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altariaas · 3 years

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your face all made up (living on a screen)

Adrien knows, to some degree, that it’s the important things that are the most important to say out loud, but it would help to know that someone’s actually listening. It would also help if things would stop breaking every time he acknowledged his emotions, too.

i’ve taken a total of three steps into this fandom but sure, let’s skip to season 4 and fall face-first into the Angst™, as it goes. I just think Adrien should get a little raw powers of destruction sneaking out of control in his daily life. as a treat. Post-Rocketear so lots of spoilers etc.

Adrien walks home from the fight against Nino’s akuma with a raging headache, a developing case of massive anxiety, and a purpling bruise the size of a basketball on his shin.

The last one isn’t actually from the akuma. Those injuries got neatly miraculoused away, along with Nino’s heartbroken betrayal. No, the bruise is from Adrien’s incredibly stupid attempt to funnel his tornado of emotions into something concrete by kicking the front gate, only to completely miss and slam his shin into the solid steel rungs instead, sending him stumbling back in a pained fit of trying to think up creative curse words that won’t result in his father murdering him if he overhears.

Metaphorically, of course. Father’s not a murderer, except when it comes to the slow death of Adrien’s social life.

Though he really…can’t entirely blame that on Father, either.

And there comes the developing case of anxiety. Adrien swallows, a feeble attempt to banish the souring feeling in his stomach and the aching tightness in his chest. He wraps his arms around himself, staring up at the mansion and fighting the increasing urge to run. The inside of his cheek stings as he chews at it, already abused from how hard he’d bitten there earlier when Nino had started making…observations. Accusations. Wildly misdirected statements that definitely aren’t any insight to how Nino truly feels about what might be the truest version of Adrien’s slowly splintering self, if he’s going to be dramatic about it.

Overly passionate, Father’s voice echoes hollowly somewhere in the back of his head. Prone to fits of drama, just like his mother.

Spinning abruptly on his heel, Adrien beats a steady path away from the mansion gates and toward…somewhere. Somewhere that won’t make that developing case of anxiety worse, and where no one can witness his fits of drama.

The urge to send the front camera a rude gesture in farewell is violently stifled as Adrien keeps his arms wrapped tightly around himself, like the action will keep everything in neat and perfect and safe from view. He feels more than hears Plagg rustle curiously in his front pocket, but Adrien ignores the action, keeping his eyes fixed ahead.

Then the sharp reminder of how it felt when Ladybug ignored him in favor of Rena Rouge comes back and bites him solidly in the guilty part of his feelings, so Adrien pats his front pocket reassuringly.

“Just taking the long way home,” he murmurs.

Plagg’s eyes are calculating, almost greener than usual as they stare at him, and Adrien feels uncomfortably perceived. Not in the cold, bug-under-a-microscope way he feels sometimes when Father looks at him, but a hot kind of uncomfortable, the way he feels when someone looks right past the Adrien Agreste mask and sees—

What? What do they see? An awkward boy stumbling back against a wall because he never learned what his real self was supposed to look like? Hollow flirting and annoying with a capital a?

Fits of drama, Adrien reminds himself. He shouldn’t take it so close to heart. Not when Nino looked so devastated, so heartbroken. Not when Ladybug’s been giving him uncomfortably clear signs that Nino might’ve been right.

“If you say so, kid,” Plagg finally replies. “But I better get that camembert sooner than later.”

A half-smile tugs at Adrien’s mouth. “Sure, Plagg.”

At least Plagg still wants him around, masks and all. It’s a small comfort, but Adrien clings to it, his arms tightening around himself. Sure, things didn’t go…wonderfully, today, but it’s not all so bad. He got slammed into a van a couple of times, and maybe a couple of busted ribs, but that’s nothing, comparatively. And sure, Father’s finding more flaws in him to coldly evaluate than usual, and Nathalie’s growing paler and sicker by the day, and Ladybug’s either freezing him out bit by bit or starting to forget about him entirely and he isn’t sure which is worse, and his schedule is slipping further and further from manageable by the day and Nino dislikes a side of him so much it sent him straight into an akuma and—

“—kid, stop!”

Adrien’s thoughts cut off abruptly as his foot catches, his sense of balance going horizontal as he stumbles, and proceeds to nearly slam the rest of him face-first into the concrete. Plagg’s sharp warning echoes in his ears as he rights himself with a panicked yelp, hopping once while frantically hoping no one was around to see — whatever that was.

“Kid,” Plagg starts, but he doesn’t finish. He’s left the front pocket, his eyes bright green as he stares at him.

Adrien blinks, shaking the slight sense of vertigo off. “Sorry, sorry, I—”

Huh. What did he do? Rubbing the back of his head, Adrien glances at the street he stumbled over. He frowns.

The culprit is a jagged, snaking tear in the concrete, half a meter deep and the length of Adrien’s arm. He stares at the spiderwebbing cracks that branch out of it, fine grains of crushed concrete already scattering in the slight wind.

Weird, he thinks. He doesn’t remember fighting Nino this far down the street. Lucky Charm should’ve fixed that, even if he did.

“Adrien,” Plagg says, and there’s an uncharacteristically cautious edge in his voice. “What was that?”

Adrien cups a hand around Plagg, running a finger over his head in apology as he draws him out of view again. “Lost in thought, I guess,” he says, ducking his head. “Sorry.”

Plagg doesn’t reply, still staring at him with a look Adrien can’t quite identify. He feels oddly disoriented, like he actually did fall and hit his head, and now it’s spinning in retaliation. Across the street in front of him, the stoplight flickers — red, then orange, then red again. It flickers out entirely, before snapping back to a bright, acidic green. Adrien rubs his eyes.

“Let’s…let’s go home,” Plagg finally says, tucking himself back in Adrien’s shirt pocket. He doesn’t entirely meet Adrien’s eyes as he does, but he curls up against his chest, solid and warm, and it’s almost enough to banish the ache that lies beneath.

“Okay,” he says, softly. “Home, then.”

————

There’s a memory Adrien has, from when he was younger. It’s one he holds tightly to his chest, tattered and frayed as it is.

He was much smaller than he is now — barely six years-old, maybe, and small enough to hide behind the large statues his mother would put funny hats on to make his father laugh. She’d done just that earlier, standing tiptoed on the staircase as she’d slipped a terrible orange bowler hat on the pretty lady Nathalie said was from Greece. Adrien had giggled behind his fingers and his father had laughed, an unfamiliar sound that’s faded in memory now, but a bright and real one nonetheless.

It had been a good day, until mother had come down with a cold during dinner and Adrien had jolted out of sleep from a nightmare about giant, ugly orange hats that snatched up his mother with their ribbon-like fingers and took her away from him forever.

He’d sprinted through the house like the horrible hat monsters from his dream were on his heels, slipping in his socks up to the cracked door of his father’s study.

He hadn’t needed to knock, then, or even schedule a meeting. He’d slid through the doorway and barreled into his father, only to be caught by strong arms and swept into his father’s lap, warm and safe from any monsters that dared to follow him here.

“I’m worried about your mother, too,” his father had said. “But it’s just a cold, you see? Nothing to go slipping and falling down the stairs about.”

He’d received nothing but a sniffle in response.

“Alright.” Fingers had pinched around his nose as his father sighed. “How about we read a story then, until you’re not so frightened? Just you and me.”

The book they’d started that night was about a prince and a planet and a rose, and Adrien still remembers the sound his father’s voice made as it resonated where Adrien’s cheek pressed against his chest, his arms holding tight and warm around him, like nothing bad could slip in from outside and hurt him.

It’s a favorite memory of his, one Adrien finds springing back to mind whenever Father gives him a smile, half-formed and distanced as they are.

Lately, though, it’s a memory that stings to think about. It makes it harder to look Father in the eye, for some reason.

————

“And like, I really can’t say this enough, but I’m so sorry.”

“I told you, Nino, it’s fi—”

“No seriously, dude, I’m really sorry, I—”

“Nino.”

His friend finally jerks out from his puddle of miserable apologies, and Adrien gives him a weary smile. “It’s fine. You didn’t hurt me.”

“I dragged you into the boiler room then got akumatized,” Nino says, distressed. “That’s worse than like, the plot of eight different horror movies.”

“Your head was shaped like a giant blue tear, it wasn’t that scary,” Adrien assures him.

“I am ninety percent sure I remember shoving you to the floor,” Nino moans, not reassured in the least.

Part of Adrien’s mind, the part that sounds a little too much like a spurned cat whom hell hath no fury, or however the saying goes, wants to pipe up with the fact that getting shoved to the floor was five-star treatment compared to what Nino (akuma, Nino’s akuma, that’s important) had proceeded to do to him afterwards.

The bus-slamming thing had hurt.

Not as much as hurting Nino would’ve, though.

So instead, Adrien gives Nino the kindest smile he can, lays a gentle hand on his arm, and says, “As if the akuma gave you the biceps to pull that off.”

“Hey,” Nino knocks their shoulders together, his guilt ridden expression easing just a bit as he gives him a half-hearted grin. “I’m ripped, bro.”

It takes Adrien a moment to reply, too busy fighting the overwhelmingly — traitor — urge to follow the warmth of contact with Nino like a starving animal. He doesn’t need to fight for too long — his brain throws everyone thinks you’re a joke at him just in time for Adrien to hunch his shoulders in and give Nino an awkward little grin of his own.

Maybe his brain’s a traitor too, though, because he doesn’t remember Nino even saying that about Chat Noir.

He thinks.

Hopes.

Actually, his brain can go sit in a corner if it’s going to keep throwing stuff like this at him. Shaking anything and everything knowledge-wise that belongs to Chat Noir from his mind, Adrien turns his attention back to the scribbled game of hangman they’ve been playing on the corner of Nino’s history notes. Group projects are supposed to be fun, anyways, especially with Nino.

“Uh, c,” he guesses.

Nino adds a single c to the blank letter spaces. Adrien squints at the paper, his mouth downturning at the suspiciously familiar arrangement he has so far.

_adia_t, ca_ef_ee, d_ea_y

“Nino,” he says, carefully.

Nino smirks. “Mm-hm.”

“If this has anything to do with perfume ads—”

“Uh-huh?”

“Then I hate you.”

Nino cackles, scribbling in the rest of the rest of the accursed phrase as Max loudly hushes him. Adrien rolls his eyes and huffs, but he’s unable to stop the small smile of amusement. It quickly fades as his words to Nino echo with an uncomfortable emphasis in his head.

You’re being stupid, he tells himself. Adrien pushes away the nagging feeling. Nino knows he’s not serious. He knows Adrien doesn’t actually hate him. Just like Adrien knows Nino didn’t mean it, when he said all that stuff about Chat Noir.

His fingers tighten around his pencil. He’s not supposed to be thinking about that. Nino apologized, to Chat Noir himself, and just because Adrien can’t get the sting out, it doesn’t mean that Nino meant anything genuine by it.

Overly dramatic, Adrien reminds himself. Way too emotional.

The ache in his chest makes itself known again with a pang, and Adrien bites the inside of his cheek, glancing at Nino from the corners of his eyes.

Maybe he should tell Nino he cares about him, just to be sure. The words form in his mind, only to catch abruptly in his throat, thick and cloying. He thinks of how thoughtlessly he’s been able to tell Father he loves him. Thinks of how easy it’s always been to tell Ladybug how much she means to him.

He thinks of how neither of them seem to like meeting him in the eyes, lately.

He swallows the words, opting to smile brightly at Nino instead. It’s probably for the best. Nino’s always been better at picking up on people’s feelings, anyways, and he doesn’t need the kind of nagging assurance Adrien does. And it’s not like Adrien’s had much luck telling people he loves them, lately. Actually, if you look at his track record, he probably hasn’t…had any luck at all.

Adrien shakes his head, shoving the coldness creeping into his chest as far to the corner of his mind as he can, and sketches out enough blank spaces on the paper to spell fake mustaches are the new sexy.

If he can still make Nino laugh, it’s fine. He wouldn’t be laughing if he thought Adrien was annoying and obnoxious.

So see? It’s fine.

————

Adrien thinks about elastics, sometimes. The stretchy, rubber kind that Mme Thurston uses to pull back the longer locks of his hair while she’s doing his makeup, tying it up in a neat little explosion on top of his head that makes him look like a blond weed. She makes it look easy, twisting the little bands around and around, until they’re tight enough to hold his hair in place.

(Adrien’s hair is always easy, of course. Chat Noir’s hair, on the other hand, would probably give Mme Thurston nightmares. Mainly because Adrien has a fun little habit of shaking his head side to side until it’s an unrecognizable blond disaster, but that’s not particularly relevant.)

(Ladybug doesn’t even need to use elastics, opting for the soft strands of ribbon that hold her pigtails in perfect place.)

Adrien doesn’t normally use elastic bands either, but he likes the way they feel when he’s nervous, stretching and rubbery, then snapping perfectly back into place, like he’d never twisted them all out of proportion at all. The way he can hook his fingers in both ends and pull and pull and pull, but they never quite snap.

Felix has a fun trick with those, when they do photoshoots together.

(When they used to.)

He’ll press a little elastic against Adrien’s arm and pull the end back, just far enough, then let it snap back into place, stinging little red marks when it slaps against skin.

“Stop it,” Adrien scowls at him, but the expression wavers. Playful isn’t a word he uses along with Felix very often, but photoshoots are always more entertaining with him, at least. Or they were, until his mother disappears, and family photoshoots grind to an utter and complete halt forever—

—just for now, his father says, until something changes, until that something happens, until that metaphorical other foot that’s always hanging over Adrien’s head finally stomps its way back to earth and demolishes him in the process—

Felix replies by stretching another elastic between his fingers, shooting it toward him this time like a little slingshot. Adrien snags it out of the air, slotting it between his own fingers to fire back. It misses by a miserable meter and a half, because at the time this conversation takes place, he and Ladybug haven’t stayed up all night practicing their aim by trying to hit the left ear of Le Stryge on Notre-Dame.

Felix snorts, snatching the elastic from the floor, and makes a show of placing the band back against Adrien’s wrist. He pulls it back with a meaningful look, like an exasperated teacher. “It’s the bounce back that hurts,” he tells him. “Not the stretching part. When it snaps back to place—” He demonstrates by releasing the band, and Adrien flinches at the tiny sting. “—that’s the part that hurts.”

Four years later, having up close and personally experienced what a shattered ribcage stabbing into your lungs feels like, Adrien wants to correct Felix on tiny little elastic bands and what actually hurts, but the point, he guesses, is that he still remembers what it felt like.

He still thinks about those elastics sometimes, and how far they can be pulled until they snap back into place. How the little rubber band can make it so far, get so close to breaking, only to snap right back to where it started.

(Chat Noir doesn’t use elastics, either.)

————

For all that Adrien will stand by stuffing the worst of his emotions into a box and never thinking about them ever as a perfectly reasonable way to go about handling things —and whatever Plagg says doesn’t count, he’s a kwami who compares emotions to cheese — Adrien really does believe in communication as key.

Living it out is just. Another thing entirely.

But Adrien’s lived his life with a cold mansion’s worth of words left unsaid, so on principle, he really does believe that if something’s important, you should say it. Maybe nobody will really listen to you, or take you seriously, but at least you’ll have said it, and maybe at some point they’ll remember you said it, and it’ll mean something to them.

But maybe that’s what stopping him this time — he just can’t decide if it’s the idea of not being listened to that scares him, or the idea of actually being heard that’s worse.

It’s not like he wants to tell Ladybug he’s upset. It’s not like he even wants to be upset.

It doesn’t change the fact that he is, kind of, a little bit, (a lot) — but again, on principle, Adrien just — he doesn’t like being upset. It’s all uncomfortable and hot and it sits on his chest like a rock, weighing heavier and heavier until he learns to get over it.

It’s only worse when he tries to say something about it, because that never works. Maybe it’s a really sucky side effect of being homeschooled for most of his life, but every time Adrien opens his mouth to tell someone he’s upset with them and here’s why, it always backfires spectacularly. There’s a weird moment where something happens and the other person says their part, and suddenly Adrien’s complaints sound so stupid he wants to crawl in a hole and hide. There’s a dizzying one-eighty and Adrien’s suddenly the one in the wrong, and the other person’s upset at him, and now he’s got to apologize before he makes it worse than he already has.

And granted, most of those other people are just Father (or Father’s tinny voice through the phone), but he’s already enough to beat the lesson in.

Metaphorically, of course. Always — always metaphorically. Adrien’s never doubted otherwise.

“Maybe I’m just that bad at arguing,” he mutters, swiping darkly at his phone screen.

“I dunno,” Nino says, his voice consoling. “I mean, you were pretty good at it when you argued me into watching that one anime the other night.”

Adrien rolls his eyes. “I wasn’t upset with you about that.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” Nino winks at him. “Unless your voice going all high-pitched about why Sailor Moon is the peak of animation is your default setting.”

“I wasn’t upset with you, though,” Adrien shakes his head, cutting him off. “I’m never upset with you.”

And he isn’t, really. Not even when Nino tells him, in an admittedly roundabout way, that he’s annoying and irritating and has loose and shady moral commitment to love and all its forms (or something like that).

He means, it stings, but only in the way Felix’s little rubber band snaps do. Not enough to justify picking an argument with Nino. Not to justify upsetting him, and possibly losing the one friend who’s stuck by him through the worst and actually shares stuff with him these days.

Adrien bites down on the inside of his cheek. If he’s not careful with the way his train of thought’s been steering itself lately, he’s going to accidentally show Ladybug how upset he is, and that’s—

Well, the fallout of that will hurt a lot worse than a little elastic band snap.

A lot worse than it already does, so. Back in your corner, resentful thoughts.

“Uh-huh.” There’s a quiet edge of suspicion in Nino’s voice, and Adrien stiffens, suddenly feeling horribly seen. The look Nino’s pinned on him doesn’t help at all, searching and curious and—

Concerned? Upset? Angry?

Adrien doesn’t know. He thinks it’s concern, but he’s also been thinking Ladybug’s been amused with him when she’s apparently just been annoyed, so who knows, really—

Shut up, Adrien tells his subconscious furiously. Shut up, shut up, shut up.

“It’s okay, if you are,” Nino says hesitantly, perhaps having picked up on whatever storm of emotions are slipping through Adrien’s schooled expression. “Upset, I mean. At your old man or me. It’s better to talk to people upfront, y’know? Otherwise…”

Nino’s expression twists in guilt, and Adrien’s lungs feel a little like they’re shriveling up and dying. Or maybe that’s just his chest on the whole, collapsing in on itself and taking Adrien’s ability to breath right with it.

He isn’t upset. He’s not. He doesn’t need to talk to anyone upfront about it, because there’s nothing to talk about in the first place. He’s not going to be overly dramatic about this too, he’s not. He’s just— it’s just—

Is it personal? Was it something he did, that made Ladybug trust everyone else but him? Did he slip up at some point and he just — he can’t remember? She’d told him, she’d promised they were fine after New York, but maybe she’d changed her mind without telling him and decided he needed to figure out on his own where he messed up if he was ever going to be worthy of her trust agai—

“I’ll be — I’ve gotta — restroom,” Adrien stammers, shooting up from his seat and all but sprinting for the doors.

“Wait, Adrien—!”

Nino’s panicked call is lost as Adrien flies down the hall, slipping down the stairs to the bathrooms on the first floor where he’s less likely to be found. He doesn’t feel like he’s going to cry, or anything so humiliating, but there’s an awful crushing sensation in his chest that makes him think he might do something he’ll regret. Or say something, any of the raging thoughts that bang off the insides of his skull with hurt. Something he won’t be able to take back.

Adrien wavers, planting both hands on the edge of the sink and staring at the white porcelain. His breathing sounds odd in the echo of the bathroom, wavering and off-beat. His vision swims traitorously, so he glares up at the mirror instead, only to falter as he catches sight of his reflection.

He looks…not great. Pale skin and bloodshot eyes in the way that’s likely to make Nathalie call a doctor on him. Which would be just fantastically ironic, considering she’s the one who needs a doctor, even if she’s never going to admit it and keep lying to him. Just like Ladybug, all careful smiles and words chosen with forced, casual caution, staring at him with eyes that are a million other places except actually seeing him.

Stop, he tells himself furiously, squeezing his eyes shut. Stop. Ladybug is not Father. Ladybug is Ladybug, his best friend and partner and he trusts her, he trusts her to have her reasons for not telling him. He has to trust her. He does trust her, he—

A sharp cracking sound tears Adrien from his thoughts, and he snaps his head up to find seven of his own disjointed faces staring back at him. He blinks, and suddenly the faces are clinking to the floor, broken fragments of the mirror scattering around his shoes.

His first thought, apart from a bizarre sense of not being entirely in his body, is a well-timed curse word.

Instead, what he gets out is, “Seven years bad luck,” muttered, almost absently, beneath his breath.

Typical. He wonders if moonlighting as a black cat-themed superhero that leans heavily into exaggerated acrobatics counts as crossing one. Like he needs more bad luck, right now.

What he actually needs, is…

Is…

He needs an escape.

From everything, it feels like, but for now, Adrien will settle for an escape from the school bathroom with all the mirrors that just broke.

…somehow.

————

For all that he throws fits of drama about it, the thing is, Adrien has escaped.

He’s made it out of the house, to school. He’s learned physics and grammar and math that Nathalie taught him six months ago, and he’s learned how to play hangman and cut class and tell your friend’s fortune with folded paper. He’s made friends, real friends, and he’s learned how to muffle loud giggles on the phone at night and what kinds of snack food Nino likes and doesn’t like. He’s learned how to pick up on a whole slew of emotions other than disappointment and apathy and mildly reserved approval, and he’s learned how to tell when other people are hurting.

