#my stress is so high yikes

[pacificgasandelectric]

Current Events in Silm fandom rlly reinforce my feeling that, despite claiming an ethos of acceptance/tolerance of anything that doesn't hurt ppl, a lot of ppl in the section of Silm fandom I frequent do follow a set of socially-agreed-upon mores about what concepts are "not acceptable" to discuss or propose (or the ways in which certain topics must be discussed to be acceptable), that you all seem to have agreed on despite the things those mores restrict not being harmful to anyone.

And when someone does say smth that violates those mores, the response is disproportionate to the amount of harm done (which is typically none, imo). I know it's tempting to say "but we just want people to be comfortable and safe", but treating ppl badly for the sin of sharing thoughts you dislike is NOT the same as preventing people from doing things that are harmful. The former is much more of a harmful behavior than the sharing of the thoughts that sets it off. Fannish etiquette, people: you shouldn’t act like someone’s meta makes them morally suspect just because you disagree with it; save the “this is morally bad” for things that are ACTUALLY harmful. We're all stuck on this website together & if you want to have any sort of community, you need to ACT like you're in a community, and that means letting other people say things you dislike. Block them if you need to! I block people all the time because i know it's better for me AND for them if we can both blog in peace.

I am not particularly comfortable with the young-queer-on-tumblr silm fandom rn due to this tendency to rebuke things that are uncomfortable rather than harmful. Maybe that's fine with you. But if your goal is to make all fans feel comfortable and accepted, you need to actually do that. If your goal is to make people who share your unwritten rules comfortable in your space, you need to admit that, and write those rules down, and curate your space so it follows them.

Edited 8:10am PST to clarify the specifics of the behavior I find concerning.

#mine #if there had been Actual Harm done i'd feel differently #but when ppl are this worked up over 'what if [female character] was Also a bad person in a way that's reprehensible to our current morals' #and start going ‘hm this person is morally suspect for their Taste In Fiction’ im like. yikes! and you do this in the War Crimes Fandom?! #and like listen i Get that esp in this fandom there's a high incidence of like. ppl who are genuinely bigoted and stuff #and it can be stressful to see stuff that reminds you of that bigotry and the way those ppl use the work to justify their own worldview #but that STILL doesn't give anyone the right to police stuff that Isn't Bigoted. that's just not how this works. #and then in terms of 'well it's not policing it's just disagreeing' i have to say. that's where Etiquette comes in and i'm frankly #unhappy & annoyed that so many ppl in my age group seem to care more about being Right than being comfortable to share a fannish space with #but again whatever maybe they don't want me in their space. that's fine! i don't want to be in your space if it doesn't want me. #but i wish they'd fucking ADMIT THAT instead of going 'ooooh we accept everyone' and then turning around #and censuring ppl whose ideas they find icky. you can't have it both ways is all i'm saying. pick one and actually do it. for all our sakes #haha i might regret this tomorrow but i'm sooooo sleep-deprived and so annoyed #sorry to my non-silm followers it's just that i'm right and i should say it

[wiinterbunny]

📚📝🌸

#im meeting my old classmate from high school today #we're gonna go to the library (in the middle of the city yikes...) and she'll study and i'll read #i cant do my work remote lol bc i dont have a laptop...... and my phone isn working #so i should do my assignment but i literally cant #i'll just read #but idk... #it's just stressing me out. it feels like a chore. smth i should do #i said yes when she asked even if i dont feel like it bc i've said no to her a couple of times lately #and if i keep saying no she'll eventually stop asking #but yes tbh i really dont want to go today. and not bc i dont like her or anything #i do have avpd and i just dont feel comfortable w her and therefore im now stressed #bc it feels like a performance. i have to go there and be normal bc this is what ppl do #not bc i want to hang out or spend time w someone #i feel mean bc it's not her fault. she's very kind. but it's just how i feel bc of me.. #so yeah im going soon even if i dont want to bc i cant say no too many times

[teddiesworldd]

muffled moans and whiskey kisses.

is it morally okay to fuck a customer? (2.4k words)

a\n: thank you for all the love on my first posts! i hope you love this one just as much! also, if it wasn't made clear, ghost is wearing a mask with a cut-out for his mouth. enjoy!

pairing: ghost x female waitress!reader

tags/warnings: nsfw mdni!!, just a regular ol' bathroom hookup with the biggest guy you've ever seen, porn with plot, hickeys, a little choking if you squint

it was one of those shifts where the hours just dragged on and on. the day felt like it was never going to end as you wiped down another table and laid out the silverware neatly on top of a napkin. your mind wandered off somewhere else, but you snapped back to reality when you saw 4 huge guys walk through the pub doors and stroll over to the bar. one looked a little older than the others with a thick blonde moustache and cream bucket hat. two of them were a little shorter, a scruffy mohawk on one and the other with tanned skin covered by a blue jacket. however, it was the fella trailing behind them who made your hairs stand on end. he was absolutely giant. he was wearing a tight black t-shirt that showed off the thick, red scars which ran down his massive arms. and just to add to it, his whole face, except for his eyes and mouth, was covered by a worn-out skull mask. you realised you were staring when his dark eyes met yours and you shifted your glance back down to the table you were tending to. you could feel his eyes burning onto you as he walked past.

it was only when all 4 men were seated that you realised your colleague was still out the back and you'd have to go over and make their drinks for them yourself.

no biggie.

you make drinks for people all the time.

you desperately tried to calm your own nerves as you walked over to the bar, suddenly aware of how tight your clothes felt. the sweat on your palms. the loose hairs that had fallen from your ponytail and were now tickling your neck.

not people like this.

you were a confident person most of the time, but this skull-face guy was intimidating as hell. and the way he looked at you like a piece of meat earlier, like he wanted to eat you up. yikes. you pushed the little door open and walked behind the bar, smoothing down your waitressing apron and putting on your best customer-service smile.

"what can i get for you?"

the first three were relatively nice. the older chap was quite charming, really, making polite small talk and asking about your day. the guy with the mohawk tried cracking a few jokes which made you cringe a little but it was sweet regardless. and you noticed the military badge on the blue jacket of the third man, which made a lot of sense as the bar was right next to the military base. you had soldiers and the likes come in often, trying to drink away the stress of their day. but these guys were different. high-ranking, probably. after you had served the three, you moved down towards the fourth and asked the same question. it was only now that you realised how dark his eyes actually were. they were like dark pools of chocolate. like an empty street at night. and his pretty blonde lashes were like the stars. how could someone so big and scarred be pretty? you wondered.

"a whiskey, please."

his voice was so deep, and he had a bit of a manchester twang to his words. something about him, though frightening, was sort of attractive. the way the corners of his mouth turned up when he spoke to you. the way his huge hands rested on the bar, twiddling and fidgeting with his thick fingers and rings like he was nervous. the way he looked at you said otherwise. you wondered what those hands would feel like on you. in you. he didn't break eye contact with you the whole time he ordered, licking his lips with a sparkle in his eye. you poured the drink, then turned back to him and placed it in front of him. he thanked you and sipped it slowly.

the men stayed for a while, chatting about their recent missions and such, laughing and ordering more drinks. but the masked guy kept looking at you, sometimes at your face, sometimes at where your flesh spilled out over the buttons of your white shirt. he wasn't exactly trying to hide it either, the perv. you couldn't help but look at him too, shamelessly. he even caught you a few times looking at the way his muscles moved as he brought the glass up to his lips.

when he excused himself and walked over to the bathrooms, you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding, the tension between the two of you was almost suffocating. however, this was the complete opposite of a break from him.

he stood in front of the door like, well, like a ghost. his finger beckoning you to follow him. you questioned your life up to this point and scanned around the pub, it was pretty late on a weekday so it was completely empty except for the group at the bar. you put down the glass you were polishing, took off your apron and excused yourself to the three men who remained in front of you. luckily, none of them payed much attention, going straight back to their conversation.

you know what he wanted from you, of course, it wasn't like he was bringing you into the bathroom for a conversation. but still, a part of you just couldn't believe what was about to happen. he was probably a whole foot taller than you, and twice as wide.

he must be absolutely packing. he'd probably spilt me open.

you tried not to think about it.

you pushed the door quietly, your manicured nails tapping gently when they made contact. you barely even pushed the thing open before he was pulling you by the wrist into the nearest cubical, and locking the door behind him. he didn't say a word. he just pressed his lips to yours. the kiss got heated pretty quickly. you could taste the whiskey on his tongue. the way your mouths fitted together - it was like you were made for each other. it felt so perfect. so addictive.

he pulled away and moved his head into the crook of your neck, kissing and sucking and leaving dark red marks across your collarbone. you couldn't help the moan that left your lips, earning a quiet "shhhh, lovie" between kisses. his voice was gorgeous. he soon reached your cleavage, planting bites and kisses all over. there was something so refreshing about him. most guys you'd been with didn't care about any of this stuff, they just wanted to be done as quickly as possible. not him, he took his time marking you, like you were something rare and precious. like you were something special. he moved his hand up to undo the buttons of your shirt, looking up at you with lust filled eyes.

"do you want this? hm? do you want me?" he growled.

you couldn't believe he was teasing you already. of course you did. "mhmm" you nodded frantically, trying to speed him up by undoing your buttons yourself, but he stopped you at the first one.

"ah ah, no. be patient, doll. tell me. tell me you want me." he asked nicely this time, waiting for your response.

"please," you whined out, a little more desperately as you intended, trying to retain a little bit of your dignity. you were still fully clothed, you didn't want to seem too needy. yet.

after hearing your response, he placed another kiss to your chest and started undoing the buttons. so slowly. it was like torture. you placed you small hand onto the back of his head, guiding him down, which he must of liked because it made him look up at you with the most devilish glint in his eye. oh, this man was about to ruin you. he hooked his fingers into the waist of your skirt, pulling it all the way off and stuffing it into the pocket of his jeans. what a gentleman, he didn't want your clothes getting all dirty on the floor of the men's bathroom. gross. after spending a second admiring your pretty lace panties and matching bra, he asked you, "you always wear underwear like this, love? what a little slut you are." something about the way he spoke to you made you absolutely wet. he looked gorgeous at this angle, knelt down in front of you, shoulders broad, inches away from your heat. part of you wanted to just pull his face into you, but he was definitely much stronger than you, so unfortunately you'd just have to wait it out.

he kissed the inside of your thighs, then over your clothed clit, making you beg for him again. then he pulled your underwear to the side, finally pressing his mouth to your soaked pussy. he felt amazing. he must be pretty experienced because he knew exactly how, when and where to make you whine and pant at every movement. the way his tongue swirled in little circles around your clit made your head spin. and the way he looked at you, never breaking eye contact, he was intoxicating. you knew if you made too much noise then his friends would definitely hear you - the walls were pretty thin. but it was so hard when he was sending you towards the edge so quickly. and when he pushed two of his thick fingers inside of you, you had to cover your mouth to keep yourself quiet. he curled it just right to hit the perfect spot inside you over and over. just his hand was stretching you out, and hitting spots that had never been hit by your own fingers. you knew you weren't going to last much longer at the brutal pace he was moving inside of you. you hooked your leg over his huge shoulder, and when he started sucking you could feel the knot in your stomach twisting. he knew this too and when you clenched around his fingers he pulled away, leaving you a panting, sweaty mess and depriving you of your orgasm.

"don't worry, doll. i'm not done with you yet," he said, standing up and turning you around so your chest was against the wall with your back to him. "want you to come on my cock, not on my fingers."

you could hear him undoing his belt and his cargo pants dropping to the floor behind you. he grabbed your hips and pulled your ass back towards him, lining you up nicely. you just knew it was going to be the biggest you'd ever taken. his tip prodded at your entrance, and he pushed slowly into you. he was huge. you hissed as he pushed inside, and he immediately stopped, checking if you're okay before carrying on, splitting you open. once you had adjusted, he started moving at a more regular pace, fucking you deep and slow. your tight pussy gripping his dick like a vice. he managed to find that spongey spot inside of you pretty quickly, hitting it over and over and causing you to let out a pornographic moan. he brought his hand over your mouth in response, muffling your slutty noises.

"is that good, lovie? yeah? you like it when i fuck you like that?" he groaned into your ear, bending over to kiss your neck and bare shoulder.

your eyes rolled back in response, bouncing back into him, which he didn't appreciate very much. with a deep grunt, the hand that remained on your hip tightened its grip, keeping you in place as he pounded into you. your head fell back into his chest in pure ecstasy, the pleasure being almost overwhelming. you could feel like knot building inside you again, getting close to your orgasm once more. his hand moved from his hip down between your legs, rubbing your clit just right, causing you to shriek into his hand. your legs began to shake as you were hurtling towards your climax. when you finally came, he had to move his hand from your clit to under your waist, holding you upright as your orgasm rocked through you. you cried out into his palm, tears forming in the corners of your eyes from the overwhelming pleasure.

when you finally fell back down to earth, he brought you to your knees and pushed his huge cock into your mouth to chase his own orgasm. it was the first time you'd managed to get a proper look at it. it was the perfect shade of baby pink, your own juices gleaming on his tip. a thick vein ran down the shaft all the way to his firm, full balls. he had a decent amount of blonde hair that trailed upwards towards his bellybutton and disappeared under his t-shirt. you happily took him into you mouth, taking him as far as you could and stroking the rest with your hand. his hand found its way around your neck and squeezed gently, feeling so small in his massive hand. you looked up at him and noticed how he was biting his lip, trying to keep himself quiet. the way his eyes rolled back when you chocked on the sheer size of his dick was so hot that it almost made you want to turn back around and ask for round two. but before you knew it, he was holding your ponytail in his fist and thick ropes of cum were filling your cheeks and running down your throat. his grip on your neck and hair tightened as he let out a grunt, which was loud enough for the boys at the bar to hear for sure, but you didn't care anymore. this man was truly something else.

he helped you get up, dressed and clean afterwards, returning your skirt and carefully wiping your mouth with his thumb. he smiled at you as he did this, telling you how pretty you were and how he just had to fuck you. you went back into the pub one after the other, as to not raise suspicion. but your makeup was all ruined and he had sort of a pornstar sweat-glow to him, so it was pretty obvious regardless. he finished the last mouthful of his whiskey and left with his boys.

it was only when you'd cleaned up their glasses and locked up the pub that you realised you didn't ask for his number. or even his name, for god's sake.

but you were sure that this wouldn't be the last time that giant of a man would stumble in for a drink on a wednesday afternoon.

˚✧. thank you for reading!

˚✧. please reblog to support me <3

˚✧. dividers by @ saradika-graphics and @ si-eunnis

✎ masterlist

💌 send a request

#call of duty #cod mw2 #ghost smut #ghost x reader #simon riley smut #simon riley x reader #ghost cod #call of duty smut #teddiesworldd

[finalgirlfae]

Can you write something where reader meets Mile’s parents for the first time as his gf?And they get along well:,))

meeting the parents, miles morales

genre: fluff

pairings: miles morales x fem reader

summary: you meet miles’ parents as his official girlfriend for the first time

notes: in my head the reader is afro latina like miles, and also my spanish is rough so bare with me for a second. also since people love to argue with me; before y'all start yes i know what the song is about🤗

“MILES i’m shitting bricks right now i’m so nervous.” you spoke to your boyfriend over facetime. two and a half months on a random new york city rooftop while the sun set, miles had asked you to be his girlfriend- officially. the two of you had been talking for about two months before he asked and now it was time for inevitable turning point in every relationship; meeting the parents.

you should be happy you made it this far! guys suck, but guys in new york city? they sucked even worse. so to meet a great guy who really liked you and wanted to introduce you to his parents was a major win. but there was a feeling eating at you, one that terrified you. what if his parents didn’t like you?

“what if i call platainos plantain and she tells me to get out of her house? i’m so scared-”

“baby, baby,” miles spoke from the phone on your dresser. you could hear the bustle of city traffic around him. “tómalo con calma mami, okay? you gotta relax.”

“tómalo con calma” you mimicked, “miles how can you tell me to take it easy? this is literally more stressful than our chem test last week.”

you heard miles wince over the phone. “you’re that nervous? yikes.”

you ran over to your phone and picked it up in panic. “what do you mean yikes??”

“nothing. look i’m outside, buzz me in.”

you sighed and walked out of your room to the living space, pressing the buzzer to open the door. miles would be up here in a minute and then you’d be on your way to meet his parents. his mom was making lunch for everyone.

you moved over to the mirror in your living room and gave yourself a good look, you didn’t want a single hair out of place when you met them. it was a warmer summer afternoon with the sun high in the sky, not a single cloud was in sight. to compensate the hot weather, you wore a faded green tank top with butterflies decorated on it with a clear quartz crystal necklace and denim skirt. your hair was in a ponytail, coils bunched tightly together and edges laid perfectly. you went over to the kitchen, opening the fridge door and getting the small bouquet of flowers you had bought for miles’ mom. they were pink and yellow tulips; her favorite according to miles.

when the door bell run you walked over, opening it to reveal your boyfriend. “hey baby.” he spoke, stepping into the apartment.

“hello my love.” you wrapped an arm around his waist, bringing the boy closer to you and leaning up on your tippy toes to give him a soft kiss. he smiled down at you, wrapping arms around your body and bringing you into another kiss. when you both pulled away he looked you up and down. “you look beautiful baby, those for me?” he joked, pointing at the flowers.

“thank you but no.” you gave him the flowers to hold and slipped on some air force ones, “these are for your mom.”

he gave you a big smile, kissing your temple. “that’s so sweet! very thoughtful, baby. she’s gonna love them- and you, let’s go.”

you couldn’t even respond before miles hand was wrapped around your wrist, tugging you wearily out of your new york city apartment. he barely gave you enough time to grab your purse before you two were walking down the street to the 2 train. five stops later you were walking out the station and to his apartment building.

“miles i’m scared.” you grimaced as you made your way into the elevator. he held your hand, giving it a gentle and reassuring squeeze. “there is nothing to be afraid of mi querida.”

“qué pasa si a ellas no les gusto?”

miles only sighed at your question. “ellos van a. even on the impossible chance they don’t it wouldn’t matter to me, i like you.”

a small smile spread on your face. “you know you’re so corny right? you got no game.” you laughed as the elevator dinged and the door opened.

“yeah but i still pulled you didn’t i?” he asked, smirking to himself and holding your hand as you walked down to his apartment. your heart was beating out of your chest.

“aye aye,” miles turned to you. fuck, you forgot he could hear things like that. “mi amor, estará ben. breathe, okay? they’re just people.”

“yeah cariño but they’re your people. it’s important to me how this lunch goes.”

he smiled and kissed your cheek. “me too. let’s go.” miles used the hand that wasn’t in your to find his keys. he unlocked the door, pushing it open and stepping inside. immediately your nose was hit with the smell of delicious food. there was music playing from the stereo under the tv, a song you recognized.

"mom, dad! estamos en casa!" he called out as he stepped out of his shoes. you did the same and hung your purse on a coat hook before taking the flowers from miles, he had held them on the way over.

a few seconds later his parents walked into the living room. miles nudged you and you walked over to meet them. "mom, dad, this is my girlfriend. y/n."

"hello." you smiled. "it's nice to meet you lieutenant and mrs morales." you shook his dad's hand before turning to his mom. "mrs. morales, these are for you." you handed her the bouquet and watched the smile spread on her face as she took them. she brought you into a hug, "it's nice to meet you too sweetheart, i've heard a lot about you."

when you two pulled away from the hug you could almost feel miles' smile, he knew that she'd like you. “y/n why don’t you sit down and miles you come help me bring the food out.”

