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auteurdelabre · 25 days

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SOMETHING TO FIGHT FOR - SHORT FIC: Spoiling Joel dad!Joel x f!Reader

RATING: 18+ tags: Loving Established Relationship, Hand job (M receiving), mentions of pregnancy (teasing), Massage, so much fluff, AU - everyone lives. Summary: Your fiance Joel takes care of everyone - you, Sarah, his brother. . . But who takes care of Joel? a/n: I think we all know that this Joel is the dreamiest (to me) and I think he deserves to be spoiled so . . . I wrote this. From the SOMETHING TO FIGHT FOR universe. But I believe it could be read as a stand-alone as you and Joel in an established relationshi.

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Joel loves taking care of you.

He's said it from the first admission of affection to you. That he just wanted to take care of you and love you. And you'd reveled in it. So unused to a love that came without strings, uncertain at first but slowly healing with every kept promise and gentle kiss.

But who takes care of Joel?

It's pathetically late in the game to think of this. Six months of officially dating, an engagement ring on your finger, living together, planning a wedding.

It hits you late one evening with Joel curled up beside you in bed. His steady breathing makes you feel calm and grounded. His leg is between yours, his arms holding you to his warm chest. You move a curl from his forehead before pressing a soft kiss there.

I love him so much.

He's exhausted these days, working overtime to save for the wedding. You think of the fatigue in his face over dinner tonight, the saddled brows as he sleeps now. You think of how he whispers promises of how he wants to take care of you, how he always ensures you come before he even thinks about his own pleasure, how his time is spent making sure you and Sarah are provided for.

How could you not have questioned this? You've been so fixated on your own joy that you never even considered that you should have been thinking about Joel's!

You feel impossibly guilty about it. Sure, you and Sarah love him endlessly. He's never lacking in that department. In the bedroom you never shy from expressing your desire for him, loving the way his face looks when he empties himself into you.

But when's the last time Joel was taken care of?

"Seem to remember you takin' good care of me last night," Joel murmurs in bed when you ask him the next evening, his arms around you. "And this mornin'."

"Not that kind of care," you say with an amused roll of your eyes. "I mean like... Feeling spoiled."

"I am spoiled," Joel insists all honesty in his voice and features.

"No you're not," you pout. "You're always spoiling everyone else. Me, Sarah, your brother, your employees. But no one takes care of you."

"Baby." His finger goes to your chin, tilting your face. "Hey, look at me."

You do and he sees the gloss of your eyes.

"You lovin' me is all I need," Joel tells you. "I'm serious. Every day you're here in my arms I'm spoiled. Sharing my life with me, loving Sarah. What more do I need?"

Well what the fuck could you say to that?

Annoyingly perfect fucking man.

///

Despite Joel being an almost annoyingly perfect fiancé, you plan a little something nonetheless. When he comes home that Friday night looking tired from a long day you’re there to greet him with your hair curled and your smile bright.

"Sarah is at Tommy's," you tell him pressing a kiss to his waiting lips. "And dinner will be here in about an hour."

"Mmm," Joel says, brows raised in surprised delight as he places his toolbox down by the front door. "Plannin' a little date night I see."

"Mhmmm," you say with a grin. "And before dinner gets here I ran you a bubble bath."

Joel gives an amused quirk of one brow."Not really a bath gu-"

"And as soon as you get in I'm bringing you up a nice cold beer."

Joel stares at you a lingering moment, his warm eyes searching your face for why all of this is happening.

"S'not my birthday."

"Nope."

"Not an... Anniversary?"

You smile at his nervous face. "Nope."

"It's not-"

"I just wanted to do something nice for you so go get your ass in the bath, Miller. I'm not telling you twice."

Joel presses a kiss to the end of your nose. "Yes ma'am."

You watch him take off up the stairs quickly, holding in an excited giggle as you watch him go.

You go upstairs a short while later, chilled Lonestar bottle in hand. You peek your head around the door, seeing Joel tilted back, eyes closed.

You've set the scene perfectly. Candles are lit all around the tub, a soft vanilla cashmere scent.

His broad shoulders peek up above the bubbles, his handsome face free of concern. And he’s all yours. This gorgeous man is going to be your husband. How did you get so lucky?

"Joel Miller you are one fine lookin' specimen," you say as you enter the bathroom. Joel's eyes crack open, his lips curling into a grin as you saunter over.

"Damn, what service," Joel rumbles, his beautifully tan body moving under the bubbles to sit up a bit.

"You deserve it," you say grazing a kiss atop his damp lips and handing him the beer by the neck. He takes it, his face mischievous. His free hand slowly drags up the back of your leg.

"I deserve anything else?"

"Down boy," you say with a smirk, stepping back out of his grip. "Dinner'll be here soon. Drink up, relax and then come down in comfy clothes."

"Alright then."

///

Joel arrives downstairs a half hour later smelling delicious, hair in damp curls. He follows his nose to the dining room where you've laid out a sumptuous feast from his favorite BBQ place in Austin.

"Hope you're hungry," you say motioning to the chair at the head of the table. There's another cold Lonestar waiting for him there, and a plate that you're now piling high with ribs, beans and potato salad.

"Wow," Joel says approaching the table with wide eyes. "You order the whole damn restaurant?"

"Just some of your favorites."

"I didn't know you liked this place," Joel says curiously as he comes to take his seat. "Thought you said you didn't like ribs?"

"Huh? No, I like 'em," you say passing him the cornbread and sitting in the chair to his left. "Plus they're your favorite, right?"

Joel nods, taking a bite. "Mmm, just as good as I remember."

You try to hold in a grimace as the sticky sweet meat slides down your throat. You take a long gulp from your wine glass.

"Mmm."

Joel eyes you a bit suspiciously as he eats, but the two of you soon ease into casual conversation about Sarah and work and the sanctuary that is well underway. The dinner is going so well that it shocks you when Joel leans back, fixing you with a serious look.

"You talk to Paul lately?"

You drop your fork to your plate in surprise. "Paul? As in my ex, Paul?"

"Yeah."

"Why the fuck would I have spoken to Paul?"

Joel shrugs, shoving a piece of cornbread into his mouth. "Thought I saw him in town today."

"Gross," you frown, the thought of Paul being in Austin makes you want to vomit. You never want to see that asshole for as long as you live.

Joel notes your response and seems to relax at that. The conversation drifts back to the every day. Like Tommy and the very pregnant Maria who have begun nesting. Every time you go over there she’s added a new throw pillow.

"I guess when Tommy and Maria have the baby we'll be the ones babysittin’."

"Guess so," you say amused at the thought. "You can handle the diapers. You have baby experience."

"Well you might wanna pract-" Joel immediately stops himself and you note the red that has started creeping up the back of his neck.

It's no secret that Joel wants more kids. Every time you've taken Sarah to the park the last month or so he's made note of the mom's with newborns in strollers.

"I miss that age. Not that I don't love Sarah at every age, but I miss that feeling of rockin' a baby in my arms."

You had just nodded in reply because you're nowhere near ready and Joel knows this. But that doesn't stop him from secretly hoping that you want kids with him one day.

"I might wanna what, Joel?" You tease.

"Nothin'" he mutters, taking a forkful of beans from his plate.

You want to tease him more but considering your aim is to spoil him you decide to lay off.

