#seek a goddamn therapist

[genevievemd]

—

#some of yall need to go touch grass #seek a goddamn therapist #and look on the fucking mirror #the delulu and hypocrisy

[ding-dongie-dami]

It's 2023, wtf am I doing, trying to sort out my mom's mommy issues while she has caused me to have worse mommy issues????

#vent #katie yells into the void #man I am tired of this #i have recently realized how mommy issues have affected every aspect of my life #will be seeking out a therapist before I lose my goddamn mind #ah yes ✨️generational trauma✨️ #just doing silly girly things as I do :P

[wyn-n-tonic]

If you are bad to people experiencing mental health crises, I hope you experience nasal congestion for life. May you never know the sweet relief of a breath of fresh air ever again.

#and when you seek help from a respiratory therapist i hope you get my sister and i hope she leaves her ethics at the goddamn door

[chillyneon]

I like that the ficto and selfship community has only continued to grow since ye olde days of internet.

I remember that fictosexual wasn't even a major term, so there wasn't much of a way to look for others. Hell I remember getting dogpiled a couple times for using the term because people assumed it was attention seeking. So I couldn't use the term and find any actual results for many years.

We all just kinda stood around thinking we were the only people like this, and maybe there's something severely wrong because no one else feels this way. Hell, even when asking my therapists they thought self shipping sounded like a wonderful thing for me and coping with trauma or stress. So being unable to find others like me was so frustrating because I just wanted to know I wasn't fuckin alone in my passion for fiction.

That was like, 20 years ago, the Internet has exploded since then. And now look, the community has grown so much, selfshipping is more common enough we can actually find content on a tag filled to the brim. We can fucking TALK about self shipping and being ficto and attracted to fictional characters. Hell, just able to say I'm fictosexual feels nicer than it did years back. Is everything perfect for us? No, people can still be douches and say mean things, but we have far more folks doing their best to spread the fun things about being ficto and self shipping.

It makes me smile that I can type in ficto or selfship and be witness to the gorgeous menagerie of people loving their F/Os or folks saying their fav things about self shipping. To see people going feral over their loves and gushing about every detail. Seeing folks finding themselves and exploring their ficto feelings, seeing people create things because they love their F/Os so goddamn much. It just makes me happy to see it. Things aren't perfect, but I'm glad we're all able to find that we're not alone.

You're not alone or weird for loving fictional characters, there's plenty more of us out there and you don't have to stop when you get older. It's not just a phase for many, it's how we are and how we love and you don't have to grow out of it. I'm in my goddamn 30s and the only thing that's changed about my selfshipping is I got even more F/Os to love from the past few decades.

It's just nice to be ficto knowing others are also out their loving and selfshipping with fictional favs. <333333

#selfship #self ship #selfshipping #self shipping #selfshipping positivity #reader insert #self insert #fictional other #ficto #fictosexual #s/i x f/o #SELFSHIPPING IS SO GREAT PLEASE AND THANK YOU #fictosexuality

[codfanficedits]

One fucking mistake - Part five

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x fem!Reader.

Summary: Simon lost you after making a mistake on a mission.

Wordcount: 1025 | Rating: E (18+ only!)

Warnings: cussing, swearing, grieving, angst with no comfort, conversation, blaming, funeral, therapist.

A/N: Part four!

Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ AO3 Link

It is the worst day of Simon’s life. The flowers, the suit he is wearing, the people surrounding them. He had dreamed of the day this would happen, but you wouldn’t be gone, you’d be getting ready to marry him, and by God, every time he thinks his heart is ripped out of his chest, the claws of life dig deeper and rip out the remaining pieces of his love. And he catches himself looking for you, even though he knows you won’t arrive.

But his love for you is still inside of him, and he carries you wherever he goes.

Simon knows he has to speak, his final act of love towards you. You deserve it, even though your body is not here, you deserve to get a proper burial. But it’s hard, too hard. The worst part of that love is that he remembers it, walking around everyday thinking that he is going to die in the universe that you loved him in.

He clears his throat, heads snapping into his direction as he tries to brace himself. It’s easier to treat this as a mission. Saying what he needs to say, keep his voice from breaking and getting out.

His eyes shift to the empty casket on the left, and without his permission his vision starts to get blurry and his goddamn heart starts to ache again. God, God, God. How he wished the two of you could’ve met as kids, because he knew you would’ve loved the softer version of him.

