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#literally the franchise in a nutshell
basketcat · 2 years
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i love yugioh
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blackswaneuroparedux · 9 months
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Anonymous ask: What do you think of the new Indiana Jones movie? And of Phoebe Waller-Bridge?
In a nutshell: From start to finish ‘Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny’ is watching Indiana Jones being a broken-down shell of a once great legacy character who has to be saved by the perfect younger and snarky but stereotypical ’Strong Independent Woman’ that passes for women characters in popcorn movies today.
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I went in to this film with conflicted feelings. On the one hand I was genuinely excited to see this new Indiana Jones movie because it’s Indiana Jones. Period. Yet, on the other hand I feared how badly Lucasfilm, under Kathleen Kennedy’s insipid woke inspired CEO studio direction, was going to further tarnish not just a screen legend but the legacy of both George Lucas and Steven Spielberg. The cultural damage she has done to such a beloved franchise as the Star Wars universe in the name of progressive woke ideology is criminal. The troubled production history behind this film and its massive $300 million budget (by some estimates) meant Disney had a lot riding on it, especially with the future of Kathleen Kennedy on the line too as she was hands on with this film.
To me the Indiana Jones movies (well, the first three anyway, the less we say about ‘Kingdom of the Crystal Skull’ the better) were an important part of my childhood. I fell in love with the character instantly. Watching ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’ (first on DVD in my boarding school dorm with other giggly girls and later on the big screen at a local arts cinema retrospective on Harrison Ford’s stellar career) just blew me away. 
As a girl I wanted to be an archaeologist and have high falutin’ adventures; I even volunteered in digs in Pakistan and India (the Indus civilisation) as well as museum work in China as a teen growing up in those countries and discovering the methodical and patient but back breaking reality of what archaeology really was. But that didn’t dampen my spirit. Just once I wanted to echo Dr. Jones, ‘This belongs in a museum!’ But I happily settled for studying Classics instead and enjoyed studying classical archaeology on the side.
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I couldn’t quite make sense why Indiana Jones resonated with me more than any other action hero on the screen until much later in life. Looking like Harrison Ford certainly helps. But it’s more than that. I’ve written this elsewhere but it’s worth repeating here.
‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’ is considered an inspiration for so many action films yet there’s a very odd aspect to the film that’s rather unique and rarely noticed by its critics and fans. It’s an element that, once spotted, is difficult to forget, and is perhaps inspiring for times like the one in which we currently live, when there are so many challenges to get through. Typically in action films, the hero faces an array of obstacles and setbacks, but largely solves one problem after another, completes one quest after another, defeats one villain after another, and enjoys one victory after another.
The structure of ‘Raiders’ is different. A quick reminder:
- In the opening sequence, Indiana Jones obtains the temple idol only to lose it to his rival René Belloq (Paul Freeman). - In the streets of Cairo, Indy fails to protect his love, Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen), from being captured (killed, he assumes). - In the desert, he finds the long-lost Ark of the Covenant, only to have it taken away by Belloq. - Indy then recovers the ark only to have it stolen a second time by Belloq, this time at sea. - On an island, Indy tries to bluff Belloq into thinking he’ll blow up the ark. His bluff fails. Indy is captured. - The climax of the film literally has its hero tied to a post the entire time. He’s completely ineffectual and helpless at a point in the movie where every other action hero is having their greatest moment of struggle and, typically, triumph.
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If Indiana Jones had done absolutely nothing, if the famed archeologist had simply stayed home, the Nazis would have met the same fate - losing their lives to ark’s wrath because they opened it. It’s pretty rare in action films for the evil arch-villains to have the same outcome as if the hero had done nothing at all.
Indy does succeed in getting the ark back to America, of course, which is crucial. But then Indy loses the ark, once again, when government agents send it to a warehouse and refuse to let him study the object he chased the whole film. In other words: Indiana Jones spends ‘Raiders’ failing, getting beat up, and losing every artefact that he risks his life to acquire. And yet, Indiana Jones is considered a great hero.
The reason Indiana Jones is a hero isn’t because he wins. It’s because he never stops trying. I think this is the core of Indiana Jones’ character.
Critics will go on about something called agency as in being active or pro-active. But agency can be reactive and still be kinetic to propel the story along. It’s something that has progressively got lost as the series went on. With the latest Indiana Jones film I felt that Indiana Jones character had no agency and ends up being a relatively passive character. Sadly Indiana Jones ends up being a grouchy, broken, and beat up passenger in his own movie.
Released in 1981, ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’ remains one of the most influential blockbusters of all time. Exciting action, exotic adventure, just the right amount of romance, good-natured humour, cutting-edge special effects: it was all there, perfectly balanced. Since then, attempts have been made to reproduce this winning recipe in different narrative contexts, sometimes successfully (’Temple of Doom’ and ‘the Last Crusade’), usually in vain (’Crystal Skull’).
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What are the key ingredients of an Indiana Jones movie? There are only four core elements - leaving aside aspects of story such as the villain or the goal - that you need in place before anything else. They are: the wry, world-weary but sexy masculine performance of Harrison Ford; the story telling genius of George Lucas steeped in the lore of Saturday morning action hero television shows of the 1950s; the deft visual story telling and old school action direction of Steven Spielberg; and the sublime and sweeping music of the great John Williams. This what made the first three films really work.
In the latest Indiana Jones film, you only have one. Neither Lucas and Spielberg are there and arguably neither is Harrison Ford. John Williams’ music score remains imperious as ever. His music does a lot of heavy lifting in the film and let’s face it, his sublime music can polish any turd.
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This isn’t to say the ‘Dial of Destiny’ is a turd. I won’t go that far, and to be honest some of the critical reaction has been over-hysterical. Instead I found it enjoyable but also immensely frustrating more than anything else. It had potential to be a great swan song film for Indy because it had an exciting collection of talent behind it.
In the absence of Spielberg, one couldn’t do worse than to pick James Mangold as next best to direct this film. Mangold is a great director. I am a fan of his body of work. After ‘Copland’, ‘Walk the Line’, ‘Logan’ and ‘Le Mans 66’ (or ‘Ford vs Ferrari’), James Mangold has been putting together a fine career shaped by his ability to deliver stories that rediscover a certain old-fashioned charm without abusing the historical figures - real or fictional - he tackles. And after Johnny Cash, Wolverine and Ken Miles, among others, I had high hopes he would keep the flame alive when it came to Indiana Jones. Mangold grew up as a fanboy of Spielberg’s work and you can clearly see that in his approach to directing film.
But in this film his direction lacks vitality. Mangold, while regularly really good, drags his feet a little here because he’s caught between putting his own stamp on the film and yet also lovingly pay homage to his hero, Spielberg. It’s as if he didn't dare give himself away completely, the director seems too modest to really take the saga by the scruff of the neck, and inevitably ends up suffering from the inevitable comparison with Steven Spielberg.
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Mangold tries to recreate the nostalgic wonder of the originals, but doesn't quite succeed, while succumbing to an overkill of visual effects that make several passages seem artificial. The action set pieces range from pedestrian to barely satisfying. The prologue sequence was vaguely reminiscent of past films but it was still a little too reliant on CGI. The much talked about de-ageing of Harrison Ford on screen was impressive (and one suspects a lot of the film budget was sunk right there). But Indiana’s lifeless digitally de-aged avatar fighting on a computer-generated train, made the whole sequence feel like the Nazi Polar Express. Because it didn’t look real, there was no sense of danger and therefore no emotional investment from the audience. You know Tom Cruise would have done it for real and it would have looked properly cinematic and spectacular.
The tuk tuk chase through the narrow streets of Tangiers was again an exciting echo of past films, especially ‘Raiders’, but goes on a tad too long, but the exploration of the ship wreck (and a criminally underused cameo by Antonio Banderas) was disappointing and way too short. 
The main problem here is the lack of creativity in the conception of truly epic scenes, because these are not dependent on Ford's age. Indeed, the film could very well have offered exhilarating action sequences worthy of the archaeologist with the whip, without relying solely on the physicality of its leading man. You don't need a Tom Cruise to orchestrate great moments but you could do worse than to follow his example. 
Mangold uses various means of locomotion to move the character  - train, tuk tuk, motorbike, horse - and offers a few images that wouldn't necessarily be seen elsewhere (notably the shot of Jones riding a horse in the middle of the underground), but in the end shows himself to be rather uninspired, when the first three films in the saga conceived some of the most inventive sequences in the genre and left their mark on cinema history. There are no really long shots, no iconic compositions, no complex shots that last and enrich a sequence, which makes the film look too smooth and prevents it from giving heft to an adventure that absolutely needs it.
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And so now to the divisive figure of Phoebe Waller-Bridge. 
It’s important here to separate the person from the character. I like Phoebe Waller-Bridge and I loved her in her ‘Fleabag’ series. She excels in a very British setting. I think she is funny, irreverent, and a whip smart talented writer and performer. I also think she has a particular frigid English beauty and poise about her. When I say poise I don’t mean the elegant poise of a Parisienne or a Milanese woman, but someone who is cute and comfortable in her own skin. You would think she would be more suited to ‘Downton Abbey’ setting than all out Hollywood action film. But I think she almost pulls it off here. 
In truth over the years Phoebe Waller-Bridge, known for her comedy, has been collecting franchises where she is able to inflict her saucy humour into a hyper-masculine space. I don’t think her talent was properly showcased here. 
Hollywood has this talent for plucking talented writers and actors who are exceptional in what they do and then hire them do something entirely different by either miscasting them or making them write in a different genre. I think Phoebe Waller-Bridge is exceptional and she might just rise if she is served by a better script.
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In the end I think she does a decent stab at playing an intriguing character in Helena Shaw, Indy’s long lost and estranged god daughter and a sort of amoral rare artefacts hustler. Phoebe Waller-Bridge brings enthusiasm, charm and mischief to the role, making her a breath of fresh air. She seems to be the only member of the on-screen cast that looks to be enjoying themselves. 
To be fair her I thought Waller-Bridge was a more memorable and interesting female character than either Kate Capshaw (’Temple of Doom’, 1984) and Alison Doody (’Last Crusade’, 1989). She certainly is a marked improvement on the modern woke inspired insipid female action leads such as Brie Larson (’Captain Marvel’), or any women in the Marvel universe for that matter, or Katherine Waterson (’Alien Covenant’). Waller-Bridge could have been reminiscent of Kathleen Turner (’Romancing the Stone’) and more recently Eva Green, actresses who command attention on screen and are as captivating, if not more so, than the male protagonists they play opposite.
To be sure there have been strong female leads before the woke infested itself into Hollywood story telling but they never made it central to their identity. Sigourney Weaver in ‘Alien’ and Linda Hamilton in the ‘Terminator’ franchise somehow conveyed strength of character with grit and perseverance through their suffering, while also being vulnerable and confident to pull through and succeed. Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s character isn’t quite that. She doesn’t get into fist fights or overpowers big hulking men but she uses cheek and charm to wriggle out of tight spots. She’s gently bad ass rather the dull ‘strong independent woman’ cardboard caricatures that Marvel is determined to ram down every girl’s throat. If Waller-Bridge’s character was better written she might well have been able to revive memories of the great ladies of Hollywood's golden age who had the fantasy and the confidence that men quaked at their feet.
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What lets her character down is the snark. She doesn’t pepper her snark but she drowns in it. All of it directed at poor Indy and mocking him for his creaking bones and his entire legacy. It’s a real eyesore and it is a real let down as it drags the story down and clogs up the wheels that power the kinetic energy that an adventure with Indiana Jones needs. ‘The grumpy old man and the young woman with the wicked repartee set off across the vast world’ schtick is all well and good, but it does grate and by the end it makes you angry that Indy has put up with this crap. I can understand why many are turned off by Waller-Bridge’s character. As a female friend of mine put it, we get the talented Phoebe Waller Bridge’s bitter and unlikable Helena acting like a bitter and unlikable man. But it could be worse, it could be as dumb as Shia LaBeouf‘s bad Fonzie impersonation in 'Crystal Skull’.
I would say there is a difference between snark and sass. Waller-Bridge’s character is all snark. If the original whispers are true the original script had her way more snarkier towards Indy until Ford threatened to leave the project unless there were re-writes,  then it shows how far removed the producers and writers were from treating Indy Jones with the proper respect a beloved legacy character deserves. It’s also lazy story telling.
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Karen Black gave us real sass with Marion Ravenwood in ‘Raiders’. Her character was sassy, strong, but also vulnerable and romantic. She plays it pitch perfect. Of all the women in Indy’s life she was good foil for Indy.
Spielberg is so underrated for his mise-en-scène. We first meet Marion running a ramshackle but rowdy tavern in Tibet (she’s a survivor). She plays and wins a drinking game (she’s a tough one), she sees Indy again and punches him (she’s angry and hurt for her abandoning her and thus revealing her vulnerability). She has the medallion and becomes a partner (she’s all business). She evades and fights off the Nazis and their goons, she even uses a frying pan (she’s resourceful but not stupid). She tries on dresses (she’s re-discovers her femininity). Indy saves her but she picks him up at the end of the film by going for a drink (she’s healing and there’s a chance of a new start for both of them). This is a character arc worth investing in because it speaks to truth and to our reality.
The problem with Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s character is that she is constantly full on with the snark. Indy and Helena gripe and moan at each other the entire film. Indy hasn’t seen her in years, and she felt abandoned after her father passed, so there’s a lot of bitterness. It’s not unwarranted, but it also isn’t entertaining. It’s never entertaining if the snark makes the character too temperamental and unsympathetic for the audience to be emotionally invested in her.
I think overall the film is let down by the script. Again this is a shame. The writing talent was there. Jez and John-Henry Butterworth worked with James Mangold on ‘Ford v. Ferrari’ and co-wrote ‘Edge of Tomorrow‘ while David Koepp co-wrote the first ‘Mission: Impossible’ (but he also penned Indiana Jones and the ‘Kingdom of the Crystal Skull’, and the 2017 version of ‘The Mummy’ that simultaneously started and destroyed Universal’s plans for their Dark Universe). I love the work of Jez Butterworth who is one of England’s finest modern playwrights and he seemed to have transitioned fine over to Hollywood. But as anyone knows a Hollywood script has always too many cooks in the kitchen. There are so many fingerprints of other people - studio execs and directors and even stars - that a modern Hollywood script somehow resembles a sort of Ship of Theseus. It’s the writer’s name on the script but it doesn’t always mean they wrote or re-wrote every word.
Inevitably things fall between the cracks and you end up filming from the hip and hoping you can stitch together a coherent narrative in post-production editing. Clearly this film suffered from studio interference and many re-writes. And it shows because there is no narrative fluidity at work in the film.
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Mads Mikkelsen’s Nazi scientist is a case in point. I love Mikkelsen especially in his arthouse films but I understand why he takes the bucks for the Hollywood films too. But in this film he is phoning in his performance. Mads Mikkelsen does what he can with limited screen time to make an impact but this character feels so recycled from other blockbusters. Here the CIA and US Government are evil and willing to let innocent Americans be murdered in order to let their pet Nazi rocket scientist pursue what they believe to be a hobby. But to be fair the villains in the Indy movies have never truly been memorable with perhaps Belloq, the French archaeologist and nemesis of Indy in ‘Raiders’, the only real exception. It’s just been generic bad guys - The Nazis! The Thugee death cult! The Nazis (again)! The Commies! Now we’re back to Nazis again which is not only safer ground for the Indy franchise but something we can all get behind.
However Mads Mikkelsen’s Dr. Voller, is the blandest and most generic Nazi villain in movie history. At the end of World War II, Voller was recruited by the US Government to aid them in rocket technology. Now that he’s completed his task and man has walked on the moon, he’s turning his genius to his ultimate purpose, the recovery of the ‘Dial of Destiny’ built by Archimedes. Should he find both pieces of the ancient treasure, he plans to return to 1930s Nazi Germany, usurp Hitler, and use his advanced knowledge of rocket propulsion to win the war. In a sense then he was channeling his inner Heidegger who felt Hitler had let down Nazism and worse betrayed Heidegger himself.
So there is a character juxtaposition between Voller and Indy in the sense both men feel more comfortable in the past than the present. But neither is given face time together to explore this intriguing premise that could have anchored the whole narrative of the film. It’s a missed opportunity and instead becomes a failure of character and story telling.
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Then there are the one liners which seemed shoe horned in to make the studio execs or the writers feel smug about themselves. There are several woke one lines peppered throughout the film but are either tone deaf or just stupid.
“You trigger happy cracker”-  it’s uttered without any self-awareness by a black CIA agent who is chaperoning the Nazi villain. Just because white people think it’s dumb and aren’t bothered by it doesn’t make it any less a racial slur. If you want authenticity then why not use the ’N’ word then as it would historically appropriate in 1969? The hypocrisy is what’s offensive.
“You stole it. He stole it. I stole it. It’s called capitalism.” - capitalism 101 for economic illiterate social justice warriors.
“[I’m] daring, beautiful, and self-sufficient” - uttered by Helena Shaw as a snarky reminder that she’s a strong independent woman, just in case you forgot.
“It’s not what you believe but how hard you believe.” - Indiana Jones has literally stood before the awesome power of God when the Ark of the Covenant was opened up by the Nazis, and they paid the price for it by having their faces melted off. Indy has drunk from the authentic cup of Christ, given to him by a knight who’s lived for centuries, that gave him eternal life and heal his father from a fatal bullet wound. So he’s figuratively seen the face of God (sure, he closed his eyes) and His holy wrath, and has witnessed the divine healing power of Christ first hand. And yet his spews out this drivel. It’s empty of any meaning and is a silly nod to our current fad that it’s all about the truth of our feelings, not observable facts or truth.
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For me though the absolute worse was what they did to Indiana Jones as a character. Once the pinnacle of masculinity, a brave and daring man’s man whose zest for life was only matched by his brilliance, Henry Jones Jr. is now a broken, sad, and lonely old man. Indiana Jones is mired in the past. Not in the archaeological past, but in his own personal past. He's asleep at the wheel, losing interest in his own life. He's lost his son, he's losing his wife. He's been trying to pass on his passion, his understanding to disinterested people. They're not so interested in looking at the past. He remains a man turned towards the past, and then he finds himself confronted by Helena, who embodies the future. This nostalgia, this historical anchoring, becomes the main thread of the story.The film tries to deconstructs Indiana Jones on the cusp of retirement from academia and confronts him with a world he no longer understands. That’s an interesting premise and could have made for a great film.
