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#me acting like i know im not in trouble by acting stupid
mrfoox · 1 year
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The fact I refuse to confront/inform the people who have basically ruined my mental state and my ability to function bc that would make them feel bad is honestly bonkers
#miranda talking shit#I cant say id be having a good and normal life if i wasnt abused as a young child but im 90% sure I'd not have this must trouble#Id still have my autistic and add problems but my anxiety and depression would definitely be a lot better#Its... Insane. That my older brothers probably have no idea how much they have actually ruined my life/mental state from such an earlh age#As 4 yrs old... Hell they might not even remember it or even think it was a 'big deal'. I know my second oldest brother probably falls into#The latter. I know now that they both most likely have undiagnosed adhd/autism and they used me as a way to act out/feel better#But being told youre stupid. Fat. Ugly. Useless from the age of 4 like... I cant stress how much it have ruined my self image#Ive tried to build confidence in myself and love myself since my teens and i can barely say im 'avarge' without doubting it#Like they also hit me but that's nothing compared to the mental torture i had to go through on an almost daily basis#Funniest thing is that bc it happened/started when i was so young i didnt think it was... Bad or weird or abnormal.#I started crying when my parents told me to go tell my brothers it was dinner time. I was terrified of knocking on their doors#I still to this day 20 years later am still incredibly uncomfortable and anxious talking with them and i havent been able to make much of#An relationship with them bc of it. Im scared to say anything to them even if its simple shit. And men/boys in general ive thus been#Terrified of since i was young. Once again i thought it was normal to mistrust and be scared of men until i was in my teens#I wish i could hate them i wish i could be angry i wish i had someone to blame#But no my brain is too nice and give excuses to them. Their actions are excused. They have ruined me mentally but thats not their fault#Fuck that might be true but they were still 6 and 11 years older than me. I didnt have a chance to protect myself in any way#I wish someone saw i wasnt okay. I wish someone understood that i wasnt well. I wish someone saw me.#Negative#Abuse
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lepidopterium · 2 years
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~~~
#like i dont have the energy to try and get myself into a routine. work business as usual so future me doesnt have to#catch up with everything ive fallen behind and let fall apart#i dont have the energy to reassure anyone that im suicidal but i will be okay. i dont know that. i dont want to promise that#and i dont have the energy to talk to anyone. barely have the energy to leave the house but i cant stand being here so thats what helps#i already have a plan but im trying not to go through with it for the sake of my brothers. but im having trouble caring either.#i cant talk to anyone. i cant lie and tell them im managing bc im not. not even a little.#listening to music isnt working. getting high isnt working. sleeping and eating isnt working. going out for air isnt working#i dont know how to pull myself out of this. i dont know why this last fight with my mother was my breaking point but it was#and i regret reaching out for help because it only#it only showed me that no one will help me get out of this house. i have to do it myself. no one can save me from this.#and i feel all the less human for it#and im heartbroken because here are two adults. so called parents. put me through years of abuse and horror who i still manage to care for#and worry about. all while im not human to them. thats what breaks my heart. thats what hurts#i cant swallow it all up anymore. my body is just racked with terror all the time. i cant pretend to be happy and engaged when i feel so#incredibly fucking alone with this awful horror thats just always clinging to every part of my body.#i dont want to hurt anyone. i dont want to hurt anyone. i dont want to hurt anyone. i dont know what to do.#everyone loves me because ive given it my all to not base my actions on how much rage and hurt im carrying. or with family bc i stay in#the closet and turn the other cheek. because i take all my wants and i put them aside and i act based on not inconveniencing anyone#and thats such a stupid thing bc look where i am now.#no one sees me. no one knows how to help me. no one can help me. and i cant keep enduring this. i cant keep relinquishing choice.#i cant get myself to believe anything otherwise. and i want to be selfish. i want to do the most selfish thing i could ever do to others.
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cutemeat · 2 years
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Glenn would appreciate your theories me thinks because when he said dennis was actually rehearsing and was just mad that mac saw it before he should have I thought he was reading one of your tumblr posts
FIRST OFF I AM SO FLATTERED BUT SECONDLY I RLLY GOTTA BE UPFRONT HERE 😭 yes i come up w theories i come up w AUs but bros… a lot of my posts abt Macden and Dennis in general… i re-watch the show itself SO often i am genuinely speaking from my analysis of the canon itself. i dont want ppl to get it too twisted— i genuinely have just been picking up on the stuff they have been writing into the show.. thats my feeling.. like when i talk abt the Shamrock stuff.. how Gets New Wheels/MFHP are macden arc foil eps… the Cats in the Wall metaphor, that is ALL rcg! that is what THEY wrote into the text!!
#im so honored u think glenn would appreciate my theories tho tbh i rlly hope he would#mostly cuz i do rlly try to parse what they are writing/acting into the show i try so hard dude#i just lov dennis im so passionate abt how theyve written him i think glenn has such an attention to detail w his character#n puts so much into him i rlly fuckin admire it i do#cuz tbh i rlly am a little bitch for canon thats just who i am#n dennis reminds me so much emotionally of how ive felt in my dads side of the family who Have that level of dysfunction the gang do so that#also helps a bit w my reading i feel LMAOO#like so many of my theories i try to specifically make sure they line up with the pre-existing canon as if i were pitching 2 rcg themselves#like. again thats just me 😭😭#so yea.. again im so so flattered but truly a lot of my posting is based on what i think is written!!!#n as someone who has watched this show so so sooo many times i rlly do see them writing macden i see them writing den as having Loved mac#even when hes saying he hates mac….. he doesnt. he rlly truly doesnt. n rcg knows it i swear to u#they are smart. they have Been doing this for years. thats not givin em credit thats truly just experience!#(this is also important when it comes to criticizing them i believe.. like i cant let em off the hook for the stupid racist shit theyve#pulled n try to brush off cuz i KNOW theyre intelligent n not just bad writers thats a case of em choosing to be ignorant or phrasing their#frustrations against specifically Hulu pulling those eps performatively very poorly cuz Hulu now is part of the house that pays their bills#n they dont wanna get in trouble but seem to hav no qualms just coming off like they think Ppl Just Dont Get The Joke n NO Racist Adults#watch their show… thats BS n they should know better or fucking learn.. anyway)#like i aspire to write tv n i rlly like how theyve written sunny for the most part#like their character writing is just… i love it im obsessed w that aspect ive fallen so in love w all these characters’ writing#okok im done gushing#u are so sweet anon ily#but also i dont wanna give MYSELF too much credit when i dont feel ive done the heavy lifting yknow what i mean? 😭#i truly believe if anyone rewatched the show as much as i have (and with how rcg hav been talkin abt sunnys streaming potential i believe#they want ppl to at some point be able to rewatch it like that n pick up on this stuff)#but if anyone rewatches this show enough times u will see this stuff cuz again its totally just written into it!n#i am just pointing it out not writin it myself#but again im more than happy to talk abt it n point it out if RCG themselves aren’t always comfortable doing so/feel like its ‘bragging’#or pretentious.. cuz i hav So much fun analyzing the show n talking abt it n dont rlly hav any personal reputation stakes in doing so LOL
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bangchansgirlsblog · 7 months
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Overprotective
-9th member
Warnings: Angst, fighting.
Pairing: strays kids 9th member
Summary: being an idol is hard but it’s even harder when you want to be a normal teen but you can’t.
Enjoy!🩷
**
"But Chris!" I say yelling from the other side of the room.
We had been arguing for almost 10 minutes now and he wasn’t budging at all.
"I know you wanna go for the concert but we have a flight the next day, it won't be okay and I'm not risking you going out alone with non of the boys with you." He says crossing his hands and glaring at me.
"But Chris! I'll be with the girls-"
"The girls that im not in charge of! The girls that drink like maniacs and do stupid shit. You'll end up in a ditch!" He shouts at me.
He was currently sat on the dining table and his laptop was out meaning he was doing work.
I thought it would be a good idea to ask him about going for a concert tonight with the girls that I used to train with. They had invited me out and since I had been behaving I thought Chan would allow me too.
"Please Chan this is the only time I get to be a normal teen. I'll be back early and I won't touch or do anything illegal I promise." I complain in my whining voice.
"Nope." He simply says and I get even more angry.
"Chris you don't even let me go out! Why are you being like this!" I grab the pillow and throw it at him but he dodges it and glares at me.
"You know why I am! Im not arguing about this anymore. Go to your room and make sure all your stuff is packed. This conversation is done.”
"Ugh! I wish I never became a K-pop idol! I hate you!" I scream. I knew I was being dramatic but I had to atleast get my lick back. I refused to let him win this argument.
"If I knew you were gonna act like this I wouldn't pick you in the first place! You’re such a brat!" His voice louder than before.
"Woah woah woah what's going on In here?" Leeknow says walking into the room. Obviously coming out from the shower.
"Get your daughter before I yell at her even more." He tells him. standing up to pace the room.
"Y/nie what happened baby girl?" Leeknow asks wrapping his arms around me.
I knew if I told leeknow about the concert he would have been more stern than Chan. He would have mean more stricter.
“Hey why are you crying? Talk to me.” He softly says wiping off the tears that run down my cheeks.
“It’s nothing, Chan’s just being a jerk,” I spat and shrugged his arms off before walking up the stairs.
"What did you do Chan?" I hear him ask Chan.
Chan and leeknow always acted like the mum and dad of the group. In every situation.
I hear them whispering, Chan probably telling him about the concert and I hear leeknow gasping. Knowing trouble was coming my way I silently groan and walk in the dark corridors making my way to my room.
All the other guys were at practice or shopping cause we were going to leave in the morning so the house was quiet.
Being an idol was fun, I enjoyed it but that means I wasn't allowed to grow up in a normal space.
Being the youngest in the group of boys made it worse cause they were bugging on me and checking on me 24/7 and since my parents didn't leave in Korea they gave all guardian rights to Chan. Making me his "child".
A sigh escapes my mouth.
I sit on the carpet and fold my clothes while putting them in my pink suitcase.
We were going to New York for Lollapolza so I had to make sure I packed quite a lot. So I was busy, my thoughts were taunting me.
Chan's words didn't leave my head as I was busy packing up everything,
I was so upset that I didn't hear or see Leeknow walking in.
I wipe my tears and give him a smile, knowing he was going to scold me. I just knew it.
"Honey." He says with his scolding tone.
"Yes leeknow."
"You've disappointed me" he softly says.
"But Lee-"
"Chan is your elder, he watches over you like a father. He makes sure you eat sleep and rest and he helps you get to the goals you wanna reach right?"
"Yes but Leeknow-"
"No no no, you've hurt his feelings. I want you to apologize because I know me and him didn't raise you like this. We raised you to be respectful and to listen" he holds my hand and slowly rubs circles on them just to make sure I wasn’t upset but I was.
"What about my feelings leeknow you don't want to listen to me!" I blurt out frustrated.
He takes it by surprise cause I never dared raise my voice at him or yell at him.
"Excuse me?" He says raising an eyebrow. I quickly regret it and say a tiny “sorry” causing him to nod his head for me to continue
"Leeknow it's tiring watching all my friends having fun while I'm stuck on the side. When my friends are partying and having fun, I have dance practice from 6-12 in the night. I'm tired I just asked for one night out."
"But look baby girl, I know you want to be normal sometimes but you worked for this. You chose this life and the harsh truth is, Chan is looking out for you and our image. You can't be caught out drinking and smoking with boys." He says softly.
He obviously didn't get it but I was so exhausted from fighting I just nodded.
"Okay now wash your face, the boys are almost home and we'll have dinner. I hope your done packing." He says while getting up from the ground.
I just say a little hum and zip up my bag.
I take a shower and wear what looked like Jeogin's hoodie and some sweatpants and make my way down stairs.
All the guys were sitting on the table and the tension in the room was high.
"Hey munchkin," Han says kissing my forehead.
I tell him a little hello and he frowns at my dull face.
He obviously knew why I was upset but he didn't know it affected me this much.
Leeknow brings out the food and we all start to eat when I get a text on my phone causing me to look at it.
Maknae's On 🔝 :
Felix: we hard about the fight you had with Chan 😬
I.N: yeah sorry about it pookie.
Y/n: Guys we're on the table Chan is going to tell us off! Stop texting.
*cough cough* I look up to see Chan glaring at me obviously wanting to get my attention.
"No phones on the table Y/n you know this." Chan says while putting his fork down
"I was telling them to stop-"
"Just put it away and stop arguing." He cuts me off and grabs the bowl of potatoes.
"Are you serious right now Chan?" I ask in disbelief.
Why was he only picking on? Was he that angry at me? If he was going to be mad he should just say so instead of picking on me.
"Y/n let it go." Changbin says getting in the middle of the fight.
"But I was just-"
"What did we talk about?" Leeknow asks.
I scoff and put my phone down.
Saying things under my breathe because I was so mad.
The evening consisted of all the boys talking about the flight and discussed dance moves or general performance things.
I sit there quiet thinking about how I would be at a concert right now having a blast but I was home being given the Cold shoulder.
I grab my plate and put it in the sink leaving everyone in the dining room and making my way to my room.
I turn off all the lights and sit in the darkness scrolling through my phone trying to calm down.
It was long before I heard a knock on the door.
It was my oldest ‘brother’.
"Can I come in?" He softly says but I turn my back on him and look the other direction. Still very angry at him.
"Fair enough, I still am coming in." He sighs and sits by my bed.
The room is quiet.
"I'm sorry Y/nie" he says while brushing my hair.
His touch is soft and delicate almost like he didn’t want to break me or hurt me.
When he realized I wasn’t going to talk he just continued talking:
"Your the only girl in the group AND your the youngest. I worry okay? I worry because as men in this industry we see a lot but the women have seen worse. Your still a baby Y/nie. I wouldn't forgive myself if anything happened to you. I basically raised you. I want the best for you always. I know what I said has hurt you, it wasn't my intention but you hurt me, and being your older brother I was disappointed. Channie loves you so much and Im happy your on my team okay?" He finalizes and I feel a drop on my shoulder.
I look at him and watch he had tear stained eyes. My heart breaks and the guilt starts to fill my stomach.
"Oppa don't cry because of me. I'm sorry." I get up and wipe his tears. Hugging him tight.
"I was just angry, I don't hate you I promise. I just need to understand things Channie..." I trail off and look at my hands.
“And that’s okay, you’re still young and I’m going to do whatever it takes to protect you.” He softy says and pulls me into his arms one last time.
“Also I’m sorry for yelling at you during dinner, I put the boys out in time out.”
“You did?”
“Yeah no gaming for the next hour.” He says proudly.
“Ohh that’s a nice one.” I give him a high five while we laugh.
**
Hey *with rizz*😜
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seeingivy · 9 months
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blessing
megumi fushiguro x gn!reader
you and fushiguro talk about names
content: nothing, light mentions of blood
an: your consolation prize - a megumi draft while I edit you belong with me gojo. if your name has a meaning, im sorry it doesn't anymore.
--
“Do you think names are important, Megumi?” 
Megumi flutters his eyes open and squints in the dark to direct his gaze to you. You’re splayed right against his bare chest, nimble fingers drawing indiscernible shapes onto his skin. He knows you can’t sleep after missions, which is the only reason he allows your needless rambling at four in the morning. 
“Is this another of those angel sign things Nobara taught you?” he groans, lifting a hand to place it in your hair, the smell of your strawberry shampoo wafting into his space. 
“It’s angel numbers and astrology signs.” you respond, lightly nudging him with your elbow.
“That stuff isn’t real.” 
“Maybe not Megs, but it’s fun to think about.” 
You look over at him and Megumi can feel his heart thumping in his chest, your expectant eyes staring at him as you wait for a response. And he hates that your stupid eyes always make him give in. 
“Okay, fine. Tell me.” 
You grin and readjust yourself so you’re propped up on his chest, so you can get the perfect vantage point of the grumpy face he’s going to make at you. 
“Some people think names have power. Like, depending on what the meaning of your name is, that can affect how you act and who you are and stuff.” 
He frowns, reaching forward to flick you on the forehead, before grabbing your hand and resting your knuckles against his lips. 
“So you’re saying, if we named our kid asshole, he’d be an asshole?” 
“Our kid would be an asshole because you have an attitude problem. Not because we named him asshole.” 
He rolls his eyes, reaching forward to pinch your cheeks. 
“But think about it, Megs. For example, Yuu’s name means relaxed and caring. Don’t you think that fits him?” 
“Itadori is anything but relaxed, Y/N.” 
“Okay, well. It’s half true. Nobara means thorny. Doesn’t that compliment her cursed technique?” 
