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#people turn their heads and gape like it's illegal when they hear age difference and i think yall getting a little too comfy with judging

peters-starks · 5 years

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NUMBER NEIGHBOUR

Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: when texting your number neighbour you got more than you bargained for.

Word Count: 4,059

Masterlist

The recent trend on Twitter of people texting their “number neighbour” the person who has the same phone number as them but with one number difference had become really popular in the past few days, so much so even the majority of your friends had now done it. So, when you were having a chill night in with two of your friends and they tried to persuade you to text your number neighbours you really weren’t surprised.

“Guys I’m not going to do it what if it’s some weirdo and they probably won’t even reply so it’ll be pointless” you chucked and shook your head.

“Come onnnn this movie is so boring and we’ve both already spoken to our neighbours so it’s your turn!” Your best friend, Merise, wasn’t wrong, this movie was like a YouTube comedy remake of an actual horror movie and frankly the acting was beyond awful.

“What happened to typical fun games like truth or dare” you yelped as your other friend, Amara, threw a pillow at you

“Just do it” they groaned at you going to reach for another pillow making you put your arms over you in defence whilst laughing

“Okay okay! I guess I have no dignity left to lose!”

All your friends gathered around your phone as you typed in your phone number and changed the last number at the end and selected the message option. You typed out a simple “hi” and then clicked send.

“Hi? Hi! That’s so boring” Amara groaned and Merise pinched her side

“What else were they gonna say?”

You shook your head at your overly energetic friends and stared at your screen for a moment longer with nothing happening. “I told you there would be no resp-”your words were cut short by a notification noise coming through and Merise grabbed your phone laughing.

UNKNOWN: hi? Who is this?

You groaned and watched as Merise tapped away and the sound of a message being sent shortly followed.

Y: I’m your number neighbour! Have you seen the trend online?

Your eyes widened at this. “OMG what if they’re like 90 years old? Or like 8? If they’re like underage isn’t this illegal I mean” you typed as you rambled your friends watching you in amusement.

Y: unless you’re like not online which is super fine and if you’re like really young then ignore this aha :)

“Honestly I don’t understand how your level of awkwardness can project through a screen that hard like I’m getting awkward radiation poisoning from this” Amara gaped at you making Merise chuckle and mumble something in agreement along the lines of ‘it’s not that deep’.

~|~

Peter was perched on his favourite rooftop taking a break to view the New York skyline at night, this being one of the reasons he loved patrolling in the evenings as nowhere else could you see this view. His phone vibrating caught his attention and he assumed it was Aunt May asking when he would be home as she was probably fretting about him swinging across the city, still not completely loving his new role but all the same supporting him to an endless amount.

Peter’s eyebrows furrowed when he saw an unknown number on his phone screen and swiped to open the message seeing a simple “hi”. The number looked vaguely familiar but at this point Peter was far too tired to place it. He replied cautiously and waited for the mystery person to answer him.

When his phone vibrated again he was mildly surprised by the two messages. His number neighbour! Peter secretly loved that trend online much to MJ’s dismay as she found it ‘pointless’ and had sent her number neighbour links to government conspiracies when they had text her to which she had no reply. Peter thought she just didn’t like the trend because she was upset she didn’t make a new conspiracy friend.

P: ohhhh, of course I know, hey neighbour! And don’t worry I’m not really young

P: well that depends what you class as really young, 13 is pretty old right?

P: lol kidding

Peter face palmed himself at that, god he was such a dork.

Y: Idk 13 is quite young when you’re 65

Y: I’m not actually 65 tho don’t worry

Y: how old actually are you tho lol

Peter smiled slightly sensing your mild anxiety at texting a stranger and honestly it was most the reason he hadn’t done it yet because knowing his luck he’d message a child and have some very unhappy parents at his door.

P: I’m 18 wbu

Y: snap!

P: thank god! Are you from New York?

Y: yup lived here for a couple of years now, I take it you are too?

P: Queens

Your two friends squealed as you found out this stranger lived surprising close to your apartment.

“Ask them their name! We might know them considering they’re so close” Merise squealed slightly. Honestly you just thought she was like a puppy who was excited to meet new people.

Y: so neighbour what’s your name if you don’t mind me asking?

Peter hesitated at this for a second as even though his identity was hidden, only those the very closest to him knowing him as Spider-Man, giving his name to someone over text who literally could be anyone seemed risky. However, he doubted that any random government agent or evil bad guy would know of number neighbours or be able to joke around so easily.

P: Peter, what’s yours?

Y: Hi Peter from Queens, I’m y/n.

Amara braced herself for Merise’s literal yell at finding out the person you were texting was not only the same age and from nearby but also A BOY.

“I BET he’s cute, he seems nice over text and dorky so he’s gotta be cute ugh” Merise winked at you after her small speech and you simply rolled your eyes.

“I’m sure he is, if he’s who he says he is” you started staring at your screen waiting for his reply. Time passed and after 40 minutes you gave up on checking your phone screen every 10 minutes waiting for Peter to answer you. He probably got bored of texting a stranger which you wouldn’t blame him. The internet came up with weird trends.

Just as you let your friends out as it was way past the time they were supposed to leave as you had school the next day, your phone had another text notification.

P: hi y/n :)

You smiled faintly at this because Merise was kind of right, Peter sounds like a bit of a dork.

Y: do you go to school in New York?

Y: that’s if you’re in school aha

P: yea I go to Midtown actually

Your eyes widened slightly as that was Amara’s school whilst you and Merise went to one a couple miles away from Midtown.

Y: no way! My friend goes there. You must be pretty smart. I go to the next school over.

P: nice! Guess we really aren’t too far away then.

A few hours passed and you and Peter were still texting back and forth, knowing you both really should be asleep but the conversation flowed so well that time passed without any realisation. Which you both paid for when school started the next day.

Y: I.am.so.tired.

P: I literally slept through 3 alarms and coffee isn’t working. Help.

Y: at least you don’t have a bio test today I’m honestly screwed.

P: if you need bio help I’m actually kind of a nerd with that stuff. Text me the questions secretly ;)

Y: oh yea totally not noticeable.

You smiled and rolled your eyes at Peters texts catching Merise’s attention. “Still texting Queens boy, are we?” She nudged your shoulder and winked at you.

“Maybe I am” you tried to answer with a straight face but honestly it was difficult.

Throughout the day, you and Peter exchanged small texts here and there, both your friends seemed to notice you being glued to your phones more than usual.

When school ended, you went home and tried to get your school work done but honestly nothing was going in so you opted for aimless scrolling for a while. The top of your newsfeed was an alert of Spider-Man ending yet another Robbery only a few blocks away from your apartment which usually you took no notice of but it was the bank your parents used so it caught your attention more than usual.

Y: yknow I think I’m going to need that study help, literally everything is distracting me. Including bank robberies! Not even Spider-Man can save my grades this semester.

P: you never know, Spider-Man is probably pretty good at bio.

Peter laughed at himself, inside jokes about his identity really were the only enjoyable part about hiding himself from the people around him. He was sat back on the rooftop from last night trying to rest up his side as he took a pretty hard blow from one of the robbers and certainly has a bruise. He remembered Ned saying a solution to help bruising the other day and decided to ask him and without looking dialled.

“Hello?”

Ok. So that isn’t Ned.

“Peter is that you...”

When you saw peter was ringing you it confused you but you did ask him for study tips so maybe he was saving your ass via phone call.

Peter froze when he heard your voice, checking his phone and seeing “y/n” on the screen. God, he must’ve selected your contact instead of Neds since he was thinking about you.

“Oh um hi sorry I meant to phone my friend about some bruise stopping thing but I must’ve called you by mistake”

“Bruise stopper?” You cocked your head in confusion. “Do I even want to know” you chucked slightly. Hearing Peters actual voice was kind of weird but as much as you hated to admit it even his voice sounded cute to you.

“Ah um I kind of ran into a wall aha yea like super hard” Peter literally wanted to dive bomb off the roof top, god his awkward rambles always revealed too much. And a wall?? Who’s going to believe that.

“Right a wall... clumsy I take it”

“Yeah you could say that” peter laughed lightly.

“Well don’t ask how I know this but cold compress it on and off and apply Arnica gel a few times a day and Aloe if you want to be extra careful”

Peter raised his eyebrows in surprise a thought going through his head that you weren’t some secret vigilantly too or worse maybe some villain. “I won’t ask don’t worry but um thank you”

You smiled gently “you’re welcome Peter from Queens”

“Well i guess if you’re curing my bruising you can call me Peter Parker instead of Peter from Queens”

“Well Peter Parker, y/n y/l/n”

Peter smiled more until his cheeks hurt under his mask as you carried on speaking to each other, hearing your voice somehow made you more real to Peter and speaking to you was relaxing. You didn’t know him as Peter Parker quiet nerd from Midtown or as the rookie avenger that kind of went to space and saved the world but also helps old ladies cross the road. You knew him as Peter, number neighbour and hopefully at this point friend. Getting to know someone new was really a breath of fresh air.

It was getting late again and honestly you don’t think you can go another day of school with next to no sleep no matter how much you loved speaking to Peter. And so you and peter began to say your goodnights.

“It was really nice speaking to you today Peter, like actually speaking to you”

“Yea it was really nice speaking to you too... maybe we can do it again sometime?”

“You can call me whenever, especially if you are gonna help me with studying orrr if you need anymore bruises to heal” you smiled as you spoke, the tiredness etching into your body slowly. “Well, goodnight Peter Parker”

“Goodnight y/n”

Over the next two weeks you and Peter spoke every single day, most the time through texts and mainly through meme’s as well as evening phone calls. Sometimes Peter would have to leave the call abruptly with weird excuses which made you suspicious, Merise said it’s probably a girlfriend he doesn’t want you to know about but Amara shut that down saying that she doubts it. Amara also went to midtown with Peter but had no classes with him and barely knew his face, she said her friend said he was probably the guy with the Stark internship. When you asked Peter about the internship he got nervous and stuttered a lot which confused you but you convinced yourself it was because there was lots of Top Secret Avengers stuff he had to be careful with.

“I’m so jealous you get to work with the avengers y’know? I’ve always loved those guys, like how cool would it be to have some kind of power and be able to save people?” You gushed to Peter one evening which honestly made him blush a bit. You were a bit of a superhero nerd too.

“Yea it must be pretty cool” Peter tried to keep the tone in his voice even but Karen quickly informed him that his voice indicated excitement and anxiety.

“Have you met many avengers? Have you met Thor? He’s a literal god I mean even meeting Tony Stark alone must have been amazing I’ve always found him so interesting like he’s was so clever and he saved us all like literally! Oh god and SPIDER-MAN he’s just so cool because he’s like our thing you know? Like a New York special hero” you were also blushing as you spoke realising you were fully geeking out to a guy you’d never even met and he probably thought you were a total avengers fan girl.

“Yea Spider-Man is pretty cool, Thor is awesome though! The dude is massive! And Mr Stark was just a great guy y’know? I kinda owe him everything” Peters heart dropped a bit at mentioning Tony but talking about him kept his memory alive in Peter’s eyes, and that’s the least he could do for him.

“Right yea, sorry I didn’t even think, I’m so sorry for your loss, he was such a great man” you cringed at yourself for not thinking. Of course Peter would’ve been affected by losing Tony.

“No no it’s okay, I mean you and me wouldn’t be here without what he did so we all owe him one, it’s good to acknowledge it, bet it feeds his ego a bit really” Peter laughed a bit trying to lighten the mood and make you feel less bad. You had both previously spoken about the Snap as both of you had disappeared for those 5 years and late night discussions had run into the early mornings as you had heart to hearts about its tolls on you both. You both found it so easy to talk to each other it was like you’d known each other for years even though you’ve never even seen each other face to face before, both being too awkward to even suggest meeting.

-|-

You knew it was a bad idea to walk home alone so late, but the extra studying was highly needed as Peter couldn’t make your evening phone call to help you study your math quiz tomorrow and if you failed it one more time you were in serious trouble. The lampposts illuminated just enough of the street for you to feel safe-ish but speed walking was definitely needed.

You were only a block away from your apartment when you got that feeling. It was deep in your gut and it made you shiver. Something was wrong and you couldn’t put a finger on what it was. You turned your head slightly to look around you and at a first glance you saw nothing however a shadow moving in one of the alley ways made your hair on your arms stand up. This was a big nope.

You grabbed your phone and kept it close to you ready to call for help as footsteps started coming behind you. However as a rough hand grabbed your shoulder pulling your whole body backwards with a tell your phone was knocked out your hand, tumbling towards the ground like your hope of getting through this.

Your eyes closed in terror as a small object was pushed against your back. Who knew studying would literally be the death of you.

“What’s in the bag” the voice was rough and desperate causing you to hold your breath. “Give me the bag”

You turned slowly, hands up and faced the man, his face was covered by some makeshift white mask and a black beanie covered his hair, the small black handgun being pointed at you was shaking slightly in his gloved hands.

You slowly moved your backpack off your shoulders and moved it in front of you, dropping it to the ground and using you foot to push it towards the masked man. Just as the man moved to pick it up a blue and red blur zoomed past you eyes, knocking the man to the wall and his gun became stuck to it by some webbed material. Webbed material. SPIDER-MAN.

“Hey I don’t think that belongs to you” the voice spoke sounding weirdly altered.

The robber attempted to swing at the spandex covered hero but missed as Spider-Man ducked and then proceeded to pull him back with webbing as he tried to flee.

“You know I think an apology would be in order for this” the robber simply muttered a “fuck you” under his breath to which Spider-Man tutted and webbed the guy to the wall before whispering inform the authorities and turning to you.

“Um hey sorry about this, are you okay miss..” the hero was shorter than you thought standing taller than you but not by a huge amount and his posture seemed almost awkward as he scratched the back of his head waiting for your reply.

“Oh um y/n” you whispered, trying your best to process your brush with death and also not crying in front of your favourite hero.

At the mention of your name the eyes of Spider-Man widened and he seemed to freeze. Peter was shocked. Y/n? As in his y/n? Your voice sounded the same but surely not and he almost hoped not considered what just happened, what if he didn’t get here on time? Oh god I mean he thought you were pretty but this pretty? And everything that just happened you must be so terrified and right before your math quiz...

You saw the hero frozen in place and became instantly confused. “Um... are you okay?” At this he seemed to snap out of it and laughed slightly.

“I think that’s my line you know” Peter once again realised he fucked up as his voice changer was no longer on, Karen must disabled it when Peter froze and he bet she did it on purpose knowing full well who you are.

When Spider-Man spoke your eyebrows furrowed because that voice sounded oh so familiar but you could only place it to one person.

“Right yea um I’m okay I should probably get home I have school tomorrow” you nervously nodded hoping he would say something else so you could confirm it.

“Of course yea um, is it okay if I walk you home? Just to make sure you’re safe?” Peter knew there was no turning back, you’d either figure it out or you wouldn’t and there was no way he was going to let you carry on walking home alone after this.

“Um... that’d be nice actually, thank you”

On the walk home not much was said, Peter tried not to say something accidentally and completely reveal himself whilst you were wrapped up in thinking about what just happened to you and the fact not only was Spider-Man walking you home but you’re pretty sure he is your mystery friend Peter Parker.

When you arrived at your apartment you thanked the Webster and watched him swing off into the New York skyline and then took your phone out and dialled the only number you could think of.

“Hello? Everything okay?” Peter sounded out of breath which was very convenient and he also sounded worried which if you weren’t already so suspicious you wouldn’t take note of.

“You’re not going to believe the evening I’ve had” you went on to explain your half robbery slash attack and Spider-Man’s dramatic entrance and you have to admit Peter is a good actor, although his concern for your emotional well-being seemed to consume his efforts in hiding his fake shock at Spider-Man turning up.

“Yea it was so weird like I’m totally okay but I can’t figure out what’s the strangest thing, being saved from a robbery by Spider-Man or finding out Spider-Man is my number neighbour you know” you bit your lip with anticipation as you spoke.

“Well yea u mean it sounds like a strange nigh- wait what” God Peter was so stupid of course you knew! He would recognise your voice anywhere so why wouldn’t you recognise his? “I’m-I’m not Spider-Man I m-mean that’s ridiculous” and he stuttered. Good job Peter.

“Yea I mean Stark internship? Knowing the avengers and Spider-Man and you sharing a voice is a lot of coincidence huh? It was nice to finally meet you Peter” you didn’t sound offended or angry from what Peter could tell you actually sounded humoured which made him breathe a sigh of relief.

“Go to your roof top” and with that the line went dead.

Five minutes later you were stood on the rooftop of your apartment complex, glad the door was old and easily pushed open. The hoodie you threw on barely kept you warm from the winds that bashed around you but that was all forgotten as Spider-Man , Peter , landed on the roof next to you.

“Hey” you smiled and nervously tucked some hair behind your ear as he got closer.

“Um hi” Peter said, approaching you slowly whilst being kind of unsure.

“I know your identity is a big thing and I promise I won’t tell anyone about this but I couldn’t pretend I didn’t know and I mean it’s pretty cool but also awkward because I can’t BELIEVE you let me geek out about the avengers and YOURSELF to you for ages and didn’t say ANYTHING I mean wha-“ you were cut short by Peters body colliding with yours in a kind of awkward but sweet hug. He smelt really good.

When he pulled away you cleared your throat and muttered a sorry. Peter only laughed and lifted his hands up to take his mask off. Underneath he was a lot cuter than you expected, honestly you had to hold in a gasp. His brown hair was floppy and curly, slightly messy from the mask, and his jawline was sharp framing his face and his brown eyes honestly were breath-taking as cliché as it sounds.

“It’s nice to finally meet you too” Peter said playing with his fingers nervously “you um you’re prettier than I thought wait not that I thought you wouldn’t be pretty but I mean you’re just wow like super pre-“ this time peter was interrupted as your arms wrapped around his neck and you kissed him on the cheek.

“Thank you. For um saving my life earlier and all, who knew Spider-Man could not only save my life but also save my grades by helping me study” you both chucked at that.

For the rest of the evening you sat on the roof top and enjoyed finally being around each other. The conversation was a lot easier in person, mostly because of the flirty body language and the fact Peters eyes told such a story. By the end you were nearly asleep on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around your torso to help keep you warm and you both silently enjoyed watching the New York skyline at night. Peter had found a new favourite roof top.

++++++++++++++

OKAY SO my first one shot on this account because the most stupid things inspire me, including twitter trends. i hope you like it as i wasn’t too sure with this one and feel like its a bit rough here and there but overall i enjoyed the concept too much to put it aside.

Add yourself to my taglist

TAGLIST: @aesthetic-png @liac2299 @animegirlgeeky @sexysamsungl @mikariell95 @evoutionofkatep @orowit

#spiderman imagine #spiderman fanfiction #spiderman oneshot #spiderman x reader #spiderman x you #peter parker imagine #peter parker fanfic #peter parker oneshot #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #avengers imagine #avengers fanfiction #marvel imagine #marvel fanfiction #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #writing

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thedefinitionofbts · 6 years

Text

Hiraeth (M)

Pairings: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Soulmate/College Au, Light Angst, Fluff, Soft Smut

Words: 18K

Description: We are always yearning for someone, even if that person may not exist in this tangible realm.

A/N: To whomever stumbles upon this piece of my heart, I sincerely hope you enjoy your stay :)

Warnings: Mildly Explicit Sexual Content

Soulmates.

Apparently everyone had one.

And everyone would have the name of their destined other half inscribed on the tender skin of their inner wrist when they turned 18.

Everyone…minus you.

It had remained the sole most exciting thing about turning 18 ever since you learned about the exhilarating phenomenon, something you had been looking forward to more than the pile of presents you knew you would be receiving on said day, more than the “surprise party” you knew your friends would be throwing you, and more than being the center of attention for a solid few hours like all the other birthdays you’ve experienced in your life so far.

