#so it's all gone

[lqnar]

i should write this stuff in my diary

#yeah i started a journal #i need to use my stickers for SOMETHING right #i love stationery it is my newest obsession #i'm spending so much money on it but i usually don't buy stuff so it's okay it's fine i will survive. #''i usually don't buy stuff'' ok liar but what i meant is that i generally only splurge on food. #which obviously isn't great all of the time. hence the bulimia. #so buying stickers and washi tape to feel an ounce of happiness is fine. #i used to journal/vent in a notebook in high school #i ripped out every single page and threw it out at one point #i think close to graduation? #it was really helpful to vent all my feelings in it but it was also really dark stuff about my depression and suicide plans #and also my trauma. and every single song lyric i related to at the time #so basically a lot of uncomfortable embarrassing and sad stuff that i didn't want anyone else to see or reread myself #so it's all gone #as is most of my venting from that time. i had a 50 k word document with venting at one point. that's a whole book #50 k words sounds insane it might just have been 50 pages i can't remember tbh. but still a lot of words. #it's gone now. i deleted everything about that situation and every single one of my tumblr posts when i was going to kill myself #i tend to clean out my life and my embarrassing online posts and every note i have ever written when i think i'm going to die soon. #i'm not suicidal anymore but it still is a mindset i somewhat still have. like oh better remember to delete these embarrassing posts #before i kms. #like ok king but have you considered mental health as a Choice bro just wondering

[tawaifeddiediaz]

you know what boils my blood.

over the last 2 weeks, i've seen countless patients walk into my urgent care center, symptomatic for so many things, refusing to get tested for covid and flu, citing that they don't want to knowingly bring it to their holiday tables. i had a patient tell me, verbatim, "i don't want to test for covid, because i don't want to be the asshole who brings it on a plane."

i understand that - i understand that holidays are times where people look forward to meeting loved ones that they might only see once a year, or where they get a break from the hectic back and forth of their lives.

but here's the thing - whether they get tested or not, they will bring whatever they have to their holiday tables. it's pure recklessness to know that you're sick, and walk into someone else's house spreading the disease.

today, january 2, i saw 91 patients, many of them who have tested positive for covid and flu. many of these patients are the same ones who didn't want testing 3 days ago, until their events were over, and now, they will have to reach out to everyone they know to let them know that they were positive because they were showing symptoms well before their event.

the next week or two? we're going to see many, many more, all people with symptoms that started around christmas. these are the only two viruses we test for rapidly in our office, but they are potent and can be fatal in many people.

so here's why i wrote this post, and maybe it's a little late, but - if you care about your loved ones, please get tested if you know you're sick. it doesn't have to be at a clinic if you don't want it to, because the over-the-counter tests work just fine too (if you test within 5-7 days of symptom onset). just...please don't try to run from the knowledge that you might have covid, because immunocompromised people, elderly people, people with co-morbidities like asthma, pregnancy, diabetes, etc...many of them may not recover. and they may not be sitting at your holiday table in the future because of it.

#zee rambles #this isn't to guilt trip anyone #but im so so tired of people coming in and just refusing testing because they want to see grandma or whatever #and on top of that people are avoiding vaccinations and all that too?? #we all lived through the pandemic - everyone saw how many people unfortunately passed away from it #now because of vaccinations and some amount of herd immunity we're finding milder cases in healthy people #but that doesn't mean its gone #that doesn't mean it doesn't have long-term repercussions even in healthy people and that doesn't mean people aren't still dying from it #honestly i just needed a lil rant #and if this helps at least one person??? im all for it #also i can't sleep so here we are spilling thoughts into the voidddd

[watchingwisteria]

listen there really was just something about how in the book, snow’s 3-page descent from hesitant lover boy to deluded psychopath happens entirely in his mind. lucy gray gives him no indication whatsoever that she suspects him, that she’s going to leave or betray him. he’s just sitting quietly in the cabin waiting for her to return when that seed of calculated suspicion, which he has needed to survive the capitol, takes a hold of him and chokes the life out of any goodness left inside him. it really drives home your terror as a reader that “oh my god did he kill her? did she escape? what happened to her? why would he even think that?” in a way that when the movie had to adjust for visualization it lost some of that holy shit this guy has lost it emphasis.

