ok, ok, shi mei being manipulative towards his beloved and tricks them into thinking that he is the best option and that you dont need others and you just have to follow him, him who always looks out for you.
but imagine he asks you to join him on his journey or well, plan, and you REFUSE. so he puts on a little crybaby show, sobbing and crying pathetically and begging you, saying that hes nothing without you, how he just means well as his golden tears fall down his beautiful face, even getting down on his knees and clinging at your waist.
best actor in shisheng peak? hell yeah
and you give in, your sweet little boy and swear that you will follow him. his plan worked. he decided to play the innocent and helpless facade a little longer. after all, being cradled by his beloved just because hes crying?
he would cry all day if it meant you not leaving him.
shixiong...
♡ unhealthy behaviour (emotional manipulation), pet names; yandere!reader implied if you squint, used 'shixiong' for the reader, shi mei is my little butterfly prince!!! he's done nothing wrong in his life!!!
SHI MEI has timid smile, soft face, small palms and peach blossom eyes that glow with something gently smoky in the glow of the night, like the tongues of a bonfire, but the shade is not at all like scarlet or gold — closer to blooming violet flowers that can stupefy the mind of anyone who looks too long. It's dark outside; the rain pours like a bucket, flooding the usually dark blue sky even more, making it completely black, even without a hint of white spots, the same spots as in SHI MEI'S eyes when he is happy.
But now his eyes are stringy, darkened, as if the rain has an effect on him, making his usually flexible and light figure heavy and clumsy, unable to even move to snuggle up to you, which he often does when you are alone, as if looking for protection and support from the whole world in you. As if your body is a bastion or a nest where he can hide, knowing that he will always be welcome there.
But now, while large spots are falling from the sky, breaking on rocks, cutting into many small water fragments, SHI MEI is silent — although he has never been sociable or extroverted, one glance of his eyes was enough for people to want to reach out, even if his face is always a blurry spot in someone else's memory.
“Shixiong...”
His voice sounds like rain, although SHI MEI himself smells of something pleasant, not at all damp or wet — but still like water, and when misty dark eyes rise from the flowers nailed by raindrops on you, you can't help but feel that something is about to happen.
Raindrops beat with the same force with which your heart beats, as if your subconscious itself finds out that before even scarlet lips have time to say, looking into his black pupils, not letting you look away even when a delicate fragile palm touches your shoulder — and slides down to the palm, covering it with his cool and narrow.
“I have something to tell you, shixiong... Shixiong, you... you'll always be on my side, right?”
His voice is like the murmur of water in a cave — not at all like the rain outside, and for some reason you feel strangely airy and grounded, listening to the sound of almost inaudible breathing, merging with a glimmer in his beautiful eyes, like light in a lake, even when it is dark and gloomy around.
“Shixiong, my shixiong... you are the most precious thing I have... I, I can't imagine what my life would be like without you— this shidi can't even imagine how lonely he would be if shixiong didn't exist... if shixiong had discarded this weak shidi, if shixiong would not have looked after this shidi...”
But you can't open your mouth — even when you desperately want to, seeing how he lowers down his eyes and thick black eyelashes, like a rare beauty in a moment of sadness, from which you want to hug him tighter, letting him know that you will always protect him — but before you do or say anything bright eyes are looking at you again, like two lights in the dead of night.
“Shixiong... You know what I want to talk about, right?”
Of course you know,
and of course you would prefer to avoid this conversation as much as possible; his fingers easily wrap around your wrist, squeezing while the deceptively fragile body jerks forward, like a taut string waiting for the slightest tension to burst.
“You can't avoid this forever, shixiong... Just give me the answer...”
His eyes shine like the surface of a wide clear lake under the rays of an unbearably bright sun — for the first time, the smoke, as if coming from a bright fire, dissipates, allowing the flowers in his eyes to bloom, showing you everything inside him, as if the once black lake dispersed, and all that he used to hide dissolved in the waters.
And then they are filled with a golden luster, shining in the night like a liquid sun — and just as scorching when you hurriedly reach for his face, managing to touch one drop remaining on your fingers like wet pollen — only for SHI MEI to move away, wiping the drops with a trembling sleeve of clothes, soaking the fabric with a sparkle like a sparkle from the Tianwen, and even the pain that remains in you is felt even more acutely than the blows of the whip.
“Shixiong... Shixiong...”
How pathetic and plaintive his voice sounds, breaking and trembling, but at the same time making you feel butterflies, from which everything inside curled into a knot, finding something perversely beautiful in the way tears flowed from his shiny watery eyes, leaving golden lines on beautiful innocent face, while the fragile body trembling with sobs, which he tried to restrain, but could not.
Even his white sleeves, stained with gold spots, seemed for some reason to emphasize even more how soft and tender SHI MEI was, like a bud that had not yet blossomed, which was looking for you to survive.
“Why? Why?... Is it because I'm a demon? Is it because I'm weak?”
New sobs made him tremble while he pressed his hands to himself, almost curling up into a ball, as if hiding from you, afraid that you would hurt him even more.
“No, no, shidi, I- it's not...”
“Then why?!”
He asked in desperation, looking straight into your eyes while thick big tears flowed down his ruddy cheeks and nose.
“Why?! Why don't you want me?! Why are you rejecting me?! Why am I not good enough?! Why don't you want me?!”
Your hands react faster than you, desperately clutching the sobbing body to yourself; the rain intensifies, as if reacting to his tears, as if SHI MEI is that pure fairy who can influence nature itself with his emotions, innocent and gentle, and you can't help but hold him tightly to yourself, forcing him to open his hands and nuzzle his nose into your neck.
“I'm ashamed, I'm so ashamed... It's all my fault... It's my fault that you don't want me... It's my fault that you hate me... I'm so sorry, shixiong...”
He hiccups while muttering apologies and sobs indistinctly, accusing himself in a stinging voice, saying something hoarsely that he did not want such a fate and that he was not to blame, he did not want to, he really did not want to, — but in your head everything is drowning in streams of water and his voice.
“I'm so sorry that I can't protect you, shixiong... I'm so useless... I just want to bring peace to my kind, but I can't even protect you... I'm so pathetic, I'm so clumsy, I'm so useless, I'm so stupid, I'm so—”
What else can you do but hold him tight?
“No, no, shidi, you're wonderful, you're capable... It's okay, shidi, it's okay... shidi... I, I will always be there, shidi, please don't cry...”
The rain falls in a squall on the ground, destroying weak flowers and plants, like water knives falling from the sky, breaking on strong soil — and such a defenseless, weak, needing you shidi, looking for you because he never has anything but you, so strong but forced to look for a support, a bastion that could hide him — what can you do other than rock him, stroking him until his breathing becomes calm, while his face, ruddy from sobbing, rests cheek against your cloth wet with golden drops, finally finding peace, even if through his sleep you still hear him hiccup, trembling in your hands.
Your cute shidi.
Your precious shidi.
After all, what can you do? If he needs you, your help, what can you do? After all,
you are his shixiong.
When you fall asleep, leaning your back against the wall behind, still tightly but lovingly hugging the figure of your beloved pure shidi, SHI MEI can't resist enthusiastically, puppy-like rubbing against your shoulder, keeping himself from happy squeaking, squinting with pleasure.
If he had a tail, he would wag it, — but now his body is only slightly trembling while he tries not to move restlessly, trying to get as close to you as possible.
So that's your weak spot, huh?
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