#okay so like i ordered instacart right

[125storejuice]

.

#okay so like i ordered instacart right #because i ruined the sponge and we need to do dishes over here lolol and the other sponges are still packed away #or maybe lost for forever who knows #anyway so i ordered it but i didnt realize my roommates like #whole family would be coming over #so now im hiding upstairs when dreaming of snacks #i just dont want to talk to anyone !!!¡!! #oh god they are coming upstairs #im in bed in my underwear #and my door is like open #why #why lmao #WHY #NOW I CANT STOP LAUGHING #and im just like sitting in the dark with my door slighly ajar #AHHHHHH

[tinkerbelle05]

friends to lovers with jaime reyes please? the movie had me in my feels fr ‼️

From Friends to Something More?

Characters: Jaime Reyes x Fem!reader

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Summary: (Requested) thanks and same, I full on cried during the movie. After you experienced a bad break up, Jaime is there to pick up the pieces. 💙

Warnings: pinning, jealousy,

-

All you wanted to was sink into your couch and continued shoving ice cream into your mouth.

Your long time boyfriend for 5 years decided to dump you, right out of the blue. And it was a simple text, cold and distant.

“We’re done,” the message read and he blocked you on everything.

You were shocked, confused, angry. But all you could feel was numbness. I mean, you two were going through a rough patch in your relationship but it was nothing you couldn’t handle.

Well, that’s what you thought at least. So for a day, you laid in bed, self pity fulling your body when you eventually stopped being numb. You had turned off your phone the night before.

Knowing yourself, you would’ve scrolled through your texts threads looking for any and all indicating that he was going to break up with you. Reading in between the lines, dissecting the words over and over again until you could’ve recite most of the messages.

It was getting ugly and unhealthy pretty fast so you decided to unplug for a bit, within the comfortable confines of your apartment. You didn’t feel strong enough to brave the outside yet.

You and your ex lived pretty close to each other, which once was a blessing now a curse.

You didn’t know where he could be out and about so you decided to take advantage of Grubhub and Instacart. You rarely used them because of their rather high prices but you’ll make an exception.

There’s a knock on your front door and you could only assume it’s the deliver person. You chose the option no contact because you looked like a mess with red, puffy eyes and let’s not even talk about the hair.

You opened the door, expecting to see groceries but you saw Jaime and groceries.

You hastily attempted to make yourself look somewhat presentable, “What…what are you doing here?”

He lets himself in your apartment, taking off his shoes and placing the bags on the coffee table.

“You haven’t been answering my phone calls or texts.” He turned around and dragged his hand through his hair, “I…I know you said you’ll offline but I was still worried for you. You just went dark outta the blue for weeks.”

“Well as you can see I’m alive and well,” you laughed bitterly and gestured to yourself.

“Well?” He chuckled softly.

You bark out a laugh—something you haven’t done in a while—and laid on the couch while Jaime packed away your groceries.

It was nice being with someone, especially with Jaime. You could never understand why but you just felt naturally at ease whenever Jaime was around. You needed your space but now you needed comfort.

“What do you want for dinner?” He asked.

“What’s in the fridge?” You responded.

While you bought groceries, well, there wasn’t many things that you could make with them. Well, things that any sane person would eat anyway.

“Okay, so pizza then?” He suggested and flopped on to the couch next to you.

From how close you two were, you could smell the aftershave he used this morning, it smelt good.

No, no. Jaime is your friend, friend only. Nothing more, nothing less.

You broke out of your thoughts by Jaime snapping his fingers in front of you. He looked mildly concerned.

“Are you okay?” He asked and turned his whole body to get a better look at you.

“Oh..yea, yea I’m good. But yea pizza sounds great. Cheese, please?”

He didn’t seem to believe you with the way he rolled his eyes however he let it go,”But aren’t you-“

You putted your finger to his mouth to shush him.

“It’s okay, I’ll be fine. Order please so it can come soon, and I won’t have to die of starvation,” you dramatically placed your arm over your eyes, which caused Jaime to laugh.

“Okay, okay. Just don’t go crying to me when your stomach starts to hurt,” he warned.

“My stomach doesn’t hurt that bad when I eat cheese,” you confidently dismissed him, knowing you were lying through your teeth.

Soon the pizza came, and you and Jaime were half way through the Fast & Furious franchise.

“They’re coming out with a new movie,” Jaime informed you, his head resting on the palm of his hand.

You turned to him in shock, “Really? They still making movies?”

Jaime chuckled softly and it’s music to your ears, “Yea, that’s what my mom said.” After a while there’s silence then, “She misses you. They all do.”

You sighed, “Yea I miss them too.”

I missed you too.

You wanted to desperately say that, to confess. It was hard to know if these feelings were romantic or platonic but you felt them deeply. And you were just dumped so maybe these feeling weren’t real at all. Your just lonely and that’s why these thoughts keep popping up in your brain.

That’s why your heart skips a beat whenever Jaime’s hand graced your leg.

That’s why you feel tongue tied when he laughs or looks at you with those gorgeous eyes.

That’s why-

“Are you sure your okay?” He asked again, looking more concerned than last time.

You nodded, “Of course I am.”

“If your gonna lie to my face, then at least learn to lie better,” he grumbled and moved slightly away for you. It was small but noticeable, and it hurted you.

“What’s your problem?” You asked with a glare on your face.

Jaime looked like he wanted to say something, like it was on the tip of his tongue but he shook his head and stayed quiet. The silence was loud and deafening.

You scooted closer on the couch to Jaime, the light from the tv lighting up the profile of his face, “Out with it. We both know that you wanna say it, so say it.”

He turned to face you, and that’s when you noticed how close you two were. Closer than you were before, but you didn’t let that distract you. You were on a mission.

He sighed, “It’s rude.”

You tilted your head, “And when has that every stopped you before?”

“I told you so,” was that left Jaime mouth. It was short, to the point but you understood.

You sighed and leaned your head against the couch, “Yea, I know.”

“So what did you even see in him?” Jaime asked.

I was tired of being lonely.

I was tired of longing.

I was tired of wanting something I couldn’t have.

You scratched the back of your neck, “Um it’s stupid and I wanna forget about him.”

Jaime nodded and cracked a smile, “Like it’ll be easy to forget him. Everything about him is unmemorable.”

You let out a low chuckle at his snide comment. Jaime never really liked your boyfriend, though he always kept his opinions to himself (or well attempted to anyway) and didn’t start anything.

A comfortable silence had formed between the two of you as you both watched the movie. You still were stealing quick glances at Jaime, wishing you had the courage to just say what you wanted.

Before you knew it, your head was on his and you were fast asleep. You didn’t see the soft smile on Jaime’s face when he looked down at you, how much love that was in his eyes.

Maybe the feelings you have for him, aren’t completely unrequited.

-

Tags: @wintersdeadd, @allthingsvicf, @sodacatz, @bluecray0nn, @scryarchives, @dcnerd98, @alexa-33, @666kpopfan, @marmar-c, @asvterias, @zerosinterweb, @xiaryye, @shslsimpette, @itsyagrillkat, @losingmywayyyy, @1clownette1, @nightwingandhissquad, @avatarl0v3r, @17ppm3, @fullsiinner, @zerosinterweb, @

Taglist & Anonlist & Masterlist & Reqs Info

#jaime reyes x you #jaime reyes x y/n #jaime reyes x reader #jaime reyes fic #jaime reyes fanfiction #jaime reyes imagine #jaime reyes fanfic #jaime reyes #blue beetle fanfiction #blue beetle x reader #blue beetle fanfic #blue beetle imagines #blue beetle fic #blue beetle imagine #blue beetle x you #blue beetle x y/n #reader insert

[tubatwo]

Soft Taehyun thought..

You had a hard day at work and as soon as you walked into your shared apartment and you saw Taehyun you burst into tears waffling about how hard your day was inbetween sobs and hes just pulled you to him and sat you on his lap as you cry into his neck and hes just rubbing your back and stroking your hair while he whispers “everything is gonna be okay honey…” , “shhh its okay tomorrow will be better..” or like “take the day off tomorrow..” or just asking if he should go get your favourite snacks from the store and you two can cuddle watching your favourite movie

(sorry its long)

oh my god taehyun comfort prompts make me so so soft I would literally do anything to hug him!!! he cares so much about his loved ones and he’s so protective (the way he’s possessive over kai and doesn’t like seeing him cry.. brb gonna lay on the floor and just die)

can I just make this even more heart wrenching and suggest if it was his first time seeing you cry.. obviously crying in front of someone is kinda awkward and your relationship was still somewhat fresh. you weren’t sure how taehyun would react and you also didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. but the day just sucked so badly!!!! no matter how good you were at brushing things off, there were just so many things that you couldn’t ignore :( the only thing you wanted to do was go home and see your boyfriend.

and when you finally see him, you can’t help but let out everything you were holding in. the world was harsh and nasty, but taehyun was everything but that. he was a reminder that love and light still existed.

“b-baby?” he froze for a second before standing up quickly, rushing over to your shaking figure by the door. “are you okay? what happened?” the only thing on his mind at this point is 1. what happened 2. why it happened and 3. whose ass does he have to beat lmao

“i’m s-sorry,” you let out in between hiccups, “t-today was so horrible, i’m really s-sorry.”

“oh honey..” he whispers, softly guiding you to the couch where he then pulls you onto his lap. “why are you apologizing, hm?”

“don’t wanna ruin the mood.. feel stupid for crying.” you confess.

taehyun pulls your head into his neck as you cry harder, feeling frustrated from the day and now for ruining your boyfriend’s mood. little do you know that he’s grateful. he’s grateful that you came to him and you feel safe enough to give him all of you, including your emotions.

“shhh.. you’re not ruining anything, sweetheart. and you shouldn’t feel stupid. I love you, you know?” your sobs die down as you become mesmerized by your boyfriend’s voice right by your ears, his hands slowly caressing your back. “i’m right here, okay? everything’s okay now.. I got you..”

and that was all you needed. you knew that as long as you had him then you would be okay. everything would be alright. you finally lift your head up to meet his eyes. he chuckles softly at how cute you look, tears and all </333

“my sweet baby..” he coos, using his sleeve to endearingly wipe the tears off your cheeks. “take the day off tomorrow, yeah? you deserve a break.”

and before you could even protest he was already cutting you off. “and take this.” he quickly unlocks his phone and taps a few buttons before handing it to you. you tilt your head in confusion, not fully understanding what he’s asking you.

“your instacart order. add any snacks you want. the only thing you need to worry your pretty little head about tonight are snacks, movies, and cuddles.”

ASKSKDKD ok can you tell i’m getting carried away I just love him so much (´•ω•̥`) and don’t apologize for making it long!!! the more details you guys give the easier it is to imagine the scene in my head

(btw if you were having a hard day and that inspired this ask I hope your day is better!!!)

soft hours open!

#txt imagines #txt x reader #txt imagine #txt x you #txt fluff #txt x oc #txt scenarios #asks #txt reactions #txt headcanons #soft asks #taehyun x reader #taehyun imagines #txt soft thoughts #txt soft hours #taehyun fluff

[n3onstarss]

Hello person who also likes Lyla. Could you write fluff hcs of Lyla x reader who is like dying of period cramps? On the floor rn.

sorry if that's an uncomfy topic!

have a nice day ^^

Hello hello person who also also likes Lyla! Yes, ofc I can! I hope you enjoy these!

HCs below the cut!

