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navybrat817 · 11 months

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Epinephrine

Summary: Bucky races to win as you watch with anticipation.

Pairing: Motocross!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Word Count: Over 1.5k Warnings: Nerves, K-I-S-S-I-NG, swearing, POV switch, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?). Graphics talent and thanks: Banner by @sgt-seabass. Divider by @saradika. Bucky edit by Nix. Moodboard by yours truly. A/N: My third Connect 4 (C4007 - Square 3) / Into an Alternate Juneiverse for @buckybarnesevents! Set in my Dialed In AU, but can be read as a standalone. Apologies for any inaccuracies, but I'm human and still had fun writing this.❤️ Thank you @targaryenvampireslayer for the POV switch suggestion! Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

Epinephrine. Both a hormone and a neurotransmitter, the chemical messenger transmits nerve signals to prepare your body for fight or flight. Most call it adrenaline. Some liken it to pre-race jitters.

Bucky considered it his own personal fuel.

Just breathe.

It amazed him how so many wrote off motocross as just another sport without considering the physical and mental training they put into it or how dangerous it was. Position, weight distribution, and correct form on the bike were all things to consider when practicing and racing. Not to mention no two tracks are alike, the conditions constantly changing. You had to take the hills, jumps, turns, and distance for your own safety and those around you.

He mentally wished Steve and the others a safe race, even Rumlow. Prick or not, he didn’t want the guy to get hurt. He sure as hell didn't want to lose to him either.

"For what it’s worth, I’m glad you didn’t hit him. Because he would have won and guys like him don’t deserve to win."

No, he doesn't.

His heart raced a little faster, his right palm starting to sweat as the nerves and excitement clashed in his chest. The knot in his stomach settled as he waited for the race to start, his focus on the path in front of him. The rough terrain ahead called to him, urging him to unleash whatever anger, fear, joy, and anything he had built up inside. He would go all out, leaving no regrets in his path.

All leading to you after he crossed the finish line.

"Good luck."

Gave me all the luck I need, Spitfire.

With your voice in his mind, it quieted any doubt that lingered. He knew his strengths and even his limits when it came to the sport. Getting back on the bike after his accident already proved that he was a winner. He didn't need to prove himself to anyone else.

But he hoped you would see his worth.

And as the gate dropped, he smiled behind his helmet.

You grabbed Natasha's arm as the riders took off, keeping an eye out for Bucky. She didn't pull away or make a comment when you dug your nails in. You appreciated her a bit more because of that. You also didn't understand why you were nervous when you weren't the one on the track.

I've seen plenty of races, but I didn't have anything at stake before.

"Sorry," you muttered as you let the redhead go.

"It's okay. He's got this," she assured you.

You nodded, doing your best to give her a smile. A mile and a half long course and likely a twenty to thirty minute race and extra lap, you knew it was standard. But watching the dirt fly as you focused on Bucky's helmet, your heart felt like it was in your throat. You didn't just want him to win, you wanted him safe.

Just breathe. He knows what he's doing.

"If he gets hurt, I'm kicking his ass," you said, sucking in a breath as another rider got close to his back wheel.

"And nurse him back to health," Natasha teased.

"Yeah. With a uniform and all," you teased, actually kind of into the idea.

Down girl.

You got uncharacteristically quiet after that, your stomach dropping when Maddox gained on Bucky. He was still in a good position, his friend, Steve, up there with him. It was almost like witnessing a roller coaster ride, the ups and downs, the twists and drops. Adrenaline pumped through your veins and you could only imagine how the guys out there felt actually experiencing it.

Exhilarating.

As the riders got close to the final lap, you jumped up. You somehow stayed on your feet when your head spun, but you weren't going to miss this. Bucky and Maddox were almost neck-in-neck, but Maddox probably thought he had it in the bag. That kind of cockiness didn't always pay off.

You sure as hell didn’t want it to pay off today.

"Come on, Hothead," you whispered.

While Maddox turned his head to look at Bucky, the latter kept his head facing forward and elbows up. As if he didn't care that his competition was there. He raced smarter, not harder, as you watched with bated breath. He kept his lead toward the finish line as you couldn’t help but smile.

Bucky Barnes won the race.

He won. He fucking won.

"Fuck yes!" you shouted, uncaring of your language as Bucky took first, his left fist pumping in the air. The way everyone else cheered, they probably didn't notice. But you finally felt like you could take a proper breath, the mental ride coming to a stop. "For the record, I'm just happy he made it across the finish line. This has nothing to do with the date."

I can actually smell my own bullshit.

"Wow. You managed to say that with a straight face. Impressive," Natasha said, nodding toward the course as the race wrapped up. "Come on. Let's go congratulate him. And by we I mean you."

"He raced a good race. It was very exciting," you said evenly, but you eagerly pulled her along to get out of the stands and through the crowd.

You weren’t sure if you were actually allowed to go up to greet him, but people moved to let you through. Was it your strut or Natasha’s subtle stare that made everyone jump out of the way? As you got closer to Bucky and the other riders, you felt like your heart was going to race out of your chest when you stopped at the edge of the course. Especially when took off his helmet, a light sheen of sweat on his face as he shook his hair out.

Fuck me in the dirt, please.

“Go,” Natasha encouraged after some of the guys congratulated Bucky, except for Maddox who stood feet away with a glare on his face.

Sore loser doesn’t look good on him, but he’s not why I’m here.

Holding your head high, you locked eyes with Bucky when he looked your way. Seemingly forgetting the others around him, he walked toward you to meet you halfway when you stepped in the dirt. The two of you stood there for a long moment before he smirked. A slight one, but still a smirk.

“Looks like I won,” he said, his voice rough.

“You did. Congratulations,” you said, stepping back to hold out your hand. “And it looks like you get to go out with me, so double congratulations,” you simpered, previous annoyance that he bet a date with you completely forgotten.

“Are we shaking on it?” he chuckled, his gloved hand reaching for yours. A spark of electricity moved up your arm once he took it and you refused to deny your attraction at that moment.

“You could say that,” you smirked, yanking him close. “But I prefer to seal it with a kiss.”

You took a moment to appreciate how soft and warm his lips felt when you initiated the kiss this time. You allowed his tongue to slip inside and explore when you parted your lips, feeling the beat of his heart as he pressed his chest against your body. It wasn’t hard or urgent, but excitement and passion consumed you. It didn’t matter if he got your clothes dirty. Or that a few of the riders whistled and cheered at the display.

He smiled against your lips when you had to take a breath. “I thought you said you weren’t a prize.”

“And I thought you said your ass was all mine after you win,” you reminded him, almost wishing you reached around to squeeze it. Even dirty and sweaty, he still looked and smelled amazing. It was a phenomenon.

“I did and I meant it,” he said, sneaking in another kiss before he had to pull away. “You sticking around?”

“I’ll be with Nat. Go do what you have to,” you said, turning away to back to your friend. She had a smile on her face. You had one on yours, too.

“I still have to get your number, so don’t go anywhere!” Bucky called after you.

“Who said I was giving you my number?” you asked over your shoulder. “I never agreed to that.”

“How am I supposed to take you on a date without it?” he asked.

“You seem like a smart guy. You’ll figure it out, Hothead,” you teased, egging him on just a little.

“Want me to get on my knees, Spitfire?”

Yes and split me open with that talented tongue of yours.

“She’ll give you her number,” Natasha said, waving Bucky on as you laughed. You may have checked his ass out again because he did say it was yours. And he no doubt checked yours out as you walked away. “You are giving him your number before we leave.”

“I will,” you promised, giving her a small smile. “I’m glad you introduced me to him,” you added gently, looking forward to getting to know him more.

“And I’m glad you put a smile back on his face.”

Hearing that felt like a victory.

I guess we’re both winners today, Hothead.

Yay! He won! Was there ever any doubt? More to come. Love and thanks for reading. ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

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tearskillstardust · 5 months

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what is the most noble trait according to these genshin characters?

kazuha, kokomi, xingqiu, wanderer, tighnari, wriothesely

i just want to say one thing; this is not about their ideal types. the lover they desire may or may not have these traits, it's just that these features in a person make these characters admire them a lot.

KAZUHA

the swordsman of the kaedehara blood has known duty and sacrifice in his life. whether it be for the peace of those he dared to keep close to his heart or for his survival, he has sacrificed. although it is lovely to note that he harbours little desire to be given the same favour in return, he does admire the nature of sacrifice. it inspires awe in him, it demands his respect. hell, he could risk his life for people who sacrifice.

he asked a dear friend once— 'what is sacrifice?' and his friend shook his head gently and spoke with the weight of an ocean on his tongue— sacrifice is when you give up that which you hold dearest to your heart with firm hands and a firmer heart. it's not a sacrifice if your hands shake while doing it; sacrifice is done without expecting anything in return, it is an expression of the soul, an expression of utmost love and respect for that which we're close to. sacrifice is the greatest expression of love for it is the only one done with no ulterior motive or expectation of a reward in the mind of the doer.

kazuha knew who sacrificed for him after that point in life thanks to his friend, his teacher (and to his amusement, it was no one); and he also knew that it is only with a knowledge of justice, love and peace that one can sacrifice in life.

the swordsman states proudly to anyone who may ask— have you ever sacrificed in life? no, he answers. pride not over the answer but over the knowledge of his dear friend. and the asker of the question can only laugh and shake his head, 'i'm certain you have, kazuha', and the swordsman smiles back serenely, awaiting the day he finds someone who has truly sacrificed in life.

KOKOMI

in the eyes of the divine priestess, no virtue is greater than that of love. not affection, not awe, not admiration, not appreciation— just pure, unselfish love that arises from the bottom of the heart and strikes at the corner of the eyes, prompting tears and making one overwhelmed with the peace and freedom which comes with love.

she firmly believes that love is the one thing in life that liberates us— that brings us closer to the divinity inside of us, allows us to be in touch with our true selves, the possibilities that we hide in our souls and our existence. the priestess says without hesitation— if it binds you, if it constricts you against your will, if it cuts your wings and shuns you, it's not love, it's just attachment. attachment is when a parent sides with their child even if the child is wrong, it's when we do not correct the closest to our heart from their wrongdoings, it's where injustice, attachment, sin and greed prosper.

attachment binds us, holds us back and confines us. it demands the loss of individuality and overwhelms one's conscience with worldly traps, but love? it frees. it is the only thing that all are capable of yet few can truly come to understand. love brings the sky to its knees, the gods to their defeat; it's what makes an old eagle beat its wings against the hardest of rocks till they bleed, love for the sky that refuses the eagle to sit back with wings that disable him from reaching the sky, its lover. love is transformative and sacrificial by nature. it sets the wrong on the right path and enables the sinner to find peace.

as a divine priestess, when someone asks her what is the way to understand the divine, she merely says love. because love is the most divine quality a human being can possess; the priestess waits yet to witness a true lover but is thrilled to find one at least once in her life.

XINGQIU

the much-admired lamp of the guhua clan, the brightness of whose disposition is sung of by those who witness it, holds a peculiar admiration for kings and queens. it's almost weird actually— a hydro vision wielder who possesses few traits that are usually used to define a king and who is characterised by his air-like independent and fun nature, adores the kind ruler!

but if you ask him— he has a very valid reason.

xingqiu set the cup down. as he watched the surface of the tea glimmer and reflect the sunshine, he averted his gaze to a certain figure in the distance, when zhongli, who sat in front of him, looked, he found it was beidou standing along with ningguang. 'there is a famous tradition in liyue. when the first seeds are sown in the spring months, it is lady beidou or lady ningguang who first use the plough on the field. why do they do that i wonder?'

zhongli smiled at the question, 'it is a very ancient practice that first came from sumeru. many animals who are used in tilling the crop die at the hands of the farmer. in such a situation, it is the duty of the ruler to take command and take the sin on their shoulders to ensure that the farmer does not forsake his duty out of fear of killing an animal. it is the responsibility of the king to look out for his citizens and take care of them to the best of his capability, even if it means taking the burden of sin. it is out of love for his citizens that he remains so considerate, even in the face of fear of destroying his piety entirely. those who bear responsibility are not allowed to remain in the darkness of ignorance or hatred, xingqiu.'

xingqiu remained quiet for a while before changing the subject entirely. yet the words that zhongli spoke that day struck a chord in his heart and made him think— if it is love that drives a king then how can anyone who bears hatred or harshness in his heart ever be a king? and how can anyone who bears love and kindness be anything less than a king?

he greeted ningguang and beidou with adoration in his eyes and silent respect in his demeanour since that day.

WANDERER

although wanderer might have retained his attitude from his previous self, he knows from within that he has truly changed in terms of his virtues and personality. and yet there is one thing that he fails to master still— forgiveness.

nahida pointed it out once when they sat near a lake and the fragile boy poured his heart out to the divinity. she said it with a certain simplicity in her tone but the simplicity of it perhaps made it harder for him to come to terms with— he hasn't forgiven his past yet. when he asks his heart, his heart frantically responds, shaking in fear. fear, once again nahida mentioned, erases compassion and consequently the simplicity of forgiveness. one who unconditionally forgives others is happy because the anger of the forgiver is exterminated.

he admires the simplicity of the act of forgiving. it seems so easy, yet it remains the hardest task one can do. and the worst part is— you can't truly know if you've forgiven someone, not if you aren't wise enough for it, and it only brings disturbance to the mind.

one who is wise enough to be capable of forgiveness, possesses the utmost level of virtues and wisdom, in his highness's noble opinion, as he likes to put it.

