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kpop · 2 years

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Music Spotlight: XG

Are you ready for a special Music Spotlight guest appearance? This week, we’re featuring popular new global girl group XG to celebrate the release of their second single “Mascara.” We caught up with the members to chat about their first comeback, their aesthetics and inspirations, and their favorite things about each other. Check out our full interview below!

Tell us a little about your new single “Mascara” and what you hope fans take away from it.

JURIN: I LOVE the song “MASCARA.” This song is all about “the bond between friends" and "solidarity," and gives you the confidence to value every moment, support each other and your friends, but be yourself and be positive! You can feel XG's vibe through this track!

COCONA: “MASCARA” to me is, in short, a strong and confident song. The lyric "Don't mess with my MASCARA" contains a strong message of confidence: "I won't let anyone make me cry.” I hope that through our performance as well as our music, everyone can feel more confident and stronger in themselves.

MAYA: MASCARA is a song encouraging people to realize their worth and regain confidence in themselves. We want to tell fans to always be themselves and have faith in their style! Don’t forget that whenever you need help, there are always people who will be there for you to help you get through the difficult times. There are so many hurdles and obstacles to work through, but believing in yourself and never giving up is the key!

Are there any women in particular that inspire you in the music industry?

CHISA: So many people inspire me, but Madonna, Rihanna, and Lady Gaga are artists who have inspired me since I was a child and continue to inspire me in music, fashion, and even lifestyle! I still remember listening to a lot of Madonna's songs in the car and vibing to them when I was 10 years old. I think that was one of the moments that led me to my dream of becoming an artist!

JURIN: When I was 13 years old, I started listening to music from the 90s and it inspired me. I listened to TLC, Destiny's Child, Aaliyah, and many others, but mainly female artists representing the 90s, I listened to them every day! It influenced my taste and style of how I dressed a lot back then and it made me think, "Someday I want to do this kind of music too," and I started my path to becoming an artist!

HARVEY: Doja Cat! Her confident and majestic performances always amaze me. I am always inspired by Doja Cat's stage performance, dancing, singing, and rapping.

COCONA: I have always admired Ms. Lauryn Hill since I was young and she is still an artist that inspires me a lot. I first fell in love with Lauryn Hill when I saw her perform in Sister Act. I think she is a unique and cool artist in all aspects, not only in her music but also in her live performance, aura, and style.

This is your first single following your debut—how was preparation different this time around and were there any lessons you learned from your debut?

COCONA: During the preparation period for “Tippy Toes,” because it was our debut, I remember that many things were new to me and there was so much I didn’t understand. Starting with the music video shoot, I think I was able to use my learnings and experiences from “Tippy Toes” to prepare for “MASCARA.” I can set specific goals for my daily rehearsals, now that I have a clearer idea of what I need to do. I get particularly nervous in front of the camera and my movements and facial expressions tend to be a little awkward. But after a lot of practicing, I’ve taken on board what I learned last time and I can show a more mature appearance in “MASCARA”! With the experience of “MASCARA,” I hope to continue to work hard, learn more and become even better!

CHISA: We had a lot to learn and take in during the preparation of our debut single "Tippy Toes," so this time we were able to practice more efficiently with clearer goals and it was a lot of fun! In "Tippy Toes" we prepared and expressed both our core music side and our cool side, but in "MASCARA" we were more conscious of delivering our power and energetic vibes!

Who and/or what influences your overall aesthetic—from your music to your style to your fashion sense?

CHISA: We listen to a variety of music regardless of genre, from R&B and Hip-Hop to Pop, Trap, and Soul. Also, our fashion and style are influenced by overseas artists, models, movies, and dramas that we watch! I look up to Rihanna and Gigi Hadid for fashion.

JURIN: I feel that we each have our styles, favorite artists, music, movie characters, and such, and we each know our style. I love 90s music and fashion, especially the street style, where I get my inspiration.

Your new single is called “Mascara,” but what are your favorite beauty items?

CHISA: I love my highlighter! It's my go-to item when I'm doing my makeup! I have all kinds of highlighters, but they all come in slightly different colors and pearls, so I use them for whatever mood I’m in that day! When I want to lift my mood, I put highlights on the tip of my nose and under my eyebrows as well!

HINATA: My latest favorite is my nightcap! I highly recommend wearing a nightcap when you go to bed because it makes your hair shiny and silky when you wake up in the morning.

JURIN: My favorite beauty item is eyelash serum! The title of our song is “MASCARA,” and the most important part of my makeup is my eyelashes and mascara! So I put extra effort into lash care to prevent my lashes from getting damaged! Every night before going to bed I always apply eyelash serum to make them stronger and longer.

HARVEY: I love mascara!! When I do my makeup, I always pay the most attention to my eyelashes! When I apply eye makeup, I lift my lashes with an eyelash curler before applying mascara, but even just applying mascara makes my eyes look more defined and changes the whole look! Mascara is a must-have to make my facial features stand out!

What are your favorite things about your fellow group members?

CHISA: What I love about all the members is how they are considerate of each other and that they laugh a lot! Hinata is so reliable and kind. She always helps me when I am assembling or carrying something. I love Jurin's taste in fashion and I think she’s the most fashionable one in XG! I love Harvey's reactions. Her smile makes everyone happy! Juria is always calm and comfortable with the members! Maya is the one who makes us laugh and gets excited when something funny happens, and makes the atmosphere more exciting and fun! I like Cocona's consistency with writing a diary. It inspires me.

HINATA: Cocona is good at seeing the best in others, and I appreciate her compliments all the time! Maya’s honest and playful personality is so cute! I love the way she lights up the room all the time! Juria is kind to everyone and makes me feel at ease when I am with her. Harvey is super cool when she’s performing, but off stage, she’s super funny and cute! She sometimes has a unique way of speaking and moving, and I like it. I like Jurin because she thinks really quickly and as a leader, she speaks up clearly for us. She has a different personality from me, but we get along very well! I like Chisa because she is really funny and always makes the members laugh! When Chisa and Maya are together, everything seems brighter.

JURIN: I like how talkative Cocona is. When we’re in a group, Cocona mostly just listens, but when we are alone, I’m the one that listens and Cocona is always talking by herself, which is so cute lol. I respect and love how Maya's always full of energy. I don't think it's that easy to stay cheerful and energetic at all times, so I know she's always looking around to see what's going on! I love Juria’s hard-working spirit, and seeing Juria working so hard makes me feel like I have to work hard too! I like Harvey’s amazing sense of humor, and even though she plays it cool, she and Chisa are the two funniest in XG! I love that Hinata laughs at everything! To the point where sometimes I wonder if she's forcing herself to laugh even though it's not that funny. But that only makes me want to make her laugh, even more, becoming more foolish around her. Chisa and I are similar in some ways and opposite in others, and I think we inspire each other!

HARVEY: I can't wait for you all to get to know each girl’s personality! I like how Jurin has a gap when she's on stage mode, and not. When she is on, she is charismatic Jurin, but when she is off, she is as sweet as a kitten. I like Chisa because she is basically our sunshine and is super caring to all the members! I like Hinata because she is always kind and reliable! Juria is positive and super happy all the time! I like how Maya can be cute as a puppy and super cool when she speaks English! I like how Cocona is the most passionate one when it comes to dancing, and she knows how to show her skills!

JURIA: I like Chisa because she is our sunshine and she's super funny. Hinata because she is kind and cool. Jurin because she is stoic and serious about everything. I like Harvey because she is cute and kind and has an animal-like personality. Maya because she is bright and cheerful. And I like Cocona because she’s so cute and is everyone's little sister, but she sometimes expresses her mature opinions.

MAYA: I love Cocona because she always sees the best in people and she compliments the good points in each person. I like that Juria is a smiley person! Harvey is very tidy, so I love watching her organize her things! Jurin is a planner, so she likes to do everything as planned from start to finish! Such a great skill as a leader. I like Hinata because I can depend on her like an older sister. Chisa makes everyone laugh, has a positive mind, and is always up for a new challenge.

COCONA: I love how straightforward Maya is! I respect that she can express her opinions precisely. As for Juria, she is very considerate of others. She is kind and I love that she puts others first. As for Harvey, she can empathize with everyone. Although she has a strong mind of her own, she is considerate and values everyone’s opinions, which is what I love about her. As for Jurin, whenever I speak with her, there is always something new I’m learning or discovering from her. She often has a different perspective, which I think is great! I love talking to Hinata because she is a great listener. Like a big tree, she shines with such a warm aura. This is why I feel great after talking with her. I love Chisa because she spreads love and energy to everyone around. She is always happy regardless of the situation, making us feel good.

Want more of XG? Check out the music video for their second single “MASCARA” here.

Photo credit: XGALX

#xg #kpop spotlight #music spotlight

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shiningshawns · 5 months

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Might not update this often as I do not have a title or anything for it and nobody probably will read it so I don't know if I'm talking to anybody but if I am thankyou! :)

Summary:

It's about a person whose parents get divorce and because their mum has financial issues they live with her mum's best friend for a while. The mum's best friend is the mother to Shawn Mendes and Aaliyah Mendes. Y/N hits it off really well with Shawn and that's all I have so far but I know it will remain pretty light-hearted and non-sexual either way.

This is my first time ever writing a fanfiction so I tried to make it pretty easy for a light read when you're bored and want something not too hard on the brain. loosely based on a dream I had, the person in my dream was a completely made up person, I just thought that I might as well make a fanfiction about it because I haven't had a dream in a while and it was kind of cute so I don't want to forget it.

It had finally been summer break, all those miserable memories of school were starting to vanish from your recollection, you were excited and surprisingly motivated to socialise with your friends and make those crucial coming of age movie moments. But of course none of that was upon your horizon, this was because nothing worth living through ever happened in your life, for instance the last eventful thing that occurred in your life was when your parents' marriage fell apart and you then had to start living with your mum who then began struggling with finding a permanent house. Regardless of that you were still disappointed when you were told that your next three weeks will be spent in some weird town purely because your mum's bestie (Shawn's mum) lives there.

The whole way to this town you let your mind wonder; what will it be like there, is it hot or cold? Will any of your friends miss you? How long is this drive? Will it be annoying to change the radio channel? Is your mum really ok? Did you forget any belongings at your dad’s? Will you ever be proud of how you live life? Are there gonna be any cool people there? Apparently your mum's friend has 2 kids, Shawn Mendes and Aaliyah Mendes. For your sake you've hoped that the one your age at least will be approachable, especially because your therapist had recently told you to meet new people and put yourself out there, your real self.

This drive was truly revealing of you and your mum's relationship, you had always had a certain awkwardness about you and now that was clashing with your mum's personality, she was and always had been the hardest person to read. You figured you would switch between listening to music and watching a show but the tension was just too much so you just began to ask those questions you thought of earlier, none of the deep ones though mainly just like what your mum remembered about Shawn's mum and what to expect.

Whilst bored in the car you came up with the best plan. Well… now that you know the first AND last names of who you're visiting (your mum told you) you impulsively decided to stalk their Instagram's and Spotify. Was this the most moral thing you’ve done? Not at all, did it give you fuel to make a judgment about them and prepare yourself? Yes. Luckily nothing was really too alarming with either of their Instagram's, they were all pretty casual and had photos of when they’d travel or do fun stuff at home with an occasional photo of just themselves in a fit check or like a selfie, you were way too scared to look at their stories though. You found you have similar taste in music with all of them to some degree, and none of them had Spotify followers which was honestly a huge green flag.

You gave special attention to Shawn's Spotify as you gathered you two would bond the most as the 19 year olds, his carefully crafted almost endearing playlist had phenomenal music and perfect covers. Your favourite was the one titled “I miss quality time”, it consisted of songs so good they felt nostalgic but you’ve never heard before, songs that can capture moments for eternity and give them gracious hugs. With one hour left of the drive you plugged in your earphones and began listening to it unshuffled, certain lyrics would catch your ear and result in you pondering whether it also caught the attention of Shawn's ear or moreover his heart.

i'm sorry this is awful :(

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adorecline · 2 years

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Hi can you do more blake lively and Ryan reynolds x daughter reader? I honestly love them both and I think they are both so amazing and their family is so incredible.

hi! i live for blake and ryan x daughter!reader content :)

Getting Older {Blake and Ryan x Daughter!Reader}

summary: blake and ryan have to accept that y/n is getting older, and isn't a little kid anymore.

warnings: a lil bit of angst (not proofread. i'm tired rn so i'll do it later lol)

"Who's ready for family movie night?" Blake called out walking into the living room in her pajamas. Inez and Betty cheered and clapped their hands as they ran over to the couch. "Where's y/n?" Blake asked looking over to her husband who held their youngest in his arms.

"I think she's still up in her room." Ryan answered setting down the baby in the high chair.

Blake nodded and walked to the kitchen to start making popcorn while Betty and Inez sat on the couch arguing over what movie to watch.

When Blake brought the bowls of popcorn to the living room she expected to see her oldest daughter, but was surprised when she was no where in sight. She set the popcorn down and walked over to the stairs standing at the bottom.

"y/n?" Blake called out. She waited a moment before calling her name again, but there was still no answer so she decided to go up to her room. "y/n." Blake knocked on the door.

"Yeah, mom?" y/n turned around in her seat at her desk.

"Woah, where are you going?" Blake asked surprised to see her daughter fully dresses, ready to go out, and putting makeup on.

"Jazz's party. Remember?" y/n said as she closed her mascara.

"Oh, that's tonight?" Blake frowned a bit.

"Yeah." y/n nodded standing up from her seat. She went to grab her shoes from her closet.

"We're having family movie night tonight though." Blake said hoping her daughter might change her mind and stay home.

"Oh, I forgot." y/n said walking back out of her closet. "I'll make sure to be here for the next one." She gave Blake a smile.

"Ok." Blake sighed. "Just make sure to be careful, okay? And be back by midnight."

"I will. I promise." y/n nodded grabbing her keys and phone. "Love you." She said running downstairs.

"Love you, too." Blake said walking downstairs as well.

⠉⠉⠉

Blake sat on the couch staring at the black tv screen. Ryan and the girls had already gone to sleep, but Blake decided to stay up and wait for y/n to get home.

Blake turned her head when she heard footsteps coming down the stairs. It was a half asleep Ryan.

"Is y/n still not home?" Ryan asked taking a seat next to Blake.

"Nope." Blake sighed. "It's 12:01"

"I'm sure she'll be home any second. You know y/n wouldn't break her curfew." Ryan said. Blake nodded. She laid her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her.