After dinner you pull him onto the couch, stating that you’ve decided on what to watch. Joel looks at the DVD case on the coffee table before looking at you with the remote in your hand grinning excitedly at him.

"You hate this movie."

"No I don't," you lie. "I love No Country for Old Men."

"Last time we saw it you said Chigurh gave you nightmares."

"I don't remember that," you say, urging him to sit under the blanket next to you. "Shhh, it's starting."

You sit back with Joel in the couch, snuggling up against him. He wraps an arm around your shoulders, drawing you close. Your head rests gently on his chest, your hand under your chin.

Your thankful Joel can't see your face (or your eyes when they close during most of the film). You close your eyes so often that soon you drift off. You wake up only as Joel kisses the top of your head.

"Movie's over baby," he murmurs. “Let’s get to bed.”

"Really?" You raise yourself up to sit straight, eyes cracked open to take in your blurry soundings. "Shit."

"S’okay," Joel says with a grin. "I enjoyed watchin’ my favorite movie with my girl in my arms. Let’s get you to bed.”

You feel him start to move off the couch and you give him an almost desperate clutch around the wrist, pulling him back.

“No wait!”

Joel turns in confusion at you, concern in his eyes. He watches as you lean over the sofa, pulling out the massage lotion you’d stored under there. Joel smirks at you wrestling with the plastic tab inside.

“What’s this, honey?”

“I noticed you were rubbing your neck a lot this week,” you mutter as you pull the tab off. “You were saying it was stiff. I wanted to give you a little massage.”

You squirt the lotion into your hand, rubbing them together to warm them and looking at Joel expectantly. “Take off your shirt.”

“Honey you don’t have-“

“Shirt, Miller.”

Joel gives a good-natured grin in your direction before he’s tugging off his t-shirt, tossing it onto the couch on the other side of him. You give an approving nod before shuffling over to him, perched behind him, hands flying to his neck.

“Just relax,” you soothe, sliding your hands over his tired muscles as he groans. You love knowing that you’re making him feel good.

You watch the crease between his brows lessen as your thumb works a particularly sore muscle in his neck. You don’t know how long you’ve been massaging, but Joel looks completely relaxed, his eyes cracking open to look at you over his shoulder.

“You up for massaging any other stiff spots?” Joel rumbles. You smirk, noting the tent in his sweatpants. You go to sit next to him, eyelids lowered.

“Of course,” you tease. “Just show me the problem area.”

He doesn’t hesitate lowering the band of his sweatpants so that his hardened cock is exposed. Just the sight of it has you feeling weak as you pour more oil into your palm. Joel shudders at the sound of your hands rubbing together. He watches your hand hover over the head, your mouth going to his ear.

“I’ve got you, baby.”

Joel groans, head tilting back as the slick of your oiled palm slides over him, coating his throbbing length. He looks so beautiful leaned back against the couch, mouth parted as he grunts. It takes everything in you not to be selfish and lower yourself onto him.

This is about Joel’s pleasure, not yours.

"Feels so good," he rumbles and the sound of it makes your stomach clench.

"Good," you soothe, your strokes increasing in speed.

His hands are in loose fists on either side of him on the couch, his hips thrusting into your hands. He looks so good like this, so needy and yet in control. His hips pump quicker and quicker as your hand slides along him, thumb sliding over the head, the friction everything he wants.

"Baby, I'm not gonna last long," Joel warns and his eyes crack open to see your face there, inches away looking at him with open desire.

"That's okay," you murmur, pressing a kiss to his temple. "Just want you to come, Joel. Wanna make you feel good."

Joel groans, his hand attempting to slide between your legs. "Lemme get you first."

"No," you say firmly, arching away from him, your hand still stroking rapidly. "I just want you to come."

You yelp when Joel's broad hand comes to land on your wrist, pulling your hand from his throbbing cock abruptly. He tucks himself back in his sweatpants with his free hand.

"Alright," Joel says, his voice tinged with authority. "What the fuck is going on? Did somethin’ happen?"

You stare up at him, confused by the sudden change in demeanor, the sudden cold to his eyes.

"Huh?"

"The bath, ribs that I know you don't like and a movie you can't stand?" Joel says this with a confused draw of his dark brows. "That's not countin’ the massage and what I feel like was rampin’ up to be the best hand job of my fuckin’ life."

"Then why did you stop it?"

"Because it's... I don't ..." Joel sighs, licking his lips nervously. "Why? What're you makin’ up for?"

Making up for?

"What are you talking about?"

Then you realize.

"Do you think I'm only doing this because I did something wrong?" You ask, eyes searching his. "Is that ... Is that what happened with Michelle?"

You rarely speak to Joel about Michelle because you don't feel like it's your place to. You didn't know him during that time and you didn't know her. But what you do know of Michelle sometimes makes you frustrated.

Joel shrugs before casting his dark eyes on the ground. Without saying it you realize that this is exactly the case.

"Just she'd be real overly nice if she did somethin' like scratched the truck or she overspent on the credit card," Joel mumbles. "So all this just got me scared. Thought maybe you saw Paul or somethin’ and this was your way of breakin' it to me."

Your heart cracks. “Joel that’s not how I do things. If I fuck up, I’ll tell you. Just like I hope you would tell me.”

“Of course.”

The two of you are quiet in the darkness, your wrist still in his grip, only loosened. His thumb traces the back of your hand.

“I just wanted to spoil you tonight,” you finally explain.

"It's too much. I don't deserve it."

"You're right, you deserve more."

Joel stares at you.

"Joel you take care of everyone," you say, trying to hold in the tears as Joel struggles to find the right words. "But who takes care of you?"

"I don't need to be taken care of."

"Why not?"

"Cuz I'm a guy-"

"Stop," you say raising your hand in front of his face. "Everyone needs to be taken care of. That's what love is about. I think you spent so long taking care of everyone else that you forgot what it’s like to have someone do it for you."

"But I like doin' it," Joel explains. "I love taking care of my girls. I love cooking for you and helping Sarah with her homework. I don't need more than what you already give, baby. I feel spoiled every fucking day."

"Joel I want our relationship to be to be a partnership."

"It is,” Joel insists. “You do so much for me and Sarah. I know how much you had to do to get here. I love knowing you're here beside me and that you're gonna be my wife. Don't you know how good you love me?"

"It never feels like enough."

"Baby," Joel murmurs. His fingers trace along your jaw. Now it’s your turn to blink back tears as you go through the ever expanding catalogue of things Joel has done for you before and during your courtship.

"I wanna take care of you, Miller," you tell him resolutely. "I wanna love you as much as I can for as long as I can. I want more of our life to be about you, Joel. Food you like to eat, movies you like to watch. Beers in baths."

"Head massages?" Joel says with a teasing smile.

"Full body if you want," you promise, kissing him firmly. "Not everything has to be about me and the kids."

"Kids?" Joel's brow rises. "Plural?"

"I-I uh I just mean if one day we decide to have a baby or whatever," you stammer with embarrassment. "I just still wanna make sure that-"

"You think about that?" Joel interrupts, his warm eyes searching your face. "Havin' a kid with me?"

"Of course I do," you say, cheeks flaming.

Joel grins widely, so widely his cheeks hurt. You know that he wants to tease you right now, to poke you about what you’ve just let slip. But his eyes grow misty and suddenly the smile is softer, his touch gentler.

