#like who called yall LMAOOOOO | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

heavyhitterheaux · 1 year

Text

My Baby is Having Three of My Babies

First Babies of Private Garden Instagram AU

Liked by y/ninsta, urbanwyatt, saweetie, quiiso, 2forwoyne, djdrama, danivalentine, estgee, 21savage, and 4,086,225 others

jackharlow: first day out after announcing the pregnancy and her ass don't know how to act 🙄🥴

saweetie: leave my best friend alone. all she's had the pleasure of looking at is your big ass head for how many months?

jackharlow: OUTTA POCKET DIAMONTE!

urbanwyatt: and she had to fight tooth and nail for this to happen. left up to jackharlow he would have kept her in the house until the babies were born

jackharlow: urbanwyatt NO I WOULDN'T!

y/ninsta: jackharlow don't get up here and lie, only reason my pregnancy pic got posted is because I cried and you couldn't get me to stop

jackharlow: y/ninsta well excuse me for being protective over you 🙄

druski2funny: well damn throw me some. why ain't yall tell me yall were going?

jackharlow: y/ninsta you spoiled as hell smh

y/ninsta: jackharlow and it's no one's fault but yours 🥰

y/ninsta: druski2funny since when does your dumbass live in kentucky?

druski2funny: y/ninsta will travel for food

lilnasx: druski2funny your dumbass does realize that wing stop is all over the country, right?

danivalentine: my baby girl looks amazing. that glow is on point 😍

y/ninsta: special thank you to urbanwyatt who yelled at Jack because he was like 'out of all of the places we can go, you want to go to wing stop?'

urbanwyatt: y/ninsta his ass never learns smh, but I will say he's gotten better

jackharlow: urbanwyatt y/ninsta why are yall talking like I'm not here?

y/ninsta: Urby, can we go get ice cream after this? And did you hear something?

jackharlow: SERIOUSLY?

urbanwyatt: y/ninsta of course we can. extra sprinkles for the babies.

jackharlow: so just forget about me over here? WHO JUST SPENT DAMN NEAR 12,000 DOLLARS ON FOUR BIRKINS FOR YOU

y/ninsta: jackharlow it was for the babies! the babies need matching birkins with their mommy!

theestallion: lmaooo y/ninsta runs that damn house

normani: whenever she says jump, Jack says how high and how long do you want me to keep going for?

2forwoyne: SIMP

shloob_: jackharlow that's cheap compared to other things that you've gotten her

jackharlow: shloob_ you would take her side because you're scared of her smh

shloob_: jackharlow AND SO ARE YOU! SO WHY YOU JUST CALLING ME OUT?!

quiiso: it's not so much jackharlow is scared, he just values his life and wants to live a long one

jackharlow: quiiso exactly. you get it.

urbanwyatt: jackharlow only thing I get is that you a simp 🤷‍♂️

Liked by jackharlow, saweetie, danivalentine, djdrama, normani, theestallion, urbanwyatt, cardib, and 7,932,760 others

y/ninsta: yall wanna know their names? 👀

jackharlow: y/ninsta what the? WE don't even know their names!

y/ninsta: jackharlow yes I do, me and quiiso discussed last night

saweetie: y/ninsta so you mean to tell me you decided on their names without telling your husband?

y/ninsta: saweetie yes

jackharlow: y/ninsta I swear all you live for is to stress me out quiiso SHOW YOURSELF

quiiso: jackharlow I didn't do anything but give her a milkshake!

jackharlow: quiiso and I don't believe you

urbanwyatt: I thought we were naming them all after me?

jackharlow: urbanwyatt there's three of them

urbanwyatt: jackharlow I have three names. Urban Henry Wyatt.

2forwoyne: urbanwyatt lmaooooo aye yo

saweetie: them titties sitting right 😍

y/ninsta: saweetie and they're sore and they hurt 😭

saweetie: y/ninsta you better tell your husband to fix that for you

lilnasx: OKAY ARE WE REVEALING NAMES OR NOT? I GOT A FLIGHT TO CATCH

druski2funny: one of them is druski jr.

jackharlow: druski2funny over my dead fucking body

dualipa: look at my baby mama! I can't wait to meet my children!

jackharlow: dualipa what will it take on God's green earth for you to stop terrorizing me?!

dualipa: jackharlow one date with the wife

jackharlow: dualipa NO.

dualipa: jackharlow fine. anyway, I hear pregnancy sex hits tens times better. when you get tired of jack's dick, come get this pussy, byeeeee

jackharlow: DUA!

sza: lmaoooo dua has NO shame

lilnasx: NAME REVEAL NEOW!

jackandy/naremyparents: WE WANT NAMES!

jackharlowsource: well don't get shy now

jackharlow: y/ninsta baby you better NOT

y/ninsta: triple threat harlows! it's their nickname given to them by uncle quiiso

urbanwyatt: and all three of their birth certificates will have a variation of my name

jackharlow: urbanwyatt GIVE IT UP ALREADY

claybornharlow: little baby is hereeeeeee

y/ninsta: MY BABY!!

jackharlow: I get her pregnant and all she does is pay my younger brother attention. tired of this shit.

y/ninsta: smush, your jealousy is showing again. besides, you're the only one in the universe that I would let impregnate me.

brysontiller: y/ninsta only because I was busy

saweetie: OOP!!

jackharlow: I cannot fucking stand any of you smh

Liked by y/ninsta, urbanwyatt, danivalentine, saweetie, 2forwoyne, claybornharlow, jackharlowsource, and 5,792,306 others

jackharlow: she tired of me lmaoooo, crazy that my baby is having three of my babies

y/ninsta: jackharlow you been picking on me all day and I'm about to call maggie

jackharlow: I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING

claybornharlow: I told you that we wouldn't be having these problems if we were still together

jackharlow: claybornharlow imma knock your two front teeth out

urbanwyatt: jackharlow since when can your ass fight? that's all y/ninsta

jackharlow: urbanwyatt you know better 👀

urbanwyatt: 👀

2forwoyne: 👀

shloob_: 👀

yungskylark: 👀

nemoachida: 👀

quiiso: 👀

saweetie: what's them eyes for?!? jack you hiding something?

jackharlow: saweetie nope. nothing at all.

jackandy/naremyparents: I fucking told yall that he fought giveon. it was only speculation but that shit HAS to be true

urbandjack24: I second this!

claybornharlow: jackharlow y/ninsta will get you if you lay a hand on me

jackharlow: claybornharlow she has to catch me first since she isn't so fast these days

y/ninsta: jackharlow touch my little baby and I will END YOU. you will not get to see your three spawns born. MARK MY WORDS

jackharlow: y/ninsta oh? you'll end me? wasn't saying that an hour ago when I had you cum repeatedly on my face

y/ninsta: jackharlow just kidding 😊

y/ninsta: jackharlow but don't touch my baby!

saweetie: yall never let up lmaoooo

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, quiiso, danivalentine, djdrama, saweetie, champagnepapi, and 3,783,004 others

y/ninsta: I thought I was the passenger princess 🤨

jackharlow: y/ninsta YOU DROVE ONE TIME! ONE TIME!

sofftcurse: nah why you making my wife drive tho?

urbanwyatt: softtcurse excuse me, your WHAT?

softtcurse: y/ninsta is my wife, everyone knows this

claybornharlow: softtcurse since when?!

jackharlow: all of yall can fuck off smh

y/ninsta: but doesn't my baby look so cute?!? come here so I can kiss you and pinch your cheeks

jackharlow: y/ninsta stoppppp stink 🙈🙈

y/ninsta: AWW is my baby blushing?! like yall my man is so fucking fine. I see why all the cougars be after him. hint: anitta lmaoooooo but that dick is MINE!

saweetie: y/ninsta BITCH SHUT THE FUCK UP! LMAOOOO

jackharlow: y/ninsta you didn't have to add that last part smh

y/ninsta: jackharlow ain't she like 45?

jackharlow: y/ninsta hell if I know, now I'm coming to get my kisses

claybornharlow: y/ninsta me first!

jackharlow: claybornharlow mom should have swallowed you

y/ninsta: JACKMAN THOMAS! NO KISSES FOR YOU! APOLOGIZE!

urbanwyatt: TIME OUT! FLAG ON THE PLAY LMAOOOO

jackharlow: 👀

jackharlow: y/ninsta BUT, WHY?!?!

y/ninsta: jackharlow you know why. apologize to your baby brother NOW.

claybornharlow: jackharlow your wife still loves me more

jackharlow: y/ninsta I'll apologize when he stops terrorizing me

jackharlow: claybornharlow imma need for you to get a girlfriend smh

y/ninsta: claybornharlow it's okay little baby. I'll make you mini sweet potato pies

jackharlow: y/ninsta I WANT SOME TOO

y/ninsta: jackharlow not until you apologize

jackharlow: claybornharlow fuck off

y/ninsta: BABY!