Ten minutes later the front door opened and y/n came walking in. She gave her parents a small smile when she saw them on the couch.

"Hey." y/n set her keys on the counter.

"You're late." Blake said standing up. She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at y/n with an expecting look.

"I know I'm sorry, but it's only ten minutes." y/n said with a nervous look. "And I was going be on time, but then Sabrina left without Aaliyah so I gave her a ride home." She explained.

"I don't care. You were late and didn't even call or text me or your dad to let us know you were okay." Blake said angrily.

"I didn't even realize what time it was. I thought I could still make it back by twelve." y/n said. "I'm really sorry, mom."

"I don't even care right now. Just go to your room." Blake shook her head.

"Mom-" y/n tried to speak again, but Blake just cut her off by walking away. "Dad?" She looked over to Ryan who was still on the couch.

He waved her over to the couch and patted the spot next to him. y/n immediately went to go sit down.

"I really didn't mean to be late. I just didn't want Aaliyah to be left alone at the party." y/n said frowning.

"I know. I don't think your mom is really mad about you being late." Ryan said.

"Then why is she mad?" y/n asked.

"Because you missed family movie night." Ryan said.

"But I told you guys about the party days before." y/n defended.

"I know, I know. But you've never missed one, and she knows that you're getting older and you want to be around your friends more often."

"I still love being with you guys, but I also wanna hangout with my friends." y/n said. "I didn't mean to make her feel that way."

"It wasnt your fault, honey." Ryan shook his head. "Let's just go to bed and talk about it in the morning, okay?"

"Okay." y/n nodded.

tags: @thollandgf

#blake lively x teen!reader #blake lively x daughter!reader #blake lively #ryan reynolds x daughter!reader #ryan reynolds #ryan reynolds x teen!reader

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cinamun · 7 months

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Hey Cin, hope all is well with you and you are keeping it on easy street for your mental and physical. OK so now for the question: How do you handle/manage multiple households in your stories? It looks like a tedious task but you manage like the boss you are. I was always just curious of this.

Hey bestie!! Doing my best out here in these streets!! I am glad you asked this because imma keep it a buck: It is very, very VERY hard and I do not recommend it.... kinda.

I remember how easy it was when it was just Indya, Darren, Elise and Juan (Elise wasn't even introduced initially it was just Indya and her little funky ass love triangle). I think you can make it easy if the households that are *NOT* the main households only show up for major story arcs. Right now I consider HoJay and the OG Drakes that main households - and in that order because I rarely just play Indya anymore now that HoJay has a family but I still consider them a main household.

I would prefer to keep focus on one main household because it does get hard to manage so you'll deffo see more HoJay than you will InDarren, for example. Its only tedious when everything is everywhere all at once (we had the passing of Elliot, MerShop splitting, the Sex Tape™ and the Aaliyah/Kenji "What Baby?" situation all happening at once and I believe I just got back the brain cells I lost).

I do not recommend more than 3 households having major events happening at the same time. Its too much and you may not be able to get as creative as you'd like. Keep it simple and don't be afraid to go a long time without checking in on another household *even* when folks start asking about them lol

I love y'all but Its hard to check in on the Riveras when there is so much shit I have to navigate with the current OCs lmfao

#story stuff #and tips!

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xxgothchatonxx · 2 years

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So I see we’re sharing how we got into the Vampire Chronicles, which I think is a pretty neat idea (hope you don’t mind me tagging you @i-want-my-iwtv - I was thinking of inboxing you but then realised “hmm.. bit too long for that” 😂), so here’s my experience.

I’ve been into vampires for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, it was very much the kid-friendly stuff (still iconic!) like The Little Vampire and Young Dracula. Then when the Vampire Renaissance of 2008-2010s occurred (I was.. I want to say 12? some age around then?), I saw Twilight and the Vampire Diaries and was like “ok this is certainly different from what I’m used to but I am enjoying it (yeah... that definitely changed with the latter show eventually 😂) but I think there’s something about my love of vampires that I’m not really getting with these franchises”. And then I went further down the “grown-up vampire” media rabbit hole and found That 90s Vampire Film Starring Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt.

I thought it was going to be one of the most “please come see our film, it’s mediocre as hell but we’ve got all these pretty A-list actors to distract you from that!” films ever. But as it turned out, I’ve never been so happy to be wrong in my life. I was just enthralled with this film. The acting was phenomenal, the look of the film was just stunning, and the characters were exactly what I was looking for in, let’s say, the next step in my vampire-loving adventure. This was the first vampire film I watched that really emphasised the metaphor of vampires being outsiders, and how their immortal existence can be a gift and a curse. It showed how different vampires deal with that immortality - some are gleefully sadistic, some are apathetic, some find it to be the worst hell imaginable that drives them completely insane, and some are... well... Louis. Love her or hate her, it’s easy to see that Anne Rice definitely changed the way we view vampires in fiction, and what they represent about our own human nature.

So, then I found out the film was based on a book. So I raced to the book store and bought it, then found out it’s a whole series! Yeah... I’ve only read the first three books 😂 (I will get around to the others eventually it’s just.. there’s a lot of them, haha!) but to summarise, much like the other vampire shows I briefly touched on, Interview With the Vampire was a very formative film for me growing up. And it’s a film (and book) that I love revisiting. So, I cannot wait to see this new AMC series, to see what fresh blood (pun fully intended) is brought into this wonderful franchise.

P.S. Yes, I watched Queen of the Damned around that time too and... look, I’m not saying anything new by calling it a pretty bad adaptation and I can’t exactly say it’s a good film all-in-all BUT it does have one of my favourite soundtracks and Aaliyah was legit amazing as Akasha, sooooo, yep.

#vampire chronicles #interview with the vampire

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bestfriendforhire · 1 year

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Children of BFFH, Entry 173

At my request, Raine had added a hidden room in the second dungeon of my team’s fort where we stashed the flag. With Messy and Luce on guard duty, no one would have too easy of a time getting to the flag. I frowned, knowing that my brother and Crazy would distract those two if they both went on the offensive. Reassuring myself that one of them would be defending, I prepared to attack. The other team had Valeria and Maiko, so they’d be able to tunnel or portal over here, but Messy would sense either. Things would be okay.

Just after I jumped the back wall of my team’s fort, I sensed a problem. Crazy being on the offensive wasn’t a surprise. She strode out as confident as ever, blasting our walls with water just for show. Valeria, Eléa, and a second Crazy had portaled into our keep, so which one was the real Crazy? I had no doubts that she could make Dea look like the real one, but she’d passively sense where the flag was if she wasn’t holding back enough.

Staring at the wall, I seriously reevaluated my plan. Eléa had split with every step, flooding the hallway with copies of herself in an instant. Had she always been that strong with her magic? I hadn’t really considered how fast she could search the place, and taking her out completely was tricky while holding back. I frowned, remembering her practicing in the gym. Every single projection could cast spells and duplicate more. My frown only deepened when multiple copies of Eléa dodged my sister’s attacks by duplicating, and letting the copy take the hit. That was clever. I crossed my fingers, hoping that Ella would manage to catch a duplicate to even the odds.

Forcing myself to have faith in my defenders, I made myself as invisible as I could manage, hiding my heat, body, and sound while floating off the ground with another spell. If Aika was on the wall, she’d detect me as soon as I was close. Hopefully, she would distract herself too much with her drones to notice me. If not, I could excite the air in numerous places at once, though that wouldn’t distract her for long.

Being a Somerset, I was faster and stronger than any of the quadruplets. Despite being reasonably intelligent and having more time to think through problems, I still didn’t have faith in outthinking any of them. Like their parents, the quadruplets were exceptionally creative and had leaps of insight that seemed practically magical at times. There was no fooling them for too long.

I winced as I sensed my second strike team fighting Crazy. Aiko, Maimo, and Aspy were surrounded by aggressive plants that were being obvious in their attacks. When Crazy got sneaky, she’d do things like having every blade of grass suddenly spray water at once. I didn’t envy them. We all knew that Crazy held back just as much as Messy, which was why feeling so overwhelmed by her all the time was frightening… well, that and the demonic energy in her plants scaring everyone who sensed them. Okay, so Crazy’s mind was even more scary than the quadruplets. Death’s granddaughter took after Auntie Aaliyah way too much.

Hurrying toward the enemy wall, I had to start dodging blasts of water even sooner than I had anticipated. The moment Aika sensed me, Maiko stared right at me as well, and both of them attacked. I admired the upgrades to their drones even as I cursed them. The water cannons were bad enough, since I had to hold back my speed in spell creation as well as movement. The drones seemed to be on autopilot, but they still were managing to follow my position. Either the drones had a new means to detect me that I hadn’t considered, or the quadruplets had refined their pressure sensors again. If any of the adults from the lab had helped, that should be considered cheating.

Running out of effective ways to dodge all too quickly, I melted the ground under my feet and hoped the drones didn’t have a way to swim through lava. Mere seconds through the ground, and I didn’t like what I was sensing. Aika and Maiko had concentrated their fire above the solid ground near me, and then Maiko started guiding numerous pockets of water toward my position. Entering her world was a mistake. Simply moving was taking more strength than I probably should be exerting in a fair fight. Even if I stopped holding back and evaporated the water, Aika could still control it through the air unless I heated that enough to make it too turbulent for her magic.

Sighing, I let the water reach me and headed over to the bench when Mila called me out. Getting close enough to be sensed was my own mistake. I should have stayed calm and circled around. I let my senses spread over my fort feeling everyone’s movement through their heat. Ella wasn’t getting a chance to use her gift. Eléa must have remembered getting taken out by Ella before and was overwhelming her with numbers, though I did admire how well Ella fought. If all of us possessed the same physical traits, Ella’s skill would be just a bit intimidating.

She blocked water spells from multiple copies of Eléa at once, tripped another projection while shooting it with a water pistol, and rolled away from more spells. Even with Luce’s advantages in these fights, Ella wasn’t doing too much worse. Faced with her own endless tide of enemies, Luce was dropping sheets of water from her giant pool over the enemies so often that the ground was mud. I wondered if she could feel the plants targeting her. Crazy hadn’t attacked yet, still having fun fighting in the center of the field, but she was obviously paying attention.

Messy weaved through the attacks of every projection as if dancing, but she was holding back too much to ever pull ahead. I was certain she knew that as well, but Messy probably had the most restraint out of any of us. Needing to stay calm to not slaughter everyone by accident wasn’t helping her, but any stress she felt wasn’t showing at all.

With Eléa doing so well today, Valeria and Dea were searching unabated. Aiko and Maimo couldn’t get close. There were simply too many copies of Eléa, and they often duplicated before one was taken out. Even if a group of them were down, the ones staying out of the fight would just create more. From how this was going, I could see we’d need to limit the number of lives she got in a battle before being considered out.

“She isn’t overtaxing herself, is she?” I asked, knowing that Momma Mila would be monitoring Eléa’s real body.

The smile in Momma Mila’s voice was obvious as she said, “Not at all. Her body doesn’t show signs of serious strain until there are well over a hundred of her. At that point, she flags very quickly. Give her another ten years, and I expect that she’ll be able to manage over a hundred projections for a minute before being too strained. With her main body resting while acting like a conduit, she’ll be no more fazed than if she had a mild workout by the time this is wrapped up.”

I nodded, not feeling terribly surprised. I was impressed, but Eléa apparently got a lucky draw between the magical strength of a dragon and the power of a fey, much like Mother. I wouldn’t pit a thousand projections of Eléa versus Mother in a real fight, but only Death knew how much experience Mother really had at this point. My parents were old and had countless years of experience on battlefields across the universe. There was a good reason that my friends and I play at fighting while the adults take care of serious problems. Watching as Crazy flooded Aspy’s telekinetic shield the moment he tried protecting everyone at once, I was thankful that Father didn’t let her loose on actual enemies. I didn’t want to feel sorry for anyone who opposed Father.

#Children of BFFH #Children #of #BFFH #Jovial Times #Jovial #Times #Fantasy #Fiction #Story

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dbnightingale24 · 3 years

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You’re My Drug (That’s The Problem)

Andy Barber ~ One Shot

Honestly, I don’t even know what is wrong with me. No one asked for this and there’s no reason for this to be so long. My mind kinda just went to home wrecker hoe central, and now you have this. I’m so sorry, but I hope you enjoy it!

Warnings: SMUT, so much smut, cheating, depression, heartbreak, swearing, mentions of alcohol, abuse, angst, just A LOT of stuff, 18+, MINORS DNI!!!

Word Count: 10,210 (I honestly don’t know why I’m like this)

Song(s) That Inspired This Chapter:

That’s All - Genesis

Sweetest Taboo - Sade

If Your Girl Only Knew - Aaliyah

One Last Time - Ariana Grande

I do not consent to have any of my works/stories posted anywhere.

Standing in Andy Barber’s living room, you try to remember when it all started, almost two years ago. He was never supposed to be anything other than a silly school girl crush and a late-night drunken fantasy. He was dating your favorite professor (who had basically acted as your mother when your own was too fucked up), and was so in love with him. Truly and completely. You still remember when she introduced you to him.

“Y/N! This is Professor Andy Barber!” Profession Daniels (Aunt Michelle is what you affectionately called her) beamed, walking over with her arm linked to the gorgeous and bearded professor.

“I know who he is,” you chuckled, holding your hand out to shake his.

Everyone on campus knew who Professor Barber was. Before he came to the university, he was a big time DA, and he was damn good at his job. After his divorce, he decided it was time for a change of scenery. So, he quit his job, packed up his things, and decided that NYC would be a good place to start over.

Every woman on campus was painfully aware of his presence because of his devilish good looks. It’s not like he strut about the campus or anything, it was just impossible not to notice. His beard was always full and trimmed perfectly, his voice was smoother than silk, his smile was infectious, and his body. Good God that was sculpted by God and the Devil. Such a gorgeous man but in a way that made all of them wickedly desperate for him.

The man had every reason to be a whore, but outside of class, he barely said two words to anyone. He came in, did what he needed to do, and went home. In fact, it’s still a mystery how Aunt Michelle got her hands on him, but never questioned it. She was happy and that’s all that you cared about. That really had been all you wanted.

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” Andy smiled at you, taking your hand and shaking it in a firm but gentle way. “I’ve heard so much about you, so it’s nice to finally put a face to a name.”

