#or put in the water theyre fine | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

puppy-byun · 9 months

Text

Just Friends...Unless...? | Pt. 2

pairing: Hyunjin x Reader / a sprinkle of Seonghwa x Reader

rating: 18+

word count: 10.5k

genre: smut / friends to lovers / angst / university au

warnings: drinking, curse words, angst, bad flirting

summary: You weren’t crushing on Hyunjin. You couldn’t be crushing on Hyunjin because you were just friends, and there was no way he would ever feel the same way about you. Right? Unless...?

note: no smut in this one, just angst and lots of miscommunication because they're really dumb..., also fuckboy!seonghwa who's purposely bad at flirting, theyre gonna get it together but they need 10.5k words of being jealous and dumb first...

previous | masterlist | next

You woke up feeling fine for about half a second - then you remembered what had happened just few hours ago. Glancing at the alarm clock on your nightstand you cursed, knowing with a certainty that if you had only just woken up then Hyunjin, who had drunk way more, had missed his morning class for sure. He would be feeling bad about that for at least a week, practicing twice as hard to make up for it. But that wasn’t the point. He had crashed on your couch because you had not trusted him to get home on his own and it really wasn’t the first time he slept over. But things were definitely different now, because you did not want to see him freshly woken up, hair disheveled and uncombed, face puffy. You didn’t know how you would handle it hours after realizing you were still very much crushing on him.

But since Hyunjin was literally one of your closest friends and you couldn’t avoid him for long without it becoming weird, you decided it was best to get it over with. Dragging yourself out of bed you threw on an oversized shirt and pulled open your bedroom door, instantly catching the gaze of Chaeryoung, your roommate, who was leaning against the frame of her own bedroom door. She was clearly more put together than you were, hair done and properly dressed, one perfectly lined eyebrow raised.

“Really, on a Thursday?” she half whispered, half shouted through the room, and you rolled your eyes at her attitude, a sly grin spreading on your face.

“I didn’t even really drink, so don’t look at me like that.”

“Yeah but someone did,” she laughed, inclining her head towards Hyunjin, who had his face buried in a pillow and let out a pained groaned at the same moment.

“I think that was me,” he was grumbling into the sofa, raising one hand half-heartedly. You told yourself it was out of concern that you went straight to the kitchen to get him a glass of water, and not if only to avoid him for another moment, because that would be simply ridiculous. He was right there in your living room, so you would have to face him. You would have to talk if you wanted to salvage what was left to salvage after last night.

Sitting on the low living room table you held the glass out to him, grateful for another moment he spent whining into the pillow before he slowly sat up. It wasn’t fair, that he would look this good with a pout on his puffy lips, eyes swollen and hair a tangled mess on his head.

He didn’t immediately take the glass, looking at you instead, so intently you were sure he was trying to gauge some reaction. Was he looking for any indication on what you thought about last night? You were almost certain he would bring it up any second, but then he simply took the glass from your hands, chugging the whole thing in one go before he finally managed a lopsided, soft grin.

“Morning, bunny. Why do you look this pretty in the morning while I feel like a truck just ran over me?” He was always saying things like that and it really should not affect you. It was nothing out of the ordinary. But god, it hurt.

“First of all, stop lying. Secondly, maybe because I didn’t down every drink within grabbing distance unlike someone else.”

Another groan left his mouth and he slumped back into the couch in defeat.

“I don’t know why I thought that would be a good idea.”

You pressed your lips in a line, not sure how to respond because you knew what you should do was talk about what happened and just get it over with. If it really just was a stupid drunk idea, just a hook-up, you’d have to deal with it and you would, but you needed to know. You had stomped down this crush once already until you were certain it was gone. Throwing a quick glance at where Chaeryoung had been standing you assured yourself she was back in her bedroom and had closed the door before you continued.

“Actually, about last night…” you started, uncertain how to approach the topic without straight up saying ‘why did you finger me in a park?’. Hyunjin rubbed his palms over his eyes almost aggressively, head thrown back on the sofa. There was a pregnant pause, your unfinished sentence hanging in the air between you, waiting for him to pick it up. He opened his mouth once before he closed it, rubbing over his eyes again.

“I didn’t do anything stupid, right? You stopped me?” He still wasn’t looking at you, and for a moment you were desperately hoping he would add anything else. What did he expect you to say? Wasn’t it obvious what you wanted to talk about? Was it really so casual for him that he wouldn’t even mention it? You had never even seen him kiss a girl, let alone anything more, and knowing him the way you did you were sure he wasn’t the type to have hook ups this casual. Yes, he had been extremely drunk, but could he really just have forgotten? You didn’t think he had been that black-out drunk.

“I-“ you started, brain working twice as hard to find the right words. “I thought we-“

He was now looking at you from under his palms, one eyebrow raised, and his gaze was filled with honest confusion. He had forgotten. He had forgotten he had been making out with his best friend, and now you were left to deal with the aftermath all by yourself, while he didn’t even remember.

“Yeah, of course I kept you from doing something you’d regret,” you sighed, shoulders slumping ever so slightly in defeat. The change on his face was instant, a smile spreading and Hyunjin was beaming at you. It hurt, because he was looking you like you were his world, and you were, just not in the way you wanted to be.

“Knew I could always rely on you, that’s why you’re my favorite,” he went on, one fingertip booping the tip of your nose before he leant back with another pained groan, realizing it was too much movement too fast for his hungover body. You couldn’t bear to look at him any longer, chest clenching, so instead you got up, mumbling that you would bring him breakfast. It only took you barely ten minutes, but you savored the time you were left by yourself instead of looking at Hyunjin, which only made it all the much worse when you felt his hands wrap around your waist, chin comfortably settling on your shoulder.

“How do I deserve you again?”

