#my friend came over for an unexpected visit on saturday

[flusteredtuna]

YES, CHEF!

Carmen Berzzato“The Bear” x !fem! reader

Contains: ( 18+ Mature Only ) praise, first kiss, head, and x-men movie.

Words: 2k+

Summary: Carmen, a good friend, shows up unexpectedly at your door late at night. Tipsy. And things obviously take a turn as he sobers up and you learn the true nature of his visit. ( no under the influence… do not fret )

I used a scene from Netflix’s series ‘Good Girls’ season 4 episode 6, as a main plot point and used the begging dialogue. I won’t name the scene as to not spoil the show ( it’s not a big plot point and the fanfic does not spoil it either. ) you can watch the clip here.

This was written for a friend 💕 ( and i had to repost due to an error ) This is also the second fan-fiction I have ever completed, so enjoy.

It’s a relaxing Saturday evening in your quaint charming little apartment on the third floor. Warm lighting, antique cabinet, quilted blanket covering your lap, and a warm homemade mug of Earl Grey tea in your hand as you read your book.

knock. knock. KNOCK.

A heavy and lazy hand knocks on your landlord’s special white front door. It’s 10 p.m., who could be knocking on the door? You un-tuck yourself from your spot on the couch and with tea in hand, you head toward the door and open it.

It’s Carmen. You’ve been friends for about a year now, friends with feelings for half that time. You met through a mutual friend, one who works at his restaurant. The relationship between you two is close and has only gotten closer with having the same friend group. But even with the tension in the room during every group hangout, he’s never made a move. And neither have you. Maybe it’s because of his girlfriend. Who didn’t show up to game nights.

And yet here he is, making an unexpected visit to your apartment.

“This isn’t my house,” he says. He smells of beer and is definitely not sober. Both his arms hold his body up as he leans in your doorframe.

“Hey yourself…” your face is twisted with confusion. Carmy never came over, at least not by himself. “Are you…tipsy? Fried? any other word for not sober?” You try to figure him out enough to make him go away before it turns into something else.

He chuckles a bit, “Just a bit buzzed”.

“Why are you in my doorway, Carmen?” You lean against the open door.

“I was at the bar, with friends. Karaoke bar.” He huffs as he finishes his sentence which seems hard to get out of his mouth.

“I don’t even know who to feel sorry for there” you respond. A look of worry mixed in with your confusion.

You stare at each other for what feels like the longest five seconds of your life. His mouth hung open a little.

“I can’t be with her anymore” You wince at his words and your heart drops to your toes. Did he just say that? Has he told her?

“You should go home,” trying to prevent something from progressing.

“I don’t want to go home” he quickly responds

“Then you should go somewhere else” You grab the door leaning away, ready to close it on him. Although you don’t want to, you know you should.

“Can I uh- just please come in?” Starting to close the door he pushes back a bit “No, Carmy. Please trust me, just go home.” He places a firm hand on the door and abruptly says, “I think I’m gonna crap myself.”

You stop and look at him. It’s unbelievable that this is what made you stop. You swing the door open and do the same with your other arm, gesturing to him to enter. He walks in, and heads for the bathroom.

Setting your tea down you sit on the couch waiting for him to come back, you try to think of anything else other than the fact that Carmen is in your home. Possibly with the intention of cheating on his girlfriend with you. Attempting to stare at the patchy rug to find some sort of escape. The goal now was to just make sure he didn’t do anything crass.

He walks out of the bathroom and immediately slumps himself on the floor against the couch right next to you. “I wouldn’t go in there for at least 30 minutes.”

Raising your brows and giggling, “Feeling any better?”

Carmen doesn’t even look at you, he just looks straight on. “Not really.” He rubs his hands together.

“I broke up with Sarah.” He says quietly. Yet another string of words that makes your heart drop.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” You try to be reassuring but you’re not sure how to be in this situation. “Do you want to talk about it?” Carmen looks at you, his eyes glossy from his buzz.

“Nah.” You tilt your head at him and then look over at the TV, catching the slight reflection of your two figures lounging on the comfy yellow couch. “Do you want to watch something?”

Carmen’s nods face towards the black screen of the TV, and you reach for the remote to turn something on. “X-men?” you suggest as he gets up and sits on the other end of the couch. One person’s width away from you.

“X-Men it is.” He slurs his words a bit as he gestures to the TV with a hand and flops it back down in his lap. Turning on the movie, you make yourself comfortable by shifting your legs to bend and your feet resting on the middle cushion, pulling the blanket over you. Even with him sitting glued to the arm of the other end, you both are still somehow too close.

As the movie passes, the tension stands. Seeing each other glancing out of the corner of their eyes now and then doesn’t help. Finally, Carmey opens up a bit and starts to comment on the movie, “You know, I don’t know why they cast Evan Peters for this when he plays that other guy in that Wanda show. Fuckin’ stupid.” He sounds more like himself now, which eases the tension, making this situation a little more comfortable.

“Yeah I think there’s a theory about that,” You both continue to talk throughout the movie, he seems to sober up. It’s nice hanging out with him like this. Although the circumstances aren’t 100% preferred, you don’t seem to mind it anymore.

The movie ended with you both laughing at a conversation completely unrelated. Whatever it was it was something way more entertaining to both of you. So long of a conversation that the credits end. You both look over to the screen again. A prompt asking “How would you rate this film?”.

“Well, I guess it ended.” You chuckle a bit but look over at him, seemingly back in his head again. Maybe you shouldn’t have said that.

Now sitting up against the arm of the couch and crossing your legs, you feel like you should say something.

“You know the best wa-“ he interrupts you “I broke up with her so I could see you.”

Your eyes meet as he looks over to you, now sitting up a bit more. “Carmy I-“ interrupting you again “Y/N, I don’t want you to feel guilty or anything. I know this is a lot,” he puts a hand to his temple and starts to get a little more passionate in his speech. Almost defensive. “Shit. I just couldn’t see you without leaving and not feel fuckin’ guilty!” His hand gestures around as he speaks, like he’s in the kitchen talking to his staff.

“Carmen!” You try to steer the conversation away from him getting louder, “Why would you feel guilty?” You know the answer to that.

He rests a hand on his lap and his other on his temple again. Releasing a deep exhale, he looks at you. “Maybe I wanted to uh-,” he hesitates for a moment to look you up and down. “Feel something…else.”

You can feel the flush rushing to your cheeks so quickly after he says this. With wide eyes and raised brows, you try to pull out your best response, “Feel what? Pressed about…Marvel casting?”

He chuckles and moves a smidge towards you, putting a bent leg up on the couch, “No no no. no. Jesus. That, that’s ridiculous.” You smile a bit at his amusement, “Then what is it, Carmy?”

Rubbing his face and letting out another huff, he sounds like he’s holding back. And you aren’t sure if you want him to keep it bottled or release it.

Continuing to look at you with starry eyes, he rests an arm on the back of the couch. “Fuck. Look. I don’t want to be too forward and I definitely don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” You press your lips together in anticipation of what he’s about to say, “It’s something that I’ve felt for a while and I’ve been fucking ignoring it.” He pauses again and takes another huff, taking a look at the door. “I should just go.”

As he gets up you grab his wrist, stopping him dead in his tracks. “Carmy,” his eyes soften as he looks at you, “you don’t need to leave.”

As you let go of his wrist he sits next to you, closer. “It’s kind of obvious.” You chuckle a bit through your words. It is obvious. You’ve noticed this tension for a while now, he’s only just confirming it.

“What is? That I like you?” His tone is almost defensive like he was caught. A smile creeps on your face, “I mean…Marcus has noticed it too.” He raises his brows, surprised. “He said the tension is thicker than his dark chocolate mousse.” Carmen laughs at this, and so do you. It’s a sweet moment.

He pushes his hair back from falling more in his face, “I uh, I’m sorry I showed up like this.”

“If you mean showing up drunk at my door to use my bathroom and then sobering up while watching X-men with me…” You make it sound like a bigger deal than it is just to tease him.

“No yea, shit. I’m sorry I-”

“Then it’s more than fine.” Laughing again, like you are the only two people in the world. You both exchange a smile looking deeper into each other’s eyes.

“You’ve always had a nice laugh.” He says putting his arm back on the couch, and leaning in a bit.

“You do too.” It all feels like a dream. The fact that he’s here, making a move on you.

He brushes a strand of hair out of your face, so effortlessly, that you wish you could stay in that moment forever.

You look away for a moment, clearly a bit flustered, “Are you sure you aren’t still tipsy?” turning back you notice he’s gotten a little closer.

“I’m positive I’m sober.” He chuckles again.

You start to lean in a bit, not realizing that you have until your noses are about five inches apart from one another. His hand was still near your face, resting on the back of the couch beside you.

Looking at your lips he begins to say, “I uh. Just-”. He doesn’t even finish his thought. He’s too distracted by his lips on yours.

It was a soft kiss, one you’ve been waiting for, for the longest time. Pulling back you find his hand on your cheek caressing it. “You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that.” He says, with a breath of relief that the hard part was over.

Jaw dropped, you look at his mouth again. He catches this and charges at you for another kiss, this time more intense. You hold both of his cheeks in hopes of him staying put. He almost hovers over you as you both continue to make out.

Soft and quiet moans escape your mouth as he reaches down one of his hands to feel the sides of your arms. Then tracing back up to your cheek. He pulls back. Your lips burn with sensation.

“Carmen,” the words escape your mouth through heavy breathing, “are you sure this is okay.”

He puts a hand to your chin, “Yes.” he kisses your cheek. “I wanna take care of you.” Your brain swarms with ideas of what he could mean.

You smile in approval while taking his free hand and putting it to your breast. He smirks as he follows his hand and where it landed. “Then take care of me.”

With a firm squeeze, he touches you through your shirt, while he moves his face towards your neck and kisses it. He takes his time reaching under your shirt to explore you with more satisfaction.

Caressing your nipple with his pointer and his thumb, already making you weak. And he watches as your face curls in pleasure.

Carmen then lifts your shirt to sit just above your breasts and kisses the center, making his way over the hill of your other breast and biting the peak. It makes you gasp. He puts a hand under the curve of your other breast and messages it.

Your soft moans only make him want you more.

He moves away for a moment, and you open your eyes to watch him, “wha- what is it.” He smirks and lifts the blanket you’re under, just enough to reach his arm in to place a hand on the side of your thigh. Scooting closer he leans over you now slouched on the couch.

Suddenly you’re kissing again, passionately. He feels your thigh up and down gripping it, then moving to the inside. Parting your legs he reaches a hand up from the bottom of your shorts, under your panties to grab your hip. Like it’s his. Then firmly and slowly sliding it back out.

“Take… them off.” You whisper through kisses. Pulling away he smiles and looks at your drowsy eyes. Without saying anything he lifts the blanket further and now using both his hands he tugs on your waistband, taking away the sleep boxers you had been wearing.

Touching you again in that spot that’s so sensitive, he teases you. Denying the pleasure of having the fabric between you and his fingers, out of the way. Your moans continue, still soft, as he caresses you further. The intensity builds as your lips meet again.

Backing away, he lifts the blanket once more, but now going in head first. Your heart drops, you know exactly what he has in mind.

With his head between your thighs he kisses your soft spot, and then taking both his hands on either side of your drawers, he pulls them off revealing you.

Carmen uses his fingers to carefully open you up like a flower, kissing the bud. He’s so gentle that you do feel like you’re being taken care of.

But then you suddenly feel another sensation. His tongue is on you. Swirling around. It makes you moan louder as your back arches. Ribs reaching for the sky. You grab onto the couch to try and ground yourself, but it doesn’t help much.

“You’re so wet for me.” He feasts upon you and now takes two of his fingers and plays with your entrance, spreading your wetness around like butter on a hot skillet. His free arm is wrapped around your thigh, holding on tight to keep you steady.

As he tastes you more and more. The finest dish. You lift your end of the blanket with the small strength you have and watch his head back away from your clit to look at you as he puts two fingers inside you. He starts to push them in and out of you and you throw your head back moaning in absolute hot delight.

“Look at me.” His demand is so dominating. Again, sounding like he’s in the kitchen.

“Make me.” You say through a heavy moan. He pulls his fingers out making you gasp grabbing your chin and pulling your face down to meet his eyes. “Yes, Chef”. He chuckles a bit, letting you get away with that one. You knew he might be thinking about that during his next shift.

You watch as he goes back down, shoving his fingers back inside. Gripping the couch once again louder moans escape your mouth. Picking up his pace you can feel him hitting your walls in the best way. “Fuck, Carmy…” You manage to moan out.

The closer you get the more you surrender to his pace as it gets faster. Your body clenches around him, making it tighter and tighter for him. “Cum for me.”

You nod your head rapidly as you’re too stimulated by the pleasure. Your back arches even further and you become stiff in your position as he hits the spot so perfectly. This is what you’ve been waiting for. The peak of your gratification inches closer and closer.

Finally…you gasp in ecstasy, his fingers still inside you pounding. “That’s it.” He whispers moving away from eating you out, to just using his fingers. Watching you as you finish on them.

Carmen pulls his fingers out slowly, watching your overstimulated body heave heavy breaths. He scoots your legs to the side to lie beside you on the couch. Between catching up with your lungs you manage to speak. “Carmen, you…” You take a clarifying breath as he props himself up on his arm, looking at you as he lays beside you. “You’re really good at that.”

He chuckles, “Of course I am, I eat for a living.” He tucks your hair away behind your ear, and you both take a moment to be present as your tummy buzzes with butterflies.

#carmen berzatto x reader #the bear fanfiction #carmen x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto imagine #carmen berzatto fic #carmen berzatto fluff #carmen berzatto smut #carmen berzatto x fem!reader #carmen berzatto fanfic

[ja-stuff]

Resolution part from the series: Mentioning their ex in front of s/o during argument

Note: Hi! Made this just today, and I hope you enjoy this one! Please donate or tip me in Ko-fi! Wordcount: 2,272 Character: Ryugi "Draken" Ken TW: mild cursing, an unhealthy Draken (╯_╰) Genre: angst-fluff

A week has passed since your one-sided “break-up” with Draken. You have been a little off the whole week, trying to get back to your usual routines before you met Draken and while you’re at it you were also cursing at him, disappointed with how he hasn’t made any efforts trying to woo you after that day. It’s as if after saying those words of apologies from that moment were just empty words and were never meant for you. Like he lied when he said he needs you.

Guess I was right? Maybe he really doesn’t need me… You thought. 

“So what now? We have been sharing a lot of things for a week now. Mind moving out?” your friend joked while eating a bag of cheetos on the bed, blankly staring at you. You have been crashing in their place since the argument happened, and you admit that you kinda feel shy about being a nuisance. “I don’t know… hm… Actually I thought of sharing the rent with you.” you joked, this made your friend throw a pillow at you which you caught easily. “Geez, how am I supposed to enjoy steamy nights knowing my best friend is in the living room.” your friend rolled her eyes and kept staring at you.

“But kidding aside, F/n, I was thinking–you know… Like, get my remaining stuff over the house.” you casually said, scrolling your phone, looking for a new apartment. “What do you think about this place?” you stood up and sat beside your friend, they were swiping over a few of the photos, before giving your phone back.

“That’s actually quite nice! Should we visit the agent who had posted it tomorrow?” You nodded. You plopped down the bed and decided to scroll for more, while your friend started to speak of things to do when you rent the place she approves of. 

You were lost in thoughts with scenes from that day repeating again in your mind, not realizing that you have only been scrolling and not really browsing what is seen on your phone. The idea of going back to your shared house with Draken and having to meet him also came across your mind, and that made you sit back. Startling your friend.

“Tomorrow’s a Saturday right?” you blurted, interrupting your friend from talking. “Uh yeah? So, I was saying that we should have beige wallpaper and–”

“I have to avoid bumping into him if I want to get a few of my stuff… or should I just leave it there? But I have a few shirts there that I like– also I left the necklace from my dad there…” you started talking to yourself, face serious as you rack your brain on how to slide in the house without having to bump into Draken. You know that Saturday is when Draken’s shop is at its peak with customers for bike repairs, and this is the only chance you see fit to your plan of not seeing him while grabbing your remaining things from the place. So you decided, it will be the perfect day. Saturday, after noon. Perfect.

Or not…

It is now Saturday, and your plan of a hundred percent of not bumping into him just went zero. He is here… Shit. You cursed in your mind as you heard the front door of the shared house open.

You were hurrying to stuff all your things inside the luggage that your friend had lent you, panicking as you heard footsteps hurriedly roaming around the house. You stiffened when the door opened, and there went Draken. Panting at the bedroom entrance.

He can’t believe his eyes as he looks at your back that was facing him. “Y/n?” voice a little shaky as he tries to regain composure. “Y–you’re back.” he said, closing the door behind him and walking towards you. Your heart started to pound hearing his footsteps coming near with each passing second. Still alarmed from the unexpected situation that you hadn't predicted, you decided to ignore his presence and continued to fill the luggage since you were not prepared for any confrontation. The only plan you had was, sneak in, grab stuff, put it in the luggage, zip, and flee from the place.

Yet, so far only the luggage thing has been completed from the plan, not even close to filling it up, meaning you’re not even halfway through your agenda. “Y/n? I–” he called once more, trying to gain your attention but stopped with a few more words when he saw you packing your stuff in a luggage.

“W–where?” Draken felt a lump in his  throat once more, as he tried to comprehend this matter in front of him right now. 

“Where to…? L–leaving?” forming a sentence seems to be impossible for him right now, with an answer so obvious in front of him, he still wishes to hear your voice that you aren’t leaving, but you still ignored him by making yourself think of other things, as his broken voice continuously touched your hurt feelings that somehow seeked comfort from him for a week (in which he never did).

“L–leaving me?” he repeated this time a few hiccups escaped his mouth, he sounded so vulnerable and that made you look back at him. You were taken aback when you saw his face. 

Eyes appeared to be puffy red with dark bags, disheveled locks, his face so thin as if he did not eat the whole week, and his lips a little chapped from the lack of hydration. The sight of a destroyed Draken in front of you broke you as you saw clear evidence that he wasn’t doing great all this time. Yet, here you are thinking that he hasn’t been thinking of you, that he didn’t care after you parted ways after the argument, and believing that he didn’t need you, made you sink in guilt. How could you think of that after seeing Draken in a state where he seemed so lost?

“Oh my–” you walked to his standing form, cupped his face and held his wrist with your other hand, pulling him to you a little closer to examine him. “What– Draken are you out of your mind? How could you not take care–” 

“Are y–you leaving me– hnn?” As the words left his lips, a few stray tears fell from his eyes. At this point you just stared at him, as he sobbed harder and harder. Watching him as he broke himself in front of you leaves you really guilty, when you know you also shouldn’t be since you know he was also at fault before you both got into this situation. But just as much as you wanted to keep your facade of being less affected, you just don’t have the courage to continue, so you hugged him first and felt relieved when he reciprocated the hug ten times stronger than yours. You gently rubbed his back in hopes that somehow it would calm him.

“Shh. Draken, I– I was–” you don’t know what to say at this point when Draken kept on sobbing on the crook of your neck, your hands on his back not stopping to comfort him more. You haven’t seen him this broken, aside from last week’s event, you believed this was the worst. Yet, you wouldn’t say sorry, not because of your pride but because you did nothing wrong, or;

Did I really do nothing wrong? You asked yourself.

“I– I swear, I didn’t mean anything of what I d–did before… I am s–sorry, that I–I made you leave me… I– I only w–want you, I need y–you, Y/n! Please? I w–wanted t–to explain everything before y–you left… I tried to reach y–you but I feel so ashamed to talk to y–you… I didn’t mean to hurt you… I am so dumb! Dumb! Dumb– I hurt you, I’m so stupid-” choking with his own sobs, he tried to voice himself out to you, trying to make you listen to him, as his words come out incomplete with context, busy trying to get through his mind about where he should be starting, whether he should start from the stupid remarks from one of the business partners he had mentioned, or should he just continue to apologize and beg you to stay with him, or just cry in front of you to make you feel that he regrets everything.

“I am sorry– so, so sorry, my love.” he said, whispering against your ear, strength slowly leaving his knees, making you both fall on the floor. “I’m sorry…” endlessly asking for your forgiveness as you continued to comfort him, up to the moment when he just stopped. You took that as your cue to talk, but Draken still beat you to it.

“I am at fault babe… I promise it’s all on me. I made you decide to leave–”

“Love, I am also at fault–”

“No. I am. If only I hadn’t listened to that stupid comment from the business partner I met last time, I wouldn’t be making that mistake. I–I know, it’s so stupid of me, to just voice out my thoughts and i–indirectly trying to make you do what she did to me before– but, none of it really made me happy.” Draken cut you off, and started to talk after he found his composure from your comforting. His voice is shaky, but he still refused to let go of the hug you’re both in. He made sure to word everything out, a little afraid that he’d make a mess as he began his explanation to you. You just sat there quietly, and let him continue with his words.

“It’s as if– as if, I was unconsciously aware of what I–I’m trying to make you, but I didn’t stop, because I just wanted to prove to them that you could also be like the Emma they knew, who was showy and all– but then I realized after the fight–” Once more, Draken felt the lump on his throat coming back as he hold back his tears, his hug tightening around you, scared that he’s saying something that you don’t like from his statements.

“I know… I know that I fucked up… And I’m so fucking stupid that I turned a blind eye towards my action, that I closed my eyes whenever I see that you’re not happy with what I was saying and with the way how I made you obey me… but I remembered how different you were, and that’s why I chose you– that I am loving you… That I am loving y/n, that I am seeing y/n, that I– oh God, please help me…  I just can’t bear to live one more day without you…” Draken whined and cried on your neck  like a threatened child that someone will take away something dear to him.

“I–I’m so stupid for projecting into you the exact words that business partner had said, and now I–I suffer, Y/n… Tell me what to do… I don’t want you to leave–” this time, Draken gathered all his courage to pull away from the hug, and stared at your glassy eyes. “No, why are you cryi–”

“How stupid!” you wailed, Draken was taken aback with your mini outburst as your tears fell in sync. “You’re so stupid, Ken-ken!” you hit his chest lightly. “I’m s–sorry!” you blurted and hugged him tight.

“I don’t want to leave you either! And I don’t plan on doing so! You’re so stupid, and so am I!” you continued.

“I should’ve let you explain things first from back then! I know you have your reasons, but I was too hurt to even listen, and that’s stupid of me!” you pulled away and stared at him. “I forgive you, my love! I love you so much but– I’m still sad and you’re so stupid!” 

Draken froze from the words he heard, Y/n… Y/n said, `they love me? He looked at you trying to ask if he had heard it right. “Yes! I love you and I won’t leave you, but I’m still mad at you!” you repeated, pouting in front of him as you wiped your tears with the sleeves of your hoodie.

“You– you mean it?” you nod, and cupped his face. “I’m sorry my love. How have you been doing?” you asked, voice full of concern as you cupped his face, feeling his thin face once again.

“I wasn’t doing good, I fucking missed you so much…” Draken closed his eyes as he held your hand that was on his face. “How am I supposed to eat well, when I know that you are overthinking about what happened, that you’re mad at me, I can’t eat, and sleep when I think that you are not doing well by yourself, that you may not be able to get up from bed from the emotional and mental pain you are deal–” 

“Enough, love. I am sorry.” you smiled at him feeling at ease that even if he had neglected himself, you’re happy to hear that you’re the reason he was like this, just as much he was also your reason from the breakdowns you had in that one week.

“Can– can I kiss you?” you just nodded, and he took this signal to land his lips on yours which lasted half a minute before pulling away. 

“I love you so much, darling.” he whispered, and kissed your forehead.

“I love you just as much.” 

“I’ll do better, and make no mistakes this time.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[lifewithoutmeds]

February 26, 2024

feeling better, in general, about things, thankfully.

quick ... month's recap: Monday, February 5th: went to visit caroline in the hospital. also met up with grace, her husband, and patrick. grace brought delicious burritos from sonoratown and we chatted with caroline as if things were normal despite the fact that she had had a seizure, was hospitalized, and more recently, we learned that she had a large brain tumor that would likely need removing. i teared up seeing her in the hospital bed, in the hospital gown, but i eventually was able to stop. Tuesday, February 6th: Lorena swung by on the way to work and we chatted and caught up a bit. Later that day i went to a 6:30 showing of Poor Things at the local theater which i didn't love, but am still glad i saw, just to see. Wednesday, February 7th: In the office. It says ... lunch with Lana. what did we eat? Hmm, strangely no idea.

Friday, February 9th: Doctor's appointment, dinner with Lana, as she swung by with fish king poke and salads and we ate a nice healthy protein-filled dinner. then we ubered to Hot Goss in ... Cypress? and we watched Sophie Santos again and some other queer or allied stand up comedians, and it was great. i a bit avoided sophie as i had recently learned that she was in a serious relationship with a very reputable and older director, and so i wanted to stay out of the way, out of respect.

Saturday, February 10th: Matt K came over with some e-waste and we dropped it off in sunland, then went to Barcade to meet up with his friends, and then i rushed home to sprint out again for a speed dating event downtown. traffic and parking was horrible, but i met up with steph, met some nice people, and then we kinda went to town, eating at sushi gen, and then winding up at Eighty-Two, drinking too much, and making a new friend, who in retrospect I don't think i care to keep in touch with. Sunday, February 11th: No church as I was just too tired to do anything. Probably did nothing the whole day and regretted how a few hours of fun at night did not equate the entire waste of the subsequent day. Monday, February 12th: worked from home, then went to CVS to pick up photos of Rafa for grace's surprise visit. Wednesday, February 14th: In office.

Thursday, February 15th to Tuesday, February 20th: a whirlwind of airbnb's, hotels, meeting up with grace, her family, and her friends, antoinette, her family, and her friends. lugging a heavy duffel bag everywhere, taking endless subways and buses, taking my heavy jacket on and off, sweating, then shivering. there was some fun, but more crying, which i'm a bit too tired to get into at the moment and which i've rehashed enough to kind of be over talking about for now. i also watched three episodes of The Curse, and decided to watch it once i got home, even though it meant subscribing to the Paramount Plus channel. Wednesday, February 21st: In office Thursday, February 22nd: Dr. Sobhani appointment at lunch and Kelda afterwork. Dr. Sobhani was rather pleased at my progress so we pushed our next appointment out further than usual. i also felt some progress with kelda and i was calmer than usual, which was nice.