“i can help you, ma’am."

she looked at you for a second before nodding. "thank you! the kitchen's that way." she pointed. you nodded and began walking. rio turned to look at miles, mouthing "she's very pretty" before following you into the kitchen. when you were both there miles and his father walked to set the table.

"so.." miles began. "what do you think?"

"i'm happy she's not white." his dad laughed, smacking his arm and making miles give him a face. he knew he was talking about his past situationship type thing with gwen. "come on dad seriously, what do you think of her?"

his dad placed down four glasses. "i think she's very nice, very pretty and well mannered. nice job."

you and rio walked back into the kitchen, both holding pots and pans.

"what did you make mami?" miles asked, pulling out a chair for you. when you sat down he smiled and pushed it in before sitting next to you. across from you two were his parents.

"i made mofongo, arroz con gandules, alcapurrias and some tostones. oh, and for dessert i made some quesitos."

"i love quesitos!" you exclaimed. she smiled at you. "i know, miles told me. you're panamanian, right?" she asked, sitting across from you and beginning to serve you some mofongo.

you nodded, thanking her and placing a napkin on your lap. "yeah, on my dad's side."

"what does your dad do?" lieutenant morales asked as he began to eat.

"he used to work nypd but he retired a few years ago, 20 years."

his dad nodded, seeming impressed.

as you began to ease into their presence, you eased into the conversation as well. everything felt so natural and soon all your fears were alleviated. miles parents were really nice and also funny as hell. besides that they were genuinely good people and you could understand why miles turned out to be the wonderful person he is. he had great role models.

as the meal winded down miles mom brought out two dozen fresh baked quesitos with powdered sugar on top. "careful." she said to you. "you might have to fight miles for them. his appetite has been insatiable lately."

you and miles both looked at each other, stifling laughter. just as you were about to respond the stereo distracted you.

un matrimonio africano esclavos de un el les daba muy mal trato

ya su negra le pegó español

"oh my god." you spoke standing up. all three of them looked at you. "what?"

el les daba muy mal trato y a su negra le pegó

"me encanta esta canción!" you grabbed miles' hands and pulled him into the living room.

y fue allí, se reveló el negro guapo tomó venganza por su amor yaún se escucha en la verja no le pegue a mi negra

as the music played, you and miles began to salsa dance around the living room. "you know for a superhero who's thing is being acrobatic, you're a surprisingly bad dancer." you teased, making sure to whisper.

no le pegue a la negra no le pegue a la negra

oye man no le pegue a la negra

miles sucked his teeth, "my thing is webs."

you gigled, "i bet you shoot them out your trasero."

"man shut up." miles laughed, grabbing your hands and doing a roomba as he spun you, "see," he asked, hands going back to your waist, "i ain't too bad."

lleva la cadena lleva la cadena

"you stole that move from me!" his dad exclaimed, pulling rio in by her waist and beginning to dance beside you two. the rest of the night was filled with dancing, laughter and conversation. it's safe to say miles' parents liked you, and that'd you'd be welcome for many more meals at the morales house.

#fluff #miles morales x reader #miles morales x you #miles morales #request #faes requests #across the spiderverse

[banamine-bananime]

Growing up I lived in an area with a lot of cattle farming and I was very scared of the cows. Do you have any cool facts that will make me either more or less afraid of cows?

oh hmm let me think on that!

facts related to how to interact with cows so all parties feel and stay safe:

they have a very prey herd animal mentality. they want to move with their herdmates. they want to watch any potential threats like people and move away from them. they don't like loud or unfamiliar noises (they're sensitive souls. sometimes if i visit a dairy wearing waterproof coveralls where the cows are only used to people wearing cotton coveralls, just the whisper of waterproof pants rubbing against each other can spook them) or abrupt movements or going into areas they can't see well (and they have difficulty with depth perception due to their wide-set eyes for 300 degree vision, and with high-contrast, so going from sun into shade or vice versa can look like stepping into a white or black void for them and they don't like it)

based on this, we know the keys to low-stress cattle handling are consistency in how you interact with them, calmness (small movements, quiet words to let them know you're there), moving cows in groups big enough to have friends but small enough you can control the whole group without them milling around or the ones in front stopping and causing a traffic jam, and slowly moving them by just barely getting in their "bubble" of "whoa, you're a little too close for comfort, i'm going to move in the other direction" without ever getting into their "YIKES RUN AWAY FROM THIS THING" bubble

the last point involves understanding pressure and flight zones and point of balance:

from Mississippi State University Extension:

from grandin.com (highly recommend as a source of information about animal behaviour and welfare!!! temple grandin my idol since i was like nine i love her so. and i tear up when i think about how much she's done for millions of animals ;_; she's a genius and no lie revolutionized low-stress handling):

pet cows that get doted on enough to bond with people may not see people as a threat so the normal ways we use pressure zones to iinteract with cows don't necessarily do anything for them. you would lead them more like a horse, using a halter. or lure them with treats.

beef cows typically have little contact with people, often just processing (vaccines, preg checks, quick exam for any health problems) a couple times a year, so they can be very wild. doesn't mean they're aggressive, the overwhelming majority are non-aggressive but they have very large flight zones, so if you don't recognize that and approach too quickly, getting deep in their flight zone, that can get you into a dangerous situation where they get aggressive as a last resort. that said, they do usually still choose flight unless their calf is with them. "never get between mom and baby" applies as it does with any species

dairy cows are in between beef cows and pet cows. they interact with people regularly, several times per day, and it's respectful but not doting. kind of a business relationship with their handlers. they're not terrified of people by any means, but they haven't been, like, hand-fed treats to get over their instinctive wariness of potential-predator-like animals, and they know sometimes handling results in unpleasant experiences like medical treatment or pregnancy checks, so they avoid touch and have a flight zone, though it's small (and sometimes they'll calmly let you walk right up to them unrestrained, or approach you and lick you out of curiosity). very very rare to have an aggressive dairy cow (as in, one that attacks you instead of moving away when you're bothering them a little. really bothering them and ignoring body language when they can't move away is much more likely to get you kicked)

bulls are not docile. not every bull will be aggressive, but you should assume that every bull has the capacity to become aggressive with little provocation, and always keep a respectful distance and know your escape route if you have to be in a pen or field with them

cows love exploring with their tongues. any time you're in a dairy barn there's gonna be at least one friendly girl mlem mlem mlemming who won't leave you alone

adding on to the above, there is a slight caveat that you still have to be a LITTLE wary of friendly cows. 99% of the time they're just friendly but sometimes cows in heat will try to mount people. you don't have to be scared of friendly cows but if they're right next to you just keep them in your line of sight so you can move away if they make like they're going to mount. again, not common, never happened to me, but something to be aware of

signs of a happy, relaxed cow: lying down, chewing cud or eating, tail hanging down relaxed, moving slowly with her herd

signs of a slightly wary cow (you have entered the "pressure zone"): standing still/stopping what she's doing, turning towards you, ears turning towards you (watching the ears is a very good way of knowing what she's paying attention to), tail swishing or raised a bit away from body

signs of a distressed cow: vocalizing (they also moo for other reasons though), tail swishing, fidgeting/pawing/looking like she wants to move but doesn't know where to, freezing up and intermittently making erratic movements (back away a little)

signs of an aggressive cow: head down with attention on you, pawing ground, turning to show you their broad side. (turn sideways and calmly but swiftly walk away diagonally)

#cattle #veterinary

[pinkanonwrites]

Washrack Academy

Jetstorm and Jetfire have a lot of questions about humans. But you? You just want to take your shower in peace.

TFA Jetfire, TFA Jetstorm, and Reader, no ships but it's implied Jetfire has a little crush on the reader, human reader, non-sexual nudity, is it still voyeurism if it's mostly fueled by curiosity? probably, AFAB Reader with GN Pronouns, alien anatomy discussions

"You know, humans are being much more hygienic than Sentinel says they are being."

You rolled your eyes, hefting your small duffel bag further up your shoulder. "Yeah, well Sentinel doesn't know as much about humans as he thinks he does. Most people I know shower every other day at the very least. We aren't big fans of being dirty."

"But now you are being extra dirty!" Jetstorm loomed over you with a cheeky grin, running a huge metal digit over the top of your head. A slick of motor oil came with it, sending another disgusted shiver down your spine at the gooey sensation. "Bumblebee maybe needs to working on power steering! And not splashing human friends with drinks of celebration."

Being a human liaison representing the city of Detroit on Cybertron was already a job way outside of the normal parameters of your career, and the stress was leaving you pretty wired. But Bumblebee accidentally tipping an oversized can of motor oil off a table and directly onto your head while showing off just had to be the final nail in the coffin. In front of a whole bunch of big important Autobots and everything.

Now you were being flanked on either side by Sentinel Prime's personal squadron (a gig they eagerly volunteered for and a choice both you and Sentinel had little say in) as they showed you to whatever the Cybertronian equivalent of an army base locker room was so you could get cleaned up. 

"And motor oil not to be damaging your fluffy organic fibers?" Great, now Jetfire was poking at your greasy hair too. At least he had half a processor to keep his igniters off while he did.

"It's called hair. And it'll only damage it if I leave it in too long. Plus, it's really bad for my skin."

"Good for it not to be doing badness to hair! Yikes for it to be doing badness to skin. So sensitive, little organics. Must be very hard!"

"You're telling me, bud."

"Here! Coming this way." Jetstorm gestured for you to follow him through a tiled doorway. The room beyond looked remarkably similar to the locker room you'd had in high school, though blown up to a cartoonish scale. "We have tiny washrack for mini-bot sizes. Maybe too big for you still, but is better than nothing!"

He wasn't exaggerating, the handles for the mini-bot sized faucets were still a good two or three feet out of your reach. 

"Where do you even put your towels? Your soap?" You glanced around but failed to find any bench or wall divot suitably placed for setting your things down. "Is there anywhere I can set my bag?"

"Just be putting bag into subspace! Easy for peasy!" A small compartment popped open on Jetstorm's chest, and from it he procured… a metal scouring pad? A giant one, about the size of a large restaurant platter. If the situation weren't so incredibly absurd already, you might've gotten a chuckle out of the idea of a robot using a Brillo pad as a loofah.

"Yeah, we don't… humans don't have that." You said instead. Because this situation was, in fact, incredibly absurd.

Jetfire and Jetstorm looked at each other, mirrored expressions of visible confusion. Then, they both shrugged.

"Being a human…"

"...Is very difficult!"

"Look, just- can one of you hold it for me? Please?"

"For certain! I will be best at human wash rack supplies holder job! Be counting on me." You dropped your duffel bag into Jetfire's cupped hands and wrenched it open. Grabbing your various bottles of hair product and a large towel from within, you lined them up on the floor along the wall and hopefully just beyond the reach of the shower's spray. But as you moved for the bottom of your shirt to pull it off, you felt the prickle of two pairs of optics staring just a little bit too hard at your body.

"Are you two just gonna… watch me? You can wait outside, you know."

"We are to be protecting you from curious bots! And make sure you do not do the snooping or the wandering off." Jetstorm insisted.

"Are you gonna do that while staring me down? A little privacy, please." Was it ironic to ask for privacy in a locker room? Probably. But most people had the decency not to stare while someone was getting undressed. 

Most people. Maybe that sentiment didn't extend to twelve foot tall transforming robot soldiers.

"Staring? Who is doing the staring? Certainly not us goodness bots!" 

"No, no! We would never be the staring! Especially not at soft and squishy little human frame!"

Both brothers rushed to cup a servo over their optics, continuously asserting their supposed innocence all the while. You sighed, peeling your way out of your slick and permanently stained clothes and letting them fall to the ground in an oily heap.

"Well I don't know how it is on Cybertron, but on Earth staring at people in the locker room is what we call 'bad manners.' You two ever heard of those?"

"We will being so very manners-filled! No staring from us at you, big promise." Jetfire insisted, carefully depositing your bag into his subspace as he brought his other servo up so they were both covering his faceplate.

"Though do not be trying to do the sneaking off while we are look-away! That would be also called 'bad manners.'" Added Jetstorm with a cheeky thumbs-up.

"I'm not going to go sneaking around your base naked, so you don't need to worry about that. Now could one of you get the water for me, please?"

As Jetstorm felt along the wall and cranked the water to partial blast, you swear you heard him ask his brother 'But what is "naked" meaning?' The hiss of the showerhead quickly covered it, though, and you decided you'd rather focus on getting clean before you struggled to explain the foreign concept to the pair of ridiculous twins. The water ran just hot enough to make your skin tingle as you lathered your hair with shampoo, vigorously scrubbing the motor oil free from your scalp. It'd probably take more than a few rinses to get everything out, you'd have to ask Professor Sumdac to bridge you some more toiletries way sooner than you'd originally planned. Maybe Sari could pick some up for you on her next trip home?

But as you lathered your hair up for the fourth (maybe fifth?) time, you couldn't help but notice a quiet, metallic buzzing that could just barely be heard over the hiss of water. It paused and fizzed in a rhythmic pattern, not all too dissimilar from Morse Code. It would stop for a moment, before picking up again, slightly lower pitched this time. It sounded almost like… a conversation.

"If you've got something to say, you can say it out loud." You called them out. Jetfire startled at the sound of your voice, his own sounding slightly strained. 

"What? But we are such quiet being!"

"You're doing that… that 'EM field' thing. Where you talk to each other with your brains? I've heard Bee and Bulkhead do it before. So, c'mon. What do you want to know?"

He clammed up, absentmindedly scuffing one of his pedes against the tiled floor. Jetstorm, meanwhile, had a sly grin growing across his faceplate. He raised his free servo up in the air like a student waiting to be called on.

"Actually, Jetfire is having a question!"

"I-I am not! Do not listen, brother is merely making funny joke!"

"No, no! Do not listen to him! Jetfire is very, very curious about human not having sp-MRMPH!"

A cacophony of metal on metal echoed through the wash racks as Jetfire tackled his brother to the wet tile, wrestling his servos over the other's intake to keep him quiet. Jetstorm grabbed for his brother's goggles and pulled him into a shaky headlock, even as Jetfire repeatedly kicked him in the knees with the flat of his pede. You scrambled to grab your towel, clutching it to your front as the two bots collapsed to the ground in an ear-splitting crash.

"Hey, HEY! Quit it! What the hell are you two doing?!"

Both of their heads snapped up at your tone, Jetstorm still looking mischievous while his brother had the decency to look a bit sheepish. He quickly pried Jetfire's servo off of his intake.

"Jetfire is wanting to know why humans do not have spike! You know, since he was doing the peeking."

"Y-You were also doing peeking! I know you were curious too!" Jetfire shot back.

"Maybe curious, yes, but you are obsessed! 'Oh, little humans are so soft and so squishy being! Why so warm? I want to be holding one!'"

"I am not sounding like that! You are making exaggeration!"

Jetfire seemed on the verge of tackling his brother again, so you quickly stepped in. "Okay, geez, look. I will answer one, ONE! Question each. And only if you stop hitting each other. That's it. I don't have the energy for this today."

The two bots awkwardly clambered back to their feet, Jetstorm looking down at you with a playful grin while Jetfire seemed to be looking anywhere but your unclothed frame.

"Brotherrrrr?" Jetstorm teased. "Would you like to be going first?" 

Jetfire dignified his brother's teasing with a sharp elbow to the side, but spoke anyway. "S-Sorry to be peeking when you said not, but, um, do humans not have- uh, not have spike? Or is it hidden? Maybe not pressurized? If embarrassing you don't have to say. No biggee."

You furrowed your brow. 'Spike.' You don't think you'd heard any of the Autobots use that term before, at least not around you. Maybe it was a built-in weapon? Or some sort of specialized armor plating?

"I, uh, I don't know what a spike is. Sorry. Can you be… more specific?"

Jetfire let out a high-pitched sound, similar to heat escaping a tea kettle, while his brother only seemed to beam even brighter at his humiliated suffering.

"Ah, you know! Spike!" Jetstorm grinned. "Right here, above valve? Comes out like 'fssshh'? No modesty panel on you, so maybe just hidden away!" He made a bunch of vague motions in front of his crotch, and with a looming horror you started to catch on as he mimed the motion of something growing and rising up in front of his crotch plate. His modesty panel.

Holy shit they had robot dicks.

"N-No? No, I don't have a- a spike." You were doing your absolute best to stay focused on the conversation at hand, not think about… about the robot penis that apparently all Cybertronians had? "Humans, uh, most humans just have one or the other. The, um, the spike or the… the…"

"Valve?" Jetstorm happily supplied.

"Sure? I guess?!"

"Something new to be learned every day! Right, brother?" Jetstorm thumped his brother on the back with an open servo, while Jetfire was openly refusing to make eye contact with you. The temperature in the room seemed to peak by a few degrees, and based on the heat waves rolling off of Jetfire's body you had an inkling suspicion it was his doing, however unintentional it may be. "Anyways, my turn, yes? You said word 'naked'. What is 'naked' meaning?"

"Uh, y-yeah. Um, yeah. Sure." God, you did not have the mental fortitude to deal with these revelations today. "Naked just means you're not… covered up? Wearing clothes. There are some parts on a human that have to be covered in public, otherwise it's uh… inappropriate." Your only solace was that now you had some sort of comparison to make between Cybertronians and humans. "Like, you guys wouldn't walk around with your… your spike out? Same for humans."

"Ohhh…" They even had stunned realizations in unison. You'd almost consider it cute, if you weren't already so burnt-out.

"Yep, well, class is over. Can I please get dressed now? Preferably without being watched?"

"A-Ah! Yes, of course! So sorry! Here is things." Jetfire quickly fumbled your duffel out of his subspace, only for it to slip through his digits and hit the floor with a thud. Wincing, he turned to shove his brother from the room, calling over his shoulder to you as they went. "We will be watching door so no bots do peeking! Then there is no way we be seeing you naked, not even little bit! Seeing you in moment- but not naked! Just normal seeing!"

"O-Okay? I'll be out in… a bit." But they were already gone. Weird. Weird couple of bots. But hey, at least now you could dry your hair in peace.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  

"Very bumpy landing, brother." Jetstorm couldn't fight his mirthful grin as he stared down at his spark-twin, who was currently sitting with his back to the wall outside the wash racks, knee-joints pulled up tight to his chassis and faceplate hidden from view. "I may not be seeing exact same appeal you do, but humans are verrrrrry entertaining being. That human especially so!"

"I wish to be offline." Jetfire lamented. "So awkward, very very uncool. They will never be speaking to me again."

"Do not be so downer, brother! They answer questions very nice, and do not even yell when you peeking at their array!"

Jetfire let out another pathetic wail. "Do not be reminding me! Me, caught peeking? Would rather scrub every rivet on Omega Supreme than be that embarrassing again." He slammed his helm against the tops of his knee-joints a few times for good measure, a loud, echoing clanking reverberating down the hall. "Why are little humans being so soft? A-And when covering self, why are little peeks of soft bits around towel so- so erotic?"

Jetstorm cackled, patting his brother atop the helm with his servo. "And to think, we thought being human is hard. Sounds like liking human is much, much harder!"

#transformers #transformers x reader #transformers imagines #transformers jetfire #transformers jetstorm #tfa jetfire #tfa jetstorm #long post #my writing #maccadam #i love these doofy robots and their doofy accents so much #you have no idea how much fun they are to write dialogue for #sorry this isnt smut but i PROMISE there's more smut stuff on the way

[percheduphere]

I wanted to find and gather some lesser appreciated Mobius moments from S1, and some thoughts occurred to me.