“Uh huh. I still don’t buy it.” 
“Or Gojo-sensei. Satoru means understanding, like enlightenment. He’s literally the strongest sorcerer.” 
Megumi wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you up closer to burrow his face into your neck. He loves the smell of your shampoo, of your flowery perfume - but loves it even more when he can smell it on himself the next day. 
“You talk too much, Y/N.” 
“Do you know what your name means Megumi?” 
“No. I’ve never really thought about it.” 
“Your name means blessing.” 
Megumi has never wondered about his name or what it means. All he knows is that when he was younger his dad and Tsumiki’s mom disappeared one day, leaving the two of them alone. That is until Gojo showed up. 
And unlike you, he’s never really thought about these things. Star signs, Enneagram personality types, birth charts, angel numbers. According to you, they’re little signs - from the celestials, the universe, something out there bigger than you two. 
Granted, he knows you’re being silly. That you don’t really believe it. But he can’t help but wonder. If his parents saw him and picked out the perfect name. Or if they saw a baby book and closed their eyes and pointed till they found one they liked. If they named him blessing, because they thought he was one. 
If they were intentional in their love for him, like you have been for the past year, the two of you have been dating. You leave a glass of water on his nightstand, so he makes sure to drink water in the morning. Pick up his drycleaning when you’re on your way home, insisting that it’s no trouble and you’re already there. Tell him to throw pennies in fountains and make a wish just because. 
“I think it fits perfectly, Megs.” you whisper, tracing a little star onto the side of his arm. 
He doesn’t respond, his blue eyes focused on the ceiling above you too. 
“I just mean. Gojo-sensei was probably really lonely after everything that happened with Getou. But you were around and he had you with him, so he wasn’t really lonely. And-and I know Yuuji appreciates being here with you and that he really admires you. Nobara too and-” 
“Y/N.” 
You think back to the mission, earlier today. And it keeps replaying through your mind, every time it’s quiet enough to think about it. 
You let your guard down for a few seconds. A few seconds too many because when you and Yuuji turned around, he was on the floor - thick, red blood spilling out of his forehead. And really, if you weren’t busy discussing what souvenirs to buy on the way out, if you were paying attention, maybe you wouldn’t be the one dragging him back to Shoko’s and watching from a distance with such an intense guilt that it made your stomach burn. 
“I think you’re a blessing too, y’know? Maybe I don’t say it all the time, but I do. I guess it’s just hard to say how you feel sometimes when…I don’t know, we could die tomorrow Megs and-”
Megumi brings his hand back up to your hair, brushing through the tangles at the back as he presses a kiss to the top of your head. You know Megumi. His hand in your hair - to drop it, to let it go. The kiss on your head - that he’s already looked past what happened. 
“What does your name mean, Y/N?” 
“Dunno. Couldn’t really find it in the books or anything.” 
--
You wake up to the left side of the bed empty, the mattress cold and missing a Megumi shaped space. His glass has been drained on the nightstand, meaning he’d probably left already for breakfast. You quickly pad back to your own dorm and pull your uniform on, before joining them all for breakfast. 
You join the three of them at the desk - already loudly arguing about god knows what. You place a hand on Megumi’s shoulder as you slide into the seat next to him, granting you a small smile from him. He places a hand on your thigh and squeezes, another one of Megumi’s silent messages. 
You’re okay. 
Nobara and Yuuji are holding up the name book you had looked at the day prior, Nobara pinching the end of his ear as they argue. 
“This name thing isn’t true. You’re full of shit.” Yuuji complains, pushing the book towards you and Megumi. 
You open up the book, already open to Yuuji’s name at the end of the book. 
“Who the fuck said I thought it was true? It’s just fun to look at.” Nobara responds.
“Well, why did you bring it up? You’re acting like you’re connected with some celestial body shit but you’re just making stuff up.” Yuji responds, standing up. 
The three of them stand up, packing up their things as they get ready to head to training on the field with the second years. You’re still stuck on the book - flipping through to check everyone’s names. Gojo, Shoko, Toge, Maki. 
As you flip through the pages, you note a dark indentation on one of the pages in the middle, and quickly try to flip through to find it again. 
“You coming?” Megumi asks, bag slung over his shoulder at the door. 
“Yeah. I’m coming, give me a second.” 
The three of them shrug as they walk out, their incessant chattering still heard from the window outdoors. You finally find the page and the dark blotches of writing at the bottom. 
Someone’s written in the book, with a black marker. You recognize the handwriting immediately, Megumi’s freakishly neat handwriting inscribed in the book. 
Y/N. Meaning: love or warmth. 
You quickly shut the book and run out, where the three of them are already walking to class. Nobara and Yuuji are now peering over her phone, looking at god knows what, which you take as your opportunity to grab Megumi and lightly drag him back. 
“Megs.” 
“Hm?” 
“Did you write in the book?” 
He rolls his eyes, lightly nudging you with his elbows, as you guys keep walking on. 
“No. I didn’t.” 
“Yes. You did. I know your handwriting, idiot.” 
“No. I didn’t. And even if I did, so what? The book was missing your name.” he responds, pinching his eyebrows as he looks at you.
“Okay. So you did write in it. But you can’t just give my name a meaning, we don’t even know if that’s true.” 
“All words have made up meanings. If someone came up to us and told us that trees are actually called birds, we’d start calling them birds.” 
“Okay but-” 
“I decided. That’s what your name means. Because that’s what you are. Now, be quiet and focus on training.” he responds.
He drops your hand and walks past, stretching in between Nobara and Maki as the group of them start stretching out. He looks over and gives you a soft smile, the one he only reserves for you, and you can only think that you truly are blessed, to be loved by someone like him.
--
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sturniolos-blog · 2 months
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Can you do a dad Matt story but when his daughter is like older (10-13)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
In trouble - Matt Sturniolo x Y/n oneshot
warnings - swearing, kissing, angst, arguing
—————————
12:34pm
"Sure, i'll come pick her up as soon as possible." I put a fake happy tone on my voice as the principle of my 12 daughter Estrella's school tells me i need to come pick her up because she punched a girl in the face.
The principle hangs up the phone as i sigh, tapping my pen twice before grabbing my papers and stacking them on my computer, i worked in an office as a journalist, luckily i already have what i need for my new article im producing.
"Leaving already?" My best friend at the office, Cassidy, asks me.
I nod, "Estrella." I say.
Her eyes widen, "Again? She's been getting in trouble a lot lately, she doing okay?" Cassidy takes a sip of her coffee as she asks.
I shrug, "I honestly don't know. Matt's been working a lot lately, he’s barely home lately and every time he's home we argue, which is probably why she's been acting up. It's not like i have time to punish her with work. And she seems perfectly okay with me taking her phone away, she stays in her room." I rant, i let out a huff.
"Alright, i gotta go, bye Cass." I smile.
"Bye babe, let me know how it goes." She smiles back at me.
—————————
12:48pm
I walk in the schools office, seeing Estrella looking down as she holds an ice pack on her right hand knuckles. I then walk in the principles office.
"Mrs. Sturniolo! Please, have a seat." Ms. Patterson, the principle offers.
I smile, "Hi, uh thanks.." I clear my throat as i take a seat.
Ms. Patterson flashes a smile at me, "So you know why you're here, we spoke on the phone, but i just wanted to give you a run down of what Estrella told me, if that's okay with you?" Ms. Patterson asks as she picks up a paper with notes on it.
I let out a breath and nod.
Ms. Patterson clears her throat, "Right, so when Estrella punched Gia, she said it was because she made fun of her for being stupid, which is obviously not okay, and should've never happened but at this school we do not respond in violence, and this has been the third offense in three weeks with something physical, i'm sorry to say but next time Estrella is looking at suspension or even expulsion." Ms. Patterson tells me.
I sigh and rub my forehead, "But this girl gia, she came at my daughters intellect, shouldn't that have been addressed?" I defend Ella.
Ms. Patterson nods, "Of course, and it was-"
"Was it? Does Gia also have a week of detention like my daughter or..." I trail off, waiting for the principle to speak.
Ms. Patterson lets out a dry cough but shakes her head. "Uh.. no, the insult was overruled once Estrella put her hands on Gia."
I nod, "Right, but if Estrella didn't start a fight, then the teachers would have never known about Gia insulting her, am i right?"
Ms. Patterson furrows her eyebrows, "I'm sorry, Mrs. Sturniolo. I'm not following."
I shrug, "Would Gia have gotten in trouble in the first place for insulting my daughter if Estrella didn't react the way she did or would it have just been ruled off?"
"Uh- well i'm sure a teacher would have heard Gia say some-"
I cut Ms. Patterson off, "And if a teacher didn't?" I ask.
Ms. Patterson stays silent.
"Yeah, right. My daughter would have been screwed either way, sorry but we are done here. Thank you for trying but i am always going to defend my daughter. I do apologize and i hope Gia's nose gets better." I say, standing up and leaving the room.
As i leave the office i see Estrella look up at me.
"Not a word and in the car, now." I demand, pointing at her to walk first.
Estrella goes to speak, "Bu-"
I cut her off, "Not a word."
—————————
1:12pm
We walk in the house and Ella takes off her shoes, she then goes to walk upstairs.
"Where do you think you're going? I've let it slide the past two times because i've been busy but lucky you i finished all my work today so we are going to have a nice long chat. Sit down, Estrella." I cross my arms as i look at her.
She looks at me and stands on the second stair, not moving.
"Estrella Leylani Sturniolo!" I yell.
Estrella jumps as i raise my voice, i was never the parent to yell at her, so that must of scared her.
I clear my throat, "Please sit down, Estrella." My tone lowering as she comes and sits down on the couch.
"You wanna tell me what's going on?" I ask as i stand in front of her.
She shrugs and bites her nails, habit she got from Matt.
"You're going to speak to me." I say but she stays silent. "Now!" I yell.
"Mom, what!?" She yells at me.
I bite my lip and nod, letting out a scoff.
"What's going on with you? Punching a girl in the face? This is your third physical altercation in three weeks! You're going to get expelled, Ella! Do you even care anymore!? You've gotten in more trouble in school then your father and I ever have!" I tell her.
"No, I don't care! I hate school and i hope every time Gia gets a bloody nose she thinks of me!" Estrella uncrosses her arms.
I let out a huff, "Just wait until i call your father. I was gonna give you a chance to explain yourself but you ruined it."
"Go ahead call dad! Maybe he'll actually come home for once!" Estrella stands up now.
I groan in frustration, "God, ella, what are you talking about?!" I scoff.
"Dad is barely home! And when he is all you guys do is argue! I- i thought maybe that if i got in trouble you guys would stop arguing a-and he would come home- and we could be a family again but clearly that's not gonna happen so forget it." Estrella says, running upstairs, i hear her door slam shut.
I sniffle and wipes my eyes, taking my phone out of my pocket and calling Matt.
The phone rings three times before he answers, "Hey, y/n. I'm kind of busy right now can i call you lat-"
I cut him off, "It's Ella. Can you come home, please?" My voice cracks.
"W-what? What's wrong? Is she okay?" Matt asks.
"C-can you just come home?" I ask, my voice evident that i'm on the verge of tears.
"Okay, i'm on my way, baby. Take breaths for me, sweetheart." He says softly, the most civil we've been in a while.
I take a breath like Matt said. "Okay, I love you." I say, almost in a whisper. The last time we said i love you was like two weeks ago.
I hear Matt chuckle, "I love you too, baby. Forever and always." Matt says before hanging up, presumably on his way now.
—————————
1:38pm
I was pacing in the living room, picking at my earlobe as i think of every time i went wrong.
The front door opens and i see Matt walk in, he was wearing a black t shirt, black jean jacket and black cargos.
“What took you so long?” I snap, probably shouldn’t have been my first move.
“Accident on the highway.” He replies, now taking his shoes off and setting his keys down.
“What happened?” He walks towards me.
I give him the write up that Estrella got today.
Matt’s eyebrows furrowed as he reads the paper, him opening his mouth to speak. “Isn’t this her th-”
“-Third time. Yes.” I confirm, nodding as i cross my arms.
Matt lets out a frustrated sigh, handing me back the paper and starting to walk upstairs.
“Matt wait,” I grab his hand.
“Estrella told me the only reason she got in trouble today was because she wanted you to finally come home, and for us to stop arguing.” I tell him.
He looks up at me, his look was upsetting, almost guilty. “What?”
I nod, “She’s been struggling and we haven’t known about it.”
He lets out a breath, him now clearly upset.
“We can call her down here to talk.” I suggest, playing with my fingers.
Matt rubs his stubble and nods, “Okay.”
“Estrella!? Come down here please!” I call out.
I hear her room door open and watch as she walks downstairs. Her eyes flicker between Matt and I and she lets out a huff.
I give her a sad smile, “Sit down, please.” I motion towards the couch.
She looks at me, not moving, like she had done before Matt got home.
“You can listen to your mother, Estrella.” Matt chimes in.
She scratched her head before walking and sitting on the couch, crossing her arms and leaning back.
Matt takes a seat next to her while i stay standing.
“What’s going on, Ella? Mom told me you got in trouble again.” Matt starts, looking at Ella.
Ella bites her lip and shrugs, bringing her nails up to her mouth to bite her nails.
I shake my head, “Tell him what you told me, El.” I say as Matt takes Estrella’s hand out of her mouth.
“You guys argue too much.” Ella says, her eyes flickering over to Matt as she speaks again, “And you’re never home anymore, dad. I miss you. A-and our family.” She says, her voice was quiet but determined to get her point through.
Matt nods, taking in a breath. “Your mother and I are perfectly fine, Ella. We argue yeah, but it’s not anything that deep, we love each other so much, just like we love you so much. And i’ve been working a lot with your uncles, but i can take some time off from now on, would that be okay with you?” He looks at ella, she smiles and nods.
Matt chuckles, “Great. No more getting in trouble, i’m only letting it slide because i know you don’t mean it.” Matt says.
She looks down and nods before Matt brings her into a hug, she hugs back. “Thanks dad..” She whispers against his chest.
He kisses her forehead. “Of course, baby.” He whispers back.
Ella gets up and looks at me, “I’m sorry for being rude, mom.. i don’t mean it, i pinky promise.” She holds her pinky out, i smile, that was a habit she got from me.
I interlock pinkies with her, “It’s okay, my love.” I smile before bringing her in for a hug.
She then goes back upstairs.
Matt stands up and looks at me. “I’m sorry i haven’t been home, and that i’ve been a bad father and husband.” He apologizes.
I shake my head and wrap my arms around his neck, “You’re an amazing husband and an even better father. I argue back all the time too. So as long as we work together we will stop, for ella.”
Matt nods, “For ella.” He then leans in and kisses me.
—————————
Took me too long to write and idk i think my writing has been getting way worse but i hope you guys like this !
taglist: @sturniolosmind @novasturniolo03 @hearts4chriss @vinniehackerslefttoe
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lowkeyrobin · 17 days
Note
hello!!
would you be willing to do a TMR minho fic?
basically just them at the little glade treehouse (i live for that treehouse lol) and maybe they stole some food from frypan and are just chatting and having a laugh together whilst cuddling or something bc they dont get to spend alot of time together as he is always in the maze??
(been loving your writing recently btw, literally one of the v few writers who write for MCYTS and respect their boundaries so tysm!!)
hope ur having a good day:)
oh hell yeah brother LMAO ; also thank you and you're welcome!! im all for respecting boundaries because ik how that feels when they're broken + I'm not a weirdo lol, and thank you for appreciating my work, it means sm to me 🫶🫶🫶 ; have a good day/night :) ; post writing me, sorry this is so short :( ; also I know I said I was in trouble but NEVER BACK DOWN NEVER WHAT??
MINHO ; tree house cuddles
summary ; sneaking food into the tree house and having late night convos with minho
warnings ; language
disclaimers ; reader is a track-hoe, Thomas has been in the maze for months and exists, but no Teresa/escaping the maze
word count ; 459
masterlist
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You loved your beautiful boyfriend Minho. He was an angel sent from above, truly. Or... maybe below? The box and what existed out of the Glade was confusing, sadly. God, you wished you could remember anything outside of here.
Sadly, you hadn't seen him very much recently.
He'd been busy with his duties in the maze and the Map Room, and you've been busy working in the gardens damn near all day every day. Your rations were running low, the crops were growing slower than ever, and you couldn't figure out why. It's not like there were deer or raccoons feasting on them either. It was just you Gladers here, nothing else. You'd been stressing out over it and needed some time away from it for a while.
Thankfully, the beloved tree house existed, and rarely anyone used it.
