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bonefall · 2 months

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So, your Clear Sky post is absolutely horrifying, but it was very needed, so thank you. What are your general thoughts on tackling his abuse for the AU? Like you've said, pretending he's a good guy is not the way to go, but are you planning on toning down *some* of the situations, just to give some of the cats a break? Clear Sky is a very realistic depiction of abusers, but that seems to come across even without victim number 25, yknow? I'm very curious about how you'd like to go about this.

My most recent big change was bringing Slash back into the fold, because I realized that it was actually a disservice to not address where DOTC's themes dip into Colonialism. It's a hard topic, and I'm still trying to work out the details, but I realized it was important.

With how BB!DOTC is such a MASSIVE overhaul, to properly address abuse and the ways it impacts you, ableism and its violence, and xenophobia broadly, a huge reworking of Slash belonged here too. He's one of the greatest examples of how badly WC demonizes non-Clanborn cats. I shouldn't dance around it.

That's what I need to do with Skystar.

MANY of his victims have happier endings than canon, though. Bumble is one of the most famous, bumped up into a major character and directly responsible for the formation of ThunderClan. Bright Storm is taking most of Gray Wing's roles. Birch and Alder are getting examined, with either a father who wants his kids back or Milkweed as the mate of Misty.

A lot of people will die because of him, even more will be hurt, but I see BB!DOTC as a story about victims and survivors.

Others might grab POVs here and there, but as a response to canon which I feel is Clear Sky's story told in many parts, I center this rewrite around Thunder Storm. The path of kindness he marches down, with love and with anger, and the people he helps.

So BB!Star Flower...

Previously I was playing her as ENTIRELY just manipulating Clear Sky. She was loyal to One Eye and trying to get at Skystar to bleed him dry for 8 lives to sacrifice; but connected to Thunderstar over recognizing him as a victim who deserves her idea of justice. So, she offers Thunderstar the final kill, so her father will be grateful to him and he'll get power AND the death of his abuser.

(When Thunderstar looks upon Skystar, pathetic and neutralized down to one life, he thinks about the collateral damage that will descend upon the forest if he accepts the deal. He decides that he has found the line between Justice and Justification. Of course he wants the power to make his enemies cower, protect his people, and eliminate Clear Sky so he never threatens them again; that's not the problem.

He can still do these things. He wouldn't NEED the power of a war god to do so.

But if One Eye returns, he will be endlessly hungry, ruthlessly dedicated to revenge, and set out to devour the whole forest. Everything would get worse, and even more people he loves would die. It's where his desire to destroy a monster would lead to him BECOMING one.)

Even on its face, it was previously missing an element. There's a step between "Starf decides to bring One Eye back" and "Starf offers Thunderstar the final kill" that was bare. This is the piece that was missing-- That she, herself, is trying to reach out to the only person who's ever really understood her.

But more importantly... I do feel this topic belongs here, in BB!DOTC. Abuse is a MAJOR theme. SKYSTAR is a monster already. He's harmed two wives in BB (Bright Storm and Falling Cry) and played toxic games with all three kits (Thunder Storm, Pale Sky, Tiger Sky).

And I'd avoid Star Flower being abused... why? Because it's uncomfortable to confront the pattern that Clear Sky displays? That in-canon, he tries to cut all his victims into the same ideal shape, from Storm to Thunder to Star Flower? ...it should be uncomfortable. Everything that I described in Clear Sky Is A Monster is rooted in the same desire for control, power, and punishment most abusive people share, he just happens to be a severe example.

Yes. That includes how he treats his child and romantic partners. The parallels that are drawn between Starf and Thunder are there because he wants power in the form of obedience. Starf replaces the son as a narrative award for his "growth" of not killing random people anymore for a while.

A cookie cutter is an effective tool because IT ONLY MAKES ONE SHAPE.

You know what's more uncomfortable? Reading canon!DOTC and seeing someone who hurt you reflected almost perfectly in the character the writers think did nothing wrong. Because of "good intentions" that were not there.

I will say though, just to be clear; I don't see a purpose in being more than PG-13 about serious topics for this project. I promise none of my intentions have changed. Nothing will be more graphic or gorey than canon WC-- just more intentional.

I'm keeping the sacrifice because it's dope. No one is taking this from me. Girl Moment: Killed her awful husband 8 times to count as 8 sacrifices and offered the last life to her buddy as a show of good will. How else do you make friends outside of high school

But I know now that Star Flower NEEDS to keep the canon fact she has very little agency, UNTIL that moment she snaps.

She's sacrificing one abuser to try and bring back a bigger, badder one, because in spite of everything, her father One Eye always made her feel safe. Even though he promised her off to Skystar, and expected her to be willing to die for him. She's followed every command, every order, past the death of his mortal vessel.

The first, and only, selfish choice she's ever made was in reaching out to Thunderstar to offer him the power of her father.