“Well, we’ll see how you feel about that after dinner! Why she chose to bring you out on ‘Whining Wednesday’ I have no clue, but if you’re still happy with her after all is said and done, I’ll approve of you,” you laughed while Professor Daniels shook her head.

“We’re not that bad!”

“We’re way worse, I know,” you teased. “We should get going before our booth is gone. I refuse to break tradition when we have a guest!”

‘Whining Wednesday’ was something started by both you and Professor Daniels to blow off some steam. She would go off about her worst students (only naming names sometimes), her workload, coworkers that drove her crazy (naming all names) and hating the pay cuts that seemed to be happening more often. You vented about the school workload, ridiculous essays, classmates that wouldn’t shut up when you were in your dorm at 2am trying to study, your mother, and your shitty on and off again boyfriend, Shawn. Also, you both did this while consuming food (mainly pizza) and drinks.

That Wednesday had been no different.

“Professor Cameron loves you!” your Aunt Michelle laughed as she finished her second Shirley Temple.

“Well then, can you tell him to ease up on my work load? Damn, I do have a job and other classes. I don’t even think I’m gonna pass this semester.”

“You’ve been saying that for two years and you do amazing each time, I’m sure this semester will be no different,” she shrugged, as the waiter dropped off another round of drinks and a large pizza pie with extra cheese.

“Eh, he is kind of a hard-ass,” Andy shrugged, grabbing a slice, as both you and Aunt Michelle gasped. “What?”

“You contributed!” you beamed, causing Andy to laugh, as you took a sip of your Jack and Coke.

“Professor Cameron isn’t a hard-ass, he just doesn’t like Andy,” Aunt Michelle laughed, grabbing her own slice.

“What did I ever do to him?”

“Every woman on campus loves you,” she scoffed “the guys at the University are split down the middle when it comes to you. Half of them love you and the other half wish you’d go back to Boston,” she smirked.

“How did I not know this?” Andy questioned in slight disbelief.

“You never hang around longer than you have to!” Aunt Michelle laughed.

“Don’t worry, the male students feels the same. Shawn complains about you all the time.”

“Shawn Toole? He doesn’t like me because I hold him accountable when he slacks off in my class,” Andy huffed.

“Yeah, he has a tendency to slack off about a lot of things,” you sighed, reaching for your drink “don’t take it personal.”

“Why are you back with him this time?” Aunt Michelle scowled.

“Why do I always take him back? Convenience, boredom, utter and sheer stupidity. I’d rather put myself through bullshit with him than be by myself.”

“You can do so much better!”

“Can I though? Like, lets really think about that one.”

“Y/N, you know you can.”

“It’s human nature. Why do we continue to drink when we know we’ve reached our limit? Why do junkies continue to do drugs even know they know it’s killing them? Why do people play extreme sports even know they know that every time they play it could be their last? Because we all live for the high. No matter how bad it can get, the high is always worth it. No matter how short lived it is. We’re all wired to self destruct in some way, some just find a way to last longer than others,” you shrugged before taking a bite of your pizza.

“Well shit, do you wanna teach my Psychology class tomorrow?” Aunt Michelle chuckled slightly.

“Fuck no, cause then I have to deal with all of the things that are wrong with me,” you laughed.

“For as long as I’ve been doing this, I’ve never thought about it that way,” Andy said after a beat. “You make an extremely good point.”

“See? I told you she was bright as hell!” Aunt Michelle gushed.

“Stop doing that,” you laughed, before downing the rest of your drink.

For the rest of that night, the conversation flowed easily and the three of you had an amazing time. Andy enjoyed the banter between you and Professor Daniels, and you truly loved watching them together. They both seemed extremely happy and enamored with each other.

Then the end of the night came.

“I’ve got it,” you slurred slightly, grabbing the check before either of them could get their hands on it.

“Oh? Did you rob a bank recently?” Aunt Michelle mused, a little tipsy herself.

“Not yet, but my mom did send me some guilt money, so I can afford this and much more,” you chuckled humorlessly.

“What happened this time?”

“She got drunk at my grandmother’s and made a complete twat out of herself. Decided that was the best time to tell me how I’m not doing enough and I’m not enough. Once again blaming me for her most recent boyfriend leaving, completely ignoring the fact that she’s the issue. Ya know, the usual” you shrugged, putting your debit card in the check holder.

“Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“Because it’s tiring always being upset about something. It’s tiring explaining, again, that someone I love and care about more than anything in the world treats me like trash. We’ve been having this talk since you found me crying in the library.”

“Y/N-”

“Stop, I’m really okay. She called me crying the next day and just kept apologizing.”

“What did you say?”

“I just told her to save it cause we have that huge family Gala coming up next weekend and it would save her time to just apologize for everything at once. Hence the reason I have all this money to burn,” you smiled as the waiter came over to grab the check.

“We can talk about it more tomorrow, if you want, during lunch.”

“Can’t do lunch tomorrow, dear old Dad is coming to visit.”

“What? Why?”

“Probably to tell me about his new engagement.”

“Didn’t he just get married?”

“Yeah, but she reached her age limit. I honestly don’t think my dad has stayed with any woman, besides my mother, past the age of 28. He meets em at 20, marries them by 22, divorces them between the ages of 25 and 28. She met this one at 26, so I knew she’d be packing as soon as she unpacked.”

“Your family is stressful,” Aunt Michelle sighed.

“I’m a product of chaos,” you smiled sarcastically, as the waiter came back with your debit card.

After giving in and letting Andy and Professor Daniels cover the tip, they both offered to get you home, seeing as it was late and it was a particularly cold night for early October, but you told them you’d be fine to walk the few short blocks.

“Are you sure? It’s no big deal, I don’t feel right letting you walk alone this late,” Andy sighed.

“I’m really okay, Professor Barber,” you smiled at him “thank you though, and thanks for coming out! I’m glad you had fun, you’re welcome to ‘whining Wednesdays’ whenever you want,” you giggled before giving Michelle a hug “as for you, I love you and I’ll see you at some point tomorrow, Profess-”

“We’re not at school. Call me Professor Daniels and I’ll scream,” she laughed, wrapping you in a tight hug. “Please let me know when you get home.”

“I will, I promise. Go home and have fun like the young lovers you are. Have sex or something,” you and she playfully swatted your arm. “Oh! Swing by my job tomorrow night! We can talk then!”

“Sounds good,” she smiled at you.

As you began walking in the other direction, Andy called after you “where do you work?”

“Um that Dive Bar a few block’s over! Tabitha’s!” you smiled, before resuming your walk home.

The next day, when walking across campus with your dad to get lunch, you ran into Andy.

“Oh, good afternoon Professor Barber,” you smiled at him.

“Y/N,” he nodded “I take it this is your father.”

“Uh yeah. Dad, this is Professor Barber, Professor Barber, my dad” you smiled anxiously.

“Good to meet you, Mr. Barber,” your father smiled, taking Andy’s hand in his giving it a firm shake. “You teach my daughter?”

“No, I’m good friends with Professor Daniels though, and she introduced me.”

‘That’s weird,’ you thought to yourself. ‘Good friend? Well, it’s not like he knows my dad at all, and Professor Barber is a private man. Makes sense.’

“Professor Daniels is an amazing woman. I don’t know what we’d do without her looking after my little flower” he smiled at Andy and you cringed inwardly. You’d started hating that nickname after you heard him call one of his young brides the same thing.

“Well, we’ve gotta get going. Don’t wanna be late for lunch,” you smiled, wanting to end the awkward moment as quickly possible.

“You have a really great daughter,” Andy said before you and your father started walking away. “Make sure you don’t lose sight of that.”

Your father gave you a look as Andy turned and walked and you just responded with a shrug, because you genuinely had no idea what had just happened.

When Professor Daniels came to see you at work later that night, she brought Andy with her. They stayed until closing and Andy insisted on driving you home again. You were so tired that you it wasn’t hard to convince you. Professor Daniels gave directions while you tried to force yourself to stay awake in the backseat. When you finally got to your building, Andy decided to walk you to your room, despite you telling him it’s not a big deal.

You two made small talk on the way up, which was his way of trying to help you stay awake.

“How was lunch with your dad?” Andy asked as the elevator finally reached your floor.

“Oh...it was okay. He did wanna tell me about his engagement, but he also wanted to bitch about my mom. He did occasionally ask about my classes and how they were going, so I guess that was nice,” you shrugged as you finally reached your apartment.

“I’m sorry you have to deal with that...you come across as just so...I know what its like to have unstable parents,” he sighed, looking down at his feet.

You knew he was referring to his father and it made your heart ache. “Hey,” you smiled, placing hand gently on his arm “I’m alright. I mean, it’s no walk in the park, but I manage. It’s nowhere near as bad as it was, Professor Barber,” you finished softly.

“Please, call me Andy,” he chuckled. “Well, in case you ever want to talk about it, you know where to find me. I know you talk to Michelle about everything, but if you ever wanna talk to someone who can relate, you know where to find me,” he smiled at you.

Maybe it was because you were so tired or because of how naive you were, but you didn’t suspect a thing when he said that. Though you were more sure than ever now, that was when things shifted. Had it really happened so quickly?

Maybe it was when you started seeing him more often around campus and he always offered to walk you to your classes, or when he started showing up more at your your job (without Professor Daniels) and you two would talk like you had known each other for years. Maybe it was when he chose to sit between you and Professor Daniels when you all went to college football games together and sometimes he would brush his leg against yours in the most innocent way, but his eyes would linger a little bit longer than they should have. Maybe when you two kept running into each other early in the morning at the school pool? Sometimes swimming together or getting caught up in conversations about nothing in particular.

But how could it have been those things? It was all innocent because he and Professor Daniels were like school children in love. No, all of those things were innocent and coincidental. At least, that’s what you kept telling yourself, which is probably what led to the incident that took place two days before that Thanksgiving break.

“Hello?” Aunt Michelle answered groggily, finally silencing her annoying ring tone.

“Fuck! Of course you’re sleeping! I’m so sorry, I’ll just-”

“What’s wrong? Where are you?” she said frantically, hearing your sobs and panicked voice.

“It’s not-”

“Y/N, please tell me what’s going on...I don’t know what’s wrong, Andy!” she snapped at him angrily.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck! I’m so sorry! I ruined-”

“You didn’t ruin anything. Just tell me where you are and we’ll come and get you,” she pleaded, trying to sound as calm as possible.

“Shawn took me to this party at 13th Step and-”

“Open the fucking door, Y/N!” Shawn yelled from the other side of the bathroom door, banging on it as if he were trying to break it down.

“Oh my God, okay. Where are you?”

“I’m in the bathroom. I don’t know...his friends are trying to calm him down, but he’s in a rage.”

“We’ll be right there. Do not leave that bathroom unless you have to, do you understand me?”

“Yes,” you sobbed out, wincing as as Shawn continued to pound harder on the door.

They were at your rescue in 10 minutes. While Professor Daniels came to collect you from the bathroom, Andy stayed in the bar area, doing his best to calm the situation down.

“Look at you! You’re so pathetic! Little slut, we’re fucking done! Don’t even-”

“Fucking watch it-” Andy growled, doing his best to keep his cool in front of both you and Professor Daniels.

“Or what? You’ll fucking fail me? You think I haven’t heard about you two? How you two are always together? Football games and shit?”

“It’s the three of us, Toole. Watch it,” Andy warned again through gritted teeth.

“Fuck you, Barber. Couldn’t make your marriage work, so you steal my girl? Or is that just what you do?” Shawn shouted at you. “You fuck professors to-”

Shawn was cut off by Andy’s right fist connecting with his jaw. “I told you to fucking watch it!” Andy yelled.

“Andy, stop!” Aunt Michelle yelled, running from you to Andy, trying to stop him from hitting Shawn again.

“You put your fucking hands on her?! Your own fucking girlfriend?!” Andy yelled, connecting another hit.

“Professor Barber, please!” you pleaded, tears streaming down your face, just wanting the night to end.

The sound of your voice made Andy compose himself and slowly get himself together. “Touch her again and you’ll end up with way worse than this, understand me?”

Shawn was silent.

“I asked if you understand me?!” Andy asked again, kicking Shawn in the stomach.

“Fine! Yes! Okay!” Shawn howled in pain, as the cops finally showed up.

“Nothing to see here, it’s taken care of,” Andy muttered before storming out of the bar.

That night, you kept telling Professor Daniels that nothing happened between you and Andy, and you didn’t know why Shawn had snapped, cause at that point, nothing had happened.

“Oh honey, I believe you! Please don’t worry about it,” she cooed, trying to calm you down as you all made your way back her place.

“I just...I’m so-”

“Don’t you dare apologize because he’s unhinged! You’re okay now, please don’t worry. You’re safe now,” she cooed as Andy pulled up to her place.

She had the spare room made up almost instantly and you felt guilty staying there. No, you hadn’t done anything with Andy, but still. If other people were noticing and saying things to Shawn, maybe you were in the wrong.

That night, they fought like a married couple on the brink of divorce.

“You can’t just fly off the handle like that, Andy!”

“Did you not see her busted lip?! What the hell was I supposed to do?!”

“You don’t think I wanted to attack him?! Do you know how much I love her?! She’s practically family to me! You’re a professor, Andy! Do you understand that she saved your ass tonight? If she hadn’t threatened him with pressing charges, he would’ve pressed charges against you! You can’t just-”

“I know, okay?! I know! I just...that’s not right! No matter how angry you are, you don’t put your hands on a woman! Did you see how scared she was?! I just...” Andy sighed “I need to go for a walk,” he all but muttered before storming out.

Professor Daniels kept watch over you almost all night. Checking the room almost every hour, until she finally succumbed to sleep. When Andy came back, he sat at the foot of the guest bed, rubbing your feet softly and quietly apologizing profusely. He had no idea that you were still awake and it broke your heart. However, it also made you feel cared for.

Men in your life didn’t defend you, fight for you, or get angry for you. Let alone get angry over you. Yes, Professor Daniels had been looking out for you since you got there, but she wasn’t him. Andy filled you with something you weren’t quite sure of and it made you feel things you shouldn’t, which is why you decided you couldn’t see him anymore.

You did your absolute best to avoid him, no matter the cost. You stopped doing ‘whining Wednesdays’ (telling Professor Daniels that you picked up more shifts at work), you cut lunches short so you could avoid bumping into him when you made your way back to class, and hiding in the back when he would show up during your shift at work. Anything to keep from seeing him. Your relationship going to shit was one thing, but the one person who saved you from the hell that was your life? You would do anything to keep her safe and happy.

