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deadsetobsessions · 2 months

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“DIDJA SEE THAT, DANNY?!” Tim, a scrawny eleven year old now, excitedly smacked Danny’s arm.

“Ow. Yes, yes I did.”

“Oh, gosh, I have to tell Jazz about this!!” The kid waved his arms about wildly, grinning from ear to ear.

“Jaso- I mean, Robin, smiled at me! And said he liked my t-shirt!! Oh my god, he likes literature puns, he even laughed! And then he punched the bad guy in the face! Look! I even saved the tooth!”

“Okayyy, nope!” Danny plucked the tooth and tossed it, ignoring Tim’s betrayed face. “I’ll trade you that for this.”

Danny Held out a piece of paper with Robin’s and Batman’s sigil on it, from when he asked them to sign it after they “saved” the two brothers from the two-bit thugs trying to mug them.

“Oh. My. God. This is like the best day of my life!! I love you, Danny! You’re the best brother ever!! Oh my god! I have to get Nightwing’s signature!!!”

Danny felt a rush of warmth at Tim’s proclamation of affection. Ah, he should probably step in.

“Hey, wait, no, we’re not going to Blüdhaven for you to stalk another vigilante.”

“It’s not just any old vigilante-!” Tim ignored Danny’s dramatic clutching-pearls gesture of mock hurt. “It’s Nightwing. The original Robin! He gave me my first ever hug!”

Danny paused. God dammit.

“…Fine.”

“YESSSSSS!!!!”

——

Danny-

“I’m gonna be Robin whether you want me to or not!”

-is so damn tired.

“Tim. I’m literally a vigilante ghost. What makes you think I’d be stupid enough to argue with a kid who runs around Gotham at night to take pictures of other vigilantes?”

Tim deflated. “Oh. Honestly, I thought you’d put up more of a fight…”

Jazz laughed and ruffled Tim’s hair. “I definitely couldn’t stop Danny when he went out. He trusted me to support him and I trusted him to come to me if he was injured, though. Can you promise me that, Tim?”

“Yeah… okay, Jazz, I promise.” Tim promised, even if he was still pouty.

Danny chimed in.

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m totally worried and I’m gonna hover like a mother hen when you go out, but again, I know how stubborn and crazy we vigilante types have to be.” Danny paused. “Do you want me to put up a token protest?”

Tim nodded, sulking. “Yes, please. I had a speech planned out.”

Jazz and Danny exchanged amused glances.

“Oh, okay, my bad, kiddo. Here, let’s start from the top.”

“Okay. Ahem,” Tim straightened his back, settling into his previous mulish expression once more. “I’m gonna be Robin whether you want me to or not!”

Danny placed an appropriately disapproving frown on his face. “No, you can’t! It’s dangerous! You could get hurt! You’re just a child!”

Tim launched into his speech. “But I can’t stay still and do nothing when people are getting hurt! Even…!”

They were gonna be here for a while. There was definitely something about Batman going on a spiral because Jason wouldn’t be able to walk again after the Joker got to him. Danny wondered if ectoplasm could help. He might offer, if it actually had a change of getting Tim out of the vigilante business.

But that’s for later, because they had time. Jazz was on Spring Break… and they’re still staying here for free, after all of these years.

“So, how are you going to convince Robin to let you be Robin?” Jazz asked Tim.

Tim froze. “I… hadn’t thought of that yet.”

“Well, you could always remind him of the fact that we saved him from the Joker. He seemed pretty ready to leave the Robin mantle, the last time I saw him as Phantom.”

“I don’t want to blackmail him into it!” Tim whined.

“It’ll just be a suggestion, Tim.” Jazz smiled patiently.

“Besides,” Danny continued, smirking mischievously at his adopted little brother. “If you were actually blackmailing him, you’d pull out the photos where he ate dirt.”

“I guess that’s true…” Tim mumbled. “I know! I’ll have to follow them to see how I can best approach him!”

"I think that's called stalking," Jazz deadpanned.

"Well, it's not any worse than what he's already done." Danny shrugged at his older sister. "Sure, kid. Why not? Do whatever you want."

"I was planning to!" Tim bounced off to grab his photography gear. Jazz stared off after him.

