#so please let me know if there is anything to add to avoid triggering anyone | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

buckyalpine · 8 months

Text

Fic idea - Bucky’s family & time travel

You know how I keep proposing ideas, then adding it to my wips and then I stare at it while it stares at me. Heres another. I'm so sorry. Swear this will end in fluff, you'll just suffer in between. So imagine the most angstiest angst where Bucky gets married and has a child with his sweetheart before he’s sent to war. He's loved her his whole life and now they have a little one together; nothing could be more perfect. He promises he'll be back safe and sound with a kiss to her forehead and plenty of kisses for his baby girl.

Until Hydra captures him and turns him into the Winter Soldier. His first mission is to eliminate any familial ties. He doesn't feel anything when he pulls the trigger. He's successful and carries out hundreds of others kills, each searing itself in some part of his brain but he's constantly wiped before he can piece anything together.

But then he's rescued and he has to pick up the broken fragments of his memories and its too much of a fog for him to understand. At the very least he has his best friend by his side again and he's slowly starting to remember.

His first question is about his sweet y/n and his little girl.

His happiness is short-lived when Steve doesn't say anything. Bucky doesn't understand why he avoids his gaze, why he suddenly looks so distraught. No amount of pleading or begging works, his best friend doesn't breathe a word, asking Bucky to please let things be.

To learn to live with the way things were.

He can't do that though. He needs answers. When the team is away on a mission, he find a way to get into his records that SHIELD kept on him, wondering if they ever had anything on file about his life before he was captured. Every single detail about who he was before the war to after is written with details and camera footage.

He doesn't move from where he's seated, a blank expression on his face while everyone returns. Steve approaches Bucky first, worried about why the soldier looked so pale as if he'd aged 10 years in the past 3 days.

"I killed them?" His broken whisper of a voice breaks Steve's heart when he sees the file Bucky was looking at, a picture of him, his little girl on his shoulders and wife all smiling at the camera. The sheet he's clutching onto has their names along with deceased written write across the sheet.

Bucky is inconsolable.

His dreams are no longer about others he has killed. He's flooded with memories of her; the soft ivory dress she wore on their wedding day, the baby pink lace she had on when he undressed her that same night, the scent of her perfume, the sound of her laugh, the kicks of their baby, the sound of her happy squeals when he blew raspberries onto her chubby cheeks.

Those happy memories are quickly replaced with her pleading for him to remember. To just remember at least once.

Jamie, it's me, please, m'your y/n, Bucky, don't-

D-daddy?

Baby, go to your room-Bucky no-

Mama!

Please, not Bella, James, you love her baby, you love us- please remember me-

I-I love you

The pain of Bucky's cries are too much for anyone to handle. They're a different type of sadness. So much so, even Tony's starting to worry when he doesn't see Bucky for days on end. He begs to be put back in cyro, to have his memories wiped, to have his brain fried, anything to forget. He doesn't care about the pain, he just wants it all to end.

Imagine theres a mission that involves time travel. Steve and Sam stand on the platform, ready to enter the portal, setting their timers for a specific date in the past. When Sam catches Steve adding another date without telling him, he quietly adds it on his suit as well, piecing what the Captain plans on doing.

The mission takes a little longer than anticipated. Steve is surprised when Sam is beside him when he travels back to the 40's, the both of them now with a new mission in mind, alternating the future be damned. If they had a chance to give Bucky the life he deserved again, they would do it. Bucky doesn't ask for much. In fact he never asked for anything. He deserved this.

Imagine the shock everyone gets when the portal opens up at the compound and there are now 4 people on the platform. Steve, Sam, a woman and a little girl no older than 2. She's dressed in a simple dotted dress, still wearing an apron around her waist while her baby stays clinging around her, tucking her face into her mommas neck.

Imagine the way Bucky would collapse with her when he sees his family again, crying endlessly being able to hold his wife and child, something he thought he'd lost forever. Everyone gives the little family some privacy while he hugs and kisses them, cuddling them to his chest, still right on the lab floor. Explanations for everything can wait, right now he can't believe he has his angels back.

Imagine the way they'd fall asleep that night, sleeping in bed for once, now that he's reunited with his y/n and his Bella.

imagine the endless love he'd make to her while Bella spends time with her God Fathers, aka all the Avenger men.

Imagine she's pregnant soon after and they can continue being a family in the present, doing all the things they always dreamed of.

Anyway, just a thought.

1K notes · View notes

montywithchildhoodtrauma · 3 months

Text

So from the look of the new hotel Lucifer might be staying with them from this point on, becoming a beloved main character with the rest.

I love this fact but... I haven't seen the topic of his depression come up yet with this new living situation.

Sooo head cannons.

Warning, this will contain suicidal thoughts, intrusive thoughts, self harm, throwing up, and thoughts of self harm. If this triggers you in any way shape or form, please, for your safety don't read.

People often talk about depression meaning you sleep a lot and you're sad all of the time. And yes that is one thing that can happen, but people don't often talk about the exhaustion of being too tired to do anything and your brain to loud and filled with hateful thoughts that force you awake. Lucifer often lays in bed for hours, the night ticking away slowly. He knows that he has to get up soon but the thought of not getting any sleep hurts his head. But he can't, and he doesn't know why- hes exhausted and tired but his head wont shut up-

He stays in his room for days on end. Any attempts to coax him out of his room fail, after a while they just start leaving plates of food that never get eaten outside of his room.

He often forgets to eat. Doesn't deserve it anyway

Sometimes he purposely doesn't eat. Hes just gonna throw it up again-

He wanders the halls of the hotel when everyone else is, theoretically, asleep.

Man drinks so much coffee he should be double dead, five times over.

The only one who hasn't vented to Husker. (Its only a matter of time- Huskers hidden all of the wine and champagne)

Everyone now has their own custom Duck! Alastor's is set to explode soon but lets not talk about that (A lamb duck is set carefully at the bottom of a lovely statue, wonder who it could be for...)

After staying in his room for days he does wayyy too much for everyone, it's concerning.

Depression meals! (Its- two slices of bread and cheese?)

Non depression meals! (Very nice- Coffee isn't a meal)

He and Alastor have been given separate kitchens due to... complications...

Pancakes and jambalaya don't go together- Holy fuck, they don't go together-

He keeps his windows shut and covered at all times, no matter how stuffy his room gets- It would be so easy to just fall, everyone would think its an accident, no one would care~

The windows stay shut. One little lock between him and a free fall

He tries to avoid Nifty as much as possible, not that shes really interested in him anymore, she just... freaks him out.

Depression meal squared! ( All he did was add a second slice of cheese)

Wonder where all this blood's coming from... it's staining the corners of Lucifer's sleeves.

A few knives from the kitchen have gone missing... ah Nifty probably took them.

Interventions won't work! Hes the king of hell!

Damn it, the puppy eyes get him every time.

Refuses to join in on the trust exercises. Hes almost as stubborn as Angel on that front.

He often forgets what hes doing or what he should be doing.

I'll make a part two if anyone wants me to!

#hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin lucifer #hazbin charlie #hazbin characters #hazbin hotel lucifer #self h@rm #tw depressing thoughts #eating disorder trigger warning #husker

40 notes · View notes

lokisgoodgirl · 22 days

Note

hiiiii do you have any tips for someone who is just starting to post fics?? I'm an author but haven't posted ff in literal years and never on Tumblr, so I want to make sure I don't step on any toes or break some kind of fic etiquette first!!! <3 tia

Hey sweet!😍 How exciting that you're dipping your toe in the tumblrsphere!!!