His words did nothing but make you feel horribly empty, because whatever last night was, he didn’t mean it. He had kissed you and touched you because he was drunk and he was horny and for some reason it had been enough to make you crave him all over. Yet he didn’t even remember. If it had meant something for him, wouldn’t last night have been the perfect moment to say so? You had spent a whole walk to your dorm in silence, and not the comfortable kind. If there ever was a chance for him to mention that he liked you, it would have been then, fueled by liquid courage. But he hadn’t said anything. Not last night, and not this morning. And whether he actually had forgotten or was just pretending not to remember anything, the result was the same. You wouldn’t be talking about what happened ever again.

“Guess you just got really lucky,” you chuckled, but even to you it sounded hollow. You desperately wished this moment would mean something, but it was nothing out of the ordinary, and if anyone caught you like this they wouldn’t even consider that you were anything but friends, because Hyunjin had been this comfortable around you for years.

“That I did. By the way, Felix asked if we were gonna go for Boba later today, you in?”

You were running late, because you had somehow ended up convincing yourself that if you scrolled through your Instagram feed in your pajamas up until five minutes before you had to leave you could still totally make it. It had most certainly nothing to do with the fact that Hyunjin was one of the more punctual members of your friend group and you had wanted to avoid waiting with him alone for everyone else. You had to get over it, and you had to get over it fast, because even if you had been more than friendly last night, and even if he actually had forgotten, which you weren’t quite buying, even if it meant nothing, underneath it all Hyunjin was still your best friend. The entire reason of getting over your crush had always been not to lose that, and that objective hadn’t changed.

You had miscalculated though, because now you were effectively running fifteen minutes late. You cringed internally when you saw that indeed almost everyone had arrived. Even Jeongin seemed to have found a free spot between all his classes to show up, and he was already tapping his wristwatch when he spotted you from afar.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry!” You apologized, a little out of breath because you had started hurrying once you realized you were more than your planned five minutes late. “I was busy with, uh, assignments and I totally forgot the time.”

“They were that thrilling, huh?” Jeongin commented with a raised eyebrow and you stuck your tongue out at the younger boy.

“I thought you were already done with all your stuff last night. Didn’t you tell me you finished it all so you could come to karaoke night without feeling bad?”

You closed your eyes for a second, taking a deep breath to swallow the curse threatening to fall over your lips. Hyunjin knew you too well, and there was no way he was buying your, admittedly, bad excuse. You decided to switch tactics because clearly this wasn’t working for you anyways.

“I’m not even last so I don’t know why you’re all so upset with me. Where’s Minho?”

“Practice, he’s not coming. So, we were indeed waiting for you, don’t try to get out of this one,” Jisung joked and you sighed, raising your hands in defeat.

“Alright, alright. I’m here now, it’s not like you’re all overly punctual. Can we just get bubble tea now?”

You weren’t truly angry at their reaction, knowing they were only teasing you and didn’t actually care whether you were late, but you had been so on edge the whole day that you couldn’t help but snap a little. It wasn’t their fault. If anything, it was solely Hyunjin’s fault, but you couldn’t even truly blame him, because he hadn’t done anything you hadn’t wanted him to do. It was awkward now because you were the one hoping it meant more than he had actually intended it to mean.

Ignoring the confused look Chan was giving you at your tone you were glad no one but him seemed to really notice that something was off. He would at least not address it while everyone else was here. You followed your group of friends towards your go-to campus boba shop, making sure that you stuck to neither Chan nor Hyunjin, listening to Felix and Seungmin discussing the perfect mixture of strawberry banana smoothies instead. It was a welcome distraction from being stuck with your own thoughts, as you had been since this morning. You had been unable to stop your mind from going over every single word or touch that had passed between you and Hyunjin from last night to now, because you couldn’t comprehend how it had gotten the point where you were making out, and then progressed from there to … absolutely nothing. You had been joking the whole night, as you usually were, Hyunjin growing progressively more touchy the more drunk he got. The whole night had been nothing out of the ordinary at all, until he suddenly got upset, ignored you, and then ended up with his tongue down your throat on a park bench. Stealing a small glance at him while he was deeply in conversation with Jisung, both of them laughing about something undoubtedly stupid, you couldn’t help but wonder if he could really not remember anything. He seemed so casual and unbothered. But then again, if it wasn’t a big deal for him, if he had just been drunk and horny, why wouldn’t he be unbothered? Maybe you hadn’t been as subtle in your crush as you thought and he had realized the mistake he’d made, so he had decided it would save you both a lot of trouble if he just pretended last night never happened.

Angry at how you had successfully managed to completely fade out the conversations around you, your thoughts once again gravitating back to Hyunjin, you plopped down next to Seungmin, leaving the others to order their bubble tea because you had lost your appetite. You were starting to question why you had even shown up. Naively you had thought it would improve your mood, hell, you had hoped that meeting in your friend circle would even ease some of the awkwardness you now felt at being around Hyunjin, but instead it had only made you angry at your own stupidity.

It really did not help that a minute later Hyunjin was sliding a grass green honeydew flavored bubble tea in front of you with a grin.

“Got you your favorite.”

“I-“ You didn’t quite manage to tell him that you didn’t feel like drinking bubble tea, especially not when he bought it for you, because he was positively beaming at you and normally you would have loved how thoughtful and sweet he was all the time. “Thank you, Hyunjin,” you sighed instead, managing a smile that came nowhere near reaching your eyes. “You didn’t have to.”

He rolled his eyes and you realized that apart from the slight lack of enthusiasm in your tone nothing you’d said was out of the ordinary. With all the commotion around you it wouldn’t even be unlikely that he didn’t notice something was off.

“You know I love spoiling you. Besides, you made breakfast, I’m only returning the favor.”

“I told you!” Felix surged up opposite of you, pointing an accusatory finger at Seungmin. “I knew he slept over!”

“Obviously I did, where did you think I was all night? Besides, would you rather I’d let her walk home by herself in the middle of the night? What if someone saw her walking by herself and got dumb ideas?”

Like kiss your best friend you thought bitterly, holding yourself back from commenting. Hyunjin sleeping over was a casual affair and no one would think it was weird or would even assume that things had went wrong somewhere between last night and now.

They were still bickering and you focused back on the boba instead, forcing yourself to drink it because not only did you usually love honeydew, but it would be pretty suspicious if you didn’t touch it, even though you felt sick to your stomach.