Simon looks down at the paper before him, the little speech he wrote to honour you, but he can’t read it through his tears, so he has to speak the words from his heart.

“Since you happened, I’ve never been the same.” Off to a great start.

“I don’t know what’s more tragic, that I keep looking for you wherever I go. Or that you’re never there, and I promise you, someday, somewhere, we’ll be together again.” Fuck, he can’t keep his voice from breaking.

“Whiskey was easier to swallow than the fact that you aren’t coming back.” He is becoming a mess, for all to see. His feelings on display as if it were in a museum. “I’ve learned that I can drink too much and forget the night before. But I’ve learned I can’t drink enough to forget the people I’ve loved and lost.”

A sob interrupts his speech.

“I don’t know what to say to you, except that it tore the heart out of my body saying goodbye to you.”

He has to get out, he needs to breathe fresh air, he wants the grief in him to be replaced by the scent of fresh flowers and sunshine. Who knew losing his lover could turn a hardened soldier into a sobbing mess?

Someone hugs him, but he is too far gone to even register it. Those same arms, same hands guide him to his seat, and his mind is empty when he listens to the rest of the wake.

And now he is sitting in a comfortable chair, a therapist in front of him. Simon still doesn’t know why he accepted it. After all, he still believes that he should suffer from what he has done to you. If you didn’t deserve to live, why would he?

He filters out her voice as he concentrates to the ticking noise of the clock. These appointments feel like a waste of his time. But so does rotting in bed, so he keeps telling himself you would’ve wanted this for him, for him to seek the help he doesn’t feel he deserves.

71 days. The last time he saw you was 71 days. And for those 71 days he feels like an empty shell of an human. And the worst part? Your shirts no longer smell like you, he had to throw out your leftovers, the mold covering the food you had prepared, but he had tried to cling on to it for as long as he could.

71 days, and your voice is a mere memory, it sounds different on the video’s he has from you, and he is ashamed that he can’t remember the real sound anymore.

What would you think of him? God he hopes you can’t see him from the afterlife like this, a goddamn mess, the last time he took a shower must’ve been a week ago, and if he doesn’t go to his therapy session, all he does is, well, nothing. The time he has on this earth is waisted by staring at the wall, hours on end. Just staring, and when his mind is done beating him up for making the mistake of asking you to go on that mission with him, it’s just turned off.

A waste of space, a waste of oxygen, a waste of everything. A pathetic excuse of a human being.

“Simon.” The voice of his therapist snaps him out of it. “Are you okay? I’ve been talking to you for minutes.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” He grumbles.

She doesn’t believe him, he can feel it, and he can’t blame her, after all, most sessions are filled with an awkward silence, he doesn’t want to talk, and she learned that asking her questions gets her nowhere.

His mind wanders to your funeral again, how the empty casket is haunting him, how the nightmares about you being cold, dead and alone are haunting him, how even when he sleeps, he finds no peace from his mistake.

He can hear his therapist sigh, her long nails tapping on the clipboard, and it’s fucking annoying. He wants to tell her about the flashbacks, how he keeps relieving the mission, how he keeps replaying the last minute with you, he wants to, but he can’t. It is his secret, his punishment.

His therapist clears her throat. “Well, our time is up. Is there anything you’d like to discuss before we call it quits?”

“No.”

“Alright, see you again next week then, same time.”

With a scoff he gets up from the chair, ready to go home to embrace the darkness of his bed again.

#call of duty modern warfare 2 #cod mw2 #call of duty #cod mwii #cod x reader #angst #ghost x reader #ghost x you #mw2 #fanfic #funeral #fan fiction #fanfiction #fiction #fanfics #no comfort #cod #ao3fic #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer #ao3 link

[itsaspectrumcomic]

hi im really sorry to bother you, and obvs you dont need to answer this at all im just some internet guy lol but do you think i could get some advice?

so ive been diagnosed with autism for like, 5 years (was diagnosed p late, in comparison to others) and im beginning to have some real goddamn big suspicions that i Also have adhd (because. yaknow. the gift that keeps on giving yk? lol). i have a lot of really major issues with executive dysfunction that is directly impacting schoolwork and also a lot of stuff in my life, generally. ive also got a lot of memory issues nd junk

and the thing is; ive got a therapist, but due to a whole slew of things im really scared to like, bring this up with her yk? and, like, im a minor so i cant exactly just seek it out myself yk? and i cant really talk to my parents about it because my mom is a very specific kind of vaguely ableist and my dad generally just isnt involved with that whole section of my being, yk? like, he doesnt manage any of my therapy, aside from bringing me to appointments when my mother isnt available.

