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turvi · 1 year

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Headcanon

Thank you for the request @reiketsunomizunomegami hope you like it.

Young Severus Snape x Slytherin Reader

You were known as the ice bitch. While you hated that name you knew why students like to call you that. And you didn't care. One cold glare from you was enough to make students scatter. You would be lying if you said you hated this feeling

Your parents were one of the most influential and wealthy wizards but you never needed their power and wealth to assert your dominance over people.

But that never stopped some boys from trying to win you over. While some boys tried to win you over for your wealth most were enamored by your beauty.

'You are so beautiful you should smile some more' 'oh yeah? maybe you could do that for me when I kick you between your legs'

You didn't think you would ever have feelings for someone. Until you saw him. His long greasy hair, onyx eyes, aquiline nose. You didn't know his name and you were cursing yourself at how you missed someone like him.

Many times you would catch yourself staring at him, your heart fluttering when he catches you staring at him.

You couldn't stop yourself from glancing at him every now and then. You had a love-hate relationship with this feeling. On one hand, you hated to feel like this because it made you feel vulnerable but you also loved how it felt whenever you saw him

As some other snobby Slytherin was talking to you, you still couldn't stop glancing at this boy. 'So my father told me that I am capable of inheriting his wealth very soon since I am so capable' 'yeah right uh who is that?' to be honest you couldn't hear a word he said you were busy looking at your man who was sitting under a tree reading his potion book. Excuse me! YOUR MAN?

'Oh him I honestly don't know if I should feel bad for him or resent him' 'why is that?' 'well the marauders bully him and well he is one ugly git'

The boy in front of you turned around to see you giving him your infamous murderous look. You heard him gulp. 'Name' 'Arthur' 'I am asking his name' ' Severus Snape'. He ran away quicker than a chicken.

'Severus Snape' you couldn't stop a slight smile that grew on your face. Even his name is beautiful. You said his name a few more times to see how it would feel to call him yours. Now you could ask him out.

The only issue is that you don't know how to. Obviously, this isn't your first time talking to a boy. Hell, you can punch a boy right now if you wanted you just because you could. But feelings? That was not your department.

But you were not the only one struggling with their feelings. Currently Severus was seated with his friends at the Great Hall when he saw you pass by. You walked with such grace and elegance it almost felt like the whole school was kneeling in front of you.

Lucius noticed this 'Mate you have been eyeing her for weeks why don't you ask her out?' 'Is this a sick joke Malfoy? Have you seen her? Most importantly have you seen me?'

You noticed obviously that Severus was different than you. Where he wore hand me downs you wore something new and fresh everyday. But despite these differences you wanted to ask him out and really get to know him. So you asked for Narcissa's help.

Let's just say Narcissa was very happy to introduce you two. 'Oh Godric it's finally happening our Y/n is in love and with none other than Severus. Oh I knew you would love him'.

Slowly and steadily with a lot of effort from both of you (more like Narcissa and Lucius) eventually you and Severus were together. Severus had believed this relationship will be shortlived due to how rich and powerful your parents were nonetheless he still made efforts to win your heart everyday and to no ones surprise it worked everytime.

Both you and Severus were not clingy lovers but would hold hands give a few kisses here and there when no one is looking. When you first kissed him on his cheeks he hid his blushing cheeks behind his hair which you then tucked behind his ears. 'Don't hide yourself'. His heart would flip with how soft you were with him

Other? eh not so much. Specially not marauders who were bullying him. You would tell him that you are not soft with him and to prove a point he asks to let his hand go you would hold it tighter.

One day they cornered him 'Is it true Snivellus? Is ice bitch your girlfriend now?' 'Don't call her that' 'Aww look he is angry now' 'Padfoot I think he spread the rumour I mean have you seen her no way she is with a greasy git like him'

And you hexed him you couldn't take it anymore. 'Say another word about my boyfriend and I'll hex you again this time it will hurt more'.

Needless to say they knew what you were capable of and ran away. 'You didn't have to do that' 'Yeah I didn't have to but I wanted to' 'Why?' 'Because Severus I don't know if you noticed this but it heals my soul to watch you smile and my heart beats for you and you only so Merlin forbid if someone hurts you I will show them hell'

Slowly you got comfortable with each other and hug for a minute longer, kiss for a second longer. After two years of dating you decided it was good time to introduce him to your parents. He wasn't nervous actually he was scared. He didn't want to lose you and he thought it was possible when your parents get to know that he was not wealthy or powerful.

