#parents m

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

do you have any tips for subtly looking more masculine? I can’t fully transition now because I’m a minor in a confirmed to be transphobic household, and if you have any suggestions that would be amazing

Lee says:

You can try starting slowly incorporating more masculine-styled women's clothing into your wardrobe. This is usually a gradual process anyway since it can take time to save up enough money to purchase enough new shirts/pants/shoes etc. to fully replace your current wardrobe, especially if you're working part-time as a babysitter, dog-walker, etc.

Clothes that are more structured or straight-cut, like button-down shirts or straight-leg pants, can help create a more traditionally masculine silhouette. Layering with hoodies or jackets can also be effective. You can sometimes find these things styled as "boyfriend" clothes, and you can tell your parents that it's the current trend/style. You can see our post on finding masculine clothing in the women's section here.

Another easy change is dropping the accessories. That means not wearing feminine necklaces/earrings/bracelets/hairbands, not painting your nails, etc. It's easy to say you want to keep things basic and sporty and that's why you're going without the accessories. Wearing a neutral watch or a smart watch is another accessory to consider instead of a thin-strapped "women's watch" if you wear watches at all that is.

You can see our post on purse alternatives here since bags are often the biggest practical change in the accessory category. Not carrying a purse when you hang out with your friends in the mall, go out on a trip, etc is obviously a high-impact change to make.

If possible, choose a haircut that's more typically masculine. Shorter haircuts, or styles that are longer on the top and shorter on the sides, can subtly change your appearance. If you use a female reference for your photo when you show your parents what you want they may not suspect anything. You can see our post on convincing your parents to let you get a haircut without coming out here.

If a haircut isn’t possible, consider styles like pulling your hair back in a low bun or wearing hats. If you're Black, cornrows, box braids, and locs are styles that can be gender neutral depending on how you wear them. There's a few links on that here.

There are also things you can do to come across as subtly more masculine without buying anything at all.

Sometimes, adopting a more traditionally masculine posture and body language can make a difference. This doesn't usually have a big impact on passing, but it can help you feel better about yourself and boost your self-confidence and reduce dysphoria, and it's something that your family may not notice because it's easy to alter when you're with them. You can see a post about masculine body language here.

Similarly, you can try voice training and practice speaking in a slightly lower tone or in a more monotone style, which is often perceived as more masculine. Be careful not to strain your voice, though, and maybe avoid doing it while you're with your family. You can see a post about voice training here.

Engaging in exercises that build upper body strength can also help in achieving a more masculine physique. Focus on workouts that target the shoulders, back, and arms. You can often do body weight workouts at home in your room without needing a gym membership or specialized exercise equipment.

Find a support system, whether it's friends, online communities, or a counselor/therapist, who understand and support your gender identity. This can provide a safe space to express yourself and explore your identity. It can help to have other friends who are also masculine to feel like you're not isolated.

Observing and adopting some masculine behavioral cues, like how men typically occupy space or interact in social settings, can also be a subtle way to express masculinity, but you want to be careful that you're not imitating toxic masculinity / obnoxious guys. Similarly, engaging in hobbies or interests that are stereotypically masculine can be a subtle way to align with male peers, but always choose activities that genuinely interest you and you can probably find other guys out there who are also interested in the things you already care about to be friends.

The above suggestions are all things that you can do without your parents necessarily noticing. Binding is something that may not be subtle depending on your chest size, so while it is possible to sometimes bind in front of family without them noticing (saying it's a sports bra, for example) I would recommend keeping your binder in your backpack and only changing into it at school in the bathroom / at a friend's house / in a public bathroom when you're out with friends but not family, etc. unless you really are wearing only a single well-fitting sports bra. You can see more about buying a binder and that whole process in this post.

It's harder to be seen as masculine or male when you're pre-medical transition and not passing which means people often have to "overcompensate" by being more masculine than they would otherwise choose to be, but as always, I'd like to note that it can be possible to pass as male / be masculine while doing any of the things I recommended changing!

