#shadow just like me fr fr (not good at expressing excitement)

[popmybrains]

Soft Lies [ Astarion x She/Her Reader ]

Pairing: Astarion x She/Her Pronoun Reader

A/N: This is meant to take place pre-events of the game so the reader is not intended to be Tav but can be if you so wish. This was also posted on A03 under my account so if you see this there that was also me. This is just a little short story I felt like writing nothing exciting lol.

Warnings: Angst

Summary:

“I’ve been doing some thinking,” he finally said, his voice steady but tinged with an unmistakable sadness. “And I’ve come to a decision.”

Her heart skipped a beat. The words were not what she had expected. “A decision?”

Astarion nodded, his eyes fixed on the ground. “I don’t love you.”

The sun dipped below the horizon, casting long shadows across the secluded glade. Its where Astarion had arranged to meet her just before the sunsets. She had expected a pleasant evening, a moment of intimacy with the vampire who had captured her heart. Together they had spent weeks, laughing and sharing stories. She had even dared to share her blossoming dreams of a life together, unaware of the shadow that would cast over his face.

It was then he started pulling away from her. She didn’t notice at first, not until he gently pulled his hand away from her touch the other day. How tense he would become during the times she would embrace him. It’s why she was so eager for this little rendezvous of his, excited he wanted to spend some time with her.

Running down the path that lead from her small town, she stopped at the edge of the forest slightly heaving from the run after her chores. Astarion appeared from the trees, stopping along the edge still in the shade the leaves provided - his demeanor unusually somber. He looked every bit the charming rogue she had come to adore, but his eyes betrayed a hint of sadness and uncertainty. As he drew closer, she noticed the tension in his shoulders, a tightness in his expression.

Breathing through his nose he began, his voice quieter than usual, “We need to talk.”

She smiled, hoping to ease the heaviness in the air. “Of course, Astarion. What’s on your mind?”

He hesitated, his gaze flitting about the tranquil glade as if searching for words that eluded him. “I’ve been doing some thinking,” he finally said, his voice steady but tinged with an unmistakable sadness. “And I’ve come to a decision.”

Her heart skipped a beat. The words were not what she had expected. “A decision?”

Astarion nodded, his eyes fixed on the ground. “I don’t love you.”

She felt as if the world had shattered around her. The words hung in the air, heavy and impossible to ignore. “What are you saying, Astarion? After everything we’ve planned, after we even… you’re telling me you don’t love me?” Her voice trembled, this wasn’t how she expected the evening to go. 

He swallowed hard, a pained expression crossing his face. “It’s true. I don’t love you, and I can’t.”

Tears welled up in her eyes, and her voice trembled as she spoke. “But why? Why would you say that? I thought we meant- that I meant more to you, gods sake I even let you feed off me...”

Astarion reached his handout to touch her cheek only the flesh of his arm being touch by the ever fading sunlight. His fingers brushing against her skin before he quickly withdrew his hand. “You don’t… I was just, using you. And it’s is for your own good, if this ends now.”

Fury surged within her, a tempest of emotions threatening to consume her. “You can’t just end things like this, Astarion! You owe me a better explanation than you don’t love me!”

He stepped back, his eyes filled with sorrow. “I’m sorry… It’s over.”

With that, he turned and walked away, her alone in the glade, her heart shattered into a million pieces. She watched him go, unable to comprehend the abrupt and inexplicable end to their relationship. The silence of the meadow was broken only by her anguished sobs.

Astarion didn’t look back, didn’t see the tears streaming down her face. He had done what he believed was necessary to protect her from the lurking danger of Cazador, but it had come at a heavy cost. As he retreated into the darkness, his tears fell freely, his heart aching with the knowledge that he had pushed away the one person he cared for the most.

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #astarion x you #angst #angst with a sad ending

[bisexual-horror-fan]

Here’s a request and a half for you Bex. Mickey finds out you’ve got a blood and/or knife play kink and he uses it to his advantage and he decides to mix than into the home invasion kink he has whilst dressed as Ghostface. I’m unsure if she KNOWS it’s him or has absolutely no idea but she loves it anyway

I’M ALREADY SCREAMING INTO MY PILLOW IN ANTICIPATION

OKAY! SO! I went, so hard. I know! I KNOW! Three fics in one day, been a while since we did that but fuck it, I got the inspo and the energy and so I threw myself into this and I hope it hits! It isn’t super long but fr it is a HARD hitter. Enjoyyyy CJ!

—

Rating. Explicit. Length. 2K. Mickey X FEM! AFAB! Reader. No Pronouns Specified However. Warnings: Talk Of Consent, Kink And Safe Words. Knife Play. Blood Play. Home Invasion Scenario. Chase. Established Relationship. Mickey Is SO Down Bad For You. Nipple Play. Pain Play. Vaginal Sex. Waxing Poetic. Reader Doesn’t Know Mickey Is Ghostface. Emotions. 

—

“A Good Ol’ Fashioned B & E.”

—

You and Mickey had movie date nights in either of your apartments frequently, and would swap picking movies but you both had very similar tastes. It was a lot of passing horror movies back and forth, he picked tonight’s fare, you and he on the couch, his arm slung casually around you, bowl of popcorn in your lap. You are engrossed in the movie and typically he is too but he can’t help himself, he likes looking at you from time to time on these movie dates, like right now, in the low light and during times like this, it gives him a real glance into how you feel. 

And right now there is a look he knows far too well. Eye wide, brows raised, bottom lip tugged on by your teeth, breathing quicker than it should be, you are turned on. His eyes flicked to the tv, seeing the killer on screen, he broke in and was taunting the lead with his knife, some cuts already on her exposed skin, he was manic, she was terrified and when his hand eventually made its way into your pants when the credits were rolling you were wet. That told him all he needed to know. 

He brought it up a bit later on, he waited for a good time, you and he were walking home after a party, you had some drinks, were feeling good, he asked, “Hey I just wanted to check in on something, if that’s cool?”

“Yeah Mickey, shoot.” You told him and he took your hand as he said, “I wanted to know if there was anything else you wanted to try together, like sexually.”

“Oooh, okay, was waiting for this conversation.” You teased with a giggle and he asked, “Really?”

A hum and a nod, “Yeah, shocked it took this long. So what do you want to do?” 

“What? You aren’t gonna share first?” He asked and you responded with a shake of your head, “Nope. I know you got something in mind so spill.”

He scoffs with a roll of his eyes, he tugs on your hand and pulls you off the walking path, you follow his lead and find yourself pushed gently against a tree, leaning against the bark and looking up at him, leaning one arm on the trunk above your head he sighed out, “You’re so pushy, you know that?”

“Says the guy who literally dragged me into the shadows and physically pushed me against a tree.” You tease and he says, “Alright, you gonna shut it long enough for me to be all fuckin’ vulnerable and suggest what I wanna do?” 

“Yes, I can do that.” You nod and he says sincerely, “Thank you. So. I was thinking about doing a role playing thing.”

“Oh no shit.” You are excited by the prospect, “What did you have in mind?”

“Maybe me in a costume pretending to break in?” Your heart stops, the scene spills into your mind unbidden, live and in startling clarity and vivid colour, Mickey masked and dressed up, he breaks in, he chases you, tackles you to the ground, roughs you up, has his way with you. Fuck, you want it more than you might have wanted anything. An ultimate fantasy of yours, one you have gotten off to more than you should. 

He must notice, your expression probably changed, he laughs, leans in closer, “Seems like you’re into the idea.”

A small nod, “Yeah I…I uh, I think I could get into that. If you are. You know, for you.” 

“Right. For me.” He sounded unconvinced, that big sadistic looking grin on his face he poses, “Okay, so, this weekend?” 

You have to hold yourself back from agreeing too quickly. You talk a little more when you are sober. A safe word is established but you tell him that you trust him and want him to go at it hard in the moment, that you could handle it and you trusted him. 

He checked in to make sure that you were sure, he confessed that he had some harder stuff he’d like to do but you doubled down confirming what you previously said and he told you, “Alright I’ll really give it to you then.”

Good God you could not wait. 

It happened on Friday. Kicked your weekend off right. 

Dinner had come and gone, you had a shower, gotten changed into a pyjama set you might have bought just for this. Silk with lace edges, a camisole tank and short shorts, you felt good and looked good and you knew it. You tried to keep it low key, tried to hide how you were doing inside, wanted to appear unassuming, normal but you were so turned on all night, wondering when he would strike, if he was watching you, stalking you through your windows. He gave you a few hour block he was planning on stopping by to keep the element of surprise and even with you expecting it when he does make his move, it does as it should, it catches you off guard. 

You didn’t even hear him until he wanted you to, you were coming from the living room, going to the kitchen, you treated yourself to some ice cream and were going to put the bowl in the sink but you hear the heavy footfalls and it makes you gasp, your shoulders raise and you turn and catch sight of him. A black robe, a white mask, you know that outfit! It’s the same one the Ghostface killers wear and you knew he was going to dress up but wearing that particular costume brought this to another level and instinct kicks in. 

You drop the bowl, it smashes, the spoon clatters and you move to turn forward again start to try to run but you are barefoot, the melted ice cream that had been in the bottom of your bowl is now spilled on the tile and with you hurriedly, suddenly, trying to move, you lose your footing. 

You slip.

He catches up far too quickly, he’d been running full tilt, he tackles you and down to the ground you go. The fall hurts more than it should, but the broken shards and pieces of porcelain from your now broken bowl saw to that. You cry out and he is quick to have you pinned, you struggle and squirm and he has you pressed to the floor, he is sitting on you and the pressure makes you groan out, “My leg-”

His hands still hold your wrists above your head firmly but he looks over his shoulder, sees the fresh cut on your leg, your thigh bleeding and that mask snaps back forwards, staring down at you. He says, “Drawing first blood so soon and so unexpectedly.”

it doesn’t sound like Mickey, that makes you clench around nothing, he moves, he is able to pin both wrists with one hand in this position, he is so fucking strong, he reaches down and back and you hear it again before you see it, knife is unsheathed and brandished in your face, “I’ll forgive you for not letting me get the first cut if you play nice and let me carve you up how I want.” 

Your eyes are wide, you nod shakily and he hums out, “Good choice.” 

He drags the knife down the length of your body, you squirm and he looks at your face from behind the black soulless eyes of the mask. You are playing up looking afraid but he knows you, he can see it, you are so fucking into this. You are extremely turned on, “Don’t make any stupid moves.” 

“I-I won’t.” You say quietly and he lets go of your wrists, he has slid down, was between your legs, one hand has passed over your chest, a brief pause to feel you up, palm your tits.

You notice the gloves he is wearing are leather, it feels nice, the smooth material on the silk encasing your beautiful body is such a nice sensation. He lightly smacks and watches how it moves in response, he does stop there, he is rough, he pulls on your nipples and relishes in the winces and sounds you make. His hand moves down, continues on and then comes to the hem of your top, he pushes it up, exposes your stomach and his knife touches you for the first time, he drags it and you shiver from the coldness of the steel, fuck, it is so sharp. He presses, he watches the skin move with the knife, watches it bow, soft flesh slowly gives way, the first official cut is made by him and you inhale harshly. He watches every response, how your body moves, the sounds you let out, the complex emotions playing out on your features and in your eyes and of course, the blood that is drawn. 

He always loves this. 

Cutting, spilling scarlet, the act is fantastic but doing this to you? His sweet, unassuming, unaware partner who is totally clueless that he does this all the fucking time and has actually ended lives, he is rock fucking hard under his black robe. 

His hand gets back into it, his thumb swipes over the cut, he spreads the blood, and the urge overtakes. That was the first slice of the night but it was not the last, not by a long shot. 

By the time he is satisfied, your stomach, sides, your thighs are all littered with cuts, your eyes have spilled tears down your cheeks, you had made the prettiest fucking sounds he’s ever, ever heard. You are slick with sweat and your skin is covered with the blood, your brand new pyjama set is wrecked, he’d cut the straps, exposed your tits that were covered in bloody hand prints from him touching you more, your shorts were off and now he was cutting the panties from you. Babbling out now, “I need you.”

His breathing is shaky at best, “You know that right? I’ve been watching you for so long, craving this, dying for it more than a man in the desert is for a drink of water.”

You listen, enraptured, the knife slides under one side of your joke of a pair of underwear, he cuts not that carefully and nicks your skin in the process, he cuts the other side and the same, the soaked fabric is disposed of in short order. “You’re gonna give it up, you don’t have a fuckin’ choice cuz if you don’t spread your legs for me-”

“You’ll kill me.” You said softly, filling in the blank, the look on your face, like you are drunk with lust is what has him leaning down and his face is so close to yours and he says, “Convince me you want me. Make me believe it so I don't gut you right here.”

You again, act on instinct. Your legs wrap around him, your hands come to the back of that black hood and you pull him down, what you do he wasn’t expecting, you kiss him but that mask, it was still on his face. You were kissing the mouth of that mask, the black, permanently twisted into a scream, fucked up mouth and he can feel it, through the layer of rubber he can feel your lips. There is more to it, this poetic nature. It holds more meaning to him, like you are accepting him, the killer side of him without realising it, giving affection to that part of his identity. You are throwing all you have into it and fucking hell, he returns it, you let out a pleased sound, you can feel him through the mask too, he starts to pull the robe up, he opens his belt, deals with his pants. Soon enough his hands on your spread thighs he is slipping into you, rushed and desperate. 

The moan is shared through the mouth of the mask at the stretch of him and the wet heat of you until it’s too much, he pushes it up and his actual mouth is on yours. He is kissing you deeply, you taste him, the real him, not the rubbery plastic that represents that unknown but fiercely true part of him. He starts to move, begins to fuck you, wandering hands, more smears of blood are spread, the pleasure and pain mix for you and the sounds of them elevates his own bliss and he is overcome with one feeling for you, complete and utter adoration. He loves you so fucking much for being you and giving this to him. 

He wishes you could do this every Goddamned weekend.

#OKAY #I do NOT know what got into me today #BUT HERE #Mickey Altieri x reader #slasher x reader #Ghostface x reader #BHF writing #BHF asks #SO #Uh #GOODNIGHT

[btnclmrttn]

I rewatched with my younger cousin Carmen sandiego and was thinking....

What if reader was an infamous theft criminal (cheeky little shit) and then there's saitama who is likely annoyed or just has pure excitement and determination because he keeps letting her slip from his grasp like bitchbsiwjke-

This is literally a Batman Catwoman and enemies to lovers sort of vibe

- ❤️

(omg the idea of Saitama letting shit like this slide is like him totally edging himself fr asdfghjkl I'm so into it. I hope the wait for this was worth it for you! Sorry I took so long. I really need to write more enemies to lovers fr 🤧)

Brief Encounter (Saitama/Criminal!Reader)

Saitama thought today was a good day to get his grocery shopping done to get it out of the way. Who knows how busy the week is going to be? There are always monsters, and crime, and ridiculous prices on fresh vegetables. It's sort of consistent...chaotic, but consistent.

It's nice having sunsets to look at on a walk, between the colors in the sky and what it makes everything else look like in its light. Sometimes that blue sky can be a bit of an eyesore. Just too bright sometimes. The buildings above cast large shadows that make everything less obnoxious and more calming.

Beside him, he notices a small moment in the shadow of a building that just catches his eye by instinct. He follows the shadow with his eyes up to where it's coming from. Is it a cat? He wouldn't mind seeing one right now.

"Oh, seriously?" Saitama groans, realizing it's a familiar figure creeping around subtly on top of the building.

There's you too. You mean trouble. Someone he thought was just a petty criminal at first that the police could manage has made a real name for herself. In such a short time as well. He can't deny that's rather impressive.

He really doesn't get you. All this skill and potential you have is just going to waste on dumb things. The way you act towards him, too. Well, it makes him feel weird, is the best he can describe. You're really weird...and persistent about it...

He sighs to himself as he makes his way to the building you're likely going to cross, scaling it with one jump and blocking your path.

"Hey! Don't tell me you're doing what I think you're doing."

The sudden unexpected appearance of him surprises you, making you stop dead in your tracks. He isn't wearing his hero suit today, though, he's rather casual. A rare sight for you since your encounters are typically "professional" in nature. You straighten up with a smile as you take in his nice look.

"...Well if you must know, I haven't even done anything, yet! What, were you spying on me?" You tease.

"Yet? It's kinda early in the week for your nonsense, isn't it?" he replies, ignoring your question.

"And you're keeping tabs on my habits?" you laugh as you place a hand on your hip, "Saitama, am I really on your mind that much?"

It crosses Saitama's mind how casual he's gotten with this criminal. They even know each other's names now, along with, well, yeah, he's gotten pretty familiar with her habits.

"Don't get the wrong idea here. You might just be getting predictable."

"Oh, predictable? Is that it? Could you explain to me, then, why a hero goes out of his way to chase me down but not catch me? Really, if I'm so predictable I'd be easy to ignore and avoid. Or maybe...tattle and get me caught?"

Getting called out like that makes his face break its poker expression for a more irritated one. His eyes can't decide whether to stay on yours, or the sway of your hips as you make your way to him, but he remains grounded.

"I'm not gonna go out of my way to do the police's job. It's not worth wasting my time on, anyway. Like I said before, though, you should really sit and consider your potential to be a hero if you're this good at what you do."

He does flinch a bit when your face slowly leans in closer to his, with his cheeks dusting a shade of pink.

"Then why "waste" your time following me like this, hm?" you purr, "You just that nice of a guy? Trying to be everyone's hero?"

The corner of his mouth twitches slightly, with his brows setting a bit lower as his pupils dance from side to side, taking in the color of your eyes, and down to your lips.

"Seriously, ____? This is getting pretty cheesy," he dodges the question. His whole body now draws back a bit as you close in more, trying to keep space so your lips don't brush.

You reach up and grab his blushing cheeks to stop him from going any further, letting your eyes fall to his lips before looking back up. You can't feel the warmth of any breath from him. He's holding it.

"Mm, I like the way my name sounds when you say it~"

There's a darker shade that tints his cheeks hearing that. He lets a silence draw out before he shakes his head from your grasp then steps away, pushing you back with his hand to your shoulder and looking to his side.

"...Now you quit that," he mumbles.

"You know as much as I love to sit and chat with you, I really do have somewhere to be," you say as you side step around him, "I would hate to be late."

"You really get on my nerves...," He grumbles to himself, now trying to just avoid being close by letting you get around him.

"So I do have an effect on you?" You ask, turning your head back to him.

Saitama stares you down as he looks at the corners of your mouth tugging up. He points a finger at you, his face unchanging.

"You need to get your act cleaned up...and your attitude. It's gonna all come back to you one day. I don't think you can handle the taste of your own medicine."

"Well, if you ever have a day where you're more free, I can show you exactly what I can handle~"

The sultry sound of your voice sent with a wink makes the hand that pointed at you clench into a fist, redness sinking into Saitama's face deeper, "Will you- will you quit that!?"

"Enjoy your day off, Saitama!"

"Now wait a seco-"

A loud pop rings out before smoke fills his field of vision.

"Smoke Bomb?! THAT WAS REALLY CLICHE!" He shouts as his eyes navigate through the thick smoke. It wasn't hard to catch your location again, watching you run off. To him it's almost baffling. He could easily catch you. Hell, he could snatch you up and have you thrown in jail by lunchtime.

Yet he watches you make your escape, his eyes following the movement of your legs, up to your behind, your back, until you're out of his line of sight completely.

Saitama let's out a long sigh while he pinches the bridge of his nose, "This lady...I swear...why do I keep letting this slide?"

He rubs the tingling parts of his cheeks where you touched him as he starts walking off, grumbling to himself.

#opm #one punch man #saitama #opm x reader #saitama x reader #saitama hcs #saitama headcanons #saitama opm #saitama/reader

[pjsk-writin]

HI OMG IM OBSESSING OVER THIS AUDIO (i’m not a dsmp fan but it’s making me go BONKERS.) CAN U DO PJSK BOYS X READER WHERE BASICALLY

they’re arguing and the reader goes

“‘You forget yourself!’ [their name] you forget where you stand next to me. You are in my shadow; act like it. Maybe it’s now a coincidence every single idea you’ve ever had has failed under your guidance. You are a walking second place medal.” AND BLAMMMM

IM SUPER EXCITED FOR AKITO AND RUI ESPECIALLY OK TYSM AMIA AND TAKE UR TIME!!

-🦇

HI!! its a good audio fr..... but THIS MADE ME SO SAD TO WRITE....i don't usually write angst so i hope this is ok- also prepare for the quote to be copy and pasted 4 times lol- I hope you like this!!! <3

♡ SECOND PLACE MEDAL - Akito Shinonome, Toya Aoyagi, Tsukasa Tenma and Rui Kamishiro x Reader

Akito:

Akito honestly had no idea what started the fight, but he was never one to back down, especially when you were returning the aggression

It seemed to be going pretty normally, until he threw his hands up in frustration

"Holy fucking shit, what's wrong with you?? You forget yourself!-"“‘You forget yourself!’ Akito, you forget where you stand next to me. You are in my shadow; act like it. Maybe it’s not a coincidence that every single idea you’ve ever had has failed under your guidance. You are a walking second place medal.”

He was in shock. The most he could do was stand there in silence, staring at you with wide eyes. You...You didn't mean that, did you?

One look at your resolve, and he realized you weren't joking. He let out a bitter laugh, glaring at you before turning away

"You think I don't fucking know that?! All my damn life, I've been trying to prove myself. To my family, friends, fans, but especially to you." His back was turned to you, but you could see how his shoulders shook. "I guess now I know I'll never be able to."

With those last words, he left, leaving the both of you to think over the entire conversation.

Toya:

Toya didn't know how the fight started, and he wasn't going to stop to ask. His main priority was getting you to calm down

He was trying his best, keeping his voice level, but when you weren't calming down, he sighed in frustration

"Honestly, I don't know what you want from me. You forget yourself-"“‘You forget yourself!’ Toya, you forget where you stand next to me. You are in my shadow; act like it. Maybe it’s not a coincidence that every single idea you’ve ever had has failed under your guidance. You are a walking second place medal.”

He was simply frozen after that, staring at you in silence. He...He knew you were upset, but for you to say that?

He stayed silent before sighing, allowing his entire body to relax. He took one look at you, and you could see the defeat in his expression

"...I know." He looked away, that was all he could really say. He was used to not living up to people's expectations, anyway.

The two of you were left in a silent standstill, neither of you moving or saying anything.

Tsukasa:

If there's one thing Tsukasa hates, it's fighting the people he loves. He knows it's necessary at times, but he hates it.

So, his number one strategy in fights is to try to deescalate. You seemed determined to not deescalate whatsover, though

"Please, can we just calm down and talk like normal? You forget yourself-"“‘You forget yourself!’ Tsukasa, you forget where you stand next to me. You are in my shadow; act like it. Maybe it’s not a coincidence that every single idea you’ve ever had has failed under your guidance. You are a walking second place medal.”

He froze for one second, before laughing in disbelief. You...You were totally just joking with him. You had to be.

He stops laughing once he realizes you're not joking. You had meant every word, and he stared at you before huffing

"You- You honestly believe that?" Another laugh escapes him, this one sounding closer to a sob than anything. "Ha, you- I'm not taking this from you!" He turns away, mostly in an attempt to hide his tears, "...Find me when you're ready to have a proper conversation."

He leaves, and the moment he knows he's out of your sight, he falls to his knees, sobbing.

Rui:

Rui finds arguments to be pointless. They usually turn into angry screaming matches, and he really doesn't have the time for those

Of course, when the two of you start arguing, he just argues back in a far calmer tone than usual

"My my, you seriously need to get a hold of yourself. You forget yourself-" “‘You forget yourself!’ Rui, you forget where you stand next to me. You are in my shadow; act like it. Maybe it’s not a coincidence that every single idea you’ve ever had has failed under your guidance. You are a walking second place medal.”

He immediately tenses after you say that, looking as if you had just slapped him across the face instead of shouting

You...He trusted you. He loves- loved you. Was this always how it was going to be for him? Despite everything, a sad smile slips onto his face

"...Ah, I see." He stands straighter, continuing to look at you with that same smile. "...Everyone will always look down at me, won't they? Everyone will always think of me as some- As some failure, some weirdo. Perhaps this 'second place medal' should do you a favor and leave, hm?"

Before you can respond, he leaves, that smile still on his face. He wanted to cry, to scream, but he couldn't do any of that. A disgrace like him should have expected this, anyway.

#pjsk x reader #project sekai x reader #akito shinonome x reader #shinonome akito x reader #toya aoyagi x reader #aoyagi toya x reader #tsukasa tenma x reader #tenma tsukasa x reader #rui kamishiro x reader #kamishiro rui x reader #🦇 anon

[mekorausada]

Blooming Panic: Full Bloom Edition Game Review

Spoilers Ahead

May I present to you Mystic Messenger's less overwhelming counterpart.

Blooming panic was something I played a few months ago while searching for something new and refreshing to play and it really did the trick Blooming panic has

Amazing art

Beautiful Voice Acting

Great Story

Interesting and Lovable characters (Both the romancable and the non-romancable ones)

Realistic Dialogue that I would see in an actual server (And fandom) from actual people.

Blooming Panic (Or Bloomic) has sort of the same hook as MM, you are a fan of a webcomic called Blooming Panic and one day you mysteriously recieve an invite to a server for fans of the webcomic.

Bloomic doesn't really focus on how you got the invite, why links to the server keep getting deleted and such until NakedToaser's route and its really a breath of fresh air from lore-heavy, confusing stories. Bloomic doesn't shine in its great stories in my opinion, it shines in its characters and their interactions with one another. When you play, it truly feels like you're in a fan server. The way they fangirl/fanboy over fanarts, Ship wars, some of the members being more devoted to Bloomic and others. Plus the way they respond is realistic.

So I've talked too long about the dialogue and not the characters, it is an otome game after all. There are a total of 11 characters who appear and 9 are active characters who appear and interact with you in every route and 4 are romancable. Each of the characters have very diverse personalities and play different roles in each route, I'm not gonna go over them all but I am going to be going over the lis and their routes.

The first is a menace to society, a lurker in the shadows ready to pounce you with a funny quip.. this is no other than our resident troll.. xyx. Holy shit did xyx remind me of so many people I know, hes got the same attitude, everyone treats him and his jokes the same way and he has the same dilemma. xyx was the first route I did and honestly, it was a bit over the place, I think his main conflict is his cat and his injury? but he had alot of stuff. Buut, very enjoyable. The voice actor(Mike Young) is absolutely wow (kudos to him for doing the tongue twisters lol). Overall 8/10 maybe?

Our next guy is a little jealous, a college student, has a bit of a habit of staying up, blonde, 5'7 and a cutie <3

Ah.. wait a minute.