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, danivalentine, saweetie, estgee, champagnepapi, 21savage, neelamthadhani, privategarden, and 4,962,301 others

y/ninsta: bored in the house and I'm in the house bored 🙄 where is my husband so I can give him a lap dance? jackharlow come home already!

jackharlow: throwing it back like that is why your ass is pregnant now, with not one, but three children. stop playing with me because I'll put three more after they're out

y/ninsta: jackharlow THE FUCK YOU NOT!

jackharlow: y/ninsta lemme eat it from the back tho

y/ninsta: jackharlow not the way this back pain is set up. I can't be on all fours.

urbanwyatt: y/ninsta exhibit A above says otherwise

y/ninsta: urbanwyatt you are supposed to be getting me cheese fries

jackharlow: urbanwyatt you better NOT

urbanwyatt: jackharlow too late, already here!

saweetie: AYE FUCK IT UP BESTIE!

y/ninsta: thank you to neelamthadhani for getting me more make up so I can be a bad bitch around the house too. bad bitches get no days off

jackharlow: y/ninsta my baby is a bad bitch anyway, but carry on

y/ninsta: jackharlow don't make me cry. I haven't cried in 6 hours and that's my longest streak

danivalentine: SIX HOURS?!

urbanwyatt: because six hours ago, 2forwoyne drank all the iced tea and she wanted some and of course who gets yelled at?! me and jack because 2fo was nowhere to be found

jackharlow: y/ninsta come sit on my face then

y/ninsta: jackharlow no I'm the size of the titanic

lilnasx: y/ninsta bitch please shut up, the titanic?!

normani: y/ninsta bitch you better scream jack I won't let go until he has your legs shaking. JACK DRAW HER LIKE ONE OF YOUR FRENCH GIRLS!

jackharlow: normani I don't have no fucking french girls, don't get me in trouble lmaooo you know her ass takes shit too literal sometimes smh

urbanwyatt: jack can't draw anyway. have you seen his stick figures?

quiiso: LMAOOOOOO

jackharlow: urbanwyatt OUTTA POCKET!

theestallion: did y/n actually turn down her husband eating her out?

y/ninsta: NO I DID NOT TURN IT DOWN I JUST SAID I WASN'T GOING TO SIT ON HIS FACE BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO PUT ALL MY WEIGHT ON HIM

jackharlow: y/ninsta you act like I give a fuck about that. get your ass upstairs now and wait for me and I'm not fucking playing with you.

dualipa: oh damn. even jackharlow got me hot. SHIT.

y/ninsta: jackharlow YES DADDY, ON MY WAY!

Taglist:

@harlowsbby

@babyharleezy

@hoodharlow

@stefansalvatoresgf

@jackiehollanderr

@primadxna-girl

@dessmxsworld

@cockslutslurper3000

@raelorns21

@variety-fangirl

@gbaabyyyy

@kamorsstuff

@harlowthot

@sinsandsuccubus

@curlyhairclub

@bootlegroach

@haylexo10

@thinkingaboutjharlow

@fluidsentiment

@charli123456789

@moody4world

@yourstrulymayah

@yana4life

@beanbagbitch

@alinaharlow

@carma-fanficaddict

@minaxcarter

@arination99

@xjup1t3r

@venusvinc

@jacksmoviestar

@jackharloww

@midnight-star47

@minkookie95

@inluvwithladybug

@exoticr0ses

@jharlowsangels

@jackierose902109

@jackmansbabymama

@cmalass

@megawhoree

@softtcurse

@sia2raw

@miniaturehideoutmentality

@hoya122

@nattinatalia

@jackslover12

@skyesthebomb

@jackharlows-world

@louisianalady

@fdl305

@automaticpeachsong

@harlowcomehome

@gassyandsassy1

@babygirlwilly

@amethyst09

@harrycanyonmoonn

@toocriticalharlow

@tattered-tales

@sisiking99

@dessxoxsworld

@gillybear17

@jacksdaycare

@iheartharlow

@disaster-rose

@babyvinnie

@evansxchalamet

@chtkmyharlow

@itsyagirljaz

@neon-lights-and-glitter

@awhore4moree

#jack harlow #jack harlow fic #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x black reader #jack harlow instagram au #instagram au #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow fanfiction #jack harlow x you

249 notes · View notes

crushedsweets · 1 month

Text

ANSWERING ASKS PT 4?

ok this is like 30+ asks LOL its mostly stuff about me/my art with a little crp sprinkled in im sorry... ill make a post thats actually answering the crp asks with real answers that arent "ILL DO IT EVENTUALLY I SWEAR" lololol

YOURE BOTH SO SWEET i havent been this passionate about smth in so long so hopefully im here for a while... thank u guys for indulging me. it makes me happy to post LOL

with love pls dont call me that buuuut. ninakate. ticciwork. ninatoby. ticcijack. ninajack. notice how its all in the same group...

hiii i dont plan to anytime soon! IF I WERE TO, cody and rouge are probably 'next in line' to being put in my AU, but i have no plans to actually commit to that

omg ok its funny cuz rn i HAVE ONE but its just me in it cuz im too lazy to organize all the bots and verification and whatnot. im also nervous about making a server cuz of some online occurrences that happened after u sent this HAHA so i'm kinda putting it off... but i reblogged tombs server and im sometimes active in there if u wanna join that one!

ffrhrughagahhhh

no ur right theyre such a power couple. i know we joke about toby being useless bf and clocky being badass gf but they're both really cool together.

I FORGOT I MADE THE TWILIGHT COMMENT LMFAAAOOOOOO I NEED i need. i need toby to find a random twilight shirt at a thrift and snag it for kate.

ME TOOOO its so delightful. i have so much fun playing with them like barbies.. making them kiss n whatever. LMFAOOOO so silly but yk

JEFF STANS ARE SO FUNNYYYYYYYYY i like you guys. laughing jack stans scare me but thats cuz that damn clown scares me... nothing that yall have done. youre just braver than me. LOL

i will not do this...

no literally its really bad. i hold horrible grudges BAHAHA but im working on it. im getting over my purple beef

omg. i listened to it and that was really cool. i like that thank u sm for sharing

IDK WHAT POST UR REFERING TO BUT YOURE RIGHT. LMAOOOOO

IM SORRYYYY im so sorry. i feel like this fandom is so small and most of the fans dont really ship in general so it suuuucks shipping here.. but i love them..

oh my god i need to i keep forgetting. the nina art i jus tposted of her holding th eknife was kinda.. kinda referencing her behaviors..

i do too!!! ive been neglecting them so bad im so sorry..

like the IEPFB tea party scene

I NEVER DID IT ANON IM SO SORRY IM GOING TO HELL

is this a song

i have not! i havent read alot of stories actually... i kinda like doing my own thing with them HAHA

omfg i had a clocknina drawing but i ended up privating but i think i should unprivate it...

ok actually im sorry i just am bad at requests omfg LMFAOO IM SORRY im so focused on nina ... forgive me...

THANK YOUUUU youre very sweet i appreciate you!!! <3

YEAH he's...one of the more tragic people. 100%. all loss

WHAT IS LIUJONJACK LOL WHOS JON??? ALSO LIUOTPS IS FUNNY

wdym ? !

LMFAOOOOO HEY ITS NOT A BAD COMBO THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING A NINAKATE SHIPPER........

