#rip my huge essay it was so good

[zippers]

well anyway................ lesbians who initially thought we were asexual are not natural enemies with people who are legitimately asexual… we have common experiences that lead to a conflation of labels and using that as an excuse to dislike asexuals or to delegitimize asexuality is self-centered at the very least... my way or the highway? nobody is going to experience life the same way, but their experiences are still happening, and for every lesbian who credits asexuality for encouraging their internalized homophobia, there is an asexual who felt their lived experience be validated for the first time after learning about asexuality. and we can both be telling the truth! there is no actual consequence for being "wrong" about your sexuality. THAT rhetoric is what is causing harm to questioning tweens, not people educating about asexuality.

(As an aside, I think some of this stems from how we've moved from including the Q for questioning to queer -- not that queer isn't also a helpful term, but its a lot more ambiguous compared to questioning, and it's just an upsetting word to a lot of people which makes the word less inclusive for the specific purpose I am discussing. In general, I think it is most inclusive and appropriate to specify that the Q stands for "queer/questioning" but that seems to have fallen out of favor recently.)

(Also in my original essay I made a really good comparison: my autism was misdiagnosed as OCD. I am pretty sure I do not have OCD, and being diagnosed with OCD instead of autism has definitely been a huge setback in my mental health journey. I understand why I received that diagnosis, and I understand why I thought I was asexual (I didn't think Dean Winchester was sexy. LOL. Wish I was joking but that was a major reason why I thought I had to be asexual.) But still, I know there are people with OCD and I know that there are autistic people with OCD. I am just not one of them. The same way as there are asexual people and asexual lesbians. I am just not one of them and their sexuality journey is going to look and end differently than mine.)

We as adults in the greater community have the responsibility to make honest information about sexuality available AND teach that if you do end up experiencing attraction that is contrary to the label you've attached yourself to, you were not "wrong", you were not duped, you just hadn't had the opportunity to collect all the data yet.

Unfortunately, since a lot of these realizations wrt asexuality happen around puberty or during an early relationship, a lot of the people realizing they aren't asexual do not have the emotional maturity to fully consider others' experiences and instead react with anger. Anger at wasted time, whether that is time spent denying yourself a healthy relationship, or time stressing over which MOGAI label correctly describes what symptoms of childhood trauma that is impacting your ability to form relationships (because let me remind everyone that a lack of sexual attraction/libido CAN BE a trauma response and a symptom of depression, and for SOME PEOPLE (me) spending all that time trying to validate something that stemmed from trauma is a form of self-harm. As was reading exlusionist discourse on tumblr, and well, look where that landed me.)

But ultimately, time wasted is time passed. And the 11 year old wearing an ace flag at pride will not be saved by you telling them that asexuality is cringe. (In fact, they've been prepared for that very sentiment by the extremely prevalent but well-meaning messages of "it's not a phase despite what adults in your life will tell you" and it only bolsters their conviction.) Let them make mistakes, or let them be right. Although their body is still changing, they still know it better than you or anybody else. Someone else's sexuality is not something you can live vicariously through.

I have identified both as asexual activist and an ace exclusionist in my life. Do not bother sending me discourse over my lived experience and opinions, as I have heard and said it all. For now, I love all of my asexual friends and trust them to know about their bodies and their feelings. it would be creepy and intrusive if I didn't. To be honest, I'm still working on getting over thinking the asexual flag is cringe but only because I was super embarrassing about it when i was a kid and that's what my flavor of anxiety has always done to me, like, I passionately hated avatar the last airbender for half a decade because I was bullied for liking it in elementary school and started believing the bullies (thank god I got over it, because i started watching korra as a guilty secret and a year later it turned out being what made me finally comfortable to come out as a lesbian!).

LOL this ended up being a good half as long as the original essay that got wiped by Tumblr. not as good or eloquent though. sigh. But i was supposed to work from home today.... oops.... I have spent 4 hours now typing about asexuality like it's 2010 XD

#if we are to start hating people who ''lead lesbians astray'' we are gonna have to start hating men with long hair LOL #rip my huge essay it was so good #this is so disjointed and honestly talks about different things LOL #queer #for bl #asexuality

[hysteria-things]

can you do a teacher!chris and a college student pleasee. (With smut. And if you want to!!)

PROFESSOR STURNIOLO

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: dom!teacher!chris x student!reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: this isn’t your first problem with this specific professor, but at this moment you’re fed up and want to put your foot down.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: SMUTTY SMUT, p in v, degradation, spanking, masturbation (female), making out, stomach bulge, overstimulation, dumbification, squirting, cream pie

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1,535

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: we are locked in🫡

your professor dismissed class mere seconds ago, and everybody either has already left the lecture hall or is still packing up. “are you meeting us for lunch?” your friend says, zippering her bag and putting it on her shoulder.

you scoff, shaking your head. “can’t.” you say, ripping out the essay you wrote for this class that was due a few days ago. “professor sturniolo gave me an F on the essay.”

“again?” she questions genuinely shocked. “he’s got a bone to pick with you.”

this isn’t the first encounter like this you had with your professor. this class — your argument and persuasion class — is the only one you’re failing this semester.

not in your three years have you ever had this type of problem, and after many F’s, you’ve finally had enough.

“well, good luck.” your friend sighs, leaving the classroom with the remaining group.

now, that leaves you and him.

it would be a different story if you didn’t do the assignment right or didn’t try on the essay, but you’re one hell of a writer and you’re sure he knows it. you’ve always been good in school, ever since a young age.

normally you wouldn’t pick up fights with teachers, but your blood has been boiling for this dude for weeks.

“what’s your problem with me?” you say sternly, wiggling the paper in your hand as you step down to where he is.

he stops erasing the board and turns to you. “class is over, ms. l/n.”

yeah, no shit.

you roll your eyes. “so? i want to speak with you about my recent essay. you always give me F’s and never explain why. i would understand if it happened once before at the beginning of the year, but for every. single. one? it’s ridiculous.

he’s emotionless as he listens to your rambling, then he shrugs. “it wasn’t good enough.”

you crinkle the paper in your fist and slam it down on the desk in front of you. “wasn’t good enough my fucking ass, professor sturniolo. is it a favoritism thing? or are you fucking the other chicks in your class so they can have good grades? is that what i need to do? do i need to fuck you?”

the moment those words left your mouth, you knew that was a huge mistake.

you wouldn’t be surprised if he does, though. he’s not much older than you, and he is attractive.

he licks his lips, tilting his head toward himself. “bring it over.”

you gulp, feeling slightly intimidated. you uncrinkle the page and hand it to him, who is now sitting in the chair.

not even reading it, he stares at it and looks back up at you. “sorry. your paper didn’t meet the expectations.”

your pinch your lips together to keep you from screaming at him. “you didn’t even read it.” you shake your head. “i should’ve dropped this class when i had the chance. you’re cocky, and a waste of my time. i’m failing probably because your teaching sucks.”

as you start to storm out, he speaks up. “i’m going to have to clean that filthy mouth of yours.” he smirks. “teach you a much-deserved lesson, then afterward you can see if my teaching still sucks.”

you pause in your tracks, face turning beat red as you slowly turn back around. “w-what?”

he motions you to come over with his finger, and for some reason, you listen.

grabbing your wrist, he pulls you over his lap so you’re straddling him. again, you let it happen. you can’t help the wetness that starts to pool between your legs.

“you can admit it, you know,” he whispers, dragging his hand from your waistband to your mouth. he grazes his thumb over your bottom lip.

“a-admit what?” you stammer, shuffling in his lap which causes him to groan and hold your hips.

he chuckles. “deep down you want me to fuck you. i bet you touch yourself to the thought of me like a desperate little thing.”

you look away, face turning even redder than before if possible. “nuh-uh.”

“your face says otherwise.” his whisper shoots a chill up your spine as he starts to unbutton your shorts.

the way your fingers move quickly inside of you have your eyes shut with your mouth dangled open.

you were lucky enough to get a single dorm, so you can do whatever you want without being sneaky about it.

the way your legs are spread makes your fingers dig deeper, curling to hit the right spot. you grip onto your sheets tight, moans and other loud noises leaving your lips.

your previous orgasms make a mess below you or the back of your thighs, but you don’t stop. you’ve been at this for almost an hour because your mind is only focused on one thing.

your lecturer.

professor sturniolo.

“shit.” you pant, your orgasm building for the nth time. you let go of the sheets to massage your breast, pinching at your nipple from time to time.

you whine. “just like that.”

legs shaking, your fingers get coated with yet another orgasm, but you wish it wasn’t your fingers.

you wish it were his.

your shorts are now on the floor, along with your shirt, underwear, and bra. chris still has his clothes on except for his pants.

hovering just above his tip, your lips move in sync with each other. his tongue fights yours, and the erotic sounds of you two kissing fill your ears.

his hands rub along your back before spanking you hard, ruining the intimate moment. you pull away to gasp.

“sit,” he demands, mouth agape as he looks down to watch you try to sink onto his dick.

you grunt from the pleasurable pain, stopping just about midway. he’s probably the biggest you’ve ever seen. “it’s not gonna fit.” you whine.

“i’ll make it fit.”

with that, he grips onto your ass, hammering up into you without being able to adjust first.

you grab onto his shoulders for dear life. you moan uncontrollably, the feeling of him raw inside of you making you grin like a fool.

you’ve been wanting him to do this for a very long time.

“look at you.” he starts, smacking your ass to have you jolt. “having the professor you allegedly hate balls deep in you.”

“i-i do— ha-ate you.” you struggle to get out, a hand landing on your asscheek again.

“is that so?” he mocks, waiting for you to talk back but instead you moan even louder. he nods. “that’s what i thought.”

he bites his lip, looking at the way your tits bounce rapidly and at the bulge in your belly, eyes widening slightly. he’d never seen something like that before.

“i should keep you around more often after class.” he groans, seeing your face of pleasure.

eyes rolled back, mouth hung open, hair disheveled and sticking to your forehead from sweating.

“you make a pretty little cocksleeve.”

that sentence makes you clench around him, your body starting to quiver from the overwhelming feeling. “ngh— feels so go-od. y-you make me feel s-so good.” you whimper. “wanna cum!”

“not until you apologize.” he tuts, grabbing and then spanking your ass. “say you’re sorry, and i might let you cum.”

you whine, his cock now kissing your g-spot more than it did before. “i’m s-sorry.”

“for?”

“for— mm!” you squeal. “for being b-bad.”

“and?”

“and-and—” you can’t finish because of the sudden clear liquid squirting out of you, now making your pussy squelch more than it was before. your back arches even harder, your brain all dazed and dumb from the overstimulation.

you start to lose stability from being too weak, so chris has to hold you by your arms.

he groans, shaking his head at the terrible mess you are making. “come on. you can do it.”

tears spill from your eyes, sobs running past your lips. “a-and for t-talking back. fuck!”

his dick twitches inside, his thrusts getting sloppy. “i hope you’re on the pill because i’m going to fill you deep, baby.”

you can only make sounds, so a high-pitched moan echoes throughout. you’re seeing stars the closer your orgasm approaches before it finally snaps and you’re smearing the ring of white around his dick.

he doesn’t stop, causing your body to twitch in his grasp as another orgasm builds since he’s still fucking deep to your g-spot.