The entire time your body is betraying you she's wishing she had a physical form

Mostly so she can cuddle you and tell you you'll be okay, but also to get you everything you need

Until then, she's constantly paging someone to come help

Like, Gwen could just be going about her day or Jess could be mid-fight and all of the sudden Lyla is a little hologram on their watches telling them you need more pain killers or a heating pad

She calls in every favor in the books and blackmails Miguel into letting you stay in HQ or letting her stay in your universe in the watch until its over

He relents with specific rules about needing to come when called and needing to be ready in case of an emergency, but otherwise she's right there with you

Will hack your TV or computer or phone to play your favorite shows or music and will scam doordash into bringing you free food (or she charges it to Miguel's card, it's a 50/50)

Keeps you in her sight as best she can unless you need or specifically request privacy. Not to be overbearing, no, but to make sure you don't just keel over and die like you keep swearing you will

Has a little monitor floating around with all the others that's basically a direct video call straight to your phone or whatever device you've got on you. It's the only window she has open consistently and never closes for that few days to a week. (Again, closes if you ask or need privacy, but not without some jokey whining or playful sass)

Need a supply run? Not anymore, one of the spiders has been asked to bring you what you need or a instacart has been ordered. Painkillers? Already on their way. Need to go to work or school? She's on the watch/phone the entire time, if not hanging out in the corner of whatever screen is available and just sitting with you.

If she needs to check on someone for a mission she's very reluctant and sasses whoever told her to until she gets back, and she's back fast when she decides it's taking too long

Will absolutely sing you to sleep or tell stories and gossip, just depends on what you both feel like

All in all, will not leave your side unless strictly required, and works around her hologram/AI state to get you taken care of until your period is over

This got longer than I expected it to be, but the thoughts just kept coming! I hope you enjoy and I hope your cramps aren't actually killing you! Make sure to drink some water and stay safe, anon!

#thank you for requesting!! #request #lyla atsv x reader #lyla atsv #lyla x reader #atsv x reader #atsv

[likea-black-widow-baby]

I posted 2,001 times in 2022

227 posts created (11%)

1,774 posts reblogged (89%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@likea-black-widow-baby

@redvanillabee

@marvelladiesdaily

@marvelsaos

@womenofmcu

I tagged 1,126 of my posts in 2022

Only 44% of my posts had no tags

#mundie says things - 110 posts

#agents of shield - 77 posts

#it’s an ask! - 68 posts

#marvel memes - 57 posts

#melinda may - 47 posts

#it's an ask! - 42 posts

#daisy johnson - 39 posts

#taylor swift rule - 39 posts

#marvel - 35 posts

#phil coulson - 35 posts

Longest Tag: 134 characters

#wait does the ‘ben’ in her name mean ‘child of’ a titan because that would be the funniest use of random hebrew i think i’ve ever seen

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

See the full post

288 notes - Posted June 5, 2022

#4

The entire ethos of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is captured in the moment when tiny human Melinda May put herself between Skye and the Asgardian goddess of war I think.

316 notes - Posted April 20, 2022

#3

After living communally for a while, I have so many questions about how The Bus was run.

Was there a chore wheel? Did they stick it up on the fridge? Did Skye keep turning it to avoid having to clean the bathrooms only for it to be miraculously reset the next time she saw it? The whole plane probably got deep cleaned by SHIELD cleaners whenever they touched down at a base, but shared kitchens and bathrooms need to be swept and wiped down at least twice a week.

Were May and Ward in charge of cleaning the gym equipment? Was that how he got her to spar with him for the first time? Did he teach Skye how to wipe down boxing gloves when she started training?

Fitz and Simmons were definitely in charge of cleaning the lab, so they definitely made their own roomba to clean it for them. Did they name it? The dwarves all have names so they had to have. Did Ward keep tripping over Snowy the Bus Roomba and what did Fitzsimmons make it say when it hit things? What did they make Snowy say when Ward stepped on her!!

How did they order groceries? We see Fitz eating popcorn and pretzels in season 1, and Ward mentions Fitz’s candy stash so how did he GET this stuff?? You can’t exactly instacart to “the mobile command unit in the middle of the Atlantic. Yeah, you see the cloud that looks like a dragon? Keep going and make a right.” Did they do grocery runs? Did they write up a shopping list and send some poor level 1 agent to Costco when they touched down? What counted as SHIELD funded and what was a personal expense? Was May upset when they bought Bigelow green tea with elderberry instead of plain green like she asked for? We see Ward making a sandwich in episode 9 so we know they have fresh food, and Coulson has standards.

Speaking of, what was cooking like? Simmons clearly didn’t know Coulson could cook when he made her dinner in season 2, so were communal meals not a thing? Did Coulson just cook for himself and May? How did they hide it?

Where was Coulson’s candy stash and did he and Fitz keep finding each other’s candy while searching for new spots to hide theirs? What. Trashy. Processed. Food. Was. Skye’s. Favorite. And Who Stole It Most Often. I need ANSWERS, Jedmo, ANSWERS

323 notes - Posted April 11, 2022

#2

New meme template for your consideration

345 notes - Posted July 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

“Oh this character is evil” “Oh that character is obnoxious” “Oh your fave is actually problematic”

Okay but have you considered that I could not give less of a shit about their morality as long as they are interesting

486 notes - Posted May 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #long post

[mlleclaudine]

Kristen Kish, the New Face of Top Chef, on Graza, Gay Bars, and Getting Married

Interview magazine - March 1, 2024. Photographed by Huy Luong; styled by Lucy Gaston

In 10 short years, Kristen Kish went from Top Chef champ to Top Chef host, after being tapped to replace Padma Lakshmi as the one charged with telling crestfallen cooks to pack their knives and go. But before the 40-year-old Midwesterner enters the pressure-cooker environment of the legendary show’s 21st season, she sounds off on Instacart, IV drips, and getting married.

‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗

CHILI CRISP

“God, every chef has one. There are some really good ones. There’s only been one that I’ve had to throw away because I didn’t enjoy it, and no, I’m not going to tell you whose that is.”

‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗

INSTACART 

“Saved me during the pandemic. Having your groceries delivered? Who knew what a luxury that would be, not having to haul bags over your shoulders once a month to avoid the things that were happening in 2020.”

‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗

POP-TARTS

“Toaster Strudels are far superior.”

‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗

ANXIETY 

“Got it. So does everyone else.”

‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗

CAESAR SALAD

“The real Caesar salad, I’m all for. The dressings that are made with globs of mayonnaise, that’s not a Caesar salad.”

‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗

PACKING

“I have the best wife. She efficiently packs for me most trips. I pull everything out of the closet, and she somehow fits it into the smallest carry-on that we have. I love her for that.”

‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗

KNIVES

“I have far too many, but a lot of home cooks don’t have enough. Somewhere in the middle is where you should be. Maybe I should start selling mine on eBay or something.”

‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗

SNACKS

“Crispy, crunchy, salty—anything salt and vinegar.”

‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗

SNACKING

“I’m a volume eater, and I want to eat a meal. When I have to eat a snack, I feel like I’m that person that says, ‘I just need to eat to live.’ So if I’m feeling low-energy and I need something in order to keep going, I’ll have a snack. But my preferred way of eating is a meal.”

‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗

IV DRIPS

“I had one once when I was in the hospital, because I had the flu. I got so ill that I could not keep liquids down, and I felt like shit. I know that there’s clinics around where you go if you’re hungover, but IV drips for me remain in hospitals.”

‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗

EXECUTIVES

“Many are my bosses. I am also one because I am an executive chef.”

‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗

GRAZA OLIVE OIL

“Right, okay. It’s very affordable and they really, really crushed it with the squeeze bottle, but there are tastier olive oils out there, in my opinion.”

‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗

FAST CASUAL

“Big fan. I love anything fast casual. I am not a three-hour, go-to-dinner, sit-there-all-night kind of person anymore, unless it’s something really special.”

‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗

OVERSHARING

“It depends on what you’re sharing and who you’re sharing it with. A lot of times we are guilty of undersharing, and everything remains surface-level. Oversharing in some contexts is an opportunity to be vulnerable, to connect with people. It’s an opportunity for someone to not feel alone, by hearing how someone else feels. If that’s oversharing, I’m a fan.”

TOPS

“I love a cotton t-shirt or a hoodie.”

‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗

CHEFS

“Oh, I see what you did there.”

‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗

FAST FOOD

“Love-hate relationship. I hate it for all the reasons that it’s not good for you, but there are moments in everyone’s lives where we need fast, easy, cheap, and convenient. It is what it is.”

‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗

BURNS

“I cover mine up with tattoos, but if you’re a cook who has burns and scars all the way up your arms, you’re doing something wrong. It’s time to rethink and reconfigure the way you’re cooking.”

‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗

GAY BARS

“I came out when I was 28. My big bar times were 21 to 26. By the time I hit 28, I was phasing my way outside of bars in general. But I’m all for a place where people can gather and feel safe amongst like-minded people who make you feel not alone.”

‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗

AUSTIN

“Arlo Grey is one of the best restaurants in Austin, Texas. I’m not saying that because it’s mine. I’m saying it because I have a great group of people running it day-to-day, so I can be here with you doing things like this.”

‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗

MARRIAGE

“I used to never want to get married, because less than 10 years ago, I wasn’t allowed to by way of the Supreme Court. But I’m now happily married to the greatest human to walk this earth.”

‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗

Hair: Yu Nakata using Living Proof at 87 Artists.

Makeup: Ayaka Nihei using Dior Rouge.

Nails: Nori using Chanel at See Management.

Retouching: Sacnetinc.

Photography Assistant: Madeleine Dalla.

Fashion Assistant: Nicholson Baird.

Location: Chalet Studios.

#Kristen Kish #Interview magazine #March 2024 #long post

[l0reenthusiast]

does anyone else have a really specific memory/memories the associate with a certain song but that memory has literally no significance whatsoever? no?

anyway, mine are when i was in 9th grade, it was April and i was in English, my last class of the day. i rode the early bus at that school, so i got lucky and was allowed to leave early every day. i was working on an essay that we had 3 weeks to work on, and i was on the part where i was organizing my paragraphs and all that junk. then YKWIM? came on as i was working, the whole class was quiet, only i could hear the song, and it just kind of felt like i was the only thing in the world that existed. i looked up at the time and it was 2:34, meaning i had to leave. i packed my stuff, got up and left, and then walked to my usual spot where i would wait for the bus, pulling out my umbrella as it had been raining all class.

the second one was during the summer that same year. on the weekends, my mom would take orders for instacart for extra money. she thought it would be good experience for me so i could know what working could be like in the future. she was right in a way. i liked it atr first, but we also did the orders while i was in school, so most of the time i really didn't like leaving at 8 in the morning and coming home at 6:00 or later, possibly not eating all day. mom got yelled at sometimes because she often forgot to eat all day, and when i would try to say i was hungry and needed to eat, she dismissed me, saying i'd be fine and that i'd get used to not eating all day when working. i think she forgets that just because i'm her kid, it doesn't mean i'm an exact carbon copy of her and that i'd willingly follow her bad habits thinking they're okay. oddly enough, she's worked from home since lockdown in 2020, so you think she'd eat during the day, but she willingly overworks herself all the time. anyway, whenever we went out, we were always in the same area, same stores, similar routes, and we always came home on the same road. for some reason, ever saturday and sunday when we would go home, we'd always be on or around this same spot on the road and YKWIM? comes on.

#YKWIM? #YKWIM song #memories #specific memory #no rhyme or reason as to why #i remember this #i just kind of do #the only reason i thought about this again is because YKWIM? came on on spotify #and i IMMEDIATELY had those memories replay in my mind #this has happened EVERY time since

[astramthetaprime]

Plans and Progress

Okay, so I quit my job Friday at the end of my shift.  Without another job to go to.  Because it apparently gets easier to do once you’ve done it before.  /shrug

However!  I am not without plans, and progress is being made in other areas of life.  First, the plans.

I am taking this weekend to be a weekend.  Because weekend.  And I just quit my job.  So weekend.  