Thunderstar's Justice is a story about a Thunder Storm at the pinnacle of his arc, how the survivors of his Clan are settling into the new normal after the carnage of The First Battle, how Skystar's arrogance brings a violent god to the Forest... and the connection Thunderstar makes with the daughter of a monster.

#Kronk meme: ''Oh Yeah. It's all coming together''#I'll be making the fragments in another post #Just because this one's getting really long #It works well as an explanation of my intentions #I think I had been making a mistake previously to conceive of BB!Starf as a femme fatale who seduced Sky #Again: I'm not perfect! As I analyze and re-read with a more critical eye. My art changes.#Tho I will admit I do like the idea of a Starf who is totally cognizant of how she can manipulate a villain #Into doing what she wants. I do love myself a powerful and scheming woman #It's that it didn't fit my story or my themes OR even the purpose of BB as a fixit that addresses canon #Better bones au #BB!DOTC #BB!Star Flower #BB!Skystar #BB!Thunder Storm #Also imo this philosophy will let me make BB!One Eye what I think he deserves and works best as #THE WORSE OF TWO EVILS #The Tyrant of Tyrants #And man.... the idea that Skystar becomes the Clan patron of war...#The God of Summer laughs at him.#''Outdone and reeling your wounded pride speaks the words your tender mouth can never say''#''That you were outclassed and now you obsess over the bigger monster you aren't good enough to become''#''You fell into the step of a lion and think you can replicate what my paw does without effort.''#Cw abuse #Tw abuse #Abuse #Child abuse

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cosmics-beings · 10 months

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EarthSpark Starscream as an 'apology' to TFP Starscream thoughts.

And maybe, grieving TFP Starscream as well for the pain he went through.

Last thing I'm going to say about episode 21 starscream (save for reblogging people's points) because I legitimately wanted to take a break and write/draw, is that I wonder if the ES crew was looking specifically at how TFP starscream was treated and saying 'we don't wanna do that again'. because not only was tfp star's abuse laughed at but it was justified, not just by the writing but the fans. even though, at least I, could see that starscream didn't deserve half of the shit he got in tfp. But he was always intentionally made to be a joke or comic relief, and it was really upsetting when trying to discuss that, having people dissuade points or saying he deserved his abuse because he 'betrayed megatron'. when canonically in TFP, Starscream didn't betray megatron until megatrons started physically mistreating him.

GOING back to ES. I just think that ES Starscream is supposed to be like an apology, or even a love-letter to TFP Starscream. Because TFP Starscream and by extension RID Starscream never got to find happiness, he never got to get that redemption or that support system. he was always seen as inexplicitly evil, EVEN when he tried to help the autobots, even when he tried to do good. I will never forgive tfp for making Starscream the only decepticon who didn't get redemption when he did more than all of them to help the autobots. Like he tried so hard at moment and was essentially treated worse than garbage by the writing.

More of what im trying to say is that it's extremely fitting but also refreshing to hear Blum's starscream, who we previously just knew from TFP who was a clear victim of trauma, treated like shit, finally getting the happiess and the nuance he deserves. It is so nice to not see the pain he goes through being justified or made a joke. Because if someone told tfp starscream what hashtag told ES Starscream, then there would've been an actual change. But no one did, not even the autobots. Most people ridiculed him. But can you imagine if someone protected tfp star, how he'd react? how he'd change?

SO ES starscream is just, to me at least an 'i'm sorry you were treated this way, it was never funny' to TFP starscream because even if tfp is done and over, you can't help but feel TFP Starscream is getting justice as well. And of course this isn't to take away from the victory that ES Starscream has, and it's not taking away from his narrative nor decentering him. Seeing him not be just a victim but a survivor of abuse and smiling at the end, and being happy and living on his own terms is nice for once. And even tho we'll never get that with TFP Starscream, i can't help but feel he can finally rest easy.

I can't help but grieve Prime Starscream, because he never got this, and his story ended with him being inexplicitly seen as evil and deserving of his abuse. But this is a step in the right direction.

#like i said i had some issues with ep 21 - but the way starscream's abuse and talk with hashtag was handled was not one at all #and i am so happy for him #and i find myself sad for tfp starscream but it's like you take your wins #starscream #transformers earthspark

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multiplicity-positivity · 13 days

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Here’s some positivity for indigenous systems who are affected by or involved with the MMEIP/MMIGW2S+ movements!

Indigenous systems have always been and will always be important, beloved, and integral members of the plural community! May 5 was an Action day for Murdered, Missing, and Exploited Indigenous Peoples (MMEIP) and Murdered and Missing Indigenous Girls, Women, and 2 Spirit (MMIGW2S+) folks. Those systems who are involved in these movements deserve our unwavering support and should be embraced, accepted, centered, and uplifted in our spaces! So here’s to all the indigenous systems who are affected by these movements!

🌕 Shoutout to traumagenic indigenous systems whose were traumatized by being exploited in some way!

