#sexuality is not the same as sex

[void-tiger]

If kids as young as 3-6 are experimenting with kissing the opposite sex ‘cause that’s what they see Mommy&Daddy doing and kids at that age mimic and it’s normal, I think they’re plenty old enough to have “Jaimie has two mommies, Susan has two daddies, Taylor has a mommy and a parent, and Henry has a parent and a daddy” conversations.

#tiger’s roar #child development #sexuality is not the same as sex #sexuality #romantic identity #gender #gender identity #…if there’s a preferred agender/enby term than parent please let me know #point is: agender/nonbinary/gender fluid/etc people are parents too #and like. smolger thought sapphic and apollian relationships Made Sense and were the coolest things ever (despite never seeing them modeled #so yeah. I already HAD those Ideas TM despite never seeing or hearing them at all #and kids really do start kissing eachother VERY young with ‘boyfriend/girlfriends’ as Mimic Play or Besties They Kiss/Crush On #(and this is not a complaint about my friend. this is about Certain Conservative Attitudes) #(literally had a conversation with my friend ‘cause she wasn’t mentally prepped for her kids possibly kissing #(when her friend’s kid had her first kiss during Playing House #(and quite frankly I’ve lost count of how many classmates kissed as tots + Cute Home Videos etc #(think her initial panic cooled down a bit with ‘yes kids do that. it’s fine’) #but…yeah. kids see cichet heteronormative relationships modeled for them ALL THE TIME #if you’re intentionally trying to Model Good Couple Behavior then congrats. you’re also modeling your sexuality #it won’t turn your kids straight or cis. same as seeing ace and aro and sapphic and apollian and trans won’t ‘turn’ your kids either

[craycraybluejay]

You know how a pretty obvious majority of kinksters are submissives? You want to know a big part of the reason why it's hard to find a dom that's into the same hard kink you are?

Ask a hardcore masochist what they think of being whipped.

Then ask a hard sadist what they think of whipping someone.

Do you notice that the sadist/dom will often either dance around an answer or try to use soothing language/euphemism not unlike the way how in many places people are still expected to discuss sex if at all. Gentle, calculated language.

The issue is, especially with a new surge of purity culture overtaking so-called "leftist" online circles, is that fantasy becomes a moral judgement.

Sub with a noncon kink: "I want to be raped" (cnc but like. People can talk ab it how they want don't cancel me fr.)

Response from Normies: "well that's weird and kinda dark but ok"

Dom with a noncon kink: "I want to rape"

Response from Normies: "I'm calling the police and you should kys and you're also a sexual abuser and even though you haven't said anything about kids you're also also a pedophile :)"

Not only does the attitude of murderous hatred against doms/tops with hard kinks/fetishes/paraphilias make it difficult for them to practice those kinks (safely and ethically) out of fear of social backlash if it's ever found out even if both they and their partner[s] had a great time and are fine-- but, it actively puts innocent people in danger by equating thoughts and attractions of ANY KIND to the act of hurting others against their will. It equates fantasy, which can oftentimes be played out safely if in a modified way with real harmful actions.

Also, kink is still illegal in many places, so don't "its illegal" me about harder kinks. Law is not morality, none of us are free until all of us are free, etc. You get the gist.

You want to see more doms? Meet someone who can indulge your "scary badwrong" sexy feelings? Then maybe don't actively promote a culture where you put ANY kind of attraction or kink under fire. It doesn't matter if it'd be unethical to act out in real life. Some of the most common kinks worldwide are unethical as fuck to act out irl, including rape. That's why we have cnc, come on, guys.

You know what? In fact, you SHOULD actively shun people who shame others for their sexual feelings. EVEN if you think it's gross. EVEN if it wouldn't be ethical to act on irl. Let these types know that their puritan ideals are NOT accepted here. Let them know that if they want to go to church they can do that but not in your space, not forcing other (non consenting!) people to listen to their hateful and repressive ideology.

Like, hey, I'm not into ABDL, for example. But I will defend to the death other people's right to be into that. To think and feel whatever they think and feel. You think diapers are sexy? Great! I don't personally see the appeal, but you do you boo. There is no Correct Way to be sex/kink negative. Either you believe in thought crime or you don't.

And yes, this post includes "harmful" paraphilias (I put it in quotes because they're only harmful if acted on), sadomasochism, mutilation fetishism, etc etc. Every "gross" or "evil" kink, fetish, para you can possibly imagine. The stuff that makes you horny is just stuff that makes you horny, and being horny is normal. Being "weird horny" is also normal. No one deserves to experience shame, let alone public harassment or hate over feelings they most of the time don't Choose to have. Be mindful of puritan rhetoric and strike it down when you see it.

