#should i reblog the fic itself with a review

[chryblossomjjk]

think im going to steal from here2bbtstrash and do a set day for reading and reviewing other content creators. my reading list is so long n i feel v guilty lol. part of having a healthy ecosystem on this platform is content creators supporting other content creators, especially since we share the same audience and the crossover from supporting eachother is huge. want to do my part in making everyone feel good about their work and giving them recognition because you all deserve it.

#maybe #hmmmm #tuesday #reviewsday #👀 #and ill do like two or three every tuesday #yeah #especially new creators i want to support bc starting out is scary #and the community labels have made it impossible to get interactions unless you already have a following #a separate rec blog would be easier to organize but #my following is on this platform obvi so maybe not #also like #should i reblog the fic itself with a review #OR make a separate post linking the fics with their reviews so they have a chance to get in the tags again #and new ppl can find them through the search #let me know your thoughts #💗

[heartkyeom]

be sweet

prince!hoshi x princess!reader (svthub garden collab)

word count: 18.7k

warnings: arranged marriage, enemies to lovers, modern royalty au, family issues, descriptions of food, unprotected sex

tag list (only svthub members since I’m revamping my tag list): @bitchlessdino @wondernus @idyllic-ghost @strawberryya @junkissed

notes: oh my god I finally have another fic out!! this one was truly a labor of love, thank you to all the svthub members that beta read any part of this story. this fic is for the @svthub garden collab and I am extremely grateful for the network’s help with this story <3 I’m very happy that this aligned with hoshi’s birthday! and a big big thank you to my beloved @wondernus for making this amazing header for me!!! as always, I hope y’all enjoy this and please leave feedback through reblogs !!!! and the title is based off the amazing song be sweet by japanese breakfast, listen along to it if you’d like!

The day’s events shouldn’t have felt so taxing, yet they were. There were only a few meetings you had to sit in on, both not requiring full participation. That sounded easy enough for you to handle, you were used to the rigor of royal meetings for years now.

It was easy enough to brush off any requests with a short comment of approval or neutrality, never expressing a thought of negativity unless the guest was close to your family.

You didn’t pull the princess card very often, especially since your meetings mainly consisted of fellow royals who knew the pressure of the job, but today felt different.

Maybe it was the dull pressure that resided in your head, making it hard to focus on the topics at hand. You curse yourself for not taking some kind of headache relief earlier, but now it has lodged itself in the middle of your brain.

You almost work up the nerve to speak up, but your aide beats you to it.

“Princess,” you feel a hand on your shoulder, “there's an urgent matter. We should leave immediately.” Her hushed tone makes your heart clench.

You could only hope no one in your family was hurt. You silently nod and clear your throat, bringing attention to yourself.

“I’m so sorry, but something urgent came up. I have to go, but please make sure to send me any notes and I’ll be sure to review them before we meet again,” You offer the room a small smile, enough to garner empathetic nods from the room.

You let out a shaky breath and stand from your seat, your aide trailing slightly behind your side as you both exit the room in silence.

“What’s going on?” You ask hesitantly.

“Someone has requested a private meeting with you, they asked to keep their identity a secret. Everyone in the family is okay, don’t worry,” The aide turns her head slightly to make sure she can see your response.

You can’t help but ask about your family first, it’s the only thought you have as the only child.

If someone’s passed on, you’re stepping up to handle the situation, and the emergency plans start to kick into high gear.

Luckily, that nightmare can remain at rest.

“Okay,” you nod slowly, trying to process who could want a private meeting with you.

Is an elder statesman concerned about his country? An estranged family member asking for a favor? It really could be anything or anyone.

You both keep a consistent pace through the cavernous halls of the royal estate, your footsteps echoing loudly with each step. You soon arrive at one of many conference rooms, and you’re surprised to see your aide face her back towards the door, she steps aside to let you walk in.

“I’ll be out here if you need anything, lest it escalates to that point,” She raises her eyebrows at you before looking away. That wasn’t a reassuring sign.

You brace yourself before going inside, but nothing seems to prepare you for who’s waiting.

“Hi, lovely.” Kwon Soonyoung smiles at you in a menacingly sweet kind of way, it makes your blood boil.

He’s dressed much nicer than you’re used to seeing him, he’s the type to wear baggy clothes that swallow him whole. In contrast, today he wears a crisp button-down with black slacks, his suit coat nowhere to be found. His signature designer sneakers are exchanged for loafers instead. There’s no logical reason why he could be here, considering his own busy schedule as a prince.

Soonyoung isn’t flying in for a private conversation just for the hell of it.

“Why are you here?” Your tone is resolute, not allowing for even an inch of resistance.

“That’s what we need to talk about. We’re getting married,” He lifts the corner of his mouth.

You let out a laugh that is nowhere near polite, in fact, you’re nearly cackling at the prospect of this idea. It’s simply so outlandish, so fantastical that every time you look at his face it seems more unfathomable.

Most princesses knew to let each other know that if they were charmed by him, Soonyoung was ultimately not marriage material. If anything, he was determined to make himself the least suitable husband possible.

He was the typical sweet boy turned party animal, spending most nights abroad drinking his days away with a new girl in his bed every night. He does show up to the occasional political obligation, but only when his team forces him to. That’s one reason why he bothers you so much, he has such little duty to his native country of Aranorin and the people in it that everyone else has to make him care about it.

“You’re joking, there’s no fucking way,” Your body vibrates from laughter, but you slowly come to your senses once you see he’s not cracking another joke.

“I’m not joking, I’m here to start our courtship.” His serious tone makes you start to consider the gravity of the situation.

“Hold on, so you think you can just come into Maritria, coming from god knows where,” You make a broad gesture toward him before continuing, “to formally start our relationship. That’s what you’re saying,” You cross your arms, returning to your originally defensive stance.

“Yes, this isn’t just coming out of thin air. This has been in the works for a few months now,” He raises his eyebrows to punctuate the timeline. It just makes you even more confused. Why wouldn’t anyone tell you about this?

“What do you mean?” You question.

He braces himself one last time. “I’ve been speaking to the king and queen about arranging our marriage for two months,” You almost think his face goes slightly sympathetic at his admission, but that’s wishful thinking.

Regardless, it’s a blow to your ego.

How could they not tell you? How could they so easily shift the responsibility onto him without saying a word?

It would be one thing if they were still considering other men, but to know the talks were final, that Kwon Soonyoung was your future husband whether you liked it or not, was a devastating realization.

“This is unbelievable.” You let out a shaky whisper, you’re so rattled that you force yourself to sit down and close your eyes, willing yourself to take a deep breath.

You open your eyes to see him hovering near you, clearly a stifled attempt to try and comfort you. Yet, he’s the least comforting person you’ve ever known.

“I don’t want to do this either. You’re definitely not my first choice for a wife.” He scoffs at the possibility that he could ever choose you without incentive.

“Yeah, clearly. You’d rather want a girl who would kiss your ass every day instead of being honest with you.” You retort.

The gossip that flitted between young royals all but confirmed your suspicion that he dumped any girl that tried to make a long-term connection with him. It was fine if he didn’t want to get married. Not all royals are meant for it, and he didn’t have as much pressure to marry off as the youngest child. He could get away with being a lifetime bachelor, but choosing that lifestyle wasn’t worth hurting other people in the process.

“Aw, is lifetime celibacy boring you that much to the point where you’re worried about the girls I sleep with?” He cracks a smile that you match with a forced laugh.

“No, I just think you dump them as soon as they realize how small your dick is.” You smile through your response, causing him to form his arms together.

“You’re so lucky now that we’re together, you can finally stop waiting for those nice guys who don’t have a personality to sweep you up,” His condescending tone makes you frustrated but not deterred from bantering completely.

“So I can end up dating one of your dickhead friends instead? Absolutely not,” You shake your head knowing how insufferable most of his friends are. Soonyoung just happened to be the worst of them.

“All jokes aside, I know you’re perfectly aware of why we’re getting married. I don’t have to look at the news to know things are bleak,” His straightforward approach forces you to swallow the lump in your throat.

You knew the country’s finances were not great.

You didn’t want or need to see the exact numbers, especially if it makes your day-to-day duties labored with worry. Although many political teams insist that princesses have no business in the logistical affairs of running a country, it meant everything to you to know how your country was faring in the world. Maritria already maintained a longstanding connection with Aranorin that gave your country some freedom to pursue other lucrative opportunities, but it dawned on you that it wasn’t enough.

“I’m doing this for my country, not out of some pathetic excuse you may have to avoid self-reflection. You can just get married to me and stop pretending to be a good person, right?” You ask bitingly.

“We both know I stopped pretending a long time ago. Marrying the nation’s sweetheart is just a bonus,” He smirks unapologetically, you don’t like the way the nickname sits on his tongue as if it’s his own.

“Is there anything else you want? I need to get back to work,” You stand up from your seat, trying not to look back at the door while you plot your escape. It was hard enough not to completely explode at him, and you needed to redirect your energy elsewhere.

“There is, I got you something,” He retrieves a small velvet box from his pocket. “It’s not an engagement ring, but just consider it a courtship gift.”

You open the box and lightly examine the ring. You know it’s far too expensive than most of the jewelry you’ve ever worn. Your family was wealthy, but Soonyoung’s family had the kind of money that you didn’t need to plan so carefully around. However, you don’t want to seem so easily impressed.

“It’s fine. When are you planning on proposing?” You brush him off easily.

“That ruins the surprise.” He smiles at you yet your face remains stoic.

“I’ll get your number from someone else, I don’t want to drag this out anymore.” You stuff the box in your dress pocket and start to make your way toward the exit.

“It’s been horrible to see you again, Your Royal Highness.” His stiffly formal greeting makes you turn around to face him.

You squint your eyes. “Don’t do that.”

“What?”

“The Royal Highness thing,” You point at yourself before continuing, “I’m not gonna say Your Royal Highness every time we’re in private. Don’t start giving a shit now.”

“Fine. Bye, darling.” He quips.

Your face contorts into disgust before you can stop yourself. “You’re not gonna make that my mandated wife nickname.”

“You don’t get to choose the nickname I give you, honey.” He approaches you and pinches your cheek before speaking, “Besides, it’ll be fun to try to figure out how to mask my hate for you in public.”

You cringe at his touches, but you straighten up immediately.

“Likewise,” You offer a tight-lipped smile before finally leaving the room.

You close the door behind you and take the breath you didn’t know you were holding in.

“Can you clear my schedule for the rest of the day? I need time to deal with this,” You finally look at your aide with an expectant glance.

“Yes, of course, princess.” She immediately grabs her phone to send notices to those involved. You can’t even remember who you were meant to see for the rest of the day. Your mind simply wanders to your parents, the next targets of your rage.

“I’m gonna go home. I don’t want to see anyone unless it’s my parents. Or him, not that I want him around anyways,” You roll your eyes at the thought of having to voluntarily communicate with him on a regular basis.

“Sounds good. I have his phone number, if you’d like it.” She offers.

“Ok,” You agree and quickly input his phone number. As you type in a contact name, you’re not sure what to call him.

Soonyoung is far too casual, it doesn’t feel comfortable yet. You’re absolutely not calling him by his title, not by a long shot.

The romantic pet names similar to the ones he used with you were not earned, so it left you stumped.

You settle on “headache,” because the ache in your temple is still there, bothering you immensely and now he’s adding to it.

You’re just lucky that you didn’t end up shouting at each other this time.

—

As if they could read your mind, your parents call you in for an emergency meeting before you can make it home. That pent-up rage is starting to make its way out before you even see them, it shows in the way you stomp to your father’s main office, marching far ahead of your aide.

You open the door without knocking, a major sign that you’re not looking forward to the discussion.

Your father gives you a warning look, but you’re not bothered by it. The staff turns their attention toward your bold entrance, immediately preparing themselves to leave.

Your father is sitting in his velvet study chair, poised as always. Your mother stands behind your father, idly leaning her weight against the back wall.

Her demeanor is not as composed, as if she knows you’re about to raise hell.

“We’d like a private meeting, thank you,” He gives a pained smile to the staff and they all file out silently. You watch them with a fiery gaze, waiting for the last person to close the door behind you.

When the door finally shuts, you whip your gaze to face them again.

“Soonyoung? Are you kidding me?” You exclaim.

“Y/N, please,” Your mother tries to intercept, but you’re faster than that.

“Actually, I’d like to know exactly why I was left out of the conversation about me having an arranged marriage, to begin with,” You cross your arms and lean back in your chair, preparing yourself for a bullshit excuse.

“Well, we were anticipating this kind of reaction,” he gestures at you in disapproval, “you weren’t meant to be involved in these discussions in the first place.” He speaks to you so patronizingly that it almost catches you off guard.

“So you can just decide that I’m getting married on a whim, just like that.” You snap your fingers impatiently.

“You know how the country is currently faring, you knew marriage could possibly be an option for financial security almost a year ago. Please don’t act like this is some affront to you,” Your father slowly raises his voice, fists slowly clenching as he elaborates.

“Yes, but you didn’t tell me things were this bad. You didn’t tell me that you had tried everything else. Hell, you didn’t even tell me that you were starting discussions about marriage!” You were trying your best to keep your voice even, but the defeat was starting to show through.

“We ultimately thought leaving you in the dark was best, but we miscalculated.” Your mother tries to cover for your father’s stern approach. You scoff, turning away for a moment before continuing.

Miscalculated is an understatement. You were devastated.

Your father seems to be annoyed that you were showing this much emotion while your mother seems ashamed that the situation has escalated this far. Their conflicting expressions just made you feel even worse, knowing that they couldn’t act as a united front. You wished that it was either complete anger or support from both of them.

“Soonyoung. You can’t possibly tell me he was the only option,” You turn back to them with glossy eyes.

“Sweetheart, you know Arinorin is one of our most important allies. Soonyoung would have always been an option. Even if there were better options, we couldn’t ignore him.” Her comforting tone does little to comfort you at the moment.

A tear finally falls onto your cheek. Her words hurt because she was right. Even if there was a perfect prince waiting for you out there, he wasn’t the prince of Arinorin.

“He hates me, you don’t see how much he hates me.” You shake your head and cover your face with your hands. You’re fully sobbing into your hands and it leaves your parents speechless. You know they’re looking at you with full judgment, but it didn’t matter.

“You’re giving your only daughter away to a man who despises her.” You seethe through your tears.

“He hasn’t given us any reason not to trust him.” Your father speaks up again and it breaks you down even further. He has that immovable stare on his face that signals his word is final.

You compose yourself before speaking again.

“When we get a divorce, it’ll be your fault.” You lift your hand to your cheeks, wiping away any stray tears left on your face.

“You’re being ridiculous, you’re saying that you won’t even try for your country?” Your father shifts in his seat, it seems like he wants to jump up and fully lecture you but it won’t happen.

You finally snap. “I have tried for this country! Every day, I have shown both of you what I’m capable of as a future queen, not asking you for anything. Now, the one part of my life where I should have control, choosing the person I’m married to, I have none.” By the time you finish speaking, your tears are gone by sheer will. Your eyes burn with the familiar sting of fatigue mixed with anger bubbling over the surface.

“I’m sorry, dear.” You see your mother wipe a tear of her own. You were grateful that she saw through you, at least at this moment. It was a quiet show of support that you needed amongst all these difficult feelings.

You put your head in your hands for a moment before looking up at them. “I’m going home and someone will send me the things I need to wrap my head around this entire situation.” Your tone is far more measured compared to before.

Before you can hurt your own feelings by hearing them out, you decide to make your exit. You’re nearly out of the door before you turn around again, letting go of the doorknob.

“I’ll always remember that he told me first instead of you.” With that, you leave without looking back at their expressions.

Hopefully, it’ll hurt like hell for them to hear it.

You ignore the staff members that were peering near the door, eagerly waiting to see who would break first. You’re sure that it looks dramatic, but you were far too concerned with your own feelings before anyone else’s.

—

Once you made it home, you were attempting to forget the stress of the day and it was going relatively well. You were able to catch up on a TV show you’d been forgetting to watch, and finally remembering to do self-care tasks that were left unattended due to your work.

Now, you’re taking a bubble bath with no intention of opening your eyes anytime soon. You needed to just sit, you didn’t have much time to do that most days.

The water is still fairly hot, enough to where you can sink down and continue to salvage any remaining calmness you might’ve had left.

Thus, your vibrating phone didn’t exactly make you feel at ease. You hope that it wasn’t one of your parents, considering your conversation didn’t have a clean finish. Any of their apologies would be falling on stubborn ears.

You glance at your lock screen and if anything, it’s worse.

It’s him. You pick up the phone with an anxious hand and press the accept button.

“What do you want?” You snap at him.

“You actually picked up!” He notes with a hint of surprise.

“Trust me, I didn’t want to.” You shift uncomfortably in the bathtub, the sloshing water calling you out immediately.

“Is that water? What are you doing?” His curious nature already annoys you, so it’ll be easier to dodge the question.

“None of your business.” Your free hand cups the remaining bubbles in the bath.

“Oh my god, is the princess naked on the phone with me?” He sounds far too pleased with himself. You can practically hear his shit-eating grin in the way he replies.

“You’re a horny little freak who hasn’t told me why he’s called yet.” You force yourself to sit up now that the relaxation in your body is quickly dissipating.

“Right. We’re doing intimacy coordination tomorrow. I figured you didn’t look at that schedule they gave you.”

“Shit.” You sigh just out of earshot.

Intimacy coordination isn’t common at all with arranged royal marriages. If a couple looked like they had never met before in their life, it was typically on them for not being more convincing. Yet, the number of public events you two have to be involved in over the foreseeable future warranted different circumstances. If you couldn’t look head over heels for each other at the wedding, it was going to spell trouble for both countries.

“I’m only in town until tomorrow night, so I don’t have to look at your face for much longer than that,” You sigh at his response, knowing that he’s not one to hold back with you.

“I wish you could leave sooner, maybe I could actually enjoy not seeing you even more than I already do.” You reach to open the drain.

“Just practicing my future husband duties by stressing you out, love,” You can practically hear his smile through the phone.

“That one isn’t bad, actually,” Your thoughts trail off once you hear it, but he brings you back to reality almost immediately.

“So that’s definitely not what I’m gonna call you.”

“I’m hanging up.” Your waning patience with him has officially run out and you’re itching to move on with your night.

“Bye, honey!” He’s laughing uncontrollably through the response and it makes your blood boil. It’s clear that this is already a joke to him.

“Fuck off,” You hang up before you have to listen to his laughter any longer. You put your head in your hands and let out a muffled scream.

He already wanted to make this courtship as excruciating as possible.

You finally stand up from the bath and wrap a warm towel around your body, staring at your reflection in the mirror.

Luckily, your parents did listen to your request and a massive document of schedules and timelines of your relationship with Soonyoung appeared in your email inbox.

You had only skimmed the schedule before Soonyoung called you, you stopped looking at it before it stressed you out beyond repair.

According to the timeline your parents created in accordance with his team, you were supposed to have been dating for 11 months at this point.