“close again?” he laughs fake. “scream for me. let people know how much of a slut you are; letting your teacher use you to get a better grade.”

your body slowly starts becoming limp, eyes fluttering closed as you moan.

he spanks you for the last time, not caring that his job is on the line.

“louder. they can’t hear you.”

screaming this time, you cum once again when he holds you down on his shaft. you collapse onto his chest, quiet sobs leaving your lips as you feel his cum start to fill you.

he peppers kisses on your shoulders, peeking over them to grab a pen and clicking it open. he scribbles over the previous grade on your essay to write a new one.

A+

𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!

@bunbunbl0gs @lexisecretaccx @thy-mission @angelic-sturniolos111 @sophssturn @mattsneezing @janiellasblog @blahbel668 @meg-sturniolo @hearts4chris @mattslolita @sturnbaby @imwetforyourmom @tillies33ssss @sturnifyed @mayhem-72 @ripmattitude @p1xieswrld @alorsxsturn @txssvx @sttzee @multiluvr @delilahprentiss @matthewsspecial @sturnolio-luvs @sturniolho @suga-daddy-69 @tworosesblackthorn @luckistar-posts @gnxosblog @junnniiieee07 @sturnioloslurps @tylerthecreatorsrealwife @flowerxbunnie @imaslut4kehlani @sturniolosandmoree @hertvgirl @whoreforchrissturniolo @r4iyaa @sturniolotriplettoplover @mattybswife @freshsturns @loverrsposts @sturnlcvr @elliesturniolo1 @tpvmz @user283926392 @lalalands86 @sukiipjs @sturniologirl813 @leahrab @chrissturniolosslut @h3arts4harry @sturnioloblogs @creamoncreamoncream2 @luv4kozume @ivyyyyyysposts @mirxcle1 @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @sturniol0s @catalina-island @mbsbaby @pinkfarts @slut4mattsturn @thesturniolos @vickeyzloserz @nononopeno1

#chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo imagine #sturniolo smut #sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo smut #✎ ⤾ haleigh’s requests!

[kotir-propaganda]

Mossflower has so much going for it, like I’m not even being biased because my blorbo is in it. I will die on the hill of it being Best Redwall Book for several reasons.

-It’s as early Redwall as you can get without actually being Book 1. As such, it avoids a lot of subjects and patterns that would later become repetitive tropes... but it also avoids the Book 1 jankiness of horses and human structures and the implied existence of Portugal. The world as we will come to know it feels more or less fully realized here. The abbey’s not here yet, but its foundation literally is- and we also get our first look at Salamandastron and the extent of Mossflower Wood as a whole.

-It has some of the most solid protagonists around. The legendary hero Martin is here, but he’s at a low point for most of the story and has to work his way up to that legacy! And this is where he does it, this is what future Redwallers remember him for, not the events of Martin the Warrior. Also, Gonff is here? Hello? Maybe the single most charismatic character in the series? Not to mention Dinny, how often does a humble mole actually get to go on a quest in these books?

-This isn’t even getting into how badass all the rest of the woodlanders are, too, but... they absolutely are. This is a small band of rebels that’s been driven from their little houses, they don’t have the luxury of those huge sandstone walls to protect them, but they’re still fighting like hell and outsmarting their enemies to boot. Some of them are seasoned fighters, but some of them are just ordinary families, all banding together to take back their homeland. And they keep it up the whole time! They’re not just waiting around for a guy with a sword to tell them what to do!

-The villains are probably the most nuanced in the whole series. Seriously. There are four whole wildcats here (don’t forget Sandingomm!) and only ONE of them is unquestionably evil. It’s absolutely implied that Verdauga was a fearsome warlord in his day, but if nothing else, he raised ONE kid who turned out to be about as Lawful Good as you can get, and he actually scolds Tsarmina for being mean to her brother!! I wish we could have spent a little more time with Verdauga, honestly, I have so many questions for this man.

-There are a decent handful of morally grey characters here, actually. Chibb spies for the woodlanders, but he’s not the most dependable and is motivated by payment more than sympathy to their cause. Snakefish allies with our questing heroes, but he minces no words in warning them that he’ll just as soon eat them if it comes down to it. Even Argulor is really just out here looking for a bite to eat and can you really blame him, because ashleg is a snack

-Tsarmina herself is irredeemably cruel, but even still there are multiple facets to her. On one hand, she’s scary- big and powerful and ready to rip into anything/anyone with her bare claws. At the same time she can be a clever strategist when she wants to be- poisoning her father and framing her brother, and later manipulating two of her obstacles, Argulor and Bane, into taking each other out. And still yet it can be kind of funny to watch her in action, as she gets humiliated by the resistance on multiple occasions. And maybe there is even a little pathos there, as we see her mind start to slip, and get some glimpse into the deep fear and paranoia that completely overtake her at the end.

-There are just great supporting characters on both sides. Mask is amazing, Fortunata is fantastic. And yeah, Blorbo Supreme Ashleg is here, and I don’t NEED to write a whole essay about him to promote Mossflower as a whole but... having him here is nice! It helps!! May we all follow his example and pursue happier lives for ourselves!!!

-Mossflower laid the foundation for so many events and characters of later books. I mean yeah, it’s a prequel. It’s there to support the first book and by extension, everything that comes after. But so many other great titles in the series have a direct line to Mossflower, from Outcast to Long Patrol to Lord Brocktree and more. Did you enjoy those books? You’re welcome. The threads were already there, just waiting to be expanded upon.

-at one point a wooden leg gets used as a projectile weapon and if you don’t think that’s the best thing ever, I don’t know what else to tell you buddy

#redwall #mossflower

[chvoswxtch]

hello! I hope ur having a good day! I have a request if you’re up to it! we’ve always had Professor matt so to spice things up can we have a college!matt x professor!reader? he’s actively trying to gain the pretty professor’s attention and she’s slowly falling for it. you can make it fluffy or spicy or smutty. its all up to you!

hi nonnie!

I hope you're having a good day as well! I genuinely loved this idea bc we all know matty is a flirt but I feel like college!matty is a HUGE flirt and would totally go after the pretty professor. and honestly, she would eat that shit up, let's be real. but who wouldn't???

thank you so much for the request! ❤️

warning: contains mentions of sexual content (minors please dni), swearing word count: 3k

office hours.

When Matt was reminded by his advisor that he needed to take a literature course to satisfy his degree plan, his eyes nearly rolled into the back of his head. He had been continuously putting it off, but with one final semester left of undergrad, he couldn’t graduate without it. It wasn’t that Matt didn’t enjoy reading, he simply just wasn’t interested in taking anything that didn’t have to do with his program. He’d read enough “classic literature” and written enough analysis essays in high school, and he wasn’t looking forward to going through that agonizing process again. Reluctantly, he signed up for the last course available.

Taking a seat in the very back of the small classroom, Matt set up his laptop and plugged an earbud into his ear, prepared to appear engaged while he got started on a project for another class. All around him seats filled up with other students, but it wasn’t until he caught the sweet scent of pink grapefruit and blue wisteria that his fingers stilled over his keyboard. He turned his head slightly to the side towards the wall as the scent rushed down the hall, accompanied by a racing heartbeat. Matt’s head snapped towards the front when you walked through the classroom door slightly out of breath, heat in your cheeks from the run, and also a twinge of embarrassment. 

“Probably not the best first impression to be late on the first day of class, but in my defense, I’m still learning how to navigate New York. I can’t promise I won’t be late again, so we won’t be counting tardies in this class, to a reasonable limit.”

An anxious giggle left your lips, and luckily everyone seemed to find the humor in your admission. Matt’s lips parted slightly at the sound, and he quickly ripped the earbud out of his ear as you introduced yourself.

“Hi everyone. My name is Y/N Y/L/N, please call me Y/N. This is my first year teaching, and you guys are my second class, so we’re figuring this all out together.”

Another timid giggle left your lips, and Matt clenched his fist tightly as the sound settled in his ears. 

“I don’t expect perfection, I just want you guys to do your best. We aren’t reading things some arrogant ‘expert’ decided was a classic, or writing mind numbing papers identifying every literary device to prove you know what they are. I want to show you works that move you and make you think…make you feel. And I want to know what they make you think, and how they make you feel. The only way to fail this class is to not try.”

God your voice. It was as sweet as your perfume and had a velvet cadence that stuck to Matt’s ears like honey. He wanted to listen to you talk for hours, about anything. Your heart continued to beat wildly in your chest throughout the duration of class, and you fiddled with the rings on your fingers as you paced slowly around. You were incredibly nervous. Matt could feel it in the tremble of your fingers, hear it in the slight shake of your voice, and feel it in the rush of blood that never left your cheeks. He found it endearing that you were so anxious, and could hear how passionate you were in the way you spoke. Everything about you drew him in, and before he could stop himself, he was marching up to your desk once everyone filed out of the room to introduce himself.

“Excuse me? Hi, my name is-”

“Matthew Murdock, right?”

Matt abruptly paused, and he swallowed the sound that threatened to come out of his mouth at the way you said his name.

“J-just Matt, uh…yeah.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Matt. I’m Y/N.”

Your hand was so soft and small clasped in his own, and he could faintly smell the scent of blackberry from a lotion you’d smoothed over your body the previous evening. 

“It’s nice to meet you as well.”

“You have perfect timing, I was actually just about to come to you.”

Matt’s ears perked up at that, and he stood up a little straighter, already missing your touch as you slowly let go of his hand.

“You were?”

“Yeah, this is for you.”

You lightly wrapped your fingers around his wrist, carefully guiding his hand to a folder that you had outstretched in your hand. Matt cocked his head to the side slightly as he let his fingers glide over the folder, pausing as they ran over a braille label that had his name on it. Taking the folder into his hands, he opened it to find stacks of paper in braille on the inside.

“It’s the syllabus, a list of the works we’re studying, and the first section of notes we’re going to go over. I wasn’t sure if you were able to access the digital copies. I’m still trying to figure out how the portal works, honestly.”

There was a timid smile that stretched across your mouth, and Matt could hear a slight bit of nerves in your confession. For a moment he was stunned silent by the kind gesture, swallowing thickly as he closed the folder and offered you a small smile in return.

“I-uh…yeah, I was able to. But um…I-thank you. For this, I uh…I appreciate it.”

“Of course. I like to have tangible copies of things, myself. Helps keep me organized. Or, at least I think it does. Maybe it’s a sensory thing and I’m just tricking myself into thinking it’s making me more productive.”

Matt couldn’t help but chuckle as you giggled softly, nodding his head in agreement.

“I can understand that.”

“Well if there’s ever anything you need, any help or accommodations at all, please don’t hesitate to tell me. All my information is on the syllabus, and I practically live here since I never go home, so my office is always open.”

“Good to know.”

From that day forward, Matt sat in the front row for every single class. He blitzed through every single text on the syllabus, always prepared to participate in the discussions, and approached every assignment early. He wanted so badly to impress you, and his chest swelled with pride every time you complimented one of his thoughts or ideas, or stayed behind after class to offer your positive verbal feedback on one of his assignments. 