It was supposed to be one of the few things in life that are guaranteed, analogous to a type of promise which does not revolve around uncertainty or a surefire plan that is carried out without fail, an occurrence not influenced by outside forces and has been written in the stars since the beginning of time. Its assurance is assumed, which is also why its ultimate letdown was able to spur so much damage.

Because on your 18th birthday, in place of the sparkling letters of the name you could practically feel on your tongue, painted in the vibrant colors of your most beautiful dreams, you are instead left with a black horizontal line- dull, ominous, and utterly frightening.

To say you panicked right off the bat would not capture the exact sequence of events in its entirety. The truth was your mind had initially blanked, leaving your soul drained of any kind of emotion, but the more you looked at the inconceivable marking the more you became intimately aware of everything that was going wrong. The growing tension as you bit back your tears made your heart clench and writhe in the confining space barred by your ribcage. It was a sharp piercing sting that only existed in your mind, but who’s to say mental pain is inferior to physical? If anything, you’d much rather opt to take the latter.

“Maybe that is their name” Taehyung had suggested rather hopefully as he stared at the horizontal line tattooed to your wrist. “Like it’s pronounced dash or something,” He rubs his thumb over the soft marking, making a more than obvious attempt at consoling you.

“Right…” You answer dully, trying not to let your disappointment push you towards taking it out on those around you. It wasn’t their fault, and you had no right to act like a shitty person. “Because some pair of parents out there decided to ruin their child’s life from the get go.”

“Maybe it’ll show up slowly,” Jimin says, also giving you a more than obvious sympathetic look. He had always sported those naturally pouty lips, but the concern dripping from his glossy eyes is enough to patch up part of your gaping wound at the very least.

“Yeah, if anything, they’ll probably find you” Taehyung adds encouragingly.

When you were younger you had never concerned yourself over finding a lifelong partner, a significant other, or “missing half” as some people liked to call it. Heck, no one did because everyone knew that when the right time came, they’d find said person and fall in love to be united for eternity. It was the satisfaction guaranteed offer printed on every individual’s wrist upon adulthood.

Of course, that was before you found out you’d end up being an anomaly.

You reach out and press the doorbell, sensing the icy air threaten to give you frostbite the second you remove your gloves. Taehyung and Jimin had invited you over to their apartment for a small get together after finals, celebrating the start of winter break and the end of yet another hard fought semester. You wait patiently for someone to open the door, snuggling deeper into the warm space created by the woolen scarf wrapped around your neck, observing the white crystalline flakes continue to fall from the sky, drifting and dancing in mid air before making their landing on solid surfaces tied to the earth- the brick windowsill, the frozen railing of the stair steps, the untouched patches of snow on the lawn that was green some seasons ago.

“Y/N!” Jimin’s cheerful voice greets you in tandem with the heated air that escapes through the opened door.

“Hey Chim” You greet, as always, attempting to return a smile as bright and welcoming as his own.

“Come in, come in” Jimin chirps, opening the door wider and scrambling to find you a pair of fuzzy slippers to change into as you remove your snow covered boots.

“Y/N!!!” You hear the familiar baritone voice that can only be described as overly zealous, shoot from the kitchen. He was most likely cooking up a storm and quite literally too. You had heard about the last time he tried to bake a cake in which Jimin ended up calling the local fire department in fear that the whole apartment would be burned to ashes.

“Hey Tae” You return the greeting. “Need some help there?” You inquire, waiting for the male to respond and hoping he knows what he’s doing this time or at least has taken extra precaution.

“Don’t worry.” Jimin reassures. “He’s been taking lessons from Seokjin.” Jimin whispers excitedly.

You laugh. Of course, Kim Seokjin, the resident chef in your group of friends, you can still practically taste the palatable flavors of his unforgettable Kimchi stew on the tip of your tongue. Oh how good that sounded right about now.

“Is he coming?” You question, wondering why Taehyung was cooking instead of the more experienced male.

“He was busy tonight. Said he was still working on finishing up his final thesis since it’s his last year.” Jimin responds.

You sigh as you plop down on their soft couch, looking around at their cozy little apartment that had basically become your second home ever since they moved out of the dorms.

It was no surprise that Park Jimin and Kim Taehyung were destined to be together from the day they were born. After 18 years of an inseparable friendship that blossomed from their days as innocent and unassuming childhood neighbors to hidden high school lovers, no one even battered an eyelash when they saw the characters of Taehyung’s name slowly appear in sparkling coral ink on Jimin’s dainty wrist, swirling in vine-like movements of cursive script and shimmering like the fiery tail of a majestic phoenix. Likewise, Jimin’s own name in celestial blue had emerged on the lightly sun-kissed underside of Taehyung’s upper forearm at exactly the same time, brushstrokes matching the tendrils of a graceful comet soaring across the dark midnight sky, putting the glow of distant stars to shame.

They were without a doubt the definition of soulmates, the perfect combination of opposing poles creating a balanced universe, the poster children of the system the world revolved around.

You didn’t even have to try to not be jealous of them or envy what they had. It’s akin to the type of comparison that’s not even assessable because the objects of comparison were on completely different levels. Like when you don’t get frustrated when someone who is way smarter scores higher than you on an exam or when you lose to someone you didn’t even have the credentials to put yourself up against in the first place. Losing to an obviously stronger opponent is not something to be angry over, just like resenting the world you had no control over was entirely useless.

Why be bitter about something you would never even come close to having?

“So is it just the 3 of us tonight?” You query, as Jimin takes a seat across from you and offers you a drink. Having quaint little get-togethers with just a few of you closest friends had become the norm so to say. Because parties and getting dead drunk on weekends was less fun after all of you had passed the age of 21, something about taking the thrill of performing illegal acts away and being tired of the same old reckless routine.

“As far as I know” Jimin confirms, taking a sip of his beer.

“Actually, someone else is coming.” Taehyung corrects from the kitchen. He walks into the living room to place a bowl of chips on the coffee table.

“What? Who?” Jimin questions, eyes fixed on Taehyung, who was starting to look like a deer caught in the headlights.

“I-I..ugh, sort of invited J-Jungkook and his plus one” Taehyung swallows, waiting for the other male to respond to his revelation that you didn’t know why he was getting so nervous about.

“What the hell???” Jimin chokes on his drink making you jolt in your seat. “Jungkook as in Jeon Jungkook? Why the hell did you invite him? We barely know the guy anymore, and he clearly doesn’t share the same values as us.”

“H-he said he was tired of parties and wanted to try out more mature activities.” Taehyung explains. “And n-not in that sense, get that out of your head!” He adds quickly, face flushing a light shade of pink.

“Tae, he’s 2 years younger than all of us, he’s nowhere near mature.” Jimin argues.

“So, who is this we’re arguing over?” You butt in, unsure of what exactly was going on, or why inviting this Jungkook guy was such a big deal.

Jimin turns to you. “Someone you don’t want to get involved with” He advises. “But now that Tae has invited him over, I’m not sure you’ll be able to.” He flashes the younger male a scolding glare.

“A-actually, he…ugh… sort of invited himself” Taehyung reveals, scratching the back of his neck.

“And you agreed to it?” Jimin throws Taehyung a flabbergasted expression.

“You know I have a soft spot for the guy, and he looked so lonely.”

“Tae, Jungkook is anything but lonely.” Jimin reminds.

“He’s just misunderstood,” Taehyung counters.

“He changes girls more than he changes clothes!” Jimin retorts, a statement that makes you raise your eyebrow questioningly.

“Well technically that doesn’t say much because he likes to wear the same shirts over and over.” Taehyung fires back. “But I’m sorry ok, I can call him now and tell him something came up and-“

Jimin sighs. “It’s ok Tae, what’s done it done. Just think a little before agreeing to these things from now on.” He grabs a napkin to wipe his beer-spattered shirt.

So the part about Jungkook changing girls more than he changes clothes was evident the moment he stepped into the apartment with his arm around not one, but two gorgeous representations of the female species. The cocky look on his face screamed fuck boy, and you’d think those wouldn’t exist in a world where everyone had soulmates, but there were a good number of outliers who weren’t satisfied with one partner. The unfaithful, they were labeled, or simply those who wanted to “live young and free”.

“So much for plus one” Jimin mutters under his breath like he knew this would happen.

“Kookie!” Taehyung voice echoes through the room as he opens the door wide enough for the three people attached at the hip to walk in the doorway…barely. It was like they felt it was so necessary to sustain physical contact that they couldn’t bear to be separated for the few seconds it would take to enter one by one.

“I told you to stop calling me that,” Jungkook says through gritted teeth, arms still wrapped around the two girls.

You hear Taehyung murmur a soft sorry, and return to his smiling self.

“And who are these lovely ladies?” Taehyung proceeds to inquire, directing his attention to the females next to Jungkook. The ones who were eyeing Taehyung up and down and whispering god knows what into Jungkook’s ear.

“I’m Eunbi” The taller, more cold looking one replies.

“Eunha” The shorter one adds with a cute smile.

You and Jimin stare at the awkward scene splayed in front of you, namely Taehyung running out of extra slippers and having to offer his own to Jungkook while forced to be barefoot for the remainder of the night (his Christmas themed socks were pretty adorable if that made it any better), and then Jungkook and his girls walking over to squeeze on the now cramped space that is the couch you were sitting on.

Jungkook smiles and nods his head at Jimin as he makes eye contact with the older male, a grin that to any outsider would not look threatening in the least, but you knew there was some hidden strain in the otherwise casual greeting between the two, especially as you watched Jimin smile back with a beam that, for once, doesn’t reach his eyes.

Then comes the moment his pupils made their way over to land on you. A precarious lingering of distant contact that makes you feel oddly self-conscious and your heartbeat to accelerate from its normally steady pace because his cocky face falters almost unnoticeably, lips parting ever so slightly, and was that sparkle you saw in his previously cloudy iris or was that just your imagination?

“And who do we have here?” The words escape Jungkook’s lips in the form of a question directed at you. His expression had just as quickly reverted back to the way it was when he had entered the apartment.

“I’m Y/N,” You announce. “Friends. We’re friends.” You point at Jimin and Taehyung.

“Best friends” Taehyung corrects with a beam, he hastily slides over to join everyone in the living room

Jungkook ignores the emphasis made by Taehyung, most likely deeming it as unimportant. He proceeds to stare at you, eyeing the way you shifted uncomfortably next to Eunha as she pushes you towards the edge of the couch that was clearly not made for 4 people because you were practically morphing together with the armrest.

“Jungkook, your sweater is sooo soft” Eunbi purrs as she rubs his chest like she was petting a dog.

The smirk on Jungkook’s face makes Jimin cringe.

“I prefer his white button up” Eunha interjects. “You know, the one that’s kind of see through and shows off his…muscles.” A flirty smile spreads across her face.

“It’s too cold for that babe, but look forward to when the weather warms up.”

So you learn that Jungkook has been working out, or more like he announced the fact to everyone in the room, bragging about how much weight he’s able to lift now, in which Eunbi, Eunha -and you want to say Taehyung- all listened to with enthusiasm. Apparently he was a pretty scrawny kid back in high school, and now that he’s a freshman in college, he wanted to sport a new image, or in his own words, “get ripped”.

You’d call what the 6 of you were doing in the living room a “friendly conversation”, but honestly Jungkook was talking 99% of the time, and the other 1% just came in the form of awestruck gasps and one-word comments from the two other girls.

“So, you guys hungry?” Taehyung interrupts just as Jungkook pauses to take a sip of beer. You can practically hear Jimin’s sigh of relief as he hops up from his seat.

“Starving” Jimin grunts, racing towards the kitchen and almost forgetting about you.“Oh, Y/N do you want to help me set up the table?”

You ears perk up at the sound of your name. “Yes!” You reply instantly, thanking god that he turned back for you. “I would love to.”

You don’t turn back to see if Jungkook notices how obviously happy you and Jimin were to get out of there, but you figure it shouldn’t matter, not when he still has Eunbi and Eunha to keep him company.

...

It wasn’t long before the food was plated and everyone was sitting down enjoying the meal. Taehyung was telling stories of how Seokjin was able to teach his formerly hopeless ass how to cook along with Jimin’s re-telling of the infamous he-almost-burned-down-the-apartment tale. Everyone was mesmerized as they listened to the two, laughing at how comedic their expressions were and admiring their unique personality dynamic. It was always times like these when you couldn’t help but sit back and appreciate how perfect Taehyung and Jimin were for each other, something so beautiful that you honestly wouldn’t believe if you hadn’t been seeing it with your own eyes for years.

“So Y/N, is this Seokjin guy your boyfriend?” Eunha suddenly asks, her voice snapping you out of whatever thoughts you were having.

“S-sorry?” You stutter, wondering how the hell she got that idea.

“Seokjin is Namjoon’s soulmate” Taehyung butts in before realizing he said the trigger word. “Ow” He mutters as Jimin pinches his thigh under the table.

“It’s fine, guys. I think I can handle it.” You assure them, still unsuccessful in your attempts to convince their overly worried and protective selves that you’ve gotten over the soulmate thing. It’s been years. You’ve moved on. “But yeah,” You turn back to Eunha. “Seokjin and Namjoon are a pair and we’re all just very good friends.”

She nods in understanding, or what seems like a polite gesture.

Jimin clears his throat moments later. “Taehyung has also prepared dessert,” He says, giving Taehyung a hurry-and-go-grab-the-cake look. “haven’t you Tae?”

Taehyung stares as Jimin confused for a millisecond before the realization hits him, and he glides back into the kitchen to bring out the pastry he had spend all day baking and decorating to perfection.

“So pretty~” Eunha coos, clapping her hands in delight as Taehyung makes his way back from the kitchen with his masterpiece.

“Waa~” Eunbi joins in, nudging Jungkook who seems to have spaced out. You’ve barely noticed that he’s been silent all throughout dinner, too focused on Taehyung and Jimin telling stories and feeding each other lovingly.

You can almost see the faint flush spread on Taehyung cheek as he admires his own creation proudly. He begins cutting into it, serving each guest a piece of the delicious treat until there is only on last piece of cake remaining, and neither you nor Jungkook have been served yet.

“Umm….” You can physically see Taehyung’s Adam’s apple bobble up and down as he gulps in nervousness, staring at the last piece like it was a time bomb about to explode.

“It’s fine, I’m feeling full anyways.” You quickly announce, flashing Taehyung a smile as natural as possible.

“B-b-but…” Taehyung’s eyes switch back and forth between you and Jungkook.

“Actually, I’m not really a fan of sweets.” Jungkook opens his mouth to voice for the first time since everyone began eating, every one turns to the young man who had been staring at you.

“Since when?” Eunbi bursts out. “You told me you loved sweets, and you always go back for seconds when it comes to dessert.” Her mouth hangs open as she gapes at Jungkook in disbelief. You turn and see that rosy pink flowers have blossomed on his formerly uncolored cheeks.

Taehyung quickly clears his throat. “Jimin and I will just share a slice.” He quickly says while pushing his own piece in front of you and serving Jungkook the last slice that had commenced this embarrassing sequence of events.

…

When Jungkook and his girls leave, Taehyung comes back into the living room and looks at you and Jimin uncomfortably.

“Tae, don’t feel bad. It’s his fault for bringing an extra person.” Jimin consoles.

“I’m just, gah, I shouldn’t have invited him.”

“He wasn’t that bad” You shrug, causing both Jimin and Taehyung to look at you in surprise.

“Y/N, don’t tell me you’ve fallen for him already” Jimin makes a mildly disgusted face.

You almost choke on the water you were sipping. “What? No, no, I’m just saying he seemed more considerate than you guys make him sound.”

There’s a pregnant pause in which you have a minor flashback of his cocky attitude when he had walked in and the 40 minutes of straight bragging he engaged in while you were all gathered in the living room.

“Ok, pretend I didn’t say anything.” You correct, making both Jimin and Taehyung laugh.

…

When winter break does finally arrive in burst of frigid wind and snow-speckled air, the university campus turns into a frost covered ghost town-previously bustling sidewalks and grassy lawns now entirely empty and void of life.

Finals were thankfully a thing of the past, albeit not so distant, but at least the end of the semester was allowing you to somewhat breathe with ease. But like every year, you’re hit with that strange hollow feeling that settles in your gut after weeks of overwhelming stress, like diving into cold water after hiking to the top of a mountain in the heat of midsummer or stepping off of a wild roller coaster after your body had already adjusted to being accelerated in a million different directions.

Standing in front of the library, you take a long look at the peaceful patches of untouched snow, the daylight waning under the cloudy, grey expanse and the bare trees rooted frozen in the serene environment- matching with the cool undertones of the white wintery realm that had been cast over this part of the world.

Jimin and Taehyung had both gone home to their families, and were most likely celebrating this joyous season happily with their parents, siblings, grandparents, and undoubtedly, each other. The thought almost makes you wish you had decided to go home this winter break, to be back in the company of your loving parents who would probably be more than happy to prepare all of your favorite foods and talk about the past school year and whatnot. But you stay firm in your decision to give yourself some time alone, some time to think and figure life out, or do whatever you didn’t really know exactly.

You just wanted to be alone for a bit.

Taking a deep breath you begin heading back to your studio apartment, pulling out your headphones and putting your favorite playlist on shuffle. These were the times you enjoyed the most, walking alone after a long day and getting lost in your favorite music as you cleared your mind of stress and only dwelled over pure emotion, sadness, nostalgia, acceptance, hope, or whatever your heart desired.

Just as you were getting in the zone, a figure walking in the near distance catches your attention, not only because he was the only person around this abandoned area, but also because said person’s trajectory on the sidewalk would soon intersect with yours. You pull your headphones out as the dark figure almost bumps into you because he was mostly likely also lost in the music he was listening to-made apparent by his oblivious attitude towards the oncoming collision and the pair of headphones stuffed in his ears.

“Hey, watch it!” He begins to voice as he nearly doubles over while trying to avoid running straight into you. An annoyed scowl is plastered across his face, that is, until he sees who you are and the face of recognition washes over his distorted expression. “Y/N?” He murmurs in disbelief.

It was none other than Jeon Jungkook.

“H-Hey” You greet, casually, trying not to turn this into an awkward encounter or causing it to drag out into a full blown conversation.

“You’re still on campus?” He inquires, pulling out both of his earpieces and tucking them away into his coat pocket.

“Yeah, I decided not to go home this year. I’m still working part time at the coffee shop downtown.” You throw in the last part just for kicks. It wasn’t a lie. It just wasn't the full-blown truth either because you could’ve easily taken work off like you did every year, but you figured you’d spare him the details. “You’re not either?” The words leak past your lips before you’re able to remind yourself that you didn’t want to start a conversation with him.

“I’m not really into family gatherings and the idea of going home” He replies, shrugging and letting out a warm huff of air, white vapor dispersing in trails of wispy smoke.

You nod, ignoring the note of curiosity over what he actually means by that. It was a conventional gesture between strangers who didn’t understand each other beyond the most superficial of levels, a sign that you were ready to end this interaction right then and there. “Well, I’ll-“ You were about to add see you around, but Jungkook cuts in before you could finish.

“It’s k-kind of late. I can walk you back to your dorm or apartment or wherever” He offers rather nervously, if you weren’t mistaken about the way his voice went a pitch higher on a few select words, namely late, I, walk, and apartment.

The prepubescent aura he’s radiating now makes you wonder how he’s able to attract so many girls. What happened to the cocky fuck boy impression that he initially gave off? Or the one Jimin and Taehyung keep insisting he possesses and that he himself had clearly demonstrated less than two days ago?