He was surprised to see your father greet him warmly. When your hugged him his eyes teared up. 'Oh Severus it is so good to finally meet you, Y/n told me so much about you' 'MA!'.

He was sated with the hearty meal your mother cooked for him and all the childhood stories she had to provide. Even though it was embarrassing your heart was singing watching Severus laugh heartedly. He held your hand underneath the table and caressed your palm with his fingers.

When dinner was over your father talked with Severus separately while your mother talked to you. 'You are happy' 'I am ma, he makes me happy always will' 'Well looks like I have a wedding to arrange' 'How do you already know he will marry me' 'because he looks at you like your father used to look at me'.

You both were returning to your humble abode. When he looked at you he knew how wrong those people were about you because no one loved him like you and no one will. Maybe the children you both will have. But that is a conversation for next time. Severus was blushing and actually very happy and glad that he asked your father for your hand in marriage. Your father already patting his back and telling him that he already has his blessing.

'So you talk to your mother about me?' you were blushing profusely Godric he has really made you soft. 'Only sometimes' you replied with a cheeky smile and he pressed a sweet kiss on your lips.

A year later you got married and you were officially known as Mrs. Snape. Some peers from Hogwarts were surprised to watch you smile so much while for others it was their first time watching you smile.

#slytherin #severus snape x y/n #severus x reader #severus snape #pro snape #professor snape #hogwarts #severus snape x reader #severus x you #severus headcannon #snape fandom #snapedom #snape x reader #severus snape fanfiction #professor severus snape #severus snape x slytherin reader #harry potter #fic rec

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snapemalfoy · 1 year

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𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐒𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐮𝐬<𝟑

𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: 𝑵𝒐𝒏𝒆

•

♡︎ʜᴇ ᴘʀᴇꜰᴇʀs ᴛᴇᴀ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴄᴏꜰꜰᴇᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴘᴏᴜʀ ʜɪᴍsᴇʟꜰ sᴏᴍᴇ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʜᴇ ɴᴇᴇᴅs ᴀɴ ᴇxᴛʀᴀ ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴍᴇ ᴜᴘ.

♡︎ʜᴀs Mɪɴᴇʀᴠᴀ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ꜰᴏʀ ʟᴜɴᴄʜ, ᴏʀ ᴛᴏ ɢᴏ sʜᴏᴘᴘɪɴɢ ᴛᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴇᴇᴋᴇɴᴅs.

♡︎ᴜsᴜᴀʟʟʏ ʜᴀs ʜɪs ʜᴀɪʀ ᴅᴏᴡɴ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴀʟᴏɴᴇ, ʜᴇ’ʟʟ ᴘᴜʟʟ ɪᴛ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴀ ʟᴏᴡ ᴘᴏɴʏ. ᴛᴇɴᴅs ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴛʜɪs ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴄᴏᴏᴋɪɴɢ ᴏʀ ᴡᴏʀᴋɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ᴘᴏᴛɪᴏɴs.

♡︎ʟᴏᴠᴇs ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴏᴋ. sᴇᴠᴇʀᴜs ᴏᴡɴs ᴍᴀɴʏ ᴄᴏᴏᴋ ʙᴏᴏᴋs ᴀɴᴅ ʟᴏᴠᴇs ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴀʀɴ ɴᴇᴡ ʀᴇᴄɪᴘᴇs. ʜᴇ ᴀʟsᴏ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏs ʙᴀᴋɪɴɢ. ᴡʜᴇɴ sᴇᴇɪɴɢ Mɪɴɴɪᴇ, ʜᴇ’ʟʟ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴀᴋᴇᴅ ᴀ sᴍᴀʟʟ ᴄᴀᴋᴇ, ᴏʀ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴘᴀsᴛʀɪᴇs ᴊᴜsᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ʜᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ʜɪᴍ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀʀᴇ.

