#lovely things people say to me

[spindrifters]

the general vibe of, discourse around, and hype for marginalia somehow makes me think of the days of old when authors would publish their stories chapter by chapter in periodicals. like i think in another world someone with consumption held on because they really needed to know how marginalia ended.

basically you're that lady in bridgerton and the latest chapter is all anyone is talking about as they walk the promenade, but you have to keep your identity secret because otherwise the world would oscar wilde you

just ignore the jumbling of time periods here

I think this is single-handedly both the coolest and kindest thing anyone has ever said to me

(but plot twist: I'm the one dying of consumption)

#lovely things people say to me #marginalia blogging

[loop-deloo]

hophemius is so so good i agree and adopting the name!! so glad you liked it <3

ahhh the fic. the one. the big gay mum smut. i loved it. hophemius always.

#lovely meese #? #lovely things people say to me

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[huachengsromcom]

People call Heaven Official’s Blessing / TGCF a slow burn but Hua Cheng is literally courting Xie Lian like they are DATING. Slow burn who??? They’re sleeping next to each other on straw mats and Xie Lian’s offering to cook him dinner and they’re bantering across THE HOME THEY SHARE like a bunch of desperate hussys

San Lang LEAVES XL WITH A KEEPSAKE OF THEIR TIME TOGETHER SLOW BURN WHOMST

They have A DATE in HC’s armoury where they HOLD HANDS and XL pets San Lang’s quivering sword I-

Hua Cheng basically throws himself at this man he’s like you want a sword?? All of them ?? You want ALL THE SWORDS?? Fuck it take the whole room THE WHOLE ROOM JUST COME VISIT I WILL CLEAN THEM FOR YOU

Like he isn’t the king of a whole realm with shit to do

And this is just the first half of the first book—again I ask the world SLOW BURN WHOMST

#this is half in jest #but #I know some people don’t count it as “real until they kiss but THIS is honestly so gay of them #it’s in the subtext it’s in everything THAT ISNT a kiss #it’s so queer #Hua Cheng is ALL IN XL is just too innocent to Grasp It #XL is saying “come round to my tiny shack whenever sleep on my mat with me BEST FRIEND I will be your home” and HC is SUFFERING #the armoury scene is favourite of the entire thing #I was like my brother in Christ HAVE YOU NO SHAME #and knew immediately I would love him forever #tgcf #heaven official's blessing #mxtx tgcf #hua cheng #xie lian #hualian #she’s being unhinged again

[shesnake]

24 hour time loops: not long enough to create or undo anything permanent, crazy-making but often still funny

365 day time loops: the most fucked up shit you could possibly imagine

#the lazarus project #every time I go to rewatch tlp I get stuck on ep 3 because. yeah. but I am pushing through!!!! #much like Janet did one could say (sorry) #disabling reblog because you guys are just independently arriving at ideas for messed up pregnancy scenarios #which is is what this post was originally about - because this post was about the lazarus project and this very thing just not as outright #and it's great to see people get so creative coming up with this stuff independently but also it's just unoriginal and therefore annoying #to me as the person whose notes are being flooded. love and light ❤️

[lazycranberrydoodles]

everybody go home. this is my magnum opus

#HELP THIS IS KILLING ME #the original version of this had hua cheng in a ‘i have a CRAZY wife she hates STUPID PEOPLE and LOVES DOGS and im NOT AFRAID TO USE HER’ #but if hua cheng was at midwestern gas station number 472 in the novelty slogan tshirt aisle #she for sure would get some sort of ‘your wife (woman symbol) vs MY WIFE (wonder woman silhouette)’ #or ‘trophy 🏆🏆 WIFE’ #or possibly a ‘return to wife if lost’ #or ‘i have a SMOKIN HOT wife’ #or ‘im the BOSS til my WIFE gets home’ #or ‘5 things you should know about my WIFE: 1. she is my queen 2. she is a bit crazy 3. she can whoop your ass #4. she says whatever she is thinking 5. mess with her and theyll never find your body’ #or ‘i go to work so my wife can COLLECT SCRAPS’ #or even at worst. ‘ my wife is the PRINCESS the mouse LOST’ #xie lian would be initially embarassed. but you know her ass would be wearing a ‘proud PROPERTY of an AWESOME WIFE’ shirts @ heaven meetings #or ‘i’m not scared of ANYTHING - my WIFE is a CALAMITY’ #which was sold as a metaphor for your wife being mean and powerful. but she wears it straight. #or even ‘im not GAY but my WIFE is’ lmfao #anyway. #tgcf #tian guan ci fu #hualian #hua cheng #xie lian #hualesbians #modern au #tgcf meme #my art #art #tgcf shitpost #lmao #mxtx

