#please someone sponsor his therapy

[tacc0yak1]

a father’s love

#twisted wonderland #lilia vanrouge #disney twisted wonderland #twst lilia #this man loves his sons too much its CRAZY #please someone sponsor his therapy #HE HAS TWO SONS!!!! #twst fanart #twst #artists on tumblr #general lilia #malleus draconia #twst malleus #twst silver #ツイステ #ツイステッドワンダーランド #リリア・ヴァンルージュ #マレウス・ドラコニア #シルバー #tacc0yak1art

[dreamofjoys]

Heyo I saw you opened requests so I rushed over

If you're up to it, could you write a headcanon for Vil and Lila about their s/o randomly cleaning their room for them? (When I stressed out, I'll just start vacuuming and dusting)

Anyway ls sorry if that's too vague

Have a great rest of your day!

— c/w: cleaning up the bois room..

— a/n: you rushed over to my inbox cause my req was opened?? that's rlly cute T-T hope you like this one!

Vil is strict with hygiene, so there's no doubt that his room will definitely be clean with or without your help

The only time that his room gets "messy" is when he receives PR packages from sponsored companies

It's normally placed outside of his room when he is not around, and that's when you step in to bring the packages into his room

Knowing that he always film a video of him unboxing his products, you took the time to label what products and which company it’s from, dusting off the dust that has been collected before placing it neatly on his desk

Besides that, you would spray some relaxing fragrance in his room so that it would smell nice (he's definitely someone that loves aroma therapy hehe)

Overall, he is definitely grateful for your help and doesn't mind you cleaning/tidying up his room since he trust you

Have you seen his room?? It's messy as hell

You will definitely have lot's of fun trying to clean up his room, and maybe break your back in the process of it

He throws his clothes on the floor, eat snacks in his room and forgets to throw the wrappers away

You might even find some weapons that he had used back in his general days lying on the floor

His room is probably stuffy since he spends most of his days out or staring at his computer screen after returning back

Please open the windows to ventilate his room, man needs fresh air

Knowing him, he probably purposely made his room even more messier, given lame excuses about how he was too busy to fold his clothes or make his bed

He just wants you to help him lol (sees it as hitting two birds with one stone since he knows that you clean to destress)

#twisted wonderland #dreamofjoystwst #imagines #y/n #vil schoenheit #diasomnia #twst vil schoenheit #twst vil #twst lilia #lilia vanrouge imagines #lilia twisted wonderland #lilia headcanons #vil headcanons

[astroyongie]

Treasure August Reading 2023

Note: please take it lightly and enjoy!

Hyunsuk

Love: So it seems that Hyunsuk is currently dating and his relationship has been going on very well lately. Both of them are happy and find enough schedule to see each other and to spend time with each other. He is overall happy and on a healthy relationship 

Career: He feels tired a little and sometimes he needs a lot of courage to be able to get up in the morning and follow his schedule. He thinks the company are being to harsh with him and he would rather take things more slowly 

Self: his aura is on the red tones, he is doing well and actually happy with the news he received on his private life. His health also seems to be doing okay 

Jihoon

Love: He too seem to be in a close relationship at the moment, his partner has been very close to him and they see each other often (perhaps almost every day). His partner is someone known by his family that accepts them and are happy for them as well. His partner has also been taking care of him emotionally 

Career: Jihoon had been approached by a sponsor and at the moment he needs to make choices one other he wants to keep with his previous one or change. His company is also changing his contract and adding a few underlines that he is going through for his endorsements

Self: Despite leaving well, his energy is orange and this boy is hiding so much on himself. He doesn’t show his true self, only to those he is very close with, with everyone else he tries to always present himself with his idol image so people don’t question his intentions 

Yoshi

Love: He is single for now and he is mostly focused on his self love and on his own “therapy” Yoshi wants to firstly help on his self esteem and learn how to love himself before he can open his heart to someone 

Career: I feel there was some tensions here, either with staff or with a member, but Yoshi has lied to about something very important and personal which made him react very impulsively and with rage. He really hates when people take him for granted or think that he Is stupid for not understanding things 

Self: his energy is red and at the moment there’s a lot of reckless decisions and actions he does/ Yoshi is also having a lot of childish behaviors lately, specially with people that get under his skin (however everyone get under his skin easily lately)

Junkyu

Love: Junkyu is dating and bulging his relationship hope, since it’s still reset and they are both still learning about each other boundaries and needs. Junkyu is however very happy, even in love if I dare to say and he really wants this person to stay for a long while 

Career: he is focused and very practical, his career is everything to him and he pushed himself a lot in order to get the attention of the higher ups and get the opportunities he wants to reach

Self: he is honestly okay, either his mental or physical health, this boy is fairly stable and living his best live. He has no worries, no regrets, no nothing. He is living his life happily as it is 

Jaehyuk

Love: this man is currently going through a heartbreak and thus not interested in love nor anything that deals with it. For the moment he doesn’t want to hear about his ex, nor see her, or to have anything dealing with them. He just wants to move on

Career: if anything, this boy has one of the most powerful sponsors inside the company and they have been protecting him from everything (rumors, endorsements, opportunities, etc). His sponsor has been by his side and working with him in the shadows 

Self: a red energy around him, Jaehyuk is currently wanting to change himself, his personality might have shifted slightly, he wants to try new foods, new clothing, new styles. Wants to leave his old self behind 

Asahi

Love: he isn’t in a relationship and he also isn’t interested to get in one, at the moment his career and his financial stability is all that matters to Asahi 

Career: his career however is going as he had once planned, some fight have occurred inside the company, he hasn’t been talking to a member either lately. He is sick of being in Korea and just wants something new for his career

Self: he is beign resilient about everything, I wonder with that pink aura, if he is planning on leaving something related to his career or at least with some projects 

Haruto

Love: He too is in a relationship, although this one is fairly new, Haruto has been flirting and going out with this person and they have finally gave their “yes” answer to Haruto about starting a relationship. He is rather happy and enjoing it very much 

Career: lately his mind haven’t been much on the group nor on the activities, not that he doesn’t like it but he has a hard time with people that don’t appreciate him or are always commenting on his physic. He wishes fans to stop it. He hasn’t been very close to the members either 

Self: he is going through a intense introspection moment and Haruto has been listening to his inner voice a lot lately when it comes to make decisions about his life. His aura has been blue 

Doyoung

Love: he isn’t in a relationship yet but he trusts that he will very soon. Doyoung have been having on and off flings, he talks to a lot of people and flirts with many, and only takes what he wants. His self esteem is quite high and he believes he can get however just by the way he is. his eyes are set on a “bug prize” 

Career: He too was able to meet up with a lot of people outside the company for his career and his artistic projects. I believe Doyoung Is also making his own choice on what sponsor to have for his career

Self: bright pink aura around him, Doyoung has a very active sex life lately and he is almost making that a personally trait 

 Jeongwoo

Love: He is still in a relationship with his last partner and things seem to be going well. They are kind to him as much as he is to them and their relationship is slowly building into something nice and serious 

Career: He wants to innovate and to make something different as he feels that Treasure haven’t involved nor improve ever since their debut. He doesn’t like the music YG gives them and he is trying to talk it out with the company but It doesn’t seem to be working  

Self: nice orange aura, he is happy and being and and nice to everyone he knows, Jeongwoo also has been helping financially people that have been asking him for money 

Junghwan

Love: He had a fling with someone but before they could get together the person rejected him because they saw Junghwan as someone immature. Because od that he is trying to change things about himself, physically and personality wise in order to become more mature in the future 

Career: everything seem to be okay for him, he isn’t worried about anything and he just trusts his company with whatever. 

Self: blue aura around him, he is feelings excited, Junghwan wants to travel, to tour, to meet new places and people instead of always staying in the same places with the same over repeated schedules 

#Treasure #Treasure astrology #Treasure tarot #Treasure reading #Treasure imagines #Treasure scenarios #Treasure reactions #Treasure headcanons

[highladyluck]

Season 2, Episode 6 Liveblog

Elayne is getting a puzzle! :D this is such good enrichment for Elaynes

Rand’s secret little smile at ‘you can fight anyone’

“It needs to be healed” creepy but I kinda love it in a fucked up way

Not the pitcher :(

“That’s almost nice” WTF that’s so dehumanizing and so Seanchan

Well that’s almost entirely by the book

Compare/contrast these two chained up figures

Importance of chosen names

This is a much more effective mindfuck then whatever TGH Selene was attempting

Psssst Rand it’s bad when your new girlfriend separates you from your support network

Min you are harshing the vibe

“She broke the 3 oaths?” “Every single one” (Elayne took notes)

Names are a theme

I don’t think I want Lanfear doing me favors

“Many paths through the dark” I do appreciate leaning into the Lanbiguity

Suroth, if the Empress saw how you were toying with her Gardener she’d be very upset, those are Imperial property

Loial, have you considered: Stab them with the plant

We are about to have pitcher problems

The way the a’dam prevents a damane from using things they think of as weapons is a weird twisted echo of the 2nd oath. I’ve wondered if the Oaths would prevent Aes Sedai from making a’dam and I think it would depend on what the Aes Sedai termed a weapon that someone could kill another with.

Yeah this is pure book although the ‘you’re not a person’ line is an extra ouch

“Pour a glass of water” echoing horribly the water-cleaning from the tower

When you deal with the devil, that is actually how it works, I’m afraid

Temple of the Forsaken??? Y’all I need some fic set here. I need Dark Raves honoring Asmodean. I need therapy sessions that make you worse sponsored by the Acolytes of Graendal. I need Moghedonists whispering the sacred crypto wallet keys to each other.

Siuan is probs putting out diplomatic fires in Caemlyn now that they lost Elayne? Or attending Gawyn’s birthday party I guess

Oooh is it the trippy ~TGH dream sequence?

Lmao she calls him Ishy

“See the world as it really is in the World of Dreams” what a fascinating take

Do not ask about Egg!!! this is Lanfear she will make Egg into a flesh balloon for touching you

Smart Rand would be like ‘oh now I know you’re lying [about Egwene being Ishy’s]’ but Idk how smart he is

Oh this is heartbreaking she found the lost sister

Ooooooh are we going to see Bayle again so soon?

Nyneave like ‘I’ll allow it” but only because Elayne is saying what she would have

Elayne is getting a puzzle! :D this is such good enrichment for Elaynes

Awwww what a nice nosy boy who will repeat the contents of the letter

Watch she doesn’t stab you when you look away

Mommy issuessssss

I like the air knives

Because you want a legacy!

Ooooh lesson time. Everyone is barfing in this ep

Rand’s secret little smile at ‘you can fight anyone’

Oh god [MY BOYS!!!]

KISS!!! -ok moment’s gone

Mat and his lil grabby hand on Rand’s shoulder, my tactile boy

‘Some of the damane can sense people channeling’ guess we def changed the lore about how channelers sense each other, mildly annoyed about that, but it’s consistent within the show

That’s smart, trying to see the catch in the water like a mirror

Exercising power

Oooof that’s a new twist “I hope they told you at your White Tower how special you are”

Renna are you going to make her set it on fire??? The thing that comforts her? [post-ep I was thinking about the contrast in how the Seanchan command Loial and his tree powers- they are uncomfortable with it and have to ruin the moment. They don’t have the same power over him without tools.]

