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a-cosmic-elf · 2 months

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For the fic writer asks:

56 and 37!

This is going to be a personal one, probably long winded again, so I’ll put it under a cut.

56. Are there any fics that you would change or rewrite if given the chance?

The current version of Absolution is a rewrite. I’ve changed minor things, like how Kat used to call Seb ‘Boss’ - after a while, I found I didn’t like it. I wanted them to be closer and less formal with each other.

I also re-added in the confirmation that Yin is trans. He always has been, but I was afraid I’d get hate for it, so initially, that part had been cut. I felt brave after enlisting the help of a sensitivity reader and reinstated it for the re-write.

I don’t believe you have to ban writers from writing the ‘other’. It’s like acting. A good actor should be able to play any part, regardless of their personal experiences. Who I am really shouldn’t come into it. And if we want more inclusive and diverse stories, demanding cishets stick to only writing cishet is not going to help that cause. Careful research and enlisting sensitivity readers is the way forward.

The original version of the fic is still up but archived locked. I only got to chapter 9 before I had a falling out with my previous beta, which coincided with falling ill with depression. I wanted to die, ended up in therapy, and so on. It took a lot to return to the story after that. It was like returning to the scene of the crime. ‘Oh, and here’s where I fell ill and wanted to kill myself’ like fuuuuuck.

2020 was tough on everyone. Like many, I was already struggling, so lockdown took all of it and held it under a microscope. The most important thing is that I sought help, I’m recovering, and I started writing again. I took that opportunity to rewrite the story from scratch. I like how it’s going so far, but…

37. What fic has been the hardest for you to write?

Again, Absolution. It still feels like an impossible hill to climb, made worse by association with my illness, and it is an OC fic in a fandom notoriously hostile to OC fics. A fandom I now dislike for being a toxic dumpster fire. And the other related canon ‘Absolution’ happened.

I found it very hard to return to the Abby again after that or even speak of it. It feels wrong. Part of me wants to go back and rewrite it again, removing the ‘absolution’ part so that I don’t cringe every time I like to talk about my fic. (Notice how I rarely mention it on my blog unless asked). I’m getting better at it, but I still find it jarring. But the name is so essential, woven into the very fabric of the story. It’s the name of the goddamn ship and the theme of the entire piece. It would be very hard for me to remove it at this point.

Bioware has upset me. The whole reason I started writing it was because their narrative has more plot holes than a seventies string shopping bag. I know it’s just a big coincidence, but I feel like they stole my subtitle on purpose, and now the only reason I want to finish it is out of pure spite because I believe I can write a better story than them with one eye shut, standing on my head, dancing the Macarena. I mean, look how I’ve been able to fix their story retrospectively without touching canon events at all. It’s easy. I don’t know why they didn’t do it themselves. Canon is just asking for fic writers to fix their shit when they’ve been so blatantly incompetent. 🙄

I didn’t find it hard to come up with the story. I’m just finding it hard to care about Mass Effect these days. Or the videogame industry as a whole in recent years. It feels like just one letdown after another. Games have never exactly been award-winning sci-fi, but it has felt increasingly like the story part of game development has meant less and less to developers over the years. They now sacrifice everything - story, most of all - just to get something out of the door. It’s depressing.

Sorry to end on such a bum note. It’s always going to be angsty talking about which fics were the hardest.

I am still committed to finishing Absolution. Spite alone is a powerful motivator, but your and other’s support makes the struggles worthwhile.

I’m sorry I haven’t got back onto AO3 this week. I prefer using it on the laptop, and I just haven’t had a chance to switch it on. I also wanted to pace myself, savouring all your lovely comments because I rarely have so much interest in my work.

I would have replied earlier this evening, but I had to lie down with a headache. Whew, it’s been a tough day. My head still hurts.

Thank you for the ask! I wanted to make sure that I at least reply here! Feel free to ask about the Abby any time. I am working on chapter 17. It’s just been a slow process because of, you know, everything above. It kind of kills the creative process. Talking about it with fellow readers and writers reignites that spark, so thank you from the bottom of my heart. 🙏🏼💕🥰

#writing asks #Fic writing asks #ask game #cosmic chats #cosmic writes #asks and answers #✨💕💕🙏🏼🥰#once again I’ll send out some asks tomorrow if you’d like one #let me know #i’m just so tired and sore and need to sleep #love and hugs to you all #mutuals 💜#tw depression #tw sui ideation #mental health recovery

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mareenavee · 11 months

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*grabby hands* Teeth+Fire for the dragon themed writing ask!

Hello :D Thank you for the enthusiasm!

Dragon Asks for my fic: The World on Our Shoulders!

Ask game is here.

Without further ado~

Teeth: share a snippet that was difficult for you to nail down/required a lot of revisions.

Oooh this is the question I was hoping for!! I'll preface this by stating that the whole first third of my fic was completely different when I first posted it. I'll share a snippet I waffled over for quite awhile during that revision, because I wanted this character's voice to come forward a bit in the narrative, where appropriate.

Here's a fragment from the already-published Chapter 8:

Athis got up and walked to the cupboard near the door. He fished through one of the drawers and pulled out a handful of letters. None of the more recent ones had anything overly private written in them. He didn’t actually remember her writing anything like that at all. Not even the barest compliments, especially recently. He lined the leaves of parchment up one by one on the table, so Farkas could read.

Each letter seemed shorter than the last. There were less and less terms of endearment, and lately, they rather read as a recap of things that had been accomplished. In the most recent one from over four months ago, she didn’t even mention how she felt about all that had occurred. And woven throughout, her hireling’s name showed up. She and Teldryn adventuring around the province. She and Teldryn saving people from Daedric influences. She and Teldryn clearing out a fort for the war effort. Teldryn, always Teldryn, showing up in his place by her side. Surely she had gotten her money’s worth of help from him by now. Surely he would have wanted new work at this point, sellsword that he was. But no. He was always there, stuck in her shadow. Was he happy to be there? Did she pick him because he’d fall in line in ways Athis couldn’t? She wasn’t like that…was she? Farkas gave him a sideways look and cleared his throat.

“I don’t like reading, and even I can see where you might be concerned,” he admitted. “But you have to remember. This is our Nyenna. She’s the sweetest person to ever live. And she loves you. I saw it with my own two eyes. I was at your wedding, remember?” Athis sighed as he gathered up the papers. Farkas was too optimistic for conversations like these. He wanted someone to commiserate with, if he was being honest with himself.

“I remember,” he said softly. “But maybe a destiny like hers siphons out the sweetness until there’s nothing left.”

“No. I won’t believe that about her,” Farkas decided, setting his mug down on the table. “You and I both know how strong that girl is.”

“Strength and love are two separate things,” Athis said, almost to himself. He and Nyenna had talked around that point before. Never resolved it, really. He folded the letter he had been glancing at and moved to put them all away. The truth was he didn’t remember who he was supposed to be without her. Each day, it was getting more foggy no matter how hard he tried. Farkas got up from the table and clapped him on the shoulder, drawing him out of his thoughts.

“C’mon. Let’s go kill a few bears. Maybe that will make you feel better,” he said.

Fire: share a snippet with some dialogue you’d like to show off.

I really enjoy writing dialogue in general!! I have a lot of it in my story to pick from but I'll give a fragment of something yet unpublished for this part. A bit of a longer bar conversation from chapter 19, perhaps not final :

“You didn’t have to buy me food here, you know. You saw that I can cover expenses,” she said, tearing a small chunk off of hers absently. Teldryn shrugged and bit into his dessert like it was an apple. He left the crumbs in his sparse beard.

“You seemed to be having a hard time. Nothing a sweetroll can’t fix, I figured. Want to talk about it?” he offered. Nyenna gave him an apprehensive look. She didn’t really want to talk to him particularly about all her nonsense, but if she didn’t, it would be harder to focus moving forward with all that had to be done in the next few days.

“No. But I’ll tell you anyway,” she said, eating the piece of sweetroll before continuing. “I…was not the best wife. I ran away in the middle of the night. It was unkind. I knew it was when I did it, but just like he followed me into battle with a dragon, I knew if I didn’t simply go, he’d turn his back in another horrible situation all because of me. And after everything I’ve been through, I just…I guess I couldn’t handle watching him get injured again. Or worse, as it sometimes goes with dragons.”

“That makes sense, though. Is he not much of a fighter?” Teldryn postured, sitting up straighter.

“He’s a Companion. I told you, remember?” she said. Teldryn nodded. “But I surpassed him in skills a while ago, according to our new Harbinger. Not that I’m officially a Companion, myself…but I am a Mage. I suppose the fighting styles would have always varied and split after some time, anyway. I have a feeling he could improve, but he’s either too stubborn to learn new methods or doesn’t value training like everyone else. Even I know I lack a lot of skill, so I do what I can to improve.”

“None of that is your fault,” Teldryn said, dropping the half-way sarcastic tone he usually used. “You can’t blame yourself for the decisions of others. He clearly wanted to fight by your side. Whether he is prepared for that kind of job is on him.”

“I know,” Nyenna said morosely. “I just feel terrible.”

“Is he at least kind to you?” Teldryn asked. “I – I mean if that’s not too personal a question. Because if he isn’t, you did just hire someone to protect you. Just saying.”

“It’s fine. Thank you, but no, it’s nothing like that, thank the Gods. No, he has always been kind. He saved my life once, actually, before the whole Dragonborn thing. We just…we did the Nord custom of hopping into marriage. And then the destiny thing happened and it changed so much about how our lives would have to be. Then he got hurt trying to adjust to what I am now tasked to do. I’m sure you can see my conflict,” Nyenna said. While the chivalry was touching, she couldn’t help but wonder how many people he’d had to protect from unkind spouses in order to jump to such a conclusion. It was sad in a way she couldn’t place.

“Nords and their baffling customs,” Teldryn scoffed. “But I can see what you’re saying. It seems overwhelming, even to me, who couldn’t care less.” Nyenna laughed, but she was sure there was still bitterness behind it.

“He’s not even a Nord. He’s a Dunmer,” she admitted.

“Then you’re both insane, I take it all back. Mer have lengthy marriage customs for a reason,” Teldryn said laughing jovially. He flashed a knowing grin, like he won a prize for understanding she had a type and that he probably fit. She pretended she didn’t see it, even as she felt her face go scarlet. He let out a low chuckle when she went back to writing her own address and refused to acknowledge him. “But it actually makes me want to visit Whiterun, and see these Companions if they’ll let Mer in.”

“Whiterun is nice, yes. Before everything, I built a beautiful home there. Things were simple. Do work, get paid, go home. Be merry. Now it’s all bottle up all your emotions, sacrifice your happiness, save the world… The stress, sometimes,” Nyenna said, pausing for another bite of sweetroll. “Some days I wish I could go back in time. But then, times like now? In a different land, gearing up to go see things I’ve never seen before? It feels somehow…right.”

“It sounds like adventure calls to you,” Teldryn commented. “It wouldn’t be wrong to heed it.” Nyenna looked at him thoughtfully. This foolish sellsword, however bold he was, did have a certain charm. Sometimes, it seemed, he could say just the right thing.

“Can I ask you something?” Nyenna said, sighing as she finished the last of her Sujamma. She folded her letter and tucked it into its envelope. She opened the door to her lantern and melted a stick of red wax over the flame. She pressed it to the parchment and sealed the letter closed without any kind of sigil. The tiny iron hinges squeaked as she closed the lantern again, a strange sound in a tavern that felt a little too empty.

“Yeah, sure.”

“What would you do in my situation? I’ve been feeling a bit unmoored. Like I keep making the wrong choice, every single time, and am drifting further away from my own life. Like I have no idea what I’m really doing,” she asked quietly. She capped the glass bottle of iron gall ink that Geldis had lent her and pushed it back across the bar with the quill and sealing wax. Teldryn frowned, looking into the distance thoughtfully. He sighed and turned again to face her.

“You’ve got this heavy burden of responsibility already. I imagine it’s not easy. And it will tear you away from everything you’ve built, especially as more people find out who you are and what you can do, or as you realize how powerful you are. I wouldn’t blame you for trying to salvage something normal, even if it meant running away,” he said after a moment. He paused to sip his own drink. “I suppose I’d probably do the same. As I said, I don’t think it was the wrong choice. Maybe it hurts, sure. But the pain today buys the comfort of knowing your family will be there for you when you return later.” Nyenna noticed his voice sounded sad when he spoke. He frowned deeply, looking into his mug.

Thank you for letting me ramble and share bits of the fic (: I appreciate it!!!

#AskMareena #MareenaWrites #Skyrim #Nyenna #The World On Our Shoulders #Athis #Teldryn Sero #LDB/Teldryn Sero #LDB/Athis #tesblr #writeblr #fanficblr #skyrim fanfiction #skyrim fanfic #skyrim fic #fanfiction #fanfic #fic

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septembersghost · 2 years

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Would love to read your thoughts about the narrative within red that you mentioned in one of your previous posts… please tell us more! 🤍

okay so, this has existed in my head for nearly a decade! let me see if i can even explain it properly (i might have to dig up something i wrote a few years ago, but never shared on tumblr). 💖💖💖💖 this is focused on the central tracklist, State of Grace - Begin Again, because while i love and adore the bonus/vault tracks, those sixteen songs are what tell the story for me.

last year, when taylor announced red tv, she wrote:

"The heartbroken might go through thousands of micro-emotions a day trying to figure out how to get through it without picking up the phone to hear that old familiar voice. In the land of heartbreak, moments of strength, independence, and devil-may-care rebellion are intricately woven together with grief, paralyzing vulnerability and hopelessness. Imagining your future might always take you on a detour back to the past...Musically and lyrically, Red resembled a heartbroken person. It was all over the place, a fractured mosaic of feelings that somehow all fit together in the end. Happy, free, confused, lonely, devastated, euphoric, wild, and tortured by memories past."

and that struck the chord beautifully for me, because it's always how i've envisioned and understood the story of the album, and its rollercoaster of sounds and emotions.

we begin the story with the anthemic opener of State of Grace, which has almost a sense of wonderment and euphoria in experiencing the world, those drums like a heartbeat, and it sets up the thesis of the record - it's like a prologue. we fall in love 'til it hurts or bleeds or fades in time. and I never saw you coming, and I'll never be the same. it also has this transcendent sort of faith in it - the heartbreak has already happened, but she's telling us what it's worth. this is a state of grace, this is the worthwhile fight. love is a ruthless game, unless you play it good and right. these are the hands of fate, you're my Achilles' heel. this is the golden age of something good, and right, and real.

then we dovetail into Red, and it's like a flashback and a flashforward, reflecting on what's happened as a whole, while also serving as a set up for the rest of the story to unfold. she's already compared this love to a cannonball, and now to driving down a dead end street, so we feel this overwhelming rush. faster than the wind, passionate as sin. she sets everything up for the ups and downs. losing him was blue...but loving him was red.

Treacherous is like a snapshot of the first part of their story. she's discovered this tenuous, dangerous, unstoppable force that she's fallen in love with, even knowing it's reckless. I can't decide if it's a choice getting swept away. I hear the sound of my own voice, asking you to stay. and all we are is skin and bone, trained to get along. forever going with the flow, but you're friction. she takes the risk, and when it ends up being as treacherous as expected, she berates herself for not knowing better, even though she saw his red flags, like i mentioned in the other post (I knew you were trouble...and I realize the blame is on me), and it sounds chaotic because she's struggling.

the worst of the heartbreak happens with the entirety of All Too Well, and i could write about ATW forever, but i think we all know its power! she's going over and over what happened, asserting her own memory (I was there, I remember it), while also being strong and insistent that he knew it too (you told me 'bout your past thinking your future was me...back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known...wind in my hair, you were there, you remember it all, down the stairs, you were there, you remember it all...), and desperately trying to put together the pieces of what's happened (just to break me like a promise, so casually cruel in the name of being honest...I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it). she knows what she felt, she knows it was real, and rare, and it was sacred to her.

how do you come away from that pain? be with friends and just try to forget it all (make fun of our exes). it's also important that 22 follows ATW because of what happened at her 21st birthday. it's supposed to be fun - so she reclaims that next year instead.

but the pull of that love is still there, still inescapable, still in her mind in the night. she has to stop herself from reaching out to him. we made quite a mess, babe. it's probably better off this way...and I just wanna tell you, it takes everything in me not to call you. and I wish I could run to you. and I hope you know that every time I don't, I almost do. she even uses it to foreshadow "never ever" - I bet it never, ever occurred to you that I can't say "hello" to you and risk another goodbye, until finally she realizes, no, this can never work, there's too much hurt for it to ever be okay (WANEGBT - then you come around again and say, "baby, I miss you, and I swear I'm gonna change, trust me." remember how that lasted for a day?).

then Stay Stay Stay is the daydream, where she's picturing what could be, if someone would stay, someone who would take her for all she is (you took the time to memorize me, my fears, my hopes and dreams, I just like hanging out with you all the time. all those times that you didn't leave, it's been occurring to me - I'd like to hang out with you for my whole life). it's like a transition from the climactic, powerful heartbreak into something else.