[yuurionviktor]

Gonna finish Gideon one soon, but for now you can have this Harrow

#the locked tomb #harrowhark nonagesimus #harrow the ninth #harrow the 9th #gideon the ninth #things ive made #idk man the 1page1day not going great and it’s only been 1 week #one week where I only worked 3 days mind you #(local holidays) #maybe I really wasn’t made for creating art jdhsjdjcbcj I see so many cool people online #where they’ve been better than me 10 years ago so where does that math leave me hm #for a person who’s really into bones herself (preceding my love for harrow ironically) I REALLY don’t know them #I mean you can always say that’s A Stylistic Choice but I’m also so lazy #like… just trace them girl

[bixels]

Jesus man, relax.

#this was in response to me saying “lunar new year” on the rarity art #personal #delete later #what in insane nonproblem to get this angry about #i asked my parents (taiwanese immigrants) about this and they said we use either but prefer lunar new year #because it's inclusive to koreans and vietnamese people who celebrate on the same day #lunar new year is an umbrella term same as “happy holidays.” this person is basically getting mad i said happy holidays instead of #merry christmas. #my family and i identify more as taiwanese than chinese so. we're not gonna say chinese new year much anyways #i sent this to my mom btw and she replied with basically “die mad i guess.” love you ma #this literally doesn't matter anyways i could have said “chinese new year” to caption that post and it wouldn't have mattered #the only reason i didn't is because i plan on drawing another art including carol (coco pommel) who's korean and celebrates the same day #like. most people in china/taiwan don't care they just say “happy new year” cuz it's the fuckin new year. someone saying lunar new year is #not erasure it's not flattening asian identities into a monolith. it's just an umbrella term. #anyways happy lunar new year happy chinese new year happy tet happy spring festival happy seollal #like i cannot stress enough to you guys that these holidays are on the exact same day and celebrate basically the same exact thing. #this is not an issue.

[tawaifeddiediaz]

i don’t know if i know how to word this properly but basically i just really like that buck’s realization shows older people who might be questioning their sexuality that it’s okay to not know in your thirties or older, but i also really like that it shows younger people that you don’t have to know right here and now and there’s no age you have to know by. i like how it emphasises the fluidity of sexuality in the form of a macho firefighter who hasn’t considered men in any conscious (or even subconscious) light, and i think that’s a very important point to put across

there’s something to be said about finding out that you’re queer in your thirties and i love that 911 is showing us that through buck, and showing us that maybe you might always know through hen, and showing us that maybe you’ve repressed it for a good chunk of your life through michael but there’s also something to be said for the younger viewers who are struggling to label themselves - to know that it’s okay to not know just yet and still be valid, and be a member of the queer community. and there’s also something to be said about seeing a thirty year old man slip into his realization all happy and safe with another firefighter who tried to hide that part of him, and basically i love my lil gay firefighter show

#zee rambles #i love how 911 emphasises the happy queer stories and doesn’t make a joke or a mockery of things #and this is why i think eddie’s queer arc is going to be so important too because he’s gonna have internalised shit to work through #something that’ll resonate with so so many people #911 abc #evan buckley #tommy kinard #hen wilson #michael grant #i really do not know how to say any of this can someone more articulate than me say it

[crippledasinfuckyou]

sometimes a healthy relationship isn't 50/50 because it can't be, and that's okay.

disabled people who cannot take on an equal portion of the work in a relationship deserve to be loved too, if that's what they want. and as long as their partner is getting the support they need, and is happy to take on that work, then what's the issue? it's nobodys business but your own the way that works in your relationship.

if you or your partner are disabled, and you can't split the work in the relationship 50/50, that's okay. you're not abusive, or a baby, or unloveable because of that. I promise

