#super confused about my anxiety rn

[roturo]

SUPER SHY megumi fushiguru x f!reader

summary: way too scared to make a move on your brother's best-friend.

warnings: nsfw, aged up characters, reader is yuuji's little sister, reader is shy, semi-public, sexual tension, bad pick up lines lol, not beta read, fluff?, not finished.

A/N: This was a draft I wanted to post before I went for a break, I didn't have the motivation to finish it, mostly because of how insecure I am with my writings rn, but I know myself, and I know I wouldn't post this one after my break and i'm sorry if I didn't finish it but here it is.

It's your second semester in jujutsu tech, and you can't still seem to stop looking for Fushiguro Megumi.

He's in fourth semester, class president, and quite popular in your classroom. Mostly because of how handsome he is and every girl is thirsting over him.

You never understood the hype until you saw him for the first time at your brother's house. It's been, what? nearly a year? They were doing a school project, more like he's doing a school project while Yuuji stayed playing videogames in the living room. He was wearing an oversized black crewneck with some jeans. Simple choose of clothes, but why does he look extremely handsome in them?

¨Uh... hi.¨ You entered the living room with no clue Yuuji would be here with his friend, at least he could notify you about having friends over so you could change into more appropriate clothes. But I guess some tiny shorts and your brother's T-shirt wasn't bad.

¨Oh! This is Megumi¨ He introduced you by saying your name and for him to know both of you are step-family.

Since then you could never take your eyes out of him.

You told your friends about him and how you could never approach him, even when he's in your house. Something about his aura made you really shy to approach him or even come out of your room to see him. And when Yuuji introduced you to Nobara so you could be 'shopping besties' things could'nt get worse.

Nobara is a great person, she's not the problem. It's her friend group. It's Megumi Fushiguro and his hot damn persona.

You couldn't even keep eye contact with someone else in the group when you go out, because you were fucking scared for him to see your loving eyes that you could swear they would leave those hearts from your eyes like cartoon's.

Nobara knew about your crush for Fushiguro, since she's like your older sister. And to say she didn't accidentally slipped your little crush for him on the cafeteria with Fushiguro and Yuuji present.... would be the dead of you.

At first, Yuuji wouldn't believe it, but then he would remember all those days at his house, going out, your little glances towards Megumi, and 'casual' questions about him... brought him back to reality.

Second, he went through 3 stages. Anger, emotion, and... confussion.

He was furious for the fact you had a crush on his best-friend, which later turned into a fantasize like the kissing booth, one of the movies Gojo-senseid made him watch. But... that brought him into what would he do? Is Megumi good for you? Would he protect you like he does? Will you be happy?

He had mixed opinions about this. Most of them were good, but two or three were bad. Maybe his anxiety?

And Megumi? well, he was confused.

He knows he has plenty of girls falling for him, but he never expected you to be one of them. He thought you were pretty, really, really pretty... but he could never do that to his best friend, could he?

He had kinda of a crush for you too, but never thought of going this far.

Days passed and the topic stayed untouched, not until Yuuji asked Megumi to talk alone.

And it was the most uncomfortable moment Megumi could go through.

¨I just wanted to tell you both of you have my blessing if you ever become something, a really nice couple, both of you are really smart and have a difficult character, not that matters. But I also wish you the best if you ever get married, OHHH how cute, could I be flower guy? Okay, that's a topic for the future, and oh! also- I ALSO give you my blessing to the both of you, mostly to the kid-¨

¨Yuuji, what?-¨

¨Both of you would have really pretty and powerful children, hoping they have more of my sister appearance rather than yours... but don't forget children are for later, LATEEER.¨

Megumi would never tell you about his feelings for you, unless you make the first move, but he's been interested in you since your transfer to Jujutsu Tech in Tokyo. You were just the cutest thing, always blushing and following behind him and Yuuji until you got into your house. You were never outspoken, but you would never let anyone walk all over you, the few times he's seen you fight seared into the back of his mind. The look of unshaken determination along with the way your body moved with your cursed technique had the front of his pants tighten a bit. He wants you, even to this day, but doesn't know exactly how to take that step forward.

You pause your eating for just a second to catch Megumi's eyes staring you down. Did you do something wrong? Did he no like the way you eat? There was little you could do that change that, honestly. As you feel your face brighten and your eyes widen, you feel your confidence swell. You're gonna change him off-guard.

This was it. You were going to say it despite all your classmates being in close proximity. You were never going to live this down.

"Y-You've been staring at me all night, Fushiguro-san... Rather than undressing me with your eyes, did you want to... take this somewhere private and take it off... for real? Don't... don't act like I don't know Nobara told you about my crush... Yuuji can't keep his mouth closed.¨

You're sure he doesn't even know your name and knows you as 'Yuuji's little sister'

But you were really nervous while thinking how to finally make him yours. So shyness can go for a little bit, and fuck it.

You can feel three sets of eyes burning into your stuttering and blushing head, your eyes glaring holes in the half-eaten rice bowl in front of you. You can't believe that came out of your mouth, although it definitely took you a while to get it out. You were way too embarrassed to even look him in the eye.

Megumi couldn't believe the sweet, innocent and shy image he had about you had actually said that, to him of all people. He could do nothing but stare at you in pure shock for a few seconds before returning to his neutral nonchalant state, watching you slowly simmer in your seat. Well, at least he didn't have to take the first step. He was definitely going to take you up on that tempting offer, but he couldn't say that in front of everyone. He knows they wouldn't leave this alone, pestering the two of you until you spill the details.

Feeling the awkward silence weighing down on your shoulders, you shoot out of your chair and turn to head to the restroom, where you will hang your head in shame for the rest of the night. "I, um... I-I'll be back." You make a beeline for the women's restroom, tucked away in a corner behind a few plants. You were definitely going to puke this time.

-

Back at the table, Megumi continues to eat his food, the only change since your departure being him eating a bit slower, trying to process the situation. You justly openly invited him to engage in sexual intercourse with you in front of your confused friend AND brother. Whether it be a joke or something more serious, he needed to hear it again clearly from your mouth for confirmation. The question is, how is he going to do that with you stuck in that restroom?

His entire train of thought crashes when he feels something cold drip on his shirt, his dark eyes darting down to see a wet noodle slowly sliding from its spot on his shirt to land on his dark jeans, another stain forming on the denim material.

"So, it DID have an effect on him." Nobara glares at Yuuji, who stares wide-eyed at his best friend before feeling his lips stretch into a grin. "[Y/N] finally shot her shot! Oh, my little sister grows up so fast!" The light-haired man hums happily before digging into the rest of his meal.

Megumi places the dirty noodle on a napkin before standing and turning to the restroom. "I'm going to check on her," he mumbles to his friends before walking briskly to the restrooms, missing the knowing looks between the patrons at the table. 

"Five bucks if they walk out together." "Deal....Wait, we're betting about my sister here..."

Megumi stands between the two doors, hesitant about entering the women's restroom. He didn't need unnecessary attention or worse, getting everyone kicked out and ruining their meal. However, the way you tried to keep eye contact with him as you stutter your way through your flirting had him listening more to his groin rather than his brain. With a quick prayer that he wouldn't get caught redhanded, he slips into the nearly empty women's restroom, seeing a pair of small feet at the very last stall.

You continue to sulk against the wall as you hear someone enter the restroom. You sigh softly, arms uncrossing to press your hands against your still blushing face. You could never face him again. You had one chance and you absolutely blew it. You were sure he was going to either ignore what you said or completely reject you on the spot. Your heart wouldn't be able to handle the response, so you decide to sneak out through the restroom window and text everyone a sincere apology.

You reach up to unlock the stall's door, pushing yourself to stand and slipping out to be face-to-face with Megumi Fushiguro, yelping as his hands press onto your shoulders and push you back into the stall. You can only look at him in shock as he locks you both in, the awkward silence from earlier crushing your lungs. Oh, no. He was going to reject you right now, wasn't he?

"Fushiguro-san, I'm really sorry about--"

"Did you mean what you said?"

Every word dies on your tongue as he closes the gap between you two and cups your face in his large hands, your body melding against his own. Holy shit, you were NOT expecting this development. A few dying wheezes leave your mouth before you realize your speaker box isn't going to work any time soon. You rapidly nod your head, feeling his grip tighten just a little.

"Good, because here's my answer."

You always wondered what Megumi's lips would taste like back when you saw him for the first. A hint of spearmint and cinnamon, honey and strawberries, hell you even thought he'd taste like cookies and cream ice cream. You can't focus on the flavor when the feeling is the only thing you're thinking about, his lips moving smoothly over your lips. Your eyes widen before you hastily respond, burying your hands in the front of his shirt.

This was blowing your mind right now. You couldn't believe he was here in the women's restroom with his lips moving sensually against your own and his hands reaching down to grip your hips, but frankly, you didn't care too much. You've dreamed of this moment for years and you were not going to let it slip easily. Throwing your arms over his shoulders, you lose yourself to him, trying to keep in all your little noises the longer you were connected.

The taller sorcerer pushes a knee between your legs, letting his hips slide between and his hands lift you up by your bottom, getting a good squeeze. You were as soft as he thought and dreamt of. You were going to be the death of him for sure. One hand slithers up your shirt to brush his fingers against your ribcage, feeling lace brush against his fingertips. He groans softly against your mouth, pushing his tongue inside to assert dominance and letting his second hand join the first when you lock your legs against his waist. No turning back now.

You gasp then groan as his hands grasp the tops of your bra and yank them downward, latching onto your fleshy mounds while his hips grind slowly against yours, feeling your underwear dampen from the stimulating touches and breath-stealing kisses. Speaking of breathing, you part lips from him only to release a filthy moan as he pinches and pulls at your hardening nipples from underneath your shirt. Looking up at him with glassy eyes and drool dribbling down the edges of your lips, you could feel his erection grow and press against you harder. You wanted him, right here and right now.

"F-Fushi--"

¨Megumi, it's Megumi for you.¨

¨M..megumi-¨

The sound of the door swinging open makes you two freeze, eyes wide as whoever enters the restroom walks to the sink and stays put for a while, assuming she was fixing her hair or makeup. You grind your hips down against the tense man, feeling his grip on your breasts tighten slightly before he slams his lips against yours again to silence you. The two of you stay fixed in that position for three minutes before the woman decides her appearance is worthy and leaves the room, gasping for air as you pull away from each other.

"We... we should leave, huh?" You chuckle nervously as he slowly sets you up, straightening his clothes before clearing his throat. You also adjust your clothes and run your hands through your hair, trying your best to steady the blood flow in your face. You were sure you were tinted even redder than before.

"We're going to my place. I hope you're ready." With those few words, he almost zooms out of the restroom, leaving you surprised yet turned on. He didn't reject you or ignore you. In fact, he reciprocated your feelings, about to show you a good time back at his place. You get your mind back together before finally leaving the restroom, walking back to your table to see Megumi handing Yuuji a few paper bills.

#megumi fushiguro smut #jujutsu megumi #megumi fushiguro #megumi imagine #megumi smut #megumi x reader #jjk megumi #megumi fluff

[normal-internet-user]

OKKK OK look technicality speaking,,, i'm supposed to be indulging in the sleebies rn. BUT my brain would NOT let me sleep until i commished this to ya!!



your peepaw leo answer? fantabulous. jaw dropping, awe-inspiring, hit just the spot. Extravagantly whimsically stupendous. ultra super mega amazing. need i say more? YES AND I WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO-

yet. ☝🏼 & hear me out here.

*folds hands all neat and preppy in front of me, leans in close so we're nose-to-nose, all business* 

I have a storm a-brewin'. Up in the ole noggin'? Knock knock.

SPECIFICALLY ABOUT Reader and how they interact with Present (or to them, Past!) Leo!!

They're not as forthcoming as Casey, and I imagine that even after the war is won and the apocalypse is therefore prevented, that initial hostility would fade! … but instead it’d become … kind of awkward? They don't hate Leo, it's just. 

