#mamtwritingchallenge

[justreadingfics]

Too Long (Part 2/2)

Pairing: Steve Rogers X Reader

Summary: Steve admits his true feelings for you. Is it too late?

Word Count: 3.8k+

Warnings: angst, floof.

A/N: I had to write a part 2. I was gonna queue it for tomorrow, but you know...anxiety. Thanks for backing me up @lesqui. Thanks @marvelatmytrash   for hosting the challenge and giving me the opportunity to write for my Stevie! 

Please, let me know what you think.

Part 1 Part 2/ Epilogue

Masterlist

  The touch is faint. He can barely feel the tickle from the brush of your digit tracing the lines of his face, but he knows it’s there, warming up his heart and calming down his mind. He doesn’t want to open his eyes just yet; he knows it will make you feel self-conscious and consequently, it will make you stop. He doesn’t want you to stop.

But damn his betraying lips, reflexively curling up in a small smile at the delightful touch.

“Sorry,” you hiss and retract your finger, to his very dismay.

Steve groans, opening his eyes slowly to see you resting face to face with him. The sunlight peeking through the curtains is illuminating your shape, spotlighting every corner of your beautiful features.

“Good morning, doll,” he says with a husky sleepy voice.  

“Argh, Steve,” you grumble, covering your eyes with your hand, “no pet names, this is rule number four.” You gesture to the air while he holds back a laugh by worrying his lower lip between his teeth.

“Well, I think I’ve earned the right to break one, since apparently you’ve just broken rule number one.” He waves his hand between you two to prove his point.

“I know, no sleepovers.” You admit, casting your eyes down, “But you’re the one to blame.” You poke him on the chest and he grabs your finger, shaking it playfully while you ignore his quirked brow. “Yeah, yeah…Try having mind blowing sex with a Super Soldier to see if you’ll have the energy to change beds afterwards.”

He gasps in mocked outrage and you squeak in surprise when he pushes your hand, rolling you on your back and positioning himself on top of you. Straddling your waist, he mercilessly starts tickling you.

You squirm, scream and laugh beneath him, messing up his sheets while you try to fight back his attack to no avail. “Stop, stop, please,” you breathlessly beg between giggles and he finally submits to your pleas.

He has you pinned down on his mattress, securing your wrists above your head. While the air seems scarce with both of you panting, he finds himself diving into your gazing eyes and the atmosphere changes completely.

“Mind blowing, huh,” Steve coos, rolling his hips against yours, making you moan. He leans down to kiss you, but stops when you speak, never tearing your eyes from his.

“Steve, I’m scared.” Your voice is small and it makes his heart weak.  

“Why?” He frowns, letting go of your wrists to cup your cheeks.  

You imitate him, caressing his clean shaved jaw, “You know why.”  

An icy wave of fear washes over his stomach. He does know why. “No, please…” He recognizes the desperation in his voice. He’s been there before.

“This isn’t real.” You slide your thumb over his cheek as he takes in a shuddering breath. “You’ve waited too long, haven’t you? This is just a memory.”

He shakes his head and wipes away a tear from the corner of your eyes, not avoiding his own to fall down.

“You and I are just a dream, a distant memory. It’ll fade away. I’m fading away, Steve.”

“No, please don’t go, I’m sorr-” He chokes on his own words as a light fog starts to cover your saddened features, the blissful happiness from moments ago gone while you slowly evaporate from his sight.

“NO.” Steve sits bolt upright while the desperate scream resonates around wherever he is. Gripping on the sheets, he scans his surroundings, recognizing his room. As he closes his eyes again, he tries to regulate his breathing to a steady pace.

Another one. He doesn’t even know if he can call them nightmares, these dreams he’s been having night after night. After all, it’s only then he has the chance to see you again, feel you, and have you on his arms. The mind is a tricky thing. He swears he can taste you while he runs his tongue over his drying lips. And his face still feels ticklish from your touch. His heart feels full, complete; like it used to be at the time he has been dreaming of. When he could have you, hold you, kiss you, see you…

He hasn’t seen you since the day you officially promised forever to another man. He watched you from afar at the ceremony. There was an overwhelming sadness clouding his feelings, but he smiled, seeing how beautiful and happy you looked. Your smile only faltered for a split second when you scanned the standing guests right after you said “I do”. He likes to think you were searching for him. But he had promised himself he would let you live your own choice and he didn’t want to taint another important moment for you, so he kept himself in the shadows.

It’s been eight months and not a day he didn’t spend thinking of you or a night dreaming of you. He can only hope you’re happy. Scratch that. He knows you’re happy. Bucky has a subtle and caring way to keep him updated. Only his brother in life could be aware he would rather know about you, even if the news would punch him in the guts than not knowing at all; he can’t handle losing his track on you; he needs this to breathe.

He knew when you changed jobs to one you really loved. You always wanted to drop your life as an agent to deal with flowers. Human beings weren’t as pretty, you used to say. He knew when you opened your flower shop and he knew when you and your husband moved to a house at the suburb. He can only imagine you living in a big house; you always loved your tiny apartment, because it was easier to clean…

He knew you never mentioned his name again… and the last news he’s got was one of those to put a knife to his chest. You were trying for a baby.      

Steve harshly runs his hand over his face to shake these memories and thoughts off before reaching for his cellphone on the nightstand. 6.05am. At this time he would be up for his customary morning run, but the loud thunder outside signaling the storm   sets his mind on getting up to steel himself for yet another mission, instead. They’ve become his only focus, his Captain America persona taking over Steve Rogers easily with you away.

Taking in a bracing sigh, he jumps out of his bed and starts another day without you.

A little less than an hour later he’s already buckling up his suit when the doorbell to his apartment rings. Since FRIDAY didn’t warn him of any visitors, he assumes it’s Bucky who, for the first time ever, would be ready earlier than him for a mission.  

“Wait up,” he shouts, searching for his boots and helmet, but the doorbell keeps ringing insistently. “Impatient prick,” he huffs, strutting to the door. “Hey, jerk-” He stops on his toes and his eyes widen at your sight.

He barely registers the surprise and the mix of overwhelming feelings to be finally seeing you again before they’re hijacked by concern and fear when he takes in your state. You’re soaked from head to toe, covered in a coat just as drenched, your red rimmed eyes can’t suppress the tears slipping down and your lips tremble along with your whole body, while you wrap your arms around yourself.

Pure instinct controls his actions as he gently pulls you inside by an arm around your shoulders, closing the door behind you. Once inside, he can’t help but envelope you between his arms, hoping his body heat would dissipate the cold for that moment. To his surprise, you don’t fight his hold, burying your face on his chest, having your arms stiffed down, sobbing against his uniform.

“Are you hurt?” He leans back to watch your face and examine your body, a mix of apprehension, softness, and anger for whatever left you in this state pinching his voice.

Swallowing a sob, you shake your head quickly, looking up at him, “I-I…” you stutter with shuddering lips, your eyes dancing unfocusedly.

“Shhh, it’s ok sweetheart, let’s get you cleaned and warm first, we can talk later,” Steve soothes you, running his hands up and down your back before leading them to the tie of the belt keeping your coat closed, “Can I?” he hesitantly asks.

You respond with a slight nod, your eyes finding focus on his blue ones.  They remain absorbed in him while he hooks his fingers beneath the collar of your coat and pulls it off of you, letting the heavy drenched fabric form a pool on the floor behind you.

He frowns when he sees you only in a shorts and tank pajama set. He looks down to your feet, noticing it covered only by flip flops. Your gaze never ceases to follow him when he gently guides you to his room, then to his bathroom. He grabs a clean towel from one of the cabinets to envelope you in it, rubbing your sides to help him on his urgent mission to warm you up.

He walks to the bathtub and quickly turns on the taps. He has no idea why you are there, but if it was comfort and love you were in need of, there’s no other place for you to be. As the water fills the bathtub up he walks back to you, who hasn’t moved an inch from the spot he left you. Your stare, however, kept chasing his every move. He longs to read what’s on your mind through your unyielding eyes, but it can wait.

You’re still shaking, looking up at his standing figure in front of you. Surprisingly enough, his nerves don’t get to him when he speaks again. “A hot bath will do you good.” You nod silently at him, “I’ll wait outside.”

He tightens his lips and moves to leave, but you grab on his arm, stopping him to step any farther from you. “Please,” You finally say, “Stay with me?” The lack of confidence of the request  permeates your words.

He gulps, trying to control his own overwhelming emotions at your plea and your small, almost inaudible voice. There’s nothing he wants more than not to leave your side, ever again, “Of course,” he answers.

Your chest heaves, like you are filling it up with much needed air, but you seem lost to what to do next, arms falling limply to your sides, a silent beg lingers in your gaze. A beg for him to assume the control and take care of you.

He doesn’t even flinch before complying, taking your hand and guiding you to the side of the bathtub. After turning off the water, satisfied with the amount, he positions himself behind your back and, carefully, yet confidently, he tugs at the hem of your pajama tank. When you raise your arms, he slowly pulls the dripping fabric up. Tossing it to the side, he can’t help to take in a long sigh when he sees your bare back. You still sleep without a bra, and it would be goddamn distracting if he wasn’t so worried and in a hurry to warm you up and make you feel at least a bit better.

Tiny rising hairs tickle his fingers when they smoothly glide down your body before he hooks said fingers beneath the waistband of your shorts, pulling them down for you to step out of them, along of your flip flops.  Your whole body shakes in a light tremble and he’s not sure it’s just due the cold anymore, but he takes your hand urging you to get into the warm water, seeing no reason why you shouldn’t keep the last piece of your underwear.

~~~  

In a silent, perfectly synchronized dance, you let him guide your numb self as you step into the bathtub, relishing at the relaxing feeling you get from the warm water coating your body. He positions himself kneeling behind the large bathtub and you can’t help but close your eyes and dive into the comfort of his gentle, yet firm hands applying his shampoo over your hair. The act is familiar as it has been done a thousand times in the past, but in much different situations, the sensual connotation from before far distant from what it means now, an act of pure affection and devotion.  

The smell is intoxicating, full of memories which take over your mind and gradually banishes the anguish in your aching heart from just a few moments ago as he unhurriedly massages your scalp. As his hands are still gentle when they bring the comfortably hot water to rinse out the shampoo, careful to not spill anything in your eyes, the reason why your feet have unconsciously dragged you to him after the eventful morning becomes clear. There is no other place you should be. The sense of belonging would be overwhelming if it didn’t feel so right and weren’t so damn craved.

You’re not sure how much time has passed or how it exactly happens, but next thing you know he’s tucking you under his blankets, and you wearing your favorite t-shirt of his. You almost let a smile bloom against your face at the assumption he has kept it after so long for this very reason.

The stupid little thought is interrupted when he finally breaks the silence, “I’ll let you rest a little.”

No.

For the second time that morning, you stop him from leaving you by your hand on his arm, “Will you lie down with me?” You don’t give a damn of how pathetic it might sound.

He stares at you for a silent moment before he blinks and nods, “Of course, anything you want, sweetheart.”

Your heart jumps at the pet name you had rejected that night months ago, while he does what you say and climbs on the bed, resting his back on the headboard, keeping himself above the blankets. You understand the respectful distance he’s been trying to keep, after all, you’re the one who has demanded such behavior from him. But this isn’t what you want that morning. All you want is to place your head over his lap instead of using the fluffy pillow he’s given you, and no restrains hold you back from doing so, wrapping your arm around his waist, resting your cheek on his thigh. The tenseness in his body is short-lived, before his hand dips into your damp hair, stroking your locks in a lulling rhythm. The caring touch and the comfort of his presence, added to the relaxing bath you’ve just had are enough to make you doze off in seconds.

You’re the first one to wake up, finding both of you in a completely changed position. Instead of the headboard like before, his head is resting on his pillow, facing you, as his arm lies around your waist, holding you close to him as he sleeps beside you.

The urge is overpowering and your finger has a mind of its own as it reaches out and lightly traces the beautiful lines of his face, like you’ve secretly done a million times before. Or at least you thought it was secretly, for like those other million times before, the slight curl on his lips gives away his awakened state.

“Sorry,” you blurt out, feeling the heat rushing up your cheeks as you retract your fingers.

“Am I dreaming?” The light smile still decorates Steve’s lips as he opens his eyes.

“What?” Your brows furrow as you chuckle at his question.

“Are you ok?” He answers with a question of his own, his expression becoming serious.

When you just shrug as a response, he leads the arm which has been resting around your waist to your face, using his fingers to brush a strand of hair partly covering your eyes behind your ear, the small gesture evoking a swirl of feelings from the depths of you. Feelings you thought forgotten. Too soon his touch leaves your face and he lays his hand right next to your own on the bit of mattress separating you from each other. “Where’s Tom?” He clears his throat and your gaze instantly falls away from his.

At your lack of response, he insists, his tone restrained, even if the sheets bunches up under his grip. “Did he hurt you?”

You’re quick in shaking your head no and you’re about to respond when something catches your attention as your eyes lay on him again.

“Do you have a mission to go to?” You raise your frowned stare from his uniform to his eyes, already moving to get up from his bed.

“Hey,” he holds your hand, “Don’t worry about it. I’ve texted Bucky, he’s got it covered. I’m staying here with you.”

Your eyes widen at the information. You don’t remember one single mission Steve had skipped in the time you worked with him. Speaking of that, you can’t ignore the thudding heart in your chest also skipping a beat and forcing you to take a deep breath in. Letting your hand being enveloped by his between you two, you gather the strength to speak and give him an explanation. “Tom and I, we’ve been trying for a baby,” you look up at him and he nods with a small smile, letting you know this aren’t any news for him.

“Um, and I took a test this morning,” you mutter, focusing your attention on your linked hands instead of his eyes, or else you wouldn’t be able to continue, “It was negative… again.”

He squeezes your hand and slides himself closer to you, giving a kiss to the back of your fingers. “It’s ok, sweetheart. I’m sure it will happen-”

“Tom wasn’t happy about the result,” you interrupt him “He got angry and said it was my fault it wasn’t happening, because I didn’t really want the baby and my body only responded to it.” You look up at Steve to see his face reddening.

“What? Son of a...” He closes his eyes and takes one or two calming breaths before looking at you again. You feel yourself melting by the kindness in his eyes, “This isn’t your fault, sweetheart, I’ll-”

“He’s not wrong, Steve.” You cut him, once again, and he frowns questioningly at you, “I mean, I know it isn’t my fault, of course it isn’t,” you scoff, shaking your head. You bite your lip, like the action would be able to contain your nervousness to continue and clarify why you ended up in his apartment, “But I… I felt relieved.” You finally say it, “Just like all the other times I took the test and it was negative, I was thankful. And when he asked for a divorce this morning, I felt relieved, too.”

Your breathing is unsteady and you’re speaking fast. You’re sure your stomach will combust at any moment, but you have to let it out. And as Steve looks dumbfounded, apparently noticing for the first time the lack of a ring on your left hand entangled in his, you resume the ramble slipping out your lips, “I felt relieved, because I do want a baby…at least I think I do… and I do wanna spend my life with someone, but not with him…not with him.” You shake your head, not helping the tears sliding over your face.  

“Y/N…” he whispers as his watering eyes snaps to yours.

“Did you mean all of that?” your voice is shaky and low.

You don’t have to specify what you are talking about for him to respond, “Every word, my love. I love you. There’s no one else more important than you in my life.” He tries to keep his voice steady and stares deeply into your eyes for your reassurance, as he drags your hand to his chest where you can feel his hammering heart.

A small smile threatens to twist up your lips, before they form a frown and you sound unsure, “But, before…”

“I was the stupidest man alive before.” He’s fast to respond, “I’ll never forgive myself and I don’t expect any differently from you. But I’m sure of what I’m feeling now. I love you. You’re my number one priority. Please, let me prove myself to you,” he begs and the sincerity in his words is enough to melt you inside.

“I love you, too.” His whole face light up and it’s the most beautiful sight you’ve ever seen, “You’re the love of my life, I don’t want to fight it any longer. I’m so tired of fighting against what I’m feeling…” You fill up your lungs before you lose your breath completely and his hold on your hand grows tighter.  “But I’m scared, Steve,” you admit, “Aren’t you scared, too?”

“Not anymore,” he says resolutely, wearing the devastatingly gorgeous wide grin you love so much.

“Why?” you whisper.

“Because you’re here and you’re real. I’m real, too, baby. I’m yours, I’m not going anywhere.” He repeats his words from that night when he first confessed his love for you, a night that feels so distant and so close at the same time. A night you were never able to kick out of your mind, nor your heart, despite all the effort you’ve put on trying.

You contemplate the expression of pure love and devotion highlighting his face, letting it fill up your chest with hope, before your eyes drop to his uniform. Your gaze lingers there for a second and all the doubts tormenting your heart come to an end, at last.  “You’re really here with me, aren’t you?” You clutch the blue fabric covering his chest.

“I am, my love. Always. And I don’t think this old man can wait another minute longer without kissing you.”

You smile a watery smile to each other before you lock your lips with his. He pours on the kiss all the love he’s been waiting too long to give you and you receive it welcomingly, feeling it running down your veins, your very being.

His hand is on your back pulling tight against him when breaks the kiss, but doesn't go far, resting his forehead against yours, “I thought you were happy,” he mutters, “I should've fought for you.” Deep regret laces his words.  

“Shhh,” you run a hand through the locks on the back of his head, “I thought I was happy, too. Until I wasn't.” You tighten your lips against each other, “But it doesn’t matter anymore. We're here, now.” You love that his smile is back on his face. Not willing to waste any more kisses, you bring your lips to his one more time.  

You’re finally complete. You’re finally in peace. Despite all you’ve been through, despite all the time which at a first glance seemed wasted and lost, you feel like your whole life has been made of pieces of a puzzle which has led you to this very moment, to this very kiss.

It doesn’t feel like it’s been too long, anymore. And you wouldn’t change a damn thing.

~~~~~~~~

The End

Epilogue

A/N 2: I hope you guys liked it and I may or may not be plotting a smutty epilogue. Edit: It was written. Link above. 

