#lone wolves and losing dogs

[markslittleproblems]

Chapters: 6/? An interlude, unveiling many secrets... 

#lone wolves and losing dogs #jaq #jaq fic #james bond #alec trevelyan #goldeneye #00q #00q00 #00q fic #00q on AO3

[zedif-y]

…Sometimes, Joel isn’t sure it’s worth it.

It being– well. Him. Which, bloody hell, that just sounds depressing, innit? He’s not– he’s fine, really, in all the ways that matter. Good looking, smart, humble. What’s not to love. He’s fine, great even, so there’s no need for any worrying. No need for that at all.

He just wonders, you know? Everyone does. (Probably.)

But also, he’s phrasing it weird. It’s not that he questions himself, it’s more like… Hm. 

Let’s use a metaphor, all smart-like. Joel thinks of himself as a lot of things: The howling, blood-hungry chase of wolves, the business end of a knife. That razor-sharp feeling of teeth sinking into flesh. A forest fire out of control.

(Yeah, yeah. He’s got issues, whatever.)

That’s not the point. The point is this:

Joel’s more of a hunter than the hunted. At least, that’s what he likes to think– don’t even argue. He knows he’s unhinged, revels in it, thrives in it. Hard to put out a fire without getting burned.

And that. That’s the thing.

Because Joel thinks that sometimes he burns too bright. Like a flame– no, like the sun. A point of pride on a good day, something to hide on the worse ones. Fire doesn’t get to keep things. It burns what it touches, spits out the remains. Charred and blackened and what-have-you.

The thing is he can’t make a home without smelling the faint scent of smoke, ash lingering in the air that makes him cough and wrinkle his nose. He builds a foundation, lays down the plans, thinking maybe, this time–

He’s always wrong. Stupid, stupid. He’s always blummin’ wrong.

The thing about Joel is he’s never held something that didn’t crumble into ash. The thing about Joel is that he doesn’t know when that’s gonna end.

So is it worth it, then? To be his? 

He knows the tight grip of loneliness, the heavy chains of solitude. He knows what it’s like to curl up on the floor with his dogs— don’t you dare laugh— his back screaming at him for the night spent on a cold floor. Loneliness is as familiar to him as bloodlust, but he’d rather rip out his teeth than admit it, swallow his own tongue.

(A thought comes, and it’s stupid– no, really. It’s stupid. Stop asking.)

(Why do people think the moon’s lonely? Joel wonders, a scowl on his lips. The moon’s got like, loads of friends. The stars are right there.)

(You get too close to the sun and your wings melt.)

(Joel tugs at a piece of loose string, and he thinks that maybe the sun just wants a friend.)

(…See, he told you it was stupid.)

Joel doesn’t want to be alone. Alone alone, not regular alone. Nobody does, okay? Sue him, it drove him mad.

Whatever. Whatever.

Joel doesn’t want to be alone, not again, not ever. But he gets close to people and it’s like he can just see them burn, wax pouring down their backs and plummeting to their deaths. He gets close, gets attached, and suddenly everything’s burning all over again, and all he can do is laugh and try to put it out as it sizzles at his fingertips.

Until everyone he loves is swallowed by the sea.

(Maybe a submarine, he thinks, eyes-wide and half-crazed. Maybe that’ll be safe, he should try that next game. He should.)

(Maybe’s better than nothing.)

So yeah, Joel wonders if it’s worth it, having anything at all. He wonders if it’s worth the effort, wonders if it’d hurt less to have nothing to lose– though he already knows the answer, and for goodness sake, he wishes it were different.

Joel sighs. This whole thinking thing is exhausting.

To be his is to burn. To reach out is to doom them. But Joel’s too selfish– too much, too bright, too hungry– not to do it anyway.

…Dammit, this got depressing anyway.

Joel swallows through the lump in his throat, and he reminds himself to breathe.

He’ll keep trying, is what he thinks in the end. He’ll keep trying. ‘Cuz what else can he do? Mope, cry about it? What other choice does he have?

Maybe one day he’ll make something, and he won’t have to see it be destroyed. Maybe one day he’ll go out peacefully.

Maybe one day people will stop making their wings out of stupid, meltable wax–

Yeah, okay. He’s getting sick of this metaphor too.

But like– he can’t help but think, you know, about that fall. About Icarus, and how he laughed as he fell into the sea. People say he was happy, even in the face of death, even as his wings burned and turned into soot.

A joy worth losing. A friend worth dying for. A home worth its destruction.

Tentatively, he lets himself think: That maybe, at the very least, that’s what it means to be his.

The thought makes him relax. (If only for now.)

…He hopes so. He really, really does.

#ryan's writing #joel smallishbeans #smallishbeans #trafficblr #traffic smp #mcyt fic #mcytblr #i dunno what else to tag this as lmfao #double life #double life smp

[spunsugarmusings]

Young Frankenstein: The Musical Starter Sentences

Starters from the Mel Brookes' hit musical Young Frankenstein. Change pronouns and tenses as necessary, and enjoy!

"What happened in that castle made our lives a living Hell!"

"We're the happiest town in town!"

"Hold the happiness!"

"Please, do I look like the kind of madman who'd prowl around graveyards, digging up freshly buried corpses?"

"I don't indulge in hijinks or tomfoolery!"

"I live for truth and reason, that's the reason I exist!"

"Hearts and lungs are simply tinker toys when stacked against the brain!"

"His reflexes have no freedom to react when I mistreat him."

"Those naughty thoughts are fine with me as long as they stay locked away in your imagination."

"You can savage me and ravage me; I care not what you do."

"Oh everybody look! How unique. They're not touching."

"Please keep your hands off these."

"It'll be like old time, you and me, right up there with the world's greatest pairs!"

"We've only met in a dream!"

"Up until now it's been the worst time, but now that you're here, we're a team!"

"What good is a stooge if he ain't got a boss?"

"I'm very high spirited, doctor. I hope you won't hold it against me."

"So, have you thought of any ways you could use me?"

"Nothing's better than a hayride, underneath the sun."

"There! There wolves!"

"There wolves, there castle!"

"Don't risk my curse, it could be worse!"

"Join the family business, learn the family trade!"

"Make yourself a monster, and make the world afraid!"

"Follow in our footsteps and you'll earn eternal fame!"

"As you know, predestination, from the day of your creation has determined you vocation, that's a fact!"

"Just relax, create a serum; come up with a brilliant theorum!"

"This is one position that you never can decline!"

"Love dances in on a whim."

"He was a bully and a brute, he was as crazy as a coot!"

"He was my boyfriend!"

"He always treated me like dirt!"

"But I was happy to be hurt!"

"I was an innocent young lamb, and he was a dirty old goat."

"He was the one I gave my heart to, but we were never wed, even so."

"If I'd mention wedlock, he put me in a headlock!"

"When I asked to be his wife, he stabbed me with a kitchen knife!"

"Where did all the good times go?!"

"If he had an angry fit, I was the first thing that he hit! But I didn't give a shit!"

"So, now we hurl the gauntlet of science into the frightful face of death itself."

"Death has ruled without question."

"Tear the night asunder, cast your light upon the dark!"

"Give my creature life!"

"We're considered both a Death and a Tourist Trap."

"Rich and poor are all soft-shoeing it in hotels or huts!"

"Even dogs are also doing it, pedigrees and mutts!"

"Do the Transylvania Mania!"

"Catch the monster before he strikes again!"

