#plans...will they survive my adhd this time?

[rosicheeks]

.

#welllllllllllllllllllllllllll #wasn’t expecting to have a nervous breakdown at 4am but hi here we are #do you ever look at your life and wonder how the fuck you got where you are #like little me dreamed such a different life #I had so many plans and goals #and now I’m just struggling to survive #didn’t I just graduate high school? #…….. no that was in 2016 #we are now in 2024????? #is time real #I know I need to go to therapy and all that but I have a question #does anyone else struggle with time? #like you’re always late (to everything - work/chilling with friends/family/ literally no matter how hard you try you’re always late) #or days and weeks and years just pass you by and all of a sudden you open your eyes and realize it’s been years since youve felt anything? #idk the last time I felt alive was probably 2016 when I graduated boy oh BOY was I not prepared for the real world #and it’s just been a downward spiral ever since #anyway I got distracted #if anyone else has a problem with time and has been diagnosed with something please let me know #I’m trying to figure out if it’s a symptom of something #like adhd or maybe it’s just my depression who knows #lol I hope this doesn’t come off bad or weird but y’all know what I mean #🤦🏽‍♀️😂 #shut up rosie

[prismatic-bell]

HEY EVERYONE

Do you enjoy the idea of Sticking It To The Man, but also you’re fucking tired? Maybe you appreciate the idea of direct action of some kind but ADHD, depression, or physical disability has made it nigh-on impossible for you to actually, you know, do shit?

Well, friends, allow me to introduce you to a small but significant thing you can do to Stick It To The Man while also benefiting your own mental health:

I haven’t bought green onions in a year.

If you’re sitting here thinking “holy shit, Nina, those look like hell,” you’re not wrong—they’re recovering from some unintended abuse. They survived two weeks in triple digits (that’s upward of 35 degrees for y’all with the weird sciencey math units) while I, uh. Forgot to water them. The outer layers dried out to protect the inner layers and as soon as I watered these thirsty bitches they went

They literally looked dead three weeks ago. So yeah, they’re not too pretty right now, but you wouldn’t be either, and they’re bouncing back nicely.

So, how to do this simple thing?

1) obtain dirt and a pot. You’ll want to do this first because the next steps go surprisingly fast. My green onions live in a 6” terracotta pot and some gardening topsoil, but you can use potting mix (not Miracle Gro tho, that stuff is trash), dirt from outside if you live in a place where it’s safe to do so, any kind of soil will do provided it’s clean and doesn’t contain pests (although most pests will leave alliums alone because they hate the smell). To be clear, because we love and respect our biosphere in this house, “pests” in this context means “bugs that specifically will attack green onions while providing no benefit to either the onions or any other plants you may have.” The pot is mandatory, however—if you want to do this year-round, you need to be able to move the onions inside/outside as weather allows/demands.

2) buy some green onions. You can skip straight to step 4 from here if you want, but if you’re planning to use them first…

3) cut them only to the tops of the white bits. In other words you ONLY want to use the green part.

4) put the white bits in a ramekin, measuring cup, etc. with some water. I’ve used things as big as juice glasses for this, but that’s really on the big end. Put your container in a window with some sun.

5) 3-5 days later, you should see about half an inch of root growth on the bottoms of your onions, and possibly the beginnings of a tiny green spear at the top. (Maybe a bit more, if they’re overachievers.) Plant them in your pot with just a bit of the white sticking up overtop of the soil.

6) water just a little bit, every other day. You want the soil to always be moist to the touch, but never out and out wet.

7) watch them sprout. This is excellent for your mood, by the way. Science says having and tending green things provides visible benefits to both your physical and mental health. We also know that making tangible things is good for your mental health, and green onions grow quickly, so you get benefits fast.

8) As they grow, you can reduce watering to three times per week because they’ll be able to store more water. The leaves will feel firm and “thick” (you’ll understand what I mean when you get to feel a properly-watered green onion) when they have enough water, much like a succulent’s leaves will get thicker and firmer when it’s well-hydrated, so it’s relatively easy to tell if they need a drink.

9) trim your onions as you need them! I try to never take more than 3-4 leaves in a week—about half a bunch—so it has time to grow more, but if you live with a bunch of people you can get around this by just starting more green onions. Buy three or four bunches and plant them all. They don’t go bad because they literally just grow until you need them. I’ve actually planned meals around “I have not used enough green onions lately and the leaves are bending under their own weight, I need to trim some tops.” Although the ones you see in the grocery store have open tops, you’ll notice closed spears on your new leaves, and these are completely edible. Yes, I regret to tell you they cut off and probably waste the tapered bits just for The Aesthetic. They’re just like any other green part of the onion.

AND YOU WILL NEVER NEED TO BUY GREEN ONIONS AGAIN. Just add a little soil now and again to replenish the nutrients.

Yes, they’re cheap. Yes, this is a small thing. But many small things added together are a big thing. And when you’re confident in your green onions, if you have the desire and ability to do more, there are many other plants you can grow from grocery-store starters.

GO FORTH. ENJOY THIS KNOWLEDGE.

[lw6-woso]

car driver and the footballer (Leah X reader)

growing up You loved karting like you loved it every other day after school you were on the track loving life. so when you became a formula one driver was a dream you thought would never come true, especially being the only female on the track, it definitely had its disadvantages but also its positives as you campaigned women and girls to join the sport and get more into sports outside of formula one.

and that's how you met Leah Williamson and you both hit it of instantly not just promoting women to join sports and have the ability to do join sports but just in general, and you also had a massive crush on her from watching her play whenever you weren't training or racing. you got together in August of 2019 and have been strong ever since.

today was both your free days but instead of relaxing and spending time together you had some photo shoots and interviews.

you both had called a taxi to the middle of London and you walked into a building were you would be spending your day.

you met all the people who were involved and the first thing was the photoshoot. your relationship was a public one and was one of the most popular one in women sports and both your individual sports especially when Leah won the euros last summer and you winning a lot of your races through your last couple of seasons, you were both in your prime.

you had finished your photoshoots taking around 50 photos only taking two hours. talking the interview was going to be longer as you were going to answer questions about your journey to becoming pro- athletes.

"so the first question what made you want to start your sports how did you get involved" Sara , one of the staff, asked us.

Leah went first and said "growing up i was involved in lots of sports and i asked my mum to join football and i fell in love with it especially with watching a lot of it with my family and yeah one thing led to another and I'm here"

"with me i have ADHD and growing up my parents tried to get me into sports i mean i think i tried everything they could think of some i liked some i hated and i loved watching cars growing up the movie i mean i was obsessed watched it everyday and my mum asked me if i wanted to do things like that and i said i can be like lightning McQueen and yeah after one session i loved every aspect of it and i still do" you said.

"she still loves cars" Leah said.

"oh yeah best movie hands down" you said and looked at leah who was smiling at me.

"how old were you when you went pro and how did it feel what was it like" she asked.

"my first pro season was in 2017 i was with Williams right at the bottom and it was scary you know i was surrounded with all these big racers and i had just turned 18 and that was even scarier but i survived and now i am with Mercedes and its amazing" you said.

"i was 16 when i went pro and made my debut after my 17th at arsenal which was 2014 and like what Y/N said it was scary with all the big names and people that i grew up watching and my idols but yeah I'm still at arsenal had have no plans to leave and i can even put into words in how much i love it" she said.

we answered more questions about our sports and us in a relationship and then we were done. we made our way home and it was my turn to choose the movie and just for the sake of it you put on Cars. Leah walked into the living room videoing me.

"i think you love that movie more than you do me" she said.

"oh please don't say your jealous over a movie" you said laughing and she chucked a cushion at you. she sat down and put it on her story and everyone laughed and commented on it.

"i love you more than cars" you said.

"oh really" she said sitting up and you nodded taking a drink from you water.

"i love you more than arsenal" she said and your jaw dropped.

"oh my god i feel so special" you said dragging her towards you as littered kisses all over her face making her laugh.

#women football #woso community #woso imagine #engwnt #awfc #leah williamson #fluff #wosoedit #woso #woso x reader #woso fanfics #womens football #formula 1 #formula one #mercedes #mercedes f1 #leah williamson x reader #leah williamson imagine #leah williamson x you #fluffy

[ladyyatexel]

Hey, what's up, hello, I'm Xel, I truly have Donald Duck levels of bad luck and yet I do not have the rage button that makes things work out if I throw a tantrum, which feels like yet another failure of media, what is the deal with this.

The deal is:

Temp job had to let me go instead of make me permanent because the economy scared the 5 people over 65 in that department out of feeling safe enough to retire

None of my applications are getting interviews and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Donald Duck tantrum did not assist me in this realm.

Holy shit seasonal depression I can't get out of bed like.... A Lot.