#seeing some discourse and im not saying lucy grey didnt know #im saying she never dropped the kind of hints that she knew like she did in the movie #or if she did snow isnt worried about them until he very suddenly is consumed by them #snow is not concerned about whether or not she believed him. of course she did! hes snow! #but then shes gone…. for a while…… #and its the sudden immediate drastic unravelling that comes across so clearly in the book #that i knew wouldn’t translate to screen yet still cant help but miss #the hunger games #coriolanus snow #tbosas #lucy gray baird #not a crime or anything just a note that i cannot stop thinking about #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #this is all from memory of reading it quite a while ago. so maybe 3 pages is an exaggeration #but i remember it happening VERY quickly and without much external cause #like we as the reader have no indication as to whether shes nearby or not. #snow has no idea either. he just SUSPECTS. and his suspicion breeds the hatred that has been bubbling inside him all this time #he hates how she undoes him. he hates that he WOULD run away with her if shed let him keep his secrets #and he HATES more than anything that she makes him WANT to tell his secrets #he wants to be vulnerable and reveal the ugly nasty parts about himself and still be loved #but he does not let himself and it is everyone’s downfall #he chooses cruelty bc it is easy and familiar and makes him feel more powerful than the vulnerable give and take that real love requires

[cryptocism]

a dænce of roëmænce

depictions of the ace experience never seem to include the nightmare-borne skeleton creature from hell so kudos to the dimension 20 team for their commitment to accurate rep

#my art #dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #fhjy spoilers #riz gukgak #baron from the baronies #ive been watching the new season and god i love baron what a little freak #junior year has also solidified riz as an all time fav so this was truly inevitable #i just love the concept of a “my girlfriend who lives in canada” lie gone horribly wrong #uh oh! your girlfriend is real and he lives in your briefcase #try not to die :)

[cosmosnout]

The most doomed siblings ever

#I don’t usually share that many sketches but I think abt them a lot #like ok obv Luffy means the world to both of them but before asl is was just Ace and Sabo being bffs #imagine just forgetting someone who literally used to be your best friend #imagine you remember someone you haven’t seen in years and not having the chance to reconnect with that person bc they’re gone #but you still see that person constantly in everything around you and in all the people he has met #anyway I’m so miserable abt them #art #digital art #my art #fanart #drawing #digital illustration #one piece #portgas d ace #ace #sabo

[asterwild]

PENGUINS. all of them!

(not precisely to scale, but close)

#most species have a range of several inches and i was just eyeballin it #re: little vs fairy #wikipedia has them divided into two species (aus vs nz i think) #if this hadn't been so hastily put together i wouldnt have based it solely on wikipedia #and probably would've actually gone with the global penguin society who lists them as one #i'm no expert and have no idea what sort of taxonomical debates are going on & whether this is a hotly contested issue #but i did switch to just one when i updated this for prints and such #penguins #animals #animal art #birds #id in alt #all the things

[allright]

came back wrong trope but the character knows that they came back wrong. they’re so acutely aware of how different they are now from how they were before that it drives them fucking insane. they’re stuck trying to return to somebody that’s long dead. they can never be the person they once were. everybody around them knows it. deep down, they know it too, but they’re trapped in a cycle of their own making. of trying to revive someone that no longer exists.

#i am just obsessed w the idea of someone being revived that so badly wants to be the person they used to be but that person is dead. #they're dead and gone and now all that is left is the person they are now who is fucked up from being revived !!!! #it drives them to madness <3 #also whenever i think of the came back wrong trope i think of jason todd #classic came back wrong (or different at least) trope #all.right

[stil-lindigo]

deify.

[to find a home in you is to expect eviction. i'll plant flowers anyway.]

prints

#when im gone you can make a bouquet #all words are my own #so is the art #this game brings out something in me #disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #stillindigo art

[greenglowinspooks]

To be honest. DCxDP where the reason Danny meets the bats is Ace the Bat-hound

Like, just think about it for a second. Danny is in Gotham for college, or maybe he just moved out to find a city where having mad scientist parents isn’t actually that unusual.

He can see ghosts.

The ghosts know this.

Now he’s getting harassed left and right by spirits trying to get closure. Fine, whatever, most of them are a one-and-done type deal, and the amount of ghosts trying to get his help steadily decreases.