Not the Leo they know.

Not the Leo they know and love and miss and mourn and glory to be, they’ve got their work cut out for them.



Reader is still coping with the loss of everything. the breathing techniques alongside Master Michelangelo's high EQ teachings on handling emotions help a lot more than they'd expected.

And!! The present (past??? aughguhghhhh) Hamatos are a big help too!! With time, it all does get better ^^)

(AKA: everyone's ✨traumatized & coping together✨, m'kay? m'kay.)

This all boils down to Reader and how they re-evaluate (rebuild?) their relationship with Leo. The Leo in THIS timeline that they helped save. How they heal from their wounds, inside and out, and try to make the best of what they’ve got. Because if the future taught them one thing: it was that no matter what, you've gotta keep going. Don't give up.

Canon plotline following n' stuff before the fluff downpour!

Here's a hc format for random moments in the way I see it bc it's easier? Is it? (/lh)

When Leo was finally released from the Escape Pod and everyone took in how haggard he looked— pale, shaking, horrified at what he just witnessed,

When he snapped and lunged at Casey, 

Reader’s reaction was swifter than a bullet. 

They swept in front of their brother, effectively and terrifyingly going toe-to-toe, snout-to-nose with this Leo, snarling out a bite of their barely-concealed rage. Their eyes are slits, their teeth are fangs poised to strike, and the venom is promised.

They’re just as dangerous as him at that moment.

The threat goes unsaid: Back. Off.

Their heart is racing like crazy, alarm bells ringing in their head and frustrated tears build up in their eyes. They're swimming— no. Drowning in confusion. In feelings. In dread. In nausea. In grief.

They didn't care what iteration of Leo this was or what they'd ever face: the image of Papa, whatever version it was, even thinking of bringing harm to Casey was enough to send them teetering over the edge.

Time travel. Alien invasion. From “Apocalypse Is The Norm” to “You Can Stop This Hellscape From Ever Happening BUT You Wipe Out Everything You've Ever Known Along With it.”

....

yeah that's enough to make a grown man cry.



Reader quickly realizing that, amongst their simmering anger, there was a kind of fear. Not just the impending sense of anxiety at everything that was happening around them, but this was familiar.

Papa had never been an inherently volatile person (turtle? snrt), but he was a Leader.

His very presence demanded respect. 9.∞ times outta 10, he got it.

Despite the image of their beloved dad momentarily crumbling within meeting his younger counterpart, Reader can’t help but cling to that familiarity.

The familiarity of that intimidation – that regard – in Leonardo. 

He was pissed, that’s for sure. And Reader was actually kind of scared. Their Papa never was a violent person per se, but he’s had his moments. 

It was kind of uncanny, seeing the young shards of those traits come to be. To see this young Leo, with so much ahead of him, slowly but surely become the man you knew and was raised by. 

In spite of yourself, you could feel that same reverence and respect bloom in your chest. It hurt too, because it felt like it was for the wrong reasons. 

Yet, you digress.

Besides, you were never one to hold fast to grudges – it was poisonous. And despite feeling like you were being poisoned slowly, in to out, you knew it’d pass. 

It was along the lines of something Uncle Mikey had told you once ...

“What a caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.' Never forget, sunshine. Even when it feels like your world is ending, and you're caught right in the midst of it all?

... You can choose to birth a beautiful butterfly, ready to take on the world. You're a butterfly; every great thing starts small, no?” 

So. You watched Leo out of the corner of your eyes. Listened to Junior as he sparkled and praised your young uncles, telling them the truth of their characters in your timeline.

—andddd a flash of hot annoyance flared up in your chest when your brother piped up something about Papa’s rescue of a resistance camp to the teenager him,

You tried to settle the war within yourself. How would you fight both at once? Not when there was an entire one unfolding right in front of your very eyes. 

. . . you wanted your Papa.

⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆ ;༊

this has been,,, the first part of many a Wal-Mart ad. BA-DUM-TSS!

i'd add way more but my eyes feel like they're about to fall out jsjsj

*air kithes (ง ˃ ³ ˂)ว ⁼³₌₃⁼³ /p and lounges on your back porch, cracking open a cold juice pouch* Penny for your thoughts, toots?

Ok, first of all: Dear (/p) you are a freakin genius- now let us discus some things over a juice pouch.

READER POST-MOVIE/DURING THE MOVIE HEADCANONS

....................................

You are 100% percent correct about all of that.

Firstly, when April manages to knock both of you out and drag you back to the Lair,

Casey is much more open, and excited.

You're treating them as a potential threat.

I'm talking resting bitch face, broski.

Sure, in the future, these people raised you, but this isn't the future.

So you glare and let CJ do the talking, because at the moment your still processing,

And your anger could lash out at anyone in this room.

When Leo turns on Casey, your reaction was like second nature.

You had alot of moments during the apocolypse where if you took to long to assess the threat, you were dead.

So when Leo lunged at Casey, and your mind locked him in as a threat,

Those familiar instincts of, "Danger: protect family" kicked in.

Weapon drawn, teeth beared, you looked more feral than Leo,

But you were scared too.

You were so fucking scared.

You knew this wasn't your papa,

You knew that.

But to see his younger counter part so angry, so ready to be violent was terrifying.

You'd only ever seen your papa angry and violent one time in your life.

It happened when you had to drag Casey back to base, half dead and yourself much worse for wear.

You'll never forget the violence that shone in his eyes at the sight of his children.

One unconcious and bleeding,

The other hardly able to stand.

You have no idea what happened to the officer that sent you and Casey out,

But he wasn't seen around much after that, most said he was demoted to work in the more... laboring parts of the base.

Looking into Leo's eyes at this moment, you see a very similar violence to that day,

But what scares you is that violence is now directed at your brother.

After Casey explains none of this happened in your guys' time,

Leo shoved past you, and had his little, "We're going because I say so" moment.

You were beyond pissed.

Here was his team, telling him to wait,

To hold on a second, to come up with a plan,

And he was just- ignoring them.

But, you kept silent and followed Casey when he left with Leo,

You'd be damned if you left your brother alone with this idiot.

In the turtle tank, while Casey practically sings his praises, you can't help the scowl that builds on your face.

Casey kept using present tense, "You are.", and, "you were" in Donnie's case,

He just couldn't seem to grasp that this wasn't your family, future tense should be used.

Not past, not present, future.

Because he's not technically wrong,

But it still rubs you the wrong way for him to compare your Papa, to this guy.

In the subway tunnels, you get seperated from Casey, you end up with Donnie and Mikey.

Mikey had to physically pull you into the tank kicking and screaming.

You needed to be next to your brother.

You had always been right beside each other your whole lives,

You were terrified.

When you were in that tank, and it was on the verge of crumbling, you started having flashbacks of the time Kraang had attacked your first home.

You were so small, just a little kid waiting for Papa to come find you.

You were on the verge of sobbing as you desperatly tried getting ahold of Casey.

Skipping ahead to the end of the movie,

You didn't wanna let go of Casey's hand.

It's odd, knowing that you don't need to see what's lurking in every corner,

Because there's nothing there anymore.

You don't have to be scared.

That's when you notice the shimmer of something clipped to your boot.

Looking down, you see a blue, star shaped hair clip.

How it had managed to stay on your boot this entire time was a mystery,

But what was less of a mystery was how it got there.

You knew your papa had placed it there.

You grabbed the hair clip of your boot, tears welled in your eyes,

Then you let out a choked sob.

You clutched the hair pin so tightly you might draw blood, and you sobbed and sobbed.

It was like all your emotions poured out at once, you didn't even know which one you were feeling.

It was a mix of grief, sadness, anger, and anguish.

Casey pulled you close, muttering how proud he was of you, you'd done so well.

"Sensei would be proud." he said, "Papa would be proud of you."

You clung to your brother like he was your life line, because in a way he was.

He was all you had left of your life before.

Post-movie, you're awkward around Leo to say the least.

During the movie, you were angry with him, mostly because of the paralelles between him and Master Leonardo.

But post-movie it's just awkward,

You can't look at him without being reminded of the father figure you lost.

All you wanted was for your papa to hold you,

To sing you to sleep like he used to do to hide the sounds of the monsters lurking above.

You just want your papa- no, you need your papa.

You need to hear his voice again, sure, technically you hear it every day but it's not the same!

You need to hear him.

You've taken to replaying audio recordings through your own mask.

Laying in your bed late into the night, replaying the same video's until your papa's voice lulls you into an uneasy sleep...

....................................

My thoughts for you my dearest! (/p) free of charge!

I plan on writing some fluffy Papa Leo oneshots sometime soon, not to worry!

For now, have these!

#tmnt #tmnt x reader #normie rambles #x reader #rottmnt #leonardo x reader #leonardo x reader tmnt #peepaw leo #platonic tmnt x reader #casey jones junior #casey jones x reader #casey junior #casey junior x reader platonic #leo rottmnt #rottmnt x reader #save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #normie writes

[mj-102009]

First Time for Everything (Colby Brock x oc)

I could always tell when they had a bad idea they were too afraid to share.

First Corey started acting up, he asked a bit more than usual about my line of work and how I dealt with the spirits. I told him honestly and that was that.

Then Sam. “Can I use your camera? Like the good one”

I nodded. “Of course. Why?”

He fidgeted. “Video idea.”

That was my breaking point.

Me: What are you idiots planning?

Colbyyyyyyy: What?

Samuel Adams: Nothing

Corey: Huh?

Jake From Statefarm: wdym Avery nothing’s going on we swear lol

Me: Lyin’ to me Jake Webber?

Jake From Statefarm: no

Me: istfg ill text tara rn

Jake From Statefarm: Been real nice boys o7

Colbyyyyyyyy: Bitch don’t do it

Samuel Adams: Jake fucking no

Me: Jake.

Me: Now.

Jake From Statefarm: We got tickets to the queen mary

Colbyyyyyyyy: Bro rlly

Corey: Dawg

Samuel Adams: Avery don’t get mad

I gaped at my phone for a solid minute before typing a response.

Me: Are ya’ll fuckin mental???

Me: That place is fucking dangerous

Me: Like-

Me: At least be protected???

Me: Please

Colbyyyyyyyy: Ofc

Samuel Adams: Yeah

Samuel Adams: How do we go about that?

Me: Sage and crystals

Colbyyyyyyyy: Or we can just wing it

Corey: ^

Jake From Statefarm: I like that idea

Me: NO

Me: IDIOTS

Colbyyyyyyyy: C'mon man what could go wrong?

Me: A LOT OF SHIT

Me: DEMONS

Me: NEGATIVE SPIRITS

Me: POSSESSION

Me: SEX DEMONS

Corey: Sex demons???

Jake From Statefarm: Listen Ave if smth goes wrong you can say i told u so

Me: Idiots

Me: Fine

“Are you super sure?” I asked Colby for the tenth time.

He chuckled. “Yes we’re all sure, just like exploring.”

I groaned. “Nothing like that Colbs, DEMONS MAN,” I paused for effect. “DEMONS.”

“Avery stop worrying we’ll be fine,” Sam chimed in.

I was practically fuming, my phone was held in a vice grip and I had begun to pace the floors. “Just…be safe and call if anything happens, or if you need help.”

“Yes ma’am,” He laughed. “Text you when we land.”

I looked around the empty house after the call, all the boys were away for filming and my friends were busy. Now left alone to my anxieties, I dropped on the couch and sighed.

I woke up to my bedroom door being knocked on softly, a groan rose from my throat and I rolled over onto my side. “Go away,” I mumbled into my pillow.

“Avery?”

Immediately I was awake and sprinting to my door. On the other side stood a wilted Jake, he had his backpack on his shoulder, tearstained hoodie still on, face red after a cry.

“Jake?” I said, not wasting any time to gather him in my arms and bring him in for a hug, not caring why he was in tears in my door frame. “You okay?”