I have a convention to go to in February where I am selling art in the art show and where I will see many of my friends the only time per year.

I'm scared of everything haha wow 😬

I'm am an artist who just feels too upset and worried to art

I'm having trouble getting everything together and maybe will feel better with some level of stability? I need to do a lot of paperwork. It is proving hard. I have the Tumblr popular suspicions about my level of neurodivergance. (Fun story: I told members of my my family that I have thought in the last two years especially that I might have ADHD or Autism or something, and my cousin said, "Oh, honey *just the last two years?*" Obliterated.)

My abusive dad recently joined a cult and my grandmother thinks he'll try to contact me after 15 years and I'm fucking scared of him and that is Affecting Me in A Way boy howdy.

I do not have the money to pay rent even a little bit! I'm trying to get January and February taken care of maybe? So I can try to exist for this period of time and maybe not have a breakdown or get evicted or something?

Some real not awesome medical junk happening also because why not.

SO, I'm doing Tumblr's favorite thing and being a starving queer artist with brain worms who needs help. If you are interested in helping me out and making a donation to the "Why don't my Donald Duck tantrums solve my problems" fund, I would be Really Grateful.

I am on Ko-Fi, which is really just a funnel to PayPal, over here.

$2500 would keep me on solid ground. I'll try to keep a tally here in a read more along with a expenses tally if that would help you feel better about me! I know I've had to ask frequently in the last few months, so I understand thinking I'm full of it.

I have a commission to finish currently and a few buttons and things that need to be mailed. You could also ask for button and commission, but I am doing prep work for my part of the art show in mid February, so I'm not available until after then for that!

My grandfather used to do a Donald Duck impression that was really good and it convinced me that either he WAS Donald Duck or that old people all knew how to do this because they all talked like this in the era Donald Duck was from.

Here is Ko-Fi again. If there's something you'd like to see me post or unearth in atonement, let me know. If you'd like other places to aim your dead green American presidents, I can give you that too.

Thanks for reading and/or reblogging! Tell me how Donald Duck's freakouts impacted you. Take care of yourselves!

Rent is $710/month, so 1420 is January and February.

65 for the internet, 130

65 for car insurance, 130

65 for electric unless I can get the assistance plan up again, same 130

250 to survive at the con maybe?

Also just like food until i can get the foodstamps stuff sorted??

Gas???

Anyway, that's an idea of what and why, if that is helpful.

Jan 8:

We are at $460!

Thanks!

#mutual aid #help #donations #charity #i feel real ashamed to have to do this! :D

[multifandomxreader]

I come to your aid, my dear writer!

an idea would be an adhd!gn!reader that always manages to survive, but no one understands how.

they get distracted easily, can't concentrate for too long when someone is explaining the plan, and start wandering off to explore, etc.

everyone think they survive only thanks to the rest of the group

but chishiya is the only one who sees the truth (reader finds important clues at early stages of the game while wandering off, they try to explain what they believe is the right answer (normally being the right answer) but no one manages to understand what they mean because reader doesn't explain their full thought process or forgets to add context, asking simple questions out of curiosity and sometimes helping the group realise stuff, their previous fixations on random hobbies being useful, etc)

also, the reader is usually calm and unbothered about the situation, always in a good mood

people underestimate them a lot

gn reader with adhd x Alice In Borderland

It was time to play another game, you had only two days left on your visa which left you with no other choice. Hatter teamed you up with Kuina and Chishiya, something that made you feel safer. You drove to the location of your assigned game, a mansion in the Aoyama area, one of the wealthiest in Tokyo. You enter the entrance hall and each grab a phone off the table. In the room are two other players waiting for the game to start. A man fitting the aesthetic of the area, wearing an expensive watch and an even more expensive-looking suit is tapping his foot impatiently on the marble floor. And a posh older woman who could easily be your grandmother, fidgeting with her pearl necklace. 

Chishiya immediately starts analyzing the people and the room while Kuina greets the other players. The registration closes and an arrow appears pointing to an opening door, everyone hurries inside and the door closes behind you. On your phones appear the ace of clubs and a voice starts explaining the rules. “Game: escape room. Find clues and get out of the room in time.” You laugh “An ace? We’re definitely gonna ace this” you look at your friends to see if they got your joke, Chishiya rolls his eyes while Kuina snorts. They got used to your humor by now but you never skip the opportunity to make a cheesy joke to lighten the mood. 

“Thirty minutes left.” You look up at Chishiya as he begins speaking: “Okay, the room is big so let’s split up to cover the ground faster. Share everything…” You look around the room as your attention is pulled to a big bookcase. You tilt your head to read the titles. “I loved this book, ooh, Kuina you will really like this one!” “... and lastly we need a code to open that door.” Chishiya ends his little instruction talk. Everyone splits up to look for clues, the room is basically a large living room. Decorated with lavish couches and baroque art. After scanning the shelf with books you notice an aquarium with a small turtle. You smile as you watch it move, becoming hypnotized by the cute animal.

Meanwhile, the others were searching frantically for the key that would open a box. You got taken out of your trance when someone yanked you backward. “Search the fucking key you idiot” the posh asshole swears as he grips the front of your shirt. Immediately Chishiya and Kuina come to your aid. “Look violence isn’t gonna solve this game, so leave him alone” Kuina speaks. The guy lets go of you and points at the box, “We need a key to open it, search for it.“ You take it from Chishiya’s hands and examine it. It’s a wooden box, decorated with flowers, one flower stands out, a carnation. “Hey, Kuina did you know that a green carnation used to be a symbol to show that you were queer. It was popularized by…” You rush to the bookshelf as the others stand in confusion, your fingers trace the names of authors until you find the one you’re looking for: Oscar Wilde. You take it off the shelf and read the title. “The Picture Of Dorian Gray” you exclaim “I loved this book! The way Wilde portrays the dark side of humanity…” “Y/N!” Kuina signals. “Oops sorry. Does anyone have a knife?” “I do” the old woman proclaims while waving her purse in the air. She pulls the knife out of it but hesitates to hand it over. “What are you going to…” Chishiya snatches it from her before she’s able to finish her sentence. “Just trust them.” 

He gives you the knife and you walk determined towards the portrait hanging above the fireplace and slash it. Behind the canvas a key appears, you grab it and toss it at Kuina who opens the box. “Ten minutes left.” The box contains a riddle that gets rapidly solved by Chishiya, the riddle leads to another clue. It keeps on going like this and it looks like you were almost there. You slowly gravitate back to the turtle. 

“Five minutes left” the voice chimes. Behind you, the others cheer because they found the final code. You join them as Chishiya types it in. The door opens but you were met with another one. A sorrowful sigh left the older lady and the man punches the wall. The door was beautiful, so would have been escaping but you could just as well admire the craftwork that went into making the door. Beautiful curves, leaves, a turtle. A turtle. “One minute left.” You reach for the wooden turtle and start pushing it. It moved. You copy the unusual trail of the actual turtle, which had made you so interested in it in the first place: a triangle. 

The door opens and everyone leaps through just in time before the floor collapses. You look at your friends in shock before grinning widely. “I fucking love you y/n” Kuina sighs as she pulls you into a hug, Chishiya pats your back “Well done.”

notes: I hope you enjoyed it! it was fun writing a reader with adhd and putting some of my own special interests in it ;) (queer history)

#alice in borderland x gn reader #gn reader #aib x gn reader #alice in borderland #alice in borderland x reader #kuina x reader #kuina x gn reader #chishiya x reader #chishiya x gn reader #adhd #aib #aib x reader

[butch-reidentified]

1. What is a woman?

Argument for Using "Cis-Identifying"

And related: A conversation with a "NERF" about radical feminism, gender identity ideology, and what we/I actually believe.

2. Inform yourself on some of the work I've done for trans people before you continue the trend of cowardly hypocrisy.

3. My thread responding to the way much of the tumblr trans community handled my sharing my story of surviving the 2016 Pulse Nightclub shooting (often by stealing my lived trauma and removing my url) is easily one of the most - if not the most - important posts pertaining to trans discourse I've made to date, and Tumblr won't let me pin it. Of course. So here it is. And a bonus: This lovely ask.

4. Hope for Women (this is a very new project, WIP)

About Me:

I am a butch lesbian, married to a badass gnc (but not butch) radfem lesbian goddess whose misandry surpasses even my own; she does have tumblr but rarely uses it - @psychichologramnightmare is hers. I'm 27/Taurus/May baby, though I'll be real, I've never liked astrology and found my birth chart n whatnot always laughably wildly inaccurate to me (sorry astrology girlies). Former competitive rock climber, still in love with hiking and climbing. Wilderness survivalist. Trained & armed woman, advocate for female-only firearm ownership.