Except for this one very stubborn dog.

It just keeps showing up and leading him to crime scenes! He doesn’t know how many “anonymous tips” he can call in to the cops before they trace his phone! And this dog, this incredibly good boy, will not stop trying to help the city. He’s never met anyone with such a strong sense of justice, let alone a dog. Can dogs even have a moral compass?

And so Danny just accepts the fact that Ace isn’t going anywhere and becomes his reluctant sidekick/dedicated medium. He leans into the whole thing, dressing up in a mix of traditional magic-user attire and accessories that pay homage to the ghost dog.

He becomes somewhat well known. The psychopomp detective following around the shadowy figure of a German Shepard? That’s unusual! That’s weird! I mean, it’s not the weirdest thing in Gotham, sure, but he’s a new vigilante and he’s got a ghost dog that people can only see when it’s around him. Someone’s gonna notice.

Damian, as Robin, is the first to reach out to him.

Ace doesn’t know Damian but he does know a Robin, and while this isn’t his Robin, he’s still friendlier than usual. Danny’s panicking because oh god the bats are here and also is this kid gonna steal my ghost dog, Damian is absolutely delighted by Ace, and Ace is just happy to see a Robin again.

Damian decides that the psychopomp isn’t a danger to anyone, and there’s no reason to put this encounter into his reports, really, and perhaps Danny can help with some of his cases in the future.

Danny is sweating bullets because Damian basically tells him that he’ll keep him secret as long as he gets to play with Ace. Ace is happy that he’s finally getting some bat affiliated crime-fighting assistance.

And so, Danny is now both Ace AND Damian’s reluctant assistant. At least whenever he’s in trouble, he can always call a middle schooler to help him.

(Is Robin even in school? He’s out patrolling damn near every night, and he stays out late as hell. Does he have a bedtime? He should.)

Eventually it gets to the point where Damian is going over to Danny’s house. When he first sees it, he has a damn bitch you live like this moment, to which Danny responds that not everyone has the money to afford a nice place. Damian counters that he could at least take the time to clean up, and Danny replies that he’s working, going to school, and being a vigilante assistant to a ghost dog, something’s got to give.

Danny nearly has a heart attack when he checks his bank account the next day and sees that someone transferred him 10,000 dollars.

And so they get into a routine. Danny and Damian fight crime with Ace at night, and occasionally Damian stops by during the day to play with Ace and have Danny help with his homework.

(Damian is smart enough to do it on his own, but some of the instructions are written incredibly confusingly, and he would never admit to needing help to his family. Danny is just glad that the kid is in school and cares about his education, blissfully unaware that he’s basically emotionally adopted him.)

Damian is used to being in Danny’s company.

Eventually, when going over a case with the family, Damian absentmindedly remarks that he’ll have to ask Danny about some of the clues that they might be missing. Nightwing asks who he means and Damian makes a face like he just swallowed a lemon.

Cue shitstorm.

Who is “Danny?” Why is Damian willing to ask for help from anyone, much less someone outside of the family? Does he know who Damian is? Has Damian been compromised? What the hell is going on?

Damian now has to explain that Danny is the psychopomp with the ghost dog who he might have met hunted down while on patrol and conveniently not mentioned, but he’s not a bad person, really, and he lets him play with Ace, and he’s been quite helpful on certain cases due to his ability to talk to ghosts.

Bruce insists that the family meet Danny. Damian, hoping that he won’t just skip town the second he hears the news, relents.

Danny is surprisingly eager to meet the bats, considering his earlier fears.

Damian, blissfully unaware of what’s coming, sets a time and place to meet.

Once everyone is there, he gives Bruce the earful of a lifetime.

Robin is in middle school! Danny knows that there’s no way to stop the boy from going on patrol, but you could at least shift his schedule so he gets enough sleep on school nights! Does the Bat even know where he is half the time?! (No) And why isn’t he comfortable asking his family for help with both cases and homework? Did they ever even notice how much time he was spending at Danny’s house? If Danny was a bad person, he could have seriously hurt the poor boy! Shame on you!

