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justforbooks · 29 days

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Nicholas Shakespeare’s elegant biography of the James Bond author Ian Fleming takes its subtitle from a journalist’s observation, quoted halfway through, that its subject was “for a moment of time, a complete man” while working for British naval intelligence in the second world war. Yet you can’t help read it as a promise to give the reader what was left out of previous biographies such as John Pearson’s crisp, more portable authorised life from 1966. And is there a claim, too, for the alpha male credentials of the man called “Flemingway” by his friend Noël Coward? Journalist, stockbroker, thriller writer and – like his famous creation – a playboy and 70-a-day smoker, who died of a heart attack in 1964 at the age of 56 after a plagiarism row over the origins of Thunderball, the ninth Bond novel.

After a dutiful account of how Fleming’s Scottish financier grandfather became a millionaire – later cutting Fleming and his brothers out of his will – Shakespeare gets going with his subject’s troubled boyhood in the shadow of his father’s death in the first world war. Family friends in Switzerland take his education in hand after hasty exits from Eton (hanky-panky with a woman) and Sandhurst (gonorrhoea). His exams aren’t good enough for the Foreign Office; an engagement to a Swiss lover ends amid maternal threats to cut off his allowance. He falls on his feet at Reuters – it was that kind of life – further honing his knack for a scoop at the Sunday Times, a handy source of contacts for his war work.

Testimony woven from diaries, papers and interviews gives the book a flavour of oral history. Shakespeare goes to great lengths – not least tracking down a 94-year-old veteran, the last surviving member of a covert commando unit that Fleming organised – to dispel the idea that Fleming’s service, occluded by state-sanctioned secrecy, was just “in-trays, out-trays and ashtrays”. The book’s first half puts the future author at the heart of military and journalistic history – a search for German weapons of mass destruction; the race to get an inside scoop on the Cambridge spies – as well as the bedroom shenanigans of the English well-to-do. (Shakespeare, who encourages us at one point to smile at the mention of a “germanely” named Nazi admiral, Assmann, shows his assumptions of his audience when he writes confidently of “that small, turn-of-the-century intellectual clique, the Souls”.)

Fleming may be “the man behind James Bond”, in the subtitle of Andrew Lycett’s 1995 biography, but Shakespeare’s project, you sense, is partly to say there’s more to him. Eager to prove Fleming’s interest beyond the reasons that will draw most of his readers to the book, he is almost comically insistent on the degree to which his subject was ahead of the curve. Not only might he have sparked the idea of creating the CIA – in a memo written when the US-UK special relationship was being forged – but he also came up with the idea of putting a Christmas tree from Oslo in Trafalgar Square.

As for the dozen Bond novels that poured out of Fleming after 1953’s Casino Royale – written in a month in his winter bolthole in Jamaica a year earlier – they were, in Shakespeare’s telling, essentially the literary expression of a midlife crisis accelerated by the encroachments of fatherhood and a faithless union as the third husband of Ann Charteris. They had got together with an affair that caused a high-society scandal during her previous marriage to the Daily Mail heir Esmond Harmsworth; she later cheated on Fleming with the Labour leader Hugh Gaitskell, who told him that the “sex, violence, alcohol” formula of the Bond novels was “to one who leads such a circumscribed life as I do, irresistible”.

Fleming, injecting the American dirt of Mickey Spillane’s Mike Hammer novels into the English thriller, launched 007 on what Shakespeare calls the “spam-munching gloom of Attlee’s Britain”, writing (Fleming told his publisher) in order to make “as much money... as possible” and to have “as much fun as I personally can”. Respectable sales rocketed when JFK took a shine to From Russia, with Love – and the movies were yet to come. While Fleming was self-deprecating – telling Raymond Chandler the Bond novels were “straight pillow fantasies of the bang-bang, kiss-kiss variety” – he was proud enough to greet the director of the first Bond movie, Dr No, by telling him: “So they’ve decided on you to fuck up my work.”

“Luck had to be accepted with a shrug or taken advantage of up to the hilt,” Bond thinks in Casino Royale; he sees luck “as a woman, to be softly wooed or brutally ravaged, never pandered to or pursued”. Squint enough and Fleming took some care to cast his main character in ironic light. Early in that novel, the reader gets a fly-on-the-wall thrill of watching fieldwork in action, with the scene of theatrical care Bond takes to ensure his hotel room isn’t being searched; but soon enough his French sidekick turns up to let Bond know his upstairs neighbours have been listening in to his every move.

In Shakespeare’s biography, the novels are mostly a source of supporting quotation – he doesn’t get bogged down in questions of what it means to read Bond now, confining himself to a remark on how his “cavalier treatment of women... carried the sexual climate of the Blitz into the austerity of the cold war, and was less modern perhaps than it was later cracked up to be”. And perhaps there’s no need for his defenders to overstate the case for Fleming’s novelistic subtlety. Bond has always been shaped by a collective amnesia that allows us to make him what we wish him to be at any given moment; when he parachuted into the Olympic opening ceremony with the queen, it was as the best of British, not as a connoisseur of (Fleming’s words) “the sweet tang of rape”.

The novels, in a way, are irrelevant to 007, but the course of history would surely have run otherwise had Fleming not had the foresight to change his protagonist’s name from the original “James Secretan” – Fleming’s typescript revision perhaps his most significant literary act.

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#just for books #Ian Fleming: The Complete Man #Nicholas Shakespeare #book review

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thekingofwinterblog · 3 years

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It’s all for his sake - Endeavor and the Sunk Cost Fallacy

My hero academia 301 is a pretty interesting chapter, but for me, the most notable piece of it was how Endeavour reacted to the realization that Touya couldnt surpass All Might.

upon realizing that his son might not be able to do it because of inborn physical limitations, he immediatly stopped his training, which frankly was the responsible and adult thing to do.

This stint of real parenthood did not last long however.

After taking the matter to a doctor, he is flat out told that not only cant Touya achive what endeavor wants, but it is a direct result of his incredibly selfish and irresponsible attempt to play god, by trying to breed the “perfect” hero into being.

It is how you react when you lose however, that shows who you really are, and endeavor illustrates that very, very well.

Upon being told in no uncertain terms that his attempts at Breeding an heir failed magnificently, producing a child that was not capable of resisting his own immense power, but also admonished by his doctor for even attempting it, and adviced not to try again, Endeavor instead doubled down, while focusing on the child he screwed over from the start with his attempt at genetic manipulation.

It was all for him you see. Endeavor doesnt use those words, but that is how he spins it here. it was all for Touya, all for his sake. if i stop now, then Touya was all for nothing, a mistake, im doing this for my son.

if im doing this for my son, then im not responsible for any of this.

his wife however, calls him out on it, as she understands Touya much, much more than endeavor does. or rather, she sees him fully as a human being, instead of as a thing, a weapon, a failed attempt at an heir.

Unlike Endeavor, Rei is able to see the way this all is affecting her son. She is able to see, and understand that Touya has fully accepted what Endeavor wanted him to be. a stronger, and better version of himself. however, unlike Endeavor, she only cares about him as a person.

Endeavour by comparison isnt completely uncaring about Touya. like most abusive parents, he does possess love for his offspring, but it is forever tainted by the fact that however much he might care, or not care about Touya, any familial love he has for his son is tainted by the fact that to Endeavor, he is a failed experiment, a failed heir, not his child.

He is the golden child that Endeavor was building up as his true and only heir, who he breed, trained, and molded to for that single purpose, and now that he’s reached a point where he cant continue that legacy.

so, its time to abandon him, and start over new, despite literarily having just learned how stupid this plan was, and that it can, in fact, go completely wrong, with a quirk that will fuck over the person he brings into the world.

Of course, Endeavor doesnt use those words to frame it. there is no way to pretend to be a hero, if you phrase it like that after all. Intead, this is the words he uses.

this is a very important series of panels for a great number of reasons, some that can be debated, argued, and we will probably never know the full truth to the questions because this is a series published in 2020′s shonen jump, and there are things that probably wasnt gonna fly with Hori’s editors, if it was the case.

but lets start with what can not be debated. Endeavor’s words here.

“If we want him to give it up, then we have no choice... Touya... Cant surpass him.”

These are very telling words, and however you believe The third and fourth children of the Todoroki family was concieved, there is not denying the meaning of what he’s saying here.

The only way that my son will stop being an idiot and fall into line, is if we have another baby. that is the only Right way to move forward. it is morally right, because if we dont do this, then he’s going to destroy himself.

there are two ways to interpret this scene.

The charitable way is to read it as the fact that he used Rei’s oldest son’s mental state as a justification of guilting his wife to have a third child, to give this attempt at a superpowered breeding project another shot, despite the fact that they now know that this can lead to a child who is essentially born crippled from his own powers, and despite the fact that Rei obviously understands the effect of them continuing this insanity will have on their oldest son.

the uncharitable way to look at it, is that he used this as justification for flat out raping her, and forcing a third, and then later a fourth child on her.

I personally believe the last one, given a number of factors shown in this chapter(the way this page is framed, the fact Rei obviously didnt want a third child, given she predicted exactly how touya would react, the way her eyes would latet turn when she looks at who is presumably touya which really brings to mind how she would later react to her youngest son’s face after her mental breakdown, etc.), but i’ll frankly admitt that withouth a direct quote from Hori, its impossible to know for sure one way or another.

either way however, this is a very good example of Endeavor both being influenced by, and using Sunk Cost Fallacy to justify bringing another potentially crippled child into the world for his own, selfish goals.

sunk cost Fallacy, is a mental reaction to when you invest more time and resources into a project, that you becomes so emotionally invested into said project that you will continue to invest into it, even if it reaches a point that it becomes clear that the resources you put into it, far, far outweighs the potential gains you can achieve.

because if you give up after having invested years, and years of effort to breed, raise, and train a kid, and then all that effort was absolutely wasted. hence he choose to keep going, despite having learned what a terrible idea this is.

He doesnt care about the fact that his next child might be even more crippled than his firstborn, he doesnt care about his son’s actual wellbeing. he cares about the fact that if he doesnt continue this insanity, then not only will he not achieve his dreams, but everything he did to get to this point was for absolutely nothing.

and endeavor cannot accept that. and so long as he can justify breeding more children into the world, and there being any chance they might inherit both quirks perfectly, he doesnt care about anything else.

and the moment he realised that this kid wasnt gonna cut it either, he did it again. it is not a coincidence, that the age gap between Endeavor’s second, third, and fourth children were all 3-4 years apart. because thats the age where you can usually tell when a quirk will manifest or not, as established earlier in the series.

While she isnt brought up directly by Endeavor as a justification, it is very telling that Endeavor decided on having a third child, only after his second child was old enough that he could tell that that there was no chance she could take the place as his heir instead.

So, he had his third child, and as time passed and it became obvious that he wasn’t gonna be able to fulfill Endeavor’s goals either, he dumped him, and instead breed a fourth child into existence.

and finally, he struck gold. he did it. he produced Shoto.

everything was finally worth it, and now, everything would be absolutely fine. the cost fallacy had reached its end, and it was now all full sails ahead.

except of course it wasnt.

His oldest son, now in middle school, had been raised from birth to believe he would surpass his father, only to be thrown away, and getting to see his father try to replace him, not once, but twice.

frankly, this scene is probably my favorite in the chapter, because it goes to show Endeavor’s mindset. Natsuo made a point that their father completely ignored his older children. and he did... from Natsuo’s perspective. however, having a more thourough picture of things, we can clearly see that this wasnt the case with Touya.

Endeavor genuinly cared for Touya, enough that once he got that child he tried to breed into existence 4 times, he genuinly wanted him to just abandon trying to be a hero. he genuinly thinks of himself as a good dad here, wanting his son to abandon the mission he set out for him before he was born. of course, with context, this heartwarming scene is incredibly sad and insidious, because we understand why Endeavor got so attached to his oldest child. because he WAS the golden child. he was the child Endeavor genuinly cared about, and invested in, and trained personally with great warmth and enthusiasm.

And not only did he abandon him as a failed project the moment he realized he wasnt gonna live up to his ridiculous standards, but he literarily created 2 more kids to try and replace him, just as his oldest son was old enough to understand what exactly his dad was doing. over the course of this chapter, we get to see Touya’s start as a 5-8 year old, his deteriorating mental state over the years, until he finally seemed to reach the breaking point with Shoto’s birth sometime in his middle school years 12-15.

Endeavor is in this scene, just not capable of understanding why Touya so desperately wants to become a hero, when obviously he isnt physically able to do so. he isnt able to understand that he is 100% to blame for the fact that his son is having a full emotional breakdown after literaly being replaced by his siblings.

In other words, Endeavor genuinly think’s he’s a good person. a person who has made a few mistakes along the way sure, but a person who was always justified in the end, and now that he’s having to face the fact that as dabi would later say “The past never dies” and has to face the aftermath of his inane attempt to play god for the pettiest of reasons, things simply arent going to work out.

He isnt going to have a happy family, who can now put the awful early years behind them, he put way too much effort, caused too much suffering and sacrificed too many years of his life for this not to work out as he wants.

after all, if he walks away from this project now, and lets Shoto have a normal childhood, and decide for himself, with no pressure from him, wheter or not to become a hero, then the sunk cost fallacy will have reached a negative end. it will all have been for nothing.

and we know he did eventually double down on this mentality, literarily beating into Shoto that he WAS going to become a hero, and there was not but’s or no’s about it.

there was no way that Endeavor was EVER going to let things be for nothing. His treatment of his older children could not be for nothing. His treatment of his wife could not be for nothing. His treatment of Shoto, and the way he beat him black and blue to train him, could not be for nothing.

Because if it all was for nothing, if everything he feels guilty about was for absolutely nothing, then he was in fact, a bad, bad person, who had no justification for anything he ever did.

#my hero academia #touya todoroki #dabi #endeavor #endeavour #enji todoroki #rei todoroki #character study #301 #meta

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thekillingjoke-haha · 3 years

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Love And Marriage

Spnquotebingo @spnquotebingo

Quote: You don't save a marriage by sleeping with other people.–Lucifer

Mostly Memory: slant/bold. Quote:small/bold

"What the hell, Anthony!" She yelled scaring both brunettes in the bed she shared with him. The women who looked half her age scrambled off the bed in a rush and ran out of the room getting dressed as she ran out the tower. This time she was throwing objects at the genius screaming and swearing every word under the sun. And yes this wasn't the first time, but its sure as hell will be the last. "How could you do this to me!? Time and time again I forgive and you do it again!!" She tried taking control of her emotions, but they over took her and laid everything out on the table.

Tony slipped on his clothes yelling back and forth with his wife. It was a screaming match that all of New York could hear. "Maybe if you weren't such a controlling bitch I wouldn't need to rush into the arms of a women that would get off my back!" He yelled back and she was stunned into silence. Tony continued talking. "Ever since we been together you've been trying to change who I am and I got sick of it, but you were America's golden girl I couldn't dump you. You just couldn't take the hint ,sweetheart." He finished his intoxicated words got the better of him, but drunk words were sober thoughts and maybe this is exactly how he felt after all these years.

"I want a divorce." She said her voice shaking not wanting to cry in front of the man she loved and she thought loved her back. "What?!" He turned on his heels and stared at her the shouting didn't sober him up, but those four words did. "What did you say?" He asked as if he didn't hear her. "I'm through, Tony. I'm tired of this back and forth. You said it yourself your not willing to change your partying playboy ways so I'm through." She said as she went to get her phone to call her brother. "I want a divorce." Those were the final words uttered to him before she stopped talking to him all together taking off the ring made from the metal of his original reactor the diamond glowing the same blue that lulled her to sleep. Y/n twirled the ring in-between her fingers a nervous habit after the years.

Steve got to the tower from his apartment along with Bucky and Sam. His two friends walked into her bedroom to hear Tony shouting and pleading for her to listen to him. Steve went to his sister as his friends pulled the thrashing man out of the room and to a different part of the building so he could cool off. Tony in the end didn't calm down and was getting violent to the point they had to knock him out and by then Y/n was getting packed with the help of Steve

The suitcase was harshly zipped up as she rushed closing it. Tears flowed freely down her face as she packed all her things well all the things she bought herself. She wasn't running, running was for cowards she was escaping before she drowned herself in whatever kind of love she once had with her husband. Y/n breathed in through her nose as her body convulsed with another fit of silent sobs. Trying to calm down she wanted to get think clear. Did she really want to leave? No, but he didn't give her much of a choice. The light tan line on her finger just further proved she wasn't turning back...not this time. Not even for him. Y/n needed time to think without the threat of the end of the world and out from under her now ex's crushing ego.

She was shacking with anger and in grief it happened again and she was done with it all. Tony fucking Stark her husband, lover, best friend cheated on her again for the third time that she knew of. Y/n saw it she was always there at the wrong time almost like he wanted her to see how pleased he was with another. Steve came out of the bathroom with more hygiene products. "How are you feeling? Are you okay?" He asked for what feels like the hundredth time. Steve knew Y/n wasn't okay he could see it and the sight made him want to rip Stark a new one. With a deep inhale she looked up at him with s slight smile as real as she could make it. "I'm okay I just need to get out of here. Fresh air. New scenery if possible." She said as she looked longingly at a picture on the nightstand not noticing that her brother left with her bags while she stared off. The picture was of her fifth date with Tony after being together as boyfriend and girlfriend for two years, a light festival their first openly public date for cameras to capture them together making it official. America's Sweetheart with a Playboy billionaire...that headline alone should have been the first of many red flags.

The memory played vividly in her mind. Her eyes shined like stars as she dragged him behind her. It was still light outside and the small park was crowded. "Come on, Tones!" She said excitedly as she dragged him along. Many people looked at them and whispered, but they didn't care. They spent the night talking about any and everything it felt so natural. Y/n stared into the sky on their picnic blanket having already painted her lantern with a good amount of wet paint still on her hands. "We've been on what feels like a million dates and this seems like the perfect one to ask you. Will you marry me?" Tony said holding a black velvet box with a f/c diamond ring. "I thought you'll never ask!" She pulled him into a kiss paint covering his cheeks as lanterns where released. He kissed back hands resting on her hips. "Let's go home Mrs.Stark-Rogers." Tony said with a smile. "Well come on then Mr.Rogers-Stark." He was once again dragged away. "No no no my name first Steve will not hold that over me!" Y/n giggled as the memory faded into a much older one.

The twelve year old girl was getting her hair brushed by her mother. "Mama what's love like. I know you love daddy so what's it like?" She asked it's been two years since her father died ,but her mother always said she stilled loves him. "Love is a amazing feeling that doesn't happen often and sometimes it can hurt." The blonde women said to her daughter she couldn't tell her wanting love cost more then giving it. "Why will it hurt?" The young h/c girl asked turning around. "You're to young to know right now, but at some point you will." By the time Y/n turned fifteen she learned that loving someone can hurt after she stood next to her brother and best friend looking at the slab of stone that marked their mother's grave.

The first time it happened she was pissed, but not at the right person at the time. The second red flag.. Screams are what filled the house as Y/n threw clothes at the tramp that was in bed with her drunk husband. She was so anger, but that just hid the pain she was feeling three years for him to cheat. After shutting the half clothes harlot out on the front porch of the Malibu home she stormed back to Tony. He stayed in his boxers on the bed looking dazed he was drunk. "Why?" Is all she could ask as tears fell down her cheeks. The billionaire stood up and walked toward her he wiped her tears. "I'll change. I promise." He kissed her head. She believed him she had faith that he couldn't change for them. After all Y/n did the same she gave up being a hero along side her brother because he told her he already worries about getting home to her as Ironman no need to add the stress of not knowing if she'll get home. So she hung up her red, white, and blue catsuit for him.

After a year Y/n sat in her art studio wear she sold her and other rising artist artwork after Tony said she shouldn't paint in the tower,she painted with her brother laughing messing with colors. She was thankful she put down plastic tarp beforehand a giggle rang out when Natasha walked through the door. Without saying anything she drops a magazine on the table of brushes next to Y/n. On the cover was Tony kissing some red head though a window tears welled in her eyes as she wiped her hands he eyes not leaving the cover till it was picked up off the table. Natasha comforted her as Steve took the magazine and paced. " Am I stupid for trusting him? Thinking he would change?" She asked as the waterworks flowed. "No ,if anyone is stupid its him. Ever since he came out as Ironman he thought he was untouchable. God imma kill him!" The red head said while Steve was flexing his hand not wanting to hit any of the stored art pieces. The third red flag for all to see.