You can’t possibly imagine putting up a front for 11 months, but then again, you would have to pretend for the rest of your life.

That thought haunts you through the rest of your night routine.

How do you carve your life around Soonyoung when he’s creeping his way into everything?

How do you find peace when you’re with someone who’s determined to misunderstand you?

These questions have you wiping your tears as you attempt to fall asleep that night.

—

To your dismay, the intimacy training was first thing in the morning.

You were barely conscious, but somehow you arrived early with a slightly cloudy mentality and an overall dread for the next 2 hours.

You were the first of the three, besides your personal staff members, to arrive at the dance studio. You figured the space was far too big for what you were working through today, but you forego criticism to admire the room.

Admittedly, you didn’t go into many of the creative spaces throughout the palace because you weren’t a creative type. The arts were simply something you admired from afar, you didn’t have the talent even as a child to pursue these things seriously.

This apparently needed to be remedied as you notice the sweeping mirrors around the perimeter of the room. The hardwood floors were practically shining underneath your feet. You’re sure that whoever used the room was sure to enjoy themselves.

You’re admiring yourself in the mirror when you catch Soonyoung entering the room. He quietly greets the staff, giving short bows to everyone in sight.

It’s the only time you’ve seen him act with a royal demeanor, even in his casual workout clothes it’s a bit surprising to see him this way.

He makes his way over to you with a smile on his face.

“You’re early.” He eyes you up and down.

“Unfortunately, yes. You look.. comfortable.” You don’t mean to raise your voice up another octave, but you were just barely attempting niceties.

“So do you, you actually don’t look like you're trying too hard for once.” He leans against the mirror and gives you another judgmental look.

“It’s far too early in the morning to play this game, Kwon Soonyoung. Don’t get your feelings hurt.” You close your eyes before you get too angry, a slight change of pace from your typical interactions with him.

“It’s fine. I’m sure you’ll be more awkward considering you’ve only had two boyfriends, one who looked like he was your son.” He stifled a giggle.

“Chan was so sweet.” You pouted at the thought of your teenage boyfriend. He really was kind, probably the perfect first boyfriend that you could ask for. You remember how much he cried when you broke up with him. You just weren’t the same person you were when you started dating him at 16, so you needed the space to grow apart.

Unfortunately, Soonyoung was right about the mom thing.

“It’s not my fault I had a growth spurt and the stylists kept dressing me like a divorce lawyer.” You insisted.

You recalled how harsh the style blogs were on you back then, many claimed that you’d never find your own personal style as long as other people kept dressing you older than you actually were. Unfortunately, they were also right. You live and learn though.

However, you didn’t even want to think about your second boyfriend.

“I’m just saying good chemistry doesn’t come naturally to all of us, it’s okay to ask for help.” His faux concern was especially irritating.

You weren’t that awkward with men, were you?

You didn’t have much time to consider an answer before a young woman walked into the studio.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you both! My name is Elise and I’ll be leading you both through training today.” She offers her hand out to you for a handshake and you accept with a smile. She does the same to Soonyoung and moves toward the mirror.

“So, how long have you known each other?” She dives right into discussions with the question.

“Around 15 years or so?” The number that came out of your mouth was definitely a rough estimate, but it sounded about right.

You vaguely remember being introduced to Soonyoung and his older siblings at a fancy state dinner as a child. He was far less mischievous then, a bit timid around everyone except his family. Since then, you’ve ran into each other regularly due to the relationship between your parents. They were far closer to each other than you were with him and his siblings, so the situation feels a bit ironic now.

“Okay, but I’m assuming you haven’t been in contact very often?” She clarifies.

“Not at all.” He chimes in.

“Right, so we’ve got our work cut out for us then. Today isn’t gonna be too complicated, you’re just gonna be trying some physical activities to see how natural that looks.” Elise smiles in order to lighten the mood, but you’re certain it won’t work out.

“So, what are we gonna practice, hugging?” He scoffs, and you’re certain that he thinks this is all bullshit. You weren’t happy about it either, but keeping up appearances was the most important part of this.

“Yes, I know that sounds weird, but I promise it’ll pay off,” Elise continues to offer reassuring statements, but he’s not convinced and frankly, neither are you. You exchange a glance with him and decide to take the lead as the awkwardness continues to sit in the air.

“So where should we start?” You ask out of a mix of curiosity and dread.

“Let’s just have you both hold hands.”

Soonyoung extends a hand out to you with a smirk on his face. You’d rather slap him, but you’d think it would leave Elise traumatized.

You take his hand a bit too forcefully and adjust yourself within his hold. By glancing at the two of you in the mirror, you notice two things.

First, his hands are warm, a bit too warm for this moment.

Secondly, his thumb is absentmindedly brushing against the back of your hand. You can’t call attention to it or else it’ll stop, and you decide in the moment that it’s too relaxing. He probably doesn’t even notice that he’s doing something so romantic, that little bastard.

“Okay, so how does that feel?” Elise asks.

“Fine.” The reply forces itself out of your mouth.

“It’s fine.” He agrees with a nod of his head. He also peers at the both of you in the mirror with a slight curiosity, his head tilting slightly.

“We do look good together, though.” He murmurs to himself. You’re not sure if it’s the arrogance peeking through and he only believes you look good while he’s with you, but maybe for a second, you can see what he’s talking about.

“Good, and what’s a small physical gesture you can do to make each other feel at ease?” Elise’s question causes you to look up at him.

This feels unnecessary since Soonyoung is not a nervous person. No matter what, his particularly frustrating charm and gregarious personality never allow any anxiety to show to others.

“I can just do this.” He calls attention to the thumb thing and that puts you on the spot.

He seems incapable of needing comfort. It’s one of the things that keeps a silent distance between the two of you. You believe that he remains emotionally stunted in order to navigate his world a bit easier.

He can let the girls who want something more from him down easy, and they don’t realize how bad it really felt to be pushed away until they never see him again.

You didn’t want to end up in that position.

“I don’t know.” You let your mind wander for a moment.

Yet, he was bold. He was always decisive in what he wanted, never caring about what his actions made him look like if it was for better or worse.

You figured that you should be bold too.

You intertwine your fingers deeper into his grasp and pull his hand to your lips, leaving a small peck on the back of his hand.

His eyes widened immediately. “That’s quite forward, princess.”

“I needed to one-up you,” You answer nonchalantly, but you don’t miss the slight spark in his eyes. It was unexpected, and you were always going by the book.

Elise ignores your conversation and continues her questioning. “So I assume you both will be interested in PDA?”

“To a certain extent, I don't see why not.” You pull back slightly into your reserved nature, but he runs with it.

“Yes, we’re supposed to be a more open and progressive couple to represent a new generation of royals, so it would be nice to be a bit bolder,” He nods decisively along with his response.

You didn’t really think about the relationship like that until he mentioned it. While you were attuned to a certain sense of responsibility as the singular face of your country’s new generation of leadership, it was known that you fought back against regressive norms brought up in your daily work.

Why not lean into something new when the image of your respective countries so desperately needed a refresh?

“That’s good to know. I know you both have different styles, but I think there are ways we can meet in the middle here.” Elise notes.

That statement proves to be true for the rest of your session. Elise leads you both through hugging and slightly provocative gestures that make you want to crawl out of your skin, but you both fumble your way through it.

Soonyoung seems insistent on embarrassing you with more revealing gestures while yours are relatively contained. He’s being a bit too playful for your liking, but it helps you understand his personality a bit more.

You decide that you want a moment to speak with him before he flies back home later that evening, excusing Elise and the remaining staff to leave you both in the studio.

“When do we see each other again?” You ask.

“You’re a bit too eager, aren’t you darling?” He smirks at you, and you lose the slight bit of faith you had instilled in him before.

“Shut up, I’m just trying to remember this stupid schedule.” You grumble. You resort to pulling out your phone instead, quickly finding the most up-to-date iteration of the relationship timeline in your email inbox.

“I’ll be in Arinorin in a few weeks to meet your parents,” Your brain works through the schedule quickly, scanning the information fast enough to say it out loud.

“Oh shit.” He mutters under his breath.

Oh shit was right. You haven’t had a proper conversation with the king and queen since you were a teenager. It was typical family friend fare, asking how your studies were going, if your hobbies were still things you enjoyed and a faint interest in any other topics that you happened to bring up.

Since then, there were only brief interactions in passing that were fairly positive. They must’ve thought quite well of you if they agreed to have their youngest son marry you, but that was something you’d have to inquire about with them.

“And to go on a date with you,” You mumbled.

That’s what really rattled you. It wouldn’t be real until no one else was around to direct and stage your romance, it was up to the both of you to make it happen.

“Right, I’ll get to choose what we get up to.” You can tell that his brain is creating a vision that will be less than satisfactory, and you can’t fight the urge to attempt to gain control.

“We aren’t going on your yacht, are we? I think you’ve broken enough hearts there.” You tease him.

“Very funny, and no, we’re not going on the boat… anymore.” He admits with an eye roll.

“See! I knew you were gonna take me there!” You interject, letting out the laugh that had been sitting in your chest for a minute or so.

“I’m never anybody’s boyfriend, cut me some slack,” He says it as if it’d get him off the hook for being mentally checked out during this process.

That much was obvious from the lack of planning, but you’d have to give him some space to try and impress you.

“Yeah, that’s pretty clear. I know long-term planning isn’t your strength.” You bite back and he brushes it off easily.

“Get all your jokes out now, but I’m gonna impress you. Mark my words,” He points at you while heading towards the door.

“We’ll see about that, loverboy,” You check your phone absentmindedly while he sees himself out.

“Is that my nickname?” He pokes his head back into the door with an excited tone.

“Bye, Soonyoung,” You grit your teeth into a smile and watch him reluctantly leave the room.

You can only hope your future in-laws aren’t as insufferable as him.

—

A few weeks later, the trip to Arinorin has arrived and all of its possible consequences are driving you up a wall. The culmination of meeting with your future in-laws, the date with Soonyoung, and the idea of being perceived as his partner outside of your home country are all slightly nauseating.

At first, it was just fun and games, but now, as the plane lands, the tension settles beneath your skin. Soonyoung was supposed to be picking you up, but you didn’t have much faith in that happening.

You barely remembered to grab the ring he gifted you so you could wear it while you were in town, simply as a reminder that this was all happening.

You exit the plane with your luggage in tow, only for Soonyoung to be waiting on the tarmac. He’s accompanied by a large black SUV that is clearly not his personal car, but his stance is trying to convince you that it is.

“Hi, princess.” He calls out with a wave of his hand.

“When are you gonna actually call me by my name?” You approach him with squinted eyes, your vision steadily adjusting to the early afternoon sun.

“When this feels less awkward, so give or take a few years,” He jokes.

“Not funny,” You gesture to him to take your luggage, and he catches the hint once you look at him again. You don’t want to shoulder smaller tasks onto his staff, you wanted to see how he would handle these things instead.

“How was the flight?” He calls out to you again, you hear the trunk slam shut and he comes into view again to anticipate your answer.

“It was alright, I’m just tired.” You rub at your temples to punctuate the feeling.

“Hopefully your room will be good enough,” He sounds somewhat considerate while opening the door for you. It feels wrong.

You slide into the back row with him following behind you. He shuts the door and his driver promptly begins the drive to the palace.

“Are you nervous about the trip? My parents aren’t exactly as kind as yours,” Soonyoung chuckles.

You let out a deep sigh. You wouldn’t call them kind considering the circumstances, in fact, you’re barely on speaking terms with them outside of public obligations.

Was it petty? Yes.

Was it also justified? Yes.

You figured that icing them out for a while would help them come to their senses. If worst comes to worst, maybe it could help you gain further control over the wedding.

Nevertheless, you were still upset with them.

“They’re really not that great, and I’d say that I’m pretty good with parents,” You avoid his glance to look out the window instead, taking in the sights of the country.

You don’t have many memories of Arinorin. Many of them were informed by meetings that you couldn’t even remember anymore.

“You’re right. The nation’s sweetheart can charm anyone. Plus it’ll give me time to think about what we’re gonna do on the date,” He affirms with a nod of his head.

“God, don’t remind me. If I’m lucky, we’ll be meeting at a strip club.” You roll your eyes.

“You really have no faith in me!” He pouts. You don’t give into him though.

“It's hard enough just being in a car with you.”

—

Soonyoung doesn’t ever have to think about first dates.

In fact, he doesn’t think he’s been on a proper first date since he was a teenager. Even then, it was low stakes. He could just pick something random for him and another girl to do, and it would be completely inconsequential to his life.

Now, impressing his future wife with an incredible first date feels monumental. He barely knew anything about you besides that goody two shoes personality of yours. It seemed like everyone was suddenly obsessed with you and he was the last to know.

He decides that a midday picnic is inoffensive enough for the both of you to enjoy. If either of you were miserable with each other, there would at least be good food to distract from it. The sunny weather was already on his side, now he just had to charm you.

You waved slightly as you approached his picnic blanket, stopping before your feet could cover the edge of the blanket.

“Wow, this is a lot,” Your eyes landed on the assortment of food spread across the blanket. There was a spread of fruit, snacks, and sandwiches for the two of you to eat together. Soonyoung knew he didn’t completely fuck up by the way you nodded, but you weren’t exactly jumping to praise him in general.

“I don’t get a hello?” He attempts a greeting but it falls flat.

You roll your eyes. “Hi, Soonyoung,” You state halfheartedly, crossing your arms in protest.

“Hi. Does the food look alright?” He takes off his sunglasses and fixes his gaze on you.

“Yeah, I figured you’d be inept at setting up a date, so it’s surpassed my expectations already,” You give him a tight-lipped smile before sitting on the blanket. He attempts to ignore the way your dress hikes up slightly to expose your thigh. The sundress that you’re wearing seems to expose every detail of your body that he’s neglected to look at, but he snaps back into focus when he hears you clear your throat.

Once you both start eating, it’s clear how little you have in common with each other. Sure, he figured it’d be a little difficult to get to know you, but the lingering silence doesn’t exactly make him eager to strike up a conversation.

“How do you feel about all this?” You ask suddenly. It catches him so off guard that he chokes on the piece of fruit he was chewing.

He coughs, raising the attention of the nearby guards. You turn to them, giving a signal that he’s okay before turning around. “Damn, I didn’t think the question was that bad,” You laugh sadly.

“No, it’s fine. I just didn’t expect it.” He waves off any suspicion.

He takes a deep breath. “I mean, I’m not thrilled. I know the economic aspect of this is the most important thing, but my parents are practically dying to marry me off,” He reaches for a bottle of wine, grabbing a nearby glass before pouring himself something to drink.

“So I’m not the first?” You ask.

“Absolutely not,” He snickers. This relationship would mark the 5th time his parents have tried to set him up with a fellow royal. He has managed to sabotage all previous attempts on account of pissing his parents off.

The girls they set him up with were nice enough, but he had no chemistry with any of them. He felt like sparing them from a relationship full of misery by ruining it before it even started.

“So your parents figured you wouldn’t want to escape a marriage instead of just dating?” You attempt to clarify.

“Bingo,” He sips his wine before handing you the bottle.

“So, does that mean you’re gonna try to escape this?” You accept it and pour yourself a fuller glass, immediately taking a sip after asking the question.

“I think you’d be pretty fucked if I tried to do that. I’m not that much of an asshole,” He shakes his head and laughs it off. Since being hated by his parents was bad enough, Soonyoung didn’t want to become the center of an emerging geopolitical crisis.

It would fuck everyone over, especially you. He could at least admit to himself that you didn’t deserve that.

“That’s nice, I guess,” You smile halfheartedly at him.

“Don’t say I never did anything for you.” He speaks in an unusually flat tone before turning away to face the view of sprawling hills and seemingly endless mountaintops. The sight of the burgeoning nature surrounding the houses below him brought a sense of peace.

Before you asked, he hadn't given the entire arranged marriage process much thought. Sure, he knew that you’d be getting married relatively soon, but he had no idea how to present himself as a good partner. He didn’t exactly know how to move forward knowing that everyone expected him to fail.

“You really are a dickhead,” You mumble.

“You’re not exactly sweet as pie either. Everyone loves you, but you’re fucking miserable to be around.” He responds in a piercing tone.

“Well, if you get to be a cunt, then so should I. It’s not like I’m getting anything out of this,” You shoot back.

You were definitely worse off as an only child. Sure, he was the black sheep of the family, but he could get away with plenty of things as the youngest. His siblings were off impressing the world by ruling the country, getting PhDs, having a shit ton of kids, and generally being upstanding citizens.

However, it didn’t make sense for him to try that hard.

“Your country’s finances won’t go to shit, isn’t that enough?”

His question seems to bring out another layer of frustration for you. “No, I want a husband who gives two shits about me past my bra size, but apparently that’s wishful thinking,” You angrily bite into a strawberry and turn away from him.

“Look, we don’t have to do anything except pretend that we’re in love. So, let’s not do anything past that. Alright?” He proposes. Your face is unreadable, but the way you chew on the inside of your lip shows that he’d never get to know what’s eating away at you.

“Alright,” Your body language seems to retreat completely.

The mood of the date is different after that, and his request seems to render you both silent as you eat the rest of the food without interacting. The view of the countryside makes him wish that he didn’t have to deal with any of this, just live in a tiny house where no one had to remind him about his impending marriage.

—

The entire day leading up to the Youth Summit Ball left you feeling incredibly rattled.

You know the staff is perfectly capable of executing your vision for the ball as they've done year after year. It was one of your signature events as a royal, and its annual presence in Maritria brought much-needed attention to the country with the presence of young royals and its ever-popular red carpet.

Tonight, however, would be the first time Soonyoung is escorting you as a “longtime” boyfriend in public. You’ve been seen together in public, yes, but this is a public declaration that you are hypothetically in love with him. As a co-chair of the event, nothing could go wrong since many of your peers would be attending with their families.

Nothing could go wrong, thus you needed him to know the extent of your anxiety.

You heard a knock on the door, and you’re accepting them inside without a second thought.

“You wanted to see me?” He asks as he steps inside the dressing room.

You’re thrown by how handsome he looks. You argued with each other over text about what he should wear, he insisted that it didn’t matter. Yet, your color palettes were not to be betrayed. You internally thank yourself for persisting with a navy suit. It contrasted well with his platinum-blonde hair that seemed to attract as many eyes as possible while you were out in public together.

“Yes, I did. You need to behave tonight, I’m not risking anything because you want to get your dick wet,” You scoff.

“Trust me, I already got this little lecture from your mother. I’ll be fine.” He smirks at you, not doing much to quiet the anxiety that was starting to build in your stomach.

“Well, your girlfriend is telling you herself that I’m serious about this,” Your hands automatically move up to his shoulders, smoothing out the nonexistent creases on his jacket. It was still weird to call yourself his girlfriend, the word felt too stiff coming from your mouth.

“And I’m reluctantly listening,” He moves his hand to your bare shoulder, brushing something off with a few light sweeps. You opted to wear a black form fitting gown, the design was relatively simple but it was still eye-catching. You thought you noticed Soonyoung taking glances at you.