"Hello heartaches, goodbye kvellings."

"Let's forget about thinking, thinking's never smart."

"Flush your brain right down the drain, and listen to your heart!"

"Lose your mind, 'cause love is blind, and listen to your heart!"

"You'll find such bliss in the kissin' you're missin'."

"Intellectuals are ineffectuals when it comes to making love."

"Don't resist cupid's dart."

"Everybody loves to get a surprise."

"It all can change, if your fates arrange a nice surprise for you."

"There’s nothing like a wonderful surprise!"

"Here’s what we advise, never bother people with a surprise!"

"It's been so long since I felt the touch of someone's hand."

"Oh, Lord, let's face it, we're talkin' LONELY here!"

"You don't know your left from your right."

"You'll be the greatest creation of man since the invention of fire!"

"You'll be cheered, never feared evermore!"

"You know, until now my life has been nothing but a meaningless world of silly parties."

"Again? Oh, you're incouragable, aren't you?"

"We will take a hay ride when we're on our honeymoon!"

"Even monsters fall in love!"

#rp meme #askbox meme #inbox meme #roleplay meme #rp memes #ask meme #ask box meme #starter sentences #sentence starters #starter prompt #young frankenstein the musical #young frankenstein

[wyverns-blog]

You know, I'm still suffering from the fact that they didn't give Obito a legitimate summoning jutsu. I mean, he had the Gedo and the Kyubi, but they were due to a time limit and what I'm going for is a more "normal" summon, like the one with Kakashi's dogs.

I usually think he would have a fun mole summon, at least like Tobi. It would be very fun to see him place bombs underground while the moles help him or distract the enemy.

Going for something more serious, I would say that it would have a summoning of wolves.

Wolves are considered by many people to be solitary and solitary creatures, which is false because wolves depend on their teamwork to survive and obtain sustenance, forming packs and having souls etc etc. Although I remember that at some point in their lives, when the wolves stopped being puppies, they began a 'journey' as adults until they found a pack to which they belonged.

Without a doubt, teamwork and camaraderie was something that marked Obito's life, with his legendary phrase that we all know through Kakashi's mouth. That was how his shinobi path began, regardless of what happened next. And even after that "later", camaraderie remained fundamental for this Uchiha, in a darker or twisted way, but still there at the core. The moments that stand out from this were his trust in Kisame, how he protected him from an attack even though Kisame was completely capable of defending himself.

Or when he was angry at Konan for betraying him. Obito credits the Akatsuki as tools for Infinite Tsukuyomi, but when they die he ends up thanking them for their efforts, even when most of them only participated in the hunt for their own interests.

In short, Obito never stopped appreciating his companions, it was just that hatred destroyed his own philosophy of not abandoning them.

On the other hand, as a child, Obito was considered far inferior to Kakashi, despite his Uchiha genes. Although we don't know the Hatake clan very well, it is clear that the Uchiha has more dominance. Watching Obito lose to Kakashi is like watching a wolf lose to a dog. And I really don't know if you've heard that saying about "a dog raised in a family of felines", but I think it completely complements Obito and how he couldn't adapt to those who would become his family.

When Obito loses his team (post kannabi accident), it is the same as a wolf losing its pack and being vulnerable to more ferocious creatures and famine. Having to coexist with others like Akatsuki to move forward, being truly alone and just keeping watch. Lonely until he manages to redeem himself through the combined words of Naruto, Kakashi and Minato.

Obito has this appearance of being lonely and dangerous, and he is, but deep down, he wanted to return to what he could consider was his family. Very similar to the wolf, huh...

Wolves have their strength in their pack, where the group hunting strategy is a pillar for their survival. Obito was alone and away from his clan as an outcast, weak because he didn't have someone who would take the time to really motivate or teach him (Minato is not a good sensei, sorry), and wolf cubs need training to learn to hunt and be strong.

In short, Obito is the idea of a wolf who lost his pack and had to survive by adapting to loneliness alone.

#uchiha obito #obito uchiha #naruto shippuden #obito #naruto #tobi #invocation jutsu #wolve

[loversofthegrave]

BALLAD OF A FREAK BOY - sammy playlist X

no one's boy marcy playground 2. my beloved monster eels 3. where is my mind pixies 4. me and the devil soap&skin 5. please please please let me get what i want deftones 6. to be alone with you sufjan stevens 7. flume bon iver 8. child psychology black box recorder 9. brother alice in chains 10. your lucky day in hell eels 11. king's crossing elliott smith 12. i'm so tired fugazi 13. talk show host radiohead 14. son of sam elliott smith 15. how to fight loneliness wilco 16. heart of darkness sparklehorse 17. lonely day system of a down 18. metal heart cat power 19. bleed the freak alice in chains 20. half right heatmiser 21. nutshell alice in chains 22. bottle up and explode elliott smith 23. troubled times screaming trees 24. sad and beautiful world sparklehorse 25. last call elliott smith 26. a wolf at the door radiohead 27. bootcamp soundgarden 28. frogs alice in chain 29. losing my religion r.e.m 30. say hello 2 heaven temple of the dog 31. do you believe in the rapture sonic youth 32. mental eels 33. gouge away pixies 34. novocaine for the soul eels 35. spaceboy the smashing pumpkins 36. last night i dreamed somebody loved me the smiths 37. inbred ethel cain 38. the bends radiohead 39. i need some sleep eels 40. sleep forever portugal, the man 41. father of mine everclear 42. just mark ronson, phantom planet 43. opium marcy playground 44. jigsaw falling into place radiohead 45. sinister kid the black keys 46. special death mirah 47. the wolves (act I and II) bon iver 48. why i don't believe in god everclear 49. love of the loveless eels 50. about today the national 51. it's been awhile staind 52. too afriad to love you the black keys 53. one more suicide marcy playground 54. lonely boy the black keys 55. mouth bush 56. to forgive the smashing pumpkins 56. fell on black days soundgarden 57. out of my hands dave matthews band 58. what's the matter milo greene 59. little black submarines the black keys 60. cold contagious bush 61. only dying - demo stone temple pilots 62. eye the smashing pumpkins 63. abuse me silverchair 64. soma the smashing pumpkins 65. pretty (ugly before) elliott smith 66. the vampyre of time and memory queens of the stone age 67. ugly - sadlands demo the smashing pumpkins 68. freak silverchair 69. feel the pain dinosaur jr 70. creep stone temple pilots

#grunge boy sammyz #playlist #sammy #sammycore #sam winchester #spn #supernatural

[redliferiot]

ok here i am writing out my thoughts on double life pearl. pulling out my literary analysis brain for an unscripted minecraft series thats how it is

more below cut

so my interpretation of life series pearl (in both last and double life) is fundamentally tied to her relationship with scott so i'll also be speaking abt him alot in this little ramble

scott won last life. last life, fundamentally, was built on blocks of betrayal. while 3rd life had its healthy does of backstabbing, its got nothing on what the boogeyman mechanic introduced. all alliances suddenly got far shakier. no one could really trust anyone, but scott did not play by the rules. during his first time as boogey, he directly told his teammates (never stated to be against the rules but as far as i can tell hes the only person to have done this ever) and goes to kill someone who is specifically against him & his allies (rip impulse). during his second chance at life-series sanctioned amicide, he breaks the rules even further. he downright refuses to kill one of his allies- at this point in the series, anyone not red is his ally, so killing any of them would result in an ally lost. scott remained loyal in a game of backstabbing, and it earned him the victory.

