#like lesbian just feels like the right label for me but like i dont consider labels a restriction like

[jewishfalin]

I consider myself a lesbian but I'm nonbinary so things can get funky bc i get with other nb people and we r both beyond gender that we r gay in every way all at once ykno

#also idc maybe id get w a gay guy or someone on accident and i wouldnt regret it bc we gnc bitches r all so gorgeous it transcends labels #like lesbian just feels like the right label for me but like i dont consider labels a restriction like #shit happens #and ik I'll get shit for this but idc #straight people will say the same shit all the time but will rarely get the whole- #but r u ACTUALLY straight bc ur comfy w ur sexuality and might experiment sometimes just cuz #idk its like #i find myself attracted to women mostly and people w similar gender vibes to me so im like ig im lesbian #i dont actively think abt being w a binary guy and seek that out #but if someone passes the vibe check who knows #but usually when that happens they later trans their gender bc my gender radiation is too powerful #wtf am i even talking about #anyways #cis ppl dont interact im beyond your comprehension this is not ur territory

[rouge-the-bat]

i really do wonder what ppl who tout the "non-men loving non-men" definition of lesbian think about multigender people. do they EVER consider us? even a tiny bit? bc it certainly doesnt feel like it. it feels like any one of these situations:

they already dont think being multigender is a thing, and say shit like "you can only be a man, a woman, or nonbinary, not all of the above."

they quite literally dont think about how multigender people would work in relation to sexuality. they may claim to support us, but they dont pay attention to or care about the fact our gender identity ISNT just an isolated thing that has no affect or connection to anything else about us.

they look at my gender (genderfluid between woman, man, and many forms of nonbinary, more oftentimes a mix), and say oh well youre PARTIALLY a man in some way so that means you cant be a lesbian! so, basically my man-ness just "taints" me and negates the fact that im also a woman and nonbinary? what about the days where my genderfluidity contains no bit of man at all? can i only be a lesbian SOMETIMES?

they yell about non-men all they want, but see my gender and go, "oh not YOU though :) i mean people who are ONLY a man!" and not realize how that is 1. them not saying at all what they mean in their definition if still SOME men are okay and 2. extremely comes across as misgendering and that they dont see me as Actually a man if im not mono-gendered, regardless of their intention. if you are going to categorize people as "men or non-men" and try to fit me in only one or the other, you are misgendering me no matter what. non-men is not the same thing as non-mono-gendered-men.

and all of this also makes me wonder: what would these people think if they saw me in person, holding hands with my girlfriend?

for context: transmeds would 100% consider me a faker not only bc im genderfluid, use any pronouns (esp neos), and am without dysphoria (for gender anyways), but because theyd think im just cis. im afab with no hormone changes or surgery, nor do i want any (my ideal genitals being a dick or barbie-doll-smooth aside, since i dont care enough to do surgery about it, and any of my other gender ideals would require shapeshifting), i like my big boobs, AND im femme. my fat even adds to my curves. most people would probably read me as only a girl and not think twice about it, esp if im dressing up as femme as i like being at the time.

so, if these people shouting "non-men loving non-men" at those like me all the time ended up seeing me irl, what would they think? would they see im extremely femme and read as a girl while holding hands with my girlfriend (who isnt femme but still is easily read as a girl) and think oh yeah, thats a lesbian right there? because a huge part of me says that they absolutely would have no issue with it

who knows if anyone who swears up and down by the "non-men loving non-men" definition will actually read this, but i REALLY wish more people would actually hear out multigender folks and see how definitions like this are incompatible with us. think about how our identity doesnt exist in a vacuum. realize that plenty of us ARE lesbians no matter what anyone else says, and we do not abide to your """inclusive""" definition that actually doesnt consider our existence at all.

or at least realize identity labels dont have a one-size-fits-all definition in the vastness of queer experiences, that people are going to have definitions for things that are different from yours, and you dont hold the One True Right Definition. realize that definitions are not rules that are placed upon words, theyre explanations for how these words are being used across the world, through time, and vary from person, place, and time. definitions are fluid, not static, and many words have multiple definitions.

#lesbian #multigender #genderfluid #lesboy #genderfluid lesbian #multigender lesbian

[cowboyjen68]

hi cowboyjen! im a lesbian in my 20s and i need some advice -- i really would like to use the butch label for myself but i hesitate because i worry others dont see me as "butch enough," so what makes a butch, butch?

Butch is something I came into because of my shared experiences with other butches. I see it as partly how I am percieved but also how I see myself in the world. It plays a part in how I relate to to other women and how women relate to me.

Not everyone who wears masculine clothing is butch (ask the women farmers around rural Iowa who are straight LOL) and being butch does entail a certian about of experiences that are common. Butches can't shake off how they are seen by others with clothing or hair styles. The energy is contast and often confuses others into being unsure if we are a man or woman upon first or even second glances.

Butch enough is not really something I put too much stock in. Butches come in all sizes, abilities and have varied jobs and interests.

The most common shared butch stories are being called Sir when someone does a quick take. Being told we "should have been a boy" or "why do you want to look like a man". We look (and feel) obviously awkward in women's dress clothing. I and all my butch friends have several stories of being ushered from or told we are in the wrong bathroom. EVEN when I had a pony tail. We get told by straight women they "wish we were men" or we "must be better than men because we understand women but are still.. you know.. manly".

Aesthetically we tend to prefer men's (read utilitarian) and short hair (again read utilitarian) but this can vary. It is a bit of a generalization. Comfortable clothing is chosen over just pleasing to look at. Let me be clear, there is NOTHING wrong with dressing in things other consider "uncomfortable) because you want to be attractive to any give group of people. Don't yuck other's yum. We all have the right to our tastes but I am speaking from a butch perspective.

Find older butches who resemble you. SIze, body shape etc and talk with them. Butch certianly does not fit everyone but in general those women who feel "butch" speaks to them is probably more accurate about themselves than others can be.

It is perfecty fine to try Butch on for size, just don't get a bit old tattoo or change all your social media right away. GIve yourself some time to decide, Yeah for me or Nah not for me.

