#narrator so unreliable you don't even know who's narrating half the time

[lgbtlunaverse]

POV switches in chapter 108

This is generally me trying to figure out which parts of the novel are from wei wuxian's limited perspective and which ones are omniscient, as they switch pretty frequently and without warning. And also specifcally because @darkfalcon-z asked in a reply to a post I made earlier today!

Obvious disclaimer that this meta looks pretty closely into specific wording, and that my source remains a translation. I haven't read the original text and so can't attest to my accuracy there.

So MDZS gets real messy with its narration. It obviously starts in omniscient with celebrating Wei Wuxian's death, but spends a lot of its time in limited, most exemplary shown by the enduring obliviousness wei wuxians has towards lan wangji's feelings never being explicitly undercut by the narration.

The novel... does NOT telepgraph when it switches povs. Moreover, wei wuxian does sometimes make confident statement about how other characters feel. Prime example being him talking about how jiang cheng would react to finding out about his core

This being, notably... NOT what Jiang Cheng's actual reaction is when he does find out. That's because wwx is working with incomplete information here, he didn't know Jiang Cheng was willing to lose his core for him to begin with.

Also, he afformentioned obliviousness to Lan Wangji leading to him, multiple times, attributing the wrong motivations to lan wangji's actions.

The novel doesn't outright say "wei wuxian assumed/ thought that jiang cheng would react like that" in the screenshot above, but it DOES clearly show, by leading with him thinking about why he thought he coudn't tell jiang cheng about the golden core transfer, that we're in his head at the moment. And so the following statements are also his thoughts, not omniscient narrations. The difference is very subtle. But it's there

So we're in chapter 108. right before Lan Xichen stabs Jin Guangyao, an we're clearly in omniscient.

Lan Xichen's feelings are stated plainly and there's not very much focus on Wei wuxian at all. It switches over briefly to him and lwj checking up on Wen Ning but his feelings are not overriding everything else.

Then the stab happens

We're still in omniscient here. "Lan xichen felt his heart go cold" a detail Wei Wuxian couldn't know, stated plainly as a matter of fact.

However.

I think this part

Is where we retreat from omniscient back into wei wuxian's pov. We're not told anything about either of these character's inner worlds, but do get some extra litte commentary that jgy was so slow that even Jin Ling could catch him with his eyes closed! That's not something either Lan Xichen or jgy would be thinking of right now. It is, however, a comment Wei Wuxian's inner monologue might think to make.

In the context of my earlier post, which this was inspired by. It also makes some assumptions. Namely, that Xichen is just going after jgy to catch him. It doesn't explicitly say so, because we're not in omniscient anymore but it's clear Wei Wuxian thinks so as he'll feel the need to warn him in a few seconds. This is interesting, as it directly contradicts a popular fan interpretation of this scene, that's become explicitly canonized in multipe adaptations, which is that Lan Xichen is intentionally going along with and is willing to die with him. I'm not saying this theory is correct based on its popularity alone, obviously. I was actually surprised to find out it was so vague when I read the novel considering its popularity!

By the next chapter we'll be unambiguously back into wei uxian's head, and after "Lan Xichen could no longer persuade himself to silence him again" which is in the paragraph before the one in the image above, we are no longer told any other character's feelings or inner thoughts except for Wei Wuxian's. Specifically, this:

So this describes wei wuxian realizing a "something" what something? well, this something.

Again, the difference is subtle. The statement of "He was fighting with his last breath to lead Lan Xichen towards Nie Mingjue, so they could die together!" might seem like another one of those "other charcters' feelings" statements. But we're not IN Jin Guangyao's head right now. This is describing actions, not thoughts. He's not trying to get away (a visible action wwx would be privy to) which must be because...see statement above.

And all of this is framed under the banner of Wei Wuxian saying he realized something, and that being that Jin Guangyao isn't trying to get away and Lan Xichen needs to get away from him because... see statement above. This line basically starts as a repitition of what Wei Wuxian said, repeating his assumption, and then clarifying what Wei Wuxian DOES think is happening. The whole paragraph between is just buildup for the payoff of what that "something" of the realization is. MXTX could have writtern "wei wuxian, however, realized something. Jin Guangyao wasn't trying to get away! Instead he was trying to lead Lan Xichen towards Nie Mingjue so they could die together" and them describe the scenario, it'd be functionally the same in the manner of what information was conveyed, but the little gap in setup and payoff increases suspense and makes the reveal more engaging. It's a good little writing trick!

That wording above does make it way more obvious that that statement? Is one of wei wuxian's. That's what HE thinks.

In the line where jgy pushes lan xichen away, we're still not privy to their feelings or thoughts at all.

But we do get this curious litle "yet,"

That means this is a subversion, something that goes against what was previously established. Namely, that jin guangyao would want lan xichen to get caught by nie mingjue. The actual reality of the situaton conrasts hat we were told earlier. it's a surprise. to who? Well, to all the other characters watching this go down. wwx among them. We get other little commentaries, like how the sight of jgy being choked by nmj is frightening, placing us even further away from his inner world and into the shoes of someone watching him in the temple.

The style being used here is similar to the one in the next chapter, when nie huasang's plan is unveiled. First you get bit of dialogue with clear implications from Wei Wuxian, and then we go into wei wxuxian's head. In a few lines it's explicitly established that he's questioning things, and we are following his line of thought. And then a whle account of nie huasang's plan is given. With no further affirmation that we're still in wei wuxian's head. That's based on context clues given prior. Is this recount of the plan correct? Most likely, yeah! But we're never expicitly told. We are still in wei wuxian's head.

This bit on Jin Guangyao is similar. From the removal of stating other character's feelings (a possible exception might be the statement that "Nie Mingjue is not afraid of spiritual weapons" but that is something observable to wwx who's been seeing nmj not give a shit for a good few minutes now. We get nothing he's not privy to) and a clear indication that we're inside his head now. What we get next is his reocunt of the events, and they're fairly factul as he simply tells us what he sees, but when he gets into the reasons for why things ar ehappening? Well, if we wanted to, we could doubt that.

#mdzs #mdzs meta #wei wuxian #god perspective in this novel is EXHAUSTING #every writing advice blog and course i've ever seen is like DON'T SWITCH POVS MID SCENE IT'S CONFUSING #and mxtx took that as a personal challenge #narrator so unreliable you don't even know who's narrating half the time #apologies for not including alt text! it's midnight here and the site i'm using to get these screenshots doesn't allow me to copy-paste! #i'll add id tomorrow morning

[thetrashbagswasteland]

Today only from a card carrying member of the Castis Vakarian Appreciation Squad, a refresher on canon since there's a not-zero number of people in 2024 who seem blissfully unaware of how much we know about this man in canon (including andromeda yes the game is canon go cry about it).

He's a cop. Yes Castis works for C-Sec, implied within the same unit/building as Garrus and to the contrary of his son, is implied to be both good at his job and well-regarded for it. (This will be important for later points try to remember it.)

He has alien friends. Castis is canonically one of Alec Ryder's best friends. They're good enough friends that he passes on rumours/heresay about the Reapers to him and reminisces about spending time with him on the Citadel. Any turian old enough to have been an adult during the FCW and who has human friends as of canon prolly isn't a miserable old xenophobe. Whilst no, working at C-Sec doesn't exclude him from having shitty thoughts about Krogan and Quarians, it's a fairly good sign he's not anti-alien on the whole if he'll befriend a human.

He's got a personality. How dare minor characters have those! But more seriously, acting as if Castis is portrayed as nothing but a rule-worshipping automaton is doing him a disservice. If nothing else, his willingness to befriend and hang out with Alec, who's very much of the opinion that rules are guidelines to be circumvented when at all possible, shows that he's capable of nuance and maybe even a dash of line-pushing of his own accord. Maybe he's comfortable within the system and trusts law and order as set out legally above all else but c'mon guys, you don't hang out with a guy who goes on to break AI law and get dishonourably discharged (and then remain friends with him after that when it's made damned clear few others do) without being able to see shades of grey.

He trusts his son. This one I suspect may be more contentious BUT let's be honest here, Garrus isn't an easy person to be around. We hear about the pair of them clashing on the job and within their personal lives about the spectres but here's the thing: Garrus winds up on a secretive mission with a human and xenophobic terrorist group, after running off to a lawless hellscape to play batman. He remains distant until done working with Cererbus and then returns home with a crazy tale about a dead human spectre, genocidal robots from the year dot and half his face missing. Castis not only believes him but does so willingly enough that he does everything he can to help him get the news to the right people, just in case he's right. Equally, whilst we don't have an exact date for when the call with Alec occurs, it's post-start of ME1 at the very least and within that he's already willing to take what Garrus is saying Shepard says at face value. Within that call, it's made patently obvious that no matter what, he still trusts Garrus on some level and is proud of him on top of that trust.

He cares deeply for the people around him. Perhaps this one's linked with 3 but whatever, my post, my rules; in the comics, the picture we're painted by (unreliable narrator) Garrus is that of a driven, cold man who doesn't care enough about his own family. This is why he doesn't come home when Mama Vakarian gets hurt, we're told, and we're expected to take that as face value even when she herself says that by the time he can get away from work and be back there, she'll be mostly healed. Kinda contrasted by the fact that he seemingly retires/takes time off from C-Sec to be with his wife when she's dying. Now, the details are kinda fuzzy on the whys and hows but during ME3, he and Solana escape Palaven together. Maybe the war's going poorly enough that they're able to finagle staying together through the draft, maybe they come across one another purely by luck, we don't know. Either way, rather than attempt to get back to the Citadel and to where he presumably still had a job and/or was needed, he sticks with his daughter. Can't do anything more to help his son but he's gonna stick with at least one of his kids to make sure she survives. As well as all this, the "do things properly or don't do them at all" lesson Garrus struggles with from him is (gasp) not bad advice for their situation. He's trying to teach his son important life skills and whilst there's no denying he's going about it wrong, a key point is in fact that Garrus learns to master the gun he's struggling to fire and it in fact becomes one of his specialities! He becomes an exceptionally good marksman! The lesson fucking worked! He still, regardless of the reasons for it, seems to support and be content with Garrus not fulfilling his mandatory 15 but instead joining C-Sec and (worse still) doesn't have too much of an issue with him consorting with Spectres. Perhaps he's not best pleased but he definitely comes to accept that that's how things are irrespective of his own feelings about them as either a concept or as people (his belief that Garrus being a spectre would be a terrible no good very bad idea is, in fact, backed up by canon as being entirely correct too).

Conclusion/TL:DR. Take a lesson from Castis Vakarian himself here, either write about this man properly or don't write him at all, I'm begging y'all. There's an awful lot more to this character if you think about him and put together the information canon gives us on him, so do so.

#meta #character analysis #Castis Vakarian #garrus vakarian #turian #shakarian #also yeah MEA which gave us a canon name for him came out in 2017. Y'all have had 7 years to learn his name even if you had named him prior #do better.

[victimsofyaoipoll]

Round 3

Propaganda Under Cut

Kairi

kairi is the third protagonist of the kingdom hearts series and the third member of the destiny trio, alongside fan favorites sora and riku. sora/riku shippers HATE kairi, and will go out of their way to discount her at every turn. the hate for her ranges from typical "she's a boring bitch" to fans of soriku making five-hour long video essays reassuring their fellow shippers that the big bad kairi won't show up in the next installment – to quote one video, "she's in a box. she's on the shelf. four walls, no door." kairi is the greatest bogeyman the soriku fandom has ever known, to the point where most of said video essays and fanon meta posts focus not on why sora and riku should get together, but rather on why they don't like kairi.