It was downright ridiculous how uncomfortable you felt when you could just focus on anyone else but Hyunjin. You were still overheated from hurrying through the heat all the way over campus, and the temperatures in the store didn’t help you calm down. You felt too hot, and you knew your face was probably pretty red.

As if reading your thoughts Jisung addressed you.

“You look like you’re close to having a heat stroke. We’re reaching thirty degrees; you’re wearing high collared shirts and no one finds this even remotely suspect?”

Mentally scolding yourself you prepared to give the most nonchalant answer possible, because you only now realized your mistake. It was indeed pretty off brand for you to be quite as covered up as you were in your high collared shirt, sweating and positively hating your choice of clothing, except you hadn’t had any other options upon realizing that Hyunjin had littered your entire cleavage in dark purple hickeys. Everyone had seen you leave with him, you couldn’t have possibly explained them away.

Daring another glance in Hyunjin’s direction you tried to gauge whether Jisung’s words affected him in any way. If he remembered he must know why you had opted to sweat rather than show even the slightest bit of cleavage. But he wasn’t even looking at you, straw of his bubble tea popped into his mouth and chewing on the tapioca pearls as if this had absolutely nothing to do with him.

“Maybe I just realized I’m friends with eight guys whose biggest concern is how much boob I show.”

“You know that’s not what I meant,” Jisung pouted, and you felt even guiltier for continuously snapping at your friends unfairly simply because you were so agitated because of Hyunjin.

“Gross, I have no interest in your boobs.” Chan added, pulling a face that actually had you chuckle a little.

“I know Chan, you’re the only one I can trust.” You reassured him, patting his hand across the table.

“I’ve never once even looked at your boobs, if you think about it maybe you should actually be insulted.” Seungmin mused, but you caught the devilish grin pulling at the corner of his mouth, giving away that he was teasing you. Still, you crossed your arms with a pout and went along with it, because everyone at the table was chuckling now, including Hyunjin, and you really didn’t want to draw any more attention to the fact that something was severely off.

“Actually, how about we just stop talking about my boobs altogether,” you suggested, not actually uncomfortable because you trusted them, but rather because you did not want to tread so close to the edge of a topic that you didn’t even want to think about, yet couldn’t stop anyways.

“Yes, please.” Chan added with a dramatic sigh, and you used the moment to steal another glance at Hyunjin, studying his reactions. Usually, you could read your friend like an open book. He mostly wore his heart on his sleeve. He was grinning at Chan, clearly amused by how bothered your friend was by this topic, but there was absolutely no indication that he felt even remotely as tense as you. If anything, he looked relaxed and at ease, a very stark contrast to how you felt and probably looked. You had been skeptical but by now you were actually starting to believe that he really did not remember anything that had gone down last night. It was ironic, that he would leave your skin littered with reminders of something that you couldn’t possibly forget even without them, when he was the one who’d actually need a refresher.

“Hey, uhm… Jisung?” A timid voice ripped you out of your thoughtsand conveniently offered the change of topic Chan had desperately been asking for. Right next to the boy in question stood a cute girl in a yellow summer dress, her hair bound together with a fitting bow. She seemed vaguely familiar, but you couldn’t place her. Jisung, however, clearly could because he blanched and turned around so fast he almost yeeted himself off his chair. It would have been funny if you hadn’t been quite so confused. Looking around to check, it seemed as if the only other person who did not recognize this girl was Hyunjin, and as a follow up his confused gaze met yours, eyebrow raised and you could almost hear how he was going through faces in his head, asking whether you knew who this was.

“You’re Jisung, right? The one who did that rap thing last night?”

You couldn’t fully suppress a snort when Hyunjin’s and yours eyes widened comically, your gazes of surprise mirroring each other. That was karaoke bar girl.

“I’m Yuna, by the way,” she added when Jisung still did not say anything and instead just stared at her as if she’d hung the moon. You saw the movement and heard the scramble under the table before Jisung yelped and you knew that Jeongin had mercilessly kicked him in the shin, but it did push Jisung out of his state of being awestruck.

“Yes, yeah, I’m Jisung. I did the rapping. Yuna. Hi!” He almost yelped again on those last two words and you felt the way everyone was on the edge of their seat, praying that he would take this opportunity and not fuck it up again.

“You were really good,” Yuna complimented with a smile so pretty you couldn’t miss the way Jisung was melting. “Anyway, you’re with your friends, I don’t want to keep you-“ she started, clearly now noticing that there were seven other people staring at them and hanging on their every word.

“Do you want my number?” Jisung blurted out, and you almost laughed when Felix and Chan fist-bumped under the table. Yuna seemed just as ecstatic at the idea, fishing her phone out of her bag so Jisung could enter his phone number before she excused herself with an awkward half-wave, eyes mostly glued on Jisung. There was half a minute of utter silence on your table while Yuna was strolling out of the boba store before everyone erupted into hollering and cheering, Chan tousling Jisung’s hair so enthusiastically the poor boy had a hard time sitting upright. He was clearly still in state of shock while everyone else was celebrating that he had finally gotten somewhere with karaoke girl – Yuna – and while you were truly happy for your friend you felt another wave crash over you almost at the same time. Where had your love-life gone so phenomenally wrong?

Sure, you had hook-ups whenever you felt like it, and that was nice from time to time, but Jisung was still staring as if he couldn’t comprehend what had just happened, and how should he? The girl he had been crushing on for the last months seemed to be interested in him. The only time you had ever felt like that was with Hyunjin. You had squashed those feelings temporarily, but while you had had good casual sex no one else had managed to elicit butterflies quite the way Hyunjin could, and you now knew why. You were not over him, and until you were you would be stuck with feeling empty, a perpetual weight on your chest that would never allow room for butterflies and all those other mushy feeling that came with being in love.

You felt your phone vibrate next to you on the table, picking it up only to be greeted with a message from Chan popping up on your lock screen.

