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#source: friday night dinner
amazing-spiderlad · 3 months
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Charlie: I'm just worried you might be scaring the potential guests- No more talking about murder, alright? No talking about burning bodies either.
Alastor: What? Well, what am I supposed to talk about then?
Vaggie: Anything! Just not murder or burning bodies!
Alastor: Hm... Well I suppose I could talk about physics- do they like physics?
Angel: No one likes physics
Alastor: No one likes physics?? What's wrong with you?
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blazingstar29 · 4 months
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mav working at a chinese restaurant college and getting fired: ice: when did you learn chinese? mav: japan
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Geoffrey Charles: Uncle Cary, have you seen Valentine?
Cary: I thought you were Valentine.
Geoffrey Charles:
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series-thoughts · 11 months
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*The kids rummaging through the kitchen for snacks for a movie marathon*
Nadine: Have you seen this, guys?
Junior: What is it?
Lexy: *taking the tin* A tin of beef. Best before September 2010. Ew!
Devon: What?!
Glen: 2010?!
*Andy and Nica entering the kitchen*
Glenda: *to Nica* Did you know Andy's been keeping this tin of meat in here?
Nica: Sorry?
Jake: It's from 2010.
Nica: *to Andy* Why have you been keeping rotten food?
Andy: What? How can it be rotten if it's in a tin?
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incorrectuksies · 1 year
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race: i've seen him going in and out of the toilet all day with that magnifying glass. just tell me, what have you been looking at? and don't say dust particles again.
elmer: look, i told you - ow!
race: all right, is it something to do with your penis? have you got something wrong with your penis?
elmer: my what?
race: your penis!
elmer: oh, my penis, right, my penis...i was bitten.
race: bitten? on your penis? were you bitten on your penis?
elmer: yes! on my penis, my penis, yes.
buttons: i wish everyone would stop saying penis.
race: well, bitten by who?!
elmer: by a bee.
jack: bitten by a bee? you mean stung by a bee?
elmer: that's what i said!
race: so you were stung by a bee, when?
elmer: when i was having a wee.
race: you were stung by a bee when you were having a wee?
elmer: yes, i got stung by a bee when i was having a wee.
buttons: what, in the bathroom?
elmer: of course not in the bathroom! outside.
race: what were you doing weeing outside?
elmer: having a wee!
race: do you normally wee outside?
elmer: no! only if it's a nice day...
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incorrect-malfoys · 2 years
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*entering the Malfoy dining room*
Bellatrix: Hold on, the table's set for five
Draco: Don't tell me there's a guest
Narcissa: Yes, there's a guest
Draco: That means we'll have to talk to somebody else
Lucius: Why didn't you tell us we'd have to talk to somebody else?
Narcissa: Because. If I told you you'd have to talk to somebody else, you wouldn't have come
Lucius: You're right
Bellatrix: Farewell
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Edgar: And just so you know, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit!
Geoffrey: Is it really?
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Morse: Is there anything you won’t eat?
Strange: Er… Wasps?
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Annie: Is there anything you won’t eat?
Max: Er… Wasps?
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steddiealltheway · 7 months
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(Happy happy birthday Noelle (@frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe) thank you for all your amazing fun facts which are the source for this little ficlet. I hope you enjoy <3)
For some reason, The Party had decided to rent Friday the 13th for their upcoming movie night at Steve's house. With all the shit they've been through, Steve thinks that maybe it's a strange choice, but he knows better than to question the kids.
"What a nice choice," Robin says sarcastically as she looks over Steve's shoulder at the tape. She hasn't quite grasped how defensive the teens can get, but they seem to respect her more than they respect Steve. Figures.
"Isn't it?" Dustin snarks back as he grabs the tape from the counter.
Max rolls her eyes and adds, "I said the same thing."
"Yeah, because you want to watch some shit like Cinderella," Mike whines.
"Does it ever hurt your tiny, sexist brain to think of those weak insults?" Max asks with her eyebrows raised.
Lucas tries to hide a laugh as Mike glares at him.
"Alright, alright, this is the Family Video. Take it outside if you guys are going to bicker," Steve says with a sigh as he moves to restack some tapes Dustin had nudged just to be annoying.
"You and Robin bicker all the time," Dustin says defensively.
Steve gives him a look. "Do you want to lose Harrington house privileges?"
Dustin sighs, looking like he really wants to argue before he turns around to the group and announces defeatedly, "Alright, let's get snacks before tonight."
As they're filing out the door, Dustin runs back to the counter and adds, "I almost forgot. Is it fine if Eddie comes?"
Steve shrugs, trying to look unphased by the question. "Sure," he says, voice cracking a bit.
Dustin instantly lights up. "Great! I already invited him, so that would've been awkward. See you later!"
Robin comes up to him and lightly shoves his shoulder. "Sure," she mocks him. "You're so smooth."
"Shut up," Steve says with a sigh. God, Robin will never let him live down what he thought to be his deathbed confession of his crush on Eddie. In reality, he was just put on so many painkillers in the hospital that he had gotten confused when he woke up in a hospital room.
And yeah, maybe the crush still hasn't gone away and Robin definitely knows, but he refuses to acknowledge it.