#important #psa #hard kink #nsft topic #pro para #pro kink #the 'dom shortage' #obv there are other factors but this is just a connection I'm pointing out #purity culture #purity wank #puritans #sex and sexuality #tw r@pe mention #p3d0 panic/the trend of calling everyone you don't like a p43d0phi13 despite that that's as i said before #NOT the same thing as csa or ANYTHING like that and simply an experienced attraction #attraction is not r@pe; foot fetishists r not going to randomly hump ur foot and same w ever other kink #thought crime #puritanism #the purity culture wave #discourse #except if you disagree pls block me this is a pro kink blog forever and ever #thoughts are thoughts #anti para people scare me bc if u think someone cant help but have sex with someone/something theyre attracted to... #what EXACTLY are you going to do if someone romantically rejects you???????????? #turning the argument around here. if this is your belief then i do not trust you around me and my loved ones #because if attraction is action then i am scared for the people you are attracted to #because it isn't. and the fact that you think it is says more about you than anyone you hate for their attractions

[prokopetz]

One of the more entertaining consequences of broadcast standards for children's media during the 1980s is that villains weren't allowed to express or directly imply the desire or intent to kill the protagonist, but they were allowed to openly state their intention to eat the protagonist – provided that at least one of the hero or the villain were non-human.

(i.e., human villain expressing the desire to eat a non-human protagonist: okay; unambiguously monstrous villain expressing the desire to eat a human protagonist: okay; human villain expressing the desire to eat a human protagonist: not okay.)

This often led to interesting characterisation choices, like Shredder's strange preoccupation with making the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles into soup in the 1987 series – he's not allowed to threaten to kill them, but he can freely threaten to eat them!

#media #tropes #violence mention #death mention #cannibalism mention #i mean technically not *really* cannibalism because the villain and the hero were never the same species #but we don't really have a better tag for 'eating a sapient creature' #well #okay #we don't really have a better tag for *non-sexually* eating a sapient creature #sex mention in tags

[annabelle--cane]

I really don't think the majority of kids online are overwhelmingly sex negative or puritanical, I instead think that most kids who don't think like that probably aren't going to be posting about sex positivity on public accounts with their real ages listed. for very obvious reasons.

#[every sex positive space online explicitly bans minors from interacting] wow I can't believe no kids support sex positivity #marina marvels at life #like my opinions about sexuality have been mostly the same since i was like 16 #but was I posting about it then? absolutely not!

[kinardscoffee]

All these people out here picking apart every scene looking to "prove" that Buddie will happen obviously missed the scene where Tommy KISSES Evan and asks him OUT ON A DATE.

There's also the scene where Buck ACTIVELY seeked out Tommy at his job.

Tommy also called Buck ADORABLE and gave him space, so he didn't feel PRESSURED.

Buck also went over to Maddie's and GUSHED OVER HIS FEELINGS ABOUT THE HOT PILOT.

And let's not forget when BUCK ASKED TOMMY TO HIS SISTER'S WEDDING BECAUSE HE WANTS HIM THERE AND TO DANCE WITH HIM.

Lou Ferrigno jr said that we can expect the interactions between Buck and Tommy at the wedding to be "so cute" so please settle down.

Eddie and Buck will not be confessing love or having an accidental (or nonaccidental) romp in the sheets during the Bachelor party.

Okay?

Okay.

#and if Eddie can't get it up for someone who used to be a nun why would he be sexually aroused by a man?? #Catholics are hard-core against same sex relationships #i know because i grew up catholic #the guilt would eat him alive #911 fandom #911 spoilers #911 abc #evan buckley #911 speculation #eddie diaz #tommy kinard #911 #tevan #bucktommy

[scarlct-vvitch]

*im using "dating" to refer to any kind of romantic relationship, it just fits neater in the boxes! interpret as u see fit

pls leave your thoughts in the tags im genuinely very curious

#look ok yknow how a lot of ace people tend to be sexually active for whatever reason #im kinda wondering if the same principle applies here #my GUESS is that it does but also the two are very different #i feel like most people are more likely to compromise/want to branch out with sex rather than dating #like...sleeping with a partner even tho youre ace? makes sense #dating someone for months even when youre aro? makes less sense #idk im having Thoughts #reblog pls!!!! #aromantic #aromantism #aroace #lgbtqia #polls

[fuckspn]

wrote a whole long post about dean’s relationship to his queerness and then deleted it because i couldn’t put it better than: there is a word i know. but i can’t say it. i can’t think it. i’ll just keep drawing horses

#like as a teenager/young adult/probably through most of the series #i truly don’t think dean actually conceptualized himself as a queer person #it wasn’t that he didn’t notice that he was attracted to men #it was just that even though he knew that was what he was experiencing he refused to let himself think of it in those terms #thinking about kissing boys would be like thinking about getting to attend the same school for an entire year: #dad wouldn’t allow it so therefore it’s impossible and even the act of wanting it would be betraying dad #and so dean calls men buddy and brother and calls himself straight #and only a tiny voice in the very back of his mind even registers it as a lie #HOWEVER because this post is so bleak here’s a reminder that he does make peace with his sexuality eventually!!! #we are three years post-canon he is out to all his loved ones and has gay sex with his husband several times a week!!