#inspired by: yet another post saying with absolutely no nuance that if ur partner doesn't do 50% of the work in the relationship u should #leave them. which fucks me off supremely #my husband has hemiplegia among other things #and literally CANNOT do about 85% of the stuff that needs to get done #and that's okay! because I am happy to take that on! #equality in relationships doesn't have to mean splitting things 50/50 #it can mean having an honest conversation about your needs and abilities and making it work #disabled people deserve love if they want it #disability #actually disabled

[sp0o0kylights]

I saw a video today that said, “It’s very uncomfortable as an adult when your friend starts to date somebody who sucks, and you’re all looking at each other going ‘Guys, if this is the person who makes them happy…I think collectively as a unit we can agree that we would rather see them sad. So what's the plan?’” 

And immediately went: modern Steddie AU were Steve dates his high school friend Tommy and everyone is tearing their hair out over how awful he’s being treated. 

Ft. the Party, led by Dustin, hounding Eddie “I could get a man in a SECOND, I just CHOOSE not to date” Munson for help

However:

Eddie is mostly thinking the entire thing is a joke (King Steve and Tommy Hagan? Gay? Together?? Nice try Henderson.) until he runs into Robin. She laments that yeah, they’re bi, but more importantly, Tommy is fucking awful and Steve refuses to see it. 

2. Eddie, maybe, kind of, still has a crush on Steve ("Stop laughing Gareth, everyone has--had! Had a crush on him!") and the guy was never THAT bad in high school---but Tommy Hagan definitely was and a little revenge would be fun.

and finally;

3. Instead of going with the kids' well intentioned but very misguided “Let’s get Eddie to Steal Steve” plan, Eddie meets up with the Robin/Nancy/Jonathan/Argyle/Chrissy dream team to figure out how to prove to Steve that Tommy is horrible. 

Bonus: Robin and Nancy come up with a full proof multi step plan that involves Eddie pissing off Tommy in ways that look completely innocent. The hope is that Steve will see how controlling and unreasonable Tommy is, and break it off.

This hurts no one and just highlights to Steve Tommy's behavior.

Of course, Eddie goes off the rails immediately upon meeting Steve.

Instead of following The Plan, he, with the kids permission and help, gets Tommy to get blow up about THEM.

This is far more successful.

Bonus x2: A large amount of shenanigan's with the kids vs Tommy are involved. As is a scene were Steve breaks down and admits he knows Tommy is terrible, but Tommy puts up with him and Steve "knows how he is."

Eddie goes home, prints out a picture of Tommy and throws cheap ren fair daggers at it for at least three solid hours while he tries to think up ways to prove to Steve Harrington that his parents are wrong, hes very lovable actually.

In fact Eddie would very much like a shot at trying it out, thanks!

(It is also, inevitably, successful.)

#steddie #modern meet cute #SOMEONE TAKE IT FROM ME I CANT HAVE ANOTHER WIP #also I personally am very picky about fake dating tropes or “stealing” tropes #cause you cant steal a person #but also #the trope is naturally exploitative and thats hard to do right #not to say I havent seen people do it WELL cause I have #just that its a hard one for me personally #anyway #Eddie munson #steve harrington #tommy hagan #stranger things #Eddie is a gremlin whose been on all of two dates and had three hookups but hes never telling the children that #angsty #so desperate for love Ill take any scraps I can get Steve Harrington #is a personal favorite of mine #and not in that whiny way #I mean in a realistic way #homeboy out here knowing that half of what he says is stupid but he believes it anyway and has a lot of issues from his parents #so you have to DRAG this shit out of him #or if youre Robin you dont HAVE too but Steves excellent at dodging #excuse making #and generally making everyone think hes making sane decisions #he is not #eddie clocks this instantly lol

[spindrifters]

Marginalia is my Roman Empire, Just so you know

#lovely things people say to me

[inkskinned]

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME #there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing #and the writing is what i need to be doing #writeblr #this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to #edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol #i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!! #my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means #i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her) #hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong #i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet. #i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse #i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!! #i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO #i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness #and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it #im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us #i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer #and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art. #i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work #even if it means being miserable #but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.