Saturday, February 24th: Just slept, for hours and hours. i think my mom briefly came over with some bread/pastries, and i ate it, chatted a bit, then went back to sleep. i felt a bit bad that i wasn't productive and didn't check off anything on my list, but i also felt that i really needed rest, and that my past week had been super draining and i kind of enjoyed just lounging about, knowing i had no real responsibilities, and zoning out to meaningless things on youtube.

sunday (yesterday), i didn't end up going to church, but a bit at the last minute, hung out with tracy, who is still reeling from the unexpected passing of her mom. she picked me up as i've been having car trouble, we went to Gap outlet in burbank so she could return something, meandered about the mall, did a brief hike nearby, and then got some sugarcane drinks and wandered a bit before she dropped me back off. it was weirdly ... like comfortable, and not stressful. it was ... easy. i think there are so few people i can be like that with. lana. maybe nida. and i guess her, which is weird because we've known each other for just under a year but somehow we're pretty similar and/or she's just so empathetic that she gets me regardless of how different we are. i also watched In the Mood for Love at the local theater at 7 and was struck by how much i still enjoyed it, and how it dragged less than i remembered, how effective the music was, and how gorgeous maggie leung was. new crush. although now she must be in her 50's or 60's.

today is monday, February 26th, and it's been a productive day of dishes, work, dropping my car off at the mechanic's, getting picked up by my mom, and treating her to pho. i just agreed to get dinner with Patti even though i subsequently remembered that i don't have a car, but I do have uber, so i'll just get driven over.

i'm feeling weirdly ... calm. is it the drugs? am i getting exhausted with the sadness? within a week the Sophie storm that had raged through me just as suddenly calmed down. this morning i took a brief walk in the morning as the sun rose, and i think even made my bed almost as soon as i woke up. i've been weighing myself daily and committing to losing a healthy and hopefully attainable 1 pound a week. i bought some apples and i ate one yesterday and one today. i'm trying to get in 1-2 servings of fruit/vegetables a day, and average 10,000 steps/day/week. i walked close to 20,000 steps yesterday, but today was significantly less, partly due to taking my car in during my lunch, and partly due to some random rain that prevented me from going after work.

but in general i feel more calm, less frenzied. i'm journaling, as can be seen, and i watched 1-2 episodes of The Curse each night until i finished it. i read a bit yesterday too and think that i might be able to finish this book by the end of the month, which would be fantastic as I started this in August or September and i've been having so much trouble reading, and just focusing on anything but my own misery in general.

although i'm almost always focused "on myself," i'm trying to just be mindful and intentional with how i spend my time, with my diet, my exercise. i'm trying to decrease screen time, see more shows, and experience things outside of my head, and outside of my condo. i've eaten at a bunch more restaurants and bars so far, so think i'm okay with that aspect, but am thinking now that instead of a bar/week, maybe i could switch it out occasionally with a coffee shop/weekend, and i'll sip some coffee and read a book for 30 minutes or so. and just be. that might be nice.

i'm also cleaning more, and noticing that there are things that could use a deeper cleaning. my flatware. the little dirt trapped around my windows that make it harder to open and close. my laptop. just finding little projects around the condo that make me feel mildly productive but also maddeningly dull.

and i'm remembering .... that i'm feeling more like a former version of myself, but one that i don't find so despicable. yes, i kind of just endlessly scroll for things i might like to buy at REI and random camping goods that once i purchase, i immediately forget, but i'm also enjoying movies again, i'm tracking things, which i weirdly like doing. i'm watching minimalism and frugal living videos instead of police body cameras. i also feel like i'm a bit funnier, a bit lighter, a bit more appreciative.

i'm hoping i'm on a bit of an upswing and this isn't just the minor blip before the inevitable fall. i want to be more disciplined, and feel like the central character in a story, in my story. i don't want to feel ashamed of the way i look, and want to be in a body that i'm proud of, and in clothes that i think flatter me. i want to make sure i get regular haircuts and massages and exercise and just ... all of the things. i want to feel and be healthier.

i think i'm doing a bit of a better job in trying to clean things up in my condo. i got rid of a few bags of e-waste, like jadai's old vacuum and my robot vacuum, some wires, batteries, etc., just things i've wanted to get rid of for a long time. i took some stuff over to goodwill, and to the animal shelter. there's a lot that i've left undone, that i just .... lost the motivation and lacked the wherewithal to address, but i can feel myself gradually starting to care again, noticing things that need repair and/or attention. like getting rid of the old line in my fishing rods, and giving them a rinse as they haven't been used since last june. steven t has been reaching out and updating me on his kids, and wanting me to spend more time with them. grace k's family apparently has lice right now, so can't be socialized with, but once they are, i'd like to see them too. i'm just .... feeling things other than negativity, which is such a relief.

[maintainingidentity]

6/21/23-6/24/23

Hi! It has been a busy week after I got better from my migraine and the unexpected nausea I dealt with earlier this week. I spent the week trying to get through more work to be prepared for August.

Wednesday was a bit brutal. I spent all day cleaning, working, pumping, and caring for the baby or my foster child. I love caring for both of them, but I had only an hour of not actually doing something but was passively providing emotional and mental support for my husband, so I was exhausted by the end of it. y foster child's worker also came for a visit, and they have a new worker. So that visit took longer than usual and I spent the day emailing information to the worker for an updated file. I didn't feel like myself at all, I was drained mentally, physically, and emotionally. By far, Wednesday was a huge reminder of why I started this blog. I didn't do anything fun or that resembled a hobby, I simply existed for others. I did talk to my husband about everything at the end of the day before bed to express how hopeless I felt and how I didn't feel like a person. He was attentive and supportive, giving me time on Thursday to decompress. I'm thankful for a loving partner.

I also had my baby's one-month appointment on Thursday, so that was a rough day. She got her heal pricked again and had her second Hepatitis B shot. She thankfully didn't run a fever, but my poor girl was almost inconsolable afterward and required to be held all day. So, I did my best to comfort while also keeping up my work and pumping. We did find out midday that the birthday party for Saturday our foster child was invited to required needed a waiver signed and my husband and I can't sign safety waivers. We were told that it was getting resolved and we'd hear back. I wasn't feeling very hopeful though.

Friday was alright, we went to the chiropractor and spent some time with my family in the morning. In the afternoon I was able to pump and clean. I didn't get any work done, but the evening ended with us going to the park with our friends and us all eating dinner together and the kids playing. That part was nice.

And now it's Saturday. My family is coming over for a wee bit in the early afternoon. I've pumped some, about to get lunch ready for our foster child, feed the baby, and pump again. I've started laundry. We finally heard back about the waiver for the party tonight (after my husband prompted a response) and sadly I was right to not have hope. No one could decide on who got to sign it and our foster child can't go. Cue me crying out of anger and sadness. We are now trying to turn the day around and figure out a way to tell our foster child. I have some friends coming to surprise them and we're thinking that we are going to do a family evening at the park during the time the party was supposed to be. We don't think that this will fix it, but maybe it will bring some joy to the evening.

I'm mostly very thankful to have friends who love us and our foster child enough to drop their Saturday plans to see him. They don't have any kids, but they are amazing people. In a previous post, I got so hung up on having family be a village. Friends can be a village too and this was my reminder that I do have one--an amazing one filled with love and care.

Family (or a village) is just people who love and care for each other. Blood isn't needed. I hope that you have a village of some sort and that if you don't you can build one. Having people who love you and your kids unconditionally is invaluable.

Until next time, I'm sending love your way!

#new mom #motherhood #mom life #momlife #fostercare #foster care #newborn

[turtle-go-brrrr]

Hi, may I please request the bayverse turtles x male reader who likes to wear women’s clothes like skirts and dresses, but because of fear of judgment, he only wears them at home, but then the boys come over to visit one night and see him wearing a dress, and at first the reader almost panics and has a mini heart attack, but then comfort ensues?

My first request 🥺

I was gonna stick to headcanons at first, but I just love this prompt so much! Thank you for requesting ^^ I hope you like it! (Took some IRL experiences from my best friend because he's amazing and wear dresses like a champ uwu)

Handsome

Male! Reader

Requested: Yes

Pairing: None, platonic

Word count: 1090

Triggers: none

Summary: You found the prettiest dress last week and have yet to try it on. You know you look good, but an unexpected visit still makes you doubt yourself.

_____________________________________________________________

You were looking hella fine on this late Saturday evenning.

The dress you found is pretty simple, actually. With short sleeves, a defined waist, falling right above your knees. Kind of a vintage style, but the modern patterns really caught your eye. And when you tried it on? You fell in love. You almost didn’t regret that shopping spree April dragged you on.

But here you were, your cool ass dress on, sitting on your couch waiting for the ordered food to come in. You didn’t actually got out with more feminine clothes on for… well, for obvious reasons, shall we say. But chilling in your own home? Why stop yourself?

The food came in quick, and after tipping the delivery guy, you flopped down on your couch once again, putting on the latest show you promised you were going to watch. You put your food on your lap, drolling at the smell, and started the first episode.

Not even five minutes in, you heard a knock. You pressed pause and checked the door, thinking the delivery guy might have forgotten something. But you hear the knock again, and it comes from your window. And you know exactly who it is.

Oops.

Well, turns out your favorite mutants decided to pay you an unnanounced visit tonight. You scambled around your living room, not knowing if you should tell them to wait while you changed, or if you should open anyway.

They’re your friends. They’re not gonna judge you, dumbass. Just trust them.

Apparently, your late response made them think you were in danger. And apparently, that meant they were going to force your window. Sweet. Your window flew open after a few suspicious clicking sounds, and four very big, very mutated turtles fell right after the other in your living room. Michelangelo was the first to recover and get right back on his feet.

“Dude, are you okay? Why did it take so long?” He said, panicked. He looked at your flustered face, then dragged his eyes up and down shamelessely and stopped.

“What’s that smell ? Did you order without us?” He asked sadly before being shoved aside by Leonardo who took you by the shoulders, inspecting you as if you just got ran over by a truck, Donatello following close behind with his goggles in front of his eyes.

“You’re all being ridiculous, you know that?” You try your best to hide your embarassment, but you’re doing a terrible job. And they can all see it. You wait for the laughs, or the snide comments, even the disapointed tooks on their faces, but after a very uncomfortable silence you hear Raphael speak up.

“Cool dress. You never told us you could look this fine.” He smirks, and for once, he’s not being sarcastic.

“I- uuuh... What?”

“Yeah, c’mon bro. You know we love human fashion. Why do you think we’re always nagging April to show off her best outfits?”

“Mikey, leave him alone. And you should leave April alone, too.”

“But dude, look at him! He’s so handsome in that dress, it’s a crime not to show it off!” Mikey throws his hands in the air in defeat as Leo passes next to you, inspecting the other rooms of your appartment for any sign of danger.

“No one’s there except you guys, Leo. Also, did you break my window? Because I’m not paying for that.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I’m sure Donnie can fix -” The resident genius interrupts him with a slap behing the head.

Leo comes back, apparently satisfied with his search, and looks right at you. “Why were you so nervous when we came in if you aren’t in any danger?” You swear his super power is asking just the right questions.

You hesitate. They’re your friends. They trust you, and you know you can trust them.

But being vulnerable isn’t easy.

“Well, um…” You take a deep breath. “Okay, how do I put this ?” You can’t stop fidgeting with your hands. Openning up to your friends was harder than it looked like. “I was, uh, scared ? That you’d judge me. You know, for being a guy in a dress and all ?” Your voice is a lot softer than you’d like, and you can hear it crack. Damn you.

They all stare at you, obvious surprise on their faces. And you feel the heat creeping up your neck ana a cold sweat falling down your spine. Your nerves weren’t in your favor tonight.

“Huh?” You think it comes from Mikey. “Why would we judge you for wering a dress? You rock it, man.” Leo puts a hand on your shoulder and gives it an affectionate squeeze in silent support.

“Hey, as long as you don’t wear crocs like Fearless over here, we’re ain’t gonna judge you, bud.” You’ve never seen Raph look at you so softly before, but it quickly washes away by the side smirk he gives you just before saying : “Besides, you’re hot as hell, man. I’m not complaining.”

Leo groans, Donnie laughs, and Mikey shoves your shoulder playfully.

You laugh too, intense relief washing over you as your anxiety comes down, but you have to ask.

“You don’t think it makes me… Like, less manly or something ?” This time, you intentionally show your concern. You know they don’t but you need to hear it from them.

Raph ruffles your hair and passes an arm around your shoulders, directing you to the couch. “If anything, I’d say it makes you more manly. You wear what you wear and look good doin’ it. It’s all about confidence.” You cling to his arm, the biggest smile on your face.

“Y/N, I studied quantum physics, astrophysics, rocket science, number theory and so much more, and I can now understand all of those concepts perfectly. But gender? What the fuck were you guys thinking when you created those? And why give one to a piece of cloth?” Donnie gives you a playful wink as he takes his – your – place on the couch.

“You sharin’?” Mikey motions at the food on the table, and you give him a fork. You all take place in front of the TV, getting comfortable and you start the episode again.

You almost want to cry. You know they wouldn’t judge you for that either.

#tmnt x reader #bayverse tmnt #tmnt leonardo #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt donatello #tmnt raphael #hell yeah a male reader for that one!!! #i hope you liked it dude #i had a lot of fun writing it #also remember in the 2014 movie? they all wore skirts kinda #so like theyd be the last ones to judge a man in a dress #ALSO i really dont think they follow human genders #but thats a personal headcanon of mine uwu

[danielxricciardo]

Winner

Summary: You met Pierre at the Brazilian Grand Prix and for 3 months you couldn't get in touch.

Warnings: fluff, like 2 swear words

Word count: 2.3k

This one was requested by @jugasly and I know it is not exactly what she wanted but I really tried and I hope you liked it!

Avenida Paulista's Boulevard catches the eye especially through the skyscrapers similar to those in the big North American cities. Brazil's most modern city has much to offer tourists around the world. The most beautiful museums in South America can be found here, the shore is furrowed with lots of sunny beaches. And its nightlife has attracted many tourists.

The largest city in South America makes New York look small. The buses make an unbearable noise and black smoke spreads over the upper floors of the skyscrapers which, through the heat that maintains it during the day, turn the city into a real hell.

I felt myself waking up but I was determined to keep my eyes closed for a little longer but in a few seconds I was awakened violently by the sound of car engines. That's what I deserve for booking the hotel next to the Formula 1 circuit.

You reluctantly got out of bed and went to the window. I saw how the Formula 1 cars are brought on the circuit and I look at my watch. Fuck, it was pre-qualification practice, did I really sleep that much? Honestly, I arrived in the room at 5 o'clock and at 6 I fell asleep so I shouldn't have been so surprised that I slept in.

I was in Brazil with my two best friends to watch a Formula 1 race live and we chose Brazil because we needed a good reason to leave Europe and visit South America for a week, right?

I woke up my friends and in less than half an hour we were leaving the hotel, running, with a big cup of coffee in our hand.

We passed quickly through the front gate, all we needed now was to find our seats.

All around us could be heard the cars speeding on the circuit. My skin was goosebumps and I was looking at my friends who had the same smile on their faces that I think I had.

We find our seats and watch the last 15 minutes of training. We held in our hands the tickets that gave us access to the paddock. We were going to go there after the drivers returned to the garages.

My eyes were searching for Aston Martin Hospitality. I knew that if I returned home from this Grand Prix without an autograph from Sebastian Vettel for my father, I could very well stay in Brazil for the rest of my life.

Being so focused on looking for the green building, I didn't realize that someone was coming in front of me only when I hit a hard chest. I heard my girlfriends gasping. Fuck, I just hope I didn't run into Toto Wolff.

I open my eyes slightly and see a driver's suit, white and blue. Alpha Tauri?

I look up at the driver's face. To be damned. Pierre Gasly. With ruffled hair and a red face, Pierre Gasly was in front of me.

"I'm really, really sorry, I didn't look where I was going. Sorry!" I say and take a step back, stepping out of his personal space.

As I walked away from him, I saw that he was not alone but with Pyry.

"It's okay, I wasn't looking where I was going either," he says, running his hand through his hair, trying to fix it.

I smile at them and then I look at my friends giggling at our embarrassing date.

Pyry motions to Pierre to someone behind me and that makes him take his eyes off me.

"Oh, I have to go," he tells me. "Have fun."

I stood still for a few moments, unable to move. I just met my favorite driver and it couldn't be more embarrassed than that.

"The first meeting with your children's future father was very good." my best friend, Lila, tells me.

"Shut up."

The fact that I found Aston Martin Hospitality and managed to get the autograph for my father and I could take a few pictures with Sebastian Vettel erased the embarrassment caused by the disastrous meeting I had with Pierre Gasly.

For a little time.

As soon as we got out of Aston Martin Hospitality Lila pulled us to McLaren Hospitality, hoping to meet Lando Norris and take some pictures with him, about 100, but who's counting, right?

I was with my head on the phone, sending my father some pictures I took with Sebastian Vettel when I came across someone, this time I lost my balance and I was about to fall but two strong arms caught me. Pierre Gasly, again.

"Honestly, we should stop meeting like this, you could get hurt," he says and laughs. "Are you ok?"

"Yes, yes, I'm fine," I say and bite my lip. "I should really start looking where I'm going."

My friends secretly took pictures of us.

"It's the second time we've met in less than 10 minutes, maybe the universe wants to tell us something, don't you think?" he says and holds out his hand. "Pierre."

I hold out my hand and smile wide. "Y/N."

I turn my gaze to Lila and Erica, presenting them to Pierre as well.

"I hope you feel good in the paddock. So far, the world has been nice to you and your friends?"

"Yes, everything has been good so far. We've only been to Aston Martin and they've all been very nice to us. Except for a few people who don't look where they're going, we haven't had any unexpected events." I say and laugh.

Pierre starts laughing too.

"Yes, I will try to look after you from now on and avoid you. I don't want to be the reason you fall. Although, if something happens, I know the medical team and you don't need medical insurance here."

I asked Pierre if he wanted to take some pictures with me and he accepted immediately. At least that's what I can do after I've run into you twice already.

For the next few hours, Lila and Erica, and I walked from one Hospitality to another, looking for drivers. They were all very nice to us and agreed to pose with us.

When it was time to start qualifying, we went to the room provided by McLaren for guests to watch.

I followed Pierre's position in the standings, Lila followed Lando's position and Erica followed Max's position. All three of us breathed a sigh of relief when the three boys passed into Q3.

Lando will leave from the seventh position tomorrow.

Pierre will start from the fourth position.

Max will start from pole position.

The three of us went to the hotel, ready to rest well for the next day.

If the atmosphere for qualifying had seemed charged to me, then the atmosphere before the race could not be described.

Yesterday everyone was behaving nicely and they were smiling. Now everyone was running past everyone, there were many screams and many curses could be heard. And everyone was frowning, not a smile in sight.

We didn't see any drivers, so we headed to McLaren Hospitality to get comfortable for the race. I unwittingly was disappointed. I wanted to see Pierre before the race to wish him good luck.

Although I hadn't wished him good luck, Pierre was lucky. He finished the race in second place, behind Max Verstappen. I was very happy and I wanted to go and congratulate him as soon as possible.

I watched the award from the window, filming and taking pictures which I was sure I would cherish for a long time to come.

"Congratulations!" I scream when I see him and he looks at me. "It was a very good race, congratulations!"

"Thank you!" he says and smiles at me.

I asked my friends to take some pictures with the trophy and champagne and then Pierre left, being shouted by someone from the team.

"Stay here, I'd like to see you one more time before you have to leave."

I could die then and there when I heard his words. Pierre Gasly wanted to see me again.

It's just that it hasn't happened before. We stayed there for another two hours and Pierre could not be found. It was getting late and everyone was starting to leave, so we left.

Monza is the most important economic, industrial and administrative center of the Brianza sub-region, being the third-largest city in Lombardy, with a population of about 120,000 inhabitants. When people think of Monza, the first thing that comes to mind is the famous Formula 1 Grand Prix that is held here every year.

Although many may think that Milan eclipses this smaller city, Monza should not be dismissed, having an absolutely sublime historical architecture, such as the Cathedral and the Leoni Bridge, but also features the huge Parco di Monza and of course the famous Formula 1 Autodromo.

The historic center of Monza stretches over a large area and in this area, you can find most historical sites and a guided tour of the history of cities.

Three months have passed since the Brazilian Grand Prix.

Three months since I first saw Pierre Gasly.

Although I have pictures of the two of us, I can't help but regret the fact that I didn't see him then; I will probably never see him again.

The exams passed and to relax completely my father and I got tickets to the Italian Grand Prix.

What I didn't know was that my father had taken VIP tickets.

That means we're going to the paddock.

Does that mean I can meet Pierre?

I tried not to have too many hopes, in the end, there are thousands of people there, I can't meet him, can I?

I didn't meet him on Friday. It had been the two practice sessions, everyone was as relaxed as possible, my father took pictures with everyone he saw, but Pierre was nowhere to be seen.

On Saturday we were late and did not catch the practice, but we saw the qualifications. Pierre starts from the tenth position. To be honest, I didn't have high expectations for tomorrow's race for Pierre.

And man I was wrong about that.

The whole race I was speechless. I heard my father from lap 23 and to the end cursing the accident that took Charles Leclerc out of the race.

My eyes were only on car number 10. I had the impression that I was blinking only when the camera moved to another car. I forgot to breathe when I saw the overtaking he was doing.

But he won.

Pierre Gasly won in Monza. His first ever Formula One career win and it was my home race.

Before we went out in the paddock looking for Pierre, after the premiere, I wiped away the tears I didn't know I had.

It wasn't hard for me to find him. Where there were a lot of people screaming and chanting, he must have been there too.

And I was right. He is enjoying his first victory with the whole team. Everyone wanted to hug and congratulate him.

As if he noticed my presence among the hundreds of people who were there, Pierre looked at me. I noticed his face light up and he came towards me.

"Y/N!" he says and hugs me.

I'm sure my father was shocked somewhere in the back. I hadn't told him that I had met Pierre, but after this hug, I will definitely have to explain to him what the situation is.

"Congratulations!" I tell him and I smile broadly. "First victory! Wow!"

He shrugs nonchalantly.

"I was lucky."

I laugh and hit him playfully in the shoulder.

"With Hamilton being penalized? You would have overtaken him without that penalty."

He looked into my eyes.

"I haven't found you after the race in Brazil."

The fact that he remembered had taken me by surprise. I was sure he couldn't remember the fact that he had proposed to me to stay on the circuit so that he could see me one more time.

I was sure that the second he left, he forgot what I looked like and forgot my name.

But no. He still knew me. He still knew my name and knew we had to see each other.

"I haven't seen you there before and I left after about two hours, it was getting late."

"I'm sorry, the teamwork had taken longer than I initially anticipated. When I went to look for you, no one was there. Then I realized I didn't even have your phone number. I tried to look for you on Instagram, but do you know how many girls are there with your name?"

I laughed.

"Well, I could give my phone number to the race winner now, if he wants it, of course. Do you think he would accept it?" you ask laughing.

Pierre blushes and bites his lip.

"I'm sure he would accept."

I take out of my bag the notebook and pen I was carrying with me to receive the drivers' autographs and write my phone number. I hand him the sheet just as Pierre is being taken by some engineers to the garage to celebrate the victory.

I laugh and wave at him.

I was at home with my father, watching a boring movie on Netflix. I've been looking at the phone constantly since last night, waiting for a message from Pierre but I haven't received anything.

"Ugh, this movie is so boring," I say and take my phone off the table. "Let me look for a more interesting one."

That's when I receive a message from a number I didn't save. I received a picture.

It was the picture with the prize Pierre received.

"The winner of the race has received your number and is wondering if you are free to dine with him."

I bit my lip, unable to control the smile on my face.

"If the winner of the race wants to go out on a date with me, who am I to say no?"

"8 o'clock?"

"I'll send you the address right away."

#pierre gasly x reader #pierre gasly imagine #pierre gasly one shot #pierre gasly oneshot #pierre gasly #f1 fanfiction #f1 oneshot #f1 one shot #f1 2021 #f1 #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #formula one oneshot #formula one imagine #forumula one #formula 1 oneshot #formula one #formula 1 #alpha tauri

[queenshelby]

The Nanny (Part Three)

Featuring: Cillian Murphy x Virgin!Reader

Words: 6229

Warning: Smut, Age Gap

Requested: Yes

Tag List (Cillian Murphy):

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Sorting Things Out

In the last 24 hours, Cillian had been trying to unsuccessfully reach you, but you ignored his calls.

You were upset by what you saw and you had to concentrate on your university assignments and your upcoming play. It was too much for you to handle and the last thing you wanted was to experience emotional disappointment yet again.

You had a terrible track record with men and, whilst you expected Cillian to be different, perhaps you were wrong. Or weren’t you?

Tuesday afternoon you had theatre practice as usual and were rehearsing your play with Anita. The other two members of the cast, Darcy and Johnathan, had called in sick. This wasn’t unusual as, no doubt, they were making the most of Monday night’s happy hour at the local pub. Despite, Darcy really tried to avoid you since your last encounter and, if it wasn’t for his parents, he would have resigned from the play by now.

Just as you were practicing for the second part of the play, you saw a familiar face.  

‘What are you doing here?’ you asked somewhat surprised to see Cillian as he approached the stage.

‘You’ve ignored my calls and messages for the past 24 hours. So, I just came to check on you to see whether everything was alright’ Cillian said quietly so that Anita couldn’t hear you.

‘Well, I am sure you know why I ignored your calls Cillian’ you said with a sigh.

‘I have got my suspicions but whatever you think you saw isn’t what it looked like Y/N. Can we talk somewhere in private please?’ Cillian asked as Anita’s eyes widened, trying to listen into your conversation.

You nodded and, just as you did, Anita approached you demanding an introduction.

You introduced Cillian to Anita quickly before excusing yourself in order to walk with Cillian to a quiet corner of the theatre hall.

‘Listen Y/N, I am sorry for having sent you away yesterday. The woman at my apartment was my ex and whilst I knew for the past few weeks that I am not going to give her a second chance after what she did, I only officially ended it yesterday. I thought that it would be the right thing to do before I get involved with you. Me and her just needed to talk, sort things out and if she would have known about me seeing you, she would have made things very difficult, believe me’ Cillian explained.

‘So why didn’t you just tell me that yesterday?’ you asked.

‘I suppose I didn’t want to worry you’ Cillian said.

‘I am sorry for getting upset Cilly. It’s just…you know what I’ve been through and I know how reluctant you are about us and the age gap between us. I thought that, perhaps, you changed your mind after Sunday night’ you said somewhat upset and worried about how he would react.

‘Why would I change my mind after having spent the night with you?’ Cillian asked curiously.

‘Because we didn’t sleep with each other’ you said nervously.

‘Y/N, we talked about this. I am quite happy to wait. I just love spending time with you, alright’ Cillian asked.

‘Alright. Sorry, I am just not used to having someone actually being patient with me and wanting to be with me at the same time’ you said shyly.

‘Perhaps you’ve just been unlucky with men’ Cillian chuckled before taking a pause. His comment made you laugh.

‘Do you want me to show you how much I want to be with you?’ Cillian asked, causing you to smile and answer with a shy nod.

‘Alright’ Cillian smirked before asking you how your relationship with Anita was noting that she was the only person left in the theatre with you.

‘She’s my best friend, why?’ you asked.

‘Do you trust her?’ Cillian asked.

‘Yes, but why are you asking?’ you asked.

‘Because she is watching us talk and I am about to do this’ Cillian smirked just before he leaned in and gave you a long and passionate kiss on your lips.

‘Well thanks, this will open up an awkward conversation now’ you said with a giggle as you observed Anita looking over to you in disbelieve.

‘You are welcome. See you tonight for dinner at my place? I will cook’ he said before shouting out ‘goodbye’ to Anita with a cheeky grin on his face.

‘Yes, see you later’ you said before giving him another kiss.

As you walked back towards the stage, you could see Anita waiting for you. Her face was full of questions.

‘You need to tell me everything, immediately’ she said before you could say anything at all.

‘There is nothing to tell Anita’ you said, your cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

‘He just kissed you, on the lips’ Anita said.

‘Yes, we are seeing each other’ you explained shyly.

‘Oh my god, seriously? Is this why you broke up with Darcy?’ Anita asked.

‘I broke up with Darcy because he was treating me badly. I met Cillian through the couple I am staying with and who I work for. Things just happened between us over the weekend. It wasn’t something either of us had contemplated’ you explained, knowing that this was just half of the truth. After all, you shared a kiss much earlier and you took a liking in Cillian the moment you met him.

‘Do they know? Does Darcy know?’ Anita asked.

‘No, and I would like it to stay that way for now. We are just working things out between us at the moment’ you said.

