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#pretty pretty pain cave
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Waynes World - Pain Cave - Music Video from MTV - 1993
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aria0fgold · 18 days
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Mermaid Alec while it's still Mermay!
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I would argue that to my recollection Murderbot in fact does not do a single on-page murder until Network Effect.  “These people are actively trying to kill me so I have to kill them back to protect myself/my clients/my friends” doesn’t count as “murder.”  Only in NE does it join its noble predecessors GLaDOS, Hera, and Breq in Actual Revenge Murder
#one of the things that makes me emotional about Murderbot is how consistently and explicitly non-revengey it is#Revenge does not drive it.  It is not out for revenge#mostly it just wants to live its life and be left alone and for the people who hurt and abused it to not be able to hurt it anymore#and once it gets free it doesn't ever seek out anyone who hurt it - individually or structurally - for revenge#It just wants to live its life. As it says to Gurathin: revenge is a stupid human way to think about it#(paraphrased)#It just... I don't know how to articulate it which is why this is in the tags and not a real meta post but. It doesn't want revenge!#It just wants to be free and safe and for the people it cares about to be safe and for the company to not be anywhere near it anymore#as distinctly opposed to Hera who tried to kill Hilbert after his betrayal at her first opportunity#It was partially preemptive defense - don't know what else he can do - but Minkowski considered him pretty neutralized as a threat#Hera wanted him dead.  Hera wanted to kill him for what he did to her#(and she is VALID I love her)#Like. It is sort of implied that Hera didn't fully understand death at the time? She died and then came back broken and in pain#She wanted to do the same to Hilbert#She's noticeably less enthusiastic about killing after Maxwell and Hilbert's actual deaths#GLaDOS meanwhile was Caroline who got brain-uploaded to a computer as she begged Cave Johnson to stop#and so the moment she got control of the facility she killed everyone in the whole company who let that happen to her#this is why she's valid#Breq is the greatest and I love her#that was an existing tag. Amazing#Breq is setting off to kill the space emperor less from a stance of political responsibility or principles but more because Anaander ordered#her favorite human's death#which is funny because it's for Awn but it's also kind of framed as a pain against /her/ too#(by funny I mean sad)#Whereas when Murderbot really and finally leans into Revenge Murder.  It's for ART.  What people do against itself isn't really worth resent#But these people killed ART#and that's what really sparks a murder rampage#it's interesting characterization for everybody really#The Murderbot Diaries
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kordbot · 8 months
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officially started lanks' route today ! good lird lanks is now everything to me
#not that the other two aren't. all three are everything to me#lanks just kind of. hits close to home HFGSDHJFLS#i love him so much ok. also DAMN he is NOT fucking around all the battles take. so short jesus christ#go whiteboy go i guess? but SPARE ME. FUCK#honestly good for him he SO deserves it. he so deserves to go completely feral#liam can have a little bit of killing and violence. as a treat <3#also apparently i didnt get the camo shawl which im guessing was in the cave segment before the sportsdome that i accidentally skipped. fuc#WELL i can do without it. maybe. hopefully. child's blanket shouuuld be good enough maybe#tbh i think i had more fun during cyclops' route?? idk i just love playing tanks ig#lanks is great but he's not fully my style of gameplay. cyclops' fighting style is a lot more satisfying to me#but i gotta admit that taking out grunts in 1 turn is incredible#but still.#wow i cant believe i missed lanks so much in cyclops' route and now i miss cyclops in lanks' route..#I GOT USED TO FIGHTING WITHOUT LANKS OK#NOW I NEED TO GET USED TO FIGHTING WITHOUT CYCLOPS#this is gonna be haaard but im very close to the endgame now. just crashed the caravan so its gonna be like. 1 or 2 h until the ending or s#overall ! lanks' route is fun and i guess it IS easier but its less satisfying and takes. so much shorter. tbh HGFSDHJFLS#then im gonna do beltboy's !!! and then. im gonna try doing rod's route in pain mode </3#im gonna die so much but i think i got pretty good at this game. so
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kwonhochi · 2 years
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6 and 98 !
6 !!
98 !!
ask game :]
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My cat is so mad every day I’m on my laptop because he can’t sit in my lap and can’t sit on the computer but my legs are right there and I have a footstool right next to my arm and a shelf for him above the couch but nooo, how dare I have anything else in my lap
#emma posts#I don’t want to get one of those beside the couch laptop desks because it would only be useful for my laptop and cost more than my lap desk#but he’s pushing it#if I start to cave in about my laptop though he won’t take anything else seriously#fuck my sketchbooks tablet and regular books#only HE#he already does this but is worse without the lap desk#and even more mad when i have to use my regular desk#I should probably get a better office chair#I keep falling out of that one and getting back pain#it was 30$ and has pretty much no support#but I still need to buy a kitchen table#my grandparents really want to buy me something for my apartment but I’ve already gotten most of what I’ve needed and have been using#a folding table without issue for over a year#i just keep forgetting I’m using a folding table and chair until someone points it out#like ‘oh yeah. this was something I was borrowing from family that had it for events#but they haven’t had any events that needed it#but I bought my desk and living room furniture and a lot of shelves and kitchen stuff over the last few years#and sometimes family would be getting rid of something old and be like ‘you want a shitty old mattress? it still works but it’s like twice#your age’ and I was like ‘hell yeah free bed’#the town i moved to has a big ass thrift store too. and I have a big family#I know I’m lucky that way#though it would be nicer if people stopped dieing all the time#three downsides to a big family: hard to keep track of new people. some of your relatives will be crazy in a bad way. and people just keep#dying all the time. people are also born all the time. but seeing your family for funerals and being squished together in a church to#try and awkwardly process that the aunt you saw once a year lately just died#feels really weird and overwhelming#at least when grandma died I was a traumatized wreck. everyone seems to know how that works#not that I was happy with that or anything. it’s just weird when you feel distant during the ceremony
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biboomerangboi · 3 months
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Hua Cheng essentially cockblocking himself for possibly all of eternity will literally never not be the funniest thing MXTX ever wrote.
Xie Lian was pretty much completely in love with him the second he saw those lanterns (and completely oblivious about it) and then we get the wonderful first kiss underwater moment and Xie Lian is basically drawing hearts around Hua Cheng every time he sees him. While like quietly dying cause he literally has no idea what to do with it. Like at this point he doesn’t even really understand that he is head over heels totally gone for this man.
Until Hua Cheng is like I have a beloved I just haven’t won them over yet. Which he thinks is perfectly reasonable because his self esteem is the worst and he doesn’t understand how he could have won Xie Lian over yet. (He’s only on step 22 of his Marrying Dianxia 3000 step Master Plan ((that he debates throwing out on a regular basis because he doesn’t deserve to even dream about wanting Xie Lian)). So course he’s like yeah I have this wonderful noble beautiful beloved I just haven’t won them over yet wink wink nudge nudge.
But Xie Lian is like oh of course obviously I don’t deserve nice things and fuck I actually wanted him so badly I’m actually in love with him and now I will resign myself to never being happy for his sake. (Their combined self esteem is truly a so low it’s a hole in the ground which is hilarious because they think the other person is to good for them and unattainable forever because they literally have the same neurosis.) So he starts boxing up his feelings forever constantly wanting Hua Cheng and feeling guilty about it and literally dying inside because he wants Hua Cheng like he’s never wanted anyone.
Like essentially books 3 and 5 only happen because Hua Cheng has now cursed them both by saying he has a beloved because Xie Lian believes he isn’t wanted and therefore any nice thing Hua Cheng does is just him being nice and not Hua Cheng pulling out steps 23-34 of his plan thinking he still hasn’t won Xie Lian over. (He has he so has but he shot himself in the foot so badly it’s painful to read).
Like thank the Gods Hua Cheng is so unhinged and created the cave of 10000 Gods cause Xie Lian would literally be at his own wedding to Hua Cheng still convinced he wanted someone else and this was in fact a thing they were doing to solve a case together otherwise.
Like he needed something that unhinged to put 2 and 2 together otherwise he never would have caught on he’s Hua Cheng’s beloved. Meanwhile Hua cheng is like 🥺 he’s going to think I’m a weirdo now and I’m only on step 50 of the plan 🥺 like the two of them wouldn’t have been fucking nasty 2 books ago if he just kept his mouth shut and didn’t cockblock himself so violently.
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nerdpoe · 4 months
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Dick gets his drink mixed up with another persons in the library while visiting Barbara.
He was drinking some kale smoothie thing, for health and stuff, and he set it down to grab a book from the shelf. There was another guy next to him, who also had a smoothie in the same kind of shake-n-go bottle.
They swapped by accident.
Dick checked out his book, said goodbye to Barbara, and took a sip of his smoothie.
That's the last thing he remembers.
He wakes up two days later pinned down by a practically feral Jason, who's eyes are glowing a sickly Lazarus green, with Bruce, Tim, Cass, and Duke all showing signs of losing a fight. He's sore everywhere, and Damian is nowhere to be seen.
"Uh...." his voice cracks, and he's suddenly aware of how fucking painful his throat is. "Hi? What's going on?"