Matt knew he wasn’t the only one that wanted the pretty, young professor’s attention. He could hear the way the other students in class talked about you, which caused a tide of possessiveness to rise in his chest. Matt could also feel your affect on them as you smiled in their direction, or offered a compliment to one of their remarks, and it made jealousy simmer in his bloodstream. He was determined to be your favorite.

He found himself constantly stopping by your office hours to feign needing help or a second opinion on his approach to a paper, mainly as an excuse to talk to you alone, but also to scratch that itch of praise when you confirmed he was on the right track. Matt knew he was smart, and he knew he wrote incredible papers, but he liked hearing that come from you. 

He loved when you complimented his intelligence. Was it wrong to fake being unsure just to hear you say, “That’s exactly right, Matt” or “I hadn’t even thought of it that way, but I love that idea”? Probably. But it didn’t feel wrong. It felt good.

Matt had to be careful playing dumb. You both knew he was smart, so he had to switch his tactics up. He found himself asking for other recommendations for reading material from you, wanting to know what your favorite works were, going out to buy them and consume them just to get a glimpse into your head, and then listen to the passion in your voice as you explained why they meant so much to you. He liked that you asked him questions too, questions he didn’t hear you ask any of the others when they stopped by. You asked him about how his other classes were going, how his day had been, about himself and his friends, and he could tell you genuinely cared about the answers. Every second he spent with you, he felt the crush he had on you getting stronger and stronger. He knew the way he felt about you was wrong. You were his professor, and he shouldn’t be having the thoughts about you that he did.

He shouldn’t feel like his heart was going to beat out of his chest every time you smiled in his direction and showered his mind in praise. He shouldn’t feel the spark of something more when you let him hold your arm as you guided him towards your office, reveling in the feeling of your soft skin beneath his fingertips. He shouldn’t stroke his cock to the sound of your voice from a recorded lecture, waiting to let himself come until it got to the part of the recording where you said his name so sweetly. He shouldn’t be waking up with a wet patch on his sweats after yet another wet dream about fucking you over your desk. All of this was wrong, and the good Catholic boy in him knew that.

But he couldn’t find it in himself to care. 

Because every time he started to feel guilty about what he was doing, he reminded himself of the way your body reacted to him.

Matt was careful with his flirting, crafting his sentences in a way that could be played off as casual conversation or banter, but riddled with undertones that could only be understood by the person given the cipher. The blood that rushed into your cheeks when Matt complimented you back or said something teasing that made you giggle only fueled his confidence to get bolder and bolder as the weeks went by. 

He heard the uptick in your heart rate when he mentioned how soothing he found your voice, and the way it pounded beneath your ribs when he “accidentally” brushed his hand over your exposed thigh to reach for his backpack. He felt the warmth that pooled in your cheeks when he stopped by with your favorite coffee, and when he confessed that you were one of the best professor’s he’d ever had; definitely “his favorite”, he had said. He should’ve felt bad that he could possibly ruin a career that you were clearly very passionate about, but the selfish part of his brain was screaming that you felt it too. 

With spring break approaching soon, and the thought of going a whole week without being around you, Matt devised a plan to finally make you his.

The building was empty considering most professors and students had left the previous day to get a head start on vacation plans, but Matt smiled to himself hearing your familiar heartbeat coming from your office. You had made class today optional, in case anyone was traveling or needed the break, and Matt had hoped that he would’ve been the only one to show up. To his disappointment, about half the class was there, but he knew he would get you alone soon enough. Matt waited until your office hours were just about to end, in case any other student had some last minute question, and when he was certain that it was just the two of you alone, he raised his knuckles to knock softly on the worn wood of your open door.

A quiet gasp left your lips, clearly surprised by the company, and Matt had to stop the cocky smirk that threatened to take over his mouth at the way your heart started to beat faster noticing his presence.

“Matt, hey.”

“Hey. I didn’t miss your office hours, did I?”

“Uh…nope. You have exactly a minute.”

Matt’s mouth split into a wide toothy grin at the playful tone in your voice, chuckling as he followed the familiar path from the door to the chair that was directly in front of your desk.

“Well, I’ll make this quick then. I know you have very important spring break plans to get to.”

“Oh yeah. Super important. I mean, my takeout isn’t gonna order itself.”

Matt dropped his backpack on the right side of the chair, folding up his cane as he sank back into the plush cushion and tossed it down by his feet. He pulled off his glasses and set them on your desk, a habit he had gotten into since you’d let it slip that you preferred it when he didn’t wear them.

I feel like you hide behind those, sometimes. It’s nice to get to see all of you, Matt.

His tongue darted out to quickly wet his lips as he fixed his gaze in your direction, a timid smile pulling at the corner of his mouth.

“I actually need to ask a favor of you.”

“Of course, Matt. Whatever you need. What can I do?”

Matt gripped onto his own thigh to steady himself, your immediate response and sweet voice hitting his cock before they even reached his ears. His lips parted slightly when you sat up a little straighter in your chair, leaning in closer over your desk with a warm smile on your lips.

“I need a letter of recommendation for the law program.”

“And you’re asking me?”

Matt couldn’t help but laugh at the surprised tone of your voice, shaking his head slowly as he leaned in closer to your desk and rested his elbows on the surface.

“I already have a few from my other professors, but my advisor mentioned having one from a professor outside of my main area of study would make me seem more…well rounded.”

Matt should’ve felt horrible about lying. He didn’t actually need a letter of recommendation from you. He’d applied to the law program months ago, and had already gotten in, but he would confess that later.

“Mm, so I’m next in line to make you look good?”

“Well, you are my favorite, and you have a way of making everything sound beautiful. If I’d taken your class a long time ago like I was supposed to, I probably would’ve asked you first before anyone else.”

Matt didn’t miss the sharp intake of breath you took, or the way your face instantly became a few degrees warmer.

“You wouldn’t have been able to take my class earlier, Matt. This is my first year, remember? You would’ve been stuck with someone else.”

“I guess I forget sometimes because you’re so good at this. But, that’s true. I don’t think I would’ve liked who I got stuck with as much as I like you. I’m glad I waited for you.”

Matt did his best to stay calm as he heard you swallow thickly, your breathing becoming a little more shallow as your heart rate drummed loudly in his ears.

“That’s…really nice of you to say, Matt-”

“I mean it.”

A blanket of tension suddenly surrounded the two of you, and his lips parted slightly as he caught a faint shudder course through you. Your fingers clutched the hem of your dress where it settled high on your thighs, digging your nails lightly into your palms through the fabric. Matt was waiting for your body to give him a signal, indisputable proof that you wanted him just as much as he wanted you, before he crossed that line the two of you had been dancing around.

“Um…when do you need it by?”

“The earlier the better, I’m a little behind. But, take your time. I’d like this to be as…real and honest as possible.”

“I…um…I can have it ready for you by the time we come back from spring break.”

“That’s perfect, thank you. I really appreciate you doing this for me. I appreciate everything that you do for me, truly.”

“O-of course. It’s my job, Matt.”

Matt’s voice dropped an octave lower as he cocked his head to the side slightly, running his tongue along his bottom lip before the corner of his mouth curled upwards into a devilish smirk. 

“No. I think it’s more than that.”

Bingo.

The second he felt you press your thighs together under the desk and the enticing scent of your arousal hit his nose, Matt knew he had you. He rose from the chair steadily, gliding around the side of your desk slowly like a predator circling in on its prey, grabbing onto the sides of your chair as he bent over so that your faces were merely an inch apart.

“I think you know that too, sweetheart.”

“Matt-”

“I think if I put my hand between these pretty thighs, you’d be just as wet for me as I am hard for you.”

A shocked gasp flew past your lips as you sank back further into your chair, fighting the urge to spread your thighs to let Matt test his own theory, and averting your gaze from the prominent bulge in his jeans. 

“We can’t-”

Matt lightly grasped your chin in his hand as he forced you to look at him. He delicately traced his thumb along your bottom lip, leaning in ever so slightly to bump his nose against yours as he inhaled your scent deeply.

“You’ve done so much for me. Been so good to me, sweetheart. Shown me so much kindness. I’d like to repay that kindness, and show you how much I appreciate you. You gonna let me do that?”

A soft whine of desperation sounded in your throat, and a huge grin split across Matt’s mouth as you leaned further into his touch. He had you exactly where he wanted you.

“Yes you are. Because you’re my girl. My good girl.”

tags: @yarrystyleeza @little-miss-dilf-lover @neverlandcity @charmedkim @queenofthenoobs @stilldreaming666 @messymissy @dark-academia-slut @strawberry1042

#matt murdock #matt murdock x you #matt murdock x y/n #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x female reader #matt murdock x fem!reader #matt murdock x f!reader #college!matt murdock #college!matt x professor!reader #matt murdock fic #matt murdock request #matt murdock smut #daredevil #daredevil fic #daredevil request #daredevil smut

[yaasirambles]

HeartRacer- Lee Jeno NCT

I wrote this a while ago for @jammingjaem and I decided to edit it and post it as a y/n piece!

Word Count: 2,687

Warnings: Mentions of illegal activities (street racing) and mentions of Consumption of Alcohol

Plot: In which you're Jeno's friend and he races with his motorcycle. He invites you out one night to come watch his race.

Racer!AU, SFW :) Cute lil thing

“Annndd done! Thank God. This essay was gonna be the death of me,” You say to yourself. You clicked the SUBMIT button and closed your laptop. You throw your head back on the chair. Closing your eyes and spinning slowly. 

*clink* 

You open one eye. Nothing around. You shrug your shoulders and close your eyes. Letting out a deep breath. 

*clink*---*clink*--- *clink**clink**clink*

You jump out of the chair and pull up your window, leaning out and looking down, scanning around the dark yard. Then, you see the cause of your disturbance. 

“UGH, YOU!” You shout in frustration

“Gee, nice to see you too.” Jeno rolls his eyes

“What do you want, Jeno?” 

“I’m coming up. Move back” 

“What? No, don’t you dare-” You back up. You hear him run, and his feet land on the wall as he climbs up the wall, the lattice screen on it helping him get a grip as he climbs, probably ruining the flowery vines on the way up. You saw his fingers at the edge of the window sill. He pulls himself up and jumps into your room, standing right in front of you. Barely an inch between you two. His face looked down on you. Your breath catches in your throat, and your heart flutters a bit. You back up and clear your throat. 

“I wanted to see if you’ll come to my race tonight. Please, please, please.”

“No, Jeno. I already told you. I just spent 4 hours on this essay, and my brain is burnt out.”

“Aha, see, I knew that might be the case. So I got you iced coffee, and it’s waiting for you. Chenle has it downstairs.” He looks at you with those stupid puppy eyes. 

“Uggghhh. Fine. But I’m going in the car. Not on that death trap you call a motorcycle.”

“Fine, fine. As long as you’re coming. Oh, there’s also gonna be a kickback/party type thing after, and we’re going to that too. It’s Friday, so I know you can’t use school as an excuse not to go.”