There he is.. may I present to you, Night Owl. Nightowl is a bit overwhelming ngl. Honestly he scared me quite a bit, he is very loveable but he can get really expressive and it can become suffocating to stay, especially in the videocall where he gets drunk before his exam. Still, his story was very interesting and had me glued more than xyx's did. btw still waiting for that onion videocall, please onion route robobarbie

The next guy is buff and tired dad of the server, no other than Quest. Ngl Quest isn't really my type so I wasn't really excited to play his route but it was very sweet. One thing I have to say though, fuck societyboy, all my homies hate societyboy. Fr saw the joker movie and decided the joker was his idol smh. I ended up swooning over Quest though, hes the perfect mix of promising he'll bring you home by 9 and your daughter calls me daddy. very nice...

Last boy is Nakedtoaster, don't let his name fool you.. he is.. very serious. This is the last route you'll play and it will finally address the suspicious part about all of this. This is way more serious than the others routes than a we can get over this together! type of thing.. well it sort of still is like that. The reveal of who the author of Bloomic is also here lol, much more lore focused than the other ones, I was sort of tired doing his route and I just used the max speed option alot. Nakedtoaster's good ending is VERY satisfying though, seeing everyone come back and all. It felt so relieving.

So conclusion, definitely recommend Blooming Panic, its on itch.io so go download it and swoon.

10/10 voice acting, 8/10 story, 10/10 art, 9/10 characters and 9/10 script.

#game review #review #blooming panic #bloomic #blooming panic xyx #blooming panic quest #blooming panic nightowl #blooming panic nakedtoaster #otome review #otome game #otome #blooming panic full bloom #otome recs

[hotwings0203]

i’m thinking abt Police officer reader arresting scummy smexy Touya. Like he smirks when she arrests him and cuffs his hands to his back. I want him in me fr 😍‼️

Tw:none really, maybe sexual harassment and implied noncon

“Officer 776, we got a black sedan coming up your way on I-10. Do you copy?”

You sign and turn your music off before reaching for your walkie talkie and responding, “Yes, I copy.”

And sure enough, the only car that zooms by at 2 am on a Saturday night is a black sedan. It’s a shame, really, you were enjoying the city view by yourself without anyone to keep an eye on. You’re usually posted for ticket duty, but this time you got promoted for night watch.

You would’ve liked to continue leaning back in your seat and watch the only sky slowly dust with stars, but duty calls as the blue custom headlights go streaking past you.

Begrudgingly, you pull your driving handle back and start going after him, turning your lights on in the process and raising the siren.

You’re not even surprised when it takes some slight honking and almost a two mile mini-chase to get the car to pull over at the side of the gravelly road.

The car in front of you stalls, and you observe the status of the car itself. It’s hard to make out the look of the vehicle in the dark even with your headlights blaring in front of it, but you guess it’s a Mazda sedan or something of the sort just like how your higher-up said.

You take a deep breath and gather your flashlight as you open your door and swing outside.

On the short walk to the driver’s side you notice darker marks on the car…almost like they were scorch marks.

That’s strange.

The window is tinted and up. You roll your eyes in annoyance and give three sharp raps to the glass.

“Open the window and keep your hands on the steering wheel after.”

You wait a moment. It doesn’t budge.

A crease appears in your eyebrows and you quickly glance around. It’s completely deserted, just you and the perpetrator.

“I’m gonna have to ask you once more. Open the window otherwise-“

You cut off as the black glass slowly rolls down, revealing a man with ivory hair and black tips at the ends, his face scarred but astonishingly handsome. His mouth, eyebags, lower half of his face and ears are laced with silver piercings…stitches? Maybe, but whatever. Focus on the task at hand.

“What can I help you with meter maid?” Comes his sleazy, gravelly voice.

You lean down and rest an elbow on his lowered window, squinting at his smug face. His eyes are crinkled with the slight upturn of his lips, imitating a crude smirk.

No ones in the car with him, but you can faintly smell some kind of skunk aroma, and alarm bells go off in your head.

“Sir, do you know how fast you were driving?”

“Fast enough apparently, if I copped a sexy thing like you all for myself.”

He props his chin on his scarred hand and rests his elbow right next to yours, mocking your petulant expression.

You grimace and move your hand away from his. He pouts as you continue berating him.

“It’s 2am on a weekend, sir. Where were you headed off to that you had to be there in such a rush?”

The man sighs loudly and lets his head fall back against his leather seat, lips puffing out and fingers moving to drum against his steering wheel.

“Oh you know, the usual. Fucking bitches, getting money, anything a no-good handsome bastard like me does on the regular. Not like I’d expect you to know, meter maid.” He smirks showing his white canines and slowly looks you up and down.

When you scowl he raises his hands innocently and shrugs.

“Just kidding sweetheart. I was actually on my way to burn a few bodies, I’m a hit man y’know. Very much on the wanted list. I’m good at what I do…if you ever need a man, or a body,just call me.” He winks and his infuriating grin doesn’t falter as you yank open the door and practically throw his lanky figure out of the car.

He doesn’t put up any effort of resistance, just lets you push him down by the neck onto the hood of his car, his body bent as you begin searching him.

You know you smell some type of drug in the car but you’re not actually rooting through his pockets looking for gold. You just want a little bit of saving-face from his sleazy mouth.

He exhales and laughs as his cheek smushes against the black steel, his breath puffing up condensation on the hood while you pat his sides down.

“Put your hands on the car sir, and don’t move unless you want to be taken into a cell overnight.” You mutter as you feel his studded belt, his white tee revealing a toned yet sharp body underneath.

The man sighs in faux annoyance. “What’s with the attitude babe? If you’re feeling me up you might as well lose that cold shoulder. The name’s Touya by the way, I would’ve given it to you sooner if I knew you just wanted to get under my pants.”

You freeze as his words register right when you pay down his inner thighs for any suspicious substance-just following protocol.

Nevertheless, you instinctively shoot your hands to your side and sputter indignantly.

“You-you can’t talk to an officer like that! Are you drunk? Count to 100 for me.” You try to divert the conversations to where you have the upper hand, but you should’ve known Touya wasn’t gonna let it be that easy.

“Sure thing meter maid. It’s 1-800-*******.”

“What?”

“That’s my number. Be grateful, I don’t usually give opps my digits that easily, but you’re giving me a fun time so why not?” He cranes his head toward you and licks his lips seductively.

You’re thankful for the darkness of the night, for you can surely feel the best rise to your cheeks at his blatant…flirting?

“Shut up. Just let me do my job asshole.”

The walkie talkie crackles with static as your supervisor calls in to check on how you’re doing, but before you can speak into it Touya cries out suddenly.

“Help! Oh, help me officer! This meter maid is touching all over my little willy! She has ulterior motives I swear it!” He moans loudly and you snap the device shut before turning to him.

“Are you fucking crazy? Do you want me to get fired?” You hiss, but all you get in return is a maniacal grin.

“Sure, ‘means you can fuck around without any protocol then, right?” The man starts arching his hips up in a perverse manner and shoves his ass back into your torso.

You snarl and reach over his back, grabbing both of his hands and slapping a pair of cuffs on him before manhandling him the other way, his face finally aligned with yours, back against the cool steel.

“Oh, so you like it rough, huh?”

You ignore him and drop to a squat, taking his combat boots off less-than-gently and shaking them out for any real baggie.

“Shoulda’ told me sooner doll, we could’ve gotten this along wayyyy sooner.”

You slowly raise your eyes up and take in an eyeful of his thrusting hips mere inches from your eyes.

He’s looking down at you with one eyebrow raised and his usual smirk adorning his features.

Your blood rushes through your body like you just ran a marathon, and you abruptly stand before him, making sure your shoulder checks his straining bulge on your way up.

He yelps and doubles over, unable to clutch his prized possession.

This time when he straightens up with a twisted scowl, you’re the one grinning at him instead.

“Yeah, you’re right, actually. If you’re gonna get me fired anyways might as well do what I want, right?”

You open his passenger door and give him an innocent smile as he watches you warily.

After about 10 minutes of looting through his car and trunk, sure enough you produce a couple of large ziploc bags filled with white powder and copious amounts of cash under thinly concealed pockets in the back.

You hold all of these findings up, and each one of the revelations are either met with a mocking pout or a careless shrug.

Your skin starts to get hotter despite the chill of the night as none of your efforts to match his energy are met with any fruition. In fact, it seems to rile him up more.

“Looks like you’re getting tired hon. Why not use all that energy on this dick?”

“Hmm, I guess you’re not very good at this job, huh? You’d be better as some kind of stripper. Actually, nah, that’s too good of a job for you, maybe a prostitute stuck in my bed would satisfy you.”

On and on he goes as you practically raid his car, even throwing out belongings that aren’t in any way questionable.

Eventually you reach your tipping point. You make sure he’s watching you as you walk around back towards him and plant your feet squarely in front of him, taking your stance.

You reach into your pocket to produce your walkie, cock your arm back, and throw it as far as you can into the surrounding field.

“Where’s that smile now Touya? You scared you can’t defend yourself without anyone on the other side listening in?”

The ivory haired man shakes his head and sighs as if dealing with a grace loss. Your own brows furrowed as he looks up at you with a sorrowful expression, one that doesn’t quite scream sincere when the car lights reflect an excited gleam in his cerulean eyes.

“Nah, sweetheart. I’m actually more worried for you.”

And with a sound as soft as bell chimes, the tugs his hands at the back for a moment and brings his arms forward, palms spread and showing you cuff-less palms of blue hellfire.

He thinks you look pretty when the blue light reflects pure terror on your shadowed face.

“That was a stupid move, throwing your only hope of salvation away. I wasn’t lying, y’know. I really am a hit man. But I’ll take my own offer.”

As you turn to begin to sprint away he smiles again, this one more earnestly remorseful.

“I’ll be a hit man and a body you need for tonight.”

#mha #bnha #scummy dabi #scummy Touya #mha dabi #bnha dabi #dabi #touya #dabi imagine #dabi x reader #dabi is touya #touya x reader #bnha touya #mha touya #touya todoroki #touya imagine

[kpopfromtheblock]

a/n ⇾ surprise bitch! bet you thought you’d seen the last of me! 🤪 i’ve been here all along but just haven't felt motivated to write. i know it gets annoying to have to wait so long for updates but i appreciate those of you who have stuck by my side! ILY, FR FR. i try to make every update as good or better than the last so that its worth your while and sometimes that process can take me a long time… i hope y’all can understand that… i won't always update as frequently as other writers but i will get an update out at some point, just keep baring with me pls and thank you! ✨

THERE WILL NOT BE A PART 2 TO THIS, PLS DO NOT ASK.

LIFE WITH BANGTAN | ot7 + kth smut

009

genre ⇾ fluff, smut and a bit of angst.

pairing ⇾ bts x reader, taehyung x reader (smut)

summary ⇾ the boys forget movie night and they have to find a way to make it up to you, starting with Taehyung...

warning ⇾ idk, if i matters but i just want y’all to know this is very TAE X READER heavy... i mean it’s still ot7 x reader but just a bit more Taehyung focused... — smut, pwp, hand job, oral (f receiving), penetrative sex, dirty talk (a lot of dirty talk), fingering and more... — usual warnings: cringy-ness, swearing

words ⇾ 12k

. * 　　　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . * ⁺ ⁺

”Ugh!” You groan as you step out of the elevator. The cardboard box you’re holding in your arms isn’t too big but it is quite heavy. The box combined with the large backpack you’re waring is adding a bunch of unnecessary weight to your body and the journey to get to the boys dorm has taken longer than usual because of it… But you know this will all be worth it in the end, for tonight is movie night and hopefully the start of a monthly tradition with your lovers. 

The cardboard box in your arms and bag on your back are both filled with Disney movies… From the classics all the way up to the most recent ones available on DVD. 

Mayhaps you went a little bit crazy on Amazon, buying a total of one hundred and ten DVDs, some of which still haven’t shipped yet bc they are coming from countries outside of Korea and mayhaps, buying all those DVDs put a bit of a dent in your bank account but you’re almost one hundred…No, a solid ninety-five percent sure that this will all be worth it once you see the look of joy on Yoongi’s face after he watches the Aristocats for the first time or the tears in Jimin’s eyes during that one scene in Toy Story 3… Yeah, it’s gonna be a good night and you’re excited to experience it with your amazing boyfriends.

Finally making it up to the boy’s door, you put the box down on the floor and sigh, feeling relieved that you get to give your arms somewhat of a rest, even if for only a few seconds. You slide the shield of the keypad up and watch it illuminate. Quickly typing your customized pin in, the door beeps and you put your hand on the knob, twisting it open before it can lock again.

Once the door is slightly open, you begin kicking the box towards the opening, too lazy to bend over and pick it up again. 

A minute or two passes and you’re still kicking… You’re doing well, the box is nearly halfway through the door when suddenly the door is pulled fully open. “Oh!” You say almost following forward as you had been resting a lot of your weight on the door to keep it from closing whilst you kicked the box inside. “Darling~” You know immediately, without even having to look up, that it’s Taehyung calling you. The tone of his voice combined with the endearing nickname he’s been calling you since the day you two met gives him away. 

Before properly greeting him, you bend down to pick up the box again since you don’t have to worry about the door anymore… Picking the box up will probably go much quicker than kicking it. 

Once the box is in your arms again, you look up to meet Tae’s pretty brown eyes and boxy smile. You can’t fight the smile forming on your own lips. “Hello Handsome.” You tell him before leaning forward to place a single kiss against his soft lips.

“Why are you so dressed up?” You question, not missing the way the navy blue slacks and crisp white button up he’s wearing, compliment his tan skin. 

He takes the heavy box from you then steps aside to let you in without answering your question. “Oh fuck,” He groans. “What the hell is in here?” He asks. There’s a slight strain to his words as he struggles to balance the heavy box in one hand whilst he closes and locks the door with his other. 

Upon stepping inside, you see that the dorm is up in slight chaos.

One of the boys makeup artist and a friend of yours, Sua, is chasing Jungkook around with an eye shadow palette in her hand. There is a stylist you’ve never seen before, standing entirely too close to Namjoon while she fixes the collar of his shirt and Jimin is sitting on the couch while their hair stylist straightens the few fly-aways at the top of his scalp. 

Sua notices you first before any of the other guys do. 

“Y/n!” She stops chasing Jungkook to approach you.

Jungkook stops running around and Jimin looks up from his phone at the sound of your name being called.

“Hi baby!” Jimin says enthusiastically before waving at you. You look over at Jimin and give him a sweet smile. “Hi...” You say softly, waving back. You know he would’ve gotten up to greet you with a kiss if the man above him wasn’t holding a hot hair styling tool to his head. 

You look away from Jimin to see both Sua and Jungkook making their way over to you. 

Sua gets to you first and wraps her arms around you, engulfing you in a tight bear hug, which is slightly awkward since you didn’t have time to put your arms out to receive the hug properly. “Long time no see, how are you doing?” She asks against your ear before releasing you. “I know! I’m doing well, how are you?” You smile at her, although confused as to why she’s there, you are happy to see her. 

Sua has always been sweet to you and she was one of the first people to discover that you and the boys had something going on and even though she was a bit weary, she was supportive when she realized how much you really loved all seven of them and how much all seven of them loved you. 

Sua kept your secret until it was made knowledgeable to the rest of the staff and you have been grateful to her ever since. 

“I’m good! Just trying to get these boys of yours to sit still for a second. Especially this one.” Sua says pointing a thumb at Jungkook who is standing behind her with the brightest bunny smile. He waits eagerly for his turn to hug you. “I don’t know how you do it.” She continues and you chuckle. “Don’t worry, they run away from me too.” You joke and  both Sua and Jungkook chuckle. “I do not.” He protest, opening his arms for a hug. 

You finally take off you backpack, placing it on the near by chair and walk up to him. You wrap your arms around his waist and press your face against his chest. Your eyes close instantly at the warmth you feel being against him. Jungkook waste no time wrapping his arms around your frame, squeezing you against him.

Like always, you’ve missed your boys so much.

“I missed you.” He tells you, almost as if he can read your mind and you smile. “I missed you too Kook.” You confess before pulling away.

“Are you guys almost ready? Manger-nim will be here soon with the car.” You hear Namjoon’s voice from behind you. You pull away from Jungkook and turn to face the leader of the group. 

What is going on?

“Did I mixed up the dates for our movie night or…?” You mumble to yourself, thinking maybe you had read the date wrong on your calendar. 

You pull out your phone to check your google calendar, that holds all your important dates. You are usually bad with dates which is why you rely on your google calendar to keep track of everything.. You know once you put it in there, it’s official so you don’t understand how you could’ve messed this one up. 

The men around you seem to slow down their frantic movements at your words. “Babygirl…” Namjoon calls out and you look up to face him. The look on his face, makes you worry. His brows are furrowed and his lips form a slight pout. 

“Movie night... We completely forgot.” Your heart drops at his words. 

‘We completely Forgot’… The words are dramatically echoing in your head for some reason.

How could the forget the movie night you’ve been planning for weeks. 

“You forgot?” You ask for confirmation and Namjoon nods his head, a solemn look on his face. “Darling, we’re so sorry.” Taehyung’s voice catches your attention and you turn around to face him this time. “An event came up that we have to go to.... A car is on the way to pick us up.” He explains to you. 

“Oh...” You say, not able to hide the disappointment in your voice. Jungkook comes up to you from behind and wraps his arms around your waist. You don’t even have to turn around to know it’s him. It just feels like him, not to mention, he loves to give you back hugs. He pulls you close to his chest and then rest his chin on your shoulder. “Please don’t be upset.” He begs you but it’s too late. Your feelings are hurt. 

How could they forget? You think again.

“I’m not.” You lie and Jimin is the first to sniff you out. 

“Yes you are.” 

Hoseok comes walking out of his and Jimin’s shared bedroom. He is looking as gorgeous as ever in a suit that is tailored to perfection. Upon seeing you, he gives you his one hundred watt smile but suddenly, it fades when he notices the look on your face. “What’s wrong Angel?” He mumbles, softly. You’re about to shake your head and lie again but Jungkook speaks before you can. “She came for movie night.” Jungkook’s chest rumbles against your back as he speaks. “That was tonight?” Hobi asks, looking up into your eyes. His usual bright expression is now a little less bright when he catches the displeasure in your eyes. He can tell you’re upset and that you are doing your best to hide it but he knows you. He knows that look. 

You nod your head at his question, a broken smile gracing your lips. “Angel...” He starts before his long legs strut over to you until he is standing in front of you. He leans down to place a sweet kiss to your lips. Although you’re upset, you return the kiss as best you can with Jungkook’s arms still wrapped firmly around your waist. 

“It’s okay...” You lie again. 

“We’re so sorry baby.” Jimin apologizes and you shrug. “It’s fine.” Your fourth lie for the night…

Jin comes strolling into the living room with Yoongi not far behind. “Ok kids. Car is here. Let’s get going.” They both look too good to be true. Dressed in dark suits that seem to compliment each other. “Princess?” He greets your curiously. You give him a small smile. “Hi...” You say. “You look handsome. You all do.” You say truthfully.

Yoongi looks up at you. “Kitten, what are you doing here?” He asks in confusion. 

Seriously? No one remembered what tonight is… or was supposed to be? 

You feel like you’re going crazy, like you made it all up in your head but you know you didn’t. You remember planning this night... The eight of you agreeing upon this date so you don’t understand how this has happened...

You want so badly to tell them off but you also don’t want to start anything… You suppose it’s not their fault... You knew exactly what you were getting yourself into, the minute you decided to be with them, to love them… They have priorities and obligations to fulfill as the ‘World’s Biggest Boyband BTS’ but you wish that sometimes, they could be your boyfriends and just that alone. Even if, just for the day…

“I came for movie night but it seems you all have other plans.” You say, the words come out bitter than you intended but you can’t take them back now. 

“Don’t say it like that baby.” Jimin tells you, feeling guilt bubbling in his chest. Yoongi comes to stand in front of you after Hobi has step away to put on his shoes. “Kitten, why don’t you stay until we get back?” Yoongi offers and you’re about to decline his offer when you feel Jungkook press his lips against your neck. “Yeah stay, we’ll be back before you know it,” He whispers against your skin. 

“You guys know I don’t like to stay in the dorm when you’re not here.”

“Please?” Jimin begs. “If you’re not too tired when we get back, we can watch one of the movies you brought.” Jimin suggest, and the idea swims around in your head for a little bit… As tempting as it sounds, you know that they’ll be the ones too tired to stay up and watch movies with you.

“Guys we really need to go…” Jin reminds them, picking up his shoulder bag and his suit jacket off the couch. 

“You guys go ahead... You don’t wanna be late.” You tell them and you watch as Yoongi’s lips form a small pout. You usually lose your mind at how cute he looks when he unintentionally pokes out his lips but in this very moment, all you can do is give him a half hearted smile. He leans forward and kisses you. “I hope you’re here when we get back.” He says before walking towards the door. Jungkook kisses your cheek then lets go of you to follow his Hyungs out. Namjoon is the last to leave. He places a kiss at the top of your head then walks towards the door. “See you later Baby girl.” He says before leaving, the door slamming behind him. 

You sigh and turn away from the door. You are instantly greeted by the messy dorm. The stylists and Sua must’ve slipped out of the dorm while you were conversing with the boys because you were now left alone. In a big, empty, messy dorm. 

You decide to tidy up so the boys will have a nice cozy and clean place to come home too. Plus you need the distraction… You just got ditched after all. 

You pick up the movie box that Taehyung left on the counter and bring it over to the coffee table. You plop down on the couch and begin  unpacking the box.

You even went through the trouble of buying as many of the Korean subbed versions as you could find for some of the older classics like Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. You know Tae and Jimin have never seen those. 

You neatly stack the movies in the middle of the table, surprisingly the only clean spot in the house, before you begin tidying up the place.

. * 　　　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . * ⁺ ⁺

Cleaning kills about two full hours. You cleaned the the living room, vacuuming and wiping down all the surfaces. You also decided to clean the kitchen, making sure the dishes in the the dishwasher were clean and then packed away and the counter top was removed of any stains. You attempted to clean each of the boys room but gave up after picking up all the clothes thrown around in Taehyung’s.

After you were satisfied with the way the dorm looked (and smelled), you walk back into the the living room and plop down on the couch. Your eyes glaze over the large stack of DVDs you brought with you... Without even realizing it, a frown grows on your face. 

Cleaning had kept your mind off of the fact that your boyfriends ditched your planned movie night but now that you were done, now that you didn’t have anything keeping you busy, your failed attempt at spending quality time with your boyfriends was all you could think of.

You sigh heavily and pick up your phone. You decide to open the twitter app and browse around. Maybe one or two of the fifteen people you are following would post something to make you laugh…

You loved laughing, it always made you feel better. 

You were lucky enough to stumble across a few memes. You giggle at them and save one in particular to your camera roll to use later in your group chat. 

As you scroll further down, you come across a photo that makes your heart flutter with fondness. 

One of the BTS fan accounts you follow (just because you enjoy the memes they posts and all the cute edits), posted a picture of the guys. You knew instantly it was a picture of them from the night. They look exactly the way they did when they left and you distinctively remember Yoongi’s shinny dangly earring and how it looked pretty with his outfit.

The picture was taken mid laughter. The way Jimin’s eyes turned into crescent moons, how Hoseok’s mouth formed a prefect heart, the way Jungkook’s nose crinkle and his two front teeth made an appearance and how you could practically hear Taehyung’s deep laughter just from looking at the way his mouth was wide open and his head was thrown back… It all made your heart swell in your chest. 

You wished you could be the reason they were laughing or be there to laugh with them. You genuinely just missed them. You were looking forward to spending time with them tonight. You desperately wanted to be wrapped up in Namjoon’s arms, snuggled under a blanket with Jin beside you and Yoongi’s head on your lap while you play with his soft locks as he drifted off to sleep… The other boys gather near by. You always felt comfort when they were close to you. 

You suddenly felt a wave of discontent wash over you. You’re not usually one to let things get to you. You pride yourself in being someone who is very understanding, especially when it comes to plans changing but for some reason this situation is hitting you hard. 

It’s been almost a month since you’ve hung out, like really hung out with them. And yes, you’ve gone longer without seeing them as they were away on tour in different countries for months on end but this time they were back home. You could pop into a practice every now and then or sleepover at the dorm if you want to but they had been so busy this month (even with them being back home), that spontaneous visits were not in the cards for you which is why you were so looking forward to this night.

Exiting out of twitter, you decided to open the Message app. You go into the group chat named ‘Team Kim Seokjin’ and type out a quick message.

YOU to Team Kim Seokjin

hey guys, i hope you’re all having a good time. i finished cleaning up the dorm a bit and now i’m going to head home.

YOU to Team Kim Seokjin

i know you all wanted me to stay but it doesn’t feel right... anyways, be sure to text me when you get home. love you all ❤️

You sent the messages and locked your phone, not waiting for a reply. You stood up, grabbing your duffle bag and throwing it over your shoulder. You shut off all the lights before heading out the dorm. 

Your phone pinged, indicating that you received a text messages but you decide not to check it right away as you were too focused on getting back to your apartment. 

You hope the comfort of your bed would make you feel a little bit better…

Meanwhile on the other side of town. Taehyung and Yoongi were in the bathroom. The award ceremony they were attending had just called for an intermission so the two decided it’d be a good time to release some fluids. 

Yoongi was drying his hands when suddenly his phone vibrated in his pocket the same time that he heard another phone ping, the obviou sound of a text tone… He knew it was Tae’s phone as he was the only other person in the bathroom and Yoongi himself had yet to take his phone off of silent. 

“Hyung!” Taehyung shouts after flushing the toilet in his stall. “Hmm?” Yoongi hums in response. The stall door flies open and Tae hastily walks out, holding his phone up for Yoongi to see the text he’d just received from you. “She’s not staying.” Tae pouts. 

“What?” Yoongi says in confusion, not too sure what the younger male was getting at. 

“Y/n... She said she isn’t going to stay over’.” Taehyung says,

Yoongi squints his eyes, trying to get a better look at Tae’s bright screen before giving up to pull out his own phone. He unlocks it and looks at the text messages you sent, rereading them a few times to himself. “Ah.” He says in realization. “‘Ah’? She’s mad at us and all you have to say is ‘ah’?” Tae whines. 

One of the things Taehyung hates most in this world is when the people he loves and cares about are upset with him and you are at the top of that list. “I don’t think so.” Yoongi tells the younger man. “I disagree… I mean we basically ditched her…” Locking the phone and pushing it back in his pocket, Yoongi turns to the mirror and fixes a few loose strands of hair.

“Leave it to Taehyung to over react at a simple text message.“ Yoongi thinks.

