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tojisbbygworl · 8 months

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Open House - Toji Fushiguro x Black!Reader - FFL Series

Summary: Toji was never one to go to open houses; he found them useless and a waste of time, money, and energy. Unfortunately for him, his lovely new wife was adamant on attending. Toji - 29, You - 26, Megumi - 9

Characters: Toji, Megumi, Yuuji

Words: 3,894

Tags: Family/Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Suggestive Content (bcs Toji can’t help himself), Toji’s a Good Dad

Disclaimer: This work is part of a Black!Reader x Toji series I started called Fushiguro Family Life. It's basically a slice of life series with you, Toji and Megumi. None of them are in order and can be read on their own unless stated otherwise.

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authors note: Heyyyyyyy everybody! Very happy that I finally finished this. I love how it ended up and I hope y'all will like it as well! I hope Toji isn't unlikeable here, part of the reason it took so long. Where they live is not specified, but it is heavily based on American culture, so the way Megumi's school is set up is based off of American elementary schools. Okay, I think that's all. Enjoy!

“I can’t wait for my mom to see my project. Ms. Ieiri said I had the best one.”

“She only said that because she didn’t want you to cry like you always do, Miwa.”

Megumi snickered at Yuuji’s jab. They were on the bus finally going back home after a long school day. Him and Yuuji sat together, Yuuji doing most of the talking to the other students like usual.

“I can’t wait for the butterflies to hatch,” Yuuji said excitedly. “My dad’s gonna love them.”

“Butterflies don’t hatch, stupid.” Miwa threw a balled up piece of paper at him. “They sprout.”

“Nuh-uh!”

“Yeah-huh!”

“Hey, Megumi,” The boy looked up at the seat in front of him. Yuta Okkotsu peered down at him over the top. “Is your dad coming to see the butterflies?”

He was referring to the class project. All of 4th grade was learning about the process of metamorphosis and the school had a raffle to see which class won the opportunity to care for a bunch of caterpillars and get to see them as butterflies. Their class won and their teacher decided to showcase the butterflies at the school’s quarterly open houses.

Megumi gingerly shook his head. “Dad never comes to open houses.”

“But you were the one who watched their temperature everyday! So like, you basically made them.” Yuuji stops his argument with Miwa to interject.

All Megumi could do was shrug before the bus finally reached his stop. They all waved goodbye to him as he hopped off with a few other kids. Walking down the street to his house, the smile that was on his face began to drop. While he loves his dad, he wishes he would be more involved in his schooling. On field trips he saw his friends’ parents be volunteer chaperones and whenever the school had events, like the semester kick off, their whole families would be there. His dad didn’t seem to care about those things. He only ever asked him if he did his homework, only emailed the teacher about grades, and only went to parent-teacher conferences which he despised.

His new mom, you, wasn’t really involved either. Megumi doesn’t blame you though. He’s sure you just don’t want to overstep any boundaries or make anyone uncomfortable despite his bio mom not really caring. Actually, his mom didn’t care about anything he did either. Not even his grades or behavior in school. Huh. Maybe that’s why dad divorced her.

Megumi’s got to see those butterflies no matter what it takes. He should talk to you about it. Maybe he can convince you. Because Mom and Dad aren’t going to be moved.

He sees you sitting in your car in the driveway. You usually do get home whenever Megumi does. This would be the perfect time to talk to you without his love sick dad interfering and trying to get your attention. You seemed to be eating something, so you weren’t paying attention to your surroundings. He taps on the door and you look up, frantically trying to hide your food.

When you realize it’s Megumi, you relax. You unlock your door and he opens it up. “Hey, baby,” you tell him endearingly.

He smiles widely at you. “Hey, Y/N.” He looks down at your lap to see a Chipotle bowl sitting in your lap. You were almost done with it. “You got Chipotle?”

“I had it for my lunch but I didn’t finish it,” you explain, taking another bite. “I want to eat it before your dad sees it so he doesn’t try and get any.” Megumi giggles. His dad does have a bad reputation of stealing his and your food. “You can have some, though.”

Megumi hops in the car and closes the door, taking the bowl from your hands. He eats a few bites and hands it back to you. The both of you continue to exchange the bowl, finishing it quickly. It’s when you two are at the last few bites that you speak up. “So, how was school today?”

“Really good! We got our projects back today.”

“The one where you draw the metamorphosis cycle?”

Megumi nods and swallows the food in his mouth. “Uhm, I actually wanted to talk to you about something.” You get a worried look on your face and he quickly dismisses it. “No, it’s nothing bad. I just…uhm…here.” He reaches into his book bag and pulls out a folder. In the folder, he pulls out a sheet of paper and hands it to you. Looking at it, you gasp in excitement. It was an RSVP slip for the coming open house.

“You want me to go to your open house?” You ask him happily. Megumi blushes and nods.

“Only if you want to,” he quickly says.

“Of course I do, honey!” You pulled out a pen from your purse and quickly wrote your name. And then you wrote Toji’s. Megumi’s smile dropped and he gulped. You looked over at him. “What’s wrong? Do you not want your dad to come?”

“I…I do. It’s just…dad…doesn’t want to come.”

You raised a brow. “Oh?”

Megumi scratched his head. “He thinks they’re a waste of time. He only goes to conferences and stuff.”

You get a look of realization on your face. “Oh. Is that why I never hear anything about school?” Megumi nods. You become deep in thought and your brows start to furrow. “Hmph. He won’t think that for long, Megumi. I promise.” You hand the paper back to him and he puts it in his folder, just slightly anxious about what the future may hold. But, you were very excited too. You also hand him the bowl to finish and excitedly, he takes it.

Just before his last bite, there’s a slam on his window. You and Megumi look up at the giant hand belonging to Toji. You still looked irritated.

Megumi rolls down the window. “What do you want, old man?”

“Hey, I’m still in my 20s,” he answers.

“Barely!”

“What the hell are you two doing in here, huh?” He asks. He looks down at his son’s hands. He jerks his head to the side and stares at you incredulously. “So you got Chipotle for the both of you and didn’t want to bring me any?”

You gave him a hard blink, still annoyed by what Megumi just told you. “You don’t deserve a bowl.” You say, half jokingly.

“What did I do?” He asks. You don’t answer, instead you goad Megumi to finish it and exit the car. Toji watches his son eat the last bite and smile at him, rolling the window back up and opening the door. Megumi hands Toji the trash and walks inside with his stepmother leaving his butt hurt dad in the driveway.

It’s past 9 when you enter Megumi’s room to check on him. You knock a few times to make sure he hears it just in case he has any headphones in. He does and you hear some shuffling before he finally shouts, “Come in!”

You open the door to the dark room with only his bed being lit up by his night light which you have sworn to secrecy to never tell his friends that he still needs it. You smile at him snuggled up in his sheets. “Did I wake you?” You ask him, already knowing the answer. Megumi shakes his head.

“Okay. Good night then.” You tell him, blowing him a kiss.

“Goodnight, Y/N,” he tells you, ready to whip out his switch that was hiding under his pillow when the door closes. “Oh, wait, Y/N?”

You enter back into the doorway. “Yes?”

Megumi hesitates to ask you, but he gathers up his courage. “Is dad really going to come to the open house this time?” he asks.

He relaxes when you give him your sweet smile. “I promise he will,” you tell him.

With that Megumi nods and turns over leaving you to close his door and head to your own room, already knowing Toji’s going to have a time trying to wake him up tomorrow. He really thinks he’s slick pretending that he doesn’t play on his switch when he should be asleep, but you can always tell when he wakes up the next day, groggy as all hell, looking like he could drop any minute.

When you finally enter your room, your darling husband is there to await you. His large body is spread across the bed, waiting for you to get in with him. He grins at you with his hands behind his head shifting his lower body down. “Hey, beautiful,” he winks at you stupidly.

Whereas any other day you would fall for his charm, you were not amused by him. You ‘hmph’ and walk to the other side of the bed where you use all your strength to throw the rest of his big body ass on the opposite side and fall into the mattress. Toji, who was finally fed up with the animosity you’ve been having towards him all day, sits up and looks at you.

“Okay, what’s the problem?” he asks. “You’ve been mad at me since we got home. You even let Megumi eat the ice cream you said I could have.” He sounded so whiny, you couldn’t help but giggle at his ridiculousness. “So you’re just being a brat for no reason?”

“No,” you finally answer. You shift your body around to face him and he wraps his arm around your torso to kiss you. “I am upset with you.”

“But why? What did I do?” he asks.

You sigh and sit yourself up on your elbow. “Megumi told me something interesting.”