#butch #lesbian

[eirian]

yall ready for a gender journey post..

so yall could probably guess i grew up a cis girl. i didnt start questioning my gender until high school after i broke up with my first boyfriend which kind of freed me up to explore my identity as my own person for the first time. around age like 16 was when i first started identifying as trans, and at the time that meant a binary trans guy

after a couple years of getting comfortable exploring my gender i decided hey maybe im actually not a binary trans guy but instead nonbinary. still transmasc and guy leaning but not quite all the way anymore. this became a trend for the next loooong while, getting closer to the androgynous part of the spectrum as time went on

then in recent years (maybe about 5 years ago ish) i started to lean more towards femininity. this is significant for me because growing up i was always opposed to it--i hated wearing dresses, i hated putting on makeup, anything "girly" appalled me and i didnt know why. i ended up thinking its because i WASNT a girl, and thats why i was so uncomfortable with everything to do with being a girl. i rejected it so hard because it just wasnt me.

after living with eden for a while i got even more comfortable exploring the feminine part of myself. i started wearing dresses and skirts and actually ENJOYED it; i started painting my nails and wearing earrings again; i even grew my hair out to my shoulderblades (yeah thats where its at now LOL). ive even started using she/her alongside they/them. and im actually enjoying these things??? it feels like after all these years im finally able to reclaim them because i feel like im finally able to be comfortable with my gender--how my gender feels to ME, not to everyone else.

that was the problem when i was growing up--i was trapped in everyone else's perception of my gender and what it "should" be. i was trapped into a box that was made by everyone else's idea of what i SHOULD look like, what i SHOULD wear, what i SHOULD act like, etc. and it took me until age 26 to fully realize that my gender is what i want it to be, not what everyone else wants.

i dont have to be a guy to want facial hair and a flat chest and a low voice. loving pink and dresses and cute things and makeup and jewelry doesnt inherently mean im a girl. pronouns, features, clothes, even names dont inherently mean youre one gender or another. your gender is defined by you and only you and nobody should be able to put you into a box and define your gender for you.

..having said all this, im starting to explore my gender further, and im slowly coming to the POSSIBLE conclusion that i might come back around to being cis (albeit gnc). nothing would really change about me except the label tbh. if i do end up coming to that conclusion i will be very bummed about leaving the trans community, but i wont feel any less attached to it, as ive spent literally half my life as part of it. i understand what its like to be trans and to love myself as my most authentic self, and thats why im considering this possiblity!

identifying as a lesbian kind of pushed me in this direction as well--i cant remember the last time i felt truly comfortable and happy with a label regarding my orientation.. like ya damn. maybe i am a girl who likes girls LOL. it just feels right and natural for me personally??? its crazy. i love women. if youre a woman i love you no matter the flavor. i love my wife more than all of you though sorry <3

but god please dont take this as me being like "oh trans people just need to get comfortable with their gender and theyll realize theyre cis" that is a bullshit take and i am not saying that. this is strictly my own experience and journey! i am 100% not speaking for every trans person and you shouldnt either.

but ya. dan cis era???? we'll see. no official statement just yet but i just wanted to let yall know where im at in my ~gender journey~. until i confirm anything please still view me as a nonbinary girlthing! <3

#i have to reiterate i am KEEPING the name dan saiyan. and my facial hair and deep voice #like i said. these things do not mean anything irt my gender. they are just part of me #if i say im a cis woman and i have facial hair and the name dan then thats what cis looks like for me <3 #i honestly feel free as hell. im defining my gender for myself now and its the most powerful feeling in the world

[the-pea-and-the-sun]

how did it take me so long to start calling myself aromantic/arospec. like now that ive actually started using the term for myself its so crazy to me that i wasnt using this term since the first time i heard about it. i literally remember like almost a year ago being like "i wish i could just call myself aromantic itd just be a way easier way to explain to people the sort of relationships i want since im interested in sex and really close friendships but not really interested in traditional romantic relationships right now" like my brother you CAN?? jesus fuck. like this thought came aftera series of relationships where i would tell my friends that i had a crush on someone, then the relationship progressed in someway, then i got the sense that the person i was interested in had romantic feelings for me and id get this weird horrible feeling and would run away. and i was literally like "what is this whats going on". i was like woah this must be like.... commitment issues or something. like i was going around telling people that. i was getting over commitment issues that were surely temporary. but they werent asking me to commit to anything they just had feelings for me that i couldnt reciprocate bcz i was just attracted to them and wanted to me friends with them and i thought thats what romantic attraction was. i literally remember telling someone abt someone i liked an they were like "why dont u ask them out?" an my answer was just that i was trying to find reasons not to and i couldnt. cuz i was attracted to them and liked spending time with them and liked being their friend but i was so so happy not being in a romantic relationship anymore and i couldnt shake the feeling that if i got into another one even with the perfect person it was literally gonna ruin my life and i would have to pretend to have feelings that i didnt have.

idk im frustrated that i hadnt considered it sooner but its also kinda exciting to discover something abt urself an ur sexuality. like this label brings me the same joy that other labels that ive discovered fit me do like i feel like how i felt when i came to terms w being trans an being bisexual. i feel like im 13 again finding trans and bisexual youtubers and being like "??? there are others?" like ppl dont talk abut it as much w being aro and ace bcz those are defined by the absence of a feeling rather than the presence of one but it really can be just as exciting to find out that you're aro or ace as it can be to discover that you're a lesbian or gay or transgender or something.

like not to be cheesy but discovering that i could just. have friends and also have sex made everything kinda click in my head for me. like literally i felt like a more complete person. experiencing that and realizing like. oh. this is amazing this is literally all i want like nothing is missing. i literally just dont have to do romance stuff like no ones making me do that why did i think i have to do that. like oh my god this is such a good feeling i really can do whatever i want forever.

this post doesnt rly have a point exactly i just kinda have a lot of feelings to get out. i love you aromantic ppl i love being aromantic it fucking rules actually. every aromantic person whos posted abt their experience an helped me get comfortable w the label i owe u a hundred billion dollars jesus christ i love you guys

#i need to. find more aromantic ppl i need to cook for u guys or give u guys money or something #i owe openly aromantic ppl so much i gotta get out there #im so excited to go to a bigger city an visit/volunteer at their lgbtqia center i Really Really wanna meet some aro ppl in person #i love my local one but it is quite small #maybe my expectations r too high. idk. the idea of meeting other aromantic ppl jus kinda makes my brain start buzzing #also aro ppl interact plz ill follow u guys #aro #aromantic #arospec #aromantism #aromaticism #? #i cant spell

[our-aroace-experience]

hii i just want to vent a little bc i dont see much of ppl talking about the same struggle ive being thru and its like at first i considered myself to be a lesbian but as time passed i started to feel like being aroace was more what i actually am instead of a lesbian but at the same time i wonder if my aesthetic atraction and emotional atraction being only towards women would make me a lesbian aroace or not so idk im confused abt that even if i know i can be both but it still not feel like being a lesbian is actually the right label bc i just dont feel like other lesbians or sapphics in general feel like, bc they always say that women are perfect and etc etc but i simply dont feel that way i am very picky when it comes to people lol and i dont think all women are atractive and goddess and etc etc maybe its something silly but when i talk with other lesbians or sapphics i just dont feel like im part of them. either way most ppl i talk to only see me as a lesbian bc they dont know much or dont understand what being aroace is so ig it doesnt matter that much, but it still bothers me not feeling like im actually a lesbian for not behaving like other sapphics. anyways im actually glad i found myself in the aroace community at least

you can definitely call yourself and aroace lesbian (it could be considered being oriented aroace, if you want to look into that label)

and as for not fitting in with lesbians, i get that, hopefully you can find some other aspec lesbians to fit in! you can always send an ask to @our-sapphic-experience to find some!