“Do you remember everything I told you about tonight?” You remind him.

“Why wouldn’t I remember, Y/N?” He gives you that “are you serious” kind of look and you’re starting to buckle under the pressure.

“I don’t know, maybe you’re nervous or something,” You turn away from him, peering into the mirror to check if there are any flaws with your makeup.

“I don’t get nervous about stuff like this. Are you nervous?” You see him approaching, but you put your focus immediately back on your face.

“What? No, stop, I’m fine,” You purse your lips to check your lipstick. He mimics you, pushing his lips out like a duck and it startles you.

“Those cheeks of yours are telling me otherwise,” He rubs a finger on your cheek and you slap it away almost immediately.

“Stop, Soonyoung, I’m serious. Let’s just get through the night.” You shoot him a warning look and he puts his hands up defensively.

“Okay, no funny business. I promise,” He smiles. It’s not enough to convince you, but your mind is too focused on creating a good outcome for the night that it’s fruitless trying to argue with him any further.

“Ready for a good time?” He offers his hand out to you, and you reluctantly accept it.

“It sounds bad when you say it.”

—

“You know, she said we should kiss just once to see what it’s like,” His voice was slightly slurred as if the alcohol was slowly taking possession of his words.

“You’re just tipsy,” You throw your purse across the living room and fumble to lock the door shut.

“No, you are, I saw you sneak two shots out of the kitchen,” He points with a shocked smile, “plus a few glasses of chardonnay. You’re not fooling me, princess.”

He was probably right, but that didn’t make it any better. “God forbid that I wanna drink at my own event. Why are you at my place right now?” You’re irritated at his presence almost constantly.

“You wanted me to do everything for you, remember? So you could just hop into bed with no worries,” He waves his arm into the air.

The event went well, accounting for your drunkenness and Soonyoung’s unpredictable nature.

“What are you waiting for then? Take my shoes off,” You flail your arms helplessly, your body is slowly slumping forward but Soonyoung catches you before you stumble.

“Okay, let's sit down, miss bossy. You’re ordering me around when I was a perfect boyfriend tonight,” He guides you to your couch, slowly easing you down onto the seat when you let out an audible sigh of relief.

“You were an average boyfriend who didn’t look stupid in front of paparazzi. Don’t feel too proud of yourself.” Your tolerance for his shenanigans was lower than usual now that you were drunk, and you didn’t feel bad about fighting back at him.

“All of this is extra credit,” He tries to reason himself out of the bare minimum.

“Taking care of me is not extra credit, it’s the standard. You’re supposed to be taking care of me for the rest of my life, not just right now. Idiot,” You roll your eyes and close them briefly before his voice forces you awake again.

“You’re so mean to me, your poor boyfriend is still learning what you like,” He finally takes off your heels and you let out a deep sigh of relief.

“Better?” He asks with a smile. You know that he wants to laugh at you so badly, but you’re too far gone to care.

“Much better,” You close your eyes for a moment before snapping again. “Take off my jewelry.”

He removes your earrings quite easily, but you still feel a bit flustered when he leans toward your ear to focus on undoing the clasps of your necklace.

He settles his face near your neck to fully remove your diamond necklace, he cradles it in his hand and you think you might go slightly insane. He places it on the coffee table gently and looks back at you with a smirk.

“What’s going on?” You pick up on his expression.

“Nothing, I’m gonna do your hair.” He turns your body so your back is facing him now. He’s sort of just feeling around for bobby pins, placing them down on the coffee table whenever he pulls another out. Once he takes out the decorative pins near the top of your head, your hair finally feels free.

“Soonyoung?” You ask suddenly.

“Hmm?” He’s organizing all the hairpins but takes a moment to look up at you.

“Do you think I’m pretty?” Your voice is a bit timid, nervous about how he might react. You would’ve contained yourself in any other circumstance, but now you just needed to head that you were worth complimenting.

“Where’s all this coming from, you’re just fishing for compliments now,” He shakes his head with a smile on his face.

“No, I’m not. It’s just-,” Your thoughts trail off, but Soonyoung catches your attention again with a gentle hand on your thigh. You don’t jump to move it away.

“Everybody was looking at us, but some people looked at us like I wasn’t meant to be with you. Is that true? Am I not pretty enough to be with you?” You feel increasingly insecure the more you elaborate. You didn’t think you’d feel this upset about it, but it meant your work was failing. You weren’t a believable couple and it was obvious to you now.

“Y/N, don’t say that. You’re beautiful,” His voice is noticeably softer.

“Not beautiful enough to sleep with. You wouldn’t sleep with me,” You rub your eyes with your hands and Soonyoung removes them from your face, laughing at the traces of makeup on the sides of your fingers. It seems like he still caught what you said though when he stops laughing.

“And that’s not the point. You’re just saying shit now, all of the guys in there would be lucky to even kiss you,” He insists. He stands up suddenly and walks toward your room. You assume he gets up to find makeup wipes, but you sit with his statement in the meantime.

You contemplate if you’d even want to kiss any of the royals who came to the party. You knew your standards were high and wondered if that would chase them off before they even had a chance to kiss you. He comes back and immediately wipes across your face the moment he sits down. His approach is slightly rough, but you couldn’t exactly get mad at him. He was just doing what you asked of him.

He’s analyzing if he got all of the makeup off when you speak up.

“But you’re not lucky?” You remark quietly.

That makes him clear his throat. You can even spot a hint of blush across his cheeks. It appears that you’ve riled him up slightly.

“I am lucky,” He lowers his head to rub the back of his neck with his hand, “You give me a run for my money.”

“Show me how lucky you are.” You continue to tempt him to see how he’ll react.

“I thought you wanted me to behave tonight?” He’s almost willing to act, but he still waits for your approval.

“I do, but she said we should kiss for practice,” You swallow lightly in anticipation. He rests his forehead against yours and you can hear his breath hitch in his throat.

You’ve been good, you’ve been so good all of your life. You don’t think you’ve done anything worth batting an eye at for your entire adolescence and young adulthood, but it was exhausting.

It was exhausting to be good, the voice of reason, the example of a perfect daughter to your country.

You weren’t in love with him, absolutely not.

Yet, the curiosity about what his lips tasted like made you want to be rebellious.

“I didn’t think you heard me.” He chuckled softly.

“I did,” You nodded your head against his. Soonyoung didn’t ask for permission to be bad, he just did it. That’s what runs through your brain when your lips meet his. Neither of you move for a moment and you’re afraid that you messed up.

That is until you feel Soonyoung’s hand cradling the back of your neck. He’s tilting into the kiss and you know he’s comfortable by the way his tongue slips into your mouth.

He tastes like tequila mostly, but there’s a hint of sweetness that you suspect comes from the dessert table at the party.

It feels so much better than you expected, now you know why girls couldn’t get enough of him. Even if it is just practice, he still took it far more seriously than you expected.

You haven’t had many kisses that were worth remembering, but this was something spectacular.

You know he’s kissed people far more times than you have, but there’s still a hesitant energy there that you can’t describe.

Did you make him nervous?

He pulls away first and it surprises you. He takes a deep breath and looks at you with tired eyes.

“Just a practice kiss, right?” He whispers.

“Just practice.” You affirm, pulling your head back. You’re not sure why it felt so disappointing to not have another kiss. You were sobering up which made the realization even worse.

“I’ll leave now before you kick me out.” He stands up from the couch and you don’t follow him. He makes it to the door and turns around.

“Don’t stay up all night reading thinking you can fight a hangover, go to bed.” He points at you with a teasing finger.

“Don’t lecture me, Kwon Soonyoung.” You stand up and walk toward your bedroom, ignoring whatever expression is on his face. You don’t look back until you hear the front door shut.

He didn’t say goodbye and that was probably for the best. You didn’t need any other memory from this part of the night to linger in your brain.

You rush back to the living room to lock the door again and sulk back to your bedroom. You eye the novel on your bedside table, you left it there earlier in the day to pick up whether you ended up drunk from the party or not.

Damn, he was good.

—

There were now multiple days, even weeks, between your shared schedules with him, and the more time that went by after the kiss only made you want to see him again.

Of course, he was friendly to you in public, and you were both able to handle public events with ease, but

the timing left you with many questions, and one stuck out in particular.

Why was he nervous to kiss you?

Today, he requested a private schedule for the two of you before he left Maritria early next week. There was a sneaking suspicion that it was the proposal since there wouldn’t be another reason for you to be alone.

He never wants to be left alone with you, it’s all about putting on an act for others that makes it so thrilling for him.

That’s what you try to tell yourself, at least.

“You’re here,” He eyes you carefully as you approach the entrance of the private garden. He’s surrounded by endless blooms, it’s almost suffocating how romantic it’s supposed to feel.

“I’m here because you want me here,” You offer quietly.

“Right, well I don’t want to waste any time. I’m sure my princess has lots of work to do today.”

On any other day, he’d be right, but the underlying suspicion of his true intentions made you want to linger.

He grabs your hand before you have another second to contemplate your feelings.

“I know that I’m not the person you wanted this to be from, but that’s how things have turned out. We both can’t get what we want, but I want to make this a good memory for us regardless of the situation.”

He gets down on one knee before asking. “So, Y/N, will you marry me?”

His hands held a small black velvet box and he quickly opened it to reveal a stunning oval shaped diamond ring. There are definitely more carats than you've ever seen on an engagement ring, and the gold band it sits upon feels equally regal.

It almost makes you sick from how ornate and gaudy it is, but it’s yours.

“You know this is the part where you say yes,” He clears his throat.

“Give me a second,” You mumble. You can’t see his glance, instead choosing to look at the ring. Everything else felt like a game before, but this was real.

He is proposing to you, offering a ring to you to signify a love that wasn’t actually real. That kind of sappy affectionate love you dreamed of would never come to fruition, possibly for the rest of your life.

It’s a realization that is entirely too bleak for the moment.

You’re meant to be happy, but if your parents were here they’d pick apart how long it took you to respond.

“Yes, I’ll marry you,” You force a smile onto your face to appease him. It doesn’t seem like he notices the pained expression within it, only offering a content sigh.

“Great.” He rises to his feet to place the ring on the appropriate finger. It feels like it’s all over now, you can imagine the rest of your future laid ahead of you on a set path.

The thought of taking constant publicity trips as a couple, having future heirs to the throne, and the idea of bringing him into Maritria’s lineage makes you wonder if you did everything you could to save yourself.

There is no out, just you, him, and the impenetrable distance between you both.

You wonder how a couple might build a life with an unstable foundation.

“Should we kiss?” His question brings you back to your senses.

“What?”

“For the camera, we should kiss.” He points to a photographer making themselves known from a nearby bush.

You swallow the lump in your throat and nod.

This is your duty, right?

You pull him close and kiss him, trying to ignite the small spark you felt when he was at your apartment.

Yet, the feeling doesn’t come and you pull away from him gently after a few moments.

“We just need some photos for social media and then you’re free to go.” The photographer reassures you with a kind tone.

You snap into professional mode in order to speed up the process. Your hand rests on his chest, angling it slightly to show off the ring. You force a smile, trying to indulge in the fantasy of it all. Once he gets a few shots of that pose, you turn back to look into Soonyoung’s eyes.

He was unfortunately quite handsome, it’s a shame that nothing else about him could make you happy.

“What are you thinking about?” His questioning pulls you out of your head once again, but you’re not sure what to tell him.

Being honest with him means making a sweet moment uncomfortable, and lying to him means letting your pain continue to simmer.

You go for the latter, to spare everyone a difficult moment. “Nothing. The ring is beautiful,” You shift the conversation with a quiet tone in order to deflect the topic off of you. He smiles widely, his face tells you that he didn’t expect you to like it one bit.

“I let my team take the reins with it since I don’t know you that well.” He responds so earnestly, and you’re not sure if he understands how hurtful that sounds.

You take it in stride though. “Well, it’s beautiful.”

He only nods and takes a moment to adjust his suit jacket.

You watch him brush over the fabric with his hands, wondering how in the world you ended up here. Even if things were different, fate would probably still bring you into Soonyoung’s orbit in another way.

Regardless, it’s enough to make you even more upset. Once the photographer is satisfied with the variety of shots, you’re about to leave when you feel Soonyoung’s hand touch your shoulder.

“Hey.” He turns your body to face him with his hand. You’re not sure how much longer you can stand in front of him without crying.

“We’re still on for this weekend, right?”

You can’t be bothered to remember what he means, but it’s best just to agree. It’s not like you had much of a choice.

“Yeah. I’ll see you then.” You nod at him before leaving. The moment you turn your back, you can’t hold back the stray tears falling onto your cheeks. You can only hope that he can’t hear your sniffling.

—

Now that the proposal news was officially out, your life had an even bigger microscope on it than usual. You’re used to being judged on a public scale, however, there were millions of people who were obsessed with Soonyoung that now wanted to know every single piece of information about his new fiancée.

Your Instagram posts and tweets had an influx of new activity that you could barely keep up with, and the new attention was starting to work into every corner of your life, even the time you spent with Soonyoung.

“Can you tell your fans to stop making video edits of me?” You stuff your phone into your jacket pocket in slight annoyance. You were genuinely trying to enjoy the private dates you had with Soonyoung, even if they were heavily guarded by staff. It was only right that you treated these outings as the dates they were, opportunities to get to know him better in order to connect with him that would hopefully prevent any issues further down the line.

Today, the location of the date was your choice and the staff had elected to leave you alone in light of the proposal news. Thus, you decide to take Soonyoung to a small beach on the outskirts of Maritria’s capital city. You’ve spent many days throughout your teenage years in your favorite spot, a cove in a hidden part of the beach. You figured that it’d be smart to let him in on a few things that you enjoyed, namely one of your most treasured spots in the country.

“That means they like you, and since when are you afraid of attention?” His interest is now piqued as he places his head in his hand to face you.

“Since always, I’m not exactly a Kwon Soonyoung-level attention whore,” You scoff.

“I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me,” He speaks in an exaggerated sad tone, accompanied by his pretending to cry. He turns his head to face you, sunglasses attempting to hide the goofiness peeking through.

“Still, I mean this is all a lot. I’m not exactly important enough to warrant 700,000 new followers.” You attempt to redirect the conversation.

As soon as the remark leaves your mouth, Soonyoung takes his sunglasses off. He looks at you with a confused glance, as if your self-deprecation was a personal attack on him.

“What are you talking about? You’re a princess and a genuinely nice one at that. That’s pretty hard to come by these days,” He compliments you. It pulls at your heartstrings very slightly, enough to absentmindedly check for a blush on your cheeks before snapping out of it.

“You wouldn’t know, you don’t see anything past the title before you sleep with these girls,” You attempt to defuse the response again, but he’s prepared.

“First of all, those days are behind me. I’m a proper engaged man now,” His thumb grazes your engagement ring and it sends a chill down your spine.

“And second, that statement is funny coming from someone who’s marrying me for financial stability,” He pokes your shoulder and you move to cover it.

“Correction, my country’s financial stability. You’ll have to get used to living here once we’re married,” You clarify.

“Who said we’re living in Maritria?” He argues instantly. You let out a sigh and try to understand the perspective he’s going to bring up.

“Soonyoung, wouldn’t it be smart to show how much the country’s condition would improve with you here?”

“Yes, but imagine being in Arinorin. The optics of giving you away to the country that saved yours seem pretty positive to me.” He suggests. While idealistic, the perspective is shortsighted. He didn’t necessarily have a shining future back in his home country considering his reputation and lack of communication with his parents.

“Even though you’ll never be king?” You didn’t mean for the question to sound so mean, but it’s true.

He was not the country’s future king, not unless there were dire circumstances that would force him into the position.

He scoffs. “Way to rub it in.” He looks into the distance, not acknowledging your glance anymore.

“I’m just saying. At least here, you’ll have the chance to have more of the public’s attention. There’s nothing to fight over, it’s just me,” You add sympathetically.

There’s a lingering silence that you don’t want to fill for the moment. You can tell he’s mulling over your words by the way he’s looking down at his hands, playing with his sunglasses idly.

“You know, you don’t have to stay there. Not to be that person, but if the idea of staying makes you feel worse, then what’s the point?” You soften your tone in an attempt to bring him back.

“You don’t know what it’s like,” He shakes his head resolutely. You feel your window of opportunity to try and comfort him closing rapidly.

“Ok, you’re right, but I’ve kept up with the news. I know a bit about how my future in-laws have treated you. You’ll be okay here,” You place a hand on his shoulder.

“I think they’ve wanted me to leave for a while, honestly. I’d go somewhere where they don’t have to think about me anymore.” He scratches the back of his neck before focusing on a small tidepool that sat directly below the both of you.

His statement is enough to now squeeze his shoulder, gently rubbing it to show your support.

“I’m sorry.” You offer quietly.

“It’s not your fault. I don’t think being a problem child fits me very well anymore.”

“You can reinvent yourself here if that sounds alright with you?” You offer and he laughs quietly.

He smirks. “I’ll think about it,” His slightly hopeful tone makes you feel at ease.

Any true affection toward him still feels too foreign, but verbal reassurance is a step you’re willing to take if it means your shared future is relatively peaceful.

—

The trips back and forth to each other’s countries were becoming a blur of wedding planning, being present at each other’s public engagements, and trying to get to know each other. It was becoming such a tedious process that any opportunity to rest was taken without hesitation.

The big plan for the current trip to Arinorin was to have a joint dinner with both of your immediate families.

You waited endlessly, but Soonyoung never showed up for dinner. It was embarrassing trying to subtly figure out where he was by going to the bathroom and frantically texting him. When that didn’t work, calls went unanswered until you were forced to give up and return to the table in defeat. He wasn’t answering and you were left to deal with two confused families on your own, attempting to answer questions that you had no answers to. Dinner eventually proceeded with an unyielding amount of attention on you, but thankfully, the rest of his family seemed to accept you.

Yet, it was ultimately embarrassing to attempt to cover his tracks and defend his actions throughout the night.

Thus, your post-dinner plans were to relax in your room and attempt to forget how wild the night had been. A knock on the door interrupted those plans almost immediately.

You open the door to see one of the guards that have been assigned to you since the arranged marriage proceedings had begun.

“Sorry to bother you, princess. I’ve just received word of a disturbance with the prince downstairs that needs your attention.” His tone was especially solemn, so you didn’t want to leave him waiting for long.

“Alright, I’ll be ready in a minute.” You nod at him and thank your lucky stars that you’ve already changed into more comfortable clothing.

With his assistance, you were soon traveling through the endless halls of the castle to find your fiancé. It wasn’t long before he came into view, sitting on a bench with his legs tucked up to his chest, arms wrapped around the front with his hands clasped tight. He was clearly drunk, sighing to himself before looking up.

“Y/N! Hi!” He exclaims, waving at you wildly.

“Fucking hell,” You exhale under your breath. You’re extremely grateful that he wasn’t out wandering the streets, clearly under careful watch by his guards.