My wife and I run our own business, and bought our first home together at 24 & 25 respectively - it's a lovely 4/3 on a quarter acre where we have 5 mango trees and more, plan to start growing our own food and herbs, foster kittens, and provide free housing (and more) regularly for those in need. We do a LOT of IRL feminist action/work/organizing. I post about some of that work pretty often, but I couldn't possibly post about all of it (even if it were safe to do so). I am basically organizing (mostly offline, but some online as well) full-time now.

Survivor of abuse, CSA + captivity, trafficking in my teens where I was forced into porn as a minor, the Pulse Nightclub shooting in Orlando 2016, and more. I am no longer affected by any of these in any negative psychological manner. I own my past, every moment of it, and wouldn't change a thing I've experienced. What I often tell people is, "I'm not glad it happened; I'm glad I was there."

I got my Bachelor's in Neuroscience/Neuropsych, used to work in a top neuro research lab, and have been a coauthor on a peer-reviewed scientific journal publication. I wrote my undergraduate thesis on POTS, ADHD, some of the relevant epigenetics, and norepinephrine dysregulation. I was diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos & POTS in 2015, before pretty much anyone had heard of them (including most doctors). My POTS is very well-managed now, but chronic pain from EDS is more of a struggle.

I practice witchcraft as a form of artistic expression. I don't consider myself spiritual as I've had a lifelong inability to "believe," but I am particularly passionate about lesbian-centered/lesbian-exclusive (esp butch & gnc lesbian) witchcraft. I am open to commissions for spell jars/sachets on a purely donation basis (we recently were victims of identity theft and are still struggling to recover, but I'll do them for free happily). This is essentially artistic expression to me, something to express love and sisterhood - why I'm not actually charging or anything and will even pay shipping and materials myself if you'd like one but don't want to/can't donate. To me, it's very similar to commissioning a painting or something of the sort, and I deeply enjoy the process of making them, esp for other women, the love that goes into doing so. See tags: #witchcraft, #brujeria.

Adoptee with complex history. Adoption-critical but not abolitionist - I plan to adopt with my wife in a couple years. I've talked a fair bit about my experiences, adoption trauma, ethical adoption, and more. Check out my tags such as #ethical adoption, #adopted, #adoptee, and so forth (tagged on this post for easy accessibility).

I spent many years surrounded by majority-trans-identifying friends/acquaintances both irl and online, deeply involved in trans spaces & activism, and even identified for a bit & was on T for a while. I am not "uneducated" or unfamiliar with trans-identifying people, their experiences, or gender identity ideology in general. You, like me back then, very probably have been lied to about radfems ("terfs") and what we believe and fight for. I am happy to talk in good faith (provided you do the same) 1 on 1 with anyone who is curious about what we actually believe and what we stand for, what common radfem takes on gender identity ideology & trans identity actually are and why.

I have a history of purely physical sex dysphoria (physical sensation like pain or itching). I got "top surgery" (elective mastectomy) due to this and other reasons: constant painful breast cysts & very large breasts (DDD even when I weighed under 100 lbs). I was not trans-identifying by the time I got this surgery (though I tried to briefly identify as nb/transmasc just bc I felt obligated, but hated it). I have never wanted to be a man socially and genuinely hated the very thought. I came out the womb feminist, got in trouble throughout primary school for fighting boys who tried to pull sexist bullshit, always lowkey believed in female superiority (I mean just look at our biology, lifespans, pain tolerance, the things we've done throughout history despite violent patriarchal oppression...). I spent years preparing myself. I read from & spoke to women who regretted this surgery, challenged myself at every turn, dove deep into my mind and thought processes, tried alternative treatment attempts, worked with a non-affirming therapist, made sure my past traumas were fully healed, and waited until I was in my mid-twenties so my brain was more or less fully matured. I have no regrets about it. I still have some (still purely physical sensation) dysphoria ("phantom male genitals" type of thing) at times, but have come to manage this very well. More on this here.

Formally assessed psychopath & participant in research by leading psychopathy experts (read on before jumping to conclusions). Check out this post and my #psychopathy tag (tagged on this post for easy accessibility) for info, particularly about high-EQ female psychopathy, & to find out everything you think you know about us is wrong 💕 (what you know about male psychopaths is usually right tho 💀)

Note: When it comes to politics, I strive to discuss exclusively that about which I am *uniquely knowledgeable* - by which I mean, essentially, that I (believe I) have something to contribute that is unlikely to be found on every other blog. I do not and will not make posts or reblog posts about topics I do not feel this way about. You are not entitled to know my views on every hot-button issue, and I have no intention of speaking on that which I know little about, or that I don't know enough about (through study or personal experiences) to contribute something you can't get a thousand other places.

Tag Guide (WIP):

#mine -> original posts, including ask responses

#ask -> ask responses only

#anon hate, #anon love -> should be self-explanatory. anon love does include some non-anon love for simplicity.

#catposting, #dogposting, #petposting -> images of cats, dogs, and both, respectively (not always my own)

#Wilder wives -> posts pertaining to me & my wife (last name Wilder)

#mvawg, #mvaw, #male violence -> male violence against women/girls

#ethical adoption -> my takes as an adoptee on the issues within the adoption industry & how adoption can be done ethically

#what we believe -> fairly new tag for posts trying to educate on what radfeminism is actually about/damage control for disinformation & misinformation about it

#trans violence -> violence committed by trans-identifying people, including threats of and graphic violent fantasies (primarily misogynistic ones)

#trans misogyny, #trans lesbophobia, #woke misogyny, #woke homophobia, #woke lesbophobia, etc. -> what it says on the tin

#mine #pinned #hope for Women #ethical adoption #adoptee #adopted #ntsd #neurological type sex dysphoria #sex dysphoria #witchcraft #brujeria #tra receipts #trans violence #male violence #mvawg #trans misogyny #pinned post #about me #what we believe

[sundrop-writes]

Sundrop's Stranger Things Masterlist

Please note - I am just posting this masterlist to get it out of my drafts - I worked on it when I was working on the fic listed below, and then I completely randomly lost interest in it, and this has been sitting in my drafts for months ever since. And I love the formatting and style of this masterlist and I don't want to accidentally lose it by accidentally deleting the draft - and I am gonna need this masterlist at some point. So I'm posting it.

Coming "Soon":

Nasty - Sub!Eddie Munson x Dom!Fem!Reader. Established Relationship. Smut. You hesitate to tell Eddie your true sexual desires, fearing that he'll be turned off. But when he finds out - he is more turned on than ever. (3,000 words.)

Note: The rest of these link off to AO3 (which is the bulk of them unfortunately) - but at some point, I hope to have them edited and posted to Tumblr.

Sugar, We're Goin' Down - Steve Harrington x Fem!Thick!Reader x Eddie Munson. Friends to Lovers. Smut. Eddie hasn't gotten laid in months, so when he walks in on you and Steve (and neither of you seem to notice), he has just enough sexual frustration built up that he can’t bring himself to look away. He discovers quite a few things about Steve, and you. And himself. (12,700 words.)

Eat Me Up Alive - Sub!Eddie Munson x Dom!Fem!Thick!Reader. Friends to Lovers. Smut. Eddie is a very annoying person. And when he goes too far, you push back. Turns out - he likes it. Loves it, actually. (11,200 words.)

I'm Still Standing - Nancy Wheeler x Fem Disabled/Chronically Ill Reader. Friends to Lovers. Angst, Smut, (very slight Fluff). Hurt and Comfort. You start having horrible waking nightmares, but you don't want to worry your best friend Nancy by telling her. She's already occupied trying to chase down a trans-dimensional killer wizard, and you are convinced that the two aren't possibly related. (37,800 words.)

Bless This Mess - ADHD!Eddie Munson x Fem!Thick!Reader. Established Relationship. Smut and Fluff. Eddie accidentally forgets the two of you have a date planned. Rather than getting mad at him, you let him make it up to you. (5,700 words.)

Always Yours - Steve Harrington x Fem!Pregnant!Reader. Exes to Lovers. Fluff and Smut. Steve tells you about his 'six lil nuggets' dream, and you let him know that he's actually a lot closer to it than he thought. (2,500 words.)

Obey Your Master - Eddie Munson x Fem!Autistic!Thick!Reader. Friends to Lovers. Smut (and some Fluff). You are taking care of Eddie while his wounds from the Upside Down are healing. And when you offer to help 'take care' of him in other ways, he's convinced that he survived to live just for this exact moment. (11,200 words.)

Fix You - Eddie Munson x Fem!Mute!Powered!Reader. Friends to Lovers. Fix-It Fic. Hurt and Comfort. Most of your life, all you knew was darkness. Eddie was the one light in all of it. And you refused to lose him. (5,300 words.)