“Ok, whatever. Well, I need to change then in that case.” you sigh, walking to your closet. You didn’t hear anything, so you turned around. Jeno is staring at you, leaning against your desk. Arms crossed. “Ummm”

“What?” he raises an eyebrow at you.

“LEAVE. I’m not gonna change in front of you.” 

“Why? Scared we’ll end up kissing or something.” He smirks

“AGGHH, LEE JENO!” You throw a shirt at him. 

He throws his hands up in the air defensively. “I’m kiddiiing. I’ll be at the meet. Renjun and the other dreamies are waiting in the car downstairs. See ya there, my lucky girl.” He hops out of the window. 

You roll your eyes and rummage through your closet. You were slightly panicking because you wanted to look good. Not for him. Pfft nevvveerrrr. Okay, maybe just a little….whatever. You decide on a pair of ripped black jeans, gray vans, a red crop top that says “CHERRY BOMB.” and a light wash jean jacket. You rush down the stairs and hop in the back seat of Renjun's car.

“Where’s my coffee?” you demand, holding your hand out.

“Right here, Ma’am.” Chenle hands you the cup, and you take a long drink from the straw. 

“Ok, let’s go, kids,” you say. Renjun nods.

You end up on some long, empty streets. A crowd bustling in the middle. You thought it’d be smaller. It was a street race, after all. Kinda illegal… Not at all, somewhere you would be regularly. You walk with the dreamies, following them, trying to find your group. You’re a huge group, yet you always manage to lose each other. You spot your best friend and her Boyfriend, Jaehyun. They’re the couple of the group, and they've been together for two years. She’s in black jean shorts, fishnets, A black bralette, and boots. Jaehyun in black jeans, vans, a white t-shirt with rolled-up sleeves, one arm around her, the other hanging onto his Jean jacket slung over his shoulder. They are a power couple. You think to yourself, I wonder if Jeno and I could be like that...nope, no, ma’am. No interest in that hooligan. Cute, stupid, reckless-

“Y/N. YOU’RE HERE, YESSS!” someone shouts, snapping you out of your head. Your best friend was running to you. “I’m so glad you came! How’d he convince you?” she pulled you in for a hug.

“Bribery of the highest degree,” you say and point to the iced coffee. “I can’t resist free coffee.”

“Of course,” she laughs. “Well, c’mon. Everyone is further down. We’re all at the start line, so we can see Jeno come in first.” she grabs your hand and leads you to the rest of your group. Everyone comes walking towards you to say Hi. Johnny picked you up and squeezed you. You go through the round of hugs and cheek kisses as greetings.

You look around the area. Motorcycles are placed in the middle of the street, behind the start/finish line. Their riders hanging around, talking to people. You spot Jeno talking to some girl. A really pretty girl… Your heart drops a little as you see him smile at her. It's probably his secret girlfriend or something. He catches you, and his eyes light up. He jogs towards you, and the girl follows. He looks so good in that stupid race jacket. 

“Hey! Wow, you look… great,” he breathes out, staring you up and down. “Oh, um, this is my friend. She and Her girlfriend are race girls. You know, the one who waves the flags for us to go.”

“Ohh! That’s cool!  It’s nice to meet you! I’m Y/N,” You say

“I’m Min! So nice to meet you.” She pulls you in for a hug. “It’s almost time to start! I’ll see you at the party?” 

You nod, and she smiles and runs off to gather the riders at the start line. 

“You’re gonna be in the front, right?” he asks.

“Yeah, of course. It’s where the rest are. so you know..” You respond, playing with the hem of your shirt awkwardly 

“Awesome, cool, cool, cool. Um, well, I better get in position. Kiss my key?”

“Your key??” You raise an eyebrow at him 

“Yea. You know, for good luck. Please?” he holds it out. 

You roll your eyes and kiss the blade of the key. He smiles widely and runs off to his Motorcycle. Your heart flutters again…

You walk over to the front of the sidelines where your friends are. Jeno and another rider are the first, with four others behind them. Engines were revving up, and people were cheering for their chosen rider. You wave to him, and he waves back with a gloved hand. How the hell does he look so handsome with a helmet on?? You can’t even see his face, but you know he looks good. Ugh. 

“Are we ready racers?” Min shouts

“On our count!” her girlfriend shouts. 

“One!” Min raises her flags.

“Two.” Her girlfriend's flags go up as well.

“Three!!” the engines revving loudly. 

“GO!” they both scream, waving the flags down and kneeling as the bikes fly past them. You run into the street along with many others to see the bikes take off. Some people chase after them. The crowd moves back to the sides as the racers come back to finish the first lap—two more to go. Jeno is the 3rd to come in this lap. You bite your lip, praying he wins. The last lap comes around, and you peer out, waiting impatiently. You see his bike leading, and he burns through the finish line. Your group screams in victory, and he starts doing donuts in the street as the other racers trail behind. You run to his bike, and he hops off, pulling off his helmet, hugging you, picking you up, and spinning you. 

“See! I told you, my lucky charm.” He grins ear to ear. His eyes sparkled, and his chest rose and fell heavily. 

“I would have been so mad if I came and missed out on sleep just to see you lose” You rolled your eyes. Your heart flutters secretly. 

“Hey, you guys ready to head to the party?” YangYang says, walking up to you. 

“Yea. We’ll see you there.” Jeno said, taking your hand. “C’mon.”

“Uhhhh. I’m going with Dreamies,” You said, raising an eyebrow.

“Uhhhh no, you’re not. Ride with me. Please? I just won the race, and you saw I’m a safe driver, pleeeasssseee” He begged, again with stupid puppy eyes. 

“Fine. If I die, I’m killing you.” You huff and let him lead you to his motorcycle. 

He takes an extra helmet out and places it on your head. Smiling at you. He climbs on, and you get behind him. Your hands grip his shirt tightly. Too scared to wrap your arms around his waist. He revs the engine loudly, and you roll your eyes. What a show-off. Suddenly, the bike jerks forward, and your arms wrap tightly around him in fear of falling off. You can feel him laugh lightly.

“You did that on purpose, so I’d hug you like this,” you grumbled. 

“Maybe. Maybe not. Prove it.” He chuckles. You roll your eyes again, and he takes off. You keep your eyes closed the entire time. Too afraid to open them. The sound of you guys whipping past cars and the loud wind was already terrifying. You didn’t want to see the flying lights just yet. 

We arrived at a huge white house. It's seriously huge—pillars at the front porch. Magnificent garden. Different colored lights on the lawn, music blaring out the front door. You grabbed Jeno’s arm tightly, and he patted your hand. 

“Is this too much?” He asked, concerned

“No. No, it’s okay. I should be fine.” You smiled at him.

He nodded, and you walked inside. He was being greeted by people who knew him, congratulating him on his win at the race. 

“Ah, it was all thanks to my Lucky Charm here.” He says to the people,  smiling at you.

You continued to walk through the house, trying to find your group.

“Who’s house is this?” you asked. 

“Mins. Her parents left her everything since she has no siblings.”

“Oh. Is it just her alone here? It must be hard for her.”

“No, her girlfriend lives here. And she rents out the rooms to people for cheap. Mostly college students since the university is close by. Or for free if there’s a family or individuals who need help for a bit.” 

“Her parents are probably super proud of her for that. Wow.” you sighed.

“Hey!! Glad you got here in one piece.” Min came running up to you, hugging you both. “There’s tons of food in the kitchen, so please help yourself with anything you want. There are drinks too. Pool in the back as well if you wanna swim.” 

“OH, FOOD, thank god!” Jeno exclaimed. Throwing his head back. “Okay, we will be in the kitchen. Thanks, Min!” He started pulling you away, so you waved goodbye to her as she laughed. 

Mark was in the kitchen as well. He was getting pizza and a drink. 

“Hey, y/n. Do you want a drink?” He asks, “There's some jungle juice in here.”

“What’s that?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Like just a bunch of alcohol and juice or soda mixed. There's also Soju Lemonade.” 

“Soju Lemonade, please,” you say, and he nods and fills up a red solo cup with the drink. 

Jeno looks at you questioningly. “I didn’t know you drank.”

“Sometimes. Not often.” you sip on the lemonade. It was refreshing

“Hmm, hiding a wild side from me?” 

“Find out,” you smirk. The alcohol was making you a little brave already.

“Sheesh. I might” 

You walked out to the back, finding the rest of your group playing beer pong against each other. You watched and finished the rest of your drink by the time they were done with the game. 

“Wanna play next round?” Johnny asks you.

“I’ve never played before..” you say shyly.

“Don’t worry! I’ll be your partner,” your best friend says. “We can play against Jaehyun and Jeno.” 

“Oooooo, Boyfriends vs. girlfriends, I like that!” Johnny exclaims, 

“Jeno is not my boyfr-” you start to say before someone hands a ping pong ball to you. 

“Ladies first,” Jaehyun says, smirking at your best friend.

“You guys are going down,” She laughs. 

The game was competitive. A small crowd gathered around to watch. Unfortunately, you did have to drink as many cups as you made them drink due to making the ball in the cup. It was down to the last cup on both sides—your turn. If you miss, you lose. You concentrated on the opening and threw the ball. It landed, and the boys hung their heads in defeat. The crowd cheered, and you and your best friend high-fived and hugged. 

“I will request my prize later tonight,” She said to Jae, kissing him on the cheek. 

“And what do you want for yours,” jeno asked, looking at you. “A kiss?” 

“No. You can buy me coffee for a month,” you smiled. Chance at free coffee for a month. Imma take it. Hhehehe

“Fine,” He huffed. “Sure you don’t want a kiss with that?”

“I’m okay, thanks.”

You walk back into the house. You realize how much you drank and start to feel a little tired. You sit down on the couch, and Jeno follows. 

“You okay?” He asks. 

“I think I had a bit too much. But I'm okay.”

Then Haechan comes up and slumps down next to you, trying to give you another drink. Jeno shoots him a glare and takes the drink. 

“Don’t. No more for her tonight” He says, concern and sternness in his voice. Haechan nods and says sorry. Your heart fluttered again at Jeno’s words. 

Jisung walks up to you. 

“Do you need anything? A blanket? Food? Is it too loud? You can have your earbuds to listen to your playlist,” He says. What a caring boy. 

“No, I’m okay. Thank you, JiJi.” you smile at him. 

You spend the rest of the time watching your friends, talking and Laughing. Enjoying being with them. 

“How are you feeling? Ready to go home?”

Jeno asks, patting your head.

“Mm. Yea. I think I’m sobered up enough. Let’s go,” you say, standing up. 

You say goodbye to everyone, and you hop back on his bike. Your arms around him comfortably. This time, you keep your eyes open. The lights look pretty as you speed by. You look up and see the stars and the moon moving with you. It’s mesmerizing. You arrive at your house. He holds his hand out to help you off. He takes off your helmet and walks you to the front door. 

“Did you have fun?” He asks,

“I did, actually. A lot of fun. Thank you for inviting me.” You said,

“Thank you for coming. And supporting me. It means a lot to me.” He leans in and kisses your forehead.

Maybe it was the last bit of alcohol giving you courage, or maybe you were finally not overthinking things. But you kissed his lips without thinking. He froze a little. Surprised. Then his hands were on your waist, pulling you closer to his body, and the kiss deepened a little. His lips were soft. You pulled away. His face was full of shock.