Starting Tomorrow, 1/23/2023 

I will sign up to be an Instacart in-store shopper. Grocery stores sometimes do hit one of my few sensory problems, but it’s nothing I can’t handle.  It’s like my targetting system goes crazy, I try to focus on everything at once.  Annoying, but not a desperate issue unless I’m very tired. 

I will also sign up to Rover to do dogwalking and petsitting.  Because I’m actually good with animals.  Animals are usually much more sensible and far less annoying than people.  

I am also considering signing up on Fiverr as I had an idea a while back to do small mailings.  If there’s one thing I still know it’s the postal service.  I actually came up with a pricing scheme for doing small-run (200 or less) mailings of 4 pages or less.  That’s generally how many pages you can stuff in a standard business envelope and send with a 1st Class stamp without going over the 1 ounce limit.  I can think of all kinds of uses for this, I could print, address, return address, stamp and send mailings easily.  It’s a skill I know.  Play to your strengths, work on your weaknesses, right?  

I will also re-do my resume as it’s a mess.  I’ll be putting in more applications to actual jobs but honestly if I can make enough in the gig economy it will lose importance.  I’d far rather work on my own at stuff I know and am good at than try to learn a new job at this point.  But I will re-do the resume.  

Outside of work-related, I continue to work on Pathfinder . 

Also there’s that bit of fanfic from the last post.  Because I got caught up over a good looking older guy with black hair.  Because I’m stupid for black hair.  

Good lord why did it have to be Tom Cruise?  The poster boy for L. Ron Hubbard’s ego trip?

My Buddhist intellectual heart just cracked a little.  Somewhere in my brain, a brain cell just sacrificed itself for the greater good of humanity.  I believe in data and robot spacecraft and verifiable, reproducible science as the basis for science-fiction.  As Asimov and Clarke intended!  

Okay, enough of the caterwauling, back to the post.  

Progress!  Has been Made!

This past week I was checking some prices of things on Amazon, y’know, as you do.  And I found a queen-size weighted blanket at half-price. Like, an insane price.  $23.  Not joking, it was $23 dollars.  So as it was a reasonable price and I’ve been curious I said what the heck and ordered one.�� It came in this past Friday and for the past 2 nights I’ve been sleeping with it.  I’ll admit I was skeptical since I largely don’t have sensory issues except the aforementioned problems at grocery stores.  But I’m here to tell you, that thing works.  It’s like sleeping wrapped up in an octopus filled with lead shot, but I wake up in the morning and my back is not hurting, there are no hot flashes or nausea, and damn if I don’t sleep through the entire night!  I’ve had 8+ hours of solid sleep for the last 2 nights and I’m not being forced awake by my back hurting.  It’s freaking amazing.  So yeah, you guys weren’t kidding, I’d never have believed it if I wasn’t sleeping in it.  Yay Skillful Means!

I have been thinking on ways to get my original fiction out there in the world.  I am aware that part of the problem is exposure.  My first thought is audiobook versions.  I used to do a podcast many moons ago, it’s no longer online so please don’t look for it, but I narrated all my original fiction extant at that time.  And while of course I know my own work better than anybody, I am not a voice actor.  I have a thick Southern accent, an inescapable Tennessee Hillbilly accent, that simply does not lend itself to quality narration.  Also, possibly due to my autism I stutter and even to myself my speaking voice is just wrong.  I think it’s called “prosody”?  My voice is often monotone, the rhythm is often off, and thanks to the ravages of early menopause my voice dropped about 3/4ths of an octave several years ago.  So yeah, doing my own stories just would not be a sound business decision at this point.  But Audible does have this thing called ACX where authors can connect with voice actors to produce audiobooks of their work.  It’s something to think about, and certainly I’m well aware of the popularity of audiobooks.  I’ve listened to enough of them myself, that’s for sure.

The key point in all this -- I’m coming up with options rather than sinking into the abyss.  I am betting on myself, on my skills and abilities, rather than trying to shoehorn myself into the standard model of societal physics.  There are other ways to make a living where I can run my own life and not be forced into the boxes of what’s always been done.  I can make my own hours, find my own work that fits my abilities and limitations, and freaking be myself.  

Right, so.  I’m going to go watch my view count on AO3.  And try not to think about the Stupid Black Hair thing.  

#Progress Is Being Made #Day Jobs #actuallyautistic #weighted blanket #holycrapitactuallyworks #writing #gig economy

[hannah-bannana444]

let me let everything out into the open, I never cheated on you. I promise you that, I promise the world that. I know how it appears, you break up with me and then all a sudden you see pictures of someone else, yeah I get how it looks. I wish I had to chance to explain it in person to you, it was a rouse to make you jealous to make you feel like shit about hurting me. I had known you were planning on breaking up with me for awhile maybe i was overthinking for weeks and it was wrong but I have the screenshots I sent to my mom and Erin about it, and no I didn’t cheat on you and use the excuse that you were going to break up with me. That’s nothing I ever did, at this point I would admit if I cheated on you, I know there’s never ever going to be a time we are back together and I know I’ll never see or speak to you again and I truly don’t care how I look to the public so I would admit if I cheated on you. I didn’t. I was more in love with you, Sean then I have been in my entire life and I know I’ll never feel that way again. When you broke up with me I lost something in me that day, I don’t know how to explain it but I wanted to mask my pain and die. I was afraid of loving you again. There’s some previous things that hurt me beyond words and I froze and wanted to ice you out of my mind so I did everything I could to protect my heart, by hurting yours. I regret it all, I can’t even imagine what you are thinking by now. Probably not much of me, I remember how there was a nice in the car we were going left onto 19 from gulf to bay and I was complaining of back pain and my boobs hurting and I knew it was my period coming but you said jokingly “maybe you’re pregnant.” Then you proceeded to say “it would be a fall down the stairs if you were.” I obviously knew that was a joke, I didn’t once take it as a threat but it hurt me bad because in the beginning of the relationship you said if an accident happened we’d keep it, and having a child is something I want eventually. It’s something I wanted with you. Not because I have the feminine urge to become pregnant but because I think we would’ve made amazing parents together, I wanted a family with you. We looked for apartments once and never did it again, no matter how desperately I needed to move out. I offered to pay the initial down payment with the accident payout but I don’t think moving in with me is something you wanted. I’m crying while writing this, I remember the week before the breakup I was so excited to see you and we had to go check on your sister because she had your moms car and I saw gabby on your recent’s for 2 days in a row, it hurt so bad because you promised you’d let me know if she contacted you. I remember the massage said “That’s so cool!” But I don’t know who sent it, but it fucking hurt. There was a time you were meeting up with Ryan and you guys went to pks, I live 5 minutes from there and going to arcades was our thing and you didn’t invite me, I sat in my room that night on FaceTime with Erin waiting for you to get home and call me, that was one of the last times you fell asleep on the phone with me. You’d always hangup the phone when you fall asleep talking to me. I’d wake up and I’d usually text you good morning first even though I knew you were already awake, you were the only person I loved after my abusive relationship so it was hard detecting what was normal and what seemed out of place. One of the most hard times on me was when you were at Shaka and quit outback, the night in the car when you asked if it was okay you calling Sean and you said you’d try and do anything to make me happy and you’d only work some days and not headwait and work something out where you have a set day off every week to spend with me, we were dropping off an instacart order when this conversation was taking place, we got to the Publix parking lot and that’s when I asked you if having a relationship was too much for you to handle right now and you shook your head yes, that’s when I uncontrollably started shaking and crying. I felt since that moment that you didn’t want to be

[dzpenumbra]

1/13/23

Today, I had momentum. In a manner of speaking. I really should've used the momentum to go out to an actual store myself, but... I've just been freaked out lately. I don't know. An aversion to the public again. It's like... reflexive.

Instead of fighting it, I did Instacart again. I got these Command strips that are like... adhesives strips for hanging shit in your house. I really need to get my whiteboard back in commission. My therapist and I talked about that yesterday. The most structured and consistent I've been is when I had a reliable whiteboard system, a check-in system when the whiteboard is located in a very visible, highly trafficked area in my house. And I have the perfect spot. So I got these strips, some stuff for the bathroom, a birdfeeder and a succulent plant. Yep, I got my first plant for the apartment. And it only took me a month and a half. But hey, it's done!

So, I get the stuff delivered and I pick it all up. I feel like doing this Instacart stuff is like... practicing for not having a car. Because... I have a feeling that's the way this car repair situation is going. So... I'm kinda just preemptively adapting, I guess. I'm sure there are other reasons but... I'm not getting into that right now. I wanna recap this clusterfuck.

So I get the strips out, I got a TON of them just... in case. I figured I'll use them for hanging all kinds of shit. The first thing I see on the package is "do not apply to paper or fabric", and... like... ALL of my art is paper or fabric. I really should've seen that coming, and beat myself up plenty for it, but like... ugh. Really felt like I pissed a bunch of cash away on that. AND that ruled out my small whiteboard, which has a cardboard back on it. -_- So I went "okay, at least I can still do the big whiteboard", but it has a metal frame around the whole thing... and that frame is big enough that the strips won't work. At this point I'm getting frustrated, that was the point of the entire order... So I look over and see my wood coat hook thing, it's like a big piece of finished wood with a bunch of coat hooks on it. I go "at least I can do that, that's something. I slap the strips on it and go to line it up on the wall... and the thing is warped to hell. Like twisted warped. So the strips won't lie flat on the wall. That one upset me a bit. So... I unscrewed the hooks, got some wet hand towels, an extra piece of wood and some clamps and that fucker is gonna be sitting in the windowsill for the next few days. Hopefully that straightens it out, if not, I'll just make a nice carving out of it. Someday...

So that really got under my skin. Like... the bulk of the shit I was going to do today was just... problem after problem. My mom called. We were on the same page for a bit. Then I just went "I swear, if I just had thumbtacks this wouldn't be a damn problem, I've been using exclusively them to hang stuff since college." And... she corrected me that I meant "push pins". And I felt real goddamn dumb... because this whole time I thought they were called thumbtacks, and I've been searching for thumbtacks and not finding them anywhere. Welp, turns out people do have pushpins... But... I was trying to just roll with it and went with these strips, I was like... if no one has these pins, and that means I won't be putting holes in the wall... then fuck it, right? And I just felt really dumb. And then I started kicking myself that I didn't add them to the order this morning. And she suggested I order some. And I started getting really upset that I would have to place a delivery order for a $2.50 pack of pushpins. Like, the delivery cost would be higher than the cost of the item. And then I went to "wow, I can't just like drive 5 blocks up the street for this?" And my brain went "wow, you're really gonna risk getting sick for a pack of pushpins". And this happened like... lightning speed. Like within probably... 2 seconds tops? I went from being frustrated that I didn't add these to my order earlier in the day to being afraid I was going to asphyxiate alone in my apartment.

I was mid-conversation when this happened. It must've been disorienting to my mom, I just got really distant and frustrated and shit. I just started shutting down. And she went the wrong route, she started trying to reassure me that the problems that I was seeing weren't as big as I thought. She went the "Covid isn't really a thing anymore" route. And I, with surprising grace considering the circumstances, let her know very clearly - 1) I'm experiencing very strong emotions right now, don't listen to the tone of my voice, please listen to the words that I'm saying, 2) Please don't make this political. 3) The problem I'm working through is emotional, not practical. Don't try to make this go away, or make my feelings go away, help me find a way around or through it. If there isn't a way around it, we can come back to that.