(He’s learned how to tell how he’s hurting, but he’s unlearned that one faster.)

He’s learned the words it takes to voice that Father isn’t always right, learned how to curl his fingers tight enough into his palms that they don’t shake so much anymore, and he’s learned how to stretch like a rubber band against people’s anger, bending without breaking.

(He’s also learned about the perks of night vision and bone density and six different ways to trip someone up with the leather belt you’ve got tied around your waist like a tail, but he can’t credit school for those.)

And he thinks — he thinks he’s come so far, he’s learned so much, he’s so much stronger now—

Then his father’s eyes soften just enough to resemble the eyes of the man who held him close and told him how much he loved him, loves him, who stayed up all night reading Adrien’s favorite book to him and whose lap was the safest, warmest place in the world, and Adrien—

Hates himself. Hates himself as he snaps right back into place, right back into the Adrien who crumbles at Father’s slightest snap of tone. Hates himself so much it stings.

Because it’s so much easier to do that, than it is to hate his father.

————

Adrien doesn’t particularly want to go to the photoshoot after school, especially not now that mirrors are literally breaking at the sight of his face, but — and here’s the fits of drama again — like everything else Father’s deigned to want, he doesn’t have much of a choice.

Technically, though, Adrien fantasizes as he fixes his eyes upward so the makeup artist can do her best to hide the darkening circles beneath them (“—really, dear, do you sleep at all these days—”), he could give himself a choice. He could make it fun, too, striking the perfect pose before transforming into Chat Noir right smack in front of the entire studio crew, and then Father would have something truly inspired to review that evening. A perfect snapshot of Adrien cataclysm-ing his merry way out of the studio and out into the gloriously free outside, that’s what.

Except then Adrien would have way too many choices to make, and even less all at once. The identity thing, being one. How to avoid Ladybug murdering him and dancing atop his grave, for another. Not that he thinks Ladybug is capable of murdering anyone, of course—

(—no, that’s solely reserved for him and his powers alone—)

—but he can imagine she’d be angry, were he to stage a reveal that way.

Were he to stage a reveal at all, Adrien thinks sourly, blinking until the stiff feeling of the makeup beneath his eyes fades. His makeup artist’s had to use the thick kind today, the extra-strength stuff that’s going to take forever to wash off. He stifles the urge to swipe at it, trying to relax into the feeling instead. Makeup is familiar, consistent. Sure, it’s technically another lie, but it’s one Adrien’s at least aware of. Makeup, he can see through. He can put it on and take it off himself, exercising some tiny semblance of control over what’s being hidden from the world.

Everything else, though…

“Carefree, my boy, carefree,” Vincent implores, his eyebrows furrowing as Adrien snaps himself back to the present. “You look as if you’re being drowned in mud, not soaring above the clouds.”

Adrien’s cheeks puff up as he blows his breath out, short and frustrated. At least Vincent is every bit as prone to fits of drama as he is, he reminds himself. It’s better to be stuck with someone passionate than someone as open as a brick wall, even if it is just Vincent antagonizing him with a camera again.

“Sorry,” he offers, giving him a weak grin. “I’ll get it this time, promise.”

Vincent doesn’t look entirely convinced, but he rambles about lighting and angles instead of scolding Adrien, which he can’t help but be grateful for. It allows Adrien a moment to let the smile drop, staring at the ground instead of the brightening lights around him.

He toes sullenly at the smooth linoleum of the floor, the solid black of Father’s logo glaring back at him from the side of his sneaker. Maybe he should just get more sleep. Maybe all the ugly tangled emotions in his chest are just residual buildup from being overtired, that’s all. Ladybug mentioned the stress getting to her a little while back, her own eyes bloodshot and exhausted. Adrien’s brilliant solution had been to take her to the movies, which had gone just as brilliantly as every other time he’s tried something like that, which is not very well at all. He’d been worried about her, though, even before she’d thrown him from a roof on accident. Ladybug carries so much on her shoulders, and strong as they are, Adrien knows what it’s like to be strung so tightly that even the slightest extra weight feels like it’ll snap you. He sees the same weight in his own eyes, now, even blinded by the studio lights.

His stomach twists. Ladybug’s eyes aren’t half as bloodshot lately. There’s an easiness to her that wasn’t there before, a lightening of tension, and yes, Adrien’s happy she’s feeling better, he’s nothing but glad that she isn’t so exhausted and worn, but…

But she’d trusted him before, even when she was strung her tightest. And now that there’s relief in her eyes, now that he’s taking a backseat and Ladybug adds more allies to their roster by the day, allies that she knows but he doesn't, allies that Alya and Nino probably know too, just like everything else, now that—

Was he the problem? Was it his fault, that Ladybug’s eyes turned shadowed and her movements wavered? He’s tried, he’s tried to be a rock for her, to be something constant and consistent as Adrien himself wants, but the horrible feeling that he’s not enough is now warring with the awful feeling that he’s the problem in the first place, because — why else? Why else would she shut him out like this? Why else would she decide he’s untrustworthy, after all this time, why—

The lights against his vision suddenly flare painfully bright, so bright Adrien’s forced to stagger back.

Vincent jolts away with a cry, waving his hand frantically as the camera sparks and sputters. Echoed cries of surprise ring throughout the studio as the overhead lights flicker wildly, turning the studio into a frightening mockery of a particularly bad nightclub.

Adrien stumbles again, alarm coursing through his veins like a cold burst of water, and he darts for the intern nearby, who’s fallen over in her scramble to back away from the strobing lights. She’s just taken his hand when the lights go dark, plunging the studio into blackness. Before anyone can react beyond a frightened shriek, the lights snap back on, bright and steady as if nothing’s happened.

Adrien slowly pulls the intern to her feet, staring at the blazing lights as his vision swims, blinking against the sudden onslaught of dark spots in his eyes.

“Is it an akuma?” the intern asks, her eyes wild with fear. “Should we — should we evacuate?”

Adrenaline shoots through Adrien’s veins, his head whipping back and forth as he searches for a spark of purple, for the familiar edge of butterfly’s wings. But there’s nothing out of place, save the sputtering camera Vincent’s fretting over. There’s no sign of garish transformation, no following explosions, no loudly proclaimed demands for miraculous. In fact, if Adrien hadn’t seen it himself, it would appear as if nothing’s ever happened at all.

“It could’ve been the power lines,” someone suggests. “This place is pretty old, you know.”

“With Agreste’s standards?” someone else mutters. “I doubt it.”

“The camera is broken. Unsalvageable,” Vincent announces over the outbreak of murmurs. To his credit, he barely sounds shaken. “It must have been a power failure, or a blown fuse, I suppose. Nothing we can help.”

Vincent’s word is all the rest of the crew needs, and before Adrien can clamber up to inspect the lights himself, he’s being ushered from the studio, another intern furiously muttering about how she refuses to be fired for losing a model to “subpar building inspections” or something along those lines.

Adrien, who is already anticipating Father’s reaction himself, can’t blame her for bailing the moment he’s in the Gorilla’s hands.

————

Adrien is six years and three months old when his father finally finishes reading Le Petite Prince to him, and he comes the closest he ever has to throwing a fit at the ending.

He doesn’t actually throw a fit, of course, because then his father might not read to him ever again. That they finished this book together is already more precious as anything Adrien’s ever owned, and he won’t ruin that with his dramatics.

“Not all stories have the happy endings you want, Adrien,” his father tells him. Adrien feels his arms tighten around his shoulders, where he sits snugly in his father’s lap. “Sometimes you must make the most of what you have.”

Even at a young age, Adrien knows that he has quite a lot. The knowledge only grows as he does, just how much he has from his last name alone. His room alone could rival some people’s homes, Adrien has no right to want for anything.

And yet.

Sometimes, Adrien thinks back to the deep timbre of his father’s voice as he reads about yellow snakes and desert flowers and feels a stinging sense of loss so sharply it takes his breath away.

Other times, though, Adrien thinks about his father choosing to read a story about a boy who could only return home by letting a snake poison him, and wonders what that says about their relationship.

It’s not even Father’s icy tone that hurts anymore, really, Adrien thinks, as he picks at his dinner. Not that he’s likely to hear that tone tonight. Father’s locked himself firmly in his office again, and even Nathalie is nowhere to be seen. It’s quiet enough that Adrien’s gotten away with heating up the cheapest dinner they have in the house, and scouring enough cheese for Plagg that he won’t be complaining for a month.

Well, a day, maybe. Plagg’s a special kind of greedy.

But it’s painstakingly clear that Adrien will be dining alone, tonight. There hasn’t even been a single message fro Nathalie, informing him of all the lessons he’s been falling short in lately. Adrien twists his fork in his hand, setting it down with a weary sigh as dark spots flicker before his eyes again.

At least there won’t be anyone to lecture him, he tells himself, tapping absently on the table. The smooth wood looks immaculate beneath his fingers, the edge of his pinky still a bruised purple from the other evening, when Adrien misjudged the distance from the rooftop to his own window.

Father won’t be able to lecture him about that, either, so it’s a good thing, really. It’s a good thing, that no one will be saying anything to him about the studio mishap earlier, or the darker than usual circles beneath his eyes, or he way he’s been showing up late more often than not to everything. Not about his slipping grades, or the way he keeps forgetting to hide his glare when photoshoots run longer than they’re supposed to.

It’s a good thing, Adrien tells himself, as his fingers clench around the table’s edge. It’s a good thing that he’s alone tonight. Being alone and unseen is much better than the alternative. It’s a good thing, that he can stew in whatever ugly emotions keep threatening to rise to the surface all by himself, where he won’t risk hurting anyone else with them. He can’t mess anything up if no one’s there to see it, so really, it’s a good thing, it’s—

It hits him, all-encompassing and overwhelming all at once.

Unwanted, thick and horrible and choking, the sensation of being traded out and traded off and stepped over, left behind and left out and laughed at in vicious whispers, closed doors and closed expressions and locking him out, like bars sliding down from the ceiling and cutting him off, trapped in place like an animal in the zoo, entertaining for a heartbeat than easily moved past for something better, unwanted and untrusted and alone, alone, alone again—

Adrien buckles and something howls in his ears, his hands burning as his fingers crunch through wood and his vision whites out.

For a heartbeat, Adrien isn’t Adrien — he’s the swelling of flames as fire catches light, he’s the pull of the undertow as it rips across the shore, he’s the blazing burst of lightning against metal, he’s on the edge of a cliff and stepping off—

And then he’s Adrien again, small and shaking and breathing in large, heaving gasps, trying desperately not to throw up all over the table.

“—drien, kid, Adrien, please!”

Adrien tears his hands from the table as if it’s shocked him. Black flecks drift from his fingers as they tremble, and Plagg splits into three as he flits in front of him, six pairs of green eyes staring at him in blazing concern.

“Plagg?” He barely recognizes his own voice, and his throat feels like sandpaper.

“Breathe,” Plagg orders as his image solidifies back to one, more serious than Adrien can remember him sounding. “You gotta breathe, Adrien.”

He does, in stuttering, shaky gasps, because Adrien will do anything Plagg asks him to. He’ll light himself on fire if he wanted, because Plagg is all he’s got.

Plagg is here, and that means more to Adrien than anything else could.

“Breathing,” he finally croaks out. “I’m — breathing, see? S’all good.”

It is most certainly not all good, because Adrien still feels like he got thrown off a building and into a blender, but Plagg almost looks frightened, looking from Adrien to the table to Adrien again, and—

Adrien freezes. The table. The stupidly, enormous, ridiculously expensive, lonely table his family’s supposed to use. The table he definitely, most certainly felt crunch under his hands.

Adrien follows Plagg’s gaze downwards, and suddenly feels like he’s going to throw up again.

“Oh,” he whispers.

Ice coats the inside of his chest, cold and creeping. The sidewalk. The mirrors, the studio camera, and now this.

“Adrien.” Plagg sounds so very serious.

He could explain most of it away. It’d be — it would be easy.

But this?

Adrien stares at the half-decayed table, ashes still flaking from the sides in a way that’s horribly distinctive of his cataclysm. A spiderwebbed path of smoldering destruction, all tracing back to where his fingers had been white-knuckled at the table’s edge.

Something snaps in the chandelier above him, cracking once and fizzling off into sparks.

It feels like something’s snapped in Adrien’s head. Maybe he’s lost it. Maybe he’s finally gone off the edge, and that — that can be his excuse, when Father asks him what, exactly, he did to the table. He can tell Father they’ve both lost it, they’ve both gone mad, and wouldn’t mom think this was all so funny—

A sound like a sob rips itself from his chest, before Adrien can strangle it into submission. He can’t lose it now. He can’t break down, he has to — he has to come up with a way to explain this, he has to find an escape, or Father’s going to be so angry, and so cold, and…and…

Adrien goes still. Like ice, numb and calming, he realizes he doesn’t have to worry about excuses. He doesn’t have to worry about any of that at all. No one’s coming. Not to check on him. The silence of the house is overpowering, the tiny patter of the vaporized table bits as they land on the floor almost thunderous.

“Adrien,” Plagg repeats, softer this time. “I need you to look at me.”

Slowly, he lifts his head, meeting Plagg’s bright green eyes with his own. Something in Plagg’s expression goes tight, a myriad of emotions flickering in his eyes before he schools them back into careful calm.

“Oh, kid.” Plagg’s voice is gentle. It still sounds like a lament.

Adrien tears his gaze away, swallowing. His fingers, still shaking, curl into unsteady fists. They feel odd, almost scalded. Adrien ignores it.

He can hide the table, he tells himself. He can fix the chandelier. No one will notice. He can hide this.

He’s Adrien Agreste.

He can deal with a couple of cracks in his facade.

#ml spoilers #miraculous ladybug #adrien agreste #nino's here as well #he's just not clogging up the fic with his internalizing like adrien is #ml season 4 spoilers #rocketear spoilers #i just have a lot of thoughts about the powers of destruction #and what that could mean potentially #if you weren't cowards mr astruc

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persepholline · 3 years

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I've read that article about the romanticization of the Darkling and while I absolutely understand people who are pissed off/sad and I agree that it's shitty, I find LB's attitude towards Darkles stans very funny in a "girl what are you doing" sort of way because it's so petty like I've never heard of a bestselling author writing a portion of their fans into their books as a crazy cult before, it clearly hit a nerve

I'm new to the fandom but the feeling I get is she wrote something problematic ten years ago and became very embarrassed about it afterwards so she turned on the fans that liked it as a way to absolve herself. Especially since fandoms in general have become a lot more focused on discussion of what constitutes healthy/acceptable relationships to write about. And in a way I get it I had a huge Twilight phase in high school and afterwards I was super embarassed about it because of how problematic and cringe it was. But now with distance and more maturity I'm able to both still see why it was problematic and also why I was drawn to it (mostly the very unhinged representation of female desire) and like...it's really not the end of the world and no it never made me believe that breaking into somebody's room at night to watch them sleep was actually ok in real life lmao. This feels so obvious to me but apparently it needs to be said.

(More under the break this is turning into an essay, I've been thinking of this a lot recently)

And of course it's good to have these discussions about how historically romance tropes have echoed social dynamics of men's shitty behavior being romanticized and excused. But these days they often are so simplistic and focused on chasing clout that they become this weird new puritanism and moral panic about oh now women are reading novels it's going to make them hysterical or something

So you have these weird assumptions that you can't like a character and also be critical of their actions, or enjoy certain parts of a character and not others, or wish they were written differently and like them more for their potential (which I'm sure stings a bit for an author lol) - it assumes that if you like a character it means you would approve of their actions in real life, or that people just stupidly reproduce whatever they see on TV. That tendency to treat fictional characters like real people is the thing that actually worries me, to be honest, because it indicates a lack of distance and critical capacities regarding how stories are used and received. But people - fans and authors - are so scared of being called out as problematic and harassed for it that they're going to shy away from any nuance.

And yeah I think that it's good that standards of what constitutes an ideal relationship are evolving and becoming more feminist and communicative and all that and we definitely need more of that. But not all fiction has to be aspirational! Sometimes you just want to read about fucked up shit, because it's cathartic or fascinating, even healing at times because with fiction you are absolutely in control and can choose when to close the book. Toxic relationships in fiction can have an appeal specifically because they go to extremes of feeling that we don't want to go to in reality, in exactly the same way as horror movies or very violent action movies - which I don't see a lot of people besides fundamentalist Christians argue that they turn you into violent psychopaths (and that feels very obviously sexist). And for women, who are often taught growing up that love is the purpose of life, the "saving someone with your ability to love" can be a power fantasy in the same way that being a buff superhero who saves the day with their capacity for incredible violence can be a power fantasy for men. Still doesn't mean those women are going to fall in love with actual murderers or that those men are going to start beating up people at night. And love is scary, and weird, and weirdly close to horror at times, with all the potential for loss of self and being vulnerable and overwhelming feelings and potential for being horribly hurt and it should be possible for stories to explore that without anybody screaming about how this is going to Corrupt the Youth or something

And I mean I get it LB wanted to write a cautionary tale for teenagers, but it just did not work for reasons a lot of people have already written about - the fact that the Darkling is the leader of an oppressed minority and is the only one with a real political agenda to end that oppression in the first trilogy, the fact that he helps Alina come into her own power while her endgame LI is someone she keeps herself small for, that she's shamed for wanting power after growing up without any, a generally very wonky conception of privilege, and a lot of other stuff with yucky regressive implications to the point where stanning the villain actually feels liberating and empowering which is a surefire sign that the narrative is broken (unless it's a villain focused story lmao). But of course that Fanside article makes almost no mention of the political dynamics, it's all about interpersonal stuff which is an annoying trend in YA, there are those massive events happening in the background but it's made all about the feelings of the hero(ine) ; war as a self-development quest (which is kind of gross). Helnik is kind of an example of this too - I like them, I think they're fun ! But Matthias spends a big part of the story wanting to brutally murder Nina and her kind, and he mostly changes his mind because he finds her hot. Like you don't feel there is some sort of big revelation that his entire moral system and political framework is completely rotten ; it's all better because of feelings now.

As a teenager that kind of sanctimonious bullshit would have annoyed the hell out of me ; I read those books in my early twenties and I found the ending so stupid I wouldn't have trusted any message or life lessons coming from them. And I liked reading/watching dark stuff as a teenager, as a way to deal with the very intense inner turmoil I was dealing with - and I turned out fine ! Meanwhile I've seen several times women in very shitty relationships being obsessed with positive energies and stories ; they were so terrified of their life not being perfectly wholesome they ended up being delusional about their own situations.

Like personally I think the Darkling is a compelling, interesting, alluring character and also a manipulative, murderous piece of shit and that Alina should get to punish him (like in a sexy way) - but he's also the end result of centuries of war, oppression and trauma and reducing that to "toxic wounded boy" feels kind of offensive ngl ESPECIALLY since the books don't offer any kind of systemic analysis or response to oppression beyond "the bad guy should die" and "now the king/queen is a good guy our problems are solved!!!!"

In Lives of the Saints, we see how Yuri is abused extremely badly and almost killed by his father, and so when his father dies when the Fold swallows Novokribirsk, he thinks the Starless Saint has saved him. Later in KoS/RoW he's turned into this fanatic who explains away all the Darkling's crimes. The other followers talk about how the Starless Saint will bring equality for all men. Then the Darkling comes back and actually thinks his followers are pathetic, which feels again like a very pointed message to his IRL stans. Which is absolutely hilarious to me. Like oh no, if he was real he would not like you and think you're pathetic ! Yeah ...but he's not. Real. Damn right he would not like the fics where Alina puts him on a leash. I'm still going to read them. What is he going to do about it, jump out of the page ? Jfjfjjdhfgfjfj

Anyway I think the intended message is "assholes will use noble political causes for their own gain and to manipulate people" and "being abused/oppressed is not an excuse to behave badly." Which. Sure. But that's kind of like...a tired take, honestly ? A big number of villains nowadays are like this ; either they've been bullied as kids, or they're part of an oppressed group, or they have "good ideals but too extreme". This is not surprising because a lot of mainstream heroic narratives present clinging to the status quo as Good and change as chaotic and dangerous. And like sure in real life people often do bad shit because they're wounded and in danger. But if you want to do a story like that, you have to do it with nuance, talk about cycles of violence, about how society creates vulnerable people to be exploited, about how privilege gives you more choices and the luxury of morals, etc. The Grishaverse does not have this level of nuance (maybe in SoC a little bit but definitely not in TGT). So it kind of comes off as "trauma makes you evil" and "egalitarianism is dangerous" and "if you're abused/oppressed you're not allowed to fight back". And ignores the fact that historically, evil generally comes from unchecked privilege.

I guess my point is that there are many things I like about LB's writing, she knows how to create these really exciting character dynamics, and the world she has created is fascinating. But these stories are not a great starting point for imparting moral lessons. And her best characters tend to be, at least in canon, the morally grey ones. I hope one day she'll be at peace with the fact that she wrote the Darkling the way she did and leave his fans alone but in the meantime I'm just not going to take this whole thing seriously I'm sorry

#darklina #the darkling #alina starkov #aleksander morozova

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tedturneriscrazy · 3 years

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Another Saturday, another episode! Let's take a look at Keeping Up A-fear-ances!

(Good lord I'm starting to make myself sound like some sort of content creator)

Oh, okay, we're just starting at that level of intensity, huh?

Chest gem origins

Gwendolyn not being satisfied with managing the curse and determined to cure it? I'm sure this won't be a real world allegory in the slightest.