if last life was a game of backstabbing, then double life was a game of loyalty. the soulmate mechanic not only reinforced ties of loyalty- literally paring up players into neat pairs- but it relied on that. if you shared a health bar, you'd have to be loyal to one another, or else you'd die. it's practically set up for scott to succeed, just like he succeeded during last life. if he plays all the same cards, he'll win. the game is designed with him in mind. he's even paired up with his most trusted ally from last life, pearl. he can't lose.

except, he absolutely can, because through the folly of circumstance, he and pearl end the first session wanting nothing to do with each other.

once again scott has broken the rules of the series. he's scorned his soulmate (who, in another life, was such a trusted ally he'd doom himself to red to spare her), and broken the chain. even in a game designed for him, he breaks the rules.

and this is where pearl gets involved

pearl, throughout both last life and double life, is paired with scott- once on their own terms (her terms, really- as she was blessed with extra lives, it was her decision to share her lives with scott that really solidified their alliance), and once by the hands of god. the universe wanted a perfect repeat performance of last life, a celebratory encore of the victory of someone who broke the rules and won despite it, and they did not get it. they did not get their perfect designed ending

instead, they got pearl.

pearl, like scott, does not play by the rules in last life. it's impossible for her to play by the rules, when her soulmate has scorned her so, but she takes it to new levels. She harms her soulmate, directly (ice bucket challenge, anyone?), and in the process also harms herself. she lives alone- scott, at least, has a chosen partner, and martyn spends considerable time trying to get cleo back, but pearl does no such thing. she builds herself an isolated tower and surrounds herself with her army of wolves

pearl's story in double life is, essentially, a story of lonliness (this is reflected in her motifs- lone wolf, wolves & the moon, etc). throughout the series, none of her alliances last long- hardly any make it longer than one episode. she truly is alone, her only constant fried throughout the series being tilly. tilly was there before she knew her soulmate was scott, and she was there after she was scorned. pearl relies on her dogs for protection- as minecraft dogs are very good at providing- but also, for what others refuse her: companionship.

like scott is a loyal victory in a game of traitors, pearl is a lonesome victor in a game of lovers. in the end, she stands alone- scorned and soulmate-less, the winner only because her opponent decided to loose. she, like scott, won a game designed against her. against the wishes of the univese, she stands alone

ANYWAYS tldr pearl and scott both broke the rules of their series and won bc of it, sorry no grian mention even tho i have thoughts about his 3l victory and treasure him dearly he just straight up isnt relevant to this one. might write more of these long ish analysis posts cause i had alot of fun with this one

#scott smajor #pearlescentmoon #smajor1995 #double life #double life scott #double life pearl #life series #trafficblr #double life analysis #long post #innsjotxt #im sure all this has kinda been said before but i wanted to write out my specific thoughts #also 'the universe' more or less equals 'the watchers' in this

[rayclubs]

Nobody asked for this but I'm rating TMA fear entities by how scary they are.

The Eye

This bitch should be afraid of me

I set my 0.5L bear head shaped glass mug of discount bootleg pepsi on the table and say "Watch This" and the ceaseless wanker never recovers

0/10 turn your gaze upon. My peanits

The Web

Kind of a MILF and they do intimidate me if I'm being honest

Spiders are pretty disturbing ever since I wrote that story about a gigantic man-eating species with blades for legs, but then there's Jolene who lives on my window and catches the bugs that are Far Worse so I don't even know

4/10 for honest effort, you go girl

The Dark

Scary in the sense that I will stab me goddamn toe

So fun fact, when I was a kid my parents brought home a wooden crate full of pears and set it on the floor near the kitchen doorframe and I ran by at full speed and whacked my pinky toe against it full force, it was bleeding like fuck but for whatever genius reason my parents didn't move the crate so next day I ran the exact same trajectory and didn't have a nail on my pinky toe for six months. But that was in broad daylight so

2/10 get torched idiot

The Vast

I could never be afraid of something so, so sexy

I guess I have an instinctive moderate fear of heights? I did fall off a tree once, and I am prone to window-jumping attempts, but it's not like I can't climb a ladder or anything. The ocean though? The open space? Tell me more

3/10 we on purposed kiss

The Buried

I would DIE in the buried

Petition to rename Too Close I Cannot Breathe to Get The Fuck Away From Me

7/10 can you tell I'm familiar with the crushing weight of poverty

The Flesh

Too funny to be scary

Yeah blood, yeah meat, I'm made of it babygirl don't even worry. I bet you only hate Viscera because your ribs are weird. Not me. Could never be me. My rib is beautiful and pristine, my bone marrow is delish, and my garden is FLOURISHING.

2/10 for the fear of actually going to the gym

The Hunt

It's Gonna Getcha

Kind of boring? Neighborhood stray dogs are scary but at some point you just say "fuck it" and walk the shortcut anyway. We don't have wolves or bears here where I live, it's pretty chill.

2/10 vampires aren't even that sexy (sorry)

The Corruption

I do NOT. Fuck with The Corruption. I DO NOT. Fucking hell.

Bone-chilling, terrifying, absolute bullshit whore of a fear, I HATE her, I hate her SO MUCH, watch me run out of my house screaming upon encountering one motherfucking bitch of a worm, I'm calling extermination services so quick you won't even have the time to say "Filth", FUCK The Corruption

10/10 aaa a a aa a a

The Stranger

Who

I don't know what "uncanny valley" means. I've read the definition but I do not understand the concept. Plastic people don't make any sense to me. "Things that aren't what they should be" does not make sense to me. I Might have identity issues

0/10 fucking clowns

The Slaughter

Soldier TF2

Respectfully and conceptually frightening but not on any personal level. Don't like thinking about it because there's a war just over the border right now, but also everyday things still need done y'know?

5/10

The Spiral

Hawt

Another thing that is conceptually scary but I would just deal with it in a producthve manner because I'm autism powers. Also I get lost even in normal, non-distorted places, so I'm what you may call experienced

4/10 mickey

The Lonely

MY GORGEOUS WIFE

I think about The Lonely at least once a day, I want to go there forever. Will you go to The Lonely with me? Will you? Will you?

0/10 she makes me so happy I want to cry

The Desolation

Yeah fire doesn't do it for me

Can't be scared of losing your home if you don't have a home in the first place

3/10 I'm scared of mean women

The Extinction

Been there done that

More hopeful than scary. Made in Heaven that shit aye

1/10 who gives a shits

The End

Ah well

I mean, I could die tomorrow and I wouldn't care. Cause I'd be dead. Cheers for the living but I'm different.

2/10 the scariest part is all the tentacles

#tma #the magnus archives #ray's bs

[creepypasta-darling]

What happened when Julius met LJ? What are your HCs regarding Julius when it comes to the rest of the creeps?

(I'm not sure why but I feel like julius would get along very well with liu and bloody painter)

Anon you are absolutely right!

Julius the Dressmaker + How He Met The Creeps

I feel like he was alone for a long time. He just didn't need another partner in crime or another person getting in the way.

He met LJ at the local Speakeasy. Everyone there was confused on why a monochrome clown was there. They started to talk and LJ saw right through Julius. "So, you're like a demon, right?" The question caught Julius off guard and had him questioning whether or not to leave or kill LJ right there. "It's okay, I'm somewhat of a deity myself. You should meet some of my friends, you might get along with them."