The Last Time is the final realization of why some things are too broken to be fixed (you wear your best apology, but I was there to watch you leave).

Holy Ground is a recognition of healing, and realizing that's possible. it's a joyful reminiscing of a whole other romance of the past, wistful with a tiny bit of new wishful thinking creeping in too, and she brings back in the love as spirituality theme that exists in State of Grace (and, as we now know, in ATW10). it's so important because it contains recovery. it was good never looking down, and right there where we stood, was holy ground...tonight I'm gonna dance for all that we've been through.

Sad Beautiful Tragic is also a reminiscence, but a much more regretful one, and one where they were both wrong at times (and time is taking its sweet time erasing you. and you've got your demons, and darling they all look like me). she's still trying to understand why something beautiful and magical could come with such agony, how to reconcile that. it's tied back to ATW (time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it), but this time she's trying to let go (for the life of us we can't get back). the reason those memories are being stirred up is because of the difficulty she's having in processing and putting away what happened in the story of ATW, but if she can celebrate one, and feel a sense of catharsis, maybe it's beginning to get better.

The Lucky One shifts to a new perspective, one much more on personal identity (though the difficulty of finding an honest love still comes up - and your lover in the foyer don't even know you), and how everything can seemingly be going right, everyone can tell you that you're pretty and lucky, but you can still feel betrayed and alone (and they tell you that you're lucky, but you're so confused, 'cause you don't feel pretty, you just feel used). the subject of the song took the money and your dignity and got the hell out, and she's thinking maybe that's the right choice, because the atmosphere has become oppressive, filled with hollow praise and memories of past love and the people who left.

then light streams back in, and everything changes, and she finds there's still room to fall in love again (so dust off your highest hopes) and every time she discovers it anew, there's a leap of faith in it (all I know is a newfound grace). she finds a way to believe and to dance again (Starlight has outside inspiration, but it's also a big moment of recovery on the record, dreaming impossible dreams.)

Begin Again closes the story with an exhale, a new beginning, something simple, and kind, and hopeful. there is a chance to heal, and there is a way to find yourself again, and to embrace your passion and happiness, and there will be someone who listens, and never mocks your dreams, and looks at you like a treasure. and even if that doesn't last, there's the hope someday it will. she's been through all this pain and tumult, and she learns to value herself again, and to open her heart and trust again. she's finally able to stop dragging herself back through the shattered glass of what was, to be in a new sparkling moment. for the first time what's past is past ...I think it's strange that you think I'm funny 'cause he never did. I've been spending the last eight months thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end. but on a Wednesday, in a cafe I watched it begin again.

it's always been almost like a book set to music for me, where every chapter represents these watercolor moments she's experienced, until she emerges on the other side, not unbroken, but still shining.

ultimately, then, the narrative loops right back to State of Grace as well, because it's a love story, and a healing journey, and a reflection on everything love is, and what we hope love can be. we grow and fall and mend, and we remake love anew over and over again, and it's always a little bit painful, and it's always a little bit brave, and we whisper a little prayer that maybe someday, someone will clasp our hand and cherish the whole of us.

"when the dust settled, it was something I’d never take back. Because there is something to be said for being young and needing someone so badly, you jump in head first without looking. And there’s something to be learned from waiting all day for a train that’s never coming. And there’s something to be proud of about moving on and realizing that real love shines golden like starlight, and doesn’t fade or spontaneously combust. Maybe I’ll write a whole album about that kind of love if I ever find it."

we learn to live with the pain, mosaic broken hearts.

but this love is brave and wild.

and that, to me, is Red.

#this took me forever i hope it makes sense! it's definitely an aspect of why red is so so special and important to me #it's such a whole story in its ups and downs and its brokenness and its healing #taylor swift #red #tonight i'm gonna dance for all that we've been through #red tv #elenaferrante #letterbox #thank you for asking sweetheart!#*

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smokeybrandcompositions · 2 months

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Comeuppance

It feels like there has been a season of reckoning lately, like the pendulum has started to swing the other way in terms of old grievances and accountability. I’ve noticed it for a while, but it’s become more and more recognizable in the wild, since the whole Katt Williams/Club Shay Shay situation. If you’ve been living under a rock these past few weeks, Katt Williams basically went on Shannon Sharpe’s podcast and bombed out the entire comedy game. He sent shots to everyone; Kevin Heart, Steve Harvey, Tyler Perry, and Cedric the Entertainer. Hell, even Ludacris caught a stray and he was just existing. It was wild to see. The thing is, though, Katt has been saying the same goddamn thing for years. He’s been screaming about this same bullsh*t, for decades now. He’s been showing the same receipts for just as long. Obviously, there’s hyperbole in there, no one is reading three thousand books in a summer and I doubt mans can run a four flat at his age, but woven in all that blowhard bravado is real truth. Steve Harvey is a scumbag who stole Mark Curry’s entire career. Cedric the Entertainer did steal his joke. I don’t buy into the whole “Illuminati” sh*t but I wouldn’t discredit it all that much either. The Skull and Bones exist. So do the Free Masons. And black people are notorious for gate keeping It has long since been established that Oprah absolutely does not have the best interest of her people at heart and Tyler Perry is right up there with her. Mo’nique literally proved that with her Shay Shay expose. Like, she got Tyler Perry, on tape, admitting to and apologizing for, purposefully sabotaging her career. She also called out Kevin Hart for being a snake and Oprah for just being terrible to black people in general. Again, all sh*t she’s said before, for decades, but now, apparently, people are paying attention. They’re seeing the other side to the story and not just blindly following the narrative of the powerful. The entitlement is coming home to roost and it’s wild to see.

As a LAker fan, watching my team play the way they do is rough. I blame LeBron James. Wherever that dude goes, chemistry and coaching issues follow. Being “King James”, he has a certain amount of pull in the NBA, often exerting that leverage in very, personally benefiting, ways, the team be damned. We watched that sh*t in Cleveland the first time. Definitely saw it in Miami. More than witnessed it on the Cavs the second time around. Then it happened to my darling LAkers. LeBron has forced us to trade away strong assets to get AD, (which I’m not too upset about), has us mortgage our future with just SO many picks in an effort to build a “win now” team for him, handcuffed Pelinka into making terrible f*cking trades (Westbrick was a disaster for us), and cost us the best coach we’ve had since Jackson in Frank Vogel. All for a single Bubble championship. James has been doing this sh*t his entire career but, apparently, no longer. Pelinka made no moves at the deadline. He kept the assets we have. D.Lo is still a LAker and AR15 is developing into a proper leader. A few nights back, Bron and Ad sat out against, arguably, the best team in the league and thoroughly trounced Boston. More than that, these kids played ball with joy. They trusted each other. They were a team. That ball moved effortlessly to where it needed to go. They proved that we do not need James, or AD for that matter, and it’s thrown a wrench in James’ usually plans. His cryptic and childish tweeting fell on deaf ears. Rocking that Knicks towel moved no needles. Demanding that Darvin Ham be fired only got him a single game benching. Sh*t is not going the way it usually does and the “King” is hating that no one is recognizing his crown. I imagine James is feeling some kind of way because this is the first time in his career a franchise has properly told him “No.” We missed out on some solid trades and lost a ton of draft capital but, you know, better late than never. Speaking of…

Yo, Puff Daddy is going to f*cking prison! Never mind the stuff with Tupac and what not, though that sh*t is a whole situation prime for a deep dive, Cassie absolutely exposed dude! She got him on the hook for millions, forcing dude to sign over all the Masters he was holding to their respective artists, with a little bit of NDA incentive. Like, cats have been quietly suspect of Diddy for years. They were saying sh*t out loud, but not really pointing fingers, you know? I mean, 50 was but he built different. There was this air of invulnerability around Sean, one that has been three since the Nineties. Dude has been bulletproof since he “allegedly” had BIG killed because he was trying to get of Bad Boy. I mean, that was proven to be false, sort off. BIG was killed in retaliation for the Tupac hit; The one Diddy is being looked at for as we speak! But, again, that’s not what this is about. This is about how predatory this dude is, and has been, for years. Cats have been saying mans was weird. Rumors about him and Usher. Him and Fab. Up and coming artists, being raped in limos. Taking dudes “shopping.” Have all male orgies and sh*t. I’m over here asking what the f*ck Farnsworth know and why he fell of the face of the earth? Diddy is a devil in the music industry and Cassie has brought that violent asshole into the light. Cats are straight up telling on this man and sh*t is getting bad. We now know, for a fact, he is abusive. We now know, for a fact, he blew up Cudi’s car over Cassie. She has alluded to Diddy being responsible for Kim Porter’s death, among other, various, bodies. All things that have been whispered for years but never taken seriously. Now, after that multi-million dollar settlement, which is a low key admission of guilt, no one is afraid of the Big Bad Diddy. Everyone is coming to blow this man’s house down.

The big one for me, though, is how the entire international community, save the whitest countries in the union with the exceptions of Ireland, have completely turned on Israel. If you know me, you know I’m no fan of the Zionist State. I don’t see the difference between that, end European Imperialism. Neither should you, the sh*t goes hand in hand. It’s weird to me that everyone in “Western Civilization” (that’s code for white people), turn a blind eye to the atrocities these Ashkenazi assholes have been committing against Palestinians for decades. It’s like, just because the Holocaust happened to them, it’s fine if they do it to someone else. I’m not kidding about that, either. Germany has basically said as much. Now, them, the Germans, I can give a pass to for all of that Israel propaganda. They have a VERY deep seeded responsibility for a lot of what these assholes get away with, but everyone else? Like, Netanyahu has basically turned Israel into a Radical Jewish Terrorist State. and no one in the Western media cares. That’s not the narrative. Israel isn’t committing a genocide against the brown people who have lived on that land for centuries. I cannot tell you how frustrating it was to watch people defend Israel for committing actual war crimes and crimes against humanity, because if you didn’t, you were an anti-Semite. I mean, I could, because it happened to me, but lately? Not so much. Lately, cats are seeing Israel how I have seen them for most of my life. And the Hague agrees. The youngsters, agree. A lot more of my generation, agrees. Calls for a ceasefire have been ringing for months. People are heckling Biden, demanding action to stop this Zionist blood lust This is the first time, in my lifetime, that Israel isn’t getting away with their bullsh*t. People are doing things about it. Yemen is blockading supply shipments. Djibouti told the US to f*ck off when they wanted to install arms in their territory to bully Yemen into stopping their siege. Ireland has been acting a fool, calling out everyone in the EU who has backs the radical Israel regime, to their faces, even going so far as to disown Biden from his heritage. It’s nuts to see the chickens coming home to roost. There has been a shift in perception, sparks of rebelling against the narrative, flying across the globe. I am mad curious what’s going to happen in the future but, for the first time in a long time, I’m not so nihilistic about what comes next.

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smokeybrand · 2 months

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Comeuppance

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weirwoodking · 3 years

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who do you think will be on the throne at the end? is there a chance it will be a woman? do you agree with the theory that bran will be king in the north bc he symbolizes winterfell? idk if i see dany on the throne bc i don't feel like she belongs in westeros, i think she would be better off with a throne on the other side of the narrow sea but i really don't know what i'm saying

It’s very hard to make predictions for ADOS, because we don’t have TWOW yet. So much can change about the story and the characters in one book, thematically and narratively. Think of how much the plot was influenced by just that final Bran chapter in ADWD.

But, here I go anyway.

My short answer is: no one. (And no, I don’t mean Arya)

Let’s get into it.

Part 1: How the Show Tainted Everyone’s Brains

Obviously, a lot of people care about the Iron Throne plot. Sometimes too much. I do believe that this is mostly because of how much the HBO show changed everything about the story to make the Iron Throne seem like it was more important than anything else. Like promotional posters of all the actors each sitting on the throne, the name of the series itself being changed to “Game of Thrones”, actors getting asked in every interview “who do you think should get the Iron Throne?” as if it’s the last cupcake at a birthday party that everyone’s fighting over, the final episode was titled “The Iron Throne”. The marketing for everything was “it’s the fight for the Throne!” up through the eighth season. It made the object itself become a huge pop culture symbol.

It almost felt like the show was trying to make it seem like the goal of the Night King (a character not in the books) was to sit on the Iron Throne! The show portrayed it as if the Others were just a little distraction that needed to be dealt with so the characters could get back to arguing over the Porcupine Chair. However, in ASOIAF, it’s the exact opposite. The Porcupine Chair is what’s distracting the characters from the real conflict, the Others.

It’s almost comical how that has somewhat transferred over into the fandom, the “game of thrones” is what’s keeping everyone from focusing on what really matters, the “song of ice and fire”.

Part 2: GRRM’s Quote

It wasn't easy for me. I didn't want to give away my books. Every character has a different end. I told them who would be on the Iron Throne, and I told them some big twists like Hodor and "hold the door", and Stannis' decision to burn his daughter. We didn't get to everybody by any means.

-George R.R. Martin

So, he “told them who would be on the Iron Throne”. Something important about this quote is that he doesn’t say who. And, of course, the Iron Throne gets destroyed at the end of the show anyway. Show!Bran doesn’t really “end up on the Iron Throne”. Show!Dany does. George never said that who “ends up” on it in the books is who ends up on it in the show. He’s said that the Shireen thing and the Hodor thing will “happen very differently” in the books anyway. And, of course, another major part of that quote is “every character has a different end”.

I don’t think that who sits the Iron Throne last is necessarily going to be the ruler of Westeros at the end. For example, Cersei (or Aegon) may be the last person to sit the Iron Throne. Or even Euron (however, even though his goal is to rule post-apocalyptic Westeros as a god from the Iron Throne, I don’t think he’ll actually get there). If wildfire is hot enough to melt iron, I could see the throne being destroyed during whatever fiery shenanigans go down with Cersei and JonCon in TWOW. I think it would be fitting for the fight over the throne to end in the next book. ‘Cause the winds of winter are coming, baby, and it’s gonna be time to start dreaming of spring.

Part 3: The Weirwood King

The idea/theory of Bran becoming King has been around for a long time, long before the HBO show even started airing. This is because of the Celtic myth of King Brân the Blessed, whose name means “Blessed Crow” or “Blessed Raven” in Welsh. Other than the obvious connection with the name, Brân the Blessed’s story involves a magic cauldron that can bring the dead back to life.

In the myth, Brân’s head is cut off and continues talking (think of how Bran’s most powerful aspect is the magical powers of his mind), because in Celtic mythology the head is believed to be where the soul is.

Celts had a reputation as head hunters. According to Paul Jacobsthal, "Amongst the Celts the human head was venerated above all else, since the head was to the Celt the soul, centre of the emotions as well as of life itself, a symbol of divinity and of the powers of the otherworld." (source)

Catch that? “Otherworld”. There is another myth (Irish, specifically) called the Voyage of Bran, in which the title character goes on a quest to the Otherworld. The Otherworld is a supernatural realm in Celtic mythology. It is also where the sidhe (a.k.a. aos sí) live. Remember, the sidhe are what George has said the Others are inspired by. In Irish mythology, the Otherworld is called Tír na nÓg, Mag Mell and Emain Ablach, in Welsh mythology it’s called Annwn, and in Arthurian legend it’s called Avalon. Fun fact, “Avalon” was the title of the novel George was writing when he had suddenly had the idea of a scene in which a young boy and his brothers see a beheading and then find a litter of direwolf pups in the snow. And so ASOIAF happened.

I’ll leave that there, and try not to go down the great big rabbit-hole of Celtic (and other cultures) mythology connections in ASOIAF. The takeaway is: ASOIAF has been influenced by these myths.

I do believe that Bran is going to be King. Not just because of his ties to this mythology, but also because of symbolism in his own story. The most notable one being…

Under the hill, the broken boy sat upon a weirwood throne, listening to whispers in the dark as ravens walked up and down his arms.

[...]

The singers made Bran a throne of his own, like the one Lord Brynden sat, white weirwood flecked with red, dead branches woven through living roots.

[...]

His father and the black pool and the godswood faded and were gone and he was back in the cavern, the pale thick roots of his weirwood throne cradling his limbs as a mother does a child.

- Bran III, A Dance with Dragons

Bran is also the only one of the Stark kids who still thinks of himself as royalty:

What was he now? Only Bran the broken boy, Brandon of House Stark, prince of a lost kingdom, lord of a burned castle, heir to ruins.

- Bran III, A Dance with Dragons

Bran is the heir to Winterfell. It doesn’t matter if Robb named Jon his heir in his will, the will was written under the pretense that Bran and Rickon were dead.

However, Bran doesn’t have any connection to the Iron Throne. It’s far more likely that he would sit on a weirwood throne, because of, y’know, everything about his story. So, if Bran was King of the Seven Kingdoms, I don’t think it would be on the Pincushion Stool.

If Bran is king of the realm, I do think there would still be a separate Lord/Lady of Winterfell, but I do think that there’s a possibility of a Pevensie siblings ending, where all the Stark kids would rule together as the Lords and Ladies and Winterfell.

