#so they don't start to identify as nonbinary until later

[sariels-world-ella]

Sw!Fallenswap Frisk doesn't give a sh*t

Undertale by Toby Fox

Sw!Fallenswap by me

Without text:

#undertale #undertale by toby fox #sw!fallenswap #undertale au #underswap au #au frisk #frisk au #frisk #au stuff #nonbinary #i made Fallen!Frisk also use she because she was born in 1901 and though it existed back then it wasn't something that she would have #been exposed to #so they don't start to identify as nonbinary until later #they still dress in feminine attire #i don't blame them #it's fashionable

[jacebeleren]

It bothers me so much that the only transfem rep in mtg cards is this like. Soldier military woman, like 'ooh look at this guy's we made a trans woman who's a part of a war machine' fantastic thank you magic very original

=========

Okay.

First of all, there is no "our" interpretation of the text. My thoughts are my own, and your thoughts are your own. Some of our thoughts might align, but I will not allow you to speak for me.

Second, I am sorry you feel so disappointed in the current state of transgender representation in Magic. I understand your concerns and I think they're valid concerns.

Third, your concerns being valid does not mean I agree with what you have to say, though. Don't come into my inbox complaining unless you're ready for me to honestly respond. Respectfully, your approach to these concerns makes it clear to me that you don't actually understand what you're talking about.

It's apparent that you follow me or have at least seen many of my posts. You appear to respect my opinions / analysis (at least regarding Jace and Tezzeret). So listen to me when I say this:

What constitutes 'good' representation is context-dependent, and it's not something you alone get to decide.

Yes, Alesha is a "soldier military woman", as you said. I understand that you have this complaint because you believe this makes Alesha an example of the stereotype that trans women are violent. But context matters. What you're failing to consider is the fact that she comes from the Mardu Horde, a faction on Tarkir inspired by the Mongol hordes of real-world history. In this context, Alesha isn't presented as violent because she's a trans woman. She's violent because she literally comes from a warrior clan based on one of the greatest military forces in human history. And honestly, with Magic being a combat-centric game, she's not any more violent than any non-Mardu Legends, either.

Do you seriously think a story about a trans woman fighting to proudly declare her trans identity in her culture and later becoming the accomplished and well-respected leader of her clan is bad representation? Does the fact that she's a warrior really outweigh the rest of the lovingly crafted trans narrative they created for her, to you?

It's fine if you feel that way. You don't have to like Alesha or her story. But just because something wasn't made for your taste doesn't mean it's bad writing / bad representation.

Anyway, I highly recommend you read Alesha's story, "The Truth of Names", since it seems like you haven't read it yet. It's a fantastic story-- the most beloved short story in all of Magic, actually. It was the most-read article on the entire Magic website for like 5 years, according to WOTC.

And if you're interested in learning more about transfem characters in Magic who aren't Alesha, I recommend you read about Xantcha, who first appears in the novel "Planeswalker".

Next, I need to make things clear about Ashiok.

Ashiok was never intended to be nonbinary representation. Ashiok was created to be a mysterious, unknowable villain. What makes Ashiok special is that we are not mean to know anything about Ashiok. We do not know Ashiok's species or plane of origin, for example. Another part of that element of mystery is not knowing Ashiok's gender, or how Ashiok identifies. Ashiok's original style guide from Theros explicitly instructs people to not use any pronouns for Ashiok at all (which I still follow because old habits are hard to break.) Official Magic sources did not begin to use they/them pronouns for Ashiok until 2022, in the story "A Garden of Flesh" (another excellent story, BTW.) And they only started using they/them for Ashiok because it is really hard to write a story where the character is mentioned that many times without pronouns.

All this to say: Ashiok as intentional nonbinary representation is certainly not the narrative WOTC is pushing.

Yes, there are many fans of Ashiok who interpret Ashiok as nonbinary, but those are their thoughts and you need not concern yourself with that, if it bothers you so.

As for Niko, it's weird that you say they're "non-existent" in Magic story when 2 of the 5 side stories ("Know Which Way the Wind is Blowing" and "Aim Through the Target") in their debut set Kaldheim were entirely focused on Niko. They're also a starring main character in 15 of the 25 issues of the BOOM! Studios Magic comics.

I'm glad you like my analysis of Jace and Tezzeret as transgender characters. Thank you for that, genuinely. But I want you to understand that the reason I have these interpretations is because I love Magic Story. And more importantly, I actually read it. I love Magic Story, and I have so much respect for the Magic Narrative team and the work they do.

What most people don't understand is that the Magic Narrative Team is in fact very careful and very loving in their approach to queer representation. You may not know this about me, but I'm friends with A LOT of people who formerly or currently work on Magic / Magic Story. Knowing these people personally, I know for a fact that the Magic creative Team does not create queer characters for "diversity points". They're not just checking boxes. The Magic creative team creates queer characters because the Magic creative team is full of queer people and allies who want to tell stories that reflect their own + fans' experiences. And they have to constantly fight to include more / better queer representation in Magic. They want good queer representation in Magic just as much as we do.

Am I going to defend everything they do? No! Are they perfect? No! They are just people. They make mistakes and they have blind spots. For example, in my essay about my analysis of Jace as a trans man, I explain that the reason my interpretation means so much to me is because there is currently zero meaningful representation for trans men in Magic canon. There are zero transgender male characters in Magic canon who have names. That's a HUGE blind spot considering the number of canon trans characters! That's something that disappoints and upsets me.

I'm not afraid to criticize Magic Story, and I do so very often. But I am critical of Magic story because I love it. My criticism does not equal hatred or unhappiness.

Sorry to hear that their efforts at including better trans representation in Magic would piss you off. I'm sorry that you've given up.

Lastly, I think Liliana is cis, but that's just my headcanon.

#mtg #gwunky #long post

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for the way this friendship ended?

It's over and done now but I still feel guilty. I met this person on tumblr years ago, like ten, and we got close, sort of big sister/little sister sort of thing since we had a bit of an age gap, I would try to give advice, we sent each other parcels, that sort of thing. Last summer, I even flew to visit them for quite a few days and we had a really good time. They confided in me about being nonbinary and after I went home, I spent more and more time every day sort of fielding...their drama. About their family and their mental illness and their gender identity, they sort of just spouted it all out and I tried my best to be really supportive and not put them down even when it was complaining about how their parents got takeout from the wrong place. (Yes, a rant that I received at least once a week.)

It got worse from there. I ended up staying up until 3am, 4am, having these long text conversations about the problems in their life, and since they talked about suicidal (and I talked them down SEVERAL times during the course of our correspondence) I never disagreed with what they were complaining about, even if I did think they were actually in the wrong. I didn't want to upset someone who seemed in a very delicate place.

Anyway, one morning I wake up and they're telling me they want to make a cake to reveal their gender identity to their parents. Specifically a blue and white and pink cake. I asked why they wouldn't use the colors for the nonbinary flag, since that was, until that moment, what they had always told me they identified as, and they got really mad, said I was transphobic, didn't message me until later to inform me that after telling their therapist what I had done, they could move on. So I was a little confused since it seemed that they had decided they weren't nonbinary anymore, and this argument started over a hypothetical cake. Also I was a little frustrated that they had--the night before--given me the list of things they were going to talk about with their therapist and instead spent that time complaining about me, who at that point was so sleep-deprived from staying up late every single night just trying to keep them from feeling suicidal...idk I was frustrated.

Anyway, after a few days, they contacted me, and I told them that I couldn't keep doing the whole sounding board thing. I couldn't just be the person they complained at, and it wasn't fair to me that they were placing so much stress on me every time they would talk about being suicidal and use me as a way to come down instead of someone in their house who could actually physically be there. I also admitted that I would lie to them and say I agreed with their complaints because I wanted them to stay happy with me and not feel attacked. They replied that I was obviously very untrustworthy and we could no longer have any sort of relationship because of what I had done. And we basically cut all contact. They deleted all their social media and I was forbidden from texting/emailing them so I literally have no idea if someone I cared enough about a year ago to spend the money to fly to visit is still alive.