He squeezed my quick and rubbed his face with a shrug. “I’ll be fine, going to Tara’s place– but, uh,” he rubbed the back of his neck and looked at me, “Colby’s the one to be worried about.”

I swore and bolted down the hall, sliding to a quick stop at his door, I knocked. “Colby?”

No answer.

“It’s Avery,” I said softly. “Jake didn’t tell me what happened, I’m sure it was a lot. I get it of course, we don’t have to talk about anything if that’s what you want.”

No answer, just a soft click of the door being unlocked.

“I’m coming in,” I slowly opened the door, and poked my head in. “Cole?”

He was on the edge of his bed, a black tank top and plaid pajama shorts, I sharply inhaled through my nose at the sight of his face. A few tear streaks marked where he’d cried, slowly he looked at me and I felt my heartbreak at the confused look in his eyes.

“You were right,” He said slowly. “About…everything.”

In a few short steps I was beside him and wiping away the signs of sadness with my hands lightly cupping his face. “Oh bubs I’m so sorry.”

He chuckled and closed his eyes, leaning into my touch. “Don’t say that, it was our choice.”

“I should have done more to stop you,” I told him.

The room fell silent for a moment, just me allowing my friend to seek comfort in my warmth. “Do you want to tell me what happened now or do you want to sleep?”

He opened his eyes and pulled back from my palms. “Uh, it was kind of a lot…”

In hushed tones and shaky words he told me the full story of what had happened in B340, I listened and wiped away his tears as they fell. At the end I pulled him to my chest and his hands sought to bunch in my hoodie, we fell back onto the bed and I slid up to the pillows.

Colby pulled me closer and rested his head on my arm to use as a pillow, both arms still around me and his breath brushed my collar. 

“Sleep now?”

He nodded and kept his eyes closed as I ran my hand through his hair.

“G’night,” He mumbled.

“Goodnight bubs.”

I vividly remember that night. Colby and I curled up in his room while I whispered reassurances in his ear about what they’d seen, or rather heard. 

The next day I’d given Sam a huge hug and he cried for a few minutes. Then the rest of the boys slowly came over, with Kat, Tara, and I watching them and helping with what we could. Later in the week Aaron told them about the recording and I marveled at the light tapping.

It took them a while to take it all in and release this to the public. But shortly after they did, Colby came into my room to talk.

I was sitting at my desk editing through my most recent video, I heard a series of muttering from outside my door before a knock.

“Come in,” I called, spinning in my seat to face the door.

Colby shyly walked in and stood in the middle of the room with an awkward expression. I blinked and stared blankly at him.

“Need something bubs?” I ask, amused. “Or just here to hang?”

He rubbed his neck. “I, uh, I had a question.”

“Shoot,” I told him.

“Where did you start when you went ghost hunting for the first time?”

I blinked and racked my brain for an answer. “Ummmm, I think it was a small cabin a few miles from my old house in Kansas.”

His shoulders sagged and he sighed. “Well shit.”

“What’s going on bubs?” I asked.

“The boys and I were just doing some thinking,” he said cryptically.

I chuckled and crossed my arms. “Last time you lot did some thinking I ended up babysitting a gaggle of grown men for days.”

“We were going to look into ghost hunting,” He admitted quietly.

The room took a brief pause of silence, my eyes widened and my hand ran through my hair slowly. “Really?” I said softly.

He nodded. “Yeah, we did a lot of thinking and realized how exhilarating that felt.”

“It’s amazing,” I agreed. “But that’s a sudden switch…are you sure that you’re ready for it?”

“Ave,” He said, stepping closer. “You don’t need to baby me.”

I huffed out a laugh. “I know that but still,” he met my eyes. “You’re my best friend and I don’t want to see you hurt.”

Colby slowly tugged me up from my seat into a hug. “Thank you.”

My eyebrows furrowed. “For what?”

“For being you.”

That was 3 years ago.

“WHAT’S UP GUYS IT SAM AND COLBY!” Colby exclaimed in his usual fashion. 

I rolled my eyes with a bright smile. 

Sam cleared his throat and looked seriously at the camera. “Today we are back…at The Queen Mary.”

The two of them visibly shivered, I stepped forward and lightly set my hand on Colby’s back. He looked at me and back to the camera. “Today we are joined by the woman you all know and love…AVERY!”

I laughed and pinched his cheek. “Don’t forget Amanda and Matt.”

Sam shouted out the other two and they gave their introductions. Finally they started to talk about the last time they were here.

“Soooo we’re back,” Sam stated looking at Colby.

He sighed and dropped his head. “I vividly remember swearing to never come here again.”

“Hey last time I didn’t get to experience it,” I reminded them.

“Oh yeah,” Colby said. “Not sure if you guys know this but the last time we came here Avery was very insistent that we don’t go.”

I rolled my eyes again. “Did they listen? Noooo.”

“And now you’re back,” Amanda said.

The tour went well, of course with the occasional scare and jump on Matt’s part.

We sat on the floor of the ballroom, me in between Colby and Amanda.

“I’m opening up a line of communication for the spirits that reside on the Queen Mary,” Amanda called softly. “I call out specifically to the man John to come to me, anyone is welcome but I’m speaking directly to him.”

Sam set out a few rempods and such and Amanda pointed out a few people entering the room.

“You can touch any of these devices or make any noise to show us you’re here,” I added.

“They don’t know what those are.”

I rolled my eyes, I will always respect Sam and Colby’s decisions but this medium is really getting on my nerves. I understand that she can see the dead and such and I don’t doubt this but every word I say is “wrong”.

“My name is Avery, this is Sam, Colby, Matt, and Amanda,” I called around the room. “We have no harmful intentions, we only wish to hear your story.”

The room went quiet for a moment Sam opened his mouth to say something. “I there any-”

Knock.

Colby stiffened and searched for me, I grabbed his hand and smiled reassuringly. He smiled back and didn’t say anything.

Amanda began talking again about what she could see and what she felt. Sam asked a few questions and none of them were answered, Matt stood up and wanted to test something. I frowned sympathetically when I realized what was wrong. When he sat back down I patted his knee and mouthed ‘It’s okay’. Colby was watching me and I settled back next to him.

“What?” I whispered.

“Nothing,” He said quickly, turning to look at anything else.

They walked into the room first and began to just talk amongst themselves about that night. I stood leaning against the wall thinking Amanda came next to me.

“Can I help you?” I said politely.

She blinked rapidly. “No?”

I nodded. The silent filled the room for a moment before she sighed and whirled on me. “I feel like you don’t like me.”

“What? No,” I said, waving my hands. “I’m just not a people person, and I’m not super open with everyone I meet.”

A lie, she pissed me off with every word that fell from her mouth.

She tilted her head at me and frown.

Finally saving me from this conversation, Colby opened the door. “Avery, come in here real quick.”

I sprung up from my spot and walked through the door. Waves upon waves of just anger and agony flooded my senses, I winced and sat on the bed.

Sam spread his arms out to show off the room. “Well?”

“It’s freaky all right,” I nodded. 

Colby laughed and pointed the camera at me. “Get why we got so freaked out?”

“For being ghost hunting virgins at the time?” I grinned. “Yes. And this place is…” I looked around and shuddered at the feeling of being watched. “I don’t like it.”

“For those of you that don’t know Avery or are new to the channel, she’s a really strong empath that we bring along to get the feel for the area,” Colby told the camera.

I raised an eyebrow. “And because I've been your best friend since middle school?”

Sam waved his hand in a dismissive manner. “Blah Blah Blah.”

“Asshole.”

We brought the rest of the gang in and I screwed my eyes shut as I felt the entity rear its face again. It seemed like Amanda did too because she had the same look that I did.

Sam clapped his hands together and grinned. “Ready?”

“30 MINUTES OF FOOTAGE.”

Sam was peeved to say the least, pacing around the room and ears practically smoking. 

I shrugged and fell back onto the bed. “Happens sometimes.”

He groaned and grabbed the camera from Colby who was equally as upset but showed it in better ways. I sat up and patted him on the back as he sat beside me.

“Why don’t we try again?” I suggested, Sam gave me a look. “I’m serious, change SD cards and we’ll do an estes session.”

Amanda nodded. “I can listen as well and write down what I hear.”

“Or you can let Sam and Colby make a few of the calls for their channel,” I snapped.

Her eyes jumped to me, surprised and frantically blinked at my words. Colby gave me a concerned look and squeezed my hand as if to tell me to calm down.

Matt shifted nervously. “If we’re doing this again I might just go stand with the guide.”

The fire dancing in my eyes dulled as I remembered what the boys had gone through. “I can take you.”

“I’ll go too,” Colby said. I shot him a curious look. “So you don’t have to walk back alone.”

We set off down the hall making jokes and giggling like teenagers until we made it to the guide. Colby and I left Matt and walked back chatting quietly.

“Avery,” He said, interrupting a comfortable silence.

“Hm?”

Colby stopped walking and gently held my forearm, I raised an eyebrow and smiled at him. “You good bubs?”

He sighed and dropped his head onto my shoulder. “I didn’t wanna say it on camera but I have the worst headache ever.”

I ran my fingers through his hair and let him breathe slowly. “Stress?”

“I think so,” He said, lifting his head and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

A deep blush broke out across my face. “Sure you’ll be fine? I can ask Sam if he has any motrin in the first aid kit.”

“No,” He said, shaking his head. “I’ll be fine, I just needed a break.”

“That’s okay,” I promised, setting my hand on his cheek and smiling. “I take breaks sometimes too.”

He exhaled and smiled at me. “How did I get so lucky?”

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Just…” He shrugged and set his hand over mine. “You.”

I laughed lightly. “You’ve told me that before.”

Colby’s eyes turned soft and he rubbed my hand with his thumb. “It’s true Ave, you’re amazing and kind and caring and beautiful,” His other hand played with the ends of my black hair. “You’re always putting others before yourself and thinking about what’s best for everyone.”

My eyes filled with tears and my jaw fell open in awe. “I’d kiss you right now if I could.”

“Why can’t you?”

We were so fucking close.

The moment the words left his mouth I was holding his face in my hands and leaning forward, rapidly closing the space. Our breath left at the same moment and our lips had just grazed each other.

“COLBY! AVERY! COME ON, WE HAVE A VIDEO TO FINISH!” Sam shouted from the door of B340.

We sprung apart like teenagers caught in the act. Once realizing that Sam had closed the door we burst into laughter.

I giggled once more and turned to Colby with a smile. “C’mon we can talk later, I want outta this place as soon as possible.”

The car ride was silent.

Trips like these usually end in a quiet ride home, each head processing what it had witnessed. Sam and I were in the front, Colby’s headache was making his thoughts swirl and he didn’t want to risk messing up the rental.

We dropped off Amanda and Matt to their respective locations. I handed Sam the gps with the location of our house and we rode in more quiet.

“You good back there?” I said breaking the silence.

Colby nodded. “It’s getting better.”

“Okay,” I said softly. “Tell me if you need the air turned down and such.”

It wasn’t awkward, we’d never been a trio for tension, I’d usually make a joke or two but this time I could tell that they needed the moment.

We came to the house and I trotted up to the door to unlock it while they brought in our stuff. I thanked Colby when he gave me my bag and they walked to their rooms to get some sleep.

“I’m gonna go to Katrina’s,” Sam said quietly. “Just for the night.”

I nodded. “That’s perfectly alright Sam, tell her I said hello.”

“Will do.”

In hindsight, I should have expected this. Sam had left to go see his girlfriend and Colby quietly excused himself to his room. This time around I didn’t go looking for him rather just cleaning up and heading off to edit a video.

My phone buzzed once in my pocket.

Colbyyyyyyyy: U awake?

I opened the message and saw that he had deleted it. I quickly jumped off my chair and padded softly over to his room.

“You ain’t slick bubs,” I laugh. “I’ve been awake for a while.”