“Ummm, no that’s ok. I don’t live far from here anyways.” You smile, kindly rejecting his spur of the moment, or so you think, offer.

“Oh, o-ok, t-then” He scratches the back of his neck. “I guess I’ll, uh, see you around?”

“Yeah” You affirm before proceeding to walk in the direction you had been headed before the collision. You were about to go back to listening to music when some unspecified force temps you to turn around a check to see if Jungkook had left. To your surprise he’s still rooted in the same spot, seemingly just minding his own business until your eyes meet his and causes his expression to mimic that of a deer caught in the headlights.

You raise an eyebrow, wondering why the hell he hadn’t moved at all.

“O-Oh, uhhhh…” Jungkook looks around the empty campus, clearly unsure of what to do with himself right then.

“You alright there, buddy?” You shout back, wondering why he was acting so strange and waiting for him to finish whatever explanation he was probably cooking up in his head.

“I-It’s just, I-I was about to walk in that direction too, and I didn’t want this to be like that awkward situation when you say goodbye to someone but end up walking in the same direction anyways.” The words come out almost slurred, like he was trying to spit them all out in one go. The faint flush of pastel pink is making its way back up his cheek as he makes his way towards you with a defeated sigh.

You let out a small laugh, not even knowing how to respond to this whole situation that was turning out to be more amusing than you expected. “Ok, how about you just walk with me until we end up parting ways.” You suggest, realizing that this situation was made even more awkward because the two of you were trying to avoid being awkward.

Jungkook chuckles nervously as he scratches the back of his neck.

The two of you continue walking for quite some time because you actually live further from campus than most people would consider walkable, but you enjoyed it, always relishing in your much needed periods of solitude. But now walking alongside Jungkook with no music to distract either of you, it wasn’t until the silence lingering in the air was beginning to feel so suffocating that you swallowed your social ineptitude and dipped your toe into more small talk.

“So what was that about you not liking the idea of going home?” You query as Jungkook’s previous response to the question you had asked makes its way back to the front of your mind. You hope that it doesn’t sound too personal or prying, but he could always just make up some meaningless response if he was uncomfortable with sharing his real thoughts, right?

You can almost feel Jungkook tense slightly at the sudden sound of your voice before relaxing once more. “I left my home when I was really young to attend a private academy in the city” Jungkook explains. “I was raised by my grandparents in my early years, then I moved in with my parents for a few years after that. I guess I’ve just never considered certain places to be my real home. They’re all kind of just…places.” The look in his eyes is sincere-almost telling of the vulnerability hidden behind his glassy pupils in a way that made your heart soften ever so slightly. The nervousness that had been interlaced in his voice before has left without a trace as well.

“I see…” Is all you can say, and you feel kind of shitty for the fairly cold response you’re giving him.

“What about you?”

“Hmm?” You turn to glance at him startled, not expecting the same question to be directed back at you.

“I mean, why don’t you like going home?” He asks, explicitly wording the question he had previously implied.

“I-I…” You trail off, clearly remembering you had never mentioned anything about not liking to go home, distinctly recalling your intention of specifically avoiding the revelation of things you only said to yourself. It was impossible that Jungkook would know, and you almost convince yourself that he was probably just fishing, that he doesn’t actually know his question had hit a spot you had always chosen to avoid. The part about you that you don’t just reveal to anyone walking down the street or even your closest of friends.

“Come on, you can’t possibly expect me to believe work is the only reason you’re not going home for the holidays can you?”

Oh, so he’s already trying to read in between the lines? You feel a bit of embarrassment mixed with irritancy sprout like little florets in your chest. “Well, I’ll have you know, I take my job pretty seriously.” You attempt to cover up that spot, glossing over it for the nth time in your life. It was all mechanic at this point.

Jungkook looks skeptical, but doesn’t push the matter further, perhaps sensing your reluctance to continue on with the topic. The walk from that moment on turns into a relatively silent one, in which Jungkook doesn’t tell you how far he lives or even motions to head in a different direction even as the two of you close in on your apartment. The sky was already dark and the automatic streetlights had lit up just as the sun dipped below the distant horizon.

“You did this on purpose didn’t you?” You accuse with a hint of playfulness, stopping when you’re both in front of your apartment.

“I-I, ugh…” He’s searching for the words that can form the excuse he’s hoping you’ll believe, but ends up just shutting his mouth before he can make matters worse.

“Thanks” You say anyways, deciding that he was probably just worried about your safety and really didn’t have any ulterior motives.

He scratches the back of his head, tucking his reddening face lower into his scarf.

“It was kind of on the way” He shrugs. “I-I guess I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah, see you” You wave at him one last time before walking up the steps to your apartment.

…

Going to work the next week felt nothing short of routine. Now that the crippling stress from classes wasn’t an issue any more, spending long shifts at the café didn’t sound as bad as it had the weeks leading up to midterms and ultimately finals. Since it was the holidays, business was moving at a snail’s pace, causing your boredom to compel you to turn your thoughts to a certain someone you’d rather not waste your time thinking about. But you had to admit he was kind of sweet for walking you home, despite the unconventional way in which the events actually transpired, and your short conversation with him surprisingly felt a lot more personal than most of the ones you’ve had with even the closest members of your family and friends.

Waving off your own daydreams, you attempt to steer your attention towards wiping the coffee stained table when the sound of the bell signaling the entrance of more customers startles you as the coincidence of seeing the person you were just thinking about unfolds in reality, making you nearly jump out of your own skin.

“Y/N, what a surprise” The familiar voice almost gives you a heart attack as you turn around to be faced with the person you already knew it was.

He wasn’t alone this time, bringing his friend who looked to be a few years older than him into the coffee shop.

“Y/N, Hoseok. Hoseok, Y/N” Jungkook runs through the brief introduction, after ordering at the counter and making his way over to you.

Hoseok eyes you up and down, before nodding his head in approval. “Wow, Kook, your new girlfriend is gorgeous!”

“We haven’t gone out yet,” Jungkook quickly says, clearing his throat. “But what do you say we change that, babe?” He turns to you with a smug grin.

You’re caught off guard for a momentary lapse, wondering if the question was actually meant for someone else. But upon realizing that it was in fact directed towards you, you’re immediately appalled. His sudden change of personality had come as a shock. Was this what Jungkook was really like? Was he just hiding behind a façade the other day you two were alone? You were beginning to understand where Jimin and Taehyung were coming from with the way they had been so wary of the younger male. Jeon Jungkook was undoubtedly a cocky asshole, 100% purebred douchebag.

“Um, no thanks” You frown, turning your back and returning to counter to help make the orders.

You can hear Hoseok laughing in the background as you try to ignore the stunned expression that’s probably plastered on Jungkook’s face right then. Serves him right for playing games. Why was he acting like this again?

When their orders are made, you watch the two of them leave the shop, with Jungkook glancing back at you almost apologetically, but you convince yourself that it’s just your imagination.

...

The rest of the afternoon passes as per usual, with customers coming and going. At one point you get a call from your parents, wondering how you were doing and reminding you to take time to de-stress and to not overwork yourself because it was something you had the tendency to do. You can tell by the tone of their voices that they’re still a bit disappointed that you decided to stay on campus over break, but you’re grateful they’ve always respected your decisions even if it went against their wishes.

By the time your shift was over later in the day, you were glad there were no more surprises awaiting you …or so you thought because just as you were leaving the café, you see a certain Jeon Jungkook leisurely leaning against the wall outside.

You elect to ignore his presence and walk ahead.

“Hey, Y/N, wait” You hear Jungkook call before running after you as you strolled past him.

“What do want, Jungkook? I don’t have time for this.” You ask in annoyance, ignoring the pleading look in his eyes and his fake apology that you can practically already hear.

“Listen, about what happened back there-“

“I have no interest in going out with you, so you can stop stalking me or whatever this is.” You interrupt sternly, knowing that if you agreed to his promiscuous antics you would end up being nothing but one of the million other nameless flower petals on his already crowded wall.

“I know it’s weird that I waited for you to get off work, but I just didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable if I had stayed in the shop…” He trails off.

Your walking comes to a halt as you register what he had just said. “You waited for me outside?” Your voice comes as a murmur. In temperatures this low?

“W-well, I mean, I did go to the dance studio with Hoseok for 2 hours before coming back here.” He scratches the back of his neck.

That’s still 3 hours of shivering in the snow. “You dance?” You query instead, attempting to lightened the mood.

Jungkook chuckles. “What you have a thing for dancers?”

You frown at his pick up line.

“S-sorry” He lowers his head once again. “I’m just, I-I..” You see his body waver slightly, and his failed attempt to steady himself before you take notice. You have a hunch that something’s not right, and upon reaching up and feeling his forehead you become aware that he’s burning up.

“Jungkook you have a fever” You voice alarmed.

...

The rest of what happens comes as a blur, namely Jungkook flashing you a faint smile before collapsing against your body. Luckily your apartment was much closer to the café you worked at than the university. You don’t know where Jungkook lives, if he lives alone, or if any of those things passed as an excuse to take him to your place, but you didn’t have time to weigh out your limited options meticulously, not when he’s literally crushing you with the weight of his body.

He at least manages to remain half conscious while you support him for the ten minutes it takes to walk to your apartment; cause god knows it would’ve been impossible for you to carry him there.

You struggle to pull out your keys from your purse and swing the door open, but once you do manage to drag him into your room and throw him on you bed, you stand there and stare at his limp body for a good 5 minutes as he lies on top of your fluffy duvet, fully dressed in winter apparel. Wait, is it better to take off his clothes? At least his coat right?

You get around to removing his Timberland boots, his coat, and his beanie only to find that his clothes underneath were damp. Shit, they’re still sweaty from him dancing. Why didn’t he take a shower and get changed before leaving the studio?

The questions continue forming in your head as you cursed under your breathe, trying to calm your nerves as you slowly remove his coat, sweatshirt, and eventually the white t-shirt he was wearing underneath.

Please don’t wake up and get the wrong idea…

Ugh, why am I acting like this is a crime? I’m just doing what needs to be done.

Stop it, Y/N, calm yourself. You’re making this a bigger deal than it actually is.

The internal monologue kept rolling as you stripped him down to his boxers, you blame it on your inherent habit of talking to yourself and overthinking. In a way it was a form of therapy, distracting your thoughts from the actions that your body was performing, and initially it worked, you had successfully convinced yourself that this was what any compassionate human being would do when presented with a sick person.

Nothing creepy or inappropriate or invasive.

But the minute your fingers come in contact with his heated skin-that was oh-so-freaking soft might you add, and your eyes landed on the gentle rising and fall of his chest as he breathes through marginally parted lips, you’re forced to swallow the saliva that has built up in your mouth. And it didn’t help that Jungkook’s abs looked more delicious than the tastiest of chocolates and the series of well-defined muscles on his chest, shoulder, and arms were making your mind go places it should most certainly not be allowed to go. Fucking hell.

He really wasn’t kidding about working out.

You’re able to finally breathe again after the deed of undressing him is done and Jungkook is wrapped tightly in your blanket, which will now probably smell like him for god knows how long you put off washing your sheets. He sleeps for a good 4 hours, in which you take the time to make some porridge, wash and dry his clothes, and change the dampened cloth you had placed on his forehead a good twenty times. You’re staring at the soft features of his face just as the slow fluttering of his eyelids startles you as he wakes up.

“W-wha…w-where?” He begins to murmur, barely having the energy to raise his head off the pillow and lazily look around the room.

“You had a fever and passed out” You begin explaining, feeling a bit tired after going through such a physically- and mentally exhausting event. “I brought you here because it was the closest place-er, because I didn’t know what else to do…” You trail off, waiting for him to respond.

His pupils land on you and the moment they do, the most relaxing of smiles washes over his expression.

“Thanks” He half whispers.

“I just did what needed to be done.” You voice the same words you had said to yourself a couple of hours ago.

There’s a momentary pause as Jungkook slowly sits up, only to find that he was naked under the blanket. His surprised expression is quickly replaced by a coy smile as licks his lips and clears his throat. “I see you’ve washed my clothes.” He says, eyeing the folded laundry placed at the foot of the bed with a playful tone in his voice.

“Oh…yeah…” You voice hitches a little as a powerful heat radiates to your cheeks. Of course he would notice right away. “I also made some porridge.” You quickly add, changing the subject and rushing towards the kitchen so he wouldn’t catch how embarrassed you were.

Jungkook laughs silently as he watches you dash off.

You could tell he was feeling much better as you watched him eat, seeing the color returning to his lips and checking that his body temperature had gone down.

“So about the way I acted back at the coffee shop…” Jungkook begins as he swallows the porridge and lets out a long exhale. “I didn’t mean to come off so-“

“Arrogant? Cocky?” You don’t know why you were interrupting him, but the words kind of just took matters into their own hands before your brain filter could give them a pass or fail.

He sighs. “Yeah. I’m just bad at this.” He hangs his head a little, avoiding direct eye contact as he stirs the contents in his bowl.

“So let me get this straight, you’re telling me you aren’t the smooth-talking player everyone thinks you are?” You half scoff, knowing this is probably just one of his little tricks to come off as innocent. You had seen the real him, or what you had thought to be the real him at least.

“Would you believe me if I told you that’s actually a result of practice?”

You raise your eyebrow. “Practice?”

“I’m not as smooth as everyone thinks,” He admits.

“Oh really?” You cock another brow.

“I thought it was obvious to you.”

You have a minor flashback to the time you had first questioned his social skills back when he almost ran you over the sidewalk a week ago. “Yeah, I’m just still trying to figure out who you really are. I mean, I obviously don’t really know you yet. ”

“To be honest no one really does…” He trails off, looking down at his hands.

“Not even your friends, or multiple girlfriends or whatever they are to you?”

“I see you’re a fan of monogamy.” He comments, avoiding having to answer your prior question.

“Yeah, you can put it that way.”

He laughs a little, shaking his head, and you think you can sense the look of disappointment that flashes across his features.

“Do you ever take into consideration how your soulmate would feel?” Your jaw clenches after the sentence escapes your lips. You don’t know why were you bringing this topic up, especially when you of all people should not have the right to talk about soulmates.

“Soulmates.” Jungkook scoffs, turning his head to face away from you.

“I’m assuming you haven’t found him or her yet, but when you do-“

“Look can we not talk about this?” Jungkook cuts in, voice interlaced with a bit of annoyance and perhaps even anger if you weren’t mistaken.

You flinch a little, an action that he notices and immediately regrets snapping at you.

“I’m sorry.” His face softens as he turns back to you with apologetic puppy eyes.

“It’s fine. I shouldn’t be telling you how to live your life anyways.” You didn’t know what had possessed you to bring such a sensitive topic up. You and Jungkook barely knew each other and you were already getting into his personal business. Way to go, Y/N. You mentally scold yourself for getting carried away.

“It’s just…I’m not a fan of the whole soulmate thing.” He mutters, taking another bite of porridge.

Of course, that should’ve been obvious enough.

“To be honest, I’m not either.” You admit. “I just…I don’t know. Forget I even brought it up.”

…

Winter break ended faster than you had anticipated, much to your powerless disappointment. It was a few days after the New Year had begun and classes were starting the very next Monday that you became conscious of just how swiftly time passes. You can’t say you were looking forward to going back to school, but at least you had a couple of classes you were looking forward to this semester.

Surprisingly, or maybe not so surprisingly, you didn’t see Jungkook after that fever incident when he thanked you one last time before leaving your apartment with clothes smelling like your laundry detergent. He had complimented the scent, but with someone as “bipolar” – the word you decided to refer to his multiple personalities as, as Jungkook, you couldn’t tell if he was being sincere or just fake nice. It had just become another addition to the hoard of other questions you had about him. Did he really want to be your friend or was he just trying to get in your pants? Was he a douche or was he some shy kid under the guise of an expert player? You didn’t know what to think or which side of him to trust, but you figured it didn’t matter because you wouldn’t have to see him again anyways.

But oh how wrong you were yet again.

Taehyung and Jimin come back from break the weekend before classes start, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss their bright and bubbly personalities lighting up your days. And of course the first thing they want to do to kick off the semester is go watch the new Avengers movie, it’s so predictable of them but that doesn’t keep you from acting exasperated at their “lame” suggestion.

“Really now? The new Avengers movie?” You cross your arms, looking back and forth from Taehyung to Jimin.

“You know we’re huge fans” Taehyung flashes you a boxy smile. “Oh come on, Y/N, we know you are too~.”

You roll your eyes, pretending like you were being forced to something you would’ve agreed to anyways.

Jimin giggles, slapping Taehyung playfully on the shoulder, and you’re almost tempted to make a gagging motion.

“It’ll be the 3 of us, just like old times.” Taehyung chirps.

You can’t help the smile that forms on your face at Taehyung’s words, but when your eyes trace over to Jimin you notice a look of guilt wash over his features.

“What’s the matter Chim?” You query concerned.

“So I may or may not have invited….ummm, ugh…J-Jungkook” He cringes as if he was about to receive a smack in the face.

“You what!?” Taehyung gasps.

Jimin laughs nervously, preparing to use his crescent shaped eye smile to get Taehyung to forgive him. “He recently agreed to be a part of a three member dance crew with me and Hoseok. Completing our dream of entering the spring dance competition. You know how long Hoseok and I have wanted this, don't you?” Jimin explains quickly, voice full of desperation.

Taehyung practically rolls his eyes 360 degrees. “And that my friend, is how the mouse gets caught in the cheese trap.” He shakes his head and turns to you for a look of confirmation.

“Wait, you guys all know each other?” You accuse with a sharp finger pointing from Jimin to Taehyung and back to Jimin, finally putting the pieces together.

“About that…” Taehyung begins. “We used to hang out at parties and stuff all the time, until Hoseok met Yoongi, and Seokjin met Namjoon, leaving only Jungkook who decided to go solo after that.”

“And it’s always been me and Hoseok’s dream to form a dance team with Jungkook called the 3J’s, but ever since he left the group and started dating a bunch of random girls, we kind of fell apart.” Jimin adds.

You swallow, finally viewing the picture in its entirety. “Hoseok and Yoongi, Seokjin and Namjoon, they’re all soulmates….” There it was again, the word you just seem to be unable to avoid. Taehyung and Jimin nod simultaneously, flashing you a sympathetic look.

“And I know it seems like I’m just letting go of the grudge I held against him because he agreed to join us again, but he seems different lately.” Jimin continues, inciting a skeptical look from both you and Taehyung, but there’s was nothing you could do now that Jimin’s already made up his mind.

“So you only invited him, right?” Taehyung inquires, just making sure there’re aren’t any more surprises.

“Jungkook and his plus one.” Jimin corrects, the statement making your heart fall to the pit of your stomach for reasons you claim are unknown to yourself. You knew he wouldn’t butt in on Taehyung and Jimin’s movie date without bringing an actual date himself, and yet you where somehow clutching on to the idea that maybe he take a break from being in fleeting relationships akin to that of fuck buddies.

“Oh come on Tae, you know Jungkook is rarely seen without at least one girl attached to his hip.” Jimin says. “He’s not the innocent child we knew before.”

“Ok guys, it’s fine.” You cut in. “Being the 5th wheel isn’t all that different from being the 3rd anyways.” It’s supposed to be a joke, but neither Jimin nor Taehyung laughs; they just throw you that sympathetic look you’ve gotten way to use to seeing.

The three of you wait for Jungkook- and whichever girl he was probably screwing now, at the Student Union so the five of you can walk to the city from there. You were listening to Taehyung and Jimin talk about how their break was, how their families are doing, and their plans for this summer (yeah already, and the semester technically hasn’t even started yet). Taehyung was in the middle of suggesting you guys go on a road trip/camping with the crew when he abruptly stops as you hear the footsteps of someone approach.