Oh, so Eda literally just stumbles upon the portal? I could call that contrived, but honestly it's not dissimilar to how Dipper found Journal 3. For that matter, the entirety of Lord of the Rings is predicated on an accidental discovery like this and nobody gave Tolkien shit about it.

Was the eye on the portal cracked in previous episodes? I don't remember.

Seems like Gwen is the "well-meaning but ultimately misguided" flavor of mom.

As an aside, I am now quite curious about how Eda's first trip to the human realm went. Maybe a future episode will cover it? At any rate, I smell a new favorite fic prompt.

The screaming alarms in the Demon Realm will never not be funny to me.

Also, that is a worrying number of hearts. Eda is straight up murdering these poor creatures.

For some reason the gold fang being removable never occurred to me as a possibility, and now I feel like a kid who's discovered that Santa isn't real.

Oh hey, the new outfit! I'm also impressed how close to symmetrical that tearing was.

I need to get a screencap of Luz sleeping on that stack of books because she is adorable.

Also, staying up all night researching? This season seems determined to completely eradicate the notion of Luz being dumb, and I am here for it.

I have a feeling the Hexside mug will be making its way to The Mystery Shack in the near future.

Lilith's first experience with transformation and she seems understandably horrified.

The curse acting stronger when stressed? That seems...important.

Ah, so the dismemberment is from the curse! A surprisingly useful side effect from what we've seen so far.

Can I just say that I appreciate how Eda's reaction to Lilith's first taste of transformation is immediate remedy, explanation, and reassurance? And doesn't make any snarky comments along the lines of "now you know what it's like?" Whatever happened in that week and a half must have been cathartic as hell.

"Always. Always curious." Luz is the TOH fandom.

(Also, Eda, you know she is, considering how much she went on about your "mysterious past" at the Covention)

"Magic bird tornado?!" Luz has a way with words that's just *chef's kiss*.

"Gwendolyn." Eda is already just fucking done.

"MOM?!?!" Jeez, Lilith, you're just now hearing all this?

I was charmed by how motherly Gwen was acting toward Eda, but then she kinda just...dismissed Lilith, and now I'm somehwat less charmed.

(Sweet flea as a term of endearment is kinda cute, though might have some unfortunate implications depending on how you want to interpret it)

"Who knows what they put in those nasty concoctions?" OH WE GOING FOR THE ANTI-VAXXERS NOW YESSSS

Luz and Lilith's reaction to that whole exchange is priceless.

Everyone's perspective here makes perfect sense for who they are and what they've been through.

Poor Lilith. Her cursing Eda is beginning to make more sense.

Ah, thus begins the collaboration.

"We'll be consulting someone very special." Why does that seem so...ominous?

Is there anyone who watched this episode for the first time whose bullshit detector didn't go off immediately when Gwen mentioned finding someone who promised a cure?

Heh, Palm Stings.

Nonbelievers will be blinded by the power of the tome? I'm sure they will be, Wartlop.

I must say, as something of a scientist myself (okay that's not true, I'm a QA tech for a food manufacturer, but I do have a chemistry degree), I am 100% here for the swings being taken at faith healing/"miracle" cures/anti-vaxxers in this episode

Oh, we Wile E. Coyote now, huh?

Also, interesting how much apple blood is being played up in this episode.

Lilith please you're projecting your mommy issues on a literal child

OH WE REALLY JUST WILE E. COYOTE HUH?

You're right, Luz, Gwen's bicep game is goals.

(Somewhat disappointed the scars are from questing and not beastkeeping, but eh)

Why do I get the feeling there's gonna be a future episode where everybody stages an intervention for Eda's apple blood problem?

"Those feathers mean we're driving the beast out" Gwen no

Hooty is holding the brain cell? Oh no...

If that ice cream came from the Night Market it would explain why Lilith sounds drunk.

(Side note: I can't be the only one getting flashbacks to Mermista's ice cream binge, right? Different context, but still)

"Abomi-berry" "Franken fruit" "Key slime pie" These are A+ flavor names.

Oh, there's the transformation...

I must say that whole segment kinda rubbed me the wrong way. The way King's opinion on his dad was changed seemed...I don't know how to describe it. I get that they needed a trigger for Lilith's transformation, but honestly if any part of the episode is contrived it's this.

"¡It really is that good!" So that's what an accent slip in written form looks like. (The upside down exclamation point is used in Spanish, in case anyone didn't know)

I keep half expecting Eda to say "Beep! Beep!" at this point.

Luz is finally asking questions. Took long enough.

Ah, the classic "moving the goal posts to extract more money from a desparate family member" technique.

Luz channeling Scorpion, we love to see it.

There is an exquisite irony in Eda's mom being scammed, I must say.

Ah, so that's where the elixirs went. Dammit, Gwen.

Luz is definitely thinking "Are you fucking kidding me right now?!"

Beast!Lilith is massive.

"Sweet flea?" Gwen just realized she done goofed.

"I can see you still need a little time." God Luz is so fucking smart.

The con revealed.

OH DAMN SCARY MAMA

(Also I am terrified of bees/wasps, so extra scary mama in my book)

The scam is revealed, goblins, getting back into the Wartlop disguise is kinda pointless.

She joined the Beast Keeping coven entirely to cure the curse? That's dedication. A shame you couldn't have spared some of that for Lilith.

Still, I do like badass scary mama Gwen. I'd be down to see more of that.

Owl Beast fight!

I am slayed by the fact that the portraits are now officially a recurring gag 😂

Aw, here's The Moment™️

"My turn to drive" Does this imply cars are a thing on the Boiling Isles after all?

Lilith crying almost immediately💔 She was holding onto a lot of pain.

Yes, King, she was trying to do her best. I mean, road to hell or whatever, but at least Gwen got there in the end.

WHAT?! YOU'RE BREAKING UP LULU AND HOOTCIFER?!?!?!?

Terrace, that's just cruel. (Worthless brownie points for whoever understands that reference)

No, seriously, you can't just give me my favorite inter-character relationship in the series after Lumity and just...take it away like that, come on! 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I know I should remark on how Lilith told Gwen about the circumstances of the curse, how Gwen rightfully accepted responsibility for the whole situation, and how Luz finds the big hair aspirational, but...NOOOO DON'T END THE ADVENTURES OF LULU AND HOOTCIFER WHYYYYYYYYY💔😭💔😭💔😭

"BUT I CAN'T HOLD A PEN!"

I will never emotionally recover from this.

Okay, I think I got that out of my system. Anyway...

Not the only human, huh? Cue the "Belos is a human" theorists going into maximum overdrive.

That said, a tantalizing lore dump.

We certainly do have a lot of garbage. Some of it even holds office. HEY-O!

Setting up the next episode, too. Continuity!

Camp's over, huh? That means it's been three months.

Way to misdirect with Camila, guys. That said, we have now seen Camila cry and I HATE it. (In the right way, I think)

WHAT THE FUCK

HOLY SHIT

CREEPY LUZ IS REAL WHAT

OWJEIWHQGIWWOPQ

(It's hard to keysmash on a phone, even with autocorrect off)

That wraps it up! The flaws in this episode seem more pronounced than any others in the season so far, but the good stuff was really good! Overall a solid episode! I know everybody's looking forward to library Lumity in the next one (so am I), but I'm personally eager to see what they do with Gus. His part is the A plot, after all.

Anyway, I'll be back at this next week! Still hard to believe this is a thing, but that's life, I guess.

#the owl house #eda clawthorne #gwendolyn clawthorne #luz noceda #lilith clawthorne #king of demons #toh king #toh s2 spoilers #the owl house s2 spoilers #the owl house season 2 spoilers #toh spoilers #the owl house spoilers

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ordinaryschmuck · 3 years

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What I Thought About "Echoes of the Past" from The Owl House

Salutations, random people on the internet who most certainly won’t read this. I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

What probably gets debated the most in the fandom is the legitimacy behind King being the King of Demons. Some believe that there's truth to his statement, while others, like me, like to think that he was just some stray Eda picked up off the streets. Either option seemed likely, especially since Season One never gave an answer that leaned one way or the other.

Then here comes the writers finally answering the question of who King is in episode THREE of Season Two! Because, again, they don't waste time on giving fans exactly what they want.

Fans wanted answers behind King, we got 'em, and analyzing what those answers mean requires going deep into spoilers. So if you haven't checked the episode out yet, I highly recommend that you do. Trust me, it's worth seeing.

Now let's review, shall we?

WHAT I LIKED

Luz Experimenting with Spells: Hey, look! More proof that Luz isn't an idiot like some people flanderize her to be!

But, seriously though, this is a perfect little thread to introduce into the story. Luz collecting knowledge from Lilith's old books and past work she and Eda made adds to Luz's intelligence while also providing a believable explanation for how she gets new spells. It's also nice to see that she has this little notebook (or spellbook) to help see what works and what doesn't. It's a level of experimentation that proves her dedication to becoming a witch while also exemplifying how she isn't stupid. Occasionally reckless, sure, but you can't say that the person who figured out an invisibility spell through showing her work is also an idiot.

Francios with a Knife: How did Francois get a knife? I don't know. But the fact that a random knife plopped out behind him with little to no explanation is funny, and I will not hear otherwise.

I don't make the rules. I just abide by them.

Luz’s Invisibility Spell: I breezed past this, but I honestly love this invisibility spell. More specifically, I love that there's a limiter. It can turn you, objects, and people you're in contact with invisible, but only as long as you can hold your breath. It helps make the spell something the characters can't always rely on, which is appreciated. Because if it works as long as they concentrate, what's stopping them from sneaking into Belos' castle and assassinating him in his sleep? It's a smart way of explaining why they can't always rely on something, despite how insanely useful it is.

Luz: Let's gush about Luz some more, shall we!

"Echoes of the Past" is another episode that has Luz on top form. She is constantly supportive of King, even if Lilith has a point in the dangers of indulging his fantasy as a powerful tyrant. Doing so would cause more harm than good, especially when King finds out Luz doesn't believe him, but her going along with it was all done with the best of intentions. Luz doesn't want to hurt her friend, and even if she did in the long run, she still makes up for it by helping King learn more about his past.

And, as another reminder, Luz isn't stupid. She's the first to say they should leave when it's clear how dangerous the castle is and is quick to figure out there should be more at the top. Luz is a loyal and caring friend who's also guarded and intuitive when the situation calls for it. This episode understood that, so here's hoping other fans will too.

Lilith: Yeah, she's still growing on me.

I feel like this episode shows a better idea of Lilith's place in the group more than the past two. She's a person who's obsessed with knowledge and learning but considers herself above the jovial nature of King, Luz, and definitely Eda. Therefore, she acts as the perfect catalyst for what jumpstarts this week's adventure. It doesn't surprise me in the slightest that she almost instantly dismisses King's claims due to considering herself more knowledgeable than everyone else. Still, I like how she's willing to believe King once she finally sees evidence that seemingly proves he really was the King of Demons, to the point of referring to him as "her lord." Hooty does the same thing, but it comes across as him fearing for his own life and choosing to be friends with someone who could maybe kill him in an instant. For Lilith, her newfound respect comes from the desire to learn more, and it's that desire that makes Lilith an enjoyable character to me. It's adorable to see, and it has some comedic flavor in moments like when she dismisses everyone else and their emotional revelations to take pictures of the carvings around her. I'm sure she'll cause some controversy like other characters with rushed reformations, but for me, I'm more than ok with her addition to the main cast.

More of Lilith’s and Hooty’s Friendship: HOW DOES THIS WORK!?

ON PAPER, IT SEEMS LIKE IT WOULD BE A BAD IDEA, BUT IT F**KING WORKS!

HOW?!

WHAT BLACK MAGIC DID THESE WRITERS USE TO MAKE A RELATIONSHIP SO UNEXPECTED COME ACROSS AS SO ENDEARING AND ADORABLE?!

And where can I get some for my stories...just asking.

But seriously: HOW?!

Hooty Making Himself Portable: Ah, yes. The classic bit where a character does something horrifically grotesque off-screen, and we have nothing but character reactions and sound effects to imagine what happened between shot A and shot B. It's an oldie, but given how hard I was laughing (mostly because of Luz's gagging), it's still a goodie.

Eda’s Portable Bathtub Boat Thing: I mean...I was expecting Eda would use something to catch up with the others, but...that thing...well...I mean, I'm still laughing just by thinking about it. That should tell you how well executed this joke was.

John Luke: ...I'm gonna go ahead and add him to the list because HOLY S**T was this guy disturbing! From his design to his movements to even the sounds he makes when moving, everything about John Luke screams as something that will stay in kids' nightmares for a while. Now, this might seem like a complaint, but to be honest, I'm more than alright with how creepy John Luke is. I highly doubt adult viewers will consider John Luke scary, but I guarantee he'll terrify some of the youngins that this series is aimed for. And that's fine. It's good to creep kids out a little bit with something somewhat scary, as it might introduce them to more good horror stories later in life.

Plus, the reveal that John Luke was only a guard for King is pretty solid narratively speaking. You can see how John never really meant to hurt King aside from one accident when Eda escaped with him. If you want to read into it, I guess it might be questionable to tell kids that something that looks dangerous is secretly nice, but that's really nitpicky, in my opinion. John Luke was a fantastic threat that is designed and animated well, with a solidly executed twist. Some might hate what he presents, most will fear him, but we can all agree on one thing: His theme is awesome (can I get the track for that, please)!

King’s Backstory: Finally, at long last, we know who King is, thus putting an end to a year-long debate. And I fully mean it when I say that the writers gave the best possible answer. Because in a way, everyone was right. Yes, King was just an animal that Eda decided to adopt, like the nature-loving hippie she is inside (She's got the hair for it). However, while he may not be the King of Demons himself, he is still the son of someone who deserves that title. So while he isn't the King, there's a chance he might be the Prince. Once again, there's no direct answer, but given how the writers came up with something that pleases everyone while still providing more questions for debate, it acts as a brilliant move, in my opinion. So whatever answer we get next, I'm sure it will be just as perfect.

Baby King:

My heart was not prepared for that level of cuteness!

King’s Breakdown: NOR WAS IT READY FOR THIS LEVEL OF SADNESS!

But in all seriousness, a HUGE round of applause to Alex Hirsch for his performance in this episode. He expertly captured the raw emotions of shock, anger, betrayal, and sadness that King must have felt when finding out that everything he believed he was is a lie. It's one of those moments where I don't hear a person voicing lines in a booth (or wherever the hell VAs are voicing characters nowadays), but instead hear a living person being emotionally torn apart. It was heartbreaking seeing King so vulnerable as he's so guarded with his emotions. Seeing him like this adds so much more layers to a character that many would mistake him as a cute, comedic animal sidekick. But just like with Luz, there's more to him than people will tell you.

“I don’t even know what’s real or fake anymore!”: I'm just pointing out this line because I believe it's what convinces Luz to help King learn more about who he is. Hell, not knowing what's real or fake is the main reason why Luz got sent away in the first place, so I feel like she can relate to King when he's in a similar predicament.

Hooty and Lilith vs John Luke: This was just a cool scene with some epic moments of dodging John Luke's attacks and some funny ones, like how Hooty said the word "pain." It's a ten out of ten that I would rewind to watch again.

King’s Other Horn: I'd question the logistics of how a horn that got broken off when he was a baby still manages to fit perfectly in the present...but it is neat symbolism of King accepting his past and letting it be a part of him, so who cares?

(The fact that the colors of the broken-off piece don't match the rest of the horn is nice attention to detail as well.)

WHAT I DISLIKED

It's a Little Too Predictable: I pretty much figured almost every little twist the episode offers. But, I'm willing to say that's because I'm in my twenties, and I've seen enough stories similar to this one, so I'm more likely to know what will happen. The little monsters watching this will see it for the first time, so they'll most likely get more surprised than me...And that was my only complaint about the episode...which is more of a personal problem than an actual issue...I guess that means it's perfect.

IN CONCLUSION

"Echoes of the Past" is an easy A+ in my book. It gives lore and backstory that furtherly develops the characters that episodes like this should. It also tells a tragic story about King that still sprinkles in a few good jokes every now and again to lighten up the mood. Sure, there are some nitpicks I could mention (how did King remember his own birth?). But when the good stuff is done so well, what's the point of dwelling on small, insignificant issues? This is still a phenomenal episode that flew past all expectations I had for it, and it continues the winning steak this season is having so far.

(But that's still three home runs in a row. Meaning that a stinker is coming. Ooiee, is it coming!)

#the owl house #the owl house season 2 #king of demons #luz noceda #lilith clawthorne #toh hooty #the owl house reviews #what i thought about

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shoichee · 3 years

Note

Since requests are open- can I please get a Murasakibara hc/fic (whatever works best for you babes!) with a shy and introverted S/O? Maybe a cute date that they do together? Thank you so much bubs ily 🥺🥺

Consider me your new friend in this lowkey dead fandom 🥺💖💖💖

hi!! let’s be friends together in this ghost town together HFUWHEIGJS thank you so much for requesting <33

Sweet Sample

Murasakibara x Reader

Word Count: 2019

»»—————　☼　—————««

How did you get yourself here?

You remembered being dragged around by Himuro in a blur of houses until you both, before you knew it, stood before his house that reeked “high class.” Before you can muster up any form of complaint that you (sort of) thought up of when you were dragged, Himuro ushers you in hurriedly. Even when he was in a rush, his movements were elegant and fluid.

“... a-ah, Himuro-san?” was all you muttered, but you only got a closed click of his bulky front door as a reply. You turned around to face a nonchalant ravenette shedding off his outer coats before he hung them on the racks next to you.

Too nonchalant, in fact.

You weren’t that close to him enough to warrant a casual visit to his home, nor did you have any reason to come here in the first place. Yet, Himuro looked as if you two had plans for the evening but that you somehow forgot that you had an arrangement with him in the first place. Plus, and probably the most crucial part that made this entire ordeal awkward to you, was that you’re dating Murasakibara. Anyone with common sense can see countless implications when someone is alone in someone else’s house, let alone dragged into one.

“U-um…”

“(Y/n)-san,” he smoothly interjects, nodding his chin to the racks to indicate for you to take off your outer layers as well. “If I may ask you something.” You only nodded in meekness as you tapped your left feet behind your right leg, a nervous tick you’ve always had since middle school.

“Have you ever gone on a date with Atsushi before?”

“E-eh?” You shot your head up to meet his accessing eyes, which, you noted, were filled with utter amusement dancing behind his pupils. “Well… we were planning to go out tomorrow on Saturday.”

“Is that so?” Himuro said, tilting his head, his bangs following the motion. He suddenly shot his head up as he made a sound, indicating that he remembered something.

“Ah, how rude of me—we’re still here at the doorway. Feel free to make yourself at home here. There’s some snacks on the table if you’re hungry, (y/n)-san.” Himuro gently guides you to the dining room, but all you could do was stiffly plop onto one of the seats at the edge of the polished table.

“Why are we… um, here? Where’s Atsushi?” you finally mustered up the courage to speak out the most important questions prevalent in your mind.

“Don’t worry about Atsushi,” he reassured. “I simply told him that there were several local food festivals near Akita and that you were there too.”

“B-but I’m not though—”

“That’s the point,” he sighed. “I needed to talk to you, and I know you don’t talk about your relationship out in the open, so that’s why we’re here.”

“That’s…” … so many leaps of logic.

Leave it to Himuro Tatsuya for his outrageousness sometimes.

“Er, what is it you need from me, Himuro-san?”

“Just wanted to check up on you guys since it’s been almost a month since you guys became an item.” Himuro pushes the bowl of snacks from the center of the table to within hand’s reach. You note the tacky colors of the packaging of umaibo sticks, Murasakibara’s favorite, and you let out a tiny smile. Typical.

Himuro doesn’t fail to catch your change in facial expression. “I guess from that face you’re making, it looks like everything��s going well. I guess I didn’t have to worry so much after all.”

“Wh-what?” you said, breaking out of your short daydreaming. “How s-so?”

“You know how Atsushi is,” he sighed. “He’s not honest with himself and he’s not the best at talking, and personality types like yours would normally annoy him, let alone actually getting him to listen to them seriously.”

“Well, lately he’s been considerate of me,” you bashfully said, averting your eyes. “We can just, um, understand each other without talking much… but thank you for looking out for us both.”

“You said you were going on a date tomorrow? Where to, if I may ask?”

“D-d-date…” you turned cherry-red at the thought of hanging out with your boyfriend outside of a school setting for the first time. “Well, um, nothing big… we’re just um…” You paused.

“(Y/n)-san?”

“Um… going to all the local groceries and supermarkets for f-free samples.” Himuro, who had been patiently waiting for your answer with his head on his propped arm on the table, doubles over in surprise.

“Seriously? You’re not going to a café or walk around in the shopping district? Not even a park?”

“W-waahh!” You firmly shook your head “no” repeatedly as you brought up your hands to wave side to side to emphasize your point in front of Himuro. “N-no way!—there’s too many people there that are always staring because of Atsushi’s height, so…”

“Ah.”

“Besides,” you started. “He finds it annoying to deal with people too, and he wants free food, so I feel like… he’d be happy if we go for these samples tomorrow… there’s less people overall, too.”

“Let me guess,” Himuro slightly smirks. “You’re going tomorrow with super casual clothes.”

“Y-yeah, um, is there something wrong?—um, Himuro, you have a… very scary look… socanipleaseleavenow?—WAH!”

———

How did you get yourself here?

You were all dolled up and dressed up today as per Himuro’s insistence.

Yesterday evening, he dragged you again out of his house to do literal last-minute shopping for your date. You kept telling him that it wasn’t such a big deal, but you couldn’t fight back against the mischievous glint he had in his eyes. You knew that he wanted Murasakibara to have a reaction when he sees you, and deep down, you were giddy at the thought of seeing Murasakibara in your new clothes too.

