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hersurvival · 1 month

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1. Born in a hospital that's no longer around

2. Louisiana hurricane drills, my mom wasn't watching and I put a cockroach in my mouth

3. Stomach aches, leg cramps, unexplained bruises - cancer

4. If I don't make it, at least my parents have my sister and our brother

5. Remission, I started school, I walked there on my own

6. My best friend and I were separated, he knew nothing but domestic abuse

7. I had to meet weekly with a teacher, learn to control my anger

8. The new kid, making friends somehow has gotten harder

9. Middle School, in the presence of teenagers

10. The new kid, my step-dad tried to trap me upstairs

11. Depressed, the first time I held a blade to my arm

12. I'd like to leave this world now, my parents read my journal, told me I should kiss prettier girls

13. The new kid, my mother left, broke our promises, broke my heart

14. The new kid, I changed schools twice, new step-dad, all my parents do is drink, my first cigarette, my first relationship

15. We broke up, word spread, somehow now I'm a slut

16. The first time I ever got drunk, a friend of a friend of a friend assaulted me after I threw up

17. I'm found bleeding and crying on the ground away from the party, I skipped school until graduation, staying sober never lasted

18. I ran away to California, to my dad, but he only knew how to look at me with immense sadness

19. I rent my first apartment, I have a full-time job, my mother and my siblings followed me north

20. I'm a full-time student, culinary arts

21. I work all summer, trained as a cake decorator

22. I skip the ceremony but I receive my degree, find work in a restaurant

23. Quarentine, lock down, a global pandemic

24. My grandmother passes, bought a house with my partner

25. New job, new direction, certified as a forklift driver

26. I think I'm ready to get help, I'm just so scared and always so tired, who would I be if not this, though, it is all I know

27. I started medication, perhaps I'll quit smoking, I wonder if I can be good now, I want to be good now

#if my life were short chapters #not sure why I wanted to do this #but here it is #it's yours now #you are all up to date on my life #that's it #there's nothing more #poets on tumblr #writing #poem #poetry #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #spilled poem #spilled writing #original writing

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indigo6f00ff · 7 months

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need to share an experience i had 30 minutes ago

(edit: thanks to @walks-the-ages for providing and reminding me to put alt text, sorry it slips my mind alot lol)

#my hands are still shaking to be quite honest i could not put a lot of effort into this.#but like. brain. why did you do that #literally i have been like hopelessly obsessed with de nonstop thinking abt it for the past couple of days it is Scaring me #it is terminal its soooo fucking chronic #disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #for anyone who wants to know i bumped into some guys car that was stopped for a school bus. i think my brain errored and thought #my foot was fully pressing down on the brake pedal but it wasnt.#i am like 99.99 percent sure neither of us had any major damage to our cars but we still filed a police report just in case #because insurance do be a bitch. dudes back bumper was scratched lightly and my front license plate has a dent now #also literally my first ever car accident that ive had ever yippee yay

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obsob · 7 months

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the accolade ( the...the cat-olade...)

#mine #original #i cannot even begin to explain the anguish. the torment. this drawing has brought me #and i STILL dont like it. i simply cant work on it any longer i cant i cant. i must be rid of it #eating drywall as we speak #you want to know how many weeks ive worked on this. THREE. ALMOST.#you want to know how long my other cat drawings take me ?? 3 days absolute MAX #anyway. begon foul creature etc #i havent left extremely long tags for a long while hello everyone good lord there are many of you #we are going stratford this weekend very exciting #its going to be a little chilly and i want to take my new coat with me but issue its not chilly right now so i cant wear it onto the train #i do not think. i can. stuff it into my suitcase i dont think that will happen #i am sure i will figure it out #also. no longer vegan . eggs have won me over. egg egg egg.#im having to restrain myself SO hard from buying more wool i want a shawl i want a shawl #i want more cute DRESSES why are nice comfy dresses 10000£#i look on vinted and its like dresses for popping your pussy in like not. the vibe im going for thank u #anyway. im going to eat crackers now

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pollyanna-nana · 1 month

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Thistle’s last act was to revive Marcille.

Even while his desires were being fully consumed by the demon, he recognized the threat it posed and, in his final moments before ‘disappearing’, reached for Marcille’s hand. And in the process… seemingly revived her, given the winged lion’s reaction. Wagh…

Incidentally… this is also part of why Marcille and Laios say this in the second to last chapter. She needed to be revived to revive the rest of the party + break the seal on the demon (which also caused problems… but it all worked out in the end.) Man.