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You'd stolen a basket of fruit from Fry's kitchen, awaiting the arrival of Minho. Hopefully, Newt stuck to his word, or remembered to, to send Minho to the tree house to spend some time with you.
Thankfully, the beautiful Korean boy showed up, dressed casual and out of the heavy gear he had to wear in the maze. He greeted you with a tired yet warm smile, sitting down with you on the wooden floor.
"Hey, how's your day?" He asks, sitting next to you, shoulder to shoulder.
You hand him a little basket of strawberries. "Fine, I guess." You shrug, "Need a minute away from the gardens"
He nods, "I need a minute away from the shuckin' maze"
You dangle your feet off the side of the platform, soaking up each other's presence.
He pulls you into his lap, between his legs. He rests his chin on your shoulder while his arms rest around your waist. You feel your stomach swarm with butterflies, resting your hands over his.
"I love you" He whispers, placing a kiss on your temple.
"Love you too, dork," you reply with a smile, leaning your head back to rest yourself against him.
"What a romantic" He giggles, pulling you a little closer.
The night continues on in peace, smiles, giggles and kisses shared, hands intertwined. You share your body heat, cuddled up and comfy.
"No, no, no, he said something like he was gonna beat him back into the box! How does that even work? Gally acts like Thomas is some universal threat or something" You laugh as you speak.
"I have no idea, darling." He smiles and chuckles, listening to you ramble on and on about stories he'd missed during the day.
You look up at him and place a kiss on his jawline, a stupid smile on his face.
"Love you"
"Love you too"
"...Thanks for being mine"
"Okay, shut up, shank"
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hobie-enthusiast · 10 months
Text
UNLIKELY CLASH !
— rulebreaker!hobie brown x perfectionist!gn!reader
— enemies to lovers, fluff, cursing (a lot tbh), arguments, character development, secret relationships, gossip, kissing, sneaking around, hobie is shirtless (its for one part for comfort)
— hobie brown was everything you weren’t, so maybe that’s what attracted the two of you together so well (pt. 3)
— part 3 woohoo! shoutout to 🫓 anon for the idea and honestly part 4 maybe? i have an idea brewing
— part 1 | part 2 | part 3 (here)
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Sneaking around with Hobie Brown was truly exhilarating.
After the event in the supply closet, he declared you to be in a relationship (that’s about as far as he would label it). Only problem was it had to stay secret. Your reputation was on the line, and being with Hobie could label you as trouble alone. Plus, Hobie hated labels.
So a secret relationship ensued. For two months worth of sneaking around during school hours to rooftop dates, the two of you avoided all judging eyes. You were content with that, and so was he.
That was, until your grades started to slip.
It truly wasn’t a big deal. 100’s turned into 90’s, and you still maintained your A’s. But that wasn’t good in your parent’s eyes. They noticed the weird absences for singular classes. When you said it was for academic competitions, they grew even more weary.
A confirmation was apparent to them when you climbed in through your window while they were awaiting your arrival. They wanted to talk with you about the grades, only to find you missing. Of course they were worried, but they still found themselves more angry than not.
“What is going on with you?” Your mom questions, arms crossed. “It’s like we don’t even know you anymore!”
“Mom, stop, please.”
“No, that’s not how you’ll speak to her.” Your dad interjected.
You groan, sitting at your desk. “Nothing’s going on! I’m doing perfectly fine.”
Your dad raises an eyebrow and scoffs. “Yeah, because sneaking through the window and skipping classes is ‘fine’.”
“I’m not skipping classes!”
“Oh so you want to lie?” Your mom questions.
“Why won’t you believe me?” You ask. Of course you were lying, they couldn’t know about Hobie. “I’m still doing great. Keeping up. It’s normal teenage stuff.”
Your dad shakes his head. “Nope. I don’t think so.” He declares, crossing to the door. “As of right now, you aren’t going to prom. Maybe that’ll teach you to not sneak around and lie.”
“What?!” Your eyes widen as you stand. You turn to your mom. “Are you seriously going to let this happen?!”
“Let it be a lesson, [Name]. Get your act together.”
Your parents walked out of your room, and you groan in frustration. Tears pricked the corners of your eyes. You wanted to go to prom! The nice outfits, the dancing, and maybe even convincing Hobie to go was your plan. Now you couldn’t.
You angrily grab your phone, typing to Hobie before tossing your phone away.
Me (9:42 pm):
My parents banned me from going to prom.
Hobie <3 (9:42 pm):
???
why?
Me (9:46 pm):
Caught me sneaking through the window and cornered me. Said I was skipping classes and told me that I needed to “get my act together”.
It’s absolute bullshit.
Hobie <3 (9:46 pm):
shit im sorry sweetheart
give me 5 minutes
You smile gingerly at the phone, moving to lock your room door. You knew Hobie was already on his way, so you had to ensure your parents wouldn’t get you in more trouble. That’s the last thing you needed.
You sat in silence by your door, trying your hardest not to cry over the situation. It was rough.. you never disappointed your parents before like this. They always thought highly of you, but now they didn’t, and this feeling wasn’t kind.
A knock on the window stole you away from your pity. Glancing up, you move to open the window, Hobie entering and immediately hugging you tightly.
You couldn’t help but let out a choked sob at the warmth. “Oh swee’heart.. shh, ‘s okay..”
“But it isn’t!” You respond, pulling away and wiping your face. “I know this may seem stupid but I was looking forward to.. I don’t know.. having a genuine date to prom. I was going to ask if you wanted to go with me, become public, all that stuff. And now I can’t!” You finish, plopping down on your bed.
Hobie’s eyes widen before a sigh escapes his lips. He didn’t know you wanted to go public, not at all. Of course, everyone already had their suspicions after the incident in the hallway. But no one knew you actually were together. Just thought of it as Hobie being Hobie.
He sits next to you, draping an arm around you. In response, you lean against him with a deep breath.
“It isn’t just about prom. I’ve never.. seen my parents so disappointed in me. And I don’t get it. I’m still a great student. Like.. it doesn’t make sense, y’know?”
“I get ‘t. But they put a lot ‘f pressure on ya. Can’t let this get t’ ya.” He explains, a soothing hand rubbing your arm.
You sigh. “I can’t help it. I..” You want to say you love them, because you do. But you aren’t doing this for love. “…want them to care.”
Well that wasn’t what Hobie was expecting.
He says no more words, just holding you closely. He soon finds himself hearing you request he stay, him holding you close, underneath your blankets. He knew this was bad, if your parents walked in it wouldn’t end well. But it was alright. He could just.. keep you safe for a little while. That’s what his job is.
His job as.. as..
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
Your eyes adjust to the light pouring in, a groan escaping your lips. You’re about to turn over and stretch when you feel yourself trapped. Glancing down, you see some familiar hands and rings.
The warmth elicited from Hobie was amazing. You let out a content sigh, savouring the moment with him.
Once Hobie awakens, which was possibly two minutes after you, you turn to him with a small smile. “Can’t believe you slept in your jeans and jewelry.”
“Eh, ‘ur worth the discomfor’.” He responds, a yawn escaping his lips.
“That’s.. corny as hell.”
Hobie grins, pulling you closer to him. “You make me wanna be corny, hm?”
Before you could respond, a knock comes at your door. Your mom’s voice rang on the other side, causing both of you to shoot up.
“Honey? Can I come in?”
“Shit!”
You stand from the bed, almost falling in the process, trying to fix up the scene. You usher Hobie up, who happened to be shirtless for comfort, into your closet.
“Woah woah, slow down darlin’.” He says as you shove him. His eyes glance over at something before he looks back, not saying anything on it.
That’ll be fun.
You glare at him. “Hobie Brown, you are currently shirtless in my room, slept in the same bed as me, with my mom on the other side of the door. The one who just got me in trouble for going from an A plus to an A minus. Get in the damn closet.”
He says no more, instead putting his hands up as you shove him into the closet, shutting the door. You fix up your hair before unlocking the door, opening it with the best smile you can manage.
“Hey mom.” You speak casually. “What’s up?”
She smiles back, pushing past you into your room. “Just wanted to say.. don’t take your father’s punishment too hard. He just wants what’s best for you.” She says, cleaning up some things that are out and about.
“Oh yeah! No it’s okay I’m just-”
Suddenly she stops, picking up Hobie’s shirt that lied on your desk chair. “Who’s is this..?”
You pale, clearing your throat. “No one’s! Just.. a gift I got.. couple days ago..?” You say in an almost convincing tone.
She eyes you suspiciously before shrugging, tossing it back onto the chair. You silently breath a sigh of relief, anxiety still in your heart. You’ve never hid a boy before in your closet; not a universal experience.
“…you understand? We’re just concerned.”
“Y-yeah! I get it.” You respond, not knowing what your mom said.
She smiles, walking over and ruffling your hair. “Good. I love you, honey.”
You mutter it back as she exits the room, closing the door behind her. You let out an exasperated breath before running to open the closet door. Hobie can only let out a chuckle as you slam in shirt into his chest.
“Damn you!”
“Oh come on. ‘t was excitin’.” He responds, following you back into the room.
You glare back at him as you sit on the bed with a huff. You cross your arms, as if pretending to be mad, turning away from Hobie. He rolls his eyes as his shirt slips back on.
He takes a seat next to you and plants a soft kiss on your head. “Ah.. Can’t stay mad a’ me. Ya like me t’ much for that.”
“Whatever.”
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
“I’m sorry.. what?!”
“Shh, keep it down!” You shush your friend, shoving their shoulder. “Seriously, it’s whatever.”
They look at you with still complete shock. “Whatever? Whatever?! You’ve been looking forward to prom tomorrow for months! How could they?”
You sigh, stopping in front of your locker. “It’s because of the small slip in my grades.” You explain, turning toward your friend.
“You mean the measly five percent? You’re still top of the class!”
“Trust me, I know.”
You open up your locker, and a small piece of paper falls out. You smile and pick it up, opening it up. You already had a feeling who it was from.
‘downtown apartments tmrw night. dress nicely. got a surprise for u. - h.b’
As you read the note, your friend seems to notice what you have. They glance over, only to see the initials it was signed by before you stuff it away.
“Secret admirer?” They question, holding their books closely.
You laugh, shutting the locker. “Mhm, you know how it is.”
As the two of you walk down the hallway, you manage to see Hobie standing at the corner, seemingly watching you while chatting with a friend. You smile slyly and he winks when you pass by.
‘Oh.. holy shit oh!’
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
The next day came, and with it, prom night. You were bummed, truly. Though, maybe a small hangout with Hobie was certainly enough to get you cheered up.
You told your parents you were going to the library, to try and catch up. Luckily, they didn’t question you. Just sent you on your way and told you to be careful. That’s when you rushed to the bathroom to change into nicer clothes and snuck out after.
Hobie waited for you outside the apartments, like asked. For the first time in a while, he wore a button up instead of his vest. His pants remained the same, but he looked more done-up.
And it was worth it when he saw you.
“Well well. Who’s date are ya?” He asks with a small smirk.
You groan, shoving his arm. “Truly hilarious, Hobie. Gotta say, you clean up nice.”
“I manage.” He shrugs, placing a hand on the small of your back. “C’mon. ‘s upstairs. ‘nd close ya eyes.” He requests, prompting a suspicious look from you.
Once he was able to assure you that he wasn’t a killer, he led you to the rooftops. After some bumps and near-falls, he managed to make it, telling you to wait a moment while he ran off.
Hobie returned behind you, breathing in your ear. “‘right swee’heart, open ‘ur eyes.”
What greeted you were strung up lights, a couple of balloons, and a blanket on the ground. Some snacks lied there with the blanket, and soft music was playing in the background; your shared playlist to be exact.
“Hobie..”
“Su’prise. Figured ‘s the next bes’ thing, hm?” He whispers, hands gently holding your arms. “Jus’ the two of us. ‘nd ‘s free.”
You laugh gently, turning to face Hobie. “You did all this?”
He nods, and you can’t help but lean forward and hug him tightly. He didn’t understand, not by a long shot, why anyone would want to go to prom. But he still helped you, made it up for you. And that was the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you.
Pulling away, you plant a gentle kiss on his jaw. “Thank you, seriously. I thought I was going to spend tonight sulking.”
Hobie laughs quietly, pulling you towards the make-shift prom. There isn’t much to do, but the two of you share snacks and drinks, dance a small bit, and just talk a lot. It was quiet with just the two of you, much nicer than a normal prom.
You noticed how close Hobie wanted to be with you. He was always touching you; holding your hand, waist, or fingers. It was so.. out of character. Yet, you felt amazed at how comfortable he was with you after everything before to now.
When the two of you settle on the blanket, you silently watch the sunset. Your head lies in Hobie’s chest while he strokes your hair contently.
“‘ve been thinkin’.” Hobie starts, glancing down before looking up again. “‘bout what ya said. Goin’ public ‘nd stuff.”
“Oh? That was just-”
Hobie cuts you off. “‘f ‘s what ya wan’, le’s do it.”
Your eyes light up as you sit up, turning to face him. “Seriously? You’re okay with getting labeled as my boyfriend? Just like that?”
“‘f ‘ur fine with gettin’ labeled as trouble.” He responds confidently, a smirk on his face. “‘s not easy.”
You smile gently, kissing Hobie gently on the lips, his lip ring giving a cool and sensational feeling. He grunts for a moment before grabbing your waist, kissing back. He’s obsessed with you, the way you feel on him and here in this moment. His brain goes haywire every-time he’s near you.
When you pull away, you place a gentle hand on his cheek. “It’ll be easy if we’re together, hm?”
“‘s the spiri’. Now, dance wit’ me, yeah?”
He stands you up to dance with him, the music playing a softer yet harsh tune to dance to. But you both didn’t care. You simply danced and swayed together, twirling and sharing laughs and kisses.
As Hobie dances and kisses you again and again, his thoughts run. He was used to being labeled; as a hero for Spider-punk, as a rebel for school, and as scary all around. But this label he’s creating for himself - it’s better than the others. One that he controls and more importantly, let’s them know that he’s got you. That he was given a chance and proved himself.
But of course he would never admit that.
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
The weekend comes and goes, and soon, it’s Monday, and your standing outside the school. You and Hobie both agreed to meet at the front of the school, walk in together, act as if all was normal. Treat it like another day.
“Hope I didn’ keep ya waitin’.” A voice calls from behind.
You turn and smile as Hobie makes his way up the steps. He leans down to kiss you, causing a few lingering students outside to gasp. He smirks when he pulls away, holding his hand out.
“Rea’y?”
You nod. “Absolutely.”
With a deep breath, you open the doors, walking in hand-in-hand with Hobie. He told you before to stand straight, to look confident, so you did. You looked forward, ignoring the gasps and stares you both got.
Everyone was going to go nuts about your relationship, it was quite annoying. They needed excitement in their lives, so on they go to bother the two of you. But you both agreed you were ready to ignore it. It was one of the terms to going public.
“Holy shit! Dude look, [Name] [Last] and Hobie Brown!”
“Holding hands? When did they start dating? Or.. even talking?”
“Girl remember, they kissed in the hallway that one time!”
“How could I forget?!”
Hobie grit his teeth as you squeezed his hand, opening up your locker. “Sorry.. maybe we shouldn’t have-”
“Don’t.” Hobie immediately stops you, leaning against the wall. “Don’ regre’ i’ jus’ because of those planks, hm? All tha’ ma’ters ‘s us.”
You sigh, shutting the door as you kiss his cheek. “You’re right. Thanks.”
“C’mon, ‘ll walk ya t’ class.”
“But you’ll be late if you do..”
You both look at each other before busting out laughing. Of course Hobie didn’t care, it was funny in itself. You were even able to ignore the annoying stares everyone around you were giving. Instead, the two of you walked off in blissful ignorance.
Maybe being with Hobie Brown would be easier than you thought.
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tags for those who wanted it (🫶); @serenn08 | @babydollfoster | @em711 | @girl-detective16 | @midnightnoiserose
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brighttears · 1 year
Note
hi! back again with another request, i hope that’s ok! if not then totally ignore this. For the request: could we get a jealous reader? Im always seeing Fics where Joel is jealous and would like to see that changed up! Maybe she sees Joel hanging around another woman more his age and she gets insecure, idk it’s totally up to you how it happens. if you do take this request then thank you so much, if it’s not something you’re interested in writing then that’s ok too and thank you for your fics!! <3
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Joel Miller x reader
No physical description except for having hair, leaning fem but no pronouns or explicit mentions, no use of y/n 
Warnings: age-gap, mentions of sex, drinking, Angst (happy ending), pet names (honey), you have a big fight :,(
Word Count: 1.6k
A/n: omg love this idea. Thank you for the request you’re so sweet and I’m happy to do them !! helps so much with writer's block plus I get to do cool stuff like this lol. This was challenging so I hope it doesn't disappoint :P
P.s. if any of yall’s name is Emily i apologize just replace it with the name of someone you hate lol
Even from all the way across the bar, you’re burning up, watching the way the woman in front of Joel twirls her hair and flashes her teeth when she laughs over enthusiastically at his jokes. Thankfully his back is to you so you can’t be tortured by whatever his expression—or wherever he’s looking—may be. 