So while I might advise someone who wants to come off as more masculine "don't paint your nails" for example, that is a general rule and doesn't mean that you have to follow those guidelines if you're really passionate about painting your nails. You can always choose whatever gender expression you're comfortable with. There are plenty of guys who wear nail polish and otherwise come across as masculine or who are recognized as men. It's important to remember that masculinity is diverse and there's no one right way to be masculine.

Followers, any other tips on performing subtle masculinity that won't make transphobic parents suspicious?

#Lee says #closeted #masculinity #parents m #unsupportive family m

[transgooglesearches]

How to convince mom to let you get actual boxer briefs, and NOT boyshorts 

#submission #transmasculine #nonbinary #transphobia / #dysphoria / #parents m

[west-brooke]

Part 5.

Meet Lord Knaw (pronounced like Gnaw), and Ralph’s biological father. He’s just joking….yeah.

Since Alligator Snapping turtles often grow to be the biggest predator in bodies of water they’re introduced to outside of their natural range, he’s considered a pretty big deal where he’s from (a pond a few miles outside of New York). I’m sure he hasn’t let it go to his head.

#rottmnt #rottmnt art #rottmnt oc #rottmnt comic #rottmnt au #rise of the teenage m​utant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #donnie rottmnt #raph rottmnt #meet the parents au #meet the parents #tmnt

[finleycannotdraw]

Addition to the No Place Like Home universe!

Look at what love did / changed, somehow

Bowerbird by molly ofgeography is basically the anthem of this AU, guys. Should I make a playlist? I’m going to make a playlist.

Realized halfway through drawing this that I’ve been drawing Sean incorrectly but honestly? whatever. He can have scruffy hair as a treat. I’m not going to spend more time on the lighting or color corrections of this because I’m on vacation✨

in other news, I’m STILL GOING UTTERLY INSANE ABOUT THESE GUYS,,, and I wanted something soft,,, (I don’t know how old Sean and Kevin are, or if they’d share a room, or if they’d still ask someone to check for monsters, but please suspend whatever disbelief and/or expectations you might have, because I am here with fluff)

love to everyone following this comic!!! y’all are the best. <3

#no place like home #loki #lokius #loki laufeyson #mobius m mobius #kevin loki #sean loki #loki series #loki season 2 #loki fanart #fan comic #my art #i had so much fun drawing loki in a tight red turtleneck. mobius absolutely got it for him #yes loki is telling the thor wedding myth #I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT LOKI BEING A PARENT

[ryllen]

I wanted to reblog that one text post that said imagine waking up to sebek and his hair is down and he is looking so handsome just like his newest appearance on book 7

and i just bumped to this video and was like "Ffshds what if he SURPrisINGLY wa kes up EXA CT LY like thi s fsjdsd? ? "

#SKRUNCKLES CAT #twisted wonderland #twst #sebek zigvolt #twst yuu #twst mc #fanart #best hairstyling is done by ur pillow when u sleep with semi dry hair #one time i woke up with totally anime hair look #forehead stroke is actually pretty calming yea #the one that goes straight up to ur head especially if the hand that's stroking is big #my parents used to do it sometimes #he would definitely loves some forehead stroke #once he let u do it #that cat face and standing fur is so hi m i can't #also ay that text post is gone #i think i read another post of tags being broken #so maybe it was planned to be repost some time later actually

[aronarchy]

Why we don’t like it when children hit us back

To all the children who have ever been told to “respect” someone that hated them.

March 21, 2023

Even those of us that are disturbed by the thought of how widespread corporal punishment still is in all ranks of society are uncomfortable at the idea of a child defending themself using violence against their oppressors and abusers. A child who hits back proves that the adults “were right all along,” that their violence was justified. Even as they would cheer an adult victim for defending themself fiercely.

Even those “child rights advocates” imagine the right child victim as one who takes it without ever stopping to love “its” owners. Tear-stained and afraid, the child is too innocent to be hit in a guilt-free manner. No one likes to imagine the Brat as Victim—the child who does, according to adultist logic, deserve being hit, because they follow their desires, because they walk the world with their head high, because they talk back, because they are loud, because they are unapologetically here, and resistant to being cast in the role of guest of a world that is just not made for them.