The plan worked great until you fell asleep in the library during Winter break.

“Y/N?” Andy asked, shaking you softly.

“Hm? What? Oh shit!” you exclaimed once you saw Andy’s face. “I didn’t mean to...what time is it?”

“It’s almost 12am,” he chuckled at your slightly frightened state.

“Fuck, thanks for waking me,” you smiled weakly at him, gathering your notes and books quickly.

“You should stay at my place,” he suggested nonchalantly, but it was enough to get your anxiety kicking.

“No, I’m not too far-”

“I don’t want you going anywhere this late alone and I have a feeling that you’ll put up a fight if I offer to take you home,” he smirked.

“I don’t want-”

“It’s Winter Break, sweetheart. He’s not here, Michelle isn’t here, there’s almost no one here. It’s just late and I don’t want you walking home this late. Help me put my mind at ease and just stay at my place tonight,” he offered again with a sigh.

He was right. With all of the anxiety and guilt you had been feeling with everything since what happened with Shawn, you were opposed to spending any time with him, let alone staying at his place. However, it was late and you did have fears about walking home that late. It was easily a 15 minute walk, but it was also the City.

So, you made the mistake of agreeing to stay at Andy’s place.

“The spare room is down the hall to the right and there should be sweats in there. Michelle has kind of made a habit of keeping clothes in there on the off chance she stays over,” he smiled softly. “She says I have too many things in my drawer so she just uses the one in the spare room,” he softly chuckled once he saw the confused look on your face.

At then mention of Michelle’s name, you gather your thoughts quickly. It didn’t matter that you had gotten off to the thought of you fucking him senseless the night before, because it could never happen. “I can stay in my-”

“Y/N, it’s Winter break. Please relax. Change into something that’s more comfortable and go to sleep,” he smiled before going into his kitchen and grabbing a glass.

“Professor-”

“Andy,” he gently corrected.

“Andy,” you smiled “I really do appreciate you letting me stay here. I’ll do my best to not disturb your routine.”

“Are you always this anxious?”

“Yes,” you answered quickly and honestly, and his response was a deep and hearty laugh. You could’ve listen to him laugh all night.

“Please don’t worry. You can use whatever you want, eat whatever you want, and lay wherever you want. Just relax, okay?” he smiled before taking out a second glass. “You want a drink?”

“No no, I’ll probably just sleep,” you smiled. “Thank you...again,” you smiled before making your way to the spare bedroom.

The room was beautiful but you could tell it had rarely been slept in. The bed was spacious and the pillows extremely comfortable. You took a deep breath and tried to get yourself to relax. When you opened the drawer, you saw Professor Daniel’s sweats, tank tops, and intimate wear.

‘You’re not doing anything wrong. Just text her before you fall asleep,’ you mentally told yourself, trying to calm the voice in your head.

You changed into a pair of her sweats before settling into the bed and sending her a text explaining what happened. Her response came a few a moments later simply saying “Thank you! I know you’re probably uncomfortable, but it’s just a night and he’s a total sweetheart. You’re safe there and I feel so much better knowing you’re there! Thanks for letting me know!”

You did your best to get comfortable so that you could fall asleep, but all of a sudden you were wide awake. It’s not like it wasn’t a comfortable mattress or there was anything wrong with the room, you just couldn’t get comfortable knowing he was was sharing the same space as you. You thought about getting a drink to calm your nerves, but you didn’t want to risk getting caught up in conversation with him.

When you heard the laugh track coming from the living room, you decided that maybe getting off wouldn’t be a bad idea. It did always leave you feeling sleepy and you could be quiet. No, it wasn’t ideal, but anything that could make you sleep faster so you could leave faster was ideal.

It wasn’t hard for you to get yourself worked up: you were in Andy’s apartment and had just heard his voice moments ago. It was only matter of seconds before your fingers found your clit, playing with it a little before slipping two inside yourself. Eyes clenched shut and his name softly escaping your lips, it didn’t take long for you to get yourself over the edge.

Taking deep breaths and giving yourself a little time to come down from your high, you felt yourself getting sleepy and a small smile came to your face. Slowly getting up, you decide to clean yourself up before finally getting some rest.

Had you known what was coming next, you would’ve stayed in bed.

“Profess...Andy, where’s your bathroom?” you asked shyly, standing right outside of the living room.

“Down the hall to your left,” he smiled at you.

You quickly clean yourself up and relieve yourself, before quickly and quietly making your way back to the spare bedroom.

“Would you mind sitting with me for a bit? Having a hard time falling asleep tonight,” Andy asked right before you closed the door.

“Is it because I’m here?” you ask, ready to get yourself a car service and go home. “I can leave, I’m so-”

“Please calm down,” he chucked, only putting you at ease a little. “I just have a lot on my mind and it would help to get some advice is all. I understand if you just wanna sleep, it looks like you’ve had a long day,” he smiled.

You argued with yourself before you came to the conclusion that an innocent conversation wouldn’t be so bad. “I can hang for a little bit,” you smile at him before taking a seat not too far from him on the sofa.

You talked about everything and nothing that night and at some point he talked you into having a drink with him.. He asked for your advice about personal issues with his wife and son, work, and getting used to his new life.

“I know you’re tired but I need your advice on one more thing,” he smiled as you finished the drink he poured you.

“I’ll do my best,” you smiled, turning your attention to him.

“I’ve done something and I...I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know if I can,” he sighed, running his hand through his hair.

“It can’t be that bad, what happened?”

“I....you know what? Don’t worry about it. Get some sleep.”

“Andy, you can talk to me,” you smile sweetly, inching closer to him.

“I did this all wrong,” he sighed. “What would you do if you were in my position?”

“What position are you in?”

“I fell for someone when I first got to the university. We didn’t say a word to each other and I honestly don’t know if she even saw me, but she just caught me off guard. Her hair, how hard she was focusing on her studies, the smile that came to her face once she figured something out...I watched her longer than I should have. I went to Michelle about her, cause they seemed to get along well, but Michelle kinda fell for me in the process. I fell for her too. Please don’t get me wrong. Michelle is wonderful in every way possible and beautiful as hell, but she isn’t...she isn’t this person. This person is gorgeous, funny, witty, strong, a nervous wreck...so many things. I don’t know what to do,” he confessed softly.

You told yourself that the pang of jealousy you felt was for Aunt Michelle and the fact that she’d be getting her heart broken soon, but you knew it was because you desperately wanted to be the other person. What kind of person did that make you? A terrible one. “I mean, you definitely need to break up with Michelle and then tell this person how you feel. They both deserve to know,” you huff.

“It’s not that simple,” Andy shook his head.

“Of course it isn’t simple, but-”

“No,” he interrupted softly. “I’ll end up hurting both of them and I can’t...they deserve so much better than that. Better than me.”

“How would you hurt the other person?”

“Because how can I tell you that I’m in love with you and expect it to go over well when you call her your ��Aunt’?” he asked, finally meeting your gaze with desperate eyes.

Your heart almost stopped. How could he be in love with you? “Andy-”

“I have tried so hard to ignore this,” he sighed. “The moment I saw you sitting alone in the library, I wanted to know everything about you. But you’re a fucking student. Even if you aren’t my student, you’re still a student. Then I just kept seeing you everywhere and most of the time you were with Michelle. I only wanted to pick her brain about you, I definitely didn’t expect it to turn into a relationship. Then, when you started to make yourself unavailable, I knew it was for the best. We were spending too much time together and even though it was innocent, we were tiptoeing a line. You did what I couldn’t do. I forced myself to be okay with it, cause it was for the best.”

“Andy, you can’t-”

“When I came by the spare bedroom tonight to check on you and I heard you...I finally felt confident that it wasn’t just me. You feel every thing I feel, but this is wrong. It’s so wrong, but I want you. I need you,” he finished, resting his hand on your thigh.

“Andy...we can’t...this isn’t...I can’t do this to her,” you almost sobbed. “She has done so much for me and has taken care of me...I could never-”

“I know and I hate myself for this, but I can’t deny it anymore,” he practically whispered, as his hands slowly made their way up to the hem of the sweats you were wearing. Aunt Michelle’s sweatpants.

“She loves you, Andy,” you said defiantly, trying your hardest to not give in to your traitorous desires.

“And I love you. I tried to fight this, but I can’t anymore. I can’t and I don’t want to. Tell me you don’t want this and I’ll stop. You’ll never see me again. I’ll drive you home right now.”

“It doesn’t matter what I want, cause this is...s-shit” you moan, feeling his finger softly trace up and down the thin material that was keeping him from making direct contact with your most sensitive nerve. “A-Andy, if we do this...we can’t take it back and we’ll both feel terrible. This is...it’s wrong.”

“I’ve been watching you for so long. Do you know how many times I’ve gotten off to the thought of you bouncing up and down my cock? Hearing you scream my name while I make you feel things you’ve never felt before? I know I’m a complete piece of shit for this, but I can’t ignore this. Not anymore,” he groaned, using a finger to push the material to the side before slipping two fingers in. “I can tell you need this too.”

“Andy,” you moaned, your hand traveling up his arm.

“That’s it baby, let me make you feel good like I know you’ve been dreaming of,” he sighed, using his free hand to pull down both the sweats and your panties and you kicked them off the rest of the way. “Such a perfect pussy,” he moaned “lets see if you taste as sweet as you are,” he all but muttered before moving in close and removing his fingers, only to replace them with his mouth.

“Shit!” you cried out, arching your back at the feel of him sucking and licking on your clit. You had never been eaten out before. You had only had one other boyfriend before Shawn and they both refused to do it even though they insisted upon you blow them before sex. “I just...oh my God!” you whimpered.

Andy hooked your leg over his shoulder and only let you hold on. He didn’t slow down when you gabbed a fist full of his hair and screamed obscenities when your first orgasm hit. He only gripped you tighter and sped up when you begged him to slow down, letting his hand trace up your body until it found one of your boobs and messaging your nipple between two fingers, sending you quickly into your second orgasm. When you told him that it was too much, he pushed two fingers into soaked folds and found that place deep inside you that you blossoming like a little flower for him.

“Never felt so good before, have you?” he asked sitting up and smirking at you in your blissed out state.

All you could do was shake your head ‘no’.

“Are you gonna be a good girl for me tonight and cum on my cock?” he questioned, wrapping your legs around him.

“Andy, we can’t-”

“We’ve already gone this for, baby” he sighed, a flicker of shame in his eyes “why deny ourselves any further?”

“I can go now.”

“Do you want to?”

“Of course not,” you sighed, turning your head away from his overwhelming gaze.

“Don’t think about everything else right now, just focus on right now,” he demanded softly, taking your face in his hand and making you look at him.

You slowly nodded and sat up. Ignoring the last bit of fight left in you, you placed your arms around his neck and pulled him in for a deep and passionate kiss. “this is where I want to be,” you told him softly, giving into the feelings you had been harboring for over a year.

He carried you to his bedroom and laid you softly on the bed. You pushed out the thought that he had shared that bed with Aunt...Professor Daniels more times than you cared to know as Andy removed his shirt. It didn’t matter that you had seen him shirtless a handful of times, his beauty always caught you off guard.

“Take off your shirt, baby,” he commanded sliding his hand down his own sweats, taking himself in his hands and stroking his cock. “wanna see all of tthat gorgeous body.”

You wasted no time getting rid of your shirt, before getting on your knees and crawling towards the side of bed he was standing on. “Can I suck your cock?” You couldn’t believe yourself but you also couldn’t stop yourself.

“Your really want to?” he asked before pulling down his sweats and stepping out of them.

Neither of your boyfriends had come close to the size of Andy and you were starting to understand why Professor Daniels would come to work exhausted some days. “I’ve thought about it so much,” you confessed, feeling yourself get worked up again.

“Mmm,” Andy moaned, starting to stroking himself again “you can only suck it if you tell me what else you’ve fantasized about.”

“Professor Barber, please don’t make me,”

“Fuck,” he groaned, he loved hearing you call him that, “gotta tell me kitten, or I won’t let you touch me. Is that what you want?”

“No Professor,” you whined.

“Then tell me.”

You looked away, feeling too ashamed of yourself for being as desperate as you were. “I-”

“Look at me when you tell me, baby. Don’t be shy,” he cooed, using his free hand to cup your face and bring your attention back to him.

“I...I’ve thought about you fucking me on your desk, right after your last class...” you trailed off.

“I think you’ve thought about more than that,” he coaxed.

“Fucking me in my ass while I’m bent over doing my homework.”

“Oh? My little kitten likes anal?”

“I’ve never done it, but I want to try it with you. I want to try everything with you, Professor,” you moan, pressing your thighs together trying to relieve some of the pressure building up between your legs.

“You ever seen a cock this big, baby?”

“No, and I’m honestly a little nervous,” you confessed.

“Don’t you worry, kitten. I’m gonna make you feel so good, but you gotta tell me one more fantasy before I let you put your mouth on me,” he instructed. You tried to turn your head away, but he held it in place. “What did I say? Don’t be shy. Now tell me.”

“I...I’ve thought about keeping your cock warm with a vibrator shoved in my pussy, while you teach class. I would stay under your desk and blow you or just keeping it in mouth.”

“You want us to get caught?”

“No, but I wouldn’t mind if people saw...I want people to watch you control me, so they know I’m yours. They can see but they can’t touch.”

“I didn’t know my good girl was so bad,” he smirked “you still wanna suck your professor’s cock?”

“Please!” you cried out, desperate for mouth to be on any part of him.

“Open wide, kitten,” he instructed, before shoving his cock in. “Oh fuck! Do you know how many times I’ve thought of you taking my cock in that pretty little mouth? You take it so well,” he grunted, doing his best to let you control the situation and not face fuck you.

Andy could only let you stay in control for so long. The moment you started gagging on him, he knew he was done for. “Lay down and open those pretty legs for me,” he breathed out, once he got you off of his cock. “Gonna fuck you so good, I’ll ruin you for ever other man.”

“Please destroy my pussy,” you whined, ignoring all the voices telling you to run away as fast as you could.

“Fuck!” Andy hissed, slowly pushing his way into you as you wrapped your arms around him and held on tight. “You’re so fucking tight! Gonna have to fuck this beautiful pussy a few times so you can used to me,” he huffed, bottoming out.

“Jesus Christ!” you cried, getting lost in the pleasurable pain that was him stretching you out.

“So perfect for me,” Andy grunted, slowly starting to move within you. “How are you so....fuck, this is better than anything I’ve ever imagined. I’ve been dreaming of this for so long...now you’re all mine!”