#polly speaks #dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #dunmeshi #delicious in dungeon #thistle dungeon meshi #laios touden #marcille donato #dungeon meta #sure I’ll make that a tag #also #thistle posting #aaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu I’m not normal.#he ended up doing good in the end…. wagh #also they want him to be ok 😭 this is why I cannot accept that he’s dead he deserves to live and get and be better

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egophiliac · 8 months

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another one that I'm not super happy with, but continuing to mess with it isn't going to help! so here he is! 🦇 there was a lot I was trying to get across in this one, so uhhhhh hopefully it reads.

we're almost out of unique magics now...just Ace (and maybe Grim?) left!

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #unique magic posters #drawing lilia slightly more on-model than i usually do feels so wrong #i just want to draw the tallest spikes #lilia: (writing down his height) 5'6“...5'2” in a hat #(actually i'm pretty sure he would just write 'fun-size' but i digress)#anyway lilia. hey lilia. your magic is not cradle-specific so WHY is it called that #did it come in like 'so in like 500-ish years we're going to have a significant moment with a cradle. just trust me bro.'#'in the meantime enjoy having the weirdest magic name ever'#probably came in useful for raising kids though #don't put that in your mouth don't you know where it's BEEN #because i do #(long stare off into middle distance) i know where it's been

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starcurtain · 28 days

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2.1 Penacony Spoilers!

I know the scene after Ratio's "betrayal" can be read a lot of ways but I am shocked I haven't seen more people interpret it as Ratio being so worried about Aventurine that he couldn't stay away even though he was supposed to.

We know:

1) Ratio absolutely knew Aventurine's plan from start to finish, both his gamble to create "death" in the dream and with the three cornerstones. (Wish people would stop underselling Ratio in their analyses; "Three chips are enough" is a direct enough clue that, genius as he is, Ratio would never miss.)

2) In his own words, Ratio was acting according to Aventurine's instructions while in Dewlight Pavilion and with Sunday and felt that he did a good job not giving them away.

I think most people are on the same page up to there, but then I've seen a lot of people interpreting this scene after Aventurine leaves Sunday's mansion as Aventurine being genuinely angry at Ratio (possibly after having gaslit himself into thinking Ratio was actually betraying him).

But this doesn't make much sense to me because:

1) Ratio actually has nothing to gain by selling Aventurine out to Sunday. They're on the same side in this mission. Information about a Stelleron on Penacony wouldn't be news anyone with a brain like Ratio's and why would he need someone else's research on Stellerons when he already has ties to the Genius Society through Screwllum and Herta, as well as the Astral Express where the Trailblazer is actively housing a Stelleron?

2) One of Aventurine's most notable lines of dialogue is how it's perfectly fine and expected for "friends" to use each other and backstab. This is his default understanding of partners--why would he suddenly be mad about something he expected from the start?

3) If the betrayal wasn't already planned and was just a possibility based on Aventurine's understanding of Ratio, why would he ever have revealed there were "three chips" (aka three cornerstones) in play? If even the betrayal over Topaz's stone wasn't planned, just assumed, why would Aventurine reveal the existence of the third stone? He would gain nothing from doing so.

Instead, I think it makes a lot more sense to interpret Aventurine's frustration with Ratio in this later scene as annoyance over Ratio taking an "unnecessary" risk:

1) As far as Sunday knows, Ratio had just very seriously betrayed Aventurine, completely selling him out and essentially sending him to his execution.

2) In the scene afterward, Aventurine is out in public in the middle of Penacony where The Family's eyes are always watching, yet Ratio walks right up to him to check on him. Why would someone who just sold you out come up to you immediately afterward to check on your health?!

3) It's only natural that Aventurine would pump the brakes and go "Wow, didn't think you'd show yourself after you just betrayed me, remember?" Because that's the act they are supposed to be keeping up! They're still being monitored; it's not safe to break character!

But Ratio is a genius, right, so why would he break character here? From the standpoint of the ploy itself, revealing to the Family that he and Aventurine were still on the same side would only jeopardize the plan, not help it.

The logical explanation, then, is that Ratio went to Aventurine here because he felt like he had to.

He had to check in and make sure the situation was still under Aventurine's control.