#our aroace experience #aroace asks #aromantic #asexual #aro #ace #aroace #aro pride #ace pride #lesbian #oriented aroace

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

FDC LOSERS GET NO BITCHES💞💞💞

something i want to say first and foremost: there will be asks of questionable morality and asks that show the "uglier" side of NPD, it is a trauma disorder and more often than not it does not have pretty symptoms.

if you are an egotypical here to learn about NPD, you need to know no one here is going to be a "model minority" or whatever you're thinking. if you've come here to learn, you need to be open and aware many of us do not have "pretty" symptoms and this is a space we will not hide that in.

i am open to this being a space where egotypicals can read about our symptoms and experiences but ultimately, this space is not for you. this is a space for people with NPD and we will not filter ourselves just because it makes you uncomfortable.

heyo! like mentioned in the description this is a safe place and culture blog for people with narcissistic personality disorder to share their experiences :)

about the admin:

our names are poker, chorus, or fate

our collective pronouns are they/he and we collectively identify as a genderqueer aroace mspec lesbian

we're a polyfragmented system

we are clusters a, b, and c. we have NPD, HPD, BPD, AvPD, PPD, and are now heavily questioning StPD.

we're autistic and have ADHD

we're bodily white and ethnically jewish

frequent fronters:

🧋 - they/it/mint/nova+ - primary host, npd + hpd symptoms holder

📻 - he/him - secondary host, persecutor, bpd symptoms holder

🌃 - he/it - co-host, soother

🎶 - coffin/thou/they/she+ - co-host, homicidal thoughts holder

🥤 - he/him - sidesystem host

fun fact, there's a polish version of this blog! @bycie-narcyzem-to

we also run @hpdcultureis and @polyfragcultureis

tags:

media - npd character headcanons (and sometimes even characters who canonically have npd)

song reccs - songs with npd vibes

ableist creators - creators who use ableist language/demonize pwnpd/ect (i've said it once and i will say it again, this tag is not inherently meant to 'cancel' anyone in it or say they are malicious. i understand a lot of people are just ignorant and misinformed but i still believe pwnpd deserve to be warned ahead of time if a creator uses ableist language.)

point and laugh at the ableist - a tag for any hate i get that i decide to respond to for whatever reason, if you'd like to avoid it then block this tag

semi on topic to this section, refer to this post if you want to claim something as a sign off :)

dni:

basic dni (queerphobes, racists, terfs/radfems, ect. you get the idea)

exclustionists (we consider ourselves critically inclusive)

support transrace and transabled (people with biid are obviously fine), we have complex feelings on transage but generally have little problem with it as long as they use a different term such as altage or chronosian

people who believe in "narc abuse" or use narcissist in a derogatory sense/use it as a synonym for abuser

people who demonize npd or any cluster b disorders in general

anti-self-dx, we support self-dx here and people dont owe you an explanation on why they dont want to/cant get a professional diagnosis

radqueer, radpara, pro/neu/complex contact on harmful paras, hardcore proshippers or antis (just keep shipcourse away in general)

our syscourse stance if that's important to you i guess, i also want to add if you're against the HC-DID label or try to silence RAMCOA survivors, fuck right off ❤

other things to keep in mind:

if youre here to tell me about your relative/ex partner who had npd please dont <3. even if you put "but i dont think all people with npd are evil" after it, i genuinely dont want to hear about it.

similarly please dont come here to tell me how you "support people with npd as long as theyre not abusive," i agree with the sentitment and phrase but the fact that your immiedate thought after i bring up npd is abusers is part of the problem.

please start your asks with some form of "npd culture is." this can also include things like "npd + bpd culture is" and "npd artist culture is," as long as it includes npd in some way.

if youre here to send hate youre just feeding my ego lol you lose by default <3. (as a little side note though, any hate i get sent that i decide to post and make fun of will be put under the tag "point and laugh at the ableist" so if you'd like to avoid those, feel free to block the tag.)

i reserve the right to not post any asks/submissions for any reason.

please dont ask me for advice, i feel uncomfortable giving it on the topic of npd. i'm also not always 100% comfortable answering questions about it as i'm not a professional and it's not exactly where my confidence in my knowledge of psychology lies. i'm just someone with npd, i don't know everything and i don't want to be the cause of misinfo spreading. i'll try my best to answer questions i feel more confident on, but i won't answer everything.

we don't do this so much anymore but if an ask/post is tagged with an emoji, pay it no mind, its just how we keep track of which headmate posted what.

our system blog and the blog we post on most is @doomsdayradio. our main we follow/like/reply from is @demi-and-awkward.

tags:

@clusterbsafespace @cluster-b-culture-is @histrionic-culture-is @npdbubblygum @npdsafe @narconfessions @narc-rants-and-vents @narcpup

#npd #narcissistic personality disorder #actually npd #actually narcissistic #cluster b #cluster b personality disorder #cluster b pds #npd safe #actually cluster b #personality disorders #narcissist #not culture #❓ #ask game #point and laugh at the ableist #song reccs #info #npd + cdd culture is

[frecklystars]

i think im a lesbian and thats been making me cry in the middle of the night every night for the last umm i dont know. week. couple of weeks maybe. i dont want to be a lesbian bc ive been bi for so long and i dont want another sexuality crisis. but at the same time the idea of being with a man makes me feel so fucking repulsed and i dont know if thats bc ive just had multiple experiences of a male friend making inappropriate comments toward me when i used to trust him OR if its bc i am genuinely realizing i have never. never. never. never. never had strong feelings for a man the way i do with a woman. like i saw a cute customer today who was a guy but i wouldnt date him. i thought he was cute but i wouldnt do anything about it, like if he asked me out i'd feel uncomfortable. but then i saw a blonde woman walk in and i thought to myself, god she's gorgeous and if she asked me out right now i'd say yes when and where!!

i only feel "i'd kiss him i'd date him i'd hold his hand" with fictional male characters and male celebrities. not real/obtainable people. would i still feel that way if they were physically in front of me? i think i would, i think if ken were in front of me calling me sweet girl i'd never feel repulsed. i think if a guy who looked and acted exactly like ryan gosling was in front of me asking me out i'd consider it maybe? but i know i feel genuine love for my F/Os. my feelings for them are 100% real and pure. i hear that could possibly be an aromantic thing, to be genuinely attracted to your F/Os but not real people. but i feel genuinely attracted to real women!! sometimes!! half the time!!! not ALL the time and i don't know if i'd be willing to be in a relationship bc i'm so detached to the idea of a relationship but like... the attraction is absolutely there to some degree and it seems to be that way strongly for women

and then i thought, ok well, bisexual means being attracted to two or more genders, right? and i'm attracted to (probably) anyone who isn't a man, though my strongest feelings are for women. but then someone else told me that the lesbian label would still include people who aren't strictly women, so?? like?? i'm just confused i was hoping lesbian meant "just women" so then i can tell myself "oh i cant be a lesbian then because i've felt attraction to nonbinary/genderfluid ppl as well who don't identify as women at all" but if the lesbian label includes that, then uh, maybe i'm? a lesbian?