But still, that cunning bastard.

As soon as the two of you returned back to his house with the bag of the purchases, Himuro swiftly pushed you to the bushes in an attempt to hide you when he saw Murasakibara stomping his way.

“Muro-chin! Chibi-chin wasn’t there at all!” he huffed.

“Ah, but I thought I saw her,” Himuro feigned, tapping a finger to his chin. “I think she probably went home, after all.”

“Tch.”

After that ordeal, Himuro finally insisted to walk you safely home and MILDLY threatened you to wear the hand-picked clothes for tomorrow. You didn’t have the voice to object at all this entire evening, but you knew Himuro only wanted the best for you.

You sighed as you tried to smooth out nonexistent wrinkles for the seventh time out of nervousness. You’re just going to some supermarkets, right? There’s nothing to be scared of. Not at all. You shop for groceries every week, so it’s not like you’re going on this date completely blind.

You fiddled with the strands of your hair, twisting and pulling it down to busy your hands. You probably ruined the hairdo you painstakingly spent an hour on, and your nervous sweating probably completely drenched you like a soaked rat. That’s what you imagined anyways.

“Chibi-chin?” At the sound of his lazy voice, you whirled around to see a cozily-dressed giant of your boyfriend. But you immediately stopped in your tracks out of self-consciousness when you saw how Murasakibara’s eyes widened completely at the sight of you. Both of you looked like deer caught in headlights. “... what are you wearing?”

“U-ummm…” you stammered. “Uh, um, we’re… on a date, r-right?!”

“Hnn,” was all he said, but from the way he pouted his lips and flickered his gaze from your figure to the side constantly, you knew he liked what he saw. His hands were jammed into his pockets, and he just stood there dumbly like a street pole while his eyes kept stealing glances at you.

This was so embarrassing, you were going to die from all the flush in your face from the curious glances from bypassers and the shy stares from Murasakibara. All you could do was stare at the floor, hoping you could disappear and teleport back to your house to change.

“Ah!...” You felt a heavy weight draped over your back as a shadow loomed over. You looked up to see Murasakibara, frowning with equally red cheeks. You turned to look at what was on your shoulders. “Is that… your jacket, Atsushi? D-did you not lik—”

He doesn’t give you time to finish because he’s tugging you along with his ginormous hand, while you were tailing behind, careful not to trip on your new shoes and not to let his jacket fall off of your body.

“... I don’t like it when other people see you like this.” You can only imagine the most adorable pout he had on his face based on the sulkiness you heard from his voice when you stare at his back.

“D-do you want me to dress like this again?”

“Hnn.”

You knew that he meant, “yes, but only for me.”

———

“Atsushi,” you tugged on his sleeve, pointing to a sample stand. “They’re giving away red-bean mochi…”

“Okay~” he drawled, always making sure that your hand was linked with his as he tugs you closer to the food.

Honestly, while your attire with Murasakibara’s absurdly huge jacket attracted way more attention than if you just took off his jacket in the first place, you felt like you were protected in a haven. You don’t know if it’s because of the oversized coziness or his scent, but all you know is that you don’t feel as overwhelmed as you normally do when you’re in large crowds. Still, Murasakibara does most of the talking for you.

“Would you like to try a sample?”

“Yup… one for Chibi-chin too.”

“Wow~ you two are a couple? You guys look so sweet together!”

“A-ah, um,” you timidly spoke out. “Th-thank yo—wha?!” Murasakibara was already tugging you away, with his other hand holding both of your samples.

“You don’t have to talk if it’s bothersome.” He looks over his back to you. “Let’s eat here.”

“Thank you, Atsushi,” you said, gently smiling at his roundabout kindness. “I’ll take this mochi.”

A giant kid and a kid half his size eating powdered flour desserts in the corner of a supermarket doesn’t sound remotely romantic on paper, but for you, it was more than enough to give you fuzzy butterflies.

“Oh, Chibi-chin,” Murasakibara called out to you. He leans down to the level of your face.

“A-ah, wh-what is it—?”

He gives you a gentle kiss before he licks off the white flour besides your open lips, all while maintaining eye contact. It only takes a few seconds for the entire moment to register in your head.

“Wh-wh-wha-what are you doing?!”

You push at his cheeks and softly beat at his chest in embarrassment in a poor attempt to gain physical distance, and Murasakibara happily smirks at your feeble efforts.

“I kissed you, obviously.”

“Sh-shhhhhh! Not so loud!” You try to muffle his mouth, but you only feel his lips curve into a wider smile at your flustering. He easily swats your hands away before he gently grips them together with his own.

“Chibi-chin, that’s so cute,” he said, with full intentions to get you embarrassed even more as he stares intently at your face.

“C-can you not?” was all you dumbly said as you tried to look anywhere but his face. As cute as you were, Murasakibara wanted your eyes on him at all times. So what does he do? He pecks your lips again.

“H-hey!! What did I just… say… um…” You hastily looked around your surroundings again.

“No one’s looking though.”

“That… that doesn’t mean you should do it out of nowhere!”

“But you’re the best free sample I’ve ever tasted.”

“Wh-wh-wh-what?!”

Murasakibara might’ve hated people like you in the past, but now, he finds utter joy in getting you absolutely flustered because of him, and him only. He can’t help that you’re too sweet for him to resist, after all.

#ask #anon #knb #knb fics #knb scenarios #murasakibara atsushi #murasakibara #murasakibara x reader #murasakibara atsushi x reader #himuro tatsuya #knb fluff #kuroko no basket

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meimae · 3 years

Text

Look at me, not being on time for my April Immersion Overview as is the usual. (・w・;

First, little blog updates to get out of the way:

I reached 100 followers! Got an influx of people checking out my 1 year update post, and got plenty of nice compliments on my data collection.

For those of you wondering just why I keep up with so much data, it's mostly because it can get really hard to notice how much you're improving in a language especially with something like immersion learning that for people who don't get it feels like a waste of time or a time sink.

Graphs showing consistency, improvement in reading speed, increasing vocabulary counts, and generally just seeing numbers grow turns language learning more fun and motivating for me, and if as a bonus, it encourages someone to try immersion learning then that would be cool!

With that said, whether you're here as a fellow language learner, graphs enthusiast (笑), or just want some Japanese media recommendations, ようこそ!

Also, made a tiny DP change - it’s チト from 少女週末旅行. Pretty sure it’s the first manga series I ever finished in Japanese (not the first one I started since ちはやふる is still ongoing), and I always felt a bit of a ☆connection☆ with her - between her book-loving personality and being a no-nonsense kind of person, there was no way for me not to enjoy her character. Great beginner anime/manga if you’re not into most beginner recommendations.

-☆-

April has been a pretty good immersion month, as I was able to dip my toes in a variety of media. A bit competitive, too! The club I joined has been pulling all the stops to get to the Top 20 Immersion Leaderboard in it’s first month. I was able to snag the 9th spot among a bunch of people of different comprehension levels (the majority being N1+ since they’re able to comprehend much more and in turn stand longer immersion hours). Lots of tiny complaints though of potential “whitenoising” content (”listening” and “reading” but not comprehending very well just to get a large number to post), but really what can you do? People lie all the time on the internet. Besides, it’s internet points that doesn’t do anything beyond being a little shiny I guess.

Enough about that, let’s get into the nitty-gritty details you came here for!

ANIME

フルーツバスケット

Might need to rewatch this one. Felt like I didn’t connect with the characters the way the rest of its fandom has. I’m kinda sad about it, since I normally love Slice of Life and Fantasy, and I know this is one of my friend’s diehard shows.

ラブライブ! School Idol Project S2

A filler anime to watch tbh. Nice and easy enough to follow for beginners. Pretty good songs. With regards to it being a show about music and moe, I still 100% prefer K-On! if I’m going to be honest, but for a show about non-toxic idols, it’s good!

魔法少女まどか☆マギカ

First read this as English translated manga when I was 13 or something. Mistakes were made. Let’s all just agree to throw キュウベえ into a pit of fire and never talk about it again. Great ending and a show that really reworked the magical girl genre. But seriously, I was traumatized by マミ’s death then and now, help.

四月は君の嘘

Already knew what was going to happen even before watching this so I didn’t ugly cry like I was expecting. Still got that awful sinking feeling though. 10/10 would recommend for a good cry. Also, I’m planning to read the manga, might enjoy that more, because I’ve always liked it more than anime actually. *shocked pikachu face*

ホリミヤ

Watched before I even finished the manga which felt like a mistake at first until I realized that it perfectly stops where I stopped reading. Nice and comfy anime, the kind I would have loved as a teen. Fun animation too, making parts very dramatic even though it wasn’t really that deep of an issue even in the manga. Just teens feeling feelings. Still salty that we lose bad boy styled 宮村, but I get why it had to happen.

AUDIOBOOKS

氷菓

Second re-listen. I understand it fine, but it’s very easy to drift off when you can’t catch all the words so I had to replay often. Will have to mine more from the anime/book.

君の名は

I mined from the anime, and was really pleased to be able to follow all 6 hours of this audiobook perfectly fine. Will need to read the book, because I realized just how seamless reading it would be after listening to it with hardly any issue.

BOOKS

キッチェン

Completed! Read my thoughts about it and see my stats on this post.

君の膵臓を食べたい

Still trudging on with this one. It’s not a bad story, it’s pretty well written actually, I just made the mistake of watching both the anime and live adaptation first, so I know exactly what’s going to happen and it’s killing my motivation to keep reading. I guess reading the book first before watching the movie still applies in any language with me. Really need to 頑張れ and finish so I can move on.

三日間の幸福

Started reading towards the end of the month, mostly because I realized that every chapter is only 5000-15000 characters long, and I was able to read up to 40k in a day with Island most days. Only two chapters read so far though because I got distracted by manga, but it’s shaping up to be a really good plot and potentially a really sad one, too, so I’m interested.

DRAMA

花ざかりの君たちへイケメンパラダイス

Heard this was a classic so I gave it a try. Loved 生田斗真’s character in this one the most especially all his internal dialogue acted out. Also, 小栗旬 in anything is bound to be a good watch. Simple and fun watch. They dragged the ending so much though lmao

ごくせん

Look, I see 松本潤, I click. Definitely the kind of show you should watch for some great life advice. Planning to watch the 2nd and 3rd seasons even if there is a terrible lack of 松本潤, because I love my strong female protagonists, and man, ヤンクミ is such a great character. Need to read the manga, too, if I can find it.

極主夫道

Oof, this was kind of hard. The yakuza talk was throwing me off, but the rest of it was enjoyable. Not really plot heavy as I thought it was going to be. The comedy side of it was fun and predictable after the first few episodes. Overall, pretty good slice of life, family story with a twist.

MANGA

Read a bunch of manga this month, mostly because I am struggling to find the next vn to read.

おやすみプンプン

Read a couple of volumes (6-7). This manga is so good, but it’s so depressing I need to stop to take a breather every once in a while. Please don’t leave any spoilers. The club has been reacting to me reading this, and it has mostly been a lot of crying emotes. It’s both been enjoyable to see and really worrying. 笑

チェンソーマン

Club recommendation. Only read the 1st volume so far. I really need to get into more 少年 anime/manga. That’s currently my 苦手 genre which is awful because literally all the top anime/manga is 少年 help. I just can’t enjoy it much still even though it’s comprehensible to me.

ちはやふる中学生編

Read Vol. 1, chill read to me at this point after reading 45 volumes of the regular manga. Look, it’s my favorite 幼馴染 manga in baby format, of course I’m going to read this! 太一 has been a flake way before season 3 confirmed. Don’t come at me たいちはや stans bc I also like his character.

約束のネバーランド

Volume 7. I’m taking my sweet time with this one, because I heard the anime for season 2 sucked, so I’m avoiding it like the plague. This is 少年 how am I enjoying this and not everything else what.

ヲタクに恋は難しい

Enjoyed the anime hated the movie why did they make it a musical that sucked (ps i normally love musicals hated this one)

The オタク jargon is kinda hard to read suprisingly but I do enjoy this ship very much. It’s a lighthearted take to otaku culture which is great because seriously it’s scary out there.

ツバサ -RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE-

It’s my childhood ship, obviously I will read this again (read in English several years ago). Still as plot twisty as I remember it being (now at a bonus hard level reading it in Japanese 笑). Really enjoyed reading this one (I finished it this May).

-☆-

I’m starting to really dislike furigana in manga. It was a great help as a beginner, but now it’s like training wheels that you can’t take off. I feel like the gains I’m getting from manga is much lower than it was when I first started which makes me both proud of how far I’ve come, but also sad because I love manga. Sad that I might have to start choose VNs over it, because it’s not going to challenge me as much going forward. I mean it didn’t stop me from reading a lot of it this month, but you get the picture.

VISUAL NOVELS

ISLAND

Completed! See my stats and read my long spoiler filled post here.

ファタモルガーナの館

Picked up this VN and finished two doors (15 hours) before stopping. On the fence about it, because it has been kind of predictable so far, and I don’t particularly enjoy the horror genre. That said, this is more psychological than anything, so it’s probably not that that’s putting me off. The language is not exactly difficult, too - maybe some oddly specific words because it is after all historical fiction (which is one of my favorite genres, btw), and 敬語 is definitely interesting to read for once after encountering so many お嬢様 characters in anime/drama so far.

I think maybe it’s the conversations that are kind of dull - dots (silence) every few clicks that keeps breaking the flow of reading. Probably judging it really harshly too early, because it’s rated so high everywhere, and I just have high expectations. Definitely not dropping it yet though, just taking a break and testing a couple of other VNs before I settle with whatever I end up choosing. It is, after all, going to be another 50+ hour read, and I just don’t want to not enjoy the process, because having fun with the process is a huge part of immersion learning.

Let me know if you’ve read Fata and if I should continue!

-☆-

That’s it for this month!

If you have any suggestions on what to watch and read next, please send me a reply, especially for VNs because I’m struggling over here.

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maria-scribbles · 3 years

Text

shadow skating

y/n kicks off her holiday season in a way she never expected: teaching the king of hawkins high to skate in an endearing attempt to impress a girl. the good news? steve's a surprisingly good student, despite his infamous reputation and terrible balance. the bad news? y/n finds herself falling for him and his stupid hair, even when she knows he'll never be hers. after all, she couldn't possibly be the girl he wants, right?

fandom: stranger things

ship: steve harrington x ice skater!reader

word count: 3.6k+

featuring: swearing, holiday fluff, general cheesiness, steve being a clumsy himbo, gratuitous use of figure skating jargon

a/n: holiday challenge day 1: ice skating. this is my first time publishing anything i’ve written for this fandom so apologies in advance if it’s terrible. as always, unbetaed so all mistakes are my b.

come join my holiday challenge!

December 1984

"You okay?" Y/N's voice echoed through the empty rink as she skated over to the boy sprawled flat on his back, spread-eagled like a snow angel, and it took everything in her not to laugh at the withering glare Steve sent her way when she came to a stop at his side, her toe pick dragging faintly through the ice.

"Just peachy."

"Hey, at least you didn't fall on your face this time," she fired back with a cheeky grin, finally giving into her laughter when he rolled his eyes, muttering "yeah, yeah" under his breath as he took her outstretched hands and let her help him to his wobbly feet. He managed to stand on his own for only a second or two before his arms started flailing and she quickly reached out to steady him once again, her hands wrapped securely around his wrists.

"This is harder than it looks," he said with his own fingers gripping tight to her forearms and Y/N shrugged off that weird feeling she got in her stomach when she felt the warmth of his palms through the thick wool of her sweater.

"Well," she replied, casually starting to skate backwards and pulling Steve along with her, "Those weak ass ankles of yours don't really help, you know."

His laugh rang loud throughout the vacant arena and Y/N's smile grew as she patiently guided him around the ice for a few laps, watching his strides become more and more confident with each left turn.

If someone would've told her she'd be teaching Steve Harrington how to skate, she'd have laughed right in their face. Her, the weird girl who spent way too much time alone at the rink working on her axel, willingly helping him, the king of Hawkins High who had a reputation of only thinking about himself? Fat chance of that.

But there she was, gliding alongside him now as he slowly skated on his own, one hand hovering near his elbow just in case those weak ankles of his decided to give out again and send him into another face plant.

When she agreed to let her neighbor Dustin and his friends come in after closing for a private skate two weeks ago -the rink's owner always let Y/N do whatever she wanted, considering she was both her best employee and customer- she had no idea one of those friends was the infamous teenager himself. Seeing his car roll up that night, Dustin waving enthusiastically from the passenger seat and the others crammed in the back like sardines, instead of Mrs. Henderson's mini van had thrown her for a loop, one that took her an embarrassingly long time to recover from as she let them in through the back door and slipped behind the counter to pass out pairs of skates.

It wasn't until he was standing in front of her asking for a size ten did she look up to acknowledge his presence, instantly noticing the small, almost shy grin he offered her that she awkwardly returned. The two weren't quite friends -never had been, really, despite having at least one class together since the fourth grade (not that she was keeping track or anything, no)- but as Y/N laced up her own skates and led the group out onto the ice, she wondered if maybe, just maybe that could ever change. This Steve was so, so different from the one she knew from school: laughing as he and Dustin both instantly fell to the ground in a heap, a real, genuine smile on his face instead of his usual cocky smirk and she found her eyes following him and his clumsy self throughout the evening, her mind racing as she tried to figure out exactly which version of him was the real thing.

The next afternoon had only confused Y/N further when he showed up unannounced at the rink after school and the sound of his sudden enthusiastic cheering when she successfully landed a double Lutz startled her so badly that she lost an edge and fell on her ass right in front of where he stood by the bleachers.

"Holy shit, are you okay?" He was on the ice before she could protest, shuffling along the glass in his tennis shoes until he reached her and offered a hand. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you-"

"It's fine, I'm fine," Embarrassed beyond belief, she waved off both his apology and outstretched hand and hauled herself to her feet, first brushing snow from her leggings and then the blades of her skates, one at a time. "That happens a lot, don't worry."

"Oh," He said, letting his arm return to holding onto the boards in an effort to keep himself upright. "Still, I'm sorry-"

"Seriously, Harrington, it's fine. No worries," She smiled, ignoring the stinging pain in her butt and leaned against the glass next to him. "Why are you here, though?"

It was his turn to look embarrassed as that same semi-shy grin from the night before appeared on his face before he blurted out in a rush, "Can you teach me how to skate?"

Y/N blinked. Of all the things to come out of his mouth, that was definitely not what she expected; to be fair, though, anything he could've possibly said would've been pretty damn unexpected, considering the circumstances. "You want me...to teach you...no offense, Steve, but why?"

He shrugged at her question before glancing around the empty arena and leaning close like he was about to spill a secret. "Would you judge me if I said I was trying to impress a girl?"

That was more like the Steve she knew, she thought as she breathed a quick laugh with the shake of her head. "Only a little bit. This girl, she likes to skate?"

He grinned again, this time wide and pretty damn smitten, and nearly lost his balance when he tried to keep one of his feet from slipping out from underneath him. "She's the best skater I know. You should see her out there, gliding around like a freakin' angel or something."

That was...surprisingly sweet coming from the boy she once thought she had all figured out, sweet and sincere and downright adorable and Y/N found herself nodding without any idea why. "Okay."

"Okay what?"

"I'll teach you, alright? I don't mess around when it comes to skating though, so you better be ready to work your ass off."

The smile he sent her way was so bright it was almost blinding, like sunlight dancing off freshly fallen snow. "You're the best, Y/N. I owe you one."

"You got that right, Harrington." She said, wrapping her hand around his elbow and tugging him toward the door that led off the ice. "Let's go get you some skates, first lesson starts now."

Ten lessons in and despite a few nasty falls and a bad habit of tripping over his toe picks, he wasn't doing that badly; not only was he a surprisingly quick learner and good listener, he took her playful teasing like a champ -to be fair, she did tell him she dished out tough love when she taught so he knew that was part of the deal- and threw it right back without a second thought. Never before had she felt so...at ease around someone who wasn't her sister and it was both exhilarating and just a bit scary.

As they finished up their Friday night lesson and stepped out of the rink into the biting wind, Y/N found herself wishing for Monday because the idea of parting ways for the weekend rested heavy on her heart like the big, fat snowflakes that were falling from the dark sky. Becoming friends with Steve was something she never expected -making friends was never an easy thing for her to do- and yet slowly, surely it had happened, and she realized that she would stop the world from spinning if it meant she could spend just a little more time with him. When he lingered by his car, twirling his keys around his finger as white started to dot his stupid, wonderful hair, she hoped he was thinking the same thing.

"So..." She spoke first and broke the comfortable silence that had settled over the parking lot like the falling snow. "I was wondering if you could maybe give me a ride? My car's in the shop and I really don't feel like walking home in this."

"I do owe you," He grinned at the disdained wrinkle in her nose and unlocked the car, climbing inside without a word before reaching over to push open the passenger side door. "Get in, we're getting fries first."

She smiled widely, cheeks stinging from the cold and hope bursting in her chest like New Year's Eve fireworks. "You're buying."

That's how they ended up in a corner booth of the local diner, sharing a basket of fries and sipping on milkshakes despite the snow blowing outside the window.

"Honestly, you're doing pretty well for someone with such weak ankles," Y/N laughed as Steve rolled his eyes and dunked a fry in his shake with more force than necessary.

"You're never gonna let me forget that, are you?"

"Nope." She popped the 'p' of her breezy answer before plucking the cherry from the towering mound of whipped cream on the top of her drink. "Just like you won't let me forget that time I fell on my ass after you scared me and then had the audacity to ask for lessons!"

