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#much like....Steph and anyone actually
astralejection · 8 months
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i think it's really funny that duke has zero beef with anyone in the batfam, like bro is straight chilling
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starlooove · 8 months
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Y’all think we don’t notice when you draw Tim and Steph side by side and give him a myriad of scars but basically make her Barbie…
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AOAOAOA Ep 121: For decades, the legendary daytime talk show "The View" has been home to iconic hosts from all sides of the political spectrum engaging in heated debate . But you may not have heard of "The Look", a similar show hosted by three opinionated women and one absolutely ancient one.
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don’t forget the reason for the season (would you kiss your clone? yes. and you’re mr. maccabee)
#he's the sexiest person in the room after all#GOD lmfao i'm so head in hands that there's no footage of Will Roland Mr. Maccabee. but there Are all these pictures so thank god for that#or also steph b/c she took a lot (or all re: this source) of them lol. godspeed#the reason for the season is also idk whatever wroles there've been in these things. many#obviously cyril von miserthorpe; the last christmas extravaganza antagonist. Merely Assumed ragamuffin role uhh i think it was something v#much like melvin cooterstein lol. uncle peenie. mr. chestnut. that folger's opening guy they keep saying they'll have to Tell The Story Of#and i don't know that anyone actually has yet lmfao. is that a sequence / bit not found in later iterations such as that there's a tale....#or was there something especially zany abt that particular one lol. i hardly know All The Lore abt All Sequences and things change / evolve#for example. are there always two mister maccabees and then they kiss???#god. imagine having to cope with that and you're that guy whose heterosexuality was so threatened by mr. maccabee's sexy number that he like#suddenly became extremely preoccupied with looking at Anything Else right up until the next step in the proceedings lol#and isn't there always? usually? a number with mary's sexy men backup dancers. f for that guy again#i would be looking directly at it and getting rowdy if the above image was unfolding before me#joe iconis christmas extravaganza#will roland#shoutout to his talking about mr. maccabee in that recent interview as well; connected to jimmy armstrong. a surprising reference lol#also shoutout to will roland's mother attending these events and in twenty nineteen (the year of cyril von miserthorpe) that was indirectly#the only way we knew will as winston would be in billions season 5 at all. your boy is coy#a delightful little moment when she cameos in the uncle peenie (will roland) and aunt loretta (danielle gimbal) performance lol =)#also naturally some further chaos in that i think often ppl would not necessarily play the same roles every night of an xmas xtrav streak...#just to add to the mystery and presumed wealth of [this person as whomever]s out there. argggh the magic of will roland mr maccabee....#don't cry b/c there's no audio motion visuals....smile b/c it happened and pictures were taken and posted findably....#also learned while offline like what tf. i would've thought i'd've saved the mr. chestnut video already lol. it escaped me...f for Me
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arcxnumvitae · 11 months
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Your Majesty, what has you so fixated on Sivel? Sure, he has a whole country but so do several others that have visited your Court. And yet none seem to have you so on edge more than him. Do you see him as a threat or are you just finding something else to worry about instead?
@thewolfisawake // mentioning @soulsxng || Ask my Muse about their relationships with other Muses!
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"What other royal is there that is both involved with one of my gentry and that I have a less than ideal relationship with?" He would not deny his own contributions towards the latter, but ever since Iomhar had first asked him to trick Sivel during the entire fiasco involving the whipping it felt as if things had been set on a constant, inevitable downward spiral between them.
"I do see him as a threat, though I wish that possibility could be dismissed entirely and this whole thing done with," Camhlaidh admitted. He did not want to feel as if he needed to keep looking over his shoulder regarding Sivel. Right now, the only assurances that he had regarding their tenuous relationship was that he was fairly certain the other king would make no moves against Seelie first, while he remained Iomhar's lover, and second, if there was no gain to him nor threat to his people.
It was a hand he had relied too heavily on, Iomhar's relationship with him especially, but what else was he to do?
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haven-sent · 2 years
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sometimes you've just gotta do something new
an independent steph gingrich from life is strange. also adapted for the stranger things universe. penned by rhona.
promo credit.
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dykesbat · 2 years
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when we talk abt how fanon steph/cass is used as the token wlw couple where they’re both two-dimensional and how this is misogynistic and misses the actual potential of steph/cass
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cluescorner · 2 months
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Nothing sadder than seeing a Reverse Robins AU where they don't include Steph as a Robin even though she'd be a far better Red Hood than Tim. It's not even fucking close. Like...are you kidding me?? Tim has no reason to die in the way Jason does nor does he have any reason to become the protector of the less-great areas of Gotham. I don't mind it as much when Tim kinda becomes his own thing (that's the appeal of those AUs for me, taking the character and having them fulfill a role they don't in canon + seeing the ripple effects on both that character and others and the story (literally the whole reason I'm doing the randomized robins) + seeing how you can still tell a story that wasn't meant to exist in the way you've made it) but when he's just straight up Red Hood-but-now-Tim...why?
Now STEPHANIE BROWN ON THE OTHER HAND! She's got all the makings of a good Red Hood. She's had the will to kill from the beginning (she was straight up gonna kill her dad, even when she didn't she still beat the shit out of him and talks pretty frequently about getting rid of the bad guys 'for good'), she's been doubted her entire existence as a vigilante, she has like SO MANY FUCKING REASONS TO HATE BRUCE IT ISN'T EVEN FUNNY, she has lived the experience of someone (her dad) getting released back into Gotham via Arkham/Blackgate's revolving door, and she's also got the fucking FIRE for it. Steph even has a built-in death that's both thematically relevant for a Red Hood and would drive Bruce to so much fucking guilt. Plus, it's more accurate! And Tim staying as the third sidekick becomes even more fucking interesting. His girlfriend, someone he loved, just died in this role because of Bruce's negligence/her own bungling. How tf does he feel about the role of a Batman sidekick now? Batman needs a Robin, but what does Robin need from Batman? And Steph coming back to see BRUCE just put TIM in the role that she literally died in? Oh she's coming back full storm.