TIGHNARI

tighnari inhibits kindness of demeanour. the inherent love for life characterises his persona and is perhaps the one thing all admire him for, and somewhere he accepts it because he knows that's his virtue. cyno said once, 'tighnari is of a benevolent nature,' but tighnari does not agree with that.

he is regarded as wise by all those who know him, and in moments of crisis, he is the one people seek advice from. but in spite of the knowledge he possesses, there is a certain selfishness hiding behind it. a greed that is hard to point out because that greed is limited to knowledge— he lacks benevolence when it comes to knowledge. being very well aware of it, he sometimes feels a bit ashamed internally. all his decisions are calculated and wise yet when it comes to guiding others, he may not be completely devoted and hold off his knowledge to a certain extent. others fail to notice, of course, but it claws at him when he gives it thought.

the display of benevolent intellect, the ability to give knowledge to others and take it when given, is a trait he admires a lot. the ability to guide others in cases of hardships, or when there might be a risk to one's most base beliefs is a most noble trait according to him and also one he wishes to develop in himself someday.

WRIOTHESELY

when he was new to his post, he had asked neuvillette once, in a case of doubt and uncertainty— 'is it really okay for a soldier to kill at the border? isn't that form of murder too?'

to that, neuvillette responded with utmost ease and serenity— it is the duty of the soldier to protect his country and when it comes to fulfilling one's duty, if it is mandatory to kill, then one has to take that step too. murder or disrespect for life is not okay in itself, but if one's duty crosses paths with death, then even death has to be challenged and evoked. a soldier fulfills his duty but when he stops the bloodshed and looks at the battlefield, he can't help the tears clouding his eyes. but his own compassion never comes in the way of his duty, which is his form of devotion. perhaps the tears are the greatest penance of the soldier to life.

wriothesely saw duty differently after that and has worked relentlessly ever since to inculcate true devotion and duty within himself as well, and though it is completely safe to ascertain that by now, he has become the soldier in the battle of life, his admiration for duty bound and devoted people has never decreased in measure. that is the reason perhaps, he continues to admire neuvillette— till today, he is the most duty-bound person he has ever witnessed and takes great pleasure in being able to be of service to him.

i would love to add one thing here; the liyuen tradition mentioned in xingqiu's paragraph is actually an ancient indian tradition that was carried out by rulers though the practice declined later on; not saying this as a hindu or an indian, but the culture, at least the culture they ought to follow, is quite admirable.

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altades · 8 months

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Vashwood rant

I can't sleep so why not analyze vashwood in the middle of the night

Now, this analysis is mostly of the manga, with maybe small takes from 98 and tristamp

To start let's look at the boys from their respective beginnings

Vash is so cruelly mischaracterized as a child, and it might be a little bit of trismaps fault, even though i do love it, or maybe people are just putting characters into boxes without really thinking about it but Vash is so not soft-shy-nice little baby brother. The whole thing with him being younger is so insane to me, i get why if Nai was born like 10 minutes earlier he would make it his whole personality (very sibling thing to do) but it's just so stupid. No, they have 0 age difference and it doesn't affect their dynamic cuz the are literally twins for the love of god. And, really, when you look at the manga as kids Nai was the emotional one! And he still is!

Nai is plagued by fear and anger and resentment and those emotions are what drive his every decision. Vash, on the other hand, is much more in control of his feelings and doesn't show them as much. That is to say that pre-tesla nai is the one worried about their relationship with humans, about their future, he's the one crying after talking to Conrad (what a sweet child he was) while Vash seemes much less scared.

And when they find out about Tesla Nai is the one who faints - he’s the more reactive one, the emotional one. And that small difference is what sets their paths so differently. Because Vash actually gets a chance to talk to Rem and figure things out.And that talk is so very important because it makes Rem, who already was everything to Vash, even more important.

Now, I want us all to think about how terrified Vash was after seeing Tesla cuz he probably thought his own mother was going to dissect him and his brother. But then she saves him when he tries to end his own life, proving that no she’s not gonna kill him, because she, as every human, has the capability to learn from her mistakes and make better choices. (too bad Nai didn’t get that lesson lol)

And then we get to the big bad things. (it’s genocide) But the important part from that whole ordeal is Rem’s sacrifice. Because, listen, I love stories where humanity is shown to be capable of change and forgiveness is a virtue and love and pussy and all that but oh man can it be so so unrealistic and a little bit insane to watch (su im looking at u (i love su but oh boy that is not how the world works unfortunately)) but Trimax manages to make it work so well. I believe that’s cuz Vash is a very kind and loving man but is also completely out of his mind and has horrendous mommy issues. At least half the reason he doesn’t kill people is because Rem has died to save them, and killing them would make it all be for nothing. If he kills these people or if he lets them die would that mean that Rem died for nothing? Did she sacrifice her life to save these people only for her own son to end their lives? AND you know I’m right cuz he literally says it in the manga but also BECAUSE HE DOES THE SAME FOR WOLFWOOD (also he did kill Nai when he had the chance but we don’t have time to unpack that)

All of that is A LOT and very complicated (i love Vash he’s so well written he’s my perfect little meow meow) now let's talk about Wolfwoooooooooood /twirls hair/

WW is much easier to understand and analyze cuz he is, just a guy,, WW is just a normal person who gets insanely unlucky and gets in THE WORST possible situations (If he ever played DND he would roll straight 1s). That is to say that his story is sort of a way to show how much life in the badlands sucks, but also that there are good things even in the worst places (the orphanage) And WW reacts to situations in the most rational way possible way - he kills to survive. he doesn’t want to but he doesn’t get a say in it. If he could chose he would just live with his family and friend and do whatever. And that, him being so normal in such a violent and bloody world is what makes him suffer all the time. His inner moral compass is screaming at him what a terrible person he is and he promptly ignores it.

That is until that moral compass manifests itself in the form of a tall, blond and handsome stranger that he’s supposed to lead to his death. The stranger who turns out to be the most compassionate and kind man WW’s has ever seen. Who he’s supposed to kill. It’s like finding an oasis in the desert and being forced to burn it to the ground. And WW doesn’t want to do that, and he refuses to believe that the oasis is not a mirage so he tries to get Vash to kill someone, even if it’s WW himself. (It doesn’t work.)

As we all know WW changes his mind because of Vash’s influence. And he dies for it. Because even though Vash’s beliefs are born of human virtues, no man is made to walk his path, for he is not human and any mortal who tries to follow an angel to the skies is doomed to crash. WHAT YOU DON’T EXPECT IS THAT THAT MAN WILL BRING THE ANGEL DOWN WITH HIM

There is this line I wrote for an art i’m planning to make and if you’ve read this far you deserve a lil spoiler - “have you found absolution in bringing an angel to his knees?” and it captures perfectly what i'm thinking. And also Vash spends so much time trying to be closer to people but I think him killing Legato might’ve been the most human thing he’s ever done. Cuz it’s is so beautiful in the way he does it for the memory of the person he loved and yet so ugly in it’s cruelty.

I’ve said this before but most of the time when there is a human/ some immortal powerful creature relationship I don’t think the human is that special but WW HE SO IS. Maybe it’s the way that he’s just as deep in the nuclear bombs with personality business as Vash is, being one of said nuclear bombs, but still remains a normal person with relatively good morals that he can anchor Vash to a sort of normality that he doesn’t get often. Like what other guy would get hunted by all sorts of freaks with you, get in trouble all the time, get shot and etc and etc and then go for a drink with you like it’s a normal wednesday? Wolfwood. Or maybe it's that WW learns of every worst part of Vash, he sees him be on the brink of losing himself, he knows Vash has actually caused the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people and ALMOST did it again after Julai, and still stays with him? He sees Vash become something that is not human at all and still stay? Idk MAYBE IT’S ALL OF THAT but WW is just so important and so down bad but we all know that already so i’m not gonna add to that

Anyways, I got this all out of my system gn

#vashwood #trigun #trigun maximum

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blackmosscupcakes · 3 months

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I'm fascinated by how this arc of The Wizard the Witch and the Wild One has really flipped the narrative on who's in the right and wrong compared to the first arc, because the key thing is NONE OF THEM are acting differently than they did then--they're all acting incredibly true to character traits that were established from the get go--the only thing that's changed is the surroundings and the context of the backdrop around them.

Out in the world, among ordinary people, Suvi often came across as imperial-minded, deeply indoctrinated, and carrying a feeling of being superior to those who weren't of the citadel. Her feelings and actions were understandable, but the reaction of the audience was often to read her as being overly hostile to the other two and determined to cleave to the Citadel and the beliefs of her upbringing to a degree that was detrimental to their task.

Ame and Eursulon showed a willingness to go off half-cocked and act impulsively based on their feelings in the first arc just as they did in this latest episode, but in the context of the wider world this often came across as deep empathy with ordinary people and spirits and a sense of responsibility to deeper matters beyond the politics of humans. Sure, their actions were a bit reckless and had some negative consequences, but they were acting with their hearts and for the right reasons and everyone was down for Quest Fever!

And then last night we see exactly the same dynamic play out once again--Suvi trying to balance the needs of her adoptive mother and her home and the entire institution in which she grew up against the needs of her friends, while her friends run off and literally blow up the Citadel's shit in absolute defiance of everything Suvi was raised to believe. Now, standing there alone and reeling from a curse as her friends tear off leaving destruction in their wake, she seems understandably hurt, as well as obedient, measured, restrained, sensible, if perhaps a little too blindly trusting in Citadel processes*. And likewise, amidst the context of seeing how the Citadel runs and how generally well it's treated Ame and Eursulon, the two of them seemed reckless, ungrateful, disrespectful, and short-sighted with an unwillingness to play along with the realpolitik of going through the proper channels. Instead they (quite literally) burned important bridges and damaged Suvi's life in the process (though it's also understandable that in light of the revelations about Eursulon's sister they rightly felt unsafe even if Steel was understanding).

It's fascinating how incredibly similar the climactic sequences from these two arcs have been. The characters have followed their natures and it's led them down exactly the same path twice in a row. But the context surrounding their actions is VERY different this time, and each mirrors and recontextualizes the OTHER occurrence. People were largely on Ame and Eursulon's side last time, and they're largely seeing Suvi's side this time. It's been a really complex ethical and practical tangle to navigate both times (and good on Brennan for setting it up that way), but I feel like seeing the two together helps us understand and respond to ALL of the characters in a better way than just having one of these situations would have. It's been really cool to watch, and I've been absolutely loving reading all the thoughts and opinions from people on every side of it. It's already been some of the best fandom discussion I've seen about a TTRPG show.

*I read an interesting perspective from someone who believed they would have had to escape even if they'd trusted Steel, as she already went from "meet me at this time" to "give me more time to talk to the diviners" and they thought she would have continued to delay and delay in order to check all of the Citadel's bureaucratic boxes--I'm not sure whether that's what would have happened but it's an interesting possibility, and one that prevents Steel being used as basically a deus ex machina powerful ally any time they're in trouble.

#i just love all three of these characters so much #and i want them to be able to be friends and have everything work out and be on the same page 😭#but their perspectives and ways of interacting with the world are so different that once things start getting complicated #they're always going to fall on different sides #and it's always going to break my heart ;_;#but man everyone involved in this is just SO talented #they're absolutely at the top of their game and it's paying off big time in the quality of this story #worlds beyond number #suvi kedberiket #suvirin kedberiket #ame wbn #eursulon #the wizard the witch and the wild one #wbn spoilers

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ozzgin · 5 months

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hai,baby ...I know your request is closed now. And if you don't mind, can I leave my request when your blog is open? ( If no that's okay,you can delete this request) alright....So, I really like the butterfly demon that you made for Inuyasha and Sesshomaru on request.And I thought what if the fem s/o butterfly demon had met Sesshomaru and Inuyasha ( separate please) when they were little (the fem s/o butterfly demon was also still a child at that time) Dancing on a hill or mountain with the moonlight shining on her and her beautiful butterfly wings,Instead of being surprised by them Femin s/o elegantly stretches out her hand to invite them to play or dance in the middle of the forest . ( Headcannon)

Definitely! I’m very glad you enjoyed the idea, all of my requests are always so creative! I wouldn’t write so much if it wasn’t for all the vivid prompts. The whole atmosphere you described immediately reminded me, for some reason, of this song from 'A Troll's Fairy Tale' Otome game. It just set up the whole mood of the story.

Inuyasha/Sesshomaru x Butterfly Demon! Reader Headcanons: First meeting

Featuring a young Inuyasha and Sesshomaru and their first encounter with the child demon.

Inuyasha

Inuyasha was never a child to cause trouble. He always clung to his mother's soft sleeves, quickly following behind her as his tiny footsteps barely made a sound against the polished tatami. So whatever possessed him that night is, to this day, beyond his understanding. Nonetheless, on a certain night with full moon, he snuck outside and ran across the tall grass and up the hill until he reached a glade.

It was almost as if someone had called him by his name, a mumbled, merely audible whisper echoing from the distance. He’d been to this place many times before with his mother, yet now it looked entirely different. His small body cowered before the crooked, swaying shadows of the tall trees and he wanted to run away, doubting his intentions. That’s when the clouds cleared and the patch of open greenery was once again bathed by pale light. He hadn’t noticed the other person. A child, like him, carelessly and effortlessly dancing around, indifferent to the world. Although it couldn’t have been a human. Inuyasha was very much familiar with demons given his own family, but he’d never seen one like this. Adorning her back, a pair of sheer, colorful wings fluttered gently in the wind.