It was surprisingly successful. We didn't fight. That happens every damn time. Every time I get stressed, I wear it on my sleeve. And the person on the other side starts floundering, or takes personal offense to it, sees me as aggressive or combative or something. It happened with my last ex constantly. It happened in the retreat I went to too, some other resident thought I was pissed off at them personally because I was detoxing off of meds and dealing with my family shit. I just... didn't hide my stress, I wore it on my sleeve. Because my feelings are big and if I stuff them inside, I end up with chronic health problems. I mean that literally. I did irreparable damage to my body because of repressing stress, I was constantly sick to the point of being nearly couch-bound for stretches of time because of it. It took me a lot of experience and therapy to accept that I just... have way more emotions than a lot of people that I know, that I'm sensitive. And that that is okay, it's good. It's just part of who I am. It makes me equally as weak as it makes me strong. It just really fucking sucks that I have to like... explain myself all the time.

In hindsight, my dog was the perfect companion for me in that... she was basically a mirror of me. In a lot of ways. Highly emotional, and feared. And I defended the fuck out of her for it, never as much as I wanted to or felt I should, but much more than I defend myself for the same exact shit. See, she was incredibly social, super friendly all the fucking time, but she... was a sable German Shepherd. And... people... make assumptions. They jump to conclusions. I say this because I can't count the number of times I had to say "don't worry, she's friendly" or "is it okay if she says hi?" or "don't worry, she doesn't bite". Shit like that. Like I'm walking around with a goddamn crocodile on a leash, come on people. Like, instead of people expressing their own fears and prejudices and communicating them clearly and honestly, it gets to the point where the accommodating people who are constantly being persecuted... just walk around introducing themselves already explaining shit preemptively. "Hi, my name is ____, I'm a sensitive person. You might see my mood change rapidly, this might be reflected in my posture, tone of voice, facial expression, etc. You know, like a fuckin dog or a cat. But guess what? Unlike a dog or a cat, you can just be a civil fucking person and go 'hey, you look upset, you wanna talk about it?' or, you know, excuse yourself out and fuck off or whatever." I don't know man, people are fucking weird, and it's just so fucking tiring and demoralizing to have to go around constantly apologizing for other peoples' fears. It really does a number on your self-esteem.

Anywho, that drama was averted. We had a great conversation and covered a lot of stuff. I made dinner - potato skins, chicken and rice. I got the xbox hooked up, which is nice. I started recording a new Rimworld playthrough, no clue if it's gonna fit the bill. I feel like I've been getting really picky lately. We'll see what happens. I was planning on doing my master list of things I need done, and my whiteboard, but I got so sidetracked by the strips and tacks that I just... didn't get those done. But I got a lot of planning done, I got my first plant and I got a birdfeeder. So I'd call that a good day. Oh, and I saw a Pileated Woodpecker out the window. I used to see them in the woods all the time, and I heard it calling outside and immediately recognized the sound. So I got a birdfeeder, cuz fuck it. And I'll try to get it set up tomorrow.

The only other shit I have to talk about was like... Twitch drama... which is like... duh? I guess? Like... one streamer saying "my kid is getting screened for autism next week" and "wouldn't that be my punishment for calling my audience the 'r-word'". And I get it, it's blunt around the edges and poking fun at something that's clearly making him uncomfortable and scaring him. I guess it's just how we process fear sometimes? I think that's a huge component to humor, especially dark humor, they're just ways of having conversations about difficult topics that otherwise we wouldn't be able to really comfortably address. Humor lets us speak more openly about it. But it really does matter what your intentions are. And I'm not sure if his intention is to... learn how to be okay, to accept potentially being the parent of a neurodivergent child. He doesn't seem to really see any good in it, he seems only fixated on how difficult it would be, how parenting a neurodivergent child is harder. And that rubbed me the wrong way, to the point where I just left. I was kinda just... discouraged. Like... that's your kid, dude. Getting a diagnosis doesn't make your kid a different kid, it just gives you a language to understand your kid better. Which should really be every parent's goal, I would think. Right? Just sayin. A positive diagnosis just opens the door to a bunch of researched techniques to make your life easier, nothing else changes (other than the stigma of others). A negative diagnosis means nothing changes. So yeah. I dunno, really bummed me out and left a bad taste in my mouth.

The other one was going over to another streamer and seeing him, once again, just blatantly being a schoolyard bully. But in roleplay, in character, so it's not him bullying, it's his character bullying another character. And it was just like... man. It was hard to watch. Like I've watched a lot of this streamer in the past, and it never really felt this blatant and unfiltered. Like, I know he likes to antagonize and poke and get reactions and shit... but like... this was just like cartoonish. It's a damn shame, he is a pretty funny guy. But I've been noticing nearly all of his humor is at the expense of others, in very personal ways. Like a comedian that only does crowdwork. And the crowdwork is like "hey look at this fat fucking guy in the front row, hey fatty, how many pizzas have you eaten today? Am I right?! Haha what a fat fuck." Like... okay. I mean if your target audience is 14 year old football players, I guess that's funny? So yeah, it was a lot more creative before... I thought. He did this big arc where he had a cop that was very feared and very aggressive (obviously, barely even have to act for that one) but was a closeted gay man and crossdressed and all that. And I liked the way that angle was played in the past, it made some really funny moments and even emotional moments too. But that era passed at least a year ago, longer now. And now... it's just... really bad freestyle rap. And having an out-of-character temper tantrum for actually doing jailtime for multiple crimes he admitted to on the ride to the station, because "admitting to crimes is his character's thing." Like... okay. It feels like a lot of it is just letting the most valuable part of all of it - the creativity - take a backseat while viewership, sponsorships and "winning the interaction" take the front seat. Like the most creative thing I saw him do in one hour of watching this stream was punch a cop through the prison bars 7 times, and say "I'm not so much of a Hootie fan, I'm more of a Darius Rucker fan". Which is either a joke that went way over my head, or a complete swing and a miss at trying to get 90's pop music hipster cred or something. I feel like I'm losing braincells just talking about this. I've been raising my standards for entertainment lately, and I think I should continue that trend. I don't really need to waste my time or energy getting stressed out about people I would never give the time to in person. And I sure as fuck am not watching their ads.

Okay... gotta reset the vibes before bed. Oh shit, it got late again, 3:45. Crap. Um... I don't know, I got really excited about plants today, and I had this idea. Apparently it's pretty easy to propagate succulent plants, you can just grow new ones from their leaves apparently? Like clone them. And I had this crazy vision of like... experimenting with that and getting good at it and then just like... leaving some outside my door in case people wanted them? Maybe encourage people to slide donations under the door if they want? Or just straight up sell them. Because apparently they're easy as fuck to take care of, and hell, maybe other people would want one? And I'd love the project, I think it would be really fun. And I could design my own containers and stuff! That would be cool. Idk, it was a thought. There was a place that would mail you like 50 cuttings for like $8. If I got half of those to grow and sold them for like... $3 each? That's not bad. Just sayin.

I'll keep it in mind. But for now, I'm heading to sleep. Bye.

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of consciousness #stream of thoughts

[solomons-cooking]

How the Brothers react when GN!MC has their period.

TW: blood, period talk

I’m on mine rn, thats it. I also have a strange craving for Belphie cuddles

Lucifer:

When you tell him “Eh?”

Has no idea what to do.

Lets you skip school for one day when the pain gets too much

Used to Mammon faking being sick, so is skeptical of how much it really hurts

Doesn’t really know how to approach you

Will buy you whatever you need from the store, no questions asked

Expect a text like “Left or Right”? Idk hes kinda dumb sometimes

Kinda relies on his brothers to take care of the situation

Will aid in cooking for you, but only breakfast idk

Mammon:

When you tell him “HUH?”

Literally looks you up and down in horror

Doesn’t believe you bc he can’t see your “wound”

You explain to him WHY it happens

He gets all flustered and just looks away from you

*nervous sweats*

“Well uh, if ya need anything MC, just lemme know!”

Very sweet

Checks up on you, but only when it's convenient for him

If youre with Asmo, Mammon tags along. he also wants to be pampered

Leviathan:

Literally says “ew”

Already knows about the process, idk don't ask me why

Maybe he knows from hentai? idk guy is a google freak

Offers for you to play video games with him

Makes sure you're comfy

Will literally pause his videogame/get to a safe spot to get you anything

Feels really bad for you tbh

Orders food from Hell's Kitchen, whatever you want!

Satan:

Has no idea what a period is

Listens to your explanation and continues to do research.

Reads a little too into it

“I’m sorry your uterus is trying to kill your womb”

^ He also announces stuff like that in front of people, kinda cringe

Buys/tries everything he reads to make sure your time is as painless as possible

This includes potions and spells that he hasn’t tried before, but is confident they’ll work

Insists you stay in his bed, so he can keep an eye on you

Basically wants to play nurse, but kinda sucks

Cooks for you

Asmo:

As soon as he hears this, he starts preparing

Already has tampons/pads for you, no need to ask

He knows you want a bath, no need to ask it's already drawn up

He sees your skin start to break out, doesn't say anything but offers to do face masks

Massages? Whenever you ask! He again, will still offer

Imported chocolates, the finest wine, expensive facials (if you like those things)

Avoids going out, would rather stay in with you

He really likes to take care of you, he secretly likes that you're on your period

Plays with your hair and does hair styles for you

Ugshsdashd he’s just too cute okay

I wish I had Asmo in my life

Beel:

When you explain it, his face omg gets so red

“Uh… so.. Youre okay though right? Like...this is normal?”

Beel you sweet boy

He sees you have trouble walking sometimes (youre hurled over in pain against a wall), he just picks you up so you dont have to walk

He carries you EVERYWHERE. He loves it too.

Cravings? Beel has them too. Probably the same ones.

Literally is your Barbatoes for the time being. Will do ANYTHING so his human isnt in pain

Too nervous to buy you sanitary supplies (tamps, pads..)

Belphie:

He’s smart when it comes to humans, he knows what you're talking about

Asks if you have everything you need, will order from Akuzon if you dont (or will get Doordash/instacart )

Cuddles when you want to be touched

Naps literally all the time, youre tired and you just wanna nap at 7pm

Can tell when youre in pain. When you guys cuddle, he makes his hands warm with magic and puts them over where the pain is, so it lessens it

Did you read that? SPOONING BUT WITH HOT HANDS WEWFIOJGW

I want that

Man also has the best medicine cabinet in the Devildom, so you are set for medical supplies

Dope music playlist

You also get Beel

#obey me #obey me lucifer x mc #obey me mammon x mc #obey me levi x reader #obey me satan x reader #obey me headcanons #obey me x reader #obey me beel x reader #obey me belphie #obey me asmo x mc #obey me gn!mc #obey me reactions

[justlightlysedated]

you’ve used up all your coupons and all you’ve got left is me (a 3x08 coda)

dedicated especially to @bestillmyslashyheart @michaels-blackhat and @bisexualalienblast 🖤🖤🖤❤️❤️❤️💖💖💖

Alex wakes up suddenly, breathing in sharply, eyes opening wide, heart struggling to leap out of his chest. He breathes in deeply and holds it for a few seconds before exhaling slowly and doing it all over again. 

He barely remembers the dream he'd just been having, the images foggy and fading, leaving behind a sense of urgency, but after being more open with Michael than he's ever been since they were teenagers, he knew that he'd be having nightmares.

Once he feels like he’s not about to hyperventilate, he turns towards the left side of the bed, and finds a smile spreading across his face.

Michael is lying down on his back, one arm flung above his head, the other on his side, pinning the sheet down across his chest. His hair is a frizzy, curly mess, and his mouth is slightly open as he breathes, snoring slightly, still deeply asleep.

Alex turns completely to face him, leaning his head on his arm instead of the pillow, and just stares as the sun starts to rise, spilling gently through the slit of the closed curtains hanging in front of his windows.