(In fact, the entire exchange through the middle of this scene is Aventurine and Ratio confirming the rest of their plot in a veiled manner: Ratio brings up the plan and mentions what's concealed in the gift money bag, Aventurine confirms the cornerstone is good to go; Ratio asks what his next step will be; Aventurine says he's going to do the insane thing of handing out cash while looking pathetic [aka fishing for Sparkle]. Ratio essentially asks if he's crazy enough to take the final gamble with his own life, which Aventurine confirms, and then Ratio sets them up for the finale by gifting him the doctor's note.)

Ratio was willing to risk ruining their entire plan--something Aventurine does seem to be frustrated about at first--just to ensure Aventurine still felt all right about the situation.

He needed to deliver his note demanding Aventurine stay alive.

He needed to tell Aventurine to come to him if the situation got too painful to bear.

In short, Ratio was worried enough that he could not stay away even though, for the sake of their plot, it would have made significantly more sense for him not to appear. The gain of breaking character was worth more to him than the risk of being caught.

You honestly don't even have to take this in a shipping context. The real point here is that Ratio is an incredibly good person who wasn't okay with Aventurine's self-sacrificial plan and who felt morally compelled to check on a person in pain. He's a healer through and through, and ignoring Aventurine in this condition--ignoring someone who was taking so much risk on themselves--simply wasn't possible for him, no matter the danger it posed to the plan.

But for those who do ship Ratio and Aventurine... I hope more people will come to see this scene as another example of Ratio's genuine concern for his mission partner! He did not have to appear here at all; it would have made much more sense for him to leave Aventurine to his own devices to uphold the illusion of their "betrayal." He showed up in this scene--very likely against Aventurine's expectations--because he was concerned for Aventurine's situation and wanted to ensure Aventurine knew he could fall back on Ratio's support at any time if the plan went awry.

tl;dr: I wish people would stop interpreting this scene as the aftermath of a betrayal. Aventurine wasn't ticked off with Ratio in this scene because he felt like he'd genuinely been backstabbed; he was ticked off because Ratio was literally breaking their pre-established "betrayer" character just to be fussy over Aventurine's safety and well-being. (Okay, and to double check on the plan, but let's be real, the first part was definitely more important. 👌)

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inkskinned · 11 months

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one of the things about being an educator is that you hear what parents want their kids to be able to do a lot. they want their kid to be an astronaut or a ballerina or a politician. they want them to get off that damn phone. be better about socializing. stop spending so much time indoors. learn to control their own temper. to just "fucking listen", which means to be obedient.

one of the things i learned in my pedagogy classes is that it's almost always easier to roleplay how you want someone to act. it's almost always easier to explain why a rule exists, rather than simply setting the rule and demanding adherence.

i want my kids to be kind. i want them to ask me what book they should read next, and i want to read that book with them so we can discuss it. i want my kid to be able to tell me hey that hurt my feelings without worrying i'll punish them. i want my kid to be proud of small things and come running up to me to tell me about them. i want them to say "nah, i get why this rule exists, but i get to hate it" and know that i don't need them to be grateful-for-the-roof-overhead while washing the dishes. i want them to teach me things. i want them to say - this isn't safe. i'm calling my mom and getting out of this. i want them to hear me apologize when i do fuck up; and i want them to want to come home.

the other day a parent was telling me she didn't understand why her kid "just got so angry." this woman had flown off the handle at me.

my dad - traditional catholic that he is - resents my sentiment of "gentle parenting". he says they'll grow up spoiled, horrible, pretentious. granola, he spits.

i am going to be kind to them. i am going to set the example, i think. and whatever they choose become in the meantime - i'm going to love them for it.

#writeblr #i was doing a lot with high school students. over and over again #other teachers kept asking me what i was doing differently - why the kids listened to me. i am not particularly foreboding #and i have a pretty firm personal policy of never reacting in anger #godhelpme.#i was always kind of taken aback #because in general the kids were pretty easy. i explained i needed to keep everything “PG-13” because this was my workplace #and it was kind of their workplace #too. besides #i love swearing #and since i couldn't swear #neither could they - so if they were going to say “fuck” or become violent #they needed to choose a really specific time #because we only get “the one”.. sure enough - nobody wanted to waste the one very specific “fuck” utterance. kids listened.#i think just because - that rule makes sense. the kids understand that i don't want to be unfair to them #that censorship is stupid #but that i'm under these rules too so like let's ride it out together #also i look young and tbh between me and u nobody wants to make the nice english teacher cry #the way these kids defended me to their friends was really genuinely so heartwarming bc the Grouchy Frat Boy #would be like MISS RAQUEL DOESN'T DESERVE THAT KIND OF AN ATTITUDE BRO DON'T TALK BACK TO HER