‘My lips are sealed Y/N. But, you do know that he’s in his 40s, right? It’s a fair age gap between you’ she asked.

‘I am aware and that’s why we both want to keep this between us for now’ you said before you demanded to change the topic.

You personally did not care about the age gap between you, but you knew that Cillian did.

Him kissing you in front of your friend was unexpected to you and certainly evidence that he was coming around.

Perhaps the age gap started to bother him less.

The Next Two Weeks

Over the next few weeks, you were busy rehearsing your play and managed well to keep your relationship with Cillian a secret.

You almost got caught once by Craig when Cillian came over for dinner one night after he avoided Craig and Ella for a little while. During his visit, you managed to steal a kiss from Cillian when no one was in the kitchen with you. Craig walked into the kitchen just after you did. It was a close call.

Other than that, it was smooth sailing for now.

Over the past two weeks, Cillian had also moved back into his house which was only a ten-minute walk from where you were living.

His ex fiancée had moved out as she couldn’t have maintained the repayments on the mortgage on her own and Cillian spent most of his free time redecorating the house, decluttering pretty much everything that belonged to his ex.

You visited him often and helped him with painting and some of the work. It was fun and you enjoyed his company.

You also managed to sleep over at his place a few nights per week, raising some suspicions with Craig and Ella.

You told them that you were staying with a friend to rehearse the play and they never minded since you were extremely reliable and helpful when it came to their children. After all, you were not required to work past 6pm but often chose to do so at your own accord. You enjoyed the children’s company.

Despite what you had told Craig and Ella, Craig believed that you were back with Darcy. But, this time around, you seemed much happier and he didn’t dare to question it.

But this wasn’t all he had noticed and thought about. He had his suspicions about Cillian’s behaviour as well.

On Thursday Night, the 23th of May, you had dinner with Craig, Ella and their children. Cillian was in Cork until the following day to see his parents and you spent a lot of time at home, listening to Craig’s wild theories about what his friend was up to.

‘So, are you guys going to the pub on Saturday Night for Cillian’s birthday?’ Ella asked.

‘Believe it or not, he said he’s busy’ Craig said with a chuckle.

‘Too busy to go to the pub on his birthday? That’s very strange’ Ella observed.

‘Apparently, yes’ Craig said, not knowing that Cillian asked you to spend the night with him instead.

‘He really needs to get out there especially after the break up’ Ella suggested.

‘I actually think he is seeing someone. He’s been rather busy and in unusually good mood. Despite, I did notice some long hair in the bathroom sink when I visited him the other day’ Craig laughed.

‘Are you a detective now Craig?’ you asked with a shy laugh.

‘And he didn’t tell you anything?’ Ella asked surprised, causing Craig to shake his head.

Craig and Ella’s mind ran through all of the single females they knew and they believed to be compatible with Cillian but, after some speculations between them, they finally put this matter to rest and changed the topic.

Little did they know that the person they were wanting to know about was sitting right in front of them.

Birthday Surprise

The following day, you had the day off and went shopping with Anita. You needed a birthday present for Cillian and had no idea what to get him.

After visiting several shops, you finally found what you were looking for. He loved music and had recently bought himself a new record player. You knew he was collection records and you found one that you thought he doesn’t already have and would appreciate. After all, it was by his favourite band.

‘So, you done?’ Anita asked after you bought the record and some wrapping paper.

‘Not quite. I need something to wear’ you said shyly.

‘Aren’t you just having dinner at his house?’ Anita asked.

‘Yes, but I am talking about lingerie’ you said with some embarrassment and, before you knew it, Anita dragged you into a well-known underwear shop.

‘How about this one?’ Anita asked as she pulled out some red lace panties made out of the tiniest bit of fabric.

‘Uhm, I don’t think so, thanks’ you said as you looked at it. It was rather trashy and you were after something more elegant.

In the end, Anita convinced you to purchase a set of black lace lingerie and matching stockings that were held up by a suspender.

The set was elegant, but yet sexy. It was just right for what you had planned.

As the evening of Cillian’s birthday approached, you were beginning to get rather nervous.

That night, you were determined to give yourself to him. All of you. It is what you wanted and you’ve been ready for a few days now to take this next step.

You arrived at Cillian’s house at 6pm with some take away from Cillian’s favourite Italian restaurant and his birthday present.

‘Happy Birthday’ you smiled as he opened the door and you gave him a gentle kiss.

‘Thank you…you look lovely’ Cillian observed as you walked inside and took off your coat, revealing your black and white satin wrap dress and high heels.

‘Thanks, I bought it just for you’ you winked. ‘Uhm, and this is for you’ you said with a warm smile as you handed him his present.

‘You know you didn’t have to get me anything, right. Just spending the evening with you is perfect’ Cillian said politely.

‘But I wanted to’ you said as you sat down on one of the bar stools at the side of the kitchen bench while Cillian opened his present.

He was impressed with your choice of album and confirmed that he did not already have this record. He was quick to put it on and you were happy that he liked it.

After listening to some music and enjoying some wine and Italian food, Cillian excused himself to have a shower after you managed to spill half of your glass of red wine onto his lap.

You were rather clumsy that evening and it was probably because of your nervousness. You knew what you wanted that night and it made your thoughts go crazy and your mind play tricks on you, causing you to not pay much attention to your surroundings.  

Cillian suggested that you pick a movie to watch while he was in the shower and, whilst you agreed with his suggestion, you had other ideas.  

Taking off your dress and putting your heels back on, you decided to wait for him in the living room while enjoying a bit more of your wine and changing the music to a playlist on your phone.

When Cillian returned from the bathroom in nothing but his black Calvin Kleins, his chin dropped at the sight of you, sitting on his white leather lounge almost suggestively wearing nothing but black lace lingerie.

‘Uhm…’ Cillian said, before taking a deep breath. ‘Did you find a movie?’ he asked politely, causing you to smile and shake your head.

‘I don’t think I want to watch a movie’ you said as you walked over to him before giving him a passionate kiss.

‘Alright, then what would you like to do instead?’ Cillian asked as your lips drifted apart.

‘Have sex with you’ you said shyly.

‘Didn’t we say that we would take things slow?’ Cillian asked.

‘Well, we’ve been seeing each other for almost two weeks now. Despite, it’s your birthday and that is what I had in mind to surprise you’ you grinned.

‘Y/N, listen, it doesn’t matter what day it is. I need you to want this and be sure about this, alright?’ Cillian said reassuringly.

‘I am sure Cillian. I want this and I want you. All of you. Please don’t make me have put this on for nothing’ you said as you looked down on yourself.

‘I didn’t quite prepare for this’ Cillian chuckled.

‘Prepare? You literally just came out of the shower’ you said with laughter.

‘I meant that I don’t have condoms’ Cillian chuckled.

‘Oh right…condoms, of course’ you said, your face turning flushed instantly while Cillian couldn’t help but laugh. This had become rather awkward but he adored your shyness.

‘Well, I am on the pill’ you said shyly knowing that it would be safe after recent conversations you had following your respective break ups.

‘Uhm, alright’ Cillian said somewhat nervously himself as he ran his hand over your cheek gently. He didn’t expect to find himself in a situation like this again at his age.

‘Well, let’s break in your new bed, shall we?’ you chuckled, causing Cillian to laugh and take your hand before walking with you to his bedroom.

After you entered it, you stood there in front of the large bed, holding each other's hands and looking deep into each other's eyes.

His lips met yours. You kissed lovingly, your tongues searching deep into each other's mouths while your hands were running over each other's bodies.

He was delicious and you leaned forward to plant little butterfly kisses on his warm skin.

Of course, you had seen Cillian bare chested and naked before, but somehow, the dim light of the room made him appear even more sexy than before. His freckled skin shone at you and his glorious smile radiated strength and confidence. You gasped at his sight, knowing what you were about to do. What had you done to deserve him?

As you were standing in front of his bed, facing him and gazing over his body, Cillian planted a kiss on your bare neck while his hands explored your curves and breasts.

‘You are so beautiful’ Cillian whispered. He was in awe of you and his eyes sparkled as he beheld your beauty.

In response to his comment, you fell against his chest, frantically covering his warm skin with kisses, running your fingertips over the swell of his muscles. His hand went to the back of your head. Emboldened, you took one of his nipples gently between your teeth and pulled lightly.

A strangled gasp sounded in his throat and, like a whore, you ran your hand over the front of his briefs, feeling his erect cock trapped behind the fabric. That proud bulge in between his legs looked simply delicious and you wanted to taste him again.

He stood and pulled you gently to him, holding you close, letting you feel his hardness as it pressed against your belly. Your arms slipped around his waist and down to his buttocks. You squeezed hard and pulled him tighter against you.

Boldly he swept you up and carried you round the side of the bed, effortlessly laying you down on the bed. You loved that wonderful feeling of weightlessness as he held you in his arms.

As you were lying on the bed, he hungrily crawled between your legs like an Iberian tiger stalking his prey, feasting his eyes on the prize beneath him. Lust was plastered across his face.

It was obvious to you that he wanted you. All of you. And you weren’t afraid, weren’t anxious, not even nervous. This is what you wanted, what you'd dreamed of. You were expectant and excited. This was the man who'd make you a woman and you were ready more than you'd ever been.

As he was hoovering over you, you pulled him deeper with your arms and legs, thrusting your sex up against his hardness.

As you did, you could feel the ridges of his cock through your panties and felt so good.

‘Easy’ he chuckled as you eagerly tried to grind against him.

‘I want you so badly Cillian’ you said, your eyes hungry and desperate.

‘And I want you too Y/N, but, this is your first time, so we need to take it slow, trust me’ Cillian said as he pushed himself up from you and reached between your breasts to unfasten your bra. You smiled as he'd spotted the clasp at the front, somehow that was very pleasing to you and you hadn't needed to show him.

Delicately he spread the two halves of the garment, as if opening a treasure cabinet. Despite the fact that he’s seen them before, flames lit up in his eyes as he exposed your naked breasts.

Your nipples throbbed as he caressed them gently with his tongue. The warmth of his mouth closed over each one in turn as he worshipped your body, driving a gasp from your lips at his touch. He placed soft kisses between your breasts, nuzzling their gentle swell, then lavished his attention again on your proud buds.

‘I am one lucky man to have such a beautiful woman with me right here’ he whispered again as your hands ran through his hair.

‘I think I am the lucky one Cilly’ you whispered as he began to move downwards, honouring you, revering you, brushing his lips over your abs and across the top edge of your panties. His breath was warm and gentle, his fingers so soft and caring. A visceral moan resounded through your body as your aching core demanded his touch.

Your hands were still buried in his hair as his warm lips brushed against the inside of your thighs, tantalisingly close, but yet so far from your centre. You longed for him to slide your panties down your hips, to reveal your most delicate flower. You were so wet for him.

You moaned a little in disappointment as he kissed his way back up your body. Was he having second thoughts?

He held his face above yours and you looked up into those deep blue eyes. Then his touch, so light, making you tingle all the more as he stroked you through the fabric of your lace panties.

A soft groan escaped your lips. You closed your eyes, pressing your head back into the pillow, flinging your arms out wide as you surrendered to him.

‘You like that?’ Cillian asked in his soft bass growl.

You nodded as he was teasing you, withdrawing his touch.

‘Yes…Please Cillian…please’ you moaned in response, longing his touch.

You lifted your hips, imploring him to reveal your nakedness and pressing your sex against his hand.

‘So impatient, aren’t we?’ Cillian said as he shuffled his body downwards again and, with a final, tender kiss on the waistband of your lace panties, he hooked his fingers behind the elastic and eased your panties over your hips.

He leant forwards and placed a gentle kiss just above your mound just as his fingers trailed over your sex.

In the next moment, you felt him take your slender hips in his powerful hands and a shiver ran through you as he blew across the moistened lips of your sex.

He reached forwards to plant a kiss on your mons. Your eyes closed as he parted your dripping labia, licking repeatedly upwards to your clit.

You could hear him spreading your wetness as he lapped across the entrance to your channel. You moaned in frustration, trying to capture his tongue and suck it inside you. You gasped with pleasure.

Faster and faster his tongue worked your sex, stoking the fire, fanning the flames inside.

‘You know I should really be doing this to you instead. After all, it’s your birthday’ you said in between moans as you buried your hands in his curls.

‘Trust me, I enjoy this very much’ Cillian said just before plunged his tongue back inside of you, causing you to buck your hips against him as he worked his magic.

The heat was rising inside you and driving your whimpers, your cries and your moans as the surging inside you prepared to blow.

You threw back your head and screamed, digging your fingers into his hair as your orgasm exploded over you. A thousand earthquakes thundered through you as he catapulted you to the stars. Blindly you clung to him, fighting to breathe.

‘I am waiting for this knock on the door from my neighbours’ Cillian chuckled as you were rather loud when you orgasmed.

‘I am really trying to stay quiet. Really. I promise’ you giggled as Cillian trailed kissed back up your body while you came down from your high.

‘I find that hard to believe’ Cillian smirked before his mouth met yours in a frenzy of passion.

You were wild as you kissed, driven by the taste of yourself on his tongue. His hands roamed over your body as he hoovered over you and you pressed back against him, brushing against his erect cock with your wet mound.

‘Cillian, please’ you panted. ‘I want you inside of me’ you said.

‘You are determined, aren’t you?’ Cillian chuckled, causing you to nod.

Just after you gave him the nod of reassurance he needed, he got rid of his briefs and you delicately closed your fingers around his length, stroking him gently.

Soft moans escaped him and a little drop of pre-cum had collected on his glans, then running down over your fingers.

You wanted to take him in your mouth, to feel his cock against the back of your throat, but your core was aching, screaming, demanding him.

After a few more strokes and passionate kisses, Cillian hoovered over you and spread your legs apart as he kneeled between them. His cock bobbed in front of him as he got into position. You couldn’t help it but look down in between you. He was so close and you bit your lip in anticipation.

Cillian’s hand reached between you as he lowered himself, lining himself up with your entrance.  

‘Please’ you whispered. ‘I am ready’ you said as you looked at him.

He kissed you again and carefully, tentatively began to push forwards.

His bulbous head slowly eased into your channel, stretching you wide.

You winced as you could feel a sharp, stinging and pinching pain. You closed your eyes and gritted your teeth before taking some deep breaths. Above you, Cillian held still, very still, comforting you with the lightest kisses on your cheeks and forehead, tenderly stroking your hair.

You opened your eyes, noticing Cillian looking down at you, a loving concern in his eyes. You lifted your head, seeking the softness of his lips.

‘Are you OK?’ he asked, causing you to nod.

He smiled and kissed you again.

‘Do you want me to keep going?’ he asked as he noticed that you began to relax a bit more.

‘Yes, keep going’ you said before taking a deep breath and holding onto his shoulders.

‘Tell me if you want me to stop, alright?’ Cillian asked, causing you to nod.

Millimetre by millimetre he moved forwards, watching you closely, ready to stop in a heartbeat. It hurt, of course it hurt. Your virginity was not giving up without a fight. But that was a battle you were already winning as you knew this pain was soon to turn into pleasure.

After he entered you slowly, pushing past your hymen, you eventually felt him coming to rest against your mons. He was all the way inside.

The walls of your channel gripped him tightly, probing his shaft which felt so big and hard. He felt so good and euphoria soon erupted inside you. It was a wonderful feeling of completeness, a joining of your bodies.

You kissed for a long time - for how long, you know not, but Cillian would have held you for eternity, safe and secure in his embrace.

You looked up at his face, cradled in your hands - his eyes sparkled with love for you.

Eventually, as you adjusted to him inside of you, you nodded, pleading with him to begin to move. Then, as you felt the slow withdraw as his hips eased away, you pressed your forehead against his, curving your body upwards and inwards, as if to prevent him escaping from you.

Another kiss, this time on your forehead. He looked down at you, searching your eyes again for signs of pain - but there were none.

Slowly, very slowly he began to press, pushing forward again, invading your softness once more. Your back arched, calling him deeper as you stretched around him. You threw back your head, gasping in pleasure, my your sightless as your fingers clawed at his skin.

Suddenly he was all the way inside you, sheathed to the hilt, splitting you open as the two of you united.

He kissed you tenderly on the lips, but as he started to move away, you grabbed the back of his head and held him, pushing your tongue hungrily into his mouth. Surprised, he hesitated for a split second, then responded vigorously, gripping your face between his hands, as we lost ourselves in a whirlpool of passion.

Withdrawing again, pulling from you, lifting his hips as he slid away. Your core cried out in anguish, clutching in vain, desperate to hold him inside, gasping to receive him again. A third push, a little smoother, a little quicker, all the way in once more.

‘Oh god that feels so good’ you cried, delirious with pleasure.

Kisses, frantic kisses, endless kisses - on your cheeks, your forehead, your lips; Cillian' tenderness in that most masculine of acts. Your mouth searched blindly, your tongue thrusting against his as you tightly gripped the back of his head. Moans and whimpers emanated from your chest, words impossible, unfit to carry your emotions.

More thrusts - each time you arched your back as he filled you, a warm pleasure flooding through you.

He was slow, yet powerful, stretching you open as you surrendered to him. Above you the sinews of his body glistened lightly with perspiration, his muscles standing out strongly beneath his skin. His scent was raw, intoxicating - a testosterone-charged heat that drove you wilder still.

He pushed up away from you a little, straightening out his arms, so the two of you could crane your necks to see where you were joined. Entranced you watched as his cock slid from you, slick with your juices, then buried itself again. A hypnotic, mesmerising rhythm, lifting your soul from the bed where you lay, driving you to places never before seen. You flung your head backwards, surrendering yourself to pleasure, pain banished to the farthest corners of the earth as fire in your core burned ever brighter.

 There was a change in Cillian too, as he responded to your moans. He'd been tentative, hesitant in those first few strokes, but now he was settling and letting his own visceral power take control. Beneath him you writhed with pleasure. He was dominant, in charge and in control. He began to increase his pace, driven onwards by the same urgent, primeval desire that commanded you.

‘Oh god yes don’t stop’ you hissed each time he thrusted into you, squealing and moaning in equal measure.

He brought his chest down again, crushing your nipples against his torso, binding you ever more tightly to him. The side of his head pressed against yours and you buried your face against his shoulder.

‘Oh god Cillian’ you moaned. You were so close.

Your body arched and the muscles of your tight walls clenched and spasmed around his hard cock as a great bubble of pleasure rose up within your core and your orgasm washed over you.

‘Fuck’ Cillian moaned at the sight of your pleasure. Your face and torso were flushed, your breath raspy, as you writhed beneath him and clawed at him while your body peaked again.

As your walls contracted around him one final time, a roar exploded from him as his body crested and he toppled over the edge. His cock throbbed and pulsed inside of you and you could feel him spill several steady streams of cum deep inside of you.

After he came down from his high, he collapsed on you gasping, trying to regain his breath.

‘Don't move, please, Cillian’ you said, your face still flushed with your excitement. You stroked his hair lovingly. ‘I like the way you feel inside me...’ you said.

‘I take it you're okay then?’ Cillian laughed softly, enjoying the little ebbing ripples from your tight walls against his cock. He smiled and kissed your lips softly.

‘Better than okay’ you answered, a look of wonder crossing her face. You never expected your first time to be so good and pleasurable.

‘Are you sore at all?’ he questioned with concern.

‘Not that I can feel. All I feel now is exhausted bliss’ you grinned.

‘You know, you are amazing in every way possible. Now I think you need to get some sleep, before I am tempted to do that all over again’ he chuckled as he gently pulled out of you.

‘I didn't think men could, I mean…’ your voice trailed off.

‘I guess it depends on the man and the situation. For me, there is nothing sexier than someone I am in love with lying naked beside me in satisfied bliss. With that, it’s hard to keep my hands off your beautiful and sexy body’ he smirked as he leaned forward to kiss your shoulder, his hand moving to your breast to fondle the nipple.

‘Did you just say that you are in love with me?’ you asked shyly.

‘Yes, I did. I know it’s early but, sometimes, if you know you know’ Cillian said before kissing you gently.

‘I am in love with you too Cillian. I’ve been feeling that way the moment I met you’ you said as your lips drifted apart.

‘Well, then I am a very lucky man’ Cillian smiled before trailing kisses down your neck again.

‘Keep that up, and I will demand a repeat performance’ you teased him, your face flushing at his words.

‘You will be sore tomorrow Y/N. It might be better to wait until…’ Cillian said and, just before he could finish his sentence, he found himself on his back with your head disappearing in between his thighs.

That night, you were lucky enough to experience another two orgasms before you finally decided to give Cillian some rest.

Eventually, after several more hours of passionate love making, you smiled without saying a word and snuggled up against him. You loved him, truly madly deeply and it was an absolute wonder to you that you have come that far in a such a small space of time. You sighed once in pleasure at holding him and being held, then slipped into contented oblivion.

The Morning After

The next morning, at around 8 am, the rising sun began to warm your skin through the ceiling window as you slowly start to stir. The birds began to chirp and chitter as the light reached across the bedroom in long hot streaks.

You felt extremely well rested and a little sore from the night before. It was warm beneath the thick doona lying next to Cillian and, with your eyes slowly opening to look next to you, you could see that he is still fast asleep.

You spooned behind him and wrapped your arms around his chest. He murmured gently as you nestled your face into his shoulder and kissed the curve of his neck. You were still naked and your skin was clammy with dried sweat from the night before.

Your nether regions tightened, throbbed, and tingled, thinking about Cillian being inside of you, making love to you. You rubbed your crotch against his soft ass and, as you did, he rolled his legs together. His eyes still closed. Your feet brush over and over and a low moan escaped his lips.

You carefully and gently grasped his already hard cock and began to move your hand up and down his shaft. He began to moan a little bit louder, causing you to pick up speed.

With his eyes still closed, he reached back with one hand and felt the curve of your body while you pressed your other arm against his stomach and hold onto him.

Finally, he opened his eyes and turned his face toward yours before pressing his lip against yours.

As your lips drifted apart, Cillian rolled on top of you. One knee bent and with his hands on your neck, he ran his tongue over your lips, teasing you.

You lift your hips to him and his erection glanced against your vulva while he kissed you deeply, so hard and all-consuming that you could barely catch your breath.

You folded your legs around his waist and, just like this, without words, he slid inside of you.

Your hands caressed his face as he entered you, causing you to moan loudly.

His thrusts were gentle but deep and you loved the feeling of him being inside of you.

You moved your hips in sync with his as his cock glided in and out of you over and over again.

Your moans soon became louder and your walls began to clench around him.

‘Oh god, Cillian please don’t stop’ you moaned as you could feel another orgasm coming on.

‘I am not intending to’ he barely managed to say as he continued to thrust in and out of you.

Within moments, you lost yourself in the pleasure of his cock slipping and thrusting in and out of you and your orgasm washed over you.

You were as loud as usual, sure to wake up the neighbours. But, your screams and moans sent Cillian over the edge as well and he filled you with more of his warm cum before he collapsed on top of you.

‘Hmm this was nice….good morning babe’ you smiled as Cillian carefully pulled out of you, which is when you both heard the doorbell ring.

‘I am telling you, it’s probably the neighbour with a noise complaint’ Cillian laughed.

‘Well, you better sort this out then yeah?’ you smirked as you watched Cillian put on his briefs and a t-shirt quickly as the doorbell rang a second time.

Cillian was quick to walk downstairs once his erection had finally come down, making you giggle.

‘Fuck, hey’ Cillian said as he opened the door and Craig greeted him.

‘Happy belated Birthday man’ Craig said as he handed Cillian a present and a bag of bagels.

‘Uhm, thanks’ Cillian said with some embarrassment as Craig walked inside.

As he walked into the living room, Craig was quick to notice your coat hanging up in the hallway. Your black dress and high heels were scattered through the living room and the two empty wine glasses were still sitting on the coffee table.

‘Oh shit man, you are having company?’ Craig asked, causing Cillian to nod and, just as he did, Craig noticed your keys on the kitchen counter.

‘Aren’t these Y/N’s keys?’ he asked, causing Cillian to nod with embarrassment and, as you overheard the conversation from upstairs, you joined Cillian and Craig in the living room.

‘Hi Craig’ you said nervously. Your cheeks were flushed and your hair was messy from your recent activities.

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy smut #Cillian Murphy x Reader #cillian murphy imagine #cillian murphy x y/n #cillian murphy x you

[nashibirne]

Gimme Shelter - 6

Sorry, it took me a while to write the next chapter but I was kinda busy. I hope you still want to know how things are going and growing between Henry and Kat. If you like this, please reward me with a comment, reblog or like 💜

Pairing: Henry Cavill x OFC (Kat Spencer)

Words: ~3.0k

Summary: Henry has to deal with a personal crisis and he finds shelter with his old rugby mate Sam and his sister Kat. She used to be Henry’s best friend a very long time ago. Will they be able to become friends again or maybe even more? Chapter 6: A disruptive factor and The Lonely Hearts Club meets again.

You can find the previous chapters and my other fics on my masterlist!

Warnings: RPF, mention of mental health issues, lots of poetry

Unbeta'ed. English isn't my first language. Mistakes ahead and they're all mine.

Disclaimer: I don’t know the real Henry Cavill or anyone who's related to him in any way, this is pure fiction and nothing more

Credits: Pics for the moodboard from Pinterest. Face claims: Kat = Jennifer Connelly

Taglist (let me know if you want to be added or removed):

@lunedelorient @inlovewithhisblueeyes @willkatfanfromasia @hell1129-blog @mis-lil-red @agniavateira @kebabgirl67 @omgkatinka @legendarywizarddetective @summersong69 @taebfada @xxxkatxo @artandotherdelights @notabronte @littlefreya @luclittlepond @eldarwen333 @meowpurrbooks @marantha @liliumdream @enchantedbytomandhenry @greensleeves888 @witcherfan @margauxmargaux07 @radaofrivia @m07belzen @a-little-counter-esperanto @starstruckkittyangel @mary-ann84 @sillyrabbit81

So, enough of the small print...here we go:

**********

As much as Kat enjoyed her time with Henry and the feelings that blossomed between them there was this one disruptive factor called Mel.

When they were sitting on that rock the other day, almost kissing, when they were pouring their hearts out afterwards, it all felt so real, so possible, so tangible but whenever she saw Hen talk to Mel her heart sank and doubt started to nag at her hope. And he not only talked to Mel, he went to her place several times and so Kat went to London for contract negotiations with a publishing house with mixed feelings. 

She wanted to trust Henry who always laughed it off, when Kat asked him about Mel, saying they were just having a neighbourly chat, but she also wasn't willing to be heading for the rocks blindly. She wasn't able to ignore the existence of Mel and the connection between her and the man Kat had fallen for again. 

She missed Henry terribly when she was away though. Five days without him made her realize how close they had grown and how much she enjoyed being around him. Five lonely nights in a hotel bed increased her doubts and her worries, her jealousy and her insecurities. She couldn't stop her mind from creating worst case scenarios of Hen being with Mel. Of Mel seducing him, of Henry having sex with her, falling for the attractive, charming blonde who knew how to enchant a man. She imagined how he got trapped by this woman who'd never tried to hide that she was looking for a new husband, a new provider, after the last one had the audacity to die and leave her with a big, beautiful mansion but not with the amount of money Mel had hoped for. And in all these scenarios Kat was the one who was left behind with a broken heart. Again. 

When she returned to St. Ives on Saturday afternoon she found Lydia working in the garden and Sam in the kitchen, baking bread. Her brother hugged her, leaving handprints of flour on her black shirt.

"How was London?" 