[4:37 PM] From: Chan 🐺

U okay? you look kinda sad…

You looked up at him quickly, catching his worried gaze from across the table and chided yourself for being so careless. Just because everyone else was too caught up in being happy for Jisung – as they should be – didn’t mean your oldest friend wouldn’t catch you sulking and wallowing in self-pity right in front of him.

You shot him a thumbs up with a smile that felt thin and pathetic.

[4:38 PM] To: Chan 🐺

Yeah don’t worry. Didn’t get much sleep last night and im pretty tired…

You didn’t outright look at him after he’d read your message, watching him from the corner of your eyes and you could tell he wasn’t buying it. Attempting to appease him you clicked back in to the celebrations, putting on the brightest smile you could possibly manage with how you actually felt, but you immediately regretted it. They had moved on from celebrating Jisung’s love life to teasing Hyunjin about his, by trying to set him up with the barista currently mixing cream cheese milk tea. If he was bothered by it, he barely showed any signs. To his benefit he did not actually get up to talk to her, but he also didn’t react quite as prickly as he had when you had tried setting him up with Chaeyoung last night, and it only added to the irritation you felt towards him and your whole predicament.

“What’s your opinion?”

You didn’t realize the question had been directed at you until Felix was throwing the paper wrapping of his straw at you. You quickly threw another gaze at the barista, not really taking her in at all.

“Hmmm? Yeah, she’s cute.”

No one commented on your complete lack of enthusiasm compared to usual, and if they found it strange they didn’t react in any way, instead turning back to the conversation at hand.

It was all a little too much and a little too suffocating and you knew that if you got up and left now you wouldn’t have a good excuse, but you didn’t care. You had already been acting strange the whole last hour or so you had been here, so it really didn’t make much of a difference anymore.

Signaling Seungmin and Felix that you wanted to get up you snuck out of the booth, squishing past them and threw a quick goodbye at the table. You turned to hurry out of the shop before they could properly realize that you were actually leaving, trying to avoid the questions that would undoubtedly be thrown at you if anyone stopped you now. You were positive you had handled that moment anything but smoothly, but you didn’t get very far before Hyunjin, of all people, caught up to you. He had your not even half empty bubble tea in one hand, which you had conveniently not taken with you.

“You forgot this,” he stated the obvious, holding the drink out to you and you grabbed it, with the full intention of never drinking it either way.

You didn’t know what to say, but it was clearly not the right moment to turn around and just leave, so for a second you were simply staring at Hyunjin stubbornly, willing him to go back into the store. Instead, you found yourself wrapped in his arms, one of those hugs that were usually the most comforting thing in the world, but felt like pure torture now.

“Grab some sleep, ‘kay?” He was murmuring into your hair, and you closed your eyes and willed yourself to simply nod, praying that was answer enough. Let him think you were simply tired and exhausted; it was better than the alternative. “I don’t know what’s gotten you so down, but you know you’re still my favorite girl in the world, right bunny? You can talk to me about it.”

His words were just the cherry on top of a whole load of bullshit you did not want to deal with so you carefully untangled yourself, throwing him the most awkward thumbs up in the world, bubble tea in one hand, smile that couldn’t possibly have been convincing grazing your lips, before you turned around and almost bolted.

Things got worse from here on out, and the only one to blame was you. Having realized that you were clearly not cut out to handle the situation you had drawn back, spending the entirety of the next week by focusing on your courses and assignments, for once getting them done in time. Completely withdrawing from your friends did wonders for your work ethics, but Chaeryoung, who you had refused to fill in on the whole situation but knew something was wrong, kept repeating that this wasn’t a healthy coping mechanism.

You hadn’t completely withdrawn from everyone, because that would have only aroused suspicions that you could not have explained away. You did still reply in the group chat as if everything was fine, telling them that you were simply very busy and needed this time to focus on studying so you could stay on top of your courses. Whether they believed it or not was a different matter, but they left you be.

Hyunjin, however, knew you better and had been texting you the minute you bolted from him at the boba shop. He had also texted you the following three days, checking in if you were okay, if there was anything he could do, if you wanted to talk. You appeased him with excuses and conversation that you were sure he was seeing straight through. You weren’t actively trying to push him away, but whenever you received a text for him your brain shut down and you couldn’t help but feel as if everything you held dear was crumbling. Eventually Hyunjin gave up, and you weren’t surprised when, two days later on a Saturday midday, you finally received a text from Chan.

[11:14 AM] From: Chan 🐺

You might be able to fool the guys but you’re not smooth enough to fool me.

[11:14 AM] I can’t force you to tell me what’s wrong but what you’re doing is unhealthy.

[11:16 AM] To: Chan 🐺

Studying? I agree...

[11:17 AM] From: Chan 🐺

I ain’t buying it.

There wasn’t another message for a couple of minutes and you thought that maybe you had avoided this conversation, even though Chan was undoubtedly disappointed you didn’t even talk to him after years of friendship. But just when you were ready to put this from your mind and focus on something else your phone buzzed again.

[11:23 AM] From: Chan 🐺

Are you in love with Hyunjin again?

You were staring at your own phone screen in disbelief, half a heart to throw the device against the wall and move out of the country, but that would only confirm Chan’s suspicions. How did he even figure that out, having seen you once since that night and not again after that.

[11:24 AM] To: Chan 🐺

No????

[11:25 AM] How did u even get that idea lmao chan I’ve been over him for the last two years

[11:26 AM] From: Chan 🐺

He told me you’re barely answering his texts. Thinks he’s pissed you off but the last time you got like that was when you thought you could get over your crush.

[11:27 AM] To: Chan 🐺

Idk what hes talking about, I told you all I’m busy.

You were bordering on snapping at your friends again, and you knew that your replies to Chan right now did nothing to convince him that he wasn’t right. Chan knew you too well, and if he’d already come to the conclusion himself then nothing you said or wrote could convince him otherwise, since he was right and he could tell.

Your phone buzzed again and the only reason you didn’t ignore the message was because you knew Chan would be at your front door in twenty minutes if you did, if he wasn’t on his way here already anyway. But the message wasn’t from Chan.