He must’ve been staring rather intently, because the mysterious nocturnal artist finally noticed his presence. You seemed pleased by the idea of having company, so you enthusiastically skipped and twirled your way over, extending an inviting hand. He barely grazed his fingers against yours when the worried shouts of his mother startled him out of his trance. “I think I have to go back home”, he muttered apologetically. “Mom is looking for me.” And with that, he begun sprinting away, occasionally looking back to see if the butterfly girl would still be there.

Sesshomaru

Even as a child, Sesshomaru had always been aloof and independent. It wasn’t uncommon for him to disappear at random times, so no one would question it, especially given he’d always return safely. Sometimes he just needed time to himself and away from others, in order to gather his thoughts and also train, hoping to close the gap between him and his father. Other times he’d wander out of pure curiosity, out of the desire to explore.

It was during one of his nightly expeditions that he felt the sudden desire to follow along a certain path. He knew very well where it led, to one of the cozily hidden glades he’d visit for his sword training. Though he’d never been there after dark, so this was a first. Once he reached the forest clearing, he shuddered slightly at the cold wind. It was unexpectedly chilly for late spring and the cherry blossom branches creaked with the breeze, scattering clumps of petals. He surveyed the area with his big amber eyes and spotted some movement ahead. A girl his age. Or rather, a demon. He involuntarily reached for his sword, expectantly. You were too focused on your movements to realize his presence. A pirouette under the moonlight, and your wings spread open theatrically once you were finished. Sesshomaru was mesmerized.

You heard the quiet gasp and turned to your audience, chuckling at the young boy’s baffled expression. “You can join, too. I won’t mind.” You said reassuringly. Sesshomaru huffed, embarrassed to be caught so beguiled. “Why would I do something so silly?” He retorted, trying to play it cool. He folded his arms and looked away, uninterested. “You can just say you don’t know how to dance.” You teased, cheekily. This seemed to have hit a nerve, as the boy glared at you and answered with a puffed up chest, “S-so what about it, I’m a warrior, not a dancer!” You shrugged and hopped on a nearby rock for some elevation, continuing your little dance. As annoyed as he sounded, Sesshomaru continued to observe you, a faint blush warming his cheeks.

#inuyasha #inuyasha headcanons #inuyasha x reader #sesshomaru #sesshoumaru x reader

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isuckatwritingsobenice · 10 months

Text

Dangerously Yours

Note: Alastor with these lines has me in a chokehold, also set with Human! Alastor

Navigation!! // Masterlist!!

╔═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╗

"You lied to me!" She cried, fists clenched at her sides. "You deceived me!" Yet, he remains calm. As if this is a mere conversation about the weather.

"You tried to deceive me." He says with a shrug, carelessly, as he uses a small cloth to clean the knife in hand.

"I'm tired of listening to you." She says, and she fails to mask the pain in her voice. It's getting harder and harder for her to form her words, to think straight.

"You gave me your heart, you know?" He says, placing the knife down quickly. He begins to step towards her. "You'd like me to hand it back whole again. But I won't." He says, stopping a few inches away from her. She's quiet, tears streaming down her face. She looks so hurt, so confused. So broken. He's living in it. "You lived a long time, yet Y/n, an eternity without me." He says, moving to brush a piece of hair out of her face. Her breathing is harsh, quick. He speaks calmly again. " You will look into the faces of passers by, hoping for something that will, for an instant, bring me back to you. You will find moonlit nights strangely empty because, when you call my name through them there will be no answer." He says, before his hands move to squeeze her shoulders.

"Always your heart will be aching for me, and your mind will give you the doubtful consolation that you did a 'brave' thing." He says again, before she feels the rage build in her again.

" You dare to talk of bravery?" She asks, almost as if he is crazy. She wouldn't be wrong if she thought so.

"What else do we have to talk about Y/n?

╚═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

╔═════ °• ♔ •° ═════╗

"You must tell her the truth." His mother says, her hands clutched tightly to her chest. She feels sorry for the poor girl her son is about to hurt.

"Tell her the truth?" He asks, and turns to his mother with a look of astonishment on his face. "Tell her the truth so she will watch the stars through tears instead of following the one cold star that is her destiny?" He asks as he stands from his desk, chair falling behind him. He pays no mind to it. Instead, he pauses for a moment, before he laughs, his hand cradling his forehead as he thinks. " No, let her think,... I never loved her." He says finally, and he can only be so honest with himself. He knows this will crush him just as much as it will ruin her.

╚═════ °• ♔ •° ═════╝

╔═══°∴,*⋅✲══〖✰〗══✲⋅*,∴°═══╗

"He is the difference between Life and death and heaven and hell." She cried, sitting on the steps of her front porch, as her sister lightly rubbed her back. She blew her nose into the tissue again.

"Is he really?" Her sister asks, and she turns to her, eyes and nose red, cheeks flushed. Her eyes look like glass as the tears fall, and she lets out a sigh.

" Oh, don't you understand?" She asks her, before she stands and walks down the steps, standing in path of the stairs. She turns to her, one hand clutching the tissue, the other her dress. She turns around to look at her sister again, who stands up to stand with her. " If he dies I wanna die." She says, before she breaks out into sobs, her arms clutching her sister as she's pulled into an embrace. Her body shakes as sobs continue to fall, the tears staining her sisters dress.

╚═══°∴,*⋅✲══〖✰〗══✲⋅*,∴°═══╝

┏━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━┓

" Once I told you I'd kissed a thousand women. It was a lie," Alastor says, taking another spoonful of his ice cream.

"I know." She says with a laugh as she sits next to him on the bench. He grins.

"I've only kissed two or three hundred." He says, his smile never faltering as she wiggles his brows at her. "Now, how many men have you kissed?" He asked curiously.

"Very few." She says, looking at the ducks that walk by. He tilts his head upon hearing her answer.

"But you offered me a kiss? Why?" He asks.

" Such a foolish reason I'm afraid," She says with a chuckle, looking down in her lap. "I just, ... wanted to kiss you."

┗━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━┛

◤─────•~❉᯽❉~•─────◥

"Is there something wrong? Is there anything I can do to help you?" He asks, as he watches her light a cigarette with shaky hands.

"No,... I thought for a moment that you might help me but..." She stops and shakes her head. "I can't ask you, I simply can't ask you." She says, bringing the cigarette to her lips, before inhaling. The smoke fills her lungs, gives her brain a sort of buzz she craves more often since meeting him.

"Why can't you ask me?" He questions, getting closer to her. "Who do you want killed?" He persists. She stares at him for a second, before looking ahead of her again, watching the sunset. She doesn't answer, so he continues. " Oh look, I'd,... I'd really like to help you." He says sincerely, trying to get her to look at him.

She does.

◣─────•~❉᯽❉~•─────◢

•╔════◄░░░░░░►════╗•

"Won't you come in Mr. Lasqiuer?" She asks, sitting down at the dining table. Everyone is outside dancing at the gathering, the band playing soundly. He shuts the door behind him.

"You know who I am?" He asks, his eyes wide in surprise.

"But of course!" She says, reaching forward to light a candle. " You were the most handsome man in the gathering, and I was very lonely. So I thought tonight I will have an adventure. I will make the acquaintance of the distinguished Mr. Lasqiuer." She says with a bright smile, using the now lit candle to light the rest.

"How do you know my name?" He asks her, moving to one of the nearby chairs at the end of the table. She giggles.

"It was not difficult to find out." She says cheekily.

"How did you know I wouldn't run off with your jewels?" He questions, sitting down at the end of the table.

" I took that chance." She laughs, before sitting back down. "Are you angry?" She asks, looking to him. He laughs, fixing his glasses.

"No, I'm not angry... If some kind fate wishes to send a beautiful lady to dine with me I can only be greatful. You will do me the honors won't you mon cherie?" He grins, and she smiles, nodding at him.

" I should be delighted!" She says with a smile.

•╚════◄░░░░░░►════╝ •

╔⏤⏤⏤⏤╝❀╚⏤⏤⏤⏤╗ "If I betray you I betray myself." She says, looking at the sky from the balcony. "If I betray him, I betray my family. My family is very dear to me." She says, turning around, putting her hands on the railing. Alastor steps forward, caging her in.

"Dearer than I?" He asks, his eyes searching for an answer in hers.

"No..no not dearer than you." ╚⏤⏤⏤⏤╗❀╔⏤⏤⏤⏤╝

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅• " I'm going to tell you something tonight Y/n, something that will put my life in your hands." Alastor says, as the two stand on the balcony, smoking.

"Life." She says with a giggle, inhaling more smoke.

"it would mean my life yes, if used to get into certain circles yes." He says with a nod. Y/n frowns and shakes her head.

"Then don't tell me. How do you know you can trust me?" She asks, looking at him. He can see the sadness in her eyes. See that she already knew this was going to happen. This was what she feared.

"I love you, and I believe you love me." He says, putting his cigarette out. Y/n throws hers over the balcony and walks to the door leading to into the apartment.

"You're quite wrong, this has only been but an adventure to me." She says, pushing the door open, with a quick glance over her shoulder. He's following her now.

" that isnt true Y/n." He says, hoping he's wrong. He wants to be wrong for once.

"It is true, you smiled at me I would laugh, it was an adventure for a holiday mood." She says, moving to the large couch to grab her coat. He stops a few feet away.

" You may as well take my heart Y/n, it's already full of you. You walked into it the day we met." He said, hands to his chest, resting over his heart.

"You're a fool Alastor." She says, shaking her head turning around to look at him. She backs up, knees hitting the couch behind her, and she falls.

" Isn't that any man who falls in love?" He says, and she stays quiet. " Do you know what you are to me? You're something to believe in again, You're a type of person that had ceased to exists for me. A fine, honest women." He says, bending down to take her hands in his. She shakes her head looking down at her lap.

"Darling you're such a child." She says, tears spilling. " Take your foolish little dream and your heart and go, please go." She pleads. He refuses.

"What is it what's wrong my dear?"

"You know nothing about me, You've known me only three weeks!"

"Three weeks? Y/n I've known you all my life." He says, his feelings hurt.

"All your life." She says, taking her hands away, crossing her arms and leaning back, folding them.

"It's true, I've seen you in a thousand plays, read you in as many books, When I heard beautiful music I thought 'she'd like that'. I've looked at flowers and known that one day I'd give them to you."

"Oh stop stop." She says, pushing him away to stand. She walks to the door. "You're not in love with me, I'm not that woman! Perhaps I was once but I'm not now. You see, you were wrong. You cant love me." She says sadly. He gets up and moves closer to her.

"You mean to tell me a man we both know and shall not name is holding you back?" He asks, ignoring the anger in him.

"What are you saying?" She asks.

" You see I've known all along. I had nifty look you up in the records." He said reassuringly, hands gently rubbing her arms.

"You mean, it didn't make any difference?"

"It didn't make any difference." He said with a smile. He truly loved her, and he was ready to risk it all.

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

#hazbin hotel x reader #alastor x reader #hazbin alastor #hazbin charlie #hazbin angel dust #hazbin vaggie #hazbin demon #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel rosie #alastor #dangerously yours

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kryslovescapricorns · 11 months

Text

+ krys’ astrological observations +

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>> Libra Risings with Aries Moon, this combination can create such a push and pull between opinionated fiery aries moon and the libra rising that genuinely feel horrible later on. It’s like they’re the criminal and the judge.

>> Cancers have influencer energy! Being moon ruled we know the moon affects tides and back in the day they used the moon to mark harvesting seasons, the beginning of the agriculture revolution. People may be likely to look to you for advice. Almost like you always know the “right” timing. In this way you have a lot of “influence” on the people around you.

>> Capricorns are trendsetters. I don’t make the rules Saturn changes signs every 3 years and whatever that sign is the general “trend” of the next 3 years. Saturn was in Aquarius, social distancing. Saturn in pisces (now) real movies are back y’all !!

>> Leos can be extremely humble in the way they communicate, always giving people the space and time to respond and also reassuring people that they understand. You validate others just through communicating with them and showing them you care and take them sincerely.

>> Gemini & Virgo are both ruled by Mercury but these people can also easily clash. They form a square because they are both mutable signs. Gemini is Virgo without self expectations. So when they meet, virgo considers everything then makes a choice and gemini does whatever tf comes to mind and sees what sticks. In this way gemini can be EXTREMELY annoying and stressful to virgo.

>> Pisces Moons have a tendency to forget they exist, forgetting to respond to messages, missing appointments, not eating. All of these things are because they truly FORGET that they are a human being living out an experience that affects others.

>> As lucky as Sagittarius’ are they have the curse of people not relating to them because they see them as mythical or “godly” in a way. This can be very unfair especially when groups of people turn on you in favour of a perceived “underdog”. People tend to hate sagittarius’ with a burning passion of a thousand suns, not because they did anything that wrong but because of who they are and the blessings they amass.

>> This is why Sagittarius’ with Cancer placements are lethal, the luck and charm but with the added *cute bebe* energy of Cancer. You can’t stay mad at them for long. No wonder Jupiter is Exhaled in Cancer.