“What was that for?” He asked.

“Part of your prize for winning the race. And you know, good luck for your drive home,” you said, trying to seem casual while your heart was beating up and out of your throat. 

“Ahh. Thank you. I hope I get those often.” He smiled.

“Maybe. You’ll have to find out. I’ll be expecting you with my coffee tomorrow.” 

“Yes, Ma’am.” 

you smiled and unlocked your front door. He doesn’t leave until you close it behind yourself. Maybe you’ll think less and just let things happen…

#nct #kpop #nct dream #nct imagines #fiction #nct scenarios #nct jeno #leejeno #lee jeno #nctau #nct fanfic #nct dream x reader #jeno x reader #jeno #jeno lee #jeno au

[reasonsforhope]

Your blog is a literal god send for me, I’ve been feeling so depressed, pessimistic, nihilistic and cynical at the state of the world right now and my fear of if I even have a future, but your blog is absolutely what I needed right now, so I can’t thank you enough. I’m just so happy to see someone who is hopeful and positive and not pessimistic, and it makes me legit want to cry tears of joy. How are you able to stay so positive and optimistic despite everything going on?

<3 <3 <3

As for how I stay optimistic and relatively positive? Lots of effort and hard work.

I'm not naturally an optimist. I spent most of my life (and certainly my adolescence lol) being pretty angry and cynical.

It's not that I never feel depressed or despairing about the state of the world. There's fucked up shit happening, indisputably, and hey, I'm trans, it's been a rough fucking year for that. But I guess I try to focus on the difference between passing moods and baseline worldview.

Some of the main ways I moved my baseline worldview to be optimistic and hopeful:

A lot of reading and looking at data and in-depth stories. The headlines never give you enough of the story - hell, most news articles don't these days, because they're so skewed toward negative news

Especially reading/looking at good news sites (I have a masterpost of good news sites here). There are good things happening everywhere that you never hear about. Mostly, you only ever hear about the good things when there's been a huge setback, which sucks!

I'm basically not on social media. Nothing except Tumblr, Facebook, and LinkedIn, and I only ever go on FB and linkedin briefly for business. It's fantastic, can't recommend ditching social media enough

I made sure I was doing something to help (aka I started this blog. I would also volunteer but my disabilities and a lot of logistics make that complicated)

My job involves reading a couple dozen self-help books a year lol, not gonna lie that def helps

Taking a long perspective of time. It often doesn't feel like it, but statistically, this really is the best time to be alive. (Here's a fantastic essay about many of the reasons why.) People really gloss over how much most of the past kinda fucking sucked to live in. 50% of all people used to die before their 15th birthday, for basically all of history until the past 200 years!! Imagine having to live with that. Imagine all of that pain and grief literally everywhere. I'm really happy about living in modern times, actually!

That last point is esp helpful to remember for me because I'm 100% for sure on the list of "people who would've died in childbirth" pre modern medicine (and my mom would've died having me, too). It was modern times or nothing lol

The vast majority of the world has spent the past 300 to 500 years being absolutely brutalized by white people and/or the West. There's still a lot of fallout to fix and colonialism to uproot, but I genuinely can't wait to see what people and nations will achieve with sustained self-rule and significantly fewer massive atrocities

Solarpunk and hopepunk stuff

I'm gonna make a whole post about this at some point but the fact that we eliminated scarcity in the past few decades actually changes the entire fucking game for the world (literally it's not a zero sum game anymore) and for the future. We're allowed a bit of a learning curve I think

I listen to the Rent soundtrack a lot and go "well you know what being trans right now sucks but being trans at the height of the aids crisis would've been way fucking worse" lol rip

Meds! Meds. Antidepressants and antianxiety meds unfortunately don't work for everyone (yet!), but also thank fuck for meds

Progress almost always happens in slow, tiny increments, with a lot of stops and starts and setbacks. You have to always remember that there are always people fighting somewhere, and if they're stopped, there will always be more people to pick up the fight in the future

#thesingingtennisball #ask #me #advice #hope #hope posting #hopeposting #not news #also tbh I highly recommend a basic understanding of statistics #and the ability to parse the basics of many academic papers #whenever I see a scary headline about some new study I check out the actual study and 90% of the time I end up going #“oh that's not that bad actually” #progress happens in tiny tiny i

[biceratops7]

Let’s deconstruct this…

Ok, so at this point I’ve seen a great many things written on Who Ed is with a capital W, and even I’ve thrown bits and pieces of my hat in the ring. But there is one particular thing I have a burning desire to express, and that is, respectfully, Edward’s softness is his own damnit.

There’s a pretty popular notion gaining traction in the fandom that Ed’s softness is just as much a performance as Blackbeard. That him embracing it fully in those brief moments of episode 10 before “the kraken” was unhealthy actually, and he wasn’t being true to himself. In summary: Ed requires Blackbeard to be whole. And my question is: why do people find Ed an unreliable narrator in his softness, or more specifically, why do people think he lacks autonomy of it?

It bothers me when people say that Ed is trying to be like Stede to gain approval in these moments, because the only major similarity I see is aesthetic. Guys a huge theme of the show is older queer men finally finding ways to escape varying forms of toxic masculinity, and understanding that their queerness does not exclude them from manhood. Homogenizing two effeminate gay men and implying that one is “losing himself” to the idiosyncrasies of the other goes directly against this goal. In fact it actually perpetuates negative gay stereotypes, but I’ve made a video essay where I discuss that at length.

Edward writes and performs a song on deck when he wants to process and share his feelings openly. Not only is this waaay more emotional honesty than we ever see Stede express (on purpose at least), but this is a creative outlet unique to Ed. Theatrical story telling is an established motif in Ed’s character the same way literary storytelling is for Stede’s. Edward’s not only dealing with his hurt in a way Stede definitely wouldn’t (he didn’t, Stede went out of his way pretend everything was fine in episode 8), he’s also doing so through an established passion of his.

The Swede wasn’t full of shit when he said that performance can simply be an expression of you. This is not Ed trying to put on a new mask when the old one proved ineffective. This is him finding comfort and even joy in finally using performance to reveal himself instead of hide. I don’t understand why the credit for this beautiful moment of self discovery must be ripped from Ed and used to accuse Stede.

It’s the same with the “SiLk GoWn”. This is the same person who lovingly touches every piece of nice fabric he lays eyes on, and lit up like a fucking Christmas tree the second someone said the word “fashion.” Ed has had a deep love and longing for such a soft pretty thing since day 1. These were ingrained and suppressed in Ed all long before Stede came on the scene. That robe may literally belong to Stede, but just as he wore it as a sign of his newfound boldness under the safety of someone loving him for who he is, Ed’s choice to wear it symbolizes the blossoming autonomy of his own identity. To continue enjoying the things Stede made him feel safe enjoying even without his presence.

Now let’s move on (or backwards I guess?) to the academy. Something I’ve seen a lot is people decrying that Ed is sacrificing his authenticity to play a housewife for Stede. Guys… he just folded some socks, calm tf down. Saying something like this about a gay man just trying to do something small and sweet for someone he loves, again, really seems to perpetuate the toxic masculinity this show hauls ass to deconstruct. Yes the answer to toxic masculinity isn’t just “effeminacy is perfect and good”. But Ed can be genuinely content with finally being able to partake in the domesticity he never got to experience without perpetuating that.

And you know what, he can be unsure of the best way to fulfill that desire and change his mind. I don’t quite like the disregard for Ed’s autonomy when people say his decision to stay at the academy or find an escape is driven only by whatever he thinks Stede wants. He is taking Stede’s feelings into consideration because that is perfectly healthy when you love someone and want a life with them, but his choices are still absolutely driven by his own needs moment by moment too.

I think people really take Ed understandably not wanting to be subjugated by the British and run with it. Like yes he is visibly uncomfortable with the soldiers treating him like an exotic animal they’ve tamed because no shit. But I don’t know how many times Ed has to blatantly state he does not want to be a pirate anymore for it to be believed.

Edward is not an exception to this. Even if he managed to thrive emotionally in this line of work once upon a time and there are aspects of it he enjoys, Ed still became a pirate out of desperation. He didn’t choose it any more than Oluwande and Jim did, he was fleeing poverty and abuse.

It’s not that piracy is a net bad and that Ed should want to distance himself from it. It’s that he assumed piracy is the only option he’s ever had in life even when it hurts him, and the realization that he has the freedom to choose differently is empowering and a net good. Him wanting to run to China with Stede, or take the crew’s funky acts on the road, whether they’re practical or not (especially in this show) is beside the point. The point is Ed’s absolute unbridled joy in their possibilities, the pure delight in discovering that you are not chained to a series of decisions you made under extreme duress 30 years ago.

No, Ed is not doing a complete 180 of his personality during his NoBeard era. He’s been forced to sacrifice his personhood for decades, and is now finally wrestling it out the grasp of thousands of people… at the age of 50 and during two of his darkest moments no less. How absolutely amazing.

#this is probably gonna flop cause it’s a mile long but I’m passionate about this damnit #it’s about autonomy over one’s own identity babes #ESPECIALLY in the context of queerness #biceratops meta #ofmd #meta #our flag means death #analysis #Edward teach #Blackbeard #Stede bonnet #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #1x09 #1x10

[pearl484-blog]

My main issue with senti-monsters

Alright, so first of all, this is not an essay about the senti-Adrien, senti-Felix, senti-Kagami, senti-Chloe or any other senti-person theories. There are a lot of complex theories and debates and discussions about the ethics and moral implications around it. 

No. This is an essay about missed potential surrounding senti-monsters, which is probably one of the least relevant things you’ll need to hear about it. This isn’t about poor execution or predicting where the show will go. It’s not about someone who did something right (well, not completely), or anything like that. In fact, I am veering far away from most of the usual senti-monster topics. So, if you’re hear to discuss humans born of senti-monsters or anything like that, this is not for you. Sorry.  

Now, first of all, I have opinions about the name senti-monster. Now, it’s not what you think. I’m not one of those people about to advocate for using senti-being here. No. I’m here because I want to ask: “Where are all the monsters?”

My introduction to the Peacock was a black eyed woman ripping a monstrous butterfly made of grief painfully out of Hawk Moth against his will. This thing was huge, massive, and scary. It’s design was creative and clearly reflected that this thing belonged to Hawk Moth, and he didn’t have any say in its creation whatsoever. 

My next few introductions were promising. A lolipop monster made out of a need for processed sugar from a baby, and I read that very well, and a simple monster made from hunger which was nearly impossible to defeat, which yeah, giant frog that’s basically a moving mouth. I can get behind that. 

But unfortunately, we also had Senti-bug, and that kinda derailed things. Now, don’t get me wrong. I love Senti-bug, and the moral implications behind her and her destruction are beautiful, and it raised the sentiment of “Good God, the Peacock’s ability to create life and take it away in the snap of their fingers is horrifying”, but alas, it set us down the path of human monsters, which is most decidely not monster-like. 