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begaycommittreason · 1 month
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out of context things heard in wayne manor:
bruce: i understand, but pretending you cooked jerry the turkey is not a proportionate response to damian calling you a peasant again
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jason: look there’s a right way and a wrong way to make food. there’s also the bruce way, which is the wrong way except faster and worse
duke: *frantically scribbling notes*
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tim: do you think our relationship was kinda like incest now?
steph, horrified: never open your mouth in my presence again timothy
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dick: so then he’s like—guys. guys are you seriously signing about me in front of my face. i learned it too—hey i do NOT have a butt chin take that back—
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damian: i don’t understand, why does he wear such a ridiculous hat? is it like that margaret poppins woman grayson showed me?
tim, who watched the live action cat in the hat too much as a kid and is about to violently infodump: well you see-
dick: oh god it’s too late
jason: yeah the brats on his own for this one i’m not fucking dealing with that again
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bruce: are you lying?
tim: always. anyway, like i was saying—
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steph: hey what’s up with you and all the redheads
dick: …i’m not discussing this with you
steph, starting to chase him: gingervitus is a serious affliction! you cant run from this
dick, sprinting away: yes the fuck i can
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duke: so is anyone gonna talk about the elephant in the room…
dick:
dick: look i was feeling sentimental and zitka jr. really isn’t any trouble
damian: she is magnificent
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tim: so i dropped out and
duke: wait we can drop out of high school??!!?
bruce: NO.
duke: please bruce ap biology is beating my ass right now
jason: nah tim just got to drop cause bruce was dead and he’s a loser. the real problem is what you’re reading in ap lit right now, because i have thoughts on that curriculum—
duke: i’m not even gonna use half that material in the real world
tim: actually most of our villains have PhDs so their plans are based on pretty real science
duke: not helping timothy
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cass, signing: why are brothers on the ceiling?
jason: tims in timeout from working on his caseload
cass, still confused: yes but why taped to the ceiling
duke: listen if you know a better way of restraining his psycho ass then i’m all ears
cass: and damian?
jason: oh he saw this as free range target practice so he had to go up there too
cass: they are plotting revenge up there
duke: think of it as brotherly bonding
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damian: it’s not my fault he got in the way
bruce: you threw an eclair at lex luthor
damian: i was aiming for drake
tim: bruce we can’t take him anywhere
dick, holding back laughter: timmy you paid four separate people to come to the gala solely to ask lex if they could use his head to see if they had something in their teeth
tim: you have no proof that was me
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duke: look steph, it’s not that we don’t want to help with this
jason: i don’t want to help
duke: it’s more that i don’t think we can physically fit that many people in a shopping cart, and your whole plan kind of hinges on that
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alfred: i’m not mad, just disappointed in you.
every batkid, near tears: sorry alfred
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jason: HE HAD DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY AS THE FUCKING WHAT—
bruce: listen—
tim, mouth full and brain empty: the ambassador to iran. crazy right?
dick: tim please
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ew-selfish-art · 7 months
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DpxDc AU: Tim as a child was never given a lot of information regarding the scribbling messy handwriting that appeared over night all over his arms- naturally he came to his own conclusions.
Tim Drake was home entirely alone at 9 years old and was about to go out for the night to test his brand new long exposure camera lens when he sees the writing on his arm. It’s not English, like he assumed it was at first, but it was using the alphabet to represent… Tim isn’t bad at math but this formula is complex for his little genius brain.
Looking at his camera, he decides he can spare a moment to look it up, solve it, and get back out into old town Gotham in time for Batman and Robin’s final patrol lap. He does just that, finding the problem to relate to some aerospace engineering and then quickly deduces what laws and theorems need to be applied. He finds a pen, writes down his findings in much neater handwriting onto his arm, and goes out. It’s barely a remarkable night at all. He gets a much more memorable photo of Robin roundhouse kicking a hench person.
Things just continued on that way. Tim would find some complex math, physics or chemistry prompt on his arm (surrounded by various question marks or notes or sad faces)- he’d answer it as best he could and move on with his life. Perhaps his parents were manifesting these pop quizzes? Perhaps his subconscious felt guilty about abandoning his studies for more Bat related pursuits? Tim really didn’t care to think much about it once he became Robin- there was too much on his plate and too many peoples problems for him to fix.
Notably, however, after the attack at the Tower, the pop quiz appeared and Tim wrote back that he wouldn’t be able to find an answer to this one. It was the only time Tim questioned the markings appearance and it was because the next thing that appeared was “Hope you feel better soon.”
… his parents wouldn’t include that on a pop quiz. Cursed then. Tim decided it must be a curse, whatever, he’d deal with the implications later in life.
Tim then has the worst year of his life, hes 15, no longer Robin and the questions from his curse are getting less math oriented and more… philosophical. A lot of mentions of death that, in hindsight helped him actually grieve, and a lot of theories about dark matter and souls. Tim answers back as best he can but he’s drained and his answers aren’t very good in his opinion. He gets minimal feedback.
It all comes to a point that he’s at a family dinner, Bruce is at the head of the table, Jason has promised just to stay for dessert, Damian hasn’t thrown a single insult his way and Steph was laughing at him- when a new theoretical model appears on his arm.
“You’re just as bad as Bruce, Timberly. Hiding a soulmate from all of us, how fucking typical.” Jason points out, while watching Tim scribble back some math with a question mark onto his arm.
“A what? No, this is just a curse. I get pop quizzes every now and then.” Tim bats away Steph who rapidly approaches and began to analyze his arm (the rest of the family isn’t far behind).
“Drake. Explain how you came to this conclusion.” Damian seems more curious than anything, if his lack of insults was anything to go off of.
“Since I was young I’ve had at least weekly math check ins, I never had a parent or anyone else around so I assumed my parents had me cursed to ensure I stayed on top of my studies. Sometimes it’s physics or chemistry, for a while there it was a ton of philosophy and behavioral psychology.” He shrugs his shoulders.
“Master Tim, I believe the lack of adults in your life has led you towards a false conclusion. That is most certainly a soulmate mark. The individual to whom you are responding is undoubtedly your other half.” Alfred attempts to calm the room before explaining to Tim. Tim isnt sure if he believes the butler, though Alfred only very rarely lied, so he grabs the pen once more. He writes his first question back: “Who am I to you?”
The room waits in anticipation and within moments a brand new line appears on Tim’s arm and he is vindicated: “We do math together???”
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The reason Danny is failing English is because his built in homework helper sucks ass at metaphors and has apparently never read any classic literature. The tutor on his arm is great at puzzles and math tho.
Danny gets a reply back one night that he wasn’t expecting (Who am I to you?) and he mentions it to Jazz. Who goes insane that Danny didn’t even question it and just went with “meh, probably haunted” as his explanation for the phenomenon for all these years.