"...Is it really you, Dickwing? I swear to God if it isn't and this is another-"
"Jay I really don't know what's going on, man."
Jason doesn't believe him. Dick is cuffed with anti-meta cuffs and escorted to the cave, where Bruce demands test after test and Dick tells them the last thing he remembers.
Apparently, after taking that sip, his eyes had turned to Lazarus green, and he had beelined for the mansion. Along the way there, he had run into the Riddler.
He had broken most of the Riddler's bones.
That was when everyone had been called in to subdue Dick, who for some strange reason kept gunning for Damian. Hence, Damian was upstairs and not allowed down until they were sure Dick was okay again.
It's concluded that Dick drank some alternate form of Lazarus Water, lost his mind, proceeded to take everyone out with enhanced strength and speed except Jason, who had entered a Pit episode just to keep up, and worked through it two days after consumption.
But who the fuck transported a material as dangerous as modified Lazarus Water in a fucking shake-n-go bottle?
Danny, however, is a little sad that his ecto-shake was stolen by some rando at the library.
Their kale smoothie was pretty good though.
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donatellawritings · 2 months
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Would you ever do a part 2 to sweetheart reader and rafe’s breakup? I wanna see how they get back together 🥰
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it had been about three months, since rafe had let you go, his oh-so doting sweetheart, the apple of his very eye. with the news of rafe cameron no longer having his latin sweetheart under his arm spreading around the island like a rancid wildfire, it didn’t take long for rafe to find himself regretting his decision. but make no mistake, rafe had made it his business to keep a watchful eye on your every move, and making sure to remain undetected while doing so. i mean, at the end of the day, you would always be his sweet girl and what kind of a man would he be, if he didn’t watch over you.
and sure, it took you a few weeks to find your footing as a now single and absolute knockout of a woman, yet you stood your ground — remaining tooth-achingly sweet to everyone who came your way, even when you’d politely reject their shameless advances towards you. and boy, did you make rafe’s sick little heart swell with pride as you made sure to keep a piece of him around you at all times, your gifted tiffany & co tennis bracelet constantly glinting against the north carolina sun with each passing day.
but, you were always such an emotional and overly-sensitive doll — and today just happened to be one of those days where you couldn’t seem to get your papi, rafe out of your pretty little head.
“i just — i want him with me!” you sobbed, streaky and watery black tinged tears rolling down your blush and concealer-enhanced cheeks as you pursed your puffy lips into a tearful pout, “he’s supposed to be mine!” you whined, your swollen tits stretching and heaving against rafe’s prized collegiate t-shirt as you took hiccuping breaths.
you poor cousin, kiara could only take so much of your incessant sobs and heartfelt rambles, until she’d taken the liberty of personally contacting rafe, a task that she wouldn’t even dream of doing, if it were for any person, aside from you, her doting and oh-so lovesick cousin.
you see, today was supposed to be a simple sleepover, the two of you had made it a tradition to spend one night together, where you could catch up on the latest gossip, prance around in nothing but pathetically poor excuses for panties and oversized t-shirts, while pampering each other with messily applied clay face masks and smeared mani-pedis. and sure, kiara missed those cherished moments with you, but she was painfully aware that you had been keeping up a facade since the moment rafe brought you back home. and she had to give you credit for it, you made it a point to keep your cool in public, you didn’t want to be a bother so you maintained your doll-like appearance and poise mannerisms.
yet, she couldn’t ignore the way you cried yourself to sleep at night — the walls that separated your bedrooms were far too thin.
it didn’t take long for rafe to respond to your concerned cousin — and it was crystal clear to him that it was time to bring you back home. the anxious young man had paid his dues, hell, the pain of not having you around was nearly enough to have him cave after the first twenty-four hours of him breaking things off. but, he had to make good on his promise — he had to become a man, not only for you, but for the sake of his own sanity, or what was left of it.
after about fifteen minutes of you struggling to put together a coherent sentence, you rubbed the tip of your button nose, with a defeated sniffle, licking over you dried lips as you wiped your watery bambi eyes with the back of your hand. you had cried yourself to exhaustion, your pretty little head throbbing from your hysterics as you dozed into a light sleep. you were so out of it, you didn’t even realize that kiara had left your bedroom.
rafe was careful with his footsteps as he entered your bedroom, dressed in a crisp button-up and ironed slacks as he sighed at the sight of you sound asleep. his bright blues didn’t miss the streaks of dried tears that clung to your cherub cheeks, your swollen lips slightly parted as crouched at your bedside, a soft smile on his pink lips as he ran a gentle hand over your messy hair.
letting his greed get the best of him, rafe pressed his eager lips to the apple of your cheek, his fingernails lightly scratching at your scalp as he soothingly lulled you out of your sleep, “hi, baby,” he mumbled, loud enough for your doe eyes to widen as your lips pursed into a wobbly pout, warm tears burning at your waterline.
bringing your small hand to knuckle away the troublesome tears that threatened to spill, you let out a needy whimper, “m-missed you,” you mewled, wispy lashes now clumpy with tears.
“hey-hey, c’mon mama, please don’t start cryin’,” rafe breathes out, pulling your hands away from your flushed face as the two of you finally lock eyes for the first time in months, “fuck — m’so sorry, my princess,” rafe sighs, each and every ounce of his resolve dissipating as he brings your knuckles to his lips, peppering soft kisses to the bony skin.
biting down into the fat of your bottom lip, you leaned up towards rafe, nudging his nose with yours, “can we go home,” you mutter, allowing your palms to cradle both sides of rafe’s chiseled face as his hold on your fists drop to your wrists, “w-we can talk about everything later, i just- i just missed you, papi,” you assure rafe, a soft smile tugging on your lips as he raises his glazed eyes to meet yours.
“yes, baby, we can go home,” rafe’s shoulders soften, his forehead leaning flushed against yours as he lets out a shaky breath, “i kept my promise, baby — i kept my promise,” he speaks, more so to himself than to you as you nod at his words.
rafe deserved to be heard, and you’d always be a listening ear for him.
“i stopped using, a-and i got that boat y’liked so much, i got it just for you, mama — gonna take you wherever y’wanna go,” rafe rambles, leaving you a smiley mess as you simply gaze into his eyes with nothing, but naive love and adoration, “m’gonna be home more, and i—” rafe continued, getting lost in his own thoughts.
“i love you,” you cut in, a giddy smile now playing on your pretty face as rafe can’t help but blush at your words.
“i love you too, let’s go home,” rafe brings his lips to your forehead, allowing his tired eyes to flutter close as he soaks in the kiss for a moment, taking the time to breathe in your smell.
bringing your legs to hook around his waist, rafe keeps a secure hand over your ass as he carries you out of your bedroom, making sure to send kiara an appreciative nod as the two of you exit the home. it didn’t take long for you to fall back asleep, once you were secure in the passenger seat of rafe’s truck, soft snores leaving your parted lips as your soft cheek remained mushed against rafe’s firm shoulder, your hand securely interlaced with his.
rafe couldn’t ignore the way his eyes kept flickering down to your empty ring finger, his heart swelling at the mere thought of him finally having you all to himself, forever.
and he wouldn’t fuck it up, this time.
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klausinamarink · 3 months
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based on this hilarious video with Gianmarco Soresi whom I’ve been watching his comedy work for a few months now
read on ao3
“What do you do?” The standup of the hour - the guy had introduced himself as Eddie - points at Steve.
Flustered at the attention directing every eye in the club to his table, Steve tries not to stammer as he answers, “Well, uh, I make movies.”
“Oh!” Eddie genuinely looks interested. “So you’re a director?”
“Yeah, pretty much. At least I started out as an indie, but I have a big project that’s out and a couple more on the way.” One table nearby claps and Steve tries to wave them off to stop.
“So what was that big project? Was it something we would’ve seen?” Eddie repositions himself so he has one leg up on the stool. Steve stares at how lean they seem with the tight black jeans. He’s got them daddy long legs. His brain suddenly burps out and it nearly makes Steve lose his composure.
“Uh, ha, I did The Final Bat. It’s on Shudder.” Steve shrugs nonchalantly, perfectly hiding his internal cringe. The horror genre is way out of his league and Steve’s already seen The Final Bat being on a few critical lists damning the title as another cliche-filled mess. He only did it because he had finally caved to Dustin’s pleading to make at least one horror movie.
Eddie, on the other hand, seems ecstatic by this revelation. “No way! That’s sick, dude! So the next time you make a horror flick, you’re gonna watch Blumhouse and A24 coming in at each other with steel chairs for distribution rights.”
Everyone laughs, including Robin. She smacks on Steve’s bicep with a wide grin. He smacks her back before he turns back to Eddie and clarifies, “I don’t like horror! I’m not doing it again!”
Aghast, Eddie throws an invisible hat to the ground and stamps on his feet. “Come on! Then what’s the point of watching the studios bite each other’s dicks off when you’re slipping out to watch - I don’t know - the Barbie movie! Now they’re just fighting for the next shitty horror movie to exist!”
Steve covers his mouth but fails to hold back in the laughter. Eddie’s infectious energy is starting to get to him. It makes his chest clench with something other than the usual pains.