See, what I thought was going to happen was that the senti-monsters would be representative of deeply buried emotions, the dark, forbidden secrets that you shamefully keep locked up and hidden away for no one to find, and that their creations would be a very unpleasant experience for their hosts. 

The design team has proven with it’s design ideas to be more than capable of being up to the task. The akumas especially are amazing design wise. Most of them have a unique silhouette, are recognizable at a glance, and you can tell important character traits with them. (Except Vanisher who does not have a distinct character design and doesn’t even have their own episode). There are some pretty obvious flops, yes, but even those often have a reason. Some of these akumas do not look good at all, but usually there’s a reason behind it. Ie, Aspik’s hood is concealing his hair, reflecting his need to hide himself and a visual reference to Hawk Moth, Reflekta’s design is almost painful, but memorable, and the Bubbler reflects his childnessness of both his worldview and his influence, blowing bubbles. 

However, it was clear that akumas were begining to stagnate. It was obviously getting harder and harder to come up with realistic reasons why a character might lose their cool, and the loads and loads of characters was starting to become worrisome if the series wanted to keep up the momentum and focus on the characters they already had. 

The obvious solution, I believed, was making the Peacock target deeply buried emotions, setting up a one-two punch. Either you could become an akuma, losing yourself to your flaws in a moment that you lose control, or you could bury your feelings until they became strong enough to become a senti-monster, a living embodiment of a feeling you never wanted revealed. This would start a catch-22, either you deal with your emotions in a healthy way and resolve them, hopefully in a way where neither of you lose your cool, or you avoid it and it turns on you. 

This would begin to force people to move things very quickly or suffer the consequences. Long simmering grudges you know are stupid and pointless get brought to the surface. Deep fears come alive. Secrets you keep hidden from everyone come alive. It could also affect the heroes too, without completely incapicatating them. For example, Adrien’s hidden resentments could come to life, or Marinette’s crush may decide to confess regardless of her say so. Even better, you could take inspiration from Fu’s montster and make the host have a strong emotional reaction to them. From panic to anger to fear to hopelessness. It’s rife with drama.

Now, originally, the Peacock was meant to be used for good, so how would it work if they were heroic? Well, the same way Shadows work in the Persona series. Yes, each character rejects their shadows, but when they accept their Shadows, they become allies. Yet, when rejected Shadows are a problem. It’d be a case of Bad Powers, Good People, where the Peacock’s abilities are dark and creepy, but could be used for good, not just for combat, but for self-growth, and it’d absolutely deserve the moniker senti-monster.  

This would let us see the heroes deal with talking people down in their own ways, each with their strengths and weaknesses. Queen Bee could cut straight to the heart of the matter and tell you what’s going on, no frills, but that might also hurt people and she might have to learn how to stop being callous but still use her skill at dissecting people and seeing their flaws. Ladybug may be kind and compassionate, with a lot of people looking up to her, but she might have a tendency to miss the point. Rena Rouge may be confident and have an internal strength that allows for no bullsh*t, but she can also be pushy. Carapace may be calm and non-judgemental, but might need to work on pushing people out of their comfort zone. Chat Noir would be great at this, being that he is very naturally empathetic, and tends to understand what people are dealing with quickly, but he’s also conflict avoidant, and would be screwed if it happened to him. 

Plus, I’d be able to see monstrous representations of problems and each character needing to accept terrible parts of themselves or be afraid of others learning about it. And I’d get to see fan material that leans into monsters and that creative side a bit more. Like debates over what Alix’s monster would be or represent, or fan art of Rose’s sick looking unicorn design. 

#sentimonster #miraculous ladybug #miraculous lb #ml analysis #writing ideas #Analysis #self-indulgent #peacock

[whotookmysenbon]

You've mentioned wisteria and deathcaps so far, so I'm guessing you're more a fan of plant-based toxins than animal- and metal-based ones like what Suna uses. Do you have a favorite to work with?

Ohohoh. Finally, a good fucking ask. Yes! I use mostly plant and fungus based poisons rather than metallic animal sourced poisons. This is for a variety of reasons. I'll break it down by type. (Editing note, throwing this under a read more cut because I got carried away and wrote an essay. Ino says it's rude to clog people's feeds with unwanted ridiculously long posts.)

Metallic poisons.

These are rare in Konoha because of the elements needed to make these poisons. Suna uses them occasionally but mostly it's Iwa and Kumo that are known for their metallic poisons. I don't use them because they're almost impossible for a cloak and dagger assassin like myself to use reliably. I'd be better off just dumping a bucket of acid on someone. They take weeks or even months to show symptoms, but once it's there you aren't stopping it. Metallic poisoning is almost always a 100% fatality. Lead, Chromium, Arsenic, those are all used in infiltration assassinations. The long plan, make it look like an accident type. Although, there was a case in Suna a while back about the Kazekage's brother nearly being taken out by a fast acting Mercury based poison, so I guess there are exceptions. You have to be careful with that though, because it is impossible to build up a resistance to metallic poisons. There is no antidote, no cure other than ripping the poison from the body via either extreme dilution or a prodigiously skilled medical nin.

Animal sourced poisons and venoms

These actually used to be Konoha's calling card, in the second shinobi war. Our huge centipedes are still used for venom occasionally when we want to make an example out of someone and make it clear Konoha did this. There's a problem with them though. The lesser problem is most animal venoms and poisons, while extremely fast acting, are curable with an antivenom or antidote. Still, with how fast they work it's pretty easy to circumvent that. It's not like puff-adder or water cobra antivenoms are included in field kits. No, the real reason this is far more rarely used is because the last real animal sourced poisons expert was Orochimaru. He used poison in everything in the second shinobi war and it kinda became one of his signatures. Then he passed the mantle of venom specialist onto Anko (who still technically holds that title to this day but rarely uses it) and retired to work on his ninjutsu and medical studies and we alllllll know how that ended up. Long story short, venoms and animal based poisons like from frogs and whatnot are far, far more heavily regulated because of how Orochimaru used them (which is stupid, a weapon is a weapon, it bears no hold on the wielder) and a pain to get ahold of unless a mission specifically requests it. So despite Konoha's surplus of venomous giant insects and tree snakes and home to the whole poisonous insect division with the Aburame, we tend to shy away from those stuff. (Except in war time, in which anything goes and if the only thing I have to tip my senbon in is rubbing them on the backs of whatever brightly colored frog I find, I'm gonna use it.)

Plant based poisons:

My specialty! Plant and fungal poisons are many, and easy to misdiagnose. Really fucking easy. Oh you have a fever and some stomach pain? You think you have a cold SIKE IT WAS SHROOMS AND YOUR FUCKIN DEAD-

And! With the forest of death and Lord First's leftover chakra absolutely everywhere, Konoha is great for growing poisonous plants. I personally prefer hemlock and nightshade because they get the job done fairly quickly, and are easy to slip into food. But when I get to have a little more fun with the target... Datura is hilarious, especially when mixed with wisteria. Because what's more fun than killing some asshole in cold blood, when you can make that same asshole wander in circles for three hours screeching at hallucinations and shitting himself and then choking on his own blood. Anyways. There's my little expose. Oh! Chakra poisons are also a thing, but nobody knows what the fuck they are or how to counter them really. Mostly the Aburame are familiar with them and hate them because it kills their freaky bugs.

#genma shiranui #anbu genma shiranui #poisons! Yay! #This is the reason I don't teach genin #there is zero room for error until they've demonstrated their capable of basic things #like not getting themselves killed by overdosing when they should be building their immunities #Or stealing bites of my food only to end up needing CPR because I like yew and hemlock greens #not my fault you've yet to finish building your resistance but you really should be able to recognize these by now #also #I point blank refuse to teach kids assassination techniques unlike SOME people (kakashi) #So while I might be good with kids to a degree #and a decent teacher #My skillset is just not meant for genin to learn

[aimzicr]

Okay I saw Last Voyage of the Demeter! I have thoughts. As someone who spent three years essaying about Dracula, as a fan and student of literature-to-film adaptations/transformations, and just as a reader and listener of Daily Dracula and Re: Dracula, I have thoughts. Mild spoilers below the cut, but nothing that would ruin the experience completely if you haven't seen/can't see it.

But please be aware: Dracula DOES go about in his Lizard Fashion™.

I wasn't expecting a one-to-one transformation of the Demeter's Log to make it on screen. After all, the story of men being silently hunted until all are dead makes for a great dread-inducing setpiece for Stoker's novel, but not so much for a standalone film. I did enjoy seeing how the story took the 'based on' as far as they could before they started stretching it.

I did have a quiet laugh as the first title-card almost seemed to suggest this was REAL and TRUE EVENTS for a second. Way to get me engaged and reference the epistolary nature of the original novel.

But yes, the story does get turned into a bit of a Last Girl Horror Movie, because they see and know there's something wrong and they're actively fighting against it, even as they get picked off one by one. An interesting take, a pretty damn good method of turning a bleak setpiece into a proper standalone story.

Dot points to follow, before I forget:

The opening with the wagons moving through the countryside was breathtakingly beautiful

(I couldn't help but think 'oh they're wearing the same hats my good friend Jonathan Harker wrote about')

The captain's log being read aloud, word for word, in quieter moments was very very good. (And, of course, by this point I know it word-for-word, so picking up on the small tweaks was quite a delight).

I enjoyed hearing the familiar names as we're introduced to the crew.

The captain's decision to retire and pass the ship on does make me reconsider the mate's stoic nature in the story as a man dedicated to his duty, rather than just an antisocial asshole. Always nice to consider things from a new angle.

Chekov's Black Dog (kind of a missed opportunity to not show Dracula using a mockery of Huck to escape, but this wasn't a one-to-one transformation of texts as I said; also no reference to a black dog being an omen of death? Missed opportunity.)

Dracula being the only one on the ship being allowed to eat meat, just a glimpse of his hypocrisy and tyranny

(Though I'm not a huge fan of modern vampires being depicted as messy eaters, Netflix's Castlevania etc: just DRINK THE BLOOD stop biting people and letting them BLEED EVERYWHERE, did your mother not teach you dining etiquette???)

"Can this disease be passed to people?" "No. Not without a bite" very cute.

The initial reveal of the face in the spyglass FUCK that was terrifying.

Considering inwardly 'why he look like that? We know he was an aristocrat when he left his castle -- wait, hang on, is this what happens when vampires get seasick? When they cross running water? They stop wearing clothes and go feral?' before I turned off my brain and stopped thinking about Seasick Naked Count Dracula

They really did need to add this new character, because the audience and the crew both needed the context and information. Otherwise, how could the crew fight back? RIP to canon, I guess, (but look at it this way: once Mina starts putting all the letters together, she gives Hellsing and the others the necessary information to kill Dracula, so... not too much of a reach?)

But Dracula, sir, bringing along a snack for the road and it ISN'T our friend Jonathan Harker?

The subtle reveal-and-conceal in the early parts of the voyage of Dracula's face and form was well done and genuinely terrifying. Just the parts where you look away for just a second and he's gone? Fuck.