I just don't know. I feel super guilty about it all and AITA for this? I thought I was doing my best to be supportive but I just screwed everything up and lost a ten year friendship because of a make-believe cake.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[our-trans-youth-experience]

Can you give me some advice as I'm questioning my gender yet again.

So basically, I'm an AFAB teenager, and up until about 8 I went with girl [and was very feminine], then 8 til around a year or two ago, I didn't really care cause it just didn't matter to me. Then I identified as demigirl, then genderfluid, and now nonbinary, and I was just considering starting to use he/they pronouns when I started to get stressed about gender. I feel dysphoria sometimes, and I was so upset when I got my period and stuff, though I don't know if that was just not wanting to grow up. I don' understand women, or why you'd want to be one, but occasionally I feel more fem, but I don't want to be a girl. If I could have been born a boy I would've, and if I ever think into the future, I'm only happy if I think of being a man. Sometimes i don't feel dysphoric saying 'I am a woman' and sometimes [usually] that feels so wrong and stresses me out. IDK,I'll probably just stick to being non-binary, but I also want to be a man, and I wish that I'd been born one. Also,i've been quite depressed lately, and I've hated myself since I was 11, however, because I only started questioning my gender a year or two later,it can't really be connected to that, can it?

Hope you're doing good, and thank you for taking the time to do this.👍

Hey there anon, thanks for sharing your experience!

I don't know your brain so I can't tell you a specific label, but I can try give you some possibilities. From what I've understood, you are NOT a girl but occasionally feel more feminine, you feel non binary and also male at the same time.

Have you heard of bigender before? One of my friends is a bigender guy, meaning that he has two genders (male and non-binary).

Another one of my friends is aboy (agender boy) which means that it doesn't have a gender but wants to be perceived as a boy.

You could be a demiboy (someone who partially identifies as a boy), or genderfaun (fluid between multiple genders, but never female/feminine)

Or you might be like me! I'm a transmasc person. This means that I am a very masculine non-binary person, but not male. I use masculine and neutral terms, but obviously that is completely up to you.

About your period, being upset about your period definitely counts as dysphoria, you are not just afraid of growing up. If having a menstrual cycle becomes too distressing for you and you are in a situation that allows you to do so, I'd recommend that you look into ways to stop your period.

Hope this all helps a little, happy gender hunting!

#our trans youth experience #trans #trans youth #transgender #trans kids #enby #nonbinary #transmasc #queer #trans boy #genderfluid #gender identity #gender stuff #trans stuff #gender dysphoria #protect trans lives #protect trans rights #protect trans kids #pronouns

[wasted-women]

The Trope of the Day is Women in Refrigerators

Welcome to the wasted women tournament, a tournament to figure out what was the worst female character death!

If you don't know, women in refrigerators is a trope originally coined by comic writer Gail Simone in the 90s in response to the death of Alexandra DeWitt in the Green Lantern comics. She had been the Green Lantern Kyle Rayner's girlfriend who had been killed by the villain Major Force and her body stuffed into the refrigerator for Kyle to find. Since then, "fridged" has become a verb to refer to female characters who are senselessly killed in order to the male protagonists sad or angry without much regard to the woman herself. While originally referring specifically to comic books, the terminology has started to spread to any media.

There are typically two ways that women tend to be fridged:

A female character is written specifically to be fridged. The loving mother/older sister or the disposable love interests are both examples of this trope. These characters typically have very little agency or inner-world outside of the male protagonist— their relationship with the male character is essentially their whole role in the story.

A female character who is a character in their own right— they DO have their own inner-world— but then is killed off to affect the male characters or for plot convenience.

With all of that said, here are the rules for for submissions. Please make sure you read them all before you submit.

The submitted character has be a woman. ABSOLUTELY, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES, DO MALE CHARACTERS COUNT.

(Women in refrigerators is a trope about the senseless killing of female characters because they are thought of as more disposable by nature of being female. While some male characters are killed off for problematic reasons—see bury your gays or the black guy dies first tropes—this blog isn't about them. However, feel free to combine tropes by submitting queer women or women of color, as they are often killed off at higher rates than cishet or white women.)

For the most part, no resurrected characters. By that I mean no characters who die but later come back to life. However, if you think your character should still count despite their resurrection, feel free to make your case to me in the ask box. If you convince me, I will count them.

No characters who are injured or incapacitated but do not die. However, just like above, you can make your case to me in the ask box and if you convince me, I will count them.

Trans women are women, so feel free to submit trans characters. ABSOLUTELY NO TERFS ALLOWED ON THE BLOG— YOU WILL BE BLOCKED ON SIGHT. YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE.

No nonbinary characters unless they also identify with being a woman. Nonbinary people ≠ women. There aren't many nonbinary characters in media in general so I do not think this will be much of a problem but I wanted to specify just in case.

If the woman was killed off for a reason other than making male character(s) sad or plot convenience, then it does not count. This trope is not just any woman who died—there are plenty of ways to kill off a female character in a well-written way!— it's specifically unnecessary or gratuitous killing of female characters in a badly-written way.

I reserve the right to reject a character if I do not think they were actually fridged.

I reserve the right to reject a character if I am not comfortable including them.

I think this goes without saying but no real people.

No unofficial or small media (ex. fan media, OCs, a comic on someone's Tumblr, etc.) as I feel like that could encourage bullying on individual people. Stick to comics, TV, movies, anime, etc. etc. etc. Even if they are smaller but "official" in some way it can be included.

Submissions will be open until December 1st, but if I get a lot of submissions early on I will close them early.

SUBMIT HERE

#wasted women poll #female characters #women characters #trans women characters #women of color characters #woc characters #rules #poll tournament #poll bracket #submissions #poll submissions

[superspoonie24]

The super friends come to Nia about their gender identity!!

Brainy: he comes to Nia pretty early on. Like once they're friends and either when they start dating or before they start dating. He talks about how his culture didnt really have gender. Just.... Conquest. So when he joined the legion and stuff and they used he, he just went along. But he doesn't really know what it means. And well. He kinda wants to try she. And they. And Xe. Xe is very nice Xe thinks. And Nia is so supportive and helps xem research different identities to try and understand the language more. Xe appreciates the research. Agender sticks out to xem a lot. It just. No gender. Yeah. That fits. So Nia uses Xe/Xem for Brainy and also they make pronoun bracelets together! So if brainy wants to use a different pronoun that day, Nia will know!

Kara: it isn't until she's been friends with Nia for years, hell probably a decade that she talks to Nia about this. Nia helped her with her sexuality crisis a while ago. And now that her and Lena are engaged, Kara is really freaking out over if she identifies with the term "wife". She tells Nia that when Cat first named her Suoergirl, she had outrage over being "girl" when Kal-el was Superman. She accepted Cat's explanation. But it still felt... Wrong. Girl of Steel. Maiden of Might. It just didnt feel.... Right. She thinks back to krypton. About how she had conflicting thoughts even back then. But when she arrived on earth, her whole mission was to blend in. So being queer... Let alone gender nonconforming, was out of the question. So now that she is finally free to be herself. She can't help but dislike being girl. It's not that she doesn't feel girl. It's more like. She's more than that. There's girl and boy and everything in between. She's kara zor-el. Girl doesn't encompass all of that. Nia talks about being nonbinary and gender fluid. Kara likes those, but they don't feel quite right. Then Nia says genderqueer and a comforting warmth explodes in Kara's heart. They talk a bit more about pronouns, and Kara leans more towards they/them. But they do like he/him and occasionally she/her? Cause it's a part of them. Just not all of them. Brainy joins them in helping make pronoun bracelets, happy to share Xer experience with 'gender' and how similar Xe feel. Kara is very happy to have bracelets and to finally get it off their chest. They brainstorm possible new hero names and costumes. Kara isn't sure if they'll go through with a change, but it is really fun to think of new ideas. Maybe they'll give Winn a buzz. Or ask Cat for name suggestions.