Eddie patiently waits for the patrons to quiet down before continuing, still attentive to Steve, “I’m just wondering actually if you ever done theater class.”
“Sure did! Two years in high school,” Steve confirms.
“Let me guess, they did Hamlet?” Eddie raises an eyebrow like it’s meant to be accusatory.
“Yep, soon after I joined.” Steve nods, the memory of that production flashing before his eyes. It had its ups and downs but it was one of the most fun things Steve had ever experienced.
“No wonder they started as soon as your handsome ass walked in the club.” Eddie says low and flirtatiously into the microphone, staring directly into Steve’s eyes. It echoes across the room and back, bringing the howling laughter with it.
Heat crawls behind his face. Steve keeps his hands on the table, forcing down the urge to hide behind them. “I-” He stops to cough, “I wasn’t supposed to play Hamlet.”
Eddie’s eyes go wide, “What do you mean?!”
Robin answers loud enough for everyone to hear, “He was the grave robber, but the other guy who did Hamlet got into a coma a week before the show and Steve knew all the lines.”
“W-Woah, woah, woah!” Eddie holds his hands out, looking scandalous. He throws looks around the club. “Everyone, shut the fuck up right now! This is more important than caring about the rest of you!” Eddie drags the stool over and perches on it like a very much invested gargoyle, almost oblivious to the audience’s reaction.
“Okay, let me go through this.” He points at Steve, still holding eye contact as if Steve’s soul would provide the answer. “You weren’t Hamlet. You were meant to be the guy who gives him the skull to monologue. The OG Hamlet got into a coma for some reason-“
“Car accident.” Robin interjects.
“Yeah, no need to elaborate, ma’am. You, Steve-” Eddie breaks off for a second, holding back a laugh of his own. “You somehow knew all the Hamlet lines because you were waiting to skin OG Hamlet’s head and make his skull yours to do the monologue.”
There’s a scandalous outcry from all tables. Even when they mostly calm down, Steve uses the growing anticipation to ‘think’ about what Eddie just said before he casually shrugs and says, “Sounds about right.”
Eddie drops his face into his arm, letting everyone laugh at him. Steve lets himself break, his laughter bubbling out of him in a way that doesn’t sound so self-deprecating or hollow. If he was in a cynical mood, he would’ve thought it was pathetic that the only person who made him laugh so lightly again was some random standup.
After a moment, Eddie finally looks up, his face broken in disbelieving grin. He chuckles into the mic and looks back at Steve, “Sorry, it’s just I hear some wild stories in the crowd some nights and I think yours takes the cake.”
Steve smiles, “Thanks, man.”
Eddie stands up back, half-leaning onto the stool. “Do you still remember those lines? To be or not to be?”
The whole damn thing. “Uh… some of it?”
Eddie’s grin shifts into something more mischievous. “Let’s see who knows more.”
A collective oooh goes around the room, including Robin. She already has her phone out for recording. Steve rolls his eyes at her and takes a quick sip of his water. He clears his throat and starts, “‘To be or not to be, that is the question.’”
“‘Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer, the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune..’” Eddie says without missing a beat.
Oh, he thinks he knows it all. The sense of competition that Steve thought had died out with his future of a sports career reignites in his chest. He sits up even straighter. “‘Or to take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them.’”
“‘To die-to sleep, no more.’” Eddie slowly walks over to the edge of the stage, “‘And by a sleep to say we end the heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to.’”
“'tis a consummation devoutly to be wish'd.’” Steve almost shivers as he recites the line, uncertain if it’s from the club’s cooling temperatures or the intense gaze from Eddie’s eyes. “‘To die, to sleep.’”
“‘To sleep, perchance to dream—ay, there's the rub,’” Eddie suggestively rubs a hand on his chest as he squats down. Steve’s eyes flicker to the hand, almost hypnotized by the motion. Nay, he shakes himself out of it. No distractions!
“‘For in that sleep of death what dreams may come, when we have shuffled off this mortal coil.’” It’s getting harder to remember the following lines. That hasn’t happened before. Steve has never forgotten the damn soliloquy in years, even when other people try to challenge him.
Eddie continues, “‘Must give us pause—there's the respect that makes calamity of so long life. For who would bear the whips and scorns of time, the oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely.’”
“‘The pangs-’” Steve feels his breath catching in his throat when he realizes, for the first time, what beautiful eyes Eddie has.
Oh. 
Eddie suddenly perks up in excitement. For a second, Steve thinks that Eddie has come to the exact same thoughts for him. But then he remembers that he hasn’t completed his line, so Steve feigns defeat.
“I win!” Eddie stands up with a triumphant cry. He spreads his arms out to embrace the cheering whoops and applause. “And I’ve only got to play Hamlet in-” He spins around and crouches down so he can look Steve in the eye again as Eddie’s voice booms into the mic, “-FOURTH GRADE, MOTHERFUCKER!” 
Steve’s not even mad. He just throws his head back, laughing and clapping along. 
Almost too soon, Eddie moves on to heckle on another table. But he keeps glancing over at Steve, his smile widening every time. And Steve smiles back, feeling a laugh slip out of his slips at every joke. He watches Eddie more closely, feeling his heart pound faster in his chest the more Eddie stays onstage. 
By the time Eddie has to depart and thank everyone for being here, Robin announces her need to go home and snuggle with her girlfriend. 
“Man, that was the most I’ve ever laughed in this place.” Steve stretches his back, groaning at the little pops. God, being in his early thirties can be a bitch sometimes.
Robin only hums, moving her eyebrows up and down suggestively. Steve pointedly makes no further comment as he pays the tab.
Outside, the crisp night air welcomes him. Steve takes in a whiff, staring up at the light-polluted sky as he bids Robin a goodbye. Then he hears his name being called. He turns around and sees Eddie hurrying out the doors.
Steve feels a smile already on his face, “Hey, Hamlet.” 
Eddie grins at him, teeth and all, “Hey, yourself.” 
They stare at each other but it lacks the competitive intensity earlier. Steve likes this. But he already has a feeling that this won’t be the first time either one of them would challenge the other.
“Sooo…” Steve says when the silence stretches a little too long. He gestures between himself and Eddie, “Wanna restart our introductions?”
Eddie’s eyes brighten, “Yeah! Right, sorry.” He clears his throat and thrusts a hand out. “My name is Eddie Munson. Self-proclaimed comedian and musician. You may recognize me as the guy who beat you in Hamlet’s famous speech.”
Steve takes his hand. Eddie feels bony and thin, but large enough to fit perfectly into Steve’s palm. He tries not to sound so eager as he says, “Steve Harrington. Film director who doesn’t like horror. Believe it or not, I actually know the whole stupid thing.”
Eddie tilts his head, narrowing his eyes, “Really? Like, no offense, but even if you remember that much-”
“‘And thus the native hue of resolution is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought, and enterprises of great pith and moment with this regard their currents turn awry and lose the name of action.’” Steve winks with the Harrington Charm, smile and all. 
Eddie stares at him for so long that Steve feels his heart racing for a different reason. And then, Eddie turns around and muffles a loud scream into his free hand. When the man turns back to face him, he’s sporting the widest smile Steve has never seen.
“You knew the whole thing!?” Eddie’s eyes sparkle with utter adoration.
“Yep.” Steve pops the ‘p’, grinning like a little shit.
“But why did you forget that line?”
“Let’s just say,” Steve squeezes Eddie’s hand, intertwining their fingers together, “I got distracted by the pangs of love.”
Eddie bites on his lower lip as he swoons his body over so they are pressing against each other. With half-lidded eyes, Eddie whispers, “You know that part is Hamlet referring to missing his dead dad, right?”
Of course Steve couldn’t help but kiss him.
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too-deviant · 3 months
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jackie and wilson.
previous | next series masterlist
summary: you haven’t been given a quest, but you have made it your personal mission to make luke castellan smile.
pairing: luke castellan x unclaimed!reader
word count: 4.1k
content: broody!luke, teenage dirtbag!luke but also not really, sprinkles of mean!luke, r is unbothered and does not gaf about his lil emo boy act, this is four thousand words of r being a pain in luke’s ass, probs will make a part 2 bc i love them your honour 
notes:  speaking my truth: i am a british gal. any banter in this about the new england states is entirely stuff i got from reddit so plz don’t scrutinise my american states knowledge
the layout of this fic is very much inspired by @murdrdocs if that wasn’t obvious but also icarus if u want me to change it i will jus say the word :00
PART I — she blows outta nowhere, roman candle of the wild 
All things considered, you took the news of your heritage pretty well. 
Sure, there was a lot of yelling — mostly through the wall after you locked yourself in your room and started packing a bag — but at least you didn’t sit on it in denial for several hours. 
Honestly, you should’ve seen it coming. 
The first time you realised you could see things nobody else could, you tried to admit yourself into a ward. Your mom went a little panicky, and she never did perform well under pressure, so she caved and said you were special. Too special for the other kids at your school, too special for anyone to know about it. 
After that, she got more tense. Eyes darting around whenever you guys went out in public, hand lingering for a second longer on your back before she sent you to school — as if she felt like she’d never see you again. She would stay up at night and read you old Greek tales before you went to sleep, and acted way too serious about it. More serious than when she would read you Dr Seuss. 