That's how he met Candy Pop and Jason. Julius and Jason hit it off right away, but it took at least another decade for Candy Pop to even care about Julius. It wasn't until Julius one day brought one of his creations that Candy Pop even saw potential in Julius.

With becoming friends with Jason, he became friends with Vine. They met by accident because about another decade later Julius came to visit Jason, and Jason and Vine were hanging out. Which put High Alert in Julius's mind. Was he already going to lose a friend? But alas, he just gained a new one once Vine saw how much Julius's design looked like dolls.

Because Julius and Vine got along well, Vine had Julius met Papa Grande. Papa Grande was very skeptical of Julius, and the two never really got along well. They are two lone wolves when it comes to one another.

Because Julius had made friends with LJ's close friends, LJ invited Julius to the mansion to hang out In 2015. LJ introduced Julius to everybody there.

BEN, Puppeteer, and Suicide Sadie all thought Julius was a ghost at first due to his complexion. They tried to make him out how he passed so they could make him meet Sally. Julius, though, never told them.

Jeff and Nina didn't like him at all. Indifferent, passive, and ignorant towards him, even. Smile Dog liked getting pets so he tried to get Julius to pet him. Grinny Cat also tried to get close to him upon first meeting.

The Proxies saw right through Julius and decided to stay away. (I headcanon that the Proxies are kind of casteist and don't really like the demons. Hopefully I'll expand on it later but it's a big thing that is hard to explain. Think of Hamilton though. "Immigrants, we get the job done." But with demons.)

Speaking of demons, there was a small power struggle between him and them. EJ usually keeps out of stuff like that, but Kagekao was trying to pull pranks on Julius as soon as he entered the building. Yeahh that didn't really go well. Since they always hang out in the basement and LJ has his own room up near the actually demon/deity floor they don't interact a lot so that saves the heartache.

Clockwork liked Julius. He reminded her a lot of herself and Helen, who she deeply admires. Any artistic person usually gets on her good side, so it's no wonder she liked him lolz. Him, on the other hand, finds her desperate and clingy. And where he hates women it's hard for him to respect her. ESPECIALLY because she's so outspoken and dominant.

When he went to leave the mansion after hanging out he found the cabins. There, he met Helen and Dina. Helen and Julius instantly clicked when Julius saw Helen painting and using a body for a reference. Dina took some getting used to. It took a few times of Julius coming over for her to leave the two alone. (I headcanon Dina has BPD which is me projecting but it really makes sense for her character lolz. So it's hard for her to leave Helen alone.)

Then, he met the Rake, Momo, and BOB. Did not like any of them. Found them too be "too ugly" and in need of fixing. Which resulting in him getting toxic urine on him, which he did not appreciate.

All in all, he made quite a few friends, and there's only a few he doesn't know yet. He still has no idea about Zalgo and Zalgo's children, which is a good thing. And Puppeteer one day wants Zachery to meet Julius. Even if it's just to spy on him lolz.

I hope these were okay!! I'm so sorry this post is so long I got so excited to talk about it because I have this whole timeline I've thought about posting about when the creeps entered the mansion and how they interact with each other lolz. I'm so glad that I got to post some of it with Julius lolz I hope you guys like it!

#creepypasta #creepypasta-darling #headcannons #headcanons #julius the dressmaker #anon #laughing jack #jason the toymaker #vine the doll maker #papa grande di magico #proxies #slenderverse #creepypasta masky #creepypasta hoodie #nina the killer #jeff the killer #the rake #smiledog.jpeg #smile dog #grinny cat #zalgo's proxies #creepypasta zachary #eyeless jack #kagekao #clockwork #bloody painter #judge angels #creepypasta bob #creepypasta momo #creepypasta suicide sadie

[fuckupguitarist1039]

Throw Me to the Wolves

I’m like a dog scratching a scab. I don’t know that it’s bad for me. This fresh wound is a comfort, I’ve adjusted. The stitching done through this long bleeding cut, which is all I have left of a life before the kindness of humans, my life as a stray, drives me insane. I want to cut it out. Please just let me bleed. I feel safer walking the line of life and death than I ever will in your furnace heated home. 

I scratch my stitches open. You bring me back to the vet. Put me in a cone. I’ll writhe and howl in pain. Please don’t try to fix me, this wound is my own. Four walls against a deep cut, we both call them home. I remember how it happened, I narrowly escaped death at the hands of another. And I have bled since then, oozing out of a slit just behind where my neck meets my head. Would raising my nose to the sky to admire the sky’s early dusk beauty be the chance of a lifetime? Something I haven’t yet seen? Yes, I’m sorry, but I’d rather bleed. 

And in the night while my loving family’s asleep, I run back to the woods. I search for him endlessly, the man who cut me deep. Revenge or to befriend, a decision I have not yet made. Turning up empty handed, as the sun once again reaches out towards the sky, I whine my ear-splitting whine and roll over, I cannot cry. 

All day I scratch and tear open these stitches and scabs. All night I chase the hallucinogenic scent you leave behind. I start to think a little too much on these long and lonely nights: For these four years this cut has been me, though the real injury, I’ve begun to think, is you. I feel you with me every time I peel off this scab, and expend my energy through sleepless nights hopelessly chasing you. I scratch seeking comfort, not in the blood staining my matted fur, but in the falsity of your presence. The delusional narrative you comb those woods for me. You send out a search party, long nights thinking of me. The bite scar on your hand: Tattooed in my memory. 

Your love for me ran out the night that you struck and sent me away. Left me in the woods, for the darkness to digest. It’s in there, it’s in there somewhere. It sits deep in my chest as it rots in the pit of your stomach. Dig it out. Dig it out for me. Or I will dig it out of you. True love can never entirely dissipate, only buried deep. I’ll cut you open and dig it out if that’s what it takes. I’ll come back, over and over, relentless like a dog. I’ll love you post- every hit, curse, and sleepless night, more loyal than any woman could ever be. Think of what you’re losing, you just need to search for me. 

I’ll run into your arms, melting into a sweet return; My current family left thoughtlessly behind. Or, I will follow you home, as you cold-shoulder me away. Eventually you’ll accept my presence once again, a droning air conditioning unit in the back corner of your room. I require no maintenance, I’ll work relentlessly; Whatever you need, lay it on me. No mechanics or therapy, I require no training. I’ll bite for you and only you, I’ll never hurt you again. I’d say we’re even, scarred from each other's battle wounds, though it wasn’t much of a fight, I took it on the chin without regret. This wound is all I have left of you, I cannot forget you. I won’t let it heal. 

If the blood running down my back had a page reserved for a dedication, only your name would be listed. Though I was the one who scratched it open, I will bleed eternally, permanently in love with you. Somewhere between heaven and hell, I search through both for a sign of you, leaving a spotted trail behind me. I know eventually, my uncovered trail will attract my personal grim reaper: I will be killed and eaten as my father before me. Thrown to the wolves in a literal sense. However I will die with a smile plastered across my expressionless face, knowing I died in search of you. 

So until I meet my early grave, I will chase after you each day, and scratch open this wound, because I’d do whatever, at any expense, as long as I’m doing it for you.

#writeblr #creative writing #writers and poets #writing #tumblr fyp #chaotic academia #writers on tumblr

[meowmageddon]

November 2023 Reading Update!

I may have delayed this one a few days because I was finishing up my library book and about to pick up more...😹 There's a bit to cover this time, so here's another Read More for those brave enough to wade through a couple mini-reviews, the current lineup, many acquisitions (purchased, checked out, and even won), and a lone new release shoutout.