When we see Mobius drill into Loki about his choices, his thought patterns, whether or not he enjoys hurting people, Mobius comes down on Loki HARD, cruelly, goading, and manipulating (Sound familiar? Just wait...). He does so in a way that's confident he will get the answers he expects from Loki, which he does.

When we cut to the scenes with Renslayer, Mobius's truer, gentler side appears. The side that is kind and soft and believes in second chances. Notice, also, the difference in lighting between these scenes.

And then it hit me:

Mobius was using a carefully constructed persona--an illusion--with Loki to control the situation and get Loki into the headspace of self-reflection. He uses the very same technique Loki uses regularly to get the outcome that is beneficial for both of them.

Genius, really.

As we move into S1E2 and E3, the power dynamics are decidedly uneven, but once they are out in the field, Mobius's actual power and control over Loki is quite limited and actually banks on a LOT of faith. A ridiculous amount of faith, to be honest. Despite logical misgivings, Mobius makes a POINT of giving Loki freedom and trust because he has analyzed Loki enough to know that lack of trust perpetuates a destructive self-fulfilling prophecy.

So when Loki chooses to escape with Sylvie, all those centuries of belief and good will Mobius invested in him were thrown in his face. He's understandably furious, but the interrogation scene after both Lokis are captured simply does not read as normal without the additional lens of jealousy. If Mobius were not emotionally compromised in some way, he would have handled the interrogation clinically, and he would have sent Loki to be pruned without a thought.

Mobius doesn't do either of those things. Rather than asking Loki objective questions, he focuses on Loki's attention on Sylvie and verbally twists the knife where he can. His punishment for Loki after the interrogation is shockingly personal:

A word about the Sif loop scene: I really, REALLY hated that Mobius did that. It honestly made my gut churn. I think the writers tried to play it off for laughs because Loki gets kicked in the balls repeatedly, but the emotional undercurrent of Sif's words and everything that it means is just awful.

That said, I understand that this scene reveals not only Loki's vulnerability but ALSO Mobius's. This is a "passionate diagreement" through proxy. Mobius knows what would hurt Loki the most psychologically. But why would Mobius choose to hurt him this severely with these specific words?

Remember, this might be a memory, but Mobius is choosing to speak his feelings to Loki through Sif.

I think the answer is 4-pronged: First, Mobius put his career, reputation, and friendship with Ravonna on the line for Loki. The stress of the potential repercussions (which were HIGH) should Loki betray him was a constant heat on his neck. Despite this, Mobius chooses the riskier route of believing Loki would not betray his trust. And yes, within the context of what Mobius has done to advocate for Loki and what's at stake for Mobius should he fail, Loki absolutely betrays him.

Second, Loki told Mobius everything he believed about the TVA and his place in the multiverse is a lie. When was the last time Mobius reacted so violently?

When Brad called him a "nowhere man".

Mind, there is guilt beneath this anger. Not only has everything Mobius believed in been revealed as a lie, it is revealed he was complicit in the genocide of multiple timelines for which there was never any ultimate good. YIKES. That's a lot to take in, and Mobius at his core is a deeply empathetic person. The guilt of this horror, at his hands, is probably why Mobius does not defend himself when Sylvie tears him a new one in S2E4.

Three, I think Mobius may have wished for a friendship with Loki long before his intervention. I've written elsewhere that his intervention appears to be premeditated. Mobius was only waiting for his chance to come along. Who knows how many centuries that took. I believe he may have rationalized away his emotional attachment as a means to help the TVA succeed. Mobius is adept at suppressing not only his emotions but his wants.

Four, by S1E3, Mobius came to love Loki to some degree, platonic or otherwise. I think it's very difficult to not develop love for someone or something you've been tasked to be an expert on. Having Loki actually beside him, engaging with him over lunch and work, no doubt added some much needed color in Mobius's life. It's hard not to become infatuated with someone fun and exciting.

The jealous rage that overwhelms Mobius doesn't last long. When it comes down to it, Mobius can't help but believe in Loki. Doubt in the TVA takes root once his immediate anger dissipates. So Mobius steals Ravonna's TemPad, verifies Loki's claims, and immediately self-corrects. Mobius could have dug his heels in with more denial, but he doesn't. Why? Because Mobius ultimately cares more about Loki than himself.

When Mobius returns to Loki, he asks a few other questions that I can't share images for because of the 10-image limit. Those other questions include but are not limited to:

Do you care about Sylvie?

Do you really believe you deserve to be alone?

I should point out these questions are not at all tied to the well-being of the TVA or the multiverse. They are specifically tied to Loki's well-being. Loki's happinness.

Why does Mobius ask these questions? Because, in my opinion, Mobius was preparing himself to let Loki go, be with who he wants to be with (Sylvie), and fight the battle he wants to fight. Mobius will not be the obstruction to Loki's path to personal success even if that means letting go of the TVA, letting go of Ravonna, letting go of Loki himself.

All of this is a selfless act of love. What kind of love that is is up to the viewer, but it is very much there. It's real and integral to the story.

Classic Loki points out that this is a high cost. In response, Mobius takes the crux of his belief in Loki and directs it to himself.

The beauty of the goodbye scene in S1S6 is that the emotional thrust of selfless love is echoed and amplified in Loki's own self-sacrifice in S2E6. Loki lets go of the TVA, lets go of Sylvie, lets go of Mobius himself. Ouroboros.

#loki #mobius #lokius #loki season 2 #loki series #loki spoilers #loki meta #my meta #loki season 1

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for missing rehearsals for a concert?

I (17X) play the cello and am participating in my local conservatorium’s string ensembles concert in three days. I have been aware of the concert since the start of term (aka four weeks ago). For the first three weeks of this term, I have been completing my final high school exams (I can’t be more specific because it differs wordwide, but they’re the exams that acknowledge that you’ve fully completed your secondary education y’know) so that was obviously very intense and I had a lot on my plate. At the start of term, my cello teacher S (late 20s?F) told me that I’d be playing a solo in the big finale piece that everyone from every ensemble plays in, as I’m one of the more advanced students. I was given the music for this at the start of term, and we have been practicing it in our weekly lessons so that I am prepared. There will be a rehearsal for this piece a few hours before the concert begins. I was also aware that I was performing in my school strings ensemble (which is a piece I have played before with the ensemble and am familiar with), and S also organised that the four Year 12 students (including me) would play a piece together. She organised to have three rehearsals for this on the three days before the concert (aka today, tomorrow and the next). As by this time I knew I would have finished all my exams, I told her that I should be free to be at these rehearsals.

Since finishing high school a week ago, I have gotten a job at a local café, as I haven’t had a job in high school like most people due to not having time with my music commitments. Unfortunately, I was rostered to have work on the days of the first Year 12 piece rehearsal (aka today), the third Year 12 piece rehearsal, and the day of the concert itself (so I would miss the finale piece rehearsal beforehand and would just make it on time for the concert). I considered trying to swap these shifts so that I could go, but A) given that I am brand new (today was my third ever shift) I didn’t think it would be a good idea to try and get out of it so early on in my employment, and B) I didn’t actually have any way to contact a manager and ask for shifts off until today because they hadn’t properly sorted out my paperwork and information yet. I tried to look for solutions for this, but yesterday I decided that I just wouldn’t be able to make it, so I message S to inform her and apologise. She obviously wasn’t happy about this (she started her reply with “yikes”), and checked to see whether I was still happy to play in the school string piece (which I confirmed) and asked whether I was able to play in the concert with another ensemble that I used to play in (I said yes, and she said she’d get the music to me). I left it at this, with the intention to practice my pieces a lot over the next few days.

Today, both me and my mum received an email from S. She was quite angry about the fact that I wasn’t able to attend two out of the three Year 12 piece rehearsals, calling it bad etiquette and saying that it “reflects poorly in the professional world”. (I agree that it wasn’t great for me to have to pull out of those rehearsals when I had previously said that I should be available, but as I said above, I wasn’t really in a position where I could change this). She also said that I was supposed to be at school strings rehearsals yesterday, and at rehearsals for the ensemble I’m no longer in and was only just asked to play in. In this ensemble’s rehearsal, they also ran through the finale piece that I am playing a solo in (which I wasn’t aware they would be doing). S claimed that I had been told that I was supposed to be at these rehearsals this week — I have absolutely zero recollection of this, to the point where I doubt I was asked, but if I was, it was before or during my exams, in which case it doesn’t surprise me that I forgot, as I was highly stressed and just trying to focus on getting through school. I was never given another reminder to be there, so I had no idea I was supposed to be at the rehearsals yesterday. Because of how annoyed she was, I was forced to speak to someone about leaving my shift on the concert day early so that I can attend the rehearsal beforehand, but I’m still not able to attend the Year 12 piece rehearsal in two days time.

I feel really bad about the whole thing, because I genuinely am quite close with S and I know she’s put in a lot of effort to this concert. However, I feel like she’s being unfair in her annoyance. I was unaware I had to be at any rehearsals yesterday because this wasn’t clearly communicated to me (and even if to others it was implied that I should be there, I’m not the kind of person that will pick up on this — I need to be explicitly told). If I had known I was expected to be there, I absolutely would have been there. And obviously not being able to go to the rehearsals because I’m working is frustrating, but I really don’t feel like I had much choice in the matter. If I had been working there for a while, I absolutely would have asked for the days off, but I feel like it’s unfair to expect me to try and cancel those shifts when I’ve only just started the job. I’m glad I’ve managed to arrange to be at the concert day rehearsal, so that I can practice the solo with the rest of the ensemble, but even if I hadn’t been able to, I’ve been practicing the piece and I’ve done performances where I haven’t had a proper rehearsal before, so I think it would have been fine.

Hopefully this made sense, I tried to provide as much detail as possible but I’m very tired and am struggling to be coherent, and it’s also hard to explain the situation through text. So, tl;dr, AITA for:

Not being at rehearsals yesterday that I was unaware I was supposed to be at?

Having to cancel rehearsals because I was rostered during those times?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[hirsheyskisses]

It Takes Two. #01

Trouble at Sea

RORONOA ZORO x READER

Prev. | Next.

“What do you mean, broken?” Usopp came up last, having been on the opposite side of the ship. You stared at Nami, wide-eyed. So that confirms the nagging feeling I’ve had, you realized. I can’t sense any islands! Not even a rock above the sea.

“I mean, its not locking onto any island! That should be impossible.”

Instantly, you could feel Zoro’s eyes on you. Usopp’s gaze followed his, and you puffed your feathers indignantly. “Don’t look at me like that. In case you haven’t realized, I've been in sight of at least one of you my entire time on this ship.” Usopp seemed satisfied by that answer, though Zoro never stopped glaring. Sanji scoffed and half shoved Zoro, “stop staring at the lady like that! Her defense is flawless.”

“Damn cook! She’s the only suspect that could’ve broken it.”

“How do we know you didn’t break it, huh?! Lumbering about, I bet you broke it.”

“The hell did’ya say?!”

“You heard me!”

“Enough, both of you!” Nami shouted, her fist connecting with both of their heads and sending them on their ass.

Yikes. That must’ve hurt-

Luffy tilted his head and asked, “is there any way to reset it?” “I.. I don’t know. We’d need to reach an island for it to re-set. But, it set on the last island..”

Nami was staring at it, and you closed your eyes.

“I can try and help,” you finally said, moving closer to Nami. “If you remember earlier, I said I can usually - essentially, lock on to islands. The chances of me sensing them before the Logue Pose is high. I just won’t be able to tell specifics of where we’re going.”

Nami stared at you, “you’d do that?” “I will.”

“Oh, thank you!” She threw her arms around you, and you awkwardly stood before allowing your wings to wrap around her, tail twitching nervously. “I’ll do my best- do you mind if I take the lookout? The higher I am, the better.”

“Awesome!” Luffy added, throwing his arms in the air. Chopper still looked nervous, and Usopp was the same. “Are you sure you can do it? I think I’m catching we need a new logue pose disease-” You snorted, shaking your head in amusement, “my blood will prove far more reliable than a piece of technology. It could just be an old logue pose.” You unwrapped your wings from Nami as she pulled away, though still stressed- you couldn’t blame her there. You were nervous too, but you couldn’t vocalize it quite yet. It wasn’t worth worrying the crew when you may just be having a range problem.

“You should get some rest,” Nami advised, “and take over in the morning.” Raising a hand, you shook your head. “I’ve slept for a week. I’ll be fine until tomorrow night.” Luffy snickered, with Chopper perking up, “don’t over-do it! You’re still injured.” “I’ll be sitting still. Thanks for your concern, Doc.”

. . .

Which led you to sitting up in the lookout. It was cramped, not that you minded. You’d been up for about two hours, watching as the sky slowly blushed a gentle pink as the sun began to greet your side of the world. We’ve been sailing for hours, and still.. There hasn’t been a bird in sight. Now that I think about it, I haven’t seen many fish, either.

Part of you was beginning to feel guilty. It wasn’t like you could help it- if there was no land, there was none. You were unaware of Viserons had a range limit of how far away they could sense land, but still.

“Anything new?”

“GA- damn it, make some noise!”

You yelped, having turned around with such speed you almost toppled over, hand covering your heart once more. The swordsman had climbed up to the lookout, making room for himself to sit across from you. “You seriously need some more situational awareness.” Zoro replied, unable to hide the grin that spread across his face. “I was focused!” “So you said last time. Doesn’t answer my question.”

“...No. There’s nothing new. I’m putting a bell on your happy ass.”

Zoro released what you thought was a mix of a sigh and amused snort, shaking his head. “Aren’t you supposed to be better than a Logue Pose?” “I am! In case you’ve noticed, neither of us are working. So in turn, I am neither worse nor better than it, now.”

“Yuh-huh.” The swordsman adjusted himself and you instinctively drew as far away from him as you could in the cramped look-out. He eyed you, and, maybe for his own amusement, jolted as though he was going to move closer. You shrank further, wings tucking closer as your feather tufts pinned to the side of your head.

“Personal bubble, dude!” “Stop being so jumpy. If I was gonna stab ya, it would’ve been earlier.”

That reminds you-

“Why do you carry three swords?”

“To fight with. Obviously.”

“Obviously, but why three? It doesn’t look like you have three hands.”

“I carry one in my mouth.” As if to prove a point, he drew the white one, and plopped it in his mouth. Your jaw gaped for a moment, closing and opening your mouth to picture carrying the weight of a sword during a fight. “......Why though?! You’ve gotta have some crazy jaw strength.”

His lips tugged into a smirk, as he removed it from his mouth, “three swords style. I could teach ya.”

You shook your head, tail curling in amusement. “Pass, I'd rather not break my fangs or my jaw.”

“Your loss.”

“I’d rather learn the one-hand sword style. Not that it’d work well with how I fight.”

Zoro raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms. “How do you fight?”

“With bow and specialized arrows. Viserons, and the locals from Aero-Mountain, fight in the air. We can’t carry too much weight into battle.

“My personal favorite arrows are the explosives and poison gas.” “That’s dirty.” You snickered, “i couldn’t care less. In a real fight, its my life or theirs. There’s also water arrows, though those don’t get used often.. They were developed to battle devil-fruit users. But seeing as no sailors have reached our island for so long.. Well, Ice comes in handy more than water does.”

Zoro nodded, and the two of you fell into a comfortable silence. You watched as his eyes closed, his breathing becoming increasingly steadier until you were certain he’d fallen asleep. How care free, you thought, allowing your eyes to close as well. Not to sleep, but rather to ensure focus. You’d been up here for hours, yet not a single island had come to your senses. What could possibly be going wrong?! Surely either me or the Pose would’ve long since locked onto something! Its starting to seriously stress me out. Especially since we’ve been moving..

Wait.

“Wait-”

You jolted up, causing Zoro to jolt awake as well, “whaddya doin?!” but you didn’t stop to answer, instead throwing yourself off the lookout, your wings snapping open to catch you, powerful movements keeping you steady.

“Hey, Chopper said you shouldn’t be flying- get down!”

“There’s no wind. We haven’t moved for hours!”

You weren’t fighting the wind, the mast and sails weren’t moving, not even the water had waves! Zoro stared at you for a minute before it clicked in his head, and you allowed yourself to drop to the ground.

“Nami!”

You shouted, running towards the resting rooms, and knocked frantically on the door. “Huh? What’s upp..” Her voice was groggy from sleep, and part of you felt bad for waking her, you blurted, “we haven’t been moving for hours! There’s no wind! I don’t think there’s any current, either!”

“WHAT?!”

Her screech was likely to wake all the others, and she threw open her door, looking like a hot mess. “I didn’t even stop to think about it until I realized how long we’ve been on the water.”

“That doesn’t explain why you threw yourself out of the lookout.” Zoro grumbled, and you rolled your eyes, “So i could see for myself if there was any wind."

"Couldn't ya have just.. yaknow." He stuck a finger in the air and you scoffed, "that ways no fun."

"But it's practical."

"Oh put a sock in it, mosshead."

"The hell ya say, feathers?!"

"Knock it off, both of you! This is serious!" Nami interjected, rushing out to look at the sails, and then at the water. Sensing what she wanted to do, you jumped over the railing, flying close enough to the water and stuck your hand in. There was no current.

"Not a thing," you reported, coming to land on the railing.

"How could I have not noticed.." "You were asleep, that's how. If anything, blame me and zoro. We were the ones awake."

"Leave me outta this!"

"Fair point, you did fall asleep."

Zoro clenched his teeth, leaving you snickering, but the amusement didn't last long. Nami had run back into the map room, and you followed suit.

"It doesn't make any sense.. we shouldn't be anywhere near the calm belt!"

"Thats right. Plus, if this was the calm belt.. we'd have been eaten by monsters. A while ago."

You shrugged your shoulders, and could feel Nami relax just a bit. Zoro hadn't followed you guys: you assumed he figured the two of you had it. "...what other reasons could there be for the lack of life?" You questioned, Leaning over the table to stare closer at her maps. Looking at it now, her maps were elaborate: not a single space left unmarked. Nami pinched the bridge of her nose, and you sighed.

"Somethings just not right. Should be sensing- anything. But there's nothing."

"I just don't know.."

"So let me fly out there."

You let your wings spread, "let me get some distance. If I fly atleast half a days travel from the ship, I'm bound to find something."

Nami looked up and, shook her head. "I can't let you do that.. Chopper said you shouldn't be flying. You shouldn't mess up your back an-" "I'll be fine. I'm a Viseron. We were made for this." You cut her off, "and I could even bring Chopper or someone else with me. Assuming you have a board or something that'll float, attach a rope to me and I can essentially be a snow dog, except in the skies."

"That sounds cool!"

You recognized Luffy's voice, and you both turned your heads to see the crew standing at the door.

"I filled them in on what was going on," Zoro explained, Chopper on his shoulder, "you can't do that! You'll strain your wings and back too much!"

Crossing your arms you stared at Chopper, eyes narrowing. "You're cute and all, but you can't judge what my body can take. I feel my body much better than you can. That being said, I am grateful for your concern." Chopper opened his mouth and this time,Zoro covered it. "She's made up her mind. However.."

"That person you said you'll bring? It's me."

Which leads you here. A rope tightened around your waist, attached to a small row boat- well, actually, it could hardly be called a boat.. more like a glorified, giant wooden bowl, with Zoro sat in it. He kept trying to row, which threw off your flying, but he was just trying to help.