"You're going to be at the movie night, right?" Steve asks.
Robin groans. "I've already told you, I have my parent's anniversary dinner tonight."
"So, you'll be at my house tonight," Steve jokes.
"I wish."
Steve nudges her shoulder. He's already seen the obnoxious pictures of Robin and her parents from every year of their wedding anniversaries lining the walls of one particular hallway. It's endearing really, but Robin hates it.
"You better call me later if anything new develops between you and Eddie," Robin whispers although there's no one in the room.
Steve just nods, feeling the blood rise to his cheeks as he still refuses to verbally acknowledge the ridiculous crush that maybe fills his stomach with butterflies and all those obnoxious things.
He sighs and turns to Robin. "How am I going to survive tonight without you?"
"The world may never know," she says dramatically.
And really, the world may never know. At least, that's how Steve feels.
-:-:-:-:-:-
Okay, maybe Steve is a little bit of a mess.
Sure, Eddie has shown up, and Steve has been playing it cool, but it's like he can't take his eyes off him. He's made so much eye contact, he's sure that he's creeping Eddie out a bit or giving away his huge crush.
But he’s Steve Harrington. Like Steve “The Hair” Harrington. Inventor of the Harrington charm. All that stuff. And… Eddie has absolutely melted him into a puddle of goo. Christ.
By the time the movie starts, Steve’s head is practically buzzing with all his thoughts of Eddie is sitting next to me. What do I do? The kids are here, so I can’t make a move. But I don’t even know if he likes me.
Then, Max’s question breaks through the thoughts as she asks, “When is the next Friday the 13th this year?”
“Well, fun fact, any month that starts on a Sunday will have a Friday the 13th,” Eddie says with a proud grin.
Steve ignores the kids’ responses asking when that month is and the subsequent response from Eddie saying he doesn’t know, but he just knows the fact.
But for some reason, the fact is absolutely blowing Steve’s mind.
And yes, maybe it’s because it came from Eddie, but truly, when Steve associates fact with something, it is never fun. But this truly is a… fun fact.
He must have a look on his face because Eddie eyes him and asks, “What?”
Steve just shrugs and says, “I just… really thought the fact was… fun.” Jesus, did his Harrington charm just evaporate or something?
But he thinks the honesty of it works for Eddie who smiles softly at him. “Yeah?”
“Yeah, how did you know that?”
Eddie swings an arm casually over the back of the couch and leans in. “I’m full of fun facts, Harrington.” He gives him a winks before leaning back.
Steve leans into his space, trying to close some of the distance between them. “Tell me another one.”
Eddie laughs, “I’m going to max out my fun fact limit to one a day.”
“That doesn’t seem fair.”
Eddie tilts his head toward him. “It’s fair if it gives me an excuse to talk to you every day.”
Okay, yeah. That was blatant flirting. Which Steve is about to match, until the kids decide now is the best time to interrupt and yell at them to be quiet as the movie starts.
As the movie goes on, Eddie and Steve drift closer together while trying to remain as inconspicuous as possible in front of the kids. They haven’t talked about it, of course, but Steve’s pretty sure neither of them want to scar the kids. Or maybe, Steve just doesn’t want the kids to very accurately point out his feelings for Eddie and force him to deal with them.
Unfortunately, this also means that Steve doesn’t get a moment alone with Eddie to further flirt with him or try to push him for another fact. But maybe it’s not such a bad thing. Especially since Eddie gave him an excuse to talk to him tomorrow.
-:-:-:-:-:-
“What’s another fun fact?” Steve asks as soon as he hears Eddie on the other line.
“Christ, I just woke up. Give my brain a few seconds,” Eddie groans into the phone, voice rough with sleep.
Steve smiles. “Good morning by the way,” he says sweetly.
“Good morning,” Eddie replies back, sounding a bit less grumpy. There’s a bit of shuffling on his side of the phone before he says, “It’s illegal to feed pigeons on the streets of San Francisco.”
Steve’s jaw drops. “There’s no way!”
“Go ahead and feed a pigeon there then,” Eddie says with a laugh.
“Maybe I will. If you come with me and promise to bail me out.”
Eddie hums on the other line. “I don’t know. I think it would be fun to spend a night in a jail cell with you. Maybe I’ll join you in your crime.”
“Scratch that, I’m bailing you out.”
“That’s sounds about right, Bonnie.”
“Bonnie?” Steve questions, feeling like he’s missed something.
Eddie gasps on the other line. “Like Bonnie and Clyde!”
Steve doesn’t respond, waiting for Eddie to fill him in.
“Okay, this doesn’t count as a fun fact because this is just a story of one of the greatest crime couples to ever exist,” Eddie says excitedly, rambling on about the two.
Steve sits back, cheeks hurting from smiling a little too hard as he listens to Eddie and tries not to linger too much on the fact he compared the two of them to a real life couple.
-:-:-:-:-:-
The phone calls continue every day, but the fun facts really are just a starting point to a long drawn out conversation about whatever’s on their mind.
Robin has pretended to get tired whenever Steve calls her right after Eddie has to hang up or spends hours talking about Eddie during their shift at the Family Video. But he knows she’s secretly just as enthralled about the fun facts as he is.