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#steve x reader #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers angst #reader insert #too long #too long part 2 #marvel fanfiction #mamtwritingchallenge

[imhereforbvcky]

Three Little Breaths - Chapter 1

Masterlist  -  Part 1  Part 2  -  Part 3  -  Part 4

Summary: I’m not gonna sugar coat this… Bucky tries to move forward after losing you. Will all of your memories together haunt him or help him? Prompt: “Breathe... Just keep breathing.”

Warnings: angst (reference to character death), probably swearing, coffee theft

Word Count: 2252

Author’s Note: Italics are flashback/memories. Long version - oh you guys. I’m sorry. I… this is a mess of hurt. I’m sorry. IW clobbered me and I had a lot of feelings and nowhere to put them. So I shoved them all into @marvelatmytrash’s 3k follower writing celebration! Yay? Congrats anyway my friend!

word for word there’s probably more fluff than angst, but... if you get invested you’ll have to endure the ouch.

It is an inevitable fact of living that one will occasionally find oneself truly breathless. Sometimes for shock, other times for bewildering joy. At times the air is knocked from your lungs in undignified horror or insurmountable grief.

Then there are times when everything clicks into place; when it's so clear that every second of your life propelled you to one exact moment and you know exactly what you are meant to do in it. Those are the moments when everything falls away and the only thing you hear is the steady rhythm of your own breath.

In his unnaturally long life, Bucky Barnes has had three such moments and they all lead him to you. Three little breaths.

---

Sitting in the dim light of the morning, Bucky Barnes is finding it harder and harder to breathe. The higher the sun climbs in the sky, the closer he is to having to face the day, and the harder the memories burst across his brain. The grief crashes against his chest with ever growing heaviness; like a vice squeezing until his bones crack and his lungs cave.

Every searching, piercing ray of light that breaks through his half open blinds shatters the last foolish hope that he’s still dreaming. He knows it’s foolish; that he’s deluding himself. But even a distorted reality seems better than the truth.

His fingers dig into the edge of the mattress, feet firmly planted on the ground as he raises tired eyes to meet the day. Another day without you.

The bitter fact is; it doesn’t look like a day without you. All your belongings are still exactly where you left them, looking so ordinary, so well-used, and so painfully ready for you. The phone charger waits on the nightstand beside your weathered copy of Madame Bovary. Its creased spine shows its use and the smooth red ribbon still holds your place, waiting for you to pick it up again.

His fingers run over the soft plush of the extra throw blanket strewn across your side of the bed. The dark fabric still lay curved and wrinkled in a soft ‘s’ shape, as if you’d just slipped from beneath it.

Bucky likes it cold when he sleeps. It’s been his preference since the war. Cryofreeze was the only safety he ever had from the monsters within and without; and even now, the cool night air is a silent comfort against his heated skin. But it meant you always slithered beneath extra blankets beside him.

The soft knock on the door can only be one person, now. Bucky considers ignoring it but knows better. He walks downstairs past the table still littered with your paperwork, an empty wine glass still stained with the shape of your lips.

“Stopped at Santiago’s. Ya hungry?” Steve bargains with one foot through the door. The sharp smell of green chili and breakfast sausage seeps from the bag he’s holding aloft.

Bucky doesn’t answer, but turns back inside, leaving Steve to close the door behind him. Progress.

They stand around the counter eating in silence. Bucky because he still hasn’t found anything to say to anyone; Steve because he knows Bucky won’t like what he’s come to say.

“Buck, I think you should move back to the compound.”

Sharp grey eyes dart up to meet Steve’s soft pleading stare.

“I’m worried about you. I know you’re grieving, but hiding away here with all this stuff… her stuff…”

“Our stuff!” Bucky gasps. His voice feels worse than it sounds. The angry scratch of it against his throat rips past his lips as an indignant sob. “It’s all that’s left of our life. What if I forget her?” He picks up one of the coffee mugs you’d once squabbled over at a gift shop. His thumb sweeps over the vibrant decal. You had insisted it was tacky and he just liked to see the vigor in your eyes so he’d argued that it was quaint.

“You won’t, Bucky.” Steve places a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “This stuff will never be her. Nothing and no one can take the time you had.” He takes a quick breath, knowing the next words will hit like a sledgehammer. “But you have to move forward with your life. We want to be there for you, but we can’t if you’re hiding in here. I know it’s hard but…”

“You have no idea what this is like!” Bucky grumbles, swinging his arm to shrug out of Steve’s grasp. The coffee mug crashes to the floor and shatters on the cool stone tiles. Bucky hadn’t truly meant the harsh words or his clumsy angry movements, but it’s so easy to let the worst of you bubble to the surface when you’re in pain. Steve understands this because he knows loss. Deeply and intimately.

Bucky drops to his knees, scooping up the pieces with wide watery eyes and he mutters, “No, no, no,” again and again. He slumps down with his back against the cupboards, holding the shards of a shattered memory.

“Bucky... I am so sorry.” Steve carefully kneels down in front of his friend.

Bucky closes his eyes tight against the sting of the hot tears rising from some well in him that never seems to dry. The tighter he pinches them closed, the more he can block out the light of this day without you; this world that now has one less piece of you in it.

He knows that every day is supposed to get easier, but right now he’s afraid that will just mean forgetting. So he closes his eyes and his fist, imprinting the edges of the broken mug into the skin of his palm.

He tries to remember the warm bright smell of your skin when he kissed your shoulder while you made coffee in the morning. He wants to hold onto the soft give of your waist beneath his hands as they wrapped around you to hug your back tight to his chest. The hum of your contentment is almost there again vibrating against his skin and thrumming in his ears as he sits here in the same kitchen, with the same coffee pot, and the same mug.

There were so many mornings like this, he knows. But he just can’t remember them all. They’ve begun to blur together or disappear. He’d taken advantage of time and now lived only to regret it. But he remembers the first and now he seeks to seal it in his memory with the smell of coffee and the tickle of your hair on his cheek and the sound of your laugh. He loses himself to the memory.

“She’s cute,” Sam elbowed Bucky’s ribs as he glanced over his shoulder at the girl behind them in line. “Why don’t you ask her out?”

Bucky snorted and rolled his eyes as he took his change from the barista. “Because the guy who knew how to talk to women disappeared down a ravine seventy years ago.”

Bucky knew you were cute. It was a fact that plagued him every time he made the team’s coffee run. He’d seen you here at the same time a couple of days a week. But on the weekends sometimes you would be here for hours. After procuring coffee and a pastry you’d usurp two tables and sprawl out. Papers would lay scattered across every surface, a laptop perched on a precarious edge, red pen flitting across the seemingly endless sea of pages.

How many times had he shifted on the balls of his feet, searching for anything to say to you every time you smiled at him while you waited for your order? Or picked up discarded newspapers and spent hours longer than planned sitting at the table next to you at the little coffee shop, hoping an opportunity would fall in his lap?

But that’s the thing about opportunities; they take more effort than anyone is willing to admit.

“Well I don’t know that guy,” Sam encouraged. “And I wasn’t too keen on whatever version of you tried to kill me on a freeway. And then again on a helicarrier. And at the Joint Terrorism Center…”

“Is this supposed to make me feel better?”

“But this guy who buys his friends coffee 's not so bad.”

Bucky sighed sharply; a short huff of air from his nose.

“If you’d get this hair cut you could probably really pull some numbers, man. I mean look at this.” Sam yanked on a strand and Bucky instantly bristled.

“Get off me,” he grumbled, rolling his eyes and stepping away. He moved to pick up the coffee waiting at the end of the bar.

“Oo I take it back,” Sam whooped as they both turned to leave. “That is soft as hell. You use conditioner in there--?”

“Excuse me.” Your small polite plea went unheard.

Bucky slapped Sam’s hand away “Would you knock it off.”

“Um, excuse me?” you tried again, gently tapping the leather elbow of Bucky’s jacket.

“I just wanna know!” Sam laughed. “If any of that product is combustible, we gotta--”

“Hey!” you shouted just as Bucky raised the cup of coffee to his lips. “That’s mine!”

“What?”

“You took my drink.”

He stared down at you for a long moment, blinking through his confusion. Somewhere, he knew, the right words for this situation had to be in his brain, but he couldn’t find them. You were talking to him. Opportunity had fallen right into his lap, but all he could do was glare at you.

“Dude, say something,” Sam mumbled quietly in his ear as he turned discretely back toward the door.

“No, this is mine,” Bucky finally deadpanned. “Extra hot Americano, black.”

“No.” You snorted and the smirk curling your lip just slightly, drew all of Bucky’s focus. He couldn’t care less about his coffee. “They called my name, that’s mine.”

A smile danced across his features as she shook his head. “I noticed you in line behind me; mine came out first.”

He took a sip as you leaned back crossing your arms, your head tilted to the side in smug satisfaction. He sputtered at the sweet creamy taste of your flavored latte.

“Shit. I’m so sorry.”

“Extra hot Americano for Bucky?” the barista called as he set a new cup on the end of the bar.

A short burst of laughter overtook you as mortification seeped into every line of Bucky’s face.

“I think that’s for you,” you nodded toward the bar and reached for the drink in his hand. “And I’ll take that.”

“I’m an idiot. Please, let me buy you another one.”

You glanced at the line and shook your head. “No time, Bucky was it? I’ve got to get to work.” Instead you reached for the plastic lids and swapped in a fresh one, praying this cute stranger was as clean as he looked. “But I see you here a lot; how ‘bout next time?”

He stared at you for a moment, stunned, and again wishing his damn mouth had something better to say than, “Yeah. Of course. That would be… Yes.”

In a moment he was tumbling, falling for you in a thousand ways as he watched the excited smile overtake your face before you nodded and looked at your feet. A nervous energy crept up from your stomach as you tried to contain that grin. Bucky bit the inside of his cheek as he considered lifting your chin and testing just how soft your lips were.

“Okay, well…” you stammered with a smile under the weight of his stare. “See you next time, then.”

He nodded and watched as you moved for the door.

Three little breaths. He took one to steady himself as the thought entered his mind and he determined to do it. Another full of fear and doubt as you took another two quick steps away; his chance disappearing with you. The third quick and sharp before he could lose his nerve.

“Or we could make it ice cream?” he called after you.

You turned back, one hand on the door.

“Your drink is more sugar than coffee. I thought you might like to get ice cream instead. With me. This weekend.”

“It won’t take me all weekend to eat an ice cream cone,” you smirked as you walked back to where you’d left him by the condiment station.

“No, I didn’t mean…” he laughed scrubbing a hand over the back of his neck.

You chuckled and reached behind him for a cardboard sleeve. The warm saccharine scent of your shampoo hit Bucky like a soft wave. Everything about you seemed to invite him closer.

“I don’t know if you love ice cream as much as I do, but if you don’t have a spot in mind yet, I know a great place in Brooklyn.”

He couldn’t help but grin as you handed him the sleeve with your name and number scrawled in black ink. “Brooklyn’s great.”

The pieces of the mug clatter to the floor and Bucky stares at them for a moment as he takes a slow deep breath. It’s just one more broken piece, one more bruise. It will fade but he’ll hold onto the memory. He’ll hold onto you.

“Okay,” he mumbles, tipping his hands and letting the rest of the pieces fall to the ground. Steve looks up at his friend, deep blue eyes a sea of concern and tempered hope. “You’re right. I can’t stay here anymore.”

I’ll reblog with tags shortly because it takes foreverrrrrrrrrrr

#mamtwritingchallenge #bucky x reader #bucky x reader angst #bucky x reader fluff #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x reader angst #bucky barnes x reader fluff #three little breaths fic #three little breaths #three little breaths 1 #three little breaths part 1 #three little breaths chapter 1

[allisonbaelfire]

Light In The Shadows

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes!Best Friend x Reader Summary: 3 years ago, you fought alongside your fiance, Steve Rogers, against your own team to stand up for what you believe in. You sacrificed yourself and got captured, so that Steve and Bucky could stop Zemo from re-activating the remaining Winter Soldiers. Your team and you were taken into custody by Ross. After Steve freed you, he brought you to Wakanda and disappeared without saying a word.

Word Count: 4,194

Authors Note: This Story is for @marvelatmytrash‘s writing challenge! Congrats to your followers and thank you for being you!

I got the prompt, “I’ve never felt this way about anyone... but that doesn’t make it right.” / This Story takes place during Infinity War. (I really tried to make it a One Shot but there will be a part 2)

_______________________________________________

1 Year after Civil War:

“Y/N, stop thinking!” Okoye commanded as she threw you to the ground effortlessly.

You quickly got up. “Again.”

The general shook her head and came in front of you. “Y/N, you’ve become an excellent and intelligent warrior, especially since I have been training with you. Do not feign stupidity to risk a concussion. You’re not here.” She spoke, retrieving your knife from your hand.

You refused to admit it but Okoye was right. Normally, she couldn’t take you down so quick. Before you came to Wakanda, you were already skilled in fighting. After all, you had been an Avenger for a few years but with Okoye’s training, your abilities grew.

“Not only are you somewhere else with your thoughts but your heart is not here either. Take the day off.”

Even though you were absolutely sure you hadn’t informed anyone on today’s date, it seemed like Okoye would know how hard it was for you to push through. Today was the day Steve Roger's proposed to you two years ago.

“I’m sorry.” You apologized while holding back tears.

You hated that you were still in pain whenever you thought about the lost love of your life. You didn’t want to be a woman that pitied oneself. Instead of mourning and asking you every day why, you trained with Okoye and T'Challa to repress your grief. 

Okoye gave you a small smile. She was about to leave the training room when Shuri stormed through the door with a grin. “He’s awake.” the princess announced.

You didn’t need anymore words to comprehend what Shuri meant, for you followed her out of the room.

**************************************

Both you and Shuri zigzagged the halls of the palace until you jogged into the throne room. Your eyes recognized the silhouette of a good ole friend, a tear of joy rolling down your cheeks.

“Hey Bucky.” You greeted as you walked towards him.

You couldn’t believe your eyes once he turned around. His familiar features carried a warm vibe. He still possessed the brunette long hair and everything else about him seemed healthy. Somehow, he appeared to be truly happy.

Bucky took slow but confident strides up to you. Other people were in the room but you couldn’t care less when you jumped into his arms. Your face buried itself into his neck, your eyes releasing tears. You were so relieved to see him.

Bucky pecked your head. “I’ve missed you too doll.” By the sound of his tone, you knew how true his words were. “So where’s my punk?” He asked, gently placed you down.

The good mood washed away instantly with silence engulfing the room. No one dared to say a word. It was as if everyone but Bucky stopped breathing at his question.

It’s been a year since your fiancé left you without saying a word. This was after Bucky insisted being placed in cryogenic storage. He didn’t know, like nearly everyone in Wakanda, that the name Steve Rogers wasn’t allowed to be said near you. He couldn’t know that his question triggered pain internally for you.

T'challa cleared his throat. “Shuri, why don’t you show Y/N her new suit while I guide Mr. Barnes through Wakanda?” His sister guided you out of the room with a gentle grasp of your hand.

************************************** 2 Years After Civil War:

Not much had changed after Bucky awoke except that his presence made you Wakanda feel like home. Before he woke up, everyone tried to make you feel comfortable but it didn’t work. You missed your home, the Avengers, and above all, Steve. With Bucky, it was like having your own big brother.

“You’re such a boaster, Barnes.” You laughed with your back to the ground and your belly facing the sky.

“It’s not my fault that you still don’t know how to use your skills against me in a fair fight.” He helped you stand. “Or I’m just too good.”

You rolled your eyes. “Fair fight, huh? What about our fights are fair? You have your vibranium arm!” You hissed playfully. “Do you see me using my fire suit? No, I take all the beatings. If I’d put on my suit and stopped going easy on you, you’d never take me down again. Old man.” “Ah is that so, Doll?” He teased. You smirked.

“I agree with her but I’d put both of you down and I wouldn’t need my suit.” T’challa throw in as he entered the garden. “Why don’t you two use the training room like everyone else?”

“First thing, we’re not like everyone, my friend.” Bucky tapped T’Challa’s shoulder. “And training outside in the middle of Wakanda on a sunny day is way better.”

“And second, you have the power of the Black Panther.” You added. “Without it, I’d put you down just like I’d do with our White Wolf here.”

T’Challa attempted a serious face but broke character at Bucky’s laughter.

 “Anyways I just wanted to check on you Y/N.” T’Challa admitted.

Once again, your euphoric state diminished. You knew his reasoning for checking up on you. He was about to leave Wakanda for a few weeks felt guilty for leaving you alone. Today marked the second year for Steve disappearing.

You nodded to let him know that you were thankful. You wanted to move forward. T’challa gave you a kiss on your forehead in understanding before excusing himself.

Bucky was confused at first but remembered the date. He embraced you. “I’m sorry. I forgot.”

It took one year, and Bucky was your best friend. He knew your darkest secrets, your weirdest habits, your favorite places in Wakanda, how you fought, and so much more. But you also knew all about him. You knew what he did, how guilty he still felt, and in many sleepless nights, you had to remind him that he was not the monster he thought he was. While Shuri helped to clear his mind of Hydra, your friendship helped Bucky discover himself. You helped each other heal.

“Okay, I’m gonna tell you something. You should stop.”

You brows rose. “With what?”

“There’s no way to say this nicely but I’ll try.” Bucky deeply inhaled, grabbing your shoulders firmly. “Y/N, you have got to stop crying about Steve. We both haven’t heard from him and as much as it pains me to say it, I don’t know if we ever will. Steve is my best friend. I’m very grateful for everything he’s done for me but what he did to you and how much you struggle, my friend would’ve never done this. That’s not the man I know. Not the man who told me how much he loved you. He doesn’t deserve to be in your thoughts any longer.”

You were surprised at Bucky’s words because you knew from the sleepless nights you two shared when he had nightmares, how much Steve meant to him. The reason why you two were so close based on the stories Steve told you about his best friend and since he was awake and doing better, it was like you’d known him your entire life. To hear Bucky say those things about Steve made you wonder if he was right.

“We were together for over six years.. I am who I am because of him. I wanted to marry that man. I just don’t know how to put this behind me.” You started crying. “I still love him.”

Bucky was the only one who you refused to lie to. With him, you stopped pretending that everything was alright. Even after two years, the pain hardly diminished.