You didn't really care who went, but with all of them arguing, and Nami growing increasingly more annoyed, you stated Zoro would be the one to come. He was quiet, anyways.

Chopper would've been lighter, but he was a worrier: Sanji was creepy with his.. weird fascination with women, Luffy would be a hassle, and too much of a risk with a devil fruit, and it seemed Nami and Usopp were too scared.

So you'd flown in silence for a few hours. The Sunny had long since grown out of view. Your back was beginning to feel strained, but you weren't ready to stop.

"Hey, Feathers."

Zoro spoke up, and making sure there was no slack to the rope, you flew closer, just above his head. "Yeah?"

"What's it like? Flying."

You thought a moment, before shrugging. "It's natural.. fun, but .. natural." "Huh. Why arent your wings further up?"

Ouch. So the stereotype wings are a thing.

You chuckled. "I've heard most people think the wings should grow from our shoulders." Your wings actually rested in your mid back. You had custom made shirts that doubled as thin body armor. "Men usually have them a bit higher, since they tend to be more top heavy. Besides defects, wings are always below the shoulders."

He seemed confused, but didn't question it further. "..didn't answer what it's like."

"Oh- .. think of it like, swimming, but in the air, and less holding you back. Until you get really high up, there isn't any wild pressure. It's.. Freeing." You responded. There wasn't really any answer to how it felt, and Zoro seemed satisfied.

"My turn to ask. Why did you come? Is it because you don't trust me to come back?"

That caught the swordsman off guard. He placed his hand on the hilt of the white sword, staring up at you.

"Something like that. You could've very easily been faking injury. ..speaking of, get on the boat. You've been flying for hours, take a damn break." He gestured to the boat, which would put you in another cramped area with the man. "Pass. I'm sure you've guessed by the amount of times I've said this, but I'm a Viseron. Built for flight."

He raised an eyebrow, and reached for the rope. "Don't you d-" and he tugged it, pulling you down until you were forced to land.

Tail twitching back and fourth out of annoyance, you crossed your arms. "So you accuse me of faking an injury, and then insist on resting because of said injury? Logic 101."

Zoro laughed, shaking his head. "Not trusting you doesn't mean you need to suffer because of it."

"How chivalrous." Your feather tufts pricked. A soft groan was coming from the ocean. "..hey? Swordsman. You hear that?"

"It's Zoro. And.. yeah, now that you mention it, I do." He stood up, and your wings slowly spread, ready to take flight. "It's coming from above the water but.. I don't see anything."

You whispered, eyes darting back and fourth. Zoro nodded in agreement, drawing two of his swords. You felt vulnerable not having a real weapon, besides the sharpness of your wings.

Another minute of you both completely frozen, and then..

A ship. Coming out of the middle of nowhere, as if a hole had ripped open in the sky to let it through.

"What a big ship!"

"...shit. The Marines!"

#roronoa zoro x reader #zoro x reader #roronoa zoro #one piece x reader #one piece #straw hats x reader #straw hats

[so-many-sainz]

i saw u wanna continue the storyline 😏😏 pierre being petty and subtweeting and then lando defending his girl as he should!! i LOVED ur latest update so much it hurts

Unbothered — lando norris

social media au

lando norris x yn

this is the continuation of STAY MAD (alternative of WE BROKE UP BTW and WE BACK)

❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰❀❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰❀

A MONTH LATER...

landonorris added to their story

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Liked by savnorris1 and 84.282 others

yninstagram to mr and mrs norris ❤️🥂🥂

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maxfrewtrell photocreds missy 🤨

ynsbff OH STUNNING

landonorris bunny 🤤🤤❤️

revolve omg hi queen

l4ndoslove monkey x bunny 😩😩 my turn when 😩😩

TWO WEEKS LATER... race week.

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Liked by yninstagram and 523.374 others

landonorris Yes babyyyyyy! P3 🧡🍾 Tough race but we pulled through, lets keep pushing!

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yninstagram that's hot 😎🧡

landonorris on my way for our double celebration

carlossainz55 🍾🍾❤️

landolandi4 amazing race babyyyy!!!

ynsbrother LFGOOOOOO 🤙🏻🤙🏻🤙🏻

skysports will we get decent answers now that you're celebrating?

landonorris stop asking stupid questions if you don't want stupid answers

↪ teamclaren43 the amount of personal questions you got today is embarrassing

yninstagram added to their story

.

Liked by ynsbrother and 1.539.929 others

landonorris my beautiful girlfriend graduated this week. YN, I'm so excited to share with you this new chapter, stressing study nights in random hotel rooms are over bunny, you did it! You make me so proud, love you lots.

Sincerely,

Your monkey.

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olivernorris1 get drunk sis @yninstagram

danielricciardo how much for a therapy session, dr @yninstagram? congratulations loveeeee

isahernaez 😍😍😍😍

f1daddies the high school sweethearts vibes these two have is overwhelming 🤧🥺💖

mcloony she's got the looks, the brains and a fine asf man.......

letsgol4ndo she's so lucky

↪ landonorris i'm the lucky one

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yninstagram yessssss graduation time!!!

I'm done with sleeplessness nights, all I got left is to thanks my incredible friends who were there for me every single time I needed a helpful hand, my family that supported me unconditionally and my amazing monkey who laughed with me during the crazy days and believed in me even when I didn't. Love you all.

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yninstagram I'M FREE WORST FUCKING EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE LET'S GET DRUNK

ynsbff yikes

paulgasly congratulations yn! we love you

charles_leclerc so proud of you my friendddd, lmk when I can schedule an appointment ❤️

ynsbrother fucking finally!!!!! 🤪❤️

team10gasly no way

yukierrex he's back

↪️ team10gasly after what happened last weekend.....

↪️lovescarlando that's what happen when you live in the past friendssss

↪️yukierrex bitch it was a couple of months ago stfu

END OF THE SEASON

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Liked by charles_leclerc and 78.294

yninstagram desert dump 🤓🐪 ft. a very nice mclaren car

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landowners hello God it's me

carlossainz55 very nice earrings 🤓

yninstagram yes! Isa is so good in graduation presents 😋😋😋

↪ carlossainz55 🙄

savnorris1 💖

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lando.jpg end of the season by me 📸

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yninstagram love you baby 💖

mclaren 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩

maxfrewtrell excuse me?????

landonorris ok some of those were taken by max

#lando norris instagram edit #lando norris x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 imagine #lando norris x you #lando norris blurb

[gaytventhusiast]

(!Warning!- Slight hints at domestic abuse. Nothing that isn't in canon)

(Do not read if you do not want to see a critical analysis of Jmart. Some people don't want to see their comfort ship criticised and I respect that.)

Me on my first listen of magnus (aged 15): Omg omg there are gay people this is amazing. Wahoo Jmart!

Me on my second listen of magnus: Wow Martin is lowkey a bit of a secret gaslight gatekeep girloss. ICONIC. He and Jon are murder bfs :D

Me on my third listen of magnus: Hah. Martin really is kind of a bitch sometimes.

Me on my forth listen of magnus: God Martin can be so condescending wtf. I dont really ship Jmart anymore. And did he just hit Jon wtf ?!?!

Me after my 5th listen to now (Aged 18): Yikes. Martin has so many red flags oh god.

(Disclaimer: I do think these characters and their relationship are still well written and I do not dislike anyone for shipping them. However, I do think the fanon interpretation of their relationship removes how flawed Martin actually is and people don't hold him accountable nearly enough)

(Additionally this is all not to say that Jon is exempt from poor behaviour toward Martin. The way he treats Martin in s1 was dickish to say the least. However, unlike Martin this behaviour isn't perpetuated throughout the entirety of the podcast/ relationship, with Jon quickly coming to respect Martin at a similar level to himself.)

Martin Blackwood is not a kind person.

He never holds himself accountable for anything or so few times I literally don't remember them. In MAG 194- Parting, it is Jon that makes the decision to apologise to Martin. Additionally after Martin hits Jon earlier on he is never seen apologising for it, even after Jon's honestly heartbreaking line of "Thank you for not hitting me this time".

Martin also tends to get pissy at Jon for something he cannot help. Jon cannot help 'giving statements' in season 5 and yet everytime he does, Martin acts like it's some sort of attack on him. He is perfectly allowed to have the boundary of 'Don't do that around me'. However in instances where Jon accidentally does it around Martin, Martin responds with aggression, either lashing out and shouting at Jon or as previously mentioned, hitting him. These can be explained as maybe reasonable responses to high stress situations however Martin never apologises for them as discussed previously.

This also comes in the form of Martin antagonising Jon's well meaning suggestions. In S4, during the 'Gauge your eyes out' scene, Martin immediately shoots back, making it about him rather than the desperate attempts at salvation from a man who's been broken down to all hell.

There's a clear bitterness from Martin throughout. He clearly feels inferior to Jon and is trying to gain as much control over the situation as he can which often means doing all he can to control Jon.

And Martin is right at the end of S5 when he says it took 4 years of the shit they've been through to be compatible. However, what I think is more accurate is that it took 4 years of Jon being broken down and into a state of perpetual emotional vulnerability and loss of autonomy for him to be so alone that he reached out to Martin. And vice versa, Martin (being affected by the lonely and always having had an attraction to Jon) reaches out in return later in s5. Aside from that, they've not got much in common and although I do think that they at least get along as friends and colleagues, I can't really see them consistently bonding outside of the world of the fears.

Now I'd like to clarify that this isn't all to say that the way Martin acts isn't understandable, it is. Having to care for his mother for years has lead to him mothering Jon at times as well as his constant need to prioritise himself and defend himself in response to her abuse. He probably also has some left over resentment (understandably) from the way Jon used to treat him in s1. Along with a bunch of other stuff that explains his behaviour. But that doesn't mean that the way he acts sometimes isn't harmful.

Their relationship is more nuanced than I'm able to fit into a tumblr post. I might write an essay about it at some point. If there is anything i didn't mention it's either because it's been a while and I forgot, or I did not have space to fit it!

Anyways, what do you guys think about all this? TMA is one of those shows I've been a bit apprehensive to critically analyse due to the fandom but I found that Jmart is a lot more interesting than I initially thought.

(SUMMARY: Jmart is not as healthy of a relationship as the Fanon tends to show it. Martin has a lot of red flags and the two aren't all that compatible aside from their trauma)

#jmart #jonmartin #the magnus archives #magpod #magnus archives #tma podcast #critical analysis #gaytventhusing #any aggression towards me due to this post will not be tolerated

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Junior Year Ep 8

Enter the Vultureverse

Welcome back to the Report Card where we are having a mini recap because my schedule has been off the wall bonkers! Luckily, this week we can split the episode pretty neatly into two sections: research and fighting. We’ll go more in depth on the research than the fighting because those are the bits that will be more long term plot relevant though I’m sure the fighting will be long term relevant to Gorgug and the therapist I hope he has because yikes gang!

First things first, we resolve stress tokens which the party has to use to nerf themselves and take disadvantage on the skills they choose. They are as follows: 

Fig: Insight and Religion. 

Gorgug: Initiative, Insight, Deception, and Charisma Saves. 

Adaine: Initiative, Intimidation and Persuasion. 

Fabian: Tool Proficiencies, History, Investigation, and Perception. 

Kristen: Initiative, Wisdom Saves, and Medicine

Riz: Perception, Survival, Athletics, and Deception.

When we left, Lydia had dropped off all the info from her old party mates and the Bad Kids were surprised to see that it was all written not in Infernal but in Giant. The whole gang (except Gorgug who’s still at home) circles up in Adaine’s tower to help and she casts Comprehend Languages so she can read the texts. Fig tosses Adaine a bardic to juice her History roll which prompts Brennan to have Siobhan roll on a d100. On a 91, Adaine’s stomach gurgles and a cloud of dust mites fly into her eyes, causing her to knock her head and pass out. 

Kristen rushes to her aid (with a medicine check rather than spells since she’s currently out) to stabilize her. Brennan asks if she rolled less than an 8 and even though she didn’t, her stomach also gurgles and she sees a vision of the food court: a flash of red, a familiar scream (not Cass), and then silence. In Adaine’s eyes, she sees splattered blood reflected. Ominous!

Everyone is freaked and they’re getting major shrimp vibes. Fig declares herself cursed and submits to arcana checks from everyone. With his angel-spy necktie, Riz casts Detect Good and Evil and finds a fiendish aura around her that’s different than her natural one. She is for sure cursed.

While this is going on, Gorgug is at home, watching Frostyfaire stuff get set up. His parents allude to some ~mysterious machines~ under tarps and promise not to embarrass him. That’s not oddly specific at all and it certainly won’t come back to bite him in this very same episode. He gets the text from the group that Adaine passed out and goes to meet up with them but, as he leaves, he sees electricity running through one of his parents many gadgets and has a moment of inspiration about how the pulse of the electricity and the pulse of his blood and heart when he’s raging might have some kind of synchronicity. He makes a note and saves it for later. 

OK! Now let’s round up all the new info the party learns from the notes Lydia provided:

There’s a record of Ruvina (Lucy’s god) giving Cass a wedding gift: a Bridle of Frost that would allow her to command a team of fiery horses. The fact that Cass was married is new info and Riz speculates whether she was being married to a giant/giant god.

Apparently, Cass, Galicaea (her sister), and Sol (her brother) were traveling together in the Mountains of Chaos.

(As an aside, we learn that Cass is more aligned with fae and Galicaea is with the elves–we knew that second part already. We also learn that Helio’s mom was a mortal woman.)

We learn of a law of magic called Obliviati Mori by Clerics and the Law of Theothanatic Silence by wizards. It basically means that even though gods can remember dead gods, they’re not allowed to revive them via worship by speaking their name and reminding mortals of them. Adaine gets the sense that if this is a law then it can be broken somehow and Brennan says yes, but there are likely hefty arcane penalties. 

Fabian wonders if Cass’s, “I thought you were dead” was referring to this dead god who is maybe her ex. Riz wonders if Lucy was possessed by a god and that’s how she was able to write down the name of the dead god–something that should have been impossible since no mortals know their name and no gods are allowed to speak or write it. 

Fig thinks the Ratgrinders are being mighty suspicious in their seeming lack of mourning for Lucy and especially in Ivy’s not shocked reaction to seeing her disguised as Lucy. 

(These next pieces of info we don’t get until after a short interlude but I’m gonna put it here to keep it neat.)

Riz thinks that it’s suspicious that Tracker’s church would suddenly be blowing up right when this dead god is coming back and wonders if there might be some shenanigans going on where their worship is somehow being siphoned off to power this other god (something gods are specifically not supposed to do). 

In one of the books, Kristen sees an illuminated page (illuminated as in illustrated–think Book of Kells) that is unfinished. It has an empty arch wreathed in flames and a design of red 24 point stars with sharp rays that are very similar looking to the shatter stars they encountered in the mall fight.

Fig wonders if a union of Doubt and Rage (Cass and this unknown god) was maybe too powerful so their marriage was sabotaged by another god.

After all the research, it’s almost time to go to Frostyfaire, but before they do, Kristen takes a leap of faith and (1) texts Tracker to see if they can meet up since her god is relevant to the investigation and (2) texts her parents to ask if they want to get coffee. Tracker says she’s busy the next few days but she’s free starting on Monday. Kristen's parents don’t text her back but her brother Bucky does and lets her know that her parents are debating it but it feels like they’re gonna say yes. Sibling loyalty! 

Adaine does a Detect Magic on the token Kristen’s teacher gave her and determines that it’s basically a deity-less Holy Symbol so she’s got something to tide her over while she works on getting Cass back. 

Fig, who you’ll recall is dabbling in paladin classes, decides to pray for the first time and attunes to a moment of doubt that’s sacred to her: when her horns first started growing in and it changed her whole life, ultimately for the better. The shards from Cass in Kristen’s pocket glows indigo and she decides to pray with Fig as well, gaining a 6th level spell slot back in the process. 

On to the fair!

When they arrive, Gorgug’s parents welcome them–incluing Fig’s alter-emo Wanda since she’s in disguise to mess with Ruben/hopefully get some info. Riz and Kristen are thinking that all the crunchy, granola kids here from Aguefort are a substantial voting block but, before they can do anything about that, an old druid shows up and offers them a toke of his pipe. 

Fool the Bad Kids once, shame on you, but they’re NOT getting trapped in a net like Max. They all immediately roll to check if something’s up and Adaine crits, clocking the druid as an illusion. Riz casually says, “No thanks Oisin,” as Adaine casts Dispel Magic, revealing not the Ratgrinder’s wizard but their bard, Ruben who sneers at them and then gets into an argument with Gorgug about whether he (Ruben) shits or not. Very normal teenager conversations. Fig has dipped at this point because she wants to debut as Wanda to Ruben at a strategic moment but she secretly hits him with a Hex to his Int to help guard against any rolls he might make to clock her disguise later. She also notices how mad Gorgug is getting at Ruben’s nonsense and texts Porter a list of things that piss Gorgug off, trying to help him out. 

Ruben’s band, My Clerical Gnomance (of course), of which Fabian is a big fan (sure) head to the stage and start playing their set but then, all of a sudden, thunder rumbles and a surge of electricity makes the stage lights go weird. In a flash, Grix appears, hovering above the crowd! He assesses the crowd and finds it full of rulebreakers and felonies so he decides to do his part in restoring “Perfect Order” by CASTING DISINTEGRATE ON RUBEN. Why is he even here? This is so outside of his jurisdiction! He says the school experience is best optimized by being omnipresent but COME ON man! This can’t be legal, even in Spyre!

Anyway, initiative! 

Like I said, we’re really gonna breeze through this fight because it’s mostly non-plot relevant but there are a few things I want to highlight:

Adaine right away burns a portent roll to save Ruben from the Disintegrate. I wonder if, in Ruben’s mind, that’s worth being a little softer towards the Bad Kids in the future. 

Grix uses a spell or ability to awaken all the nearby machines to fight by his side but…uh…the Thistlesprings were busy during the four months of night and they decided to retrofit some of their random appliances into very elaborate sex toys. Both Zac and Gorgug are mortified. 

Ruben curiously doesn’t just ditch when the going gets rough like you might expect someone who only grinds rats to do. He stays and does what you’d hope a bard would do: plays with this band to distribute bardics to everyone. Of course some of that is probably to impress “Wanda” who he spots in the crowd but you have to wonder how much his personal adventuring philosophy aligns with his party’s. Maybe not everything he’s done is logged on the official record. Also, he seems horrified by the situation so either (1) the RG’s aren’t somehow collaborating with Grix, (2) they are but only certain RG’s are in on it, or (3) he’s a great actor which he could be as a bard but I think that’s least likely. 

We learn that Gorgug in addition to his homunculus, Cloaca, now has a steel defender: a gecko named Clobica (a Battle Smith class feature). It’s kinda like a familiar that can attack.

The fight gets hairy fast with multiple Bad Kids getting stunned and Adaine going down. Kristen uses her one spell slot to cast Mass Cure Wounds but that still leaves Adaine, a squishy wizard, surrounded by enemies and a bunch of party members stunned and failing to snap out of it. 

Grix mentions that he was warned to expect tomfoolery in general but especially from the Bad Kids which of course begs the question, “By who?”

Grix is successfully able to cast Dominate Monster on Riz by appealing to his sense of order and visions of Lord Salazar Edge's College of Lone Adventurers dance in his head. He turns his attention to Adaine next (which makes me wonder if he was just consulting a dossier on the Bad Kids in that moment because Riz and Adaine are for sure the ones you’d target with this pitch). 