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petz5 · 6 months

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she's just so important 2 me

#ranma 1/2 #akane tendo #do i want this in my art tag??#man sure why not #art

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knifearo · 2 months

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ultimately when it comes to shipping and fandom space treatment of aspec characters i just don't accept "aro/ace people can still date/have sex" as an answer from nonaspecs. like yeah. mhm. okay. now i think we both know that you're not saying that out of real interest in the diversity of aspec experiences. so you can turn in your seventeen-page essay on why and how you plan to examine this character's aspec identity within the context of a romantic or sexual relationship complete with evidence from canon and peer reviews from multiple aspec people within the next week or i'm putting you in the pit from the edgar allen poe story

#you know. the one with the pendulum #'hey. why are you as an allo person shipping this aspec character like this'#'oh aspec people can still date/have sex!'#'yeah. now can you answer the question that i actually asked you'#like goddamn just say you don't care they're aspec and you want to fulfill a sexual/romantic fantasy with them. that's Fine #it like. sucks. for sure. lotta aspec people will be unhappy with you. but everyone is entitled to their own wants and experiences.#but i'd prefer you just be honest with it rather than using our community's conversation points as retroactive justification #and ONCE AGAIN. you guys are real fucking cavalier with this shit and it shows a real fundamental lack of respect for aspecs #when most of you would NEVER ship a canonically gay character with the 'other' gender. cause again. it would suck.#you can do it. nobody's Stopping you. but it would suck.#and we understand that putting a queer character in situations that erase that queerness is shitty! until it comes to aspec characters!#and whoa... there it is again... people don't consider aspec identities to be queer... crazy how it always comes back to that #anyway. you all know what i'm talking about. have seen many posts about this lately #it is [ long sigh ] unfortunately a very hot button issue with the advent lately of alastor hazbinhotel #which. again. god i wish there were other canon aspec characters to be having this conversation about.#but we'll have to do our best with what we have #aromantic #aromanticism #arospec #aroace #talking #aspec #asexual #asexuality

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uncanny-tranny · 7 months

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It is my sincerest and unironic belief that we must invest in preserving "old technology." The more we move to a hegemonic, easily-surveilled way of living, the worse we will find this world to be.

Letters, public phones and transport, cash, and so much more are key to ensuring both freedom of movement and information, but also to combat the surveillance state. We need to preserve the ability to both access the world but also to be untraceable. I truly hope more people start to recognize this. It isn't about nostalgia for the past. It is about ensuring that we are actually afforded freedom, from the richest person to the person who lives on the sidewalk.

#politics #i was ranting at my dad about how pissed i am that the US has essentially killed the payphone because we have smartphones #imagine killing letters because 'oough we have email though!!!'#i'm sure people advocate for abolishing mail (and i have seen it firsthand) but i don't agree with it #we must preserve freedom of movement and information and that includes making it as accessible and public as possible imo #i do not want to live in a world wherein my smartphone is both what i MUST rely on but it is also traceable 24/7/52/365 #'if you're innocent you have nothing to hide' is a fucking cop-out to permit a surveillance state by the way #it is flawed logic and i think that logic is part of the reason we got to this point #'why do you need cash? that's kind of suspicious to not LET people trace your purchases' like come ON

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myoonmii · 11 days

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I think the downright most horrific and brutal detail in the show is that Kilgharrah actually used Merlin to make sure Arthur's death happened with the pretence of protecting him

#kilgharrah when i catch you #this is why merlins “ i failed? ” destroyed me to my core #you were never supposed to succeed love #I honestly believe Kilgharrah knew Arthur was supposed to die at Camlaan and just wanted to make sure he didn't die BEFORE that #thats why he was like ooh but Merlin you must protect him and make sure he survives ( until its the convenient time)#and merlin genuinely thought he could protect Arthur until the end #say what you want about Kilgharrah and what his intentions might be behind this but this is SO FOUL #and now Merlins waiting for Arthurs return for a thousand years on Kilgharrah's word alone because thats the only hope he has #what else can he do #lets just hope he's right this time #bummed my self out with this thought while doing my class work #merlin #bbc merlin #merthur #cannot take much more of this guys send help

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andorerso · 14 days

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Rogue One + completely accurate character descriptions [x]

for @rifle-yes, I hope this is what you had in mind! 💜

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realbeefman · 8 months

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robert chase one of the characters of all time. hes blonde. he went to seminary school. he purposefully murdered a patient. he’s a vapid slut. allergic to strawberries. was caption of his college bowling team. desperately needs to be on antidepressants. he’s divorced. his ex-wife was/is in love with his dadboss. it’s heavily implied that this is part of why he married her to begin with. he’s been fired multiple times but he keeps coming back like a fucked-up obedient boomerang. he’s the best surgeon in the hospital. all this while having the personality of a sopping wet cardboard box of corn flakes that somebody poured milk into and let mildew.