Bucky wiped your tears away, “And I am who I am now because of you. Y/N, you’ve got to know one thing: you’re my family and we have each other. I’ll never leave you, okay?”

He engulfed you in his arms once more. Bucky was always afraid of hurting people, so you knew that he meant what he said by the hug.

**************************************

3 Years after Civil War:

“But Y/N, you need a superhero name!” Shuri rejoiced. “I mean look at you! Discreetly running around the world saving people with Bucky and my brother. Even Bucky has some sort of a nickname.” She smiled. “How about Dinora?”

You looked at her confused. “Why? What does that even mean?” 

“It means the light of the fire.” Bucky answered why playing with Shuri’s tech.

Over the last two years Bucky and you found your place in Wakanda. Bucky was a new man. He was happy and the nightmares ceased. Everything finally fell into place.  

“Stop touching that Wolfie!” Shuri snatched one of her devices from him. “How do you even know the meaning of that?”

“Isn’t it obvious? Look at her. Y/N looks like bright lavain her suit (X) .” Bucky replied. Shuri only raised an eyebrow. “Fine. I Googled it.”

 “I shouldn’t have shown you the Internet.” she shook her head.

You grinned. “Okay, I’ll take the name. Only if you stop getting on my nerves about it.” 

Nakia came into the lab. “Shuri, we have a situation.” You furrowed your brows at the queen. “They’re here.”

You whipped your head around to face Bucky and Shuri. “Who’s here?”

Nakia didn’t speak. She figured you would know who she was speaking of without forcing herself to say the name for her sister in-law. Shuri was still confused. Bucky was ready to hold you back if you took a step towards the door.

Shuri chose the name Dinora for a reason. You’ve always been like fire but more like lava that would destroy anything if someone hurt you or those you loved. Steve had hurt you. And Bucky didn’t want to watch what you, his family now, would do to your ex-fiancé, his best friend who had always been like a brother.

**************************************

Before the Palace:

The King was aware of the guests in Wakanda. He was prepared to welcome them with the Dora Milaje behind. The Quinjet landed in front of the palace. As he saw the man who crushed your heart exit the ship, he became torn. He knew when you’d find out that Steve was back and T’Challa allowed it, you’d be really disappointed in T’Challa. He didn’t want that because you had become family to him. However, T’Challa also knew that Steve wouldn’t be here if he didn’t have a good reason.

“You’re very brave, my friend.” the king praised as he shook Steve’s hand.

“Maybe coming back here wasn’t so brave. More so of stupid.” Okoye muttered. T’Challa heard her remark and smirked.

“Excuse you?” Natasha asked. The king wasn’t the only one who caught Okoye’s words.

Steve threw Natasha a look. “It’s fine. I understand.” He replied with his hung head low. “Could we talk inside? Maybe I can explain everything.”

T’challa nodded. “You know that she’ll be back at the beginning? When Y/N sees him, right?” Okoye whispered to her King.

T’challa grinned. “No, she won’t. Y/N is much stronger now and we will not allow him or anyone else to hurt her once more. She is one of us now. I do not care who brought her here.”

**************************************

Hours went by and the king understood the urgent visit of Steve and his teammates. It was clear that they’d stay much longer than he thought. T’Challa was speechless at first after Steve explained the situation.

“We have to do this together, otherwise no one will survive this.” Steve begged for his help. “Thanos is looking for Infinity Stones. Our friend Vision carries one of those” Steve stated as Vision and Wanda came forward to display the stone on his head. “We need Wakanda’s help to save him, find the other stones-”

T’Challa believed every word he had heard but that didn’t make his situation any easier. To be honest, he was overwhelmed. A Titan he had never heard of threatened his world. But you were now a part of T’Challa’s family. He was loyal to Wakanda and his family first before anything else.

But he knew he couldn’t spare you this fight. You were one of the best warriors he had. He had to put aside his feelings and decide as a king that Wakanda, and that included you, would fight alongside Steve and the Avengers.

“Not on my watch.” Shuri thundered as she came into the room. She was furious with her brother. “How dare you help this man! You know how long it took us to help Y/N!”

Sam and Natasha glanced at each other in confusion. “What’s with Y/N?”

“He broke her heart.” Shuri replied. “As he left her here without a word.”

T’Challa carefully observed Steve’s face. Steve opened his mouth to speak but T’Challa stopped him. “Shuri that’s enough.”

She glared at T’Challa. He claimed to always protect you and Bucky but now he’d force you to fight with Steve? Shuri didn’t understand. She saw in the eyes of her brother that she shouldn’t say anything now but that never stopped her before. What stopped her was Bucky who joined the room.

Steve smiled at the sight of his best friend. “Hey Buck, how are you?”

“Not bad for the end of the world.” He smiled as he hugged Steve.

“How do you know whats going on?” Shuri questioned.

“He’d be here if not.” Bucky replied looking Steve into his eyes to show him that he was relieved to see him alive but that he was mad at his best friend for what he did to you.

**************************************

A few days later:

Steve, T’Challa and the others informed everyone on their reasoning for being in Wakanda here and why they needed you.

You, however, didn’t leave the training room ever since Steve sat a foot on Wakanda. You managed to hide yourself well. You only came out when you needed sleep or food and then you were running into the woods. You laid yourself down somewhere where no one could’ve found you easily and when you had to eat, you ate berries or hunted.

Everything seemed better than sitting with you Ex-Fiance at a dinner table.

The only one who found you sometimes was Bucky. He explained everything to you and told you that Steve really wanted to talk. But you didn’t want to hear anything else, not even from Bucky. So, you hid in places where even Bucky couldn’t find you. You understood why you had to fight alongside Steve but that didn’t mean you couldn’t hide until the fight began. You climbed up a tree and rested on a limb.

“So when do you plan on coming out? And saying hi.” A female voice asked below you.

You recognized the woman immediately. “How about never? How did you find me Natasha?” You sighed.

Natasha climbed up. “Did you forget who taught you how to hide? I’d find you everywhere.”

“That was a long time ago.” You replied coolly, still not looking at her.

“I still found you, didn’t I?” She smirked. “I’ve missed you.”

You feigned a laugh. “Yeah? Why didn’t you come visit me then, huh?”

“Y/N, you don’t understand.” Natasha spokes softly.

“What exactly? That my future husband left me or that my best friends didn’t even care to write a letter on where they were or if they’re even alive?” You looked at her, trying not to cry as you saw your former best friend.

“We didn’t know what happened, Y/N. We wanted to protect you. You should really talk to Steve and give him a chance to explain. You both might never get the chance again.” Natasha responded and jumped off the branch. “He’s in the palace talking with T’Challa about the plan.” Then she left.

“Damn it, Natasha...” You said as you thought over her words. She was right, it was time to face him.

You jumped out of the tree and made your way towards the palace.

**************************************

You gave yourself two hours to clean up and prepare for the talk. You then made your way to Steve. But you weren’t prepared for what you saw the moment you opened the door to the throne room.

You recognized Steve as he stood next to Bucky and T’Challa as they went over the plan to the others. He stood with the back to you at first but as he noticed that nobody was listening to him anymore and were looking to the door, he turned around. There were so many thoughts in your mind as you looked into his beautiful ocean eyes.

You checked him out, noticing he had changed. He still wore his old suit but without the white star in the middle; it looked as if he had ripped it off. His blond hair was longer than he usually wore it. All those years when you two were together and he had a beard. You tried to hide how hard it was for you to see him. But everyone knew that in the moment he had turned around, your heart broke into a thousand pieces and you didn’t know how to fix it this time

Bucky could tell that you were to break any second. He pushed pass Steve and made his way to you. He grabbed your hand and didn’t say a word but that was enough for you.

Bucky slowly walked you over to stand in front of Steve. The tall blond man deeply inhaled. It wasn’t easy for him to see you either. When you stood in front of him, Bucky released your hand and gestured to everyone in the room to give you and Steve some space.

**************************************

At first no one said a word. You two stared and kept your distance.

He genuinely smiled. “You look gorgeous.” Steve finally broke the silence.

Hearing his deep voice for the first time in three years awoke some memories. Mostly good ones. Like when he told you “I love you” every morning when you woke up next to each other or every night when you went into bed together again.

Steve saw how close you were to breaking down. He couldn’t help himself and wrapped his arms gently around you. He missed you. He knew how much he had hurt you because you weren’t a woman that’d cry just by seeing a person. Steve couldn’t bear the thought of what you must have been through because of him.

You didn’t understand why he’d do that. Why would he think he had any right to touch you, to hold you like he still loved you? But you didn’t fight him. You forgot how good it felt and how much you missed holding the man you adored and loved more than anything. After a few minutes you pushed him away.

You took a deep breath and wiped some tears out of your face. “Why?” You asked him. You couldn’t manage to say anything else.

“Because I wanted you to have a life.” He answered with his head down to hide his tears from you. “Me and the others are refugee’s now... we don’t stay in a motel longer than we have to. We can’t go home.”

“Think of something better than that Rogers.” You demanded. “I can’t go back either, remember? I could’ve come with you!”

“But I didn’t want this life for you!” Steve shouted as he looked at you. “You deserved more than that, I promised you more than that.” You saw his tears and didn’t know how to respond.

“So you decided to leave me by myself?” You questioned.

He shook his head. “I didn’t. I saw how close Bucky and you were. You helped each other, that’s good.”  Steve sounded a bit jealous.

“Don’t you dare be jealous and drag him into this, he has nothing to do with your mistake!”

Steve took a breath. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to live like I had to and believe me I didn’t want to leave you but I, I—”

“-You had to save the world.” You added. “Yeah. I’ve heard that before but last time I was allowed to come with you and fight with our best friends.”

That was it. Steve grabbed your hand and dropped to his knees. He held your hands close to his forehead. You never expected this to happen. He was always a caring person except the one time he got on his knees, when he proposed, he’d never do that.

“I love you and I’m sorry for what I did. I’d change it if I could. I thought here, you could have a better life than to be always on the run. But don’t think for a second I stopped loving you because I never did.” He cried. “I need you by my side and I always knew that but I was too afraid to come back again.”

You knelt in front of him and gently touched his cheek. “You can’t imagine how much I love you, Steve Rogers.” You made him look into your eyes. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone.. but that doesn’t make it right.”

You stood up and made your way to the door but you stopped before opening it. “I have to think about everything.”

Steve nodded. He understood but was relieved that you didn’t shut the door for you two for good. He’d give you the time you needed, even if that meant his whole life. Steve never wanted to hurt you and he knows that he had to win your trust back.

“I love you.” He said behind you but you were already out of the door.

___________________________

Sorry for some grammar mistakes, I’ll take care of them in a few days!

_______________________________________

Taglist: @marvelatmytrash @disneymarina @redjamesboy @wehaveabucky 

OS Taglist: @hayleyyyatwell

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#MAMTWritingChallenge #Light In The Shadows #captain america #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #marvel fanfiction #marvel imagine #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagines #natasha romanoff imagine #king t'challa #shuri #infinity war #infinity war imagine #captain america imagine #wakanda

[marvelatmytrash]

Thank You for Following!!

Hello my Dear Ones!!

Last night I reached 3K followers!! So to commemorate this event I wanted to celebrate all of you that have helped make this happen!! Over the past year you all have gotten to know me through reblogs, story interactions, inbox messages, and private conversations, but now I want to take our relationship to the next level and get to know YOU through YOUR stories.

Whether you are a veteran writer or just want to give it a shot, I want to read it!!! So this challenge is open to anyone!

There is no theme except for marvel only, so feel free to do anything: AUs, Canon, Original Characters, Reader inserts, even character crossovers! The sky is the limit!

Rules:

Reblog this post so others can participate too and I can keep track of who’s playing. Use the hashtag  #MAMTWritingChallenge  (Sorry for the weird hashtag, but so many others are taken!)

You can claim a maximum of 2 prompts/songs/cliches

Must be an MCU character, preferably adult characters, if you want to write Peter Parker or Shuri do not write smut for them!

Drabbles, one shots, series, etc are all welcome

It can be angst, fluff, smut or all three

You can enter at any time, just send me a message. The deadline for posting your first part is May 27th!

You can enter by sending me an ask with the prompt that you want to use, and pairing if you know

When you post, tag me in it at @marvelatmytrash and also use the hashtag #MAMTWritingChallenge. If I do not interact with your post within 48 hours, either as MarvelAtMyTrash or with my primary blog @1fellswoop then I have missed your tag so please contact me about it!

Have fun!! Can’t wait to read all the wonderful things you all create!

I will cross off and tag as people claim prompts! 

Songs: 

1) Exit Music (For a Film) by Radiohead

2) Smother by Daughter   @nataliarxmanxva

3) Awake Me by Rosie Carney

4) I’ll Be Fine by Johnny Stimson

5) Liar by LEON

6) Hurts like Hell (Feat. Fleurie) by Tommee Profitt

7) 4 am by Olivver the kid

8) Found My War (Stripped) by Mark Diamond

9) Last Love Song by ZZ Ward

10) Shelter by Dorothy

11) Love you any less by Rag’n’Bone Man

12) Goodnight  by Shoffy

13) Someone to Stay by Vancouver Sleep Clinic

14) Follow Me by Jasmine Thompson  @hiswhiteknight for Bucky

15) Paralyzed by NF

16) Train Wreck by James Arther

Prompts:

17) “Breathe… Just keep breathing” @imhereforbvcky with Bucky

18) “I’ve never felt this way about anyone… but that doesn’t make it right.” @allisonbaelfire with Steve 

19) “They thought I would forget… but I remember everything.” @diinofayce for Bucky/Winter Soldier

20) “Trying to forget you is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.” @diinofayce  for Bucky/Winter Soldier

21) “I need to fall out of love with you, I wish you would let me.” @dorned for Bucky 

22) “10 minutes… It took 10 minutes for you to ruin everything”@disgruntlednerd02 for Scott Summers

23) “I can’t take a single breath without thinking of all the breaths I’ve taken away.” @minarawr 

24) “Don’t drink too much sweetheart, I need you to be cognizant later”

25) “Turn around, walk forward. For fucks sake, if you want to live, you must do exactly as I say.” @captainrogerrsbeard for Steve 

26) “I thought you died!” “Yeah, well it didn’t stick.”

27) “Hey, I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you.” “Yes, and I’m trying to subtly avoid it.” @militarymedicbabe 

28) “You know when I said I was done with love, I didn’t think you’d take that as a personal challenge.” @the-devil-wears-vibranium for Bucky

29) “I trusted you!” “Well, who’s fault is that?” @allyouneedisangst

30) “You have no idea who I am, do you?” @sweetness47

31) “You’re not as terrible as people seem to think you are” “No, I’m much worse” @minarawr 

32) “Are you SURE I can’t punch him in the face?” “Yes.” “What if I just break his nose a little? Maybe a tooth or two?” @denialanderror

33) “If there’s one thing I’ve learned, never trust a survivor until you know what they did to stay alive.” @lesqui

34) “I saved your life!”  “You pushed me off a fucking building!” “You’re alive aren’t you?” @acreativelydifferentlove for Bucky

35) “I’m fine.” “You don’t look fine to me.” “Then stop looking” @brianna-sama for Loki/ofc

36) “It’s a long story.” “I went to your funeral last year… trust me, I’ve got time.”

37) “Where you going looking like a snack?” @fangirlextraordinaire For Sam

38) “You made your choice… And I made mine… just because you can’t live with yours doesn’t mean you get to change mine.” @justreadingfics for Steve

39) “Jesus Fucking Christ, you scared me!” “Well, I am naturally terrifying” @disgruntlednerd02 for Scott Summer

40) “You could have told me.” @fangirlextraordinaire713 for Bucky

My Favorite Fanfic Cliches: 

41) Hate turns to love/lust @hiswhiteknight for Bucky

42) Reader is kidnapped @legion1993 Tony x reader

43) Drunken confession @the-devil-wears-vibranium for Bucky

44) Forced to share a bed @mandyds27

45) Confined space for multiple days @brianna-sama for Steve/ofc

46) Misunderstanding of affection

47) Forced to fight teammate

48) Bandaging each other’s wounds @captainrogerrsbeard

50) In love with best friend’s significant other  @militarymedicbabe49) Pretending to date to make someone else jealous

51) Unrequited love for your best friend @v-2bucky for Steve

52) Calming someone down after a nightmare @sweetness47

53)  Cradling their partner’s dead or unconscious body @a-wanna-be-emo

54) Confession of love comes out in an argument  @justreadingfics for Steve

55) Stark throws a party @acreativelydifferentlove for Steve

Can’t wait to read what you all create! Happy writing and as always, thank you for reading! 

#MAMTWritingChallenge #Writing challenge #follower celebration #reader appreciation #challenge #writing #new writers #bee responds #BEE RECOMMENDS #Bee talks #Bee Asks

[mandyds27]

Unlikely Bed Fellows

Pairings: Loki & Original Female Character

Warning: Explicit language & sexual content

Summary(Loki hasn’t had the best of time trying to settle in with the other Avengers. They don’t trust him and are always looking for him to do something wrong. No one believes him that he’s trying to be a better person. Wanting to do right by his brother for once in his miserable life. Especially now that neither of them have parents anymore, or a world for that matter. Asgard is nothing but dust in the cosmos after Hela and Ragnorak. Well, everyone mistrusts him, but one. The new girl Captain Righteous brought in to join their ragtag group of misfits. Raegan. She’s definitely not like everyone else.)

(Loki POV)

Idiots, the lot of them! I wouldn’t dare say that though...again. Having Thor chastise me again like an insolent child once was enough for an entire lifetime. “Brother, You can’t treat them as beneath you if you want their support and trust.” Easier said than done. Especially when all they do is treat me as a nuisance and a drain on their resources. Always expecting me to lash out and try to betray or kill everyone. Ok, in my defense, I can’t really blame them too much for that. I haven’t had the best track record in the trust department. But I’m wanting to change that.

Thor was right as he leaned over me while shocking the hell out of me, I needed to grow as a person and stop resorting back to just the God of Mischief. Even I knew that, but it took him pointing it out and losing everything I’ve ever known as home to really understand it.