Something that I’ve never really seen talked about regarding the idea of Bran becoming King of the Seven Kingdoms is the religious differences between the North and the southern regions of Westeros. Of course, the show didn’t deal with this at all. For fuck’s sake, they had Cersei blow up the Westerosi verison of the Vatican and face no backlash. It was so laughably absurd how Show!Cersei’s destructive reign was shown to have like… zero impact on the Seven Kingdoms.

In short, I’m not too sure that the Kingdom who is majority Faith of the Seven worshippers would react too well to a weirwood-tree-Old-Gods-warg-wizard-king. I mean, when Janos Slynt finds out Jon is a warg he calls him a “thing”, a “creature”, and a “beastling that is not fit to live”, and wanted to execute him not just for being a turncloak but for being a warg as well. And Jojen warns Bran of these things, saying that his own folk may want to kill him if they know what he is.

But… all of that anti-magic attitude might not matter after night falls.

Part 4: Winter is Coming

I believe that the Long Night is going to be very devastating for the Seven Kingdoms.

Martin is a big believer in making things have meaningful, permanent consequences in his stories. I don’t think that an apocalyptic event like the Long Night is something that’s just gonna get dealt with in a quick snap and have no lasting effect.

A lot of people are going to die. I don’t mean main characters, I mean people that would not survive a normal winter and sure as hell won’t be prepared for this one. Westeros’s food stores have been severely depleted by the War of the Five Kings, and we’ve been told multiple times in the text (particularly AFFC and ADWD) that feeding people during this winter is going to be extremely hard.

Besides that… the whole, uh, invasion of the eldritch ice beings thing might have a bit of an impact on the realm.

I won’t go into depth about how the Seven Kingdoms will be affected by the Long Night, ‘cause we really have no idea. But, however it all goes down, I do think it will have lasting changes for the people of Westeros. The impact that it leaves may make the concept of Bran being a wizard-king more acceptable. “Oh, well we’ve just seen zombies and winter elves, so what’s too surprising about a magical greenseer warg king?” I think that Westerosi culture becoming more aware and accepting of the existence of magic is the only way that Bran could become the king of the whole realm. The Westeros at the end of the series is not going to be the place that it was at the beginning.

Part 5: Dany: A Home, Not a Throne

To sum up my thoughts on our dragon girl, I don’t think Dany will end up on the Spiky Toilet. I don’t want Dany to be on the Spiky Toilet.

Now, my personal speculation (which a lot of people disagree with, which is fine) is that Dany will never see King’s Landing before the Long Night. I personally don’t think that Dany will ever meet Aegon or Cersei. I don’t see there being enough time in the story for that. Yes, GRRM said that there will be a second Dance of the Dragons, but he also said that the second Dance does not have to involve Dany. He may have originally planned for it to be Aegon and Dany, but probably not once the Meereenese Knot happened.

The Meereenese Knot is what Dany’s ADWD plot is referred to as. GRRM did not intend for Dany to stay in Meereen as long as she has, but because of his “gardener” style of writing, that’s where the story led him. GRRM has said that one of the hardest parts of writing the Meereen plotline (which involves Dany, Barristan, Quentyn, Tyrion, and Victarion) is trying to find a way to cut the plot knot he accidentally got himself stuck in. He has said that Tyrion and Dany will meet towards the end of TWOW, which means that Dany will most likely be spending a large portion of her story with the Dothraki. That part is a completely blank page, but I believe that Dany will meet Tyrion possibly ¾ of the way into the book, and sail for Westeros at the end.

I won’t write a full meta about this here (because that’s not what this post is about), but to summarize my prediction: Aegon VS Cersei is going to be the battle in King’s Landing, a battle which will destroy the city. Dany (who has already rejected sailing for the Throne multiple times) will still be stuck in Essos, dealing with everything she’s still got going on, and will sail for Westeros at the end. Not for the Throne, but to go North for the real fight (remember that Marwyn is also on his way to Meereen to tell Dany that they need her).

Because Dany's purpose is not to fight for the Iron Throne, it’s to fight the Others. Dany (fire, light, and life) VS the Others (ice, darkness, and death) is the main thing the title refers to:

“Well of course the two outlying ones, the things that are going on north of the Wall and Daenerys Targaryen on the other continent with her dragons are of course the Ice and Fire of the title, the Song of Ice and Fire.”

- George R.R. Martin, 2016

One of the most important excerpts that shows us where Dany’s story is headed is this:

That night she dreamt that she was Rhaegar, riding to the Trident. But she was mounted on a dragon, not a horse. When she saw the Usurper's rebel host across the river they were armored all in ice, but she bathed them in dragonfire and they melted away like dew and turned the Trident into a torrent. Some small part of her knew that she was dreaming, but another part exulted. This is how it was meant to be. The other was a nightmare, and I have only now awakened.

- Daenerys III, A Storm a Swords

Dany has a short prophetic “this is what I was meant to do” dream. Dany could possibly have more dreams about the Others in TWOW, visions that will make what Marwyn has to tell her more believable. It’s not like that dream was the only one Dany has had that alludes to the winter threat, Dany has had visions about this since book one:

The red door was so far ahead of her, and she could feel the icy breath behind, sweeping up on her. If it caught her she would die a death that was more than death, howling forever alone in the darkness. She began to run.

- Dany IX, A Game of Thrones

Anyway, there’s just a lot more foreshadowing in the plot that this is what Dany is meant to do. I think adding in another conflict into her story once she leaves Meereen would make the story feel bloated and would severely fuck up the pacing.

I don’t think Dany will ever see the Iron Throne. The themes of her story have never been about her wanting the Iron Throne for what it is, but for what it represents to her. It represents the possibility of a home and of feeling safe for the first time in her life, what Dany truly wants. I think that it’s absolutely fine if Dany never sees the Throne or sits on it, and that it makes more sense for her narrative arc if she discovers that she can find a home somewhere else, not necessarily where she thought it would be.

Part 6: Final Thoughts

So, in conclusion, I don’t really give a shit who ends up placing their ass on the Forbidden Laz-E-Boy, I care about the War for the Dawn. I care about seeing the characters I’ve followed for the past five books coming together to fight the real conflict of A Song of Ice and Fire. Also, even if we do get a Scouring of the Shire-type post-climax for ASOIAF, it doesn’t matter. People don’t see the Scouring of the Shire as the climax of Lord of the Rings, they see the climax as Aragorn leading the forces of good against the forces of evil and Frodo and Sam throwing the One Ring into Mount Doom. Whatever ending resolution comes after the climax of ASOIAF, it doesn’t change what the climax is.

"Do you think your brother's war is more important than ours?" the old man barked.

Jon chewed his lip. The raven flapped its wings at him. "War, war, war, war," it sang.

"It's not," Mormont told him. "Gods save us, boy, you're not blind and you're not stupid. When dead men come hunting in the night, do you think it matters who sits the Iron Throne?"

"No." Jon had not thought of it that way.

- Jon IX, A Game of Thrones

TL;DR:

My prediction: Cersei will be the last person to sit the Iron Throne, which will be destroyed in the Wildfire of King’s Landing. After the Long Night devastates the Seven Kingdoms, Bran will become the King of this new Westeros that has been majorly affected by the return of magic. Also, it would be real nice if Dany found her red door.

God I hope my rambling made sense

#sorry that this took me over a week to answer #ask #anon #asoiaf #asoiaf meta #long post

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embrassemoi · 3 years

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Surrounded by the Moon and Stars • 10

Pairings: Sirius Black x [F]Reader, Remus Lupin x [F]Reader Content: Language, possible errors, introducing more Marlene, unreliable narrative-ish Author’s notes: Ngl, I had to rush this one.

Masterlist: Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Chapter 9: One Hundred and Fifty Points

❉───────•~❉•᯽•❉~•───────❉

November rolled around signifying the start of the new Quidditch season. Inside the great hall was flooded with the smell of sausages and fried eggs along with the cheerful chatter of students looking forward to the first match.

Gryffindor and Slytherin were the first teams set to play and their relationship had never been so tense until now; even the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs who liked to join in on the playful raillery decided not to participate.

Whenever a Gryffindor was to pass by the Slytherin table to get to their respective seats or simply walk through the entrance, a hassle of insults and boos would follow and vice versa.

While both houses had their own tactics to mess with each other, the Slytherins had tactics that transpired off the pitch and were brought into daily life. It was a smart move, and some of the newer Gryffindor players allowed it to bother them even before stepping foot onto the field. The insults built over the past couple of years, largely because Gryffindor had yet to lose a single game since James joined the team a little over three years ago.

And since James was newly appointed captain, they were relentless.

In the days leading up to the match, whenever Y/N accompanied James through the halls, whispers of childish remarks like, “I bet Potty is going to go to the potty after Talkalot throws him off his broom,” and other insults follow him, varying from his abilities or his capability to lead his team to victory.

Despite the relentless jeers, James managed to take them in stride, constantly donning a bright smile. Not once had it wavered him or chilled his blood. If anything, he took it as a compliment and even bounced off of it with a witty response. A few times, he even repeated the insult, announcing it loud enough for everyone in the vicinity to hear before turning the joke on them.

But today, he finally cracked. Marlene, who joined the team last year as a chaser, was beyond ecstatic while James’ smile was non-existent. It was fairly evident to everyone who knew him that his smile and body language faked confidence in an attempt to mask nervousness.

As his first year as captain, James had an extreme burden on his shoulders. Stakes were at an all-time high to continue the three-year-long title holder of the Quidditch cup. He was under a constant microscope. Everyone was curious to see how James led his team. Not only did he have to prove his abilities as a leader but was also in jeopardy of staying captain for next year. His status depended on these games.

Additionally, the potential loss would be devastating. James was not the first pick as captain for this year. Charlie Bell, a seventh year, was supposed to take his place with James coaching the year after he left, but Bell stepped down, preferring to spend his time focusing on NEWT revisions. Although due to his time studying, Bell’s abilities were admittedly sloppy and began to worry James as he was not up to his standards.

Although in Y/N’s (biased) opinion, James had nothing to worry about.

He insisted on daily practices ever since try-outs were held in early September. It was even hard to catch Marlene who’d been James’ left-hand man of sorts. Today, the two players woke up bright and early in preparation for the first game. They woke up at six o’clock in the morning, to Marlene’s dismay, and went for a light jog and a quick exercise. The rest of the Gryffindor team was there and went over their ground plan again.

Y/N had seen a few of their practices to support them and bring any food incase they missed breakfast or dinner. James was absolutely merciful. Like any good captain, he listened and attended to the needs of his players, but he held Marlene’s opinion higher than the rest.

Rumours floated around the two and she was excited to see if they held true. Both players had become great partners and were almost unstoppable on the field. Because of this, it was highly anticipated that Gryffindor was going to win, especially with how gruelling James’ coaching methods were compared to former captains. Bets were placed ranging from Knuts, Sickles and Galleons.

Due to the overwhelming pressure, James was at a loss for words, for once. His anxiety spiked and the only person who could talk any sense into was Marlene; both sharing an odd, yet special bond.

Even in the days leading up, Mcgonagall, who she’d found out was very gifted and a huge fan of the sport, took notice of his unusual and quiet behaviour. McGonagall let loose, avoiding giving out homework for the week. She had even opted to avoid giving James any.

It was quite clear McGonagall had a soft spot for the marauders, often letting them do as they pleased while at harshest, taking away house points and sparingly handing them detentions. James, of course, had been using this to his advantage as he pleaded to give the entire Gryffindor team no homework using the famous ‘but we have practice!’ excuse.

When she arrived in the hall with Dorcas, the moment they walked through the entrance, the Slytherin table booed in their direction but was rivalled with a thunderous welcome from the Gryffindor table. Everyone in sight wore red and gold.

James had a vice-grip on Quidditch Through the Ages while in the other hand, tried but failed, to shovel potatoes in his mouth. Marlene sat on his left, reviewing several techniques they could use last minute that the Slytherins may not expect coming. They were already wearing their jerseys. Plastered on Marlene’s chest in bright yellow was the number 6 while James was 7. Their uniforms were identical aside from the pin on James’ shirt that caught everyone’s attention. A shiny new captain’s badge sitting proudly on his chest.

Both were talking to each other rapidly, barely registering their friends sitting down beside them.

“Don’t be thick,” said Marlene, “This is going to work. Stop second-guessing.”

“I’m mental. Abso-fucking-bloody-mental … What was I thinking?”

“Potter,” she scolds, “get it together. Now, in about an hour, we’re going to be walking on the pitch. We’ve practiced for hours — days even — much more than the Slytherins have. You were made captain for a reason and we have back-up plans. We’re beyond ready.”

He sighs, taking a deep inhale. “Okay… Okay.”

Within a few seconds, the air around him shifts and James' assertive and authoritative side takes over. “What were you suggesting earlier?”

“We have to go underneath and cut them off. Trust me, they won’t expect it.”

“Where do you want me?”

“What broom model do you have?”

“Nimbus 1984.”

Marlene scoffs, “Should’ve known, Mr. ‘Trust fund’ Potter. Anyway, yours is the fastest and newest — ought to be the first one to cut ‘em. Lead the way.”

James stops to ponder before bobbing his head in agreement, “Sounds good, but Bell?”

“— do you think he can do it?”

“Not sure. Maybe he will once the rush comes — no — we can use him as a decoy then.”

The sudden uproar of cheers and boos of both Gryffindors and Slytherins attempting to drown each other reached the table’s ears again, James looked down at his lap. Even Marlene’s leg started bouncing up and down.

Lily was about to make a harmless jab before Marlene’s eyes shot up to her, shaking her head warningly.

James was truly losing his shit inside and out.

“Mental,” he grumbles out. He barely registers his body move on its own accord. Marlene followed his lead, getting up with him before his attention was drawn back to everyone in front of him.

“You coming, right? Gotta see my moves,” James tries to joke, looking at Y/N.

“She better or I’ll drag her onto the field.” Marlene cuts in. Judging by the burning look in her eyes, Marlene was far from joking.

“Of course I will.” She then directs the next sentence mostly to James, “You’re going to crush them.”

A nod of approval comes from both players. Marlene’s chest puffs out from the praise, even going as far to dramatically flick her hair over her shoulder while James seems to relax considerably.

“Of course we are. You are talking to the King of Quidditch.”

“Hem hem — and queen!”

“My bad — and queen. We’re going to win.” It was nice seeing his arrogant side back.

“Pff— that’s not even a question,” Marlene says, “I’d rather fling my body off a tower if we lose this game.”

❉───────•~❉•᯽•❉~•───────❉

At eleven o’clock sharp, the entire school sat in the stands around the Quidditch pitch. From there, she could smell the fresh-cut grass, filling the air as cold steel filtered through her lungs. It was refreshing and tickled the inside of her nose. The seats were raised high, a warming charm placed on them, courtesy of Flitwick.

Flakes of dewey frost coated the field and stands. The wind howled as a few brooms whipped back and forth, checking to see if everything was in proper condition before the start of the game. Unfortunately for the players, stormy grey clouds were raised high and there was a high risk of rain or snow. It surely was going to make catching the Golden Snitch harder.

All the girls were there to support Marlene. Lily and Dorcas went all out and brought a huge poster. Streaks of red and gold were painted underneath their eyes as leftover gold tinsel from the Halloween party was woven into Lily’s hair. Many other students also held large signs, waving flags; even Y/N and Mary had binoculars secured around their necks.

A large lion was charmed onto the sign, moving back and forth before opening its mouth to roar. In bold letters, it read Gryffindor’s Weapon, McKinnon! Dorcas placed another charm on so the letters interchanged between red and gold, flashing similar to a new-maj diner sign.

Madam Hooch stood in the middle of the pitch. In a flash, the two teams came out, shouldering their brooms in a single file line from two hidden doors beneath the stands. At the front, the team’s respective captains led them to the middle. A deafening applause greeted them. Some players even waved back to the crowd for louder cheers.

A few rows down, sitting in the very front was Sirius and Peter, rapidly waving their arms around and cheering. Peter bent down, pulling up a sign that read Potter’s Preeminence . Even with the distance, Y/N could hear Sirius’ screaming. He wore a paper mache lion head while Peter wore the body of a lion.

‘YOU GOT THIS PRONGS! FUCKING CRUSH THEIR TINY LITTLE SNAKE BONES— LET’S GO GRYFFINDOR, LET’S GO WOOWOO!”

What caught her eye was Remus’ absence. She was under the impression that he and James were close friends, so surely he would have been there in support knowing that this game was immensely important to him.

Back on the field, the captains shook their hands. James’ head was held high, determined not to break eye contact first. However, the other captain simply smirked and leant in to whisper something in his ear before Hooch scolded her. When she pulled back, Y/N could hardly see James’ expression but she managed to catch a small glimpse.

He looked, well, she didn't know what his expression meant. Angry? Nervous? Annoyed?

This was her cue, “DON’T LET THEM GET TO YOU JAMES!” She shouted so loud that it managed to travel down to him. Sirius’ head whipped back, even looking appreciative at her encouragement.