He opened the door sheepishly and smiled. “Heeeeeeey.”

“Hi,” I said grinning. “Need something?”

He flushes deep red and rubs the back of his neck. “I just can’t sleep.”

“Wanna go watch a movie? Maybe lay in my bed while I edit?”

“Do you need to edit?” He asked. “I don’t want to bother you if you need to work.”

I thought about my upload schedule. “I can make time tomorrow.”

He shook his head rapidly. “I don’t want you to do more than you need to.”

“Then just come into my room and lay down,” I insisted. “If you need me Colby I’m right here. I am volunteering to do this, you are not making me.”

That seemed to do the trick, he slowly nodded watching me with wide eyes and walked into the hallway. I walked into the room and shut the door behind him.

Like he had done it a thousand times before, Colby walked over to my bed and laid underneath the white covers.

“I’ll be done in a few minutes,” I promised him.

He grumbled out an ‘mhm’ and watched me silently, I popped on my head phones and continued to sift through footage. After ten minutes or so I turned off my laptop and stood up to find Colby reading a random book on my bedside.

“Finally,” He sighed, smiling up at me and setting down the book.

I laughed breathily and grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, quickly changing while Colby covered him face with the sheets. “Okay now you have my full undivided attention.”

He uncovered his head, smiled and just stuck his hands out. “Gimme a hug.”

Scooting beside him I let him wrap his arms around my waist, I reciprocated the hug and pressed a kiss to the side of his head. “Wanna sleep or talk?”

I felt the rumble of his laugh in my chest. “I don’t think I can sleep.”

“Then we’ll talk till you feel safe,” I told him.

He looked up at me. “I do feel safe, Avery, you make me feel very safe.”

A beaming smile overtook my face. “Is that a good thing?”

“I think so?” He smiled and I gave a goofy one back.

I hugged him again. “You make me feel safe and loved, Colby Brock. “He was quiet and I was worried he was uncomfortable. “Bub-”

The moment I moved my head to look at him he was kissing me and I didn’t hesitate to do the same. God he was warm, I took note of how his bare skin felt under my palms and I blanked. My mind was solely focused on the beautiful boy kissing me.

We ran out of breath and pulled away, I was breathing heavily and propped up on my elbow. “That was-”

“I love you,” He interrupted giving me a look that . “You make me feel like the luckiest person in the world and I don’t say it enough. I’m sorry if that was over-stepping.” “Shut the fuck up,” I hissed with no real bite to my words. I pecked his lips again and held his face in my hands. “I have been waiting since 8th grade for this. Give me my moment.”

He chuckled and rolled he onto his chest. “Now I’m ready to go to bed.”

“Okay,” I whispered.

And that was enough for me.

Please do tell if you enjoyed!

I take requests as well.

#colby brock x reader #sam and colby #sam golbach #colby brock #oc #x oc #fluff #paranormal #youtube #oneshot #short story

[postnuclearophelia]

I hate being able to see the veins in my body so much it LITERALY gives me so much ugh like ickyness Lykke i haaaaaate it … especially in my legs because i think I’ve confused being able to see ur veins with like vein issues which like i probably also do have but im also constantly convinced im going to die of a deep vein thrombosis zzzz likkke all the time as well as a heart attack breast cancer etc … i would have such a c hill and fun life if i wasn’t convinced i was dying 24/7… and i feel like my health anxiety is the only form of my anxiety I haven’t been able to get under control from like eating well being social and working out … like I want the can’t talk to people anxiety so bad not the im about to have a stroke kind .. and i don’t even have a doctor so I can’t even get tests so I don’t even know if I’m actually ok or not!!!! And it’s literally something different every week like last week I convinced myself I had skin cancer and now this week it’s like stressing over my veins and also how ugly they look and also because im like is this normal at 25 to b able to see veins in ur leg like I really don’t know and they don’t pop out or anything like that but i can see some and it’s gross!!! I feel like a lot of my health anxiety is rooted in vanity and because i used 2 be super fat before i got addicted to coke I have a lot of issues with like …. Like i feel like im less scared of having a heart attack and more scared of people like perceiving me as unhealthy because of my fluctuating weight and but also I’m like it can’t b normal for my weight to fluctuate this much and also I’m not sure if like the amount of healthy eating and exercising I do now can make up for the year long coke addiction and drinking to the point of alcohol poisoning for 4 years straight of my life …. Like maybe it’s not even health anxiety maybe my body is just falling apart at a really young age …. But like i don’t think I actually have any serious symptoms and i would describe myself as like visibly healthy plump youthful glowing …. But idk im Liek I’m not a size 2 so I’m going to have heart disease at 25 … that’s like so insane if a thing to actually think now that i type it out …. And ugh i know I can get my visible veins layered off but i can’t afford it rn but i want them gone !!!! Liek anyways ya back to the original point i Just hate looking at the veins in my body!!!! Maybe i just need to start working on a darker tan tbh like maybe it really is time to go back to the world of self tanner cause atleast they wouldn’t b so visible …

[sonicstalker123]

Jealous!Protective!Korekiyo x Clumsy!Reader

✨they/them pronouns used✨

✨fluff, angst and fluff at the end✨

CW: nothing really, just Korekiyo hearing Y/N stretch and it makes him blush, Kiyo being jealous, pajama sleeve sliding down Y/N’s shoulder, slightly suggestive?, jealousy, profanity

Korekiyo decided to surprise his S/O with their favorite snack that he prepared just for them with a tiny bit of help from Kirumi. He decides to send Y/N a text.

‘Y/N, good morning. Are you awake?’ SEND.

‘Mornin Kiyo… am not really awake rn… What’s up?’ SEND.

Kiyo gasps in shock. ‘Oh dear, I’m sorry to have woken you up. Are you alright, do you want to resume your nap?’ SEND.

‘Eh it’s ok, I’ll get up. I accidentally took a three hour nap. Guess I got into a food coma after breakfast? Lemme get up’ SEND.

‘Alright, I’ve got a surprise for you, by the way.’ SEND.

“Oh my, now he’s gotten me curious!” Y/N asks themself, clapping their hands in excitement and giggling to themself. “Alright, Y/N, ya gotta get up. Your boyfriend has a surprise for you.”

Little do they know that Kiyo wanted to surprise them at the door. He’s patiently standing at the door, with a little chocolate cupcake with chocolate frosting on it. He gets butterflies but knocks on the door once he sighs to relieve his anxiety.

“Himiko, is that you? I can’t wait to watch your magic show this afternoon! I talked about it with Gonta last night while he was teaching me about the different kinds of ladybugs! Lemme get up- OH SHIT!” They slide off the bed. “Christ on a stick, that hurt! That’s juuuust great, a bruise is gonna pop up soon…” They sigh and stretch to wake themself up.

Korekiyo hears them stretch and blushes for whatever reason. “I-I didn’t know people made noises when they stretch… Maybe it’s just something Y/N does? It’s a mystery.” He then hears them walking and they bump into the door, making a loud THUMP noise. “Oop. Didn’t mean to do that, Himiko! I’m all good! It’s normal for me..!”

They see their (favorite color) pajama shirt part of their PJ outfit starting to slide down one of their shoulders. “Oh shoot!” They try to fix that but it slides down again, but fortunately it doesn’t slide any more. At that point, they give up and open the door, yawning. “Sorry, Himiko, my clumsiness got the better of me, I should not have stayed up until midnight. I think I ended up falling asleep on the floor haha-“ They look up to see a confused looking Korekiyo.

“H-Hello, Y/N. I made you a chocolate cupcake with chocolate frosting because Kirumi informed me that you really enjoy chocolate. She helped me a small bit. But I hope you enjoy it. Would you like to come with me to the courtyard? There’s tables and chairs underneath some cherry blossoms there.” He asks.

Y/N finally opens her eyes and sees Kiyo looking at them, patiently waiting for answer. They blush super hard and continuously try to fix their sleeve. Them blushing causes Kiyo to blush pretty hard and tremble slightly and almost drops his plate.

“O-Oh dear. I guess you’ve never seen me with PJs on. You’re one of the few people here in this academy who have seen my pajamas. This stupid sleeve wouldn’t stay put, maybe I can see if Kirumi can tighten them one of these days. A-Anyway, let’s go to the tables, I would love to try what you made for me, which is so sweet by the way, I really appreciate it!” They smile.

Korekiyo and Y/N make their way to the tables. Y/N has a little spring in their step and their sleeve slides down their shoulder, though they are just happily making their way to the table and they aren’t even aware that Kaito is in front of them.

Until they bump into him. “Oof-“ they silently say as they look up at Kaito. “Ohh! Kaito! I didn’t see you there! Afternoon!” They exclaim with a really big smile. “Hey there, Y/N!” They high five. “Do you want to come vibe at the courtyard with Kiyo and I?”

“Hmm… as long as Kiyo is fine with it, I don’t mind, my dude.” Kaito smiles and Korekiyo then walks up to Y/N. “Oh, Kiyo! Hey! Y/N here says that you’re going to the courtyard soon and they wanted to know if I could come along with you two. I won’t, like, be the awkward third wheel or anything.”

“S-Sure...” Kiyo responds back, sounding a little annoyed. Y/N’s eyes sparkle as they jump up and down with sparkling eyes. “Alright, let’s make our way there! I’m gonna get a head start!”

Literally them as they run towards the doors:

Kiyo happily waves at them as they run off and then turns his head rather quickly and glares at Kaito menacingly, but stays quiet. Kaito gets a little spooked, so he runs off and meets up with Y/N.

“Haaa… Y/N, there you are! Dude, I forget how big this academy is sometimes ….” Kaito exclaims.

Y/N is muttering profanities left and right as they look at their bruised knee. Kaito looks down at Y/N, who’s on the ground. Kaito bursts out laughing. “Ah, sorry for laughing. You good, though? A-Anyways, let’s go to the courtyard so we can vibe!” Kaito happily walks away, with Y/N happily walking with him.

Kiyo makes annoyed noises as he slowly makes his way to the courtyard. Y/N and Kaito make it to the courtyard table and sit down, across from each other. The two are just catching up about just everything. “So then I told Shuichi and Maki Roll while we doing our training stuff that ‘the impossible is possible, all you gotta do is make it so!’ and Shuichi seemed to like that. I saw Rantaro the other day painting Kaede’s nails the other day and I’m gonna be serious, can I ask you something?” Kaito asks.

Y/N happily nods. “Yeah my dude, you can tell me anything!” Kaito sighs. “I’m… kinda jealous. I wouldn’t be apposed to Rantaro painting my nails, but… I’m embarrassed to ask.” “Tell ya what! Next week, I’ll get my nails painted (insert favorite color here) and I can bring you with! Trust me, it’s amazing!”

Kiyo finally makes his way to the courtyard and sits next to Y/N. “Hello there, dear. Did I miss anything?” Korekiyo asks, readjusting Y/N’s sleeve again. “Not much, we were just catching up and I got a bruise. It’s not the end of the world. I literally trip on everything. Kaito get this. Literally yesterday I was walking upstairs and tripped on my own feet?? No idea why that happens, but I guess I’m a bit of a clumsy oaf.”

Kaito and Kiyo exchange glances. Kaito tries to resist the urge to laugh, but just starts laughing like crazy. Kiyo glares at Kaito and then he’s speechless. “Haha.. ahh, that is hilarious. Just Y/N things, am I right?” Y/N nods and they turn to look at the night sky.

“The stars look so pretty! Look at them, Kiyo! … Is that one changing colors??” Y/N asks, confused.

“Yeah! Did you know that stars can be different colors? I personally like the blue one. One day, I wanna go fly to the sky and check out the stars. You’ll be the first person to know about my stories and what I saw, I promise!” Kaito says, winking in a friendly way.

Kaito rambles for a few hours and Y/N is flat out dead asleep on Kiyo’s chest. “Shit, it’s getting late. I should go hit the hay soon. See ya Y/N! … Y/N?” He turns around and sees Y/N, sleeping peacefully with their boyfriend has his hand on her head, as if he’s protecting them??? Kaito gets confused and walks away with his hands in his pockets.