[11:31 AM] From: Jinnie 🍓

Don't know if u saw in the group chat but there's a pool party at Wooyoung's later today

[11:31 AM] I thought you might wanna come too

[11:33 AM] I miss you.

I miss you. You read over those last three words again and again, ready to tear your hair out in frustration. He was missing his friend, of course he was, you had barely talked, let alone seen each other in a week, when you usually spent almost every day together. But the way those three words made your chest constrict and filled your stomach with a jittery feeling was absolutely ridiculous.

You had indeed seen the messages about the party in the group chat, but initially immediately decided that you would not go. But now that Hyunjin had asked you and you thought about it, it started to sound more and more like a great idea. Jung Wooyoung was was ridiculously rich and ridiculously spoiled, and if he threw a party it would be big. What better opportunity to prove to yourself that you were not in love with Hyunjin, than to go to a party filled with drunk frat boys? If nothing else, the alcohol would at least surely serve as another unhealthy coping mechanism to distract you. Your feelings for Hyunjin, if you could even call them that, were merely a crush anyways, and you were a big girl who could get over a crush, even though you knew that Chaeryoung would be telling you that this plan screamed disaster if you told her about it.

[11:35 AM] To: Jinnie 🍓

sure ill be there 👍

[11:35 AM] miss you too!

It seemed to have become a common theme that you were running late where Hyunjin was concerned. You had taken too long for your make up, to choose what outfit to wear even though you ultimately settled on a cute swimsuit, an oversized t-shirt and shorts, as you had known you would.

You had told Hyunjin you missed him and that wasn’t a lie, but that only made the situation infinitely worse. You wanted to be able to act normal around him, to be friends with him exactly the way you used to be. It had been easy and comfortable and in the span of little over a week it had all be turned upside down. Now you were stuck in this awkward vacuum where you desperately missed your friend, yet every time you saw him your heart pinched and you couldn’t even look at him without behaving off.

The fact that he was so patient with you even though he had no idea what had happened to have you act so distant only spoke volumes about how good of a friend he really was, and it was high time you got your act together, because you did not want to lose this friendship, and acting the way you were, you were on the best way to achieving that.

With that resolution you approached Wooyoung’s house, the music audible even before you entered the front lawn. Sprinklers were placed on the lush green lawn, a few people lingering and shoving each other in the water. It was only six pm so the sun was still up high and strong. You entered the house, unsure where to start looking for your friends but you figured the back yard with the pool would be a good start.

It helped that they were usually loud, because as soon as you entered the garden through the balcony doors you had no trouble spotting Changbin and Felix in the crowd of people. They were in the pool, drenched head to toe because they were apparently fighting to see who could drown the other first. Letting your eyes pass on you found Chan with Seungmin by the lounge chairs, both a drink in hand. They had clearly spotted you too and were waving you over enthusiastically. You plopped down next to Chan on his lounge chair, eyeing his drink before you decided it was save and stole it from his grip to take a tentative sip, poking your tongue out at him.

“Okay, hello to you, too,” Chan laughed, grabbing his drink back before you could finish it for him. You greeted them both with a hug, surprised at how easy going it was now that you were here. It might have been because Chan and Seungmin weren’t the problem, but you decided not to dwell on it.

“Hi, sorry I’m late, I had to put together this killer outfit,” you explained, pointing at your oversized shirt, a strawberry stitched right in the middle.

“I can tell.” Chan laughed and you lightly punched him in the shoulder at his slander.

“You didn’t miss much, don’t worry,” Seungmin added, his own drink seemingly full and untouched because Seungmin was the responsible one of the group most of the time. “Changbin and Felix have been continuously trying to drown each other for the last hour, we’ve lost count of who’s winning. Minho is somewhere getting shitfaced with some guys from the dance department. Those dudes are so whack I didn’t even dare dwelve further into it.”

You pulled a face in sympathy, agreeing with Seungmin. Minho’s friends were… something else. If he was drinking with them, you wouldn’t be seeing much of him today and it was probably for the better, because they usually didn’t leave it at just drinking and while Minho could be eccentric when sober, high Minho was a lot.

“Jisung?” you asked, trying to spot him.

“Over at the bar with Jeongin.”

“And you let them go together?!” you spluttered because usually both Seungmin and Chan were big on treating Jeongin like a kid you all had to protect simply because he was a little younger than the rest of you.

“I’m not so much worried about Jeongin as I am about Jisung. Or did you forget that one time Jeongin convinced us to let him mix our drinks and you ended up throwing up after one Long Island Ice Tea?”

Thinking back to that evening with a shiver you had to agree with Chan. “I actually don’t remember,” you laughed. “Might be because that devil child mixed everything into that drink except for anything anti-alcoholic. Now I’m worried about Jisung.”

You noticed how neither of them had mentioned Hyunjin. You wanted to ask, but you were actually having a good time, so why ruin it sooner than necessary? Trying to spot Jisung and Jeongin over at the bar you let your eyes drift towards it, but you didn’t get much farther than the pool. You immediately knew why Chan had not said anything about Hyunjin and you really wished your chest wouldn’t feel as if someone had ripped it open. He was in the pool, wearing a white shirt for no apparent reason other than that the way it clung to his skin was surely driving everyone in proximity crazy. His long hair was wet, slicked back in a casual manner that implied he had ran his wet hand through it a lot. The problem wasn’t that he looked good enough to make you forget why you couldn’t be more than friends. The problem was that he wasn’t alone his hand resting lazily on another girl’s waist. Your brain shut down for a moment, unable to take in anything but the way he was touching her bare skin, until she laughed and turned a little more towards you and you unmistakably recognized Chaeyoung. So much for not wanting her.

You couldn’t blame him, heck, you had even tried to set him up, but somehow actually seeing her talk to him as intimately as they were was a whole other thing. He looked so heartbreakingly gorgeous, and you couldn’t deny that Chaeyoung looked good withhim.