[whatareyoureallyafraidof]

#LGBT #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #SAGA #equality #same-sex #marriage #gay #lesbian #transgender #asexual #bisexual #pansexual #gender #identity #sexuality #human #civil #rights #homophobia #transphobia #Tim Curry #Kim Petras #Sports Illustrated #Bud Light #Christians #Leviticus #Bible #Bugs Bunny #religion

[stuff-terfs-say]

I don't like genital preference discourse because 99 percent of the time it's a cis person who made up a hypothetical pro trans argument and got mad at it.

#I'm sure there's someone somewhere saying YOU MUST HAVE SEX WITH A TRANS PERSON FOR WOKE POINTSS >:( but I'm not them so #if you're not listening to me and instead building a strawman and accusing it of being a conversion therapy advocate why bother ya know? #for me I have internalized the fact that trans people exist and there's a non zero chance that a woman is trans #so I just accept that #the only real difference would be how the sex works and that might be an issue for other people and I'm not saying that's bad or good #I would personally cross that bridge when I got there #and if we're not sexually compatible then we'll split the same way I would with a cis woman who wasn't sexually compatible #it's such a nothing burger for me but there are people's whose entire blog is this #I made jokes before but if you are so terrified of your partner having a peepee don't have sex until you Know for Sure #or vice versa but I mainly see the discourse centered around trans women given how they are more sexualized in our society

[menalez]

Still confused how being raised in a religious background causes 'lesbians' to sleep with moids outside of marriage... Nobody at my church was promoting premarital sex and fornication.

I'll wait for the 'lesbians' to explain that logic.

how does being told repeatedly that being same-sex attracted will cause u to burn in hell for eternity make someone do whatever it takes to try to “fix” their same-sex attraction? idk seems blatantly obvious to me

#do u think premarital sex is considered equally as bad as or even worse than homosexuality? 💀 #people can repent and ‘regain’ their virginity but the ‘liberal’ interpretations will still argue u being homosexual is a sin in itself #so ofc theres going to be another level of desperation over being homosexual that won’t exist for simply having had premarital sex #unless u think a christian who had premarital sex and a gay person face equal mental anguish .. #married or not homosexual sex is bad. meaning if someone is gay they can never act on their sexuality #otherwise they’ve got a place in hell reserved for them. & they face homophobia which someone having premarital sex is gonna be spared from #so yeah. not surprising someone will do whatever it takes (yes even *gasp* have premarital sex) to stop being same sex attracted

[hajihiko]

Could we get a little doodle/writing of some sexuality headcanons you have for pride month?

I don't really have many, I'm pretty solid in my *vague hand gesture* opinion, but for those that I DO have, sure

#By vague hand gesture I mean that I don't really have firm lines between... Anything #Romance and love is very almost the same thing to me and I don't think about sex and sexuality in general #I mean I have some. But to me it's more like... Individual relationships and what you do in them without calling them sth specific #Ah I've talked about this a billion times you get it #Not an art

[araneitela]

Me staring at test results: It makes so much sense for her, but if I don't specify or elaborate, then we end up with the fanon take. Ugh, how do I easily explain that if you look at the word 'sex' through a much more old-fashioned lens instead of the modern one, that you'll get a vastly different picture of it?

/takes angycat.png typing to my tags

#[ ooc. ] don't try to make it logical or edit your soul according to the fashion. rather; follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly. #[ post-it. ] in a way; you are poetry material. you are full of cloudy subtleties I am willing to spend a lifetime figuring out. #[ i'm so tired. i need to write a post on this or something. and somehow add it to my pinned. in some way. ] #[ 'sex' and 'seduction' are /not/ wrong in my opinion. HOWEVER-- they are /very wrong/ if we go by modern labels and perception. ] #[ god the horror of writing a muse that is so interlaced in a modern world; setting and culture but seems to /ooze/ something archaic. ] #[ this level of refinement isn't of our times in my opinion. these things that she loves aren't commonly loved nowadays. ] #[ there's so much about her that is old-fashioned to me and it's so in my face. and yet fanon doesn't see it. ] #[ i can't believe i'm an old millennial who's screaming boomer or older things. ] #[ but like can we acknowledge that sex in today's age isn't the same as it used to be? not /always/ but more generally so. ] #[ can we acknowledge that /seduction/ didn't always mean what people see it to mean now? ] #[ can we acknowledge that the FEMME FETALE TROPE HAS CHANGED /LEAGUES/ since the 2000s? ] #[ which is my biggest beef actually. and maybe all of my frustration plays into this most. it's that the femme fatale now is sexualized. ] #[ while that is /not/ what the femme fatale used to be. kafka plays into the old school femme fatale so well. film noir days. ] #[ i had this same struggle on yelan where they make VERY OBVIOUS draws to it by her music in her trailer. god; the jazz. ] #[ but kafka suffers from this so very much as well to a point where i don't dare to call her a femme fatale because then it's fanon. ] #[ the fanon i hate so much. ] #[ but just uuuughhhh. UGHHH. it's so much to explain. ]