Literally has a 100+ page Google doc fan theory writing her out of the narrative and putting all of her (few) canonical accomplishments onto half of the popular m/m ship (soriku). Don't even get me started on how her memory was completely written out of the canon plot of re:coded. KH is a nightmare to explain so dude trust me she is THE victim of yaoi

She is so fundamental to the plot and themes and narratives of game and yet it is near impossible to find anything about her thats not ship bashing pre-mlm with the other two characters. I dont even care if she ends up with one of the main characters i just want fans to see her as a cool character to love or like, anything other than “annoying comphet girl.” You can write your mlm but pleaae stop inventing comphet where it doesnt exist. She does not even get to spend time with sora ever?? Why does everyone see her as a threat and a thing to destroy?? Let her have friends so help me

Misa Amane

she gets treated in-canon the way fandoms treat female characters that Threaten an m/m ship. it's like, "oh why don't you go sit in the corner and be pretty, misa, while the Men have intelligent conversation and pretend they aren't ten seconds from fucking each other, doesn't that sound nice?" it's infuriating. and MAYBE it's better now but i remember her getting treated the same way in fanfiction too, like we all need to do just as badly by our female secondary characters as fucking tsugumi ohba, but with the added insult of making her be alternately oblivious of the relationship between light and L or actively trying to sabotage it—incompetently, of course, because god forbid misa be allowed dignity or moments of cleverness.

she's one of the first characters I think of when I consider old school fandom misogyny. The annoying bitch and clingy crazy gf allegations were AFTER HER ASS. She's also a lot more intelligent than people gave her credit for, but most seem inclined to take the Very Biased word of our unreliable, narcissistic narrator and his homoerotic arch nemesis and claim that just because she's bubbly and into romance that she's also a complete moron. Which is blatantly untrue. Everyone was afraid of Misa girlbossing too hard. Killing people and devoting yourself to the deranged twink of your dreams even though you know he'll never love you back??? Having a hardcore goth aesthetic and being so Hot even literal Death Gods are into you?? God forbid women do ANYTHING!

Not only is she the victim of yaoi culture, she is the victim of early 2000s misogyny by an author that wanted to introduce a girl character because he knew his male rivals were getting too homoerotic. She is a goth bimbo icon who portrays what I think is one of the few callouts for stan culture and what parasocial relationships can do to both the stan and the idol. The fact that she is a toxic fan of Kira and also hot, funny, sociable is tragic in its own way, which I think the author did try to touch on but was too misogynistic too really get through. Of course, she was reduced to villain status by the fandom and anime alike because she got in the way of the supposed romance in their psychological horror anime.

#round 3 #poll #kairi kingdom hearts #kh kairi #kairi #kingdom hearts #misa amane #misa misa #death note

[poorlittleyaoyao]

An Exhaustive Explanation For Why Qin Su Took Her Life Of Her Own Volition

(Or: For God's Sake, Please Just Let Her Have This One Thing)

Okay, so let's leave aside the fact that Wei Wuxian is an unreliable narrator. At the point in the novel at which he insists that Jin Guangyao must have forced Qin Su to kill herself somehow, Wei Wuxian has also insisted that Lan Wangji would totally hate it if he knew they'd made out while drunk. Let's also leave aside that Wei Wuxian himself will reassess his opinion of Qin Su's death later on, and IIRC says nothing about it either way in the drama, because the people who insist that JGY Definitely Killed Made Her Do That sure do. A narrator being unreliable doesn't mean we can't trust anything they tell us, after all; it just means we need to compare their views to outside evidence, the way you would with a primary source document.

AND WHEN YOU DO THAT

IT STILL MAKES ZERO SENSE

Picture all this from Jin Guangyao's standpoint. Let's assume for funsies that you don't care about your wife who is also your half-sister, and have no compunctions about killing her to keep the incest secret. Wouldn't you just... do that? Wouldn't you kill her the second that little paperman flies away and you hear the alarm?

"He obviously couldn't do that! The paperman saw her alive so it'd be weird if she suddenly was gone!" Yeah, and everyone at the cultivation conference saw her alive when they came into the treasure-and-torture room, and it would be even weirder if she suddenly stabbed herself to death in front of them.

"Ah, but he needed to know who sent her the letter! He can't afford to kill her!" Wow, hey, that's right! You, Evil Jin Guangyao, have just spent the preceding scene wheedling and then threatening Qin Su so she'll tell you who send the letter, and she stood firm the whole time! So forcing her to kill herself in front of everyone when she still hasn't told you that important piece of information would be PRETTY DUMB, wouldn't it? (Almost as dumb as giving her the opportunity to interact with all the people you're trying to keep the secret from, but hey, maybe it took you longer to hide da-ge's head than anticipated.)

"Maybe he'd given up on getting her to tell him anything so her killing herself was to divert suspicion away from him!" Okay, first of all, how is "your wife (whom nobody but you has seen recently) kills herself with no warning" going to make things look LESS suspicious? Second of all, things were going JUST FINE. You hid da-ge's head. People were buying your "this cursed cabinet is where I keep my former boss's soul-stealing knife" story. You haven't even subtly brought up Suibian to change the subject. The narrative misogyny means that nobody has directly talked to Qin Su and "of course my wife also hangs out in our house, lol" is flying just fine as an explanation. You had almost put out this fire! Why would you throw gasoline on it by making Qin Su kill herself?

Honestly, the smartest thing for you to do in this situation would be to knock your wife unconscious and move her to her sleeping chambers or a couch or something in the main part of the palace. That gets her out of sight and renders her unable to talk in a way that won't raise suspicions, and gives you the option of going "omg guyyys my wife is sleeping :( this totally unwarranted search of our home is gonna wake her up :(" to make people leave!

But, okay. Let's shift our perspectives here. Jin Guangyao has a history of making deranged choices when he's in Panic Mode. Maybe his brain short-circuited and, somehow, he decided that MAKE QIN SU KILL HERSELF IN PUBLIC was the best course of action. Wei Wuxian himself tells us that she wasn't under the influence of talismans or anything, so somehow Jin Guangyao convinced her to do this with his words. Never mind that we just saw Jin Guangyao deploy an ungodly combination of feigned ignorance, gaslighting, actual sincerity, veiled threats, and manipulation with zero impact. Somehow, he used his words successfully.

What could he possibly say?

Picture all this, now, from Qin Su's standpoint. Your entire world has been shattered. Your husband who is also your half-brother has been lying to you for your entire marriage, has done nothing to reassure you that he didn't murder your son, and has sealed your meridians to prevent you from fleeing. He then brought you into a secret room in your home that you didn't know existed and which, you discover, houses his sworn brother's severed head. All you know is that you cannot tell Jin Guangyao who gave you the letter because you're certain that he will have her killed. Shit's real fucked and you have nobody to help you.

Now every sect leader in the jianghu--including your husband's remaining sworn brother, your young nephew, and your nephew's maternal uncle--has shown up to search your husband's home. His top priority in this moment is quashing their suspicions so they leave him alone enough to regroup.

One of three things must be true for you.

1.) Your top priority is survival. You don't want to die. If you care about your reputation, you know that you're as screwed as he is if word of this gets out, and unfortunately the only way to survive is to play along with your husband's weird shit, at least for now. In that case, the best way to assure him that you're on his team is to help him assure the other sect leaders that Everything Is Normal And Fine. If you don't want to die, then you're not going to be susceptible to any insistence that you kill yourself.

2.) You're so furious that you don't care what happens to you or your reputation as long as you take Jin Guangyao down with you. In that case, you'd tell him whatever he wanted to hear and then IMMEDIATELY scream to the other sect leaders where Nie Mingjue's head is currently located, or you'd drop the incest bomb yourself hoping that the paperman is somewhere in that room and can back you up, or you'd grab that dagger and stab your husband, or some combination of all three! You're not going to quietly kill yourself at his request, because you've suffered enough for his bullshit!

"Well, maybe he didn't threaten her. She's going to be worried about Bicao and her father. Maybe he threatened one of them!" Yeah, maybe, but that's a threat to get someone to cooperate. You can't make sure they're still alive if you're dead! And if you're convinced that this guy has lied to you constantly for the past 10+ years, you're not going to believe him when he says"kill yourself and I'll be niceys to them." There is nothing at all that he could say to make her harm herself if she hadn’t been so inclined.

And that leaves

3.) You're in such despair that you actively want to die. You can never trust your husband again. You can never trust anyone again, honestly, because he wasn't the only person you loved who kept this secret from you. You don't trust that the other sect leaders will do anything to help you, just as your mother didn't trust that anyone would do anything to help her all those years ago. (When they barge into the palace and walk straight past you as though you were a piece of furniture, your distrust is confirmed.) Maybe, despite everything, you still love your husband too much to kill him. Maybe you fear that, without evidence, he will be seen as an innocent victim and you will be seen as his mad, murderous wife. Maybe you don't care what happens to anyone else, but you know that you don't want to deal with this anymore, and you are the only one you trust to help yourself escape it.

The tragedy of Qin Su is that she is never permitted to make a fully informed decision about her life. At least let her final action be something she knowingly chooses.

#qin su #jin guangyao #should be obvious but this is about novel and drama canons #in this house we do not acknowledge the donghua #mannn what if I made something with that one cassius quote. what then. #that said an IDEAL outcome would be her haunting the shit out of him and then out of everyone else bc THEY CONTRIBUTED #she's not trapped in a dagger she's having a Lucy Gray Baird moment ALEXA PLAY 'YOU CAN'T CATCH ME NOW' BY OLIVIA RODRIGO

[cleolinda]

(For our purposes, listen to it without the visuals first.)

I wasn't going to keep posting about Unreal Unearth, but something happened yesterday.

It's been five months since I first heard this song, and I'm still astonished by it. You know the tiktok skit about the Star Wars wedding music, and the guy is grooving along until the Imperial Death March filters in, and then he's kind of alarmed, like, wha—? And then he realizes it slaps anyway and he keeps dancing? That is "Eat Your Young."

It's the morning of March 17th. The EP with the first three singles from the new album has dropped. I've got my phone blasting the song on the bathroom counter, I don't understand half what the man is saying nor did I expect to, I'm cheerfully mumbling along in the shower, grooving along,

wait they did what for a war drum

Get some Pull up the ladder when the flood comes Throw enough rope until the legs have swung Seven new ways that you can eat your young Come and get some Skinning the children for a war drum Putting food on the table selling bombs and guns It's quicker and easier to eat your young

What the fuck, this song goes so hard. That's the chorus. The conceit of the whole album is that it loosely follows Dante's Inferno, so this is the third circle of hell, gluttony. Hozier himself says that he wasn't specifically thinking of Jonathan Swift's A Modest Proposal—

“I don’t know how intentional the reference to Jonathan Swift was in this. That essay [Swift’s 1729 satirical essay A Modest Proposal in which he suggests the Irish poor sell their children as food] is such a cultural landmark that it’s just hanging in the air. I was more reflecting on what I felt now in this spirit of the times of perpetual short-term gain and a long-term blindness. The increasing levels of precarious living, poverty, job insecurity, rental crisis, property crisis, climate crisis, and a generation that’s inheriting all of that and one generation that’s enjoyed the spoils of it. The lyrics are direct, but the voice is playful. There’s this unreliable narrator who relishes in this thing which was fun to write.” [Apple Music album notes]

��and I believe him. The song's not a suggestion, a proposal; it's an invitation to atrocity in progress. I also believe he probably wasn't thinking of Greta Thunberg's iconic speech at the UN Climate Action Summit, not specifically, but that's what I hear in the song, like the flip side of a coin:

You have stolen my dreams and my childhood with your empty words. And yet I'm one of the lucky ones. People are suffering. People are dying. Entire ecosystems are collapsing. We are in the beginning of a mass extinction, and all you can talk about is money and fairy tales of eternal economic growth. How dare you! [...] You say you hear us and that you understand the urgency. But no matter how sad and angry I am, I do not want to believe that. Because if you really understood the situation and still kept on failing to act, then you would be evil.

I feel like on some level, even coincidentally, "Eat Your Young" is the answer to the question, what would you sound like if you were that evil? Who would you be? I can think of a dozen possibilities just off the top of my head or looking around my blog, from something as petty as studio executives mangling trees to deprive striking workers of shade (while hoping they lose their homes), all the way up to the US school-to-prison pipeline. The National Rifle Association keeps politicians in its pocket while the US has more mass shootings than days in a year, Nestlé fucks shit up around the world as a way of life, even ChatGPT sucks up water while threatening jobs—and for what? And yet, I promise you most of these things weren't the inspiration for an Irishman’s song—some of them hadn't even happened yet. There's just that much fresh You Would Be Evil to go around. I am certain that Hozier wrote the song partly about (as one article puts it) "Ireland's housing crisis: Millennials, a generation sacrificed," given that time back in the day when he helped occupy a building—a housing crisis happening in multiple countries. There's so much of the world I'm not touching on. I can stuff a paragraph with links and it's utterly inadequate.