The bus rocked back and forth as she looked over at her brother sleeping next to her. They were heading to the airport and he was going to see her off before possibly killing Tony. Speaking of she looked down at her phone and saw dozens of missed calls and hundreds of unread text. She felt that the world was so much bigger after leaving, after getting away from the place that no longer felt like a home. Turning back to the window a memory came to surface as a teenage girl sat on the bus watching old Brooklyn go by. She thought life was so slow she wanted to grow up faster and experience life. Y/n wanted to find love like her parents had. "What are you thinking about doll?" She turned and in Steve's place was Bucky her adoptive big brother. "Nothing important, James." She said with a sigh as the old modeled cares turned back to modern vehicles and yellow taxi's.

Tony woke up and ran around the tower while calling and texting his wife. "Friday track Y/n' s phone. He said as he went to the lab to get in his suit. "She's as NYC airline." The irish voice answered as he stepped into the suit letting it close around him. Before the hatch could open completely he was flying out of the tower to the airport. "Any idea which flight?" He asked wanting to get there before it's to late. "No boss, but the next flight leaving is heading for U.K and boarding in fifteen minutes." Time was running out he needed ever second he could spare. "We'll make it in ten." That night Ironman flew to save whatever he had left.

Y/n held her ticket in her shaking hands her breath uneven. Steve left after the bus dropped her off they said their goodbyes not making the separation hurt any less. Her thoughts came back to Tony all the good times made her smile, but the dark clouds took them over soon after. It felt so right to be in his arms thinking about the future they had with each other within seconds that became a distant memory. What's sad is she wants to go back wondering if she held on to those moments longer they'll last forever. The ring she slipped back on her finger weighed a ton. Y/n didn't have the strength to take it off not for good at least and this made her feel weak. Pain was heavy in her heart from the constant ache, but the little voice kept saying maybe if we tried harder he would have loved us the way we love him, maybe rushing into a relationship wasn't the best idea, maybe he's happier without us ,maybe not telling him about the positive test was the best option ,maybe...maybe.

A hand resting on her stomach she wanted to laugh, but that would have brought on a fresh wave of tears. She started off the day without Tony in bed and sicker then she's been since her pre-serum years. Y/n went to the doctor completely covered form any prying eyes and the test were clear she couldn't believe it she took about ten test in her studio bathroom before heading back to the tower. Howard warned her and Steve that the serum might sterilize them, but at the time both of them were to small and sickly and she knew getting pregnant might kill her anyways so they both agreed to it. Y/n wished she could hug the man today he made her better and let her have a gift she never thought was possible. A baby was growing inside her. Tony never really talked about kids and neither did she since that wasn't a possibility before, but the moment she held five of the clearer test she wanted to rush into his arms and have him be the first to know. That quickly fell apart that evening and now she's here.

The suit landed out side the airport and Tony immediately ran out of it into the building looking through his tented shades he followed the path Friday set for him rushing through security. "Now boarding flight A145 to United Kingdom. Ahora aborda—" The intercom rang out. He was running out of time. There he saw h/c hair one of a couple dozen in line due to the oddly timed flight. "Y/N!!" Many heads turned at the shout while so gasped and whispers started. She looked at him and froze. His eyes looked bloodshot and he wore baggy sweats and a AC/DC shirt. Turning back around she tried to get on the plane quicker, but a hand grabbed her arm. "Please listen to me. I'm so so sorry! I'm a fucking moron okay? I know I just keep screwing up between us and I know you're tired of me saying I'll change, but if it means I keep you in my life I'll do damn near anything." Tony's voice shook as his eyes welled with tears people crowed to see the Starks some seemed to clued in on the subject while others were lost. "You can't fix this Tony. There's nothing to fix between us you said your piece and actions speak louder then words there is no saving this." Y/n whimpered holding her hand in her own.

"I can save us, N/n! Please just give me a chance too. You and me against the world right?" She shook her head no as she looked into his brown eyes with her glassy e/c ones. "Wrong. You just don't get it do you? You don't save a marriage by sleeping with other people. And I gave you more then enough chances to change because God I changed so much for you!! I gave up saving people, gave up painting in the tower, stopped helping Pepper with business, stopped going to briefings, and so much more. All for you and you couldn't do one thing for me." With quivering hands she gently brushed the tears from his cheeks letting her hands go from his shoulders to his hands. "I loved you, Anthony. I always will have a special place in my heart for you, but clearly the same doesn't go for you." Y/n now held one of his hands bringing his knuckles to her lips giving them a chaste kiss.

She let go of his hand as she stepped back from him many of the passengers having already boarded the plane. "Don't say goodbye." He said voice small and weak. "...don't think of this as a goodbye. We just met at the wrong time in the wrong place. Maybe I'll come back to you and just maybe we can start again from the beginning, but until then this is a see you later." She turned and went on board as he stood their feet glued the the floor. Looking down at the hand she held the ring sat in his palm she left him with a piece of his heart while she took the rest with her. What is a marriage without love

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A/n this is the second to last one before the full masterlist is posted. Fyi I wrote a happy ending and if it's really wanted I'll make a short one-shot of it but angst ending for now.

Next quote is a free space and I'm going ham!!!!

#spnquotebingo #tony stark #tony stark x reader #cheating #quote bingo #pregnant!reader #divorce #angst #no happy ending #steve rogers #Rogers!reader #bucky barnes #natasha romanoff #heart break

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books-letstalkaboutem · 3 years

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The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue Quotes that I Loved

This is just a list of quotes or excerpts that I highlighted while reading the book- literally all of them and there are a lot. I’m going to go ahead and say spoilers below just because there are so many quotes and while I don’t think the quotes actually spoil anything, I don’t want to accidentally spoil something for someone.

Some of the quotes might seem a little weird out of context but these are quotes that hit close to home, made me say “Hell, yeah, Addie!!!", quotes that made me laugh, and then basically all of the other quotes that I loved while reading.

I know that I didn't completely fall in love with this book like so many other people did, but it was still so beautifully written and there were so many amazing quotes in this book.

And just a heads up, I read this on my kindle, just in case the page numbers I list don’t match with your copy of the book.

Spoilers Below:

Quotes that Hit Close to Home

“Three and twenty, a third of a life already buried.” Page 39

“The day passes like a sentence. The sun falls like a scythe.” Page 41

“[...] and when she dies it will be as though she never lived.” Page 42

“I am so tired of not having choices, so scared of the years rushing past beneath my feet. I do not want to die as I’ve lived, which is no life at all. I—” Page 46

“[...] she swears sometimes her memory runs forward as well as back, unspooling to show the roads she’ll never get to travel. But that way lies madness, and she has learned not to follow.” Page 61

“His parents meant well, of course, but they always told him things like Cheer up, or It will get better, or worse, It’s not that bad, which is easy to say when you’ve never had a day of rain.” Page 97

“But then a night would go long, and a day would start late, and now he feels like there’s no time at all. Like he is always late for something.” Page 119

““I see someone who cares,” she says slowly. “Perhaps too much. Who feels too much. I see someone lost, and hungry. The kind of person who feels like they’re wasting away in a world full of food, because they can’t decide what they want.”” Page 140

““Life is so brief, and every night in Rennes I’d go to bed, and lie awake, and think, there is another day behind me, and who knows how few ahead.”” Page 167

““I mean feeling like it’s surging by so fast, and you try to reach out and grab it, you try to hold on, but it just keeps rushing away. And every second, there’s a little less time, and a little less air, and sometimes when I’m sitting still, I start to think about it, and when I think about it, I can’t breathe. I have to get up. I have to move.”” Page 177

““Small places make for small lives. And some people are fine with that. They like knowing where to put their feet. But if you only walk in other people’s steps, you cannot make your own way. You cannot leave a mark.”” Page 179

“It was such a lovely jar she had kept them in. But the glass is cracking now. The water leaking through.” Page 215

“Moments of joy register as brief, but ecstatic. Moments of pain stretch long and unbearably loud.” Page 225

“[...] you’ve never felt called to any one thing. There is no violent push in one direction, but a softer nudge a hundred different ways, and now all of them feel out of reach. Page 226

“[...] in wanting to live, to learn, to find yourself, you’ve gotten lost.” Page 226

“He lets it ring, holds his breath until it stops. He tells himself that if they call again, he’ll answer. If they call again, he’ll tell them he is not okay. But the phone doesn’t ring a second time.” Page 229

“He misses the structure, misses the path, misses the purpose. And maybe it wasn’t a perfect fit, but nothing is.” Page 257

“That he’d blinked and somehow years had gone by, and everyone else had carved their trenches, paved their paths, and he was still standing in a field, uncertain where to dig.” Page 283

“And those first two years, he was happy. He had Bea, and Robbie, and all he had to do was learn. Build a foundation. It was the house, the one that he was supposed to build on top of that smooth surface, that was the problem. It was just so … permanent.” 283

“Choosing a class became choosing a discipline, and choosing a discipline became choosing a career, and choosing a career became choosing a life, and how was anyone supposed to do that, when you only had one?” Page 283

““The vexing thing about time,” he says, “is that it’s never enough. Perhaps a decade too short, perhaps a moment. But a life always ends too soon.”” Page 333

“He is all restless energy, and urgent need, and there isn’t enough time, and he knows of course that there will never be. That time always ends a second before you’re ready. That life is the minutes you want minus one.” Page 421

“The world is wide, and he’s seen so little of it with his own eyes. He wants to travel, to take photos, listen to other people’s stories, maybe make some of his own. After all, life seems very long sometimes, but he knows it will go so fast, and he doesn’t want to miss a moment.” Page 438

Quotes that Made Me Laugh

“Henry loves his sister, he does. But Muriel’s always been like strong perfume. Better in small doses. And at a distance.” Page 120

““Sorry, Book,” she mutters, lifting the cat gingerly onto the back of the old chair, where he does his best impression of an inconvenienced bread loaf.” Page 248

““It’s Halloween!” defends Robbie. “It’s the twenty-third,” says Henry, but Robbie treats holidays the way he treats birthdays, stretching them from days into weeks, and sometimes into seasons.” Page 274

Quotes that made me say “Hell, yeah, Addie!!!”

“If she must grow roots, she would rather be left to flourish wild instead of pruned, would rather stand alone, allowed to grow beneath the open sky. Better that than firewood, cut down just to burn in someone else’s hearth.” Page 31

“[...]from this moment forward, her life will be her own.” Page 48

“There is a defiance in being a dreamer.” Page 117

““It has only been two years,” she says. “Think of all the time I have, and all the things I’ll see.”” Page 132

“It will take time, but time is the one thing Addie has plenty of. So she opens her eyes, and starts again.” Page 192

“But then Addie straightens, lifts her chin, smiles with an almost defiant kind of joy. “But isn’t it wonderful,” she says, “to be an idea?”” Page 261

Quotes that I Love

“[...] never pray to the gods that answer after dark.” Page 7

“What is a person, if not the marks they leave behind?” Page 15

“The things that last, even when memories don’t.” Page 16

“As if you couldn’t like one place and want to see another.” Page 23

“Books, she has found, are a way to live a thousand lives—or to find strength in a very long one.” Page 35

“The kind of place where time slips and blurs, where a month, a year, a life can go missing.” Page 39

“[...] attraction can look an awful lot like recognition in the wrong light.” Page 56

“The rise isn’t worth the fall.” Page 56

“Being trapped, buried alive, these are the things that scare you when you cannot die.” Page 57

“Funny, how some people take an age to warm, and others simply walk into every room as if it’s home.” Page 58

“Déjà vu. Déjà su. Déjà vécu. Already seen. Already known. Already lived.” Page 66

“[...]a lifetime of knowing brushed away like a tear.” Page 73

“[...] and it is sad, of course, to forget. But it is a lonely thing, to be forgotten. To remember when no one else does.” Page 77

“[...] ideas are so much wilder than memories, that they long and look for ways of taking root.” Page 77

““These days, everyone’s looking down,” muses Sam. “It’s nice to see someone looking up.”” Page 101

“Being forgotten, she thinks, is a bit like going mad. You begin to wonder what is real, if you are real. After all, how can a thing be real if it cannot be remembered?” Page 103

“If a person cannot leave a mark, do they exist?” Page 103

“Dreamer is too soft a word. It conjures thoughts of silken sleep, of lazy days in fields of tall grass, of charcoal smudges on soft parchment.” Page 11

“She considers the cut of their clothes, the absence of bone stays or bustled skirts, and thinks, not for the first time, and certainly not for the last, how much simpler it would be to be a man, how easily they move through the world, and at such little cost.” Page 129

““I remember you.”” Page 135

“The darkness claimed he’d given her freedom, but really, there is no such thing for a woman, not in a world where they are bound up inside their clothes, and sealed inside their homes, a world where only men are given leave to roam.” Page 163

“She watches these men and wonders anew at how open the world is to them, how easy the thresholds.” Page 165

““I think there are many ways to matter.”” Page 179

“But ideas are so much wilder than memories, so much faster to take root.”” Page 210

“He is full of roots, while she has only branches.” Page 212

“Easy to stay on the path when the road is straight and the steps are numbered.” Page 229

“Outside the window, the day just carries on as if nothing’s changed, but it feels like everything has, because Addie LaRue is immortal, and Henry Strauss is damned.” Page 235

“[...]I didn’t want to live forever. I just wanted to live.”” Page 236

““There’s this family photo,” he says, “not the one in the hall, this other one, from back when I was six or seven. That day was awful. Muriel put gum in David’s book and I had a cold, and my parents were fighting right up until the flash went off. And in the photo, we all look so … happy. I remember seeing that picture and realizing that photographs weren’t real. There’s no context, just the illusion that you’re showing a snapshot of a life, but life isn’t snapshots, it’s fluid. So photos are like fictions. I loved that about them. Everyone thinks photography is truth, but it’s just a very convincing lie.”” Page 239

“God, it feels good to be wanted.” Page 256

“[...] And ideas are wilder than memories. They’re like weeds, always finding their way up.”” Page 261

“Homesick—Henry knows that one is supposed to mean sick for home, not from it, but it still feels right.” Page 262

“Dressing up, he thinks, is just like watching cartoons, something you enjoyed as a kid, before it passes through the no man’s land of teen angst, the ironic age of early twenties. And then somehow, miraculously, it crosses back into the realm of the genuine, the nostalgic. A place reserved for wonder.” Page 274

“Bea always says returning to campus is like coming home. But it doesn’t feel that way to Henry. Then again, he never felt at home at home, only a vague sense of dread, the eggshell-laden walk of someone constantly in danger of disappointing.” 282

“He doesn’t know what he believes, hasn’t for a long time, but it’s hard to entirely discount the presence of a higher power when he recently sold his soul to a lower one.” Page 284

““You can’t make people love you, Hen. If it’s not a choice, it isn’t real.”” Page 290

“He has asked the wrong god for the wrong thing, and now he is enough because he is nothing. He is perfect, because he isn’t there.” Page 290

“A life reduced to a block of stone, a patch of grass.” Page 299

“The present folding on top of the past instead of erasing it, replacing it.” Page 306

“She knows the paint will fade, rinsed off by a puddle, or simply wiped away by time, but that’s how memories are supposed to work. There—and then, little by little, gone.” Page 307

“Without the bells, the organ, the bodies crowding in for services, the church feels abandoned. Less a house of worship and more a tomb.” Page 311

“God is so large, why build walls to hold Him in?” Page 311

“Once you know about a thing, you start to see it everywhere. Someone says the words purple elephant, and all of a sudden, you catch sight of them in shop windows and on T-shirts, stuffed animals and billboards, and you wonder how you never noticed.” Page 314

“There is a freedom, after all, in being forgotten.” 325

“Memories are stiff, but thoughts are freer things. They throw out roots, they spread and tangle, and come untethered from their source. They are clever, and stubborn, and perhaps—perhaps—they are in reach.” Page 327

“They’ve been lucky, so lucky, but the trouble with luck is that it always ends.” 329

““You said it yourself, Luc. Ideas are wilder than memories. And I can be wild. I can be stubborn as the weeds, and you will not root me out. And I think you are glad of it. I think that’s why you’ve come, because you are lonely, too.”” Page 332

“She closes her eyes, reminds herself there are many ways to leave a mark, reminds herself that pictures lie.” Page 337

“She may not feel the years weakening her bones, her body going brittle with age, but the weariness is a physical thing, like rot, inside her soul. There are days when she mourns the prospect of another year, another decade, another century. There are nights when she cannot sleep, moments when she lies awake and dreams of dying. But then she wakes, and sees the pink and orange dawn against the clouds, or hears the lament of a lone fiddle, the music and the melody, and remembers there is such beauty in the world. And she does not want to miss it— any of it.” Page 342

“Luc’s smile darkens. “Because time is cruel to all, and crueler still to artists. Because vision weakens, and voices wither, and talent fades.” He leans close, twists a lock of her hair around one finger. “Because happiness is brief, and history is lasting, and in the end,” he says, “everyone wants to be remembered.”” Page 351

“It is a sign, when even gods and devils dread a fight.” Page 367

“And this, he decides, is what a good-bye should be. Not a period, but an ellipsis, a statement trailing off, until someone is there to pick it up. It is a door left open. It is drifting off to sleep.” Page 419

#the invisible life of addie larue quotes #the invisible life of addie larue #the invisible life of addie larue by ve schwab #ve schwab #quotes #my favorite quotes #addie larue #henry strauss #luc #bookish quotes

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tossawary · 3 years

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Chapter 29: “The Ringing Bells” of “pride is not the word I’m looking for” quotes and commentary. Not a full list of favorite quotes or full commentary.

It’s just been him, Yue Qingyuan, and the not-so-modest Qiong Ding entourage befitting Cang Qiong Mountain Sect’s leader. Shang Qinghua and Yue Qingyuan still haven’t talked about anything personal (Shang Qinghua kind of hopes they never will!), but putting up a united front and then putting up with other sects seems to have brought them closer together again.

If Shang Qinghua had given in to his idea of bringing a flask of emergency wine in his sleeve, they could have made a drinking game or something every time someone managed to “casually” mention that Zhao Hua Temple Sect’s barrier techniques were the best in the world. With that face Yue Qingyuan made after the third, ear-gouging hour of listening to a long line of Zhao Hua experts condescend to them about security measures that will surely stop invading demons in their tracks, Shang Qinghua would have bet the man could have been talked into it. Big Bro would have been down, he’s sure.

AN: There is something immensely amusing to me that Yue Qingyuan and Shang Qinghua of all people run this sect (like, sure, SQQ and WQW and the other peak lords do stuff too, but YQY and SQH seem to be the ones who actually deal with worldly affairs and interact with people). To me, they both have such “I don’t want to be here” energy. YQY would rather be thinking about his slow reconciliation with Shen Qingqiu, and SQH would rather be daydreaming about the sexy ice demon he’s been betraying the sect for for 20 years.

But nooo, they have to be responsible.

Yue Qingyuan nearly dying at the end of SVSSS to me had such... vibes of relief? This man is carrying SO MUCH stress over his position and his responsibilities and appearances, that his reaction to dying seems to be at least a little bit: “Oh, time to put everything down. I can give up. I don’t have to be the invincible sect leader above it all anymore. Thank goodness.” You can fit so much trauma and unhealthy ideation in this man!

Which is, I think, why this connection between SQH and YQY was a little inevitable in this story. They’re both carrying so much stress and trauma, and doing their best to not let anyone see it, so they really relate to each other but... in a way that’s kind of one-sided on both parts? Because SQH isn’t supposed to know shit about YQY’s past or pressures. And YQY doesn’t have the full picture of what SQH is dealing with at all. After their fight after SQQ died and SQH coming forward about their invasion, SQH and YQY are finally getting to have some more direct connection, but neither of them are willing to put their masks down yet. It goes against their natures and their perceived duties (as sect leader and a transmigrator/traitor) to honestly confide in each other.