THANK YOU CUPCAKE i really like nina.. or my version i gues si dunno.. i like everyone else's nina too. i like this nina we got going on together

ok i keep grouping these together but also making them seperate im so bad at organizing these asks but HAHA I LOVE THEM TOO i swear ill try to get some ticciwork stuff out soon!!! my spring semester is almost over so hopefullyyy..

this is how you know i suck ass cuz this was christmas time and im replying NOW. im so sorry. i initially planned to draw them hanging around a tree but i didnt get around to it then got embarassed and never replied.... but i agree it would have been cute. ha di notfailed. LOL

#asks

22 notes · View notes

onedreamseeker · 25 days

Text

im officially watching episode 1 of the begins youth series! I'm incredibly excited. so this post will just be all of my live reactions for the first episode

BROOO the fire???? That’s a crazy intro

Okay Hwan is Jin’s character

Getting straight into the rich father storyline okayyyy

The actor for Hwan is doing so good already like tell me why I see Jin’s mannerisms in the way he walks and stuff 😭😭😭

The way they’re making it clear that Hwan has trouble connecting to his peers and finds it hard to make friends my baby 🥺

Oooh as gas station worker is this Namjoonie?

Okay and Jooan that’s Taehyung I believe

Yeah they’re setting up the Taehyung/Namjoon friendship immediately

ONG JOOAN ACTS JUST LIKE TAEHYUNG OH MY GOD ITS PERFECT. HES SO SILLY MY NEW SILLY GUY

I must have missed namjoon’s character’s name

What’s my man doing? Looking at home videos of his mom?

oh my god are these two dumbasses gonna break into Hwan’s house?????

No wonder they’re always being chased by police in the MVS 😭😭😭

LMFAO THE NAMJOON/JIN/TAEHYUNG MEETCUTE

HE CALLED THE POLICE SHUTTHRFUCKUP

THEY CAME BACK 😭

LMAOOOOO

Jooan threatening Hwan 😭😭😭 yall are gonna be besties soon stfu

lmao he found the money namjoon dropped

DID JOOAN STEAL HIS BIKE ???? NO NAMJOON DID 😃😃

JOOAN JUST DROP KICKED THIS MAN 😀

Is this how they all get detention????

OH A NEW PERSON JOINS THR FRAY

DOGEON IS NAMJOONS NAME FINALLY

New guy trying to come to Jooan’s defense

Two more people watching the drama 😭

AM I WRONG TITLE SONG WHOOOOOO

Another new person !!!

I need these names and backstories so I can figure out who is who immediately

The detention Classroom!! This is like a dream come true oh my god 😭😭😭

New guy giving me jhope or jimin vibes and the other one giving me yoongi

Cein is that the yoongi character?

Oh my god this guy HAS to be jhope he’s got the smile!

Jeha! THATS TEH JUNGKOOK CHARACTER I THINK HES SO CUTE

The jeha/cein stuff starting already. Which must mean the other little guy must be jimin!

Haru is jimin!!

So Jooan is Taehyung, dogeon is namjoon, Hwan is Jin, jeha is Jungkook, haru is Jimin, cein is Yoongi, and the unnamed guy with The Smile ™ is jhope

Oh my god :( Jooan is so excited to see his dad not drunk :(

Hosu! The jhope character is officially named!

He literally has hobi’s smile oh my god he’s perfect :(

Haru and Hosu!! Oh my god they like to dance together oh my god my heart it’s broken

Haru’s mom when I catch you!! Forcing him not to tell any of his friends about his trauma !!!

HOSU IS LITERALLY HOBI OH MY GOD THE CASTING WAS PERFECT

He just did the jhope head tilt/smile/sigh combo!

Haru and Hosu mean so much to me actually they’re perfect

Oh god Hosu just mentioned the flower areboretum to Haru and the the way his face fell 😭😭😭

Jeha is SO CUTE, he literally perfectly reminds me of baby jungkook These actors STUDIED

Jooan looking for the bike 😭 he’s so sweet he just wants to help his friend 🥺

Hwan get your shit together and make friends with the others

This bike causing so much drama!

Cein my boy bout to get this bike back!! I know that’s right!!!! He’s playing into the scariness to help his new friends he’s sooooo :( my baby

YESSSSSS he got dogeon’s bike back from Hwan and gave Hwan his bike back that’s my man!!!! He gets shit done!!

Now Hwan has to go apologize and give dogeon’s bike back!

This romantic ass music playing during this apology 😭

He gave him back the money :(

They’re making up 😭😭 HWAN AWKWARDLY ASKING DOGEON TO COME EAT EITH HIM

DOGEON HAS JOONS BREAKS EVERYTHING CURSE 🥺

Aww Hwan is gonna join the boys in detention because he knows the fight was his fault too 😩

THEYRE SO CUTE

Wait this is SOOOO GOOD!!!

These are our boys!!! First episode over!! Set up complete!!

I’m ooh we’re setting up the Haru Trauma at the flower arboretum 👀 a little cliff hanger

Final thoughts on episode one:

I really loved this! The actors are PERFECT! And I’m really enjoying the cinematography and dialogue so far! They’re keeping very in line with what we know about the hyyh story! It’s so exciting to see everything from the mvs acted out! And it’s so cool to see more detail of the characters and their relationship with each other!

#begins youth #Rana live reaction #bts universe #bts hyyh

11 notes · View notes

bubblyqueer000 · 1 year

Text

APRIL FOOLS JOKE POST Mondo Owada x Me PART 3!! THE FUCKENING :0

soz I haven't been posting. I'll make an update soon C:

still tho gotta do my yearly april fools day post!!

FUCKING SHIT WIENER COCK DOODLE!! HEY DICK NOSES IT’S BUBZ CHAN AND IM MAD. RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHDFNNJHBNJHBGBHNJHBGVHNHBVGBNBHHB

Okay so like last year that little cock weasel, monocumstain killed my boyfriend, mondo because he was mad he commited a hate crime and fucked me on the tables in the cafeteria, coating them in his dick cheese in the process. UGGGGHH

BUT ACTUALLY I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS REALLY PUNISHED BECAUSE I WAS THE ONE TASKED WITH SCRAPING HIS SMEGMA OFF OF EVERY SURFACE OF THE SCHOOL!!!! >:C

I was in the midst of using a metal spatula to scrape off his dried up mondo butter from under the tables when I felt a horrible pain filling my chest.

“Ow tf” I sayed

“Shut the fuck up” said Kyoto

“No you cunt, my stomach really hurts.”

“Well no shit we’re all like a million years old now and during that whole time mondo was fuckin destroying your organs.” Said toastermi

“…

…

Shit u right.” And then I felt another horrible fucking pain in my tummy!!! “AHHHHHHFHDNDNBDNDJDNDND NO YOU BITCHES IDK WHATS HAPPENING”

“maybe u need a nap c: “ Nina told me

“YOU DONUT SUCKING FUCK WAD HELP ME.”

“DON’T WORRY YALL I GOT THIS!” Said sakura, kicking me as hard as she could in the stomach making my organs squirt out of my ass with a loud shlorp.

“OH SHIT IN THE SINK GET HER TO THE SINK!” Shouted byakuya bc he thought it was my period and he was scared of periods and stuf.

So yea soccer ball carried me over her shoulder into the kitchen and plopped me in the sink where I screamed and farted loudly lmfao. I really hope that no one actually gets turned on by this dear fucking god.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” idk how birth works soz.

So yeah I shitted out a bb.

“What the fuck” Said everyone collectively.

“Goo goo ga ga 😀” He goo goo ga gad

“HOW THE SHIT DID THIS HAPPEN?”

“Because you had tons of unprotected sex with mondo.”

“Oh yeah ur right. Alright well… Idk ummm ill name u mondo after ur dad ig.”

“otay” he said bc that’s how babies talk according to fan fic writers wtf is wrong with you people??

“Acutually you can;t lol” said byakuya smartily. “Bc if u did that everytime you called him that hed think of how u fucked his dad or some shit.”

“Byakuya what the actual fuck. I don’t think you understand the absurdity of what you just said. Not only is that sexualizing my infant son, but it’s also an incredibly perverse interpretation of a healthy relationship based on love and respect, and now that he’s passed us on, it’s all the more insensitive.” I told him and everyone started clapping. I looked at the fuckin kid and thought and thought. “Wait wat was mondo’s brother’s name again?”