"Can't believe I'm marrying a woman like you," Joel murmurs as he gazes at you. "Fucking beautiful and smart and kind and you wanna take care of me?"

"Yeah,” you nod, heart overflowing. “I do.”

"What if I wanna take care of you?" Joel murmurs, mouth finding yours. "What if I wanna take care of you right now in our bed?"

“Only if I can take care of you,” you breathe against his lips. “At least twice.”

“Deal.”

#joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller smut #dad joel miller #joel miller #something to fight for fic #something to fight for series #something to fight for #joel the last of us #joel miller x f!reader #joel x reader #joel tlou #dad!joel miller #sweet!joel

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bamsara · 4 months

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"youve already written that trope" yesss. i like it a lots. i will be writing it again. 1000 stories of the same trope over and over again for ten million years

#'enemies to lovers' BANGER #'one is bridal carrying the other while theyre injured' BANGER #'sacrifice of something important' BANGER #'drunken chapter that results in at least one fist fight' BANGER #theres more but only me and readers who have read all of my fics througout fandoms will help me find the patterns #sara shush

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queerdraws · 2 months

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Fanart for a snippet of my most favorite heartbreaking moment from swordsmans's fic bone-breaker ospreys mate for life (rated E)

#zolu #luzo #one piece #comic #i love this fic i love this fic AAUUGHH!!!!#this scene exploded my heart #okay so artist note luffy only has forehead bandages in SOME panels in his post-raid outfit #he doesn't at the post-raid party itself but he does on the hillside spectating the momo / marine guy fight #so i guess he just got a knock on the head at the party or something??#his cheek bandage also switches sides between when he's recovering post-raid and the party #u never realize how impressionistic oda is w detail stuff until u gotta place patterns on clothing n bandages on boys #anyways very happy w how page 4 turned out #luffys autism stare n big big smile

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gascreates · 1 month

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^^ infectious

#i now desire to read sickfics #this is an old sketch that i colored cuz i was dying to feel productive #depression and executive dysfunction are joining forces against me #i fight back by finishing something fast so i can feel accomplished for a bit #then maybe i can work on the bigger pieces/comics i want to get through #or maybe *gasp* work on a FIC #wouldn't that be crazy #atla #zuko

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stevebabey · 9 months

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totally didn’t expect the other part to do well at all but 😳 apparently i don’t know steddie fans. as such, have a part two <3 part one is here again, look out for the borrowed hunger games lines

“You’ve ruined your life, you know that, right?”

The kitchen had been basking in the lull of the quiet morning before Eddie had spoken up, breaking the silence. Steve blinks, realising he’s been zoned out staring at the swirling bubbles atop his mug of coffee and look up at Eddie across the table.

“Doing what you did.” Eddie continues. There’s this slight in his voice. Steve figures it’s not really aimed at him.

Chief Powell had agreed to not release the details of the case to the public for obvious reason. However, it went without saying that of the cops working the case, not all would be so free-thinking. There were plenty who deemed leaking the alibi and letting the town devour Steve’s reputation a more than fair consequence.

And, well, Eddie didn’t have any reputation left to tarnish or save.

Steve takes a sip of his coffee and lets the warm flavour coat his tastebuds as he tries to puts his thoughts in the right order.

He knows how Eddie sees this— sees it as this burden that he’s imposed on Steve’s life. That he had been able to accept it at first, the whispers of freedom tempting enough that he could be selfish enough to gasp them.

Then yesterday afternoon, Steve had come back from Bradley’s Big Buy with dried yolks splattered across the windscreen and regret howled through Eddie like a hurricane, fierce and wild. Realisation of what Steve had condemned himself to— no- what Eddie had condemned him to finally sunk in.

Steve can tell he’s been stewing on it all night. In the couple weeks he’s been here, staying in under the Harrington roof just down the hall from Steve, he’s surprised by how easily his brain has tacked on to Eddie’s habits. His little Eddie-ism’s. That’s what Steve calls them.

Like how Eddie’s nose will twitch if there’s something on his plate he doesn’t like, but he’s too polite to say it.

How he thumbs up and down the edge of a book when he’s reading, completely entranced. Doesn’t even notice his moving, twittering fingers.

How he’s always so much twitchier the morning after a sleep laced with terror after terror. It gives him away before Steve even see the bags under his eyes, the hollowness of his face.

Steve recognises that one from himself, from back when he’d gone through it all for the first time. The flinch is unshakeable when you’re convinced it’s all going to come back— that the world is going to tear itself up and spit out monsters you haven’t even dreamed of.

Today, Eddie isn’t twitchy like that. He’s tired, a sunken in face that comes from a bone-deep aching tiredness. He picks at his breakfast, bitterly avoiding the eggs on his plate.

And Steve can’t pretend to understand how Eddie grew up — can take his guesses but ultimately won’t get near the experiences he knows Eddie has lived through. Steve has only ever been on the other side. Stayed silent while someone else through snide comments and used the word fag like a jagged blade, to cut someone down.

So, he doesn’t know. Not even a year with Robin as his best friend and all her knowledge could’ve prepared Steve for the startling fear he’d felt when coming out of the store to the sight of a group of boys around his car, cartons of eggs in hand. One with a crowbar.

They would’ve smashed his windows if he had come out a minute later, he’s sure of it.

It had been like getting doused in icy water — the Letterman jackets on all of them, the sneers, still jeering taunts as they’d scattered across the parking lot. Steve had felt the bile rise in his throat as he got in the car and sat, staring at the steering wheel, his slimy fear melting and mixing with his anger.

Eddie’s point of view suddenly resounded within Steve in a way he hadn’t known before. Standing on tables, hollering about conformity, leaning in to every foul rumour about him— like a person drawing to full height, making himself as big as possible, to scare off a bear.

Steve gets that a little more now.

So, when Eddie tells him you’ve ruined your life he knows what he’s trying to tell him. Except, Steve doesn’t know how to say lightly that he’d gladly ruin his life to save Eddie’s. It’s too much — but Steve always is. Always loves in these big heavy ways that are too hard to handle.

So instead, he shrugs and says, “Consider it a trade.”

Eddie cocks his head, like a dog, just an inch.

“For following me into the lake and saving my life.”

Eddie scoffs and his head lolls back dramatically like what Steve’s said is ridiculous. “Jesus H Christ, dude, you saved yourself. I told you that I would’ve been too cowardly to come after you if Birdie and Wheeler hadn’t gone in first.”

He mutters the word cowardly with a hiss.

“Well then, a trade for drawing the bats away.”

“You mean the time I nearly became hamburger helper for the bats?”

“Christ, Eddie,” Steve scoffs. “I didn’t take you as someone who fished for compliments so hard.”

Eddie frowns, dropping his fork with a clatter on his plate. “I— what? I’m not- I don’t even—”

Steve cuts in. “You helped us and you saved my life, whether your horrible little brain can admit that or not. So,” He sits back in his chair with another little shrug and sips his coffee. “Equal trade.”

Eddie frowns, a crease forming between his brows. “No, not equal, Steve. You don’t get what you’ve done you— ugh, you just don’t—”

He huffs, cutting himself off, clearly unsure of how to voice his frustrations. He slumps back in his chair and eyes the eggs on his plate again with a glare this time.

Steve waits a moment and hopes he isn’t overstepping when he says, voice quiet, “I know, Eddie.”