Ever since you got to Jackson women have been crowding Joel like he’s the only man on the commune and it’s been driving you up the wall. You want to go over and give Joel a big wet kiss and tell her to fuck off, but you and him have never had a discussion about ‘us’, so you have no real right to claim him. Still, it burns, and that woman, Emily, as you’ve come to learn her name, as Joel’s number one fan, has such a punchable face. A matching burn of the whisky from your glass is welcomed down to your stomach.
When she leans forward, showing off the goods, you can’t stand it anymore, down the dregs of your drink and storm out of the Tipsy Bison. The icy breeze cools you down some but you’re in no way calm once you’re back at the house. Stomping up to your room—you and Joel’s room, you strip your jacket and immediately grab your gun to deep clean. Icey pain drips from your heart down into the crater of lava in your chest and it hisses in your ears.
Sitting at the head of the bed, you’re almost done with the fourth cleaning when Joel’s recognizable stomps sound with the creaking and slam of the front door. You continue to clean, not looking up when he comes in. 
“Hey,” he says breathily, innocently. 
“Hm. I’m surprised you even came home.” you reply, still not looking up. Still aflame, you keep a mostly even tone but Joel easily catches the pointy edges. 
He pauses, then finishes kicking off his boots to straighten up and turn to you, “An’ why’s that?”
“I mean I thought I wouldn't see you until tomorrow morning on your walk of shame from Emily’s house.” you keep your focus on the final wipe down of your gun.
“What?” 
“What? Can’t blame me, I saw her eyefucking you. Basically shaking her tits in your face, too. Didn’t stay long though, it was actually kind of fucking gross.” 
“Beg your fuckin’ pardon?”
“Oh, don’t act stupid.” you finally meet his gaze, “Don’t worry, you’re not in trouble. Go fuck whoever you want. I guess it’s none of my business. Would have been nice to know that that was the deal here before we started sharing an actual bed, though.” you go back to overpolishing the metal, trying to act nonchalant, but your chest is full of mud. 
“What makes you think I’m goin’ around fuckin’ other women?” 
“Well, now that you’ve got the pick of the litter, why settle for me?” you finally place your gun down loudly on the nightstand. 
Joel raises his voice in sternness, “What the fuck r’you talkin’ about?”  
You take a deep breath through your nose, refusing to let your anger go, but the icey, tight pain is tearing at your heart and you can’t stop it from piercing through your voice when you say, “I just—I just thought it was me, I thought it was me you wanted.”
“What—’course you’re—where’s all this comin’ from?” 
You stand to face him and scoff, “Please, you think I don’t see the way the women here have been looking at you? They drool all over you, and you just let them, you throw ‘em a smile.” you voice is teeming with attitude, “Never saying a word to me about it. What is it, are you ashamed of me? I have to be your little secret? I’m just some young—some young…” you stop yourself before you finish a sentence you know you’ll regret, no matter how much you want to stick him with it, but it’s too late.
Joel steps one foot towards you and shoves his finger out, glowering, “Good call not finishin’ that sentence.” he growls, “I don’t know who the fuck you’re talkin’ to though cause it sure as hell ain’t me.”
You pick your fire right back up, “I thought maybe I’d be good enough but there's things I don’t have, huh? Need a woman more your speed? Well, you’re free to let Emily fuck you better, just please don’t bring her back here, okay?” you end it with your voice drenched in sarcasm.
It’s Joel’s turn to scoff now, “What the fuck are you talkin’ about? I don’t give a shit about Emily! I’m not fuckin’ her! Wh—” Joel narrows his eyes, “You tryin’ to say I’m a cheater? Is that it? That's what you think a me?” 
“N–no,” you stutter, suddenly realizing that that is what you’re accusing him of. 
Near shouting, he continues, “You don’t trust me. That's what this is about.” 
“No, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that,” you move towards him but he steps back.
“How the hell else am I supposed’t take that?”
“I’m just scared.” the confession jumps out of you.
“Scared of what?” he shouts.
“Of you leaving me!” your voice breaks and you choke back the onset of a sob, but Joel loses no venom.
“You’re scared of me leaving? After all this time—after everything, you think I’m—I’d—I don’t want to leave you! Talkin’ to Emily, I was just tryin’ t’be fuckin’ polite, be,” he takes another step towards you, “social, that’s all! You think I can’t talk to women without tryna get in their pants? Is that really the kinda man you think I am? Should I stop talkin’ to Maria, too? Cause I’m such a piece a shit cheater I’m probably tryna get at her, too, huh? My own brother's wife? That’s what you think a me?” 
“No,” you nearly scream, hitting your hands to your head to grab at your hair, “that’s not what I mean, that’s not what I’m trying to say!”
“Then what are you trying to say?” He yells back.
Your chest is starting to heave, beginning to be overwhelmed with emotion, but you try to keep it under control, not wanting to break down in the middle of an argument. “I just hate seeing it! I hate seeing the women here fucking crawling all over you like cats in heat and you just fucking take it, like you want it, you want them, not me, now that I’m not the only option, you’ve got all these pretty women just waiting for you to knock on their fucking door, and I was just—just—”
“What, just some young pussy?” Joel snarls.
“No one that mattered! No one special! And all of it was empty, all the words, the sex, the time we shared, I was just a placeholder for a proper woman, cause I’m not good enough, was never good enough for you…” your voice shatters as the whirling in your head and heart overcomes you and you step back until the back of your knees hit the bed, then flump down and put your head in your hands, trying not to sob.
Instinctually, Joel comes to kneel before you, his anger beginning to melt away when his attention shifts to you in pain. He takes your wrists to uncover your face, saying nothing, only focusing your eyes and his, now gentle, as you continue to try to control your jumping breaths. After a few moments of you unsuccessfully calming yourself, Joel moves his hand to stroke your cheek, over the side of your face, into your hair. When your breathing has calmed some, he looks over your face and wipes away the few escaped tears. “I hate it when you cry but you look so pretty when you do.” he tells you, soft and quiet, pulling a small laugh out of you. Once your inhales and exhales are at an even pace, he speaks up again, with a soothing tone, “Okay. Now I’ve calmed down, n’ you’ve calmed down.” he takes a deep breath and you do with him, like you’ve learned to, before he continues, “I know all a that was just outta anger. N’ we’re just not at an understandin’ here… Honey I’m in love with you.” 
His words make you take a deep, post-cry shuddering breath. Remembering you have to say something back, you whisper, “I’m in love with you, too.”
After a few silent but full moments with Joel stealing glances at your lips, he asks, “Can I kiss you?”
You nod your head as you’re already leaning in as a response. Your lips essentially smash together, want igniting in both of you. You lean forward until he’s on the floor and you’re sitting on top of him, both hands holding his face while one of his clutches your hip and the other slides over your jaw and into your hair. Then Joel pushes you up and onto the bed, nosing into your neck from above you, sticking wet kisses all up and down it while your hands tangle in his hair. He slows and drags kisses back up to your mouth. Sounding drunk, Joel finds time between your mouths to say “Don’ want no one else.”
Between kisses you continue to converse, “So can I punch Emily in the face?”
“Mmm, I don't think Maria would like that very much. Why don’tcha just give me a big sloppy kiss next time she won't leave me th' fuck alone?”
“I can do that. Can we hold hands?”
“Yeah we can do that. Can I squeeze yer ass?”
“Only when someone’s looking. You can do it when they're not either but I would prefer if you did it while you know one of those alley cat’s watchin’.”
“Mhm. Every time. Let em’ all know.”
“You know, you’re gonna have a lot less friends once I scare all of them away.”
“Fuckin’ fine by me. I got everyone I need already.”
467 notes · View notes
a-boca-do-inferno · 1 year
Text
trouble with a capital T (tony montana x reader)
summary: (y/n) has an unexpected admirer.
warnings: angst, smut-bit of a size kink? idk u tell me, violence, drugs, abuse, dubcon, blood, swearing, domestic abuse, fluff and a little stalking ig. also tony montana
words: 8.9k
notes: this is toxic asf pls beware when reading it. also reader here is stupid asf for narrative purposes do not be like that irl im begging you. i rly have a concerning taste in men and if someone ever finds this i dont kno any of you <3 enjoy!
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There’s this new guy in town who looks like trouble with a capital “T”. Everyone has seen him in person, except (y/n). However, by the stories and theories she hears, the figure of this man becomes even more macabre. Nobody knows his real name. He’s known only as Scarface, which should be an indicator of his perhaps not-so-scary nature, but (y/n) is a bit of a coward, if she’s being honest.  
Still, when the girl thinks of him, she likes to imagine he has his own reasons for doing what people say he does. It is a morally questionable service, certainly illegal—considerably inhumane—, yet something inside of her extends this guy the benefit of the doubt. It’s not an uncommon theme in Florida, anyway, selling drugs and whatnot, so perhaps Scarface isn’t of all bad. He is still surely just a man, right? But when she received Elvira’s messages saying there was a shooting in her neighborhood, and that Scarface was arrested for allegedly taking part in it, (y/n) felt a little overwhelmed about her previous considerations. Even if the guy wasn’t the devil like everyone made him to be, he was a criminal. A violent one at that, putting innocent people’s lives in danger, like her friend’s. 
She couldn’t go see Elvie that day, but (y/n) told her she’d drop by as soon as possible. Elvira sent some pictures of her neighbor’s window with bullet holes, six of them. The neighbor was a man who lived alone and listened to loud music all day on Sundays. Why anyone would have ordered his death, they had no idea. But then again, (y/n) didn’t really trust men who’d hit on women even after being told “no” a couple of hundred times. It wouldn’t surprise her at all if he was a rapist, or a pedophile, or both. Anything was possible nowadays. The neighbor managed to escape the sniper’s attack and left through the back, anyway, and Elvira said he entered the backyard of her house to protect himself. She was really lucky that by that time, the police had already arrived at the scene and readily took the shooter into custody.  
Scarface, according to Elvie’s description, was a short, rustic-looking man. He was white, but sunburned, with a stylish haircut reminiscent of the ‘80s and a shaven face. His eyes were big and dark, with a prominent nose, and there was a scar on his left eye, which obviously earned him the infamous nickname. He walked around with a worn Hawaiian shirt and a white wifebeater under it, the one everybody says he’s always wearing; from the waist down, he had shabby jeans held up by a leather belt and old-fashioned cowboy boots. The kind they used to wear in the Wild West, probably.  
The guy was just an almost cartoonish figure, a villain straight out of some children’s TV show. And still, somehow, he was the terror of this city as of lately. Everyone licked his balls in an attempt to spare their own lives. Uselessly, of course, since he didn’t seem to have any real consideration for anyone or anything, except for money. So, it wasn’t exactly a certainty that he wouldn’t kill any of his so-called “friends” downtown, unless they owned something valuable to him—drugs, for instance. 
And him being detained now, for the hundredth time that month, wasn’t really a relief, since he would soon be out. Because no one could ever catch him in the act—he was a professional, after all—, his stay in the precinct’s modest jail was only for a few hours. At most one night. Five hundred, even a thousand dollars in bail—or a bribe, in fact—was enough for the sheriff to release him with a faithful promise he would see Scarface again the following week. And it was no sooner said than done. 
Nobody knew where he lived. There were rumors his home was in the neighborhood next to (y/n)’s, but it was never confirmed. It also wouldn’t make any difference to know where his residence was. Again: the guy was a professional. Even the mayor licked the floor he walked. But Scarface also had his enemies, obviously. On her block alone there were four or five men who would kill him in broad daylight with their bare hands, if given the chance. She didn’t know the story very well, but it obviously had something to do with settling scores. It always did.  
Scarface, the cowboy-boots and burnt-skin, revolver-stuck-to-spine and walk-of-an-insufferable-bastard Scarface, was the greatest example of how the universe does not give any tips. The divine does not send signs. And when it does, it’s a bullet in the head, right in the middle of your eyebrows. Scarface is the universal clue of at least three people a week, but no one recognizes him as such. They’d rather bow to his feet, fearing for their lives, as if the devil had any sympathy in him in the first place. It was a funny paradox. Furthermore, the universe is also a sneaky son of a bitch. So, of course her brother would get into some trouble and end up in jail. And of course he would ask (y/n) to save his ass as she often did.  
She quickly turned around the way she was making to the supermarket and parked in front of the station, luckily only a few blocks away from her destination. The girl entered the room in silence and wrinkled her nose slightly at the strong smell of pee and cigarettes coming from the back, where the small jail was. In the waiting room, there were only two men sitting with their heads down and a guard in front of the hallway that led to the detainees.  
(y/n) went to talk to the guard and before disappearing, he told her to wait right there. She took a sit as far away from the two ominous-looking men as possible and pretended to be fiddling with her phone. In fact, she was distressed. Despite Manny being known for his little transgressions, he’d never been arrested before, so she had also never been to a police station up until that point. Her heart was pounding in her chest and her fingers were trembling slightly.  
The guard finally returned and she let out a sigh of relief. He handed her some paperwork to fill and she paid the bail in silence. While she gave him her signature, loud voices and laughter could be heard approaching in the hallway next to the waiting room. The laughter was undeniably masculine, a deep voice reverberating through the walls of the quiet police station. (y/n) held her breath as her eyes landed on brown shoes touching the floor. She didn’t dare look up and quickly finished signing the papers, going back to her chair while the guard went to get Manny.  
She stared down at her phone, her heartbeat speeding up again. The disturbing laughter ceased and the girl heard a rattle of keys followed by another clang. A thick accent thanked someone and (y/n) let out her breath, thinking he was leaving at last, but the heavy boots made their way to the water cooler right next to her. She bit her lip and sighed shakily, still not daring to look up. The way he was standing betrayed the lack of care for his spine, as he was unnecessarily leaning too far back. His loud gulps almost made (y/n) roll her eyes, despite her nervousness. He really looked like he came out of a cartoon with such deliberately theatrical behaviour.  
The two men sitting away from her got up at the same time and walked out of the station, leaving just Scarface, another guard who was on the computer, and her. But as she had no luck, a voice called that damn guard and he left them both alone in the waiting room. At that point, (y/n) knew the asshole was just messing around with that glass of water he’d been drinking for the past two minutes. And for that reason, she decided to stand up straight and look at him. There was nothing to fear. She had nothing to do with his drug shenanigans. 
The girl was only still hesitant of Scarface maybe trying to do something inappropriate, but she didn’t have time to run when he threw the cup in the trash and sat down on the empty chair right next to her. That man’s sly smile and predatory gaze made her shiver from head to toe. “Mornin’”, he states, his deep voice very close to her ear.  
(y/n) turned to look at him and kept her expression solemn. “Morning”, she simply replies, and perhaps it comes out too imposing, because Scarface raises his eyebrows and looks at her with some humor.  
“A tough one, huh? Just the way I like it.”  
She wants to laugh at his words, but only shakes her head. “Are you fucking serious? You wish....” 
“I wish what?”, he grabs her face tightly, forcing her to look at him. (y/n) freezes under his touch and can’t hide her panicked expression. He smiles satisfied and moves closer to her. “Your mama never told you not to talk to strangers, huh?”, she tries to pull away from his grip, but he pushes his fingers harder against her cheeks to the point of hurting. “Answer me.”  
“You’re not a stranger, Scarface”, she grins and he lets go of her at last. (y/n) takes a deep breath and clears her throat, checking the time and tucking her phone into her front pocket. Thankfully, Manny’s voice is approaching in the hallway and she gets up, giving the guy a scowl. “I know you think you own this town, but remember you’re still just a guy. Get over yourself.”  
“Oh, I know”, Scarface mutters, smirking like she’d just told him a great joke. He stands up and tries to touch her again, but (y/n) manages to avoid it. He then pulls her closer by the waist for a split second, as the guard and her brother appear in that instant. The man lets go of her quickly, and before he leaves, he flashes her a wink, “have a good day, baby.” 
She watches angrily as Scarface disappears, caressing her aching face. The girl turns around to find Manny with a sorry expression, and she clenches her jaw. “Let’s go”, it’s all she says, walking out of the station without waiting for him. 