“Diarrhea.” Sayd makoto.

“LMAOOOOO k ur names diarrhea.” i told the child.

“K lol.” he said.

“Ermmm… ERRRRMM…. ERRRMEN AOT…… ERMINEM SLIM SHABBY SLIM ANUS….. ERRRRM…” byakuya erms.

“WHAT WANT BUTT FART???” I sowed

“well everyone knows that babies need a mommy and daddy or else thre brains wont work. so im volunteering to be ur rich and morty. fuck wait no. rich baby daddy” he explammmed rickbabydaddily

“??? Tf no!! richie bitches suck” and then I rapped the entirety of piggy pie by icp for everyone but it was a parody that fit the situation like that one mlp web series we all watched as kids that had the parody wreck it ralph op and there was also fuckin evelyn evelyn and confrontation from jekly and hyde parodies ummmm… hold on let me google it. PRINCESS TRIXIE SPARKLE BY MAGPIE PONY.

so I took a break from writing this and taking care of my bastard son to re watch that series and then the first four seasons of mlp and then like all of rainbow dash presents fuck i miss the early days of mlp lmao

So anyways after that I came out of my room and Daiya II was like a teenager because I was watching mlp content for like fifteen years.

“Hewwo mwommy” he said

“Ew why do you still talk like that? Get that shit out of here.”

“Jeez you’re such a bitch.” He told me.

“:0??? >:0! Go to ur room you little shit!”

“NO mom! >:0! YOU go to YOUR room!”

“Wait what.” and then my own son stabbed me. “Ow bitch u stabbed me in the tit.”

“Yea but it’s dedly bc ur like 47893845748398.”

“...”

“SHIT” so yeah I fuckin died.

“You… cunt.” I said and stoped living.

When I woke up I was in hell. And who else was there???

Ur MOM! (sorry if ur mom is actually ded or somethin rip)

BUT ALSO MONDO AND DAIYA OWADA (the first one not my son)???? :0

“Hey cootie ;0” said doodie owada

“MONDO!” I cried running over to him.

“Am I a joke to you?” Daiya asked bc i ignored his dumb ass

“Wassup bbygrl C:” Mondo asked.

“I missed you so much.” I told him.

“Awww”

…

“Kay let’s fuck already.”

“K.”

Our clothes all burned off bc my homophobic relatives tell me that I hell is hot. Then they bent me over. I suckked daiyas dick and took mondos in my ass.

“Glucglucglucglucglucgluc” i said suckn dick.

“Coom” and then I fake my organism.

Soooo yeah were done and were just chillin wit angel hazbin hotel bc it’s hell. BUT IT TURNED OUT THAT DAIYA II WAS THERE BC HE WAS EXECUTED LMFAO

Anyways happy april fools day seeya next year :3

#crosspost #danganronpa #fanfic #trigger happy havoc #ao3 #danganronpa x reader #anime #mondo oowada x reader #mondo owada x reader #archive of our own #mondo owada #mondo x reader #mondo butter #fanfiction

20 notes · View notes

diagonal-queen · 11 months

Text

and now, for some of the many thoughts dia had during the newest episode of bungou stray dogs (seasoned with heavy undertones of ranpo appreciation)

'if they were forced to choose, they would choose atsushi'

based kyouka and lucy

also ango being like 'if i had to fight kyouka and lucy i'd lose immediately' like yes dude. why are you the only one who acknowledges this. fucking fukuchi would lose in a fight against those two

ALSO THEM NOT WANTING TO EVEN MAKE ATSUSHI UNCOMFORTABLE BUT BEING FULLY READY TO JUST BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ANGO LMAOOOOOO SAME GIRLS I'M ONE OF YALL (sorry ango fuckers) KYOUKA AND LUCY SUPERMACY 🛐🛐

THEY ANIMATED THE SIGLAI SCENE SO RIGHT!!! OMG HOHOL SO CUTE his voice actor deserves a trillion dollars for that scene alone also sigma so pretty he's beautiful

fukuzawa dilf fukuzawa dilf fukuzawa dilf fukuzawa dilf fukuzawa dilf fukuzawa dilf fukuzawa dilf fukuzawa dilf fukuzawa dilf fukuzawa dilf fukuzawa dilf fukuzawa dilf fukuzawa dilf fukuzawa dilf fukuzawa dilf

POE AND RANPO WERE READY FOR ALL THIS SHIT. they really said 'they fucked around and now they're finding out' JDAJJKAFHSKHFAKJFA also ranpo i missed hearing your voice so much bby i love you and i missed you please just one chance ranpo just one chance

ALSO dazai calling ranpo the strongest superhuman who exceeds the gifted lmao like be more right my guy he IS the strongest (one chance ranpo please). get fucked fyodor. also him being like 'i'm just here babysitting you to make sure you don't do anything annoying so my friends can fuck shit up' was both parts funny and hot for some reason

ALSO RANPO PARKOURED HIS WAY DOWN FROM THAT FUCKING BUILDING??? ONE CHANCE PLEASE RANPO YOU'RE LITERALLY PERFECT

kunikida getting the pretty treatment this season AS HE SHOULD. mans is sexy and deserves it

also i mentioned this to sewer rat earlier but when jouno bought out the pear and kunikida was like 'you gonna give that to me?' even though he doesn't say it in the manga i was entirely expecting jouno to reply with 'no, you need hands to eat a pear' LMAOOOOO ALSO HIS TURTLE SMILE MADE ME LAUGH SO FUCKING HARD LIKE YOU CAN'T DROP THAT SHIT ON ME IN THE MIDDLE OF A SCENE LIKE THIS BONES T-T

i have to wonder if poe has like an archive of pre-written novels just in case shit like this happens and he needs to transport people somewhere, or if he's deadass able to write 300-page-novels on the fly in a matter of hours. like it seems like it would be the former but the latter just feels like something bsd would pull yk

fukuzawa: LET'S SHUT THIS SHIT DOWN ranpo: proud son moment

ranpo said let's be bisexual for this mugshot (one chance ranpo pls???)

genuinely cannot believe all of this bullfuckery has happened in less than the span of a week

one glimpse into those beautiful jades and minoura knew the agency was entirely innocent. that's just the ranpo effect my friends. (ranpo seriously i'm begging you ONE chance)

oh yeah and tHAT FUCKING OPENING. GRANRODEO SWEEP ANIMATION ON POINT COLOURS EVERYWHERE me likey is what im saying.

that's all for this episode folks- tune in next time as dia loses their shit again...and again...and again...and aga

#dia's daydreams #bsd s5 #im so sorry for this cacophany of unorganised thoughts #i hope someone at least got some enjoyment out of me vomiting my live action thinks onto a tumblr post #seriously though #ranpo #one chance #just one chance #please #i love you

11 notes · View notes

amyyscorner · 7 months

Text

Live reaction: Goosebumps (2023)