Now, this episode might be known as the one where they had to fight a sex toy lawnmower except for what happens next. Because, much like in the first fight this season, there is a vulture on this battle set. And our intrepid heroes noticed it immediately. So, back against the wall, party in dire straits, and out of spell slots, Kristen decides to interact with the vulture as the rest of the table give thumbs up, supporting the bit. 

She prays to Cass, asking for help in connecting with the vulture and then gives a now very familiar, “Heyyyyyy girlie.”

“WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?” the vulture says to the surprise of the full table. Feathers whip around the dome and a graphic appears: YOU ARE ENTERING THE VULTURE DIMENSION. A new set is brought out. Everyone is losing their minds. I didn’t take a hit from Ruben's pipe but I feel high. And that’s where we end our episode!

No extras this week because I’m crunched for time but, don’t worry, I’ll roll that all into next recap since the fight continues in the next ep. Can’t wait to figure out what the hell the vulture dimension is tonight! 

#Dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #d20 #d20 spoilers #fantasy high #fantasy high spoilers #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #spoilers #the report card

[zeglythofficial]

FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY

* Read at your own risk *

* LONG POST WARNING *

Reading took place before PCA!!!

What did R think when she learned that T is in a relationship?

Pulled: Four of Pentacles

Tarot 2.0: Very possessive and jealous. Did she forget she had her man on set? Worrying about who T is fucking is crazy behavior. That’s his gf! R has zero boundaries.

Does Ashley L had/has a crush on T?

Tarot 2.0: Who the hell is Ashley?

Me: Clemmie from the movie!

Tarot 2.0: WHO?

Me: she got bit by the snake!

Tarot 2.0: oh her! Who cares? She’s so irrelevant. J is barely relevant and he’s in a relationship with R.

Me: You read her recently but probably don’t remember.

Tarot 2.0: waste of space in my mind. Let’s see what Ashley is feeling then

Pulled: Two of Swords

Clarification: Ace of Cups

Tarot 2.0: Seriously, who the hell is this? Come on now. She’s delusional. She stressed out over him for what? What is she stressed over? Making a decision is what I’m getting from this. Girl, there is no decision or choice for you, he doesn’t want you! She’s unwilling to see that though. T hasn’t spoken to her at all and she’s upset? Why? This has been going on for 2 years? She needs to move on and let this crush go. It’s embarrassing how much of a hold he has on her. Wait a minute before I tear into her, let me see if T led her on or something. I’m hoping so because if not, Ashley L is an idiot and lacks awareness.

How does T feel about Ashley L?

Pulled: Page of Wands (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: Yeah, she’s delusional. Now, T is a natural flirt and friendly person. Some people, like her, don’t realize he’s that way with everyone. She’s not special and she refuses to see that. I’m picking up a negative attitude from T here. She wasn’t shy about her crush which was off putting to him. He’s bored of it actually. Another girl who takes his friendliest the wrong way. I’m getting the sense that he likes flirting with women who don’t take it seriously because he truly isn’t being serious at all. So he appreciates people who laugh off his natural charm. And yikes, I’m sensing she tried to flirt heavily with him in the beginning when they first met and he didn’t like that. She came across very strong in a bad way. Not everyone can pull that off successfully. T is funny because R pulled it off successfully and that’s how their obsession with each other started.

Me: You lost me. Pulled what off successfully?

Tarot 2.0: Flirting the right way from the beginning. Didn’t you tell me R asked T if he was trying to grab her ass in their first scene and he laughed?

Me: oh yeah! I’m surprised you remembered.

Tarot 2.0: It’s an interesting fact about their relationship that intrigues me. R set the tone right away and T loved her playfulness. Ashley L tried something similarly and failed miserably. R and T have an easy banter and Ashley tries to mimic it. She can’t mimic natural chemistry. I have secondhand embarrassment that she tried to be R 2.0!

Me: 2.0 like you!

Tarot 2.0: FUCK YOU!

me: fun fact, you’re actually 3.0 because—

Tarot 2.0: careful! I haven’t made my birthday wish yet and I would hate for something bad to happen to you.

Me: 😕

Tarot 2.0: 😇

How are T and R currently?

Pulled: The High Priestess

Tarot 2.0: What a surprise! NOT! They’re polar opposite who can’t stop thinking of each other. They’re soulmates who are going through a rough path right now. Another karmic card too. However this is a slow progress card to me. “Right person, wrong time”? They’re hearts are with each other but they’re separated. Now they have to be careful here. Karma is not something to take lightly. They’re meant to be separate (learn how to be separated which they haven’t been separated since they met each other) but they need to reconcile or at least talk to heal the connection. Or another karmic cycle will continue. Patience is needed especially from R. She’s very impatient with him and he’s shutting down emotionally because of it.

How are R and J currently?

Pulled: Three of Wands (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: Distance is destroying their already fragile relationship. There’s no effort from J and R is tired of putting in the work. Of course she’s tired, she uses all her energy on T to make their friendship work. She thought Valentine’s Day was going to be special but it wasn’t. She wanted that day to rejuvenate her feelings for J but nope, it was just another day. She still loves him though.

How are T and BB currently?

Pulled: Two of Swords

Tarot 2.0: What a boring couple. Snooze button, let’s go back to sleep everyone. They have a lot of youthful energy and similar vibes so I can see why they have fun together but there’s nothing deep here. T is on the fence between their relationship because of R but doesn’t see a reason to let BB go. BB is more stable to him. Emotionally and mentally. She’s also more mature so that’s a huge benefit to him.

How does R feel about J?

Pulled: The Hermit

Tarot 2.0: She’s lonely. J is doing his own thing and she’s doing her own thing, but they’re not doing anything together. Completely separate lives right now. I don’t understand since they’re like an hour or two away from each other, right? In that case, he’s not making an effort to invite her to visit him and she isn’t going to visit because she feels unwanted.

How does R feel about T?

Pulled: The High Priestess (reversed)

Clarification: Wheel of Fortune (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: Hmmm. I got the High Priestess again. R feels desired by T but doesn’t know his motives or what he wants from her at the moment. She’s so stupid. He wants a break from you and you’re not letting him get the space he needs. She thinks space is a bad thing but not necessarily. I mean realistically it’s only been 3 months since they spoke in person? That’s not a long time if you think about it and she’s acting crazy over it. Wheel of fortune reversed is karmic. She needs to relax a little and go with the flow. T is equally obsessed with her but he’s more withdrawn. She needs to be open to change and embrace that they’re relationship isn’t going to be an everyday thing like 2 years ago. I think she’s scared because she’s comparing T to J. T is very different though and does care about her (unlike J) but needs time to process how he feels too.

How does J feel about R?

Pulled: Nine of Wands (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: He’s tired of her. It’s kind of funny. I never pull a love card with him. He doesn’t have anything left to give her. He’s comfortable and doesn’t want to change. He’s happy being away from her right now. Ouch.

How does T feel about R?

Pulled: Seven of Wands (reversed)

Clarification: The Moon (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: The usual then. He’s trying not to let R ruin his life.

Me: His life? He’s dramatic!

Tarot 2.0: Men tend to be. R’s dramatic too. But I’m sensing he’s finally accepting that R is just a part of his life now. He can’t fight it and shouldn’t. This is a good sign to me. He will talk to her like normal soon.

Me: YES! I think his tv show is finished filming.

Tarot 2.0: He lives in New York, right? R does too. He might visit and clear the air in person. I’m happy about this. I think they need to see each other in person actually. A simple phone call won’t resolve things. They need to hug and talk it out. Won’t be surprised if J tears his ACL running to be a good bf to R with T around soon. What a mess.

R has been thinking / reflecting on her relationship with J or if she’s not even doubting her feelings

Pulled: Page of Swords (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: She’s full of doubts. J is uncaring and they've been having a lot of disagreements recently. They’re either not talking as much or there’s a tense silence in their relationship. A lot of frustration and she doesn’t know how to fix it.

(NSFW) What will R and T first time be like?

Pulled: The Chariot

Clarification: Nine of Cups

Tarot 2.0: how PG should I keep it?

Me: the fact that your asking means something crazy is about to come out of your mouth.

Tarot 2.0: Come out of my mouth? You dirty gal!

Me: 😟 don’t start! I think they’re first time will be sweet because—

Tarot 2.0: She’s going to come multiple times in a row. The sex will be incredible. Eyes rolling in the back of the skull.

Me: WAIT—

Tarot 2.0: a lot of dirty talk and insane amounts of relief. They both have been itching to fuck raw and I love doggy style for them the first time—

Me: Let me think for a min—

Tarot 2.0: he will dick her down really good. Maybe they start out missionary and he flips her on her stomach to take her fast and hard. It’s just full of passion here. He will put her to sleep and shut her up. Thank god. I might have to stan him because nothing but a good dick can get her to shut up. She will sleep for a little while and wake up two hours later to kisses from him and they go for round 2…3…4? And then they laugh and talk.

Me: you’re a psycho. Where did you get all of that from?

Tarot 2.0: that’s normal stuff.

Me: you’re not normal.

Tarot 2.0: I take that as a complement, sweet pie! I love when men tell a woman she has a great kitty and throws her back out because of it. Goofy men like T usually have crazy / silly dicks too so I’m not surprised he’s wearing her out.

Me: …oh my god…

Tarot 2.0: That’s what R will say after he’s finished with her. I’m jealous. She will see god but nope, it will just be T!

(NSFW) What will their sex life be like?

Pulled: Page of Cups

Clarification: The Devil

Tarot 2.0: additive sex. Can’t keep their hands off each other. Isn’t that true even now? It will only get worse. He will blow her back out nearly every night. No wonder he’s scared of her. Men are often terrified of women with powerful kitty’s. It has the power to destroy lives. Good for R! She’s bringing that man to his knees over her cookie.

Why isn’t T coming to PCA?

Pulled: The Tower (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: Doesn’t see it as a major loss to not go.

Has BB visited the blog?

Pulled: Page of Wands (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: Yes but not recently. She’s very insecure over zeglyth and R especially in the beginning. I think now she’s feeling better about it since time has passed but she’s unsure about T’s feelings in all of this. She doesn’t want to bring R up and wants to ignore the truth as long as possible. She’s choosing to believe that nothing is going on and his crush on R will disappear. She’s not in denial that T is attracted to R at least and is glad they haven’t seen each other in a while. That’s a little silly to me because the true test will be when T comes back from Canada or whatever he is. Of course he’s not seeing R right now so BB is stupid for letting that be an important factor for her feelings. When he’s back in NY and near R is when BB should decide what to do about her bf wanting to dick down another woman.

When you ask who will propose first? You mean if T will ask R to marry him or if R will suggest it first?

Pulled: Six of Wands

Clarifications: The Star

Tarot 2.0: the Aquarius card! T will propose first.They will go through some rough patches but that’s to be expected with them. They still are spiritually connected and soulmates so he will propose when the time is right. She doesn’t need to bring it up but they will talk about it as all couples do.

We need more clarification on T's fixation on pregnant R. It's a kink of him?

Pulled: Death (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: damn, a lot sadder than I was expecting. He’s scared of a broken home situation. He wants to get married and have children with one person if possible. He wants the relationship to last and doesn’t want to go through a divorce and make his kids suffer. Sounds like a childhood fear of his.

Me: his parents got a divorced and his dad remarried

Tarot 2.0: and that was a nightmare for him and he hated that. He doesn’t want his children to go through that. Wants to break the cycle of childhood trauma. It makes sense that he runs away from R because he doesn’t want to think too deeply about marriage and kids. It brings him a lot of pain actually. So he’s a runner, he’s a track star!

Did T talk to R again?

Pulled: Seven of Wands

Clarification: The Chariot

Tarot 2.0: Yes but I’m getting the sense he’s just busy not actively avoiding her anymore. He may have spoken to her before Valentine’s Day just to see how she’s doing but other than that, communication is minimal. There’s a sense of clarity to him now. He’s finally accepting that he and R will have ups and downs and that she’s a permanent person in his life now. He’s willing to put in the work and time to stay in touch with her. T’s focused on his career and I think he wants to talk with her in person. He will fix it when he sees her again.

How many children will R and T have?

Pulled: Four of Wands

Clarification: Three of Cups

Tarot 2.0: Three! They definitely want to be married first though.

What will R and T’s relationship be like when(if) they get together?

Pulled: The Sun

Clarification: Five of Pentacles (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: If they have children, their first child will most likely be a boy. They’re relationship will be very playful and fun. They will have a lot of hardships especially in the beginning but they will push through it. In fact, I think since they’re going through a rough patch in their friendship, when it happens in their relationship, they will be prepared and have experience to handle it.

If T and R date, would it distract from their careers?

Pulled: The Magician

Clarification: King of Swords

Tarot 2.0: Yes but no. The main issue will be from R. She will not like that T works a lot and wants more time with them together. However, I have to laugh…

Me: why?

Tarot 2.0: she’s not used to a man working so for T to be gone all the time, it will be a bad sign to her until she realizes that her man is supposed to be working. T will be booked and busy and she will be like “my man always has a job! Wait, that’s a great thing!” Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids! T will be working hard though and should take a step back once he’s married and has a kid. His career will be stable so he is a provider!

What did BB think of R at the London premiere?

Pulled: The Devil (reversed)

Clarification: Ten of Pentacles

Tarot 2.0: not the Devil card! She was obsessively watching R and T all night. She’s just like you!

Me: like me? How?

Tarot 2.0: Obsessively watching every move Zeglyth makes and analyzing their behavior. BB thought that R fit in very nicely with T’s family and friends which made her insecure. She knew then that R was going to be a permanent person in T’s life. Yikes!

How did T’s family feel about R at the London premiere?

Pulled: The High Priestess

Clarification: Six of Cups

Tarot 2.0: They thought her and T were magnetic together. If I was BB, I would have burned down the whole premiere and killed everyone. No way in hell I’m allowing his family and friends to admire R in front of me. R made a great first impression even if they found her to be a little immature but they loved how she brought out T’s happiness and they reminded everyone of childhood sweethearts. BB should have choked R to the ground for this.

Me: stop being violent!

Tarot 2.0: The disrespect towards BB is hilarious. His family and friends love BB but R also has star power and they can see she makes T happy. One of his friends made a comment that they want to see R and T in another movie and BB nearly fainted. That would be her worst nightmare.

Clarify the look that T gives to R at the London premiere and BB's expression? From a previous reading you said, T looked at her. How?

Pulled: Knight of Wands (reversed)

Clarification: Eight of Cups

Tarot 2.0: Yikes! T just gave R a lustful stare. A “I want your kitty bad” look. T definitely didn’t know BB was right there when she saw him practically drooling after R. BB was very hurt but not surprised? Was T drunk at this premiere? He was more touchy feely than normal with R too.

What do you think of the video with all four of them? That one at the dinner party?

Tarot 2.0: That's BB? Why do I feel like I’ve seen this before? Can’t remember any of these people.

Me: What people? That’s literally BB, T, J and R! Everyone else is irrelevant.

Tarot 2.0: Anyways! The first thing that stands out to me is BB’s shirt. Everyone else is dressed cozy and then there’s her? She definitely wore a revealing shirt in person. This is the saddest dinner party I’ve ever seen. Does R drink?

Me: not really. At least I don’t think so.

Tarot 2.0: everyone else seems like drinkers. Why is J so fucking clueless? R is watching T and BB have fun then looks at J who was not even paying attention to his surroundings. R has such a sad expression on her face. It’s tough for her to be around T and BB. Especially since J is an idiot.

Pulled: Temperance (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: R is legit crazy I’m convinced. If we opened her skull, we would see nothing but dust and glue. There’s no way she expected T to pay attention to her while BB is there? Why is she always blaming T for this? That’s his gf! She should be blaming J for not giving her what she needs. R keeps forgetting that T isn’t her man and can’t act like he usually does with BB around. This is a huge problem within itself. T does act differently with R (he doesn’t flirt at all) when BB is around but why does R want him to do exactly? Flirt and say I love you to her in front of BB? That’s ridiculous.

T is crazy too because he enjoys rubbing his relationship in R’s face. T and BB have a way better relationship than R and J, true but T found it hilarious. What a petty man. Why do they care so much? Why does R pout when T’s attention is on gf? And why does T care if R is jealous or not? No wonder BB wore that sexy shirt, she had to fight for T’s attention and still barely got it. Unfortunately R could wear a trash bag and BB could be nude and T’s attention would still go to R. This is America right? They should buy guns and have a shootout like an Western because no way would I let my man embarrass like this.

Did J prepare R in any way or resort to voodoo practices?

Pulled: The Hanged Man (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: No! He didn't need to do anything to make her fall from him. My unbiased opinion is that a woman should never chase and love a man more than he loves her. I’ve never seen this dynamic work out in the long run. If a man wants you, trust me, he will work to get you, not the other way around. She made her crush obvious so all he had to do is ask her out and like an idiot, she immediately said yes. He didn’t chase her or have to do anything special which is why she’s losing now. He didn’t romance her so he hasn’t changed but she’s changing her mind. She wants the romance and the sparks now but it’s too late. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? J is the same as he’s always been. The only difference now is he’s no longer in love with her and sees being with her a chore and a stepping stone for his career.

Me: Ouch.

Tarot 2.0: The truth hurts!

Or R which is the real problem that needs to be addressed

Pulled: Queen of Wands (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: R is one of the issues. But she’s young and in love so can’t blame her too much in a situation like this.

R visits the blog?

Pulled: Three of Pentacles

Tarot 2.0: Yes. It seems like everyone loves to stalk you or is obsessed with you. I don’t understand.

Me: You stalked me when we first met.

Tarot 2.0: that was very different! Anyway, moving on! She’s blaming this blog on her relationship issues. She needs to seek relationship counseling. If an online blog is “destroying” your relationship or making you second guess yourself, there’s deeper issues going on there. And why does she care what’s being said on a blog? Judging your relationship based on Tumblr is high school behavior. She needs to get a life.

Or any of her friends?

Pulled: Six of Swords

Tarot 2.0: Yes but this is worrying to me. I can’t tell if it’s “fans” or real life friends here. I hope she doesn’t think her fans are her friends. That’s another issue she needs to address. She’s crossing boundaries and doesn’t know the difference anymore.

Does R have good female friends who give her good advice? And if so, does she listen to them??

Pulled: Wheel of Fortune

Tarot 2.0: Holy shit! I was afraid of pulling this card here damn. This says it all to me. On the card, the picture has an angel (Aquarius) and a bull (Taurus).

So her friends aren’t really relevant. She does have female friends but fate is at play here. They have no influence on her life whatsoever because she was meant to meet J and T in her life. In fact, J and T are directly tied to each other. She would not have met T without J. The wheel fortune. Another karmic connection. R is meant to be with J for a while until T came along. Now R has to be especially careful here. The wheel of fortune is constantly changing and evolving. She’s meant to move on from J. Maybe not now but eventually.

“I mean about running away from feelings and such. Feelings are scary. It makes you irrational. That's why I get why T would be terrified. But it's not always the reason why we run away from committing in a relationship. Sometimes, we know we're not ready to give someone the love and commitment that they deserve. Or we want to give them”

Pulled: The Sun

Clarification: Three of Cups (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: T is very attracted to R’s positivity and spirit. But she’s also distracting him. Part of the problem is T is used to having control over his life and his decisions. This is the first time he feels like things are out of control and he doesn’t know what to do. He thinks life is playing a cruel joke on him. He’s partly right due to the karmic cards I get from my reads. Karma is testing him and so far he’s making the right choices. This is meant to be a lesson to him: you can’t control everything! It’s impossible and life throws curveballs all the time. He’s used to dealing with changes in his career but not his love life.