Well that was an uncomfortably sexually charged moment of excited panting [please tell me it wasn’t just me]

Proud of you, Egwene <3 Hah you made Renna mad good for you

Elayne: “I need a bestie real bad”

Mat gets it because Mat also has The Depression

RESCUE TIME

Min is like I am here to give you bad news, as is my fate

Mat’s good at bullshit detecting & does not handle betrayal well

This is very sweet but I feel like the subtext is “You will be eaten alive as king”

Pope hat

Oh my boys they are so sad

It’s time for… [Alanna and her posse corner Rand] OH SHIT IS IT HAPPENING?

I don’t think Nyneave does modulation

“It needs to be healed” creepy but I kinda love it in a fucked up way

Ooooof next time we see Ryma she’ll be with my Most Problematic Of Faves I guess 🫣😬☹️

This series loves to hang characters and if it can’t get Mat than anyone else will do

[Renna pours out the cup Egwene just filled] Oh fuuuuuuuck you Renna

You still won. You’re still alive

Our lost Blue Sitter coming in at the clutch

#wheel of time #wot book spoilers #wot on prime #wot on prime spoilers #wot on prime s2 #WoT on prime s2e6

[sebsxphia]

A couple of months after finding out you are pregnant, Jake has to go on a detachment where he won't have any contact with you, but he is supposed to get back before your due date.

Just when he was scheduled to return, you get the news. Jake is MIA. After a while of searching, when you are a few weeks away from giving birth, they find evidence that would suggest that he died. You spend the rest of your pregnancy mourning. You actually go into labour during one of your more vehement crying episodes.

Being exhausted from giving birth, you fall asleep with your baby in your arms. You do not want to let go of her - she is the only part of Jake you have left and you will hold her no matter what.

But soon, you wake to the feeling of someone lifting the comforting weight from your chest. Your body reacts immediately, tightening your hold on your daughter without looking, a small whimper escaping you.

"Shh, Darlin', it's okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" says an overly familiar voice. But that's impossible.

"Jake?" you ask as your eyes fly open, seeing him straightening from where he was bent over you when he attempted to take your baby in his arms.

"Hi Honey" he greets with the softest look on his face, tears filling his eyes.

You two meet in a hug, carefully surrounding your newborn with your bodies, crying into each other's shoulder, glad to have the gift of having not just one, but two of your favourite people in your arms. Your heart soars at having your husband back, and you are so excited to raise your daughter with him.

*

Congratulations for getting a sponsor!!! You're amazing!!! I'm so proud of you!!!

-💚

thank you so much for this incredibly gut wrenching yet sweet piece and for your sweet words! but please! pay for my therapy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this would have the same effect on jake as the 44 weeks would, but somehow would hurt more on you knowing that he was dead and then seeing him alive. i know there would be times when you would question it and maybe even hesitantly hand over your baby, but i know jake would do everything he could to gain your trust back 🥺💌

#💌you’ve got mail #jake hangman seresin #💚 anon #💐 these are for you!!

[blupengu]

Oh boy oh boy I finished Yves’s route…! Spoilers under the cut as usual!

👁️👄👁️ bruh

Okay one thing at a time! First off - Hugo is SO Yvesexual oh my god?? Bro just confess already please I’m sorry Ceres is getting in the way! “Partner” pffft yeah okay mister “I literally died from feeling too much love” sure, I hope we all find our own Hugo one day 😂

Also while all the CGs were beautiful in this route (oh his mask coming off, oh him crying in the corner, aaah the one with him sobbing into Ceres 😭 probably the best kiss CG even though it’s just like.. on the cheek LOL), can we talk about Yves’s hair-down sprite? Like… what is that. What happened? Yves honey who did your hair? Did you shred it with your sword yourself?? I would normally brush it off if it just looked a little odd, but Mathis, Lucas, and Ankou all have perfectly normal looking long hair (even Scien’s looks more normal) so clearly this was a choice. But it was a bad choice sorry my boy 💀

Now back to the route itself, I really liked it overall! Yves and Ceres I think have had the best romantic relationship build up (even if they both desperately need therapy). I just gotta yell out some feelings as if this is a liveblog lmao

The way I gasped when Dahut and Nadia showed up? Seriously I did not expect these two to steal my heart so much?? They’re truly a balm for my soul… Any time Dahut shows up now I’m like OH THANK GOD someone who doesn’t need therapy 😩

So… the science in his game has always been *hand wavey* and I think I’m generally good at just going with the flow in fictional stories, but like……… HUH??? Bruh I had to put down my controller and just stare at the screen for a hot second. We’re part flower - aight cool cool anime shit sure whatever. Their genes are different colors - uhhhh… okay, sure I guess? A pair of chromosomes are killed each year and that’s why everyone dies when they turn 23 - HOLD UP WHAT NOW??? Yoooo that’s actually hilarious it made me bust out laughing 😂 (I also still don’t understand why Yves’s family didn’t just tell Scien or someone about the fact that it was the toxins in the soil killing people?? Like bruh)

The whole “relivers can’t learn or change so people can’t even switch careers because their bodies don’t change” thing is also so dumb. Like… what does that even mean? If you worked out would you not gain muscle?? Practicing something wouldn’t help?? What about Hugo going from someone who didn’t have to work a day in his life to one of the best fighters just behind Yves and Adolphe in the Corps after he had become a reliver??? Ah nono don’t think about the science, don’t think about the science… 😩

I did very much love our boys banding together at the end though! If only it was against the mcfucking Royal family and Capucine (and whoever this mysterious “sponsor” is) instead of against Scien… dude I support your experiments, they really should’ve just let us die this time LOL (very glad Capucine got his ass handed to him though, god I hate Capucine… even though he’s kinda pretty, he’s not Jean levels of pretty enough to make me not hate him, especially after Nadia 😂 thank you Scien)

Also I’m sorry I went very feral with Lucas breaking free and showing up to help, especially in the Bourreau outfit in front of Yves and Adolphe!! Yaaas baby go use your superhuman strength to kill everyone, you’re doing great sweetie, SLAY!!! (literally) 😩😂 I really uwu-ed when Dahut was like, yeah I look up to Lucas so I’m kinda pissed at you Scien (best adult boy)… why do I feel like he’s gonna have a better chance at a happier end in Yves’s route than his own fucking salvation end lmao

And final thoughts, where was Ankou at the end?? I loved that he showed up to help Yves and he was the one to give him his mask, but buddy where did you go at the end??? Is there some multiverse or time travel shit going on???? Ceres really decided to follow in the footsteps of Lucas’s despair end with Yves though huh… 👁️👄👁️ sweetie I’m so sorry we really turned you in BBQ, a burnt chicken nugget, fire emblem Sigurd 💀 LMAO

Can’t wait to get into Le Salut!!

(But really why did Yves get 5 chapters when everyone else got 4… is it because he’s poster boy…? It’s because he’s poster boy isn’t it…)

#blupengu yells about virche evermore #virche spoilers #my post

[gaymormonmike]

Conversion

I want to share my thoughts on  conversion therapy. In 1969 after 5 years of riotous living as a gay man in the closet, I decided I wanted a more normal sounding life of marriage to a woman and to have children. At that time, the only conversion I knew about ( aversion and shock therapy etc.) was unacceptable to me. I went into psychoanalysis but my doctor told me that while converting could be my goal, it was not his goal for me . I did learn a lot about myself and actually became more comfortable with my gay sex self. I also started dating women. With nothing to go by from my therapist or in books, I believed that if I could marry a woman, my gay self would go away. In 1973 I got married to a woman who knew I had been gay. We  both  believed that period of my life was over. Probably no surprise to queer people that it was not. After I joined the church, so the last 30 years of my marriage, and now 40 years later, I was and am celibate. I have gay desires , fantasies but do not act on them. I have always had a temple recommend and worked in a temple for 20 years.  After joining the  church, I felt I had to come out to church leaders and to my wife. I sought help. I was comfortable with the title of having unwanted same sex attraction. I got involved in a church sponsored group that later became Evergreen. They believed in the works of Mobley, Nicholosi and others who believed being gay was a choice that you could change. I bought into that especially due to my childhood trauma, abuse from my father and the lack of a good male relationship growing up and into adulthood. While I did not go through conversion therapy, I bought into Exodus and both my wife and I attended Exodus groups for over a year. I did learn about addiction and dysfunctional families and  other good stuff that helped us in our marriage. I was loyal to my wife and for last 30 years of our marriage, I was having relations with only her. But she never really trusted me again and was possessive and jealous of my relationships with women and men. She decided to divorce me without discussing it with me. I never was told exactly why. I was able to change or add to my sexual identity. I wanted married life so much, I just did it. We raised two wonderful children and have 4 grand kids. There are still groups and therapist that treat people with the idea of converting their sexual identity. I believe that is OK. If someone, as an adult decides they want to go that route, I support them. It is just another option out there and I do not see them as an enemy. I am not in favor of those who preach the change is required by God . I was involved in a virtual group with a lot of men who see their sexual identity (SSA)  as unwanted. I understand that and was that way in my life for years. The LDS church does more harm than good to queer people. That saddens and frustrates  me. I had to work through a lot of things including SSA identity before I was ready to find my queer self and live with it and love myself with it. If my wife had been willing, I would still be married to her. I am happier at this point in my life than any other time. It was such confusion and pain when I could not accept my true self.  I understand if someone wants to try adding to or changing which lifestyle or gender they identify with. People who want to love and support them come in a lot of varieties.  My story is unique to me and it took tremendous desire and will power for me to change and I NEVER got rid of my gay desires. I would repeat those decisions that got me to accept and find my hetero side and to have the opportunity I had to have children. I realize that marriage and child rearing are available to queer people now but that was not the case when I wanted to change. If you have questions or thoughts, please share them.

#queerstake conversiontherapy LDS SSA

[doublel27]

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹 Dor the Bodyguard au please?

Ask and you shall recieve

~*~

“Why couldn’t I have been one of those Presidents’ kids who flies under the radar?” he asks no one in particular. “You’ve never struck me as a fly under the radar kind of guy, TK,” Carlos offers. TK shifts his head to look back at Carlos and there’s something akin to humor on his face. 

The tabloids liked him back when both his parents were senators. He had been young and his parents had been busy, and the parties and the men and the drugs had come easy. TK has been trying to put that behind him since his mother took him to rehab when he was 21. He’s been a poster child for recovery ever since and both his parents love to talk about the reasons why addiction should be treated as a disease.

They’ve never tried to hide him away and he’s grateful, truly, but he’s also a story they trot out for legislation. And while he knows that they want him safe and alive, TK also knows there’s a carefully constructed political strategy to having a protocol written up to keep him sober. The argument that treatment over jail works does better as long as he’s sober.

He’s always one moment away from the precipice. TK closes his eyes as the adrenaline is starting to wear off and as much as he wishes someone had let him go anywhere to get a fix of something, he knows what he has to do next.

TK sucks his bottom lip between his teeth and holds it there. He looks everywhere but at Carlos. “I should schedule a therapy appointment for this week, and a meeting with my sponsor.”

#ask meme #wip ask meme #wip ask game #writing asks #tarlos bodyguard au #doublel27 talks #anon ask #anon reply #carlos reyes #tk strand #sobriety #addiction

[hippiemikelove-blog]

#AllCannabinoids #BadRX #CannabisHeals #CannabisIsMedicine #CannabisRecovery #CBD #Indica #MikesMedicine #MikesMedicines #NatureNotPills #PharmaBeware #Sativa #StopTheSeizures #THC #WholePlant

[hacash]

ted lasso 2x05 thoughts

I was so overwhelmed by the Christmas ep that I don't think I even did a reaction post, but please consider me squealing with joy about everything but particularly Bumbercatch's knitting and Isaac as the only Santa Claus I will ever sexually fantasise about.

anyway

another Friday, another day in which the Ted Lasso writers shamelessly toy with my emotions and make my heart explode into teeny tiny pieces

I know some people didn't enjoy it but even as someone who's not that invested about romcoms I loved all the little references - I think it's always obvious when show writers are having fun with a concept and that fun ends up being infectious. that's precisely what this ep felt like: even if you don't personally vibe with it, it's still fun.