>> A Scorpio+Gemini combination is genuinely frightening. These people are fire starters !!! Meaning they’ll say something or start something just to enjoy the chaos it ensues. Like that one meme of the little girl smiling with a burning house except it’s her own house she set on fire, on a whim.

>> Aquarius like “bad” attention. Meaning they enjoy when people don’t like what they wear or judge them for their opinions. To them it’s a sign they’re on the right path. Always pushing the envelope.

>> Aries + Libra Friendships or relationships are TOP tier. I’m a triple Libra and every time I meet an Aries placement we just get into a comfortable flow instantly, like I lay my head on their shoulder, they lean against me, we hold hands casually. In friendships it feels like a sibling you’ve just met. In relationships it feels like starting a relationship from the middle. Just NATURAL.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey All!! Let me know your thoughts in the comments this is my first Astro Observations. I’ve had this account created for a while, i’ve been planning/researching a series where I go through every mercury sign through all the houses. I’ll be using house rulerships to add more dimension.

First will be Aries Mercury through the houses!

Stay tuned babes,

🌷krys🌷

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cherr-22 · 7 months

Text

TNGDH 22

“I still don’t know what I should do.”

Sen sighed.

“His Highness Belial is much more considerate than I had thought. If I agree to follow him to the castle, he told me he would take care of me so I wouldn’t have to worry about anything.”

I snorted inwardly while taking a bite out of the sandwich in my hands.

‘Take responsibility my ass.’

Who knows how much trouble it might bring if he involves himself in her business. Would a prince even have the time to protect a mere maid? Sure he would, if he plans to marry Sen that is.

“What are you pondering about? If I were His Highness Kyle, you’d be rooting for me.”

Sen clasped her hands together and looked up to me, her eyes open wide and sparkling, waiting for my answer.

I avoided her gaze as I nibbled on my fried ham and cheese sandwich.

“I’ve made up my mind, but I’m worried…… worried that I won’t be able to accomplish what I want.”

I glanced at her while licking off the bread crumbs on my finger tips. You said you wanted revenge. Why can’t you do it? Do you not have enough power?

The expression on her face looked to say that she knew that even the easiest path may also be a path full of thorns, so her worries didn’t seem to be anything about that. It may be a sense of helplessness on a more fundamental issue……

Between annoyance and curiosity, the latter got ahead of me. I made a subtle remark.

“What are you worried about? You’re smart and hardworking. Struggling from the lack of power and authority will only be temporary. The you I know will surely be able to accomplish whatever you want if you put your mind to it.”

That’s right. It hasn’t been long since we first met, but I knew this for a fact.

Sen is that kind of person. She will always go a step beyond the limits a person would set to oneself.

I could feel her determination. The determination to live on and to not stray from her own beliefs and values.

This is why I am not overly anxious about the story of this world, despite working hard to prevent Kyle’s death.

Sen can achieve everything she can possibly want to achieve without anyone’s help. In the time one would look back and regret their actions, Sen would take another step forward and eventually reach her goals.

It would’ve been better if <Winter’s Heart> was a fairytale. Everyone deserves to have the happily ever after. Sen, me, and also Kyle.

Suddenly, the contents of the original story popped up in front of me.

[“Your Majesty Belial. Could this be fate? For you, who resembles His Majesty the late Emperor, and I, who resemble my mother, to become so intertwined. Please tell me. Is this a coincidence……. or is this karma?”]

At first I couldn’t understand why this appeared. Why am I being shown something between Sen and Belial?

I know however. The system would never show me anything that wouldn’t be useful. Even the smallest details would have some sort of meaning.

[(´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)]

No, not emotes. Those are usually useless.

[(´。＿。｀)]

I swiped away the emotes and carefully re-read the story contents from before.

‘Fate, coincidence, karma…….’

Human relationships can’t be neatly organized into those three categories. Belial wouldn’t be able to easily reply to a question like that. So, that shouldn’t be the point here……

Ah. Sen resembling her biological mother.

“Sen.”

I said as calmly as possible.

“Did you say that you wanted to avenge your mother?”

“Yeah. Due to some various incidents, she fell from her position from a baron family. I also heard she was once nominated for Serena. However… I’m sure you know. The nobility is always full of fights, with no knowing who started it. It could’ve been a fight for authority and everyone pretended not to know anything……”

Ah, now I understand.

There was now confidence in my voice.

“Then go.”

“Hm?

“You’ll know when you get there. Who is your enemy, who wants to get rid of you. Don’t miss anything and look around you carefully.”

Sen’s enemies will definitely recognize her. After all, she resembles her mother. They will see her and will want to erase her existence. Just like they did to her mother.

And if I were to guess from what Sen said in the story, one of those enemies would be Belial’s biological mother, the preceding Queen Serena.

“Would that be enough?”

“Of course. Also…….”

If she’s going against Belial’s mother, she definitely has to go with Belial.

The first step towards revenge is returning back after the passing of many seasons and seeing the shock on the faces of those who thought they had perfectly trampled everything down.

“Don’t let go of Belial.”

Whatever emotion it is that compels her is fine. Belial Serena Meinhardt. He will be Serena’s clue.

Sen began to ponder by herself. I couldn’t give her comforting words, but at least I conveyed the words she needed.

It seemed she decided to trust me. I’ve only shown her my suspicious and shady side, but she nodded her head with a boldly.

“Good. That’s what I’ll do.”

“You said you disliked the cold here in the North, so it worked out for you well.”

Then it seems I won’t be able to see Sen for a while. Will she be ‘Serena’ by the time we meet again, as according to her will?

No longer wishing to influence her fate, I felt that it was now time to step out of her life.

“Take care. Don’t be sick.”

“Shu.”

Sen looked at me quietly.

“Whenever you need help in the future, I will definitely come help you.”

I nodded and said yes.

It felt strange. It’s been a long time since someone told me they would help me, so those words sounded foreign to me. After my uncle ran off with all my insurance money, I couldn’t trust anyone anymore.

“Great. Don’t even think about taking back your words when that time comes.”

I laughed.

And then I prayed. For a happy ending to come to Sen, whether it would be through fate or a miracle.

[The possibility of Sen finding the correct revenge has increased!]

[The threat to Kyle Blake’s life has been reduced.]

[Current Miracle Value 23.0%]

If the miracles of saving a person’s life could really make everything perfect, then perhaps that would really be a life like a miracle.

As expected, the life of a hamster is the most comfortable. No need to worry about anything and without Kyle around, I could enjoy my time on my own.

I’ve earned quite a bit of Miracle Points. I wouldn’t use them often since these points weren't permanent, but it’s still good to have them in case of emergency.

There will definitely be items like the ‘Long-Lasting Acorn Cookies’ from before that can help turn the situation around.

Let’s see…….

‘Show me everything you’ve got.’

[(⊙ˍ⊙);;;]

Why, what. Is this your first time seeing the strength of a nut?

### He is flexing the amount of Miracle Value points he has

Give me everything you’ve prepared. No, give me everything including the ones you haven’t finished preparing too. Look at me trying my hardest to do good deeds. Let’s be nice to each other, ‘kay?

‘Come to think of it, didn’t it say it had a renewal opening?’

I was curious about the other pages I couldn’t see before. Kyle hasn’t come back yet, so I could look over it slowly.

[☆*: .。. o(≧▽≦)o .。.:*☆]

[!Nut Store!]

Good, good.

[Knock Knock Pistachio Shell ｜Miracle Points 2% consumption｜1-time use Master Key. It can open any lock!]

[Sweet Almond Tart ｜Miracle Points 5% consumption｜You can transform into something else for 1 hour.]

Wow.

They’re worth as much as they’re expensive. The durations are short, but I am a ham- no a person who mastered the usage of ‘Summon’ despite its short duration.

As I tried to turn the page, another system window appeared before my eyes.

[NOW LOADING…….]

‘……Is it not completely made yet.’

Well, developing isn’t an easy task. Take your time.

While inspecting the system window thoroughly, I saw a new heart-shaped button in the right corner. What is this? Is this also a shop?

[Love Love Corner~❤]

‘Ah.’

Before I fill up my Miracle Value, I hope I can hit the system just once. I calmed down my emotions and clicked on the Love……. anyway, I clicked on it.

[Fluffy hamster yarn! ｜ ❤×1]

[Small and precious knitting needle set ｜ ❤×1]

[Try making one yourself! 79 styles of hamster clothes｜ ❤×2]

[Replica hamster to soothe the loneliness (Duration : 30 minutes) ｜ ❤×100]

This time, the currency unit was not Miracle Points

‘Heart? What is that?’

[Currently Possessing Hearts ｜ ❤×312]

[Products bought in the ‘Love Love Corner’ will be recognized as an ‘Item’! Both customizable and adjustable!]

When did I possess so many hearts!? I’ve never even collected them!

‘This, no way this is…….’

My life…….

I looked over to Kyle with a rotten expression on my face. And impressed by his affection towards me, I pushed my front paws onto the rope.

“You ride well, Cashew.”

He said with overflowing satisfaction.

I sat on a piece of wood held up by two thin ropes and swayed on it helplessly back and forth.

It was a swing that Kyle brought over.

Who bought this thing. Don’t tell me, Sen? This…… is this how you repay me back after helping you…….

[||ㄱ―||]

I know, my expression looks exactly like that emote. We both know I look like that, but only that bastard Kyle doesn’t know.

Kyle continued to push the swing I was sitting on while making noises unlike of his character.

“There you go! Try stretching your legs a bit further. You are holding on tightly to the rope right? As expected, you must be enjoying this a lot.”

―Squeak. (Stop it.)

“Sen said you’d like this, since you are such an active child always running on the hamster wheel.”

―Squeak……. (Bullshit…….)

Sen. ‘m gurnna gill you……

### “Sen. I’m going to kill you……” with clenched teeth in frustration

Doing all this doesn’t mean I’ll lose weight or form a mana stone, and yet it seems he’s already quite happy seeing me play like this. He looked truly happy and had a soft smile on his face.

“From magicians to veterinarians to a demonic beast specialist… you have no idea how much I’d do for you.”

Hearing those words, I pushed my bottom harder while letting out a deep sigh. The swing creaked and began to swing a little faster.

Kyle then let go of the swing. I pushed myself against a pillar to rock myself back and forth.

The wooden swing made cheerful and light noises as it swayed fast. Kyle was so moved seeing me shake my bottom that he began to clap.

Sigh. It sure is hard to play with you.

[Currently Possessing Hearts ｜ ❤×320]

As long as you’re happy…….

--------------------------------------------------------

Main / Next Chapter

T/N: Please don't hesitate to message me through Ask Me Anything if there are mistakes! Also, consider tipping me if you liked my translation here. Every tip will be an extra chapter released the week after, plus early chapter access for members!

#tngdh

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tepkunset · 5 months

Text

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes Film Review

(This review contains spoilers!)

I consider The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes book to be a masterpiece that sets a standard of what YA Fiction can be; something that any young adult upwards can enjoy. Suzanne Collins does such an amazing job of pulling you into the world and characters she’s created, and doesn’t shy away from the truly grotesque things that make a dystopia feel impactful. I am glad to say that, for the most part, this film lives up to that standard.

Before anything else, I do want to get a few minor complaints out of the way. Keep in mind they did not ruin the film for me, but I feel they are worthy of pointing out.

Sejanus Plinth is my favourite character in the book, and while for the most part he is very accurate, there is one thing that really disappointed me: In the book, Sejanus knew damn well what he was doing with the rebels; he deliberately supplied them with weapons. But in the film, he has the line “I didn’t know there would be guns”, discovering for the first time that they used his money to arm themselves. This really feels like de-clawing his character to me.

It would’ve been nice to have at least a brief mention that Barb Azure is gay. I can understand why they had to cut out Pluribus Bell for time, but because the also cut him out, that means there’s no mention at all of the book’s queer characters in the film.

The relationship between Coriolanus and Sejanus has a much more bitter feeling in the film than in the book, and after sleeping on it, I think I know why: Because we don’t get to hear Coriolanus’s thoughts in the film, the film I think overcompensates by making him much more verbal about his snobbery towards Sejanus. Subsequently, it’s harder to believe why Sejanus sees Coriolanus as his best friend.

Okay now, onto the praises!

The story is extremely loyal to the book. In fact, there is a lot of dialogue that is ripped right of the page, and it all made me really happy to hear. I am especially glad they kept in this pinnacle Lucy Gray quote: “I think there’s a natural goodness built into human beings. You know when you’ve stepped across the line into evil, and it’s your life’s challenge to try and stay on the right side of that line.” Because this, of course, directly enforces the core message I took from the book: Good and evil is a choice. The choices that Coriolanus made are his to hold responsibility to, and as much as you can point at Dr. Gaul for introducing him to the path he takes, ultimately, he chose to walk it. Most of the changes were understandable cuts for time without any sacrifices being too detrimental. The things they added were all, in my opinion, enhancements to the story by expanding on what only happens on the peripheral of Coriolanus’s point of view in the book. For example, the things he only watches on screen in the arena are delved further into by shifting to Lucy Gray directly a few times. They also added a bit to Coral’s character at her time of death, which I liked because it made her out to be less of a cardboard antagonist and instead reminded the audience that she, too, is a victim of the system.