God that’s so cute, you don’t need to do that though, Kiyo

Kiyo gently taps on their shoulder, waking them up. “Hm..? Kaito? Where did he… go?” They ask while rubbing their eyes. “He… was tired so he went back to the dorm.” Korekiyo’s eyes start to glow, unable to keep his anger in anymore.

“Speaking of Kaito, what was THAT?! He was clearly flirting with you! Did you not see that?! HOW did you NOT see that?!” Kiyo exclaims. “I didn’t. I genuinely didn’t. If he was actually flirting with me, why didn’t you stop him?! Why didn’t you do anything!?”

“Because you were having a good time and catching up on things with somebody you don’t see a lot these days! And I didn’t want to ruin that for you!”

“… wait a minute. How did you know about that? How did you know that I was catching up with him?”

Korekiyo just kinda does this 👇🏻

“Were you intentionally taking your time? Were you eavesdropping on our conversation? I can’t believe it! It’s all over your face! You not saying anything is just icing on the cake!” Y/N explains with their pajama shirt’s sleeve sliding down even more than before.

“W-Wait, Y/N, let me expl-“ “SAVE IT, KOREKIYO! I don’t want to hear your bullshit lies!” Y/N exclaims with a hint of a growl in their voice. They storm off.

Korekiyo watches them storm off. He then sighs and sits at the table and stares at the night sky. “I had a bad feeling about Kaito this whole time… Does Y/N actually not know when people are flirting with them? Or were they just saying that?”

He looks at the ground and just walks inside the building. He enters the building and walks to his dorm room. “… just wait for them to cool off. You need to just wait, Korekiyo.” He starts to pace around his room. “I’m just going to go to my lab to distract myself.”

He makes his way to his lab and opens the door. He stares at his pot full of roses and just stares at them. “These are beautiful. Y/N and I grew these together. That’s what makes them even more beautiful. Them. They’re beautiful in all ways. Even their flaws make them beautiful.” He blushes really hard. “I must find them and apologize to them. I would only assume that they’re in their room or elsewhere.”

Kiyo spots Himiko. “Himiko, have you seen Y/N? I’ve been trying to find them.” Himiko looks at Kiyo, with an upset expression. “Nyeh, why would I want to tell you where they are?” Korekiyo sighs. “Thanks for your help, I guess.” He continues to pursue them.

Hallways? Nope. Game room? Nah. Cafeteria? Kind of? He found a box of pocky. That’s worth something, so he put it in his pocket. “Pocky..? That’s Y/N’s favorite kind of pocky, so I’m getting somewhere.” Kiyo mutters to himself.

He casually walks around the building until he hears Kiibo and some familiar voices, including Y/N’s voice in the library. “Found them.” “MAN, it feels good to take this pajama shirt off. It felt like I was on fire.” “Y-Y/N, please don’t say that, somebody might hear you say that and or doesn’t sound too good out of context!! What if your boyfriend was nearby and heard that? He’d get suspicious!” Kiibo exclaims

Shocked at what he hears, he aggressively pushes the door open and it hits the wall. Kiyo stares at Y/N and then at Kiibo and then at Kaede. He blushes really hard at the sight of Y/N in a (favorite color(s) tanktop and covers his face for a while. Kiibo raises his hands and walks out. “I wasn’t doing anything suspicious, I was just telling them that it wasn’t wise to shout that.”

Kaede just nopes out of the room. “Nope, not dealing with this.” Korekiyo watches his companions leave and looks at Y/N like this.

“My oh my, dearest. There you are. My beautiful rose. I was looking for you to apologize for what I did. Can you forgive me for eavesdropping on your conversation and snapping at you?”

Man I swear this dude has rizz

They start to blush hard. “Y-Yeah…”

“Thank you, dear. It means a lot to me. By the way, what was it you and Kaito were talking about? You don’t have to get specific if you don’t want to.” Kiyo asks, tilting his head to the side.

“W-Well, I’m sure Kaito wouldn’t want me t-talking about it, but we just plan on hanging out- nothing bad I promise! Just hanging out.” Y/N replies and Korekiyo smiles. “You look so cute when you blush like this.” Y/N raises her eyebrow. “Oh yeah? Well you look handsome when you blush too~, I’ve never seen you blush like this before.” Y/N scoots closer to Korekiyo and gives him a big hug. “And I’m sorry too… for the yelling. I love you.”

Kiyo smiles warmly. “Your heartbeat… it’s racing a little bit. And I love you so much more.” Kiyo and Y/N smile and Kiyo gets a little peck on the cheek. “M-My oh my… H-How u-unexpected.” He looks at the clock. “Oh gosh, look at the time, it’s three in the morning. But I don’t want to get up just now, I just want to feel your heartbeat for j-just a little while longer.”

“But we’re gonna have to-“ Y/N yawns. “-go home eventually. You make me feel so loved. I’ve never felt this before.” Korekiyo gasps and stands up. He reaches for Y/N’s hand. They stand up and they walk to Y/N’s dorm room. “What were you saying about not feeling loved like this before’?”

Kiyo and Y/N stand in front of Y/N’s door. “It… it’s a long story. I’ll explain it to you one of these days. As much as I would love to keep talking, I feel quite tired. See you in the morning?” They ask. “But of course, darling. I love you, I’ll see you in the morning, or specifically, later in the morning.” He gives them a peck on the cheek. They’re so happy that they go into their room, blush so hard that they are tomato red (from blushing) and dive into their bed and happily shove their face into their pillow and happily giggles. Kiyo hears their giggles and walks to his room, feeling happy and blushing, knowing that he just made their night.

The next day, Kaede walks into the library and realizes that their pajama shirt is still there. She blushes at the sight, picks up the shirt and walks to their dorm room with a note saying “Y/N, you left this in the library. -Kaede”

#drv3 korekiyo #korekiyo shinguji #korekiyo x reader #himiko yumeno #drv3 kaito #kaito momota

[lily-orchard]

welp I’ve caught your sisters attention and I’ve apparently got my own tags now, yay..

idk how tf I got on your sisters radar, nor do I understand what she’s talking about in particular with her post. (I post i only saw bc an anon sent me an archive link btw, I’ve had her blocked for months)

https://web.archive.org/web/20240122022451/https://www.tumblr.com/pleasetiemyshoe/%20740178068838203392/oh-someone-wants-attention

I’ve never come after sunny, yeah we used to interact but that was a while ago, unfollowed him before you and him fell out. (Not for any particular reason, i just stopped enjoying his content) To the best of my knowledge I've never even talked about sunny after we stopped interacting and I don’t remember saying anything bad about him ever?

I have Courtney blocked, i definitely didn’t want her attention as she implied. Or the attention of any of the gossip blogs for that matter bc, to the best of my knowledge, I have them all blocked.

The “honey” and “sweet lamb” shit, along with her graphically saying I’m a waste of my fathers orgasm, makes me super fucking uncomfortable. on top of sounding really condescending she also sounds like my ex who raped me. Bc he was also a condescending asswipe and talked like a “poorly written high school bully” (to use a previous anons words)

she claims I think rape is “just a spat” even tho I am open on my blog about being a multiple time rape survivor (including but not limited to me being raped last year by my ex) and also I’ve never said that “rape is just a spat”, like WTF obviously that’s not what rape is. Idk how tf she came to the conclusion that I thought it was.

she also said I’m supporting two rapists? I’m guessing one of the ppl she’s referring to is you (bc she claims you raped her in multiple posts) but who tf is the second one?? I’m so confused.

and of corse the post has no screenshots of me saying or doing any of these things, she just spat out my url so others could see. So I have nothing to go off of here like- genuinely idk what I did to piss her off other then not publicly hate you.

idk why I’m coming to you about this but I genuinely could use some kinda support here bc she’s honestly freaking me out. My anxiety disorder can’t take this shit. I’ve been harassed before online, I was groomed as a kid and teen and was doxxed as a teen and more, but never have I ever got the attention of someone as obsessed as her before, so I’m terrified of what she might try to pull. The way she talks reminds me of my ex and that’s definitely not helping the panicking at all. I’ve seen how unhinged she behaves when it comes to you and I’m honestly scared rn of wtf this woman is gonna do. I have no idea what she’s talking about and I genuinely don’t know what I did to catch her attention. I think I’m just trying to vent out my panic attack so sorry if this is annoying to you but I honestly don’t know what to do bc I already have your gossip blogs blocked and that didn’t help so I’m kinda up shits creek atm. Like- WTF DID I DO TO GET HER ATTENTION? I’m confused. I like your posts sometimes and occasionally comment under them? Was that all it took?? Jfc I’m so confused. Idk what to do, any advice? Kind words? Idfk I’m just panicking I’m sorry I’m a bother I know this ask is fucking long but I’m super freaking out here and don’t know what to do or who else to turn to

Courtney is nothing. She can't hurt you outside of sending a mob to harass you. She's not a survivor of anything she claims to be a survivor of, she's a perpetrator of them.

The fact that you've gotten Courtney this tilted isn't even surprising because she's ALWAYS tilted.

The lucky thing is that she's also a coward. She's threatening my life for months and hasn't made good on any of them.

Block her, block anyone she sends your way, and just put her out of your mind.

You're gonna be okay, Golden. You're a lovely person who I've always liked seeing in my notifications.

#brittany johnson #courtney peet #britts galaxy brain #courtney orchard #lily orchard #harassment #stalking #transphobia

[kitmoas]

The Chronicles of a Sweet Toy

A Training Grounds Mini Series

Summary: The sweetest side of Toy makes everyone around them melt.

Warnings: Ageplay (Think that's it, let me know if I missed anything)

A/N: This has been a long time coming, and I'm super excited to put out these drabbles. This is age play, not age regression. While it may seem not voluntary in this specific drabble, I assure you it was meant to be written in a sleepy mindset.

***Minors DNI***No Smut rn but this is an 18+ Training Grounds Universe***

| Vol. i | Vol. ii | Vol. iii | Vol. iv | Vol. v | Vol. vi | Vol. vii |

The first time it happens you weren’t quite sure what it meant, nor were you awake enough to really be alarmed by it. The night was pretty calm with Wanda out of town on a mission, so you were spending the time in Natasha’s room. The two of you messed around as per normal, had snacks, and definitely ate things that Wanda wouldn’t approve of. The widow had put on a random movie so that you guys could cuddle. You were wrapped up in blankets with Natasha’s arms around you when her Stark phone started ringing across the room. The whine that ripped from your throat was higher pitched than usual, and the lost feeling as she left the bed to answer the phone was overwhelming your mind. 

You were confused, nothing was different. The widow was soft and gentle tonight, giving you so much love. The normal fog in your mind had been gone for a while now, and you were happy. This feeling came out of nowhere, and it made your sleep clouded mind panic for a moment. You felt alone and scared, the size of the bed suddenly scaring you. 

It only takes a moment for her to immediately come back, hovering above you with worried eyes. You could tell that your reaction scared her too, but you couldn’t think of anything coherent. You just wanted her, your Daddy. 

Your hands reach out to her, grabbing onto her baggy shirt and pulling her closer. A pathetically distressed “Daddy” tumbling from your lips before you can stop it, hot heavy tears spilling onto your cheeks. Broken, and unexpected, sobs shake your body and before long you’re hyperventilating.

The feeling in your mind was familiar somehow like you experienced this before, but your body was exhausted and you didn’t want to think. You didn’t want to understand what was happening. All you know is that Daddy is here, her warmth is surrounding you and you nuzzle your nose into her neck. Her scent is comforting but you can’t stop the tears that are spilling down your bright red cheeks. 