but god i have felt so uncomfortable around a man who's been making me feel unsafe lately, and it's just making me wake up and realize i've never been genuinely wholeheartedly attracted to men, period. not once. i've had small fleeting little crushes but if that crush asked me out i'd say No Get The Fuck Away From Me. there was actually an instance where i had a small "crush"(?) on a male coworker when i was 18 years old for a few weeks, but then he asked me out, and i felt so disgusted and uncomfortable that i went to my car and cried. and then i had a crush on a nonbinary person years later and that felt. so. fucking good. that felt so whole and so real to me. and then i had a crush on a woman years after that and i would lie awake at night with the most pure beautiful feeling in my chest. and when they asked me out i didn't feel grossed out at all, i felt wonderful, i felt amazing, i was shaking because i was so happy

but i have never ever ever once felt that way with a man. and it makes me sad bc i spent so long calling myself bisexual but i dont think that fits me anymore and i dont think some of my family members would really love me anymore if i came out as a lesbian and i just. dont want to think about it too hard but its all i can think about. i dont want to label myself right now but i dont feel good if i dont have a label. like, i can stick with bisexual just for the sake of a label making me feel comfortable but i dont feel bisexual if that HAS to include men. does bisexual HAVE to include men, if youre a cis woman identifying as bi??? can me being bisexual be attraction ANYONE EXCEPT a man??? with just a very very very very strong preference for women????

i just wish my F/Os were real, i would just be with them and forget labels entirely and just get tf outta here. i know if my male fictional others were to come to life, it wouldnt repulse me. i've asked other lesbians "if YOUR male F/O was real and in front of you with a bouquet of flowers asking you out, would you date him" they have all said "no not at all, bc he isn't a woman. i am only attracted to him fictionally but if he were real i'd feel nothing". so like. i dunno. because if ken or plankton were real i'd feel everything.

im so sick of being here im so sick of men making inappropriate comments about my body when theyre supposed to be ppl that i trust and im so sick of wanting a girlfriend but not wanting a relationship, yearning for women but not wanting anything to do with actually dating somebody. exhausting. all of this is exhausting. am i aro am i a lesbian can i be bisexual i dont feel bisexual anymore i'm dragging that label's dead weight on my shoulders and i want to replace it i WANT a label but i dont know what my label is and im tired. i dont think my family members would accept me being a lesbian and that hurts. i tried telling my dad yesterday and he was like "no you don't know what you are, you don't have enough experience to know if you like men or not. i think you'll marry a man one day" no the idea of marriage repulses me too actually. im indifferent to sex, i dont want to get married, i dont want a relationship. but god i want a woman in my life who i can kiss and come home to and hold and ask her about her day and slow dance with in the living room. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. can barbie be real i just want to date barbie. she's human isn't she. c'mon barbie where are you girl you gotta come and rollerblade to my place so we can forget everything and be aromantic lesbians together

#vent #delete later #SORRY it is 8am i need to sleep but i cant sleep and i am spiraling a little bit ;-; #nobody has to feel obligated to read/respond i just needed to dump this somewhere!

[syntaxfraud]

Vent

TW: mentions of bl0od, some cusswords, dysphoria

I was questioning my identity as a non-human, and I mightve figured that I most closely identified to being a vampirekin (potentially a fictokin? Idk if I spelled that right) or an alienkin. Also keep in mind that Im fifteen, so my vent could have a few grammatical mistakes.

I could be a therian as well but I realized that I could be 'choosing' to identify as one to find some community to relate to (since Im autistic and cant really socialize with people, especially with my peers in HS). I dont necessarily feel a connection with most animals, let alone nature, and I felt emotionally numb when I did quadrobics.

So there's probably a low chance of me actually having a connection to animals, therefore it wouldnt be best for me to identify as a therian. But at the same time, Ive shown the most important criteria of being a therian, such as dreaming, shifting, etc,. Specifically, Ive shifted into a bat (flying fox) in dreams and phantom shifts. This could have some correlation to being a vampirekin in a sort pf eay though, because in the dream I remember I was a vampire.

On the otherhand, Ive always had some connection with supernatural beings and aliens. I think I was around seven when I watched a vampire movie (hotel trannsylvania) and I quickly felt this weird connection with the vampires. I legit wanted to be a vampire, hell I even dreamt of becoming one multiple times (I still do, Ive tried lucid dreaming because of that). The problem was that I didnt have the urge to drink blood, I mean I've tried when I was 12-14 (Im 15 now) and in my edgy phase (so its either I did that because its cool or because it has something to do with my kintype). Idk, my guess is that I could have some non-human dysphoria (since I always wanted sharper canines), maybe a bit of a psychological connection to vampire kintype, and definitely an emotionally connection to vampire kins.

But theres another problem, because I noticed that the vampires that I had an emotional connection to most were only from the castlevania show. I am aware that multiple shows/movies/etc,. can potray vampires in various perspectives but if I only related to vampires from one specifc kind of show, then shouldnt that logically indicate that Im a fictokin? I've kinned multiple characters because I was able to relate to their personalities, backstories, development, etc,. (even though those specifc characters werent created to be relatable)

So my concerns are that;

I dont know if its possible to have multiple other-kin types. I mean it sorta makes sense, since there can be gray areas in a black and white concepts but still lmao-

Also, if my idenity as a therian and otherkin are both valid, Im afraid if I might be considered cringe or delusional. Like I've seen people react to cringe comps with people saying that they're (example): "lesbian, transgender, cat/wolf therian, fictokin" (Im just putting random identities as an example, no bigotry intended) and they did not take that lightly, because apparently those peopke are putting 'too many labels on themselves'. Because of that, Im afraid if I might be one of those people, since I also personally identify as a lot of stuff (trans male, pansexual, potentially otherkin/therian).

I'm not sure if I'm choosing to be a therian/otherkin, since I could be trying to fit myself into a specific community due to social isolation (which Ive struggled with my entire life). Im also scared if my identity could be a phase too tbh.