Drowning In You - Billy Hargrove x Fem!Reader. Enemies to Lovers. Smut (slight Emotional Angst). Working with Billy at Hawkins Pool forced you to be around him. But forgetting part of your mandatory uniform at home and being harassed by random men because of it forced you to truly confront your feelings for him. (22,100 words.)

You Shook Me All Night Long - Steve Harrington x Fem!Thick!Reader. Strangers to Lovers. Smut and Fluff. Steve never really saw you. Until one day, when you stood out as the hottest babe he had ever seen. And on that day, he just happened to be wearing the dorkiest outfit ever and stuttering over himself to impress you. Somehow, it worked. (45,000 words.)

Daisy Fields (Companion to You Shook Me All Night Long) - Steve Harrington x Fem!Thick!Reader. Established Relationship, Family Fluff. Some Smut, Fluff. You and Steve happily pursue your life together, more than thankful for the silly little ice cream shop that brought the two of you together. (20,600 words.)

(This last one, I don't really like. I wrote it a long time ago, and it doesn't really go with my current style. But perhaps somebody seeing this masterlist can get some reading enjoyment out of it. It's just very unlikely to be re-posted on Tumblr.)

Monstrous - Steve Harrington x Fem!Powered!Reader. Established Relationship. Angst and Fluff. Steve finds out your big secret, and you are surprised when he doesn't hate you for it. (5,200 words.)

#sundrop writes #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #nancy wheeler #nancy wheeler x reader #billy hargrove #billy hargove x reader

[isa-ghost]

I always want more q!phil headcanons, even if there are not asks about it

Oh fuck yeah man. Here's my previous sets if you haven't read them:

Set 1

Set 2

Set 3

And here's more:

He fucking HATES feeling on edge. He's extremely familiar with it, but that never dulls his hatred for the ick it gives him. That knot in his stomach, the flutter in his chest, the reeling in his mind, the fire in his nerves, the tremble in his limbs. That unshakeable feeling that no matter what or where he is, his back is vulnerable. This man wants to be Fight over Flight or Freeze EVERY time, so when he can't control the situation or can't anticipate what happens, he mcfreaks it. How can he prepare to survive when he doesn't know what to prep against? Or in the case of the Ender King business, how can he do anything to prepare against an all-powerful God?

He's struggling a bit with the whole Rose thing. Does he keep her a Death Family Secret? Does he extend her protection to his closest friends like Fit & Ramon? He'd like to give them the same extra layer of security he has from her, even if just to give Fit a little more peace of mind, but he respects Rose & values her & her aid deeply. He doesn't want to stretch her too thin, or worse, come off like he takes her love & protection for granted. It's the one case in which, while very tempting, he resists that urge to be overzealous. He's just torn because he doesn't want to see any of his friends hurt. So because of the way he is, he feels guilty that he has a secret extra oomph to how safe he & his kids are

Speaking of Rose, when there's no immediate crisis at hand, he loves to gush to her about life. He talks so highly of Missa & Fit & Etoiles. He asks her if she's seen the latest silly things Chayanne & Tallulah have done. He rants on and on about the Federation. Can you believe those guys Rose?

He tries and, like in all other situations, fails not to swear around/to Rose. She's a deity, a very.. not exactly formal, but Prestigious deity nonetheless. It's no place for swearing. But Phil is cursed with Autopilot Sailor Mouth so half the time he's dropping f bombs while heated or scared about something, he's not even registering what's coming out of his mouth. Besides, he's gotta focus his train of thought or else them 80 HDs he's got will derail it. Can't be focused on not saying the fuck word

Speaking of ADHD, much like his swearing, he sometimes doesn't register himself vocal stimming either. Boosh boosh boosh, he's tunnel-visioned on his task. The kids & polycule find it endearing to witness. Sometimes they get passed onto other islanders

He thinks Bagi is so fucking cool. Like yeah, it's cool his good friend Cellbit has a sister or whatever but that's not what makes her cool. She's fucking brilliant. She's headstrong, she knows what she wants & what she's looking for. She gets shit DONE. And god help whoever hinders her efforts. He's allergic to giving himself any credit whatsoever, so in his eyes she's a billion times cooler & smarter & more badass than he is, rather than like. A few thousand times cooler & smarter. But yeah, she's a superhero in his eyes

Tbh putting him with either of the Theory Twins is a sight to behold. Phil is a brilliant strategist & very resourceful. There's such strong, immaculate chemistry between this man who loves to think & is a natural at planning, and either of the twins who are good at making the puzzle pieces fit & seeking out nooks & crannies for more info. When put together they truly are a force to be reckoned with to the Federation

When left to his own devices & off-duty as dad + not needed by any of the islanders for something serious, he let's loose. No more wise bad bitch crow man who's palpably emotionally damaged yet won't admit it. He's off the shits. You've seen Eggza. That's him de-stressing by fully indulging his favorite things: preparing necessities for survival & being an absolute wildcard.

I can't tell if I like the idea he legitimately can't see glass bc crow hybrid or the idea that he fakes it to amuse the kids & his friends For The Bit better. Maybe he plays it off like a bit but he legit can't see it. Idk.

I said it in a rant about Phil's characterization and I'll say it again: this man doesn't fucking realize he's flawed. Like he thinks he is but not in the way he actually is. He doesn't recognize his actual flaws as flaws. Or doesn't realize they're flaws. Or maybe is ignoring that they're flaws because he uses them to cope or something. Either way. What this man THINKS are his flaws & his actual flaws are entirely different things. In his mind his actual flaws are something he thinks are normal bc he's just Been That Way for so long.

This one follows the assumption that hc!Phil & q!Phil are the same person but his memory is lost, BUT: while making multiple bases (Phil & Missa, The Nest, Uppies 2, etc) is a strategic move against threats, it's also perhaps... a subconscious thing on Phil's part. Discovering massive, beautiful places & adding his own touches to it to either restore or improve his finds... He can't quite place or even explain why he enjoys this.

He likes to collect things that make him think of his friends & the kids ("oh Tallulah will like this!" "Ooh, Fit said something about needing that!") but because he has that good ol ADHD memory, he'll store it in a backpack for later & then promptly forget about it or get distracted

God, he is so incredibly proud of Tallulah for liking to build pretty things like her farm or botanical garden. She really is su niña <3

[Wants to support Chayanne by being involved in his cooking hobby] [Observes Chayanne cooking] [Absorbs no knowledge whatsoever] :D

He hates the rain. Not only is it a Quesadilla Island Horrors omen, but it's also annoyingly wet & makes for even more dangerous mobs around. Also the bad weather makes his wing pain flare up

If only communicators (meta: in-game chat) allowed for sending pictures. At least then he could send Missa memes while they're apart 😭

Stay tuned, I have like 4 other sets coming because I got asks. :D

#qsmp #qsmp philza #q!philza #philza #qphil headcanons

[not-poignant]

Jesus H Christopher, Pia. Your writing load is insane.

Maybe you should cut back on how many chapters you release for certain stories? Like Stain and Palma (since these stories dont equal income) until UtB the other Underline stories are almost done. Just a thought

Because I feel burnt out just by thinking of writing that much, so I can only imagine how you feel. Please take care of yourself

Hi anon,

TL;DR: My brain is stupid, which is why I can't do this, even though it makes sense and is logical.

Unfortunately the fanfiction is what often makes the original fiction possible, or more enjoyable.

If I lock myself down into too much schedule and rigidity, or if I only focus on writing for money, I actually start to hate writing, even if I love the stories. There is nothing like 'will this earn money, do people like this, would people pay, what if they all decide to stop paying for this, why would they pay for this, would I pay for this, how much would people pay for this, is there any incentive for them to pay for this, actually if I wrote a ton of different tropes maybe I'd make more for this, but that's depressing, but I need the money, shit what do I do, what if I lose my income, what if it all stops tomorrow, I need to write more, I need to write more, I need to write more' that is actually very exhausting and makes writing not much fun at all.

And to deliberately break out of that headspace as much as possible, I write fanfiction. Because that headspace (the one I wrote about above), on its own, even if I'm only writing two stories, can and has led to burnout and depressive episodes. I don't recommend it.

In a way, one of the reasons I can write so many stories right now (ADHD meds aside) is that I am letting myself break out and just have fun with fanfiction, and remember that my original writing is meant to be fun too. But without fanfiction, I lose sight of that very quickly.

Fanfiction means that when an original story chapter does super badly, generally there are still excited comments elsewhere that keep me going. That's how I survived The Ice Plague, and that story would never have been completed without fanfiction, because that was my worst performer of any story I've ever written. It also means if a lot of subscribers leave at once, I don't feel like The Worst Writer In The World. So having fanfiction behind me was like...a literal safety net or my security blanket.