"No, please! D:" "No, please~ :3"

HE'S GOING ABOUT IN HIS LIZARD FASHION AGAIN. THAT BOY AIN'T RIGHT.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Not your friend, that's for sure. (Dracula stealing this is Fucked Up, in the best way. He takes EVERYTHING from you! :) )

Vampirism as possession is an excellent way to recontextualise its parasitic history/links

Where's that tumblr post about how you can tell what a good horror film is? 'This movie's great, a kid DIES in it!'

Seeing the cloth move a second before the captain says 'I saw him move' but doubting myself. I didn't see that, right? It was just the wind. Right?

Oh. It wasn't the wind.

Men of Strength overpowered, Men of Faith made to doubt, Men of Reason rattled by answers that make no sense, and the Innocent hunted down. Dracula as a force of Pure Terror that tests one's character (and then eats, because he's a boyar and he dines on the cattle of his choosing)

Did he just slam this guy down so hard his BRAIN popped out of his skull, holy shit

'In my country, there's no-one else for him to feed on' what, do people go stale after a few bites? Dracula's a picky eater?

'He's rationing' puts the journey into even greater context. A chilling sentence in the film and in the broader understanding of the Demeter's place in the novel.

a Cool Plan to Survive The Monster is very action-movie, but I knew it wouldn't work (sorry, sometimes the spoilers/pre-knowledge ruin things)

'This is my home.' Augh. 'I'll do it.' AUGH.

The slow creeping fog rising up (like hands? like an embrace?) in the final hours was CHEF'S KISS. Beautiful effect

(Also loved the effect of the wind from His Wings displacing the fog, too. Even if you don't see him, you can see where he's been)

"What's going on?" "He knows." Oh. Well. Fuck.

The Last Voyage of the Demeter isn't told from the Captain's perspective, so much of the man's nobility and sacrifice in the name of duty is lost (even to the point that his iconic death pose is capital-m Mocked by The Dracula (almost like the old BAsTard was like 'I know you've read Stoker's book but I'm here to fuck with you, dear audience'). The Captain isn't the Final Girl in this horror movie, but they do give him a proper end as far as the film goes, even if he does get a lot more rattled and shaken than his log might suggest

There's also a sense of blurred intertextuality in vampire lore here, because they drew heavily on the Hammer Films/Buffy The Vampire Slayer context of 'vampires burning in sunlight'. Not truly Stoker's Dracula...

... then again, Dracula has a very particular Design, and is credited in the crawl as 'Dracula/Nosferatu'. He was for sure Count Orlock, rather than Dracula.

Knock Knock. I'm here watching you :3

That brief touch from Dracula as he leaves the bar was - fuck, it was a split second to make a poor man flinch, but in that brief touch was the playful terror of a tyrant: I own you, I don't fear you, you can't stop me, I control you. Nothing you said to me on the Demeter had any effect on me and you are just meat. Ta ta, darling~

The movie ending with a new survivor, the potential for a new vampire hunter, was very good. Instead of the Log of the Demeter ending in bleak despair and all hands lost, instead we have a man galvanised and ready to fight against evil, even if he has to do it alone.

Music kicked ass. Very raw, very primal, very Gothic Victoriana

Lots of fun! It felt a little like they were setting up for an Extended Dracula Universe (I hope I'm misinterpreting) but I did like how Getting To Live after a traumatic experience leads to 'Fuck this guy, he's not getting away with this in the future'. Like I said before, we wanted the monster back so we could kill it, so I appreciate that's the vibe they went with for LVotD. A little bleak? Sure. But the fact that people are willing to keep fighting, even in the direst circumstances with the odds against them? That's what we need. That's what it's all about.

#last voyage of the demeter #dracula #dracula daily #re: dracula #introspective #thoughts #mild spoilers #I love me some

[souryogurt64]

i mean no disrespect by this but if you're concerned about things being taken down or privated wouldn't it make more sense to archive all your references before putting them in your essays and then just link to the archived pages? no need to worry about broken links or private/redacted articles then

Ok the post I just made in a fit of rage and then deleted was about videos of a band called The Films performing live. Jake Sinclair was in The Films and Butch Walker was their producer. Both of them are very involved with FOB and Panic. I had listened to and loved The Films for years without knowing that because Joey Armstrong was really into them. Literally no one on Earth listened to The Films and they had like 10k listeners on Spotify and I wrote an essay basically saying they were really good. The videos of the Films performing that I linked in the essay have since been taken down.

When I was writing these it did not ever cross my mind that all of these middle aged men in the Fall Out Boy / Panic at The Disco Cinematic Universe who presumably have jobs and families and a million dollars would hear about these and get so embarrassed over them they would feel the need to start setting things that have been on the Internet for 15+ years on fire. Like sorry. The thought never occurred to me

There are also hundreds, if not thousands, of sources linked in my essays and it takes hours to archive every one because the Wayback Machine is slow as fuck. Even if you save a YouTube URL in the Wayback Machine, it does not save the video so you have to manually download it. Sites like MTV also have a lot in place to prevent people from ripping videos or saving URLs. Also unlike these middle aged men apparently I have a job and hobbies and cannot be like the crypt keeper of every video and news article to ever exist.

Also, the place that owns the Wayback Machine is currently getting sued, so who knows if the Wayback Machine will even exist in a few years.

Also like. It’s not just about being able to access the content. It’s about the PRINCIPLE of FOB taking down scans of a hugely circulated major interview from 2013 and then presumably working with the interviewer and Alt Press to literally edit quotes because of an otherwise extremely positive written work by a fan. Like it’s about the principle

[rosies-den]

20 things I love about Ash Lynx. 🌅❤️‍🔥🦁🎂🎉

It's the 12th of August.

Ya know what that means?

It's a big huge loving Happy Birthday to our Ash!!!!!

For his birthday, I wanted to write something, so here's a very appreciative appreciation post for my favourite character of all time.

Here's just 20 reasons I love him with all my heart and soul.

1. His birth name. Aslan Jade Callenreese. His mum (or maybe just Yoshida being Yoshida) even made up "Aslan" to mean dawn/daybreak in hebrew when it actually means lion in turkish. However I like to interperet that, similar to a lion's mane, the sun shimmers with a golden light, and that's what his old lady meant when she named him Aslan to supposedly mean dawn.

2. His hair is also golden and reminds me of a lion's mane! And it's long. I love men with long hair!

3. His inner child. Ash has always been childish at heart and his most treasured memories are his childhood with Griffin. I love that as he opens up to Eiji, he starts showing his childish side more and more too.

4. His fear of pumpkins 🤭 mf is scared of a vegetable for christ sake!!! What a goofy thing to be afraid of. Cute though.

5. His jokes. Shit like telling Eiji to go watch Sesame Street, or being given an inkblot test at the hospital, the researcher asking what the inkblot sheet looks like, and he responds "Your wife". Countless examples of this cheeky fucker's one liners!

6. Speaking of which, that attitude he has. He's brutally honest, never backs down, says it like it is, and is unfiltered. He's smart whilst cutting the bullshit.

7. He knows how to lead, he sets goals clearly and he's strong and unwavering whilst not being outright cruel.

8. His fiery energy, especially being a Leo (more lion theming hehe) he's sucha a passionate person and that's a trait I both relate to and admire.

9. He remains loyal to his friends, through thick and thin, and even tries to understand people he has a bias against (Max for example, before they became like father and son.)

10. Despite being a gang leader, he does genuinely care for human life and doesn't like people dying for no good reason. Man's got morals.

11. His perseverance. Despite the cruel world trying to tear him apart time and time again in every possible way, he carried on with his investigation and his fight because he knew it was the right thing.

12. His intelligence! The dude can write advanced essays on politics and science and he does so for actual useful research reasons, not just to be a smartass.

13. He's the kind of person who drinks milk straight out of the jug. No, seriously. Look at this:

Absolute madlad.

14. His fashion sense! I love his denim jackets, his hoodies, his ripped jeans, even that plain boring ass white shirt he loves to wear so much!

15. He agrees with me that beans are fucking gross. I don't blame him at all for being so petty about natto!

16. He's canonically bisexual. (This isn't debatable, his two canon crushes are Eiji and a girl he liked when he was 14. If you insist he's gay or straight you can get your biphobic ass outta here.) It means a lot to me as a bi person to have that sort of representation, plus it explains a lot of things, like the aforementioned hoodies and denim jackets (big same!).

17. He's the kinda guy who sits to read a good book. I'm kinda envious of his habit to read things that aren't just from a screen, but I also really want him to read to me. Storytelling podcast with Ash Lynx anyone?

18. His relationship with Eiji. They bring out the best in each other. Eiji helps Ash open up and express the emotions, good and bad, within him, whilst Ash inspires and helps out Eiji to get stronger, more independent, and more confident in himself and his abilities. Easily my favourite relationship of all time. They compliment each other perfectly and are so lucky to have each other.

19. His kindness and protectiveness towards children. He of course had a lot of respect and fondness towards Skip, and inspired Max and Jessica to become better parents to little Michael. He knows how vulnerable kids can be, and wants to protect them from violence and abuse. I love that he refuses to let these vicious cycles of parental neglect and child abuse continue.

20. His ability to love beyond all else. Love is what motivated him to save his friends and allies, take revenge for his brother and others he lost, and protect people from atrocities. Despite everything he went through Ash was, is and always will be that loving playful, childish at heart boy who cares for his loved ones beyond all comprehension. His love for Eiji and his friends expands beyond the universe.

And that folks, is just 20 reasons why I love Ash from the deepest part of my spirit. He has inspired me in so many ways that I cannot even begin to go into right now, but just know thar he is an absolutely incredible character with such an important impact.

Thank you, Aslan. I love you so so much and I hope you have an amazing day in Japan with your husband. 💕💖💞💗

#banana fish #ash lynx #aslan callenreese #aslan jade callenreese #asheiji #my man #my boy #my husband #THE guy #the birthday boy #my favourite person #the one who sets fire to my heart and soul #the character I would do anything for #*insert a million billion trillion other positive connotations here*

[siriusblack-the-third]

Boredom, Flustration and Love Confessions part 1

Hdjdjd my very first non- Percy Jackson fic djsgdkd i hope you like this little drabble

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

It starts like this:

Sirius is bored.

A bored Sirius, James knows, is never a good thing, because the boy will whine in James' ear and poke him in the ribs or bite his shoulder or tug on the fringe on the back of his head that's a bit longer than the rest of his hair (he had a munj ceremony when he was eight and he still keeps the evidence at sixteen) till James is sighing and giving in to Sirius' demands of chaos.

And honestly, James is way too fond of Sirius to be even remotely annoyed by his antics. Also doesn't hurt that he thrives off of chaos just as much as the other boy does.

However, there are times when Sirius doesn't bother to wheedle James into causing mischief, and simply goes off to do it on his own. On those days, he is dead set on giving James a heart attack.

Days like today.

It's a beautiful Saturday, really— the sky isn't too blue but it isn't cloudy either, and the breeze is just this side of cold. Perfect for Quidditch. James is sitting in his favourite seat in the Gryffindor common room, where he is far enough away from the fire that his skin isn't burning and he can stare at the Quidditch pitch through the open window. He and Remus are getting their homework over with between the exchange of sarcastic barbs, prank ideas and wicked smiles. Peter is off at detention and Sirius... come to think of it, where is Sirius?