All the actors did a phenomenal job, from both the main and supporting cast. Tom Blyth does a great job at showing Coriolanus Snow’s progression down the path of a young villain in the making. Rachel Zegler does a great job at capturing Lucy Gray’s charm and free spirit. Josh Andrés Rivera does a great job at selling the weight Sejanus carries around with him, and has some of the best line deliveries in the film in my opinion. (My favourite being “I’m so blameless I’m choking”.) And I especially have praise for Viola Davis as Dr. Volumnia Gaul, who does an amazing job at bringing the unhinged character from the book onto the screen. She’s properly intimidating and strange at the same time. Dimitri Abold as Reaper was also a scene-stealer, in that he captures what I absorbed from the book really well; the western societal expectation that a young Black man is a danger that is then turned on its head. Not only does he not kill a single person, he has a very emotional moment of mourning for the tributes, collecting their bodies as he does in the book, and covering them with the Panem flag – something that outrages the audience more than the actual death of the children.

The scenery is very loyal to the descriptions provided in the book; I swear they stole it straight from my own personal imagination while reading.

The music… I don’t even know how to put to words my satisfaction in how the film adapts the music written out in the book, into an actual song. My personal favourite is “Nothing You Can Take From Me”. Rachel Zegler has a great voice, for sure.

The costume design is great. The Capitol’s eccentricities we know from the core trilogy haven’t evolved yet, but there’s still a certain flavour carried with characters like Tigris and Dr. Gaul for example, that tell a story of where the fashion will eventually end up. On the other hand, we see that things haven’t changed very much for District Twelve at all, which showcases how society’s change is stilted in poverty.

The colour palette of the film is mostly just a little desaturated, with one exception: whenever Lucy Gray takes Coriolanus outside of District Twelve. The meadow, the lake, and the forest are all noticeably more colourful, which I interpreted as representing the freedom these locations offer to the characters.

All in all, I think the film was fantastic. It is easily the most loyal Hunger Games adaptation, and I don’t think that’s coincidental in its quality.

#tbosas #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #thg #hunger games #movie thoughts

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cycat4077 · 3 months

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Good stories have 3 types of characters. The characters who represent what we should strive to be. The characters who represent the people who are incapable of change. And the characters with the potential to change.

This literary device has fascinated me since I was a high school student reading "In the Heat of the Night". It was then that I realized that some characters are like "Sam Wood"; they start life off with prejudices but have the potential to change their way of thinking and become better individuals.

I have carried this with me ever since, trying to see the humanity in everyone and trying to first understand the cause of someone's actions before jumping to conclusions.

This does not mean that I condone crimes or racism or prejudices of any sort. People should be held accountable for their actions. Period. However, I also try to uphold an optimistic view of the world and hope that with proper information and facts, those with that potential are able to change in time.

Part of why I enjoyed Fargo season 5 so much was because the characters were complex. No one was perfect. Everyone was fallable.

More specifically, we had several characters who represented the values we should strive for in ourselves: Dot, Witt, Wayne, and Indira. These characters showed us their humanity and willingness to put others before themselves.

We also had characters who represented those who cannot change: Roy and Odin are but two examples. These characters represent those whose view of the world is so twisted that they do not possess the humanity to ever change.

But we also had characters who represented those with the potential to change: Gator, Lorraine, and even Ole Munch. Each started the season set in their ways. They only had one goal in mind but through the events that happened, either to them or to someone close to them, they found it inside themselves to see their world differently; to consider the world from someone else's point of view and how their actions could affect it. In Ole Munch's case, it was the kindness and forgiveness offered by Dot that gives him his path forward. For Lorraine, it was the solidarity of being a woman, and seeing the abuse Dot suffered that allowed her a change of heart. And for Gator, it was his blindness that finally set him free of trying to be like his father.

These characterizations were intentional and, matter-of-factly, a product of excellent writing.

In my Tumblr world, I like to dive deeper than the good vs evil we see on the surface and try to understand the characters' motivations and trajectories. It just so happened that an actor that I respect was playing one of these morally gray characters. This is why my focus on Gator was so heavy. I enjoyed trying to understand his character and appreciated the way Joe Keery was able to depict it on screen.

I have been raised to see the world from others' point of view before I make conclusions about who they are and how they act. I try to look for the humanity in everyone, even if it may not be immediately apparent.

Tumblr is also my safe space. It is a place I have turned to for 13 years to express my love of fandom and to connect with others who share this excitement. If I have ever made anyone uncomfortable on here, I apologize. It was never my intention. Politics has no place on my blog, and it never will. This is my safe space for enjoying fandom away from real life. I will not judge other Tumblr users, and I expect the same in return. After all, every single one of us is fallable in some way. We can all grow and be better, and my choices, both online and in real life, will always be made with others in mind.

Tumblr is not a place for judgment before we get to know others. It is a place to respectfully share our love of fandoms without the fear of that judgment or of being labeled. It is a place to support one another. This is how I have, and always will, conduct myself while on this site, and I appreciate all the lovely people I have met along the way. ❤️

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random-introverted-blog · 3 months

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His Star - His Queen [Chapter 7 - Impromptu Rendezvous]

A King Deserves More

Summary: Astarion and you are finally (kinda) reunited (not fully). Tentative plans are discussed, a tournament commences and a wish is granted. Questions answered, (also kinda) and plenty more left to ponder (definitely).

You didn't think you were the only ones with plans, did you?

Link to the Tumblr Chapter Index

Warnings/Advisories: A fight scene, some uncomfortable witnessed kisses, a few mentions of blood. Creepy dialogue akin to Chapter 4.

A/N: We're getting close to a turning point in the story. Been sort of a lull period to establish what was set up in the first three chapters.

Thank you as always to everyone who supports this little adventure of mine! Hope the wait was worth it!

-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈--ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈--ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈-

After a quick visit to the Precipice for the enchantment to be recast on him, Astarion once again found himself outside that damned palace, amidst the bustling stalls and festival nonsense.

They had been watching, but neither was sure how to reach you. You were effectively surrounded. With that steward spawn Malacai glued to your side, three servant girls in your shadow and four of those palace guards in polished silver armor gleamed in the rays of the midday sun. If there was an attempt at subtly, it was done poorly. But that didn't stop you from casually browsing the jeweler's stand as the stumpy human man made enthusiastic and broad gestures, beaming proudly as he went on about his wide and varied selection. Evidently eager to be the one to sell you your engagement ring.

Just as evident as the fact you weren't wearing one, despite the announcement yesterday.

It was one of the first things he noted to Aric beside him when they spotted you exiting the palace. Accompanied by your small horde, the Ascendant had walked at your side, hands clasped behind his back and carrying himself with his chin held high. Jester - a fitting name for a gnome, he might add, muttered something about drawing the Godking away before he melted into the sea of people. Just moments later, a messenger arrived and whispered in the Ascendant's ear. And then he visibly excused himself from your company. Not that you seemed to mind his abrupt need to depart. But Astarion could have done without witnessing the brief kiss he gave you before he departed.

"If we don't reach her now," Aric muttered to him urgently, "we'll lose our chance." "The tourney is in less than an hour." Subtly reminding Astarion that he insisted on participating.

As soon as he embarked on this ill-conceived plan, he immediately regretted it, muttering, "Bloody hells." But he was never one for planning, anyway.

"What are you—?" The tiefling asked, bewildered, as the elf departed his side and strode toward the guards and servants.

Predictably, his path was blocked by two guards, their crossed spears serving as a clear message "By order of his Majesty, none may approach the consort. "One of them said sternly from behind their full helmet, concealing their face. By curiosity or chance, you looked up from the ring in your palm. Your face instantly brightened with excitement, but then fell, dejected, just as quickly. Worry etched lines on your beautiful face, but you turned to that tall steward of yours. Speaking quickly and urgently, judging by the movement of your lips.

Despite the incredulous expression on your steward's face, you pressed on, your eyes silently begging for understanding. Reluctantly, and with a clenched jaw, the human waved his hand, causing your small horde to retreat. Leaving the path clear for Astarion.

It was so sudden to him then how much he's missed you. How desperately he ached with the ferocious need to draw you close, to wrap you in his embrace, where the world's shadows couldn't dare to touch the warmth of your skin. Shield you the same way you've shielded him so many times.

He could sense that it had also occurred to you. But you pressed your lips into a thin line and shook your head. "I don't need to give him more reason to..." you whisper, your words fading away. Your attention shifts, and you start absentmindedly turning the ring in your fingers, lost in thought. "How come no one else is reacting to you?"

As you ask, you visibly tense up, your muscles tightening as if you're holding yourself back. The urge to run to him was strong in you as well.

"That's quite a long story, my dear. For now, it's a unique spell, or enchantment. That protects me from my... quirks. And my identity from anyone besides you and him."

While skeptical, you seem satisfied enough to let it go. Freeing him to continue. "Listen, Tav," he spoke, mindful of his volume, his voice barely audible over the bustling festive chaos, "we're working as best we can to get you—"

As you hold up your free hand, you cautiously inquire, "Who's we?" You quickly glance from side to side, ensuring that your steward and servants are nowhere nearby to overhear.

"There's a resistance, darling," Astarion whispers. "I've spent the past tenday in their company. They've gotten me mostly up to speed on the state of things in this world." Astarion explains quietly, ensuring his words were only as loud as they need to be. Gathering his courage, he ventures to ask, "Are you...?"

He watches your body tighten into a coil of raw nerves, unease sneaking over you like an unwelcome shadow. "I'm okay, Star," you manage to say, even though your voice betrays a hint of your inner turmoil. "Just tell me what I can do to help. Anything, if it gets me out faster."

With a weighty pause, he inclines his head. "Do you think you could slip out of the palace again? Venture into the city, perhaps less guarded?"

You pause, your fingers fumbling with the ring, as you visibly ponder the request. The burden of the decision lingers in the air, adding a layer of tension. Visibly pondering the request, you furrow your brows, a small crease forming between them. "I... yes," you finally respond, the words escaping your mouth with a hint of bitterness. They hang in the air, heavy and charged. "I can convince him to let me leave, perhaps under the guise of... the wedding arrangements." The words carry a venomous undertone, as if each syllable is laced with resentment and disdain.

Your eyes dart around but focus nowhere in particular, avoiding his gaze momentarily before meeting his eyes, silently seeking understanding. The magnitude of the task is evident in your expression, a mix of determination and uncertainty. "But I can't give you a definite time or location," you continue, your voice tinged with a touch of frustration. "I have to think about it, spin some webs. Another tenday, maybe two, for when he might let me out of the palace. I can't guarantee how guarded I may be, though." As you speak, a faint scent of freshly cooked meats and incense wafts through the air, mingling with the tension. You take a deep breath, as you silently question if that is enough time or if it's too much time.

"How do I even reach you to let you know? Have you any idea how restricted I am in that gilded plane of Avernus? It's not like I can just toddle out and send a letter by pigeon." You gesture to him with the hand holding the ring and suddenly look away. Hiding your eyes behind your well tidied hair.

Every fiber of his being longs to envelop you in his arms, offering the reassurance you so desperately need, and he has to remind himself consciously of the audience around the two of you. "You helped me take back my freedom. I will not leave you alone fighting to regain yours, my love." He pauses and eyes the jewelry pinched between your fingers. A black band, exquisitely crafted, sparkled with a delicate arrangement of petite blue and silver gems.

Like a night sky painted with graceful strokes of twinkling stars, crafting an mesmerizing display resembling a beautiful dance across the dark expanse of midnight.

"You have a servant girl you apparently handpicked."

"Elowen." You finish for him, still not returning your gaze. "I saw her with you yesterday."

"She has a sending stone for you. You can use that to inform me how your plan is progressing, and when we can expect your... appointment." Astarion offers. By the hells, where is that wriggling worm when he really needed it? Dormant? Is that what Illyndra said? "I have to go. The tourney is about to begin. Suppose I'll see you there."

With a slow and deliberate movement, you raise your head to make eye contact with him once more. Hardened. But with more than just resolve. The instinct for self preservation was starting to take over. A little more than a tenday and you were already well on your way to building your bulwark against pain.

Your primal survival instincts were already well underway, it seems.

It seems like your primal survival instincts were already well underway. "No." you respond, your voice devoid of warmth, your eyes distant. "I have another lesson on sovereignty or whatever to endure, followed by a dress fitting, much as I wish I could shirk those things. But he will be there." Your gaze shifts upwards and away, as if searching for an escape. Despite your casual tone, the words carry a warning. His involvement will expose his presence in this world.

Now aware of the human steward's slow approach, his hands tucked behind his back. Astarion pressed his lips together, realizing that you had noticed before he did. "Lady Ancunín," he chided, "that is not the proper way to speak of your affianced publicly." As he drew near to your side.

A fleeting glimmer of a glare that passes through your eyes before you swiftly bury it away, refusing to meet your Star's eyes and witness his shock at your unexpected title. You take one last look at the ring between your fingertips before pushing it back onto the wooden counter of the stall. "It was good seeing you." Lacking emotion, you mutter over your shoulder, your voice sounding even more lifeless than the vampire spawn.

Then you turn away. The vibrant hues of your flowing dress create an enchanting whirlwind around you, captivating the eyes of those who witness your departure. Beside you, Malacai effortlessly matched your determined stride, the click of his boots echoing in sync with your deep brown shoes, and the guards and servants followed closely. However, amidst the commotion, only one person breaks away from your shadow, venturing into the bustling crowd. With a lingering gaze upon the ring you had set down, he moves on.