Apparently, if Jazz was right, he had a soulmate who was uh, super fucking smart. That was an overwhelming thought.
The next day Danny is in crisis mode and writes back “Wait, WHAT AM I TO YOU??? Can I help on your homework??”
Danny gets vindicated when the writing on his arm presents a shit ton of dates and information for an unsolved Gotham cold case. See, Haunted.
———
Eventually between Danny becoming the top candidate for astrophysics at Wayne Enterprises and Tim Drake being outed as having contributed tips to the GCPD that solved cold cases- they meet and realize just how dumb they’ve been.
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too-much-tma-stuff · 2 months
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Finally getting help (pt 2)
This one actually is edited thanks to @basementqueercock! Thank you friend!
part 1 | Masterpost
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Vlad had been making a stink at the Gala about the Wayne brats taking his godson from him without his permission when the music suddenly cut out. Bruce Wayne himself stalked towards Vlad with an expression that was honestly a little intimidating, even if Vlad obviously wasn’t scared of such an empty headed pretty boy even if he was one of the richest and most influential people on the planet. He was Plasmius! He could take a rich pretty boy is he had to!
“Ah! Mr. Wayne, thank goodness! Your children have taken my Godson off somewhere! I’m sure it’s just a harmless prank but he’s a bit fragile and unpredictable so I really think that it would be best if-“
“Is he fragile and unpredictable because he’s pregnant and you knew?” Bruce asked low and dangerous. Silence spread out around them, even though there’s no way they could have heard they saw the look on Brucie’s face. He rarely got angry but when he did it was serious, when he did it usually meant someone had hurt a kid.
Vlad blanched for a moment, Danny had been so tight lipped about it, so unwilling to tell even those he trusted how did These people know?! “What? What on earth are you talking about? Of course he’s not pregnant, I mean he’s a boy!” Vlad huffed and Bruce’s jaw tightened even more somehow.
“He’s not leaving with you. Get out.” He said low and menacing, then raised his voice. “Sorry to cut the party short everyone but something has come up, a situation that really needs my attention so I’m going to have to put an end to the party early.”
“What do you mean!? He’s MY God son! MY heir! You can’t just keep him from me!” Vlad said, he knew that his eyes were starting to glow a little red but he couldn’t help it. “He’s MINE! Return him to me or you will regret it I swear!”
“See him out.” Bruce said dismissively to a handful of guards who had approached at the start of the commotion A lot of the socialites were already starting to see themselves out, now was not the time to argue, or even stick around when it looked like this might get physical.
“I will be back! I will be back with lawyers and police and the brat’s parents,” Vlad vowed but couldn’t risk fighting the guards any more than a usual old man would on the way out with so many eyes on him. Well he just needed to find a place alone. Then he could transform and come back, possess Bruce Wayne and make him do something heinous in public to ruin him for this.. this- this INDIGNITY!
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Bruce was having a hard time keeping his Batman expressions off his face as he saw that everyone was out of his house and he knew his children were having the same trouble. Dick looked like he was ready to bash someone’s head in and Steph wasn’t that much better. Damian was standing by the door, seeing everyone out with frosty politeness that no one would mistake as genuine. Bruce felt just a little bad, it wasn’t anyone’s fault what they had found tonight. No one else knew about the clearly abused teen they were currently harbouring, but none of the family could help it either. Bruce would send all the guests gift baskets once they could announce what was going on.
Alfred was on the phone with Bruce’s lawyers, sending them the mildly distorted audio from Danny’s earlier conversation with Cas and Dick, and the footage from Vlad Master’s outburst. That had the same sort of distortion over it too which was odd, he’d have to look into it. Cas had already informed him she thought Danny was a meta of some sort, maybe it was connected to that? Or maybe they were aliens? Though Danny being trans was currently the most plausible explanation for his pregnancy. They’d find out more later. What mattered was the footage of both of those would be enough for Bruce to get emergency custody while the family was investigated. 
Tim was with Danny in the room Alfred had fixed for him, helping him settle in and lending him some clothes. Tim was the closest to Danny’s age and also one of the calmer ones right now so he was in charge of trying to make Danny feel safe and comfortable while the family took up battle stations to deal with the legal and logistical elements of this.
Bruce made sure everyone was out, the perimeter was secure, and Oracle was at her computer watching the security feed for anything suspicious including the pattern of distortion Vlad and Danny seemed to emit. He wasn’t sure how paranoid he should be about all this, but he’d seen the way Vlad’s eyes sparked red when he was angry and Batman was sure he was a lot more dangerous then he first seemed. And not just in the way that he was apparently willing to impregnate a boy young enough to be his son.
Finally he couldn’t avoid going to check on Danny anymore. Not that he was Really avoiding it, just that he knew this was going to be an exhausting and difficult conversation and he needed to brace himself for it. With every step towards Danny’s new room he felt the weight gather on his shoulders of what this child must have been through.
He knocked, and let himself in. Immediately clocking the way Danny tensed at the sight of him. Of course a rich older man would set off his alarm bells. Bruce gave the softest smile he could and went to pull out the desk chair across from the bed Danny was sitting on, well out of arms reach so he wouldn’t seem like a threat as he sat down. He glanced at Tim who nodded and went and sat on the bed next to Danny. Solidarity, willing to stand up against Bruce if Danny needed it, safety.
“Hello Danny, it’s nice to meet you. My children told me a bit about.. your situation,” Bruce said with a small grimace. “Would you mind if I ask you some questions? I promise I won’t judge you whatever you say, and I promise I am on your side. No matter what I will try to keep you safe okay? Just tell me the truth, it’ll help me do what needs to be done.”
“Alright Mr. Wayne,” Danny said, though he was still wary.
“Thank you, please call me Bruce. So first, what’s your full name?” he asked deciding to start super easy.
“Daniel James Fenton,” Danny replied softly.
“Your parents names?”
“Doctors Madeline and Jack Fenton,” Huh the fact that he called his parents doctor like it was part of their name seemed to be significant though Bruce wasn’t sure exactly what it meant.
“How old are you?”
“I’m 16,” He said. A little older than he looked but still no where near old enough to have the weight of the world on his shoulders like he did.
“And you’re pregnant?” Bruce asked as gently as he could, Danny nodded. “And you’re sure?”
“Yes,” Danny said softly and Bruce nodded, licking his lips a little.
“Did you take a test then?” He asked and Danny grimaced making a so so motion.