You knew you shouldn’t be watching but you couldn’t look away. You always thought Hyunjin was just a naturally touchy person. You always told yourself the way he was with you was nothing special. But you also knew in your heart of hearts that you had always hoped that it was special, that it did mean more. Seeing him with Chaeyoung now though you knew with certainty that the way he usually touched you was nothing. You had clearly never witnessed Hyunjin flirting before.

His hand was constantly in his hair, mussing up the long strands as if he knew exactly how good he looked with a few stray, wet strands in his face, drops of water chasing down the column of his neck. There was a light smile on his face, somewhere between a smirk and a genuinely nice smile, and god, he kept biting his full bottom lip. Chaeyoung was so close to him, Hyunjin’s hand not leaving her hip, and even from a distance you caught the way he was pressing his fingertips into her skin. You knew what it felt like and you couldn’t blame Chaeyoung for subtly inching closer to him. Yeah, you were definitely staring too much.

“Did they come here together?” you asked instead, the nonchalance in your voice a little too strained to be genuine, but the music was loud, people were shouting and just maybe neither Chan nor Seungmin caught it.

“Nope.” Chan let the word hang in the air for a moment, probably savoring that he knew exactly just how much you were dying for him to spill any more information. Seungmin, who was either just nicer or hadn’t caught up on what was going on, was your saving grace.

“Hyunjin came with us and we were waiting for you when Chaeyoung approached him. Asked if he wanted to help her with some game in the poolagainst Momo and San. Actually, that was a pretty smooth move of her because look where it got her. I’ve never seen Hyunjin flirt like that with a girl he just met. With any girl, really.” Neither had you. You had always kept the firm believe that Hyunjin subtly flirted with everyone but compared to what was going on with Chaeyoung right now, he had never flirted with you except that one night when he’d been drunk and wanted to check his bucket list, apparently.

As if Seungmin could read your mind he added, more subdued, “Well except you, but we all know you’re just friends.”

“She’s very pretty. They look good together,” you pressed out, ignoring how difficult it was for you to even say that, even though it was the truth.

You were still staring at them, despite better judgement, so you did not see the exchange between Chan and Seungmin until the latter got up, stating he would get you all new drinks.

“You looked like you needed something strong,” Chan offered up in an empathetic explanation and you rolled your eyes, knowing that with Seungmin gone, of course he would immediately pick up where your earlier text conversation had left off.

“Not because of them.” You denied, before Chan got the opportunity to say anything. “Like I said, they look good together. And anyway, I’m the one who tried to set him up with her. This is what I wanted.”

The words came easier the second time, and if it weren’t for the hollow feeling in your chest you could have even almost believed them. But your gaze stayed glued on the pool, and now Hyunjin was brushing his thumb over her lips and you could tell Chaeyoung was melting.

“You should just tell him, you know. He probably thinks he did something wrong, and I figured I’m not the one to tell him what the actual problem is.”

He was of course referring back to your earlier conversation and about how he was so sure your crush on Hyunjin was back with a vengeance. If only Chan knew what the real problem was, which was so much more complicated than just a crush. But you were not about to disclose that information, now or ever.

“There’s nothing to tell him, Chan. My crush is found dead in a ditch. Abandoned, starved, withered away,” you forced your eyes away from the two, focusing on Chan instead as if that would prove a point. “Feelings for Hyunjin? I don’t know them.”

For a moment Chan only looked at you, with that one specific gaze that your mother had also perfected, and that made you feel all the worst ways of guilty about lying. But you wouldn’t give in, not about this. What would even be the point of admitting that you were crushing on your friend again, if only to make the problem all the more real and imminent. Ignoring it until it went away had worked before and it would work again, and Hyunjin getting awfully close with a very pretty girl would only help.

“You do know that could be you, right?”

Now your head did whip around, making the mistake of looking again and, god, Hyunjin’s face was buried in the crook of her neck but with his wet hair out of his face you caught the way he bit down, tongue darting out a moment after. How Chaeyoung was still standing upright was beyond you. You had been in that situation. For just a few moments this had been you and you were built different, going weak in the knees from just the thought.

But Chan didn’t know that. On surface level what he just said was ridiculous in your eyes, and you were hellbent on conveying that, and that only.

“Now how could that be me?” you questioned, fully ignoring that it had been you a week ago. It had only taken Hyunjin getting drunk and ignoring the fact that he was putting the friendship on the line to give you a taste of what was otherwise unachievable to you. It wasn’t comparable to sober Hyunjin kissing up Chaeyoung’s neck with very clear intentions. “That’s right, it couldn’t be.” You answered your own question before Chan could. “Hyunjin is a friend.”

“Yes, clearly he’s just a friend to you.”

You sighed impatiently, shoulders slumping because everything seemed to always be coming back to this.

“It doesn’t matter what Ifeel,” you disregarded the jab, subliminally admitting to Chan that he had been right, but it didn’t matter because he had known already even without you confirming it. “If it were up to me, then yes, I’d replace myself with Chaeyoung in a heartbeat. But that’s not what Hyunjin wants, since he’s touching her like that, and not me.”

The words sounded as bitter as you felt. Not towards Chaeyoung, who had simply gotten lucky, but towards your whole situation of having this hopeless, stupid crush.

Of course Seungmin chose exactly that moment to resurface from the bar, no doubt having heard at least your last sentence. He wordlessly pressed your cup, filled to the brim with something hopefully strong, in your hand and settled down opposite of you.

“Listen,” he started, and you noticed Chan trying to subtly shake his head and shut Seungmin up, but the boy wasn’t deterred. “I can’t believe you don’t see it. I promised Chan I would stay out of it but you sound miserable. Hyunjin does treat you differently. All the little touches? Yes, he’s a naturally touchy person, but with you it’s softer, it’s- I don’t know, it’s different, and we all can tell.”

Seungmin’s words made your heart ache anew, but you were trying your hardest not to let it show. It didn’t matter what they think they saw, the only thing that mattered were the things Hyunjin said and did, and they spoke volumes to you. “No offense, Seungmin, but all of you are pretty hopeless when it comes to dating so I don’t exactly trust your advice.”