Toji began to think the worst. He thought the kid had let one of his deep dark secrets slip, like when you still lived on your own and Toji would hang onto his phone like an addict just waiting on a text from you. “Oh, yeah?” He played it off.

You nodded. “He told me you don’t like coming to fun events for school. Like field trips and parties. And open houses…” you trailed off.

Toji narrowed his eyes. “Open houses are not fun. Did he bother you about that shit today?”

You slap his chest. “He did not bother me, he asked me sweetly and I said yes.”

Toji scoffs. “Well, you have fun with that-“

“And you’re coming too.”

Toji’s jaw hangs open as he looks at you in disbelief. “What do you mean I’m coming too?”

“I signed your name up on his little RSVP paper, and-“

“Babe,” he says exasperated. You glare at him, not appreciating how much of a baby he was being. Honestly, if he was any more dramatic it would give you the ick for days. “Come on,”

“Wha-, you come on!” You say disappointed. “What is wrong with you? It’s just an open house.”

Not wanting to argue with you anymore, Toji sighs and gives up. He knows there’s nothing he could say to keep him from going, and he would hate to disappoint you any more than you already are. He kisses your forehead and holds your cheek. “Okay, baby. I’m sorry. I’ll go.”

You still weren’t satisfied. You knew he was only saying that because he didn’t want to upset you anymore, not because he had a change of heart. But, you got what you wanted, there’s no point in stretching things out. So you kissed his lips and smiled at him. “Thank you, baby.”

You were ready to sleep, but of course, he took that as an invitation. He smirked at you and leaned in for another kiss which you happily gave him. Then, he took more and more from you, squeezing you closer to him. He moved his hands down your body pushing your torso into his and sticking his tongue in your mouth. You squeal and pull away giggling at him. “Babe-,”

“Shh, come here.” He whispers, attacking your neck immediately afterwards. You stifle your moan by biting your lip. You knew you were getting worn out tonight. Good thing you don’t work tomorrow morning.

It’s the night of the open house and the school is bustling with parents, students, and staff alike. There’s a general welcome area with information about upcoming school events, and any questions that parents may have along with snack tables. You were walking right behind Megumi who was excited. Even though he was perfectly calm and walking leisurely, you could see from the small smile on his face that he was happy.

Toji could see it too. He was walking behind the both of you, not too far away. He’d never seen Megumi more relaxed or ready to leave the house before. It was weird.

Megumi led his parents to the 4th grade corridor where he pointed out various class projects that littered the walls in front of each classroom. “Mr. Geto’s class made this really cool honeycomb project. They were all given a hexagon and drew their own bees on it.” He explained to you. You oohed and aahed at everything he pointed out. He seemed to want to tell you about all the projects his friends made as well.

Before you all got to his class at the end of the hall, you looked around for your giant of a husband and found him practically dragging his feet towards you. You glared at him which made him roll his eyes and pick up the pace. Quickly you looked at Megumi sighing in relief that he didn’t notice.

“Oh, sweetie,” you say to him when you all reach Ms. Ieiri’s room. “Did you guys not have a class project? What about the metamorphosis thing?”

Megumi grins at you. “That’s on the wall inside. Our project was really cool and special. You’ll see.”

With that, you all walked inside and took your seats. Megumi sat you all around his desk, with him getting up to talk to his friends when they arrived too. Yuuji was the most excited to see him. “Megumi!” He shouted running over to him. Megumibarely had time to get up before he was practically tackled. “You’re here!”

The pink haired boy got off of him and smiled at you while holding his arms out. “Hi, Mrs. L/N.”

Miwa rears her head out of nowhere taking the hug you were going to give Yuuji. She sticks her tongue out at him. “It’s Mrs. Fushiguro now, dummy.”

“Don’t call him dummy!” Nobara, who also just walked in, scolds.

“You should hear how she talks to me on the bus,” Yuuji interjects. Megumi, quiet as ever, is just happy to be here.

So are you. The kids are hilarious and make you giggle. But you shouldn’t be getting entertained by a bunch of children, you should be speaking with your husband. You turn to talk to him, only to see him knee deep in his phone, leaning against the chair like no one’s business.

You scoff. “You could pretend to be interested,” you lean over and whisper to him.

“Hasn’t even started yet,” he responds, not taking his eyes off the screen. You roll yours. You guess he’s right, but it’s the principle of it all.

At 8:00 on the dot, Shoko claps her hands to get everyone’s attention. “Okay everyone, we’ll be starting now so please take your seats.” You give Toji a sharp glare. He glances up at you, rolls his eyes again, and puts his phone away.

Shoko starts off with a welcome and a thank you. From then she wastes no time eager to talk about the assignments and fun projects that the kids have done. She seems like she’s rushing, and you don’t really understand why until you remember the ‘special project.’

“The children cut out, pasted, and colored in the cycle of metamorphosis which they all absolutely killed,” she starts another round of applause which everyone joined in for. Everyone except Toji.

If he looked as though he didn’t want to be there, that would be correct. He did not want to be there at all. He was looking around lazily at all the projects and Megumi’s own caught his eye every time. It was cute…but that’s all it was to him.

He really didn’t need to be here. At all. But you felt as though he did. Why? Why couldn’t it have just been you? Megumi has amazing grades, outstanding behavior, and perfect attendance. He has good friends and doesn’t get bullied, what else is there to talk about? At least, that’s how he sees it.

He’s so busy sulking that he failed to see his wife giving him a death stare. You were over his piss poor attitude and was ready to stick your foot in his ass. When Toji finally looked towards the front of the class, he saw the steam leave your ears and nostrils and gulped. You turned around and whispered into Megumi’s ear. Then, without bringing too much attention to yourself, you hit Toji’s shoulder and walk out the classroom, with him following suit.

The both of you walked a good distance from the class into the hallways where it was mostly empty. You stop to look at him and he leans against a wall. “What’s going on?” You ask him.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean why have you been so…I don’t know…disconnected tonight?” You raise your arms in frustration. “What was the point of us coming here if you’re not going to pay any attention?”

He lifts himself off the wall. “You know, that is a good question.” You fold your arms. “What is the point of bringing me here? In fact, I’m still not sure what the point of being here is either.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m saying that I hate coming to these things because they never talk about anything important.” He finally says. “Just things that they do for fun in class. I don’t need to know about that.”

You shake your head at him. “Why are you so disinterested in Megumi’s schooling?”

“Now you’re putting words in my mouth.” He holds his finger up at you. He thought he was making himself clear, but he’d be damned if you were going to accuse him of being a dead beat. “I care about Megumi’s education, but this other shit, cute projects and festivals, those aren’t important.”

As you try to piece together your thoughts, he finalized his opinion. “Megumi is a good student. That’s all that matters.”

Finally, you let out a sigh. “You know what, you’re right,” you start, shocking your husband. “The stuff on the side isn’t important in the grand scheme of things. But…it is important to Megumi.”

Toji opens his mouth, but quickly realizes he doesn’t have a response. “Have you looked at him at all tonight?” You ask. “Have you ever seen him so energized? He’s happy.”

Have you ever wondered why he thinks you’re so boring?” Toji jerks his head back. Where did that come from? “It’s because you’re only into the boring shit. Grades and behavior marks are boring, babe. Drawing, arts and crafts, games, music, candy, the zoo; those are all fun. And Megumi loves that, so we have to love it too.”

“I-“

“He was so excited that you were coming tonight. They have something special going on that he really didn’t want to miss. Megumi wants you here, baby. And, I bet he’ll be an angel now.”

Toji looks at the ground and thinks about what you said. You were right, Megumi was very happy tonight. And he starts to realize something; he’s only ever seen Megumi’s homework and test grades. He hadn’t seen an arts and crafts project or a drawing he made since preschool where that was all they did. Megumi thinks that- no. He knows that his father doesn’t care about that. And that thought…hurts.

He didn’t care, but he’ll start now.

“You’re right,” he tells you, even though you definitely already know. “I guess…I never liked this kind of shit when I was a kid. I didn’t really have great friends and my family never cared either.” He looks up at you. “I tried really hard to make sure Megumi didn’t grow up like I did, I think I overlooked a few things.”

“But, you’re an amazing father, baby. Megumi loves you, even though you are boring,” you jest. Toji laughs warmly and approaches you. He kisses your lips and pulls you in for an embrace.

He loves you; so much. You’re so caring and mindful of his son. He knew you would be a great stepmother. He couldn’t wait to officially give you that title when you finally said your vows only last year.

“Let’s go back before we miss the surprise.”