The Russian’s mind was racing, confused by the sudden change in your emotions but chalking it up to a drop. She lets her lips map across your forehead, leaving soft reminders that she is here. “I’m right here девочка, Daddy isn’t going anywhere. You’re safe, my good girl.” You wiggle some at her words, digging yourself closer to her. “I’m so proud of you detka. I got you. Daddy’s got you” She shushes your quiet whimpers, running her fingers through your messy hair. 

The whispered praise comes naturally and slowly it pulls you away from your anxiety induced blackhole, but it seemingly does nothing for your tense fear. You’re still holding her shirt in a death grip, but as she rolls the two of you around on the bed you begin to calm down. The two of you end up laying in bed for hours as she listens to you sleepily babble about random things until you finally pass out from exhaustion, leaving her to fall into a confused sleep. 

Tag list: @simplysimping999 @8bitscarlet @simpfornatasharomanoff @yourtaletotell @s1ut4nat @simpforflorencepugh1 @theperfectlovestory @caroldantops @katebishop-ladyarrow @widowbitessting @uraveragequeer @didujustcallmedumb

#kitmoas writes #k: TGU drabble #k: training grounds #marvel fanfiction #wanda maximoff #marvel wlw #natasha romanoff #wandanat #kate bishop #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff x female reader #wanda maximoff x y/n #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x wanda maximoff #wandanat x reader #wandanat x y/n

[pinkhairandpokemon]

Introduction Post

————

I’M A BAD BITCH YOU CAN’T KILL ME!

hiya! name's Blake. you might recognize me, you might not. rotomblr is confusing with all the multiverse stuff. basically, I'm an ex-champion who's kinda just doing my own thing now. saved the world a few times. met a few gods. y'know, the usual. I even died once! technically. oh, and I’m a university student at Blueberry Academy! mostly here to post about my Pokémon- but my friends Hop and Auberi have access to this blog too, so you might see them on here occasionally.

also!! I have a wonderful partner here’s his blog: @thunderblessedhero I love him sm

that's pretty much all you need to know, I think! signing out!

-Blake

———

Auberi Bellerose- 21, they/them, demisexual/greyromantic

Hop Laventon- 20, he/him, asexual/biromantic

Blake- 20, they/them, pansexual/demiromantic

————

Current Arc: N/A

OOC: hi! I’m Wren and uHhh this is my first pkmn RP blog. Originally I was gonna make an Eternatus one but I thought it’d be more fun to make one for my OC,, but I might still make the  Eternatus one if this one goes well. my main pkmn blog is @xgoldenlatiasx (but i like and follow from @/flightmare-kid)

(update: prolly not gonna make the Eternatus blog lol. for right now at least. I have enough blogs as it is now)

also: in-character mean interactions are welcome. beat their ass

other rp blogs: @thunderblessedhero @partnersintime @scarlet-rider @pokehorsegirl @bisharpenjoyer @dragontamerhiccup @coolguyhilbert @keldeochamp1on @weirdcelebi @sapphireseafarer @justanothercastelian

Warnings: things won’t get TOO extremely dark or serious on this blog for now, there will be a lot of swearing though. Also all the characters are around 19-20, there won’t ever be anything explicit but they’ll probably make stupid dick jokes at worst. Specifically Blake and probably Auberi sometimes. I’ll tag stuff like that as #tw nsfw joke and/or #tw suggestive.

Info about my OC:

basically Blake is my protag in several pkmn games, specifically SW/SH, X/Y, and B/W! the timeline of those games’ stories are in that specific order in my OCverse. (Pretty much any semblance of a canon timeline in the games is destroyed in my OCverse, except for any games w/ sequels like Gen1/Gen2 or BW/BW2. I’ll probably put together a proper timeline eventually, but essentially it’s just in the order I played all the games. Rn that order is FRLG -> HGSS -> SM -> ORAS -> SWSH -> XY -> DPPT/BDSP -> BW -> PLA -> SV -> BW2)

Bio: Blake was born in Nuvema Town, where they lived until they were around seven before moving to Aspertia City. They lived there until they were about thirteen, before moving to Postwick in the Galar region with their mother. There, they met one of their best friends, Hop. At the time, Blake was super closed off and shy, as their social anxiety made making friends difficult. The only one they’ve ever really let their guard down with was Hop. Watching Leon’s matches on TV with Hop was what inspired them to become a trainer, though for many years they didn’t actually think it’d be possible for them- considering they came from a family who didn’t really like Pokemon, therefore they had nowhere near as much experience with them like Hop did. They feared their social anxiety would get in the way, too.

Once they were 16, they unexpectedly got their first Pokemon from Leon- a Sobble named Kappa. After getting endorsed by Leon and some encouragement from Hop, they agreed to sign up for the Gym Challenge. They had a rocky start- losing battles pretty frequently was putting a huge dent in their already low self-esteem, and it was impacting Kappa as well. But over time they learned the ropes of being a trainer and was quickly becoming a rising star amongst the Gym Challengers. They went on to stop the Darkest Day along with Hop, catch Eternatus, become champion, and earn the trust of Zacian.

During their reign as champion, they trained at the Isle of Armor and explored the Crown Tundra. These small adventures slowly helped them realize just how much pressure their title was putting on them- and finally caused them to slip up during the final match of the next year’s Gym Challenge.

After losing their title, they decided to look for a new path- which lead them to Kalos, where they helped in putting a stop to Team Flare’s plan and caught Yveltal, and eventually back to Unova, where they fought against Team Plasma alongside Reshiram. Following the defeat of Plasma, they’ve enrolled as a college student at Blueberry Academy- and have done quite a lot in the past two years, such as visiting the Paldea region and catching more Pokémon. Now, they’ve returned to Unova, and are resting after having helped in the fight against Kyurem.

Blake is also the main character in my comics, Adventures in Kalos (on my instagram @/xgolden_latiasx) and Unova Fates (on Tumblr, insta, and webtoon). This blog will probably contain spoilers for those comics!

More rules/info/explanations/etc.:

All three of these characters are friends with multiple legendaries, so if they seem overpowered to you… sorry? I’m just having fun over here. They don’t really use any of them for battle that often, though they might threaten to sic their legendary on someone as a joke (but they won’t actually). But as of right now the only legendary that’s actively with the group is Reshiram, he’s the only one who’ll get involved in whatever shenanigans/event the gang finds themselves in. (Unless I’m participating in an event from another person and they say they don’t want Reshiram involved.)

I’m relatively willing to join in on high stakes stuff as long as I feel up to it, but please ask me first if you want one of my characters to actively participate somehow.

Also, this blog runs with the idea that Rotomblr is a weird site that links other universes together. So for example say if… Kalos is blowing up or something on another person’s blog and someone tries to get Auberi involved, I’m just going to say it’s happening in a different universe. Or if a different SWSH/XY/BW/PLA protag character tries to interact.

Please also understand that I have realllllly bad social anxiety and awkwardness. I apologize if it takes me a while to respond to something, or if my replies seem short and uninterested (I promise I’m interested in the conversation I’m just bad at words). Or long and ramble-y. Please tell me to shut the fuck up if you need me to.

Past arcs/plot lines:

#Storyline: Haunting Regrets (Explanation of Auberi’s past)

#Story Event: The Calm Before The Storm (Set up for a future arc)

#Story Arc: The Press Conference (This arc was discontinued, but I didn’t really feel like going back and deleting all the tags so it IS still canon but nothing important happened.)

#Typing Through Time (Mini event where a pair of mysterious siblings, supposedly from the future, take over the blog to document their search for a special Celebi.)

#Interlude Arc (BW2 event.)

#PB Takeover (Takeover of a version of Blake that joined Team Plasma.)

List of everyone’s Pokémon (will probs be updated frequently):

Blake:

-Kappa (M Inteleon)

-Go-Go (F Coalossal)

-Venom (M Toxtricity)

-Charlie (M Boltund)

-Jeanne (F Corviknight)

-Lancelot (M Sirfetch’d)

-Athena (F Urshifu)

-Tulip (F Venusaur)

-Lizzie (F Charizard)

-Tater (F Flapple)

-Potato (M Galarian Slowpoke)

-Audun (M Flygon)

-Zuzu (F Dragapult)

-Azi (F Dreepy)

-Shiverbolt (Arctozolt)

-Alto (M Grookey)

-Oran (M Munchlax)

-Fwoofy (Cosmog)

-Stormy (M Sobble)

-Dewdrop (M Sobble)

-Nessa Jr. (F Sobble)

-Bubble (M Sobble)

-Neptune (F Sobble)

-Zacian

-Eternatus

-Red (M Delphox)

-Stardust (M Meowstic)

-Ryu (M Lucario)

-Flick (F Vivillon)

-Verde (M Venusaur)

-Basil (M Sylveon)

-Granite (M Tyrantrum)

-Snooze (M Snorlax)

-Yveltal

-King (F Serperior)

-Cordelia (F Simipour)

-Beau (M Swoobat)

-Lumiere (F Chandelure)

-Kilobyte (M Eelektross)

-Phaedra (F Krookodile)

-Toothless (M Deino)

-Scylla (F Druddigon)

-Stormchase (F Swellow)

-Larkspur (M Venipede)

-Reshiram

-Cheezit (F Pawmot)

-Tiny (M Braviary)

-Salad (F Floragato)

-Cranberry (F Flareon)

-Pecha (F Grookey X Fomantis hybrid)

-Dart (F Cyclizar)

-Mantis (F Slither Wing)

-Hermes (M Corvisquire x Galarian Zapdos hybrid)

-Odin (M Corvisquire x Galarian Articuno hybrid)

-Vulcan (F Corvisquire x Galarian Moltres hybrid)

-Spark (M Galvantula ✨)

-VIOLENCE (F Scream Tail)

-Galahad (M Skarmory)

-Snart (F UD Archen)

-Titanium (F Revaroom)

-Goober (M Scovillain)

-Banana (F Latias ✨)

Hop:

-Cloudy (M Dubwool)

-Flint (M Cinderace)

-Percival (M Corviknight)

-Rumble (M Snorlax)

-Needle (F Pinchurin)

-Jasper (M Silicobra)

-Thor (F Boltund)

-Whisperwood (F Trevenant)

-Summer (F Heatmor)

-Watts (M Toxel)

-Crest (M Cramorant)

-Zamazenta

-Galarian Zapdos

-Mango (F Squawkabilly)

-Arlo (M Quaxly)

-Deedee (F Gardevoir x Whimsicott hybrid)

-Carrot (M Tatsugiri)

-Lumi (F Joltik)

-Koda (M Inteleon)

-Dusk (M Mightyena)

-Flurry (F Cetitan)

Auberi:

-Korrin (M Greninja)

-Calypso (F Meowstic)

-Blaise (M Charizard)

-Glacé (F Aurorus)

-Cantrelle (F Noivern)

-Reaper (F Absol)

-Estelle (F Flareon)

-Sunrise (F Talonflame)

-Chester (M Chespin)

-Ignis (M Hisuian Typhlosion)

-Blanche (F Hisuian Zoroark)

-Aries (M Paldean Tauros, Blaze Breed)

-Spitfire (M Skeledirge)

-Anne Bonny (F Kilowattrel ✨)

-Voltaire (M Joltik)

-Fondue (F Fidough)

-Arceus

-Rouge (M Hisuian Zorua)

-Anastasie (F Hisuian Zorua ✨)

(A note: These aren’t necessarily all Pokémon that are registered to them. Most of the legendaries, for example, are just ‘mons they’re able to call upon or are associated with)

#pokemon #pokemon rp #pokemon irl #pokemon roleplay #trainer blake #introduction post #pokeblogging #pkmn swsh #pkmn xy #pkmn bw #pokeblog rp #pokemon oc #rival hop #rival auberi #storyline: haunting regrets #story event: the calm before the storm #story arc: the press conference #typing through time #(( adding tags to help find those arcs better )) #interlude arc #pb takeover

[confused-mushroom]

Hey, so tumblr is dying rn, but I'm still gonna try to post.

Little lost, so coming to the gender website to get advice.