“Did you know that the Statue of Liberty wears a size eight hundred seventy nine shoe?” Steve asks Robin, still in disbelief over the fact.
“Sounds like you’re talking about me,” Eddie says, somehow coming into the store without Steve noticing.
Steve’s heart beats a little harder as he turns to him. “All good things of course,” Steve says with a wink.
“I was scared you were passing off my facts to Buckley as if they were your own for a second there,” Eddie says, leaning across the the counter.
“And what if I was?” Steve challenges, leaning on the counter.
“Then, I would have to revoke my daily fun fact.”
Steve’s jaw drops. “You’d never.”
Eddie shrugs. “Maybe you’ll just have to see.”
Steve just laughs and shoves his shoulder lightly. “What are you doing here though? Coming to deliver my fun fact in person?”
Eddie blushes and looks down. “No, I was actually just… wondering if you wanted to hang out tonight.”
“Sounds good,” Steve says automatically, not even stopping to think if he has any other plans.
“I’ll see you after your shift then?” Eddie asks, tilting his head a bit.
“I’ll see you then,” Steve confirms with a smile.
Eddie nods and turns to leave.
“Oh, wait!” Steve calls out.
Eddie turns around.
“You haven’t told me your fun fact for today.”
Eddie smiles. “You’ll just have to wait until tonight. After all, it’s a pretty good excuse to make sure you come over.”
Steve scoffs, “As if that’s the only reason.”
Eddie just pulls his hair in front of his face as his smile gets a little wider. “See you soon.”
“Bye,” Steve says, waggling his fingers at him.
“Holy shit,” Robin says, startling Steve. “I thought you said your crush was hopeless.”
Steve just shrugs. “It’s Eddie, he flirts with everyone.”
“Not like that.”
Steve pauses and thinks back on their conversation and all the flirtatious banter leading up to this moment. Maybe she’s right, but also he remembers… “Did you know that bubble wrap was invented by accident?”
Robin runs a hand over her face and says, “You two are going to be the death of me, I can already tell.”
Steve just smiles and thinks maybe they will be.
-:-:-:-:-:-
A few hours later, he shows up at Eddie’s, trying not to overthink things too much.
They were just hanging out. Just… two people… hanging out… alone… who flirt all the time…. And one definitely has a major crush on the other.
Eddie opens the door to the trailer immediately after Steve knocks only a single time. “I heard your car pull up,” he explains as soon as the door is open.
“Been lingering at the door for long?” Steve teases.
“Hours,” Eddie replies dramatically. But there’s a hint of nervous energy that Steve can’t help but pick up on. “Come on in.”
Steve steps inside and is hit with the smell of spaghetti and breadsticks. “Did you make dinner?”
“Nah, I picked it up from Enzo’s,” Eddie says with a smile before closing the door behind him and gesturing to the couch where two plates are laid out. “I thought we could… watch a movie while we ate or… something.”
“Yeah, I’d like that,” Steve replies with a smile, noticing the way his response relieves some of the nervous energy that is consuming Eddie.
“Perfect, right this way madam,” he jokes as he leads Steve to the couch with his hand resting on the dip of his lower back.
Steve sits down and can’t help but ask, “So, what fun fact did you make me wait for?”
Eddie freezes and curses, “Shit, you were supposed to ask that after all of this.”
Steve’s eyebrows furrow. “Why?” He asks nervously.
Eddie fidgets with his rings and mumbles, “Okay, you can do it.” Then, he turns back to Steve and says, “Fun fact… I’ve been dying to ask you out for a while now, and… I was hoping that this could be a date? And further fun fact, I will absolutely shut up forever if I read things wrong, and I’m so sorry if I did. Oh shit. Did I? Because really, I thought-”
“Eddie,” Steve interrupts him quickly, placing a hand over his. “I think it’s finally time that I share a fun fact with you.”
Eddie nods, eyes wide and scared.
“Fun fact,” Steve says and takes a deep breath, “I’m really upset that you beat me to asking you out because I’m a damn chicken. And fun fact, I’ve liked you since I saw you interacting with Dustin for the first time. And you can confirm the fact with Robin who I told while I thought I was on my deathbed.”
Eddie’s expression slowly morphs from fear to relief to happiness. “And that’s really all a fact?”
“Yes. Fun ones I hope.”
“Very very fun,” Eddie says with a laugh. He worries his bottom lip before saying, “Fun fact, I really want to kiss you.”
“Fun fact,” Steve echoes cheesily. “I would love to kiss you.”
And he does exactly that.
(Later on, Steve calls Robin from Eddie’s house and yells, “Fun fact, I just kissed Eddie!” Into the phone so loudly that Robin complains that his “fun fact” is giving her ear damage. But she also lets him know that she’s happy for him, as long as he doesn’t keeps phrasing everything as a fun fact.
Only, Steve can’t help it, when everything involving Eddie becomes the best facts he knows.)