and like, ive brought certain things UP to my therapist before and it went mostly ok, aside from one pretty distressing misunderstanding but it feels different for this one because i really do need medication for this, i feel. and thats a whole thing with my mother specifically, since at the start of the whole diagnosis process she outright refused the idea of medication and like. idk man, im so super sorry to write a whole bullshit essay when you're literally just vibing but yk. idk who else to ask lol, and you seem like you know what youre doing i guess?

real sorry. thanks in advance. insert other applicable signoff message here

I'm sorry you're struggling with this. Your therapist should be someone you can talk to about things like this but I understand being anxious about it. Are you afraid to bring it up because she's said ableist/anti-adhd stuff in the past or you have reason to suspect she won't help? If that's the case I really recommend trying to get a different therapist if you can. You deserve a therapist you feel safe sharing things like this with.

If it's impacting schoolwork it might be worth talking to your teachers to see if there's any additional support you can get from them. You don't have to tell them you suspect ADHD if you don't want to, you can just tell them you've been struggling with certain aspects of school and hopefully they can help. School is hard for lots of people so know you're not alone.

It might be different where you live, but in the UK you're able to make your own doctors appointments if you're over 16 so asking a doctor about getting a referral for a diagnosis/medication could be an option as well. Although waiting lists for that are incredibly long at the moment - I've personally been waiting nearly a year just to get an appointment 🙃

In the meantime, have you heard of How to ADHD on YouTube? Her channel has lots of videos with advice and various discussions about living with ADHD which you might find helpful.

Sorry I don't know if that helped much but I hope you're able to get support soon!

#ask #anon ask #advice #adhd #neurodivergent #also thank you for thinking i know what im doing #im glad i come across that way #but i definitely dont a lot of the time lol #long post

[mandiemegatron]

Yeah hi me again. I think it's fucked up that you cried to your little friends that I was "bullying" you and now some of my favorite one piece writers and artists BLOCKED me! I had to make a whole new account because I couldn't see anything! It's not my fault I don't like your writing anymore, you changed how you write and I told you I didn't enjoy it and I'm being punished for having an optionn?! Fuck you Mandy that's stupid. I wish I never read your shit.

.... you're actually fucking delusional. You need to seek a therapist asap, and maybe even Jesus because this is the wildest thing I've ever had to deal with. I'm assuming you're also @oplover14 (I have you blocked bc you're pathetic and miserable and a BULLY)

I don't know what the fuck I did to you to make you act out like this. I didn't ASK anyone to fuckin block you or anything. I'm literally here for a good time, to have fun and write some silly smutty things, and you're literally jumpin down my throat for what ???? You say you're 33 yet you act like a fuckin 13 year old throwing a goddamn temper tantrum !!! Who the fuck hurt you dude ?!

Literally grow the fuck up and act your goddamn age. You're pathetic and sad, Law and Luffy would punch you right in your disrespectful face. You're no nakama to either of them.

You're entitled to your opinion but you're not entitled to be a fuckin dick abt it. You don't have to like my writing dude but you also don't have to tell me you don't like it. Whatever happened to "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything?"

Go back to kindergarten and learn some goddamn manners.

#answered ask #BLOCKED. #youre so sad dude. how tiring it must be to be so goddamn miserable. #keep acting up buddy and everyones going to have you blocked and not becausd theyre my mutuals #it'll be because they can't stand you and that nasty ass attitude you have 🤮🤮🤮 #33 and acting like this #i womt be rrsponding to anything else you send - new blog or otherwise. #youre done miss maam . please go touch some grass

[loudmound]

jingling miserably across the floor to bring you yet another goddamn post about james sunderland (and the broader themes of sh2 in general)

part one: silent hill is the world's worst exposure therapist and that's honestly it

for starters, i think it's best to get out of the way the notion that the town itself is actively punishing its inhabitants is... silly. it's just silly. when you operate by the logic that silent hill is punishing james for what he did to mary, that logic quickly becomes concerning when we take angela and eddie into account.