I haven't even mentioned war.

There's an overwhelming sense this decade of the future being fed into a meat grinder. That sense is in this song. What would it sound like to be in the head of someone who didn't give a shit about anything but profit? Well, it might sound like this.

And if you haven't heard it, well—I'm going to sound absolutely out of my mind after saying all that, but "Eat Your Young" has a beat and you can dance to it. It's sexy. And I'm certain that's on purpose. You get seduced into the sound of it, as if by something demonic, something that enjoys sucking down the future and is not going to stop. And the sheer fucking catchiness of the song keeps you listening to it—thinking about it—when maybe you push away the dry headlines we get everyday. If you let this song stay in your head, it becomes a lens. Five months later, I still think about it when I read the news. Maui was on fire and tourists stayed. Within days, the prospect of developers swooping in to buy up land reared its head. If there's something still to take, there is ground to break, whatever's still to come. Get some.

I was born in 1978 —I'm late Gen X. In my forties, I'm young enough to worry about the future still; I’m neither so rich that I can just plan to retire to Mars, nor so old that I can know I'll be safely gone before the world might go up in flames. But I'm also not my nephew, whose school year just started back up, or the neighborhood kids who race him home down the sidewalk in the afternoons. Yesterday, he had his very first mass-shooter lockdown drill. He’s six.

I think music can put the feeling back into numb fingers, and I think that's why "Eat Your Young" works so well—Hozier calls the song fun and playful, and I think you have to have that, something you can live with rather than just switch off for your own mental survival. We need music to feed spirit at protests; we need something to keep our feet moving. Don’t give up, don't close your eyes and slip away. Those kids, they have dreams we could try to steal back for them.

Since I mentioned Maui:

Why Hawaiian sovereignty has undeniable context for the Maui fires

The Climate Crisis and Colonialism Destroyed My Maui Home. Where We Must Go From Here

How You Can Donate and Help Support Maui Communities Right Now

The Maui Strong Fund

#music #music discussion #hozier #long post #eat your young #Spotify

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Not sure if this theory makes any sense at all but I'm starting to believe that there's no time skip between Wally's phone calls and what we see/hear in the show's Media/Merchandise. If we see the Toyland call being made before the Homewarming episode then it would make sense that Wally's expecting Barnaby to come over soon. As well as the Homewarming sketch from the prior update. (I don't know, still kind of brainstorming this perspective)

that theory Does make sense and i've been considering it! the "timeline" is such a nebulous thing right now because we still... don't really know! there are too many variables and too many Maybes for any solid answer.

maybe the reality that the neighbors live in exists outside of time like you say, and like half of me suspects. there's so much reality fuckery already present, but I'm also... unsure of how much merit this holds given what we know / can infer about how time passes in Home. i'm putting this theory on a low shelf to look at but not prioritize

maybe it really has been 50 years, and Barnaby is either still around / Wally is still in contact with him, or Barnaby... isn't there. who knows, maybe Wally was just verbalizing some Wishful Thinking. i mean, Wally is a bit of an unreliable narrator, isn't he? we can't assume that everything he says is entirely accurate or truthful. and i mean, if it's been 50 years it makes sense that Wally would be pushing for connection / to revive WH. who knows how long he's been trying.

hm... i mean. it could be a mix of that and the Outside Of Time theory. who knows, maybe W is receiving calls from different points in the timeline - Wally may have started out just calling, and has just graduated to invading the WH website / getting pushy with the envelopes and media that's been sent to the WHRP. maybe Wally got tired of waiting for W to respond before W was even born. who's to say!

#i mean. idk the emphasis wally puts on Its So Quiet makes my brain tilt its head #it feels like wally breaking composure before he pastes the Facade back on with '-during homewarming' #that and just the way he phrased 'everyones usually so busy so its just me and home for a long while' #Usually so busy. Usually. why not Always? or Is? #usually. #and then the 'its just me and home for a long while' #the phrasing here has Connotations i think! #homebogging #welcome home speculation #wh speculation #OF COURSE. I HAVE TO DEBUNK MYSELF! #what we hear / see from Wally is - ironically - more genuine than the WHRP's or W's recovered media (save the eddie excerpts) #the WH media shows us the ideal homewarming - where everyone is getting into the spirit and spending time together and the like #but then wally could be telling us what homewarming is Really like - lonely. quiet. #WHICH MAKES SENSE THEMATICALLY! and it mirrors how christmas time is. its marketed as this joyful thing that brings people together #when in reality its lonely and stressful. i know i certainly never feel more lonely than i do at that time of year! #so there's just. layers. right now im simultaneously believing in the time discrepancy And them existing outside of time #im leaning on the first one but you know! #BUT!!! IM CONFIDENT THAT THE HOMEWARMING WALLY WAS CALLING FROM WAS NOT THE ONE WE SAW IN THE UPDATE. #wally spoke with enough familiarity about the time of year to make me think 'hes lived through many of these hasnt he' #it could be that time Has passed for the neighbors and its been many homewarmings. #it could be that it Started as what the commercials/update showed us. #but as time passed maybe it became a time where everyone just... Isolates for one reason or another. so now it's just quiet and lonely #im still rolling it all around in my head! many factors and implications to consider w/ this update! #Take All Of This With A Grain Of Salt As Usual!

[princessofmerchants]

Nesta, Bryce, the Mask, and the aftermath - HOFAS chs. 76-77 and the Ember bonus chapter

HOFAS spoilers after the break (this is a long one, lol)

I had an overwhelmingly positive reaction to HOFAS chs. 76-77 when Nesta gives Bryce the Mask, and the Ember / BAM bonus chapter when we see the aftermath on the Prythian side of things. It was fascinating to get on Tumblr and see all the negative reactions on all sides to this set of scenes.

Starting with the bonus chapter, I agree with others (@aelin-godkiller, @myfriendscallmeraba, @maddieimhot) that it is written in character for every person in it.

I'll start with Cassian, because the negative reaction to him in this set of scenes was the most confusing for me. Post-ACOSF, Cassian is one half of a healthy functional romantic partnership and mate pairing with Nesta. These two do not always agree. They learned in ACOSF how to disagree in a healthy manner and how to apologize when it is warranted, and for passionate people like these two, that can happen often. On page in the bonus chapter, Cass is exactly in character as both Nesta's mate (his "Rhys…" makes it clear he thinks his High Lord is emotionally overreacting) and as the General of the Night Court Armies (the fact that he doesn't make an argument to Rhys for Nesta in support of her decision is right in line with this for me).

The only part of the bonus that gave me a pang in relation to Nessian was when Nesta says to Ember that her Mate may be the most angry at her of all, but if that's even the case, I don't think that's because of the potential consequences of the decision Nesta made, but because she made it alone and failed to rely on those around her with complementary power and knowledge to hers. I also think Nesta's comment to Ember is residual evidence of her ongoing struggle with her anxiety... In reality, I'm pretty sure Rhys is more angry about what she did than Cass, y'all. But I also think, just like in ACOSF, Nesta is sometimes an unreliable narrator when it comes to thinking those who love her most are specifically and pointedly mad at her. As a fellow anxiety sufferer, this tracks. And the fact that during the later HOFAS scene when Bryce returns the Mask, Cassian is sitting with Nesta clearly holding no grudges or anger toward his mate (but you bet Rhysand is probably still freaking out somewhere over the Mask being in Midgard with the Asteri, and reasonably so!), tells you Nesta may have been projecting her own worry and even regret onto her mate, the one in the Night Court Inner Circle she is closest to and thus most vulnerable with.

The bonus is also 100% in character for Rhysand, as many have pointed out. I was honestly dying to see Rhys's reactions to Bryce's kind of bizarre, almost aggressively Fae exit from Prythian at the end of "The Drop," so having him bear down on the scene between Nesta and Bryce was peak entertainment for me. But then if we cut to the bonus scene, in Ember's POV we get a Rhysand who is reacting to the possible consequences of a Trove item potentially reaching the hands of the Asteri, by the hand of one with another Trove item in her back that can open the portal between their worlds. I don't disagree with him that this is a huge risk, and as a new father he's probably in protective fight or flight mode all the time.

The thing I think is beautifully in character for Rhys here is the familial development we see between him and Nesta. I don't read this exchange as some kind of regression to their pre-ACOSF animosity. I read it as two family members having more of a family fight than a fight over strategy. In my reading, Rhys is in fact having an emotionally vulnerable response to what just happened, and I think he knows it and is allowing it because Nesta is now family and allowed to see those parts of him. The problem I have always had with Rhys is not that he is messy and imperfect, but it's when those traits play out alongside the fact that he is politically and magically one of the most powerful beings in their world. In a strange way, though, his argument with Nesta that Ember observes is shaped incredibly and beautifully by their developed relationship as brother- and sister-in-law. He is angry and upset but he doesn't throw her into a dungeon, he engages her and shows all his cards in doing so - something he never does with a real enemy.

And, I also read Rhys's emotional reaction in another way which may or may not be a popular reading: Rhys is also throwing a tantrum because his sister-in-law is a power player at his level in the magical conflict that spans from Prythian to other worlds. As a leader who has never had anyone challenge him at that level except perhaps pre-ACOWAR Amren, it's a situation that he is probably still adjusting to. Rhys can't just remove Nesta as a threat, both because she is his sister-in-law and more importantly because she wields powerful magic (that he does not have himself - again, this is the grating part for him I think) as both a resident of the Night Court and mate to his General. And because Rhys isn't on top in all the ways any longer in the way magic shapes events in the Night Court and beyond, he loses it. And I found it very realistic and some of my favorite on-page Rhys material I have read since he plummeted in my esteem in ACOFAS.

Nesta is also in character for me in these scenes, both the HOFAS chapters and the bonus. We see in her words and actions both the (previously) human part of her as well as the Fae warrior part of her. She vacillates between being confident and being chastened, and I think both traits are healthy for her, and more or less in balance across the scenes. While I would have loved the exchange with Bryce to be less rushed, because this is a CC book I understand why it was paced the way it was.

(And again, the drama of Rhys bearing down on them with his Lord of Darkness and Night drama flying across Velaris, while Nesta and Bryce discussed and then traded off the Mask, was peak entertainment for me. Nesta also almost made the decision to stall long enough to wait for Rhys and make the whole thing his problem and not hers - I loved that glimpse we saw of her considering that too! That she decided instead to act, I think, was because she probably logicked that Rhys would openly battle Bryce on sight, and Nesta would have calculated that would not be in the best interest of both worlds given what she knew of the Asteri threat from her time under the Prison with Bryce and Azriel.)

And finally, Ember is in fact the queen of the bonus chapter for me. My biggest frustration when I came on Tumblr after reading HOFAS was how every reading of the bonus chapter centered the freaking males in the sequence of scenes, when if as a reader you don't make this about the IC and their dynamics, in my reading in this bonus chapter SJM was telling an important story between two women: Ember and Nesta.

This was a bonus chapter about how amazing of a mother Ember is (because her daughter is the FMC of this book, about to go save Midgard, so learning more about Bryce's mother helps us understand Bryce better), and SJM rightly realized putting her in the same room as post-ACOSF Nesta, whose mother was the opposite of Ember, was the perfect way to showcase this. That Rhys came along and added some drama was la di da for me and utterly secondary to what passes between Ember and Nesta.

The final thing I'll say is, the part of chs. 76-77 that bothers me the most is not anything in the scene itself, but the high expectation it set for the final conflict with the Midgard Asteri and how that expectation was not met satisfactorily for me. I did like the "Death / Not Death" filter Bryce experienced when wearing the Mask, and I also liked that Nesta's mental-emotional struggles while wearing the Mask were not universal to all wearers of it... But, the raising-the-dead magic was not consistent and was mostly vibes in the way Bryce manages to use the Mask to raise the Fallen. The whole thing with their wings attaching to the mech suits, and also how their command to do her bidding stuck even after she removed the Mask.....yea, that was a let down.

The Trove had such rich inner logic in ACOSF. I hope that logic returns when we get to ACOTAR5, and that the Mask as a Deus Ex Machina winds up being specific to Bryce's whole Magical Starborn Princess Powers schtick. The Mask is way more threatening to the wearer in Prythian than it seemed to be in Midgard, and I like that version of the Mask better.