YQY and SQH both kind of have a “I know better than you” thing going on here. Yue Qingyuan because he’s the sect leader and he’s been taught that he has to manage himself and everyone else. Shang Qinghua because he’s a transmigrator and also... the fallen creator god of this world?

Yue Qingyuan is apparently just as eager to make it home as Shang Qinghua is. Their travel pace puts them a full day ahead of schedule, and Yue Qingyuan courteously sends his youngest personal assistant ahead via flying sword to warn the sect.

“Shen-Shixiong and Wei-Shixiong will need time to hide the mess from all the parties they’ve been throwing in our absence,” Shang Qinghua jokes.

Yue Qingyuan looks at him with polite but concerned bemusement.

“Aha, never mind, I’ll just… go check the last report my head disciples sent me again.”

None of them are expecting the assistant, who flew off with all the energy and eagerness of youth, to return only a little over an hour later. The assistant is red in the face and panting for breath. He collapses in front of Yue Qingyuan.

“Shizun, I-! I turned back as soon as I saw- in the distance-! The sect was on fire! Qiong Ding Peak was on fire!”

Yue Qingyuan and Shang Qinghua exchange a look of shock. When Shang Qinghua joked at the beginning of their journey that the sect would probably set itself on fire without them there to do damage control, he really was only joking! He’s had way too much of the shit he says coming true on him!

AN: I don’t think I’ve mentioned this yet, but Yue Qingyuan’s youngest assistant is the kid that Shen Qingqiu shoved on him from the House of Rejuvenation mess. Qi Qingqi and Liu Qingge picked up Luo Fanli from that, Shen Qingqiu picked up Fu Qiang from that, and Yue Qingyuan got this kid.

He doesn’t have a name yet, but he’ll probably get one at some point. Probably in Part 4 when Shen Yuan and Fu Qiang’s story comes to the forefront.

“Shishu!”

Shang Qinghua turns and gets an armful of nephew. Binghe’s arms wrap around him with no care for the bandage around one of them and Binghe’s warm face is buried into his neck - he’s so tall now - to share his dirt stains.

Shang Qinghua has no idea what to do. He wants to hug his very huggable nephew, of course, but in front of so many people?! He can’t just shove Binghe away either! Luckily, Binghe seems to realize his mistake about two seconds after contact and launches away from Shang Qinghua, bowing deeply enough to hide his face completely.

“Apologies for tripping, Shishu!”

Shang Qinghua nearly laughs. “Ah, ah, it’s fine. It’s fine.”

This is probably one of the worst kept secrets in the sect, anyway.

AN: This is absolutely a reference to Binghe pulling this trick in SVSSS canon, only unlike SY, Shang Qinghua recognizes the excuse.

Luo Binghe clears his throat and intervenes before his friend can accidentally kill Shang Qinghua with kindness or something. “The demon saintess Sha Hualing and her followers attacked.”

“Oh,” Shang Qinghua says, relaxing a little.

“Is that all?” he thinks. “Phew! Earlier than I was expecting, but okay!”

AN: It’s very funny to me to have CQMS going, “Demon attack! Demon attack! Totally unexpected demon attack!” And Shang Qinghua going, “Shit, I think I put that down on my calendar wrong. Did I put that down on my calendar...?”

This apparently prompted Liu Mingyan and Luo Fanli to volunteer at the same time.

“They looked like they were going to argue over it, at first, or even fight over it,” Luo Binghe says. “Qi-Shigu and Liu-Shishu didn’t seem to want to let them fight, but they just ignored them and almost started a quick hand-game over who would get to fight. And then the demoness said… she said… she...”

“What?” Shang Qinghua asks.

Ning Yingying lifts her nose to the sky and declares, “She said: ‘If I get a say in this, I want to fight the pretty one in the veil, and not the old lady!’ So rude!”

“...Ah,” Shang Qinghua says again.

That explains the awkward grimace Binghe is making right now.

“Liu-Shijie and Luo-Shijie froze, then Luo-Shijie just looked at Shizun and Qi-Shigu and Liu-Shishu,” Ning Yingying continues. “ Snap! And then it was really quiet. And then Shizun said, ‘I’ll allow it.’ And Qi-Shigu and Liu-Shishu and even Liu-Shijie didn’t say anything.”

“Of course not! Shizun outranks them,” Ming Fan says.

As though that has ever honestly mattered to Liu Qingge or Qi Qingqi.

“So she got to fight the demoness,” Luo Binghe says, like it was a foregone conclusion that his stubborn auntie would get what she wanted. Who’s surprised about this? Not this long-suffering nephew!

AN: So, Sha Hualing made the “old lady” joke in front of 1) Qi Qingqi, Luo Fanli’s teacher who knows about her student’s past with the House of Rejuvenation, 2) Liu Mingyan, Luo Fanli’s friend who either knows about it or recognizes that LFL is touchy about her age, 3) Liu Qingge, LFL’s brother-in-law who also knows, and 4) Shen Qingqiu, who was THERE and that’s how they met.

So, there’s sort of a collective, “If we don’t let Luo Fanli try to beat the shit out of this demon girl, we will never hear the fucking end of it,” here.

Also, as soon as I made Luo Fanli into Liu Qingge’s apprentice of sorts, there was no way that she was NOT going to want to fight Sha Hualing, and it seemed a good way to shake things up from canon while also doing some stuff with the Fanli & Binghe relationship. I’m really trying to breathe new life into all the scenes that I’m redoing from SVSSS.

“She kicked that demoness’ ass!” Ning Yingying squeals.

“Ning Yingying!” Ming Fan hisses.

Shang Qinghua snorts. “Oh? Really?”

“It was rough,” Luo Binghe says, while Ning Yingying and Ming Fan both turn bright red realizing what she just said in front of a Peak Lord. Binghe, however, has totally heard Shang Qinghua say way worse than that. “The demoness was really good and really mean, and she kept getting up even after she got slammed into the ground, but eventually she got pinned and had to forfeit to keep her head. Fanli is still mostly in one piece. She’s over there right now with Mu-Shishu and Liu-Shishu.”

Shang Qinghua follows his nephew’s finger, then winces. His little sister-in-law looks pretty roughed up, her face is beginning to swell and she’s got a lot of claw marks, but she’s grinning up at Liu Qingge. Liu Qingge looks totally fine, besides some flecks of blood that must belong to other people, and is smiling down at her.

Mu Qingfang looks less than enthusiastic about all this as he treats Luo Fanli’s injuries of victory.

Aha, yeah, Liu Qingge is definitely the one explaining this to Luo Jiahui later.

AN: I really like building and having built up all these relationships. I like giving Binghe friends, even if they’re friends that he kind of runs rings around given his manipulative tendencies (NYY and MF rely on just grabbing him at this point and relying on sheer force of obliviousness/authority). I like giving Liu Qingge more connections in the form of Luo Fanli and Mu Qingfang too.

This cast is... so big at this point. I didn’t really expect this when I started.

Inside the cell is… a bloody demon girl who looks about fifteen-ish (sixteen-ish, maybe?), with dark hair in many braids, a sharp face and a sharper stare, and clothing that looks like it was made out of not nearly enough silk ribbons. Ah, wow, that’s way more skin than Shang Qinghua ever wanted to see of Sha Hualing. No jewelry at all, though, not even a belt. Not even boots or even slippers. Just lots of blood splatter.

Both Sha Hualing’s arms and legs have been restrained. She’s also been muzzled, though that doesn’t stop her from showing off her teeth in the least happy-looking smile anyone has ever smiled. There’s blood in Sha Hualing’s teeth! That’s blood there smeared around her mouth!

Qi Qingqi is in the cell too, utterly unimpressed, making sure that Sha Hualing is properly restrained and even treating an injury on the girl’s thigh. Demons are pretty tough, Sha Hualing would probably be fine, but Shang Qinghua supposes they can at least be a little kind toward the poor disciple who’ll have to mop the floors here later.

“So good of you to finally join us,” Shen Qingqiu says to Shang Qinghua. His voice is dry, as usual, but it might be missing its worst sharp edges? The man seems pleased at having caught himself a demon.

“Ah, I didn’t want to show up the sect leader with my speed,” Shang Qinghua replies.

That gets an amused look from Yue Qingyuan. “Let us speak elsewhere,” he says, politely admonishing everyone to shut up in front of their guest. “Qi-Shimei?”

“A moment,” Qi Qingqi says.

“Oh, don’t leave me all alooone,” Sha Hualing says, only slightly muffled by the muzzle, her eyes going wide and scared. “I’ll behave! This is really too much! These restraints are hurting me. Please… it’s making it hard for me to breathe, please…”

Qi Qingqi ignores her and finishes up her work.

Yue Qingyuan lets the Xian Shu Peak Lord out and then seals the cell behind her. Shang Qinghua is familiar with those seals and yeah, there’s very little chance Sha Hualing is getting out of there on her own. The demoness complains loudly about being left behind in a cold and lonely cell. Shang Qinghua can still hear her wailing as Yue Qingyuan instructs the guards on, mainly, not letting anyone in and not taking any of Sha Hualing’s bait no matter what lies she tells.

If anyone gets “seduced” by that teenage girl - a trick pulled many times by the wily Sha Hualing in Proud Immortal Demon Way - Shang Qinghua is going to be so disappointed. Surprised? Not really! But still… depressingly disappointed!

AN: It was... hm... important to me that none of the characters here actually sexualize Sha Hualing or disregard the fact that she’s very young to them. In his narration, Shang Qinghua mentions her skimpy clothes and the possibility of her seducing a guard, but it’s with the casual detachment of someone who was writing a stallion novel and knows the tropes.

I wanted to focus more on the fact that Sha Hualing is not just a “wife character”, but an extremely dangerous non-human individual and already a minor political player, if currently trying to play outside her league. She’s an enemy. Also, just because she is currently playing outside her league doesn’t mean that she’s not dangerous and shouldn’t be taken seriously.

All she needs is someone to get close and she will inflict life-long injuries.

I also wanted to use her here for some Mobei-Jun stuff, which I’ll talk about later when I get to the Mobei-Jun part.

“Shang-Shidi, do you recognize any of these materials?” Shen Qingqiu asks next, like he’s reading Shang Qinghua’s mind now! He looks so unimpressed by Shang Qinghua’s startle. “You are, after all, one of our experts on tracking down the source of such strange things.”

“Aha, off the top of my head? I couldn’t say! But… I would suspect part of this weapon came from the far north of the Demon Realm...”

Wei Qingwei finally looks up. “I would make the same guess,” he says, like a real bro. “If only this weapon hadn’t broken, we could have tested its limits of disruption! But our plans have been disrupted there… I’d like to see how something like this would go up against the different types of barriers out there.”

“Zhao Hua Temple’s barriers, perhaps?” Shen Qingqiu suggests.

Yue Qingyuan audibly sighs.

“Of course, they won’t wish to see proof that there are demon lords preparing to invade,” Shen Qingqiu says icily. “How remiss of me to forget that fact. What does it matter if a demon lord’s daughter was swinging around a previously unseen weapon like a child’s favorite new toy?”

AN: So, when I say that I want to breathe new life into the canon scenes that I’m redoing and reinterpreting, my goal for this one was to really... build up the upcoming Immortal Alliance Conference and actually connect Sha Hualing’s invasion to... well... anything.

In SVSSS, Sha Hualing’s invasion happening is just following PIDW events apparently, and SVSSS in my opinion isn’t... really too interested in PIDW worldbuilding or Sha Hualing’s character from the standpoint that this really is a real world now. It’s all about Shen Yuan reliving the PIDW plot.

So, if I’ve put 200,000+ words at this point into actually trying to establish that this is a real world, these are real people, there are real long-lasting politics and sect relations, that world elements aren’t just spawning into existence when the plot needs them and exist now, even if I’ve been doing so kind of as a joke because I think it’s funny to make Shang Qinghua deal with that, I wanted to actually try to place and connect Sha Hualing’s invasion to other story elements and place Sha Hualing’s character in relation to the others.

Here, Sha Hualing’s invasion is a spoiled and violent child looking to make herself look good and cause trouble, as it is in SVSSS, but here it’s emphasized that Sha Hualing really is 1) a child, 2) a demon lord’s child, and 3) a future demon lord herself. And Sha Hualing is showing off her family’s inventions in preparation for the Immortal Alliance Conference. This is a move that has consequences for her and for Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, and will continue to have consequences for her (partially indebted to MBJ’s clan) and for Cang Qing Mountain Sect (it makes them look bad in front of the other Great Sects).

“Aha, off the top of my head? I couldn’t say! But… I would suspect part of this weapon came from the far north of the Demon Realm...”

“Zhao Hua Temple’s barriers, perhaps?” Shen Qingqiu suggests.

Yue Qingyuan audibly sighs.

AN: Me to myself: “...Is there canonical evidence that Mobei-Jun can read and write???” Because, like, the impression I get from this guy is that he basically raised himself and barely survived, so the System could interpret that to make an AU in which MBJ never learned to read or write.

Mobei-Jun can read and write in “pride is not the word I’m looking for”, Shang Qinghua is just exaggerating here because he’s a little miffed.

But it’s kind of tempting to write an AU now in which SQH realizes early-on in knowing MBJ that... his king can’t really read or write... his upbringing was so shitty and his father was so careless that MBJ never learned more than a few words that he picked up from context. That’s fucking horrifying. MBJ’s poor socialization and communication levels reach new heights!

“It’s just that something like that happened before, remember, Uncle?” Binghe presses. “With the skinner demon? That same light and that same warm, almost burning feeling! It was different this time - that weapon wasn’t going to hit me, I was blocking it; I know that I was blocking it the right way - but it’s too similar, isn’t it?”

“It’s… very similar,” Shang Qinghua agrees slowly.

“System?! Bro?! This is your fault!” he thinks. “Why the fuck are you leaving these explanations to me?! If you take points off me for any of this, you piece of shit, I’m going to find a way to strangle you, I swear! Preemptively: fuck off!”

Shang Qinghua lets himself visibly think about, trying to figure out what the fuck to say here. Binghe looks up at him like he’s trying to see into Shang Qinghua’s head to watch his thoughts come together. It’s a lot of pressure to put on a man all of a sudden! Binghe is too clever to be easily fooled by weak bullshit! How is a man supposed to come up with a decent lie under these circumstances?

“Well, ah, it’s happened when you’ve come into contact with demons who are trying to kill you, so it seems like it’s… some kind of unique reaction between that demonic energy and your spiritual energy,” Shang Qinghua says finally, because it’s better than explaining that there’s some shitty, no-good god-like being invested in a predestined plot. “Strange things happen sometimes in life-or-death situations, you know. Cultivators can accidentally pull off great feats sometimes when they’re desperate or panicked, without knowing how they did it.”

Binghe doesn’t look very reassured. Which makes sense, because a long-winded way of saying “I don’t know, it sounds like a freak accident to me” isn’t really reassuring.

AN: This, plus Sha Hualing’s invasion, is about Shang Qinghua’s coming up against the consequences of his choices. He can’t really have everything at once! He’s managed to have a lot all at once so far, but the time for Binghe’s demon reveal is coming closer, and Shang Qinghua is going to have to make some tough decisions and live with them. He’s going to have to deal with the people in his life having opinions on his tough decisions.

Shang Qinghua is trying to keep the System happy, with his eyes on the end goal of keeping Binghe out of the Abyss, which makes him unwilling to take certain risks deviating from the plot. But, if you’re looking at it from the perspective of someone who doesn’t know about the System or the plot, Shang Qinghua’s decision-making seems completely illogical.

Binghe is too clever not to at least notice that there’s some bullshit happening here. He doesn’t know what his uncle isn’t telling him, but Shang Qinghua isn’t the greatest bold-faced liar, so he knows there’s something.

At the end of the day, Shang Qinghua leaves his fellow Peak Lords (Shen Qingqiu, Qi Qingqi, Liu Qingge, and Tang Qingling) arguing in circles over cold trails (Yue Qingyuan is stuck refereeing, poor bastard). He returns to his Leisure House and finds a familiar ice demon lounging in his sitting room, eating some of his snacks.

“My king, did you help Sha Hualing escape?!” Shang Qinghua demands.

“She did not contribute,” Mobei-Jun answers.

Mobei-Jun looks good, like breaking in and out of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect last night was no trouble for him. Why would it be any trouble for him? He’s been doing it for years and years without getting caught, after all!

“How did you bypass the cell’s seals so cleanly?” Shang Qinghua wonders, as he puts some papers aside and kicks off his boots.

The cell doors hadn’t been ripped off its hinges, just… taken off like they were never attached… which combined with the ice-related injuries on the guards, plus the fact that the intruder slipped in like a shadow and left the same way, kind of gave the whole thing away.

Mobei-Jun raises his eyebrows. “You have shown me many such protections.”

“Ah… yeah… I guess I did do that.”

AN: Presenting Sha Hualing as I did: a dangerous and political figure even though she’s only a teenager, was also meant to reflect on Shang Qinghua’s relationship with Mobei-Jun. Mobei-Jun is the enemy. Mobei-Jun may be on Shang Qinghua’s side and his own side, but he is not on Cang Qiong Mountain Sect’s side and he has loyalties to people in direct opposition to Cang Qiong Mountain Sect.

Sha Hualing is, in many ways, Mobei-Jun’s people. He’s completely unfazed by her violence. To him, Sha Hualing’s behavior is normal and expected, if the foolishness and arrogance of someone trying to act grown-up. He is not human. He is from a completely different world to Shang Qinghua.

And their separate worlds are now colliding.

Shang Qinghua really can’t have everything he wants here. He’s a traitor and, realistically, he can’t expect that not to come out sooner or later. He’s making decisions for the sect (releasing SHL to prevent another demon invasion (and also to keep the plot on track)) that Yue Qingyuan might have agreed with if he knew the full picture of SQH’s spying (all he knows at the moment is that SQH has informants), but that YQY doesn’t know about and so can’t agree with, so SQH is acting beyond his authority letting MBJ break SHL out.

It’s a mess! It’s not sustainable! Shang Qinghua’s old character role and his new character role can’t continue to coexist like this.

Thinking of worrying unnecessarily, desperate to change the subject away from the looming plot, Shang Qinghua brings up the very important subject of Mobei-Jun possibly, maybe, if he has the time, letting him know when to expect him, when he’s going somewhere, and when he’ll be back. He’s brought this up before, though mostly in a “my king, this humble servant would really appreciate it if you at least learned to knock, but if that’s too much to ask, it’s fine, it’s really fine, never mind, forget I brought it up” kind of way.

He only realizes just how daring it sounds after he says it! He’s always kind of figured that the proud Mobei-Jun would take offense to the concept of being at Shang Qinghua’s beck and call in any way. Why would Mobei-Jun need to explain himself?

“Why?” Mobei-Jun even says.

“...Why?” Shang Qinghua repeats, kind of hoping that he wouldn't have to explain the things he asks for. Mobei-Jun said he could ask for things, but he has to explain himself too? That's really too much. “I didn’t get to see you at all while I was gone! I got back and I didn’t know when I’d get to see you again, my king.”

This gets him another random pinch to the cheek, but it also gets him another surprising kiss. Mobei-Jun is apparently not even a little bit offended by this request. So it’s fine! This one thing, at least, is really fine.

AN: But Mobei-Jun is also becoming one of SQH’s rocks in many ways! This relationship is new and exciting and comforting! Giving up or betraying Mobei-Jun is completely out of the question for Shang Qinghua.

I’m kind of fucking loving these secret forbidden romance vibes.

If Shang Qinghua asked, Mobei-Jun would whisk him away from everything right now, but he understands that Shang Qinghua needs to be here for his nephew, his sister-in-laws, and his students. With his father as king, Mobei-Jun doesn’t have the position or authority yet to make any kind of peace with CQMS. MBJ’s relationship with SQH could get him in deep shit with his father, with his uncle, and with other demon lords.

Shang Qinghua is a filthy traitor and he’s dragging MBJ down with him.

#tossawary commentary #tossawary svsss #pride is not the word

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fire-lady-ilah · 3 years

Text

Sideburn Squad + June Headcanons

(Under the break, because there’s a lot.)