Nightwing is mortified that Damian didn’t trust him enough to tell him about any of this. Red Hood is laughing his ass off, because yeah Danny is making good points but he’s also chewing out the literal Batman. Tim is recording the whole thing. Steph is delighted by the absolute gall of this Danger Twink™️, and already planning to add him to several groupchats. Damian is more embarrassed than he’s ever been in his entire life.

You, he points to Nightwing, did your academic life feel supported when you were a Robin? Nightwing is too stunned to speak. Red Hood, eternal shit-stirrer, says that oh, we all prioritized patrol over our education, that’s just how it is. Red Robin actually dropped out of high school to avoid distractions, did you know that?

Danny honest-to-god shrieks at this.

He finishes his angry rant and leaves, everyone too stunned to stop him.

And as it turns out, Tim wasn’t the only person recording the whole thing.

The entire internet is blowing up with Psychopomp The Danger Twink™️’s rant. People are taking sides. Things are getting messy. Red Hood literally admitting on-camera to previously being a Robin is somehow not the main focus here.

Eventually someone connects some dots from the video, as well as stories circling the internet about the psychopomp. A ghost dog named Ace, who is the literal only reason that the psychopomp is fighting crime at all, which seems incredibly fond of Nightwing and Robin.

A crime-fighting dog who wants constant attention from both the current and original Robin.

Oh my god, Ace the Bat-hound died and became a crime-fighting ghost.

And, somehow, that’s still not the strangest thing going on in Gotham.

#dcxdp #dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #dc x dp prompt #literally Ace is too good a boy to pass on #this veered wildly into ‘Danny emotionally adopts Damian’ but really it’s what he deserves #sometimes family is an ex child assassin an undead college student and a ghost dog #also Danny gives literally no shits during investigations because he Cannot Die #he will just casually take 40 bullets to the chest like it’s nothing #if he encounters a rogue he will beat the everloving hell out of them and then give them Jazz’s card #(she’s doing confidential therapy for vigilantes and rogues) #except for the ones who are too far gone. like the joker #he’s a bitch and Danny hates him #if given the opportunity Danny would gladly kill him but Clockwork says he’s not allowed to do that #so he settles with beating the hell out of him and then covering all his stuff in glue #and of course alerting the authorities

[slymanner]

hurt my heart why dontcha.

#adventure time #fionna and cake #fionna and cake spoilers #simon petrikov #BMO #this is seriously fucked up u cant do this to me im so sadSNSSN #IMAGINE BEING BMO #just one day finn and jake say they'll brb and they're going on a important mission... #and BMO after this and them being gone for awhile just see's the world go into peril #death everywhere. no sign of his friends expect remnant's of the past.. #and the only survivor is them... #no other's expect the thing who released hell upon this once lively and colorful world in the first place. #and BMO just accept's this...tells themselves that they're still around...cosplay's as they're old friend's...this is fucked up #in the current timeline all his friend's are gone to natural circumstances. #but for this one? it was too early. too sudden. atleast in this one BMO will remember they're name's but...man. #this poor lil robo cant get a BREAK. #AND THEY FUCKING DIE IN SACRIFICE AT THE END TOO SHUTUPPPDPDPDPD #and the fact BMO also consider's “jerry” a friend...not knowing...that the same person caused all this. #this is...SO FUCKED UP #WHY MUST THE SHOW WRITERS DO THIS TO MY HEART.

[sleepyside]

Another thing that haunts me about this entire thing is that Amanda wasn’t just funny like her coworkers, or funny like other Disney and Nickelodeon actresses. Amanda Bynes was funny like Carol Burnett. Funny like Lucille Ball. She was effervescent and classic. Her comedic sensibilities were deeply intelligent. She had *it*. And she should have grown into one of the best actresses of our generation. But *something* happened and derailed it all. Even if she’s not the same, I truly hope she’s well and happy. I want nothing but the best for her, even if it’s a quiet and private life. I adored her back then and always will.