You gasped when Shoko finally talked about the butterfly project. They were gorgeous with orange wings and yellow tips, native to the region. They were currently inside a blue tent with the keeper. Since Megumi had the most important job as the temperature keeper, a fact that got a pat and a head rub from his father, your family, along with the Itadori’s, got to go in first.

Megumi and Yuuji couldn’t contain their excitement for a second and had to be scolded to sit down by their parents. You sat next to Toji, a butterfly landing in your locs that were currently Toji’s favorite color, Cajun Spice. One lands on Megumi’s and Yuuji’s noses, making you squeal from how cute it was and leading you to pull out your phone to take a picture. Toji pulls out his as well, snapping one of you before the butterfly has a chance to fly away. Luckily, many of them had the same idea and your hair was covered in them. You were so beautiful, they could pass for actual hair accessories. Toji took a picture of you smiling.

You all laughed when they started landing on him, the entire tent cackling when he was covered with them. His miffed face added to the atmosphere, and you took as many pictures as you could.

When it was all said and done, you all began walking back to the car. You ran to the bathroom, telling the boys not to wait up. So, it was Toji’s and Megumi walking into the parking lot.

It was quiet for a second, Toji thinking about all the ways he could make it up to his son and looking at the upcoming events flier to see one that may interest him. Suddenly, he feels a smaller body on his legs and torso. It was Megumi giving him a hug.

“Thanks for coming, dad,” he says quickly, the sound almost completely muffled by Toji’s shirt. He gets off of him just as quickly, thankful that it was too dark to see his red face. Toji thought the same.

“You’re welcome.” He says back, the both of them hopping into the car and staying quiet pretending the other doesn’t exist.

After a few minutes of silence, Megumi speaks up. “Can this please not be the only time ?” He asks his father.

Toji smiles to himself. “I promise it won’t.” With that, you finally enter the car, the 3 of you driving off happy as can be.

ending a/n: I hope you all enjoyed that! I really wanted to make it clear that Toji isn't a bad father, he does care and he cares in his own way that isn't detrimental to Megumi's being either. And, I wanted to give insight to what yours and Megumi's relationship looks like and how Toji feels about it. The next story should not take as long to come out I promise. Y'all don't understand this one was MONTHS in the making I started this series in March LMAOO! Also, I've went ahead and made a form to sign up for the taglist. It'll be open probably indefinitely as I don't see myself officially stopping the series anytime soon. If there's ever a hiatus, it'll be because I need to think of more ideas.

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#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #Toji #toji fushiguro #toji x reader #toji x black reader #toji fushiguro x black reader #toji fushiguro x reader #black reader #toji fluff

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dykeomania · 8 months

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as hockey season approaches:

an extended headcanon that's been in my head for a year. character-analysis-y. ellie. abby. messiness. this was just in my notes app, it's mid, y'all can have it.

i have this scene that I've written and rewritten in my head a million times where it's hockey!ellie (college athlete) and all of her friends/exes/lol? who are on the team (cat, riley, and dina) sitting in the farthest back row of a solemn team meeting.

ellie's a stellar forward. abby's a stellar goalie. they play for the same team, but the friction is crazy. and see what had happened was -- everyone knows that ellie and abby's friend groups don't like each other. and alright, fine, coach marlene has worked to create an environment where that can simply be at lax. but anyone with a set of eyes and basic common sense can tell that what happened was simply six years worth of whispers behind hands and shit-talking in group chats brought to fruition, and it's curious how it didn't happen sooner. the explosion, to put it lightly, in which during both of their sophomore seasons at BC when ellie checked abby's shoulder on the ice after a failed near-goal-face-off, which turned into expletives flying through the plexiglass like bullets, which turned into helmets flying and both of them being on the ground of the ice wailing at each other, was clearly an overdue manifestation of eachother's frustrations and presumptions. it was unclear who shoved who first but, alas, it was irrelevant.

and as entertaining as it was to watch, no one won. because let's really get into it: ellie can't help that she's trailer park trash. she can't help that she grew up in bumfuck, wyoming and moved to fucking dorchester / haverhill / wherever the fuck while abby got to spend the summers with her family on the cape. she can't help that abby is daddy's-money-fuck-you-rich and they get to go their winter cabin over christmas break, and ellie doesn't want to go home because she hasn't really faced her father figure since she left for college and frankly, she doesn't know if she wants to.

she can't help that she's the first one in her family to do this and she had to work for everything -- her scholarship to the prep school that both her and abby went to, her athletic scholarship to BU -- whereas abby is a third-generation-doctor in the making who could simply just afford to be anywhere. she can't help that the end of the day, despite all of the work she's put in, she still has to be here. and look at the back of abby's fuckass fishtail braid.

abby on the other hand, can't help that when everytime she searches the stands for her dad's face during games, she only sees most of ellie's family waving banners and flags. she can't help that that's how it's always been. she can't help that her dad doesn't have time to care about the work she's putting in to school and to hockey, and she can't help that ellie gets to be normal -- gets to sleep, gets to party, gets to hang out and fuck whoever she wants with no consequence, and never, ever invites her to the fucking pregame.

she can't help that ellie doesn't spend as much time thinking -- about working out, about watching what she's eating, about socializing; seriously, how the fuck does she socialize so effortlessly despite being the dimmest fucking person she's ever seen--

like, it's six years in the making. from boarding school, to now.

all those punches, all that yelling, all that cussing, all that spitting,

and yet, no one won.

and you know what? maybe if they knew about how much they actually had in common, things would've turned out differently. they would be pleasantly surprised to find out that they could have conversations about their relationships with their father figures, and how thanksgiving is typically the worst holiday of the year. how to some extent, at the end of the day, it's all for a photo op. ellie is naturally good at hockey and is having a great time in college, but has a degree to bring home to her family, and to her demise, she wants that degree to have "astrophysics" on it. abby doesn't even know if she wants to go to medical school. but she knows that if she doesn't get in, despite everything that advantages her (which is a real fucking possibility according to her, given that she got a C-in orgo) it'd just be another reason for her dad to not look at her. and really, that's all she wants. just to fucking be seen.

but unfortunately, no gives a fuck about that.

so ellie will continue to keke in the group chat with her friends and abby will continue to openly talk shit with hers, and who knows? if shit doesn't hit the fan, then maybe they can get to a point in the conversation where they can finally agree to just let shit slide. maybe ellie will finally agree to start inviting abby to their fucking pregames.

but as of rn, ellie's gonna keke in her group chat.

because no way abby just tried to call out ellie's dating habits when she's fucking one of their coaches on the low--

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams #abby anderson #i guess dare i say #ellabs #lmfao #gn

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victimsofyaoipoll · 1 month

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Round 3

Propaganda under the cut

Shiv Roy

She's honestly kind of a canonical victim of yaoi almost. She and her husband Tom have a loveless marriage but never end up getting divorced. Tom has a weird psychosexual obsession with Shiv's cousin Greg and at one point literally compares them all to the time Emperor Nero pushed his wife down the stairs and then castrated and married a slave boy named Sporus (Tom is unwell). Anyway the show just ended and long story short Tom is now CEO of Shiv's family's evil company and she is reduced to being his pregnant wife (which is the result of her voting not to authorize either of her brothers as CEO in order to save them from themselves) and Tom made another weird comment about literally owning Greg. And now people who ship Tom and Greg are like "omg it's canon we won" but I don't. Think that they did. Sorry I'm rambling it was just a really good finale idek if this counts but

I will be honest I'm not really tuned into the tomgreg fandom, but tons of people wanted tom to leave shiv and get with greg and tons of people thought shiv was the devil incarnate and refused to see any nuance in her character and I don't think those two things are a coincidence.

She gets a lot of hate from fans, largely just for being a woman who reacts in a non pretty way to abuse and for doing the exact same shitty stuff her brothers do. But also a large part of the hate she gets comes from the people who ship her husband with her cousin. To the point where people claim she's abusing her husband who views her as an accessory, a baby factory, and a ticket to money. Don't get me wrong, their relationship is incredibly toxic and unhealthy, but it is so on both of their parts. But Shiv's the only one who gets criticized for it

Peggy Carter

She’s a victim of Stucky mainly bc of the way marvel used her to give Steve an ooc ‘happy ending, but I know I’ve seen some posts calling her toxic or something it was 2019 so In CAT:FA, she’s introduced as a confident British agent. She has some chemistry w Steve Rogers (although more fans (on tumblr at least) preferred Steve and Bucky). She wasn’t just *woman who is strong*, but also had some emotional depth, with an actual range of emotion outside of angry and sad. She had a spin-off show, and she just continued to fight Russians and misogynists, even having chemistry in an almost wlw relationship and an eventual marriage to a famous shield agent. She went through character development and just was an awesome character. Then you know what endgame does? It has Steve Rogers travel back in time and take all of that development away. Most fans were mad at Marvel, and a lot were mad at Steve, but some fans threw Peggy completely under the bus, saying that they traded the (fanon?) queer ship/(canon) friendship for a bland love interest, which, um, she was so much more then that? I remember people really disliking Peggy, which isn’t fair to her character when she is/was so much more then that.