“Can you give us a moment?” You look around at the surrounding guards. They nod curtly and dismiss themselves, retreating to a nearby room where they could still intervene quickly if needed.

You turn your attention back to him once the door closes. “Where were you?”

“I was out with Seungkwannie and, um, Seokmin. It was so much fun,” He laughed brightly, eyes almost disappearing from his smile.

“We were supposed to have dinner with our families. Remember?” You hold onto your curt tone.

He shakes his head immediately. “They didn’t wanna see me, they don’t care about me.”

You were starting to lose your patience. While you understood his hesitation to face his family, it wasn’t an excuse to leave you to navigate so many different dynamics on your own. This was supposed to show your families all of the efforts that had been made thus far, and there were plenty of efforts that were beginning to show naturally.

He had become more affectionate in public, it was less uncomfortable to smile at him and speak with each other kindly. It wasn’t real, obviously not, but unsuspecting eyes wouldn’t have known any better.

You were almost visibly in love.

“How about how I feel, Soonyoung? I had to deal with everyone alone, deal with everything by myself. That was so hard for me, but you just ignored it and got drunk.” Your voice was tight, barely allowing yourself to feel anything besides anger.

“I’m sorry,” He sighs before running through his hair. He’s affected by it, as his posture starts to wilt like a dying plant.

“You should be. That hurt my feelings a lot,” You felt the intended venom of your words dissipate on your tongue until nothing was left.

What was the point in yelling when he wouldn’t remember any of it anyways?

Honestly, you were disappointed in him. You had earnestly tried to connect with him, and it finally felt like he was trying to do the same thing. Yet, he let you down. You didn’t ask for much of him and adjusted your expectations for him at every step of the way, but he couldn’t do it.

He couldn’t be better for you.

“Was being selfish,” His pout seems to get deeper somehow.

“Yeah, you were,” You whisper. You finally take a seat next to him on the bench, taking a deep breath. The silence between the two of you almost felt labored, as if the air held all of the emotions you were both feeling at once.

You shouldn’t be babysitting your fiancé like this, that much was true. If he couldn’t even attend a family dinner, what did that mean for the marriage?

“You don’t have to worry about the wedding. I’ll take care of everything,” You mutter quietly.

“What?” He sits up in surprise.

“I can’t trust you, Soonyoung. You don’t care about this and you clearly don’t care about me, so why would I let you plan any part of this?”

“I can try, just let me try,” He pleads quietly. You can feel the desperation in his tone, but you can’t budge.

“I’ve let you try and this is what happens. I don’t know if this is how you picture our marriage, but if this is it then consider us strangers. I can’t do this, not like this.” You can’t look at him as you stand up.

Your body goes into autopilot as you knock on the door where the guards are stationed, letting them out so you can both separate for the night. You gently request for him to be taken home before starting the journey back to your room, wiping away tears that welled up in your eyes without a second thought.

You hear him calling your name, but what point is there in turning around? You didn’t have the energy for drunk pleas and broken promises anymore.

If you couldn’t stop everything and everyone from falling apart, you could at least try to protect yourself from the wreckage.

—

For the first time, Soonyoung hadn’t been able to stop thinking about you.

It never felt good to be ignored by anyone, but getting ignored by you? It had to be a new kind of pain.

Despite his unbothered facade, he didn’t mind your company at all. He quite enjoyed your little quirks, small things that other people probably wouldn’t notice.

In the chaos of your intertwined schedules, there were moments where he’d just look at you to take in your features for himself, and not anyone else.

He loved seeing how peaceful you looked while you slept during flights or the way your cheeks lifted when you smiled. Since he couldn’t have you to himself often, he could hold solace in the smaller moments.

Admittedly, he had been in love with you for a while now, and he could pinpoint the exact moment when he realized it.

He mentioned to you offhandedly that he’d lost a beloved stuffed tiger toy as a kid, but he’d accepted the loss and attempted to move on. He didn’t think you’d remember the anecdote, much less do anything about it.

Yet, you handed him a silver gift bag while on a flight with him.

When he unwrapped the tissue paper to the sight of the exact make of the tiger he had, his heart momentarily stilled in awe.

“I found the original manufacturer and they still make them. The certain model you had is a collector’s item now, so it took a little while to find but it wasn’t impossible.” You explained everything calmly, your hand propped your head up on the armrest of your seat. You lazily smiled at him as he admired it in his hands.

“This is very kind of you, thank you,” He couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face.

His parents hadn’t thought of trying to replace it for him after all these years, and he surely didn’t expect it from you. The gesture is just so romantic, even if you just wanted to write it off as simply a nice thing to do.

He didn’t cry until he was alone after the day’s activities were finished, realizing just how important it was to him. You were so nice, much nicer than he deserved from his future wife given his standoffish behavior.

There was no reason why he couldn’t confess his true feelings to you at this point. The wedding was fast approaching, sooner than he’d like to admit.

Details about the ceremony were quickly ironed out between your shared staff before he could think twice about asking, and you held to your word that he wasn’t allowed to get involved in wedding planning.

He didn’t remember much from the night you found him drunk, but it was clear that wedding planning was off-limits and you were extremely wary of being alone with him. Thus, he had to make his apology meaningful, and he couldn’t wait until after the wedding. He was determined to mend the relationship before you walked down the aisle.

He started by sending you various bouquets, all carefully chosen by him.

That was a kind gesture, right?

He thought so until he saw you throwing one of the bouquets into a dumpster from afar.

All of his apologetic texts to you were swiftly ignored as well, forcing him to switch gears completely. It was clear that you were subtly hinting at an in-person apology, which was daunting but not impossible for him to do.

He hadn’t been back to your apartment since the night of the Youth Summit Ball, a major oversight on his part. Yet, he figured there was no better time than the present to start taking things more seriously.

He held the bouquet of white and red carnations tightly in his hand, fingers playing gently with the paper wrapping as he sat in his car.

He was optimistic that the rain would hold out until he was hopefully let into your apartment. Yet, he ignored the raindrops periodically hitting his raincoat as he walked up the stairs to your brownstone.

The moment he knocked on the door, it was as if the universe decided to fuck him over. The occasional raindrops turned into a full downpour, and he scrambled to figure out what to do with himself. There wasn’t any awning to hide under, so he attempted to conceal the flowers from the rain, unzipping his jacket enough to sit the damp bouquet on his chest before zipping it up again.

It felt like a lifetime before you opened the door, and the sight of you rendered him speechless.

This was the first time in so long that he was facing his fear of resolving the neverending conflicts in his life.

“Hi.” He smiles despite your unreadable expression.

“Hi,” You were confused, rightfully so. After passive-aggressively sending indirect apologies, he decided to skip everything else and just show up.

“Are you busy?”

“No, but I don’t think I have a choice,” You move to the side so that he can enter your apartment. He takes the cue and makes himself comfortable in the living room.

“These are for you.” He hands the flowers to you, and the hesitancy is clear on your face.

“You aren’t giving up on the flowers, are you?” You ask with a judgmental tone. He doesn’t feel completely deterred when you place them on the dining table instead of throwing them out.

“Well, these are your favorite.”

“This doesn’t bail you out, you know.” You give him a knowing look.

He sighs, steadying his breath before speaking. “I know, and you deserve an apology for everything.” When he notices that you're focusing intently on his words, he feels confident about continuing.

“I know that I’ve made you feel isolated, and I’m truly sorry for that. I don’t want you to feel like you’re alone in this, and I want to make this marriage work. You deserve to marry someone who’s willing to admit their mistakes and grow with you. I’m ready to be that person if you want me.” By the time he finishes, he knows that he was completely honest with you. He’s wanted to be upfront with you for so long, but it wouldn’t have been worth it if he didn’t express himself properly.

You let out a contemplative sigh. He could tell that you didn’t want to reject him, it’s as if your face was processing his statement just as swiftly as your brain.

“As much as I appreciate this, I don’t want to be in a loveless marriage.” You said.

He swallows lightly, but he’s still understanding of your perspective. He knew that he had to lay everything out for you before it was too late.

“Who said it was loveless?” He says.

“What?”

The revelation seems to catch you off guard, but it's not surprising to him. Soonyoung is a happy-go-lucky kind of guy, and this kind of confession feels completely out of his emotional range.

“I love you, and I should've told you sooner. I regret not proving that you could trust me, and you have every right to not have any faith in me.” He walks toward you, internally pleading that the lack of distance will help you change your mind.

“I do have the right,” You mutter under your breath with a chuckle. He lifts your chin slightly with his finger, forcing your eyes to meet his again.

“I will prove to you every day for the rest of my life that I love you.” His eyes are completely sincere, showing that he’s willing to provide the romance that you’ve been grasping for. He can tell that you can’t let him in this easily, he has to earn you completely.

“Every day?” You question him.

“Every single day,” He reiterates. He means it too, his mind was already thinking of dozens of ways that he could start making it up to you.

“That’s pretty tempting, honestly.” You tilt your head in curiosity.

“Anything holding you back?”

“I don’t think so. You just can’t keep coming into my apartment soaking wet anymore,” You scrunch your nose at his appearance and gently tousle his hair, earning a giggle from him.

“That wasn’t planned. It was pretty romantic though, right?” He can’t fight the smile that spreads across his face as he asks.

“A little bit. I forgive you, by the way,” You admit.

He exhales and runs a hand through his hair with shaky confidence. He couldn’t be certain of your decision, so the relief he feels at your words is palpable.

“Does that mean I get to see all the spreadsheets about the wedding now?” He knew he was testing his luck by asking, especially because the process had been under lock and key even before restricting his access to wedding-related documents.

“Yeah, it’ll take some stress off my back. It’s giving me headaches just thinking about everything coming together,” You rub your forehead and close your eyes for a moment before looking back at him.

“You’ve been stressed like this and you haven’t told me?” He frowns.

“I was mad at you, so all my other feelings just kept building up. I’m sorry,” You shake your head, immediately covering your face with your hands. He pries them off just as quickly, pressing a kiss to the palm of your hand.

“It’s okay, love. I am more than willing to help you, I promise,” He nods eagerly with a grin.

“Okay. I like that name, you know,” You finally crack a smile and his own smile widens.

“Figured you would.” He’s leaned closer to your face, but there’s enough space to move away in case you reject him. “Can I kiss you?” He asks gently.

“Please,” You whisper.

It’s all he needs to complete the distance between your lips and the feeling of you is almost overwhelmingly beautiful. He’s so lucky at this moment, feeling your hands push his head deeper into the kiss. He was too cautious last time, but now he’ll never take another kiss of yours for granted, not when it feels this good.

He would do anything to make sure you felt loved and cared for, no matter how long it took to earn your full trust.

—

“I just need a moment alone, if that’s alright?” The question comes out a bit shakier than you imagined, but you can’t seem to quiet your nerves. Your wedding day has already taken you on an emotional rollercoaster despite not going down the aisle yet.

As you view yourself in the gown that you meticulously picked out along with the detailed hair and makeup that took hours to complete, nothing looks out of place.

Yet, your heart feels unanchored.

Your relationship with Soonyoung was getting better every day, but it seems like it was all going a little too well. Even though your relationship was transforming from a state of emergency into a promising romance, it was all catching up to you at the moment. Your mutual efforts to improve your relationship had been fruitful, giving you both the confidence to get married without feeling insecure.

You wouldn’t regret it, right? You needed to be certain that you wouldn’t.

“Of course, Princess.” Your head staff member agrees without question before exiting the room along with a few team members who were assisting you for the past few hours.

Your brain can only think of him. The tradition of spending the night before the wedding apart from each other felt more like torture than anything else, as you’ve come to appreciate his comforting presence next to you. In the last few weeks leading up to the wedding, he’s made such a genuine effort to intertwine your lives together that spending time apart felt futile.

A knock on the door breaks you out of your trance. Before you can ask who’s there, Soonyoung’s voice fills the silence.

“Is it a bad time?” His voice makes your heart flutter before you can even look at him.

“You can’t see me before the wedding, it’s bad luck,” You attempt to fight the smile on your face but you don’t allow yourself to look at him.

“Even if my bride has cold feet?” He presses on, his footsteps quietly approaching you.

You turn to reveal yourself to him and his face lights up.

“They’re not cold, they’re lukewarm,” You smile coyly at him. He grabs your hands and scans your body with wondrous eyes, his gaze seeming to land on every detail of the dress before meeting your eyes again.

“You look so,” His voice trails off. You’re sure that you can read his mind, he’s practically grinning from ear to ear. It makes you feel a bit shy, you can feel your cheeks heat up from his complimentary words.

“You’re really inflating my ego here,” You shake your head gently, but the feeling of his hand grazing your cheek pulls your gaze to him. Despite your best efforts, it’s still hard to fight the inner voice that tells you that he doesn’t mean it, that he’s only saying it because it’s something you want to hear.

Yet, his responses are just unflinchingly earnest that it makes you wonder why you ever felt that way in the first place.

“You just look so stunning,” His voice begins to shake before he clears his throat, “I just can’t believe that you’re mine.”

You were certain that you’d never seen that much sincerity in his eyes up until now, but it started to quiet the lingering fears that still sat in the pit of your stomach. He was absolutely smitten with you, to the point where his smile didn’t go away while you were talking to him.

“You can’t cry yet, you have to save it for the cameras.” You chuckle in an effort to push away his tears, but his eyes were still glossy.

“I can’t help it. You’ve worked really hard on all of this and it’s coming together so well,” He sighs with content. Honestly, you needed to hear that it was all worth it, especially from him. Although he’d been offering reassurance more often than not, the sentiment felt different knowing that you were minutes away from getting married.

“I wanna kiss you so badly, but I can’t fuck up my makeup.” You pout. He instinctively places his hands on your shoulders, moving them up and down to make you feel grounded with his touch.

“We can kiss, you know. There are no rules to any of this.” He attempts to get you out of your tradition-focused mindset with a low tone. You do want to indulge him though, considering that this was the first time you'd been alone with him all morning.

“Just go below the mouth.” You nod and he smirks, immediately placing his lips on your jaw to see how you’d react. It pulls a soft moan from your throat, and your reaction encourages him to go down your neck, leaving kisses wherever his lips can find skin. You started to let go of the responsibilities lingering over your head and focus on your fiance’s tongue leaving open-mouth kisses on your cleavage.

He’s practically doing everything but undressing you and his eagerness makes it harder to pull away, but you have to.

“Babe,” You whisper.

“Hmm?”

“Later,” You have to hold onto your resolve or else you’ll give in, and you can’t let your first time be in a dressing room.

“Later?” His eyes perk up like an excited puppy. The implication of the consummation of your marriage feels daring, it will serve as the reward after dealing with the decadent fanfare of the day.

“Yes, later. I promise.” You nod and he somehow looks even happier than before he walked in. He focuses on your lips but leaves a kiss on your cheek instead.

“I’ll see you out there, okay?” He presses one last kiss to your palm before heading towards the door.

“Okay,” You wave him off and watch him disappear with a smile on your face.

It’s clear that you don’t have anything to worry about.

—

“You’re sure that you don’t wanna come in with me?” Soonyoung calls from the pool.

“Yeah,” You nod with a hand placed above your eyes, acting as a sun visor since you couldn’t find a hat to put on.

You were two days into your honeymoon, tucked away at a small island resort that mostly isolated you from the outside world.

The wedding had thankfully gone far better than you could have imagined. He stopped you multiple times throughout the reception to tell you how beautiful it was, how happy he was to be in the moment with you, and how well you planned it all. It was a day that felt sun-soaked, enveloped in a love that was starting to soften and lose the sharp edges that had restrained it before.

Despite all of the kind attention from family and friends throughout the day, it was evened out with the constant presence of staff and castle officials that made it all a bit overwhelming.

Thankfully, the honeymoon began the next day and you’d have to force all responsibilities out of your head for the next week.

“You’re thinking about something, probably too many things,” He assumes correctly.

You scoff and turn away for a moment before facing him again. “You can’t be this good at analyzing me, we’ve only been married for less than a week.”

He laughs before swimming closer to the edge of the pool to meet you. “That’s my job, angel.”

“But you’re right, I am thinking too much about you moving in and all the press stuff we have to do,” You’re rubbing at your temples just thinking about how much effort it’s all going to take.

“Hey, look at me.” He calls out softly. You reluctantly place your hands at your sides, trying to take in his words.

“You’ll have plenty of time to worry about this, but this is the only time you’ll be on your honeymoon. Hopefully,” He shows his teeth and it succeeds in making you laugh. He smiles back at you before continuing.

“So maybe we can swim together if you’d like?” He tries again, knowing you’ll say yes. You take one last sigh and nod.

“Yeah, just give me a second.” You take your coverup off to reveal a solid black bikini he hadn’t seen yet. You discard the coverup on a nearby chair before turning to face him.

He eyes you for a moment before you clear your throat. “Slow down, loverboy, we’re supposed to be swimming!”

“Just admiring how beautiful my wife is, that’s all,” He bites back a smile but ultimately lets it show. You walk down the pool stairs until you’re swimming next to him. He only stares at you for a second before pulling you in for a kiss.

You’re caught off guard, letting out a small squeak when his tongue slides into your mouth but you give in to the feeling soon enough. You let your fingers card through the back of his hair, pushing yourself further into the kiss. You feel his hands wander across your ass and you let out a moan.

“Just wanted me in here so you could fuck me?” You whisper, finally pulling away from the kiss to catch your breath.

“You caught me,” He whispers back and proceeds to kiss down your neck, not hesitating to leave marks that force moans out of your throat.

“For fuck’s sake,” You sigh. You didn’t need to have control right now, you didn’t want it when he was making you feel this good just by kissing you. You thank your lucky stars that the vacation house is somewhat isolated because you can’t pretend to hold back the noises you’re making.

He picks up on this and presses his erection against your thigh, causing you to hold your breath. “Where do you want me, sweetheart?” He asks quietly. Your train of thought can’t even start because he’s staring right at you, brushing his thumb against your lip.

“Chairs,” You mutter. He bites his lip and turns to look at the unoccupied beach chairs lined up near the sliding glass door that leads back into the house.

“Okay,” He nods. He leads you back to the pool stairs before taking your hand and helping you out of the water. You both don’t think about drying off before he sits you down onto the chair, pulling off your bikini bottom without a second thought. You watch him with spread legs, taking in the sight of his glistening chest and abs. He seemed just as eager as you, taking off his swim trunks in the blink of an eye. The sight of his cock makes your head spin, so you force yourself to make eye contact with him.

“Are you okay, baby?” He asks earnestly. He must not know how hot he is because you’re rendered speechless. His freshly dyed black hair is slightly spiky, and it doesn’t help when he runs his hand through it. It all just goes to your clit, and you’re certain that the pressure will make you explode.

“Yeah, I’m good,” You force your mouth into a smile to replace the incredulous look on your face. He nods and settles into the space between your legs, quickly spreading hands across your thighs.

“Have I told you how pretty you look today?” His eyes are practically dripping with lust, but you want to let him know that the feeling is mutual.