“It’s not… that simple,” He said softly.
“Can you explain it to me please?” Bruce asked softly.
Danny took a deep breath and licked his lips, hesitating, opening his mouth to stat, hesitating again and biting his lip. Bruce stayed quiet as he watched the conflict on Danny’s face. “You work with the justice league right?” Danny asked suddenly which seemed like a bit of a non sequitur to Bruce but he needed. “A bunch of the members aren’t human right?” Ah, Bruce nodded again. “And you’re okay with that?”
“Of course I am Danny,” Bruce promised, soft and reassuring. “People don’t have to be human or from earth to be people. Whatever is going on with you you’re still a person, and a kid, and deserve to be protected.”
“Okay,” Danny said as he scrutinized Bruce’s body language for any sign that he was lying. “Okay. I’ve never been able to trust any adults with this shit but I can’t keep doing this on my own so okay. I’m not human, not fully anyway, not anymore. These are..” He touched his stomach. “Like if you did an ultrasound you wouldn’t see embryos more like… Hang on Here.”
Bruce blinked as Danny suddenly, reached Inside himself, and before he could panic Danny had pulled out a perfectly round object that filled his palm. It shimmered with light from within, cold and sparkling with stars. “Our kind is more energy and light then anything else. This is Us, the mind, heart, everything we are is stored in our core the rest is formed around that. I mean for most of my kind, I’m still half human.” Danny said before replacing the orb inside him. “I have two other little cores inside me right now, feeding on my energy to develop properly, you could see them on an Xray. I don’t know how long they’ll take honestly.” He sighed caressing his stomach again.
 “But I can feel them inside me, I can feel their worry when I’m scared, and their joy when I’m happy, and their love. They’re my babies.” He said with the softest most paternal smile on his lips. The bags under his eyes were awful, he was clearly exhausted and stressed, but his expression told Bruce Danny thought it was all going to be worth it for his children. It brought a lump to his throat he had to clear before he could speak again.
“Okay, do you have access to healthcare appropriate for your.. species?” He asked and Danny nodded. Though he was tight lipped still.
“There are protections for non-human species in America you know,” Tim said.
Bruce and Tim exchanged a confused look as Danny barked a laugh. “Not for MY kind, we were specifically excluded,” He said with a wry curl to his lips. “The shadow or echo left behind when a proper human dies, not sentient or sapient they say. Malicious and dangerous they say. To be captured or exterminated on sight. They would take me, experiment on me, probably put my babies in jars or something.”
Oh, oh fuck, he was shaking, eyes blank and glassy like he was heading towards a panic attack. “Danny! Danny look at me,” Bruce said as he leaned forward and Danny’s gaze flicked up to his face. “I don’t know who ‘they’ are but I promise I will do everything in my power to make sure they don’t get you. You’re clearly not what they say, and anyone who would hurt a child is not the good guy in this story.”
“Who are they?” Tim asked with an expression that promised swift and vicious retribution.
Danny took another deep breath. “The GIW, the Ghost Investigation Ward. They’re a government agency, they’ve been hunting in my hometown for a while. Early on we tried to call the Justice Legue, but I think they were jamming the lines or something,” Danny said looking down and biting his lip.
Fuck this poor kid really couldn’t catch a break! Bruce was sure that the ‘ghosts’ these idiots were hunting weren’t really anything of the sort, but he would look into this and see what he could find. Tim was clearly itching to as well bad he wasn’t willing to leave Danny alone with Bruce, good lad.
“And what about your parents? Do you think you could be safely returned to their home?” Bruce asked, as much as he wanted to keep Danny reunification was supposed to be the goal of fostering.
“No!” Danny nearly yelped sitting up straight. “No! They work for the GIW! They design most of their weapons. If they ever found I’d been contaminated- I don’t want to think the worst of them but even if they still recognized me as their son the babies-“ He cut off, wrapping both his arms around his stomach and curling in on himself.
“Okay, we’ll call child protective services, my lawyer, and the Justice League. We’ll get to the bottom of this,” Bruce promised Danny. “And you can stay here as long as you need to. Is there any other family you would want to go to?” Bruce asked, just to be sure, but he wasn’t surprised when Danny shook his head and grabbed a pillow to hug.
“And I know Oracle and Red Robin will be itching to find out more about this ‘government agency’,” Tim said. “I want to go tell them Danny, if Bruce and I go will you be okay on your own or do you want me to ask Cas to come stay with you?”
“Cas please? If she’s not busy?” Danny asked uncertainly and Tim nodded. Bruce was getting up before Danny spoke up again. “I have a sister, Jazz. She knows about me not being fully human, but not about the babies. She’s a good person, and she’s almost an adult. I don’t know, I just need you to know she’s good, and I don’t want to mess things up for her,” Danny said worriedly.
“Of course Danny, thanks for letting me know,” Bruce said with a smile already making plans to get her out as well. “We’ll let you know as soon as there are developments.” He promised before both he and Tim ducked out. They split up, Tim going to find Cas and ask her to go back to Danny before they reconvened in the bat cave, they had a lot of research to do.
next>
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bluerosefox · 23 days
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Drake Siblings
Have I read this prompt somewhere or was this a fever dream from my bored mind.
What if, now hear me out.
What if we bring up Dana Winters-Drake (whose confirmed to at least be alive in the DC verse but no one knows where she actually is)
What if instead of when she had a mental breakdown and getting committed to an Bludhaven clinc she wandered away before anyone noticed and by the time Tim or anyone did notice a lot of stuff started happening at once in both Gotham and Bludhaven (Steph dying, The Bludhaven crisis, etc etc)
Tim still tries to find her though but even with best resources it was like she just disappeared into the wilderness and the stress of trying to handle more and more problems get worse.
So when out of the blue, a couple of years later, he gets a call from an unknown number. On his private, only for friends and family, phone and when he answers he meet with a young girls voice on the other end.
A very young, maybe six or seven, girl who informs him about his apparently half-brother Danny Drake-Fenton. And how she loves Danny so, so, so much but knows her home is dangerous for him to be in.
Tim is stunned and before he could question her, she says Danny is Dana and Jack's baby and that her parents had adopted him years ago and put Dana's stuff that the hospital had away for him to look at when he was older but she just had to fight off their lunch from eating her brother and she knows he needs a better place to live and so she snooped around and found Dana's diary and that she had to unscramble the nonsense Dana wrote and found Tim's number with the words 'tell him about his brother Danny' hidden in it. And-
But before she could keep rambling she hears Danny screaming "JAZZY THE MILK WENT BAD AGAIN AND HISSED AT ME!"