Alex: she calls Nia while drunk one night having a breakdown over wanting to be esme's dad. But also being a mom. And it's so confusing because she always wanted to be a mom. So why does she now want to be a dad? Why is now when she likes the idea of growing facial hair. She's already been dressing masculine. But lesbians can be masc. But how can she be a lesbian if she wants to be called sir and he him and Dada. Isn't that a bad lesbian??? Nia comforts her over the phone, and is very tempted to come over to the house and hug her. She explains he/him lesbians exists and are so very valid. And that it's okay to want this. That she's not bad. She asks about if transmasc fits what Alex is thinking, and after a solid fifteen minutes of broken sobs, Alex quietly says "maybe????". Nia reassures them and tells them it's okay. She keeps the conversation light for now, but promises that they can talk about it again when Alex is sober. And they do. And Alex doesn't commit to an identity at first, but does admit that they want to use he/they. Nia congratulates him and Alex is very happy. And then a minute later has a breakdown over if Kelly will still want them. Cause she's a lesbian and don't lesbians not like men? That way at least. Nia reassures him and encourages them to talk to Kelly. Alex has a lot of panic. So they compromise and Nia sits with them while they talk to Kelly over the phone. Kelly is ecstatic to hear Alex' truth and reassures them a thousand times over that she still loves him and no gender identity will ever change that. Hell. She falls in love a little bit more seeing Alex embrace their full self. And seeing them with stubble and hearing esme call him "Dada" warms her heart (and maybe something else too). She loves her spouse and supports him 1000%.

#these are the main three I have ideas for right now #I might do nonbinary Lena? I'm not sure. I'm imagining them going on a gender journey and finding old pagan terms that explain themself #and then they think about changing their name and everyone supports it #(yes the name is gonna be a pagan witch bitch term like Sage cause Lena 1000% gives queer gnc witch vibes) #supergirl #gender #gender identity #super friends #brainy #kara Danvers #alex Danvers #Nia nal #kelly olsen #maybe kara goes by Zor lol #nonbinary #trans #transgender kara Danvers #transgender brainy #transgender alex Danvers #queer legend Nia nal #I just think Nia is so proud of her friends finally hatching 🥰🥚🍳🏳️‍⚧️

[axilarycobra]

Dragonets of Destiny LGTBQ+ Headcanons

I need to get going on posting these because I'm so behind (my school literally doesn't get out until THURSDAY). I'm just going to do the 1st arc protagonists right now because I like to make lots of headcanons about this stuff specifically (screw canon relationships) so it's probably long (*added note, it is long sry).

I already posted some of these on Insta and someone already commented on how it's hard to not debate me about these so please don't. They're just headcanons, they're mine, you don't have to believe them at all.

Clay

trans demiboy (he/they), gay, aromantic, polyamorous

quick note I want to make, I use trans demiboy to mean that Clay was afab. The distinction isn't that important, he'd still be a demiboy either way, it's just a little more specific to my hcs. For Glory, later on here who is a demigirl, hers just says demigirl because she was also afab.

This one evolved a lot over the *time frame (idk what it is)* that I've been making headcanons. Originally, Clay was just pan and that was it. Then, I was making a joke AU with my friend and Clay was trans in it but then I realized that I actually liked that so I decided to hc him as trans. The aromantic hc came with that just being a popular one with him, however, I don't hc him as aroace, I still like to think he has sexual attraction. Also, a lot of these come along with the polyamorous hc, that's because I ship them in relationships where they are with multiple dragons. I'll save those for another time since some get complicated.

Tsunami

genderfluid (she/her/they/them), lesbian, graysexual

Just like Clay (and all of these tbh), Tsunami has changed quite a bit. I originally hced her as just bi but I saw someone else hcing her as genderfluid and I liked that. There was a big spur in genderfluid hcs after I started to identify as genderfluid and that's visible throughout this. I also saw another person hcing her as lesbian which I think fit. The graysexual is a newer one, I didn't start hcing characters that until recently because I didn't even know what it was until recently, but I think it's a label that fits a lot of characters in my hcs.

Glory

demigirl (she/they), lesbian, asexual

Going to keep this one shorter. I always hced Glory as demigirl, that has never changed, but I used to hc her as bi. It wasn't until recently that I liked the lesbian hc. I'm actually not sure where the asexual hc came from but I like it, I think it fits well with the Glory that's portrayed in this hc AU I have.

Starflight

transmasc (he/him), gay, demiromantic, asexual

Starflight has probably changed the most. He originally was just a cishet guy, like, the only one of all the main characters. Then I started to like the Starflight x Flame ship and I was like, "ok, that has to change now" so it did. Then I started to like the popular transmasc Starflight hc and I added that. A while ago, I started to experiment more with aromantic and asexual spectrum hcs because I didn't have a lot of them and believed that they are definitely more common than I had them portrayed throughout these hcs.

Sunny

genderfluid/nonbinary (they/he/sun/sol), pan, aroflux, polyamorous

Sunny is the first character I had using neopronouns. I originally had them identifying as nonbinary but I also liked the genderfluid hc, ultimately, I decided that they could use both since that's kind of what I do. I know the aroace hc for Sunny is popular, but I like to think they still experience attraction, but it isn't always clear, hence aroflux. Sometimes sun feels attraction but it fluctuates. Also, the polyamorous hc comes along with the fact that I ship him in a relationship with multiple dragons, again, I'll save those for another day.

#wings of fire #wof #wof headcanon #wings of fire headcanon #lgbtq headcanons

[old-school-butch]

just wanted to say that following a butch older than 40 on here is SOOOO amazing like it blows my mind as a baby butch, it makes me feel like there actually is a future for me embracing being female AND being masculine. bc usually it's one or the other in today's "queer" circles. ppl have acted threatened of me being comfortable as a woman honestly?? like i can tell they just don't understand. a friend of mine even told me they (transmasc) just can't see me as a woman. i was like what do you mean? and they said idk i just can't, you just don't have the vibes. you feel so genderless. later i told them it hurt my feelings bc coming to terms with my womanhood meant a lot to me since i'm detrans, and they apologized and blamed it on their ex-girlfriend having had a looooot of internalized misogyny, and them needing to unlearn it. and now my brain is like... wondering if maybe that affected them identifying as nonbinary. idk. i still try to use they/them if ppl prefer it bc i try to be kind and i myself don't use my birthname and would be weirded out if ppl tried to use it for me. and from my history of dysphoria i know how painful (yet irrational) it can be. i'm just so aware that some ppl out there are identifying as nonbinary not bc they enjoy the identity but bc they're repressed and/or traumatized and have a lot of internalized bs. it makes me so, so sad. i want to help but if i say anything i'm a bigot, and i'm extremely scared of being seen as bigoted, it's a big source of anxiety for me. i'm living a double life right now, most of my friends irl are nonbinary but i have a radfem blog and i'm becoming very critical of gender. it feels like you just can't have a neutral conversation with someone about this. i tried with my nonbinary ex and they visibly started freaking out, and... not to be shitty but it really reminded me of how they acted when i saw them during cptsd episodes. it was like they were full of anxious energy, i couldn't say anything even slightly gender critical. there was a moment where i tried to pry a bit into their internalized sexism and they got this really harsh tone they had neverrrr taken with me in the 5 years we were together. they also regretted going on hrt and they had a moment of regretting top surgery too, but they pretended it never happened afterwards. anyways. it's just wild these days, and i worry about ppl who identify as nonbinary for the wrong reasons, for reasons that actually harm them. i hope there will be more resources for them over the years :/

Pretty interesting that your ex can keep a grip on control over you by ‘acting out.’ That’s not an irrational action, it’s effective. Which sadly describes the grip gender orthodoxy has on our community.

I completely hear you, I never told people I was trans and, if anyone asked had critiques of gender just kind of bubbling inside, but the reality was that other people told me I ‘must be’ trans. One said I was ‘a gay man trapped in the body of a lesbian’, so… I guess when I did something feminine I did it in a masculine way? Or, ya know, how I act is labeled in different ways because of reasons that have nothing to do with me and my existence as a woman.

Don’t beat yourself up about this - all the language and concepts were shoved down our throats. If women are people who identify as women, and if we accept that as true, what are the implications for our own existence and identities? The people creating this language didn’t care about us, and our silence trapped our doubts inside us.