#the concept for chase was #‘what if house had like. a surrogate son. and he kind of wanted to fuck him and also hes like catholic’#‘ohhh and he can be australian!’#‘why would he be australian?’#‘just cuz’#house md #robert chase #beautiful loser very virgin mary coded man #i do like chase but i find it amusing that i also find him boring #bc objectively theres no reason he should be?#hes a great character i love his story arcs i love how sarcastic he is i love how hes doomed to repeat houses fate #but compared to say. foreman? there is NOTHING #im very sure ill manage to gaslight myself into loving him later #dr robert chase #i didnt actually fact check the bowling thing. dont quote me its late

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canon-gabriel-quotes · 4 months

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wear headphones :)

Transcript:

As much as I'd love to witness more of your prowess, I'd very much like to have that body of yours.

Is that a strap-on?

Machine, I'll cover you in more than blood.

Fuck. *exhale* Shit. Fuck-God! mmmm-ohohoho. fuck. fuck. h-Harder, Machine. Mph! *whimper* Hah... Come on!

End transcription

Sorry for this. I promise this is the worst thing I'll ever post. Unless he somehow manages to do something worse.

I can't really provide the audio sources in a neat way because this is 6 clips stuck together.

#ultrakill #gabriel ultrakill #gabv1el #WEAR HEADPHONES. PLEASE. PLS. SAVE YOURSELVES.#suggestive #<- if i use a 'stronger' tag than that im 99% sure the post gets shadowbanned from showing up in the tags?#never ask me for anything ever again.#why did he say any of this #i dont know.#surely this will make people unfollow #or will it do the opposite #at this point. i have no idea #animals. all of you. ANIMALS. its ok im one too. we're in hell (together)#i didnt make the gif im sorry all i know is that its from twitter #yeah sorry for the recycled audio. i only have the 2 whimper clips...... so far.#but the actual talking parts are all new #i want to see that angel obliterated. send tweet.#smiles. evilly.#i dont know about you guys but im normal #anyway #if he somehow ever finds out about this blog im krilling all of u............. pls............#he cant know we are farming clips #(mostly joking) but yeah id prefer if this didnt spread past tumblr pls omg #we are past 700 followers now. idk what to say other than. wow.#ok surely no one is reading to this point. bottom gabe real. canon. true. thanks.#lets never speak of this again

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mumblesplash · 8 months

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heartbreaking: this viral post is saying things you completely agree with in the most irritating way possible

#mumbling #goD #thinking about that one cringing = pearl clutching post i saw a while ago #legitimately good points and the only time i’ve ever seen someone point out the linguistic shift #of ‘cringe’ going from verb to adjective and how that takes the blame off of the people DOING the cringing #like yeah! that’s it that’s the thing i’ve been trying to figure out how to say!!#the insidious shift from cringe as an action of the beholder to a property of the beheld is not only worth examining #but demonstrates a seriously important way our brains can be affected over time by language #that was something i didn’t even notice! sure it bothered me but i didn’t know how to express WHY #and i think it’s so cool to see someone finally manage to articulate smth that’s been pissing me off for years #HOWEVER #my god was op’s phrasing annoying the hell out of me for some reason #just written in such a grating writing style i couldn’t bring myself to reblog it even though i really wanted to

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kita-shinsukes-hand-holder · 11 months

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I hate you mfs that don't like Gwen after across the spider verse it smells like misogyny

#i liked her MORE after atsv #like yeah she needs to apologize to miles duh #but why is she not allowed to make mistakes without being villanized #ive heard more people talk about how bad gwen is than fucking Miguel #shes CLEARLY being influenced if not manipulated by Miguel and jess #shes only doing those things because she wants to PROTECT miles #she doesnt want what Miguel is saying to be true #like yall im p sure she fully accepted that her dad was going to die #they had to have said some shit to make her accept that #and at the end shes trying to right her wrongs #shes become such a more nuanced character than she was in the first movie #why are you guys fucking stupid #AND shes trans shes literally amazing #gwen stacy #spiderverse #spider man across the spider verse #across the spiderverse #spider gwen #marvel

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