It’s clear that the filmmakers’ intention was for a lost and broken Indiana to recapture his spirit by the film’s end. However, its horrible pacing and meandering and underdeveloped plot, along with Harrison Ford’s miserably sad demeanour in nearly every scene, make for a deeply depressing movie with an empty and unearned resolution. 
By this I mean at the very end of the film. It’s meant to be daring and it is. There’s something giddy about appearing during the middle of siege of Syracuse by blood thirsty Romans and then coming face to face with Archimedes himself. The film seems to want to justify the legendary, exceptional aura and character of Indy himself by including him in History. Hitherto wounded deep down inside, and now also physically wounded, Indy the archaeologist tells Helena that he wants to stay here and be part of history. 
It's a lovely and even moving moment, and you wonder if the film isn't going to pull a ‘Dying Can Wait’ by having its hero die in order to strengthen its legend. But in a moment that is too brutal from a rhythmic point of view, Helena refuses, knocks out her godfather and takes him back to the waiting plane and back to 1969. The next thing Indy sees he’s woken up back in his shabby apartment in New York.
I felt cheated. I’m sure Indy did too.
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After all it was his choice. But Helena robbed him of the freedom to make his own decisions. She’s the one to decide what’s best. In effect she robbed him of agency. Even if it was the wrong decision to stay back in time, it’s so important from a narrative and character arc perspective that Indy should have had his own epiphany and make the choice to come back by himself because there is something worth living for in the future present - and that was reconciling with Marion his estranged wife. But damn it, he had to come to that decision for himself, and not have someone else force it upon him. That’s why the ending feelings so unearned and why the story falls flat as a soufflé when you piss on it.
‘Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny’ feels like the type of sequel that aimed to capture the magic of its predecessors, had worthwhile intentions, and a talented cast, but it just never properly materialised. In a movie whose pedigree, both in front and behind the camera, is virtually unassailable, it’s inexcusable that this team of filmmakers couldn’t achieve greater heights. 
The film was a missed opportunity to give a proper send off to a cinematic legend. Harrison Ford proving that whatever gruff genre appeal he possessed in his heyday has aged better than Indy’s knees. He may be 80, but Ford carries the weight of the film, which, for all its gargantuan expense, feels a bit like those throwaway serials that first inspired Lucas - fun while it lasts, but wholly forgettable on exit.
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I wouldn’t rate ‘Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny’ as the worst film in the franchise - that dubious honour still lies with ‘Kingdom of the Crystal Skull’.  Indeed the best I can say is that I would rate this film at the benchmark of “not quite as bad as Crystal Skull”.But it’s definitely time to retire and hang up the fedora and the bull whip.
For what’s worth I always thought the ending of ‘Last Crusade’ where Indy, his father Henry Jones Snr., and his two most faithful companions, Sallah and Marcus Brody, ride off into the sunset was the most fitting way to say goodbye to a beloved character.
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Instead we have in ‘Dial of Destiny’ the very last scene which is meant to be this perfect ending: Indiana Jones in his scruffy pyjamas and his shabby apartment. Sure, the exchange between a reconciling Indy and Marion is sincere and touching. But that only works because it explicitly recalls ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’. That's what Nietzsche would call “an eternal return”.
I shall eternally return to watch the first three movies to delight in the adventures of the swashbuckling archaeologist with the fedora and a bull whip. The last two dire films will be thrown into the black abyss. Something even Nietzsche would have approved of.
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Thanks for your question.
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duhragonball · 10 days
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End of Evangelion: 25'
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Yeah... that's...
"You don't understand!" is pretty much Neon Genesis Evangelion in a nutshell.
Or "You do (not) understand! (true²) Director's Cut" is how the franchise would put it.
Let's just get on with this.
I watched End of Evangelion last night. Well, early A.M. I took a nap and woke up at midnight and it seemed like the right time to watch a thing like this.
I did not enjoy the movie. I'll explain this, of course, but I wanted to get that out of the way up front. There are positives, sure, but I went into this thing hoping for a more satisfying conclusion than what was presented in the TV show, and I didn't get it. Both endings suck. There you go.
Let me back up a bit. So the TV series ran from 1995 to 1996. The final episodes, 25 and 26, were controversial because they were expected to wrap up the whole story, but instead they went in a bizarrely abstract direction. Both of those episodes apparently take place inside Shinji Ikari's mind as he struggles to accept being part of a collective gestalt of every human mind on Earth. This is the result of the "Human Instrumentality Project" a concept mentioned in Episodes 1 -24, but never adequately explained. The final episodes just skip past the part where Human Instrumentality was achieved and shows the result, without bothering to discuss the background or the cause, or the long-term ramifications.
From what I gather, the main reason Episodes 25 and 26 were Like That was because the studio was short on time and money, so a more satisfying conclusion was not practical. But since the series turned out to be so successful, they were able to take another crack at it with End of Evangelion. The film is very clear about its purpose as an "alternative" to Episodes 25 and 26. It's divided into two sections, numbered 25' and 26'.
I'm not sure the viewer is expected to pick one over the other. The original 25&26 take place in Shinji's mind when Human Instrumentality happens. 25' and 26' take place in the outside world, showing the events leading to Human Instrumentality and the aftermath. There may be some continuity issues to iron out, but a fan could easily accept both endings as canon.
That's not my problem here. The problem is not that there are multiple endings, or that the endings are too "abstract", or that the endings aren't "happy". Fundamentally, my gripe is that the endings are confusing. Perhaps it might be said that the endings are pathologically confusing.
I think this is one of those Big, Emotionally Raw Works, where you can't really discuss it without revealing something about yourself in the process. So let's do that. End of Evangelion makes me feel stupid. There's parts of the movie where I'm just completely confused and I have no idea what is happening or why. It feels less like entertainment and more like I'm about to take a test I didn't study for.
Except I did study, because I've literally been taking notes on this thing for the past three weeks. I was looking forward to this, and last night I'm near the end of the movie wondering what the hell I'm going to write here, because I don't understand what the hell happened in the movie.
So I poked around a fan wiki for a bit, trying to get a handle on some of the major concepts, and as I read the articles, I realized that a lot of this information just stone cold never made it into the TV show or the movie. There was one thing I looked up that had to reference a Playstation 2 game that released six years after the movie premiered.
It's not that I'm too stupid to understand Neon Genesis Evangelion. It's that the franchise appears deliberately designed to hide information from the viewer. You're just supposed to roll with it, I guess. Or spend days researching all this side material. Read the manga, read the wiki, read fan commentaries. I hate this. I hate this so much.
So maybe I'm not stupid. Maybe the anime was just badly designed. That would be comforting, except I still feel stupid for investing so much time into trying to understand this thing that seems purposely rigged to defy understanding. It's not just the ending. That's what everyone talks about, but the ending is just a symptom of a bigger problem. The beginning is really slow. Then the middle starts to get weird, and there's a lot of mysteries and subplots and lore that gets set up with the implied promise that "we'll explain later". And the ending(s) drop that ball. The surgery was a success, but the patient died.
I feel stupid because I got a reply to one of my liveblog posts, I think Episode 12, in response to some comment I made about all the characters having the same backstory. Ritsuko has a complicated relationship with her workaholic scientist mother. Misato has a complicated relationship with her workaholic scientist father. Shinji has a complicated relationship with his workaholic scientist father. Is that a theme or did they only have one idea? My point is that eventually it stops being clever and starts being redundant. Later, we learn that Asuka has... a complicated relationship with her workaholic scientist mother.
"What, are you stupid?" asked the reply guy to my wry observation. They deleted it a few minutes after I saw it, so maybe they felt some remorse over the comment. Normally, I let these things slide. I might respond if I get legitimately hot about it. But this one got to me. "Am I stupid?" I asked myself last week. I seem to be complaining a lot about this show, but it's supposed to be a classic. Am I not giving it a chance? Am I missing something here? Am I just not smart enough to appreciate this thing? Am I just not trying hard enough?
If you're reading this, Reply Guy, please know that I didn't take it personally. I'm not upset with you at all, but I am trying to be honest with myself about this. This Neon Genesis Evangelion business has been frustrating me all month long. Now I'm at the end and it all feels very hollow, like I wasted my time.
I think that's my philosophy on life. I try to seek out new things to explore, usually stories, and sometimes they don't work out the way I wanted them to, and that's okay, because it's the journey that counts. Shinji Ikari keeps shutting down throughout his story, asking why he should bother doing anything, because he's too terrified of the possible outcomes of his actions. My thing is that bad stuff happens all the time no matter what, and you just sort of have to recover and move forward, because that's the only way to see what happens next. So I'm not sure if I can relate to Shinji or not.
Anyway, let's talk about Shinji masturbating in a hospital room over Asuka's comatose body.
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I had heard about this scene, but I didn't realize how long and pathetic it is. Asuka had a nervous breakdown in Episode 23. This movie has to follow up on that, becuase Episodes 24, 25, and 26 each refused to pick up on her character arc.
Meanwhile, Shinji is wracked with guilt and dread over his battle with the 17th Angel in Episode 24. He had to kill Kaworu, but in spite of Kaworu's betrayal, he was still a friend to Shinji when he needed it the most, and he was such a good sport about getting killed, you know?
So this movie has to get us back to that moment, when Shinji and Asuka are at their lowest ebb, and I guess they decided that Shinji should go see her in the hospital because he's desperate to talk to someone about what's he's been going through. But Asuka's unresponsive, so he starts shaking her like he's trying to wake her up. Instead she just rolls over, which somehow exposes her half-naked body, and Shinji is so overcome with lust that he rubs one out right there and then. Doesn't even get a Kleenex, doesn't find a place to sit, he just whips it out and goes to town right in front of her.
I guess this is supposed to be a joke, but it doesn't land. It's not even a matter of the joke not aging well. Yeah, this is a 27 year old movie, but Shinji admits this is terrible behavior almost immediately. The "joke" didn't age at all. It was stillborn. This is like when you go to a graveyard and you see one of the tiny graves and the dates are from the same year. That's how funny this is.
The most charitable reading I can give this scene is that it represents the hypocrisy of Shinji's whole deal. He constantly insists that he can only do as he's told, because he's afraid of people not liking him if he makes a mistake or thinks for himself. But here he's doing some pretty disgraceful shit, and I sure as fuck didn't tell him to do this. did you? Did anyone? Of course not. He goes limp for most of the rest of the movie, but not here. Nossir. Seems pretty sure of himself in the minute or so it took him to finish his business.
The other aspect of Shinji on display here is that his ideal social interactions are one-sided. He's most comfortable with people when they can't see what he's doing, when they can't touch him back. That's why he wished for isolation in Episode 25. Here, with Asuka unresponsive, he's basically got the same thing.
I suppose the flip side of this is when Asuka kissed Shinji in the TV series. Her hangups are kind of the opposite of his, where she wants to be in charge of everything and everyone constantly showers her with praise for her achievements. She wants to kiss Shinji but she can't be vulnerable enough to admit that, so she orders him to just stand there and be kissed because she wants to "pass the time". And she makes him hold his nose shut because she doesn't want to be breathed on while she does it. I mean, they both have intimacy issues, but at least Shinji had a chance to consent to her weirdness.
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In the NERV base, the crew wonder why they're still on alert status, since the last Angel was defeated. There should be no more threats, and it kind of makes sense for NERV to be disbanded. The only business left is the Human Instrumentality Project, and none of these ham-and-eggers know what that is.
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But Misato has some information about it, which she mulls over while she's in her car. I guess? Let me explain this in more detail, because the movie never totally gets into the "why" of it all.
Okay, so the SEELE group has access to something called the "Dead Sea Scrolls". According to the NGE wiki, SEELE got it from the two angels that came to Earth, Adam and Lilith, in the distant past. SEELE has used the information contained in the scrolls to establish themselves as the secret rulers of the whole world. And they founded NERV, and its predecessor organizations, to study the Angels and figure out how to preserve the human race.
They talk a lot about Second Impact on this show, but they never explain exactly what caused it. Second Impact was not a meteorite strike or a rampaging angel who self-destructed, or even a lab accident. It was caused deliberately by SEELE, as part of an effort to contain Adam, who lay dormant in Antarctica.
If I understand correctly, this was necessary because at some point, Second Impact would occur anyway, and then Adam's children, the fifteen Angels we saw in the TV series, would come looking for Adam's body and unite with it, triggering a Third Impact that would definitely wipe out humanity. This is all supposedly explained in the Dead Sea Scrolls.
So SEELE's play was to trigger Second Impact deliberately, so that they could confront the Angels on their own terms. This gave NERV time to develop the Evas to fight the Angels, and to shrink Adam down to a more manageable size so he'd be harder to find.
Once the Angels were all defeated, SEELE could then trigger Third Impact. See, the TV series made it seem like the objective was to prevent Third Impact, but that was never possible. Third Impact is inevitable, I guess, so the only way to ensure humanity's survival is to evolve humans into something that can withstand the disaster. Thus, the Human Instrumentality Project, which will combine all human minds into some sort of disembodied superorganism at the moment of Third Impact.
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However, throughout the TV series, SEELE has butted heads with the NERV Director, Gendo Ikari, about how this plan is to be implemented. Gendo wants to transform humanity into something new. But SEELE seems to want to retain their human nature and just use the plan as a lifeboat until the disaster has passed. At least, I think that's the disagreement here. Like I said, I had to learn about SEELE's agenda from the description of the PS2 game. It's not exactly a shock that the cabal of worldly oligarchs should want to save themselves and hold onto their wealth and power at the same time.
Gendo, on the other hand, seems mostly fixated on reuniting with his wife, Yui Ikari, who apparently died in 2004 during an experiment with Eva Unit 01. In the TV series, it was heavily implied that Yui lives on inside of Unit 01. Since Gendo's version of Human Instrumentality involves drawing up human minds into a noncorporeal union, I guess he figures that this will include Yui's mind, even if she has no body. It's unclear in this movie if Gendo actually intends to include anyone but himself and Yui in this merger, but in Episodes 25 and 26 of the TV show, Human Instrumentality is presented like it's all humans, even dead ones, and Gendo Ikari talked about it like that's what his version of Third Impact was supposed to be.
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I suppose the only thing keeping Gendo and SEELE from turning on each other was the Angel threat, but now that this is over, SEELE attacks. First they try to hack NERV's supercomputers, but this is foiled when they recruit the aid of...
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...Ritsuko Akagai, who betrayed NERV in Episode 23 when she destroyed all the Rei clones they had in storage. But she's the only one smart enough with computers to block the hack, so she crawls back inside one of them and uses her dead mother's notes to build a more robust firewall or something. I think she j-pegged a RAM or something, I don't know.
Ritsuko wonders why she's even bothering, since she already turned on Gendo. They had been banging on the down-low, but she got fed up with him when she realized he loved his dead wife more than Ritsuko or her mother, who also used to bang Gendo on the down-low.
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With that cyberattack fended off, NERV now has to brace for an actual attack. Admiral Clownshoes notes the irony of NERV defeating all those Angels, only for their final opponent to be the humans they were trying to save.
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Tactically, the entire battle is a formality. SEELE runs the whole world, and they can send wave after wave of soldiers into the NERV facility, which is already badly weakened after months of Angel attacks and budget cuts. NERV's defenses were designed for dealing with Angels, and their greatest weapons were the Evas, except Unit-00 was destroyed in Episode 22, and Unit-02's pilot has lost the ability to sync. Nonetheless, Misato wants the pilot kids secured, since she knows SEELE's goons will try to take them out first. She orders Shinji to deploy in Unit-01, and even though Asuka's in no condition to fight, she has her put in Unit-02 and then sent to the bottom of the lake. It's not much of a hiding place, but at least she'll be safer there than inside the base.
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Where's Rei? Well, no one can find her, but she's gone down to the room where they keep Lilith and she's soaking in that orange goop they have down there.
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Perhaps anticipating this, Gendo excuses himself and orders Clownshoes to take over the defense of the base. Clownshoes seems to know what he's up to, and sends his regards to Gendo's dead wife.
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At this point, it's basically a race to see who can trigger their version of Third Impact first. SEELE wanted to use the Lance of Longinus and Lilith somehow, but since the Lance is in space now, they now plan to use Unit-01, the only Eva created from Lilith. That's what makes it special, apparently. Units 00 and 02 were made from Adam, I guess?
Anyway, Gendo plans to do it by combining Adam and Lillith together. He's got Adam's body within his own, and he wants to join with Rei, who contains some essence of Lillith. This was Rei's main purpose all along, I think.
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Meanwhile, Misato leaves her post to find Shinji, who was sulking in some corner instead of reporting to his Eva like she ordered. She saves him from some goons, but they're cut off from Unit-01, so she has to find a way to get him where he needs to go. She also has to convince him to cooperate, since Shinji's completely gone to mush in the midst of this new crisis.
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As she drives him to where they need to go, she explains (most of) the necessary backstory to him. Second Impact was triggered deliberately to buy time for Human Instrumentality, and humans are descended from Lilith, just as the Angels came from Adam. So in that sence, the human species is collectively the 18th Angel, just another candidate to inherit the future of Earth. Humans, like any of the fifteen Angels spawned from Adam, have the opportunity to trigger Third Impact and secure their place as the dominant life form of Earth, but we had to beat all the Angels first to do it, and then find a way to survive Third Impact when it finally happened.
And while Gendo plans to do with with Adam and Lilith, SEELE wants to use the Eva series, somehow, so it's vital that Shinji use Unit-01 to destroy all the other Evas.
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Speaking of destroying Evas, Asuka finally wakes up in Unit-02, which is currently getting battered with depth charges. She still can't control the Eva, and she just keeps whimpering that she doesn't want to die. Eventually, she hears her dead mother promising to protect Asuka, and she realizes the truth: that Asuka's mother, Kyoko Zeppelin, was absorbed into Unit-02, much the same way Shinji's mom was absorbed into Unit-01.
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Now, at long last, Asuka can operate her Eva again, and she goes apeshit on the SEELE troops. They sever her power cable, but she doesn't care, boasting that five minutes is plenty of time to take out these creeps. This is honestly the best part of the movie, because they had reduced Asuka to a pitiful shell for so long, and now she's finally taking charge and whoopin' ass.
It won't last.
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With the conventional forces beaten, SEELE sends in nine Eva Units of their own. These are units 05 through 13, but they all look the same, and I'm not even sure they have pilots. It's a pretty cool design for a "bad guy" Eva, but they don't figure into the plot very much. They're here to destroy Asuka and Unit-02, and Asuka has to destroy them to stop SEELE.