“Fuck, don’t stop! You feel so good!”

“Yeah? Shawn ever fill you up this much?”

“Never!” you whimpered, tightening your grip. “I don’t think I can...fuck, I’m gonna cum!”

“Give it to me, kitten,” he demanded, pounding harder and harder into your pussy. “Coat my cock with your sweet cum,” he whispered hotly against your ear, before licking and biting on it.

“Fuck! Andy!” you cried out, coming undone almost on command.

“I love you so much,” he moaned, clenching his eyes shut, trying to hold back his own release. “I’m gonna show you over and over again just how much I love you. You want that baby? You want me to fuck you senseless?”

“Fuck Andy,” you whined, clawing at his back “please do it! I wanna feel you cum deep inside my pussy! Show me how much you love me,” you pleaded, part of you in disbelief at the words leaving your mouth.

“Do you love me, baby?” he asked breathlessly, opening his eyes to meet your gaze.

You wanted to lie so bad but he was literally fucking the truth out of you. “So much, Andy. I don’t wanna fight it anymore! I...I don’t care if you ruin me for anyone else! I just....fuck Andy, just like that! I just want to love and feel you, only you!” you whimpered, before pulling him closer to you for a passionate and powerful kiss.

Andy fucked you into sunrise that night; only stopping to make you beg. When you woke up later that afternoon, he was still sound asleep. You quickly snuck out of the room and got dressed as quick as you could, trying your best to ignore the guilt you felt when you saw Professor Daniel’s sweatpants on the floor by the sofa. While you were on your way home, after you snuck out, she called you and asked you how your night went. You kept the facade up the entire call, pretending that you had gone to sleep almost instantly.

When you got back to your apartment, you broke down cried for hours. You showered and tried to scrub the previous night off of you, but you knew that you’d never be able to. That night would live in your memory forever.

Andy let you ignore him for two days before he showed up at your apartment and claimed you in your own little kitchen.

He spent the rest of Winter Break with you and you almost let yourself forget that you were a homewrecker. He truly didn’t want just sex from you. He took an interest in the shows you liked, made you dinner, took you out to different jazz clubs and nice restaurants, and indulged in your silly obsession with ‘Mad Libs’. It really felt like you two were a happy couple...until Winter Break was over.

Then Professor Daniels came back and you were forced to remember how terrible you truly were.

The sight of them together made you truly sick and angry. Angry mainly with yourself, because how could you have been so stupid? However, you were also angry with Professor Daniels for being with Andy, because he was yours. He made a habit of telling you that every time you two had sex that you both belong to one another. However, if that was the case, then why hadn’t he broken up with her?

This thought only made you more fed up with yourself, because you fell for it. You became one of the women you always made fun of. The type of woman your dad chased around and cheated on his young brides with.

“Fuck you, Andy!” you yelled, as he pleaded with you to just hear him out, as he followed you around your small apartment. “I don’t want to hear it! You parade her around in public and fuck me senseless when no one’s looking, right?! I’m the stupid little college side piece, right?! Jesus, you have me furious with the one person who gives a fuck about me!”

“I give-”

“Don’t! Don’t fucking tell me you give a shit about me when you have me going through this!”

“Y/N, please just listen to me,” he begged, placing his hand on your shoulder.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” you yelled, turning around and slapping him hard across the face. “Get out!”

“Do it again,” Andy said lowly after a beat “slap me again.”

You slapped him again but harder, “I said to get out!”

“Do it again,” he growled.

*SLAP* “Get-” you were cut off by Andy’s lips crashing into yours.

He shoved you against the wall and kissed you again. “I almost went to jail for you Kitten, , and you’re gonna stand here and tell me I don’t care about you?” growled, pinning your hands above your head. “Those fucking diamonds around your neck aren’t proof that I love you?”

“I don’t care about the fucking diamonds!” you spat! “Love me only and stop making me a second choice!”

“I will figure it out! It’s not the right time and you know it,” he muttered against your neck,using one hand to force your pants and panties down before undoing his own pants. “You want to hurt her?”

“We’re already hurting her!” you snapped, hating how desperate your body was for him. “This is wrong and it needs to stop!” you yelled, fighting against him to no avail.

In one swift move, Andy used his free hand to force your legs around his waist before plunging into you. “We won’t stop this because we can’t stop it. I’m a selfish fuck and I’m not going to give you up. We will be together once I figure out how to do it and can hurt her as little as possible,” he grunted, each thrust coming harder and harder.

“Andy,” you moaned, arching your back to feel as much of him as possible “we can’t....fuck! This is...holy shit, this is wrong!”

“It’s not so wrong when I fuck you senseless in the back of the library is it?” he questioned as he shoved two fingers into to your tightest hole.

“Oh my God!” you mewled, leaning your head back against the wall.

“How about when I fuck you in the bathroom at your job, hmm? Or when I have you exploding all over my desk at work? Does it feel so bad then?”

“Shit!” you cried out. You hated how he made you feel so good and so terrible at the same time.

“Or how about last week, huh?”

“Don’t,” you moaned, finally making eye contact with him.

“When I fucked you right after she left. Making me tell you that your pussy is better than hers. Was it wrong then? Cause you were begging like a pretty little whore while you were bouncing up and down on my cock!” he grunted, feeling your walls clench around him as you tried to fight off your release. “Oh? You like that memory? Tell me which part you like the best: the part where I told you that this pussy was the best I’ve ever had, or the part where you were on your knees for me as soon as you locked the door? Maybe, it’s just the fact that she didn’t know I was there and had no clue that I had you calling me Daddy all day,” he taunted, feeling you clench around him again. “Oh, that’s it. You love it don’t you?”

“No,” you mewled, refusing to accept that you were that awful of a person.

“Yes you do, don’t try to deny it while I’m inside you,” he grunted, finger fucking your ass faster. “You love that I can’t quit you and you can’t quit me. No matter how terrible you feel, you love the fact that I keep choosing you over her!”

“You clearly...shit! You don’t choose me! I’m still playing...playing second fiddle to her!”

“She plays second fiddle to you! Who do you think I’m thinking of when I fuck her? Do you know how close I’ve come to moaning your name when I’m inside her? Fuck, I can’t even get it up without thinking of you! Do you know how sick that makes me? I am constantly choosing you...fuck! I will make this right,” he grunted, as you came undone all over his cock, sending him off into his own earth shattering orgasm. He leaned his head against your chest and took a moment to catch his breath. “I promise you that I will make this right, I just...I just need time,” he panted.

That conversation had happened almost 8 months ago. You kept letting it slide, because he kept promising you that things would change. It didn’t matter how terrible you felt after sex or how loved you felt after every date, because he would choose you. He always promised he would choose you, so you waited and hung on to his every word.

You fooled yourself into thinking that every thing was fine until, Professor Daniels showed at your apartment in tears.

“I know he’s cheating, Y/N. I just know it! I’ve found panties that aren’t mine on more than one occasion, there were lipstick smears on his pillow last night, and he’s distant. He’s so fucking distant!”

“Just calm down, please,” you begged, grabbing tissues and ignoring the extreme guilt you were feeling. How could he have been so careless? So heartless? How could you be so heartless? “Have you talked to him about it?”

“He won’t talk to me! He just swears the underwear is mine and that I’m making something out of nothing! I know the kind of clothes I wear and I would never wear anything like that!” she sobbed before harshly blowing her nose. “It’s probably that little slut, Samantha. She sleeps with all of the professors,” she sniffed.

“Michelle, don’t do that! Why don’t you just leave him?”

“Because I love him, Y/N,” she sobbed, looking you in the eyes. “I love him so much and I just can’t walk away.”

And that’s how you wound up in Andy’s apartment. Waiting for him to get off the phone, you play with your hands and take a deep breath. Last night made you certain that whatever was going on between you and Andy needs to come to an end.

“Hey, I thought I wasn’t see you until later,” he smiles, walking in ready to kiss you, but you back away.

“We can’t do this anymore, Andy,” you say softly, looking towards your feet.

“Y/N-”

“No Andy,” you interrupt, taking a deep breath “she came over last night and cried to me for hours about how she knows you’re cheating on her and how much she loves you and can’t bring herself to walk away. How could you leave my underwear lying around? Not change the pillow covers? Christ Andy!”

“I figured she’d see it and hate me, leave, and you’d be in the clear,” he sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. “I just wanted you to be in the clear,”

“Andy,” you sigh, blinking back tears “she should hate me. It’s the least of what I deserve. What we’ve been doing is so incredibly...I hate myself. What the fuck were we thinking?! What are we doing?! I was so stupid-”

“Y/N, don’t do this to yourself,” Andy interrupts. “I made you do this and-”

“Oh come on, don’t do that. Don’t try to shield me. You may be the older one, but we’re both adults,” you scoff. “You didn’t make me do anything I didn’t want to do. No, I fell in love with someone who was with someone else, someone who means the world to me, and I chose that over her. I was so desperate for everything you made me feel...your love, but I can’t be with you, Andy. Being with you means she’s out of my life for good. My happiness has to come at the expense of her broken heart? What kind of a monster does that make me?” you question, tears finally falling from your eyes.

“Please, we can figure this out-”

“Andy, there’s nothing to figure out! There’s no way I can have you both in my life and it’s my selfishness that that led to this. They’re so many times I could have and should have walked away, but I just...this would have been so much easier if it was just sex. I could have walked away months ago, but no. I love you and maybe I always have, but this...”

“Y/N, I already told you. I didn’t even mean for her and I to end up together!”

“But you did-”

“Only because it felt like the right thing! I thought I could be with her and all of this would go away! I’d be with someone my own age and would stop obsessing over you! Fuck, none of this was supposed to go this way!” Andy sighed, his own tears starting to spill over as he ran a frustrated hand through his hair.

“Andy...I can’t do this. I don’t deserve you and I sure as shit don’t deserve to have her in my life. This can’t go on anymore, Andy. We’ve done enough damage,” you sob quietly, as you come to terms with the decision yourself. “Thank you...for loving me, showing me what it’s like to be actually loved...I’m sorry,”

“Y/N, after some time-”

“I just don’t think I can take anymore of this,” a voice comes from the spare bedroom. The door opens to reveal a teary eyed Professor Daniels.

“Michelle,” you gasp, covering your mouth. “Michelle please...I-”

“Just...just tell me every thing, from the beginning,”

“I just-”

“Not from you,” she snaps coldly “from you,” she breathes as her attention turns to Andy.

He takes a deep breath and runs his hands through his hair, again. “It’s only right, take a seat and I’ll tell you everything.”

@whxre4cevans, @sweetflowerdreams, @itsbrittany425,

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thevirgodoll · 4 years

Text

Doll Diaries: Becoming the Woman You Desire

This is a requested post in response to an anonymous question.

You must acknowledge that you can be the woman you desire with layers. You can be assertive, but classy. You can be confident, but humble. There is no black and white scenario, you create components of your desired personality. The reason why I have posted Phylicia, Aaliyah, Olivia, and Beyoncé is because they all have qualities that I relate to and admire. Aaliyah and Beyoncé specifically can explain who The Virgo Doll is at her core, because I naturally relate to them as people. I will give you an analysis of what you can learn from the women I have mentioned to become the woman you desire.

1. Poise

Phylicia is known for playing Clair Huxtable, and it was an easy role because in real life, she is that same woman. Clair Huxtable was known for her poise, as I have mentioned on my blog in another post. When met with ignorance, Clair eloquently addresses it while defending herself. You will never see someone like her out of control of her emotions. She was highly intelligent (more than Cliff) and a successful wife and mother. She was never caught looking disheveled because she knew that she came first. She also had self awareness to last a lifetime.

What you can learn: Clair Huxtable’s Poise

•Handle conflict gracefully. No subtweets, no drama, just direct and simple. Only speak if you have something beneficial to share. Avoid gossip, and avoid mean spirited comebacks. Speak with truth and grace.

•You can be the woman you desire. You can have the career, the family, and the wisdom to do it all well.

•Your intelligence speaks for you. There is nothing to prove. Always seek to build your intelligence, and learn more.

•Be self aware. Reflect on life through practices such as journaling, expressions of gratitude, and prayer. Know how you’re feeling at all times. Know when to take time for you. Know that you come first. All of these things will balance you and you will avoid snapping on others because you have taken time for yourself.

-> Example: Clair Huxtable addresses ignorance in her home from Elvin

2. Maturity & Clarity

Aaliyah was adored because she had wisdom beyond her years. She was mentally ahead of other women her age. She had maturity that grew even more with time, and it set her apart from the rest. Anytime she spoke, it was from the heart. She was a good conversationalist, and kept everyone’s interest. She was alluring because she was truly a mature woman and knew how to conduct herself in the public eye.

What you can learn: Aaliyah’s Maturity & Clarity

•Have a warm spirit. Be genuine. People will naturally be drawn to your authenticity in a world full of wannabes. Stay true to yourself and your values.

•Know the value of social skills. Being articulate and well spoken will naturally make you mature. Take time to answer, be careful with your words, and keep eye contact. Enunciate, and avoid mumbling. Keep an appropriate volume when speaking, and have a reasonable pace when expressing your thoughts.

•Be trustworthy and dependable. Be true to your word. Your word is all you have, and your word is what everyone will remember.

•Know the significance of subtlety and simplicity. Keep things subtle, and don’t try too hard. Keep your sense of style timeless. Embrace your sensuality, but keep it modest enough to create mystery and allure.

3. Confidence

The fictional character, Olivia Pope, is known for her confidence. Above all, she knew the importance of her own opinion and intuition. She trusted herself, even when it was hard. She acknowledged shortcomings, while highlighting her strengths. She didn’t display arrogance, but an air of humble assurance. She had boundaries, and often expressed them in her relationships. She knew her worth. Kerry Washington even said that playing Olivia taught her about strength, resilience, and courage.

What we can learn: Olivia Pope’s Confidence

•Trust yourself. Validate your perspective. Be respectful of differing opinions, while firm in your stance. When something needs to be said, know when and how to say it.

•Have clear sight of what you want in life, and make goals. Don’t let other people get in the way of your dreams. Be a leader, not a follower.

•Know how to plan. Make it a habit of planning what you’re going to do, and eventually you will naturally make the right decision based on your intuition.

•Create clear boundaries. Do not let others violate you or dishonor you. Don’t apologize for what is important to you. Know your worth, if anything. Let it speak for itself. Know that there is nobody like you, and that you’re someone that others want to be.