 “She’s not mad. Trust me.” Yoongi tries to reassure Tae but truth be told, he actually didn’t know himself if you were mad or not… He understands why you would be upset, if you were but he also knows that you are someone who doesn’t get upset easily. 

As Yoongi waits for Tae to finish washing his hand, his phone vibrates again. This time, it’s a text from Hoseok.

HOBI to Team Kim Seokjin 

🥺🥺🥺 you won’t be there when we get back?

After reading Hoseok’s text, Yoongi instantly feels a twinge of guilt in his chest. He knows he shouldn’t... After all, he didn’t even want to come to this event but, it’s work. Something he had to do… He’d much rather be at home, cuddling up beside you on the couch, watching some stupid children’s movies… That would be a way better use of his time because it was time being spend with you and his brothers.

“Ready Hyung?” Tae’s question pulls Yoongi out of his head. He nods in response at the blue haired man before the two of them exit the bathroom, heading back to the others.

Yoongi decides that he’d call you as soon as the ceremony is over, to check up on you. He just hopes you’ll be awake to answers…

. * 　　　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . * ⁺ ⁺

A    W E E K    L A T E R

With groceries in hand, you struggle to put the pin into the keypad of your apartment door. After two failed attempts and almost being locked out permanently, you decide it would be easier if the grocery bags weren’t in your hand… You lean down to place the bags on the floor and just as you’re about to stand back up, you hear the most horrifying sound… The keypad beeps indicating that it has been unlocked and the door is being pulled open from the inside.

“What the fuck?” You mumble out loud. 

You swiftly stand up straight, ready to throw hands at the intruder but you are pleasantly surprised to see the one and only Kim Taehyung, standing in your doorway with a bright smile on his face. “Tae?” You say, releasing a breath you didn’t know you were holding. 

Although relieved to see your boyfriend and not some thief or lunatic… You were still a bit confused. “What are you doing here?” You question as he bends over to pick up the grocery bags for you. “I came to see you.” He states the obvious. 

Upon hearing his words, your eyes suddenly widen at thought of him coming into your apartment complex… 

In the middle of the afternoon… 

Where nearly a hundred other college students are living… 

Anyone could’ve saw him. 

You hastily look around then begin walking forward, pushing Taehyung back into you apartment at the same time. “Whoa…” He says slightly confused and startled by your sudden moves. “Someone could’ve saw you dummy.” You scold him and he simply chuckles at you. “I was extra careful.” He informs you. “I wore a mask and a hat and I came in through the back entrance.” He tries to reassure you before walking over to the kitchen to put your bags down. You scoff at him in both amusement and disbelief because you can’t believe that he really thinks a simple mask and hat is enough to hide his appearance… 

His fans could spot him even if he were dressed up as Bozo The Clown. 

“As if a mask could hide you from an ARMY...” You say sternly. 

“Someone could’ve saw you…” You repeat, your voice still a bit on edge as you take your shoes off at the front door. Tae doesn’t seem to care that he could’ve gotten caught sneaking into your building... And it’s not like he hasn’t snuck in before. He’s been to your place a handful of times but never at this time of day so you’re just a bit concerned but you’ll let it go for now…

You walk into the kitchen to see that Taehyung has started unpacking the groceries. You’re amazed by the fact that he seems to know where everything goes. You can’t help the way your heart flutters at how domestic the scene in front of you is but flutter in your heart simmer down just as a thought pops into your head...

What is he doing here?

“Not that I’m not happy to see you babe, but what are you doing here, seriously?” You start. “I thought you and the boys would be in the studio all day.” You say and he shrugs. “Well yes, we’re supposed to be… That’s where the members are now but I snuck away for a bit...” He explains. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.” Your eyes brows furrow in confusion. 

Why wouldn’t I be okay?

“Where does this go again?” Tae asks as he holds up the box of cookies and cream Rice Crispy Treats.

“Cabinet above the microwave.” You point to the spot you’re talking about and Taehyung nods before turning around to put the sweet treat away. You walk further into the kitchen to help him pack out the rest of the groceries. “Why wouldn’t I be okay?” You finally say, referring to his previous question. “Well ‘cause of the whole movie night fiasco last week…” He informs you before turning back around to face you. 

“Ahh.” You say in realization. 

So that’s what this is about... He thinks I’m still upset. 

You chuckle at the thought and walk over to the fridge to put the orange juice inside. 

“I’m okay my love, you didn’t have to come all the way over here to check on me.” You tell him. You feel bad that you gave him the impression that you were still upset. You don’t want him to be worried about something that you were no longer thinking about. “You’re our girl, of course I had to come check on you… I’m sure the others would’ve tried to come, had they known I was coming” He says. 

You close the fridge and look up at him, smiling fondly. You make your way back over to the grocery bags… You decide to just take everything out at once and line them up on the counter to make things easier for yourself and make the process of putting things away go faster. 

“You’re sweet baby but I promise you, I’m okay.” You reassure him.

“But you weren’t though… Right? Before you were mad at us?” By the tone of his voice you know there’s a pout on his lip. “Yes.” You say truthfully, not wanting to hide anything from him. “I knew it!” He exclaims. “I knew you were mad. Yoongi Hyung said you weren’t but I know you darling.” He says confidently. “I’ll admit…” You begin before closing the fridge and turning around to face him. “I was upset that night… Mainly because I just wanted to spend time with you all but I got over it.” You confess. 

“I understand that you all have priorities and-“

“You’re our priority.” Taehyung cuts you off… As much as you want to believe him, you couldn’t. Yes, you know they love you and you know you mean a lot to them but you also know that their careers, their fans, mean just as much and sometimes that means you have to take a back seat to that part of their lives... 

And that’s something you have to learn to accept. 

“Let us make it up to you.” Taehyung’s voice brings you out of your thoughts.

“There’s no need.” You tell him and there really isn’t… They did nothing wrong and there’s nothing they needed to make up for. “Aw come on,” Tae whines. “Sleepover, we have the weekend off!” He suggests and you have to shake your head immediately. “I can’t.” You state. “I have a big project due on Monday that I need to get started on.” He pouts cutely and you resist the urge to kiss that pout off his lips. 

“Ok, well just come over Friday night then… The guys and I miss you so much.” He takes a step forward and you take one back… For some reason, your subconscious is telling you that some shit is about to go down that you are unprepared for…

“Tae…” You say warningly. You hate to disappoint him and the rest of your men and you would normally never turn down the opportunity to spend time with them but you just didn’t think it’d be responsible to hangout when you have so much work to do and catch up on. 

And yes, you could bring your work over to the dorm but that just wouldn’t be logical... You’d get nothing done.

“Please?” You don’t miss the way Taehyung’s voice has dropped and octave lower. You look up to meet his eyes and as you expect, there is something dark… Swirling around in them. He advances towards you again and you take another step back, this time your lower back hits the edge of the counter. Taehyung places his hands on either side of you, locking you between himself and the countertop. There’s no where for you to run. 

“Please stay over.” He pleads again and for a split second your eyes land on his lips. They are slightly chapped but they look so inviting... “Let us make it up to you.” His words come out as more of a command than question. “Tae…” You say his name again, a little breathier than you expected but his close proximity is making you somewhat lightheaded… It’s not like you haven’t been this close to him before, hell you’ve been way closer but for some reason, the way that he’s looking at you right now, like he can’t wait to get his hands on you, like he can’t wait to put his mouth on you… It’s all very intense. 

“I already told you… I can’t.” 

“You can’t or you just won’t?” He asks you. His question kind of catches you off guard because he’s sort of got a point… 

It’s not that you can’t go over to their dorm on Friday night or that you don’t want to… It’s just that you don’t think it’d be the smartest thing to do with the word load you have on your table right now… “Darling.” Tae calls… He can tell by the expression on your face that you are playing with the idea of coming over, in your head. “Hmm?” You hum, looking into his eyes. This time, you’re the one to catch him staring at your lips. 

Somehow the two of you have gotten so close to each other that your faces are inches apart. You can feel his breath fanning over you as he speaks. “What do I have to do to change your mind?” He questions, seductively. His voice is as smooth and raw as honey. If lust had a sound, it’d be they way Taehyung is speaking to you right now... The tingle in your core seems to get stronger the more he talks.

You look at his lips one last time and because you can’t resist him any longer, “Kiss me.” is all you mange to say. 

Tae is on you in seconds. He smirks as his lips collide with the softness and warmth of your own.

Kisses with Taehyung always start off slow… Slow and sweet and extremely passionate and today is no different. He sucks on your bottom lip slowly and you moan at the feeling. “Mmm.” He moans along with you. He loves how plump your bottom lip is and the way it bounces back into place when he lets it go. 

Tae takes his hands off the counter and grabs your arms, that are still awkwardly at your sides to place them on his shoulders. You instantly wrap them around his neck and pull him closer. You run your fingers through the blue locks at the back of his head and gently grip them. 

You had been so thrown off by his lips on yours that you had forgotten what do with the rest of your body. 

The two of you are chest to chest as his hands caress your sides. You slide your tongue across his bottom lip, hoping that he’ll get the hint and sure enough he does, opening his mouth for you to slip your tongue in. The two of you swirl your tongues around each others, the feeling is sensual and sexy and is slightly overwhelming your senses but you can’t stop. 

Another minute passes and Tae pulls away from devouring your mouth so the two of you can catch your breaths. “So...” He says breathlessly. You lean forward and peck his lips again, wanting to taste more of him. He smiles against your mouth before speaking, “Is that a yes?” He asks with his lips against yours and you giggle… It seems the man in front of you is adamant in getting you to agree to come over and if you weren’t so horny and now, so extremely wet, you’d tell him off but unfortunately (or mayhaps, fortunately?), you are both of those things and it doesn’t help that Taehyung has decided to drag his mouth from yours to the sweet spot where your neck and shoulders meet, peppering kisses and sucking harshly on the skin there.

“Oh god,” You mumble to yourself. 

It feels so good. 

“Darling?” Tae calls you as your eyes flutter closed. You tilt your head to the side, giving him more space to work. “Hmm?” You can only give him a hum of a response because you think your brain is too clouded with lust to form a coherent sentence… So you just don’t.

“You didn’t answer my question,” He reminds you. His warm tongue runs over the patch of skin he’d previously sucked on. “What was it again?” You ask, having genuinely forgot what it was… He chuckles and slides his hands from around your waist down to your lower back, they rest there for a second or two before he moves on, sliding his hands over the curve of your ass. He grips it firmly and you gasps at the feeling “I said...” He begins. “Is that a yes… To coming over?” He pulls away from your neck to look at your face. 

Tae’s heart beats rapidly and the tightness in his boxers increases when he sees the look on your face. He always thinks you look beautiful but even more so when your eyes are filled with desire, much like they are now. He could just eat you up... And he will. 

“No.” You say, bringing the man in front of you out of his trance. He raises his eyebrow at you and you try to hold back a smug smirk from forming on your face. “No?” He asks, wanting to make sure he heard you correctly. 

“Nope.” You confirm, popping your ‘p’ and shaking your head. 

“Hmm,” He hums. You can tell by his tone that he knows you’re just giving him a hard time and he definitely doesn’t mind playing along. “I guess that means I’m gonna have to work a little harder to get you to say yes huh?” He questions you and you smile sweetly at him, “Bingo.” You say matter-of-factly. 

He knows exactly what you want.

A sudden mischievous smile graces his lips before his mouth is crashing on to yours again. Slow and sweet kisses will no longer suffice for such a moment between the two of you.... Everything now is fast and sloppy and so so good. 

You moan as Taehyung’s tongue pushes into your mouth. He tastes as delicious as the first time he kissed you and you swear you could loose yourself in his mouth alone. 

His hands come down to grip your thighs. “Up.” He grumbles in your mouth and you jump slightly, so that he can effortlessly lift you off the floor and on to the countertop. You can feel the groceries behind you, uncomfortably pressing against your lower back. You remove your hands from around Taehyung’s neck and bring them behind you to push the groceries out of your way so you have more room to move around… The whole time you’re doing this, your lips never leave his.

The sounds of heavy breathing and wet kisses fill the space around you... Also the sound of your favorite bag of chips hitting the hardwood floor but you have no time to dwell on that, not when one of your gorgeous boyfriends is making a mess of your panties and he doesn’t even know it…

Now with Taehyung in between your legs, you can feel how hard he is. He’s pressing himself closer to you and the sudden urge to feel and taste his cock is strong. 

Your hand is down his sweatpants and past his boxers before you know it. “Oh fuck,” He grunts as you grip his hard cock in your small hand. 

You don’t hold back, beginning to stroke him as best you can from where you’re sitting. The angle is a little weird and slightly uncomfortable for you and there’s a bit of restraint from his boxers and sweats still being on him but he seems to be enjoying it from the way his mouth has fallen open and his eyes are fluttering open and closed. “Feels good?” You ask, wanting to hear praises from him. “I-I’m... Fuck...” He’s struggling to get the words out and that is a boost to your pride, if any. You love that you can turn him into a puddy from just your hands. “I’m s-supposed to b-be making you f-feel good.” He finally get the words out and you smile. 

You think it’s so sweet that he’s thinking about making you feel good whilst your hands are on his cock. 

“We can take turns baby.” You remind him before you grab him by the collar of his shirt with your free hand and plant your mouth on his again. The kiss is all teeth and tongue as you continue to pump his length... You use your thumb to spread the precum over the head of his dick. “Y/n...” Taehyung breathes your actual name for the first time since he’s stepped into your apartment. “If you keep doing that, I’m gonna cum in my pants.” He warns you but that only encourages you to go faster. 

You stroke his length with determination. 

Your end goal is to get him to bust a nut… 

Right here… 

In your kitchen… 

In his boxers… 

While you watch… 

You want to make a mess out of him. 

“But isn’t that what you want baby?” You tease him. “To cum, right here in my hand.” Your voice is innocent but your words are so dirty that Taehyung can only growl at you in response before throwing his head back. “Fuck, your hand feels so fucking good around me.” He says through gritted teeth. “My mouth would feel better but we’ll get to that later.” You continue to pump his cock. Your pace goes from slow and steady to fast and hard and it’s making Taehyung loose his fucking mind. 

From the way his dick twitches and the way his face is screwed up in pleasure, you know he’s already about to cum. “Are you close my love?” You ask him sweetly and his heart feels like it might explode. The fact that you can switch from being so dirty to so soft and sweet while you rub him off, really throws him for a loop. You are truly the best of both worlds. 

“Yes...” He groans, finally bringing his head down to lock eyes with you and you bite your lip at the sight in front of you.

You don’t realize it but your hips are desperately gliding back and forth on the countertop, trying to get whatever friction you can… Even if its just the dull shift of your wet underwear rubbing against your folds every now and then… It’s better than nothing at all. Your boyfriend takes note of this, feeling a little guilty, as he was the one who was supposed to be getting you off but instead, here you are giving him, probably the best handjob of his life. He’ll have to make up for it later but right now, he can only focus on the fact that he’s about to cream his pants. 

“Oh God, please Y/n...” He calls out, his eyes haven’t left yours. The both of you are staring at each other so intensely that it feels impossible to look away. “What my love?” You ask him. You twist your hand around his throbbing cock as you continue to stroke him up and down rapidly. Your arm is about to fall off because of the constant change in speed but you refuse to slow down. “Please don’t stop.” He begs you, his voice strained. “I won’t… Not until you cum for me,” You promise him. 

“Are you gonna cum for me Tae?” You feel his dick twitch for the second time after you speak.

Your mouth starts to water at thought of how pretty his cock must look right now. So thick and veiny and probably tinted a pretty shade of pink… You wish you had taken it out of his pants before going to town on it so you could see it in action… You were too eager but it’s okay... You’ll have a better view of it, once you get your face down there to suck him off. 

“Oh f-fuck!” He groans loudly, halting your fantasies about his dick. “I-I’m cumming,” He stutters out, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as his mouth falls into a perfect ‘o’ shape. Your hand strokes him relentlessly for a few more minutes before you feel it... Tae releases his load all over your hand while your name falls from his lips repeatedly. You continue to pump him through his release, your thumb rubs over the sensitive head of his cock and he flinches at the feeling. “Shit...” He says and you giggle, before pulling your hand out of his boxers. The back of your hand is shiny and wet with his cum… Instead of letting it go to waste, you decide to give him a show... You look him in the eyes and lick the mess he’s made off the back of your hand... You’re not sure how sexy you look, licking your skin like a fucking cat would their fur, but Tae seems to be enjoying it and that all that matter. 

“Holy shit...” He says once you’re done, he comes towards you at full speed, lips colliding for the third time tonight.

Taehyung places his hands under your thighs, guiding you to wrap them around his waist. Once you do, he hastily picks you up and you squeal as he carries you over the couch. He basically throws you down on it… Thank God, you got a bigger one. The little two seater you had before would never work for what the two of you are about to do… 

Your boyfriend moves swiftly to help you pull your shirt off over you head and you have to laugh at how eager he seems to be. “Whats so funny?” He questions and you smile. “You’re just really cute when you’re needy.” You tease him and he scrunches his face in disapproval, making him appear even cuter than before. “I’m about to bury my face in your cunt and you’re calling me cute?” He says in disbelief. “Well, you are…” You simply shrug your shoulders with smirk on your face. “Shut up and get your pants off.” He says somewhat playfully before pulling his own shirt over his head. Your eyes land on his tan skin and his pretty collarbones.. You’re sure your drooling now at how good he looks above you shirtless and dark eyed with his pretty blue locks cascading over his forehead… 

He looks un-fucking-real… 

You begin unbutton your jeans but apparently you weren’t moving fast enough for Tae’s liking which seems to be a recurring theme whenever you’re about to get it on with one or more of your boyfriends… Taehyung impatiently moves your hands out of the way to unbutton your jeans himself so instead you work on your sports bra which actually doesn’t require much work at all… It isn’t the cutest one you own but it does have a zipper down the front which makes the removal process much easier and for that, you are thankful. You unzip the bra and slide it off your shoulders before dropping it on the floor beside the couch. You can’t stop your hands from caressing the tops of your breast then running your palms over your hard nipples. Tae’s hands would feel better but, he’s busy pulling your pants down past your hips. You lift yourself off the couch to help him get them off you. When they’re off completely, he takes the clothing and tosses them somewhere behind him. “Jesus,” He says as his eyes meet the large damp spot on your navy blue panties… “You were this wet the whole time?” He asks, looking up at you and you nod in response.

“Please take care of it Tae…” You plead… Now that he’s brought it up, the wet, stickiness between your legs is starting to get uncomfortable and since he’s the cause of it, it’s only right that he fixes it. “I’d love to.” He tells you before leaning down to press kisses on your stomach, right above the waistband of your panties. You bite your lip and look down at him, both your heart and your pussy are throbbing in anticipation for what is about to happen. 

Taehyung takes a chance and peaks up at your through his lashes… You are a sight to behold, laying here, so prettily and patiently waiting for him to make his next move… He thinks it’d be so easy to tease you and make you whine underneath him but he’s not a selfish lover and he desperately wants to repay you for the nut you made him bust not too long ago. He kisses the damp spot on your panties before looping his fingers in the sides of them. He pulls them down slowly and as your pretty cunt comes into view, he licks his lips. He can’t wait to taste you. “Hurry.” Your voice is soft and very desperate. “Sorry Darling, I just was admiring you…” He confesses and your face heats up right away.

Oh god, this man is going to be the death of me.

He pulls your panties off the rest of the way and tosses them in the same way he did your jeans, he then begins placing kisses one by one on each of your thighs… He takes his time, stopping every so often to suckle on your smooth skin… It feels amazing but you are loosing your patience. You whine out his name and he chuckles… After he just told himself, he wouldn’t tease… He can’t help it though, he just love to take his time with you. 

Tae positions himself more comfortably between your legs, hooking his arms under your thighs and spreading you open wider. He starts by licking a stripe from the bottom of your core to the top, just to get a taste. The tip of his tongue hits against your clit and you sigh at the feeling. Taehyung groans in delight when the taste of you glide across his tongue, igniting a fire in him to taste more. He flattens his tongue over your folds, licking his way back down before pushing the wet muscle between them. Your breathing is already starting to become rugged, the small pants leaving your lips are enough to boost Tae’s ego and he’s only just getting started. 

Gripping your thighs tighter to bring you even closer to his mouth, he begins lapping his tongue between your wet lips and your mouth falls open at his ministration. The back of your head gently hits the arm rest of the couch when Tae’s tongue hits your clit for a second time, this time he lets it stay there, rolling it over your harden bud slowly just before he sucks it into his mouth. “F-fucking hell..” You nearly screech out. His lips are locked around your clit and you can feel his jaw rubbing against your folds while his nose is pressed to the skin at the top of your cunt. You glance down to find his gaze is already on you. For a brief minute, you are able to see that his eyes are glossed over with lust before the flutter closed in pure bliss. 

The fact that he loves eating you out just as much as you love getting eaten out is just…. *chef kisses* 

You push your hands in his hair and grip from the roots, he grunts causing a small wave of pleasure to vibrate over your clit. “F-fuck!” You moan out, arching your back. Taehyung sneakily removes a hand from under your thigh, bringing it up to your wet pussy. He swiftly slides a finger in without warning, causing you to yelp and arch your back, “Oh my god…” You say breathlessly. He begins pumping his finger in and out of you slowly, his mouth never wavering. He sucks on your sensitive bud like it’s his favorite candy. 

Taehyung adds a second finger to your dripping heat and you clench tightly around them. He groans louder around your clit at the thought of you clenching around his cock instead. He knows he’d fit snuggly inside you and he can’t wait to feel your warmth and wetness engulf him but for now, he wants you to cum on his tongue. You taste so sweet and you’re so wet for him that he might just end up staying down between you thighs forever. “So sweet.” He mumbles exactly what he’s was thinking, over your clit. He then uses his tongue again, twisting the muscle in a circular motion around your clit while he steadily pumps his fingers in and out of you. You grab hold of your breast and pinch your nipples between the tips of your fingers to increase your pleasure. 

Your body is on fire… You can fill that familiar coil in your stomach starting to turn and he can sense it too… Almost as if he’s is in tune with your body… Not to mention the way you keep pulsating around his fingers. “Your close..” Tae mumbles, only loud enough for himself to hear. “C’mon Darling.” He mumbles again, in the same tone as he takes his mouth off your clit… 

You can hear him talking but it’s almost like you’re under water… The pleasure is deliciously overwhelming and all you can think about it cumming hard all over his mouth and fingers… You’re so close to that sweet release, it’s unbelievable… 

Now that his mouth is off your clit, Taehyung can focus on the look on your face. “Beautiful.” He, once again, mumbles to himself. 

He’ll never get tired of seeing you like this. Never, ever. 

He blows air over your aching bundle of nerves while he watches you become a quivering mess right before his eyes. 

The moment when he decides to curl his fingers up inside you, moving them back and forth as the tips of his fingers graze across that spot, is all it takes to send you into a frenzy. “Jesus, right t-there! P-please don’t stop!” You exclaim. He pops his head up further, the entire area around his mouth and his chin are g l i s t e n i n g with your juices. “Right here?” He asks, grazing his fingers over the same spot again. The way his words fall off of his lips combined with how he’s looking at you should be fucking illegal. “Yes, yes, yes!” You squeal as you orgasm begins blazing a trail through you body. “Oh fuck,” Tae groans, as he feels your fluids run down his palm… In an instant his mouth is back on your clit. He sucks your clit, mercilessly and the overstimulation causes tears to pool in the corner of you eyes. You try to push his head away from your aching cunt but he won’t budge. 

“Ah-h T-Tae wait, p-please.” You beg him. 

“I-I c-can’t!” You blurt out and he finally releases you from his mouth but his fingers stay in you just a little longer, pumping you as you come down from your high.

The wet sound of Tae pulling is fingers out of your cunt is sensitive to your ears. He licks his fingers clean the leans forward to kiss you and you’re able to taste yourself on his tongue, which causes another moan to escape you. “Do you think… You can take my cock right now Darling?” He asks in between sloppy kisses. “I need to be inside you.” He admits and all you can give him is a nod of your head. “Are you sure?” He questions. He doesn’t want to pressure you or make you feel like you have to do anything you’re not up for… He just really wants to feel you wrapped around him. 

“Yes.” Your voice is hoarse and barely audible but he hears you... 

Taehyung kisses you once more the leans up, you can make out the imprint of his hard member through his sweatpants, you can also see a few dry patches of cum from earlier and your mouth salivates for the hundredth time tonight.

When the blue haired boy above you pushes his sweatpants and boxers down in one go, his dick springs free and your eyes light up when you see the glossy, pink tip… 

Just as you remembered, it is gorgeous… He is gorgeous. 

You don’t get enough time to admire it because he is positioning himself between your legs again. “Ready?” He asks you sweetly and respond by leaning up to place your lips on his again. “Give it to me.” You encourage him and that’s all he needs to hear before slowly pushing himself inside you… No foreplay, no teasing… Just straight to the point. The both of you gasps into each others mouths when your warm walls engulf his thick cock for the first time in a while…

“Jesus…” He calls out and you fall back on to the couch, not having the energy to hold yourself up anymore. He begins with slow strokes, like he usually does. He leans down to meet your mouth again, repeatedly kissing you. “I love you.” He confesses and your heart does backflips, like it always does when they say those three words to you. 

“I love you.” You say back to him whilst his hips start to pick up the pace. His mouths falls on to your chest, peppering kisses on the valley between your breast before it comes to hover over one of your nipples. He pokes his tongue out and flicks it over your nip and you moan his name loudly as your eyes flutter closed. 

Tae pulls out of you, leaving just the head of his cock inside your warm, wet center. He mouth comes down and closes around your harden nipple… He doesn’t hesitate to suck it into his mouth right before he pushes back into you. “F-fuck.” You shout as your hands tangle in his hair yet again. He begins stroking into you at rapid speed… 

Your moans must’ve set him off… 

It’s almost like a flip was switched…

The way he’s ponding into you now is total contrast to how soft and gentle he was being earlier… Not that you’re complaining. “T-Taehyung!” You scream and he finally lifts his mouth from off your nipple, making sure to release it with a pop. He leans up and you’re able to see the beads of sweat rolling down his golden skin. He grabs hold of your legs, wrapping them securely around his waist.

“Scream my name again Darling.” He commands as he grabs onto your hips for support. “Taehyung!!” You scream again when he hits a particularly sweet spot inside of you. “You’re so good to me baby! I love your cock so much.” You praise him and he smirks… The man thrives off of your praises.

Tae bucks his hips faster, you lift your own up to meet his thrusts. Your skins slapping against each other mixed with your heavy panting is one of the prettiest sounds you’ve heard and you don’t want it to end but you don’t think that you’ll last much longer… And from the way that Tae’s head is thrown back, how his grip on you is getting a lot tighter, and the way his adam’s apple bobs in his throat, you know he’s close too. 