Honestly, it was a miracle you went unknowing for so long. Maybe you were insignificant, or maybe the Stymphalian Pigeon that tried to kill you after school was just slow — because you were seventeen when you got attacked by your first monster. 
You took it out pretty easily — and by that, I mean you outran it through the bustling streets of your hometown until it flew messily into a bus and you dodged your way to your apartment in a flurry. Your mom’s resolve cracked like a thin layer of ice and you were packed and ready to go to this camp she spoke of before the clock had hit four-thirty. 
Most of the yelling that you guys did was along the lines of — “I can’t believe you waited this long to tell me!” — and — “I didn’t want you to leave!” — “I get that, but seriously mom, I almost got eaten by a bird today. A little context going in would’ve been nice!”
You threw yourself into a taxi — much to the disdain of your mother, who insisted on at least getting you to the hill. You then reminded her that she would have to pay the fare all the way back to their apartment and it honestly wouldn’t be worth it and that you’d call her when you got the chance. She let you go with a huff, folding her arms across her chest and creasing the silky material of her pink blouse. 
The next hour was about as awkward as taxi rides go, even more so when you got out in the middle of nowhere. You weren’t even sure you were at the bottom of the right hill but sent the poor guy on his way anyway and prayed to whoever your divine parent was that you weren’t about to get gunned down by an angry farmer for mistaking his land for a summer camp. 
Thankfully, the empty fields shimmered into something worth travelling for when you took a tentative step across its threshold. The sun seemed to get brighter and the breeze became softer. It was nice from where you stood, and it probably would’ve gotten nicer the closer you got. 
Had you not tripped over a rock and tumbled down the hill ungracefully, landing in a heap at the bottom, a few feet away from a dirt path that split off in two directions. You sat up with a huff, blowing your hair out of your eyes and squinting at your surroundings now that they were much closer. You didn’t bother to heave yourself up, catching your breath and letting your gaze flitter over the scenery. 
It was cute. 
Then the distinct sound of horse hooves clipping against the ground evaded your ears, and you looked up to greet the centaur who now stood above you. You thanked the gods for your moms intricately detailed bedtime stories as you pulled yourself up onto your feet and allowed yourself to be introduced to Chiron and Mr. D, who then led you to the four story house that overlooked the valley. 
Your induction was swift and sweet — since you pretty much knew and had accepted everything already. There were a couple of glances and muttered comments about how you had gone so long without being targeted, but Chiron had said he wanted you to get the tour before dinner so you could settle straight to bed after the campfire, and caught some young kid by the t-shirt as he ran past, asking him politely if he could send Luke over. 
The awkward two minutes it took for your tour guide to reach you stretched on for a painful amount of time, but you would relive it a hundred times over if it meant you didn’t have to experience the agony you called your first meeting with Luke Castellan. 
He was tall, with a dark mop of curls that hung over his furrowed brows. His skin was tanned from all the time he spent in the sun, and his shoulders were broad enough to intimidate, but not broad enough that you were intimidated. He was your age, seemingly, and the cuffs of his green cargo pants brushed against his ankles only an inch higher than they would sit on an average person.
His most memorable feature, however, had to be the deep scar that stretched from the top of his left brow all the way to his cheekbone — it was jagged and sharp, cutting across his eye roughly, as if he had been clawed. He probably had. It was raised and shone pink under the sun, so you could tell it was fairly new, but it had healed over enough to indicate that Luke was probably tired of hearing people ask about it. So you didn’t. You barely gave it a glance before you raised your brows at him with a cheeky grin and gave him your name. 
He nodded minutely, one of the only movements he made after he’d parked himself in front of you other than the sliding of his eyes from one person to another as they spoke to him. After Chiron and Mr D had given him the rundown, he gave a slight nod of his head in one direction before walking away and expecting you to follow. 
You caught up to him, sidling up on his left with a huff and a smile, “I’m getting the feeling that you're sorta sick of this giving this tour all the time.” 
He didn’t respond. He just looked at you, and then stopped walking, watching as you froze two steps ahead of him before shuffling back to his side sheepishly. Then he lifted an unbothered hand to the right, “Those are the strawberry fields.” He then gestured ahead, “That’s the beach.” And then to the left, “Those are the training fields.”
Then he started walking again, and you hesitated for only a second before following, “Wow. Don’t give me too much information all at once.” 
Your sarcastic comment was ignored, and Luke nodded towards the bank of cabins you were nearing, “These are the cabins. Twelve. One for each Olympian. You’ll stay in the Hermes cabin until you’re claimed.”
“Right.” You nodded, “God of Travellers. Makes sense.” 
He let out a breath, not pausing in his stride as he passed through the curve of houses, not sparing a glance to any of them. You took notice of how the other kids looked at him in apprehension, with a hint of fear when he got too close. He cut down an alley between two cabins — one with a dangerous amount of barbed wire across the top and another that glowed gold under the sunlight — before the pair emerged through the trees at a pavilion. 
“This is where we eat.” He said. “Dinner is soon.” 
“Cool.” You nodded, “What are the options? Because if food here is lacking, then I will be packing.” 
You let out a useless chuckle at your own joke, but it landed flat. “Yeah, that wasn’t funny.” You muttered lowly. With a click of your tongue, you glanced over the horizon and pointed at something from afar. A tall structure that stuck out the tops of the trees, “What’s that?”
“The climbing wall.” Luke answered plainly. 
“And that?” 
“The Amphitheatre.”
You looked up at him, pulling a face he didn’t bother to glance at. Then you noticed a bunch of campers filing through the trees and into the pavilion the two of you stood at the edge of. They entered in groups and made their way to their designated tables, chattering and gossiping as they did. 
You looked at Luke, “Well, that was…great. Truly, a riveting experience. I will say, though — your delivery needs some work. The dark and gloomy act works most of the time, but not when you’re giving a guided tour.”
That got him to look at you, and you held back your triumphant smirk. He frowned, “What?”
You shrugged, “I’m just saying, nobody is going to listen to you talk about this place if you describe it like this.” You lowered your tone into a subpar impression of his voice, and you swore you saw his brows twitch. Clearing your throat, you waved a hand, “No need to worry about that now, though. Just point me in the direction of the Hermes table and I’ll be out of your strangely well-conditioned hair.”
Another eyebrow twitch. You were getting the hang of this. Maybe one day you could get him to move other parts of his face! 
You half expected the boy to ignore you and walk off — and he did. But it was in the direction of the Hermes table, so you counted it as him showing you the way. Most of the campers were seated by the time you’d arrived, and you were thus forced to sit yourself on the end of the bench, uncomfortably beside him. He was unbothered. 
During dinner you were swiftly introduced to some of your peers — Chris Rodriguez gave you a lopsided grin and informed you politely that you would need to sacrifice some of your food before you got stuck into it. Travis and Connor Stoll sidled up on either side of you as you grumbled at the hearth, and yapped your ear off about the fundamentals of camp. 
(So all the sneaky stuff Chiron doesn’t know about. Like how you can skip out on archery training if Lee is the one running it because he never has it in him to snitch. Or that the pegasi stables were the go-to hook up spot for summer campers, but the back of the Amphitheater was the go-to hook up spot for the year-rounders. When you asked what the difference was, they winked, and when you asked what happened if a year-rounder hooked up with a summer camper, they chuckled and walked off.)
Chiron gave you an introduction that made you feel like a new kid being asked to tell the class one fun fact about yourself, and around six kids at your table asked if it hurt when you fell down the hill. 
Overall, a good first night. As far as first nights at a summer camp for half-gods goes. By the time all the campers had gone back to their respective cabins, you were ready to turn in and clock out for the day. 
But you wanted to try one more time. Last attempt, and then you’d let it go. 
When Luke — who you had discovered earlier was the counsellor of the Hermes cabin, and apparently a role model for the kids — came over and silently handed you a folded orange shirt with a leather cord sitting on top of it, you smirked. 
“Hey, now we can match. How cute.” 
He blinked at you, “Everyone is wearing the same thing.”
“The same shirts, you mean.” You tilted your head, “But we’re both wearing green cargos. And white socks. White sneakers.” Your grin widened as you watched his eyes flit down your form, taking in the outfit you had on. You were right — the only difference between you two was the white tank top you had on, soon to be replaced by the shirt he had just handed to you. You thought for a moment that it would work, that he would make a face, or say more than two sentences to you in response. 
But he didn’t. He just huffed and walked away, and you watched with an appalled expression. You narrowed your eyes. 
Okay, so maybe you weren’t ready to let it go yet. 
The next morning, you were rudely awakened by a small child who was sprawled across your torso, having shifted from his own sleeping bag that was beside yours. He couldn’t have been any older than six, his orange camp shirt sitting like a dress on him, and if he wasn’t snoring into your chest, you would’ve thought he was adorable. 
But you really needed to pee. 
After you slowly but surely lifted him back onto his own pillow, you stood up with a stretch and stepped precariously over the other kids, balancing carefully on the tips of your toes so you didn’t step on any of them. The sun was barely rising, and you were the only one awake, so you held your breath and reached out for the handle of the bathroom door. 