James managed to hear and his head perked up. His head swivelled towards her, his frown wiped off as his confidence returned. Behind him, Marlene looked up to the stands and Y/N, along with the other girls, shot her a thumbs up.

Madam Hooch continued to give her speech. James looked determined, his head tilting towards Marlene as they nodded to each other in encouragement. Y/N was unfamiliar with the rest of the Gryffindor and Slytherin players, but surprisingly, Regulus Black was standing there. Unlike the other warm brown and golden brooms, Regulus’s broom was black, accented with silver metal. An odd mark was engraved on the widest part of the base.

Due to the distance, it was hard to make out what was engraved or what position he played before Madam Hooch grabbed her silver whistle, which was comically too big.

“Mount your brooms,” she said, the entire crowd hearing. She lifted the whistle to her mouth and gave a loud blast. The game began.

Fifteen brooms flew high into the air. The clouds covering a couple of players passing by.

The announcer’s voice fills the air. “Anddd we’re off! Gryffindor’s newest captain, James Potter, 7, has the Quaffle and— he passes it to Charlie Bell, 2. This is his last year on the team so everyone give him a loud cheer— he sends the Quaffle back to Potter— and he passes it over to Marlene McKinnon, 6, and— no— the Slytherins swiped the Quaffle! Captain Emma Vanity, 21, flies away and she dives— she passes it to Rhys Calwald, also a seventh year— McKinnon comes back and takes it! She’s— a Gryffindor is down! Bell was hit by a Bludger and— he’s back up, perfectly fine— Potter is by the goalpost and blocks off the Slytherins, speeding up. Above, Phoebe Dawson, 1, joined as the Gryffindors newest seeker. She’s high in the clouds, neck and neck with Regulus Black, 8, Slytherin’s seeker and— there’s a clear shot to search for the Snitch. The Quaffle is taken by Bell and— Slytherin’s chaser takes it! Chaser Lucinda Talkalot, 4— their beater bats it away from an incoming Bludger— Talkalot is rounding on Gryffindor’s goalpost— she’s close, Vanity is there— she dives— she shoots— and… and— SLYTHERIN SCORES!”

Gryffindors groan while Slytherin cheers and wave their signs higher. A roar of claps goes around.

Now Lily is screaming, her hands are stretched out, waving her large sign above her head, blocking the unlucky students sitting behind her. “THAT WAS ONLY TEN POINTS! GET THEM MARLS— YES! LOOK AT THAT DIVE!”

Down below, Peter and Sirius are mirroring Lily. "IS THAT ALL YOU GOT POTTER?! COME ON WE KNOW YOU CAN GET EM! YOU'RE DOING AMAZING! FUCKING CRUSH THEM!"

Y/N grabbed her binoculars, bringing them to her eyes. Marlene was high up, open for James who had the Quaffle tucked under his arm. He does not look over to her, but rather looks at Bell before he throws it to her, his eyes still trained on Bell. Marlene catches it and from the trick James pulled, she has an extra few seconds before the Slytherins catch her. Marlene speeds away as a Bludger is directed at her. Luckily, one of Gryffindor’s beaters already flung it away as Charlie came rushing close to Marlene’s side, warding off any Slytherins as best as he could.

The commentator cuts in again. “Gryffindor is back in possession of the Quaffle. McKinnon and Bell are flying closer to the goalpost—Slytherin's keeper is standing tall at their net, Ashworth, 3— they’re speeding towards— look! It’s the Snitch!”

The two seeker’s heads shot up. A low murmur spreads through the crowd as they caught sight of a flash of gold. Only for a second, they saw the little ball, its wings fluttering madly before it disappeared back into the clouds.

Slytherin directs a Bludger towards Phoebes before Gryffindor’s beater comes rushing up to swat it away.

Gryffindor still is under the possession of the Quaffle. Marlene and Charlie have been passing it back and forth while James comes back around. His body is pressed close to his broom. He does a funny hand movement, signalling to the rest of the chasers before they swoop down suddenly. Everyone is confused and Charlie is flying in the opposite direction, some of the Slytherins follow him before Marlene passes the Quaffle at James and shoots.

"— GRYFFINDOR SCORES!"

Another round of cheers echoes through Gryffindor’s side. Lily’s clapping slowed. She wanted to show support for Marlene, her house, but not for James. As the Quaffle is sent back up to the air, James and Marlene high-five each other discreetly before returning to their positions.

The Slytherins rush back towards Gryffindors goalpost; they're zigzagging through the air, violent swishes to avoid chasers from cutting them off again.

"Slytherin's in possession. Vanity is on Talkalot's right— passes it to her— shots— misses! Talkalot gets another rebound—

Y/N's attention is drawn back to the seekers. A beater is rapidly swatting away Bludgers as Phoebe is neck and neck with Regulus. Her eyes are stuck through the binoculars.

All of the sudden, a Bludger collided hard with James' broom, so strongly that Y/N swore a chip of wood was knocked off. His broom vibrates hard but his grip is still secured tightly to prevent bucking off. The Bludger was so close to his face that for a split second everyone thought it might've broken his nose. The crowd was cheering on intently while Sirius and Peter screamed.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"

"FOUL!" Madam Hooch yelled. Gryffindor gets a free score on Slytherins goalpost. Marlene is the one to score.

"NICE JOB MARLS!" Lily bellows. Her voice is high-pitched and cuts through the air loud enough that Marlene looks over and gives a thumbs up.

By now, Slytherin has scored eleven times while Gryffindor was merely in the lead by ten points. Slytherin was rapidly gaining on them. Vanity and Talkalot were great at their positions.

"Gryffindors in possession! Bell’s got the Quaff— a Bludger is coming towards Potter again—” The iron ball was barrelling towards him, again. A beater shouted, warning him before James zoomed across the field as fast as he could. A beater trailed after him and swatted it away, narrowly avoiding being hit.

James ducked as another Bludger was rocketed in his direction.

"— BLOCKED! YEAH, SCUMBAGS — Sorry McGonagall!— Bell is gaining on the Slytherins and aiming at Ashworth. McKinnon is seconds behind— the seekers spotted the Golden Snitch!"

There was an edge of panic that soared through everyone’s hearts as both of the seekers dived down so fast that the chasers and beaters had to move out of their way. It was neck and neck, both flattened to their broom and the crowd only saw the glimpse of golden sparkles. Both reached out their hands.

It was only then a Bludger hit the back of Phoebe's broom, similar to James, causing her to lunge forward and off her broom.

Both seekers were laid on the ground. Everyone peered at the crash worried about their safety before Regulus lifted his hand, waving it above his head.

"I got the Snitch!" Regulus pants out.

James came rushing down to his teammate's side to make sure they weren't badly injured. He screamed for Madam Hooch.

After careful deliberation, Hooch ultimately decided that Slytherin won, awarding them the extra one hundred and fifty points. Gryffindor lost by thirty points.

"That was an illegal Bludger attack!" Marlene says.

"What the fuck?! That's rubbish!" Sirius screamed. Mary, Lily, Dorcas and Y/N groaned with the rest of the Gryffindors. The Slytherins chanted, waving their banners around and screaming as the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws clapped.

“Bell shoulda been cap, what were they thinking, picking the so-called King of Quidditch!” The Slytherins sang.

James, while still upset at the ruling, was more upset at his team member’s pain. Nobody knew what happened, but James seemed to leave Phoebe's side once he knew she was okay and stormed off in the direction of Vanity. Marlene grabbed a hold of his uniform to pull him back.

“James, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” She seethes into his ear, "Don’t start muggle duelling!"

“Are you fucking joking?” He bits back, “I’m not going to hit a woman!”

“Then calm down now.”

Whatever it was, James felt himself cool down considerably as he looked to Marlene. “Right, sorry. Just wanted to talk some sense into her.”

“Dreadful temper you’ve got there Potter.” Vanity spits out. She walks up to him, a pitiful smile on her.

“You need to keep your beaters in check,” he spits. Sparks fly from his nose as he marches back to Phoebe. By now, Madam Pomfrey has her laid back on a stretcher. James helps her, picking up the other end and walking back through the hidden doors. The team shuddered, trailing after them.

❉───────•~❉•᯽•❉~•───────❉

It was a devastating blow for Gryffindor. Everywhere Y/N looked, angry or disappointed faces would pop up. The team themselves were dejected while the Slytherins have begun planning a party.In the halls, students that made bets disappointedly slapped money it into the palms of students.

Nobody had seen James for hours. He’d left right after the game and all the marauders had disappeared, only reappearing for dinner. Only Sirius and Peter were at the table.

“— We were so close,” said Marlene numbly. “It must have accounted for something, using an illegal move like that.”

“You did amazing, it’s not your fault.” Lily cuts in, patting her on the shoulder.

“Now Potter is going to be ruthless for the next practices.”

A roar of laughter came from the Slytherins, a song chanting from their lips.

“Potter can hardly score a goal, he almost plummeted on the floor! He calls himself the King of Quidditch, well we call him the second option! Bell shoulda been cap, what were they thinking, picking the so-called King of Quidditch!”

“Shut it!” Sirius yelled, “You cheated! Bunch of gits.”

“Knock it off!” Followed Peter.

“Potter can hardly score a goal, he almost plummeted on the floor!"

Marlene cringes, watching the scene play out. Her grip on her fork tightens that for a moment Y/N thought she would have shattered the metal pieces. “They already won, what more do they want? A bunch of ugly toads...”

“Just ignore them,” Dorcas says. Marlene looked back at her, smiling reassuringly but with effort.

“He calls himself the king of Quidditch, well we call him the second option!”

“I don’t even like him,” Lily says dully, “But this… this is just mean.”

“Bell shoulda been cap, what were they thinking, picking the so-called King of Quidditch!”

No wonder James skipped dinner. Y/N turns her head to look at Sirius and Peter, both upset. A thought passes, perhaps it would be good to see how James was doing, but a small seed of doubt settled in her. If his best friends weren’t with him, then it probably would be better to leave him alone. But starving himself shouldn’t be the other option. As the Slytherins continued to sing, with teachers and prefects starting to get up to stop them, Y/N grabbed a nearby empty plate before piling on spaghetti and bread along with slipping a few utensils in her pockets. She excused herself, nodding to Marlene for comfort and slipping her way out effortlessly as teachers swamped the Slytherin table.

The common room was empty aside from James who was huddled up with his invisibility cloak, staring miserably out a window. Only his head was visible, the rest covering his body. It made her feel a bit queasy.

The fireplace crackled with every step she took. There were a few options Y/N could broach this situation,

She could walk around him like there were eggshells,

Or treat him normally.

She sat down beside him, a bit unsure, handing him his plate. His gaze moves to her, a quick smile flashes.

“Thanks.” He says, taking it from her. He ate in silence for a while, Y/N deciding to talk to fill the silence.

“I was thinking we should play exploding snaps-”

“Hey, look, “ he cuts off fast, nodding stiffly. His smile faded and a hard edge crept in his voice, “you don't have to try and cheer me up—”

“Relax, I’m not here to baby you. You’re doing that already.”

A small huff of amusement comes out, “Well then, mind if I play with you?”

“Of course!”

Whenever James won, and quite honestly he wasn’t the best, he’d make a small whooping sound. Even a few times she lost purposely so he would win.

That is until he spoke again, almost inaudible “You know… I care what people think of me- well certain people and I let them down today.”

“James, you didn’t.”

“I did —”

“Nobody is mad at you. If anything they’re mad at Madam Hooch.”

“Still,” he looked down embarrassed. “What are they saying about me down there?”

Her brain short-circuited for a moment; he would have to find out eventually. “They’re singing.”

“Great.” Although he didn’t look bothered, just annoyed. However, he gained a rush of enthusiasm with his next sentence, “Whatever, I’ll show them next year.”

A few games later, James left before the swarm of students came back to the common room. Again, he covered himself with the cloak and disappeared into the hallway. The spring in his step was noticeably lighter.

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psalloacappella · 3 years

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poco a poco

Day 5 Prompt: Lover’s Quarrel // “You never listen to me.”

@sasusakublankperiodweek

Ao3 | FFN | ↓

Underneath the dense foliage of a magnificent, custodial beech tree, they sit quiet for a bit, apologizing without moving their lips — in the buzz of insects, the nostalgic trilling of toads, the whispering of tree leaves.

Sasuke watches her in profile; then, with an unexpected tenderness, tucks her hair behind her ear, dark eyes on the split skin of her cheekbone.

The sound Sakura makes isn’t quite a scream, but it startles Sasuke enough for him to pause in his foraging task. Reaching for a benign fallen fruit nestled in the grass, her reaction seems theatrical on its face and now he’s distracted by the glistening, bright nettles getting in the way of securing the bag.

“Don’t—!”

It makes sense in an instant: The alarming shade of orange they possess, an alien glimmer and dance about them. He scoffs and has a thought that immediately reminds him he’s occasionally stupid, Ah, plants don’t move like this —

And though Sakura’s never possessed his level of speed, she’s already yanking him out of the brush as the alcove swiftly aims to trap them in.

They tumble backward, Sakura bodily pulling him along without tapping the wellspring of her true strength; they’ve played that game, and he’s intimately familiar with the shiver a grown man feels dancing down his spine when a fissure snakes beneath the earth under his feet.

Tangled up in one another and already catching angry mutters, he’s sure he’s missed something he doesn’t understand and she’s about to tell him exactly what it is.

Well, he’d never have it any other way.

Kneeling on her haunches, she roughly clears her vision of stray hair and levels a gaze, green-glass and sharp, that could slice and feather him as a mandolin.

“Are—you—blind?”

“Not quite yet.”

Sasuke never knew her eyes could get quite so wide, and he considers the merits of keeping his witty comebacks to himself.

Something draws his gaze, though, and the amusement sinks as fast as it came. The thin line, a surface split in the skin dashed across her cheekbone, doesn’t seem to impede her anger roiling along as a volcano, folding in on itself and furthering its validity as a runaway chemical reaction.

“If you touched it, we need to extract the poison right away,” she says impatiently, speaking through gritted teeth. Luckily that’s only a side-effect of her fury, rather than the cut.

“Sakura—”

“Come here—”

“Your face!” A spark of his own surfacing out of guilt and irritation; there’s no way she’s unaware of the poison now coursing through her systems in a chaotic melee, seeking whichever biological home feeds it best.

Her response is to yank him by the hand, turning his arm at the elbow and spreading his fingers.

“I’m fine!” he barks.

“All it takes is a tiny way in, Sasuke—”

“And what about you? What do we do?”

“I’m asking the questions, here.”

“I’m not your patient out here, you know,” he snaps, indicating the forest clearing.

“Then maybe stop trying to act like one!” The rouge of her anger lights up the cut in her face with an odd white rim, and Sasuke catches the sinister gleam from the split in her skin from a passing moment in the shifting canopy.

Orange.

“A color that bright — gods, I can’t believe you—”

Ripping her belt from the waist and unfurling it with a snap!, a motion saturated with ire, her hand hovers for a second or two, fingers bouncing in rapid thought, before plucking a vial and fluttery gauze from the pack.

“Tell me what to do,” Sasuke growls.

The response is savage muttering, and he’s so sure he catches something like that’s some Naruto shit and handsome-stupid. No stranger to her temper flaring bright and subsiding with haste, but his helplessness makes it difficult to keep his dumb mouth shut.

“Sakura!”

“Concentrating.”

Emerald, soft and with an incandescent, almost mystical texture and glow. There’s something about her skill that roils his gut into abstruse knots of anxiety threaded through with intimidation, spun through with tight, woven pride. In contrast to the coarse and hackneyed way in which he’s healed or handled injury in the past, cowering in caves and sweating out lonely fevers and even the way he’s used another body, sinking his teeth in to rob an unknown and murky power from another vessel.

But her behavior jerks him back to the present as she squeezes venom from her fucking face into her stupid glass vial and he absolutely cannot believe he’s watching this from the woman he loves, as she gently coaxes it to the surface and manages not to spill a drop despite the shakes settling into her limbs.

“What do I do, Sakura? Tell me.”

She corks the vial with aplomb and offers nothing but a heavy sigh. “Please gently put this back in my waistbelt.”

Now it’s his turn to stare, and though she blinks in the moment his eye flickers and flares to crimson life, it doesn’t frighten her like he thought it might.

“You’re annoying.”

She frowns, and the gentle glow around her fingers brightens a bit. “How could you touch something so bright? Is something like that ever not poisonous?”

“Then what about you? Acting like it’s not a big deal!”

The shrug she gives him makes him clench his jaw, closing his eyes for a moment. Not quite a praying man, but most of the things that are destined to pass his lips will only escalate their bickering.

“There’s nothing to be gained from panic,” she says quietly. “I’ve learned this many times, now.”

And though she’s not and has never been stone cold, he can see the bobbing in her neck after her heavy swallow, the deep breath, the search for calm as the glittering orange comes away in her glowing hand, suspended in-air as the formless shapes of ink blot tests, losing it’s luster as she flicks her fingers and it dissipates into the wind. Harmless.