Curious, Astarion followed her carefully. Barely moving through the crowd when he found her again. He wasn't surprised when he found her speaking to the Ascendant. The exchange was short-lived, a mere moment, before he brushed her off with a nonchalant wave of his hand. She performed a graceful curtsy before him, and then hastily made her way, presumably in search of you. He turned back to a familiar tall Elven man. "Ballar." Aric said as he appeared beside him. "His righthand steward. Out of all his advisors, generals... Ballar is the one he seems to lean on the most." He explains calmly while Astarion recalls his first day in this world, in front of the palace doors.

On his way to the tourney ring, Astarion swiftly shares the key details of his conversation with you. Noting the balcony overlooking the patch of fenced in dirt from above. Positioned next to each other were two magnificent chairs with ornate designs. Empty for the time being, but a handful of servants diligently clean the tables, meticulously polish the armrests and golden goblets, and arrange a spread of refreshments.

"Jester lured Ancunín away by tipping off the Noctis to a resistance hideout, but now he has to hurry and evacuate it before they get there. He told me to make sure you won. Apparently he has an idea for that wish." Aric explains next, surprising Astarion the lengths the gnome went to provide him an opening to meet with you.

If these Noctis Veil are as... efficient as he's been led to believe, it was not a risk he would have taken lightly. An elite subterfuge and espionage force blended with vampire spawn? Creative... and terrifying.

Not long after, the tourney began. He had expected more competition than those he had faced in the ring already, but they hardly stood a challenge against him. It was almost comical. As their gazes met, Astarion braced himself for a more pronounced reaction from the Ascendant, but was met with a calm and collected demeanor. His doppelgänger didn't seem surprised in the slightest.

What did surprise them both was when you entered the balcony from the door behind the Ascendant. Right behind you, Malacai discreetly positioned himself against the back wall, behind the chairs. While waiting for his next round, Astarion observed the "sovereigns" and could tell that the Ascendant wasn't thrilled to see you there, although he didn't appear eager to send you away either.

Instead, he gestured to the seat beside him, and you took the offer. Though Astarion saw your lips moving, neither of your voices reached his ears. But you made a show of eyeing and playing with your left ring finger as you spoke, and your vampire managed a sad smile. Still doing your best to communicate to him what was unfolding around you.

But then the monster turned to lock his glare to Astarion's. Cueing you to look as well.

Much to his surprise, the Ascendant let you watch most of the event before clearly dismissing you. Again, with a soft touch and a gentle press of his lips against yours, he sealed the moment with a brief, yet lingering kiss, unable to resist the allure of your beautiful, addictive lips. You didn't look at Astarion as you rose and left, avoiding his gaze.

However, the Ascendant did. His eyes gleamed with wicked delight as he leisurely crossed his leg over his lap, revealing a glint of his fangs beneath his lopsided, smug grin.

Aric's surprise at Astarion making it to the final round was clear, as he made no effort to conceal it. Though the combatants thus far have proven easy.

Once he enters the pit, he assesses his final opponent. The sight that greeted him was a striking half orc man, his tall frame clad in resplendent gold and silver plate armor. A longsword stood firmly planted in the earth in front of him. On one knee, deep in prayer. A paladin.

Rising, he turns to the balcony, his eyes filled with determination as he brings a tight fist to his chest. "My Godking," he said with utmost reverence, "I swear my undying loyalty and devotion to you! May your reign beside our queen be long and prosperous!"

"You can take him deeper down your throat, surely." Astarion mutters under his breath with a roll of his eyes, drawing his twin daggers from his hip.

The game-warden, true to form, delivers her usual verbose introduction for the two fighters, emphasizing the high stakes of this decisive match. And with two deafening blasts of the horn that mark the start of the final match, the paladin fearlessly charges forward with a resounding roar that reverberates through the air and mingles with the dying echo of the tournament horn, his footsteps echoing like thunder.

Radiant energy crackles along the length of his blade. Astarion moves with grace and ease, smoothly sidestepping the initial strike, a small grin already forming on his lips.

The sound of steel meeting steel echoes through the festive courtyard as Astarion effortlessly parries the next series of broad swings, his movements appearing almost otherworldly in their fluidity.

With each display of the behemoth's strength, his confidence grows, knowing that all he has to do is bide his time, find the perfect moment, and make the behemoth kneel before him with a blade at his throat.

But the ferocity of his assault doesn't relent, testing your vampire's stamina. A heavy strike descends upon his head, and with a swift, skillful roll, Astarion narrowly avoids the blow. A sharp pain shot through his shoulder, confirming that the behemoth managed to graze him, marking the first sign of bloodshed.

Gods, what kind of idiot was he? Direct confrontation would never work. His opponent had brute strength and evident vitality on his side. But what he didn't have was speed and agility. He couldn't outmaneuver Astarion...

Filled with renewed determination, he deftly navigates around the hulking figure, launching rapid attacks whenever he spots a vulnerability in his armor. Aimed to soften his target, make him easier prey.

The paladin, feeling the taste of victory within his grasp, lifts his sword once more, unleashing a powerful cry as he gathers an overwhelming surge of radiant energy, preparing for a divine smite. With incredible reflexes and nimble footwork, Astarion skillfully evaded the attack, causing the half-orc to lose his footing and stumble ahead.

Astarion, quick as lightning, seizes the fleeting opportunity and launches a relentless assault on his opponent, the sound of his slashes and stabs filling the air as the paladin struggles to defend himself. Finally, one of Astarion's daggers finds a weak spot in the sturdy armor, piercing the skin and drawing blood. Despite his subdued appetite, the tempting aroma wafted through the air, teasing his senses.

Ignoring everything else, he stayed fixated on the momentarily stunned paladin, driving the pommel of his dagger directly into the half-orc's nose. He relished in the satisfying crunch and the resulting cry of pained astonishment. Employing a strategic technique, he disarms his adversary with the flat of his blades, following up with calculated strikes to immobilize the weakened areas.

Completely outmatched and devoid of weapons, it appears that even this arrogant brute accepts defeat as he humbly kneels before your rogue, surrendering without resistance. Silently acknowledging him as the victor.

The applause of the crowd faded into the background as he turned his attention toward the balcony. Astarion's eyes locked with the Ascendant's, who couldn't help but sport a sly grin as he arched one eyebrow in amusement.

He paid no mind to the game-warden once she let go of his arm, the one she had hoisted in the air, and he quickly made his way back to Aric. Only a little surprised to see the irritating gnome at his side. "Impressive for a foolhardy pretty boy."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me." Jester doubled down but shook his head. "Listen, we don't have long before you're summoned for your audience with Ancunín..."

‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐

With a nod from the well-dressed servant, the guards stepped back, allowing him to open the door. The Ascendant commanded attention as he stood in the middle of the room, his back facing the onlookers as workers toiled to remove a grand portrait from the wall. Meanwhile, the Ascendant maintained his poise, casually holding a goblet between his fingertips.

It looked like you... but also not. Somehow.

His gaze lingered on them, studying their actions, before he turned his head to look over his shoulder and acknowledge his new arrival. "Ah, my favorite cockroach." Muses the Ascendant with a wry smile. Returning his attention to the workers, he commanded, "Leave us."

Astarion observed the workers exchanging uncertain glances, their hands carefully clutching the weighty portrait. Looking on, he could discern the Ascendant's eyes rolling and catch the faint sound of an impatient growl resonating from his throat. In a hurried frenzy, they carelessly released their grip on the item, hitting the floor with a resounding thud. The impact was forceful and reverberated through the room, shattering the delicate frame and inflicting irreparable damage upon the once-pristine portrait. Yet, a strange indifference permeated the room, as not a soul in the room seemed to care about the damage.

Once only the two vampires were in the room, the Ascendant turned to face him. "Quite a performance you put on today. And you didn't even spend half of it on your back." He taunts, flavoring the malice with a smirk as he elegantly swirls his goblet. Astarion's senses tingled as the intoxicating scent of fresh blood wafted through the air, a scent as pure as the first falling snow. It possessed a certain sweetness, a tantalizing whisper that hinted at its source - young, untouched... Virgin blood? The thought alone sent a shiver of excitement down his spine.

It was an obvious attempt to bait him. Salt his wounds and tease his instincts, his hunger. "Where is she?" Astarion demanded, his tone sharp and impatient.

Mimicking confusion, he gently tapped his chin. The furrowed brows cast a shadow over his piercing ruby eyes. "I know of many, but none named so simply as 'She'..." he mused, his voice trailing off with a hint of contemplation. As if lost in thought, he released a soft sigh, the sound barely audible. "You'll have to elaborate, I'm afraid. Small words, if necessary for you." He adds quickly near the end of his sentence. The words accompanied a slight wag of his finger, creating a sense of derision in the atmosphere.

"Where," your vampire's deliberate speech draws out each word, "is Tav?"

"Ah, you mean my consort and fiancée, Lady Tav Ancunín! Impressive, isn't it? She carries my name already, and she hasn't even decided on a design for her wedding dress! But I spare no time nor expense for my beloved treasure." He looks up and away, a wistful expression crossing his face and a sense of longing fills his eyes as he lets out a dramatic sigh, before refocusing on his Spawn-self.

"Even you can understand that, surely..." he uttered with a subtle hint of challenge in his voice and then casually lifted his goblet to his lips.

"I understand enough to know she detests being spoken of as some cherished possession." Astarion snaps, his voice sharp and full of determination, as he dares to take a single step toward the vampire lord. "She desires simplicity, quiet, a humble but peaceful life. Not," he gestures broadly to the large, opulent room, glittering chandeliers casting a soft, golden glow over the hardwood floor, "this. If you have any genuine care for her, you would have seen that by now," he argues with conviction. Lowering his chin, every one of his instincts urging him to rend this imposter limb from wicked limb.

Pausing, the Ascendant's piercing gaze locked onto him, an iciness emanating from his unmoving expression. The air grew heavy with anticipation, a silence so profound it echoed in the room. "She will learn," he asserts, his voice laced with an unyielding determination that cuts through the silence like a blade. "Already, the seeds of knowledge have taken root within her. And once she embraces the timeless gift of eternity, we shall have an infinite expanse to immerse ourselves in her tutelage."

Astarion's eyes widen in disbelief as he is taken aback by the shamelessness that emanates from the Ascendants' words. In that moment, his mind becomes a raging battlefield, a chaotic storm of countless responses swirling within him. Insults, questions, and a myriad of other thoughts clash violently in his head. But amidst the chaos, he hones in on the crucial information just revealed. "You actually plan to turn her?" He manages to utter with a focused glare, his words dripping with a blend of incredulity and scorn.

The scene before him unfolds like a vivid tableau, each detail etched into his consciousness, the Ascendants' smug expressions, his self-assured posture, all of it adds fuel to the fire burning inside him. Astarion can almost taste the bitterness of his own anger, a bitter tang that fills his mouth as he struggles to find the right words to respond. "She's to be just another pretty spawn to sit at your feet, then?"

"Don't be absurd," The Ascendant sneers, his lip curling in a disgusted expression. Shadows dance along the walls as the Ascendant's power emanates. The aroma of incense and polished floorboards lingers in the air, mingling with a hint of something sinister. "My power has surpassed that of a mere vampire lord," he continues, his voice dripping with a chilling confidence. "The bride of a vampire Ascendant, a king, a god... should transcend the lowly status of cattle and spawn." As he speaks, his eyes, a piercing shade of crimson, reveal a darkness that seems to simmer beneath the surface. The thought of his own immense power elicits a twisted satisfaction, sending a shiver down the spine of anyone who dares to meet his gaze.

"The depths of my intentions for my darling consort, my queen-to-be, are far beyond anything you could even begin to comprehend." With a dismissive flick of his hand, he turns away, his red and black tailcoat swirling behind him like a macabre dance as he gracefully moves towards a table - adorned with a vase of dark flowers and flanked by a pair of elegant couches. He takes a deliberate sip from his goblet. The liquid, a rich crimson, glimmers in the warm golden glow of light, embracing the room from the chandeliers above.

Setting down his cup with a gentle clink, he shifts his attention back to Astarion, whose feet seem glued to the ground. The room feels heavy with tension, as if it could be sliced with a knife. This bastard, with his unpredictable nature, unsettles him to no end. With reluctance, he acknowledges that his best advantage lies in staying close to an exit, much as he loathes to admit it. "My time is fleeting and precious, little rodent. You emerged victorious in the tournament, earning yourself a single wish. However, be warned, I possess the authority to reject anything I find unsuitable," he states, adjusting his attire to settle comfortably into the plush seat behind him. Draping one arm lazily over the backrest, lifting his other hand to inspect his impeccably manicured nails, a small gesture of indifference amidst the charged atmosphere.

Astarion doesn't hesitate. "The gravesite of your lover. Where is it?"

"The mausoleum—"

"The real one." Interrupting, he receives a look that is both amused and indignant from his imposter. "I know you hid the body."

"There was no body to bury, never mind hide." The Ascendant bites, sending a dagger of a glare up at Astarion. "The disintegrate scroll reduced it to ash, and her soul has no desire to return." His tone murmured as he allows his gaze to drift back to his nails.

"I concealed the remains by the beach, where our paths intertwined for the first time. I was not keen to share her, even then..." he murmured, his voice devoid of any excitement. A pat of his pocket to check the content and a precise motion, his fingers delved into the recesses of his exquisitely crafted pants, retrieving a weathered locket. Without a parting look, he stretched out his arm, offering it to Astarion.