♡♡♡ 
A week after that incident, (y/n) never left the house again. Until today, that is; she only went to her brother’s because he was starting to get a little worried about her confinement. She didn’t think of telling him why she was hiding for protection, because the less her family knew about that crazy drug dealer bothering her, the better.  
(y/n) walked out of her car fast so she wouldn’t bump into Scarface on the street by any chance. Although it was pretty unlikely to happen, seeing as he didn’t usually hang out in her neighborhood, but she wouldn’t take any risks. No one besides herself knew what went on in the station and she didn’t intend to tell anyone else. The girl didn’t even know if she should have told anyone in the first place. The guy had this city in his hands. If he wanted to find her, it was a snap of his fingers.  
But of course, (y/n) couldn’t run away forever. And the day she decided she’d go to Manny’s without any fear, while she was sitting on the sofa, that damned thick accent came from the front door. She widened her eyes and got up quickly, but when the girl reached the kitchen door, her scared expression met the man’s pleased one. He was smiling at something her brother was saying, however, as soon as he saw her, the mirth on his features was borderline sickening. Still, he visibly tried to play it cool because Manny was there.  
(y/n) pretended not to care as she made her way to the bathroom and locked herself there, hands shaking violently. She sent millions of desperate messages to Elvira. The voices continued to chatter excitedly, as if it were the most natural thing in the world to have Scarface at her brother’s place. Like they were buddies. 
Suddenly there was silence and someone knocked on the bathroom door slowly, barely audible. Her heart raced and she felt a lump forming in her throat, eyes watering without warning. Another knock. She put her phone away and slowly opened the door, not knowing what else to do or where else to go. The man’s intimidating presence greeted her and a victorious grin hovered on his lips. (y/n) looked into the living room for Manny, but there was no one. He seemed to have left for some reason, and she felt her world fall apart.  
The girl stared back at Scarface and he was now serious, examining her body up and down with no shame. “So you’re family, huh?”, he muses, his terrifying voice making her shiver sharply. She sighed and went to sit back in the couch, accompanied by him, who was leaning against the doorway and still gazed at her without blinking. “When they told me you were Manny’s lil’ sis, I couldn’t believe it, baby! But here you are, I guess that makes him my brother-in-law”, he states, content as a child who solves a puzzle. “He told me you live alone, right? I might pay you a visit someday.”  
“Right”, she merely scoffs, attempting her best not to show the shift in her seat hearing his words. 
He smiles macabre, moving his index finger from side to side in denial. “You don’t talk to me like that, tigress. Let’s start there”, he looks around, making sure Manny’s still not there, and approaches her. (y/n) instinctively pulls away and he grabs her face just like before, forcing her to glance at him. “You don’t talk to me like that. Got it?” She doesn’t answer and he squeezes her cheeks even more, making her let out a groan of pain. “Got it?”  
“Got it”, she spits out, begrudgingly.  
(y/n) thinks he’s going to let go, finally, but first he gives her an awkward, aggressive peck on the lips. She instantly shoves him and wipes her mouth to somehow undo that contact. Scarface laughs, “you’re so cute, baby.”  
“What are you doing with my...” 
Manny arrived as soon as she closed her mouth, readily engaging in another conversation with Scarface while ignoring her presence there. They talk about people and places she knew nothing about, it sounded like a bunch of codes, and she gaped at each sentence they exchanged. How the hell did they know each other? What was that asshole doing with her brother?!  
Dinner came and Scarface—his name was never mentioned, for some reason, and she wasn’t about to ask—made a point of sitting next to her, but if Manny noticed their closeness, he didn’t pay any mind. They continued talking through the meal and Manolo chit-chatted (y/n) now and then, forcing her to answer Scarface’s falsely innocent and curious questions about what she was talking about. As if he didn’t already know everything about her life, apparently.  
After helping clean the kitchen, (y/n) said goodbye to her brother. Scarface watched them silently from the sofa and she tried to keep her focus on Manny. “I have some stuff to do at home now, gotta go.” 
“You going alone? It’s late”, he frowns.  
She waves her hand to make light of it. “It’s fine, Manny. It’s a ten minute ride.”  
Manolo shakes his head. “Even so, (y/n), you know this neighborhood ain’t safe. I can’t take you home, but Tony can.”  
So that’s his name.  
Scarface—Tony chimes in, not letting her answer Manny just yet, “c’mon, let’s go. I’ll take you.” 
“It is not necessary. I literally drove here!”, the girl huffs, already taking the first step to leave.  
Manny stops her before she reaches the door. “No, no. It’s too dangerous here at night, you better go with him. C’mon, you take her, Tony. She’s just a little stubborn.”  
(y/n) locks her jaw, but doesn’t say anything.  
“I noticed”, Tony mutters tauntingly, giving her an ambiguous look that surely only she saw. The girl took a deep breath and surrendered, waving goodbye to Manny as she walked with Tony to her car. They strolled in silence to the garage and as soon as she opened the door of the vehicle, he pulled out a little plastic bag from his pocket, full of a white powder. He pointed with his chin at it, raising the object. “I just made some business with your brother today, baby, no worries.”  
(y/n) stared at him confused, but still didn’t say a word. Manolo was really going down an irreversible path, it seemed, and there was nothing she could do about it. With a heavy heart, she could only get in her car and pray she’d make it home safe that night. Scarface followed her and started driving, shooting her a smile or two over his shoulder. Luckily, it wasn’t long until they parked in front of her building. He turned off the ignition and got out of the car with her, obviously inviting himself in.  
Of course.  
(y/n)’d been trying for a few seconds to open the stuck gate and Tony notices her suffering, helping her to complete the task. She doesn’t thank him and simply walks into the house, knowing he’s on her tail. His eyes burn into her back, but she tries not to focus on it while starting to unlock the door. She is greeted by her cats rubbing against her heels and she smiles automatically. Forgetting for a brief moment that Scarface is there, the girl takes the smaller one in her arms, hugging and kissing her soft dark fur. When she puts her down, the man is watching her with an amused expression.  
Her cheeks tingle and (y/n) makes her way to the kitchen, with Tony still following in silence. She pours herself a glass of water and offers it to him next, which he accepts, still staring at her with the same predatory demeanor. He’s going to try to do something ugly to her, obviously, and she is trying not to think about it, but it’s getting harder and harder. If she screams, no one will hear her. Fortunately or not, she has no neighbor on her floor. She makes a mental list of what objects she can throw at his head to make him pass out like in the movies; a brand new moisturizer that is full; a makeup bag; her favorite pan. If she is quick enough, maybe she can lock him in her room and call the police. 
(y/n) snaps out of her thoughts when Tony approaches her behind the counter, while she still holds a glass of water. She is staring at his chest when he calmly takes it from her hands and offers her a smile. She tries to hide her trembling fingers from his vision, but he notices them and takes her palm in his, raising it to her eye level.  
“Not so tough now, huh?”, he mocks, making (y/n) bite her own tongue so she doesn’t give him a sharp answer and gets punched because of it. He kisses her fingertips softly, catching her off guard. Tony notices her confused expression and grins again, lowering his face to bring it closer to hers. “What, you think I was gonna keep scaring you off? I’m not that bad, baby.” 
“If you say so.” She mutters reflexively, regretting it right away when his dangerous orbs fall on her. She sighs and looks away. “Sorry.” 
He nods approvingly. “Good girl.”  
There is an old gouache paintbrush she could use to pierce through his neck in case it gets bad. The glass pitcher is over the sink. (y/n) looks at the table and there’s a fork and a spoon. The big knife is in the drawer— 
Tony lets go of her hand and walks to her room. She listens to the sound of his wooden soles echoing against the tile floor a little astonished, before following him. She opens the door, which creaks imposingly through the empty, closed house, and her heart skips a beat when she hears the mattress shift, indicating he has settled into her bed.  
(y/n) is in front of her window to open it, but before she can do it, his arms wrap around her from behind and pull her away from it. She widens her eyes and tries to pull away, however, the grip tightens. She starts to shake more aggressively and an agonized scream leaves her mouth, causing his hand to slam against it, muffling the sound. She looks desperately at Tony and he’s signaling her to be quiet. Panic takes over her body and she gives up trying to get out of his grip. He seems happy with this decision and removes his palm from her lips, laying her body down on the bed and straddling her, legs wrapping around her waist as his knees sink into the mattress.  
Her eyes water and she closes them tightly, waiting for the inevitable. (y/n) remains like this for a few seconds, but nothing happens. She thinks maybe Tony has given up on what he wanted to do, however, when she opens her eyes again, his face is hovering over hers. His brown eyes are scrutinizing the girl minutely, there’s not a single vestige of that villainous smile that lives on his lips. She returns his gaze and they stare at each other in silence. His elbows are propped up against the mattress and his hands are still gripping her arms, holding them in place, but with no force.  
(y/n) wants to ask him what he’s doing, but the thought leaves her mind as soon as he takes a gun out of his pants. She screams in desperation, “help! Help! Someone help me!”  
“Shhh. Hey, calm down!”, Tony puts his hand over her mouth yet again, holding her down so she’ll stop her kicking. She watches, still horrified, as he places the gun on the chair beside her bed. “I’m not killing you, baby, calm down”, there’s a smirk on his features that makes her stomach turn. “Yet”, he adds, taking his palm away from her trembling lips. (y/n) tries to get up, but he pushes her back down. “I ain’t killing you, but I’m gonna do other things.” 
“No, no, please...” 
She can’t finish her pleas as his full lips crash onto hers, now in a kiss deeper and less brusque than the peck from earlier. The girl tries to resist at first, but soon her body speaks louder and she ends up giving in to the contact. She lets out an involuntary groan as his rough fingers lift the hem of her shirt, almost like an animal in heat. Damn hormones, she thinks in the back of her mind, not really caring for that much when his fingertips send shivers through her skin.  
Tony pulls apart so he can remove her garment, smirking at her bra-covered breasts. She blushes terribly. “You’re so cute, baby.” 
He kisses her again and (y/n) reciprocates vehemently this time, wrapping her legs around his waist tightly. His lips trace down her neck and she faintly laughs at the little tickle there, making him lift his face to look at her intently. There’s something different in his eyes, almost adoration, but she can’t finish the thought as he unbuttons her pants and unceremoniously pulls them down, leaving the girl in her underwear.  
Tony drops to his knees on the bed and shrugs off his iconic floral shirt and wifebeater. (y/n) can’t help but smile seeing his near-athletic pecs and gets on her knees too, silently volunteering to strip him out of his own pants. He watches closely as she unzips his jeans and unbuttons them, sliding them down his toned thighs. Tony finishes getting rid of the piece and goes back to kissing her neck urgently, leaving more aggressive caresses in place. A chill travels her spine when his member bumps into her stomach and she squeezes his arm reflexively, catching his attention.  
“You good?”, he asks, sounding so worried he seems to be another man completely different from the Scarface criminal who’s been with her until now.  
She simply nods and lets out another moan as his lips descend to the gap between her breasts, leaving sinuous kisses all the way down. He licks at the sweat accumulated there and kisses her again; a salty, icy kiss. A hand finds her face and trails her cheek lightly, while his tongue invades her mouth shamelessly. His touch is so gentle it looks absolutely nothing like the man who bruised her face twice with his brute strength. Tony gropes down her back and unbuckles her bra, making the girl shiver as he grips her nipple. Soon, he pays attention to them with his mouth and she bites her lip so as not to make too much noise. Still nibbling at the sensitive skin on her breasts, his deft hands slide down her panties and her face heats up violently.  
He slips two fingers into her without blinking an eye. (y/n) arches her back and blurts out a high-pitched groan, which had him chuckling, turning her on even more as his thick voice vibrated against her nipple. When his tongue meets her clit, the feeling is indescribably divine. She’s now a carefree mess of moans and ragged breathing. Tony’s hands grip her hips strongly, holding back her unconscious thrusts.  
He lifted his face again before she came, his chin visibly wet. “Got protection, baby?”  
“No”, she lets out an incredulous laugh. “I never did that, I didn’t have to...” 
“Right”, he says thoughtfully, as if just connecting the dots now. Tony fumbles in his pockets and doesn’t seem to find what he’s looking for, so he looks back at her. “I got nothing on me either.”  
“What now?”  
They exchange a silent look and he shrugs, getting back on top of her body. “Now I’m pulling out y qué sea lo que Dios quiera.”  
(y/n) is going to protest, but Tony takes off his boxers and invades her without warning, causing her to groan in pain. He soon notices her expression and stands statue over the girl, waiting for her to recover. Tears form in her eyes once again and he leaves light kisses on her cheek, trying to calm her down. She smiles softly at the delicate and unexpected gesture. Soon she’s ready and he starts to move, gradually increasing the pace.  
The solemn creak of the bed is the only sound besides their gasping breaths and moans she can’t contain. Every now and then his golden chain hits her chin, however it doesn’t hurt, it’s but a little friction. His big hands are squeezing her breasts as he speeds up the movements little by little. (y/n) looks to the side and sees the revolver on the pink chair, the contrast of that scene making her want to laugh. She returns her attention to Tony and he’s got his eyes closed, mouth open, leaving wet kisses all over her cleavage. He’s dripping with sweat, just like her.  
He takes her lips again and only then does she return to the moment, losing herself in her own pleasure and letting the orgasm overtake her without precedent. Next up is Tony, who comes with a husky moan and one last kiss. He lets his body slide off hers, pulling out his cock while his cum paints them both. (y/n) kisses his face after the effect of orgasm and he returns the caress, pulling her into a fairly tight hug. She smiles at the contact and lets him hold her there for a few minutes. They’re silent the entire time, until he pulls the sheet from under the pillow to cover them. Tony and her exchange indecipherable, sinuous looks, and that’s when her penny drops. She just had sex with a criminal.  
Jesus. 
“This shouldn’t have happened”, she say abruptly, sitting up.  
Tony also sits down and shrugs.  “But it did. So what?”  
“So it won’t happen again!”, (y/n) exclaims in annoyance, not caring that this man has a gun and isn’t afraid to use it at all. “You need to go.”  
“Already? You just wanna use me and throw me away, huh? Now that’s cold, baby”, she rolls her eyes at his mockery and stares at the wall as he stands beside the bed, his stuff swaying back and forth. “Hey”, he calls, but she doesn’t answer. He then touches her chin and gives her a lingering, incredibly soft peck. She sighs as Tony pulls away and there’s a gentle smile on his face as he puts on his clothes. “You’re cute, (y/n).”  
“Thanks”, she timidly blurts out, not really knowing what to say. The girl looks for her underwear and tenses up as she watches him handle his revolver, placing it on his back again.  
He notices this. “I ain’t hurting you with that gun, you know? You can relax.”  
“Even if you don’t use it against me, it’s still a weapon”, she mutters seriously, turning her back to him so he can buckle her bra.  
He does the task and hugs her from behind, kissing her locks. “You don’t have to be afraid of anything with me, baby, not even a weapon.” 
She turns to face him, hugging his waist lightly. Tony gets serious all of a sudden and lets out a long breath as he finally releases her. He checks his pocket and fixes his messy hair in the small mirror on top of the dresser. Before leaving, they exchange one last look. None of them says a word. (y/n) watches him disappear behind the gate and looks around the empty house, returning to her room and closing the door. She stares at the completely messed up bed and the sheet painted by drops of blood and sperm, which they shared for a few seconds, now on the floor. Ha.  
Trouble with a capital “T”. 
♡♡♡ 
Two weeks after the incident, (y/n) didn’t go to her brother’s house anymore. But Elvira, being such a pain in her ass sometimes, had practically bullied her into going out tonight.  She was anxious, it’d been a while since she went out to have fun like this. Her fear of bumping into Tony—Scarface wasn’t exactly as strong as before, for obvious reasons, but she’d still rather not take her chances in finding him again. No matter how good his dick game was, he was a dangerous individual. Better to stay away. 
So, for the record; she fucked a hitman and was most likely falling in love with him, maybe even reciprocally, just after he got violent with her several times. Elvie obviously didn’t know about it yet, but what would she do when that time inevitably came? Because (y/n) was going to tell her, no doubt. She couldn’t keep it all to herself forever, hiding it from everyone like it was some sort of crime. Elvira would probably call her crazy and even threaten to lock her up in an asylum, wanting to choke Tony if it was as much as hinted he laid his hand on her. And she wasn’t even wrong for that! 