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sicbaby · 11 months
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Keep Quiet
ethan landry x fem!reader
contents: 18+ smut, established relationship, subby!virgin!ethan, dom!reader, handjob, public (kinda?) sex
authors note: hi!! this is my first time posting smut publicly so i’m nervous… i’m also hella rusty with writing so i hope it’s not too bad lol. hope u guys like it!! <3
It was movie night tonight at Sam and Tara’s. The whole gang would be there, except for Sam and Danny, as they had chosen to go out on a date. You had just started dating Ethan a few months prior to now, upon meeting him at the beginning of the school year when Chad introduced the two of you. He was the perfect boyfriend. smart, tall, handsome.., a bit awkward, but you loved that about him.
Everyone was sleeping over that night, and you decided that this would be the perfect opportunity to finally make a move on Ethan. He’s a virgin, and although you two are a couple, he still gets super nervous around you and definitely isn’t confident enough to make the first move. You think it’s cute, though. He’d do anything for you.
Movie night was just beginning a little after 8 pm on a cold and windy Friday night. Chad and Tara were putting together snacks in the kitchen, Mindy and Anika were at the dinner table, and you and Ethan were sat on the couch. Soon enough, the other couples had joined you in the living room. Mindy and Anika took their place all the way at the other end of the couch, while Tara and Chad opted for the floor. This left you and Ethan in a secluded corner far away from the other couples. perfect, you thought.
Tara was picking the movie tonight, and she put on the horror movie, It Follows. you silently roll your eyes at your best friend. You’ve seen this movie countless times… so you knew you were going to get bored, quickly. Nevertheless, you watched silently as Tara turned off all of the lights in the apartment, leaving the TV as the only source of light. You snuggled up to Ethan, his arm wrapped around the back of the couch, around your shoulders. You rest your head on his shoulder, and he smiles at you sweetly before turning his attention back to the TV.
It’s about 20 minutes into the movie when you really start getting bored. You let out a loud sigh, though it doesn’t catch Ethan’s attention. You and Ethan are covered by a blanket, and an idea pops into your head. Something that will surely reverse your boredom. You place your small hand on Ethan’s thigh, a little higher than normal. This catches his attention.
“You okay?” He asks, his voice a quiet whisper.
“Mhm!” You hum back, happily.
He just smiles at you and returns back to the movie.
You have a devilish grin on your face as you start slowing caressing Ethan’s thigh. Ethan’s breathing speeds up slightly, and his eyes dart to where your hand would be under the blanket for only a moment before he turns back to the movie. He leans against you a little more, and pulls you closer. He smiles again.
“What? Not enjoying the movie?” he whispers, his breath tickling your ear.
This seems to rile you up a bit, seeing how innocent your boyfriend was, and how close he had gotten to you. You just smile back at him, and scoot even closer, if possible, your fingers now beginning to crawl up towards his clothed crotch.
Ethan’s breathing accelerates again with every passing second, but he says nothing about it. His heart speeds up as he senses your hand getting closer and closer, and he feels his face burning red with embarrassment. He blushes as his breathing gets heavier yet, his eyes fixed to the screen. His lips brush against the top of your head as he breathes heavily.
You reach the top of his thigh, staying there for a moment, before boldly cupping his hard dick with your entire hand. Ethan gasps and shifts in his seat with a shocked expression.
“What… what are you doing?” he whispers.
“You can’t- we can’t-… do this right now…” He blushes brightly, pulling his hands up to cover his face in embarrassment and shyness.
“Maybe later… we can…” He blushes even further than before. He can’t bring himself to say it, but it’s very clear what he’s implying.
“Oh. Well, why not now? Aren’t you in the mood, baby?” you whisper. “It Follows doesn’t turn you on?” You tease.
Ethan lets out a breathy laugh. He doesn’t seem upset by your teasing. “I mean… it has its moments…” He blushes again, his eyes still fixed to the screen. “Not that I need to tell you about that kind of stuff, right?” He glances at you from out of the corner of his eye again, growing nervous. “Maybe that’s what I’ll do tonight…” He mutters, “You know, when the- when the movie is over…” Ethan implies that he doesn’t want you to continue your sinful actions in front of your friends, but that won’t stop you.
“Yeah, let’s do that. but for now I wanna have my fun…” you whisper. At that, you remove your hand from his hard on and slowly unzip his jeans with your index finger.
“Are you… are you gonna do what I think you’re going to do?” He says sheepishly, a slight nervous laugh escaping his lips. His face is still bright red, and he can feel how hot and hard he is right now.
“Hmm?” You hum back, playing dumb.
“…Do you want to do… that?” He whispers, a dumbfounded look on his face. He looks back at you, in a trance. He couldn’t believe it. Yes, you’re his girlfriend, but you’re also the hottest girl he’s ever laid eyes on.. and you? You! You wanted to jerk him off, right then and there? He was in heaven. As he looks into your eyes for a moment, he watches you nod.
“You do?” He says excitedly, sounding incredibly sincere as his heart races.
You giggle at how eager he is, but stop yourself for a second.
“You have to promise to be quiet, though, baby. You don’t want them to hear us, do you?” You nod to where your friends are sitting, looking deep into Ethan’s puppy dog eyes.
“Yeah... that’s right.” He gets serious, but you can see in his eyes how excited he is.. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep it quiet.” He says quietly, pulling himself a little closer.