Peggy is vilified by people who ship Steve with his war comrade Bucky Barnes. I’ve even seen people claiming baselessly that she was secretly HYDRA the whole time.

She gets in the way of stucky which OBVIOUSLY gives people, most of them women themselves, the right to be ridiculously misogynistic. Dismissing her character arc, traits, presence in the movies and her part in Steve Roger's life, saying she is insignificant on the ground of very subjective readings is one thing, but outright calling her 'just some old coochie', among other colourful, wonderful things, is another. They also keep reaching to villainize her (saying she's a literal nazi which she's not) and cancel her so their ship is somehow made more valid for it, erasing the competition as it were.

#round 3 #poll #shiv roy #succession #peggy carter #marvel #marvel comics #mcu

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honeyedheartss · 1 year

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the seattle pre show! I'm a lil late but here u go

- he went to pikes place and the space needle and saw a lady selling hot cider and thought it was whimsical

- he asked us if we liked living in Seattle and we were the only city who mainly said yes. the only other place who's said they like where they live was Wales.

- coffee or tea? he is a "coffee slut".

- if he left right then to get a tattoo he would have to be very drunk because he has commitment issues but he would wind up getting the original horny starbucks logo with the mermaid showing her tits and spreading fin

- someone asked "have you had dicks?" which he was offended by, and then read that it was a local burger joint. he was SO happy he could get a Bag of Dicks. he wound up talking about it for almost a minute and said he would go get a bag of dicks after the show.

- last anime he watched was my hero academia because he was catching up

- favorite anime of all time is Fullmetal Alchemist. he hasn't watched all if it just a few episodes and "there's a really cute scene of a dad and her daughter" [he said verbatim but he meant a daughter and her dad obvs]

- he was asked how he came up with the concept for the show and he said one morning he woke up and screamed bc the world was going to end and decided to make a show.

- his strangest phobia is a fear of man made objects underwater.

- someone told him to name 3 Hatsune Miku songs or they would leave and he DID!! and in record time too

- his clickbait title for the show would be "Potential Dan Ass Reveal?"

- he doesn't wear any layers under his jumpsuit (which the theatre all went "ew" to) and he ripped it because someone shouted "cunt" at him and he squatted too fast

- he is pro-soup!

- BUT he is VEHEMENTLY against people who think cereal is a soup

- someone brought their mom and he told her to close her ears and her eyes and he was sorry

- he was asked about his history with DDR and he said he actually played it as a kid and got good at it and now he's the person who's too good at it to be cool because you go to play with friends and then there is an annoying fuck doing jumps and combos and you don't enjoy it anymore and that's him

- very offended that someone asked him how to survive college

- "British people aren't real they were created by the American government so they could be the victims of history"

- he doesn't like boba :(

- "what is something that keeps you motivated to do youtube" nothing.

- "is dystopia daily for the bit bc all of it feels like it's for the bit but none of it does" he said they'd nailed the vibe of the show.

the guests are always confused and scared but Phil was the most weirded out. Dodie went with it and his gramma rolled with it and spit back sass really fast and he said he should replace Phil with his gramma.

- he filmed a dystopia daily with Louise but she was very scared and he's not sure how much of it is going to be approved to post even after editing

- he was asked how much money to eat a chip off the ground and he said he would probably pay us to eat floor chips. they spilled pickles in the bus and put the floor ones on the table when they were cleaning up and he snuck and ate them when no one was around

- called himself a "dirty pickle bitch"

- told someone to name their cat Susan 3

- in regards to his election day photo "democracy needs saving and I will post a nude for democracy"

- his toxic trait is that he's always right. if he doesn't know the answer to something he won't give an opinion and when he does and someone disagrees he waits for them to Google it with a smug look on his face

- he doesn't think he would have finished law school in an alternate universe, he would have been on OnlyFans

- his favorite Disney character is the Beast from Beauty and the Beast

- someone asked when he was going back to the spray tan and he got offended that they thought it was fake and said "no I just used to go on holiday with my family. and phil. and now I don't touch sunlight"

- his favorite song to play on piano is the final fantasy song he posted on his story a while ago or Chopin's Nocturne in C-Sharp Minor

- he just roasted the shit out of the 12 yo who sold him that axe

- he got Phil a pair of socks that had sasquatch being abducted by UFOs

- his favorite tree is a Maple tree and he thinks they're very dainty

- he's not an influencer he's an artist 🙄

- when he's at olive garden he let's them grate the cheese for an uncomfortably long time. he is a 'whore for parmesan'

- his starter for pokemon violet was the gay duck. obviously.

- someone blamed him for why they're gay and he said we're not allowed to bill him for our therapy

- his past self would be terrified, excited, and more than mildly concerned at his present state of being.

- we all need to love our younger selves because if he can love the version of himself that made Hello Internet then we can love the version of ourselves who wore cat whiskers because of him

- the tour is about celebrating that we are all still alive despite the cat whiskers and 2015 and healing our inner childs

- and then he bullied someone wearing a Llama hat.

- the end <3

#daniel howell #wad preshow #wad tour #we're all doomed #dan howell

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mitsurichan3 · 6 months

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Yknow its crazy its been a year since the fall out. Im definitely doing a little better in some ways, and worse in others.

Im okay but it could be better. TLDR im finding that i am in a little bit of a rut and i am struggling to find a sense of direction in my personal life now that im 25.

Day job, career, art woes, social life, financies and priorities are all confusing rn lol but im managing somehow. Specifics below.

If you decided you wanted specifics here you go.

Work started rough this school season. The schedule is a fucking mess. Two districts are struggling and are hot messes. New part timer joined the fray in the middle of all of this so its training a person ontop of the already chaotic mayhem.

The friend fall out with that bitch still has me... frustrated. Some days i can go about my day without blinking an eye, some days i still go through anger and frustration and bitterness and feeling disgusted with myself that i gave so much to this person only to be thrown under the bus on a public timeline where she twisted the fucking narrative to be in her favor when it actually didnt happen that way. Her name sickens me. Everything that is associated with her is tainted and i cant enjoy shit like i used to because how deep the betrayal goes down to my core. Fuck you, i hope you actually have the worse kind of miserable life she can actually live.

Ontop of this i feel... inadequate. I feel like I am doing too much at once, and nothing at all at the same time. Yes my life has gotten quieter and i have room now to do things i have always wanted to do, but now that i have that wiggle room, things feel far more isolating than before. I feel alone. I do a lot of stuff, now, alone. It gets lonely. I do go out with friends ocassionally, but its not the same. I dont feel that sense of direction that helps with calming my anxiety down. I have always known i was an anxious person but having a sense of direction and of moving forward has always kept me calm. Not anymore.

I dont check tumblr as often as I would like in the past but I also am using it more purposefully filthy but it helps some nights though i have consistently gotten a bit of love here too. An old pokemon piece gets a like every now and then. It brings me a little bit of hope knowing people do go through the tag and DIG EXTENSIVELY for things.

Im frustrated that I am not moving forward in my art making career and artist era. I am mostly putting my efforts and energy in maintaining my day job bc its a realiable source of income and it saddens me to know it is coming to that point in my life where safety is better than taking risks and not following my dreams. My supervisor is aware that i am looking for ways to grow professionally in a more creative environment but i dont know... unless I can get the ppl on the internet to help support my artistic endevors i dont think it would be a good move to quit the museum when I still have car loans to pay. ugh priorities.

I do want to post more consistently and show more of my art. Recently i went to an art sale hosted by my university and to tell yall the truth It was such a flop it hurt. Not because we didn't sell, but because the other artist vending got soooo many compliments on her artwork while my ceramics were just catching dust. People werent.. gravitating towards it. And it hurts. I poured my heart and soul making those pieces but I guess it serves me for not putting in MORE effort into making better art. Ughhh.

The idea of going back to school for a master's degree is.. exciting but I am not sure if that is the path i want to go down. I just want to live happy in a comfortable life doing what i love aka making art. And dont get me wrong i have ideas its just!... sigh, energy. Time. Effort. Most importantly comfort .