You turn to see who you suspected it was.

“Hey” Jungkook’s familiar voice cuts through the sounds of the other students in the background, making you tense up as you were reminded of the other times you’ve heard that voice.

He was dressed very casually, wearing a beanie to cover his hair except the bangs that lay flat against his forehead. There was something odd about his demeanor or what you couldn’t really place a finger on…until you realized…

He’s alone.

“So, uhh, where’s Rose?” Jimin asks, looking around and behind Jungkook to see if there was anyone there.

“She canceled,” He says, short, detached, and unbothered in the slightest.

“And you couldn’t find a replacement?” Taehyung raises his eyebrows disbelievingly.

“It was last minute.” Jungkook shrugs, avoiding your muted gazes.

“Ok, then are we ready to go?” Jimin gets up from his seat and flashes everyone a cheerful grin.

The fact that you haven't seen or spoken to Jungkook since you stripped him down naked and tended to his fever and the fact that Jungkook is clearly trying not to acknowledge your presence now doesn’t really sit well with you. If he’s going to be back to being buddies with Taehyung and Jimin, you’re going to have to force yourself to be on good terms with the guy.

You eye him suspiciously as he diverts his attention to the direction of the movie theater five blocks down. Jimin and Taehyung walk in front of the two of you, giggling in hushed whispers, pointing at the interesting objects displayed in the shop windows, forgetting that you and Jungkook were trailing awkwardly behind.

Somewhere in the space between skyscrapers and the muffled hum of car engines, you feel Jungkook’s hand brush against yours. It’s a light touch, the flutter of a feather drifting in the air, but it sends a tingle shooting up your arm and you swallow the saliva that has built up in your mouth.

You hear Jungkook clear his throat, and it was as if there were words bubbling up to his throat but ended up getting swallowing before they could be voiced.

The crowd of people was becoming denser as you neared the busier part of the city, it was hard not to be bumped by some random shoulder, or be squished closer and closer to Jungkook who was walking next to you. Taehyung and Jimin were far ahead now, and you could barely see the top of their head through the swarm of bodies.

“Um, is it ok if I hold your hand?” Jungkook murmurs, barely loud enough for you to hear.

You turn to see that he’s looking at you, waiting for you to either accept or reject him. You’re pretty sure your expression is reflecting how unprepared you were to face such a sudden request, and you’d be lying if you said that was an easy question to answer whether you said yes or no.

“Uh, you know, so we don’t get separated?” He adds in a significantly less confident tone.

You ponder over his statement again, wanting to dissect the expression on his own face so you could figure out what his motives are, but the innocent look in his eyes compels you to nod before your mind could stop yourself.

At your signal, he tentatively reaches over and takes your hand, unable to even make eye contact as he performs the deed because he was so nervous. Jungkook’s hand is surprisingly delicate and soft. You’re not exactly sure what you were expecting because you had never taken the time to imagine what his hands would feel like, but it’s much warmer than yours. And you’re sure he’s taking note of how cold your hand is because he proceeds to stuff your intertwined hands into his coat pocket. He doesn’t look at you for the remainder of the walk to the movie theater, but you can feel his fingers move, and tenderly rub your frozen digits in an attempt to warm them up. His firm grip is strong yet gentle, like he was afraid to hurt you but also didn’t ever want to let go.

You would also be lying if you said walking hand in hand with Jungkook for the first time didn’t feel strange, but it’d be a bigger lie to say you didn’t enjoy feeling so protected and safe for once in your life.

You’re so caught up in your dreamy thoughts that you don’t notice the bump in the sidewalk that you conveniently decide to trip on in that moment. It sends you tumbling forward, but Jungkook catches you just in time, right before you can fall face flat on the hard cement.

“You ok?” Jungkook turns to you with concern while he supports your upper body.

“Yeah, haha.” You try to laugh it off, but it sounds more forced than you intended. “I do that all the time.”

He chuckles silently, relaxing a little for the first time this evening. “Well, it’s a good thing I’m here then.”

You open your mouth to respond, but your mind blanks for a millisecond.

“I-I mean, you know, keeping you from falling and stuff.” He quickly adds, clearing his throat awkwardly.

“T-Thanks” You murmur softly, trying to avoid looking at his flushing face. You hope that he can’t sense your own nervousness and the churning of butterflies in your stomach, because you know exactly why that feeling is there and you most certainly do not want to address it.

You can feel his hand still moving as the two of you continue to walk, gripping and releasing like he was gently kneading your hand, contemplating how to start a conversation that would loosen the tense atmosphere hovering over the two of you.

“So, uh, I know you’re not interested in going out with me, but if you ever need someone when you’re with Taehyung and Jimin, I’ll be happy to get you out of that 3rd wheel situation.” He suddenly says when the two of you were reaching the theater entrance.

You wonder if that’s the real reason he came today.

“Jungkook, look, I don’t want to complicate things between us-”

“I understand.” He interrupts before you can finish. “It’s just, I’ve been in that sort of position, and I really hated that feeling of tagging along as an extra. Please don’t think this is just me trying to get in your pants or anything or being fake to get you to do something you don’t want to. I-I just want to help, and I totally get the not wanting to make it awkward between us since our friend groups overlap, and you know, it’s just, ugh, I’m just so bad at this.” He lets out a long exhale knowing that he was ranting again, that habit of his when he gets hit with social anxiety and hasn’t planned a whole speech out to come off cool and composed.

You bite your lip, wanting to let him know what you were truly thinking. Even though his thoughts came out jumbled, you get what he’s saying and you’re shocked at how accurately he hit the spot. It was true. As much as you liked being alone, you did hate that feeling of being out of place when Jimin and Taehyung dragged you along to their “dates”, you have been in situations when you wished someone who just come and take your hand and tell you they’ll be there when you don’t want to be alone. And you finally realized why you were secretly so happy when Jungkook had come without a date. But you don’t get the chance to respond because the heat of the theater lobby was greeting you, and your first instinct is to quickly slip your hand out of Jungkook’s pocket before Jimin and Taehyung turn to wave you guys over.

“We got the tickets!” Taehyung announces.

“Hope you guys don’t mind sitting closer to the back.” Jimin adds. “We probably should’ve reserved seats because this place is packed.”

You shrug. “Fine with me.”

You quickly follow behind Jimin and Taehyung, trying to put off the thought of responding to Jungkook’s offer. You’re immensely thankful that the lighting in theater is dim because it was acting as a blanket to cover all of the untended issues you were choosing to run away from.

“Oh yeah, and our seats are not in the same row.” Taehyung whispers. “Umm, do you want to sit with me and Jimin with Jungkook or I could sit with Jungkook and-“

“Tae, you go ahead and sit with Jimin” You interrupt, knowing that he was just trying to be polite and was probably feeling bad about leaving you with Jungkook.

“You sure?” He says, looking up to eye Jungkook who was pretending he couldn’t hear the conversation.

You nod in confirmation.

…

Seokjin and Namjoon may not seem like a classic soulmate pairing to the untrained eye, but you’ve known the two of them long enough to recognize complementarity at its finest. Kim Seokjin is maternal, protective, and caring, while Kim Namjoon is a genius-born leader and total klutz hybrid.

Seokjin is a complete jokester, always has been, and anyone who wasn’t familiar with his eccentric personality would think Namjoon was the older one in the relationship. But oh how wrong they would be, because despite always emphasizing his age with anyone younger than him, Seokjin has always treated Namjoon as his equal, if not superior. And everyone knew they were meant to be the moment he refrained himself from jumping out of his pants when Namjoon accidentally addressed him informally. It was actually quite a life defining moment.

They now live comfortably in a newly constructed apartment complex downtown, and have invited you, Jimin, and Taehyung over for “afternoon tea”. It honestly did not make any sense to you, but it had something to do with Seokjin wanting to test out the housewife life just for kicks before heading off to grad school.

“I don’t get why Y/N and Jungkook can’t just get together.” Seokjin blurts out, making you jolt at the sound of your name and Jungkook’s being used in the same sentence.

The five of you were currently gathered in their cleanly organized living room, enjoying freshly brewed tea and baked goods courtesy of none other than Kim Seokjin.

“You know that’s not how it works,” Namjoon reminds him, before you can come up with a similar retort.

“He clearly doesn’t care about staying faithful to his soulmate.” Seokjin sighs. “He’s too feisty. I blame it on his competitive nature. I told him to wait for the time to come, but that boy has no patience.”

“Hyung, I think it’s better not to talk about that when, you know” Taehyung gestures to you not-so-subtly.

“Oh sorry, Y/N, I didn’t mean to-“

“Guys, how many times do I have to say that I’m over it?” You try and convince them that you’re fine with not knowing your soulmate and they don’t have to act like they’re walking on needles when they bring up the topic in front of you.

“Who is Jungkook’s soulmate anyways? Has he told you guys their name?” Jimin suddenly asks.

“I thought he told you guys.” Seokjin responds raising both his eyebrows. “He’s never bothered to tell us.”

“He hasn’t told any of us?” Taehyung gasps.

“Let the boy have his privacy.” Namjoon butts in. “I’m sure we’ll all know once that person shows up.”

There’s a moment of prolonged pause before Namjoon suddenly speaks again.

“So, Y/N, not to be nosy or anything, but what exactly happened to your, ugh, soulmate?”

“Oh right, I haven’t told you yet” You respond, realizing Namjoon has no idea about the line tattooed on your wrist. He probably thought you just hadn’t met them yet. “My soulmates name didn’t really show up when I was eighteen.”

He throws you a startled look. “Like there’s nothing there?”

You roll up your sleeve and show him the faint marking that had already grown almost invisible.

“Ahh, the infamous horizontal line.”

Your eyes widen. “You’ve seen this before?”

He chuckles lightly. “Not until now.” He admits, gesturing at your wrist. “But I’ve heard about how some people don’t get names but different markings instead.” He shakes his head. “They are very rare, and there’s still a lot that is unknown about what they mean, but I found an old book at a library once that explained some of the markings that have shown up throughout history.”

You ears perk up. “Did it say anything about what a line means?” You feel your heart beat quicken as you wait for the older male to respond.

“Well…” He begins, rubbing his hands together and preparing his pending monologue. “It talked about a couple of the more common markings. Like for example, an X meaning your soulmate has died before you met them, a circle for soulmates who will not meet in this life but another, and a triangle for people who have soulmates that have someone else’s name on their wrist and not theirs….” He sighs. “As for a line like yours….”

You lean in closer because his voice suddenly grew soft.

“…the book said that it was the rarest of all the symbols that have been studied so far.” He pauses again. “It means… you don’t have a soulmate.” The last sentence almost comes out inaudible, and you aren’t quite sure if it’s because Namjoon’s voice was so hushed or because your eardrums feel like they were suddenly plunged underwater.

And maybe it was just because you were still clutching onto that nonexistent sliver of hope that a name would eventually appear, or that your soulmate would have the same marking as you and it would mean you found them, but all of that vanished with Namjoon’s words. The other markings are undoubtedly tragic, heartbreakingly so, but in some twisted way that could even come off as romantic depending on how one chose to view it, like those famous tales of star-crossed lovers or sad endings that are so meaningful because of the beautiful love that once was or could have been. But none of that was applicable in your case. It’s like you were torn away from all of that, not even privileged enough to feel the kind of gnawing pain that unforgettable or unrequited love leaves behind because what you are faced with is not even the thought of that red string of fate being cut or disappearing because now you’ve come to the realization that it never even existed in the first place.

You will always be reaching for something that is not there and never will be.

“Y/N, are you ok?” The voice of Jimin cuts through your isolated thoughts.

Breaking away from your reverie, you don’t have a choice but to force yourself back into reality and tell him you’re fine. Because truthfully, you are, and although it may seem unfair at times, you have already come to terms with your destiny, so knowing the meaning behind the rare marking on your wrist should not change that aforementioned acceptance.

...right?

…

On the Monday that classes officially begin, you run into Jungkook again.

You were starting to think your frequent run-ins with the younger male are too odd to be simple coincidences, but then you realize this was strictly only the second (or third?) time it’s been unplanned. But if that wasn’t enough evidence, the way he tries to pretend he hasn’t seen you and attempts to play it off as if the two of you were complete strangers tells you that he was not expecting to see your face among the crowd of swarming students. You watch in amusement as he looks everywhere but in the direction of you, even trying to use his scarf to cover his face.

“Jungkook!”

His eyes widen at the sound of your voice calling his name.

“I swear I’m not a stalker” is the first thing he blurts out of his mouth.

You giggle at how endearing he looks as he waits for you to charge him with a felony. “It’s fine. Coincidence, right?”

“Y-yeah, cause you know, I was walking to class and then… you… and I-I…yeah.” He smiles shyly, scratching the back of his neck.

You smile before looking down at your phone and notice that your first lecture starts in less than 5 minutes. “Well, I better get going. Don’t want to be late!” You turn to leave, but notice that he’s not making a motion to do the same. Instead, he’s just standing there, looking around like he didn’t have a class to catch.

“Ok, don’t tell me it’s because you don’t want to walk the same way again.” You look at him mischievously, crossing your arms and patiently waiting for his response.

“Would you believe me if I said it is?” He almost sounds timid, like he was afraid you were going to get angry with him for being annoying or bothersome.

“Unbelievable.” You sigh, shaking your head but unable to contain the grin that peeks through your incredulous expression. “What class are you headed to?”

“Zoology”

Your jaw drops. “No way.”

Jungkook looks at you confused.

“Me too.” You cannot believe this is actually happening. “But why are taking Zoology!?” You ask the question as if it’s something he shouldn’t be doing when in fact it should be the other way around, but you were in too much of a shock to think clearly.

Jungkook cocks a brow. “Shouldn’t I be asking why you’re taking a freshman class?”

You can feel your face heat up. “I-I” Why the hell were you getting nervous now? “I put off finishing the my last life sciences requirement, and I didn’t want to take human anatomy and physiology because those are two separate courses.”

“Makes sense” Jungkook bobs his head in understanding, not wording another question as the two of you scramble into the lecture hall just in the nick of time.

...

It becomes something of the norm, a routine if you will, for the next few weeks verging on months. Namely you and Jungkook showing up at 8am lecture occasionally together, other times separately. Often times he gets there before you, and less frequently, you get there before him, but whatever the case you make it a habit to try and bring two cups of coffee when you get the chance to stop by the cafe so neither of you end up falling asleep half way through. He says he’s not a morning person, but he always seems to arrive in class earlier than you on most days, saving you a seat next to him with his backpack that he removes upon your entrance.

You have to admit that in the beginning it was still a bit awkward, to see him every other day, bright and early in the morning, especially on the days you hit the snooze button one to many times and have to skip putting on makeup. You swear Jungkook is pretending when he acts like he doesn’t notice your dark eye bags and far from flawless skin, but you know he does and just chooses not to address why you look like you just rolled out of bed (or got ran over by a semi).

“Oh my god. I thought I was going to be late!” You huff as you settle down in the seat next to him.

“You know you could’ve just copied my notes right?” He grins, sliding over a pen and a sheet of blank paper he tears out of his notebook because he already knows you forgot in your frenzy to get to class.

“True” You respond casually, taking the stationary from him with gratitude. “But it’s not the same.”

It really isn’t, but that’s not genuinely the reason you not only haven’t skipped lecture all semester but have also consistently been on time, even in an impossible crunch. And as reluctant as you are to admit it, you secretly know you’re going because you know he’s going to be there waiting for you. Because let’s be real, you’ve skipped your fair share of classes in the past 3 years, and Zoology would not have been an exception had it not been for a certain Jeon Jungkook. You got used to counting on the fact that seeing him would put you in a good mood for the rest of the day, and you’re almost sure he’d be at least slightly disappointed if you didn’t show up one day. That kind of disappointment is not something you want to be held responsible for, not when his smiles makes his eyes crinkle in the corners and your heart feel all warm and fuzzy.

So despite thinking it was maybe a bad idea to put off a freshman course until your junior year, you soon come to realize you’re more than grateful you did because you also don’t think you would’ve survived through dissections without Jungkook as your lab partner.

“That freaking grasshopper was scary as fuck.” You comment as the two of you walk out of lab for the umpteenth time.

Jungkook laughs, making that signature cackling noise you’ve come to recognize from a mile away. “It was dead though.” He points out.

“My statement holds.” You shiver at the thought of how large it was, and how terrifying it looked when you were dissecting it. You hated bugs with a passion, and it didn’t matter that it was a lifeless black corpse, prior green color completely drained from being soaked in embalming fluid for god knows how long. “And it smelled horrible.”

“Not as bad as that dead bird.” Jungkook wrinkles his nose cutely.

“I think that’s only because the formaldehyde didn’t penetrate deep enough into the breast tissue. It smelled rotten.” You think back to how foul the specimen smelled, and mimic Jungkook’s nose scrunch.

“Still. I’ll never look at chicken the same way again.”

...

The first half of the semester passes by at half the speed of light. You and Jungkook see each other in class and lab three days a week and occasionally on the weekends when you have to study for an exam. He’s boyish and funny, and you learn that he’s also really competitive because he goes out of his way to memorize entire taxonomies just to beat you in study games.

“How did you get another hundred?!” You stare, wide-eyed and dumbfounded at his test score. “Unbelievable.” You can’t even ignore the hint of jealousy that’s nipping at your belly.

He shrugs pretending like he did know it was because of his competitive nature and your suggestion to make studying a game of sorts.

“And you’re not even going to thank me?” You inquire, crossing your arms and waiting to hear a declaration of gratitude from him.

“For what?” He tilts his head innocently, still playing the oblivious bystander.

You frown. “Stop pretending like you would’ve set the curve had it not been for the game I came up with.”

There’s a pause as he pretends to ponder over the statement. “You’re right” He smirks. “I wouldn’t have. Thank you…Noona.”

His emphasis on that last word makes you blush like crazy, sinking down into your scarf to hide the blossoming roses. Did he seriously just?!

Sometimes you forget that you’re still older than him because he constantly makes it a point to act like age doesn’t matter. But it’s always when you least expect it, that he chooses just the right words to make your heart pound faster than it should. The audacity.

“Well, I’m off to my next class! ” You inform abruptly.

Jungkook smiles as you hastily turn away, acting like you were going to be late, when you knew that he knew it didn’t start until the next hour. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” He yells across the widening distance between the two of you.

“Yup!” You shout back as you almost half sprint through the lawn.

In all honesty, you didn’t think a lame class like Zoology would end up being your favorite class of the semester, in fact, you were actually expecting to hate it with a passion, but something about getting to joke around with Jungkook put a smile on your face on those mornings when it was hard to get out of bed, and that’s more than you could’ve asked for.

…

A couple of days before Spring Break, Yoongi invites everyone to his “annual celebration”. It’s essentially just a small get together that he hosts at his parents’ mansion while they are out of town, so it’s not anything wild, particularly since Yoongi’s parents are a bit anal about keeping the place spotless and Yoongi himself is not a fan of big parties.

This is the first year you’ve been invited, or more accurately Taehyung and Jimin invited you because you don’t actually know Yoongi all that well, but friends of friends are usually forced to get along. That said, you’re not actually going because the they dragged you along for once. You’re going because Jungkook had asked you to go with him a few days before the inseparable pair even brought it up.

It went down something like:

“S-so uhh, a friend of mine…uh, Yoongi, is having this p-party…and I w-was wonder if maybe you want to…?”

“Go with you?” You finish the sentence for him, not even bothering to hide the amused smile that stretches across your face.

The way he still gets choked up by his nerves has always been charming in it’s own unique way, especially when contrasted to the manner you’ve witnessed him joke about anything and everything at this point. So of course you agree, forgetting about the astonished looks on all of your friends’ faces when you walk in to Yoongi’s house with Jeon Jungkook at your side.