“That’s not your bathroom.”
You flinched, losing your balance and toppling back. A hand between your shoulder blades prevented you from crushing any of the kids on the floor, and you steadied yourself before meeting the eyes of the person who spoke. 
Luke was staring intently at you, his eyes blinking hard as if he’d only just woken up. He was in nothing but a pair of blue sweat-shorts and you fought the urge to rake your eyes over his bare torso, watching as he lowered his hand back to his side, “That’s the counsellor's bathroom.”
“Right.” Came a low mutter, under your breath. Then louder, you asked, “Well, where is the campers bathroom?”
“Outside.” He answered, “Around the back of the cabins.”
“Out—“ You started, and then realised everyone else was asleep and swiftly lowered your volume, but kept your expression exaggerated. Wide eyes, furrowed brows. “Outside?”
“Yes.”
“But…it’s cold out there.”
“We have a controlled climate.” He said, folding his arms across his chest. His biceps tensed, “It’s never cold.”
You let out a sigh, throwing your thumb over your shoulder and pointing at the door, “Can’t I just use this one? You aren’t using it, and everyone else is asleep, they’d never know!” 
He stared at you blankly and stayed silent for a long time. You wouldn’t be surprised if he just never said anything until you walked away, which you were well prepared to do, letting out a deep breath and folding your own arms over to preserve heat as you clambered towards the front door, muttering complaints under your breath the whole time. You made it three feet (or two sleeping bags) away from him when he finally piped up. 
“Be quick.” 
Turning around, Luke was already making his way back to his own bed, and you ogled shamelessly at his back muscles as you shuffled to his bathroom and made your way inside. You did your business quickly as requested and washed your hands under the low pressure of the sink before cracking the door open once more. The cabin was the same, everyone else still sleeping calmly. Luke was standing by his bunk, now clad in black shorts and his camp shirt. He paid you no mind when you padded back to your sleeping bag, grabbing your bag and stifling through the clothes you had packed. 
You walked up to breakfast with the unclaimed girl you had met the previous night — Lana — and listened and she told you intently about the lore of Luke Castellan. 
“He never used to be the way he is. He was happier before, always grinning. More than ready to help anyone here. He was…well, everyone either wanted to be with him or be him.”
“And then what happened?”
“He went on a quest. It went wrong. He came back with that ugly scar and he hasn’t been the same since.”
You made a comment that the scar wasn’t ugly, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d add on that it made him look pretty hot. But you did know better, and you knew that Luke was three people ahead of you in the line and could probably hear what you were saying. So you kept that tidbit to yourself and ate your cereal in silence. 
When breakfast was over, you stood from the bench and turned, only to stop short when you realised Luke was standing behind you. Looking up at him, you raised a brow, “Yes?”
“I’m showing you around today.”
“You showed me around yesterday.”
His lips tightened, “We’re actually doing stuff today. Seeing what you’re good at.”
“Oh.” You ran your tongue over your teeth and nodded, “Well, where do we start?”
“Archery.” 
Turns out, you were pretty awful at archery. Even after you’d stopped firing arrows into the treeline, you still never hit the middle of the target. Lee had to correct your posture four times, and you broke six arrows. Eventually, you decided that Apollo was not your father, and shuffled over to where Luke stood beneath the shade of a tree — where he had been standing the whole hour. 
“Y’know, just because you’ve got this broody bad boy thing going on, doesn’t mean you have to linger in the shadows all the time.” You commented, picking at your fingernails and readjusting the long sleeve you wore under your camp shirt, “You just look weird.” 
Luke pointed at your cheekbone, “You’re bleeding.” 
You huffed, “I know.” You kept holding your bow too close to the side of your face and the feathers of the arrows kept scratching you whenever you let them fly. Lee mentioned how most people make that mistake the first time round, but you’d done it so much that he’d cut your lesson short and told you to get a bandaid from one of his siblings. You didn’t. 
He stared at your cut for a moment, like he was thinking hard about something. But he didn’t, and pushed himself off the tree he was leaning against and brushed past you, “Let’s go to the forges.”
You were better at blacksmithing than you were at archery, but the sword Charles Beckendorf was helping you weld still came out wonky and discoloured. He was a nice kid, funny, and your lowered spirits from your previous task had been quickly uplifted despite you not having much skill in his department. He let you keep the sword anyway, and you swung it jokingly at Luke as he led you to the Amphitheater. 
You made swooshing noises as you did so, chuckling when he didn’t so much as flinch, “Don’t act so tough, Castellan, I could take you out even with a dodgy sword.”
“You couldn’t.” He muttered, “I’m the best sword fighter here.”
You let out an over dramatic gasp, running ahead and swivelling around so you could meet his eyes, “Holy shit, was that…did you just…tell me something about yourself?” You grinned and his frown deepened, “Aw, Luke. We’re getting somewhere! This is amazing, I’m so proud. Soon enough we’ll be best frien — “
Before you could finish your incessant teasing, Luke grabbed your forearm and yanked you in front of him just as a kid on an out-of-control Pegasus toppled past you. You watched him disappear in mild shock, before looking back at the boy in front of you, “Hey, thanks. Almost got trampled. How embarrassing.”
He narrowed his gaze, “Do you not take anything seriously?”
You shrugged, “Not really. I’d ask you the same question, but…” You made a face. It was obvious that he was very serious, even if he never used to be. 
“Let’s go.” Was his boring response, moving swiftly past you and into the Amphitheatre so quickly you would’ve assumed he was trying to get away from you. (Which he definitely was).
You weren’t really all that bothered, not when you were having so much fun pissing him off. 
It took all of ten minutes for Luke to put your sword fighting lesson to an end. Not only had you insisted on fighting with the wonky sword rather than a working training one, you also kept pushing him with your hands whenever he got too close. 
“That’s not how you’re supposed to do it.”
“Hey, it’s working, isn’t it?” 
You were pretty shit at it anyway, so you didn’t fight him when he said you were cutting your lesson short. You simply tucked your weapon onto the sheath he’d handed you and followed him down the hill to the dining pavilion. 
“So, where are you from?”
He didn’t answer you for a couple of minutes, something you’d been well prepared for. But you couldn’t help but ask — he intrigued you. A little too much, maybe. 
You continued, “Because you seem like a Mass guy.”
Luke stopped in his tracks, turning to you, “Mass…achusetts?”
“Yeah.” You nodded, fighting off your amused smile when he pulled a face. Finally, an expression!
Truth was, Lana had told you he was from Connecticut. You just wanted to see how he’d react, if he would react at all — apparently he isn’t immune to everything. 
“I’m from CT.” He made it very clear, and you tried your hardest not to laugh. “Okay? I'm not some Boston Masshole, got it?”
You raised your hands in surrender, “Got it.” 
He stared at you for a second longer, as if to ensure you really did have it. Squinting at your amused smile before nodding and continuing his walk. You thought it would go back to silence, but apparently you’d lit a fuse. 
“I mean, what makes you think I'm from MA?” He asked, his tone of voice so appalled you’d think he’d been accused of some sort of crime. “Do I smell like shit?”
A chuckle, “What?”
But he just whirled on you once more, lifting his arm and gesturing to his pit, “Do I? Do I stink of shit?” 
You didn’t feel like sniffing him, so you just shook your head, still laughing, “No.” 
“Then what — ?” He stopped, narrowed his eyes, “Where are you from?”
You tried to hide your smile, but it was getting really difficult. The last two days he’d been nothing but broody and miserable, one word quips being his only form of communication other than dark frowns. But one mention of Mass and he’s suddenly down to chit chat? You couldn’t help but laugh — unfortunately, it only spurred him on. 
“You think this is funny?” He scoffed, nodding, “Yeah, bet you’re from Maine too.”
Your laughter continued, little giggles spilling out of you whenever you thought about the situation too hard. You shrugged, “I don’t think I wanna tell you after this.”
Luke nodded like he was expecting you to say that, “Something a Mainer would say, I’m sure.”
You grinned wide, very proud of yourself for getting a visceral reaction out of the boy — even if you had to piss him off to do it. Just as you went to reply with a witty comeback that would have him ranting and raving for the rest of the night, the dinner conch sounded, interrupting what you’re sure would’ve been a very entertaining conversation. 
You walked on past him, not stopping, but slowing down so you could cough into your fist, “Flatlander.”
You didn’t look back but you did hear him scoff in shock, and you were sure he stood there frozen for at least twenty seconds because he entered the pavilion way later than you did. He made a point to fix you with an annoyed stare as he sat down a few people away from you — and Chris raised a brow. 
“What’d you do to him?”
You shrugged, digging into your mashed potatoes before anyone could tell you to wait until you’d made your offering, “Told him he looked like a Bay Stater.”
He chuckled, wincing under his breath and shaking his head, “You’re evil. I like it.”
You smirked and said nothing — but whenever your eyes flickered over to Luke, his were just flickering away from you.