Bantr is now officially sponsoring the team! You love to see it. I wonder if we'll see any more of Dubai Air - or potentially see the financial fallout of the team going from being sponsored by a major airline to a new start-up dating app - but it's a nice bit of continuity.

I'm sure going to miss Roy-as-Pundit, but sometimes good things have to leave to make way for better things - bring on Coach Roy! The fact that his love for football ended up being the climax of the whole romcom arc was lovely - the dramatic romcom run to the stadium, leading to him coming back to his pitch and being greeted by his old chant? Not ashamed to say it: there were tears.

I love Isaac and Roy's underrated broship, so seeing Roy making an effort to connect with him and encourage him was absolutely lovely. And Roy and Ted back together again!

There were so many pure moments in this ep I can't even begin to describe. Getting Isaac back to himself by reminding him what he loved about the game as a kid all over again? More tears. Him leading the warm-up with a goofy kids' game and all the guys remembering to just have fun with a game they would all have fallen in love with when they were all young. Niagara Falls.

THE HIGGINSES. Such an unjaded portrayal of an established married couple who are still as bonkers about each other as they've always been.

Silly Rebecca! Silly stretching Rebecca! <3 <3 <3

Nate's on the right path in settling into himself and gaining more confidence, but we've still clearly got a little way to go - I'm interested to see if the introduction of Roy to the coaching team will have a big impact (after all, we know Nate's always looked up to Roy, and if there's anyone who Nate will worry is about to take his place...). I'm glad we're getting more demonstrations of why Nate's been acting out a bit this season, and seeing more of his insecurities just makes me want to hug him. (And yes, I'm still waiting for the Nate Strut.)

Also I love how geniune and kind Keeley was with Nate and figuring out straight away that he didn’t want to get famous just for fame’s sake. I really want to see more of them in future: I feel like Nate needs some good female friends.

Dani: 'My mother said I was born caffeinated.' OH DANI.

Sadly not much Sam or Jamie in this episode, but I appreciate Sam's recognition of the Bridget Jones movies. (On that note: as another romcom shoutout I would have loved to see a mock-up of the Colin Firth and Hugh Grant fight in this episode - arguably the best scene in romcom history - but I realise the universe cannot give us everything.)

Colin posting about Welsh independence! I've said it before and I'll say it again: every new episode I start by thinking I couldn’t love his character more, and every episode Billy Harris and the writers decide to prove me wrong.

‘But it will all work out. Now it may not work out how you think it will, or how you hope it does, but believe me: it will all work out exactly as it’s supposed to. Our job is to have zero expectations and just let go.’ WELL COLOUR ME SCARED OF THIS IMPENDING DARK FOREST.

This whole therapy thing is bearing down on Ted like an avalanche and I for one am here for the emotional fallout.

Maybe it's being screwed around repeatedly by tv showrunners who want to prove how smart they are (SW, GoT, Moffat, Marvel) by whipping the rug out from under the viewers' feet, but I am so tense and so suss about this 'Ted and Rebecca are totally chatting on Bantr' thing that it's driving me crazy. On the one hand: I need it so much it's like air. On the other hand: if this turns out to be a double-bluff would that mean that the showrunners do have Ted & Rebecca as endgame and just want to do a bit of messing with us first? I DON'T KNOW and it's driving me mad.

#ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #the little things

[nat-20s]

what’s poppin everyone please have this fun lil writing warmup/short story inspired by me thinking “Dancing in the Moonlight” was definitely 100% about werewolves

~*~

“So, this your first transformation?”

The counselor? Leader? Tour guide? Asked this with a perfectly jovial tone, as if the typical social mores surrounding, ugh, lycanthropy, didn’t apply to her. They didn’t know what exact title to call her, and her name tag just said “Luna”, which, reflecting on it, either was a joke on her part or a reflection of her parents’ sense of humor.

Picking at the scabs from last month, they cringed and replied, “No. Uh. Second.”

Luna lets out a low whistle. “Oof. That sucks. Guessing you got bitten rather than inherited the ol’ wolfman gene?”

“That’s...kind of personal?”

Unlocking the front door of the log cabin that served as King Harvest’s Headquarters, Luna shrugs and says, “Shit, sorry. Forgot the whole weird stigma around your source of the once monthly nightmare, as if it fuckin matters. Also, I know, I know, ass out of you and me. Hey, you got any dietary restrictions? Gluten, peanut allergies, the like?”

Voice flat, they tell her, “I’m vegetarian,” and waits for the obvious response.

As they wander through the cabin towards the kitchen, Luna flipping on the light switches, generic club music starts to filter in. Instead of the obvious response, Luna asks, “You like veggie burgers? Or maybe pasta? I’d offer salad, but that’s really not gonna cut it for tonight.”

“I ate before I came.”

With a snort, she tells them, “Oh yeah? Did you have about 4000 calories?”

“No? Why would I have?”

Sweeping out her arm, she gestures at the food laying out on the counter and tells them, “Then eat up! 4000 is really a minimum for the night if you don’t want to feel like someone physically beat out all of your energy in the morning. 6000 is more the target area, but we got, hmm, about 15 minutes before things get uncomfortable, and half an hour max before things get dire.”

They glance down to the food, and, admittedly, the broccoli alfredo does look pretty appealing. Still, they have to ask, “Is this a cult?”

Luna lets out a bark of a laugh that has nothing to do with her (maybe) being a werewolf. “Okay, first of all, what kind of cult is like ‘fuck yeah, we’re a cult’? Secondly, despite the first thing, I can say that we’re not a cult. I know how “King Harvest: Center for Movement Therapy” sounds, both clinical and vague enough to be suspicious as hell, but I didn’t come up with the title, blame my long deceased dad for that one. Plus, ‘King Harvest: Bitchin’ Wolf Dance House’ probably wouldn’t look good on the grant applications.”

“Grants?”

“Oh yeah. This bad boy’s been publicly funded since its opening in 1972. Hence no membership fees.”

“Is that why animal control is giving out your business card? Are they one of your sponsors?”

“Nah, that’s just Jack. Me ‘n’ him go way back, hell, to his park ranger days.  I mean, yeah, I think he’ll campaign for us, but mostly I think he just hates capturing a wolf in the night only to have a naked, trembling human in the morning, and he knows that our program significantly reduces the odds of that happening, at least in this neck of the woods.”

They let out a hum, then glance back down to the food. As appealing as it down look, they’re still about..30% convinced this is an elaborate organ harvesting operation. Or sketchy sex thing.

Apparently sensing their hesitation, Luna says, “You got a favorite chip?”

“Salt and vinegar.”

Grabbing a sealed family sized bag from the overhead cabinets, Luna tosses it to them. “If you come back next full moon, either eat enough in advance or have a real meal here. That being said, excuse the turn of phrase, you should wolf that down. It’s sure as hell better than nothing.”

They catch it, and the bag opens with a puff of air that speaks to a reassuring lack of tampering. As they toss a chip into their mouth, Luna grabs a water bottle from the fridge and places it down next to them. “So? Any questions for me? We’ve still got about ten minutes before we have to go out there.”

Rolling their eyes, they tell her, “No. None at all.”

“Great! Soon as you’re done eating we’ll get you started.”

“I was being sarcastic.”

“Yeah, no shit, smart-ass. Seriously, what are your, we haven’t got much time.”

“I don’t know? The whole..thing? I mean, how is it supposed to..work? Like? At all?”

“You ever see Amok Time?”

“Is that relevant?”

“It’s a yes or no question babe.”

“And if I say no?”

“Then the explanation is going to be a lot more technical and take a lot longer, ultimately to likely make less sense.”

“...I’ve seen it.”

“Great! So, Pon Farr is basically this chemical blood imbalance that results in fuck or die disorder, yeah? But then Spock neither fucks nor dies, and eventually the vulcans get their shit together and find out that an intense fight can serve the same function, and the blood fever chills out. Lycanthropy operates on a similar enough basis for comparison. You’re compelled to act out on energetically heavy base instincts, returning to the ways of the wolf or whatever. Traditionally, that’s done through running and hunting, which has, historically, been a crapshoot at best. Theoretically, sex can also get the job done, but I’m sure you can imagine how that gets extremely dicey extremely quickly. Either restraints or isolation has been implemented for a while, but, c’mon, they’re bandaid solutions, and they’re far from foolproof. Luckily for us all, my grandmother decided to connect back with her ancestors, and there was a handful of stories having huge festivals to deal with ‘moon violence’. She tried it out, and, yeah, dancing works.”

“That sounds…”

They don’t know how that sounds. Made up, mostly.

“Like a bunch of hippie bullshit? Yeah, it kind of is, Grandma Josephine was a huge hippie, but it’s hippie bullshit that works. In fact, let’s go see the others, it almost always makes things clearer.”

Figuring that whatever they’re about to see can’t be worse than their transformation last month. They head through the sliding glass door out the back, the thump of the music suddenly loud enough to be felt in their chest. The sight that awaits them makes them drop their chips and let out a gasp. Barely able to speak, they exhale out, “None of them...they’re not wolves. How..how??”

Indeed, the roughly forty people jumping to the pulse of whatever they’re listening to (some to the in house DJ, some, apparently, to what’s playing over the large headphones they have adorned), resemble the image of a wolfman much more accurately. They bare claws, fangs, elongated snouts, upright ears, and  serious amounts of hair, but they’re on two legs, and moving like humans. Some of them are even singing along to the lyrics, which really shouldn’t be possible.

Luna grins, making it obvious that she’s used to this level of shell shocks. “Ultimately, you do have to give into some damn rigorous instincts. But dancing is a human instinct, not a canine one, so you end up, well, humanoid. Pretty nifty, huh?”

“And they all..they all keep their minds? I didn’t...they don’t blackout?”

“Not since we banned alcohol in the 90s! Here, watch this.”

Luna nods her head at the DJ, and the DJ, obligingly, turns down the music for a moment. The members of the crowd not listening to their own music pause, then look towards the door. She cries out, “Hey gang! HOW WE ALL DOIN’ TONIGHT?”, and gets a mix between a howl and “WOO!” cried back. The DJ then turns the music back up, and the general movement of the crowd resumes.

They should be more skeptical. They want to be more skeptical, they were just minutes before, but it’s hard to disagree with something right in front of you. “This will work for me? I just..have to dance?”

“Well, it’s not guaranteed. Few things are. But we have yet to have someone turn violent on us. If you start to fell yourself slipping from consciousness, though, I do ask that you start heading further into the woods, as to not hurt other guest. If you find yourself just getting tired, there’s beds inside, and a fair amount of pillows around the edge of the quote unquote dance floor, if you end up in more of a nesting mood. Also, I recommend taking off your shoes before you start.”

“What? Why?”

Luna gives a pointed glance at the dancers’ feet, which, ah. They’re about twice as large as normal and at least twice as sharp. The converse on their feet would be no match. “Ah.”

“Ready?”

They shove off their shoes and place the remainder of their chips aside. “As I’ll ever be.”

Good thing, too, as they’re starting to feel an uncomfortable pressure in their chest that was the prelude to disaster last month.