“And anyway, I’ve played with poison before.”

Grey pallor receding from her face, she smiles at him in a small and faint way that prompts him to ask, again,

“What do I do?”

She exhales, shoulders slumping, body relenting to the aftermath of adrenaline rush by losing its strict form. “Can you help me?” She nods at a nearby tree. “Need to sit for a moment.”

Miles from home, it seems their paltry disagreements last for the better part of years, but when they’ve burnt out, twinkling out as tiny stars, they know they’re never angry for long.

Sasuke watches her in profile; then, with an unexpected tenderness, tucks her hair behind her ear, dark eyes on the split skin of her cheekbone.

“You haven’t healed this.”

Emerging from what seems like a deep reverie, she nuzzles against his fingers, absorbing his touch.

“I shouldn’t do that with you,” she says, eyes glossy. The threat of tears. “It’s what I do in an emergency — you learn it’s simply not about you, that you’re the one in charge. They’re scared, so you put away your fear and feelings.” Her eyes swivel to him, offering an apology and asking forgiveness. “They need you to lead, and so you do.”

Why she hangs on the notion that he might not forgive her, that she needs to ask even silently, he’ll never be able to parse, given the grace he’s been extended from his loved ones and above all of them, her, so many times over.

“You should know how to do this.” Voice firm, a statement rather than a suggestion. Head still resting against the venerable tree trunk, she continues. “Even basic skill could go a long way.”

“You’re not suggesting—”

“I absolutely am!” she interjects. “What if you need to heal someone and I’m not there? What if I’m incapacitated, and it’s me?” Taking him by the shirt, she pulls him a little closer to drive home the solemnity, the gravity of what she’s implying. “In the future, in a life with new loved ones . . . what wouldn’t you do for them?”

Sasuke’s eyes flicker from her intense eyes to the cut on her cheek, the discomfiting orange glimmer long gone, but the injury still resolutely present.

“Great men,” she whispers, “have died from many benign, simple things.”

Here is what he’d never confess: She adores him and believes in him more than he deserves. The idea that he’s a good man, a talented one, possessing an unshakeable compass when his narrative has proven, in his view, the absolute opposite.

That nearly every day, his instinct is to sink into shadows that tug at him, but right on cue she emboldens him to step into the light.

“You should do it,” he says quietly, aiming for a dissuading tone. “This is your face, I don’t want to hurt you.” Again. As always.

“I trust you.”

“I can’t do it now, like this.”

“You never listen to me, Sasuke-kun.”

She takes him by the hand — he can feel the warmth of the green glow he’s observed many times, relieving bodies of their healing burdens and broken bones; has seen it used on his good friend, an old sensei, a child’s skinned knee here, an elderly’s poor joint there. A body brought back to life, snatched from the void’s edge of an unknown thing they’ve yet to explore.

And for an otherworldly instant that unwavering devotion is reflected in the eyes he’s woken up to for days and weeks now: Unshakable belief reflected back to him, a second in which he sees himself as she always does.

“And I’m telling you, you can.”

#SSBlankPeriod2021 #SSBPDay5 #sasusaku #psalloacappella:SSBP

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prairiedust · 4 years

Text

More Last Holiday Musings...

I want to poke at that interdimensional geoscope a little more, because upon reading it over again, I think I splashed it up a little fast and there are a couple of points I’d like to be clearer about. I meant to queue this up to post last night but also want it to be up before Gimme Shelter so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This is more blue curtains lit crit with a dash of folklore and an honorable mention for post-structuralism. And we’re talking about Supernatural after all, so this is sort of... well, it’s about endings.

Last Holiday was not a typical “filler” or even a typical MOTW episode. It felt extremely insular, possibly more so than any other episode I can think at any other point in the series. As opposed to the usual crowd of “locals,” a spate of victims, and a couple of red herring suspects, the only other people in this ep besides the Winchesters (including Jack) and Mrs. Butters were the two vampires and Cuthbert Sinclair. There was no “case” as in a usual MOTW-- there was no Chuck Struggle, either, and the lack of mytharc was strange against the lack of “filler” schema. That lack of “MOTW investigation” marked this episode also as being about “curiosity”-- the Winchesters all-too-quickly took Mrs. Butters for granted-- Dean even dismissed her as a “Magic Roomba” and that seemed to settle the matter. Furthermore, the moment that Dean spotted Mrs. B in his room, the stage was set for Antics ™ when she held up his goofy Scooby boxers, and indeed a zaniness, an almost manic energy drove the action forward at a breakneck pace. [Spoiler alert, we do get ��investigation” in the next episode, 15x15 Gimme Shelter, as stills and the preview show that Castiel and Jack will be teaming up together, in yet another shake-up of the usual “MOTW” template, almost like we can expect the other side of a coin when Sam and Dean switch places with Cas...] These features set Last Holiday apart as not so much “filler” as “between,” as in there was struggle before, and there will be struggle after, but for a while there was cake. (Contrast this to the usual “peril of the threshold” that usually shrouds liminality if you’d like.)

At the end of Last Holiday, however, we finally get to find out what that old blue telescope really is, and with that name we get confirmation that there are no more alternate universes-- Chuck has burned them all. Viewers are left to come to the conclusion that in retrospect the telescope-thing could have changed the course of season 13 completely. The reveal is played off as darkly funny, but it’s also kind of a gut-wrenching moment, too. All the heartbreak of the last two and a half years, reviewed now through the lens of “if only.” If only they’d known about Mrs. Butters from the time they found the bunker, “none of this would have happened”… they’d have had monster radar, they’d have had the geoscope, they would have had supernatural help of a completely different level.

The temptation to read Last Holiday as a Chuck-free episode is strong, but fraught-- the threat of Chuck’s involvement has been established by a pattern this season (well the pattern is woven throughout the whole series really but Dabb has deliberately structured these last three seasons with an exponentially increasing frequency.) I feel like we’ve been conditioned this season in particular to hold ourselves in a perpetual flinch, to be afraid of what we’ll learn “in retrospect.” That geoscope was really_good_subtext, and it is entirely possible, even encouraged, at this point in the plot to take information we’ve learned from the naming of the object, examine our own conditioned response to this episode, and apply both things to the structure of the season so far and make a prediction as to what might happen in the main plot. That’s what I mean about subtext getting loud. We’ve been given the green-light to make a prediction about The Struggle and march forward with it, and see if we will be correct by extrapolating the pattern, or if that expectation will be subverted (the twist is set up to run either way, so either outcome is satisfying.) It is Melville-esque architecture of the highest degree;I could write another thousand words just about that. So I have a prediction that I’m hanging on to, because of what we’ve learned from the geoscope, and what kinds of clues were hung up in Last Holiday, and I’m super excited to either have my hunch confirmed or be frightfully and delightedly surprised. I mean, where the fuck did Jeremy Adams even come from? He’s like our own Mrs. Butters, showing up in the last quarter to run a couple game-changing balls into the end zone, it’s bonkers. I mean, I know writing mysteries is hard and requires still AND cunning, but damn, son.

But anyway, back to the geoscope…

I’m perplexed, from a very “lit crit” perspective, but this is where I’m at and why I referenced blue curtains-- if you shine too bright a light on subtext, does it evaporate-- like looking through an interdimensional geoscope and not seeing anything-- or is “subtext” sometimes not some ephemeral fever-dream that we as viewers conjure up through our experiential interlocution with the text but something a writer has steeped into the narrative as part of their craft? Or when you’re talking about an evolving iteration of writers, is it possible that one picks up a thread that another wove in for something else, repurposing or amplifying it? And, when perhaps is something deliberately instilled in the text in order to become “text” at just the right time? In Moby Dick, [spoiler alert lol] Quequeg’s coffin-- formerly one of many symbolic vehicles used to foreshadow the doom of the Pequod-- is repurposed as a life buoy and becomes the actual object that saves Ishmael’s life, transforming it from a portent of disaster to a symbol of salvation and then to one of Ishmael’s guilt for surviving Ahab’s madness-- the guilt that had been made text by the very opening line of the book, “Call me Ishmael.” In retrospect, the connotations of wandering, exile and salvation behind the name that the narrator gives himself become crystal clear. The problem that the post-structuralist model of “reading” as simultaneously “creating the text” has manufactured is that the idea that “subtext” can often be discounted as something dreamed up wholecloth by the reader, and thus inferior, imaginary, even delusional (and I use that last word knowing what a loaded term that is in the spn fandom, but this is not about a ship, even) where once it was considered to be a valid and measurable part of the text itself, like that dang coffin. It was the basement, the underpinnings, the catacombs below the opera house sure, but it helped to hold up the structure. And for some reason, putting subtext into a piece of media has become passe, or cringe? Anyway, not to be bitter on main but it didn’t used to be this way, at least not in the heady early days of postmodernism. So that green light? Critical hit against blue curtains. And while yes, some readings are going to be better supported than others, and the wild variety of checklists in this fandom mean that some conclusions have been drawn which can’t pan out, if you’re paying attention to the structure, the subtexts, the alchemical/psychoanalytical/postmodern themata, the ending will be very satisfying.

So. What was once speculated to be a symbol for emotional lows or turning points (among other things) in the bunker was textually hit with a bright green light, then Dean got curious about it in text, and we were told-- in text-- that oh it’s just a fancy spyglass, and now that the other worlds are gone, it has no purpose…. that’s what I mean about the geoscope now being “pure”-- it wasn’t clear whether the telescope ever had any function, subtetxtual or not, and now that it’s certain what it’s “function” was, it’s now freed up as a “symbol”-- unless like in Moby Dick it’s new “purpose” is revealed later, but right now it’s caught in this liminal place of not-quite-clue and not-quite-metaphor...

However, and I didn’t put this in my first post because I was trying to be fast and not a wet blanket, but I felt like finally naming the geoscope was an ending.

This is literally Singer, Dabb, and Co tidying up the house before locking it behind them.

I think when Dean said he didn’t see anything through the “telescope thing,” that we’re to understand that maybe this was the last hurrah of the cute, zany, campy “subtext” or even “metatext” if you’d rather that so many of us have been parsing and which has gotten so weird and bright since season 12/13. I think I said in one of the folklore posts that writing about some of the things I write about feels like making daisy chains in the endzone during the big game. Which is fun, that’s how I personally got through having to be in AYSO soccer for four years, by looking for four leafed clovers and eating orange quarters. And we got a wood nymph in this episode, textually even, so I could easily check the “folklore” box on this one. But the sheer euphoria of Last Holiday and all the sparkles it brought into the story aren’t meant to last. When you look back on fifteen years of text, a lot of it is bleak, miserable stuff. That’s not to say that episodes like Yellow Fever and Hunteri Heroici and Fan Fiction et al shouldn’t be celebrated. But I think from here on out, things are going to be less “golly gee, three birthdays!” and more “There she blows! --there she blows! A hump like a snowhill!”

This episode was a gift in many ways, not just for the sense of glee it transmitted-- it also did so much work and there are things I want to yell about in the way language was hit, the red versus green lighting, the way the backwards holidays worked, the projector as a metaphor for Mrs. B projecting her regrets and fears onto Jack, the amount of food that was created and consumed, how that smoothie was also an echo of “fairy food” or an underworld pact if you squint-- but the stakes are so high now. We haven’t been shown the next valley-- there was no final scene of Chuck rubbing his hands together like the villain from a melodrama, for example-- but the last image we got was Jack blowing out a candle. After the candle is blown out, the cake is dismantled and consumed. Once the story is over, all the themes that are so hard to grapple in a text like a television show can be gathered up and analyzed. (IS that all, though? After all, Dean made his own cake later, which, like, echoes of the “oh two cakes” comic lol...)

Since I really never want to leave anything I toss out on this blog on a last note of doom and gloom, however, I do want to say that I too understand what that last image meant. It meant, as Sam said, make a wish. Think of the future, think of free will, and hope for something wonderful to happen. (or do like me and wonder what the hell Jack wished for with dread and anticipation ha ha ha.)

#the poststructuralism of supernatural #the folklore of supernatural #no more tags right now #tag later

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bladedweaponsandswishycoats · 3 years

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Another Ask game from @theleakypen

Name: myro (not really, but for here). bladedweaponsandswishycoats on tumblr, bladedweapons on fandom twitter.

Fandoms I have written for: Only MDZS/The Untamed so far, really. (Technically I wrote a 1 sentence fic for Gideon the Ninth, but that doesn’t really count, it was a furious 1am angry post when I finished the book and was mad at the ending.)

Where you post: AO3, twitter, whatever on here, though less here.

Favorite one-shot (yes I changed the prompt): Missed Connections, Yunmeng which is Yunmeng siblings pov of the last bit of the flashback/episode 33. It is angsty and only 400 words but I love it.

Favorite multichapter: I think probably my Mo Xuanyu fix-it that I have not yet started posting. It’s a postcanon wangxian casefic that rescues Mo Xuanyu. Here’s a bit from a WiP Weds post. But since it is not posted yet, in the interests of talking about what is posted, maybe It Must Be Tuesday (Wei Wuxian’s in Trouble), which is a Burial Mounds canon divergence. I haven’t updated it in a bit, but that is because I’ve decided to write the whole rest of it so that I can post it quickly over a few weeks, and at this point its nearly there.

Fic you were nervous to post: Oh My God, There’s Two of Them Now, which is a crossover with a lot of meta-textual silliness and dimension jumping, in which comics-Loki, wangxian, and Jiang Cheng team up to go help other demonic cultivators in other fandoms, starting with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Yes, Buffy is a demonic cultivator, fight me. I was nervous to post it because crossovers are not usually as popular and I wasn’t sure anyone would want to read it.

How do you choose your titles: Uh, I don’t really have a consistent method. My first fic in the fandom was based on a translated Wuji lyric, the Tuesday one is based on a line of dialogue in Buffy, and the crossover is based on my reaction/ how I assume the rest of the characters in MDZS/Untamed would react if faced with WWX and Loki, with TWICE the chaotic queer gremlin energy of either one alone.

Do you outline: Yes, but sometimes it means I do so much outlining it is then hard to start writing, so I have been reconsidering maybe using the method less.

WiP I’m most excited about: (untitled) the Lanpires fic - the canon-verse Wangxian fic where the Lans are all vampires, that I’m writing with @iamwestiec- It’s so and sexy and fun, y’all. What’s better than just Yiling Laozu vibe? Yiling Laozu AND horny bitey Lan Zhan vampire vibes (Not posted yet but here’s a WiP Weds clip)

Other WiPs/not yet started (besides those already mentioned - but I have a rule of no more than 3 WiPs posting at a time so will be a while for some):

MDZS/Untamed:

One-shot about a nightmare where playing Inquiry turns into Vanquish (not posted)

written out form of this threadfic I did about the Lan forehead ribbon being woven with spells for compliance and obedience

(not yet started but exists in full form in my head) prequel to the Loki crossover where Loki as a multiverse-hopping god(dess) of story jumps into the Burial Mounds, see the mess that is the MDZS/Untamed verse, and proceeds to help Wei Wuxian unfuck the narrative and save some lives/make a happier ending for MDZS/Untamed.

Pseudo-academic paper-based fic in which academics several hundred years post-MDZS canon theorize about the “Qinghe Patron X” and their potential involvement in pivotal events leading to the Four Sects Era. In which academics theorize about Nie Huaisang, meanwhile Nie Huaisang is still alive and thinks it is hilarious to drop false clues and fuck with them.

TGCF:

Hualian smutty one-shot where Xie Lian and Hua Cheng find out that drinking divine/demonic(ghost) blood allows the demon(ghost)/god to control the drinker (like in SVSSS) and decide to have fun with it, involving blood drinking, Xie Lian with fangs, and bodily control fun.

Postcanon cathartic Beefleaf fix-it and get-together (mostly an outline so far)

Ghost Bros - about He Xuan and Hua Cheng being friends (so far some random chunks of dialogue but I want to do more but I lack a plot)

Prompts: I haven’t really done prompts, but I totally would try. Fair warning I am better at angst than I am at fluff. I was doing 3-sentence fic prompts for a while this summer and this Wei Wuxian + ghosts Murder Boi one is my favorite. (Prompt was Wang Lingjiao + Chenqing “thankful”)

Not tagging anyone because I am, as usual, too shy to presume so much (and also I think most people who might do this already have.)

#ask meme #fanfiction

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jcmorrigan · 4 years

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In Defense of Archibald Snatcher

Oh, wow, we’re coming up on almost the sixth anniversary of The Boxtrolls, my favorite film of all time, and though the fandom for it seems to be either dead or in hibernation, I still have the torch lit.

I actually have been of the mindset of the opinion/s I’m about to present here for all those six years, but never really thought it prudent to lay them out until I recently had a friend I was recommending the film to who I warned about some of the elements considered “problematic” and I offhandedly mentioned that I could do a whole essay about why they don’t bother me and said friend replied with a desire to want to hear it because we share infodump for infodump, so here we go, I’m poking the hornet’s nest surrounding a controversial film with a dead fandom.