So I sit here and listen and observe while the humans discuss their meager plans and strategical maneuvers. Pfft! If you want to call it that! It’s quite comical though seeing the Captain and Stark beat their chests around each other trying to prove which one is right and has the better plan of attack. I stiffened suddenly against my little corner of the conference room as Raegan came to stand beside me. Every fiber of my being was tuned in to her presence, completely forgetting about the circus in front of me.

“Listen to these idiots. I’m choking on all the testosterone.” She leaned against the wall directly beside me, her arm brushing mine. “I swear it’s like watching Animal Planet. I halfway expect to see them start beating their chests and flinging poo any second.” I couldn’t help it, I laughed. She gave me a huge smile and joined in. “You two having fun over there or would you actually like to join in on the meeting?” The Captain gave me his sternest glare.

Raegan pushes her dark brown hair over her shoulder and sweetly smiled at our fearless leader. “Sorry Steve, my bad..can you go over that last part again?” Rogers smiled and blushed, the moron, and turned back to the meeting. She looked at me and winked. I couldn’t help but be proud of how she handled him. I take it back, they’re all idiots, but her. Not to mention having the body of a Goddess, that helped as well.

She nudged me with her elbow and motioned toward Tony, “I don’t know about this plan...Tony, what do you think?” I watched as Stark seemed to puff up and go into a barrage of explaining himself on his original plan of attack from above, instead of infiltration from the ground. The whole team began to go around and around again. I looked at her in awe, she played them like a violin. I think I’m in love!

Raegan or ‘Ray’ as most of them call her, is a recent addition to our group. She apparently made a name for herself with her abilities to pretty much blow shit up with her mind. Very useful in the art of battle which caught the good Captain’s attention. He brought her in one day like “look what I found, a new toy”. Personally I think he has a bit of a crush on her. Not that I blame him, she is quite phenomenal.

The meeting was finally over and Thor scowled at me. Oh great, now what? He came closer, “Brother! Why must you disrupt the meeting? You know that gets you nowhere!” I wilted inside, again he was assuming I was the cause of anything that goes wrong. “Thor?” His eyes darted to Raegan who was shockingly still by my side. “Ah, Lady Rae, how are you doing this fine day?” I rolled my eyes when he wasn’t looking my way. “I’m wonderful.” I stared as she got Thor to tell her exactly what was decided upon during the meeting, because like myself, she wasn’t paying any attention.

Once Thor left with his head slightly swollen from her sweet talking him and telling him how wonderful he was for helping her, she looked back at me and smirked, “And that Loki, is how you work a room.” She blew a kiss and walked off with a sway to her hips that had my jaw about hitting the floor. “Damn.” That woman will be the death of me! I’m positive of it!

The Avengers assembled outside the Quinjet before heading out. Everyone was loading up with weapons and checking their gear. I decided I’ve had enough of everyone ignoring me on my attempts to help in any way, and went inside the jet. I stared out the window with my arms crossed, willing the day to fast forward to where I could go back to my room and pretend to not exist. “Loki? Could you help me a moment?” I turned around and there she stood, back exposed to me, looking over shoulder. “Umm..” she smiled and wiggled, “ZIP me up?”

I reached out and took hold of the zipper and slowly pulled it up. I let the back of my fingers graze her soft skin. I had to resist the urge to bury my nose into her neck and breath in her scent. “Thank you.” She turned around, “I asked Steve and he turned as red as a tomato. Clint walked away saying he was married. I would have asked Thor, but he was too busy telling Natasha a love story about his damn hammer.” I couldn’t help myself, I laughed! “Thought you’d like that? So where are you sitting?” She motioned toward the seats.

I pointed to the one in the back and she shook her head. “Nuh Uh, not today. Come on, let’s cause a stir.” She grabbed my hand and pulled me up to the front, sitting where Tony usually sits. “Not sure Stark will approve of us taking his seat.” She snorted which made me raise an eyebrow at her. “We don’t have assigned seating, besides, I want to fuck with him.” This time both eyebrows went high. It was the first time I had heard a curse word leave her mouth. “Well then, this will be interesting.”

Everyone began to pile in. Tony stood right next to us and glared down at me, “Uh, I believe you’re in my seat Reindeer Games. Care to move?” She linked her arm through mine and looked up at the billionaire, “Oh I’m sorry, did we miss that part in the meeting that made this seat permanently yours? I didn’t see a name on the seat?” She grinned and leaned on me as if to snuggle in for a nap. Tony just stared at her gaping like a fish. He turned beet red and turned around sitting behind us. I was amazed, if it had been anyone but her, he would have lost his shit, especially me.

“Why do you enjoy messing with them so much?” She looked up and grinned, “Because I can.” I watched her as she propped her feet upon the wall and leaned more into my side, arm still around mine. “Wake me when we get there.” I heard Tony groan, “Steve, she purposely provoking me now!” The Captain groaned in annoyance, “Just let it go Tony.” I bit my lip as Raegan began to sing, “Let it go...let it go...can’t hold it back anymore!!” The jet broke out in laughter. “I got that reference.” We all laughed harder.

The plan went completely wrong of course, I knew it would. We ended up being stranded in Siberia in the middle of a damn blizzard! Thanks to The Hulk, we were left without a jet. It lay in a smoldering heap at the bottom of a mountain. Due to the storm we were unable to call out for an extraction. Our only action was to find shelter and hold up until the storm passed and we could get word out to home base.

We trudged through the snow and ice, everyone voicing their discomfort...except Raegan. She started to fall behind. Everyone was so wrapped up in trying to get themselves through the storm, they didn’t even notice..but I did. She had her arms wrapped around her and her lips were turning an unnatural blue color. She was shivering, teeth chattering and tripping over her own feet. She was in trouble.

I rushed to her and scooped her up against my chest, conjuring my green cape and wrapping it around her shivering body. She was as cold as ice. Thankfully the cold doesn’t bother me. But it could definitely kill her. The thought made my chest tighten and put a purpose in my steps to find shelter and fast. Because pretty much anyone who wasn’t enhanced or from another world was showing signs of hypothermia. We needed to get out of this weather quickly. I won’t lose her! I refuse!!

Tony flew ahead in his suit as best he could with only a few of his repulsors working, since most were damaged in the fight. He came back twenty minutes later. “A small town! Three miles to the East!” Thank the Gods! It took us longer than expected to even go those three miles. The terrain was tricky with the snow making it even worse. I began to worry about Raegan because she had stopped moving. True fear began to set in that she may have truly frozen to death in my arms. The thought shook me to my core! I couldn’t let her die! Not her! Anyone but her!

I hadn’t realized how attached I’d become to the human female until that moment. My heart ached with the need to see her smile at me just one more time. The town was apparently empty, which made it quite easier to take up refuge in the small homes set along one main stretch of road. A mining town from the looks of it, not used this time of year, for obvious reasons. The homes were tiny, made for single miners with no families. So essentially a one bedroom hut with just the basic necessities. Most were damaged from the storm causing an avalanche so it only left a few usable structures. The Captain gathered us, “We’re going to have to share. Find fuel to burn to stay warm and hold up for the night until the storm passes. Who’s sharing with whom?”

I spoke first, “I’ll share with Raegan, the cold doesn’t bother me.” No one objected since pretty much everyone else had already paired off while Cap spoke about sharing. Natasha with Clint, Tony and Bruce, Cap and Thor...well at least they didn’t argue with me. I didn’t even stop to listen to him ramble on about anything else and rushed to the nearest cabin. With a flick of my wrist the door unlocked and swung open. The door slammed shut behind us, leaving me standing in the middle of a dark and cold room alone with Raegan for the first time.

I laid her gently down onto the tiny couch, unwrapping her from my cloak. I summoned a ball of light in my hand and was taken aback by her green eyes peering up at me. “Oh..thank the Gods you’re alright. I was afraid you’d frozen to death.” She pulled on my hand and buried her face against my chest. “You’re warm.” I was frozen to the spot as she wrapped her arms around my middle. “No one has ever called me warm before, that’s new.” She hummed and reaches around her, pulling the cape closer. “Yeah well, you are, now cuddle dammit, I’m fucking freezing!”

I laughed and pushed back away from her, “As lovely as that sounds Darling, I need to find some wood for a fire or you will freeze to death.” She snorted in annoyance and wrapped herself up like the burritos that Clint loves so much. “Fine! Go find wood! I’m going to hibernate now.” I rolled my eyes and went about searching for wood. I found none. “Dammit!” She peaked her head up out of my cape, “No such luck?” I groaned and looked back at her, feeling helpless. I could conjure fire, but without anything to burn it was useless.

“What about blankets, in the bedroom?” Good idea! I picked her up again and carried her into the tiny bedroom with a bed barely big enough for me, let alone both of us. I set her on her feet and pulled down the thick blankets and motioned for her to get in. “These will help keep you warm.” She stood there shivering again, “Doubtful, but I’ll give it a try.” She handed me my cape and quickly rushed under the covers. I sat in a chair by the window watching the storm as she tried to get some sleep. Her teeth chattering got my attention, “That doesn’t sound like you’re keeping warm over there.” She whined and peaked her head out from under the blankets where she had buried herself.

“You were warmer...come to bed Loki, we can share..body heat and all.” I debated this in my head, she did have a point. “Oh alright, fine, if you think it will help. But no kicking or you’ll end up on that cold chair in the other room.” She grinned and made an X over her heart. “I promise.” I sighed heavily as I looked the bed over. My armor will have to go if I hope to fit in there with her, not to mention cold leather and metal won’t be conducive of getting warm. I began to remove them.

She watched me like a hawk as piece after piece of my armor came off, laying it neatly in the chair I once sat in. When I was done, all I had left on was my tunic and leathers, though those were soft to the touch and always retained heat very well. She held up the many blankets as I climbed in beside her. She immediately plastered herself to my side, then froze, “Nope, not gonna work, turn toward me.” I groaned and rolled over to face her. She snuggled against my chest and I couldn’t help but wrap my arm around her, holding her close. “Is that better?”

She pushed her head up under my chin, her breath caressing the exposed skin above my collar. “Oh yes, much better.” We stayed like that for many minutes, her breath evening out to the point I figured she had to be sleeping. I allowed myself a moment to lean in and smell her hair. She smelled like strawberries with a hint of something spicy that had to be her perfume. It was quite lovely. Or perhaps it was just the fact I was holding her so close and intimately.

“Why do you let them treat you like they do?” Her sudden voice startled me. She moved her head and looked up at me. I blinked at her for a moment before answering. “I suppose I deserve it. They have every right to hate me as they do.” She frowned and seemed to think this over, “You’ve done nothing but prove yourself over and over to them, many times over. They shouldn’t treat you like you’re not an important part of the team.” Important part of the team...doubtful. “Doubt it all you want, it’s the truth.” Wait...what?!

She suddenly buried her face into my chest again, hiding her face. “Wait..what exactly are your powers? Can you read my mind?!” She shrugged, “Maybe.” I was stunned! All this time, every inappropriate thought I’ve had about her...she knows about?!? “Not all of them.” I gasped, “Raegan! Do the others know about this?!” She shook her head no, “We all need our little secrets, right?” I didn’t even know how to respond. Was she reading my mind right now? “Uh huh.” I reached under the blanket and tilted her chin up to look at me.

In my mind I asked her, ‘Why do you always take my side? Sit next to me? Talk to me when no one else will?’ She blushed and gave me a shy smile, “Because, someone should. But also..I think you’re pretty amazing.” She hid her face again, the heat of her blush warming against my neck. Her confession threw me...why me? Why would she think such things about me when she could have the Captain falling at her feet to worship her?

“Because he doesn’t make me laugh like you do. He doesn’t make me feel the way I do...like I do when I’m with you. He didn’t rush to me to help when I was about to freeze to death. You did. You’re the first one to always come to my aide, no matter what. He doesn’t make my heart burn with desire like it does when you touch me.” My heart rate spiked, listening to her talk about me in such a way. No one...no one has ever thought these things about me. Thor yes, but never me!

I had a hard time trying to wrap my mind around the whole thing. Surely she can’t really mean what she says, the cold getting to her mind, making her delirious! She practically growled and pushed up to a sitting position, looking down at me. “Really Loki?! I pour my heart out, telling you how I feel and you still don’t believe me?! What the fuck?! What do I have to do before you believe me?” I stared at her dumbfounded. She went up onto her knees and began to remove her catsuit. I stared at her in shock as she stripped.

As she knelt before me naked except for a flimsy piece of cloth covering her quim, she placed her hands on her hips and glared down at me. “Loki, I’m fucking in love with you!! I’ve flirted with you for damn near since the day I arrived and you have yet to make a God Damn move on me! This is me, giving myself to you because I want you, not because I’m delirious! You fucking idiot!!” Good God she’s perfection and my heart is done for! She blinked at me like a deer in headlights.

With lightening fast speed, I grabbed her and threw her below me on the bed. I was between her knees, my hands around her wrists as I held them down above her head. “You may just regret loving me Darling, dangling such sweet fruit in front of me...I am not a gentle lover.” She smirked and licked her lips, “If I wanted gentle, I’d go flirt with Captain Rogers.” I growled and took her lips in a fierce kiss, grinding down into her, loving the way she moaned against my mouth.

I kissed down her neck and bit her shoulder just where it meets her throat, making her pant with need. Her legs hooked over my hips, pressing herself harder against me. My cock rock hard and begging to be released from its confines! I’m going to fucking ruin her! She will never want anyone else except me! No ones cock will satisfy her like mine will! She whimpered, I knew she was listening to my thoughts. So I thought the most lewd things I could imagine in my head, I’ve been around over a thousand years...it was quite a bit. She cried out at one very raunchy thought, thrusting up against my cock. “Oh please!! Please Loki!! God I need it!! Please!!” Well since the lady asks so nicely, who am I to deny her?

I sat up and flicked my wrist, my clothing disappearing before her eyes. She looked down and moaned, biting her lip at the size of my cock. I knew how big I was. I also knew she probably won’t be able to walk tomorrow either. She smirked, “Good think you can carry me then, huh?” Oh I am so going to fuck the sass right out of her mouth. “Promises, promises.” I growled and spun her around onto her belly, she squealed in surprise!

I lifted her hips up and ripped her panties right off her body, throwing them into the corner of the room. She won’t be needing those anymore. She whined and sounded needier than ever. Grabbing her hips, I positioned my cock at her weeping entrance. “You better hold on to something Darling, it’s going to be one hell of a ride!” I plunged deep inside her, making her scream my name! I loved it! I loved how my name sounded on her sinful lips. It could be the last think I hear and I could die in fucking peace!

I pounded her mercilessly from behind, the sound of skin slapping echoed throughout the cabin. If it weren’t for the howling of the blizzard the others would have come rushing in, thinking I was killing the poor girl from the way she sounded. She suddenly propped herself up onto her hands and glared back at me, meeting me thrust for thrust, “That all you got?” Oh sweetheart, you’re asking for it!! She grinned wickedly.

Turning her over to face me, she wrapped her legs back around my waist, my cock burying inside her all over again. I gripped the headboard with my left hand, fucking her hard, the bed banging against the wall making a racket! She stretched her neck out and I couldn’t help myself, I wrapped my long fingers around her perfect neck and squeezed...not enough to hurt her, but enough to get her attention, and boy did I ever! She clutched my hand and screamed, cuming hard around my cock! “That’s it Love!! Cum!!” I didn’t slow down, not in the slightest.

She looked at me shocked as I continued to pound into her, I smirked, “You’re fucking a God my Dear, What did you think would happen? I’d cum when you did and roll over to sleep for the night? Oh no, you will beg me to stop before I cum so hard inside you that you will taste me for days to follow. I will fill you full of my seed that your womb will drown in my essence, begging to carry my child deep inside you!!” She orgasmed again! Screeching and writhing beneath me...she loved dirty talk it seems. Oh I’m so going to enjoy this!

Flipping us over she sat astride my cock, “Ride me Darling, fuck that beautiful pussy with my big hard cock!” She moaned and rode me hard and fast. “Pinch your nipples, make them red and juicy for when I finally take them into my mouth they will be ripe for the sucking!” She did as she was told, the dirty talk already making her on the verge to cum again. “That’s it, fuck me! You feel so good, such a good girl! Riding my cock like a champion! No one rides my cock like you do!” She threw her head back and came again! I could feel her arousal soaking my thighs, dripping down onto the bed.

Rushing toward her I laid her out flat on her back and flipped her over onto her belly, legs together and flat against the bed. I smacked her ass hard before plunging back in. I grabbed her hair and wrapped it around my fist, holding on while I fucked her from behind. “Who do you want?!” I screamed at her. “You, oh God!! Only you!!” I growled into the back of her neck, I could feel my own orgasm approaching hard and fast. I wanted her to cum with me. More than anything! “Who do you belong to?!” She clawed at the mattress below her, “You!!” I smacked her ass, “What was that Darling, I couldn’t hear you!” She whined and cried out louder, “YOU!! FUCK!! YOU LOKI!!” I released her hair and gripped her ass cheeks in both hands, holding on tight enough to bruise as I fucked her toward my finish. “You will fucking cum for me little one! You hear me?! You will cum!! NOW!!!” I rammed my cock so far inside her that I fucked straight into her very womb. She screamed and came, welcoming my cum as I spilled it deep inside her. I cried out her name to the ceiling and to the storm outside that raged on.

I collapsed on top of her and we were both panting and trying to retrieve our breath. She mumbled below me, “You’re squishing me.” Oh...”Sorry Darling...here, allow me.” I got up off her, pulling my now flaccid cock from her depths. My cum leaking out. I smirked and reached down, pressing two fingers against her cunt, pushing my cum back inside her. She whimpered and shivered from the contact, “Oh no Love, we want all my essence to stay inside you. You’re mine now.” I laid a kiss to her sweaty temple as I pulled her back and into my arms, covering us both up with the blankets again.