“You’re not wrong-“ Seungmin admitted but raised a finger to stop you from saying anything else and interrupt his speech. “- but my point stands. The way he’s touching Chaeyoung now? We all know what the goal is here, even if the motive confuses me. It’s just not like Hyunjin. But nevermind that, there’s a difference to how he touches you, and it doesn’t say ‘I just want to sleep with you’.”

You huffed, focusing on your drink instead and breaking the eye contact with Seungmin because you didn’t have an answer for him. You didn’t even know what to make of his words. If you thought about it, you always had told yourself that Hyunjin was just touchy, but Seungmin had a point. He was different with you, it was softer, more tentative. But he also had touched you exactly the way he did with Chaeyoung now, so what did that tell you?

He had proven he could get with you, too, and that left you with the same confusion you had felt all along. He had proven he could get with you and tick that off his bucket list. Friends did that, too, of course. You didn’t gain anything from that insight except for the certainty that you had to stop feeling anything other than amicably for him, because he did not reciprocate these feelings in any way.

Panicking slightly, you gripped both your hands onto your solo cup and chugged down a good gulp, coughing as the alcohol washed down your throat. Already raising it to your lips again you caught Chan’s expression, eyebrow raised.

“I know you’re always drinking when you’re trying to avoid something. Are we finally going to talk about this or…?”

“Or!” you grinned, successfully downing the rest of your cup and jumping up in a rush to get a refill.

One cup turned into two cups turned into four cups and you were well into feeling light and much more carefree than you had about an hour ago. You had lost sight of Hyunjin and Chaeyoung, which was quite the feat considering that your eyes couldn’t seem to stay away from them, but somewhere between your third drink and almost being wrestled into the pool by Jisung with all of your clothes on, your mind had stopped keeping track of the two of them.

You weren’t quite sure why you had been so obsessed in the first place when you came here. It was a great party, there was a pool, alcohol, all of your friends were here. So what if Hyunjin was finally hooking up? You had always tried to get him to do that, and hadn’t you told yourself you’d come here precisely to get a distraction as well?

Yeah, maybe you were secretly throwing a little hissy fit because he had texted you he missed you, but he had not even made the time to talk to you since you got here, too busy sucking up on Chaeyoung. He probably hadn’t even noticed you. But you were trying to convince yourself that this was a good thing, this was what you wanted, and with every additional cup you succeeded a bit more.

The sun had stopped burning down quite so mercilessly, but even with sundown the temperatures were high. With the terrace packed with people it was still uncomfortably hot. You weren’t about to jump in a pool at a frat house that was at this point probably as much alcohol as it was water, but you weren’t above settling down on the edge and sticking your legs in to cool down a little.

“You know, usually we throw these parties to see cute girls in tiny bikinis,” a teasing voice piqued up, tone casual and tinged with amusement, telling you that he didn’t mean his words quite so seriously.

“I guess I came to the wrong party, then, but you should have plenty of options,” you pointed out before your gaze fell on the person speaking and your breath got stuck in your chest for just the shortest moment before you caught yourself, relaxing at the edge of the pool. Seonghwa was in swim shorts, long blonde slicked back in wet strands, sunglasses resting on top of them surely solely for effect. He was wearing white sleeveless shirt which he clearly hadn’t bothered taking off before jumping into the pool. With the way it clung to his body and had turned transparent he might as well not be wearing anything, except the thin layer of wet clothing made the whole look so much more delectable. He was fully doing this on purpose, and very much aware of the effect he had. Yeah, he definitely knew he looked good.

“Oh, I wasn’t finished yet.”

You raised an eyebrow in amusement, curious what other line he was about to throw your way.

“I appreciate this get-up,” he lazily waved a finger to indicate he was talking about your oversized shirt hiding your bikini. “Because I do enjoy a good challenge.”

You couldn’t help but burst out laughing at his sleazy comment. The way he delivered it so confidently, as if he truly believed he was the smoothest guy at this whole party was nothing short of hilarious, and it seemed to have been the exact effect he had been going for. He was good.

He knew exactly what to say, when to raise his eyebrow just the slightest bit or when to let his tongue peak out, barely wetting his lips, to push just the right buttons. And it seemed that making you laugh had been exactly the point of his over-the-top comments, because he was wearing a confident grin, chuckling along with you.

“Was that too much?”

You didn’t fail to notice that he was not so subtly inching closer to you, almost close enough to brush your legs tangling in the water with his body.

You playfully dipped your hand into the water, splashing his upper body and shoulders with a few drops of water before you shrugged with a grin of your own.

“You don’t look like someone who struggles with getting a girl out of her shirt, like, at all. I’m not buying it.”

“A shame. Let me try again?” He definitely knew that he already had you hooked, but he still pretended to be making an effort, even though you knew he was mostly doing this to amuse you. This boy really knew how to get what he wanted.

“Sure,” you encouraged him, nodding your head to signal him to go ahead. You didn’t expect him to step up to you, one hand tracing up the outer side of your leg, coming to halt slightly above your knee. He was pushing your legs apart, but so gently that if you didn’t want it you could stop this anytime. But you would’ve lied if you said you weren’t curious how far he was going with this, and his fingertips, wet and cool, felt nice on the warm skin of your thighs. You should have known he wouldn’t stop there, but your breath still hitched when he leant in, strands of his hair falling forward and trickling drops of pool water on your exposed collarbones. His mouth was just close enough to feel his warm breath on your skin but nothing more.

“Wanna take off that shirt and get wet for me?”

And because he wanted to watch the effect he had on you, he didn’t even stay close to let you bask in the feeling of his breath ghosting over your skin. Instead leant back and ran his hand through his wet hair to push the long strands back again.

For a second you were dumbstruck, the words sinking in, before you started laughing even harder than before, noticing the satisfied smirk on his face. You also didn’t fail to notice his hand rising up higher on your thighs, or the way his thumb had started drawing circles on your skin ever since he had stepped closer and didn’t step away again. He was very subtle about it, but at some point between delivering that horrible line and watching your reaction he had eliminated the distance between your bodies, fully standing between your now embarrassingly wide spread legs.