And I hate what I’m about to say because it sounds awful. But T’s physical presence keeps R under control. However, R’s presence makes T feel more out of control. Two sides of the same coin. R loves having T around because she gets the emotional investment she needs and it calms her down. T is quick to shut down her BS too. J typically ignores R which doesn’t make the problem go away. T addresses the problem and is very stern with R when he feels like she’s obsessing over something. Rather it’s online hate or their kiss, he easily jumps in and handles things when she gets overwhelmed.

Me: I have a question! Who do you think is crazier?

Tarot 2.0: Between R and T? Definitely T.

Me: Really? I think it’s R!

Tarot 2.0: a few reasons I say T! One, we can’t see his craziness because he’s offline and that’s a good thing. R’s crazy is on full display which is the problem. T handles his emotions and obsesses over things privately. He’s a deep thinker and is very chill until he reaches a breaking point. Two, T is feeding into R’s crazy either through text or phone calls. R was acting wild in November, right? She was tweeting and likes things about him and using snowbaird as an excuse. You showed me the tweets. Some of the things she liked were about her coworker. I think she forgets that sometimes. T is a coworker first and everything else second.

T is one of her best friends, sure, but I’m a firm believer that in relationships like R and T’s— the quieter one is usually the one doing the craziest things behind closed doors. The things he does are a lot of hurtful too. T rubs her horrible relationship in her face all the time and laughs about it. Tells her to move on and be professional and throws a tantrum when she says the same things. He can barely say the word friend anytime he has to talk about her but can say he’s in love with her easily. Dissociates anytime the word “buddy” or friend is used by her. Gets drunk at a premiere and lustfully watches her all evening while his family, friends and gf is in the room. Playfully tries to bite R and lifts her up all the time on set. The fact that he laughed when she asked if he was trying to reach for her ass in the first scene let me know this guy is insane. And he’s British so his mind is already out of whack.

What will R and T’s work dynamic be when they have kids? Will R step back most of the time or will t also reduce his or?

Pulled: Queen of Wands

Clarification: Two of Wands

Tarot 2.0: the motherhood card! She will be barefoot, pregnant and be very happy to be home! She’s a Taurus so they love staying home anyways. She will miss working but she will definitely put her kids first for a few years. T will have a harder time deciding to stay home or work which is why I got the two of wands. He will stay home for a bit but have to travel for work after a year or so. They will talk about it but R will tell him to work and she’ll be fine! She’s very supportive and traditional. They’re relationship will be a great place and T will be happy that she’s a supportive wife and mother. It’s very sweet.

How did T and BB's relationship start? Is he a couch surfer?

Pulled: Knight of Swords

Tarot 2.0: calling that man a bum! My type of person! But yes, he’s a semi couch surfer. Rent ain’t cheap and it’s easier to move in with someone. But he’s also not going to live with anyone just for a place to stay. He actually likes BB and he's a theater kid so he’s used to living with people anyways. It’s not a big deal for him. And he’s never home so technically he feels like he doesn’t really live with her anyways. BB comes from money? I’m getting a sense of wealth from her. T is also a risk taker. He feels like getting the worst part of the relationship out of the way first. Living together is the ultimate test and deal breaker. They’ve been together for 2 or so years right? So he must like living with her so she passed that test. It should be interesting with their changing dynamic. Will he stay with her because it’s a routine or will he want his own place now that he has the money? I’m curious to see what their relationship will be like a year from now.

Did BB stay with him for 6 months during the recordings? leaving everything behind to remain like a shadow behind him?

Pulled: The High Priestess (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: No, she definitely wasn’t there for six months. She visited off and on through. And honestly, her presence wasn’t wanted on set. Yikes. T didn’t mind seeing her sometimes but he is fine having R to himself which is crazy since J was on set. Clearly T wasn’t worried about J at all. The disrespect is out of control. I’m also getting a feeling that T didn’t tell R that he was dating someone right away. It was like a secret but not really. He avoided saying it. He probably stuttered over the word gf just like he does with the word friend. And why was she so worried about impressing everyone on set? Like no one cares about you. I’m not even trying to be mean but who cares? Putting your life and work on hold to worry about your bf’s dick is stupid. She’s lucky T has some self control. Not completely but T was more focused on the movie than R’s kitty.

And what is the reason that made BB close to J? Or be the only one she follows out of the entire cast?

Pulled: The Lovers (reversed)

Clarification: Death

Tarot 2.0: This is not an authentic connection. There’s some attraction on J’s part but he’s mostly curious about her relationship with T and keeping an eye on that, making sure they don't break up. He’s hoping they stay together and T is out of his way. BB posts a lot so J is able to keep up with her life and T that way. Seeing the Lovers reversed…hmmm. I’m getting a sense that it's really about R and T since I get the lovers card often for them. J and BB have the same goal which is why they follow each other: keep R and T apart. They’re losers. Pathetic ones too. I don’t mind cool losers but BB and J are such sad individuals. I’m not doing all of this to keep my relationship alive, sorry. If you have to spy on your partners though each other then break up with R and T! They’re very worried about R and T, it’s almost an obsession. And with the death card, J and BB are trying to resist the change in their dynamic. They don’t want zeglyth to be friends at all. Unfortunately R and T are not going to leave each other alone so they have to get used to their partners seeing each other and talking daily. J and BB feel the shift of their relationships because R and T’s connection is so strong. It’s like J and BB are trying to mimic that but you can’t mimic soulmates! Sorry.

*AFTER PCA*

Tarot 2.0: I’m hoping to pull positive cards for R and J tonight! I mean come on! Something good must come up right?

How is R feeling about T right now?

Pulled: The Emperor (reversed)

Clarification: Two of Cups

Tarot 2.0: The Cold War is over. T seems to be talking like normal again! He’s so busy but he’s not ignoring her. R feels better about their friendship right now. It’s still tense and R wants to have a conversation with him but he’s telling her to wait until he’s back in NYC. She’s a little impatient and nagging him so he might have to keep her under control by reminding her that there’s a time in a place for everything. She really can’t let stuff go, can she? He might have to stern with her again.

How is T feeling about R right now?

Pulled: Five of Wands (reversed)

Clarification: Page of Wands

Tarot 2.0: He’s still being passive aggressive towards her but again, they’re back to normal with talking. He’s excited to see her so they might be meeting up soon.

How is R feeling about J right now?

Pulled: Knight of Wands (reversed)

Clarification: Three of Swords (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: I’m honestly shocked. I thought I was going to pull some positive cards for her thoughts on J. He’s distant with her and she’s trying to move past it. Whatever negative feelings she felt last week, she’s moving forward and letting go of her anger towards him. It’s difficult though because he’s reminding her why she’s angry in the first place. She’s feeling optimistic and looking at the bright side of their relationship. Not surpassingly. She’s settling for J at this point.

How is J feeling about R right now?

Pulled: The Tower

Clarification: Knight of Swords (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: J is being very selfish right now and it’s all about him. There’s also a change in his attitude. I don’t know if it’s good or bad but he’s looking for a major change in his and R’s relationship. I won’t be surprised if he asks for a break, not a full break up but a break away from her to “figure things out”.

How is T feeling about J right now?

Pulled: Eight of Swords (reversed)

Clarification: Four of Swords (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: J used to bother T but not anymore. He simply doesn’t care. I’m getting the sense he no longer cares because R and J aren’t going to last anyways. So for him it’s like why waste time being angry at a relationship that will crash and burn?

How is J feeling about T right now?

Pulled: Ace of Swords

Clarification: The Lovers

Tarot 2.0: how interesting. J is happy about his new project and credits T for being a motivator. He sees T as competition (I have to laugh!) but he’s feeling himself lately. Also I pulled the Lovers card for J and BB’s thoughts about Zeglyth yesterday. Same thing here. Something today reminded J of Zeglyth’s strong connection. I’m wondering if R and J called T to tell him about the award and J gave T a quick life update about his project and T was happy for him. Then R told T about the award and how the ceremony went so they had an easy conversation with all three of them chatting. J felt their soulmate connection.

What will the general public think about zeglyth when(if 😔) they are in a relationship?

Pulled: Queen of Swords (reversed)

Clarification: Justice and The Hermit (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: The public will see her as toxic for a while. But that’s not unusual because of the situation. People will accuse her of cheating on J, his fangirls will be bitter, and jealous. I got the Hermit which is definitely T, he will feel the disconnect from the public but won’t let it affect him too much. Another karma card in terms of Justice. So eventually the public’s opinion will heavily swing their way. It will be rough in the beginning but R and T will rise to power after a few months of public scrutiny. A red carpet appearance will immediately make people swoon.

Is R going to act the way she's acting now when she's with T?

Pulled: The Hierophant (reversed)

Clarification: Page of Pentacles (reversed) and Seven of Pentacles

Tarot 2.0: T will shut it down. He doesn’t play games with this type of stuff. She will feel like he’s trying to box her in and limit her social media freedom (something J doesn’t do) but he’s not dealing with her online BS. However, he will be patient with her and it will be rough at first. She will definitely want to talk about him 24/7 and he will value privacy. They’ll get into small arguments over it but nothing too serious and she eventually listens and overshare sometimes.

Are R and J trying to present themselves as a power couple to the general public? Are there people behind the scenes who are pushing them to do this?

Pulled: The Sun

Clarification: The Magician and The High Priestess (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: Yes, they are pushing for the power couple status hard. However, Dummy 1 and 2, don’t realize that you can’t create a power couple. It naturally happens. You can’t force fans to see you as a power couple. They think they can magically make that happen and that’s not how it works. Another karmic card. R needs to break this bad cycle now. She has bad karma coming her way if she’s not careful.

How will shoving J in the public eye affect Rs career?

Pulled: Four of Wands (reversed)

Clarification: Seven of Wands (reversed) and Eight of Pentacles

Tarot 2.0: there’s a disconnect here for long term goals. She’s doing it because she genuinely wants him to succeed so they rise together and he’s doing it to be successful on his own. She’s working hard to make their relationship as perfect as possible. For him, the relationship is just a bonus, he’s after a great career before love.

Is that tea on the blog real? I would like for her to read the “tea” that was sent to you and see if its true, and how things are going behind the scenes with the career push, pr shit, industry fans etc

Pulled: Six of Pentacles (reversed)

Clarification: Ace of Cups and Knight of Swords (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: a few things here. There’s a lot of lies mixed in with the truth. Or exaggerated truths.

It’s absolutely false that R is using T’s friendship for her personal gain. She knew he would be popular and successful but genuinely loves him and values his friendship. However, she loves the attention she gets from saying his name. Does she use his name to get attention? Yes but she’s not using T just for that. She would never do that. I’ve never got that vibe from any of the readings. The first card I pulled for them was the Lovers card so I knew it was real. She was more blind sided with the fact that people don’t like J as much. She thought her two men would have equal value in the public’s eyes.

It’s true that J was supposed to be launched with her during TBOSAS. But he’s not well received by the public which shocks R. She thought Sejanus was his breakout role but it wasn’t. She thought the 3 of them would be very successful. But it’s just her and T. That’s why she’s pushing Lucy Gray and Sejanus. She thought Sejanus would be more beloved too but no one cares.

The spotlight back on her and J is true as well. But that’s the obvious isn’t it? She can’t talk about T forever so she gradually has to stop talking about him and go back to herself and J. This isn’t a cause of concern for me because this was expected anyways. She’s just out of touch that no one wants to hear about J. I’m saying this from an unbiased perspective as someone who doesn’t care about these people but she should be catering to her neutral fans. She has a lot of fans who don’t care about Zeglyth, T, J, etc and are there for her projects? Why is she catering to a small portion of her online fandom? J and T are irrelevant in terms of her actual career.

Some of the fans are industry people. Semi true but exaggerated. Some fans definitely work in the industry and love her. Her push is organic though. J is along for the ride because R wants him to be. Some of her fans don’t care about him but recognize that he’s in her life so they accept him as her boyfriend. Nothing more. J doesn’t have real fans of his own right now and they think his next project will help with that.

They didn’t expect T to blow up like that? False. They knew he was going to be white boy of the month and be the new heartthrob. So that’s a lie that they were caught off guard. T was slightly caught off guard but R was telling him for months he was going to blow up, he didn’t believe her really until it actually happened.

Absolutely correct about T and his career. Fierce competition and he’s using his networking opportunities wisely.

And the last statement about J. Exaggerated truth. J wants to be the leading man but will he be a star? No. They’re using that word too loosely nowadays. It will launch him because it’s a Ryan Murphy project but will he gain a lot of recognition for it? No, not really. If he does, it will be for a short period of time but nothing will come of it. They’re right about him having a unique look though. In my unbiased opinion, the edger aesthetic might do the trick like they anticipate. If it works, he will gain some popularity.

R didn’t expect Zeglyth to blow up. She doesn’t understand it actually which is funny since she feeds into that ship. She knew T would be popular but the public wanting her with T was not in the game plan at all. She’s delusional if she thought J was going to be on that level. I’m starting to notice a pattern here. She stupidly thinks T and J are interchangeable. Her thinking is “if you love T, you will love J!” And that’s not how it works! She believes the public will view them how she views them. She loves them both but the public only loves T. Womp womp.

Has Tom decided to move away from Rachel and Josh forever?

Pulled: Knight of Swords

Clarification: Eight of Pentacles and Five of Swords

Tarot 2.0: J? He doesn’t care. For R? No, he will always talk to her even if they go for a long time without talking. They will always pick up where they left off. It’s never a forever thing with them.

Will R and T conversation still happen?

Pulled: The Hierophant (reversed)

Clarification: Death and Five of Wands

Tarot 2.0: A change will happen after they talk. Their conversation will be filled with small arguments and disagreements but more aggressive and playful banter than anything. It’s their usual communication style. A few issues won’t be resolved and they will leave with some unspoken truths. But overall, they always flirt and be petty towards each other in person so they will walk away with a more positive outlook on the future.

Why is Rachel so stupid? Combine her career with her boyfriend.

Pulled: Two of Cups (reversed)

Clarification: The Emperor and King of Wands

Tarot 2.0: Right away, it's never a good sign when I ask about a women's career and I get male focused cards. This relationship is very codependent and she relies on him heavily. J holds on the power in this relationship and she allows him to. What a sad life she has.

Will Josh succeed?

Pulled: The Sun

Clarification: The Hanged Man (reversed) and Page of Wands (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: He will have his moment in the spotlight but it will lead to nowhere. A lot of dead end projects that will take him nowhere.

Clarify the mess that was the tea post, the horrible speech at PCA and how things are now.

Pulled: Eight of Wands (reversed)

Clarification: Five of Pentacles and Two of Cups

Tarot 2.0: Nothing new. R is emotionally immature. It’s her and J against the world. She showed the world that J is her man and she’s happy that she won her award. She’s on cloud nine right now.

HOW DID T FEEL ABOUT Rs SPEECH?! And her win? And J being there?

Pulled: Ace of Wands

Clarification: Two of Pentacles and The High Priestess (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: T knew J was going to be there so he doesn’t care. He feels like he’s a better boyfriend but he’s frustrated with her right now. He’s not mad or upset, more disappointed.

Who are these industry friends with horrible advice?

Pulled: Seven of Wands (reversed)

Clarification: Page of Wands (reversed) and Three of Wands

Tarot 2.0: Industry friends are in denial about J and defensive over R. They’re also tired of defending J. They want R to focus on the future projects and less on J. I think everyone is feeling burned out by the drama but they use J to get her attention so they have themselves to blame.

Does Rachel's family really accept Josh or do they tolerate it because Rachel brings the money?

Pulled: Four of Cups

Clarification: Queen of Pentacles (reversed) and Five of Wands

Tarot 2.0: they’re indifferent towards J. They believe she has better options than him but they support that R loves him so they don’t want to step in. They absolutely are not saying anything because of R’s status and money. They are conflicted and there may have been arguments over J but R doesn’t listen to her family.

The question is when and how long is T willing to wait??

Pulled: King of Pentacles

Clarification: Knight of Wands (reversed) and Ten of Wands (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: oh no! I’m actually sad for him. He’s willing to wait a while since he thinks she’s worth it. However, he won’t put his life on pause. He’s waiting but not really waiting at the same time. His attitude is “I want to be with you but you have a lot of maturing to do so I’m going to continue to live my life without interruptions and if I meet someone else, that’s okay too.” He will have moments where he grows very impatient with waiting and feels like letting her go. Not anytime soon but in 3 years? 5 years? High possibility.

Why is T playing the long game?

Pulled: Knight of Wands (reversed)

Clarification: The Tower (reversed) and Ace of Cups (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: No but he has no choice! Oh, this makes more sense. He’s right. He’s forced to wait and play the long game because of the situation. Even if they break up with J and BB today, they can’t be together due to optics. He refuses to get involved in any unnecessary drama and cheating scandals. T’s trying not to be reckless in any decisions he makes. I think that’s why he’s willing to wait so long. They need time for their relationships to pass and be single before they get together. And she needs to grow up. He’s not expecting that to happen anytime soon so he’s forced to wait.

What does Tom want to talk about with Rachel ? Tarot made it clear that these are very difficult and important things... would you have any ideas?

Pulled: Three of Wands (reversed)

Clarification: Wheel of Fortune (reversed) and King of Pentacles (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: Another karma card. Yikes. A few very important issues here:

What does R want from him? T is confused by this one. I’m also getting that she called him a few weeks ago overly emotional about something and he didn’t know how to handle it. Maybe she called him after his bday and he didn’t want to hear it so he told her to call him when she gets “her feelings in check”. Lol, I like this guy. She didn’t like what he said so she was angry and he asked her “where’s J?” and hung up the phone. Ouch. No wonder he was the devil for a while.

He has a gf, other friends and a life. He’s not dropping everything for her like he did for the past 2 years. He could help her on a movie set and they would speak daily but he can’t do that anymore. His attitude is, why not go to your bf about it?

Boundaries. When he’s back in NYC, he will not spend all his time with her. I don’t know if she’s expecting that but he will be focused on other things. He wants to make that clear to her immediately.

Talk to the dog, your family, other friends or your man about it! That’s his general attitude towards her now. R gets an euphoric feeling from being with T and then will run off to be with her bf. T is very bitter about that and R isn’t being cruel on purpose but he hates it. He’s not dealing with her emotional immaturity. They communicate a lot better in person so he wants to say these things as nicely as possible.

The expectations of their long-distance friendship. He refuses to have her call, FaceTime and text him on her BS. He can handle her depression and other issues in person but he’s not dealing with her while he’s working on another project. He’s going to give her a list of rules or maybe his schedule so she knows when he’s going to be unavailable and not throw a tantrum when he doesn’t speak to her. He’s starting to realize that he has to be stern with her or she won’t get it.

Are R and T going to work together in another movie? What would it be like ?

Pulled: The World (reversed)

Clarification: Knight of Pentacles (reversed) and Five of Wands (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: right now, it’s a definite no. Things can change in the future but right now the timing is very wrong. T is a great costar to have and she will realize how easy she had it with him soon enough.

And their karmic connection is unbalanced. R needs to get her karma in order before Zeglyth can do another movie. R, focus on your career and less on cheesy dick.