“Yeah, maybe for the 100th time today, but you look even prettier,” Your compliment comes out a bit shy, but it still makes his eyes light up.

“I don’t think that’s possible,” He lets his thumb graze your clit and you whimper. He lingers there for a few more moments before dragging two fingers down your entrance. He ponders for a moment before pushing inside, and the new sensation makes you cry out. The angled position of the chair makes his movements feel even more powerful, and his fingers gliding against your tight walls already have you in shambles.

“It’s not possible because you’re the prettiest person in the world, and I get all your cute noises to myself, right?” His question makes the coil in your stomach harder to ignore.

“Yeah,” You moan. He leans in for a kiss, capturing your lips easily while thrusting his fingers even deeper. How does he know your body like this? Sure, you’ve made out a few times but he's never touched you like this before.

Maybe it’s the anticipation that’s causing him to show out like this, he’s trying to impress you because of how long you’ve had to wait for this. You let your arms drape behind his neck for a moment before clutching onto his back.

You hear him moan from the scratches you leave on the expanse of his back, you savor the noises as they start to blend in with your moans.

“Gonna cum,” You breathe into his ear. He can tell how tense you are around him, and your eyes are becoming frantic from the impending pleasure.

“Just relax baby, take a deep breath, and let go for me. I know you can do it,” His encouragement lets you cum immediately, arching your back off the chair with a soft grunt escaping your lips. Your orgasm washes over you all at once and his fingers only slow down a bit, allowing you to feel every single bit of pleasure that he could pull out of you.

You take a few deep breaths and focus on his eyes once again. You start to register his face again as he strokes your cheek. “Are you ok? Are you up for more?” He asks hesitantly.

“Yeah, I just didn’t think you’d get me like this so early, that’s all.” You cover your eyes with your hands for a moment before looking at him again. He has you so shy that you can barely look at him. It’s hard to admit to yourself that you haven’t cum like that in a very long time, but if he’s making you feel like this so early on into the marriage, you don’t think you’ll ever be disappointed.

“Well, that’s good. I just wanna take care of you,” He reassures you sweetly. His eyes are so full of love that it makes your heart pound, swallowing in anticipation.

He meant it when he said he’d take care of you, he had barely let you do anything for yourself since you arrived at the vacation house. It was so adorable that you didn’t have the heart to stop him. It was nice to let him live up to his promise of showing his love for you instead of constantly feeling distrustful of his actions.

Of course, there would eventually be moments where you’d disagree or argue with each other, but it wouldn’t be out of spite like before. You’re lost in thought until he presses a kiss to your cheek.

“Where’d you go, pretty?” He whispers, his face now a few inches away from yours. It somehow makes you even more flustered than before.

“Just thinking about how much I love you,” You admit with a smile. His eyes widen at the confession and you burst into a fit of giggles.

“You love me?” He asks in surprise.

“I love you.” You state it confidently. You mean it too, and it feels so easy to express it to him. You knew you loved him since the wedding, he cried at the sight of you walking down the aisle and it helped you realize his sincerity. He seems to let the words settle into the air before giving you a response.

“I love you too. It feels good to say that,” He laughs at his own confession. With a mutual confession out in the open, the air somehow feels lighter.

“Can I show you how much I love you by fucking you properly?” He asks. You can only laugh and nod your head at how sweet it is.

“Not out here though. I need you in bed right now!” He exclaims, sweeping you up into a bridal style hold. You let out a scream before bursting into laughter, you can only let yourself get carried back into the house without protest.

----

“Fuck, right there, please,” You whimper, eyes screwed shut. The feeling of his cock stuffed inside you was indescribably good, it was nearly enough to make you cry. Once he got you on the bed, he wasted no time filling you up and easily pulled moans out of your throat.

He pressed your legs up to your chest, making sure that he was completely inside of you. You quickly learned that your husband had incredible stamina, and you were definitely gonna cum again sooner rather than later.

“You’re so good for me, my love. You don’t know how many times I’ve thought of having you like this,” He whispers in your ear. The sound of his balls slapping against your skin brought something primal out of you, you just want to suck him inside of your walls even deeper. You were barely holding on, but he kept pushing you even closer to the edge.

He leaned down to leave marks in the crook of your neck, leaving a hand free to fondle your breast. It was as if he combined every possible move just to drive you insane and it was working.

“Gonna cum for me, sweetheart?” His voice is laced with something even deeper than lust, it almost felt demonic the way he asked you.

“Yes, please let me cum, please,” The words spilled out of your mouth, your voice was shaking along with your body. He was practically rocking you back and forth with the impact of his cock, hitting that particular spot deeper every time.

“Go on, then. Cum for daddy,” He grants you permission. The nickname makes you flood his cock, screaming again as your orgasm takes over you. He pulls out in time for you to squirt on his cock, leaving you even more surprised than before.

“Holy shit,” You whimper. He looks so pleased with himself, but also shocked that he was able to push you that far.

He lets you both recover for a few minutes, but you know he hasn’t cum yet. “I’m kinda close, baby, is it alright if I-?” He asks, but you don’t let him finish.

“Of course. I already miss your cock, to be honest,” You let yourself smile and his eyes are already blown wide by your response.

“You’re insane, you know that?”

“You made me like this,” You hit his arm playfully. He slides his cock into you again slowly and he watches your mouth fall open slightly at the sensation.

“I did,” He smirks at you, relishing the sight of how fucked out you look just from him staying still.

He picks up the pace, trying to focus on getting himself there. It didn’t seem like it’d take much just from how intensely he looked at you.

“Gonna let me cum inside you, baby? Should I get you pregnant like this?” His questions felt sinful in your ears, but you were too gone to care. You felt pressure building just from that, and the thought of him breeding you felt exciting.

“Yes, please, I want it,” You whine. He felt so deep that you could feel it from your head to your toes. Every single part of you felt overwhelmed by his cock and his relentless pace.

“Good girl, daddy wants to fuck you like this all the time,” He moves to kiss you sloppily, but it still feels heavenly to have him in your mouth. It wasn’t much longer before you felt his body tense beneath you.

“Are you close?” You ask breathily.

“Yeah,” He grunts. He grabs your hips and fucks into you even harder than you remember, the pain radiating from your thighs forces a tear out of your eye but you know it’s helping. He doesn’t warn you before he cums, and the sudden warmth inside of you makes you moan louder than you expect. He finally falls beside you and lets you both recover for a few minutes in silence. You could easily fall asleep like this, both of you laying haphazardly under the covers while his breathing steadies your own.

“Y/N?” He calls your name and it startles you. You struggle to keep your eyes open at the sound of his voice.

“Oh no, I scared you,” His voice is much quieter than before, lulling you back into a state of calmness.

“No, I’m okay, I promise,” You turn to face him, rubbing your eyes gently.

“Ok good. We’ve gotta clean up now, alright?” He softens the blow of the question by kissing your forehead. It still feels foreign to let him take care of you, but when you see how gentle he is, you don’t feel the urge to take control.

It’s enough to watch him go through your suitcase, observing how his eyebrows furrow while trying to decide what shirt you might want to wear.

You decided that he didn’t have to prove anything else to you, ultimately, you could see how pure his heart was, and it would be doing both of you a disservice to let assumptions of character control the course of your relationship.

You’re attentive enough to follow his cues while he’s dressing you or helping you up to the bathroom, but your mind is consumed by him.

“Doing okay, love?” His question pulls your head toward him. You adjust your posture in bed as he approaches you, climbing into the bed beside you.

“Better now that you’re back,” You hum lowly, leaning your head onto his shoulder. You take a deep breath, taking in the feeling of his skin against yours.

His body vibrates as he chuckles. “I’m glad you’re alright. I was thinking about something while we were in the bathroom,” He leans into your touch slightly, enough to make your eyes flutter shut.

“What’s up?” You accept his inquiry.

“I think we should take the kids here one day when they’re old enough,” He explains it as if it’s fate, and you can’t help but smile at the thought of him being certain that your shared future is meant to expand in so many different ways. You can’t picture yourself being pregnant for a long while, but the idea of building a family with him feels right to think about.

“We’ve fucked once and you’re thinking about our kids,” You tease him in a lighthearted tone, but you hear his nervous laughter.

“It’s just a thought,” He waves his hand gently.

“It’s a very nice thought, you’re really sweet,” You finally raise your head to look at him. You let your hand caress his cheek before kissing him gently. He accepts you immediately, and you let yourself linger on his lips for a few moments before pulling away to look at him.

He searches your eyes, focused on figuring out what you’re meant to tell him. You can’t think of anything profound to tell him, any extravagant sentimentalities you might’ve conjured up don’t make their way out onto your lips.

“I love you,” You whisper. Your feelings are buried too deep to let them all out now, but it’s enough to tell him this. You feel the pressure in your chest lessen the moment he smiles back at you.

“I love you so much,” He mumbles the words against your lips before kissing you, love seemed to radiate from his lips the way he was holding you against him. The day unfolded into the evening, time passing languidly as you were enamored with each other.

As you fell asleep with him holding onto your waist, you realized that sweetness had made its way into your life before your very eyes. The limitless potential between the two of you no longer strikes fear into your heart, but instead sustains you in new ways.

There would be time to flesh out the dynamics of your relationship, determining how you’d show up for each other in loud and unspoken ways, but the present feeling of safety that sat in your chest was enough.

Neither of you was perfect, but the act of showing up and being willing to grow with each other was enough.

You are both trying, and that is more than enough.

#svthub #hoshi smut #hoshi fic #soonyoung smut #soonyoung x reader #svt x reader #svt smut #svt angst #hoshi angst #AHHHH y’all have no idea how long I’ve been working on this #but I’m finally free thank god

[evilwickedme]

Top 10 worst Bruce dad moments?

So here's the thing. I'm not actually like. That well versed in the comics yet? Again like. Only been here for about six months. But I'll do my best anyway

10. Firing Dick

HE FIRED DICK FROM BEING ROBIN. THE NICKNAME HIS MOTHER GAVE HIM. THEN GAVE SAID NICKNAME TO ANOTHER CHILD. WHAT THE FUCK.

9. Steph as Robin

Honestly everything about this is a mess. I've only read a few pages from this arc but Tim quitting being Robin was a really difficult decision and Bruce's response was to give the job to Tim's sort-of-ex girlfriend and then treat her like crap. I believe it's canonically cause she reminded him too much of Jason, but that might just be the fandom's reading of the subtext; either way, if the shoe fits...

8. Telling Damian if he was there, Alfred wouldn't have died

What the FUCK, Bruce, that is your SON. COMFORT HIM FOR THE LOSS OF HIS GRANDFATHER

7. Robin!Tim in general

Listen intentional or not Tim is written as a character that has very much internalized needing to be useful being more important than anything else. His parents simply prioritize work over him point blank - his dad doesn't even remember his birthday, for God's sake - and Bruce simply like. Does not help with this. If anything he takes advantage of it. Tim needs to be loved unconditionally, like, STAT, like, that would fix 70% of his identity issues kinda STAT, and I'm not sure he's ever felt that with Bruce

6. Free space: any time he's hit one of his children that I don't know about

I once reblogged a post that detailed every time he hit Dick but that's long gone into the ether now, I can't find it. Anyway there's no excuse to hit your child. Don't fucking do it. They shouldn't hit you, either, doesn't make it ok for you to do if they've done it fyi. Batman can do non violent solutions, we know this, so fucking use those on your children.

5. Reviving the joker

I believe Dick isn't necessarily mad about not having murdered a man basically in cold blood, but I am. What the fuck, Bruce. You tried to kill him twice, you really wanna tell me you don't understand the urge and NEED to kill him??? And then you BRING HIM BACK TO LIFE??? Again. As I've said. What the FUCK

4. Killing Dick and sending him off to Spyral

Actually Dick shouldn't ever forgive Bruce for anything he's ever done to him ever. Have you seen the panels where they have this argument? His family GRIEVES him and for what!!!! For WHAT

(I understand Grayson itself is actually great I wouldn't know I haven't read it. Doesn't make what Bruce did okay tho. I'm also not sure I trust the positive reviews it's written by Tim Seeley and Tom King like......)

3. RHatO Rebirth #25

Penguin didn't fucking die. He didn't get shot in the face with a real bullet. You don't beat your son half to death to the point where he needs to be RESCUED from you - actually no need to qualify that sentence with the intended "over something that didn't actually happen", you simply don't beat your son half to death, should be a no brainer and YET

2. UTRH end scene

Heartbreaking. We all know at this point. Batarang to the throat. Chooses the Joker over Jason. It's enough to make a fully grown (25 next month) man (eh) cry (I mean. Yeah)

1. INTENTIONALLY TRIGGERING JASON

See here for the ask where I talked about this (and which is presumably the ask that led to this anon). Taking Jason to Ethiopia with no warning when he's cooperating anyway just to intentionally trigger him in order to try to get Damian back to life when you never did anything like that for Jason? Holy fucking shit, you know? Just betrayal after betrayal after betrayal

Anyway I'm sure this list is missing some major moments and I'd love to know what I forgot about or, more likely, simply don't know about! I love a well written good dad!Bruce fic but lbr that's just not what he's like in canon. Calling him a mixed bag as a father figure is an understatement

#batfam #batman #bruce wayne #jason todd #dick grayson #tim drake #stephanie brown #damian wayne #utrh #rhato #dc #gail speaks #ask #anonymous #don't ask me what the top ten good dad moments are #I'll just list Bruce trying to kill the Joker in a death in the family ten times #dc meta

[phoenix-is-the-hottest-thing]

Hey a little psa for the new adult fandom folks from Twitter

If you don’t want minors to interact with your posts or some of your posts, “minors dni” in your bio isn’t going to be a good way to achieve that.

When seeing posts, people’s descriptions don’t show up unless you look for them. When a “minors dni” banner is on a post, it’s usually at the bottom, so the potential minor has already seen the content, and even if it’s at the top, they will have to scroll past it anyway.

Here are some solutions you can use that will actually achieve something:

Manually block any minor you find (very effective but time consuming. annoying for people who eventually age out of your dni.)

Say minors please block on the post itself (relies on the minors listening to you, can get old real fast, but at least it’ll actually be seen)

Tag posts you don’t want minors to interact with something consistent (doesn’t need to be nsfw; I’m just talking about anything you want them to know not to interact with). I use #lemons because I’ve been reading fic for way too long and I think it’s funny. (this relies on others filtering this tag themselves, thus giving them agency in the situation. That’s what I aim for but if you don’t want that, add another solution— just keep in mind some adults won’t want to see that content either, and maybe you’ll want to find those posts later yourself, so it’s good to do this regardless)

Tag the post #nsfw, which is probably going to do something weird like take it off search or automatically give it the mature community label. Pretty sure those posts are hidden from minors. (honestly they’ve changed it a bunch of times so try your luck or don’t.)

Use a readmore and warn for what you’re about to show above it. On mobile, type :readmore: and newline; on web, it has its insert button like photos or links, which is a squiggly line. (this is great for suggestive pictures or whatever else you wouldn’t want someone to catch a glimpse on while mindlessly scrolling. It doesn’t stop anyone from interacting though.)

Use community labels to signal mature content. This will automatically hide the post for minors, and allow adults to either also have it hidden (default), blur it, or leave it alone. This can be changed in your settings. Note that, even labeled, pictures of sex acts are still forbidden on tumblr due to the Apple Store and payment processors being run by puritans people who refuse to tolerate that kind of content in case they accidentally get caught up in sex trafficking. Twitter only got an exception because it was big enough that they thought it was more profitable to turn a blind eye. Tumblr is being made an example out of, having been threatened and taken off the app store over this. (In other words they did not remove nsfw content to bully creators. It was at gunpoint.) You will have to link this stuff while only showing a more sfw picture if you want to share this content, privatter style. I don’t think non previewed linked content is monitored so it should be ok??

There’s probably other ways I haven’t thought of. A combination is great!

Additionally, you can make a blog password protected (a priv, basically), post privately (only visible to you) and disable reblogs on a post (tagged people can still reblog I believe).

If other people find your post inappropriate, they can also submit it to be reviewed as mature content, and it’ll get forcibly labeled if tumblr rules they’re correct. As far as I know, unless it’s something that’s illegal, tumblr posts won’t get removed in any way— only the pictures tend to get replaced by “this picture was violating content policy”. Some blogs I believe can also get marked as mature? I’m not sure how that works.

So! Depending on what you need and want with your minor dni, you have a bunch of solutions to pick from, and by all means get creative if you can think of more.

Happy posting!

#honkai impact #hi3 #phoebe rambles #psa #twitter #tumblr

[profoundbondfanfic]

Final day with some of the favorite fics our followers sent us. Thank you guys once again for the support and for sending us your choices.

Next week we’ll self-reblog all the reviews with the fics that were featured during this celebration. Once that’s done we’ll go back to the usual schedule. Thank you!!

PART 5:

the cheapest room in the house by biggaybenny [Explicit, 89k words]

what if instead of a very sincere and earnest love confession dean just found out cas was gay? no confession, no god-jack endgame. just post-s15 stupidity. just dean being deranged. the dean downloads grindr for cas fic

the inexhaustible silence of houses by Askance (doomcountry) [Teen, 31k words]

Almost two years after the world doesn't end, Castiel falls from grace—and loses his voice in the process. It is the impetus for confession and change; before long, he is settling into a loving relationship with Dean, the Winchesters are tired, and hunting for a place to land has taken precedence to hunting anything else. Dean and Castiel fall in love with the strange little house on the end of Swallowtail Drive, and for a little while life is as it should be—sweet, affectionate, and beginning afresh. But more and more Castiel sees and hears things in the house that beg the question of whether or not a place itself can be alive. The walls and rooms seem to shift and grow and breathe, and one night, Dean comes home from a hunt changed in a way that Castiel cannot explain. In the months that follow, their domestic bliss takes turns for the dark and sour, and the confusion of their circumstances will ultimately test everything Castiel knows about the man he loves, and everything he believes to be true.

The Line Begins to Blur by Rosewhipped [Explicit, 128k words]

A Soulless Sam traps and attacks Castiel--Dean finds out. This story is coda until it isn't, because I realized I wanted the boys to have a happy ending. It follows season six plot/timeline for several chapters and incorporates quotes from actual episodes. Rape, rape aftermath, and recovery are explored. Eventual smut and even some fluffiness. Without a soul, Sam could see everything a little bit more clearly. Feelings no longer distracted him from goals. He was free to pursue anything without shame, guilt, or hesitation. He turned an analytical eye to all that lay before him, calmly calculating the movements and reactions of those around him to stay ahead of their thoughts and actions. He was always playing a role, acting through a scene, he had been for months and he was getting very good at it.

There Goes My Life by turningthepages [Mature, 54k words]

“It’s mine. The baby’s mine.” He never wanted to admit it, nor would he ever really forgive himself for thinking it, but at that moment, hearing those words, Dean felt like he could see all his plans for a happy future burning to ash right in front of him.

they're playing dido in the hospital gift shop by spocklee [Explicit, 16k words]

can't a guy just have a completely normal sex dream in peace without his formerly-dead best friend walking in?