Cautiously, he stepped closer and delicately lifted the small silver locket from his hand. Tracing their intricate, though simple engravings with his thumb, he marveled at their intricate simplicity. As he attempted to open the latch, a faint click sound sung through the air only to be met with resistance. The mechanism lay broken, refusing to yield.

Before he could gather his thoughts or utter another word, the grand doors to the room suddenly swung open with a resounding creak. In a state of urgency, a servant burst into the room, her breathing heavy and ragged and eyes widened in alarm. "My Godking, there is a matter that requires your urgent attention!"

With no interest in responding, the Ascendant maintained a distant stare, fixed on his nails. "Another one?" He mutters under his breath.

"It's Lady Ancunín, she... her parents...!"

In a swift motion, the Ascendant springs to his feet, his tailcoat flowing behind him. With purposeful, long strides, he makes his way towards the door, the sound of his boots echoing through the room. The air carries a sense of urgency as he sternly commands, "Escort our tournament winner out, he's received his reward." He remains focused, not glancing back at either of them.

Startled, her voice trembles as she stammers a quick acknowledgement and the guards flanking the doors from the outside move to stand beside her. The heavy footsteps of the guards echo through the grand hall, armor polished and shining in the well lit grand hallway. They stand beside her, their imposing figures reinforcing the command of their Godking, urging Astarion to comply.

As he delicately slipped the locket into his pocket, his feet remained rooted to the ground. His mind, however, raced like a wild stallion, galloping through a vast expanse of thoughts. You didn't have "parents"...

-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈--ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈--ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈-

A/N: I know Bhaal is the Dark Urge's father, before we get in an debate to tell me something I already know...

Next chapter could be another Spawn chapter or we could go back to Ascendant. Seems like we're sort of doing a two-and-two sort of format and we can maintain that for awhile.

Would love to hear from you guys as always how you're enjoying the story thus far. Feel free to drop a reply or an ask, whatever floats your boat.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate #baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate astarion #ascended astarion #baldurs gate fanfiction #astarion #bg3 astarion #astarion bg3 #baldur's gate astarion #vampire spawn astarion #spawn astarion #ascended astarion vs spawn astarion #ao3 baldurs gate #His Star - His Queen #HS-HQ

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darknight3904 · 5 months

Text

Reunions and Lemonade

Masterlist / Main Masterlist

S.H.I.E.L.D.'S Helicarrier 2012

"Hello, Astri. It's been a while hasn't it?"

Astri didn't speak as she stepped closer to the glass that separated her from Loki. His hair was long, and greasier than usual. He seemed a bit paler than Astri had remembered but it could have been the harsh lightning that shone above him. He wore his usual gold armor and green leathers, it seemed slightly different and less ornate than the set he had when they last saw each other. He had also added a bit more leather on his shoulders, perhaps in a bid to look more intimidating?

"I believe an apology is in order." She said once she was in front of him

"For what? I do not regret killing those Midgardians. They are but mere steps on my path to greatness. I am burdened with glorious purpose, I don't expect anyone to understand how I-"

"No, you fool. You punched me so hard last time we saw each other, you broke my nose." Astri huffed, sitting down in a chair that was placed in front of the glass.

Loki also took a seat on the bench that was in his cell, his eyes bore into Astri's as they both stared.

"Yes, well, for that I also feel no remorse," Loki said with a grin

"Yeah alright, you've become a terrible liar," Astri said

"And what of you? We reunite and you seem to have no intention of telling me about Aesir. Of how he won your affections so quickly in the markets." Loki seethed

Was he jealous? He couldn't possibly be...right?

"Did Thor tell you? Or are you going through my mind? I could've sworn I learned how to block others years ago." Astri asked

"Oh my dear brother didn't spill your secrets and you did successfully lock me out of your mind in your little teaching sessions with my mother years ago. Your mental walls are strong but there are chinks in your armor, especially when you sleep." Loki explained

"So you were in my mind as I slept...wow you've turned into a real creep, Loki." Astri poked

"Maybe I have but that's not why you're here," Loki said

"And why am I here?" Astri asked observing how sweat seemed to be gathering on his face rather quickly

"The Black Widow wants more information on me. Thor and that band of idiots want the Tesseract. And you've become their messenger because they think a familiar face I once found pretty will work on me." Loki said

"You think I'm pretty? How sweet, Loki." Astri smiled, she refused to let him get the best of her with that silver tongue of his. She knew his ploys, he'd try and insult her enough that she'd leave him alone.

"If you want to know, I am here for all those reasons but I'm also here for myself. Firstly, I want an apology about my nose, I spent a full 3 days not being able to use it to breathe. Secondly, I want you to call off this army I'm hearing about." Astri said

"You'll be leaving this room disappointed." Loki said, "I won't be giving you either."

"I figured you'd say something like that." Astri sighed "Let's talk about something else other than my desires."

Loki eyed her suspiciously, Astri could tell his mind was dancing, trying to figure out how to get her to stop whatever game she might have started.

"What do think the people of Midgard will think when you tear open their skies and rain an alien army down on them? Do you think they'll bow to you the way Asgard bows to your father?" She asked

"He's not my father," Loki mumbled, barely audible

"What was that? Speak up, that punch you gave me a year ago messed with my ears." She joked

"HE'S NOT MY FATHER!" Loki yelled, suddenly getting up and crossing his cage to stand in front of her

"Your rage is going to rip you apart," Astri said calmly, not flinching at Loki's outburst

"What I do with my rage should not concern you. The humans will bow to me by the time I am done laying waste to New York." Loki said oddly calm

"And then?" Astri asked

"And then I rule. As I was born to." He said

"What? Is that the glorious purpose you speak of?" She teased

"Yes. I will have my throne." He said harshly

Loki seemed very passionate about this throne he was owed. Astri knew it was due to years of being lied to and his life in Thor's shadow. Time for another subject change.

"Do you remember when we danced at the winter solstice? I had a blue dress on and you said I was stunning in it?" She asked

"I do," Loki said, unsure of where she was going

"I don't know what you were thinking then but do you want to know what was going through my mind?" Astri asked

She was met with silence as Loki held eye contact.

"I wished for the moment to never end." She admitted

"Is that supposed to convince me to tell you I'll stop my army and go back to Asgard with you?" Loki sneered

"No, it's not. I was just wondering if you ever wanted to make memories like that again. Even now when I think about it I feel more peaceful. Don't you wish for peace like that again?" She asked

"Silence is not peace, Astri." Loki pointed out

"I'm aware." She responded

Silence enveloped the pair as Astri's gaze fell to the floor. She could feel Loki's eyes on her. Her eyes shot up to the thing Natasha had said would allow everyone else to be able to see and hear them. Her hand glowed and the soft beeping from the device indicated she had disabled whatever it was. She stood, walking towards Loki who was still at the glass. Astri took a deep breath and focused. She stepped carefully through the glass, finally close to Loki.

"You're not truly here?" Loki asked reaching his hand out so it brushed hers

"No. I'm surprised you didn't notice earlier. I learned a new form of astral projection that can travel over longer distances and allow me to interact with objects around me." She explained, "I wasn't expecting to be able to get through the glass so easily though."

Loki didn't say anything as she rested her forehead on his chest and took his hand in hers.

"This doesn't change anything." Loki whispered "You should go. You took their equipment out, they'll be here soon."

"I know..." Astri sighed "Come home...come home to me, I swear to you we'll make everything right."

"I can't." Loki said, "I have duties here, and returning home would be bringing dishonor to you and my mother. I am an outcast, a monster, you said it yourself."

"You're not a monster, you're not, I never meant it." Astri said, raising her head to look at Loki again, " I don't care about dishonor or duties, I just care about you."

A loud bang on the door started Astri and Loki as they jumped apart. Astri's magic was swirling, holding the door shut as she heard angry shouts from Thor and the Midgardians.

"Tell me where the Tesseract is...I swear on my life you will go home without a mark on you." Astri begged

Loki's eyes looked at the door where sparks were flying, Tony Stark must be cutting the door down.

"You should take your leave, Astri." He advised stepping back, "I'll send you word once I have conquered this planet."

The sound of the door being kicked in had Astri's guard up. She made eye contact with Thor briefly before Stark's mechanic voice ordered her to step away from Loki.

"Loki, please..." She pleaded, tears escaping from her eyes.

The angry shout of Fury rang in her ears once more and she opened her eyes to find the ceiling of her chamber staring back at her She was home again, without Loki, and she felt emptier than ever.

"Don't you think the Rock of Ages looks a little upset?" Stark asked from outside of the cage, whatever technology he wore, he was able to use it to repair the camera without even stepping inside his cage.

"Astri and Loki have a special bond, they've always been very close. I can not imagine what she said to him with that device off, but I'm sure he is thinking deeply about it." His "brother" explained, looking at him

"By special bond you mean relationship? Because those two seemed head over heels for each other before she cut the camera." The spangled man said

"You all ought to stop speaking on matters you know nothing about," Loki interjected

His comment was ignored as the Midgardians and Thor left him alone once more. Loki couldn't still couldn't believe how ethereal Astri had looked when she spoke to him. Her new style of armor had glittered wonderfully when she passed through the glass that had separated them. With the golden accents she had chosen, Loki couldn't help but wonder if they were for him. Astri's hair was the same as Loki remembered, long and slightly wavy. His mind kept replaying his interaction with Astri. They hadn't seen each other in a year and one of the first things she did was call him a fool. Perhaps she was right, maybe he was a fool a fool who would prove his worth soon enough. Her opinion wouldn't matter once he had his throne.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆

Asgard 2012

"So it's over?" Astri asked

"Yes, Thor has Loki and the Tesseract. They plan to return shortly, the one who calls himself Iron Man is taking them to eat at a Midgardian place. I can summon you when the moment they return." Heimdall responded, "Although I do think Odin will want words with Loki first."

"Don't trouble yourself, I'll see Loki when I feel like it. If you could send Thor to me that would be appreciated." Astri said

"Of course, my lady." Heimdall nodded

"Thank you for everything, Heimdall." Astri smiled before mounting her horse and heading back to the castle.

She and Heimdall had just spent the last few hours together. Heimdall was watching Thor and Loki on Midgard and Astri listened to his explanations, awaiting some form of good news. The best news she had gotten was that Loki had been stopped and attacked by some green thing that called its self Hulk. Heimdall had described the scene and it ended with Loki incapacitated on the ground. Astri never wanted to meet the creature that could do that much damage to Loki who normally had a million backup plans and tricks up his sleeve to avoid such treatment.

A heavy-handed knock at her door pulled her from her thoughts.

"Special delivery." Thor's voice sang as he pushed the door open "Heimdall said you wanted to see me."

"Yes, I did. What is in your hand?" Astri asked looking at the brown paper bag that Thor was holding

"Oh, when we were done beating Loki up we went to this Midgardian food place. Stark called it Shawarma, it was so good I got some to bring back to you, and a wonderful drink that's a bit sour, Steve, he's the one in red and blue said it's called lemonade." Thor said handing her the still-warm bag.

They sat on Astri's balcony as Thor eagerly awaited Astri's opinion on the food and drink he had brought back.

"So what do you think?" Thor asked

"It's quite wonderful. I like the drink's sweetness." Astri said truthfully.

"Of course you do! I offered some to Loki but he got angry, started cursing at me, and then he called me fat so I had to put his muzzle back on." Thor sighed

"You put what on him?" Astri asked nearly choking on her food

" After we defeated him, he decided to mock Steve and wouldn't stop his rude comments so I put this on him," Thor explained pulling a silver muzzle from his belt.

"Oh." Astri smiled, at least he was still himself.

They sat in silence as Astri finished her food and sipped from the paper cup.

"Do you know what will happen to him?" Astri asked when she was done.

"No, I wish I did...Father will sentence him after the winter solstice has passed but I doubt his prospects are any good. I hope my Mother will be able to lessen whatever punishment is dealt out." Thor said

Astri slowly nodded, trying to absorb Thor's words.

"Do you ever wish you could just...go back in time and stop all the bad things from happening?" She asked

"All the time." Thor sighed

End of Part One

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mayfly-stampede · 11 months

Text

Vash’s decision

warnings: long post, spoiler Trigun Stampede episodes 3-12, Trigun Maximum chapter 10.

One of the most important differences in Trigun Stampede about Vash is his lack of…something although we still can see his characteristic sensitivity and empathy as in the manga.

Thanks to Sakura-Con 2023, we know that this series set before the city of July was lost, so Stampede Vash is more like a imperfect Vash and it was made more naive on purpose.

Naive? Vash has been always naive, in the manga and ´98 anime. He always thinks the best of humans…

Can he be more naive than that? How?

And that’s when it hit me: He is like an immature Vash. All of him, his emotions, his thoughts…even his hair.

We can see him nostalgic and there is sadness in his eyes.

It’s like he always goes back to the moment when he released Nai’s true intentions and thinks about that loop where he doesn’t want to do anything again his brother and the other plants being a plant himself…but he can’t go against human life either, which is Rem(his mother)’s teachings.

He is stuck in this for 150 years. Confused, alone, looking for answers while he is escaping from his brother, escaping from that past, escaping from that future that comes full speed to him and he begs it never arrives…

Because he is afraid too.