#hofas spoilers #post hofas discussion #nesta archeron #bryce quinlan #ember quinlan #nessian #cassian #rhysand #hofas #hofas bonus chapter #house of flame and shadow #dread trove #acosf #a court of silver flames #sarah j maas

[shawol-lisa-lee9]

TSC has been in my greedy hands for almost 48 hours now, and I managed to read it two and a half times already.

So many things to say about it, so little words I have to be able to do that. So, first of all

1) "Neil is such an unreliable narrator" not true, but can we talk about how Jean is just as much as "unreliable", but in a very different way? In the first three books we had a boy who cared so little about anything that wasn't exy (or Andrew) that he just didn't know/notice/cared enough to even acknowledge important things. In TSC we have a boy who knows SO LITTLE about anything in the World after being isolated for such a long time, that he sees everything through a distorted lens, and even when facts are right in front of him he just doesn't get it. They are not unreliable, they were forcefully taught to focus on things different than the whole picture.

2) Jean to me is so much a mixture of kevandreil it hurts me. He went through so much and yet gained so little it hurts. He has the same desperate will to live as Neil, the same "do what you want to me but keep X out of this" as Andrew (+ a lot of traumas), he has so many mental issues only Kevin can understand and a similar attitude. This not to say he's not "original", he's a very different person from the original trio, but he just... Has all of it. He combines other's main visible issues in one single person and it just hurts to see how much he's hurting but still wants and needs to carry on.

3) Neil X Jean scene at the end hits too hard on my heart. I do not presume to know exactly what my Goddess Nora was attempting to do with that, but my mind has found multiple possibilities on why Neil did what he did, and after all the times I read AFTG (which now amount to at least 35 rereads in a span of 3 years) only one has managed to grab my heart and never leave it. So, the main ones:

- As Jean thinks, Neil took care of Grayson because he is valuable in Ichirou's eyes, so Neil felt the need to protect Jean.

- Neil is aware of what Jean went through and is human enough to care for him, now that he knows he's not just a dick, and is willing to make sure Jean feels safe.

- Neil, being the person he is and having seen what Drake did to Andrew's mind, is not going to let Grayson do the same to anyone, especially someone he knows. As someone said here on Tumblr, "Neil is not gonna let a rapist alive if he can".

As I've come to understand the characters, for the first one, not even Neil is that cold that would just care about a person if they are valuable enough to him. In the second hypothesis, Neil is not the type of guy to just care that much about someone outside the foxes lot, but it's still a realistic idea, considering what Jean did for him in TRK. Third scenario, the most realistic and authentic one to me, he's not willing to let anyone get away with forcing themselves on another, even less if it's someone he knows and can do something about it. Which is also the reason why I'm obsessed with this scene and I would pay gold to see it in Neil's pov even when I know it's not possible.

4) Last point for this useless rant, CAN WE TALK ABOUT WYMACK? I swear to god that man is my absolute nightmare (in a good way), I just can't get over how much of a saint he is with those idiotic children he cares for + Jean. I just love him so much. He is rude and raw and can't be truly nice to save his life, but he cares, he cares about them with all his soul and he's not going to leave them alone when they need a helping hand the most.

I kind of wish coach Rhemann was like him, but at the same time I don't because a) if he was he would probably be at PSU, and b) I want him to be a completely different kind of dad to his boys and girls. (but I'm still going to cry on all of his scenes because that man is just too much for me (and for Jean), understanding but not pushing, being respectful of boundaries and "This was the belligerent stare of a man who’d haul Lucas out of there by force if Jean indicated he didn’t want to be alone with him.". )

So, yeah. I'm probably going to read it a third time tonight.

#all for the game #the sunshine court #neil josten #andrew minyard #kevin day #jean moreau #david wymack #tsc spoilers #tsc

[venusssssssssss]

I rewatched ep 10 here are some thoughts:

We knew Jin took the video but he is an unreliable narrator, I don’t think he leaked it even if he said he did. Someone else leaked it but who? It would be such lazy writing because we, the audience, already saw Jin had Twitter on white mode and the video was leaked by someone who had dark mode. Why would the writers miss something so obvious? Anyway.

I understand Phee’s POV (if he’s being truthful): he did not sign up for murder nor did he know what he was really getting into. It’s also a very human thing to fall in love again and I liked that they played this card as well (not because I care for this ship or for any other ship tbh but because it such an earthling thing to do. “I love you despite of it all & i fell for you even though this started as a lie & we are both flawed & we are both guilty” bla bla bla. Love it and I will eat it up each time) Phee in this case plays the role of some of the audience (an important part of the audience is on New/Tan’s side regardless, while the rest is thinking this is too much and he needs to be stopped. There are also people who see them as simply gray characters and think that none are pure and aren’t taking any sides because they think it's pointless, but the writers don’t care about them imo. They want the first two categories to fight in the trenches about who’s right and who’s wrong and miss important details along the way - because we want so badly for some characters to deserve what they are getting).

White. We don’t know who White is and it’s been 10 episodes. This is supposed to be a slasher/thriller/murder mystery and the writers made sure we love him and hate his boyfriend Tee. But the actors said in several interviews that White is very similar to Tee and also described him as vain. Now why did they do that? The writers made sure the audience hate Tee. Now that could mean 1000 things. Maybe they are playing into the narrative: White is a colateral victim, Tee was a shitty kid but a kid too who was the product of the very bad adults around him & although he is flawed look how much he loves White. They already gave us fluffy flashbacks episode with PheeNon & Pheejin. Are we getting another one with TeeWhite this late in the show? I don’t think so. White remained spotless ‘till now but I feel a twist coming. He is probably related to someone very important or withholds some very important information from us, the audience. Are they gonna explain to us White and Phee’s little moment in the beginning of the show? That had to mean something. Some people say White is just a colateral victim. Because we saw already that New doesn’t care if people who weren’t directly involved die. So I see why people believe that as well. But White is one of the main characters so I don’t think he is just a damsel in distress.

Phee is also an unreliable narrator. He thinks New did all that but he doesn’t know all the details. Phee at this point knows less than the audience and is showing us what he thinks is true. What we saw half of this episode is what Phee thinks happened, but New is telling the audience nothing so we can't be sure.

New never trusted Phee. He already warned him 2 years ago, he already saw how his dynamic with Jin would play out, he predicted a lot of his moves, he used him but did not tell his real plan (and why would he? New wants the world to burn he has no time for feelings).

More people are going (and need) to die because this is a slasher. They have 2 episodes to kill pretty much everyone and I wanna be entertained. I want this to go out with a bang.

Also this is just my opinion and burning desire but i want a big reveal. I don't want the big reveal to be that Tan is New because it wasn't a big reveal for the audience (who already saw it coming) and it surely was not a big reveal to the other characters involved.

#i might be wrong about everything i am watching this show for entertainment and it s a thriller/slasher so i want to be entertained #dff #dead friend forever #dead friend forever the series #dff ep 10 #dff the series

[got-ticket-to-ride]

Wanted to know your thoughts on this, but for what I've reading on John it really looks to me he really got worse post Paul and post Beatles, like his saddest songs match the moment he started to have issues with Paul, he wasn't really having much contact with anyone outside Yoko, he wasn't doing much music, he wasn't being that funny either, he even died without being able to fully overcome his heroine addiction (addiction that started in the Beatles fall out right?), and idk i believe his involvement in the whole peace/art movement looked more like an escape (like some people do with religion) than actual interest.

So what you think, was John at his worst after he got out the band and cut his relationship with Paul or was it was always like that?

Hello @lord-pain

thank you for this ask! I hope I'll make sense. I think the White Album was definitely the start of John's "sad songs". Happiness is a Warm Gun, Yer Blues. Subsequently, Dig a Pony sounded so desperate to me and Because which is yeah, post India, post breakup?

There's so many different accounts during that period. Some narrators might be unreliable because you never know who these "historians/journalist/"acquaintances" have their allegiance to.

During the 70s it was said that John was miserable, became a violent drunk (who believed in astrology). He was quite unhappy with how things turned out in his life due to his choices but he was too proud to admit it.

About drugs, Fred Seaman said John stopped with heroin in the last half of the 70s in this video.

Due to differing accounts that are out there, I just concentrate on John, what he wrote lyrically and how clearheaded he was during his last interview. He was trying to be better. I think that is the most important detail despite everything that went down. Also the part where he was going to work with Ringo and had booked a studio with Paul for January 1981.

His activism was partly a distraction for him. Beatle John dabbled in it, but he became very aggressive about politics after the break up. He was anti-religion when he released Imagine (1971). But went back to believing in god when he wrote "Grow Old With Me" (1979?), which I have so much thoughts about but I haven't even had the courage to voice out.

While there are glimpses of John's mental anxiety visible in his song "Help!" (1965)

"Help me if you can, I'm feeling down, and I do appreciate you being 'round",

he was trying to be positive about it as seen in "Strawberry Fields Forever" (1966):

"It's getting hard to be someone but it all works out, It doesn't matter much to me".

And was still holding on during the conception of "Across the Universe" (in February 1968) with his mantra:

"Nothing's gonna change my world",

which I think might've been a result of Paul's engagement in December 1967 to Jane.

Across the Universe (February 1968) > believer God (1970) > anti-religion Imagine (1971) > anti-religion (he made a satire song which I did not include here) Grow Old With Me (1979) > believer

During his alleged break from music from 1975, he was still making home demos and was writing Skywriting by Word of Mouth.

I think John and Paul being apart was just not good for them. The general opinion was that Paul left John and had moved on. (I don't believe that's true). It was John who made the decision to leave, it was this push and pull thing, and Paul continued to reach out to him (and we don't know what happened during all those times they've met up). Some accounts say that John was practically begging for a reunion but then again Paul never stopped reaching out to John (see 1976) so I personally think, regardless of all these details that are out in the open, there is still a missing piece we have not considered yet and that can only be told by Paul himself.

To summarize it, John probably had depression (since his teenage years) but Paul was a constant positive thing in his life that he needed and that had helped him through it, "the girl who came to stay" until something happened...

John Lennon was definitely at his worst without his buddies by his side in the 70s.

#Asks #John Lennon #Mclennon #John and Paul #Lyrics #Paul Mccartney #The Beatles #would love to hear your thoughts too! #gttr-beatles

[halsaph]

alright whats this artdrone killbot thing

hi. You will regret asking this

The Murderbot Diaries is a series of books about a human-bot construct that was designed to essentially exist as an enslaved security guard / piece of sentient spyware. It's like if Alexa had half a human brain and a gun. We're introduced to Murderbot (the murder alexa) roughly 3 years after it's hacked the piece of hardware in it's brain that forces it to obey commands. In those 3 years it hasn't changed much about it's life except now while working as a subhuman slave it watches tv when no one is paying attention. As a series TMBD largely is about themes of personhood and discovering yourself when you have largely spent your life being denied the right to a sense of self. They also don't shy away from addressing the trauma that Murderbot has experienced from having it's autonomy stripped of it for most of it's life, with the second novella and most recent novel most heavily featuring that as an element. (Although that is a core aspect of Murderbot's character that informs its decisions throughout the entire series).