Tilted Mercy by LittleAngelCassie [Explicit, 111k words]

The sins of the past never stay buried; Dean’s spent years trying to suppress the memories and nightmares that chase him relentlessly. The now 35-year-old Omega entered the BDSM lifestyle seeking penance for his crimes against humanity hoping to rectify all his wrongs through his own pain. After a particularly frightening encounter, Dean agrees to try a different approach to his self-atonement. Compassion was never in the cards until Castiel Novak showed up at his door, pushing Dean’s boundaries and forcing him to face this new reality that includes a possible future with the handsome alpha. Welcome to a new world twisting ABO and BDSM, where somewhere between retribution and redemption lies …Tilted Mercy.

Unintended by emwebb17 [Explicit, 82k words]

Castiel is a successful defense attorney beginning to doubt the integrity of the work he does. After winning a date with a firefighter named Dean at a charity auction, Cas decides that he needs to make a change in his life. He just has one more case to take care of, but his involvement has devastating consequences.

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4]

#500 followers celebration #favorite fics #group rec #submitted rec

[mppmaraudergirl]

I posted 2,013 times in 2022

1,284 posts created (64%)

729 posts reblogged (36%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@mppmaraudergirl

@theresthesnitch

@possessingtheproperspirit

@maraudersftw

@arianatwycross

I tagged 1,731 of my posts in 2022

Only 14% of my posts had no tags

#chasing life - 335 posts

#jily - 252 posts

#james potter - 200 posts

#lily evans - 188 posts

#the road back to you - 182 posts

#chasing life spoilers - 180 posts

#jily fic - 176 posts

#jily fanfic - 128 posts

#jple - 125 posts

#in retrograde - 114 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#otherwise i'll probably just start naming my fics after beatles songs that are completely irrelevant to the plot or just downright confusin

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

She thought things might be different after all this time. After all, she was a mature twenty-three, not some wide-eyed seventeen-year-old just starting to experience love. She was practically seasoned by now, having fallen into and out of love with reckless abandon in the years she didn’t have James Potter in her life. Why should his return cause such a stir in her heart?

***

And now, here she was. A vision in a traveling cloak as she entered Hogwarts castle, as vivid and beautiful as the day she left, he was certain. As heart-achingly beautiful as ever. How was he supposed to survive a whole year living in the castle with her again without falling back into the habit that felt a lot like being in love?

read on AO3 || 8.7k, rated M

134 notes - Posted October 1, 2022

#4

Lily needs a wedding date.

James happens to be free.

There is only one bed.

(You can guess how this story goes.)

Read on AO3 || 4.4k, rated M

146 notes - Posted May 11, 2022

#3

Summary: Lily Evans has been the star Chaser of the Holyhead Harpies for the past six seasons. Her career speaks for itself, an abundance of accolades proving her commitment to the game of Quidditch. The next challenge of her career? Chasing for England's World Cup team.

But it's not the spotlight or the pressure that challenges her the most. It’s the insufferable James Potter who she is forced to play alongside come hell or high water (or, as it turns out, instant, infuriating attraction).

His breath mingles with hers when he doesn't pull back immediately. Eyes still closed, he leans forward to kiss her once more with a hard press of his mouth over hers. "I've wanted to do that since the first time I met you, Evans."

She pretends warmth doesn't come in another wave at his words. "Kiss me?"

"Shut you up," he answers, a grin spreading across his face as he straightens again.

Read on AO3 || 16k, rated M

174 notes - Posted March 14, 2022

#2

Sometimes self-care is rereading your favorite fic and shouting aggressive praise at the author.

383 notes - Posted July 13, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

James Potter to Remus Lupin

479 notes - Posted August 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #ahahahahahahaha if this aint me #omg #the longest tag is sending me #also 180! cl spoiler tags!! that is wild... that is you guys engaging with me :')

[fayoftheforest]

I posted 2,276 times in 2022

That's 715 more posts than 2021!

97 posts created (4%)

2,179 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@croissants-andcoffee

@plugnuts

@jmax523

@whatdoessunshinetastelike

@fishtish

I tagged 1,260 of my posts in 2022

Only 45% of my posts had no tags

#south park - 57 posts

#ask - 43 posts

#fave - 27 posts

#ask game - 17 posts

#birthfay 🎂 - 14 posts

#sp kyle - 12 posts

#sp k2 - 11 posts

#writing - 10 posts

#headcanons - 10 posts

#south park fic - 10 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#also just realised the blurb i pasted here was from an old draft where the soulmate tag was on their arm not their chest 😳how embarrassing

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

man, it kind of bums me out how the majority of the time that kyle's jewishness is a focal point in fan content, it's for a negative reason. if kyle's contemplating the fact that he's jewish, it's because he's being bullied or harassed, because he's feeling insecure about his appearance or self worth, because he's feeling lonely and isolated, because he's having a crisis of faith, etc etc. these are all totally valid themes and character arcs to explore, of course! i think many jews like myself may be able to relate to these themes, thanks to living in a society where antisemitism and other shitty behaviour runs rampant. but i think we're really missing a golden opportunity to explore the complex and compelling positives of being jewish. where's his love for his community? where's his excitement for an upcoming holiday? where's the comfort he might take from prayers? where's his curiosity or knowledge about his family history? where's his passion for debating interpretations of the torah? these are also valid, relatable and in-character directions you could take things!

i know that this trend is probably heavily influenced by the presence of this pattern in the show itself, but it's still a bit sad. or maybe gentiles (non-jews) shy away from celebrating his jewishness because they don't feel confident in commenting on a religious experience that they've never had. to those people, I would ask, why is it you feel comfortable speculating on the hardships of being jewish, but not the joys?

that isn't to say that you're not allowed to write about the former if you're not jewish, of course! regardless of religious background, anyone can empathise with his struggles because, at the end of the day, we're all human, and it's our humanity that unites us. but i'd encourage you to push yourself out of your comfort zone, do a little research and have some fun celebrating and supporting his jewishness once and awhile :)

109 notes - Posted October 30, 2022

#4

today I am thinking about... fat tweek! and fat butters! and fat wendy and heidi! maybe throw a lil fat kyle in there too! I'm sick and tired of fatness being equated with immorality when it comes to south park (and the world in general tbh) and it makes me sad that so many people seem afraid of portraying any of the non-cartman characters as plus-sized. 'fat' is a neutral descriptor and not a dirty word, and displaying body diversity amongst the cast is not only realistic, but a wonderful and beautiful thing! so anyway reblog this and put in the tags which character(s) you've always headcanoned to be fat or not skinny :)

113 notes - Posted August 21, 2022

#3

STOP RIGHT THERE 🔫 THIS IS A STICK-UP 🔫 NOBODY SCROLLS ON UNTIL THEYVE WATCHED @roostertuftart 'S GLORIOUS VIDEO THEN REBLOGGED IT 🔫

142 notes - Posted August 29, 2022

#2

I'M ABSOLUTELY BLOODY LOSING IT OVER THESE VINTAGE SOUTH PARK MUGS I FOUND ONLINE

THE CAPTIONS. THEIR EXPRESSIONS. THE FACT THAT STAN IS KNOWN AS "THE CUTE ONE"?? LIKE?? IS HE?? WACK :D ANYWAY SHOULD I BUY THESE YES/NO

256 notes - Posted November 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

fucking obsessed with this meme that came up on my pinterest feed

what IS up with gay eople liking south park???

1,222 notes - Posted November 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#year in review #don't know if this will be interesting to anyone else but me #but I enjoyed looking through it!! #can't believe my top post was that stupid fucking sp meme though sdjfhsdfjhsd #anyway. thanks to those who accompanyed me on my tumblr clownery this year #can't wait to be even more goofy and silly next year #Youtube

[that-was-anticlimactic]

I posted 21,899 times in 2022

That's 10,017 more posts than 2021!

949 posts created (4%)

20,950 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@zukkaoru

@that-was-anticlimactic

@smilehoneyy

@milf-harrington

@hi-raethia

I tagged 17,244 of my posts in 2022

Only 21% of my posts had no tags

#good freaking art - 7,085 posts

#jjk - 3,477 posts

#que - 2,092 posts

#sk8 - 1,617 posts

#renga - 859 posts

#happy 8:08 renga:) - 628 posts

#screaming - 557 posts

#jjk spoilers - 544 posts

#zukka - 510 posts

#satosugu - 444 posts

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

can’t stop thinking about gojo and his infinity and how he lets it down when he feels safe and comfortable but sometimes he can’t even do it then but sometimes he lets it down because he desperately craves human contact like,,, he let yaga put him in a headlock when he could have easily gotten out of it / not let him touch him. he let itadori and kugisaki hug him. not only that, but his infinity represents his love and trust and care. he trusts yaga wouldn’t hurt him and he cares about the kids and the fact that they are kids and it’s not like gojo probably got hugged much as a child,,, and how he probably let it down whenever he was with little megumi,,, and he never had infinity up around geto because it was geto and he trusted him and he loved him and he cared for him. and thinking about how it was probably up for awhile after toji brutally murdered him, but how he still let it down around geto, and eventually, shoko and yaga,,, and how it’s his own form of a love language, it’s the only way he knows to express vulnerability without it being perceived as weakness. if he’s not doing well, infinity goes up for awhile. and only those who know gojo satoru are able to catch it…

364 notes - Posted March 20, 2022

#4

[ID: a picture of gojo satoru from jujutsu kaisen. he is midair, as if he were jumping onto the roof. his arms are out at his sides and his knees and legs are scrunched up. he is in his jujutsu high uniform and has the blindfold on. /End ID.]

satoruday. just a little guy.

473 notes - Posted March 5, 2022

#3

[ID: a screenshot of nanami kento from jujutsu kaisen. he is sitting on the grass with his legs out in front of him. one is bent with an arm wrapped around it. he is facing the camera. there is a picnic blanket with food and drinks on top of the blanket. /End ID.]

he’s just a little guy. he’s just Sitting. look at him.

527 notes - Posted February 24, 2022

#2

in my poetry class today, my teacher asked us to write a poem that was a love letter to language / words, so mine was a love letter to tumblr and it made me chuckle so i wanted to share my horrific mess of poem with y’all lol

blorbo, my absolute beloved

mutuals to, mutuals you...

horse in the plinko,

your fav in the plinko, your

fav is going to super hell

hey, i like your shoelaces

thanks, i stole them from

17 coc--

gaslight gatekeep girlboss

loving soup and sauce

eeby deeby november sixth

let’s make twitter weep

do you like the color of--

the color of the sky

of super hell of a

children’s hospital of

the oncler? bigger and

bigger, larger and larger and--

there are many disadvantages

to being a geologist

color theory [redacted]

[redacted] tony the tiger

also [redacted] i hope i’m

not just your mutual

but your empath too

little spoon big spoon this

post is about supernatural

do Not derail--spoon spoon

bro, dude, love, beloved

See the full post

574 notes - Posted January 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

they should invent a fic that finishes itself

3,666 notes - Posted October 10, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#look everyone. i'm my number two because of the have you seen him post let's be real iuhgyfcgvbhjikjuhgvfc #nOT THE POEM FORGOT I WROTE THAT LOL #omg theo being in my top five SO TRUE #hi theo!!! #hi grace!!! #hi nellie!!! #hi kai!!!

[fsbc-librarian]

I posted 500 times in 2022

That's 423 more posts than 2021!

86 posts created (17%)

414 posts reblogged (83%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@musette22

@fsbc-librarian

@buckymilf

@shrunkyclunksbang

@possibleplatypus

I tagged 175 of my posts in 2022

#stucky - 121 posts

#fsbc - 114 posts

#fsbc library - 109 posts

#bucky barnes - 92 posts

#steve rogers - 91 posts

#fanfiction - 66 posts

#stevebucky - 65 posts

#fanfic - 55 posts

#library - 49 posts

#fic rec - 26 posts

Longest Tag: 111 characters

#i remember reading the earliest versions of abo before supernatural took it and turned it into what it is today

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Nomad Steve..

100 notes - Posted May 22, 2022

#4

This is an open call for someone to create a ficlet for me.. I’ll even turn it into a podfic in the end

But imagine: Bucky is shopping with his and Steve’s daughter, but it’s been a long day and everyone is tired, and everyone is cranky and just want to get home, and this is the last thing that needs to happen before they can (cos it’s Sam and Nat’s wedding, and this kid is as stubborn as Steve ever was, and is the one who insisted on a dress in the first place, and god only knows what will happen if she doesn’t get one)..

185 notes - Posted June 10, 2022

#3

Stolen from a friend.. but this should be a Stucky Fic 👌

244 notes - Posted October 21, 2022

#2

I have three fics waiting to go into The Library, and I cannot for the life of me work out which category/s they belong in.. (PS these are all explicit, please check the tags before reading)

Collar Full of Chemistry

2bestfriends

Summary:

Steve is very rich and desperate to feel in control of his life again after a recent divorce has left him feeling bitter and lonely. When he keeps crossing paths with a disaster twenty-something, an unconventional solution presents itself. Steve's always been one for following his instincts.

Bucky is very broke and can't seem to catch a break, especially after some asshole fires him for one fucking mistake. So of course, it follows that he should sign a contract agreeing to do everything and anything that same asshole wants for a whole year in exchange for a payout that could finally change his life for the better.

~🔥~

in the gold room [ where everyone finally gets what they want ]

CircaClementine

Summary:

It’s only when they’re on opposite sides of the country attending University that our beloved boneheads realise how head over heels for each other they are. It’s true, after all, that you never know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone.

Steve’s pining from New York, terrified to make a move and lose the person that means the most to him, while Bucky’s been planning a birthday present to himself– one that’s been over a decade in the making. Will Bucky have the courage after all? Will Steve risk the possible loss to see if Bucky feels the same way he does?

~🔥~

Proprietary Information

notlucy

Summary:

Okay, so Bucky Barnes has a crush on Steve Rogers. The guy's gorgeous, talented and, oh yeah, the Chief Design Officer of the biggest tech company in the world. In other words: he's so far out of Bucky's league that he might as well be in a different stratosphere.

~🔥~

And a reminder where you can find our current and upcoming categories

The Master List

258 notes - Posted May 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

As far as i’m concerned, fanfiction authors saved the entire MCU - y’all kept me around long enough for them to make the multiverse canon, which therefore canonises *every* fanfiction every made 🤷‍♀️

438 notes - Posted May 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[black-eilla]

For the fanfiction/fandom questions or whatever it is.

7, 16, 28, 48, 51.

Thanks for asking immediately after I reblogged it!

7. List your NoTPs from each fandom you’ve been in.

Well, to be honest, I don't know if I can call these NoTPs but here you go. Naruto: For sure, SasuKarin will always be the biggest NoTP for me in fiction. I don't like their dynamic, because it's pretty eerie and creepy. SasuSaku is misunderstood to be like that by SK fans, but sorry it's the other way around. SasuKarin is nowhere near SasuSaku to me. And I quite don't like SasuHina too. Nothing compels me to ship them. I don't like KibaHina or even ShinoHina. I can't imagine Hinata with anybody besides Naruto. Beyblade: Well, for sure MaxxMariam is not my cup of tea, welp sorry. I can write something for them, but I can never ship them or imagine them as a couple. They have enough scenes, but their personality types together as a couple are not really my thing. Rick and Mariah's ship is something I never thought about. I am quite indifferent towards ReixSalima too. I mean their dynamic is good, but I guess their scenes are not pretty solid enough to ship them, given that Ray is one of the mainstream characters. But it's all just to my eyes only. KaixHilary is also a couple I show less interest in. Jujutsu Kaisen: SukunaxMegumi? SukunaXYuji? I don't like them. Gintama: GintokixKagura? Pedophilic.

I don't think I have NoTPs from other fandoms I've been in. Or I guess I can't think at the moment.

16. Are their any popular ships in your fandom which you dislike?

I guess my answer is the same as that of the above, excluding all the infamous ones.

28. If someone were to draw a piece of fanart for your story, which story would it be and what would the picture be of?

I want somebody to draw a fanart for this story called "I care".

48. Do you leave reviews when you read fanfiction? Why/Why not?

Yes, I do leave reviews for most of the fics I read, because the writers would be tempted to get reviews, and I would also feel the same when someone reads my fics too. So, I guess it would be hypocrisy if I don't leave them.

51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go!

AAAHHH

Don't compel me to read fics that I don't want to! And why the heck the fewer reviews I get! T-T

I just wish I had more readers around, and the lack of readers made me not publish fics for longer go. I wish I could get back to writing but I'm not motivated enough. The sparse reviews kinda tick me tbh. Fics featuring my underrated faves don't get much recognition. Or I guess I should have joined earlier.

BTW I kinda ranted in the 7th question itself hahaha.

Anyhow thanks for the ask!

#ask game #beyblade #naruto #jujutsu kaisen #gintama #bakuten shoot beyblade

[mostbrilliantidiot]

I posted 13,722 times in 2022

697 posts created (5%)

13,025 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@vwildmage

@this-broken-band-girl

@elytrians

@genevievedarcygranger

I tagged 2,647 of my posts in 2022

#ramblings - 708 posts

#evan - 118 posts

#oc inspo - 76 posts

#oc rambles - 55 posts

#oc inspo: evan - 55 posts

#tales from the office - 50 posts

#mike - 37 posts

#russ - 35 posts

#blackwood - 31 posts

#mood - 29 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#also to picture this properly you need to know that both of these characters are built along the lines of 'could probably tear a door apart

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

i am FINALLY cleaning at last. a victory.

4 notes - Posted February 18, 2022

#4

okay. im happy i actually went to the gym! i am!

that said:

4 notes - Posted October 25, 2022

#3

2, 6, and 25 for the meta writer asks 👀🥰

okay since I want to get back to fic instead of original stuff for a bit, I'm going to answer mostly using planned fic ideas :D

2. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

currently an as of yet plot-less criminal minds fic. The only actual for sure details I have are: dark humor, fun dialogue, and supernatural/magical aspects thrown in because I cannot help myself 

6. What character do you have the most fun writing?

at the moment? Hotch. he's a petty bitch and that can be fun. also that temper.

25. What part of writing is the most fun?

I love love love writing dialogue that can be reread three or so times and yield different shades of meaning every time.

my fav sequence is "Oh that is funny", "Oh god I feel like an ass for laughing now", "...oh that sonofabitch!" each time you read it

can't do it with every line, but when the opportunity presents itself?

 I indulge 

5 notes - Posted January 19, 2022

#2

it's one in the morning

I should be asleep

instead I am making soup

6 notes - Posted March 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Some FYIs

I'm older than 25. I'm tired. I'm always tired

I do Not Care about what pronouns you use for me. Not a whit.

I go by Alex on here but answer to just about anything.

side blog is Deus-angst-machina

I've been here on one blog or another since at least 2010. I've seen all the bullshit. Nothing is new.