If we are against corporal punishment, the brat is our gotcha, the proof that it is actually not that much of an injustice. The brat unsettles us, so much that the “bad seed” is a stock character in horror, a genre that is much permeated by the adult gaze (defined as “the way children are viewed, represented and portrayed by adults; and finally society’s conception of children and the way this is perpetuated within institutions, and inherent in all interactions with children”), where the adult fear for the subversion of the structures that keep children under control is very much represented.

It might be very well true that the Brat has something unnatural and sinister about them in this world, as they are at constant war with everything that has ever been created, since everything that has been created has been built with the purpose of subjugating them. This is why it feels unnatural to watch a child hitting back instead of cowering. We feel like it’s not right. We feel like history is staring back at us, and all the horror we felt at any rebel and wayward child who has ever lived, we are feeling right now for that reject of the construct of “childhood innocence.” The child who hits back is at such clash with our construction of childhood because we defined violence in all of its forms as the province of the adult, especially the adult in authority.

The adult has an explicit sanction by the state to do violence to the child, while the child has both a social and legal prohibition to even think of defending themself with their fists. Legislation such as “parent-child tort immunity” makes this clear. The adult’s designed place is as the one who hits, and has a right and even an encouragement to do so, the one who acts, as the person. The child’s designed place is as the one who gets hit, and has an obligation to accept that, as the one who suffers acts, as the object. When a child forcibly breaks out of their place, they are reversing the supposed “natural order” in a radical way.

This is why, for the youth liberationist, there should be nothing more beautiful to witness that the child who snaps. We have an unique horror for parricide, and a terrible indifference at the 450 children murdered every year by their parents in just the USA, without even mentioning all the indirect suicides caused by parental abuse. As a Psychology Today article about so-called “parricide” puts it:

Unlike adults who kill their parents, teenagers become parricide offenders when conditions in the home are intolerable but their alternatives are limited. Unlike adults, kids cannot simply leave. The law has made it a crime for young people to run away. Juveniles who commit parricide usually do consider running away, but many do not know any place where they can seek refuge. Those who do run are generally picked up and returned home, or go back on their own: Surviving on the streets is hardly a realistic alternative for youths with meager financial resources, limited education, and few skills.

By far, the severely abused child is the most frequently encountered type of offender. According to Paul Mones, a Los Angeles attorney who specializes in defending adolescent parricide offenders, more than 90 percent have been abused by their parents. In-depth portraits of such youths have frequently shown that they killed because they could no longer tolerate conditions at home. These children were psychologically abused by one or both parents and often suffered physical, sexual, and verbal abuse as well—and witnessed it given to others in the household. They did not typically have histories of severe mental illness or of serious and extensive delinquent behavior. They were not criminally sophisticated. For them, the killings represented an act of desperation—the only way out of a family situation they could no longer endure.

- Heide, Why Kids Kill Parents, 1992.

Despite these being the most frequent conditions of “parricide,” it still brings unique disgust to think about it for most people. The sympathy extended to murdering parents is never extended even to the most desperate child, who chose to kill to not be killed. They chose to stop enduring silently, and that was their greatest crime; that is the crime of the child who hits back. Hell, children aren’t even supposed to talk back. They are not supposed to be anything but grateful for the miserable pieces of space that adults carve out in a world hostile to children for them to live following adult rules. It isn’t rare for children to notice the adult monopoly on violence and force when they interact with figures like teachers, and the way they use words like “respect.” In fact, this social dynamic has been noticed quite often:

Sometimes people use “respect” to mean “treating someone like a person” and sometimes they use “respect” to mean “treating someone like an authority” and sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say “if you won’t respect me I won’t respect you” and they mean “if you won’t treat me like an authority I won’t treat you like a person” and they think they’re being fair but they aren’t, and it’s not okay.