Murderbot as a character is bitingly sarcastic and witty, deeply paranoid and ultimately filled with the constant low level anxiety it doesn't know what it's doing (not necessarily moment by moment but overall, with it's freedom, with it's life). It's an excellent unreliable narrator because it only tells you exactly what it thinks is important in a scenario, relationships between other characters, physical features of itself and the people around it, it's own emotions and reactions often being completely brushed over with only occasional clues, and often outright misinterpreting people's actions, most often it's own. It has this ever present self loathing in the first several books where it constantly explains it's actions away in the least charitable interpretation possible even though we see time and time again that at it's core it deeply wants to help and protect the people around it. And we see over the course of the books as it starts learning how to make choices for itself and interacting with people who treat it with respect and develops a support system as it starts to move away from that mindset (with the exception of the most recent book but to be fair to MB System Collapse is about it being forced to confront it's PTSD and it's backsliding alot from recently being thrown back into a situation from its worst nightmares). I said before its a human-bot construct to explain that it isn't purely an inorganic being but Murderbot is a deeply inhuman character and openly has no desire to be human, and it's perspective as something that is made to be a security system and enmesh into both digital and hardwired surveillance is fascinating to read. As you know I deeply deeply love robots, they're my favorite kind of 'inhuman but still a Person' kind of character and Murderbot perfectly strikes the balance between a starkly in human way of thinking and deeply relatable emotions that draws me to robots as a whole, especially as an autistic person (and Murderbot was intentionally written with autistic traits but in a subversion of the typical ableist depiction of autistic robots so that EXTRA rings true lmao)

seeing as you mentioned it I will also explain ART as a character, ART is one of the reoccurring characters in the series (the first 3 novellas all have completely different casts outside of Murderbot itself as it hops from place to place trying to decide what it wants and who it is before in the fourth novella and beyond bringing back in previous characters and having them start to overlap throughout the rest of the series). It was introduced in the second book and is arguably the character that has the greatest impact on Murderbot as a person although I say arguably bc I would personally still say that's Mensah. Unarguably tho it is one of the most important people in Murderbot's life and has been described multiple times now by the author as the love of its life (although not necessarily in a romantic sense as Murderbot is both within text and confirmed via word of god acearo). ART (Asshole Research Transport) also known as the Perihelion (although not until the 5th book/first novel bc Murderbot doesn't bother to tell tell the readers its name until then, instead deciding its a dick so its gonna exclusively call it by an insult) is a spaceship's pilot AI, made to be sentient instead of the usual smart GPS as an experiment by the university is was made by. It was raised like a child by a pair of scientists who are now part of its crew (along with its sibling Iris) and now is a teaching vessel for students learning about deep space and also anticorporate espionage worker (don't worry about it). It's a giant pushy asshole unless you're a child (the only character we've ever seen it meet on screen it didn't in some way immediately threaten was a 16 yo). It can't watch tv without having to pause at the suspenseful bits to calm down. We're introduced to it by it threatening to melt Murderbot's mind and then pouting when it's scared shitless. It then a month later asks to do surgery on it. It fully intends to blow up a planet to get Murderbot back from a group of colonists that captured it until someone talks it out of it because that isn't effective hostage negotiation.

#the murderbot diaries #there are five novellas and two novels btw I couldn't think how to include that naturally in the block of text

[madridismodelcorazon4ever]

It's been almost a year since I've read the 1st volume of 2ha but even if I were to read this story again for the 1st time, Mo Ran's love for Chu Wanning would still be as clear as daylight for me. This is only my opinion (so don't come at me lol), but I'm always baffled when I see people reading the 1st book and thinking Mo Ran's true love is Shi Mei. When you come across the quote - During‌ ‌that‌ ‌time,‌ ‌if‌ ‌Shi‌ ‌Mei‌ ‌praised‌ ‌him‌ ‌“well‌ ‌done”,‌ ‌he‌ ‌would’ve‌ ‌flown‌ ‌into‌ ‌the‌ ‌sky‌ ‌with‌ ‌happiness.‌ But‌ ‌if‌ ‌Chu‌ ‌Wanning‌ ‌was‌ ‌willing‌ ‌to‌ ‌give‌ ‌him‌ ‌a‌ ‌“not‌ ‌bad”,‌ ‌he‌ ‌would’ve‌ ‌gladly‌ ‌given‌ ‌his‌ ‌life.‌ - your brain immediately goes "wait a minute, something is not right... doesn't he hate Chu Wanning and love the other?"

Well, the thing is - whenever MR talks about his "love" for SM, it always feels like he's rather trying to convince himself that he actually loves him, it never feels genuine because when you love someone, you don't have to tell yourself that your feelings for that person are real, you just know (here I'm making reference to that part where he sees both CWN and SM half naked at the spring but instead of admiring "his person", he can't take his eyes off of CWN. And MR is a person who loves passionately, both spiritually and physically so the argument that he doesn't want to stain SM's pure image is bullshit).

I guess what I was trying to convey in this post is that the most striking aspect of 2ha is the obvious and ardent love both protagonists have for each other. It's a love that's always there no matter how unreliable MR 1.0 is as a narrator. Not to mention that the title of the whole thing is "The Husky and His White Cat Shizun" not "The Husky and His Green Snake Shixiong".

#2ha #erha #ranwan #sorry about the last part I just couldn't help myself lmao #we all know it's true tho #2ha spoilers

[hoodharlow]

Happy Birthday Moviestar

AN sorry this took long lol. i was gonna so something about the vmas and met gala but decided against it hope you enjoy <333

Requested? No

Warnings SMUTTT, angst (neelam says some things she should have) but overall cute shit bc it’s miriam’s birthday 

Word Count 6.7k words

“Now I get why you didn't want to sit in my box seats.” Kendall Jenner told Miriam, noticing Jack sitting courtside next to Urban and Zack Bia with his team behind him. 

"I don't like box seats in general." She shrugged. 

Kendall gave her a knowing look and guided them to the section directly across from Jack's seats. 

They were in Phoenix for the Suns and Warriors game. Miriam hitched a ride with Kendall from New York. She's been there for a little over a month filming another movie. She starred alongside Evan Mock and Isabela Gomez. It's a book adaptation to 'Placebo Junkies' and about a highschool dropout who lives in a rundown apartment with her boyfriend (played by Evan Mock) and her best friend (played by Isabela Gomez). Evan Mock's character has a terminal illness and Miriam's character starts doing medical trials to save up some money so they can take a trip. Throughout the film it showed the desperation Miriam's character goes through to make money after her best friend passes away and what can happen when drug trials are taken to extremes. What Miriam is most excited about is the ending because her character is an unreliable narrator, and it leaves the ending left to interpretation.

She got the role back in September, when she was getting ready for the Met Gala, Jeremy O. Harris was also getting dressed by Tommy Hilfiger, like her and Jack, and brought up the movie role. Jeremy is one of the producers for 'Placebo Junkies'. He claimed that it was ‘perfect for her’ because he read the script for ‘The Lies We Vow To' ,her movie with Oscar Isaac, and drew similarities between the characters. Filming for the movie started in early October and set to end in mid December. Though right they're taking a week long break since Isabela Gomez is promoting one of her projects and Evan Mock is gearing up for the second half of Gossip Girl. Coincidentally, Miriam's birthday is in the same week and Jack invited her to spend the week with him while he toured. He offered to fly her out first class, but she had already asked Kendall if she could fly with her. 

She hadn't seen him in forever. After Lollapalooza Chicago, she went to New York to work on her Met Gala look with Tommy Hilfiger and Soni, Danny and Claudia's mom. They briefly reunited in London but they couldn't spend as much time as they liked because Jack was busy doing shows and interviews, but they were lucky to sit at the same table at the GQ awards dinner. She went because she was her dad's plus one. Mateo was awarded some type of athletic lifetime achievement award for his time at Chelsea. Soon after that, Jack began his US tour and she was working for fashion month. 

Her phone buzzed and she pulled it out of her back pocket. It was a message from Jack. Miriam read it and rolled her eyes at his corny message about how he's rethinking his career choices because she looks good in a basketball jersey. She didn't even try to make her outfit look cute. She wore some high waisted boyfriend jeans and his black hoodie with a Warriors jersey over it. Kendall Jenner was dressed the same, except she wore her boyfriend's jersey. 

Miriam looked across the court to him. She smirked seeing him sitting with his legs open. She typed out how yearned to drop to her knees and suck him right then and there, not caring that seventeen thousand people saw her. She watched him pull out his phone and read her message. He squirmed in his seat and subtly adjusted his pants. He met her gaze and discreetly flipped her off while he fixed his jacket. 

Not long after warm-ups started. Miriam and Kendall took several pictures, posting them to their respective social media accounts. At some point Juan Toscano, number 95 from the Warriors, came by with Jordan to say hi to Miriam when Kendall went to go greet Devin. Jordan left to finish, leaving Miriam and Juan to catch up. 

From across the court Jack took notice of how Miriam was laughing a little too hard at whatever Juan was telling her. 

"Aw, she's wearing his jersey. They make such a cute couple." said Charlotte, one of Neelam’s influencer friends that was close to Jack's age. 

Charlotte and Jack had a very brief fling a few years back. He met her in Birmingham at one of his shows. She was tall and blonde, nothing too interesting to keep him around. She became some sort of southern Belle influencer and according to Neelam, she grew a decent sized following a few months ago. Jack wanted nothing to do with Charlotte after they ended things but she managed to stay friends with Neelam and would sometimes get flown out to hang out with her. 

"They're not a couple." Jack said curtly, squeezing his paper cup as Juan and Miriam shared a hug. 

"I don't know, that looks like a couple to me," Charlotte said in a sing-song voice. She reached forward to rub Jack's arm and leaned in, "what are we doing after the game, handsome?"

Thankfully the game started and Jack could just pretend he didn't hear her. But that didn't stop her from trying to get his attention. Every few minutes, she'd try to touch his arm. It got to the point that Jack had to ask Urban to switch seats with him. At half-time, the Suns' mascot went up to him and gave him a personalized jersey for the shout out he gave them in the 'What's Poppin' remix. By the time the third quarter started, Jack's social battery drained and he wanted to go back to his hotel room.

He pulled out his phone to text Miriam just as she sent him a text that she was leaving the game early. He replied back that she should wait for him because he was planning on leaving as well but he head to check in with Neelam and Chris. 

"Hey, I'm heading back to the hotel with Miriam." He told Chris in a hushed tone. 

"Okay, text me when you get to the hotel." He said. 

"You can't just leave. The game isn't over." Neelam whisper-yelled. 

"It's just a basketball game." Chris reassured her.

"Whatever." She mumbled, crossing her arms.

"Jack, where are you going?" Charlotte asked him.

"I'm leaving." He said bluntly. 

"Can I go with you?" She quickly gathered her things.

"No." He said, looking over to Urban with a 'you seeing this shit?' look. 

He grabbed his things and shook hands with Urban and Zack. He nodded at Chris and was on his way. He spotted Miriam and Beto casually waiting for the valet to pull up with their rental. 

"Hey," he said, letting her know he was there.

"Hi." She grinned. 

Jack ached to touch her, to have his arms around her, but he couldn't. When they established that they're a couple they agreed to be private. It wasn't anyone's business either way. Their close friends and family knew, along with Jack's team because they wouldn't be able to hide it from them. Other than that nobody else knew. To the general public they were just really close friends that saw each other at a lot of events. 

Though Miriam accidentally let her followers know she wasn't single when she posted a selfie of her with Daisy jumping over her to her Instagram stories. Her caption was 'when your dog hears your man's voice and wants to join your facetime.' She had called him panicking and apologized. He reassured her that it was okay. He gave her his consent that she can talk about him as long as she doesn't mention him by name or post anything that can be traced back to him because he knew how his fans could get. Even before they got together, some of them didn’t like that they were friends while some claimed that they're not real friends and only hang out for PR reasons.

The valet approached them and handed the keys to the rental to Beto. He stood back to make sure there weren't any paps as Jack guided Miriam inside the SUV. 

Once inside the confines of the car, Jack pulled Miriam into a chaste kiss. 

"I fucking missed you." He said, pressing their foreheads together.

"Really? Because from the looks of it you and blondie looked rather comfortable. Are you going to dedicate a verse from my song to her too?" She asked him in a playful tone, referring to the Chicken Shop Date video.

"For the millionth time, it was edited." He groaned.

When he filmed the Chicken Shop Date video, he was asked what the most romantic lyric he wrote was and he recited a verse from the song he wrote for Miriam a few months back. But the video editors cut it so it looked like he made up the verse off the top of his head for the host. Miriam was a bit annoyed with him when she saw the video because she thought the song was just between them. But Jack reassured her that the song was between them. Though he did plan to have that part of her song in another song about her. 

"I know I just like teasing." Miriam giggled. 

The car ride back to the hotel was quick. Jack handed her a copy of his key while her and Beto checked in. Chris was able to book a room for her and Beto in the same one they were staying at. Will she be sleeping in it? No, the night was still young and her and Jack had several weeks to catch up with each other. 

Jack went ahead of her and quickly picked up the things he had laying on the ground. He fixed up the bed and fluffed up the pillows. A few minutes later the card reader pinged, opening the door and revealing Miriam. 