The Fat Lady's portrait opens, but James doesn't look; he turns to Remus with the question of Sirius on the tip of his tongue, but is cut off by the werewolf lifting his head up and catching sight of someone.

"Oi, Pads," Remus hollers, "fuck've ya been?"

James whips his head up and grins widely at his best mate, who is sauntering up to them with a lazy smirk and an effortless elegance to his long limbs that James never figured out how to imitate. His grey eyes harbour that perpetual devilish gleam that is unique to Sirius, and James' gaze catches on the few stray waves of pitch black hair that are slipping out of his bun. Sirius walks close enough to get a ray of sunshine across his face, and silver glitters at his ears.

See, here's the thing: Sirius has piercings. A fuckton of piercings, ranging from the generic lobe piercings to the playful helix to the risque belly button to the roguish eyebrow to a downright sinful industrial. In total, he has nine piercings, compared to James' simple lobe piercings that his parents got done when he was a baby. Sirius also has a huge collection of earrings and ear cuffs, and he is never seen without at least four accessories in. Today, he's wearing all of them.

James resolutely keeps his eyes away from that attention-grabbing jewellery.

"Cheers, Padfoot," he chirps, and Sirius chuckles as he plops down next to him, lifting a hand to ruffle James' hair. The younger boy squawks and swats at his hand, making Sirius and Remus snicker.

"Alright Moons, Jamie?" he nods at the both of them, leaning back and spreading his legs so that his left one is thrown across James lap. The black ripped denim jeans stretch obscenely across his thick thighs, but James keeps his smile on his face.

"Just the Arithmancy essay," he answers, but keeps his quill down and drops his head onto Sirius' shoulders. "The one about the compression of space-time in Apparition. Where have you been?"

"Oh y'know," Sirius shrugs, and James shifts back to follow the line of his broad, leather-clad shoulders before he catches himself and looks away, heat crawling up his cheeks. "Getting a piercing."

Oh, no.

James notices Remus perk up out of the corner of his eye (the lad has his own impressive collection of piercings) but he is more invested in scanning Sirius' ears for the new addition. A second later, he frowns; all the piercings are old ones.

"Where is it?" he asks, curious. (The poor boy forgets– curiosity killed the cat.)

Sirius' grey eyes flicker with mischief, and James is given barely a second to register the foreboding feeling that suddenly fills his guts before his best friend is sticking out his tongue, a sly tilt to his lips. A flash of silver hits James' eyes.

"Holy shit!" Remus crows, and Sirius laughs, but James' mouth has gone dry. He stares at that tongue, at the sneak peeks of the metal ball he gets when Sirius starts a rapid-fire conversation with Remus, gaze drawn to the full, pale pink lips as they curl around words that James cannot be bothered to listen to.

Oh, fuck.

A tongue piercing.

Sirius has a tongue piercing.

Fuck.

#the marauders #james potter #harry potter marauders era #harry potter marauders #marauders era #prongsfoot #james x sirius #sirius black #marauders fic #ficlet #marauders drabble #remus lupin #sirius black has a fuckton of piercings #and james can't handle it #prongsfoot fic #sirius x james #indian james potter #desi james potter #amrut writes

[unproduciblesmackdown]

more from the 2011 "the bus" kickstarter's updates via james lantz:

2. We're designing and building our set. We're so lucky to have Michael Schweikardt designing our set. Our director, John Simpkins, and Michael have been working together for years, so it's great to have this team behind The Bus. To give you some idea of some of the talent behind our show, The Wall Street Journal recently said of Michael's set for the acclaimed Goodspeed Musical's production of Showboat, "Michael Schweikardt's compact yet rich-looking sets deserve a prize for sheer ingenuity." Michael is definitely bringing some of that ingenuity to our show at 59E59 -- check out the photo essay below of our work-in-progress set for The Bus. Pictured are our Vermont artisans, John Maurier of Champlain Metals who is building the platform structure, and Mark Dabelstein, our set builder (who worked outside in the rain today ripping out an old gas pump!) 

I have to be quiet right now because I'm preparing this update in the middle of rehearsal so that's why I'm typing lightly (tap, tap, tap...) but I couldn't wait because I really wanted to share an idea with you.... [...] ps. This is my view of rehearsal right now (plus 2 other pics from rehearsal)

Last night I was walking from the rehearsal studio to grab a bite to eat and I passed by our soon-to-be home, 59E59 Theaters -- and there, in front of the theater, was a postcard kiosk with the brand new postcards for The Bus loaded and ready for people to pick up.  Suddenly feels like we're official! (In a couple of days, I can't wait for our two actors, Will and Bryan to see their faces on a HUGE 10' poster in the theater windows!)  [...] You're becoming a topic of conversation, too! New Yorkers are interested in how we crowd-funded our entire play. One industry guy told me, "Look, I'm used to dealing with a handful of wealthy investors to put on my plays -- but 450 people, some who've donated less than $10 -- never heard of that before!" We also got a call from a publicist who inquired about the possibility of a reporter following us to Topeka to write about a crowd-funded play on the road. We'll be sure and keep you posted. Oh, and Thank You to our backers who wrote personal notes to some key press and industry folks -- we were able to get about 55 hand-written notes to some of the most influential theater folk in the city. Thank you!

Okay, so we're minutes away from our first NYC performance and we're sold out! I don't have much time so I'm sending you a photo essay of our first couple of days here at 59E59 that should tell you what we've been up to and, in a small way, let you know that we wish you were here. This is, after all, your show too!

Our last show at 59E59 Theaters was this afternoon -- lots of tears, hugs and a standing ovation. A nice way to end our run at one of the best Off Broadway venues in New York City (Thank you for having us 59E59! We loved being at your theater!). So we loaded up the truck, said our goodbyes to our cast and crew (until December) and soon, we'll be Vermont-bound with our set, costumes and an old Texaco gas pump. Now it's time to turn our sights toward Kansas where we'll be taking our show in December (in our next post, we'll give you more details about our forthcoming performance). In the meantime, we're pretty exhausted here. We'll leave you with some pictures of our load-out and one last shot of us standing in front of 59E59 Theaters.  Oh, one more thought -- there wasn't a single show that YOU weren't present -- you were in the program, on our website, and on our mind every time The Bus took to the stage in NYC. We're not done yet -- we still have our backer rewards to get to you (I'm so sorry for the delay; producing our show has been a much bigger and time-consuming task than I had expected!) and we've got our show in Kansas to produce, too -- but we just cleared a big hurdle and now seems like a good time to say, 'We couldn't have done it without you! Thank you!' 

During the shows I stood in the back of the theater and watched as The Bus unfolded for some of the most attentive audiences we've ever played for. The cast felt it, too -- one of our actors, Bryan Fitzgerald, said that, 'Like no other time, he felt every eye focused on the show like a laser.' It was fascinating to listen to our audiences, too -- what they laughed at, when they were quiet, and when a few of them audibly gasped. Some jokes in the script that never got a response in New York, got hearty and sustained laughter from our generous folks in Kansas. At the end of every show our cast received standing ovations -- lots of tears, smiles and people saying how much they appreciated us bringing the show to their state. We were so moved. 

Nate Phelps, Steph Mott (KEC) and the cast doing a talk back following a performance at The Blue Planet Cafe.

Bryan Fitzgerald, Will Roland and Travis Mitchell during a talkback.

l. to r. Bryan Fitzgerald, Steph Mott (Kansas Equality), Nate Phelps, Jim Lantz, Shepherd Michael, Travis Mitchell, Will Roland, Julia Lawler, Bob Nuner, Kerry McGann and Josh Wright. (not pictured: our incredible director John Simpkins)

Loading the set into MCC Church, Topeka. / Prepping set and sound at MCC Church.

#long post ish #hey beautiful #will roland

[queatherine]

my thoughts on the new td episodes (5-6) as i procrastinate on my essay WOOOO (spoilers below the cut):

dude i never knew how much i needed to see horses on water skis until errr like an hour ago

girlies (ripaxel) can we stop making out all the time pretty please ive been fairly neutral on them but if theyre gotta get post-island-gidgette'd then mmmmmm idk

BOWIE AHHHHHHHH i love bowie so much and i love that he was sooo worried about his relationship with raj and and and AHHHHHH eliminated is so sad :( like i said with the previous batch of episodes,, but i really do wish that these seasons were just a tad longer because i really would've loved to see more with rajbow and bowie having to regain raj's trust and mending that part of their relationship over multiple episodes,,, BUT WHAT WE GOT IS STILL GREAT !!!

this is just a me thing (and maybe an aroace thing idk), but i cannot handle blatant flirting like what we see with priya and caleb. idk im kinda romance repulsed irl and its 50/50 when i watch shows or movies (i have to actively and consciously like the ship),, and maybe i just dont like priya and caleb as a ship sdbfhsbdfhsbf im an ace lesbian priya and aroace caleb truther actually

but going of that ZEE OMG I LOVE ZEE i am a huge fan of getting the dumbest of asses to have to keep a secret (tyler in tdwt fr fr) and and and like hes such a good friend to priya about it like he is genuinely concerned about caleb using her LIKE OMG i love him silliest and most realest guy ever

also also with zee i will admit that i fully thought that hed be an early boot like 2nd or 3rd and i was very scared for my guy, but AHHHHHHH thank goodness he is here

DAMIEN SLAYING IS EVERYTHING I KNOW THAT EVERYONE AGREES I WANT HIM TO WIN FR

im waiting for the day raj and wayne are fully seperated,, meaning i think wayne is going to get voted off before raj and i will be ready for that angst of raj losing his boyfriend and best friend (omg what if wayne gets voted off literally the next episode ID CRY)

rip nichelle id hire you (im a broke college student)

siiiiigh anyway back to my godforsaken essay

#td spoilers #total drama spoilers #total drama #total drama 2023 #someone gave me a microphone

[sunshineler]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers (ू•‧̫•ू⑅)♡

this is so fun and cool! I’m going to be as hyper niche and specific as I can be lol

1. The head rush you get when you take a huge bong rip and hold it in for as long as you can before you exhale. It doesn’t actually get you more high but the lightheaded feeling is fun in safe and small doses and I like the sense of calm

2. The first proper look you get at your new tattoo. Not the one that happens immediately, when everything is still vaguely damp and stinging and a touch puffy and red from blood, but a few days later, when you see what it’ll really look like on you forever

3. The sneaky, happy feeling you get when you successfully pull off a little white lie for a good reason

Where did I go? Out for gas (to arrange your birthday present).

What do I want to do today? Run some errands (I’m going to surprise you with a date later tonight)

Who am I doing this for? Me, because I want to learn about your interests (you, because you always look so happy telling me)

4. When I get to wake up to see 20+ messages from my best friend overnight. It’s like reading the morning newspaper tailored specifically to me and I start those days feeling very cared about and thought of

5. Niche YouTube video essays. I love seeing passion and creativity and heavy analysis given to more than just mainstream media and/or ‘the classics’. It’s fun and I listen to them constantly about the most wildly specific topics

#rae answers #thank you so much!! #fluffyllamacorn