does angela deserve to be tormented by a manifestation of the sexual abuse she endured from her father? does eddie deserve to be tormented by manifestations of the emotional and verbal abuse he faced from his bullies? if you have any modicum of compassion, you'd say no.

but we cannot then say with a handwave that "oh well angela and eddie don't deserve it, but james does! because james did something bad!" and like... yes, i do agree that there is a sort of sliding scale of moral justification and negligibility given each of these characters' acts of violence, but all of these people did such to escape their circumstances. and, most importantly, angela, eddie, and james all feel like they deserve to be punished in some way, shape, or form.

angela's been so horrifically abused that she's resigned to the notion that she deserved what happened to her. eddie's been so horrifically abused that he's resigned to the notion that he is just a fat piece of shit. and, with james, while having a tangible distance from any kind of abuse, feels he deserves to be punished for killing mary; something that he'd unwittingly repressed to even keep himself upright. he drove to silent hill to kill himself—to be with mary in death in the last place they were happy together.

and that right there is exactly what silent hill is doing; silent hill is a functionally amoral entity, i'd argue. it does not care whether its inhabitants live or die, it does not care about punishment or exoneration, it is merely drawing from their psyches and projecting manifestations as a means of confrontation, and seeks to see what that person chooses to do in the face of the darkest and ugliest parts of themselves, traumas and all. will you succumb or will you overcome? that's the only question it cares to ask.

part two: stop pretending james is a violently misogynistic sex pest

now, this part is gonna come off as biased, because i am a james fan. i like him a lot. but i'm also not going to pretend that he's not a divisive character or that he did nothing wrong. he most certainly did. that's not the point and i don't want to come off as defending his murder of mary, nor am i trying to convince people to like him. he's a fictional guy, like and hate whomever. i don't care.

what i do care about is analysis, and some people insinuating that james killed mary for the sole, superficial, and juvenile reason that she wouldn't fuck him anymore? it truly baffles me beyond words.

i've seen this take enough times for it to be concerning; the notion of james' deed solely surrounded being denied sex and lashing out with murder because of it. if that sincerely were the case, james would be a very different man and sh2 would be a very different, markedly worse game, because how fucking one-dimensional is that? seriously, think about it for longer than 3 seconds and let it sink in how much worse that would be for sh2's story and overall message.

contrary to this belief: james loved mary! james loves mary! that's kind of the whole point, really! i'm not denying that there isn't a sexual component to the whole ordeal, there most certainly is. maria is the apex of that, as are a good handful of the monsters like the mannequins and the bubblehead nurses. hell, i'm not going to deny that there aren't shades of misogyny within these monsters' looks, either!

but these monsters aren't made for james' wanton, sexual consumption; they're a means of confrontation. they're terrifying and warped. there's a certain shame about them, too, in so far as they're manifested from a man who seems guilty about even existing as a person at all. that he even has sexual thoughts to begin with when his wife lay sick and dying in her hospital bed.

james doesn't seem particularly enthusiastic about much of anything, least of all sex. him never even alluding to such or even saying the word out loud speaks volumes to me at just the magnitude of shame he feels surrounding such a concept, when everything around him is so loudly saying that it's a part of him he's terrified to look in the face. (think of the pin-up he sees in the hospital where he mutters to himself in his head "...this is no time to be looking at a stupid poster.")

your libido doesn't screech to a halt when your significant other is terminally ill, and finding other people attractive when you're in a relationship with someone else is pretty normal, so long as those feelings don't breach the bond you have with said partner. if james fantasized about fucking the hospital nurses or whatever, so what? that's within the realm of fantasy, and i'm sure he's cognizant of such. that doesn't make him an "incel", that doesn't make him unfaithful, it makes him a regular person with a sexuality, and he feels shame for such because his partner—the one that he truly wants—is sick, dying, and sexually unavailable because of the latter facts. the audacity to think of sex at a time like this? how dare he? how disgusting of him!