🌿 Shoutout to indigenous systems who are active members of MMIGW2S+ or MMEIP movements, whether locally or online!

✨ Shoutout to indigenous systems who are trafficking survivors, RAMCOA/OEA survivors, or survivors of complex trauma!

🌷 Shoutout to indigenous systems who are mourning the loss of a missing or murdered friend, family member, or loved one!

🍃 Shoutout to indigenous systems who live in fear due to the prevalence of indigenous people being murdered, abducted, abused, or exploited!

☀️ Shoutout to indigenous systems who raise awareness about the MMIGW2S+ and MMEIP movements in their own spaces!

🌺 Shoutout to indigenous systems who struggle with not being believed or taken seriously by others when they voice concerns over their loved ones being murdered, exploited, or going missing!

☘️ Shoutout to indigenous systems who have lost faith in or have been traumatized by the criminal justice system!

☁️ Shoutout to indigenous systems who share resources, build support networks, and have strong solidarity with other indigenous folks to help each other cope with the harsh realities of being multiply marginalized!

🌼 Shoutout to indigenous systems who wish the plural community was more receptive and invested in raising awareness about the MMIGW2S+ and MMEIP movements!

🌱 Shoutout to indigenous systems who are mourning, grieving, broken-hearted, angry, anxious, frustrated, or numb about the propensity for indigenous women, children, and 2 spirit folks to be murdered, exploited, or go missing!

🌹 Shoutout to indigenous systems who need support, who need access to specialized services and healthcare, but who aren’t able to receive that care for any reason!

💐 Shoutout to indigenous systems, especially women, children, and 2 spirit folks, who are fighting to preserve their cultural heritage, traditions, and way of life in the face of colonization, genocide, and cultural appropriation!

🌟 Shoutout to indigenous systems who celebrate the lives and legacies of the women, children, queer, trans, fem, and 2 spirit folks in their own tribes, families, and communities!

Indigenous systems, we cannot claim to know or understand your experience or what it is like to live with the knowledge of how common it is for your people to be murdered, exploited, or go missing. Still, know that our heart goes out to you, we want to be your ally and advocate for you, we want to uplift your voices however we can. You belong in our spaces, and you are a crucial part of the plural community just the way you are.

We hope that every indigenous system who reads this can have a wonderful day today. We hope your future is filled with peace, rest, happiness, comfort, justice, and fulfillment! If there is anything at all we can do to be a better ally to you, please let us know. Do your best to take care of yourself and your system! We’re rooting for you, we care about you, and we’re wishing you the very best in all that you do!

‼️ Non-indigenous systems are welcome and encouraged to reblog, but DO NOT derail or try to center your voice over actual indigenous systems and those who are actually affected by MMEIP and MMIW2S+ movements! ‼️

#plurality #pluralgang #multiplicity #actuallyplural #system positivity #plural positivity #plural pride #system pride #indigenous systems #two spirit systems #mmeip #mmiwg2s #murder #ramcoa #exploitation #colonization #genocide #long post

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jewishvitya · 10 months

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I was having a conversation about "narcissistic abuse" with a person with NPD. We were talking about the need to call out toxic behaviors that might come with unmanaged NPD, and how it's nothing like what we see now online. We talked about how people like them, who want to treat others well and manage their disorder, deserve to have resources that help them have healthy relationships. And they thanked me for not immediately assuming the worst of them. Which. Just shows you how they're used to being treated.

They got suicide baiting from random strangers just for the fact that they have NPD.

I've seen people getting told "this is doing nothing but making me feel awful about myself" and responding with "you should feel awful about yourself, you're a narcissist!"

It's dangerous to equate abuse with narcissism. It's dangerous to see people with NPD as deserving of harm. Most people with NPD will already be victims of abuse - that's how the disorder is usually developed. If you buy into the idea that they're abusive by nature, you're harming survivors.

There's no harmless way to dehumanize an entire group of people. Especially not over a trait they can't help.

Victims and survivors of abuse should get to talk about their experiences. This doesn't require diagnosing anyone and it doesn't require using a term that's associated with a disorder that's already seen as an inherent evil. There's no kind of abuse that's inherent or exclusive to a specific disorder. I hear the term "coercive control" which sounds really good for the kind of emotional and psychological abuse that gets discussed in those conversations, without adding ableist stigma.

If your opposition to ableism doesn't include people with the most stigmatized disorders, how deeply are you truly thinking about things.

The harm caused to people with NPD through stigma is enough for this to matter. But in addition to that, it's harmful to other people too.

First of all, because you buy into having a group of people who become acceptable targets over a condition they can't help.

Second, because you teach yourself to armchair diagnose people. Which means that you get to put whoever you want into the "acceptable target" group.

When you have a group of people that you think don't deserve to be treated as people, it's easier to persuade you to put unrelated people in that category. Think of the way accusations of "child predator!" are wielded against queer people too. This is not an uncommon tactic.