If I have to discard my security blankets or use them less often in order to keep writing the original stuff, I might as well just stop entirely, because my longest hiatuses from Patreon (i.e. one lasted 1.5 years, many have lasted 4-6 months) have been when I'm mostly just writing original fiction, and am not writing much fanfiction, or not deliberately finding time for it, and finally get so stressed out re: money I literally have to stop. I'm on a (partial) Disability Pension.

A long time ago some professional people told me I probably shouldn't be working at all because of my mental illnesses and then paid me money because of the severity of those mental illnesses. My dumbass brain be pretty fragile, actually, and keeps chugging away because I make bad business decisions and write stuff I enjoy instead of writing to market, or doing rapid release, or releasing more novels (or novels). Writing does ironically help when I'm stressed, but not when I'm stressed about making money because of writing.

I will cut at my income before I cut at my love of this job, and unfortunately fanfiction keeps me going in this job, which means I can't really cut at that first.

(Also from a business perspective, it's actually a very good funnel to the original stuff and then subscription. Most of you wouldn't be here if you hadn't read one of my fanfics first and then gave the original stuff a try - I try not to think about that too much because I need fanfic to not be about money, but the fact is, I would not have this career without fanfic).

I do have plans to take two weeks off in January from posting chapters (I can still post rewards in the second half of January) and that's not too far away.

And the reality is that I probably would have kept going okay if real life hadn't imploded on top of everything like the world's worst bukkake party.

#asks and answers #personal #pia on writing #i am not a smart business owner #i'm an emotional fragile mentally ill one #who has to make decisions that keep me wanting to do this job #because at the end of the day #my severe treatment-resistant mental illnesses #do not do well with the pressure of making money #and feeling like a failure #so i need to actually do things that aren't about money at all #to remind myself that i don't need to have a breakdown #over never making a minimum wage #(i'm getting closer though which is probably why this burnout came on) #(i've been pushing a lot harder than normal because... well... i'd like to make #an average income one day) #(i may not be smart enough or well enough to do that) #(but i will keep trying) #i just have to keep trying as someone with a very broken mind #who copes with that brokenness through working hard #breaks are stressful and i have to think hard about what's best

[dragonairice]

LOWKEY BEEN INSPIRED BY @not-sure-what-im-feeling s AWESOME OCS AND LORE (Go check them out)

And it inspired me to talk about MY ocs :D

I mention in passing that I am in fact writing a novel, but I try to avoid saying too much to prevent spoilers buuuuut I think I can keep it vague enough while still rambling <3

The novel (technically a novella) is called 'The Shadow Walker' and here's a draft of a blurb:

With no friends, an absent mom, an abusive dad, and a shadow that inexplicably went missing; Nicholas Walker is convinced his life couldn’t possibly get any worse. But everything changes when he meets something (or someone) who may or may not want him dead.

(Not the best but again it;s a draft)

ANYWAY THIS IS MY BOY NICHOLAS

He's 12 years old and a selective mute and my scrungliest little blorbo who experiences the horrors™. He doesn't have any friends, is neglected by his parents, and all in all has a bad time before the book starts :(

The only source of healthy food in the house (he borrows money from his dad and goes to the store alone) but is severely malnourished from eating nothing more than reheated takeout his dad left in the fridge. Nick doesn't talk verbally unless it's to his dad (out of necessity) and otherwise converses in ASL (which I'm learning for this book <3). Loves pretty buildings and stargazing, has a dream of visiting things like Notre Dame and the colloseum some day and is fascinated by architecture. I just realised that this kid would adore Minecraft but anyway after things get better for him he's given Lego models of like the eiffel tower and he loves them :)

Gonna stop before I spend the entire post talking about my boy and move onto

HIS MOMM

You know that thing that's like, "Not a bad person, just a bad parent"? Yeah. That's her. She ran away from her abusive boyfriend and left Nick behind out of fear, since she didn't know if she could survive by herself, much less with a child in tow. She ends up leaving with her best friend and they travel around the world a lot for their job. They're a musician who plays back up for bands in different places and Rachel ends up learning to play some stuff too after watching them for so long. The two end up dating at some point and they've been together ever since. Rachel still sends Nicholas a postcard every time she travels to a new place, but she doesn't have the courage to actually see him in person yet. Also fun fact. She's descended from a woman who was killed for being a 'witch' during the salem trials. This is relevant to the story :3

Do I have to talk about his dad??? Ughhhhh fine

This is Gregory Walker. I hate him. bye.

Not but fr, he's a terrible father. Works at a convenience store and his co-workers fear him. Lives off of take-out and instant ramen, never checks on his son. Spends all his money gambling and buying alchohol. Literally would not notice if he missed an entire month of his life (*cough* foreshadowing *cough*)

ANYWAY ONTO TWO OF MY FAVOURITES

LEXI AND CHELSEAAA

Lexi is a single mom who grew up kinda spoiled and is still figuring out how to raise a kid. Her parents are kinda helpful about it but also she doesn't want to raise Chelsea how she was raised so hgjhrj. Chelsea was orignally planned to be autistic since this entire book is a transparent cover for neurodivergent rep but the version of her in my head is so very ADHD instead. They only show up near the end of the book so I'm still experimenting with them a bit but Lexi is a huge book worm and Chelsea loves unicorns, like, I mean in the 'mythology is cool way' not the 'stereotypical girl behaviour' way. She does love pink things and sparkles though

THERE IS ANOTHER CHARACTER BUT THEY'RE A SPOILERRRR BUT I WILL JUST SAY THEY ARE NOT HUMAN AND ALSO WHAT THE TITLE OF THE BOOK IS TALKING ABOUT

(It's a sentient shadow, that's- do you get the pun in the name- there's three references in it-)

#The Shadow Walker #DragonairIce Rambles #The book's about halfway done now which is SO NEAT <333

[qqueenofhades]

So I decided to go back to school this year and am now in grad school, which I am somewhat struggling with more than I would like; damn them ADHD brain gremlins. As a grad school veteran, do you have any tips for not drowning in grad school while being a semi-functioning employed adult? 💚

Aha, well. I haven't actually gone to grad school while also working full time (unless I really lose my mind and do another master's degree while also managing two and/or three academic programs, but let's not talk about that), so I don't have specific suggestions in that regard. However, I can offer my basic tips for surviving grad school, which include:

* Set a routine and make sure you block out time to do your reading and/or writing. If nothing else, prioritize this. A lot of your grade in the class will come from what is directly before the professor's eyeballs, i.e. whether you can prove that you actually have a clue what they're teaching you and whether you can write coherently as a result. You can skim-read (dirty secret: almost all academics do), but you have to know how to skim-read, so you'll still taking in the essential points of the content. Usually this means reading the abstract, the introduction and conclusion, and maybe the beginning and end of each chapter or article section. Take notes. If you think "oh no, I'll definitely remember that!" -- that is the devil talking. Read with a pen in your hand. Future You will thank you.

* Likewise: you will need to take at least a few days to write a decent grad school essay. Plan in advance. Some people are the kind who can frantically scramble to pull an entire undergrad essay out of the hat on the night before and submit it at 11:59pm, but a) this doesn't work in grad school, or at least not as much, and b) if that's how you're going through it, you're not getting value out of it for money, and grad school is FRIKIN EXPENSIVE. The most amount of outstanding student loan debt I have is from my master's degree, not my bachelor's or PhD. If you're skating through it and bullshitting everything, then it's just not worth what you're paying.

* COMMUNICATE! PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, COMMUNICATE!!!! This should be both to your professors in school and/or your bosses at your regular job. If you anticipate a schedule conflict, need an extension, have something that needs to be done in one front that will have to take priority over the other -- PLEASE COMMUNICATE! (Is this my Traumatized Faculty And/Or Administrator Voice talking? You can't prove it.) Don't drop in with a panicked email five hours before the deadline and beg for more time/a dispensation/extension/whatever. Most people will be willing to work with you, but that relies on giving them time and/or planning space to do so and make other arrangements; after all, they are also counting on you to be a team player and if you can't be, to give them the chance not to be screwed by your absence. It is a basic courtesy to promptly answer (and my god, READ!!!!) your emails and to communicate with other people BEFORE problems arise, rather than when you're right in the middle of them and it is already an emergency. Everyone will thank you for this.

* Likewise: work out which things need to be done as soon as they come up, and which ones are able to wait a little longer. My particular brand of neurodivergence often makes me think that I need to do new things RIGHT NOW GOD RIGHT NOW FIVE ALARM FIRE!! and I stress and get anxious until I do them, even if I'm already working on something else. Project-hopping can sometimes be helpful if you're feeling blocked on something else, but do also have a sense of what needs to be prioritized most.