Women won’t be free until we learn to care for ourselves as much as we care for others.

[mental-health-advice]

Hey!!! I could really use some advice about a confusing situation I'm in. Buckle the fuck up because this is long

So, I (14, f for the purposes of this ask, I'm not out as nonbinary) have this one really close friend (16m) in December of 2021 ago (I was 13 and he was 14 then) , we started dating, but only for about a month before I broke up with him because I thought I was a lesbian. (I now identify as aromantic but that's unrelated) it was very friendly, and we're still friends. But while we were dating, we started cuddling and hugging more, which was fine then, but after we broke up it started making me uncomfortable, but he kinda didn't stop. So I asked him not to, and he stopped, but then he started doing it again. So I asked him to stop again, and this time he seemed to get it, but he kinda didn't stop with the hugging, which still made me uncomfortable but I didn't wanna say anything about it because I know he likes hugs a lot.

Also, I should mention that we had sleepovers like, every friday for a long time

so. It was awkward for like the whole spring and summer, until the fall when he started opening up to me about how lonely he was. At first I was a little annoyed by him being so clingy with me, but later he said that he doesn't feel like he can talk to anyone but me about it, and he doesn't trust his family with his feelings.

(I should mention that we used to have sleepovers like, every Friday)

As more and more time went by, he got more and more clingy with me, and started cuddling me again, which at that point I had told him multiple times I didn't like, and crying when he did, like everytime we were alone together. And I didn't wanna just push him off me, because he was crying, so I just kinda let him. But he did this so much eventually it started sending me into panic attacks, and then we would both be crying, and it was awful. The thought of sleepovers now just make me really anxious. He opened up more about how he feels worthless and unhappy and he doesn't want to be alive because he doesn't think he makes anyone happy. And he keeps talking to me about it, and keeps hugging me even though I've told him so many times I don't like that, and trying to hold my hand even though I've told him I don't like that, (I think he is touch starved but I don't like touching) and apologizing, and sitting really close next to me, and sometimes when there's other people there!! And he always apologizes a lot afterwards and says he wishes he had more willpower so he could stop making me uncomfortable but like dude!!!! Just fucking stop!!!!! it makes me really uncomfortable and I'm getting mad at him about it but I don't know if I can just tell him that because he's really guilty about everything ever and I'm scared if I tell him I'm angry he'll become suicidal and kill himself and I don't want that obviously!!!!! I've told him to talk to his parents and get therapy before, and I know he's talked to his dad about it but I don't know if he actually said anything about how serious it is, and as far as I know he hasn't gone to therapy yet, but he keeps treating me like one!! I'm 14 and I have enough mental illnesses for both of us,, I am not a helpful therapist.

And it's been destroying my mental health!! Ive had multiple panic attacks because I'm so scared he's suddenly going to kill himself and it would be my fault for not helping him, and I've been worrying about him so much and I feel like it's my responsibility to take care of his mental health but I can't!!!!! I literally can't! I had to stop hanging out with him because being alone with him makes me extremely anxious!! But he keeps acting like I can help him!! And he's apologized for this before, but he never stops doing anything he's apologizing for, but I don't want to call him out on it because I don't want to hurt him more, but he made his entire life depend on my!! I can't take that!! It's killing me!! I'm mad at him but I feel like I'm not allowed to be mad at him, even though he keeps ignoring my boundaries and ruining my mental health. (I don't fully blame him though.) Should I tell him I'm mad at him???

So. Yeah. This is a mess. I still care about him so much but I have a limit. I'm sorry this is so long, I just don't know what to do.

Hey there,

I sympathise greatly with you with how hard and also how frustrating it can be when there is someone in our lives (and it could be anyone) who greatly depend on us despite us ongoingly telling them that we feel uncomfortable and feel unable to really help them. I think that it’s great that you have been able to continuously tell this person that hugging makes you feel uncomfortable. I think that it’s more than OK to be mad at him and especially as you have spoken to him on more than one occasion and even though he may be able to sub-consciously acknowledge this, he still continues to invade on your own personal space. So yes, this is something that you have every right to be angry at him for, regardless of what he may be going through/ struggling with in his own life.

In regards to you feeling guilty about the possibility of him harming himself or committing suicide, you can only do so much for him. You said yourself that you have your own mental health problems and life struggles to deal with, so please do not feel pressured into being there for him as well when you already have so much else going on in your life. It’s great that you have asked him to talk to his Dad regarding therapy. Sometimes this is all we can do, try as best as we can to refer them onto other services/ professionals who can help and are better equipped to do so. If him talking to his Dad is something that he won’t or doesn’t feel comfortable in doing, then perhaps you could suggest to him to contact a helpline either on the phone or on web counselling. I know that it isn’t the same as ongoing therapy but it’s therapy in the short-term at least and they may be able to refer him onto other services that will be able to help and support him long-term. Remember, he is not your responsibility to look out for and be his therapist as such, and it is in his own hands whether he reaches out for help or not but at least you would have pointed him in the right direction to help himself if/ when he is ready.

Despite wanting to help him but not being able to, I want you to please be gentle towards yourself and know that he is not your responsibility. Yes, if he chooses to act in ways such as suicide, you may feel guilty, but ultimately it is his choice with what he chooses to do. All you can do is to point him in the directions of help/ support from services and mental health professionals, and hope that he accepts it and makes that call to help himself. I know that this may sound harsh but there is only so much that you can do unfortunately.

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going OK!

Take care,

Lauren

#mha-lauren #advice #advice blog #mental health advice #anonymous #helping others

[naiadnb]

i truly believe the trans community has got to start openly and loudly supporting detrans folks. i wanna share my story with y'all, and it is long and possibly triggering? and i say at least one nsfw thing. but i feel like a lot of trans people only ever see detrans stories weaponized against them, and therefore there's a good chunk of the trans community that has (understandably) a lot of vitriol towards detrans people. so since it's pride month, i wanted to talk a minute about being a nonbinary detrans person.

when i first started learning about trans and nonbinary identities, i knew pretty much immediately that i was nonbinary. i was in high school by the time i found out that you could be a different gender than the one on your birth certificate, and i was over the fucking moon. problem was, i was a homeschooled navy brat pastor's kid 3 for 1 combo and so my literal Only exposure to any world outside of patriarchal gender & sexuality norms was.... you guessed it! tumblr.

tumblr around 2013-2015 was a pretty weird and vitriolic place to be nonbinary. half the site claimed you were faking, the other half was trying to lure you in by spouting the weirdest genders on god's green earth. (i love y'all go wild with ur genders that's just not my brand of existence.) so like.... i picked a side? i decided when i was around 15 that being nonbinary was kinda cringe and from that point on i identified as a trans guy.

cue fighting with my parents for like 7 years about the whole existence of trans people, the idea that i was a trans people, this weird belief i had that i should have bodily autonomy, and this weird belief that they had that pretty much anything could be cured if you prayed hard enough (from anxiety to cancer to, surprise, transgenderism)

the only way i came out of that fight as myself was through transitioning. i very loudly expressed that i Would do what i wanted with my body, and they had no right to control me. when i started t shots, i was 19, and i loved it.

i was euphoric every time i got gendered correctly by a stranger, i celebrated the first time i shaved real beard hairs from my face, it was beautiful. genuinely. i was part of a community of other trans guys ("guys" here ranging from "100,000% binary ftm transsexual" to "transmasc nb who's just happy to be here") and we loved each other hard.

i think i started consciously having to push away real doubts about continuing to transition when i was pursuing top surgery. i really, truly, wasn't sure. but by that point, it felt almost expected of me from the one side, and absolutely forbidden on the other. and like, i don't know that i would have gone through with it if it was just our weird homoerotic groupthink, i was sick of my tits bc like. they're tits. they suck to live with regardless of how hot they are. i was sick and tired of choosing between binding (over ribs that had already been fractured at least once due to improper binding) or being misgendered. and i was exhausted of my parents telling me, at age 21, that i didn't have the right to do what i wanted with my body.