All

Lu Ten have been friends since they were children. Lu Ten was 5 and Zhao was 7 when they first met and became friends at the Royal Fire Nation Academy for Boys.

Zhao became friends with Cadet Jee when he joined the military at 18. At that point, Jee was 3 years his senior at 21, though he had joined only the year before. They met in firebending training, where Zhao had already been moved up in level by the second day under Admiral Jeong Jeong’s appraising eye.

Zhao is a much better firebender, but Jee absolutely demolished him at pai sho. And poker. And mahjong. And any game, really.

Lu Ten remains in the palace until he turns 18 but at 17 he meets a young bounty hunter of the same age at a bar he snuck out to. He arm wrestles her (loses) and challenges her to a drinking contest (loses again) before deciding to acquire a second best friend.

At 18, Lu Ten is assigned to the same training camp as Zhao (which is very nice for the two young lovers) and, well, if a bounty hunter is found in the neighbouring town’s inn more often than not, who’ll complain?

Lu Ten becomes fast friends with Jee (who is now 23 and very much feeling Too Old For This Shit) after a few games of pai sho. Jee and June enjoy having company while Zhao and Lu Ten are doing their disgusting couple thing.

Lu Ten

Lu Ten loves to paint and paints portraits of each of his friends for their birthday, along with whatever other obnoxiously expensive gift he gives them.

Zhao’s depicts him in some, er, rather passionate situations. (Their friends see one with him doing firebending training in the middle of a kick. The other one is given in private and leaves him a blushing, stuttering mess). He also receives a book of poetry written in the Water Tribes, something that’s definitely banned in the Fire Nation.

Jee’s depicts him deep in thought, sat at a pai sho board with a cup of coffee steaming in his left hand. He receives a bag of very high quality coffee (wait, wasn’t this type only grown in Air Nomad temples at very high altitudes?).

June’s depicts her with a slight smirk on her lips as she let a man think for a moment that he was winning their arm wrestle. She receives Earth Kingdom perfume of the highest quality (and if her arms shake as she takes it, remembering faint memories of a noblewoman holding her to her chest, Lu Ten doesn’t mention it). She makes a remark about Nyla hating perfume but she doesn’t reject it.

Lu Ten is also fiercely loyal and protective of his friends. He’s the first to rise and physically put himself between them and the threat, fire curling around his fingers as he restrains himself from clenching them. He never throws the first punch (his father taught him better than that), but he isn’t above using his sharp tongue to make them throw it (Azula may have been encouraged by her father, but she looked up to her older cousin as much as Zuko did).

He also acts as an older brother figure to June specifically, despite being the same age as her. No one is good enough for his bounty hunter adoptive little sister, except maybe... maybe someone he trusts.

Zhao

Zhao is a poet and it surprises everyone and no one. Strangers, should they somehow find out, cannot imagine it. His friends can’t imagine him not constantly pouring over books of poetry, scrawling his own in the corner of tactical notes, and quoting it endlessly in conversation and impassioned speeches. Thus, they’re also unsurprised to find out that he has a set of poems (some from the greats, some from smaller poets, even some of his own) dedicated to each of them. Not only their surface personalities (Lu Ten, brave and loyal. Jee, tired and always watching. June, cunning and sharp.) but who they are underneath (Lu Ten, crying at his first kill. And his second. And his third. Jee, losing all composure the moment someone smelling of sake grabs June’s wrist, a hand leaving a pink— mild but threatening— burn on their throat. June, curled tightly up to Nyla after a rough day, hair always gelled in front of the side of her face).

He isn’t protective, not in the way his friends are. In the face of danger head on he shrinks back. But he is vindictive and more than friendly with the concept of revenge. He sees the way an up and coming lieutenant eyes his Lu Ten greedily and braves his feat of ladypedes to fill the lieutenant’s bedroll with them on their next expedition. A commander yells at Jee and lunges fast enough to make him flinch and oh no, did his house really burn down overnight with all his gold stolen? He didn’t know he lived so close to base. Every man that brushes up against June a little too long finds his coin purse mysteriously missing by the end of the night.

Jee

Jee is quiet and has the patience of a saint, most days. But even he can only stand babysitting royalty in silence so long. So what if he’s the one that sneaks alcohol onto base and drags his friends into the storerooms, drinking the two younger men under the table? They need their egos a little beaten and Jee needs a drink.

As the oldest, and also the only member from complete peasantry, Jee has to teach his friends a lot of basic skills.

How Lu Ten didn’t even know how to make his bed in the barracks properly, Jee didn’t know, but he taught him anyway. He didn’t laugh at him, he just guided his hands into making the crisp fourth-five degree angles the inspector wanted.

He taught Zhao how to throw a proper punch (no, not like that. Sure, the form is perfect for firebending and for martial arts, but if you want to really win a brawl you have to do it like this). The boy was a little too obsessed with honour for his liking. He understood the status that being born “honourless” gave him, but he was from the lowest of the low. They didn’t care for honour, they cared about survival.

June is most similar to him, but he sees the nobility in her facial structure and the way she doesn’t hesitate to spend most of her money on drinks. She may work for it, but she’s never known the ache of an empty stomach. Still, he teaches her how to barter (no, not threaten, barter) and how to find the best cut of meat for Nyla. The shirshu takes a shine to him almost immediately.

He may be the Dad Friend (he rejects the title verbally and yet wears it with pride), but he isn’t the first to jump in their defence at the slightest insult. He only reacts when he sees something truly dangerous, even if he knows his friends can handle themselves. And if he’s quicker to lash out on drunks that touch one of his friends, they don’t comment.

June

June proudly proclaims herself the primary holder of the group brain cell. She spends the least time with the rest of them, but she’s also uncannily perceptive. She sees the way the already tipsy teenager held himself with a straight spine and clothes made of a little too fine of fabric. She sees the way he leans in at the slightest hint of friendship and she can’t help herself from doing the same. She recognizes the way Zhao’s eyes glint whenever someone insinuates that he’s inferior, even if he bows his head as a subordinate. She watches from the top of a building she shouldn’t be on as he chases Jeong Jeong like an eager child, desperate for approval and love. She makes eye contact with Jee, the only one that sees her watching, and something like an agreement passes between them.

She takes her bounties all while she hangs around the training camp. It’s longer than she’s stayed in one place since she was just a child and her life was a lot more stable. She takes her first life when someone confuses bounty hunter with assassin and tries to pay her a near boatload for her Prince’s life (she takes their gold too. She isn’t above robbing a corpse).

She’s protective too, though she would never admit it. She mocks Lu Ten with a smirk on her lips at his temper, but she slips into the shadows to drag the very man that threatened their group into the alleyway, a poisoned dagger to his throat. Someone may threaten her family, but they only get that chance once, she makes sure it never happens again.

Even after Lu Ten dies and her group fractures, she keeps tabs on them. She finds a stowaway on Prince Zuko’s ship and she finds a friend again in a bar soon after. They have a drinking contest and an arm wrestle but it isn’t the same, just the two of them. And in the end, it’s just June.

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minerstatus · 3 years

Text

Teyvat’s School for the Gifted

Summary: He's cruel, mean, and sadistic. Lumine cannot fathom why he has the followers he does, but she won't fall into his hands like the rest of them. It was unknown to her at that time how such a stance would cause the biggest uproar the schools ever seen.

This is the silly drama filled high school/college parody AU nobody asked for filled with Lumine not giving a shit and Childe trying to buy his way out of problems.

Ship: Lumine/Childe

Tags: Highschool AU, Enemies to lovers, Slow burn, Jealousy, lots of side ships.

Status: 5/? on Ao3

Chapter 1

The school located on an island inside the neutral zones between nations is a blessing for anyone without a swimming pool filled with mora. Without money you have to be gifted a vision to attend. That is why Lumine thought she would never be accepted to such a place. Instead cursed to live her life on a small farm on the outskirts of Mondstadt, killing small monsters for money to aid her ailing mother.

She had become quite the prodigy around the area. Her sword work was nothing to be trifled with. Some would even gush about what it would be like if she did have a vision. Then it happened, a strange string of life changing events.

She enjoyed spending her free time sitting under the statue of the seven in windrise. It gave her a reprieve from her day-to-day life of school, killing, then sleep. She polished her blade most days she sat there, enjoying the sounds of the wilderness around her.

As she sheathed her blade, wistfully thinking about what it would be like to magically summon and desummon it as a vision user, a light began to shine behind her. There was a flash, she thought maybe a vision might appear in front of her. But this was no test or life changing event. It didn’t make sense.

Wind surrounded her body, lifting her skit in the breeze. She turned, it followed with her. She lifted her hand as a power surged through her. A burst of wind jetted from her palm and sliced across the water. It trimmed the tops off the over grown grasses lining the ponds edge. The wind died down and left her for elsewhere as the light slowly faded out of existence.

Befuddled, she stared at the palms of her hands. She felt a power emanating from her core. With a trembling arm she raised her palm again, calling forth on the energy. It darted from her as before. Shocked, she tried it again and again, smiling gleefully with each blast of wind. She twirled around, searching for her vision, but came up empty.

That is how the first visionless anemo user was born. At first people didn’t believe her. Delusions were not unknown to the common folk of Teyvat. They were a staple favorite of the mafia families across the regions. But she quickly smashed those theories to pieces. Not only was she a poor farm girl fighting to survive, but where on earth would she have the money to afford such a thing. She allowed an inspection of her things and a pat down to prove it.

After the authorities decided that she did not have a vision she was free to do as she wished. That was until the head master of Teyvat’s school for the gifted showed up on her doorstep. The scholarship she was offered would give more money to her mother per month than she could in six months of hunting. She took it without question.

That’s how she ended up here, gawking at the building in front of her. The school defied the rumors. Statues carved from marble, fountains that defied gravity, even the wood it was built from looked impossibly expensive. Heck, the wildlife looked like they ate from golden platters.

The only thing that held her from running right back to the boat was a woman pinning her down with a chemically assisted cheerful gaze. A shiver ran up her spine as she waved her over. She obliged only because her eyes looked a hair away from snapping into crazy land.

“Welcome to Teyvat’s finest Lumine!” She cheered and began to clap.

“Thanks,” She mumbled, intimidated by her nature. She looked like a robot. Sleek black hair, not a strand out of place. Perfectly pressed blazer and pencil skirt in matching shades. Her glasses glistening in the sunlight, even if they were just plain black frames. She hoped not everyone in this school looked or felt this way.

“Follow me and I'll take you to your dorm. Then it’s a trip around campus!” She quipped then turned on her heel. Even her footsteps were a perfect tempo.

They walked through the faculty building, which thankfully looked normal inside. The site quelled her turning stomach. It was into the garden next that, as expected, looked immaculate. They even had a massive sand garden. Back in Mondstadt something like that would be destroyed in seconds.

Eventually they came upon another wooden building with a large ‘girls’ over it. The woman stopped and spun so fast on her heel Lumine almost let out small scream.

“This is the girl's dorm; your roommates are waiting for you inside with your things. I'll be back in thirty minutes for the rest of the tour,” she said, smile never once faltering as she left Lumine to her own devices.

Her roommates were nice, they greeted her in the common room just as her guide stated. Amber was a bit too enthusiastic for just about anything. Barbara was a very cheerful girl but was more reserved. It was a breath of fresh air to see two friendly faces. They led her to their dorm to get settled.

“So, what do you think?” Amber asked as Lumine began to unpack her luggage. Placing her uniforms carefully into her small closet along with her own casual clothing. Her own things almost felt dirty comparted to the schools uniform she was provided. And the room was much bigger than what she expected from a dormitory.

“It's overwhelming,” She admitted.

“You'll get used to it,” Amber laughed.

“Are you?” Lumine began to ask.

“Scholarship,” Amber answered, holding up her vision, “They keep the poor kids together so we don’t infect the rich kids.” She laughed.

“Hey!” Barbara yelled at her. Lips pointing into a pout.

“Except for Barbara, she requested to room with me. She's the exception.” Amber smiled at her friend.

“So, it's exactly how I thought it would be,” Lumine grumbled. This school was probably dripping with rich kids causing trouble for the normal folk, like she expected.

“Some of the students are alright, indifferent you might say. But there are,” Amber held up her hands as air quotes, “those types.”

“Will you guys be in my classes?” She asked.

“Nope, third years!”

Lumine felt her insides twist. Great, now she would be alone on her first day. At least her dorm would be nice. Amber was warm and friendly and Barbara seemed sweet even if she wasn’t talking as much. The pair would only be a year below her so they were still close in age. Hopefully she wouldn’t be moved to another dorm with the ‘adults’ if she attends the next four years after this one.

“You don’t want to be in our year anyways,” Barbara laughed.

“Whys that?” Lumine felt a small smile form for the first time since she set foot on the island. Barbara wiggled her eyebrows and gleamed over at Amber. She turned red in response and threw a pillow at her.

“Stop! Its not my fault!” She shouted.

“It’s gross the way he drools over his desk for you,” Barbara added.

“Mind filling me in?” Lumine asked.

“No!” Amber shouted.

“She has this wolf boy that follows her around and causes trouble. Its adorable,” Barbara said anyways.

“I didn’t ask for it he just did it!” Amber defended herself.

“It's like a comedy slash horror show every day,” Barbara giggled.

“Stop teasing me,” Amber whined.

“Wolf boy?” Lumine asked. Mondstadt had a steady population of people descendant of shape shifters or animals, but she had never seen a wolf before. Most of them were cats. Granted, she did keep to herself and didn’t really mix with the town folk, even at school.

“Half werewolf, half human, grew up in the wild before coming here earlier in the year,” Amber explained.

“He can smell everything, it's awful,” Barbara moaned, “one time I tried to bring some leftovers from lunch and he almost ripped apart my bag looking for it.”

“Sounds like a nice boyfriend,” Lumine said, hiding her smile as she sorted items into her desk drawers. Amber gasped from behind her. She swallowed a laugh.

“H-he's not my boyfriend!” She yelled. Lumine busted and began to giggled along with Barbara. She was interested in seeing the exchanges between the two now.

“Very funny guys, I'll make sure to make fun of your pain in suffering next time I get the chance.” Amber crossed her arms.

“Alright I'll stop,” Barbara waved her hand at her. A sharp knock on the door quickly soured the cheerful mood. The door swung open and Lumine’s guide walked in.

“Fantastic, I'm so glad you are getting along with your new housemates. We must complete the tour now.” The woman said, still as cheerful as ever. Lumine noticed Barbara and Ambers shoulders fell on her entrance. “I'll be waiting out front,” she chirped and left.

“God, Mrs.Lee always gives me the creeps,” Amber said.

“Glad it's not just me,” Lumine laughed as she stood.

“Good luck! See you at dinner,” Amber waved as Lumine exited the room. She heard faint whispers of gossip as she left but knew it was nothing bad, those girls didn’t have a mean bone in them.

They walked around campus and Lumine slowly became accustomed to the wildly expensive taste. She was shown the inside of the year one through four buildings, for the fourteen-to-eighteen-year old's. Then the outside of the adult facilities. Mrs. Lee assured the only real difference between the two was the uniform requirement and some extra freedoms.

After taking the tour she felt less overwhelmed, but it was the final stop that really cemented the reality most of the students lived in. It was the cafeteria of the school, but should have been classified as a food court. There was the line for the scholarship students where they could use one of three free meal tickets per day, or a snack coupon, all loaded onto her school ID. Wich was normal, same thing that she had in Mondstadt, minus the dinner.

What was different was the restaurants lining the walls. Everything you could imagine from each region on tap. And the prices were nothing to scoff at. A Fishermans toast was going for ten thousand mora, she could make that for less than three hundred back home. Lines scaled out to the isles as students waited, eager to be robbed for food.

“Lumine!” A familiar voice shouted. She sighed in relief. A distraction to this insanity was required right about now. She carried her tray adorned with less appetizing food from the school over to the table Amber sat at.

“This place is crazy,” Lumine sighed in exhaustion.

“My first day I ran away,” Amber laughed. She placed a spoon full of mac and cheese into her mouth.

“Those prices are more than I make in three weeks back home,” She said as she began to eat. Pleasantly surprised that even the free food was delectable. The pasta was perfectly cooked, cheese sauce an ideal creamy texture. She moved on to nibble at her cookie, baked expertly with a crispy outside and a gooey center. “God,” she murmured, savoring the taste.

“I told you, you get used to it,” Amber smiled sweetly. A book bag slamming down on the table instantly cleared her face. She looked up to see what she assumed was the wolf boy from earlier discussions. Lumine wondered why Amber felt it was bad to have his attention. He was attractive, silver hair and red eyes, giving him an exotic look. His arms were coated in scars and a massive one gashed his face, not a bad look if your into that type. Some of the girls back home would swoon over the attention.

“Why,” She groaned as he pulled out a seat, pushing it right up against hers as he sat a plate of meat and potatoes down. It must have been one of the free creature meals from the school line. He sat, making sure he was as close as physically possible to her.

Okay, maybe that’s why. Lumine began to understand.

He tilted his head like a new puppy, “Why?” He asked, voice thick with an unknown accent.

“We talked about this,” She shoved his chair away. “This is Razor,” She sighed as he sunk into his chair to pout. Lumine nodded and greeted him with a smile.

“I bought brownies!” Barbara sang as she skipped over to the table, “For our new friend,” She handed out the sweets, “And beef jerky for you,” She said as she handed Razor a slim piece of dried meat. He perked up and took it, chewing on it greedily. After the experience with the cookie Lumine thought the food couldn’t get better. But the brownie was smooth decadent layers of velvet chocolate that melted in her mouth. She had to suppress a groan.

There was a pickup of chatter in the room that pulled her from her chocolate induced fantasy. She looked towards the entrance of the café where a group of boys walked in. They were followed by a gaggle of other students, mostly female, all adorned with an expensive accessory or more.

Lumine was an honest person and she did not deny to herself that these boys looked like royalty. They walked with an air of confidence even through the crowd, knowing that the sea of students would part for them. She counted each of their visions, anemo, geo, cryo and hydro. There was a distinct leader to the group out of the four. A redhead who wore his vision on his belt, showing it off by messily tucking in half of his unkept shirt. Like he wanted people to see it, unlike the rest of them that wore them on chains by their side, as did everyone else in the school.

“Don't stare,” Amber hissed. Lumine snapped her eyes to her friends.

“Who are they?” She asked. Amber eyed her wearily before divulging the information.

“Sons of the school's elite,” She glanced back at the group to ensure they were distracted with food or girls before continuing, “The shorter one with green hair is Xiao, the son of the wangshu inn owner. The geo looking guy is Zhongli from the Wangsheng funeral parlor. Blue hair is Kaeya, one of the sons from the dawn winery.” Amber stopped speaking as she got to the last subject. Lumine quirked a brow as both Barbara and Amber swiveled their heads to check on the group again.

“It's not really them you should be weary of though; besides Xiao they are nice. Xiao has always had a stick up his butt,” Barbara added to the conversation.

“Then what is it, why are we acting like we are defusing a bomb?” Lumine asked.

“It's Childe, the redhead,” Amber whispered.

“Childe? That’s a dumb name,” Lumine thought out loud. The girls hissed at her to keep her voice down.

“He smells mean,” Razor added. Amber pulled on his ear.

“I told you not to talk about him,” She growled at him. He grasped her hand in his, forcing her to release.

“But you are!” he argued.

“Thats because we are warning her!” Amber explained. Razors eyes darted from Ambers to Lumines and he resigned himself back to his half-eaten steak.

Amber rolled her eyes and turned back to Lumine, “It’s not his real name, no one even knows his real name.”

“Childe is an awful nickname,” She whispered back to her friend.

“He’s mean, and evil, once he has you in his sights there's no stopping it.” Amber warned her.

“What about his friends? Don’t they say something?” She asked.

“They are rich, us poor folk don’t matter to them even if they act cordial towards us,” Amber told her as she leaned back, “Besides you don’t have a vision, he will probably just ignore you.”

Lumine widened her eyes, “well...” She felt a tint come to her cheeks, “Actually...”

Amber slammed her fists on the table, “NO WAY! YOUR THAT GIRL!” she screamed. Drawing the attention of half the students.