She closed the door and ran to him, wrapping her legs around his waist. Jack bounced her bit, adjusting her legs so she wouldn't slip off him. They kissed as he carried them to the cloud gray arm chair. They pulled away, removing their sweaters and shirts. Miriam stayed in her lace and silk balconette bra while Jack stayed shirtless. 

“Did this come with a matching thong?” Jack asked, toying with a strap.

“No, but I got matching cheeky panties.” Miriam shrugged. 

“You always gotta make your smartass comments.” he mumbled.

“Isn’t that why you like me?” she smiled sweetly.

“No, it’s because of this ass.” 

Jack pushed her up so that his hands were on her ass. With both hands, he kneaded her ass and then pressed her down on the growing tent of his pants. Miriam held his face as she leaned down to kiss his lips. They moaned into each other's mouths as Jack kept moving Miriam’s hips on him. He held them in place and pushed his hips up for a different sensation. After what felt like an eternity, he finally let them go and wrapped his arms around her waist as they continued their makeout session.

Kissing Jack was addicting and it didn’t help that he’s good at it. Miriam has known all that since their shared kiss back at his birthday kickback. One kiss made her want to have a million more. And having him all to herself like this, she couldn’t help but be greedy and only want to kiss him. Though that didn’t mean she didn't ache to have him fill her up. 

“This is embarrassing.'' Jack panted, finally breaking their kiss.

“What?” Miriam asked before kissing down his jaw.

“I’m about to bust,” he groaned. 

“Bust what?” she scrunched her face in confusion.

“What do you think, smartass?” he deadpanned gesturing to his crotch.

“Oh,” she giggled. Miriam got off his lap and kneeled on the rug. With her hands, she opened his legs a bit so she could fit properly in between them. She sat on her knees and gathered her hair into a ponytail. "You know I wasn't kidding when I said I would have let all those people see me just so I can have you in my mouth."

"Is that so?" 

"Mhm," she hummed as stood up. 

She gave him his back as she slowly pulled down her jeans. She adjusted her panties, pulling them up her hips to accentuate her ass more, and got back down on her knees. She reached forward and undid Jack's pants. He lifted his hips allowing her to pull them down along with his boxer-briefs. She grabbed them and tossed them aside. 

"Damn, you weren't kidding when you said that you were about to bust." Miriam noted as she reached for his cock. 

"I told– fuck, Miriam." Jack cursed when he felt her tongue circle around his tip. 

She spit on it and slowly jerked him off with both hands. She slipped him as far as she could take him. He let out an incoherent sound until she reached the back of her throat. She did it a few more times, egging him on. She pulled away, with a trail of saliva spilling from the corner of her mouth, and kissed down his length. 

Jack sat back in amazement watching her slip him back in her mouth. Miriam always left him in awe. She presented herself with such grace and elegance. It was hard to believe that she was the same girl that was giving him the sloppiest head he's ever received. It turned him on more that only he had the privilege to see this side of her. That she was his lil secret and her was hers.

"Jack," she called to him in a soft voice.

"Yes?" He asked, quirking an eyebrow at her. 

He knew that tone all too well. It was the one she used when she wanted to get her way with something because she knew he was going to say no when she'd ask him for something. 

"Can you please fuck my face?" She leaned her head on his thigh and gently rubbed the other one. She met his gaze with a pout. "Please."

"You always gotta get your damn way, huh." He mumbled, shaking his head.

Jack moved to the edge of the armchair and spread his legs more. He bent down and pulled her up her neck, claiming her lips with his. He let go of her neck and gathered her curls with one of his hands while Miriam unclasped her bra flinging it behind them. She got on all fours, finding it more comfortable for her get her face fucked than kneeling. 

"Ready?" He asked her.

"Yes." She nodded eagerly. 

"If it's too much–"

"I'll squeeze your wrist three times, I know." She cut him off, rolling her eyes in annoyance. "We've been over it hundreds of times."

"I'mma about to fuck that snarky attitude of yours."

"Please do." She smiled sweetly.

Jack didn't bother to give Miriam a response. He tightened the grip around her hair and guided his cock back in her mouth. They moaned in unison. He slowly bobbed her head up and down his length, getting used to her mouth. She took him a little deeper each time. He still wasn't a fan of deep throat but lucky for him, Miriam knew what she was doing and didn't take him with such brute force. Several minutes passed and Jack began to thrust his hips up as he held Miriam's head in place. 

In front of them was a full length mirror mounted on the wall. Jack noticed one of Miriam's hands rubbing herself over her soaked through panties. He loosened his grip around her hair. 

"Take them off." He motioned to her panties. "I wanna see you play with your pussy while I fuck your pretty mouth."

Miriam nodded. She rolled over and yanked them off, getting back into the position she was previously in. She opened up her legs more so that Jack could get a better of her. She opened her mouth to him, letting him know they can continue where they left off. She whimpered in pleasure as he slid in her mouth once more. 

Jack's grunts filled the suite, egging Miriam on as she rubbed her clit. She was pleasantly overwhelmed, but she needed more. So she inserted her ring and middle fingers inside of herself. She thrusted her fingers at the same pace Jack fucked her mouth. A hard smack on her ass, caught her off guard and brought her to her climax. 

Jack pulled her away from him, allowing her to fully come. She rested her head on the inside of his thigh. Her moans were raspy, almost inaudible. She pulled her fingers out and offered them to Jack. He gladly took them and licked them clean. He brushed back some of her curls, making her sigh contently. 

"We can stop here." Jack said. 

Miriam shook her head. "You haven't come yet which is why we're doing this in the first place." 

"I don't want you to think you're obligated just because you came, Miriam."

"I don't feel obligated to go down on you. I genuinely like sucking your dick. If I didn't, I wouldn't be down here getting rugburns on my knees."

"Are you sure?" 

"I'm a hundred percent positive."

"Alright, you can do your thing."

"Yay!" She clapped happily.

Miriam’s eyes never left Jack’s as she took him back in her mouth. His stomach began to contract after a few bobs, letting her know that he was close. Slowly, she pulled him out of her mouth until only his tip rested on her tongue. She widened her eyes, making her look more innocent as she stroked him. 

"Fuck Miriam, let me come on that pretty face." He murmured.

She nodded and sucked his tip one last time before jerking him off. She closed her eyes, not wanting to get Jack's release on her eye like last time. She felt warm streaks land on her cheek, sliding down her neck while Jack repeated her name as he came. 

Miriam sat back on her knees once Jack's climax ceased. She was a sight for sore eyes. Mascara ran down her flushed cheeks. Her lips were plump, swollen from them meeting the base of his cock every time he shoved her head down as he thrusted his hips up. Her hair clung to her neck thanks to Jack's release and her sweat. 

"You okay?" Jack asked her, noticing her zoned out state.

"Yeah," Miriam nodded. She got up and sat on his lap. "Thank you, for doing all that. You didn't have to, I know you don't like head like that." 

"I know. Like you said, if I really didn't want to, I wouldn't have let you go down on me." He said, wrapping his arms around her. 

Miriam nodded in agreement. She nuzzled his chest. She tried stifling a yawn but exhaustion finally hit her. She was on set for a few hours before she flew out to Phoenix with Kendall. She didn't even nap during the four hour flight because she was so excited to see Jack. 

"Let's shower and get ready for bed." He said, helping her up. 

"Can you fuck me against the shower glass?" She asked as they made their wya to the bathroom.

"No, knowing you, you'd want me to twist you up into a pretzel when I fuck you and that shit is dangerous."

***

Jack stifled a yawn as he entered the hotel room. He was in Portland. The bus had arrived at the hotel just before midnight. It was almost six in the morning and he had set an alarm at four to go with Urban to get some doughnuts at 'Voodoo Donuts' for Miriam. It was her birthday and he wanted to surprise her with one of her favorite sweet treats. 

"Where'd you go?" Miriam asked him as he climbed to bed. "I got cold without you here to hold me."

"I'm pretty sure you're only cold because you're sleeping in a thong and tank top." Jack murmured, pulling her to his chest. He kissed her shoulder. "Happy birthday moviestar."

"Thank you, but can we hold off until the sun's out?" She asked.

Jack hummed in response. He pulled the blanket, her tiger blanket that he stole from her before he left for tour, he wanted to have a piece of her to hold while he slept, over their bodies. They both fell back into a deep slumber. 

Around seven, Jack’s phone began ringing. He cursed and reached behind him to the nightstand. Miriam stirred awake when she felt him get out of bed. She spotted him in the small living room area leaning against the back of the couch with the most annoyed look that she was all too familiar with. It usually happened when they were hanging out and Neelam would call him over to the studio. He hung up and walked back to bed with an apologetic look. 

“What’s up?” she asked him as he plopped on the bed. 

“Neelam scheduled three fucking radio interviews in the morning and one in the afternoon.” he mumbled into his pillow. 

‘Of course she did.’ Miriam thought to herself, but she ended up responding, “And that’s bad because?” 

“Because it’s your birthday and I brought you out here to spend it with you.” he turned his head to look at her. 

“Jack, it’s okay. This isn't the first time I’m spending my birthday alone.” she leaned forward to brush back some of his curls.

“You’re not making it better.” He huffed and rolled onto his back, pulling her to his lap. 

“I know what can make you feel better.” she said, pressing herself down on the growing tent in Jack's crotch. "Can I ride you?" 

"I'd like that." He nodded. 

Miriam nodded. 

"But I want you to ride my face first.” he said, moving her hands away from his boxer-briefs. 

"Oh my god, no!" She giggled.

"Why?" He sat up. 

"I have thick thighs." She mumbled, embarrassed. 

"So? I like thick thighs, especially yours." Jack murmured, kissing down her jaw as one of his hands crept inside her thighs. "I can tell it's warm. Can I please dive in?" 

"If you–"

"Hold that thought." He cut her off. 

Lyric inspiration hit him. Jack got out of bed and went where his backpack was. He unzipped a hidden pocket and pulled out a leather bound journal. He flipped through it until he found the page he titled 'Blade of Grass', quickly scribbling 'Thick thighs and I can tell it's warm, baby, can I please dive in?'. 

"You good?" Miriam asked him as he shoved his journal back in backpack.

"Yeah," he nodded. He looked down at her thong covered sex and smirked, "that pussy of yours just gave me some inspiration for a song." 

"I don't even wanna know." She scrunched up her face, cringing.

"Are you still riding my face?" He asked, laying on his back. 

"If you wanna die." 

"It'll be the most honorable way to go." 

*

Jack checked his phone for the nth time. He was waiting for Miriam back in the suite because three hours before they had to be at the venue. He wanted to spend some time with her. A few days prior he had found a bakery near the venue he was performing at and ordered a small red velvet cake for Miriam. It was her favorite. 

Jack tossed his phone on the bed hearing the keycard reader ping. Miriam entered the suite struggling to carry several shopping bags, so he got up and held the door open for her.

"Hi!" she said, tossing the bags on the ground. She turned behind her and grabbed the other bags Beto was holding for her along with a suitcase. "Thanks Beto, I'll text you later to head out."

She closed the door with her hips and placed the rest of her bags with the others. Miriam toed her sneakers off and took off her The North Face fleece jacket, staying in the white cropped white beater top she wore under. She pushed Jack on the bed and straddled his hips.

"I see you kept yourself busy." Jack nodded behind her at the large pile of Saint Laurent and Mario's shopping bags. 

"After I watched Oscar Isaac die naked in Dune, I did some light shopping." She said, running hands over his chest.

"That's what you call light shipping?" He asked, arching an eyebrow at her.

"Yeah," she nodded, "you should see me in Milan and Paris. I empty the stores." A few seconds passed when she jumped off his lap and rummaged through her shopping bags. "That reminds me, I got you something."

He shook his head. He didn't like it when she spent money on him. "Miriam,"

"And before you're all 'it's your birthday you shouldn't have bought me something', this is purely for selfish reasons because I plan on wearing it when I visit you." She pulled out a white puffer jacket. Handing it to him, she said, "Mira, it's Moncler."

"I know these cost over twelve hundred. I can’t accept it.” he protected. 

"Jack, if it makes you feel better we can say it's my jacket that I let you borrow." Miriam reasoned sarcastically.

"Fuck that," he frowned.

"You're helpless. Just take the fucking jacket." 