Since you're a seasoned writer, here are some tips about other things:

No.1 Piece of Advice - Talk to people!!!!!! Be nice!!!! Let your freak flag fly!!! You sent me an ask apologising for being all over my posts ATM...DON'T!!! That is literally the best thing you could do. It's how you get to know other users, how you recognise each other, how you build little in jokes and suss out your people. Please please involve yourself in your fandom. Fics, silly things. Exposing yourself (careful...) and getting to know writers is honestly the best thing. Results will vary depending on other users you approach, but it's the best way to feel like you're not posting into a void. And reblog things you read, or that make you laugh! Especially if you're a writer, and you read fics... do unto others as you would have done unto you or naff off with the right to complain when people don't share yours, is my view (not you personally, just in general) (If you weren't aware, on Tumblr, reblogs are the best way to show appreciation/ share work - but comments are also great.) The read more button. You need to insert this on your fics (it's what causes the 'read more' line to appear at a certain point you choose.) A couple of paragraphs/lines/whatever in, press enter and this button will appear on the bar

It's the black squiggly one at the far right. This means that your post won't be 3 miles long and is more shareable - and also it means anyone who shares it won't have a huge long post on their dash :)

Tags/Warnings As well as your fandom # tags a lot of people add warnings at the top of the fics (for things ranging from smut, to various kinks, to anything triggering) Approaches to this vary, no ones perfect - but especially where things are obviously sensitive topics, include these to avoid upsetting people.

Headcanon Etiquette If someone's thought/headcanon they've posted inspires you, and it's very specific and inspires an idea - drop them a message to ask if they mind you writing something about it and credit them in the post because I've seen some absolute audacity in my time and it's never ok. I'm in no way saying you'd do this, but it's my biggest pet peeve. Just be respectful of other people's imaginations, basically. It's literally all we have here 🤣

Feel free to pop me a message if you think there's anything I can help with and I'll do my best 💖

#writing asks

23 notes · View notes

yooniesim · 5 months

Text

That being said, I am NOT sorry to tianshii88/rentbunny/zhuhaitang/yin-shimo for anything. I still stand by everything that I said about their shipping preferences not being tagged correctly or kept away from unconsenting parties, how they conduct themselves with minors, and how generally creepy I find them as a person. I blocked them partly because they were liking posts calling me a coon and telling me to kill myself, and I think it's very funny they sifted through people simply not liking their extremely high poly count (ignoring all the times they got compliments of course) and an out of context remark not even directed towards them as "receipts" to play the victim. They are not a victim in any capacity and when I have the time to do so I will post everything I have and everything I can find. I was going to let it go and leave them unnamed but I guess they don't want it to be that way. I truly find them unnerving and one of the only people I know on simblr I would worry about the minors here being around. I stand by their ban from my server 100% and I would encourage others to do the same.

In the last few days, I've actually seen more people saying how they were made uncomfortable by tianshi's actions towards them, and if anyone else feels comfortable coming to me with the details, please do so. You got the actual receipts, hell, send them. Especially if you have the ones from his server with the dead dove channel full of 12-15 year olds. I'll add them to the mountain. And I'll censor them and keep you anonymous. I'm not one for callout posts anymore, but honestly, as a victim of CSA myself and someone that was groomed on the internet as a young child, this entire situation has been sending up red flags throughout for me. The flippant attitude, the mocking of survivors, the lack of empathy or accountability, it's all really disturbing. This may be the one time I really just have to force myself through all the shit I've been sent and lay it out like I used to. It's tough and it's triggering as hell and I don't want to. God knows I don't have the mental energy or a lot of time for this shit anymore. But they will not stop attacking me and unrelated people in the server even though I tried my best not to name them or bring them shit, and I think they really think they haven't done a thing wrong ever. They admit to everything yet defend everything, from saying putting a minor in a sexual pose for cc preview is okay because the original mangaka did it first to pretending having a dead dove channel in a server full of minors is okay because it has a simple react role to access... and more near incoherent word salad. Every concern you bring up has a convenient excuse, while they call survivors crybabies and dumbasses for being triggered by their irresponsible and creepy behavior. While they try to invalidate people with legitimate concerns about their creepiness by calling them bullies for bringing up their poly count or trying to frame them as something they're not. And if they think all that is okay, people in the community are going to continue to be harmed by them in the future, and I really don't want that.

When I post it, it'll be appropriately tagged and most likely under a read more so that anyone that doesn't want to see it can avoid it. Sorry guys.

#ceci speaks #nonsims #text #negative #tw csa mention #tw grooming mention #you want to see some real receipts? ill give em to ya baby #i'm staying outta drama but this aint drama #this is dangerous shit #also the fact that this is on the gratitude day lmfaooo crying #sorry everyone but creeps be creepin

20 notes · View notes

guiltygearconfessions · 8 months

Text

Welcome to the Chaos! (Pinned Post)

Despite the massive uptick in fans coming to the series since Strive’s release, I was shocked to find that nobody had thought to make a confessions blog! So, here we are.

Feel free to send in your submissions! Let’s just lay out some quick guidelines

-SFW and NSFW confessions are welcome! However, any NSFW submissions that involve minors will immediately be deleted and the sender will be blocked

-All NSFW submissions will be tagged as such

-I will do my best to both properly tag characters and use proper trigger tags as needed, however this blog is managed by one person so I may make mistakes! Feel free to let me know if there’s an error and I’ll double back to fix it

-For the most part, I’ll simply post submissions as they are as as they come. Some confession blogs will use images, but unless I have something I think is funny or will add to said confession, otherwise it just makes things take more time and doesn’t really add much substance

-Anonymous submissions are allowed for anyone that would like to use it

-All non-submissions will be tagged as #not a confession. I’m gonna do my best to keep this mess decently organized

-I don’t endorse or necessarily agree with anything anyone posts. I hope this will be a community gathering with differing opinions.

-This blog will operate on a queue system, the amount of confessions posted per day may very based on how many are sent in, I will increase or decrease it in an attempt to avoid repeatedly emptying the queue

I’ll update this post whenever doing so is needed. Please feel free to send me a message if you think there’s something that could use change or adjustment

Have fun, everybody!

#not a confession #guilty gear #guilty gear strive #guilty gear xrd #announcements

27 notes · View notes

tomhardyspinkyfinger · 2 years

Text

The Good Girl and the Gangster: 2

A/N: chapter 2! Top left and middle pictures is how I envision Mabel, Annie and biscuit :). I also add outfits that are referenced in the chapter! I really like making moodboards I'm very visual so it helps me write better and picture the scenery. And for the trigger warnings I'm going to leave them off for the rest of the story, the basic warnings are language and sex, if I write something triggering I'll make it known!

BTW I didn't edit this, I will in the next day or so but I had so much fun writing it that I just wanted to get it out and hear feedback ASAP! I know someone mentioned wanting to be tagged on this, if you do too, let me know!

Summary: Y/N and Alfie grow closer, but her mother has other plans for her love life.

Masterlist Part 1

"That's to wipe up those drenched panties you were goin' on about."

I could practically hear my heart fall through my body. My eyes widened. Alfie backed away from me with his grin remaining.