Spoilers below the cut

ok emo i hope he dies WAIT IS HE SUPPOSED TO BE RL STINE?? ding dong bitch DONT WALK OUTSIDE JESUS HAVE U NOT SEEN A FUCKING HORROR MOVIE??? mans gon die the doorbell ghost really be trolling LMAO THE CHANDELIER candles. ofc he has candles. sth gon burn HIS NAME IS HAROLD? LMAOOOOO i knew there was gonna be a fire. mans burned i love being right ooooooh pretty introoooo me likey NOT UNHOLY BY SAM SMITH PLEASE I THOUGHT THIS WAS A SHOW FOR LIKE 12+ NAUR Ayo AYO IS THAT HER???? OMG I LOVE THAT HER NOT THE BIKING ACCIDENT LMAOOOOO i love lucas already PLEASE NOT MORE UNHOLY I AM GIGGLING oooh its the same school as the guy who died harold isaiah is the jock lucas is the nerd/idiot margot is the girl thats not like the others NOT HER READING AT THE EVENT PLS HARRY STYLES WONT PICK U BESTIE PLS THE POOR GUY LEAVE HIM ALONE D: isabella seems like the girl who is actually chill and just wants to do her thing AYO SAM BE CUTE im in love with james i need james in my life james is me oh so jocks gf is an insta popular girl "im literally super nice" "so why am i being trolled?" maybe bc u called it being trolled jock who doesn't get good grades? i hope they get less...two dimensional like give the jock an actual problem maybe he has adhd or a learning disability so he focused on physical activity now who tf is glasses nathan bratt BEN HOLY SHIT U ARE FATHER PARENT ok so nathan is the lil nerdy weird adult the parents were grieving their kid wtf dude??? nathan has killer vibes hes gon die or at least get hurt HE GOT HURT LMAOOOOO yeah nah he deserved that ben tho? king. love him NOT THE BLOOD KEY LMAOOOOOO OH IS BEN JOCKS DAD? oh baby :( now he is too scared to tell them he won't be playing in the game bc there is no way he will be able to get that A THEYRE TALKING IN THAT IDIGAH LANGUAGE margot is not for me but she seems like a good friend to him ayo you know but hamilton seems like helpful dont help him cheat just help him study yeah nah thats so dumb yall deseve to fail trust me i can say it bc i used to cheat in this one class HOW OBVIOUS CAN U BE JESUS CHRIST okay so margot likes isaiah but he is dating allison so far im not as invested as i could be tbh not the murder hourse being the new place jesus this is so stupid all of you deserve to die all of you so fucking dumb like i get the rush of it. i've been in an abandoned psych clinic before a few years before it burnt down but this? idk besties, you should know this is dumb thor he is obviously thor he has a blonde wig and a hammer actual stupid people dont go to the basement please YES IT IS HAUNTED YES IT MAKES FOR A GOOD PARTY UNTIL EVERYONE DIES BESTIES so far i hate the main characters dont go down there dont go to the basement dont walk TO THE DOOR THAT MAGICALLY OPENED TO THE BASEMENT WHERE A DUDE DIED "i bet the fuse box is down there" - okay video game main character oh okay so allison knows she likes him and is insanely jealous girl why are you such a bitch to her?? she just didn't know to be late to parties wtf fuck them yes walk down the creepy stairs i hope u get hurt for being such an asshole cause wtf stop exploring and just find the fuse box ur not a video game there r no secrets to find good attempt at the jumpscare. unfortunately not random enough oh no the ghost door to the ghost basement closed how unexpected i'm so surprised wow this was so surprising omg hes fine he will walk up and scare you guys SEE i knew it SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE

okay we finished the first half of the ep 2nd half reaction coming soon

2 notes · View notes

crowning-art · 1 year

Text

TGCF SPOILERS

-------------------------------------------------------------

ok, ok Ok OK

OK I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY FOR TODAY'S READ OH MY GOD WHAT IN THE ABSOLUTE HELL WHAT EVEN

ok no, let's get through this calmly EFNOENFOEINF I DUNNO HOW I"LL DO THAT BUT OK

YALL NO WAY NO WAY

NO FREAKING WAY

HE DID IT!!! THE RED STEING OF FATE!! MY MAN'S NOT ONLY PULLED UP THE STRING, BUT TIED IT HIMSELF AROUND XIE LIAN'S FINGER

I AM SKREICHING RJFNFJF UGH I CANT EVEN SPELL IM LOSING MY MIND RN

On the third finger of his left hand was a very thin red string, and it was Hua Cheng who had personally tied it on him. This red string also extended out, long and ceaselessly connecting with the red string knotted around Hua Cheng’s finger.

Hua Cheng raised his own hand and showed him the tiny red butterfly knot that was now identical on both their fingers. He smiled.

“Now we’re joined together.

HE TOOK FATE IN HIS OWN HANDS AND CHOSE HIS OWN SOULMATE OH MY GOD DJXJXJCJXJNC

But then, to crush my spirits....

This string won’t break, and won’t grow shorter. If the string doesn’t break, then it means the person on the other end is alright. Unless the person is no more, otherwise, this string will for sure lead to the other.”

“What do you mean ‘no more’?” Xie Lian asked.

“Dead, or dissipated,” Hua Cheng explained

I dunno why but I don't like the implications of this....Hua Cheng MY BOI MY PAL I SAW FANART OF YOU BECOMING A LITTLE GHOST OR SMT I DUNNO U BETTER NOT BREAK THIS STRING DONT U DARE MAKE THIS FORSHADOWING

Heheheh live reaction of me reading this section:

Just then, a hand suddenly stretched out, seizing his wrist without fault. Xie Lian was alarmed.

“WHO?!”

The moment he opened his mouth it was filled with a mouthful of mud, and he spat it out miserably. As for that hand, it clutched him and pulled, pulling him into someone’s arms, a familiar voice coming from above his head.

“Gege, it’s me!”

Hearing that voice, Xie Lian’s entire person relaxed. He hugged the other tightly, blurting,

“…Thank goodness, the red string didn’t break. I really did find you!”

Hua Cheng also embraced him back tightly, speaking with conviction, “It didn’t break! I’ve found you too.”

‐-------------

Ok FUN TIMES ARE OVER NOW GOODBYE CUTESY STUFF WELCOME DREADFUL AND TRAGIC STUFF

Me reading Yin Yu and Qi Ying's story:

So first of all, BABY QI YING IS SO DAMN CUTE?? AND FOR WHAT????? all like YA LETS FIGHT!! and he's raising his itty bitty cutie patootie little fists and he's acc so adorable oh my god

Yin Yu took a look at the child sitting on the ground, and he crouched down. Before he even opened his mouth, this little child scooped a handful of mud and threw it at his face, his expression still excited.

Ok, this line deserves a whole essay

There must be “fanaticism” towards something before one can achieve a state of “godly”.

Like that absolute truth of the matter?? The obsession one has with anything makes them go into such nitty gritty details and observe patterns that others would overlook simply on account of FANATICISM, yknow? And it's so explicitly seen in everything from master chefs to world renowned artists to the most brilliant of scientists. Truly to be a master, you must have a madness and obsession for the craft first.

Truly one of my favorite lines in the book so far

Haha when I read this part, I had a mental image of Xie Lian and Hua Cheng sitting in a theater eating popcorn and Xie Lian is like ohhhhhh can we watch this part too lmao

Watching up to this point, Xie Lian commented, “People really shouldn’t joke lightly.”

“Indeed,” Hua Cheng said. “Half a year later when Quan Yizhen actually ascends, he won’t find it so funny anymore.”

“Can we watch that part too?” Xie Lian asked.

“We can. Hold on,” Hua Cheng replied.

This was kinda cute but I guess knowing everything now, just kinda sad...

Xie Lian had also heard that Yin Yu, as shixiong, would always gift Quan Yizhen a present on his birthdays.

ABSOLUTE MOOD JIAN YU LMAOOOOO

He called out to Jian Yu, “Help me find something, quick, something that can temporarily be used as a gift.”

Jian Yu grabbed a rag cloth and threw it onto the ground. He stomped at it twice before saying hatefully, “Give this to him."

Ok but I'm seeing such a contrasting yet parallel relationship between beefleaf and Qi Ying and Yin Yu. I will probably talk about that more next time because it's a lot lol but like this is such an excellent example of it (that I will explain later lmao)

Yin Yu’s smile became stiffer. What he couldn’t take on, Quan Yizhen took on so effortlessly.

This was very much like a situation where you just couldn’t win over a girl you loved, and she ignored you completely, but when she ran into the arms of someone else in tears, this someone else couldn’t even be bothered to spare her a look and instead turned around to tell you how she was only average, nothing to be amazed by. Truly, what a bitter feeling.

God yes I truly understood exactly how Xie Lian felt because it was so agonizing and awkward to watch everything go down between the oblivious Qi Ying and the slowly maddening Yin Yu....

And like the part where he tells him GO DIE and everything that happened after and the instant regret and broken feeling Yin Yu went through and just he gave and gave and gave and gave and got nothing while Qi Ying got everything and more and frustration of watching him act like nothing happened because suddenly it makes YOU look like you're the jerk and that youre just being over dramatic and the absolute hate that started festering simply on account of outside influence from the other disciples and later on, the heavenly court (or maybe outside influence was just an excuse and the problem lay dormant within) and to have your hubris and jealousy and pride ruin what was good or so you thought and suddenly you go back and think about all the past memories and it's like wait, was it ever good a-

Ok I'll stop lol

Quan Yizhen was still very confused. He looked back and saw Yin Yu sitting on the ground, so he crawled to stand up, seeming to want to help him up. Seeing that completely oblivious face matched with a background of his smashed divine palace, Yin Yu was still silent but his face was slowly contorting.