#Amanda Bynes #quiet on set #it feels ghoulish to hope she comes forward with her story #we aren’t owed anything #I think she just felt like a friend to everyone and we all want to know how to help our friend #whose ass do we need to kick #can we fight for you can we support you can we help you with what you’ve gone through #dan schneider #Nickelodeon #the Amanda show #I spent so much time on amandaplease.com at the library

[lotus-pear]

"feels like we could go on for forever this way.." (x)

#wooo new header for me <33 #also back to skk posting i missed them sm #wanted to pratice some scenery and try a new style which simplifies my current one and focuses more on colors and painting #and i'm super happy with how it turned out i think i won #for forever fits skk so well it rly brings back the bittersweet memories of when they were once partners and each others halves #and it just feels reminiscent of days gone by and they were once so close but time and life their own decisions have torn them apart #ben platt's voice is so pretty i love this song sm i heard it for the first time again in years and was slammed by all the emotions😭😭 #i was so normal abt deh when it first came out i swear #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #nakahara chuuya #chuuya nakahara #soukoku #skk #lotus draws

[idliketobeatree]

The lighting in the S1 1941 flashback is so painfully dark I was rewatching it on a 150% brightness and perhaps I am five years late, but how come I've never noticed that this

is how Aziraphale gazes at Crowley before the "little demonic miracle of my own"???

This is him before the love realisation, just after Aziraphale miracled them both safe from the bomb exploding on the church with the Nazis. No heartwarming acts of service yet — best to his knowledge, Crowley was only there for moral support, because he "didn't want him to get embarassed". And his gaze is— I don't know what to say. Like it would kill him to look away. So fond, so immersed, "oh God, there you are", like hundreds of years have passed, not decades since they saw each other last. Books? What books? What air raid, what war?

Arguably the best part of the scene happens literal seconds after. If you pay close attention to the whole shot, you'll spot the brown satchel on the side. Which Aziraphale would notice earlier too, if he could focus on anything other than Crowley.

#good omens #good omens 1941 #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #aziraphale x crowley #good omens analysis #good omens meta #ineffable spouses #good omens s1 #gos1 #anthony j crowley #i'm going to be sick #michael sheen what if this is my last straw? what then? #i blame the eternal darkness of these shots that i've only noticed this now #aziraphale was there!! smitten gone so SO BAD for him!!!!! and he was the one who did all the hard bits!! #end me please #marcela talks

[ionomycin]

mermay

#artists on tumblr #may has gone so incredibly fast #it literally just started and now it's almost over #i'll be going to finland to visit my mom and friend again in june #just in time for pride week #it's been really nice in helsinki the past few years #i hope it goes safely and peacefully this year too #last year there were some protestors screaming mean things with their hateful signs #but that's to be expected #it's hard to feel insulted when they're the ones wasting their time screaming at strangers #instead of doing something positive #must be a sad life being so angry all the time

[warlenys]

every birthmarks everybody dies parallel takes twenty years off my life

#this can’t have been intentional but then like. the boring thing #they absolutely rewatched birthmarks before writing that ending #so maybe it was #wish i could’ve gone into that writers room and strangled them all to death with my bare hands #also someone must have pointed this out already but i don’t think i’ve seen it if they have i think i would’ve gone insane then and there #house md #hilson #+

[forgettable-au]

Does Flowey exist in this au?

Yes, he does.

Everything's pretty much the same when it comes to the regular story in this AU. It's just the past, especifically Papyrus' past (wich we don't know much about to begin with) that changes

Actually Flowey is one of the main characters in the story! (the main story of this au is divided between the past before the game and a post-pacifist timeline:D)

He and Papyrus will have a fun dynamic

-some thought I had in tags behind the keep reading

Srry for the spelling mistakes in here but I can't go and fix tags because I would end up erasing everything😭tumblr struggles

#my hand is dying I drew all this so quickly lmaokajs #actually Flowey is there in the first concept art I did for this au akahsksj isn't that great #forgettable-au #(THIS MINI COMIC IS UNREALISTIC BTW I don't think flowey would just open up about his past to Papyrus #but like it would end up in a situation like this and I think that's funny) #this is mostly inspired by the weird pararallel that I accidentally created between Flowey and Papyrus #Flowey being someone who remembers being another person even tho Asriels been long gone he still feel like Asriel but is he really Asriel #and then in this case Papyrus is an ACTUAL remain of another person #the same body but not the same memories #when I first was developing the story I noticed that and thought it would be a cool detail to acknowledge #different yet similar in a way situations idk #answered ask #undertale au #papyrus #papyrus!gaster #undertale #papyrus is gaster #flowey #undertale comic