October Mini-Reviews

White Cat, Black Dog by Kelly Link - 5 stars

How could it not be 5 stars? I love Kelly Link's stories, and a whole three of these were rereads I'd already loved before. "The Lady and the Fox" was still a very charming tale, and I had a lot of fun with "The White Cat's Divorce."

Starter Villain by John Scalzi - 4 stars

Perhaps the objective rating would be 3.5 stars-ish, since I don't know that I would have been nearly as interested without the cats and dolphins. And the first half of the book is basically orientation. But by the end I'd had a lot of fun and it was silly and even cute at times. A fluffy read, not just because of the cats.

Current November Reads

Lone Women by Victor LaValle

Nearly finished, only reason I have not is because I had to prioritize library reads and I try to keep some momentum with Speaking Bones lmao. Continues to be A Lot and the wild twists and turns are increasing.

The Forest Brims Over by Maru Ayase (translated by Haydn Trowell)

After reading the synopsis on my library's app, I immediately placed a hold on this. A woman serves as the muse for her husband's novels, losing her own privacy and self, until she beings sprouting after eating a bowl of seeds. He sets her up in an aquaterrarium and intends to continue exploiting her, but she outgrows this container and consumes the city.

Speaking Bones by Ken Liu

Reached the 1/3rd mark of this thousand-page tome! Back in the pattern of personal stories, clever inventions, and tense battles.

Fresh Dirt from the Grave by Giovanna Rivero

Briefly had to return the ebook for others' holds, but I have it again via Libby. About 30% through. Not sure about some of the portrayals of Indigenous and Japanese characters in a couple stories, but I am of neither background, so your mileage may vary.

Acquisitions and Further Plans

I've ended up with a bunch of new books, though only one is directly purchased... 😅

The Crane Husband by Kelly Barnhill

Picked up this novella at the library, so it'll be the next read after The Forest Brims Over. It's a retelling of The Crane Wife, exploring domestic abuse. A woman marries a crane, which menaces her teen daughter and the younger son her daughter is essentially helping raise.

Feed Them Silence by Lee Mandelo

Another Tor novella from the library! A scientist studying the few remaining wild wolves uses tech to experience one's perceptions directly in her own mind. Her absorption in the task threatens her relationship with her wife as well as her own wellbeing, and those funding the work could doom the wolves in the end.

Our Shadows Have Claws: 15 Latin American Monster Stories ed. by Yamile Saied Méndez and Amparo Ortiz

Anthology of stories from Latin American YA authors that I won in a Goodreads giveaway! I've been lucky this year 😹

Let Us Descend Jesmyn Ward

My pick from Book of the Month's November selections. An enslaved girl endures the cruelties of slavers and plantation life, while taking comfort from the memories of her maternal ancestors and the spirits of the world around her.

An Upcoming Release

I've been a bit behind on looking at what's coming up at the end of the year, so here's the one thing I know of that intrigues me quite a bit:

Winter Harvest by Ioanna Papadopoulou (November 21st)

There are a lot of retellings lately of the Hades & Persephone myth, but this book is from the perspective of Demeter (and incorporates other myths surrounding her). After her own difficult life, the abduction of her daughter is a tipping point into Demeter's transformation into a chthonic goddess of both life and death.

And before I let you go, I want to again highlight the Indiginerds project from Iron Circus Comics, running on BackerKit for another 12 days! Help them get to the $35k stretch goal that unlocks donation copies for Indigenous libraries! A great way to observe Native American Heritage Month.

If you read all the way through, thank you so much! 😻

#long post #books #tbr #November 2023 tbr #Kitty's Reading List

[markslittleproblems]

Chapters: 4/? Fandom: James Bond (Craig Movies), James Bond (Brosnan Movies) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: James Bond/Q/Alec Trevelyan, James Bond/Q, James Bond/Alec Trevelyan Characters: James Bond, Q (James Bond), Alec Trevelyan, Eve Moneypenny, M | Olivia Mansfield, M | Gareth Mallory Additional Tags: Slow Burn, Angst, Morally Ambiguous Character, Getting Back Together, Established Relationship, Early Days, Time Skips, 1990s, 2010s, Past Relationship(s), Janus - Freeform, Disappearance Summary:

Once, James and Alec were promised to a bright future in the Service. Once, they were friends, comrades, and more. And then Alec found himself tipping over the edge and trying to reclaim the little existence that he had always been denied, losing everything. There is no coming back. Or so he always thought.

#jaq #james bond #bond x trevelyan #alec trevelyan #goldeneye #00q #007 x 006 #00q00 #lone wolves and losing dogs #00qupdate

[sideblogformindtrash]

Cw: pet whump, panic attacks mentioned, nightmares, therapy

The therapist shakes her legs softly, writing something down on her clipboard as June relates to her yet another tale of terrible nightmares. 

She's been great, and patient, and each passing day, he fears will be the moment she tells them that she can no longer help him. 

This room has become too important of a space for him to lose now, safe with the succulent plants all over the shelves, the books, a big window, too high on the building to be visible for anyone outside, but giving them a clear sight of the neighborhood.

"...I'm… not sure if it feels worse that I'm alone when I wake up… or not" he admits.

Feels like he should be able to handle this by now, having been lonely for such a long time, on the darkest of the woods.

On his city apartment, there are no lonely trees to cast monstrous shadows, no wolves barking in the night, no soft cry in the basement. 

He longs for that, as sick as it was, because the sounds of a busy mainstreet, parties and nosy neighbours all sound more agressive and unreal to him. 

"Maybe you should adopt a pet" she suggests lifting her eyes from the clipboard "They are no replacement for human company, but they help with loneliness. If you get a cat or a dog, we can even look into options of getting them trained to help you with your panic attacks"

He toys with the hem of his shirt. Animals are better than people. It 's… true. 

"What if I can't take care of them?" 

Again she smiles, trustingly. She's put so much faith in them, that June is getting scared of disappointed her, like he has everyone else. 

"Well… I think you'll do just fine. Besides… animals make themselves heard. It's a good motivation to get up every morning, caring for a beloved company"

He tries to envision his life with a pet. Maybe yeah, it would be easier to get out of bed if he had a cat meowing at his year at six am because it's hungry. He smiles a little, and when he realizes it, he hides it. 

-

He goes to the shop, if only to tell his therapist that he did. 

It's immediately overwhelming. The strong smell of pet food, clinking toys, extreme colors everywhere. The forest has very little space for bright yellows, strong pinks and dark blues. 

He does his best to ignore that, quickly escaping into the back of the store.

The sight of cages wouldn't be welcomed usually, but .. it's way easier to deal with it when they are filled with cute little animals. 

He goes, one by one, checking cats and dogs and even a rabbit. Yet, he isn't prepared for what he sees in the last cage.

A person. 

Dressed in frilly clothes, with sweet, doe eyes and a collar, and a price tag on the cage. 

Yeah. 

June's heard about it.

These Pets were not a thing, when he was taken. But those were long years, and lots of things can happen

He knew there had been some resistance at first, but with the Pets appearing on tv and celebrities getting them, they started to slowly grow in popularity. 

Enough that when he was rescued, they thought he was one, and he was taken to a shelter, until they found out just how long it had been.

Then… suddenly, he became a much more interesting case, because pet abuse… was becoming normal. But a boy kidnapped by a murderer. 

He gets emails from true crimes fans every other week. 