Across the table, Eddie’s eyes raise to meet Steve’s and he doesn’t sound smug, he doesn’t sound angry, he just sounds defeated when he speaks.

“Do you?”

“Maybe not quite the extent of it until yesterday but, yes… I know.”

His words sink it and Eddie looks… affronted. His eyes get a little wide and a tremble finds his lips. Like the whole time he’d been convinced Steve wasn’t sure what he’d been getting into, that the reality hadn’t set in— that any moment he would rescind his alibi and throw Eddie to the cops and let them snap the cuffs back on him.

Steve hates that expression. Loathes that Eddie is so surprised that anyone would do this for him — something as important as keeping him alive and out of prison. Steve hates it because he knows it means that somewhere along the way, somebody had convinced Eddie that nobody would.

So, if he’s got to be the one to convince Eddie that someone will— that he will make the effort, will put his neck on the line because… well, isn’t that what Steve does best?

He’ll do it gladly.

Eddie picks up his fork and stabs his fork into the egg, the buttery yolk spilling onto the plate. Steve takes it as a truce, as him meeting him in the middle.

"So,” Steve swirls the mug in his hand and swills another sip back. Swallows it and takes a page out of Eddie’s book and goes the joke, leaning forward, forearms on the table. “If I’m gonna be your boyfriend for the foreseeable future I should probably know more stuff about you. Y’know, like, uh, the deep stuff.”

Eddie’s sunk back down in his seats but at Steve’s final sentence, he perks up. A smirking sort of grin crossing his face and Eddie twists a piece of his hair in front of his mouth. He hasn’t kept eating yet, too focused on the conversation.

"Uh-oh, the deep stuff.” He’s got that teasing tone in his voice. “Like what?"

"Like...” Steve scrambles to pull something from his brain. “Um, what’s your favourite colour?"

“Oh well, now you've stepped over the line."

Eddie’s sarcasm melts into a chuckle as Steve laughs, ducking his head instinctively. When he lifts his gaze, he’s relieved that Eddie looks a little lighter. Not much but a smidge of difference — Steve can see it if he squints. He’s sure it won’t be the last conversation they’ll have about this but for now, it’s settled.

Curiosity piques in Steve and he tries to sound casual when he says, “No, really, what is it?”

Eddie blinks and curls his hair around his finger once more, tugging it lightly. He seems to be considering his answer, eyes dropping to the sweater Steve’s donning.

“Yellow.” He finally says. “Not mustard but, y’know, lighter. Colour of the moon on Halloween or…”

“Cheese?” Steve suggests.

Eddie laughs. “Yeah, the right kind of cheese, sure. What about you? Favourite colour?”

Steve considers it — for the longest time, it had been red because Tommy had told him that red or blue were the coolest colours to like, way back in third grade. No one has asked him since then.

“Pink, actually.” Steve admits, hand coming up to brush across his nose, trying to hide behind the motion. He envies Eddie’s long curls suddenly. He feels the need to explain, more words rolling off his tongue. “Like, y’know, when the sun starts to set, like all dusky, it’s just… nice.”

Eddie’s staring at him peculiarly, his lips parted yet quirked up in this faint smile. If Steve didn’t know any better, he’d call it awe. Breaking his stare, Eddie chuckles again, finally properly picking his fork up to finish his meal.

“Steve Harrington.” He murmurs warmly, more to himself. His lips twitch with a smile. “You just keep surprising me.”

—

some people wanted more 🤲 uh get tagged idiot - normally i don’t do taglists but u were all so kind as to reply to the post & i didn’t get a chance to say thank u for ur lovely words! this is my thank u! have sum more!

@friendlyorange @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @lostinadmiration @life-love-musicaltheatre @oldlovershippiemusic5 @phoeniceae @catateme9 @lolawonsstuff @justagaypanda @pluto-pepsi @whoopstie @scenesofobx @justforthedead89 @musical-theatre-gay @theperksofbeingstjimmy @ikilledabuginthewall @imauselessartist @fridgebaby @lingeringmirth and uhhh @corrodedcoughin cos i still do a little squeal when u rb my tings even tho we’re mewchies :D

#ignoring the other characters rn lmao #i wrote it in a day. Sue me #something about like eddie being convinced that steve Doesn’t Understand #cos if he did he wouldn’t have done this!!#and steve being like i know eddie… i know #I Knew It And I Did It Anyways #steve’s puts-himself-on-the-line selflessness vs. eddie disbelieving he’s worth it #[street fighter voice] FIGHT!#uhhhhh does baby boy steve even know he likes men yet? probably notttt #¯\_(ツ)_/¯#ruby writes steddie #steve x eddie #steddie #steddie fic #steddie ficlet #steddie hurt/comfort

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crit20art · 9 months

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jonmartin vampire au!!

Summary: Struggling for income, Martin registers with an app that connects vampires with willing blood donors. His first client is not at all what he expected.

Rating: T (graphic violence warning)

Word count: 124k COMPLETE!!!

Tags: vampires & vampire bites, canon tma vampires, getting together, mutual pining, body horror, non-sexual intimacy, power dynamics, fluff/angst, hurt/comfort, trans martin, sex-averse jon, slow burn, non-sexual kink, humor

#trying to do something fun and funky while i fight burnout on diaa. sjfhskj #tma #the magnus archives #tma fic #jonmartin #jonmartin fic #jmart #jmart fic #vampires #vampire au #the magnus archives fic

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braimin · 17 days

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Currently thinking about A!Zoro and O!Sanji who go absolutely feral during their heats and ruts. Like Sanji has always felt vunerable during his heats so he's incredibly territorial and he refuses to leave his nest. No one can be near his nest during it; even if someone just walks by, they can hear him snarling through the door and if they don't get away quick enough he'll actually come out to fight. He's really violent in the days leading up to it too, he snaps and growls and it kind of weirds everyone out because Zoro is usually the one openly acting like an animal. Sanji also hoards food; the crew can tell he's about to go into a heat because he'll start eating less (he'd never let his pack be affected by his own issues so he'll make sure he's the one taking the cut so he can hide away more food for his heat).

Zoro is already feral in general, but during his ruts he likes being able to show off his strength and the best way for his to get all his excess energy out is for him to go out and run around and fight with people. He can and will leave the 'den' Chopper tries to make him stay in. All he does is wrestle Luffy or swim laps though so none of the crew members worry about him when he's running around in rut. When the crew first got together he wasn't allowed to do that though, because everyone was scared he'd lose control and he's literally one of the strongest on the crew. Having a huge alpha lost in a rut could be detrimental for them. But now they all know how he is and that he has really good control of his instincts so they don't really care.

When Zoro and Sanji first decided to share Sanji's heat the crew does start to worry. They already take their fights too far sometimes, and a heat is such a fragile thing for Sanji. What's gonna happen when he feels backed into a corner or something? Or when Zoro feels like he needs a fight? Chopper tries to tell them it's a bad idea, but both of them are confident it'll be fine. And they're both adults so it's not like anyone can really stop them or tell them no. Chopper does set ground rules for them though. Franky sets up a room for them that's close to the main deck because Chopper told them they needed to be in a place where Sanji could be heard if he needed help. Which is so unfortunate for everyone else because yeah, it's good to make sure they can hear in case of an emergency, but that means they can also hear when Sanji screams about.. other things. But they all agree it's safest this way.