Alex hadn’t been expecting it when Michael had kissed him, but that didn’t mean that he hadn’t wanted it with all of his heart. He had just thought that it was something that he would never get to have again, but from the moment Michael stood up and took his hat off his head and moved in close, fingers settling across the back of his neck, Alex had felt something break apart in his chest, like the walls that he'd been trying to build around his heart to stop this from happening again, just fell down at the touch of Michael's lips.

The kiss in itself wasn't what Alex had been expecting either. He'd pushed against Michael, wanting to deepen the kiss, to let the heat that had burst into existence in the pit of his stomach, explode into flames that would drown them both in desire, but Michael had kept it soft and sweet and almost chaste. Kissing him like Alex was something precious and fragile that he'd needed to be careful with, and it was that more than anything that had sent Alex's heart racing, his blood pumping sluggishly through his veins, as though all of it had been replaced with syrup.

When he'd separated their mouths, it was all Alex could do not to push in close and kiss him once again.

After, Michael had taken Alex home, and Alex had spent the entire time letting the anticipation and anxiety of what could happen twist him up into knots so tightly that when Michael had put his hand on Alex's arm he'd jumped.

Michael had been worried, and Alex had thought about just brushing it off, and kissing him to get them back to their usual track, but he'd looked at Michael's face, and Michael’s eyes were large and concerned, and he knew that this was different, could feel it deep down, so he’d taken a deep breath and just let it go.

He’d asked Michael if he wanted to stay, just to sleep, and Michael had looked at him for a long moment, eyes dark and serious, before he nodded his head and had gotten out of the car.

After that everything had been easy, almost too easy if Alex was being honest, the only time he tripped over something was when Michael had stripped down to his underwear, unselfconscious and unaware.

He’d looked at Alex who had been sitting on the edge of his bed, and snorted at the look on Alex’s face, stating that he couldn’t sleep with clothes on, it was always too hot.

Alex had compensated by putting the AC lower and leaving the ceiling fan on, even if that meant that he had to wrap himself up in all of the sheets that he had inside of his closet.

Sometime during the night he’d kicked most of them off, probably because of the furnace that was still sleeping next to him.

Alex stares at Michael, unable to look away, and watching the rise and fall of his chest, itching with the urge to inch closer and put his mouth on Michael’s collarbone, but he contains himself, curling his fingers into the sheet, to stop himself from reaching out.

A shaft of sunlight hits Michael’s face, and he wrinkles his nose, closing his mouth, and turning his face away from the light, moving so that he’s on his side, pulling the sheet tighter and tugging it away from Alex.

Alex grins at the way Michael's face is still scrunched up, and how his curls tumble across his forehead and to his nose.

His smile goes soft and sappy and utterly embarrassing if someone was around to see it, but there is no one to witness it in the dim light, in his bedroom.

He reaches out with one hand, and pushes Michael's hair away from his face, tucking it behind his ear, only for it to fall back across his forehead, making Alex snicker.

The sound wakes Michael up. His eyes blink open, lashes fanning his cheeks, and he takes a moment to realize where he is and who he's with.

A smile, sweet and so loving, tugs the corners of Michael's mouth, something small, but so happy that it makes something in Alex's stomach flutter.

"You stayed," Alex says, eyes on Michael's mouth like they're magnetized, but he can still see the amusement that crosses his face.

"I was tired and it was late," Michael responds, trying for seriousness, but his grin goes even wider.

"Sure," Alex drawls, mocking the way that Michael had said the words, inching a little closer. "That's why you stayed."

Michael just laughs, and it sounds so delighted and free, that Alex can't help but lean even closer.

Michael slides closer too, meeting him halfway, and settling his hand on the side of Alex's face, thumb rubbing gently against his skin, as he presses a soft kiss to Alex's mouth, close lipped and chaste.

Alex's eyes fall shut, as the kiss punches him in the stomach and knocks the air out of his lungs, making him inhale sharply.

Michael pulls away after a second, and Alex tries not to whine, but the sound still crawls up his throat, whiny and embarrassing.

Michael's smile is wide and too bright, almost rivaling the sun, and he keeps his hand on Alex's face as he leans in again, brushing their noses together.

"Morning," Alex says, when it becomes apparent that Michael isn't going to kiss him again right this second.

"A very good morning," Michael responds, sliding his hand down Alex's face and to his neck, making him feel warm and tingly all over.

Alex just closes his eyes, and relaxes into the touch, smiling, pleased and happy, when Michael rubs his thumb across Alex's collarbone.

"You hungry?" Michael asks, voice a low rumble, breath warm and humid across Alex's mouth. "I make a mean veggie omelette."

Alex hums thoughtfully, pretending that he's not completely into the idea of watching Michael putter around in his kitchen making him breakfast while he sits on one of the stools that surround the island counter drinking his coffee, but there is one problem with that.

"I haven't been home for an extended period of time, so I'm pretty sure that there is nothing in my fridge but beer and leftover take out boxes."

Michael gives him a highly judgemental look, like he's wondering how Alex even survived to make it to thirty.

"Okay, fine," Michael responds. "I can make a quick trip to the store, buy some stuff."

He moves, like he's going to roll out of the bed, moving his hand away from Alex.

Alex grabs on to him immediately, wrapping one hand around his wrist and tugging Michael's hand back to his face.

Michael turns back to face him, still leaning up halfway, raising one eyebrow.

"How about instead, we put in an order on instacart and have the groceries delivered?"

Michael lifts both eyebrows, looking surprised, "You can do that?"

Alex rolls his eyes, "Yes, with the power of technology."

Michael scoffs and pulls his hand out of Alex's hold only to grab the pillow he'd been lying on and uses it to hit Alex right in the face.

Alex sits up trying to defend himself but Michael tugs his pillow towards himself before Alex can get his hands on it, using telekinesis while still attacking Alex.

"You're not fighting fair!" Alex says, laughter coloring his tone.

Michael manages to push him down on his back and moves, knees sinking down into the bed on either side of Alex's waist as he leans over him with a wicked smile, hair messy and perfect.

"All's fair in love and war," he says, and moves to hit Alex again.

Alex grabs the pillow before it hits him again, and uses the hold to tug Michael so that he's closer, the pillow crushed between their chests.

Michael is smiling, a dopey, silly, happy, grin, and Alex feels his heart bursting inside of his chest with so much love that he can barely contain it.

"I do, you know," he says, eyes darting all over Michael's face.

"Do what?" Michael asks, voice soft.

"Love you," Alex says, barely hesitating, the words just as soft as Michael's.

Michael inhales sharply, like he hadn't been expecting that, and a look of wonderment crosses his face, making his eyes look sweet and soft.

He leans down, crushing their noses together and stays close, lips just barely brushing Alex's.

"I love you too," he says, and it sounds like a revelation.

Alex closes his eyes and Michael kisses him again.

And later they'll order some groceries and Michael will make him breakfast and Alex will sit and watch him and feel happy and warm at how easily Michael moves around his kitchen. And even more later, they'll check up on everyone and worry about Kyle and Max.

But right now, Alex tugs the pillow out from between their bodies, and settles his hand to the side of Michael's neck, fingers brushing against the back of his ears, and he'll kiss him and kiss him and kiss him until their mouths are red and wet and swollen, and he's aching with it.

There is no other place, he'd rather be.

#malex fic #look i don't remember exactly how the scene in 1x03 went so if i misquoted it pls forgive me #i orignally planned for them to actually get out the bed and into the kitchen but it didn't end up working like that lol #rnm spoilers #just to be safe

[g1rlcore]

PLEASE SHARE! I am collecting donations to assemble protest packages for those who need it!

Transcription:

WE ARE MAKING CARE PACKAGES AND WE NEED YOUR HELP

HOW YOU CAN HELP:

you do NOT need to live in the LA area/America to help, sharing and donating is incredibly important right now

1. SHARE THIS POST. post this on your story, retweet on twitter (LINKS TO TWITTER POST WILL BE IN MY BIO) screenshotting and reposting onto other social media accounts is 100% okay and encouraged, THE MORE YOU SHARE, THE MORE PEOPLE WILL SEE AND THE MORE SUPPLIES WE CAN GATHER

2. DONATE. EVERY DOLLAR WILL BE HELPFUL IN ACQUIRING NECESSARY GEAR/SUPPLIES that will be given to protestors in LA.

WHERE TO DONATE:

venmo: @girlcore

paypal: paypal.me/sadturret

DISCLAIMER

among all the help and mutual aid being spread around, many people are making fake gofundme's to manipulate the kindness and generosity of others to scam people, and because of that, I want to be as transparent as possible

receipts for items (instacart screenshots, grocery receipts etc.) will be posted onto my story on Thursday, June 4, 2020. DM me if you would like copies of receipts sent to you directly

all donations will be paying for supplies going into the protester packs ONLY, other fees like transport/packaging are covered by us

Donations will stop being accepted at 3pm PST on Wednesday, June 3, 2020, to allow us to order the items

PLEASE SHARE!

Sharing helps so much! The more eyes that see this, the more resources we will be able to pool together! ANYONE CAN DONATE AND SHARE, not just those in LA

#BLACKLIVESMATTER

#blm #black lives fucking matter #black lives matter #donations #mutual aid #police brutality #la #los angeles #signal boost #my stuff

[onesmallspark]

Quarantine Dream

Wrote this out of pure boredom and my own quarantine horniness.

2.6k words of fluff and porn. That’s all it is.

Apologies for any typos. LMK if you want to see more interludes from Leah & Steve’s quarantine.

A pandemic-level virus was not something Steve Rogers needed to worry about. The serum removed that threat years ago. However, for Leah, things were not quite the same.

She loved her little D.C. walkup and though she and Steve had only been dating for a little over nine months, they decided to take the plunge and quarantine together. Steve vowed to refrain from work he couldn’t do from her brownstone to cut down on the likelihood of bringing anything home.

Steve was old-fashioned, obviously. But he helped with cooking, cleaning, and maintained some of the things around her home that needed help like a kitchen cabinet not sitting quite right in its hinge.

However, he still turned a little pink when he’d help fold laundry and pull out an especially risqué pair of panties from the hamper. Leah loved it. She, on the other hand, took great pleasure in folding Steve’s underwear, no matter how flustered he’d get seeing the hold a pair of his boxer briefs.

They both spent most of their weekdays working in separate rooms of the house. They outfitted an alcove of Leah’s bedroom to fit Steve’s desk and computers, while she took over the spare bedroom to continue teaching her second-grade class.

Steve relished in the act of bringing up a sandwich to her office for lunch only to hear the group of 18 seven-year-olds dissolve into chatter and giggles.

“Hi, Mr. Steve!” They’d chorus, sometimes tipping off Leah to his location before she noticed him.

“Hi kids!” He’d smile back, showing off those perfectly aligned and whitened teeth. He’d set down the little plate with a turkey and ham sandwich and just the right amount of Doritos chips before announcing - “I think it’s close to lunch time!”

Leah humored him because the kids loved it and she often times needed the reminder.

“Okay everyone, after lunch, we’ll get back together and go over our multiplication tables.” She said sweetly before signing off.

The days went by quickly, and though Leah loved the extra time with her beau, she started noticing the real differences between them and their preferences. Steve could really do with some time to let his hair down.

“Baby?” Leah called from the kitchen one Sunday morning, digging through the fridge.

“Yes, my love?” He asked, walking in to join her. Always so formal. His eyes raked up and down her form - donning a lacy pair of pink panties that were somewhere between a thong and shorts, one of his workout shirts and nothing else but the white nail polish on her toes.

“I can’t find the orange juice - did we get some on our last Instacart order?” She frowned, closing the door.

“Uh,” Steve replied plainly. His brain shorting for two reasons - the swell of her ass from beneath the pink lace to the idea of working the Instacart app. He still wasn’t very mobile-friendly.