[bittersweetyrn]

big fan of essek thelyss, not the fanon interpretation, which is either "smol bean, tiny fragile elf who's a sweetheart and basically a child" or people mistakenly calling betrayal of one's home country a "war crime" and then proceeding to be flippant about it anyway, but the real Essek

pretentious motherfucker that committed treason bc he though he was smarter than everyone else

learned to float literally just to impress other rich people

canonically neutral evil

basically head spymaster of his country and master of lies but sucks shit lying to his friends

stayed bitchy even after his redemption arc

"there is nothing I would love more than to not be around you all for the remainder of this day"

a space wizard that crushed someone with telekenesis just to show off (the person was already dying)

sexy feet, nice ass, overall hottie

fell in love with a traumatized wizard of his enemy country and it was mutual despite all the betrayal

faggot

gave away state secrets to enemy wizard bc he though he was sexy

discovered time travel with his boyfriend

proceeded to say they shouldn't use time travel (bc now he's a good boy) but was willing to sacrifice everything and help if his bf wanted to use it

once confessed he had such a bad fight with his dad that his dad ran into the demon caves and never returned (essek doesn't feel bad about this at all)

young for an elf but still 120 years old, he called his bf "young man" and flexed on him about how much more evil he is

#anytime I imagine him stealing the beacons its set to the music from Sinbad where eris steals the book of peace #the way people say “he's basically a teenager!” to excuse his actual evil acts #characters are evil and its cool #very much “my guy didn't do that! he did a bunch of other shit tho” #he is all these cool things yet unfortunately the dice were never on his side 😔 #I only have the most correct opinions on essek #I literally don't even critrole anymore but he is my bitch ass wife #critical role #essek thelyss #essik theylas #ask me abt my fic series “I sensed we loved each other without knowing”

[ewwww-what]

an archdevil and a presidential candidate sneak into a gay bar

flatcolor + closeups below :)

#they love each other so much you guys don’t understand #they’ve lived together for years. they have seen each other at their worst. #THEY HAVE CHOSEN EACH OTHEROVER EVERYTHING SO MANY TIMES #ITS ALL ABOUT FRIENDSHIP #ITS ALL ABOUT THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE #ITS ALL ABOUT TAKING CARE OF EACH OTHER #my brother just brought me fettuccine alfredo #which is an important addon to this post #(it’s all about taking care of each other) #BY THE WAY #I understand the ‘they are sisters’ response to lots of my bad girls posts but I need to make it so clear that it’s more than that #not to be that guy because I do get it but I’m in a constant state of twisting myself around my art to avoid some things #and something I get a bunch is people seeing things as either ‘they’re siblings’ or ‘they’re dating’ when neither was my intention #because what I’m trying to get across here isn’t romantic and it’s not really sisterly either. love is such a wide range beyond that #+ and I want those types of love to also be understood within my art y’know #all that to say that it’s not that deep and they love each other very very much any way you slice it #d20 #d20 fantasy high #dimension 20 #d20 fanart #fantasy high #fhjy #kristen applebees #fig faeth #fig fantasy high #kristen fantasy high #kristen chilis applebees #fantasy high fanart #undescribed #my art

[beaulesbian]

After my son left it behind, Derek towed it in, thinking it was probably beyond repair. But then he opened up the hood and he pulled off all the duck tape Stiles had stuck on it. And he managed to fix it. That Jeep, no matter what’s been done to it, it just keeps running. He could never figure out why it wouldn’t break down and stay down.

And I don’t think he ever realized that that’s exactly the way we saw him. I have never seen anyone take that kind of punishment that Derek Hale took, and kept taking, in order to protect the people he loved.

#something something this whole speech in the movie about derek protecting the peopl e he loved #and in the show many times it was stiles who had his back and actually worked with him and they protected each other #this metaphor for the jeep as their trust and love for each other and a thing that will be there for stiles when he comes back #so derek is working on the jeep and if eli steals it from time to time because it drives (hehe) derek mad but hes mostly amused #at the connection there well whos to say if it isnt love right? right #teen wolf #sterek #this is mostly just me giffing my favorite scene of theirs because i never made gifs for them #derek hale #stiles stilinski #eli hale #eli hale stilinski #sheriff stilinski #mine #gif:sterek #sterekedit #eternalsterek #twedit #teenwolfedit