I am trying to rethink ways of diversifying my income venues and put 250% more effort into the platforms and venues inrl and online that are producing a bit of money for me. I want to make prints. I want to make stickers. I want to make paintings. I want to stream more often and stick to a consistent schedule. I want to earn a living making things I love. I dont want to be stuck in corporate all my life. I want to MAKe!!!

Sigh.

#personal #status update #updates

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inutaffy · 11 months

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riverdale recap. didnt live blog this part my bad

kurtz fuckinf died. RIP MY GREASY JUNKIE BABE. he got killed by the gargoyle king

gladys (jugheads mom) left town. one bc she put jellybean in danger with the whole drug trade thing ans two bc FP foudn out about it and hes. Peeved. and the sheriff so. she's disappearing for a bit she says.

black hood, betty's dad faked his death. came back only to be shot by penelope blossom during a game she put on to prove that betty/jughead/archie/veronica were just as dark as the rest of the town. they weren't.

oh yeah penelope blossom is the gargoyle king

hiram lodge got fucjing arrrested. for illegal gambling and the like.

hermione lodge got arrested bc hiram told the police that she tried to kill him. twice

junior prom happened ans betty was attacked by the black hood (this happened obviously before she was killed)

cheryl wasn't allowed to be prom queen bc of some stupid farmie rule (cult behavior) something something the one become many the many one. idk. anyway she was pissed about it. as she should be shout out my egoistical lesbian icon

oh yeah hiram got arrested bc when he "sold" pops chock lit shop veronica, he actually tricked her. he kept the deed and gave her a fake so she was In Fact. putting money back into his pocket. she got pissed about that brought the fbi in to get him caught in the act and staged this whole thing.

hiram also literallt almost killed a teenager in the ring over some stupid shit. grown ass 50 yr old man literallt threw the ref and said "THIS ENDS NOW‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️" like fuck dude calm down hes 17

speaking of archie, hes in his regular self destructive tendencies he tried to fight 2 fights in the same day AFTER losing 6 pounds of weight. crazy shit.

oh yeah the whole prom thing they all dressed up as medieval times and betty had to be crowned prom queen bc she's. the gryphon queen or some shit and in the gargoyle king's gospel it said that the gryphon queen's coronation would bring about the gargoyle king arrival blah blah.

right like i said about the black hood attacking betty at prom? that was bc she received a note saying she needs to go see the king immediately, before the crowning. something blah blah if you say something everyone will die. and then she almost died.

also to escape, hal cooper, the black hood. cut his hand off and threw it on the burning transfer bus (he was supposed to be going to another prison. betty literallt thoight he escaped as soon as she heard because he specfically asked her to help him get transfered to a facility in riverdale.) to make everyone believe he was dead. so he h. so he had. so he had a hook for a hand.

he also killed like 5 other people at prom before trying for betty. all while the juniors were in the gym

after the black hood scare, she went to her mom, who's with the farm whos been using the old "Sisters Of Quiet Mercy" building for their uses. basically they're an ex nun group who did bad mental health services. and also part orphanage. ANYWAY after the black hood scare betty decided to stay with her mom in the cultish farm facility.

#theres more hold on

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artsychaosbean · 11 months

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I'm so terrified I don't know what to do

My mother was kicked off of disability for getting "too much money" She was on old age pension and disability. Every single cent went into bills, rent and food and medication for a household of 4. Along with the money I get every 3 months, the money my siblings make off of their freelance careers. All of it went into living expenses.

But we STILL never had enough for a full 4 weeks of groceries, we scraped by on 2 - 3weeks of groceries. We STILL never had enough for our disability diets for mom and I so we ate the least. And we dont have enough never had enough for all the medications we need like my vitamins and supplements for my deficiencies or the medicine for my stomach issues, or mom's thyroid medicine.

Never been able to afford asthma medicine or seizure medicine. Even if it wasn't for her paying for us to live too. It STILL isn't enough to cover just her medications or food. Majority of it goes into bills and rent. Very little is left over for food or medicine which is why I and my siblings chip in to try to help.

But its still "Too much money"? Even when if she was alone she STILL couldn't live off of it? We live in the cheapest house in the area, thats including among other neighbouring towns. We eat UNDER the calorie limit we should be, we never throw a single bit of food out unless its unuseable. We eat like mice nibbling on everything we eat and trying to fill more space with water so we don't eat as much every meal.

So mom was kicked off, and we don't know what we're going to do. Theres no jobs in my town, we cant drive or afford a license much less a car. We cant pay for a daily bus pass for interviews we have no garuntee in passing and getting a job from, out of town and back.

We don't have the ability to save up to do so either and mom and I are disabled we can't work we physically are unable to. My eldest sibling has a screwed up knee, we all have PTSD bc the system failed us when I was younger and left my family stuck in an abusive situation to protect me from being r*ped when I was a m!nor bc its all we could do. We went through years of court cases, and s*xual and physical abuse until I was 14 when the monster died. Then years of stalking and attempted break ins, harassment, by the a**holes family until I was 19 with no one in my town helping not even law enforcement. So we have PTSD, things like ambulances, sirens from cop cars, sirens from fire trucks cause us to have panic attacks. We struggle to be separated bc for survival we never could be. We have flashbacks out of our control. No amount of therapy fixes it. We can't afford therapy anymore either. Yet its being decided we are "Able enough to work" and we make too much money by having just enough to barely scrape by or survive?

The system is so broken, cold hearted and cruel and it NEEDS to change it NEEDS to be fixed. Just because our disabilities are invisible like PTSD and Epilepsy or inconsistant where some days the pain isn't as bad as others or is sporradic like tourettes doesn't mean we aren't disabled.

and my older sibling and I still have dental work to get done. The only place in town that takes people with anxiety is going to charge around 2.5k to do both mine and my sibling's teeth. plus we have to get mom's top dentures fixed and my other sibling needs a tooth fixed. So thats even more. But my one sibling and I can't wait until free dental is in for us in 2025. The dental plan will take too long for us. Our teeth can't wait that long, their's has active decay and mine is in severe pain and worn down from bruxism from tourettes. My whole family needs new glasses but we cant even afford an appointment to get a prescription for them much less afford a pair of glasses from any local shops. What are we going to do? I feel helpless and scared. I'm watching my whole family destroy themselves in depression over the news because they lost all hope in seconds because we CANT get back on disability and theres no hope in this town. Its so painful. All I can do now is try to act like everything is normal and keep myself distracted so I can stay the strong one for them. But im terrified. I'm really terrified. Its hard to even afford pads in my town its so expensive just for a bag of pads. When we have to buy more it means less food. What will I do now? I can't use any alternatives bc of medical reasons, pads are my only option among feminine products. Even if no one can help us, can I please ask everyone regardless of your religion to keep us in your prayers? Just incase it might help. I like to keep hope and believe it would. And even if you aren't religious please send us your good thoughts and energy. I believe the universe will get it to us still anyways. Maybe im being a bit silly but right now I need anything to believe in to get through this. Yknow?

#Disabilities #Trigger warning #financial issues #anxiety #tourettes #abuse mention #epilepsy #mental health #physical health #abuse survivor #dysfunctional family #family #struggle #fear of the future

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twogyuu · 1 year

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TW: this is just word vomit ahead bc episode 4 of 'youth of may' made me feel and think so many things :') nobody cares but this is my dumping grounds of feels for entertainment so-

FIRST! The dichotomy between the two male leads - SO WELL DONE!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 It was quite simple really - they kind of set it up like a one-variable experiment? They both treat Myeong Hee similarly, but how they see her is what makes the first lead "better" than the second lead. They both like her; they both buy her gifts; they both try to know and cater to her likes/dislikes; they're both kind and dependable.

However, what sets Hee Tae apart from Soo Chan is that Hee Tae sees Myeong Hee as a "dynamic" being with feelings and decisions to make - and even if it hurts him, he respects what she wants. That's not to say Soo Chan isn't respectful and is an "asshole" - he is very polite and considerate. However, he never really asks her how she feels or what's on her mind. He merely sees her as his little sister's "poor" but kind and cute friend. She's bold and seemingly strong like a "wild flower" - someone who endures life and puts up with it all without complaint.

Where Soo Chan falls is that he fails to recognize that Myeong Hee isn't perfect and comes with a baggage that money and lavished living won't fix. As boldly as she is and as "complacent" as she seems, it's not truly how she wants to live but because of her social status and the wrong blame that was placed on her in the past, she feels like she has to keep quiet.

On the other hand, it's clear that Hee Tae knows this girl got hurt somewhere along the way even if she won't quite tell him. She wants to do things that she's told not do, but she holds back for the sake of her friends and family. It's why he pushes her to admit how she feels and what she wants. For once, he's that someone that will listen to her and wants to push her to pursue what she wants.