But what about her family? God, if her father knew... He’d go after Tony’s blood. He would simply never look her in the face again, especially since their relationship was already fragile enough because of Manolo. And what of her reputation? All of Miami would talk about this. She’d be the new bitch on the block for sure. No one would respect her, she’d become a joke. Not that she cared about what those people think of her, but it would be nice to stay anonymous. It was safe, something she hadn’t felt in a long time. 
With a heavy sigh, (y/n) finished getting ready and stared at her reflection, smiling faintly. Perhaps it was best to let those corrosive thoughts for tomorrow’s hangover. She grabbed her bag and locked her apartment, walking down the deserted street. As the club was close to her house, there was no reason for anyone to come and get her, so she’d go alone with no worries. It wasn’t like anyone was going to do anything to her on her quiet neighborhood, anyway, much less on the weekend. Plus, criminals in this town had a schedule and they liked to stick to it. At least the ones who grew up there. 
Already approaching the place, she saw Elvira with some of her friends waiting for her in the line. They greeted each other and entered the club, going for a table next to the bar. (y/n) immediately asked for a strong drink to try and calm down her nerves, feeling rather unfit for that environment after such a long time away from it. At the first glass, she felt lighter and smiling, pulling Elvie to the dance floor.  
They’re dancing and laughing like idiots when a tall man approaches them. He is moving to the song and calmly smoking a cigarette while he watches the girls, eyes glued to (y/n)’s form in specific. She doesn’t hear a word Elvira is saying over the music as she stares back at the guy, so distracted she accidentally knocks over a waiter’s tray behind her, making a huge mess. (y/n) apologizes quickly and starts clumsily picking things up on the floor, while the mysterious guy crouches down and helps her with it. She smiles shyly and they finish fixing everything in place.  
She thanks him softly and turns to go back to her table, but he grabs her arm gently. “In a hurry?”, he questions playfully, an amused smile on his full lips.  
She blushes. “Oh, no, I was just…”  
He shakes his head. “You’re a little shy, I can see that. Let’s put an end to this shyness now, come with me!”, he walks off, dragging her to the bar. “So, what’s your name?”, he asks, signaling for the bartender to bring them two beers.  
“(y/n).”  
“Frank, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Their drinks arrive and they make a toast, while she takes a big swig. Frank smiles and pulls her by the waist, taking her by surprise. “Lost your shyness yet?” 
“I...” 
He attacks her lips before she can finish, leaving a wet, beer-tasting kiss on her mouth. (y/n) has to make a tremendous effort not to drop the beer from her hand, making way for his tongue to explore every corner of her mouth. Frank separates them just to take another sip of his drink and starts kissing her neck. Elvira’s eyes from afar give her a surprised and mischievous look. She flashes her a smug smile, but as soon as she does, her friend’s expression completely shuts down and now it’s one of sheer panic. (y/n) frowns and turns to look at where she’s staring so terrified.  
She’s greeted by Tony’s aggressive hands pulling her away from Frank in a sudden movement. He drags her out of the man’s arms, keeping her behind his body. Tony then hits him with his fist. (y/n) widens her eyes with the amount of punches Tony is throwing at Frank and tries to get him off the guy, but he pushes her away. She looks around and people surround them, watching the fight in silence and astonishment, however no one moves a finger to help break it up. Of course. It’s Scarface.  
No one would dare stop him.  
Frank managed to leave a blow on Tony’s stomach, but he couldn’t dodge another punch to the jaw and fell to the ground, looking dizzy. When she thought Tony would back down and leave it at that, he went over to Frank’s body on the floor and striking him wildly again. She was desperate for help to separate them, but nobody did anything. (y/n) tried to pull Tony away from him and he pushed her once more, only this time she didn’t give up so easily. She grabbed his arm with all the strength of a slightly intoxicated person and made him look at her. The fury in his eyes slowly seemed to soften and he dropped Frank’s semi-conscious body. 
Once on his feet, Tony looks around him, menacingly showing his gun tucked into his pants. Everyone scatters like startled ants immediately, without him having to say a word. When they’re alone, he glances at Frank one more time and looks back at (y/n). His anger seems to have returned.  
“I wish I done that to you”, he begins, his thick voice making her shiver. She takes a step back, but he grabs her by the neck and pulls her close again. “Lucky for you, I’m doing good lately, baby. So I’m generous, you know? But you both should be fucking dead now.” (y/n)’s hands start to shake and her eyes water instantly at his words, fear taking over her entire body. She tries to free herself from his grip, but he won’t let her. He continues, “you are mine. Ain’t no one touching you but me from now on. Got it?” 
“Yes”, she chokes, tears falling down her face uncontrollably.  
Tony, however, doesn’t seem to feel any remorse for her deplorable state. Finally his hand lets go of her neck and she takes a deep breath, sobs leaving her throat aggressively. (y/n) gets as far away as possible and before she knows it, she’s running away. He doesn’t come after her, which she mentally thanks. She felt so scared and angry at that moment that she couldn’t think of anything but running, running for her life.  
♡♡♡ 
(y/n) got home and locked the door thoroughly. She isolated in her room and cried herself to sleep. It was dawn when she managed to close her eyes and rest for a few hours, only to be woken up by a loud noise outside the next day. There were loud bangs on the door, nearly knocking it over. Her breath hitched and she made sure to lock the bedroom door. Maybe she could just pretend nobody was home.  
Another banging thud, now it sounded like someone jumping on the floor. Then there was yet another furious knocking, this time on the front door. Her stomach turned. A bang on the window echoed in her ears and (y/n) began to cry profusely, sobbing in terror. A crash startled her and her eyes widened seeing the wooden blinds breaking in front of her.  
She unlocked the bedroom door in a second and ran behind her apartment, opening the kitchen door as it lead to emergency stairs. Footsteps approached once she managed to get out and run across someone’s yard. She looked for somewhere low enough for her to reach so she could climb, finding a little doghouse in the corner. There wasn’t anybody or anything around, thankfully. However, as soon as she started to take off, big arms grabbed her waist from behind, pulling down her body violently.  
She kicked as hard as she could, but Tony wouldn’t let go. He towed her back into her house and locked the kitchen door, dragging her by the arm back to her room. He threw the girl on the bed without any delicacy and looked at her from where he was standing. She continued to cry copiously, all her strength quickly draining away. (y/n) crouched close to the headboard and watched him sit on the far side, studying her in silence.  
“Crying ain’t doing you no good, baby.” She turns her face to the wall and he walks in her direction, crawling until he’s next to her. He whispers in her ear, “you can’t win for losing.” 
“Shut up!”, she pushes him away, taking Tony by surprise. He looks at her with raised eyebrows, but he doesn’t look annoyed.  
He looks pleased.  
“C’mon, now”, Tony approaches again, grabbing her chin to make her eyes stay on his. “Now, now you look like the fucking girl I met in that station. Badass baby”, (y/n) tries to pull away, but he doesn’t let her and gives her a forced peck. His stubble scratches her face and she grimaces, dodging and breaking the contact. This seems to irritate him deeply, because in the next second, his palm meets the soft skin of her cheek and the sensation burns. Tony pointed in her direction, warning, “don’t you ever do that again.”  
“I do whatever the hell I want”, she spits out, not caring about the consequences at this point.  
He gets hold of her neck, glaring. “No. You do what I want, you bitch.” 
(y/n) smirks, mockingly. “You think you’re offending me? How cute.”  
Tony then slaps her again, this time much harder, and she laughs out loud at his fragile ego. She pulls herself together and faces him again, pretending not to be shaken. Tears have dried under her eyes and she only cracks a half smile, taking in his scowling features. “You men are such a joke, so easy to figure out.”  
“Careful, baby”, he says in a warning tone, making her chuckle once more.  
“Who do I have to be careful with, you?”, she asks smugly, smacking the hand he lifted to squeeze her neck again. Tony is surprised, although he’s trying really hard not to show it. “You...”, she continues, lightly touching the collar of his shirt. “Who would never hurt me with a gun?”, (y/n) mimics his thick voice. He seems to get annoyed at that and takes her hand away from where it was, which makes her smile victoriously.  
Okay, so it’s not so bad having a criminal with a crush on her.  
“Shut up”, he orders.  
She simply shrugs and brings her face closer to his. Tony places a gentle kiss on her lips and excitement burns inside her as his palm goes straight to her ass, squeezing it. “Hold up, cowboy”, (y/n) mutters, although not really caring about his impatience. “Wanna explain to me what was that about last night?”  
“Told you, you’re mine.” He reiterates casually, trying to pull her onto his lap and kiss her, but she doesn’t allow it. Tony frowns again, speaking with a heavy accent, “what is it now?”  
“You almost killed the guy”, (y/n) points out. She didn’t want to make him feel remorseful or anything, she knew he just wouldn’t; it was all on her curiosity about the sick psychology in his head. She touches the collar of his shirt again and looks into his eyes, the most sincere she’s been so far, and practically begs, “what do you want from me, Tony?”  
Something very similar to confusion runs through his brown orbs, but it’s only for a millisecond, as he looks at her sternly right after. His hands remain promptly by each side of his body, and it makes her a little bit relieved he’s respecting her wishes. It’s a start. 
Of what exactly, (y/n)?  
“I want you, baby”, he says. His voice doesn’t betray any kind of vulnerability, though his gaze conveys less solemnity than his words. She watches him in silence until her eyes inevitably water. Tony frowns and touches her face quickly, holding her like she was the most delicate thing in the world. “What is it?”  
How can he not see? How does he have the courage to even ask what happened? Or are his actions merely impulsive and completely thoughtless, is that it? Does he not know that he was just hurting, hitting her? Does he not know that he was just insulting (y/n) and treating her like a goddamn worthless object? Because the same hands that slapped her cheek minutes ago are now hugging her and stroking her back, as if in an attempt to ease her loud sobs.  
She hears his voice in her ear, soothing, kissing her neck lightly. Maybe it’s all a dream, a hallucination in her head as she’s unconscious with this man doing God-knows-what to her. But it is not. His touch is as real as it was the last time, his pleasure intertwining with hers in a magnificent, if improvised, dance. And it’s as real as the first time their lips met, in a sheer display of power and dominance on his part, but which now reminded her only of a caress exchanged between two lovers. A comfort.  
“(y/n)...”, his deep voice calls again, however her eyes are glazed over the shattered window in front of her. He lifts her face to look at him and there’s a kind of desperation in his expression, even if it’s held back by pride greater than his own ego, if that’s possible. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” 
“I know.” She hears herself speak, sort of in reflex, since it was true. She knew deep down he didn’t mean to hurt her. Maybe at first, yes, but then... Following that afternoon, a new chapter of this crazy story began to unfold. And they are entering one more after last night.  
“It’s true”, he reenforces, and (y/n) really wishes she had the strength to tell him that it’s okay, she understood, but the truth is that she was tired. Sold out. It had been so long since she had slept or eaten anything and she felt her limbs giving up on supporting her body at any moment. “(y/n)”, Tony insists, yet his voice is already a low sound that becomes more and more distant in her mind.  
Soon she doesn’t feel anything anymore.  
♡♡♡ 
The first time (y/n) opens her eyes, everything is blurry. On the second attempt, she notices a figure sitting on the chair beside her bed and a dim light coming from the window. On the third blink, she realized she had probably passed out—for how long was her first question, as the sun outside seemed to point at one or two in the afternoon.  
Tony was silently watching her as she positioned herself and felt her head almost explode into a thousand pieces. Her throat was dry, an unparalleled taste of shit in her mouth reminding her she hadn’t even brushed her teeth due to everything that had happened that day since she woke up. A sigh escaped her lips and (y/n) closed her eyes again, giving up on her efforts to sit up against the headboard. She felt so weak. Her fingers were trembling slightly and she was freezing to death, even with the sun at its peak and all the covers over her on the bed. She felt dizziness enveloping her body and thought she was going to faint again, but a large, rough, careful hand touched her arm.  
Tony looked hesitant, worried, recluse even. His eyes didn’t leave hers for a second and she felt slightly invaded, undressed as his irises watched over her without blinking. She stared at his palm on her forarm and tried to calm down, although her heart hammered inside her chest. “You didn’t eat anything today, did you?”, he asks, but it’s a rhetorical question.  
Tony then leaves her alone, not waiting for an answer, and returns with a plate in one hand and a glass in the other. (y/n) stares at the image in front of her and feels like chukling, but she contains herself. Instead, she sits up with some difficulty as he hands her the meal, returning to his rightful place on the pink chair. She takes a couple of bites and a huge relief rushes through her body as the food reaches her stomach. It had been almost a day since she had anything to eat. She didn’t even know how she didn’t vomit her ass off with all the alcohol she had last night.  
The girl sipped the juice as she paid more attention to her surroundings. Tony took care of her while she was unconscious and even cooked. He, the hitman who scared even the most dangerous gangsters in Miami, cooked her a stroganoff and made her an orange juice. It sounded like a scene from a sugary romance movie.  
“It’s just a hangover”, she finally speaks up, her throat still a little dry.  
“It’s not”, Tony turns around and sits leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, looking at her intently. She gazes at her plate and continues to eat in silence, while he continues, “I’m real sorry, (y/n).” If she hadn’t been so tired, she would have spit out her juice in surprise. (y/n) glanced at him completely horrified, as if he had confessed to an atrocity. Tony stays with the same solemn expression, a little less proud now.  
“For what?”, a shiver runs down her legs. She didn’t want to be insistent, but curiosity was killing her inside.  
Tony, on the other hand, didn’t seem bothered by the question. “For hitting you. And for doing all of that last night.”  
“You shouldn’t apologize to me for what you did”, she mutters bitterly. 
Tony only shrugs. “I didn’t mean to hit you.” He repeats, and she closes her eyes when all that tangle of feelings hits her chest once more. He reaches over and takes her hand, giving her a pleading look. “I swear I ain’t ever laying a finger on you again, baby. You gotta believe me.”  
Her eyes water involuntarily and she holds his hand back firmly, looking at him with a half-broken smile, trying in vain to give him some comfort. “I know”, she begins, voice cracking at the end. “I know, okay? You were angry. I understand.”  
Tony scowls and shakes his head. “No. (y/n), that’s no excuse. I shouldn’t...” 
“I know. It was wrong, Tony, I know, but you didn’t think straight. And neither did I, actually. It happened, there’s no reason to dwell on it. Everything is fine, really.” She looks into his eyes once more and smiles when he nods after a while, still a little hesitant. The girl brings his hand to her lips and kisses it slowly.  
He smiles weakly. “You scared the fuck out of me, you know”, he mumbles, and there’s a hint of desperation in his voice. “I thought I did something to make you pass out. The fear, I don’t know...”  
“That wasn’t it. I’m not afraid of you, Tony”, she assured him, since it wasn’t a total lie. When he was just him, without that domineering, abusive criminal side, she wasn’t afraid of Tony. No longer. (y/n) sighs and finishes her meal, setting her plate on the table beside her, feeling considerably better. “Come here”, she extends her arms to him and Tony goes without blinking, hiding his face in her neck and lying with her on the bed.  
She didn’t know exactly what that meant. Having sex with a murderer who only mistreated her already wasn’t so understandable, but having some kind of relationship with him? It sounded pathetic in her mind. It’s not like he would even want anything to do with her besides sex, but she couldn’t believe that as the seconds went by and he kissed her neck so softly, apologizing endlessly for his transgressions, mumbling that he would never hurt her again, that she’d never need to be afraid of him again...  
Her head was going to explode.  
(y/n) looked down to meet his gaze and stroked his hair, smiling like a lovestruck idiot. She just couldn’t believe this was happening—and somehow she did. Because of course she wouldn’t resist for long. Even when she was shaking like a leaf, still she couldn’t fight his caresses, imagine it now that Tony seems so willing to make up for all his mistakes? 
“Antonio...”, he mutters, barely audible, making her frown. He gives her a small smile and kisses her, mumbling against her lips, “my name.” 
“Really?”, (y/n) asks in disbelief, since now she was probably the only person in town who got that information, but Tony seemed more than comfortable sharing it with her.  
He’s still looking at her with the same little smile on his face. “Really. Why?” He lifts his body to rest on one arm, staring at the girl with some amusement.  
She grins and kisses him again, leaving several pecks on his stubble. “For nothing. It’s just a really nice name.”  
Her eyebrows dance and he laughs, making her insides melt at the sound of his laughter. It was the first time she heard it and she didn’t want to hear any other sound for the rest of her life. It was such a full 180 from the big, bad Scarface. 