And it's already a thing here. Sam Vaknin was the one who coined the term narcissistic abuse. That's a man with no credentials to talk about mental health or about abuse. He's a hateful bigoted person. The things that he considers narcissistic include homosexuality, transgender identities, and women who sleep with multiple men instead of settling down with one.

If you buy into the idea that having NPD essentially means being abusive, and then all these things are all narcissistic things. At that point we have a line drawn between queerness and abuse, using the line that was drawn between NPD and abuse.

And another point, about the harassment people with NPD get, is - we shouldn't be punishing people. Just, in general. Punishment isn't justice and it isn't accountability. Withstanding whatever harm people see fit to inflict on you because they were convinced to hate you, rightfully or not, isn't justice or accountability. Even if you convinced yourself that the harm isn't real because… it happens in the virtual space? And that makes it fake somehow?

Think of the way people online talk about narcissists. Think of how easily they armchair diagnose NPD, calling any abuser a narc, and sometimes from one sided stories. And the way people hurry to cyberbully and dogpile.

Abusers will often paint their victims as the abusive ones as a way to escape being known as abusive. And if you take the job of punishing people that you decided deserve it, you will at some point become a tool of an abuser trying to further harm their victim.

Even if you see evidence, it's easy to fake and manufacture. And it'll only become easier with voice and video AI tools. And even if it's all true, punishing people does nothing good.

Convincing you that a group of people is inherently dangerous is a way to make you willing to harm them, or stand by as harm is being done to them. People with NPD don't deserve that.

Stop looking for people that it's acceptable to harass and punish and ostracize. Most of us are susceptible to mob mentality, and having acceptable targets makes you dangerous.

#npd #riki babbles #ableism #npd stigma

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ukrfeminism · 3 months

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The government is facing calls for a public inquiry into the scandal of sexual abuse in mental health hospitals, following an investigation by The Independent.

Rape Crisis England and Wales has warned that the “alarming” scale of abuse within the UK’s psychiatric system requires “major intervention” from ministers.

It comes after an expose by this publication and Sky News revealed that almost 20,000 reports of sexual incidents – involving both patients and staff – had been made in more than half of NHS mental health trusts in the past five years.

As well as a public inquiry, which would give survivors the chance to give evidence, Rape Crisis England and Wales wants the government to appoint a named minister with responsibility for addressing the problem.

PraisingThe Independent and Sky News for shedding light on the scandal, chief executive Ciara Bergman said: “That anyone in the already vulnerable position of needing or being detained for in-patient care because of their mental health needs should experience sexual violence and abuse whilst in the care of the state, is deeply concerning.

“We are concerned that without major intervention and leadership at the highest levels, this could lead to more incidents of sexual violence and abuse happening, and this behaviour being accepted as inevitable, when it is not, and is indeed absolutely preventable.”

The charity added that it had been raising our concerns about widespread safeguarding issues uncovered by The Independent for many years. “It is disturbing that so little has seemingly changed,” it added.

As part of the investigation, The Independent published a series of harrowing stories revealing allegations of rape and sexual assault on patients and staff in mental health hospitals.

In an exclusive podcast, Patient 11, one woman, Alexis Quinn, revealed the harrowing story of having to escape a mental health ward after claiming she was sexually assaulted twice.

We also revealed shocking failures by the NHS and police to follow up on allegations, with figures showing just 26 charges came from nearly 1,400 reports to the police.

After the revelations, the health minister said allegations of sexual abuse in mental health settings would become part of a major review.

Rape Crisis England and Wales also called for hospitals to ensure they have women-only wards after figures showed more than 500 claims of assaults and rape on mixed sex wards have been made since 2018.

Despite the NHS launching a “sexual safety” programme in 2019, The Independent and Sky News revealed hospitals are not adhering to key requirements of the guidance.

The news comes after NHS England published new survey data last week showing 80,000 – 8 per cent – of NHS staff reported experiencing unwanted sexual behaviour from colleagues and patients last year.

An NHS spokesperson said: “Any form of abuse or sexual violence is completely unacceptable. Everyone deserves to feel safe when they come to the NHS for their healthcare needs, often at a time when they are vulnerable.”

In September NHS England published its NHS Sexual Safety Charter which provides guidance for healthcare systems in addressing sexual misconduct risks and signing up to a “zero tolerence” approach. So far 260 organisations have signed up.

“The NHS has made clear that every provider of our services has a legal and moral duty to safeguard patients, to report all incidents of sexual violence, and to take appropriate action with the criminal justice system and safeguarding bodies where harm has occurred,” it added.

A Department of Health and Social Care spokesperson said: “Sexual violence or misconduct of any kind is unacceptable and NHS organisations have a responsibility to protect both staff and patients. The Department has zero tolerance and is clear that the NHS should work to stop sexual assaults happening in NHS services and premises.