"Fine." He grumbled, slipping on the jacket. It fit him perfectly. It wasn't too big but it was loose enough in the way he liked. "Thanks for the jacket."

"And maybe we can go to my grandpa's place in Aspen and I can ride you while wearing it." 

"I'll buy you some snow boots so– wait, your grandpa has a place in Aspen?"

"Yeah, my white grandpa's family owns a small chain of ski lodges in Colorado. When they cut my grandpa off, he was lucky to already have his own lodge-cabin thing. We always go there for Christmas with my other grandparents."

"Why was your grandpa cut off?"

"They're racist and hate my abuela because she's Mexican." She shrugged. "Now let's change the topic. Did you figure out what song you're cutting so you can perform 'Yikes'?"

"How'd you know I'm performing that?"

"I overheard you and your DJ last night on the bus." 

"Damn I was gonna surprise you." He fake- pouted.

"Oh well." Miriam giggled, pulling the jacket's hood over Jack's head.

"This got awkward." He pointed out after a few seconds of awkward silence.

"It did."

"C'mon let's cut your cake." He said pulling over to sit on the bed. 

"Stop! You didn't get me a cake." Her eyes brimmed with tears. 

He nodded. "Red velvet too." 

"Fuck Jack!" She cried. She wrapped her arms around his body. "You're the best,  you know that right?"

He smirked proudly. "I do." 

He propped his phone at the vanity so he could record them while Miriam facetimed her parents on her phone. Everyone sang to her and she blew out the candles. She talked to parents while Jack got his things ready for tonight's show. Miriam hung up half an hour later and started to get ready. 

Since she didn't get the dresses custom made, like she does when she buys at the Paris YSL store, they didn't fit as well as she liked. The champagne colored crushed velvet dress didn't even have adjustable straps and it made her breasts look weird. Miriam ended up going with the outfit she had originally packed. It was a black open front, long sleeve Jacquemus crop top that was held together in the front with a dainty gold plaque of the brand's logo and dusty pink high waisted cargo pants that matched the laces of her Dutch Green Air Jordans. 

She then went to the bathroom to do her hair and makeup. She had straightened her hair earlier that day, but it rained thus making her hair curly once more. So she just clipped it back and did two little braids to frame her face. For makeup, she went with a more laid back look with a subtle eyeliner, soft contour, and some gloss. She felt her eyes a bit naked so she decided to put on some lashes that weren't too out there. 

"Miriam, your phone's blowing up." Jack called from the bed as she tried to connect the strip to her inner corner. 

"Give me a sec!" She yelled back as she wiggled the tweezers. 

"Holy shit!" He exclaimed. 

"What?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" He said walking in the bathroom.

"'Peraté…okay, got it." She said finally getting her eyelashes on. 

"Is this what you were doing when you facetimed me in the orange wig?" Jack handed her his phone. 

He remembered when she left for fashion month, she had to leave New York three days in because she needed to be in London for three weeks. Every time she’d call to facetime him, she’d be in a ginger wig similar to one Rihanna wore in 2015. Jack would have asked her about it, but he was too excited to hear her voice that he’d forget to ask. 

Miriam looked down and saw a picture of her and Robert Pattinson on set for The Batman. She remembered that scene specifically. It was when her character and Bruce Wayne arrived at some funeral and were making small talk to someone who was running for mayor. It was posted from The Batman's official instagram account. The caption said 'happy birthday to @mdominguezmiller, our very Pamela Islas.' Poison Ivy’s original name is Pamela Isley but because Miriam’s Mexican, they changed her last name to fit her. The writers even hinted that her character was bisexual because some adaptations make her straight.

"No mames." She said to herself. 

"Why didn't you tell me you were going to be in the fucking Batman?" Jack asked her. "That's amazing!"

"Well I signed an NDA and I have at most like five minutes of screen time. I didn't want to risk them getting cut. I didn't want to be like Madison Beer when she was like 'I was supposed to be in the video' when thank u next came out." She explained as she read through the comments.

She frowned. A bunch of people, mostly white men, are saying how she doesn't fit the character because she's not white and how they should have gone with a white woman and not some 'wetback' for diversity points. Others were saying she got the role because of her mom and how it wasn't fair. Her mom didn't even know she auditioned until she got the role. She auditioned back in 2019 while she was filming 'In the Heights'. The general public didn't even know she existed. Her instagram at the time was private. She barely had 20k subscribers on YouTube, all she did were fashion reviews and shopping hauls. Thanks to her joining in on one of Claudia's reaction videos in mid 2020, she started getting more subscribers. And that was because Claudia had to use a clickbait title. It wasn't until September of last year that she got on tiktok because she did one with her brother. Lastly her Twitter is a mess and tweets out the most absurd shit. Obviously, it's not like they hired her because of her social media presence.

"Here." She said to Jack, handing him his phone back. 

His face softened, noticing her frown. "What's wrong?" He asked her. 

"Nothing." She sighed, hopping down the counter. 

"Miriam," he lifted her chin so she could look at him. "Tell me."

"People are being stupid in the comments." She sighed. "They're saying I only got to be Poison Ivy because of my mom and there are a few racist comments saying I can't be Poison Ivy because I'm latina. It's fine, people are dumb." 

"Hey, you should feel proud that you get to star in one of the most anticipated movies ever. People never know the hard work you put it in no matter how hard you try to show them what you do to be where you are. They don't care, they just wanna talk shit. Trust me I would know, me and Nas have a whole song about it." 

"I'm gonna repost some stuff then delete instagram for a few hours." 

"Sounds like a plan. While you're at it, you should see what I posted." He grinned mischievously.

Miriam eyed him suspiciously then searched him up. His account loaded and she tapped on his instagram story. It was a picture of her with her cheeks stuffed with mille-feuille while she and Jack listened to the director of the Creme de la Creme promo tour video. At the bottom it said, 'happy birthday moviestar.'

"Of all fucking pictures you could've posted Jack"

*

“Noise canceling my ass.” Urban murmured as the couple exited the storage closet. 

Miriam smacked Jack’s arm. “Te dije, he was going to hear us.” 

Jack laughed and placed his arm around Miriam as they walked back to his dressing room. 

“I don’t even know how you two were still horny. I heard you go at it at least three times back at the hotel.” Urban asked, lighting up a blunt.

“Jack we gotta get you mic'd up.” Chris waved him over. 

“Shit, I gotta go.” Jack sighed. 

“It’s okay. Me and Urban are gonna go to our balcony seats with Beto, who’s saving them for us.” she said.

“Keep an eye on her.” Jack said, doing his handshake on her.

“I don’t need a babysitter.” she frowned.

“Miriam, you have a bodyguard,” he argued.

“It’s different.” 

“Enlightened me.”

“Don’t you have to get ready to go on stage?”

Jack rolled her eyes. He leaned down and gave her a peck. He gave Urban another hand shake then went to where Chris and some crew members were. 

“I gotta get my camera, c’mon.” Urban motioned Miriam to follow him. 

They flashed security backstage passes and entered the greenroom. Neelam, Metta and the blonde girl that was at the Suns and Warriors game were hanging out by the couch. They stopped talking when they saw her enter the room. They made a face and talked in quiet voices. Not wanting to make some awkward small talk, Miriam went to the snack table and grabbed a slice of pizza. She was hungry. After she and Jack cut her cake, Jack showed her how proud he was of her for her movie role with his tongue and cock. Then when they got to the venue, her and Jack went to go see The Homies perform before they snuck out for a quickie. 

“That isn’t for you. It’s for the people that actually work.” Neelam told her, startling her.

Miriam never felt so embarrassed in her life. “Oh, I’m sorry. I–”

“You what? You think that you deserve to get everything handed? If you want food, then go get some.” 

“You’re right. I apologize.” Miriam said coldly, trying to hold back tears. She dug in the front pocket of her pants, pulling out a wad of $100 bills. She counted five and tossed them on the table. “I’m sure that covers the slice. Urban, I’ll see you on the balcony.” 

Based on the fear in Neelam’s eyes, she had no idea Urban was in the room. Miriam exited the room not wanting to deal with her. She sniffled and wiped the few tears that rolled down her cheek. No one has ever talked to her the way Neelam had. When she came with Jack to drop off his things, he told her that she could herself to whatever and that he even got jalapeño kettle chips for her. 

“Miriam, hold up.” Urban called to her, jogging. He reached for her arm, stopping her. “What the fuck was that?”

“I’m sorry. Jack said that I could help myself. I should have asked.” She apologized.

“What?–That’s not…was that the first time Neelam has talked to you like that or have you had other run-ins with her?” he asked her. Miriam’s silence answered his question. “Does Jack know?”

“No, because it’s not a big deal.”

“You can’t be serious! She just went off on you unprovoked.” 

“Okay when you say it like that…”

“Bro,”

“Urban, she’s Jack’s manager. I’m not going to say anything because it’ll risk his career.” her eyes softened. “Please promise me, you’re not going to tell Jack.”

“Fine, but if some shit like this happens again, I’m telling him,” he warned her. 

They pinky promised and went to the balcony area. Beto was texting, ignoring the red head trying to make conversation with him. 

“Want some?” Urban asked her, offering his new blunt as they sat down.

“I don’t smoke.” Miriam said. She’s too paranoid for weed. Alcohol already made her anxious as is and to add weed into the mix, was not good for anyone. 

“You?” He offered it to Beto.

“On the clock.” Beto said. 

Miriam furrowed her eyebrows. “Since when do you smoke?”

“Miss Dominguez I have a life outside of making sure you don’t fight paparazzi.'' He said, sipping his water bottle.

“It was one time and it was before you were even hired.”

“Since I’ve been hired you haven’t had any incidents.”

*

“Can I post this?” Miriam asked Jack as he walked out of the bathroom in only a towel wrapped around him.

He leaned down to see her phone, tugging the towel off to dry himself. It was a selfie she took of them in the elevator when they were coming back from the show. Jack was in a black puffer jacket with his back to the camera. Miriam’s face was also hidden thanks to the hoodie she wore. 

“Go ahead,” he nodded, grabbing another towel to dry his hair.

“Okay, thank you.” 

Miriam skipped the opening credits to the new Bob’s Burgers episode she was binging on her laptop. She switched out of her camera roll to Instagram. She fixed the lighting in the picture then typed out her caption. ‘Happy to spend my Jordan year with my favorite person, and ty to everyone for the birthday wishes.🤍🤍🤍’ She hit post and then connected her phone to her charger.

Jack finally got in bed and pulled her to his chest. They ate some of the cake while they watched their show. After a few episodes, Miriam yawned, nuzzling her head against his chest. She lifted her head and brought her hands up to his chest so can rest her head on them. She looked up at Jack and gave him a soft smile.

"Thank you." She said, tenderly scratching his beard.

"For what?" He asked her. 

"For today, I know you were busy but you somehow made time for me. And I…" Miriam quickly clamped her mouth shut. 

She almost said a certain three worded sentence. A certain three worded sentence she's never said to any of her past partners. Except for Conner, the first boyfriend she had, and that massively backfired on her. Because of him she couldn't say them to Kaleob and she really adored him. And yet here she was ready to say them to Jack as Bob's Burgers played in front of them while they gorged on red velvet cake.

"You what? You kinda stopped talking." Jack said, bringing her back from her thoughts. 

"Oh, sorry" she giggled nervously. She cleared her throat. "I, um, I'm glad I got to be here with you. It's one of the best birthdays I've had in a while."

"Me too. I…I'm glad you had a great day despite everything."

Miriam pushed herself up and pecked his lips. He tucked a curl behind her ear and asked her, "What would you rate this birthday?"

"Definitely in my top twenty-three birthdays."

Taglist: @cherryxcreme​​ @youngharleezyxo​​ @deannaard​​ @meyocoko​​​ @babyharleezy​​  

#jack harlow smut #jack harlow angst #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow one shot #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow series #jack harlow x oc #jack harlow drabble #jack harlow oneshot #jack harlow fan fic #jack harlow fanfiction #jack and miriam

[miyu-hyperfixates]

Recently, I've been thinking about how the narrators of MXTX's books become progressively more unreliable with each new work. And how the more reliable they appear to be at first glance, the more unreliable they turned out to be.