"Alfie- I-I... we were just..." I stammered.

"S'alrigh' dove. I won't tell anyone. That soppin' wet cunt has been on my mind since I met you. Could tell you were wet when you clenched them silky thighs in front'a me. Can't do anything about it 'I'm afraid, love. I'm a right fuckin' bastard, been goin' to temple tryin' to repent an' all that. Fuckin' the Rabbi's daughter till her legs give out ain't very holy is it?" Alfie explained, his eyes never leaving mine. I swallowed heavily and tried to steady my breathing. Before I could even try to formulate a response my mothers voice called out into the night.

"Y/N! There you are, hello Mr. Solomons!" She greeted, approaching us and patting Alfie's arm gently, grabbing my hand and beginning to tug me back towards the party.

"Come darling, there is someone I want you to meet." I let her drag me into the main hall where an older couple and a young man stood talking amongst each other.

"Beth! This is her!" My mother exclaimed. The older woman looked at me and beamed. She approached me and grabbed my arms, pulling me closer to her and moving my arms to examine me.

"Yes! She's beautiful! Glowing girl! She'll make a perfect bride!" Beth spoke. I furrowed my brow.

"I'm sorry..?" I questioned. She chuckled.

"Pardon the old brain darling, I haven't even introduced us. I am Beth, this is my husband Elijah and my son Jacob!" She motioned to her family. I shook Elijah's hand and moved on to Jacob, who kissing the top of my hand, wetting it with his spit.

Ew.

"Pleasure to make your acquaintance. I've heard splendid things about you." Jacob spoke. He was attractive, tall with blue eyes and short brown hair. His white dress shirt and suspenders fit his toned body well.

"I can't say I've heard anything of you." I spoke rather bluntly. My mother pinched my arm out of eye sight. I grimaced.

"That gives you two a chance to get better acquainted then!" My mother spoke. I hid my distaste.

The party continued on for a few hours, I mingled but spent most of my time with Mabel and Annie. Alfie had left, bidding me a goodbye with an innocent kiss on the cheek. I still hadn't recovered from what he said in the garden. I knew this attraction was going to become worse than it already was, since he feels the same.

The party died down, the only remanding guests being Jacob and his parents. My parents and I walked them to the door, bidding them goodbye.

"We'll see you tomorrow for dinner Eliana! We'll take that time to begin wedding arrangements." Beth spoke, kissing my mothers cheek. My mother began subtly ushering them out while my father failed to hide his frown. Once the door was shut and the house was silent.

"Mother, what did Beth mean?" I spoke, my heart pounding. She turned to face me, sighing.

"Listen, sweetheart-"

"No! What is happening?! Don't tell me you did what I think you did! Father please say something." I pleaded. My father avoided my eye contact. My mother spoke up,

"Y/N. I've told you it is the appropriate time to start looking for a husband." My mother defended. I scoffed.

"And I agreed with you! I am fine being married, but I'd prefer to choose!" I shouted, throwing my hands up.

"When you turned 18 we agreed you would start looking for a husband, you're 21 and haven't even courted anyone! You sit around in your art studio and waste time! We let you adjust to the idea of marriage and now you're ready. You and Jacob will be wed in two months time. He is a perfectly suitable young man." My mother snapped, huffing angirly.

"Father? What do you have to say about this?" I demanded. He let out a breath, meeting my eyes.

"Your mother is right angel, Jacob is a very kind man. He built a relationship with your mother and I before asking for your hand in marriage. I accepted. He is taking over his fathers butchery soon, he will be able to support you." My father spoke.

"He asked for my hand?! I just met him two hours ago! This has been going on behind my back without me even knowing! I can't believe it. I will not marry him! You can't make me! This is fucking outrageous!" I was screaming at this point. I had never cursed in front of my parents, let alone at them, but I was too enraged to care.

"That is quite enough! You will marry Jacob! If you ever disrespect your mother or I like that again you will regret it. Go to your room now. I can't even look at you right now." My father bellowed. He had never raised his voice at me like that. I rushed up to my room, slamming the door and locking it, the tears flowing immediately.

The next day, I stayed locked away in my room. I made myself toast and picked some fresh fruit from the garden, grabbed Biscuit, and retreated back to my room. It was now late afternoon, and I had spent hours laying in bed and petting Biscuit. I did some writing and sketching but nothing else.

A knock sounded at my door.

"What." I called out, already angry again.

"Darling, let me in please." My mother called out from the other side, I huffed and opened the door, allowing her entry. She walked in and placed her hands on my face.

"My love, I am sorry things went the way they did. I know your father is upset with what he said to you. We have talked and we understand this is difficult for you. It was wrong for us to leave you in the dark. You will adjust in time darling." My mother spoke. I pulled away.

"I don't need your excuses. I apologize for yelling at you, but I meant what I said. I accept your apology but I do not forgive you." I spoke plainly. She nodded.

"Get ready for dinner. The new gown in your dresser is for tonight. I hope you can come to forgive us. You are my child and I will always love you. When the guests arrive please try to make conversation and show them what an incredible, well-mannered lady you are. Father has some guests joining as well, Mr. Solomons and a few men from the church." My mother spoke. Great and the man I've been lusting over is in attendance too? I nodded and opened my door again, silently instructing her to leave.

In a rage I yanked open my dresser, grabbing the evening gown and taking my crafting scissors to it. Once the gown was torn into a million little pieces, I began getting ready.

I began descending the staircase, hearing the guests already chattering and eating our opening dish my mother prepared. When I entered the dining room all conversations ceased.

"Good evening everyone." I spoke with a smirk. My mother's face was boiling red and my father had a hand tentatively placed over his face. I glanced at Alfie and saw a sly smirk as he looked me up and down. I smoothed out my slacks and adjusted the collar of my black button down blouse before taking a seat next to my mother and across from Jacob, my father seated at the head of the table. Alfie was on my other side.

"Go change, now." My mother spoke under her breath, a smile on her face.

"It's quite alright ma'am. I appreciate Y/N's choice in attire. I hear women are starting to wear slacks, some in America are even joining work forces!" Jacob jumped to my defense. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. My mother forced a smile and dinner continued on.

I let Jacob carry the conversation as I listened, chiming in every now and then to please my parents. Towards the end of dinner, Alfie placed his big hand on my knee. I jumped a bit in surprise. He hadn't spoken to me besides a greeting, he was conversing with my father and the other men at the table. Jacob's father owns the butchery, so they talked about owning and running a business, nothing I cared about. I looked at him and he continued talking, as if he didn't know what was going on.

The dinner ended, and the two men Ezekiel and Charles, left early to get home to their families. Jacob, his parents, and Alfie were the remaining guests. My father, Elijah and Alfie went to the study to talk about god knows what, and Beth and my mother gabbed about the wedding like they had been all night.

"So, do you enjoy hunting? I've heard women who dress in masculine fashion enjoy masculine activities." Jacob spoke.

...What?

"No. I don't. I don't believe in the pointless slaughter of animals. In America before it was colonized, natives believed in honoring animals in life and death, killing them and using every part of their bodies before honoring their spirit. Those who kill animals for sport to not gain respect from me." I spoke, shrugging. Jacob furrowed his brows.

"Why do you know of such topics? American history hardly affects us." He spoke. I resisted the urge to scoff.