(https://soycrates.tumblr.com/post/115633137923/stimmyabby-sometimes-people-use-respect-to-mean)

But it has received almost no condemnation in the public eye. No voices have raised to contrast the adult monopoly on violence towards child bodies and child minds. No voices have raised to praise the child who hits back. Because they do deserve praise. Because the child who sets their foot down and says this belongs to me, even when it’s something like their own body that they are claiming, is committing one of the most serious crimes against adult society, who wants them dispossessed.

Sources:

“The Adult Gaze: a tool of control and oppression,” https://livingwithoutschool.com/2021/07/29/the-adult-gaze-a-tool-of-control-and-oppression

“Filicide,” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filicide

#repost of someone else’s content #medium repost #Alba M. #purity culture #ageism #adultism #youth oppression #childism #child abuse #parental abuse #youth rights #youthlib #youth liberation #parricide #nuclear family abolition #anarchism #note: I would consider reevaluating the demonization of adults who kill their parents too #many victims remain entrapped well into adulthood #there are still a lot of issues of economic dependency and control especially for young adults #and I don’t think such a totalizing power imbalance engendered in childhood is so easily levelled #even if an adult does become financially independent #likewise for adult victims of intimate partner abuse: also structurally made difficult for them to leave #even if not criminalized to the same degree #anti-abuser aktion

[ibenology]

saw someone on twitter joke about the fact that since Loki is a tree now Mobius should be a squirrel and it’s just.. you know that could work right??

In norse mythology there is a squirrel named Ratatosk that is one of the few entities living in the tree of Yggdrasil that is also able to jump between the branches and move around. He mostly uses this ability to pick up gossip and talk hot tea with the other creatures so that they will hate each other.

So yeah. A creature able to jump around different branches of the timeline? Spiritually bound to the tree of life? A bit mischievous and love to talk trash? Mobius is Ratatosk there is no two ways about it

#loki #loki series #mobius #mobius m mobius #lokius #loki x mobius #yggdrasil #norse mythology #ratatosk #also pronounced Ratatoskr in some places!! #I just love being able to talk about norse mythology #the extensive knowledge my parents gave me is finally paying off

[transmascutena]

thinking today about utena's snake plushie from episode 2. they were so wrong for sticking it in her closet and never showing it again, she sleeps with that thing every night i know this in my heart.

emotional support silly snake.............

#actually my headcanon is that it's from her childhood before her parents died so she keeps it tucked away most of the time #to not be reminded. but she loves it and couldn't bring herself to leave it behind entirely when she came to ohtori #revolutionary girl utena #fanart #utena #my art #m

[branzinos]

LISA ANN WALTER + ELAINE HENDRIX

📺 Ancestry.com unFamiliar (18 Sept 2023) (x)

#lisa.gif #branzino.gif #lisa ann walter #elaine hendrix #the parent trap #its the fact this is shot like a fucking romcom #m!lfsource

[scintillyyy]

can you really talk about tim's tendency to idolize and place dick on a pedestal and his semi-entitlement to understanding dick without also talking about dick's tendency to project his own feelings and insecurities onto tim and also his semi-entitlement to his right to try and micromanage how tim should feel and react about things. i, personally, cannot.

#dick and tim #anyways trust me when i say that none of this is meant in a negative way because this is what i Like about them lmao #forever thinking of the M/F fight where dick expects that tim will go alone with his line of thinking just because he says so #and is shocked when tim doesn't and instead has his own thoughts and feelings abt the matter #and babs has to tell him that tim isn't him & had a fundamentally different experience to him #it's like hmmm very realistic to me #the way they do this to each other in a way that almost is depersonalizing but like isn't actually #it's more just that they understand each other so well most of the time that it's easy to forget that they're their own person #with their own thoughts and feelings #like hm. there is something very realistically siblings about it in that #older siblings do tend to try and dominate the relationship with their thoughts and feelings because #their first memories are of being expected to lead their sibling and the sibling usually comes at a time when the older sib is v possessive #so the older sibling conceives the younger sibling as belonging to them and being kind of a hm extension of them vs their own person #meanwhile the younger sibling has no knowledge of a life where the older sibling doesn't exist #and the younger sibling's experience is that of observation of the older sibling from basically the very first day of life #so the younger sibling will often see and perceive the older sibling in very interesting ways #they're always learning something with thay observation good or bad #and thus probably develop more instrinsic understanding than even the parents do #and conflict comes because each is their own person but it's hard to see them that way sometimes #anyways there's also another thread where for dick it's hard to conceptualize tim's family of origin as real compared to them #but that's like mainly headcanon just know i'm right and it's interesting