#my post #tarot 2.0 #written in the stars

[daisymae-12]

weekend WIP game

thanks @welcometololaland for this fun game (the perfect way to spend my saturday night 😂) and @kiwiana-writes for the tag ❤️ I only have one art WIP right now so I opted to do the writers questions !!

Rules: List your WIPs below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future WIPs/ideas!) then answer the following questions. Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs (or more). (questions for artists/gifmakers here).

1. WIP List: ok this question made me actually label my WIP's because they're all just titled "Fic #1", "Fic #2" etc in my google drive 😅

Roommates/College AU

5+1 bestfriends to lovers [Alex accidentally keeps friendzoning Henry lmao]

Supermarket meet-cute (but not cute because Henry manages to piss off Alex)

Fake Dating/College AU [inspired by how my husband and I met]

Vampire Henry

Artist Alex [Bea commissions a gift for Henry]

Canon Divergence from Kensington

Roommates AU ft. stardew valley

Coffee Shop AU

Canon Divergence from Lakehouse

Neighbours AU

Fake Dating/High School AU [also inspired by how my husband and I met lol]

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?

Fake Dating/College AU !!

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?

Fake Dating/College AU - it's the only one so far that I've made an outline for because I think it'll be long-ish 😂

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?

Right now it's my Vampire Henry fic ❤️ enjoying it because I'm not struggling too much to write it - and the ideas have been coming easily 😌

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?

ooo probably the two canon divergence ones? mostly because they'll probably be the fics with the most angst - yikes

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?

gosh - all of them? I haven't published new fanfic in over 6 years so it's definitely been nerve wracking even sharing snippets over here for wip wednesday 😅

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?

Maybe for the longer fics? I'm not sure if I will! We'll see if I ever get to writing anything long enough 😬 I am sort of warming up to the idea of google doc cheerleaders? I dno, I'm such a slow writer though so it might stress me out 😂

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer's block?

yess the Roommates/College AU - this was the first rwrb fic I started all the way back in June LAST YEAR 😭 I wrote bits and pieces of the first two chapters and still haven't picked it back up since 😩 I've also hit writer's block with the 5+1 - I thought this would be the first fic I'd publish for rwrb AND the first fic I'd ever finish but I got triggered when writing one of the scenes which shocked me because I didn't expect it to? I'd even say this fic is light-hearted but yeah I had to stop. Hoping to finish writing that one after Vampire Henry though !!!

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?

ooo so far the only fic with an OC is Fake Dating/College AU but I can't say more without spoiling 👀

10. Which WIP is the sexiest?

Everything is such bare bones atm, so I truly don't know 😂

11. Which WIP is the angstiest?

Probably Canon Divergence from Kensington 😅😅😅

12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)?

Hoping the characterisation is ok on all of them but right now they're all so short still that I can't pick one out 🙃

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?

Gosh I am BAD at this - will probably end up being the Coffee Shop AU because cafes are my second home but we'll see 😅

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?

As of right now - been working the hardest on Vampire Henry fic but I anticipate it'll be outdone by Fake Dating/College AU - that one will take me a long time to write based on the outline I've done 💀

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?

ahh I'm not sure! Maybe Fake Dating/College AU? I can already tell that fic is going to be my baby and I hope everyone will like it too

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?

Not really but I do daydream about them in the shower 😂

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don't?

hmm not sure since everything is still quite bare bones so I'll answer this next time !

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?

Right now - Vampire Henry 😅 but not really ??? but yes the most in comparison to everything else so far LOL

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?

Nope but I do want to write a fic with an outside POV one day!

20. Tell us one thing we don't know about one or more of your WIPs.

Vampire Henry fic will probably be the first fic in a series 😬 I have ideas for a sequel OR extra scenes that will be ficlets 🥰

Yay that was so much fun! Love reading about everyones wip's but no pressure ❤️ @myheartalivewrites @heybuddy-drabbles @read-and-write- @suseagull04 @gwiazdziarka @adreamareads @sprigsofviolets @cultofsappho @anincompletelist @lizzie-bennetdarcy @notspecialbabe @littlemisskittentoes @happiness-of-the-pursuit @affectionatelyrs @heartitinthesilence @inexplicablymine @raysletters @tintagel-or-cockleshells @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @sherryvalli

#tag games #weekend wip game

[namboobieslover]

Kintsugi: the beauty of broken things || MYG

Summary: Yoongi and Minnie have been friends for quite some time now, almost... 15 years? 15 years since they ran into each other in that music classroom by an unlucky (or not) mistake. They've grown close, but both of them have strong characters and insecurities that will have to be put aside when Minnie falls into her own lie, risking her job in the process. They have 3 days to feel comfortable and make everyone believe their role as the young engaged couple or she is fucked :[

Pairing: musical producer! Yoongi x lab tech/science nerdy! f reader au; non-idol! BTS members make a brief appearance

Genre: fluff, angst, kinda slow burn (?), best friends to fake couple au, constant unresolved sexual tension, two idiots too proud to openly speak but pinning each other

Word count: so far, almost 25k but still unfinished

Warnings: use of bad language, mentions of insecurities/low self-esteem, anxiety, trauma; light use of weed, little smut if you scrutinize, SFW

Masterlist: 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // ...

A/N: hi there! this one it's my first story to be uploaded, a way for me to de-stress from uni exams. I'm not a native English speaker, so please forgive any grammatical mistakes :/

As Yoongi said, you have to put your work out there to learn about it, so... feel free to give some feedback (as positive as you can, please). The story is halfway done, but as I have to proofread most of it and apply the holy Grammarly, uploading will have a normal pace

I'm not fully confident of my writing abilities or English use, but it is what it is, I guess

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CHAPTER 1: Surprises and planning

Word count: 7'1K

-Sup, loser.

-Hi

I roll my eyes while I flop into the sofa.

-I mean... I'm not asking for big parties but, you know, a little more enthusiasm when seeing your bestie wouldn’t hurt. Don’t you think?

The only answer I get is a loud exhale of air.

-Someone is susceptible today…

Min Yoongi.

We’ve been friends for maybe… 15 years? And what a ride.

We first met in high school, at the sweet age of 12/13. With all the hormonal stuff and changes going around… such a happy stage of life to remember, yikes.

We didn't have anything in common; he was an artistic soul while I considered, or I would like to consider myself, as a science girl. But little me saw too many talent shows with great singers and decided to give it a shot.

-Hi! It’s here where the choir practices?

-Yeah, here is where all the magic happens -I would’ve never expected such an ironic answer from such a cute-looking girl- Are you new or lost on your way to another place?

-New or that’s what I intend to be. I signed the paper in the hall and someone emailed me the instructions. Told me to come to Mrs Lars's classroom.

-Oh, then you are in the right place. She is in the storage room looking for the materials we’ll be needing today.

-Okay class -a sweet voice fills the room interrupting our conversation- please take a seat.

I signal the seat next to the girl asking nonverbally if it’s taken, and she answers that it's not occupied.

-So… today we have lots of new faces. Instead of having personal interviews with each of you, I thought that maybe it would be better and easier to have you join us for today’s lesson. That way you’ll see how we work, a light version of course. After I dismiss the class, as I told you in the email, please stay a little longer and perform a song of your liking. Any questions?

A boy asks if they have to stay at the auditions if they aren't new.

-If you want to, you can stay but if you prefer to leave, that's okay too. That reminds me: for the ones that aren’t new, welcome back; I'm happy to see you again. To y'all my pupils, I wish for a good and healthy year. Any other doubts?

Silence is the answer.

-Then, we’ll start.

The 60 minutes pass fast. The teacher is really fun and makes all the music technicalities more approachable to everyone in the room. We play some games to get to know each other's names while learning a little bit about music structure. 

-Well done. That’s all for today. See you next day.

A lot of students start picking up their books and bags, and I bid goodbye to Nelly, the one with a loving face and a smart mouth. She is… interesting to say the least, but also nicer than expected. 

And friendly enough to ask my dubitative ass to exchange numbers…

Now, the moment of truth: the audition. Not gonna lie, nobody here will be the next Céline Dion but they are okay. That makes me even more nervous, and it shows when my turn comes. Luckily (ironically) I'm the last one. My voice is shaky and even if I am doing terribly, they all keep a smile on their face, which I thank deeply.

Like everyone else, I don't receive any type of feedback from Mrs Lars. She just tells us the following.

-Thanks to any single one of you for showing interest in my subject. Everyone will be accepted in this class; the “audition” was just a formality to classify you in the range that fits you the best. Music is a language that unifies all humans, and even if most of them haven’t been gifted with an incredible voice or the ability to play an instrument, I won't deny the chance to learn it anyways. There’s always a role that fits you the best and I’m sure that while communication runs in both directions, we’ll have a good year. Today you saw how my class works; if you still want to join me and your classmates, the only thing needed is to send me an email by the end of the weekday to confirm it. I will reply with indications, information and advice to improve your natural talent and I want you to practise for a couple of weeks to get used to that routine and the work method. Then, you’ll be divided into groups with people who share your characteristics to work together with the things in common and have healthy feedback. Also, you can ask me when needed or use the music studios to train. I’m sure your parents will thank me -she laughs- Does that sound good?

-Yes Mrs Lars -we answer in unison.

-Ah, and also, if you don't think this is your thing and want to choose another activity, that’s okay. Not receiving the mail of confirmation I previously had talked about, will be understood as the desire to not continue. Feel free to do it if you want to; no hard feelings. This will take a lot of energy and free time, so… make sure that all the effort goes to something you like or you’ll end up despising me and music itself. Any questions or doubts?

As nobody speaks, she dismisses the class.

It took me a couple of days to decide whether I should join music or look for another option, but animated by my parents and the possibility of this helping me with my scenic fear, I choose to keep going with the idea.

Apparently, my vocal range is mezzo-soprano-contralto, which is why I have a difficult time in a higher register. Once I knew that, everything changed for me. Singing was easier and less damaging; just better. I wasn’t that good but for once I felt like my efforts were taking me somewhere.

I still needed a lot of practice, so I would usually spend some time during lunchtime (with the teacher’s permission) doing so in the rehearsal room. Unluckily, one day when I went to my usual spot, the class was already occupied by another person, so I met with my teacher to know what had happened. 

-I’m sorry sweetheart, it’s my fault. I have such a big cold that the headache is making my head pound and I can’t even think straight. Would it be inopportune if I reserve the room after class so you don’t have to skip today’s practice?

-That sounds good too.

-Okay, then I will write your name in the folder -she says reaching for it hung on the wall. She seems a little confused when looking at today’s schedule 

-Isn’t it possible? -I ask her.

-Oh no, everything is fine. Seems like I’ve already written the reservation in your name earlier. Must’ve forgotten to tell you when I did that, I guess that just in case, to offer you a resolution to this problem.

-Then, I’m noted to the main classroom after class?

-Yeah, you are good to go.

-Thank you.

As told, I went to the said place and started my warming exercises. After some scales, I tried “Million Reasons” by Lady Gaga, struggling with the highness of the bridge. I was stuck with that part for some days by then, and my frustration was almost visible in the form of smoke outing my ears.

I was on my…¿20th try? When an unknown voice scared me when the song finished.

-Well… that was…interesting.

-Fucking hell, you scared me.

-Not more than you did to me with your vocals.

-Excuse me?

-Apologies accepted.

Is a boy around my age and size. He wears rectangular glasses and a mostly black outfit, which contrasts with his pale skin perfectly. His eyes are quite small but ooze tons of coldness. He impassively walks to the piano in the corner and starts to get things out of his backpack.

-Mmm… What are you doing?

His dark orbs peer at me with a pensive aura, but he dismisses those thoughts and gives me rolling eyes.

-Practising.

-Yeah, I could have guessed that.

-I am not the one asking the stupid questions here.

-What I meant -he interrupts me by playing some notes- As I was saying -he does it again.

I approach the instrument he is in and put down the keyboard cover, giving him enough time to retract his hands. Ups his sight and boy, is a furious one.

-Are you crazy? -he shouts- You could have harmed me!

-Chst, nobody with two functional cells doing synapsis would have that bad reflexes so please, stop crying, you little baby.

-Excuse me?

-Apologies accepted -I deliver the sentence the same way he did to me, with a pompous smile on my face while I sit proudly in a nearby chair- Also, you deserve it. That’s what you get when trying to mess with me.

-Oh, was I disturbing you? Sorry, I didn't want to. I’m so distracted -what he says in a pitying tone doesn’t match the challenging look in his eyes and the smirk he isn’t even trying to hide.

-I can tell -I bark back the same way- Anyway, as I was saying before you decided to be a cretin, what are you doing here?

-Judging based on your singing skills maybe…you aren't aware that this is a music classroom? You know, where musicians do their thing -speaks ironically

-Of course I know where I am. My doubt is what are YOU doing here at this time. I made a reservation with Mrs Lars.

-Me too.

-That’s impossible.

-No, it’s not. Since I did. You must be wrong.

-No, you are -I fight a little offended.

He rolls his eyes.

-Okay. Let’s search the classroom schedule Mrs Lars keeps in her office and you’ll see your mistake -decides while clapping his hands together and getting up.

-You must mean YOUR mistake -I clarify while imitating his gestures.

I follow him to said office, where he signals to a folder hanging on the wall. He goes through it while searching for today’s schedule and once he finds it, aggressively puts his finger in the initials “M.Y”

-As I was saying, you are the one wrong -he says proudly.

-What? Those are my initials!

-No, they are not. They are M.Y. as in Min Yoongi.

-No, they are M.Y as Min Young Mi.

We look at each other kinda confused.

-I guess Mrs Lars must have committed a mistake while writing our names because of the similarities -he thinks out loud.

-You think so? -I reply as ironically as I can. He rolls his eyes.

That evening was the beginning of what we like to call “The Valerian War”. As stubborn as we were, any of us was willing to give in to the other. None offered to leave or neither changed the reservation for the evenings that followed, so we played mental resistance war, and it got so bad that we needed some valerian infusion to support the evils that we did to each other so that the other would surrender.

Some favourites were him cutting my microphone wires or playing a recording of my voice on the school’s radio for everyone to listen to. I gave back by making good use of a 2x3 glue thrift offer. I was almost sent to the other world when he had to walk back home with the piano’s bench cushion glued to his butt or with music sheets united to his hand.

Eventually, with little acts of kindness by both sides, we started to open up and help each other (he assisted me in musical stuff while I improved his anger management) and we reached the point where we were looking all day to that moment of the evening. It took almost a year and a lot of Nelly’s talks to finally admit that we enjoyed spending time together. Slowly but surely, we started meeting out of school till becoming besties. We had a lot more in common than we thought.

-Call me stupid but-

-Stupid -he interrupts me without hesitance.

-Min Yoongi, be careful with your words, I have your mom on quick dial.

-So childish that is almost sad.

-Would she think as childish that you signed a big contract with an important company and didn’t say a word to your family? I guess I can just ask her -my tone is a mockery one.

The keyboard typing stops followed by a dry laugh.

-You dirty bitch. Must be desperate to threaten me with that.

-It’s just that… I’m frustrated.

-Sexually?

-No. Well… That too. But no.

He quietly laughs.

-Maybe I can lend you a hand.

-Yeah, in my neck to cut the flow of air? -I ask acidly but then my black humour needs to make an appearance- Actually, that’s not that much of a bad idea. One lifetime occasion where I would let you commit the desire of killing me without getting angry about it; I promise.

-Mmm, kinky. If that’s what you want… -he spouts with a teasing tone and a smirk.

-What?

I’m no stranger to letting my intrusive thoughts win over me and make it aaaall the way to my mouth without realising it, so when he answers I have to replay the last section of our conversation to understand what he means.

-Ugh, you are disgusting.

-Yeah. I think how disgusting it is that I know you so well, that I am genuinely not surprised about you having a choking kink.

-I… I don’t have a choking kink -I defend myself by putting a brave face on when I actually kind of like that stuff.

-Yeah, right -he answers in a disinterested way, turning back to his computer- Just so you know…next time you try to lie as much as you are doing, tell your red cheeks to not make an appearance. It gives it away.

I take advantage of him not looking at me to raise my hands and check if they are matter-of-factly red, which are. I clear my throat in the need of changing the subject.

-Till now all you said has been really helpful, you know? -I say rolling my eyes

-Till now you still haven’t said a word about your problem, apart from your need to get laid, of course.

-The thing is that I messed badly with my boss -I purposely ignore the last sentence and he lets out a little laugh because of it.

-What makes you think that?

-It’s not something she said or did. Actually… It's my fault.

-I doubt it… but would you mind explaining? -he still has his back facing me while clicking the unwired mouse, something that will make the next thing I have to say a lot easier.

-Do you remember when you got appendicitis and had to stay at the hospital? And then when you needed help when sent home?

-How would I not remember?

-Well… The thing is that to convince my boss, which I already told you, is a hard one… I had to lie. A lot.

That seems to catch his attention because finally turns to face me.

-When you mean a lot, how much are we talking about? You said everything was okay with you taking those days off.

-I think we have already established the point that I am a ‘liar, liar, pants on fire’.

-So… What did you tell her?

-Mmmm… I knew some of my coworkers asked her for some days off because of a friend or a relative being sick, and she always rejected them except when they talked about fiancés, husbands or sons; that kind of stuff. So to make her accept my petition, I made her believe it was about my fiancé.

-You said what?

-I basically said all the truth but omitted that you are only my friend. I completely made up a story about my hardworking fiancé, who fell sick, and has no other family around than me to take care of him… It was a little white lie, but when I was back to work everyone was nice to me, even my boss.

-Why don’t you tell them that you broke up? 

-That was my plan, I swear. Buuuut, I started to talk a little bit here and there about him being an asshole, like getting ready to break the news, you know? Buuuuut that made them even nicer to me! Never knew criticising a partner would unite us that much.

-My surgery was last year…have you been lying to them for that long?

-Yeah…

-And didn’t they suspect anything when a year passed and still no wedding was in sight?

-Yes, but I explained how as we were both busy with our respective jobs, trying to save money for it, and having some trouble in our relationship… had decided to take it easy.

He seems lost in thought, with the elbows resting on the armrests of his chair and fingers brushing his chin. Then laughs, crossing his arms over his chest.

-Well, well, well. When I think that you cannot surprise me anymore, here you come.

-Yeah, really funny how this will end with me getting fired.

-Don’t be silly. They’ll never know.

-That’s what I thought till my company decided to celebrate a ball to raise funds for their project about breast cancer. And everyone expects me to bring my said fiancé to meet them.

-OMG you are such a loser.

-I don’t know why I came here expecting some support. Seems like today is not the day you want to deal with my stuff -I get a little angry because he doesn't understand how bad this is and how much I’ve been stressing the last few weeks trying to find a solution.

-Minnie, you know that’s not it -he quickly answers.

-Don’t worry. It’s my fault. By now I must have put in my mind that while you are working don’t wanna be bothered by others' banal stuff -I recollect my bag and start my way to the door.

I feel his hand wrapping around my wrist, trying to stop me.

-Stop it. I don’t wanna bother you.

He sighs and uses that hitch as a way to put me closer to him and after that, sit me again on the couch.

-Yeah, you are a pain in the ass, but even like that… you’ll never bother me when it’s about struggling with something, so… don’t say that.

-That’s how you made me feel.

-And I’m sorry about it. When it comes to words, we both know that I’m not the best to be sensitive.

-Except with your lyrics -I half-joke to reassure him. 

I feel bad to react this way because he has a life too and here I am burdening him with my problems; all because I am so weak that I drown in a cup of water.

-Yeah, except for my lyrics -says way softer.