so i got top surgery. and, like, i was happy. but i think i knew i fucked up as soon as i woke up from the surgery. the surgeon didn't leave me with any areolas whatsoever, which i didn't think going in was even a possibility. and maybe this is trivial, but that sparked something in me that i was terrified to admit, and couldn't, until much later on: i felt dysphoria about not having my tits.

but like, i was committed to the bit, you know? i'd gotten used to being a guy, and it fit well enough, like a second-hand sweater. so i just kinda rode the wave as far as it would take me. i did my shots (with absolutely no regularity because through all 3 years i was on testosterone stabbing myself in the leg really never got less hard and scary) and if i was being real i would admit to myself that i was probably more transmasc than a trans *man*.

and then my brother died! of aforesaid cancer that my parents tried real hard to pray away. (to be clear, they also got him the best medical treatment they possibly could, they aren't full on religious nutjobs.) and, quite frankly, i hadn't realized before then how integral to my identity my brother was. (again, homeschooled military kid with exactly one similarly-aged person who was actually around for more than a couple years of my life.) it kinda broke the shell identity that i'd been hiding behind. i realized i had a responsibility to myself to be myself, and i just wasn't a fuckin trans guy.

so i stopped taking t, and i started opening myself up to dressing how i used to love dressing, before i got all truscummy. and i felt myself come back into my body a bit, for the first time in god only knows how long.

fast forward 3 (ish) long, godawful, miserable years of therapy and grief and more grief, and i'm a pretty well-adjusted nonbinary person. i have a wife and a 9-5 job and my creative drive has been returning in spades. but i'm still dysphoric about my tits. i miss them. i can't say whether i made a mistake in getting top surgery, because my mental health was so completely shot back then that it really might have saved my life in some way or other, but it feels like one now. they were pretty, and soft, and sensitive. i got my nipples pierced last year and literally could not feel it happening. i only have feeling in some parts of my chest. i look fine, and i've accepted that this is the body i chose to live in. but sometimes i wish i wasn't so afraid to talk about this feeling.

some of y'all talk a big game about supporting detrans folk, but i don't see it. in mainstream lgbtq+ culture, is it absolutely taboo to talk about detransitioning, and y'all know it is. and there is literally no one else speaking up for us. a lot of detrans people become anti-trans specifically due to the reception their detransition was given by the community. it is so transparently hostile towards us because we got it wrong. and if people can make mistakes, that might mean (*gasp*) you might make a mistake?? and then it's a Real risk and not a fake one that conservatives made up to scare the parents of trans kids. and we just can't have that.

shouldn't we be telling kids that in your life, you're going to do things you risk regretting, and it's okay, because everyone has regrets? it's not some trans-specific thing. i regret my college boyfriend and not taking better care of my first car. i also regret having top surgery. it's not a dirty word—i'm just some guy, and everyone fucks up, sometimes in life-ruining ways. mine wasn't life-ruining, just kinda hard to process. but man, it sure woulda been easier if literally the only welcoming community for detrans people wasn't coincidentally Extremely anti-trans 🙃

and like........ i'm also.... Still Trans? i detransitioned to the gender i was before i identified as ftm: nonbinary. i stopped my medical transition, i reverted back to they/them pronouns. i detransitioned, but the idea that only cis people detransition is overwhelmingly binarist if you think about it for more than 2 seconds. (idk if that's a word but i'm making it one. you literally know what i mean). i can participate in trans dialogue, but there are areas of my history that i just have to avoid because i'll start getting dirty looks.

so yeah. all that to say. please start including us. loudly. please make a safe space for people who made mistakes, because the only one that exists right now is built to radicalize us against the people for whom those choices weren't mistakes.

#hello to my one mutual i lowkey vague in this post i love u dearly #u def know who u are lmaooo #anyway. yeah idk this was LONG y'all don't gotta read this shit

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

My Thoughts About If Earth Angels Had Ranks...And Some Other Stuff.

[Note: Reading This Is Optional...this will also talk a bit about Nonbinary, Transgender and Intersex as well. ]

yeah, not everyone has to agree with this but if Earth Angels did have some form of Ranks, it will be different depending on the half-human & half-angelic soul.

my ideas of the types of Ranks would be:

Earth Angel Princess

Earth Angel Prince

Earth Angel Mage

Earth Angel Knight

Earth Angel Healer

Earth Angel Oracle

Earth Angel Witch

Earth Angel Messenger

Earth Angel Duke

Earth Angel Overlord

Earth Angel Queen

Earth Angel King

and lastly, Earth Angel Newborn which is basically a newborn soul baby who is both physically and mentally a baby and will grow like most children over time even growing to until they reach their mature adult forms.

but once the New Earth Angel that was once a newborn soul reaches as certain age, their rank will change.

I'm not 100% sure if there are boy Earth Angels, even some who are Nonbinary-Boys who go by He/They pronouns.

but it could be possible there are some Earth Angels who have have been born in biological male bodies, and may identify as male.

it could be rare for some Earth Angels who are Male or Female to born into the wrong body that doesn't match their true gender identity.

like for some who are Nonbinary, even if being Transgender is separate but what I'm trying to say is that some who do feel Nonbinary but at the same time feel like they were born into the wrong body and feel like well the pronouns that seem to fit them would be He/They or She/They, it depends on them either being a Nonbinary-Guy or Nonbinary-Gal.

there can be different types of Nonbinary, and while some can still feel a bit more connected to the biological body they were born with even if in a different way, some might not and some could not only be a guy trapped in a girl body or a girl trapped in a boy body, they might also turn out to be Nonbinary as well, but that might only be a few who feel like that.

maybe some will get what I'm trying to say and I hope there is no misunderstandings.

I still suspect I might be one of the Intersex types, because of stuff that happen in my childhood before I became a teenager and at some point later on when I started to have that whole time of the month...it had got dangerous for me at some point, and well what I read about one of the signs of that Intersex type I believe that I am.

it just seem to fit from some stuff I went through.

I don't want to fully say that I am Intersex because some people might disagree, but the info I read before makes me believe I might very well be.

Stevonnie from Steven Universe is Nonbinary and goes by They/Them, and they are Intersex as well.

there are different types of Intersex and yeah ya can still be Biologically Male or Female but it's different for some even those who turn out to be Nonbinary, and there are different types of Nonbinary, not just ones who go by just They/Them.

there isn't just one type of Intersex, and with how some doctors and parents are, it's a good thing some don't notice right away because them trying to "fix" it and not bothering to get it through their heads that might cause more damage and possibly a identity crisis if what they pick, turns out to be incorrect.

if I am right about being Intersex, then I was one of the lucky ones not to be notice as such by the doctors, plus I think my Mom would have sense not to let them try to "fix" me...

Hell Knows No Fury Than The Wrath Of A Mother...

I know that isn't how that goes, but it works in this case.

plus if I was able to, and if my second cat wasn't taken to the vet on time or if those at the vet did anything wrong while trying to help her...

I would so do a Omnigeddon on the 5th Heaven and 5th Ring of Hell, freezing and making them snow and no Masculine would be safe from my sorrow and rage...

yeah as weird as it sounds, the thoughts I had if anything went wrong with my second cat, I would start Omnigeddon.

I know it isn't really possible, the whole Omnigeddon thing.

and I still rather my second cat have a very long life and live for many years to come.

it had hurt what happen with my first cat, and it be nice if they were given to me when they were a kitten like my second cat.

I know that any fluffy baby I get, they will end up being weird. XD

I know I had some form of bond with my first cat, plus the second cat I have seems to be like a more deeper bond, and it be nice it turns out my second cat is the reborn self of my first cat.

but seriously, if anything were to happen to them, like if they had went too soon before it was truly their time...

and if it were possible, I would freeze and have it snow in the 5th Heaven and The 5th Ring Of Hell...

I'm pretty sure there were a few times I went all Feral Earth Angel, well before figuring out that I am one...

like it being a mix of protectiveness in there half the time, not sure how many others went through as type of Feral Earth Angel Mode.

like if you have a cousin or sibling who is being picked on and you end up getting really mad and are about to head over there, but are held back from doing so by others who are family.

and not everyone has to believe it or agree with me on it, but there could be a deep reason why most humans end up being born in the wrong body, like even if someone who was born in a male or female body end up figuring out their gender identity doesn't match with them being really a gal or guy.

but the reasons could have to do with the imbalance, there could be only a few things we are discovering about it.