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Meanwhile, Misato has almost gotten Shinji to the Unit-01 launch bay, but she got shot, so she tells Shinji he's on his own from here. Shinji continues to resist taking any responsibility here. He says he's not worthy to pilot the Eva because he hurts people. He killed Kaworu, and he "did something terrible to Asuka". So at least the movie recognizes that. I guess it was included just to show the audience that Shinji isn't exaggerating when he doubts himself like this.
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Misato refuses to indulge his self-pity, and she doesn't care how much he cries or tries to use his past actions to disqualify himself. She tells him she's made plenty of her own mistakes, but she still learned something about herself anyway. Hey, I guess Misato kind of gets what I was saying earlier. I guess this makes her my favorite character?
Well, yeah, but I don't like how she gives him a long kiss goodbye, then promises they'll "do the rest" when he gets back. I mean, she dies immediately after he leaves, so I think she was just feeding him empty gestures to motivate him while she still could, but... that's kind of fucked up.
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Meanwhile, Gendo and Rei reach the room where Lillith is to begin their attempt at Third Impact, but they find Ritsuko waiting for them. She pulls a gun on Gendo and tells him that she sabotaged the supercomputer while she was reprogramming it to stop SEELE's hackers. Except... when she tries to execute her plan, the computer doesn't do it. This is because it's been imprinted with the mind of its original creator, Ritsuko's mother, and apparently mom still carries a torch for Gendo, even after Gendo screwed both Akagis over. Gendo then pulls a gun on Ritsuko, and says "I truly..." but the sound cuts out as he says the rest of it, so we don't know what he wanted to tell her.
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In any case, she calls him a liar after she hears it, so either he told her he loved her and she didn't buy it, or he said something really cruel and she knew he didn't mean it. Either way, Gendo shoots, her which normally would suggest his true feelings, except I think this Human Instrumentality business works on dead people too, so life and death kind of becomes meaningless in this movie. We see a ghostly apparition of Rei as Ritsuko falls into the LCL fluid. We also saw ghost Rei when Misato died, so this seems to be a thing now.
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Meanwhile, Shinji makes it to Unit 01, but it's immersed in Bakelite, which Misato had ordered dispersed through the base to impede the invading goons. I'm not sure how it got here, though, unless the bad guys used Misato's own trick to secure Unit-01. So it looks like Shinji can't get in the robot, even though it's not a robot, and he doesn't even have to be inside the stupid thing to control it. He literally proved that on his first day on the job. Yo, Shinji, get in the robot, your mom loves you.
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Meanwhile, Asuka seems to be doing just fine killing the bad guy Evas without Shinji, but just as she finishes the last of them off, the Lance of Longinus suddenly flies back to Earth and improbably stabs Unit 02 through the face. Uh... how? Why? What the fuck?
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Also, all the Evas Asuka defeated suddenly reactivate. With her battery drained, Asuka is helpless to stop them as they crack open Unit-02 and eat it. I'm pretty sure Asuka herself is killed during this, but we don't see a body.
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I guess this was the catalyst to get Unit 01 off its duff, as it finally breaks out of the Bakelite and grabs Shinji like it's gonna put him in. Unit 01 busts out to join the battle, and it's thig big impressive spectacle. It even has angel wings now.
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But it doesn't actually do anything. Shinji just gets a look at what's left of Unit-02's mangled corpse and screams.
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And that's the cliffhanger for 25'. There's a credits sequence, then a dedication note from the director, and then the second half starts as Episode 26'. So this is a good place to take a break.
If you're curious, the part where Eva 05-13 show up to confront Asuka is about where things ended in "Evangelion: Rebirth". But 25' is about twenty minutes longer than that, so I'm not sure what the significance of that cutoff point was supposed to be. I guess it works as a cliffhanger, but it's kind of dumb to have Asuka finally wake up and kick ass, only to get utterly destroyed a few minutes later. Then Shinji shows up to set up the real cliffhanger.
To be fair, this half of the movie is better than the second half. Mostly, it benefits from the parts where they actually show the characters recovering from Episode 24 and beginning to move to the next phase of the story. This was what the TV show failed to do with its Episode 25. Now, we get to see the SEELE vs. NERV battle that was only implied before, and we get to see how Human Instrumentality is arranged.
We also see why it needs to be done. In the original ending, it seemed completely arbitrary, like Gendo Ikari just decided this was a cool thing to try and he just did it to the whole world without asking anyone's permission. Here, it becomes clear that if Gendo doesn't pull the trigger, SEELE will, and it's just a race to see who can get their vision accomplished first.
And we actually get to see the other characters in this version. Asuka wakes up and gets her groove back, Rei's part in the drama is revealed, and Ritsuko and Misato get shot. Seeing this stuff makes me even more irritated that the TV series just jumped right past it all.
Still, this half of the movie has problems. For one thing, a lot of runtime is spent just showing troops slaughtering NERV personnel, and showing Misato leading Shinji to his Eva. Also, there's a healthy dose of Gendo and Rei just staring pensively at Lilith without actually doing anything. A lot of the footage doesn't actually progress the plot, and only Misato and Shinji's scenes are useful for providing exposition. Gendo and SEELE's words are too cryptic to be of much use.
The main point of this installment was to reinforce things we already knew: Rei's important to all of this somehow, Shinji is a sad sack, and Asuka is helpless. And maybe it needed to be reinforced in July 1997, more than a year after the TV show ended, but I don't think it needed to be hammered home this much.
And like I said from the start, this whole thing relies on a lot of ridiculous stuff that I feel like I should have been told about in the TV series. How did the Lance of Longinus come back? SEELE couldn't have arranged this, since they were the ones who were so upset about losing it in the first place. Why are there two methods to trigger Third Impact? How did Asuka's mother get sucked into the Eva and yet she remained in human form long enough to go insane and hang herself? Why did the bad guy Evas suddenly recover from their injuries when it was convenient for the plot?
Perhaps most critically: Why are they just treating Third Impact and Human Instrumentality like the same thing? Like if you do one, then the other one just automatically happens? Is that how it works? Then why were they so worried about the progress on that project? It could be done at will, right?
Oh, and how did SEELE figure out how to do all this stuff? They have their own fleet of Evas, which seem to work better than NERV's. They made their own Angel in the form of Kaworu. They seem to know how to make Third Impact happen, without Gendo's help. And however they got this far, they seemed to pull it off without anyone from NERV knowing about it. So why did SEELE even need NERV in the first place? As it currently stands, the only reason Gendo's ahead of them is because he's physically closer to what he needs to work with. SEELE could have nuked the base from orbit and hauled Eva Unit 01 from the wreckage.
Again, the whole movie just makes me feel like I missed an episode, except I didn't. I watched the whole thing, which leads me to assume that the next chapter will clarify everything, except it doesn't, as we'll see next time. See you there.
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smokeybrandreviews · 1 year
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Scooby Dooby Don’t
I feel like I'm piling on with this post but, f*ck, is Velma bad! It is every bit as terrible as you’ve heard, and has uniquely offended every one. I’m talking both sides of the aisle and it’s kind of insane. I’ve seen cats talking about how Mindy Kaling, voice of the titular Velma Dinkley and executive producer of this show, is some sort of deep cover, radical Conservative, who created this show specifically to be a parody of everything the Left looks for in content. I read a whole ass article that basically said Kaling is a self-hating Indian woman because all of her characters are basically self-hating Indian women and that’s a fair analysis. What has that got to do with Velma? Probably a lot but I'm not here to unpack Kaling’s personal issues. I’m just her to tell you this show is f*cking awful!
Now, don’t misunderstand me, I'm not here for this superficial outrage. All of this “woke” diversity sh*t is not a problem for me. I love a re-imagining and making these characters racially diverse is a thing that i am more than okay with, red-headed, ambiguously Asian, Daphne Blake aside. I like the subversion of Shaggy, for the most part. Norville is probably my favorite character in this show and that’s only because he’s redeemable. I mean, the dude is a total simp for Velma, much to his detriment, but Shaggy is, quite literally, the only likable character (if you can call him that) in this entire goddamn show. Everyone on this cast is abhorrent. It’s like someone drunkenly said in some Hollywood party, “Hey, what if Scooby-Doo but Always Sunny? And way worse?” That’s Velma in a nutshell. That’s the entire f*cking show, right there.
The writing is f*cking atrocious. It's not clever or funny and is just kind of what you'd expect a modern sixteen year old would make if they were penning a Scooby-Doo fan fic. Like, i didn’t laugh at anything in this show. Not once. Not even a chuckle. It was edgy cringe, the whole way through. This sh*t is written in the most derivative, performative progressive, corporate woke way possible. I’m watching this show and it feels like I'm looking at all the Rainbow Flags being flown over f*cking Disney during Pride Month. Watching this feels no different than Nike posting a bunch of MLK quotes over whatever new Zoom Air product poster their releasing, in February. This woke bullsh*t says the thing but doesn’t go any deeper. It’s recognizable as “progressive” but doesn’t earn any of the weight which goes with that. I mean, Daphne and Velma kiss at the end of episode f*cking two. That right there is your “safe” LBGTQ+ representation. At the end of the second f*cking episode. Unearned. Inorganic. Just shoved in there because, gay needed to be checked off the list.
It’s all just dick jokes and terrible pacing and f*cking nonsensical tomfoolery. Nothing is funny. Nothing is compelling. This show is just a mess but the most egregious transgression committed by Velma is the fact that Velma Dinkley is the absolute worst! She is, without a doubt, the worst f*cking character in this entire f*cking show, and it’s HER show! How can your title character be this goddamn unlikable? Velma in this show, resembles no other iteration of the character. Because she’s not. This Velma is every other character Mindy Kaling has ever played, which is just her. This Velma IS Mindy. She’s a self insert and acts just like every other character Mindy has written, because all she writes IS herself. There is no difference between Velma or Mindy Lahiri or Bela from that other show Kaling produced, The Sex Lives of College Girls. If you’re Indian in a Mindy Kaling production, you’re going to be a self-insert whether it’s prudent to the script or not. And she got away with this sh*t for years because, you know, it was HER sh*t. Now it’s not. Now it’s Scooby-Doo, a franchise that has been established for more than fifty f*cking years. When an franchise has been around that long, with so many different iterations of those principal characters, your lack of nuance and creativity molding one of the core cast is definitely going to stand out. Velma is so goddamn bad, cats are questioning Mindy’s entire career. That’s how bad she f*cked this up.
Who is this for? Its too woke for the Right and too poorly written for everyone else. Like, don’t misunderstand me, this is a bad show. It was bad on the page before the sh*t even got ethnically diverse onscreen. Everything in this show feels like it was focus-grouped for Zoomers and Alphas, and then no one listened to the feedback. They just went off some notes they got from the Old Twatter guard. Those Bluehairs and Checkmarks and the like. How is this thing so goddamn bad? Harley Quinn is everything this show wants to be and done correctly. SO much goddamn gay in that show but no one complains about any of it. SO much ethnic diversity and big ass female energy coursing throughout, not a peep from those more Conservative viewers. Because it’s good. Because the writing is witty, satirical, genuine, and earnest. This is what Adult animation is supposed to be, not just gratuitously violent, overtly sexual in very problematic ways, and chock full of mic drop F-bombs just for the f*ck of it. This is written like some wish fulfillment from the chubby goth girl that no one talked to in high school. Velma is the Twlight-ification of Scooby-Doo and it's f*cking terrible because of that.
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t-cognoscente · 10 months
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Hi you answered my roommates question so thoughtful and thoroughly I have one you for you as well. Could you explain some of the political ideologies coming out of the Decepticon mine revolution? (sorry if it's called something else). Would you consider Megatron a communist with very questionable means to an end or a fascist using a proletariat uprising to create a sort of ethnostate in what is essentially the transformers holy land.
Answer below
The Decepticon mine revolution actually isn't canon in most continuities. When the Decepticons are given an origin, Megatron is usually just a former gladiator and/or career soldier who wants to rule the universe. I believe the first continuity that made his origins a revolution against a corrupt system was Transformers: Prime, and even then he was still exclusively a gladiator, not a miner. In fact, as far as I'm aware, Megatron being a miner is only canon in the IDW2005 continuity. Even the IDW2019 continuity arguably doesn't stick to this - Megatron being a miner at some point in the past is sort of shoehorned in because of mandates from Hasbro, but it's not really something that influenced him a lot.
Don't feel bad - IDW2005 canon getting confused for universal canon is something that happens pretty frequently. It's hugely popular among nerds like me who are lore-obsessed, so it gets quoted super frequently when discussing what is and isn't canon. Fanfics which borrow details from different canons muddle things even further. This can confuse people who are more casual (read: sane) enjoyers of the franchise.
That said, the political ideologies of the Decepticon mine revolution from IDW2005 specifically formed as a reaction to something called Functionism. Functionism was a political, social and religious ideology present in pre-war Cybertron which stated that a Transformers' alternate mode should determine their place in society. Alternate modes were divided up by caste, and the careers available to you were determined by your alt. If your alt wasn't very useful, was very common, or was a tool to be used by others, you were low-caste.
Megatron was a miner because he was created with a mining drill alt-mode; he never had a say in the matter. Of course, as in real life, mining was an extremely dangerous and exploitative career. Although he was paid a (pitiful) salary, Megatron was effectively a slave, since it was literally illegal for him to stop being a miner. Furthermore, discrimination was disgustingly rampant. Those of a higher caste believed they were inherently more "people" than the lower castes, who they viewed as non-persons and treated as such.
Megatron started out as an anonymous author of political treatises, sowing the seeds for the anti-functionist movement that would eventually name itself after his motto: "You are being Deceived." He didn't become violent, however, until he had an encounter with police brutality. In a nutshell he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and was arrested without probable cause and beaten severely while in prison. This caused him to come to the conclusion that the only way to achieve equality was a violent takeover of the government in which he would instate himself as the autocratic ruler and enforce equality through absolute tyranny. Over time his views became more and more warped by constant violence, and mixed with imperialism and mechano-supremacism (belief that mechanical lifeforms are superior to organic lifeforms). Eventually a well-meaning revolutionary became a despot. But that's s story for a different day.
Now, on to your real question. Whether Megatron is communist or fascist is too complicated to answer if we are talking about all Megatrons as a whole. Therefore, I will only be analyzing IDW2005 Megatron.
I do think IDW 2005 Megatron is a communist. Functionism was a form of communism and he opposed that, however he does believe that the government (himself) should enforce absolute equality between all Transformers.
As to whether he is fascist, yes absolutely. Fascism isn't necessarily communist or capitalist. Fascism is any system of government that is extremely authoritarian, intolerant, oppressive, and aggressively silences any kind of opposition. Megatron 100% fits that description. Also, he spent 4 million years creating a Transformer ethnostate empire and is responsible for several planet-wide genocides. (However, I wouldn't say it's "in the Transformers holy land," since they consider the planet Cybertron itself to be their holy land and the Decepticon empire extends across multiple planets.)
IDW2005 Megatron started out genuinely believing in the proletariat uprising, but slowly lost himself. He is a communist, and a fascist at the same time.
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thejugheadparadox · 2 years
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Could you explain your problem with the episode. I haven't watched it yet. I only have a cursory understanding of Passover and Biblical plagues etc... not following a particular religion myself so I'm rather ignorant to it if the episode is problematic, I'd like to be informed going in why you were upset at the lack of Jewish character representation in this particular episode (aside from overall lack of representation in general which is understandable)
hey!! in a nutshell, the old testament plagues are said to have been called down by god against egypt in order to force the pharaoh to free his jewish israelite slaves. theres like. a lot to be said and commented on about this story but in the context of this riverdale episode, in which percival calls down the plagues against the citizens of riverdale, its kinda dodge that the bad guy is emulating what was originally the desires of the jewish people whilst the heroes are put in the position of their enslavers, so the enslavers position seems sympathetic and the original story is made about their victimhood. more directly, the episode portrays the plagues as evil satanist curses, and the villain's aim is to steal a baby which is sort of reminiscent of blood libel (very very old and long-lasting conspiracy theory about jews wanting to steal christian babies for their blood) though that may be more of a reach. i dont think percival is meant to be jewish, or is really in any way coded as jewish, this whole thing just twists the story in a very unfortunate way that should have been examined by the writers during production, and the fact that it wasnt really betrays how little thought jewish people are given in the production of riverdale - a show based on a franchise by and about jews!! im just kinda sick of these jewishy jewy jew comics being made into something so constantly obsessed with christian anxieties and nothing else like i love christian anxieties theyre fascinating but couldnt there be stuff from other religions as well ANYWAY thats really by the by. what i mean is this is why jewish characters in the show or literally any reference to judaism aside from this new plotline wouldve made it a lot less of an issue like it wouldve shown they actually give a fuck and in this episode specifically it wouldve put an explicitly jewish character in the position of hero which wouldve diluted the unfortunate message the episode leans towards. its a really fun episode though overall id recommend it just keep this stuff in mind i guess :)
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Prey (Predator Movie) Spoiler Free Review
Overview: So, I have had my expectations subverted you could say. 
That is to say, everything I thought was going to be wrong with this movie wasn’t really ‘wrong’ and everything I expected to be good was bad. If I had to give this movie a sarcastic title it would be Trope Hunt. 
And really that’s Prey in a nutshell.  The culmination of when a franchise that has been traded back and forth and has gotten progressively less entertaining and further from it’s source material since the first instalment established it, gets handed to a direct to streaming service group that takes some...liberties, with the look and idea, and spits it out as a mess of tropes derived from various portions of the franchise in a big muddled directionless mess.
And it’s a shame, because the general idea was a good idea, it’s just simply wasted. So onto the review. Spoiler free of course.
Plot (2/5) Your general Pred plot. Hunter is dropped off on Earth to hunt, ends up encountering group of humans. Mayhem ensues. Problem is, its all done wrong. 
Why is the Pred hunting in what looks like a fairly mild temperate snow capped mountainous area devoid of major conflict? Don’t know, guess the whole “Only hunts in the hottest of times and where there is conflict” stuff gets tossed right out the window. Why is the Pred dead set on killing hapless animals right in front of obviously more intelligent humans and revealing itself? Don’t know, we need scenes of animal dismemberment I guess. How do the random Euro trappers know its there? Never explained, just shut up and watch ‘ugly bad white man from Europe’ trope and don’t ask questions. Why does the main character want to be a hunter? Because everyone in this fucking movie except her mom is a hunter, I guess. 
Characters (1/5) I’d give this a 2 if the movie had been about the older brother, because he’s the only character in this that has kind of an arc. All I’m going to do is list the characters as tropes because that’s what they are plain and simple.