Episode 4 only scraped the surface of Myeong Hee's dark past, but I think it's foreshadowing the very real and unfortunate distinction between rich and poor in terms of injustice. The other kids were well-off, so they got away with protest/"propaganda" scut-free. Unfortunately, Myeong Hee ended up being the scapegoat and shouldered the burdened of all their consequences, which is her life went downhill in high school. She was an easy scapegoat: a poor girl with nothing to her name - what did she have to lose? (a lot - shocker.)

Perhaps this is just a personal thing, but I don't quite understand why Myeong Hee sticks around Soo Ryun if Soo Ryun was part of that crowd hat threw her under the bus. As the story goes on, I just feel myself disliking her character more and more . . . Ofc, she never does anything inherently wrong, but she continues to abuse her privilege and status to strike/revolt without facing the consequences like her less well-off peers. It feels like a kid playing king without knowing the burden of carrying the weight of the crown, ya know? Yet, you can't get upset with her either because it's partially her dad pulling her out of trouble and you know she has good intentions . . .

As cheesy as some scenes are in this kdrama, I can't deny the complexity of the characters is really well-done (for now - hopefully future episodes don't fuck this up LOL) and that's what keeps me hooked. None of them are perfect nor is one decision "right" relative to another.

The inner conflict as an viewer in wanting everyone to be good, but also knowing they are very human, flawed and emotionally impulsive, and knowing well this is all about to be fucked real soon is weirdly satisfying.

Edit: I forgot to mention to - the storyline between their younger brothers is also really interesting. You can just see how at a very young age, each of them start to see social status in their lives and each othee, and how that affects how people treat them, what they can/can't have, etc. To be excited about your dad buy to counterfeit Nike shoes at the flee market, but to only be told they're "cheap" and not worth the same when the look the same - my fucking heart ached for Myeong Soo 😭 I'm rooting for them to be friends LoL, but the balance is sensitive and can go very wrong if tipped the wrong way.

Anyways, I'm done now 🥲

#twogyuu:strugglin'#youth of may #im about 2 years late on this one but oh well lol #this drama got everything my angsty heart is looking for

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magdasabs · 2 years

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Hiii! As you have been to several chelsea games this season I figured you’re the right person to ask:)) I was wondering if you could tell a bit about players coming to the stands to see the fans. I’m a big Jflem fan and I am planning to travel to the uk next season to watch a game irl but Jessie doesn’t seem to be very outgoing and I haven’t seen many pictures of fans with her so do you think it’s still a good idea to go? Or will I just waste my money bc she’s the type of player to quickly go back to the dressing room? Don’t get me wrong, I still like the other players but my goal would still be to meet Jessie in first place

Hi! So my advice to you would be to pick an away game that's especially inconvenient for travelling fans - like the Everton one I went to. Everton is also just really convenient to get to as a ground if you're staying in either Liverpool or Manchester and the layout of the stadium is absolutely perfect for talking to players (I haven't been to that many grounds but this is by far the best one I've been to on that front)

So when I went not only did I have multiple chances to stop players but there were also maybe 20 or so Chelsea fans - so some of the Chelsea staff saw me standing around and actually asked if I wanted my shirt signed aka they're even willing to help. And if all of that doesn't work, it's super easy to ask them on the way to the bus - I got Jessie's autograph and other people got pictures, all the girls are super nice and, again, the layout makes it impossible for the bus to stop right in front of the exact so they have to walk a bit and you can easily stop them there. I think it's very doable to meet her :) not as much at home games though like today there were hundreds of people wanting autographs and pictures and not all players go around (also this might just be me but I feel bad holding them up when I know they have their cars there and can just go home)

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princessdreamie · 6 months

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DBH part 16

Back at the Ferguson mansion

E was sitting on the sofa with a scowl on his face. His sour mood was thanks to his oldest that didnt mentioned anything about him not being in school. C didnt even bother telling him that his school was closed down for the maintenance. He only found out about it bc he drove past it to get to a meeting.

Mt wasnt aware of it either, still the poor assistant had to fall victim to his anger. E was about to call his son on his phone but S was suggesting him to wait for him to come back. E already told S about their rebellious son and how he changed 'for the worst'. S just laughed at the CEO and claimes that E is making an mountain out of a molehill.

Se was up in his room as he finally finished his last assignment. Right in time for the show to start. Or so he thought. To his disappointment, the Ultraman show got a revival and now takes the majority of the channel for this day. Se knew about this franchise, but never got into it. In his words: „i found it way too lame the first time i watched it. Why would i bother watching an outdated cartoon like that?”

He is not the only one who got mad at this. As it turned out the owner of that particular channel got paid a lot of money from the Ultraman producers but they were not expecting to get that much backslash in such short time. The ratings dropped not long after the opening and some kids complained in their social medias.

Se got a call from one of his new friends and both started to rant on why they would do such a big mistake. In recent years there was barely any demand on Ultraman or the show in general. But now the whole day they played new episodes of its revival.

The little boy tried to give it an other chance by watching the first half of the episode but it still was garbage to him and his friends. Eventually Se turned off the TV and searched for the newest episode of his cartoon.

|Decided to give this show a name since i cant always describe it as a fantasy adventure show. It gets too long over time. I will call it 'The lost Grave Gem' from now on. It isnt really short either but for practicalities sake i go with Grave Gem|

Switching to Na's placesNa noticed that Grave Gem wasn't airing for a whole day and even for her the first half of the episode was nothing more but a headache. So she just went back into her room and continued her investigations. The date of Yv's death and place where she was buried were easy to find. But not much was given otherwise.

She was thinking of asking her parents if she could visit her grave but decided against it. Her mom was looking at some old photos last week and didnt want to pry to her or her dad about it and just decided on taking the bus.

The girl slipped through the hallways to avoid running into their house workers. She didnt want them to rat her out to her parents like they like to do.

After some close calls she finally left the house. Next stop on her list, taking the bus and look for clues at the graveyard. She was sure that someone would take care of Yv's grave.

#altenative #better ending #alternative ending #billionaire heiress #chance #divorced billionaire heiress #dbh #eric #eric ferguson #nicole stanton

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jinnies-lamps · 1 year

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I really had a breakdown today, my other boss told me to go quickly to court and do something super important and I literally ran there…. Only not to do it bc it WAS A THING ONLY the boss himself could do but i waited there for 2 hours bc they tell me wait im trying to call someone and then i went back to office only to hear “ your writing sucked, u didn’t pay attention to case at all” ONLY FOR HER TO LITERALLY COPY PASTE WHAT SHE WRITE BEFORE ?? Like u didn’t do shit I READ EVERYTHING I PAY ATTENTION TO DETAILS. For another case she told me i didn’t pay attention to suspects’s words BUT THEY DIdnt even HAD IT IN CASE ?? How im supposed to know things out of case?? Magically ? THEY DONT EVEN PAY ME, ALL MONEY I HAVE GO TO BUSS AND IT IS SUPER EXPENSIVE AND I DONT EVEN HAVE ENERGY TO DO ANYTHING OUTSIDE OF WORK. THEY DONT EVEN PAY FOR FOOD OR BUS OR ANYTHING!! I do everything, i wash dishes i bring coffee, greet people, call everyone, i write things…. I am so tired i have no energy to live.