[pistachorlito]

Just saw this post about Mobius's kids seeing Loki in his Asgardian attire and now I can't stop thinking about them meeting loki and being like

Kids: “Are you a girl or a boy?”

Loki: “I'm a god. God of mischief and stories.”

Kids: “OUR STEP-PARENT IS THE GOD OF MISCHIEF AND STORIES?????”

Mobius: “I think it's a little early to call-”

Loki: “Yeah and also I can turn into a snake, wanna see?”

#THEY WOULD LOVE HIM COMPLETELY #they'd be DELIGHTED #to have him as their step parent #and that's really wholesome #except for Mobius #he will be so tired #loki #lokius #mobius #loki x mobius #marvel #mobius m mobius #wowki #loki spoilers #genderfluid #genderfluid loki

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

What do I do if I really want a binder but my parents won't let me get one? Is there any strategy?

Lee says:

These two posts might help:

Asking parents for a binder

How to buy a binder without parents knowing.

#Lee says #getting a binder #binding #parents m

[milimeters-morales]

another reason why Hobie can’t stand Miguel’s ass

#miles morales #spiderman #spider man #hobie brown #spider punk #spiderpunk #miguel o’hara #spiderman 2099 #spider man 2099 #across the spider verse #across the spiderverse #atsv #spiderman atsv #m&m posts #shit does that count as spoilers? probably ffs i’ll put it at the end of the tags #spoilers mentioned -> #i originally was gonna do gwen being dragged into the fight but there were issues #bc if you replaced miles with hobie it wouldn’t make sense seeing as his parents aren’t in his life #even if he let her stay with him for some months

[light-of-the-two-trees]

It is possible according to canon that Elrond and Elros were names given by Maedhros and Maglor based on where they found the twins; the names they were given by Elwing and Earendil are probably lost and forgotten. So consider:

Elrond meets Elwing in post-Fourth-Age Valinor. She calls him by the name she gave him, and he does not respond to it, for he has forgotten that name.

#guys much as I love kidnap fam I do hate that what the feanorians did TO elrond and elros is erased sometimes #elrond was basically a father to all of middle earth. he has room to love as many parents and relatives as you can imagine okay #and the same way his relationship with earendil and elwing can be read as complex his relationship with m+m can be read so too imo #and a name lost due to maedhros and maglor can definitely play into that. they kept their lives but lost their names. is this anything #anyway #elrond #elros #elwing #meta #the silmarillion #silm #legendarium tag #and it was not void #no discourse please let there be no discourse here hoping praying

[henfox]

FIRSTPRINCE AU: The Kissing Chamber (or, Marco x Elliott) "all you can do is love them... and make sure they know that you're never gonna slip away."

#firstprince au #marco would break him out the annex <3 #and maybe kill elliotts terrible parents idk idk #chambers #tkbedit #chambersedit #marco pena #elliott lefevre #elliott x marco #tzpedit #ngalitzineedit #marriott #i blame twitter!!!!! they would be cute idc #red white and royal blue #m* #tkb* #chambers* #i have no clue abt tkb x

[scaredsofmyguitar]

Natasha Richardson as Elizabeth James in The Parent Trap (1998)

#disneyedit #the parent trap #dailywomen #filmtvcentral #tvfilmsource #tvfilmspot #m!lfsource #usersawah #usercharisse #useralison #usernums #userleahrose #tusernath #userhannah #usermorgan #userpegs #tuserheidi #usergiuliana #elizabeth james #mine*