(sidenote: i really don't like the conflation of the term "incel" with "misogynist". yes, incel culture at large is misogynistic, but literally anybody can be a misogynist and incels are largely self-identified. misogyny is systemic, and incels are a symptom of that. also, james has a partner and is certainly implied to have had sex before. by definition, he is not an incel. a strange, miserable man, yes, but not an incel.)

part three: james did it for so many reasons and sex wasn't one of them

james killed mary because he couldn't watch her suffer any longer. james killed mary because he wanted his life back—to be free of such a burden on his shoulders. james killed mary to be with her in death not long after, because without her, he's got nothing. together, beyond the grave, they could be happy once more.

while james is not a reliable narrator, it's impossible to me that the reason he did it was purely because he couldn't have sex with mary anymore. it's reductive and insulting to insinuate that sh2, a game about death, about grief, about guilt and loss and trauma, as well as love and sex, would have its main protagonist be a flat as a fucking board when it came to the reason he did it.

hell, i'd argue that his reasoning is more complicated than angela's and eddie's reasonings for their respective deeds because they're fucking rock solid reasonings. it's easier to empathize with an sa survivor killing their abusers and a victim of bullying finally snapping and attempting to kill their respective abusers than a man who finally got so sick of it all and killed his wife before the disease eating her from the inside out could kill her instead. there is an obvious callousness in james' deed that repels such a level of compassion, and that's perfectly reasonable. which is why it's so goddamn complicated!

it's already such a terrible thing to do to somebody else, imbued with so many reasons, both selfish and selfless, both loving and resentful, and to just write it off as "oh well james did it because he was mad he couldn't get his dick sucked anymore and silent hill was so bad for him because the town thought he deserved it <3"... see me after class.

anyways, thank you for reading. i'm gonna go the fuck to bed now.

#stormy shouts #james sunderland #silent hill #brave enough to tag james now that it's not 3am

[parafessions]

(Ignore that last ask about the Reddit post, i sent it off without fixing something. Here is the fixed version:)

I saw this Reddit post the other day (well, I saw a YouTube short covering it) by this teen/kid(?) who was going on a rant about how disgusting and horrible their sister is. At first they were detailing how she gets them in trouble and stuff, then they got into the Main Story.

OP has a tablet that their sister uses. Once, they found some AI chats on the tablet that she left open. Most were sexual, one was an nsfw chat with a dog and another was a daddy/daughter incest chat thing. This led OP to immediately assume that this was not just something their sister left open to prank them and that she actually wants to fuck dogs and her father. They literally said something along the lines of “oh GOD I need to keep her away from any animals and my dad, she’s DANGEROUS.”

This whole fucking post (AND THE COMMENTS! MOST OF THE COMMENTS WERE TELLING OP TO TELL THEIR PARENTS) is the bane of my existence. I don’t know, maybe it hits a little too close to home for me but I’ll get to myself later.

Imagine you accidentally leave your sexual Chat AIs open on your siblings tablet. Fine, rookie mistake we’ve all done something like that— plus, it’s not like you have a personal tablet anymore.

Then, supposedly, your sibling finds the weird fantasies in the chat AIs you’ve been reading. Maybe you left them open deliberately as a prank, maybe you didn’t.

Your sibling posts on Reddit talking about how horrible and disgusting you are to the whole internet, then goes and tell your parents that you’re at risk of fucking the first dog you see AND YOUR DAD, which will probably soil the relationship you have with him for at least a long time.

If they believe your sibling, they’ll probably take you to therapy to “fix” you for a problem you might not even HAVE. I mean, if you maybe have fantasies about these things doesn’t mean you have any real animals or family members in mind and intend to act on them anytime soon. If it was just a prank, you’re getting sent to therapy for the wrong reasons- or no goddamn reason at all.

And therapists are flawed human beings. The one you get sent to may not understand the difference between having unethical fantasies and planning to offend at all!

My point is, this Reddit post haunts me because I think OP is jumping to conclusions and about to hurt their sister, clearly out of sibling-rivalry bias.

Sure, she may not be completely innocent in general, but I feel for her because she’s probably gonna get accused of something really serious.

And about the “hitting close to home” thing— as someone who’s had similar fantasies and seeks out nsfw of them for stimulation (and a coping mechanism for my zoophilia, in a way,) I would absolutely hate it if my sibling decided to go tell my parents I look at incest hentai and therefore want to fuck my ACTUAL dad.

.

#confessions #paraphilia #paraphile

[britts-galaxy-brain]

It's gonna be real fucking funny when someone finally lawyers up and drags either Lily or Poppy to court. All their terminally online antics, from Lily shrieking about "transphobic lies and slander" to Poppy trying to "pull rank" as a therapist, will just make everyone laugh them out of the courtroom. It'll be the greatest public flogging of all time, and I'm here for it.