It's hard to explain this and I have trouble with words... so please excuse it being long and rambly

So... um.. well I get a little lost on gender shit sometimes. I'm AFAB, I don't THINK I want to be a guy, and yet... aaa I'm not super comfortable with my body. I've done packing with socks before and even worn a binder to feel more comfortable. I don't mind masculine terms like sir and stuff, yet i don't think I'd want to use he/him or they/them pronouns. Haven't actually... tried that though since I am full of anxiety and can't talk about it with friends. I prefer to dress in more masculine clothes too and keep my hair short. I even wish I had a lower voice that sounds more like a dudes. I do identify as lesbian, but that has nothing to do with this stuff, as when I was younger I wanted to be a guy, I wanted to have a guys body if that makes sense? Again sorry bad with wording. Now it's just... I don't know. More confusing. I don't feel like I'm a man, but I don't know what I am.

But I'm just... lost. I don't know what I want to be. Everytime I think about this (pretty often) I just feel so confused and a bit stressed because I can't figure anything out.

Literally made this acc just to talk about this and seek advice. Idk if anyone will even see this lol

#i just feel lost on this stuff and idk how to word it properly #but ill appreciate any advice #lgbtq #lgbt+ #trans #transgender #transmasc #gender #lgbtqplus

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

Hey, I'm sorry in advance that this is super long and feel free to ignore this ask if you can't or don't want to answer it, I appreciate being able to just rant somewhere anyway :) I am an aro-questioning ace girl, and I have been struggling to figure out if I'm arospec or not because there have been some people that I have gotten really attached to but I don't know if it was in a romantic way? There was this girl who I thought was really really pretty and her smile made feel so happy and warm and nervous inside. Even though there were other more "conventionally attractive" girls out there but I only felt this way around her... Maybe that was aesthetic attraction? I wasn't that close to her, but I wanted to talk to her and see her smile, and we didn't have anything in common but I still wanted to be close to her... I've NEVER felt this way for anyone else and I'm 18 and I know that it's common for alloromantic people to have felt at least very mild romantic attraction to more than 2-3 people by the time they're 18, and it's been 3 years since then, and I haven't felt this around anyone else, so I can't help that maybe I'm making up these feelings? Just so I could "have a crush"? Or maybe they're just strong platonic feelings? I guess I'm just looking for some sort of confirmation because honestly I can't deal with not having a label to put to my feelings, and I've tried going label-less for a long time. It was easy for me to figure out that I'm ace, cause I just heard the description and was like "oh shit, i thought everyone felt this way" but figuring out my romantic orientation is a whole other ordeal cause I don't want to kiss anyone ever, and wanting affection can be very much platonic, so I can't really differentiate between romantic and platonic attraction. I have one other aroace friend and they don't have the same problems, so I don't know.

Sorry for this being super super long

Anon Im slapping you in the face with a wet fish rn DON’T APOLOGISE!! THATS WHAT IM HERE FOR!! IM HERRE TO HELP YALL DONT SAY SORRY!!!!

Gonna be honest, that sounds like romantic attraction to me, but it could still be platonic attraction. My suggestion is talk to some of your alloro friends and ask them to describe what romantic attraction feels like to them, and see how close your experiences with this girl are to what theyre talking about.

Bestie I HIGHLY doubt you’re making up these feelings—why would you make up smth you’re having a whole ass crisis about?? Capital U Unlikely

Not everyone feels romantic attraction at the same time, even alloro people. I had friends who had crushes by 1st grade and I never liked anyone til 5th grade. Shit’s different for different people.

Honestly this is gonna sound very like facebook mom so I’m sorry in advance lmao but my advice is Just Chill. Like don’t get me wrong man I know exactly the kinda shit you’re going thru (I went thru the same thing w gender) like the whole anxiety hyperventilate I need to know what I am thing.

But you gotta fucking breathe dude. Inhale, exhale. Like. You may be aro, you may not be. And that’s okay. The more you try to frantically try and find a label the more confused and frustrated and mad you’ll get. So you gotta just let things be, yknow? Shit’ll fall into place eventually.

Like I used to frantically try and label myself like oh i’m genderfluid wait am I maybe I’m a demi boy maybe I’m genderfaun fuck what’s going on I feel like shit—then I realised it doesn’t fucking matter as long as I’m being myself, and not overthinking everyone to shit. I let mysrlf be, and then I realised oh shit, I’m a trans dude. Okay yknow what good for me, slay!

So here’s my advice. You like this girl—good for you, slay! Maybe it’s platonic, maybe it isn’t, but either way, you like her, so spend time with her. Don’t sweat it mate. If she makes you happy, whether it’s as a friend or as a potential girlfriend, be with her.

Hope I could help you out!!

#ask #helping out a questioning person

[wikiangela]

911 s6e2 - some thoughts and comments as I'm watching:

spoilers ahead haha

oh shit I almost forgot about Athena's dad 😳

I love the way we kinda see it all from Athena's perspective, and everything is so echoey and feels kinda distant I guess hah

those scenes before something bad happens are always so stressful because I don't know what exactly to expect or when to expect it 😂 like, I love it, but I hate it 🤣🤣

oh my god I did not expect the guy to blow up his yard 😂 I was so anxiously waiting for him to get seriously hurt somehow and here he goes doing this 😂

awww Captain Hen 😍😍 love that so much ❤️

I figured the wife was cheating with the neighbor but they had an underground tunnel for that??? lmao how did they even manage that 😂

they always manage to do something completely unexpected 😂 God I love this show

"are you at ease" why was this so funny 😂

I'm loving Maddie, like, mentoring Noah or whatever, but... I miss dispatcher May sns 😂😂 (and May in general)

Hen is gonna totally wear herself out, I'm tired just watching her go through it all - btw those shots of her driving super tired and while eating are giving so much anxiety that she'll get into an accident or something - even though I drive, I'm still so terrified of the possibility of a car crash after I was in a car crash when I was like 6 or 7 lol -

okay, what the fuck was that popcorn scene 😂 did that have a purpose? was it supposed to be funny? cause it was kinda cringe and annoying and wtf why did they do that 😂

oh my god she's falling asleep behind the wheel - I fucking called it (I'm currently talking at my screen out loud begging her to pull over, I'm totally fine 🙂😂😂)

oh thank God she's fine but oh my god I'm fucking stressed out 😂

Bobby is the best husband, seriously, I so respect him standing up to Athena's mom, that was great - her mom is being a bit unreasonable but like, I understand it because I know, even just based on my family, how old people are - so stubborn and set in their ways, and can get offended over nothing and take everything way too personally...

random thought (because I heard Hen talk to Julie and I was like: who's that new person lol) but like: where's Ravi? I don't remember how he ended up at the end of s5 but like, did he leave the show or something??

Buck always having meaningful conversations with people on calls when he needs it 👀👀

this is such a stressful rescue but somehow it's less stressful than Hen driving 😂😂 (that car accident affected me too much lol its a miracle I drive regularly now haha)

fuck, I teared up when Hen was telling Lev about Frankie 😭 and now I'm fucking crying omg what 😭😭💔 he was on the screen for like 2 minutes, why am I crying over him 😂 they always know how to hit me in the feels

and the saddest version of don't worry be happy is just making it worse 😭😂😂

I haven't mentioned it yet, so here's my weekly pause and break for thirsting over Eddie because I can't handle the feels now lol: damn Eddie looks so fucking good, like always 🥵🔥 I really love his haircut tbh I wish he had more screen time this episode because oh my god he looks so hot and just so gorgeous 😍😍🔥 (when does he not 🙄😂) okay, I'm done for now lol

I'm loving the plotline of Buck trying to find happiness and I feel for him rn 🥺 he looks so sad and clearly this death hit him pretty hard 🥺 also, the "you always have the answers" 🥺😭

don't tell me Hen didn't pass 😳💔

oh fuck I'm crying once again, poor Hen 😭😭💔 she took on way too much, I feel so bad, both for her and for her family 😭

and now Beatrice is making me cry - damn, it's episode 2 and they're already hitting me in the feels way too much 😂 I can't handle it 😭😂

A BODY? WHAT NOW? WTF??? okay, I wasn't that invested in Athena's story so far but now I am 😳😳😳😳 I MEAN, WHAT?! what does this mean??? I'm so confused and so curious and just.... what. I need the next episode right the fuck now 😂😂

tbh I wanted to say I liked the previous episode a little bit better - but like, that last scene really made it crazy and now I'm 🤯 I loved it

ngl, as much as I felt bad for Athena, I didn't care all that much for her parents' story but the end scene made it the most interesting thing this episode 😂

I loved Hen's story and I was so worried and stressed for her (if you ever feel tired when driving, my god, just pull over pls 😂) school work and being a present mom and a wife is a lot and she was just so overworked and overwhelmed and I'm curious where her story goes now, because they built up her wanting to become a doctor so much, it'd be weird if they just dropped it now 🤔

I'm loving Buck trying to find happiness - Buck's stories are always great and I hope we'll get some more of that in next episodes

I'm also hoping Eddie will get some important storyline soon because he's just there being an amazing firefighter and looking hot and I'm not complaining but like, let's put some more focus on him pls 😂

overall, really loved it, and I seriously cannot fucking wait for the next one (like, the ending??? I won't stop thinking about it until the next episode 😂)

#911 spoilers #911 #911 fox #long post #thoughts while watching

[slowdripsunrise]

MORE READING UPDATES OMLLLLLLL i forgor about this blog again. it will happen again tbh but i still have to go through all of the books i finished in late 2023 up to now... i'm gonna try and get as many as i can done but probably wont get all of them lol. probably very long post/rant + spoilers for various books under the cut

keep in mind i have shit memory and all of these books were finished a while ago so be warned for bad analysis and summaries

-How High We Go in the Dark by Sequoia Nagamatsu: this book was a collection of short stories that are interconnected through characters and a central storyline - a plague. i thought the concept was super interesting and i had heard really good things about it from people i share a reading taste with so i went into this expecting to be blown away and i just. wasnt. i LOVED some of the short stories and there were a few that made me cry, mainly snortorious and the robot dog story where the mom died, but other than that it was kinda a let down. the ending fucking sucked ngl. like i thought we were leading up to some profound moment, especially calling back to the chapter where people are relieving their memories in the dark, because i thought that was really compelling and interesting, but it was just fucking aliens. like it reallly feels like a cop out to me. like a whole "and it was all just a dream" type ending. im not gonna rate it actually yes i am i'd give it like 2.5-3 stars. only because some of the chapters were super hard hitting but other than that. meh.

-The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater: WHOOOOO BOY. i ate this shit up. god if i had read this in middle school or high school i am 100% certain it would have become my entire personality. like i fucking get it. i totally fucking get it. i'm treating the whole series as one book rn bc they all kinda blend together in my mind and its been a while but just. the fucking vibes. good lord the vibes were so good. can't pick out any 100% certain things i particularly noticed but i will reblog every webweave about this series there is trust. rating the entire series as 5 stars mostly because i listened to the audiobook and they did SUCH A GOOD JOB ON TH E AUDIOBOOK OML like. at first i was kinda thrown off bc i wasn't expecting it to be so. southern? but once i finished the first one i knew there was no way i could just go back to reading it with a physical book like audiobook all the way the narrator was so awesome and i love the southernness of it.

-What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher: my first t. kingfisher book! i loved the vibes, the world, the whole new set of pronouns, that shit was so fun, overall a nice short and sweet creepy ass fucking book. like im a huge wimp so i was deffo nervous and freaked out at some points, especially with the rabbits lol idk why but those were unnerving. the author did a really good job of conveying the mc's anxiety and fear while also adding in some humor and soldier rationality and stoicism. lol. cute i liked it 3.5/4 stars.