"Should we be encouraging that?"

"More like can we actually stop him?" Danny leaned back, lazily completing his GED assignments. Jazz sighed.

"Guess not. Make sure he doesn't get in trouble."

"Do you even know how hard that is, Jazz?" Danny complained, dodging the whack Jazz sent at the back of his head. She smirked at him.

"Womp, womp, Danny. How does karma taste today?"

Danny flipped her off as he put the last punctuation on the paper. He heard a clatter and groaned.

“I’m gonna go watch Tim stalk Batman for the night. Want anything from the store?”

Jazz hummed. “Get me the specialty strawberry ice cream, from that one place?”

“The one that’s definitely a front for Falcone’s money laundering??”

“Yeah. They make good strawberry ice cream.”

“Sure.”

Danny went ghost and flew straight through the walls to catch Tim sneaking out by the scruff of his collar.

“No. Bad Tim.”

“Awww, come on Danny!”

#danny phantom #batman #tim drake #bruce wayne #jason todd #dc x dp #dick grayson #nightwing #bamf danny phantom #dcxdp #dpxdc #Tim is a fanboy above all fanboys #Jason is just straight up not having a good time #baby Jason would totally giggle with a kid and punch a grown man in the face right after #jazz: oh how the tables have tabled #jazz Fenton #Danny Fenton #squatter! danny fenton

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celluloidbroomcloset · 5 months

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Y'know, Ed tries so hard to get Izzy to play in "Discomfort in a Married State." He talks about the clouds and he shows off Stede's toys and trinkets. He's excited. He tries to play because he's bored and he says he's bored and he's sick of being bored.

And then Stede wakes up, is fucking thrilled to show off his closet and his things and isn't remotely frightened of Ed, and the moment Ed suggests playing dress up, he's down for it. They're two little boys who never got to play with anyone.

Of course Ed adores him. Ed wanted someone to play with.

#not a mistake that the one time we see stede really happy with his family is when he's playing pirates with his kids #and ed keeps saying what he wants from the very beginning and stede is the only one who listened #ofmd season one #ofmd #our flag means death #gif #edward teach #stede bonnet #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #blackbeard #rhys darby #taika waititi #totally normal about this show right now

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thimbell · 7 months

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woe, sad gram gram and april be upon ye

#rottmnt #i still draw people sorta #kids born from east asian families with complex generational trauma let’s goooo /j /j /j #ask me about my thoughts on the hamato lineage i promise i’m totally normal about it /lh /j #actually just finished from an old sketch since it’s been a hot second since i posted anything #fanart #doodles #originally i had a collar with the right crossed over the left but eh

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 9 months

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saw @chez-cinnamon's absolutely BANGER butterfly!Howdy design and couldn't resist! two fluffy flutterbyes <3 solidarity

#still unsure of Why this was the only pose that came to mind but! who am i to deny the brain what it wants #i also have no idea what it is about butterflies and mullets + extra fluff #it just feels Right.#oh also if you haven't checked out chez-cinnamon's Real World au uhhhh Go Do That!!!#its fun! its funky! its fresh! its got a lot of great art! its got a Comic!#emphasis on a Lot Of Great Art!#i will admit im emotionally invested in the plot. its reeled me in. im Fascinated by it #also(x2) i Cannot get over how swagtastic that butterfly howdy design is #like!!! look at it!!! the colors the patterns the WINGS agh the wings <3<3<3 #truly a unique and creative design that im totally not jealous of ahaha what-#kidding im Kidding. or am i... i am i am #scribble garnish #yassified howdy <3 #welcome home #alrighty its officially 2 am i needed to be asleep uhhhhh three hours ago #gonna queue this up and conk out. while lovingly thinking of chez-cinnamon's butterfly howdy my fucking GOD #cant get over how Gorgeous he is #the facial patterns.... the colors.... immaculate #top tier design i am Taking Notes #ok ok sleeping now. Sleeping. snz snork mimi and all that. etc

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little-pondhead · 2 months

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Oops.