Wants to Hunt- Main character, you can tell Disney owns the company that owns this license. Princess like trope of quirky snarky above average intelligence girl, wants to hunt real bad because reasons, with an animal sidekick. Upside is, despite what the trailers made it seem, she’s not the standard OP “Strong Female” trope. She just has no character beyond Wants to Hunt Older Cool Brother- Should have been main character. Spends movie doing what everyone else says they are good at doing but he is the only one good at it. Why? Because he’s the older brother. I mean, obviously right?  Asshole to main character for no reason 1,2 and 3-side characters that are obnoxiously mean and critical to Wants to Hunt, because they are.  Fuck-Ugly Euro dudes 1,2 and 3- Also Assholes, kill buffalo needlessly because Dances with Wolves said that’s what they did all the time. Needlessly shitty to everyone, obviously bad, because, well, ummm... White Man in Native American movie?  Predator: Well...its there. It kills shit. Often times pointlessly. 
Effects (0/5) Shitty streaming service original CGI. I mean its worse than the average for this type of thing. I’m not expecting Marvel level here, but at one point The CGI bear literally loses it’s fur texture and runs like its got a corn cob in it’s ass. Also Pred has random CGI moments (and its face)  Complete shit looking. Half the kills in this movie happen in the blink of an eye or off screen with little to no gore. Not even sure how this movie got an R rating. I think AVP was more violent.
Action (3/5) Highest score of the movie. Some of the scenes are well done, and the part with the Pred chasing Wants to Hunt and Asshole #3 through the field was actually a bit frightening. Beyond that, tame killing sequences and lack luster jump cuts. Most of the blood in the movie seemed to come from the Pred as it literally makes a habit of getting skewered, shanked, stabbed, shot, wolf trapped and bit every time its on screen. Also what the fuck perfectly balanced stone tomahawk with matrix physics. Because...that’s a thing.
Music (1/5) This movie has music, I think...
Predator (0/5) Remember when I said the things I thought would be good where what turned out to be bad? This is the crux of that. Even at the worst lowest points of the other Pred movies, we have always been assured of having a badass alien hunter who will eventually spawn lines of collectable figurines and cool gif memes. Not so here. The “redesign” is atrocious. No more ‘Predlocks’ just basic bitch hair, and a weird gaping hole of a maw face with stubby mandibles that was so terribly animated and designed I wanted to claw my eyes out every time it was on screen without a helmet. 
This Pred also had to have been the participation award kid in hunting school. Not only does it needlessly reveal itself by pointlessly killing less dangerous creatures in front of people (or leaving its kills randomly around to be found), but this cat takes more damage for no other reason than it jumps right into traps, and in front of armed and dangerous foes just so it can get...injured, I guess? 
Remember when Jungle Hunter could see all the traps laid out for it? Remember when City hunter stalked down and killed a bunch of heavy armed Special Forces dude in a meat factory without a scratch? Well this guy cant even kill a random wolf without getting hurt. And jumping into a circle of French trappers armed with muskets? Well apparently that was an off day given how hard of a time it had with that. 
Final Score/Summary (Worst Pred movie ever): Prey is, at the end of the day terrible. I wont even score it because it shouldn’t even exist. Every character is a One Dimensional Trope. The Pred looks, hunts and fights like shit, and the plot gets lost in a slew of derivative clichés that go no where, and exist in the movie because “reasons”
If I had to guess, I would say this is the result of a bunch of Streaming Service no names, who one night got together, binged all the pred movies (And also the B-movie knock offs) then went and read a bunch of random fan-wiki articles, slapped a bunch of the tropes together and said “This is what Pred fans like right?”
 Look! The Pred skinned something! That’s a thing! Look, some one said a One Liner from the other movies! That’s a thing! Look, Wrist Blades coming out in front of the camera! Look, the tri-laser sight! Look, People setting traps! Look he loses his helmet at the end! wE mAkE gOoD pReDaToR mOvIe! What? What’s that? What’s the movie about? Ummm hey look Native Americans! Awesome movie right? Right?
Total garbage. Not even a guilty pleasure like the AVP movies. I may even make a ‘how to fix it” post at some point because I feel the need to correct this pile of fail in my brain so I can sleep, and Natives battling Preds in the distant past deserves better.
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magpiejay1234 · 1 year
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So, I watched Shun vs. LDS trio. Let’s talk about it.
I would normally how this episode is relevant in the metanarrative of the storyline, but let’s ignore that for a second.
Let’s talk about how the odds are in favour of Shun. No, I’m not kidding.
*I’m not going to go over the power level difference, because trained guerilla commander vs. upper-class schoolchildren with good marks is not an even comparison.
*Secondly, Raidraptor - Rise Falcon. Your initial assumption would be that, since it is a Rank 4 monster, it is equivalent to a Level 4 monster. If you think that, you have a good job a Yugituber who whines about casual fans without having any knowledge about the franchise besides the collector market. Non, darling. A Rank 4 monster with three materials is actually equivalent to a Level 12 (4+4+4=12), and while Rise Falcon’s materials are not upper tier Level 4 monsters, the gang’s Level barely qualify as equivalent (Hokuto has the best shot in theory ironically, but he technically used the weakest materials possible to Summon Ptolemy).
*Another issue the nature of the archetypes. In case you have noticed, the gang didn’t use a whole lot of back row cards, even though they havee some of the better Duel Terminal archetypes in this term. Why is that you may wonder. Well, remember the magic word “Duel Terminal”. As our lovely Rata reminds us, Duel Terminal archetypes are meant to beatsticky to match the nature of Duel Terminal metagame. They can work in regular rules, but sub-optimally.
Now, what kind of archetypes Shun was fighting against? Mostly GX ones, my personal favourites of course. Which are known to be beatsticky. It is almost he was training for this specific moment in-universe for almost a year.
Now let’s talk about Summoning, and why this episode is such a pain in the ass:
*In the transition from 5D’s to ZEXAL, Konami adopted a rule of a soft-reboot, and made several cards that would cancel Synchros to force people to adopt Xyz. Normally, same should happen here, but it can’t. Why? Not only Konami invested heavily in Xyz Monsters by this point, so we can’t really go back. But also, as we discussed earlier, the Holactie-damned protagonist of the show’s main Summoning method will be Xyz. So, let’s talk about the tomatoman himself.
*Yuya’s Xyz Monsters will not go beyond Rank 7, and generally won’t require more than 2 materials, which makes him, in theory, weaker than many ZEXAL characters on his own (this won’t hold up in practice since the show will go out of its way to have him beat Kaito, but let’s remain here for a minute). However, the protagonist of the previous show’s monsters also don’t go beyond Rank 6 (since Utopic Dragon is more associated with his spirit partner, Astral), making Yuya, with Yuto’s assistance, the theoretically stronger Xyz user than the protagonist of the Xyz show, in paper, but also in reality (Yuma never beat Kaito, Yuya did beat Kaito). 
We won’t talk about how Shun is utilized as the superior Rank-Up-Magic user to Yuma either, since that is a different can of worms.
*And therein lies the problem of ARC-V in a nutshell. Because of the nature of Pendulum Summoning in-universe, we can’t actually market it as the cool new Summoning method, we must utilize existing ones, specifically, and overwhelmingly, Fusion, less overwhelmingly Xyz, and very occasionally Synchro, and almost never Ritual, or Tribute.
But since the amount of Xyz users is tiny, but we must promote Xyz because that is the protagonist’s choice of Summon (and Reiji’s preffered Summoning method, potentially Sawatari’s in the future as well, but for now my boy prefers Links because he is smart), the few Xyz Summoners there are must get tons of attention, and support for their cards, to be even equivalent to the vast, vast amount of Fusion users.
*This specific matchup between LDS trio and Shun is also kind of absurd since all three archetypes were quite literally the forerunners of Xyz Summoning (M-X-Saber Invoker is still banned lol), but also their very recent support for at least two of the members of the trio could c*ck Shun bad, and we would look a different sequence of events, where LDS trio barely manage to win, DON’T get promotion because of their below average performance, and basically become Reiji’s odd errand guys while keeping Shun away from quoting Communist Manifesto to everyone in the not-Miami.
...Actually that sounds kinda awesome. That should have gone with that route. It would make MUCH more sense in the context of Maiami Championship, and it would set up Sawatari’s idolization of Shun much earlier. You could go even further and have Hokuto be carded by Serena, and make THAT the reason Masumi would defect to Academia, and have Yaiba as Yuya neurotic Synchro coach as a parallel to his relationship with Gongenzaka.
*While the issue regarding the lack of Pendulums in the Pendulum show has now been covered with the introduction of new Pendulum archetypes in VRAINS era, and Series 11, the Grandfather Clause ARC-V created still hurts quite a lot, and serves as a huge obstacle for ARC-V archetypes getting Pendulums. There are probably more Pendulum archetypes introduced after ARC-V than in ARC-V.
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smokeybrand · 1 year
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Scooby Dooby Don’t
I feel like I'm piling on with this post but, f*ck, is Velma bad! It is every bit as terrible as you’ve heard, and has uniquely offended every one. I’m talking both side of the aisle and it’s kind of insane. I’ve seen cats talking about how Mindy Kaling, voice of the titular Velma Dinkley and executive producer of this show, is some sort of deep cover, radical Conservative, who created this show specifically to be a parody of everything the Left looks for in content. I read a whole ass article that basically said Kaling is a self-hating Indian woman because all of her characters are basically self-hating Indian women and that’s a fair analysis. What has that got to do with Velma? Probably a lot but I'm not here to unpack Kaling’s personal issues. I’m just her to tell you this show is f*cking awful!
Now, don’t misunderstand me, I'm not here for this superficial outrage. All of this “woke” diversity sh*t is not a problem for me. I love a re-imagining and making these characters racially diverse is a thing that i am more than okay with, red-headed, ambiguously Asian, Daphne Blake aside. I like the subversion of Shaggy, for the most part. Norville is probably my favorite character in this show and that’s only because he’s redeemable. I mean, the dude is a total simp for Velma, much to his detriment, but Shaggy is, quite literally, the only likable character (if you can call him that) in this entire goddamn show. Everyone on this cast is abhorrent. It’s like someone drunkenly said in some Hollywood party, “Hey, what if Scooby-Doo but Always Sunny? And way worse?” That’s Velma in a nutshell. That’s the entire f*cking show, right there.
The writing is f*cking atrocious. It's not clever or funny and is just kind of what you'd expect a modern sixteen year old would make if they were penning a Scooby-Doo fan fic. Like, i didn’t laugh at anything in this show. Not once. Not even a chuckle. It was edgy cringe, the whole way through. This sh*t is written in the most derivative, performative progressive, corporate woke way possible. I’m watching this show and it feels like I'm looking at all the Rainbow Flags being flown over f*cking Disney during Pride Month. Watching this feels no different than Nike posting a bunch of MLK quotes over whatever new Zoom Air product poster their releasing, in February. This woke bullsh*t says the thing but doesn’t go any deeper. It’s recognizable as “progressive” but doesn’t earn any of the weight which goes with that. I mean, Daphne and Velma kiss at the end of episode f*cking two. That right there is your “safe” LBGTQ+ representation. At the end of the second f*cking episode. Unearned. Inorganic. Just shoved in there because, gay needed to be checked off the list.
It’s all just dick jokes and terrible pacing and f*cking nonsensical tomfoolery. Nothing is funny. Nothing is compelling. This show is just a mess but the most egregious transgression committed by Velma is the fact that Velma Dinkley is the absolute worst! She is, without a doubt, the worst f*cking character in this entire f*cking show, and it’s HER show! How can your title character be this goddamn unlikable? Velma in this show, resembles no other iteration of the character. Because she’s not. This Velma is every other character Mindy Kaling has ever played, which is just her. This Velma IS Mindy. She’s a self insert and acts just like every other character Mindy has written, because all she writes IS herself. There is no difference between Velma or Mindy Lahiri or Bela from that other show Kaling produced, The Sex Lives of College Girls. If you’re Indian in a Mindy Kaling production, you’re going to be a self-insert whether it’s prudent to the script or not. And she got away with this sh*t for years because, you know, it was HER sh*t. Now it’s not. Now it’s Scooby-Doo, a franchise that has been established for more than fifty f*cking years. When an franchise has been around that long, with so many different iterations of those principal characters, your lack of nuance and creativity molding one of the core cast is definitely going to stand out. Velma is so goddamn bad, cats are questioning Mindy’s entire career. That’s how bad she f*cked this up.
Who is this for? Its too woke for the Right and too poorly written for everyone else. Like, don’t misunderstand me, this is a bad show. It was bad on the page before the sh*t even got ethnically diverse onscreen. Everything in this show feels like it was focus-grouped for Zoomers and Alphas, and then no one listened to the feedback. They just went off some notes they got from the Old Twatter guard. Those Bluehairs and Checkmarks and the like. How is this thing so goddamn bad? Harley Quinn is everything this show wants to be and done correctly. SO much goddamn gay in that show but no one complains about any of it. SO much ethnic diversity and big ass female energy coursing throughout, not a peep from those more Conservative viewers. Because it’s good. Because the writing is witty, satirical, genuine, and earnest. This is what Adult animation is supposed to be, not just gratuitously violent, overtly sexual in very problematic ways, and chock full of mic drop F-bombs just for the f*ck of it. This is written like some wish fulfillment from the chubby goth girl that no one talked to in high school. Velma is the Twlight-ification of Scooby-Doo and it's f*cking terrible because of that.
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obsessedwvampbois · 3 years
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𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐋 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬
Oh boy so this is gonna make people really mad. I have listened to a total of 52 songs from the Diabolik Lovers franchise (that I could find) and ranked them for the hell of it. For this ranking I will be including all character songs, openings (both anime and game) along with the remixes. I will not be counting solo versions of songs (eg. Gin no bara), soundtrack bgm or the endings themes.
My ranking is based on these things:
how well does the song fit the character/s or game, both in lyrics and aesthetic
the overall production and performance of the song
is the song a bop? would I willingly listen to it again?
Couple of disclaimers: I do not speak Japanese so I will be crediting the translations of each song as I go through them along with any think pieces / essays that I come across. If there is any song I missed, please let me know and I’ll slot it into the rankings, its hard to find one source that has all the songs recorded. Finally, just a reminder because I know I'm gonna make someone mad, this is my list! If you don't like it make your own or ignore mine, I'm only one person and my opinion is not final!
With that in mind, my rankings are below the cut
*Least Best*
These are the songs I will probably never listen to again. I have a few gripes with them that I'll talk about in my explanation.
52. 誓いのカンパネラ (Chikai no Campanella)
Shu, Ayato & Subaru
~translation~
This song is just super underwhelming overall. The guitar is my favourite thing about the song but that's it. There is so much build up for a boring chorus. The lyrics don't have much for me either.
51. 血戦のDies irae (Kessen no Dies irae)
Tsukinami Brothers
~translation~
On the opposite end, this song is so overwhelming. There are so many elements to follow and its hard to keep up. This is the first time I'll bring it up but the volume of the voices is so quiet compared to the backing track, its frustrating. The lyrics is what brings it up a notch as it talks about the day of wrath (dies irae) as the day the founders take over. I was also low key hoping to hear some version of the dies irae song hidden in the background but I couldn't hear any.
50. S.O.S-ΑtoΩ-
Tsukinami Brothers
~translation~
This song just feels so forgettable, I just feel like there isn't much to comment on. There are some interesting lyrics sprinkled out like comparing literal self mutilation to abstinence. Also the actual delivery of 'S ah O ah S ah', I can't take it seriously.
49. Dystopia
Kino
~translation~
This had an interesting start because I hadn't heard anything similar for DL but then after a few lines the tone change was just a nope for me. Again, Kino's voice is super quiet and the constant barrage of all these instruments that don't really gel together its confusing. Overall, it didn't leave much of an impression and I couldn't really visualised DL in the song.
48. 吸愛ラビリンス (Kyūai Labyrinth)
Shu, Ayato & Subaru
~translation~
Praise for the saxophone! Props to that because it shines here and is really the only memorable thing besides that final line of the chorus. The song does give the vibe of the Vandead Carnival with its more playful energy though. The lyrics feel really typical, like there are so many times I read lyrics about drinking blood before I get bored.
47. 極限(UNLIMITED) BLOOD -Remix ver.-
Shu, Ayato & Subaru
~translation w/ original ver.~
I don't think I really need to hear EDM/dubstep and Diabolik Lovers again thanks. It feels super dated and the vocoded singing is a little much for my taste. Good source material and the stripped back vocals at some points is quite nice.
46. 愛しきPain (Itoshiki Pein)
Subaru
~translation~
First off please never let me see Subaru near a fedora again thanks. Overall I felt bored with this song, like its nice, but that it. There are similar sounding songs that just hit home similar themes a lot stronger later on. The best part of this song is the spoken word but it feels weird for Subaru to be singing such a slow song.
45. Luv Apple Juice
Ruki & Azusa
~translation~
Yes, I am counting Ruki's spoken word, its my list. Lyrics are a must read with references to Adam, Eve and Eden throughout. Again, the voices are super quiet and with how fast paced the instrumentals are its annoying. The tempo also backfires because these are two of the more 'chill' characters. The last complaint is that the speed of Ruki's speaking compared to Azusa's singing just isn't right.
44. DIE IS CAST
Kou & Yuma
~translation~
This has to be my least favourite opening to a song, the staccato is just really grating to me. The way I'd describe the chorus is loud, the same note over and over again isn't appealing. The lyrics are an interesting read but nothing feels super important. The highlight of the song is the pre-chorus, thanks production!
43. カレイドナイト (Kaleido Night)
Kanato & Subaru
~translation~
This song is just generic, like overall. The sound, the lyrics, the production. There just wasn't must for me to listen to without zoning out.
*Average*
These songs don't leave too much of a lasting impression on me, but I still enjoy them.
42. 苺の罪 (Ichigo no Tsumi) (strawberry sin)
Reiji
~translation~
First of the generic rock songs! I couldn't really find much in the lyrics of note I think the actual performance of the song is my favourite element here.
41. 真夜中の饗宴( MIDNIGHT PLEASURE) -Remix ver.
Shu, Ayato & Subaru
~translation w/ original~
One the best part of the original is that opening section with the steps, it creates some nice anticipation for the coming song. The chorus this time round feels a little low energy after the hype of the pre-chorus. After watching the actual opening with the remix, I kind of wish they had the voice over, the song is so chill the last chorus could have it to make it feel more grandiose.