So Sanji's heat comes and on the first day they can hear Sanji yelling about every movement Zoro makes. He yells at him for moving pillows or for not 'feeding him right', there are even a few times where he yells about the way Zoro is breathing. It makes everyone's anxiety about the situation even worse. The second day Sanji doesn't yell as much. But there is a lot of banging, it sounds like they're fighting. At some point Zoro screams about a cheap shot and it becomes apparent that yeah, they're brawling down there. Which is fine. They have yet to take it too far, and it's sounds like they're having fun so it's whatever. Nami sort of hopes this all they do during this heat because she really does not want to hear anything else. By the evening everyone has relaxed because those two haven't freaked out or tried to kill each other. It's absolutely silent for a good few hours and the crew figures they must've tired themselves out and fell asleep.

Until they hear Sanji let out a bloodcurdling scream.

The whole deck goes still except for Luffy who stands up and is immediately making his way to their room. He doesn't get passed the stairs before it changes. It fizzles into a crude laugh, and then it's paired with a laugh from Zoro as well. Sanji talks through his giggles, saying something about winning again and Zoro's voice is much quieter complaining that it's cheating for Sanji to act likes he's hurt. the rest of the crew sags in relief above them. Chopper fully intends to chew Sanji out for that, but he's fairly certain the they were right, spending Sanji's heat together would turn out fine.

#zosan #sanji #zoro #omegaverse #o!sanji #a!zoro #i just think that these boys are dumb and rowdy #they definitely fight and go feral during their heats and ruts #both come out bloody and bruised #franky has to make them a room with padded walls and shit and the cups and plates they use have to be wood or something #or they'll break /everything/#also ya'll ever read those fics about chases?#i think those are.. interesting #in a good way

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meeks-just-wants-to-scroll · 2 days

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The Twin Boys; One in Black, One in White

#meek’s art #meek’s headcanons #micah bell #amos bell #Bells family #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #Rdr2 #My hc for Amos mostly come from Amras’s headcanons #Wip lore so bare with me #Amos wasn’t inherently a better person than Micah #amos was just more capable of change #And lucked out on not being the person to carry the family’s legacy #Amos got a working girl pregnant and sort of had to hide it from their dad #This could be a fan fic idea i swear #Amos was around the working girl to make sure she didn’t peep about the secret #She saw something in him. I guess Amos too saw something in her beside his soon-to-be child #She ended up getting him out of his abusive home life. He got her out of a life of working on the street corner #They are a bit like romantic run away lovers except they ran away before they truly fell in love #I really would love to write about Amos more #I wanna give his wife a name and apperance too #Amos is still working through being an not-good person even while dating his wife #Amos and Micah are of the same blood. One could fight his demons. The other succumbed.

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mikakuna · 1 month

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the way people care more about jason fighting tim than like any other rogue fighting tim during his robin run is...!

"they're brothers! jason is so horrible to attack his little brother."

aside from the obvious twinkification of tim, stop pushing the family narrative on two people who did not see each other as siblings at that moment.

#and also stop seeing tim as a 5 year old #jason fought him to prove a point #sometimes i wish he really did some serious damage to tim just so you guys would have something reasonable to complain about #gosh a 16-17yr old crime fighter who fights people like bane for a living definitely has trauma from a guy two years older than him #fighting him #yes jason todd the kid who was murdered for being robin would definitely go out and kill the next kid who is robin #because yessss his whole point is that he's jealous of the next robin and therefore needs to harm him worse than the joker harmed jason #like please i'm so tired of this discourse #why the fuck would jason- the child murder victim who died as robin and bc of batman taking on a child soldier- want to kill the next robin #you'd think the narrative that jason tried to kill tim would only be in like some fics #but nope! it's in every goddamn batfam fic i've ever read to this day #not even exaggerating #anti tim drake #anti batfam #jason todd #red hood #batman #dc

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auteurdelabre · 5 months

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Something to Fight For (Epilogue) Dad!Joel x f!Reader

Something to Fight For: Epilogue

Warnings: Tooth-rottingly sweet epilogue.

Words: 5.3

a/n: I dragged y’all through angsty hell and I PROMISED I would deliver a happy ending and imo it don’t get much happier than this! Now, if you're sad this is over I understand. Nice thing is, I got vignettes happening featuring the characters in this story. Some of 'em sweet, some spicy, some funny. I can't say goodbye to these characters or this world quite yet. So I'm not gonna. And if you want, you're always welcome to request a scene you'd like to see in the comments! I love hearing what you want to see! And I got heaps of other writing, but if you like this sweeter sort I recommend: “Bravo! Take a Bow” and “Losing our Minds Together”

I thank every single one of you out there that read this story and left a review because it really feels like we built a community here in the comment section. I'm gonna miss seein' y'all here. Hopefully you stick around while I keep writing, but if not I am so glad we could share this online moment together. Thank you for making this fanfic author a happy gal. I'm gettin' choked up here so I'll stop and we can get on to seeing our sweet idiots in love.

Oh and please review, reblog, etc cuz it makes me smile.

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You walk into life on Rancher Street as naturally as if you've always been a fixture there. You think this is borne from a routine the three of you slipped into without thinking.

Mornings are coffee and cereal (Joel's banana pancakes on the weekends), then it's getting ready, brushing Sarah's hair, packing leftovers into cartoon lunch bags (for Sarah) and brown paper bags (for you and Joel).

You're dropped off first; your work is on the way to the school. Its kisses for both of their sweet smiling faces and then you're thrust into the world of animal rescue. Joel drives Sarah to school next, holding her hand until they reach her classroom where he kisses her forehead and tells her to "learn lots" before handing her off to her new first grade teacher.

He drives to Tommy at whatever site they're working at. The days are long, but punctuated with texts from you. Most are funny, some sweet. Occasionally Joel tries to write back but when he really wants to interact with you he just excuses himself and calls you. Hearing your voice always makes him smile in that dreamy, crooked way that has Tommy giving him shit the rest of the day.

At five promptly Joel returns to pick you up with Sarah buckled in her car seat smiling up at you. His heart jumps every time you come through the door, eyes bright and smiling as you jog over. He holds back the urge to kiss you senseless, restraining you both to a quick peck and then drives his girls home.

Dinner is done by Joel unless you've offered (which you rarely do because cooking is a drag). Instead you help Sarah set the table and the meal is spent listening to Sarah talk about her day and the animals that you’ve helped to rescue.

After dinner Sarah goes to play with her toys or watch a DVD while you tidy up. Joel sits with his coffee in his favorite green mug at the counter, eyes on you and chatting as you do the dishes. He always tries to help at first but you always remind him that he did the cooking and that you want to keep things fair.

This is when you both talk about everything and anything. Work, movies you want to see, plans for the weekend, philosophical questions (you've both decided that you'd rather fight one horse sized duck versus a thousand duck sized horses, for example). Joel is hard to get information out of. He isn't used to talking about himself, but you urge him to do so. He thinks his job is boring but you're fascinated by controlling clients and his keen mind when problem solving an issue at a job site.

Sometimes Sarah turns the volume of the TV up really high during these times and Joel has to yell over the noise at her to turn it down, smiling and shaking his head. It's one of your favorite parts about being here. There's always noise in the background, either a television or laughter. Your home had been so quiet, so empty, you'd just never realized

The other favorite part is how Joel always finds ways to touch you. Subtle things like a hand trailing over your lower back as you wash the dishes, nestling his shoulder against yours as you watch television together, laughing and hip checking you gently as he passes you in the hallway.