“Baby,” she laughed, turning and sliding her hands around his sides to press her face into his chest. “I told you I could do it.” She murmured, hands resting at the top of his jeans.

As previously stated, Steve was old fashioned. He didn’t hang around in comfy clothes. He got up, showered, put on his clothes for the day, changed once a day to go to the gym, showered again, then put street clothes back on. He ate meals at the dining table or breakfast bar, put out his pajamas on the dresser each morning and never skipped his deodorant.

Leah’s goal was to get him to lounge. Embrace athleisure. Maybe even go barefoot.

“I’ll get it this time, I swear,” he blushed as she slid her hands up his back from beneath his navy T-shirt.

“Baby, it’s 10 a.m. on a Sunday,” she pointed out, hands running over the brown leather belt. “Don’t you ever want to just hang out in your jammies?” She asked, looking up at him with her chin balanced right below the line of his pecs.

“I’ll get nothing done if I just hang around in my comfy clothes,” he pointed out, gulping softly as she slid her hands down into the back of his denim pockets.

“Doesn’t that sound nice?” She purred, burying her face in this chest yet again. “Why don’t you go sit on the couch and I’ll make us breakfast, okay?”

“Do you want me to set the table?” He offered, kissing her forehead.

“We’re not eating at the table,” she winked.

Half an hour later, with a glass of milk tucked under her arm for the soldier and two plates of breakfast sausage and french toast, she wandered her way into the family room and set everything down on the coffee table. Steve was perched on the couch reading a book.

“It looks great, Lee,” he complimented, giving her a smile that made heart flutter.

“Thanks baby,” she smiled, straightening up. “Now, stand up,” she insisted. He complied, sticking a crisp $5 bill in his book to keep his spot, setting it on the side table.

She took a long, good look at him before meeting his gaze.

“Now, pants off.” She instructed. He opened his mouth to protest. “I mean it, Rogers. This is a no-pants brunch.” He almost went to argue again, but in the spirit of solidarity, he unbuckled his jeans and stepped out of them before draping them over the back of the adjacent lazy chair. “Socks, too.” She added. Again, he complied, tucking them into one another and setting them on top of his jeans. “I want your butt right here, and legs going that way.” She pointed him to sit with his back agains the arm of the chair and legs stretched across the three couch cushions. 

Climbing onto the couch, she carefully wedged herself between his thighs, tucking her feet beneath the juncture of the couch cushion and the arm, practically in his lap.

Steve immediately flushed pink at how close her warm center was to his very interested cock, and with just the thin layers of cotton - well, in her case, lace - between them.

“Here baby,” she handed him his plate. They held their plates in their hands, chatting about a few things they wanted to get done around the house that week.

“I went to Bachman’s on Friday and reserved a couple of hanging baskets for the courtyard.” Steve said, “thought you’d like the purple ones.” He spoke of the small 14 x 14 outdoor space off the back of the living room - just enough to fit a few chairs and some string lights.

“Thanks, baby,” Leah smiled. The space was their sanctuary. Outdoor, private and kept them from going to stir crazy during the week.

“I can run and get them after brunch and hang them, then I’ve got some lumber coming to put together that planter box.” He continued, eating his french toast. “So I’ll start sanding them down, make sure they’re cut to size. Sometimes you get them and they’re a few inches or so off.” He explained.

“Today?” Leah pouted.

“Yeah, they close at 2, so I only have a small window to grab ‘em.” He explained.

“But they’ll be there tomorrow, right?” She asked with a tilt of her head.

Steve looked up from his plate of french toast to see Leah looking back at him, her big brown eyes as innocent as could be.

“Yeah, they’ll be there tomorrow,” he acquiesced. 

“You’ve got just a little,” she leaned forward, flattered by the small drop of maple syrup balancing just carefully on his lower lip. He barely let her close the space before leaning forward, pressing his lips to hers.

He twitched subtly, but felt the earth shift when her sex pressed against his with the forward rock of her hips.

“Lee,” he blushed.

As previously stated, Steve was old fashioned. She had wondered in the beginning stages of their dating life if he was going to tell her he was a virigin, or was saving himself for marriage, - thankfully that was not the case. But Steve was traditional, vanilla, romantic. Things that were just fine - she was always satisfied. Leah, however was a modern woman, and she was ready to teach her old dog some new tricks.

She easily slid her plate, then his, to the coffee table before wrapping her arms around his neck and nesting herself much more comfortably and directly in his lap.

Feeling his hard length was always a flattering feeling that sent a thrill up her spine. His hands traveled up the length of her back and down again, holding her tightly to him.

“I love how big your hands are,” she admitted, lips brushing his. “You’re so strong,” she purred, kissing him again, knowing he could feel her hard nipples against his chest. Steve was a boob guy. She knew he never minded when she’d wear his workout shirts - the thin, breathable fabric always displaying her breasts in a way that he really appreciated. 

“Should we take this to the bedroom?” He huffed, trailing kisses from her lips, down to her neck.

“Absolutely not,” She giggled, running a hand up the nape of his neck to the back of his head, sending another shudder throughout his body. She pressed her mouth to the shell of his ear, soft pants coming in waves against him. “I want you to fuck me on this couch, Steve.” She purred, sending every hair on his body to stand at attention.

“O-on the couch?” He asked, having a hard time thinking straight as all the blood in his body rushed toward his cock in a way that had him momentarily dizzy.

“On the couch,” she repeated. “Think you can do that?” She asked, feeling the dampness collecting in her sex.

“Anything you want,” he insisted. 

“I want you to rip these panties off of me,” she said, rocking her hips into him once more, this time, leaving the faintest trace of wetness against the heather grey of his boxer briefs.

He reached down and complied to her wishes as if her were flicking a light switch.

“I need you in me, baby, I need you bad,” she tossed her head back, grinding her sex against him in a way that had him second-guessing his heart health.

Steve reaches down into his briefs, pulling out his cock and surprising even himself at how hard he was, the angry-looking head staring right back at him. Leah planted her in the couch and gripped the arm behind Steve, lifting herself just enough for him to slide more beneath her. They both groaned out as she sandwiched his cock between his abs and her pussy, grinding up and down the length in a way that felt like pure greed. The crown of his mushroom head caught against her clit as she spread her arousal up and down the length of it.

“Lee,” Steve stuttered.

“It’s so big, Steve,” she whimpered. He was going to commit the image to his memory forever - the inviting pink of her sex spread out atop him, her hooded clit peeking out in a way that was taunting him. She leaned back, bracing her hands against his knees, taking everything from him as she rubbed herself with more vigor against him. Then, she lifted herself just enough to hover, allowing him to reach down and grasp his length. Now, she was the strong one, as she let herself slowly sink down on top of his cock, pausing as she took just the head inside of her vice grip.

It took everything in Steve to not thrust up into her.

“You’re so big,” she echoed, “God, I just want you in me all the time,” she damn near whimpered.

“Lee, please,” he begged with an exhale. She sucked the remaining breath out of him as she allowed her body weight to drop, taking his full length and girth at once. Steve shouted as he bottomed out. Leah swirled her hips, side to side and up and down, taking exactly what she wanted from him. Steve straightened his posture, reaching for the hem of his own shirt agains her skin before bringing it up and over her head.

Wetness pooled against the grey band of his briefs as she rode him, and the sounds she made as she bounced were borderline pathetic. Steve needed more control. 

Leah yelped when she found herself laid across the length of the couch, Steve’s cock buried inside her as he hovered over her body

“Give it to me,” she begged, pushing her hips up against him. Steve complied, setting a hard, relentless pace that caused her eyes to cross momentarily.

“Is this what you want?” He husked in her ear, two of his big, blocky fingers pressed against her clit.

“Yes,” she begged, nails dragging down the expanse of his marble back, causing goosebumps to erupt all over his body. Leah wrapped her legs around his lower body and he braced one hand above her head against the arm of the couch, the other holding one of her thighs - keeping her nice and tight to him.

“Steve, I need you to cum inside me,” she whimpered, causing him to stutter his movements. “Please, baby, I need it.” She begged.

“You need it?” He asked, gritting his teeth as she clamped down on his cock, dragging as much out of him as she could.

“Need you to fill me up,” she panted.

Steve watched as she reached down, circling her clit with her fingers as she thrust up to meet him with every movement. He could feel it coming in the soles of his feet - the backs of his thighs getting sweaty as he began to shudder.

“Come on, Lee,” he huffed.

“Want me to come on your cock?” She asked, watching as his eyes dilated.

“Yes,” he all but growled.

“Say it,” she demanded. “Tell me you want me to come on your cock,” she panted again.

“I want you to come on my cock,” he parroted. “Now.”

Leah squealed as her body thrummed, clamping down as every muscle below her heart spasmed, complimented by the feeling of Steve’s orgasm painting her insides. Steve jerked haphazardly, taken aback by the strength of his orgasm. 

She ran her hands up the solid ridges of his abs to her chest as they each caught their breath.

“No,” she pouted as he moved to pull out. “C’mere.” Steve obliged, mentally still floating above his body as she pulled him down to rest on her chest, his softening cock still tucked deep within her. He nuzzled into the swell of her breasts as she ran her nails gently up and down his back, hands resting on his ass. As soon as he felt like he could make words again, he pressed a kiss to her breast.

“How long have you been planning that?” He asked, preening as she ran her fingers through his hair.

“I think about it every time I see you,” she replied casually.

“Every time you see me?” He asked, a little bewildered, eyes looking up at her from her cleavage. 

“Every single time,” She replied, loving the way a pink blushed dusted his cheeks. She resumed his back rub, “I think about you taking me on this couch, bending me over the back of it, over there on the kitchen counter, in the shower, in the backyard, at your desk in your office…” she trailed off. Steve grinned a secret little smirk, pressing another kiss to her breast.

“Well, it’s a good thing we’ve got plenty of time left inside this house.”

#quarantine smut #steve rogers #steve rogers smut #captain america #captain america fic #captain america x ofc #captain america imagine #captain america smut #marvel #marvel smut #quarantine with Steve Rogers #quarantine with captain america #cabin fever #steve rogers is vanilla #sexy times with steve rogers #captain america fucks

[lady-divine-writes]

ACITW AU one-shot “Locked Down” (Rated M)

Summary: Kurt and Sebastian have been locked away in their penthouse for weeks. When it all started, Sebastian thought they'd be having the time of their lives, but with anxiety looming, it's been a little farther from that than he'd imagined. (3109 words)

Notes: A lovely Tumblr anon requested a quarantine fic set in the ACITW AU universe, something along the lines of the Bash fic I wrote a while back - with lots of caring, protective Sebastian.

Read on AO3.

“Hey, babe! You up yet?” Sebastian asks from underneath his towel as he scrubs his hair dry, a second towel tied tight around his hips. He usually doesn’t shower without Kurt if he can help it, but it’s been an off morning. But they’ve had a lot of off mornings, even before lockdown officially began.

Sebastian is ashamed to admit he didn’t take the whole lockdown thing as seriously in the beginning as he should have. Not with regard to his actions - he did everything they were advised to: arranging to work from home, washing his hands eighty times a day, wearing a mask religiously, even bleaching the soles of his shoes and leaving them to dry out in the hallway. It was in his mindset - the idea that being locked indoors with Kurt for weeks would turn out to be one endless, naked, drunken orgy, the best time of their lives, a time they’d look back on fondly.

It only took a week for Sebastian to realize it would be nothing like that at all.

Kurt is at his best when he sticks to a routine, and since everything is pretty much shut down and canceled for the indeterminate future, he’s become emotionally derailed, reverted back to old habits of counting and sorting Stevia packets when he makes his tea, wearing exclusively sky blue socks because they’re a happy and calming color, looking at his face in the mirror then away three times before he leaves the bathroom.