Luna strides to the center of the dance floor, which is really a plush lawn surrounded by forest. The crowd naturally moves around her, and she yells out, “Aiyana! Play my song!”

Aiyana gives a nod, and the opening notes of “Dancing in the Moonlight” start to sound out. “Seriously?”

Luna shrugs, grinning like a fool, and says, “It’s a classic!”

“It’s cliché at best.”

Luna shrugs, and then begins dancing. She’s hardly elegant, but she is dazzlingly joyful in her uncoordinated movements. As the song reaches the first chorus, she gives a twirl, and in the split second it takes, she’s transformed. They blink in shock, not knowing you could transform that seamlessly, that quickly, that painlessly. Luna in half wolf form is just as expressive as the human Luna, and she gives a nod over her shoulder as if to say Come on.

Feeling somewhat foolish, they start to bop their head to the tune. Luna lets out a huff and grabs their hands, spinning them around and forcing them to get moving. At first, it’s them indulging Luna, but as they let themselves get lost in rhythm, they feel a stretching sensation in their face and limbs. It’s not unpleasant, more like when you wake up and work out the tension in your spine. They open their eyes and look down at their hands, now covered in fur in and made for slashing. It didn’t hurt. It didn’t hurt, and they’re still themselves, and they had no idea that full moons could be like this, maybe for the rest of their lives.

They turn their head to the night sky, and their body can’t help but continue to dance. Despite all their fear, all their dread, “movement therapy” worked, and they can admit, at least to themselves, that they feel warm and bright.

#my writing #nats journey into writing short stories based on 70s songs continues lmao

[blueknightdg]

We’re Soulmates

---------------------

She was a lovely girl, big blue eyes and midnight hair. We met at a convention. The convention lasted a week and it was in england.

-------------------

I only went to the convention because my father was there under cover. I was bored and wandered around without interest. She was server.

She offered me a pastry, just a was about to decline, a villain showed up. She seemed like a weak girl, so I grabbed her and lead her away. Unfortunately, she was their target. I didn't know why, but they captured her.

I couldn't let them take her, so I tried to get her back. They ended taking me with them. I turned on my tracking device and hoped that we'd be in the same room or at least nearby.

We did, but there were no windows or bars, just thick, see through plastic walls.

I asked her questions to see if I could get a read in what we were dealing with. She was hesitant, but decided to tell me what she could so we could get out of there.

From what she’s said, they want to get information out of her. Her friend was the son a villain, who long ago disappeared when he exposed by said friend. Her friend then went into witness protection and never seen again. Magic was involved and she didn’t want to say more. What’s more, the government of where she’s from erased all traces of what happened so they don’t have such a big blemish on its record. Seemed like she hadn’t meant to say all of that, but she was in a panic.

------------------

I didn’t know when the kidnappers where going to come and she didn’t look like she could handle any interrogation they would give her, so I hatched a plan.

I guided her on how to pick locks with hairpins and I undid hers. We then carefully snuck out. Unfortunately, we were spotted and I carried her as I ran. She was most likely slow.

By the time they caught up to us, Batman and his crew showed up.

--------------

Me and the girl were reunited with our respective families and I never thought much of her again. I did, however, look into which villain her friend was the child of and how well covered up it was.

To say it was almost impressive how well they did was no small thing. Though, a public blog was still up but inactive. Mostly because the person who created it was fiction novelist and amature journalist. They have little credibility, but I’m sure there was some truth to it hidden under all the fantasies.

---------------

I eventually did meet the girl later on in that same year when my sponsored eco event began. I hired her parents to cater and she was there. She was trying to help her parents by being a waitress. They wouldn’t let her, because she was an active member of the event. She was incharge of overseeing children in the daycare. 

When one of the kids took a liking to me, she tried to get them to stop bothering me. The child made things a lot worst by telling me to marry her. She was embarrassed and kept apologizing to me.

I waved her off and just plopped the child her arms. I walked away, hoping she could distract the child. Didn’t work, the child was back and more adamant to play matchmaker.

-------------------

“Manon, just why do you want him to marry me? We don’t know each other!”

“He’s pretty! You’re pretty! You can be pretty together!”

“We are way to young for that. Manon, looks aren’t everything. How would you feel if someone tried making you marry someone just because they thought you’d look cute together?”

“...upset....I’m sorry Marinette, I just wanted to make you happy.”

“Thank you, Manon, but relationships don’t solve problems. Now, please apologize to him for making him uncomfortable.” 

---------------------------

After that we’d see each other once every other event or conference. Eventually, we became friends. She was the one who helped me realize I like Raven and set up dates for us. It’s thanks to her we got married. She truly was an angel.

Figuratively and literally, Marinette died in an unforeseen accident as the group that kidnapped us all those years ago, took her friend and she went to save him. I went with her, as did my family. 

Her dedication to her friend, her loyalty is what got her killed. It was a mess and so many things went wrong. We saved him, but she got hurt in the process. For days, we waited in the hospital, hoping the surgery would succeed. It did not, she flat lined. Her friend cried and so did I. I named my child after her. She was the best friend I never knew I wanted until I met her.

----------

I remember her confining in me that she was tired of being pushed. When my brothers teased and made jokes about us being together, it hurt her. She recalled her friend that was a villain’s son had been confused and toxic when they were younger. He didn’t understand her, that if he loved her that he shouldn’t have done what he use to do before going to therapy. Sure they made up and he got better, but he traumatized her with his pushing. 

When he realize what he did to her was wrong, he apologized and never went near her again, he avoided her. She was confused and had started to believe his old behavior was okay. It hurt her to agree with him that he should never be alone with her ever again.

----------

My brother’s teasing got so bad that she snapped and started crying. I was really mad, I glared at them.  We told them once, we told them twice, we told them so many times to stop it and they didn’t listen. She was forced to open up and tell them things she didn’t want to say. She told them how she had rather to love on her own terms and not be pushed into it. She didn’t trust her own decision in love and rather not deal with it at all. I was happy they felt so guilty. She was like a soulmate to me. A sister that truly cared and understood my feelings.

My brothers did what they could to show her how sorry they were and gave us both space. 

----------

I didn’t talk to them for a good four years. Eventually we did talk again and I wouldn’t let them near her for several months after.

My gosh, do I miss her.

---------------

Raven understood. She was as close to her as I was. I tried to move on and so did she, but she couldn’t handle it. We talked and our marriage wasn’t going to last if it kept up. We let our daughter decide on if we have joint custody or she’d go with either of us.

-----------

She didn’t want either of us. She was mad. We hadn’t talked for so long, that by the time we reconnected, I was an old man.

------------------

Before I went, she talked to me. She had finally understood and wanted me back in her life even if mine was ending. She was there even if Raven couldn’t. Raven had moved on from Marinette’s death at last, but with regret, she would then have to move on from mine. 

She aged slower than a normal person. She still looked so young compared to me. I told her how beautiful she was.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to do anything?”

“I’m sure, at the very least I want to die like a normal person.”

She smiled at last, “Please, you’re just happy to see your sister again.”

I chuckled, “If they let me.”

She frowned, “Of course they will,” she spoke softly.

“You are a good person and I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you again.”

“I hope so.”

With that I closed my eyes.

--------

The End.

Not all soulmates are romantic and not all ladybugs get together with someone. I just really wanted one where they don’t fall in love and prove that she didn’t have to have a lover. She’s a solid person that’s not defined by what other people believe after all.

#Marinette #Damian #Daminette #maribat #au #Soulmate #batman #robin #raven #Damirae #platonic #platonic soulmate #miraculous #ladybug #miraculous ladybug

[alwaysbeyondhope]

Just watched 2x3 again and I am smiling like an idiot…so here are some thoughts - totally not gonna be well organized or anything but here we go!

Ted / Sassy / Rebecca

omg the man is adorable and slightly insufferable but if he’s that eager to please it means his head game is gotta be strong. Add that mustache into the mix and fuck yeah Sassy I bet it was incredible!

sidenote: only a little disappointed that Rebecca’s response was to spit out the biscuit. But she doesn’t know that she’s in love with Ted yet. And it’s a playfully icky thing to hear about your BFF’s sex life.

Rebecca / Nora

I fucking love Nora and I really really hope we get to see more of her. Because she is amazing. She loves Rebecca but isn’t afraid to speak her mind or call her out on past behaviors. And she’s so stinking cute but in a kickass way, not a baby way.

And the email scene is fucking GOLD. Partly because I play both parts when I write work emails sometimes, partly because Nora is just so not interested in the toxic male bullshit. And when Rebecca ends with “boss ass bitch” and Nora can’t believe it…ugh it makes me want to cry happy tears.

Sam / Dubai Air

Someone else on here pointed out that if Sam’s parents watch his matches they must have seen that Dubai Air sponsors the team. Maybe his parents didn’t know who the parent company was until recently. Who knows. Still makes for good conflict. And I love how they played this out with the black tape and the whole team taking part in it

Ted / Led Tasso

Wtf this was amazing and hilarious and I loved it.

Keeley / Jamie

I LOVE this development with the two of them. Last episode Jamie came to Keeley and opened up to her because she’s the one who made being vulnerable seem okay - “when I think of talking I think of you” - and they could have very easily let Keeley be that person that Jamie can talk to and lean on. But she’s got her own work to deal with, her time is more valuable than listening to Jamie’s team conflicts. So establishes a boundary here - introduces Jamie to Sharon Fieldstone, someone trained in therapy that can actually help.

Like this is so fucking important. And they play it off like it’s the most normal thing in the world. But for so many people boundaries like this are hard to establish and maintain. I just love how they played this and I’m so here for Sharon being a part of things this season.

Rebecca / Ted / Bantr

I am DESPERATE for this to go where I want and hope for it to go. You’ve Got Mail with a ted on the other end of this app and him and Rebecca falling for each other. Different enough in how they communicate online that they don’t know it’s each other until there are plans to meet up. I want it so badly. (“I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly”)

But we know that Rebecca’s dating life is still gonna be a train wreck (from interviews with HW) so there has to be other guys Rebecca’s talking to before or during talking to “mystery man” Ted.

Next episode is the Christmas episode and I’m excited and anxious but this was by far my favorite episode this season, and probably my favorite episode so far in the show. Maybe tied with For The Children.

Ffuucckkk this show is so good!

#ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #ted x rebecca #2x3 #the best episode yet #my thoughts

[suituuup]

pieces - chapter twelve

Five years ago, Chloe dropped off the face of the Earth. Beca didn’t expect to see her again dancing in a strip club, out of all places.

rated: E (drug use and emotional abuse in early chapters)

ao3 link

*

Chloe was surprised to hear music drifting through the apartment when she got home from her late-afternoon NA meeting that Thursday evening. 

It had been four days since they had come back from Oregon, and Beca had spent most of her time at the label, often coming home after Chloe was down for the night and leaving before she was up. She always left a note and texted Chloe throughout the day to check on her, but Chloe could tell something was off. 

She rounded the corner to find Beca cooking at the stove, and smiled. “Hi.”

“Hey you,” Beca greeted with a matching smile. “You hungry? Making a stir-fry.” 

“Starving. This baby is making me eat for three,” Chloe mumbled as she walked past Beca to pluck a bottle of sparkling water from the fridge. She uncapped it and took a sip, leaning against the counter. “Are you alright? I couldn’t help but notice you’ve seemed off since we got back.” 

Beca nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. I uh,” she cleared her throat as she reached for two plates in the cupboard over her head. “I broke up with Sarah the other night.” 