"Technically it does, we invaded their country and called it our own, and then enslaved an entire race of people. I'd rather acknowledge our wrong doings as a race and country rather than pretend it didn't happen." I spoke. My mother had tuned into our conversation, pinching my leg to get me to sit pretty and shut up. I pinched her back.

"Now that right there is a intelligent fuckin' bird. Pardon my language. This woman is a fuckin' enigma right, learn to respect it, boy." Alfie's voice chimed in from the doorway of the dining room. I smiled.

"Absolutely Mr. Solomons. She is much more intelligent than I expected." He spoke in shock. My eye twitched. Before anyone else could say anything a loud crack of thunder erupted. It had been raining for a while, but was now downpouring.

"Eliana, the driveway is flooded, it will be clear once the rain stops, but the mud has trapped the cars. Would you please set up the guest rooms?" My father questioned, entering the room behind Alfie.

"Absolutely! Elijah and Beth can take the first guest room, Jacob the second and Mr. Solomons can have Y/N's room. Darling you'll do just fine on the couch in your studio." My mother spoke, Her and Beth clearing the table.

"Nah, I'll take the couch. Don't sleep none anyhow." Alfie tried, my mother shooting him down and insisting. I nodded in his direction when he met my eyes. My mother rushed off to set up the guest bedrooms and everyone turned in.

A few hours into the night and I was still tossing and turning on the small couch. The rain had stopped and the muggy, humid late spring air filled the room as it seeped through the open windows. I kicked my blanket off and gently removed Biscuit from my stomach, placing him on the couch. I quietly stepped, smiling at the feeling of my toes in the wet grass. I approached the pond and looked around before stepping in.

My white night gown was all the covered my body as I began floating around the quaint pond. I swam for about twenty minutes before pulling myself out of the water, holding the bunched up wet silk in my fists to give my feet room. I stood on the grass and let go of the gown, letting it go back to molding my body.

"Christ. Makin' it right fuckin' hard to not want you." Alfie's voice called out. I jumped and looked over where Alfie sat on the bench off to the side of the garden. The bench had a view of the pond but when inside the pond, the bench wasn't visible.

"You scared me! How long have you been there?" I questioned, my hand on my wet chest.

"Long enough, can't sleep. Been here a few hours." He explained, standing and approaching me. He looked my body up and down with hunger in his eyes. I furrowed my brows and looked down.

My gown was like a second skin, outlining my curves. But it wasn't just tight, it was completely see through. My hard nipples were completely visible as was the rest of my body. I placed my hands over my breasts and felt my face heat up.

"Don't matter now. Been lookin' at these since you got in the water." He shrugged, motioning to my breasts. I huffed.

"Creep." I joked. He smirking wider.

"You sure, treacle? I ain't the one sayin' my cunt is all wet." Alfie spoke. I laughed and put my hand over my face, losing the ability to care about covering up.

"Are you ever going to let that go?"

"Nah." He shook his head. I smiled and sat in the grass, bringing my knees to my chest, trying to preserve just a smidge of my modesty. Alfie sat next to me, grunting as his joints cracked.

"You alright grandpa?" I teased. He scoffed.

"Fuck off." I laughed. We sat in silence for a while before Alfie's hand touched my cheek gently, wiping tears I hadn't even noticed had fallen.

"M'sorry dove." He spoke quietly. I smiled, but it didn't reach my eyes.

"Not your fault. Many women get married younger than me, I'm just being a baby." I defended, wiping my tears and sniffling.

"Crock of shit that is, don't lie to me. I don't believe in that posh fuckin' socialite shit, say what you feel. No need to be prim n' fuckin' proper 'round me." Alfie spoke.

"It's... I... I'm fucking enraged!" I huffed. He smiled.

"There ya' are, dove."

"I don't want to marry him! I don't even know him! I have no desire to be with him. My parents don't even respect me! I have to constantly be so fucking proper! Don't curse, don't smoke, don't drink, stand up straight, smile wide, don't argue, never go against a man, it's a god damn sham! I have followed their fucking rules my whole life, and now I'm signing my life and freedom away before I've even lived! I've never tasted a sip or alcohol, never smoked a cigarette, never been kissed, never been fucked the way I really, really want to be fucked." I ranted, slapping my hand over my mouth at the end.

I had never admitted any of that to anyone before. I hadn't even cursed before yesterday. Talking to Alfie was just so easy.

"Christ. I can't do this." Alfie muttered. My brows furrowed.

"I-I'm sorry. Did I say something wrong? I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I am so sor-"

His lips were on mine.

Alfie Solomons was kissing me, while I sat in the grass with my soaking, naked body completely visible.

Oy Vey.

He pushed my gently down into the wet grass, rolling over to put his large body over top of mine. His hands were on my waist, mine in his hair as his plump lips molded with mine. I moaned, wrapping my legs around his waist. I had never done anything like this, just read and fantasied about it.

He pulled away suddenly. Standing up from the grass and walking back into the house without sparing me a glance. I assumed he needed some space so I went into the studio/ make shift sleeping quarters and dried off, putting on my robe before going up to my bedroom. I knocked a couple times before letting myself in.

"Alfie?" I questioned. The room was empty.

I walked to my window, where I saw the taillights of his car turning off our drive and disappearing into the night.

#alfie solomons fanfiction #tom hardy #tom hardy x reader #reader insert #tom hardy x you #fic #fluff #alfie solomons #peaky blinders alfie

232 notes · View notes

traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 4 months

Note

fetish trauma, sexual things, asexuality, csa

name// fawn

this is more of a question but, I'm starting to look back at my csa and accept it more? It's no longer looming over my shoulder but it's instead settled into my skin. It sucks that it happened and I wish it didn't but it did and all I can do for myself is live well. for a long time I was involved with a specific fetish with the people who harrased me and while this fetish is odd and often misconstrued or stereotyped, I find myself actually warming up to it now instead of shoving it down? Because for a long time even I hated that I enjoyed it.

I consider myself to be cupioromantic or at least somewhere on the asexuality spectrum; I don't feel sexual emotions and I desire relationships without ever actually wanting one (to simplify) but the only time I do feel actually arousal is when I read about this fetish specifically. Only this and only through reading. I wonder if it's because I have such an early history of it and whether or not it's a form of conditioning and since I left that situation I have done my best to avoid it and push it away. But now I'm just sort of leaning back into it?

I'm not entirely sure what to do, it's not a crazy fetish nor is it hurtful I don't think at least not the way I view it, but I'm scared of allowing myself to inch back in and then getting triggered or what happened before happening now and it causing an episode for myself. What should I do here? This fetish isn't something I think I'd want in real life, it's a huge risk for my mental state but well I don't know. Any help would be 100% appreciated

Hi fawn,

It sounds like learning to accept your experiences has been healing and brought peace to your life, and that part of accepting what happened has included warming up to a fetish that was perhaps tainted during your trauma. While it's unclear which fetish you're referring to, as long as it isn't harmful to you or others, it could be a safe thing to reconnect with in a healthier light.

I think it's important to clarify that asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction, which doesn't necessarily mean you cannot be aroused by sexual content - it refers to the sexual attraction towards a specific individual. In other words, it's possible to consume fetish content and still identify as asexual.

I don't feel right saying that engaging in this fetish is or isn't healthy for you, because I think it could go either way. Fetishes aren't necessarily attractions we can control or pretend not to have, so I'm not sure that simply avoiding it is possible, in terms of playing it safe. But it also sounds like leaning into it even more could lead to psychological pain. Ultimately, if you can access or afford it, this is something to discuss further with the insight of a mental health professional such as a therapist, especially considering that this is quite a delicate topic that seems to be tightly interwoven with your trauma.