(y/n) knew “I want you” was very far from “I love you”, but that knowledge didn’t stop her heart from skipping a beat whenever she remembered those words. Besides, even if the latter was the case, it was just never going to be that simple with Tony. She looked at his sparkling brown eyes and let out a deep, dreamy sigh. She was down hard for that dangerous, dangerous man, yet there was nothing but softness inside of her as he held her into his arms. What he did away from her could be as ugly as it came to be, and it still would never compare to how warm she was in his presence—be it for the anger, for the lust or for the comfort he made her feel. So, it was fine. She could handle it.  
She’s always been a bit of a troubleshooter, anyways. 
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ateriblewriter · 11 months
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"You can't just lose your temper like this every time you get a little bit upset!" With Luke Hughes please
😊 I hope this is okay, i feel as though i could have done better. its kinda messy. idk. sorry. first time really writing for luke. it's longer than the others blurbs for the celly but I was challenging myself. 😅
A Broken Glass
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he was supposed to be better this season. better than the child he felt he was in the few games he played in at the end of the prior season. he made sure to put in the work over the summer, improving upon an already impressive skill set. but it still wasn't good enough.
luke was having a bit of a hard time recently, making mistakes that were in his words stupid and should never have happened. getting himself into trouble on the ice, uncharacteristic actions set off by the littlest things. he had been putting a lot of pressure on himself and instead of being better he was getting worse.
everything came to a head on a tuesday evening after the devils had lost again and luke gave another lackluster performance. once again on the brink of being benched for someone else who could perform at the caliber they were looking for.
jack had decided to seek the comfort of another human being, having gone over to their place for the evening. this left the whole place to just you and luke. which was great because you finally wanted to pick your boyfriends mind about how he was feeling about everything recently.
“are you okay?” you inquire watching him.
"i'm fine." he scowled.
"do you want to talk about it?" you ask starting to ramble. of course you didn't believe him and just because he shut you down right away didn't mean you were going to stop trying to get him to say more than a few words to you. "because you really should at some point. im worried about you. you don't even have to talk to me. is it the team? is it something im doing? is it-"
"just go away." luke interrupted you. he was so in his head, he didn't notice the glass he had been holding, slip from his hand and crashing to the ground. luke wasn't necessarily mad. he was mainly just frustrated with his situation and really didn't like talking about it. the way he showed it may not have been the best way.
you're too shocked for words at the glass on the floor, opting to crouch down to clean up the little pieces of glass from the broken cup instead of using your words. you tried to be as careful as you but while brushing the tiny bits together with the back of your hand, a little piece embedded itself in between you index finger and middle, causing it to bleed a lot.
you could feel luke rolling his eyes, frustration still radiating off of him. he was looking for an argument. you heard him mumbling something but couldn't really tell what was said.
"what was that? you need to speak up."
"i said that you don't understand the pressure i am under. i am supposed to be better. and i'm not. you wouldn't understand that. I'm not like you I just don't give up on my dreams."
"that's not true and you know it." you clench your teeth together, trying your hardest not to give into what he wanted, a fight. because luke knew you were an athlete and that you had big dreams of making it big. only to have them crushed by a devastating injury, that led you to pursue other dreams.
"you know what? call me when you want to actually talk and not start a fight." you grab your set of house keys to leave, the small cut in between your fingers still dripping little droplets of red stuff on the floor. you didn't want to be around him if he was going to act like that.
you didn’t go far that night. instead of going somewhere like a bar, you opted to go over to the neighboring apartment. where it just so happened that your best friend, since moving to jersey, lived. Of course she wasn’t home, but you still had a key and helped yourself to her couch for the rest of the night.
it wasn’t until the next morning that you started getting messages from jack. you hadn’t intended on responding to him but he seemed instant on talking, worried about his little brother and the girl who had become like a sister to him.
jack- where are you
jack- why is there glass on the floor and is that blood
jack- what happened dot
y/n- ask your brother
jack- he said you left
jack- what’s going on
you could have responded more to jack or you could just walked the few feet home and talk to him yourself. the later would most likely include seeing luke. you knew you'd have to talk to him eventually, why not rip the band-aid off now.
jack practically tackled you when you re-entered the apartment and luke was no where to be seen at that time. once he let you go, you told him all about what had happened the night before. he tried to reassure you that his brother was an idiot and that he didn't mean what he said.
"y/n? can we talk?” nodding you guide him over to the couch. "i'm sorry about last night. i shouldn't have said that. it wasn't nice."
"i know luke. but you can't just lose your temper like that every time your get a little bit upset." you cradled his head in your lap. you ran your fingers through the longer curls. "they are going to keep eating you alive if you do. and it'll only get worse."
"i know. it's just." it was hard for him to be this vulnerable, especially with you. but if he wanted to get past this bump in the road he was going to need to at times. "everyone is comparing me to them. and i try and be like them and im not."
"exactly. you're not like your brothers. you're luke. not quinn. not jack. you are luke. you need to play like luke. you need to be luke."
“how do i do that?” he turned his face to look up at yours. he still regretted his words and decisions from the night before. but he needed to find a way to find himself again and stop comparing himself to his family.
“i don’t know exactly lu. but we’ll figure it out together yeah?” you boop the tip of his nose with your finger eliciting a slight smirk and a head nod from him.
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ganondoodle · 8 months
Text
as i was awake in the middle of the night for like 2 hours bc i felt sick i had more somewhat random totk thoughts
one being that i really hate how raurus response to concerned zelda is, after sonia died in that almost funny how little impactful it was way, "im sure you are here for a reason" (actually, i hate how often this sentence is used in general to .. idk i guess its supposed to be inspiritational???)
bc what does that mean actually? him saying that to someone who got there absolutely by accident really just sounds like "i dont care go figure it out yourself bc i dont want to think about anything concerning you or your troubles lol" i guess its meant to sound like OOOOH fate has BROUGHT you here bc you have to furfill a role you dont know yet (spoiler its being a sacrifice girl with no personality) and besides me hating the 'inescapable fate' trope in general (at least the way its usually done in these games, which is not to struggle against it but willingly accept whatever you are told and pretend thats good) its really jsut goddamn boring and is really only an excuse to well .. ignore her and her trouble; shouldnt you, if you were actually such a cool guy like the game wants me to believe so bad, do everything in your power to get zelda back to her own world before shes pulled even further into the war you caused now that her only ""mentor"" that could help her get more use of her pretty much useless sudden powers is gone too?? i know shes basically dead wife sonia replacement (can of worms ugh) but it still grinds my gears whenever i think of that cutscene, bc i cant help but hear it as the lamest excuse in existence to not care about her and just kinda .. see what happens which in this case means leave zelda completely on her her own since both rauru and mineru die as well (honestly shouldnt rauru have thought about like .. any plan to defeat gan besides dying himself, given hes the oh so cool and goodest guy king whos only mistake was not stabbing gan the second he stepped into their kathedral castle thing, like even if you had a plan it can still fail but it seemed like he just kinda went in with a handful of people that didnt seem to know each other at all, never got names or faces -or unique voices for that matter- to fight gan face to face inlcuding the girl that came from a different time and had nothing to do with any of this conflict and couldnt even really control her sudden new powers just seems pretty stupid)
thought 2
how totk really feels like botw but for the people who didnt like shiekah tech, its not a sequel, its botw again, but version of only sonau, its like a pokemon game that had two versions but one has weirdly incoherent story and acts like the other never existed jsut as a whole its like retreading the same points but worse, all shiekah tech that was so integral to the world and had such a long history just vanishing and no one caring about any of it like it never happened, HELL the titans were called divine beasts in english but i guess they werent divine or important enough to keep around LOL champions WHO and isntead a never before seen or even heard of race for that matter showing up and planting their ass in every place the shiekah were before, dare i say it feels weirdly manipulative, like either them or some outside force erasing every fact about the ancient shiekah and replace them with sonau stuff bc they are the hot new shit now
this is a point that just doesnt stop bothering me, how the shiekah tech seemed so carefully designed and integrated into botws world and story, its a difficult to keep balance after all, integrating high tech stuff into a medieval setting, but they made it work! and then totk comes around and throws a bunch modern day tech into it puts some vague greenish stone filter on its exterior and call that even better more ancient tech; why did they even bother to make pottery inspired laser shooting spider legged robots so well integrated when they throw a car and rockets into the next game without a thought and call it a day, what was the fucking point
it feels like someone was dead set on having a set of legos thrown into the game it had no place in, if you want players to build whatever they want make a building game instead!! especially if you are just gonna throw it in with seemingly no consideration how out of place it feels togehter with the fACT THAT YOU ALREADY HAD AND ANCIENT HIGH TECH CIVILIZATION WITH A VERY DISTINCT AESTHETIC THAT WAS ALREADY WELL INTEGRATED INTO THE WORLD YOU ARE PLANNING TO REUSE WITH ALOT OF MYSTERY AND UNKOWN STUFF ABOUT THEM TO EXPLORE FURTHER YOU COULD HAVE USED!! but i guess they just "didnt want to play with you anymore" and that so much so that they went out of their way to erase every trace of it, i dont think the words shiekah tech are ever used in the game, and the purah pad and her towers just drive me more isnane bc they are the same shit but called different and also much worse, liek the purah pad isnt some more developed shiekah stone, no its a glorified camera with a teleport function and thats it
(i know i said this before but i really cant stand how obsessed every single NPC is with sonau shit, you get told to your face every second line of dialog that they are so cool and are so mysterious that it just makes me annoyed of them even more, the game is obsessed with shoving them everywhere and telling you over and over you too should obsess over them, they werent weird like that about the shiekah stuff in botw?? the biggesst talking point in botw was calamity ganon ..... which makes sense and in totk its like ... gan is mentioned what, in a newspaper article??? once???and then not even by name i think???)
aside from that big point which will never let me go, its also just .. its not moving forward anything, it actively walks BACK the progress that was made in botw, call me dumb but i dont really count moving one step up in the social roles of each race as a character development (for the side characters like the champions desc- ahem SAGES) but mainly zelda ... god how dirty she was done, totk pretty explicitely makes her regress any development she made in botw aside from she likes link uwu and some people like her too, but also not enough to notice that that weird zelda being all evil and weird isnt her (INLCUDING THE CHAMP- SAGES WHO YOU ARE SUPPOSEDLY FRIENDS WITH??? you dont have to be a genius to pick up on that my god, were you all given the mc dumbo potion or what)
she gets put back to square one, back into the little itty bitty princessy maiden role forced upon her by her royal parentage, this time rauru edition, back into a white little dress, back into the scared puppy eyed teenager, back into a situation she cant handle, back into losing everyone around her (tho honestly botw made me care more about rhoam than totk did about rauru), back into being forced to do a big sacrifice- but worse actually
in botw she went to FIGHT AND HOLD GANON IN THE CASTLE SO LINK HAD TIME TO RECOVER AND IT WOULDNT DESTROY THE LAND!! and you are telling me in totk rauru takes up her botw role and she bascially killed herself to ... restore the mastersword.
......... she ... she did that only to be a glorified version of the stone pedestal in the forest. and then she gets returned to normal itty bitty girly no problem via magic sparkle beam at the end and
DOESNT
EVEN
REMEMBER.
it really is just botw but worse, you even get yet another ghost king of hyrule to guide you around (rhoam did it better fight me ... we dont talk about the questionable choice to make himself darker skinned when posing as just some guy)
i honestly dont think i was ever truly taken aback by anythign that happened in botw, while in totk, the further i played, the more i had to fight with myself to keep the feeling of unease, disappointment and betrayal down
its such a god damn shame, totk should have stayed a DLC, i will forever mournfully dream of a game that explores more of the ancient shiekah, doesnt erase integral parts of the world, developes characters more instead of making them regress back and make them end up even less developed than at the start of the game, dives into buried secrets and mistakes of dark pages of history without giving into a weirldy nationalist(imperalisitc?) narrative and lets characters have some agency for once
if it werent for the yiga i might have actually considered refunding the game, just to be at peace with myself
anyway, aboslutely incoherent word vomit.
134 notes · View notes
liyawritesss · 1 year
Note
riri x reader going to a game or playing video games together late at night
ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ʀᴇʟᴀx ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍɪɴᴅ
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Characters: MCU!Riri Williams x Black!Fem!Reader
Type: Drabble
Synopsis: Finals are here and you've been studying non-stop for the past few weeks. Riri gets you to unwind in the only way you can’t refuse.
Warnings: cursing, riri gets a bit upset cuz you're not taking care of yourself, one mention of the word 'depression'
A/N: a mix of a drabble + textfic style that I thought would fit for this request. It's also been a minute since I actually wrote for riri but I have engaged in a lot of the his floating around for her. Particularly the stud!riri ones....if you squint you'll def see the inspiration lmaoo.
Tags: @6-noir @playhousedistee @shuririsdefenseattorney @shuriszn @zayswriting @wrendermedone @writingintheshadowsforever @mbakuetshurisprincess @verachii @slytherin-34 @the_lesbian-fangirl @itsmaniiiiiiiii @strangefishflapturtle @cuddl3s4shur1 @shuriislut @dejaonline @babyboiboyega @badass-dora-milaje @inmyheadimobsessed @aaliyg @cafehyunji @chunkybabygorl @rosielovesfamily @lulu-network
Sign Up For My Taglist Here!
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Ten forty-seven.
That was the time on your phone, printed in white against the background of your lock screen. You had been studying for four hours, since the second you got back to your dorm after your last class ended for the day. There had barely been a moment’s rest for you, and after the realization hit that you had been sitting in your seat for four fucking hours rereading the same study guide and notes over and over, you became increasingly aware of the sting your eyes and the soreness of your butt in your desk chair.
Finals were around the corner, and quite frankly, you couldn’t afford to not study. This semester had been exceptionally hard course wise, with the materials for many of your classes being dense and intense. The professors as well were not the kindest, and would make it all too easy for a student to slip up and fail, and you refused to be one of those students.
Your phone buzzes against the wood of your desk, and against your better judgment, you choose to pick it up and see the notifications you have. As you suspect, ignoring your phone and all other electronics for four hours straight garnered you a lot of notifications from the various apps you used on a day to day basis for entertainment and communication. And the first to sit at the top of your notifications column was from none other than your precious girlfriend herself.
riri baby ❣️
babe
babe
baaaaaabbbeeee
let me know you’re alive goddamn
Imyyyyy
like a lot
you know you wouldn’t be stressing like this is you just let me help you study
you know im a good teacher :D
pls answer your goddamn phone
you act like i wont spam your shit you know i’m crazy like that
…..now if i send you sumn imma be in the wrong
you
jesus christ ri
riri baby ❣️
wooooooowwww so you respond to the threat of me sending you nudes but not me being lovey dovey n shit
i see how it is
you
you know what they say
a tit pic a day keeps the depression at bay
riri baby ❣️
I wish my phone wasn’t fucked up so i could send that raven simone gif of her saying ‘ya nasty’
cuz that’s what you are
n a s t y
you
you offered??????
riri baby ❣️
pls tell me you’re not still studying
you been doin that shit since last week 
did you even eat anything when you got back to our room
you
I can neither confirm nor deny either of those questions
riri baby ❣️
omfg
ikyfl
Really (Y/N)?
you
that's not my name :(
you make it sound like i’m in trouble or sumn
riri baby ❣️
cuz you are????
bae its finna be eleven at night and you aint eat or take a break since you got back
you
ik ik ik
i tried to take one i really did
but i was just starting to understand some stuff and I didn't want my stupid brain to forget it just as i was already beginning to relearn it
and I still have so much to go….
riri baby ❣️
put you sumn on
im finna come pick you up and we finna go get sumn to eat
then i’mma spend the night with you and make sure you chill tf out on that studying shit bc you gon fuck around and make yourself sick from all that stress
aight?
you
okay…..
can we get
idk
tacos?
riri baby ❣️
yes we can get tacos pretty girl
And baby?
you
Yes?
riri baby ❣️
i love you
you’re doing great
you 
thank you….n I love you too
can we also play the game when we come back?
riri baby ❣️
yes baby we can play the game
im suppose to be teaching you how to play 2K anyway
i’m downstairs mama
hurry up campus security be out here actin shady n shit
You were thankful that Riri had texted you in the end. You probably would be past out in your desk chair right now if you chose to ignore your phone again, but knowing Riri, she wouldn't have let that happen anyway. The trip to your favorite taco spot wasn’t long, and the cashier there who had memorized your orders made the process swift and painless. 
Returning to your dorm room, Riri wasted no time in shoving your study materials into the drawer of your desk to be forgotten about until tomorrow. You just sat on your bed, as you watched her move about your room with precision, cleaning up your discarded shoes, jacket and backpack, and turning on your gaming console, slipping the 2K23 disc into the game disc slot and loading up the application.