[inexplicably-spookified]

diversity win! this witch is bi... lingual?

#anise #murasaki #my ocs #scribblins #because i feel like dumping some worldbuilding: #witches don't really 'do' sexuality the way humans do #because their cultural understanding of gender/presentation is a lot different #tldr ambiguity and neutrality is the default and the specifics of someone's gender are none of your business #unless your relationship with the person requires you to know or they trust you #to the point where even asking for someone's pronouns is considered rude (you're expected to use neutral terms by default) #and even past that they don't have a perception of binary male/female or cis vs trans #you are what you id as and whether or not that's your 'birth' sex is irrelevant (most witches are a little gender fluid anyway) #anyway all this to say is that for anise being bi (or at least the same sentiment) is like... the default in witch culture #but in human culture while it's accepted it's still not the norm #and she's aware of that but knows she doesn't quite understand the full extent of how it's viewed #(hence her anxiety at telling mura) #wow i think this is the most oc lore i've shared publicly for a long time huh #to clarify... this has nothing to do with cs it's original verse stuff #the lines between my fan ocs and my actual ocs are extremely blurred do not ask me how it works

[best-enemies]

I've reached season 5 on my CSI rewatch and I'm a few episodes past "Swap Meet", where a woman is murdered after attending a swing party with other couples from the neighbourhood. Near the end of the episode there's a moment that made me jump from my seat:

(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two cups. He hands her a cup of tea.)

[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BRASS' OFFICE]

Erin Brady: Everybody fantasizes about other people. (She glances at Grissom.)

Even you, Mr. Grissom. A neighbor, a friend ... girl at the office.

[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY]

(The door opens. Paul Brady walks out of the hallway. Erin Brady walks out into the hallway. Sara is sitting in the hallway chair watching them. She watches as they meet and kiss.)

(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two culps. He hands her a cup of tea.)

LIKE!!!!!!!

Right after Erin ends her sentence with 'girl at the office', the first time Sara and Grissom meet again, he brings her tea. This might be an innocent interaction but to me it seemed like a nod to this relationship they have where both are into each other, know about the other's feelings, but can't/won't do anything about it (although Sara has kind of given Grissom an ultimatum). I don't know if it was intentional - I'm guessing it is, because I picked it up immediately. I might or might not have squealed in delight.

#csi #gsr #i'm very Normal about them btw i don't think about them 50 times per day or anything #need to talk more about these two here #because im obsessed about them in a Normal way #sara is like. my dream wife. i totally get grissom being in love with her for years and barely holding it together #i would not though #i'm 1000% sure she's bi. but the writers have been cowards so far #also she and i dress THE SAME. yes i love 2000s clothes so what #i could talk about her forever she's everything to me #and grissom. oh grissom. i also get why she's been in love with him forever #i mean what the FUCK went down in san francisco did they hook up and sex was so good it scared them #and now they have to live with that tension and they're scared of crossing that line #nah i'm guessing with these two they just REALLY clicked. like. they were an instant match and they knew it #but grissom didnt want to lose focus on work or whatever and they lived in separate states you know #but oh my god i totally get sara. grissom is such a silver fox. he's like one of the hottest old men i've ever seen in my life #you know what i 100% get tumblr sexualizing old men it's completely valid i'm in this now too #he has this LOOK. whenever he's angry at a suspect. and he looks angrily at them. i'm chewing on my keyboard just remembering it #and his smirks #AND THE WAY HE LOOKS AT SARA #im losing my mind #i love all of gil grissom but seasons 4-5 jesus fucking christ #ok enough with the sexualizing i love him as a character SO MUCH. he's absolutely fantastic #one of the things i love the most about him is that he doesn't judge people. whenever the team is confused about someone #or this persons' lifestyle #he's always trying to understand them and not judge them #like a true scientist he wants to understand the nature of things and people #and he's such a sweetheart i love him so much #like there are so many things i love about him i can't fit them all in the tags. same for sara #they're a perfect match for me