♡︎ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ɴᴏᴡ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇɴ, sᴇᴠᴇʀᴜs ᴡɪʟʟ ᴠᴇɴᴛᴜʀᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴜɢɢʟᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ. sᴛᴀʏɪɴɢ ᴜᴘᴅᴀᴛᴇᴅ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ᴏᴜᴛsɪᴅᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡɪᴢᴀʀᴅɪɴɢ ᴏɴᴇ.

♡︎ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ! ʜᴀs sᴏ ᴍᴀɴʏ ʙᴏᴏᴋs ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ'ᴛ ᴘʟᴀɴ ᴏɴ sᴛᴏᴘᴘɪɴɢ ʜɪs ᴄᴏʟʟᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴʏᴛɪᴍᴇ sᴏᴏɴ. ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴜʏ ᴀ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴏʀ ᴛᴡᴏ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʜᴇ sʜᴏᴘs.

♡︎ʜᴀs ᴀ ᴠᴀsᴇ ɪɴ ʜɪs ᴋɪᴛᴄʜᴇɴ ᴡɪɴᴅᴏᴡ ꜰᴜʟʟ ᴏꜰ ꜰʟᴏᴡᴇʀs. ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇs ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏʟᴅ ᴏɴᴇs sᴛᴀʀᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅɪᴇ.

♡︎ᴋᴇᴇᴘs ꜰʀᴇsʜ ʜᴇʀʙs ɪɴ ᴀ ɢᴀʀᴅᴇɴ ᴏᴜᴛ ʙᴀᴄᴋ. sɴɪᴘs ꜰʀᴇsʜ ᴄᴜᴛᴛɪɴɢs ꜰᴏʀ ʜɪs ᴍᴇᴀʟs.

♡︎sᴇᴠᴇʀᴜs ʟᴏᴠᴇs ᴘʟᴀɴᴛs, ɴᴏᴛ ᴏɴʟʏ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ʜᴇ's ᴀ ᴘᴏᴛɪᴏɴs ᴘʀᴏꜰᴇssᴏʀ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴀʟsᴏ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪᴛ ᴍᴀᴋᴇs ʜɪᴍ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴇ ᴏꜰ. ꜰᴇᴇʟs ᴀᴄᴄᴏᴍᴘʟɪsʜᴇᴅ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴀ ᴘʟᴀɴᴛ ʙʟᴏᴏᴍs ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ꜰʟᴏᴡᴇʀ, ᴏʀ ᴀ ʙᴜsʜ sᴘʀᴏᴜᴛs ᴀ ɴᴇᴡ ꜰʀᴜɪᴛ.

#pro severus #severus snape #severus x reader #severus snape story #professor snape #severus #snape #severus snape headcanon #snape headcanon #severus headcannon

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robynngaeblack · 2 years

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Snape hc where...

Everyone in the Slytherin house love Snape. Even if he was firm, he was fair and always know the right thing to say to make them feel better about themselves.

He was their jagged rock that knew how to pierce but also know how to raise them up.

And when Snape died, every year, on his grave alone, there was a sea of flowers laid just to remember the man that the Snakes love

#I'm sad #I just saw a great snape edit on ig #and it made me emotional #i love snape #severus snape #pro severus snape #pro snape #snape community #snape fandom #snape content #snape #anti snaters #snape love #severus headcannon #severus #professor snape #snapedom #snape defense

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headcanonandburn · 6 months

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Lily 2.0

so, a while ago, back when this blog was just finding it's foot, i made a post with a headcanon about why Jilly and Snilly wouldn't work out, wich was taken from a Prince Chaser fict , a ship that...if we are being honest probably wouldn't work out 'cause who would date someone who comited or threatened to comit CSA on them back when they were kids? but the ficts about it are cute and the ship is at least better than...say Severus Snape/Dumbledore.

anyway,back to the topic: after i made that post, a fellow Snape fan by the username of emma03080114 made several good points that i decided to include on it so now i present you....LILY 2.0 :

as much as they hated each other, James Potter and Severus Snape had one thing in common: although they liked to claim otherwise, neither of them truly loved Lily:

Yes they idealized her, as teens often do but it was not love.

To them, she was a princess from a fairytail, capable of doing no wrong and with next to no character flaws whatsoever.