But if you were on Tumblr back in the heyday, you might’ve seen the reaction to this film when it first debuted. Specifically, what a lot of people honed in on wa that the villain, Archibald Snatcher, employed a dragsona to be able to push his agenda and implement his evil scheme. There was outrage. There were accusations. There was lambasting. And above it all, one question hovers: was this transphobic?

I want to start, before we get into the weeds, by saying that if you are anywhere on the LGBTQ+ spectrum and you were offended by this film or this character, your experiences are completely valid. I’m about to present the counterargument in language that assumes my take is fact for the purpose of not having to write fifty thousand clunky disclaimers, but analytical as this may be, it IS an opinion, and if you don’t think it’s right, then hey, that’s super valid, and I’m not gonna try and change your mind, because if you’re hurt, then you’re hurt! You just may want to nope out of this post right now because I’m about to lay out my observations and thoughts to the contrary of the accusations of this being homo/transphobic.

First of all, the obvious facet that comes to mind is how strange it is that we only ever saw the word “transphobia” put on this phenomenon rather than “homophobia” when using a female alter ego as a disguise or a performance art is not the same as being a woman assigned male at birth. One only needs to take a look over at RuPaul’s Drag Race to see examples of this culture. Lots of gay men wearing dresses. No women perceived male.

All the same, I will say that on the surface, adding any kind of queercoding to the story’s villain, who the audience is supposed to boo and hiss at, looks really, really bad on paper. However you interpret it, Snatcher is definitely queercoded. He openly flirts with the man he’s trying to trick as a means of getting what he wants, he displays sincere enjoyment of wearing the dress, and he runs the gamut of flamboyant hand gestures. But if you dig a little further, there’s even more to the story: his tale is one of a man who desires to pass as one of the elite class in his society, but is held back by something he can’t change about himself no matter how he denies it.

Let’s look at the rest of his story. Snatcher is in pursuit of the White Hat: the ultimate status symbol. To that end, he’s decided to otherize the Boxtroll population of the town and play upon the culture shock in Cheesebridge to convince the humans of the “upper world” that the Boxtrolls are predatory monsters who must be killed. This sounds like a pretty black-and-white good-and-evil scenario, right? You’ve got your population of innocent sweethearts being attacked and your genocidal racist orchestrating their destruction. But there’s a third layer still: Lord Portley-Rind, the chief White Hat himself. Lord PR is actually the worst of the lot. It’s because he doesn’t accept Snatcher that Snatcher feels he has to resort to this tactic. He demonstrates open hatred of the Boxtrolls and of Snatcher (”I’m not sure who should be more worried: the Boxtrolls or us!”). There are implications in how he treats his daughter that he’s a textbook sexist who believes there are men’s roles and women’s roles in society and nary the twain shall cross. And he’s the rich guy controlling the entire city and letting children’s hospitals and crumbling bridges go to waste by spending the budget on frivolous cheese. In short, Lord PR is basically the ur-example of a nightmarish fictional Republican (and oh, how I WISH he hadn’t been so prophetic).

I’m not saying Snatcher was justified or good. No. He’s in no way redeemable. But over the course of his interactions with Lord PR, you can see just how much society’s elites treat him as inhuman or like a dirty buffoon. He’s looked down upon, he’s insulted even when he’s doing the “service” Lord PR desires, he’s rejected until he’s gone above and beyond his contract and I think it’s even a little bit implied that Lord PR would’ve reneged on the whole deal if the mob hadn’t cheered for Snatcher in the end. So what you have is a prim and proper billionaire who subscribes to gender roles telling a man of the lower class, obviously economically downtrodden, that he doesn’t deserve what Lord PR has.

The idea of meritocracy is woven throughout the film. Listening to the speech in the background of Snatcher’s anaphylactic attack, while the visuals are focused on Eggs rescuing Fish, you can hear Snatcher rambling about how his father told him that if you work hard, you will receive a White Hat, but he worked hard all his life and got nothing. One of the White Hats literally says he got his through being rich. It’s not hard to infer that Snatcher has figured out how broken the system is and realized the only way to win the game is to cheat.

But there’s still one more thing holding him back from his victory, something that actually trips him up when he achieves what he wanted. Cheese is presented as another status symbol: the rich eat it and are connoisseurs of its flavor. Snatcher is deathly allergic to it. The goal he’s chasing, he can’t even have without threat to his own life. His reaction is to pretend he isn’t allergic and to expose himself to having allergic reactions on the regular to show how much he’s ready to become part of the elites. I’ll reiterate: Archibald Snatcher wants to join the elites, but is held back because of something about himself he cannot change that only matters because the upper crust said it should.

Okay. So we’ve established the man is gay, or somewhere on the queer spectrum. How is this not really, really horrible?

Because the narrative invites you to feel some sympathy for him. No, not for his actions or any secret soft side or tragic backstory (that’s a job for the fans), but because he is chasing a dream he cannot attain. Perhaps the film’s biggest shortcoming is how little consequence comes to Lord PR in the end, because Lord PR, for all intents and purposes, is the worse villain on the board. Snatcher’s ploy is to take the class below the one he inhabits and paint its members as the bad guys: a nuisance that must be exterminated for the betterment of society. And we’ve seen this. We’ve seen plenty of real-life examples of have-nots turning on have-lessers because the haves benefit from oppressed groups infighting and being distracted from who holds the money and the power. A lot of times, you see that while intersectionality is definitely something we need to pay attention to, racism, sexism, and homophobia are not concepts that are all explicitly linked. If you experience one, that doesn’t mean you don’t project one or two of the others on other people - particularly if you’re trying to make yourself feel better about the discrimination you face.

When you look at the hierarchy, Snatcher is, I reiterate, a very bad person. But he’s also a victim. Not as much of a victim as the poor Boxtrolls, who get the malice trickling down from both the Red Hats and the White Hats, but he is a victim. We see him mocked, laughed at, turned away. And though he’s not redeemable, there are aspects in which he is sympathetic.

But what about Frou Frou? What about that particular disguise?

Well, for one, it’s used to make yet another allegorical statement. Snatcher is able to get attention paid to him if he weaponizes female sexuality - though it is a very shallow attention that largely results in the straight men of the town swallowing his propaganda while also objectifying him. Most of the comments made on Frou Frou are slimy, smarmy “compliments” on her body from the White Hats. Lord PR’s wife harbors a distinct distaste for Frou Frou because her husband most certainly prefers ogling Frou Frou to actually paying attention to their marriage. Frou Frou is a propaganda vehicle to make it look like more than one person is on the same page as Snatcher; Snatcher himself drives the action of his scheme and gets the dirty work done.

It’s also worth noting that if you take away the implications, villains using alter egos to trick their nemeses is a tale as old as time, from sea witch Ursula making herself more supermodel-esque in order to marry the prince to mythological Loki actually crossdressing much in the same vein in order to fool the Frost Giants. There’s a reason disguise masters and shapeshifters are intriguing villain archetypes: because we’re always a little bit afraid that someone isn’t who they say they are, and because - yeah, I’m about to go here - I think we all wish we could shift shape ourselves to take on new forms that suit the goals we’re trying to accomplish, even if that means “fooling” others. So it’s reasonable to think Laika wasn’t aware that there was any queercoding to even be had here - but I do think the crew was aware, and not in a malicious way.

However, watching Snatcher’s scenes as Frou Frou, there’s something that comes across in his character that you don’t see so often when he’s presenting male: he’s legitimately having fun. He dances, he flirts with the crowd, he adds more flourishes to his speech, he gets sassy. Frou Frou is a means for him to express himself, to allow himself to be feminine when he has built his philosophy on needing to do “what a man does” (he repeats this at least twice) in order to achieve greatness. He can be a little more himself when he’s Frou Frou, even though Frou Frou isn’t him. Taking a new identity that’s allowed the other half of the gender roles allowed in Cheesebridge (which runs on a binary because it’s run by the White Hats) lets him act a little less like what he needs to be to be taken seriously and a little more like he has freedom.

Put this back in context of the greater narrative: given all the parallels we’ve seen, it’s safe to assume that Cheesebridge, as a whole, is not accepting of deviations from gender roles, whether it’s being open and proud of your LGBTQ+ identity or simply wearing the clothes that don’t belong to your gender. Snatcher is taking an enormous gamble here by using Frou Frou at all. On one hand, it’s a calculated risk; he knows if he can appeal to Lord PR’s unchecked sexist libido, he can secure another avenue to being heard. On the other, however, it’s not really much of a leap to say this is something he wants to do, someone he wants to be more like, and isn’t allowed to, and since he’s cheating at the game anyway, he might as well go all the way and do what he wants with his life.

I’ve seen a lot of people take issue with the scene where he reveals himself to Lord PR and comparing it to some actual homophobic/transphobic media. And again, if that still stands to you as your primary analysis and emotional reaction, then feel free to turn away, reject my analysis, and know your thoughts and feelings are completely valid. But I think this scene differs from your usual “person with male parts tricked you into thinking they were a woman” scene in a couple ways.

For one, Snatcher decides to out himself on his own. To Lord PR, it’s when he’s got nothing left to lose. Again, when he realizes the game is broken and the odds are against him, he takes control and decides to be himself a little more. Now everyone knows he likes to act a dragsona because he wanted them to. But also, earlier on, when he revealed himself to Eggs, it was again on purpose. Eggs didn’t figure him out. Snatcher needed Eggs to know the level of the threat he was dealing with: that he was the person Eggs has been running from since the start and is no less dangerous in a dress. It’s always been of his own volition. There’s no “I thought you knew” or disrobing to see a body that doesn’t match expectations - Eggs ripping Snatcher’s wig off is maybe a little iffier, but again, in context, that’s him trying to show Snatcher’s identity, not as a man but as Archibald Snatcher, to expose the corruption, and Snatcher actually plays it completely off because he’s that good of an actor.

Which brings me to my second point. There’s only one person who reacts in an “Oh, gross!” manner to this revelation, and it’s Lord Portley-Rind. The one we’ve established is sexist, homophobic, and your textbook Rich White Straight Cis Man. The one at the top of the food chain. The one who’s been objectifying Snatcher and acting like a slobbering pervert about Frou Frou from the beginning. The homophobe realizes he has been a little gay. The sexist realizes his objectifying a particular person he perceived female has consequences. And this is why to me, that scene is actually hilarious. Because I don’t feel like I’m laughing at Snatcher’s expense. I’m laughing because Lord PR just got called OUT, and this is exactly the kind of discomfort that is karmic given how he’s treated his daughter, his wife, and everyone in his city who’s needed him.

Cycling back to when Snatcher outs himself at the ball, Eggs doesn’t really seem to care that there’s a gender-role-play involved here. His concern is not that this is actually a man; his concern is that it’s specifically the person who he knows is trying to ruin everything. Same with Winnie when Eggs passes it on. Eggs trying to reveal Snatcher to the crowd doesn’t even begin with “Frou Frou is fake,” but a line I will never forget: “Archibald Snatcher has lied to you all.” Not even drawing attention yet to the fact that he’s in the room. Starting out by having everyone remember that guy they are all sure ISN’T there and pointing out he’s bad news.

To look at Lord Portley-Rind’s “Oh my God! I regret so much!” as a dig at Snatcher is to say that Lord Portley-Rind is the lens through which we should be viewing this story, which it most certainly isn’t. The lens is Eggs and Winnie. Adjacent lenses are Fish, Shoe, and Jelly. Lord Portley-Rind is an antagonist to every single character in this film save the other White Hats.

Which is why if this film falls flat anywhere, it’s in letting Lord Portley-Rind get away without consequence. I think I can take a guess as to why this primarily happened: it needed to wrap up in a little under two hours, and dismantling systematic oppression and abuse of socioeconomic power can’t be done in a two-hour escapade. I still wish he were at least villainized a little more, as that’s where the narrative was leading up to that point. One of his earliest scenes with Winnie foreshadows that he will have to choose between her and the hat, and it takes him two tries to make the right choice. This story, until the very last act, has not supported him being a character to like or sympathize with, even in such subtle ways as Trout and Pickles stealing his hat and running around with it to taunt Snatcher - showing that a symbol is really only a symbol, and doesn’t indicate your worth. Anyone can put on a hat. Lord PR has just been brought onto an equal footing with them, if only for a moment.

Okay, so why have this whole three-layer narrative anyway? Couldn’t we have made this story more clear-cut between the Boxtrolls and White Hats, with no queercoded villain to get in between?

Yes...but I’m not sure that would have been best for the viewing audience. And there’s plenty of precedent as to why Laika thought it was a move for the better.

Queercoded villains are in every aspect of our fictional and fandom lives. Here’s a bitter pill to swallow: all your favorite Disney villains are queercoded. All of them. “But Frollo’s arc is about - “ Being a man in a religious system afraid of being tainted as sinful for being attracted to the wrong person. “Gaston, though, is - “ Very chummy with LeFou, and I’m talking the animated versions. They’re all colorful, flamboyant, foppish for the men and full of socially-unacceptable strength for the women. These were the cornerstones of our childhood nostalgia and characters we still feel culturally attached to.

It’s not just in Disney. Are you a fan of musical theater? Well, then your favorite villain probably got a big song and dance in which they wore some glitter. Classic lit? Google the name of your favorite literary canon villain and “queer theory” and see what happens.

I don’t think we can really say this is good or bad. On one hand, it’s not great that a marginalized group can only see themselves in the character we’re supposed to hate. On the other, though, we don’t always hate that character. Villains hold a unique place in our culture. They do bad things, horrible things, but the story can’t take place without a conflict, and we like when that conflict has a name and a cool design such as a tall, imposing sorcerer/witch in flowing robes - or perhaps a tall, graceful man in a long red coat and a towering crooked top hat.

I’ve had lots of friends and trusted Internet reviewers talking about how queercoding in villains can actually be really empowering. If you’re a fan of the villain, you get to see a power fantasy in which someone who has something very big in common with you gets to enact karma on others for wronging them! You get to wear the cool robes, sing the fun song, do things that are not really legal or acceptable! I think a great analogy is if you check out the book “Dead Blondes and Bad Mothers” by Sady Doyle. It’s primarily about sexism rather than queer issues (though it does touch upon them!), but examines how women throughout pop culture and storytelling history have always been the witch, the monster, the demon, and how that sucks, but it also means that women have a great pile of fictional power fantasies to pick from to indulge in. It’s the same principle. I myself may not be same-gender-attracted, but I am asexual, and still waiting on my glamorous villain who uproots society as revenge for being forced to do something analogous to having a sexual relationship...*taps wristwatch*

Meanwhile, queercoding is not as prevalent in heroes. And I think that’s where everything’s tripping on its own feet. Because a gay villain among a bunch of straight heroes does look pretty bad. Are some of the heroes queercoded as well, though? Well, that’s just realistic diversity. People are gay, and there happen to be some good ones and some evil ones here. I don’t think Snatcher’s dragsona is entirely unproblematic, but I do think it could have been mitigated a lot with more implications that Eggs and Winnie might be queer in some way (and believe me, I choose to interpret them that way, because the more the merrier).

The thing is that in pop culture as of late, there seems to be a trend to scrub away all villainous queercoding because it’s seen as a black-and-white issue. To go back to the Disney villains, do you feel like the live-action recreations of Jafar, Scar, and Gaston are missing a certain je ne sais quoi? Well, think about it through this lens and it might be that you savez quoi after all. They’ve all been made incredibly straight as of late, with off-the-record actor confirmations about having obsessive crushes on the film heroines. I can’t speak to why this has happened; there’s a lot of history behind any given social movement, and I haven’t managed to really unpack this one. “Blame Tumblr” is too easy; I would want to know who were the loudest voices, why they said what they said, and what was the intended accomplishment, not to mention if this had built on other social-media or real-life platforms over the years and was influenced by any outside source by news or marketing. I can’t say why queercoded villains are being burned; I can only say it’s happening. And it was happening big-time in 2014, when The Boxtrolls was released.

I also feel like I would be remiss to mention that The Boxtrolls is based on “Here Be Monsters,” which I believe to be one of the worst books I’ve ever read, bar none. That version of the story has...pretty much everything that’s perceived to be in the film version’s text as problematic. Frou Frou is presented as something to laugh at Snatcher about throughout, largely because everything about Snatcher is presented to make him seem gross or like a buffoon. There’s a whole scene of the hero rifling through his desk to find soiled underwear. Not to mention that the original purpose of Frou Frou in the text was to manipulate the town’s women by dictating the fashion trends they should follow and the beliefs they should hold in order to fit in. This is something that does need commentary on it, but in that text in particular, it seems like the women are silly and easily swayed, and that they’re the town’s weak link because they’re slaves to fashion. The Boxtrolls completely flips this around so that the town’s weak link re: Frou Frou is the rich MEN who objectify women, particularly the men that happen to be in charge of the whole town, and looking at that divide alone tells me how much care was put into this adaptation at every level.