June walks closer to the cage, and the pet locks eyes with him. He approaches the bars, much like the others, putting his head against the bars to ask for caresses. 

June can't bring themselves to. 

"Will you be my new master?" He giggles. 

It's a very convincing plea and smile.

But June is good at seeing the darkness in people, and this boy has a lot of it, locked behind the sweet eyes. 

He almost wants to tear him open, just to watch it spill. Because as he said… he would be the master. 

"...Ah, these are really popular nowadays" 

June nearly jumps, turning around to see a clerk with their customer service smile. 

He immediately shifts feeling small as scared as if… as if they could just tell what lies inside him, too. 

"...Can I help?" The clerk ends up asking as June tries to recollect. 

"I'm looking for… a… cat… that can… be… therapy pet" he whispers, fighting against his words . He must have sounded so stupid, but the clerk nods, understanding. 

"Well. Cats are hard to train" he gestures to the cage again "You'd better with this guy here… or a dog, I suppose"

June shakes his head. After all of that… he's no fan of dogs. 

"Cat" he repeats again. 

"...We can even call the company. They offer to add in the training for a fee" the clerk says, and June isn't sure if he didn't hear… or didn't care. He keeps going on about it, until June feels .. cornered, overwhelmed, almost panicked. And the pet stares, with doe like eyes. 

-

Next week, he tells their therapist about the new pet. And that he indeed is sleeping better. She seems proud and happy, writing down on her clipboard. 

He doesn't mention what kind of pet that is. June wonders how she would react. 

#whump #pet whump #pumpkin the whumpee #pumpkin the poor little meow meow

[aworldofyou]

With the whole Natives in media thing, you are so right. Those “progressive-for-the-sake-of-seeming-like-a-good-person” people will say that they want to see Natives in shows and movies, only because it’s “representation.” But when there’s talk of actually putting a Native in a movie? All hell breaks loose for them…

And people wonder why I LOATHE woke crap. It's literally all virtue signalling! That's literally it! These people who claim to be on our side lose their absolute MINDS when anything is given to us. When Reservation Dogs came out, a view into literally HOW IT IS LIVING ON A RESERVATION! They cried and called it racist because there were nothing but natives in it (guess what we have on a reservation? A MAJORITY OF NATIVE PEOPLE), when 1883 and 1923 came out I've seen people outright say RIGHT HERE IN TUMBLR! they don't want to watch it because of the 'indigenous scenes in it'. They're actively showing their racism in the recent Lilo & Stitch debacle by saying the HAWAIIAN ACTRESS isn't BROWN enough.

Don't even get me started on how people shit on JOHNNY DEPP for his role in Lone Ranger and FOR HAVING ACTUAL INDIGENOUS PEOPLE IN HIS DIOR COMMERCIAL!!

THEY ALSO SHIT ON DANCES WITH WOLVES ALL THE TIME!!

THEY STILL SHIT ON THE TWILIGHT SERIES!!

OH! and they told the dreaded JK ROWLING she can't put Natives in Harry Potter because 'it's racist to make them magical' (BITCH WHEN? We could have had NATIVE WIZARDS!)

The only movie they celebrated, literally made a tribe look like DUMB CAVE PEOPLE. It was called PREY, and they celebrated a family that is actually pretending to be from a Reservation.

The worse thing is? They're not even hiding it anymore, and nothing rages me more about it.

#[ out of character. ] answered #anonymous #[ i also no longer support the organization that calls themselves MMI/W ]

[deterioratedpieceofchocolate]

Suicide song-

The bridge overheard the demon talk

Turned rogue and bloody at shiny dawn

Closed it's golden gates with a mystical node

Fell right through the waters too quick on overdrawn

The fire turned the cellar door to ash

Then was obscured by angel on his track

Asked them if the faith of light is back?

The angel laughed, then the flame turned to sand

The car was moving in restraint

The fuel was running quick frame by frame

The passengers were breathless and shrill

For drunk thanatos was on their trail

Then passion bled a little unwanted hope

The moonlight struck her shadowy howl

The wolves were losing all control

The lonely knife melted by her haunting call

The lady who bought heaven and gold

Was looking down to our weary hold

She lustfully denied the wall of stone

To drink and whore away our worthless blood

The peak who loved the loud echoes

Was calm and tall and death and foe

His was the hold of unbeatable dogs

That were controlled by smirky fox

Then he died of silence, the lady ordered it

The moon was suspicious of the car which was crashed

The sand turned to glass to mirror the bridge and his splash

The lonely knife closed the drapes to offer the final slash

Love.

#poetry #poets on tumblr

[shesey]