-> Example: Olivia Pope “Earn Me”

4. Privacy, Charisma, & Work Ethic

Beyoncé is someone to be admired for her private nature on social media. She will not air out all of her business, even if it’s career related. She understands the element of surprise. When vulnerable, she withdraws and checks in with herself. She knows her limits. Bey is also known for her undeniable charisma. She has always had a standout personality, and it showed in her days in a girl group without her trying. Lastly, her work ethic has been commended by her peers. She is a hard worker, and will not stop until everything is right to her. She sets the bar for herself. She believed in herself, even when the record label said she wouldn’t have hits on her debut. “I guess they were kinda right, I had five.”

What we can learn: Beyoncé’s Privacy, Charisma, & Work Ethic

•Don’t reveal everything. Maintain a semblance of privacy, especially with acquaintances.

•Always do your best. Your best is enough at the end of the day, even when other people don’t think so. All that matters is that you’re giving the best that you have in everything you do. Seek excellence in every facet of your life, and watch magic happen. Have high standards.

•Be independent. Rely on yourself at all times. Advocate for yourself. Be your own best friend first.

•Make it a point to make other people remember you. Be unforgettable. Don’t talk about yourself, but let everything speak for you. Have straight posture, impeccable style, and an attitude that doesn’t make room for haters.

Hope this helps! Your dream journey awaits.

xoxo, thevirgodoll <3

#dolldiaries #confidence

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incorrectmarvelquotesss · 3 years

Text

The Night’s End

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky goes for a walk after a nightmare and stops at a bookshop open at 2 am. ❤️‍🔥📚

Warnings: death, violence, choking, gunshots, blood and bruises, angst, strong language, mentions of physical and mental abuse, PTSD talks, a little fluff

A/N: My first fic! I hope you guys enjoy! I won’t be doing many fics, but for reaching 200 followers I thought why not? This is not edited yet. I’ve got a few requests which I am writing. Once they are done, they’ll be posted. If you want to be tagged in these fics, send an ask. Enjoy!

He watched the body fall to the ground with a soft thud, muffled by the carpet underneath the young man. He stood still even though every part of heart was whispering to him in a loud voice to run to the young man and help him. His brain kept him still, not moving even an inch until the young man took his last breath, draining the life out of him.

He stood still for another second, an instinct that was drilled into him to check if the target was really dead or not. After making sure the young man was dead from the gunshot wound, he walked backwards, slipping the pistol into its holster on his tactical suit. He turned around abruptly, stopping short as he saw a young woman, eyes flickering over the scene. Her eyes darted to him, fearful and shocked.

“Please,” she whispered into the air, voice raspy and shaking. “I won’t tell anyone.”

He cocked his head to the side a little, walking nearer to her. He could smell her strong perfume, scented with citrus fruits of sorts. He walked closer, stopping only a foot away from, watching as a predator would to his prey.

She squirmed and shrank under his gaze, holding onto the doorknob with one hand behind her when it jabbed her back. She clutched her purse in the other hand, knuckles turning white. A bead of sweat trickled down the side of her temple. She wiped it hastily with the back of her hand clutching the purse.

“No,” he answered simply before his metal hand darted out to choke the woman. His hand gripped her throat tightly, arm whirring with mechanical parts. It clicked and buzzed as he pushed her head back to the door. This was all second nature to him.

Killing and murder. He was a monster that no one could tame. He knew that and so did Hydra.

Bucky shot up with a gasp, clutching the blanket on the ground. His heart was pounding in his ears with beads of sweat gliding down his forehead. A thin layer of sweat covered his body, glistening in the dim light of the television still playing. He looked up at it, blue eyes still trying to focus on the light, and noticed the soccer match playing. Although he had no interest in it, he watched each movement of the players carefully. He studied each movement before the whistle was blown and it was halftime.

He blew out a breath, a little happy that he could distract himself for a while from his nightmares. More like memories, said a bitter voice at the back of his head. He cringed and felt the gut wrenching feeling making its way to his heart. It happened every night and each night he would feel guilt seep into his bones for his soulmate. His soulmate could probably feel his panic and guilt at the moment, but he was surprised to feel a bit of curiosity that didn’t belong to him.

He felt a tug on his blanket, also tugging him out of his thoughts, and faced the white feline he had adopted a few weeks back. Alpine. Alpine’s big eyes looked up at him, head-butting his flesh hand close to her. He almost smiled as his hand started to scratch Alpine behind her ear and she purred softly. A few seconds later, she left abruptly and jumped onto the couch to go back to sleep.

Bucky let out a huff of breath which he would count as a laugh. He looked to his side where his phone was—not the flip phone he showed to his therapist. This was a sleek, new model of the latest phone in which he used multiple things in, like Tinder. He was trying to get into dating again, mostly hoping that he could find his soulmate.

He was, the least to say, surprised when he found out that he even had a soulmate in this time. He had thought that Dot, the girl he practically swooned over in the 40s, was his only soulmate. He had been so sure. Their tattoos were stars with a simple dot at the top of one of the points. But when he had been in Hydra’s capture, it had changed. Now it was a heart with a simple swirl in it.

He tapped the screen of his phone twice and squinted his eyes at the sudden brightness. The lock screen was a simple picture of Alpine. Well, she was cuddling with Bucky on the couch, but Bucky had cropped himself out of the picture. He looked at the numbers staring back at him.

1:26.

He blinked once and then shut the phone off. He looked out the window and huffed before getting up, shoving the blanket off of his legs. He grabbed a pair of grey sweatpants off of the couch that he had taken off when he brought his blanket out to the living room, sweating from his last nightmare. Memory. He hopped on one foot as he slipped one leg in and then repeated it for the next leg. He grabbed a burgundy hoodie, pulling it over his head as he turned around and picked up his phone—just in case.

Taking one last look at his apartment, he pulled on some socks and shoes and took the keys from the bowl. He opened the door and slid out, keeping his eyes focused on everything around him. Old habits die hard, he thought as he shoved his keys and phone into his pocket, feeling his wallet as he did so. He must have forgotten to take it out yesterday.

He dashed out of the building, waving a little to the secretary at the front desk as politely as he could. She gave him a flirtatious smile, which he ignored because she was married. He didn’t flirt with married women, even if he didn’t flirt anymore these days.

He stepped out of the building, feeling the cool night breeze flow through his hoodie, glad that he didn’t wear a shirt—the cool air felt great against his hot body. The effects of the nightmare were still there; sweat, eyes flickering around, ears on high alert. The moon was shining brightly in the clear sky with splatters of stars like white paint. The stars seemed to twinkle, shimmering like glitter.

Bucky smiled slightly, remembering when Morgan had covered his arm in glitter. He looked down and started to walk down the sidewalk, thinking of his life in the 40s. He had always loved to stargaze and explore more about space. Back in the 40s, everything was on books, but now Bucky could search up everything he wanted, whenever and wherever.

“Hey, you going somewhere?” He looked up to see a man standing on the curb, leaning against a car, talking to a woman. The woman had tensed up and clutched her purse. Bucky slowed down, trying to catch what was gonna happen.

“Just down the block,” she said, voice shaking a little. The man crossed his arms and gestured to his car with his head.

“I’ll drop you off,” his voice was ruff, but there was a slight gentleness and sadness to it. “It ain’t safe out here for a girl like you. My sister wasn’t safe either.”

The woman’s head whipped around to look at the man. Her eyes were searching for a hint of lie, Bucky thought, watching the scene unfold. “I’m sorry,” she said when she thought that the man was sincere.

“It’s alright,” the man said, pushing himself off the car. “Beat the guy when she told me, but the police here didn’t do anything more than a restraining order. I can walk you if you want, unless you're trained in karate or something.” This emitted a laugh out of the woman.

Bucky was almost beside them, keeping his head low. He moved a bit over so that he would walk behind the woman.

“Find your soulmate yet?” He asked, making the woman touch her wrist.

Bucky knew why he had asked that. A soulmate could feel your feelings and pain—not as bad, like a needle—something that Bucky always hated. He felt the guilt whenever he had gotten hurt over a mission or even when he had nightmares, he always thought about his soulmate. On the other hand, he had felt happiness spread throughout his body from his soulmate. There had been a couple of times where he felt a pang of sadness, but it was usually replaced with calm and quietness.

“No,” she replied with a soft voice.

“Me neither,” the man gave a toothy grin as Bucky passed the two. The woman giggled as the man said, “Mine is a circle with an arrow in it. Yours?”

The woman gasped and, Bucky assumed that she pulled up her sleeve, then heard the man chuckle.

Bucky zoned them out, trying to ignore the pang of pain in his chest. He took out his phone, desperately trying to forget about soulmates. He quickly read through all the updates Sam had sent.

Sarah and the kids are doing great. Hope you are, too. <Sent 2d ago

The kids really want you back and guess what? I found her! She’s perfect. Her name’s Aaliyah and I want you to meet her bro. <Sent 1d ago

Bucky sighed, not finding what he was hoping for. But he sent back a text anyway, feeling like he owed Sam a little ‘I’m fine and alive’ text.

That’s amazing! I’ll see you all next Sunday like we planned. You should bring Aaliyah and introduce us. <Delivered 2m ago

He shut off his phone and looked around. He was near the lane of shops and most of them were closed. There was an all-nighter pub and pharmacy, but one particular shop caught his eye. It was a bookshop he had wanted to visit a few times now, but never got the chance. It was still open by the looks of it and Bucky wasn’t doing anything else.

He started towards it, hoping that the lights on meant it was still open. He did wonder why it was open at this odd time, but as he approached the shop it was more clear why. A woman was walking around the shelves, helping sleepy teenagers and adults stay awake and giving them coffee to fuel them.

Her H/C was flowing freely while her E/C were flickering around the shop. Her hands held a stack of books and a tray of coffee. The books were all different topics and authors, Bucky could tell. Her face was soft as she placed a book on a teenager’s table and smiled slightly. The teenager looked up at her and smiled. She said something to him and then smiled before walking around the shelves again. She looked up as if she felt his eyes on her, but she quickly turned when a man came up behind her.

Bucky felt a pang of jealousy in his stomach. It was a feeling that he couldn’t ignore and it only got stronger as the man placed a hand on her arm, rubbing it up and down. She nodded as the man spoke, a smile creeping up on her face. She threw her back laughing, covering her mouth as she shook her head. She looked at the customers, apologizing sheepishly at her outburst. She put the books and empty tray on the counter and put her hands on the man’s shoulder, talking seriously. He nodded once, jaw clenching. She patted his shoulders, a smile back on her face as the man started for the door.

Bucky realized that he had been staring and started to walk towards the door. The man had gotten there first, flinging the door open just as Bucky reached for it. The man smiled tiredly and turned to the side, allowing Bucky to slip by. He nodded as a silent thanks.

“No problem, bud,” he said, nodding slightly, and stepped out the door.

Bucky looked behind him before taking in the bookshop. The big shelves filled the three walls, including behind the counter the woman stood behind, flipping through a book. There were four seats at the three tables that were set in the middle. There were more shelves vertically placed close to two of the walls.

Bucky started to walk but felt a small burn on his wrist. He felt it itch as if he gotten a terrible rash, but it stopped in a heartbeat. He stopped abruptly, knowing exactly what it meant. He pulled his sleeve up, looking down at his flesh wrist where the once black, now gold, soulmate tattoo.

His soulmate was close by.

He looked up and saw the woman staring back at him with wide eyes.

“Hi,” she said breathlessly. Her eyes were scanning his face for any emotion, but Bucky knew she couldn’t. His mask was up, the guard that he would put up when he didn’t want anyone to know how he was feeling. It worked for Steve, Sam, even Natasha. But the woman only shook her head. “Won’t work. I can feel your emotions.”

He nodded once. “I know.” He was feeling joy, but there was more. More emotions flooding him in waves. Anxiousness. Shocked. Guilt.

“Stop thinking for a second,” she whispered, smiling sweetly at him, “and breathe.” He inhaled deeply and held it in for a few seconds before letting it go. He had unconsciously moved closer to the counter and her.

“I’m Bucky,” he blurted out, putting his hand on the counter. She giggled at his flustered face and if Bucky said that wasn’t the most sweetest thing Bucky ever heard, he’d be lying.

“I’m Y/N,” she replied, holding out a hand for him to shake. He glanced at it before putting his hands in hers. “Just a sec.” She had looked over his shoulder and nodded her head. He glanced over his shoulder to see another teenager looking at Y/N with a small desperation in her eyes. Y/N grabbed a book from behind her and then turned around, holding the book up. The teenager ran over and grabbed the book from her hand, hugging her as well. Y/N giggled again and Bucky felt his heart skip a beat.

“What is this?” He asked once the teenager sat down on her seat again. Y/N bit her lip and leaned over the counter, her elbows holding her up.

“A support group of a sort, I guess,” she answered, shrugging slightly. “School’s not exactly relaxing.”

“And staying up late?”

“They’ve got a long weekend.” She giggled again and Bucky could swear his heart actually stopped beating for a second. Bucky gulped and nodded. His mind flashed images of just before; the man, Y/N, her laughter.

“Who was that?” Bucky blurted out before he could bite his tongue. Y/N straightened up, a teasing smile on her face.

“Are you feeling threatened by a teenager?”

He could hear the light teasing behind her words and felt a fondness towards her. It had been a while since someone had joked around with him. He smiled for the first time in a while and shook his head. “I meant the man that left before I came in.”

“Oh!” She laughed, shaking her head and saying, “No, no,” repeatedly. She stopped laughing, giggles still escaping her mouth. “That’s my cousin. He’s closer than a brother, though, TJ.”

Bucky felt his ears and cheeks heat up, turning red, no doubt, with embarrassment. “Okay.” Bucky felt a prickle of guilt behind all the embarrassment, but it didn’t belong to him.

“I’m not lying,” Y/N said, noticing that Bucky could feel her emotion. “I’m just used to joking around and I don’t really know if you’re okay with it or not. It’s just that you got uncomfortable all of a sudden and I thought that… I’m sorry.” She winced at her ramble, but looked at Bucky with soft eyes when he started to chuckle. She bit her lips, holding back her smile at his laughter. It was a sweet sound and she felt as if she could listen to it for eternity.

“It’s fine,” he sighed, eyes twinkling. “It’s been a while since someone joked around the Winter Soldier.” He cringed as he let it slip, shutting his eyes for a second. He opened them, expecting Y/N to be scared or fear him, but he found none of that. Instead he saw and felt her curiosity spark.