"Hey, you," He pointed a fry in her direction and laughed when she instantly ripped half of it out of his hand and lobbed it at his chest, "had the audacity to agree to them!"

Y/N pressed her lips together in an effort to keep a straight face as she joked, "You know what? I take back what I said, you haven't improved at all. You're a fucking skating disaster, Harrington."

The gleam in his eyes reminded her of the Christmas lights strung up above their heads, sparkling and bright and full of something that filled her whole body with a lovely warmth she never wanted to lose. "Well, Y/N, hate to break it to you but me sucking just proves you're not that good of a teacher."

"How dare you," She gasped in mock offense and lightly kicked him in the shin, the last of her composure dissolving completely when he fell back against the cracked vinyl seat like he'd been shot. "Good luck impressing your mystery girl without me."

If all her focus wasn't already on the boy sitting across from her, she would've missed the way his grin faltered for just a moment as he turned away to look out the window. Her brow furrowed at that, as well as the sudden bitter taste in her mouth at the mention of the girl he was trying to impress, the girl whose identity was still unknown to her and at this point, she wasn't quite sure if she even wanted to find out.

"Steve?" Her hand moved on its own to lightly touch his wrist, the warmth of his skin bleeding into her cold fingers. "You okay?"

"Why did you do it?"

"Huh?"

"Why did you agree to teach me how to skate? And for nothing, even." He gazed at her over the tall malt glass in front of him, brown eyes searching hers until she looked away, down at her hand still resting on his beside their shared fries as her cheeks started to flood with heat.

She'd been asking herself that question for two weeks now, since this whole thing started at the beginning of December. Two weeks later, with only eight days left before Christmas, she was starting to think she might have an idea why; too bad she was too scared to even admit to to herself, let alone say it out loud.

"I don't know." She answered after a too-long pause in which she pulled her hand back to her lap -with her eyes still cast down at her melting shake, she missed the disappointed look on his face at the loss of her touch- and shrugged her sweater-clad shoulders. "I love skating, okay? It's my favorite thing to do in the world but, honestly, it gets kind of lonely being out on the ice all by yourself. I...I guess I just couldn't pass up an opportunity to share it with someone else...and um, not be alone for once. You can't put a price on that."

When he didn't reply, she glanced up from watching a bead of condensation roll down the stem of her glass only to find him still looking at her, the corner of his mouth turned up in that same soft smile she'd fooled herself into thinking was just for her.

"Even if that someone is me, Y/N?"

She smiled back and bumped her boot against his sneaker under the table. "Even if that someone is you, Steve. You're not as bad as that reputation of yours makes you seem."

A comfortable silence fell over the two teens as they went back to their food, the diner around them becoming busier and busier the later the night went on. Someone switched the radio to a Christmas station and in between bites of fries Y/N softly sang along to Wham!'s Last Christmas, an ear worm of a song that'd been stuck in her head ever since it was released at the beginning of the month.

"This year, to save me from tears, I'll give it to someone special."

"Have you ever been afraid of not being good enough for someone?" Steve asked suddenly, causing the girl to look away from the snow still falling steadily outside the window.

"More times than I'd care to admit," She answered honestly, finishing her milkshake and pushing the empty glass to the side. "Why? Is this about your mystery girl?"

"I think I'm realizing that she's way, way out of my league. Like, she's a pro in the MLB and I'm...playing tee ball with five-year-olds." He said as he dragged a fry through the glob of ketchup on his plate, back and forth, over and over until Y/N once again reached across the table to put her hand on his.

"Listen to me and listen good 'cause I'm only gonna say this once," She said quietly, just loud enough for him to hear over the noise of the diner. "If this girl doesn't see how absolutely wonderful you are, she is -and I'm saying this from the very bottom of my heart so you know it's true- a total fucking dumbass. Got it?"

That whooshing feeling in her stomach came flooding back at the sight of the bright blush slowly spreading across his face at her words and as his pinky moved to link with hers, one crazy, impossible thought popped into her head: she'd do anything, absolutely anything to stay in that moment forever.

But that's the sad thing about fleeting, promising moments: eventually, no matter how hard you try, they still come to an end. With their fries gone and milkshake glasses empty, they had no reason to stay and so they ventured back out into the cold night, walking closer than they ever had before to Steve's car. It wasn't until he pulled into her driveway did he speak, turning to face her in the passenger seat and breaking the warm, comforting silence that had wrapped around them like a blanket on the short drive from the diner.

"Thank you."

Y/N quirked an eyebrow. "For what?”

"Everything. Teaching me, what you said back there...being my friend." He said simply and she felt her heart skip a beat when that smile of his appeared on his face and lit up the whole car.

"I should be thanking you," She replied, picking at a loose thread dangling from the sleeve of her coat. "I don't have many friends but I'm really, really happy you're one of them."

"Me, too."

She smiled softly and reluctantly reached down to grab her bag from the floor. "I'd better get inside before my grandpa sends out a search party. Thanks for tonight, I, um, I had a lot of fun."

"So did I, even after you ever so rudely threw that fry at me."

"You deserved it." She said in a sing-song voice as she opened the car door and placed one foot on the snowy ground outside. "I'll see you Mon-"

"Wait." It was his turn to touch her hand, his larger palm folding over hers and stopping her from leaving. "Would you want to do it again sometime? Maybe over Christmas break?"

She hoped all the effort she was putting into keeping her cool was paying off as the butterflies exploded in her stomach at his words. "I'd like that."

He squeezed her hand once before letting go and sending her off with a bright grin. "Goodnight, Y/N."

"Goodnight, Steve."

He waited until she disappeared into the house before driving off into the night and she watched him go through the living room window, falling back onto the couch with a giddy smile after his car turned the corner.

The next morning found Y/N alone at the quiet rink, the only sound coming from her blades smoothly cutting through the ice as she skated through her practice routine; triple toe loop, Biellmann spin, double Salchow. It was methodical and soothing, her body running through the maneuvers it knew by heart while her mind thought ahead to the one move that she'd never been able to successfully land: the double Axel. Today was her day, she could feel it and no matter how many tries it took -she'd already bit it twice- she was going to land that jump.

Approaching the move head on, she picked up speed until she was flying across the ice, cold wind whipping through her hair and stinging her cheeks; she bent her left knee, lifted her right foot, and leaped from her left outside edge before spinning two and a half times and landing, albeit a bit shakily, on the outside edge of her right.

"Yes! Holy shit!" The girl's shouts echoed throughout the arena as she spun to a stop, excitedly punching her fist in the air, and she was so caught up in celebrating that she didn't notice when the door opened and someone stepped out onto the ice with her.

"I have no idea what that was but it looked impressive and scary as all hell."

Y/N spun around to face the owner of the sudden, familiar voice and couldn't keep herself from smiling when she noticed no trace of unsteadiness in Steve's skating as he slowly came to a stop at her side. "It's called a double Axel. What are you doing here?"

"Well," He said, cheeks flushed not just from the cold, taking another step closer until his skates bumped against hers, "last night I realized I didn't do something I really wanted to, so I came to fix it."

"And what was it?" Her voice was breathless and full of unbridled hope as she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "The thing you didn't do?"

"This."

And with that he cupped her face in both hands and leaned down to press his lips to hers. Y/N responded immediately, kissing him back with everything she had and then some, like she'd wanted to do ever since that first night. That first night when she started to see him for who he really was, not the reputation given to him by their classmates. Ever since that next day when he accidentally scared her and then asked for lessons so he could impress a girl -shit, mystery girl.

Her hands, having found their way to his chest, gently pushed him back at the thought that popped into her head and the loss of his warm touch made her shiver; opening her eyes, she found him looking stricken a foot away, an apology written on his face clear as day.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"No, no! It's not that," She said in a rush, skating forward and all but crashing into him in a desperate attempt to keep him near, to keep that euphoric, heavenly feeling being close to him brought her. "That...that was, shit, that was perfect, okay? But what about her?"

"Her?" His hands gripped her waist as hers settled on his chest once again, gloved fingers curling in the soft cotton of his green sweater. "Who's 'her'?"

"Your mystery girl, the skater!"

The look on Steve's face was the perfect mix of exasperation and affection and she felt her cheeks burn as he replied, "Y/N, it's you. It's always been you."

Oh. Oh. Holy hell, she must be the dumbest bitch on God's green earth. This whole time, it wasn't just wishful thinking: every lingering stare, every lasting touch, every time he smiled that soft smile, they were all real and she could finally say, with certainty, that they were just for her, like she'd always hoped they'd been.

All she could think about now was kissing him again so she tugged him down to her level, fully intent on picking up where they left off and she'd almost reached his lips before he slipped and sent them both tumbling to the ice in a tangle of limbs.

"Maybe I still need more lessons after all," He said, propping himself up on his elbow and smiling down at the laughing girl lying beneath him.

"Hey, I finally thought of something you can do to pay me back!"

The ice was cold through her leggings but she didn't even notice as she slid her fingers into his hair and pulled him down so they were barely an inch apart.

"Yeah?"

"Kiss me."

tagging some moots who might be interested ❤: @sinkbeneathwaves @cordeliascrown @alexa-playafricabytoto @perkeusjackson @chrlsgillespie

#obxmermaidholiday #stranger things imagine #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington imagine #stranger things fic

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krreader · 4 years

Text

BTS reacting to their child finding out about their career.

pairing: bts x reader fandom: bts warnings: language genre: fluff ; crack word count: 1.4k+

a/n: aaaah I loved this request, I really hope you like it love ♥

kim seokjin

“Yah, why are you looking at me like that? You're too much like your mother, seriously,” Jin shook his head.

Your daughter had been watching him ever since you had all sat down for dinner, you not even realizing it because you were so busy feeding your baby boy next to you.

“People have always told me that I'm pretty, you know? Too pretty.”

“Too pretty?” you furrowed your eyebrows, “What does that even mean?”

“It means that I finally found out why. You're an idol! I'm the daughter of a celebrity! They showed me pictures and video clips at school today and you were singing and dancing and modeling and..- and you never told me!”

You looked at your husband and shrugged, giving him that: 'I told you so' look.

You had told him from the beginning that he should have told her because in this day and age she would find out eventually anyway and better from him and you than from anyone else.

But Jin had a pretty good comeback, “I used to be an idol. I used to be very famous and I used to have a lot of fans. But I left all that behind.”

“Why? Why would you leave all that?”

Jin leaned back, then he looked at you with a smile, “Because I met your mother.”

And even though you've been married for more than five years now, you still felt your cheeks heat up.

min yoongi

“He's angry at you,” you said as your husband came into the house, you still reading your book, “You want to know why? Because someone in school told him who you were today. A random kid in school came up to him and said: aren't you Suga's son?”

“Ah, fuck,” Yoongi took off his shoes and jacket, “Where is he?”

“His room, I assume. I haven't seen him since he came home.”

And so Yoongi made his way upstairs and found his son sitting in front of the computer, watching his father's old performances.

“Why did you never tell me, dad?”

“I wanted to.. I just never knew when the right time was,” Yoongi sat down on his son's bed, “I can tell you now, if you want to know.”

His son thought about pouting for a while longer, but curiosity got the better of him and he joined his father on his bed, grabbing a pillow and holding it close, “I want to know what it was like.. having all those fans!”

And you had to bring the two their food upstairs because of how long they talked.. but maybe that was long overdue.

jung hoseok

You had told Hoseok that he needed to tell your daughter about his career eventually, but he never did.

And now she came back from her first day of school and.. guess what?

“YOU USED TO BE AN IDOL?!” was the first thing she screamed when she entered the house, her way too big backpack still on and marching into the living room with her shoes only half off, “The moment I sat down in the bus, kids started to take pictures of me! IT SUCKED!”

Neither of you said anything, then you let out a sigh and patted Hoseok's leg, “You're on your own here. Good luck. I'm out to have lunch with Taehyung's wife.”

“No, wait, what do you..- (Y/N)!”

And so he was left with a very angry looking child, “Okay, okay.. sit down. I'll tell you everything.”

He always thought that his daughter might be more like him but.. today proved she was her mother's daughter.

Scary, sometimes.

kim namjoon

“Hey, baby girl.. I wanted to..- Dara?” Namjoon furrowed his eyebrows.

His daughter usually always said hello before sprinting upstairs, but today she just threw her backpack and shoes down and ran upstairs..

..only to come back down a few seconds later with a laptop.

“What are you doing?” you asked, balancing your newborn daughter in your arms.

“Shht. I need to concentrate.”

She stuck out her tongue, making both you and Namjoon smirk at how cute she looked trying to type whatever she wanted to type.

But the moment that a BTS song started playing you both frowned.

“Yeah.. that's right. I know! Why didn't I know before, huh?!”

“I wanted to tell you when you were a little older.. but.. I should have suspected you to be too smart.”

“Duh. So tell me now. Every little detail.”

It's not like he had much of a choice.

park jimin

“Dad? Can I ask you something?” his son seemed very shy all of a sudden. So shy that you and Jimin must have immediately thought he would now ask his first question related to sex.. despite only having just started school.

“Sure,” Jimin stammered.

“There were some kids at school today who stared at me for a very long time.. and they.. asked me about you a lot,” he bit down on his lip, then cocked his head to the side, “They said their mothers were big fans of you.”

“Ah.. yeah, that.”

“You were an idol once, weren't you?”

“I was,” he admitted, smiling a little, “And I was quite famous, you know?”

“Understatement of the century,” you snorted, “Your father was a legend.”

“Was?” Jimin narrowed his eyes at you.

Your son leaned forward a little, his eyes shining a little brighter now, “Can you tell me about it all? I'd love to know.”

“How about this.. you eat up, then I'll get ice cream and we'll build a pillow fort and then I'll tell you everything. Just you and me!”

Ever since his baby sister was born, he and Jimin haven't had a lot of alone time. So that was a win-win situation that made the young boy eat up as quickly as he could.

kim taehyung

“Dad, dad, dad, dad, dad,” your son sprinted into the house and bumped into you on the way, but didn't even really realize it, “You need to help me!”

“What? What's going on?!” Taehyung was on his feet in an instant, but his son shook his head.

“No, not like that! I have a girl problem. Well technically it's not a problem, because you're the solution!” he grinned from ear to ear, that same boxy smile that he inherited from his father.

'Girl problem' made you enter the living room and watch the scene with crossed arms.

He was.. a little young for that, wasn’t he?

“What?” Taehyung furrowed his eyebrows.

“I really like this girl, but there's another guy that also likes her, but I have better chances with her because she likes your old music so I'm going to get an autograph from you and give it to her and then she'll like me back!”

Both Taehyung and you stared at him for a moment, then you were the first to ask, “You.. know about what your father used to do?”

“Well, I found out today, but that's not the point. Can I get the autograph?”

Wow.. that guy was shameless.

You looked at your toddler daughter playing with her barbies on the floor, looking up at you with her pacifier in her mouth and her beautiful big eyes, smiling, before saying: “I'm so glad I have you, you have no idea.”

jeon jeongguk

“You're really quiet.. is everything okay?” Jeongguk looked at his son through the rear-view mirror.

“Yeah.. I just feel really betrayed.”

“Betrayed?” you repeated quietly and looked at your husband, “How does he even know that word?”

He needed to spend less time with uncle Namjoon.

“Why?”

“Oh, you know.. I just found out that my dad used to be really really famous from one of my teachers. DO YOU KNOW HOW EMBARRASSING THAT WAS?!” his loud voice made both of you jump in your seats, “She calls every student and then she calls my name and suddenly says: “My.. your Jungkook's son. I loved your father's music, I hope he is doing well.” AND THEN EVERYONE STARTED LOOKING AT ME! Now I'm the weird kid with the famous father!”

You pursued your lips and tried really hard not to laugh, just because it was really cute how he acted right now.

But what Jeongguk said next made you frown, “Ah, that's okay, I'll just talk with your teacher and tell her not to do that anymore, I'm quite good with my fans.”

And when he wiggled his eyebrows at his son, you immediately hit his arm, “Stop this!”

“You better, dad! And you better show up there and show them that you're cool or I swear I'm going to tell uncle Namjoon that you were the one that stole his doughnuts the last time we were at his place!”

Oh, that little shit.

#bts imagine #bts reactions #bts x reader #bts #bangtan #bangtan reaction #bangtan boys #kpop #kpop imagines #kpop reactions #bangtan sonyeondan #reader #bangtan x reader #bangtan boys x reader #requests

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pluviophile-bookworm · 3 years

Text

HSMTMTS 2x9: so dreaded, so exciting, 'Sword!' (yeah, I went there, I've been thinking about this scene - you know the one - since yesterday for some reason)

After two computer malfunctions and a very tough, very sleepless night, here I am with a third attempt to write this post. The universe is against me today. Is Mercury in retrograde or something? Ugh, I just want to get this over with already. And I haven't even managed to see half the episode yet. You better like this cursed post because it's taken me two hours at this point, and will probably take another to finish - and that is if nothing goes wrong this time. Please bear with me. This is my reaction to HSMTMTS 2x9, take 3. Let's hope and pray it's the last one.

I'm normally [unpopular opinion alert] a very spoiler-positive person (it's the combination of anxiety and ADHD and a bunch of other stuff, I suppose), but for this one I've been refraining from looking at the tag all morning, so by now I'm simply bursting with impatience. But before we dive in, I need to get some stuff off my chest.

Some pre-watch thoughts and feelings (let's see how well they will have aged by the end of the episode):

Seriously, what is with whoever writes this show? I know it's impossible, but I feel like they've been toying with my emotions specifically all season. Like:

Ah, so you were a Rini shipper last season? Great, now we'll make them obnoxious and borderline toxic to the point where you actually want them to break up, but then their old chemistry will be back just for the breakup scene so that you can cry your eyes out over the one couple you couldn't stand - even though you can't seem to relate to a single song from Sour, we'll make you feel like you do for a hot second. At least it will remind you that you loved Ricky.

So you say Redlyn own your heart and soul? Great, we'll make you dread something going wrong with them for a week straight, and mess up your sleep schedule beyond repair over it. You're welcome!

We heard you said Rodfini give you life? Perfect, how about a big Seblos fight? And would you like a side of questioning your choice to stan Carlos with that? Because what is life without a little anxiety, a bit of doubt of your ability to read people, and a pinch of existential dread, right?

Ah, so you claimed not to ship Portwell romantically, is that right? Brilliant, we'll make you ship them and then we'll use that to torture you, too.

You've been excited about ABF and Asher Angel guest-starring ever since they were announced? Magnificent! We'll make you hate ABF's character to the point where you can't even look at him, and we'll make you call him names you thought yourself incapable of uttering. And as for Asher, you'll be left waiting for him until the last third of the season, and then you'll dread the possibility of hating his character, too. Do you love us yet?

Oof! Right then, I've got that out of my system. Time to dive in.

Miss Jenn playing around with the backgrounds is, like, 90% of the people who had online school this year, and honestly, I love that for her.

Wait, why is Nini first on this call? Are they going through with the Rose thing? Cos like, the song is nice and all (and, might I add, much more to my taste than nearly all of Sour, don't @ me), but if they use it, it will get them disqualified. They’ve been told that! Gosh, please let me be wrong about this.

We get it, Carlito, rich and fancy and over-the-top is kind of your thing, but have you stopped for a second to think about how others will feel about this? Especially Seb, whom you claim to care about. Seriously, though, I love Carlos and would not hesitate to die for him, but I’m getting the feeling that, unlike my other favourite (you know the one), he wouldn’t do the same for me. Oh well, he’ll figure it out. He’s just a kid. Give him time.

Wait, Milky White? Is that an Into the Woods reference I smell? Cool! If I had a cow, I’d totally name her Milky White (or Gertrude, but don’t ask me why). I just hope they don’t have to, like, take her to the market and exchange her for magic beans, if you catch my drift.

Ahhhhh, Caswell cousins content! We love to see it!

‘You guys are watching, like, old old movies’ WTH, Nini (or is it Nina)? Scary Movie is literally younger than me. But what do you know about it, you 21st-century baby! Ugh, I don’t know why I’m being so hostile today... must be the lack of sleep. Hope it doesn’t influence my reactions to the episode so dramatically as to make me forget how much I love this series. Because I do.

Yay! Big Red is here! I can finally smile. And did Ash just say they’re soulmates? Because yes they are! Ahhh my heart is going to explode.

‘Nini, have you heard from [Ricky]?’ Yikes, awkward... but of course, Big Red can be counted on to save the day here, too.

Ok, so that was a cool cold open. Time for some nice in-person scenes, though. I did not spend all of three semesters doing online school just to have the characters of my favourite series do the same.

Wow, Gina is really embracing that French accent thing! And I really don’t want to think about, erm, ‘Napoleon over here’ right now, but I really think the fact that she’s doing it better than him will be another piece of evidence towards my theory of fake-French!Antoine... ugh, I said his name. Oh well. Back to Gina. Too bad the French thing didn’t work out for her.

Ahhhh, Portwell with Ash in the background! And Ash is going to paint EJ’s nails! I feel like he’s going to end up loving that, despite what he says right now. But seriously, I just love how comfortable these two are with each other. Can you blame me now for shipping them as friends? Well, I mean, it’s obvious they will be more than friends, and somehow, despite the amatonormativity of it all, I’m here for it.

Wait, was that Asher? That was Asher, I’m 100% sure of it. And Gina said ‘a sign’ and then looked at him, even from the back... what am I supposed to think and feel here? I’m confused. Moving on.

Ahh, poor Ricky being a burrito... good thing that breakup scene last time reminded me that I love him, because the entirety of the season before that was very good at making me forget that.

Wait, did she say ‘the Bean’? As in, that Bean? The infamous Bean? LOL.