Quan Yizhen didn’t know what transpired at all, and asked, “Shixiong, what are you doing?”

“…”

It was like Yin Yu suddenly lost all sanity. He puffed an abrupt laugh, then shouted with eyes brimming red:

“GO DIE!”

I just... really feel for both parties, yknow? And back to classic statement I keep saying, who can u even blame? Whose at fault? Nothing is black and white here, it never was and never will be....

ALSO

I called it

I CALLED IT

I CALLED IT AND I FINALLY GOT SMT RIGHT FOR ONCE AND IM SO HAPPY BUT SO CONFUSED BUT SO HAPPY CUZ I GOT IT RIGHT HAHA I KNEW WE WOULD SEE MORE XIANLE PEEPS DJJXJC

He twitched his lips and muttered without a sound, “Guoshi?!”

The person on the other side of the stone wall had the exact same voice as the esteemed master who once taught him in the Kingdom of Xianle.

But also....WTF???? UMMM WHY IS HE HERE??? WHATS GOING ON???? IS MY WUYONG THEORY CORRECT??? I DONT EVEN KNOW WHICH ONE BUT IS IT CORRECT??? CUZ LIKE JUN W-

(Fineeee i won't speak of Jun Wu again, but like alsooooo he's sooooo a part of something I can't help it and I just don't know what it is AND ITS BOTHERING ME BEYOND WORDS)

#tian guan ci fu #tgcf spoilers #tgcf #heaven's official blessings spoilers #hua cheng #xie lian #heaven’s official blessings #tgcf journey #yin yu #quan yizhen #ch 158-162

5 notes · View notes

ratfetish · 4 months

Text

posted on r3ddit asking for advice bc my bf pushes me away when he’s going through stuff. And everyone called him a man child and I had to delete the post 💀 they’re kinda right like he isn’t a little dainty baby or anything irl but to me he’s special and sweet…. Maybe they’re right lmaooooo

Idk I’m torn. Like I know he’s depressed and doesn’t like talking about his feelings. But at the same time it sucks that I’m getting punished (no intimacy, cold shoulder, etc) for months at a time until I beg him to talk to me.

And it’s not like we never talk about our feelings. I’ve encouraged him from day 1 to be so honest and open with me, but I can’t just change who he is….

Idk yall. After 4 years of this and now months without sex I’m starting to get burnt out.

#hamspeaks

0 notes

significantfoliage · 2 years

Text

911 S2 e14, at 9am cause my body is being annoying:

- FUCKING KONDO METHOD, CHIM YOU LEGEND

- has Maddie been seeing a therapist this whole time?? Has it been mentioned? Good for her but kinda wish we'd ever seen that

- Bobby I don't know what a sucking chest wound is, I doubt these kids know

- hey uh. How the Fuck are these events leading up to what looks like a gas main explosion?? Oh wait, and if Maddie is going back to work and the 911 number is down, does that mean that the call center got blown up

- lolllll love this kid being so participatory. Framing it as sucking up is great but I'm sure it's also part of paying one main actor lol

- Buck and Eddie herding children is adorable

- Harrrrrryyyyy don't give your dad a complex!!

- okay glad the call center didn't blow up or something!! But uhhhh dang there went the. Everything. Is this gonna be like a pointed crisis inspired by Verizon choking fire fighter signals and service during wildfire fighting a couple years ago?

- why is the FBI here???

- I'm once again saying I Hate BYSTANDERS.

- why does Maddie know there's 3 San Vicentes and this other woman doesn't?

- 38 years old is a geriatric pregnancy????

- STOP CLAPPING WHY ARE YALL EVEN HERE

- maybe Sonia isn't okay cause that baby is Too Big. Yes it's because having an actual new born in a show isn't feasible. Oh dang she died shit.

- ARE YOU SHITTING ME HOW, HOW DID SHE GET A PULSE AFTER 15 MINUTES???? DAMN THAT WAS A MIRACLE BUCKS RIGHT

- okay Maddie's supervisor/trainer being very gay coded has grown on me. I love him now

- I literally think these FBI people are the terrorists/hackers that caused the outage, I hate their vibes

- oh noooo Michael noooo don't be weird about this 😭

- I can't believe I'm wishing for Athena to come and be a mediator!!! She typically escalates a situation but bruh these are her men

- petition for Athena's family to stop dragging Michael's VERY TRAGIC BACKSTORY into like. Day to day arguments.

- oh hey! We're finally back to the opener!

- Omgggggg, Tommy from Chim's backstory!!!!

- bruh the fucking ladder truck broke??? For real??????

- you've gotta be shitting me, in what world does a gutter pipe hold but the fire ladder doesn't

- Eddie why don't you have a mask or something on

- lol poor Buck doesn't get to do a cool rescue maneuver, just Eddie

- genuinely dismayed Chim and the other crew didn't call in about the impending deluge

- chim being the miracle 🥺🤩 yes he is I love him!!!

- damn these FBI agents just. Wasted their whole day. How was step one for the 911 center not checking the power????

- the eldest daughter is played by a girl who is definitely older than first homecoming age but she does a great job + child labor laws and rights so whatever

- lolllll the suck up waffles, good luck Harry!!!

- thank God Michaels gonna be an adult finally

- okay okay. So apparently there's season parts A and B. So is this B? And is it's theme "hey emergency services is broke"

- this is even a good conversation! Good job Michael and Bobby!

- OH NOOOOO MICHAEL AND GLENN BROKE UP!!! GLENN BARELY EVEN GOT TO BE IN THE SHOW!!

- Bobby you are Buck's father, accept it

- oh noooooo, they're talking about the weather!!! That's not terrible but they had such a good vibe before Doug nuked everything 😭

- damn and Buck was right AGAIN!! She does need to move out!!

- I love how lazy they're getting with Chim's rebar scar, it's literally just a red X now lmaooooo

- 😭😭😭 I'm genuinely sad they're not gonna get their vibe back, like it makes sense but they were So Precious rip

#911 #911 fox #signi watches

1 note · View note

boy-above · 4 years

Text

thinkin about that person who told me to go outside because i said not to call autistic people freaks

#it happened a while ago but i thought about it today and now im angry lmaooooo #so many ppl on this website hate autistic people #please for the love of god examine why you hate harmless people who you just think are ‘weird’ so much #any autistic person can tell you that a lot of people who hate us dont even realize we’re autistic. they just think we’re too weird #and thus deserving of ridicule #yall mock autistic people all the time. and then act like we’re ridiculous for calling you ableist. and im really fucking tired of it #marshal gets harshal

3 notes · View notes

heavyhitterheaux · 2 years

Text

Back To The Way They Were

First Lady of Private Garden Fic

(Pairs with Lose You to Love Me)

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, druski2funny, saweetie, mortirolo, danivalentine, cozane, and 3,459,182 others

y/ninsta: classy ratchet bitch, real trendsetter 😘💖

lilnasx: ma'am PLEASE GET YOUR FOOT OFF MY MUTHAFUCKIN NECK 😍😍😍😍

saweetie: got DAMN you ate this shit UP!

urbanwyatt: 😍😍😍

softtcurse: you looking amazing 😍

2forwoyne: softtcurse I- never mind

softtcurse: 2forwoyne ???

quiiso: not the time for that at all. moving on. First Lady looks amazing

urbanwyattsource: uhhh what is all that about?!

jackharlowsource: urbanwyattsource I wanna know too. I though her and Yasmin were cool?

urbandjack24: apparently not and someone needs to spill the tea

jackandy/naremyparents: how are we supposed to spill it if no one knows but them? and they aren’t about to say anything

jackandy/naremyparents: jackharlow look at how pretty your wife is! I'll marry her if you drop the ball and mess up

claybornharlow: jackandy/naremyparents get in line 😫

danivalentine: CLAYBORN!

claybornharlow: danivalentine yes? 😌

druski2funny: y/ninsta I thought we were going on our date?