40. ZERO
Subaru
~translation~
Second generic rock song, this time it actually suits Subaru's brand! The lyrics do have some hints to Subaru as a character which is better. My sustaining thought is that this sounds like an off brand Arcadia.
39. Bloody★Mayim★Mayim
Sakamaki Brothers
~translation~
This has to have one of the strongest hooks for DL. For how many people sing in the song, it's easy to keep track of and the chemistry between them all is in sync. The main issue is that it feels like its missing some element to make it shine, the lyrics aren't in-depth too which brings it down another peg. The bridge/interlude is the best part though as I can visualise some mini story within the song here.
38. ADDICTED (2) PHANTOM
Ayato
~translation~
This song would be so much higher if I felt like it was more memorable cuz the lyrics here really shine. My interpretation is that this is Ayato questioning where his love stops and his sadistic nature to satiate his desires begin, can he separate the two? He both loves and despises the idea of draining his s/o dry. Another gripe with the song is that its not quite Ayato's aesthetic sonically.
37. Kindan no 666 (Three Six)
Kou & Azusa
~translation~
What puts this song so low is the majority of the instrumental, it takes a backseat here when I feel there could be more added. Props to percussion, drums are great though. After watching the MB opening so many times its hard to not see DL. Lyrics match with this one line here describing Kou in a nutshell:
"Sin spread from mouth to mouth, saying 'I’ll be gentle' pulls the trigger on a casual disaster!"
36. Iolite (アイオライト )
Shu
~translation~
I don't know why the producers associate electro-pop with Shu, I can't really see it much. I think they should have gone full glitch-pop instead considering how the song does a deep dive into his mind and thought process. Again, I think the voice is also quiet here but the instrumentals have some great moments, especially the strings.
35. 常夜KNOW UNDERSKIN
Sakamaki
~translation~
Well this gives Sakamaki vibes, nice guitar! Again, I like how it isn't overwhelming despite the amount of people involved. Lyrics aren't super impactful but super catchy.
34. 冷たい血 (Tsumetai Chi)
Ruki
~translation~
You have to read the lyrics while reading this, please! Its surprisingly wholesome and emotional overall. Again, there is the issue of the voice being way to quiet as the instrumentals swallow him whole after the second clock tick. The delivery is really well timed and production does a great job adding elements that works with the lyrics. There is a subtle echo to the voice that feels super enchanting as he comes to terms with the fact that he has fallen in love. Biggest drawback obviously is that this is just spoken word.
33. KISS♥MARK
Shu
~translation~
This song delves into the more perverse side of Shu, but we haven't really reached the level of Laito (we'll get there). The phone feels a little out of character but it suits that narrative. The straight cut out of music for the intermission was a bit abrasive but the transition back to music makes me forget about that with how slick it is. At least its better than a generic rock song.
32. カモフラージュ (Camouflage)
Shu & Laito
~translation~
What a great match up for subject matter, my interpretation is a denial and inability to accept oneself, ultimately using a mask to hide. So please look up the lyrics for some gems. However, after the 'against the blood' nothing really hit that same point sonically, furthermore its not the most aesthetically fitting for the two characters.
*Great*
These songs I actively enjoy, think about and do listen to occasionally and would recommend you check it out too.
31. >REDRUM<-
Ayato & Subaru
~translation~
This song is full of anagrams in the lyrics, I mean look at the song title. Its super catchy and is hard to forget about. The bridge is the weakest part of this song but it is made up by the distortion of vocals after the final chorus.
30. Fanatic of Night
Sakamaki Brothers
~translation~
Well time to party, talk about a bop and a half! Its just so fun, even though its to exactly DL to me, but that's Lunatic Parade for you. Shout out to the guitarist and percussion once again.
29. Bad Howling
Shu, Ayato & Kou
~translation~
This is super catchy, its nice to hear Kou in the opening song this time round, it spices things up. Theres some really nice elements played with the vocals as they sing over one another that is really well balanced. The biggest peg down is that I don't get super DL vibes and the lyrics aren't the deepest.
28. I.M.I.T.A.T.I.O.N. G.A.M.E
Kino
~translation~
Overall this song is a little generic and doesn't sound like DL but! There is a lot to love here too. Starting off with the performance, I really like the vibrato in his voice and the decent of notes at the end of the chorus is just, yes. It a nice hook and the lyrics are pretty good too. My only other complaint is that the drums mask some smaller elements in the background of the song which would have been nice to hear more in the forefront.
27. 極限(UNLIMITED) BLOOD
Shu, Ayato & Subaru
~translation~
This is where the rankings get pretty hard cuz I wish this was higher but oh well. the dramatic shift from the opening piano to the song is so abrupt but it gets you pumped. The intermission does a good job of changing things up without cutting tension. The lyrics themselves seem to be from the view of the Adam project during more blood and the unquenchable thirst they get in the story.
26. アルカディア (Arcadia)
Ayato
~translation~
Immediately I get Ayato vibes from this song and the rapping does help too with a nice flow that isn't too jarring from the rest of the song. These lyrics are basically Addicted2Phantom on steroids, I can't see anyone else other than Ayato in them.
25. Kekkyoku Night
Ayato
~translation~
Don't know why but the guitar melody just seems like I had heard it before but I can't put my finger on it. The bass is super slick here and I really enjoy it. The vocal distortion at the start of the verse sets a scene for him to hunt down this person and its a narrative choice. The main issue is that I wish there was a little more pizzaz to the chorus.
24. Kaikan DEATH-TRUCTION
Kanato
~translation~
Spoilers but I have placed both a Kanato's songs pretty high up so this was a little bit of a let down after the other two. The main issues here is that I don't really get too much of Kanato in the song and the yelling before the chorus is a little much. This, to me, is a self reflection from Kanato which is a good switch up from his last two songs. Overall, the song is abrasive in a good way that isn't overwhelming and the 8-bit section is my fave.
23. 血濡れた密会 (BLOODY SABBATH)
Laito
~translation~
Oh boy, look these lyrics up for a good time. This song is about his hook up with a women with the song getting progressively darker as it goes on. Nice psycho reference but I don't know if it does much in the end. Really catchy hook and the escalation of the final chorus is just so good. Also I'm just going to leave this line from the song here:
“You wend all out with the rodeo girl play? So then, let’s grind!!!”
22. 幻日理論-Parhelion Logic
Ayato
~translation~
This song is meant to be kind of an open letter to Cordelia and my word these lyrics are haunting. It fits the vibe of Haunted Dark Bridal so well, super strong overall. I just wish there was a stronger performance vocally.
21. 暴言シンドローム (Seiron Syndrome)
Yuma
~translation~
Yuma, to me has some pretty good observation skills and its really highlighted here. The first line just hits the nail on the head in terms of how rough he is both in and out of the bedroom. This song is the best of the 'generic rock' with production being really smooth despite the high energy, it matches him really well. First line:
The pain of your sprained neck won’t subside
20. 蠱惑のParade (Kowaku no Parade)
Reiji & Kanato
~translation~
We got another catchy banger here! This song just screams 'the two of us are here to hunt you down and we won't stop till we get a taste.' I mean this song is super pleasing aesthetically and great lyrics to boot!
19. KILLYOU,AGAIN
Azusa
~translation~
The strings are an immediate attention grabber and its hold it throughout the whole song. Super catchy, and these lyrics are Azusa, especially this chorus. Id be interested to hear what people think about the second verse in particular cuz there's a lot to read into:
"In a worn out state of mind, no matter how many nights we question it... We’ve idealised too much."
18. SQueeze…
Subaru
~translation~
Okay before anything else, the squeeze at the start is goofy, I can't take it seriously. Anyway, I can't help but tap my foot to this song. Third times the charm, finally hitting Subaru's aesthetic to a T. The voice is a little quiet on the track but what takes over just sounds so good. The contrast of the bell and the guitar is just, yes thank you. The pre-chorus is a nice mix up to the status quo and these lyrics are great too.
17. 愛の檻 (Ai no Ori)
Ayato & Laito
~translation~
The opening is a nice tone setter for a haunting head bopper. These voices work together so well, just like how the sirens work with the strings. The singular violin during the bridge is great, praise to anyone who can do that my god. The string motif climaxes at the final chorus and it creates an awesome song!
16. 月蝕(Eclipse)
Kou, Yuma & Azusa
~translation~
Well we have a nice build up ballad here. The opening is a little out of place but I forget about it as it builds to this final chorus with the tempo getting faster and faster. The stripped back production also ends up aiding the song in the end with its punches and message. Speaking of which; I get the idea this is about watching some either currently or in retrospective how their personality changes after turning into a vampire; a loss of innocence. How fitting for the Mukami's.
“Despising the sunlight that filters through the blinds is only inevitable, I suppose”
*Faves*
This is what I think the best of the best is. It reflects the themes, ideas and characters of Diabolik Lovers in the best way possible. When people ask me what music from the franchise to listen to, I point to these songs.
15. Count off
Kino
~translation~
There is so much to talk about here, this is a mix of singing and spoken piece and it works so well for me. The delivery over this contagious beat I can't help but get hints of a k-pop vibe here. The movement to singing then vocoded voice are interesting and fun. The bridge switch up too is great, my only wish is that the choir hand a little more presence in the final chorus cuz its fun the first times round, it would be a nice call back.
14. A Certain Prophet's Fate [とある預言者の、運命 Toaru Yogensha no Unmei]
Reiji
~translation~
I can visualise a Nutella Kookie moodboard with this opening alone. To me, this is Reiji explain his views on women with allusions to Faust too, not the Ikemen version relax. there are some cool allusions to his mother in the lyrics too. The bass is so cool to listen out for and the guitar nodding to the chorus at the end is a nice way to end. I was just hoping for a little continuation to the opening like Reiji finding this person escaping on horseback.
13. CHAOS☆PARTY
Laito
~translation~
Aaaaaand another innuendo song from Laito, what a surprise! The jazzy, circus-pop vibes are super fun and catchy, I love it. It's like an upgraded version of Bloody Sabbath to me. The distortion on the guitar is also great to listen out for.
"Don’t decide where’s the critical point, grind as you feel it,
Till the moon oh, mockingly"
12. Mr.ButterflyMask
Reiji
~translation~
The opening may be cliche but it works so well, this is such a deep dive into Reiji's psyche; his mother, inferiority complex and village burning to name a few. The actual song is easy to remember which makes it even better here, the descending notes at the end of the chorus is a highlight.
"Burnt black, that awful land mark"
11. 真夜中の饗宴 (MIDNIGHT PLEASURE)
Shu, Ayato & Subaru
~translation~
The song to start it all, thank god it's such a highlight. I get so hyped from hearing the opening footsteps; mirroring the prologue with You stepping into the mansion for the first time. I feel so nostalgic for this and I'm hyped to play the game every time I hear this. The spoken section is the high point in terms of the HDB aesthetic but these lyrics maaaannn:
"With a scream that shatters the moon itself I’ll give you this extraordinary pain called “love”!"
10. Guilty×Guilty!!!
Shu, Ayato & Subaru
~translation~
I'm gonna get crucified for putting this above midnight pleasure but my list and this is my fave game op. The only peg down is the lyrics but it makes up so much for the actual sound variation. The unnerving energy from this scifi-y noise, it screams danger with the Tsunami arrival. The variation between the two verses in robs what places it high and the bridge is excellent to boot.
9. Farewell Song
Shu
~translation~
If I had to make one song recommendation outside of DL with this list it is this song here. The lyrics and melody match up the same way and both are strong in their own right. Onto the song, these lyrics really shine wrangling with ideas and the thought process of depression; something that hits close to home for me. With the inclusion of the destructive nature vampires its truely impactful. The sound of the song aids these lyrics too while all sounding like Shu.
Without pause, the drops of a drizzle had begun to weep...
...Comforting the screams of the things you’ve touched"
8. Mr.SADISTIC NIGHT
Shu, Ayato & Subaru
~translation~
This is my favourite opening of all the games and anime and it is the most on theme with the DL franchise, not just the one game. The guitar rifts at the start are just sooooo iconic. The actual line "Mr Sadistic Night" is delivered so well too. I mean the song speaks for itself. I will make the observation though that this song is the epitome of kids unknowingly singing a song with dirty lyrics.
"If I’m so aroused by the snare of your enticing blood
Tonight, as I thrust deep into you, a lust for death awakens from within you!"
7. 悪魔的(Devil's)Spire!!!!
Kou
~translation~
This song is just Kou at his best, I can imagine him singing this at a concert as a debut single. It has all the elements of a catchy pop song with some sinister elements that just reflects his personality. Production has my praise here too. The song seems to be a friends with benefits situation Kou has as he recounts the tale. Also, more innuendos:
"In the deep red velvet sheets, Do you want to taste my forbidden syrup?"
6. Operation X
Tsukinami Brothers
~translation~
Haven't seen these guys in a while! You can tell production had fun adding all these medical sounds in the back like the sirens and heart monitor. The song itself is super catchy too, that bass just hits you at the core! The lyrics look like the Tsukinami's observation of You as she has become entangled with all these vampires and the situation just seems to spiral even more out of control.
"The risk spreads further the deeper you get involved...
...The more you give up, the more that guy mocks you"
5. GRATEFUL★DEAD★MARCH
Kanato
~translation~
Production had fun again, you can tell. It's more upbeat there is still a sinister vibe here. The constant switch ups within the song all flow so well. I feel genuine despair listening to this chorus, like Kanato is mocking or toying with me before going in for the kill. My only complaint is that the slowing down at the end is a bit of a mood killer.
4. 切断★舞踏会 (KIRISAKI CARNIVAL)
Kanato
~translation~
In terms of character aesthetic, this is sheer perfection. There is a narrative within this song that you need to look at the lyrics for the best experience. The sound effects act as a good way to heighten the story as they match the lyrics. One moment to note it both the chorus and pre-chorus as they act as the extreme ends on Kanato's personality and it creates a great dichotomy when placed together.
3. Q.E.D.
laito
~translation~
My favourite solo song, and the one I constantly visit the most. Laito is a complex character and this song does a self reflection in the best way possible.I would also recommend reading this great analysis by everything laito because I can't do a proper analysis justice. For the song itself, the piano is a great mood setter as it acts as if we are approaching Laito as he plays the piano about to go into one of his many monologues to himself. The intercut from the piano to the guitar is abrupt but it works so well as if there are crack in his facade showing through. The change back to the piano is great too and isn't distracting in any way. I also think this is such an emotional performance, like I can feel the sadness and despair along with almost a self deprecating humour to the delivery. Top notch stuff
2. 罠-If You’re Diablo- (Wana -If You’re Diablo-)
Mukami Brothers
~translation~
I want mention first off that the spoken word from Ruki is such an aid here, the pace is slower, more haunting and despair-inducing in tone. The speaking adds a nice break to the vocals. The chorus in particular packs such a punch its kind of nice to lie on the ground and just let the song envelop you. The lyrics give the impression that there is a mutually destructive relationship here with the Mukami's mentioning of betrayal yet they suck the blood of this person. There is also a feeling of hopelessness that the Mukami's know they can never achieve their goal of becoming Adam.
"I'd been resigned to become Adam since who-knows-when...
I continue to hate this fate, my prayers in zero"
1. Gin no Bara
Sakamaki Brothers
~translation~
And we're finally at the end! This song encapsulates everything that Diabolik Lovers is. Vocally, it's really catchy with such a somber vibe, because that's what DL is. It's a dark series but you can see that darkness with each backstory, the actions these characters take and just the overall hopelessness in this one song. The Sakamaki's all singing together packs such a punch too. There are so many gems in these lyrics, to literally acknowledging the pain and suffering their mothers' caused and coming to terms with the actions they have committed as they fall in love.
"The proof remains on your neck while you sleep quietly Even if an eternal curse awaits me beyond those overflowing tears
I now hold this love and pain in my chest"
*SHOUTOUTS*
I want to give a huge shout out to the following people. They have helped immensely with translation and just overall accessibility to the songs because they would be 1000 times more harder to find without them.
Silvermoon249 (Live Journal)
Asyqin98 Creator (YouTube)
S I s o v o l i (Youtube)
DIABOLIK LOVERS (YouTube)
Dialovers otaka (Tumblr)
Starlight voices (Tumblr)
Cannonette (Tumblr) @canonette
The Precious Sugar Chan (Tumblr)
One final note, I would recommend listening to these with headphones because the audio sometimes does that thing where it jumps from ear to ear and it creates the best effect to be more involved in the atmosphere.
64 notes · View notes
qitwrites · 3 years
Text
traditions
Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen 
Pairing: Itadori Yuuji/Fushiguro Megumi 
A/N: I caught up with the manga, and shit’s pretty fucked, so I decided to amend that with fluff. 
[AO3 Link]
Fushiguro - according to Kugisaki - is the textbook definition of a homosexual disaster.
No see, here’s the thing- everything was going fine. Great. No problems at all. Fushiguro respects his seniors, tolerates Gojo, and has the biggest soft spot for Inumaki, but he’s never been attracted to any one in his usual circle. So, school and sorcery and life in general was simple. No distractions, no crushes as such, no complications. All good.
And then Itadori Yuuji barges into his life and upends the fuck out of it by eating a special grade cursed object to save him. Then he joins Jujutsu Tech, and now they work and train and study and live alongside one another.
The thing is, Itadori is cute as fuck. 10/10 would tap that, any day of any week.
It’s not that Fushiguro has a type or anything, but Itadori just ticks all his boxes. When Todo had bullheadedly asked him what kind of person he likes, he’d said anyone with a strong moral compass that doesn’t waver in their resolve.
That’s Itadori in a nutshell.
Also, doesn’t hurt that he’s like, stupidly hot either. His raw physical prowess is reflected on his body in the form of shapely muscles, hard abs, and wide forearms that look like they could pick Fushiguro up and just throw him like a javelin. They actually can- Itadori had to do it for a mission this one time. Fushiguro enjoyed it immensely, and he will take this information with him to his grave.
So, not only is Itadori attractive and strong and of good character, but he’s also hella friendly. Fushiguro knows he’s not the easiest person to befriend- it takes a while for him to warm up to people, to share things about himself, to talk about the shitshow that is his family, but Itadori does not seem to give a single, flying fuck. He walks into Fushiguro’s life with the strength and ease of someone that just believes they belong. And Fushiguro lets him, because he is, as Kugisaki very accurately put it, a complete and utter homosexual disaster.
But it’s fine. Crushes happen all the time, and Fushiguro knows it’s hopeless and that’s ok. He knows Itadori likes him and cherishes their friendship, and that is enough. It will be. He’ll move on, and they’ll laugh about it in a few years (if they survive) and it’ll be great. In the meantime, he’s going to hole up in his room and read non-fiction books and stay away from pink hair and large toothy smiles.