Chloe’s eyes popped wider in shock. “Oh.”

Beca set both plates on the island, then opened the cutlery drawer. “Yeah… and I kinda threw myself into work, because that’s what I do to cope with my emotions.” She grimaced again, meeting Chloe’s eyes. “I’m sorry I haven’t been around much.” 

Chloe shook her head. “No, no, it’s okay. I’m sorry, Bec.” She wondered what the reason for the break-up was, but she doubted Beca wanted to get into that. “Are you sure you’re okay?” 

“Thanks. Yeah. It’s, um, life, right?” She shrugged a little as she turned off the stove. “We just weren’t looking for the same thing.” 

Chloe nodded slowly, then pushed off the counter. “Okay. I’m here if you wanna talk, alright?” She hitched her thumb over her shoulder. “I’m just going to freshen up, I’ll be back in a couple of minutes.” 

Beca had scooped food into each plate and poured water into two glasses when she got back clad in comfier clothes, and Chloe perched herself on the stool across from Beca. 

“Thanks for making dinner,” she murmured as she dug in.

“No problem. Did your NA meeting go okay?” Beca asked as she stabbed a couple of vegetables with her fork. 

Chloe chewed and swallowed, then took a sip of her water. “Yeah, it went fine. My sponsor is amazing. We’re meeting for coffee tomorrow morning. Well, tea for me.” Decaf just wasn’t the same. 

“Cool.” Beca smiled. “I was thinking we could get a start on the nursery soon? Have you thought of a color for the walls?”

“You wanna paint the walls?” Chloe asked in surprise. “We don’t have to do that, you know. I don’t want you to be stuck with a nursery-looking room once Bean and I move out.” 

Beca shrugged. “I have another guest room, and I kinda want Bean to have their own room whenever you guys come to visit.” 

Chloe’s heart swelled against her ribs. She wasn’t sure what she had done to deserve someone like Beca back in her life, but she wasn’t going to screw it up this time around. And she had thought about what she wanted Bean’s nursery to look like, but didn’t allow herself to daydream about it until now. “I like those beige walls the way they are, but I was thinking of a woodland theme? Something gender-neutral, for sure. A few animal frames, maybe an animal mobile above the crib?” 

“That sounds nice,” Beca said, smiling. “Are you going to find out the sex at your next appointment?” 

“I think so, yeah.” 

“That’s the 26th at 3, right?” Beca asked, surprising Chloe once more. Upon catching her look, Beca added, “I wrote it down in my planner.” 

It was one thing to have written down, another to remember it off the bat like that, but Chloe didn’t even know why she was surprised. Beca had been nothing short of amazing since Chloe decided to keep the baby, between keeping track of the baby’s growth on her app or making sure to pick up ginger ale every time she went grocery shopping.

“Oh. Yeah, the 26th at 3.” 

As Chloe further settled into her second trimester, her constant exhaustion gradually faded away. She felt more energized from the start of her fifteenth week, which felt like a breath of fresh air. As her OBGYN saw nothing against it, she started each day with a morning fitness walk followed by a yoga session, then settled down to have some breakfast as she read her book. After lunch, she either had a therapy session or an NA meeting, except for Wednesdays and over the weekend. 

The cravings were still there, sitting somewhere at the back of her mind, but she continued pushing through, for the baby’s sake first and foremost, but also because she didn’t want to disappoint her support system and risk losing them forever if she did fall back into old habits. The taunting was strong, every time she walked in front of the liquor store or a familiar street corner where she would get the good stuff, but she resisted, and never hesitated to call Aubrey or her parents when her resolve wobbled a bit too much for her liking. 

“Shit,” Chloe muttered as she tried buttoning her pants up, her more than noticeable belly getting in the way. She had just reached 17 weeks, and her bump seemed to have popped a little more overnight. So had her boobs. She could also start to feel some movement going on in there, which was absolutely mind-blowing. 

Not ready to accept defeat yet, Chloe grunted at the effort of bringing these two stupid pieces of fabric closer together, exhaling with a sigh when they didn’t budge. 

“Chlo?” Beca called out, a knock on Chloe’s bedroom door following. “We should get going.” 

“I know, I just-- can’t get my pants to button,” Chloe muttered with a huff. 

A pause. “Can I come in?” 

“Yeah.” 

The door was pushed open, and Beca appeared, leaning against the frame. 

She Beca looked amused, causing Chloe to glare at her. “Maybe wear a dress?” 

Chloe’s nose wrinkled. “I only have stripper dresses.” That she should definitely donate, or get rid of. 

Beca hummed. “Mesh shorts?” 

“I guess, yeah.” 

“We can go buy some stuff after your appointment if you want?” Beca suggested as Chloe wrestled out of her jeans and slid on a pair of shorts Beca lent her. 

“Yeah, definitely.” She needed bras, too. “Okay, I’m ready.” 

As her last ultrasound at 13 weeks, Chloe didn’t have to change when they got there, and she laid down on the cot as they waited for the tech to come in. Beca stood by her side, scrolling through her phone. 

“So the Bellas’ results are in: 6 say boy, 4 say girl. I said girl.” 

Chloe had broken the news to the girls when they came back from Oregon and had once again received nothing but support. Bets started coming in over the gender, the due date, and whether Bean was going to come out with ginger hair. 

Chloe chuckled as she rubbed her bump with her palm. “You only said girl because I told you I felt like it was a girl.” 

Beca smirked. “They don’t have to know that.” Her expression softened as she pocketed her phone. “You excited to find out?” 

“Yeah,” Chloe breathed out. She was more anxious to hear about how Bean was doing and braced herself for bad news. 

“Hi there,” the tech greeted as she came in. “How are you doing, Chloe?” 

“Good. Hungry all the time.” 

The other woman laughed as she rolled the ultrasound machine closer. “Let’s take a look at that baby. Can you lift your top up for me and lower your shorts a little bit?” 

Chloe did so, reaching for Beca’s hand as the tech squirted some of that cold gel onto her tummy. 

“Alright, let’s see…” the woman drawled out as she moved the wand until she got the perspective she wanted. “Here we go.” 

“Oh, they got so big,” Chloe murmured in awe. 

“They’re moving around quite a bit,” the tech observed with a smile, pointing at the baby’s kicking legs. 

Beca gasped and tore her eyes away from the screen to glance at Chloe. “Can you feel that?” 

“Yeah,” Chloe confirmed, blinking back the tears pricking behind her eyes. “Feels like butterflies taking off in my belly.” 

“Strong heartbeat,” the tech continued. “Baby’s in the perfect position to tell their gender if you want to know?” 

“Yes, please,” Chloe said with a nod. 

“Looks like you’re having a baby girl, Chloe.” 

“A girl?” Chloe croaked out, a lump rising to her throat. The gender didn’t matter to her but knowing made it feel a thousand percent more real. She felt a squeeze to her hand and found Beca smiling down at her. “We’re in trouble. I was a handful as a kid.”

Beca chuckled. “If she has your eyes, I definitely am in trouble. Won’t be able to say no to anything she asks for, I’m warning you now.” 

The way they talked, it almost sounded like they were going to raise Bean together, and Chloe’s heart did another funny thing. Over the last couple of weeks, she had been experiencing weird feelings for Beca that went beyond the friendship line, but she was convinced it was just her hormones acting up like they did with her libido. Chloe felt aroused pretty much all the time, it was getting ridiculous. She also cried in front of a Budweiser commercial because the puppies were cute, so her body and emotions were definitely out of whack. 

The doctor came in shortly after, easing Chloe’s worries when she assured her the baby looked healthy, with normal measurements all around. They scheduled another ultrasound four weeks from now, and she and Beca were on their way with three copies of the ultrasound, one for Chloe, one to put on the fridge, and one Beca requested to store in her wallet. 

Beca drove them to Target next, and instead of heading to the maternity clothing section, Chloe went straight for the baby stuff, pulling a chuckle from Beca as she pushed the cart alongside. 

“Okay, I wanna buy everything,” Chloe mused aloud as she put a onesie back on the rack, even though she found it adorable.

“I know you’re still uncomfortable with it, but please don’t restrain yourself because it’s my money,” Beca said, as though reading Chloe’s thoughts. “I haven’t really had anyone to spend it on, so it’s my pleasure to get Bean whatever they need. Crib, car seat, changing table, stroller, clothes… you name it.” She smirked, nodding towards the rack. “So get that rainbow onesie, because it’s the cutest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.” 

Chloe giggled and nodded, her eyes shining with unspoken gratitude before she reached for the onesie. It was scary to think of how small her baby girl was going to be as a newborn, and Chloe was so glad she wasn’t doing this on her own. 

She selected five more, all animal-themed ones, then moved onto shirts and pants, showing Beca what she thought was cute to get her avail. She kept in mind that the Bellas and her parents were probably going to go overboard with gifts and paced herself on the quantity of stuff she dropped into the cart. 

“I feel like we should get the crib, stroller, and car seat from like, a special store?” Beca chimed in as they strolled through the blankets/swaddles section. She scrunched up her nose. “I don’t think I trust Target brands when it comes to sturdiness. I actually strumbled across a car seat that looks amazing, it goes from that to a stroller in just a few folds and clicks.” 

Chloe cast her an amused look. “How did you stumble across that, exactly?” 

Beca’s cheeks reddened. “By looking up the best strollers on the market.” She cleared her throat when Chloe giggled. “I just have a lot of time to kill on the subway.” Another grimace. “Is that too invasive?” 

Chloe shook her head, reaching out to rest her hand on Beca’s forearm. The contact of her skin under her fingertips made Chloe swallow as her body immediately reacted. Freaking hormones. “Not at all. I promise.” 

Chloe managed to walk away from the baby part of the store before she bought the whole thing, and headed to the maternity wear, buying a couple of jeans with an elastic waistband, a belly band, a few bras, and a pregnancy pillow. 

“Your total is $843,50,” the cashier announced once he had rung everything up, and Chloe swallowed thickly, glancing at Beca with slightly wider eyes. 

“It’s fine, Chlo,” Beca insisted as she swiped her credit card through the device. She thanked the cashier and grabbed most of the bags, letting Chloe carry the two lighter ones. Everything easily fit into Beca’s large trunk, and Chloe slid in the passenger seat, buckling up. “Any particular craving for dinner? We can stop for take-out on the way home,” Beca said as she slid her sunglasses over her nose before pulling out of their parking spot.

“I could go for a burger and fries. And a milkshake.” 

Beca grinned. “Cool, I’ll stop at Shake Shack.” 

Once they got home, they hauled everything upstairs and stored it in the nursery for now, and Chloe changed into sweatpants and Beca’s Bellas hoodie which she had never given back, picking an episode of The Office for them to watch. 

“Oh, I forgot,” Beca said after they were done eating, pushing to her feet. “Stay put.” 

Chloe did as she was told, giving Beca a curious look when she walked back to the couch with a package. Setting her milkshake on the coffee table, Chloe plucked it from her hands. “What’s this?” 

“A little something for Bean,” Beca murmured as she sat back down beside her, folding one leg underneath and hugging the other to her chest. “I ordered it when we got back from Oregon and forgot to give it to you.” 

Chloe ripped the tape over the opening and peered inside, fishing the box out. “Belly headphones?” She asked even though that’s what it said on it, her voice wavering slightly as emotions once again rose to her throat. She could blame that on the hormones too, right? 

Beca nodded. “I read that babies can hear from 18 weeks on, and I thought it would be cool if Bean listened to music before she’s born. And you know nobody takes picking out a pair of headphones as seriously as I do, so I thought I was the right guy for the job.” 