“We have been clear patients should not have to share sleeping accommodation with others of the opposite sex and should have access to segregated bathroom and toilet facilities, and we expect NHS trusts to comply with these measures.”

It did not respond to calls for a public inquiry but said it was working with mental health services to ensure every patient has safe care and that safety body the Health Services Safety Investigations Body has launched a national investigation into mental health inpatient settings.”

#articles #mvawg #Health

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stranger-rants · 2 years

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Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) & What That Means for Billy

ACEs are something that I think Stranger Things fans have to understand if they’re going to talk about Billy Hargrove. I don’t care so much if people like him, but I do care when people make callous remarks about abuse survivors because of their reaction to him. Billy is not real, but I am. Many people including myself have similar experiences to Billy. So, I am going to explain what ACEs are as they pertain to Billy as well as why you need to stop saying some of the things you’re saying about him.

Before any of you comes at me with “You can understand him, but it doesn’t excuse x, y, or z…,” I need you to stop and think critically about whether or not you’re using that statement as an excuse for yourself to avoid any responsibility in examining the way you think about trauma and it’s survivors. I also need you to think about how your ideas re: justice disproportionately harm marginalized people because the rhetoric some of you use comes from a carceral, punitive mindset. It is not restorative and it does not reduce harm.

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) is a term used to identify and quantify the impact of childhood trauma on people. Theoretically, the more ACEs a person has the more likely they are to face negative life outcomes. That includes chronic disease, sexual exploitation, STIs/STDs, anxiety and depression, substance abuse, poverty and homelessness, as well as early death. However, there are ways to mitigate the effects of ACEs through support systems and interventions.

ACEs are common. Most people have at least one ACE. There are some people who have a few ACEs. However, some people have a very high ACE score that puts them at a much higher risk for the above life outcomes. I have an ACE score around 8. That’s high. As a result, I have mental and physical health problems that need intervention in order for me to get better. As a child, I developed unhealthy coping skills while surviving abuse that made it difficult for me to access the supports I needed to get better.

What I would like people to understand is that the way we treat people with high ACEs impacts their ability to change. If you want someone like Billy to change, then you have to have empathy for abuse survivors. There is no way around it. If you mock or make light of the negative life outcomes he has experienced because you just don’t like him, that means you do not have empathy for abuse survivors. It does not matter if you think doing so protects the people he has harmed (e.g. Max, Lucas, Steve, et cetera). It is still harmful to us.

Now, if you have read all of that and you’re willing to listen then I’m going to talk about Billy’s ACE score down below. I will talk very openly about canon child abuse he faced as well as the implications of his behavior. I will also talk a little bit about what kind of supports a person like Billy would need. If you are not going to respect any of that, then simply do not engage with me. I cannot force you to lift your head out of the sand, and I do not deserve anyone’s vitriol over this. I think I am being very reasonable.

I am going to base Billy’s ACE score off of this questionnaire. It was featured on NPR, and it’s based on the questionnaire used on the CDC-Kaiser Study on ACEs. There are 10 questions. Any ACE score deserves intervention, but keep in mind that an ACE score over 5 is very high. Here are the questions with responses pertaining to Billy’s canon experiences:

1) Before your 18th birthday, did a parent or other adult in the household often or very often… swear at you, insult you, put you down, or humiliate you? Or act in a way that made you afraid that you might be physically hurt?

Billy’s father does swear at him. He insults his appearance. He calls his son a p***y and a f****t. He does this in front of other people. Billy freezes up when threatened by him and acts in ways to avoid being hurt by him. ACE score so far: 1.

2) Before your 18th birthday, did a parent or other adult in the household often or very often…push, grab, slap, or throw something at you?Or ever hit you so hard that you had marks or were injured?

Billy’s father does smack him. He’s pushed him. He’s thrown him to the ground. ACE score so far: 2.

3) Before your 18th birthday, did an adult or person at least five years older than you ever…touch or fondle you or have you touch their body in a sexual way? Or attempt or actually have oral, anal, or vaginal intercourse with you?

This may be controversial, but I think this may be implied. It’s already been discussed that Billy is hyper sexual. This is not typical or healthy behavior, and behavior like this usually indicates a history of sexual abuse. However, we just don’t know 100% other than the fact that adult women have exhibited predatory behavior towards him even before turning 18. ACE score so far: 2 or 3.

4) Before your eighteenth birthday, did you often or very often feel that… no one in your family loved you or thought you were important or special? Or your family didn’t look out for each other, feel close to each other, or support each other?

This is obvious, as it serves as one of Billy’s major conflicts. The last time he felt happy was when he was a young child. His parents fought all the time. His father never supported him. Susan ignores the fact that Neil abuses him. No one showed any interest in his well-being. ACE score so far: 3 or 4.

5) Before your 18th birthday, did you often or very often feel that… you didn’t have enough to eat, had to wear dirty clothes, and had no one to protect you? Or your parents were too drunk or high to take care of you or take you to the doctor if you needed it?