Honestly any advice is appreciated, I would also definitely like to know how yall figured out that you were non-humans <3

#vampirekin #therian community #therian culture #therian #species dysphoria #otherkin #fictokin #otherkin community

[ispyspookymansion]

kora if u feel comfortable could u talk about ur gender journey and relationship w lesbianism bc sometimes im like that tweet that's like. im probably trans but i have a job so idrc about that but. ough it's scary and confusing. what if im just butch.

oh wow! well let me think. going to put this under a cut because its longish

it was a much harder path for me to get to lesbianism than to get to Gender. i had a really hard time accepting that for some reason, it took a lot of agonizing, a lot of intentional repression, a lot of misery and wallowing around words and labels and avoidance and definitions. so by the time i got through that it then opened up some gender doors for me because lesbianism is inherently disruptive of the cisheterosexual matrix, but i really, really didnt want to go through that misery again, so i just decided it didnt matter what i was as far as gender and what mattered was how i felt and what made me happy. i only became confident in calling myself trans in the last ohh i dont know, 6 months? and yet ive been on T for a year! for me the actions came easier than the wording. i tried not to stress about what i was doing and whether it was or wasnt aligned with lesbianism. i trusted in our history of transness and masculinity and found a lot of comfort in talking to other butch and transmasc lesbians about their experiences and feelings, and found such a range of experiences that felt very relevant to me

ultimately, i feel like a lesbian. i knew that and i continue to know that. the way that i feel about the people im attracted to and the kinds of relationships i want to have is what connects me to lesbianism. i dont feel like lesbianism is my last thread to womanhood. it isnt a thread to that at all. theres too rich a history of gender defiance and creation to simplify it like that, so i dont let it be that for me. i dont feel dysphoric about being a lesbian even if cis(het) people might not understand me as being transmasc as well. + butch and transmasc arent exclusive and are often beautiful beautiful copilots in dykery !

i also find pursuing what makes me feel good matters a lot more than finding exact words for it. im not really sure what my gender is honestly? it took me a long time to get comfortable/feel like i was allowed to call myself lesbian, trans, and butch too honestly. but i went through a lot less misery when i took actions First to figure out what felt right and then accepted the words that naturally followed After. am i trans or am i not trans stressed me out much more than do i want to bind or not? do i want my voice to be lower or not? do i want to try a different name and pronouns or not? and then my answers to these led me to actions and opportunities that got me to feeling comfortably trans, without putting so much questioning strain on the lesbianism i felt at my core.

+ the opposite is helpful. crossing off what am i Not and what i dont want can be a lot easier than what Am i. woman has always been absolutely not right. trans took longer to feel right which is silly versus logically if i wasnt cis, i was trans, but i had to go in steos

i guess just remember that theres not a really hard line between butchness and the transmasc umbrella (other than personal definition obviously) and you can be one or both or one now and then later realize the other feels better. try to read about butches and he/him lesbians and transmasc dykes and talk to them where you can and enjoy the range of answers and identities and give yourself grace to explore that without so much pressure on whether its one or the other. youre still you regardless of what words to use to describe it so take your time figuring out what you want before you worry too much about what that means you “are”

ALSO you dont have to be butch to be trans and still a lesbian or vice versa you can be nonbinary or genderqueer or agender or genderfluid or etc etc etc and consider those under the label Trans and also be butch! or you can be those things but Not butch and still a lesbian! you can do whatever forever!

#im not sure if that answers anything! #it is really touching to be asked this since asking MY tumblr mutuals and ppl i followed stuff was important to me going through this for #myself ^_^ happy to help if i did help at all that is…..hopefully #if not feel free to ask something more specific ! #kora.txt #asks #anons

[genderstarbucks]

i have a request

xenogender for ppl who r pro stoning mspec lesbian/gays or ppl who believe male lesbians exist, also dawg half of the stuff in ur intro isnt real and just made up so you can feel special just put "I am gay/queer and trans" nobody needs to know that you are an otter attracted to twinks and bears 500+ fetishes n shit , gay ppl didnt die just so you can sit around and say "guyyyyssss ughhh lesbians can be attracted to men!! they can they can!!!" and trans ppl didnt die just so you can say "guys dont see me as a girl pls it makes me sooo uncomfy but im a female ftm woman trans man pussy vagina cunt man BUT DONT CALL ME A WOMAN GIRL PLS PLS DONT USE SHE HER ON ME!!!!!!!! IM JUST A SHEHERWOMAN BOY!!!"

Usually I ignore hate like this but this is so fucking funny to me

Nowhere in my bio does it say I'm a woman you dumbass LMFAO, it says I'm female, which is different than a woman

Saying I'm just gay and trans does not explain the entirety of my experience, I can use whatever fucking labels I want to describe myself whether you like it or not you wet sock

"That's not real it's made up", yeah all words are you fucking idiot

The fact that you would stone people based on an identity that literally doesn't affect your tiny brain at all says a lot about you

YOU'RE the one who's disrespecting the trans people who have died to transphobia by caring so much about the fact that this is how I experience my transness

I think they'd be proud of the fact that me and so many others are reclaiming slurs that have been used against us

Have you ever even heard of cistrans people? Probably not considering your brain implodes at the thought of male lesbians

Also where the fuck are the "fetishes" in my bio you're speaking of? Those are just my dating preferences fuckface, what? Are you mad that you don't fit those preferences? You're just mad you can't be with me because I'm so great

You are actually so fucking stupid it's funny, you think I actually care about your opinion?

Mspec gays, lesbians and straights will and have always existed, no matter what your tiny brain thinks

Lesboys and turigirls still exist too you idiot

Oh boo hoo a butch lesbian is calling themselves a lesboy, and you're getting offended over that? That's really fucking pathetic

Gay and trans people died for my and other weird queer people's rights, and the rights for us to identify however we want

R you rlly gonna support xenogenders but not other niche queer identities? Stupid ass

Nobody ever said all lesbians like men or that lesbians have to like men, lesbians only like men if they're attracted to men while also calling themselves a lesbian you dumbass

Irl literally nobody cares if you identify as an mspec gay or lesboy, it's people like you who keep pulling this stupid discourse back up WHEN LITERALLY NOBODY CARES

It's not affecting you assfuck

I'm pro stoning people who are like you, specifically with big boulders

[xxcalicofemmexx]

i think the thing is, is a lot of exclusionists are coming at this from the wrong direction. so much of the language used to argue against mspec lesbians is binarist to the extreme, which is extremely frustrating when what we’re talking about is a non-binary identity.

lesbianism has always included nonbinary people, and bisexuals, and gender nonconformists, and trans people, and aspecs, and men, and genderqueers, and mspec people of all kinds! we didn’t always have the language, but if you know what to look for you’ll see we were ALWAYS there.

but then the second wave of feminism hit, and with it came a lot of very loud upper-middle class white women’s opinions. political lesbianism became a thing, and lesbian separatism, and suddenly it wasn’t enough to just love women anymore. in fact, under political lesbian ideology, queer love for women didn’t factor in at all.

men were evil. men were inherently oppressors. men were sexually depraved animals that would ruin anything they touched. attraction under this ideology was an ethical choice. any woman who chose to align herself with a man was a traitor to the cause, and a victim of the patriarchy, and impure.

if that terminology sounds familiar, you’re right, it is! this was the birth of radical feminism, and with it came proto-TERFism.

now, please take a moment to consider why it became so important to center the exclusion of “men” in the definition of lesbianism. think about why a binary of “okay” and “not okay” genders would be encouraged, and who would benefit from their segregation.

all that said, i’ll address your concerns point by point

one of the bigger confusions for me with the mspec lesbian label is: what is a lesbian then?

the answer is the same as any queer identity. it’s up to personal interpretation. lesbian is a word that someone chooses to express theirself, to explain their identity, and to help find community where they belong.

in my opinion, and how i define lesbian for personal use: a lesbian is someone who experiences queer attraction to women, and prioritizes that attraction when seeking relationships.

but if a lesbian defines their personal experience with lesbianism around their lack of attraction to men, that’s cool! it’s their identity, and they’re the only one who can decide how to relate that to the real world.

the not cool part is when a singular experience is generalized, and touted as universal.