Of course, the first person to fuck up his plans is Itadori.
It’s Saturday night, and dinner had been a simple meal of rice, miso soup and some sides made by Itadori. He’s a really good cook, and the home food is such a welcome change from the bento boxes Fushiguro normally picks up from the convenience store. Sometimes, Itadori will drag Fushiguro into the kitchen to teach him a thing or two, and Fushiguro learns, and pines, and smacks Itadori when he says something especially idiotic. It’s routine. It’s nice.
Dinner was an hour ago, and now he’s just curled up in bed with his book. It’s shaping up to be a typical weekend, which is nice considering the number of missions they picked up last week. His bones are aching a little, his feet are slightly sore, and he knows he’s going to sleep like the dead tonight.
He hears the knock even though it’s a bit soft. Fushiguro sits up and cocks his head. Was he imagining it?
And then there’s another knock, more confident. Thud thud thud.
Fushiguro climbs out of bed, setting his book aside carefully. He stretches his hands over his head and walks over to the door. ‘Coming.’
He swings it open, and he sees pink hair and his heart just sort of beats out of his chest.
‘Hiya.’ Itadori’s smile is wide, trusting, and full of gusto. He holds a packet of chips in one hand and a laptop in the other.  
‘What’s up?’
‘Are you busy?’
He should say he is. If he says he’s busy, then he doesn’t have to let Itadori in and he can continue with Operation: get over Itadori Yuuji. It’s the most logical move.
‘No, why do you ask?’ Well, apparently his brain has detached from his mouth.
‘Well, I overheard you telling Kugisaki that you’ve never seen the Saw movies and I realized something. Something terrible.’
Fushiguro tenses. ‘And what’s that?’
‘I can’t be best friends with someone that’s never seen Saw.’ Itadori pouts cutely, and Fushiguro is this close to just walking off the face of the Earth. He leans into the door frame, needing the additional support.
‘And I don’t want anyone else to be my best friend. So, the only solution is to make you watch Saw! With me! Like, right now.’
Fushiguro feels so much all at once- he wants to pull Itadori into a hug, he wants to jump off his balcony, he wants to slam the door shut and just cry, and he wants to watch stupid movies with this stupid man.
‘If you get crumbs on my bed, I’m going to kick you in the stomach.’
Itadori beams, and Fushiguro is a lost cause.
There’s a bit of adjusting (Fushiguro, your pillows are too hard, let me go grab mine) and a bit of remodelling (What do you mean we can’t make a blanket fort, that’s literally half the movie experience) and after relenting to a weird half-assed tent structure, the two of them huddle on the bed, backs against the wall, laptop placed on a chair by their feet with a bag of chips between them.
Saw is a terrible movie.
There’s gore and screaming and a creepy dude running around and it’s honestly just horrendous. The main character calls himself Jigsaw, and Fushiguro is tempted to flip the laptop after the hundredth blood spill. He looks over at Itadori who’s completely engrossed, eyes reflecting the colours and flashes of light on the screen. It’s cute, the concentration he’s pouring into it. His hand is stuck in the bag of chips and Fushiguro smacks it away to grab a few of his own.
Fushiguro does his best to watch and gets into it at least a little. It’s bad, but it’s not the worst way to spend a weekend night. He admits that a huge reason why the experience is kinda fun is that he’s doing something with Itadori that isn't life-threatening, which is a refreshing change.
The end credits start rolling and Itadori stretches his arms, fingers pushing through the droopy tent roof.
‘What did you think?’
‘I’ve seen worse.’
Itadori laughs. ‘I know what you mean. It grows on you though.’
‘There’s more?’
Itadori looks at him, blinks, cocks his head. ‘You didn’t know?’
Fushiguro shrugs. ‘I’ve never been a movie buff, so I have no information on this.’
‘Fushiguro.’
‘What?’
‘There’s 9 movies.’
Fushiguro’s mouth drops. ‘What?’
‘Yup, there’s nine in total, and the tenth one is in the making.’
‘Holy shit, that’s a lot of movies in one franchise.’
‘Yup. And we’re watching all of them.’
Fushiguro’s eyes widen. ‘What? No way. Nope. Not a chance. I can’t handle more of this, it was barely tolerable.’
‘It doesn’t matter! It’s the principle of the thing- you’ve started the series so you might as well see it through.’
‘9 movies? How can they possibly have enough content for that?’
‘It’s what they do. I promise it gets better and worse.’
Fushiguro sighs. ‘I’m not getting out of this, am I?’
Itadori pushes into his shoulder playfully. ‘Nope. I’m getting more snacks next time, let’s do two movies.’
Fushiguro sighs and runs a hand through his hair.
He’s really struggling to pretend like he’s upset with this development. He’s not upset. He’s honestly anything but.
---
Itadori comes back next Saturday with some blankets and a pillow tucked under one arm and a laptop in the other. He has a grocery bag with chips and sour patch kids hanging between his teeth and he still manages to smile. Fushiguro is so done.
‘Are you a dog?’ he grumbles, plucking the bag out of his face and setting it by the bed. Itadori gets to work immediately, setting up the pillows and his sad excuse for a blanket fort while Fushiguro brings a bowl for the chips and candy. Once they’ve settled in, Itadori starts the second movie and Fushiguro resigns himself to his fate.  
It’s really not that bad.
The movie is whatever, Fushiguro tunes in and out, alternating between watching the screen and sneaking looks at Itadori. He’s as engrossed as ever, and the tip of his tongue is sticking out in concentration and it’s so cute it makes Fushiguro want to curl up in his lap and squish him.
He’s crushing hard. Like, really hard. It’s about the gayest thing he’s ever experienced.
The movie pushes on, and they start to get more comfortable. Itadori isn’t a talker, which is surprising and nice, but when the movie lulls, he does make a joke or two. They sink lower into the bed, and by the end of the movie, they’re firmly pressed into each other from shoulder to thigh, with the bowl of chips on Fushiguro’s lap and the candy in Itadori’s.
Itadori is really warm. Could be his natural body heat, could be the king of curses residing within him, could be Fushiguro’s imagination- who’s to say at this point?
When the credits roll, Itadori stretches again like a cat in the sun, groaning his satisfaction. Fushiguro rubs his temples and wills away his blush.
‘What did you think?’
‘Not terrible, but honestly, what the fuck?’
‘That pretty much sums up the franchise.’
Itadori loads up the next movie while Fushiguro stays in position, comfortable. When he’s done, he leans back and makes himself comfortable against Fushiguro’s side, head leaning against his shoulder, his cheek pressed against bone. He looks smooshed, and it’s ridiculous.
If he gave a single shit about the movie, he’d ask him to move because he’s so far gone now there’s no way he’d pay attention at all.
Fushiguro doesn’t say a word, just sends up a silent prayer that Itadori remains there, pushed into him and all up in his space, for the rest of the evening.
That’s exactly what he does.
---
Fushiguro’s feet are burning.
The soles are achy all over, tender and jolty. Any time he walks, he suppresses a hiss of pain. When he’d taken a look, the entire sole was an angry red, and he’s just so annoyed.
The week had been tough- tons of running around and multiple search and rescue missions and this one tenacious curse that he and Itadori had to chase for several miles before finally exorcising it. By the end of it all, his feet were burning like a low fire in the pits of hell.
Itadori is fine, as always. It’s probably an incredible combination of his own inherent athleticism and lord dipshit within him, but Itadori heals at an accelerated pace, and like, he came back from the dead. Sore feet would be nothing to this guy.
When Itadori knocks on the door as always, an hour after Saturday night dinner, Fushiguro just calls out, ‘Come in.’ He really doesn’t want to walk to the door, so he’d left it open intentionally.
Itadori struggles to open the door on his own, arms filled with so much stuff it’s overflowing everywhere, and that horribly lovely smile is still stretched across his face and Fushiguro is just so smitten it’s ridiculous.
Itadori throws a few pillows in his direction, places a frankly ridiculous amount of snacks at the foot of the bed, and starts building his fort. Fushiguro is yet to help him with this, to actually put in any effort and make it with him rather than just watch him with a bemused smirk, but part of him knows that if he joins in, he’s admitting to something. He’s admitting that he’s invested. That he likes this as much as Itadori, probably so much more. That he likes Itadori so much, it’s all-consuming.
Itadori gives him the laptop while he makes some finishing touches on the fort, and he’s gotten better over the last few weeks. The tent is less saggy, with more room to move around and its range is expanding. It no longer covers just the bed, it extends to his desk and is inching towards his closet. Itadori is taking over his room, his heart, his brain, his life. He keeps taking and taking and taking, and Fushiguro just gives him more, happily, heartbreakingly, with all the love and nonchalance and patience he can muster.
He’s so whipped he’s giving Kugisaki a headache. She’s told him as much, repeatedly.
He’s got the final Saw movie prepped and ready to go, positioning the laptop on the chair as usual. Itadori grabs the bowls and decants their snacks before sitting next to Fushiguro, his head automatically resting on the man’s shoulders. Fushiguro rests his head on Itadori’s soft pink hair, breathing in the scent of the shampoo Itadori always steals from Kugisaki, and muffles a laugh. It’s so silly.
They’re about mid-way through the movie (by movie 9 there’s no milking the plot, it’s them just beating a dead horse ruthlessly) when Fushiguro shifts his legs and his feet bump into the chair, and he bites out a yelp of pain. Itadori sits up immediately, eyebrows furrowed in concern.
‘You ok?’
Fushiguro waves him down, wincing. ‘Yes, yes, I’m fine, don’t worry about it.’
‘Did you stub your toe? That’s one of the worst feelings ever. And I’ve had my heart ripped out of my chest. And lost an arm. And I’ve been stabbed repeatedly. Amongst other things.’
‘I didn’t stub my toe. And also, what the fuck, are you ok?’
‘I’m fine,’ Itadori laughs easily. ‘Seriously, what’s wrong?’
‘My feet hurt,’ Fushiguro admits with a defeated sigh. ‘We’ve been moving about a lot, and after that pineapple fucker two days ago, my feet have just gotten really sore. I soaked them in hot water a few hours ago, I think I should be fine by Monday.’
Itadori eyes him suspiciously.
‘I’m not lying dumbass. I’ll be fine, don’t worry about it. Let’s just get this horrible movie over with.’
Itadori hums, turning back to the screen. A minute later, he looks over at Fushiguro.
‘Well, I’m going to apologize for this in advance.’
‘Apologize for wh- HEY!’
Itadori, with his stupidly inhumane strength, yanks Fushiguro’s legs off the edge of the bed and right into his lap. Fushiguro is now laying down with his head resting against the headboard, and he’s about to kick out when Itadori just digs his thumbs into the arch of his feet and Fushiguro narrowly stops himself from moaning obscenely.
He has died and ascended. His soul is no longer in this realm of existence. It has found peace. The meaning of life. Attained nirvana. He can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
It’s seriously that good.
Because Itadori is strong. He’s really strong, so his movements are sure and deep. His thumbs are pushing against the arch, into the heel of his foot, pushing into that junction where his toes meld into the sole, and it’s so damn good. Fushiguro squirms.
‘How are you- ah shit, right there -how are you so good at this?’
Itadori throws him an easy smile. ‘Used to massage grandpa’s feet all the time. Became an expert over time, especially because I had a lot of his nurses guiding me as well. Is it ok?’
Fushiguro tries to throw him a deadpan look but then Itadori’s thumbs just push into a particularly sore spot and Fushiguro’s eyes roll back into his skull. When he’s able to pull himself together, he looks at the pink-haired man, feeling breathless.
‘It feels great. If you tell a single soul, I will drop kick you.’
Itadori’s laugh is loud and boisterous, and it fills the room completely, saturates it with this feeling of ease and honesty.
‘This stays here, no worries. Like a Las Vegas thing.’
Fushiguro smiles at the stupid reference.
After a few minutes pass by, Fushiguro reluctantly starts pulling his feet away. ‘You’ve done more than enough,’ he starts to say. Itadori wraps his fingers around his ankles, holding him in place.
‘I can honestly do this for hours, it’s fine. You can see the screen, right?’ Fushiguro nods immediately. ‘So, let’s just keep watching. I’ll stop if I’m tired, ok?’
Fushiguro relents without a fight because it’s the most relief he’d gotten in ages, and Itadori is touching him and he’s weak in every possible way and he lets himself be. Just this once.
They finish the movie (thank goodness it’s over) and Itadori continues to massage his feet as they discuss what the 10th movie could possibly be like. They discuss theories and plot holes, and Itadori doesn’t let go, his hands inching up and massaging his calves as well, and fuck if Fushiguro’s going to stop him because it feels good. He’s gay and Itadori is hot and his fingers are actual magic- like, they put sorcery to shame.
When it’s well past midnight and Itadori yawns a few times, Fushiguro finally sits up, pulling his feet out of Itadori’s grasp. The pink-haired man lets his hands linger for as long as possible, and Fushiguro decides he’s just imagining it. Surely.
‘I kinda, I mean, I want to repay you for that. You massaged me for hours, you know.’
Itadori pretends to think for a second before breaking into a bright, 100-megawatt smile.
‘Well then, let’s watch more movies! Let’s just make this movie night! We can watch stuff you look up as well, we can watch anything.’
Fushiguro stares at him, stunned. He hadn’t been expecting that and truth be told, he was really sad the Saw franchise was over because he assumed that would be the end of this, and he was too shy to ask what Itadori was so easily asking him. To see Itadori so excited at the prospect of an actual movie night, with no end in sight, made his heart leap and throb and squeeze. It was incredible.
‘Deal.’ He keeps his voice level and his face neutral, but he can’t hide his eyes and Itadori reads him in a second and his smile softens. He knows him so well now, like the back of his hand.
Itadori bids him a soft goodnight, collecting his stuff and shuffling back to his room slowly. Fushiguro falls asleep quickly, and it's deep and dreamless.
He wakes up to painless feet. It’s a miracle in every single way.
---
When Itadori gently pulls his feet into his lap the next weekend, Fushiguro doesn’t bother protesting it. He just gives him a slightly exasperated sigh, a soft smile and hits play.
They’ve decided to pick up the How to train your dragon franchise this time, as a welcome change of pace.
‘What’s it about?’
‘Well, it’s honestly all in the title. It’s about dragons and Vikings and it’s funny and it has great music!’ Itadori lights up while talking about it, and his energy is so damn contagious. Fushiguro feels himself getting hyped. ‘I think you’ll like it. Especially since you have those cool Shikigamis, you might relate to this more!’
Fushiguro hums, and they watch. Fushiguro routinely pushes pieces of chips and sour candy into Itadori’s mouth, and Itadori’s fingers become well-acquainted with the planes and bumps and grooves of his feet, and the shape of his calves.
Fushiguro gets really into the movie.
Not only is the animation top-notch, but the voice actors are great, the storyline is gripping, and Toothless is so childish and sweet and endearing, his heart aches with love. He barely pays attention to Itadori this time. He seems just as invested, even if it’s the hundredth time he’s rewatching it.
To Fushiguro’s surprise, he chokes up at the end, after the big battle. The whole scene feels strangely familiar in some ways, and he tries desperately to hide his growing discomfort. He peaks over at Itadori and his eyes widen.
Itadori is swallowing hard, his eyes shining and glistening with unshed tears. His grip on Fushiguro is tight as hell, but not painful. He’s barely holding on, it seems.
So Fushiguro looks away, and lets himself feel. He doesn’t cry, but it’s damn near the same feeling.
Itadori’s knowing smirk is as annoying as it is stupidly kissable.
‘You seemed to enjoy that!’
‘It was decent. Much better than all the Saw movies combined.’
Itadori barks out a laugh. ‘Decent, he says. I saw you nearly crying through my own tears. And you were glued to the screen. Such a liar.’
Fushiguro relents. ‘Fine, it was really good. I’m hooked, and I cant wait to see the other 2 movies.’
‘You know I’ll be here.’
Fushiguro is helpless against his blush. He barely hides it in the crook of his elbow. Itadori’s fingers are still pressing into his feet and it’s all so much but not enough. His heart still aches.
‘And the next two movies are visual masterpieces. Can’t wait to get into it all!’
Fushiguro nods, and with the promise of next week, he sleeps just a little easier.
---
When Itadori pulls his feet into his lap three weeks in a row, Fushiguro decides it’s time he does more to repay the pink-haired man. It’s definitely not enough to just grace Itadori with his presence and with a weekly movie night.
So, when they come together to watch the third and final How to train your dragon movie, Fushiguro stands in his room, chewing his lower lip anxiously. He feels like he may have gone overboard, and he’s more scared of being found out by Itadori, about his feelings and his hopelessly ginormous crush and just how big of a complete and utter disaster he is than anything else.
Before he can take it down though, Itadori walks in after a quick knock and a shout of Pardon the intrusion but not reaaallllyyyy.
He walks in, snack bag in his mouth, arms holding way too much stuff, and gives Fushiguro a grin before turning to the bed to start his usual set-up routine. That’s when he stops dead on his feet, and Fushiguro at least enjoys the look of complete and utter shock on his face. The snack bag drops to the ground before Fushiguro can catch it with a loud thunk.
So, here’s a fun fact about Fushiguro- he can build insane blanket forts. No, really, you don’t understand, he could be mistaken for an architect because that’s how good he is. And the reason is a bit long and a bit complicated, but it mostly has to do with his sister. When they were left all alone in the world, sharing a small space just between the two of them, they would build blanket forts with all the stuff lying around the house, and within those sheets, they were shielded from the world and all its horrors. They did it for a long time, and it was their tradition. They got better at it over the years, learning what sheets worked best, what make-shift supports held things up at the right height, where to place the pillows.
The minute Fushiguro started to put the fort together, his muscle memory kicked in and took it from there. It brought forth some memories that made him choke up, but he focused on Itadori, and it helped. He adjusted the height to accommodate two growing boys instead of two tiny humans, and before he knew it, the fort had sprawled to encompass his entire room. He borrowed pillows from Inumaki and Panda, who were willing albeit slightly perplexed, and he grabbed Kugisaki’s fairy lights to really spruce things up. The weather had gotten colder, so he had also laid out his thick duvet for them to slip under, and the icing on the cake was the pizza he had ordered. Itadori always bought the snacks, so he wanted to pull his own weight. Also, they were active jujutsu sorcerers- they may have eaten dinner an hour ago, but they were always hungry. It was endless.