It’s not clear how well Billy’s material needs are met, but there was absolutely no one protecting him in his household. His room, though decorated, is still pretty bare compared to his sister. Billy is fairly independent because no one really takes care of him. ACE score so far: 4 or 5.

6) Before your 18th birthday, was a biological parent ever lost to you through divorce, abandonment, or other reason?

Yes. His parents not only separated/divorced, but his mother abandoned him. He had no choice but to live with his abuser. ACE score so far: 5 or 6.

7) Before your 18th birthday, was your mother or stepmother: often or very often pushed, grabbed, slapped, or had something thrown at her? Or sometimes, often, or very often kicked, bitten, hit with a fist, or hit with something hard? Or ever repeatedly hit over at least a few minutes or threatened with a gun or knife?

Yes. His mother was abused by his father as well, which may have been the motivation behind her leaving. Billy tried to intervene as a child, but his father pushed him down. ACE score so far: 6 or 7.

8) Before your 18th birthday, did you live with anyone who was a problem drinker or alcoholic, or who used street drugs?

Again, this is tricky. Billy is a substance abuser. It is likely that his father is a substance abuser as well, but we just don’t know enough. ACE score so far: 6-8.

9) Before your 18th birthday, was a household member depressed or mentally ill, or did a household member attempt suicide?

This is also tricky. Billy exhibits symptoms of mental illness. I know Dacre mentioned Billy having anxiety recently. It would not surprise me if his mother or father exhibited symptoms of mental illness, too. ACE score so far: 6-9.

10) Before your 18th birthday, did a household member go to prison?

We also don’t know much about this. I believe in Runaway Max, Billy himself has had run-ins with cops. He certainly participates in illegal behavior. I don’t get the feeling that his father actively likes to break the law and I don’t think there’s ever any indication that Neil has been arrested for abusing Billy. Still, it is a possibility that Billy has negative experiences with the legal system. ACE score so far: 6-10.

So, all in all, we know for a fact that Billy has at least an ACE score of 6 with a maximum of 10. What does that mean for him? It is very likely for someone like Billy to develop Complex PTSD as a result. CPTSD usually stems from prolonged trauma rather than a single event. CPTSD makes it difficult for people to form healthy attachments and regulate their emotions. Not only that, but having an ACE score this high is associated with risky behavior, hyper sexuality, and substance abuse.

From the CDC-Kaiser Study, here is a graphic representation of common outcomes experienced by people with high ACEs:

We know Billy dies by supernatural forces, but it is no coincidence that he died young as an abuse survivor with a high ACE score. His inability to form healthy attachments and regulate his emotions isolated him from the support systems that could have helped him. Will didn’t ultimately succumb to the Mindflayer because he had a family who loved him and fought for him. Still, it says a lot that he decided to sacrifice himself after a single person decided to reach out to him and help him even just a little bit through his trauma.

I know many people still want him to make amends for his wrongs, but at that point in his life it was very difficult for him to do so. You have to understand that ACEs are an injury, and if you do not let them heal then a person can never get better. What happens when you say or suggest that someone like him can’t change or doesn’t deserve change or deserved to die like that or the like is you trap abuse survivors in this cycle until they no longer survive.

It is a good thing that people have decided to step outside of that punitive, carceral, ‘revenge’ mindset to humanize an abuse survivor. In doing so they are not “making excuses” but rather recognizing that change and healing cannot take place when we think like that. It is not justice. It does not restore justice to victims of violence. It does not stop the perpetuation of violence. Furthermore, using guilt and shame as a motivator for change does not help people like Billy heal from their trauma because it does not recognize their trauma.

If you still do not like Billy after all of this, I do not care. My goal is not to change minds on that front.

If after this you still think it’s okay to mock the abuse he went through (ie. Joking about his death, joking or justifying his father abusing him, and/or saying he deserved any of it) then YOU are the problem! You have no right to be sanctimonious, because YOUR behavior is as systematically harmful as Billy’s own prejudices and as much as some of you like to parrot that he’s “racist and homophobic” you should know that your mindset disproportionately punishes people marginalized on the basis of race or sexuality.

So please, learn what ACEs are and take them seriously. Do your research on ways to prevent ACEs. Think critically about how people talk about abuse survivors no matter how good or bad they seem. Barring trauma from the supernatural, Billy has one of the highest ACE scores out of any of the characters on the show. The fact that he receives some of the most heinous “criticisms” and there is a complete unwillingness to understand him reflects what people with high ACEs face on a regular basis.

That is a problem you CHOOSE to be complicit in.

#billy hargrove #stranger things #text post #aces #meta

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allovesthings · 8 months

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Let's talk about Arya and death.

Now before I start I would like to say something. this post isn't about a theory post about how Arya will die at the end. I don't think she will, I think she is going to be one of the survivors. I really dislike any theories where she does die because I love her,she is my favorite character. Also I just kinda don't see the point of making theories about how characters will die. It's just boring.