After fully unzipping his jeans, you place your hand over his boxers, feeling him for just a moment. Ethan’s breath hitches at your touch, feeling more of you due to the thin layer left over his cock. His eyes start to roll back in his head, and you barely even touched him yet.
“O-Oh shit…” He says quietly, barely audible over the loud movie. He lets out a soft moan, biting his lip as he tries to contain his excitement.
You giggle again. “Shhh, baby.” You whisper as you start moving your fingers over his clothed dick, feeling his length.
Ethan tries not to make any noise, but he keeps letting out soft, barely audible noises, his body burning red. His entire body is tensing up, and he can feel how painfully hard he is. “Mm…” He moans quietly. You quickly shoot him a warning glance.
“I can’t help it, I’m sorry…” He says sheepishly.
You ignore his moaning this time, and gasp as you feel a wet spot on his boxers.
“Look at that… so wet already. That’s so cute.” You tease him.
“S-Shut up!” He mutters under his breath, desperation growing on his face. “S-Stop teasing me!” His words are shaky with anticipation, and he starts rocking in his seat, trying to create some friction against your hand.
It feels good for him at first, and then you stop moving your hand altogether, which causes Ethan to really work for his pleasure now. His breath hitches again, and he whimpers louder than he meant to. He looks over at you, worried. He catches you smiling at him mischievously.
“You’re so… mean..” he whispers, biting his lip to try and stifle his moan. “Please..” He begins to beg.
You start to feel bad for the poor boy. You didn’t want to tease him too much, knowing that this is the first time anyone other than himself has touched him like this. So, you reach into the hole in his boxers and pull out his long, hard cock. You can’t see it under the blanket, but you can feel the veins running up and down his length, making you grow wet just by touching him. You start to slowly move your hand up and down his hard cock, finally giving him the pleasure he was so desperate for.
“Oh…” His voice is weak, and he can feel the heat building inside him. ”Oh, that feels so…good.” He whimpers again as actual tears begin to form in his eyes. He doesn’t seem to notice, as he’s completely distracted by what’s happening.
You want to please him so bad at this point, but you can’t help but tease him one last time. You reach the tip of his cock and give it a hard squeeze.
Ethan jumps and bites his lip, trying to hide a loud moan but ultimately failing.
“W-What was that for!?... You’re so mean…” He says again, more tears threatening to slip out. He looks down at his hands, which were shaking slightly from what was happening. “Please… we’re going to get caught!” He begs quietly, glancing around. He takes in a deep breath to try and steady himself. “I-I don’t know if I can keep quiet…”
You giggle even more, you really are evil.
“Well you’re gonna have to keep quiet. ‘Cause I want you to cum… right here, right now.”
Ethan takes a deep breath, his face turning bright red. You start to stroke him again, a little bit faster, spreading his wetness all over his long cock.
“M-mm…” This makes his breathing become heavy again, his heart racing at an incredible pace. He takes in another long breath. For a moment, he wonders whether he should tell you to stop for good. Instead, he lets out a soft moan. “Please…” He doesn’t even know what’s he’s begging for at this point.
You continue stroking him fast and hard, paying extra attention to his swollen head, squeezing it every now and then.
Ethan lets out a soft cry this time, his breath shaking. His eyes are rolled back in his head. He can feel his mind starting to go blank, and his vision starts to grow fuzzy.
“Oh, y/n…” He mutters.
“Yes, baby?” you respond back.
Ethan’s heart is beating out of his chest. He tries and fails to form words. He bites his bottom lip in anticipation, unable to express anything except soft moans in response, his face burning bright red.
As he is unable to respond, you assume he must be close to reaching his high.
“Are you close, e?”
The words catch in his throat, but he nods quietly. “Yeah…” He whines silently, his body shaking even more. His breath grows heavier.
“Oh, god… keep going… please…” He whispers, his voice barely audible. He tries once again to steady himself, but fails.
“Come on sweet boy, cum for me. Cum all over my hand, e.” You urge him on, keeping a steady, fast pace.
Ethan shakes his head, tears starting to form in his eyes again.
“N-no… I can’t…” He mutters silently, changing his mind once he realizes he won’t be able to keep quiet once he reaches his orgasm, it feels too good now… his face is burning bright red in embarrassment. He looks down from the ceiling, his breathing getting louder and the heat building until he’s practically shaking.
“I-I... I... I can’t…” He says, a small whine escaping his lips. “I can’t do it... not now…” He mutters, biting his lip. “Later, though. I promise…” He mutters again, wiping away his tears. “Not now…”
You don’t know how nobody has noticed a crying, shaking Ethan on the other side of the couch, but if you two have gotten this far, you sure as hell aren’t stopping now. You grit your teeth a little, starting to squeeze his cock even harder.
“Yes, now!” you whisper-yell.
Ethan gasps, his hands balling up into fists as his breathing is uncontrollable.
“You-you have to stop…” He says quietly this time, his head rolling all over the place.
“I-I can’t hold it in…” He begs, his muscles shaking from the effort.
“Please, y/n… I can’t do it…” He whines, a pleading tone to his voice.
“Stop…” He whines, his face bright red. “I can’t..” His voice breaks slightly.