Tim is left with silence after hearing Jazz yell to Danny to lock the fridge and step out of the kitchen as she gets the bat.
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terrywho-cartoons · 1 year
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Dick was a normal name in the 1950’s, but it’s 2022 now, so here’s how I immagine all of the batkids (+ some extras) reacting to Dick introducing himself.
BABS (10 years old)
Dick: My name’s dick
Babs: That’s a bad word.
Dick: No? It’s my name?
Babs: Daddy says it’s naughty to say bad words.
Dick: But it’s my name?
Babs: I’m gonna go ask daddy *runs up to commissioner Gordon* daddy, that kid says his name is Dick, can I say it when I’m talking about him?
Dick: *the son of immigrant parents, grown up speaking an amalgamation of Easter European dialects and was names after Dick Tracy still confused as to why his name is a bad word*
***
Jason
Dick: Hey buddy, I know this is all very new but my name is Dick and I—
Jason: hold up, hold up. Dick?
Dick: yeah, I know, I know but —
Jason: Damn and I thought my parents were assholes.
***
Tim
This little stalker already knew Dick’s entire biography, so there wasn’t a reaction, bless him.
***
Damian
He was brought up by assassins, also no particular reaction.
***
Steph
Dick: nice to meet you Stephanie, my name’s Dick.
Steph: you said Dick?
Dick: short for Richard, yes.
Steph: Nice. *nods*
***
Cass (Cass uses sign language because I said so)
Dick: *finger spells D I C K*
Cass: *there’s a sign for that*
Dick: yeah but we ain’t gonna use it, kiddo.
***
Wally (13 years old)
Dick: it’s so cool to meet other sidekicks! I’m Dick.
Wally: as in your name is Dick?
Dick: Yes *blushing because now he knows why everyone is reacting like it’s strange*
Wally: Ok from now on I’m gonna be the one to introduce you to anyone we meet, deal? Oh you’ll see man it’ll be so much fun *proceeds to list out all of the ways they could sneak dick jokes into conversations*
***
Roy
Wally: Roy, I have the pressure to introduce you to my Dick.
Roy: what the fuck do you mean now!?
Dick: *quadruple flips over Wally and lands in between them* ta-da!!!
Roy: who’s the kid?
Wally *placing an hand on Dick’s shoulder*: this, is my Dick
Roy: that’s your actual name?
Dick: it is.
Roy *looking between the other two*: ok I want in on your plans to introduce him to the others
————
This is all I could come up with but feel free to add more!!
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reminiscingtonight · 2 months
Text
The Thing About Families (Arsenal Style)
Alessia Russo & Russo!reader (Lia Wälti x Russo!reader)
Word Count: 1.5k
A/N: A Russo sisters + Lia ft. Kyra story that wrote itself after that picture came out
And The Things You'd Do (Part Two) // That's How You Know It's Home (Part Three)
[WOSO Masterlist]
“I need your help.”
Growing up as the oldest kid in the family meant you’ve heard this line quite a lot. For your brothers it usually meant helping them sneak out of the house or cover for them as they did god knows what, but for Alessia it usually meant one of two things: organize her laundry or organize her life.
Given that you’ve done all the washing and have neatly stacked her already folded clothes on the edge of her bed, you have a sinking suspicion that this ask has more to do with the latter.
“Rat. What’s up?”
Alessia frowns at the nickname, an insult perched at the end of her tongue. But she seems to think better of it, batting her eyelashes in hopes of seeming more innocent as she latches onto your arm. 
You’re not amused, instantly trying, but failing, to shake her off. “Less, let go!”
“I need your help,” she whines again, digging her heels into the ground. 
You try wrapping your arm around her neck to pull her into a headlock, but the height difference between the two of you means Alessia has no trouble heaving you over her shoulder and onto the couch behind her. You let out a disgruntled yelp, trying to wrestle her for dominance. Alessia simply sits on top of you, hands locking your arms across your own body. 
“Alessia Russo I swear to god, get off!”
“Your baby sister is trying to ask for a favor! Will you just,” she huffs, pinching your side when you try to buck her off of you, “calm down! Just hear me out!”
“I’m kicking you out before Lia gets home. Off!”
How your mom talked you into housing your sister when she moved to Arsenal, you will never know. Lia jumped at the opportunity to help her out, but since she isn’t home right now…
Alessia cringes a bit at your girlfriend’s name and you instantly stop moving. Your eyes narrow dangerously. “What?”
Family is important to you. There’s nothing you wouldn’t do for Alessia, but there’s also nothing you wouldn’t do for Lia too. You haven’t ever had to make a choice between the two of them, but if you’re going to have to you’re not sure if sisterly love will be enough against how much you love Lia.
“If you don’t tell me what your problem is I will actually kick you out. Talk.”
It only takes two seconds under your glare for Alessia to break. “Kyra won’t stop bugging me!” 
For a second you’re taken back to your childhood, a tiny Alessia sat in your lap, saying the same exact thing about Gio. You had given her a comforting pat on the head and then socked Gio as hard as you could in the arm. But now that you’re in your thirties, you don’t think punching Kyra would be taken as well, by your girlfriend or the other Aussies on the team.
“That sounds like a you problem.” 
And Kyra’s hilarious, you’ll give her that. The younger girl had instantly taken a liking to your sister since the day she arrived. And by liking of course you mean a liking to bothering Alessia. 
But as long as the young Australian keeps bothering Alessia and not you, you don’t really see a problem with her behavior.
Call it karma for everything Alessia has put you through growing up.
“And I love Lia, you know that.”
Your lips pinch into a thin line. “I don’t think I’m liking where this is going. If you’re about to be rude about my girlfriend--”
“Lia needs to stop babying Kyra! Sometimes I just need some peace and quiet at the Colney, and I can’t do that if Kyra keeps bothering me and Lia keeps letting her get away with it!”
Right. That.
It’s not like you haven’t missed it. 
Any time Kyra’s running wild your girlfriend can be found nearby, always quick to soothe any ruffled feathers from the Australian’s adventures. At first Steph was set on Kyra duties, but when it became clear that anyone outside of her chosen Australian/Swedish family were ill-equipped to handle her, Lia was quick to step in. 