James was crushing hard on Lily. He was atracted to Lily because of her beauty and popularity as well as her fiery temper'cause what he wanted the most was to have a stay at home warrior woman for a wife. To him, Lily was a challenge wich is what he loves the most as we can see when we take into consideration that it was him who decided that the marauders would become Animagi and it was him who had the idea for the marauders map. Hence why his main strategy to win her over was not to become closer to her but instead wear her down untill her NO becomes a YES.

He viewed Lily as Princess Peach a fiery damsel in distress, kidnaped by the big bad Bowser Severus who was tretening to crush her heart and bring her with him to the darkness,doing to her as he saw fit. (not that James knows shit about videogames or anything muggle really but i thought it was a good analogy)

James was the one who decided to get married and have kids right after they graduated Hogwarts and if it weren't for the war, Lily wouldn't have agreed 'cause she wanted to persue a carrer (probably as a healer or charms master) however, James, who had the most dotting parents anyone could ever wish for, had always idelized the notion of family and wanted one for himself. Once his parents died and seeing the war wouldn't stop anytime soon, he decided to fulfill that dream before it was to late.

Some may argue that he had to have loved Lily at least a bit since Harry came into existence but that could also have been motivated by lust and his own desire to have kids. it is more than clear that he was sexualy atracted to her and you don't have to love someone to have sex with them nor vice versa.

Severus, on the other hand, viwed Lily was his Belle, the only one he felt would ever be able to love the moster he saw himself as. He was unloved by his dad and although his mom may have loved him, she didn't love him enough to leave Tobias for his sake.

Never being exposed to real love or friendship prior to knowing lily is not surprising that he mistook the platonic love we did feel for her for a romantic love.

Neither Severus nor James ever got to truly know her, to see her as a person instead of an idea. Hence why i personally think that, had James and Lily lived, their relationship wouldn't last long.

They were just not right for each other: she was too headstrong, too opinionated and too independent to be the dotting wife he always dreamed of. Heck i can't even imagine her as a stay at home mom like most of the pureblood wifes seem to be.

In the End, Lily chose James because she, Like her sister, was a social climber and despite James being a certified toarag, he was pretty, popular, dominant and dirty rich was well as being a pureblood, thus giving her acess to the same social group that disciminated against her.

She also wasn't touchy enough for James or Severus and since she idealizes herself, believing herself to be superior to others, interpersonal justice is the only form of justice that matters to her. Thus, she would never correct Severus on his prejudiced views until those views resulted in her own feelings being hurt (like they canonically were at the lake.), plus despite the fact that she cares about thim, she never tried to view his side of the story. She never stoped to consider, for example, that a vast majority of the slytherins are either children of death eaters and/or planing to be death eaters so if Severus stoped talking to everyone associated with death eaters, he wouldn't have anyone to talk to in his house.

Honestly, i think that, for him to change without Lily dying, he would have to see muggles being mercilesly tourtured by those who follow the one he chose to call master, as well as having someone who suports him for real (ie not like Dumbledore who was more than happy to keep him in the DE instead of offering him a better option).

and for James to change for real, ('cause i don't think he did. i think he just toned down his bullying whenever Lily was around),he would have to see how much what he and his friends did truly hurts Severus. To do that, he would need to talk to someone who knows what Severus had gone trough or truly reflect if what he did was ok. Truthfully, is hard for people like him to change, unless something or someone makes them more empathic with others

Wow this poster got long!

Once again, thanks for your input emma03080114 and for those who are wondering, no i do not hate Lily, i just think that she would be better off with someone else.

#harry potter headcanon #headcanon #hp headcanon #anti jily #anti snily #pro severus snape #severus headcannon #severus snape headcanon #severus snape #james potter #lily evans

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rudy844421 · 1 year

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Bertram Aubrey

I hate that James & Sirius used a illegal spell on Bertram Aubrey and all they got was 2 detention Bertram deserves better.

I think it would awesome to have Severus & Bertram become friends after this, even when Severus is a Professor at Hogwarts

#severus headcannon #severus snape #pro snape #Bertram Aubrey #anti marauders #anti james potter #anti sirius black #anti snaters #Bertram Aubrey deserves better

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potions-of-dark-devotion · 4 months

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Something I think most people do not take into consideration about Severus Snape is that through our interactions with him in the book, we only see him through Harry’s perspective, which means we are only ever often seeing the very worst of him, when he is in the worst moods or under the worst stress.