jackharlow: druski2funny are you lost?

druski2funny: jackharlow 👀 oh um didn't realize I'd be running into you here

jackharlow: druski2funny 🤨

druski2funny: jackharlow I'll see myself out

jackharlow: druski2funny you do that and take claybornharlow and dualipa with you because I know her ass is on here lurking 🙄

dualipa: jackharlow not you calling me out when I'm trying to be discrete

jackharlow: dualipa you and discreet in the same sentence? Try again

jackharlow: y/ninsta you look gorgeous baby 😍

y/ninsta: jackharlow thank you smush, love you 💕

jackharlow: love you more ❤️

jackharlowsource: oh? did our parents make up? What's happening?

allthingsy/n: jackharlowsource she was at the GQ dinner the other night with him 👀

urbandjack24: finally because my heart cannot take this shit no more

jackandy/naremyparents: jackharlow y/ninsta I am putting in a formal request for a joint tour and a joint album in the future 👀

jackharlowsource: jackandy/naremyparents they would EAT! 😭😭😭

mortirolo: oh I see he’s not acting outta pocket like last time

danivalentine: Nicole, not now!

mortirolo: dainvalentine I didn’t even do anything!

urbandjack24: I honestly don’t think Nicole likes Jack 😭

mortirolo: urbandjack24 of course I do!

druski2funny: mortirolo God is watching, please stop lying on Beyonce’s internet

mortirolo: druski2funny I AM NOT LYING

2forwoyne: mortirolo all of PG begs to differ lmao

saweetie: mortirolo now Nicole...... lmaooooo

jackharlow: I need to start a support group for people who have been terrorized by her, Nicole’s victims anonymous

danivalentine: jackharlow PLEASEEEEEEEE 😭

quiiso: jackharlow you’re definitely the president lmao

shloob_: jackharlow can it be combined? Nicole and FL’s victims anonymous

y/ninsta: NOW WHY AM I IN IT?!

acepro: y/ninsta we all know shloob is scared of you lmao

shloob_: I WILL SAY THIS UNTIL I DIE, YALL ARE FUCKING STUPID IF YALL AREN’T

y/ninsta: I don’t even be doing anything! I rap and fuck my husband? Likeeee that’s literally it?

urbanwyatt: here yall fucking go 🙄

jackharlow: y/ninsta and you do it so well. them thighs are calling my name 😍

y/ninsta: jackharlow something else is calling your name too 👀

claybornharlow: CUT THE SHIT

jackharlow: claybornharlow no.

jackharlow: y/ninsta you do be terrorizing Urban, baby girl....

y/ninsta: jackharlow I DO NOT! urbanwyatt you better get in here and defend me

urbanwyatt: y/ninsta defend you from what exactly? I see no lies

y/ninsta: urbanwyatt oh okay wow. consider yourself evicted.

urbanwyatt: y/ninsta how am I getting evicted if I’m not even living with you right now?

jackharlowsource: oh? URBAN MOVED OUT?!?!

urbanwyatt: jackharlowsource I planned on going back the week of her birthday but she’s acting outta pocket right now in front of company

y/ninsta: urbanwyatt don’t bring your ass back once you get hungry and don’t bring your ass back at all. that ramen can only hold you over for so long.

danivalentine: y/ninsta girl please. you can’t live without your husband and you can’t live without your best friend. urbanwyatt she’ll have the door unlocked for you and accept you with open arms

y/ninsta: danivalentine you ain’t have to call me out like that. I know I’m a simp for PG. 🙄

2forwoyne: yesss more food for us!

y/ninsta: 2forwoyne don’t get excited. I still remember your ass eating my entire pan of cheesecake that was FOR NICOLE!

mortirolo: 2forwoyne you on my list now. watch your back

jackharlow: 2forwoyne we’re taking new members for our group every week 😭😭😭

2forwoyne: jackharlow I think I’m going to need the premium subscription 😭

claybornharlow: y/ninsta gorgeous as always 😍

jackharlow: claybornharlow I thought I told druski2funny to exit to the left and take you with him?

claybornharlow: jackharlow I’m her baby, she’s always going to want me around 🥰

jackharlow: y/ninsta get him before I do

y/ninsta: jackharlow isn’t he YOUR brother? And you better not touch a hair on my baby’s head!

jackharlow: y/ninsta EXCUSE ME WHAT?!

y/ninsta: claybornharlow I’m sorry you had to be a witness to him acting outta pocket

jackharlow: y/ninsta the only people acting outta pocket is the two of you! and mortirolo

mortirolo: jackharlow watch it curly 😡

jackharlow: mortirolo see? that’s why I need the support group

y/ninsta: jackharlow you are so dramatic sometimes smush lmao

jackharlow: y/ninsta oh? dramatic? me? how about you the other night acting as if I was trying to kill you as if you were running away from this dick?

y/ninsta: jackharlow I plead the fifth

jackharlow: y/ninsta mm hmm. I knew that would shut your ass up

y/ninsta: jackharlow still talking smush

jackharlow: y/ninsta wait until your break from tour....

theestallion: jackharlow oh?

normani: can’t wait for the group chat about that one!

druski2funny: jackharlow I get to watch right?

dualipa: if druski2funny gets to watch, so do I

jackharlow: druski2funny dualipa consider this me uninviting you both to friendsgiving

lilnasx: lmaoooooooo more food for meeeee

druski2funny: jackharlow hold on now! I have an important role

lilnasx: druski2funny you’re bringing the drinks because we know your ass can’t cook, your job is not that important

sza: I AM SCREAMINGGGGGGG 😭

dualipa: y/ninsta if jackharlow messes up.... you know where to find me

jackharlow: dualipa nobody will be able to find you once I’m done with you. CUT THE FUCKING SHIT NEOW

dualipa: jackharlow always so violent smh

jackharlow: dualipa I still have my bb gun. don’t test me.

claybornharlow: oh! you know what I just thought of? jackharlow and y/ninsta??

jackharlow: claybornharlow whatever it is, you better not say it

y/ninsta: claybornharlow if you say it, I’m not making your birthday cake this year

claybornharlow: jackharlow y/ninsta the senior prank the two of you pulled with the rest of PG

y/ninsta: claybornharlow DO NOT FINISH THAT FUCKING SENTENCE

jackharlow: claybornharlow KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT

claybornharlow: bubble wrap. elevator music, and selling a house. kbye.

saweetie: claybornharlow GET BACK HERE AND EXPLAIN!

y/ninsta: claybornharlow count your days

jackharlow: y/ninsta forget days. his ass has MINUTES

jackandy/naremyparents: so happy that these two are back to the way they were before 🥰

Taglist:

@harlowsbby

@babyharleezy

@hoodharlow

@stefansalvatoresgf

@jackiehollanderr

@primadxna-girl

@dessmxsworld

@cockslutslurper3000

@raelorns21

@variety-fangirl

@gbaabyyyy

@kamorsstuff

@harlowthot

@sinsandsuccubus

@curlyhairclub

@bootlegroach

@haylexo10

@thinkingaboutjharlow

@fluidsentiment

@charli123456789

@moody4world

@yourstrulymayah

@yana4life

@beanbagbitch

@alinaharlow

@carma-fanficaddict

@minaxcarter

@arination99

@xjup1t3r

@venusvinc

@jacksmoviestar

@jackharloww

@midnight-star47

@minkookie95

@inluvwithladybug

@tynesharandolph8633-blog

@exoticr0ses

@jharlowsangels

@jackierose902109

@jackmansbabymama

@cmalass

@megawhoree

@softtcurse

@sia2raw

@miniaturehideoutmentality

@hoya122

@nattinatalia

@jackslover12

@skyesthebomb

@jackharlows-world

@louisianalady

@fdl305

@automaticpeachsong

@harlowcomehome

@gassyandsassy1

@babygirlwilly

@amethyst09

@harrycanyonmoonn

@toocriticalharlow

@liv2sworld

@tattered-tales

@sisiking99

@dessxoxsworld

@gillybear17

@jacksdaycare

@iheartharlow

@disaster-rose

@babyvinnie

#jack harlow #jack harlow fic #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow instagram au #instagram au #jack harlow x black reader #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow x you

255 notes · View notes

zouisalmightie · 6 years

Text

can you believe that in the year of our lord 2018 people still unhinge their jaws to talk shit about zayn..... like imagine having literally nothing else to do with your whole life.