If Lily ever genuinely gets dragged to court, she's going to prison and getting put on a list for the rest of her life. If she ever gets out of prison.

Lily Orchard is a pedophile. She's said it to me herself on multiple occasions, which are in the chat logs linked in my pinned, both directly and via her sockpuppet account. Lily Orchard has an e621 account under her sockpuppet's pen name full of depictions of children. Lily Orchard had at least three SankakuComplex accounts under her sockpuppet's pen name, two of her sockpuppets' names mashed together, and two names from one of her fanfictions full of 3D depictions of child torture. Lily Orchard was found seeking hurtcore content on a dark web csem peddling forum. Lily Orchard has written her sexual abuse of her sibling into damn near every work of fiction she's ever written, including her sockpuppet's backstory.

Lily Orchard is a pedophile. Lily Orchard is an active danger to minors. Lily Orchard is a malignant sadist who enjoys seeing people suffer (something else she admitted via her sockpuppet that's in my chat logs).

If you still support Lily Orchard, you are supporting a goddamn child predator and are actively choosing to remain ignorant. End of story.

I've met quite a few fucked up people in my lifetime. Lily Orchard is by far the most genuinely evil, malignant, poisonous piece of shit I've ever had the misfortune of having in my life. And I'm not stopping until she's in prison.

I know Lily is going to have some smart-mouth shit to say about this and I don't care. Her and I both know what the truth is. She's just a monster that has to make sure her prey doesn't see beyond her flimsy Dollar Store mask.

#lily orchard #lily orchard is a predator

[winchester-reload]

Hey Jackie!

How do you stop with being too perfectionist about your art and comparing yourself too much to other artists? How do you decide when to stop with a painting? I struggle extremely with bringing myself down and I know I should not set as high standards to myself but at the same time it is of course also what keeps me moving. And also I tend to value my own worth in responses that I get to my art sometimes ...

I am sorry if that is too much info and I know you are of course no therapist for that 😅 But as a fellow artist, do you have any tips for dealing with that?

You know what, anon? This is a really, really great question. One, I think all creatives are confronted with from time to time—or, even, CONSTANTLY. With the advent of the internet and social media, it's actually a problem that extends beyond creative works. But I'll ignore that aspect of it for this post and focus on art creation only.

So, as I’ve already alluded, this is something I also deal with. And overcoming it can be a monumental task at times--even for me (or, rather, people you may view of as more established artists). Though I don’t have a cure for it, I can tell you some of the things I try to keep in mind to keep myself moving.

#1) The first and best thing you can know as an artist is that perfection is your enemy. 

What does that mean? It means you’ll never EVER reach perfection-- and not because you’re bad or unskilled, but because it’s IMPOSSIBLE. Literally the only way you can fail is by seeking perfection in your work. What you should try to focus on instead is simply finishing the piece AND THEN STARTING ANOTHER ONE. Momentum and progress is far more beneficial to you as an artist than somehow magically getting one piece of art exactly right. 

How do I know? Because that last line in bold is the code I live by. I would not be here with even one single piece of art posted if I’d waited for perfection to post it first--or even sometimes satisfaction! <--this is true of any and all of my art btw. The pieces I think I executed well still fall short of the original concept in my mind. And even those are few and far between. 

Which leads us to our next problem: Being hard on yourself as a means of motivation. 

I’ve got a sharp pill for us both to swallow. Ready? 

#2) Being hard on yourself DOESN’T WORK. 

Being hard on yourself, or demeaning your skill will not help motivate or move you.  Note: this is different from being regimented, or strict with your practice.

This kind of thinking brings you to a halt. Case in point: this ask you submitted to me. If it worked, you probably wouldn’t be struggling with your artistic worth right now. Instead, it acts as a slow moving poison in your mind. A constant whisper that what you do is not good enough, and that it might never be good enough. Eventually, it’ll make you lose confidence in your own skill, and the self-doubt will cripple you. Then, as you give up, and go to wallow on social media, looking at other artists’ work, wishing you could be half as talented as they are, that beautiful little art flame inside you will die a little more.  