-Fault Lines by Emily Itami: tbh mostly picked this one up for the cover and it was really just a standard cheating story where the mc gets back together with her original husband because of their kids. nothing i remember to be groundbreaking at all really. 2.5 stars

-Olga Dies Dreaming by Xochitl Gonzalez: I really wasn't expecting to like this book as much as I did. the pov changes i think were very well done and intentional and weren't confusing at all! the narrators for the audiobook were wonderful and really brought life to the story, a lovely book.

-She Who Became the Sun by Shelley Parker-Chan: honestly, looking back on it, i was never really captivated by this story. it took me a long time to get into it, and i really never connected with any of the characters. a lot of it was more confusing than not, and i'm honestly not sure if i feel the need to continue the series. may be a case of me not being in the right mood for it, but i don't see myself trying it again. kinda sad cuz i was excited to love this but oh well. win some lose some.

-Cloud Cuckoo Land by Anthony Doerr: hands down my fav book of 2023 and one of my fav books of all time. like i have a feeling this review is going to be either very long or very short because there is no way i will be able to write out all the ways i love this book. the owl motif. the environmental extremism from seymore that i can 100% relate to. the way that he fell down that path in a way that felt realistic to me, based on his circumstances, and it isn't implied in my opinion, that all autistic people are like this, that all autistic people can take things to the extreme like seymore did. the audiobook was wonderful. the interconnected stories over time i think is one of my new favorite tropes/plots/metas. if done well (cough how high we go in the dark) it gets me every single time. XENO and everything about him. i was listening to the audiobook at work and during his death i had to fight back tears lol. god. and the kids in the play and how they wanted to end the story.... fuck my life. and konstance and her curiosity and oh my god everything about this book messed me up. 5/5 i think thats all i'll be able to say before i combust.

-Chlorine by Jade Song: what a weird little book. really liked it. audiobook slayed. not much else to say. recommend for weird lesbians. 3.5/4 stars.

-A Dowry of Blood by S. T. Gibson: THE AUDIOBOOK NARRATOR IS SO FUCKING GOOD AT HER JOB I COULD LISTEN TO HER TALK ALL DAY I THINK IM IN LOVE WITH HER. the story was really good love a good vampire story love a good creepy story. fun time. listened to the audiobook in like an hour hour and a half car ride it was a good time. 3.5 stars.

and that ends off all of the books i read in 2023 !!!!!!! YIPPEEE!!!!! i'll stop here and make a separate post for the books i've read so far in 2024 just for organizational purposes and also because i am hungry and need to stop lol. if you made it this far through the post i love you and also sorry for the long rant but also too bad because this is my blog and you clicked on it. happy reading :)

#book review #thoughts.txt #how high we go in the dark #the raven cycle #trc #what moves the dead #fault lines #olga dies dreaming #she who became the sun #cloud cuckoo land #chlorine #a dowry of blood

[i-am-focused]

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT I'LL POST ABOUT THEM even though no one asked

okay so i've been gone for... a bit. But it's cause I have a hyperfixation on this fuckin' cod oc that I made cause my friend also made one that is his special interest and we wanted them to be gay and we wanted to rp them. so yeah, that's where i've been and thats where i'm at. Okay, so i assume cause i'm doing this my friend will post his as well, so im gonna mostly focus on fly (his life) and his relationship with shark.

DISCLAIMER: we fucked these guys up, like big time, they are so mega traumatized and not just cause of the military. a lot of the stuff in fly's backstory is stuff i have experience with but honestly he just kept getting more fucked up over time cause the issues kept building on eachother and woof. damn. anyway, tw for sh, suicide, addiction, and just like, unhealthy shit.

Pt 1. FLY

okay so, his name isn't actually fly, its Jamie Flynn but that's his callsign. The callsign came from 3 things, his speed/difficulty when it comes to getting caught, his perspective on situations is a lil different, and his last name is Flynn so its that shortened.

RAPID FIRE INFO: Alright, so he's irish, hes got the ginger goin on cause i had to yk. he was raised in Dublin but his voiceclaim is hozier (normal speaking voice) cause i cannot be that stingy about accents rn. He is currently a Sergeant in the 141, youngest member according to hc and canon calculations. He's 25 and only recently joined, prior to that he was in the Irish military from the end of highschool till now. He's gay, he's cis, he has ADHD, he had a rough childhood (we'll get into that later), he is also 1 inch taller than ghost (6'5") and he's a demolition's expert amogst other stuff.

TRAUMA SHIT - so he has more recent issues but i'll start from the beginning, growing up he was in a not terrible family but his parents mostly ignored him and he sort of raised himself most of the time. He didn't have a ton of friends but he did have one named Ben. now, the issues REALLY kick in when he witnessed Ben get shot. This fucked him up and he didn't really have a support system and his parents weren't involved in his life so that grief and confusion and loneliness just sort of manifested as anger and poor behavior. he got in a lot of fights in highschool, he was a really tall kid back then but he got his ass beat a lot and his parents just made it worse cause they didn't want to deal with him and just yelled at him and stuff for it. eventually this became larger, criminal problems. he did do some drugs in highschool but nothing super super serious, but he did start hotwiring cars and going on joyrides, which got him arrested at the ripe old age of 16. His parents had just had his twin brothers at this point and didn't want him around or have to deal with him anymore after this so they passed him off to a family friend named Sean who was actually really good to Jamie. The first few months were rough and it almost seemed to get better but then Jamie's parents disowned him fr and he realized he was never going to be with his family before and it broke him. and here's were that tw comes in cause he did attempt by overdose. after that his relationship with sean improved, he went to therapy, he started boxing as an outlet, and he improved. He was by no means perfect, he was a C average student in school and he still got into fights but not nearly as frequent as before.

tldr: he's got abandonment issues, anxiety, depression stuff, and he turned out sort of okay? maybe? no that's a lie, you'll see.

MILITARY AND MORE TRAUMA - He joined the military out of highschool and after he had been there for a bit he decided to try training for demolitions cause Sean did construction demolitions and he always found it interesting. all was well for a while untill when he was 19 there was an exercise and things went VERY poorly, another trainee's device went off behind Jamie, it killed the trainee and left fly with a lot of very severe burns and scars on his back and other injuries that left him in a hospital for a few weeks. This left him out of commision for a while but he picked up again 6 months later and got back right where he left off, unfortunately he had developed a new issue. Oxycontin. it was perscribed to him for the pain during his recovery and they never stopped his prescrption because of his claims of long lasting pain. he was absolutely an addict for a couple years but he tried to quit and now while he still does take it, it is far less frequent and generally only when hes having some really really bad mental health issues, unfortunatley it does mean he combines it with alcohol. Anyway, he continued where he left off (just with some more issues) rising the ranks and gaining a rep until eventually he was recruited by the 141 task force.

Now how does all of this trauma affect him today? - welp. he doesnt maintain any close relationships, hasn't taken off his shirt in front of another person (unless forced or sedated) for 6 years, he has some pretty major anxiety problems, abuses substances to get through his hard times, severe intrusive thoughts, and has some genuinely awful intimacy/attachment problems. by that i mean he is still a virgin, never had a serious romantic relationship and keeps anyone (even sean) at an arms length. this includes shark, at least for some time.

see, he panics and has severe anxiety about allowing himself to get close to anyone, mostly cause he's got some past experiences that convince him that they'll leave again. so lets get into Shy.

SHY (shark and fly)

Shark, or Andy Lane, is another member of the 141, hes 29 and a Lieutenant. He is much closer with soapghost and everyone else in the 141 and has been there for a lot longer and has a romantic/platonic relationship with soapghost as well. He's autistic and hes got a lot of problems. he also has a service dog named Thresher who fly loves. anyway, so right off the bat, their relationship is gonna be genuinely awful for a very long time. We rp this, so no specific outcome is guaranteed but, yeah things are gonna be really bad i'm not gonna lie to you. they both have so many problems that collide in the worst ways possible. Fly has abandonment issues, Shark pulls away when things get super bad. Shark avoids his relationship problems, Fly cannot let things slide. Both of them are very secretive about their problems and its just not a healthy relationship.

So whats happened so far? well, honestly not a ton ig, they met, got off on the wrong foot cause Shark doesn't do well with unexpected meetings. they flirted a little bit, trained a tiny bit together, and then got sent on a really short mission. after that they sort of just saw eachother around, found out that both of them refuse to shower unless they're alone in the showers, and that's sort of it for the first couple months. After that they got sent on a extended mission, not goin into details of it cause truth is we just wanted to make them live in a house together for an extended period of time cause otherwise they prob wouldn't get to know eachother very much. so we put them in this house, they have a bunch of funny little quirks in their friendship that i'll talk about sometime in the future, and yeah. They chill. at one point fly gets a lil high on the weed and shark flirts with him which was a terrible plan cause it just makes fly a bit gay for shark. Then they watch the conjuring and fly is surprisingly terrible with horror movies so shark makes fun of him and then lets fly hold his hand for the rest of the movie which is cute. (this is just about as wholesome as their relationship has gotten/will get) and then more recently they went to a bar together, shark flirted with some people and a very drunk fly got real jealous and then they had a little confrontation in the bathroom and fly ended up kissing him :D so after that happened they talked about it a super tiny bit and then left it for weeks cause fly didnt know what to do and he was sort of confused by the whole thing. now, MOST RECENTLY and ongoing, fly was acting weird and shark noticed, he got defensive and then shark demanded some sort of explanation for why he was being a dick. fly sort of broke down and started getting really freaked out by the whole thing cause he genuinely has no idea how he feels about it and how to move forward. anyway, he cries, tells shark whats goin on, and shark talks to him, then flirts with him, then kisses him, and now they're making out in the kitchen. both of them trying not to freak out. So we have an outline, but i figure ill just give a monthly update on them or something cause this post is SO LONG OMG.

ill do another post with art cause i've been drawing them and i am way too proud of this borderline gay porn that i've drawn. anyway. yeah, i love them, i'm obsessed with them. i would love to be asked about them. i literally listen to their playlist all the time and yeah. swag. thanks for listening to this true nightmare of formatting.

#cod modern warfare #call of duty mw2 #call of duty oc #cod oc #cod original character #oc rp #gay #i love men #shy

[milkygraveyard]

I feel good today! Even though a lot of crazy stuff has happened recently, and my cat got outside and has a limp, and I’m super confused on what exactly is going on in my life rn, I still managed to get stuff done for once

I’ve been stuck in this depression/anxiety hole for a WHILE now and even tho i don’t feel the best, I can tell that things are finally starting to clear up slowly

I finally put away all my clothes and tomorrow im going to try to go to the dmv early OR im going to clean my bed and piano stand lol. I want to set small goals for myself everyday so I can get things done.

Im sad because im going to have to dig into my savings real soon and I just feel like I was barely starting to save money :/ im also sad because things have been so confusing for me lately. I’ve been trying so hard not to have a crush on someone because they have a girlfriend and stuff, but he keeps trying to talk to me and hangs out with me literally every single morning. And he asks me questions about my family and he tells me about his and EWW I’m just so annoyed like leave me alone :( I hate it sm and he’s always just there hanging out with me even if we’re not talking he just always wants to be around me. And it’s so hard because I like his attention but I know I shouldn’t because it’s wrong and I wish he would just stop talking to me

Idk like why is he even talking to me and giving me that much attention all the time when he’s in a relationship. Like and it affects my feelings too because I do really like him and it’s not fair to me because I am not a side bitch or a homewrecker and I deserve someone who doesn’t have a girlfriend or a kid like is that really too much to ask for?? 😔 lol I’ve even made it a point to let him know that I am not a side bitch or anyone’s secret and that I never fucking settle for less and I deserve true love. Idk if he thinks he has a chance to fuck me or something but that will literally never happen and I feel like he knows that. Or at least he should by now because we’ve known each other for like two years now

Idk I don’t like being second :/ I want stability and a loyal future with someone. I also don’t want to believe that he’d cheat on his girlfriend with me because then that means that he’d do the same to me if anything ever happened LOL ok I sound delusional ok bye