You feel bad again as tears start to stream down his face. Your poor boy, it’s way too much for him, but you know he’ll feel so good once he finally releases.
“Let go, baby… Come on… Let go for me, sweet boy. Don’t you wanna make me happy?” You pout.
Ethan’s eyes fix onto you, a look of absolute terror in his eyes.
“Y-Yes! Yes, I do…” He practically yells, the panic very visibly evident in his voice. He wants to be a good boy for you. His hands are shaking, and the heat is building up inside him. A soft whimper escapes his lips, and he can feel himself losing control.
“I…” He whines, his voice cracking slightly as he speaks, his entire body tensing up.
“I think I... I think I’m gonna…” He mutters, his face burning bright red.
Suddenly, hot spurts of cum shoot out of his poor, aching and abused cock. Little whimpers and moans fall from his pretty pink lips uncontrollably.
“Nghh- Fuck…. Holy shit… Haa…” You watch his face contort in pleasure and continue stroking him through his high, a lot slower now.
“Good boy…” You say once he slowly comes down, knowing he can hear you properly now.
Ethan’s face is bright red, and he lets out an astonished groan. His head slumps down in embarrassment, and he takes a few deep breaths. He shakes a little as he tries to calm himself.
“Oh, my god… that felt incredible…” He whispers, his heart rate starting to slow down.
“Thank you…” He mutters, resting his head against your shoulder. His face is still red, but he looks a little bit more calm than he did a moment ago.
“How… how can I ever repay you?”
You smile, thinking it’s sweet that he immediately thought of you and your pleasure.
“You can repay me later, sweet boy.” You say as you remove your hand from his now soft cock. You bring your hand to your face, and lick his spent off of your fingers.
Ethan’s eyes grow wide when he sees you licking your fingers and he gasps. He waits until you’re done before speaking again.
“I… I uh… I can’t believe you just did that…” He says sheepish, blushing brightly. “You’re disgusting…” He says, but he doesn’t sound like he means it. He laughs again.
“And evil…” He mutters with a grin.
“I can’t wait to see what else you’ll make me do…” He whispers, biting his lip, the poor boy got hard again just by seeing you lick his cum off of your fingers.
“Oh… just you wait, baby.”
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amazing-spiderlad · 2 months
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While Adam is going off on his rant during the extermination
Adam:...and your hotel is shit! And you know what else is shit?
Charlie: No Adam, please tell me what else is shit.
Adam: Your found family. Your found family sucks. *points at Angel and Cherri* Like those two, whose names I barely even care to remember-
Angel: *puts his hand out to shake* I'm Nicholas
Cherri: *puts her hand out* And I'm Lawrence
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seijorhi · 3 months
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Etched in Red: Ruby (Part One)
Event Masterlist
Hinata Shoyo x female reader
Part Two
w.c 1.3k
tw: stalking, yandere themes, implied dub/non-con.
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“I… have to go,” Kenma sighs. “Bye, Shoyo.” The last part’s tacked on like an afterthought, his attention already drawn over his shoulder, fixed on something Hinata can’t see. The source, no doubt, of those two loud thumps. 
Hinata doesn’t bother hiding his smile, signing off with a wave. It’s not the first time their video chats have ended this way, he’d wager it won’t be the last. Come to think of it, he had mentioned something about a stray a few weeks back. Maybe…
He shakes himself free of the thought, glancing down at the time on his open laptop and– shit. He’s gonna be late. 
It takes all of fifteen minutes for him to throw on some half decent clothes and bike across town. These days, with the sponsorships and all, he doesn’t have to work so hard, riding over town delivering food all night. 
He doesn’t have to, but he chooses to. 
On Friday nights, at least. Usually around six-thirty. He waits on the sidewalk, flicking through the app, declining, declining, declining, until he spots an all too familiar order. His face lights up. 
Accept. 
Being that he’s already parked out front of the restaurant, it means he’s got a little time to kill, but that’s cool, too. The staff know him by name, share knowing, vaguely amused looks when he pokes a head in to see where everything’s at. 
“Won’t be long, Shoyo,” one of them tells him, clapping a hand on his shoulder as he walks on by. They never actually ask which order he’s there to pick up.
And it’s habit, more than anything else, that has him checking said order when it’s called. Normally, a quick glance is all it needs, but… his smile fades, head tilting a little. There’s too much food. Almost twice the usual. 
The girl at the counter shrugs before he can even ask. “That’s the order we got. Girl’s probably got a friend coming for dinner.” Her eyebrows waggle, telling Hinata exactly what kind of friend she’s thinking of. “Either that or she’s real hungry.”
A wave of unpleasantness creeps under his skin, his insides twisting. He thanks her all the same, quick to bundle the food in the carry case and settle on his bike. By now, he knows the route like the back of his hand, he’s ridden it so often. He could do it blindfolded, in the dark–
… Were you having friends over? 
You don’t usually, not on Fridays. Sometimes you come back to the apartment tipsy and late, but you haven’t ever brought anyone back with you – aside from that one time, with the tall, loud girl who wouldn’t stop trying to drag you into impromptu karaoke. He’s never seen anyone else though. You’re like him, aren’t you? A creature of habit, routine. Six-thirty every Friday, the same order. 