There Is No Universal Experience. the way you feel is not going to be exactly identical to everyone else.

Ive heard [lesbian] re-defined “queer attraction to women” but thats also for example what bisexual women have.

this seems to be a shocking statement to a lot of exclusionists. but. having things in common with other queer people is a good thing. yes, correct, bisexual women experience queer attraction to women. and they have personal reasons why they don’t identify with lesbianism, just like you (i assume) have personal reasons why you don’t identify with mspec labels. some people have personal reasons why they identify with multiple labels. and it’s not our business to pry into anyone’s private life!

also, as an aside bc it feels like a lot of people forget this: a bi woman’s queer attraction to women is not lesser than a lesbian woman’s. bisexuals and lesbians are equally queer. bi women and lesbian women have valuable shared experiences, including and not limited to their love for women, and the history of their communities.

Lesbianism centers women and its the only sexuality that doesnt include men.

it is not the only sexuality that doesn’t include men. ceterosexual. finsexual. enbian. neptunic. nominsexual. womasexual. hell, even bisexual doesn’t have to include men! i could go on and on and on, but my point is made.

if you don’t want to use a different label when you already identify with lesbianism so strongly, well… huh. i wonder who else feels that way 🤔

I dont see why lesbians cant just have our own label for our own sexuality?

this is a bad argument, and my absolute least favorite phrase to hear in a conversation about inclusivity. i will not give a question asked in such bad faith the dignity of a real response.

If we decide lesbianism includes men we wont even have a label for that shared experience anymore.

again, we’re not ~deciding~ that lesbianism includes men. multigender, genderfluid, nonbinary, butch, and otherwise genderqueer lesbians have always existed. it’s transphobic revisionism to say that they didn’t, to pretend this is a new concept.

parting statements

1) there are always reasons why a person connects with a label. when it comes to queer identity, a lot of people think long and hard about it. we’re talking hours upon hours of introspection- weeks, years even. if someone identifies in a way you don’t understand, it’s not your business to question them. they’ve thought about their experience more than you ever could.

2) because this is a big argument that gets thrown around: we are not going to force you to fuck men. we are not going to force you to fuck us. if you are not attracted to men, and/or you don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who could be, then walk away from them. that’s literally all it takes.

3) the acknowledgement and acceptance of mspec lesbians Does Not suggest or encourage the normalization of corrective rape, conversion therapy, or lesbophobic harassment. it does not contribute to lesbian erasure, as that is a problem with public representation and historical accounts, Not a matter of personal identity

repost, og posted feb 24, 2023

#bi lesbian #lunian #mspec lesbian #bi lesbian discourse #mspec lesbian discourse #i speak #anon #answers #long post #old blog

[heirscrchd]

serious ask:

do you think azula met a/a few trans women during her time post atla?? what would her thoughts be??

(disclaimer: anon is trans)

Okay I'm going to be forward here, I don't know a lot about the subject of being Trans.

Identity for me is extremely difficult and while I could be considered under the umbrella of trans (I identify as sorta-NB, demi-girl? IDK where this falls) and sexuality also is extremely difficult for me to get into because of the complexities of it and how simple labels can be when we boil it down.

I don't know how to answer a lot of these difficult questions and I'll fully admit my ignorance and faults I've made.

I'm putting this under a cut so I don't put a giant post on the dash for people who don't want to get involved in it. Please let me know if you need this tagged

When I first made this blog I did see Azula more as a female-leaning bisexual with not a disinterest in men but more a lack of appeal towards them but wouldn't be entirely repulsed. After more speculation brought on by the mutuals I made here, I thought I might as well call her a lesbian and be flat out with it, but as me, personally, tends to be unsure how the term lesbian is seen in trans community for how Terfs like using it to discriminate against trans woman as they see lesbian as "females loving females"

I used the term lesbian and sapphic interchangeably in an attempt to be more inclusive to trans woman because there is a distinct difference between the complexities of sexuality with labels, social inclusivity, and how one personally might have a genital preference for certain sexes.

I have been informed and take responsibility that phrasing things this way does not help, or can do harm to lesbians and others by making it feel like it's a "bad" word so to speak. I accept that and you are in your full right to criticize me for it. I will do my best to keep this in mind going forward and you always are welcome to call me out for it in the future.

As to say, I'm not good and knowing how to address all this of a fictional character, let alone my own life! I call myself lesbian but I don't even know if that's true because sexuality is fluid the more we understand ourselves. My ow nsexuality has been difficult to understand with the deconstruction of what preferences are okay, what do i prefer, how my trauma impacts me being unabel to handle certai nthings, ive constantly been put into question of my label as lesbian because what if it is just my CSA trauma that stopped me from feeling safe with certain things that remind me of it, but i dont know how to fix it if it can be and i. i dont know

but its not something everyone will understand (sexuality and identity being flexible) because it can come off as "you can forcibly change someone's sexuality" which no. No I'm not saying that, but we can discover more about ourselves and change labels when we better understand ourselves and our likes and wants. (my gf for example identified as lesbian when we first met but under more analysis of herself she feels more comfortable being called pan now)

I don't genuinely know how to project all these complex thoughts onto a fictional character who in the canon is only like 14, and in the comics is 17, and genuinely am trying not to think about what the genital preference of a minor would be when they grow up because it lowkey makes me feel kinda gross.

When it comes to Azula, I don't think she personally holds any ill perspectives on trans women or trans men.

Azula holds a respect for power, honor, and a strong will. Whether the woman she speaks to or recuits is anywhere on the woman or non binary feminine leaning line or nb line in general I don't think she would discriminate against them.

I don't think Azula is a Terf, if that is what you're asking. Azula doesn't discriminate on that

she's very much someone who holds ill will towards people who personally harm her or slight her. Even the Earth kingdom and it's people she didn't hold an animosity for like she did Zuko, during the final Agni Kai, or even Mai and Ty Lee who she showed much more hatred towards for betraying her.

Trans people existing doesn't hurt Azula. Trans people living their lives, doesn't personally insult her.

Azula is fine with and would accept trans women and would accept them all the same as women or whatever they want to identify as.

*Edit, forgot to really answer the question: She probably had met at least a few trans individuals while traveling and wouldnt have any issue with them

** This also comes from Azula who was 110% fine with being called "Fire Lord" - Lord being what we see as a more masculine term than Fire Lady, so she 100% would be accepting of trans and NB individuals since she herself is willing to take on a masculine/male/whatever title despite identifying as a girl.