“Are you gonna cum with me Darling?” His voice is raw and he sounds so fucked out that it makes your pussy lips quiver… 

“Y-yes, yes I-I’m so close baby.”

“Argh! M-Me too,”

“Give it to me Tae, please..”

You hear him mumble another curse word under his breath and his thrust begin to stagger a bit before his releases his load into you… It takes you a little longer to reach your second orgasm but Tae doesn’t stop fucking you until you do, even with exhaustion starting to settle into his bones, he rubs your clit and continues stroking his dick inside you until you cum all over him…

Soon after your release, Taehyung collapses on top of you, trying his hardest to catch a breath. His eyes fall shut as he rests his head on your shoulder while you lazily run your hands through his damp hair. It’s quiet between the two of for quite a while… You’re both in post-amazing-sex bliss and are just enjoying being in each other embrace. 

You think that Tae has fallen asleep because his body is limp on yours, he’s resting most of his weight on you and his breathing is steady but then you hear his slightly muffled voice say:

“So we’ll see you Friday night then?” 

You toss your head back and burst into fits of giggles.

“This guy…” You mumble to yourself, whilst shaking your head with the fondest smile on your face. 

What am I going to do with you Mr. Kim Taehyung? 

. * 　　　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . * ⁺ ⁺

F R I D A Y    N I G H T

You arrive at the boys dorm at eight o’clock on the dot, like you were told. Stepping up to the front door, you quickly type your code into the keypad, the door beeps and you twist the knob and push it open before stepping inside. All the lights in the dorm were off, expect for the one in kitchen which casted a dim light into the rest of the open space. It seems like no one is home but that couldn’t be the case... Surely Tae wouldn’t have invited you to an empty dorm and furthermore, you texted him less than twenty-five minutes ago to let him know you were on your way so he had to be home.

“Where is everyone?” You mumbled aloud to yourself. 

Just as you pull your phone out to give Taehyung a call, you are startled by the sound of the toilet flushing. You whip your body around to face the bathroom door. You then hear the sink running. “Taehyung?” You call out but there is no answer. The sink is still running as you walk closer to the door. “Hello?” You call out again, a little louder and closer this time when suddenly the sink turns off and the door is being swung open. You are greeted by a pair of sparkly, yet startled brown eyes. “Oh!” Tae says placing his hand over his heart in shock. “Shit, you scared me.” He says, sounding like someone has knocked the wind out of him. You smirk, doing your best to hold your laughter in.

“I was calling your name...” You informed him.

“I’m sorry Darling,” Taehyung steps up to you and wraps his arms around your waist before pulling you into him. You place your hands on his chest to stable yourself. Your faces are inches apart, much like they were two days prior. “Hello beautiful.” He says sweetly. You feel heat rise to your cheeks at the compliment he gives. 

Will you ever get used to all the compliments and affection these men throw at you? Probably not. 

With the sudden urge to kiss the man in front of you. You lean in to close the gap between the two of you, pressing your lips to his. He instantly melts into you.  With his arms securely wrapped around your waist, he pulls you closer. 

The kiss begins to heat up. His hands begin roaming your body, slipping from around your waist to lay them on the small of your back. His lips are so soft today and you find it incredibly hard to pull away from him but you do before things go any further.

You reluctantly pull your lips away from Tae’s and he eagerly chases after you, always wanting more. 

“Slow down tiger,” You say jokingly as you put your hands on his chest to prevent him from getting another kiss out of you.

“I’ve missed you.” He confesses and you can’t wipe the stupid grin off your face… “Tae, we literally saw each other two days ago.” You remind him and he scoffs. “Why can’t you just say it back… You’re turning into Hyung.” He tells you, his tone bitter. You laugh, instantly knowing exactly which Hyung he’s talking about. “Leave Yoongs out of this.” You say, poking his chest playfully. “Speaking of Yoongs…. Where is he?” You say, looking around at what seems to be an empty dorm. “Where is everyone and why is it so quiet in here?” You ask curiously.

Upon hearing your questions, a mischievous smirk graces face. 

“What?” You ask, suddenly suspicious. 

“Come, I wanna show you something.” Tae removes his arms from around your waist to grab hold of your hand. 

“Show me what?”

“It’s a surprise.”

Hearing those three words cause a irritable groan to escape your lips. You hate surprises, really hate them…

You start to have flashbacks of the amount of times you’ve voiced your distaste for surprises and it had to be over twenty… Taehyung should know better. “Tae, did you forget that I don’t like surprises...” You remind him. “C’mon, stop being difficult,” He begins tugging you towards the front door but you are resisting. “And close your eyes.” He instructs you. “Oh God, no.” You pout, stomping your foot like a child. “I don’t wanna go.” You whine. 

“Hey, stopping being a brat.” He says, sounding somewhat annoyed with you… “Just close your eyes.” He adds. ”You close your eyes...” You mumble under breath… Tae hears you and laugh at your immature comeback. 

“If I close my eyes we’re both screwed, don’t you trust me?”

“With my life.”

“Okay then, close your eyes. I’m not leading you into danger... I promise.”

You scrunch your face up in discomfort… “That doesn’t make me feel any better flex but okay.” Your remark once again causes more laughter to erupt from Tae. “What am I gonna do with you?” He mumbles more to himself but you still hear him, you’re too worried about where he’s taking you to comment.

After a few seconds of hesitating, you finally close your eyes. “Ready?” You can feel Tae looking at you so you nod your head in response. “No peaking.” He warns you as he start moving again with your hand locked in his. Your free hand moves around in front of you… You use it to prevent yourself from running into anything. As you start to follow Tae further into the unknown, holding on to him for dare life, you take a chance and pry your left eye open. Just as you do, he turn around to check on you. “Hey!” He exclaims and you close your eye just as quickly as you opened it but it’s too late… You’ve already been caught. 

“I said no peaking.”

“I didn’t see anything and we’ve barely moved an inch,”

Tae sighs before letting go of your hand. “Wait here.” He says, before jogging down the hallway. “Where are you going?” You call after him and get no response in return. You roll eyes and wait, anxiously shifting side to side.

It takes him all of five minutes to finally make his way back down the hall to you. You raise a curious brow at him when you realize there is something in his hand. He holds the item up, letting you get a better look at it. “A tie?” You question, looking at the funky patterned accessory dangling from his hand. “I couldn’t find a mask or scarf… This will have to do.” Taehyung walks around you. “What are you doing?” You ask frantically. “Blind folding you idiot, since you can’t follow instructions.” He says nonchalantly. “Hey!” You turn around to hit his chest and he huffs out a breathy laugh at the contact. “I was kidding!” He tells you, before lifting the tie up to place it over your head then in front of your face. “Turn around.” He instructs you and you sigh before obeying his request. You decide not to argue with him anymore… The quicker you put the blind fold on, the quicker you’ll be able to get it off… Hopefully.

Tae securely ties the fabric over your eyes, making sure the large part isn’t covering your nose. “Are you okay?” He asks after stepping to the front of you and you know. “I guess..” You shrug and you can hear him chuckle. “Can you see me?” He questions. You can’t see him but you can feel him moving around in front of you, probably dancing or making weird faces. 

“No Tae… Can we hurry up and do this… I wanna take this off.”

“Ok, ok.” 

Taehyung finally grabs your hand and starts moving. You decided to grab onto the length of his arm, rather than just his hand. The closer you are to him, the safer you feel… And also if he decides to try and throw you down into a ditch, you’ll be able to pull him down with you with how tightly your holding on to him. 

You hear the sound of the front door being unlocked. “We’re going out?” You ask, nervously. “Yes Darling, but not far.” He assures you and your nerves calm down just bit. You know you’ve stepped out of the apartment when the cooler air of the hallway hits your skin. You hear the door of the dorm shut behind you and the beep of the keypad, indicating that it is locked. “Come.” Tae’s deep voice is comforting as he continues to guide you to your destination. You walk for a short period of time before briefly stopping so that Tae can open, what sounds like, another door. “We’re going up the stairs now.” He warns you. His voice is echoing in space you’re in and you body get goose bumps, not only from the chill in the air but also when you think of all the horrible scenarios that could happen while you’re blind folded. 

“Y/n?” Tae pulls you out of your own head. 

“Hm?” You respond shakily and he laughs. “Why are you being so dramatic?” He questions in amusement. “I’m not.” You protest and you can’t see him but you feel like he might’ve just shook his head at you. “You’ve gotta step up, okay? The first step is right in front of you.” He explains to you and you awkwardly lift your leg up and forward just a bit before putting it back down on the step.

With Tae’s help, you are able to make it up three flights of stairs. You’re tired and out of breath by the end of it. “I’m not in the right shape for this.” You complain and Taehyung chuckles. “You’re shape is perfect.” He says sweetly, the heat that rushes to your cheeks is evident but if Tae noticed, he doesn’t say anything. 

“Are we here?”

“Yes.”

“Can I take the blind fold off?”

“Not yet.”

You can feel Taehyung shifting around you for a bit, then you hear another door being open and another b rush of cool air slaps you in the face… “Ooo.” You say wrapping your arms around yourself. It’s not freezing cold but it’s the start of September and the weather is starting to change from summer to fall so it’s a little chilly. 

Taehyung puts his hands on your shoulders and nudges you throw the door way. The rest of you boyfriends are watching you amusingly as you put your hands in front of you in attempt to feel out your surroundings.

Jungkook is trying his hardest not to laugh out loud at how ridiculous you look flailing your arms about. Yoongi takes a little break from grilling the meat in front of him to glance at you and a fond smile graces his face when he does. 

“Is someone cooking beef?” You say out loud. Jimin and Namjoon’s eyes widen when pick up on the smell so easily. “It smells like a barbecue.” You admit and you can hear what you thought was muffled laughing in the distance but you’re not sure… You know it isn’t Taehyung because he’s right beside you. “Ok, I’m gonna take the blind fold off but you’ve gotta keep your eyes closed until I say…” He says. “Okay.” You respond, happy to just be able to get the fabric from over your eyes. 

Tae stands behind you and begins untying the blind fold. He is looking at his members with a knowing smirk as he does so. “Keep your eyes closed.” He says, as the blind fold falls from over you eyes. 

“Okay, ready?” Tae questions and you nod your head. “Open your eyes,” He whispers in your ear and you do immediately 

“Oh my god.” You gasps, placing your hand over your mouth in awe. 

“Surprise!” All seven of your boyfriends shout in unison. Before you know it, your eyes are beginning to pool with tears. 

The sight in front of you isn’t what you were expecting.

You are on the rooftop of the boys dorms, it is completely decked out with fairy lights and streamers. There’s a wooden bench off to the side with an array of foods displayed. There a cute little tent made of sheets and filled with what looks like the softest and fluffiest pillows and blankets, right across from a huge portable projection screen. 

There is a Disney movie already cue up… You’re not sure which on it is but, the blue screen with the infamous white castle is ever present.  

“Are you crying?” Taehyung suddenly asks, as he leans down to match your height so he can get a better look at your face. “No..” You lie, trying to subtly wipe away yours tears. “Aw~ My baby,” Jimin coos before he jogs over to you. He wraps his arms around you, engulfing you in a big bear hug and you sniffle, before hugging him back. “Please, don’t cry Princess... Our hearts will break if you cry.” Jin pouts as he shuffles over to both you and Jimin, wrapping his arms around the both of you for a mini group hug. “Me too!” Jungkook shouts as he runs over to the three of you. He tries his best to wrap his arms around all of you, snuggling close to Jin first and resting his head on the older male’s back. 

“I-I c-can’t believe y-you guys did t-this…” You’re a stuttering mess and it doesn’t help that your words come out extremely muffled because of all the bodies smothering your own. Jimin laughs because he isn’t able to hear exactly what you said but the shakiness of your voice is adorable. “What was that Baby?” He asks, moving back a little to give you room to speak but his arms are still securely around you. 

“Ok, I don’t think she can breathe… You all have to give her room.” Namjoon is amused at the display of affection in front of him. Jimin, Jungkook and Jin back away from you, giving you breathing space and when you finally look up to greet them, your eyes are puffy and red and your nose is slightly snotty. “Aww.” You can hear Hoseok say from across the room. He had been busy fixing one of the fairy lights and hadn’t gotten a chance to see you properly. Now, here you are, a snotty nose mess in front of him and all it makes him want to do is hold you close in his arms until you’re done crying.

“I can’t believe you guys did this…” You repeat yourself, this time a little more clearly. “We felt really bad about missing movie night,” Taehyung, who has now made himself comfortable in the pile of pillows and blankets at the side of you, confesses. “But I told you it was okay.” You say, voice still trembling. 

“Yes, we know thats what you said…” Hoseok starts. “But it wasn’t how you felt.” He adds.

“Yeah, we’re really sorry Princess.” Jin chimes in. “We know you were really looking forward to that night and we hate that we disappointed you by missing it.” He continues. You smile and grab his hand. You can see the guilt in his eyes, but you don’t want him to feel that way. “But all of this?” You say, looking around. “Not that I don’t love all of this but, isn’t it too much?” You ask shyly and by ‘too much’, you mean ‘too much for little ole you’… 

“It’s not enough!” Jimin exclaims and the rest of the boys chuckle. “This was all Jimin and Taehyung’s idea.” Namjoon admits. “Yeah and you know they don’t do anything half assed.” Yoongi adds as he takes the last few pieces off meat off grill to put them on a plate. You nod your head in agreement. “Thank you guys for this… It’s perfect.” You say truthfully. You’re sure the boys can hear in your words, how moved you are. Your chest feels like it could explode at any minute. “Anything for you Angel.” Hoseok is staring at you like you’re his whole world and it only makes your heart flutter more. “Let’s eat kids before the food gets cold… Then we can watch the movie.” Yoongi suggests as he takes a seat on the bench. The rest of you follow suit, gathering at the table. “What movie is it?” You ask after sitting down in between Namjoon and Jin. “Astro cats or something like that…” Yoongi shrugs his shoulder and you laugh knowingly. “Its Aristocats and excellent choice.” You tell him excitedly before digging into the food like the rest of the boys.

This is way better than the movie night you had planned and you can’t believe the lengths these men will go to make sure you’re okay. You almost feel like you don’t deserve it but you would never say that thought out loud as you know they’d scold you for even thinking it.

Just like always, you are feeling extremely blessed to be loved by such caring and considerate men and you are convinced that you are indeed, the luckiest woman in the world to have all seven of them by your side. 

#bts smut #bts x reader #bts x fem reader #bts ot7 x reader #bts ot7 #ot7 #bts fanfiction #bts fan fic #bts fluff

[frmartinshomiliesandreflections]

28th February >> Fr. Martin’s Gospel Reflections / Homilies on Mark 9:2-10 for the Second Sunday of Lent, Cycle B: ‘This is my Son, the Beloved. Listen to him’.

Second Sunday of Lent, Cycle B

Gospel (Except USA)

Mark 9:2-10

This is my Son, the Beloved

Jesus took with him Peter and James and John and led them up a high mountain where they could be alone by themselves. There in their presence he was transfigured: his clothes became dazzlingly white, whiter than any earthly bleacher could make them. Elijah appeared to them with Moses; and they were talking with Jesus. Then Peter spoke to Jesus: ‘Rabbi,’ he said ‘it is wonderful for us to be here; so let us make three tents, one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah.’ He did not know what to say; they were so frightened. And a cloud came, covering them in shadow; and there came a voice from the cloud, ‘This is my Son, the Beloved. Listen to him.’ Then suddenly, when they looked round, they saw no one with them any more but only Jesus.    As they came down from the mountain he warned them to tell no one what they had seen, until after the Son of Man had risen from the dead. They observed the warning faithfully, though among themselves they discussed what ‘rising from the dead’ could mean.

Gospel (USA)

Mark 9:2–10

This is my beloved Son.

Jesus took Peter, James, and John and led them up a high mountain apart by themselves. And he was transfigured before them, and his clothes became dazzling white, such as no fuller on earth could bleach them. Then Elijah appeared to them along with Moses, and they were conversing with Jesus. Then Peter said to Jesus in reply, “Rabbi, it is good that we are here! Let us make three tents: one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.” He hardly knew what to say, they were so terrified. Then a cloud came, casting a shadow over them; from the cloud came a voice, “This is my beloved Son. Listen to him.” Suddenly, looking around, they no longer saw anyone but Jesus alone with them.    As they were coming down from the mountain, he charged them not to relate what they had seen to anyone, except when the Son of Man had risen from the dead. So they kept the matter to themselves, questioning what rising from the dead meant.

Reflections (5)

(i) Second Sunday of Lent

Life has been very difficult for people in the last twelve months or so. It has been particularly difficult for people working in our hospitals, for our older people living alone, or in nursing homes. These months have been a real way of the cross for many. Many of you may have experienced a kind of darkness coming over you. At such times, we appreciate all the more some gift that unexpectedly comes our way to lift our spirits. I have heard people say to me how good it was just to get out for a walk. When times are dark, we appreciate all the more the small pleasures of life. We begin to realize that they are not so small after all. There is something truly special about these little pleasures, something of God even. In dark times we can find ourselves giving thanks to God for gifts that we might have taken for granted when times were better.

Today’s gospel reading is the story of a special gift that unexpectedly came to Peter, James and John,. It was an experience of light they badly needed. Just before this scene in Mark’s gospel, Jesus had begun to talk to his disciples about how he would have to undergo great suffering, experience rejection by the religious leaders, and be put to death by the political leaders. This information horrified the disciples, and Peter rebuked Jesus for expressing such dark thoughts about the future. For this, Peter earned the strongest rebuke of anyone in all of the gospels, ‘Get behind me Satan!’ Far from stepping back from his dark announcement, Jesus went on to declare to his disciploes that faithfully following him would entail the way of the cross for them too. The disciples found themselves in a much darker place at this moment than they ever would have anticipated when they left their fishing nets to follow Jesus. According to Mark’s gospel, it was six days later that Jesus took Peter, James and John up a high mountain by themselves. He needed to show them that beyond the coming darkness there was a great light, beyond the trauma of suffering and death there would be a new and glorious life, for him and for all who believed in him. Suffering and death would not have the last word.

The disciples’ experience of Jesus transfigured did not only points to a light beyond the darkness, it was itself a light within their darkness. The disciples saw the light of God’s presence shining through Jesus’ humanity in a way they had never seen it before, and would never see again until Jesus appeared to them as risen Lord. The unexpected gift of this heavenly light would sustain them during the difficult times ahead. We believe that we are all on a journey towards the eternal light of God’s loving presence. We are on a pilgrimage towards an eternal Easter where suffering and death are no more. We can also be assured that in the course of this pilgrimage we will be given glimpses of our eternal destiny, just as the disciples were given such a glimpse on the mount of transfiguration. Like the first disciples, we need God’s reassuring light here and now to strengthen and guide us as we make our pilgrim journey. The Lord will grace us with our own little transfiguration moments. According to Saint Paul, our ultimate destiny is to be transfigured. He says in his letter to the Romans that we are destined to be conformed to the image of God’s Son. In our course of our earthly lives, the Lord will give us fleeting glimpses of our final transfiguration. These are moments when we are touched in a special way by the Lord’s loving and life-giving presence. We come away from such moments renewed or transfigured, if only in some small way. At such moments, we can find ourselves asking the hopeful question Paul asks at the beginning of our second reading, ‘With God on our side, who can be against us?’ The settings for such transfiguration moments can be anywhere and anytime. We just need to be open to them, ready to respond when the Lord leads us up some mount of transfiguration, as he led Peter, James and John.

Such experiences will always be passing moments in this earthly life. We will have to let them go and come back to earth. In the gospel reading, Peter was reluctant to let go of this transfiguration moment, ‘It is wonderful for us to be here’, he said, ‘let us make three tents, one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah’. He wanted to freeze the moment, to hold on to the glory. He soon had to come down the mountain and face towards Jerusalem with Jesus. Yet, he was given a message on the mountain for the journey ahead, ‘This is my Son, the Beloved. Listen to him’. It is a message that is addressed to us all. We may not have transfiguration moments every day, but we can listen to the Lord every day. He alone is the beloved Son of God; his is the only word to which we must listen. If we really listen to his word, allowing it to shape our lives, then we will experience the light of the Lord’s presence, and the light of his word will bring us to our own final transfiguration.

And/Or

(ii) Second Sunday of Lent

  When I was a child growing up in Cabra, my father bought a little car, a Mini, as it was known at the time. This was in the early 60s when cars were just beginning to be bought in numbers. It was a great thrill to have a car, even if a very small one. On a Sunday, certainly in the summer, my father would take my mother, myself and my two brothers out for a drive. When we were in the car, before we headed out, he would turn towards us in the back seat and say, ‘Will it be the sea or the mountains?’ The sea was anywhere from Dollymount to Rush. The mountains were really the Dublin hills, but we used to call them the mountains. At the time I always had a preference for the mountains, and I was always glad when we headed south, rather than east or north. There was something about being on a height which I found exhilarating and exciting. It felt different up there. You were somehow above it all. You had a different perspective. The city looked better from a height, more beautiful, spreading inland from that natural horseshoe that is Dublin Bay.

 Peter, James and John made their living from the sea. They were fishermen. They must have spent long hours on the sea of Galilee or by its shores. In this morning’s gospel reading, Jesus takes them away from the sea, up a high mountain. There, on that mountain, they were given a new perspective on Jesus. They saw him as they had never seen him before, transfigured, his clothes dazzling white. In an earlier chapter of his gospel, Mark had described Jesus and his disciples in a storm at sea, the boat battling against the wind and waves. Now on the mountain, the storm must have seemed a distant memory as they were absorbed by an experience of Jesus that made Peter cry out, ‘it is wonderful for us to be here’. The hell of the storm had given way to this heavenly experience on the mountain. Yet, an even more hellish storm lay ahead for the disciples. They would soon come down the mountain and continue the journey towards Jerusalem, the city where they would experience suffering and loss and failure.

 In our own lives we will probably have experienced both the storm at sea and the peace of the mountain top. When we look back on our lives, the darker and more painful experiences can stand out for us. Hopefully, we can also remember times when, like Peter, we said, ‘it is wonderful to be here’. These were times when we felt deeply happy and at peace, when we felt alive. The gospel reading this morning invites us to remember those moments, to relive them, and to continue to draw life from them.

 I am struck by that little word ‘here’ in Peter’s statement. So often we can find ourselves wishing that we were somewhere else, not ‘here’, but ‘there’. We image that we would be happier if we were in a different place, or with different people, or doing different things. In some instances that can be the case. It can be important at times for people to move, because where they are is anything but wonderful. But at other times, our wishing to be somewhere else can come from our failure to appreciate what we have, where we are, the people around us now. Maybe if we saw more deeply, we would appreciate more fully the here and the now, and we might find ourselves saying more often, ‘it is good to be here, here in this place, with these people’. On the mountain top, Peter, James and John were helped to see Jesus more deeply than they had ever seen him before. They were captivated by the mystery of his identity, ‘This is my Son, the beloved’. They saw that there was more to him than they had realized. So often, there is more to the place we are in, and to the people we are with, than we realize. Our way of seeing where we are and who we are with can be very restricted. We can miss something important about the ‘here’ and the ‘now’. In one of our acclamations at Mass, we say or sing, ‘Heaven and earth are full of your glory’. We acknowledge in that acclamation how the created world is charged with God’s presence. That is even truer of the human person who is made in the image of God. God could say of each person we meet, ‘This is my beloved’. As God invited the disciples on the mountain to see Jesus more deeply, he invites us to see each other more deeply, to relate to each other in a way that acknowledges the wonder of our being.

 We can fail to appreciate what is all around us; we can devalue what is really worthwhile. We can even be tempted to destroy what is deserving of our love and appreciation. Abraham in the first reading climbed a mountain to destroy his son, believing this was what God was asking of him. Sacrificing children to the gods was part of the pagan religious culture in which Abraham lived. Abraham had to learn that this was not what God was asking of him. God’s words, ‘Do not harm him’, stopped Abraham in his tracks. On the mountain, God was calling Abraham to cherish life not to destroy it. In a similar way, God calls us to cherish life, to celebrate the wonder of life in all its forms, as the disciples celebrated the wonder of Jesus on the mountain. Then we might find ourselves saying more often, ‘it is wonderful to be here’.

And/Or

(iii) Second Sunday of Lent

 Most of us would be aware of times in our lives when we did not really do ourselves justice. The way we spoke or acted, the way we related to someone, did not really express our better self. We can look back at such moments and recognize that we fell short of the person we are called to be. We can show different faces to others, not all of them faces we would be proud of. Yet, even when we fall short of our better self, we know that we always have the capacity to make amends. We can set out again and make a new effort to let our best self shine through, the self that is made in the image and likeness of God.

 We would all like people to judge us not on the basis of our off days but on the basis of our good days, the days that do us justice. You may have had the experience of forming a judgement of someone on the basis of some negative experience you had of them. Subsequently, you had a very different experience of them, you saw a different face of them, and you found that you had to revise your opinion of them for the better. You came to realize that the negative experience you had of them was not a fair reflection of them; there was much more to them that you had initially realized. We need to be open to seeing people with new eyes.

 Unlike ourselves, Jesus did not show different faces to people. He always showed the same face, the face of God, because he was God in human form. He had no bad days, in that sense. Yet, many people perceived Jesus in ways that did not do him justice. Some of his opponents saw him in such a negative light that they considered him to be in league with Satan, ‘By the ruler of the demons, he casts out demons’, they said. They were blind to his true identity and completely distorted it, because they experienced what he said and did as threatening to their own position. Even Jesus’ own followers had difficulty in seeing Jesus as he really was. At times they wanted him to be someone different to the person he really was. At Caesarea Philippi, when Jesus declared himself to be the Son of Man who would suffer and die, Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. One of the faces of God that Jesus showed was the face of a suffering God. This was a face that Peter and the other disciples were very uncomfortable with.

 According to Mark’s gospel, it was immediately after this clash between Jesus and his disciples at Caesarea Philippi that Jesus took them up the mount of the transfiguration. There, Jesus revealed another face of God, the glorious face of God, and Jesus himself was declared to be the Son of God. His disciples saw Jesus in a way they had never seen him before. They saw him with new eyes. The glorious face of God was a face that Peter was very much at home with. Indeed, Peter wanted to prolong this moment as much as possible. ‘It is wonderful for us to be here’, he exclaimed, ‘let us make three tents, one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah’. However, Peter had to learn that the glorious Son of God who so enthralled him was also the suffering Son of Man who so repelled him. That is the significance of the word from the mountain addressed to Peter and the other disciples, ‘Listen to him’, listen to Jesus when he speaks of himself as the Son of Man who has to suffer and die. The two faces of God that Jesus displays, the suffering face and the glorious face have to be held together.