“Show us!” Barbara insisted.

“Ah, I don’t think now is the best time.” Lumine tried to quell her friend's voices but both girls were oblivious to the attention they were attracting. She glanced over at the red head she was warned about to make sure he was still entranced at whatever activity he had chosen.

“Awh comon I wanna see!” Amber whined.

“First anemo user in history without a vision! Don’t hold out on us!” Barbara added.

“Fine! Just stop yelling at me,” Lumine finally conceded. She put her palm face up on the table and gathered a small amount of wind to it. It tinted green with her power as it swirled into a miniature tornado in her palm.

“This is so cool!” Amber gasped.

“It's the same as anyone else,” Lumine said, closing her hand to cease the wind. She was more than a bit tired of people going ballistic over her powers.

“Let's get back to the dorms,” Amber suggested, “We have much to talk about,” She smiled gleefully. Razor whimpered next to her, “fine you can come too,” She sighed. Razor looked up with a beaming smile.

“Boys are allowed in the girls dorms?” Lumine asked as they gathered their trays and bags.

“Only until eight with a strict open-door policy,” Barbara told her.

She hummed in response as the group made their way over to the trash bins. Eyes were on her now, some searching for a vision trinket she didn’t possess. She was the last one out the door when a chill tingled down her spin. She grabbed the back of her neck and turned, expecting a cryo user to be standing there with a smirk on their face.

Instead, she was greeted with sea blue eyes cutting through the crowd. He smirked when they made eye contact. The chill went down her entire body. She glared as the door to the building swung shut, cutting them off.

Shit.

#chilumi #childe #lumine #genshin impact #genshin impact fanfiction

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scotianostra · 3 years

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On May 11th 1685 Margaret Lachlane, or McLachlan, and Margaret Wilson were put to death.

The sins of our past are sair tae bare at times and this is certainly one that qualifies as such, what makes it all the more sad is that they had been reprieved, but the distance from Edinburgh to Wigtown but for reasons unknown it never made it to save the women.

Here’s the background, some of you might know but not all, back in 17th century religion was very important to most people in Scotland, indeed the worldover. The reformation waa over and Protestants were in the vast majority, especially in the more populace lowlands. By now The Stuart Monarchy ruled both Scotland and England, having survived a civil war in which Charles I lost his head, eventually his son, Charle II was invited back to take the throne. You would have thought that Charles II had learned his lesson, his old boy had tried to enforce the English form of the Protestant religion in Scotland but failed, young Charles tried again but the Scots were not having it, many Scots signed what is known as The National Covenant that pledged to defend “their” true religion against innovations like those down south. Many were put to death for refusing to swear allegiance to the King and “his” prayer book. Over the years there were many battles and lives lost, it is now known in Scotland as “The Killing Time"

ny way the people thought it might come to an end in February 1658 when Charles II died, those who had been hiding from persecution started returning to their homes, including the young Wilson girls who were sheltered at the home of Margaret McLachlan, a 63 year old widow who lived at Drumjargan in Kirkinner Parish. A local man betrayed them when they came into Wigtown, and the two girls were taken prisoner. At the same time, Margaret McLachlan was seized while at prayer in her own home, and held in custody with them. The women were required to take the Oath of Abjuration which had earlier been administered to everyone in the County over the age of 13 years. This had been introduced on 25 November 1684 by the Privy Council, in order to catch sympathisers of Richard Cameron. In a public declaration at Sanquhar Cross, Cameron had denounced the King as a tyrant and declared war on him.

Refusal to swear the Oath allowed execution without trial; men could be hanged or shot; a new sentence had been introduced for women: death by drowning. The women refused the Oath and were brought before the Commission. The Commissioners, Grierson of Lagg, Sheriff David Graham (Claverhouse’s brother), Major Windram, Captain Strachan and Provost Coltrane of Wigtown, have been described as “five of the most vicious scoundrels in Scotland”.

Margaret McLachlan with Margaret and Agnes Wilson were found guilty on all charges and they were sentenced “to be tyed to palisadoes and fixed in the sand, within the flood mark, at the mouth of the Blednoch stream, and there to stand till the flood over flowed them, and [they] drowned”. Agnes Wilson (aged only thirteen at the time) was reprieved, when her father promised to pay a bond of £100, a fortune in that day.

A pardon was issued in Edinburgh, dated 30 April 1685, for both women It remains a mystery what happened to it, since no record of it remains beyond the Council Chamber. They were taken out and tied to stakes in the waters of the Bladnoch on 11 May 1685. The older woman was tied deeper in the river channel forcing young Margaret to witness her death, in the hope that she would relent. Instead, she seemed to take strength from the older woman’s fate, singing a psalm, and quoting scripture.

The events are recorded in the Kirk Session records of both Penninghame and Kirkinner parishes, vouched for by elders and ministers who were present on the day, and the records confirmed by the Presbytery of Wigtown. The Penninghame records say that Margaret Wilson’s head was held up from the water, in order to ask her if she would pray for the King. She answered that she wished the salvation of all men, but the damnation of none. When her watching relatives cried out that this proved she was willing to conform, Major Windram offered her the Oath of Abjuration again, but she refused, saying “I am one of Christ’s children; let me go”.

The Kirkinner records state that Margaret McLachan’s head had been “held down within the water by one of the town officers by his halberd at her throat, til she died”. A popular account adds that the officer said “then tak’ another drink o’t my hearty”. Legend has it that for the rest of his life the man had an unquenchable thirst, and had to stop and drink from every ditch, stream, or tap he passed, and he was deserted by his friends.

Likewise the constable named Bell, who had carried out his duties with a notable lack of feeling, allegedly said, when asked how the women had behaved, “O, they just clepped roun the stobs, like partans and prayed”. Clepped means web-footed, partans are crabs. Bell’s wife bore three children all with “clepped” fingers, and the family was referred to as “the Cleppie Bells” which was believed to be the sins of the father being visited on the children.

It was not only women who died, William Johnstone, John Milroy and George Walker were hanged in Wigtown the same year, for refusal to take the oath, but Margaret Wilson, due to her young age has become the most famous of the martyrs and is the subject of a famous painting by the English artist John Everett Millais called The Martyr of Solway.

Art conservators have x-rayed the painting and found out that Millais had originally painted the upper torso of the young woman naked. However when the painting was exhibited in 1871 there were strong puritanical views on nudity in paintings and Millais’ work offended Victorian sensibilities. It was badly received and was the butt of many negatively critical reviews. Hence it was painted over to save the Victorian eyes of such a sight!

The photo is from Stirling Old Town Cemetery a monument to the Wigtown Martyrs, further afield a Victorian statue of Margaret Wilson’s martyrdom is on display at Knox College, University of Toronto, Canada, as seen in the second pic, the third pic is the Martyrs' Grave, Wigtown parish church, Dumfries and Galloway

#Scotland #scottish #martyrs #religious martyrs #the killing time #religious history #history

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magnusmysteries · 3 years

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Part 21: Star-Crossed Lovers

The Magnus Archives was a horror podcast. It is now completed. Many of the show’s mysteries were never explained on the show. I intend to explain them. Spoilers for the show, but also spoilers if you wanna solve these mysteries yourself.

In the previous post I said the tree at Hill Top Road was of the Spiral. And that one of the reasons I think that is that it was destroyed by two people marked by the Spiral. What other reasons are there?

Second reason: It bleeds, like the doorknob in a sturdy lock. If you see a tree bleed, you’d fear for your sanity.

Third reason: I think trees in general are a symbol of the Spiral. In The Coming Storm Michael Crew is tormented by a Spiral creature. He opens it’s gate to find a forest full of impossible trees. But symbolically what does trees have to do with the Spiral?

I think the Spiral not only covers the fear of insanity, but also the fear of getting lost. That’s why the Spiral often deals with mazes. And that’s why trees, you can get lost in the woods. Michael Crew did not enter the gate, but if he had I think he would have gotten lost. This explains why the Spiral is the opposite of the Desolation (see part 3). Because trees burn. This is why the Spiral is next to the Buried (see part 3). Because you can get lost in a cave.

This might explain why the Spiral likes fractals. Trees look like a fractal with their branches. And a maze has branching paths like a fractal.

Gertrude’s protective circle is in a forest. It has bottles full of boiling water and photographs of Gertrude and twigs and pine needles. When the Cult is trying to burn Gertrude, the force gets directed to the bottles because of the photographs. And then the forest and the twigs neutralizes the power because they are of the Spiral and opposes the Desolation.

In Burning Desire Agnes feels a sudden pain. It happens just about the same time as the Hill Top Road tree is pulled down. Why is Agnes affected by the tree’s destruction?

In Recluse the statement giver mentions the tree. He says it has leaves, and that he likes to sit under it and read. So it is a normal tree, not yet dead and spooky like in Burned Out. In the same episode is the box from the table. It has not yet ended up beneath the tree. So who changed the tree? Who placed the box beneath it?

I think Agnes did both things. But how can Agnes turn a tree into a Spiral tree if Agnes is of the Desolation? Because Agnes is an avatar of both the Spiral and the Desolation.

The Cult of the Lightless Flame has a hard time raising Agnes and so decides to send her to the orphanage to be raised by Raymond Fielding of the Web. Now, does that make any sense? Letting a different Power, one that specializes in mind control no less, raise their messiah? No. Creating Agnes was the Web’s plan from the beginning.

In Burning Desire Jack sees three men from the Cult of the Lightless Flame. One John identifies as Diego, and suspects another could be Arthur Noland. One has a bag full of candles, so it is probably Eugene Vanderstock, as he made candles. By process of elimination, the third man is probably Arthur. This man holds a container full of spiders. According to Jane Prentiss, there are also spiders in the apartment building where Arthur later is the landlord. The Web is manipulating Arthur and he doesn't realize it. Arthur is the one that proposes a plan to make a Messiah for the Desolation. But it is actually the Web’s plan.

When the Lightless Flame Cult holds the ritual that births Agnes, they have it in a forest. Agnes’ mother lies on wood and wears a crown of wood. The cultists don’t realize it, but they are incorporating Spiral symbols in their ritual.

Agnes’ mother is of the Desolation. I think the father is someone from the Spiral. I think there is a meta hint about it: The mother’s name is Eileen Montague. Montague is the last name of Romeo from Romeo and Juliet. A story of two people from enemy families falling in love. Like Eileen having a relationship with someone from the enemy power. The Spiral being the opposite of the Desolation.

When Diego brings a book about child care, Arthur burns it. He thinks he does it because Diego is attacking his leadership. Actually the Web makes him do it. To sabotage their attempts at raising Agnes, so that they’ll bring Agnes to the orphanage.

Why was Agnes created? In This Old House we learn that the Web would lure servants of various fears to Hill Top Road to fight each other to widen the crack in reality. A sculptor of puppets (of the Web? Or the Stranger?) gets killed by a hunter. An Eye avatar gets killed by a Buried avatar. But why make Agnes an avatar of two Fears? I think the web wanted all the Fears to have fought at Hill Top Road. By creating Agnes, the Web is killing two birds with one stone, getting a Desolation fight and a Spiral fight at the same time.

If Agnes made the tree, does it mean the tree is also a Spiral and Desolation tree? Yes. The tree has scorch marks on it. But if Ivo and Father Burroughs needed to be marked by the Spiral to destroy the tree, would they not also have to be marked by the Desolation? Yes, and they were marked by the Desolation. Just before they destroyed the tree, they were attacked by the Desolation and felt like they were burning. The Web brought the Desolation entity to Hill Top Road to mark them.

In this Old House Annabelle says the crack in reality became a gap when Agnes kills Raymond. I think she’s a little wrong. The fight between Agnes and Raymond did turn the crack into a gap, but I think that happened before Raymond died. Agnes binds Raymond to Hill Top Road by putting the box from his table under the tree. She transforms the tree so it can not be easily destroyed. I believe binding Raymond is what widens the crack. And this allows for time travel.

Quote from Ivo from Burned out “And then I would smell it again, that whiff of burnt hair, or catch a glimpse of brown pigtails disappearing around a corner.”

Ivo is not hallucinating, nor seeing a ghost. That’s Agnes traveling to the future. The pigtails suggest this happened while Agnes was young. Which suggests the time traveling became possible before Raymond died.

In I Guess You Had To Be There a woman sees the ghost of a burning woman. I think that’s Agnes again, time traveling.

I think it’s impossible to travel in time to before the crack gets widened. At least I can’t think of anything that suggests time traveling happening before Agnes goes to Hill Top Road.

Raymond shows up in the future and meets Ivo. Raymond’s not a ghost, he’s a time traveler. He’s wearing old fashioned clothes, natch. (I think every time we see something related to ghosts or life after death it is connected either with the End, or the two fears next to the End, the Slaughter and the Lonely. I don’t think the Web or the Desolation makes ghosts.) I’m not sure why Raymond traveled forward in time. Was it on purpose to try to escape Agnes and the tree? Did Agnes send him?

Raymond goes and stares out of the window into the garden. I think he’s looking at the tree, the tree that is trapping him. Raymond vanished and the floor where he stood was scorched.

In the past Raymond vanished, and Agnes lived alone for some years. Then the orphanage burns and Raymond is found dead, missing his right hand. Many years later Agnes is hanged. A severed right hand is attached to her waist with a chain. Tissue decay suggests the hand owner died about the same time as Agnes.

I think when Raymond vanished for years, that’s because he went to the future and met Ivo. Right before Agnes dies, she travels back in time to when Raymond met Ivo. Agnes chains Raymond to herself and drags him back in time. Hence the scorched floor. Agnes takes Raymond back to the orphanage, cuts off his hand, burns him and the orphanage. Then she travels forwards in time and is hanged, hand still attached.

Why is she attached to the hand when she is hanged? I think some magic reason. Maybe by having part of him attached, when she commits suicide, Raymond is symbolically committing suicide. Maybe this lessens the Web’s power? Hands are often a symbol for the Spiral.

Eugene says Arthur told him Agnes had kept the hand when she burned Raymond. So maybe Arthur spoke with future Agnes? Since Agnes stopped aging as an adult, Arthur would not have realized she was older.

Agnes goes on some dates with Jack Barnabas. When the tree is uprooted, Agnes tells the cult that Barnabas has made her doubt role as a Messiah. She says her doubt will make the ritual fail. And so she will hang herself, so that she will not use up the Desolation power on a failed ritual. That way the cult can attempt another ritual relatively soon, but not too soon. This is a bunch of lies.

Agnes never wanted to complete a ritual. (Maybe when she was very little.) She was just pretending for the cult. She never had any real interest in Barnabas, the dates with him were just an excuse to fool the cult, and more importantly fool the web.

Agnes fakes her death, sort of. By going back in time she could create two Agneses. One of them hanged herself, the other lived.

This paragraph has super big spoilers for the movie The Prestige, so I’m gonna encrypt it in ROT13 : Oneanonf naq Ntarf tb ba n qngr naq jngpu gur Cerfgvtr. Va gur Cerfgvtr n punenpgre vf uhat, lrg fbeg bs fheivirf, orpnhfr vg’f npghnyyl gjvaf cergraqvat gb or bar crefba. Whfg yvxr Ntarf trgf uhat, lrg fheivirf orpnhfr fur vf gjb crbcyr ivn gvzr geniry.

Why did Agnes have to fake her own death? I’m not sure about this but I think the Web considered her dangerous and wanted her killed. But if Agnes died, the aspect of the Web that was trapped under the tree would also have died. So the Web couldn’t kill her until they had removed the tree. Once the tree is gone, Agnes is no longer protected and she fakes her death.

This is similar to how the Web bound Gertrude and Agnes together. This made the cult afraid to hurt Gertrude. Agnes told the cult that it was her binding to Gertrude that prevented her from doing the ritual. But this is more lies, she didn’t want to do it anyway. I think the Web bound them together to protect Gertrude. The Web wanted Gertrude alive, possibly so Gertrude could stop the other ritual than the Eye’s. Or possibly because the Web thought Gertrude could be the one to complete the Eye’s ritual.

Is Agnes evil? I think she is very good, though very ruthless. When she was very young she did burn people. But if an adult gives a machine gun to a baby and the baby shoots someone, who is to blame?

In Burned Out Annie tells Ivo about Agnes, implying Agnes killed pets and a boy named Henry. But Annie serves the Web, and I think she is lying. Annie wants Ivo to repeat this story to the Archives to trick the Archivists into thinking Agnes is evil. Annie asks Ivo to not let anyone know what she’d been talking about. This is because Annie doesn’t want Ivo to find out the stories are lies. But Annie knows Ivo can’t help tell the story when making a statement.

In Recluse Agnes saves a boy from Raymond, and she probably saves the other children. This is before she is bound to Gertrude, so she was already good before that.

Eugene made candles of people, so Agnes could inhale their suffering. But Eugene is not sure if Agnes uses those candles, or that’s just what Arthur tells him. And in Twice as Bright Jude Perry says she had a newfound love for scented candles. It was Jude who inhaled their suffering.

Agnes kisses Barnabas and burns him badly. But I think this was to prevent the other cult members from killing him, because he’s already suffering. Agnes asks Jude not to interfere with Barnabas. Agnes cries a tear when kissing him, she is sad she has to hurt him.

Gertrude demands that the cult not hurt Barnabas. Why does Gertrude care about him? She doesn’t. It’s Agnes that has told Gertrude to protect Barnabas, because Agnes feels guilty about hurting him. Agnes and Gertrude are working together. More on that in a later post.

In Infectious Doubts Gertrude allows Arthur to ask her a question. Why would she give information to an enemy? The only reason would be if she wanted to lie to him. I’m not sure how much Gertrude tells him is true, but I think at least one thing is a lie. Gertrude says her protective circle has symbols of the Desolation. Actually it has symbols of the Spiral. Similar symbols were used when Agnes was born. Gertrude is lying to Arthur, because she does not want him to realize that Agnes is part Spiral.

How can Agnes be good, if she is an avatar? I think because she never made a choice to become an avatar, she was one from birth. Because she never chose it, I think the Desolation and the Spiral can’t influence her mind.

#the magnus archives #tma #magnuspod #agnes montague #raymond fielding

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fascinatingbonanza · 3 years

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Bonanza chronology

(so far, which is the first 5 seasons)

As someone quite interested in history, I always enjoy stories set in the past and I always like to know when exactly in the past they are set. So recently I found myself trying way to much to figure out when does "Bonanza" actually take place. And It seems to be a far more difficult problem than I initially thought. But here's what I've got so far, after watching 5 seasons.

But then, as I was watching the series episode after episode, I quickly realised, that this 'canonical chronology' is bullshit and that time in "Bonanza" works in mysterious and extremely convoluted ways.

Generally the series takes place roughly somewhere in the 1860s. The first half of the decade to be a bit more precise, somewhere right before and during the American Civil War (something that is occasionally brought up in the episodes). That's literally what wikipedia says. However, as I dived a little into the fanpages and whatnot, I discovered that there seems to be a some sort of a more specific, canonical, chronology that basicly says that the pilot ("A Rose for Lotta") is set in 1859, then the first season is 1860, the second - 1861, the third - 1862 and so on.

(To be honest, that's quite cool actually, because it would mean that the series takes place exactly 100 years before it's premiere)

To realize that the canonical chronology just doesn't apply to the actual show, you only have to watch the first two seasons, where some episodes have literally a written year at the beginning.

We have it in season's one "San Francisco":

And that's ok, I mean, yeah, the first season (supposedly set in 1860) is coming to an end and now we are getting into the next year. It makes sense.

It still makes sense in the second season where we have "The Courtship", again with a date at the beginning:

Don't know why would they say it again, but all right, it's still 1861, no problem here.

And then, just two episodes later, comes "Bank Run" with this audacity:

What on earth happened here??? They just totally skipped 1862 and now we're a year later, with no explanation or a reason. And that's the moment when you realize that there is no such thing as 'linear chronology' in "Bonanza".

Especially when you also take into account all those stories involving real historical figures which were quite often in the first season. Sometimes the show just doesn't really care about historical facts and for example Lotta Crabtree (from "A Rose for Lotta") in 1859 would be only 12 years old. "The Julia Bulette story" is a bit closer to history altrough Bulette's death was changed a lot as in reality she died in 1867. Mark Twain, who appeard in "Enter Mark Twain", in reality visited Virginia City in 1863, so again, why is this a part of the first season which takes place in 1860?