We laid there for a while before she spoke. “All that you said before...about filling me up and making me carry your child...was that just dirty talk or did you mean it?” I looked down at her and smiled, “I love you Raegan, of course I meant it.” She gaped at me for a moment and then buried her head again on my chest. “Ok just checking, because I’m not on birth control. Just so you know.” I grinned and felt my cock begin to stiffen all over again. “Oh Darling, that was a wrong thing to say to me.” She giggled and wrapped her hand around my erection, “Or was it the right thing?” I was right, my heart was truly gone and done for, and I truly didn’t care who knew about it. Certainly not the idiots who did indeed hear us both as we fucked, or the many times after...all night long.

@marvelatmytrash

#MAMTWritingChallenge #forced to share a bed

[sweetness47]

Ghosts of Memories

 Pairing Clint Barton x reader

A/N: this is for #MAMTWritingchallenge hosted by @marvelatmytrash (I haven’t decided whether or not to make it a series yet. I will see where this one goes.) feedback is always welcome, as is reblogging.

“You have no idea who I am do you?” paired with calming someone down after a nightmare.

Warnings: Fluff, maybe, language, violence, memory loss, lost love, nightmares, trauma…basically if you’re under 18, don’t read this!

Summary: You are a SHIELD agent, one of the top elite. Not only do you kick ass with weapons and without, you can also control elements ie. Earth, fire, wind, water, electrical current and light. You can’t remember anything past 6 years ago, due to a terrible accident, or so you’ve been told. Doctors say your memories may never come back. So what happens when they do start to return?

Six years ago:

“I’m just going to the store to get eggs and milk, then pick up a deluxe pizza on my way home.” Y/N shouted down the basement stairs to her hubby. Clint peeked around the corner and looked up at her with his best puppy dog eyes. She caved and sighed. “Alright, ham and pineapple, and a 6-pack of Bud Light, but only because I love you and because it’s your birthday.”

Clint ran up the stairs and wrapped Y/N in his arms, and giving her a short, intimate kiss, promising some fun later. She threw her arms around his neck, moaning into his kiss. “Thanks honey. You are really the best, you know that? You kick ass, save the world, and you’re mine.” he whispered in her ear.

She smiled, “Of course I know Clint, and I’m lucky to have you too.” She said, winking at him and kissing him on the nose. “Who else could I get to fix the toilet, help me save the world, and kill all the spiders for me. You’re indispensable.” Y/N giggled as Clint reached for her sides, especially that ticklish spot by her ribcage. She squealed and tried to tickle him back, but he backed her against the wall. “Ok, ok. I give.” He was laughing as hard as she was as they kissed then, both breathless and both exceedingly happy.

As she got in the car, she remembered his reaction that morning as she presented his birthday present, neatly wrapped with an iridescent bow and matching ribbon. As he opened it, and realization set in, a huge grin appeared on his face, and in an instant he was swinging her around, showering her with hugs and kisses, the framed ultrasound picture still in his hand. She was about ten weeks according to the tests, and everything looked exactly the way it should, no abnormalities. It was too soon to know the gender, but she didn’t care. They were pregnant.

She listened to radio as she drove, weather reports and warnings were filling every station she tuned in to. Then she hit a winter onslaught. The sky darkened, and in the blink of an eye a torrential downpour of ice and snow suddenly clouded her vision. As she tried to use her power to lessen the storm’s intensity, another car lost traction on the icy street, and rammed into Y/N’s SUV. The force of the impact caused her car to break through the barrier of the bridge, and plummet head first into the frigid waters below. Blackness and water were everywhere, Y/N tried to move the water and get the car out, but there was too much ice. Instead of moving the car out, the ice pushed it down to the bottom. Her cracked windshield began leaking, the cold beginning to seep in, and without any access to wind, she couldn’t get out.

Desperate to free herself from her seemingly inescapable prison, she used light to melt what remained of the window, bracing herself for the onslaught of arctic liquid that would come at her. It wasn’t enough, the pressure slammed into her, knocking breath from her lungs, not letting her get air before enveloping her. Y/N tried to focus as she swam out the window toward the surface. Finding a small opening still in the layer of ice that covered the river, she came up for air, trying to grab the top of the ice. She could hear people yelling, but was too cold to say anything. Then before she could make the water warmer and get herself to shore, she was pulled under by the current, her head striking the jagged edge of the ice, and her world went black.

Present day:

Y/N stared at the transfer notice in her hand. Why on earth, especially since she really liked her current posting in Ireland, would she all of a sudden need to go to New York. Fuck this shit. Her head began to pound, and she absently grabbed a bottle from her pocket, popped two white T-3’s and went back to cleaning out her room. There was some small part of her that wishes she was normal, with a normal job, maybe a normal family. But noooo, she was a government assassin, and an inhuman, which made her a valuable commodity, and apparently needed in New York. She looked out her window, thinking how much she was going to miss all the lush green countryside and the peaceful walks amongst that greenery.

New York, where the aliens had attacked some time before, and the Avengers initiative was enacted. She knew who Nick Fury was, especially since he was the first person she had seen when she’d awoken from her coma. They had met on numerous occasions since, and each time he had attempted to recruit her to help with the Avengers. But she had declined each time, not wanting to leave Europe. She wasn’t European by birth, but she’d grown to love it here since being re-assigned after her accident, the one where she lost a lot of her life, her memories gone, locked away in the deep recesses of her mind. Doctors said the memories could come back at some point, or they may never return. What was worse, SHIELD files had been erased of her life before. It was almost as if they were hiding something from her, either for mental health reasons, or simply because they liked her better now. And no one ‘knew’ anything, or so they said, even Fury, stating that maybe she shouldn’t keep digging. She had tried social media, phone records, DMV records, anything, and they all came up blank. It was as if she’d never existed before, and it nagged at her conscience.

She was soon packed and on board the small plane that would take her across the ocean. Agent Phil Coulson met her at the airstrip when she landed, to escort her to their base. “Welcome here Y/N.” He extended his hand and she took it happily. Phil was something of a legend amongst the elite agents, having been the force behind putting together the A-team as she liked to call them. And truth be told, she was anxious to meet them, having been a fan for a while now. Natasha Romanova was kind of a role model, even though the age difference was only 2 years, she was everything Y/N aspired to be. There were times she imagined sparing with Widow, just to see who could best who first, though she suspected for as good as she was, Natasha was better, having trained from a young age.

When they finally arrived at the ‘secret’ base, she was shown to her quarters, where she set to work unpacking and changing out of her travel clothes. Making sure her identification was properly displayed, she took herself on a self-guided tour of the facility. It was actually pretty nice digs, and pretty big, much bigger than the Irish base. Not watching in front of her, because she was busy looking around, she walked into a brick wall, which actually wasn’t a wall at all. Thor had been walking back from the cafeteria with some java for the road, when Y/N bumped into him, causing hot liquid to erupt from the cup, and spill all over both parties.

Y/N immediately apologized. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. Are you hurt? Let me help.” And bent down to retrieve pieces of broken pottery that was the cup.

Thor smiled warmly. “No harm done. There is always more coffee to be had. Are you new here?” he asked, seeing your name badge.

Her cheeks turned a deep shade of crimson. “That obvious huh. Yeah, just transferred in from Ireland. I’m Y/N. You must be Thor.” She stated casually, gesturing at his armor and cape, and of course that infamous hammer. Mjolnir was the most fascinating weapon she’d ever seen. Y/N pointed to the beautiful but deadly item in his hand. “I know I can’t pick it up, but can I…well…touch it? Sorry, that sounded weird. It’s just a really awesome hammer.” She blushed more, realizing how stupid that sounded.

Thor chuckled. “Not at all my lady. By all means, feel free to gaze upon the power of the mighty Mjolnir. However I must warn you, it does tend to shock those who touch it, except me of course.”

Y/N raised a brow, now completely thrilled. She reached out her hand and ran it across the Asgardian symbols and craftmanship, and did indeed get a shock. But rather than sting, it seemed to blend into her skin and ignite her own power. Soon her body and Mjolnir were sharing electrical current, the hammer increasing the strength of Y/N’s energy output. Thor watched the interaction, completely taken aback with what was transpiring in front of him. Never in his lifetime had anyone been able to create that kind of power with his hammer except for himself. Now his curiosity was peaked, and he offered Y/N the weapon to hold. Frowning but not unwilling to try, she accepted the gift, and both were genuinely shocked when the hammer allowed her to hold it.

Some of the nearby agents had stopped to witness this event, including Fury and Coulson, and a wide range of expressions filled their faces, from shock, to amazement, to genuine wow. Y/N handed the hammer back to Thor when she saw the attention she had attracted. Excusing herself, she made her way over to Nick Fury and extended her hand. “Sir, good to see you again.” You said with respect, and perhaps a touch of affection. Fury was like the older brother, always protecting her and covering her ass when she dug into files she shouldn’t.

Fury accepted the gesture and returned the handshake. “Y/N. Haven’t changed a bit I see. Still manage to find new and interesting ways to make yourself known.”

Y/N smiled. “Yes sir! Now, on with the tour!” She gave a mock salute, earning a smirk from Coulson and a glare from Fury. He didn’t scold her, but she did make herself scarce, as the tour wasn’t quite done yet anyways.

She had been briefed on the plane with regards to the nature of her re-assignment. Power, they needed whatever they could get, and Y/N’s power was amongst the best in the entire SHIELD world. Talks of aliens and impending doom were everywhere. But the agency seemed especially worried. Whatever. Steady paychecks helped with the negotiations, landing herself a nice raise and bonus incentive. She could only hope that her ‘headaches’ and ‘nightmares’ didn’t interfere with her work. It wasn’t bad now, not like it was when she’d first awaken, but it still happened on occasion. It was like a never-ending cycle of torment, flashes of near death, a storm, drowning. But she could never move past those images. She would wake in cold sweats, shaking, screaming, only to realize she was alone and in no present danger. Only once did the flashbacks happen during a mission, luckily it was Fury and Hill that accompanied her for it, and neither were hurt in the process.

Fury did advise her to see a counsellor after, and she did. But the talks, while they did help some, were only that, talk. Nothing could be done to bring back the rest of the memories. It was just plain annoying sometimes. And times like this, when she was this pissed, were the times where she found exercise to be a good stress reliever. So she made her way around the base until she came across the training room, where she found Nat taking on Steve Rogers. Amused, she stood by the door and watched. Where Steve was fast and strong, Widow was small and agile, both were quick and equally deadly in their own right. Just as Y/N sat down, Steve caught movement out of the corner of his eye and Nat flipped him, taking him out for the count.

Steve got up as you walked over to apologize. “I’m sorry. I distracted you. Good match though.” You remarked.

Nat came over to join. “It wasn’t bad. Don’t apologize though. Distraction can’t be used as an excuse.” Then she looked over at Y/N. “Do you want to go a round?” she asked quizzically.

You raised a brow. “Sure. I’m Y/N. I just transferred in from Ireland.” You shook hands with Steve and with Nat.

“Nice to meet you Y/N.” Nat smiled. “Do you need to change?”

“Nope. I’m good.”

Nat motioned Y/N over to the mat. A few people stopped to watch, including Steve. Y/N put her hands up. “I won’t use my abilities. This will just be hand to hand.” She promised.

It was Nat’s turn to be surprised. “Abilities? You’re inhuman?” Y/N nodded. “That’s where I heard your name from.” She shrugged. “I’m ready whenever you are.”

Nat took her fight stance, as did Y/N. For what seemed like an eternity neither moved, studying the other, watching like a lion stalking prey. Then Nat lunged, her body diving to sweep Y/N’s feet from under her. But she dodged, anticipating Widow’s tactics, and made a beeline for her arm to disable her. She countered, throwing a kick at Y/N’s arm, which was deflected, and coming around with a backhand to attack. Ducking, Y/N landed a small punch in her midsection. Nat quickly brought her knee up, catching Y/N’s chin, causing her to bite her lip. Y/N recovered quick, bringing her leg sweeping low in a circle, and connected with Nat’s ankle. She fell back, but was back on her feet quickly.

Back and forth they went, minutes ticking by, people beginning to cheer and wager on who would actually win. Without using her power, she was pretty evenly matched with her idol. For a while it seemed as though no one would ever win. Then someone else stopped to watch the fight. Someone who went white upon seeing who his friend was fighting. He pushed through the crowds to get a front row seat, unable to believe what he was seeing. “Y/N?” he whispered.

Y/N looked up at the mention of her name, and Nat got the upper hand, setting Y/N up and taking her down with that head-scissor lock flip. Gasping for air, Y/N looked for the owner of the voice that had cost her the match. Then leaning over her, offering a hand up, was a handsome, blue-eyed man that looked like he’d seen a ghost. Only he was staring at her, not a ghost. He kept her hand in his, almost afraid to let go.

Y/N tried to remove her hand, but he held firm, as if she would disappear if he let go. “Y/N. What the hell? I…it’s been 6 years. Where have you been? Why didn’t you come back if you weren’t dead? I don’t understand…” his voice trailed off as he studied Y/N’s confused look. Realization dawned on him then, and he let her hand go. “You have no idea who I am, do you?”

Y/N bit her lip, taking a step back as she shook her head. “No, sorry. Ummm…” Her head began jackhammering in her skull, and she ran, needing to get away from him, from everyone, just needing to be alone.

It was Nick who came knocking on her door. She let him in, only because she knew he wouldn’t go away. He motioned to sit, and Y/N nodded. The flashbacks began adding images, of a man with light brown hair, blue eyes. Holding her, making love to her, kissing her. Not even the T3’s were helping now. With tears streaming down her face, she looked into the eyes of the man she had learned to trust, the man who she was pretty sure had been partially lying to her all these years.

“I want the truth Nick, and I want it now.” Y/N wiped away a tear and glared at the man in front of her. “Who in the hell is that man and why did he act like he knew me?”

Nick sighed. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a USB and threw it on the bed beside her. She looked at it, then back at Nick. Anger slowly seeped through her usually calm façade, and he held his hands up as a peace offering. “These are the files you’ve been searching for all these years. Your life before the accident, your original posting, and everything else you tried to find. That man in the gym, Agent Barton, was your husband of 5 years, and your childhood friend, your high school sweetheart, and your first love. The day of your accident, it was his birthday. Your gift to him was an ultrasound picture of the 10-week-old fetus you carried. A violent storm swept into the area when you were driving to the store, your car was run off the road and into the icy river. You nearly drown. You went into a hyperthermia-induced coma. Your abilities are quite powerful, but ice doesn’t like you. You couldn’t save yourself fast enough. You lost the baby. The memory loss was from a concussion suffered when your head found the edge of a sharp jagged ice chunk. You know the rest of this past 6 years. Everything else is on there.” He gestured to the piece of tech, and got up to leave.

Y/N just stared at the wall, barely acknowledging Nick’s exit. For two hours she just sat there, trying to process everything she’d just heard. Her skull felt like a basketball pounding on pavement. She couldn’t keep her eyes open as the world started spinning. Her body hit the mattress, feeling like lead. Her mind flashed images, dark water, sleet, ice, cold water rushing at her, the current pulling her under the ice, her chest hurting from lack of oxygen, panic. She tried to scream but the water muffled the sound. She flailed, clawing at the ice, needing the air, needing to live. Suddenly arms were holding her, shaking her, a warm male voice was calling her name.

Clint had been walking slowly toward her room, trying to figure out how to talk to her. Then her screams broke through his thoughts and he tore down the hallway, opening her door in less than 3 seconds. She was choking, her breath ragged, like she couldn’t get any air. She was panicking. She was having a nightmare. He sat on the bed and gathered her into his arms, and held her, stroking her hair, whispering soothing words.

She opened her eyes to the man who was a stranger to her, but not a stranger. She nestled into his embrace and cried.

@legion1993 @marvelatmytrash

#MAMTWritingChallenge #marvel #hawkeye #clint barton #clint barton x reader #Avengers

[shootingstarbeagen]

NOTE: I’m sorry that I’m having to link out to my AO3, but I’m uploading this from my ipad because my new laptop is dead, and the tumblr app is not letting me upload more than 1000 characters in a text post. UGH! I’m sorry again, I will try to post it to tumblr, but the work on AO3 is open for anyone to view.

Well, here’s the first part of my Steve Rogers/ OFC fic, for @1fellswoop @marvelatmytrash for the MARVEL At My Trash Writing Challenge!

The cliche I chose was “Confined space for multiple days.”

I hope everyone likes it. It’s very short, just 4600 words, I had hoped to finish it today, (I do have most of part 2 finished) but my toddler has refused to nap the whole week, and my brand new laptop that my hubby gifted me for Christmas decided to suddenly and without a warning die on me. So I’m typing on my phone or ipad, which is truly a challenge! XD Anyway, enjoy!

Title: Confined Space

Pairing: Steve Rogers/OFC

Setting: AU after Civil War. Steve leaves and becomes a mercenary.

Rating: MA Sex. Violence. Language. (Not in that order. XD)

Notes: This is part of the Marvel At My Trash Writing Challenge by @1fellswoop @MarvelAtMyTrash. Thank you for allowing me to participate. I hope you enjoy it!Summary: The mission was supposed to have been easy. A simple extraction and recovery job. In retrospect, I should have known that the mission was bound to be a high risk, considering Steve Rogers had been assigned as my partner. Still, we had been left overwhelmed and rattled, when the mission took an unexpected turn.

Link: AO3

#MAMTWritingChallenge #fanfiction #fanfic #steve rogers #captain america #marvel #ca civil war #au #ofc #steve rogers ofc #steverogers/ofc

[hiswhiteknight]

Best Friends Turned Foes - Part 2

Summary: Reader is an up and comer with the Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D. The Reader’s relationship (lack thereof) with the one and only Bucky Barnes starts to become a problem, especially considering they’re usually moments from killing each other. They used to be best friends, but something in the past broke the bond. Y/N and Barnes bickering is now becoming too much, so Captain and Tony take it upon themselves to fix it by forcing them to work together.

This is a slow chapter, it should start getting interesting next few parts. Thank you so much to everyone that’s been interested in this story. I want to start doing requests, so just message me if you are interested.

I’m new at taglists, requests, and such - so please bare with me. 

Again, this is a mini series for @marvelatmytrash  #MAMTWritingChallenge. I’m not sure how many parts there will be. Hope you like this part.  I don’t own characters and not my gif.