Itadori remains rooted in place, and Fushiguro starts to get nervous. A bit anxious. A bit scared. What if it is too much? Had he overstepped in some way? Or what if Itadori looked forward to building the fort and Fushiguro had taken that away from him?
Itadori slowly looks at him, eyes piercing and unreadable and bright.
And then he smiles. The world rights itself a little.
And he smiles big, huge, all-encompassing. Its lips stretched over white teeth and his eyes are crinkling in that really lovely way and the dimples are dotting his cheeks and its utter magic.
‘Fushi,’ Itadori gushes, almost breathless. ‘This is insane. How the hell did you do this?’
Fushiguro bites his lip. ‘You like it?’
‘Like? Fushi, dude, my man, my guy, like doesn’t begin to cover it! I don’t have better words cause I’m kind of an idiot, but it’s. Like. A+. 11/10. I’m so impressed right now.’
And now Fushiguro is smiling with him, stomach flopping around endlessly, and he’s young and in love and he doesn’t want to be anywhere else.
‘I also got pizza,’ Fushiguro gestures to the table behind him, picking the snack bag off the floor and placing it by the bed. ‘I wasn’t sure what you liked so I just got the same thing you ordered when I was sick.’
Itadori happily bounds over to the box and leans in for a sniff.
‘I love this stuff, it’s yum. And it’s still steaming, all fresh and hot.’ Itadori gives him a big thumbs-up. ‘This is so bomb Fushi, thank you so much!’
Fushiguro almost says No thank you, you’ve been doing so much for our movie nights and I wanted to show you how grateful I am for you and for all of this and I love you so please take my heart and just keep it, I really don’t need it, you know?
What he says instead is, ‘Not a problem. Shall we set up?’
And so, 10 minutes later finds them curled up in their usual spots, except this time they’re under the covers. Fushiguro places all the food between them, and Itadori alternates between massaging his feet (which he cleans meticulously before their movie nights because he doesn’t want Itadori to eat with dirty feet hands) and taking bites of pizza and smiling and laughing and choking up at the movie.
The trilogy ends and Fushiguro can honestly see why Itadori has watched this countless times. It’s just that good.
If Itadori hears him sniffle, he doesn’t say a word. Just squeezes his calf and runs his fingers from his knees to his ankles and Fushiguro realizes, in that moment, that a part of him will always belong to this man.
---
They don’t miss a single movie night for months. They’ve now finished the Saw franchise, the HTTYD trilogy, the Batman trilogy, and the entire Annabelle series. If Fushiguro didn’t hate dolls before, well, now the thought of them sends shivers up his spine. And he fights curses. For a living.
Life is weird.
They don’t miss a single movie night for months. Sometimes it’s Sunday night instead, or Friday. Sometimes it’s earlier in the day, in the afternoon maybe. Sometimes, it’s really late at night, so late that by the time they’re done, it’s already 3am and the world is silent. The world doesn’t exist beyond the walls of Fushiguro’s room, and he’s ok with that.
On those nights, Itadori stays over.
They curl up on his bed together, not quite touching but not quite not touching. It’s a single bed and they’re not small by any means. The touching is inevitable. Fushiguro wonders if any part of it is voluntary.
He learns that Itadori’s toes are always warm, unlike Fushiguro’s. He’s a surprisingly calm sleeper. His sleep-heavy voice is deep, and his sleep-heavy smile is soft.
They fall asleep facing away from one another, they wake up spooning or being spooned. They don’t say a word. And they don’t stop.
The night that they finish the latest Annabelle movie, Itadori looks insanely freaked out and Fushiguro doesn’t blame him. That shit’s creepy as hell.
The problem is that it’s only 00:14. Too early for them to call for a sleepover unprompted.
Itadori’s got Fushiguro’s legs in his lap, and he’s pursing his lips as if deep in thought. Fushiguro thinks fuck it.
‘Do you want to stay over?’
The relief flows off Itadori in waves. ‘You’re an actual lifesaver, you know that right?’
Fushiguro smirks, and they throw snarky comments back and forth between them as they get ready for bed. Itadori brings his toothbrush and they clean up side by side, fighting for the mirror. They take the fort down methodically, like a well-oiled machine, and they curl up under the duvet, touching but not quite touching, facing away from one another.
15 minutes later, Fushiguro feels Itadori curled around him, legs tangled and arm carefully slipped over his middle. He feels him shake, and he can taste the hesitation and he knows Itadori will move away soon because they both know they’re both awake.
He moves his hand lower and places it over Itadori’s. He squeezes it once, and moves it away, and evens out his breathing. He feels himself drifting off, and the last thing he feels is Itadori’s arm curling around him just a little tighter, holding him just a little closer. The air tastes less hesitant, more hopeful.
It’s wonderfully frightening.
---
They don’t miss a single movie night for months. Until one day, they do.
The thing about Sukuna is that he’s the King of Curses, Lord Asshat extraordinaire, and an overall terrible being. Not only does he reside in Itadori rent-free, he also chooses when to heal him and when to watch from the sidelines as blood gushes out of wounds that are near-fatal. Itadori’s pain tolerance is impossibly high, but that doesn’t mean he can’t feel pain.
Itadori feels everything. He feels so much, so willingly, so wholeheartedly. He’s a feeler.
And so, when one of their missions go haywire (as always), Itadori risks his life for his classmates (as always), and is left on the verge of death (as always). The only difference being he doesn’t improve. At least not at that inhumane pace that he always does.
He’s not dead, but he’s not in the world of the living either. He’s drifting somewhere in between, and Fushiguro feels like he’s drowning. He can’t get enough air; he can’t see beyond the murky waters that are darker than ink.
Fushiguro is in the in-house hospital on campus and he rarely, if ever, leaves Itadori’s side. The incident took place on a Tuesday and it is now Saturday. Itadori’s vitals are stable, his heart is in his chest, beating, and his blood is circulating and oxygenating him.
He does not wake up, he does not speak, and he does not smile.
Something in Fushiguro’s chest cracks.
People come by to visit all the time. Nobara brings snacks and chats with Itadori like he’s ok, like he’ll respond. Only Fushiguro hears the tremor in her voice. Maki holds back from smacking someone in a coma, vowing to get him good when he’s awake for doing something so monumentally dumb. Gojo flits in and out as often as he can, and he always squeezes Fushiguro’s shoulder with a tightness that eases his chest just a little before leaving again.
After dinner on Saturday, Fushiguro decides to do something.
He lets himself into Itadori’s room- messy but not sloppy, and simple. He finds his laptop on his desk and charges it for a bit before taking it back with him. He doesn’t set up a blanket fort, simple loads up a Christopher Nolan movie that they’d decided on last week and lets it play.
He holds Itadori’s hand the entire time. It doesn’t squeeze back.
The crack in his chest widens.
---
He’s not there when Itadori wakes up.
Gojo had pushed him out of the room to go take a shower and grab a proper meal and maybe even take a nap, and Fushiguro had relented to two of the three- showering and eating. With a belly full of terrible convenience store food that could never hope to hold a candle to Itadori’s meals, Fushiguro slowly makes his way back to the infirmary when he hears voices. One voice, in particular, stops him in his tracks.
‘How are you feeling?’
‘My mouth tastes like ass.’
It’s one of the first things Itadori has said in a week and a half, and something between a laugh and a sob gets stuck in Fushiguro’s chest. He moves to yank the door open and throw himself at Itadori when he hears-
‘Where’s Fushi?’
‘Oh, he went to take a shower, clean up a little, all that.’
‘Ah. I see.’
Fuck, he sounds disappointed.
‘Don’t look so upset.’ Gojo teases. ‘He hasn’t left your side since you got hurt, you know?’
‘Really?’
Gojo hums. ‘He’s here all day. He tried working for a day or two, but his head wasn’t in it, so we forced him to sit out for a bit. He’s just been keeping you company here, reading, fretting, pining.’
Fushiguro wants to punch Gojo.
Itadori barks out a laugh. It sounds loud and forced and not very happy.
‘Don’t tease me about that sensei. That’s cruel, even for you.’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘You know what I’m talking about.’
‘I want to be sure. I’m not a mind-reader you know. So tell me,’ Gojo urges, ‘what are you talking about?’
Itadori sighs. It sounds exhausted more than pained. ‘I’ve liked him since the day we fought the curse and saved my senpais. It’s cruel for you to tease me about a one-sided crush.’
Fushiguro is suddenly numb, hot and cold everywhere, and his head is spinning, an echo of ‘I’ve liked him I’ve liked him’ just bouncing around his brain endlessly. He has to force himself to concentrate or risk missing out more of the conversation.
‘I mean, why do you think it’s one-sided?’
‘Are you kidding me? He’s so out of my league, I can’t even think about it. He’s so. Just. Everything good in this world. And he likes dogs sensei, what more could I want in a person?’
Fushiguro’s vision is just swimming and he wants to smother Itadori in a hug and protect him forever. His feet are taking longer to respond to his brain though.
‘I don’t think that’s true,’ Gojo sings, laughing. ‘My advice would be to not give up. You’d be good for each other, you know? Also, he’s really not all that perfect. Trust me, I’ve known him since he was a child. This one time, during the spring festival, he-‘
‘Itadori, you’re awake?’
Evidently, his self-preservation instincts had bypassed his brain and forced his legs to move at near inhumane speed. God bless instincts.
Itadori is sitting up, and he looks a bit frail but the color in his cheeks is steadily returning. His eyes widen in surprise before his mouth twists up in a grin so wide Fushiguro is worried he’ll break his face. His eyes are molten, watery, and brighter than the sun.
‘Hi Fushi.’
For once, Fushiguro doesn’t give a two shit flying fuck that Gojo is in the room and will hence tease him for the rest of his life, he just walks over to the bed and gathers Itadori into a hug and holds him there, pressing his warmth into Itadori. There’s the beating of his heart, the rise and fall of his chest, and the smile on his lips pressed into Fushiguro’s shoulder.
The world rights itself on its axis, just a little more.
‘Idiot.’
Itadori’s muffled laugh makes him grin, and he pulls away. He rearranges his face in a scowl.
‘I told you before if you die on me-‘
‘-you’ll kill me yourself. I know, I know. I’m here Fushi, you don’t have to become a murderer. It’s a good day.’
Fushiguro lets his face morph back into a grin before looking over at Gojo. His teacher’s smirk tells him everything- how he knew where Fushiguro was, how he’s seen right through Fushiguro, how he’s going to tease him till the day either of them die. And Fushiguro wants to be annoyed and pissed off but he can’t bring himself to care, not right now.
Itadori’s heart is beating in his chest, and he smiles at Fushiguro, and his cheeks are tinting pink.
Fushiguro’s heart is full.
---
‘Sorry I missed movie night.’
Itadori’s apology is so stupid Fushiguro nearly gwaffs, but that’s undignified as fuck so he settles for a cough and a withering stare.
‘I mean, it’s not like you were in a coma or anything.’
‘You know what I mean! But anyway, I’m here now, so let’s pick up where we left off.’
‘No, we’ll have to move on to the next movie. We watched that one last week.’
‘Huh?’
Fushiguro looks at him, prays he isn’t seven shades of red. ‘Well, I thought maybe if we had a movie night at the infirmary, you’d feel better. Where you were. Especially if you were dealing with lord fuckwad. You know?’
Itadori stares at him in awe and chuckles softly. ‘You’re something else, you know? Just when I think I’ve got you all figured out.’
Gojo’s word reverberate around his skull and Fushiguro just clears his throat. ‘Yeah, well, I’m all about surprising people. Woohoo.’
Itadori bursts out laughing, and they go back to setting up the fort, the pizza, the snacks, the lights, the laptop. It’s easy and familiar and nice. They settle into the mattress, but Fushiguro doesn’t let Itadori take his feet this time, opting to press into his side instead. Itadori barely puts up a fight.
They’re roughly 8 minutes into Interstellar when Itadori asks, ‘How did you set up the movie in the infirmary?’
Fushiguro hums, ‘I grabbed your laptop and put it on a chair to your left. I sat on the right. I sat by your bed and I…’
‘And you?’
Fushiguro should be nervous but he’s not. He’s surprised by how not nervous he is.
‘And I did this.’ He laces their hands together, eyes trained on Itadori's.
It’s like looking at a bowl of liquid amber. His eyes are light brown, bordering on gold, and they’re mesmerizing when you’re this close. He doesn’t look away from Fushiguro, his breath doesn’t stutter, he doesn’t jerk away. He squeezes Fushiguro’s hand with his right one and slowly brings up the left. He rests it on Fushiguro’s jaw, soft skin meeting calloused fingers and there’s a heat building under Fushiguro’s skin that makes him feel that same hot and cold sensation everywhere.
‘I’m going to kiss you.’
Itadori’s voice is deeper than Fushiguro’s ever heard it, low and spicy and sure. His hands are gentle and confident.
Fushiguro doesn’t nod or say Yes or blush.
He just brings his right arm up, wraps it around Itadori’s left wrist and leans in, bringing them together in what is possibly the softest touch of lips ever, in the history of the universe.
It’s not hesitant, it’s just new. And all-encompassing. And maddeningly good. And soft.  
Itadori’s breath hitches and he leans his head, slotting their lips together better and Fushiguro is humming because fucking hell is this good. There’s no tongue, just pressure and nips and small licks and bites. By the end of it, Fushiguro is smiling into Itadori’s smile, and he’s kissing it and nuzzling it and he’s drowning in the best way possible.
Itadori finally pulls away, after several small kisses, and does that beaming smile that makes Fushiguro’s stomach do really terrible things.
‘I can’t believe all this happened because of Saw.’
Fushiguro’s smile shrivels away in a heartbeat and Itadori is laughing and snorting, the bastard.
‘Itadori Yuji.’
More laughter.
‘I swear on all that is good and pure, if you tell people we got together because of Saw, I will dump your ass so hard you won't be able to sit down for weeks.’
Itadori laughs some more and presses his giggles against Fushiguro’s lips and dammit he’s so weak and gay.
Itadori’s hand slips down his jaw and cups the back of his neck and he pulls him close, pressing their foreheads together.
‘We both know that’s not true.’
Damn it. He really does know Fushiguro like the back of his hand.
And so he does the only thing he can think of- he kisses him again. And again. And then some more, just because he can.
The movie remains forgotten, and frankly, they couldn’t care less.
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The Mask 1994
*I finally wrote the whole thing. I finally watched the movie that involved something I’ve been talking about A LOT. I think this took about an hour since I finished the movie. Forgot to mention Charlie.*
I wanna make this clear, even before I watched movie or ever writing this. I am legitimately a stupid and lazy person. Because my mom told me about this, and last week, my dad rented A Quiet Place Part 2. When I was trying to go to sleep but was looking up movies...I literally forgot my tv can do that too...and that I can rent or buy a movie...I rented the movie this morning, and deleted it afterwards...after all that talk...I could’ve done that...wow. I should do that more considering some movies I wanna see or like. Not too much though. My tv has DirecTV. Just a heads up.
But a few or couple of minutes ago, I finally watched The Mask film from 1994. This post is gonna be filled with spoilers and it’s gonna get long. Gonna be kind of a review. My overall thoughts on it. This was my first reaction to the whole movie.
I’d just wanna talk about this too. I like comic books, I like comic book movies. Mainly my favorites are ones like all of Zack Snyder’s DCEU movies, Spider-Man 1 & 2, The Suicide Squad 2021, Wonder Woman 2017, The Dark Knight(Despite whatever issues I have with it), and Joker 2019. Yeah, those are mainly DC films and two Marvel related ones. I don’t even mind Spider-Man 3 as well. I also forgot Dredd 2012 is another one of my favorites. Along with Batman 1989.
I was hoping The Mask could make that list of favorites. Because I read the comics first. I don’t think I ever watch the movie fully as a kid MAYBE. I’m a fan of the comics, I know this movie was gonna be a lighter take on the series. 
In a nutshell...I liked it. It’s possible it will be on that list of favorite CBM’s...but I want to talk about it. I’ll also admit I think what got me interested in seeing this film and this series was me liking Jim Carrey as Ace Ventura...now, let’s get to the point.
Yeah, I liked it. I thought the movie was genuinely entertaining. Despite seeing some clips before. But also Ryan Hollinger’s video about it. Revealing the ending, the twist, and other stuff. But I didn’t wanna watch more more that I haven’t seen yet.
I will be honest, it still made me laugh. Even some scenes I already have seen. I will admit, the Cuban Pete scene is actually one of my favorites. XD But what also surprised me is that at times, despite being a funny film. It can genuinely be touching in a way. And I am mainly talking about the developing relationship between Stanley and Tina.
I just wanna talk about the characters right now. I’ll just admit unless I haven’t already. I’m a Jim Carrey fan. Mainly because of his more goofier roles. Particularly his roles from the Ace Ventura movies, Liar Liar, and especially Sonic The Hedgehog. I also will admit this, Jim Carry nails playing Big Head or who they call...The Mask in this movie...I’ll nitpick about that later.
But yeah, Jim’s entertaining as Big Head in this film. He does make me laugh. But I think another role he does well despite there are some sillier moments, which is fine. I feel like in a way, Stanley Ipkiss in this version, is maybe one of his more normal roles. But I know I’m wrong considering whatever other roles he’s in. He portrays a likable good guy who’s sadly mainly pushed around. Which is quite the difference from the comics, except being pushed around. But that’s another topic. Yet for this story, even if maybe Stanley’s name could be changed. But him being a genuinely kind guy works for this story.
Even before I saw the movie, learning more about this version about the character. I can relate to Stanley in some ways honestly. Which is something that I like. He basically shines as a protagonist. 
He portrays both sides well. Despite at times...honestly, this Stanley is wacky. I shouldn’t be judging. Jim does a good stuff with what he played, and he’s the highlight of this movie. He also delivers possibly my favorite Jim Carrey line of all time now. Sorry if I get this wrong. I was looking for a clip of it to help me.
“Daddy’s gonna go kick some ass”. A literal line from Jim Carrey in this movie and I love it. He even brings a pistol with him.
I also wanna admit Peter Greene as Dorian is pretty good as a villain. The dude can be threatening and he works with what he is given. And he’s effective as an antagonist. I just wanna admit that I swear, one of these guys. One of them could’ve Walter in a way and I just think that could’ve been possible. But I’m not sure. Just one of Dorian’s henchmen looked like a huge guy. It just got me thinking about Walter from the comics.