If anyone has any comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #fawn #tw abuse #tw child abuse #tw sa #tw csa

7 notes · View notes

xfilesfanficexchange · 2 years

Text

NEW FANFICTION EXCHANGE ANNOUNCEMENTS!

We're waiting on the final One Bed fics to come in, but in the meantime, I wanted to make sure to get the exchange sign ups out for those ready for more!

In typical exchanges, there are certain things participants are discouraged from asking for. In particular: triggering content, ships other than MSR, and non-XF related content.

I realize these limitations can be annoying to individuals who enjoy this content, and I never want to exclude anyone from participating. So for the October/November exchanges, we will be focusing on THREE themes that allow the aforementioned tropes that are usually banned.

I would like to announce the following new exchanges (details on each to follow)!

The Darkfic Exchange (October 29th)

The Stella/Scully Exchange (November 5th)

The Slash Exchange (November 19th)

I know three might seem like a lot, but I presume people might not be as interested in doing all three of these since they're a bit niche theme-wise (but more power to you if you do). Also, unlike the other multiple-theme exchange announcements, these events will be on different dates

1) THE DARKFIC EXCHANGE

In most exchanges, any content that might be triggering is discouraged. However, I understand that exploring dark topics (writing or reading) can be very cathartic and I think it's a valuable tool for exploration. So for this exchange, think of any topics you've wanted to ask for, but second-guessed or thought it was "too dark." This is the time!

There are definitely different "shades" of darkfic, here are some examples: Character death, assault, torture, self-harm, infidelity, miscarriage, /other, breakup, sick fic, suicide, etc. Maybe there's a happy ending, maybe there's not -- it's up to you!

Before anyone judges and says "Why would anyone want to write/read ________," please understand this can be very therapeutic for individuals. At the end of the day, using these characters in fic can help us interpret our own lives.

With that being said, I still want to be sensitive to the fact these topics are triggering. Maybe you want to sign up and ask for X, but the thought of writing Y is very uncomfortable for you. Just let me know privately and I will ensure you don't get a prompt that is triggering.

I will also be sending the authors some information regarding writing triggering content in the welcome email. In regards to the community, on the exchange day everything will be posted with #XFDarkFic2022 and you can mute the tag to avoid any posts.

Details Darkfic Exchange

Exchange Date: October 29th

This is a five(ish) week writing period.

Word Minimum: 2k

Link Here!

2) THE STELLA/SCULLY EXCHANGE

I knew I was going to have a slash exchange, and I know Stella/Scully is a very popular slash pairing but that some people might only want to write for TXF. As a result, I figured the S/S could have an exchange all their own!

I admittedly do not know much about this pairing, nor if the authors of the community are familiar with/have participated in exchanges before -- but please know that you are welcome here!

As the title suggest, this exchange is dedicated to all things Stella and Scully! I apologize that I don't know much about the conventions of the genre to add anything else, but I'm excited to see what y'all come up with!

Details Stella/Scully Exchange

Exchange Date: November 5thThis is a six(ish) week writing period

Word Minimum: 2k

The manip of Stella and Scully came from dawnofthewench on tumblr!

Link Here!

3) THE SLASH EXCHANGE

In the past, people have expressed apprehension about getting a slash prompt that they didn't feel comfortable writing. It became a trend that if someone got a slash prompt, they'd drop out. As a result, usually I ask for MSR or gen only

NOT THIS TIME, BABY - HEAR ME LOUD AND QUEER, NOVEMBER 19TH WILL BE GAY. Mulder and Krycek, Scully and Reyes, Mulder and Skinner, Scully and Marita, Scully and Diana, Mulder and Flukeman -- is it queer? Then it's perfect.

I, Nicole, the admin, am obviously queer. This often (has put/)puts individuals in an awkward position of fearing they might come across as homophobic if they don't want to write a queer ship. I completely understand that is not the case.

Maybe you LOVE Mulder/Krycek but have no idea what you'd do if you had to write a WLW ship or vice versa. I understand that is a valid concern. In the sign up sheet, I have an area where you can mark if there's a certain type of ship you'd prefer not writing. Just lemme know.

Details Slash Exchange

Exchange Date: November 19th

This is a two(ish) month writing period.

Word Minimum: 2k

Link Here!

GENERAL

I am so excited to see what everyone comes up with! Again, these are three independent exchanges with nothing to do with one another. You can sign up for one, all three, none, whatever you feel like.

If you've never signed up before and/or are uncertain of the rules, I would advise that you read chapter one of this fic! If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me!

Just some misc things about signing up:

- If you're not comfortable putting your address on this document, no problem. You just need to ensure that I have it.

- Some people have issues accessing the sign-up sheet on their phones. If you're having problems, I suggest trying it on your desktop. If nothing seems to be working, then just send me your info and I'll put it on the sheet.

- I know it can be tricky to think of prompts, and I totally don't mind at all if you have TBD in place of the prompt for a while, but please try to put something in there when you can -- even if you change your mind later. I just ask this because sometimes people are hesitant to sign up if they don't know what the prompts are. Again, please feel free to put TBD so that your info is confirmed and you're joined, just add the prompt when you think of it!

Thank you for reading the thread! If you've made it here and are just ready to sign up, here are all the links in one place!

Darkfic

Stella/Scully

Slash

All signups close Sunday the 25th at 11:59pm CST

50 notes · View notes

skyloftian-nutcase · 1 year

Note

AAAAAHHH i didn't expect you to actually write something for it so omg thank you for the snippet! ❤️ i hope this was the trigger event that got wild on the course for proper treatment but OUCH. What a way for everyone else to find out about his previous injuries. And i hope that if anyone else was involved in the collision, that they're ok - for wild's sake, as i imagine the guilt would eat him up 😭

I love hyrule so much and hate (love) the fact he was the first to know this patient was one of the boys. It must have been so scary to stay professional but i bet he managed it if he was needed. I think of him (based on what you've written so far) as the kind of person to not shut down all his feelings in order to get on with the job, but that he just manages to reign it in enough to do what he needs to do, and maybe even his emotions actually help him. Like they kick him into high gear quick response mode and fuel his determination to do everything he can to save someone. Everyone has different coping mechanisms but he strikes me as the type to not repress, but make feelings useful. So then he emotionally crashes immediately after events rather than it being something that hits later. idk if this rings true to your feelings on him but i loved seeing him in this snippet and can't wait to see him more and the other's reactions too, if you ever add on more to that scenario!

(And hey, on that - i get so excited about even fragments of writing and i know others feel the same, so don't feel you have to make one cohesive chronological fic with all the gaps filled in. Just peering through the cracks at individual events is great especially as we know a loose timeline of when things happen. Jump around between past and present, it's cool! Be kind to yourself please, you're doing great!) 🌕

P.S. BUT WHO WILL FIX HIS BIKE?!!?!!!!??

Of course! :) Wild's issues can be fun to write, though I have to remember that Wild Angst is absolutely a thing that will open the flood gates, so I will hide behind Sky (and you) when it happens XD

It's definitely the trigger that gets them to realize Wild's "not right in the head, you ding dong what's wrong with you" antics are more serious than they thought. Which leads to investigating. Which leads to a certain surgeon remembering a certain patient. Ahem.