“I’ve heard about that,” she said slowly, choosing her words carefully. “You were captured by Hydra and taken control over, but now they have no control over you.” Y/N had left out several parts of his past, but he had a feeling that she knew everything anyway.

Bucky nodded curtly. “Yeah. That’s one way to put it.” She smiled softly at him, hand reaching out for his left one.

She didn’t care, Bucky thought with a small surprise. He didn’t feel any fear or anxiousness from her. It was all admiration and curiosity and warmth.

The dark night that plagued him had finally ended.

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larrysballetslippers · 3 years

Text

Welcome to my page, let’s talk for a minute.

I’m Aaliyah (Liyah), hello (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ

I’m 21 years old and my pronouns are she/her

I live in the Netherlands.

I’m studying Public Administration. I have many social opinions I would like to share, if somebody wants to discuss them with me, feel free to send an ask.

I rant about unimportant stuff. Also about my mental health and life.

I’m a Larrie, I don’t believe in any stunts and I want Louis to *** **.

I’m a Fanfic writer. Mainly fluff, kinky smut and... kinky smut.

I like to be creative in many ways, I paint, write, draw, knit (rarely) and like to design things. I make moodboards for fics as well.

Music nerd, but can’t play any instruments or sing.

I believe in astrology, like for real. I’m a Gemini sun, Gemini moon and a Scorpio rising. I love talking about it, and I'll rant about it!!

ENFP :)

I’m a soft person, like really soft and fluffy. I don’t like to feel anxious (duh), so I try to avoid too many triggers. I don’t like to watch scary movies or go on rollercoasters. Butterflies scare me... I think you get it.

I love pastels and cute things.

I love cats, but I don’t have one :(

Dancing in my bedroom and simping over my boys is all I do.

Music artists I love: Conan Gray, Lauv, Valley, Little mix, Ashe, Zach Hood, Lyn Lapid, Jeremy Zucker, Cloudy June, Hayley Kiyoko, Fletcher, Taylor Swift, Alexander 23, Beach Bunny, JORDY, Maisie Peters and the boys from One Direction (mainly Louis Harry and Niall).

Painters I adore: Monet, Rembrandt, Carravagio, Bernini, Vermeer, Friedrich, and any Baroque painter.

I consider myself a nice person, at least I try to be, so you can always talk to me if you want. I’m almost 24/7 on here, cause I have nothing better to do. I hope you have a wonderful day. Remember to TPWK<3

This is me btw:

My tags: here

My fic blog: @ficsfor4am

My writeblr: @angelicminds

Mod of @1dastroficfest @1dreligionfest @1ddaddybrattyfest

Part of the @1drarepairfics gang✌

Admin of the @1dlibrary

#my life #my face #I wanted to create a separate post so I don't lose it #and you can see it on your phone

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hoodharlow · 3 years

Text

The Tick-Tock Song

AN: So yesterday Luke celebrated ten years of inventing singing, so y’all get some dad!Luke.

Requested? No

Warnings: shmoot (smut)

Word Count: about 2100 words

“Rory is still sleepin’.” Luke said lifting Aaliyah onto the counter. He caged her in, hands softly drumming on her ass. “I’ll be quick.”

“I don’t wanna get messy.” She mumbled, knowing that he wasn’t going to budge. Luke pecked her jaw down to her sweet spot as one of his hands was already toying her panties. She dropped her shoulders in defeat and sighed. “You got five minutes”

Luke let out an incoherent squeal, earning a giggle from Aaliyah. He wrapped her legs around his waist and carried her to the living room. He pinned her up against the wall next to their paino. He innocently kissed her, reveling in how restless she got after a few pecks.

Impatiently she untied her wrap dress, revealing her black lace number she was saving for when Rory went to bed. Luke was rendered speechless. He ran his hands over the set. Squeezing and cupping her breasts through the bra, earning a soft moan from her. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed him. Without breaking their kiss, he skillfully unclasped her bra, tossing it over his shoulder. Luke got down on his knees and kissed all over her tummy. He lowered the waistband of her panties and kissed the small birthmark on her hip bone.

With that Luke gripped the sides and tore her panties off .

"Seriously!" Aaliyah exclaimed.

"I have five minutes. Taking them off would have a long time" Luke shrugged as he gently pushed Aaliyah against the wall. Meeting her gaze, he licked his lips and slowly kissed up her thighs, knowing how his beard against her thighs was her undoing. He adjusted her legs for better access to her and began to eat her out.

She arched back as she rocked her hips meeting Luke’s tongue. She regretted only giving him five minutes. She sighed when he pulled away and peppered kissed inside her thighs.

Their eyes met. The loving gaze Luke had switched into a mischievous smirk. Without looking away, he bent his head a little and sucked on her clit. The grip she had one his curls tightened when Luke squeezed her ass as he continued to devour her. He removed one of hands from her ass and used his fingers to slowly rub her clit.

"Luke," She moaned.

"Hurry up Al, your five minutes are almost up." He taunted, as he slipped his ring and middle finger and slowly thrusted in her. He kissed her birthmark once more and went back to eating her out.

Aaliyah felt a familiar tug in her stomach. Before she could process what was happening, she

yelled out Luke's name pleasure. He continued to rub her clit until her climax wore down. He

gently dropped her leg and held on to her hips keeping her balanced.

He stood up and tucked a stray curl behind her ear, leaning in he whispered. “Your five minutes are up.”

“I fucking hate you, you know. You can’t just eat me out and go about your day.” She pouted.

“You’re the one that has to be at the studio all day with Normani and Gallant. If I had it my way, you wouldn’t be leaving.” he told her, kissing her jaw. “You’re the reason why I can’t keep you all to myself.”

Aaliyah checked the time on the clock behind Luke, weighing her options. She looked back to Luke, fingers toying with the ends of his curls.

“What can you do in ten minutes?” She asked him curiously.

“Make you cum, but I’m gonna need you on all fours on the couch.”

***

After an uneventful morning with Rory, Luke was getting her ready for the studio. Since it was last minute, he couldn’t leave her with her nanny. He gently stretched the opening of Rory’s cream knitted sweater so he wouldn’t mess up her hair and pulled her arms out. He held up her sage green and navy strap-on Velcro Converse for her to pick. She pointed to green ones and he put them on her. He checked her hair once more and got her out of her bed. Hand in hand they walked to the kitchen.

Luke packed some snacks and drinks for Rory while she played with Petunia. The band’s producer called them to the studio because part of what they had recorded for their newest single was erased. So they had to go and record their song because the song was coming out next Friday. From the corner of his eye caught Rory walking over to the living room.

“Daddy, mommy’s boob holder.” Rory said, coming back seconds later with Aaliyah’s black lace bra in one hand, and in the other her golden retriever picture book.

“She must’ve dropped it when she was folding clothes.” He said taking the bra to the laundry room, tossing it on top of the washing machine.

When he came back to the kitchen, Luke found Rory sitting on her activity table paging through her book. She marked the dog she liked with a gold star sticker. That was her third dog book she’s gold starred. Him and Aaliyah have put together the dots—in this case gold stars— and figured out she wants another dog. They're just waiting on her to tell them.

They already came up with an explanation on why they can't have another dog yet. Though when they go to the farmer's market, Aaliyah steers them away from the adoption stand. She knows Luke all too well and how Rory has him tightly wrapped around her finger. If their daughter asked him for a puppy, he would agree in a heartbeat.

“All set love?” Luke asked her when he finished packing her food.

“Yes!” She said closing her book.

She hopped off her chair and pushed it in. Grabbing her picture book and stickers, she followed Luke out to the car.

The drive to the studio wasn’t long and fortunately the parking lot was empty. Luke grabbed everything for Rory to keep herself entertained while him and the guys worked. She was normally calm when they were in the studio, but he never liked being ill prepared. He opened the trunk and pulled her sleeping mat in case she wanted to nap.

He closed the door and walked over to the studio. When he reached the lobby, he left like something was missing. He checked his music backpack and Rory’s backpack. Everything was there. Extra diapers and juice boxes were packed and ready when needed. He looked around hoping that it would help him remember. He caught his reflection on the elevator door and that was when he realized.

“Fuck, my baby.” He cursed. He dropped his things and ran back out to the parking lot. He found her sitting on the parking block with her book open. “Rory?”

“Hi daddy.” she said, not looking away from her book.

“You okay? Nothing happened to you right?” He asked, his voice full of panic.

“No,” she looked up and smiled at him. “Can I have juice?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “I’ll give you one when we’re inside.”

Rory nodded and got up. Luke picked her up and carried her inside. He shifted her on his hip and bent down to pick up their things. He sped walking them to their designated room.

“Took you long enough.” Ashton grumbled to Luke when he opened the door. He looked down at Rory and smiled sweetly at her. “Hello Rory.”

“Hi uncle Ash.” She said softly walking in.

She settled on the bench, going back to her book and gold stars. Luke and the guys reconvened by the sound booth and went over their notes from the previous recording sessions. Their upcoming single was sonically very similar to Killer Queen. Which meant they were recording the song the same they recorded the cover.

Occasionally Luke checked in on Rory. She spent most of the time with her book and eating white cheddar Goldfish with her juice. After three hours he noticed her get restless. She sat on one of the extra chairs and spun around. Luke stepped out of the booth countless times to tell her to stop because she could hurt herself.

The band finally got the harmonies they wanted after another hour. Their producer suggested a fifteen minute break. As they all stepped out of the booth, a loud crashing sound came from where Rory was. Luke nearly tripped over the cables to get to her. The chair she was spinning on had fallen on top of her. He removed the chair off her and picked her up.

"For fucks sake, Rory, what did I say?" He asked her in a stern tone. He took a deep breath and calmed down before talking to her. "Are you hurt?"

"No," she said quietly.

Luke sat Rory on the couch and noticed her cradling her elbow with one hand. He gently pulled it to him, not wanting to hurt her in case she was. She pulled her hand back and covered her elbow with her hand.

"Rory, let me see." He repeated in his stern voice. She sighed and uncovered her elbow revealing a rip on her sweater.

Rory quickly covered her hand with it once more. "Mommy be mad."

"No, she's not." Luke said. "But this wouldn't have happened if you listened to me. Rory, I told you not to spin."

"I like spin." She tried arguing.

"I know you do, but you almost got hurt, love." He explained.

Luke began to lecture Rory that when she's in the studio she needs to behave because it's very dangerous for her. She looked over to her uncles, who all gave her a 'you're on your own' look.

"Can we go home?" Rory asked after the five minute long lecture.

"Not right now, love. Your uncles and I are still working."

"I wanna go." she huffed crossing her arms.

"I know you do, but we can't."

In response, she angrily pushed her book down and crossed her arms once more. She laid back, annoyed, with her surroundings. She began kicking her backpack.

"Aurora." Luke warned her. When he used her full name, she knew he was being serious. She stopped her movements and sat back. She sleepily rubbed her eyes, making him remember she didn't nap. "Do you wanna go to sleep?"

Rory nodded and yawned. "Tick-Tock song?" she asked him.

"Of course."

Luke turned behind him and reached for his acoustic guitar. He sat in front of her and began playing. It's been a while since he played Mike Posner's song, but he still knew the chords. Rory claimed it's her favorite even if she's only seen him play the song in videos. She even had a video saved on her iPad from a few years back of him and Aaliyah singing the song together.

By the second verse, Rory dozed off. Luke set the guitar down and took off her shoes. He shrugged off his hoodie and covered her with it.

"Hey, my kid's birthday is coming up. Do you by any chance play at kid parties?" Ashton jokingly asked Luke.

He rolled his eyes at him. "I gotta ask my drummer. He's our Kris Jenner."

***

"I'm surprised she even fell asleep." Aaliyah said coming into their room after putting Rory to sleep. "She's out like a light."

"I'm not. Before you got home Petunia was chasing her all over the house." Luke said, patting the space next to him for her to lay in.

"I swear sometimes she has puppy energy. I don't see why Rory wants one when Piggy is right there." She giggled, remembering how during dinner Rory finally asked them for a puppy. She sat them down on her activity table and showed them all the puppies she gold-starred.

"We're shopping at a normal store now. If we go to the farmer's market, we're gonna come back with a puppy."

"No! I like that place. The normal stores are trash. We have to hold a united front. Plus we already agreed to wait until she's like three."

"That's over a year away, Al."

Aaliyah laid her head on Luke's chest. She began to think about how almost six years ago she met Luke and now they have a beautiful daughter together. It feels like time flew by, but at the same time it feels like it has slowed down for them. Like they have all of eternity to be with each other.

"What are you thinking about?" Luke asked her as he rubbed her back.

"Us and how I love you and our baby. I don't time to stop. If we stayed like this forever, I wouldn't mind it." she placed her arms on his chest and rested her chin on them.

"I wouldn't either,” Luke began. He flipped them over so he hovered above her. “But I could stay like this too. Though I rather you be naked and screaming my name.”

TAGLIST: @calumscalm @karajaynetoday @cherryxwildflower @myloverboyash @calpops @idontneedanyone @findingliam-o @5-secondsofcolor @spicycal @sexgodashton @sunshinebabycal @another-lonely-heart @fckingpernico @2fangirl4u Special guests: @twilightmomentswithyou @rebelwith0utacause

#luke hemmings smut #luke hemings one shot #dad!luke #luke hemmings imagine #luke hemmings fanfic #luke hemmings fluff #dad!sos #luke hemmings series

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lonelyreputation · 4 years

Text

Ready

A/N: Hello hi!!! I’m slowly making my way through all my requests! I have like four-ish docs left! Thank you for being patient and dealing with my wonky writing process 🥴 I appreciate you all 🥰

Request: hi, can you write about shawn being there for his wife during labor? like he’s holding her hand through the contractions and whispering how amazing she’s doing while pushing? if you don’t have time i understand. thank you 💗

Also!! I did my best to research giving birth and the stages so this is all based on articles and I may have ~tweaked some stuff I’m not really sure BUT I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless!!!

Warnings: Giving birth, swearing

WC: 3.3K // Fluff

“You sure you don’t want me to get it for you?”

You waved your hands in front of Aaliyah, “Even though I’m pregnant,” you took a deep breath, pushing one hand on the sofa’s cushion as oen rested on your very round stomach, “I can get myself a water.”

“Shawn said––”

“Shawn is upstairs on a phone call,” you rolled your eyes as you leaned forward to pick up your water glass from the coffee table, “Oof.” You squinted an eye shut as you felt a pain in your lower back.