You’re not sure what it was that drew Kyra to your girlfriend but Kyra lived for the praise and affection Lia gave her and Lia lived for the adoration from Kyra.
So yeah, it’s cute the way Lia has taken the young girl under her wing. If anything it just makes you want to ask her to marry you and start a family faster.
“Don’t be jealous, rat. If you want Lia to baby you again you can just say so.”
Alessia’s too busy scoffing and objecting to your claim that she’s not expecting it when you dump her off of you and right onto the ground.
---
It only takes a week.
It starts when Lia cancels date night. Kyra’s feeling a bit homesick so Lia invites her for a movie marathon at your place. Of course you’re a little bummed, but it’s not something you can’t reschedule so you just let it go. You find Lia and Kyra teasing each other throughout the night cute enough to replace any hard feelings. 
The next strike comes when you have Lia pinned under you in bed, the two of you making use of an Alessia-less house for the night. Alessia had gone out with Vic for the night, telling you with a wink that she would be catching a ride from the Dutch to practice the next day. Your clothes had gone flying off the second you got home from dinner, but before you could really go down to business you hear the unmistakable sound of your doorbell going off. You pause, lips stilling upon Lia’s neck. 
“Maybe if we don’t do anything they’ll go away.”
The doorbell ringing again has you sighing as Lia gently pushes at your shoulders. “Babe, off,” Lia laughs. She gives you a kiss on her way out but she does in fact leave you in bed to see who’s come to visit so late at night.
You’re off daydreaming about what you’re going to get up to when Lia returns when you hear the unmistakable sound of an Australian accent coming from the living room. 
The pillow isn’t enough to muffle your cry of frustration into it. 
You’re already sighing and throwing on a hoodie when Lia pops her head in, apologetic look on her face.
“Do you want to pop the popcorn or me?”
The last straw occurs when you wake up in the middle of the night a couple days later. You’re not really sure what’s woken you up, but you do find yourself at the edge of the bed. There’s barely a sliver of blanket covering you, but Lia’s warm body wrapped around your back gives you all the heat you need.
Humming, you shift as softly as you can so to not jostle your girlfriend. The original plan is to gently shift the two of you back towards the center of the bed, but when you reach over Lia to make the transition easier, your hand hits the undeniable form of a third body. 
You freeze. 
Hazily opening an eye, you raise your head to look at the other side of the bed. Next to you is Lia, like you expected. What you don’t expect is the snoring Australian sprawled out over Lia's half of the bed.
You have to bite back your groan.
You let out a disgruntled grunt when you settle back onto the tiny piece of the mattress left to you. 
You’re not sure how long you lay there awake and thinking through the best way to go about ridding yourself of the new girl in your bed when a sleepy hand comes up to pat at your cheek. 
“Why are you brooding?”
Although you’re a bit grumpy, the sound of Lia still half asleep brings a smile to your face. 
But when you hear a snort, gurgle, and then snore from the other side of your girlfriend, the look is quick to fall off your face.
“What is she doing here?”
Lia frowns, sleepily rubbing at her eyes. She reads your pout easily. “Kyra was tired.”
“So you let her in our bed? Baby, we have a couch. A very comfy couch.”
Lia raises an eyebrow at you.
After spending the next night sleeping on said couch you come to two conclusions. First, the couch is not as comfortable as you initially thought. Second, Alessia was right.
You corner your sister at training the next day. She looks surprised but follows you when you pull her into a storage closet.
“Okay, how do you want to do it? Should we kidnap and ship her back to Australia?”
Alessia grins, not even needing you to say anything further. “Nah, we can keep her local. I think it’s time the other Aussies get custody, don’t ya think?”
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clockwayswrites · 7 months
Text
City Pigeons Bleed Green Part 3
WC: 1861 Masterpost CW: mentions of blood, past experimentation, and torture
Duke tugged the sleeves of the hoodie he had thrown on as he rolled out of bed down over his hands. The Cave was freezing. Usually the temperature was nice. Dressing up in layers of body armor and fighting crime made a person hot and the cool air of the Cave was a relief. When pulled out of bed by an all-hands meeting it was another story and so Duke tucked himself further in the hoodie.
He was pretty sure it wasn’t even his hoodie. This family (and those let into the inner circle) were almost all clothing thieves. Duke had even caught Wally West with his missing Gotham Academy hoodie once. The weird lack of boundaries had taken some getting used to. Seeing various family members naked for decontamination showers or medical procedures helped hurry that along. It was hard to care about who’s hoddie it was was after washing off cuddle pollen together.
The roar of a bike filled the Cave and Duke didn’t even look up. He knew the sound of Red Hood’s bike.
Man, he really had been in this family too long now, he thought and buried his face in his arms. Would they notice if he just went back to sleep?
“Perhaps some tea, Master Duke?”
Guess so.
“Thanks, Alfred,” Duke said and dragged himself properly upright to accept the mug of tea. At least it was warm.
Duke sipped at the tea, his favorite blend of course, as Jason sped into the Cave like the badass bastard he was. He spun his bike to a stop in one of the open spots.
“Hood,” Bruce addressed the other, the Batman™ gravel seeped into his voice even though he was dressed down in sweats, a hoodie Duke was pretty sure was actually Jason’s, and a brace on his wrist.
They all knew what Bruce meant though: report why an all-hands was called, why Tim wasn’t there, did those of them not suited up need to, was anyone they cared about hurt?
“No, old man, you report,” Jason said as he stalked up the steps towards them. “Who the fuck were you fucking fifteen years ago?”
Duke pinched himself to make sure he was actually awake and not still in bed having the most awkward dream. Alright, well, that hurt. So much for being saved from this conversation by the T-rex suddenly coming to life and breathing fire and them having to take it down with squirt guns and pool noodles.
He’d had some weird dreams since coming to live in the manor, alright?
“Um, ask what now, little wing?” Dick asked, looking between Jason and Bruce.
“I asked what I asked,” Jason said. He’d made it to the computer and they all turned obediently to look at the screen. Jason tugged off his helmet and set it down as he leaned against the console. “Who the fuck were you sleeping with at that time, Bruce?”
Bruce stared at Jason for a long moment. “Selina, mostly. Some socialites and such maybe still. What’s going on, Jason?”
“Oracle,” Jason said, not taking his eyes Bruce. “Red should have sent you some media. You’ll get why. Throw something fitting up on the screen.”