1 - Scum Villain's Self-Saving System

Let's start with SVSSS.

Shen Yuan | Shen Qingqiu is your typical unreliable narrator in several ways.

First, regarding what happened in the original. At the beginning the only thing we knew about PIDW came from Shen Yuan's knowledge and own interpretations of the book. So of course we're taking everything at face value and accept all lot of Facts that OG!SQQ was an unredeemable scum villain (lecher, murderer, abuser, low IQ etc) for example. Though it becomes quite apparent half-way through the story (with the introduction of Airplane and when hints of OG!SQQ are shown) that Shen Yuan might not have been informed of the whole picture behind PIDW. There were a lot of background information and character depths that Shen Yuan weren't aware of (and he is discovering them at the same time as us the readers, but even if we're given hints and can infer about some things, the whole picture would only become apparent in the Extras ).

This is of course due to the fact that Shen Yuan used to be a Reader just like us and wasn't privy on the thoughts and disastrous plotting process of the Author.

Secondly, the narration in SVSSS is heavily influenced by SQQ own thoughts, views and interpretations of what he is living through. We know most of if not all his inner thoughts without much filtering. And it is very obvious right from the beginning that SQQ considers himself (due to his status as a transmigrator) an Omniscient Narrator (spoiler he is so not.)

Now the thing is, SQQ is very genre savy, okay? And say what you want, but he's actually quite observant... and it's not even that he can't identify the tropes when they happened to him (the amount of times he complained to the system from being involved in a wife plots) .... it's just that his internalized homophobia and his previous knowledge of PIDW is preventing him from reaching the right conclusions.

We, as readers, don't have this problem though. And this is why, SVSSS is a comedy, it is playing with the fact that we know SQQ is an unreliable narrator and it only works if we manage to notice what SQQ is missing. SVSSS thrives from SQQ being an unreliable narrator and all the misunderstandings that derive from it. I mean the whole Jinlan arc would read very differently if we were taking things at face value.

So yeah, SY | SQQ is an unreliable narrator and we were meant to notice that he is one right away.

2 - Mo Dao Zu Shi

Let's move on to MDZS and its narrator's, Wei Wuxian.

Now, WWX doesn't appear like an obvious unreliable narrator. His thoughts and feelings do, of course, colored the narrative when describing facts and people (and boy, that man has Opinions) but that is to be expected in any narrator.

Like SQQ before him, WWX is very observant but blind to his own impact on other people's lives. And it was implied thoroughly through the novel that he failed to notice the depth of people's feelings for him. And because of that, since you're seeing the world through WWX's eyes you have to try to read between the lines to understand some people actions. A lot of things are left to (more or less) interpretation, which is why some characters characterization wildly differs from one adaption to the other. (Jiang Cheng is probably the one who suffers the most from this problem, *squinting at the donghua adaptation of JC*).

So while WWX seems like a case of typical slightly unreliable narrator due to chronic obliviousness, you might not feel the need to label him as an unreliable narrator.

Until you realize that WWX tended to downplay a lot of things regarding his own sufferings and most importantly that he deliberately left things out of the narrative. Like... you know the whole thing with his golden core.

... Which is worse than SQQ, because at least SQQ didn't try to hide anything from the readers and you know.... conveniently forgetting a lot of things because he's got a bad memory.

3 - Tian Guan Ci Fu

Oh boy.... where to begin?

Xie Lian's narration, contrarily to both SQQ's and WWX's, appears to be sort of dry, a little matter-of-fact even? He is a lot less transparent with his own thoughts, so much that I've even been reluctant at the beginning to qualify TGCF as being from XL's POV. And more importantly he often doesn't bother to tell us things that he already knows (and he knows a lot of things). Which makes him the worst narrator ever.

I mean, you think the guy 's got a case of "a little bit oblivious" what's with him so half-assingly trying to "check San Lang's status/true identity" or him not realizing that the Middle court officers were obviously his former general in disguise.... But then speed forwarding to the next arc (or several next arcs in the case of Mu Qing and Feng Xin) and you realize that he actually knew all along and just didn't bother to tell us...

And it's super funny because he's like, "What? Do you think you guys were being sneaky or something?"

Another thing that makes him so unreliable is that you see him reading aloud the story of the demise of some general and then ten chapters later you realize that the general was him all along and he didn't even twitch while talking about it.

That of course prompted the running gag that if some random characters appears in the background/past of the current arc relevant character, then that random character had a 90% chance of being Xie Lian.

So yeah Xie Lian is most unreliable narrator of all three MC, because you don't have a clue that he's one until it's hitting you in the face.

4 - ??

So, seeing as how things have progressed so far, doesn't it mean that the 4th MC would be even worse than Xie Lian?

At this point, I wouldn't even be surprised if we spent two third of the 4th novel bemoaning on how the MC is so oblivious about the ML's (and his wholeass harem of side-characters) affection for him and then we got a scene like:

4th MC, after witnessing ML drinking vinegar, grinning affectionately: Pfft, we've been married for ten years and he's still being like this.

Readers : ....

Readers: !!! WHAT?! You're married?! Since how long?!

4th MC: Oh did you not know? But we've been holding hands the whole time?!

Readers: You didn't mention any of that!

4th MC, blinking: Oh we've been doing it so often that it just didn't register as something needed to mentioned?!

Readers: What about others things though, like kissing or papapa? Didn't you think it would be worth mentioning?

4th MC: Okay first, it's none of your business what me and my husband are doing behind the scene and secondly... bold of you to assume that I would have enough senses left to narrate anything while being intimate with my husband.

#svsss #shen qingqiu #bingqiu #mdzs #wwx #wangxian #tgcf #xie lian #hualian #throwing mxtx thoughts in the void

[umthisistheonlyusernamenottaken]

Pro Nesta rant

You're telling me that Nesta, proud as a peacock Nesta who once told Feyre:

'... you're a burden.'

'What do you know?... You're just a half-wild beast with the nerve to bark orders at all hours of the day and night. Keep it up, and someday- someday, Feyre, you'll have no-one left to remember you, or to care that you ever existed."

(ACOTAR p.19)

You expect me to believe that after she was finished telling Feyre that she's not worth shit, she's going to go ahead and continue to rely solely on Feyre for money, food, and everything else they need for survival? Nah, I don't buy it.

The amount of pride this girl has tells me that she WOULD NOT allow this to happen. She'd probably rather die than contradict herself, and she'd probably rather die than have Feyre see that she's finally bringing herself down to her level by actually doing visible work, SO

Did Nesta contribute in the cottage?

We already know that Feyre is an unreliable narrator who doesn't value traditionally feminine roles, so anything that Nesta did around the cottage most likely wasn't even seen as a real contribution in Feyre's eyes.

Feyre, self admittedly can't cook, and yet how were they able to eat for the past eight or so years before she learned how to hunt and cure meat? Their father? I don't think so. I think it was a joint effort between Nesta and Elain, this seems the most likely.

Also, unless all of the Archeron sisters didn't grow at all in the last eight years, how did they all have appropriately sized clothes to wear? I doubt they had the money to buy three new sets of clothes every year, so that means that someone needed to take over the job of mending hand me downs and making sure that they fit. Again, was it Feyre? I doubt that. Their father? I really doubt that. Again, the job falls to Nesta and Elain, the two sisters who would have been taught by their mother traditionally lady-like tasks such as sewing.

That's just general contributions/ chores around the cottage, if she'd wanted to make some money, that leaves jobs that she could do during the day whilst Feyre is off hunting, such as:

Tutoring: We already know that she enjoys reading, and was highly educated by her mother and grandmother when they were alive. She could have tutored the children of the village during the day and come home in the afternoon, just in time to keep up her façade of not giving a shit for Feyre.

Embroidery/ sewing/ laundry: This comes with the lady-of-the-house education that Nesta would have received. She could have done the mending for the women of the village, or been commissioned to embroider little things on their clothes and linen, or even to make clothes/ quilts for the villagers. She would also be able to easily hide her projects/ commissions away in a basket or something that would be completely overlooked by Feyre.

Elain's flower garden: There are tonnes of flowers with medicinal properties that could be dried and sold to apothecaries for remedies, or even made into home remedies and sold straight from the cottage.

With the money earned from these jobs, she could buy food, candles, needles and thread, soap, etc etc, and just spend Feyre's 'breadwinner' money on frivolous things.

tl;dr, I find it hard to believe that Nesta simply sat on her ass for eight years and constantly belittled and bullied Feyre pretty much every single day just to rely wholly on her for her own survival. She absolutely did shit around the cottage, she just kept it a secret so that she could keep her pride.

#pro nesta archeron #pro nesta #nesta archeron

[thistle-and-thorn]

Dying to know what you thought of the goldfinch. I never read it and am very 👀

thank god you sent this because i was about to make an incredibly long, rambling post about this but now you have prompted this, it feels less unhinged to put it into the form of a solicited answer. @.@

I....have mixed feelings about GF. Like, really mixed feelings. When I was in college, I took a seminar on opera history and we studied the opera, Wozzeck, and my professor described watching it as "an act of endurance." I felt sort of similarly about The Goldfinch. Like I'm glad I read it, and I can't wait to never read it again lmao.

It's a really well-written book--God, I want to write like her--and it is a compelling story with a lot of really great moments, but I found it to be overall less thematically incisive than TSH and, though TSH had some pacing issues, especially towards the end, The Goldfinch felt much, much more uneven. There's a lot of crossover between the two novels--unreliable narrators that are closeted queer men, so much drinking, so much drugs, etc--to the point where I thought a twist would be that they were set in the same universe and that Theo's father was somehow Richard Papen. But TSH felt bolder in a way, more satirically cutting, funnier, wilder, and younger. The Goldfinch is a sadder book, unrelentingly anxious and grief-stricken. And I do think this is sort of the point and I don't criticize it for that. It did make the melodrama of the novel's conclusion feel a little...i don't know...less justified and a little more gimmicky? And anxiety is a monotonous state so I think the GF lacked the emotional texture that made TSH much less....exhausting?

The Goldfinch is DT's ode to Dickens and there a lot of nods to Dickens in both direct references and style (the book is basically like what if uriah heep from david copperfield was psychosexually obsessed with pip from great expectations). There are certainly class dynamics here, episodic adventures, varied characters, and a lot of ruminations on providence but I did keep wondering what about Dickens drew her to tell this particular story which on a surface-level seems to ruminate on the impact of beauty, as opposed to the impact of wealth. In a lot of ways, TSH, with its commentary on class and wealth, even more over-the-top characters, feels like a better fit for Victorian literary structures.

In my wild and quite honestly unfounded speculation, I think the conclusion that I have come to is that it is a really, really personal book. Dickens was an intensely personal writer who used his own experiences, including those with his difficult father and poor upbringing and young infatuations as material, even in sort of unrealistic scenarios. I made a half-joking post about Brett Easton Ellis serving as DT's muse but I think....like...that may be true? I spent a lot of time, while reading this book, googling and reading about BEE and his erratic personality, contradictory and sometimes controversial and nihilistic media statements, and drug addiction. (Something that stood out to me was that BEE said that Patrick Bateman was based on his father, which he later retracted, to say that he felt like he was more like Patrick Bateman and wrote that book from a place of intense depression and isolation and consumption. This third-eying of oneself through the lens of the father is so Theo to me.) It's an examination of a self-destructive person but feels so clearly written from the point of view of someone who loves them--there is a real tenderness in how Theo is rendered that makes me think that it is not directly autobiographical about DT's own life but is the record of someone else who is loved and who is grieved. I have no evidence of this, truly, but this is what I keep thinking.

Some random other thoughts: one thing that @attonitos-gloria and I have talked a lot about is how DT always writes from the point of view of men who desire other men but whose desire is so hidden and buried that it becomes warped and we think that this is fascinating. @.@ The women in both TSH cannot be held as whole people in the eye of the narrator, their wholeness exists but beyond the borders of the male narrators' understanding of them. I also love how DT loves places and loves things. She creates fantasias of real places that feel like they influence the narrative and I think that's really cool.

TL;DR: I thought TSH was better, but GF was more personal and thus more messy. But it won a Pulitzer so literally what do i know.

#anna is this what you wanted #i feel like i'm just screaming outside your door #the goldfinch #donna tartt #the secret history #thistle simulations