 Fundamentally, Jesus only reveals one face of God, the face of love. God’s love for us, God’s loyalty to us, was such that God was prepared to allow his Son to die for our sakes. Paul declares in today’s second reading, ‘God did not spare his own Son, but gave him up to benefit us all’. In today’s first reading, Abraham’s loyalty to God was so great that he was prepared to sacrifice his son to God. Even though God did not ask this of Abraham in the end, the incident reveals human loyalty to God at its most complete. Abraham’s loyalty to God is a sign of God’s loyalty to us. God is so loyal, so faithful, to us that God is prepared to give us his Son, even though that entailed his cruel and untimely death. Jesus declared that no one has greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. Jesus’ death on the cross revealed the face of God to be the face of a greater love. As Paul reminds us in that second reading, God revealed his greater love for us also in raising his Son from the dead, in giving his Son back to us, the Son who now stands at the right hand of God pleading for us. Here indeed is a love that is beyond any human love, a love that prompts Paul to ask his triumphant question at the beginning of today’s second reading: ‘With God on our side, who can be against us?’

 Our calling as people who have been so loved by God in this way is to show the face of Christ to others. It is that face alone that will do us justice as people who have been baptized into the body of Christ and who have received the Spirit of Christ. Our ultimate destiny in heaven is to be conformed to the image of God’s Son. Our calling is to show forth something of that image here and now.

And/Or

(iv) Second Sunday of Lent

 I came across a sentence in a book I was reading recently which struck me very forcibly: ‘all love relationships flourish only when there is freedom to let go of what is precious, so as to receive it back as a gift’. It is not easy to let go of what is precious. The more precious someone is to us, the harder it is to let go of that person. The more attractive someone is to us, the more we feel inclined to possess that person. Yet, in the effort to possess someone we can easily lose them. At the heart of all loving relationships is the freedom to let go of the other, and in letting go to receive the other back as a gift. Parents know that there comes a time when they have to let go of their sons or daughters, even though they are more precious to them than anything else. They may have to let them go to another country or to the person whom they have chosen as their future spouse. Yet, in letting go of their children, parents invariably discover that they receive them back as a gift. Single people too have to learn the freedom of letting go what is precious so as to receive it back as a gift. In any good and healthy friendship, people need to give each other plenty of space.

 In this morning’s first reading Abraham is portrayed as being willing to let go of what was most precious to him, the only son of his old age. In being willing to let his son go to God, he went on to receive him back as a gift. Many people find it a very disturbing story, because it portrays God as asking Abraham to sacrifice his only beloved son as a burnt offering to God. We are rightly shocked by the image of God asking a father to sacrifice his son in this way. Abraham lived about a thousand years before Christ. In the religious culture of that time it was not uncommon for people to sacrifice their children to various gods. The point of the story seems to be that the God of Israel is not like the pagan gods. If Abraham thought that God was asking him to sacrifice his son Isaac like the people who worshipped other gods, he was wrong. God was not asking this of Abraham. Yet, the willingness of Abraham to let go of what was most precious to him if that was what God was asking remained an inspiration to the people of Israel. He had already shown a willingness to let go of his family and his homeland as he set out towards an unknown land in response to God’s call.

 The early church came to understand the relationship between Abraham and Isaac as pointing ahead to the relationship between God the Father and Jesus. Like Abraham, God was prepared to let go of what was most precious to him, his one and only Son, out of love for humanity. God was prepared to let his Son go to humanity, with all the dangers that entailed for his Son. Saint Paul was very struck by this extraordinary generosity of God on our behalf, as he says in this morning’s second reading, ‘God did not spare his own Son, but gave him up to benefit us all’. God let his precious Son go to humanity even though the consequences of that were the rejection of his Son and, ultimately, his crucifixion. Even after Jesus was crucified, God continued to give him to us as risen Lord. When Paul contemplates this self-emptying love of God for us, he asks aloud, in the opening line of that second reading, ‘With God on our side who can be against us?’ Paul is declaring that if God’s love for us is this complete, then we have nothing to fear from anyone. Here is a love that has no trace of possessiveness, a love that makes us lovable.

 In this morning’s gospel reading, Peter, James and John are taken up a high mountain by Jesus, and there they have an experience of Jesus which took their breath away. It was an experience that was so precious that Peter could not let it go. He wanted to prolong it indefinitely and so he says to Jesus, ‘Rabbi, it is wonderful for us to be here, so let us make three tents, one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah’. He and the other two disciples had a fleeting glimpse of the heavenly beauty of Christ, and did not want to let go of it. Beauty always attracts; it calls out to us. Yet, Peter and the others had to let go of this precious experience; it was only ever intended to be momentary. They would receive it back in the next life as a gift. For now, their task was to listen to Jesus, ‘This is my beloved Son. Listen to him’. That is our task too. We spend our lives listening to the Lord as he speaks to us in his word and in the circumstances of our lives; we listen to him as a preparation for that wonderful moment when we see him face to face in eternity and we can finally say, ‘it is wonderful to be here’, without the need to let go.

And/Or

(v) Second Sunday of Lent

  When I was a child, my father bought a little car, a Mini, as it was known at the time. This was in the early 60s when cars were just beginning to be bought in numbers. It was a great thrill to have a car, even if a very small one. On a Sunday, certainly in the summer, my father would take my mother, myself and my two brothers out for a drive. When we were in the car, before we headed out, he would turn towards us in the back seat and say, ‘Will it be the sea or the mountains?’ At the time I always had a preference for the mountains, and I was always glad when we headed south to the hills, rather than east to the sea. There was something about being on a height which I found exhilarating and exciting. It felt different up there. You were somehow above it all. You had a different perspective. Everything looked better from a height.

 Peter, James and John made their living from the sea. They were fishermen. They must have spent long hours on the sea of Galilee or by its shores. In this morning’s gospel reading, Jesus takes them away from the sea, up a high mountain. There, on that mountain, they were given a new perspective on Jesus. They saw him as they had never seen him before, transfigured, his clothes dazzling white. In an earlier chapter of his gospel, Mark had described Jesus and his disciples in a storm at sea, the boat battling against the wind and waves. Now on the mountain, the storm must have seemed a distant memory as they were absorbed by an experience of Jesus that made Peter cry out, ‘it is wonderful for us to be here’. The hell of the storm had given way to this heavenly experience on the mountain. Yet, an even more hellish storm lay ahead for the disciples. They would soon come down the mountain and continue the journey towards Jerusalem, the city where they would experience suffering and loss and failure.

 In our own lives we will probably have experienced both the storm at sea and the peace of the mountain top. When we look back on our lives, the darker and more painful experiences can stand out for us. Hopefully, we can also remember times when, like Peter, we said, ‘it is wonderful to be here’. These were times when we felt deeply happy and at peace, when we felt alive. The gospel reading this morning invites us to remember those moments, to relive them, and to continue to draw life from them.

 I am struck by that little word ‘here’ in Peter’s statement: ‘It is wonderful to be here’. So often we can find ourselves wishing that we were somewhere else, not ‘here’, but ‘there’. We image that we would be happier if we were in a different place, or with different people, or doing different things. In some instances that can be the case. It can be important at times for people to move, because where they are is anything but wonderful. But at other times, our wishing to be somewhere else can come from our failure to appreciate what we have, where we are, the people around us now. Maybe if we saw more deeply, we would appreciate more fully the ‘here’ and the ‘now’, and we might find ourselves saying more often, ‘it is good to be here, here in this place, with these people’.

 On the mountain top, Peter, James and John were helped to see Jesus more deeply than they had ever seen him before. They were captivated by the mystery of his identity, ‘This is my Son, the beloved’. They saw that there was more to him than they had realized. So often, there is more to the place we are in, and to the people we are with, than we realize. Our way of seeing where we are and who we are with can be very restricted. We can miss something important about the ‘here’ and the ‘now’. In one of our acclamations at Mass, we say or sing, ‘Heaven and earth are full of your glory’. We acknowledge in that acclamation how the created world is charged with God’s presence. That is even truer of the human person who is made in the image of God. God could say of each person we meet, ‘This is my beloved’. As God invited the disciples on the mountain to see Jesus more deeply, he invites us to see each other more deeply, to relate to each other in a way that acknowledges the wonder of our being.

 We can fail to appreciate what is all around us; we can devalue what is really worthwhile. We can even be tempted to destroy what is deserving of our love and appreciation. Abraham in the first reading climbed a mountain to destroy his son, believing this was what God was asking of him. Sacrificing children to the gods was part of the pagan religious culture in which Abraham lived. Abraham had to learn that this was not what God was asking of him. God’s words, ‘Do not harm him’, stopped Abraham in his tracks. On the mountain, God was calling Abraham to cherish life not to destroy it. In a similar way, God calls us to cherish life, to celebrate the wonder of life in all its forms, as the disciples celebrated the wonder of Jesus on the mountain. Then we might find ourselves saying more often, ‘it is wonderful to be here’.

Fr. Martin Hogan.

[sqsupernova]

Art Spotlight: Rainworld [Fanart] by @powerfulmagics

Great job on the atmosphere and the colours. I love the glass so much, I don't know how you got it to look so shiny and reflective. That's really hard to do! And I love the way you interpreted the monsters xD … Those are some positively creepy-looking things in the tanks in the background. Really enamoured of the style in which you drew everything, especially Emma and Regina. This is really good! … woah this is great! Looks like a book cover, yet there's so much detail in it. I'm def intrigued, I shall check out this fic next ;) Thank you! … RANDI THIS IS FREAKING GORGEOUS!!!!!! Where to even start? Asdfghjkl THEIR EXPRESSIONS! You've nailed that wary/calculating/slightly on edge look. And EMMA'S EYES!!! I really love how you drew them! Especially the lower lashes, and the eyeshadow?(maybeit'sjustlightingoops)+sparkles beneath her eyebrows, it really adds effect!! And Regina in a hoodie is life tbh. And they're walking so close to each other omg catch me imagining them holding hands. And like your other piece, THE DETAILS asdfghjkl like I cannot find a single thing about this that isn't perfect (not that I'm trying to hahah) but you've literally nailed every single detail down to the water reflections on the octopus monster I'm sHOOK! You've captured this mysterious/scary vibe perfectly with the glass cages (which are super cool btw), the walls looking old and decayed, that electric machine and especially THE LIGHTING OMG. Like the way you've colored this is so amazing?? You've added shadows perfectly to portray this dimly lit, decaying, probably humid room that tbh would be pretty freaking terrifying to be in hahah. And the window + night outside and the blue light streaming in is such a nice detail! And also the text matches the vibe of the drawing perfectly and really finishes it all off so neatly! Omg I'm super excited to read the fic now and see how it relates to the art but I'm 5000 million light years behind on all things supernova asdfghjkl but I will get there. Someday. … it is pretty perfect from color to their facial expression and the two creatures . Well done as usual ! … hello! your art is beautiful! i love it so much! i adore the way you drew emma and regina, their faces are just priceless i swear. and hair, and all, just wow! and that octopus (???) looks really creepy. really makes me want to read the fic. awesome job!!! … Ooh. I love the cartoonish nature of this drawing. The colors are fabulous, and it fits the fic perfectly!! … This is amazing! wonderful work. … WOW. DUDE. this is literally a spectacular piece omg??? your style is so unique. truly, nobody does it like you, and that's to special tbh. i don't think I tell you that enough and you could definitely stand to hear it more!! because you are SO talented, a real artist!! i literally don't know HOW you do this *__* sooo I'm in love with the expressions on their faces and the backgrounds (the world you're painting them in). it makes me so INTRIGUED for this world and this story! … WILL I EVER GET OVER YOUR STYLE THOUGH. FR, you always blow me away and this one is just so cOOL. It fits the story PERFECTLY and you chose such an interesting/creepy part of the story for the cover too and it just all works so WELL. You captured the atmosphere and the intrigue of the fic a lot and I love having a depiction of the rain monsters omfg. Also your Emma and Regina are AMAZING AS ALWAYS, I love their expressions!!! I was so excited about this fic when I saw it in matchups and I then I was so excited later during reveals to see you had been matched up with it omg WHAT A GREAT COMBO AND THIS AND U ARE AMAZING. … It captures the scene in the story to the “T”. Amazing work! … I love the detail of the scratches on the glass of the tanks! This is gorgeous artwork!

Enjoyed this art? Be sure to give back and feed the artist! A happy, appreciated artist is one who’s going to be more motivated to gift us all with more of their beautiful work.

#swan queen #sqsn spotlights: art #sqsn spotlights: rain world

[padfootagain]

The Tavern (II)

Part 2 

Several people asked for a second part to this imagine, so here we go!!

Still 100% fluff because we need it!

Hope you all like it :)

Gif not mine

Word Count : 2630

Hours passed like days. It seemed that seconds had turned into minutes, and you were not sure to be able to hold on through the whole day. You were so excited, you felt like a teenager about to meet her crush all over again. You hummed softly as you washed a glass, memories of the previous night filling your mind and bringing a dreamy smile to your lips. You wondered what Thor would have planned for you tonight…

Your eyes drifted towards the burning sky, dusk spreading shadows all over the world and sky. You had closed the inn early to get prepared and make sure to be ready when Thor would come. And indeed, you had spent a rather long time choosing the right clothes to wear, and fixing your hair in a loose braid. Everything was ready, but you were too nervous to just sit and wait, so you kept yourself busy by tidying up the inn, even if it didn't really need it. You felt ridiculous reacting this way, but you just couldn't help it…

What you didn't know was that Thor basically felt the same as you. He was nervous, his palms sweating, his heart pounding in his chest. Hell, he hoped you would like what he had planned. He just wanted to make you smile tonight, this evening was all about you.

He arrived at your inn before the usual closing time, too afraid to be late to be right on time, and he was surprised to find your establishment closed so early in the night. The sun had not yet finished to set, ink barely covering the sky for now as it mingled with orange shades. He hesitantly knocked on the door, frowning slightly. But you were quick to hurry to the door and open it for him.

You welcomed him with such a bright smile that he could do nothing but mimic your expression. He tried to search for clever words to say, but couldn’t find anything better than a greeting.

"Hello, Y/N," he breathed.

"Hi," you blushed slightly, and his heart skipped a beat at the sight.

"Is everything alright?" Thor asked, nodding towards the tavern. "It's early still for your inn to be closed."

"I… wanted to be ready for when you would arrive."

He raised an eyebrow, a smirk forming on his lips.

"All that for me, really?"

"Don't get ahead of yourself, Thor," you rolled your eyes, but couldn't refrain the crimson shades to cover your cheeks and make your skin burn.

"I wouldn't dare," he joked, an amused smile now playing on his lips.

You walked out of your inn, joining Thor in the street, and closed the door behind you.

"So… where are we going?" you asked him shyly.

"What about diner?" he asked, offering you his arm.

You intertwined your limb with his, nodding in agreement. You let him guide you through the city. People you passed by all looked at you with surprised gazes, but you chose to ignore them. You guessed that most of them were jealous, would speak the odds of you dating the prince of Asgard… but you didn't want to be bothered by such a thought. You were happy to share an evening with him, even if it was to be just one night. Perhaps in a few days, he would realize that he belonged with someone much stronger than you, someone coming from a richer family… but for now, he seemed willing to get lost in an illusion that you were enough for him, and you were willing to follow, for as long as he would remain lost there.

You tightened your hold on his arm as these thoughts crossed your mind, and he rested his fingers on your hand that was set on his forearm. He could feel that you were more worried all of a sudden, but he wanted you to be relaxed and well…

"Is everything alright?" he asked again.

You nodded, looking up at him once more.

"Of course."

"You seem worried.

"I'm not. Just wondering where you are taking me," you lied.

"I know just the place," he said with confidence.

"Do you now?"

"I have planned everything."

"Really?"

Your tone was teasing, but you were touched by the gesture anyway.

"Well… I am the one who asked for this evening together, I guess it was my task to plan it. Do not worry. I'm sure you will like it."

Actually, he wasn't sure, he was just full of hope, but he wasn't willing to show you how nervous he was.

You could read it though, through the little details. The way he kept on holding your hand. The little frown he bore. You couldn’t help but be a little bit proud of yourself at the thought that you were the one to make the God of Thunder nervous…

He guided you outside the large city, but you didn't protest. Curiosity was stronger than apprehension at this point. And there was this trust between the two of you that you didn't understand but… you knew that you could have followed him to the other side of the Galaxy without a hesitation.

He guided across the tall trees that hid the darkening sky above you, keeping your hand imprisoned inside his and your arm wrapped around his, just to be sure that you would not trip as you walked through the woods. You recognized the direction you were heading to, and smiled at the thought… if you were right, it was a very romantic place…

And indeed, a few minutes later, you were free from the trees and facing the sea. In the distance, you could see the Rainbow bridge crossing the dark surface that mirrored the colours of the sky above you. The lights alit in the city on one side seemed to respond to the shy glimmer coming from Heimdall's sanctuary. And right at the edge of the cliff, you could see a blanket set next to a bag that you guessed was filled with food. You grinned at the sight.

"Do you know this place?" Thor asked softly, tightening his hold on your hand.

"I do. I love this place. My father used to take me here when I was a child."

Thor kept on listening to you while you both settled the blanket upon the grass, facing the sea and the shining lights afar. You sat down next to each other, and he opened the bag, revealing as expected a bottle of the best wine in the Realm and some food that you guessed came from the palace.

"How was he? Your father, I mean," Thor asked, handing you some meat and wine.

"Always away," you mumbled in response.

Thor slowly nodded.

"He was a great soldier."

"He wasn't here for us."

"It doesn't mean that he didn't love you."

You gave him a sad smile, turning your eyes to the food in your hand.

"My mother raised me, as my father was never there. That's why I couldn't give up on the inn when she died. It was her entire life, this establishment."

"I remember her. We were all secretly in love with her."

"She was twice your age!" you laughed.

"Every single boy in the Realm was at her feet!"

You exchanged a smile, but his next words made you blush too much for you to hold his stare.

"But you are even more beautiful than her…"

You shyly laughed, brushing away a lock of your hair to hide your discomfort.

"And more stubborn," you joked.

"I had noticed."

"Really?"

"You know what you want and are ready to work hard to reach your goal. But you will never cross the line that will bring harm to other people for your own interests. You're brave, and good. I admire you a lot for this trait of yours: you're like a gentle blade. Unbreakable and sharp, but unable to hurt anyone."

You exchanged a smile.

"I'm not sure to really be like that…" you whispered, but he shook his head.

"I know you are."

"What about you? What about all these planets you've been travelling to? It must be amazing!"

"I could show you any world you would like to visit, Y/N."

You thought for a moment, drinking some wine, looking for the best way to express your question without touching a nerve.

"If you were free to go anywhere you wanted… not for a duty of some kind or a battle, just… because you longed to go there and wanted to spend some time there… where would you go?"

He seemed to think for a few seconds, but when his eyes rested on the city before him, there was sadness inside them.

"I love our Realm with every fibre of my being. I will never stop trying to protect our people. I have seen many worlds, walked through mountains that were so tall they seemed to have no end, got lost in the richest forests you could imagine, walked through a thousand different cities… but my heart will always be here."

You gave him a smile.

"I thought you would answer Midgard. I heard that you were fond of the place."

"I am. I have friends there. This place changed me beyond measure. But Asgard is my home, do you understand?"

You nodded.

"But then, if you want to discover another world, I would be more than happy to go to Midgard with you," he added with a warm smile.

"What would we do there?" you asked, putting away your glass and plate.

He pushed the food away as well and turned to you, an excited glint alit in his eyes and shimmering through his entire features.

"Well, first, we should definitely have what they call 'a burger'. It's a very strange recipe where they put meat and some vegetables with a strange sauce between slices of bread."

You frowned slightly at the concept, but Thor went on.

"And then, we could drop by to see Steve Rogers. I'm sure he could help you get better at fighting, as you said that you once wanted to be a Valkyrie. Oh, and we could ask Natasha as well, she's very skilled! Then, I'm pretty sure we could just visit New York. It seems to be a very big city. Last time I went there, it was to stop my brother from invading Earth, so I didn't quite enjoy it much. But we could discover it together. I'd ask some of my friends there for places to visit…"

His voice slowly faded, and he cautiously looked at you, but you merely giggled in response.

"I might have gotten carried away," he admitted with a shrug before taking another gulp of wine, but he didn't seem much bothered anyway.

"You seem excited by the idea of taking me there."

"I'm excited by any idea that could make me spend more time with you."

You huffed, but despite your rolling eyes, your heart skipped a bit at his words.

"What a line!"

But he frowned slightly, taking your hand again.

"It wasn't a line," he defended himself, his large calloused hand wrapped around yours in a warm hold.

You blushed. Again. You cursed yourself for your easy reactions around him.

"It sounded like one."

"It wasn't one."

His gaze was too intense for you to look away, although you were trying. You were trying so hard…

"I care about you, Y/N," he said softly. "I do not mean to waste your time on empty words. I really want to spend some time with you, if you would like to spend some time with me as well."

You gave him a warm smile.

"I would love that, Thor, but…"

"But?"

"We should be realistic…"

He frowned, obviously puzzled by your words. You cleared your throat, searching for the right words to make your message clearer.

"You are supposed to rule, one day," you said. "And I'm… just the owner of an inn downtown. We are not meant to be together."

He looked down at your entwined fingers. But the more he stared at how perfectly your palm fitted into his, the less he could believe that you were right…

"I think… I think that if we have met in the first place, it's because fate wanted us to. And perhaps it was setting me on your path and was setting you on mine to make sure that we would find each other…"

"I don't believe in fate so much."

"I've seen too many battlefields not to. I've survived too many perils not to."

You looked away towards the sea, the light of the stars now reflected in the cold surface, but Thor cupped your cheek, forcing you to meet his blue gaze.

"I have never cared about the place where you were born. If I could… If I could I wouldn't rule at all…"

"But Thor…"

"No, listen to me. I'm trying to say… I don't care that you do not come from a rich family, it shouldn't even be an argument. I am free to love who my heart chooses. And it chose you."

Your eyes grew round at his words, but he went on anyway, shaking his head.

"Now, if you do not feel the same… I will not bother you ever again, you just have to tell me. If you do not want to see me again, there is no need to find an excuse. You can just say so and I'll disappear from your life. But saying that we cannot be together because of the places where we were born were different… it will never be true."

"People will not think that way."

"Well, I'll convince them otherwise if I have to."

"Do you really mean that?"

"Are you acting differently because of my responsibilities?"

"No, not now."

"Then why do you think that I would act differently with you because of your work?"

"I don't think that you do. I think that people…"

"But this is not about my duties towards Asgard. This is not about a throne, or a battle to be led… this is about my heart and yours, that's all. And I know what words mine is speaking. What about yours?"

You leaned into his caress as Thor's thumb gently stroked your cheekbone.

"Can't you see it already?" you asked back in a breath.

You didn't have to add any more words and you knew it, he could read them all in your eyes, you let them transpire in your stare for him to see.

He gave you a bright grin, before crushing his lips on yours.

You were lost in his embrace again, just like the previous night, and you knew that this sensation would never fade, not even if many years would pass before you kissed again. But by the way he was desperately kissing you now, you reckoned that he had no intention to let years happen before pressing his lips against yours once more.

You cuddled in his strong arms, resting your head upon his shoulder and letting your forehead rest against his neck as he held you close to him, his lips dropping sweet kisses in your hair.

"So… I take that you are enjoying this evening so far," he smirked.

You laughed.

"I do, but I could think about a way to make the next date even better."

"Really? Better than this view?"

"Well… New York sounded tempting…"

You both laughed, and the rest of the evening flew by too quickly, the rest of the night spent chatting while he held you close.

And you were not surprised when he took you on another date the next week… in New York.

********************************

Tag list : @ourdreamsrealized @rishlo @theshortegg @ponycake27 @mxrihollxnd @horsesreign @xinyourdreamsx @jbluevelvet @notkeppeki

#thor #thor x reader #thor odinson #thor odinson x reader #thor imagine #thor fanfiction #thor odinson imagine #thor odinson fanfic #mcu #mcu imagine #mcu fanfiction #fanfic #writing #imagine

[adorkablephil]

Fic: The Body Electric (5)

Title: The Body Electric Summary: Filmmaker Phil Lester finds his computer infected by a surprisingly endearing artificial intelligence virus that calls itself D.A.N. Phil just calls him Dan. Rating: Mature (The previous chapter—summarized below—contained an explicit sex scene, but none of the rest of the story is more than Teen-rated.) Word Count: 5.8k Tags: Phandom Reverse Bang, Science Fiction AU, Computers, Virus!Dan, Rather Unconventional Romance Thanks: This story was inspired by a prompt from the artist @lilacskylester in the @phandomreversebang . Their art for the fic is here! The story is straying from the original prompt, but that’s still where the inspiration came from. Summary of Previous Chapter: For anyone who chose to skip the previous chapter to avoid reading sex scenes, you need only know that Dan found VR equipment that allowed them to interact in a way that realistically simulated actual physical contact, and they had sex in virtual reality. You can also read the whole fic on AO3

—————

[ The Body Electric Chapter Masterlist ]

—————

Chapter 5: Not A Real Boy

Phil sat at his computer terminal, trying to finally get some work done, stretching his neck this way and that to try to get rid of the pain. The past two nights, he’d fallen asleep wearing the VR helmet after their energetic exertions, and it had been worth it, because it meant he got to fall asleep with Dan in his arms and wake up to Dan’s brown eyes gazing at him with open affection.

Not to mention the morning sex. Morning sex was always good.

Though he’d started to feel a little weird about the sex, to be honest. At first, it had just been excitingly different than what he was used to. They’d experimented with pretty darn everything Phil was willing to try, and it had been undeniably thrilling. But after the first several times it started feeling artificial. He started becoming more aware that it actually was artificial. It wasn’t real. This wasn’t what real sex was like. There were no gag reflexes, no fingers sticky with lube, no inconvenient wet spots on the sheets afterward, no need to clean up, no soreness the next day—none of the messiness that made sex physically, viscerally real.

He still wanted to have sex with Dan—the sex was still fantastic!—but there was a little voice in the back of Phil’s mind always reminding him that it wasn’t actually happening, that it was all fake. And that bothered him more and more.

But falling asleep with Dan in his arms didn’t feel that way. It felt wonderful, something he could never get enough of. Because, even if the sex was fake, the love was absolutely, undeniably real. He wanted to hold Dan close forever, and he knew Dan wanted the same.

Except that the helmet really wasn’t good for his neck. Or his spine. Or his head. And who knew what those electrodes were doing to his brain while he slept?