A watery chuckle burst past Chloe’s lips. “This is amazing. Thank you.” She leaned forward to hug Beca, holding her tight. Her scent did another number on Chloe, and she inhaled sharply, willing her body to chill out as she backed away. “For this, and for today…” She couldn’t remember the last time she had smiled so much. “I really don’t know what to say besides thank you.” 

“You’re welcome, Chlo,” Beca said, a soft smile curving her lips. “I’m just happy you’re finding your way back step by step.” 

Chloe nodded, exhaling. The light at the end of the tunnel was just in sight, and while it was another long way to reach it, she felt like she could, and that on its own felt like a victory. 

#bechloe #bechloe fic #pieces

[wherevermyway]

why can’t we drink forever? (1/2) // minsung // 18+

one: i will only complicate you series navigation: [desktop] [mobile]

⚠ POTENTIAL TW: READ WITH CAUTION! ⚠ pairing: lee minho x han jisung rating: explicit! 18+ warnings/tags: creator chose not to use archive warnings, explicit sexual content past character death, alcohol abuse/alcoholism, depression, edgy cynical depressed jisung, ambiguous/open ending. word count: 5,883 also on AO3

originally posted: 20 january 2021

After being arrested for driving under the influence, Jisung learns that money can buy his way out of jail time, but it can’t buy his way out of his feelings.

disclaimer: this is a work of fiction! any reference to persons in this work of fiction are purely coincidental. the characters referenced from Stray Kids are  interpretations loosely based on their personalities in the group and do  not represent the real people behind the personas. if this, or any of  the content included in the warnings above make you uncomfortable,  please stop reading now.

“I don’t know how things got this way, Sungie, baby. I’m worried about you.”

A sarcastic huff leaves the lips of the young man seated in the passenger seat of a sleek, new all-white Audi. He kicks his feet up on the dash, earning a frown from the middle-aged woman driving the vehicle. The young blonde stares out the window as he fumbles around his hoodie pocket. Out comes a white pack of Marlboro Gold cigarettes and an engraved silver lighter.

“You and me both, ma,” he tuts as he pops a white cigarette up from the pack into his mouth, flicking the dial of his lighter as he takes in a deep breath. He jams a finger down on the window button, the crisp winter air blowing the grey cloud around, the acrid scent of burnt tobacco filling the car. “Guess if we knew the answer to that, I wouldn’t be in the car now, huh?”

“Maybe you’d have gotten into a better university,” his mother sighs as she shakes her head.

A devious smirk curls up on the young man’s mouth as he brings the cigarette up to his lips again, taking a long drag. He knows better than to verbally respond with a cynical quip.

Maybe I’d be fuckin’ dead.

Alcoholics Anonymous sounded like a cult following: a twelve-step programme where all of its members had to follow a strict code, be mentored by a sponsor, and thank some bullshit deity to be given a new chance every day. “Every day is a new chance,” the cult leader would say at the beginning of every meeting. “May God grant us the serenity…”

“I’m Jisung, and the courts told me I’m an alcoholic, so I guess I’m an alcoholic,” the artificial blonde shrugged his shoulders, the ghost of burnt coffee still dancing on his tongue as he spoke.

The mindless cult drones spouted off a casual “hi, Jisung,” in monotonous, unenthusiastic unity as the young man sat down.

“How did you get here?” The meeting’s leader was relentless in prodding the young man. “You’re not obligated to tell us, of course,” which was a boldfaced lie, “but acknowledging your problems might help your recovery.”

Jisung brought the styrofoam cup full of lukewarm, acrid coffee to his lips and took a long sip. He winced at the taste and pursed his lips as he made eye contact with the leader. “I was abducted by aliens, man, now I’m here. Shit was crazy.”

The leader frowned, ready to interrupt Jisung.

“Nah,” the young man kicked his feet out from under the metal fold-up chair, flipping his hood over his head with his free hand. “I got drunk, went out to get more booze, then hit a tree on the way back and the cops pulled me over since my headlight was out. The internet wasn’t lying when they said all cops are fuckin’ bastards.” His quip earned a laugh from a few younger members, whereas several of the older people shook their heads in frustration.

“Please,” the leader sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “let’s refrain from political commentary. Thank you for your,” there’s a pause as the leader clears his throat, “for your candor, Jisung. Now that we’ve introduced all of our new attendees, why don’t we move along with the next step in the meeting?”

The meeting was pointless, all of the same shit that Jisung had read about in the fliers that were handed to him with his sentencing. He had to endure twelve months of this, but it wasn’t like he was doing much else with his life, anyways. Jisung poured the last of the disgusting coffee from the cardboard takeaway box into his cup, then tossed the box into the large rubbish bin at the end of the table. One last cup of free shitty coffee before he left; it would pair nicely with the cigarette he so desperately craved.

“Hey!” A bright voice came up behind him and Jisung rolled his eyes at the way optimism dripped from the trill. He slowly turned around, taking a sip of the cold coffee in his cup. A young man with neon pink hair, probably the same age as Jisung, smiled widely as he stuck his hand out. “I’m Felix, nice to see someone here that’s about my age.”

Jisung gingerly accepted the hand and shook it twice before quickly sticking his hand back into his pocket. “Charmed. How long are you stuck here for?”

“Oh!” Felix shook his head, smile still wide on his face as he pensively looked down to his shoes. “I’m not here for… well, I’m a psychology major.”

Of course he was.

Felix tucked his hands into his jacket pockets and tapped his foot twice as he continued to smile at Jisung. “I’m also new here and was hoping I could make friends.”

Jisung shook his head, reaching into his hoodie pocket for his pack of cigarettes and familiar silver lighter. “I’m not a good influence. Don’t think I’d make good friends with someone so… nice.” He meandered a white cigarette out of the packet with a single hand, then tucked it behind his ear, lighter still tucked into his palm. “No offence, dude.”

The smile finally fell from the pink-haired man, who quickly pulled his hands from his pockets, “wait, wait!”

Jisung cocked an eyebrow at the man, biting his tongue as he felt the clawing at the back of his head, his synapses screaming a plea for him to get a hit of more nicotine.

“I don’t wanna sound desperate,” Felix ran his bottom lip under his teeth as he looked around nervously, “I just really wanna talk with someone that’s so different than me. I’ll even buy you dinner or something from the diner down the street.”

As insulting as the words ‘so different than me’ came off to Jisung, desperation was a bad look for anyone. “You got a car?” Felix nodded twice, biting his lip as he stared at Jisung. “Lead the way, psycho student Felix.”

Felix’s eyes went wide and his bright smile came back, beaming brighter than before. “It’s psychology, not psycho.”

The blonde rolled his eyes as he plucked the cigarette from behind his ear and tucked it in between his teeth. “I know what I said.”

The food at the diner was mediocre at best: rubbery scrambled eggs and burgers made from frozen patties that were likely a concoction of rejected organ meat slurry and textured vegetable protein. It was cheap, but it was always good. Rich in comfort, lacking in quality: the antithesis to Jisung’s life.

Jisung hadn’t been here in two years, not since his friend turned on-again, off-again boyfriend Changbin left for university, halfway across the country. This was the place they’d come to at three in the morning after hitting up a house party, where they would drunkenly curl up with each other and swap kisses that tasted like stale beer and watery coffee.

This was the place where Changbin broke up with Jisung for the final time, Changbin citing that they wouldn’t be able to stay in contact much anymore. However, he hadn’t told Jisung that he was sleeping with someone that graduated a couple years prior and was conveniently attending the same university as him.

That night tasted like vodka and strawberry soda, the latter of which Jisung never let grace his tastebuds again.

The blonde scowled down at his orange juice, watching the ring light above their table shimmer and ripple in the liquid. He hadn’t heard from Changbin in two years, and he was as bitter about it as the black, burnt edges of the hashbrowns that stuck to his plate.

“You okay?” Felix poked his fries with a fork, bringing one to his lips as he scanned Jisung’s expression.

“Are any of us okay, psycho student?”

Felix furrowed his brows and set his fork down against his plate, chewing on the crinkled french fry a bit before he swallowed. He folded his hands together and rested his chin against the interlaced fingers. “No, like,” he shrugged, eyes shifting around a bit, “I mean it. You seem kinda distant.”

Jisung rolled his eyes up to meet Felix’s and he cocked his eyebrow. He was starting to regret tagging along with this kid he barely knew, feeling like this was less of a potential friendship and more like a therapy session. “You don’t know me, man.”

“No, but I know people.”

“You’re a sophomore psychology student, dude. You don’t know shit.”

The pink-haired man sighed, back thudding against the plasticky booth. “I guess you’re right about that. Doesn’t mean I don’t want to know, though.”

“Your funeral, then.” Jisung followed suit, leaning up against the booth with a bit more tact, swinging his arm around the wood frame. “I had my first sip of alcohol when I was thirteen. Got bored when my parents fucked off to Italy on some shitty trip without me.”

Felix tilted his head up like a dog, suddenly alive with renewed interest.

“They’re only parents in blood and title.” Jisung looked down at the table, scratching inanely at a chip in the pale green linoleum. “I was raised by nannies and tutors until I was fifteen. Most parents would probably panic when they leave the house, coming back to an empty liquor cabinet. My parents? Nah, they just restocked it and told me not to drink too much at once.”

“That’s,” Felix’s voice trailed off as he looked away, milling over the new information.

“It’s fucked,” Jisung finished the sentence, then brought the plastic cup of orange juice to his mouth and took a long sip. He set the cup back down and pulled up the sleeve covering his left arm, presenting the flesh over the table. Felix visibly recoiled as he eyed dozens of scarred lines littered across the skin, some marks still relatively fresh. “Their response to this? ‘We’ll get you into therapy and you won’t do this again.’ It was always the best money could buy, but their money didn’t do shit to my brain.” He shuffled the cloth over his arm again, ignoring the look of pity Felix offered him.

“If money could buy them a better son, they would’ve traded me out, like upgrading a car on a lease.”

Felix stumbled over his words a bit as Jisung rifled through his pockets, pulling out his phone and his wallet. “You still wanna make friends with someone like me?”

It took a moment, but Felix tentatively nodded his head. “Doesn’t sound like you have many friends to begin with,” he nervously sputtered out.

Jisung cocked his head to the side and licked his teeth as he smiled. “I don’t do friends. But life’s full of surprises. Anyway, gimme your phone so we can swap contact info.”

They exchanged phone numbers and Jisung dropped a couple of bills on the table. “Don’t worry about it,” he said as soon as Felix opened his mouth to protest, “you’re a university student and I’ve got my shitty parents’ cash to burn.”

“I’ll see you next week?” Felix questioned as Jisung stepped out of his shoddy 2003 Toyota Camry.

Jisung nodded once, tipping his index and middle fingers off of his forehead. “You got it. Thanks for the ride, mate.” He slammed the door with a fake smile that faded as soon as he turned around. Sure, Felix was the antithesis of everything Jisung was, but he could prove to be a source of entertainment over the next year.

Despite being cynical and vehemently anti-religion, Jisung always said a quiet prayer to himself as he opened the door, hoping his parents weren’t home when he arrived. Today, it seemed like luck was on his side: his mother’s keys weren’t on the key rack, and his father had yet to return from some bullshit ‘business trip’ off in China. Perhaps it was Morocco or Norway; they all blurred together in a haze of indifference. All Jisung was sure of was the fact that his father had probably taken one of his mistresses away to some foreign country he was pretending to secure a business deal in.