So why’d I do this, besides having a friend who wanted to read it? Because Archibald Snatcher is legitimately one of my favorite fictional characters. Yeah, I know, he’s a horrible person and terribly racist, and no, I don’t think his demonizing an entire people is anything to be emulated. But on one hand, there are places where I not only empathize but identify with him, particularly where it comes to living out the majority of one’s life trying to live up to a meritocracy - I did everything right, so why am I not on top? He’s also just fun and satisfying to me. He’s the exact brand of evil I eat up. He’s quippy, flamboyant, sadistic to a point, and altogether enjoying his job way too much. Even though he isn’t in power all that long, he is a power fantasy for me, too - wishing I had his talent to talk my way into others’ hearts by saying the right thing, and maybe cultivating a little bit of that I didn’t realize I had (but not to use for evil purposes). I loved him from the moment he turned up because of his sheer dynamic presence - his drawn-out vowels, his sinister smile, his silver-tongued manipulations - and to this day I find him an inspiring character when it comes to writing fiction, both in the realms of fanfiction and original villain creation. You could say he’s a comfort character to me. And maybe this has been the delusional rambling of a woman trying to protect a character she likes for surface reasons by spelling out what look like analytical points of discussion.

But I don’t think Laika was trying to be mean-spirited or homo/transphobic in their character creation. I think they were trying to make an engaging villain who had some layers you could pick at to see more about the narrative as a whole and the message of societal corruption and how the way to overcome it is to be true to yourself rather than defined by your status: a lesson Snatcher fails at the finish line when Eggs gives him one last chance to “make you.” And ultimately, if you really and truly did like Archibald Snatcher, you’re not wrong or invalid in the least.

#archibald snatcher #the boxtrolls #boxtrolls #laika #analysis #discourse #long post #hot takes #controversial opinions #you know...all the fun stuff #and then the sequel: op gives him a crossover villain ship to help him self-actualize

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secretlyatargaryen · 4 years

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I promised I’d write about this, and I really do think Tyrion/Lemore is an underrated relationship. And usually when people talk about it they only talk about Tyrion being a fuckboy, and he is, but he’s no worse than the way Jaime treats Brienne through much of ASOS. I think a lot of people use this subplot as merely more evidence for Tyrion’s downward spiral, but what’s really interesting about Lemore is the way she challenges Tyrion when he’s in that dark place of self-loathing and dissociation from others, especially with regards to women.

At the beginning of ADWD, Tyrion is in a place where he is incredibly cynical about love, and no longer interested in the idea of sex, even. He purposefully scares Illyrio’s slave because he wants her to hate him, to see him as disgusting, even though he is not interested in having sex with her. This is framed in stark contrast to the illusion he had previously paid for with sex-workers, in which he wanted to avoid, and feared, “the look” that he describes seeing in reaction to his disability. This is, of course, all linked to his trauma over Tysha, not only the fear of rejection but the sexual trauma of being forced to witness and participate in her rape, which also makes Tyrion a victim of sexual abuse and rape. What Tywin did, essentially, was take a consensual loving experience that Tyrion found comfort in and make it something ugly and disgusting. This makes Tyrion both compelled to re-experience what he had with Tysha by seeking out sex-workers and makes him feel that there is no way he could experience real love. When he learns the truth about Tysha, the coping mechanism of seeking out sex-workers becomes no longer satisfying, and the only thing Tyrion is left with is ugliness and self-blame.

I’d also argue that another major sexual trauma leading up to ADWD is his marriage to Sansa. Tyrion has brief fantasies that he can play a chivalrous romantic when he is married to her, but of course he knows that this isn’t possible. This is, in no way, Sansa’s fault, but being forced into a marriage with her is deeply sexually humiliating. Again, not because she rejected him, but because she is in no position to accept him. Tyrion becomes increasingly withdrawn from relationships, which is shown in his interactions with Sansa and even Shae, who he is less and less satisfied with and more insecure around than ever after his marriage. His sexual shame increases to the point where he can’t bear undressing in front of Sansa, the idealized, innocent maiden. Even the scene where he has sex with Shae among the dragon skulls and afterwards spends several uncomfortable moments searching for his clothes in the dark demonstrates Tyrion’s sexual repression and shame, in contrast to the way Shae treats it as a game.

"Shae . . ." He reached, but she spun and slipped free.

"You have to catch me." Her voice came from his left. "M'lord must have played monsters and maidens when he was little."

"Are you calling me a monster?"

"No more than I'm a maiden." She was behind him, her steps soft against the floor. "You need to catch me all the same."

He did, finally, but only because she let herself be caught. By the time she slipped into his arms, he was flushed and out of breath from stumbling into dragon skulls.

[...]

After, as they lay entwined amongst the dragon skulls, he rested his head against her, inhaling the smooth clean smell of her hair. "We should go back," he said reluctantly. "It must be near dawn. Sansa will be waking."

"You should give her dreamwine," Shae said, "like Lady Tanda does with Lollys. A cup before she goes to sleep, and we could fuck in bed beside her without her waking." She giggled. "Maybe we should, some night. Would m'lord like that?" Her hand found his shoulder, and began to knead the muscles there. "Your neck is hard as stone. What troubles you?"

Tyrion could not see his fingers in front of his face, but he ticked his woes off on them all the same. "My wife. My sister. My nephew. My father. The Tyrells." He had to move to his other hand. "Varys. Pycelle. Littlefinger. The Red Viper of Dorne." He had come to his last finger. "The face that stares back out of the water when I wash."

Shae kissed his maimed scarred nose. "A brave face. A kind and good face. I wish I could see it now."

"Better you than me." Tyrion sat. "We have a long day before us, both of us. You shouldn't have blown out that taper. How are we to find our clothing?"

She laughed. "Maybe we'll have to go naked."

And if we're seen, my lord father will hang you.

Sexual shame is a big part of Tyrion’s narrative, something that has been drilled into him by Tywin. Shae’s carefree nature is put into contrast with the limitations and insecurities Tyrion experiences over his disabled body, both with regard to Sansa and Shae, and his insecurity about being seen naked once the sun comes up.

Interestingly, Tyrion’s insecurity about being seen naked is not present in A Game of Thrones, where he pretty casually walks out of his tent on the Green Fork without putting on clothes and pees outside while having a conversation with Bronn. I used to assume this was because he does not feel sexual shame at Bronn seeing him naked, as he is not sexually attracted to Bronn. Or that it’s just one of those things where Martin had not yet established his characters wholly, and just used this moment to show the casual nudity that is part of the “historical” feel he is going for in his novels. But also it could be that Tyrion’s sexual shame has increased from AGOT to ASOS, due to the events that transpire. By ADWD, Tyrion is afraid to take off his clothes to even bathe, and that’s one of our first introductions to Lemore.

I need to bathe. His boy's clothes stank, and so did he. The others bathed in the river, but thus far he had not joined them. Some of the turtles he'd seen in the shallows looked big enough to bite him in half. Bonesnappers, Duck called them. Besides, he did not want Lemore to see him naked.

Tyrion’s insecurity over his body is centered on Lemore, who he is attracted to, and Lemore is also juxtaposed in contrast to Tyrion’s sexual repression, as she bathes in the river every morning, and does not seem to care who watches her. Indeed, she is aware of Tyrion watching her and openly teases him about it.

"Good morrow, Hugor." Septa Lemore had emerged in her white robes, cinched at the waist with a woven belt of seven colors. Her hair flowed loose about her shoulders. "How did you sleep?"

"Fitfully, good lady. I dreamed of you again." A waking dream. He could not sleep, so he had eased a hand between his legs and imagined the septa atop him, breasts bouncing.

"A wicked dream, no doubt. You are a wicked man. Will you pray with me and ask forgiveness for your sins?"

Only if we pray in the fashion of the Summer Isles. "No, but do give the Maiden a long, sweet kiss for me."

Laughing, the septa walked to the prow of the boat. It was her custom to bathe in the river every morning. "Plainly, this boat was not named for you," Tyrion called as she disrobed.

"The Mother and the Father made us in their image, Hugor. We should glory in our bodies, for they are the work of gods."

The gods must have been drunk when they got to me. The dwarf watched Lemore slip into the water. The sight always made him hard. There was something wonderfully wicked about the thought of peeling the septa out of those chaste white robes and spreading her legs. Innocence despoiled, he thought … though Lemore was not near as innocent as she appeared. She had stretch marks on her belly that could only have come from childbirth.

Tyrion’s open about lusting after Lemore, and doesn’t try to hide it, and in fact seems to want Lemore to know it.

Tyrion’s being openly lecherous, in the way that echoes his behavior when he is playing up the way people see him, as the depraved dwarf. But it seems to be a performance that hides his own insecurity and trauma. He openly stares at her as she is bathing but won’t join in himself. The way he feels about her reads like he’s dissociating, especially in the observations he doesn’t say aloud. He seems like he’s trying to gross her out the way he does to the slave at Illyrio’s, but her response is to give as good as she gets, something which Tyrion seems not to expect, and he constantly deflects any positive things she says about him.

Like, she’s totally flirting with him, and he seems completely unaware of it, even while he fantasizes about her topping him.

When Lemore climbed back onto the deck, Tyrion savored the sight of water trickling between her breasts, her smooth skin glowing golden in the morning light. She was past forty, more handsome than pretty, but still easy on the eye. Being randy is the next best thing to being drunk, he decided. It made him feel as if he was still alive. "Did you see the turtle, Hugor?" the septa asked him, wringing water from her hair. "The big ridgeback?”

"I missed the ridgeback." I was watching the naked woman.

"I am sad for you." Lemore slipped her robe over her head. "I know you only rise so early in hopes of seeing turtles."

"I like to watch the sun come up as well." It was like watching a maiden rising naked from her bath. Some might be prettier than others, but every one was full of promise. "The turtles have their charms, I will allow. Nothing delights me so much as the sight of a nice pair of shapely … shells."

Septa Lemore laughed. Like everyone else aboard the Shy Maid, she had her secrets. She was welcome to them. I do not want to know her, I only want to fuck her. She knew it too. As she hung her septa's crystal about her neck, to nestle in the cleft between her breasts, she teased him with a smile.

Good lord, y’all. Tyrion’s silently like “when will this milf sit on my face” and Lemore is like “let’s have a sexually charged conversation about turtles” and Tyrion’s like “I have no idea how to deal with this scenario but I think I like it?”

He also says that he doesn’t want to know her, which...feels like when Tyrion always lies to himself. Again, he’s trying to inhabit the role of the sexually deviant dwarf without getting attached, but does he really not want to know her? Tyrion repeatedly says throughout ADWD that he doesn’t want love from anyone anymore, but that’s the biggest lie of all.

"You have a gift for making men smile," Septa Lemore told Tyrion as he was drying off his toes. "You should thank the Father Above. He gives gifts to all his children."

"He does," he agreed pleasantly. And when I die, please let them bury with me a crossbow, so I can thank the Father Above for his gifts the same way I thanked the father below.

Again he deflects when Lemore compliments him, which is...what Tyrion does in all his relationships. But he does admit that he enjoys spending time with her, and spends a good amount of time trying to figure her out, for someone who says he doesn’t want to know her.

His doublet was divided down the middle; the left side was purple velvet with bronze studs; the right, yellow wool embroidered in green floral patterns. His breeches were similarly split; the right leg was solid green, the left leg striped in red and white. One of Illyrio's chests had been packed with a child's clothing, musty but well made. Septa Lemore had slit each garment apart, then sewn them back together, joining half of this to half of that to fashion a crude motley. Griff had even insisted that Tyrion help with the cutting and sewing. No doubt he meant for it to be humbling, but Tyrion enjoyed the needlework. Lemore was always pleasant company, despite her penchant for scolding him whenever he said something rude about the gods.

And Lemore seems to enjoy Tyrion’s presence, and openly banters with him throughout this section of the book, challenging his nihilism, sexual repression, and self-loathing. She’s also the one who cares for him after he is nearly drowned in the stonemen attack.

He was on the Shy Maid, Tyrion saw, under a scratchy blanket that smelled of vinegar. The Sorrows are behind us. It was just a dream I dreamed as I was drowning. "Why do I stink of vinegar?"

"Lemore has been washing you with it. Some say it helps prevent the greyscale. I am inclined to doubt that, but there was no harm in trying. It was Lemore who forced the water from your lungs after Griff had pulled you up. You were as cold as ice, and your lips were blue. Yandry said we ought to throw you back, but the lad forbade it."

[...]

Lemore emerged on deck with the prince in tow. When she saw Tyrion, she rushed across the deck to hug him. "The Mother is merciful. We have prayed for you, Hugor.

"You did, at least. "I won't hold that against you."

I think it scares Tyrion that Lemore cares about him, because he still deeply believes that he is unlovable, and Lemore directly challenges that. But he contradicts his own declaration that he doesn’t want to know her. In fact, he’s intensely interested in knowing who she really is.

Lemore had changed out of her septa's robes into garb more befitting the wife or daughter of a prosperous merchant. Tyrion watched her closely. He had sniffed out the truth beneath the dyed blue hair of Griff and Young Griff easily enough, and Yandry and Ysilla seemed to be no more than they claimed to be, whilst Duck was somewhat less. Lemore, though … Who is she, really? Why is she here? Not for gold, I'd judge. What is this prince to her? Was she ever a true septa?

In short, Lemore is an older, experienced woman who not only seems to care for Tyrion, she is openly sexual and is able to go toe to toe with him both intellectually and sexually. Also, like, there are so many different kinky possibilities here. I need fic of this like, yesterday.

#tyrion lannister #septa lemore #valyrianscrolls #asoiaf meta #tyrion x lemore

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airadam · 3 years

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Episode 142 : ...If You Hear Me

"We all need...some fresh air."

- Tobe

This month has been pretty exhausting, but I did have some good ideas for this episode, and once I hit stride with the recording I decided to try and keep the pace up and get it released on a weekend day! The selection has turned out to be heavy on artists who are no longer with us, but left us some great music to remember them by. Get yourself comfortable and press "play"...

Twitter : @airadam13

Twitch : @airadam13

Playlist/Notes

Evidence ft. Raekwon and Ras Kass : The Red Carpet

How is this track ten years old already? Time has flown since the 2011 release of "Cats & Dogs", the second solo Evidence album after four LPs as part of Dilated Peoples. While Evidence is an excellent producer in his own right, the reins here are taken by his future partner in The Step Brothers, The Alchemist. He further shows his confidence by bringing in California's Ras Kass and Raekwon from the Wu to guest, both legendary MCs, and holds his own next to both. A great collection of talent to kick off the show!

[DJ Premier] Gang Starr : What's Real? (Instrumental)

I just had to go back to "One Of The Best Yet" for another Preemo beat! Definitely get the instrumental release if you can, especially as you get the previously-unreleased "Glowing Mic" as a bonus cut.

The Notorious B.I.G ft. DMC : My Downfall

As I say on the voiceover, it feels weird playing a good chunk of Biggie's catalogue given how he ultimately died. This track from "Life After Death" is a perfect example, and feels like a mix of the creative writing he was famed for and maybe a realisation of exactly how much negativity swirled around him even after he had made the transition from the streets to the music industry. The legendary DMC of RUN DMC guests, only on the hook - but he does it well.

Agallah : Slaughter

Just a few bars, just a taste, as I needed something to bridge a track with no instrumental outro and the other with no open bars on the intro! Big respect to Agallah though, who has been putting in work since the mid-90s and will probably have yet another new project out by the time I finish typing this sentence. Find this beat on "Propain Campain Presents Agalllah - The Instrumental Vol. 1".

Sean Price and Small Professor (ft. Rock and DJ Revolution) : Refrigerator P

Heavy business! Ruck (Sean Price) and Rock, formerly the duo Heltah Skeltah, reunite on this killer from the "86 Witness" LP. Small Professor makes the beat dramatic, and DJ Revolution seasons the mix with his trademark super-sharp cuts.

Fred The Godson : Presidents

The Bronx-born-and-bred MC Fred The Godson sadly passed away last April at just 35 - one of the relatively early US casualties of COVID-19. During his lifetime, his catalogue consisted of some highly-rated mixtapes, but only after his death do we finally hear his debut album, "Ascension". This track of course is built (by Hesami) around the same sample as Jay-Z's "Dead Presidents" as Fred expounds on the drug game.

Broke 'n' English : Tryin' (Calibre Mix)

"Tryin'" was one of the standouts on the 2007 debut LP "Subject 2 Status" from this respected Manchester crew. Both Strategy and DRS have a long-standing history in the drum & bass scene, and so it made sense that the remix of this track would be handled by someone like Calibre. Sharp, crisp drum action and a smooth bassline drive this one along, with DRS' vocals being woven in as a refrain. You can hear in this one track how DRS then went on to make several excellent D&B albums - his vocal versatility allows him to shine on any production.

Marco Polo : Cindy

The "MP On The MP" (see what he did there?) beat tape is inspired by a Youtube series he was doing, and features a host of new and unreleased beats. Marco Polo is one keeping this style of production alive, which I'm thankful for. I still think of him as a "new" producer, but he's a veteran with over fifteen years in the industry!