Yoongi’s expression isn’t all that different from the way he looks bored 99% of the time. You’ve only been acquainted with the guy on a couple of rare occasions, but according to Jimin, he has quite the natural poker face.

Seokjin and Namjoon have somewhat of a pair of knowing smiles plastered on their faces, and you’re first thought is, you don’t want them to get the wrong idea. You know exactly what they are thinking, and you didn’t want them to jump to any conclusions.

Hoseok’s face is perhaps the most startled. His mouth forms a perfect “o” as his pupils dart from you to Jungkook and back to you.

“Jungkookie!” He suddenly shouts as he snaps out of his trance and runs up to the two of you still standing in the door way. He flings an arm around Yoongi who was still holding the door open as you and Jungkook proceed to remove your shoes at the entrance.

“Hyung!” Jungkook greets with a nod as the older male pats him on the shoulder.

“And this…is Y/N, right?” You look up and notice that Hoseok is now looking at you with a smile brighter than the sun. You’re slightly pleased that he still remembers you from the coffee shop incident a couple months ago.

You nod, returning a smile of your own.

He points at Jungkook and then back at you. “Are you guys finally…?”

Jungkook opens his mouth to respond, but you beat him to it.

“We’re just in the same class this semester.” Even as you hear your own response, you can’t believe it flew out of your mouth so quickly. You see Jungkook’s face drop ever so slightly from the corner of your eye, and something in your chest clenches.

You don’t really know what you and Jungkook are because you’re obviously not together in the traditional sense. You’re just friends…classmates…lab partners…or maybe more, you don’t really know. You do, however, know that you don’t want to set yourself up for getting hurt, and if that means being suspended in this ambiguous state with Jungkook, then maybe it’s better to keep it that way.

It’d be a lie to say you never thought about being more than friends, but it’s only a fleeting thought you sweep to the back of your mind whenever you’re reminded of that sting on your wrist. Seldom do you ponder over the idea of being more than friends with anyone, especially not when you know it’ll only be a fling for them before they find their destined soulmate, and you are definitely not one to go against the laws of the universe.

“I see” Hoseok nods in mild disappointment.

“Well, help yourselves to drinks and snacks” Yoongi cuts in. You had almost forgotten he was still there because he had been silent for so long.

“Guys let’s sing!” Taehyung suddenly pipes up.

“Oh god” You hear Namjoon groan in the background, but it doesn’t stop Taehyung and Jimin from giggling like little kids as they hurriedly set up the karaoke system.

It was not a surprise that they would end up being on a team. You’ve always known they were naturally talented singers, and you’ve witnessed their angelic voices first ear on more occasions than one. They know they’re good, so of course they end up going first and getting a solid 95%.

“You guys do this just to make us look bad right?” Yoongi sighs as he takes the mic Jimin conveniently hands him with a playful smile.

“No problem. We’ve got this.” Hoseok loosens his shoulders confidently and smirks. For the few seconds before the duet open their mouths, you’re almost led to believe they might give the reigning champions a run for their money. That is, until the song actually begins and you’re almost tempted to cover your ears.

It’s safe to say Hoseok and Yoongi don’t even try to stay on key. They’re hitting all the wrong notes, and they howl at the top of their lungs as if singing louder will hide their cracking voices.

“You’re turn” Hoseok says to Namjoon as the song ends.

“And don’t even try to let Seokjin do all the singing.” Yoongi adds.

Namjoon starts three pitches lower than he actually should, and suddenly goes up three pitches higher. It makes you wonder if he’s just doing it on purpose or if he’s just vocally challenged. Seokjin, however, has one of the most soothing voices you’ve ever heard, but you’re not allowed to enjoy it for long before it’s you and Jungkook’s turn.

You’re nervous to say the least, but Jungkook flashes you a reassuring smile that quells your anxiety. You’ve never been told you were a bad singer, but you weren’t amazing either and certainly nowhere near the level of Taehyung and Jimin.

When the song begins you start out softly, almost at an inaudible volume due to the fear of singing on the wrong key or messing up the lyrics, but you hear a voice so clear and calming, twirling along the melody like colorful ribbons, that you question if they accidentally forgot to turn off the original singer’s voice. You glance around but detect that no one is making a move to correct what you assumed to be a mistake, and then it hits you that it’s Jungkook. You’re so at loss for words that you’ve stopped singing completely, slowly turning your head to look at the male sitting next to you in awe. His eyes were closed, and he was fully immersed in the song like a lonely man serenading his lover. You’re mouth hangs slightly ajar, and you barely comprehend the ending of the song when his eyes flutter open to meet yours.

“As expected” Jimin sighs at the perfect score flashing on the screen.

Jungkook clears his throat and diverts his eyes the same time you do.

“Well, I kind of stopped singing like 10 seconds into the song.” You admit embarrassingly, even though it was probably obvious to everyone in the room.

“It’s ok, Y/N, it’s just for fun anyways.” Taehyung hops up to grab the mic from Jungkook. “Who’s ready for round 2?”

A series of reluctant groans is heard from Yoongi and Hoseok before Namjoon comes up with a negotiation.

“Let us rap and you’ve got a deal,” Namjoon requests, to which Taehyung and Jimin both permit, decreeing it “only fair in the spirit of the game”.

...

A couple hours later, every one is either passed out on the couch or still drunkenly singing. Yoongi’s house is more spacious than you had imagined, so you decide to have a look around and grab a breath of fresh air. One of the guest bedrooms has a nice balcony overlooking the mountainside, so you decide to do some stargazing or viewing of the enthralling cityscape in the distance. It’s the perfect setting for you to contemplate life the way you always do when you’re feeling that need for solitude.

It was a clear night, the moon was hanging on the dark indigo canvas, looming over the treetops that are partially covering the miniature skyscrapers as seen from afar. The breeze is a bit chilly, but not unbearable and the muted sounds of the night are serene and sedative.

Just as you were watching a dark cloud drift across the starry expanse, you hear a faint click and the opening of the sliding door behind you.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know you were here.” Jungkook’s voice is apologetic and soft.

“It’s ok, I just thought I’d get some fresh air.” You smile, hoping that the moonlight is bright enough for him to see that you’re not bothered by his interruption in the slightest.

He nods before sluggishly turning to leave.

“Jungkook, wait” You stop him before he steps back inside. “Do you want to talk for a bit?”

A surprised expression sweeps across his face, but just as quickly as it appeared it’s washed away as he approaches you with a relieved smile.

“Things were getting pretty crazy back there.” Jungkook chuckles weakly, trying to lighten up the stuffy atmosphere hovering over the two of you. “They’re all passed out now.”

“Yeah, I had no idea Karaoke could be that intense.”

“Haha, yea. Today was actually tame compared to some other instances.”

You grin, thinking about how hilarious Yoongi, Hoseok, and Namjoon were. “You’re really good at singing.” You comment, not meeting his eye but somehow able to see how wide they’re probably opened right now.

“T-thanks” He clears his throat and swallows. “I’ve always loved singing. I practiced only when I was alone, which used to be all the time, so I guess that explains why I got good at it. ”

“Did you ever feel lonely?” It was more of a test rather than a question. You just wanted to hear his opinion on the matter, the one topic you seem to ponder over all the damn time whether you choose to acknowledge it or not. And it somehow always ends up resulting in you convincing yourself that you’re not lonely at all, and that you simply enjoy being alone.

You still believe it’s indisputably true.

Jungkook doesn’t respond right away, taking the time to really think about your rather impulsive inquiry. He turns his attention to you, and you really don’t have a choice but to maintain eye contact because you had initiated the question and he was relaying an answer.

“Sometimes I feel like I can have all the people in the world and still feel lonely.”

Your breathing slows to a stand still.

“And it’s those times when I’m alone that I feel like I’m with the perfect amount of company. It’s like I can only win by battling lonely with lonely. ” He chuckles. “Ugh, I don’t know what I’m saying anymore.” He drops his gaze, and if it weren’t for the darkness you would probably be able to see the color drenching his features.

You cautiously take a few steps forward, making sure not to startle him. “How do you feel now?”

You can see his lip part as he looks back up at you who is now only inches away from his face. Lifting a tentative hand, you reach up to cup his soft cheek, feeling the warmth of his tender skin in the center of your palm. It’s the first time you’ve examined him from such proximity, the curvature of his nose, the slight pout of his lip, and his eyes- a pair of crystal clear orbs that are shimmering under the moonlight, glittering with the light of a thousand stars.

Moving forward, you can sense his hesitation, but he doesn’t inch back. Instead he leans in closer, lifting his own hand to grab your wrist and pull you towards him until your bodies were almost in contact.

And then his lips are melting onto yours.

Your eyes are closed but you can feel him. You can feel the way he releases his grip of your wrist as he uses both hands to caress your face. Your own hold on his cheek is broken as you lose yourself to the sensation of his soothing lips enveloping yours, motions slowly paced with a trained patience that tells you he’s still afraid. Initially, it’s frustratingly delicate, the way he holds back as if you would suddenly pull away if he were too urgent- too forceful, but gradually the momentum picks up and the swirling ways of his tongue incites you to press your body against his, erasing any thought of turning back, like an object hitting escape velocity setting off on its way to the end of the universe.

He supports you against the sliding glass door as he continues to drink you in; hands clasped around your hips as you hastily reach backwards and slide the door open so the both of you can stumble back inside. You fall onto the bed, gasping for air as he cages you underneath him.

“Are you sure about this?” He whispers in between breaths as he searches for the answer in your eyes.

“Positive” You answer with a confidence you weren’t aware you had, but you were ready to finally give in to that desire buried deep within your heart, the one you’ve ignored all this time because you too, were afraid.

He nods gently before connecting his lips with yours once more, working his way down your neck and igniting a flame in your stomach. His hands begin roaming parts of your body that you didn’t think he had the guts to explore, and it makes you question if he’s just as nervous as you are or if you were perhaps analyzing this situation more than you should. Your thoughts are racing as he tugs your pants down, coming back up after he does and taking your lips into his once more. You falteringly start to unbutton his shirt, but it so painstakingly sloppy that he lifts a hand to stop you after only two buttons, pausing to stand up and throw it off completely instead. You can feel your readiness increase as you eye his toned torso, the one you’ve had unspeakable thoughts of since the day you tended to his fever.

His eyes trace along your own bare figure, laid on the bed with no protective barrier, nothing to hide any of your self-proclaimed flaws, and that’s when you’re hit with an instant of vulnerability right before he leans back on top of you. He dips his hand under your panties, an action that causes you to emit a loud gasp and quickly stretch down to halt him, clutching on his arm a little tighter than you intended.

He freezes in place. “Do you want to stop?” He questions in concern, searching for a signal within your eyes.

You shake your head. “Sorry, I panicked.” You murmur, feeling even more heat rise to your face.

He flashes you a faint half smile, giving you a light nod as he proceeds to carefully slide two fingers between your already moistened folds. He plunges them in and out, wiggling in fluid motions, and using his thumb to rub your clitoris in small circular drawings, sensually spreading the fluid that is being released by your arousal. You feel the knot in your lower abdomen tighten, and it’s only emphasized by Jungkook’s own stifled breathing as he continues to dust tiny kisses down your neck to your exposed chest.

“J-Jungkook” You moan rather timidly as he stops to look back up at your pleading eyes. It was embarrassing to admit it, but you couldn’t wait much longer. You needed to feel more of him inside of you. You wanted him to fill that physical hollowness, even if it was only going to be temporary.

He somehow understands what you want without you having to state it explicitly, and you’re relieved when you see him unzipping his jeans, the crotch area of which was already giving away his own unhindered arousal.

“Are you ready?” He voices in a rich timbre, making an excited shudder run down your spine. You nod, straddling him by the waist.

He leans down to leave one last peck on your lips before he begins to enter you, sinking his length into your taut entrance. You can hear a guttural moan emanate from his throat as a reaction to how tight you actually are and how good you’re making him feel. Each of his movements is restrained but contain a trace of primal hunger that leaves you wanting more as he thrusts in and out of you after you’ve adjusted to his girth.

Never once did he lose himself in his own pleasure and forget to tend to your needs, making sure to read every little change in expression, every subtle jerk that maybe meant his movement had hurt you. You think Jungkook’s determined gaze is deceivingly sweet and misleadingly comforting because it’s erasing all of the doubt that you don’t actually have a soulmate, all of the invasive thoughts that you don’t deserve to be loved. It’s wiping away every last tear you’ve cried in the past, when you were lost and had to tell yourself that you’re fine amidst the hidden pain. Jungkook’s dazzling eyes are telling you that he will cherish you for the rest of his life, and despite the skepticism that all of this may be a dream, in that moment, you allow yourself to believe it’s real.

“Jungkook, that feels so good” You reassure him as you throw your head back against the pillow, prompting him to speed up and eliciting a louder cry to escape your lips.

His palm rises to hold your face because he didn’t think his gaze was enough to capture how beautiful you are to him, how much you’ve meant to him all this time. And in that momentary flickering, you can see the welling of his eyes, the gathering of tears that make his obsidian irises gleam with an insurmountable volume of stardust. It brings you to a transitory calm in the heat of the moment, a fleeting pause before the burning desire comes flooding back and you can feel yourself nearing the brink. You catch a glimpse of his eye crinkles as he squeezes them shut in pleasure, biting his lip and trying to delay his release. But another moan from you sends him hurling towards the edge with you chasing after him only seconds later. The last thrust drains him of all energy as he falls on top of you, chest rising and falling in rhythm with yours as everything else dissipates.

That feeling of your tangled bodies finding each other in this sea of isolation is filling the all the spaces that were once left empty. You make an effort to remember the warmth of his body, the scent of his hair, and the dull vibration of his pulsating member still inside of you, but you’re mind is too foggy to do so. Jungkook slowly rolls off of you, shifting into a position where he’s cradling you with his torso before drifting into the deep depths of slumber.

...

Hours pass before you wake up to the dim glow of the moonlight seeping in through the opened curtains. The male next to you is still sound asleep, breathing peacefully through parted lips. You swallow the lump in your throat as you sit up, making sure you cause the bed to move as little as possible as to not wake Jungkook up. Cautiously you stand up, tug on your clothes, and tiptoe over to the door, forcing yourself to not look back at his sleeping form.

He stirs awake, sensing your intent to leave, but just as you were about to turn the doorknob and step out of the room, you hear him whimper faintly.

You freeze in place, dropping the hand that you had lifted to twist the doorknob. It was as if the planet had stopped revolving and the surroundings had frozen in time. You turn back to Jungkook, the boy lying alone in the bed that seemed too big for how small he looked in that moment, and something in your chest constricts, robbing the air from your lungs.

“Please, don’t leave me.” He whispers pleadingly, with glossy eyes that contain entire galaxies, star systems that you cannot even dream of reaching, and looking into them in that infinitesimal second, you realize that he is, indeed, not your home.

He is not the comfort of a place that you ache to return to at the end of time and are capable of doing so, the destination every wanderer will eventually conclude their seemingly never-ending journeys. No, Jungkook is not your home. He is your hiraeth, something that does not exist in this tangible realm. He is that place that you will never be able to grasp because it is not actually there, it’s not real and never will be, but your heart will continuously chase after it anyways.

So you don’t leave him.

You stay.

…

“Oh come on Y/N, we’ve been planning this for months!” Taehyung exasperates, reminding you that he and Jimin have been planning this summer road trip since the begging of the year.

Of course you still remember. How could you possibly forget?

“It wouldn’t be the same without you and Jungkook” Jimin insists, almost in a whining tone as he nudges your shoulder.

You weren’t planning on rejecting their offer anyways. You just wanted to see their genuine reactions to you pretending to be on the fence, being a tease and all. In reality, you loved road trips, camping, and travelling the country. You can practically already see the beautiful scenery that Jungkook will capture on camera, as you had learned of his love of photography and filmmaking not too long ago.

The image of his smiling face pops up in your mind, making you smile fondly before turning back to Taehyung and Jimin.

“Guys, we’re obviously going” You roll your eyes playfully as identical looks of relief wash across both of their faces simultaneously.

You liked the way they accepted your relationship with Jungkook, how seamlessly it blended in to your friend group dynamic, with virtually no objections or awkward feelings. It was like everything had finally fallen into place.

And maybe they were all still concerned for when Jungkook actually finds his soulmate, still wary of the day he might leave you for someone else, the precise thing that had held you back from accepting him for so long. But you somehow find yourself dwelling over these fears less and less as time passes, because Jungkook makes you feel courageous. He renders you strong enough to believe that everything will be ok in the end no matter what happens, and for now, that’s more than enough.

...

It was the end of spring semester when you receive a text from Jungkook telling you there was something important he wanted to say to you in person. He had just messaged you about meeting him by the duck pond near campus, the place students liked to read under willow trees and come to feed their expired bread to the variety of bird species in the area. The blossoming spring was a perfect setting to take a nice walk outside and enjoy the mild weather, but you find yourself racing down the sidewalk because you were already twenty minutes late.

“Y/N?”

“Jungkook, sorry I’m late. I had to turn in my thesis paper last minute, that crazy professor wanted a hard copy. Like what century is he living in?” You shake your head, still trying to catch your breath.

“No worries. I just got here myself.”

You eye his half eaten granola bar, and the rest of the crumpled wrappers he was squeezing within his palms. Jungkook was either a fast eater or he was lying to make you feel better for being nearly half an hour late.

You barely hold back the urge to swoop down and hug him dearly. “So what did you want to tell me?” You query instead, sitting down on the patch of grass next to him, dropping your backpack and leaning next to him.

“I-I, ummm…”

“Or did you just want to see me?” You help him out; completely familiar with the way he gets too nervous to form coherent thoughts at times.

“Yeah, I really did.” He sighs, sitting up more to make room for you to rest your head against his chest as he leaned against the tree.

A moment of silence passes as the two of you gaze out at the pond, ducks swimming in sync and the occasional elegant swan making its way across the water.

“I use to come here a lot by myself.” You say, eyes still focused on the way the warm breeze causes the droopy branches of the willow trees lining the pond to sweep along the water’s surface. “I enjoyed my time alone, and although I’m reluctant to admit this even to myself, the reason I was so obsessed with solitude was because it made me feel like I was alongside someone I really wanted to be with.” You chuckle, realizing you sounded like you were spewing nonsense. “Sorry, I’m not making any sense am I?”

Jungkook doesn’t respond right away, but you know he’s thinking about something from the way he twirls his fingers in your hair, separating the silky strands and taking his time to ponder over your words. “No, I get it.” He voices. “That feeling of always thinking about someone even if that person isn’t real. So we never feel lonely even when we are alone.”

“Wow, that’s way better than I could’ve described it.”

You feel his body shift slightly as he wraps his arm around your shoulder a little tighter, and you can’t help but reflect on the fact that the sensation of being with Jungkook felt almost exactly like the alone times you treasured so much. As impossible as it sounds, it’s like he was somehow always with you disguised as that person who isn’t real or maybe it’s the other way around.

“So there actually is something I wanted to tell you today, and I’m really not sure if this is right time or if I should just wait because I might just be messing things up by saying this to you and I’m so nervous right now- god, I’m never going to be good at this am I?” He closes his eyes and sighs deeply, making you giggle at his flustered state. Truthfully, you’ll always find it extremely endearing, and you wished he wasn’t so hard on himself.

“Jungkook, it’s ok. Just tell me, I’m all ears.” You reassure him, feeling the rise and fall of his chest and being able to hear the rapid pounding of his heart as you nuzzled against his chest.

“I love you.” He says, voice so soft and airy that it was almost carried away by the wind before it could make it’s way to you ear.