Then you also have episodes which literally bring up real historical events, but they do it in such a clumsy way, that it's just painful. The one episode that strikes me the most with it is propably "A House Divided" which obviously quotes Lincoln's famous speech. Ben Cartwright even reads this speech in a brand new newspaper, but guess what, it's a speech from 1858, which is before the Comstock Lode was even discovered, so how can this whole episode be set around supplying the south with silver?! (But since it is about supplying the south with silver, I assume it must be around 1861, right at the start of the war)

After the first season "Bonanza" slowed down a bit with those 'history lessons', so in the second one there isn't really anything that could suggest any particular date (apart from "The Courtship" and "Bank Run" that I mentioned earlier). And maybe events from the second season do actually happen in 1861, as the canonical chronology would like it to.

But then comes my beloved third season, and boi oh boi, does it make an even greater mess. In "The Frenchman" the title character (apparently a reincarnation of Francois Villion) reads his last poem and starts with:

So we go back in time now? How nice. October 17th 1860, they couldn't be more explicit with it.

Towards the end of the season, we also get a little throw back to Bonanza's history lessons with "Look to the Stars" which tells a story of young Albert Michelson, future physicist and a Nobel Prize winner, who happend to live in Virginia City somewhere in the 1860s. The episode specifically focuses on his efforts to become a student at the Annapolis Naval Academy, which he started in 1869, so we can assume that this episode takes place around 1868-69. That's again a long jump in time.

The fourth season gives us even more specific dates and events to go over. First of all, right at the beginning, we have "The First Born", personally one of my very favourites, but that's not important here. The important thing is that Clay tells Joe that he was fighting in a war in Mexico:

But you know, that war in Mexico was kinda spread over time (from 1861 to 1867) so just mentioning it isn't quite enough to give us a more narrow period of time. Fortunately, Clay later tells just enough detail to do it:

So it's not all over yet, it's just that moment when the royalists won and the French took over Mexico for a while. From my very general knowlege about this I can guess that it's somewhere after 1863 then. Not much though. I like to think it's 1863 or 1864.

But all right, that may be to much guessing. Let's focus on those more obvious hints.

"The War Comes to Washoe" is one of those episodes that mention the Civil War and this time it tells a story of Nevada becoming a state. There's that voting and all, and basically it means that it's 1864, because that is when Nevade became a state (or maby 1863, because from thet voting to actually becoming a state it could've been a longer process). Just like that.

But the one episode that surprised me the most with the fact that it gives us a specific date is "The Last Haircut". And you can miss it, but right at the beginning we see an interesting banner:

So it's February 2nd, 1868... Well, that was easy. But again, a huge jump in time.

The fifth season greets us with another completely nonsensical historical figure appearance in "A Passion for Justice". From what I know, Charles Dickens never went west during his visits to America, but whatever. They wanted Charles Dickens in Virginia City so they put Charles Dickens in Virginia City. For the record, he was in America in 1842 and in 1868, so I guess we can pretend it's his 1868 visit. But still, it's just absurd.

But this season is mostly known for it's Laura and Will subplots, and you know what? We can actually precisely tell when it takes place. At the beggining of "The Waiting Game" we see Laura's husband's grave:

And look! February 20th, 1861! So that's when it all started. Later Adam says that it's been four months since Frank died, so we have June 1861. Then in "The Pressure Game" they celebrate the 4th of July, and in "Triangle" it is said that it had been a year since Adam gave Peggy her pony so now it must be around June 1862. And since at this point it all conects to Will's subplot, then "Return to Honor", "The Roper" and "The Companeros" must've happen somewhere inbetween.

Meanwhile there's also "The Prime of Life" about building the transcontinental railroad, and since we know that it reached Reno in 1868, then I guess the episode must be set somewhere right before that.

And to top it all off, in the season's finale, "Walter and the Outlaws", we get that one useless piece of information that Obie had last seen his sister in 1843, and it's been 16 years since then. So by easy maths we can say that the episode is set in 1859, just like the show's pilot.

And that's all for the first five seasons. What we get form it, is that "Bonanza" diefinietly doesn't have any chronology and that this canonical one is just right out of the blue.

To sum it up I can say that this show is just made out of random Catwright's adventures from several years and in no chronological order whatsoever. It's funny when you start to think about it and for example realise that when the Laura/Will story takes place, many of the adventures from previous seasons hasn't even happen yet.

Of course there's also four prequels that tell the stories about Ben's wives, but I think I'll leave it for some other time, because while talking about it, I would also have to talk about the ages of each Cartwright and generally it's a whole different complicated subject.

Also, if now there are episodes happening as late as 1867 and 1868, then when exactly did Adam leave the Ponderosa? Well that's something I'll have to think about while watching the 6th season. I hope there will be some answers to that.

[English isn't my first language so please excuse any mistakes. And I know there must be some.]

#bonanza #rambling on the show and episodes #60s tv #60s tv shows

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spiritualdirections · 3 years

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The revelations to St. Faustina weren’t ‘private revelation’--Pope Benedict XVI

When he was the head of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Pope Benedict XVI was asked by St. John Paul II to provide a theological reflection on the Third Secret of Fatima. (There’s a problem with the way the Vatican website is displaying quotation marks, so I am posting it here.) Then-Cardinal Ratzinger’s key move was to describe what visionaries receive, not as private revelation, but as contemporary “prophecy.” The same point is to be applied to all such visions and apparitions, including those prayer experiences that St. Faustina writes about in her Diaries.

THEOLOGICAL COMMENTARY

A careful reading of the text of the so-called third “secret” of Fatima, published here in its entirety long after the fact and by decision of the Holy Father, will probably prove disappointing or surprising after all the speculation it has stirred. No great mystery is revealed; nor is the future unveiled. We see the Church of the martyrs of the century which has just passed represented in a scene described in a language which is symbolic and not easy to decipher. Is this what the Mother of the Lord wished to communicate to Christianity and to humanity at a time of great difficulty and distress? Is it of any help to us at the beginning of the new millennium? Or are these only projections of the inner world of children, brought up in a climate of profound piety but shaken at the same time by the tempests which threatened their own time? How should we understand the vision? What are we to make of it?

Public Revelation and private revelations--their theological status

Before attempting an interpretation, the main lines of which can be found in the statement read by Cardinal Sodano on 13 May of this year at the end of the Mass celebrated by the Holy Father in Fatima, there is a need for some basic clarification of the way in which, according to Church teaching, phenomena such as Fatima are to be understood within the life of faith. The teaching of the Church distinguishes between “public Revelation” and “private revelations”. The two realities differ not only in degree but also in essence. The term “public Revelation” refers to the revealing action of God directed to humanity as a whole and which finds its literary expression in the two parts of the Bible: the Old and New Testaments. It is called “Revelation” because in it God gradually made himself known to men, to the point of becoming man himself, in order to draw to himself the whole world and unite it with himself through his Incarnate Son, Jesus Christ. It is not a matter therefore of intellectual communication, but of a life-giving process in which God comes to meet man. At the same time this process naturally produces data pertaining to the mind and to the understanding of the mystery of God. It is a process which involves man in his entirety and therefore reason as well, but not reason alone. Because God is one, history, which he shares with humanity, is also one. It is valid for all time, and it has reached its fulfilment in the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. In Christ, God has said everything, that is, he has revealed himself completely, and therefore Revelation came to an end with the fulfilment of the mystery of Christ as enunciated in the New Testament. To explain the finality and completeness of Revelation, the Catechism of the Catholic Church quotes a text of Saint John of the Cross: “In giving us his Son, his only Word (for he possesses no other), he spoke everything to us at once in this sole Word--and he has no more to say... because what he spoke before to the prophets in parts, he has now spoken all at once by giving us the All Who is His Son. Any person questioning God or desiring some vision or revelation would be guilty not only of foolish behaviour but also of offending him, by not fixing his eyes entirely upon Christ and by living with the desire for some other novelty” (No. 65; Saint John of the Cross,The Ascent of Mount Carmel, II, 22).

Because the single Revelation of God addressed to all peoples comes to completion with Christ and the witness borne to him in the books of the New Testament, the Church is tied to this unique event of sacred history and to the word of the Bible, which guarantees and interprets it. But this does not mean that the Church can now look only to the past and that she is condemned to sterile repetition. The Catechism of the Catholic Church says in this regard: “...even if Revelation is already complete, it has not been made fully explicit; it remains for Christian faith gradually to grasp its full significance over the course of the centuries” (No. 66). The way in which the Church is bound to both the uniqueness of the event and progress in understanding it is very well illustrated in the farewell discourse of the Lord when, taking leave of his disciples, he says: “I have yet many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth; for he will not speak on his own authority... He will glorify me, for he will take what is mine and declare it to you” (Jn 16:12-14). On the one hand, the Spirit acts as a guide who discloses a knowledge previously unreachable because the premise was missing--this is the boundless breadth and depth of Christian faith. On the other hand, to be guided by the Spirit is also “to draw from” the riches of Jesus Christ himself, the inexhaustible depths of which appear in the way the Spirit leads. In this regard, the Catechism cites profound words of Pope Gregory the Great: “The sacred Scriptures grow with the one who reads them” (No. 94; Gregory the Great,Homilia in Ezechielem I, 7, 8). The Second Vatican Council notes three essential ways in which the Spirit guides in the Church, and therefore three ways in which “the word grows”: through the meditation and study of the faithful, through the deep understanding which comes from spiritual experience, and through the preaching of “those who, in the succession of the episcopate, have received the sure charism of truth” (Dei Verbum, 8).

In this context, it now becomes possible to understand rightly the concept of “private revelation”, which refers to all the visions and revelations which have taken place since the completion of the New Testament. This is the category to which we must assign the message of Fatima. In this respect, let us listen once again to the Catechism of the Catholic Church: “Throughout the ages, there have been so-called ‘private' revelations, some of which have been recognized by the authority of the Church... It is not their role to complete Christ's definitive Revelation, but to help live more fully by it in a certain period of history” (No. 67). This clarifies two things:

1. The authority of private revelations is essentially different from that of the definitive public Revelation. The latter demands faith; in it in fact God himself speaks to us through human words and the mediation of the living community of the Church. Faith in God and in his word is different from any other human faith, trust or opinion. The certainty that it is God who is speaking gives me the assurance that I am in touch with truth itself. It gives me a certitude which is beyond verification by any human way of knowing. It is the certitude upon which I build my life and to which I entrust myself in dying.

2. Private revelation is a help to this faith, and shows its credibility precisely by leading me back to the definitive public Revelation. In this regard, Cardinal Prospero Lambertini, the future Pope Benedict XIV, says in his classic treatise, which later became normative for beatifications and canonizations: “An assent of Catholic faith is not due to revelations approved in this way; it is not even possible. These revelations seek rather an assent of human faith in keeping with the requirements of prudence, which puts them before us as probable and credible to piety”. The Flemish theologian E. Dhanis, an eminent scholar in this field, states succinctly that ecclesiastical approval of a private revelation has three elements: the message contains nothing contrary to faith or morals; it is lawful to make it public; and the faithful are authorized to accept it with prudence (E. Dhanis,Sguardo su Fatima e bilancio di una discussione, in La CiviltÃ Cattolica 104 [1953], II, 392-406, in particular 397). Such a message can be a genuine help in understanding the Gospel and living it better at a particular moment in time; therefore it should not be disregarded. It is a help which is offered, but which one is not obliged to use.

The criterion for the truth and value of a private revelation is therefore its orientation to Christ himself. When it leads us away from him, when it becomes independent of him or even presents itself as another and better plan of salvation, more important than the Gospel, then it certainly does not come from the Holy Spirit, who guides us more deeply into the Gospel and not away from it. This does not mean that a private revelation will not offer new emphases or give rise to new devotional forms, or deepen and spread older forms. But in all of this there must be a nurturing of faith, hope and love, which are the unchanging path to salvation for everyone. We might add that private revelations often spring from popular piety and leave their stamp on it, giving it a new impulse and opening the way for new forms of it. Nor does this exclude that they will have an effect even on the liturgy, as we see for instance in the feasts of Corpus Christi and of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. From one point of view, the relationship between Revelation and private revelations appears in the relationship between the liturgy and popular piety: the liturgy is the criterion, it is the living form of the Church as a whole, fed directly by the Gospel. Popular piety is a sign that the faith is spreading its roots into the heart of a people in such a way that it reaches into daily life. Popular religiosity is the first and fundamental mode of “inculturation” of the faith. While it must always take its lead and direction from the liturgy, it in turn enriches the faith by involving the heart.

We have thus moved from the somewhat negative clarifications, initially needed, to a positive definition of private revelations. How can they be classified correctly in relation to Scripture? To which theological category do they belong? The oldest letter of Saint Paul which has been preserved, perhaps the oldest of the New Testament texts, the First Letter to the Thessalonians, seems to me to point the way. The Apostle says: “Do not quench the Spirit, do not despise prophesying, but test everything, holding fast to what is good” (5:19-21). In every age the Church has received the charism of prophecy, which must be scrutinized but not scorned. On this point, it should be kept in mind that prophecy in the biblical sense does not mean to predict the future but to explain the will of God for the present, and therefore show the right path to take for the future. A person who foretells what is going to happen responds to the curiosity of the mind, which wants to draw back the veil on the future. The prophet speaks to the blindness of will and of reason, and declares the will of God as an indication and demand for the present time. In this case, prediction of the future is of secondary importance. What is essential is the actualization of the definitive Revelation, which concerns me at the deepest level. The prophetic word is a warning or a consolation, or both together. In this sense there is a link between the charism of prophecy and the category of “the signs of the times”, which Vatican II brought to light anew: “You know how to interpret the appearance of earth and sky; why then do you not know how to interpret the present time?” (Lk 12:56). In this saying of Jesus, the “signs of the times” must be understood as the path he was taking, indeed it must be understood as Jesus himself. To interpret the signs of the times in the light of faith means to recognize the presence of Christ in every age. In the private revelations approved by the Church--and therefore also in Fatima--this is the point: they help us to understand the signs of the times and to respond to them rightly in faith.

The anthropological structure of private revelations

In these reflections we have sought so far to identify the theological status of private revelations. Before undertaking an interpretation of the message of Fatima, we must still attempt briefly to offer some clarification of their anthropological (psychological) character. In this field, theological anthropology distinguishes three forms of perception or “vision”: vision with the senses, and hence exterior bodily perception, interior perception, and spiritual vision (visio sensibilis - imaginativa - intellectualis). It is clear that in the visions of Lourdes, Fatima and other places it is not a question of normal exterior perception of the senses: the images and forms which are seen are not located spatially, as is the case for example with a tree or a house. This is perfectly obvious, for instance, as regards the vision of hell (described in the first part of the Fatima “secret”) or even the vision described in the third part of the “secret”. But the same can be very easily shown with regard to other visions, especially since not everybody present saw them, but only the “visionaries”. It is also clear that it is not a matter of a “vision” in the mind, without images, as occurs at the higher levels of mysticism. Therefore we are dealing with the middle category, interior perception. For the visionary, this perception certainly has the force of a presence, equivalent for that person to an external manifestation to the senses.

Interior vision does not mean fantasy, which would be no more than an expression of the subjective imagination. It means rather that the soul is touched by something real, even if beyond the senses. It is rendered capable of seeing that which is beyond the senses, that which cannot be seen--seeing by means of the “interior senses”. It involves true “objects”, which touch the soul, even if these “objects” do not belong to our habitual sensory world. This is why there is a need for an interior vigilance of the heart, which is usually precluded by the intense pressure of external reality and of the images and thoughts which fill the soul. The person is led beyond pure exteriority and is touched by deeper dimensions of reality, which become visible to him. Perhaps this explains why children tend to be the ones to receive these apparitions: their souls are as yet little disturbed, their interior powers of perception are still not impaired. “On the lips of children and of babes you have found praise”, replies Jesus with a phrase of Psalm 8 (v. 3) to the criticism of the High Priests and elders, who had judged the children's cries of “hosanna” inappropriate (cf. Mt 21:16).

“Interior vision” is not fantasy but, as we have said, a true and valid means of verification. But it also has its limitations. Even in exterior vision the subjective element is always present. We do not see the pure object, but it comes to us through the filter of our senses, which carry out a work of translation. This is still more evident in the case of interior vision, especially when it involves realities which in themselves transcend our horizon. The subject, the visionary, is still more powerfully involved. He sees insofar as he is able, in the modes of representation and consciousness available to him. In the case of interior vision, the process of translation is even more extensive than in exterior vision, for the subject shares in an essential way in the formation of the image of what appears. He can arrive at the image only within the bounds of his capacities and possibilities. Such visions therefore are never simple “photographs” of the other world, but are influenced by the potentialities and limitations of the perceiving subject.

This can be demonstrated in all the great visions of the saints; and naturally it is also true of the visions of the children at Fatima. The images described by them are by no means a simple expression of their fantasy, but the result of a real perception of a higher and interior origin. But neither should they be thought of as if for a moment the veil of the other world were drawn back, with heaven appearing in its pure essence, as one day we hope to see it in our definitive union with God. Rather the images are, in a manner of speaking, a synthesis of the impulse coming from on high and the capacity to receive this impulse in the visionaries, that is, the children. For this reason, the figurative language of the visions is symbolic. In this regard, Cardinal Sodano stated: “[they] do not describe photographically the details of future events, but synthesize and compress against a single background facts which extend through time in an unspecified succession and duration”. This compression of time and place in a single image is typical of such visions, which for the most part can be deciphered only in retrospect. Not every element of the vision has to have a specific historical sense. It is the vision as a whole that matters, and the details must be understood on the basis of the images taken in their entirety. The central element of the image is revealed where it coincides with what is the focal point of Christian “prophecy” itself: the centre is found where the vision becomes a summons and a guide to the will of God…

Joseph Card. Ratzinger Prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith

#Ratzinger #prophecy #mercy what every catholic needs to know #divine mercy #st. faustina #fatima #guadalupe

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tothestarsandbackmoved · 3 years

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Rant about interstellar

i have before but ill do it again!

interstellar touches me for many many reasons.

first off, the entire premise and setting and the world building in it. the dust storms, the failing crops. the protagonist does say at one point- "humanity was born on earth. they were never meant to stay here" and that just,,, hits me you know? presently we've seen the emergence of no human exploration besides the probes and the ISS. there are plans but the same curiosity just seems dead. interstellar stretches that and shows us what would happen when human curiosity and the desire to explore would die. we'd kill everyone on the planet and soon starve ourselves. the blights- the illnesses- the dead medicare- that's a very bleak future, but a very real one. the movie does both its part about scaring the viewer about it- as well as giving us hope about wormholes and quantum data and singularities and how we'd save ourselves. you can see that the old generation is talking about their days and how better or worse it would be. in the end, on the cooper satellites, you see the interviews being played- and it really breaks me. that was a generation that thought it was the end. the end of human life. the final descent and that was it. and then they see the five dimensions and getting lifted and their lives are essentially turned around. this isn't just the older people though. we see that the gen z then, like cooper's son have also mostly been brought up to *live*. we see that he tries to get into school and actually get into uni and find a job in one of the remaining sectors of the world which still offer something other than farm corn- raise family. You see that the teachers also say this? they teach them to fight blights and sustain crops because they’re losing more and more to disease each year. Humanity’s slowly being packed up and demolished and they aren’t seeing it coming. at all.

then there’s the quote which is recurring throughout the movie:

“do not go gentle into the good night”

the professor says this all the time. as they’re leaving- his last few dying words- as they’re preparing. and you know what? i’ll say it. this is where the next important theme comes in. Desperation. When he initially sends them out- he hasn’t solved gravity yet, and he knows he never will. Not without the quantum data from a black hole- something again, he can never get. Which is why he implies that there’s a Plan B and cooper can see murphy again (this is also very important- scroll down for this). He breaks all their trust- and he knows he’ll die before seeing the end of the mission- and you can’t die with guilt, not really. He knows that he can’t be held accountable because he’s dead. He’s well aware that his plan is a hail mary- and it wouldn’t have worked anyways. He’s counting on Plan B, and that’s all there is to it. He uses the quote as a reminder to himself- because he’s torn too. He isn’t inherently evil, at all. He’s the precarious thread the entire mission dangles by- but he’s willing to risk that too. He’ll be long, long dead before humanity dies- or moves- and this is his last try.