Despite what the superhero community and Gotham thought, everyone in the Cave knew that Batman was far from unflappable. They had all pulled one over on him before. But Duke had never seen Bruce looking like that before. As that image went up on the screen, it looked like someone had just shattered his brittle heart into pieces.
Duke couldn’t blame him. The sickly looking guy on the screen made Duke want to go find someone to punch and it wasn’t his face the other was wearing.
“Holy shit,” Steph whispered.
“Father, what is the meaning of this?” Damian ordered.
“Jay?” Dick prompted when Bruce seemed unable to find the words.
Jason scowled down at the ground. “Red and I were on patrol. He noticed… blood.”
Babs brought another image up on the left monitor without prompting. It was a Gotham alley like any other except it was splattered with a green spray.
“That is Lazarus water, that is not blood,” Damian said. His words were as haughty as ever, but there was a wobble under them.
“It’s blood for him,” Jason said. “Trust me. I held the kid as Red stitched him up. Knife wound. It was the only… new wound. Oracle, did Red send you…”
A new image popped up on the left screen and Jason closed his eyes. Duke had to swallow heavily and look away himself. He got now why Jason came in demanding who Bruce had slept with. Bruce’s heart was going to break all over again.
“Who?” Cass signed. Her motion was sharp and aggressive as she pulled her thumb from her chin after the sign.
“We don’t know,” Jason said. “He was jumpy.”
The picture of the horrible injuries was replaced by a video, clearly from Red’s suit. The guy was pressed against the wall, one hand gripped tight over the wet, green stain on his hoodie. He looked dwarfed in it.
“Hey, looks like you could use some help with that wound before you bleed out,” Tim said in the video. Duke could hear how he was keeping his tone carefully light.
“…just who are you supposed to be?” The guy’s voice could barely be heard.
“You must not be from Gotham. I’m Red Robin, one of the heroes here.”
The guy snorted, curling further into himself rather than relaxing at that. “So you’re just going to hand me over to the government then?”
Everyone in the cave stiffened at that, including Jason, which was interesting.
“Why would I do that? I’m a vigilante. Do you know how illegal what I do is? I just don’t want to see you bleed out. Maybe I can even take you to a safe house where you can rest.”
“So that you can interrogate me? No thanks.”
“I mean, I’d like to know who tried to kill a kid, but that’s to make them pay, not you.”
As the guy gave a horrible laugh, Duke reached out and touched Cass’ elbow, reminding her they were all there. These sort of things always hit her hard. She sent him a grateful smile before focusing back on the screen. “Maybe I deserve it.”
The guy tensed suddenly, weight shifting like he was about to bolt as the video slumped slightly sideways.
Jason’s voice rumbled from close to the camera. “You’re what, sixteen?”
“…fifteen?”
“Uncertain,” Cass spoke. Duke had to agree, the guy didn’t know how old he was, not for sure.
“Yeah, no fifteen year old deserves to bleed out. You know who I am?”
Duke tracked the motion of the hood as it slipped. The white hair was curious, considering Bruce, but if the guy was a meta or had been in the Lazarus Pits long enough… or worse, both…
“I’m Red Hood. I protect part of this city called Crime Alley. I’m not afraid to kill a shithead, especially ones that hurt kids, but I never harm a kid,” the Jason of the video said, something they all knew was true. It was an argument still often enough on bad days. “I’ve got places to put you if you needed somewhere safe; places not in the system. Or we can get you somewhere. Do you have a place to go to?”
The guy laughed again. “That’s the thing. I do. I might, I guess. Just no one is going to believe me.”
It was Tim who asked, “Why won’t they believe you? Where do you need to get?”
After the photo earlier, they all knew what the guy would look like when he lifted his head, but it still made Duke glance over at Bruce.
“I need to get to Bruce Wayne.”
-
Jason motioned and the video stopped there and went away.
Bruce closed his eyes.
I need to get to Bruce Wayne.
Another son he didn’t know about. Another son he failed to save from a horrible childhood because he didn’t know they existed.
“He didn’t want to see you right away, but we think that Tim and I convinced him that we could arrange a meeting between you and him,” Jason said.
“Of course,” Bruce answered instantly.
Jason just gave a little nod and explained, “He doesn’t trust the offer, or us, completely. It was enough to get him to the safe house. Passed out on the way.”
“And still asleep,” Tim piped up from the computer. “I’ve been running analysis on the… collar he’s wearing. It’s definitely a one off, but very professionally made. There’s, well, there was a tracker in it that’s been crushed. It’s meant to deliver a shock if someone messes with it, but I can disable that long enough to remove it.”
“You should wait until one of is is there,” Duke spoke up. “Just… in case there’s a reaction when it’s removed.”
Duke ducked his head when all eyes turned to him, still bashful as the newest member of the family. Bruce had been trying to reassure the other, but he knew that was far from his own strength. Clearly he needed to try a different approach.
“Just, you know, he’s clearly a meta? Of some type? It’s probably a containment collar and it could release a, you know, backlog? Of power?”
“Good thinking,” Bruce assured Duke.
“Someone better get here quick then. I hate seeing this thing on him,” Tim grumbled. At least he agreed.
Bruce looked back at the photo still on the center screen to the pale, drawn face. Even in sleep his son’s face was etched with pain.
“Bruce?” Dick prompted.
Bruce took a breath and made himself focus, to be Batman, not a grieving father. How often had he had to make that choice? “Dick, you and Jason both should go. Tim, as soon as the collar is off I want you and Oracle working on it but stay mindful of traps.”
“Will do,” Tim replied.
“And what of the rest of us?” Damian asked.
His youngest had come so far, but Bruce knew this would be a big disruption for him. They would have to watch him. He caught Cass’ eyes and she gave the slightest nod.
“I want Robin, Batgirl, and Spoiler out on the streets. Don’t ask questions yet, we don’t want to lead anyone to him, but get a sense of the mood around the big players. If this is already on anyone’s radar, I want to know.”
“And you need to make a list,” Jason said. “Kid talked in his sleep, begged his mom to stop. Could just be nightmares…”
“I’ll make one,” Bruce said. His bedroom proclivities were hardly what the papers reported, but with how this new son wasn’t certain of his age, it could be pre-Dick, or even at the start of Dick joining the family. It certainly meant there would be more names then any of the years later on. Whoever it was though, Bruce would find them.
He had to try and do that much for his son.