I still think that Hell wasn't always "Hell" and the Evil and Corruption that formed there could very well be from some form of miasma that was left unchecked along with their being a dangerous amount of Toxic-Masculine Energy.

what we know as Hell, may have been a Quarantine sector of The Earth Queendom, being a part of The Earthly Mother's domain.

which once again, may have had to go through Quarantine so the dangerous imbalance did not spread.

in one of the books I have that is by Nicholas Pearson.

the book "Stones Of The Goddess: Crystals For The Divine Feminine"

mentions about the dethroning of The Goddess, and it could be linked to some percent of the patriarchy being corrupted.

as weird it might be, I think there could be a type of Crystal that could allow to heal and purify souls before they are meant to reborn once again on Earth.

like picture a pure white glowing crystal that is like the Paradox Prism from Sonic Prime.

like souls are meant to go into the crystal and then come out, healed from the trauma that they may have suffered through in their past life and they can either choose to stay in the afterlife or be reborn once again.

as weird as a thought it might be, like some kind of Crystal that is white and large that it could be way bigger than a adult, even one who could be 6 or 7 feet tall.

like such a Crystal being in a type of rocky room, ya know like the room is round but is made out of rocks, like orange and having type of lava around it like a size of a small lake or fountain...

but it once having green grass, with flowers and the lava use to having water that surrounds the said Crystal.

this is just a theory, but what I am describing could turn out to be real......I mean possibly.

it also could also be possible that some souls are born into their human bodies well, placed into their human bodies before being fully born, too soon before their soul has a chance to fully figure out what they identify as, either it be Male, Female or Nonbinary.

so it wouldn't just be one type of imbalance that could be the reason why some percent end up being born in the wrong bio-gender body that don't match their soul's identity.

it can be different for different people, and it could be possible some souls could be Transgender but it could have to do with them reforming that has to do with the consciousness manifestation of light that is their bodies changing to the body that matches who they truly are at their hearts.

so Transgender can be different in the afterlife and celestial realm, because it wouldn't have the same type of pills or surgery.

anyway, there could be some Neutral Souls who could not only have the right balance of Masculine and Feminine energies, but could also have the Nonbinary Energy in there.

it could be possible I have both Nonbinary and Feminine Energy, even if some of the Masculine energy is suppose to be in there as well, but like the Masculine part will always be a part of humans, not just the males.

anyway the idea about the whole Earth Angel Ranks don't have to be taken seriously, but I think the whole Earth Angel Princess thing is already a rank because of that whole heritage I got...

I'm weird, so of course that "Earth Angel Princess" is going to pop into my head...

also I know that being Nonbinary and Intersex is separate, I mean I know I'm Aroaceflux and Fictoromantic and it could be possible I may have been Demiromantic but I'm not 100% sure.

I know I had bad luck with guys, even if some of them were online boyfriends, and any guy in real life I showed a bit of feelings for never truly returned the feelings...it might be thanks to my wearing my gem bracelets that I'm free from that, I can still get crushes of course but I have no interest in trying to get a boyfriend at this moment in time.

even if I did, they would need to respect my space and not touch me when I don't want to be touched or try to talk me into making-out when I may not feel like it....if I am okay with hand holding fine, even playing video games or watching a show or movie together...

but they are not allowed to put their arm around me unless I'm okay with it....

and hugging me from behind when I am not expecting it is REALLY not okay, cause they will likely startle me like a deer...

one of my family did that, and I was so surprised and not in a good way....but they know not to do that again, and I guess they are trying to make sure to remember how I don't like being touched at times...

with all that, and the whole weird thing that goes on with that Modern Radio, which lucky only happens once in a while...

it just reminds me a bit of Alastor from Hazbin Hotel.

I doubt he ever got seizures that were caused by the energies of both people and a place during childhood, so that can be one of the few differences.

I did explain about the weird stuff that happens when I point my fingers at the Modern Radio we have and then take it away, like at times the single will be better or not so much depending on what it will be.

I think it only happens once in a while, so that is pretty good.

I love sweets but even I can have days when I want something else besides sweets. Strawberries are one of my favorites, but there can be some strawberries that don't taste very good because their not as sweet...and it can have to do with the less love that is put into them.

so if a strawberry doesn't taste very good, it is because it has less love than the strawberries that are given the full love and care when being grown.

I'm not sure if I have much to say about the whole Earth Angel Ranks, but it could still be possible some percent of Earth Angels can end up being Nonbinary, some can be Intersex and some can be Transgender.

I still don't know many other Nonbinary Earth Angels, and well maybe there could be some who are Nonbinary besides me.

anyway not everyone has to agree about the whole imbalance thing that could be the cause of some humans being born into the wrong bio-gender body that might not match with their gender identity.

even if I can talk about my thoughts on the possibility, don't mean I will force others to agree. if some did agree, it would have to be of their own choice and free will.

#do not reblog without permission #mature audiences only #not for kids #earth angel #talking about feelings #my thoughts #transgender #intersex #nonbinary #march 2024

[genderqueerdykes]

How do I come out to my parents? I know they’re supportive and stuff but it just makes me really nervous. I tried about three years ago but I wasn’t able to talk about it, so I’m effectively closeted to them again. I’m out to all of my friends and I don’t exactly hide it to most people, I just don’t know how to work up the courage to tell my parents my name and stuff.

okay, i feel you there. LMAO. i didn't truly for real tell my family until after i started T

i came out to my mom and sister kinda sorta after i went to an lgbt pride group and learned about what being transgender was... i was lucky enough at the time to find out about being genderqueer and neutrois and agender and identified with those terms at the time. i didn't use those terms but i came out to my mom and sister and said "im not a girl or a guy i'm just a person" and let me tell you that did not stick with them. it took until a few years later when i started T and said "hey i'm a trans guy" for it to click. now i still identify as a nonbinary person but. it took starting T for me to be able to really communicate that, it was just hard because the first time around they just didn't really. get it.

i've heard that some people will write a letter to one or both of their parents, writing a letter, email, or text can actually make it a lot easier to get your thoughts across, and soften the blow, at least for you. most of the time the other person will at least finish reading the letter/etc. which means you can articulate all of your thoughts without getting cut off, stammering, losing your train of thought, having an anxiety attack, etc. etc.

if you feel that won't work for you, i would suggest seeing if maybe you can bring someone as backup that knows, if anyone irl knows like a sibling or friend so that you feel like you're not totally alone and floundering. they don't have to say anything, but just be there for emotional support

other than that, all i can really suggest is try to find a day where you're feeling confident in yourself and you actually want to express that part of yourself. if you find yourself feeling really good about your identity and who you are and just wanting to talk about it, it's probably a good time to bring it up to them if they seem receptive to conversation that day. if you are already nervous or anxious feeling you're going to have a harder time

feel free to give advice if you have any, i came out to my family after i had moved away and physically could not see them in person to talk about it so i can't give too much advice. also i'm estranged from my family in a lot of ways so i'm not particularly great with family dynamic type stuff, but i always try my best if i can!! good luck, i hope it goes well for you. take care

#asks #answers #coming out

[coochiequeens]

Trans Cult: “By saying he identifies as woman now he’s mocking our struggles” Women: “That must feel insulting” 🙄

MUNCIE, Ind. (TND) — A GOP councilman in Indiana has announced that he now identifies as a woman of color and a lesbian, but critics say they believe he is just being insincere and mocking marginalized people by doing so.

Delaware County Councilman Ryan Webb announced on Facebook that he had "decided to come out and finally feel comfortable announcing my true authentic self."

“It is with great relief that I announce to everyone that I identify as a woman and not just any woman but as a woman of color as well. I guess this would make me gay/lesbian as well, since I am attracted to women.," Webb said.