The only thing not perfect (at least for Joel) is the odd evening when you leave to go back to Maria's basement suite. He doesn't call the old suite your home because as far as he's concerned this is your home.

His stomach always drops when he sees you've gathered your purse in your hands, ready to leave. Joel usually walks you to your car, but some nights he stops you both at the front door, bringing you into his arms and kissing you deeply.

"I should go Joel," you tell him as he holds you, his mouth moving from your lips to your jaw, kissing that spot behind your ear that has you whimpering and your legs buckling. "Still have stuff there."

"Please stay," Joel murmurs against your mouth, hands wrapped around your waist as he presses into you against the wall. "Just a little longer."

Sometimes (often) this works. Your resolve breaks under his sweet mouth and hands and on these nights you wrap your legs around his waist and allow him to carry you back to the bedroom.

These nights he spends hours making love to you until you're too exhausted to leave. These nights Joel likes best because you linger in his arms and in his bed until the morning, the scent of your perfume on his pillow and sheets until you return that evening.

"Love having you here," Joel sleepily murmurs into your hair, kissing you awake one morning. "When are you just gonna move in?"

Still half asleep in his bed you stretch, snuggling up against him and sighing into the crook of his neck. "Whenever you want, baby."

Joel wants you there all the time. He wants Sarah to know that you're there; he doesn't want to hide you. But you're tentative, nervous that this all feels too good too fast. You ask that Sarah not know that you're spending the night, not just yet. She knows that you’re daddy’s girlfriend, but that’s all you want her to know right now.

You pretend to arrive in the mornings, making a show of ringing the doorbell and smirking as Joel welcomes you in, his eyes amused.

Despite the occasional seduction, Joel understands and he lets you go at your own pace. He agrees to what makes you feel comfortable.

But he loves when you arrive with a new cardboard box of your stuff from Maria's. He sees the blush across your cheek as he excitedly takes it from you, asking where this one will go. Most of its clothes and those boxes are promptly brought to the bedroom and unpacked into the closet. Seeing your blouses hung next to his button ups makes him feel good.

Week by week more of your things are brought over until one day there's nothing left for you at Maria's except for your bed, dresser and sofa. You tell him as much over a late night snack of chocolate pudding after Sarah has been put to bed.

"Pretty much everything I need is here."

Joel makes note of this, his heart hammering in his chest as he reaches into one of the drawers and pulls out the key he got cut.

“You’ll need this, then.”

He slides it across the counter with his forefinger, his eyes not leaving your face as he does. He sees the surprise there, the widening of your eyes.

"You have a lot of keys to your house just lying around?" You joke, feeling your heart race.

"Nah, got this one cut the day after the wedding," Joel murmurs. "Thought you'd need it sooner or later."

He loves seeing you blush, especially when you do that shy smile of yours.

When you look uncertain later that night in bed next to him, fingers twisting together anxiously Joel notices, lowering his book to glance at you.

"What's wrong?"

"Are you really okay with me moving in here?" You ask with a furrowed brow. "It's not too soon?"

Joel's mouth over yours is all the answer you need. But he's so delighted by your potential move in that he'd already launched into an outline of what to do with your furniture.

"We could sell your sofa and bed. I know a guy who needs a sofa. Only 'cuz my stuff is bigger and already here, but I don't want you feelin' like this isn't your house too so maybe we should-"

Kissing is the second best way to stop Joel Miller from rambling. The first is climbing on top of him and urging him inside of you, languidly bringing you both to orgasm.

You do both just to be safe.

The things left at Paul's had been clothing and a few personal items. You considered leaving it, but decide in the end that you shouldn't have to.

Your small pile of cardboard boxes are left outside his old apartment. He's sure not to be in said apartment when Joel goes with you to retrieve them.

You'd ridden over in Joel's truck, the day punctuated by an unexpected silence with Joel's protective hand over your knee. He'd loaded the boxes alongside you, his face tight. With every box retrieved from Paul's place Joel grew more and more miserable.

He hadn't responded to your gentle teasing as you both worked, had turned down your idea of going out for lunch, and had been all over a grumpy bastard.

When you'd loaded everything and were driving home Joel's hand had flown back to your knee, grip just as tight as before. When you finally questioned him about his bizarre behavior his dark eyes had been hard.

"The boxes and Paul," Joel winces, eyes fixed on the road. "Just reminded me how close I was to losin' you."

You make him pull over right then and there so you can crawl into his lap and kiss him senseless. He wraps his arms around you, pulling you so tightly to him you feel breathless.

"You'll never lose me, Joel," you whisper against his neck. "Never."

When you make love that evening your fingers linger on his cheeks as you stare into his eyes and the words you whisper as he fills you are of the love you have for him, the longing for this life you held for so long within you.

As you both begin to drift off, tangled together under the sheets you press a kiss to that patch in his beard that doesn't quite grow.

"I'm not going anywhere, Joel. I'm done running."

///

You miss having an office space like your studio had. A little area for just you to organize your thoughts and work. But it's a small price to pay because you like existing on Rancher Street. You've enjoyed every day of the last three months.

It feels like home when you're there and not because of the structure but the two figures inside. Home isn't a place, you've come to realize, its people. Joel and Sarah.

Evening rituals are the same as when you babysat. Picking out books as Sarah slips into bed smelling of toothpaste and the hair cream Joel massages into the curls under her favorite purple bonnet. You smiling at her while she snuggles down under the covers, propping toad up next to her so he can see the pictures in the books.

"Okay we're ready."

The only difference is that Joel is there too, bending down to kiss his daughter's cheek and murmuring a low "G'night babygirl. Sweet dreams. Love you."

She gives him a sweet 'I love you' back, kissing his lightly bearded cheek. If Joel takes too long to leave, getting distracted by the sight of you gathering books or just wanting to linger, Sarah is prone to shooting him a silent look that communicates: okay, I love you dad, now please leave.

He always does. Because reading before bed is your special time, just the two of you. Joel used to do it on the nights you weren't there, but now you are there every single night his services are no longer necessary.

Joel's qualities are better served in the kitchen, you and Sarah decide as you watch her drawing on the sidewalk with the chalk you've just bought.

"Daddy's a better cook than you."

She says it thoughtfully and without malice as she draws a lopsided flower.

"Yes," you agree with a nod, making a star pattern nearby. "Much better. I think he puts love in his food. I just use salt."

But the ever empathetic Sarah is quick to point out your many virtues as well. The main one of course being your stellar reading ability and your stories in general.

So every single night Joel stands there outside Sarah's room, arms folded and shoulder tilted against the hallway wall, his cheek facing the half closed door of his daughter.

There he listens to the two of you giggling or you reading the book Sarah has picked from your pile (Sarah's right, you're very good at doing the voices), the gentle murmurs of 'I love you" thrown back between you two and those sounds wind around Joel's heart in a way he never knew just sounds could.

He's so fucking happy.

And when you finally creep out, quietly closing the door behind you and shooting him a pleased smile, Joel is always there to grip you by the hand and drag you to your shared bedroom down the hall.

Rarely do the two of you make it to the bed with all your clothes on because Joel has many virtues outside of the kitchen as well.