I love your take on Hyrule! That fits with the vibe I get from him. :D As you said, everyone copes differently! Legend copes with sarcasm and a tough exterior, not letting anything bother him. Wars copes by shutting off emotions to address later. Sky copes by not even registering that it's bothering him through sheer mental avoidance. Just to name a few. But Hyrule can absolutely use his emotions to push himself and be more determined than ever, even if it leaves him drained like he just ran a mental marathon afterward.

I'll eventually write this, it's definitely on the list of Plot Things That Will Eventually Happen! Alongside the rest of Sky's Crappy War Angst, Wars' Trip with PTSD, Cia Shenanigans, Legend's Darkest Secret, Sky Gets Sick and Gives Time a Heart Attack, and other highlights. :D

And thank you for the reminder, you're so sweet. <3 <3 <3 I know y'all are enjoying this AU so much and do occasionally need to be reminded that my hodge podge way of writing it is ok lol. I appreciate it so much. <3 <3 <3

#you ask skye answers #lovely moon anon #lovely anon #lu in healthcare #I have no idea who will fix the poor bike lol #the boys and I will have to figure it out

21 notes · View notes

findroleplay · 10 months

Note

AOT RP

heyyy! F19 :D - GMT timezone I'm looking for OCxCC (can double if necessary) roleplay for AOT (attack on titan)

I am desperately in love with Levi Ackerman, so I’d really like my OC to be shipped with him! I can try and play anyone in return, but if I’m honest I’ve not watched enough of AOT to know everyone and all the plot, so il try my best.

I'm open to anything really! Violence, angst, smut. I also don't have any major triggers but i'll let you know if we find one. I can match writing styles and lengths so thats not a problem! But please do tell me if there's anything you don't want involved in the roleplay, and I will avoid it at all costs!

One thing I should add is that I have Anxiety and ADHD, which makes me super impatient, I will often spam/over message about replies and stuff in general - so if you want me to lay off please tell me I wont take offence, I would rather know than loose a roleplay partner / friend! <3

#roleplay #rp #oc rp #AOT rp #attack on titan rp

4 notes · View notes

whumpzone · 2 years

Note

Hello! I gotta say, you're my absolute favorite whump recovery writer on tumblr and I'm so happy I found Linden and Colton!! I was hoping to start my own whump/comfort story on my page, but frankly I'm unsure of how to even begin! I don't really know how to navigate my page to begin with, let alone know where to start when it comes to making my own story and sharing it! (I'm not very tumblr-cultured lol) But if you have any tips or advice for me on how to get started or work a page, I'd be happy to hear it! (no pressure ofc) Thanks!

Hello!

Thank you for the very kind words! I'm really happy you're interested in writing a story of your own. I hope it'll be hugely rewarding

Here are some jumbled bits of advice:

-Consider writing multiple chapters before you post anything. Something I struggle with is that my characters feel a lot less developed in the earlier chapters. Lots of times, characters will write themselves as you go along. This then means you can go back and add in more detail to your earlier chapters before anything has been posted. It also ensures that you're committed to your story before you get any external feedback

-A consistent schedule is a great goal, but don't sweat it too much. I'd definitely recommend it, but life happens! It's your blog and should never become another source of stress

-Don't fret if you don't get much engagement at first. Learn not to take it personally! You should write for yourself primarily, not for the validation of others <3

-Continuing on that thought... you're writing for yourself! For fun! Try out weird tropes, different narration styles, whatever you like. Don't be held back by worries that it won't get many notes

-Make a masterlist as a top priority, and pin it to your blog. You can use mine or any other whump blog as a guide on how it could look

-Utilise the first 5 tags. Save your tag rambling until after your main tropey tags that people look for!

-Put content warnings in the post and if it's a long chapter, put a readmore. Use your content warnings generously. People are making sure they're avoiding triggering content, but they're also making sure that this writing has the Shit They Like

-Enjoy yourself and enjoy other people's work. If you like something, tell them in an ask, a reply or a reblog! Reblog picrew chains that say "tagging anyone who wants to". Post fun facts about your characters or make your own tag game. Ask games are fun, but I would recommend not reblogging too many at once, and not all the time. It can be confusing and if you don't get many asks, you might feel let down

-Truly though, just have fun! Your blog is unique and yours and you can do with it as you please. It's your own curated portion of the internet to enjoy whump and share your art in any form you like

#hollowgast1 #asks

28 notes · View notes

ofgearhead · 9 months

Text

. LAWS

I will keep these straightforward. If you are confused with anything, please come to me directly.

BEHAVIOR:

Treat others the way you want to be treated. One thing I will not tolerate is bullying, shitty behavior, mind-games, manipulation, vague blogging, and drama. I am not against using hardblock if I must.

TRIGGERS

My triggers are the general; r*pe, inc*st, any type of assault on a minor, callouts, chain letters (ex; if you don't send this to 3 people you/a loved one will die.)

TAGGING

There will be blood, NSFW, and gore on this blog. Therefore, I will tag them accordingly. That said, if you follow me, and you do not tag your posts, I will refrain from following you for my safety. Thank you for understanding.

FOLLOWERS

Please, for the love of all things holy, if you have no intention of interacting with me, please do not follow me. I do not care if you followed for the sake of being nice. What is not nice is following when you know, for a fact, we will not be threading, speaking, or overall have 0 communication and dismissing somebody who is trying to reach out.

I imagine that would be annoying on the other side too. Constantly getting inbox prompts from a muse you have no interest to engage, and you just wish they would go away. I understand that. What I do not understand is why keep em hanging by a thread? So yeah, long story short. I do not practice follow4follow.

Hardblock or softblock me if you have to. ^^ No hard feelings.

Minors, homophobes, r*cists, transphobes, personals DNI.

PERMISSION

When you follow me, you agree you are 18+ (preferably 21+ as I am 30+ and do not feel comfortable rping with somebody who cannot even legally drink.)

MULTIPLES & RESERVATIONS

I do not practice exclusivity or mains, or shipping exclusivity or shipping mains. It blocks potential threading content. I will gladly write with whoever wants to write with me.

SAFETY

Take care of yourself! If you see content I am dishing out with a mutual that triggers you, come to me directly. I can create the appropriate tag just for you! I like to think of my blog as a safe space for everyone. (If you rather just block me all together, I understand.) We all must do what we have to in order to have a sane mind and a safe writing journey!

FOLLOWING/UNFOLLOWING

If I do not follow back/unfollow, please don't take offense! Rarely do I ever not follow back/unfollow. And if I do, it is usually because of the following;

-You do not tag your posts. -I know absolutely nothing about your muse or the world they are in. (I usually follow back even if I know just the name and where they came from lol). -You have written something that doesn't make me feel safeto be tuned into your blog. -You have broken one of my rules. -You harass me for replies. (I have a job. I sometimes won't get to things as quickly.) -We do not interact / show no interest in interacting (ex; never sending memes, never replying to comments, never replied to a meme(s) I sent months ago, overall avoidance.)

Will add more if I can think of any or if the situation crosses!

INTERACTIONS

I'm someone who matches my partner's energy. If my partner is as excited to write with me as I am with them, I will likely gravitate into sending lots of memes and hope for many interactions. <3 If my partner shows interest in other things, (or is tired) I will back off and give them space.