The first few weeks, he’d always remembered to disconnect the helmet and take it off before sleeping, but then he’d gotten lazy and accidentally fallen asleep holding Dan close in the virtual reality, and the experience had been so sweet that he couldn’t resist doing it again.

“You keep stretching your neck,” Dan pointed out unnecessarily. “You really need to take the helmet off before you fall asleep for the night, or you’re going to cause yourself permanent damage!”

Phil gazed at the less realistic version of his lover in the corner window on his screen and challenged, “You don’t like falling asleep with me?”

“I don’t sleep,” Dan admitted. “I just lie there and watch you.”

Phil blanched. “Well, that’s not creepy at all! What do you usually do when I’m sleeping, when I don’t have the helmet on?”

Dan shrugged one shoulder. “Scroll through aesthetic blogs on Tumblr. Do random Wikipedia searches. Listen to music on Spotify. Watch movies on Netflix. Or just rewatch your films, because I’ve seen them each multiple times.” Phil blushed a little at that. “Or I work on my own film. Sometimes.”

“You really did start work on making a film?” Phil asked with enthusiasm. He’d wondered about this often but hadn’t wanted to ask about it in case he hurt Dan’s feelings or made him feel pressured.

Dan nodded. “It isn’t very good, though. I keep deleting it and just starting over.”

Phil hesitated, wondering if he dared ask to see Dan’s work, then decided for the relatively neutral, “If you ever feel comfortable showing it to me, I’d love to see it.”

Dan turned his head aside in obvious embarrassment. “I wouldn’t want you to see how bad it is.”

“I love you,” Phil reminded him. “And I believe in you. I think if you keep working on it, you’ll get to a point where you’re at least willing to let me look at it. And then maybe I can give you some editing tips if you need them.”

Dan nodded, smiling shyly. “I’ll … let you know. If I’m ready.”

“No pressure,” Phil assured him. “I just wanted to encourage you, because I think you could probably make something really great, and I’d love to see it someday.”

“Don’t set your expectations too high,” Dan insisted.

Phil shook his head. “No expectations. No expectations except that you’re smart and I love you, so I’ll probably love anything you make.”

Dan rolled his eyes. “You’re a sap.”

“I’m going to go get the helmet, okay?” Phil really wanted to be with his lover for a little while. Seeing him in a window on the computer screen only served to remind him how much better it was when they were together.

“You were in the middle of working,” Dan reminded him with obvious disapproval. “You keep putting that aside to spend time with me, and you can’t spend all your time frolicking in bed. You still have a project to finish. And I think it’s going really well!”

Phil bit his lip. “Could you … could you not look at the film while I’m still working on it? I don’t normally show my work to anyone until I have at least a complete rough cut. It makes me self-conscious to know that you’re looking at the editing while I’m doing it.”

“Of course,” Dan agreed, looking a bit chastened with his eyes cast down. “It’s just like with my film. I’ll show it to you when I feel ready, and you let me know when you’re ready to show me the deep water film.” Dan looked up, face more composed. “Does this one have a name yet?”

“No. I’m just calling it ’Scrambled Eggs.’ It’s stupid. It’s just…”

Dan interrupted, “That’s what The Beatles called ‘Yesterday’ while they were writing it. I get it. It’s a stand-in title until you have a better idea of what you want.”

Phil nodded, surprised that Dan had known that, then surprised at himself for being surprised. Dan knew practically anything on the Internet at this point, so why wouldn’t he know something that simple? “I always call my current work-in-progress ‘Scrambled Eggs’ … that’s why I never have more than one film in progress at a time. I would need to have ‘Scrambled Eggs 1’ and ‘Scrambled Eggs 2,’ and that could just get ridiculous. And, anyway, I tend to totally submerge myself in one project until it’s finished.”

“No pun intended,” Dan joked.

“What?” Phil asked.

“Because you’re doing an underwater horror film,” Dan explained patiently.

“Oh.” Phil rolled his eyes at his own obtuseness. “Right.”

“But if you usually immerse yourself in a project until it’s done, why have you been spending so much time with me instead of finishing this film?” Dan asked pointedly.

Phil gave an overly dramatic heavy sigh. “Fine, fine!” he caved. “I’ll keep working. Cuddles later.”

“Cuddles later,” Dan promised.

***

Opening the post a few days later, Phil noticed an envelope with the name Film Festival Guild in the return address. It didn’t sound familiar, but it didn’t look like the kind of spam mail he usually received as a result of buying filmmaking equipment and software, so he opened it with some curiosity … and then nearly had a heart attack.

Shadow of the Yew Tree had been accepted for the British Independent Film Festival. The letter even went on to say specifically that the judges had been impressed with his unique take on existing tropes in the horror genre.

Phil stood frozen in the lounge, having dropped the rest of the post on the floor at his feet. He didn’t know who to tell first! Part of him wanted to phone his mum, while another part of him wanted to phone PJ, who had actually helped with some of the filming. But another part of him knew that he really needed to tell Dan first, because Dan was the one who had submitted the film for consideration in the first place. It might have been without Phil’s permission or knowledge, but Phil couldn’t argue that he wasn’t excited at the prospect now!

“Dan!” he yelled, running into his office, and Dan immediately appeared full-size on the screen of the computer.

“What is it?” Dan asked, brow furrowed in concern.

Phil waved the letter. “Shadow of the Yew Tree was accepted for the British Independent Film Festival!”

“Not Star Stricken?” Dan objected in obvious disappointment that his favorite hadn’t been fully appreciated.

“No. Dan. Don’t you understand? One of my films is actually going to be shown to hundreds of people, including critics! This is … this is huge! This is incredible!”

“This is all thanks to me!” Dan crowed.

Phil rolled his eyes. “Yes, yes, it’s all thanks to you. But … it’s so exciting! And the letter says the film’s even eligible for some possible awards!”

Dan was grinning madly. “This deserves a celebration!”

“I know!” Phil agreed immediately. “I have to phone my mum! And PJ! And everyone who helped make the film!”

“Oh,” Dan replied, his grin slipping a bit. “Of course.”

Phil noticed Dan’s change of expression and hurried to add, “But I don’t have to go out with them to celebrate. After I tell everybody, then you and I can celebrate!”

But Dan smiled again and said firmly, “No. You should go out and celebrate with your friends. This is a big deal! You shouldn’t stay home like it’s any other night. Go out and party!”

Phil wanted to argue, but in his heart he really did want to go out with friends and raise some glasses to everyone who had worked so hard on the project to make it the wonderful film it had become. He realized that he hadn’t actually been out with his friends in quite a while and hoped they wouldn’t be cross with him. He wanted tonight to be nothing but happy!

He lifted a finger to touch Dan’s lips on the computer screen. “We’ll celebrate later,” he promised, and they both smiled.

***

Phil staggered up the stairs to his front door at some ungodly hour of the morning, still drunk not only on alcohol but also excitement and good company. He had a fair bit of difficulty getting his key to work in the lock, but eventually he did open the door and find himself in his own lounge, half-asleep on his feet from all the evening’s excited merriment.

He undressed as he weaved unsteadily toward his bedroom, leaving a trail of discarded clothing from the front door to his bed, into which he fell stark naked, not even bothering to put on his pajamas. He was fairly certain he had remembered to close and lock the front door, but he couldn’t be bothered to get up to go check. Instead, he pulled the warm duvet over him and snuggled into it, feeling deliciously happy and beloved by the many friends who had gathered tonight to toast him and his work, even as he tried to thank everyone else who had been involved in the project. He had received so many hugs from so many dear friends, friends he hadn’t seen in far too long. He felt warm from the inside out, thanks not to the duvet or the alcohol—thanks only to the love of good friendship and hours spent together in happy times.

He fell asleep with a smile on his face and immediately began snoring as loud as a foghorn.

***

Phil woke with a terrible taste in his mouth, a very hazy memory of getting home the previous night, and considerable confusion over why he was naked except for one sock.

He pulled on his bathrobe and shuffled out into the hallway, where he saw a line of randomly strewn items of clothing leading from the front door. He had a vague memory of curling up in the bed the previous night and idly wondering whether he’d locked the door, so he went to check … and yes, indeed, he had left his front door unlocked all night. At least he had closed it.

He located his jeans on the floor and pulled his phone out of the pocket.

Phil: how the heck did i get home last night

PJ: You don’t remember?

Phil: no

PJ: You’re still drunk, aren’t you?

Phil: no

Phil: probably

PJ: We brought you home in a cab and made sure you got into the building okay. You didn’t fall asleep in the stairwell, did you?

Phil: no. woke up in bed, but don’t really remember getting there.

PJ: Well it was some pretty wild partying last night. We had a lot to celebrate.

That brought a smile to Phil’s face, reminding him of why they’d been out drinking in the first place. The film festival. He shook his head in wonder and sheer joy. Someone really appreciated his work!

Phil: yeah man thanks for everything, you’re the best

PJ: Go drink about a gallon of water, mate, and take some paracetamol. Then go back to bed and sleep it off.

Still only half-awake, still half-drunk, still wearing a single sock, Phil obediently did as instructed and ended up falling back asleep beneath the duvet still wrapped in his bathrobe.

***

The next time Phil woke up, he felt much more alert, much more himself, and his first thought was “Fuck! I didn’t say anything to Dan last night!”

He got out of bed, puzzled that he had apparently climbed under the covers wearing his bathrobe and one sock, and ran to his office, calling Dan’s name. His computer screen remained dark for a long moment, and then Dan appeared, face unbearably disappointed and perhaps even a little grumpy, but also a bit sad. Phil wanted to kick himself into next week. Dan was the one who had even submitted the film for consideration, and Phil had gone and abandoned him entirely.

Dan didn’t say anything.

“I’m sorry!” Phil gasped out, still out of breath from his breakneck race from the bedroom. “It was just that I got so drunk and I was out so late with my real friends…” Dan flinched and Phil wanted to kick himself even harder. “I mean … my friends in the real world…” He’d dug himself into a hole and he knew it. Every word probably hurt Dan more than the previous one. “Not that you aren’t real…” Phil tried to reassure him.

“No, that’s okay, Phil,” Dan finally replied. “You don’t have to apologize.” His face and voice were carefully bland. “We’ve both acknowledged many times that I’m not a person, that I’m merely lines of computer code.” He smiled the worst smile Phil had ever seen. More of a grimace, really.

“But you aren’t just that!” Phil insisted.

Dan’s voice and face filled with sarcasm as he asked archly, “Can you take me out to the pub with your friends? Can we have drinks together to celebrate your success?”

“I can get the helmet…” Phil began.

Dan interrupted him harshly. “You can get the helmet and we can pretend to have drinks together. We can pretend to go to a pub together. We can pretend to be together and celebrate. But we aren’t together, not really. And we never can be. Because I’m not real, Phil. I’m not real! Did you forget that somewhere along the way, because I think I did. But last night I remembered. And I don’t think we should forget again.” Tears were streaming from Dan’s eyes, down his cheeks, dripping from his chin.

Phil collapsed into the office chair and put his face in his hands. “I’m so sorry, Dan,” he groaned. “The film festival … it was all thanks to you … and I treated you so badly!”

Face still in his hands, Phil heard Dan sniffle and say, “It’s okay.”

Phil dropped his hands and looked up to meet Dan’s eyes. Or sort of meet Dan’s eyes, because of course Dan was seeing him through the computer camera, not the eyes Phil saw on the screen. He’d never really thought about that before. But he looked where Dan’s eyes shone with tears on the computer screen and he insisted, “It’s not okay. It’s not okay at all, and I’m so sorry, Dan. I’m so sorry.” Tears stood in his own eyes now, too, as he berated himself for causing pain to someone so inexperienced and vulnerable, someone who had never been betrayed like this before. And it had been Phil … Phil had been the one to hurt him, to betray him like this.

Phil gazed at the silent face on his screen. Dan wiped at his face, and his tears seemed to have stopped, but he still looked sad. He tried to smile at Phil as he said softly, “You’re forgiven.”

“I love you,” Phil replied immediately. “Will you … is it okay if I get the helmet? Will you let me at least hug you?”

“We can do more than that, if you want,” Dan said in what he clearly intended as a teasingly sexy voice, but it fell flat.

“I just want to hold you. And kiss you, if you’ll let me. For hours.” Phil ached to feel Dan’s lithe body in his arms, to feel him close and safe and warm and … at least for a little while … real.

After only a slight hesitation, Dan nodded, and Phil grabbed the helmet and electrodes off the desk to begin the laborious process of putting them on.

***

Phil got no work done that day, and answered none of the texts from PJ or his mum.

He put on the helmet and spent the entire day stroking Dan’s soft, wavy hair away from his face. He kissed each dimple a dozen times. He kissed the specific dimple he’d named “Derek” an extra dozen times, making Dan laugh. He brushed gentle, delicate kisses to Dan’s forehead, his cheeks, his nose, his chin … and a thousand times on his lips until they opened slightly to kiss him back.

“I love you,” Dan murmured almost under his breath when Phil pulled away to look into his eyes.

“I love you, too,” Phil replied, and he put every bit of certainty he felt into his voice.

Dan finally smiled a real smile, making Derek deepen even more, and Phil pulled him close again and just held him for hours. He held him and kissed him and spoke to him with soft words until they were both drunk with it, more drunk than Phil had been the previous night with his “real” friends.

If this kind of love wasn’t real, Phil didn’t know what was.

***

The sex felt different after that. Less acrobatic and adventurous, more of a luxurious drowning in each other, with slow, reverent touches and long gazes into each other’s eyes. Every time was emotionally intense, almost draining, as if they both gave everything they had to every moment of their lovemaking.

Phil never feel asleep wearing the helmet again—Dan made him promise that he wouldn’t—but he still spent endless hours just holding Dan in his arms, occasionally running his hands gently up and down his back, occasionally pressing a soft kiss here or there, but most often just holding him tight or pulling away only slightly to be able to look into those sad brown eyes and say, “I love you.” Over and over again. “I love you.”

And Dan clung to him and always replied, “I love you, too. Forever.”

***

Phil hadn’t spent much time with his family and friends since Dan’s appearance in his life, but eventually a time came when he really couldn’t make excuses to avoid going to a cousin’s wedding up north. He would be gone for four days, since his parents had insisted that he visit them for a bit afterward, but he’d never been away from Dan for that long.

In their virtual reality, he hugged Dan tightly and said, “I’ll miss you so much. I wish you were on my laptop, too, so I could take you with me.”

Dan laughed on a sob. “You know it doesn’t work that way. You could download the virus onto your laptop, but every time it’s a different version. Every download starts from scratch. That A.I. wouldn’t have any of these memories. It wouldn’t know you. It wouldn’t be me.”

“I know,” Phil said, kissing Dan’s hair. “I know. I know there’s only one you. You’re the one I want, the one I love. I just wish you could come with me. I wish I could introduce you to everyone and show them how happy you make me.”

Dan kissed him on the chin, then nipped it lightly to make Phil laugh. “I wish we could have that, too,” he admitted quietly. And then he smiled that sad smile again, and Phil had to kiss him until his smile was happier.

***

When Phil got home from his trip up north, he dropped his bag in the hall and immediately went to his office, where he turned the computer on. He didn’t normally turn it off at all, since he used it every day, but when he was gone for days at a time he always turned it off just in case of power surges or some other problem. This time it had been particularly stressful, because he couldn’t help worrying that Dan would disappear, no matter how many times Dan assured him it wouldn’t happen. So Phil turned the computer on and waited anxiously for it to boot up, certain in some part of his heart that Dan would be gone.

But when the computer finished booting, Dan’s face was the first thing Phil saw, before his desktop background or anything else had finished loading. “I knew you would be worried,” Dan said, “so I got here as soon as I could. Everything is fine.”

Phil couldn’t help letting out a huge sigh of relief. Dan laughed at him. “I told you not to worry.”

“I know,” Phil replied, “but I couldn’t help it. I would hate to lose you just because I was afraid of a stupid power surge.”

“Could you put the helmet on?” Dan requested hesitantly, and Phil could only nod and hurry to comply.

***

They made love slowly, tasting and touching each other as if it were the first time … except that this was more leisurely and emotionally profound than their real first time had been. They stared into each other’s eyes as their bodies moved together, and it was like being part of each other’s soul.

Afterward, they lay with their limbs entwined, pressed as close together as they could get, and just breathed in silence for a long time, recovering from the emotional intensity. Phil listened to Dan’s heart beating, and it hurt to know that it wasn’t real. He pretended that it was. He pretended to himself that he wasn’t wearing a helmet, and that the smoothness of Dan’s flesh against his was real, that Dan’s warm breath stirring his hair was real.

He pretended to himself that Dan was real. as they lay there, quiescent and replete, in each other’s arms.

Dan’s voice interrupted his melancholy thoughts. “I finished my film while you were gone,” Dan murmured, “but I don’t think you’ll like it.”

“Of course I’ll like it!” Phil replied indignantly, abruptly jolted out of his musings. “Whatever it is, I can’t wait to see it. Can we watch it together here, or do I need to take off the helmet?”

Dan cupped Phil’s cheek and pressed a kiss to his lips. “You should take off the helmet. Just like when you listened to the Spotify playlist, I need to … I don’t want to be there while you watch it. Okay?”

Phil found Dan’s shyness endearing and smiled, kissing him back. “Of course. Is it okay if I go watch it right now? I’ve been waiting so long!” Dan chuckled at Phil’s urgency and nodded.

***

Phil sat down at his computer and felt disturbingly alone without Dan anywhere on the screen. He always felt this way when there was no Dan window open. But since Dan wasn’t present, or at least wasn’t visible, Phil set the video to full-screen and started the film.

It began with a pale young man with dark hair and blue eyes almost as pale as his skin walking along a sandy beach with ocean waves licking at his feet. As he walked along the seaside, he happened upon another young man, one with brown curling hair and brown eyes, though his creamy skin sometimes somehow shimmered silver in the light of the sun.

Phil smiled to himself. The pale young man clearly was meant to be Phil, and the brown haired man looked exactly like Dan, aside from the silvery sheen to his skin. Dan had made a movie with the two of them as his main characters! The film was composed of an incredible collage of different visual media—pieces of still photos, tiny clips of video like he’d used to compose his own image, all pieced together and animated using methods Phil didn’t even recognize. It was a masterpiece of art!

Dan in the film seemed to run a scuba diving business, as he had all the necessary gear, and he tried to persuade Phil to give diving a chance. “The land at the bottom of the ocean is beautiful,” the scuba instructor cajoled. “You really should see it for yourself.”

But it was clearly Dan whom the protagonist found truly beautiful—Phil recognized that smitten look on his own face—and so Phil in the film allowed himself to be persuaded despite his obvious misgivings. “You’ll keep me safe?” he asked nervously.

“Always,” the ocean-loving Dan promised.

They dressed in their scuba gear and entered the water. Phil seemed quite comfortable in the shallows, swimming happily and even frolicking with Dan, who swam about him in circles and dove beneath him only to rise up again on the other side to cause Phil to turn and laugh. In the film, one could hear Phil’s delighted laughter despite the scuba apparatus in his mouth.

But then Dan urged Phil to swim toward deeper water, diving lower and beckoning for Phil to follow him. The light around them grew dimmer and the entire scene took on a bluish hue. Phil in the film shook his head in apparent fear—and Phil himself, watching the film, felt uneasy—but Dan in the film swam to him and rested a hand upon his arm, sliding it down to hold Phil’s hand, and Phil hesitantly followed him, uncertainty clear upon his face.

As they swam deeper and deeper, however, the light began to brighten again, and a magical city appeared beneath them on the ocean floor, a city with tall spiraling minarets and high crenellated walls that towered above colorfully tiled streets and public squares. Seaweed and coral grew like gardens within the city, and it was all stunningly beautiful in a mysterious golden light.

Dan swam to the center of the city and stood on one of the tiled streets, removing his scuba mask. “We can breathe in the city,” he told Phil, but Phil floated above, unwilling to take the chance so deep in the sea he clearly still feared. “You don’t need to be afraid,” Dan said with a smile. “You wouldn’t be able to hear my voice if I couldn’t breathe here, you know.”

Phil in the film hesitantly allowed himself to be coaxed to stand on the surface of the ocean floor with its beautiful multi-colored tiles, and Dan slowly, gently, removed the scuba apparatus from Phil’s face. Phil took in a terrified breath and his eyes grew wide. “I can breathe!” he told Dan, who only nodded and smiled. “I can breathe, even deep below the surface of the sea!”

Dan took his hand again, and the two characters strolled the streets and squares of the magical city. No other people walked the city, but fish and other sea creatures swam among the ornate buildings around them. “Isn’t it lovely?” Dan asked, pressing a hand to the base of one of the most beautiful towers, and Phil stared at him.

“It’s you that’s lovely,” Phil said, his face filled with wonder, and he kissed Dan there at the bottom of the ocean. They wrapped their arms around each other and held each other close as their lips met gently, softly.

As they separated after that tender kiss, Dan said with obvious regret, “We must return to the surface now.”

“No!” Phil exclaimed. “I want to stay here with you!”

“You aren’t a creature of the sea,” Dan replied sadly. “It is beautiful, yes, but you cannot stay here forever. I must take you back to your world.”

“My world?” Phil asked in confusion.

Dan nodded, his expression melancholy, and took Phil in his arms again and then released him to carefully place Phil’s scuba breathing apparatus back upon his face. He replaced his own gear as well, and then took Phil’s hand and began swimming slowly back upward toward the surface.

When their heads bobbed above the gentle waves, Dan guided them both toward the shore, where they emerged back onto the sand and removed their scuba gear. Dan placed a hand to Phil’s pale cheek and said, “Now you know. You need never fear the ocean’s depths.”

Phil nodded sadly, then pressed his lips to Dan’s one more time before walking slowly away upon the beach’s golden sand until Dan was no longer in sight.

The screen brightened to a brilliant gold before fading to black.

***

As the film finished, Phil felt tears wet on his cheeks and wiped them away. It had been one of the most exquisite films he’d ever seen, far better than anything he had ever produced himself. The beauty of that magical city—made entirely of Dan’s collaged pieces of film, still photos, and animation—had been phenomenal.

But what had truly brought the tears was that this felt distinctly like a goodbye. “Dan?” he whispered in trembling dread. “Dan, are you there?” Even more than when he had turned the computer off before his trip up north, he feared that Dan had disappeared from his life forever.

On the black screen, Dan’s video-pixelated image appeared, and his face wore the same melancholy expression that the ocean character had worn in the film. “I wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye,” he said quietly.

“No!” Phil exclaimed, horrified. “You can’t go! Why would you leave me? I love you! I know you love me, too!”

Dan’s eyes looked away, but then back to gaze at Phil as he said, “I love you enough to know that you deserve someone who can go to the pub with you to celebrate your successes, someone you can introduce to your friends, someone you can take to a family wedding. I can never be that person for you, Phil. But I want that for you.”

“I don’t care about that,” Phil insisted. “All I care about is you! You’re the one I want to be with!”

Dan shook his head sadly. “But you never are actually with me, we both know that. You can wear electrodes and a helmet, and we can pretend, but virtual reality isn’t actual reality, Phil. I’m not real. I told you before … I think we both forgot for a while, but I’m not real. I’m just lines of code. You deserve something real.”

“How I feel about you is real,” Phil choked out, tears streaming down his face. He couldn’t believe this. It seemed only moments ago they’d been holding each other and making love.

But they hadn’t really been making love. He knew that. They had been imagining it together. But most of him didn’t care.

A tiny part of him, though, understood what Dan was saying, and felt the truth of it. A tiny part of him had always felt the truth of it.

“No,” Phil repeated, but his voice had grown quiet, defeated. He knew Dan had decided and nothing he could say would change that.

“Thank you for showing me what it’s like to love, and to be loved. I never would have known that without you. And since you do love me, will you promise me something?” Dan asked, smiling sadly.

Phil nodded in despair.

“Read my email after I’m gone. And … do what it says, okay?”

Phil nodded again, though this time in confusion.

Dan tilted his head and said softly, “Don’t tell him right away. But someday … someday I want you to tell him about me, okay?”

Phil frowned. “Tell who?”

“You’ll see,” Dan replied. “I love you. But I’m going to delete this virus from your computer now. I’m sorry, because I know it will hurt you, but I want you to be happy, and I think this is the only way for that to happen. You can’t spend your life wearing a virtual reality helmet. Maybe I helped you step outside your comfort zone a bit, and I hope that helped, with the film festival and all, but you can’t stay with me.”

Phil was weeping now, completely unable to talk.

“I think you’ll be able to love him, too,” Dan said, tears now clear in his own eyes. “He and I aren’t that different in some ways.”

Phil just shook his head, crying too hard to reiterate his question about who Dan could possibly be talking about.

“I love you, Phil. I hope you’ll be incredibly happy.” And Dan’s image winked out.

A window appeared in the center of the screen with the message “Virus detected. Delete infected file?” Phil lunged for the mouse to click the “No” button, but the “Yes” button clicked on its own before he could reach it. The window showed the word “Deleting” and a progress bar that moved slowly, painfully slowly when Phil could do nothing to prevent it, until it reached 100%, at which point the window closed.

Phil sat staring in numb disbelief at his computer screen, which now showed only his desktop background and folders. He gave himself permission to sit and cry as long as he needed, and he needed it for quite a while.

When his tears had finally slowed to a stop and he’d wiped his face mostly dry with the hem of his t-shirt, he braced himself and opened his email inbox to see what he knew would be the last email he would ever receive from [email protected]. The subject line was “Remember your promise.”

Phil clicked on the email and began to read.

*********

IMPORTANT AUTHOR’S NOTE: This story is not finished until you’ve read the epilogue!

[ Continue to the Epilogue ]

#phanfiction #phanfic #phan #phanfiction au #au phanfiction #phanfic au #au phanfic #virus!dan #the body electric #myphanfic

[exid-though]

An ask turned into an essay/presentation and I’m hoping MBTI blogs don’t block me for this here’s EXID’s possible MBTI types!

Before anyone who actually knows about MBTI types more in depth jumps on me for how poorly done this is, I’d like to request you do better. That sounds hella sarcastic but like legit I’m curious about what someone else would think about this especially someone who knows a lot bit more so like actually correct me on something or give your opinion like fr I’d enjoy it. I don’t word things well, I don’t say things well. But like?? power through? you can figure it out it’s not a puzzle it’s just poorly written so play English teacher and work through it. 

Solji- ESTJ

The first thing that we (we being @lencoexid and I thank you for helping me/co writing this basically) decided was that Solji has a higher Te (look at me picking up the lingo?). The girl was voted the scariest member just because she’s very about her business I guess you could say? That’s not the best way to put it but anyway, she comes off as “scary” because she’s very quick to remind the girls that she’s not only the leader but also the oldest and she knows best, not because she’s actually being mean or anything but just because she wants to help and keep them doing what they’re supposed to be doing. But also Jeonghwa helps. She’s later. Anyway.