#lost in the temple // ooc #;; my DMs are open if people want to talk about it more #;; but i think the subject would be best laying to rest on the blog here #;; but i encourage you to call me out and talk to me because iam ignorant #;; i dont know everything #;; and i dont know how to say things right always either #;; the last thing i want to do is hurt someone here and i want to be educated on these topics because my perspective wont ever be perfect #;; but i can polish it with others pointing out my flaws

[strawberrybabydog]

lesbean!! 🫵🫵🫵 YIPPEE!! tbh yeah our own relationship with attraction is kind of complicated (we prefer the blanket queer or sapphic, dont really care to deliberate too much on that kind of stuff), those of us who are allo are primarily into fem/women, but we are also considering having a relationship with a dude we are not romantically attracted to. and also we are never certain if we are genuinely not into men or not. our mother constantly bemoans that we are like that because of her not-the-best relationship with our father, which, is probably not the case but even if it were so what. that's just the way we are. and you really wouldn't be any less valid as a lesbian if there are external factors influencing your attraction. whichever way you came to be queer or lesbian doesn't matter, you are who you are and that's it. even if it doesn't turn out to be the case, who cares, you learned something. also really dont worry about community history. i have shit memory and not matter how much i try to learn i just forget. doesnt really change my attraction and how i am treated by other people => doesnt really invalidate my place as a queer person in the community. also hello to the baby butch!!! we need more. idk if it's bcs we live in a queerphobic country but even though i am pretty fem presenting behaving in a certain way around women made feel butchy and like a knight and there are very little people like that around me and i decided that even tho i am probably not really butchy i will sort of try to be one. we are holding hands and fumbling while trying our best to be butch. baby butches for da win. also we feel we would be very down for butches ourselves if there were more around us but alas. we must provide the service ourselves. TL;DR you can do whatever you want forever. even if it may seem like some lesbian communities dont accept you there is ALWAYS a place for you and us, because there should always be a place for people just stumbling into this, at 12 or 24 or 48 or 96 yo.

OMG we are literally on the same wavelength rn !! i think in the post i said lesbian but we prefer sapphic too!! we have a sapphic flag kandi on our crutches :0] luv to keep it simple and vague

i have a complicated relationship with men too (my relationships with men have ALWAYS been queer still!!). i love and adore men so much and im attracted to them (differently?) but... kind of, not in practice? if that makes sense. another sapphic headmate selfships with a fictional man but him being fictional man is a big part of why we love him so much - it can project sapphic romanticism onto him and make him treat it more like a butch lesbian partner treats their femme than a male partner treats theirs (ex: your knightly butch feeling, which i dont think any of my man partners have felt for me? but is much more common for butches to express). i guess right now i'm just not sure what my expectations are for real life men and i'm trying to navigate it, but of course plurality also makes things much more complicated with different headmates having different ideas of romance and sexuality. i think i feel like, i love men, but men dont love me in the way i ask them to; its not a feeling reflective of reality, its just personal stuff. we're definitely attracted to whatever masculinity means for whoever our partners might be, if they happen to be masc ♡ we're sappy and find all expressions of gender from partners super hot tbh - everyone wears confidence and identity very well ♡♡ (<- we're also ace-spec or demisexual, if that makes sense. i think a lot if labels can be used to describe us now but like i said i also like to keep it simple. putting effort into your appearance whatever that looks like is ♡ugh♡. this type of attraction is very much rooted in my BPD but i really enjoy being infatuated with my partners in this eyes-only-for-you way)

our gf is femme and also gives me that big butchy hero feeling, but her softness also brings me back to girlhood and finding safety in that feeling too. we also have butch headmates ♡. ive never been with a man who has a connection to girlhood so i find myself more curious/intrigued by their experiences with boyhood than finding comfort in it/in them as a person by extension because i find such deep comfort in girlhood and unfamiliarity (or personal hurt) with boyhood. im also trying hard now to unlearn a lot of what my abuser trained me into, lots of misogyny so trying to unlearn whats left of my internalized misogyny which seems to thrive in my relationships with men -_- its a lot of personal stuff i have to think about in my relation to the rest of the world (early 20s moment lol)

it seems like a lot of sapphics have complicated relationships with eachother, ourselves, and what non-sapphics mean to us ♡ we are so brave and hot

im actually so fucking relieved to hear that Knowing Shit about lesbian history/discourse/etc isnt necessary. i guess i just follow a few particularly discoursey sapphics and it kinda poisoned my brain, but i felt like if i didnt have an extremely nuanced opinion on every historic lesbian ever i wouldnt be allowed to interact with anyone. there arent any queer spaces i think i can visit irl so i have very minimal exposure ... ive mentioned my horrible high school GSA a few times, and, yeah - "wasnt queer enough". even though i still identified as queer and my partner was a bisexual man (making our relationship, you guessed it, queer) all that mattered to them was that i was dating a cis man so i must have been some type of traitor to them because they were the type of peopke who think Men=Evil (🙄) (meanwhile, apparently some of my het peers (mutual friends) were betting mcdonalds meals on whether or not i'm a lesbian, which doesnt really feel Great? especially when they say it to your face and ask you what your sexuality is in the middle of science class??)

yeah um the lived experience of having a sexuality is complicated im trying to go with the flow but internalized homophobia (and external) is just. There! and im not at a point where its super-easy for me to detect it internally so -_- i think things will get better over time ... this is just like how when we were splitting into multiple it was also scary and hard and we felt like we were doing it wrong... things will be okay in time

#sry i rly went off there its a pretty long one lol i hope u dont mind im sry ♡♡♡ #not dog #personal #asks #delete l8r #<-maybe idk. some yall meanies lol. but i want to talk abt my experience cuz yeah maybe i am normal :0)

[xshybutdeadlyx]

Just gonna be a big rant of word vomit.

Please note I'm not trying to attack anyone I'm just kinda laying my feelings out.

I kinda wonder why I bother with Fandoms. I rarely act in any fandoms I'm hyperfixating over but for hazbin hotel I thought why not. But to the surprise of no one it is just like every other Fandom with backhanded comments always being tossed around. And most of it is centered around the character Alastor which I get but God it's giving me anxiety.

Like right now I'm seeing the a divide on the possibility of him having a kinship with the people of the hotel. Personally I think he does or more like did but he's going back to his roots of keeping everyone at an arms length and using them because of his defeat by the hands of Adam. But I personally think those feelings can resurface, but it's gonna be a battle to do so. But I am seeing a lot that people don't believe those feelings were ever there. He really is just a cold heartless bastard who has a God complex and is just mad he lost and that's it. And I feel like that is also correct. But I don't think that makes my hypothesis or how I feel I read the scene wrong? But I've seen people say "if you think this certain way then you are show illiterate and you don't know his character and IM the only one who understands him!" Like....OK? That's the beautiful thing about any piece of literature characters and scenes, anyone can interpret it in so may different ways and it doesn't make anyone wrong. So can't we all just have our own interpretation and just gush over it instead of scoffing at people who didn't see the same thing you saw?