PART 1

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Words: 1300

Warning: Angst, potential cursing

You walked into the meeting room, sitting down at the table, furthest from the head of it. You blended in with the other agents, who didn’t give you any attention because they sat in a room full of Avengers, not all of them, but a lot. You preferred the attention being on them anyway. It was more than obvious the Avenger’s attention was on you. They didn’t like you trying to blend it, you were an Avenger just like them.

“Alright,” Tony stands, pacing around the room, “Everyone in this room knows I’m the best,” a chuckle erupts through the crowd. “But Cap here,” he placed his heavy hand on Steve’s shoulder, “Feels competition and growth is important for the best interest of the team. So every year, we have this silly competition to see who is the best. Well, it’s that time again folks. You’ll all getting paired up, placed on a few jets, flying out to the middle of nowhere and,” he paused for dramatics, looking around the room, “Kicking the snot out of each other in the claim of dominance and power – like The Hunger Games. Welcome to war games, kids!”

Captain stood up quickly, “I’ll take it from here Tony,” he smirked towards his friend and colleague. “This training exercise is about comradery, executing and growing skills, and letting off some playful steam. It’s about having a good time, not kicking the snot out of each other.”

A glow shimmered around the room, everyone loved this exercise. They took it very seriously because the winner’s get this vacation prize and money, plus huge bragging rights. It was like being crowned royalty for the next year. And usually there is no mercy. Tony grabbed everyone’s attention again, “So let’s start pairing off, but before you all moan over your pairing F.R.I.D.A.Y strategically placed people together for the best benefit of everyone, equally – so in a nutshell, I don’t care.”

Tony and Cap yelled out pairings. The last time you got to do this type of war game was your first year of recruitment. You didn’t win, but you sure got close. And this was the first year they were doing pairs, instead of individuals. The games are close to actual combat, but with Stark’s technology and money we could do it safely and with some humor. You’d be lying if you said weren’t excited about this, you were starting to be seen as a lead agent; this could be your real way to show them you have made it. You are not some little girl or rookie, you could train the best to be the best. Suddenly you heard your name being called, “Y/L/N and Barnes,” the room filled with tension.

Your whole body went numb besides the burning sensation of your face. Everything was put into slow motion and you were able to process what was just said. Wanda and Natasha made eye contact, you grinded your teeth, “I’m sorry,” you said, “What?”

Bucky was surprisingly quiet, Tony looked up, “Did I stutter,” he countered back to you, “Next,” he continued.

“Pause,” you stood up, pointing at him like you held a remote, “Rewind, repeat,” you instructed.

“You know, not that I think is this the time to confirm this, but you really are as freakish as everyone says. I like it and all, but now zip it and sit,” he pointed at you. You continued to stare, “Now.”

You grinded your teeth more not listening at first, “Y/L/N,” Cap caught your attention, “Any complaints are null, please take a seat,” he said softly with a stern undertone.

Nodding your head, you take a seat, continuing to let the steam roll poured from your ears. As soon as the meeting ended, Captain called out after you. It was completely obvious you were boiling pissed about this war game. And though you followed orders pretty well and you respected Cap more than anyone else – you ignored his calls.

Most people at this point would be strategizing with this partners before heading to the pre-game party where everyone would bond, smack talk, relieve some steam through alcohol, and call it a night. Tomorrow everyone would be shipped out to this secret location and two days later the games begin.

At this point, you’d rather not participate and lose instead of speaking to the Winter Soldier. So instead you went straight to the gym to ‘work out’ your aggravation, “If you hit that thing any harder, we might have to start calling you Captain, Y/N,” Natasha says from behind you.

Ignoring them, you continue to hit the bag, “You should feel lucky, Bucky is one of the best Avengers – it’s almost unfair you both being paired up,” Wanda continues.

“You should know people are placing bets about the pair of you,” Clint yells from across the mat, “Mine’s on you, babe.”

You continued your foot work, not looking to stop and talk to people. This was supposed to be a coping strategy, “That’s too bad that no one is going to get money because I’m not doing it. I forfeit my position and I’ll take pride in losing.”

Nat looks back at you, “Y/N, you have to participate. This could jeopardize your position among the organization. You have to take this seriously.” That statement caused you to pause and look at the trio, “You have a perfect record. Everyone looks at this like a game, but it’s an exercise as well. This could ruin you.”

“You are tougher than this,” Clint continued.

Wanda stepped in, “Aren’t you the one that says, get comfortable being uncomfortable,” she quoted a phrase you live by, “We know you are not a quitter. You got to believe in yourself, you are an exceptional person. Don’t waste it.”

“I,” you punched with everyone word, “Won’t. Be. The. Problem,” you finished, turning to them, “Y’all want me to keep close quarters with my nemesis and call it a training win.”

“Think of it as a challenge, we had to work with Loki, and it made us stronger,” Wanda continued to try to uplift you.

Clint hummed, “Aaa,” he suggested that he might not agree, but cut it as soon as Nat gave him a deadly look.

You looked down at your gloves, you hated letting people down, and not pushing yourself to be the best, “Fine, I’m only doing it to show under all circumstances I can kick anyone’s ass.”

“That’s my cocky girl,” Clint yelled again, “Get it.”

“Barton,” you yelled, trying not to laugh, “I can’t continue to be angry, when you are acting like one of the girls.”

“I can’t stop the charm,” he grins.

“Y/N,” Barnes yells across the gym, “Come here.”

You slowly turned towards him, cocking your head to look at him in annoyance. He did not just command you to come to him like you were a dog or something. Your hesitation caused him to shove up his hands in annoyance. You straightened up, lifted your eyebrows, and flipped him the finger before storming off to the locker room.

“Y/N,” he yelled after you, not moving from his place.

Wanda, Clint, and Nat watched the exchange with amusement and shock, “And so it begins,” Nat whispered.

Bucky storms off in the opposite direction, potentially trying to head off your escape to your room, “My money is still on Y/N,” Clint says, “Though I’m investing most of my money on them hooking up.” Nat and Wanda shake their heads starting to walk off, “If you don’t feel that sexual tension, you’re dead inside,” he continued after them.

Part 3

Taglist: @mia-at-work @loki-bxrnes @salty-buchanan @three17am. 

#Bucky Barnes #bucky imagine #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #mini series #angst marvel #angst #hiswhiteknight #Avengers

[justreadingfics]

Too Long

 Pairing: Steve Rogers X Reader

Summary: Steve acknowledges his true feelings for you. Is it too late?

Word Count: 3.3k+

Warnings: angst, swearing.

 A/N: Ok, my first time. My first Steve. It was so much harder to write for him than it is for Bucky, but now I think I have a new love. This is my submission to @marvelatmytrash writing challenge. Congrats on your milestone, you’re truly amazing! I chose the cliché: 54) “Confession of love comes out in an argument” and the prompt: 38) “You made your choice… And I made mine… just because you can’t live with yours doesn’t mean you get to change mine.” I hope you guys like this! And thank you @lesqui, you’re forever stuck with me, you know that, right?

Part 2

Masterlist.

 The strong liquor burns its way down his throat.

Bless Thor and his outer space delicacies; the only way Steve could try and bring some sort of numbness to his mind once in a while. All he wants in the moment is to detach his thoughts from the painful sight he has just witnessed.

As he stares down the amber liquor, the sounds of cheerfulness coming from the lounge are muffled by the kitchen’s door. He wishes the offending noises could vanish and leave him fucking alone.

He sighs, propping his elbows on the table, and takes another sip. You looked so happy. A genuine grin curled your beautiful lips up just a few minutes ago, before he snuck his way out of the room to where he stands now, drinking his brains out, trying to forget all about the scene, failing so marvelously on the particular mission. He never thought there would come the day when a smile of yours would cause him so much pain.

Yes. You said yes. A man who wasn’t him on his knees, asking you the question he should be asking, hearing the beautiful word slipping so easily out of your lips for him. Yes. Such a simple word, turning his whole universe upside down. He has lost you for good.

He pours another glass of the exceptional liquor, the fancy decanter banging against the table as he roughly places it back there. Is this the third, fourth glass? Who cares? He won´t stop. Not when you’re still on his mind.

Flashes of you twirled inside his growing dizzy mind. Your wet bare skin against his, the sound of your breathless laugh as he tickled you between his sheets, the warmth of your hand holding his during Peggy’s funeral, the softness of your arms around him when he discovered Bucky was alive, the smile on your lips and the misery in your eyes when he rejected your love confession…   

He had his shot. He did. Years ago. You had what you called a “friends with benefits” deal. A sad smirk twists his lips at the memory of you explaining how the relationship would work, all the ground rules you’d set, just so you would break all of them, one by one. You did cuddle, you did spend the night, you did get jealous, you did develop feelings... He remembers how you wrapped your hands around yourself to hide the trembling in them, even when your firm voice expressed nothing but resolve in your confession. He remembers how tight he felt his chest immediately after telling you he didn’t feel the same way and you should be just friends. No benefits. Nothing else. You smiled at him, and kissed him on the cheek, before forcing a steady pace to leave his bedroom. And just friends you were ever since. At least this is what he’s been telling himself.

He sees it all clearly now. There was always some sort of excuse for him to push aside the way he really felt for you. His job, the guilt of developing feelings for you while Peggy was still alive, Bucky showing up and becoming his number one priority, the Accords and the Avengers falling out...

The fact is, as stupid as it sounds to him now, he wasn’t ready to love you. He wasn’t ready to be loved by you. He knew you would give yourself solely to him and he wasn’t sure he was able to provide you the same surrender. Stupid jerk.

He doesn’t lift his head from his almost empty glass when the joyful voices and the music from the lounge become louder for a second, before getting muffled again.

“Steve?” His heart races. There has always been something in the way you say his name which instigates a fuzz inside his chest. He gulps the rest of his drink, his eyes shut and he hisses at the bittersweet taste.

“Hey,” your sweet  voice sounds closer and he looks up to see you had walked to him, standing right in front of where he sat, a crease between your eyebrows as you eyed the decanter on the table. All he wants right now is to run his finger against the adorable line and feel the beautiful traces of your face, “What are you doing here alone?” You look back at him, shaking your head and making a confused grimace.

“Nice ring,” Steve mumbles, ignoring your question, his eyes resting on the new jewel adorning your finger.

“Oh…yeah, it’s something, right? You know Tom, he likes this kind of fancy stuff…” A dismissive soft laugh comes out of your lips.

Focusing on the sparkle in your eyes and the tender way you speak about your now fiancé, Steve misses how you’ve unconsciously covered the shiny rock with your other hand.  

“Come on,” you say, a little unnerved under his quiet and unreadable stare. You always knew how to read Steve, even if the outcome wasn’t always pleasing to you, but tonight it feels like he is slipping through your fingers, “I came to pick up the cake, it's white chocolate and strawberries, I know you love it.”

His gaze follows you as you turn to the fridge, opening the door. Of course you know his favorite cake’s flavor. You know just about everything there´s to know about him.

“I bet Wanda is gonna love it, too.” You talk from behind the opened fridge’s door. Your voice is back to being laced with an uncontainable joy and he hates how miserable it makes him feel, because he knows the reason of your good mood.

“Oh, wow, so you do remember what’s the real celebration here tonight,” he scoffs audibly, his bitter tone matching the way he feels inside as he harshly put the glass back on the table.

Even if he doesn’t see you entirely, he knows you froze at his words. He ignores the pang in his chest as you slowly close the door and look at him, no cake in your hands. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Your lips are tight in a thin line as you stare impassively at him.

He already regrets this whole interaction. He does. But there are few times Steve Rogers loses control of himself and this is definitely one of those times. The tourbillion of feelings in chest, not all of them honorable, and the little, yet effective, influence of the liquor seem to be in control of his actions and words tonight.

“You know exactly what it means.” He gets up, moving to pass by you, only to be stopped by you stepping in front of him. He raises his chin up, folding his arms in front of his chest.

“Actually, I don’t. Please enlighten me.” You mirror his defiance posture, but your tone remains disconcertingly calm, even with you expression and your whole stiffened posture exposing the increasing tension on your body.

His jaw clenches before he continues “Do you know how long has it been since Wanda last celebrated her birthday? And the first time she feels at ease and excited about it, you and your boy toy had to go and steal all the attention with that little stunt.” He waves his hand on the direction of the door.

You blink, unfolding your arms, and averting your gaze down, seeming lost for a second before raising livid eyes at him, “What the hell, Steve? You know damn well this wasn’t the intention, Tom just-”

“Wanted to be the center of attention, like he always does. Now, if you excuse me-” You stop him from leaving once again, holding a grip on his elbow. The touch of your hands is a flame burning on his skin. He misses you so damn much.

“I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with you,” You say through your teeth, so close from his face he can feel your hot breath covering his cheeks. His heart pounds against his chest as, despite the evident hurt and anger on your voice, your eyes convey the care and gentleness they always held for him. “But this isn’t you and whatever it is going on, it doesn’t excuse you from being a jackass, so, you wanna tell me what it is now, or tomorrow, when you feel like shit?”      

He sighs, shaking his head. He really doesn't want to fight with you. The anger consuming him isn’t directed at you, but at himself, “It’s just… I-I,” he stutters, trying to choose words that wouldn’t ruin everything, but finding none. What could he tell you now without lying? Without changing everything between you two? He couldn’t bear the idea of the likely consequences of telling you the truth, your rejection, tainting such an important night for you or worse, making you suffer, more than he knows he already did. “I’m sorry,” is all he can mumble, avoiding your unyielding gaze.  

“Not happening,” the grip on his elbow gets firmer, “Fucking tell me right now, Rogers, what the hell is happening? Why are you here drinking by yourself and being such an asshole?”  

“God, you’re so infuriating,” he snaps out of your grasp, not noticing the way you flinch, but keeps glaring defiantly at him as you let your arms fall to the side.

He runs a hand over his face to his hair, before continuing, exasperation all over his hand’s gestures, “You’re always meddling with other people’s business. With my business. You’re so full of yourself, like you know everything, like you can help everyone. Guess what? You fucking can’t!” Unable to look at your pained expression he turns his back to you and drops his body on the closes chair, burying his hands in his hair as he props his elbows on his legs.

“Steve…” you whisper, tentatively placing your hand on his back. The gentle touch, despite his previous harshness, and the sound of his name on your broken voice are overwhelming, like his love for you would combust from inside out and it’s impossible to hold it back any longer.

He can’t help the tears welling up in his eyes as he gets up and grab your hand in both of his. Your eyes widen at the desperation twisting his face.

“You have no idea what you do to me, do you?” His tone is still tie up with austerity, but there’s also a mix of emotions you wouldn’t dare to acknowledge as his eyes are frantically scanning every corner of your face. “Huh?” He makes you gasp as he drags you closer and pulls your hand to his chest, his heart hammering against it.

Looking down to where he holds your hand, you jerk your arm, trying to pull out from his grip, to no avail, “Steve, what-“

“I love you.”

All your movements stall and your gaze meets his.

“I love you,” he repeats, “I love you so damn much. You walk in the room and steal all the air from my lungs, you make me breathless, you touch me and I feel myself burn, you make thirsty,” his words mingle with his panting and he licks his lips, “and then you smile…” he allows one for himself for a brief moment before continuing, “and it makes me calm and hopeful, happy, worthy.” His hand is squeezing yours desperately as you keep looking at him, an unreadable expression on your face, “You make me selfish, you make me greedy- Y/N, baby,” His other hand cups your cheek, “I’m so damn greedy for you. You’re everything I want and I want everything with you. I love you.”    

He feels like he’s heart is about to explode, but at the same time is like the world has left his shoulders after a long time of lodged there. He loves you and he won’t deny it anymore, not to you, not to him, or to anyone.  

“Please say something,” he murmurs, after what feels like an eternity. You hadn’t said anything, you hadn’t even moved after he started talking. You just stood there, staring at him. Until your lips start trembling.    

“Yes, you are,” you finally whisper.

“What?” Steve asks, stroking your cheek with his thumb as his forehead creases.

“Selfish,” you say through clenched jaw, swatting his hand away from your face and pushing him on his shoulder, “You’re so fucking selfish, Steve Rogers. Who gave you the goddamn right?” You push him again with all your strength and he lets himself stumble backwards, releasing your hand he was holding against his chest.

He knows you don’t have it in you to care about the hurt surely crossing his face, not this time. You had never looked at him the way you look now, with such anger, frustration, disappointment. And he never felt more lost in his life.

“Sweetheart, please…” he steps forward.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” you extend a hand, stopping him midway, the furry in your eyes burning against his, “I’m not your sweetheart, never have been. You were always pretty clear about it.” The statement and the laugh which follows, devoid of any kind of amusement, makes him visibly wince.  

You shake your head and continue, “I can’t believe you, Steve. Tonight, after all the nights you and I have spent together, after the nights I’ve spent awake watching you sleep, comforting you when the tiniest flinch told me you were having a nightmare, after the night I told you I loved you and you said you didn’t want me,” your voice cracks and Steve fights the urge of holding in his arms and never let go.  “Tonight is the night you decide everything and everyone don’t come first and you fucking love me and feel like you have the right to tell me so?”

Steve takes a shuddering breath, hating to acknowledge that, despite the more evident anger, you are truly in pain, and it is because of him. His unfairness, his stupidity, his cowardice…

“Y/N, please…” He steps closer.

You step back.

“No.” you point an accusing finger at him, “When the man who loves me enough to ask me to spend the rest of our lives with him in front of everybody and is right on the next room, is the night you find out you love me?”

Not standing the hurt and deception in your eyes, Steve looks away, taking a deep sigh. “I know I hurt you and I’ll never forgive myself for that, but I do love you, Y/N, I just can’t hold it back anymore-”

You sneer loudly and now you’re the one who steps closer to him, which makes him stop talking and look down at you.  “If you really loved me,” you say, tilting your head, “You wouldn’t taint the memory of this night for me, which is exactly what you’re doing. No, you don’t love me, you’re just scared you’re losing your little pet for good. What do you expect me to say? To do? Huh?”   

“Don’t marry him.” Steve bursts out when an unexpected confidence swells in his guts.

“What?” Disbelief etches in your voice and widened eyes.