If you think you know me from another blog that's now gone: you might! (such as totalityofthegrump or dontroastmeitsonlymonday) (there are other, older, URLs too)

I block often and filter tags frequently. Learned long ago it's just happier this way.

on that note: Blank Blogs. Y'all look like bots, you get blocked like bots. Them's the breaks. Don't Look Like A Bot.

all other details are to be learned during my sporadic over sharing in the tags

see me rambling about my OCs and have questions? go ahead and pester me in the ask box. I'm always up for rambling even more about my OCs

edit: oh yeah and fuck terfs, etc etc etc

some navigation tags below the cut

Ramblings: just whatever is on my mind

tales from the office: excerpts from the exciting life of an auditor

oc rambles: general oc chatter

Ongoing list of OCs and Tags for OCs

12 notes - Posted February 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[thebestworstidea]

I posted 2,477 times in 2022

146 posts created (6%)

2,331 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@chigrima

@xazz

@10moonymhrivertam

@jackironsides

@teliangel

I tagged 2,448 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#cat - 73 posts

#willow is drawing - 68 posts

#music - 57 posts

#art - 48 posts

#history - 48 posts

#willow is chatty - 39 posts

#april fools spam - 39 posts

#star trek - 37 posts

#batman - 35 posts

#comic - 35 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#the kind of people who take in nonwhite children are looking for a way too feel good about themselves more often than is really acceptable

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Prompt #1 “Classic”

Read the fic: “Uh... Married?”

64 notes - Posted October 2, 2022

#4

I’m hearing people complaining about the latest video saying that it’s ‘just an ad’ and my feeling is very much that it’s an ad the same way all those cartoons I used to watch as a kid were ads.

Jem and the Holograms had no reason to exist except to promote the dolls. But it still managed decent 80s style music and interesting stories. The early My Little Ponies were very much the kind of stuff adults imagine kids do with dolls. Heck, even the Barbie Movies, many of which are quite strong enough to stand on their own are generally accompanied by a toy line. The Transformers Movies. GI Joe. I mean seriously, almost anyone who’s my age knows what follows ‘And knowing is half the battle’.

Was it an ad? yes. But it also was very much the Sanders Sides. We knew it was advertising the plushies, and at the end they were plugged, but for the purposes of the short itself, they were just a plot device.

It gave us the Sides talking to Thomas in a different room; still arrayed in similar but different ways (Logan in front of the diploma, Patton in front of a different door, Virgil on the desk the way he sprawled on the landing in his first appearance) and a return to the idea that each of the sides has their own version of Thomas’ apartment that’s decorated to match them!

Anyhow I may have been thinking about this too much. See you later, I’m going to go label a jam jar and start saving my allowance.

66 notes - Posted August 30, 2022

#3

So I was just thinking about Danni, and the general oblivious level of the Fenton parents. And it occurred to me if you wanted her adopted into the family, they could tell the frickin truth.

“When did we get another daughter?”

“Yeah, so Vlad cloned me, but Danni wanted to live with us instead.”

“Oh that Vlad.”

“I hope he got your permission first, sweetie.”

“Welcome to the family! Jazz, get the Fenton-living space increaser, so we can start on making her her own room.”

“Please start with blueprints, not sledgehammers, Dad.”

“No? I’ll have to talk to him about that. Honey, do you think we should invite Vlad over for dinner?”

70 notes - Posted May 7, 2022

#2

was thinking yesterday about the difference between compliments and admiration.

Because you can be admired, even a lot and still not get complimented.

So, the way I see it, compliment are like reblogs and admiration is like likes. both are good, but one doesn’t have the punch of the other. 

then I went on a side thought about being appreciated vs either of those things.

Appreciation is: I’m so glad you did that! Thank you. Admiration is: Wow, you’re so cool! and compliments are more: You’re so good at that! you did great!

so they’re all really similar, and all good, but they just hit differently.

80 notes - Posted July 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Ardeth Bay: You have released the mummy and given him uncounted power. it is a disaster.

Rick O’Connell: My brother in battle, your people are the ones that came up with that curse.

214 notes - Posted June 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #long post #I'm bizzarely proud of my tagging habits

[smorgasbordofobsessions]

shoutouts: yugioh!

it's the end of my time with yugioh!, so you know what that means: time to dedicate a post to blogs i recommend!

cards:

card-of-the-day: posts ygo cards as well as other cards from other media, like sonic, pokemon, magic the gathering, etc

darkshadowduelist: they post cards and their descriptions!

fyeahygocardart: a blog dedicated to the "(he)art of the cards!"

ygoreviews: (last updated 2018) a blog that reviews official ygo cards; includes how it can be used, cards that are comparable, and a pros/cons list. i find it pretty informative though i don't duel myself

characters:

bakura-of-the-day: what it says on the tin

ladykaiba: kaiba-centric blog!

setolightblue: a seto kaiba-centric blog!

toonsandroses: blog dedicated to maximillion pegasus! this blog opens via the dashboard and not as its own blog.

yugiist: an atem-focused blog. in their wirds they "simp" for atem! share the sentiment, haha

fanart:

404ama: i like the way they color! they also do star wars and original pieces!

alliebirb: their art is so fun! they recently participated in revoweek and ohmygod??? stellar art honestly. this piece and this piece are from revoweek and wooooooww.

badnatroll: NSFW! last updated 3yrs ago, but the few posts are worth checking out! link redirects to the dashboard view of the blog.

charjeon: i'm a sucker for puzzleshipping and atem is drawn so lovingly!! look at atem and yugi having fun in this piece! also, this is sooo tempting to write a fic for

cinnabunbandit: eager for them to show more art since i like their bubbly style!

darkmagicart: the way they draw atem makes me swoon

juiceandcoffeebev: a fanart blog! this piece and this piece are think are super cool!

lord0f: fanart blog!

millennium-sketchbook: a fanart blog! lots and lots of yami marik and yami bakura, but everyone makes an appearance. i think their sketches are quite fun! and their style is very nice

millenniummmbop: their style is so good!! they should be working for a cartoon show honestly. this piece and this piece are my favorites! but everything is worth scrolling through

nedjemetsenen: a general blog but they reblog some quality fanart that's worth looking at

pridewhatpride: fanart of yugioh and jjba!

shinayashipper: definitely check out their doujinshis on pixiv!

ygobigbang: beta and artist sign ups are still open! scheduled for release this august!

yugioh-artists-united: (last updated 2014) a blog that features ygo fanart and fanartist. they have a masterlist of ygo fanartists as well, so you can check that out for a jumping off point.

yumekawa-se17: focuses on fanart!

zorcy: a fanart blog! they draw fem!bakura and i really like their art style! the way they draw eyes is lovely.

fanzines:

blacklustertarot: a tarot card deck! the artwork is simply gorgeous and everything looks super great. i pre-ordered the whole deck! the charms look super cute as well. pre-orders close june 30th, so make sure to pre-order before the window is up!

bratty-doll: a malik ishtar fanzine! their applications closed in april, but stay tuned for future updates!

ygocookbookzine: "A zine featuring recipes from and inspired by Yu-Gi-Oh!" leftover sales are closed, but look through the blog and see all the wonderful contributions!

ygoholidayzine: "...is a celebration of the holidays, and winter itself" this was from last year, so everything is closed, but scroll through the blog to look at all the contributions!

general:

atems-leather-pants: they're a fanfic writer as well!

duelistkingdom: their commentary on yugioh zexal is great

fateshipping: i didn't know of fateshipping until i stumbled upon this blog. there are plenty of other posts not featuring the ship, but if you're a fan of this rarepair, you'll find some good stuff here

foreverwithyugioh: a general blog that loves prideshipping

puzzlebros: good mix of stuff with focus on yugi and yami/atem

trichupmysleeve: general blog with a focus on the kaiba brothers

writewolf90: a fanfic writer! they wrote this story that i shared! i like their writing as a whole, so check them out!

xxxpharaohxxx-official: this blog also creates MMD videos featuring the ygo characters. they also show off the merch they have, which i think is quite nice.

ygosideblog: (last updated 2021) has some good fanart! and also some good ancient egypt posts

yugiohz: a general blog! they have really great fanart you should check out!

yugimoto: posts yugioh and nature. i like the mix!

miscellaneous:

duelsonas: "A place to catalogue all of the wonderful duelsonas and Yu-Gi-Oh! OCs out there! Welcoming of OCs of all types, from every Yu-Gi-Oh! incarnation!"

gxshipping: (last updated 2015) a blog that lists all the ship names for ygo gx! a good resource!

steve0discusses: currently doing a yugioh liveblog and i am LIVING for them!!

ygoicons: an icon blog!

yugioh-visual-novel: a fan project! this blogger is creating a visual novel and i think this has great potential! this is still in development, but read through the (few) posts to learn more about it!

yugiohmangaoutofcontext: exactly what it says. some of the panels (and the commentary) are actually hysterical

week-of-revo: a week focused on revolutionshipping (anzu/atem); was held may 1-8

week-of-revo-2: this is for 18+ revoweek content

x-puzzlejune-x: "Official new blog for the PuzzleJune challenge, celebrating the undeniable and forever cherished bond between Yugi Mutou and Atem"

puzzlejune: the previous blog for this event!

screencaps:

mutouaichi19: posts a lot of screenshots of the anime, and a lot of comparison shots between the manga and the anime. a fun blog to scroll though if you like looking at the differences of the anime and manga

specialsummon: posts screenshots from the anime! they post once a day at 6pm EST

#yugioh #ygo #shoutouts

[schyrsivochter]

I posted 289 times in 2022

That's 112 more posts than 2021!

13 posts created (4%)

276 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@headspace-hotel

@ilikesallydonovan

@glow-moss

@personalrandomspace

@chipper-smol

I tagged 289 of my posts in 2022

#random stuff - 72 posts

#the dark crystal: age of resistance - 56 posts

#fan art - 48 posts

#tumblr - 45 posts

#hollow knight - 23 posts

#about me - 21 posts

#dark crystal novels - 17 posts

#german stuff - 13 posts

#goncharov - 10 posts

#psa - 9 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#ich möchte das auch nicht umdrehen ich möchte nur dass sich mit beiden seiten der deutschen geschichte differenziert auseinandergesetzt wir

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

has anyone sent me an ask or something? Tumblr gives me a blue dot on the Inbox button and says I’ve got 6 messages in my inbox but I’m seeing only 4 in there, and nothing new

4 notes - Posted May 22, 2022

#4

okay WHAT is the deal with the ‘live slug reaction’.

like obviously it’s some new meme. but I have never seen where it originates from, only references and variations and meta discussions have been popping up on my dash these past couple days. something about a gay kiss?

please can someone enlighten me. please I need this

4 notes - Posted March 5, 2022

#3

I don’t want to comb through AO3 again so. can anyone recommend me some good Dark Crystal novels/AoR fan fic that focuses on Gelflings? ships welcome but not a requirement. short length also welcome but also not a requirement

6 notes - Posted July 6, 2022

#2

every day. I think about ‘ledgeacy of a lost mind’

8 notes - Posted February 28, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

did they. did they really not hire a single person who knew any Russian for making Goncharov

exhibit A: the name Goncharov itself. due to Russian vowel fuckery and final consonant devoicing, it should be pronounced ‘gun-chi-ROFE’ (or alternatively ‘-RAUF’ if you're British). of course nobody bothered to get it at least halfway right. they just took the transliterated spelling and went with it. ‘GAHN-cha-rahv’ what is this shit. What language is that supposed to be

43 notes - Posted November 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #tumblr #about me

[dance-is-life27]

I posted 19,803 times in 2022

That's 1,757 more posts than 2021!

6 posts created (0%)

19,797 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@wr0temyway0ut

@kybee1497

@ussgallifrey

@theperksofneurodivergency

@agentmarina

I tagged 2,345 of my posts in 2022

#drew reads fics - 971 posts

#otp: can you move you're seat up - 514 posts

#otp: because i care about you alex - 50 posts

#fic rec - 33 posts

#otp: luthor and super - 32 posts

#otp: on your left - 32 posts

#fic recs - 25 posts

#otp: thunder jock and science nerd - 15 posts

#otp: in the space between - 15 posts

#ot3: freedom trio - 13 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#in these past couple of months its been like whoever my favorite character is at the moment and a matching aesthetic homescreen that i make

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

The pure serotonin I got from someone commenting on my fic, yeah nothing else beats that

0 notes - Posted April 16, 2022

#4

Hey uhh did anyone else's tumblr update to where their dashboard and notifications and search home screen are all tumblrs default color scheme, even if in the settings the color palette is changed?

Example:

?????? Help please!!

1 note - Posted November 14, 2022

#3

Rules: write the last line from a WIP and tag as many people as there are words in the line. Make a new post!

Tagged by @blamevanson

This is the last full sentence in a wip fic about witch Evie from the Descendants movies. Lol this doesn't give you any hints about the fic itself.

"Her Isle one on the other hand isn’t."

I don't know who to tag for this so anyone who's a writer who follows and wants to do this can. :)

1 note - Posted February 22, 2022

#2

🍓 bc u seem cool also she/they 🤝he/they solidarity

Omg definitely!! Let's be friends!!! Also yesss she/they 🤝 he/they solidarity

1 note - Posted January 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

They should invent a friends to lovers polycule for me

7 notes - Posted October 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[beananacake]

Snapshot (Richard Madden x Reader)

Part 2

Summary: Your story time Twitter thread of how your grandparents thought you were dating Richard Madden becomes viral and you get the chance to meet the man himself.

Chapter Summary: Months after seeing each other for the first time, you and Richard finally get to go out a second time— and you meet one of his closest friends.

Word Count: 5.1k words

Warnings: PANIC ATTACK (reader spirals out in two scenes, DNI if you easily get triggered), mentions of being cheated at during in a relationship, usage of the word shit, 1 really bad joke/pun, Richard being a very fluffy boyfriend friend (this is a warning in and of itself), smidgen of angst, overall FLUFF

A/N: hi guys! Thank you for reading part 1! I didn't realize you guys would like it! Honestly, the lack of Richard Madden content is criminal. Maybe by Eternals, we'd get to see more fics about him and Ikaris. THIS IS A SPOILER-FREE PLACE btw!! I'm still pissed off I can't go to the cinemas and watch the movie on opening night. Anyone spoiling the movie in the tags or notes, shame on you, shame on your cow. Reviews, comments, suggestions, requests for more parts (and reblogs) are happily accepted still! Still not beta'd so mistakes are all mine. That being said, enjoy part 2!

Bonus Content 1 | Bonus Content 2 | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | One Shot 1 | Part 5 | One Shot 2 | Headcanon 1 | One Shot 3 | Headcanon 2

Richard 📸🥓: just wrapped up for this scene. How was work?

Y/N📸🥓: Tiring. I got puked on by a kid today. I knew what he had for lunch though and I can’t blame him.

Richard 📸🥓: 🤣

Richard 📸🥓: What are you doing now?

Y/N 📸🥓: Looking for something to eat. Not really in the mood to cook today.

Richard 📸🥓: The cast and crew have a week off starting tomorrow. I was thinking we should go to that Korean barbeque place.

Richard 📸🥓: I’d really like it if you’d come along.

Richard 📸🥓: That is if you’re not tired. If you are, we can go back there any time you’re free.

You stared at your phone, dumbstruck. Richard had said he wanted to see you again almost immediately after your first non-date. You thought it was something he said out of politeness—not really, though. A girl can dream, right?— and you pushed it at the back of the mind. You and him had been texting for a few months now, asking from how your days went to how your grandparents reacted when the news of the two of you hanging out broke. He had been updating you of his days on his own, telling you about the cool stunt he did with the harnesses and how he tried to persuade the director to let him try the action scene on his own. Richard, despite his busy schedule, still found time to talk to you via text or in Instagram.

If you are, we can go back there any time you’re free.

Your body was protesting from all the standing and the moving you did at work and you already had plans on just staying in. A bath with your favorite vanilla scent, a bottle of wine your sister got you for Christmas last year, and maybe a pepperoni pizza because you knew you deserved it after today’s events. But the idea of seeing Richard was too enticing to ignore.

You took to your phone again, texting What time will you guys be there?

Richard 📸🥓: Two people from the crew know the place so they’re leading the others to the restaurant.

Richard 📸🥓: I can pick you up if you’re too tired to drive.

You shivered at the rush of exhilaration. Okay, this is beginning to sound serious, you thought to yourself. But friends could pick each other up when they’re too tired from work, right? That’s normal. Perfectly normal.

Right. Normal. If you were friends. You didn’t know where you stood with him. Acquaintances? Celebrity-fan relationship? Acquaintances carpooled with other acquaintances, right? Right?

Celebrities and fans clearly don’t.

But you’re not a normal fan anymore, Y/N. You’ve made out with him. You’ve been texting each other for months about everything under the sun. He’s even asked about when your grandparents’ birthdays were so he can send them something.

Shit. You were spiralling.

You leaned on the counter, head down and took deep breaths. In and out. Nice and easy and slow. Say yes, Y/N. This is tons better than just pizza and wine.

Once you recovered, you replied to his text with Give me about thirty minutes to wash the puke from me. I don’t want to gross you out.

Richard 📸🥓: I’ll be there in half an hour.

Richard 📸🥓: And nothing about you will gross me out 😉

It was the wink face emoji that occupied your thoughts as you scrubbed yourself clean in the shower. Was Richard flirting with you? To be fair, you added a wink face emoji comment on his post with the both of you in a selfie and you were trying to be flirty despite your achingly embarrassing attempts at it. Coming from you, a fan in the minds of many, it was like you were just shooting your shot for him to acknowledge you. You did it with an audience. He did it in a private text conversation with you.

You donned on another of your dresses, forgoing a jacket, and slipped on a comfortable pair of sneakers. You spritzed on a bit of your vanilla-scented perfume despite knowing full well you’d end up smelling like grilled barbeque at the end of the night. It took you exactly thirty minutes to finish up and by the time you exited the door, you found Richard leaning against his car in front of your building.

He was smiling as he pushed himself off, watching you with appreciative eyes as you approached him.

“Hi,” you said with a shy smile.

“Hi,” he said back, smiling and watching you.

You shivered at his gaze. “The shooting today must have been tiring for you too. I can drive us—”

He broke his stare, clearing his throat. “I didn’t get puked on on-set, though.” He gave you a boyish smile.

You rolled your eyes, thankful that you both still had banter even outside of texting and chatting.

“Fine.” You smiled at him again. “Thank you for picking me up.”

“The pleasure’s all mine.”

You followed him to the passenger side of the car, and slipped in as he opened the door.

“You must be Y/N,” you heard a voice from behind you and you whirled around with a loud gasp.

Gemma Chan—the Gemma Chan—was in the car. With you. With Richard.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you!” she said, chuckling lightly. “I’m Gemma.”

“I know! Oh my god, I love you so much!” You exclaimed in surprise.

“Are we professing love now?” Richard asked as he got in.

You ignored him, completely surprised that it wasn’t just you and Richard in the car together. And why were you here in this seat? Gemma should have been seated here; you were perfectly fine to be seated at the back.