Kat plopped down on a chair with a sigh. "Successful but exhausting. I can't believe that I actually liked living there. The traffic is horrible and all those people and the noise…"

"Good thing you're back in our beautiful, little sanctuary then. We've missed you. Even Darcy came looking for you every day." Sam shoved the loaf of bread he'd just moulded into the oven before he washed his hands and sat down at the table across from his younger sister.

"Really?" An amused smile played on Kat's lips. "And I thought Henry and Kal are all he cares about recently. How's Hen by the way? On the phone he said he's fine?"

"He is, I guess. No more panic attacks as far as I know. He's been in a pretty good mood all week, busy and full of energy."

Sam poured himself a glass of water and offered one to Kat too but she declined with a shake of her head.

"Where is he anyway?"

"At Mel's." 

Kat's expression changed from curious to annoyed in an instant. "Again? What's he doing there?"

"Having a coffee and a chat, I guess," Sam shrugged. "I don't know the details."

Kat rolled her eyes. "Of course not."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing."

"Then why do you say it?"

Kat looked at Sam with a frown. "Nevermind."

"No, come on. Spill it. Are you implying I know something I won't tell you?" Sam got a little cross now.

"I'm not implying anything. I just don't understand why he spends so much time at her place and I can hardly believe your old rugby mate hasn't told you." She crossed her arms and gave her brother an expectant look.

"He told me what I've just told you. What do you think they're doing? Having a secret affair?" He let out a snort, laughing just at the thought of Hen and Mel but when he saw the frown on Kat's face it dawned on him. "Wait? That's what you're thinking? That something's going on between them? You're jealous?"

"Does that sound so far-fetched? She tries to dig her nails into every man who seems to be good husband material. She tried it with you and you don't need a crystal ball to know that she's for sure trying it with Hen too. And for the record...I'm worried about him, not jealous." Kat was all worked up now and Sam could easily tell that he'd hit a sore point.

"Henry is not an idiot, Kat. From my own experience I can tell you that Mel is anything but an enigma. I could tell what she's looking for after our first and only date and a man like Hen, who has to deal with gold diggers all the time, will see right through her without problems. There's no need to worry. And no need to be jealous." He grinned at her and Kat made a face. "Did you even listen to me? I've just told you that…"

"That you're not jealous. Yeah...yackety-yack. I know you, sis. You're in love with him. Don't try to deny it." Kat sighed and surrendered with a resigned smile. "Fuck, yeah and I feel like I'm sixteen again, Sammy. Confused and clueless. What is it about him that makes me feel like that? Why does it have to be so damn complicated?"

"It's not complicated. Trust him and listen to your heart."

"It's not that easy."

"No, obviously it's not. So maybe you should just ask him about Mel and work on your trust issues."

"It's not like I haven't asked him about her before. But I guess you're right. I'm gonna try again and talk to him tonight." She gave her brother a nod.

"At the meeting of The Lonely Hearts Club?" Sam winked at her with a grin that made Kat chuckle.

"He's told you about it?"

"Yeah. He's talked about it all week. Running around with piles of books, volumes of poems as far as I could see. Copying entire pages by hand into a notebook. To be honest, I think it's the reason for his good mood."

****

Maybe, Kat thought, or maybe he just enjoys fooling around with Mel.

When Kat climbed up the rope ladder a few hours later she had managed successfully to avoid Henry up to this point. She had spent the rest of the day in her room, brooding over Sam's words, about Henry and Mel for the umpteenth time and about the club meeting of course. She was close to chickening out but she decided to get her shit together and to enjoy the time with Henry on their little stroll down memory lane. And maybe, just maybe, she would even find the courage to ask him about Mel.

"Kat!" Henry flashed her one of those billion dollar smiles when she entered the tree house. "There you are." He hugged her and gave her a look full of relief. "I haven't seen you all afternoon. I was a little worried you'd stand me up." 

"Neighbourly duties?" Kat asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

She gave him a smile and shrugged. "Well, you were not around when I came back…"

"Yeah...I was busy." He grinned sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. 

"Huh?"

"Sam said you went to visit Mel."

"Ah, yes. Yes, I did. You know we have a little chat every once in a while. She's...nice."

"How lovely."

"The room looks great, Hen." 

The awkward silence that fell over the room made them both uncomfortable. The unexpected tension left Henry in a state of insecurity. He'd hoped for an easy time with Kat, some intimate moments to share but the start of the night wasn't very promising. He cleared his throat before giving Kat a goofy smile.

"Shall we begin? I've prepared a little something. A few poems and...yeah." He shrugged helplessly and to his big relief Kat nodded with a smile. "Of course."

It was only then that Kat realized that Henry had decorated the treehouse with loving care. Blankets and cushions on the floor and candles in the corner of the room created a very warm and cozy atmosphere and a huge pile of books showed her that Henry was very well prepared for the first meeting of the Lonely Hearts Club since 1999. 

"Thanks, kitty. Let's sit." He plopped down beside the books, his long legs stretched out and Kat sat down cross-legged next to him, placing a little bluetooth speaker on the floor. "Prepare for some 90s flashback. I picked all the cheesy love songs we listened to non-stop." She started the playlist and soft music filled the air. Henry smiled at her and took a deep breath before he started to speak solemnly in his best statesman's voice.

The way he looked at her took her breath away for a moment, his gaze intense and pleading, he seemed so vulnerable it made her heart miss a beat. She wanted to kiss the insecurity and sadness that crossed his handsome face away but her own doubts made her fight the need to be close to him. Instead she took the notebook he handed her over and opened it. She stared at the name of the poem that was written down in Henry's neat handwriting on the first page. 

"I hereby declare the meeting of The Lonely Hearts Club open. Present are the founding members Katherine Elisabeth Spencer and Henry William Cavill."

Kat couldn't help but chuckle. He was such a dork.

"Would you do me the honor of reciting the first poem, dear kitty?" 

She knew it all too well and yet she'd almost forgotten it existed. Forgotten or repressed, it didn't really matter, she still knew it by heart, since it was the very poem she had read countless times after Henry had broken her heart. The fact that he knew it too, that he'd chosen these verse to be read out loud made her wonder if it was as familiar to him as it was to her. She cleared her throat, closed the book and her eyes and started to recite.

"When we two parted by George Gordon Byron."

She paused and took another deep breath.

"When we two parted

In silence and tears,

Half broken-hearted

To sever for years,

Pale grew thy cheek and cold

Colder thy kiss;

Truly that hour foretold

Sorrow to this."

Kat flinched slightly when she felt Henry's warm hand in hers. She looked at him and she wasn't surprised when he continued, his voice warm and soothing like thick, golden honey.

"The dew of the morning

Sunk chill on my brow—

It felt like the warning

Of what I feel now.

Thy vows are all broken,

And light is thy fame:

I hear thy name spoken,

And share in its shame."

The game was the same it used to be back in the days at Stowe. They took turns to read the stanza. The only difference was that they were holding hands now. Kat spoke the next words with a steady voice although on the inside she was trembling.

"They name thee before me,

A knell to mine ear;

A shudder comes o'er me—

Why wert thou so dear?

They know not I knew thee,

Who knew thee too well:

Long, long shall I rue thee,

Too deeply to tell."

She smiled at Henry, sensing that he needed her reinsurance for the last paragraph. He returned the smile and went on. 

"In secret we met—

In silence I grieve,

That thy heart could forget,

Thy spirit deceive.

If I should meet thee

After long years,

How should I greet thee?

With silence and tears."

They sat in silence for several minutes, comfortable silence this time, the quiet connecting them in a way words never could.

"I've got another one you might like." Henry said softly after a while. He reluctantly let go of her hand, took the notebook and searched through the pages. "Here it is."

"Bring it on." Kat smiled at him, hardly able to hide the loving feelings that spread inside her chest and her belly. Henry nodded and began.

"My heart leaps up when I behold

A rainbow in the sky:

So was it when my life began;

So is it now I am a man;

So be it when I shall grow old,

Or let me die!

The Child is father of the Man;

And I could wish my days to be

Bound each to each by natural piety."

"That's beautiful, pop." Kat blushed under Henry's smirk when he heard the nickname slip from her lips. "William Wordsworth?" she guessed.

"Yes. I'd never heard of it before, but Mel showed it to me the other day."

Kat's smile faded like a shadow in the dark.

"Oh really, did she? So that's what you're doing when you meet? You read poems to each other?" Her voice had chilled in an instant, her body language switched from open hearted to closed off. Henry was confused by the sudden change of tone.

"Yes, she told me about it when I mentioned that I was looking for romantic poems by british poets. And no, that's not what we usually do."

"And what do you do? Usually?" 

"Nothing special, as I've told you before. And honestly, Kat..it's none of your business anyway."

That felt like a slap in the face to her.

"Right...yeah...you're absolutely right. It's none of my business what you do or who you're fooling around with." Kat got up, tapping off non-existing dirt from her jeans with determined motions that showed how touched and churned up she was.

"Fooling around?" Henry got up too in a hurry, knocking his head on a branch that was part of the treehouse's roof. He cursed before he turned to Kat again. "You can't be serious. You don't really think I f...that I sleep with Mel, do you?"

"I don't know what to think, Henry. You spend so much time with her lately…"

"And I've told you it's harmless and I just visit our neighbour from time to time." He tried to take her hand but Kat took a step back, turning around to stare out of the window with a deep sigh.

"You still don't trust me." His voice was sad now and there was a note of disappointment too. 

"I really want to, Henry. But it's so hard…" Her shoulders were trembling and her soft sobs told him she was crying. He hugged her gently from behind, wrapping his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder. "I know, kitty. And I know that I'm the one to blame for this dilemma. But you have to believe me. There's nothing between me and Mel. I don't fuck her and I'm not interested in her. I only care about you. Okay?" The last words were nothing more than a whisper in her ear, a light breeze of tones that made her want to believe him. She nodded, leaning into his embrace but she wasn't able to give him a proper answer. The truth was she had no answer. She knew she loved him but what she didn't know was if she was going to allow herself to act accordingly. 

"Listen, Kat. This might not be the right time nor place to do this, but I need to ask you something. I'm going to Jersey next week for my mum's 70s birthday and I wonder if you'd want to come with me?"

Kat turned around in his arms abruptly, taken by surprise by his question. He didn't let go of her waist and so she found herself closer than ever to him, his gorgeous face right in front of her. "You want me to go to Jersey with you?" He nodded. "As my plus one. Yes." She freed herself carefully from his embrace. "But…"

"Let me explain." Henry took a step back to give her some space. "My mum invited me months ago and I accepted...of course...but to be honest, I've dreaded that family gathering since day one. All eyes will be on me, everyone's gonna try to wrap me up in cotton wool, walking on eggshells around me, wondering if I'm okay." He sighed and shrugged. "Don't get me wrong. I'm beyond grateful to have a family that is worried about me, loving people who care, but it also stresses me out. Having you by my side would be very helpful and besides that, I would hate to be separated from you again. Those five days last week were long enough, Kat and don't even make me start with the 22 years prior. You have no idea how much I missed you." He gave her a sheepish smile and she couldn't help but return it. "I missed you too, Hen. But I'm really not sure if this is a good idea. Your parents hardly know me."

"Don't be silly. They remember you very well. You spent Christmas 1998 with us. Please don't say you forgot about that...my parents invited you after I spent the summer with your family here in St. Ives."

"Of course I remember that. It was the most lively and jolly Christmas of my childhood. All those people at your parents house, the chatter and singing and goofing about, it was such a stark contrast to Christmas with my family."

"See...you can have that again. A crowded, noisy place, loads of laughter, alcohol, fun and food. When I asked my mum if it's okay to invite you she was so excited, Kat. She'd love to see you again and so would my dad and my brothers. And I'm sure you're gonna like my sisters-in-law and all my nephews and nieces." Kat smiled.

"That sounds good."

"So you're in?"

"I don't know. Where would we stay? At your parent's?"

"No. I always stay at a small cottage near the beach when I visit them. I bought it a few years ago."

Kat started to chew on her lower lip.

"Two bedrooms." Henry added with a wink before making the next try to take her hands. This time she didn't pull back. "Please say yes, Kat. Let's spend some time together. We can stay there for a week or so. When the whole Cavill bunch leaves after the celebration, it will only be you and me and lots of time to...to bond again. So what do you say?"

*******

#henry cavill #cavillry #henry cavill fandom #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill x ofc #henry cavill rpf #henry cavill slow burn #slow burn

[wheredafandomat]

Chimera 🌌

Part 4 : Unexpected allies

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6 years ago

It had been just over a week that you had been settling into the compound. Things were great. Cassie made sure you knew how to use all the equipment in the training room before she left for some sort of SHIELD mission but thankfully she did so you could train without having to ask someone how to pilot a drone. Everything was perfect, the only down side was not seeing Cassie as often anymore. When you were both at SHEILD, you’d see her loads throughout the day however now, you’d only see her when she’d come to visit Loki which surprisingly wasn’t too often. You had joined them both for dinner a couple of nights when they decided to order takeout however, you could tell that your presence probably wasn’t wanted especially from Loki who didn’t talk much. Overall, life as an avenger was well, nice.

When Saturday came, so did the pressure to attend the party that you were invited to when you were still with SHIELD. It was one of the agents birthdays and you had all planned a party at a venue that was out of town. You didn’t want to go because you knew that Andrew would be there but you couldn’t pass up the opportunity to see all your old friends plus it would be an opportunity to show them that you were doing perfectly fine without Andrew. In fact, more than fine, an avenger. Despite practically begging Cassie to come, she couldn’t so you’d have to go alone.

Opting for a simple black cocktail dress with thin straps, you paired it with some black stilettos. You kept your makeup to a minimum and tied your hair up out of your face. One of the perks of being an Avenger was that you were able to request a personal driver to where ever you went so travelling out of town was not going to be a hassle. Spraying some perfume and throwing your small clutch bag over your shoulder, you began to make your way into the elevator and towards the lobby.

“Looking good.” You heard as you walked towards the exit. Turning around, you were met by Stephen who had seemed to just arrive.

“Thanks doctor.” You smiled.

“Please, call me Stephen.” He insisted as he walked towards you.

“Thank you Stephen.” You replied.

“Doesn’t that just sound so much better. Where are you off to?” He questioned.

“It’s a SHIELD thing.” You shrugged.

“Well, have fun at this SHIELD thing.” He winked.

“Thank you Stephen” you said again before turning away, aware of his eyes still on you.

Entering the car, you gave the chauffeur the address of the venue and sat back, trying to relax for the rest of the journey. Once you arrived, you felt nauseous seeing your old colleagues standing around outside the venue. You cautiously stepped out of the car trying to stable your trembling legs. Looking at the place, you could tell that it was a mansion meaning there was a good chance you’d be able to show your face to a couple of people and then stand in the corner and avoid Andrew.

“Hey, y/n”

Hearing the voice, your heart dropped. So much for avoiding Andrew. Turning back to the car, you said thank you to the driver before he left. Once he was gone, Andrew approached you.

“You look great.” He commented, trying to pull you into a hug that you pushed your way out of. “What’s the matter? I don’t even get a hug anymore?” He scoffed.

“Hi Andrew” you said with a small smile.

“Come inside with me, let’s get you a drink.” He suggested as he put an arm around you and practically dragged you inside. Trying to seem inconspicuous, you smiled at all the people who greeted you on your way in. Once you were inside, Andrew guided you to the bar where he ordered you and him a drink.

“So, what’s it like hanging with the big guys?” He questioned as he passed you a drink.

“I am one of the big guys” you replied unamused.

“Of course of course, my mistake. Y/n, the avenger.” He emphasised.

“Oh my gosh, it’s y/n” someone else said joining the conversation. Looking at them, you realised it was two of your former housemate agents. You greeted them both with a hug whilst Andrew watched the interaction. Picking your drink up, you took a sip before nearly spilling it over yourself when Andrew wrapped an arm around you.

“Who would have thought it, I’m dating an Avenger.” He chuckled.

“Drew.” You cautioned as you side eyed him. “I’m going to go speak to some other people, I’ll see you later.” You said before following the two agents.

The rest of the night went great. You were met with loads of congratulatory drinks and praises. You tried to ignore Andrew staring at you as you danced with everyone, thanking the gods that tonight was actually going good.

“Y/n, can I speak to you?” Andrew asked as he leant down to whisper in your ear. Sighing, you left with him as he headed towards the door to go somewhere quieter.

“What is it?” You asked as you crossed your arms.

“You look gorgeous.” He grinned.

“Stop right there.” You said as you furrowed your brows.

“I want to give us another go.” He pleaded

“Andrew, just leave me alone. All this grovelling is embarrassing for us both.” You scoffed.

“Can we talk in the car, I don’t want everyone to hear our business?” He begged.

“No” you replied.

“Please y/n, I just want to talk and it’s cold out here, please.”

“You’re drunk.” You scolded.

“I’m not driving, I just want to talk.” He insisted.

“Fine.”

Andrew directed you to the car, opening the passenger side for you before entering himself. Once you were both sat, you turned to him.

“Go on, speak.”

“I bet you’re happy I let you go.” He muttered.

“Let me go? You didn’t let me go” you corrected.

“Now you’re an avenger. A hero” he snarled.

“Right, that’s enough. Bye Andrew.” You asserted as you turned and tried to open the door. “Let me out” you demanded when you heard them lock.

“Stay y/n.”

“Let me out” you demanded again when you saw Andrew starting the car “you’re drunk, you’ll get us killed. Let me out! Let me out Andrew this isn’t funny.” You desperately yelled.

“I just want to talk.” He urged, eyes trained on the road as he drove.

“STOP THE CAR!” You bellowed.

“SHUT UP” he shouted, almost swerving as he drove. Reaching into your bag, you pulled out your phone to call for help.

“What-what are you doing?” Andrew fumed, gaze flicking from the road to you as he snatched your phone out of your hand. Opening his window, he threw it out.

“ANDREW STOP!” you screamed. He didn’t reply, instead he pulled over into the parking lot of a diner.

“You ungrateful little bitch. I’ve taken you for a nice drive and all you’re doing is complaining.” He seethed “if you want to leave, leave.”

Even though you didn’t know where you were, you had no phone, no money, you still felt safer away from Andrew right now. Again, you attempted to open the door but it was still locked. Gasping, you felt Andrew pull your arm towards him.

“You come dressed like that, you’re dancing and you’re looking at me. I know you want me y/n. Do you still think about me? I think about you.”

“Andrew, let go of me.”

“Come on y/n, you want this.” He taunted as he put his lips to your neck. Frozen, you felt yourself stiffen under Andrews touch. Never before in your life had you ever felt this defenceless, hopeless. You tried to force yourself to do something, to move. His hand began touching your thigh as he moved it higher.

“I SAID GET OFF ME!” You screeched as you harshly hit his head against the window.

“Fucking crazy bitch” he said baring his teeth as he unlocked the door. Hearing the doors unlock, you quickly lunged out, almost falling to the floor as you exited. You ran from the car as you heard Andrew starting it before driving off. Hot tears of rage and relief streamed down your face as you ran towards the diner.

Entering, a lady asked if you were okay and directed you to a seat.

“Do you have a freephone I could use please?” You asked.

“Sure, come with me.” She replied.

Once you reached the phone, you called the one number you knew off by heart. You anxiously bit your lip waiting for Cassie to answer.

“Come on come onnn” you mumbled as you redialled her number hoping that she’d answer. You called her 3 times to no answer. You were about to sit back down until you decided to just try and call it again.

“Hello” you heard from the other side of the line.

“Loki?”

“Cassie is out, she’s left her phone. I wasn’t going to answer it but it keeps ringing.” He explained.

“Do you know when she’ll be back?” You asked in the hopes that it’d be soon so she could get you.

“No idea, why, has something happened? Are you alright?” He asked. The concern in his voice almost brought you to tears. “Y/n?”

“No” you said in a choked sob.

“Where are you?”

You told Loki where you were and he told you to stay put. Waiting for him, you sat back at a table where the lady poured you some coffee. Holding the hot mug, you recalled the events that lead you here. What was Andrew going to do? What if he had gotten you both killed? The coffee burned your tongue as you sipped it. Trembling, you tried to relax as you waited for Loki.

It had been about half an hour. Your head snapped up whenever someone entered in the hopes that it was Loki. You felt embarrassed. You had practically just met him like a week ago and now he was your saviour. Glancing upwards, you saw that Loki had arrived. You had to stifle the new tears that threatened to roll down your cheeks at seeing the familiar face.

“Hey, are you hungry?” He asked as he sat down.

“No” you replied shaking your head.

“Here, take this” he said, taking his coat off and handing it to you.

“Thanks” you smiled as you put it on “can we go home please?”

“Of course”

Standing up, you and Loki walked towards his car. You were surprised seeing that he decided to drive himself here instead of being chauffeured. He opened the door for you, closing it behind you before entering himself.

“Are you alright?” He asked as he started up the car “you don’t have to reply, just nod or shake your head.”

Nodding, you gave him a small smile before he started reversing from the parking lot to drive back. The drive was mostly silent save the odd sniffle that escaped you. Once you finally reached the compound, you quickly exited.

“Thank you.” You said to Loki before practically running towards the elevator scared that you’d break down in front of him.

Once you exited the elevator, you put your back against your wall and took a deep breath before sinking to the floor. You hugged your knees to your chest as you cried. Wiping your nose with your sleeve, you realised you were still wearing Loki’s coat. Your cries turned into a laugh as you silently thanked Loki. Thank goodness for Loki.

A/N: How many times have you watched this gif?

Me: Yes

Hope you liked the chap!

Tags:

@mischiefsarawr

[prettyboybarzal]

lessons in romance // nate mackinnon x reader

summary: nate mackinnon is really bad at keeping a steady girlfriend. so bad that’s become somewhat of a joke between him and the boys. but you come along and try to set him straight.

word count: 14k+

author’s note: it’s finally here. i’m honestly surprised at how fast i cranked this out... which is actually a LOT longer than most people write on here so mayb i shouldn’t brag lmao! this fic was inspired by THIS gifset. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE give me feedback/reblog!!!!!!

warnings: smut (i jumped out of my comfort zone people. i finally wrote some lmfao) & mentions of a past toxic ex

Weekends were better spent in bed or visiting family, not sitting in a crowded bar with men who reminded you slightly of your ex-boyfriend. You were probably overreacting a little bit because the guys truly meant well, but their overly boy-ish energy was startlingly similar to that of your ex. Maybe a few more drinks would help the cause and you could get passed the sex jokes.

Mel Landeskog was the reason you were there. She wouldn’t take no for an answer, much like her husband, and so you were sitting across the booth from some of the largest men you’d ever seen in your life. Gabe gave you the rundown of their names as they arrived though the only one you could remember was Cale. He was a perpetually blushing 21-year-old named after a vegetable; how could you forget him?

“Do you think Nate’s upset about this one?” Cale asked. The new topic of conversation was their friends’ disastrous date since he texted to tell them he was broken up with and was on his way to them. “They were sort of serious.”

“We’re about to find out,” Gabe announced, nodding towards the entrance of the bar. Nate was on his way to the booth, tired smile on his lips. As he got closer, he started shaking his head and the table erupted in chirps at his expense.

You recognized him from earlier at the Landeskog’s pregame. He was slipping out of the front door as you stepped in. His cologne was the type the good-looking guys always wear, and you weren’t disappointed when you looked up at him. He was handsome with the sleeves of his dress shirt rolled to his elbows and the top three buttons undone, and when he smiled, you all but swallowed your tongue.

He began to greet his teammates. The chain around his neck caught the light of the DJ booth and you found yourself gazing at it. You tore your eyes away from the gold at the sound of Mel’s voice introducing you.

“This is my girlfriend, YN, from my Saturday morning Cycle class,” she said. “And, YN, this is my husband’s boyfriend, Nate MacKinnon.”

He threw his head back in a laugh at Mel’s joke as he extended a hand to you. “Nice to meet you.”

You listened to the quips from his teammates, each one with their own opinion about Nate’s relationship or lack thereof. It seemed like this wasn’t the first time in recent months that he’d been broken up and it had become somewhat of a spectacle to the boys. Mel, who’d seen this song and dance one too many times, wrapped her fingers around your elbow and tugged you with her towards the bar.

“What was that about?”

“Nate can’t hold down a girlfriend,” she explained. “It’s been a joke since he first came here because they almost all have the same issue with him.”

“And what is that?”

“He’s not romantic enough.”

You glanced back over your shoulder and watched the boys laughing amongst each other. It looked like they were celebrating as they lifted their beers in a sad looking toast, and it hit you right where it hurt.

You really saw your ex-boyfriend in the group now and, though you tried not to make assumptions, you found it hard to set the first impression aside. The liquor in your system didn’t help. With each joke about his dating misadventures, you became less of a fan of him and by the end of the night you were bubbling over in annoyance.

Gabe and Mel offered Nate a ride home towards the end of the night and you managed to keep your expression neutral when he accepted. As they headed out to grab the car, you and Nate waited at the curb several feet away from each other.

“I’m sorry about your break up,” you offered after a moment of silence. The statement came out more like a question and Nate’s lips quirked up into a smirk at the inflection of your voice. “Sorry, I just can’t tell if you’re upset or not, so I don’t know if I should even offer my condolences.”

“I’m, uh, I’m not upset,” he began. “I saw it coming.”

“How so?”

“Let’s just say this isn’t the first time a girl’s broken up with me for not being romantic enough,” he said. Thoughts were filling your head faster than you could make sense of them. There was no reason for the situation to annoy you as much as it did. You didn’t know this guy and the odds that you ever saw him again were slim.

“So, if it’s not the first time, why hasn’t anything changed?”

“Excuse me?” he asked. There was a crease between his eyebrows. He hadn’t been expecting you to respond like that. You shouldn’t have. It wasn’t your business

“I mean, you act like a martyr when you probably would be successful in love if you just put in the romantic effort these girls are craving,” you said. Your anger had begun to boil over and words were spilling from your mouth faster than you could stop them. “Guys like you are the worst. You lead girls on and make them think they’re special. Next thing they know, they’ve been wasting time on you and your lack of effort.”

The comment made Nate take a step away from you. His eyebrows drew together in shock and confusion. As you spoke, he turned his body to you and crossed his arms over his chest. The moment you closed your mouth, he interjected. “You don’t even know me.”

“I don’t have to,” you argued, turning to him. You were in a stand-off with a man several inches taller than you, and to any passerby it probably looked a little bit funny, but you weren’t backing down. “I know guys like you. I’ve dated guys like you.”

Before Nate could continue arguing, the Landeskogs pulled up to the curb. Mel hollered out for you two and the topic of conversation was dropped.

---

You regretted everything you said to Nate the moment you woke up the morning after. It wasn’t like you to be so rude, especially not to someone you didn’t know. Your heart stopped every time Mel texted you in the days following. You thought that at any moment she’d confront you about what you said to him, but it never came. As the week carried on, you found yourself forgetting the harsh words spoken outside the bar and the worry stopped.

Until Thursday night.

The knock at your apartment door was unexpected. You met your roommate, Mara’s, narrowed eyes over the dirty dishes you were working on. By the look on both your faces, neither one of you had a guest on the way over. She turned on her heel to check the peephole and the next look she gave you was equally as confusing as the previous one. She still opened the door.

“Does YN live here?”

The voice sent shockwaves through your veins and you stopped your movements, plates held just above your head as you were about to slide them into the cabinet. Nate MacKinnon was at your apartment. Mara nodded at him slowly before stepping back to let him in.