That said, Arya's link with death is really interesting. I already talked about the theory that she can hear (and maybe talk to) the dead. We have at least one concrete moment where it actually happens in Harrenhal in Arya X of a clash of kings in front of the heart tree and we have several other moments that could be that but were vague enough where he could just be her imagining it (she thinks she hears Syrio during the King's Landing wipe out and she hears Weasel's mother after she dies). We also have the moments with the dragon skulls. And to be fair, this might be foreshadowing other things like her future relationship with the last Targaryens but the skulls are dead and she still feels hostility (at first) and then protected like they were old friends (the second time).

There is also the fact that she is the only one who has a link to all the fire wrights. Arya met Beric and interacted with him and saw him die, She and Nymeria got her mother out of the water for the brotherhood to find and Jon died for her.She is linked to the three of them in death.

And then we get to the faceless men and while she is learning what mercy killing is with them and even before them and is literally wearing the face of the dead, she is clashing with their ideologies a lot. She doesn't like killing if it isn't justice in some way (that's why she is not going to be able to be an assassin). She thinks if there is a chance to live better then people should take it that's why she says:"they should have killed the masters" and later on when she wears blind beth's face she thinks the person who deserved to die was the person who abused her. She is also aware that there are inumane punishments worse than death and doesn't think anyone should go through that.

Which is why I think, at some point in the story later on, she might be an actual link between the dead and the living, I like the theory that maybe it is possible to negotiate a pact of ice and fire and she'll be a part of that. With the capacity to talk or even understand death and the dead but with the belief that being alive gives you chances and opportunities.

One thing that seems to corroborate that is the fact that she has water motifs all over her chapters and it seems to be her main element in a story where ice means death and fire means life, making her the person in the middle.

#asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #arya stark #arya and death #i feel like i'm saying things i already said before but here we are

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notmorbid · 2 months

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the angel of indian lake, pt. 2.

dialogue prompts from the angel of indian lake by stephen graham jones.

i feel there may be unresolved tensions between us.

what do the boy scouts say? 'leave it better than you found it'?

i should probably be vegetarian. maybe next week.

ghosts: nature's air conditioner.

don't look behind. only look ahead.

this isn't exactly the outfit i would have picked.

from the bottom of my chainsaw heart, thanks.

thank you for listening to me all the time.

your past doesn't foretell your future.

you've never tried to survive something like this.

you can't control who you're related to.

you can't be jonesing right now if you want to keep living.

that's not the kind of luck i have.

stay where the people are.

you know who doesn't get beheaded? the one who doesn't put their neck under the machete.

what kills people who are already dead?

we must be reading the signs wrong.

sometimes lies are the only thing that can keep you moving forward.

from what i understand about relationships, they're all about cold shoulders.

if i can be in the past, then i don't have to be here.

you're a survivor, through and through.

killing rages don't always distinguish between 'friend' and 'foe'.

'when'. not 'if'.

i'd rather die from the front than the back.

it's not a good day to die.

is the world going mad, or is it just me?

this really is starting again, isn't it?

the only things worth knowing are the things you're not supposed to know.

not all crying involves tears.

make this make sense.

the new me just wants to live.

what i want is for this to be a nightmare i'm in control of.

horror can save your life, if you let it.

i don't want to hear one single thing you say. ever.

i deserve a good ending, i think.

'the hits just keep on coming'. tagline on the movie poster of my life, right there.

i'm not leaving until you make me. maybe not even then.

if you're not a born final girl, i don't even know what one is.

i need my blood on the inside.

you've done this before, haven't you?

i feel like i'm missing something obvious.

there aren't any good fixes. there's just trying to make it through one moment, then the next.

it's not something you can get used to, but it can lose its surprise.

justice is just another stupid dream. all there is is luck.

all stories end where they begin. at least the good ones do.

i shouldn't have left you. i had a choice.

i'll be holding your hand. i'll keep you here.

i would have made it hurt more, if i'd known.

i get wanting to rip enough holes in the world so that it falls down.

know who you look like?

the land doesn't want you here.

i'm not coming to hang out if there's no nicotine. be serious.

once the limelight's done with you, you're relegated to the shadows to try to deal with it however you can. alone.

i still can't even cuss right.

it's you. it's always been you.

heaven doesn't want me and hell's afraid i'll take over.

you want to fight again, don't you?

you're off your meds, aren't you?

isn't this a dream i had once? a long way back?

there's no time to hide in the past. there never is, around here.

being sorry doesn't mean you can hide from it.

so much of my life is screaming.

giving second chances is inviting your abuser in for coffee so you can talk things through.

you didn't have to believe in me. you shouldn't have.

it doesn't matter. it was a long time ago.

no amount of damage done to someone erases what they've done to you.

you hold onto what you can, and you hold tight.

action. not words.

better to let the past stay back where it is.

dad and daughter stories can be good, too. some of them have to be.

i trained you too well. you're using my logic against me.

you're so beautiful.

you can't get rid of me this easy.

can't i just hate you and let that be that?

it's not about the numbers, it's about the names. the people.

blackmail doesn't work on me.

scars prove you lived.

i remember everything, even the stuff i don't want to.

i've seen all the movies. i know all the rules.