Your initial reaction is not of disbelief or skepticism because you somewhat already knew about his feelings for you. And it wasn’t because he had already gotten in your pants and made love to you and it also wasn’t a deceiving result of you own feelings for him. Jungkook had made you feel special with his nonverbal gestures and shy actions for a long time coming, even when he was pretending to be a douchebag and acting unlike his real self to impress the people around him. It was always clear to you that he had placed you somewhere deep within his heart with his showing of his vulnerable side and the seeping of his true thoughts that he only revealed to you. But the weight of the actual words that escaped his lips just now comes as a slow swelling of your heart and makes a home in widening smile gradually stretching across your features.

“I love you too, Jungkook.” You whisper back, hugging him just a tad bit tighter, even though you knew he would never disappear.

It’s astonishing how much importance you used to put on the concept of finding a soulmate, that one person who was meant for you and promised to make you feel whole. You’ve come to learn over time that soulmates are not the final destination; your other half is not the ultimate goal in life or the only window to happiness and security, because in the end, those things are only constructs of your mind and ways that dictate how you ultimately perceive your own reality. Everyone is on this endless journey in search of that which cannot be found in this world or even the next, discovering consolation and solace in the spaces created by things we wished were there to fill the void.

Jungkook may not be your soulmate, but he’s the closest thing in this universe to that which your heart yearns for, and in a way it makes him mean so much more to you than a destined soulmate or an definitive home.

“So, this might make me sound grossly hypocritical, but I never actually received a soulmate.” You confess as you tilt your head up to read his reaction to your statement.

“What do you mean?” He questions, sitting up so he can look into your eyes because he truly cared, and he could tell just by the hesitation and tone of your voice that this was something you were reluctant to share but were doing so because you felt that it was the right time.

You flash him a faint smile before fiddling with your sleeve, biting your bottom lip as extend your upturned wrist towards him. There’s no hue of surprise washing over his face, or any kind of shocked response flickering past his irises for that matter. He just stares down at the horizontal line that you’ve put in the utmost effort to conceal ever since the fateful day it showed up on the tender skin of your wrist with a fondness that you don’t really understand.

“Jungkook?” You whisper, afraid that you might’ve scared him or made him change his mind about you.

He doesn’t respond vocally, still gazing at the exposed skin, pale and raw from the lack of exposure to sunlight over the years. He cautiously lifts his hand to place on your wrist, rubbing the area gently with the caressing touches of his quivering fingertips. You see his eyelids flutter up to glance at you momentarily with glistening eyes and the faintest of smiles. He doesn’t say anything, but instead turns his own arm over, slowly lifting the sleeve of his shirt cuff.

And beneath the fabric that is filtering away the harshness of the world is a marking that almost stops time:

An identical black horizontal line, matching the very one tattooed on your own wrist.

...

#bts fanfic #bts smut #bangtan bookclub #btswriters #armiesnet #bts scenarios #jungkook scenarios #jungkook smut #jungkook fanfic #bts imagines #jungkook imagines #bts soulmate au #jungkook x reader

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iamsonyeondone · 6 years

Text

heir!seventeen // jeon wonwoo

♥ fluffy

♥ 2.3k words

♥ summary: falling in love with your best friend was quite inevitable but confessing your feelings was a choice - but that’s not how your friends see it

ok so being the only child and only heir to your father's company is absolute shit

you have to go to these obnoxious parties all the time and personally get to know the sponsors and partners of the company for future references

and sometimes its nice to see familiar faces

but 90% of the time its an old guy who looks like he might die any minute because their wives planned the murder

ANYWAYS, its rare to go to a party and see someone your age

so whenever you do, you always make the effort to get to know them

and one of them in particular, has been going to the same parties as you

and look who it is!! jeon wonwoo who now becomes your partner in crime whenever you guys attend the same party

and it also helps that his father is one of the closest partners to your father's company

so you guys see each other almost all the time

and it's been going on since you were old enough to grasp about financing and stuff

aka since you were 13

most of the time, you try to run away from your father's watchful eyes and go sneaking around with wonwoo if there's good snacks around

and sometimes he'll bring his best friend jun because he knows where all the good stuff is placed

no, not alcohol i don't allow underage drinking in my christian suburbs

but more like those extravagant desserts that chefs make for the restauraunts in the hotels

"wonwu, you already took 2 of those and i only took one you greedy butt >:(("

"buts its too good D:"

"fine then you'll have to ask the chef for another one since you ate the portion we were suppose to cut in half"

and it's a never-ending cycle of sneaking around and finding good places to hide from these people full of money

because all they ever talk about is growth, expansion and partnerships

and its much more interesting to listen to wonwoo's point of view

because he doesn't only talk about the positivities but also other things he have suspicioned about the other companies

like theres this one dude who only speaks to the higher ups and suck up to them

and even 13 year old wonwoo caught sight of him and told his dad about how fishy the guy was being

a year later and the man was arrested for illegal money lending

and hearing his stories are way more interesting than having to focus on just one aspect

because wonwoo CAN talk alot if its something he's interested in

so sometimes he makes references to games whenever he sees fit because its way more easier for a teenager to understand

and he's generally really nice and open-minded for a scrawny 13 year old

so when the both of you got enrolled into the same high school and knock into each other during orientation

the both of you were so delighted!!

so delighted to the point you almost screamed and embarrassed him in front of a huge crowd of a thousand people

and he doesnt look any different than the suits he wear but he looks more like his age with the uniform on

and so did you!!

from then on, the both of you introduced each other to one another's friends

and had lunch with each other's mutual friends

and it's way more comfortable than the stuffy chandelier-lit halls you've gotten used to

but the both of you agree that the melon bread sold at school tasted way more better than the desserts at the hotels

its way more simpler than having to disect some kind of sphere structure with a concocted cream in it or something

and sooner or later, your friends have come to realize how they feel left out when the both of you talk about the parties

and they don't mean it in a rude way!!

because seeing the both of you light up about a topic that you guys simultaneously had in your heads is like watching some kind of twin telepathy

and sometimes soonyoung likes to tease wonwoo that the two of you were so similar to the point that you guys might end up dating

and soonyoung says it when you're not around because that one time he did, the both of you didn't talk to each other for a whole week just to 'prove' to the others that you guys weren't alike at all

and papa scoups didn't like seeing wonu get more frustrated when they play games together at his house

and also mainly because they keep losing even if their opponents were terrible

so papa scoups did his job to give soonyoung an earful and make sure he doesnt bring it up around the both of you again

and tbh, ever since that day, you couldn't really see wonwoo in the same light again

you could still remember how he looked like when he was a quiet 13 year old

but he seemed more dashing and charming than he used to be

even in the school uniform, he looked as heart-throbbing as he did when he wears his black suit to the parties

and you just push those thoughts away because wonwoo?? the guy you nerd out with?? looks damn hot?? i dont know her

and wowee, the same goes for wonwoo

because he's finding your laugh to be more addicting even if you snort from time to times

and the way your eyes crinkle when you smile so wide and it just clenches his heart

mmm love me some best friends pining for one another

but you guys try to avoid the thoughts and continue your normal routine as if nothing happened

the both of you think you guys are doing Great™ at hiding your feelings but ooo boi

its always either one of you admiring each other subconciously

and always bringing up about the other person when they're not around

and your friends are all getting really frustrated because why aren't you guys feeding them #powercouple content??

so being the best friends that they were planned a little something

they planned that soonyoung would bring up the dating topic again but with a twist

it is for you guys to prove to your friends that the both of you didn't look good together

aka give it a damn try or neither one of you will know you airheads >:((

but of course with papa scoups permission because they wouldnt want to have to deal with a nagging old man in a teenager's body

so the plan took place during lunch and just when the both of you brought up about a past event, soonyoung brings up the topic once more

but jeonghan was quick to interrupt and add on the extra spicy details ;))

and the both of you are like "FinE but We'll sAy wE toLd You sO whEn iT doeSnt woRk oUt"

so you being competitive holds wonwoo'ss hand, startling him and turning him bright red as you turned your head towards jeonghan with fire in your eyes

"stop looking at me like that, your new boyfriend wonwoo will get jealous," jeonghan teased as wonwoo has his mouth gaping like a goldfish

and the thought of him riles him up a little but not to the point where he got really annoyed

so he simply brushed it off and confidently said that "they can do whatever they want, it's not like we're super entitled or whatever,"

and you're just like riGht you guys aren't 'actually' dating

but it wouldn't hurt if you saw it that way right?

from then on, wonwoo would try his best to surprise you with something before class, like melon bread or your favourite drink

and then he would just internally scream because he's always been doing that anyway

and walking you to your next class?? he's also done that ever since the first day of school

and he's trying to think of something else he could do to surprise you while he waited for your class to finish

but then a guy from your class walks over to your desk with a smirk grin, hand on your desk as he bends down to see you eye to eye

and you're like??? we've never spoken to each other since the term started?? what do you want from me??

and this guy just has the audacity to look you up and down like a piece of meat

and Let Me Tell You, when wonwoo saw how that guy didn't give you respect and the space that you desperately needed

he barged into the class and peeled the guy away from your desk

"what matters do you have with her?"

and the guy scoffs, sending him a side eye "who do you think you are? her boyfriend or something? the last time i heard, she was single and not dating her best friend,"

and taking advantage of his fake title, he grabs you bg the waist and brings you closer to him

"you must've heard that a long time ago. they're mine, so if you could kindly back off and mind your own damn business,"

AND EVERYONE IS OOING SO LOUDLY that the guy just staggers backwards and with that glare that wonwoo was shooting at the guy, he backs off and bows down with an apology

and he's so lucky that the class had already ended because he just whisks you away from the crowd

because he's blushing bright red and turning sweaty with all those eyes at him that the pits of his blazer might just soak through

oh boy your heart is beating so loudly that youre afraid he might hear

dont worry his heart beating pretty loudly too

and you're just so surprised by this confident wonwoo that you couldnt help but fall deeper in love with him

would it be like this if the both of you actually dated?? to be treated so lovingly by someone you loved with all your heart??

but everything soon grew awkward once again as he let go of your hand and clear his throat while you brushed through your hair

“im sorry-” the both of you simultaneously apologised, earning a confused look from wonwoo as you blushed furiously under his gaze

“what are you sorry for?” he inquired

“it’s just- you having to rescue me from that weird situation,,,”

you trailed off before wonwoo lets out a soft chuckle

“how many times have i saved you from a creepy jerk at a party? Im just doing my job as a best friend,”

and then it hit you

is that all he ever saw you as ?? a best friend ??

“wait what?”

and without you noticing, you had spilled the words and feelings you had kept for so long

“I- I’m sorry Wonwoo i dont know what got over me, just forget it. we better get to class,”

but a hand tugs you back away from wherever you were running to as your face collides into something, or someone

and a pair of arms prevents you from escaping as your surprised yelp was muffled by his chest

“Do you want this to be an actual relationship?”

and you’re speechless

because one minute he’s saying you’re his best friend and now he’s saying about making this real

“wonwoo- please I just- we’re friends and we wanted to prove we were just that-”

“then are you going to ignore my feelings? for the sake of proving to people that we don’t have something that’s obviously there?”

he spoke up, bringing you to face him as you held your breath from the short distance between the both of you

“i can already feel them saying i told you so,” you trailed off, your eyes trailing down to his lips and back to his glistening dark eyes

“at least I’m not single at the end of the day, unlike those losers,”

he chuckles, bringing your face closer to his until both your lips touch and melt at the contact

“i tOld yoU So,” a voice echoed through the hallway as you see Minghao and Jun running through the corridor, assuming that they were going to spread the good news to the rest

“looks like I have an actual date to the parties now”

and your relationship from then on was pretty much the same

except the feeling of sneaky arms around your waist when youre talking to another heir at a party and the dominant gaze you felt beside you

or the fact that wonwoo now leaves cheesy post-it notes on your favourite bread and drink when he has to rush to his own class

ps he makes sure he writes them before he goes to school because yknow the boys will never let him live if they saw those cute notes

because he’ll either write his favourite lines from books that reminded him of you or add gaming pick up lines that you may or may not understand

but you know he puts efforts in those so you always give him a peck on his forehead or his cheek to show your appreciation

because jeon wonwoo isnt the type to naturally show his affection

and because pda isnt really his thing

but dont worry because he showers you in kisses and cuddles you as much as you want when the both of you are alone

aka whenever the both of you sneak out from parties or when the both of you meet up at each other’s houses

just saying but both your parents fully support this relationship because it ensures that this partnership continues for the next generation

like they are So totally not planning your wedding already they are obv yall are so cute wtf

a/n: i finallly got my laptop back but i don’t have as much motivation or inspiration to write so if you guys want to send in requests, feel free to do so ^^

#kpop #imagine #imagines #scenario #scenarios #fanfic #fanfiction #reader insert #x reader #jeon wonwoo #wonwoo #seventeen #'svt #17 #pledis #heir au

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l0vegl0wsinthedark · 7 years

Text

The Sexual Awakening of An Innocent Pureblood, Dating The Randy Prat Who Lived - Ch.18

Okay, so it’s entirely possible that you guys are going to hate @bixgirl1 and me by the end of this chapter.

We don’t quite have anything to say for ourselves. *hides grin*

But remember that the next post is right around the corner and that neither @bixgirl1 nor I are fond of unhappy endings/pointless angst, so please, please try not to hate us too much? We love you all so much LOL

Here’s chapter 17 for those of you who need a quick recap, and here’s the masterlist for those of you who are feeling ambitious and want to read the whole darn fic again lololol

Contains: flirting, jealousy, a huge fucking fight, mild angst (and a cliffhanger, fair warning, sorry omg lol)

Chapter 18: A Pub, Two Purebloods and A Storm

~The Charmed Whistle, Friday Night~

Harry, raising his voice over the din: You’re out, Draco. Want another?

Draco, bright eyed as he looks around at Harry: Oh– yes, please. *grins back when Harry winks fondly and sidles away*

Handsome Wizard: *sidles up to Draco after a moment* Hey.

Draco, a little startled: Oh. Er… Hi? *bewildered at the blinding smile he gets* Do we– do I know you?

Handsome Wizard: Well, I’m Marc. You’re Draco Malfoy, right? I’ve– *eyes him up and down* –noticed you around. *holds out hand, squeezing Draco’s when he automatically takes it* I’m Marc.

Draco, one corner of his mouth lifting: You said that already. *notices the way Marc’s brown eyes linger on his mouth* *slightly flustered* Are you– did you just want to say hello?

Marc: *smiling wickedly* Well, I’d rather hoped it might lead to more than that eventually, but yes. You don’t find too many pure-blooded, good-looking wizards in establishments like this one. *idly stirs his drink; leans in* So it’s important to take advantage of every opportunity you get, right?

Draco, gaping slightly at the unabashed come-on: *blushes slightly* I wouldn’t have guessed you to be a Pureblood– *eyes the tattoo curling out from beneath the sleeve of his muscle t-shirt, the elaborately styled hair* What’s your family name?

Marc: Asher. My family is mainly in France; we’re cousins to the Macmillan line, if that helps the association. *steps a bit closer, laughs* Sorry, it’s hard to hear over all this noise. So what are you doing here tonight? You seem far too–refined for a pub. Like you’d be more comfortable in a place that offers a tasting menu. Which, by the way–that new restaurant on Diagon? Mine. *brushes the back of Draco’s hand, locking eyes with him and grinning* We have a tasting menu…

Draco, twitching at the touch but biting his lip as he stares back: You own Pur Bonheur? *eyes widening* You’re Marcus Asher, of course! My father even visited with yours a few times while in Marseille! I remember him mentioning Atticus Asher had impeccable taste in wine and yet could barely hold down two glassfuls. *they both laugh softly*

Marc, shrugging: *chuckles* That’s the place. *eyes take on a playful cast* Fortunately, I didn’t inherit Father’s lack of tolerance to spirits. *pauses* I actually remember you; you came with him once, I think. But four years is a much bigger age difference at twelve than it is at thirty, and I had no interest in making friends. *quirks an eyebrow* Back then, at least. …More fool, me. What do you do with yourself, these days? You work at the Ministry, right?

Draco, nodding, his eyes pleased and twinkling: Department of Trademarks, Patents and Licenses. *tilts head* If you filed for a license for your place, it didn’t go through me… *teasing* If you’re established illegally, I know people in the DMLE.

Marc: *delighted; raises eyebrows* Yeah? It’s good to know people. Better to know them well. *brushes Draco’s hand more deliberately* I understand this is very forward, but you’re–extremely attractive.

Draco, laughing softly: Is that a fact? Are you this forward with everyone or do you withhold the charm for the Purebloods?

Marc, voice going smooth: *disarmingly honest* The Purebloods, usually. Family expectations and all that; you know how it goes. This is just the first time I’ve ever actually– *looks at Draco’s mouth for another, longer moment*–really meant it. I notice you don’t have a drink. Would you like me to get you one?

Draco, shifting awkwardly: Oh, I mean… *chews on lip as he looks at the way Marc is nearly pressed against him* It’s really not… necessary or anything.

Marc, dipping his head a bit, closer to Draco’s ear: I don’t mind. Here, try mine. It’s a new lime thing. I’m considering serving it at the restaurant. *passes his glass into Draco’s startled hand, fingers touching his* If you like it, I definitely will. Maybe I can convince you to have it there, too.

Draco, after a moment’s hesitation: I really shouldn’t be sipping from others’ drinks– *takes a quick taste* *shudders and wiggles his nose at the sourness, swallowing and grinning sheepishly at Marc’s easy laugh* That’s…got quite the kick to it. *hands the glass back, smiling openly as their fingers brush again* *twinkling* Don’t serve this at your restaurant unless you’re offering everyone free vials of Hangover Potion to go with.

Marc, smiling widely: Maybe just to the customers I like. Listen, Draco– Can I call you Draco? *places light hand on his forearm*

Draco, leaning closer, now very slightly breathless: Well, that is my name, so…

Marc, eyes glinting with arousal: *licks lips* I was wondering if you might want to get out of here. *slightly suggestive* Go some place more quiet, if you’re not waiting for anyone?

Draco, suddenly pulling back, face etched with guilt: I– Actually, I’m here with–

Harry, appearing out of nowhere: Hey, babe. Sorry that took so long. *hands a glass to Draco; holds out hand* Hi. I’m Harry Potter. *mouth ticks up in a smile that is somehow equal parts grim and friendly* And you are?

Marc: *taken aback* H-hi. Marc Asher. *limply shakes Harry’s hand, glancing back and forth between him and Draco, narrowing his eyes at the light, amused shrug Draco gives him*

Harry, easily: Nice to meet you. How do you two know each other? *slides arm around Draco’s waist and stares at Marc*

Marc, frowning uncomfortably: Uhm–

Draco, turning into Harry’s chest: *softly, tactfully* We don’t. Marc was only telling me about his restaurant - Pur Bonheur, remember we wanted to make reservations, love?

Harry, nodding thoughtfully: Right, the fancy new place that all the… *hesitates* Purebloods have been raving about. I actually already have reservations there; I was going to surprise you.

Marc, latching on to this: Well, we’d be honoured, of course, Mr–Harry. And Draco is always welcome.

Harry, pursing lips: *watches Marc intently until he begins to fidget* *voice vaguely challenging* Is that so?

Draco, gently: Let’s go find a booth? *turning to Marc with an apologetic but distant smile* It was great to meet you. Perhaps we’ll run into you again at Pur?

Marc, relieved, edging away: Sure, sure. Have a good night.

Draco, reaching in to kiss Harry’s cheek: *low* You’re not against using that innate ability you have to scare the shit out of people, are you?