On a whim you raised your hand, running your own fingers through his bleached hair because every time he did it you were itching to do the same. You tugged, just a little to test how he would react, when you reached his lengths. The effect was immediate, his fingers digging into your skin, bottom lip stuck between his teeth to stop the soft moan bubbling over his lips.

“Knew you’d like that one.” His voice was more of a grumble at this point, and you were amazed just how much of an effect a little hair pulling had.

“Actually, it was horrible,” you teased him, a smile playing on your lips while your fingers stayed buried in his hair, toying with the strands and pulling slightly from time to time just to watch him shudder between your legs.

“But it still worked, didn’t it?” he pushed, his fingers inching closer up your inner thigh to indicate what he meant and you didn’t quite manage to suppress the shiver, proving him right. “Were you thinking about fucking me back at the karaoke bar too?”

You didn’t get the chance to come up with a witty reply, because before you could even gather your thoughts you were splashed with such an absurd amount of water it left you drenched from head to toe. Both you and Seonghwa jumped, him pulling away from you and you effectively slipping over the edge of the pool and falling straight into the water with all of your clothes on. You were never happier than in that moment that you had left your bag including your phone with Chan. It didn’t change the fact, however, that you were dripping wet, shirt sticking to your body like a second skin.

“What the actual fuck?!” you sputtered, almost at the same time as Seonghwa, who seemed equally as pissed, both turned towards the person who had decided to jump into the pool right next to you as if they couldn’t tell they were interrupting. Your outrage was joined by the guy who had been responsible for splashing you with water and looked almost more irritated than you. You didn’t know him, but judging by how he was fuming he has clearly not voluntarily jumped in the pool just now. His gaze wasn’t directed at you either, but at someone standing at the edge of the pool. You followed his line of sight, even more confused when you saw it was Hyunjin, drink in one hand and the other one raised in mock defense because the cocky grin on his face told a whole other story.

“What’s your problem, dude?!” the boy burst up and Hyunjin had the audacity to shrug, not even really looking at the other guy, catching your gaze instead.

“Oops, I’m so sorry,” Hyunjin downright drawled, and you would’ve exploded if you wouldn’t have been so confused what on earth had gotten into him. You ignored the huffing of the dude crawling out of the pool, the same way Hyunjin ignored the dirty look he threw him for intentionally pushing him into the pool. It wasn’t like Hyunjin and you were utterly dumbfounded what he was suddenly acting like this, the only indication being the cup in his hand and the clear lilt to his voice, although even drunk he had never been like this before.

“I sure hope I didn’t ruin the mood, you two seemed awfully cozy.”

You had never heard him speak in such a venomous, mean tone. This wasn’t your Hyunjin, because in three years of friendship he had never spoken to you or anyone else with the intention to hurt. He was many things, overly-dramatic, exaggerating and sometimes even extremely petty, but Hyunjin wasn’t cruel. Until now.

You just wanted him to stop talking but he pushed on, ignoring the pained look on your face if he even caught it. He seemed a little too drunk to have any tactfulness.

“Nice of you to show up, by the way. I can tell you missed me by how you’re trying to hop onto his dick.”

His last words were a sneer, head nodding towards Seonghwa, whose presence you felt closely behind you. Your mind immediately jumped back to the conversation during karaoke night, and how Hyunjin had decided that Seonghwa wasn’t worth of your attention, but you hadn’t thought he was quite so serious about this. You were old enough to decide for yourself if you wanted a hook-up, and hadn’t he been the one doing the same thing earlier? And he had not come to talk to you either, even though he allegedly missed you, so it was extremely hypocritical of him to blame you for that. At least you had given him space and freedom with his hook-up, because it simply wasn’t your business and you had no claim on him. You had hoped this party would finally smooth things over between Hyunjin and you after he had invited you and told you he missed you, but if anything it had only torn you more apart. Not because he had snuggled up to Chaeyoung, but because you couldn’t wrap your mind around how hurtful he was behaving towards you right now, without any good reason.

If you didn’t know any better you would have called his behavior jealousy. But you weren’t delusional, and even if it was true there had been many instances where Hyunjin had his chance to make his intentions clear.

He was the one who didn’t remembe he fingered you. You were sure his current words and behavior would eventually cut deep but right at that moment it only filled you with an anger to rival his.

“You’re clearly drunk, Hyunjin. Go home and get sober, and then we can talk about whatever just went down here.”

You tried to keep your voice even and calm despite how riled up this situation had left you. He wouldn’t be saying these things if he were sober, and if for nothing but the sake of your friendship you would give him the courtesy to explain himself when he was sober and had his thoughts together. You wouldn’t, however, let him ruin your night and this party. Seonghwa had clearly been aching for a hook-up and if anything, this fight and a good distraction could only help to move on from Hyunjin. Deciding that nothing good would come from this now you turned to Seonghwa, who was watching the whole exchange with mild interest until now, trying not to look too obviously amused.

“Can I borrow a shirt of yours or something? Seems like I did end up dripping wet after all,” you directed towards him with a cringe and the switch in his face was immediate, going from amusement to focusing his whole attention on you with something much more intense underlying.

“Sure, angel.” He was nodding his head towards the edge of the pool, helping you out of the water, your wet clothes gushing and effectively drenching the whole side of the terrace where you were standing. You wouldn’t have actually cared, but Hyunjin’s whole intention had been to fuck up your evening, and you were determined to go through with this if only out of spite. If Seonghwa caught on, which was hard not to, he clearly didn’t care because he lifted himself out of the pool after you, giving yourself a good eyeful of his arms flexing, water dripping down his back in a way that made you dig your nails into your palm. Stepping up to you and completely ignoring Hyunjin, which was quite the feat because he was glaring daggers at you at this point, Seonghwa wrapped an arm around your waist smoothly as if he had done it many times before.

“Just checking, but we’re going upstairs so I can fuck you, right?”

“God, yes.”

#hyunjin #hyunjin smut #stray kids #stray kids smut #hwang hyunjin

187 notes · View notes