Aaliyah stood up from the couch, taking the water glass from your hand, “Are you alright?”

You waved her off for the second time, “Fine, just some back pain.”

“Do you want me to get––”

“No,” you shot her a glare, and took the water glass from her hand, “I don’t need him for everything.”

Aaliyah followed you into the kitchen as you went to the sink to fill up your water. Once your glass was filled to the top, you shut the faucet off, and turned to see Aaliyah leaning against the kitchen island with a pointed look on her face. You let out a sigh, knowing exactly what the next words out of her mouth were going to be.

“Y/n, your due date is literally in two days you could have this baby at any moment.”

You moved one of the stools back to sit on and placed a caring hand on top of Aaliyah’s, “I appreciate the concern, but I’m fi––Ouch.” You scrunched your eyebrows as a hand automatically went to your stomach.

“What was that?”

You let out a deep breath, the pain prolonging for a moment, before you shook your head, “Just a little pai––pain.”

“Y/n…” Aaliyah’s tone was one of warning, but the smile on her face was growing, “Do I need to interrupt Shawn’s phone call?”

You continued to shake your head, grinding your teeth together, “It’s been happening sporadically throughout the day––”

“You’ve been having contractions and didn’t say anything?” Her eyes bulged out of her head.

“They are not contractions,” You sucked a deep breath in through your nose and slowly let it out, “Braxton-Hicks are co––common.”

Aaliyah’s smile was beaming ear to ear, having an inclination that she would soon be an Aunt. You stayed sitting at the island in silence as Aaliyah looked at you with a gleam, just as bright as her smile, in her eyes.

While you couldn’t wait to welcome your child into the world, you were absolutely petrified of everything that came with raising a child. You were responsible for another person’s life. You had to enroll them in school, make sure they made friends, help them find a passion in life, and teach them lessons in hopes they take them and make smart decisions.

It wouldn’t be you and Shawn against the world anymore; it would be you, Shawn, and your baby.

Two days is still two days, you thought to yourself, this baby isn’t coming out yet.

You pushed yourself back from the island, and just when your feet hit the floor, your eyes widened as you felt something wet trickle down your leg. You didn’t have to look down to know what just happened.

“Aaliyah,” your high-pitched nervous voice only made her smile more, “Interrupt Shawn’s phone call, please.”

Your sister-in-law didn’t need to be told twice before she was running up the stairs, calling out Shawn’s name before she even knocked on the door to his office. Being alone in the kitchen with fluids trickling down your leg, signaling that your water broke, left you terrified. This would be the last time you stood in your kitchen alone because the next time you would have your baby with you.

The harsh steps of Aaliyah and Shawn bolting down the wooden stairs didn’t break you from the trance you found yourself under because all that was floating through your mind was, holy shit, I’m going to be a mom.

“Hey,” Shawn’s gentle voice snapped you out of your paralyzed state. He gently took hold of both of your hands and gave them a light squeeze, “Breathe.” You didn’t realize that your breaths were shaky, close to hyperventilation, but you tried to match the pace of Shawn’s even breathing.

Aaliyah walked over to you with a wet cloth and a dry one, cleaning up the spillage, as Shawn smiled ear-to-ear, “Ready?”

Ready…That one word held so many sub-questions you didn’t even know where to begin. Were you ready to start a new chapter of your life? Ready to add to your little family? Ready to take care of a child with the love of your life?

“I––I’m scared,” your chin wobbled as you felt tears well up in your eyes. There was not a doubt in your mind that you were ready to start a family with Shawn, but you were so scared of messing up.

“I’ll be with you––”

You cut him off with a sharp intake of breath as you gripped his hand as you felt another pain rip through your stomach.

“I think you should go to the hospital,” Aaliyah looked at you with concerned eyes as she held out the hospital bag you and Shawn had prepped a few weeks ago.

Shawn took the bag and slung it over his shoulder, “Hospital, yeah, of course.” He ran a hand through his curls as his eyes darted around the kitchen, “Aaliyah, can you drive?”

Dangling his keys between her thumb and pointer finger, Aaliyah smiled, “Figured you wouldn’t be sane enough to drive.”

With a hand still in yours, Shawn placed his free hand gently on your lower back, slowly walking out to the car with you. He kept mumbling how he couldn’t believe that this was happening, that he remembered it like yesterday when you told him you were pregnant, and of course, he repeated how much he loved you.

While your contractions were still spaced out, they were more painful, and you were sure you cracked a few bones in Shawn’s hand, but he was all smiles as he called your parents, and his parents, to let them know you two were on your way to the hospital.

Aaliyah dropped the two of you off at the front doors to the Emergency Room, as she went to go park the car, and much like how Shawn held your hand when you left the front doors of your house, he did the same as the two of you walked through the doors of the hospital.

The next time you would be outside you would be taking your kid home.

Everything was becoming all too real. You always fantasized about having a child of your own, and when you met Shawn you knew you wanted to have his kids, but back then it was just thought. It was a romanticized thought of having something––someone––that you both created. Even while you were pregnant, it didn’t seem real. Nothing seemed real until this moment and you had never felt this amount of terror in any situation before.

“Y/n, hey,” Shawn’s eyes were wide with concern, “You have to calm down, everything’s gonna be okay, everything will be––”

You shook your head rapidly as a few tears leaked from the corner of your eyes, “I can’t––Shawn, I can’t do this.”

He scrunched his eyebrows together, “I am absolutely positive that you can do this,” his face softened with a smile as he cradled your cheek in his hand, the pads of his thumbs wiping away the tears on your cheek, “As much as I want to tell you how strong you are, I think you really need a doct––”

And like the time in the kitchen, you slightly hunched over with one hand clutching Shawn’s, as the other went to your stomach, as an unbearable pain shot through your whole body. Shawn’s eyes widened larger than you had ever seen them as he tried to hurriedly rush you to the front desk.

“Hi, my wife––” Shawn was interrupted by you letting out a whimper of pain as he talked to the front desk woman, “––She’s giving birth so we need a doctor––Like, now.”

You peaked through your eyelashes in your hunched position and saw the front desk woman sweetly smile at you and tell you as Shawn recited your information for a wrist band. All you wanted to do was glare at her.

Once the band was placed on your wrist a doctor and a few nurses came out with a gurney. You shot your head over to Shawn, not liking the idea of being wheeled into the maternity ward, but just like every moment of uncertainty before, he squeezed your hand in reassurance.

The doctor introduced themself, and the rest of the people on their team, before helping you up into the gurney, and asking you questions about your contractions and other medical inquiries that Shawn tried to answer to the best of his abilities. You did your best to answer through your gritted teeth and sharp pains in your stomach, but Shawn’s hand had never left yours since the moment you stepped foot into this hospital, so that provided you with some comfort.

After you were brought back into a private room, Shawn helped you change into the gown that was provided, and then the doctor came back in to measure your cervix. And your mouth was left hung open when he said you were only halfway dilated. With your contractions lasting a few hours, you assumed you would almost be ready to have your baby by the time you got to the hospital.

“Oh, no,” the doctor laughed, “Television really doesn’t give an accurate representation. New mom’s usually always have a longer birthing process––The early part of your first stage could be anywhere from six to twelve hours––”

“Twelve hours?” You leaned up on the hospital bed as the beeping of the heart rate monitor began to increase.

The doctor took a moment to read the screen before chuckling, “Everyone is different.”

You felt your palms begin to sweat as you looked over at Shawn, “I’m not ready,” you felt more tears start to cloud your vision, “I can’t––”

“You can,” Shawn’s voice was stern, he spoke with so much determination in his voice that, for a split second, you did believe in yourself, “This is what all these nine months have been leading up to. I have never loved you more in my life,” his voice wavered at the end of his sentence, “So believe me when I say that you can do this.”

Shawn’s words were starting to break through to you; you were starting to feel like maybe you could get through this treacherous process of bringing a life into this world if he was by your side.

The doctor told you that you could walk through the halls if you were up for it, and that people could come and visit you, but when it was time to give birth, you were only allowed three extra people in the room. And soon after that, your parents had walked into your room, your mom already had tears free falling down her face as she peppered kisses along the top of your head.

They were in the room for about an hour, congratulating the both of you as soon-to-be parents, and then came in Shawn’s parents and Aaliyah. Just like your mom, Karen was full on sobbing when she saw laid eyes upon you in a hospital gown, as Shawn soothingly rubbed his fingers on the top of your hand.

Aaliyah still had a grin spread on her face, much like earlier in the day before she interrupted Shawn’s phone call on your behalf. And like your parents, they were the room for a little over an hour, before leaving the two of you, wanting to give you and Shawn some time alone before the extra addition to your family came along.

You mustered up the strength to walk around the halls of the hospital. But you didn’t last long as you felt your contractions grow stronger. You clutched onto Shawn’s arm, as he practically dragged you back to the room, and he pressed the call button for the doctor.

Within seconds, the doctor was in the room, and you were trying to hold back the screams of pain you felt bubble up in the back of your throat, the pain of your contractions happening more frequently and lasting longer.

The doctor measured your cervix again, and when he said you were at eight centimeters, you started to cry. There was no possible way you could handle the pain of dilating two more centimeters. You wanted to give up, turn back, but realistically that was not an option.

Shawn requested the doctor to go into the waiting room and bring back both of your mom’s, as those were the extra people, save for Shawn, that you wanted in the room as you gave birth. A few minutes later, your mom and Karen hurriedly walked into the room with concern clearly written on their faces.

Karen got you a cup of ice chips as your mother went to your other side to hold your hand.

You squeezed your eyes tight as you felt another contraction rip through your body, you turned your head toward Shawn, as you tried to muffle your shout. You felt hot, nauseous, and in more pain than you had felt in your entire life. If this was only eight centimeters dilated you sure as hell didn’t want to know what it felt like to push a whole baby out of you.

Shawn’s hand was still held tightly in your grasp as he sat up from his chair and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“Shawn, this is––”

“If you say you can’t do this one more time––”

“You’re not the one who’s about to push a fucking baby out from their vagina.”

In any normal circumstance, a harsh quip like that would’ve started a petty argument, but Shawn’s eyes only looked at you with admiration as he let out a laugh, “You sound like you’re giving birth.”

You shut your eyes, trying to relax yourself, but you were in so much pain and everything was getting on your last nerve. As if on cue, the doctor walked back into your room, and the nurse who had been in the room watching over you gave him an update. The only thing you heard from the nurse as a pain, that came so forcefully––it felt as if it was tearing apart your body from the inside out––was that you were almost at ten centimeters.

“Get this fucking kid out of me,” you cried through the pain.

Your mother shushed you, Karen offered you a sympathetic smile, and Shawn thought it was necessary to crack a joke.

“Hey, that’s my kid you’re talking about.”

You glared at him, “And I will never give you another fucking kid again––Argh––Shawn Mendes I hate you so much––”

“I love you too––”

“I hate you so fucking much––Ah!”

“Ten centimeters,” you heard the doctor say from the bottom of the bed. They peaked their head around your bent knees, “Ready to push?”

As much as you wanted to meet your baby, and as much as you wanted them out of you, you shook your head no. You continued to shake your head no as more tears slipped past your eyes and another shout of pain escaped your lips.

Shawn tried to squeeze your hand in reassurance, but with your hand gripping onto him so tight, his hand was numb. So, instead, he placed his other hand on your shoulder and pressed a kiss to the top of your head, “I’m right here. Holding your hand. You have me.”

You looked up at him through your blurry vision. While you wanted to strangle him for putting you through this, his words resonated deep within your soul that you could physically feel his love for you through his words.

“I’ll never leave your side,” Shawn whispered as he wiped your tears away, “Now, are you ready to push?”

And for the first time that day, you nodded your head yes.

“On three,” you faintly heard the doctor instruct you, but all you focused on was Shawn whispering his own soft count down until your first push.

“I,” one, “love,” two, “you,” three, ”now push.”

You clamped your mouth shut, gripped Shawn’s hand until your knuckles turned three shades lighter, and pushed. Pushing was worse than any contraction you felt and you wished you could go back to that pain. But once your first push was done, and your muscles relaxed for a little bit, the doctor was giving you a warning that you were going to have to push again on three.

You looked up at your husband with fear in your eyes, who was already looking down at you, but before you could verbalize your fears, the number three was said and you started to involuntarily push.

You let out a cry as Shawn stroked the hair on top of your head, “You’re doing so well––Incredible––” another push, “––You’re the strongest woman I know––” another push, “––There’s no one else I’d want to start a family with––”

“The baby’s crowning!”

“You hear that?” Shawn wiped away a few of your tears as you heard him get choked up, “They can see the head of our baby.”

You knew you still had more work to do, but you were exhausted, all of the physical and emotional pain was catching up to you. But when the doctor said push, you leaned forward, focusing on Shawn rubbing your back, and pushed.

Shawn’s voice was the only thing that got you through giving birth. But when another sound––one of a cry––filled a void in the room you didn’t know was there, it gave you a new sense of purpose.

“One more!”

“I,” one, “love,” two, “you both,” his last words were rushed together, three, “now push.”

And as you squeezed both your mom’s and Shawn’s hand so hard––that you were sure they would need to go to get x-ray’s for broken bones––you suddenly felt all of the pressure lifted from your lower half as you fell back on the bed. You dropped your death grip on both your mom and Shawn’s hand, but Shawn didn’t let go of your hand as you saw the doctor hold up the most beautiful baby you had ever laid eyes on.

“Say hello to your baby girl.”

Your mouth was hung open in awe as the doctor placed your baby––your child with Shawn––on your chest for skin to skin contact. After all the pain you went through, and the tears you shed, you would do it all over again just for this moment. This first little moment with your baby girl pressed to you, her cries sounding like music to your ears, as you felt Shawn’s tears fall on your skin as he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

You looked up at him with your own tears in your eyes, “Ready?”

Looking into his tear-filled amber eyes, you saw him look down at your daughter, with an amount of love that was beyond how he ever looked at you. And you knew that he was already planning his future with his daughter: seeing her first steps, driving her to guitar lessons even when she didn’t want to go, eating ice-cream with her all night when she would inevitably go through her first heartbreak, and then seeing the pure joy in her eyes when she would eventually get into her first choice school––Even though that was 18 years in the future––she was his daughter, and he knew that she was destined for great things.

And with a sniffle, he pressed a soft kiss to your lips and then to his daughter’s head, “Ready.”

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