The moments Harry witnesses Snape lash out are the moments when he is most prone to lash out or make some kind of sarcasticly barbed remark. Even in the situations with Neville and Snape; Neville has class with Harry, so there again Snape is more apt to be more irritated and less patient than usual.

This is not at all to say that Harry is at fault for their interactions; rather it’s to say that the readers perception of Severus Snape more than likely isn’t how he actually acts on a day to day basis in the presence of other characters. Yes, other students still consider him strict and somewhat unaproachable , but not cruel and not truly frightening or abusive. Even when we do see him intensely angry with Harry or Neville the worst things that happen are the incidents with Neville’s Toad Trevor, Hermione’s teeth, and the time Harry sees his memories of trauma and abuse at the hands of his father and Severus lashes out by throwing a jar at him ( an isolated particularly heated incident).

What I mean to say is, these examples are the worst that Severus Snape is capable of; not true cruelty but heavy sarcasm and irritation. Most students’ interactions with him likely aren’t as Harry or Neville’s nor as spectacular, but are perhaps more typical of a usually strict academic environment. We are (much of the time) judging the whole of Severus Snapes character by his weakest, hardest, most difficult moments. Almost Every other character is given the chance to balance one characters perspective of them with moments of tenderness, humor, kindness or warmth from the perspective of another character. The only time we get this second perspective with Severus is during The Princes Tale. I would loved to have seen Dumbledores or McGonagalls or even the other students interactions with him like Luna Lovegood; of course because this is Harry’s story we get Harry’s perspective and that’s valid but i think it also leaves us with the incongruous idea that Snape was constantly mean and cruel and then one day decided to bloom human emotions, when in fact he has been almost different person in the presence of most other characters.

#severus snape #pro snape #headcannons #Severus snape headcannon #snape love #harry potter #severus snape defense #severus snape meta #pro severus snape #harry potter meta

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dickmastersfruit · 18 days

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the marauders as history events

Barty: 9/11

Peter: Chernobyl

Snape: Covid

Lily: the polish army enlisting a bear in ww 2

Remus: abraham lincoln assasination

Sirius: when russia drank all the vodka they had after ww 2 ended

Regulus: submarine stuck underwater w/ rich ppl

Evan: communism. thats it communism

James: Ernest Hemingway's younger brother started his own country called New Atlantis

#bbgwrites #the marauders as #barty crouch #severus snape #lily evans #remus lupin #sirius black #regulus black #evan rosier #james potter #the marauders #marauders #marauders headcannons #the marauders headcannons #marauders era

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casasupernovas · 8 months

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so...snape fans have speculated where cokeworth is located in the england map or what it's equivalence would be. i've seen people speculate it's probably up north perhaps. maybe snape's a northerner.

however.

it's been stated multiple times that cokeworth is in the midlands. so we're thinking northampton, shropshire, stoke, birmingham.

but i prefer to think it's in the black country. mainly for these reasons:

1. cokeworth is an industrial town, even if spinner's end seems mainly abandoned, and the black country was the birth of the industrial revolution.

2. the black country was known for steelworks, glassworks and cokeworks which is maybe where the town got its title from.

3. the black country suffered from high unemployment due to the closing down of a lot of industrial sites in the 60s and 70s which ties into the idea of spinner's end being practically desolate now, and also the strain on the snape's household's economic position.

4. petunia met vernon dursley and marries him. his job was being the director of a firm that made drills. which are made of steel. steelworks anyone?

5. which leads to my last and favourite theory; petunia marrying vernon who perhaps also came from the black country then decided to name their child after something close to home. a nearby town perhaps - dudley.

#harry potter #theories #headcanon #headcannons #petunia dursley #vernon dursley #petunia evans #lily evans #severus snape #pro snape #snapedom #snape meta #cokeworth #spinners end #the black country #choosing to believe tobias's father was from birms and a peaky blinder #also choosing the snape family is from up north considering the surname has origins in lancashire and yorkshire

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dufferpuffer · 11 days

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In continuation of the 'pillow prince/ss/' topic.. Snape sex hcs? I remember you said it's basically impossible to drag him into bed but I'D TRY.

You're just spoiling me, aren'tcha? First Remus now Sev... Severus Snape is devoted to duty. Its the only thing holding him together. How often does he even go to bed…? A full-time teacher, a spy, a death eater, Dumbledore's dark little knight - He probably considers the time he spends marking 'rest enough'.