It's nothing against anyone. It's a bow of respect. ^^ I understand what it's like to want to focus on a thread/mutual that's grabbed your attention and gives you starry eyes. I want my partner(s) to indulge. Once they are ready for other interactions, I will be here. ^^

OATH I vow to keep your safety and best interests in my radar! I will ensure our RPs are fun, satisfactory and to our liking! Let's create a world together!

SELECTIVITY

This blog is going to be a bit choosy and selective with who I follow.

#rules

4 notes · View notes

mikko-lyn · 11 months

Text

AOT RP

heyyy! F19 :D - GMT timezone I'm looking for OCxCC (can double if necessary) roleplay for AOT (attack on titan)

#aot #aot rp #levi roleplay #aot roleplay #Aot #lynnie-bae <3 #Einnyl

2 notes · View notes

larrydoinglaundry · 2 years

Note

omg omg I just finished love is a word, you gave it a name and I'm absolutely freaking out omg thank you for writing it and I am SO looking forward to the epilogue.

sooo can you recommend me other age difference fics?

Hi!

First of all thank you so much! I'm so happy you enjoyed it so much <3

And but of course! 👀 I already have one age difference rec made here. Please check it out, it has some amazing works!

I'll add a few in this ask. Read tags of each work to avoid triggers and things you don't like. The fics are in no particular order. I tagged the authors that I know on tumblr! Sorry I missed so many :(

First off, my fic that you mentioned, for anyone interested.

love is a word, you gave it a name (158K, E) @larrydoinglaundry

After two decades in brutal show business, Louis Tomlinson is trying to restore his tranquility of mind in the peace of Northern Europe where the sun barely sets, Maria's bar is always open, and young Harry has an irresistible spark in his eyes.

Now onto the rest...

The Nation's Sweetheart (77K, E)

In limped a graceful giant; slim bodied but broad shouldered with thick thighs. Harry's hair was a little wild where it had grown out of it's usually boyish short style.

For some reason Louis' fingers flexed, as if wanting to course through the flicks in the bottom of his rich brown hair.

It had been curly once. Louis had seen pictures of him innocent with wide green eyes and a wider, bright white, toothy grin. Everything about him screamed privilege.

Louis wondered if he knew he'd only taken this job to stop him losing his flat.

Note: I think Louis is only 28 in this and Harry is early twenties, so not much of a big difference! But it's tagged as age difference, and that's how I originally found it.

You rock hard (I rock steady) (4K, E)

"I'm yours, daddy. But tonight, you're mine." Harry leaned even closer, letting his warm breath hit directly over Louis' mouth. "Cause now I'm in charge," Harry said with a devious smirk.

And Louis knew he was fucked

Note: Power Bottom Harry! Read the tags. Harry's only 17, Louis is 26.

Rescue me from my destiny (35K, E)

Louis is just tired. He's lonely and doesn't feel like there's any hope of finding someone genuine in this life.

Note: Cis girl Harry!

Swoon baby, starry nights (14K, E)

Harry posts pictures of himself on Tumblr. Louis takes notice.

Note: Harry is 20, Louis is 25, so again, not much of a difference, but I found it from the tag ages ago! Sexy sexting.

I was in my car, you were touching yourself (1K, E) @homosociallyyours

Harry starts thinking about the attractive stranger driving beside her as she's getting off on a long road trip. Turns out she's good enough to think about Louis while she's touching herself.

Note: Girl Direction! Silver Fox Louis! Short but burning hot😳

Anything to make you happy (2K, Not rated)

It wasn't a secret how Harry liked to make everyone in his neighbourhood happy. He would bake cookies, play with the kids and do whatever they all want to make their day productive and to add a bit of happiness. He liked to say that he was the reason behind their smile. With this attitude and high empathy towards everyone, Harry was everyone's favourite neighbour. The twenty-one-year-old man couldn't be happier than treating everyone with so much care and kindness.

As everyone in the neighbourhood loved him so much and appreciated his soft side of doing everything for others, some of them were rooting for more, to get a bit more care from Harry and there was no doubt that Harry would be wholeheartedly doing as they say.

Even if it's just tonight (26K, E)

Louis and Harry happen to switch their suitcases in the airport's bathroom and it's possibly the best mistake Harry has ever made.

Haven (35K, M)

"I take it you’re not a new student?”

“What?” Harry mumbles, caught up in the way his eyes are quite literally sparkling in the light. “Oh—No. Not a student.”

“Are you a sub?” Louis asks.

Harry clenches his hands into fists, holding them behind his back as he stumbles a bit. “I don’t, uh—I mean. I’ve never really gotten a chance to be a true sub, you know? My ex-partners were always scared they’d hurt me. But, like—If I trusted someone a lot, and if we used a, a safeword. And talked about, you know, boundaries, then—Yes, yeah, I-I’m a sub.”

Louis’ eyes are so wide, his cheeks puffing out in the effort to not burst into laughter.

“Oh shit, oh my god,” Harry whispers. “You meant—Oh god."

I wanna thrill you tonight (10K, E)

"What does that have to do with my being a virgin?"

"Virgin blood is the sweetest of all."

Or the one where Louis is a vampire, and things don't go as expected.

That's what I'm there for (46K, E)

Louis Tomlinson is a dairy farmer on a tiny farm in eastern Canada. His wife of nearly thirty years has left him and his children are all grown up and out of the house. Louis needs help running his business but has no idea where to even start looking. Luckily for him his children know just the man for the job.

Say Something (105K, E) by @kingsofeverything

At fifty years old and recently divorced, Omega Harry Styles isn't interested in dating. When his doctor suggests a heat and rut matching service, he signs up out of necessity. It’s the only use he has for an Alpha in his life.

Twenty-eight-year-old Alpha Louis Tomlinson aims to change that.

Happy reading!!! Remember to leave kudos and a comment even if the author is seemingly inactive.

#my fic recs #age difference

19 notes · View notes

traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 7 months

Note

Hello, I think this might be triggering for some but I don't know how to word the TW. Probably misdiagnosis of bpd and power abuse by doctors, hurtful comments towards people with bpd.

I am very afraid to be diagnosed with bpd, I honestly don't think I have it, but I saw many girls getting this diagnosis. When I was in psychiatry, almost every girl who spoke up against abuse (mostly from their parents) was then diagnosed with bpd. We were all 10-14 years old. And they were treated differently. If they spoke up, they were called liar because "Your parents never did anything wrong in their lifetime, it is just your sick brain that thinks that", doctors used to say that, whenever a girl spoke up against anything. (I never spoke up so I wasn't diagnosed with anything but "in puberty" which was also wrong).

They also always said things like "People with bpd will never recover, all good times are only short breaks between relapses" and things like that. So yeah, a bpd diagnosis always had a bitter taste to me. I also saw how differently I was treated by the CPS, unlike my friend with the diagnosis, though we had the same unhealthy mindset. I know some friends who weren't treated by their "normal" doctors anymore, because "people with bpd always lie" etc.

But I also saw other therapists, outside that one psychiatry, who very often and very quickly diagnosed someone with bpd (like a therapist I visited who said after 15min that I probably have it).

And while I am pretty confident in my self diagnosis, I am afraid to go to therapy and to be wrongly diagnosed with bpd. I mean, in my experience if you speak up against the diagnosis, that's a further proof for doctors. I feel like, once I would have that stamp on me, there's no going back, ever.