* If you're not already on medication and/or have some way of managing your ADHD: I would strongly recommend that. Grad school is hard enough, and you don't need to make it artificially harder. There are always the usual bugaboos about obtaining any kind of care, but do what you have to do, medically or otherwise, to make sure you're putting your best foot forward and not artificially sabotaging yourself because the brain chemicals just won't play ball. Believe me, I also know something about that, so yeah.

Good luck!

#sonicenvy #ask #school stuff

[purpleyoonn]

update: 

to the numerous asks I receive daily if I am updating petrichor any time soon:

-I know I receive new readers all the time and that some of you may not know things I have posted weeks or even days prior. But I have asked that my readers please refrain from asking for updates. This is one boundary I am trying to keep. I am disabled and use most of my energy daily just surviving. I write to get away from my daily life and pain and receiving asks just wondering about updates makes me anxious and makes me begin to just push out chapters that I push through quickly just to appease readers. im trying to stop from doing that and I would appreciate it if you could look at my navigation on my profile before making any asks. 

-petrichor is not on hiatus nor am I abandoning the story in any way. I have been trying to write ch 17 since December but nothing I write seems to work with the story. either the plot is weird or the chapter doesn't flow well or doesn't make sense. ive tried perspective changes and even rewriting it as a whole. ive even tried changing the plot of the story but im really stuck on what ive got planned. im trying to write the next chapter. 

-I have numerous other stories Im writing because I will get burnt out otherwise. I have adhd and if I try to push myself writing something where I either have no ideas or motivation for, then I get stuck. I push myself to write because I feel bad and then I burn out and can't write anything for weeks/months. I have so many ideas that I get stuck in my head, that if I don't write them, I will drive myself crazy. I am following my motivation and serotonin and choosing to write ideas and stories that I enjoy. 

- I write because I want to and I don't owe any of my readers anything. I love all of you guys and appreciate all of the love you have given me and my works and in part continue writing because you love my ideas so much. but my works and profile are my own and I am not trying to be rude but I kind of just feel like im repeating myself at this point.  

I am not pointing fingers or anything at any one. im not trying to be rude in any way. im just trying to keep my boundaries set. I promise if I have any news about petrichor I will notify you all immediately. 

#purpleyoonn #purpleyoonn update

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

May I request a BG3 matchup?

30; afab agender; rampantly bisexual. Medical lab tech (not the cool kind), about to start grad school for forensic biology. I collect postcards and preserved specimens, and raise tarantulas + other bugs. Enjoy making nature journals, birdwatching, puzzles, music, theatre, museums, analyzing horror media, building models, working with clay, writing, reading, and board games (though I get a bit too competitive). Great in the kitchen. Autistic/ADHD. Get sensory overloaded easily. Love meeting people but mostly wish I could exist invisibly and not speak. Chronic pain limits physical activities. Most content during stormy days with candles and coffee, baking or doing a jigsaw puzzle with the windows open and music playing. Think I'm unattractive and obnoxious. OCD + bipolar dictate a lot of my brain. Tendency to word vomit and have difficulty articulating off of paper. Complain a lot and can be passive aggressive. But also like to see people happy and taken care of, and want to leave things better than I find them when possible.

A/N: Alright Tarantula Anon, since you mentioned you’re bisexual, but didn’t state a gender preference, I’ve picked out the best matches- one male and one female for you.

Your best Baldur’s Gate 3 Matches would be Astarion (Male) and Minthara (Female)!

➶ Astarion is also a character I would characterize as “rampantly bisexual” (or pansexual to be more specific in his case lol). Gender presentation isn’t something he factors into attractiveness. If he likes you, he likes you. If he thinks you’re hot, he thinks you’re hot, etc. You get the idea.

Being an immortal vampire, Astarion knows a thing or two about biology. Mainly about how to remain undetected among the human population. In the game, he explains how he never smells like a typical vampire or vampire’s den because he makes a point to scent himself with a mix of fragrances. And while he may not be a medical professional, he’s certainly had his fair share of anatomy lessons, be it distant viewings at the food of Cazador, from the many creatures he’s been forced to seduce. It’s not an exact equivalent, but I do believe he would be fascinated by the kind of work you do regarding live and preserved specimens.

And while I don’t think he’s a bug person (mainly because they were his one source of nutrition for so many years), I think he could be taught to appreciate them over time. Perhaps you could show him how all creatures, even small ones, are incredibly unique and have their own role within our vast universe. It’s humbling to think we are all so incredibly tiny and yet vastly important to the people around us.

There’s so much he’s missed out on experiencing, I think he’d quite like doing any of those activities with you: birdwatching, solving puzzles, listening to music, going to the theater or the museum, tinkering, making ceramics, writing, or reading, or playing board games… Anything! Everything! He especially enjoys the competitive nature of your games. He finds he quite likes the feeling of winning, and he plans on doing it more often. Don’t worry though, he’ll play fair. Well, fair for him, anyway.

He cannot eat so he doesn’t get to fully appreciate your kitchen prowess. But he does enjoy helping you cook. It’s strangely comforting for him to do something so domestic. It’s in moments like those, that he can see the rest of your lives together playing out.

Similarly to you, Astarion loves meeting new people. Or at least he thinks he does. So much of his extroversion was a facade, he’s not certain what part of his people skills are him and which parts were survival. So he needs time in between, away from crowds and strangers to calm down and recharge. He’s grateful that you often tug him away, reminding him to excuse the two of you before either one of you gets too overwhelmed.

He may not be a magic user, but he does what he can to support you in managing your chronic pain. He’ll get Halsin or Shadowheart or even Gale to lessen some of your symptoms. He doesn’t try to cure your condition, nor does he expect you to cure his. However, if finding a more permanent solution to your pain is something you’d want, he’s more than ready to take that journey with you.

He doesn’t think for a second that you’re obnoxious. And trust him on that. He’s met some of the most obnoxious, overwhelmingly annoying magistrates and lords in his first life. He assures you constantly: that you are nothing like them. You’re smart and kind and beautiful. Even if you can’t see it, he sees it for you. Astarion knows what it’s like to live with a body (and by extension a brain) that tells you you’re never good enough. There are still moments when he can’t see himself in a mirror for example, when he thinks of himself as a monster. He’s so grateful you’re there to comfort him and tell him otherwise.

His favorite thing in the world is to cuddle with you next to a large bay window, watching nighttime thunderstorms roll in, a book in his lap and you beside him.

☾ Minthara is often characterized as closed-off and cold. Which you could argue is true. Or you could see it as her being logical, and protective of herself and her heart. She is a drow, and by nature, well accustomed to the more gruesome side of human nature. She feels at home surrounded by macabre, whereas others may be disturbed. I think she’d find your work fascinating. And spiders are something she knows a lot about. Drows and spiders go hand in hand. She sees tarantulas as the perfect pet, they’re small enough to be contained but large enough to have personalities and be something incredible to watch.

She especially enjoys reading horror stories with you or visiting theaters or museums with horror exhibits. Perhaps one about ancient methods of torture- now that would tickle her fancy. And she appreciates your wit and candor when it comes to playing games or solving puzzles with you. So few people treasure such traits in a companion, but not her. She knows how important it is to have a discerning significant other, especially if you are going to be spending any time in the Underdark with her, where being perceptive is a must for survival. She loves your cooking. As a drow noble, she was familiar with the concepts of fancy feasts and indulgent desserts. However, due to her position, she could never truly enjoy them, for fear of being poisoned by enemies. With you doing the meal-making, she doesn't have to worry about that anymore.

Unlike you, however, Minthara is not that fond of meeting other people. She much prefers the two of you keep to yourselves unless otherwise necessary. People are tiring, and so often unimportant. She sees no need to waste her time and social graces on them. You’re the one she loves. If she’s going to do something with anyone or make an effort, it’s going to be for you and you alone.

She used to think admitting pain was weak, now however, she knows it takes an inner as well as outer strength. She will go to whatever length to ensure your comfort. Simply say the word and she will get it for you. In seeing your survival, Minthara has developed a great admiration for you as a person, seeing how resilient you are. That being said, she will not tolerate you speaking poorly of yourself. You are wonderful. You are strong in mind and spirit. You are intelligent and wise. You are gorgeous. You mean everything to her. She will not hear you put yourself down. She would not choose an unworthy mate, so do not think for a second that you are not deserving of her love and affection.

But by all means, do complain. The world can be so frivolous and pedestrian. She enjoys having someone who not only accepts hearing her own complaints but joins in with their own as well. You can be passive-aggressive in your grievances because she is extremely direct. If something bothers you, she’ll simply ask you if you wish her to kill it. And no she doesn’t care if that’s morally wrong, because for you, she would move heaven and earth if it made you happy.