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xiao-come-home · 1 month
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Boothill and his s/o BUT after Boothill d!3s and becomes a cyborg, the ones who brought him back erase his memories of his s/o and now he’s either distant or resentful of their s/o🥹
Clutches my shirt in pain
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Boothill isn't sure who you are and why you keep following him. You don't seem to be dangerous, so he doesn't fight you - but the way he meets you in the same places makes him feel suspicious about you.
You, on the other hand - not only mourn the loss of your beloved once, but twice - he's lost his body, seemingly getting turned into a cyborg, but what makes your heart bleed is the lack of memories you've shared together for so long.
He doesn't remember you.
But there's something, something that he feels is attracting him to you. Boothill notices the heartbreak on your face eventually once he sets his gaze on you long enough, but avoids eye contact once you're the one looking at him.
There's something familiar about you, but he doesn't know what exactly. The longer he tries to ignore the feeling, the worse it gets - and by "worse," it means he's closer and closer to finally speaking you.
That one day he sees you at the same bar he's always gone to, drinking the exact same beverage as him, sitting on his seat—
He caves in and finally gets the conversation going. It flows so nicely, he doesn't pay attention to the time anymore; his now unrecognizable hand seems to make its way to wipe the tears that started to run down your cheeks unexpectedly, but Boothill only realizes his actions when you stare at him and freeze in place.
"I'm sorry. I don't know why I—"
"No, it's oka—"
"It's gettin' late. A pretty thing like ya shouldn't be goin' home all alone. Would ya let a cowboy like me to help out?"
Boothill extends his arm to you.
You accept his invitation, your hand still fitting perfectly in his, missing only the warmth that once used to be there.
Perhaps there's still a chance to start from the beginning again.
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foone · 1 year
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BTW as a trekkie the funniest thing you can do is find someone who isn't and try to explain Spock's Brain to them.
"so trek got canceled after two seasons, but fans launched a massive letter-writing campaign and got it renewed. First time that'd happened in the history of TV, I believe. They came back with an episode called Spock's Brain."
"interesting. So what's the plot?"
"aliens steal Spock's Brain"
"what. And what else?"
"no that's pretty much it. His brain gets stoled. They have to go find it."
"huh. Why do the aliens steal it?"
"they need a computer to run their society."
"and they decide to use Spock's Brain?"
"yep! So the Enterprise crew rigs up a remote control device for Spock's body so they can drive it around like a toy car, and go looking for his brain."
"wait. They don't leave it behind in, like, medical stasis?"
"nah they're worried they won't be able to get the brain back to his body in time. So they bring it along. As a remote controlled body. They've got a little remote with like 5 buttons. Walk forward, turn left, turn right, Kung-fu attack, and so on"
"attack?"
"yeah they have to fight off the aliens at one point. With Spock's body."
"huh."
"the best part? The ultimate moral of the episode seems to be against gender segregation"
"WHAT"
"yeah see the aliens who stole Spock's Brain are a bunch of cavemen living on the nuclear-winter surface and a bunch of women living below ground, with PAIN RAYS. the women steal Spock's Brain to run their society, because they're not smart enough to run their machines."
"that seems... Sexist?"
"yeah a bit. So at the end when they get Spock's Brain back, they solve the society's problems by convincing them to reintegrate the sexes and work together on solving their problems. Also Kirk says something like 'in time you'll learn that women can provide not only pain, but pleasure!' to the cave men"
"... Do the women have pleasure rays too?"
"no. He's not talking about that. Anyway this is all skipping over the fact that when they meet up with the alien woman they saw steal Spock's Brain, she doesn't know how to put it back in. Or take it out. She doesn't know what a brain is."
"what"
"yeah she was sent on this mission by the old computer that was failing, and it used a Teacher Machine to temporarily give her SUPER SURGERY skills to get the brain out."
"so she went from not knowing what a brain is to being able to do neurosurgery?"
"yeah. And here's the thing: McCoy can't put the brain back in either. It's too compilated for him."
"so they went searching for Spock's Brain, knowing that they had no way to put it back in?!"
"exactly! So McCoy gets taught how to do Super Brain Surgery by the Teacher Machine, and he starts putting Spock's Brain back in his body, but the skills wear off before he can finish"
"they wear off?"
"yeah you only get them for a few hours. So he has the brilliant idea of hooking up Spock's vocal cords so that Spock can walk him through hooking up the rest of his brain."
"there are so many reasons why that doesn't make sense"
"YEP! THAT'S SPOCK'S BRAIN!"
"so this was a guest writer who never worked before or again, right?"
"no, it was Gene Coon. He wrote like 15 episodes, most of them pretty good, and went on to do some other scifi films. He's the guy who created Khan."
"why do you like Star Trek again?"
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hwaitham · 8 months
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𝓲'𝓵𝓵 𝓫𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓮𝓵 𓈒 ˖ ࣪ 𝜗𝜚 al haitham x f!reader. nsfw — mdni. established relationship ノ inexperienced al haitham ノ a teensie bit of nipple play ノ spit :3 drool :3 ノ dry humping ノ you call him ' haithie ' quite a bit ꒰ᐡ´˃ ˙̫ ˂ഃ`ᐡ꒱ ノ this is a rewrite + repost from my old blog !
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the akademiya’s scribe is in heaven.
at least, that’s what it feels like—with your whimpers and keens and pretty, pretty pleas, legs caging either side of his hips, and your panty-clad cunt weighing down heavily on his crotch; he can’t seem to bring himself to paint you as anything but some sort of celestial body.
and it’s his first time in heaven.
it’s the first time his angel of a girlfriend is sat on his lap like this: the lace straps of your dress sliding off your shoulders and digging into the supple flesh of your arms—the arms that wrap around his neck to pull him closer, closer, until there’s no room for air between your bodies, or your lips. your mouth moves languidly against his own—softly, sensually, each wet smack decorated with a small whine that sends a painful throb to his cock.
his lashes flutter sporadically as you continue to kiss him, and for the first time, al haitham can’t seem to think straight. 
because you kiss him like that—so gently, so carefully, fingers curling at his nape—every kiss to his lips feels like the first but you kiss him like it’ll be the last. tilting your head to press against him even deeper, deeper, and then he drowns. in the roses that bloom in his chest and the lose petals stuffing his mouth full, in the scarcity of your sweet voice when all you can do is call out for him, wanting al haitham, your al haitham.
“h-haitham… mmm, haithie…”
he's in heaven—on cloud nine, and he doesn’t want to come back down.
perhaps it’s the intimacy of the moment, of your fingers in his hair and your warm breath settling in his lungs that has him harder than ever before, but al haitham’s stomach is in his throat, his heart pounding with lust and mind racing with feelings so foreign—fear, embarrassment. he grows horrified by the thought that just maybe you can feel his raging boner through the thick fabric of his pants.
“please, p-please…” your voice pulls him out of his head and you run your hands down the grooves of his biceps, the veins that line his forearms, and then your fingers find his own, loosening his fist before smoothing his palms up your torso to your breasts, squeezing gently, “can you touch me here…? pretty please, haitham?” 
the way you say his name is hypnotizing: a soft, needy mewl against his lips and he has no choice but to cave in, nodding along with a deep hum when you wrap your fingers around his thumb and run them over your pebbled nipples. “f-fuck… i… yeah, baby.”
and as if that isn’t enough to send your boyfriend’s mind reeling, when he feels your tongue dip into his mouth to massage his own, when he feels your saliva mix with his and collect at the swell of his bottom lip—dribbling down his chin in slow, teasing ebbs—he moans: a smooth, drawn-out assonance that travels straight to your clit. 
you can’t help the reciprocated sound that al haitham swallows and the slow roll of your hips that follow as you search for friction to ignite the tightly wound coil inside you. a mewl pushes past you when you feel his hard-on through your movements, grinding your sex along the outline of his cock, “haithie… feels really nice…”
your sweet keen overwhelms your lover—a heavy dizziness carrying from one ear to the next and it stokes the embers in his gut—he’s sure he won’t be able to control the flames if you continue on like this any longer, clinging onto him like some guardian angel who's nothing short of head over for her human, nuzzling your cheek against his, making those pretty, pretty noises.
he doesn’t want to cum— at least, not yet— not until he sinks his cock past your wet folds, deep, until his leaking slit brushes that one sweet spot that makes you arch your chest up into his and you’re calling out his name like it’s some sort of prayer. 
he can’t cum, he won’t allow it— at least, not until you cream around his cock, tears wetting your cheeks that he can wipe away, loving you through your high just as you’re loving him now: purely, tenderly.
the thought sends his mind into overdrive, his pulse picking up when he starts to hear it ringing in his ears, and so he pulls his lips away from yours hastily, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. his brows knit tightly and his molars grind in frustration as his fingertips move from your breasts down to your waist, digging them into the flesh to stop the slow rolls of your hips.
“h-haithie?” your voice is sweet when you call out for him, it always is, but he think’s so especially when it’s like this: wobbly and pitchy and teetering on the edge of blubbery sobs.