#my thoughts #like i am so tired #I don’t even have energy to live

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khodorkovskaya · 1 year

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23.02.23

yesterday i had a dream about going on holiday with a guy. and the dream was weird overall, like we had to take cottage cheese with us and it was very important for some reason and the cheese was in this yellow plastic bag...?? but anyway, the main theme of the dream was that i was with this guy and we were going to the mountains just like we'd gone with B before. and i woke up feeling so overwhelmingly guilty. as if i had cheated on B even though it's been like what 5 months since we broke up.

and today i had a dream with B in it. we were driving to some house party in the countryside and he suggested we do coke together lol. and then he crashed the car on purpose saying that he needs money from his insurance or something. and i was like you can't live like this, this is so wrong! and we started arguing about values and stuff and he was so disagreeable and yeah i woke up feeling sad.

and i told my stepdad about this bc i dream about B every night and it's becoming annoying. and he said that sure, even if we can't control our dreams, it's still my fault that i dream about him. yes, i don't think think about him, but my unconscious still does. and it's up to me to decide if i want to move on or not. and it's quite painful to realise all of this because, yes, deep down i still have hope for us. the more i think about him and our relationship, the more i realise how doomed we really were and how it was never meant to be. but in my heart im still so scared to let go. because what's gonna happen in the future? what am i moving towards? if i cling on to B, i can make up all those comforting scenarios in my head. but if i 100% admit to myself that it's over, what's waiting for me out there? the unknown scares me. and i think that's why i can't fully allow myself to move on, even if rationally im definitely over him.

it's funny cos the other day i talked to my cousin on skype and she found an old hard drive with videos of us when we were kids. and it was cringy and hilarious and i keep randomly laughing throughout the day bc i think about those videos and it's just so funny. and im like 13 in these videos i think. so it made me think about middle school and how i was feeling at the time.

and i remembered that during that period like from 6th to 8th grade i was obsessed with haibane renmei. i used to be on this kids' social media website since the age of 9 (and ofc i also had a public diary there lol, some things never change) and i had an online friend there who was really into anime. so i decided to watch her favourite one, haibane renmei. i watched it when i was 11 and fell in love and i remember drawing those characters all the time, listening to the soundtrack on my ipod every day on the bus to school and learning how to play the songs on the piano. i even danced to the opening theme at the school talent show (and i think the video of it is still up on youtube, it's so bad oh my god). but yeah, what i mostly remember from that show is that there were these cute angel-like girls who all lived together and went thrift shopping. i don't remember anything about the story but only how much i loved drawing girls with angel wings and halos and listening to the soundtrack.

so i decided to rewatch it! i had a short lived anime phase in middle school, mainly consisting of rewatching haibane renmei and other shows by the same creator (serial experiments lain and nie under 7). and then i watched onepiece when i was 15 and that was it. so yeah, i decided to rewatch haibane renmei and oh my god... first of all, the art style and the music and everything made me sooo nostalgic because it made up a huge chunk of my teenage years. but also the story is so much deeper than my 11 year old understanding of it as just a story about girls living together. im on episode 8 now and i can't comprehend how i even watched this stuff as a child.

but back to my dreams about B, the theme of sin in haibane renmei really resonates with me as im rewatching it. the main character also struggles to let go and needs to make peace with her past (that she can't even remember) to move forward. and even though she's in this new world and has no memories of her past, she can't be free from her past sins. and, as the show outright tells us, "to recognise one's sin is to be free of sin".

and idk maybe im projecting too much but this really parallels my relationship with B. because, even though i was present during the relationship, i feel like i can't understand any of it. why were we together in the first place? what made me stay? why did i leave? i remember the general vibe of it all, but i can't piece together much of it. and yet i need to make peace with it to be able to move on. but how do i make peace with something i can't fully understand? and with the haibane it's the same thing. they can't remember their past and yet they can't forget it. and they need to make peace with the thing they can't remember to be free. i.e. recognise their sin to be free of sin.

anyway, im curious to see how the show is gonna end and what the overall moral is gonna be.

and in the meantime, i have applied for two master's programs. ughh it was such a pain in the ass.

idk what annoys me the most about this B situation is that it really isn't that deep. it was just a bad relationship and that's it. and if im feeling lonely now it's bc im horny. like there's no deeper explanation to it, i don't think. and since im so scared to let go, i keep going in circles and analysing everything. and i should just tell myself "stop that" and be more disciplined and not go on and on about this shit. it's not that deep! but i don't have the guts to tell myself to stop hoping.

#february

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cherry-pink-writings · 2 years

Text

Tokyo Revengers characters as dumb things I've done (and will probably continue to do)

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Author’s note: I’m sure some of this might be OOC, but whatever 💀

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Senju: went to the park with a friend but we only had one bike, so I sat on the handles while she rode it

Mikey: lost my shoes in the water at the beach and then walked back to the beach house we were staying at barefoot like nothing happened

Hina: broke my nails while riding a motorcycle because of how nervous I was

Emma: almost passed out and then was seen in that state by a guy I liked over the summer (the almost passing out wasn’t because of the guy btw)

Emma (again): I went to the place that guy worked at multiple times a week just to see him

Takemichi: dropped a child

Chifuyu: stole soap because it smelled like strawberries

Baji: tried to poison my mom's students (she tutored them) with soap because I wanted their cat and I figured if the kids died the parents would give it to me

Inui: almost drowned in the shallow part of a pool

Nahoya (Smiley): burned my tongue very badly for 3 weeks because I thought my drink was made a little less hot than usual and decided to take a huge sip rather than testing it first

Souya (Angry): studied for an exam the morning of and managed to get an A

Chifuyu: stared at myself in the mirror for nearly an hour straight

Draken: went outside in winter with no gloves or hat (and only a very light jacket on) to buy a cold drink and kind of burned my hands from the cold somehow for a couple of days

Mikey: tried to sharpen my finger with a sharpener

Baji: removed the ink tube from a Crayola marker and tried to eat it

Mitsuya: had my spot on a ship we went on for a field trip taken by a classmate and thought about throwing her overboard (obviously I didn’t do anything and forever held a grudge against her for it)

Koko: fell asleep multiple times with makeup on with a white blanket and somehow didn't stain anything

Hakkai: spent 6 hours manually transferring all my music to a new phone instead of trying to find a quicker way to do it

Kazutora: stabbed my finger with a (lead) pencil years ago and I still have a mark from it

Mitsuya: helped with giving people hot chocolate for school just so I could steal marshmallows (they had enough so I knew no one would notice)

Ran: went to see my dad in hopes that he'd give me money

Izana: almost stole some of my niece's toys because I was jealous I didn't have as many as her

Yuzuha: read a smutty fic at school while walking outside with a friend (the brightness wasn't even turned down)

Koko: had a crush on someone from summer camp but she had a gf so I started liking a fictional character more bc they look alike

Kazutora: went to my dad's to cut my hair because my mom wouldn't let me

Mikey: got braces and went out of my way to defy every instruction my dentist gave me about what not to eat (apples, popcorn, gum, etc)

Takemichi: found out what porn is at the age of like 7 (maybe 10 at most) through cartoons

Baji: was left without parental supervision for 3 days, had a mini meltdown about my life and how much I hated myself, decided to stop hating myself just like that

Nahoya: went into the woods by my old school even though there were rumours of someone living in them and then scarred my leg for years with a thorny branch while running around

Yuzuha: some girl poured a bucket of sand on my head, so I shoved her down one of those staticky slides face first

Chifuyu: threw myself down the stairs on a daily basis

Yamagishi (I know nothing about him he just gives me the vibe): spent real money on a game because I liked the character's 🍑 and legs

Kakucho: ate (drank?) liquid soap

Takemichi: bought a cactus and constantly forget to water it despite how low maintenance they are

Izana: almost fell into a pond after failing to turn a bike

Hanma: got on the wrong school bus and didn't notice that I didn't know any of the people on it

Takemichi: ripped my pants climbing a school fence

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total-lost-boys-simp · 2 years

Text

SCREAM QUEEN Book 1: Conventional Final Girl

Okay so basically let’s just cut to the chase, the main character “(y/n)” is Sidney Prescott’s little step sister, yeah? Well what happens when she takes Sid’s place as the final girl? A whole lot.

Disclaimer: this follows the movie very closely with little change other than the reader insert portions, so like I’m not trying to be like “Oh yeah this is all me” bc it’s not (RIP Wes Craven 😔🙏🏻🕊⚰️)

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Chapter 3

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Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

Once we got off the bus a few people said bye to Sid and I. "Can you check the mail?" Sid asked, I can see why she wouldn't want to. "Mhm," I said as she walked ahead. It was as empty as Michael Myers' soul. I instantly zipped upstairs and to the bathroom, "Calling dibs on the shower!" Nothing followed, wow not even a small 'Whatever!'.

Once I was out I pulled my hair up into the towel and wrapped another one around me before heading to my room. Maybe I was just a bit too paranoid after today but I thought I heard something coming from the living room. "Hello?" I asked, no answer. "God if this were a horror movie I would be so dead..." I trailed my words just like I trailed the weird noise, quickly snatching up a vase from the hallway. I crept down the stairs and to the living room when I heard a crash. I jumped out ready to hit the culprit! Only to find Sidney picking up the phone. "What the hell are you doing?!" She exclaimed, obviously shocked to see her usually collected sister wielding a vase above her head. "I thought you were the killer!" I shouted, trying to keep the laughter of this humiliating moment at bay. Both Sid and I busted out laughing before she said, "I'm going to call Tatum now, why don't you go get dressed and make some snacks?" Of course I was going to do what she said, she was doing me a favor for many things.