Le$ : Out To Cali

Le$ is a great MC to go to if you want lyrics about just living life and having fun - almost like a Curren$y, but without the extreme high-end references. Right here, he's going to Cali, buying some weed, riding around, and enjoying the view - sometimes it doesn't need to be more lofty than that. Mr.Rogers goes to a familiar sample as a basis for the beat, and if you want more, the whole "Summer Madness" will give you these vibes - and exercise your speakers in the process.

O.C. : What I Need (Keelay Remix)

The "Smoke & Mirrors" LP is a bit of a forgotten one for many, but I really enjoyed it, and when acapellas became available, it was expertly remixed by the Sole Vibe crew out of San Francisco. The classic soul sample (which you may recognise from tracks like "Deeper" by Bo$$) is the foundation, with a heavy kick and skipping hi-hats providing the rhythm. O.C. never lost a step from his first LP, and he's never afraid to put his feelings out there on wax.

Sadat X : Stages & Lights

This is one of those tracks I was stunned to realised I hadn't already played on the podcast, so here it is at last! This Showbiz-produced cut from the 1996 "Wild Cowboys" LP, Sadat's solo debut, was also a B-side on the "Hang 'Em High" single - but definitely stole the show. If you ever find the original sample, you'll be amazed at how Show plucked that one small piece for this beat!

Phife Dawg : Thought U Wuz Nice

Killer B-side action from Phife Dawg, on the flip of the Superrappin "Bend Ova" 12", with J Dilla on the bouncy production. Still can't quite believe that both of these icons are no longer with us.

Saib : Beyond Clouds

The Chillhop label seems to put out endless amounts of beats from producers specialising in sounds inspired by greats like J Dilla and Nujabes, but with their own spin. This one comes from the "Chillhop Essentials Fall 2020" compilation, one of any number that are perfect for soundtracking study, work, or just a lazy day!

213 : Run On Up

That beat by Tha Chill and the delivery of "Shut the f********ck up and ruuuu-uuu-uuuun" by the late great Nate Dogg is enough to make this an absolute classic in my ears, but the full picture is even better. Way before "Doggystyle", "The Chronic", or even "Deep Cover", 213 was the group formed in Long Beach by Nate Dogg, Warren G, and Snoop, before any of them had got their big breaks. Years later, after all of them had become stars in their own rights, it was heart-warming to see them reform for the "The Hard Way" LP, from which this is taken.

Sporty Thievz : Angel

The Sporty Thievz deserve to be remembered for more than "No Pigeons", as much as we enjoyed the whole thing at the time. The "Street Cinema" album may not have quite lived up to the name, but there were some solid cuts on there, and this was one. Produced by King Kirk of the group alongside Ski, this track has all the foreboding, and while the singing on the hook may not be Marvin Gaye level, it absolutely works here.

Jean Grae : My Crew

One of the great underrated MCs - not because her skills are in question, but simply because not enough people know her! She's in fine early 2000s form on this cut from the "Bootleg of the Bootleg EP", produced by China Black. Straight boom-bap, and she cuts through with clarity and dexterity. Jean Grae raps, sings, produces, acts...one of the true talent of the culture.

Bronx Slang : Just Say No

New single from Jerry Beeks and Ollie Miggs, who have really been on a hot streak the last couple of years. It's nice to hear some protest music in an era that really calls for it, and if this is a marker of how good the upcoming second album is going to be, then you need to reserve a space in your crates right now! Jadell on production brings an appropriate heaviness to the track, no lightness on the beat!

[Ron Browz] Big L : The Heist (Instrumental)

All these years and I'd never looked to see who produced this beat from Big L's posthumously-released LP "The Big Picture" - come to find out it's one of Ron Browz' first credits. He's much better known for "Ether" by Nas, which came in 2001. The vocal version of this track is what the name suggests, a robbery tale, and you can hear the sound effects that punctuate the narrative still here in the instrumental.

Tobe Nwigwe : Fresh Air

Tobe Nwigwe and his collective (including his wife Fat and his producer Nell) have been quietly on the rise for a while, but in very recent times their profile has elevated noticeably. "The Pandemic Project" is a short six-track album from last year, and another quality addition to the catalogue. This man is an amazing MC, and Nell's often-unconventional beats are the perfect canvas. Don't sleep!

Please remember to support the artists you like! The purpose of putting the podcast out and providing the full tracklist is to try and give some light, so do use the songs on each episode as a starting point to search out more material. If you have Spotify in your country it's a great way to explore, but otherwise there's always Youtube and the like. Seeing your favourite artists live is the best way to put money in their pockets, and buy the vinyl/CDs/downloads of the stuff you like the most!

Check out this episode!

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mykedrop · 4 years

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Persona 5 Royal Thoughts

Alright so there’s a lot I want to talk about here. Fair warning, this write up is actually like, really damn long. Also like HUGE spoiler warning below the cut! I played the original when it came out, bought a PS4 practically only to play Persona 5 not even knowing if I’d like it. But I did! I loved it, loved all of it. Beat the game in just over 100 hours I think. Easily became my second favorite game ever. So now here comes Persona 5 Royal, adds a bunch of new stuff, a lot of little stuff and some pretty huge additions and reworks, includes all the dlc from P5 which is nice. It’s a strictly better version of the game I already thought was amazing enough.

I remember being a little wary of going for it and reading a non-spoiler list of all the changes, which are actually A LOT when you list them out. Then I thought about how much I loved playing the original, and figured I’m not doing much else right now, so I got it. And BOY that game just checks all the boxes for me. It’s the same game, but better now. There’s a little more depth to playing the game and more stuff!

One of the biggest additions and probably my favorite addition is Maruki’s story and confidant. Everything involving him I thought was incredible. First of all the man is a dreamboat. Secondly great voice actor. Thirdly the story built around him was really awesome to play through. Every time some new story beats came through while playing through the first parts of the game I always thought how great it all fit in. It made sense, it kind of opened up the world of the game a little more narrative-wise and it all felt right. And the SONG (Ideal and the Real) that plays in Maruki’s office is so GOOD. That song plays in my head 24/7 and I love it. He’s got such a great personality and story and it was a great time getting to rank him up. The song ALONE made me want to hang out with him as much as possible. It’s an angle I wasn’t expecting, his story I mean, and while the “right” choice was pretty clear, it still made me think about what he was trying to accomplish. And they drove the point home real hard during the final stretch of the game before you figure out what’s going. It’s so hard to look at your friends having such a good life and go, “yeah no I don’t think so.” But that’s a whole different discussion. It felt sort of morally ambiguous, which was really cool. And I also like that Maruki gives you a choice, not only once but twice. Which again, gives you pause, even if only a short one.

So that brings me to another one of the biggest additions: the new palace. BOY I love this palace. From the way it’s first introduced so early on, to how you keep peeking in every once in a while making a little progress here and there. Until finally you’re able to just go wild at the end. This palace feels like the team designing this was told go all out. The aesthetic, the mechanics, the layout. Going through this I had a big ol smile on my face the entire time at how different it felt compared to those in the original game. Those are good too, don’t get me wrong. I don’t have any palaces I dislike. But I can easily imagine some ideas and how incredible some palaces would be with the level of detail and complexity of Maruki’s palace. It’d be kind of ridiculous and extremely difficult no doubt, maybe even a little too much to ask for I think. Anyway, seeing the garden section of the palace for the first time was INCREDIBLE. They went so crazy with making almost every part of that palace look amazing! And that last area was easily my favorite of the palaces in terms of looks and theme. They did a good job of conveying the scale of that giant tree where the treasure is at with those stairs. Plus it’s another great moment to show of the smaller details of the palace like some flowers, the lighting, some other really neat effects. It was great! And the whole boss fight at the end was so fantastic to watch! I’ll say that even at the hardest difficulty, my SO (who is a turn-based combat FIEND) didn’t have too much of a difficult time with the fight. But the mechanics of it were so interesting! I loved the ideas they went with. Again it felt like they really gave it their all with this palace. The story beats during the fight were incredible as well, and they gave me one of my favorite moments back that used to be in the Yaldabaoth fight: Press X to Fire! The fight with Maruki at the end was also pretty novel too, and so dramatic! The snow falling at the end, the glass platforms collapsing, it all looked so GOOD. One of my favorite things in any game like this (remake/remaster/GOTY version/etc.) is getting to listen to NEW MUSIC. And this palace KILLED IT with music, as did the rest of the game as usual. There’s no feeling that compares to being right at the edge of beating a Persona game. And this palace was a hell of an out of the park home run. After 170 hours, it was so bittersweet to beat the final boss and move on towards the rest of the story. I loved playing through that palace and it’s a shame I’ll never get to experience it for the first time again.

On to one of the more advertised additions: Yoshizawa! My first thought when I saw her way back when when they first revealed her is I thought she’d be a female protagonist. Which I thought would be INCREDIBLE. Even if it’s not exactly my preference, I would’ve been so HYPE to romance one of the guys. I didn’t really think about it from a gameplay standpoint, as there are way more girl confidants than guys, but still I thought it’d be fun to potentially explore that! Obviously that wasn’t the case, but now on to what I think of the new confidant! I love her! Like absolutely 100% love her so much! Let me tell you just how those concept meetings went down when they were making Yoshizawa: Cute girl, in cute clothes, who has a cute personality. Done, the perfect character. Of course she’s much more than that, but on the surface level it’s easy to see where they were going with this character. Playing the game I had zero idea about her eventual involvement in the final section of the game, so seeing her only have 5 confidant levels I was a little disappointed! Maxed her out as fast as possible and waited... Seeing her story woven through the original narrative was also super fun. Like Maruki, I really liked seeing her in places where she wasn’t before, and adding new scenes and such around to flesh out her character throughout the first two semesters. Then came the new part of the game after the holy grail fight. I was absolutely not expecting that twist with Yoshizawa. I had no idea that they would go somewhere like THAT in this game! It totally caught me off guard and I LOVED IT. What an incredible story all around. And like super fucked! The whole reveal moment was FANTASTIC! Had my jaw on the floor and everything! Her entire confidant was fun, using her in combat was fun, and her romance path was extremely fun! There’s nothing I don’t like about her really. She had such a wild story and such an amazing arc that I can’t not love her! She’s not my favorite confidant, but still adding in a new character like her into such a tight-knit group like the phantom thieves that i already loved as is is such a risky move! It’s so hard to improve upon a dynamic like theirs I think, but they made it work when they needed to! Anyway I love her character a lot and her story and all that. Beautiful.

Speaking of adding new characters to a dynamic, this might be my favorite addition/rework in the entire game: Akechi. Holy crap I can’t tell you how much I LOVED HEARING AKECHI JUST GO OFF EVERY BATTLE, or while we went riding through mementos, or just all his new dialogue and confidant level ups. Akechi very quickly and easily became one of my favorite parts about the new part of the game. His character was such a HUGE CLASH with every other character in the party, especially Yoshizawa! Which I have to imagine isn’t an accident. He is fuckin CRAZY. Unlocking his Showtime attack was BONKERS. That whole sequence with Yoshizawa and Akechi in Maruki’s palace was so GOOD. Having Akechi be part of the team was an amazing breath of fresh of air. Trust me when I say I have ZERO problem or complaint with the overly positive nature of the party. But MAN it is FUN to see Akechi just be an ABSOLUTE ASSHOLE. Every new interaction with Akechi was a TREASURE. Dropping the “detective prince” act was 100000% the right move. Even more fun was seeing Haru and Akechi’s interactions in mementos. The way every character acted towards him was pretty good, but something about Haru’s overbearing positivity towards him was really fun to watch. I can’t stress enough how much Akechi added to the experience of the final act of the game. His persona? Badass. His personality? Absolutely cutthroat and also badass. His hair? Still incredible. Also the only character in the game who will only play 701 in darts. That threw me for a fuckin LOOP the first time I invited him out for darts. Dude is a STUD in like every way. Love Akechi A LOT. He singlehandedly brought the experience up from an 11/10 to a 12/10. This game is so much better with Akechi being able to go batshit crazy. One of my favorite interactions is during battle: when you heal the whole party, with Akechi and Ryuji being two of the active members, depending on their order, you’ll have Akechi say “No time for thanks” right before you hear Ryuji say “Thanks!” Just thought that really exemplified how much of an ass he is, and how much I love him for it. He is THE badass asshole character this game didn’t know it needed but absolutely deserved. How much of a bad ass do you have to be to able to look at your inevitable death in the face and say “this is how it has to be.” One of the coolest parts of the whole game is him not only accepting his eventual fate, but actively driving you towards making that decision.

Next up I suppose I’ll talk about Maruki as a character. Love the way he was included, and liked all his interactions with all the characters during the first part of the game. He’s just so likable and honestly very relatable for me. Helping people through counseling has always been a personal goal of mine, so it’s always interesting to see how characters doing the same are portrayed. And while his overarching plan is something I don’t agree with, wanting to help people drives you to do crazy things sometimes. I felt for the guy. I enjoyed all the hangouts with him, and felt like I really understood his goals. The way his entire story was crafted did an incredible job of divulging all the right information at the right time. Before Akechi 2.0 came around, he was my favorite part of the game! I love the confidants and the stories they tell and interacting with them and all that. I looked forward to ranking up Maruki and trying to see what he was all about. The more I learned the more I liked him. Before, during, and after the palace my feelings about him didn’t change much. The man went crazy sure, but I still couldn’t bring myself to hate him or even dislike him. I love the man! My SO had no mercy for the man during the boss fight, but I felt bad seeing her kick his ass! I thought they did a good job mixing up the motivations for Maruki as a villain. Making him a confidant made it so much more difficult to picture him as the big bad evil guy. Plus he has like one of the best songs tied to him in Ideal and the Real. I’ll mention that as much as I feel is necessary.

So now I’ll go through all of the smaller details that I really liked in no particular order. Kichijoji was a great destination, gave me a lot to do over the course of the game. The phone calls after you hang out with a confidant are a very welcome addition! It’s a way to fit in more dialogue which I always love, and gives you a chance to rank up the confidant a lot quicker. There’s the fact that Morgana no longer forces you to sleep nearly as often, letting you at least mess around in LeBlanc, which helps rank up your social stats. I LOVE THE DARTS MINI GAME. And I’m so glad it also gave you an upgrade for your baton passes. I did not play enough darts. The jazz club was also MY JAM. Again more dialogue, great music, and a fun way to give your confidants new skills or stat boosts. One thing that I find really funny is the way they handled Valentine’s Day. They CHANGED IT. I know they added a lot of new stuff to them for new story reasons. but they CHANGED THE CONTEXT OF THE DATES. For example, in the original P5, Kawakami makes it VERY CLEAR what’s going down later. Ann too! But in P5R, that context is GONE LMAO they really went and changed the dialogue to be less sexual. It’s strange, but mostly I found it funny considering Takemi’s max rank conversation is untouched, among plenty of other ones. Anyway White Day was a GREAT addition! The final part of the date overlooking the city is AMAZING. That reveal made my jaw drop. Speaking of things that changed, the Christmas date also changed, and I like the change a lot! Watching the snow fall from the window on the bed was a great touch. The changes to boss battles and some parts of palaces because of the grappling hook were very welcome. The grappling hook itself was also extremely handy. The thieves den is an incredible addition that adds SO MUCH NEW DIALOGUE AND CONTEXT THAT IT’S A CRIME THAT IT’S HIDDEN IN THE DEN! Anyway. I’ll never say no to new personas. The showtime attacks are a GEM. The new music in this game is AWESOME. I can’t stop listening to the soundtrack. I really enjoyed getting to see a little bit of the dynamic between Sojiro, Futaba and Wakaba. I never knew just how much I wanted to see that until I saw the bit of it in the late part of the game. I don’t remember if it was in the original game, but I LOVE that one of Yusuke’s battle lines is “How do you want to do this?” LOVE IT. Oh Chihaya’s confidant boosting fortune reading was SUPER CLUTCH. Extremely good quality of life right there. I love the extra little bit they added to the warden’s confidant, getting to take them out of the velvet room and show them around. Super cute. Iwai’s gun customization was pretty sweet. Adding Jose to mementos was strange, but very welcome! It made going around much more interesting. Oh speaking of, buffing Ryuji’s instant kill was a GREAT idea. Haha Morgana go vroom vroom. The alarm in the velvet room was also awesome and made making the perfect persona a million times easier.

It’s been a few weeks now since I’ve finished the game, and it’s unfortunate that I can’t remember more of the little things. This whole write up has been an on and off thing since I finished P5R. Still I love the game and don’t really have any complaints. Well maybe one: LET ME FEED YUSUKE. Someone please feed that man. I forgot how much I loved playing the original game, and going through it again with all the new stuff was a total pleasure! And obviously the 3rd semester was an incredible experience. If you like the original a lot, and it’s been a while since you played it, get P5R. If you never played the original but were interested in it, get P5R. Anyway that’s all I got to say about it.

#Persona 5 Royal spoilers #Persona 5 Royal #P5R #P5R Spoilers #Persona 5 Spoilers

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