“Hi,” he greeted. His hands were tucked into his sweatshirt pocket, legs clad in compression leggings and a pair of shorts. He looked like he’d just come from a workout and his hair was still wet from the shower he’d taken before coming over. “I hope you don’t mind. Gabe gave me your address.”

“No problem,” you told him through a shaky breath. “Come in. Come sit at the island.”

He removed his shoes and approached slowly, sending Mara one last smile as she crept off down the hall. You silently cursed her for leaving you with your shaking hands as you cleared the clutter from the countertop. You watched him as he settled into the stool across from you, mirroring the kind smile he was sharing with you.

“Can I get you anything? Water? Coffee? I have food, too, if you’re hungry.”

“Don’t worry about me,” he said. His voice was softer now than it had been before. “I wanted to talk to you about the other night. It won’t take long.”

“Oh?” you asked, trying to ignore the way your stomach dropped. You wanted to start apologizing right then. You didn’t have a reason to go and butt into his personal life like you had. You should’ve kept your mouth shut. Guys like him didn’t care about your opinions. “I’m sorry for what I said. When I get drunk, I have the tendency to shoot off at the mouth.”

“Don’t apologize,” he said. Your mouth snapped shut. “No one keeps me in check. All the guys think the fact that I can’t keep a girlfriend is a big joke because I’m so bad at dating. It shouldn’t be a joke. So, I’m sorry and thank you.”

You dropped your hands to the counter and leaned against it. The last thing you expected was for Nate to thank you, so you needed a moment to gather your thoughts. His eyes glistened as he watched you and then the corner of his lip quirked up because you started giggling.

“You should not be thanking me,” you said. With that simple statement, the tension in the air lifted. You turned your back on him, indicating that if the conversation must go on, you were going to be doing the dishes as well. “I was just being bitter the other night.”

“You had every right to be,” he said. “I was gloating.”

“You were kind of gloating,” you mumbled. You hadn’t meant for Nate to hear, and he knew that, but he laughed anyway. You turned to face him with an apologetic smile. “Sorry.”

“Stop apologizing,” he said. He didn’t even know why you were apologizing at that point. It seemed like you’d apologize for taking up space and that made him feel a bit sad. He smiled politely at you anyway, to signal he wasn’t annoyed by the apologies, and it lit up his features in a way you hadn’t noticed the other night. “Anyway, I came here for a reason.”

“Okay.”

“I need you to teach me to be romantic.”

He delivered it tentatively, as though he was afraid of the way you might react. In the split second that followed, your mouth open and closed twice as every possible response came to your mind. He waited patiently.

Finally, “You don’t even know me. How can you be so sure that I’m the right person to teach you this stuff?”

“You’re a girl,” he explained, deadpan. “Girls know romance.” You snorted at how adorably dumb he was. Your hand flew up to cover your mouth in embarrassment and your cheeks burned as he grinned at you, amused by the sound of your laugh. “What do you say?”

---

Mondays were always your least favorite day of the week. Every weekend, your workload piled up and most Mondays you could hardly take a lunch break because you were so busy getting shit done. Whenever you came home from work on Mondays, you were wiped. Mara always made sure to have dinner ready for you when you got in, and the two of you often sat on the couch while eating those nights.

That Monday, you were sure that you’d be in bed before the Bachelor even started. But then Nate showed up unannounced. Mara was in the middle of washing the dishes this time, so you were the one to open the door. He greeted you with a goofy smile and a large electrical wire. Without a word, you stepped to the side and he was kicking off his shoes to enter the living room. Mara caught the roll of your eyes as you followed him.

He was standing beside the television when you entered the room. The wire he’d brought with him was connected to his cellphone while he found a port for the other end. You sat at the corner of sectional and waited, yawns escaping your mouth every minute or so. The day had been long enough already.

Suddenly, the television lit up with his cellphone background on full display. He held it up to show you, a grin present on his face.

“I need your help,” he began. He tapped one of the dating apps on his home screen and immediately you were regretting letting him in. You realized he wasn’t leaving any time soon as he unraveled the cord and plopped down beside you on the couch. Mara entered the room, eyes catching on the beautiful brunette woman on the screen, and then she gave Nate a curious look. “Come on, Mara. Join us.”

An amused smile came to her lips as she sat on the other end of the couch.

“I am not swiping for you,” you grunted, rubbing at your eyes. “I have no interest in judging girls off these apps.”

“Relax, YN,” he said. “I’m not asking you to play matchmaker. Just help me talk to this girl.”

“You need help talking to girls?” Mara asked as she gave him the once over. You laughed out loud while Nate blushed.

“I don’t need help,” he began. He turned his attention back to the television and pulled up the profile of a beautiful brunette woman. “I just don’t want to come on too strong, or douche-y. This girl is perfect and I wanna take her out.”

“Can you two make this quick?” Mara asked. “The Bachelor’s on tonight.”

“And my bed is calling my name.”

Nate peered at you over his shoulder. He smiled at your tired eyes, drooping as you leaned your head on your hand. He leaned back, stopping inches from your face and said, “I’ll make it quick.”

To your surprise, and Mara’s delight, he reached up and ran his hand over your hair before turning back to the television. He gave a rundown about the girl on the television, but his words went in one ear and out the other. Your glazed eyes watched as he typed out messages to her, and you laughed when Mara made fun of the way he was talking. (“Why the fuck are you talking like that? Are you her father?”) Finally, he turned on you.

“Are you gonna help or what, love doctor?”

“Give me the phone,” you said, extending your hand. He plopped it into your palm and watched you type out the message on the television screen. It took you less than a minute to type out a sweet message asking the girl out on a date before you were shoving the phone back into his hand. “You overthink too much.”

“That’s it?”

“Short and sweet,” you noted with a shrug. “I’d say yes.”

Nate’s eyes cut to you and you felt a chill run down your spine at the intensity behind them. Mara cleared her throat as you diverted your attention from him, shaking the feeling you got from his baby blues. She smiled sweetly at the two of you. “Can I detach your phone from our TV now? It’s almost time for Bach.”

You peeled yourself off the couch and headed to the bathroom to wash your face before changing into sweats and a t-shirt. You returned to the living room to find Nate with his feet up on the coffee table. Mara had tuned the television to ABC and the Bachelor recap was playing. He looked up as you entered and frowned.

“Stay out here a little bit longer,” he proposed, bottom lip jutting out in a pout. “We’ll watch some of this and see if she says yes to the date.”

“Nate, I’m exhausted.”

“C’mon.”

You couldn’t say no, not when he was pouting like that. So, you rolled your eyes and walked around the couch to plop down in the spot you’d been before. Before long, your eyes were closing and you couldn’t keep them open any longer.

Nate didn’t realize you fell asleep, but he didn’t mind when you leaned against his arm as a pillow. He stiffened for a moment, unsure of what to do, but a soft snore escaped your lips and he found himself smiling down at your peaceful face. He didn’t move for the rest of the episode because he was too nervous to wake you. When the credits began to roll, he dropped a hand to your knee and shook you lightly.

Your eyes opened, bleary from sleep, and you found that you’d fallen asleep on him. You jerked away, realizing that it was probably too close for comfort, and smiled apologetically. He returned the smile before standing and gathering his things from the coffee table.

“Get some sleep,” he said on his way to the front door. You hummed in response, following him to the door to say a proper goodbye and lock up. He pulled you into a hug before going, shocking you once again by with how gentle he was despite hardly knowing you.

“Did she say yes?” you asked as he pulled away from the hug. “I almost forgot to ask.”

“Yeah, she did.”

---

Lesson #1: The First Date

In the chaos of the week that followed, you’d almost forgotten that you promised Nate your assistance before the date. You weren’t used to being accountable for someone else like you were now, so it wasn’t surprising.

“There is a man at reception asking for you.”

The office receptionist, Debby, was standing in the doorway with a giddy smile on her lips. You knew immediately from the look in her eye that the man at the front desk was going to be the talk of the office for a week.

You stood, following her out the door of your office and down the hall. As you rounded the corner to reception, you saw Nate leaning against the desk. He was sucking on a mint from the bowl in front of him and smiled wide when he saw you.

“What are you doing here?”

“I have my date tonight, remember?” he asked. One glance at your watch told you that you worked a little too late. You cursed under your breath, turning quickly to head back to the office and send one last email. Nate hesitated, but ultimately decided to follow you down the hallway. He eyed the pencil skirt you were wearing, eyes lingering a little too long on your ass. He shook his head from his trance, knowing damn well that he was just asking for trouble.

Nate lingered in the doorway of your office for a moment before his eyes landed on a picture frame across the room that caught his attention. It was a marble frame without a photo like it had been removed and never replaced. He picked the frame up and turned it over in his hands, then turned to you.

“You need a picture.”

“What?” you asked, eyes still trained on the screen. They flickered up to see what he was talking about and then got right back to work. “Used to be a picture of me and my ex. Nobody’s important enough to put in.”

Nate placed the frame down. He felt a pang of sadness for you in that moment, but distracted himself by moving onto the next shelf and playing with some of the desk games on it. He was in the middle of fiddling with your Rubiks cube when you stood from the computer.

“You’re wearing that?” you asked. Nate winced at the question, glancing down at the jeans and t-shirt he was wearing. When he looked back up, you were wearing a shit eating grin. “I’m fucking with you.”

“Jesus, YN.” He clutched his heart and released a deep breath. You rounded the desk and grabbed your jacket from the hook. As you swung it over your shoulders, Nate stepped up to help. You slipped your arms through the arm holes trying to suppress the flair up of butterflies in your stomach.

When you reached the sidewalk outside the building, you led him down the block to a florist. Their window displays were your favorite in the city and you often found yourself going out of the way to peak at them on shitty days. You daydreamed about the day someone bought you a bouquet from there specifically.

The bell above the door rang as you stepped in. The smell of fresh flowers hit your nose and you sniffed it in happily. You grinned back at Nate and he felt a tug at his heart at your excitement.

“Can I help you?”

You bounded over to the woman behind the counter, Nate following behind you a little awkwardly. You gave him an expectant look and then his brain finally caught up with the question. As he leaned forward to look at the flowers in the case in front of you, his hand pressed against the small of your back.

“What would you get?” he asked curiously. You took a sharp intake of breath at the lack of space between you and pulled away to look at the flowers.

“Sunflowers and baby’s breath are my favorites.”

Nate smiled at the woman behind the counter and repeated what you’d just said, adding, “It’s for a first date, so I don’t need it too big or anything.”

You laughed at his explanation, and then the blush that come to his cheeks when he realized how silly he sounded. Neither of you noticed the confused look on the florist’s face. She was about to comment on how cute the two of you were, and in hindsight she was glad she kept her mouth shut. He reached out and squeezed your arm as a warning to stop teasing him. You stepped away completely, still smiling stupidly as he turned to pay.

“I’d’ve put roses in there too,” you told him once you were back on the sidewalk. “But this is only a first date. It might’ve been a little intense.”

“Roses?” he asked. You hummed in response, plucking the flowers out of his hand as you continued in the direction of the restaurant he was meeting his date at. “Good to know, you know, for the future.”

The walk to the date spot was only about ten minutes long and most of it was spent talking about your plans for the weekend as opposed to his date. He was going to be away with the team and you had plans to visit family. You kept thinking to yourself that you needed to stop getting distracted by him and his good looks and his sweet disposition. He was dating someone, and that person was not and would not be you, but he kept surprising you with the way he weaseled himself into your life.

“We’ll have to hang out next week sometime, then,” he said, snatching the flowers back out of your hand playfully. You nodded, but you were taken by surprise. It didn’t make sense that he’d want to hang around you without getting something out of it, whether it was dating advice or something more. Clearly, Nate didn’t care and you were beginning to wonder if maybe you’d get a beautiful friendship out of this nonsense.

“Any last-minute advice?”

“Don’t say anything dumb,” you said to him, emboldened by the realization that you might actually be friends now. Nate laughed out loud. “You think I’m just being funny, but sometimes you say stupid shit.”

“Jeeze,” he muttered. “Way to fuck up my self-esteem right before a date.”

“Oh, please.” You rolled your eyes and came to a stop just before the crosswalk he’d be using. He slowed to a stop as well, the bouquet of flowers falling to his side as he looked down at you. You reached out to right them with an amused smile. “Careful with these.”

“Got it, boss.”

You stalled a moment more, gazing at the flowers. You almost felt jealous of the girl going to dinner with Nate because those flowers would look perfect in a vase on your dining room table. “God, I really hope she appreciates those.”

The tone of your voice took Nate by surprise. It sounded a little sad, and full of yearning, and he felt kind of bad that he’d be walking away with the flowers you’d been admiring the entire walk from the florist. Even so, you said your goodbyes and he watched you turn on your heel to head home. He felt stuck in place, eyes trained on your retreating frame while his feet were cemented to the sidewalk. Before he could second guess himself, and his motives, he called out your name.

“Wait, YN!” When you turned, he was halfway down the sidewalk to you and, once he was within arm’s length, he plucked a sunflower from the bouquet and extended it. “For you.” Your cheeks felt red hot as your fingers curled around the stem. You hoped he couldn’t notice a blush. If he did, he didn’t make it known and left with a simple, “I’ll talk to you later.”

A stupid smile sat on your lips the entire way home. You felt the thumping of your heart long after you’d entered your place and placed the flower in the dining table vase. No matter what you found yourself doing that night, Nate remained at the back of your mind. You swore to yourself that it was because you wondered how his date was going, nothing more. But, when your eyes kept finding their way to the sunflower on the dining room table, you worried that maybe the reason you couldn’t stop thinking about him was something more.

---

You grabbed dinner with Mel the next Tuesday. Because of your trip to visit family, the two of you agreed to take a week off and reschedule some sort of get together for Tuesday. Gabe was home so he’d be with Linnea, and you were just happy that it wasn’t Monday. She was in the middle of a story when your phone lit up beside you; Nate’s name was on full display.

When’s our next lesson?

You snatched the phone off the table and away from Mel’s prying eyes, hoping that it wouldn’t peak her curiosity. The movement itself was enough to stir her, though, and Mel was soon leaning forward to see what was going on. She reached out and pushed the phone down, craning her neck to read the text.

“Next lesson?” she asked, eyebrow quirking. “Who is this?”

“It’s Nate MacKinnon.”

You said it so quickly and so nonchalant that Mel actually continued picking at her brunch before she reacted. Her fork clattered to the plate. “Did you just say Nate MacKinnon?”

“This,” you began gesturing at her wild eyes and wicked smile, “is exactly why I didn’t tell you.”

“Why?” she asked, feigning innocence. “Because I’m totally going to take this and run with it?” You dropped your face in your hands. “You should go for it. He’s a little dumb, but mostly cute. You definitely have the patience to deal with him though.”

“Mel, it’s not like that at all,” you told her. “I’m helping him learn how to be more romantic.” Her eyebrows shot up to her hairline in shock. “I’m serious. You know just as well as I do that he’s bad dating. He asked for my help after we met. I have enough experience with douchebags to tell him what not to do.”

“You sure do,” Mel agreed. You laughed at her response and an easy smile spread across her face. “Maybe teaching him a thing or two about how to be romantic will remind you of what you deserve.”

You sighed, picking up the coffee in front of you to take a sip. Mel knew better than anyone, besides Mara, how shitty the guys in your life had been. She met your ex last year just before your break up and she hated him from the moment you introduced the two. He never deserved you and her heart broke the longer you spent wasting your time on him. When you finally ended it, she was your biggest supporter.

You left the message unanswered, not wanting to give her anymore ammo in what was sure to be her new mission. When she got up to head to the bathroom before the check came, you opened the message from him. The last conversation was from Saturday night and he was letting you know that the girl he’d gone out with was looking forward to their next date.

What do you need help with now?

Do you know how to cook?

---

Lesson #2: A Homemade Meal

“I can’t believe you don’t know how to cook,” you grunted as soon as Nate pulled his apartment door open on Friday night. The grin on his face was anything but apologetic and you pushed past him with two large grocery bags in hand. You brought them to the kitchen and began unpacking them onto the counter.

“I do know how to cook, by the way,” he said, stepping up beside you to help you remove everything from the bags. You eyed him skeptically. “Mostly just the basic meats and vegetables.”

“You can’t cook a date your pregame meal.”

Nate knew that. He wasn’t that stupid, but he did love saying stupid shit around you. You tended to roll your eyes at him, but your lips always gave away how you really felt about his stupidity. The right side always curled up into a smirk, like you were trying to fight the laughter bubbling in your chest. He loved it when you did that.

“Is this, like, a meal your ex used to make?” he asked after grabbing some spices from the cabinet. You were grateful that his back was turned because the easy smile on your lips disappeared at the reminder of him. You busied yourself with the pot of water on the stove and set it to boil.

“No, my ex never actually made dinner for me,” you answered in a poor attempt to keep your voice steady.

Nate stopped prepping the meat and turned to face you. Questions sat on the tip of his tongue, begging for him to ask, but you wouldn’t look at him. He felt a little bit angry at your confession, though he couldn’t quite place why. Admittedly, he had been that boyfriend before – the one that didn’t cook dinner. Now, he was mad at himself for ever being that guy.

When you didn’t turn to look at him, he dropped the subject. You worked in silence, you busy with the pasta and him with the chicken. As you waited for the food to be ready, you hiked yourself up onto the counter. Nate grabbed a bottle of red wine from the end of the counter and poured glasses for the both of you.

He stood across from you with a dish towel over his shoulder and his own glass of wine in his palm. He asked about work and you filled him in on all the hot office gossip. The smile on his face didn’t fall once as he listened to your stories, and he never tried to change the subject or take over the conversation for himself. After a while, you stopped.

“I’ve been talking forever.”

“Yeah, and I’ve been enjoying it,” he told you. You laughed. “I wish I could be a fly on the wall in your office.”

Feeling a bit bolder, you kicked your foot out and nudged his side. “Maybe I can take you to bring your pet to work day.”

Nate’s jaw dropped, a reaction you weren’t expecting, and you began laughing hysterically at his surprise. He placed his wine glass down beside him and took a step closer, wrapping a hand around your ankle to tug you closer to the edge of the counter. You yelped in surprise.

“Pet?” he asked. You wiggled your foot out of his grasp, giggles falling from your lips as he dropped his hand to his side. The oven started beeping, interrupting whatever moment you were having before it could continue. “Saved by the bell.”

“Looks good, Nate,” you praised as he pulled it out of the oven. “My mouth is watering.”

“Go sit down,” he ordered. “You have to evaluate my presentation and make sure I look good.”

Nate entered shortly after you sat down and placed the plates on either side of the table with a smile. He slipped back out and returned with the wine. There was mischievous glint in his eyes as he topped your glass off and added to his.

“How is it?” he asked, leaning back. A look of cockiness flashed over his features and you felt it in your stomach when you looked at the way his arms were crossed and his biceps filled out the sleeves of his t-shirt. You picked up your utensils and cut into the meal, picking up a bit of each piece before putting it in your mouth.

Nate leaned forward eagerly. He watched your eyes light up when the flavor hit your tongue and he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. You nodded emphatically as you swallowed your first forkful. He cut into his own meal and the moment he took a bite, he moaned. The meal was so good that conversation was sparse and, by the end, it looked like your plates had been licked clean.

You didn’t stop Nate from filling your glasses again, though you figured you should have. The third glass always lowered your inhibitions.

“How pissed off would you be if I asked you about your ex?”

“Not pissed off,” you answered. You took a sip of the wine, then leaned your cheek in your palm as you spoke. “What do you want to know?”

Nate sat up at this, suddenly realizing that he hadn’t prepared himself with a question because he didn’t think you’d give him the go ahead. He let out a tuft of breath, took a sip from his glass, and thought. Finally, he asked, “Why’d you break up?”

“How long do you have?”

“As long as you need,” he answered. His voice was soft, comforting, and you felt yourself relax into the question.

“Honestly, I didn’t want to break up with him,” you began. “And, if I didn’t have friends like Mel and Mara, I might still be with him. Things have changed now, though. I realize what a crap human being he was but, if I stayed with him, I don’t think I would’ve realized how much better I deserved.”

“Did you fight a lot?”

“Do I seem like the fighting type?” you teased. He shook his head. “He did enough fighting for the both of us. He would yell at me for no reason sometimes, just because he felt like it.”

Nate was angry. His features were contorted in distaste as you told him about your ex. Even though you tried to make light of the situation with a few light-hearted jokes, Nate couldn’t find it within in him to react with laughter. You deserved so much better than what you’d been given.

“When I broke up with him, Mara was there. We packed my things and moved it all out. I was going to leave a note, but he came home from work early and caused a scene. He went out the night after and sent me all these videos and pictures of him out with his friends. They were flipping me off, girls were draped all over him, etcetera. I blocked him the next morning and I haven’t seen him since. That was over a year ago.”

“Fuck,” he muttered, dropping his head in his hands. He felt ashamed. “That’s why you yelled at me.”

“Yep,” you answered. “Emotions got the best of me.”

“I don’t blame you.”

Silence filled the room and you felt vulnerable. You didn’t share the story about your tumultuous relationship often, but with Nate it just slipped out. You grabbed your glass from the table and finished it off.

“I’m not staying for another,” you announced. Nate sat back, his face flashing with an offended expression. As you gathered the plates from the table, you tried to ignore the knots in your stomach that were becoming more and more prevalent when he was around. “Nothing good ever happens after the third glass. But, if I was your real date, I would definitely stay for a fourth and you would probably get to kiss me at the end of the night simply for how good that meal was.”

The words fell from your lips so easily that it shocked you and you hoped that the playful tone of your voice wouldn’t scare him off. You gathered yourself before turning back to look at him. He was still sitting at the table, chair pushed back with one arm over the back of it. The way he was looking at you was lethal, eyes drinking you in as you stood in his kitchen. You couldn’t tell if you were imagining the tension or it was real.

“Thank you for dinner,” you said finally. You grabbed your bag from the counter and pulled it over your shoulder as you headed for the door. Nate stood then to walk you out, pulling the door open as you slipped into your sneakers. “It was delicious.”

“Thank you for teaching me how to cook something actually good,” he said. “Poor girl would’ve been eating chicken and vegetables or pasta if you hadn’t come by.”

“Can’t let that happen, can we?” you asked. “Let me know how dinner goes.”

Nate leaned down, wrapping an arm around your waist to tug you into a warm embrace. You melted into his arms as yours came up and around his neck. For a moment, the two of you just stood there in each other’s arms. You wondered if he could feel the beat of your chest again him. It sped up as his hands flattened against your back, crossing over each other to engulf you completely.

“I’m not that kind of guy,” he said. He leaned his cheek on the top of your head and his chest rumbled beneath your own cheek as he spoke. “You know that, right?”

Your blinked away tears before he couldn’t notice then and nodded in response to his question.

When he pulled back, he leaned in to press a kiss to your cheek and his lips caught the corner of your mouth. An electric shock coursed through your bloodstream and you pulled back quick before offering one last smile and tossing a goodbye over your shoulder.

---

Nate called you the next Friday night with plans for Saturday.

“Mel and Gabe invited a bunch of the guys over and she told me I should see what you were doing tomorrow.” he said. “I feel like I haven’t talked to you much since last week. The guys would love to meet you.”

“Meet me?” you asked. “So, it’ll be more than just the ones I know?”

“A few more,” he answered with a laugh. “They’ll love you, okay? I’ll be at your place to get you at 5:30.”

It was the first time you were going to see him since you made dinner together last Friday. You exchanged a few texts throughout the week, but nothing of substance. You knew his dinner date went well, though you didn’t know to what extent. You found yourself wondering if she stayed for that additional glass of wine after dinner, or if she stayed for the night after.

He showed up to your apartment wearing a white dress shirt, sleeves rolled to his elbows. You welcomed him in while you went back to your room to get your heels on. He gaped at the dress you were wearing as soon as you had your back to him. His eyes wandered over your curves as you bent to grab your heels from the floor in your bedroom. When your dress slid up your thighs, he had to force himself to look away.

You tried to get more details about his dinner date out of him on the way to Mel’s, but he kept quiet. She liked dinner, she stayed for an extra glass of wine, and then she went home at the end of the night. An invisible weight lifted from your shoulders upon hearing she didn’t stay the night and you settled back into his passenger seat.

Nate noticed the way you relaxed into the seat and tore his eyes from the road for just a moment to sneak a peek at you. You were watching the world go by from the window, unaware that he was even looking at you. When he turned his attention back to the road, all he could think about was his sweaty palms and accelerated heartrate. Why did he care so much about what you thought?

Everyone was already at the house when you pulled up. The two of you walked up the driveway, his hand against your lower back much like it had been in the florist. Mel opened the door, lunging to sweep you into her arms and whisk you to the kitchen, her husband and your, well, Nate left behind.

“Thanks for having me, Mel.”

She handed you a drink complete with a salted rim and said, “I’m glad Nate asked if you could come.”

“Nate asked?” you repeated. She affirmed with a nod and ushered you to join the others in the living room while she and Gabe finished dinner.

You swore half the team was there, which meant not one seat was open on their couch. As you passed Nate, he grabbed your hand and sat you on the arm of his chair. He pulled your legs over his lap and began introducing you to the boys you didn’t already know.

You caught Cale’s eyes and felt heat rise to your cheeks. Out of everyone in the room, he was the only one making note of the lack of space between you two. Though you weren’t technically sitting in his lap, it still felt a little inappropriate. Nate’s hand was like fire where it rested against your thigh and you had to remind yourself to stop peeking at the placement.

Nate lied about your invitation to dinner, and for what? He could’ve just invited you himself instead of disguising it as a joint decision between him and Mel. What was he so afraid of that he couldn’t man up and admit he wanted you there? Better yet, why didn’t he ask Gianna?

You somehow ended up seated away from Nate at the dinner table. Cale settled in on one side of you and EJ occupied the other. Across from you sat JT and Tyson, bickering as always. You don’t know how you ended up separated from Nate, but you welcomed it because you needed the breathing room.

The meal was delicious, but Nate couldn’t even enjoy it because you were so far away. He was going to get fucking whiplash because of the way he kept looking back to see who you were talking to or hear what you were laughing at. How did he even end up this far down from you?

On the other hand, he couldn’t stop the smile that kept creeping up to his lips when he saw you with his teammates. They loved you, probably almost as much as he did, and he was proud to have you by his side that night. But then came the harsh reality that you weren’t actually his to show off.

When the party relocated, he made sure to slide up next to you on the way to the couch. EJ’s laughter mocked him, but you didn’t catch on to his teammate’s playful ribbing. With Gabe and Mel’s eyes in the room, he didn’t pull you over his lap and opted to lower his arm over the back of the couch instead. There were just inches between your skin and his but, after having you on his lap earlier, it felt like miles.

Drinking games were played, stories were shared, and you all left the house with full bellies and large smiles. Nate was driving, so he eased up on the drinks after dinner. You, on the other hand, were feeling just as free as you did after three glasses of wine at his place last week, and feeling daring enough to ask him the question that’s been on your mind all night.

“Why did you tell me that Mel asked you to invite me?”

“What are you talking about?”

“When you invited me, you said that Mel told you to,” you explained in a slow voice as if you were breaking the situation down to a child. “But she said that you asked if you could invite me.”

“Why does it matter where the invite actually came from?” he asked. A slight panic was rising in his chest because he didn’t have an answer for you. This wasn’t supposed to come back around to you. “Everybody wanted you here anyway.”

“Why didn’t you ask Gianna?” you asked, stepping down to join him on the path to the driveway. He rolled his eyes at this, and you noted it because though you’d done it to him many times, he’d never done it to you. He began walking, so you followed. “Are you going to answer my question?”