In the kitchen I still felt a little uneasy, like someone was just lurking around the corner ready to stab me from behind. "I've been watching too many horror movies..." Then I stopped to think for a minute. "Well actually the last movie I watched was Psycho with Stu and Billy when they invited Sid and I." I know I'm just talking to myself as I make peanut butter sandwiches but who doesn't? "Ya' know honestly if I could've I probably would've kissed Stu, right in the scene where Norman is cleaning the hotel room but he's completely oblivious to the newspaper carrying all the money. Much like Stu is completely oblivious on how to go about things correctly..."

My little monologue must've sucked me in a little too much considering I didn't hear Sid laughing on the couch. "Oh my god, don't do that! You scared me!" I shouted in total shock just holding up the kitchen knife, bread crust crumbs still covering the blade. "Are you all packed for tonight?" She asked me as she put her things together. "Uh good question," I said as I put down the plate of PB&J's on the coffee table. Sidney turned on the tv and started skimming through the channels as I ran up the stairs. Every channel she landed on was talking about the murders.

Coming back down the stairs I ran to the living room where Sid placed her things, not even noticing her in the other room until I went down the hallway. "Hey Sid-" Oh, she's asleep, seems like she just fell asleep too. I quickly grabbed a blanket for her and laid it over her as she snored a little. I take this time to go to the living room and catch up on some sleep of my own. The past few nights have just been feeling weird and off so I've been staying up late.

When a loud ringing from the other room blairs through the house I jolted up, ready for action! That was until Sid picked up the phone.

"Hello?" She groggily asked.

"Who is it?" I whispered as I peaked out from the wall.

Completely ignoring me, Sid takes hold of the small clock on the side table and says, "It's past seven."

"Ugh oh that's comforting," She said to the person on the other line. At this point I'm pretty sure it's Tatum.

I sit down on the couch swinging Sid's legs onto my lap.

"Whatever, just hurry, okay?" Sid said, stifling a laugh before hitting the end call button and placing the phone back on it's base.

I looked over to her and asked, "So what was that about?"

"Hmm? Oh i-" Before she could even get a real word out the phone rang again.

When Sid picks up the phone she immediately says, "Tatum just get in the car-"

Now that I'm closer to her I can hear the other line and that definitely doesn't sound like Tatum.

"Hello Sindey," A familiar oddly pitched raspy voice called to her. This made me roll my eyes, the boys again.

"Uh hi, who is this?" She asked, moving her legs and sitting upright.

"You tell me," He says in a nonchalant tone.

"Well I have no idea?" Sid said, her voice starting to quake a little. I'm tempted to just take the phone from her and yell at the person on the other end.

"Scary night isn't it? With the murders and all it's like right out of a horror movie," His words slither out, creepy and cold like ice.

Sidney's expression lightened as she said, "Randy you gave yourself away, are you calling from work cause Tatum's on her way over."

Walking around her I go turn on the lamp when I hear, "Do you even like scary movies, Sidney?" That's the worst question to ask Sid of all people.

"I like that thing you're doing with your voice Randy, it's sexy." Sid says, her own voice going a little deeper.

Now this made me laugh a little, "Randy and the word sexy in the same sentence, now that's weird," I said just above a whisper.

"What's your favorite scary movie?" He asked, this made me roll my eyes since he asked me the same question last night.

"Oh come on Randy, you know I don't watch that shit." She said, fidgeting around in her stance now.

I myself felt offended and shot her a look, this made her throw up her one free hand.

"Oh why not, too scared?" 'Randy' asked.

"No no, it's just- what's the point, they're all the same," She said as she threw her arm outward, "Just some stupid killer stalking some big breasted girl who can't act. Whose running up the stairs when she should be running out the front door, it's insulting."

They're not all like that, I think to myself

"Are you alone in the house?" 'Randy's' question made me stand up straight and look over at Sid.

"Randy that's so unoriginal, I'm disappointed in you," She said looking over at me as she faced the window at the back of the couch.

"Maybe that's because I'm not Randy." He said, I could feel my heart beat pick up... this is getting a little too close for comfort.

Sid gets up from the couch placing her hand on her hip and asks, "So who are you?"

"The question isn't who am I, the question is where am I?" The caller said, okay now this isn't good.

Snatching the phone out of Sid's hands I aggressively asked, "So where are you?"

"Your front porch," The caller said as if he were still talking to the same person.

Staying in the same spot but keeping an eye on Sidney who was no doubt going to the porch I asked, "Why would you be calling from our front porch?"

"That's the original part," he says.

"Oh yeah? Nice fucking try." I said as Sidney opened the door, "Calling your bluff."

"So where are you?" I asked, feeling the wind from the cold night already telling me Sid was outside.

"Right here." The caller said, startled, I spin around only to be met with empty space.

Walking to the porch myself I asked the caller, "Can you see Sidney right now?"

"Uh-huh," he says in confirmation.

"What is she doing then? Hmm? Tell me," I said. If it weren't such a serious situation I would've gotten the camera at the sight of Sidney picking her nose.

"HELLOOO" My big sister called out.

"Nice try Randy, tell Tatum to hurry up. Bye now" I chimed to the other line with a giggle escaping my throat. Sid linked arms with me.

"If you hang up on me you'll die, just like Sidney's mother!" The caller shouts, loud enough for Sidney to hear right next to me.

We both freeze in our tracks equally scared and appalled by the words that just left his mouth.

"Do you want to die, (y/n) , her mother sure didn't?" They asked me. Sid's grip on my arm tightened.

"Fuck you, you creep!" I ragefully whispered into the phone. I rushed both Sidney and I into the house before locking the door. That wasn't enough though since the supposed caller jumped out of our closet. Sid and I ducked but not before he landed a blow on her. Not on my sister you don't! I hit him on the back of the head but this caused him to turn around and shove me back, making me hit my head and everything started getting dizzy. The killer was on top of Sidney before she kicked him off. As fast as she could she grabbed me as I was trying to open the door, not realising it was latched.

Running up the stairs with the killer on our tail Sid flung me into her room first before she did the same to herself and closed her door. The great thing about Sidney's room is that her bedroom door and closet door were right next to each other so if the closet door was open the bedroom door couldn't. The killer did his best by swinging his arm trying to attack Sidney and I. Doing the smartest thing I could right now I picked up the phone and dialed 911 while Sid failed at shutting her window. To no avail though, the phone line was dead. Sid pushed me aside and went to her computer inputting the numbers 9-1-1. Then it stopped, the killer was gone.

A loud thud at Sidney's window sill startled us before we realized who it was. "Billy!" Sid exclaimed, relieved to see her boyfriend. I just stood there with my guard still up..

"The door was locked, I heard screaming, You alright?" He asked Sid as he looked over at me.

"The killer's here, he's in the house." She said as she hugged Billy tight, sobs just releasing from her mouth left and right.

"He's gone, he's gone." Billy cooed into her ear as she hugged him. The expression on his face gave me goosebumps.

All was fine until Billy dropped something... a small black compact cell phone. Oh shit.

In a mad frenzy I rush towards Sidney tearing her away from Billy's grasp and run out of the room with her hand in mine.

"Wait, Sid, no! Wait wait wait! (Y/n)!" We heard Billy shout as we reached the front door.

Sydney opens the front door in a hurried panic and we're met with that same white ghostly mask again! We both shriek out in pure terror! And so does... Dewey. Nevermind the day is saved...

It felt so surreal to be sitting here on the tail of the ambulance with Sid while Billy is getting forced into the back of a cop car. They just got done checking me and Sid for any bruises or contusions. Billy wailed for Sidney much like the car sirens wailed to alert danger. Walking up to us the sheriff said, "Well, we're seeing a lot of you today." Then Dewey spoke up asking, "You girls going to be able to come down to the station and answer a few questions?"

"Oh shit, Sydney, (y/n)!" Tatum's voice made me pop my head up. Happy to see a face we can comfortably trust.

"God I'm so sorry I showed up late," Tatum continued, holding Sid's hands and cupping my face.

"Tatum you can't be here it's an official crime scene." Dewey said as he grabbed hold of his sister to escort her away.

"No!" I shouted, everyone looked in my direction before Sid said, "It's okay."

"Their parents are out of town, alright? They're staying with us tonight." Tatum said as she scoffed at her older brother.

"Does mom know?" Dewey asked, for what reason? I'm not sure.

"Yes dufus," Tatum said, pretty sure she just wanted to get us out of there at this point.

I could see the Sheriff holding the costume the killer wore as Sid and I got into the back of the car. This has officially become the most terrifying night of my life. I grabbed onto Sidney's arm for comfort as she petted my hair on the way to the station. As we were about to pull away from our house a news van came rolling in. Out hopped none other than the devil herself, Gale Weathers. We could hear her call out for Sid as we drove away.

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