“i’m fine— you’re fine, just… need a sec,” he pants headily, pulling you into him impossibly close, until your body melts into him and your heart dovetails his through the gaps in your ribs.
you’re absolutely intoxicating, with the sugary, decadent scent of your perfume and the steady rise and fall of your chest, where he can feel your nipples against his own. his forehead is heavy on your shoulder and he tries to smother the flames burning behind his eyes, tries to ignore the dull ache of his cock as his impending orgasm retracts.
al haitham pulls away from your neck and tilts his head towards your lips when he thinks the bright blue flames have subdued to a light flicker, looking up at you through lidded eyes—at the pretty angel sitting on his lap with a halo glowing around her head. 
“you’re the sweetest, haitham…” your palms cup either side of his face, thumb wiping away the remnants of rosy glitter that had fallen from your cheekbones onto his. he sees the way you gaze at him ardently, nothing but love and adoration held in your blown-out pupils before you lean in, lips brushing over his forehead, and then his brows, his cheeks, the bridge of his nose, his chin.
it's staggering—how wanted he feels, how loved. a feeling that wakes something long dormant inside him and flushes his limbs full of warmth. 
he wants to make you feel the same way too.
you’re the sweetest—he wants to say, but he can’t seem to peel any words from his throat with the way blood floods the swell of his cock, his chest caving inwards with a burning desire as he meets you halfway when your lips reach for his.
and it’s in how you two kiss this time around that ignites the fire in his stomach brighter than before—soft, delicate fingers tracing over his cheekbones as you tilt your head and melt your silken lips into his—tiny, satisfied whimpers escaping you when his palms smooth the skirt of your dress up to your hips, run along your thighs and grope at the soft flesh of your ass.
prompted by his warm touch, you grind down into him again, pulling away ever so slightly to breathe out your wants, needs over his lips.
“w-wanna, i wan’, haithammm—“
“c’mon, use your words. i know they’re, h-hah, know they’re in there.”
you whimper, cheeks hot and head dizzy when he asserts himself, “wanna fuck, haithie, want your cum s’bad,” it comes out a pitiful whine, one that al haitham realizes the pain behind when you take his pinky in your hold and guide his palm from your ass to your tummy. “in here… wan’ it in here.”
there’s no way you don’t know the effect your words and the way you say them has on your boyfriend—it’s beyond torturous hearing you say how you want him in you, cockhead knocking at your cervix and balls heavy over the swell of your ass and his seed filling your womb and oozing out of you in creamy globs that drivel and stick to your thighs and—god, al haitham just can’t stave off the orgasm that hits him, “fuck, i’m—!”
before you can ask him what the matter is, he groans, loud and low into your mouth, a tiny squeak escaping you when he bucks his hips up into you unexpectedly, each painfully erotic thrust of his punctuated by the bounce of your body.
you’re quick to realize what’s going on with him when you feel his open mouth puffing out hot air and choked expletives onto your skin, fingers lightly digging into your back as he fists the lace fabric of your dress so tightly you can feel them tremble. 
and then there’s his cock twitching about in this shorts, thick, creamy ropes spilling from his slit; the thought is dizzying, it heats you up, and you can only latch onto al haitham’s arms to steady yourself.
when you look down to where your crotch meets his, you’re greeted by the sight you expected—a dark patch spreading along the seam of your lover’s slacks, the dampness seeping through until you can feel it through the gusset of your panties and slathered as strokes of glaze over the apex of your thighs.
your lover falls back onto the bed almost instantaneously as he comes down from his high, covering up the growing blush on his cheeks and ears with his forearm, shame settling into his bones while he slowly regains his full consciousness from cumming—hard—shuffling his hips around uncomfortably from the hot, sticky feeling in his pants.
it has you giggling shyly—a cute, playfully innocent sound that makes al haitham’s heart skip several beats.
“you… you’re just a little minx, aren’t you?”
nuh uh, ‘m not! is whispered into his palm when you bring his hand up to your lips to place a long kiss to his wrist, trailing them up to his fingers before you lean over him and lay another one to the underside of his jaw. 
he moans when you wiggle your cunt over his still-aching cock. he stills wants more.
and you’ll give him more, you'd give him anything he wanted, pull the moon down to the earth if he’d asked, anything, everything—and so, you lift yourself up off his lap, sink onto your knees in between his spread legs and run your palms up his sinewy thighs. 
he tenses under your sensual touch and you have to bite back a moan when he finds his way to your hair, lithe fingers brushing free strands from your face before he gently takes your twin-tails in either hand. 
kisses follow in the trail of your warm touch: a kiss to his knee, another one halfway up the inside of his thigh, and a final one to the bulge of his crotch, wet salt spreading over your lips that you lick up and swallow with a satisfied hum, smiling at how his hips roll up into the air.
“can i clean you up, haitham?”
he peeks down at you when your angelic voice reaches his ears, and for the first time, al haitham begins to doubt himself.
he wonders whether maybe letting you get on your knees for him was a mistake, because when you let a glob of spit fall from your lips onto his twitchy bulge and lean down to lick it off—the white glow of your halo shining brighter than ever— he thinks he just might cum again.
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slvttyplum · 1 month
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HII!! I LOVE YOUR BLOG SO MUCH IT ALWAYS MAKES MY DAY BETTER 😭😭its my fav daily activity at this point
So could I pretty please request for a satosugu discovering their partener likes puthy slaps😟🙏if you want.
thank u so much and I hope ur doing great!
-🎀🦅
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satoru loves discovering new things that you like when it comes to sex, it's like finding a treasure chest filled with gold, he gets greedy with you, and you love him down for that. as long as you and satoru have been together, he's still finding things out, including that you like to get your pussy slapped until you squirt.
the reaction he got out of you when he did it, and you squirted over his lower half, his eyes were shooting out of his head and his heart race quickened, it was something he's never seen before. of course satoru was quick to jump to conclusions so he didn't want to jump to conclusions with this one, he wanted to see if you actually got turned on from having him slap your pussy.
so he waited it out, he didn't do it the last times the both of you had sex, he wanted to make sure you weren't sensitive to his touch, but who was he trying to kid, you were always sensitive when it came to satoru. any slight touch he put on your body, you were going to tingle.
first he had to test you out, he knew his baby was sensitive, so he didn't want to put too much pressure on your core before he even slipped inside of you. his hand rubbing over your warm cunt as one of his fingers brush past your clit, a small whimper sliding past your lips as you cover your face, before you could even rest your arm over your eyes, he took your arm.
“don't hide, i want to look at you.” his hand rubbing over your core again then lifting it up then back down, the contact of him smacking your pussy sent tingles throughout your body immediately. a moan slipping out your mouth and your stomach caving in, it felt so good you could barely comprehend it for the minutes that followed after.
there it was, that cute moan and the way your body jolted when he did it, he knew this wasn't just something that happened because you were at your climax, you actually liked it, and if you liked it then he loved it. so satoru would slap your wet pussy until you came all over him, the reactions that followed made him want to do it again and again until you were crying.
no time for you to do anything beside moan and whimper, his big hand slapping on your pussy every ten seconds, once the tingles of pleasure were dispersing, more rained down on you the more he did it. this wasn't only new to him, but it was also new to you, the sensation was like nothing else he's done to you.
the force of the slap that caused a bit of pain followed by pleasure that submerged you under his hand, this was your new favorite feeling, and you were so glad that he caught on, because he kept doing it until the palm of his hand was red and the painful sensation in his hand took over.
there was no denying that he wanted to keep doing this to you, watching your reactions as he kept doing it, watching you squirm and hold his wrist as he keeps doing this, but he wanted you to ask him, actually no, he wanted you to beg for him to keep doing it. you had to use your words
if there was one thing satoru was going to do was make you ask for the things you wanted, closed mouths don't get fed, if you didn't ask he wasn't going to continue to do it, even if he liked doing it as much as you liked him doing it to you. he wanted you to be up and honest about the things you wanted and liked, even if that meant being embarrassed.
likes why you were blabbering with teary eyes begging him to keep doing it, your mind fuzzy and your back arching from every hit he gave to your pussy, it felt so good that you didn't have time to be a brat and tell him no. you needed his big hands hitting down on you and sending shivers throughout your body while your moans could be heard blocks away.
the way he made you feel clouded all embarrassment that could possibly block you not asking him to keep doing it, his hands were perfect for this, every time he did it. he made you cum, and that's exactly what you needed, new ways for your man to make you cum, even if that meant having a swollen pussy after the fact.
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running-with-kn1ves · 2 months
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Sleepy Afternoons
A/N: Teehee ngl I just wrote this as a period comfort fic indulgent for myself. I hope you nerds enjoy it as much as I liked writing it!
CW: AFAB reader on period, jokes of breeding, using a dragon as a heating pad, pretty much just fluff
WC:2000
Synopsis: A lazy Sunday, the perfect start to a week on your period where you'll be constantly pestered by your dragon boyfriend.
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A dragon’s hoard in times long before consisted of fine jewels and immense mounds of gold, shiny objects as far as the eye could see. Whether it was stuffed in the depths of a cave or deep in the forest, a hoard barred spikes and “DO NOT ENTER” warnings; whether they were legible or not was never up to the righteous dragon’s responsibility.