“Please don’t marry him.” The words were snagging the back of his throat ever since you said yes to another man, and now he can’t refrain from voicing them anymore. His hands fly to each side of your face and his confidence grows bigger when you don’t push him away, staring back at him. “Please don’t marry him, I love you.” He pours all the feelings consuming him inside on the plead.  

“I hate you,” you breathe out. Deep anger sweeps into your voice and his chest heaves when he takes a deep sigh in, “I hate you,” you hit him in the chest with the side of your balled fists.

He doesn’t budge and takes one more step closer, relishing on the comforting scent of your perfume reaching his nostrils, “Don’t do it, I love you,”

“I hate you, fuck you. I hate you, Steve Rogers,” you desperately repeat as tears start to run down freely over your cheeks. It seems to make you even angrier and you start hitting him again and again.

You fight against his hold when he grabs both your hands in his. He brings your palms to his lips, laying lingering kisses on each of them before placing them over his cheeks. “I love you, so much, Y/N.”   

“Stop saying that. Stop.” You sob, not pulling back when he leans against your touch. You don’t notice when you take a step closer and you can’t say you’re sure how it happens, but his forehead is resting against yours and his hands are gently cupping your neck. “I hate you.” A barely whisper slips out of your breathless lungs and your fingers cling on his beard.   

A faint smile crosses Steve’s lips, “I know, my love. It’s ok. I love you. I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be here.” It doesn’t go unnoticed by him how the stiffness in your every muscle seems to ease down a little and you don’t fight his touch any longer. Your eyes are close and you just breathe peacefully.

“Steve…” you whimper and your parted lips are so close to his, all he has to do is to move one inch closer and he would feel you again. Your taste, your sweetness, your love.

Just one inch closer.

“Hey, Y/N, where the hell is the-?” Bucky’s voice breaks the spell and with one swift move you’re out of Steve’s hold and running to throw yourself on Bucky.

He lets the door close behind him to hold you back promptly. He sees a just as distressed Steve from over your shoulder, whose eyes are glued on your back, ignoring the quizzical stare from Bucky.

“Hey…what’s wrong, doll?” Bucky asks at the same time Steve calls for your name and walks on your direction, stopping on his toes at a headshake from his best friend, who eyes him suspiciously, now.

You unwrap your arms from Bucky, but he keeps a protective hand behind your back as you swipe the tears from your face,“I-I’m sorry, Buck, but I don’t feel so good. I guess I’m gonna call Tom and head home now, would you please take the cake to Wanda and say I’m sorry and I wish her all the happiness in the world?” You talk in a rush and force a smile to which Bucky nods, understanding what you need in this moment is to get out of there as soon as possible.

“Y/N, please…” Steve ignores Bucky’s warning expression and walks to you.

“Steve,” you turn to face him, raising a stopping hand to keep him from coming any closer. You take a deep breath and lace your voice with determination “You made your choice…And I made mine…just because you can’t live with yours doesn’t mean you get to change mine.”

The words, deprived of any traces of uncertainty, weigh on his chest and his heart falls along with his whole world. There’s a knife cutting through his ribcage, but he doesn’t try to stop you when you leave the kitchen. When you leave him.

He lost this battle. He lost you. But the the worst is he hurt you. The least he can do do is to entitle you the right of making your own choice. He owes you this much. Even if your choice isn’t him. His broken heart is on him, no one else is to blame.     

“What’ve you done, punk?” Bucky asks, not with anger, not with suspicion, but with regret and concern for his best friend, who seems hypnotized by the closed door before him.      

Steve knows his expression must carry the deep sadness he’s feeling when Bucky places a kind hand over his shoulder as Steve turns to him. He takes a long quivering breath before gathering all the strength he could to voice the shattering, but simple truth:

“I’ve waited too long, pal.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The End.

A/N 2: yeah, not a happy ending! If you know me, you also know this is killing me inside, so a part 2 might be on its way, let me know what you think!

Part 2

Perm. Tags: ( There’s a lot not working his time, I don’t know what happened)

@mytasterpeculiar @mar-gega  @cuddlysteven @melconnor2007 @iamwarrenspeace @kaaatniss @kissmyjasdaddy  @adaliamalfoy @roselock20 @curlycals @capbuckthor @lilasiannerd @ria132love @alwayshave-faith @camillechan @strange-intricate-dysfunction @cassandras-musings  @random-fluffy-pink-unicorn @captain-chimichanga @tilltheendwilliwrite @super-complicated @50shadesofyes @cokamarie24 @jayzayy @hollycornish @httpmcrvel  @winterboobaer @learisa @vintagepigeon @supernatural508 @missmeganrachel  @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @its-daydreamer23 @nerdyandproud9 @geeksareunique  @feelmyroarrrr  @santheweird @the-real-kellymonster @buckyandivarlover @wolflhards  @the-ragnarssons-tickle-spot @elaacreditava @saraniz @game-of-spidey-imagines @bitsandbobsandstuff @kandiidreams @wemettonight @lilmissperfectlyimperfect @bexboo616 @rebekahsalvator @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @fireflyloki28 @crazy-little-thing-called-buck @creideamhgradochas @suz-123 @coal000 @affleck40 @capsmuscles (tagging you because it’s Steve, finally, I hope you don’t mind). 

#steve x reader #steve rogers x reader #mamtwritingchallenge #angst #steve angst #steve rogers angst #marvel angst #steve rogers one shot #too long

[diinofayce]

The Escape

Pairing: Winter Soldier/Bucky Barnes x Reader | Word Count: 5,428 | Warnings: blood, language, torture, surgery, angst, fluffy resolution | A/N: This is for @marvelatmytrash writing challenge. Congratulations on hitting 3k followers! Prompts are in bold in the story. 

You remembered when they brought him in; bruised, bleeding, and missing an arm. You were only ten, allowed to follow along at your father’s lab coat tails because honestly where else would you go in this lab? You got to hand him the tools and the syringes he needed to ‘save the nice man’ as your father prepared him for suspended animation in his knew invention - the cryotank. It was 1945 and you had lost your mother to a bad case of the influenza only a year prior, she had also been a scientist but only in the home and allowing your father to take credit and improve upon her theories and ideas. Women weren’t allowed to be much of anything in those days no matter where you were from. You grew up staring at the nice man in cryostasis as you worked with your father into the late hours of the night of the idea of a cybernetic limb to replace the arm the soldier lost. 

Your father would tell you fantastic stories of the nice man, whose dog tags said his names was a James Buchanan Barnes from Brooklyn, New York. Your father gave you the tags in secret, making you promise not to let any of his superiors find out. He said that James could not know he was before, that it would make him too sad and that it could be too much for him to process and could hurt his head. Your father told you about his friend Captain America and all about New York, which had been a place your father got to visit once to meet with a Howard Stark. It all sounded so amazing, like a fairy tale, compared to the cold wasteland of snowy Russia. You smiled when your father scolded you for letting  your mind wander. You muttered a, “Sorry, Papa,” and handed him his screwdriver.

It was 1954 when your father finished the cybernetic arm and find a way to safely wake up the soldier. You were so excited, at 19 you had proved that you were an asset to Hydra and allowed to work at your father’s side on what Hydra had come to call Project Winter Soldier. You helped your father pump the correct chemicals into the cryotank to wake the Soldier from his stasis, armed Hydra soldiers stood at the ready in case of erratic behavior, this was an asset they wanted but he hadn’t proved to be valuable yet so they had no qualms eliminating him. It stressed you out - the idea that this man was worth so little to your superiors - but your father barked harshly at you to get you to focus and thus started the thawing process. 

Getting the Soldier thawed and woken was easy enough, but you could not risk letting him fall asleep again too soon in case he never woke up again. Your superiors wanted that arm on immediately and so it was you that was tasked with preparing the scared and shivering soldier for surgery. You had grown up staring at the man in the cryotank, at the cowlick that swept his bangs gracefully out of his face, at his chiseled jaw line and dimpled chin. You often found yourself wondering what colour his eyes were or what those pouty pink lips looked like when he smiled. You were oddly in love with a man you didn’t know, you grew up anxiously awaiting for the moment you got to hear his voice. “I am so sorry,” you spoke to him in what English your father had taught you in his spare time as he woke up. “We can not take your pain away. We need to have clean readings from the cryostasis.” You tried to explain everything to him calmly with soothing tones as his crystal blue eyes flashed wildly around the laboratory. 

“The train? I fell off the train. Where is Steve? Where’s Captain America?” the soldier asked you frantically between large gulping breaths. Blue. His eyes were the purest and most brilliant blue you could have ever imagined. His voice was cracked from lack of use, but you could tell how soft it could be.

“What is your name and rank, Soldier?” you asked calmly as you prepared the scalpel to remove the dead and damaged tissue and muscle of his dismembered arm that would not thaw.

“Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes of the 107th Division,” the soldier rattled off automatically. “Where is Captain Steve Rogers?” 

The Sergeant’s blue eyes locked with yours, tears tipped over onto his cheeks as he looked at you with pure fright. It was when his eyes locked onto the red Hydra symbol embrodered onto your lab coat that he started to hyperventilate. He screamed in your face and pulled at the restraints that were locked across his chest, right arm, and legs. It was no use and he looked at you once more, desperation lining every inch of his face. “Please,” he begged, his voice breaking and his dark brown hair sticking to his forehead with sweat. “Please don’t do this to me again. Please just kill me.”

“I am sorry, Sergeant. We all have our orders,” you replied with regret as you pushed your scalpel into the flesh of his left shoulder. His eyes slammed shut and his face twisted in pain as he screamed until his throat was raw.

The Sergeant passed out from the pain quickly. You told your father when he entered the operating room with the cybernetic arm that he had been awake for a little while and still had some of his memories. You were proud of your father and his success with the cryotank, so far it had gone without a hitch. You handed your father the instruments he needed as he went to work applying the metal arm, you winced as he burned the flesh around the metal seam to help hold it all in place. You knew there had to be a better way to do that, one that wouldn’t hurt the soldier for the foreseeable future, but you knew that time was not on either of your sides. You were not only racing the clock your superiors had given you, but you were also racing to make sure that Sergeant Barnes would stay stable. When the last screw was tightened and your father gave a few sharp tugs on the cybernetic arm to make sure it was securely attached, he gave you the signal to wake the soldier up. 

“Are you sure, Papa?” you asked, holding up the needle of adrenaline. 

“Do not question your papa, Y/N. Wake him,” your father barked and you drove the needle into the soldier’s heart and pushed the plunger down. It was seconds before he woke with a deep gulp of air. He ripped his right arm through his leather bind and looked at you with wild eyes before batting you away with the back of his hand - sending you flying across the room like you were nothing more than a gnat. He grabbed the binding on his chest and ripped that off so he could sit up. The sound of bullets being fired was deafening, but the sound of them ricocheting off metal and landing elsewhere had you watching him with wide eyes. He protected himself behind his new metal appendage before twisting so slightly to send the bullets ricocheting back into the soldiers who were firing at him. With the two Hydra gunners dead the soldier reached out faster than lightning and was lifting your father off the ground by his throat, metal fingers glinting sharply under the operating lights.

You stood quickly and rushed over to your father’s side, throwing your hands on the metal bicep of the soldier. “Please, put him down,” you begged for your father’s life and the soldier’s icy blue eyes flicked to yours. 

“My orders were to destroy Hydra. We all have our orders,” his velvety voice was devoid of emotion as he crushed your father’s larynx in his new metal hand. You stepped back, tears falling hot down your cheeks, as he ripped the bonds at his ankles. He clawed furiously in pain at the scarring around his shoulder before turning his gaze back to you. You pushed yourself against the wall wishing you could just sink through the cold metal to the other side as the man strutted towards you with murder in his eyes. All of the anger and pain and betrayal was loudly screaming from behind his stare, but as he reached out for you with a his metal hand the door to your right flung open and five men in full combat armor poured into the room. They beat the soldier down with electric batons and drug him out of the room all screaming furiously at each other and for more soldiers ahead of them. 

You took a moment to collect yourself, not wanting to look at your father on the ground, before following fast on their heels to a room a few door down. You knew your father worked in this room late at night, but he never employed your help on the invention he was crafting. It looked to be a large metal chair with metal arms coming around it in a halo. The Hydra soldiers threw Sergeant Barnes onto the chair and started locking large metal bonds around his biceps and chest. He tried to kick out at them but one hit him hard across the face with the electric baton. You gasped in horror and your hand flew up to your mouth as you took a step towards them.  

“We were instructed not to harm the asset!” you barked and the men ignored you, all except Sergeant Barnes whose gaze locked with yours again. Hate and betrayal oozed from him as they placed a leather strap around his forehead and jammed a mouth guard between his teeth. 

A few of your father’s colleagues stepped forward and started pressing buttons and turning dials. The chair whirred to life, electricity crackling between the arms as they sunk forward and encircled the soldier’s head. One of the scientists barked for everyone to move away from the asset before he pressed a large button on the center console. Electricity thrummed into the soldier’s head and Sergeant Barnes screamed through the mouth guard as his back arched, straining against the bongs to the chair. You fell to your knees in the doorway as you watched them pulse more and more large volumes of electricity into his brain. This was cruel, this was torture, this was nothing that you stood for. You cried as the beautiful man in front of you screamed in agony, how were you going to fix this?

~*~

It was always you they gave the soldier to when they were done frying his brain cells to death. You tried to voice your opinions to your superiors that there had to be a better way to go about having the soldier on Hydra’s side, but your superiors weren’t interested in listening to a woman. They had kept you around and tolerated you to gain the trust of your father, with him gone you had lost that luxury. You were allowed to stay in your father’s apartment but rarely given permission to leave it, allowed out only to be escorted to the lab where you were to make adjustments on the soldier’s arm.

It was where you were now, knelt on the operating table next to him as he sat with his legs dangling over the sides. You were trying to get a tricky bit of tech to rotate as it should under his shoulder plate. You tried to work gently, your long fingers cut and bleeding from the sharp edges of the gears and plates, but you didn’t want to cause this broken man on your table any more undue duress. You swore softly as the gear you were trying to get started up snapped off it’s axle entirely, causing the arm to go completely limp. The soldier looked down at his useless hand before turning his head to look over his shoulder at you. The look was cold and accusatory and you weren’t sure if he was blaming you for the predicament that moment or just in general.

“I am sorry, Sergeant,” you whispered, not wanting the enforcers at the doorway hear you call him anything other than Soldat. He only blinked slowly and looked straight ahead once more. 

In the five years he’s been kept hostage by Hydra, forced to go out and do their killing for them before returning him to that awful chair, his hair had grown out beautifully. The chocolate strands in the front were gracing his cheekbones while around his ears and neck line it was just starting to curl around his jaw. It was always his eyes that stopped the breath in your lungs, though. Even though you had only ever seen fear in his eyes it was still better than seeing them devoid of anything entirely. You sighed softly and hopped off the exam table to rummage in a tool box of assorted gears and parts. Finding what you were looking for you clambered back up onto the table and flipped open the shoulder plate again.

“Am I hurting you?” you whispered to him softly in English. You were trying to make a connection for the soldier in your care, trying to keep him tethered to a part of himself that he doesn’t even remember exists. 

“No.” Came his curt reply in Russian. You only nodded, taking what you can get, and carefully reattached the gear to the new axle. A soft tinkling noise caught your attention and you tapped on his arm plate by plate, your ear pressed against his bicep. You weren’t even aware that the soldier was staring down at you passively. 

You popped open a plate on his bicep and shone your little flashlight into the mechanics, squinting as you watched for any sign of what could be causing so much damage to your work. A little flash of bronze in the silver steel gave it away and you clicked your tongue against the back of your teeth in disapproval. “Why did you not tell me you were blocking bullets again, Sergeant?” you whispered and grabbed a long pair of forceps to extract the little bullet that must have sneaked in through the plates and caused havoc on the little gears and wires. 

“It should be expected,” was the short response you got, this time in English. You smiled softly and looked up to meet his eyes, holding the bullet up in the forceps. 

“No, you are supposed to be quiet, they should not be shooting at you.” You shined the flashlight in his arm again, popping off a few more plates to make sure there weren’t more bullets hiding in his arm or that there hasn’t been any more damages that would cause a fault later. 

“Then don’t make my arm so loud,” the soldier countered. 

You frowned and shifted your gaze subtly to the enforcers keeping watch. This is the most interaction the soldier has ever participated in with you and you didn’t want them to not let you see him anymore. You ran your hands softly up his arm, closing and latching plates as you went. 

“I can modify some sound dampeners, it may take some time. Do you have a mission currently?” you placed your other hand on his flesh shoulder, noticing how he tensed under your touch as you did so, but you needed to so you could plant yourself as you grabbed a little leather strap that you had running down inside his metal arm to hold the larger gears still while you worked on the little ones so you didn’t lose any fingers. 

“No,” he answered through gritted teeth, steeling himself for what he knew was to come. 

“I am sorry, Sergeant Barnes,” you whispered in his ear before giving a hard yank on the strap, it working almost like a ripcord starter putting his arm back in motion. He grunted in pain, but worked on keeping his expression stilled. You hopped off the table and cleaned the micro cuts on your fingers with a little rubbing alcohol and a cloth. “You are fixed, Soldat,” you said loudly in Russian so the enforcers would hear. “I will need you back in for those modifications before you go out on another mission. Go report.” You hated turning cold on him, you hated that you to put up this front and you hoped he saw through it. You hoped that he knew he was just trying to keep yourself here so that you could watch out for him. But you knew they would just wipe him and he’d forget you again anyway.

~*~

Later that night the door to your rooms were unceremoniously opened without warning and two enforcers pushed the Winter Soldier into your kitchen sitting him down at a table. You tied the waistband of your night robe around you a little tighter before crossing your arms in front of your chest trying to accomplish looking menacing while trying to hide the fact that you were not wearing a bra in front of men who haven’t seen women in god knows how long. The two enforcers let their gazes rake your body before you cleared your throat and demanded an explanation. 

“Superiors were not amused that you would return the asset without any upgrades you have been working on,” one of them explained to you sharply.