Afraid of loosing another dear one, afraid of his brother’s plans…and afraid of making a decision.

Even Roberto, Nebraska Father and also Nai asked which side is he on.

And his doubt is obvious through all the series, even more on episode 3, because he really doesn’t know yet…and it’s clear he doesn’t want to make a decision yet.

But when his hesitation involves Meryl and Roberto, he knows that he can’t delay the confrontation anymore.

BUT instead of choose a side, he tries to convence Nai. Expecting him to change his mind…

This reminds me Rollo’s death, when Vash is denying Wolfwood’s reasons to kill Rollo, letting us know that he is struggling with something inside him that he can’t explain himself either. In his anger he doesn’t try to understand Wolfwood’s point of view.

Even more, it is like he hasn’t consider the idea of others having a different way of thinking.

As a teenager who still wants everybody to fit in his beliefs.

In a moment, it’s almost like Vash is trying to force Wolfwood to change his beliefs. Instead of explain his ideas calmly as in Trigun Maximum chapter 10 where he at first is mad at Wolfwood killing the samurai but after a few moments he is not angry anymore. He is sad about his decision, but not angry.

This is similar to Knives, acting with no respect for Vash’s will, like in the manga.

And Stampede Vash doesn’t understand Knives’ reasons either. He doesn’t even try. He just know that they’re different from his own.

It is until Knives brings Vash back to his childhood, to a place where he doesn’t have to choose a side, that even in that situation a part of him still wonders about humans…

And that’s when he sees the answer deep inside himself, the answer that has been always there since the beginning and he didn’t want to see.

Because it doesn’t just mean he’s running towards his own path…but also running away from Knives too, who begs him to stay by his side.

At first, I thought he was is crying because he listens to Rem’s voice again thanking him to fight for her ideas and I felt this as a farewell

“Thanks for fighting for my beliefs…now, fight for YOURS”

but with that words, without doubts, he finally chooses a path for his own…away from Knives, his dear brother.

And when he is back, it is new birth to him indeed.

The change is clearly in ALL OF HIM: his hair, his color palette, his lack of hesitation at shooting his brother.

Because, as he explains himself: HE HAS MADE A DECISION.

And he is attacking with all he’s got: all his plant powers to stop Knives and all his Love and Peace towards humanity to protect them and being by their side even knowing that they could hunt him after all.

And yes, it can be a contradiction.

But now he accepts that.

He accepts that maybe they’re people who don’t want to be saved.

It really is an awakening.

He accepts that the world isn’t ideal and it’s not what he thought…and now he knows he can’t force Knives to change his mind. Because Knives chose his path more than 150 years ago just as he has done now and he can’t change that.

He realized Knives is just too different from himself…

Something that Knives still doesn’t want to accept.

And yes, maybe plants and humans can’t live together as Vash wants to.

But even knowing that, he is going to do his best to fight for it.

Because he is Vash The Stampede.

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sisterspooky1013 · 6 months

Text

Gaslight, Chapter 12/48

Rated X | Read it here on AO3

“Don’t forget, we have dinner with your parents tonight,” Diana says as she double checks the contents of her briefcase.

“Yep,” he confirms, then pops the last bite of his toast into his mouth.

“Are you feeling okay?” she asks, slipping her feet into her heels. “How’s your head?”

“A little sore, but I’m fine,” he answers.

“That’s good. I’ll see you tonight, then,” she says, kissing him quickly on the cheek and rushing out the door.

He hears the garage open, the rumble of the car’s engine starting up, and then it’s just him and Frenchie, and the quiet of the empty house.

“What do you think, Frenchie? Should we take a quick w-a-l-k?” he asks, and Frenchie’s tail begins to thump loudly against the floor. “Yeah? A walk sounds good?”

The dog stands abruptly, pacing back and forth behind his chair excitedly.

It’s a mild morning, chilly but with the promise of a warmer afternoon. He sets off with a brisk pace, hoping to get his heart pumping in lieu of an actual run, which he was advised to avoid for at least a few days. Frenchie trots happily beside him, her tongue lolling out the side of her smiling mouth.

He waves as he passes by familiar houses with familiar occupants, though he’s never learned their names. Lady-with-bowlcut and Short-shorts-guy are what he knows them by, but everyone knows Frenchie due to her tendency to go on adventures if the front door is left open when he runs the trash out to the bin.

“Morning,” he calls out with a wave, and Old-hunchback-man nods and raises his coffee cup in response.

They pass by a house he thinks of as The Children’s House, due to the lawn that is cluttered with ride-on toys and decrepit sports equipment. In the summer, joyful shrieks can be heard over the splashing of water from the back yard, and at Christmastime theirs is the house with the most lights. It makes him feel both happy and sad, The Children’s House, because it’s everything he hoped for and everything he doesn’t have. For himself, as a former child, and also as a person who had always imagined himself as a someday father, but never ended up walking that path.

As they near the driveway of The Children’s House, a small towheaded boy skitters down the pavement with bare feet, his eyes wide and zeroed in on Frenchie.

“Can I pet your dog?” the child asks hopefully, his hands held carefully behind his back as he waits for permission.

“Sure,” Jeff answers, signaling Frenchie to sit.

The boy runs his hand down her silky coat, smiling happily.

“Dogs like me,” the child declares, unashamed of his self-promotion.

“Aiden! Get back in the house!” a voice calls from inside the garage, and he looks up to see Mother-of-children standing in the open doorway, clutching her bathrobe closed.

He waves, and she bobs her head tersely, and the child gives Frenchie one last pat on the head and scrambles back inside. They finish their walk, each contemplative in the way that man and beast are, and then he dresses in khaki slacks and a white polo shirt before driving into Philly.

His office is a disaster. Books are strewn across the floor, intermingled with shards of splintered wood from the shelf that was lost in the scuffle. His first appointment isn’t until noon, which gives him a couple hours to get things back in order. He starts by picking up all the books and stacking them into the categories by which they’d formerly been organized.

The profession of therapist was never one he had in mind when he set out to study psychology. He’s always been fascinated by the human mind and corresponding behavior, and the links between what has happened to us and how we behave as a result. But sitting down in a room with a single person, unpacking their traumas and guiding them to a place of higher understanding that might allow them to overcome it, wasn’t exactly what he’d planned for. He stumbled into it, like so many things. And, as is often the case for people who are good at things that they don’t necessarily enjoy, it stuck.

He unearths a book from beneath a bust of Carl Jung and sits down, brushing his fingers over the raised letters on the cover. Parapsychology: The Controversial Science. It’s one he’s read many times, though not in several years. One that he and Diana used to discuss at length over coffee in his apartment in Alexandria. He wonders, not for the first time, how they’ve landed so incredibly off course from where they began. Two young professionals, both interested in strange and unexplainable phenomena, joining the FBI with the hope of being a part of finding the answers, but instead finding each other. Now, over a decade later, they are a lawyer and a therapist with a mortgage and a dog. A picture-perfect life, by all accounts. But not the one he’d imagined leading.

He sighs, standing and setting the book in a stack with others that fall outside the bounds of commonly accepted research. He finishes cleaning up the office, and by 11:45 all evidence of Mr. Porter’s tantrum is erased, save for the missing shelf. He checks his notes in preparation for his noon appointment, uses the bathroom, fills his water glass and restocks the tissues. He gets to work.

He dozes during the ninety minute drive to his parent’s house, feeling the strain of his injury after only a half-day of work. Diana listens to talk radio and clicks her fingernails impatiently on the steering wheel, sighing with relief when they pull into the long paved driveway of the Dutch Colonial house.

“We’re here, Jeff,” she says, patting the top of his thigh to rouse him.

They park, retrieve a bottle of wine and a loaf of focaccia from the back seat, and approach the front door. He lifts his hand to knock, but before he can make contact, the door swings open and reveals the worried face of his mother.

“Jeff,” she says haltingly, giving him a once over from head to foot. “How are you feeling?”

He glances at Diana with furrowed eyebrows. It wouldn’t be like her to inform his mother of his little encounter with Mr. Porter, but it’s clear that she’s worried about his well-being.

“I’m fine, Mom,” he says lightly, but the concerned pinch of her face doesn’t let up. “Can we come in?” he asks with a shy smile, and she steps aside to allow them entrance.

“I’m going to put these in the kitchen, Teena,” Diana informs her as she makes her way down the hall. “Is there anything I can help with for dinner?”

“No, thank you, Diana,” Teena replies blandly, still inspecting her son as though seeing him for the very first time.

“Are you okay, Mom?” he asks, touching her shoulder, and she jumps a little, regarding him with surprise.

“I’m fine, Jeff. Just fine. Let’s go have dinner.”

He follows her into the kitchen, where Diana is uncorking the wine. His father is standing at one end of the long counter, a pleased smile on his mouth.

“What’s the latest with the Spurious deal? Any movement in Baltimore?” Diana asks, setting out four glasses.

“Everything is going swimmingly,” his father replies. “Perfectly to plan.” He turns to look at his son and his smile broadens, deepening the wrinkles at the corner of his eyes. “Jeff! It’s wonderful to see you, son. How are you?”

“I’m good, Dad. Yourself?” he answers, offering his hand to shake.

“Nonsense, Jeff, give your father a hug,” his father insists, stepping past the proffered hand and extending his arms.

He smells like Old Spice and stale cigarettes, and the hug is brief and somewhat awkward.

“When did you become a hugger, Carl?” Diana asks teasingly, and Carl balks.

“A father should hug his son,” he says defensively.

“Dinner is ready,” Teena pipes in, her demeanor still standoffish and perturbed. “Carl, will you please cut the bread?”

“Of course, my dear. I’d be happy to,” Carl says jovially, and they file into the dining room, wine glasses in hand.

Teena has prepared meatloaf, mashed potatoes, peas and a green salad, and they discuss local and national politics while they eat. Diana and Carl have an easy, practiced banter, while Teena is quiet and sullen. He catches her watching him each time he looks her way, an apprehensive expression on her face, and thinks to himself that he’d like to get her alone later and try to find out what’s on her mind.

“Oh, did you tell Jeff about the foundation, dear?” Carl interjects, and Teena shifts uncomfortably in her seat.

“No, you go on ahead,” she says, pushing peas around her plate with her fork.

“Great news,” Carl says, beaming at him. “The Children’s Leukemia Foundation has established a grant in Samantha’s honor. It will be awarded annually to the family with the greatest need, and will cover the complete cost of treatment and housing. Isn’t that incredible?”

“Wow,” Jeff says, taken aback. “That’s amazing. I didn’t know that something like that was in the works.”

“Nor did we, son. It was a tremendous surprise. What a beautiful way to remember your sister,” Carl says. “They’re calling it the Samantha Ann Spender Hopes and Dreams Grant.”

Jeff nods, forcing a smile. He looks over at his mother and finds her staring vacantly at her water glass, her eyes shimmering.

“Dinner was delicious, Teena. I’m going to step outside for a smoke,” Carl says as he pushes his chair back and stands.

“I thought you were going to quit, Dad,” Jeff says sternly, and Carl brushes him off with the wave of a hand.

“I’m an old man, Jeff. Let me enjoy life’s little pleasures, eh?”

“I’ll join you, Carl,” Diana says, stacking her plate on top of Teena’s and taking them both to the kitchen. “My little pleasure is inhaling the second hand smoke.”

Alone at the table, he watches his mother until she lifts her head and pushes her mouth into a thin smile.

“That’s great, about the grant,” he says, and she nods. “Still hard to talk about, though, huh?”

“Yes,” she rasps, then takes a sip from her water. “I think it may always be difficult to talk about your sister.”

He stands from the table and lays a reassuring hand on her shoulder, then clears all the dishes and cutlery. In the kitchen, he’s rinsing plates and loading the dishwasher when the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end, and he has the distinct feeling he’s being watched. He flashes his eyes over to the window and finds Diana and his father standing side by side, her arms crossed over her chest and his hand holding a lit cigarette to his lips. Upon realizing that he sees them, Diana lifts one hand and waves, smiling. He waves back, but something in the back of his mind is sending him a warning signal that he doesn’t understand.

He’s grateful when Diana offers to drive home. Streetlights flash in bursts of red through his eyelids as he calls forth hazy memories of Samantha’s final days. Her pale, drawn skin, the dark hallows under her eyes, her dry, cracked lips. At twelve, he understood and yet also could not possibly understand what was happening. That his little sister would be gone forever, that there was to be no recovery, no coming back. For months after her death he dreamt of alternative explanations, of bright flashing lights and bad men taking her away. His parents finally sent him to a therapist in an attempt to help him understand the finality and the senselessness. Samantha was gone. Dead. Not lost, not missing. Never coming back.

They slump through the door at nearly midnight, and Diana hands him his blood pressure medication before she heads upstairs to get ready for bed. He swallows the pill and an entire glass of water, then takes Frenchie for a quick walk. By the time he crawls into bed, Diana is already snoring softly, but he finds himself tossing and turning, unable to succumb to sleep. When he finally drifts off, he has the dream again. The one where he is frozen in fear, and Samantha is calling for him, and there’s nothing he can do. He’s helpless, just like he was in reality, to help her.

It’s a truth he will seemingly never be able to recover from.

Tagging @today-in-fic ay

#the x files #x files fanfic #txf #dana scully #fox mulder #xf fanfic #x files #the x-files #xfiles

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