‘So the only time you two talk to each other is to gossip about me’ Boy, did I feel that. I once got my hands on my dad’s mobile and I... kind of went through his texts with mum. Yep, all about me and my brother. At this point I feel like they’re only together because of us. But this is getting too personal. I’m here about the episode, not to rant about my family. Moving on.

Yikes, looks like Nini’s got writer’s block all over again. Am I supposed to feel sorry for her? Because I kind of don’t. I mean, no hate towards her, none at all, but that entire scene just felt awkward and unnecessary. And not just because it’s her first time going live. That I can understand. What I don’t understand is why the writers can’t seem to do anything creative and interesting with Nini. Olivia is being wasted there. Idk, that’s just how I feel. Again, no hate.

Ahhhhh it’s Asher! And well, he’s not Jonah, but I kind of really like him as Jack. I wonder if that will last.

So is it just me, or is anyone else not quite sure how to feel about Ricky’s mum? I mean, their interactions seem kind of awkward and strained, but that’s how it’s supposed to be given their recent history, and yet something just doesn’t sit quite right with me.

��You there, Muse? It’s me, Nini!’ Ah, so it’s Nini again? I didn’t get the memo. Gosh, this episode is kind of really underwhelming. The most exciting thing so far (but not nearly as exciting in practice as it was in theory) – Asher and Sofia’s on-screen reunion. The second most exciting thing? The thought of Ash painting EJ’s nails. Everything else? Kind of ‘whatever’. Is this what I tossed and turned about all night? Totally not worth it. This episode better get, like, 300% better right this instant. It’s just not worth all the frustration and excitement and dread so far.

Looks like my prayers from just now have been heard! That improv scene was hilarious! Guess it was lucky that Miss Jenn had them do improv before this moment. But I need to know more of Jack’s backstory now.

Ok, so that was awkward! So Kourtney is talking to Howie again, I guess. And I guess I know now what Carlos did that was all public and no subtle. Still, what’s wrong with posting photos from your holiday? Guess I don’t exactly know yet what Carlos did to piss the others off so much.

Great, now I’m tempted to google butterfly faces. Good thing I’m not eating anymore. *** Ughhhhh this was a mistake! Please don’t ever look a butterfly in the face if you want to stay sane. Don’t be like me.

Ahhh the Duke sweater! ‘Is that your boyfriend’s?’ Well, not quite yet, it’s not... *screams in Portwell*

Oh, now we’re talking! But seriously, Ricky? The ‘my friends think’ card? Why don’t you just say ‘I think’? It’s clearly something you’ve thought about a lot. I feel like I’m going to love this scene or cry over it or both.

Ooh, therapy. It’s not just... basically the entire fandom... who says it now. Please tell me that means Ricky will be going to therapy at some point. Says the girl who is currently firmly refusing to go to therapy in favour of hyperfixating on HSMTMTS and getting back into the good old practice of having imaginary friends... yeah, I’m one to talk.

My, my, my! Seb has really had it now. I mean, it was about time, but... not quite like this. My heart is starting to do some weird stuff, I can feel it. I might need to lie down.

Ok, so as much as I envy North High for getting to see so many shows on BWay – basically living out my dream – stalking East High on Instagram and being shady about them taking a well-deserved break... just goes beyond all limits. I mean, if you’re so into Broadway shows, you should know as well as I do what happened the last time a certain founding father did not take a break. Maybe you’re the ones in need of a break here.

Nini on the call with the Caswell cousins, though... ‘I’m obsessed with both of you’ – first relatable thing she’s said or done all season. And EJ playing with old toys is pure gold.

Oh, so Jack’s dad is a pilot. Makes sense, I guess. I’m kind of intrigued by this guy. Just as long as he doesn’t try to come between Portwell before they’ve had the chance to happen, you know...

Ashlyn might need to stop swooning over Nini’s songwriting or Big Red might get jealous... I mean, I would not have pinned him as the jealous type before 2x7, but ever since then... I guess insecure + dating a girl like Ash = the jealous type. And although that looks good on him, I’d bet anything it doesn’t feel particularly pleasant on his side. So... wait, why am I talking about Big Red? He hasn’t even got anything to do with the scene at hand. But then again, there’s been so little Big Red content in this episode that I seem to be trying to make up for it. Still. Stay focused.

Ooh, so Big Red did edit that video! Is there anything my boy can’t do? Ok, now I feel like he’s even more criminally underappreciated than he was before. But let’s look at the video. I’m curious to see the whole thing because that sneak peek from yesterday simply hasn’t been enough.

That was... really, really cool! I love how they took the ‘when they go low, we go high’ line from last time and run with it. Now if only they were putting as much effort into BATB... North High wouldn’t know what hit them.

Hmmmm... I guess Gina and Jack could be what I originally wanted Portwell to be... really cool friends. Unless it’s one of those ‘airport magic’ things. Oh well. It probably is. Was that all we’re seeing of Asher here? I did not wait 2/3 of the season for this. Though it was nice.

Ooh, Ricky’s solo song... why is there more Rini chemistry in this song than there was in all the season? Not counting the breakup scene, of course. Also, I feel like it’s just as much about him and his mum as it is about Nini. Some say music is the best therapy. I think they might be right. And no, I’m not crying. You are.

The granola bar, though... this episode might have been very underwhelming in the first half, but... it delivered in the Portwell front, and the music was *chef’s kiss*, so I’m willing to let it slide that the advertised Seblos ‘big fight’ was not touched upon nearly enough. Maybe next week...

Ok, now that we’re done watching the episode, let’s see how my feelings from the beginning have aged:

The Rini breakup: apparently, along with reminding me that I love Ricky, it has rendered me unable to look at Nini. What’s up with that? If this is some sort of tactic along the lines of ‘Olivia might be leaving the show so we’re making you hate her character so that you won’t miss her’, it’s not really working. Because I don’t want to hate Nini. Believe me, I don’t.

Redlyn: ok, so there’s nothing wrong with them whatsoever - we even got a ‘soulmates’, which I loved - but first they’re being swept under the rug, and then the antis come at us with that ‘their relationship is underdeveloped’ nonsense. Individually, though, I liked them in this episode (even if there was a significant shortage of Big Red), and Ashlyn collaborating with Nini again was cool, but... what I really wanted to see was her painting EJ’s nails. Did she even get the chance to actually do it? Maybe next week.

Seblos: I’m still failing to understand exactly what Seb thinks Carlos did wrong (please enlighten me if you did catch that, I’m kind of slow), but he (Seb) does have reasons to be mad at him (Carlos)... and at other people, too. Still, if you want to have a fight between two people in a relationship, you could do much better than whatever this episode was. Maybe next week. I notice I’m saying that a lot. Guess I’m putting a lot of hopes on 2x10. I just pray it doesn’t disappoint.

Portwell: boy, am I happy that my frustration on this front did not age well! What I mean is, apparently they’ve decided to bless us, not torture us for once. Even a rather disappointing episode like this one had to have some sort of silver lining. And Portwell is it.

Asher as Jack: well, luckily I didn’t hate him, but... it’s kind of the opposite problem. I loved him and now they’re taking him away from me. Guess I just can’t win here. Oh well. At least he didn’t have the screen time to get in between Portwell...

All in all: 2x10, my hopes and prayers are with you!

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3laxx · 3 years

Text

In Your Dreams - Chapter 1

Looking back to Boscha, terrified, Luz saw that she was suddenly summoning a lot more balls, setting all of them on fire.

She felt her heart sinking.

Oh no.

---

When a grudgby accident shows how fragile humans really are, Boscha is forced to act quickly and Amity's world shatters.

This fic takes place when Luz takes Willow's place in "Wing it like Witches" and explores an alternate ending.

In case the warnings weren't enough, here's another few:

TW blood, violence, injuries, angst, and the characters facing the possibility of death.

Now that everything is cleared up, I hope you have a lot of fun reading!

I'm excited to start creating for this fandom now! ;)

Ao3 / FF.net

---

“It’s after school! Where’s the leader of your loser brigade?”, Boscha greeted Luz in full uniform, flanked by her team. Luz gulped at that but straightened her shoulders.

She had pushed Willow and Gus too hard. She had been the one to get Willow into this mess.

And she was the one to set it right again.

“I’m here on her behalf!”, she made a dramatic break, then she breathed in and propped her hands up on her hips, “We forfeit.”

The shock was visible on the whole team's faces and she could even hear Amity gasping from the sidelines. It had to go that way, Luz told herself, that was the solution to the situation she had created.

“And I’m here to tell you that I’ll take Willows place as your-”, at that she pointed on her fingers, “-water gofer, target practice, whatever you need.”

This caused a little while of silence, before Boscha’s hand sank. She looked down on the ball in her hands and for the first time, Luz heard actual respect in her voice when she spoke.

“Wow, you’re a really good friend.”, that almost made Luz feel at ease. Almost.

Because as soon as she’d said it, Boscha drew a circle and set the grudgby ball on fire. Luz gulped at the hateful smirk Boscha sent in her direction, “And a perfect target!”

The Latina gasped, her eyes widening in shock. She-… Wasn’t actually gonna do that, right?

“Think fast!”, Boscha shouted, then she aimed and threw the flaming ball at her.

Luz could just so jump to the side, grunting at the impact with the ground and the heat of the flaming ball washing over her, before watching a tree behind her falling due to the incredible force with which the young witchling had thrown the ball.

Looking back to Boscha, terrified, Luz saw that she was suddenly summoning a lot more balls, setting all of them on fire.

She felt her heart sinking.

Oh no.

She could just so escape the flaming balls by jumping up and running, yelping in fear as she did. She knew witches were magically enhanced, making them stronger and more resistant, but this was even dangerous for a witch. And her as a human?

Luz didn’t want to know what a sonic ball like the one Boscha liked to cut trees with would do to her human body.

Her memory got hazy when she started running. After a few strides across the field, she was already trying to catch her breath. Damn her cursed nerd endurance. She was never the sporty type!

Flaming and biting balls shot after her left and right when she sprinted into the other direction again, setting off various traps on the field like pillars of fire and spikes, as well as disgusting grabby arms and other, very dangerous things. Luz didn’t think she’d survive this.

She had thought that a lot of times on the Boiling Isles, and she had never actually meant it because her optimism and mostly Eda had ensured that nothing bad would happen.

But right now?

Nobody could stop Boscha. She meant every throw.

This time Luz felt real, actual fear bubbling up in her, clenching her chest and making her breaths go fast. She was doomed this time.

A ball threw her off balance and she stumbled, feeling a sharp pain rippling up her leg. Luz screamed, but she knew Boscha wasn’t taking this seriously. She wouldn’t stop.

“Boscha! B-Boscha, stop, stop, I learned my lesson!”, she tried pleading when she got back up again, trying to hobble away but some spikes blocked her way. She couldn’t run to the sides because she wasn’t fast enough. Turning, she watched Boscha light another ball on fire. In her three eyes, a certain amount of madness flashed, and Luz wondered if she actually wanted to kill her. In the background, Boscha’s teammates finally jumped to action, calling out for their friend and waving their arms while running onto the field, trying to stop her but Boscha wouldn’t.

She didn’t take Luz seriously.

“Having fun yet? Cuz I’m just getting warmed up!”

Luz ripped her arms up at the ball flying towards her. Nobody would be helping her this time.

She was all on her own and she had willingly started this. She didn’t have any glyphs on her.

This was it.

The ball hit her with such a force that she was thrown back against the spikes which had cut off her way. Her arms burned when the flames of the ball started licking on her skin, and she heard a crack when her head connected with the rocks. Her body followed and she felt her feet being ripped off the ground. The force of the blow crushed her spine against the same spike as well while her head fell forwards and she could just so blink before already losing her consciousness.

She never felt herself hitting the ground.

Boscha hesitated when the human took a hard blow. Her team stopped dead in their tracks.

She at least wanted her back on her feet, it’d be funnier to try and hit her again. A moving target was better practice anyway.

But she didn’t get back up.

The ball fell from Boscha’s hands as she shouted over to the human.

“Hey, get up! The practice isn’t over yet.”

Nothing moved.

The witchling had seen a lot of grudgby matches when growing up, and she had played in a lot herself. She knew what unconsciousness looked like. But she didn’t think the human was actually out. Anyone playing grudgby should be able to take a hit like this. It wasn’t even such a strong one. Any witch would get right back up, the human was just playing.

She huffed as stalked over, inconvenienced by this. She didn’t wanna have to be bothered by this.

When she approached, she suddenly saw red. A lot of red.

All around the human was red, a whole puddle, her hair was damp, and she wasn’t moving.

Immediately, Boscha forgot all antics, her status, and quickly strode over, reaching the human and kneeling in her blood. Her uniform was suddenly wet, but Boscha couldn’t care.

Grudgby could be a cruel sport, exactly what she liked about that.

She just hadn’t thought the human would get so badly injured by that. Human anatomy wasn’t something Boscha knew a lot about, but she decided it’d be better not to move her too much. Humans were fragile, she had heard her parents say once when she and her friends had been little and had played human. Her parents had forbidden her to play human ever again because they were weak. Degenerates.

And now she was feeling the pulse of one, her heart suddenly racing. Her pulse was there, weak but still rhythmic. This was actually scary. Boscha had never seen that much blood, all over the human’s clothes, all over her face and hair, and all over the field, a puddle of blood.

Her team now approached, just when panic bubbled up in her throat, but she suppressed it, thought tactical.

“Cat, get the healing professor, as fast as you can! Immediately!!”

Her friend turned and hexed some wings on her shoes, to fly faster. Skara kneeled next to her and wanted to turn her over but Boscha stopped her, her hands full of blood.

“Don’t do that, we might hurt her more. We have to-”

The human’s pulse was getting erratic. Paused for one, two beats, then it resurfaced again. Boscha realized they might not have the time for the professor to arrive.

Suddenly, a yelp and a scream sounded and she turned to the source. Willow, Gus, and Amity had arrived at the field’s sidelines. Willow reacted fast and covered Gus’ eyes.

Amity leaped.

“BOSCHA!!”, she screamed suddenly, furiously. Shit.

Boscha knew Amity had a crush on the human She hadn’t been subtle in hiding it. Girl had been super obvious with her tomato face.

“Amelia, stop Amity.”, Boscha instructed and returned her attention to the unconscious human while checking her pulse again, “Skara, we might need to move her over. She can’t stay face down like that. Cat should be returning with the healing professor soon.”

“BOSCHA, YOU SORRY EXCUSE FOR A WITCH!!”, Amity screamed from her cage of vines that Amelia had trapped her in. Somewhere deep down, Boscha hurt at her words, but she had to stay focused right now. Amity was emotional and she’d attack her, and touch the human, maybe even try to hug or move her. They couldn’t risk it, “LEMME AT HER, AMELIA, I’LL RIP HER UP!!”

Silently, Boscha was thankful for Willow and Gus not helping Amity. Willow had sent Gus away to get something, water maybe, to keep him distracted, then she came over and sat down next to Boscha while she checked the human’s breathing by leaning down, getting her hair all wet from the blood, but she didn’t even feel that. Her breathing was shallow and uneven, her pulse fading.

“DON’T BE A FUCKING COWARD BOSCHA, FIGHT ME!!”, Amity’s voice broke at the tears forming in her eyes and the sobs bubbling up in her throat but she still pushed against the vines as hard as she could, trying to reach for Boscha who was still far away.

“We need to put her on her back, we might need to do CPR.”, Boscha instructed, her eyes squinted in concentration when she kept feeling the weakening pulse of the human, “Willow, can you make a stretcher of sorts?”

“I SWEAR, BOSCHA, I’LL MAKE YOU FEEL SO SORRY!!”

The girl from the plant track, her rival as she faintly remembered, quickly jumped to action. She created a stretcher from the ground and kicked it to break it off its roots, handing one side to Boscha while staying at Luz’s feet.

“BOSCHA, I SWEAR TO THE TITAN, I’LL KILL YOU!!”

Skara softly cupped the human’s forehead and steadied her hip, while Willow secured her legs. The team captain mirrored Skara’s hand on her forehead and wrapped her arms around the human’s shoulders, and on three, they turned her on her back. She looked awful.

Her brown skin almost looked grey and she wasn’t moving at all. Boscha once again leaned down to check her breathing. Her heart sank.

The human had stopped breathing.

“Fuck. Skara, you hold her shoulder, Willow, her legs. Make sure she doesn’t move around too much. Amelia, come here. You’ll switch with me once I get tired.”

At once, Boscha started pressing down on the human’s chest repeatedly. She didn’t know exactly where to place her hands, because she knew humans didn’t have a bile sac, so she just winged it and put her hands directly over her heart. Counting, she pushed down several times before closing the human’s nose and blowing into her mouth.

Amity only raged more at that, but Boscha didn’t even hear her anymore. The CPR took over all her senses and she went into hyper-focus. Push, push, push a few times, breathe, and again. And again.

Finally, after Boscha switching with Amelia and then back again, cat showed up with her healing professor.

He had brought the Illusions professor with him as well, for safe transport, and after assessing the situation the two of them vanished with the human in a cloud of blue. All that remained were the grudgby girls, Willow and Amity, who had sunk into herself in the vine cage Amelia had created for her, sobbing quietly.

And the big puddle of blood that the human had left here.

Boscha leaned back and fell against the spike that remained standing, against which the human had crashed when she had thrown that ball.

Fuck.

They breathed through for a moment until Willow and Boscha exchanged a gaze. They both had known Amity for a long time. If they didn’t stop her spiral now, she’d let it eat her up. For the first time, Boscha and Willow shared an opinion. They got up and walked over to the cage. Willow sank to her knees next to Amity’s curled-up position and began hugging her, then Amelia released the cage. The vines receded into the ground between Willow’s arms and Amity softly leaned against her old friend, still crying.

Boscha sat down next to them and pulled up her legs, not sure what to say. It had been her fault.

Sure, grudgby was a cruel sport and she had seen a lot of injuries already, but she hadn’t known the human was so fragile that she couldn’t take that hit. A witch would’ve been able to get back up again, to continue after that.

She wouldn’t have attacked the human as wildly if she had known. The picture of the bloodied classmate still shook her, but it was burnt into her memories now. She wouldn’t be able to shake it, ever again, and she felt like she deserved that.

Boscha wasn’t a bad witch. She had enjoyed being in charge, of course, but she had never wanted to hurt someone as badly. She hadn’t known the consequences.

“… I’m sorry…”, she finally mumbled, when the horror settled, “I’m so sorry…”

It wouldn’t bring the human back. She knew that. It wouldn’t make everything okay again.

Much to her surprise, Amity reached out and pulled on her shirt. Boscha looked up to see the puffed and swollen eyes of her friend and scooted closer. She didn’t dare to hug the Blight, but she’d be here for her. Amelia and Skara joined them in their group, as well as Cat. At some point, Gus arrived with some water and snacks for which Willow had sent him. She had figured Gus shouldn’t have to see his friend like this, when already reacting extremely to his flags being broken.

They stayed like this for a little while, until Amity had dozed off against Willow's shoulder, so they called the Blight twins to pick Amity up on the grudgby field so that the grudgby team could go home to change and wash while Willow and Gus would notify Eda.

After Amity had been picked up by her siblings and everyone else had gone home, Willow and Gus started their way down the way through the forest where Luz had always shown up for school.

Willow still hadn’t changed her clothes. Her knees and sleeves were still full of blood, even if she had scrubbed her hands and arms clean in the school.

This wasn’t gonna be easy. They knew Eda could get very protective of her apprentice, and she had almost started acting like a mother for Luz. Telling her that her apprentice was injured wouldn’t be something Willow would be looking forward to.

She nervously rubbed her arm when they got closer to the Owl House, so much so that Gus stopped her arm by touching her.

“Willow, Eda won’t be mad at us.”, he clarified. Sweet Gus.

“No, of course not. But I don’t like bringing bad news.”, she sighed, “And this is very bad news. Gus, we don’t even know if-…”

Gus remained silent, as did she when her voice died. They didn’t know, couldn’t know. What should they even say? There was an accident and now they didn’t know what had happened to Luz?

Willow sighed again when the Owl House came into view, Hooty spotting them already and swinging in to announce their arrival in his high-pitched voice. Willow and Gus flinched as Eda appeared in the doorframe in what seemed to be a grudgby jacket, making the situation all the more real.

The witch mustered them up and down, she had of course immediately noted the absence of her kid and crossed her arms. A defensive action, Willow noticed. When people were scared, uncomfortable, or caged in they often did that.

“Hey, Eda…”

“So, why didn’t you bring Luz back here? Is she in trouble?”, Eda forced a grin when they got closer, probably not having been able to identify the blood on Willow’s clothing, “Did she pull some kinda prank involving paint?”

But there was no humor or bite in her voice. Willow heard the concern and she bit her lip not to let it out yet. Not yet.

She couldn’t start crying now, because then she wouldn’t stop.

“There-… A few girls from the grudgby team gave us a hard day and Luz challenged them. There was an accident.”

Eda’s ears twitched when her face fell. She connected the dots and suddenly, she knew all too well what that kid had on her clothes. Gus comfortingly placed a hand on Willow's back while Eda felt the world swimming and her head being dizzy. That was blood.

“Mrs. Eda?”, the small one now asked, causing the older witch to look back at him, her vision out of focus, “Luz is now in the Healer’s Coven. If you wanna see her, you can go.”

Right, the Healer’s Coven was neutral ground. Eda stretched out her hand and caught Owlbert flying at her, then she got up on her staff.

“Hop on, kids, I’ll fly you home. Hooty, watch the house. King, come on, hurry up!”