His self-esteem is dead. So dead he has come to terms with its corpse and uses it as protection. He's been teased his entire life for his looks. By his parents, by his schoolmates, by his teachers, by his cult, by his students... He's proud of how it has hardened him. It's become part of his ego: He's heard it all before - and now the words run off his oily feathers like raindrops.

Having someone say they think him anything less than hideous? Baffling. But while Remus would become a flustered mess... I think Severus would stages-of-grief it. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression… Because his romantic, affectionate side is also a corpse. It died alongside his best friend and he's spent the last decade-and-a-half making sure it stays buried.

To bring it back? That will take a stubborn dedication that rivals his. It takes grit and damn near necromancy. He will fight back, too - because to raise it from the dead is to raise Lily along with it. That is the greatest hurdle: Best friend or love of his life - either way she was the only person he has been affectionate with. He will need to digest that. He hasn't worked through his grief yet, because it is a difficult thing to work through alone. …but he CAN reach Acceptance.

One step, one stage at a time - peeling down each layer of his onion, like an ogre... Things move slowly with Severus - and in the opposite order you might expect. I guess I will go through what a relationship would be like with Severus, in a sorta dot-point fanfic format:

First note: He is allergic to showing weakness - and what he considers a weakness can be... strange. Indulgence. Emotions, affection, touch, company - he has no time for that garbage. He is in control of himself, of his body, of his feelings, of his life. Meticulous, complete control. This man 'tops' exclusively**

He is ashamed of masturbation. It means he has lost control of his emotions - and it grinds against his ego like sandpaper. He almost never does it. Thinking about anyone in particular when doing it is an insult to them - and he hates feeling guilty. He keeps it simple and almost self-harmingly dry. He has more important things to be doing with his time than engaging with this weakness…

You make your interest in him clear. He goes through everything - he belittles and denies your feelings, he gets angry with you for bothering him, he asks you to stop saying such nonsense... and he gets frustrated that even when you've finally shut up, he is STILL dwelling on it. He spends so long just tossing things up, sorting through his grief, imagining it... so, SO sick of jerking off… …when the dam bursts - he fucks. If he is going to be spending all this time obsessing over these stupid feelings he may as well get something out of it. Only sex, though. Sex he is in control of. Clothes on, greedy, not pretty, not nice. 'Thats what you wanted from me, yes? Well you've gotten it. Happy?!?' ((He does not expect the answer to be 'yes'.))

He thinks one time was too many, and did it only to take it off his mind - and to stop having you bother him about it. But it is easier for you to get him to do it a second time. And then a third... fourth... The more times it happens - and nothing embarrassing or bad follows... well, if he has done it once, he may as well do it more, right…? You are evidently trustworthy. '…You may come to my chambers IF I call - at no other times. I am too busy to play silly games.' A casual physical relationship - to solve a problem of distraction and concentration. That's all.

He does start to call. Occasionally at first - and every time he almost shows surprise that you actually turn up. But he gets less and less surprised... and starts getting more and more needy. 'You're late. I sent for you half an hour ago. Do you think I am made of time?!' He doesn't even realize how needy he sounds, because this activity is now ingrained in his routine. He is used to it. And because he is used to it: He touches more. More clothes come off. But never his own. He has gone from 'hands-on-waist' fucking to caressing your naked body - slow rolls of his hips, making his own breathe shudder, enjoying every sensation.

One day his summons aren't replied to. At first he angry. How dare you. How DARE you waste his time!? The next time they are alone he snaps at you bitterly. 'Finally tired of me? Got your fill? Met a better man?' When the response is more along the lines of 'I was a bit ill' or 'I was out'... he realizes he has shown far too much of his hand. How embarrassing. He is speechless at his own foolishness. He showed an inch of vulnerability and expects to be raked through the coals for it. ...What he doesn't expect is acceptance, tenderness and respect.