“C’mere,” Riri mutters as she takes you by your hand and pulls you onto her lap after you’ve finished eating. The warmth from her hoodie warms your body that's littered in goosebumps, and she all but ages you against her by wrapping her arm around her waist to connect with the other handle of the controller. You find yourself paying much more attention to her tutorial of the game than any of the course material from any of your classes, her soft voice coaxing relaxation into your mind. And of course, as the ever so appreciative girlfriend you are to her, you make sure to feed her as well while she’s teaching you. 
You’d save study for tomorrow. For right now, you were content with your girlfriend holding you close while she played her game, and you watched attentively, delivering her a victory kiss for every match she wins.
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southeofficeworker · 3 months
Text
What does your tf2 kin say about you? Part 1
People did a similar thing, so why not? I'll try to write it as best as i can. Also, the person who sent me the latest request, it's in progress.
-----------------
Im a person who only sees red flags, but
SCOUT
On your good side/green flags:
×you're probably a funny guy. You're talkative, you can have hyperfixations on stuff and yap about it till someone won't tell you to shut up
× It's easy for you to get new friends or you just easy to get along with.
×You probably have that middle school boy jokes, and people get annoyed at you, but you try to ignore that.
×You love your mother, or you just like the attention you get.(Even if you make stupid things to get it)
On the bad side/red flags:
×You're probably insecure and not show it at all, just put the other act out, in scout's situation, it's 'tough and cocky guy', what's yours?
×You can act like an asshole and you know it.
×You have very strong daddy issues or you're a mama's person. Or both.
×You need people to like you, you want to impress them no matter what.
×You might deal bad with people leaving you, but you'll try your best not to show it. You're probably also an easy getting jealous person.
×'Have they gotten bored of me already?'
×Also you're very loud, but that's not necessary a bad thing.
One of your love languages might be: physical touch, words of affirmation or gift gifting.
SOLDIER
On your good side/green flags:
×Youre a loyal and blunt person, if you don't like something you'll immediately tell it.
×Youre supportive of people no matter what, but it might come in a pretty aggressive way, sure it can contain exploding someone who hurt your friend/partner.
×you love making gifts, be it a simple bracelet or a cool rock you found outside.
×You are for sure an interesting person, I won't be surprised if you fake stories and then tell it to people.
×You love animals, you'd absolutely squish and pet wild animals. 'What? They have rabies? So do i!'
×You also get hyperfixations on things, and once people trigger a topic you absolutely love, it's impossible to shut you up.
On your bad side/red flags:
×You rarely take people advices. Your way is the best way, at least that's what you think.
×You barely know what boundaries mean, same goes with understanding hints at something or just context of (...)
×If you love someone, you can get to the point of being obsessed with the person, latch onto them and make them focus of your existence. Though doesn't necessary mean you get easily jealous.
×You blocked out people, things, everything just to protect yourself with trauma, not a good thing.
×You might get a little too commanding or dominant, which involves being loud by accident.
One of your love languages might be: physical touch, gift gifting or acts of service
PYRO
On your good side/red flags:
×Youre genuinely a sweet person, but unintentionally make things uncomfortable.
×Youre a talkative guy, but most of the times people have a trouble understanding you. You never held a grudge.
×You adore people, you love doing gifts. As in, you're a pretty creative guy, you might even gift a car to a person..handmade
×You can easily adapt to new situations, at least most of the times.
× You're a very loyal person, you don't get easily jealous and you don't cheat on your partners, well, unless you got drugged and unconscious.
×You might have a cat-like curiosity as well as you're passionate in what you do.
On your bad side/red flags:
×You didn't grow up, you might act childish and annoy people by that.
×You have a lack of awakening, you'll simply delete a person from existence and ignore him, mostly unintentionally
× You might get impulsive or act overly emotional, getting into reckless situations what leads to being hurt.
×You have the humour no one understands, involves a sadistic humour.
×You might like destroying things just because you can.
One of your love languages might be: physical touch, gift gifting or acts of service and quality time.
DEMOMAN
On your good side/green flags:
×Youre forgiving, maybe a little too much. You're a genuinely a good guy, and try to show that to people.
×Youre the life of the party, the main light of it. You know how to make things more fun.×You was/are pressured by your family to be the best, and you act on it.
×You have a strange way of friendship, but i don't blame you for that.
×You also like adventures, so you're the type of a person with which you'll never get bored.
On your bad side/red flags:
×You might have a drinking problem, you have it just to deal with your trauma.
×You grew up faster than you should've, you probably are a caretaker of people who should take care of you.
×You keep many things to yourself, and it's impossible to tell whenever you're serious or not.
Your love language: is basically anything.
HEAVY
On your good side/green flags:
×Youre a protective, sensible and a serious guy.
×You take care of others, even if they don't need it, it's just a natural trait you have.
×People might think you're creepy, but be surprised when they get to know you.
×youre probably the caretaker figure of most people, you're the one who'd sacrifice yourself for someone else.
×you enjoy reading and having a good time with your close people, though you prefer one real friend than 100 fake.
On your bad side/red flags:
×You refuse to talk to people first, and it might take a while for you to open up.
×probably, you can scare people away by intend.
×You'll ignore people if disturbed, and you probably have some self destructing friends.
Your love language: acts of service or quality time.
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yeonboy · 1 year
Text
𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐥 ♡ choi yeonjun // mlist.
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After facing disappointment with love for years upon years, you have chosen to replace romance with dance in your life, dedicating your entire time to this dance academy you’re employed at. It’s not that you hate men now, you just don’t expect to fall for them anymore because all they do is break your heart. And then Choi Yeonjun enters your life as a new recruit at the academy – sweet, adorable, soft spoken, kind and younger than you. He is everything you have never found attractive in a guy before. But somehow, you're helplessly spiraling for him.
❧ choi yeonjun x f. reader | 16+ | smau ♡ comedy ♡ angst ♡ strangers to friends to lovers!au ♡ dance academy!au ♡ 98-liner!reader ♡ dancer!reader ♡ dancer!yeonjun ♡ slow burn.
❧ warnings! profanity, an ABUNDANCE of suggestive jokes, mentions of people's sex lives (or lack thereof), death & murder threats as jokes, some of the characters being assholes for no reason, reader being a commitment phobe, a lot of pining, a ton of miscommunication (hehe ofc <3), misunderstandings, unnecessary heartbreaks + more will be added as the series progresses!
❧ featuring! all of txt | jimin & jungkook (bts) | sakura & kazuha (le sserafim) | yeji & ryujin (itzy) | keeho (p1harmony) | somi (soloist, ex i.o.i).
❧ playlist! trampoline - zayn & shaed ║ easy - camila cabello ║ lavender haze - taylor swift ♪
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❧ status! 23.04.23 ⇢ tba. | on-going | bi-weekly updates
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notes! heyyy, guys! yes, rya smau era 2k23 hehe! i had this idea for a very angsty fic where an older reader has feelings for a younger yeonjun but can't accept it bec he's not her "type"... but when i tried to write it, it got soooo sad and heavy soooo fast that i had to give up 😭 SO! i reckoned why not attempt to do an smau w a lighter version of this concept??? let's hope this turns out okay (:
pls be kind! the last time i wrote an smau was in 2018 so my creativity's got rust in every crevice (': but constructive criticism + suggestions are more than welcome! 🫶
❧ main masterlist | inbox ⁘
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profiles: [1] [2] [3]
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00. intro ║ 01. more nepotism hires ║ 02. grandpa and grandma ║ 03. break a leg (but not yours) [written: 1k] ║ 04. do you like flowers ║ 05. ✨aRtTtT✨ ║ 06. let the boy feel a woman's touch ║ 07. support system ║ 08. liking people we can't have ║ 09. it IS weird ║ 10. ‼ trouble ‼ ║ 11. connecting some big ass dots ║ 12. it's a work in progress ║ 13. dance crush ║ 14. enemies to lovers ║ 15. ohhh my god i'm so stupid ║ 16. at least that’s how it began ║ 17. we're no sidehoe material ❌ ║ 18. jealousy wasn't on my bingo card ║ 19. pesky little feelings ║ 20. why do i know so much ║ 21. it should've been me ║ 22. an overthinker AND a dumbass ║ 23. everything is a mess [written: 500] ║ 24. sum chamgo love dive it is [written: 1k] || 25. feels like a funeral in here ║ 26. let's all act surprised || 27. must start breathing into a bag ║ 28. IDK DUDE IM NERVOUS ║ 29. i wasn't jumping I SLIPPED ║ 30. wdym denial ║ [tba]
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taglist: @bailies-me @samisubi @forever-in-the-sky2 @captivq @jiawji @hyuneyeon @wanlore @softcabur @emohazuzworld @yjusei @marifujioka @taekwondoes @suzirumas @ohmahgods @ye0nvibezzn @mrsyawnzzn @rionah
let me know if you'd like to be added!
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© yeonboy 2023 // do not steal, copy or repost. respect your local content creators, kaythanks.
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nonexistent-introvert · 5 months
Text
Seat Partners 3
Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x f!reader
Word Count: 1.5k
Content: Miguel being blunt, some apologies, and the overall study date. also flirty banter and Miguel letting his guard down
A/N: HELLO IM BACK. i wrote the front part like a month and more ago then continued it so if things dont connect as well im sorry, im kinda rusty when it comes to writing but ik if i procrastinated anymore ill never get back to writing. Also, idrk where im going with this series so... if anyone has any ideas...
part 1 part 2
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   The one thing that both you and Miguel can agree on when it comes to the library is that the study corner seats were the best. Those seats faced a giant window that showcased the streets outside and if you stayed long enough, would be rewarded with the breathtaking views of the sunset. Miguel was pleasantly surprised to see you make a beeline for those seats, most people tend to prefer the seats that were situated in the middle of the library since it was closer to the books and more facilitated group study sessions. 
   “I don’t study anywhere else other than here. If these seats were taken then you would never see me in here.” You whispered to Miguel when you noticed his gaze. He chuckled, “It’s my favorite seat too.” he replied. “Good view and people can’t distract me here.” He added on. “Ok mr popular.” You teased. Miguel has his fair share of admirers who would admire him whenever he is in the same room as any of them. Some even seem to turn into complete mush when he’s around. Miguel had a strong presence, a presence that demanded people’s admiration and respect. You had a weaker presence, someone who wouldn’t be noticed at first glance so you had zero trouble when it comes to being distracted because of someone’s gaze on you. Miguel shook his head, refusing to argue with you as he pulled out his revision materials, eager to consolidate his learning for the week. The silence in the library especially at this section of the library where most people were studying alone and the overall atmosphere was enough to motivate you to start studying too. The heads buried in books, the sound of pages flipping, and the sound of pens moving against the table acted as a sort of peer pressure to get anyone to start studying. 
  Your first study session with Miguel started. The both of you would do your own things, his eyes would fall onto your work every once in a while to check up on you and give you a few nods of encouragement. You picked up your phone, using it to search something up when you felt Miguel’s gaze on you. “I’m not using my phone I swear! I’m just checking something.” You defended immediately, noticing the disapproving look in his eyes. “I haven’t even said anything yet.” He merely replied, glancing over your shoulder and to your phone. You pursed your lips at him, “Actions speak louder than words you know?” He gave you a small smile. “Just making sure,” He leans back into his own seat. “Did I not mention that I would be your Google? Ask me anything you aren’t sure of.” Miguel repeats his words from the earlier lessons. “It’s a stupid question, common sense.” You shrugged, writing down the information on Google. Miguel crossed his arms over his chest, “If it’s common sense then why did you have to google it?” Miguel meant to encourage you to ask him questions you had but it seemed to have had a negative impact on you instead. “I’m an idiot that’s why.” You replied without missing a beat. The usual humour and playfulness in your voice are non-existent. The grip on your pen tightened while you put in more pressure to write the next few words. Miguel pinched his nose bridge, realising that you had interpreted his words the wrong way. “Ay coño” He muttered under his breath. “I didn’t mean-” He turned to you, trying to explain himself only to be cut off by a sheer “Never mind.” He opened his mouth to make his stand known but closed his mouth, realising that you had long shut yourself off towards him, the small furrow in between your eyebrows was enough to tell him that you didn’t want to continue that conversation any longer. 
  The air between the both of you shifted after that, at least it did for Miguel. There was tension in the air that Miguel just couldn’t ignore, he was arguing with himself over the matter of if he should explain his words. The words in the textbook were a blur to Miguel when every sentence he read would be interrupted by his inner turmoil and the regret weighing on his shoulders. So instead, he just kept sneaking glances at you, trying to see if you were in a better mood now. 
   He let out a sigh, running his hands through his hair as he bent over to pick up his bag, knowing that he would just be wasting his time in the library until he cleared his name. Miguel quickly found what he was looking for, a small pack of grape-flavoured chewy candy that he knew you liked. The same ones he saw you sneakily eating in class, the smell of grapes lingering on your breath when you talked to him was enough to give you away. Miguel told himself that it was because he wanted to try it when he decided to buy it upon seeing it in the convenience store despite refusing your various offers of the candy. Deep down, Miguel knew it was because you liked it, and he knew that it would cheer you up. Although he hasn’t found a way to offer it to you yet, he had imagined the smile on your face when he would take the initiative to give it to you. Miguel carefully placed it onto the table, pasting a post-it note onto the candy packaging with a single word on it. “Sorry.” and a small hand-drawn sad face next to it. Miguel exhaled, giving himself encouragement as he leaned over to you again. Miguel gently nudged your shoulder and passed you the candy, quickly returning to his work to hide how nervous he truly was. 
  A smile quickly replaced the confusion on your face. “For what?” You asked, referring to the apology. Miguel’s face burned with a light flush, “The words sounded better in my head, sorry, I meant that you can ask me any questions. You don’t have to necessarily turn to Google.” he slowly trailed off, stuffing his hands into the black jacket that he was wearing. You noticed the discomfort he was feeling at that moment. “You’re tempting me with the candy, no eating in the library.” You reminded him. Miguel looked to his left and then to his right, he sat straighter up in his seat. “Just eat one, and I’ll cover you.” His eyes drifted to the ceilings, looking for any surveillance cameras. You chuckled at him, “Miguel O’Hara! What happened to you abiding by the rules?” You jokingly teased him, knowing that he didn’t indulge in your offers of candy in class. “Hurry.” He simply says, head turning in all directions to keep watch. 
    The sweet familiar taste of grapes in your mouth made you hum happily. You kept looking at Miguel, a small smile forming on your lips. Seeing the smile on your face seemed to lift the guilt off his heart. 
   “You’re staring.” You laughed at him as you chewed on the candy. Miguel snaps out of his daze, turning away from you and back to his textbooks. A faint blush tinted his cheeks. You leaned back on your chair, “Have one.” You offered once again. He clicked his tongue at you, “No thank you.” Miguel busied himself with his notes, still avoiding your gaze. “Why did you buy it if you’re not even going to try it?” You questioned him. Your eyes narrowed at him, “Unless… you were planning on giving it to me already?” Miguel’s eyes snapped to yours, his eyes widened as he snatched the candy from your hand. Miguel cleared his throat as he popped one candy into his mouth. “Why are you looking at me like that?” Miguel asked, noticing the amused look on your face. Your eyes slowly drifted to the surveillance camera. You snickered when you watched the colour drain from his face. 
   “You’re such a bad influence.”
   “It’s called having some fun.” You retorted. 
 =======
    “You’re awfully quiet,” Miguel muttered. You walked next to him, your eyes distracted by the city lights in Nueva York. “Mmm, drained. My brain’s fried.” He chuckled lightly, “But don’t you feel productive?” You shook your head, Miguel seemed more energized than usual, more relaxed, unlike him in class. “Why do you seem less grumpy?” His signature frown returned immediately, “I am not grumpy.” You rolled your eyes at him, “Please do not tell me studying energizes you.” “Feeling productive energizes me.” He corrects. “Workaholic, no lifer, nerd.” You call him names, and he simply chuckles.
    “I hate studying.” You told him. He hums, “Doesn’t take Sherlock to figure that out.” You shoved him lightly. “I can’t believe my first time studying with someone was with you, I never ever study with my friends.” You complained, he snickers. “Wow, I’m your first?” He gave you a teasing look.
   “Don’t make it sound weird.” Miguel bites back the smile on his face. “Well, I hope you had fun on our first- study date,” he announced. You looked at him, laughing sarcastically in his face. “This is the reason why you’re single, if this is what you consider a date, let me tell you, it's horrible.” He shrugs, “That’s what you say for now, but you will keep coming back for more.” he says confidently. 
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