-Ugh, I’m so messed up -I groan while hiding my face between my hands and laying back.

-Yeah, a little bit but, what are you going to do?

-What do you mean?

-I know you, so I expect you to have something in mind already -he says palming one of my knees while still sitting in his chair.

I drop my arms to my sides, tired.

-No. Well, technically yes, but not anymore.

-What?

-I had a plan but not anymore because things didn’t go the way I expected.

-How is that?

-Don’t wanna hear you say anything about “I warned you”.

-This is going to be good -he whispers loud enough for me to hear it, but after giving him a death stare, motions his mouth getting zipped and throws the key away.

-The obvious solution is to have someone pretending to be my fianceé. After wondering who would be the best option I asked Jim to fill that role because, you know, we were kinda hooking up.

-What did he say?

-Like cartoons. I was almost able to see smoke in his dashing foot.

-Told you so -whispers again with a smirk.

I want to save energy, so my only answer is to roll my eyes. It's not like I could deny it because he, in effect, told me that. 

When I started to meet Jim, equally scared of commitment as me, Yoongi warned me about how he would never be the one for me. How under the sweet gestures and amazing chemistry, we were only two people wasting time. How he could, maybe, let me down when I truly needed him. He wasn’t wrong. While explaining this whole issue to Jim, he was losing all the colour on his face because I told him that he would have to pretend to be in love. Pretend. I didn’t love him either but I was expecting the both of us to put on a little show of it.

But Yoongi knows that behind the façade I put saying that I don't want serious business, the reality is that I'm just searching for the right person to let my defences down. But to find it and as a scientist, I must do trial and error. Right?

-Then I contacted everyone in our group but all of them are occupied with close notice, and since my family is away, I can’t ask a cousin or something. Not to mention how weird it would have been -I shake my shoulders trying to shake the disgusting image of my mind.

-What about a random person or a gigolo? 

-I don’t have enough time to teach somebody the full ass history of how we fell in love or the money to pay for it. Also, I'm trying to avoid paying for another human till I'm 70 and alone, with the only company of my 5 cats. Thanks.

-That’s all?

-I started to pretend that I’m falling sick to have an excuse, but everyone seems suspicious of me. If that doesn’t work, I’m fucked up. For real. That’s my last chance.

-As I see it, that’s not your last chance. You forgot about something.

-I did?

To say that I am confused is an understatement.

-Yeah you fool -he smiles widely and reclines in his chair with crossed arms.

-I…don’t…follow you.

-Me. 

-You what? -My confusion is at the ceiling level.

-Me -He repeats with open arms- You forgot me.

Is this what I think it is?

-Stop frowning -and I do at his call- I can't believe you didn’t try to ask me.

-You are joking, aren’t you?

-No -he turns to the computer shrugging.

-Wait, wait, wait -I turn him to face me by the armrest- You, Min Yoongi, THE Min Yoongi, are offering to be my ‘date’ for an event at my workplace?

-God, don’t put it like that. But yeah, the answer is yes. I don’t know why it seems so unbelievable to you.

-I didn't ask you because: 1) I was ashamed, 2) you and I aren't precisely the most comfortable with touching or sweet words, and 3) and the main: aren’t you visiting your hometown this weekend? I know how much you’ve been looking forward to it.

-Yes, I was. But you are crazy if you think that I would let you lose your job for it.

-But you’ve worked so hard… you deserve that break.

-Listen and stop being stubborn. I know that your job is as important to you as mine is to me, not to mention that if you are in this position it is because of me. So… the fair thing is to be the one helping you out of this situation.

-You realise that we will have to pretend that we are in love, right? -I say carefully.

-I pretend that I like you every day so, I don’t think it will be that hard. 

I know he says it to make me laugh and take the iron off the matter, but I can’t help smacking his thigh while giggling. 

-What preoccupies me is you; would you be able not to fall in love with me?

We both laugh, knowing that it’s impossible.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I’m completing my look with sparkling earrings and I look at myself in the mirror. Not bad.

I’m wearing what I consider my slutiest outfit: a baggy long-sleeve dress with a deep v-neck and which long is mid-thigh. The cloth resembles black silk but falls beautifully around my curved body, adjusting in the places it should to remark my features. I added all the sparkly accessories because they contrast greatly with my tanned skin and the dress itself, but I guess all seems blurred compared to my boobs. Those girls are looking great tonight. 

My hairstyle and makeup are a little basic, but enough to make me feel pretty.

While applying perfume someone rings the doorbell. I’m ready on time, so taking all my stuff and a false pink fur coat, I open the door.

I have to admit it, he looks stunning. Yoongi is wearing black skinny jeans with a white t-shirt tucked in, black combat boots and a green bomber jacket. All prettily completed with silver accessories and his long ginger hair slightly gelled back on the sides. My favourite look on him.

-Why aren’t you wearing high heels?

That comment is enough to get me out of my trance, but I understand it; that’s the only part of my outfit on display.

-Is bad enough to be wearing ones for the ball, so yes, thank you, I won’t be torturing myself tonight -I explain as I close my house with the key.

-You were the one who had the idea of dressing in the clothes the other likes most.

-I’m wearing everything you asked for except for the heels. Relax.

-Let me see.

-Hell no, it is freezing here. You’ll see once we get to the discotheque. C’mon.

-I don’t trust you. At all -he whispers but follows me to the taxi stop.

This is part of the amazing plan we made together on Tuesday night. Not the best idea but…it will have to do the work.

The ball is on Friday so we have a couple of days to make us believable as a couple. Tonight, Wednesday, part one is in development. We’ll go to drink (a lot) and dance in a public place and act as partners in love. Is like practice for the real situation and luckily, as I suggested, dressing in a way the other likes will make it easier to dissociate the image of best friend that we find disgusting to act in love with.

We have two days to be comfortable with holding hands, him holding me for the small of my back, me hanging into his arm, hugging and… kissing. Not fully making out, like little pecks. Or at least that’s the order both of us come together to decide as necessary to give the ‘’living in the honeymoon stage of relationship’’ vibes.

Tomorrow we will work on our love story, pet names and all that stuff. Maybe we’ll have to buy some alcohol for it too.

-Should we…maybe…start? -he asks, looking the other way.

-I think I need a couple of quick shots before.

-Thank God, me too -laughs.

I signal to a bar near us that won’t make us change our direction fully, and he agrees.

-Please, four shots of tequila -Yoongi orders to the bartender, and I am grateful for that amount.

Since I am the one using his help, I want to invite him. He gives me bored eyes and tries to take my money away from the counter, but I push him a little bit and open my coat to let my neckline on the view of the young bartender.

-Please, accept my money. You can keep the change as a tip -my voice is as sweet as I physically can and I bat my eyelashes. It works because he takes my money a little bit flustered and his only answer is a nod. I laugh to myself and close the coat again, turning to my friend, who is downing his first little vase.

I take one making cheers in the air before ingesting the hot liquor.

-You know… what you did is not fair.

-What do you mean? -I play dumb.

-You know what I mean -he says before drinking his other drink- That poor boy… I would be surprised if he doesn't end up hard as wood.

-Why is that bad? Dozens of men look at my ass or boobs without any intention on my side or dressing to “provoke” them. It’s not my fault that in this patriarchal society, women are so fucking sexualized that men think it’s okay to do it. He would have looked at them anyway if I weren’t wearing the coat so excuse me for using that in my favour instead of against me - I drink my last shot.

He looks at me kind of speechless, but after clearing his throat he says “When you are right, you are right”.

The cold air receives us in the street, but the burning sensation in our stomachs is a great contrast. We decide to go walking to the discotheque since it isn’t that far and after ten minutes of comfortable silence, I start to feel the alcohol quicking in in the form of an unexpected laugh.

-What happens? -Yoongi seems confused but laughs too.

-This situation… is ridiculous.

-I know.

-But again, thank you. You are saving me from a good one. I owe you.

-Don’t be stupid, we are best friends. You take care of me and I take care of you. That is how we have always worked and how it will always work.

-Wow, alcohol is getting into you too? You are speaking mindlessly.

-A bit. A long time has passed since I last drank something; work has been… crazy.

-Same for me. Maybe it is a good moment for…you know.

-First step?

-Yeah, first step. Are you okay with that?

-Of course.

We look at each other's hands and making a brave move, I'm the one initiating the motion. His are colder and slightly bigger but feels surprisingly comfortable to intertwine fingers and sense his even colder rings brushing with mine. That heat difference sends a shiver through my body.

It’s not like we have never held hands in other contexts. We do, for example, while walking in a street full of people or in a comforting situation and stuff like that, but it is our first time to do it without a physical or emotional need.

-How do you feel? -I ask cautiously.

-Weird, not gonna lie.

-Me too.

-But it’s not the first time we held hands and I have to say that luckily you feel warm.

-Yeah, you are freezing man -the tension weakens and we start to walk again, still hand in hand.

-I forgot my coat and when I realised I was already too far. I expected to be in a taxi and drunk so I didn’t take it so seriously. Now I’m regretting my choices.

I can’t stop a laugh and he does the same, showing a gummy smile.

-I can work with that. Grieving for my frozen-to-death fiancé is a good excuse to go to the bloody fundraiser alone.

-Then, who would listen to your nonsense anxious babbling?

-You aren’t my only friend, you know that right?

-They simply can’t compare. Even Nelly. 

-Yeah, they can’t compare because nobody reaches your level of pettiness.

-That’s what we have in common you and I, my friend.

Our bickering continues till we reach our destination, where it is time to start the practice. Reading my mind he offers his arm for me to cling to it while still holding hands; a typical pose of couples who’ve been together for some years.

-IDs? -the bouncer asks us.

Once he checks that we are above 23 (a way to only let in adults) the heat receives us when we cross the door. The decoration is beautiful and serious, way different from what we are used to.

-Everyone here seems a little off, don’t you think? -Yoongi asks me.

-Yeah, I guess the age requirement takes away the younger spirit. You know this place is for people who want to have a good night but not that “wild”.

-If this is what awaits me once I establish a serious relationship, I’m definitely staying single.

-Bold of you to assume that you’ll find someone who can keep up with your antics. It’s not like you are turning love proposals all day.

His elbow pinches at my ribs for making fun of him and I laugh.

-You are one to talk… Also, I have some game so… your words don’t offend me miss “Please help me because my ashole of a hookup can’t even pretend to be in love with me”.

-Yeah, that was because he knew that once he started pretending, it wouldn’t be pretending anymore and I’m too much of a woman for him.

-Sure -his eyes are mocking me.

-Let’s grab some drinks, stupid.

He straightly asks for a whiskey, his favourite drink, but I order a rum with coke. He offers me to taste it and I’m dumb enough to do it, gagging at the flavour.

-You have an easy gag reflex, maybe now I understand why Jim dumped your ass so easily.

-Don’t worry hun, it’s only related to alcoholic drinks and he surely dumped me but my ass felt a great loss to him -I cheer my drink with his.

He gives me an unreadable stare while swallowing the odd savoury liquor.

I hate to admit it, but he looks smoking hot tonight. I can’t put my finger exactly on what it is, but something of him making dark humour about Jim while staring at me in that mockery way and gulping whiskey like water… is entrancing. Am I that sex deprived or what?

He frowns one eyebrow trying to guess what's on my mind and just the possibility of him being able to decipher my thoughts has me blushing.

-Is hot here. I’m going to the wardrobe to leave my coat - I excuse myself while getting up from the stool.

-Want me to accompany you?

-Oh, no. Don’t worry. I don’t think it will take me that long.

I join the wardrobe queue a little anxious. Just thinking of what awaits me these days stresses me; it’s really out of my comfort zone. I take the coat for the smiley girl behind the counter to take it.

-Wow girl, you are stunning.

-Thank you, I hope my… boyfriend thinks the same -the b-word gets a little stuck in my throat.

-If he doesn’t… take him to the doctor. That would mean he has his sight damaged. Or better, come back and I’ll make sure you have a good time -she says winking and giving me a little key with a number.

-I’ll keep that in mind -I answer a little flustered and return to where Yoongi is waiting.

He is turned to face me, elbow resting on the bar and cup playing in his hand in circular motions. He eyes me up and down and licks his lips, and I have to put all the effort in me to keep walking like nothing and not choke on my air.

He must have noticed my nervous state because this time, decides to directly ask.

-Oh, I was a little shocked -I answered because… well, that is true- The girl in the wardrobe made a move on me suggesting that if my partner doesn’t like me or something, she will take matters herself to give me a good time -that is also true.

-She did?

-Yeah, why is it so hard to believe? -I am a little offended and I chug down the rest of my drink.

-Not that is hard to believe, but… Do you like girls or something now? -he seems genuinely curious, trying to assure me that anything I say next, will be well received from him.

-No, this isn’t me coming out; sadly I’m still into men. Just… is nice to have someone complimenting me even if I’m not into girls -a change in his gaze is noticeable, and that’s what makes me realise that maybe he feels like I’m implying something else that I’m not- Anyways, I thought that she was nice and a funny anecdote. Do you want anything else to drink?

I can almost see him shaking his head to get rid of whatever was going on there and nods, chugging the remains of whiskey, which makes his Adam's apple move up and down. He has a nice side profile, I’ll admit that too. 

Once we have refilled our vases, we start a little conversation about our works and how excited he is that his first mixtape is in the final steps to be published. Only the photos and the design of the cover are missing, which will be arranged on Friday morning, previous to the gala.

-I can’t believe that you didn’t let me listen to it.

-I want you to see the final product, to see the full concept like the rest.

-Still… I can’t believe that you are doing this to your very first fan. I guess from now I will have to fight with all your new fans for a little attention.

-Like you ever had it… -he smirks and I hit him in the arm.

-Maybe I should start stanning other rappers, Namjoon is doing great with his mixtape. At least he appreciates me a little bit.

-Yeah, he would appreciate having you under his sheets. Well, he and the rest of the boys of the studio.

-Don’t be silly, we are just friends.

-Yeah, because no friends in history have ever hooked up, right?

-Not me at least.

-Because you are good at friend-zoning without even noticing. It’s really fun to watch them all try to have a date with you. I will tell you more, we have a bet going on.

-What? Stop joking.

His gaze is devilish, but his face remains serious; that’s how I know that he is being honest. He funnily grins while drinking and I just blush.

-Seriously? I don’t know Yoongi, that seems fake.

-Kinda is, kinda not. At the start, when they first meet you, they, believe it or not, wanted you as something more than a friend. After some time trying and failing, they accepted that it was impossible. However, it is still a joke to make moves on you to see if you notice but I know that if you give them any signal, they would be moving their tails like the dogs they are.

-That's what the bet is about? For how long has it been going on?

.Around… I don’t know. Two years maybe?

To say that I'm speechless is an understatement.

-Who’s in that bet?

-All the group?

-Even… you?

-I guess… but I like to think of myself as a judge in all this. It wouldn’t be fair to them if I played at their level since I’m your best friend.

-Oh my god, you are so full of yourself.

-Why?

-You think you can win against the others with that dumpling-like skin and that skinny body of yours? You wouldn’t be able to handle me. Jungkook or Namjoon? Definitely.

-I would prove it to you, but once you get a taste… you can’t go anywhere else.

Scarlet cheeks are my only answer to that.

-And what’s the prize of that bet?

-Free pass with you if you want it too.

-Ugh, and you are part of that?

-Now you are the one full of herself. If I win maybe I’ll be able to trade that for some equipment my studio is missing.

-I’m not an object you can use to “trade”.

-Of course you aren’t. Of course.

He pats my head messily and I can see a glint of fun in his eyes, which in Yoongi’s language means that he feels a little tipsy. He’s not the touchy type at least he has some alcohol flowing through him.

Honestly, I know that I should be a little angry with this whole bet thing but I am not. Yes, is a little weird that all of them are in this but at the same time… I know they would never hurt me or take advantage of me in that way. Also, I have to admit that sometimes I do second checks of them because… holy cow, they seem like some greek marble-carved figurines that came to life. So.. am I the one to blame?

Not to mention how lovely and protective of me they all are; I can’t remember a time when I didn’t have had their support for whatever stupid thing I was trying or a warm hug if I needed it. I guess this thing is a friendly joke I wasn’t aware of but thanks to alcohol-induced honesty in Yoongi…I’m going to have MY fun with it.

-Now that you have told me this, who has won? You are destroying it.

-I suppose the first you flirt back to and I told you because… two years?? At this point, we all know that the bet was never going to end. Why? Now that you know, is your interest in any of those assholes?

-Maybe…

-Who? -I know this caught him by surprise.

-You will have to give me more drinks and a couple of dances to know that. Decide your strategy while my trip to the bathroom -I laugh at him and make my way to the service room.

I’m not interested in any of them, but as I said, it’s my turn to have some fun with it and poor Yoongi, he’s my first victim. We have some bond to do to look like a couple, right? Well, I will take this as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

->Chapter 2

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[arcanarubinaito]

I’m glad my ask about your Asrian stuff made you feel so validated and happy!!

I also wanted to add that it’s super awesome and refreshing that you don’t brush off what happened between them as “well it was just they were in bad mental places so neither of them did anything wrong” because that’s a bull excuse for bad behavior and also boring. They did awful things! It happened, they’re not perfect!! They weren’t ill intentioned but there’s no excuse for what they did to each other and that’s what makes it so interesting to explore their dynamic and relationship!!!

I love that you don’t have it as “actually it was super romantic and consensual” because that scene was NOT that no matter what the devs said.

And I ESPECIALLY love how you don’t make either of them innocent while the other is pure evil. Julian was pushy and selfish, Asra was stand offish and hot/cold with Julian

I fucking love how you do Asrian!!

Sorry for rambling I just needed to gush!

Aaaa! I stg I was smiling while reading this. Arguably the best way to end my night I think. I love rambles! I hope you don’t mind that I respond with one of my own.

Asrian on the surface is a very appealing ship. A whimsical magician well versed in their craft, with a melodramatic doctor that believes only in what science explains. That’s a really fun juxtaposition to explore, in the lens of both friendship and romance. That’s what gets a lot of people I think; and in combination with the appeal of them being bitter exes with a steamy flashback? Bam, you’ve got the formula for a popular ship right there.

There’s so much there that gets brushed aside—one of the big things for me is how it all started with a really solid friendship. Assuming that Nadia’s birthday memory was from before Asra and Julian hooked up, they really did seem comfortable with each other. You could argue that they were a little flirty but rereading it, I think all three of them were with each other. (I’ll blame the wine on this one /j)

Stress makes the perfect base for bad decisions. And oh boy did they make some bad decisions. Things that I think they both need to own up to and address to have any chance at a healthy relationship (whether it’s simply friendship or something more).

Someone pointed out to me that in Muriel’s route, nearly all of the scenes where Asra and Julian are intimate involve at least Asra being mildly (if not fully) inebriated. Which is a big yikes. (And I honestly refuse to put that in my story, it makes me so uncomfortable; hence why I’m trying to rewrite things from a different angle without sacrificing their toxic origins.)

I don’t condemn this sort of thing in fiction, by the way; while it is a personal squick of mine to write, I’m not going to blast The Arcana for including that sort of detail. In some ways it makes sense for the circumstances; stress -> getting drunk or high or something -> falling back on old, bad habits. It’s a fairly realistic glimpse at how toxic relationships can operate in the long term.

#arcanarubinaito #the arcana #the arcana game #ask box #the arcana julian #julian devorak #ilya devorak #the arcana asra #asra alnazar #asra the magician