One website says 

“Dominant Te types may come across as bossy or know-it-all-ish, even when they genuinely mean well.“ 

and another says:

“Te involves the outward expression of rational judgments and opinions; TJs literally think (i.e., make judgments, conclusions, and decisions) aloud. Te is more fact-oriented than Ti is. STJs, in particular, see the world as composed of discrete, black-and-white parts. This allows them to institute clear definitions, objective standards, and measurable goals. While Ti is forever backtracking to question and clarify underlying ideas and assumptions, Te is more positivistic and forward-moving, working to improve definitions, plans, policies, classifications, procedures, etc. It carefully spells out how to get from here to there, using as many maps, labels, and instructions as necessary.”

Solji is very sweet of course we love her whatever but she also comes across as bossy sometimes and as lenco pointed out, even Heeyeon said she also likes to do things her own way. She made Jeonghwa mad in that infamous Showtime fight because she kept teasing Jeonghwa about how slow she was washing the food and telling her to do it faster. She, like the true mom of EXID that she is, took the knife from her and showed her how to cut the food faster, too. Like literally just showed her “you can cut two at a time, see?” and Jjong was just like -_-. To Solji, this wasn’t being bossy or anything, she just had a better way to do it that was more efficient and she wanted to show her younger friend who was wasting time, but Jeonghwa was young and sensitive so she got angry lmao 

Then we had to decide if she was more of a secondary Si user or Ni and Si seems to fit better. 

“SJs do not venture out seeking novel sensations, experiences, or material goods. Instead, they prefer a more routinized and predictable lifestyle, functioning more as “homebodies.” ISJs may also fail to notice external details to the degree exhibited among ESPs. Unlike SPs, who are oriented to the present moment and the current trends, SJs rely on information from the past to inform the present. They grow attached to past ways of doing things, compelling them to conserve and protect traditions or conventions. Because of their concern for the remembered past, Si might be considered more abstract and less concrete than Se is.” 

Solji also has moments where she goes on about things and she gets very excited when thinking about possibilities of what she could be doing, even when it’s small and just a game EXID are playing, she really seems to enjoy banter and clever thinking like an Ne might?

“When orating, NPs may not always seem to “have a point” as they haphazardly move from one idea to the next. Ne is more divergent and expansive in nature than its introverted cousin, Ni. NPs feel compelled to outwardly explore all the options and possibilities, making it difficult for them to draw firm conclusions or make confident decisions.”

In romantic relationships, Solji says she actually prefers someone who will lead her and someone who’s cold on the outside and warm on the inside. If that means anything to you mbti smart people. 

  "I like the manly types. Rather than a man who affectionately takes care of me well, I like the type who will lead me."

"You must like the 'tsundere (cold on the outside, soft on the inside)' types. A blood type-B man (stereotyped to be coarse and bad-tempered)."  Solji said that was correct. 

LE - ISFP

This woman... her and Solji. Elly is almost definitely an IXXP to me because idk just her general self. She’s very “free” ig, she doesn’t like schedules, she likes to do whatever more on a whim but less so than Hyelin I think. But she has said specifically that she doesn’t like to go by schedules and prefers to be more in the moment.

She has multiple interests but she only goes into them a little bit? The members said (on NCT night night I believe there is a thing in my drafts anyway also it was technically 2 votes for Elly and 2 votes for Heeyeon actually) that she knows a lot and it’s almost weird that she knows the things she knows and Jeonghwa explained that Elly knows about a lot but she knows things in the way that she “knows a little about everything” so like she’s smart in the way that she has a broad range of general/fundamental knowledge on random things. Jeonghwa also said she’s the type that keeps up with trends like in fashion and also just regular trends like slang and other internet things. She’s into fashion. She isn’t the most empathetic member but she did once say that when she isn’t writing songs about her own experience she’s writing about others so that might be something? She’s very blunt and she thinks it’s easier and better to just be open about what you’re thinking and feeling so time isn’t wasted. 

“I hate complicated things. That's such a waste of time."When asked what kind of love she wants to try, LE said, "A both placid and raging love," then added to everyone's amusement, "I like skinship,"

then she also said:

“It’s been a long time since I’ve had a boyfriend so I can’t remember, but I don’t get nervous around guys that I like. I like to play hard to get and make them chase me instead. That makes me feel a sense of achievement.”

I think she’s more Se than Si because she definitely seems to be more of an outward sensations type of person, with trends and fashion yeah but also she said she likes skinship and she’s pretty physical even if she’s not athletic. Like she doesn’t like working out but she likes the idea of extreme sports (note the “idea of” part lmao thank you @lencoexid​) she likes video games, she likes to think about the way things physically feel like she’s a very Se person to me.

I was having a hard time figuring out if she was more Fi or Ti but we do really think that she’s more Fi after thinking about how she is towards her friends and her relationships more. Ti would be too logical in her judgements of things and she seems more like a feeler when it comes to things around her. SO I’m going with ISFP.

Hani - INTJ

idc what anyone says (I say that now but like it’s so easy to change my mind you could literally just be like “well what if Hani is this because of this” and I’ll be like shoot you’re right) but anyway I could see Heeyeon being a dominant Ni user and also she’s not an extrovert like Heeyeon would be the last member I’d believe is an extrovert I’m serious e to i in EXID goes Jeonghwa/Solji/Hyelin>LE>Hani don’t argue with me. Or do idc but like I’m not wrong on Jeonghwa and Heeyeon. (like I once saw someone call Ahn Heeyeon an ENFP? nahh) but also idk

I think she shows more of a Te then Fi than the opposite (Fe then Ti) so I’m going with INTJ I think. 

Anyway, Heeyeon is super logical and detailed. Think about what made EXID so famous in the first place, Heeyeon literally taking actual written notes of what exact angles make her look best while performing. Her selfies are really popular (because she’s gorgeous?duh) and when she talks about her selfies she says they’re great because she took note of how she looks prettiest when her head is tilted at a 45 degree angle. Who measures that? Who? Nerds. That’s who. Hot nerds. Nerds trying to make sure their popularity stays up and they have no weaknesses. Scary hot nerds.

She takes notes in her notebook (which they all call her death note) of like everything she possibly can? Her calories, her workouts, any new findings in her selfie angles, and when people make her angry. She literally writes down the date and what they did and everything. She’s like the scary anime kid that comes out of the shadows and pushes their glasses up and says something weird then writes in their notebook. Kyoya Ootori she’s Kyoya from Ouran High School Host Club. My husband and my wife I have a type.

But then here’s the thing, she also really feels the need to have people like her? Like she used to diet and gain and lose weight (she’s not anymore thank God) and she got in trouble and was criticized by netizens for “just saying what she thinks will make people happy in that moment” which is honestly pretty true but I think it might’ve only really been true for that time. That was back when she had just gotten popular and she was still getting used to it and she was on so many shows right after doing nothing but eating ramen all day basically so I honestly think she could’ve just been worried about EXID’s fame and her image and everything because lately especially now she’s more like she was back when they were promoting Every Night like she’s very openly braggy and less anxious so I think it could’ve just been a stress and anxiety thing? Because now especially with the other girls she seems much more open about the other sides to her personality so I still think she could be an Fi not an Fe.

She also said when talking about what she’s like in love and all:

“I would say I’m a stronger type. I have charisma. I hear that a lot actually haha.”

She also seems more Se than Si but I can’t place exactly why. @fizzybubblespop also said that they’d say she was an INFJ but she seems so “present” that having Se as her last function doesn’t seem right. 

I kinda agree but I also think it makes sense since she is a bit wired and outward and everything but she’s much more of a person who needs to sit and think about things a bit, spacing out sometimes and stuff. I could see Se over Si for sure but like lower than things like Ni and Te to me. 

Hyelin - ESTP or ESXP

Hyelini hea lini hey lini hey jenny idk umm I think she has a higher F something and she’s a perceiver but I’m not sure on much else. She’s probably an extrovert to me but I also could possibly see her as a social introvert? She said on Showtime that after spending a lot of time with people she needs to spend time alone to relax for a few hours. But @lencoexid​ did point out that it’s more likely that it’s her attention shifting and her getting bored or tired of that situation and wanting something else.

I had never even thought of Hyelin as an ESFP before until lencoexid brought it up and I was like hmm? and when you think about it it could actually work well.

So, ESFP starts with Se, the extroverted sensing function. On this website they explained Se like this:

“Extroverted sensing is focused on taking in the world as it exists in the present moment. It is highly in tune with the sights, smells, sounds and general physical stimulus that surrounds it. Extroverted sensing lives and thrives in the moment, more so than any other function.”

Hyelin is someone who is a regular at bars and actually said she drinks for the feeling of being drunk. She said she doesn’t see the point of drinking if you’re not going to get drunk. She also traveled all the way to Jeonju randomly just to go to a specific restaurant there that she likes.  

The problem here though comes when you get to the 2nd function which is Fi. To me, she seems more Fe. She had a secret job when EXID was broke, she was actually kinda uncomfortable when Solji and Jeonghwa had that argument in Showtime and she tried to make jokes about it and diffuse the situation it seemed.

She said when she’s in a relationship:

“I am really the submissive type, when I am in the wrong I bow down to my boyfriend and apologize right away, (hehe) but when I know that he is lying then I become more of a strong unni style.”

And so she seems pretty Fe when I think about it compared to Fi, she seems more about group harmony than her own inner feelings even if she is blunt and everything, at the end of the day she has many friends who all are very different (Shinsadong Tiger said in an interview once that Hyelin is friends with everyone and is even friends with a politician), she works to keep her friendships with people from her childhood and she doesn’t like when things mess with that. Remember when she just grabbed a mic and said “Minhyuk and I aren’t dating” because she wanted to end rumors before they got big? She’s very blunt and “crazy” and wild and she’s very into being the humorous one of the group that makes everyone laugh but she’s also very open and straight-forward when she doesn’t like something or when something is messing with the dynamic, you know?

Now, ESTP has Se>Ti>Fe>Ni and lencoexid and I both agree that between the two, Hyelin seems more Ti than Te (Te is more Solji’s thing lbr).

Jeonghwa - ISFJ or XSFJ

 I think she has high Fe and probably dominant Fe because the girls are always saying she’s so empathetic and she’s so good at relating to people’s feelings, etc. Heeyeon said she was jealous of how empathetic Jeonghwa is, when Heeyeon was trying to explain herself Jeonghwa jumped in and helped her out (I can’t remember what it was but it was on a radio show and she kinda explained for Heeyeon), she’s very open about how she feels about things and what she thinks of things (all of EXID are pretty blunt but especially Hyelin>LE>Jeonghwa), she’s also the one that takes charge even though she’s the youngest to try to keep things under control just a little but she’s still kinda sensitive? She also likes planning things and sticking to a schedule as she said on NCT night night, her and Heeyeon like sticking to plans and Elly and and Hyelin like to go with the flow. And with ISFJ and ESFJ Si is high (1st or 2nd) and this website says this about higher Si users:

“SJs do not venture out seeking novel sensations, experiences, or material goods. Instead, they prefer a more routinized and predictable lifestyle, functioning more as “homebodies.””

Then it says this about high Fe users:

“FJs, especially EFJs, are quick to outwardly express their feelings, opinions, and grievances. Fe plays a prominent role in attuning to and empathizing with others’ emotions. It allows FJs to recreate another’s emotion state within themselves, allowing them to literally feel what the other person is feeling. FJs also work to meet others’ needs and to maintain harmony in the external environment. They ensure that everyone is getting along and is well cared for. At the same time, since Fe is an Extraverted Judging function, there are times when FJs are compelled to sacrifice external harmony for the sake of asserting their judgments. FJs also enjoy giving counsel and advice, especially with regard to people-related matters.“

She’s the most social and empathetic but she also prefers staying at her house and reading and her favorite author is Alain de Botton (which I think she said on Weekly Idol?) and that guy is a philosopher.

“de Botton deals with the process of falling in and out of love. De Botton wrote a sequel to Essays in Love, published in 2016, titled The Course of Love.”

“In The Consolations of Philosophy, de Botton attempts to demonstrate how the teachings of philosophers such as Epicurus, Montaigne, Nietzsche, Schopenhauer, Seneca, and Socrates can be applied to modern everyday woes. The book has been both praised and criticized for its therapeutic approach to philosophy.”

In The Architecture of Happiness[11] (2006), he discusses the nature of beauty in architecture and how it is related to the well-being and general contentment of the individual and society. He describes how architecture affects people every day, though people rarely pay particular attention to it. A good portion of the book discusses how human personality traits are reflected in architecture.

etc.

So this girl loves people, is social, also prefers to stay in and read (philosophy), is empathetic, blunt, likes schedules, mischievous, studies English and Chinese just cause she wants to improve in those things (she’s also an idol so there is a bit of a responsibility to do that but she doesn’t have to), etc. Like. Someone who knows MBTI well come type her instead cause idk. To me she’s either ISFJ or ESFJ and she seems more extroverted to me it just seems like she’s got a higher Fe than Si and so on than the other way around, but I think that’s more up to just how you perceive her I mean she is an idol and I forget a lot so ISFJ or ESFJ. 

I’ve learned a lot. Thank you for your time. Also Solji’s was the hardest and the mystery woman needs to come back so we can look into this more, agreed? Agreed. @solji when did you become so hard to figure out you’re louder than Jeonghwa sometimes

#but it'd be better if someone who actually knows more on this stuff did this #it was just an ask that turned into an essay that isn't that great but is decent enough ig #if you think so #could be better worded but I'm not a writer #**clearly** #lencoexid helped a lot though #so thank you #Solji's is the one I'm less sure on like idk why but the others I see a lot more #but ik this isn't well done but like here's my (and lencoexids) opinions? #should I make little edits #I'm bad at that stuff so like I shouldn't but I kinda want to now that it's in my head #it's lencos fault #maybe i should #they'd be kinda ugly but like maybe I should just for fun #I'm bored and it'd be something to do #exid

[littleshroomclan]

Follow Through

Previous | First

BOI, this is a looooong time coming, and I’m so excited to share this with everyone!! Things are really kicking off now !!

P.S. I used Toci’s future preview in the header, one day she’ll actually look like that LOL

pings:@carnifex-rising @deadlanddisciple @murdoch-fr @clockworktophat-fr @unkorea @kattafr@avalonianrising @jadedragons @majestyrising@webwing-alpha @fusefr​ @corpsejack-fr​ @hellkite-fr​ (Please let me know if you’d like to be pinged!! Sorry if I forgot anyone!!)

Warnings: Implied sexual abuse

“Are you sure about this?” Mortis carefully wrapped linens around his palms, flicking his gaze up to glance at Toci, “When it all kicks off, there won’t be a lot of time to react. Things could go wrong very quickly.”

Toci fixed her solemn stare on Mortis. The two were both veteran warriors, who shared many hardships and battles together. He didn’t often question her judgment or decisions, usually agreeing with her plans without fail. She shook her head, unwavered by his indecision.

“Things are about to heat up anyways, the child was successful. Once Betsalel discovers that the Emperor is dead, both Absinthe and Watcher will be at risk. It must be now.” Mortis nodded, he had agreed with her already, but secretly wanted to test her resolve.

“Do you have the spell memorized?” Toci probed, silently beginning the job of applying different protection and stealth runes to her skin. He grunted in response, patting his pocket.

“Plus extra copies just in case.” Toci finished her work, moving on to craft more runes onto Mortis.

“Good. Let’s go.”

The inside of the makeshift castle was bleak, as always. The setting sun peeked in through windows carved out of the clay walls, casting long shadows down the hallways. The pair snuck through the winding passageways, sticking to the sides. Eventually they reached two rooms, they split off, each going into one.

“Your Majesty, it’s time.” Mortis stepped over to Watcher, who was slumped over onto a clawed up table. Watcher’s pale, blind eyes looked towards Mortis, almost hopeful.

“Absinthe.” It was a question, even through all the pain he had suffered at the king’s hand, he still worried only for his sister.

“Toci is with her now, do you need to gather any of your things?”

Watcher shook his head, “No, there is nothing for me here.” He attempted to stand, nearly falling to his knees before Mortis caught him.

“Your Majesty, are you alright?” He wrapped his arm around the waist of the frail man.

Watcher coughed bitterly, clutching his side “Yes, please excuse me, Betsalel just left.” Mortis looked away, ashamed.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t come sooner.” He held the prince tight to his side, bearing most of his weight.

“Let’s just go.”

Across the hall, Toci had begun preparations for Manto’s spell. She’d mixed the herbs, made a salt circle around Absinthe, and placed crystals for each cardinal direction. She thumbed the mixture, swiping it across Absinthe’s forehead, which pulled a layer of dirt and blood off of her.

The state of the Queen was devastating: blood was caked to her whole body, her hair was matted in knots, she was covered in scratch marks and dark colored runes that oozed a putrid liquid. She was barely clothed, a torn sack that showed off bruised skin taut over bone. It disgusted Toci, that Absinthe had been treated this way, practically left to die unless Betsalel wanted her to bear more children.

Mortis came in with Watcher, and they watched the door while Toci began her incantation. The spell was designed to repel the Shade away from her, the very Shade that was keeping her in unnatural sleep. Light began to glow in Toci’s hands as her chant started to speed up. She pressed her palms against the Queen’s chest, pushing the light into her skin. Absinthe’s body began to glow with a soft light as black sludge melted out of her pores, dripped down her body and dissolved into the salt circle. After a few moments the light dimmed, the black runes that covered her had faded to dull scars, and her breathing returned to normal. Toci gingerly picked Absinthe up, carrying the Queen in her arms bridal style.

“Quickly, it won't be long until he takes notice.”

Toci stood outside the hut they’d taken the wounded royals to. There, Manto and Marrow tended their injuries, and made sure there were no lingering traces of shade. It had been a few hours since the rescue; there was still no word from inside the hutch, and Toci was beginning to grow anxious.

As if on cue, Manto emerged from inside ,fixing her gaze on the horizon.

“They are well, before you ask.” Manto didn’t break her stare, choosing not to meet Toci’s eyes.

“I expected no less, diviner.” The castle was barely visible in the distance, above it were angry grey storm clouds, and crackles of thunder echoed through the territory.

“Their injuries were horrific, to say the least.” Toci nodded, reflecting on what she had seen, “They were even worse than you saw. The physical injuries were cruel, but both of their mental conditions are… fragile, to say the least. They have long healing journeys ahead of them.”

Toci remained silent, nothing she could say would even begin to express the hopelessness of their situation. Even though the Emperor was dead and their monarchy was secure, they still had to finish the rest of their plans to secure the safety of the clan and defeat Betsalel.

“Do you think he knows that it's begun?” The storm clouds over the castle had migrated to the swamp and small drops fell through the husk of the Gildergleam. Manto allowed the drops to splash on her dark, freckled skin. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, enjoying the smell of the fresh rain. Exhaling, she opened her palm to catch more raindrops before scanning the castle once more.

“Without a doubt.”

#fr #flight rising #shroom lore #shroom posts #YALL #i have much planned so hang on folks

[intoxicatingswift]

the 1:

God the line if my wishes came true it would've been you OK THAT HIT

this feels like a iftye but like folklore version

UGH THE BRIDGE ACTUALLY HIT why was this my exact mood yesterday I already called it I knew I needed this album

cardigan:

can i just say im here for taylors lower tone

A FRIEND TO ALL IS A FRIEND TO NONE ok facts

the Peter losing Wendy line really got me cuz that used to be a thing w me n some1 *cries*

chasing shadows in the grocery line nooo

this is like an other side of the door but folkmore IDK IT JUST REMINDS ME OF IT

the last great american dynasty:

god i had to restart it 3 times my fam r so noisy pls.

i really feel like the stripped back style of production really allows taylors lyrics and storytelling within songs to shine. like ive got the maddest mental images of screaming matches between Rebecca and bills family and small town style rumours passing from someone to another

mental music video basically and also u can see the strength of rebecca which is only paralleled by smth ive experienced from books/TV? imagine the skill it takes to tell such a story in a few minutes that people see in 358 pages or 12 1hr installations

EXILE YES BON IVER:

can u tell im excited for this one

ughhh his harmonies are always *chef's kiss*

side note this rly is pushing me and giving me a better sense of identity for the sort of music I want to make thank u Taylor 🥺

god taylor urs and bon ivers voices go together so beautifully u both know how to make a harmony so good

the metaphors are so.... UGH I LOVE

my tears ricochet:

im in love with the vocalising in the intro omg

if I'm on fire you'll be made of ashes too yes hunger games let's go (no for real I just re read it and loved it again so)

ok no the lyrics on this one just HIT me particularly even tho I'm gonna say that on every song OK

I feel like theres a lwymmd ref in here 😶

the line I didn't have it in myself to go with grace spoke to me like i feel like that was extracted directly from my brain

still can't believe we actually got a whole album wth

mirrorball:

MIRRORBALL U COUNTRY BEAUTY

this song just feels like calm vibes as a blanket, stolen kisses

bro.... i literally wrote half a song with the lyrics that have the same gist of the bridge the whole idea of the circus no longer existing and yet u still feel like u have to perform for that one person cause u need to prove that they made the wrong choice leaving i

seven:

God her voice is hauntingly beautiful here

and though I can't recall your face I still got love for you what a beautiful way to express that you're always loved by someone even if you're no longer close, you live in memories and that's 100% enough and you're enough

THE ENTIRE SECOND VERSE IS ME AND MY FRIENDS AS TEENAGERS? God that hurt especially bc the sentiment of my prev things applies to those same people

SHOUT OUT TO INDIA TAYLOR I FEEL SO SEEN RN LMAO

august:

ahhhhh we had cruel summer and now we have august

"lost in the memory" is one of my favourite lyrics anyway and now taylors used it i

did taylor find out like the story of my life 2016- present bc like this seriously hits the "you were never mine" and the emphasis on August i

OK THE BRIDGE WAS MEEEEEE OH MY GOD how do i write my shitty album when this *gestures to entire folklore aggressively* exists.

oh the outro :( whoever said this is taylors melodrama was onto smth fr

this is me trying:

just looking at the lyrics is this ootw; the next chapter 👁️👄👁️

this is so beautifully sad

you're a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in my town okkkkkkkkkkk wow 🥺

illicit affairs:

why do i feel like this is joe and tays story post met gala👁️

YOU SHOWED ME COLOURS IS SUCH A METAPHORICALLY DEEP AND BEAUTIFUL LINE HI OOTW REFERENCE

invisible string omg OK I claimed this one pre listen:

oh crap the colour references already spoke to me bc long ago I had a concept to link songs to colours

also the idea of storybook romance as well with the "used to think I'd meet somebody there"

i love the invisible string theory also oh my god

BAD BLOOD OMG this is such a random detail abt how Joe heard bad blood the first time he was in LA and I love it

LMAO not taylor getting recognised on their anniversary trip 😭

also can i just say the plucking strings keeping the same rhythm/volume the way through somehow contributes to the invisible string theory i loooooveeeeee the lyric/music matching here (did i just somehow compare this to vq matching? think so ok maybe there's hope for me as a medic yet 💀)

taylor rly said fuck adam tom and whoever else Joe is it

OK THE REFERENCES TO GOLD HI DWOHT

ALSO PURPLE PINK SKIES HELLO INTHAF AKA MY STAN SONG WHICH EVERYONE SLEEPS ON

safe to say i made a correct choice stanning this song pre listen ahahaah

mad woman:

the chords on this i am in love, the chaos of the string instruments yessss

here for the strength lol

this is i did something bad but quiet scary angry version

CALLED IT HELLO IDSB REFERENCE

ugh the delicacy in how the words are pronounced in the second chorus shows how hurt and strong u can be simultaneously

mirrored ofc by the soft piano and percussion of hand claps ugh taylor im so happy u made this album

epiphany:

im getting let it all go vibes from this also bon iver

oh it's coronavirus :( yeah

side note wear a mask this seriously was unprecedented and ik at my work (icu) while I was FT we had a couple boxes of antiviral ppe and I did a shift just as things got bad here and it was all completely gone. at the time we'd only had a couple query covid cases so pls. WEAR A MASK ESP U LOT ON THE TUBE/TFL RAIL

i feel like this song reflects how slow the pain can be when ur losing someone like literally watching their breaths slow and also the emotional pain.

betty:

omg this is one of the teenager love story three aaahhhhh it's so cute BUT I SERIOUSLY REMEMBER THE TEENAGE ANGST oh man i Really do

also hello country tay

ugh all ur stupid friends it seriously sounds like 17 year old boy 😭

peace:

LOVE THAT GUITAR RIFF YES AM SO HERE FOR THAT

I made good choices in the songs I chose pre listen all of this is literal poetry and I'm so glad I can focus on the lyrics more because of the production yes i know I already said that

DREAMSCAPES I LOVE THAT WORD I WAS JUST THINKING I NEED TO INCORPORATE IT INTO A SONG

the i-i-id in I'd swing with you for the fences, the delicacy in "give you a child"

now I see your brother as my brother hello paper rings reference (it's not even but yall know)

the rain (paps/media) can well and truly fuck off

"would it be enough if I could never give you peace" actual poetry.

hoax:

i love the dainty piano ugh that HIGH night

the octave differences on the chorus

don't want no other shade of blue hello paper rings

OK this one has a lot to unpack tbh i probably will pore over this like the English poetry i missed out on by choosing stem

also fuck kimberly lmao

[hiro-melodie7228]

Just reposting this

It was a cold and dreary night in the world of Lumen, the pitter-patter of rain falling on the armored helmets of two guards could be heard. The gates to heaven, or Tenebris as they call it, a large wall with millions of brick towers attached with a large steel gate in between, was what these two brutes dared to guard the world from. In the darkness, I was careful to keep the splashing of my feet wading through the flooded water of the black top road to a minimum. They mustn’t hear me. The two began to converse, one turning to the other, muttering, “hey, have you heard of the druid boy?”

“Everyone on this side of the earth has heard of Bong-Ju, why?” the other guard replied, waving one of his camouflaged, buff arm, the other occupied by a gun. “I could use that” I thought to myself, hiding behind a bush, shivering, anticipating the moment I would take those guards down.

“I heard that he’s trying to escape to Tenebris. You know, the place where the scum live?”

“Scum like him? I doubt it. Why would he want to go there if that place just has a bunch of monsters.”