Harry, pulling away dismissively: *voice flat* I don’t know what you’re talking about. *looks around; gestures* There’s a booth that’s clearing. *avoids Draco’s eyes as he leads him over with an arm still clamped firmly about his waist* *casually* You two didn’t know each other? You seemed awfully familiar.

Draco, shaking his head at once: No, absolutely not. He– *flushes guiltily* –he just came over to say hello.

Harry: Oh. *subtle scoff* Okay. *grabs menu and doesn’t look back up* So what did you want?

~Harry’s house, two hours later~

Harry, impatiently brushing water out of his hair:*under his breath* Fucking goddamned rain. *takes wand and dries himself, leaving Draco dripping in the hallway* *gruffly* I’m getting a drink. …You want one? *heads to liquor cabinet without waiting for an answer*

Draco, frowning but quickly fumbling around for his wand: *casts spells to dry and warm himself through lightly chattering teeth* D-d'you have any brandy? *follows in him inside* Merlin, I’m freezing.

Harry, smirking: It’s August, Draco. It’ll warm up. And if it doesn’t, your warming… charms… are exemplary. *gracelessly splashes some brandy into a glass and passes it over without glancing Draco’s way* *glares into his own tumbler, then drains it in one long gulp* I’m off to bed. Try not to wake me if you decide to stay, yeah? *brushes past him*

Draco, stumbling slightly as he steps back to make way: *slowly* If I “decide to stay"? *just as Harry is about to disappear into his room* Potter.

Harry, halting, back rigid: *turns, jaw working* Yes, Malfoy– if you decide to stay, show a little courtesy and do not wake me. Or is that too far out your experience? *muttering* Not that much seems to be, these days.

Draco, cold fury building visibly in him: What was that? *takes a few steps closer* What the fuck is wrong with you?

Harry, grinding his teeth: *snaps* What’s wrong with you? Bored already, Malfoy?

Draco, incredulously angry, eyes flashing: What the fuck are you talking about? Bored of what? This fucking argument? Yes.

Harry, glaring furiously: *steps closer, hands fisted* You want to pretend to not know– *the pictures on the shelves begin to rattle* Fine. Go. You might as well anyway, right?

Draco, expression suddenly going unnervingly impassive: …Go. You want me to leave? *lip curling* And you’re obviously not going to offer an explanation for why you’ve been acting like a temperamental piece of shit all night?

Harry, derisive: You know, the one thing I never accused you of being was stupid, Malfoy. You know exactly why I’ve been upset all evening. And if you don’t, we’ll be adding another descriptor to the list of things you can do. *snide* It’s getting pretty long, isn’t it?

Draco, eyes going thoughtful even as his mouth remains pressed into a thin line: Upset about– *eyes widening fractionally before going flat* Marcus.

Harry, not noticing books shooting off the bookcase at the mention of his name: What, you thought I didn’t notice? *gives a bark of crazed laughter, eyes dark and dangerous* So maybe it’s not a matter of you being stupid; just of you thinking that I am!

Draco, suddenly hurling his tumbler of brandy at Harry: *hissing through bared teeth* Notice what?! What the fuck is it that you think I did?! What the fuck are you accusing me of?!

Harry, ducking to the side: *roars back furiously as the glass shatters behind him and a window shatters from the force of his magic* You wanted to fuck him! I fucking saw you, Draco! Sipping from his drink and touching him, letting him smell your goddamned hair! *curls lip, disgusted* Now that you’ve learned everything you need to know, it’s time to move on to a proper Pureblood, isn’t it?

Draco, retreating by several steps, looking completely horrified: *shakes his head wildly, mouth trembling* I– Harry, No! I wasn’t– I didn’t– Oh my god, I don’t want to– to f-fuck him!

Harry, talking over him, unable to stop: *sharp, biting* You did, you know things now, innocent, charming little Draco, so fucking eager to learn about sex but never says a goddamned thing about how he feels when I try to bring it up. It all makes perfect fucking sense now, why you would even bother with me, doesn’t it? *magic snapping and crackling around him* You needed someone to train you up right so you could find the wizard you could bring home to your parents. Well fuck that. I’ve wasted nearly six fucking months waiting for this to happen and I’m done now. *turns, starts to stalk away* Taught you everything you need, right? I’ll see you around, Malfoy.

Draco, screaming furiously: Come the fuck back here, you arrogant maniac! *eyes burning as he glares at Harry who turns back to face him* *slowly advancing on him* “Bother with you”? “Train me up”?! *nastily* Is that what you’ve been doing, Potter? Training me? I didn’t ask to be trained, you arsehole! I didn’t ask you to waste six months on me! *bellows with his hands fisted by his sides* Why didn’t you just toss me aside when you discovered I was a virgin?! I wasn’t pretending to be innocent! I was always honest with you!

Harry, crowding Draco and speaking right into his face: *scowls thunderously* You know why. You know exactly what I thought this was. I’ve said it in every fucking way I can think of except for the one way you you don’t want to let me. And you never once– *sneering* But I guess you can claim the honesty part, right Malfoy? Merlin knows you’ve mentioned the Pureblood thing enough. I just hope he’s appreciative of all the work you did getting ready for him. *steely* By the way, the reservations were in two weeks. Feel free to use them to meet up with whatshisname.

Draco, red in the face and breathless with fury: *shoves Harry hard in the chest* What the fuck do you keep going on about Purebloods for?! Merlin, since when did you become a fanatic, Potter?! *leaning in to sneer nastily at him* And what have I not let you do, hmm? What the fuck kind of restriction have I cast on you?! On what you do to me or say to me in this fucking relationship?! I’ve– *breaks off for a second, jaw clenching as he grinds his teeth in frustration* I’ve been practically throwing myself at you for weeks now. You barely touch me, you never stay over at mine anymore and now– *voice cracking even as his eyes seemingly shoot sparks* –now you have the gumption to ask me to leave because you assumed I was entertaining the attentions of another man? I just– I can’t– *splutters for words in his anger*

Harry, cracking out another cutting laugh: I’m the fanatic? Me? You’re the one who brings it up all the fucking time– I use the wrong fork and you fucking excuse me to the waiter; I break some old dishes –which I repaired– and you tell me how important tradition is to Purebloods, not that I would know; you even fucking told me–*stepping closer, chest heaving harshly*–when you tried to break up with me, months ago, that you had to be with someone who was a Pureblood! Jesus, Malfoy, that’s really rich, coming from you. *looks away, voice dropping icily* And I never touch you? I blow you every bloody time we’re together! And yeah, maybe I’ve held off on the last bit but out of fucking concern that I might hurt you like I started to that–before, but at least you can be grateful you saved something, right?

Draco, seeming to shrink into himself: *voice coming out as a shaky whisper* That– I didn’t mean to insult– That’s not about your b-blood status, I just– *shakes his head, swallowing dryly, eyes suddenly pleading* At the time– when I t-tried to break up, it was– I was upset and– and scared and– I didn’t mean it! I meant none of it! What are you– *face twisting back into a mien of ire* I wasn’t trying to save anything, you shit. If anything– *stabs a finger hard into Harry’s chest* –you don’t want to– You’re the one who’s not interested anymore. You’re always going on about concern and making a show of being this really caring person. Well, now I know it’s all a fucking act! You… *wildly* You’re just trying to get rid of me or someth–

Harry, rawly: Don’t push this off on me, don’t you fucking dare. You want to leave? Fucking leave, Malfoy.

Draco, rearing back as if slapped: *appears as though he can’t quite recover from that one* I– Right, I see. *pants quietly at the floor for a second* Fine. Fine, Potter. I’ll– I’ll leave. *turns on his heel without looking at Harry and walks away towards the front door* *pauses halfway across the room, turns around and stomps right back* *speaks in a low, tremulous voice* If you thought for a single moment in the past six months that I ever wanted anyone but you, then I don’t even know what to do– what to say– I just– it’s just– *panting more harshly now* I– I may be inexperienced, and…and relatively inept in comparison to you… But I have tried. I have tried because I wanted to, I genuinely fucking wanted to. Because I… I wanted, desperately, to give back, to the best of my capabilities, everything you gave me. I tried because I wanted this to work, because I wanted to be with you and– *stares at him with anguish in his eyes, shoulders slumped and hands trembling* –and because I wanted you… *swallows noisily, lip trembling* And because I’m an enormous fool for having fallen blindly and completely in love with you. *suddenly lets loose a crazed, mirthless laugh at Harry’s expression* Oh, you’re not the stupid one, Potter. Apparently, I am. And I am so fucking sorry that I wasted six months of the Saviour’s precious time. *turns away, walking rigidly towards the front door once more* Goodbye, Potter.

#virgin draco #oh shit #now what #draco come baaack #oh well it's been a good ride #this is it this was the whole of virgin draco #thanks and see you all later #hahahahaha #omg that was not even remotely funny i am so sorry #of course it's not fucking over #there'll be more tomorrow #and everything's going to be...okay #we promise #erm...#sorry?#bixgirl #drarry #draamaaa

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paranoidwino · 7 years

Text

stars

Read it here at AO3.

For @bloomsoftly , with the generous help and tips from @dresupi (who is now third best person in the universe, thank you so much!). So honey, I hope you like it!

Souls were, all in all, a very colorful thing.

Everybody had one, regardless of belief. Everybody needed one, but they pretended they were a big affair.

To Darcy, who had been able to see souls since forever, they were nothing but colored dots floating inside of very cute packages, depending on the person they belonged to.

They were a trinket -- if you will -- to be observed and admired until otherwise needed, and that usually came after death.

And it was Truth.

So she wasn't really prepared for the shiny golden aura surrounding Dr Jane Foster, astrophysicist.

It was blinding, overwhelming and beautiful; Darcy kinda wanted it.

Mermaids were suckers for shiny, glittering things, not unlike dragons (but let's be real, dragons were just rude lizards...), and they showed it by collecting the oddest things and showing off as much jewelry they could get away with (and with the long tails they had, it was a lot).

It probably wasn't possible to collect a soul, Darcy had never tried to anyway, but she unconsciously gravitated towards it regardless.

She started showering Jane with food and pop-tarts, content to bask in the golden light that was Jane Foster, and that was that.

New Mexico sucked and chafed at her skin for all the wrong reasons.

She was used to sand, but not hot sand and frankly the dry heat was disgusting and so was the sun (you stupid star, you!) and the only respite were the frequent showers she was able to take (who cared about hot water anyway).

She was sick and tired of it all after six days, and ordered an inflatable kiddie pool after ten.

“Jane! Jane!”

Jane Foster blinked owlishly at her friend and mentor, Erik Selvig. He looked pale and was waving frantically at her.

“What? And why are you whispering?” She mimicked his tone.

“There's a mermaid in a wading pool on your roof!”

“...What?” What time was it anyway? Was she drunk? Was he drunk?

But Erik kept gesticulating wildly to the roof. She sighed deeply and followed.

There was a shiny, bronze tail peeking from an inflatable yellow plastic pool that she was certain hadn't been there last she checked.

She gaped, turned to Erik, pointed to the pool and gaped again.

Erik nodded solemnly.

“There's a mermaid in a kiddie pool on my roof.” She repeated dumbly and then flinched at her friend's shushing noises.

“The mermaid can hear you,” came sarcastically from the pool.

Wait a minute, she knew that voice.

“...Darcy?!”

“So...” Jane was going to be cool about it, cool as cucumber. “You're a mermaid?”

The tail in front of her flapped a bit jokingly and the caudal fin splashed her with salt water. “...Did you use the kitchen salt for this?”

“Yes, and yes!” Darcy confirmed airily.

“You're a mermaid, honest to God mermaid.”

“Yes.”

“A real mermaid?” that was Erik.

“Yes,” and now Darcy sounded exasperated. “Look, it's not a big deal...”

“Not a- Not a big deal?!” Jane asked faintly. “Darcy, you have a tail, scales, and let's not forget the fact that you're a mermaid.”

Darcy clicked her tongue, pushed her weight on her arms and managed to take a sitting position, her tail folded neatly under her. “I think we've already established that I am, indeed, a mermaid Jane. And the amount of times the word 'mermaid' has been used in the last five minutes should be illegal.” She stood wobbly on the side of the inflatable pool and rolled out of it. Under the sun of New Mexico, her skin dried at an incredible speed and the more it dried up, the more her scales disappeared.

Erik sputtered indignantly.

From then on, any time Jane wasn't on her data and calculations and pictures, she spent with Darcy, pelting her with questions.

It wasn't so bad, Darcy mused, at least Jane didn't complain when the salt disappeared or that she hogged the pool for herself.

“So, you have a different civilization?”

“Uh-uh”

“And different technology?”

“That's correct.”

She'd been extremely disappointed when she'd heard that no, there were no astronomers. “Jane, we don't even see the stars from our home. We hardly see the sun! We don't even like it. I mean!” she stuttered quickly, “it's beautiful and all, but it's so far away and there's places in the sea we haven't yet explored, why go up when you can go down?”

Jane was very curious about it all. Favorite foods (We eat fish eggs and algae, Jane, there's not much I can cook for you in New Mexico) and cultural differences (well no we don't have internet and I don't know how I'll live without Tumblr, but we do have sound based tech...) and literature (we have a crap-ton of myths you don't have Janey, we're a completely different species).

And then...

“You haven't explored the world?” Jane couldn't really wrap her mind about not exploring any part of the world they lived in.

“No?” Darcy smiled patiently, “There are places we couldn't go even if we wanted. Like the Arctic” she said matter of factly.

“Too cold?”

“Nah, we used to live there, but then something started zapping our tails off seventy years or so ago.” She shuddered. “We don't go there anymore, the energy is sick, like a disease just waiting to chip off your life.”

And again,

“So, stop me if it's too personal, but...” They were lounging on the roof. Well, she was lounging. Jane was sitting on a chair, with her head propped on her hands as she leaned closer, “How does even 'it' work?” she blushed furiously, “I mean...”

Darcy raised her eyebrows as much as she could, then gave a pointed look to her legs and looked at her.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.” she nodded, amused, and went back to her fruit juice.

“Where does the tail come from then?!” Jane asked bewildered.

Darcy made a long, loud noise with the plastic straw. “We reproduce like plants, cut a limb and wait for it to grow and take root-”

“WHAT!”

“...I'm kidding Jane,” she deadpanned, “It's act-Ow! Ow! Stop it!” she laughed as Jane mock hit her with her chair's pillow. The fruit juice dropped on the ground unceremoniously.

She pouted at the loss of her juice. It was good juice.

“Seriously, Darcy!”

Darcy cleared her throat “Look, it's a lot like fish, okay? Eggs and all...” She was a bit uncomfortable with the subject.

Jane blinked. “That sounds anticlimactic.”

“Well, it's not exactly like that,” She shrugged helplessly; maternity wasn't high on her priority list, “there's a lot of stuff involved, like emotions and hormones and magic... it's a big mumbo jumbo you actually need to take a class for?”

“Magic.” Jane said skeptically.

“Well yes, that's normal, right? No magic, no baby and all that.”

“That's... sorry, but the scientist in me refuses to believe magic is responsible for fish tails.”

“And then you can go to Atlantis and tell our people that we've been doing this wrong since the dawn of times. Have fun with the Chief.” Darcy sassed back.

“...Atlantis is real.”

“JANE!”

Diametrically different from Jane, Erik had instead become a very tough customer.

He refused the cookies and the food Darcy offered and ate meals with them grudgingly.

Darcy couldn't really fault him for this, he'd grown up with tales and horror stories of merpeople just waiting to drown unsuspecting sailors. He wasn't wrong theoretically, but it'd been some 3000 years or so that they'd last done so (not keen on becoming stone and sinking in the ocean, no sirree) and Darcy liked to think they'd come a long way from that.

The big monument made of hundreds of sunken sisters wasn't the reason, nope.

She didn't really understand how the story had been remembered as long as it was. They'd stopped caring about the ‘living stuff’ ages ago.

“Why are you here?” He asked her out of the blue one day, when Jane was distracted by whatever thingy was pinging and making funny noises.

Darcy turned and looked at him, confused. “I'm studying political science.”

“Yes. “ He said a bit more forcefully, “but that doesn't explain why you're here. I don't believe this was your only choice.”

Darcy's gaze flitted immediately to Jane. Beautiful, shiny Jane.

“She's shiny.” She responded automatically.

Erik's eyes widened and hardened in three seconds. “What does that mean? Do you wish her harm?”

Darcy frowned. “Of course not. She's shiny, not food. I don't know where you're getting your ideas from, but the deadly singers were all turned into stone something like three thousands years ago and we like it that way.” The corners of her mouth lifted a bit, “I just like looking at her soul.”

Erik gaped. “You look at her soul.”

Darcy nodded. “Yours too, but hers is shinier.” And she said it with complete nonchalance.

“You can see souls.”

“What's with this incredulity at everything I say?” she complained. “Souls are the whole point of our existence. The Guides to the Other Side is not a fancy title, we'd suck if we didn't know where to send people off. Like, really suck. Imagine the mess.”

Erik had nothing to say to that, but sent her particularly pensive looks in the next few days.

And then, the Star-man happened.

Darcy watched Thor as he moved around the gas station that had become her home.

He smelled. Like, 'look at me I come from the sky' smelled. He was pleasant to look at but Laeto have mercy, it made all of her insides tingle the wrong way.

Jane and Erik didn't believe for a second that he came from the sky, but she did.

And it was fine.

The presence of a Star-man didn't fill her with joy or any other fuzzy feeling, but she could ignore it.

She could pretend the presence of a race that had heralded the coming of the Cold ones and the near destruction of her people didn't scare her witless, she could play nice.

What she could not tolerate was the fact that he had started gravitating around the shiniest soul in the house: Jane.

Because Jane's light was hers. She'd claimed it.

The Asgardian had no right to come and take it away from her.

She found herself showing him her teeth dangerously whenever she could get away with it every time he approached Jane, or got too close. As soon as the tiny astrophysicist turned her back here she was, hissing.

She wasn't stupid. She knew that even without his full strength Thor was completely out of her league, so much powerful it wasn't even funny. If a Challenge were to be issued, Darcy had no delusions to win. She'd have no chance, but she couldn't help it. This was her territory.

Erik had noticed that, and was torn between amusement and worry.

Jane was oblivious, but Thor had noticed.

“I know not what ails you, Lady Darcy.” It was Thor who approached her first.

Darcy’s mood had steadily worsened as the days passed, followed by an unease which hadn’t ceased since the moment she’d first smelled and tasered him (that had felt good).

Not three hours before, she’d been almost forced to make up a story and cover his sorry ass from SHIELD, and that’d been a pain (and yep, they were totally going to nail her for this, possibly as a mounted fish on a wall), and so she wasn’t in the best mood.

Darcy hesitated.

She was being unjust. Of course, Thor was arrogant and presumptuous. He had come from a race that historically reveled in the blood of her people (okay, not really, but technically the Asgardians’ war had brought trouble to her people, so...). But it wasn’t really his fault all that had happened, and SHIELD was putting his hands in pies that really didn’t belong to them.

Thor had also mellowed quite a bit since whatever had happened with the magic hammer, but…

“You smell,” she blurted out.

Thor frowned.

“You smell like danger, and wind, and the last time someone like you visited this planet the Cold Ones were there, too.”

Thor’s confusion cleared. “You are of the Deep,” he stated. “I had no idea some of you still lived.”

Darcy nodded. She hadn’t expected him to recognize her race without the customary appearance. Especially since she’d stopped using the pool once he’d begun living with them. No sense in tempting Fate. “Yes. And you herald disaster, Asgardian.” She hissed back defiantly.

The frown was back. “I do not wish harm on this planet,” he assured seriously.

“And yet...” She stared into his eyes, chin raised. “What we wish and what happens are not always the same.”