While learning to control his powers under the guidance of Clockwork, Danny accidentally curses his own bloodline with the Curse of Sentient Food several centuries in the past. Originally, a witch was supposed to curse his family. Oops. Well, the Fentons were always adapting, and technically, either way, he'd end up battling dino nuggets at three am in his underwear, no matter who the curse came from. So he shrugged and continued on.

Unfortunately, this also means that out of nowhere, the timeline shifted, and some of his very distant relatives are now battling their food into submission at every meal because Danny is ultimately way more powerful than some mortal witch from the 1600s. His version of the curse reached literally everyone he could ever be related to for the last few centuries. Even if they were adopted into the family!

So, returning to the present time after training, Danny is a little startled to see some news clips of people's dinners coming to life and beginning revolutions. Wow, John Fentonightingale really got around, didn't he? He felt a little uncomfortable that now all these random people had to deal with their share of Fenton luck, but from some of the interviews, everyone seemed to be handling it pretty well!

Especially his so-distant-they're-on-another-tree cousins, the Kents, who contacted his family directly, asking how best to prepare a zombie turkey. Their son was coming for Thanksgiving with his new wife and some coworkers, and they just refused to make the guests fight for their lives on a holiday!

They invited the Fentons to join them, of course.

#dpxdc #pondhead blurbs #sometimes i wonder where the fuck this stuff comes from #which snail is responsible for this #but if it wasn't clear danny curses his bloodline and fucks it up because of course he does #so literally every single relative he's ever had is now suffering directly from fenton luck and sentient food fights #ma and pa kent are the only ones who reach out for advice #how did they figure out the fentons were the source? like they'd tell you those are family secrets you nosey bitch #so now the fentons are invited to spend the holidays with their distant cousins in Kansas #and meet their adopted son clark! who was just married! :D #side note the timeline changed right as the cake was cut at clark's reception so that was interesting #they had to pay for so much dry cleaning #clark's coworkers (fellow jl members) are a little worried about the sentient food but so far it's not really a big issue?#they can definitely take time off for the holidays to relax!#and they totally won't get dragged on any interdimensional adventures with a dead teenage godling as their guide!#feel free to continue #idk how many kids bruce has when clark marries lois but feel free to just throw some in #like JL members and their kids #just toss them in and watch the kids go feral #fighting your food is enrichment <3

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stbot · 1 year

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Niamh Wilson as bitchy theater gay thespian Lydia ↳ Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies

#grease rise of the pink ladies #grease rotpl #rise of the pink ladies #rotpl #lydia rotpl #niamh wilson #known thespian 'i've studied your gait' lydia #i think i need a gif tag #i love her. i do not understand why i love her as much as i do but I Do.#lydia spitting on her classmates: Peasants.#me with hearts in my eyes and my head in my hands: total plebs ur so right queen #she's such a pretentious theater kid which is objectively the worst kind of theater kid #but i love her!!!#can't wait for her to go to new york to pursue a career on broadway only to end up doing beat poetry in the village instead #lydia with her gay lil berets and gay lil scarfs >>>#floyd's little laugh when she calls the rest of them peasants <3

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cheeseceli · 4 months

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Y'know one thing Han would love? Dinner with you. You'd guys would start dinner normally, just talking about your day. Then he'd bring up the most random topic ever and you'd playfully argue with him. The conversation escalates to something so absurd that you are both laughing until tears fall down and the food is already cold. That's just a silly tradition of you, but Han would love these domestic moments with you

#I'm so totally right about this #stray kids #skz fluff #skz #stray kids fluff #stray kids soft hours #stray kids soft thoughts #skz x reader #skz x you #stray kids x reader #celi soft thoughts #han skz #han fluff #han jisung #han x reader #han soft thoughts #han stray kids #han

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tartarusknight · 11 months

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Eddie Munson was pissed off. He was annoyed by the little sheep he brought into his group. It was just that after spring break... well, they didn't see him as an authority figure anymore. Which, fine, whatever. But they never listened to him, and suddenly, he was getting shit from them. Not mean shit or anything. It just wasn't... it wasn't what he was used to. They gave him shit and became basically family.

However, he didn't sign up for kids to just pop up all the time without warning and give him shit about what he does in his spare time. He used to be cool and mysterious. Now he gets shit that his van is a mess, and he likes to sleep in after staying up late painting mini figures. THEY'RE NERDS!!!! Yet he's the uncool older guy.