Elif Shafak’s The Forty Rules of Love | Excerpts

She had always known that they did not connect on any deep level, but connecting emotionally need not be a priority on a married couple’s list, she thought, especially for a man and a woman who had been married for so long. She never confronted the death of anything, be it a habit, a phase, or a marriage, even when the end stood right in front of her, plain and inevitable. And it happened fast, so fast in fact that Ella had no time to realize what was happening and to be on guard, if one could ever be on guard against love. She started to cry, unable to hold back this continuing sadness that had, without her knowledge, become a part of who she was. It wasn’t fair to the angel. But then again, this world was not known for its justice, was it? They say there is a thin line between losing yourself in God and losing your mind. You see, dervish, it wasn’t always like this. Violence wasn’t my element, but it is now. When God forgets about us down here, it falls upon us common people to toughen up and restore justice. So next time you talk to Him, you tell Him that. Let Him know that when He abandons his lambs, they won’t meekly wait to be slaughtered. They will turn into wolves. She had so much love to give and yet no one demanding it. Or how come she felt so lonely even though she had a large, loving family? That was when I realized that although I loved my parents and craved their love, they were strangers to me. I hunt everywhere for a life worth living and a knowledge worth knowing. Having roots nowhere, I have everywhere to go. I have seen the worst and the best in humanity. Nothing surprises me anymore. No matter who we are or where we live, deep inside we all feel incomplete. It’s like we have lost something and need to get it back. Just what that something is, most of us never find out. And of those who do, even fewer manage to go out and look for it. When something needs to be said, I’ll say it even if the whole world grabs me by the neck and tells me to keep quiet. Cities are erected on spiritual columns. Like giant mirrors, they reflect the hearts of their residents. The Tree of the Brokenhearted. Those with broken hearts write down their names on pieces of paper and tie these to the branches, praying for their hearts to be healed. One thing that has helped me personally in the past was to stop interfering with the people around me and getting frustrated when I couldn’t change them. Instead of intrusion or passivity, may I suggest submission? Submission is a form of peaceful acceptance of the terms of the universe, including the things we are currently unable to change or comprehend. But knowledge is like brackish water at the bottom of an old vase unless it flows somewhere. Ella found it odd that sex had once been so important in her life, and now when it was gone, she felt relieved, almost liberated. The glow between them, the light that had helped them to navigate the uncharted waters of marriage, keeping their desire afloat, even after three kids and twenty years, was simply not there anymore. An outsider watching them might assume they were a perfect family, as graceful as the wisps of smoke slowly dissolving in the air. Something inside Ella snapped. She understood with chilling clarity and calm that despite her inexperience and timidity, one day she would abandon it all: her kitchen, her dog, her children, her neighbors, her husband, her cookbooks and homemade-bread recipes... she would simply walk out into the world where dangerous things happened all the time. Intellect and love are made of different materials. Intellect ties people in knots and risks nothing, but love dissolves all tangles and risks everything. Intellect is always cautious and advises, beware too much ecstacy, whereas love says, oh never mind! Take the plunge! Intellect does not easily break down, whereas love can effortless reduce itself to rubble. But treasures are hidden among ruins. A broken heart hides treasures. But eventually it is best to find a person, the person who will be your mirror. Remember, only in another person’s heart can you truly see yourself. A Sufi is thankful not only for what he has been given but also for all that he has been denied. Patience does not mean to passively endure. It means to be farsighted enough to trust the end result of a process. What does patience mean? It means to look at the thorn and see the rose, to look at night and see the dawn. She sat curled up in her rocking chair, and wondered how she, hurt and cynical as she was, could ever experience love again. Love was for those looking for some rhyme or reason in this wildly spinning world. But what about those who had long given up the quest? The midwife knows that when there is no pain, the way for the baby cannot be opened and the mother cannot give birth. Likewise, for a new Self to be born, hardship is necessary. Just as clay needs to go through intense heat to become string, Love can only be perfected in pain. The quest for Love changes us. There is no seeker among us those who search for Love who has not matured on the way. The moment you start looking for Love, you start to change within and without. She had read in women’s magazines that families who regularly had a proper breakfast together were more cohesive and harmonious than those in which each member rushed out the door half hungry. And though she firmly believed in this research, she had yet to experience the joyful breakfast the magazines wrote about. Each time I say good-bye to a place I like, I feel like I am leaving a part of me behind. I guess whether we choose to travel as much as Marco Polo did or stay in the same spot from cradle to grave, life is a sequence of births and deaths. Moments are born and moments die. For new experiences to come to light, old ones need to wither away. Don’t you think? Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead, let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come? Personally, I didn’t think there was anything wrong with sadness. Just the opposite - hypocrisy made people happy, and truth made them sad. Though it is less profitable, I find begging much easier than praying. At least I am not deceiving anyone. Your hand opens and closes all the time. If it did not, you would be paralyzed. Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding. The two are as beautifully balanced and coordinated as the wings of a bird. At first, I liked what he said. It warmed by heart to think of joy and sorrow as dependent on each other as a bird’s wings. Despite their seemingly endless differences, all of these people gave off a similar air of incompleteness, of the works in progress that they were, each an unfinished masterwork. Where do you get these ridiculous ideas? Do you think God is an angry, moody patriarch watching us from the skies above so that He can rain stones and frogs on our heads the moment we err? Befitting her general mood, Ella woke up sad. But not sad as in weepy and unhappy, only sad as in unwilling to smile and take things lightly. She felt as though she had reached a milestone she was not prepared for. Birthdays have always made me happy, but this morning I woke up with a heaviness in my chest... I kept wondering, is the way I’ve lived my life the way I want to continue from now on? And then a fearful feeling came over me. What if both a yes and a no might generate equally disastrous consequences? Things become manifest through opposites. Behind all hardships was a larger scheme. If the same drink made some merry and tipsy and others wicked and aggressive, shouldn’t we hold the drinkers responsible instead of the drink? We raised our glasses and toasted together, hard though it was to believe, to a God who could love and forgive us even when we ourselves clearly failed to do so. She asked God to either provide her with a love that would absorb her whole being or else make her tough and careless enough not to mind the absence of love in her life. Some men have a way of wanting to sleep with prostitutes and yet at the same time insulting them. If you want to change the way others treat you, you should first change the way you treat yourself. Unless you learn to love yourself, fully and sincerely, there is no way you can be loved. The past is a whirlpool. If you let it dominate your present moment, it will suck you in. Fret not where the road will take you. Instead concentrate on the first step. That’s the hardest part and that’s what you are responsible for. Once you take that step let everything do what it naturally does and the rest will follow. Do not go with the flow. Be the flow. If God’s paradise is reserved for people of your kind, I’d rather burn in hell anyhow.�� Doubts are good. It means you are alive and searching. In everything we do, it is our hearts that make the difference, not our outer appearance. To him, people who had not made their heart their primary guide to life, who could not open up to love and follow its path the way a sunflower follows the sun, were not really alive. Aziz was that rare type of man a woman could love without losing her self-respect. “What will be, will be” has never sat right with me. The rest is not in my hands. And this is what the Sufis call the fifth element - the void. The inexplicable and uncontrollable divine element that we as human beings cannot comprehend and yet should always be aware of. I don’t believe in “inaction” if by that you mean doing nothing at all and showing no deep interest in life. But I do believe in respecting the fifth element. What ingredients do you think you are putting in the collective strew of humanity. It always made me both immensely sad and elated to listen to a town sleep, wondering what sorts of stories were being lived behind closed doors, what sorts of stories I could have lived had I chosen another path. But I hadn’t made any choice. If anything, the path had chosen me. The fragility and brevity of life struck me once again, and I recalled another rule: Life is a temporary loan. As I spoke, I watched the dervish’s expression change from subtle scorn to open acknowledgement and from there into the soft smile of someone recognizing his own thoughts in the words of another. Fanatics of all persuasions were unbearable, but deep inside she thought that fanatics of Islam were the worst. In a world beset with mistranslations, there was no use in being resolute about any topic, because it might as well be that even our strongest convictions were caused by a simple misunderstanding. In general, one shouldn’t be too rigid about anything because “to live meant to constantly shift colors.” Time centered on this very moment, and anything other than now was an illusion. For the same reason, he believed that love had nothing to do with “plans for tomorrow” or “memories of yesterday.” Love could only be here and now. There are times I want to rebel against having been created a woman. It was as if she were waiting, confidently and patiently, for something momentous to happen. It was the laughter of a woman who had never learned not to pay too much attention to the judgments of others. It was as if her withdrawal into a calm, private space of her own stripped away the polite decorum behind which her marriage had slept undisturbed for many years. Now that the pretenses between them were gone, she could see their defects and mistakes in all their nakedness. She had stopped pretending. They they remained silent, acknowledging the blunt fact that they didn’t have much else to talk about. Not anymore. It was precisely this new aloofness that scared her husband. Ella could understand him, because deep inside it scared her, too. A month ago if David had taken even a tiny step to improve their marriage, she would have felt grateful. Any attempt on his part would have delighted her. Not anymore. Now she suspected that her life wasn’t real enough. How had she arrived at this point? A strange calm had descended upon Ella. She felt more stable than she’d ever been, even as she was swiftly gliding away from the life she’d known. Nothing had changed, and yet nothing was the same anymore. I keep telling myself that this is a temporary stage. Rumi used to be everything to me. Now he is a stranger. I never knew it was possible to live with someone under the same roof, sleep in the same bed, and still feel that he was not really there. But if you ask me, anyplace where there are more than two people is bound to become a battleground. Bountiful is your life, full and complete. Or so you think, until someone comes along and makes you realize what you have been missing all this time. Like a mirror that reflects what is absent rather than present, he shows you the void in your soul - the void you have resisted seeing. That person can be a lover, a friend, or a spiritual master. Sometimes it can be a child to look after. What matters is to find the soul that will complete yours. It’s as if for years on end you compile a personal dictionary. In it you give your definition of every concept that matters to you, such as truth, happiness, or beauty. At every major turning point in life, you refer to this dictionary, hardly ever feeling the need to questions its premises. Then one day a stranger comes and snatches your precious dictionary and throws it away. All your definitions need to be redefined, he says. It’s time for you to unlearn everything you know. And you, for some reason unbeknownst to your mind but obvious to your heart, instead of raising objections or getting cross with him, gladly comply. This is what Shams has done to me. Our friendship has taught me so much. But more than that, he has taught me to unlearn everything I knew. Is there a way to grasp what love means without becoming a lover first? Love cannot be explained. It can only be experienced. Love cannot be explained, yet it explains all. She questioned every detail in life, waging battles against society. You like distinctions because you think they make life easier. In this world take pity on three kinds of people. The rich man who has lost his fortune, the well-respected man who has lost his respectability, and the wise man who is surrounded by ignorants. As hurtful as it is, being slandered is ultimately good for one on the path. Destiny took me on a different route altogether, one of unexpected twists and turns, each of which changed me so profoundly and irrevocably that after a while the original destination lost its significance. Either way, I suddenly knew that I didn’t need to go anywhere. Not anymore. I was sick and tired of always longing to be somewhere else, somewhere beyond, always in a rush despite myself. I was already where I wanted to be. All I needed was to stay and look within. Through an illness, accident, loss, or fright, one way or another, we all are faced with incidents that teach us how to become less selfish and judgmental, and more compassionate and generous. Twenty years of marriage, twenty years of sleeping in the same bed, sharing the same shower, eating the same food, raising three kids... and what it all added up to was silence. She didn’t know what surprised her more: to hear that David knew about Rumi or that he cared about what she read. I don’t blame you, Ella. I deserve it. I neglected you, and you looked for compassion elsewhere. Thanks for your concern, young man, but sometimes nasty encounters are not only inevitable, they are necessary. A man with many opinions but no questions! There’s something so wrong with that. It must be a huge relief, and an easy way out, to think the devil is always outside of us. The message is that the torment a person can inflict upon himself is endless. Hell is inside us, and so is heaven. But having spent my whole life regretting the things I failed to do, I see no harm in doing something regrettable for a change. Not knowing what to say, I stared into her wounded eyes and wondered how she, young and fragile as she was, had found the courage to abandon the only life she knew. If we are the same person before and after we loved, that means we haven’t loved enough. Where there is love, there is bound to be heartache. Strange things happened to people when they were ready for the unusual and the unexpected. In that long moment, his eyes were the eyes of a man who had neither the strength nor the emotion left in him to stop his wife from going to another man. Mawlana is writing verses. They are beautiful. Sham’s absence is turning him into a poet. I don’t know about that, but it is true that I find silence painful these days. Words give me openings to break through the darkness in my heart. Wherever he saw any kind of mental boundary, a prejudice or a taboo, he took the bull by the horns and confronted it. Because of him I learned the value of madness and have come to know the taste of loneliness, helplessness, slander, seclusion, and finally, heartbreak. Abandon security and stay in frightful places! The poems do not belong to me. I am only a vehicle for the letters that are placed in my mouth. Traveling to a new place often engendered a dreadful sense of loneliness and sadness in the soul of a man. But in chess, just as in life, there were moves that you made for the sake of winning and there were moves you made because they were the right thing to do. I knew I had reached the age to marry, but I also knew that girls who got married changed forever. I slept peacefully that night, feeling exultant and determined. Little did I know that I was making the most common and the most painful mistake women have made all throughout the ages; to naively think that with their love they can change the men they love. There is no such thing as early or late in life. Everything happens at the right time. In every wedding celebration, there was a mourning for the virgin who was soon to become a wife and a mother. It made my blood boil that society imposed such ridiculous rules on its individuals. These codes of honor had less to do with the harmony God created than with the order human beings wanted to sustain. I felt a strong need to run away from everything, not only from this house, this marriage, this town, but also from this body I had been given. It pleased me immensely that he appreciated my thoughts and encouraged me to think more widely. The way to a man’s heart can sometimes take a woman far away from herself, my dear. You see, Ella, all I can give you is the present moment. That is all I have. But the truth is, no one has more than that. It is just that we like to pretend we do. It is never too late to ask yourself, Am I ready to change the life I am living? Am I ready to change within? After grief comes another season. Another valley. Another you. And though I know that there are no words that can express this inner journey of mine, I believe in words. I am a believer of words. Every winner is inclined to think he will be triumphant forever. Every loser tends to fear that he is going to be beaten forever. But both are wrong for the same reason: Everything changes except for the face of God. Little by little, one turns forty, fifty, and sixty and, with each major decade, feels more complete. You need to keep walking, though there’s no place to arrive at. With that knowledge we dervishes will dance our way through love and heartbreak even if no one understands what we are doing. And that is how Ella had come to understand that if there was anything worse in the eyes of society than a woman abandoning her husband for another man, it was a woman abandoning her future for the present moment.