As for shipping, that's a whole monster within its own. I personally don't think anyone is entitled to dictate what someone can and can't do with pixilated characters. I honestly very much understand that Alastor is a big deal considering he's aroace, and that doesn't get enough media representation. And I respect the hell out of it. But I'll also in the same breath say I'm a shipper. I love staticradio because I'm a sucker for enemies to lovers trope. In canon, I want Alastor to keep being the beautiful dick head he is that just has gossip tea parties with Rosie and just doesn't have those romantic or sexual urges. In fanon, though, anyone can really do what they want. I think as long as there aren't death threats or literal force being used to make the creator of the show force Alastor into a relationship I don't think theirs anything in fanon that should be taken seriously when canon is right there glaring everyone in the face. If people wanna keep the "relationship" one-sided? Awesome. If they want Alastor to smooch someone? Cool. They want him to rawdog or get raw dogged by someone. Hey, power to ya, just put it in the tags so people can steer clear of it if they don't wanna see that. I see many people saying it's erasure, but I just don't see how it's erasure when it's still there in canon. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, can erase Alastor, who is a sassy aroace king. I can't say I don't understand the mentality, though. As a bisexual woman myself, I see fanfics where bi characters are labeled straight or lesbian/gay completely, ignoring that who they date doesn't make them, neither straight nor gay. It does sting and leave a bad taste but again they can say that, they can write all they want and if it's cathartic for them then ok more power to em because at the end of the day that character is still bisexual they didn't erase it. Usually, people are good at tagging, so if they do make them one way or the other, i dont read or look at the art. It's very easy to scroll down. Sometimes i see it repedidly, but that's what blacklisting is for too. There are many countermeasures. Plus, a lot of things are all in good fun or just canon divergence. People can be creative and play with different ideas. "What if a character was like that!?" "What if they do this!?" "What if this happened instead, and it changed their whole character!?" That's what's supposed to be fun about being in fandoms. Everyone is entitled to feel how they feel. You're allowed to not like something. But I don't think you're allowed to make other people feel like shit because they go against canon, or more precisely, against your views. I genuinely don't think anyone ever means disrespect. All they want to do is have fun and create along with like-minded individuals. You're allowed to not like something. Hell, I don't like Vox and Val together, and that shits canon, but that just means I ain't gonna actively seek it out. (I personally ship Valentino with a bug zapper.)

All in all I just want everyone to feel safe and just have fun because I've just seen so many people to scared, me included, to do anything in the Fandom in fear of getting attacked and that's mostly what's been really eating away at me. But at the end of the day, this IS the internet, and discourse is basically its bread and butter.

Like I said though this is mostly just a vent post but I wouldn't mind to hear others thoughts if you're willing. I know I just probably talked out of my ass for forever. At the end of the day we are just all apart of this silly little Fandom of silly little demon people and we should all just be having fun look at what we like, write/draw what we want. It's exhausting spending energy like anger and malice, we should just focus on the things that matter to us and the things we like and just enjoy it for however long the hyperfixation lasts. Nobody is wrong. Nobody is right. we are just creators or people on here to just escape for a little bit and connect with a show or characters that resonate with us.

Ok for reals this time peace ✌️ if you made it this far and actually read everything I had to say thank you, you're a trooper. I hope I didn't offend anyone since that was not my intent. I just had a lot of feelings and I'd rather we all get along then tear each other apart.

#hazbin hotel #rant #discourse #fandom #shipping #chatacter analysis #thought about just keeping this like a journal and not post it but fuck it

[my-precious-hellscape]

hey! i saw you responded to my ask. im the "you arent a terf" fella.

i do understand that you are frustrated about the whole label of bi lesbian, and reading your points i sympathise with you more. my original message does come off as harsh at some points and i apologize about that. ill attempt to be more considerate in the future.

i dont think bi lesbians are trying to invade your community or anything, i think they are simply trying to establish one of their own. of course you can say you are a mono lesbian, which is a term ive seen used, and build community around that, but i can understand any hesitance to use it.

with your definition of lesbian being centered around not being attracted to men, what do you think about lesbians being attracted to genderfluid or bigender or any multigendered person that also includes being a man in their description for that matter? because they dont fall into the non-men catagory. part of their gender identity is a man. this isnt supposed to be a gotcha or anything, just genuinely curious about your opinion now.

any discourse boils down to throwing insults nowerdays. people get angry and they express it and get rid of it by hurling insults. not saying its right though. for me i just get incredibly anxious and then start getting overly defensive, so i send asks trying to defend people.

it is a bit funny that people called you a terf though, you being a trans woman and all. its ironic. it ultimately ends up with the word being watered down from over-use. i dont think the people saying man or dude in the other asks were being intentionally malicious, its most probably just apart of their vernacular, though it doesnt make the fact that you were misgendered suddenly disappear and i do understand that that can be upsetting, i am trans myself.

Heeeeyy, sorry for the late reply been dealing with stuff and still suffering from a cold rn. You're good, like I mentioned last time you were still the kindest message I got. I guess I'll just go one question at a time?

"i dont think bi lesbians are trying to invade your community or anything..." I mean, regardless whether they intend to or not, they still are. However, that does begs the question if informing them about the significance of their label and the impact it has could be a good way to address the issue and make them chose something else...

"of course you can say you are a mono lesbian..." How long until that gets invaded? Considering how people have been reacting to Lesbians defending their label right now, are we just to migrate from one label to the next (This is hyperbole but I honestly wouldn't even be surprised if that was what is expected of us at this point)? Not to mention, if I may be so direct, that's literally the same solution I suggested just in the opposite direction.

"with your definition of lesbian being centered around not being attracted to men..." My opinion? Don't have one. I can't say I have encountered that situation before and I don't know where the consensus lies but if I had to go with my gut feeling I'd say it's fine as long as the multi-gendered identifies as fem at all. This isn't set in stone though (most of my opinions aren't).

"any discourse boils down to throwing insults nowerdays..." It's understandable people get angry especially when their identity gets questioned. Considering the many, many, maaaany years of oppression LGBTQIA peeps have lived under, it honestly might even be a fairly healthy response. Inside queer discourse however, it does nothing but do harm.

"it is a bit funny that people called you a terf though, you being a trans woman and all. its ironic..." 'funny' and 'ironic' are certainly terms you could use to describe the situation, though personally I would chose something more along the lines of 'vile', 'malicious' or 'despicable'. That terf as a term gets overused is old news but I do agree with you

"i dont think the people saying man or dude in the other asks were being intentionally malicious..." Optimistic, but thank you for your sympathy. I actually just reblogged a post that addressed this very thing, let me quote her real quick. "If you can't stop yourself from referring to trans women with masculine gendered terms when you disagree with them, why should anyone listen to you when you're saying something about gender?" -@sailorportia

Once again it was a pleasure talking to you! Please feel free to ask me anything else or just drop by if you ever want to chat!

#anon ask #answered asks