Sure, they don't make fun of him repeating school or his appearance. Nothing that hurts, but it's annoying. However, it's less annoying after he realizes that they started doing the same to Steve after they got to know him. And well, he knows they think Steve is cool. They just don't say it to his face. So he holds onto that. They probably won't ever say he's cool to his face anymore but he's not, not to them.

It's like he went from the cool older teen to older brother figure in one week. One near death experience. And well... he understands in some way. Doesn't mean he likes that they don't respect him anymore. He knows that it gets on Steve's nerves too. The kids would be over for movie night of just decided to have a sleep over at Steve's and Steve would just have to go with it.

So, Eddie did what could be considered stupid. He fought back. Sure, he liked being around them and hanging out with them. But some boundaries needed to be returned. He'd like warnings or heads up. So he started small. He started to invite an old friend of his around. Veronica. She and him have been friends for years, but when she came out to her parents as trans, she moved away. Well, she ran away.

Her parents moved not long after, the "shame" of having a daughter now instead of the son they so desperately tried to hold onto. The son that never truly was alive until he wasn't a he anymore.

So, Veronica did stop in Hawkins every once in a while since her parents left. After all, her and Eddie, they had been close. She was his first friend in Hawkins, and he was the first person she came out to. It didn't help that they both had crushes on each other. But Eddie and Veronica grew past the old crushes, and sometimes, when they met up, they'd hook up, but only when they wanted a sweet release. Nothing romantic. All that was gone.

So, Eddie asked Veronica for a favor as she was passing through, stopping to visit everyone. He always invited her to stay at the trailer for the few days, and this time, he did have an alterior motive. And well... Veronica thought it was pathetic of him but also hilarious, so she was in. Because Eddie decided that if the kids were going to be assholes he was going to scar them for life. In the way that was ~sex~

The first night she's there, they spend catching up as usual. But Eddie's not really up for anything more than that. His big gay heart stolen by the goddamn babysitter. So when they head to bed, curled up on Eddie's full sized mattress, they just sleep.

However, that doesn't mean when his trailer door is swung open that next morning with Dustin, Mike, and Max all barging in, that that's all they see. No, the minute the kids open his door, Dustin shrieks, and Mike yells an incredibly loud and disgusted "ew."

Veronica pops her head up, and her eyes narrow. "Teddy, your kids are here," She groands before flopping back down. However, she pauses and looks back at them. "Wait, aren't you Harrington's kids?" She questioned, and Eddie tossed the blanket over her head.

He can feel his cheeks warming and grunts, "for your modesty." It makes Veronica laugh, and he knows that she's going to quickly figure out his big fat crush.

But before he can dwell on it the boys are running out and Max is just standing there with her arms crossed. He raises an eyebrow at her and she huffs. "I can't believe you. Honestly," she spits and actually sounds mad. Like fully pissed off.

"Max?" He questioned but she's fleeing too. The kids gone, like he had hoped but Max... that felt wrong. Like he actually did something wrong. Which... what even could it be. He's not doing anythign wrong.

However, then Veronica's teasing him and he snaps out of it. He's got her for two more days and he'll take them. After she's gone, he'll figure out what went wrong. So, they get dressed before they drive over to Gareth's too meet up with everyone. Maybe it's there in the back of his head the whole time. But he tries not to think too hard about it.

It's just that, the next day happens and when Eddie goes out for a smoke in the morning Max stomps up to him. Rightous fiery and looking ready to actually kill him. "She's still here." She snaps and Eddie raises an eyebrow.

He slowly blows out the smoke, "yeah, Red. She is. Who pissed in your cheerios?" He asked and she had the gull to roll her eyes at him. Like he was a moron for not understanding.

She shoved her finger into his chest. "I wasn't bothering you and him about okay. I was staying out of the way but- but Eddie what you're doing is wrong. He- he's already been cheated on. It shouldn't happen again." She snapped before marching off. Leaving Eddie shocked. He only snaps out of it when his finger burns from his cigarette.