Is it the tall girl again? Another of your girlfriends? 
Someone… else?
That uncomfortable feeling returns. Would it make a difference if it really was just a friend?
Before he knows it, Hinata’s out the front of your apartment, heart thudding away like his chest’s full of lead. Normally, you’re already there on the steps, waiting for him, because he knows you watch the tracking app like a hawk, because that’s what you do. That’s the routine – your routine; six-thirty, Friday night, you and him, on these steps. It’s his.
Hinata doesn’t realise his hands are shaking until he goes to grab your food.
“Shoyo?”
He whirls, expression bright. There you are. Lovely and beautiful in the golden light of dusk, smiling back at him like nothing’s wrong. The sight alone should ease the static beneath his skin, loosen the knots in his stomach, but it doesn’t. His smile feels too tight, his cheeks aching with it. 
Who are you having dinner with?
He doesn’t realise he’s actually spoken the words aloud until you blink at him, offering a somewhat sheepish reply. “Oh, you noticed that, did you?” How could he not? “A friend from back home. She’s staying with me for a few days, and since I apparently never shut up about this place, and it is a Friday night tradition…” you trail off, shrugging easily. “Here we are.”
Right. A friend from back home. Robotically his arm jerks forward, holding out the food for you to take. 
“Thanks for this,” you continue, blissfully unaware of the absolute, chaotic mess currently wreaking havoc inside of him. “It’s kinda weird, right, how you’re always the one picking up the order? They should really just cut out the middleman and hire you on retainer.” You’re joking, of course, the giggle tells him that much, and Hinata forces himself to chuckle along with you. 
“Same time next week, then?”
Do you hear the same faint tinge of desperation he does? He really, really hopes not. 
“You betcha,” you shoot back with a wink that seizes his heart with an invisible fist, already turning to make your way back inside to the warmth of your apartment. To the friend from back home who’s no doubt waiting for you.
From up above, a shadow moves across the window he knows is yours.
Not a date, Hinata reminds himself, just some nameless, faceless girl she used to know. One who’ll be gone soon enough. Back home, away from you. 
Honestly, it should be a relief. 
So why does it feel like his blood’s about to boil? Like the floor just opened up beneath him and everything’s falling apart? Standing on the sidewalk, hands flexed at his sides, his breath comes out in short, choppy pants. 
On wooden legs, he stumbles back to his bike. Kicks a leg over the frame and settles himself down, hands wrapped around the handlebars in a white knuckled grip. And still, he doesn’t move.
He can’t even think over the deafening roar in his head. 
This – Fridays – they’re his. Yours, yes, but his, too. And this girl, she’s… she’s intruding. She doesn’t belong. She shouldn’t be there.
And if she’s up there, what’s to stop others from stealing as well? 
Across the street, there’s a sudden banging noise, and Hinata turns just in time to see a scrawny looking tabby dart through the mouth of an alleyway. A stray.
For a while, longer than he’d probably like to admit, Hinata stares after it, his brain ticking over.
With one last, lingering glance up at your window, he huffs out a sigh and pushes off.
One thing Hinata learned during his stint as a delivery driver is that if you buzz the wrong apartment and someone’s home, more often than not they’ll let you in anyway. 
It’s only Wednesday. He’d been good, waited the four agonising nights while your friend took up space in your apartment. But she left today, and Hinata knows you, knows that you’re probably exhausted from having to put up with her, that you don’t have any plans tonight other than curling up on your couch and watching TV. 
You won’t mind him showing up instead, even if he maybe – probably – should’ve waited ‘til Friday. 
The food he’s got isn’t from your favourite restaurant, either, it’s from his, and he’s pretty confident you’re gonna love it. He brought flowers, too. Just in case. 
Excitement thrums through his veins, jittery and bright, and, unable to help himself, he bounces on his toes.
You answer the door wearing pyjama shorts and an worn, faded tee and Hinata beams because you’ve never looked prettier, even when that cute little crinkle scrunches between your eyebrows, “Shoyo, what–”
Right now, he’s supposed to say something charming, or funny, maybe. Something to smooth out the confused expression he doesn’t wanna call a frown. He should be a gentleman – he got the flowers and the food, he even went out and bought the fancy, expensive cologne Heitor recommended because Nice goes nuts for it. 
There was a plan. Or, sort of a plan.
It didn’t involve him dropping the flowers and the food on the floor, lurching forward like a man possessed to haul you into a scorching, life-altering kiss, pushing you back into your apartment and kicking the door shut behind him, but holy shit–
It absolutely should’ve.
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timkonshipper · 2 months
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young justice w/ tim, bart & kon incorrect quotes part 2
bart: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed. kon: kon: I'm gonna tell him tim: Don't you dare.
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bart: I have a plan. kon: I have the hospital and tim on speed dial.
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Tim: I want to be like a caterpillar. Kon: Explain. Tim: Eat a lot, sleep for a while, wake up beautiful. Kon: You know they have a lifespan of a week, right? Tim: Tim: That's just another highlight!