“Whew, that felt good to finally get that out there and start living life as my true self. I’m excited to bring some diversity to the county council," Webb added, "Until today we didn’t have any females of color or LGBTQIAPC+++ on the council. I’m glad that now we do!"

Webb also included a "winky face" emoji in his Facebook announcement. Many of the replies to his post call Webb "pathetic" and "embarrassing" for his perceived mockery of transgender, nonbinary and other LGBT groups.

Delaware County's government website says Webb is a father of five and married to his wife Brandy. In his coming out announcement, Webb clarifies that everyone can continue calling him "Ryan" or "Councilman Webb" and that he will retain his preferred pronouns of "He/Him."

“However, this will in no way diminish my true identity as a woman of color," Webb claims in the post.

In a later edit of the same post, Webb adds that it had come to his attention that his new identity "more than likely" makes him "the very first lesbian woman of color in the history of Delaware County to ever serve on the Delaware county council." 

Webb added that he was "honored" to be the person to "shatter that glass ceiling." Webb also added the hashtag "#GirlPower" in his edit. Webb also edited his announcement from originally claiming his new identity aligned with that of a Black woman to the current reading, where he maintains calling himself a woman of color.

When local news station WISH-TV reached out to Webb asking if he would like to do an interview on his new identity, Webb reportedly declined an on-camera interview, but still provided a statement. 

The councilman told the news station that his family had been "receiving violent threats throughout the day from intolerant liberals who refuse to accept my decision to live my life however I choose," and that he didn't "really see how an interview will improve the situation."

“It is unfortunate, but a group called Indiana Progressives has decided to organize a hate and harassment campaign against me and my family by publishing my address and encouraging people to unlawfully congregate at my home," Webb told WISH-TV. "I have to look out for the safety of my family, including our 6 children. There are people with serious mental health issues encouraging people who are unwelcome to come to my home, so I think it’s best to politely decline your on-camera interview."

Webb reportedly added that he found it "unfortunate" he could not "simply be given the same space and respect to explore my identity that so many of those targeting me demand for themselves." Webb also told WISH-TV that while his "American Indian heritage is not up for debate," it remains "possible I may change my mind down the road."

“I hope that in the future those asking for tolerance and understanding are willing to give it in return and not just to those who they feel is worthy of it," Webb added. "Nobody has the authority to validate or invalidate any individual who chooses to identify a certain way."

Again, Webb's critics simply don't believe he is adopting a new identity, and is instead mocking transgender, nonbinary and other marginalized people with his public social media post.

The National Desk reached out to Webb for comment and clarification on his announcement. Webb said the following:

“Thanks for reaching out. I don’t believe I am compelled to offer anyone and proof of my sincerity or pass any perceived litmus test of questions in order to live my life however I choose. If they don’t want to accept my position of identifying however I choose then that is their issue, not mine. As of today I have yet to hear of any other individual who was pressured to “prove” their gender identity. How I identify is how I identify, it’s as simple as that and isn’t up for debate. I’m focused on my private life as well as my duties serving the people of Delaware County.”

#USA #indiana #transbian #trans racial #Ryan Webb

[missroserose]

hi, I saw you in that big post about the word genderqueer and you said you're basically cis but your other queer identity impacts your gender in a way that's hard to describe? can you elaborate on that?

So you're saying...you want me to describe something...that I've already termed "hard to describe?" No pressure or anything 😂🤣 but sure, I'll do my best. (And thanks for reblogging the post so I could go check it and remember what the heck I was talking about, haha.)

I was AFAB and, being born in the 80s, I didn't have any real language to question my gender much. I didn't know the term "bisexual" until I was in my teens, and I only rarely heard the term "transgender" outside of psych classes until I was well into my thirties, despite hanging out with a pretty queer crowd (stuff like genderqueer and nonbinary was barely on the cultural radar). So I always low-key figured, sure, I must be a girl, that's the social default and it doesn't cause me any distress to think of myself that way.

But even so—I never really strongly identified as a woman, per se? I remember listening to my mother sing folk songs and change all the pronouns, and wonder why—why should it matter if her gender didn't match the singer's? Similarly, while I didn't have a lot of interest in many "boy things", if I *was* interested in something I never felt like I "shouldn't" do itbecause of my gender, and (luckily) I was only rarely stopped. (I got some odd looks, but social cues were never my strong point as a kid.) Even before all the transphobic bathroom drama, if there was an empty bathroom, I'd just use it—I didn't see why the presence of a urinal should scare me off of using a perfectly good toilet, and there wasn't anyone else around to be made uncomfortable (though I occasionally got more weird looks coming out).

After I hit puberty and started looking at labels and figuring out how I wanted to define myself, I always sort of assumed this attitude was linked to being bisexual. After all, the primary definition of straightness or gayness was defined by attraction to the opposite or same gender, so I supposed it made sense that, if another person's gender wasn't a factor in my attraction to them, it probably didn't much matter what gender I was, either.

Much later on, when I learned guitar and started performing, I made the intentional choice to sing any given song with whatever pronouns I felt fit it best, and that felt right in a way I couldn't quite explain. And (not to get too TMI) a significant percentage of my sexual fantasies also involve different equipment than what I was born with. I don't think that makes me trans, necessarily—like I said, I don't experience dysphoria and I don't mind being a woman. But I've often thought it'd be neat to experience life as a man, and even better if there was some way (a la @neil-gaiman's story Changes) to seamlessly switch back and forth.

Since then, I think my favorite term that I've heard (given to me by one of my pole dance teachers) has been "gender agnostic". Sure, I believe gender exists, and it's clearly important to some people! ...but for me, enh. Maybe at some point it'll matter more.

Does that help?

#gender fuckery #my gender #about me

[g0ldgauntlet]

Let's discuss the aftermath!

I wanted to make a follow-up to this post just to express how grateful I am for so many people going out of their way to support me. The reception was a tad bit overwhelming for me, I'll admit, but in the end I was extremely happy to see so many positive responses and shares!

I was initially a bit nervous to blaze that post, as I was aware of differing opinions on artists who use Tumblr Blaze to promote their art and commissions, especially if they're in need of assistance. I felt like I was taking a gamble, and that it was like a coin flip - This was either going to go really well, or really poorly and I'd get a lot of hate sent my way. However, given my situation, I felt like the risk was worth taking anyway.

Fortunately for me, I received mostly overwhelming support and well wishes, so thank you all for the help!

Over time, though, I did notice that I had received a few replies, and I chose to respond to the ones that I felt were most worth noting/contributed to starting a conversation (the other ones were either blatantly insulting me or complaining about posts like mine being blazed in the first place).

That is simply not true, as you can see below from the time that I took this screenshot:

I made a conscious decision to add that onto my post, and I'm sticking with it. It adds context to my situation that clearly enough people could make inferences towards, given the hardships that each respective group who identifies as such things deals with. I'm not the first person on Tumblr to include that either, and the other people who did received support all the same. So, I made my choice.

If you personally don't care (which, no offense, I'm certain that you don't because I don't believe that you sent that to me with good intentions), you either could have just said that instead or simply moved on.

Thank you for the suggestion! Fortunately, I have considered this several times in the past already and was job searching even before my commissions post was blazed. Even after blazing it, I am still searching for a job.

My post was made because of the fact that getting a job (a well-paying one too, mind you) is, unfortunately, not as easy as I wish it was. I was looking for ways to gain more money as soon as possible to speed up the process of moving out and helping my mom with paying for expenses. However, I haven't given up on the search just yet! I know that I'll get there eventually.

This section is going to be longer, but to this, I have to say:

Absolutely not.

Most people wouldn't know this, but out of those three lgbtq-related things that I listed, being biromantic was actually the last thing that I realized about myself.

Being asexual (specifically, demisexual) was the first thing that I realized, and it will forever have an emotionally positive impact on my life because it explained so much about myself with just one label.

Being nonbinary (specifically, a demigirl) was the second thing that I realized, and it made it easier to explain how I felt about my gender identity: Sometimes I feel more like a woman (and I'm cool with feminine terms/being called one), and other times I feel like I don't fit in that sort of realm and like being seen/referred to in a more neutral sense.