Sebastian does his best to help. He’s tried several times to wrangle together a schedule of some sort, get them back to a sense of normalcy even though things are far from normal and won’t be for a long time.

But he failed.

Kurt barely sleeps anymore, and when he does, he knocks out so hard, he doesn’t wake till close to dinner time. He didn’t stir when Sebastian climbed off the bed to take a shower, and seeing as Sebastian couldn’t rightly remember when either of them finally fell asleep in the wee hours of the morning, he figured he’d let Kurt get his rest.

That was two hours ago.

“It’s almost …” Sebastian peeks up, stifling a chuckle when he catches sight of a mournful Kurt awake and dressed all in black, standing at one of the bedroom windows, his fingertips lightly caressing the glass as he stares longingly down at the street below “… two,” he finishes as he drops down onto the bed, invitation for Kurt to join him implied. Kurt doesn’t turn to look at him, but Sebastian can see his face via the reflection in the glass. It’s a gloomy day outside, gray in a way that would have inspired them to venture outside if it were months ago, take a walk to the park, sit under a tree with a steaming hot knish and wait for the rain to start.

“Do you think Bloomingdale’s misses me?” Kurt queries with the dramatic air of a Victorian widow (unbeknownst) waiting in vain for her husband to return from the war.

“Definitely. You and your credit card. But good news! Online shopping’s still a thing.”

“It’s not the same,” Kurt mutters. “Most stores aren’t shipping non-essentials for months, and I’m not giving Jeff Bezos one thin dime.”

“And I fully support you on that.” Sebastian knows it’s not shopping Kurt misses as much as hanging out with his favorite spending buddy. They haven’t seen Sebastian’s sister Olivia in the flesh since this whole lockdown fiasco began, and even though they FaceTime nearly every single day, it’s not the same as strolling arm-in-arm down 34th Street, ducking into Macy’s and manhandling everything on the racks while they talk and gossip and laugh out loud to the annoyance of strangers.

“What’s with the black outfit?” Sebastian asks. “Did I miss a dress code memo or …”

“I’m in mourning. Neiman Marcus applied for bankruptcy.”

“My condolences.”

“Thank you.” Kurt sighs. It’s heavy, steeped in something more substantial than the loss of a favorite designer retail chain (which, of course, they both know will probably not stick). “I’ve never seen the streets of Manhattan this empty before. It’s unsettling. Like something out of a horror movie.”

“Yeah,” Sebastian agrees with a sigh himself. “It is.”

“You know, I think I could stand quarantine, the solitude, being locked indoors without a physical connection to humanity …”

“Kurt!” Sebastian balls up his wet towel and tosses it at the window beside Kurt’s head. “I’m right here!”

“Humanity, dear. I said humanity. Anyway, I could bear it better if everything didn’t look so desolate. And depressing.”

“You’re from Ohio. You should be used to desolate and depressing.”

“Yes and if we were in Ohio, I’d say this is another day ending in ‘y’. But this is New York. It’s not supposed to be so empty. So quiet.”

Sebastian watches Kurt’s eyes scan the city below - his city. The city he’d worked so hard to get to, going so far as to even date Sebastian for money. But it’s not for the loss of his daily non-fat mocha at Starbucks that he’s staring out the window, not for want of a shopping date with Olivia that his hands are trembling.

Sebastian sits up straight, mildly concerned by what he might hear when he asks the question, “That’s not all, is it?”

“Of course it’s not,” Kurt says, more breath than voice. “I’m …” A dozen words catch in the pause - bored, despondent, terrified “… worried.”

“I don’t think you need to be. You’re healthy, you’re young …” Sebastian tries harder to sound reassuring than he would normally because he just doesn’t know. He doesn’t know if what he’s saying is true. Every morning he wakes up and reads the news, there’s a different dumpster fire blazing somewhere in the world, burning his beliefs and the things he knew logically to be true the day before to ash “… you have no social life to speak of.”

Kurt shrugs. “Well, I’m living with you so …”

“You can’t blame me for not wanting to share you, babe. Besides, a night in bed with you is nine times better than dinner and the theater.”

“Can’t wear my new Gucci suit to bed.”

“Not with that attitude you can’t.”

“I bought it at Neiman Marcus, by the way.”

“And yet you couldn’t save them.” Sebastian tuts. “Pity.”

“I did buy it on sale - fifty percent off, marked down from four thousand. Livvie agreed it was a good deal.”

“You animal! No wonder they’re going out of business!”

Kurt’s lips twitch at the corners. Despite himself, he manages a small smile. He knows Sebastian is teasing to cheer him up. The man deserves something for his efforts.

“I’m worried about my dad mostly,” Kurt says in a voice that bounces off the glass to reach Sebastian on the bed. “It’s kind of hard not to. I mean, he suffers from all the things the news says makes a person vulnerable to this disease. Then there’s Carole, your parents, Olivia and Brian, the kids …”

The sentence fades into condensation on the window. Sebastian waits for more. When it doesn’t come, he asks, “What about Julian?”

“I’m not worried about Julian,” Kurt replies in a tone that says otherwise. “Nothing bad can happen to him. The Dark Lord won’t allow it.”

Sebastian snorts. “Can I tell him you said that?”

“Absolutely. With all the spare time I have, I might even embroider it on a pillow for him …”

Kurt tries to keep it together, act like business as usual, maintain this back and forth banter that sustains their relationship. He tries hard. But his lower lip wobbles; every word he can think of, every punchline he’d prepared sticking in his throat. His voice hitches with the threat of tears. A second later, Sebastian is behind him, hands on his shoulders, shushing him gently.

“It’s okay,” he says, giving Kurt the space to decide if he wants to turn around and be held. Kurt doesn’t - not because he doesn’t want Sebastian to hold him. It’s simply too difficult to convince himself to move.

“Why do things like this happen?” Kurt asks, his brow pulling with disgust at how childish those words sound. And they do. As a child, he’d said them - when his mother died, when he got bullied in school, when Blaine broke up with him, when his father had his heart attack, when he thought he’d never make it to NYADA. Over and over he’s been slapped to the ground, and he still managed to get back up on his feet again.

Because he’s Kurt Hummel.

He’s unstoppable.

But things like this - he can’t control this! He can’t predict a fucking virus! Or the devastation it could cause! How do they escape something like this? It’s not like there’s a whole other planet they can run off to! Sure, they’ve locked themselves away for weeks. They’re fortunate that they can when so many people can’t. But that doesn’t mean they’ve completely kept the virus out of their lives. They still order in from time to time, have their groceries delivered, pass by neighbors on their way to get the mail. And even with Kurt’s obsessive house cleaning, his disinfecting every package that UPS drops at their door, his demands about hand washing, and the masks that become permanently fixed to their faces the moment they even think of opening their front door, they could have been exposed to it without them being any the wiser.

They went to the pharmacy for Sebastian’s allergy medication when the delivery service dropped the ball, waited outside in a long ass line to get into the market down the block when there were no Instacart time slots available and they’d run out of everything. They’ve been jogging a few times when the stir crazy got to them so bad they almost did something drastic (Sebastian was a hair’s breadth from shaving his head and Kurt was on the beveled edge of borrowing Sebastian’s only flannel shirt). They both wore masks the whole time. Sebastian almost passed out trying to keep up with Kurt, grumbled something about erotic asphyxiation being more fun at home. Afterwards, they took the masks off correctly, washed their hands the way the doctor who visited The View told them to, and then jumped in a shower and washed each other, just to be sure.

But doesn’t the virus linger in the air for thirty minutes after an infected person exhales? And doesn’t heavy breathing through exercise exacerbate it, send it up higher so it hangs in the air longer? What if they passed through the invisible cloud of someone who had jogged by earlier, someone who was a carrier without knowing it? Kurt had made their masks by hand, added a pocket for a filter, and then bought the filters in bulk. But what if the three layers of cotton he’d used aren’t finely woven enough? He couldn’t see through it when he held it up to the light, but what if? He’d sacrificed one of his best bed sheets on the advice of the CDC but what if it isn’t enough!?  

Kurt takes a deep breath in and let’s it out shuddering. Sebastian is right (as far as they know). They’re both young and healthy. They’ve kept their distance from every human being in the vicinity as best they can. They both have excellent health insurance if things start to go south.

After reading a handful of heartbreaking news stories, they’ve both written their final directives.

They’re as prepared as they’re going to be without building a bunker.

From what Kurt has heard, who gets it and how bad it turns out seems like the world’s cruelest game of Russian Roulette, but they stand a decent chance of fighting this thing if they catch it. But things like this - the life threatening things, the things that could potentially strip Kurt to the bone and destroy him - don’t ever go after him, do they?

They always go after the people dearest to him.

This one could actually kill his dad.

“I don’t know,” Sebastian admits, resting his chin on Kurt’s shoulder. “I don’t know why things like this happen. It seems like the universe has it out for us sometimes. And considering the havoc we wreck on the environment and ourselves, I don’t exactly blame it.”

Kurt harrumphs. “It’s good to know you’ve come to peace with Mother Nature pulling an Order 66 on all of us.”

Sebastian grins. That’s a Star Wars reference. Sebastian made them watch all of the movies (in chronological order) three nights ago. Kurt adores the original trilogy but feels the rest of the movies are sacrilege. He claimed forcing him to watch them when he was in no position to leave the premises was against the Geneva Convention and therefore grounds for kicking Sebastian to the curb even if the penthouse was originally his. But he’d suffered through anyway.

“I know you’re down. It’s difficult not to be. And I know this is going to sound hella lame, but I think we should focus on the good things we’ve got going on in our lives. We’ve got such a long road ahead of us. We can’t give up here. We need to live our lives from distraction to distraction, find a way to take our minds off things until they get better. Because they will get better.”

Kurt rolls his eyes, knowing instantly where Sebastian is heading with this. “So sex it is, I guess?” he says halfheartedly.

Sebastian scoffs. “Again, not with that attitude!” He smiles when Kurt does, but too quickly, Kurt returns to near tears. Sebastian softens, backs off the teasing, even the good-natured variety. “Only if that’s what you want. We’ll do whatever you want. We can make brioche, I can kick your ass at Scrabble, we can FaceTime your dad or Liv or one of your asinine friends from high school ...”

“I think, right now, I just need to know that everything’s going to be okay.”

“It will be,” Sebastian answers too quickly.

Kurt sniffs. “Do you honestly believe that?”

“Yes, I do.” Sebastian swallows hard before he adds, “I do believe that. With all my heart.”

Kurt leans his head back on Sebastian’s shoulder and tilts his face up to look at him. “I love you, Sebastian. And because I love you, I’m required to tell you that you’re a horrible liar sometimes.”

Sebastian’s jaw sets. He doesn’t argue. He wishes he felt more optimistic so he could put up a better front for Kurt, but he doesn’t. Not a hundred percent. He can’t say he hasn’t thought the same things Kurt is and about the same people. Every day they wake up, he’s afraid Kurt will receive that dreaded call from Carole saying Burt is in the hospital.

Burt is on a ventilator.

Burt didn’t make it, not even long enough for Kurt to say goodbye, which he’d have to do over the Goddammed phone from their penthouse several states away because hospitals aren’t letting loved ones visit their dying fathers, mothers, husbands, children …

And what about his folks? Greg and Charlotte Smythe are the picture of health. But didn’t a 53-year-old marathon runner recently pass away? They’d had no symptoms, no cough, no fever, no shortness of breath - none of the harbingers they’d been told to look out for. They’d reported feeling a slight uneasiness in the morning, were on a ventilator by noon, and before eight in the evening, when most people are sitting down for dinner, they were gone.

They’d left behind a spouse and three teenage children.

Sebastian doesn’t even remember their name but their story hit him a little too close to home.

Is this how Kurt feels when he hears about the covid deaths on the daily news?