She didn’t have to explain her reasoning much more, for not a minute later, she was blinded by immense light. Stars exploded in front of her and she shielded her eyes. The smell of overpowered sweetness and spice overwhelmed her. “Ippido have mercy, what is this?!” she exclaimed. “Another Star-man?”

It wasn’t. It was four of them, with their powers and immortality, too.

If Thor gave her the creeps, these four made her feel weak. She had to run. She had to take Jane away and hide her.

Her subconscious was screeching at her. Immortals were sick on their own, five immortals all together was madness. She could hardly see anymore, blinded as she was.

She sunk to the floor and literally crawled to her room, away from all the crazy, and padded on the floor until she found her sunglasses.

A quick glance downstairs showed that yes, while their presence was obnoxious, she could now see properly without risking a cornea flash burn.

“Why are you wearing sunglasses?” Jane whispered when she took a look at her.

“These people’s souls are trying to blind me, boss lady,” she whispered back.

“Oh. Is that a thing?”

“...it is now.”

The Asgardians were exactly the same as Thor. Boisterous, loud and at least ten times brighter than Jane.

Darcy didn’t like them, at all.

She felt she should be intrigued by the silver glow of Sif, or the vibrant red of the other men, but the smell and the stillness of it all really ruined it for her. It was like watching a beautiful rock. Shiny, but immovable and immutable forever. She was bored by the third minute.

And then, the Destroyer happened.

“I don’t want to say ‘I told you so’” she grumbled to Thor, as soon as she was able to look him in the eye. His brightness was burning at her skin. What. The. Hell. “But, I told you so. Your people are heralds of disaster, there is no other way you can look at it.”

Thor looked contrite and sincere in his apologies and Darcy felt sorry for him because the situation his friends were causing was terrible for him too. he couldn't imagine what a Crown Prince was to do when his brother went insane and decided to assassinate him for a shot at the throne (well, his brother actually was on the throne now so maybe not too long a shot).

“I did not wish for any of this to happen, Lady Darcy,” he said, his deep voice and expression grave. “But I do accept that it is my fault the Destroyer ever came upon this village. And it is my responsibility, to see that Loki is shown the error of his ways.”

They rushed to the Bifrost rune (because the Einstein-Rosen bridge? It was a thing, apparently.), and Thor looked at her -- really looked -- like he had that morning, when he had recognized her for what she was. “I trust you, to keep her safe.”

Darcy felt absurdly annoyed by it all. They had talked about this, hadn't they? Maybe the point wasn't clear enough to him. So she straightened from head to toe, and while she hardly reached his shoulders, she tried to appear as serious and intimidating as she could. “I look after what's mine,” she said bravely.

Erik choked, while Jane looked as if she'd missed something important. She had, but that was not the point.

Thor nodded solemnly. And then he left.

And Jane was inconsolable for a while, and then determination made its way into her soul, and her light sparked anew. They would look for him and bring him back.

And as much as the idea of an Asgardian anywhere near Jane made her break out in cold sweat, Darcy could play nice. She would. For Jane.

Because Jane loved the stars.

And while Jane watched the stars, Darcy watched Jane.

#darcy lewis #darcyland #darcy x jane #jane forster #mermaid!darcy

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lenific · 7 years

Text

OUAT - Belle & Emma

Follows First Meetings

MOTHER TO MOTHER (Ao3)

The only fitting description for the Gold's backyard was of a toddler's paradise. The sprawling jungle gym alone would have been the dream of any kindergarten class, along with the wooden fort peeking from the copse of a sturdy oak and the slide under its shade.

Gideon Gold was the luckiest boy in Storybrooke.

"You know you'll never get away from hosting a big birthday party every year, right?" Emma told Belle one afternoon at the beginning of spring, when it was finally warm enough to bring the boys outside.

At the moment it was only Gideon slipping in and out of the plastic tunnels, glancing with hope at the ladders and nets but obediently keeping himself at ground level. Meanwhile Henry slept on, happy to doze in his pram while his uncle did the exploring.

Emma thought of a time when Henry would be old enough to join the adventure. By then Gideon would have friends his age at pre-school, and it wasn't hard to imagine a couple dozen of four-year-olds running around.

After three weeks as the newest resident in Storybrooke, the sheer number of little kids had astounded her. Once they found this private playground, there would be no keeping them away.

"Oh yeah, you won't need to even promise them a show to keep them interested," Emma said, chuckling. "There will already be a line of children at the door every day after school, hoping to be invited."

Sitting at her side on one of the broad benches supplied for supervising adults, Belle gave a little wistful smile. "It's unlikely any kid will resist the lure of an invitation, isn't it?" Then added in a somber tone. "No matter what their parents say."

That hadn't been the first sign that the Golds weren't the most beloved citizens in town, but it was the first time it struck Emma that people's opinion might spread onto the children.

"They don't really hate Gold that much, do they?" Belle raised an eyebrow in silent reproach, but Emma shrugged. "I know. I'm family; I should call him by his first name. But I just can't do that with a straight face. He doesn't look like an 'Aaron' at all!"

Belle considered that, and Emma started to worry she might have given offense, but then Belle started giggling. "It's the suits," she confided. "He's always so formal while he's wearing them."

Emma refused to ask the man's wife whether his attitude shifted when he wasn't. "It doesn't help that no one else seems aware that he can be called in any other way," she said instead, thinking of the aghast reactions she had gathered in her first week in Storybrooke, when she'd explained where she was staying. The inn owner had even offered a hefty discount for when she realized her mistake and fled the Victorian house. No one had even considered that Emma might feel sincerely welcome for the first time in years, or that she had enough experience to know the difference. "Imagine if I used Gold's name in public. I'm afraid I'd break someone's brain!"

Belle's eyes widened with mute laughter. "I've never had that problem," she said, amused.

Emma shook her head. "You married the man. They already know you're unhinged." The expression on Belle's face made her wish she could backpedal. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean... Hit too close home, didn't I?"

"People can be cruel," Belle said, letting out a long sigh. "When it came out that Aaron and I were seeing each other, there were several suggestions that I should return to therapy. Because obviously I wasn't yet over the grief of my mother's death."

Emma gaped.

"They didn't care that he was desperate for news of his son, or that he blamed himself for Bae's disappearance," Belle continued. "He was still in a bad place when we met. In fact, he had just walked away with my father's van that morning. The first time we talked, I was yelling at him for not waiting until the shipment of roses had been unloaded off the van. My father runs the flower shop; it was Valentine's Day. Can you imagine?"

"Sounds romantic."

Belle gave a little laugh. "God, it was anything but. At one point I threatened to destroy his shop, item by item, see how he liked it when his livelihood circled down the drain. He yelled back that he would have me thrown into a dungeon and lose the key if I so much as touched anything."

Emma had seen enough of the two of them to know where the story was going. They made a cute couple, always sure to be caught kissing and holding hands in the privacy of their home. But when their tempers were riled...

"You totally touched something."

"An antique tea set he'd put out on the counter for cleaning." Belle buried her face in her hands for a moment. "I only meant to make a point, prove his word wasn't law and that he could be defied, but then he startled me and..."

"Let me guess. That's why there's a tea set with a chipped cup in the cabinet." Emma smiled. "I was right. This is a romantic story."

"I'm glad someone thinks so. Everyone else caught wind of the argument. Once they heard we were dating, people decided that either Aaron was taking advantage of me or I was too broken to make a good choice, or both."

Emma cringed at the thought.

Raised in several homes across suburban neighborhoods where she'd never even had the chance to meet the people in the block before she was moved away, Emma had always thought of town life as an idyllic place with plenty of caring neighbors to look out for each other. It had been one of the factors that led her to accept Gold's proposal to move to Storybrooke after her unforeseen early release.

Since her arrival, people had been nosy, but everyone seemed too busy falling in love with Neal's child to pay much attention to his mother except to warn her about the heartless Mr. Gold.

Emma decided she liked it that way.

What Belle had just described was the flipside of having people know too much of each other's private affairs.

It sounded like a nightmare, and Emma was doubly incensed in the knowledge that Belle couldn't have deserved it.

"Bastards," she said with feeling. "I'm glad you didn't listen to them. Whatever gave them the right to judge!"

"That would have been my father," Belle told her, lips pulled into a bitter smile. "I'm sure Dr. Hopper would never have gossiped about our sessions."

Emma grimaced. "I'm sorry, but your father sounds awful."

Belle shrugged. "He insists he only had my welfare in mind. We try not to bring that up anymore, and I think he's truly happy for me now."

"Doesn't make him any less of a dick," Emma muttered.

Belle didn't seem to take offense at Emma's opinion. "Often forgiveness is the easiest route to take," she told Emma, then looked at her searchingly. "Maybe one day you'll find that out as well."

Unsaid went the last report from the team of investigators Gold had hired to find his son. If they were truly on the right track, Baelfire - or Neal, as Emma had known him during the months they lived together - might be returning home in the near future.

Forgiveness was the last thing on Emma's mind when she considered coming face to face with her child's father again.

Pursing her lips at the unwelcome thought, she looked away from Belle's hopeful expression. "Doubtful," she said curtly.

Belle didn't press. "Anyway. I'm telling you because sooner or later someone will question you about bringing your son to live with the monster of Storybrooke and his deranged wife."

Emma glanced back. "Seriously? Wow. They do hate Gold."

"They have long memories." Belle seemed to deliberate on what to say next, then let out a little sigh and checked quickly on Gideon to make sure he was out of hearing range. "The truth is, even Aaron will tell you he deserves their hate. It's foolish, of course. Everything happened years ago, and it's not as if he did anything illegal or that he enforced any clause the other party hadn't signed on their own will."

Emma smiled knowingly. "He fucked over the lot of them, didn't he?"

"Without a single regret," Belle confirmed. "Well, for some years at least. As he tells the story, in the beginning he was just trying to prove he could succeed outside his father's shadow; but eventually he lost sight of everything but the power of his position. It got to the point where there was only one person who kept pushing him to change his ways."

"Neal."

Belle nodded. "Baelfire believed his father could afford some leniency, that it wasn't necessary to hold the whole town in terror in order to turn up a profit. Aaron refused to consider the idea."

"And the idiot ran away." Emma snorted. "What a surprise."

Belle eyed her, obviously regretting the turn of their conversation. "He must have thought there was a good reason for it."

"Sure there was," Emma agreed, her eyes narrowing. "His daddy was too mean; his girlfriend was too clingy. Better to vanish into thin air and hell with consequences."

"Emma..."

"Look, it's okay. You don't have to defend him. I've already got the whole town telling me what a terrific boy he was; how sweet and polite and nothing at all like his father." Emma rolled her eyes. "And you know what? That's fine. I'm sure Neal didn't mean for me to get thrown in jail. That was me being stupid. And sure as hell I can't blame him for abandoning Henry when I had no idea I was pregnant. But like I said, consequences happened. And Neal? Nowhere close to deal with them."

Belle sighed. "Can I ask you not to talk like this in front of Aaron?"

"Too late."

On their first phone call, Emma had made sure to inform him that Neal - or whatever his real name was - was an undependable shit, and why should she put herself and an unborn kid into the hands of the man who had raised him?

She remembered his answer word by word: Because I'm also the man who hasn't given up on finding my son so we can be a family again.

Emma had always prided herself of her instinct when it came to detecting lies. When Gold said he valued family above all else, he meant it. Once she was certain of that, her other choices had come more easily.

She had yet to regret accepting his offer.

"Gold is okay," she told Belle, and the older woman nodded in wholehearted agreement, "a little rough around the edges, but his heart is in the right place. That's what matters."

Belle was staring at her with a wide smile. "I'm glad you came to us, Emma."

Physical shows of affection had never been high in Emma's personal list of preferences, but the soft pat of her arm seemed innocuous enough.

"Yeah, well," she said, only a little uncomfortable and not enough to grab Henry and return to the house. "You're not too bad either."

The End 10/02/17

#ch: belle (ouat)#ch: emma swan #fandom: ouat

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thecoroutfitters · 5 years

Link

Written by R. Ann Parris on The Prepper Journal.

There’s a number of things that get passed around about firearms, even among shooters, that bear some consideration. Some of them truly deserve their own articles, but meantime, here’s a few that I hear and see pretty regularly passed around on the range, in gun stores, on forums, and in articles and videos.

Brandishing A Gun Scares Off Bad Guys

I tend to brush off legalities of self-defense, because if I’m pulling a gun, it’s the potential of life or death anyway and I’m willing to face repercussions – as well as potential retribution attempts from the deceased’s family/friends/community.

However, for those who like the “flash it” theory of scaring off would-be thieves or possible assailants, do be aware that in some jurisdictions, it’s illegal. In some, without actual threat of violence predicating it, it’s considered assault with a deadly weapon.

As far as the sound of a pump gun or facing a gaping maw sending bad guys running in fear … don’t count on it.

Before we pull a gun, we need to be ready to use it. If it’s not worth killing or dying over – killing, because “shoot to wound” is another fallacy – that gun needs to stay in our holster, vehicle, closet, etc.

When we pull a gun, or even print or gesture a willingness to shoot, we have just escalated the level of violence.

This puts whoever we’re facing in a high-level threat situation. There are three responses to threats: Fight, Flight, & Freeze.

Only one of those three actually leads to a result we want if we’re trying to scare our bad guy into leaving.

Not myth. Not supposition. Not conjecture. Not projecting. For-real 100% documented solid fact: “Fight” is a common response when people feel threatened, whether they “deserve it” or not.

It’s why higher-level defensive shooting training actually includes retention and disarming tactics. It’s also why the upper-level daily gun-toting professionals spend so much time learning to de-escalate a situation, and avoid escalations in threat – even in the military.

There’s not really much statistical chance you actually land on the loaded cartridge in Russian Roulette. Most of us still wouldn’t risk it.

Don’t risk it by counting on a show of force dispelling trouble, either.

Pulling or intentionally drawing attention to a firearm should be a last resort.

It should never be done with the expectation that it will scare somebody away and that will be that, all done, no bloodshed or screaming today.

If you’re not willing to kill or be killed, and willing to expose family and bystanders to crossfire, right then, over whatever the (possible) offense is, leave it be.

(Same goes for loading a gun with rock salt, powder bombs, bean bags, blanks, rubber bullets/shot, etc. We have to be able and willing to back it up, or we need to leave it alone.)

Preppers Must Get A Battle Rifle … and, Soon/Early

Only if you’re planning to ride into battle. Even then, only if the most-likely scenarios are already covered.

For many, a defensive pistol is likely to be more practical and thus a higher priority. We’re more likely to have it on us, every day or End of Days, because it’s lighter, smaller, and easier to carry and work while carrying.

If it’s not on us when we need it, whatever we’re doing, wherever we are, we might as well spend the money and skills development elsewhere.

A shotgun is another practical option, every day or End of Days, for home defense, walking into the wilds if that’s the plan, urban combat, property defense, and a wide range of hunting possibilities even with a shorty designed for working corners and close quarters.

If we do feel like a battle rifle is a biggie, try to get one with the accuracy to cross purpose into hunting, whether it’s new high-speed poly or an old surplus we can hack and chop to 1/2 or 2/3 the weight.

Some of the hunting rifles (and surplus bolt guns) have reasonable conversions to detachable mags and extended mags, and can fill a lot of the battle rifle roles if we really want to go that road.

Women & Small People Should Get 20-gauge Shotguns

Not necessarily. A shotgun’s action type and weight, the specific model and even era/age of that model, and the shell(s) loaded are going to play equal or bigger roles in experienced recoil.

My 1960-1970’s and 2010 break-action 20-gauges feel the exact same as my 12-gauge 1931 Model 97 and 1980’s 870 and my nephew’s 2015 Maverick. My 12-gauge 1990’s-2000’s Nova shoots lighter than any of them for bird shot, but with goose, buck, or slug loads – big grrrr-girl or not – oh, ow.

I’ve played on other people’s much more expensive auto loaders 12-gauges that feel like total whispers even with those goose and buck loads and slugs, and others that are so light they go back to the “hell no” of the Nova and ’97.

The tradeoff in shell variety, pellets-per-shell, range, and sourcing easy-to-upgrade platforms outweighs the differences for most adults.

We can have stocks fitted with pads, weigh stocks with lead shot or fishing weights, and choose lower-recoil shells to reduce experienced recoil. There are some particularly slim, petite people who would still do better with a child’s model in 20-ga., but if it’s at all manageable, the 12-gauge is a better choice.

(This lady breaks down action selection really well here http://norcalcazadora.blogspot.com/2012/02/how-to-choose-shotgun-for-hunting.html, and is also a proponent of 12’s for women, which she details elsewhere.)

Revolvers Are Safer/Better For Self-Defense Carry Than Semi-autos

There’s numerous arguments to this theme.

One is that because you have to cock the hammer of a revolver, it’s less likely to be fired accidentally/prematurely – as opposed to “just” pulling the trigger for a pistol.

I assume the ones who propose such have never heard of double-action revolvers or considered the possibility of an exposed/external hammer being cocked by a scuffle or by clothing or hands in the draw phase.

(A gun is a gun is a gun and should be handled and treated with respect – if only two rules are followed, there would never be an accidental shooting.)

A second is that a revolver is faster/easier to deploy in self-defense because you have to work the slide of a semi-auto.

That threw me for a while. Turns out, it stems from an apparently not-uncommon resistance to holstering a pistol that is ready to fire. That’s a training and familiarity issue, and ignores the many CCW/W&C civilians, security guards, cops, and military who do it daily with no issues.

It also ignores the possibility of holstering a ready-to-use double-action revolver.

If you’re not ready (read: comfortable enough) to carry hot, you’re not ready to carry in public, period. Train to build the confidence in safe handling.

There’s also a few that stem from the likelihood of mechanical failures, particularly in cold weather.

Since Arctic Circle cops and military keep semi-autos working in some seriously gnarly conditions, we can pretty well write off the latter.

The former is, actually, more of a risk. The more moving parts something has, the more likely it is to have a failure in one of those parts.

On the other hand, if your firearm is (reasonably) clean, checked for wear – just like we should be checking springs and pins in our revolvers – and you’re using the usual ammo (1911s, .22LRs), you should be okay.

It’s only “more” of a risk, not “risky”. We also risk more driving to work in the fog and super bright days than “normal” days, and buying supermarket greens instead of growing our own.

*I in no way hate revolvers and think they actually have some specific better-best circumstances … just not safety or reliability vs. semis.

Persisting Myths

These are just a few of the most common and most persistent “truths” that get passed around.

One of my other absolute favorites is that modern revolvers should still sit on an empty chamber (there’s a safety bar to prevent dropping/slapping causing the hammer to send the firing pin forward). The newly spreading insistence that every gun should “fit” each shooter is another head-scratcher, given how many of us own a standard-stock 10/22s, served with fixed-stock rifles (and still do), and swap or inherited firearms that perform well.

I also love the apparent belief that at household distances shotguns never miss, and the near-on “one shot one kill” mental image so many ascribe to combat and defensive situations (versus police hit rates of <50% and the averages of 10 K to 250 K shots fired per each enemy KIA in various modern war eras and guerrilla actions).

There are plenty of others out there. I’d rather not get into the political-oriented idiocies or caliber debates, but if you have a favorite myth that involves ownership, use, and safety, feel free to throw it in the comments.

It won’t step on my toes at all – I’d far rather have mistruths dispelled than have them linger.

If you have a question about some truth that gets passed around about firearms, throw that in the ring, too. You are almost assuredly not the only one with that question.

And I promise you, bottom of my heart, from behind the counter and standing in front of classes, unless you start with “but I…” and get “Red Dawn” and “Call of Duty” in the same sentence, it is not even in the running for the most ridiculous legitimate question ever heard. Promise.

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