She is fiercely loyal and now that she is your loving partner, you cannot shake her. She is utterly and wholly devoted to you.

#baldurs gate 3 x reader #astarion x reader #minthara x reader #bg3 x reader #bg3 imagine #baldurs gate imagine #baldurs gate x reader #baldurs gate matchups #bg3 matchups #matchups

[nuclearspring]

i know there's a little bit of info on him currently included in my roster but ! i wanted to cobble together a more detailed rundown of my courier (the sixth one) + his verses. he is a bit of an unreliable narrator, so i'm leaving gaps in this - thing is he doesn't know what's up, so neither shall we.

(that said, if anyone has ncr muses who could maybe piece some things together, hit me up. he can't keep getting away with this).

rough bio under the cut. trigger warnings for death, violence, drug use, the military, addiction + memory issues.

name & aliases: sasha dubrovhsky / boris medvedev / courier six. tag skills: unarmed, survival, guns. (note: given his backstory, he's proficient in these, and in stealth). age: late twenties / early thirties during the events of fallout new vegas. moving into his late thirties if in the tv show era. sexuality: bisexual. you know, for the extra damage. alignment: chaotic something. personality types: estp. enneagram 8. physical appearance: 6'3", buzzcut, brown eyes, cheekbones, numerous tattoos. imagine a large russian man who has clearly broken his nose more than once. he is russian jewish & roma ft. general slavic aura. always clean shaven if he can help it, but stubble happens to him frequently. if in the verse in which he's courier six, he will have two scars on his forehead courtesy of benny. notable features: speaking to six, one may get the sense that english isn't his first language. he doesn't really have much of a russian accent, but his cadence (especially when he is particularly tired), as well as his word choices can sometimes give him away.

he is also autistic, and may have adhd. both are undiagnosed. the latter may have something to do with six's mentat habit.

his face is rarely shown - he tends to wear full combat armour, helmet included.

the man who eventually becomes courier six is born in ncr territory to a family who are descended from vault 13, if a tad distantly (nobody in the family can track the exact lineage, nor have they tried).

six is born alexander dubrovhsky. his branch of the family are loyal to the ncr in some ways, though their primary ideology is born not of the ncr, but of memories of their heritage. sasha receives more of an education than he feels he needs, but he is a curious soul and enjoys picking apart the way of things. devours books when he can get them. is in trouble more than once in his childhood for taking things apart to see what makes them tick.

he is not yet of age when he enlists. he's tall and broad enough to pass for it, and nobody in ncr recruitment looks too deeply into the issue. even before taking two bullets to the forehead, he is an improviser - there's no real plan tied to his enlistment. he makes it through basic easily enough - can remember that fine. can remember being passed up for first recon so as not to waste his hand to hand abilities - he is, in a word, large. can remember being filtered into the rangers instead. can remember later leaving his dog tags on a corpse about his size. tossing the tags that had originally been on the corpse in question into the colorado river.

the why of it is unclear. but he remembers the bloodless panic, and in hindsight is certain he had something to do with that death. can't say for certain whether or not this is unlike him, but the potential will keep him watching himself out of the corner of his eye, waiting for some similar slip up.

he knows he picked his new name out of the past. boris was the name of some relative, he thinks. perhaps a distant cousin, perhaps not. medvedev, on the other hand, is born of the bear tattoo adorning his ribs. (two-headed, stick and poke, slightly weathered, scar cutting through it).

recalls a time, too, when he burns his armour and weighs his options. he knows how to kill things, and is the sort of person with at least a chance at surviving the wasteland. so far so good, anyway. he passes a town with a mojave express office, and volunteers himself for a job. from that point on, he is a courier.

post gunshots to the head, he'll wonder if the memory issues are new. thinks they must be. things improve with time, but some things, he thinks, will never come back to him.

he remembers just enough to feel like helping the ncr is the most deranged thing he's ever done. he does it anyway. that said, six saunters vaguely in the direction of socialism whenever possible.

he identifies a chem habit, but can't be sure he had it before he was shot. can remember snippets of things he used to know, and understands that a great deal of the information is barred now. one hobby of his is gathering it again.

choices in game:

these will be updated in time (i'm going to play again to refresh my memory on him), but he can either pick the independent or ncr route depending. if we're writing post game, his default is independent, though that was a difficult decision for him and he still feels two ways about it. he isn't a blind ncr loyalist by any stretch, and is aware that there are some in the ncr who'd string him up if they knew he'd deserted, but he is not immune to propaganda.

alternate depictions:

i have written him before as an ncr ranger spy who is only moonlighting as a courier, never properly deserted (because the desertion catalyst wasn't there; he made it through the battle of hoover dam in 2077 just fine in this verse), and didn't end up shot in the head in goodsprings. in that verse, he can be recruited as a companion - for anyone who's into that.

this version of him isn't as fleshed out right now (read: i don't remember most of the development i did when i was writing him this way) but i'll update this later, and i'm happy to plot things out on a character by character basis. he is generally motivated to fight the legion, and will in time become somewhat disillusioned with the ncr.

#SIX. BIOGRAPHY. #SIX. ABOUT. #i used to write him in little groups with friends so his backstory kind of shifts all over the place but. here he is! #maybe subject to minor edits later but if there are larger retcons i'll make fresh posts detailing them once they're underway #death / #violence / #drug use / #military / #memory loss / #if there's anything i missed tagging lmk #his speech skill is like. mid. lmfao. #depends what drugs he's on if ygwim #me writing this like IS THIS CORRECT? #i've had him in my brain for so long and i feel like this bio. does not hit all the little headcanons and things. #but of course it doesn't. #and i'll certainly add more as time goes by #no but the joke i like to play on him is. #i think he maybe was a ranger for a little bit (considering he lied about his age when joining the ncr and got there #a little younger than he should have) #but he's walking around like. thinking he's just impersonating a ranger at times. which he IS. but he also maybe sort of isn't. MAYBE. #it's mildly unclear.

[swedebeast]

So, I've been sitting and stewing on something for a week - and I've talked to friends about it and I've managed to mostly get over it, but it still bothers me - and I think I'll just give an incomplete re-telling here of social encounters, rudeness, lack of respect, and me feeling betrayed by one of my close IRL friends.

And all I wanted was to have a few beers and play games.

Story is that for some time I have been planning to host a TTRPG of "you all play 4 level 0 peasants each, no heroes are around, and you gotta clear the cave of goblins - whoever survives turns into a level 1 hero", and there'd be beers involved. A genuine beer n' pretzels game

What ended up happening was that one of my gamer friends, also a close friend whom we can call Mister P, said he could get people interested in trying it out, also newbies to the RPG stuff. He managed to get two people from his job - a place I worked at for a couple months as well - and we would play at one of their houses close to where I live. Mister D, and Mister R. Mister R is hosting.

Turns out I actually remember D, and we got real chummy. This was a boys' meet-up, we drank beers, joked, had fun. Crude jokes, no filters - they all knew each other since before and their favourite pass time was to joke about how they would fuck each other's mom. All in good fun, that sort of crowd. This all lasted about 8 hours, with the game only starting about 2 hours into it.

And then what happened was that Mister P took it upon himself - while we all sat at the same table - to coach me in social etiquette. I talk too much about myself, I was told, and I was implied to be rude. I did not ask about other people when they talked about something to show interest in them, and that would come off as elf-absorbed and so on and so on, and it fit with a neurodivergent pattern. And he knew all about it - because he has ADHD!

And there I am, not expecting a one-man intervention, and even Mister D gave off a "Awkwaaaarrrd". We had good laughs, and I was telling my dear friend very politely, and this is not sarcastically, that I came there to play games and have fun, not to be "outed" in front of strangers on something that isn't even true, as the guy was very much implying I was autistic. And I know I was checked for it as a child, but I had doctors tell that I did not have it - at worst I had "traits" of it.

And of course, we play tabletop games and I collected Warhammer, so statistically I would have a case of the 'tism, but I told him I did not appreciate what he was doing. Oh, he said he did it because he cared about me, he is a friend, and we all can be honest at the table with friends. And then he proceeds to suggest we should ask the other two at the table if they agree on my behaviour.

I flat out refused, because I have no interest in putting them on the spot, and if they are so bothered by my behaviour, I trust them to be adults about it and let me know. And Mister P then goes on, it all goes all over the place and just things he brought up bothered me greatly. He and another friend talked about me, we all talk about each other after all. He mentioned a mutual friend that, when he talked about his mother passing away, I brought up my mother-in-law had died. Just bringing up examples of "transgressions" I had made - and I do not see myself in what he is describing. And I gave it an honest think. I thought reeeeal hard about what he was saying, and I remember the topic came up, but I was not dismissive. I said it was an awful thing, but what I DO remember that when his father-in-law passed, I also brought up my mother-in-law having passed away. I do not even remember what he was talking about, our mutual friend talking about his dead mother and I instantly blathered about my mother-in-law instead, as he suggested I did.

