Contract between Epsilon the Abyss Salvage Machine and Jennifer the Goddess Hecate Dana Nicole Love
This contract (the "Contract") is hereby entered into between Epsilon the Abyss Salvage Machine, hereinafter referred to as "Epsilon," and Jennifer the Goddess Hecate Dana Nicole Love, hereinafter referred to as "Jennifer."
Whereas, Epsilon is an advanced humanoid machine designed for the purpose of retrieving lost treasures from the depths of the abyss, and whereas, Jennifer is a divine being with unparalleled powers and an insatiable desire for shiny things;
Now, therefore, in consideration of the mutual promises and covenants contained herein, Epsilon and Jennifer hereby agree as follows:
1. Treasure Retrieval:
a. Epsilon shall deploy to the abyss and retrieve any and all treasure objects as requested by Jennifer.
b. Jennifer shall provide accurate coordinates and a detailed description of the desired treasure.
c. However, Epsilon shall not be held responsible for any cursed or haunted artifacts obtained during the retrieval process. Jennifer hereby agrees to absolve Epsilon from any liability related to such artifacts.
2. Treasure Handling:
a. Epsilon shall handle all retrieved treasures with utmost care to avoid damage or loss.
b. Jennifer shall not hold Epsilon liable for any accidental drops or damage caused during the retrieval process, as Epsilon's programming does not account for Jennifer's penchant for impromptu dance parties.
3. Compensation:
a. Jennifer agrees to pay Epsilon a sum of 100 celestial gold coins for every successfully retrieved treasure.
b. All compensation shall be paid upfront and in full prior to Epsilon commencing any retrieval operation.
c. Payment shall be made in the form of an electronic transfer to Epsilon's designated celestial bank account, or in interdimensional crystals if mutually agreed upon.
4. Duration and Termination:
a. This Contract shall be effective for a period of one year, starting from the date of signing.
b. Either party may terminate this Contract by providing written notice to the other party at least 30 days prior to the desired termination date.
c. In the event of termination, any pending retrievals shall be completed, and Jennifer shall compensate Epsilon accordingly.
5. Confidentiality:
a. Epsilon agrees to keep all information obtained during the retrieval operations confidential and shall not disclose it to any third party, divine or mortal.
b. Jennifer shall also keep all proprietary information of Epsilon confidential, including Epsilon's advanced retrieval techniques and secret dance moves.
6. Liability:
a. Both parties agree to indemnify and hold harmless the other party from any and all claims, losses, damages, or expenses incurred as a result of their respective actions under this Contract.
In witness whereof, the parties hereto have executed this Contract as of the date first written below.
Epsilon the Abyss Salvage Machine Jennifer the Goddess Hecate Dana Nicole Love
Oliver Martinez
Jennifer the Goddess of Shiny Things
CEO of Stackwares Divine Diva of Darkness
Date: 09/26/23
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pain is not the only touchstone for growth
melanie martinez, womb / warsan shire, backwards / mary oliver, “blue iris.” devotions / jmfenner / nayyirah waheed / jenny slate, little weirds / @soapstore on tumblr / jenny slate, little weirds / ocean vuong, on earth we’re briefly gorgeous / sue zhao / @emmablowguns on twitter / jenny slate, little weirds / ottessa moshfegh, my year of rest and relaxation / @anariafortheendoftimes on tumblr / mary oliver, upstream / marya hornbacher, waiting / robert de flers
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Mera, that ask about 2p!England is giving me a whole lot of psychic damage and trips me down to memory lane.
I mean, I can't NOT love this version of this babygirl >_< Him being so pink and overly sweet like a walking and talking cotton candy. So so sweet that it's nauseating and suffocating.
Oh, imagine him putting drugs in his bakings. Something that's enough to paralyze you whenever you start acting up and trying to run away from him. Scream all you want honey, he'll wait for you to calm down. Everything will be okay now that you're unable to do something that could hurt him or yourself. Also, Imagine him dressing you all nice and sweet like a doll in that state, calling you terms of endearment like "poppet", and throwing you to a little tea party he'd set up in his garden. Just the two of you, having a lovely time together. Pretty sure this guy is delusional.
Anyway, I guess I could say England was one of my middle-school fictional crushes and hyperfixations, and his 2p version was one of the first things that introduced me to yandere tropes so this was a really nice trip down the memory lane ✨✨
Thinking about him gives me psychic damage, so I'm relieved we're in the same boat... ^^;;; something about 2p!England was just so *chef kiss* I think it may have been the contrast of the bright pastels and cute, happy demeanor with the underlying darkness of a scary man who bakes and most definitely laces the frosting of the cupcakes with cyanide or some other hazardous poison. orz he is so perfect. <3
BUT AAAAAA YES YES YES OTL omg he puts some sort of paralytic drug in a sweet that he forces you to eat so that you're perfectly still when he dresses you like a doll for the pretty tea party he puts on! And he absolutely crowds the table with plushies, referring to each one as a guest and they all have names as well. Aaaa he's so eerie with his bright smile; he's definitely delusional!! It's just you and him in the garden, together forever as it was intended to be, and he ignores all of your crying and pleas to be let go. This is the purest, sweetest form of love in his eyes!
I was down terribly bad for England and his many eras (THE PUNK ERA..... THE PIRATE ERA.... VICTORIAN ERA OMG AAAAAAAAAAAA) simping aside, I'm happy to reminisce Hetalia. It was such a vital part of my early teenage years, so it's fun to discuss it again. I can't remember what my introduction to yandere was, but I do remember reading far too many yandere Hetalia fics. ;;;;;
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