Now for the second part of this quote. As I talked about before- the quote feels more like a reminder to himself- and not actually something that inspires hope in the crewmates. But ironically, it ends up becoming what guides murph. As the professor is dying, she tells him “you’ve been doing this with both your arms tied behind your back”- that’s actually when she finds out about his whole plan. This is the failure of the professor- but at the same time, it becomes the moment he passes the torch to murph. The professor died, knowingly sending his own daughter into the reaches of space. He prioritized his need to save humanity over the love for his own daughter. But, murph isn’t like that. When she finds out about this, she remembers the promise her dad made to her.

“I’ll be back when you’re the age I am now”

and now, she knows he’s lied. But he hasn’t done it on purpose. and she understands that. She makes it HER goal that they don’t go gentle into the good night. She knows that this is probably futile, but she’s going to try. and she’s not going to try thinking that she’ll probably fail- like the professor did (in resignation for plan B)- she’s going to try to bring cooper back.

Third, coming back to desperation. A bold, bold act of desperation is what dr mann did. (I have some qualms about the actor playing estranged astronauts- anyways). Him sending out that sensor- knowing that it will bring humans back to him, while simultaneously jeopardizing the entire mission, and possibly the fate of humanity. He knows what he has done- but he has gone insane alone- and he’d betray his entire cause to see a human face again. This movie really says something about what humans are willing to do. On one hand, you have a woman who singlehandedly saves them all- for human love, and on the other, a man who is willing to commit genocide (that’s what i think it is, dont ask) to see someone else. He messes up everything, deliberately, and goes from “the greatest and bravest man to walk the earth” to a “cold and desperate villain”. This theme has a lot to do with what is happening right now too. Forgive the activism, but we do have people who knowingly exploit and burn and ravage the earth, for their own good- and they’re insane to the point that they genuinely can’t see right from wrong. Sure, you could argue that he was motivated by the need to preserve your own life. But if you give his cause *any* context, you see how wrong he is. This is flailing human desperation, pure and simple.

Now, approaching the themes that actually make it as good as it is. Dr Brand is easily my favourite character in the movie. We get to see her as a brilliant scientist initially, and her arc- is perfect, honestly. For example, take the wormhole handshake- as their going through interdimensional space- where time isn’t linear and your brain gets fried if you try to comprehend it- she recognizes a *being* in that space. If you recall that scene, she reaches out, and meets *them*- someone she knows is otherworldly and entirely above humans (we later learn it is Cooper in the matrix- and i have things to say about that too) and makes contact. She suggests, as both a human- and a scientist- that it may be love that transcends dimensions. She makes first contact with beings that may be their salvation- or destruction- and i think that is definitely the peak of human existence.

She argues that love may be what connected the crew to higher dimensions, and I'll dare to say that she’s right. Love is what made Cooper try to contact murph. Love is what made them dare to save humans. Love was what got her there. She tells them to go to Edmund's planet- not just because she loves him, but because she also makes relevant points AND her gut. It might be stretching it to say that was why she was right- but it is worth introspection. Dr Brand represents the best of humanity and she does carry it, doesn’t she? She settles on the planet for ‘the long nap’ in the end. She tries to save everyone- like on the mountain planet- and she loves. She hopes and she trusts and is unwaveringly honest and courageous. This could become a Dr Brand stan blog for all I care.

Moving on

We have the ‘them’. These are the mysterious threads that tie all parts of the movie together. A black hole to a little girl’s bookshelf. Worlds galaxies apart. A very important thing to note here is that the characters recognize that this is humanity, just very, very far out. And most importantly, wise. This is a civilization who has surpassed the ordinary dimensions, and *mortal* time. They could’ve easily saved all of humanity and given them the planet they were looking for. But their entire ineffable plan, and only putting things where they were needed- was what made them greater than just someone who helps others. Only being able to get binary signals through an intergalactic wormhole, building bookshelves that become a huge metaphor for humanity trying to claw at knowledge- and actually slowly pushing the books forward. The ‘them’ weren’t ordinary humans at all. They definitely hinted and gave me a brief, fickle glance beyond what humans could be- raw possibilities.

Then, we have cooper. This makes it hard to write for him- and do his character justice- but I will try. His character, essentially, is brought down to selflessness, love, a brutal, brutal sense of humour- and the courage- the heavy, heavy courage to sacrifice himself. He’s also the polar opposite of what Dr mann stands for.

His first important point- in my opinion- is when the movie is starting. I didn’t walk in expecting this from him, not really. You see a dying earth- and this man is (alone in his fight, NASA doesn’t count yet) fighting the system alone. He fights for his son, tries for his father in law, and then the most important relationship- his daughter. He’s seeing an earth where not even *children* are curious, or willing, or interested in anything greater. He sees this in his daughter, though. Hence, the bookshelf- the gravity, and the plain curiosity.

I’ll dare to say that at this point, humanity’s a dying, dying flame. And what he sees in his daughter, what we see in his daughter, is a rebirth of potential. She has the human spark, so to speak. He sees that, and he makes promises, and is willing to bring the world to its knees to protect her. And he knows he might not be there when Murph burns strong, and bright, and becomes the saviour of humanity- but he hopes. An important element is the promise, which I mentioned earlier, but it defines their relationship. The promise that he’ll be back when they’re the same age. They both know that it’s not true. They can see the lie, but that promise also empowers them to do what they did when their paths diverge.

Cooper goes to Mann's planet with the vague hope that he’ll be back in time. Murph does most of what she does because she thinks that it’ll bring her father back. Even towards the end, when Cooper willingly jumps into gargantua, a supermassive black hole- which is the literal heart of darkness, he does it in the attempt to save his daughter, and hopes she can get the quantum data at the cost of his life.

About Murph, we mostly see her through the eyes of Cooper in the beginning. A curious and lovable and stubborn tween who just wants to grow up with her dad and do their science experiments. Her perseverance is phenomenal- she loses her dad despite her warnings and asking- and realizes that her loss is something undefinable, but there. In a way, she grows to understand both her responsibility and her part to play, and why her father did what he did. The ‘ghost’ is another plot device- a mysterious figure who messes with the gravity and knocks her books down. And she sees a message there. She tells him about ‘don’t go’ and i can’t begin to describe how beautifully poetic and heartbreaking it is that they realize the significance of that at the same time, and how it ties together. It is hard for me to fathom that scene really- cooper is in an interdimensional matrix, inside a supermassive black hole, and he tries to tell his daughter two things. (a) trying to stop himself from going out and on the mission, which he knows is deemed to fail and (b) sending the quantum data, because that is what mattered in the end, anyways. The ghost comes full circle- and also says what he had to say, when it was most important. And for those who’ve seen the movie, i just really have to put this quote out there:

‘It was you. It was always you. You were my ghost, dad’

And in that, the movie completes itself. It talks about unfailing love, the peak and fall of humanity, and the potential of curiosity.

In this essay I will...

#nasa #interstellar #christopher nolan #did i spend an hour writing this and loved every second of it? yes #nanowrimo #i think it does count as an entry its over 2000 words #thanks for the ask #tw rant #mango pickle

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revolutionary-demosthenes · 4 years

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Louis de Manoël de Végobre (Pt. 1/2)

Essay 11

Louis de Manoël de Végobre. A friend (or more?) of John Laurens and Francis Kinloch, a lawyer, a scientist. I wanted to learn more about him after I reblogged that last quote, and found some interesting things so I figured I’d share them with you!

Keep in mind: I'm still doing research and finding new things about De Végobre... only it all has to be (google) translated because most of the writings on him are in French. So keep in mind the margin of translation errors while reading this. This first one will just talk about De Végobre’s life in general, and in the next one I’ll talk more about his sexuality and relationships.

Louis de Manoël de Végobre was born on November 12, 1752, to Charles de Manoel de Vegobre and Louise de Vignolles-de-La-Valette. I assume he was probably named after his mother. He had several siblings, but sadly (as with John Laurens) some of them died very young.

I was unable to find much more about his childhood, so fast forward to 1774.

De Végobre was a friend of the Chauvets, a family in Francis Kinloch and John Laurens’s social circle in Geneva in 1774. He taught Laurens math, and they became good friends. After Laurens left for England, De Végobre kept up a correspondence with him... one that was obviously not completely reciprocated, as this is what Végobre said in the beginning of a letter to John Laurens on February 18, 1775:

“Sir,

There is the second; shall a third be? I dont know, but you know. When I have wrote [&] sent an epistle, I am always imagining the history of it; I long to see it [illegible], arriving, read, and answered; I Keep in my memory its date, I calculate the time of its arrival, and I impatiently expect the time of receiving an answer. This longed for answer arrives at length; then I am contented, and beginning another letter I prepare myself for enjoying still such a pleasure. But—if no answer… What must I think? I am concerned, sometimes a little angry. How does my friend do? Is he sick, absent, or idle in answering? Suspense is a hard thing.

I have wrote to you on the 24th of December, you have not yet answered. If you are guilty of negligence, pray do not aggravate your fault by a longer delay. Fault, I say; indeed I think it to be a fault to let pass over a great time without answering the letter of one who deserved answer. There is the end of my chiding, and I hope my thanks will soon began: I mean, that my second stroke shall get me an answer. Indeed, I would be sorry if your continued silence would hinder me from setting pen to paper a third letter.”

“Suspense is a hard thing.” Pull those heartstrings, Louis!

“I would be sorry if your continued silence would hinder me from setting pen to paper for a third letter.” This is so hilarious and sarcastic. Like, “I would be so sorry, John, if I didn’t write you again because you DON’T EVER WRITE BACK... that would be really sad, John.”

At the end of this same letter, De Végobre also mentions, “Kinloch will not write to you, as he says, being a little angry with you because you dont answer his letter…” So basically, it seems these three were very close in Geneva, but Laurens didn’t write to Kinloch and De Végobre nearly as much as they wanted. And they let him know this was the case. Some possible explanations for this:

Laurens was busy. Studying law.

Laurens being jealous and it being painful for him to remember Geneva and his friends there. This one is more speculative, but since Laurens didn’t want to leave Geneva, and seemed very happy there, it’s possible that the letters Kinloch and De Végobre sent made Laurens feel jealous that he wasn't in Geneva with them.

Maybe Laurens was just “idle in answering.” This was not unusual for him.

Anyway. For age reference here, in 1776 De Végobre would’ve been around 24, and Kinloch 21.

De Végobre finished learning law around this time, and became a lawyer.

After Laurens left for London, a young man (aged 18) came to Geneva, and his name was Gabriel Manigault. He and Végobre became friends, and according to Evolution of a Federalist, William Loughton Smith of Charlestown (1758-1812) by George C. Rogers, jr:

“De Vegobre in a letter of June 7, 1776, after thanking Laurens for ‘the pretty Swift,’ told of being charmed with Manigault, whom he taught geometry and who taught him French and English belles-lettres. They often walked together and on Saturday evenings would visit Kinloch, who lived one league in the country and there they might stay until Sunday or even Monday."

In some ways it seems here that Gabriel replaced Laurens. He was a new student of De Végobre’s, who also was teaching De Végobre English, something Laurens did as well. De Végobre wrote Laurens on Dec. 24 1774, “For (putting aside all friendship) you have been my first teacher in English tongue, at every progress I made in this language, at every delight (and many are) I always remember that I am obliged to you for that...”

Gabriel was also a friend of Kinloch’s, it appears, since he and De Végobre were apparently staying multiple days with him regularly.

However, the trail on De Végobre runs pretty cold after 1776. He eventually came back to Geneva in 1784. According to the book La France protestante: ou, Vies des protestants français qui se sont fait un nom dans l'histoire depuis les premiers temps de la réformation jusqu'à la reconnaissance du principe de la liberté des cultes par l'Assemblée nationale; ouvrage précéde d'une notice historique sur le protestantisme en France, suivi de pièces justificatives, et rédigé sur des documents en grand partie inédits, Volumes 7-8 by Eugene and Émile Haag*, “[De Végobre] was appointed secretary of the first appellations then lord of the commands of Peney and Champagne; but political events stripped him both of his place and his fortune.”

There’s also a possible letter from him to Laurens from 1781, but I think it’s in a private archive.

De Végobre left Geneva for unclear reasons. (La France Protestante Vol. 7-8 by Eugene and Emile Haag simply says “Domestic affairs, then political circumstances kept him away from Geneva for several years, where he did not return until 1784.”) The political circumstances, however, may have been the Genevan Revolution.

“In 1814 Geneva having recovered its independence, de Végobre became a member of the Representative Council, where he sat until 1833 and where he displayed great activity. In 1815 he was appointed judge of the Supreme Court, and he held the office until in 1826, when, believing that his strength was declining, he resigned.” (from La France Protestante, Vol. 7-8 by Eugene and Émile Haag.)

De Végobre was interested in science, particularly physics. He was knowledgable enough that he even filled in for a sick science professor Marc-Auguste Pictet once!

De Végobre did not have many published works. There’s one called Discours pour servir d'introduction à un ouvrage posthume de François-André Naville, ci-devant conseiller d'Etat de la République de Genève, and another titled Sur le jury dans les procès criminels.

As for De Végobre’s personality, he seems to have been a pretty affectionate friend and generous as well. A man who knew De Végobre said that it was “by his amiable and serene character that he shone; neither sad trials, nor the age which often makes selfish and morose, did not alter in him this benevolence, this warmth of heart which made him so precious to his friends.”**

De Végobre never married. Again quoting La France Protestante, Vol 7-8 by Eugene and Émile Haag, “He [De Végobre] lived with his sister Anne Charlotte, who died Sept. 28, 1840 [...] This young lady also left fond memories. Although her fortune was small, her charity was inexhaustible. She was one of the founders of the Asile des orphelines de Genève, an establishment which until its last day was the object of her constant care.”

The “founding an orphanage” draws some Eliza Hamilton parallels.

Louis de Manoël de Végobre died in 1840, at around 88 years old.

*all the quotes from this book were google translated from French, and because of the long title, in the rest of this post I just refer to this book as “La France Protestante, Vol. 7-8.”

**google translated from French

#essay #Louis Manoel de vegobre #Francis Kinloch #John Laurens #quotes #books #Geneva good times #frev #geneva #Charles Manoel de vegobre #anne charlotte vegobre #eliza hamilton #Louis de Manoel de Végobre #la france protestante #was very helpful #it was the only place I actually found a real biography instead of vague mentions

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leam1983 · 3 years

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On Grief

This is a long one. You're under no obligation to push further if you don't want to. It's a personal post, so I'll more than understand if this isn't to your tastes. The normally-scheduled pedantry, commentary and memes will resume shortly.

One of my relatives was diagnosed with ALS. What started as an odd case of palsy in her left set of vocal cords that could've been far more benign was just confirmed by her referred physician. It's Lou Gherig's, and with her age and current condition, her prognosis is of three to five years, tops. Sure, Stephen Hawking blew his own prognosis out of the water, but a combination of notoriety and luck enabled him to eke out as much existence as medical tech could've possibly allowed.

We knew things were suspect when my aunt, a marathoner with a monthly sub to Runner's World, stopped running. Her food intake dropped like a stone, and she soon took to increasingly simple painting and drawing styles. At first we thought it was just her wanting to explore simpler rendering techniques, but then...

Then we noticed the twitching. How awkwardly her pens and brushes were set in her hands. She was in great shape and didn't mind living in the ass-end of Sutton, basically in the open country and with a path leading up to her front door that was all in rough cobblestones. She broke a hip against them, last year.

Her speech started to slur, lately. Her last bike trip also landed her in the ER. She doesn't bike anymore. She doesn't run, and being a gourmand by nature, feels obligated to restrain herself, for fear of gaining weight. She's aggressively vegan. Not towards others, but towards herself. No meat, no eggs, nothing. Most of us ovo-lactos and omnivores in the family know her constant snacking meant her seventy-plus body is desperate for energy.

From the look of things, it feels like the diagnosis broke through her bullshit reasoning for being vegan. She wasn't vegan for the sake of limiting her carbon footprint or making more responsible choices at the grocery store, but because she, as a lifelong anorexic, thought she was ugly and needed to lose weight. That's been a constant with her. Age catches up and skin sags? She mistakes it for a love handle, cuts out virtually all sources of protein and carbs safe for tofu, seitan and bean-based preps. Of course, like a lot of anorexics, she'd have bulemic episodes. I used to sleep over at her last bachelor pad, as a teen, and I remember her pantry was loaded up for bear with Danish cookie tins, Nutella jars and whipped cream. I remember she invited me over specifically when she intended to cheat. Then it was back to yoga, pot-smoking, meditation and shopping runs - and she probably kept her purging for when I was gone.

So yeah. I'm betting Belgian Asshole (see one of my previous posts) convinced her to break her vows and went looking for a "slice of authentic Tikka Masala", to quote his email. The entire family is made up of ethnic food diehards, so we spam-flooded his inbox with recommendations. Looks like she'll be eating meat again, soon. Her own email mentioned concerns of strength and stamina, so I get it.

Otherwise? We're gobsmacked. Imagine spending an entire weekday both at work and off work, aggressively goofing off because you're trying as hard as you can not to think of your favourite aunt's mention of assisted suicide as an option.

Three to five years. Maybe one, or two good Christmases. After that, her condition should probably have started to deteriorate quickly.

I'm not close with a ton of my own family. I love them all, but it's more a sense of polite respect than anything involving solid bonds. The only two folks I know I'll be devastated for when they'll die are her, and my youngest cousin on the other side of the family.

I'm mostly okay now. No doubts, no crisis of unbelief, no anger, no rage... But then I'll see her in a more diminished state, one of those days. How am I going to take to it?

Part of me keeps a tally of the deaths in the family. First, it was my uncle on my mother's side. Ruptured abdominal artery, with a leak small enough to pool into the gut's cavity for months. Decay settled in, guy got anesthetized for an intervention...

They didn't even bother sewing him back up.

Second one was my other paternal aunt's new husband. First one was great, but left the country in the seventies to go live in Stockholm with his medical assistant. Second one was a geologist and physicist at the same campus she taught as. French guy, the son of innkeepers four generations down. It showed, too. Our Christmas tables haven't been the same since he left us his recipie books, all his corny jokes on provincial eating habits, and his obstinate focus on turning every 25th of December into a Roman orgy probably befitting of the old Saturnalia traditions. I mean, when's the last time you've had an eight-course meal, outside of Thanksgiving?

Tumors in his mesenteric artery lined the blood vessel's inner walls, deposited virtually everywhere in his body. He was diagnosed in June and dead by August. He'd always been the lanky type, bone-thin even if he hoovered food like he'd never have enough. He looked even thinner in his hospital bed.

Then, my maternal grandpa bit it. Decades of casual alcoholism, cirrhosis more or less jumping on him around his seventy-sixth year. He looked a bit like John Keston, the actor who played Gehn in CyanWorlds' Riven. Same hairline, same hawkish nose, same eyes - just more Cajun and less New England-esque. I don't know if it was youth or stupidity or - anything, really, but I dropped by to see him, just two days before he died. I didn't realize he was tallying my life, asking me if I had everything in order, if things were planned.

Now, I understand.

Next one on the chopping block is Aunt Doris, still on Mom's side. She of the serial mooching, she of the concept of not needing much to get by if you were the cute one of the family. She was pretty enough in her prime, sure - if by pretty you meant "cigarette-butt blonde with a discount Farah Fawcett blow-up and an unfinished High School degree". First husband was an abusive ass who gave her an uncommonly sensitive son, second one figured she'd stick to the minimum-wage circuit while he tore out rotator cuffs or busted his C7 while on his outboard like clockwork. By the end, she roped my grandmother into living with her, spent her days sloppy-drunk and died on her ratty couch while falling asleep and choking on her own vomit.