They heard a scurrying sound, then some panting, and finally King appeared in the door Hooty closed behind him, just before he jumped up into Eda’s hair and looked out by her cheek.

“What are we doing? Pickpocketing?”, he asked excitedly.

“We’re visiting Luz, little guy, after flying them home.”, everyone had found a seat on her staff and she gave Owlbert a little smack, “Let’s go! They’ll explain on the way there.”

The room was dark when Eda entered. King was asleep in her hair and she carefully nestled him out, then she placed Owlbert on the wall and sat down on the lower end of the Healer’s bed, taking King into her lap.

Luz looked grey and pale in the moonlight, and so small in the sheets. She was only a child.

“Hey kid…”, Eda began, but she couldn’t make her voice work so she whispered, “… You’re such a troublemaker. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’ve got that from me.”

The witch chuckled when she reached for her hand, a little cool to the touch but alive. Very much alive.

The healers had done an exceptional job patching her up. They had been able to assure that she wouldn’t suffer any long-lasting consequences and that neither her spine nor her brain would be damaged. Softly, Eda rubbed along the back of her hand, then her gaze wandered over the injuries.

Luz’s arms were bandaged from heavy burns. She’d get some nasty scars from that.

Her face was also a little burned but not as bad as her arms. Her skull had gotten quite a beating and she had lost a lot of blood, but the healers had assured Eda it’d be fine. A bandage around her head still proved the serious injury she had suffered.

Her spine had been injured in multiple places but they could fix it again and now they just had to wait a few days until the sleeping spell wore off, to ensure that Luz wouldn’t move for a bit.

Eda got up to sit down on the sofa in the room and make it a little comfortable. She had a few long days ahead of her.

---

I hope you liked it!

If you did, feel free to leave a Like and reblog, if you want! I'll update this fic relatively soon!

Thanks, this means a lot to me! <3

#the owl house #toh #luz noceda #amity blight #boscha #willow park #gus porter #lumity #injury #hurt #comfort #grudgby #accident #blood #angst #fanfiction #in your dreams

28 notes · View notes

bookwyrminspiration · 2 years

Note

Quil!! Hello!!

I now want to write the animal the animalistic au but i’d have to work out all of that stuff (The percentages and the hierarchy, like only cat-likes can become a councillor but Bronte is either as an exception as he was there before that was in place, he proved himself, or he was born into the role and was taken in as the bastard child of an 80% cat after he’d been left in the wild for a few years of his life because his rabbit parent was killed or was found ‘guilty’ of a crime thanks to a jealous concubine or the male variant of one- oh wait yeah I’m liking this)

It’ll probably take a while for me to write it and figure out how to do all the views since I don’t really know the characters that well, I might focus in one character from canon (Like Bronte) so that i can have more leeway with how I write the pov’s, but I also like having him as a big daunting character that you slowly figure things out, but I also like having the big scary important characters to scare the protagonist. Maybe I could steal pyro’s Fallon or something, like have him be the placeholder person. I’ll probably paint him in a different light because I prefer light angst and hurt/comfort thats lots of comfort and fluff, but it can be like a big trio of Cat Boys (If I’m remembering what the council was before it was expanded to twelve)

-Heathen

Heathen! Hello!

If you do write the animalistic au (no pressure to) I'd definitely be curious to read it. Though it might be the kind of au that needs a lot of premediation prior to writing in order to create it the way you want to, but then again every writer is different. Just because I spent several months just thinking about the wings au before writing it doesn't mean that you need to do that, too!!

Also I only understood like half of what you were saying about Bronte being a rabbit-type taking in by a cat-like person, but what I did understand sounded very interesting!! Kinda sounds like zootopia but if all of the animals were partially human. I haven't watched zootopia in a while though so don't take that seriously please, it just faintly reminds me of the predator-prey hierarchy thing.

take your time!! as far as I know you're basically absorbing what the story is through what people post about, and I actually don't know if you've even read the series. If you are getting information purely from the tumblr fandom...good luck? A lot of people have decided to disregard it and change the characters and use those as their base for everything instead of what Shannon wrote. Not that it's a bad thing, just it's probably very easy to pick up things that aren't 100% canon. If you are interested in canon, that is!

Whatever you decide to do with Bronte (or another character0 I'm sure will be great! it's definitely interesting to play around with pov and narration. There's many benefits of third person limited like we have with Sophie in canon, but then again switching between characters is super fun when it's done well. Oh and also! There are rules to writing, but those are guidelines and if you break those rules well it just brings the story to a whole other level. I just read Pan's Labyrinth (it's my favorite movie and I discovered it got turned into a book, yes turned into as in the movie came first) and it broke the rule of only being in one person's head.

To clarify: a general rule when writing is that you stick to the character whose pov you're writing about in the moment. You shouldn't say, share the direct thoughts of both characters in the same section because then the reader wonders who the narrator actually is. Are they reading from the character whose emotions are being told, or from the person whose thoughts are in the narration, you know? It's a common problem younger writers run into, but my point is that Pan's Labyrinth broke that rule and the narrator became like this onmiscient entity and the story was everyone and everything at once and it really added to the story! it fit perfectly with the vibe!

I've gotten off track but my point is that whatever you do when writing the pov, I think it'll be great! Follow the rules or break them well, everything will turn out fine.

And if you stole Matt's Fallon that would certainly be something. His Fallon is quite the character! Though I can definitely see how that would not mesh well with light angst or hurt/comfort. Matt's alteration characters is much more dead dove do not eat, which is enticing in its own way.

Also yes, the council was a group of three before it got expanded to 12, so there could be a bunch of catboys if you so wish.

No pressure to write this au, but if you do I hope you have fun! That's one of the most important parts of writing. Good luck with it!!

#depending on how deep you get into a story it can be hard to remember that writing is supposed to be fun #a lot of the times when I get stuck in a rut I have to take a step back and remind myself that the point of the writing is to be fun #yes for others. but also for me #and usually when I start getting stuck it's because I've started seeing it as a task and as an obligation and numbers to be achieved #instead of something I really enjoy #quil's queries #heathen nonsie #catboy!kotlc #kotlc #kotlc au

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misterbitches · 3 years

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hi! this is long as shit i’m sorry. i hope it makes sense. i ahve adhd and like 5 million learning disorders so this is just word vomit cos there’s so many words in my brain. my b.

i’ve had such a tough day so thank you for replying and sharing! @yeedak

i was thinking about what i wrote and i meant to clarify that as well. some cases are fine for both parties and it’s not like you weren’t consenting and it seems like you were happy! same with my friend who was dating a 20 yr old. if they’re happy you know i’ll clown on ‘em but yea. so for anyone that sees these posts your relationship with your partner who is older or whatever. i’m some dumb girl on the internet okay. ill side eye older ppl tho

i think a lot of people feel the same way you do now (me included.) it feels really good at the time but alter we can see the dynamics playing out. i’m 29 now and i think aging is just such a huge process. it’s wild how you at 31 are a totally different person, right?

and the US racism is probably some of the worst ever in its iteration because of slavery which started from europe etc but USA is so fucking unique bc of columbus bringing slaves here and displacing indigenous peoples or hispanola and because america is so influential the way it views race, particularly with black people as objects, has so deeply permeated into the current historical psyche globally. it’s fascinating to track how necessary anti blackness is to the flourishing of america but also the world at this point. also want to point out how fuckign scary sinophobia is here especially for covid. one is a straight historical line (black ppl + the US) and the other had to be manufactured and to continue to exploit the non-white americans and keep antiblackness in tact.i could go on about this all day. the pain of this place is immense.yet as bad as it is here, this is still the only place i truly feel safe as a black person. because of the unique experience we have in america and through the diaspora especially because we are veyr much ocncentrated here. it would be nice to like move to norway and have some alleviation financially or get free healthcare it’s just not feasible if no one looks like me. it’s fucking tough.

i hope you don’t hate it here though and people treat you with respect. but as you know being a woman and jewish and an immigrant....shit is tough. the USA is a hellhole. :( america is so deeply tainted and desperately bad because it was founded on strife and blood and there’s no way to reverse that and what this country did in turn when it gained enough power and could capitalize off of the colonial forefathers. this is why we hsould all luv revolution!!!

HOWMEVERRRR

boy oh boy oh BOY OH BOYYYYYYYY. well wlecome to the world of BL lmao especially as an adult with some obviously deep perspective just given your background. it is a fucking mess and it’s a hard mess to like but it pulls you in. i approach it like i do with soap operas since these are essentially telenovelas, you know? just like the drama at a billion. but the tricky part of that is like....what parts of it do we understand for critiquing? because so many of the shows are so bad at being like good pieces of things to look at just production wise and story wise. but i feel like these shows ask us to take them seriously, so why shouldn’t we take the content seriously? and this is being primarily peddled to young girls.

i bring this up often but i read this thing about yaoi and the interest younger women/girls have in BL and its fascination with pederasty essentially. this component i think is key when we talk about who gets affected by these things the most. society in general is bad 4 girls bla bla we know lmao but in “more sexually conservative” societies it may be harder for these girls to feel safe even expressing normal emotions romantically and sexually and particularly with guys. some people hypothesized, and i think i agree with this hypothesis, that they can live through the casualness of BL. they don’t feel threatened because they can put themselves into the shoes of the other character. oftentimes, the more feminine or the younger. this was in conjunction with the age gap aspect (they say pederasty as well because there’s unethical age gaps that r gross and that is indeed what we would at least call a touch of sexual abuse if people dont feel like calling it an obsession with youth and power and uhhh young ppl and perhaps kids) where maybe girls could see themselves in these situations as the person being saved, loved, taken care of, and sadly also sexually active and penetrated.

i think that’s just one aspect of it but i do think there’s validity in who gravitates towards it. i cannot imagine seeing this stuff and not getting enough information as a young kid, i sure as fuck know i didn’t!, and seeing these things and you look at it with 0 critique because you’re young and you may have no interest in it or you simply cannot understand what is wrong. no one is teaching you these things and these shows confirm it. and it is wild how intrinsic patriarchy is to BL although in its existence it also can’t be in line with patriarchy given the nature of two [cis] men!

it begs the question about the replacement aspect. is it just so girls can put themselves in these characters shoes? if so then that means we believe that gender is so interchangeable within our relationships and interactions and that doesn’t seem right. there’s more to lgbtq+ than just existing; it’s finding ways to communicate, finding a family, safety, your people, being a free person. there’s a lot to gain and a lot a lot to lose. and a gay man is also not a woman because those are also two distinct experiences. especially in societies that have a more hidden aspect to sexuality (idk how to word this bc the BL industry would NEVER survive in america but in a way there’s a more “progressive” look at homosexuality but it’s still fucked up because we live in a Society, you know? at the same time look at what we are doing to trans kids. literally waging war so it’s bonkers how we all collectively have some real progress happening but at the same time not at all. the concept of ‘ladyboys’ and the frequency we see trans people in thai shows is wild and something that we absolutely do not see here in the US. still, none of these groups feel safe or are getting better material conditions in either place. we just show the ways we can try and tolerate oppression witout eliminating it imo)

to me it is clear: it’s money. which most things exist to make money so. but also who is the audience for these shows? and they have to market towards them. all that said all hope is not lost there are some decent shows. it’s just like regular media on TV though where it’s so fucking saturated as an industry that it’s literally sifting through garbage. and there are some days when you can handle the trash and others where it really fucking hurts to watch the violence, the rape, the manipulation, the violations, the stupid messaging. i have never seen more people trying to do mental gymnastics and seeing if things were “technically rape” than in teh BL fandom and that is so fucking sad.

i came into these shows at 28 with almost 0 clue of what as media BL was like esp as media that countries can use as soft power with the revenue. but i realize like...i’m 29 now and so many people don’t have a sizeable, though not huge, amount of life experience. and i wonder for people on the internet who are usually searching for something if they spend so much time on it like what a 15 year old girl thinks. what a 20 year old girl thinks.

it is incredibly problematic and so awful but there’s also some rewards. if you haven’t i would definitely watch i told sunsset about you which i don’t think i’m going to finish and i doubt i’ll watch the second installment (watch this be a lie) but when i say some fucking impeccable storytelling and art? phew. now that is a fucking piece of media that works. it takes from moonlight heavily and you can see like...the artistic dedication is there and the story makes its world and sets up its stakes extremely well.

i think because this is marketed towards much younger people too they know they dont have to try as hard. but they SHOULD because then you can have a fucking masterpiece like that. i think even this prolific gay thai filmmaker (who is like solidly against the government) who is so respected (and who i like a lot! if u wanna know i can tell u lmao but the films are very uhhhhhhhh “artsy”) would like i told sunset about you. i wish more people had budget like that and also just cared about the stories. it’s the fucking magic of art to figure out what you can do but there is very little incentive honestly. idk i am very pessimistic. there are days when it’s really a great pick me up and distraction but it is never a place i would love for to feel seen or heard but i’m more of the mind of i never trust the mainstream until they prove me wrong ;)

or i never trust the mainstream and i still buy into it anyway and then cry when i don’t like what i see adn i yell “BOO GET OFF THE STAGE!” when an old man won’t leave a teenager alone

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splendidlyimperfect · 3 years

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When Gray wakes up one night with a voice in his head, the last thing he expects is to suddenly be sharing a body with a demon. Natsu is nothing like Gray expected, though. He's surprisingly charming, and more concerned about getting Gray to eat vegetables than he is with taking over the world. Since Gray can't push him away like he does with everyone else, he begrudgingly accepts Natsu's place in his life - for now. But when Natsu ends up needing Gray's help, what started out as an inconvenience turns into a road trip - and a friendship - that changes Gray's life.

written for @fuckyeahgratsu gratsu weekend 2021 event

day 3 (super late but still!); prompt: consume

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 Fandom: Fairy Tail Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Natsu Dragneel/Gray Fullbuster Characters: Gray Fullbuster, Natsu Dragneel, Lyon Vastia, Mard Geer Tartarus Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Humor, Adventure, Demonic Possession, but the good kind, demon Natsu, References to Depression, Depressed Gray, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Sort Of, Road Trips, Falling In Love, Natsu's not an evil demon, he really just wants to take care of Gray, Gray sucks at feelings

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“Let me get this straight.” Lyon stared at Gray from where he stood in the kitchen, wearing nothing but a t-shirt and boxers. “You want me to help you find a demon, then exorcise that demon so that the other demon inside of you – that I apparently summoned while drunk – can get back into his body.”

“He’s not very bright, is he?” Natsu said. “I told you he was a shitty warlock.”

Gray snorted and Lyon raised an eyebrow. “He says you’re a shitty warlock,” Gray explained. “And yes, that’s exactly what I need you to do. Can you help me or not?”

Lyon stared at Gray, then moved closer until they were nearly nose-to-nose and peered into his eyes. “I don’t believe you,” he said eventually.

“Why the hell would I lie about this?”

“’cause you probably just took something you shouldn’t have last night and you’re still hallucinating.”

Continue reading on AO3

Gray groaned in exasperation. “You’re the one who did the goddamn spell!” Then he glared at Lyon, adding, “Why did you do it, anyway?”

“Ex,” Natsu reminded him. Gray’s eyes flicked up to his blurry reflection in the microwave. Natsu’s image was standing directly behind him, so close he almost had his chin on Gray’s shoulder. The look in his eyes was somewhere between disgust and amusement.

“You were pissed at Loke, weren’t you?” Gray asked. Lyon’s scowl gave him the confirmation he was looking for. “You seriously tried to summon a demon to… what, beat up your ex?”

“I wasn’t trying to summon a demon!” Lyon said, holding up his hands in surrender. “It was just some stupid spell from one of those forums online. It didn’t do anything.”

“Except it did.” Gray gestured vaguely to where Natsu’s reflection was behind him. “And now your stupidity is my problem.”

Lyon shook his head. “Demons aren’t even real,” he insisted. “Seriously, did you try the cookies from the top shelf of the pantry? ‘cause I’m pretty sure—”

“I’m not fucking high!” Gray snapped. He rubbed his temples where his headache was still lingering. “I’m not high,” he said again quietly. “I just want to fix this.” He looked back at Natsu’s reflection in the microwave. “Can you show him? Prove that I’m not crazy?”

Natsu hummed uncertainly, not meeting Gray’s gaze. “Yes,” he said. “But you’re not gonna like it.” Gray’s heart sunk. “I’d need to… take over,” Natsu said. “Everything. Just for a second.”

“You want me to let you…” Gray trailed off and pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes. All the conflicting emotions running through him – his and Natsu’s – were compounded by the heavy sense of fear that grew in his stomach.

“We can figure out something else,” Natsu said quickly. “Maybe I can—”

“It’s fine.” Gray forced the words out as he opened his eyes and looked back at Lyon’s puzzled face. “Just…” Lyon looked like he might say something, but Gray shook his head, holding up a hand. “Shut up and give me a second.”

He let out the tight breath in his chest, trying to relax the tension in his shoulders.

“I promise it’ll just be for a second,” Natsu said. He sounded regretful. “It’ll feel weird – like when I was petting the cat – but I won’t do anything scary. Well, it’ll be a bit scary for Lyon, but I’m not going to hurt you.”

Gray hesitated. Natsu had only been in his mind for less than a day, but something in Gray’s gut said that he could trust him, even if he was a demon.

“Okay, just make it quick.”

“What are you—”

Lyon’s words faded away as Gray exhaled, closing his eyes, and letting Natsu’s presence overwhelm his mind. It felt warm, like he was sitting next to a campfire and watching sparks flicker up into the sky. The tingling sensation that had filled him earlier came back in full force, leaving him feeling like his hands and feet had both fallen asleep.

When he opened his eyes again, everything looked red.

“Esaeun xnae ya qnuy.” The voice was his, but not his, rough and layered with words that felt too big and wrong for his mouth. They were unfamiliar, but somehow Gray could understand them – he’s telling the truth.

Lyon stared at Gray, eyes wide with terror. “Your eyes are glowing,” he managed.

“Yes. I’m a demon. They do that.” Natsu spoke in the same infernal language, but he sounded more irritated than angry. “I also have sharp claws and could rip your heart out if I felt like it, but I just ate a cinnamon bun and I’m in a forgiving mood. Now do the damn locator spell.”

As quickly as it had taken him over, the warmth and tingling in Gray’s body disappeared, and his vision quickly returned to normal. Lyon was still standing in front of him, but the expression of disbelief was gone, and now he just looked stunned.

“You okay?” Natsu asked in his own voice in the back of Gray’s mind.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Gray reassured him. “Are you convinced now?” he asked Lyon, who nodded slowly. “Good. Now get your shit together and help me figure this out.”

Natsu’s body was in the middle of nowhere.

“Well then,” Lyon said. He and Gray sat cross-legged on the floor of his bedroom and stared at the map where the black mark had settled – a little ways away from a tiny town called Belle Creek in the middle of the Rocky Mountains.

“It says only 26 people live there,” Gray said, looking at the information on his phone. “What the hell is a demon doing out in the mountains?”

“I thought he’d be somewhere big,” Natsu said. “A city, or something. Y’know, causing destruction and mayhem. Killing people. Demon stuff.”

“Maybe he’s retired,” Lyon said. Gray rolled his eyes.

“I don’t think demons retire.”

“Well, what else would he be doing in the middle of the mountains?”

“Hiding bodies?” Natsu suggested.

Gray sighed and rubbed his temples before looking back down at his phone. He flipped over to the maps and typed in ‘Belle Creek.’

“It’s ‘close,’ huh?” he said to Natsu, raising his eyebrow at the distance – nearly 45o0 kilometers. “That’s at least a three-day drive.”

“At least I got the right country!” Natsu insisted. “Three days isn’t a long time. Not when you’ve been around for almost two hundred years.”

“Well, I’ve only been around for twenty-six years,” Gray said. He looked up at Lyon, who was still staring at him with a baffled expression. “I need to borrow your car.”

“You… what?”

“Your car.” Gray shoved his phone back in his pocket and tapped the map. “I’m not taking the bus to the middle of fucking nowhere. And this is your fault, so I’m taking your car.”

“You can’t just…” Lyon looked down at the map, then back up at Gray. “What’s your plan? You’re just gonna drive out to this place and, what? Ask if anyone’s seen a demon in human skin? You don’t even know what he looks like.”

“Yes, I do.” Gray pointed to his reflection in the bedroom mirror where he could see Natsu, sitting next to him on the floor. Natsu stuck his tongue out at Gray, who rolled his eyes. “I can see him. He’ll be easy to find. Now, show me how to do an… exorcism, or whatever.”

“Or whatever?” Lyon made a sound of exasperation. “You can’t just—you have no idea what you’re doing. You don’t even have any magic! How are you gonna…”

“I’ll help,” Natsu said as Lyon continued to rant. He picked at his nails. “With the magic, I mean. I’d have to take over again, just for a little, but I could help, if you wanted. Unless you wanna bring him with you—” he gestured at Lyon “—but I doubt he’d be much help.”

Gray snorted. “I’m not spending six days in a car with this asshole,” he said, gesturing at Lyon, who stopped mid-rant and glared at him. “Just show me the spells,” Gray said. “Natsu can help me figure out the rest.”

An hour and a half later they were both back in the kitchen and Gray was shoving a handful of books and old parchments into his bag. Lyon leaned on the counter and gave Gray a serious look.

“Are you sure about this?” He hesitated, then added, “I know you haven’t been… great, not since she—”

“Shut up,” Gray said quickly, gritting his teeth. “I’ve told you a hundred times that I’m fine.” He could feel Natsu’s uncertainty as he turned away from Lyon and snatched his car keys from the hook on the wall, then grabbed the front door handle and swung it open with more force than necessary.