He heads back inside, and Veronica's chilling on his couch and painting her nails. "We should get a good movie to watch. I need some of Teddy Munson's comentary." She says, and he gives her a grin that's not all happy. But she's not focused on him at the moment. Her eyes elsewhere.

Instead, he shakes the words from his shoulders and gets out a small laugh. "You haven't heard commentary until you've watched a movie with Robin Buckley." He assures her. And then the plan is set into action.

He messed around until she finished painting her nails, and then they were off to Family Video. Max's words got louder and louder as they got to the building. But it didn't make sense. He wasn't cheating on anyone. Even if Max thought otherwise.

"Eddie!" Steve grinned, and Robin poked her head around a shelf. They both had big smiles on their faces. Although they dimmed slightly at the sight of Veronica.

Eddie sauntered up to the desk where Steve had been previously flicking through a magazine. "Busy at work, Stevie?" He questioned and Steve rolled his eyes. Before his eyes once again strayed to Veronic.

Eddie straightened, "Oh, this is Veronica. She and I have been friends since ever." He waved his hand, and Veronica moved over. She was slightly taller than him in her tall boots, and she grinned at Steve.

Steve nodded slowly, "I did - uh- nice to meet you. I'm Steve," he held out his hand, and Veronica took it slowly. She gave him a once over, probably seeing the matching scars over their throats.

She shrugged, "I know who you are." Is all she says before she looks at Eddie. Her face reads we have to talk about that, with a look to his throat. And well... she saw most of the other scars already. After all, he didn't care if she looked at him when he changed. She knocked on the counter, "Any who. I'm going to go find a movie, Teds. Oh, you guys should join us. Teddy said you had the best comentary, Robin." She grinned before slipping back into the shelves.

Eddie watched her for a moment before sighing and looking back at Steve. Steve who looked like someone just was told that their dog was hit by a car. "Whoa, Steve, what's wrong? Hey, are you alright?" He questions and Steve seems to shift and refocus instantly.

He nods, a fake smile covering the emotions swirling. Max's words ring in his head. "All good, man. Just sad I can't today. Busy," he says, and Eddie's sure it's a lie.

Eddie looks over at Veronica who's asking Robin for recommendations. Likely trying to give Eddie some one-on-one time with Steve. "You know, Max said the weirdest thing to me this morning. She and the other gremlins barged in and saw me and Veronica sleeping together- in the same bed. We were passed out in the same bed. Not actually- well we were just literally sleeping together. But not like, you know. Sleeping together. Fucking. Making love. Snoodiling. Whatever you want to call it."

And suddenly Eddie couldn't stop talking. "She came up to me and started telling me how unfair it was of me. That cheating was wrong and all that shit. But I couldn't figure it out. Because I haven't dated anyone in ages. Like- a really fucking long time. But she told me how he had already been cheated on and it wasn't fair of me. But once again I was confused. Until Veronica mentioned coming here. And right now. Right now you look like I just killed your dog in front of you. All by bringing my friend in with me."

Steve was blinking at him, looking shocked. And Eddie gave him a tight smile. "I've slept with Veronica before. On and off for a few years now. She was my first crush, and I know that it might be weird, but honestly, it's nice to have someone to just let out steam with every once in a while. But when she stopped by, I told her I couldn't. Sometimes, that happens. The last time she was in town, she was head over heals for some girl in her history lecture. This time, I was totally gone for this guy I've been hanging out with recently."

And now Eddie can't even look at him. "I thought it was impossible. Like obviously you couldn't like me back. Even when you told me your bisexual. That didn't mean shit. Just because you like guys doesn't mean you like me. But with Max and now just seeing your face. I couldn't- I mean I just had to say-"

Steve looks around the store before pulling him into a kiss. Eddie's stunned for a moment before he grabs Steve's face, and it's awkward over the counter, but he doesn't care. He's kissing Steve and it's perfect.

He hears whooping and breaks away to see Veronica leaning on the top of the shelves with Robin leaning back on the same one. Both of them with proud smiles on their faces.

And yeah, maybe this was for the kids and their annoying habit of just breaking into his trailer. But getting Steve was also good. And well... if the kids get annoyed, he can just really gross them out by making out with their babysitter in front of them. Yeah, that will work, too.