#elif shafak #the forty rules of love #feminist book

[bloodmoonbitxh]

Post a picture of your character or describe what they look like in detail. Note any distinguishing facial features. Kiera has fair skin, bright blue eyes and soft pink lips, she is a walking enigma of soft features, sex appeal and brutal violence. 

Describe your character’s personality. Kiera is the type of woman who never wants to seem predictable, she uses the ability to appear mothering and sweet to lure people in with a false sense of safety, however as quick as she is to patch someone up or offer a hot meal she is also as quick to turn around an rip ones throat out with her teeth. It is a dog eat dog world out there and she refuses to let anyone catch her without her guard. She is as loving with her family as she can be hard on them, all in the name of love.

What is your character like in relationships? She will back her man 100% in public, no one will she her question him public instead showing a united front to all outside the relationship. However behind closed doors if she has a thought to share she will do so without pause, requiring a man who is strong enough to keep the family and pack safe.

Are they clingy? No but she is territorial 

Faithful or unfaithful? Faithful in her way

Do they jump from one relationship to the other? No

What kind of things does your character like? Wilderness, the hunt, screaming humans, motherhood

What do they dislike? Begging, humans, wolves who see humans as equals, disrespect

How does your character treat their friends and family? She is willing to fight and kill for those she loves but only if she knows they would do the same in return. Family and pack are important to her as the pack is strong and the lone wolf weak.

How about strangers? With careful hesitation, though if human she will flirt, charm and lure them out to the woods for the pack.

Enemies? Ripped to shreds 

What kind of people does your character surround themselves with? Why? The pack, they are a unit that keep each other safe. The pack is only as strong as their weakest links.

Where was your character born? Kiera doesn’t speak of that, the past is the past

Where have they lived since then? Everywhere and anywhere that Razor decide to move the pack

Where is the place that they call home? Anywhere Razor is

Where does your character go when they are angry? Into a bar to start a fight or throwing down with whomever is causing the anger.

What is your character’s biggest fear? To lose her family once more

Who have they told this to? None

Who would they never tell this to? Why? Anyone outside of her family, she doesn’t need to give anyone any ideas

Does your character have a secret? No

If so, what is it? N/A

What makes your character laugh out loud? When people judge her love for her husband, as if anyone can control the love in their hearts or understand how Razor makes her feel.

What makes them angry? When members of the pack are ungrateful of the protection that pack provides.

Has your character ever been in love? Yes

Have they ever had a broken heart? Yes

Does your character have any flaws? Yes, clearly

What are they? Her cruelty, ability to overlook the flaws of her husband and son, the hate in her heart for humans, willingness to take life. 

And the final question, which is more for us Admins than anything else and possible plots in the future, which would never be put in play unless with your permission:

Would you as a mun be okay with the death of this character in play at some point? Yes maybe

#risingpeaks.task001