He had forgotten that he wasn't the one to initiate this arrangement - that he was wanted. Desired. In his mind he had taken control: Everything happened when he wanted, where he wanted and in whichever way he wished. To be touched in a friendly way? To he apologized to - for being made to worry? To have make-up sex offered…? '…Yes. Alright.' Its the next layer peeled off. He starts listening to offers, enjoying being asked instead of being answered. It's still a casual affair - and yet seeing them talk to other people no longer makes his hackles raise in concern for his secrets. Running into them in the morning no longer makes his skin crawl with shame and embarrassment for the night before. He feels excited when they pay a visit in the midday, offering an impromptu meeting. It is oddly... comfortable.

Of course it can't always be sex in the midday. It is too much effort, takes too much time, energy and clean-up. It suits him fine when you jump on the chance to put him in your mouth. At first he is a little taken-aback - but it feels nice. He says nothing other than contented hums, but as you get better he groans and arcs his back a little. He doesn't care what happens when he finishes - swallow or not, as long as it is not a mess for him to clean up. …Well, he tries to be that callous about it… but it doesn't last long. There is a tenderness to the act he can't deny. It isn't the mutual-benefit fucking. This is a gift for him to enjoy. That realization settles and festers in him. It creates a soft feeling he doesn't recognize... and a desire not to owe you anything.

So, without much fanfare: he reciprocates. He gets you on his seat, or on his desk, and gets down on his knees... He is a little nervous about it - when was the last time he did this, if ever…? - But he has no need to be. He is a god with his mouth. It's his attention to detail. His devotion to getting things done thoroughly and properly - even this. What starts as an embarrassing action from the weakness of his heart turns into a strong pleasure for him. He LOVES oral. It isn't him losing control: it's him gaining it. Even when his hair is gripped and yanked, even if he is pulled close and suffocated a little on you - HE is making that happen. HE is making you do that. He never expected this to make him so happy, so hot. He never expected to undo the buttons of his high collar so his neck could move more easily, to unbutton and fold up his right sleeve so he could get his hands messy... To have enough fun to start saying some truly dirty things… 'That good, is it~?' 'My-! How delicate you are today!' 'Stop squirming. Too sensitive…? Just grit your teeth and bear it.' ...and he didn't expect to not be laughed at for such things.

He certainly didn't expect to get so into it that he kissed you to shut you up as you came. A shock to both of you… another wall crumbled. Turns out he likes that too. He starts initiating sexual activity with a kiss. He prefers kissing to talking. It is succinct and expressive. Walk into his office: as soon as the door is shut your back is pressed against it, wrists in his hands, his mouth against yours. If he starts losing control of the kiss he gently bites your lip, dragging his teeth along it teasingly. Your tongue invades his mouth before he has a chance to do it first: he just about shoves your hands into his robes, tearing into your clothes... This man lives for kissing now.

But he still doesn't realize this is more than casual, that this is something he needs… Until you chat. Its a quiet moment. You comment on the parchments rolled at the edge of his desk. 'Oh - that is just my own research into the effects of aconite. I had to work with it extensively a few years ago.' You take an interest, and he starts regaling deeper and deeper into his studies: how poorly documented others' research is; how it reacts to other ingredients; how modern brewing processes can draw so much more out of it - 'you know, the plant is often just passed off as toxic when even basic purification charms are enough to-' ...He is blabbering. On and on about a dull topic nobody cares about… yet you are listening. His jaw drops a little. He realizes that, for the first time in two decades, someone cares. Someone truly cares. About HIM. His thoughts, his interests... He never thought he could have this again. He didn't think that for the sex, either - but sex, compared to this, was easy to procure. He wants to kiss you again. But not for lust this time.

Suddenly it doesn't feel so embarrassing to allow his eyes to become wet, to draw a shuddering breathe as he builds the courage - of which he has masses of - to say something important: '…I am afraid I have come to love you.' It is a terrifying thing to say, but he has never once shied away from saying what is important, even if it results in pain. And yet this time, for once… he feels like he can trust that it wont.

** Many times later, he is laying down as his shirt gets unbuttoned, his collarbone kissed... He doesn't feel ashamed, even as he gently strokes his own dick, encouraging it to harden. He pulls his arms from his shirt sleeves, fearless of his dark mark being exposed. For once work is at the back of his mind as he allows himself to be pushed back down to into the pillows, chuckling as he is told: 'Shh… just lay still darling… I'll take care of you tonight…' ...And he does. Control well out of his hands and a smile on his face.

#severus snape #hp #headcannons

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