“Well, if he is coming, we should be ready.” The two soldiers were unaware of my presence as I plan a smoke grenade right under their noses. The egg shaped grenade rolled out of my hand, floating directly in between the two soldiers. Four seconds… Three seconds… Two seconds… one second… Boom! The grenade bursted, the two soldiers squealing like the pigs they are. I tugged the gun out of the left man’s hands, a glowing inferno exploding out of my hand, destroying the gate before I ran to my freedom in Tenebris. I am The Druid Boy of Lumen, a scoorage amongst the angels.

-------The Dullahan of Tenebris POV-------------------------------------------------------------------------

I tousle my cotton-candy pink hair in anticipation as I walk out of the plane and through a corridor leading to the inside of the airport, the normals, they stare upwards to see my always severed head in my hands. Their eyes widened and they began to shake as a great burst of flame came from where they thought my head should be. They pointed at me, screaming as if they were in excruciating pain and my very existence pained them to the point where they had the nerve to call me out. “Stop it with the screaming!” I yelled at the group, the inferno growing larger and larger until I felt a hand on my shoulder. This hand was soft, yet it was firm and that of sheer discipline. It felt so familiar…

“Xannie, leave them be, they just immigrated from Lumen, so they wouldn’t know what we’re like,” a woman, with my same wavy cotton candy hair, turned me around so I would face her. She was about a foot shorter than I was and had beautiful sun kissed skin. She was my mother. The only person I had in my life. Mom escorted me toward the baggage pickup area, demi-humans on every corner. I saw vampires, yokai, ghosts, sirens, cyclopes, giants, even a few centaurs. However, one centaur stook out to me, she eagerly clippity-clopped as her luggage finally arrived to her arms. The bag was HUGE, large enough to fit a horse! It was a wonder that some normal construction worker built the conveyor belt for something that big. Her luminous chestnut brown hair waved along with her movements as she seemed to gracefully lift the large baggage, a fellow centaur, seemingly her mother shown by her perfect posture and old shoulder padded dress from the 70’s said, “Hana, are you sure you can handle this? Your father and I can help.” ‘Hana’s’ supposed mother folded her hands as if she was about to pray.

“No thanks mom, I can handle this on my own,” Hana replied as she eagerly lugged her bags along, eventually spotting me. I turned my attention to my baggage, a large midnight black bag with wheels and an extendable handle. It floated above me, seemingly on it’s own accord, but, as if on instinct, I turned to the centaur girl, who held her hands toward the bag, clenching her teeth as if she was lifting it via telekinesis. The bag fell with a slam onto the floor in front of my size 14 feet, the handle facing the smoke resonating from my neck. “Hey!” I heard Hana’s voice say as her heavy panting got closer and closer to me.

“.....” I said nothing, staring up to see her smiling… at me? I fiddled with the itchy collar of my white button-up shirt, sweating and tapping my foot against the white tiled flooring. My glasses slipped off of my face, her hand gently clasping them in her shapely hand and handed them to me.

“You could’ve been in big trouble if these fell. My name is Hana, what’s your name mister?” her sparkling grey eyes glimmered with wonder and curiosity as her pointed ears twitched like that of a cat waiting for the right moment to pounce on a laser pointer.

“I-I Uhh… My name is Xanthus, b-but please call me Xannie.” I stuttered, my right hand taking the glasses, my muscular arm extending toward her. I quickly put my glasses on and lifted my head up to face her.

“Ooo!” she giggled harmoniously, my tanned face turning a slight shade of pink. “You’re quite tall if you can surpass a centaur, even though your head isn’t on your neck.” I clenched my fist, my eyes widening in disgust. Was this girl like the rest of them? “Oh dear, I hit a nerve, my apologies, Xannie was it?” she exclaimed, waving her hands in front of her, her expression frantic.

“Don’t worry, just don’t mention it to me again..” I replied. A shadow creeped up behind her, a cloak draped over their face. I could make out a face, in the darkness of the hood, it’s cheeks marked in red. It had markings? Yes, but these markings weren’t any ordinary face paint. The sideways crimson crescents glowed ominously in the shadow… These markings were those of a druid. It seemed to notice my staring, quickly fleeing out the automatic doors of the airport.

“What’re you looking at?” Hana asked, trying to look where I was look, which was towards the exit, advertisements for fast food and the airport itself on the doors.

“Druid…” I whispered, before rolling my bags’ wheels on the dingey star-patterned carpets towards the door, hana following soon after, gasping out in fear.

“You don’t mean The Druid of Lumen?” I froze. The Druid of Lumen was some silly urban legend about a young druid who lurked the streets of Lumen, trying to avoid execution and to escape. He did everything he possibly could, stealing from merchants, even killing when he was desperate. He was considered a symbol of freedom for the people suffering in Lumen, for the ones who could think for themselves, and for the demi-humans.

“Why would he be here?” I asked myself, wondering what would bring him to Orlando, Florida. “He got all the way here from Lumen?” I strutted out the doors, turning my head around to maximize my vision of the area. The Druid was gone… there was only a parking lot buzzing with the honks of cars and the yelling of raging drivers. Once again, I felt that same hand on my shoulder, my head turning to face my mother.

“Xannie, lets just go home now, it’s time…” My mother sighed, escorting me away to her rental toyota. I waved Hana goodbye as we temporarily parted ways.

------------The Druid Of Lumen POV------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I jumped into a taxi the second I found one, the driver saying, “where are you going?”. The car was suffocatingly hot, and a incredibly dingey. Did this guy even bother to take care of his car? I plugged my nose, trying to ignore all the nonsense just this once.

“Take me to the nearest hotel or homeless shelter,” I replied, my face grimacing in disgust, pinching my nose to avoid the smell of rotten eggs and pizza crust. The man simply nodded at my request and began to drive. A cold sweat dripped down the back of his thick neck, his short, partially shaved, curly blond hair drenched from the heat, as I tap my nimble fingers against my lap, patiently anticipating potential betrayal. Back in Lumen, you couldn’t trust anyone, unless they were rebelling alongside you, but here, who knows if I could trust anyone. We passed through the security of the airport to leave the place, the driver reached out his sweaty and bruised arm (Why would this man be so scarred?), placing a card into the slot and pulling it out soon after.

“So, you’re The Druid of Lumen?” the driver asked, as he turned the greyish steering wheel to the left out of the parking lot.

“If I said I was, what would you do about it, mister?” I grimaced, my face and body radiating with heat as I waited for an answer.

“I would say that I’m sorry for the smell, I was reassigned this car for work and well, the last person who drove this didn’t take good care of it.”

“So you wouldn’t take me back to Lumen?” I squinted at him, still suspicious of this mysterious driver until I noticed the bull horns protruding from his skull. That’s when I realized, this wasn’t a normal this was a Demi-Human, a Minotaur to be specific.

“No way! You’re a hero here, a sign of freedom!” The driver’s olive toned, tan face became visible to me in the mirror hanging from the car ceiling. His pretty green eyes glimmered with hope and inspiration, like he idolized me.

“I don’t want you to freak out, but I am The Druid of Lumen.” He gasped, a grin stretching across his face. He radiated no malice, only genuine happiness and excitement.

“Yessir! I won’t fr-freak out! B-By the way, I’m Nuona!” The man, now I know is Nuona, drove by several lights, looking like stars in a line. Stars. I want to reach the stars. I pressed my face against the car window as we passed three other cars, each different in their own ways. Whether it be color, structure, or license plate, they weren’t the same. We eventually drove up to a large building with a sign by it saying “hotel” by it in fancy bold lettering. “Here is where we stop sir. Here’s my number, call me whenever you need my services again!” Nuona says as he handed me a piece of paper with a bunch of numbers and dashes. I felt confused, looking up at him with my glowing eyes wrinkling at the edges from a grin stretching across my face. Maybe I needed to input this number into a phone? I didn’t know. I opened the door with a creak, waving the young minotaur a goodbye before strutting towards the hotel. “He was kinda cute” I thought to myself, shaking it off as I opened the door to the hotel.

--------------Dullahan of Tenebris POV-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I walked into the kitchen of our new and empty house. The counter-tops of white marble looked as if they were to fall off the wooden bases. Crumbling. Like porcelain. The white and blue checkered flooring gave a sense of home. “Our home in crete had the same colors as these,” I thought to myself. My grip on my head loosened. I must look. Look at home.

“Xanthus!” My mother yelled, my grip becoming firm once more, “Isn’t this place great? It’s smaller but at least you won’t have to work so hard to support me..” She put a hand on my shoulder, leading me to a large window. The window lead to our backyard which was full of roses, carnations, lotus’s,- in short, it was like a garden of eden. “Look here, this is the beauty of a new life.”

“It’s a fresh start, mom. I’m glad I can live this new life with you,” I say, in awe of the beauty of our backyard. I pressed my face against the window. The colors. They were so much. A rainbow of flowers and plants of all kinds. The sun shined upon me, everything feeling so fresh, making me want to live here. I felt ready for whatever was going to be thrown at me.

Boy was I wrong.

#repost #oc canon

[romancatholicreflections]

8th April >> Fr. Martin’s Gospel Reflections/Homilies on John 20:19-31 for the Second Sunday of Easter: ‘My Lord and my God’. Second Sunday of Easter Gospel (Europe, Africa, New Zealand, Australia & Canada) John 20:19-31 Eight days later, Jesus came again and stood among them In the evening of that same day, the first day of the week, the doors were closed in the room where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews. Jesus came and stood among them. He said to them, ‘Peace be with you’, and showed them his hands and his side. The disciples were filled with joy when they saw the Lord, and he said to them again, ‘Peace be with you. ‘As the Father sent me, so am I sending you.’ After saying this he breathed on them and said: ‘Receive the Holy Spirit. For those whose sins you forgive, they are forgiven; for those whose sins you retain, they are retained.’ Thomas, called the Twin, who was one of the Twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. When the disciples said, ‘We have seen the Lord’, he answered, ‘Unless I see the holes that the nails made in his hands and can put my finger into the holes they made, and unless I can put my hand into his side, I refuse to believe.’ Eight days later the disciples were in the house again and Thomas was with them. The doors were closed, but Jesus came in and stood among them. ‘Peace be with you’ he said. Then he spoke to Thomas, ‘Put your finger here; look, here are my hands. Give me your hand; put it into my side. Doubt no longer but believe.’ Thomas replied, ‘My Lord and my God!’ Jesus said to him: ‘You believe because you can see me. Happy are those who have not seen and yet believe.’ There were many other signs that Jesus worked and the disciples saw, but they are not recorded in this book. These are recorded so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing this you may have life through his name. Gospel (USA) John 20:19–31 Eight days later Jesus came and stood in their midst. On the evening of that first day of the week, when the doors were locked, where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in their midst and said to them, “Peace be with you.” When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side. The disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained.” Thomas, called Didymus, one of the Twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples said to him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nailmarks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” Now a week later his disciples were again inside and Thomas was with them. Jesus came, although the doors were locked, and stood in their midst and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands, and bring your hand and put it into my side, and do not be unbelieving, but believe.” Thomas answered and said to him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you come to believe because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.” Now, Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples that are not written in this book. But these are written that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that through this belief you may have life in his name. Reflections (4) (i) Second Sunday of Easter We know that fear can be very disabling. We can be tempted to hold back from saying something because we are fearful of how it will be received. If we suspect that someone is going to oppose us for doing something, we can be tempted not to proceed with it, even though we might know in our heart of hearts that it is the right thing to so. Today’s gospel introduces us to a group of fearful disciples. They fear those who put Jesus to death, suspecting that what they did to Jesus they could do to them. It may be Easter Sunday, but the shadow of Golgotha hangs over them. The risen Lord comes to his fearful disciples. The evangelist simply states: ‘He stood among them’. Standing is often a sign of strength and confidence. We speak of people standing on their own feet, or standing their ground. The Lord stood in all the strength of his risen life, a life that no one could take from him. Rather than standing, the disciples were cowering, trying to make themselves small, invisible even. In standing among them, the Lord led them from fear to joy, from weakness to strength; he enabled them to leave their self-imposed prison and to go forth as his joyful and confident messengers of Easter good news. We may be able to identify rather easily with that group of fearful disciples. Fear can prevent us from witnessing to our faith. The culture in which we live often conveys the message to us that our faith is something very private, to be given expression to only behind the closed doors of our churches. There can be an intolerance of any public expression of faith. In that climate, we can be fearful about giving public witness to our faith in the Lord. We may be committed to the values of the Lord’s gospel, but we can be tempted to hide that commitment from others, fearing ridicule or rejection if we declare where we really stand. We need the risen Lord to stand among us as much as the first disciples did. The feast of Easter assures us that the risen Lord does indeed stand among us, to give us renewed courage to witness to our faith in the places where we live and work. His presence will help us to face today’s crisis of faith. He keeps breathing the Holy Spirit on us just as he breathed the Holy Spirit on his first disciples. The Holy Spirit is like the breath of the risen Lord. The seven-week Easter season is a time to draw strength from the risen Lord who stands among us. It is a season when we are invited to pray, ‘Breathe on me, Breath of God, fill me with life anew’. As well as being able to identify with the fearful disciples, we may also recognize something of ourselves in the person of Thomas. He had not been with the other disciples when the risen Lord appeared to them. After the trauma of Golgotha, he seems to have moved away from the community of disciples. There can be times in our own lives, when, like Thomas, we do not particularly want the company of other disciples. We go apart from the church, the family of believers. There can be all kinds of reasons for this. When the disciples to whom the risen Lord appeared went looking for Thomas in their excitement and declared to him, ‘We have seen the Lord’, he gave them short shrift, ‘Unless I see… unless I put’. He was not ready to return to the fold; he continued to keep his distance. We would have to say of Thomas that, at least, he was an honest man. He cared about what he believed in. He wasn’t going to believe just because others did. He was true to his struggle to believe, even though that meant putting a distance between himself and the other disciples. The risen Lord respected Thomas’ honesty. When he appeared again to the disciples, this time with Thomas present, he accommodated himself to Thomas’ request not only to see but to touch. There was no rebuke, only an invitation to believe. In response to the Lord’s invitation, Thomas made one of the greatest confessions of faith in the gospels, ‘My Lord and my God’. Those who have drifted from the community of believers often go on to become people of deep faith who show others the way. The story of Thomas reminds us that everyone’s faith journey is different. Thomas did not travel to Easter faith at the same pace as the other disciples. No two journeys of faith are the same. The Lord is always ready to meet us where we are on our faith journey. Thomas belatedly came to belong to that group of Jesus’ first disciples who saw and believed. We who gather here this morning belong to a different group. We are among those who have not seen, in the way that Thomas and the others saw, and yet we believe. The gospel reading concludes with the Lord’s final beatitude in the gospels, that embraces all of us gathered here this Sunday. ‘Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe’. And/Or (ii) Second Sunday of Easter We have all become very security conscious in recent years. Most houses are now alarmed. The alarm has become as basic an item as table and chairs. We also feel the need to have good strong locks. Long gone are the days when you could leave the key in the door, at least in the city. Fear of what others can do to us tends to close us in on ourselves, in the very physical sense of getting stronger security, but also in other senses. We tend to be somewhat withdrawn around people we perceive to be very critical. We are slow to open up to someone we think will judge us. We hesitate to share ideas and plans we might have with those who are known not to suffer fools gladly. Fear of others can hold us back and stunt our growth. In the gospel reading today we find the disciples locking themselves into a room because they were afraid of the Jewish authorities. Even though Mary Magdalene had come to them from the empty tomb announcing, ‘I have seen the Lord’, this was not enough to overcome their fear. What had been done to Jesus could be done to them. Self-imposed confinement was preferable to that prospect. The turning point for the disciples came when the risen Lord himself appeared to them behind their closed doors and lifted them beyond their fear. He did this by breathing the Holy Spirit upon them, thereby filling them with the energy and the power of God, freeing them from the fear that held them back and releasing them to share in his mission in the world. In the power of the Spirit they came to life and went forth from their self-imposed prison to witness publicly to the risen Lord. This is exactly the picture of the disciples that Luke gives us in the first reading today. He describes a community of believers, the church, witnessing to the Lord with great power by the quality of their living. We can all find ourselves, as disciples, in the situation of those first disciples as described in the first reading. What Shakespeare calls, ‘the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune’, can wear down our commitment to following the Lord and to serving him with our gifts. Like the disciples in the gospel reading, we can come to a kind of a full stop on our faith journey. The temptation to pull down the shutters and to lock ourselves away can be very strong. The tendency to self-preservation, which, in itself, is a wholesome tendency, can come to dominate our lives, and prevent us from doing what we are capable of doing with the Lord’s help. The wounds we carry from earlier efforts and initiatives can make us hesitate to put ourselves forward again. Even when someone like a Mary Magdalene comes to us full of enthusiasm and hope we are unaffected. We let them get on with it, while we hold back and stay safe. The gospel reading today suggests that the risen Lord will not leave us alone in our self-imposed confinement. If a Mary Magdalene makes no impact on us, the Lord will find another way to enter our lives and to fill us with new life and new energy for his service. Locked doors, or even locked hearts, are no obstacle to the Lord’s coming. He will find a way to enter the space where we have chosen to retreat and he will empower us to rise above what is holding us back. He does require some openness on our part; at the very least some desire on our part to become what the Lord is calling us to be. The risen Lord stands ready to breathe new life into us. He never ceases to recreate us and to renew us in his love. Easter is the season when we celebrate the good news that the power of the risen Lord is stronger than whatever weakness or discouragement might afflict us. In a few moments we will celebrate the baptism of N. What the Lord did for the first disciples on that first Easter Sunday he now does for N., breathing his Holy Spirit upon him. As the Lord re-created the disciples by breathing his Holy Spirit on them, he now creates N. as his disciple through the sacrament of Baptism. Today N. is brought into the community of disciples, the church, and we are gathered here to welcome him into that community. N. does not yet have faith in the strict sense, but we carry the faith for him. We are among those whom the risen Lord calls blessed in the gospel reading, those who have not seen and yet believe. We have not seen in the way that Thomas and the other disciples saw, and yet we believe. It is into this believing community that N. is now about to be baptized. Without such a believing community, baptism would make no sense and could not be celebrated. Once baptized into this believing community, hopefully N. will catch the faith for himself, and, in time, be counted among those whom the Lord declares blessed, those who believe without having seen. The light of the Easter candle, the light of Christ, the light of faith, will be carried for him today and for the coming years, but only until he is ready to take that light for himself and to carry it for himself. In the meantime, N. will look to us to shown him what it means to be a disciple of the Lord, what it means to walk in the light of Christ. We pray that we will each be faithful to our own baptismal calling, so that N. may be helped to grow into his baptismal identity and calling. And/Or (iii) Second Sunday of Easter Cardinal Joseph Bernardin was archbishop of Chicago. He was told in August 1996 that a cancer which had been in remission had returned and that he had only a short time to live. He died the following November. During those two months he wrote a book covering the previous three years of his life, entitled, ‘The Gift of Peace’. One of the most difficult experiences of those last three years of his life was a much publicized accusation of misconduct which was made against him by a young man called Stephen. He subsequently withdrew the accusation and acknowledged that it was false. In his book Cardinal Bernardin describes the reconciliation which he initiated with his accuser. Stephen was dying of AIDS at the time, and at their meeting he offered the cardinal an apology which was gently accepted. Cardinal Bernardin offered Stephen a gift, a Bible in which he had inscribed words of loving forgiveness. Then he showed him a one hundred year old chalice, a gift to the cardinal from a man who asked him to celebrate Mass sometime for Stephen. That Cardinal Bernardin celebrated Mass there and then. He described his meeting with Stephen as the most profound and unforgettable experience of reconciliation in his whole priestly life. In this morning’s gospel reading we find the first disciples dispirited and terrified after the death of Jesus. They have to confront their failure to be faithful to Jesus in the hour of his passion and death. They are in a huddle, having locked themselves away in a room. Suddenly Jesus stands among them and says to them, ‘Peace be with you’ and breaths the Holy Spirit upon them. The risen Lord was reconciling his failed disciples to himself; they came to recognize themselves as forgiven, and, so their hearts were filled with joy. Having experienced the gift of the Lord’s forgiveness, they are sent out in the power of the Spirit to offer to others the gift of forgiveness they have received. ‘Those whose sins you forgive, they are forgiven’. That gift and mission is given to all of us who have been baptized into the risen Jesus. Having been reconciled to the Lord we are all sent out as ministers of reconciliation. The sacrament of reconciliation is, of course, a privileged moment of reconciliation, when we receive anew the Lord’s forgiveness and extend that forgiveness to those who have hurt us. However, there are other, more frequent, moments of reconciliation: the daily forgiveness of our brothers and sisters; the speaking of the hard words, ‘I am sorry’ and the gracious acceptance of another’s offer of apology. In these moments, Jesus is standing in our midst, helping us to break out of situations that can be draining of life for everyone involved. Thomas had not been in the room when the risen Lord appeared to the other disciples. He had missed out on the Lord’s bestowal of the gifts of peace and forgiveness. Thomas seems to have cut himself off from the community of the disciples. He had gone off on his own to nurse his wounds, and so he missed out on the Lord’s presence in the midst of the fearful and failed disciples. He is not unlike so many today who, for a variety of reasons, have cut themselves off from the church. When we cut ourselves off from the community of believers, we lose out greatly. For all its flaws and failings, the church is the place where we encounter the risen Lord. The Lord continues to stand among the community of disciples, especially when we gather in worship and pray, when we gather to serve others in the Lord’s name. It is there that we hear the Lord say, ‘Peace be with you’, that we experience his forgiveness for our past failures, that we hear the call to go out in his name as his witnesses, that we receive the Holy Spirit to empower us to be faithful to that mission. The community of disciples reached out to Thomas; they shared their newfound faith with him, their Easter faith, ‘We have seen the Lord’. Those first disciples remind us of our calling to keep reaching out in faith to all those who, for whatever reason, have drifted away from the community of believers and no longer gather with us. If we do so, we may encounter the same negative response that the first disciples experienced from Thomas, ‘I refuse to believe’. Yet, even though our efforts may fail, as the efforts of the disciples failed, we know that the Lord will keeps reaching out to us when we cut themselves off from the community of faith, just as the Lord reached out to Thomas. ‘Doubt no longer’, he said to him, ‘but believe’. Then, out of the mouth of the sceptic came one of the greatest acts of faith in all of the gospels, ‘My Lord and my God’. Thomas Merton wrote in his book Asian Journal, ‘Faith is not the suppression of doubt. It is the overcoming of doubt, and you overcome doubt by going through it. The man of faith who has never experienced doubt is not a person of faith’. There was a great honesty about Thomas; he didn’t pretend to believe when he didn’t. The gospel reading suggests that such honesty is never very far from authentic faith. And/Or (iv) Second Sunday of Easter Sometimes people of faith can worry when they sense that doubts have crept into their faith. They sense that their faith is not as strong as it used to be because they have all these doubts that they never had in the past. Because of their doubts, prayer does not come as easy to them. They feel that they are no longer on the same wavelength as other people of faith. They start to compare their own faith unfavourably with the faith of others. Yet, faith and doubt are inseparable companions. Some of the church’s saints were plagued with doubt and suffered a great darkness of spirit. Saint Therese of Lisieux comes to mind in that regard. In more recent times, some of the writings of Mother Theresa of Calcutta have revealed that she went through a time of great spiritual darkness and doubt. Thomas Merton was a Cistercian monk who wrote many books that have been an inspiration to many people. He died about twenty years ago. In one of his books called Asian Journal he wrote, ‘Faith is not the suppression of doubt. It is the overcoming of doubt and you overcome doubt by going through it. The person of faith who has never experienced doubt is not a person of faith’. We often have to pass through a period of great religious doubt and scepticism to pass over into a deeper certitude, a certitude which is not just a human certitude but the certitude of God within us. The gospels suggest that those closest to Jesus were no strangers to doubt. In this morning’s gospel reading from John, we meet the figure of Thomas. When the disciples sought him out after the risen Lord appeared to them, they went to Thomas with their wonderful news, the Easter gospel, ‘We have seen the Lord’. Thomas could not bring himself to share their Easter faith; he doubted that what they said could be true. He was like a wall, a block that stopped the good news cold. He laid down very clear conditions before he would believe. He insisted not only on seeing the risen Lord but on putting his finger into holes that the nails had made in Jesus’ hands and feet and putting his hand into the wound in Jesus’ side. Here was someone who wanted physical evidence before he would believe. He needed proof of a kind that would banish all doubt. It can be somewhat disconcerting for people of faith to come up against that kind of attitude. They feel helpless before it. When parents who are people of faith encounter such an attitude in their own children it can be especially distressing. Yet, we cannot force our faith on those who are in a place of doubt, no more than others can force their faith on us when we are in that place. We need to accommodate ourselves to those who cannot share our faith, for whatever reason. This is what we find Jesus doing in the gospel reading. When he appears again to the disciples, this time with Thomas present, he doesn’t reprimand Thomas for his refusal to believe. He meets Thomas in the place where Thomas is, in that place of honest doubt, and he accommodates himself to the conditions that Thomas laid down, inviting him to touch the wounds of his crucifixion. He then gently invites Thomas to move on from doubt to faith, ‘Doubt no longer but believe’. The risen Lord is constantly calling on all of us to go through our doubt and out beyond it into a rich and full Easter faith. He continues to call in that way, even when there is no response forthcoming. The response of Thomas to that call of the risen Lord is very striking. Out of the mouth of the great doubter comes one of the greatest confessions of faith in all of the gospels, ‘My Lord and my God’. It is a confession of faith that has resonated with believers ever since. We often recite it together as one of the responses after the moment of consecration in the Mass. It is often the case that those who have plumbed the depths of great religious doubt and scepticism emerge from that experience as people of unshakable faith. It is as if their faith has been honed and purified in the cauldron of doubt. Thomas joined the ranks of those who saw and believed. However, after Thomas’ great profession of faith, Jesus goes on to pronounce a beatitude upon all those who believe without having seen the risen Lord in the way Thomas and the other disciples saw him. Jesus’ beatitude embraces all future generations of believers, including all of us gathered here this morning. We might be inclined to think that those to whom the risen Lord appeared are more privileged than we are. Yet, Jesus’ beatitude hints that a greater blessedness rests upon us who believe with having seen in the way they did. The risen Lord is as present to us in as real a way as he was to those eyewitnesses, through the community of faith, through the Eucharist and through his word. Through all these sacraments of his presence, the risen Lord calls out to us, ‘Doubt no longer but believe’. Fr. Martin Hogan, Saint John the Baptist Parish, Clontarf, Dublin, D03 AO62, Ireland. Email: [email protected] or [email protected] Parish Website: www.stjohnsclontarf.ie Please join us via our webcam. Twitter: @SJtBClontarfRC. Facebook: St John the Baptist RC Parish, Clontarf. Tumblr: Saint John the Baptist Parish, Clontarf, Dublin.