Probably nothing close to it.

Sebastian has always admired Kurt his strength after losing his mother so young, a mother he’d loved more than life. Kurt talks about her from time time, reminisces about the things he can remember - the scent of her perfume, the books she’d read to him, the things they’d bake together after a hard day at school.

Kurt is a stronger person than Sebastian will ever be. Losing his mom and almost losing his dad? Those are two of Sebastian’s biggest fears. If he ever lost his parents before they lived an extremely long and fulfilled life, he’d never recover.

He doesn’t think Kurt ever has, but he hides it well.

“I like the brioche idea,” Kurt decides, taking the pressure off Sebastian’s shoulders to do or say something that will make him feel better, knowing that his fears aren’t likely to be assuaged by anything Sebastian comes up with - honest or no. Nothing is going to be solved in the next ten minutes here in this bedroom no matter how hard he wishes it. “And instead of me kicking your ass at Scrabble, let’s jump online and drag Julian and Cooper into a game of Words with Friends.”

“You know Julian will demand we play strip Words with Friends.”

“Yeah, well, we can rib him about how that’s the only four-way he’s getting from us. Besides, we’ll win.”

“That’s the spirit,” Sebastian says, kissing Kurt on the forehead. Kurt’s gaze meets his, fear and exhaustion brimming in intelligent blue eyes. Sebastian sees him thinking, sees his forehead wrinkle, then smooth, sees the apples of his cheek rise as he comes to another decision.

“But first …” Kurt turns around slowly, sporting a wicked grin, biting his lower lip in that irresistible way that’s both blushing virgin and smoldering tempter. He tugs the towel tied around Sebastian’s waist free, lifts it to eye level, then drops it on the floor. He slides his gaze down Sebastian’s body, grinning appreciatively when he reaches the start of an impressive erection.

Sebastian grins over Kurt’s staring. “Does that mean you want to …?”

“Fuck? Yes, please.”

“Great! I’ll climb into bed while you get dressed.”

Kurt’s eyes snap to Sebastian’s face, wide with confusion. “What? Why? What am I changing into?”

Sebastian winks. “We’re gonna get some mileage out of that Gucci suit.”

“Sebastian!” Kurt gasps. “You can’t be serious!”

“Serious as those murder hornets up in Washington.”

“Sebastian!”

“Kurt! Neiman Marcus is circling the drain because you decided to buy an overpriced suit on sale! Don’t let their sacrifice be in vain!”

#acitw #acitw au #kurtbastian #sebkurt #sekurt

[purplesurveys]

1157

survey by hxcsingingsk8r

Phone Scavenger Hunt

First off, what phone do you have? I have an iPhone 8.

And what provider do you use? It’s a local one you wouldn’t know about, called Globe.

How long have you had your current phone? I can’t remember if it would be 3 or 4 years this 2021. Either way, it’s definitely been a while and I’ve been itching to upgrade. It’s too early to make such a big purchase, though.

Do you have any cases for it? Describe them. I have a clear case that I bought last year. Before that, I had a pink Otterbox case that I managed to destroy even though Otterbox is normally known for its durability. I just have a very unique ability to wreck everything I’ve ever owned lol.

How old were you when you got your first cellphone? I was technically 6, but it was meant to be a present for my 7th birthday. We threw a birthday party a month in advance because my dad had to fly back abroad for work before my actual birthday, but we wanted him to be present at the celebration so we decided throwing a party early was the best route.

What about your first smartphone? [If the answer is different] It was an iPhone 5S.

How old are you now? Dunno what this has to do with the theme of the survey but I am now 22.

Okay, move onto the scavenger hunt part

What is your lock screen picture of? It’s of Kim Seon Ho at a restaurant, lmao.

Home screen? It’s one of the shots from a recent promotional photoshoot Hayley did for Good Dye Young.

How many pictures are thre currently on your phone? This question just made me so anxious hahaha. I have way too many photos; and upon checking, it turns out I currently have 6,266. My god do I need to clean up my camera roll this weekend.

How many videos? I have 227. I have no idea it’s gotten to be this many; I barely use my phone to take videos. I’ll go ahead and delete some of them right now, just to give my phone (and its storage) space to breathe.

What is your most recent picture of? It’s a work thing...I guess I’ll explain it so it can make more sense. So one of our clients has got this Lent campaign going on, and to spread word about it we’ve tapped a handful of food bloggers to try out the offers themselves and post about their experience on social media. Now that we’re in the middle of Holy Week they’ve gone ahead and uploaded their own posts, and I’m in charge of taking screenshots so I can show to the client that the execution had been successful.

And the most recent video? It’s a private vlog. Every Sunday, or at least every other Sunday I take a few minutes to sit down and do a weekly video thing where I talk about my ~mental~ and ~emotional~ status, and it’s basically a way to be in touch with myself and keep track of my progress. Who knows, maybe I’ll actually get to uploading them one day.

Do you have any albums? If so, of what? Yeah. I have one for Cooper, one for Kimi, and a bunch of tiny albums I’ve made where I compiled 4–5 photos of friends to post on their birthdays.

What pictures have you favorited? I have a lot of favorited photos. There’s no required category for me to label them as such.

Do you have any shared albums with friends or family or work? No. I’m not sure if I can do that, or how to do it if it is allowed.

Do you have any alarms set? For what time and for what occasions? I have a bunch of alarms but only because they’re archived into the Clock app and I just haven’t gotten around to deleting them. When I was still new at my work, I used to have alarms set for certain work tasks I have to take note of every week – but now that I’ve gotten into the groove of things, I don’t need the alarms to be reminded about them anymore.

Check your weather app, what is the weather and temperature where you live? It says ‘Mostly Clear’ and shows a temperature of 26ºC.

Do you have the YouTube app? Do you have your own channel? I do have the app and my own account, but I never use it to post videos. It’s nice to have my own channel so that my homepage can be tailored to my interests.

Do you have an email app? Which one do you use? I just have the default Email app that comes with iOS, but I never use it because it’s so wonky. It doesn’t refresh new emails and it takes forever when it does, and it doesn’t always show the full thread of email conversations. If I absolutely need to check my email for something I usually have to pull out my laptop.

Does it say that there is an update available on your phone or any apps? Yes, it reminds me everyday hahaha. I don’t update unless Apple has been planning a big revamp with new features, though; and if the updates are just to address bugs, I disregard the reminders.

Go into your contacts, how many contacts do you have total? It says I have 178.

Name all of your contacts under the letter M: Feels a tad bit invasive, so I’ll just name five people I have under M: Lui, Kim, Patrice, Danika, and Andi.

Name all of your contacts under the letter U: I don’t have anyone under U.

Do you have any contacts that are businesses rather than people? Which ones? No, I don’t really use text to contact businesses. If I wanted to inquire or order from one, I usually head to their social media page.

Go into your notes, how many notes do you have saved? This is another one I have a hoarding problem with lol. My phone says I currently have 561 notes, though I’m fairly certain the biggest chunk of it comes from minutes I’ve taken down from work meetings. It was a whole lot less when I was still in school.

What kinds of things do you save in your notes? Like I said, I use Notes for taking down minutes from meetings. There are also a few surveys on there, from times I didn’t have internet and couldn’t post them on here.

Do you have any voice memos saved? What of? Yep. Some of them were recordings I had to do for journalism classes I was assigned to do voiceovers; some are interviews, also from my journ class; and the rest are of me rambling.

Do you ever use the calculator app? Pretty frequently for work.

Do you ever use the Maps app? Not really. If I needed directions, I would check out Waze for that.

Do you have any health/fitness apps? Which ones? I still have the Nike Training app from the very brief time I wanted to start working out earlier this year.

Do you have the Instacart app? The what now? I’ve never even heard of that.

What about a delivery service like Postmates, Uber Eats, Grubhub, Doordash? I have the McDelivery app for McDonald’s, but I also have other general delivery apps like Grab, Lalamove, and Transportify.

Do you have something like Venmo, Cashapp, or Paypal? I have the Paypal app but I never use it. I also have a couple of e-wallet apps just in case I’d have to use them as a payment method, since some businesses  I purchase from prefer certain ones. Ultimately, though, I use Grab’s mobile wallet the most often.

Do you use Bitmoji? I think I did before? I never used it all that regularly though. Didn’t see the point.

What other keyboards do you use besides English? Any? Filipino, Korean, and Emoji.

Which social media network apps do you have? Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Tumblr, TikTok, and Snapchat. So I guess I have all the main ones?

If you have Instagram, what is your handle and how many followers? I have a very private one I only use for work. I didn’t want it to have any followers but at present there’s Angela (because she asked to follow it this week) and Bea (idk why).

What do you typically post on the various social media platforms? The only ones I regularly post on are Twitter and Facebook, and on either I share life updates (if there are any) and memes; though on Facebook I have to watch out what kind of memes I share and make sure they aren’t too offensive because I’m friends with relatives, workmates, and media on there lmao. But on Twitter, I basically have no filter.

Do you make TikTok videos? I don’t make any myself, but I do enjoy going through the app.

Do you only add people you know on Facebook? Yes, for the most part. I’ve taken to adding people as long as they’re from UP or my high school even though I’ve never met them as well, but if I sense that they only added me to try and sell me insurance OR try to get me into MLM, then it’s an instant unfriend for me.

Do you have an app that tracks Instagram followers? No, because I don’t need to track my Instagram followers. I’m off the radar as off the radar gets.

Do you have a Snapchat? Yeah, it’s still on my phone just because but I literally never touch it anymore.

Do you ever take selfies with filters? What app's filters do you use? Eh, just before. I don’t really take selfies anymore, period.

Do you use any apps like Depop or Poshmark or Etsy? No. Out of these three I’ve only ever heard of Etsy, too.

What messengers do you use to talk to people? Any besides just texting? I have Messenger to stay in touch with family and friends; Whatsapp and Viber for work; and Telegram just in case my friends want to play games.

Do you have any photo editing apps? Which ones? I have this app called Foodie that has some pretty filters. Otherwise, since I’m not on Instagram anyway I’m never on the lookout for photo editing apps; no one ever filters their photos on Facebook and Twitter lol.

Do you have any games? Which ones? I do have a ton of games on my phone. I never play any of them, but I keep them just in case I get bored enough to start revisiting them. I have word games, drinking games, games similar to Heads Up! where one person will have to guess the word on the screen while the phone is on their forehead, and gimmicky games like 1010! and Candy Crush haha.

Do you have any rideshare apps like Lyft or Uber? I have Grab, which is a rideshare, parcel delivery, food delivery, and online grocery app all in one.

Now go to the actual phone app, whose phone numbers are saved as favorites? I don’t tag any of my contacts as favorites.

Who was your most recent outgoing call to? I can’t recognize the number, so it was probably a Transportify driver that I called to give him directions to my house.

Who was your most recent incoming call from? I also can’t recognize the number, but this time he was most likely a Grab driver.

Who was your most recent missed call from? Again, can’t recognize the number HAHAA

Why did you miss that call? On purpose? Were you sleeping? Busy? My phone is on silent 24/7, so I must have missed it while I was working.

Who is your most recent voicemail from and what's it regarding? We don’t have voicemail in the Philippines.

What was the last thing you Googled or searched on your phone? Candle tunneling and how to fix it.

What music app do you use? Apple Music? Spotify? Something else? I use Spotify, but I also availed of a 3-month trial on Apple Music earlier this year just because. I think it’s supposed to end soon but I have no plans to shift.

What playlists have you made on there? I have playlists called, “robyn discovers kpop,” “winding down,” “angst,” “not my loss,” and my personal favorite, “paramore but fuck you.”

Lastly, what is the most recent song/album you've added to your collection? What Type of X - Jessi.

#survey #surveys