“Everyone’s favourite fuck-up is home!” Jisung shouted in the empty vestibule, his voice echoing against the cold walls. He didn’t expect a response, so when he was greeted with a comfortable silence, he smiled to himself. He kicked his shoes off and unceremoniously tossed them into the corner by the key rack.

His heavy, heel-first footsteps echoed as he made his way towards the kitchen, pulling a bottle of wine out of a glass display cooler as he padded towards the main refrigerator. He pulled out a box of takeaway Indian curry from the night prior, setting both the box and the bottle on the marble kitchen island, shuffling his feet towards a drawer. He retrieved a fork and a wine key, tossing them onto the countertop as he pulled out his phone, pack of cigarettes, and his lighter.

Jisung opened the bottle of wine as he sat down on a stool next to the counter, tossing the cork towards the rubbish bin, shrugging as he missed. That was a problem for later, and he didn’t feel like dealing with it now. Completely ignoring the takeaway carton, Jisung grabbed the wine bottle, then took a long guzzle directly from it. He winced a bit as the flavour of fermented floral grapes perfumed his mouth with a sharp, sickly rotten scent. The bottle clattered loudly against the marble, the echoing reminding Jisung of just how alone he was in such a large house.

“Fuck it,” he muttered, bringing his phone up in front of his face, scrolling through one of his playlists until he found the right song. With a few taps, some Drake came through the kitchen speakers. Jisung turned up the volume to near max, his head subconsciously moving to the beat of “In My Feelings”. He took a cigarette from the pack on the table and lit it, the tip turning from paper and plant to a red, ashy ember as he inhaled.

Was he allowed to smoke in the house? Of course not.

Did Jisung give a shit? Absolutely not.

A text message popped up as Jisung aimlessly scrolled through his various notifications. He opened it, barely scanning through the entire message from his mother until his eyes stopped on a blue phone number. His eyes narrowed, poring over the entire message. “A coworker of mine offered to be a sponsor for you: Lee Minho. He’s a few years older than you, but he’s nice. Here’s his number, please reach out to him.”

Jisung sarcastically scoffed, locking his phone as he placed it back on the countertop, swapping it for the bottle of wine. He took a drag off of his cigarette, then took another long swig from the bottle. “We admit we’re powerless to alcohol,” he mutters the first step under his breath as he slams the bottle down on the counter.

“Maybe I don’t fucking care.”

Jisung woke up on the couch to the sound of heels clacking against the hardwood floor just before eight in the morning, his fingers jostling an empty bottle of scotch on the floor as he brought his hands to his face.

“Get cleaned up, please.” His mother’s voice was accompanied by bright spotlights suddenly shining directly on his face. “I’ve invited Minho over to meet with you.”

“I didn’t ask you to.” Jisung’s voice was low and gravelly, groaning as he sat upright. The world spun, his body carried by the false inertia his mind had created.

His mother trotted off to the kitchen, shouting over her shoulder. “I know you didn’t. I did it because I care about you, Sungie.”

The blonde rubbed his clammy hands against his face again, attempting to wipe the sleepiness from his eyes. He grabbed his phone off of the floor, then wobbled his way upright, the living room spinning around him in a familiar sense of uneasiness.

“You don’t give a shit about anyone but yourself,” he muttered under his breath.

Somehow, Jisung managed to make his way upstairs to his room, stripping an article of clothing off with each lazy step from his bedroom door towards his personal washroom. By the time he got to the glass enclosure of the shower, he was totally stripped bare. Jisung distantly stared at his reflection in the floor-to-ceiling mirror, a gaunt and ashy doppelganger staring back at him with a pained, empty look on his face.

Instead of stepping into the shower, Jisung approached the mirror, subconsciously bringing his hands to touch his flushed face. His cheekbones were more prominent now than they were earlier in the year, dark circles painted in broad strokes under his eyes. His gaze trailed down the scars he had inflicted on his arms and on his thighs, reminders of the failed attempts to take his own life that he was now forced to carry with him, wearing each line and mark as a badge of shame.

A warm tear rolled down his face as it contorted into an expression of terror and hurt, before he took his fist and crashed it into the mirror in front of him, a spiderweb of the impact left behind in the cracked glass as he pulled his bloodied knuckles away. Some glass shattered to the floor, some still wedged in the gaps between his fingers, and Jisung stared at the crack that split his reflection into several fragments.

How he was still alive was beyond him.

“Mrs. Han, please,” a lilted, unfamiliar laugh travelled up the staircase as Jisung slowly made his way down towards the first floor. He squinted at the noise that caused his head to throb, realizing that someone unknown speaking to his mother, likely the Minho she had mentioned earlier. With each step he took towards the drawing room, the voice got louder, each staccatoed laugh more pronounced.

“Jisung, come sit,” his mother said, replacing the genuine smile on her face with a fake, ‘Vaseline-on-the-teeth’ smile. She motioned towards the empty space on the couch, opposite from the young brunette that turned around.

Jisung met his eyes and it suddenly felt like his surroundings cracked and shattered around him, like the mirror upstairs. Rich brown eyes glistened behind the black and gold browline glasses that rested against the bridge of his nose. Rose-tinted lips curled upwards in a shy smile, revealing large, rabbit-like front teeth that rested softly against his bottom lip.

“Hi,” the stranger said with a gentle wave, “I’m Minho. Resident biochemist at the pharmaceutical company your mother works for.”

As Jisung made his way over to the open spot on the couch, he squinted, refusing to break eye contact with the strange invader. It felt like he was a wild animal on display, about to be poked and prodded by zookeeper staff or by scientists in some sort of underground, off-the-books laboratory. It would fit, after all, since the man was some sort of scientist.

“I’ll let you be,” Jisung’s mother says, rising to her feet. “Maybe you should tell Minho about your little misstep last night, hmm?”

Jisung rolled his tongue over his bottom lip and shook his head sarcastically. “Go enjoy your overfilled glass of wine at nine-fucking-thirty, ma. I’ll be here spilling my guts to a stranger that gives more of a shit about me than you.” Minho winced and his expression fell from cheerful to shocked.

The men stared at each other, Jisung’s gaze layered with arrogance, and Minho’s heavy with awkward discomfort. “So,” the younger man kicked his feet up onto the coffee table, pulling a pack of cigarettes and his trusted lighter from his sweatshirt pocket, hoping to wrap up the conversation as soon as possible. “I know you work with my mother, you’re an alcoholic, and your name’s Minho.” As quickly as Jisung could take in a breath, the cigarette between his teeth was lit, and he was glaring at the intruder through the grey haze that came between them. Their eyes met again, Jisung growing more and more wary by the second. “Why should I pick you as my sponsor, when I feel like you’re just gonna snitch to my mother?”

Minho’s jaw looked like it was clenched too tight, his bottom eyelids squinted upwards as he studied the younger man in front of him. They watched each other, eyeing each micromovement the other’s face made. About halfway through Jisung’s cigarette, Minho finally broke the uncomfortable eye contact, and took a deep breath. “I’m not asking for you to trust me, or to spill your life story,” he shifted, sitting upright, “but for you to see me as a mentor when things get hard and you want to dampen your feelings with alcohol. I’ve been there, Jisung.”

Indignation washed over the younger man’s face, quickly replaced by a familiar wave of arrogance. Jisung shook his head, ashing his cigarette directly onto the floor. “Doubt it,” he tutted, licking his teeth as he nodded his head, staring at the ring on Minho’s finger. He smirked to himself, then turned his head away and up towards the ceiling. “Looks like you’ve got someone that loves you. I don’t know what that feels like; never have, never will.”

The elder chewed on his bottom lip, clenching his fist as his eyes subconsciously scanned the ring on his finger. “Had.”

“What?” Jisung turned his head back towards Minho with a look of disgust on his face, ashes falling from his cigarette.

The brunette sighed, leaning further into the couch, nervously running his thumb over his balled up fingers. “He’s the reason I turned to drinking, to fill the void he left in my heart when he died.”

Shit.

For the first time in ages, Jisung felt a slight pang of regret twinge in his abdomen.

Minho swallowed hard, almost as if he were holding back his emotions. “We were married for five years, together since high school. You’d think I would’ve known the signs, but Chan was so good at hiding things, hiding his pain from everyone.”

The ember in Jisung’s cigarette died out as he found himself enraptured in Minho’s story.

Chan was Minho’s high school sweetheart. They started dating their sophomore year of high school, both attended the same university, and they got married when they were twenty. To Minho, Chan was everything. They supported each other, making the other man stronger and gave them a reason to go on.

Minho had no idea that Chan was severely depressed, holding his true feelings to his heart. Not long after Minho’s twenty-fifth birthday, Chan disappeared, only leaving a journal behind. It had started off with an apology, that if Minho found his journal, that it was too late to save him and that Chan had simply given up. On nearly every page, Chan reiterated that it wasn’t Minho’s fault, that Chan was just too far gone beyond repair, that Minho had given him a new lease on life, but it wasn’t enough.

Exactly three weeks after Chan had gone missing, police were on the doorstep of their shared home.

“Dental records,” Minho whispered, his eyes distant and glazed over as he lost himself in the memory. “That’s how they knew it was Chan. I don’t remember much after that, but I thought that I could find the answer to why Chan took his own life at the bottom of a bottle.”

Jisung’s grip on the arm of the couch was so tight, his knuckles had turned white and they were starting to ache.

“Several bottles,” Minho continued, “several bottles and several near-death experiences waking up in the hospital later, and I still hadn’t figured out the answer. I figured that maybe I’d see him again if I drank enough. Now,” he folded his arms, tucking his chin into his chest, “I’ve accepted that I’ll never know the answer to that question, that I need to live on for him. If there’s an afterlife, maybe I’ll get to ask him myself. Until then, though,” Minho rolled his teary eyes up to meet Jisung’s uncomfortable gaze, “I just want to atone for not doing enough before. I want to help others that are hurting, you know?”

They continued to stare at each other for what felt like hours, until Jisung finally shook his head. His voice cracked as he tried to speak. “Sorry,” his apology was shockingly sincere, “I guess I spoke before I thought.”

Minho awkwardly smirked, dismissively waving his hand in between them. “Don’t worry about it. I just wanted you to know that I’ve been at rock bottom and that there’s a way up and out, as long as you’re willing to put in the effort.”

Maybe Jisung was willing to give Minho a try.

At first, Jisung agreed to meet with Minho once a week after the mandatory AA meeting he attended. It took seven visits spanning seven weeks before Jisung eventually opened up about the neglect he faced from both of his parents, the emptiness he felt from being raised by nannies, feeling like money was more important than his own life.

Ten weeks in, they started hanging out on the weekends. Their relationship shifted from mentorship to friendship, and it was somewhat a relief that Jisung finally had someone he could trust enough to call his friend.

Week fourteen was when things started to shift further. Jisung hadn’t consumed alcohol in eight weeks, and things were clearing up, slowly but surely. He had been meeting with Felix more and more, too — maybe they weren’t quite friends yet, but Jisung was at least trying.

Things were looking up for the first time in Jisung’s life.

At week sixteen, Jisung stayed over at Minho’s apartment, convincing him that he needed to watch Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood. The blonde had vehemently pressed that it was, quite possibly, one of the best series of all time, animated or otherwise. After some gentle pressure, Minho finally caved, and they sat on his couch, diving into the show and into some mediocre takeaways.

They had gotten through the first three episodes and Minho finally relented that, yes, it was a good show and that, yes, Jisung was right.