“Gray, I—”

“I can handle this.” Gray interrupted Lyon’s concerned words. He turned around in the doorway, doing his best to give Lyon a reassuring look. “I’ll be back in a week.”

Gray stood in the doorway to his bedroom, feeling the familiar sense of frustration and defeat as he stared at the piles of dirty clothes and dresser covered in empty coffee cups. He sighed, making his way to the closet, and searching for his duffle bag.

“What’s wrong?” Natsu asked. He’d been quiet the whole drive home, leaving Gray alone with his thoughts.

Gray shook his head. “Nothing. I just have to pack.” He gestured vaguely to the clothes.

“You’re sad again.”

“I’m not sad,” Gray snapped. “I’m…” He rubbed a hand over his face. “I’m just tired.”

“But it feels like sad,” Natsu said, sounding genuinely puzzled. Before Gray could get mad at him, he quickly added, “I’m not spying! I promise, you’re just – when your feelings are really strong, it’s hard for me to not feel them too. And I feel sad, not tired. It’s weird.”

Gray groaned, tossing the duffle bag on the bed, and rummaging through one of the piles until he found a few mostly clean shirts. As he started to pack up his toothbrush and razor, he gave in.

“My life has kinda sucked lately,” he said. He looked up into the mirror, where Natsu was meeting his gaze and listening intently. “A lot of shitty stuff happened where I used to live, and sometimes it makes me… tired. Of everything.”

“What happened?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” Gray shoved the toiletries bag into his duffle, then looked around the messy room. “It’s over and I live here now. I’m just trying to figure shit out and I don’t wanna think about any of that stuff. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Natsu was quiet as Gray headed to the front door and started to put on his shoes. Happy, who had been sleeping on the couch, stretched out and meandered over to them.

“Lyon’s gonna take care of you for a bit,” Gray said to Happy as he meowed and rubbed himself against Gray’s leg. “Feel free to bite him.”

Natsu laughed. “Can we pet him again?” he asked. “If not, that’s okay, I just—”

“Sure.” Gray ran his fingers over Happy’s head and scratched behind his ears. He registered Natsu’s surprise, then excitement, and then his arm started to tingle again. Now that he was expecting it, it wasn’t as strange. A warm sensation spread through him as he stroked Happy’s fur.

“You’re happy,” he murmured as he watched his hand with a strange detachment. Apparently feeling emotions went both ways. It was strange – the sensation of contentedness was familiar but alien at the same time.

“I love cats,” Natsu said, scratching Happy under the chin before dissolving his control over Gray’s arm. Gray stood up, looking over at Natsu’s excited expression in the mirror before shrugging on his coat.

“You ready?” he said as he shouldered the duffel bag. He spun Lyon’s keys around his fingers and let some of Natsu’s excitement take over as they headed out the door. “Let’s go get your body back.”

#fairy tail #gratsu #gratsuweekend2021 #gray fullbuster #natsu dragneel #fairy tail fanfiction #ft fanfic #update #new chapter #my fic #highway to hell

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charmedseoull · 3 years

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The Aftermath of Fanfiction Authors with Reba Interview

Before You Read the Interview

I contacted Reba after she posted a Reddit thread titled “When a fic becomes too popular and the author deletes their account and/or work. Explained.” on a throwaway account. We discussed details of the interview during December over email, then started the interview in January. This interview is not associated with a project and is its own independent work. Reba has chosen to remain anonymous.

She provides insight on potential reasons to why fanfiction authors abandon their work from the perspective of a fanfiction reader. She also answered general fandom questions and questions about herself so readers could understand her background.

Charmedseoul is a BTS-focused anonymous historian who documents fandom history using Fanlore. If you would like to be interviewed to help document perspectives in fandom, please contact her on Twitter @charmedseoul or on Tumblr @charmedseoull.

Parts of this interview have been edited with links to Fanlore and Wikipedia pages for understanding. Any information in [brackets] serves for further clarity for readers and elaboration of information.

Now presenting the interview with Reba, long-time fanfiction reader and participant in fandom:

When did you first join fandom culture?

I joined fandom culture in 2014. I feel like fandoms really peaked during this time. [Presence of SuperWhoLock and other Tumblr specific fandoms.]

What fandoms are you in? How have your experiences in them been?

I will be honest and say fandom culture isn’t for me- so I can’t say I’m active in any fandoms (I’m just a silent consumer) but growing up I was a fan of music artists mostly; Justin Bieber, Ariana Grande… I loved the IT 2017 movie adaptation for a long time (I still do), and early 2020 is when I got into BLACKPINK, then BTS. My experience with all of these has been good, and maybe that’s because I don’t see any of the drama and arguments online- but I don’t regret any of my past interests because they all made me happy at one point in time.

What do you like about fandoms?

What I like about fandoms is how happy it can make an individual; getting excited for a new music video, smiling at behind the scenes photos… it can bring someone a little joy if they are having a bad day.

What do you dislike about fandoms?

I don’t like stan culture at all; fandom drama, arguing on twitter with strangers to defend an artist who doesn’t even know you… it all seems toxic. While I'm sure healthy stanning does exist, I don't think it's easy to achieve at all.

How long have you been an ARMY? What are your opinions about the fandom? How has your experience in the fandom been?

I became an ARMY in early 2020 when Map of the Soul: 7 was released, so only a year. I really do like the fandom; ARMY is the only fandom I’ve seen where there are so many fans worldwide of all different ages, and that just shows how BTS and their music really is for everyone. There is so much BTS content that there’s never a dull day, so my experience in the fandom has been enjoyable!

Did you ever leave ARMY and take a break then come back?

I’ve never left ARMY, that being said, I’m a newbie and haven’t been here for long.

When did you first start reading fanfiction?

I have been exposed to fanfiction since 2014, but I wasn’t in any fandom back then and started reading fanfiction in 2017.

What do you think the purpose behind fanfiction is?

We mostly read for entertainment but there is definitely a purpose to fanfiction, as for all art. Fanfiction is a great thing for both reader and writers, it can be an outlet for many people, a way to experience things that you don't have a chance to experience in your own life. It also can be a good base ground for people who want to start writing, or for someone who finds reading huge paperback novels difficult. Fanfiction is so easily accessible, you can pull up a story to read or share your work at the press of a button.

As you’ve read fanfiction over the years, do you feel like anything about fanfiction has changed?

Yes! Fanfiction is taken a lot more seriously now, people who write fanfiction treat it like an actual novel with plotting and editing- the quality of fanfiction in general is a lot better. Fandom ships have also changed; when I was a teenager Harry Styles fanfictions were crazy popular, now the fanfics that seem to be more popular are BTS! So that just shows when music evolves, pretty much everything else does too.

As a reader, how do you view authors?

I'm always amazed by fanfic authors because they practically write whole novels for free. Writing can be such a personal thing, and it does take talent; there is a story the author wants to convey, and when a story is told in a beautiful way, it leaves a lasting impact on the reader. I’m sure that must be a euphoric feeling for the author- it means they told their story, and they did it well.

Do you think many other readers share the same view as you?

No, not at all. There are readers out there who don’t really think about the time and effort authors put into their stories. I’ve seen readers expect so much, and criticise something so little. It’s sad- people should be able to write whatever they want, writing is supposed to encourage creativity. Authors shouldn’t have to fear backlash for doing just that. Being creative.

Why do you think so many authors delete/orphan their work after it gains popularity?

When a story gains popularity- it attracts good and bad attention alike. Unfortunately the negative affects us a lot more, it’s just human nature. While authors do put their work out there, I don’t think they are ever prepared for their stories to become so popular. I am sure it is overwhelming and that’s why authors feel the need to distance themselves from it all and delete/orphan their work.

What stories prompted you to start thinking about why authors delete/orphan their works?

I read a story called mixtape (IT movie) and I was around long enough to see chapters be uploaded each week. I also saw the struggles the author went through when their fanfic began to rise in popularity, which eventually led to the story being completely deleted from the internet. So I thought this could have been a one-off since I hadn’t read many fanfictions. I then moved onto BTS fanfiction and decided to read the most talked about ones first, only to see a lot of them were by orphaned accounts (so not just a one-off occurrence!). House of Cards by sugamins was the one that got me thinking, I thought “why would somebody not want to be associated with this amazing writing?!” That’s when I began to do some research and stumbled across your interview with the author!

How do you think backlash for a work harms an authors mental health?

An immense amount of feedback, positive or negative, can take a toll on one person. A lot of authors can be reserved people and they write because they are passionate, as an outlet or just a hobby. So when their work does receive backlash it can be very upsetting- it could make them doubt their reasons and capabilities and affect an author so much they might stop writing all together.

How do you think some authors manage their mental health and not delete a work?

This is a hard question because everyone deals with backlash differently. I know some authors who are not bothered by backlash and they choose to ignore it and move on with their day, and then there are other authors who are more anxious and have to put a lot of measures in place to protect their mental health; from your interview with sugamins they explain how they didn’t want to destroy their work, just distance themselves from it, so that’s always an option.

Taking time away from social media and getting enough rest, it is important to not neglect your well-being. Finding a way to cope when you feel low; animals tend to ground me and improve my mental health- they are loving and don’t judge you for who you are. Maybe you cope by talking with friends, or listening to your favourite song. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it helps.

At what point with mental health do you think authors start to consider deletion/orphaning?

I think an author starts to consider deleting/orphaning their work when it completely consumes them. It is not healthy to be fixated on something that is no longer bringing you happiness, you need to let it go. If you are an author reading this, just know you are not your feedback, it doesn’t define your existence, okay? Fanfiction should add to your life, not take away from it.

Why do you think some readers invade an authors privacy?

Sometimes, people care more about the author than the work they have created. So when a fanfic has deeply touched a reader and helped them through so much, they want to reach out in any way and tell them so- this can be invasive if the reader is not careful about their approach.

How do you think authors manage this privacy invasion?

Stopping it before it happens; not using your real name, having a separate account for writing, don’t link social media accounts in your works etc. If privacy has already been compromised and a reader is making the author uncomfortable, then disabling comments on their works, making a new social media or changing their accounts to private would be smart. Just knowing how to keep safe online.

At what point with privacy invasion do you think authors start to consider deletion/orphaning?

When you are at risk of being doxed. I think when readers are going as far as finding authors’ personal accounts and messaging their friends- anything along those lines is scary and the reader is going from a supporter to an intrusive stranger real fast.

Why do you think anonymity is important for fanfiction writing?

When your full name is attached to everything you do, people have a very easy way to get back to you. This is why authors keep an anonymous profile, and it is important readers respect that. Most authors don’t want their family, friends, employer etc to see that sort of stuff. It is completely okay to remain professional and keep fanfiction writing separate from personal life.

Do you think fanfiction writing should stay free? Do you think authors should be paid for their work?

I do think fanfiction writing should stay free on the sites they originate from (AO3 for example). However, if the author wants to take their work elsewhere to earn money then I don’t see an issue in that. I am glad you mention copyright law with fanfiction in particular because the author of mixtape (the fanfiction I mentioned earlier) tried to self publish their work while keeping canon names, the author tried to justify it as a parody work and everyone was so concerned that they reported the book until it got removed. I have seen stories on Wattpad become published books to purchase, however, the names had been changed to original characters- I think this seems like a much more logical move to avoid any legal repercussions.

As a reader, how has an author’s work connected with you personally?

I have had works connect with me on a personal level, one in particular is Somebody To Love by LOVERVMINS (orphaned). My standards are impossibly high after reading that fanfic and I don’t think I will ever come across something so beautiful again. Somebody To Love is a taekook fic that was uploaded to AO3 in 2019, the author ended up deleting all their works but thankfully left this particular story up. I was immediately captured by the incredible writing and unique plot; the story of two lovers who were never meant for each other, but destiny found its way anyway… I apologise in advance for how long this summary (with spoilers) is, but I think my thoughts are proof of how this story has connected with me so much!

(Spoilers for Somebody to Love by LOVERVMINS. Please feel free to scroll to the next bolded question to avoid spoilers.)

In this story, Taehyung is a successful lawyer while Jungkook is just a student, despite the difference in status and wealth, they are intrigued by one another from the very start. After meeting Taehyung, Jungkook is left feeling confused about himself, the internalised homophobia is strong to begin with but as the chapters progress Jungkook goes from someone who is afraid of society and what people may think, to strong and outspoken. Taehyung plays a fundamental part in this, because if Jungkook were to never meet Taehyung, he wouldn’t have realised who he really was, he wouldn’t have been brave enough to discover his sexuality and fall in love in a time where it was so unaccepting. Taehyung is bold and confident on the surface, giving little regard for anybody other than himself, but his concern for others soon changes after he meets Jungkook, he becomes a better man. He could have had his heart desires- but Taehyung was no longer selfish from those few months he spent with Jungkook, so he stayed with his wife to be a good father.

Taehyung makes Jungkook promise him he will find somebody to love (hence the title), and he does, Jungkook finds somebody to love and he is happy- Taehyung finds this out when they unexpectedly meet a few years later, this is the final time Jungkook and Taehyung see each other… but knowing Jungkook is happy, leaves Taehyung happy.

There are different kinds of love, some last forever, and some just for a chapter of your life. It is clear Jungkook was Taehyung’s forever. And I don’t think Jungkook’s love for Taehyung ever went away, he just found another kind of love like he had promised. Jungkook had to live his life; he couldn’t wait for Taehyung, to leave his marriage in the unforeseeable future, or watch him raise his kids from afar, this shows that even if society were accepting, their circumstances were too far gone- if only they met sooner, or in another life. It makes you imagine a world where they could have been together, it makes you think beyond the story even when it’s ended.

It has been a month or two since I read LOVERVMINS work, and I still feel a pang in my chest every time I think of Taehyung’s letter for Jungkook in the epilogue.

Why do you think others think they have the right to know an authors personal information?

I think in this day and age, everything about a person is on show, so people just expect that sort of information from you. Authors appreciate feedback- but they don't know the reader, their family or what they do for fun. Vice versa. You only see a small glimpse into the authors life, and the stuff you see is what they feel comfortable enough to show. That should be enough.

Do you consider writing an art form?

I do consider writing an art form. Writing is like painting an image in the readers mind. I think it is better than visual art because when you are reading a story, not everyone is going to envision the exact same thing, it is up to the imagination. I think that is what makes it so beautiful- we all collectively love a story, yet, we somehow interpret it differently.

Why do you think Archive of Our Own is the ideal platform for fanfiction writing?

I think Archive of Our Own is ideal for fanfiction writing because they give you many options with your work so you are comfortable- it is easy to remove comments, delete an account, or orphan works while keeping your account etc. It is important authors get control of what happens to their work if they want to leave and go in a different direction.

Do you think other fanfiction writing platforms like Fanfiction.net and Wattpad are ideal or lacking?

I think Wattpad is ideal for younger audiences; it’s more visual with book covers and the layout in general is more appealing, I also feel like the stories on there are targeted for pre-teens. When I first got into fanfiction, I did start on Wattpad because it was easier to navigate. I look back now though and do think it is lacking in terms of quality, a lot of the stories are written for shock value and don’t really make much sense because of that. It is hard to find a story on Wattpad that ticks all the boxes (but not impossible). Wattpad also had a breach with data last summer and everyone’s emails got pwned so that made a lot of people move to AO3. I have never used Fanfiction.net so unfortunately I can’t speak for that one. Overall, AO3 has much more content, you can find a story with ease once you know how to use the site.

How has fanfiction writing affected the people in your personal life?

How did you find out that your sister is writing fanfiction?

My sister wrote a Harry Styles fanfic in 2014 which gathered around half a million reads on Wattpad, she got comments from people telling her how much her fanfic has impacted their lives pretty much every day. My sister and I are close and we share the same friends, I noticed when we would have sleepovers she was always on her phone and never paid attention to the movies we were watching. I think all the numbers did affect her for a moment and it wasn’t until my sister started her exams that she realised she had to put her concentration into those to pass, that’s how she came to the decision to delete the story. I asked her recently if she regrets deleting it and she told me she doesn’t at all, she now looks back and doesn’t think her writing was good back then. So I think that shows authors do know what they’re doing and what is best for them in the long run.

My sister had a one direction fan account on Instagram that had 100k+ followers (insane!), she was always open with her interests and I found out she started writing fanfiction through that account.

What personal reasons do you think authors have for deleting/orphaning works?

The list is endless; maybe the author wrote the story in a bad time in their life and they want to delete it because it reminds them of that time, they could have left the fandom, or they simply do not like their story anymore- they grew up and know they can do so much better. It is okay for an author to grow apart from their work, it shows they are growing as a person too.

Why do you think authors get backlash from writing dark themes?

I think authors receive backlash from writing dark themes because it can be triggering for some and can bring up unpleasant memories.

What do you think are the responsibilities of an author when writing dark themes?

A safe bet would be to tag anything relating to abuse (physical, emotional, etc), mental illness (eating disorders, self harm, suicide, etc), graphic violence and rape/sexual assault. That’s what comes to mind. And if a trigger occurs only in a certain chapter, then having an additional warning in the chapter notes would be helpful.

What do you think are the responsibilities of a reader when reading dark themes?

If dark subjects are included in the tags, don’t read the story if it could trigger you. It is as simple as that. People decide to read the fanfic then get mad at the author for triggering them. I am not trying to insult anybody who has triggers, maybe they read a story and their specific trigger was never mentioned in the additional tags… this is what the ‘chose not to archive warnings’ box is for, with this option, it is handled in AO3’s FAQ that major tags are not necessary. In shirt, this means there may be triggering content in the fic that is not disclosed by the author. Plus, there is usually a pop up banner before you click on a story which reads ‘this work could have adult content. if you proceed you have agreed that you are willing to see such content’. There are so many warnings, you can’t miss them. It is a case of reading at your own risk, you can’t blame the author if you do not like the result.

Do you think authors are facing too much pressure from readers about what themes they write?

I do think authors face unnecessary pressure with the themes they write; they are put on such a pedestal that when they write something that isn’t what the audience want, they receive a lot of negative criticism. Authors, no matter what themes you are writing, there is no need to worry if you are writing for yourself and putting out the content you set out to create.

Why do you think authors write dark themes?

Dark themes are simply an exploration of difficult emotions along with unpleasant events or consequences. Authors write dark themes because it serves a narrative purpose. And authors don’t have to be ‘dark’ people or experience all of these unsettling things to write such content.

Why do you think readers read dark themes?

Dark themes are not for everyone, I personally don’t think there are enough dark works out there. I read dark themes because it interests me more, I want to know how the characters are going to cope with the consequences, or heal from the trauma. Other readers might prefer dark themes for the graphic content, this is fine too. Fictional violence is not real- we all know this, so there is no reason to be terrified.

Why do you think so many authors want to have their work get popular?

People may disagree, but I think it has a lot to do with validation. Subconsciously, authors want people to like their work- a rise in popularity means readers are seeing the authors work, and hopefully taking enjoyment from it. This isn’t a bad thing as long as you realise validation does not equal self-worth. There are people out there who write and do not gain much attention, but that doesn’t stop them from posting their work anyway.

Do you think a work’s popularity is important?

I personally don’t. I read a range of fanfictions- some are super popular, others are not. It is the content I am more interested in, not how many hits/views it has.

Should we judge authors for deleting/orphaning their work?

Not at all! I am sure authors have thought long and hard before coming to their decision.

How should we view situations where authors delete/orphan their work?

For a reader, it can be upsetting when authors delete/orphan their work, especially if there is no possibility of reading that story again. However, we need to show compassion and view the situation from the authors perspective; gaining popularity on a fanfic isn't as pleasant as it might seem, it is much more complicated than that. A lot of feedback, both good and bad, can be overwhelming. Mental health is important, and if that means distancing yourself from something so popular, then it must be done. Privacy can be compromised, people in your real life might find out you write these stories and not be accepting, or readers become invasive which is a scary situation to be in. And a mixture of personal reasons, people are allowed to grow and change and want to distance themselves from things they are no longer proud of.

What do you think authors should be aware of in case their work does get popular?

This is a good question… I think authors need to be aware that with good feedback, also comes bad feedback. You cannot please every single person on this earth, but that is not your job- so do not take it personally.

Do you have any last messages to readers of this interview?

I want to thank you in particular, Charm. This interview is probably the coolest thing I’ll ever get to do for the BTS fandom and I’m so grateful that our paths crossed so we could create this interview together. You are such a kind soul and it has been a pleasure from start to finish.

For the authors reading this interview; I am just a reader, but I do understand how it can be hard for you to continue on when you are going through so many struggles readers don’t get to see. Just know you are appreciated, and you are supported no matter what you decide to do with your works in the future. Having popular works shouldn’t feel like a burden, there are blessings hidden in there- you have made readers feel a rollercoaster of emotions with your talent, you are able to engage with readers around the world, and you have created a beautiful story from nothing… you did that!

For the silent readers like myself: let the authors of your favourite work know how much you loved it (in a respectful way) before it is too late! I so wish I had the chance to tell the author of Somebody To Love how their story broke my heart then healed it again. Treasure the fanfictions you love because they very well could be gone tomorrow!

Thank you for reading this interview. Further below are reminders and information about this interview and Charmedseoul’s Fanlore projects.

Reba has chosen to remain anonymous. No social media or information about her will be released publicly.

This interview was conducted through email from January 31, 2021 to February 1, 2021 with Reba’s consent and protections under Fanlore’s Identity Protection policies and the posting website’s privacy policies. Unauthorized reposting of this interview is forbidden.

Due to the casual nature of this interview, repost of this interview is strictly prohibited. Linking and sharing is appreciated. Translation and unauthorized repost of this interview is forbidden.

Thank you for reading. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask and I will do my best to answer them.

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