“I haven’t finished creating them. The required modifications were only brought up to me during repairs,” you argued, your hands falling to your hips and cheeks flushed with anger. You hated that they spoke of the soldier as if he was just an item, a weapon for Hydra use, you hated even more that you had to do the same thing around them. That you had to dehumanize this beautiful man who was in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong things pumping through his veins. 

“Your father would have them done by now. The Asset has a mission briefing at 0600, have it ready by then.” With that the enforcers left your apartment, leaving you alone with the broken man at your kitchen table. You were surprised, to say the least, you had expected that they would lounge about your rooms while you worked on the soldier. The enforcers never seemed to leave his side. In the last few years he had proved to be unstable and erratic and in need of handlers at all times. 

You looked over at him, his hands folded in his lap and his head down, hair hiding his eyes from your gaze. You sigh, maybe a little dramatically, and leave the kitchen to gather the blue prints you were working on in the living room, your tools, and the bottle of wine. 

“Do you drink?” you ask the soldier in English reaching for a second glass. It was automatic, to convert languages with him, it was a secret the two of you kept even if he spoke Russian now thanks to all the brainwashing and even if he never remembered that you always spoke English to him…thanks to all the brainwashing.

“It doesn’t work,” came the gruff reply and you heard him shift in his seat, his heavy frame causing the wood of the chair to groan. 

“That does not mean you can not enjoy it.” You filled the wine glass and set it on his right side. You sat across from him and pulled your blueprints to you, working on a few equations and sketches and comparing them to aged copies of your father’s original blueprints. You looked up briefly to see him gently running a finger up and down the stem of the glass. He picked up the glass of red wine slowly and lifted it to his nose, sniffing it briefly. “It is not poison,” you reassure. The corners of his lips twitch barely momentarily into a smile. If you had not been watching him so closely you would have missed it. 

“Too bad,” he said softly and took a sip.

You frown and go back to your equations. “I am sorry.” You say that to him a lot, not that it does any good or that you have any notion that he believes  you in the slightest. You work for Hydra, you helped create the cyrotank, you cut off the remainder of his mangled arm, you helped affix this weapon to the stump. Hell, you worked for the organization that was responsible for his plummet from the freight train anyway, you were just as much the enemy to him as anyone here.

“It’s not your fault. You’re always kind.” His voice is barely louder than a whisper but his words came screaming at you.

“Always?” you ask, setting your pencil down and looking at him for clarification.

“They thought I would forget… but I remember everything.” The soldier looked over at you, his crystal blue eyes filled with pain and sadness. “At least about you. Everything else comes in the nightmares. The train…some skinny little guy…I think my mom. That’s all a blur, but I can never forget you.” 

Your eyes grew wide, not just at what he was admitting to you but because you weren’t sure if you knew what he just did. Your eyes flicked around the kitchen in a panic as you looked for the places they kept the cameras hidden. 

“No,” you whispered, standing on shaking knees as you gathered all your blueprints up. “No, no, no. Why would you say that?” 

The soldier watched you with confused horror on his face. He didn’t know what he had done, he had no idea that they would be watching you. He thought he would finally get to actually speak with you, to tell you that he thinks he loves you. He understands that maybe it’s because you were the only person who showed him any kindness in the five years he’d been here, or maybe it’s just a side effect of the constant brain wipes and you being the only thing he can keep a solid hold on glorified everything about you in his mind. And now with the enforcers gone he had a chance, but you were acting like the whole building was about to come down on you. Taking a few deep breaths to steady his mind he followed your constantly moving gaze and recognized the little red lights of video surveillance. His eyes grew wide and his mouth opened a little as understanding gripped him and he was on his feet in and instant - locking your door and following after you to help you escape. 

“They are going to wipe you harder than they have since the beginning. Then they’re going to kill me,” you explained throwing all your research papers and blueprints in the oven and turning the broiler on. “I need to leave. How do I leave?” you were trying not to panic. You rushed passed the soldier into your bedroom where you promptly disrobed, not worried about what he may or may not be seeing, to dress in clothing easy movement and would be sturdy enough to hold up for a few days without showing wear. 

“I can get us out. We can run and hide. You know where I’m from, we can go there,” the soldier was looking at you with such pleading and desperate eyes. You paused to look him over, trying to find out if this was some sort of Hydra trick before nodding once. 

As if it was a signal the front door burst open to your rooms and the soldier was rushing forward. He wrapped his flesh arm around you and lifted you into his arms, you could hear the coughing from the enforcers stepping into your now smoke filled kitchen before suddenly you and the soldier were jumping out a window. He wrapped both arms around you and twisted so he rolled with you curled up against him. Landing on his feet he set you down and took off at a run with you chasing behind him. They hadn’t been expecting you to leave the way you did and most enforcers were inside the facility expecting an all out brawl with the Winter Soldier so the path out was clear. 

It was too easy. You knew it was too easy, but you just wanted to believe that something would go easy for once. The glare from the headlights lit your path from behind and you knew they were after the both of you. The soldier was spinning around suddenly and grabbing you by your upper arms. His expression was set in stone but his eyes were full of regret and desperation. “Tell me my name. Please, so I wont forget it,” he begged of you.

“Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes of the 107th Division,” you replied slightly out of breath from running. 

He nodded resolutely. “You keep running. I will find you.” The promise rang in the air as the realization dawned on you. He was going back to them. He was going back to them so you could get away.

“No,” you pleaded and tried to tug out of his grasp to start running again. He let you go and you stumbled a bit before turning backing and reaching out for him. “I wont let them make me forget you.” He stood tall and proud as he pulled his Beretta off his back.

“I will wait for you in Brooklyn. I’ll never leave, Sergeant Barnes,” you promised and then broke out into a run. Tears streaked down your face as the sounds of gun fire echoed in the night air.

~*~

Bucky stood outside an apartment complex that had been transformed into a senior living facility. It was a bit nicer than most nursing homes in the city which he was thankful for. It had been almost sixty years since he’s seen you, since he helped you escape and you were right where you’d promised you would be - Brooklyn. When Bucky got his mind back and left Wakanda he had worked with Steve on finding how to track you down, it was hard once you hit Ellis Island because you chose to go with a more American sounding last name in the hopes of not receiving so much persecution in the face of dying McCarthyism. You had married twice, your first husband passing away in your thirties, and had three children who were all very successful in their fields. You had built a life and Bucky was proud of himself knowing that he made sure you got that life, but he was so nervous to actually walk in those front doors and find you. 

He didn’t have to worry too much longer about it or have the chance to talk himself out of it because suddenly a window three stories over head opened and a face surrounded by cotton white curls stuck out. “You are late!” the voice, a bit feeble with age, called down and Bucky frowned in confusion. But even three stories down he could make out the look in your eyes and he smiled softly. Nodding he went inside.

Sitting across from you in the little kitchenette as you busied yourself pouring tea with slightly shaking hands was oddly familiar. 

“I’m sorry I don’t have wine to offer you this time, Sergeant Barnes,” you said with a small chuckle as you passed him the little dish of sugar. 

Bucky smiled and held his hand up. “You can call me Bucky, Y/N, and tea is great. I’m sorry it took so long.” 

You sighed softly and shrugged your shoulders. “It should be me apologizing. I kept up with you, you know, all these years. Hydra has only gotten worse, I should have done more to get you out.” 

“I wanted to forget you, Y/N. God, trying to forget you is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I wanted to forget that you were out here waiting for me, I wanted to forget how much…softer…you were than the man they had replace you. I wanted to forget that there was someone who treated me like a human instead of a mindless weapon. But I still couldn’t, no matter how many times they wiped me or froze me or what have you…I couldn’t forget you. But I couldn’t leave, I couldn’t make myself leave and find you,” Bucky admitted carding his fingers through his hair.

“You’re moping, enough of that. We do things, as humans, make choices and have choices made for us. They shape who we are, it doesn’t matter what you did or didn’t do all that matters is what you do when you walk out of my front door,” you barked slapping his metal hand that was resting on the table. You had expected it to ring like steel, even though you recognized it as not your design you were surprised that you didn’t recognize the metal.

“Vibranium. New technology,” Bucky explained softly holding his hand out to you. He let you run your fingers up and down the smooth surface, your wrinkled fingers not getting caught on any sharp edges or plates, the gold veined beautifully. 

“This isn’t Hydra,” you said simply and Bucky shook his head no. You nodded firmly in resolution. “Good, I’d hate to think they were getting this much smarter.” You patted his hand gently in your aged ones and sighed. 

“None of this is your fault,” Bucky said suddenly. You looked up at him and found his blue eyes, for the first time ever, looking at you with comfort and fondness. You let a smile crack your face and you laughed softly.

“I wasn’t thinking it was! I was thinking that if I had been smarter, I would have made my own cryofreeze so you could have just woken me up. Then you’d have something nice to come home to and not some old bat.”

Bucky expression turned a little sad, but he smiled. “I think you’re beautiful, Y/N.” “You’re a damn flirt, James Barnes. I got some pretty nice kids out of it and my husband is alright when he’s not playing cards down in the hall.” You crossed your arms and chuckled to yourself before looking at Bucky mischievously. “He didn’t want to meet you, you know. Said he didn’t want to see what all the hype was about, jealous old coot.” 

Bucky laughed and shook his head, his chocolate hair long enough to touch his collarbones now. “No, I’m the jealous old man here.” He was about to say something else when his phone went off his back pocket. He pulled it out and frowned at the text message on the screen. “I have to go,” he said sadly looking up at you.

You smiled softly. “The world needs you Bucky. It doesn’t know it yet, it might not be so kind yet, but it does. Take some cookies with you for the trip,” you added, standing suddenly and dumping  a bunch of cookies into a tupperware container. “And I want that box back. Its my good cookie box, so you can’t take sixty years this time!” 

Bucky smiled, a small blush forming on his cheeks. “Yes, ma’am.Thank you, Y/N, for everything.” He bent down and kissed you softly on the cheek. You giggled like a school girl and patted his butt fondly, humming in appreciation as you scooted him out the door to save the world. You watched him walk away out your window and waved when he turned to look back. 

You felt such a sense of pride in your soldier. That he was free and walking out in the Brooklyn sunshine again. You watched as he met with a tall blonde man who had been leaning against a car and knew it was his friend Steve, you smiled at what Bucky had gained back. It was okay that you weren’t what he needed back then to fight for because he had everything he needed to fight for now. He would be okay and that was more than enough for you.

#mamtwritingchallenge #bucky barnes x reader #winter soldier x reader #winter solder #bucky barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky fandom #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fandom #winter soldier fanfiction

[hiswhiteknight]

Best Friends Turned Foes - Part 1

Summary: Reader is an up and comer with the Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D. The Reader’s relationship (lack thereof) with the one and only Bucky Barnes starts to become a problem, especially considering they’re usually moments from killing each other. They used to be best friends, but something in the past broke the bond. Y/N and Barnes bickering is now becoming too much, so Captain and Tony take it upon themselves to fix it by forcing them to work together.

This is a mini series for @marvelatmytrash  #MAMTWritingChallenge, congrats on the 3k - you go Glenn Coco. I’m not sure how many parts there will be. Hope you like it! It is definitely a slow starting series.

I don’t own any marvel characters or the gif. All rights go the appropriate people. Can’t wait to hear what everyone thinks.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Words: 955

Warning: Angst, potential cursing

Steve looked over the training space at the Avenger’s headquarters. Their trainees and current members were working together to make sure they were in top mental and physical health. Stark walked next to him, “We got a fine oiled machine here, Cap,” he said admiring the crew they helped mold and lead, “I don’t want to take all the credit, but I will. Everything and everyone is working splendidly, you’re welcome,” he grinned.

It wasn’t necessary to get annoyed or roll his eyes, Captain has come to understand how Stark’s arrogance came from a good place – most of the time. Instead he smirked, starting to nod his head when suddenly his attention went to the bout of yelling occurring cross the way, “Are you serious, again,” Stark mumbled, looking in the same direction.

There stood Y/N, a group of trainee agents, and Bucky Barnes. They were on a training mat, Y/N had one of her trainees facing her with a knife in hand. Bucky was standing watching the training with his arms crossed, sharing an easily annoyed expression. And all the trainees looking incredibly uncomfortable or amused.

Bucky wasn’t even supposed to be in this area now, he was supposed to be doing some of his own training and workout. But some how he has gravitated towards this training space, giving his own two cents to Y/N training lesson. Normally, this isn’t an oddity. Avengers always share lessons and help each other out, but with these two – it has become toxic and a thorn in everyone’s side.

Sighing in frustration Steve tried to see if they pair could solve the problem on their own, like children learning some social autonomy, “Sergeant Barnes,” Y/N growled, making sure to show some teeth, “I swear to all the mighty powers of the universe, if you try to correct me one more time – I’ll-,” you threatened.

“You’ll what,” he replied back, seeming so cool and collected. He was not phased at all by your threats, which Steve could tell made Y/N all the madder.

Taking a deep sigh, Y/N lowered her voice trying to be more threatening, “You don’t want to find out,” she leaned in further looking at him, shooting one of her eyebrows up for emphasis.

Bucky leaned in as well, “Oh, I’d like to see you try,” he whispered harshly, “Princess,” he finished the statement off with a pet name.

Steve knew very well what Bucky was going to do before he even said the pet name. Captain’s speed came in handy, he jumped down the stairs, “That’s it,” you said, grabbing the knife from her trainee and went straight onto Bucky, who had the biggest smirk on his face. Again, he wasn’t phased by this new threat, he just dodged from side to side, blocking Y/N swings. He would never admit it, but Y/N was quick and smart. Eventually she’d be able to out master his moves.

Right as Y/N dove the knife towards Bucky, he caught her hand with his mental one. Bucky just stared down at her fiercely, both panting. Cap found himself between the two before anything could happen, “Alright, that’s enough.” Bucky took a deep breath and you growled through her teeth. Captain looked at the group of students around them, “Alright, good training for the day – go grab some lunch,” he instructed. Everyone slowly started to turn and whisper, occasionally looking back. Captain waited patiently for everyone to disperse, before he turned back to look at the pair, “What seems to be the problem?”

“This, lint licker,” Y/N pointed at Bucky snarling, “won’t let me finish my fight training with my group. He keeps interrupting with his stupid, unnecessary comment.”

He shrugged, “I just wanted our team to be well informed,” acting all innocent, but Steve could tell he enjoyed getting Y/N riled and Captain knew it.

“I want this clown assigned to a new training time.”

“Aren’t you scared of clowns,” he laughed, “I consider that a compliment.”

Y/N went to grab him again, but Cap stopped her, “You both are done for the day, get out of here.”

“I’m not done,” Y/N tried to explain, “I have a class-.”

“Y/N, you both are acting unprofessional. Romanoff will take over your classes for the day. Both of you go cool off,” Cap yelled, his frustration level was at an all-time high.

Y/N took a deep breath, gave Cap a nod, “Fine,” she said slowly. Captain could tell she felt guilty and sensed his frustration level. She turned, grabbed her water bottle, and skulked towards the locker room.

Captain watched Bucky watch Y/N walk away, “Thanks for the warm up, Sweet Cheeks,” Bucky called after her, he had to get the last word. Steve closed his eyes in annoyance before waiting to see how Y/N reacted.

She stopped, clenched her fists, before continuing to walk calmly out of the gym, “Are you kidding Buck,” Steve exclaimed to his friend, “You can’t just be nice or leave her alone?”

Bucky looked at his friend, “What,” he shouted, “I just critiqued some of her lesson plan. She is still learning herself,” he pointed out, “It’s part of my job.”

Shaking his head, “Sweet Cheeks,” he questioned, “Really?”

“Alright, that was my mistake,” he nodded, “I’m sorry Steve.”

Steve put a hand on Bucky shoulder, “You don’t owe me the apology.”

Bucky didn’t agree, he just acknowledged Steve’s statement before turning the other direction, and Cap was left rubbing his head. He needed to figure out how to get these two to work together, “That went well,” Tony said over Cap’s shoulder, “What exactly happened between those two, weren’t they best friends?”

“Yeah,” Steve exhaled, shaking his head, “They had a falling out.”

PART 2

#mamtwritingchallenge #marvelatmytrash #bucky x reader #bucky imagine #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes #angst #mini series

[a-wanna-be-emo]

Marvel at my trash writing challenge!

The room was pitch black, light flooded the room when [Y/N] opened the door after a long shift at work. "Peter? Hun? Where are yo-" they switched on the light only to be greeted with a room full of balloons and streamers. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY [Y/N]!" Peter jumped down from the ceiling with a wide smile. He pulled on the string to a confetti cannon. He didn't take in account how surprised [Y/N] would get. [Y/N] got so surprised that they fell backwards, stumbled over a coffee table and whacked their head on the floor hard enough to knock them out. Peter's smile fell as he saw them fall onto the floor "..... [Y/N]?" He rushed over to them. He fell to his knees and gently picked them up, resting them on his lap. "Hey..... hey?" He rocked back at forth with them in his arms "wake up... please?" He quickly looked up when he heard heavy footsteps. "Hey kid...." Tony walked in distracted by the screen that hovered above his arm, until he glanced up and looked at the room. The room was just covered in confetti, streamers, balloons. It had a big 'happy birthday' sign and right in the middle of the room sat Peter with the passed out [Y/N]. "Peter.. what happened?!" Peter looked at Tony with worried eyes. "I- I um... t-they... um" he looked down at [Y/N]. "I- it's their birthday and... I wanted to surprise them." He said sheepishly. "They got a surprise alright. Come on let's get [Y/N] fixed up." Peter carefully picked them up, holding onto them tightly and followed Tony out.

#mamtwritingchallenge #this is shit #sorry #;-; #Peter Parker #reader insert

[marvelatmytrash]

Hello My Sweet Loves!

I am currently traveling through Italy so my WiFi is a bit spotty this week, but I am loving seeing all your posts for my writing challenge and I am so excited to read all of them on my flight home! You all have been doing such an incredible job and your stories have been so much fun to read! Thank you for submitting and for being a part of this challenge, I can't wait to catch up on all your amazing stories!

If any of you want to follow my travels, you can follow me on Instagram at instagram.com/Brittany_j_Banks

#mamtwritingchallenge #writing challenge #bee responds #getting to know bee #instagram #follow me #be my friend