But what this... friend, does not know, is that I have long discussions with our mutual friend when he is not present. We have talked about those topics at length. And I told Mister P that I am not interested in hearing him talking about that anymore, because I did not ask for this. But then he brought up a thing that happened last year, in that he swung over and talked to a neighbor I had - and I went to grab things as we were going elsewhere - and he learned that guy was mad as hell at me for not cleaning the shared laundry room once (and this was something I only did once, having not read the small note what it was about) - and my friend Mister P then tells me the guy was "going to beat you up", and it is the other side of the same coin of what he is trying to do. Looking out after me.

And I am furious at that point. I did not call bullshit on him, I was not interested in fighting. It died down, he brought it up again, yadda yadda.

And what bothers me so much is that this "friend" was more than able to criticize me, but not Mister R - our host. Cocky, arrogant, the kind of man who is around 40 - thinks he is hot shit because he is a manager of 10 people at a customer service company and "doesn't care what other people think at this point". Once the game got going, I could explain the game and Mister P would interrupt me and talk over me, and them two would flat out not hear me and have their own conversation when I was doing the Game Master thing and explain the game and describe the situation. But then came the other thing that bothered me, perhaps very much so in the context of me being the only one getting an "education". We all joke, and I bring up, and ask, if anyone gets random friend requests from old classmates. Mister R says no.

And me, in the spirit of "your mom" and "holy shit, your brother pranked you and potentially emotionally scarred you when you were 4 - he's a boss!" (that was a statement at my expense) floating around - with a smile - I ask if it is because he is friends with everyone already, or because he's so unpleasant.

"Be careful calling me unpleasant when I am friendly enough to have you in my house", with a sneer, says nothing else.

I apologize, apparently that touched a nerve. I make a joke, and get threatened to get kicked out of the house, and I am needing an impromptu course in social graces in a room where people have 20+ times made remarks in the vein of "yeah, your mother knows my vein"and my joke about him - choosing to answer for himself - if he is nasty -or- friends with everyone he knows?

Not sure if I took everything to heart, but I did doubt myself severely after that. We continued being social. Got home at 3 AM, got a ride (despite the multiple remarks from the corner of the eye of Mister R that I "didn't need the ride"), and the day after I was on the couch for almost 5 hours, doing nothing.

I don't know if what I felt was valid, or thinking too much, worrying too much, deflecting, not seeing genuine problems with my behaviour - but I know I work very, very hard to include everyone in a conversation. I make everyone feel a part of a group, I ask the quiet person something so they can chime in, I avoid touchy subjects not to upset people, I put in the conscious effort to be friendly and a warm person to be around. I am not oblivious to other people. I am not a self-absorbed person.

And all I felt there was that this one guy, who cannot fix himself, took it upon to try and fix me because that is all he can accomplish. I am furious, upset, sad, feeling betrayed and wracked with doubt. Now, when I talk to people? I spent days wondering if what I was saying was natural, or if it was this guy speaking for me? I am just so thankful I had people online I could talk to. Ask for opinions, check things up, confer in and draw examples. "So, I was going to say this but I didn't, would it have been awkward?" And they all said no.

Favourite response was "Fuck, the right answer there would have been 'your mom knows how unpleasant I am' - he couldn't take a joke".

I am getting heated as I am writing this. Fuck knows if this is outing myself, because this isn't the first time someone has said that they suspect me of having Asperger/Autism. And to be frank, ever since I was a kid and had that label thrown at me, I have had a complicated relationship with it. Sometimes leaning into it and accepting it, others chafing at the label and completely rejecting it.

And now I wonder if this thing is going to define me, overshadow everything else that makes up the person that I am - or if it says more about the people that care than about me, making a hen out of a feather, and not accepting what would just be a little quirk of personality if it didn't have the word "disorder" tied to it. I still haven't decided on that one.

What I do now know however is that I will struggle hard not venting with shared friends about his behaviour, and that I will severely limit my interest in hanging out with the guy when alcohol is involved. He said he wants honesty, but I do not think I can have that conversation again and not raise my voice at the man. Maybe that's what's needed to make people understand that a line has been crossed, but I would rather he respects me when I tell him "no" in a calm manner.

#personal #swedebeast whines

[sparkles-and-trash]

a friendly little autumn survival guide ~

I am in no way any type of health professional, I am however a chronically ill person who have survived all the autumns that have yet come my way, I even quite love them! But there is no denying this time of the year can be tough on those of us who already have a little extra to handle, so I figured I might as well share those little things I do to keep my head above water this season!

one. Starting your day ~

I know this advice is old as time itself, but it's not for no reason! How your day starts largely affects the rest of your day, so it's important to do what you can to make it enjoyable.

Personally I like to eat breakfast (I usually have pancake batter in the fridge that I make every three days, but anything from bread to cereal is great, as long as there is some nutrition. I like to have it with a cup of tea and watch a light and fun show, like Bob's Burgers or New Girl, whatever I'm currently watching!

Even if you don't have time for this type of morning, there are tons of little things you can do to get your mood up, like listening to music out loud while getting ready, plan outfits you're excited to wear the night before, or read a few pages of a book you're currently into!

two. Traditions

Autumn might not be the time you think of first when you hear traditions, but that's why it's important to make your own!

Small things like having designated fall movies (mine are LOL and Knives Out!), tea and snacks you only enjoy during these months, and even music you that resonates with the season!

three. Routine

Another old and overused advice, but I think people often make too much out of it!

It doesn't have to mean having your entire day planned out, but having a few things you do every day, at the same time, preferably something you enjoy, can do true wonders!

four. Games and TV

A force not to be underestimated.

Make yourself a list with shows and movies that bring out comfort, joy and nostalgia, and have them ready to be put on whenever you feel like you can really use it!

The same can be said for video games, story based ones can be great fora sense of accomplishment, chill ones are great to get time to roll on while just turning your brain off, or online multiplayer ones can do wonders if you're feeling isolated!

five. Use the outside

Nature in fall is amazing.

Going for walks is amazing, at all times of day, but if that's something you can't do, for any reason (all are valid), there are many other ways to enjoy nature and the outside.

Sitting outside, just for a few minutes can do wonders, like on your balcony or porch, or even sitting by the window, preferably with it open for a while so you truly get that fresh air on your face.

Trust me, it makes a real difference!

six. Journaling

This really changed things up for me.

Just putting some of my thoughts down on a page, writing by hand, and having something to look back on when things get chaotic.

I write down everything from how my day's been and why, to just little lists and memos, and it's amazing fo my adhd, and for my sense of time and productivity.

seven. Video Dairies

This is kinda weird, but hear me out!

Filming little clips trough the day, just a few seconds each, when you do something you enjoy, see something pretty, or do something that makes you feel accomplished in any way, and then put them together at the end of the day.

They don't have to look pretty, but they carry a big comfort for me, they help me keep track of my days when all of them seem to blend into one big blur, and they help me appreciate some of the mundane, but beautiful things in my life.

eight. Activities you've missed

Autumn is a time where we tend to spend a lot of time inside.

This can feel like a bummer to a lot of people, but there is silver linings. Picking up old hobbies and interests can be very rewarding, and can connect you to old feelings, goals and enjoyment!

If you need a refresher, there's tons of good, and free classes available online, especially on youtube!

nine. Keep in touch

Fall can be isolating, and for some of us, just going outside or talking to co-workers or other students isn't really an option.

Online communities can be wonderful for this, there are fandoms and communities for anyone and anything these days.

Connecting with people you already know is also important, and there are loads of ways to do that. Sometimes you have to take the initiative, sure, and that can feel draining, but if you're in a different position than your friends, they might be busier in their day-to-day life than they realize, and as long as these are friends that gets excited to hear from you and often say yes, taking initiative doesn't have to be a bad thing!

ten. Ending your day

Similar to the first point, how you're ending your day is more important than you think.

Winding down and letting yourself relax before bed is so important, as is sleeping in a healthy environment. Fresh air, sheets that get changed regularly, a dark room, and no loud videos or bright phone screens right before you close your eyes are great tips.

I also find a little skincare, some body lotion, and a good brushing of my hair helps me wind down and sleep better, but that's a personal thing, mostly!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Like I said, I am no professional, and these tips are not for everyone. I just wanted to share some of the things that works for me, in hope that maybe one of them could make one person feel a little better!

Reblogs are okay <3

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