#like he quit the band so ehay #yall really out here talkin shit fuz he said he hated being in a band where none of his ideas got put out cuz they voted on it and so he had #to sing songs he wasnt down with anf be around fans who literally call him a terrorist and a druggie and whatever else nasty shit #can you imagine that #saying him talking about his anxoety and earing disorder wasfor airtime when he mentioned it once and has every right to talk about his issu #like miss me with that corney shit #i love unfollowing nasty people who jisy shit on zayn cuz they fave has one good song lmaooooo #talkin bout MoM was a flop bitch where?!!!? im so— mmmmh let me not #this is full of typos but idc im so angry #like a fuckin ***** blog has the audacity ahahaha

4 notes · View notes

suguruverse · 3 years

Note

OKAY I HAVE AN IDEA! can you do a scenario with tsukishima, yamaguchi, kageyama, and kuroo where their gf is wearing a tank top and you can like see her cleavage? like she grabs something and his face just accidentally goes right between her tits LMAOOOOO

✿ haikyuu boys when their gf’s tiddies accidentally get in their face

includes - tsukishima kei, yamaguchi tadashi, kageyama tobio

a/n - OMG THIS REMINDED ME OF THAT ONE OHSHC SCENE WITH HIKARU AND HARUHI SO I HAD TO WRITE THIS!! also my new character limit of hcs is 3 so you’re more than welcome to request again with kuroo!! thank you for understanding <33

↳ TSUKISHIMA KEI

- poor bby wants to act like it doesn’t phase him but he’s secretly so flustered

- you were lying on his chest, cuddling while watching a movie

- you noticed your boyfriend’s small snores from above you and got a little upset

- i mean y’all were only like 30 mins into the movie tf

- but you noticed how peaceful his face was

- and the small smile that appeared on his face when you gently brushed your fingers against his face made your heart wanna burst

- his glasses were slowly falling off of his face so you decided to be a good gf and take it off for him

- so that’s what you did, trying not to accidentally wake him up

- you folded up his glasses and moved slightly to try put them on the small table next to the couch and behind your bfs head

- but in order to do that, you would have to move over him

- i feel like tsukishima is a really light sleeper so when you started moving, he wasn’t really awake, just super super groggy

- so what he wasn’t expecting, was for your tits to be squashing his face, first thing when he wakes up

- i mean he wasn’t complaining (yes he was), but he was more confused than anything

- you almost winced in pain with how roughly your boyfriend pushed you off of him

- you were about to yell at him until you saw the huge blush on his face

“dammit y/n what are you doing, if you’re trying to seduce i don’t think this is the right way to do it”

“babe, what do you mean seduce you? i was trying to put your glasses away because you were falling asleep?”

“well did you have to do it while your tits were in my face?”

“wait i’m so confused, are you actually upset at me?”

“well no”

“so you liked it”

“pfft...no?”

- well just because he liked it, doesn’t mean he didn’t tease you about it for the next month

- he also apologised for pushing you

↳ YAMAGUCHI TADASHI

- okay so what if you were a klutz, you’ve only broke like 3 vases?

- whatever, either way, your beautiful and kind boyfriend thought it was adorable

- anyways, you were at home, trying *emphasis on trying* to cook a nice meal for your boyfriend for dinner

- yamaguchi was currently at work and therefore is not there to help if anything *everything* goes wrong

- yamaguchi loves you more than anything, no matter how many plates or cups you end up breaking, he’s always there to leave a tender kiss on your forehead and reassure you that everything was going to be okay

- but unfortunately for you, today was just not your day

- while you were at the stove, cooking up some food. you failed to notice the overflowing sink behind you that was just spilling water everywhere like it was no ones business

- it wasn’t until the water reached your feet that you realised the tap still running with water and soap filling up the sink

- in a panic, you tried to grab as many paper towels as you can and turned of the sink

- however it seemed like the world was turned against you when the ringing of the fire alarm, making your already huge mess into a bigger one

- you frantically turned off the stove and opened all the windows

- in that moment, yamaguchi had just entered your shared apartment, shock evident in his face and he saw water and suds running down the cabinets, you basically climbing over the kitchen counters, trying to open the windows and smoke that quickly filled his nose

- in a daze. yamaguchi just looked at you in horror as you noticed his presence at the entrance of the kitchen

- excited to see your boyfriend after 12 long hours, you ran up to him, seeking his comfort and warmth

- but what you failed to realise was the water still on the tiles, after you abandoned the spillage to opened the windows

- and yes, you fell

- and yes, it was into your boyfriends arms

- and no, he was not prepared for you to fall into his arms so yall fell to the ground together

- it took a little while for you to process the past 5 seconds and it wasn’t until you heard your boyfriends muffled yells did you realise that you tits were suffocating him

“mmhmm... MMMM.. tits...off...face”

- you quickly climbed off of him and sat beside him as he tried to catch his breathe

- a strap of your tank top had fallen off in the process of your falling face first into your boyfriend

- combined with the adorable guilty look you had on your face, yamaguchi couldn’t help but become a blushing mess, covering his face with his hands, acting as if you you couldn’t see him

“baby as much as i love your body, you suddenly doing that kind of thing so suddenly, and without telling me, is very much uncalled for”

- you knew your boyfriend was flustered, so what’s more fun than teasing him about it

“i’m sorry yams, it was an accident, did you not like it?”

“like what?”

“my tits in your face”

“Y/N YOU CAN’T JUST SAY IT OUT LOUD LIKE THAT”

“is that no?”

“i-...no”

“well well well, i didn’t know that my boyfriend was a perv”

“y/n, stop it, plus you need to clean up this mess, and i’m not helping you this time, i’m gonna go take a shower”

“can i joi-”

“no. clean”

- he was lying he totally help you clean after his shower

- he even made dinner for you both

- it was also decided that he will do all the cooking in the house

↳ KAGEYAMA TOBIO

- it was right after they lost against aoba johsai and you were just trying to comfort your dear boyfriend, kageyama

- you arrived at his house with a bag full of his favourite snacks, drinks and some meat buns

- you rang the doorbell, but there was no answer

- so you being you, just decided to come in the house

- the entire house was dark which made you wonder if your boyfriend was even home

- you entered his room to find him watching his game with aoba johsai on his phone, in bed

“babe? babe? tobio? you there?”

- he continued to watch the game as you set down the bag of snack beside his bag

- you sat next to his figure, watching him as he silently critiqued his performance from the day before

- even after feeling your weight on the other side of his bed didn’t phase him

- you decided to get into bed with him, not wanting to bother him too much while he was focused

- you went on your phone for 30 minutes before you decided to take a little nap, facing your boyfriends back

- kageyama released a huge sigh as he finished the video of the match and turned around to the other side, to avoid stiff muscles

- but what he didn’t expect when he turned around, was to be squashed into your tits

- he stayed there for a solid minute, his brain short-circuiting

his brain:

“ what is this”

“am i dreaming”

“did i die”

“these kind of feel like boobs”

- and with that he immediately got up, stressing about the possibility of his face being in the tits of a girl that isn’t you

- but when he sees your resting face, he instantly relaxes but till has a slight blush on his cheeks

- he lays back down next to you, praying that he didn’t startle you until your voice called out to him

“did ya enjoy that tobio, you stayed there for a while?”

- it was almost cruel, the way you tease your swkward boyfriend

“w-what do you mean, i didn’t do anything”‘

“so you mean you weren’t the one who stayed between my tits for like 5 minutes?”

“I WAS JUST SURPRISED, THAT’S ALL, I DIDN’T MEAN TO”

“its okay tobio, i didn’t mind”

“o-oh. you didn’t? your not mad?”

“mhm, your reaction was worth it”

“HEY ITS NOT FUNNY, I WAS SCARED”

“of tits?”

“no i got scared because i thought it might have been some stranger that broke into my house trying to seduce me”

“tobio what?”

“ugh whatever, shut up, now come cuddle me”

“needy aren’t ya tobio”

“SHUT UP”

1K notes · View notes