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Tim: You bought a taco? bart: Yes. Tim: From the same truck that hit kon?! bart, with a mouthful of taco: Well, me starving ain't gonna help him
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bart: Tell us… Is there a spirit in this house? Spirit, through the board: YES. tim: Great! Rent is due on the first of the month. kon: Oh, and movie night is on Friday if you want to hang out. Spirit: WAIT, WHAT—
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tim: Everyone thinks I'm this soft cute person but I'm not! kon: tim, you cried for an hour after stepping on a bug yesterday. tim: It had feelings! It was probably going home to dinner and I killed it! bart: ...It was a bug. tim: It was a BEETLE, and its wife is definitely worried sick, wondering where it is, and I really don't get why you all think I'm so sentimental because I'm not! kon: ... bart: ... tim: Stop looking at me like that!
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bart: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death? tim: How am I supposed to know? kon: You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult. tim: *sighs* tim: You wouldn't be trapped.
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tim, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career! kon, in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you’re staying home and having my kids bart: what the fuck are you guys doing? tim: playing systemic oppression
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tim: You love me, right, kon? kon: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.
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bart, struggling to keep upright in their 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don’t really think heels are for me tim, pointing at them and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK.
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bart: Change is inedible. kon: Don't you mean inevitable? bart, spitting out coins: No, I did not.
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series-thoughts · 1 year
Text
At the cabin, after hunting another Chucky down and having to listen to his shit talking.
Nica: We're okay, aren't we?
Andy: What? Of course we are.
Nica: And you know I love you?
Andy: Yes, of course.
Nica: And?
Andy: And?
Nica: I say 'I love you,' and you say...
Andy: Oh sorry, likewise.
Nica: Likewise?
Andy: I love you likewise.
Nica: *smiling* I love you likewise, too.
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pleasingsatellite · 1 year
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toxic socialite harry and y/n
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liked by harrystyles, gemmastyles and 352,829 others
yourinstagram in paradise 🌊
view all 2,628 comments
randomperson an angel!
randomperson girl the photoshop is getting out of hand…
↳yourinstagram all natural babe 😚
harrystyles god damn i’m lucky
↳yourinstagram all for you babe 🫶🏻
randomperson weren’t harry and y/n literally just fighting in a club like a week ago?
↳randomperson they literally break up every other week it’s nothing new
↳yourinstagram hey it’s more like every other month get it right
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liked by yourinstagram, niallhoran and 573,829 others
harrystyles got the hottest girl on this boat in my lap.
view all 3,627 comments
niallhoran hey man…I’m on the boat too
↳harrystyles hence why I said “girl”
randomperson they’re so cute when they’re actually being happy together
yourinstagram 🫡
thesun how long y’all think this is gonna last?
↳harrystyles a week tops, she’s mental mate
↳yourinstagram you’re sleeping outside tonight
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liked by harrystyles, randomperson and 473,729 others
yourinstagram better than ever
view all 3,629 comments
randomperson need their life fr, born into money and they just get to party
↳yourinstagram hey! we also brunch and shop don’t minimize our contributions to society
harrystyles hey pretty lady
↳ yourinstagram come over?
randomperson she’s so hot he doesn’t deserve her I heard he was fucking around with some model on the side 😗
↳randomperson pretty sure I saw him kissing said model the other night….
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liked by randomperson, randomperson and 45,395 others
deuxmoi I have confirmed this with multiple sources, sounds like they’re officially broken up…again.
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randomperson I could see them ending from a mile away
randomperson my man threw away a 10 and for what?
randomperson they’ll literally be back together in like 2 weeks
↳randomperson idk I saw y/n in a club on Friday with said NBA player and they seemed relatively serious the PDA was crazy
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liked by randomperson, randomperson and 13,739 others
thesun Fun in the sun for Harry Styles who recently cheated on his on again off again girlfriend y/n was seen in Turks and Caico’s getting rather snuggly with the model he cheated on her with. Could this truly be the end for the socialite couple?
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randomperson my man has no shame but tbh…i get it
randomperson imagine cheating on your gf and then just flaunting it in public
yourinstagram lol what a joke
↳randomperson oop….you deserve so much better girl
↳yourinstagram and I have it don’t worry 🤭
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liked by randomperson, yourinstagram and 20,728 others
dailymail new couple alert! Socialite y/n was spotted leaving dinner with NBA player Devin Booker following her very messy break-up with fellow socialite Harry Styles. This could get mess people! Buckle up.
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randomperson good for her! never let ‘em see you sweat girl!
randomperson her and harry gotta be #1 most toxic couple rn
↳randomperson you’re right cause we both know they’ll be making out at some club next month like nothing happened
randomperson rich people problems seem like a lot of work
yourinstagram we’re cute 🤷🏻‍♀️
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liked by randomperson, devbook31 and 472,829 others
yourinstagram imagine cheating on me?
view all 4,638 comments
randomperson FUMBLED THE BAG!
randomperson damn she’s too hot for him
devbook31 can’t relate
↳yourinstagram 🫶🏻
harrystyles well damn
↳yourinstagram go away.
Please go read the Magnolia Parks series it’s consumed my life and this is lowkey inspired by that because i love for drama and that book got the most amount of drama I’ve ever read so if you like angst READ IT!!!! enjoy love you say it back
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