But the truth is, you are already as talented as all those artists you admire. And no, I don’t mean that in some kind of ‘everyone gets a gold star at Jackie’s Painting Palace' kind of way. What I mean is, ART IS A SKILL YOU HAVE TO BUILD. Talent is negligible. 

Did I say that loud enough? YOU ALREADY HAVE MORE TALENT THAN YOU’LL EVER NEED TO BE AN AMAZING ARTIST. YOU JUST HAVE TO TRAIN YOUR FLOPPY MEATSUIT TO DO THE THINGS YOUR BRAIN SEES. It’s as simple as that. And as frustrating, and time consuming, and irritating... 

*The only way I’ll accept talent as coming into play is if our joint definition of ‘talent’ is to be too goddamn stubborn to be stopped by the overwhelming frustration of learning this craft*

And the only way to learn it is to try, get up if you stumble, and try it again. Over and over and over. And guess what? Sometimes--maybe even a lot of those times--other people will see your art you make for the delicious chocolate rainbow cake it is, even if you can’t. And when they do, soak in the love. But try not to be dependent on it. Make the art because you want to make the art, regardless of its reception, then, make some more.

As they say-- If you build it, they will come. Steadily producing and working on your craft is what will help people find you. And as your audience grows, you get the opportunity for more interaction and feedback! And if the feedback is negative, embrace that spiteful anarchist rebel inside you and make another one just like it. (I mean, how do you think I ended up making so much destiel art??? Oh man. All those Instagram trolls are to thank. Troll: “Dean would never”

Me: IDK, man. It looks like he’s pretty in to it. I guess I’ll do make another one just to check...)

Anyway... little by little, every new thing you learn from each sketch, painting, thumbnail concept--whatever--will add up and reflect in your art. But you have to be patient and diligent about practicing. 

And

So, anon, rather than getting caught up in the details or endgame desires, do me a favor. The next piece of art you work on (which will hopefully be the moment you finish reading this), if you find yourself with ‘runaway brain’, take a break. Get some water. Get some space from it. And when you’ve rested, go back to it. Fix anything you can fix with fresh eyes, leave anything you can’t. And then post it. When you do, say something to yourself like, “All right, it is what it is. On to the next”. <-- I’ve done this for every piece of art I’ve ever posted, and believe me when I say it is the sole reason I've had the nerve to publish a lot of the art I have.  

Is any of it perfect? HELL NAW. But, it’s finished. Some of it’s fun. And all of it serves as snapshots that prove the incremental improvements we make with each of our pieces do eventually add up. They’ll never add up to perfection, but where’s the fun in ‘perfect’ anyway? The adventure is in the journey, not the destination. 

If you can keep these things in mind, I promise you can get over these mind hurdles. Some days will be easier than others, but I believe you can do it. Remember, the only difference between success and failure is a willingness to try.

I sincerely hope this helps.

Happy arting, my friend <3

#asks #art asks #my art #destiel #wonderful people

[a-sip-of-milo]

hihi!!

i've sent in an anon ask before, but didn't sign it. i'll be signing off with -🪱 if it's not taken?

tw// long-ish rant, etc.

since questioning whether or not i have a cluster b disorder(specifically hpd) i've noticed SO MUCH demonization of cluster b disorders. my former favorite content creators throw around the term "narcissist", my own mother(who's a goddamn social worker) uses the terms "psychopath" and "sociopath" and refuses to acknowledge that aspd doesn't make people evil, i've heard people(including my mother) talk negatively about how pw cluster b disorders are "attention seeking", etc. it makes me really scared to seek out a diagnosis. i go to a group therapy program so it's much harder to be evaluated than it would be if i had a 1-1 therapist and im currently on a six month waitlist for a neuropsych eval. im terrified of what the results are going to be.

i've tried confiding in my mother about this, who said even though i'm "attention seeking and manipulative", she doesn't see my issues as anything more than just "being a teenager".

idk. i just wanted to get that off my chest and see if maybe anyone has good resources for pwhpd/other cluster b disorders? the ones i've found so far haven't been great.

thank you for reading/the amazing content you post!

-🪱

I'll eventually get to making a resources post for other disorders as well, but here is the post I made for NPD:)

Unfortunately, most people don't realise how common it is until they realise they have the disorder, too. I've had countless discussions with my grandmother because she doesn't understand why I'm seeing it everywhere when it barely ever comes up for her. It's definitely one of those things that will never be properly by people unless they've experienced it themselves.