“Because I didn’t want to introduce her to everyone yet,” he answered. “You just fit in with us.”

Nate saw your face fall and decided not to push the conversation any farther. He said something wrong, but he didn’t know what. As far as he thought, he was complimenting you. He was complimenting how easy going you were, how his friends got along with you so easily. You were already a part of the group. It was great.

You continued along to the car in silence, not bothering to argue with him over a dumb comment. He wanted friends, so you were giving him friends, but the touches and the invite to team dinner was something more than friends. You needed distance. And he needed to figure his shit out, fast.

---

Lesson #3: Meeting the Friends

Something changed. When Nate dropped you off that night, he left you with a half-assed hug and a quiet goodbye. You couldn’t catch a wink of sleep that night because something changed. But then, Nate texted you tomorrow and tried to carry on as normal. Things weren’t normal.

And you knew that for sure when Nate didn’t invite you to EJ’s house the next weekend. Mel invited you instead and since you could never say no to Mel, you went. The thought of texting Nate to let him know passed briefly through your head, but the sheer fact that he hadn’t even bothered to talk to you about it in the first place was enough to decide against it.

When you entered EJ’s living room, you knew exactly why he hadn’t asked. Gianna was sitting on his lap, fingers curling through his hair as they talked. Anger rose in you no matter how hard you tried to suppress it. Just last week he said he didn’t want to bring her around and now she was here? Now she was here and he couldn’t even talk to you?

There was an uproar as Nate’s teammates noticed you standing in the doorway and Nate’s eyes cut to you in surprise. You lifted your hand in a pathetic wave before Cale was wrapping his arm around your shoulders and leading you to the kitchen.

“Who’s the girl with Nate?”

“His new girlfriend,” you answered, hoping that you didn’t sound bitter. “I don’t even know if that’s the right title for her, but they’ve been on a few dates.”

Cale let out a soft hum, his tone indecipherable, just as Tyson entered the room.

“What’s the deal with Nate’s new girl?” he asked as soon as he saw it was just you and Cale in the room. When you didn’t answer, he nudged you for an answer.

“What do you mean?” you asked.

“Well, she’s no you.”

---

Nate couldn’t help but ask himself, “What the fuck are you doing?”

As you were pulled into his teammates arms, he watched and couldn’t decide whether he wanted to get up and hug you too or if he just wanted to disappear. When Gianna’s fingers gripped his bicep, he decided he wanted the latter.

That’s when you looked at him, of course, and the smile that was on yours lips faded just a bit. At least, that’s what he thought. You lifted your hand in a wave before Cale was looping his arm around your shoulders and directing you towards the kitchen.

“Who was that?” Gianna asked, fingers curling into the hair at the nape of his neck.

He looked up at her with a simple answer. “One of our friends.”

Gianna kissed him and for the first time since he met you, Nate thought about what it would be like to kiss you instead. He brought her to EJ’s in a pathetic attempt to right the way he was feeling about you, but it only made it worse.

---

“Nate was weird last night,” Mel murmured after Cycle the next morning. You were waiting for her to say something. Since all the guys made comments the night before, you knew Mel was next. “Did you guys fight?”

“Fight? Me and Nate?” you repeated, stalling for time. “We didn’t fight.”

“What did you think of his girlfriend?”

“I actually didn’t get to talk to her,” you answered. You shrugged, giving the illusion that you didn’t care all that much even though you were fuming. After all the help you’d given him, he couldn’t be bothered to introduce you to her? And that wasn’t all. He hardly spoke to you all night, only entertaining conversations with you when someone else was around. You ended up spending most of the night with EJ.

“My sitter just bailed for tomorrow.” She’d been tapping away at her phone for a few minutes, no doubt panicking to Gabe. You watched her a moment longer as you wondered what her plans were for the next day. Then, it occurred to you.

“There’s a game tomorrow, right?” you asked. She nodded, still typing out messages to whoever was on the other end of the phone. “I can watch Linnea tomorrow. Don’t worry about finding a sitter.”

“I couldn’t ask you to do that.” She waved you off absentmindedly and continued talking, “Besides, I thought Nate had a ticket for you or something. Didn’t he ask you to go?”

“Tomorrow?” you said incredulously. “No, absolutely not. Isn’t it like a WAG game? It would make no sense for me to be there.”

“Oh,” she murmured. “I just thought that he told Gabe,” she paused and noticed your set jaw. You were clearly not Nate’s biggest fan at the moment, so she decided to tread carefully. “You know what? Nevermind. I would love it if you could watch Linnea.”

---

As expected, Linnea was an angel the next day. You spent the time lounging in their living room with the game on TV while you played together. She took a bottle in the middle of the game and you brought her to her nursery once she’d been burped to rock her to sleep. But, you couldn’t quite peel yourself from the chair to put her in her crib. She was sleeping so peacefully and for the first time in a while you felt calm, so you stayed with her in your arms long after she’d fallen asleep.

You didn’t know what time it was when Gabe and Mel got home, but you heard their car doors close. You waited for them to happen upon you in the nursery, so you were surprised when it was Nate that knocked at the door.

“Hi,” he whispered, stepping into the room. He studied the decorations as he approached the rocking chair you were sitting in. When he stepped up beside you and admired Linnea, you tried not to look up at him. You knew it wouldn’t help the butterflies in your stomach, but you did it anyway. He was smiling down at the peanut in your arms. “Mel and Gabe are in the kitchen. They saw you on the baby monitor and told me to come get you.”

“Okay, I’ll put her down and meet you in there.”

“I can wait for you,” he said, stepping away. You stood, cradling Linnea to the crib and then craning to put her down in the center. Nate was watching you intently from the doorway with an unreadable expression on his face.

He stepped out into the hallway first, but he wasn’t walking towards the kitchen. He stood, waiting for you to stepped out into the hallway and look at him. You gave him a half-assed smile, still feeling a little hurt that things had been so weird between you two, and he asked, “Are we okay?”

“We’re fine,” you answered. He wasn’t convinced, but you reached up and shoved him lightly to get him to move down the hall. He didn’t budge, hand coming up to grasp yours against his chest. The beating of his heart sat right at your fingertips. “How was your game?”

“It was good,” he answered. “I wish you were there.”

“Well, then, you should’ve asked me to come,” you said, quite boldly. His lips parted, but whether it was to speak or not you wouldn’t know because you were continuing down the hallway without him.

You slipped into the kitchen to find Mel, leaving the men on the couch in the living room. The moment you stepped in, she was turning to greet you with a smile. You hissed, “Are you behind this?”

“I mentioned you were babysitting, his eyes lit up, and Gabe was the one to invite him over.”

“Team effort?”

She feigned an apologetic smile before ushering you out to rejoin the boys. Gabe got the fire going and Mel curled in his chest once he settled back on the couch. You sat on the other end, legs extended towards Nate in the corner. You felt his eyes whenever there was a suspended silence. You knew he was thinking about you, and selfishly you relished in the attention.

“YN, did you know that Nate’s parents were visiting next weekend?” Gabe asked during a lull in conversation. Nate glared at him, but the Swede happily ignored his buddy at the center of the couch. His eyes cut to you.

“I didn’t,” you answered. “But that’ll be fun. I know how much you missed them.”

All he could offer was a stupid ‘yeah’ before Mel swooped in to save the entire group from a very awkward moment.

Nate was going to kill Gabe. He was going to kill Gabe, but first he had to make a decision. He knew exactly what he had to do. It felt like you were a thousand miles away, not only physically but emotionally. Gabe should’ve kept his mouth shut. He was going to have you meet his parents, he just hadn’t gotten the chance to ask. Now, he looked like a dick. You couldn’t even look him in the eye.

“I was going to tell you about my parents,” he said, practically chasing you down the driveway after you ducked out while he was in the bathroom. To his surprise, you stopped walking and waited for him to catch up. “Seriously.”

“It’s getting hard to believe that, Nate,” you said. “I don’t know what’s going on in your head.”

Nate felt his heart sink. He began to rack his brain for a way to salvage the conversation, but it was too late by the time you reached your car. You stopped before opening the door to look up at him.

“You’re thinking too much.”

“I just—I know you’re upset with me,” he began. “I want to make it better. We haven’t really talked since EJ’s, and that’s on me.”

“Were you going to invite me today?” you asked. He gave you a curious look. “To the game. Mel mentioned something about it at Cycle. That you told Gabe you were thinking about giving your ticket to me.”

Nate ran his hand over his face. The Landeskogs had really gotten him into some trouble here, and he wasn’t sure it was accidental.

“You’re the one I wanted at the game,” he admitted. “I wanted to invite you, but I knew how bad it would look if I didn’t ask Gianna.”

“So, you invited her,” you concluded.

“No.”

You looked at him in shock, mouth agape, and asked, “You’d rather no one go than give the ticket to her?”

“Well, when you put it that way,” he grumbled. You threw your arms up in surrender, hoping the words would sink in. “I don’t know, YN.”

“Yes, you do,” you argued. He kept his mouth shut at that, knowing you had enough. You sighed heavily, allowing the conversation to roll off your back. “When are your parents going to be here?”

“Saturday morning.”

“What are you planning to do?”

“They’ll be at my game in the afternoon and then I was getting us a reservation for dinner,” he trailed off only momentarily. “I haven’t made it yet because I was going to invite you, but Gabe beat me to the punch in there.”

“What about Gianna?”

“YN, if I didn’t want her at my game, why would I want her to meet my parents?” he asked. He made it sound like you were asking the stupidest question in the world. But, he wasn’t answering the most important one. Was he breaking up with her? You wanted to ask, but part of you didn’t want the disappointment. He worried while you thought.

“I’m around on Saturday,” you answered. He smiled, and you forced one back. You hated the feeling between you two. The air between you had never been so stuffy and you wanted to clear it. “Anything else you wanna tell me before the Landeskogs do? Is Sid actually your long-distance girlfriend?”

Nate laughed loudly as he stepped away. He answered your question cryptically, “No, nothing to tell you right now. Not yet.”

---

Lesson #4: Meeting the Family

You planned to meet Nate at his apartment before dinner since his parents had gone to the hotel upon arrival. On the way, you picked up a box of pastries from your favorite bakery. You were taught to do little things for important people, and anyone who was important to Nate felt important to you. You tried not to think about the implications of having dinner with his parents, but it was hard to shake the nerves.

“What’s this?” he asked as soon as he opened the door. His finger slid over the logo on the top of the pastry box, eyes catching on the word bakery. When he looked up at you, his eyes were shining. “For me?”

“For your family,” you told him. “Don’t get any ideas.”

“I thought maybe you heard about my break up and you were trying to comfort me,” he said like it wasn’t breaking news. “I’ll put these in the kitchen.”

“You broke up?” you asked, following him to the kitchen. You stopped in the doorway as he put the pastries on the counter. He nodded simply as he cleared some clutter from the countertop. You could see his muscles moving beneath his navy polo. Guiltily, you couldn’t stop yourself from admiring the way the sleeves hugged his biceps or the wide expanse of his back and shoulders. “What happened, Nate?”

“We can talk about it later, alright?”

“Are you single or not?” you asked. Nate caught the frustration in your tone and he’d be lying if it didn’t make him want to kiss you right then. You needed to know what was going on with him, and that made him feel good about whatever was going on between you two.

Nate started to exit the kitchen, but stopped in the doorway beside you. You were crowded against his chest as he smiled down at you and answered, “Yeah, I’m single.”

You released a breath once he stepped out of the doorway. He slipped his shoes on while you stood nearly the front door. He caught the look on your face, a little scrunched up as you spaced out. You were thinking too much, worrying about what happened with him and Gianna. When he walked back over to the front door, he took you by the hips and said, “We can talk about it later, if you want. Right now, I just want to be with you and my family.”

---

“I’m nervous,” you admitted as Nate pulled up to valet outside the restaurant. He looked at you in shock. “Don’t make fun of me.”

“I’m not gonna make fun of you,” he promised. He reached over and dropped his hand to your thigh. You pouted at him, and his first instinct was to lean over the center console and kiss it off your lips. He knew better than to risk it all just before dinner, so he grabbed your hand and dropped a kiss to your palm instead. “You’ll be fine. No need to be nervous.”

A heavy sigh left your lips as he stepped out of the car. He rounded the front and opened the passenger door for you, grabbing your hand as you stepped out. After he handed his key to the valet, he laced his hands in yours and led you into the restaurant.

The MacKinnons were already at the table that had been reserved for them. There was uproar of cheers when they saw Nate walk in. You stole a peek at his face and the pure joy on it set your heart aflame. He dropped your hand as you approached the table to hug his parents and sister. They introduced themselves to you as well, sweeping you up in tight embraces like they had with Nate.

“It’s great to finally meet you,” they spoke as they hugged you.

Nate pulled your chair out from across his mother and then situated himself beside you. The menus were passed out and Nate whispered suggestions in your ear while his family members debated their own meals. She took the time to calm her nervous. Parents loved her, so there was no reason to freak out. Eventually the drinks were handed out, orders were taken, and the chaos at the table stopped.

“Now, how’d you two meet again?” his mom asked. You looked at each other, stupidly, both stammering in response until Nate got his shit together.

“We met through friends,” he answered simply. Then, his lips curled up and he said, “She yelled at me.” You dropped your face into your hands, embarrassed by the picture he was painting of you, but they took it in stride, laughing at your expression. “It wasn’t that bad.”

He continued, “As you guys know, I’ve been very unlucky in my personal life.” Sarah snorted at this. Their mother smacked her knee as a scolding. “I literally suck at being romantic and all the guys were joking around about it after I’d just been broken up with. YN called me out, so I asked her to teach me how to be romantic.”

“Well, what’d you learn?”

“How to cook a meal other than my pregame types, and I also have a new favorite florist,” he said. He reached into his back pocket for his wallet and flipped it open to slip out their business card. You didn’t realize he grabbed one. “There are some other things, like her wine rule.”

“Wine rule?”

“Nothing good ever happens after the third glass of wine,” you explained. They laughed at that, though they seemed bewildered by your reasoning.

Nate elaborated, “It just means that if your date stays for a fourth glass, you’ll probably get lucky.”

This earned him a smack on the arm from both his sister and yourself.

Nate’s family was just as kind as he was and it was clear how much they all adored each other. You fit in seamlessly, at least that’s how it felt, and when they asked the waitress to take a picture of them, Nate tugged you into his side to keep you in the frame.

“Take one without me,” you urged him. He just shook his head, gazing down at the picture on his phone. He passed it off to his parents and sister for approval. “Nate.”

“I want you in the picture,” he whispered to you. His hand came up to the back of your neck and he pulled you in to place a chaste kiss to your temple. He pulled away, like kissing you in public and on the forehead was normal now, and asked, “How was your food?”

When you got back to his place after dinner, you presented his mother with the pastries and earned a hug and kiss on the cheek as a thank you. They settled into the kitchen as he made drinks, chatting as a family about the people back home and his life in Denver. You slipped out to go to the bathroom, and give them some alone time.

“I like her,” you overheard his mother say as soon as you slipped out of the kitchen. You slowed your steps on your pursuit to the bathroom even though you knew it would be best to keep walking. You couldn’t help but be a little nosy.

“That’s good to hear,” Nate said. You smiled to yourself. “I like her, too.”

---

Nate’s family only stayed for another hour before you were bidding them farewell from his front door. They squeezed you and thanked you for the pastries, and then began inviting you to visit before Nate had to shut it down. Your heart felt full after spending the night with them, but sitting alone in Nate’s apartment in anticipation of what was to come was scaring the shit out of you.

Your hands were a little shaky and your palms were definitely sweaty. There was change coming, change that was already present, and you were both excited and terrified for it. Nate reentered the apartment not long after. When he saw you sitting on the couch, he released a breath he’d been holding.

“Are you going to stay for another glass?” he asked after locking the door behind him. “That one’s only your second.”

You eyed his smile, heart beat stuttering a bit beneath his gaze, and lifted the glass to your lips to finished what was left. You nodded and followed him into the kitchen. While he filled both your glass and his, you picked yourself up onto the counter like you’d done so many times before.

“I did a bad thing,” he murmured after handing your glass back to you. You raised a brow at him as he reached over to one of the cabinets and opened it to reveal two pastries in a Ziploc bag. “I stole two of them from my mom.”

“Nate!” you exclaimed. He chuckled at your exasperation. “I can bring you to that bakery whenever you want! Your parents don’t live here! It was a gift!”

“And they have the other eleven pastries,” he argued. “They’re not going to miss two.”

Reluctantly, but still with a smile, you took a pastry from his hand. You bit into it at the same time, eyes lighting up at the taste. At the sight of each other’s faces, you were doubled over in laughter before you had the chance to swallow what was in your mouth. You looked away from him to regain composure and only looked back when you were sure you wouldn’t choke.

“Those were fucking good.”

“Only the best for your mom.”

“Thank you,” he spoke. “For the pastries and for hanging out with my family today. I’m sure you had other things to do, but it meant a lot. They’ve been hearing a lot about you.”

“I had a lot of fun with them,” you said. His smile was soft, shy even, and he watched you carefully as you sipped from the glass in your hand. “It was nice to meet the people who made you who you are.”

“Wait until you meet Sid.”

You decided to move from the kitchen to the living room in favor of more comfortable seating. He reached his hand out behind his back, and you linked your fingers with his lazily so he could lead you to the couch. You slowed to a stop as he sat down, legs spread to pull you between them. Your hesitation caused a look of confusion to flash over his features.

“Can you tell me what’s going on inside your head now?” you asked, placing your glass down on the table beside the arm of the couch. He followed suit, then placed his hand delicately at your hip to urge you closer.

“Sure, I can,” he answered. He pulled you into his lap. You looped her arms around his shoulders as he flattened one hand against your back and curled the other around your thigh. “I don’t want to waste those romance rules on someone I don’t really like all that much.”

“You really didn’t like her?” you asked meekly. Of fucking course he didn’t like her, you were thinking. You were in his lap, not her, but you still couldn’t wrap your head around it. “Why?”

“The only reason I looked forward to going on dates with her was because I got to spend time with you before,” he confessed. You felt it all through your body. “I broke up with her the morning after we were at Gabe’s together. After you called me out on my bullshit, I knew I was being stupid.”

“Why me, though?”

“Because you deserve the world and I want to be the one to give it to you.”

It was only natural for you to lean in and capture his lips with yours. After all this time spent waiting and beating around the bush, you didn’t want to wait a second more. It was passionate, and new, and exciting. His hands held you close while your fingers curled into the back of his hair, but he wasn’t close enough.  

You swung your leg over to straddle him, not caring that you were wearing a dress with just panties underneath. His hands flew to your hips as you grinded against him. You gasped against his lips at the friction as he held you tighter, teeth nipping at your bottom lip until you covered his mouth with yours again. He guided your hips to grind against him once more, but you braced your hands against his chest to push away.

“I’m not staying for a fourth glass,” you said breathlessly. He smiled up at you, eyes falling to your lips that were red and plump from kissing him. Kissing him! He leaned in, tongue swiping along his bottom lip, and pulled you down by the back of the neck.

He murmured through his kisses, “You didn’t even finish your third.”

At the challenge in his voice, you reached over for the glass on the side table and finished what was left. He held you close, laughing against the crook of your neck. You giggled along with him until you felt his lips against your skin again and a gasp fell from your lips.

“You gotta leave before I pour number four,” he warned, breath ghosting over your neck. He kissed your neck again, this time sucking lightly enough to earn a strangled moan. You pushed back against his chest and stood, flustered as you adjusted your dress and your hair. Nate couldn’t help but smile as he watched you cross the room for your purse. He grabbed a pillow and held it over his lap to hide his hard-on.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” he asked as you put your heels on the end of the couch. He was admiring your flushed cheeks and your wild hair as you busied yourself. You fastened the strap on each heel before looking back at him. It took everything in you to not go back over there and unbutton the rest of his shirt.

“Nothing,” you answered as you stood. He followed suit, adjusting his dress pants just a bit so he was comfortable and making you giggle in the process. He stepped up beside you and pulled you against him again. He placed one, two, three kisses against your neck then your jaw then your lips.

“Let me make you dinner.”

---

Nate wasn’t going to be able to keep his hands to himself. He knew that the second you walked out of your room in that little black dress, but he was really trying to be on his best behavior. It was technically only your first date and he wanted to impress you. You just weren’t helping very much. As soon as you were in his car, you were grabbing his hand and lacing it with yours to drop them into your lap.

He was a little nervous that he wasn’t going to be able to pull this off. He was sure that he’d fuck up somewhere and you’d go running. And, truthfully, you could tell that he was overthinking every little thing he did. The tension in his shoulders as he moved about the kitchen to prepare everything for dinner was clear.

“What’s wrong with you?” you asked.

He gave you the most pathetic shrug and shake of the head as he tried to wave off your concern with a soft, “Nothing.”

“That’s a lie,” you called him out. “You look stressed.”

“I mean, I am a little stressed,” he admitted, diverting his eyes from yours as he headed over to the fridge. “I don’t want to fuck this up.”

Before he knew it, you were standing between him and the refrigerator. You flattened your hands against his chest and slid them up until your hands were linked behind his neck. A slight tug on him was enough to get him to kiss you. He finally relaxed, arms dropping from the refrigerator door to grip your hips.

“You’re not going to fuck this up.”

“I don’t have a very good track record.”

“You do with me,” you said softly. He looked skeptical, not quite understanding what you meant, so you pressed against him as his arms enveloped you. “You gave me a sunflower the third time we were ever around each other. You’ve cooked me dinner already. Sure, it was under different circumstances, but it counts. Nate, you know exactly what you’re doing. Don’t overthink it.”

“Go sit,” he said, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. You managed to calm his nerves better than anyone he’d ever known in a matter of seconds. “I’ll plate dinner and then I have to grab something for you, okay?”

Nate entered the dining room a minute later, placing both plates down across from each other before disappearing to grab wine glasses and another bottle of wine. Then, he was off down the hall to his bedroom. Your eyes followed him curiously, wondering what else he could possibly have up his sleeve. He’d already impressed you enough by cooking a meal you didn’t teach him.

“Oh, wow,” you breathed out when he appeared in the hallway with a bouquet of flowers. “Nate.”

“For you.”

You stood to take them from his hands and kiss him in thanks. When you pulled away, your fingers danced along the petals of the roses tucked between the sunflowers and baby’s breath Nate had grown to love too.

---

You filled your glass for a fourth time as inconspicuously as possible after your last bite of dinner, but Nate caught your eye over the bottle as you poured and you knew he knew what you were doing. He tried to stifle his smile unsuccessfully, picking up his own glass to cover it. One sip and his third glass was done.

“More?” you asked, extending the bottle in his direction.

“Four glasses?” he teased. “What do you take me for?”

“Okay, more for me then.”

Your voice was low, eyes dark as they settled on him, and suddenly he was lunging forward to grab the bottle and pour another glass for himself. Your giggles filled the room. He wanted them to echo off his walls forever.

“I want to take a picture with you,” he said. You gave him a curious look, though your stomach was doing cartwheels at the suggestion. “I keep thinking about your empty picture frame and I want you to have something to put in it.”

“We can take a selfie,” you suggested. He was quick to shake his head, pushing away from the table to take your hand and lead you to the patio. He pulled the phone from his back pocket and set it up against the couch. He removed the glass from your hand to place it out of view of the camera.

“Now, this is quite the set up,” you murmured as he moved furniture out of the way so there was ample space to take the photo. Denver’s city lights were sure to be the perfect backdrop and having Nate beside you wasn’t too bad either.

“Well, it has to be perfect if it’s going in your office.”

“How do you know I’ll even want to put it in the frame?” you asked. Nate pressed the timer and turned to walk back at you, smirk on his lips. You were teasing him, but you were playing innocent with those doe eyes. He curled around you, arms pulling your back against his chest to pose for the picture.

“After tonight, I’m sure you will,” he murmured in your ear. “Smile.”

The audacity of a man who tells you to smile after igniting your entire body in goosebumps.

The camera went off in a sequence, five pictures for the one timer. You smiled twice before he reached up to turn your face to his for a kiss. The sound of the shutter had you pulling away from his lips with a giggle. He smiled down at you for the next photo as laughter spilled from your lips, and then he was kissing you again.

When you finally pulled away from him, all giggly and handsy, Nate dragged you along with him to his phone. He curled around you as he flipped through the photos, each one cuter than the one before.

“Are you saying you wouldn’t put that in your office?” he asked. His breath tickled the back of your neck. You were just trying to tease him before, but with the lack of space between you and the way he was looking at you in these photos, you just couldn’t tease him anymore. His fingers trailed up your arms, goosebumps rising in their wake once again.

“How’s that fourth glass of wine treating you?” you asked. Nate tucked the phone in his back pocket as you turned to face him. His hands were on you once they were free, curling over the curve of your ass.

“I shouldn’t have let you talk me into it,” he murmured against your lips. “I’m trying to be good, but it’s impossible to keep my hands to myself.”

“What if I don’t want you to keep your hands to yourself?” you against, arching your body to press against him. You could feel him hard against your hip and knew you had him exactly where you wanted him. You pressed your lips to his and, as you pulled away, you took his bottom lip between your teeth and sucked on it.

A growl ripped through his chest as he lifted you into his arms. Your legs came to wrap around his waist as he carried you into the apartment and slammed the patio door shut behind him. He dropped you onto the bed, one hand coming to tug you towards the end by the ankle. His hands spread your legs so he could step between them and they slid up your thigh, pushing your dress up as they went.

“You don’t know how badly I’ve wanted to do this,” he murmured in your ear as his hands reached your hip, dress bunching around his wrists and revealing your lace panties to him. “Stealing touches in a crowded room just doesn’t compare.”

You lifted your arms as he guided the dress over your body and tossed it to the floor. At the sight of your match set, Nate pushed you up the bed and crawled over you. He peppered kisses along your skin from your collarbone to your chest. He worked his way down your stomach until reaching the top of your underwear. In on swift movement, your thong was on the floor and he was spreading your legs.

“So pretty,” he murmured, fingers spreading your folds. You moaned out as he slipped his finger in. “You like my fingers in your pussy, baby?” You could only manage to nod because he’d already slipped a second finger in. He curled them while he pressed a kiss against your inner thigh. “How about my tongue?”

Nate licked a stripe up your center and you gasped, hands flying down to curl into his hair as he continued to eat you out. He sucked on your pussy, continuing to thrust his fingers into and curl. He dragged moans out of you, obscene words dripped from your lips, and the filthy sound of his tongue filled the room.

“You taste so good.”

You tried to grind against face for some more friction, but he held your hips down and continued. You whined, tugging his hair and arching your back as he brought you to orgasm.

“Nate, I’m gonna cu—” you moaned, toes curling at the feet of his lips around you. Suddenly, cool air shocked your core and your orgasm retreated. You sighed as your whole body sank into the bed at the absence of stimulation. Nate crawled up your buddy, licking a stripe up your neck before attaching his lips to yours.

“Sorry, baby,” he said. He nudged your knees apart and situated himself between them, hand falling to his dick as he lined it up with your entrance. “I just need you to cum on my cock.” You moaned as he pushed his head between your folds. “YN, as long as you’re mine, I’ll never make you feel like you don’t deserve all the most romantic things.”

You answered with a moan as he bottomed out inside you. He watched your face as you adjusted to his size and smiled as you whimpered, pulling your teeth between your lips. You felt so good around him and as he began to pull out and thrust in again, your nails dug into his biceps.

You knew he was trying to take his time, but you could hardly take it. As far as you were concerned, Nate would have all the time in the world to take it slow with you. Tonight was not that night.