#rp meme #sentence starters #ask memes #ask meme #inbox memes #rp prompt #rp memes #horror meme

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notpaloe · 5 months

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nine years;

i’m sorry that I couldn’t save you;

I spent nearly 2 decades of my life going to church every Sunday with people that go against everything that I look for, just like you did. I was caught off from social media for two years straight just like you were for five months. I barely have acceptance from my family of my gender identity. Just like you did. struggling with my gender, dysphoria, and keeping my GPA at 3.0, just like you did;

so how the fuck am I still alive and you’re not;

my guiltiness stretches farther than ever;

I figured out when I was trans at 14 I was able to move all of my verbally and physically abusive father after two years when I graduated horribly. During my senior year, I went through two suicide attempts. I overdosed on 14 doses of Adderall, and had my stomach pumped to save my life; I am now with my mom still not perfect, but I’m still keeping going for you. You inspired so many people Leelah. Ever since you have a street of the highway you died in named after you. you have four cities in your home state agreed to ban conversion therapy. I was barely 9 when you’re died, I didn’t even know what suicide or LGBTQ in general was back then. Now at 18 I’m an openly, trans woman, and suicide survivor that still deals with these thoughts. I fight every day for you. I’m now in my freshman year of college. I’m in therapy support group called. transbody positive:) I really wish my 18 year old self could save you. I really wish my 18-year-old self new you. I would do anything to bring you back if I could. And this is coming from a stranger that you never met. But I’m continuing to live my life forever in your honor. you deserved better. You will get better. justice. There is never enough justice. we will fight for the day where you can finally get your wish so you can rest in peace. Until then, we fight;

And you’re right, there is no win but I’d rather choose to live my life as a lonelier woman trying to take on a journey to find my happiness;

and since I’ve been with my mom I found a love interest a month later that gives me so much gender euphoria it makes me feel more of a woman that anyone will ever treat me as such. No matter how much I don’t pass or How low my voice is that I hate, I always have them to reaffirm me. I hope you found the man that you love wherever you are. I hope you’re looking down on me smiling, and even if you’re not, I’m looking up at you always;

thank you for existing,

until next time, the transgender queen of hell<3

#thelazerprincess #lgbtqia #leelah alcorn #transgender #transfem #transgirl #transisbeautiful #trans woman #mtf trans #mtf girl #mtf hrt #mtf women #mtf positivity #lgbtq community #lgbtq positivity

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autisticasgore · 10 months

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i saw some really stupid, god awful takes today on twitter about survivors not reporting their abusers or putting them on blast publicly, and i don’t even know how to put it into words properly.

it originated from someone i used to follow on twitter and a lot of their followers were basically sharing the same sentiment, that if you don’t report the abuse as a survivor, you are allowing that person to get away with their actions and it somehow makes you just as bad as that person because it’s “letting them get away with it”. something like that.

putting aside how shitty and awful that is to say to a survivor who chooses not to speak up, i absolutely agree that survivors should have the ability and power to speak up, to report their abusers and to publicly warn them of their behaviour if necessary.

but a lot of the fucking time, survivors don’t have the resources or the power to and the authorities can often end up making things worse for the victim.

some courts and federal judges regularly release predators and give them a simple slap on the wrist, so going through all that court hell ends up sometimes being for nothing. people have to sit and live with the idea that they may have to potentially face their abuser in court just to listen to them defend the way they traumatised them.

and when it comes to publicly calling attention to their abuser, sometimes that can be traumatic as well and more often than not leads to harassment and so on forth.

so, while I absolutely agree that there SHOULD be more resources given to survivors so that they can heal from their trauma while getting the justice they deserve, I also absolutely don’t blame any survivors, much less children, who want to be left alone and to move on, who choose not to do anything for THEIR OWN SAFETY and sanity. shaming survivors for the different ways they heal is incredibly gross and detrimental.

it’s completely okay to want justice for victims, but when you go out of your way to shame them for simply wanting to move on from it, you are unreasonably asking them to cope in the same way that you do. because believe it or not, everyone heals and copes differently, and everyone has different situations going on in their life. you don’t know what their life is like or why they made the decision they made. stop assuming what you don’t know about a person.

if the victims just want to move on and heal, respect it. you will help them so much more than trying to imply that everyone who doesn’t have the perfect measured response is a shitty person.

#pixie.txt #tw abuse #tw grooming #yes this is about the camila cuevas situation #the way people have been talking about jakei and nyx makes my ass itch

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