Before them all, the youngest of my uncles died at age two. Cancer. Never knew which one, was told it didn't matter. You didn't survive much of anything cancerous, back in the late fifties.

Ping-pong this back to three years ago, and my oldest paternal uncle dies. Paul, who smoked like a chimney for most of his life and successfully stopped after discovering Champix. He got to live five great years as the high-IQ oddball he'd always been, smoke-free. Paul was the weird bird in the family, the type to remember a really engrossing story at two in the morning and making a note to call you up first thing in the morning to share it. He always had a project of some sort to work on, like a simulated investors' tank for young entrepreneurs looking to learn the ropes, or a Byzantine arrangement of coaxials allowing four of his lakeside neighbours to pirate his cable sub. He'd invite us over for dinner, gather all the ingredients we'd need for whatever it was he wanted to treat us to - and then he'd let us cook it - just sitting by the sidelines, chatting away.

He was also a bit of a narcoleptic, and looked a bit like William Howard Taft if you'd worked him out of these old sack suits and into modern shirts and suspenders. He fell asleep practically everywhere, with his more wakeful environments being his workshop and his property's dock. He took me out fishing, once, and knew what the entire family expected.

"Oars're here, Gremlin, fish're that way. Wake me up when you've got a bite."

At this point, it wasn't even a point of concern; it was just an Uncle Paul Thing, the exact thing you'd have expected out of this kind, eccentric blob of a man whose idea of fishing involved pushing his hat over his eyes and basically all but ensuring that his roaring snores would scare prey away. He'd been a supposedly high-IQ type, terminally bored with almost everything, only really getting agitated and interested back when I asked him for help for my Junior High Computer class's Javascript calculator. Once the syntax hit something familiar and he realized that JS has some similarities with FORTRAN, he was on a roll, acting like someone had snuck a Red Bull in his coffee.

Well, fibrosis caught up with him. His last hours were spent directing us on how to cook what would've been his last meal. I think he really just wanted to know we were alright, that we still could exchange laughs around the kitchen counter. He clocked out the way he always did, except he had an oxygen tube running under his nose. His head bobbed down, he snored loudly for a few minutes, then turned increasingly quiet...

And that was it.

And now there's Isabelle. The marathoner, my partner-in-crime when it comes to professing to have a healthy diet while occasionally cheating in glorious, weekend-defining means, my gateway to cannabis and also the first person who took my cringy self-insert fanfic fodder and went No, that's worth it! Push it, develop that universe of yours!

I wouldn't be almost two-thirds of the way through my first decent manuscript, if not for her, and I wouldn't be shopping for publishers with the same energy you'd reserve for weekend-grade Facebook putzing-about. I owe her part of my self-acceptance, and part of my discovery of what defines my routine to this day. Isabelle was my first meditation coach.

And in three to five years, she might be gone.

I just thought grief might be... noisier, is all. Louder. Right now, it's just germane to confusion, and it's sitting there. There's a pinch of fear in it, too. My parents are in their mid-sixties. How long do I have left with them?!

And the family and I just covered that up with jokes and, well, cooking. I've been told I'd make a half-decent therapist but - navigating your own emotions is hard work...

I don't know. I guess I needed to put this down somewhere.

#personal life #tw: cancer mention #tw: alcoholism mention #tw: death mentions #grief #coping

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collectsfallenstars · 4 years

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Azaleas for Lt. Jeong Taeeul: A close reading of Kim Sowol’s poetry in “The King: Eternal Monarch”

Korean Literature is divided into the Classical Period and the Modern Period. Literature under the Classical Period is heavily influenced by Confucianism, Buddhism, and to some extent, Taoism. The earliest form of literature came about in the 8th Century during the Shilla Kingdom.

The break-off point between Classical and Modern Literature is found in the Choson Dynasty which lasted from 1392 to 1910. Modern Korean Literature flourished when the Chinese writing script took a backseat to Hangul, the Korean alphabet. It was developed by King Sejong, or Sejong the Great, who ruled between 1418 – 1450. If you watched the first episode of The King: Eternal Monarch, that huge statue of a seated king in the middle of Gwanghwamun Square where Lee Minho hugged Kim Goeun without any warning? That’s King Sejong. Thanks to him, Korean language and Korean literature flourished.

Now, during the Choson Dynasty, two kinds of poetic forms came about— Shijo and Kasa and some of the most common subject matters from these poetic forms can be found in the Kim Sowol poems that were used in the kdrama, “The King: Eternal Monarch.” These are the themes of nature, grief, and the loneliness of traveling. However, when used against the backdrop of the drama, the poems, written during Kim Sowol’s lifetime between 1902-1934, take on a new life.

Let’s take a look at the poet’s life first and see how it informs our understanding of some of his poems. He was born in 1902 in an area that now belongs to North Korea. He suffered from a troubled childhood with a father who was mentally ill and beaten up by Japanese construction workers and therefore was unable to provide for his family. Kim Sowol was then raised and supported by his grandfather and his aunt. It has been said that it was his aunt who sang folk songs to him and told him traditional stories during his childhood and that it was this that stirred his love and talent for poetry.

But aside from poetry, he also loved a woman named O-sun. However, during their time, love rarely played a role in marriages and they were soon married off to different people. O-san then committed suicide at a very young age and losing her led to the first and last poetry collection that Kim Sowol ever published— “Azaleas.” His poetry carried the quality and rhythm that could be found in old Korean folk songs, possibly the ones his aunt had sung to him when he was a child. However, Kim Sowol found it hard to find his place in the world with just his poetry but without O-san. He committed suicide in 1934 at 32 years old. He remains, to this day, the most beloved Korean poet.

INVOCATION OF THE DEAD Kim Sowol

O shattered name!  O name parted from me in mid-air! O name without owner! O name I’ll call until I die!

The words left in my heart,  In the end, I wasn’t able to utter all. O you whom I loved! O you whom I loved!

The red sun is hanging from the western summit. The herd of deer also cry sadly.  Atop the mountain that has fallen off to the side, I call your name.

I call your name til I can’t bear the grief of it. I call your name til I can’t bear the grief of it. The sound of my call sweeps forward but sky and earth are too far apart.

Though I turn to stone standing here O name I’ll call until I die!  O you whom I loved!  O you whom I loved!

This poem is largely different from the rest of the collection because it is loud in its grief while the rest in the collection are like “Azaleas,” quiet, subdued and dignified in their sadness. In this one, the persona calls out to the beloved directly with lines that begin with an expulsion of breath and grief in “O,” and punctuated with exclamation points. But even in this intensity, the persona still can’t call out the beloved’s name.

There are several reasons for this. It pains the persona to even say the beloved’s name. Or it could be that the beloved’s name is as lost to the persona as the beloved is. Or it could be a staunch denial of the beloved’s departure. I’m going to go with the last one.

This poem is closely linked to the Korean pre-funeral custom called the Chohon, which involves calling out the name of the dead 3 times by the Sangju, the chief mourner who is usually the closest family member of the deceased. They go to the roof of their house, face north, and wave the deceased traditional shirt or blouse in the wind.

This stems from the Confucian belief that the human being is made up of the Hon (ethereal soul) and the Baek (corporeal soul) and the union of both is what keeps humans alive while their separation means death. The Chohon is then performed to keep the Hon from leaving the world because they hold on to the hope that they can bring back the soul to the dead. It is only when this ritual is finished that they can confirm the death of the person and then they can begin with the funeral rites.

Now, in the first stanza, “O name” appears 4 times in 4 different ways that can’t be called a repetition. The second stanza only contains 2 of the same lines with “O you” in it. The third stanza has one line with “your name” in it while the fourth stanza has only two lines with “your name.” The fourth stanza contains 3 lines but 1 has “o name” and the 2 have “o you.” The persona avoids the Chohon, even though the beloved is gone. By refusing to turn this into a Chohon, the persona evades thinking of the beloved as completely lost.

“O shattered name!” is a reference to the separation of the Hon from the Baek, resulting in the death of the beloved. “O name parted from me in mid-air” speaks of someone being gone too soon, someone who is only in the middle of his or her life. This could also mean that they are gone before the persona could even hold them, like a ball thrown in their direction and disappearing before it can be caught. “O name without an owner!” is especially painful because even though the name belongs to no one now, it’s still in the memory and on the lips of the persona.

The second stanza has many different translations but the gist of it means that even at this point when the beloved has been lost forever, without any hope of return, he still can’t bring himself to say the beloved’s name and complete the Chohon. He refuses to accept her death. Undoubtedly, this sentiment comes so close to Kim Sowol’s loss of his own beloved, O-sun.

The third stanza speaks of the setting sun and the lament of animals— it is grief found at the end of something. The top of the mountain replaces the roof of the house the persona should be on top of because they did not belong to a house, to anywhere, really. They probably belonged to other people too, like KSL and O-sun.

On the fourth stanza, the persona stands on top of that mountain, calling out the beloved’s name and hoping to bring back their soul, knowing it is impossible. The grief of this practice in futility comes to him in the realization that the sky and the earth are too far apart. No matter how long he stands there calling out her name, or how loud he can be, she will never hear him, nor return.

But even under the light of his sad epiphany, he remains steadfast in his love for her. He says he will call out her name until he dies, loving her and only her, for the rest of his remaining life and possibly even after death. It isn’t too far off to think that this may have been exactly what Kim Sowol felt at the death of his beloved.

Now, how does its use within the world of The King: Eternal Monarch add another layer to the poem. In the third episode, Lee Gon (Lee Minho) stood in the middle of a bamboo forest arguing with Jeong Taeeul (Kim Goeun) about his name. He’s trying to convince her that a parallel world exists alongside modern day Korea and in that parallel world, Korea is spelled with a letter C and operates as a Parliamentary Monarchy. He is also trying to convince her that he is the king there. Jeong Taeeul, being a police officer, insists on asking for his identification, his name, and he refuses to give it because there is a rule in Corea that no one is allowed to use the king’s name. At this, JTE makes fun of him and asks him if he is Kim Sowol, quoting the second stanza of “Invocation of the Dead” to him.

Spoiler alert, they eventually fall in love. But this moment leads LG to a bookstore in search for Kim Sowol’s one and only poetry collection, “Azaleas.” He finds it and opens it to the poem that JTE quoted to him. In the background, we hear Lady Noh, whom he eventually gifts the book to, reciting the poem. It switches to LG’s voice at the last line, indicating that he had read the poem as well. On screen, the frame is split between JTE and LG, directing the viewer to relate the poem to the pair of lovers.

The poem then acts as, of course, a foreshadowing of the events to come. Spoiler alert, no one died. So obviously, the poem does not act in its original capacity as some form of elegy for the dead. What it does do is drive home the point that LG and JTE are going to have a love that will be threatened by separation. Love between two people from parallel worlds with a ticking time bomb for a gate between them will not be easy. It will also be painful, should the separation be permanent.

Now, if one were to ask you, if you knew how painful this love was going to turn out to be, would you still have allowed yourself to fall in love?

LG’s answer will be a quick yes. He’s been in love with JTE for most of his life, and has literally held on to her name, by her ID, since he was 8 years old. JTE, on the other hand, took longer to gain access to, and use his name. He gives his name to her on the 5th episode, and she uses it to him on the 6th episode. She now has his name and will now know what to call out and hold on to, when she loses him in the future. Spoiler alert, she gets him back on the last episode.

So even though they don’t exactly lose each other like the persona and his beloved in “Invocation of the Dead,” or even Kim Sowol and O-sun, who lost their beloved to the sky while they remained on earth, the poem points us to a different kind of physical separation— that of two parallel worlds. While the persona in the poem vowed that he would defy time and space by loving her until his death, and even beyond, in the world within The King: Eternal Monarch, that vow was fulfilled. They found a love that could defy time and space.

(from Episode 10, The King: Eternal Monarch) *if anyone can help me find the title for this poem, I shall be eternally grateful to you ^_^ ---------------- by Kim Sowol

When the sun goes down over the white rapids, I shall wait by the gate. Between the shadows of the birds singing at dawn, I see the world brightening up In its still calmness. With my eyes fixated on the traveler passing by At the break of dawn, “Is that you?” “Is that you?"

By the tenth episode, LG and JTE have redefined and upped the game for long distance relationships. Much like the Kasa poems from the Choson Dynasty, the 2nd and 3rd poems used in “The King: Eternal Monarch” have grief and loneliness in travel as their subject matter. Long distance relationships have it easy now with plenty of choices for communication and travel (except now, with the ongoing pandemic). But one can only imagine what it was like for a lover to leave during the feudal Choson Dynasty. There is no assurance of a safe return, nor of an actual return. The waiting would seem endless without any word, just silence for months or even years. One can’t just text, “Where u?” every five minutes, or mark oneself safe during a village siege.

LG and JTE had to contend with this aspect in their relationship as both held important positions within their own worlds. Cellphones bought in one world would not work in the other. There’s no magic two-way mirror, faces in fireplaces for a Fire-call in the Floo Network or even owls, crows, or pigeons. Do despite being lovers in the 21st Century, LG and JTE’s temporary separations and the subsequent waiting in between visits feel like those from the Choson Dynasty.

This poem is a prime example of that with a persona who vows to wait for the return her beloved. She positions herself by the gate by sundown and stays there until dawn. She stays in the shadows of the birds who see the dawn before she does. This image is especially powerful in its quiet strength and fierce loyalty. The persona vows to wait for her beloved even through the darkness of the night. No matter how difficult or painful it is to wait, she will. And even if she doesn’t see the light of the dawn, or the end of this long night, she will still wait. She survives the nights of waiting by holding on to hope, despite the dire circumstance.

And life rewards her with the safe return of her beloved. It seems only fitting that this poem is read aloud during their brief reunion under a moonlit night in the bamboo forest. They are a long way from dawn, but hope and strength are there.

Note the way that Kim Goeun, who plays Jeong Taeeul, delivers her lines, “You’re finally here. Did you just get here?” as if they are the same line even though one is a statement and the other is a questions. Her inflections do not change. This echoes the last two lines of the poem, “Is that you?/ Is that you?” The repetition allows for a slight change in emotion— the first is a question, an expression of disbelief, while the second is filled with relief.

(from Episode 12, The King Eternal Monarch) *if anyone can help me find the title for this poem, I shall be eternally grateful to you ^_^ ---------------- by Kim Sowol

What is your reason for doing that? You were sitting alone by the stream The green grass was sprouting And the water was splashing From the spring breeze You promised that even if you go, You won’t be gone forever.

That is what you promised I sit by the stream each day And think about something endlessly

When you promised that even if you go, You won’t be gone forever Were you asking me not to forget you?

This poem plays on memory and remembrance. In the first stanza, the lovers are in the beginning stage of their relationship when everything is like spring— new, full of hope and potential for growth. While at this stage, it is easy to make promises like, “Even if I go, I won’t be gone forever.” It is meant to comfort the one who could be left behind. In the middle of bliss, that promise might sound comforting.

But as the poem progresses to the second and third stanzas, the persona is now alone on the same stream. No longer in spring nor the middle of bliss, the persona is left only with the vow that her beloved made to her. And it provides no sense of comfort. Instead, it makes her realize that the vow had been made as foresight. Her beloved must have known of his imminent departure and it was the only way he could ask her to wait for him— because every act of remembering him is an act of loving him. And when there is love, surely there must be hope for a return.

This poem is read by Lady Noh in background while LG and JTE are getting their picture taken— an act of remembrance, of keeping something frozen in time so that one can always remember the moment. Ironically, this is also the time when the world freezes. This is the side effect of one half of the Manpasikjeok crossing over into the parallel world. This is the moment that Lee Gon is made even more aware of their impending separation. The gate between the worlds is beginning to crack and the amount of frozen time keeps increasing with every crossing. Pretty soon, he will have to choose between righting the wrongs that Lee Lim created and staying with JTE. He is the King of the Kingdom of Corea— there is no question what his choice will be and he knows it.

He goes through all of these emotions in the hour that JTE and the rest of the world spends frozen in a smile. JTE is still in spring but LG is already far off into the future. But when the world unfreezes, LG slaps a smile on his face and has his picture taken with JTE. This is the perfect adaptation of the third and last Kim Sowol poem used in “The King: Eternal Monarch.”

AZALEAS Kim Sowol

When you leave, weary of me,  without a word I shall gently let you go.

From Mt. Yak  in Yongbyon  I shall gather armfuls of azaleas and scatter them on your way.

Step by step  on the flowers placed before you tread lightly, softly as you go.

When you leave  weary of me,  though I die, I'll not let one tear fall.

“Azaleas,” the titular poem of the Kim Sowol poetry collection, is not included in “The King: Eternal Monarch” but I think it is still important to discuss it as it relates greatly to the character of Lt. Jeong Taeeul.

Outside the context of the kdrama, the poem “Azaleas” has a persona who is the embodiment of dignity and strength in the face of utter devastation. The persona, by saying “When you leave,” shows her awareness of his inevitable departure. She knows in the future that he will leave her because he will get tired of her. And yet, she continues to love him.

And when that dreaded by unavoidable day comes when he leaves her, she vows to let him go as gently, and as lovingly as she can.

She promises to decorate his path away from her with flowers from her hometown. This is seen as an act of blessing. And although it’s tearing her apart in the inside, she refuses to let him know that him leaving is killing her. So it’s an even classier way of saying, “To the left, to the left, everything you own in a box to the left, don’t you ever for a second get to thinking you’re irreplaceable.”

Now, while Lee Gon doesn’t get tired of Jeong Taeeul in the drama, he does eventually leave her in order to save both worlds and right all the wrongs his uncle made. And in the 15th episode, when she finally realized that Lee Gon had made his choice and it did not include her in his world, she actually says the words, “I don’t think I can stay here and endure it alone…I think I’ll die.” Spoiler alert, she did not die. She does get stabbed though, but she did not die of waiting.

Instead, she found a way to get to him. Although it was unsuccessful, she did manage to kill Lee Lim of the present while Lee Gon killed Lee Lim in the past. She’s definitely not the type to spread flowers on the feet of the man who leaves her and then goes to cry quietly in the corner.

But the thing is, the azalea flower is the key to all of this. Azaleas are wildflowers that can be found in the deepest areas of forests that were previously destroyed due to deforestation or wildfires. According to “The Plant Book of Korea,” azaleas are known for their endurance and long lifespans.

So when the persona in the poem “Azaleas” spreads the flowers in the path of her beloved, she is reminding him that she will survive his departure. And when used within the world of “The King: Eternal Monarch,” Lt. Jeong Taeeul is the wild and resilient azalea flower. She will not stay in her place and simply wait for him to come back. She tried to find a way to get to him. And when that did not work, when being strong meant loving him even in his absence and waiting for him even if there was no hope in his return, she still mustered up enough courage and strength to love him and wait for him. And in the end, her strength and resilience were rewarded with the return of her beloved.

REFERENCES:

“(485) Poet Kim So-Wol.” Koreatimes, 10 Jan. 2008, koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/opinon/2008/01/137_17042.html.

Foundation, CK-12. “12 Foundation.” CK, flexbooks.ck12.org/cbook/ck-12-chemistry-flexbook-2.0/section/2.1/primary/lesson/matter-mass-and-volume-ms-ps.

“In the Midst of Death, Let's Have a Party.” Korea JoongAng Daily, koreajoongangdaily.joins.com/2007/10/28/features/In-the-midst-of-death-lets-have-a-party/2882042.html.

Klaudia Krystyna Writer. “Korean Funerals: Traditions, Customs and What to Expect.” Cake Blog, www.joincake.com/blog/korean-funeral/.

Korean Literature (Character of Korean Literature, Korean Classical Literature, Modern Literature of Korea), www.asianinfo.org/asianinfo/korea/literature.htm.

“The Most Beloved Poet of Korea, Kim So-Wol.” The Yonsei Annals, annals.yonsei.ac.kr/news/articleView.html?idxno=1896.

국립민속박물관 . “Temporary Spirit Tablet.” Encyclopedia of Korean Folk Culture, folkency.nfm.go.kr/en/topic/detail/537.

#thekingeternalmonarch #tkem #kim sowol #azaleas #theinvocationofthedead #leegon #jeongtaeeul #leeminho #kimgoeun #poetry

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