“Fuck me harder.”

When you sounded like that beneath him, how could he say no? His previously slow and calculated thrusts became sloppy at your request. He relished in the sound of your moaning and the way you called his name like a prayer. You were unraveling beneath him and he wanted to get you there. He adjusted your leg over his shoulder so he could hit a new angle.

“Come on, baby,” he moaned against your lips. “I wanna see you cum for me.”

He reached down and placed his thumb against your clit, rubbing in circles as he pumped into you. You screamed out and your body arched as your orgasm ripped through you. Nate pumped into you a few moments more as he chased his high while listening to your whimpers. He spilled out into his condom as a string of curses left his lips, then collapsed onto of you to catch his breath.

Your fingers immediately found his hair as your breathing evened out together. His body was hot on yours and a sheen of sweat covered both of you. Nate’s fingers curled around your waist and into your skin, squeezing you like he needed to get closer but couldn’t. Finally, he pulled out of you and sat back on his knees.

“You’re so beautiful,” he sighed, hands rubbing up your stomach to cup your breasts. You shivered at his touch. “I never want to leave this bed.”

“Not even for shower sex?”

“Okay, maybe for shower sex,” he murmured. He picked you up, tossing you over his shoulder to carry you to the bathroom.

---

A few hours (and orgasms later), you were clothed in Nate’s sweats and t-shirt and waiting for him beneath the covers in bed. He was cleaning up the glasses you left on the patio and running the dishwasher, though he was quick to finish it up and return to you. You looked so cute propped up against the headboard that he couldn’t stop smiling as he got ready for bed. He pulled on a pair of sweats, but remained topless as he slid under the covers. Instead of pulling you down to rest on his chest, he dropped his head onto your stomach and pulled you tightly to him. Your fingers carded through his hair.

“Thank you for tonight, Nate,” you spoke. “This was the best first date I’ve ever been on.”

“I’m counting this as our fourth date,” he responded. You laughed at him, slapping his bicep lightly at his teasing. “Let’s be honest, I was trying to impress you this entire time anyway.”

“Consider me impressed.”

Nate pulled you down to eye level with him, heads on your respective pillows, and then turned to shut the lamp off beside him. When he turned back, he pulled you against his chest. With your ear to his chest, you listened to his heartbeat and his breathing as it evened out. His fingers scratched your back ever-so-slightly as if soothing you to sleep.

“Are you happy?” he asked. You looked up at him with a curious gaze. Could he not tell how happy you were?

“Of course, I am,” you answered. “Are you?”

“How could I not be?” he asked. “You’re so far out of my league.”

“No, I’m not,” you groaned. You covered your blushing face with your hands at his words, hoping that he couldn’t feel the beat of your heart. Nate was quick to tug them down, holding them against his own chest. He didn’t care if you felt how hard his heart was beating. In fact, he wanted you to know. He wanted you to know the effect you had on him.

“You feel my heart, right?” he asked. You nodded. “You did that. You do that to me every single time I’m around you.” Your eyes began to water and you tried to pull your hand away from his to wipe the water pooling in the corner. Nate grabbed both your hands with one of his and wiped it with his own thumb. “I’ll never let you go to bed thinking I don’t love you. I’m going to shower you with flowers from our favorite florist and buy you pastries from that little shop you like, and I’ll never make you feel like you need to stifle yourself and who you are on account of me.”

“Nate.”

“Just listen to me, alright?” he asked, voice soft. You nodded. “Your ex stuffed you down and he didn’t appreciate you. That’ll never happen with me, and if you feel like it is, you need to tell me, just like you did when we first met.”

You tried to stammer through some type of coherent response, but words failed, so you kissed him. His arms wrapped around your waist to pull you flush against him and your legs intertwined. He was intoxicating, you couldn’t get enough, but he felt just the same. He wondered how anyone had let you go before and simultaneously thanked them for the gift that was you.

That night, Nate vowed he’d never let you go to bed unhappy and he’d never let you feel any less than perfect. He waited forever for a partner like you, honest and kind, and he finally had it in his hands, in his bed. And you promised that you’d never love anyone as much as you loved him. You just knew it.

#nate mackinnon imagine #nate mackinnon fic #nate mackinnon #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #nathan mackinnon imagine #nathan mackinnon fic

[nicknellie]

@fireflyingaway requested: willex + waffle house pretty plz

So I did have to do “extensive research” on Waffle House because I don’t have one near me and have never been to one, and that led me to find an incredibly good dessert place literally a ten minute drive from me so thank you for that lmfao. But anyway, I had a lot of fun writing this, I went with getting together (kind of) fluff because that’s my jam, so I really hope you enjoy it!

Smooth Like Syrup

Somewhere along the way, Waffle House had become Alex’s favourite restaurant. He wondered if it was the childhood memories it brought back, weekend brunches spent there with his grandparents who cared for him and loved him far more than his parents ever had. It could have just been the fact that he loved waffles, and with a name like ‘Waffle House’ they couldn’t really put a foot wrong when it came to serving him. Maybe it was just the familiarity of it all – Alex had always found comfort in routine, after all. Whatever the reason he loved it there so much, Alex went to Waffle House at least once a week, more if he had the time. And it was absolutely nothing to do with the adorable new waiter who had started working there for the summer.

If anything, he was ruining it all.

Because he’d been going to the same Waffle House every week for as long as he could remember, Alex was pretty friendly with most of the staff. A few of them had been working there as long as he’d been a customer, so they were on first-name terms and always took a moment or two to catch up with each other once Alex had ordered his food (which never took long because he always ordered the same thing and they all knew that by now). Seeing the same people working there and having the same generic chitchat with them each week worked perfectly for Alex. It was normal, routine, familiar, a social situation he knew how to navigate.

Then they’d gone and hired Willie. It shouldn’t have been a problem, but it was. A problem for Alex at the very least. Not only did it disrupt his routine and catch him unawares the first time he’d walked into the restaurant to see a new waiter, but the waiter had to look like that. Willie was all dazzling smiles and sharp cheekbones and luscious long hair and it was, quite simply, unfair. Alex came to Waffle House to eat, not get flustered over some ridiculously good-looking boy.

For a few weeks, Alex had taken the admittedly immature approach to just avoid Waffle House altogether. Out of sight, out of mind. The only reason it hadn’t lasted long was because he missed the waffles, and he couldn’t find anything to fill that extra hour and a half of his Saturday. So after not visiting for two weeks, Alex returned to Waffle House and resumed his routine, still flustered by stupidly attractive Willie, but most definitely working on a way to stop it being a problem.

His next plan of action had been simply trying to avoid Willie which was foiled the moment he sat down in his usual booth one Saturday afternoon. He had been hoping that his usual server would spot him and come over for a chat, but as luck would have it, Willie got to his table first.

“Welcome to Waffle House,” he had said, beaming down at Alex, who tried to act as if the sudden appearance hadn’t scared the life out of him. He wasn’t sure how well he pulled it off, but Willie had made no comment. “My name is Willie, I’ll be your server today. What can I get you started with?”

Two things had thrown Alex then. Firstly, it had been the first time he’d heard Willie’s name. It was strange to be able to put a name to the face of an angel and he was certain he would never have guessed ‘Willie’ if he’d been given a million tries. Secondly, the fact that Willie didn’t automatically know his order bewildered him. He was so used to the waiters coming over, confirming he wanted the usual, and slipping into easy conversation. This was new and unexpected, and if there was anything Alex hated it was new and unexpected things.

As such, his mind went blank and he completely forgot what he usually ordered. A plain waffle and a diet coke shouldn’t have been easy to forget, it wasn’t anything fancy, and yet Alex made it work.

“Um,” he’d said dumbly, looking up at Willie’s expectant face with his mouth bobbing open and closed like a mildly distressed fish. He could feel his cheeks heating in a blush and looked away as Willie raised a concerned eyebrow.

“Do you need a minute to decide?” Willie had asked sceptically.

Alex had shaken his head vigorously, aware that probably made him look as frantically flustered as he felt and was trying to hide, which only made him more flustered. He took several shallow but slow breaths before forcing words out of his mouth because that was how conversations worked and he refused to lose the ability to speak over this boy.

“No, no, I know what I want,” he had said eventually. “Just a plain waffle and a diet coke, thank you.”

“Is that everything?” Willie had asked, jotting the order down on his notepad.

Not trusting himself to speak any more than that, Alex just nodded. Willie had shot him a bright smile and disappeared off to get his order prepared. The moment he was certain Willie couldn’t see him anymore, Alex’s head flopped onto the table and he let out a long, exhausted, frustrated groan. He felt like an utter mess.

For the rest of that visit, he’d kept it together by simply not talking to Willie unless it was absolutely necessary. Had he been a more confident person he might have found a better way to handle it, but Alex had been cursed with social awkwardness from the moment he’d been old enough to socialise and it wasn’t suddenly going to fix itself just do he didn’t make a fool of himself in front of Willie.

As time went on, things got simultaneously worse and better between Alex and Willie, enough that Alex both dreaded and looked forward to his weekly Waffle House trips. For one thing, he and Willie had got to know each other a bit better – Willie could anticipate Alex’s order now, Alex could just about talk without tripping over his words or saying something slightly embarrassing (which always felt to Alex like something utterly mortifying and worth overthinking because his brain hated him), and if both of them were in the right state of mind they could manage a very brief chat.

But on the flip side, Alex hated Waffle House now and it was Willie who had ruined it for him. Not for any sane reason like being a bad waiter (because he was actually a very good waiter, which Alex thought had something to do with the fact that he always wore Heelys so he could glide across the restaurant which was much faster than walking). No, Willie had ruined Waffle House for Alex because now he couldn’t go in there and see Willie without getting butterflies in his stomach and a giddy grin on his face.

Now that he knew Willie better, it wasn’t just his beautiful brown eyes and gorgeous smile that Alex liked about him. He was talkative, he was funny, he was sweet. He was extremely considerate – when Alex came in one day, Willie met him at the door, walked him to his usual table, told him they’d run out of diet coke and that he had just popped to the store and bought some just for Alex, knowing he would order it. And he laughed at Alex’s terrible attempts at humour, he drizzled the syrup onto Alex’s waffles in the shape of smiley faces, he made sure Alex’s usual booth was always free of people for when he came in. Everything about Willie made Alex’s heart beat too fast and his breath catch and it was starting to make going to Waffle House a very stressful experience.

So Willie was the reason that Alex loved going there and was also desperate to find somewhere else.

But Alex, despite his many worries about life, wasn’t the kind of person to give up on something just because someone else made it difficult. Sure, that rule had usually applied to very different situations, and he actually liked Willie so it wasn’t as if seeing him was a bad thing, but it helped Alex to remember that he’d always powered through things like this and that was what kept him going to the restaurant.

One day, he arrived to Waffle House later than normal. He had come straight from band practise which had gone on longer than normal because they’d spent the first forty-five minutes arguing about the dangers of fiddling with electrical equipment in the rain and decided to make up that time at the end. As such, Alex arrived almost twenty minutes after he normally would have left.

He didn’t spot Willie immediately as he came in and couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed. Nowadays, Willie nearly always greeted him at the door, knowing exactly what time he arrived. He supposed Willie had long ago given up waiting for him to get there – he had a job to get on with, after all. Alex tried not to feel too sad about it as he made his way over to his usual booth; Willie was a waiter, not a friend, not anything else, and Alex shouldn’t have expected him to wait forever or be there whenever he wanted.

But when Alex came to his usual seat, he was surprised to see someone already sat there. Even more so when he noticed that person was Willie.

Willie looked up as he approached, expression changing from bored to delighted in a second flat. The grin on his face was more than enough to snap Alex out of his sudden bad mood, lifting his spirits and bringing a smile to his face in an instant.

“Alex!” Willie greeted. “You’re here! I thought something had happened to you, man, you had me worried.”

Alex laughed and sat down opposite him, trying to keep his eyes wandering so he didn’t end up just staring at Willie. “Nah, I’m alright. Band practice ran over, is all.”

“I’m glad it’s nothing serious,” Willie said with a small smile. “But if it happens again can you text me to let me know you’ll be late? Just so I know I don’t need to worry about you and I can still keep your table free.”

“Sure, but I don’t have your number,” Alex said, ignoring the persistent fluttering of his heart and the alarms blaring in his head. It seemed as if his mind had pressed its panic button at something Willie had said but Alex was too distracted to figure out what.

“That’s easily fixed,” Willie replied. He dug his phone out of his back pocket and slid it across the table to Alex. “If you put your number in there I’ll text you so you can save mine.”

Heart hammering, cheeks hot, and smile so wide it hurt, Alex nodded and entered his contact information into Willie’s phone. He tried to act nonchalant as he slid it back across the table afterwards, but in his flustered state his aim was off – he pushed too hard and it fell over the edge of the table, right into Willie’s lap. That was one of those slightly embarrassing moments that Alex’s subconscious would likely rub mockingly in his face for days to come and he couldn’t help but wince at the thought.

“Thanks, man,” Willie said, beaming. “It’s just for peace of mind, you know. I really like you and when you didn’t show up earlier I just… well, I wondered where you were.”

Willie wasn’t meeting his eye all of a sudden. In fact, he apparently found the table top very interesting because he was staring at it like it held the secrets of the universe. Alex knew the signs well enough to guess how Willie was feeling then – nervous. But what did Willie ever have to be nervous about?

“Hey,” Alex said gently, lowering his voice in an attempt to calm Willie’s nerves. He leant over the table a little though so that he could still be heard. “I’m here, aren’t I? Nothing bad actually happened. You don’t need to worry about me, Willie. I promise.”

A small, bittersweet smile fluttered across Willie’s face. “Yeah. You’re here.”

The short silence then felt charged, electric, fierce. Why, Alex had no idea.

But Willie broke it, his usual bright smile back on his face as he said, “I hope you don’t mind me eating with you, by the way. I’m on my lunch break and I’d kept this table empty for you anyway so I thought I might as well sit here.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine by me,” Alex insisted. It was a half-truth. Was he happy to have longer to chat with Willie than normal, eat together as if they were friends rather than just a waiter and a customer? Yes. But did this feel too much like a date for Alex’s anxiety to handle, even though it was very clearly not a date? Also yes. He half wanted to ask Willie to sit somewhere else, but that would have been unthinkably rude, so he settled for trying not to be awkward.

Not long later, another server came and brought their food out. For a moment Alex thought it was weird because nobody had even come to take his order, then he remembered that everyone who worked at Waffle House knew what he got so it would have just wasted time if they’d asked. The two of them ate in silence for a while, Willie enjoying his break and Alex enjoying the first food he’d eaten all day.

Their conversation started up again when they were about halfway into their meals. Willie asked about Alex’s band practise, how things were going, what they had lined up. Alex was more than happy to talk about Julie and the Phantoms for hours on end and the way Willie engaged with his waffling on so enthusiastically only fuelled that fire. But in return, Alex made sure to ask how Willie was, how he was getting on preparing to start college, whether he’d had enough free time to skate lately.

It was weird, he thought, that this was their first proper conversation and yet they already knew so much about each other’s lives that it flowed as easily as it would have if Alex had been talking to one of his closest friends. Perhaps he and Willie were closer than he had realised.

He only stayed until Willie’s break ended, which was painfully short. They said their goodbyes, Alex jokingly promised he’d be on time next time, Willie laughed that beautiful laugh of his as he took their plates away, and Alex left the restaurant. He couldn’t shake the odd feeling in his mind, still wondering what had panicked him at the start of their conversation.

It hit him as he was crossing a road, stopping him dead in his tracks and causing an irritated driver to beep his horn at him: Willie had been worried about him.

It felt so much more personal than it should have. If Willie worried, it meant he cared, and if Willie cared then it could have meant any number of things. It could have meant that when he looked at Alex he felt the same featherlight giddiness that Alex did when he saw Willie. It could have meant that Willie spent his days wishing Alex was more than just a regular customer. It could have meant that when Willie asked for his phone number he was actually asking for more than that.

Alex had no idea what inspired him to do it, what unusual burst of courage gave him the ability to go through with it, but a moment later he had whipped his phone out and opened Willie’s contact. There was only one message between them, the one Willie had sent so Alex could save his information, but Alex quickly typed out another and hit send before he had time to regret it.

I know you said I only needed to text you if I was going to be late, but I figured I could text you about other stuff too. Like the fact I’m free next Friday if you want to hang out.

Something like that ordinarily would have stressed him out but he didn’t have the time for that because Willie’s response was almost immediate.

Sure! I hear Waffle House is pretty great, how about we go there?

Alex laughed at how dorky and cute Willie was even over text and replied quickly with: It’s a date.

Willie replied with three emojis – a smiley face, a heart, and a waffle. Even just from that, Alex knew Willie had understood him and that next Friday they would be going on an actual date together. He didn’t care whether it was actually at Waffle House or they tried somewhere completely new; as long as he was with Willie, nothing else mattered.

#disclaimer: i wrote this all in one sitting. i did not proofread. it is currently 23:45. im sorry if this is actually terrible lmao #willex #willie x alex #alex x willie #willex fic #jatp fic #jatp #julie and the phantoms #julie and the himbos #alex mercer #willie jatp #fanfiction #fanfic #fic #request #writing #my writing #getting together #waffles #fluff

[maneskinrollercoaster]

~ And All That For a Lighter ~

Pairing: Damiano David x Naomi (fictional character)

Word count: 3035

Warnings: none

Summary: Naomi meets Damiano in a café for the first time.

Naomi entered the café all soaked, her cheeks red from running and her hair messy and wet from the rain. It was pouring outside which was the thing she despised the most. Surprisingly tho she felt good. Fresh. She loved walking around Rome in the morning and for the first time in her life she admired this rainy weather. Little drops of water flowed over her cheek. Her life was a big mess and you could say she needed something new.

When a month ago she found her boyfriend cheating with her best friend she felt like her whole life collapsed. That’s when she decided to change something. Start a new life. She started admiring things she’s never liked before, she started dressing differently, she became more confident in her own body. She even started working out which was the most unexpected thing since physical education was her least favorite subject in high school.

Naomi always thought love was the most essential part of everyone’s life, but a sight of Alessandro having fun in their bed with Sofia made her hate love more than anything. She decided to move on and live life completely and only for herself.

- Buongiorno Joey - she said reaching the bartender standing behind the counter.

- Buongiorno piccola, what can I get for you?

- One espresso please, and one brownie - the bartender nodded and started preparing her order.

She decided to sit down since she would probably spend a lot of time working on her laptop and enjoying this rainy morning. The inside of café was warm and welcoming, comfortable couches, puffy pillows and a lot of plants. She visited this café every day for the past two weeks and she found herself enjoying this place maybe even more than her new flat.

Naomi went to sit in the corner on a cozy red couch. She took off her soaked jacket and pulled out her laptop with a couple of notebooks. She was a student of economy and since she had to find herself some more things to do she decided to actually try harder to have a better degree at her college. She wasn’t so fond of the direction she chose but she knew it’s gonna bring her a prosperous life. In fact her favorite thing in the world was art. She started painting when she was 8 years old. Since then she really enjoyed staying all day alone in her room painting everything she could, from beautiful portraits to mesmerizing landscapes. She had a huge talent but she was too afraid to chase her dreams.

When she met Alessandro he quickly bashed her ideas of becoming a professional painter, saying that it’s not something she will build her life on and that she will be only wasting her time. She was mad at him for a couple of days but then she quit her painting dream and chose economy for her main subject.

- Ecco a te, one coffee and one brownie - said Joey bringing her order to the table and putting it right in front of her.

- Grazie mille - Naomi answered and smiled to him.

She took a sip of coffee and smiled. It was delicious. That was another reason why she kept coming back here every day. They made the best coffee she’s ever drunk.

Two hours passed and Naomi was still working on her assignment she was supposed to give in till next Monday. It was about lunch time so she decided she will pack her things in an hour and she will go find a place to eat something. She took the last sip of the coffee and finished her first task when someone pulled her out of her little trans.

- Ah shit! I’m all wet! - she heard someone saying and moment later she saw a guy reaching the bartender.

He was tall and had slightly longer, dark brown hair. She could only see his profile but only that was enough for her to admit that he was really handsome. He was wearing black trousers, black Dr. Martens, white tank top and an oversized black jacket. He looked good and Naomi couldn’t take her eyes off of him.

- Damiano! It’s so good to see you man! - Joey said and shook hands with the new guy.

Damiano. The name really suit him. Naomi didn’t take her eyes off him even once.

- Ciao, ciao, Joey! - his voice was attractive as well. Raspy and deep but really calm.

Naomi didn’t know what was happening. Usually she didn’t pay attention to any guys after Alessandro but he was different. He looked edgy and bold but he seemed nice too. She was staring at him. And not in a polite way. She was literally eyeing him from up and down and she didn’t even realize.

- Give me an espresso man, I’m so tired, I just woke up. Yesterday we had so much fun. Victoria came up with this new idea of the song and we all stayed up late till 4 am trying to figure out how to pull it up together. - Damiano said.

So he’s into music. Nice. Naomi was still staring at him so rudely but she didn’t care at this point. Music is also art - she thought and smiled slightly not letting go of his person.

- Typical you, Dam, you’ve never slept a full night, did you? - Joey said and they both laughed.

- Do you have a lighter maybe? I forgot mine. - Damiano said and started searching his pockets.

- I don’t man, sorry. Let me make your order. Anything else for you?

- No, no that’s all. I’m gonna go search for a lighter and I’ll be back.

He turned around searching for people but at this time the café was empty. Only Naomi sitting in the corner. He started walking towards her. Oh shit, he’s coming here, stop staring, stop staring, stop staring - Naomi thought and looked at her laptop trying to pretend that’s she didn’t just checked him out for 10 minutes straight.

- Scusi, I’m.. - he reached her table and started speaking but stopped when she looked at him. - I’m sorry to interrupt but do you have a lighter maybe? - he said after a second.

- No, I’m sorry. I don’t smoke. - Naomi blushed and smiled lightly.

- Okey, grazie. - he smiled and started walking away.

- But there’s a store at the corner, I think they might have some. - Naomi said

- Grazie, grazie. - he laughed slightly and waved at her.

Naomi went back to her tasks still blushing not knowing why. 15 minutes passed and Damiano entered the café again carrying two bags. He came up to Naomi smiling.

- I uh.. Sorry to interrupt again but.. Do you want to maybe eat lunch with me? I just thought that it’s lunch time and you’re sitting here alone and since you helped me with the lighter.. - he couldn’t stop speaking and Naomi blushed again laughing. He looked a bit nervous.

- Of course, I would love to eat lunch with you. - she said interrupting him.

- I’m Damiano - he said pulling out his hand.

- Naomi - she said and grabbed his hand to shake it but he turned it and kissed the top of her palm.

She felt something weird in her stomach, like butterflies but she pushed them aside and only smiled to him. Damiano sat on the couch opposite Naomi and put two bags on the table.

- I didn’t know what you like, obviously because I don’t know you, yeah very clever Dam, whatever.. - he started speaking and Naomi couldn’t stop but laugh at him loudly

- Don’t worry, I’m not a peaky eater - she said sending him a reassuring smile.

- Alright, well, I ordered pasta with shrimps and some pesto and cherry tomatoes. - he said taking out the box with food from the bag. - I also got you a cherry smoothie but we can switch if you’d like.

- Wow, and that all for a lighter? You really didn’t have to. But thank you so much, I was about to go for lunch anyways. - she said grabbing the box that he handed her.

- Yes well, you’re really beautiful.. I mean, no.. I mean you are beautiful but I just wanted to say that you’re really nice and yeah I don’t know I just thought you might like to eat something.. Not that you look like you’re starving but yeah..

- Heyyy, thank you, really, that’s so nice of you. - she said smiling widely.

Naomi took the first bite of her pasta and it was delicious. She remembered her grandmother cooking shrimps every Saturday and all her family gathering together for a family dinner in the garden. It tasted just the same.

They ate everything and after two hours of talking and laughing and getting to know each other it was time for Joey to close the café. Naomi stood up and packed her things, said goodbye to Joey and together with Damiano they stepped out of the café. It stopped raining and instead there was a full sun and a fresh breeze.

- So what are you gonna do now? - he asked standing in front of her.

- Umm.. I think I’m just gonna go back to my flat, make myself some snacks and watch Netflix till I fall asleep - Naomi laughed.

- Alright well, do you mind if I walk you home? - Damiano asked steeping a bit closer to her.

- Sure, why not, we can take a walk.

That day Damiano walked Naomi to her house and they exchanged numbers, planning to meet again. He kissed her cheek for goodbye and squeezed her hand and Naomi has never felt like that in a long time. She was happy and Damiano, even tho she met him today, made her feel really good. Naomi couldn’t sleep that night still thinking of him and wondering why she felt so different around him.

*3 months later*

- What do you mean you don’t like Star Wars! - Damiano shouted to Naomi while they both walked towards the beach where they were supposed to watch sunset and have a little picnic.

Since the day they met they spent almost every day together. Damiano surprised her with multiple occasions to go out together, either for lunch or dinner or even breakfast when he woke up earlier than usual. He found himself falling for her. In fact he realized he fell for her the day he first laid his eyes on her. He found her funny, spontaneous and really kind and caring. When she told him about her painting dream he was so shocked she gave up, that he argued with her till he convinced her to chase the dream even if she thought it was too late. Naomi really enjoyed his company, he made her feel really happy and safe and most importantly - loved. She knew she developed some feelings and she didn’t want to admit it but at the back of her head she knew she fell in love. He made her laugh and supported her when she was having bad moments. He became her best friend at some point. Both of them were taking things a bit slower tho, they were both afraid, broken-hearted after rough ended relationships.

- I just don’t, I don’t understand how they made so many movies out of such a lame plot. - she said defending herself.

- How can you even say that! The plot is amazing! The space action scenes, come on! - he said offended but smiling.

- Yeah I just don’t see the point of filming it, that’s all.

- I don’t know how Victoria can still be friends with you, we’re both huge fans of Star Wars! You’re lucky I like you - Damiano started laughing and put his arm around Naomi’s shoulders.

She got to meet Victoria, Ethan and Thomas. Bassist, drummer and guitarist of their band Måneskin. Naomi wasn’t really into music so she didn’t really know them and didn’t know they’re pretty known here in Italy. Victoria was the kindest person Naomi could ever see. When her and Damiano stepped into the studio where they were recording, Vic was the first to reach out to her. She hugged her tightly and was clearly really happy to meet her. She then introduced Thomas and Ethan to her. Thomas started joking around that Damiano finally found himself a girlfriend and Ethan was really polite, he kissed Naomi’s hand and hugged her too, smiling really kindly. They were all so nice. They started inviting her over for dinners or just to hang out by the pool. She also listened to them playing and recording their new songs. Damiano told them that she wanted to be a painter and they all started reassuring her even more, that chasing her dream is the best thing for her and that she should never give up. Naomi really felt like she finally found her place.

Naomi and Damiano reached the beach, they put the blanket on the sand, put out all the food from the basket and they sat opposite each other. They were both smiling widely and chatting about everything. They drank some wine, ate some pasta and then they sat next to each other admiring the sunset.

- I really like you, you know? - Damiano said glancing at Naomi. - And I mean, I like you a lot. You’re really an amazing person with so much talent and you’re just so caring and loving. You really make me happy. - he said not taking his eyes off of her.

- Dami.. - Naomi started but she was interrupted.

- What I want to say is.. - he took her hands - I fell in love with you Naomi. I fell for you hard and I’m pretty sure since the day I saw you at that café. I care about you so much and any time with you is my favorite time in the world. So if you want to.. We could try, you know.. Being together, like, in a relationship. - he said in one breathe.