#🪱 anon #ask

[blackcatgreengrape]

HELLO CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE NEWEST EPISODE OF RICK AND MORTY?!?! RICK WHAKF HE’S SO VULNERABLE IN THIS EPISODE, AND GODDAMN,, ACTIVELY SEEKING HELP FROM THE THERAPIST!?!?!w OHMGRKE

#rick and morty #rick and morty season 6 #rick sanchez #analyze piss

[ina-nis]

It was relational/social wounds that put us where we are, yet somehow relation and social is not how we get out of it

Oh, absolutely.

This is so very ironic and something that makes me so deeply upset and angry. It's frustrating seeking treatment, it's frustrating seeking connection too, because everyone everywhere is poisoned by the same goddamn argument, and they keep on believing it's something one can overcome by sheer "will-power" and "self-help books" or paying for a "coach" - hell not even actual trained therapists seen to be able to help me.

I can tell you for sure having a self-esteem has not helped me either so the problem isn't a lack of self-love or the fact that I'm not working on healing.

The problem isn't for me to bear all on my own, never have been.

It gets worse the more complex it is... I can tell from personal experience: once you're past the struggles of social anxiety, once you are able to address the woes of collective loneliness, then relational (social) loneliness, addressing emotional (intimate) loneliness becomes a nearly impossible task. That has been the case for me, considering the help available only goes so deep...

There's nothing else I can do with social anxiety, collective and relational loneliness that will help me address emotional loneliness.

I've been trying to connect deeply with people this whole time, the reciprocity is just never there, not in a way that works for me, or it's never there for long enough. I'm too exhausted to continue trying.

Doing other things in my life doesn't help either because... you guessed: they don't address emotional loneliness.

I've been living in agony and the more treatments I try, the more things I do, the more I talk and reach out to people, the worse I feel, the more hopeless I feel, the more accentuated the pain becomes. It's a nightmare.

I'm doing what I can already, all on my own, how the fuck are you supposed to "fix" something like this on your own? What the fuck...

#ask #anonymous

[spelviin]

been a weepy mess all week bc in the middle of describing to my therapist on monday exactly why i'm so nervous about my new job and it's relative lack of structure vs my old one she was like "ok that sounds adhd-esque" and it was the end of the fkn session so we couldn't do anything with that but like.

i've had this conversation before. i had it in college when i was struggling so much i finally broke down and went to see a counsellor there, and nothing ever came of it bc my family doc was like "nah" the second i brought it up with her, and that interaction fucked me up emotionally enough to not want to bring it up again.

and i've literally TOLD my therapist abt that in the past but ig it was a while ago but that's beside the point. point is, she wants to know if i'd like to seek a formal diagnosis, and nothing fucking terrifies me more than that, because what if i got through all fucking that and it turns out i don't have it and i'm just a lazy piece of shit with no good goddamn reason. like. i absolutely could not handle that.

but on the other hand, especially with this new job and the fact that it's so unstructured and so dependent on my own drive and time management and ability to get myself to do things unprompted, the idea of having like. supports. and medication. that could potentially allow me to actually function the way i feel like most ppl do. like i want that? but the diagnostic process just scares me so much i don't know what to fucking do and ugh.

anyways in the process of typing this post i've realized why i haven't been able to sleep this week, so that's something i guess lol.

#og #personal #if anyone's like... gone thru the process irl pls let me know i'm genuinely at a loss here

[lichdragon-fortissax]

The fan interpretation of the Tarnished having no respect or patience for any of the schemers and evil individuals of the Lands Between is how I like to imagine them the most. The.y just have a new insult for each of those people every time they meet them. “Alright, Shit Snacker, what do you want?”

Listen man they just woke up after being kicked off a cliff by a fucked up teenager with more hands than they know what to do with after being exiled from their homeland for Simply Not Dying, their life is ALREADY bullshit enough at that point. And then they meet Varre right out the gate, who's got all this snarky drivel about getting no bitches??? And having to seek the Elden Ring??? Having to deal with each member of a family that wouldn't have had so many goddamn problems if Marika wasn't so dramatic and in need of a therapist??? That is SO much horseshit to shovel. Them being tired of everything is just peak comedy tbh

#elden ring #anon #reply #the tarnished #tarnished