Will admit, I think Kellaway is fine. And I just found out Christopher Reeve was one of the actors considered for the role...damn. But again, Kellaway was fine. He’s more like a supporting character and again, this is like an origin story. I do feel bothered Lionel Ray wasn’t added but replaced with this Doyle character. I will admit that Doyle is silly, which is the point of his character. I guess the writers and director didn’t want two sensible cops or something. I like Kellaway alright, but I’ll always dig Lionel too.
I really wanted to get this point. I thought Cameron Diaz was good as Tina Carlyle and Amy Yasbeck as Peggy Brandt. I will admit, I do strangely like the subversion with Peggy in a way with it’s twist. I get the idea if that it was going for that theme of, “We all wear mask” and Peggy turning Stanley into the mob said a lot about her character. While Tina was genuinely the one that truly supported Stanley.
I think was surprised me more was the fact despite Peggy turned in Stanley for selfish purposes such as paying for her condo. Yet what surprised me more was she was actually concerned for Stanley being killed, and didn’t want him hurt...which explains even more why she stuck around in the cartoon. And honestly, it makes me glad the director took out that deleted scene of her getting killed. So she wasn’t that heartless.
Also...it made me think that...my ideas and changes towards her character...maybe hold some weight.
I’ll just put this out there too. Milo is great, one of my favorite fictional dogs maybe. Good dog.
Trying to think what else, the score was fine. But the licensed music was good or something. Overall, I think my negatives could be just...nitpicks. Such as the Big Head part I wanted to talk about. Listen, I understand this is a different version. I just feel it’s weird to call him, “The Mask” instead of Big Head. I know other characters mask in their name or something. But...some reasons, the name Big Head is there. I guess it’s because of the title or something.
Honestly, I think my negatives are more that it feels short. And maybe Stanley becoming Big Head a bit too early. I sound kind of stupid, I know. But this was the 90′s and whatever else. This was a different take on the comics. But I did genuinely like it. Maybe I’m just a bit attached to those comics. Despite knowing the changes they did.
But I will admit, considering the development for this film. And learning that it was meant to be a horror film. But the director Charles Russell found the violence in the source material to be off putting. So he made it less grim, and more fun. I’ve also read somewhere that trying to make comedy with that violence was difficult.
Back to the point, to be honest. I feel like for that time and age. A more light Mask film was maybe the best choice to go. And we wouldn’t have Jim Carrey in it. I do also wanna say, I feel like The Mask series, you can do a lot of it. You can have something dark with it, or maybe more lighter.
There are still some of those darker elements. Mainly considering the moments with the gangsters and all that. But I will admit, learning that Charles mostly directed horror films. I think it’s impressive he made a more family friendly film and it worked. 
I liked it, despite my love for the comics. I thought when writing this, maybe some folks reading this may think I sound like fans who read the comics who first experienced this movie. But the film isn’t bad, it’s just a different take and a pretty nice one at that.
And to be honest, as much as I would of loved to see an actual sequel. And not that bad film known as Son Of The Mask. I understand why Jim Carrey dropped out, and I would’ve loved to see Peggy back because the director planned to bring her back reformed. But I feel like this film works as a one off in a way. And there’s also the cartoon, which works fine as a sequel despite some differences. Yet...I’ll admit, I would’ve loved The Mask 2 if we got Jim Carrey as Stanley again fighting against maybe someone like Walter.
The Mask 1994 is a good film. Despite changes from the source material, but the changes for this vision work. It’s cool this film has a cult following, and the fact I have used elements and story beats from it for The Mask Rebirth stuff I’ve been talking about. Even before watched this whole movie.
It’s a genuine fun flick. But I’m hoping down the line, if Warner Bros stops being fucking stupid with how they run things. Maybe we’ll get a reboot or how about an animated film that seems more true to the source material. 
I know The Mask/Big Head doesn’t have a big legacy such as the likes of Superman, Batman, and Spider-Man. But I do think this series could be reimagined and expanded upon. Using elements not only from the original comics, but even the movie and cartoon. 
And...despite it was because of Ace Ventura...I would like to thank @kaijuguy19 for being such a supportive dude, and talking about this franchise with me. Including wanting to talk about this movie long ago when I haven’t seen it. But I want to say...no...he’s one of the big reasons why I’m a fan. Because he’s one of the only guys I know who’s a fan. It started with Ace Ventura, but it was because of talking with Kaijuguy that I guess things started to escalate. So thanks man for talking about this stuff with me.
Also, Charlie was silly and he was fine as a character. I forgot about that dude despite wanting to talk about him. Gonna tag him too in case. Charlie schumaker
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shihalyfie · 3 years
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When I look back I realize that I can relate a SHOCKING amount to the characters in Frontier, because I was also a loner/outcast/introvert, and I struggled to fit in at school and in mainstream society. Like many other people, I'm also surprised at the accusations lobbed at Frontier. Sure, there were plot points that could have been taken further or had better execution, but even over a decade later (AND with a literature degree under my belt), I find a depth in Frontier's plot and characterization that's not easy to find elsewhere. There was something a lot more...human? about it, something that felt much more grounded in reality (odd, for an anime about literally going to a different world and evolving into a different being).
There's a reason I don't live by the concept of "good or bad series" anymore, and why I absolutely abhor the idea that someone's favorite series is a reflection of their ability to do writing critique or whether they have "good taste" or not. When we're talking about art and entertainment media, things like how well you personally relate to a theme or message are almost always going to surpass all of that, and I mean, we can say this or that about neat or klutzy writing execution or pacing or whatnot, but if the thing it wanted to say speaks to people deeply and had a lot of love behind it, I'm sure most would agree that such a thing is far more important, meaningful, and impactful than something that executes all the points on the How to Do Good Writing list your school gave you but doesn't actually have any meaningful substance. Art is about the heart, for good reason. Personal taste and preference is important, and must always be respected. I find that the joy of the franchise is in itself the fact that it can be so different every time, because it can cover territory or themes it wasn't able to yet.
Digimon under Seki had a very, very, very strong theme of needing to represent the feelings of the children watching it at the time, and if I had to describe the difference between each cast in a nutshell:
Adventure's cast consists of kids who are naturally selfless and have potential, but don't necessarily recognize that in themselves and need a little pushing;
02's cast consists of kids who are well-meaning but rough around the edges and living in the shadow of others, and need the support of others to move forward, especially when external social pressures are eating at them;
Tamers is about "the average, ordinary kid" who wasn't necessarily cut out for heroism but got dragged into things and had to grow into the role;
Frontier is about natural misfits/outcasts (as I sometimes put it, the image of the kids in the detention hall) who really were not cut out for this kind of thing at all at the beginning, but do have the self-awareness that they need to change and understanding that they need to do better.
If you want to know why I fell so hard for 02 in particular, I will completely admit: it's personal! Without going into overly revealing details about my personal life, all of the stuff about living in the shadow of others, struggling with certain mental health problems and their related cognitive dissonances (especially the weird contradictory brand of self-hatred where doing things for others somehow becomes easier than even remotely thinking about yourself), growing up with adults putting pressure on me to do better to the point sometimes I felt I might snap, all of it was depicted in such incredible detail that of course I couldn't help but fall in love with it. That part was able to relate to me in ways many other things couldn't, and I appreciate it all the better for that, so when someone says that they have a strong preference for a certain series based on how closely it matched their own personal experiences in detail, I completely believe them! Humans are all different, and what experiences they've had are all different, too.
As you say, it's interesting how Frontier can hit home so well considering it's the Seki series most displaced from the real world, but I find that displacement to be the case purely in theory; I've seen the series described as kids willingly throwing themselves into the isekai because they were already such outcasts from the real world itself that heading to the other world wasn't that weird anyway. There's actually a lot you can get out of Frontier when you think about it in terms of metaphor, and what this journey means for the kids in particular. Even the part about turning into a Digimon -- the kids, especially Junpei, Izumi, and Tomoki, are well aware that they don't like the way they are and they need to change themselves, but change is scary, and it's interesting how the prospect of changing oneself as a person is so scary that even changing physically into a Digimon seems comparatively easier, but being able to accept that "transformation" in a sense is how they can accept being able to take that step.
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ciegeinc · 2 years
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Movie Review... The Matrix Resurrections
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(2/5) Watched this twice in the last two days. The 2nd time took a lot longer because I had to keep pausing and taking notes. In a nutshell, in a flash summary...this is the Matrix for Gen Z'ers. The generation that can be summed in some instances as taking something that has already been done and calling it there own (for example countless dances and songs from the 80s and 90s redone, rediscovered on social media). That's what this movie feels like. It tries to do what three films did and then finish with something new and it fails and is bland.
Questions and plot holes are not foreign to the matrix franchise but when those questions are spread and explained in three films vs one; it's hard to process. There was more that I disliked than I liked.
The action was lackluster compared to its predecessors. I am not sure if this was done purposely for this new story or was this something due to COVID. Either way the final product did not reach the standard. I hated the shooting sequence too. Literally all at close range but no one got shot? I didn't like them breaking the 3rd wall too. That is always a key give away of a money grab Hollywood sequel. It was disguised as the comedic element of the film but was delivered as a load of cheese.
Lastly, the vagueness in the explanations about the returning of certain characters, terminology and settings. Zion's demise was unclear to me as well as the return of Smith. Niobe's return was good to see but then for her grow old to be just like Captain Roland doesn't make sense for what the character went through in the older films. There was a lot more too question but it's not worth it (check out my film notes at the bottom).
There were a few things I liked. The scene where Trinity yelled Neo's name gave me chills and the result of Neo going to the machine city (no spoiler). But that is about it.
This doesn't necessarily tarnish the other films but it’s definitely not needed either.
To find out if his reality is a physical or mental construct, Mr. Anderson, aka Neo, will have to choose to follow the white rabbit once more. If he's learned anything, it's that choice, while an illusion, is still the only way out of -- or into -- the Matrix. Neo already knows what he has to do, but what he doesn't yet know is that the Matrix is stronger, more secure and far more dangerous than ever before (rottentomatoes.com).
Notes and Questions (Things I Wrote on my Second Trip)...
Modal - Simulation used to Evolve programs Programs = Digital Sentience?
Rehashing of older films
Morpheus referred to bugs as a sentient and she did not correct him? But she isn't
Morpheus is a program that has to find Neo
Shoot at point blank range and missing?
Are the modal and game the same thing?
Neo is trapped within a new matrix with trinity and they can't remember anything.  Neo is a game creator in the new matrix and the game he creates is of his memories.  Basically the first 3 films.  The game is popular in the new matrix. In the game neo has created a new morpheus a program to free him.  
Constantly referring to the themes of the original films, breaking that 3rd wall was not done "smartly" Matrix 4 video game = matrix 4 movie.  Pitch meeting...matrix for Gen Z
Agent Smith Neo boss?
Analysts is the new Architect
Fighting and action sequences are subpar to predecessors (unsure if that was done purposely or due to COVID)
Battle in the office? Real...next game/modal. Agent Smith?
Bots vs Agents?
Mod morpheus was created to free him but Smith was also involved in the coding of Mod morpheus
Synthients?
Zion was always set up by machines...IO set up by people?
Very vague what happened to zion... during the purge, creation of new matrix, did Zion get destroyed
Smith explains his arrival being that from the analysts...but morpheus spoke of something different?
Analysts slow down mode?
New analysts wants to harness emotional distress instead using logic and equations as control like the architect
Niobe grew old just become Captain Roland
Tati?
Agent smith turning into that random guy?
How does trinity access skills neo once had?
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the-overanalyzer · 4 years
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Tower of Nero first thoughts
What, you think having to be at work in a few hours could keep me from downing this thing in one go? 
Honestly, every little detail about Meg’s upbringing is just another layer in the seven-layer dip of RAGE
Sally and Paul being fully prepared to help with god stuff on short notice, they’re such good people I love them so much
Green eyes, Paul’s hair? I’m liking these implications
Now, that I think of it, didn’t Magnus also have a little bit of an “Estelle as representative of everything I have a duty to protect” thing going on in Ship of the Dead? I guess that officially makes this the EBLU: Estelle Blofis Literary Universe.
Wait a second, did Sally give Lu one of Gabe’s old shirts?
“this bitch a barbarian. YEET!”
Apollo and Dionysus have such “grown siblings who still don’t get along but mutually hate our dad” energy
CHIRON CANONICALLY HAS AVENGER INITIATIVE MEETINGS WITH BAST AND MIMIR WHAT THE FUCK
I love that Dionysus drops the “forgetting everyone’s name” bit as soon as Percy’s left the state. We stan a petty bitch.
Will in a towel? Will fresh out of the shower? Will with a tattoo? 
Apollo and Will standing around in states of undress which it is noted would make hugging awkward? I feel not just seen, but actively targeted.
Will is canonically a star wars nerd
Evil unstoppable cows 
OH MY FUCKING GOD HE GLOWS RICK PLEASE STOP I CANNOT TAKE ALL OF THIS IN ONE BOOK.
I agree, hats are a mark of civilization.
Fuck Nero. Fuuuuuuuck Nero
Hera’s been mourning for Jason, which makes sense. He’s the closest she’s ever had to a halfblood child of her own, and they seem to have been, if not close, than mutually respectful.
Also pointing out that once again, the gods are sitting around not doing anything.
I would just like to point out that Hestia has been on the council before, it’s not like you couldn’t just get her to do it.
Of course Python is the ultimate big bad. One scrawny teenage failboat against an abomination from the dawn of time, that’s Riordan’s work in a nutshell.
I don’t think Zeus is as maliciously awful a parent as Nero, but he still sucks pretty hard, and I don’t blame Apollo one bit for not really wanting anything to do with him
Ah, Piper getting a girlfriend. I know some people feel like it’s a deliberate dig at the vocal fans who wanted canonically queer Reyna, “look, here’s your WLW heroine, now shut up”, but I don’t see it that way. Even back in HoO, a good chunk of Reyna’s personal arc is about how one doesn’t need a romantic relationship to find fulfillment, and while you could interpret that as her realizing that it’s specifically men she doesn’t need, romantic pursuit for Reyna was always something she undertook on her own initiative. Piper was the one who was literally edited into a prearranged, artificial relationship without her consent, and this feels way more like course correction for that—in and out of universe—than it does  an uncharacteristically mean-spirited retaliation for some annoying messages on twitter.
I do dig the “where are they now” montage. If the franchise ends here I’d be pretty satisfied.
And if not, “Nico and Will’s Bogus Journey”  and “Crisis on Infinite Pantheons” will no doubt be entertaining.
I really like the ongoing theme in this series about how separate Gods are from mortals, and how experiencing that separation from the other side has profoundly changed Apollo. It’s like the four hobbits at the end of Return of the King. He’s back in his “proper” place, but he’s no longer the person he was when he left. Even if he’s not Lester anymore, the old Apollo’s gone too. 
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Hi! Ok first I LOVE your writing! T_T can I request for RFA+V+Saeran reacting to a MC having a BEST BOI/HUSBANDO (waifu for Jaehee case lol) it may be totally fictional or from another franchise, like MC spends money on merch, plays gacha games, celebrates bdays and make them participate, etc lol
Lmao yessss that’s just my life in a nutshell (except I can’t buy merch T_T)
RFA+V and Saeran with an MC who has a husband/waifu:
Zen:
Oh lord
This man didn’t know you were so obsessed with this new game that had come out
Every night he’d have to battle with you to try and stop using your phone for a bit because you just wanted to get these super special cards
He was fine with you being really passionate about something
But then you started to swoon over one of the characters
He was a really flirty demon, and you would giggle and blush everytime he’d say something
Which honestly made Zen a bit jealous
But as long as you never choose the game over him he’s cool
He won’t get super involved but he will support you!
Yoosung:
I feel like Yoosung will want to join you I playing the game or watching the TV series
And he will like it too!
Yoosung will probably have a waifu lmao
He will adore if you celebrate an event together
And will totally buy merch with you
If you are trying really hard to get a special card or item he will literally start doing cheers in the middle of the living room lmao
He will get as obsessed as you!
Jaehee:
Da queen gets ya
She knows what it’s like to admire someone so much
I mean obviously yours if fictional so at first she was a bit confused
But she knows what it’s like
Literally you guys are couple goals
You will get her some Zen merch, and she will get you merch from your game
You want to celebrate a b-day? He’ll yeah
She is honestly kind of in love with your waifu too
Also you told her that you choose that character as your waifu because you said that she reminded you of Jaehee
She was so flattered :D
Jumin:
Honestly he doesn’t really get it
I mean he thinks it’s an insteresting hobby
He will buy you all the merch
Like literally everything
The most expensive things he can find
Which is ironic because Jumin doesn’t like to spend money on things that aren’t really useful
But for you, that’s a different story
He knows you like that game about some demon brothers
And he thinks that your husbando is really similar to him
So he’s happy
If you spend too much time playing he will get you from behind and start trailing kisses down your neck
“Love, why don’t you stop playing for a while and start paying attention to me instead?~”
If it’s a movie or a tv series and you like celebrating important events he won’t judge you at all! And he will try to get into the fandom (but he will fail lmao he’s really cute tho)
Saeyoung:
Will immediately dress up as your fave character and start flirting with you
Yes, this man is the best thing that has ever happened to you
He will literally buy you merch too
And get you both some stuff!
I mean he will also probably get into the game too
And in a matter of days he will already be the highest ranking player, he has completed the whole story and has the best cards/items
Saeyoung will brag them, just to tease you a bit
Also Saeran and Vanderwood are totally judging you from the sidelines
(But they will get obsessed with the game too and will play it secretly)
V:
Bby boy is really confused
I mean you like a...fictional character? Huh?
He won’t judge you
But he will be pretty confused
And if you buy merch he’d be cool with it
If you want he will totally paint the character for you
#1 Husband award
He doesn’t understand, but he thinks you look beautiful when you talk about the game, and the plot and all the characters
He will also sometimes buy you something that’s probably limited edition, but he will do it once in a while
Saeran:
If you have a body pillow
He will murder it
Saeran will act a bit pouty
Because you’re focusing on a guy
That isn’t real
And he’s in the corner watching you fan girl because of a kiss scene
just like: 👁👄👁
He will try and get your attention in really subtle ways, like a cat
He will also buy the merch because he likes how happy it makes you
No body pillow tho -_-
One time while you were sleeping holding it really tight Saeran got a bit jealous so he grabbed it and threw it on the floor
And you let out a little hey! But then he got on top of you and smirked
“Y/N, why do you need that when you have me right here?”
Yeah he was really forward
And then the body pillow had a very traumatic experience because he was just watching you both do the bed tango lmao
The next day Saeran hid it in the closet
(But he bought you more merch and gave you tons of kisses so you wouldn’t get mad at him)
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