Naomi was speechless, her stomach was squeezing and she felt her cheeks turning red. She never would have though that someone will make her feel like this again. She knew that he cares for her but she didn’t know that he would feel the same way she felt about him.

- Dami.. Of course I do want to try, you make me the happiest, and honestly I didn’t know you feel the same way, that’s why I didn’t say anything. And also because.. - Naomi wanted to tell him about Alessandro but she was scared that Damiano will back off, saying that he will give her time.

- What’s wrong, bella? - he said gently squeezing her hand.

- I was in a relationship before. His name was Alessandro and we met before I started college. We were together for 3 years and everything was going just fine. But then.. One day when I came back home earlier than usual I found him cheating with my best friend, Sofia. Since then I just decided to not get into any relationship and live only for myself because I was too afraid to get hurt again - Naomi said looking down at their intertwined hands.

- Oh bella.. - Damiano pulled her into a tight hug.

He stroked her back and her hair and he was whispering to her ear. A single tear fell down her cheek but not because she was hurt but because of how gentle and caring Damiano was. He hugged her and made her feel better and she couldn’t find herself with anyone else right now than with him. He pulled away, looked into her eyes and smiled slightly.

- I was in a relationship too a while ago. It turned out we didn’t match and our life goals and perspectives were so different that we decided to end things. Maybe it wasn’t as harsh as your breakup but I felt awful for at least a month. I didn’t go out of my room and I lost all will to write music. Victoria brought me food every day but I just didn’t want to eat. But it all passed.. Listen, if you need more time it’s all good, I’ll give you space and I’ll wait till you’re ready.

Naomi was silent for a couple of seconds. In her head there was a battle. She wanted to let go of bad memories and trust Damiano completely, start a relationship with him, but on the other hand she was scared to get hurt again.

- No Dami. I don’t need time, I know what I want and I know how you make me feel and that’s why I want to try. - Naomi said hugging him tightly.

She knew she just overcame her fear and she felt free. Like a huge stone fell off of her heart. She felt amazing and she wanted to live this moment as long as she could. Damiano pulled away and cupped her cheek with his hand. He pulled her closer and she could feel his breath on her face. Slowly, but slightly Damiano leaned in and brushed his lips against hers. Naomi touched his cheek and pulled him even closer. And then they both intertwined their lips in a gentle, yet passionate kiss.

Naomi felt her stomach squeezing when Damiano put his hand on her back. It was their first kiss and the sunset was almost turning into the night. They pulled away after seconds and smiled widely at each other.

- I promise, I’ll always take care of you. - Damiano said leaning his forehead against hers.

- Always. - Naomi said grabbing his hand and intertwining their fingers together.

That’s when they both knew that they found soulmates in each other.

#damiano david #ethan torchio #i wanna be your slave #italy #maneskin #måneskin #thomas raggi #victoria de angelis #zitti e buoni #torna a casa #vent'anni #vocalist #guitarist #bassist #drummer #fanfic #damiano david fanfiction #one shot #damiano david one shot

[personasintro]

My Tiny Secret | 20; First Steps

𝑴𝒚 𝑻𝒊𝒏𝒚 𝑺𝒆𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒕 𝒅𝒓𝒂𝒃𝒃𝒍𝒆 | 20; First Steps 

⏤𝒔𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔; Pretty face doesn’t make it up for an ugly personality. And Kim Seokjin is the perfect proof of that.

⏤𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: seokjin x reader

⏤𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: angst, smut, fluff, mistress au, unexpected pregnancy au

⏤𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: strong language, mature content 

⏤> 𝒇𝒊𝒄 𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒙

The birds' chirping creates a calm melody, outstanding the sounds of kids laughing and crying that reach your ears. Even the blanket underneath your legs feels soft, softer than usual and you wonder if it's made from one of those expensive materials. Surprisingly, Seokjin was the one who packed everything and you left him to it.

It's nice to see him doing such a normal stuff, especially if it's related to you and your son.

“It seems busier than last week.” His voice resounds, your eyes snapping to him as his legs are spread out with arms holding him in a relaxed position. Those black locks that got longer are thrown back, making his forehead on full display along with his thick brows.

He looks so relaxed, wearing a white casual shirt with jean shorts, something you should've got used to by now, but you still find yourself occasionally stare at him.

You're not even sure how, but your Saturdays have been spent in a park nearby your apartment building for the last couple of weeks. You often went alone, making sure you're not stuck in your apartment all day, sometimes Hoseok tagged along with you as well. Surprisingly, Seokjin comes every Saturday without even making any official plans with you, knowing he's about to spend the whole day with you. Well, with Yoojin.

It became a silent routine.

“It does,” you hum, eyes trailed on Yoojin who crawls up to the tree you're sitting underneath. It creates a perfect shadow in this warm weather. “He's so active these days.” you say as you already panic when he starts to standing up, holding the tree with his small hands.

He can stand for a long time now, but he's too careful to hold onto something and not let go. Yoojin's puckered lips stretch into a huge smile, proudly showing himself to his parents as you clap in praise, not holding a smile back. He grew up so fast, you can't believe how many things have changed since he was born.

Seokjin comes to visit more often, he even sleeps on the couch sometimes since the guest room is slowly renovating to Yoojin's new bedroom. You both went shopping together and bought him a new crib, along with a few different decorations and furniture. The memory of the two of you walking with Yoojin in his stroller seems weird, but nice and comfortable. For the first time, it felt like you're a real family, spending some time together.

He's an intelligent man managing a successful company on his own, with no help whatsoever, however building a crib isn't his strong suit. Stubbornly, he insisted on being the one who makes Yoojin's bedroom for him. You've never seen him being so passionate about something, so you let him. Even if it took him a month, but you silently enjoyed every day he came after work struggling in that room, ending sleeping on the couch.

It feels nice to have him there. He's more open, casually talking with you about your day, but mainly has his focus on Yoojin.

You've met his friend – Kim Namjoon. As you've learned, he accidentally found out about his best friend having a child, thinking it's all gossip. But when he burst into Seokjin's office with a single question if he has a kid and his friend didn't deny it, he knew those gossips were true.

According to Seokjin's words, he bugged him about wanting to meet Yoojin for a whole week, until he had no choice but to say 'yes'. Before Namjoon came to your apartment, Seokjin made sure you're okay with the visit of his friend, the same thing he did when his father came to visit for the first time.

You didn't have any reason to say no, Yoojin is his son as well. A part of you wanted to meet his friend anyway, which happened to be a very polite and kind man. It made you shocked that he has such a nice friend, you were expecting someone similar to his personality. The visit was far more enjoyable than that time when Mr. Kim visited. You even saw Seokjin to crack a few smiles and chuckles, not the dark ones you're used to, but honest and happy ones.

“He's Kim,” he points out proudly, smiling at Yoojin who grins back at his father, still holding to the tree. “He has your smile.” he comments, your head snapping to him before you look at Yoojin.

“Really?” you cock your head to the side, trying to find your similarity in your son.

He's a mixture of you both, although he definitely takes after Seokjin's side more. You're not mad at it, his father is handsome, there's no lie in that.

“Yeah,” he hums, his phone vibrating inside of his pocket as he pulls it out.

You see his wife's name on the display, but he just locks the phone and ignores the call.

“You can speak to her, y'know...” you mumble, watching your son instead as he squats down to admire dandelions.

“I know,” he assures you lightly, “I don't want to.” he admits and you don't let a surprise to be known on your face.

The conversation dies there, both of you watching your son as a way to distract yourselves, that's until Seokjin opens his mouth again.

“I'll divorce her,” he informs you, his tone firm as his hardening features. “For Yoojin.” he adds, glancing at your son that touches the top of dandelion and giggles when it bounces.

“That's nice of you,” you tell him softly, heart warming at the progress he's made. “But, are you sure? Is that what you want?”

You don't mean to doubt his decision, nor you feel some kind of triumph that he wants to divorce his wife. It was never a competition for you and you feel sorry for the woman, whether she's a bad person or not. You're not the one to talk, nor is Seokjin. All of you made mistakes along the way that got you where you are right now.

“I thought about what my father said,” he confesses, your mind drifting to that time he told you what he and his father talked about. It took his some time to open up, but when he finally did, you couldn't be more proud of him. “I think he's right. Besides, I don't see any future with her.”

“If that's what you really want, I'm on your side.”

Seokjin catches the smile you give him, eyes glinting with honesty and his heart does a weird twist at seeing you like that. You're wearing a yellow sundress, youth and happiness radiating from you and he wonders what's the reason behind your happiness. Is he a part of it too? Is someone else behind it?

“Thank you,” he says, tone sounding almost unsure of what to say, and you giggle when you see the puzzled look. “I don't know how she will take it, knowing her she'll throw a fuss. She seems to be furious whenever I come back to the house. I think I'll leave the house to her, maybe she'll be less furious when I break the news to her.”

It seems like he's thinking out loud more to himself, than telling you all this stuff, but you appreciate it nevertheless. It's weird hearing him saying house instead of home.

“I can still pay for the rent, I've got my maternity leave every month,” you suggest, ignoring the raise of his brow. “I don't need your money, Seokjin.”

“Debatable.” he mutters, causing your brows to twitch in irritation.

“No, I don't need it. I'm thankful for everything you're doing for us, but I don't need your money.”

Sighing, he scratches his chin as he looks at you. “I'm sorry,” he apologizes, your mouth falling open but you stay quiet. “Let me do this for you. And Yoojin.”

“I am, but I don't want you to think I need your money. Yes, you make our lives easier but I'm not your wife. I thought you knew that.” Your voice fades away, but the disappointment in it stays as Seokjin groans underneath his breath.

“Shit, I know that,” he curses, voice thick with regret. “I'm not good with words. I've never done this before and I've never met someone who didn't try to fuck me over. It's hard for me to trust someone and you're the first person-- I'm sorry. I know you don't need my money, you made that clear from the day one.”

Nibbling on your bottom lip, you let it go before you give him a soft smile. Confusion is clear on his face, probably thinking you were about to curse at him but he's just met with your smile.

“What?”

“Hm, nothing,” you hum, causing him to roll his eyes in annoyance. Well, some things haven't changed. “I just.. thank you for being so open, I think. It makes me understand you better.” you tell him honestly, seeing him look away as he plays with the grass next to him.

Is he blushing?

When he looks back at you, his eyes trail somewhere behind you before his eyes widen. You follow his vision, eyes mimicking Seokjin's expression as you see your son standing, without holding himself. He giggles and stumbles, but still doesn't reach for the tree next to him.

“Oh my god, he's standing!” you chant, clapping like a crazy woman which makes your son giggle.

“Where's my phone?” you hear Seokjin mutter, before he's snapping a few pictures of your son.

“Come here, pumpkin. You can do it, come here!” you call to him, arms outstretching as you silently call him to your embrace.

He frowns, complementing on what to do but when you clap again and call for him, he smiles. He takes a step forward, and you push the squeal that wants to rip out of your throat away, not wanting to scare him as he slowly starts walking towards you. He's wobbling, his chubby legs barely holding his balance, but he doesn't fall this time. From the corner of your eyes, you see Seokjin pointing his phone to Yoojin, recording this moment with a huge smile plastered on his lips.

“Come to mommy!” you call for him, giggling when he's almost in your embrace, loosing his balance but you're quick to catch him, causing him to giggle. “Good job!” you praise him, kissing his cheeks as you hug him closer to you.

You've never felt so proud, like this very moment. Seokjin's eyes are filled with a rare emotion, something you've never seen on his face and you wish you could snap a picture of him right now. He reaches towards you, caressing Yoojin's back as he gives him a set of praise words.

“Go to daddy,” you tell him, making sure your son is standing as he stares at his father.

He moves away, crossing his legs as he outstretches his arms the same way you did. He's smiling, eyes glistening as he wonders if his son will walk into his arms like he did to you.

“Yoojin-ah, come on. Come here.” he calls out to him, your eyes watering when he starts taking a few steps to his father, grinning at him as Seokjin starts to scream in encouragement causing you to laugh.

You've never heard him being so loud, full of joy and you pull out your phone, taking a lot of pictures as he picks up your son, bouncing him in his arms as he starts kissing his face repeatedly. It makes your son erupt into a fit of laughter, his bubbly laugh outstanding from other children's ones while you're wiping your tears, too stubborn to look away, savoring this moment.

[9:23pm] hobi: wait... he looks... happy???

The message makes you giggle, covering your mouth with the blanket before your fingers work their way onto the screen. You've sent him the video of Yoojin walking, along with the pictures you managed to snap of Seokjin kissing him.

[9:24pm] he does, i've never seen him look so happy

[9:24pm] hobi: that's good, right? is he treating you okay?

He never fails to ask the same question every time the two of you talk, but you know he's just looking out for you. And besides, today was nothing but great.

[9:25pm] yeah, he's really trying hobi

He sends you a couple of emojis of confetti, clapping hands and fireworks which makes you snort. Your giggling is interrupted with a soft knock on your bedroom door. Knowing it's Seokjin, you call out a gentle 'come in' before he opens the door. His head is the first thing that appears, as he cutely looks around noticing Yoojin's crib where he's sleeping.

He was supposed to sleep in his new crib, but he somehow didn't want to let go of you, even though he fell asleep almost immediately.

“Can I come in?” he asks you, cautiously staring at you and catching a glimpse of your exposed legs.

Slowly, you sit up and nod in response. He tries to be quiet, making his way towards the crib to check on Yoojin before he sits next to you. The fresh scent of his shower gel that he brought one day to your home lingers on his skin, his hair slightly dampened after he took a shower. He's wearing a loose shirt and some sweatpants, to stay decent. You know he likes to sleep naked most of the time, or at least that's what you always thought after he fell asleep a few times in your bed – back in the time when you messed around. He always made sure to leave after you both had sex, but there were times when he had a couple of drinks and stayed the night. But you never felt the warmth of him the next morning, no sight of him.

“He fell asleep right away. I think we tired him out.” you whisper, pointing at your son's crib as he chuckles.

“He had an eventful day.” he comments, his voice gentle and quiet not to wake him up.

He's right. After you both packed your stuff and put it into the truck of Seokjin's car, you went to eat ice cream and walked around for a few minutes, before it was time to go back home. Seokjin took a bath with Yoojin, playing with him in the water and you left them there, and cooked dinner.

“Can't sleep?” you ask quietly, making out his features thanks to the moon and opened blinds.

“Yeah,” he mutters. “Can you? I heard you giggling.”

“Oh, it was just something Hobi sent me,” you wave your hand, silently watching him in the darkness.

Luckily, Hoseok visited you more often, even when Seokjin was present and even though the atmosphere is awkward most of the time, at least they don't want to rip each other heads anymore.

“Thank you for taking us out today, Yoojin was so happy.” You feel the need to tell him that.

He's not a kid who needs to get praised at every single good thing he does, yet you want to show him your gratitude. He's been involved in Yoojin's and your life more with each passing month. Maybe it's weird but you feel like a family. You raise him together, even though Seokjin officially doesn't live with you, but he's spending most of his time with you. This actually works nicely, way better than you've ever imagined.

And the littlest smile that ghosts his lips whenever you show him your gratitude doesn't go unnoticed, even though he tries to hide it. It's the same one that's hidden by the darkness in your bedroom.

“Were you?” he asks, head tilting towards you, although you can't see his eyes clearly.

“Huh?

“Happy,” he whispers, “Were you happy?”

You're taken back by his question. Does he really care about your happiness? You can't believe your own ears. You knew he's not such a bad guy as he makes himself out to be – hence all the gestures he's done for you, like sending you money and making sure you live in a nice place. There are a lot of things he's done, nice things that made you even more confused by him. But he's never been so straight forward. Until these recent days.

“Yes,” you answer him, “Were you happy?” you ask him back, watching his broad shoulders as he stays quiet for a moment.

“Yes.” he whispers, turning to you and you automatically smile at him, not even sure if he can properly see you.

“I'm glad, I don't think I've ever seen you happy.” you admit, wondering if you're pushing his buttons too much.

“I don't really show emotions but I don't think I've ever been happy. I kind of just... lived.”

The lamp that slowly creates in your throat makes you painfully swallow, your heart shivering of sadness from hearing those words. He says it lightly, although the meaning behind it is sad. You put your hand on his back, caressing his tensed muscles as you scoot closer to him. He's warm, inviting almost and you hate yourself for craving his touch.

“Are you happy now?” you hesitate to ask, but relax when he doesn't seem too tensed from your question.

Slowly, he turns around, your hand falling off his back as he stares at you. It's hard to see his eyes, but you know he's looking at you. He reaches towards your face, caressing your soft skin as his thumb swipes across your lips. Your breath hitches but you don't dare to look away or flinch, it feels too good to do that.

“I'd like to think that I am.” he answers.

It's something about the tone and the way he says it, making it sound painful yet smooth and joyful. He's a one big mystery you were always trying to solve, but if he's not the one opening himself to you, it's pointless. But you see it now. So many things have changed and you get to know a new side of him, each layer he has, almost every day.

You don't know who moves the first, maybe the both of you at the same time, as your lips crashes together in a soft and slow manner. It's been so long since you've felt those lips against your own, enjoying how perfect they feel. As expected, he takes over the kiss, leading you the entire time as you adjust to his pace. It should be embarrassing how quick he has you squirming in your spot and groaning into the kiss, whenever he pulls onto your bottom lip. He cups your face for the better measure, while the other one holds your neck and fuck, how amazing it feels.

Even when your back meets the softness of your mattress, and your neck Seokjin's lips, you know you're utterly fucked. He hovers over you, kissing every sensitive spot which makes you giddy over the fact, he still remembers what makes you moan and clench around nothing.

His thigh is settled between your legs, and when he lightly nibbles onto your weak spot with his teeth, you automatically grind against him. He shushes your moans with his mouth, leaving your mouths connected before has to pull away after a couple of seconds.

“Jin,” you plead, arms hooked around his neck as you pull him closer.

The chuckle that leaves his mouth is shushed, but very audible to your ears as he nudges your nose with his own. “What do you want?”

Of course, he knows what you want from him. He just likes you to say it, even beg for it.

“You,” you whisper, arms traveling down his broad shoulders making its way to his defined chest and abs. “I want you.”

“Is that so?” he hums, nudging your cheekbone with his nose this time. “Are you sure?” he asks when he receives a few set of nods in response.

Your hand trails down, cupping him through his sweatpants, surprised when it's the only clothing separating his length and your hand. What shocks you the most, is the obvious erection poking underneath the thin material and how just the feel of it makes you aroused.

“Naughty,” he comments, pushing away the groan that wants to escape past his lips, clenching his jaw when you stroke him. He sits back on his knees, motioning for you to sit up and you obey, letting him taking off your loose shirt.

Now that you think about it, it seems like it's one of Seokjin's shirts he forgot here. If he noticed such a little detail, he doesn't comment it and softly lays you back down. You bite onto your lips, feeling his palm against your breast, groping the soft flesh.

“So big,” he hums, noticing how bigger they seem and feel ever since you got pregnant. Surprisingly, he leans against your chest, sucking on your nipple as he licks it a few times.

Your palm slaps against your mouth, silencing all those moans and soft groans. He does the same thing to the other breast, coating it with his saliva as he trails down onto your stomach, kissing and licking your skin.

You haven't thought about having sex for a long time, there was never a proper time to think about such thing. You've spent all your time taking care of Yoojin, that the thought of another man and your intimate life was the least of your worries. There were times your hormones would act up, and you craved for someone else's touch. Your mind often drifted to the man that's enveloping your body with his mouth, no matter how many times you've reminded yourself that he's not right for you.

You were so busy trying to be the best mother you could be, that you never really thought about having sex after nine months you gave birth. You got in shape, although your body is not what it used to be. Your breasts got bigger and you still got some fat on your stomach and thighs. And for this very time, you're lucky there's a darkness in the room and Seokjin can't tell all the stretchmarks that failed to disappear.

His hand disappears between your thighs, chuckling when he notes you've no underwear. “Naughty girl.” he chuckles, circling your opening teasingly as you bite onto your lower lip.

It hurts, but you've to keep your mouth shut if you don't want to wake up your son.

“Can you...” he trails off, your mind clouded with lust before you realize what he's asking.

“Yeah.” you answer, giving him the green light as he slowly pushes a one finger inside of you.

It feels weird, almost as if it's the first time you ever experienced this particular touch. Although, it doesn't take you too long to get used to it, hips bucking into his hand as you plead him for more. Surprisingly, he doesn't insist on begging, listening to you as he watches your body squirm in pleasure. He pumps his fingers inside and out, grazing your walls before he scissors them, penetrating you.

“Fuck, you got so tight.” he groans, pumping his fingers before he kisses you.

He barely used to do that. He barely kissed you during sex, and if he did, it was always harsh and rushed. This seems to be slow, but intense at the same time.

You've heard so much stuff of women getting even tighter after they gave birth. You weren't sure if that's true but if Seokjin can tell a difference and he's telling the truth, you guess all those articles were right. Woman's body is something amazing. It goes to its original state even after bringing a human into the world.

He adds another, silently shushing you when you whimper.

“I know, gotta stretch you out,” he whispers, pushing onto your clit with his thumb while his fingers continue to fill you up. “Have you had sex after you gave birth?”

There's a possibility he feels unsure, but he doesn't stop and continues with his movements as if he's not asking you such an intimate question.

Would he be angry if you said yes?

Would he become possessive all over again?

“No,” you whisper, clutching the sheets between your fingers. “You're my first.” you tell him, and you wish you could see his reaction more clearly. This way it seems he barely reacted, although he goes down to bite onto your collarbone which leaves you gasping.

You clutch his shoulders, frowning when he's still fully clothed. “And you?”

“You mean, if I had sex after giving birth?” he snorts, causing you to roll your eyes at him before you groan both in annoyance and pleasure.

“You know what I mean.”

“Then the answer is no,” he tells you, mouth pressed against your ear, so you can hear him clearly. “I haven't had sex with anyone else.”

“That's hard to believe.” you choke out, when he adds his fourth fingers making you breathe through it with a scrunched face.

He gives you the time to adjust, halting his movements. “I didn't. Believe it or not, I've found it hard to find someone else. Not that I was really looking for someone.”

It's the honesty that makes you pause, your heart hammering even faster and you wonder if he can feel it too with his chest pressed against your own. Before you can question him, your curiosity getting the best of you, he's already pumping his fingers again. Deciding you want to feel him, you hook your fingers underneath the hem of his sweatpants, hand disappearing into them as you finally grab him. He groans, surprised by your bolt move, as you slowly pump him.

You were right. He's not wearing any underwear, making it easier for you to access him. He feels just as thick as you remember him, the weight in your palm causing you to clench around his fingers.

“I need you.” you whisper, clearly enough for him to hear because you see him pulling away, staring at you.

“Don't you wanna cum? It'll be easier for me to--”

“I'm sure,” you interrupt him, pulling your hand out of his sweatpants. “Take your clothes off.” you tell him softly, surprised when he actually listens to you without any side remarks.

The loud thud of his clothes makes you both freeze, waiting for Yoojin to wake up but you barely hear the soft puffs leaving from the crib, before he goes back to you. You sit up, pushing him to lay down as he stares at you in confusion. There's not much place or time to actually speak, you're both aware you have to be quiet. Maybe you should just move it to the living room, but there's something thrilling about having sex knowing you've to keep your mouth shut.

“I wanna ride you.” you whisper, already sitting down onto his abdomen, his hardened length poking you into your ass.

“Holy fuck.” he grunts, hands gripping your hips before you lift yourself up, enough to grab his length and make yourself more comfortable.

His head pokes your entrance, your walls clenching just from the thought of feeling him stretching you, as you slide him up and down. Your other hand is outstretched onto his defined abs, feeling how tense they're. You know you're teasing him, but he doesn't say anything and simply lets you take the lead.

Maybe it's the understatement, knowing you're about to have sex for the first time since Yoojin was born. Or maybe he just got a lot more understanding, appreciating current situation. You'd never have thought it'd come to this again, even though your dreams have been wild these couple of months.

Slowly and cautiously, you slide down onto him, your mouth opening at the sudden stretch and burn that his fingers couldn't do. This way, he reaches you even deeper and he's not even halfway in. He's groaning, doing an awful job to contain the pleasure, while you whimper with each inch that you take him.

This has to be difficult for him too. If he's really telling the truth, which you believe him, he haven't had sex for a long time.

Oh, if you just knew he's minutes from spilling himself like some teenager.

Maybe it's just that exact reason, him not having sex for a long time. Or it's you and the way you feel around his length, making him throb inside of you as he twitches when you finally take all of him. A few seconds of adjusting yourself to his huge length, and you're already bouncing on him. Your arms failing you, your body falling onto Seokjin's chest as he holds your body even closer, meeting your thrusts with his hips. He's fucking into you, taking the control even though you're the one on top. He envelopes you in his arms, making you feel closer to him than ever.

You can't describe it, but this time it's different. It's not just sex full of lust and pleasure, there's something else there. You know you don't love each other, but there is a certain kind of chemistry going between you two. Instead of fucking you so hard trying to chase his own pleasure, his movements are quick but still soft. It might sound stupid or ridiculous, but it feels lot more closer. Like there's an actual connection between you two, and it's not just from the fact he's inside of you.

“Fuck, Jin, I can't--” you whimper into his neck, silencing your moans as he starts to fasten up.

“Come on, cum for me. Let me feel you.” he grunts into your hair, digging his fingers into your back and hips as he urges you to cum.

With a few more thrusts, you're cumming around him as your whole body shakes, but he's there to hold you through it.

”Shhh, you did so great. You were amazing.” he shushes you, his length twitching inside of you, reminding you of its presence and need.

You slide off him, settling yourself between his legs before you take him into your mouth, hand gripping the rest that you can't take. Bobbing your head and stroking him with your hand, you feel his fingers grabbing your hair. Swiping your tongue and repeating the same process couple of times, causes him to let out a low growl as he's spilling himself into your mouth. He twitches in your mouth, emptying himself and when he's done, he sighs.

You let him go with a pop sound, swallowing all of his cum as you sit down onto your knees, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand.

“That was... fucking amazing.” he breathes out, his rigid breathing filling the bedroom.

The sex itself wasn't the longest you both had, but it was intense and probably the best one. Something's telling you he thinks the same thing as he seems to be far more affected than ever.

“Yeah,” you chuckle, agreeing with him as you stand up.

“Where are you going?” he asks immediately, already leaning against his elbows as he watches you in the darkness.

“To take a shower,” you answer, stating the obvious while a surprised 'oh' leaves his mouth. “Can you please watch Yoojin?”

He coughs, nodding his head remembering that you can't probably see him that well. “Sure.”

You go take a shower, smiling giddily for the whole time the water splashes onto your body, ignoring the little jumps your heart does every time you replay what has just happened. When you're done, Seokjin takes his turn to take a shower while you can't fall asleep. Staring at the ceiling, you're surprised when the bedroom door are pushed open. You don't move, nor close your eyes as you feel him getting into your bed. You don't comment it, nor does he. You're not even sure if he knows you're still awake and you wonder what's been going on in his head again.

What made him to come here and sleep next to you?

Nevertheless of your raging thoughts, you find yourself relaxing when you feel a warm body next to you. Small part of you wishes he'd pull you closer, letting you feel his warmth properly.

But even without that, you manage to fall asleep in a minute, enjoying his proximity and warmth while it lasts. And for the first time, you wake up next to him peacefully dreaming and sleeping in your bed.

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