///

Joel watches you give a frustrated sigh, frowning at the laptop on the kitchen table before putting your face in your hands.

"Everything okay?"

"Just this fu- darn sanctuary project," you self correct, remembering a listening Sarah sitting across from you.

Sarah has a piece of paper she has drawn to look like a laptop and she pretends to clack away on it when you do on yours. Joel sits next to you, his knee brushing yours as you complain.

"Alex's contact said she could get the supplies at cost and he was supposed to get back to me but he hasn't and now the landscaping guy is saying -" you pause, realizing Joel's eyes have taken on a dreamy, faraway look. “-And you're not even listening to me, are you Miller?"

He gives you a guilty look. "Nope."

You give a sharp laugh at his honesty, leaning over and shoving his shoulder with yours affectionately.

"Hey, I really wanna show you somethin'," Joel says with a hint of excitement in his dark brown eyes, a window into the boy he must have been. "C'mon. Both of you."

You follow him down the steps to the basement, to Tommy's old place, your hand wrapped around Sarah's. You both follow him towards the large door separating the areas, watching his broad shouldered walk, the excitement in his rapid footsteps.

At the door there he spins with a small anticipatory smile on his handsome face.

"I thought this would be a good place to have for an office," Joel explains shyly pointing to the door behind him.

You smile up at him, delighted that he thought of you needing one. He pushes open the door for you, his eyes on your face as he does.

Balloons.

Hundreds of colorful balloons take up almost the entire main room of the basement.

Sarah doesn't wait for you, she runs in headfirst giggling and shrieking, her arms open wide.

You walk into the basement in a daze, your eyes owlish as you take in this prism of color, feeling the balloons brush your skin, the awe-inspiring sensation of being surrounded in a rainbow. You laugh, it bursts from you.

You can see that the space beyond the balloons has been transformed into an office, complete with built in bookcases and a custom desk under the window. You trace a hand along the desk before being swept up in the color of the balloons and Sarah's contagious laughter.

Joel is standing there just outside the door, his eyes bright as he watches the two loves of his life laughing and tossing up the colorful balloons.

Sarah kicks at them with vigor, her head thrown back in laughter at the squeaks they emit when knocked about.

Joel looks to you, expecting the same behavior and pausing when he sees how you're now standing there looking at him with damp eyes. The balloons float between you, falling to block his eyes as you approach.

"Joel."

"Mmm?"

"Get in here," you order gently, your finger curling around his collar as you gently tug him in encouragement. You can't move him of course, but he grins widely, nodding and stepping into the color with you.

For a moment neither of you speaks. All you can see is Joel and the balloons that seem to surround you on all sides, the colors framing his beautiful face. You can hear Sarah's distant laughter.

Then Joel smiles in that sweet, open way of his. You look down when you feel his hand taking yours and see a diamond ring being slipped onto your fourth finger. You stare at it in amazement before your gaze meets his. In his deep brown eyes you see a future so beautiful you never could have imagined it. What you don’t know is that when Joel looks into your eyes he sees exactly the same.

"Will you ma-"

"Yes," you breathe without letting him finish, your hands coming to either side of his jaw. He pulls you into his arms grinning before his mouth is on yours, gentle and sweet. You know that your eyes are wet and you know that on your deathbed this will be one of those moments that comes to you, comforting you.

You pull back and look around at all the balloons, the color and you smile broadly through the tears.

"Couldn't wait for your birthday," Joel murmurs against your cheek. "Hope that's okay."

"Yeah," you say curling your arms around his neck. "It's okay."

You don't mind at all.

///

"Shit, did you feed the cat?"

"Daddy you said sh-"

"I know babygirl," Joel says rubbing the back of his neck as Sarah looks to him with a chastised look. "Was wrong of me. Daddy just doesn't want to find another hairball in his shoe. "

Jam, your orange tabby kitten is not really yours at all. Despite being brought home for you, Jam quickly decided that Sarah with her warm bed and shirts covered in food crumbs was a much better companion than you. You don't mind though, seeing how much Sarah loves the cat is enough for you.

"I fed him," you say giggling as the three of you make your way up the drive. The whole gang has been invited to Frank and Bill's for a Sunday lunch. You see them quite often despite living on Rancher Street full time.

They often encourage you to bring Sarah and you do without hesitation. She loves Bill and Frank just as much as you do. She loves painting with Uncle Frank and baking with Uncle Bill. She loves that their house smells like cinnamon in the winter and fresh flowers in the summer.

Despite living right next door, Maria and Tommy arrive late with cornbread and lemonade, but are given a reprieve when Maria shares that she took so long getting ready because "morning sickness makes it hard to feel cute."

Joel had hugged Tommy so tightly you were sure you heard bones cracking. You had just cried, throwing your arms around Maria, careful not to squeeze. Sarah asked to feel the baby and Maria told her it was a bit too early to feel much, but she still let her niece gently stroke her swelling belly.

"I think it's gonna be a boy," Maria told you sagely over lemonade at the table. "A mother knows."

You smile, thinking of a little mix of Maria and Tommy in the vision of a little baby boy. Your eyes sail over to Joel, watching as he chats with Jackson and Tommy. You wonder what it would be like if you had a kid. Who would it take after?

You’re distracted by this idea when Sarah and Bill bring out the dessert, followed by Frank with the coffee. The cupcakes are decorated to resemble beautiful flowers and you all wait as Sarah picks the perfect one for each of you. A daisy for Sarah, a lily each for Auntie Maria and Uncle Tommy, a purple rose for Daddy, a peony for Frank and a forget-me-not for Bill and finally Sarah smiles at the pink carnation she labored the longest over with Bill. Sarah immediately cites that this one belongs to you.

"That one," Sarah says pointing, watching as Bill pushes the plated cupcake in your direction. "Do you like that one, Mama?"

Joel's hand that's been absently rubbing along your spine stills when he hears that. His attention goes to your face, seeing the way your eyes have gotten wide. Mama.

You feel your breath catch in your chest as she calls you this, her tiny face turned up and smiling at you. You don't want to embarrass her, don't want to draw attention to the fact that she's called you Mama.

She did it so casually, so naturally that a part of you is worried she didn't even realize she'd done it. If you draw attention to it you're scared there's a chance that she'll take it back.

"I love it," you whisper, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "Thank you, bug."

You kiss her again, feeling tears prick your eyes when Joel's hand skates to the small of your back, squeezing softly. Maria and Tommy are wet-eyed, and share a soft smile before turning their attention to their cupcakes. Frank sniffles, pretending he’s just about to sneeze. You catch Bill’s eyes across the table and when you see them glossy and that’s what makes the tears spill over your lash line.

"Why are you crying?" Sarah asks, her head cocked to the side. She can’t understand why everyone suddenly got so quiet.

"I'm not," you insist. "Just allergies."

Sarah is satisfied or maybe just relieved with this answer and she and clamors onto the chair next to you, ready to dig into her own cupcake. She leans companionably against you, starting to tell Auntie Maria and Uncle Tommy about the class hamster.

You feel Joel's kiss on your temple and you turn to see his eyes damp like yours.

"Mama," you whisper to him. "I'm Mama."

////////

3 years later

Joel is at your side, whispering how strong you are, how beautiful, but all you want to do is punch him.

Hard.