Being biromantic came last because, for me personally, I was very unsure if this was something that I "deserved" to call myself. I knew I liked boys from the start but I always had a complicated relationship with how I felt about girls, and it wasn't until many years later that I finally came to terms with that aspect of myself. Even when I started to identify as ace and nonbinary, I was still unsure about whether or not I was straight (I guess you could say that I was bicurious/questioning). It wasn't that long ago that it finally hit me and I became more comfortable with identifying as bi. To this day, I'm still exploring that aspect of myself.

Even though the realization of being bi came last, it's not any less important to me than the other parts of myself are, and I listed them all for a reason. As I stated before, it adds context to my situation because of the hardships that each person who identifies as such faces. You seem to at least recognize that as far as being bi goes (and in my case, especially for bi women/femmes and how much danger they're put in when they're not closeted), but fighting for the right to be nonbinary is just as important, given that it's literally under the trans umbrella. Trans people of any identifier matter too, dude.

Also, considering that ace discourse is still very much a thing that I had the misfortune of seeing and being subjected to, as well as ace people also being documented as having been subjected to discrimination/put in danger at the hands of other people who think they need to be "fixed," it very much matters a lot.

And finally, I can get to my last point for this section:

I can't "dump" being black.

I saved this for last because it felt like the most obvious point to me - From the moment I was born until the day I die, I will always be a black femme, and everyone around me will see me as a black woman because I cannot hide the way that I look. Ever since I was a kid, it had shaped my life and the way that other people perceive me. Things were rough because of that, and things are still rough now.

I can imagine that perhaps the reason why other people pitched in to help me is because they recognized that being black, femme, and queer leads to a lot of rough circumstances throughout one's life, and my aforementioned dangerous environment in my blazed post contributed to that because, unfortunately, I've come to learn and experience that my family is full of bigots who especially neglect and tear down women. I don't think I had to say that outright in the blazed post to get my point across, and it looks like other people got the message.

You may think it's nonsense, but each and every part of my identity is important to me as an individual. If someone felt deterred from my post because I added that descriptor for myself, then that's their decision. I wasn't gonna hide that just to please another person - I'm happy with this being who I am and I wanted others to understand the seriousness of the situation.

Now, this next reply below I think was hidden from me by Tumblr because I didn't see it until a friend of mine sent me a screenshot:

My response to this is basically summed up through this post and its replies but I'll elaborate anyway.

Making an investment to advertise myself does not mean I'm suddenly hoarding a load of secret cash somewhere. If you want to insinuate that, then you must think that of every other artist on this platform who chose to blaze their posts in hopes of promoting themselves, which is disingenuous to assume.

I set a certain amount of cash aside to blaze that post (I didn't even spend it on the largest option, mind you) because I was also hoping that I could make up for the money I spent to blaze it in the first place, and you know what? It was worth it! All of the funds I received from people who were kind enough to donate or commission me more than made up for how much I paid for Blaze, so I have no regrets over what I've done.

That aside, I'm all for artists blazing their commission posts if they have enough funds to afford doing so. We should promote and support artists, because it's not like it's uncommon knowledge that social media platforms screw us over more often than not, and that artists have a hard time getting paid in the first place. Heck, I've even talked about Twitter suspending me randomly and not getting any response to my appeal - Tumblr Blaze was quite literally my most available option to attempt obtaining visibility, aside from using Instagram. So, by all means, artists can blaze their posts all they want. I'll never complain about it.

Anyways, I saw this as I was reading through the reblogs on my post:

You're not being rude at all, no worries! Honestly, whenever someone says that my prices are too low, I feel flattered because it means that someone sees a lot of worth in my art to the point that they believe that I should be getting paid more than what I normally charge.

I did make the chibi price that low specifically because I was hoping to make it more affordable, since I know that there are lots of people who don't have specific, large amounts of cash to spare. The way I saw it is that if someone could spare at least 1 dollar, or however much money they could afford to send my way, then that would quickly stack up as more people sent me funds through Ko-Fi. However, I'll consider raising those prices in the future when I get things settled irl!

All in all, I must once again say thank you to everyone who's been helping me! I'll be forever grateful for the support sent my way (and I know my mom is just as grateful too), and I hope that other artists can receive the same support that I was given!

#gold's rambles #artists on tumblr #artistsupport #digital artists #art community #artblr #tumblr blaze #blog post #personal blog #lgbtq #queer #transgender #nonbinary #demigirl #bisexual #biromantic #asexual #demisexual #black artist #drawing while black #censored most of the usernames so hopefully the more negative responses don't get any traction outside of this post #and also because i don't want to run the risk of anyone getting harrassed #if anyone does recognize the censored users in the screenshots and doesn't agree with what they said then please just block them #left the reblog uncensored because the person in question let me know that they're cool with it being seen #but yeah this is the only time i'll be addressing this and then it's onto much more positive stuff from here #gold's art #adding the personalized art tag since i put more effort into the thank you image haha #finally figured out how to use my watercolor brushes properly

[testostronaut]

Change is the essential process of all existence.

— Spock

Hi everyone! ✨👽

My name is Jay and I am a transgender man living in the weird state of Indiana and gelatin. I've decided to document my transition here on Tumblr for my own progress and to help educate and support my trans siblings.

👽 About Me 👽

I am a biracial FtM transgender man. My pronouns are he/him/his.

My gender journey has been a long one. I'm probably not like a lot of other trans people you may know or hear about, I don't believe I was born in the wrong body. In 2020, I had decided it was time to start focusing on myself and I started ny weight loss journey. At the time I identified loosely as a girl, but later, with the help of my nonbinary friend, found that Genderfluid fit me best.

I worked on my body, my diet, and my mental health during that time. With weight loss, I learned that you have to accept your body's changes and progress. You might think losing weight is a line that goes straight down from fat to skinny, but I found that wasn't the case. My weight had fluctuated up and down, peaking and plateauing, jagged until I reached my goal.

To prevent myself from mental anguish and developing food issues, I stared myself down naked in the mirror. I said to my body that we don't have to be best friends, but I accept you no matter what. I accept you, because you will change, and I will celebrate every change along the way. I had also made the conscious effort not to let myself spiral for having a snack or eating high calorie foods sometimes.

I had hated my body until that moment. I already have depression, I didn't need to keep ruminating on how much my body didn't look or feel right. I accepted it with the condition that I would change it to make me happier. And I did, and I am.

I identified as genderfluid for a few years. I had a "girl season" (she/her pronouns and name) and a "boy season" (he/him pronound and Jay). Sometimes I had an enby season where I didn't identifiy as either and preferred they/them. It's no surprise to me now that boy season stuck a lot longer. I began to identify as a transgender man at 24.

Then I began the slow process of understanding what that meant for me. I always thought that everyone daydreamed of being a man. I thought every woman wanted to be able to walk around with their shirt off. More than anything I wanted my own full beard that went with my long curly hair so I could embody that rocker/stoner dude look. I have also always hated my DDD sized breasts and since I had grown them had always wanted a breast reduction. I detested the thought of giving birth since childhood, a miracle I am happy to forefit.

I didn't feel a strong dysphoria for my body. When I was a child and learning to use the computer, I wished I had a penis, and found an educational website that explained how sex reassignment surgery worked. I was determined from then on not to have a micropenis. I'd happy trade in my large chest for it's masc equivalent. I didn't think that this meant anything and assumed that it was normal for girls to feel this way. Who wouldn't want one?

Still, I struggled to perform femininity. Nothing I did wver felt right or comfortable. I hated being seen or called a girl. It wasn't that I didn't like women in general, I am bisexual and have had both cis male, female, and nb partners. It was that it didn't fit me and at the time I didn't know what that meant until I found my community. My home in my identity as a guy.

If you have any questions, stories, or if you're a terf who believes they have any authority to tell someone what they can and can't be, feel free to message me! I'm not going to leave any corner of my journey hidden. I want to be part of the discussion and education. I want to support my trans siblings in their endeavors, and I plan on being a huge nerd about it.

Live long and prosper. 🖖

#transgender #long post #ftm #about me