Adventurers and bandits never heeded these signs of caution, getting stuck in the narrow holes meant for dragons to shimmy through or meeting their demise through puzzles and endless booby traps-- such monsters were thorough in keeping their treasure safe. Any item that caught the creatures attention could be found in their rich reservoirs, even if they were mere wave-smoothened stones from a lake, an old lover, or a prettily decked-out concubine that was too tempting not to take. 
That however, was centuries ago. Dragons, like the rest of us, must conform to modern society, technology too powerful and people too abundant to go around flying and terrorizing just to get one’s hands on a pretty penny.
Your boyfriend, once a ravenous creature with a cave of glittering gems and fine craftsmanship-- that he may or may not have maimed many blacksmiths to steal-- now resided with you in too big of a bedroom. You had argued before buying the apartment; who would need this much space? But his hoarder tendencies clearly made up for the abundance in space. Gaming consoles, silvery granola bar wrappers, aluminum dollar store trinkets, books with glittery covers-- the floor was almost unseeable with his trash and treasure mixed together. He wasn’t necessarily dirty-- in fact every item had its own spot and preferred place, which is why it killed a piece of him any time you threw away something that should not be “decorating” your shared home. 
Though as you practically took care of both of you, it was hard to keep up being the caregiver in the relationship. Especially, on your period. Sunday, what a perfect day, to realize you had a whole work week ahead of mood swings and lower abdominal pain, all mixed with the gory massacre you’d face every time you went to the bathroom. Your cramps didn’t usually come in this early of a start, but it seemed like nothing was going quite right today.
“T’s wrong, darlin’?” Your draconic, crusty-eyed boyfriend mumbled into your back. “Somethin’ hurting…?”
He had been asleep since noon, ignoring the stream of yellow shining down on him from between the cracks of the blinds. But with those poor eyes and slightly above average listening skills, he completely ignored the sun and heard your groans of pain as you curled into a ball. The aching in your lower tummy was like hellfire, crisp burning and somersaults of your organs unlike any other pain than usual. Nothing was helping, no cold rags or medicine, it was like your infinite headache and body pains were destined to consume you. 
“C’mon baby answer me, I wanna help..” He pouted again.
“Just my stomach..” You downplayed, not sure if you could handle his frantic coddling if he realized you’re period started. The last time you made the mistake of doing so, you had pads stacked to the brim in your bathroom cabinets and tampons in your closets, the mass shoplifting endeavor of his creating even less space in your home. Well, atleast you were set for the next fifty-seven or so cycles.
 “I just need to rest n’ I’ll be fine, soon…” 
Another wave of pain came through, head ringing as soft nails raked up and down your sweating back. 
‘When will this be over,’ you wondered. 
Maybe that horrible breeding endeavor your boyfriend was always obsessed with was worth it if it meant you wouldn’t have to suffer through this for nine months. Yeah, just nine months of morning sickness and bloating and growing a whole dragon-human parasite inside of you. But hey… the making part wouldn’t be too bad, and atleast you would be crotch-pain free. 
Man, now the pain was really talking through you.
“Yer period, right?” Your dragon wonders, scratching the back of his head. He’s more awake now, and you wish he was still passed out grabbing onto you, even through the sticky sweat from his body heat. “I’m sorry baby…I know it hurts. What’you want me to do?”
“How’d you even know..” You groan, almost annoyed at how keen he is. Next thing you’d know he’d be shoving some pretty pawn shop jewelry for you to hold to distract you from the pain.
“I don’t think.. You want to know. And well there’s the obvious, I noticed you changed the bed covers.”
Oh lord, was he talking about that split tongue-nose smell-ability ‘dragon thing’ again? Could your embarassment get any worse?
“Does that mean you’ve… EVERY TIME? Every time you knew?”
He sheepishly fell into the new sheets of warmth, those dark eyebrows lifted in innocence.
“Sometimes before you knew, I think.”
Officially, you wish your boyfriend was asleep again. Maybe you’d just strangle him to end this mind-numbing conversation. 
“What can I do?” He repeated. “Get you more pads?” 
“No.” You shut him down as soon as the words left his mouth. 
“What then? A snack, more pillows? Now’s the time to be babied, you know. Unless you’d be okay with me coming to work with you--” 
You groaned, partly to shut him up and to vocalize the squeezing, contracting inside of you. 
His clawed fingers came to cradle your belly, right below your belly button on your pelvic muscle. He rubbed, just gently, back and forth with a slight pressure as your head buried into the sheets beneath you. 
“Just this.. is fine..” You murmur, feeling hot, humid breath exhale against your neck, emerald green slits baring into your twisted expression. He was watching you, the way your body reacted, the little signals of discomfort. 
You heard a slight flutter of his wings as they adjusted, his body fitting against yours like a puzzle piece; it was nice to be the small spoon again, rather than cradling your needy dragon lover like a cocoon as he so often desired. 
The dragon slowly pushed a leg between your bunched knees that stuck together, getting easier access to your tummy. His palm was so warm, as the torso flushed behind you kept a reassuring prresence. You almost turned on your back to get his palm farther against your stomach, the slight pressure and warm temperature soothing the ache in your lower back and groin. 
“You know… I could always breed ya, then you wouldn’t have to--” 
“Don’t try to convince me right now.” you spat, turning into him as his hand worked magic, the other brushing hair off of your neck and cheek. “That’s not an option, especially right now.”
“Well, at the very least I can make you feel good. Might ease up some of the pain, yeah?” He laid back down to lean in closer. 
You sighed; he clearly didn’t understand the discomfort and embarrassment that his oh-so keen intimacy would bring you right now. You loved the sentiment, and maybe you’d be up for it if you weren’t solely thinking about your physical misery, but you barely had the fortitude to look back toward him. 
Your dragon buried his flared nose into the top of your head, lined against you like a perfectly shaped heat blanket. 
“You wouldn’t even have to do anything.. I’ll do whatever makes ya feel better.” His other hand snakes beneath your hip against the bed mattress, pulling you back toward his body even closer, if possible. The warm, spiked fingers tapping alongside your pelvic bone made your skin spark, your lower stomach buzzing with numbed pain and a fullness that made you want to sleep for another week. “I don’t like seeing you like this.” He frowns. “Your face.. You look so, uncomfortable.”
“Wow, thanks.” You jab, feeling a heated tail slither up your knee, to your thigh. It almost flicked in apology. “Mm.. Just stay my heating pillow and I’ll be fine.” 
“I can do that.” The confidence in his voice worries you, knowing he’ll do an unnecessary load of more than you asked for. Your fetal position was gently yanked free, a pounced creature on your back as you’re forced onto your stomach. “I’ll be the best spiky heating pad you’ve ever seen.”
The strong, scaled forearms of your draconic spouse come to wrap around your hips, a burning touch ringing from his skin, worming his way beneath your comfortable pajama pants and shirt, skin on skin as his body temperature rises to accommodate your desires. His forearms seem to ripple against you, fingers tickling your sides as his legs trap against your thighs from above, most if not every length of his body pulsating against yours like a live, scaly cocoon intent on making you his personal plush, and he your sweet, warm monster. 
“Feel better baby…” He kissed at the nape of your neck, sandpapery forked tongue popping out to lick away your sweat. “It’ll be over soon.. I’ma make it all better.”
You leaned deeper into the stuffy mattress sheets, the pressure on your abdomen welcomly encouraged as you push as far as possible into his fiery hands.
“I’m betting on it.” You muffle into the pillows, squirming your hips against his his body, warm chest and carved quadriceps surrounding you. The slight pressure of his inner thighs against your hips was welcoming, his mounted position atop of you seemingly odd to an outsider-- but you didn’t care how weird it might’ve looked, as the calm of your gutted abdomen took over. 
You yawned into the side of the pillow as you turned your head, lifting your hips just a little to soak in the heat radiating from behind you. 
“Awe’d, so sleepy huh? Need a little nap?” the dragon behind you poked. 
Who knew a murderous, millenium-old dragon would be sweet-talking you so gently-- just a few centuries ago he was murdering travelers for stumbling just a few steps too close to his prized hoard. 
“But I just woke up.” You protest, upset at the sleepiness of the afternoon that was rubbing off from your draconic lover on you. “Got too much to do, can’t lay in bed all day..like you.” 
You groan into the pillow as a wave of cramps hit you, only slightly set ajar by the gentle massaging of the skin above your pelvic bone. 
“Hrmm.” Your boyfriend thinks, shoving his warmly snout against your neck. “I guess it’s unfortunate that I’m not going to be letting you go then. Not allowed to get up until you feel better.” 
You laugh, taking one of your dragon’s toasty hands to your chest to hold onto. 
“I’ll be here all week, then.”
It was here you felt the safest, the warmest, the most vulnerable and easily devourable-- well, thankfully dragon’s didn’t particularly have a taste for the flesh of humans. Shutting your eyes, you let the guttural ‘hrmm’s’ of your dragon lull you to thoughtlessness. 
“If that’s what it takes..” He presses a deep kiss close to your forehead, relishing in the sweet scent of your hair. The huffs from his nose tickle the back of your ears, such petrichor warmth and humidity so reminiscent of past lazy mornings. “You’re not going anywhere, my diamond.”
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