“I knew you’d like it, dude,” Jisung snickered, playfully poking at Minho’s chest. The corner of his lips tugged upward into a crooked smile, and he wore Minho’s seal of approval as some sort of badge of honour.

The brunette turned away, softly smiling into his shoulder as a rush of crimson started to tint his face. “You’ve got me trying all sorts of new things, Ji,” Minho rubbed the back of his neck for a moment before he flashed his teeth at the younger man. “So much for me being the mentor here, huh?”

Jisung sucked his bottom lip in between his teeth at the nickname, trying to ignore the warmth blossoming up his face. He tried to stumble out some sort of response, but he caught himself getting lost in the way that the overhead lights shimmered in Minho’s eyes, highlighting the soft amber and warm bursts of hazelnut that erupted around his pupils. His expression started to falter, and he felt a familiar rush of excitement bloom in his chest, causing his nerves to come to life all around his body.

He remembered that this was how it felt right before he shared his first drunken kiss with Changbin, but something about this felt different. Perhaps it was the fact that Jisung was completely sober, but he desperately wanted Minho to kiss him, to want him back. However, Jisung wasn’t sure if it would have been a good idea, pondering over if Minho was really ready to start a new relationship, especially with someone he was supposed to be mentoring.

“Something on your mind?” Minho’s voice was soft as it gently guided Jisung back to the moment. “You’re kinda spacing out on me.”

“No, no,” Jisung stumbled around the words he wasn’t sure he could say, suddenly distracted by the television in the background. “I guess I was just thinking about the show.”

Minho’s head tilted to the side, concurrently lifting his brow in confusion. “You guess?”

Jisung waved his hand in between them and readjusted his posture so he was further away from Minho. “Yeah, I mean, I’ve seen it so many times, but it’s one of those shows that you watch and you see something new each time and—”

Warm fingers were suddenly on the side of Jisung’s face, pulling him back into Minho’s space. “You’re a terrible liar.” The voice was soft, yet assertive; low, but so loud. Jisung’s eyes went wide as Minho’s apartment blurred around him, his vision suddenly taken over by the sight of the brunette’s face right up next to his. In front of him.

Before Jisung could process what was happening, he was subconsciously pressing his lips into Minho’s, trying to remember exactly how kissing worked. It was years since the last time he had any practice, but it all came back to him as Minho helped guide Jisung’s face with his hands.

Minho’s tongue was soft, warm, and damp as it gently pressed up against Jisung’s lips, wordlessly pleading for entrance. Without letting his mind mill over the fine details and concerns he possibly had, Jisung parted his lips. Timidly, he rolled his tongue around Minho’s, his hands quivering as his fingers scrambled for purchase in Minho’s hair.

Unlike anyone Jisung had kissed before, this felt right, even if there were some uncomfortable grinding of teeth and awkward nose bumping. Within a reasonable amount of time, they slowly became experts at training the way the other wanted to be kissed. As if Minho could read Jisung’s mind, he would interrupt his soft kisses with gentle nips and grazes at Jisung’s bottom lip.

“Please,” Jisung’s voice cracked as Minho pulled his teeth down his bottom lip, “my neck, I…”

Minho swiftly moved his lips from Jisung’s, peppering tiny pecks against his jawline to his ear, stopping to take the blonde’s earlobe into his mouth with his tongue, grazing the tender flesh between his teeth. Jisung’s back involuntarily arched as the grooves of Minho’s teeth pulled at his sensitive skin, the sensation causing his nerves to come to life with an electrical jolt from head to toe.

The brunette chuckled, his warm breath brushing up against the tiny hairs on Jisung’s ear. He said nothing, simply moving down to press a few soft kisses to the skin just below the younger man’s earlobe. Minho’s lips were soft, gentle, only to be quickly replaced by a sudden, harsh bite into the tender flesh.

A yelp, accompanied by uncontrollable twitching, came from Jisung, who was simultaneously melting into Minho, but also pulling away. The elder’s fingers dug into the blonde’s waist, keeping him in the same position, not allowing him to escape. Jisung’s yelp had faded into a whimper, which evolved into a moan as Minho sucked the flesh between his teeth, quickly repeating the process several times in various spots along Jisung’s neck.

The moans were increasing in volume and breathiness, Jisung subconsciously, frantically rutting his pelvis into the couch. Minho must have caught on to this, letting go of Jisung’s waist to ease him down onto the couch. He pressed his lips to Jisung’s again, dancing his fingertips down to the waistband of the younger man, who was completely blissed out.

“Can I help you with this?” Minho’s voice was somehow both soft yet assertive as his palm pressed against Jisung's clothed erection.

Words eluded Jisung, verbal language suddenly turning into complex algebraic equations that didn’t translate from his head to his tongue. Instead, he groaned in affirmation as he hopelessly rolled his hips upward, finding himself pitiful that he was so desperately craving for Minho to just keep fucking touching him.

Things started to blur in a haze of wanton desire. Minho’s hand gently stroked Jisung’s cock, paying special attention to the way that his fingers and palm brushed against the head. Involuntary twitches took over Jisung as he whimpered and mewled, his shoulder blades grinding into the couch. Minho continued to nibble and bite at Jisung’s neck, occasionally whispering words of assurance and praise into his ear.

“You’re doing so well,” as he slowly dragged his hand from the base of Jisung’s cock up to his head.

“I can’t imagine how incredible you would feel around me,” as he gently thumbed the slit, rubbing precum around the sensitive head and causing Jisung to bite the back of his hand as he failed to stifle a cracked moan.

Jisung’s breaths turned erratic and he was nearly convulsing as his body started to twitch. Minho shifted his weight to his knees, slowing his strokes just enough so that he could awkwardly shift one leg off of the couch to position his head in a way he could take Jisung into his mouth.

“What are you��” Jisung started to question, until he found himself losing control of his body as Minho rolled his tongue around his cock. “Fuck, Minho!” He clamped his eyes shut, arching his back upward, hitting the back of Minho’s throat as he convulsed, his orgasm suddenly completely taking over him. “Minho,” he whined and unclenched his fists; “Minho,” he panted and opened his eyes; “Minho.” With one last breath, he was back to reality.

This had to have been the closest thing to heaven that Jisung thought he would ever experience.

Jisung had stayed over at Minho’s that night, too tired to function like a normal human. They slept on the couch together, necks crooned in uncomfortable positions all night long, bodies stiff from the unnatural firmness that Minho’s couch held. The next morning, they chose not to discuss the night prior, but they did exchange some soft kisses, until Jisung protested, mentioning that their morning breath was distracting him from actually enjoying the kiss.

Their weekends continued on like this: spending time watching a couple of episodes of their chosen programme until they got distracted and lost within each other. Nothing progressed further than handjobs, the occasional blowjob, and the one time that they rolled around naked, making out for so long and so intensely that the way they pressed their bodies together caused Jisung to come without any additional stimulation — and, hey, they liked it.

The budding relationship between them was confusing. During the week, Minho acted like the appropriate, wise mentor, with Jisung as his eager pupil. When the weekend came around, however, all bets were off. In everything but title, they were boyfriends for all intents and purposes. Every time Jisung tried to bring it up, Minho would shut down, saying that he wasn’t ready to really think seriously about it yet.

So, Jisung didn’t press. He was sure that their intimate interactions were causing conflicting emotions to arise within Minho, emotions he probably had been ignoring since Chan’s death, trying to shove them down as time went on. Even though he wanted to navigate the full spectrum of sexual experiences with Minho, Jisung remained silent until Minho was ready.

#why can't we drink forever? #skz fics #skz smut #minsung #lee minho x han jisung #han jisung x lee minho #minho x jisung #jisung x minho #wherevermyway

[astonishinglegends]

Ep 209: The Phantom Horse of Greensboro

And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.

– Revelation, Chapter 6, Verse 8, King James Version

Description:

Many of us have taken an adventurous expedition to check out some local, notorious spot to see if we could witness or sense some evidence of a past famous or infamous incident.  Most of the time, one only returns with a minor anecdote or pictures of an ordinary location bereft of anything noteworthy.  The more realistic purpose is not so much to find a ghoulish memento but to imagine what it must've been like to have been there when it happened.  But what if such an outing starts with strange coincidences and ends with the adventurers enduring a paranormal event seemingly unrelated to the original incident?  This is the sort of tale we'll hear from our good friend, graphic designer, and illustrator Tommy Beaver about the time some friends went to check out the scene of a horrific crime that happened in Summerfield, North Carolina, almost 13 miles northwest of Greensboro.  On June 3, 1985, the incident in question occurred when at the end of a murder spree and police pursuit, Fritz Klenner and his first cousin, lover, and accomplice, Susie Newsome Lynch, ended their standoff detonating a bomb in their Chevrolet Blazer.  Klenner and Lynch had blown themselves up along with Lynch's already deceased two sons who were in the vehicle rather than face arrest.  The site of this shocking finale was what the friends were hoping to explore, but their souvenir was an unsettling experience they'll never forget.  Strangely, a mysterious white horse suddenly appeared to encounter the group, except that this creature may not have been a horse at all.  Many people have claimed to see a spectral white horse, and the ancient Britons believed a sacred white horse was one's ride to the afterlife.  Yet these friends may forever wonder, as will we, what was the connection of this beast to the tragedy if there is one?  And if this wasn't a horse as we know it, what sort of monster haunts the location of one of North Carolina's most ghastly crimes?

Location:

The intersection of Strader Road & North Carolina State Road 150 in Summerfield, near where Fritz Klenner and Susie Newsom Lynch blew themselves up in their Chevy Blazer after a crime spree and police pursuit on June 3, 1985, and where Tommy’s friends saw the mysterious “horse.”

Location Video:

Reference Links:

Illustrator and Graphic Designer Tommy Beaver’s website, tommybeaverdesign.com

“Summerfield slaughter 30 years ago ended in deaths of couple, two sons” from the Greensboro News & Record

Bitter Blood: A True Story of Southern Family Pride, Madness, and Multiple Murder, a novel by Jerry Bledsoe, 1988

The púca, pooka, phouka of Irish/Celtic folklore

The kelpie of Scottish folklore

“Horses in Celtic Mythology” from Transceltic.com

“Have ghost HORSES been captured on video? Teenagers believe they spotted ethereal equine scene at one of Britain's most haunted sites” from DailyMail.co.uk

“Phantom Horses” on real-british-ghosts.com

Related Books:

Please help out our good friend Stan Gordon, by purchasing his books on Amazon and Barnes & Noble – you’re gonna love ‘em!

At Barnes & Noble:

Silent Invasion: The Pennsylvania UFO-Bigfoot Casebook

Astonishing Encounters: Pennsylvania’s Unknown Creatures, Casebook 3

Really Mysterious Pennsylvania: UFOs, Bigfoot, and Other Weird Encounters, Casebook 1

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Credits:

Episode 209: The Phantom Horse of Greensboro. Produced by Scott Philbrook & Forrest Burgess; Audio Editing by Sarah Vorhees Wendel. Sound Design by Ryan McCullough; Tess Pfeifle, Producer, and Lead Researcher; Research Support from the astonishing League of Astonishing Researchers, a.k.a. The Astonishing Research Corps, or "A.R.C." for short. Copyright 2021 Astonishing Legends Productions, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

#Fritz Klenner #Susie Newsom Lynch #murder #bomb #explosion #1985 #June #Summerfield #NC 150 #Strader #Greensboro #North Carolina #NC #Tommy Beaver #ghost #horse #white #cryptid #haunting #haunted #True Crime