"You did this to me!" You say through clenched teeth as a wave of painful cramping goes through you. Your head falls back onto the damp hospital pillow.

"If I recall it was a very mutual decision," Joel insists with a wry smile. His mouth goes to your ear and his voice drops to a deliciously low timbre only you can hear. "The words 'fuck me pregnant' were a direct quote by you, were they not?"

You don't answer him on that. Not just because he's right, but because a stab of pain is going through your pelvis that takes your breath away.

St. David's is a very fine hospital with very fine people but at this moment everything is not fucking fine. You feel like you've been split in half by a fucking axe.

"Doing so good, baby," Joel croons, wiping the damp hair from your forehead and temples as he watches the doctor and nurses at your feet. "Keep going, keep going."

For a delirious moment you think that it was Joel saying these exact words that got you pregnant in the first place and you let out a high pitched laugh as Joel looks to you in concern.

"Push," the doctor says, breaking into your foggy brain. And so you do. As you have been doing for the last three fucking hours.

You grit your teeth, feeling Joel's mouth on your temple whispering words of encouragement and you push. You push with everything you have and then...

There is a pause and then the loud braying sound of a newborn's cry. The doctor's voice behind the mask rings out.

"It's a girl!"

A sister for Sarah, just like she'd wanted.

A second daughter for you and Joel.

You look over to see Joel's dark eyes shimmering with tears and you feel you've never been so in love with him as you are in this moment. You burst into tears, your face wet as Joel kisses you.

"You're amazing," Joel whispers against your mouth. "Fucking amazing."

The nurse brings over a pink faced infant with a shock of dark brown hair. She is pink all over and her little face is scrunched up as she wails. You take her into your arms, marveling at how you and Joel made the little creature you're now holding. She's so warm and she smells so good.

You glance over at Joel, recalling all the nights spent with his hand curving over your belly, murmuring soft sweet things to your daughter as she grew there. You think of when you both sang together, your hand carding through his hair and his eyes on you. You remember how on the days she felt really jumpy, all it would take is Joel singing a few bars from a song and she would quiet right down.

Now Joel's finger goes to trace the slope of her tiny nose and you smile as she quiets down, grunting. Seems he has a soothing effect on her outside the womb as well.

"She's so fucking perfect."

"Hopefully she doesn't swear as much as her parents," Joel says as he presses his lips to your temple.

You giggle at that, pulling her back so you can see your daughter's sweet face. The wailing has subsided and she gives little grunts as she tries to open her eyes.

"Hi Ellie," you coo. "We're your parents."

/////

Four years after your first meeting, Joel Miller sits across from you in the very booth you had your disastrous blind date on. It's become a sort of tongue in cheek tradition, to have you all back to where it began.

Only this booth is far more crowded than it ever was then. A very pregnant Maria slides in next to you, looking every bit the beautiful goddess she always does. Tommy and their son slip into the opposite side beside Joel, saying their hellos.

"They're so cute," Maria coos as she watches Sarah give Ellie a toy to play with before going back to her puzzle book.

"Sarah loves being a big sister," you smile softly.

"Tell that to Jackson would you?" Maria says rolling her eyes at her eldest child who is obsessed with his game boy. "He seems to think that this new baby means the beginning of the end."

"He's been an only child for so long he doesn't want to share you," you insist. But you can't help but feel secretly lucky that your daughter's had an immediate connection.

Even when pregnant, Sarah had talked to the baby in your belly, she'd even helped pick out her sisters name. At this moment Sarah is curled up next to you on her seat, pencil in hand and her eyes focused on her latest obsession.

Toad has been replaced by puzzle books (though you still find him under her pillow most nights) and her new favorite color is green. She's wearing green head to toe tonight including the green barrettes in her hair. She's like a slender blade of grass with wild hair and big, hazel eyes.

And while much about Sarah has changed, she still smiles when you and her father kiss, she still wows you with knowledge beyond her years and she still plays with the ends of your hair when she's anxious or distracted. Oh and she still loves you to death.

You sling an arm around her, your eyes on the menu before traveling up to watch Joel across from you. He's looking at Ellie in her booster seat next to him, babbling incoherently as most toddlers do.

Ellie is a daddy's girl though and through, obsessed with Joel the minute she laid eyes on him. It's now to the point where if she starts crying most mornings you simply glance his way. He always gives a grumpy frown before you see the smile peeking through as he goes to retrieve her from her crib.

He's smiling broadly at her now, his finger tracing down her nose as she gurgles. Something he’s done since she was born. There's something about seeing Joel Miller, all broad shoulders and inherent masculinity, being so soft that makes you love him harder.

Sometimes when you're watching him play with your daughters or watching him cook you all dinner, you feel this overwhelming love for Joel that's almost incapacitating.

He seems to sense your gaze because his eyes travel over to you. He gives you a playful wink.

"You look great tonight," Joel says with eyes that linger on your décolletage.

"Thanks," you say taking an equally appreciative look at your husband. "You clean up pretty well yourself."

More than pretty well. Joel Miller is, as Frank had once told you, sex on legs, and you have to agree with the assessment. His linen shirt is rolled to the elbows, showing off his muscled forearms. His hair is brushed back from his face and he's wearing his glasses as he reads the menu. (Something he only does when desperate as you’d found out when living with him).

Joel wets his lower lip without thinking, his eyes drifting back down the front of your dress. Maria and Tommy are helping Jackson decide on what to order for dinner, distracted from your end of the table.

"You keep looking at me like that, Miller and we're gonna wind up with another kid," you murmur with a smirk, knowing Sarah's not paying attention.

"I'm not opposed to that," Joel says, his gaze heated.

"That's because you don't have to carry or pop them out," you reply with a good-natured roll of your eyes. "Just get to do the fun part."

Joel grins as you tilt over the table to fix the bow in Ellie's hair that your mother sent you. Ellie gurgles happily at you, smacking her tiny fists on the table. Joel takes this as an opportunity to not very covertly ogle your chest.

"Joel," you hiss, even though a smile is breaking out over your features. Joel tries to look innocently up at you, brows raised.

“Yeah baby?”

You want to be irritated, but he knows very well you love it.

"I don't know this one, Mama," Sarah says pointing to something on the page in her puzzle book. She's normally very independent so you know she must be really stuck. You glance over at the crossword clue.

"A six lettered spore producer," you read aloud and think for a moment. "Fungus?"

"That fits," Sarah enthuses, her pencil writing hurriedly.

"Speaking of which, I'll have the mushroom ravioli," you say as your server comes to take your order. Joel orders his chicken penne and Sarah's spaghetti and then his hand comes to fall on yours as the server takes the rest of the orders for the table.

His hand is heavy and warm, but that's nothing compared to the warmth of his eyes. It's the kind of look you associate with deep thinking, his "dreamy stare" as you've coined it.

"What are you thinking about, Miller?'

"Just that I never thought I'd be married to the same woman who screamed at me in the parking lot of this very restaurant."

You giggle behind your wineglass, watching Joel's eyes go soft.

"Or how happy I'd be."

He brings your hand up to his mouth, kissing gently. He holds you there, watching as you stare back at him with eyes so full of love you're shocked Cupid himself hasn't come to give you his job.

You begin to smirk when Joel's dark eyes drop to your chest and then dart back to your face.

"I was also thinking about how three is a very nice number. . ."

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