“Richard, what is Gemma doing there at the back? She should be here in front!” You moved to open the door when you felt Richard’s hand close on your wrist to stop you.

“She suggested it, Y/N,” he said as you sat back.

You turned your whole body to Gemma, unbelieving. “Please, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. I’m really okay with being at the back.”

“No, no.” She said as she laughed gently. “I’m perfectly fine seated here. Richard said he needed help with directions.”

“Oh.” Yeah, that made sense. “Right. Sorry. I’m freaking out. I just love you so much,” you gushed, looking at Gemma with a surprised grin. “I love all of your work! You were amazing in Sherlock and I love Astrid so much! I read all of the books and I’m saying this from the bottom of my heart, you are Astrid personified. I couldn’t think of anyone else playing her part.”

She chuckled graciously, turning to Richard. “Richard, you didn’t tell me she’s adorable!”

You were never adorable to people. Your personality always came off too strong even if you were always shy and introverted.

“An excitable puppy, more like,” he said good-naturedly.

You felt arms reach across your back and heard the seatbelt whip from its coil beside you. You turned and found Richard strapping you in, concentrating on the latch as he locked you in your seat.

“Wouldn’t want you hurt during the drive,” he said with a smile.

You felt your cheeks heat up as you looked into his brilliant blue eyes. “Thank you. I’m not too tired to do that myself, you know.”

“You were talking to Gemma. I didn’t mind.”

Of course, he wouldn’t, that hopeful voice in you said to yourself. And honestly, you really wished he didn’t. You loved the attention you were getting from him; all the texts and the updates and even some selfies he had taken. And now you were meeting with one of his closest friends and the thought should have terrified you but it didn’t. Other than meeting the freaking Gemma Chan, of course.

“Is it true your grandparents thought you and Richard were dating?” Gemma asked as the car began to move to the highway.

You were sat properly in your seat now but you turned your head towards her. “They still think we are. I really want to tell them it was an honest mistake on their part but I don’t have the heart to do it.”

“I don’t mean to pry—”

“Please, pry all you want. It’s not everyday I get interrogated by Gemma Chan,” you grinned.

She gave you a courteous smile. “In that case then, what of your boyfriend? Won’t he have something to say about that?”

“The reason I edited those photos was because of my last ex. It was… therapeutic in that nonsensical, crazy way. And if I’m being honest, it was also a way for me to erase him from all of those memories I have with him. Cropping it would leave the photo in that weird size and I’m not really that good with Photoshop to remove him completely so I just put my face, or sometimes my whole body, in another photo.”

“I’m sorry about what happened to your relationship,” she said.

“It… happens. No one would like for it to happen but,” you shrugged. “And it was a good thing that it happened, actually.”

“Why?” It was Richard who asked this time.

You turned to him and smiled softly. His eyes were on the road but his curiosity made it feel like he was looking deep into your soul.

“Other than meeting you two?” You grinned and turned to Gemma. “I finally put that Photoshop course to good use.”

Gemma chuckled. “I certainly wasn’t expecting that.”

“So was I when he cheated on me with my best friend but,” you told her with a non-committal shrug.

“He cheated on you?” There was a hardness to Richard’s jaw when he ground out those words.

“Yeah,” you sighed sadly. “I guess I wasn’t good enough.”

“No, don’t say that. I’ve only met you today and I think you’re more than enough. Any man would be lucky to have you.”

You brought a hand to your chest, touched at her words. “Have I told you I love you, Gemma? You are my queen and I love love love you.”

“What about me?” Richard grinned and turned to you as he pulled over at the red light.

“Hmm? What about you?” You teased, grinning. You shoved him lightly on the arm. “I’m joking. You know I have feelings for my unofficial celebrity boyfriend.”

“Good ones, I hope.”

“Nuh-uh. I’m not gonna say. Gotta keep you on your toes.”

He laughed his signature laugh as he continued to drive. Gemma went back to asking more about you and you were more than pleased to know she already considered you as one of her closest friends. You were shy about asking her questions but she just told you to go on. She regaled you with her tales from her travels to her work and which of her characters she loved doing. She even gave you a bit of information about Richard, much to his chagrin. It was only when you arrived at the restaurant that you realized you didn’t help Richard at all with the directions. The thought of him wanting you to sit beside him made your heart flutter.

You stepped out of the car and almost walked ahead when you felt Gemma sidle up to you and kept you close.

“You are sticking to me like glue tonight. We aren’t finished with our stories yet,” she told you.

“My queen, I am at your service.” You grinned and went ahead with her, hearing Richard trail behind you two closely.

You saw a big group of people wave at your little party and it just dawned on you that these people knew each other for months—years, even—and you’ve only known Richard for a few months and Gemma a few minutes. Your feet froze on the spot as you watched the cast and crew and how they interacted with each other.

Maybe this is a mistake. You clearly don’t belong with them. You’re almost intruding on them after they’ve worked so hard today, that little demon on your shoulder whispered to your ear.

“Y/N? What’s wrong?” You heard Richard on your left and felt his hand gently squeeze your arm.

“I—I—” You felt your throat closing in on it itself. “Excuse me.”

You broke free from them and walked out of the restaurant and into the cool alley. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, trying to stave off an incoming panic attack. You’ve been having a lot of those lately, ever since the news broke out. You found people giving you strange looks since the paparazzi photos were released and heard some criticizing remarks behind your back. You thought none of them until you heard one of your so-called “friends” backstab you.

“I wonder what he saw in her,” she had said on your lunch break one time. She hadn’t seen you walk in because her back was to the door you went through. “She’s too plain and she’s clumsy. I think she may have embarrassed herself while going out with him. Why do you think he never contacted her again? She’s just going to ruin his career.”

Your thoughts were running rampant from that painful memory and you began to hyperventilate. You cupped your hands to your mouth to keep as much air in as you tried to breathe normally. Your heart was beating double time and it hurt. You felt like you were being crushed to death by a phantom weight and there was nothing you could do even though you were in an open space with the cool air around you. The air had gotten colder all of a sudden and you gasped out a desperate breath.

“Y/N?”

You were still breathing with your hands to your mouth when you looked up and saw Richard strode to you. He was frowning but it was more out of concern than pissed at you for suddenly walking out on them.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

Your shoulders were shaking from feeling breathless and breathy at the same time. You only managed to shake your head as you turned away, feeling embarrassed to be seen in this state.

“How can I help? I want to help you,” he said. “You’re shaking. I’m going to put my jacket on your shoulders, okay?”

Before you could nod, you felt the soft material of his jacket drape on your shoulders. It was warm and a bit weighty but it was comforting. You took your time to catch your breath and when you finally did, you turned to him.

“Thank you,” you rasped. You pulled his jacket closer to your body, smelling his scent of sandalwood and musk.

“Are you feeling better now?” he asked.

“A bit. I’m sorry—”

“You’ve nothing to be sorry about, Y/N. Was Gemma too much for you? I could tell her to take it easy on you when we go in.”

“No, no. It’s not that. It’s…” You swallowed another forming lump on your throat and quickly shut your eyes. “I don’t know anyone besides you and Gemma. I don’t want to intrude on you after a long day of work.”

“Did someone tell you that?”

“N-No but I feel like it.” You opened your eyes and found him peering at you worriedly. “I saw everyone when we got in and I just can’t help feeling like I don’t belong. All of you worked with each other for so long and I’m this new person to the group. I’m an outsider.”

“Have we made you feel that way?”

You shook your head. “I’m really sorry, Richard.” You felt your eyes heat up as tears welled. “I’ve heard people say things about me and that whatever I’m doing, whatever this is, will just ruin your career.” Your tears fell from your eyes now, coming unbidden and refusing to stop.

“Who said that?” He looked angry and pissed and maybe even pitied you. You hated how pitiful you truly were.

“Some friend—”

“That’s a gracious way of saying ‘traitor,’ Y/N.” His jaw was clenched again. “I wouldn’t call them my friends if they told me I’ll only ruin someone’s career.”

You swallowed and nodded because you had nothing left to say. You wiped your tears with your hand, refusing to look at him in case you saw that pitying look on his face again.

“We’ll get you some new friends, Y/N. There are a lot of people there who would want to meet you. I know they’d like to be your friend.”

“How would you know?” You tried not to sound petulant but it still ended up that way even to your ears.

“Because I’ve worked with them and I know how they are like. They’d be lucky to have you as a friend. I know I am.”

You looked at him. He was smiling at you in that empathic way of his and you felt yourself nod. “Okay,” you said in a small voice. “I’m sorry I made a scene.”

“Nothing to apologize for, Y/N. I know how it feels to be overwhelmed too.” He tipped your chin up, wiping away a few tears you missed.

You nodded again and moved to take off his jacket but he only stopped you. You slipped your arms in the sleeves instead, letting it engulf you as it ran past the tip of your fingers.

“Keep it on as long as you need. We’ll go inside now, okay? If you need time to freshen up and would be shy to come back to our table alone, I can ask Gemma to help you. Do you want that?”

“I don’t want to impose,” you said in a small voice.

“I’ll wait for you, then. I’m not leaving you until I know you’re okay.”

You almost wept at how perfect a gentleman he was. Despite the overwhelming memory and him seeing you in this vulnerable state of yours, you still felt giddy that Richard had followed you to the alley to make sure you were okay and had offered to walk back to the table with you after you freshened up. If only I wasn’t this sorry excuse of a person, that same demon on your shoulder said to your thoughts.

You put a stop to another rising panic and turned to Richard again, finding him watching you carefully. “Okay. Thank you, Richard.”

“You’re welcome, Y/N. Let’s head in?”

Richard walked ahead of you and stopped by the two tables that were joined to accommodate your large group. He told them your name and you peeked from his side to give a small wave and heard him say you just needed to use the restroom. They were all nice and told you to take your time and asked for your order so they could tell the server. Richard had answered for the both of you, telling them the cuts of meat you like and then he was leading you to the restroom.

You slipped inside and proceeded to wash your face. Despite being a venomous friend to you, you were thankful she gave you the waterproof mascara that you wore tonight. You reapplied your makeup and fixed how you looked until you were sure that none of that breakdown was evident on your face. When you were satisfied, you went out of the restroom and found Richard with some of his fans, taking photos with them.

You smiled a small smile, watching how this man, who was on his way to becoming a big celebrity, be humble and respectful of the people around him. He was everything you ever dreamed of in a man and you were lucky to be one of the people he called his friends.

“Thank you, Richard! I can’t wait to see your new movie!”

He chuckled lightly. “Thank you. I hope I don’t disappoint.”

You never disappoint, Richard, you thought to yourself with a soft smile.

He turned to you and smiled. “Ready to go back?”

You nodded and followed him to the table. He pulled out a chair for you as you sat beside Gemma. Richard sat on your other side. You smiled again at everyone, introducing yourself. Everyone took turns introducing themselves to you. They were a lot and it was a struggle to keep up, but apparently you found a pattern when they introduced themselves. They were always grouped by the kind of work they did. Gaffers sat on the left side of the table, the dolly grip were beside them, production assistants sat on Richard’s right, best boys after them, and the stunt performers were before you. There were still a number of them but with them being clustered, it was easier to remember who they were. Richard and Gemma were the only actors who came. The others were busy or had gone home. You would have loved to have met Don Lee or Kumail Nanjiani but having Richard and Gemma there made up for it. You didn’t want overwhelm yourself again.

…

“Y/N, I just want to say this. I am a huge fan of your Twitter thread.” One of the production assistants told you as the night went on.

You were slowly getting your bearings again; cracking up jokes and sharing stories and generally just having fun with the people around you. Richard and Gemma were right; everyone was nice and they all accepted you with open arms, like you were always a part of their group. All that was missing was your name to be up in the crew credits of the movie to make it official.

You turned to the production assistant, Annie, and smiled. “Thank you. I never thought it would actually go viral to the point I’d meet Richard.”

“Have your grandparents met him yet?”

You choked on your drink and coughed a bit. “N-no. I don’t see the point to introduce him. They’ll know we’re not dating.”

There were scattered snorts around the table and you raised your eyebrow at them.

“Yeah, right.” One of the gaffers said. “‘Not dating.’ Richard’s practically leaning towards you throughout the night, all broody and protective.”

“Doesn’t mean anything,” you countered weakly. You blushed hard and took another drink of your Soju to distract yourself.

It was true, though. Some time in the night, his seat had gotten closer to yours and he often had his arm on your backrest. You tried not to think of it but you just knew that if you leaned closer to him, you would feel the heat radiating off of his body.

“If that’s the case, do you want to go out with me, Y/N?” The best boy beside Annie, David, asked.

You were about to reply when you felt Richard tense beside you. You leaned closer to Richard, hand on his thigh, hoping to lessen whatever tension he had that had built up, and popped your head out to look at David with a soft smile.

“Sorry, David. My grandparents would be crushed to see me two-timing Mr. Madden,” you said instead. “They’re still holding on to their idea of me and Richard dating.”

“Why not make it a real thing, then?” Gemma asked you, giving you a feline smile and raising her brows in challenge.

You didn’t know the answer to that. Actually, you do, Y/N, that little shoulder-devil spoke through your thoughts. Richard just doesn’t see you that way, even if he acts like he’s worried or when he’s feeling flirty around you.

“When that happens,” Richard spoke from beside you. “You’ll all know.”

He said when, not if. You were sure the crew noticed that one too.

“C’mon, Richard! You’re very secretive!” Gemma protested as the rest of the group murmured their assent.

“You’d have to be very good at keeping an eye out for details then,” was all he said as he smiled at you.

You smirked at him and took your shot glass, clinking yours with his as you both downed another round of Soju.

The conversation moved on from there to personal ones. You learned of their birthdays and got invited in some of them. They’ve told each other stories of their kids and their milestones, of their relationships and shared some advices to everyone. You were so enamored in all of their stories that you missed the way Richard watched you closely with a soft smile on his face. The night wore on until your party was told the restaurant would be closing in ten minutes.

You excused yourself, handing Richard’s jacket back to him and made your way to the bathroom. You were in the cubicle when you heard two voices from that of your group talk outside your door.

“I like Y/N. I’m glad she got the chance to meet Richard.”

“Yeah. I’ve never seen him this happy since we started working.”

“I hope she sticks around. I heard dating celebrities are hard.”

“Yeah, me too. She’s taking it in stride, though. I know they can make it work.”

“I think they’re already dating. Have you seen how he reacted when David asked Y/N out? He’s crazy about her.”

“She’s crazy about him, too.”

“They’re just making us play a guessing game…”

You tried your best to hide your smile as you went out of the restroom. Gemma approached you and dragged you towards Richard, holding out her phone to one of the gaffers.

“Take some photos of us, please.” She said to the gaffer as she wrapped an arm around you.

Richard took his place on your other side and leaned himself into you, mashing his face on you hair, kissing that side of your head and wrapping his arms around the both of you and Gemma. You smiled widely at the camera and hammed it up for the second shot, holding both of their heads closer to yours. Gemma thanked the gaffer as she took her phone back.

“I’m going to ride with Annie tonight. You two drive safe, okay? Can I expect a text from you two when you get home?” she asked.

You nodded. “What’s your number?”

“Richard can give it to you. Bye, Y/N. It was so good to meet you.” She hugged you and Richard before she went away.

The rest of the crew had gone after telling you goodbyes and see you later’s and you and Richard were the only people left. You shivered in the cool night air, an action that didn’t go unnoticed by Richard. He draped his jacket on you once again and placed his hand on the small of your back as you two walked to his car.

Once you were settled in the car and on your way towards your apartment, you turned to Richard.

“Thank you,” was all you said.

“For what?”

“For inviting me over and letting me meet those awesome people.”

He smiled. “They told me the same thing, you know. Thanked me for introducing you to them.”

You chuckled lightly. You both sat in companionable silence for a while. You arrived at the apartment after a few minutes.

“Richard, did you know about that soldier who got shot but didn’t get killed because of the penny in his pocket?” you asked as you stepped out of the car.

“I’ve read something about that. Why?” He closed your door, eyebrow raised at your random question.

“Would that penny count as lifesavings?” you asked with a straight face.

He laughed heartily. “Y/N, where do you get that?”

“A magician never reveals their secrets,” you winked and stopped by the main door. You looked up at him and smiled. “Thank you for everything you did for me tonight.”

“I don’t think I’ve done enough, actually.”

“You’ve done more than enough.” In an uncharacteristic surge of courage, you palmed his jaw and went up to your toes to kiss him deeply.

He returned the kiss with equal fervor, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you up a little. Your arms wrapped around his neck on their own volition and kissed him some more, your tongue darting inside his mouth and tangling with his. You pressed yourself against him, feeling all the hard planes of his body. He let out a groan as you kissed him some more.

He set you down and touched your forehead with his a few minutes after, breathing hard and deep. You swallowed as you looked at him again, smiling softly.

“Would you like to go out with me again?” he asked you, breathless. “Just us this time.”

“Okay.”

He smiled, dropping a gentle kiss on the tip of your nose. “Okay.”

You pulled away, waving goodbye at him, and stepped back to your building. You watched through the peephole how he pumped his fist in the air and let out a “yes!” before heading back to his car. You giggled and went up to your room, forgetting the fact that you weren’t able to get Gemma’s number from Richard.

Like any other night since the night you met Richard, you slept with a smile on your face.

…

There were multiple notifications on your phone when you woke up.

Richard 📸🥓: got home safely

Richard 📸🥓: I also told Gemma I dropped you off and forgot to give you her number. She got your number instead so don’t be surprised if you get an anonymous text. That’s probably Gemma.

Richard 📸🥓: Good morning Y/N 😊

Richard 📸🥓: were you able to get a good night’s rest?

You replied to Richard, assuring him that you slept okay and asked him how his night went. You texted for a while, still not feeling like getting up but you eventually did after a while. As you were getting ready for work, you heard your phone ping with some notices from Instagram.

gemmachan started following you

gemmachan tagged you in a post

You opened the second notification, finding the photos that were taken of you with Gemma and Richard. Her caption was unlike the ones she used to put. This one was playing coy and mysterious.

Twosome and a third wheel @maddenrichard @yourIGhandle

Below the picture, you found comments asking who were who in the twosome and who was the third wheel. There were people who shipped you with Richard, others who shipped them together and made you the third wheel. You didn’t mind the other comments and only cared for one.

Richard had commented on the photo a few minutes ago and had written Am I the third wheel in this picture?

You replied I think I am with a monkey with its hands clapped over its eyes emoji.

Annie, the production assistant you met last night, replied to you Clearly it’s Gemma followed by an exasperated-looking emoji.

You left it at that, smiling as you got ready to start another day.

If you've reached this point, thank you for reading!

#richard madden #richard madden x reader #richard madden x y/n #marvel eternals #marvel #eternals #ikaris x reader #ikaris #cinderella 2015 #prince kit #prince kit x reader #ibiza netflix #leo west #leo west x reader #got #robb stark #robb stark x reader #bodyguard netflix #david budd #david budd x reader #richard madden imagine #richard madden fic #snapshot #snapshot fic