Bump's remark about the coven scouts being taken down by a bunch of teenagers made me realize:
Graye would've gotten away with it, if it hadn't been for those meddling kids
and their dog
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“Velma is a lesbian in this new Scooby Doo”
I don’t know how to tell you this, but she’s been a lesbian in every single Scooby Doo ever made
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Because of the Velma show, a lot of people's pitches for a new adult Scooby Doo have Fred coming from a richer, upper-class family. Now, I know that comes from Fred being Mayor Jones's adopted/kidnapped son in Mystery Inc, but we're totally missing a goldmine here.
Fred isn't like Daphne. He doesn't come from a rich family more often than not. In fact, Fred's family history is so strange and convoluted from reboots, off-hand mentions, plot twists, and straight-to-DVD movies that Fred is related to more people than my mom knows people at random restaurants.
The goldmine is that we don't know the truth about Fred's family or parents. Are they the cruise-loving Skip and Peggy Jones from "Scooby-Doo! Pirates Ahoy!"? What about the dangerous Brad Chiles and Judy Reeves of the original Mystery Incorporated? Or what about Mayor Fred Jones Sr?! It's not that last one, but the gist is we don't know who Fred's parents actually are. Fred doesn't know who his parents actually are. You look up "Fred Jones parents" on Google, and THE TOP RESULT IS FREDDIE SHRUGGING IN THE CONFUSION AND HORROR OF IT ALL!
Nobody knows where Fred came from- not even Fred- and maybe that's how it should be...
All these obscure family members and the 5+ potential parents from his overlapping stories... the elaborate traps and random knowledge explained away offhandedly by his shady past... that perfectly happy, preppy attitude untouched by the greed of 1970s capitalists and ghouls... the ascot!
These all lead me to believe that Fred has no parents, rich or otherwise. Fred Jones is a [teenageyoungadultcollegiate] man who awoke one day from nothing, a new consciousness born of the universe, with nothing but a love of learning, a passion for solving mysteries, and a fucking groovy van to help him survive. From there, our dear Freddie made a family for himself, by traveling the world in his van, meeting new people, and picking up the weirdest interests and hobbies.
While the other members of the gang all have families and homes to go back to, Freddie has the mystery machine. That is his home, and his family are the friends he makes along the way- including Daphne, Velma, Shaggy, and Scooby. Amen.
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I was NOT prepared for General Grievous to jump down with a "Hello there" to Obi Wan in the Clone Wars, the original meme just got 10000% funnier. And Obi-Wan remembering some encounter from like 3 years ago and being able to reference it and mock Grievous mid-fight is so ridiculously in character. Yall be mocking Anakin for being dramatic but you forget who his big brother is.
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I had a thought about Spy x Family that I'm not sure either people have ever considered or are ready to accept.
It's the perfect franchise with which to do a crossover with Scooby-Doo. I'm dead serious.
Consider. Mystery Inc. takes a vacation to Ostania because that's just how you do when you're white teenagers in the 60's. They meet the Forgers by happenstance around the time they hear a story about an utterly haunted downtown area. It's actually a part of town that is a nest of secret police and would be terrorist activity. But because they hear ghosts, they're like "Well, gang! Looks like we got another mystery on our hands!"
And from there it's Spy x Family humor and Scooby humor weaving together like the perfect tapestry.
Velma leads the investigation and Mr. Magoo's her way past so many secret police and spies.
Daphne and Yor beat up a room full of mooks together.
Loid is chasing after a target, almost loses them, but then the target gets stuck in one of Fred's Rube Goldberg traps.
Yuri gets dangerously close to catching Loid or Yor in the act, but is waylayed by Shaggy in an extended barbershop skit.
And of course Anya gets into shenanigans with Scooby and Bond.
By the end of it, one or more characters just look at the gang and all their bullshit and go "Who the hell are you!?"
And they go, "According to popular opinion? Just some meddling kids and their dog."
Oh, also whenever anyone asks them about Scooby, they say "That's just how dogs are across the pond."
Also, also the Gang believes every cover story the Forgers give them because of course they do. The Forgers aren't dressing up as ghosts or ghouls to scare people. What reason would they have to lie about anything?
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