#okay this was just going to be Eddie flirting with Steve too piss off the kids but i totally left that prompt in the dust #i guess now its fake dating gone right?#i dont know what it is honestly #steddie #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #steddie fic #did i have veronica from heathers picture the whole time aka Winona Ryder? Maybe...#knightly talks

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chalkscrub · 8 months

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babygirl doodles from a little while ago

#my art #oc #mockley #anthro #my favourite of the bunch is the top right #just kidding it's the one directly in the middle. the one that looks dumb #everyone will be glad to know that there are two wood pigeons nesting in our garden at the moment #making for a total of 3 ugly as hell muppet babies that i get to look at. they always pretend not to see me as if that makes them invisible #you're fresh out of luck baby pigeons. i will be gazing upon you lovingly until you move out #one pigeon is nesting in the grapevine and scared the absolute shit out of me by bursting out when i tried to harvest my beautiful grapes #i looooove late summer/early autumn. fruit season baybeeee. freakin apples and plums and damsons and pears and grapes and greengages baybee #anyone here ever tried a greengage???? probably the best fruit in the world and no one cares about it. SICKENING.#i assume most of my followers r from america and maybe don't have greengages but you should aim to try one at least once in your life #preferably after plucking it from the tree with your own hand. and also stealing it from someone else's tree #just kidding i would never advocate scrumping haha....unless....?

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stevieharringtonwifeguy · 1 year

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fae!steve who, practically the moment he learns what he can do, sets up a trap curse for his parents. if they ever kick him out and disown him, then the second he exits their threshold he'll take all their luck with him. he'd feel bad about cursing his parents, but the point of a trap curse is that it doesn't activate unless the targets of the curse do something to meet its requirements. if his parents were just good people, good parents, then nothing bad will ever happen to them.

but they really can't seem to help themselves. steve guesses he saw this coming.

he tells eddie about it, when eddie comes to pick him and his one allowed box of clothes and shit from the harrington house. eddie'd offered to curse them, 'might as well make good on my whole evil satanist reputation', but steve told him he already had it covered. told him about the trap. he's never seen eddie look so proud and so sad at the same time.

and sure enough, all good luck leaves the harrington household when steve does. a random irs check reveals harrington sr's years of tax fraud, and his business goes bankrupt trying to pay the fines. someone leaks pictures of one of mrs harringtons senior aides on a drug filled bender in the city, ruining both her campaigns squeaky clean image and her chances at reelection in the fall. several of mr harringtons former secretaries sue for sexual harassment, while seemingly every other woman he's ever come in contact with simultaneously sues for child support.

and steve just watches. he's happy now, living with eddie in a small apartment with their cat and the various small woodland creatures eddie keeps trying to sneak in (so far steve's had to kick out three raccoons, a possum, a skunk, two bats, and a coyote. they've all been very understanding when he's explained the situation to them but eddie still acts like a kicked puppy every time he does it). eddie keeps a little shoebox under their bed with newspaper clippings of every terrible thing to befall the mighty harringtons, says it's in case steve ever wants the reminder that he got one over on them in the end. a reminder that steve's happy and they're not.

steve doesn't need it. he feels it, every time the curse does something to them, something clicking in his chest like one of those alarm clocks with the flaps that flip over from one minute to the next. he wonders if it'll ever feel like too much. if he'll ever think they've been punished enough. they've had a rough couple years, it's sort of only a matter of time before something happens that's unlucky enough to injure or kill them.

steve thinks if he was human, maybe he'd care. maybe he'd look at that shoebox with the guilt eddie seems to be half-expecting every time he brings it out. but he's not, so he doesn't. he set the trap, but his 'parents' are the ones who sprung it.

they really should have known better than to cross a changeling.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #fae!steve au #witch!eddie munson #stranger things #i'll be honest this is just a lil one bc i actually meant for it to go on the end of that one where he finds out his parents knew #and i just. totally forgot. this is why we do outlines kids #my fics #not even really a fic it's more like. several paragraphs that i forgot to add to a fic #someone was like ooh does eddie curse them?? on the other post and i thought like no?? steve does?? i wrote it right the-#oh my god i forgot to write that part #comedy gold #we love having a functional brain