I'll check out some therapists, starting on Tuesday, but I wanted maybe some ideas, how could I make my point clear to therapists, how can I tell them about my self diagnosis and my certainty that I don't have bpd, without idk giving them further proof of anything or else. Or, how can I overcome my fear of being misdiagnosed. Idk, it seems weird but this fear was one of the reasons I didn't visit therapists for many years.

Because I didn't want to be told "You never experienced abuse, you are the problem" or "You will suffer forever" all the time by the therapist.

Have a nice weekend!

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry about your experiences. Being treated differently for having a particular diagnosis, regardless of whether or not that diagnosis is accurate, is unacceptable and sanist, and I'm sorry you've had to hear such hurtful comments. It's unfortunately common for psych wards to misdiagnose BPD, which adds to the overall stigma of the disorder. Having a stigmatized diagnosis can feel like a burden and it's understandable why you wouldn't want to be diagnosed with it.

Finding a therapist that avoids pathologizing their clients can be tricky. While some therapists are unfortunately hasty to diagnose their clients, there are also many therapists out there who are aware of the dangers of pathologization and may even discourage seeking any diagnoses. Therapists should acknowledge the humanity of their clients first, instead of categorizing their thoughts or behaviors as "symptomatic" or "disordered". It's also possible to be re-evaluated and "undiagnosed" if you feel you no longer meet the criteria for a particular disorder, which can wipe the diagnosis from your record, so no diagnosis has to be a permanent label.

A good therapist will never tell you that your experiences aren't valid or that you will never improve, and if a therapist does tell you this, then this is not the right therapist for you (or anyone). It's important to be honest and open with your therapist, because the more they know about you, the better they can help you. Perhaps writing down your thoughts before you come into the session can help you feel more prepared about what you'd like to discuss.

I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #tw abuse #tw medical abuse #tw emotional abuse

2 notes · View notes

llycaons · 1 year

Text

now that I’ve gone through the entire tag (some pages twice) it’s time to settle down and sort through the one thousand, eight hundred (!!!!) works in my marked for later. not-so-quick note on my personal preferences, and what you can expect to be included or excluded from my rec list

so, in general my favorite fanfic tropes can be categorized as hurt/comfort and angst with a happy ending. as reflected from the source material, I read and may recommend works containing graphic, disturbing, or potentially triggering content, including writing related to sexual assault, grief/mourning, trauma, and suicide. I will summarize each work, but please note the tags and warnings on any fic listed here if that’s a concern for you.

on the flipside, I do not read works that end unhappily - all these end hopefully at the very least. no main characters will die who aren’t already dead in canon, wx will always be together or getting there (or, in the case of sad flashback-era fics, will eventually get there), and many of these works reflect themes of healing, recovery, and finding peace. I’ll make note of any exceptions, but there are pretty strong preferences for me, so there won’t be many. and I like sweet and fluffy things too, as well as humor and interpersonal drama and worldbuilding and action - there will be a mix of various types or works

this is an 18+ rec list! explicit works will be on here in any category. additionally, what else the author has written may or may not affect whether I rec something, but I’ll make a note if I know there’s an issue. I also can’t guarantee all authors will be vetted, but I can make a note for authors whose works I trust completely not to be weird or gross

fics recommended in this list are guaranteed NOT to have the following, and please let me know if I mistakenly included anything containing them:

pedophilia/csa, teacher/student relationship, sexual ageplay, or any couple with a canon age gap (even nhs with mxy, or lxc with jc)

incest, including wwx with jc, and jin ling with lzs (the canon incest may be mentioned, but I find that comes up rarely in works I read)

romanticized rape (incl. sex under duress or when unable to consent); everything under the umbrella of ‘noncon’, ‘dubcon’, fuck or die, sex pollen, sex curses, drunk sex scenes, warprize, nonconsensual (or even consensual) somnophilia, necrophilia, etc - unless treated as a traumatic experience - I have several SA recovery works bookmarked and in my MFL

*note on novel ‘canonical kinks’ - a couple of fics do obliquely reference rape fantasy, but they’re few and far between, and there are no actual scenes depicting it. I will mark them so readers will know

abusive wwx or lwj (or anyone not already abusive)

dark!wwx or lwj (🙄)

xy/xxc unless it’s treated as fucky

genderbends/cisswap

fics feminizing wwx - some gray area since he’s gnc in the novel and I really do like seeing that explored; there is one exception to this rule and it will be marked

RPF

A/B/O

cop AUs

CEO wwx or lwj (except for parody)

character x reader

h*rry p*tter

asexual or demisexual wwx and/or lwj: I don’t have an issue with any other characters being aro or ace but they just didn’t come up very often

plus more that I habitually avoid and assume everyone following me does too, but I’m drawing a blank rn. feel free to message me to add more

due to personal preference, there will be also be no, or very little of the following:

crossovers

meet-cutes, hook-ups, breakup fics (even if they get back together), friends with benefits, fake dating/relationship

self inserts

reincarnation

soulmate AUs

age regression (even if non-sexual)

camboy/stripper/sex worker/brothel/courtesan AUs (they’re usually awful but I do have one exception)

kinky stuff besides bdsm. not what I’m here for

*bdsm fic is not something I particularly seek out or enjoy, but since it’s kind of unavoidable so you can expect a fair amount of that

*like I really dislike reading orgasm delay/denial but it’s everywhere so *shrug*

*spanking and more specific kinks like petplay, watersports, inflation, tentacle shit, etc. will not show up since I don’t like them

any reference to the PM kiss unless it’s treated with the gravity is should be

time travel

youtube/socmed, high school, robots/androids, sports, office, assassin, spy, royalty, science fiction, idol, shapeshifting, reality tv, celebrity, mafia, actor, professor, military, or fairy tale AUs

significant canon divergence AUs

significant fix-its

junior-centric (and anything where they’re shipped with each other or anyone else)

fics over 3 chapters (with a handful of exceptions)

Hanahaki disease

mpreg: obviously trans men and and do get pregnant, but I’m wary of anything tagged mpreg since generally speaking, this type of fic is quite weird about trans men. also some mpreg is literally about cis men getting pregnant which like...???

threesomes...sorry, there are just no good ones that people write very much about

podfics/video format

fics that try to pretend like myu was a good mother lmao

I have the tag ‘oblivious wwx’ blacklisted so that might tell you something

if jc is there, people are probably bullying him, but I dislike fics written by jc haters as much as by uncritical jc fans

drawn-out miscommunication for the sake of romantic angst. super annoying

juniors shipping wx 🙄

I have ‘possessive lwj’ blacklisted but this is also something else that’s sort of everywhere; if it’s present it’s either recognized as a flaw and well-controlled, or isn’t very significant

also, the only couples I really read about or rec are

wx (number one, baby - most other couples are usually background sorry but nothing overshadows Them)

mianqing

yanqing (MAYBE)

songxiao

xuanli

nielan (background only)

xiyao (as a toxic or past relationship only)

cssr/wcz (background only)

ONE instance of wq/jc

one-sided nhs/wwx

yaoyang lmao

wq/wwx, sexually but not romantically. like platonic BM-era comfort sex

+ random one-offs like wlj/wq, jc/jzx, and others, perhaps (??)

if you’re still reading, thanks <3

#ficblogging #save #I initially said 'a quick note' but uhh it wasn't

1 note · View note