--- AN: Not entirely sure about Bruce's part here, but he's always harder for me to write! I think goal is to get at least one POV with all of the kids, so I guess Dick's is next likely! I'm super fuzzy today (fatigue, day fuck it, seven? Eight? Of this headache), so I hope this is at least decent~
Stay delightful, darlings!
I no longer tag, but you can subscribe to the masterpost to be notified!
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celaenaeiln · 2 months
Note
who do you think each bats' favourite sibling is canonically? i haven't seen much about this outside of super fanon stuff so i'm curious
Let's start with the easiest one!
Tim - Dick
Tim's favorite sibling but also favorite person ever is unquestionably, undoubtedly Dick. This boy adores his big brother. He's full-on obsessed with him.
His thoughts on Dick are just a compilation of praises about him and his inner dialogue simply consists of a series of hero worship.
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Robin (1993) Issue #32
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Red Robin Issue #23
Sometimes I ponder about Dick and Tim's relationship because I feel like what Tim wants from Dick isn't just a brother, I feel like he wants him to be a parent which is part of the reason why Tim and Damian don't get along.
Because the truth is, before Damian came along, Tim was Dick's robin first. And Tim loved it.
(This post was on hold for months because I needed that exact panel where Tim says to Dick "It's obvious he wants us to be the new batman and Robin." BuT i CaNt FiNd It. I literally give up, if anyone know what panel I'm referring to people reblog it with the panel and I'll upload it with the post)
Dick was Tim's Robin and everything he did he wanted to live up to him
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Batman/Catwoman: The Gotham War: Scorched Earth
Look at what he says about Dick:
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Batman: A Lonely Place of Dying
Even before Dick and Tim met again, Tim started working out just so he could be like his idol. Tim literally says to Dick "My grades are okay but I studied because I wanted to just like you."
You know what they say about idols and pedestals and never meeting your heroes? The opposite is true for Tim about Dick. After meeting Dick for the second time, his idol worship grew so much it shattered every ceiling in existence.
Tim loves him so so much. People sometimes misunderstand and think that Tim hated Dick when he fired him from Robin but it wasn't hate that Tim felt. It was jealousy. Jealousy over Dick choosing Damian over him.
Tim even solely used the Red Robin persona for the mere reason that he didn't want to dirty Dick's Robin by stigmatizing it with his less ethical actions.
Damian - Dick
Obviously. The only reason I said Tim was the easiest is because Tim's inner and outer thoughts about Dick can be complied to create volumes of fanbooks of flowing poetry about him. Damian on the other hand is more of a tsundere, but there's still only one person who he loves aside from his father and even more than.
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Robin War Issue #1
If there were any doubts, I don't think this panel could be any clearer about who Damian's favorite is.
Stephanie - Cass
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Batgirl (2000) Issue #38
Cass - Stephanie
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Batgirls (2016) Issue #14
Damn.
Steph and Cass are each other's favorites
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Detective Comics (1937) Issue #945
Duke - noone? everyone?
Like actually I can't pick out one person Duke likes the best. You're either on his wavelength or he's snarking you off it. He's the type of guy where everyone likes him and he's chilling by himself, doing whatever he wants.
Jason - Dick
Out of the batkids who did deal with Jason during his worst phase, Dick is unilaterally his favorite. Sometimes when I think about Jason's relationship with Bruce, I'm reminded of how much Jason and Bruce are alike sometimes because Jason's view on Dick is almost identical to Bruce's view on Dick and they even have similar reactions. We all know that Bruce hero-worships Dick. Time and time again, Bruce emphasizes, stresses, and talks about how amazing Dick is and how he's so much better than him, and constantly places Dick on a pedestal. The issue comes when Dick doesn't want to do what Bruce wants him to do because he believes that Dick is an extension of himself, his better half, and he's furious when Dick doesn't follow or accept what he's doing because Dick should know what Bruce is trying to do because he's supposed to be better than him, how dare he stop him, etc.
Jason acts in similar ways to Dick. There's a whole issue where Jason gets fear gassed and one of his biggest fears is Dick. More specifically, it's about how amazing Dick is and never living up to him because in Jason's eyes, Dick is absolutely perfect. There is no one better than him because he is the peak of everything. He places Dick on the highest pedestal there is and he kind of safeguards Dick there in his heart. He used to get really angry because he believes Dick is the best but also refuses to let Dick be anything other than the best. The best way I have to explain them is Jason holding Dick prisoner as a result of his hero worship.
Once Jason is slightly calmer, his relationship dynamics with everyone became really clear, as well as what he thinks of them and it's shown how the way he treats Dick is just different.
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Task Force Z Issue #8
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Grayson Issue #12
"You don't do that to your--you don't do that to another Robin!"
He was going to say brother 🥺🥺
In this scene, it's pretty obvious that Jason loves Dick a lot but he's obviously not going to be all fuzzy feelings about it because he likes to be edgy. Jason's a little confusing in general for people to understand because they expect him to be nice and open but Jason's not nice, he's just nicer to the people he likes. Once we start understanding that, he becomes clearer.
And to Dick -
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Nightwing (2016) Issue #15
-He's exceptionally nicer.
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DC's Ghouls Just Wanna Have Fun Issue #1
Another example of why Jason loves Dick the most is because in the comics, Jason doesn't work with anyone in the family unless he has to unless it's Dick because he chooses to work with Dick by choice.
Dick - Tim or Damian
Dick adores Tim so freaking much. He loves him so, so much.
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Nightwing (1996) Issue #139
Catch me crying behind my sunglasses at Dick kissing Tim's head lovingly 😭
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Robin (1993) Issue #12
I just love these soft touch moments Dick has with Tim. It's so incredibly sweet.
He was Tim's mentor
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The New Titans (1988) Issue #65
and a really good one too.
He loves him-
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Detective Comics (1937) Issue #696
-so much.
(I'd add more panels but I ran out of image space :'0)
I genuinely cannot say who he loves more at all. I can't even pick. I really do think he loves them evenly because when I think about leaning one side, more evidence comes to mind for the other side like a pair of counter weights.
Damian...I don't really need to say any words because the pictures speak for themselves
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Batman (2016) Issue #34
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Grayson Issue #12
aldskjdhkdjfhldfah;dh. Look at what he gave his son! A souvenir from the first time his dad met his mom because Dick knows how much Damian loves his parents <333!! There's nothing I can even say more.
Here's my previous post on Dick and Damian's relationship.
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