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hideousvampire · 2 days

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more brother au stuff + just teddy and ghost teddy

more clear ghost teddy

you have yo listen to this song while looking at ghost teddy 90% of people explode when they dont

#the karate kid #the outsiders #cuba and his teddy bear #eight is enough #johnny lawrence #daniel larusso #jeremy andretti #teddy cuba #johnny cade #ali mills #rm tag bc shit ton of ralphs here #ralph macchio #lawrusso #i hate them all #TEDDY LIKES THE FLAMINGOS TRUST ME (i like the flamingos)#him singing i wanna be loved by you totally means he likes 50s music haha #totally #IM RIGHT ALL THE TIME!!!#Spotify

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cephalog0d · 8 months

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Yeah I'm not done yet.

The thing I keep coming back to is that as much as I'm down to nit-pick things like how characters are written and plot details (and boy are there a whole infestation of nits to pick), what it boils down to is that the basic premise here shouldn't even be happening.

I get they're doing a Thing with Bruce and the after effects of Failsafe and Zur and Insomnia so sure I guess it makes sense to have him acting totally unreasonably. I'm not saying it's a plotline I'm thrilled with, but whatever. This is about everyone else.

You have half a dozen people routinely patrolling in Gotham, who've been doing it for years, who know the city and how it works, who have at least two people who are particularly inclined towards collecting and parsing data for patterns for crime fighting purposes, and none of you noticed anything amiss until Selina called and was like "Hey did you notice my neat new plan I've been doing?"

To that point, in a room full of literal canonical geniuses not a single person has thought to ask any of a dozen very practical questions that occurred to me, a non-genius reader, roughly 10 seconds after reading what The Plan was. Things like, oh, I don't know

How is this going to be a sustainable long-term effort?

For example, what happens when Gotham's wealthiest realize what you're doing and dramatically beef up their security (with tech or with actual people), making it much harder and more dangerous?

Like iirc you, Selina, have definitely had some real dicey situations as a result of your profession, and you're a lot more experienced than these people.

(Hey speaking of which isn't there a whole secret society of Gotham's wealthiest and most powerful who have access to nearly unkillable assassins? Who keeps coming back even though they keep being taken down? You think any of these people might belong to that?)

What happens when the rich folks get pissed and sic the heavily militarized GCPD on you? Don't act like they won't, I'm sure someone's squirreled away stuff from that whole Fear State fiasco.

For that matter, what happens when the costumed villainry figure out who swiped all their henchpeople and decide to object to it, presumably violently?

How many people are we talking here anyway that you're training? How many ultra-wealthy people live in Gotham? How many easily stealable things do they have sitting around to take? (As opposed to, like, other non-liquid fake assets like stocks)

How are you fencing all this anyway? Isn't that a great way to get caught? Or is everyone just stealing cash? (Or did nobody think about the part between "got the valuable thing" and "have usable money from it"?)

How on god's green earth did you ever assume this was going to end in anything other than violence?

Like of course one of your guys got killed. It doesn't matter that you told them no violence, even if they fully buy into that it only takes one panicked reaction when someone's home who shouldn't be, on either side, and there you go.

Look I get what they're trying to do. It's supposed to be a big moral quandary about whether it's right to allow some crime if it decreases other crime, the struggle between Batman being unreasonably violent and unwilling to listen and this new plan of Selina's. First of all that's a weird debate to have when everyone having it is technically a criminal to some degree. And second of all, it doesn't matter, this isn't about the morality, this is about how this plan is fucking dumb and was destined to fall apart even if Batman was still asleep and the fact that any of you are buying it just means there's a gas leak in Gotham somewhere.

#maybe i'm totally wrong and there's some secret behind-the-scene plot happening and the plan as presented is just a front #which would not excuse the way all the kids are reacting but would at least get selina off the hook #maybe i'll eat my words later whe it turns out there was some grand plan that totally ties everything together #but right now i'm fucking annoyed at how LITERALLY EVERYONE is being handled in this and i needed to vent #for the record no i'm not at all morally opposed to the ultra-wealthy getting their shit stolen i think that part is fine #i just don't think you should base a sizeable chunk of the city's long-term economic survival on having that as an income #gotham war #comics talk

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