#the bar is in fucking hell

[britcision]

Okay this thought has been percolating for a while so let’s piss off people who can’t read

Beau and Fjord were the closest things to villains in Jester’s story

Because Laura very specifically did not create a villain

Lord Sharpe was an afterthought if they happened to be passing through town that Jester hid from for 30 seconds then locked on a second balcony, and he was the closest she ever had

Jester’s story was about growth and reconnecting, neither of which actually came from a beat down fight the way traditional dnd does

So what the fuck does that have to do with Beau and Fjord? Well, that comes back to how each of they interpreted Jester’s arc

Cuz both Marisha and Travis did a good bit of pushing to have Jester go down one of their storylines, even if for the players it was all pre-negotiated fun

Because who were the two potential villains of Jester’s arc, if Laura had wanted to go that way?

Artagan, her cleric patron

The Gentleman, her dad

I believe y’all may now see the two storylines of which I speak?

The Gentleman’s storyline pretty much slipped under the radar until the Nein went back to Zadash and didn’t bother to visit him

After that, Jester admitted she’d been lying about her Sendings to the party, he wasn’t welcoming her with open arms, and he told her he wasn’t her father

Beau, who has Personal Experience with shitty fathers who need to be thoroughly rejected and maybe a beat down, gave Jester some beautiful gentle cuddles and consolation and “well if he doesn’t want you (like my dad didn’t want me) he can go fuck himself he doesn’t deserve you”

But that was not the story Laura wanted to tell

So that’s not the story we got

And oh boy that made the next part where we went back to meet BEAU’S dad extra fucking spicy because she just got to see for the first time that some bad dads really do care

And then Thoreau was still Thoreau and gaslighting ensued but Beau remembered what she’d told Jester, even if Jester didn’t need it

Basically no pushing there cuz Matt didn’t much hesitate to make it clear that the Gentleman was not going to be Thoreau. He was a deadbeat, awkward, and negligent, but not for the same reasons

ARTAGAN THOUGH

Well

Fjord has Opinions and Personal Experience around accepting magical powers from entities you don’t know or trust

And Beau has Opinions and Personal Experience with shady people in positions of power using them against innocent young souls

And neither of them spent 30 seconds to consider Jester might know her childhood bestie better than they do because they were right that he wasn’t a god

So as soon as Matt began dropping archfey hints we got like 40 episodes of “the Traveler’s shady and isn’t a proper god” and “hey Jester we can just kill him for you”

Because they can’t just go kill Uk’otoa, they’re not levelled enough and he’s pretty inconvenient to get to all locked up

But Fjord burned his pact weapon and walked straight into the Wildmother’s arms, and oh boy a lot of people who don’t think about personality types wanted Jester to do just that on the ol’ bird app

(Even Laura agreed Jester’d be more likely to go to the Moonweaver in Talks, either because of the Travelercon thing or the trickery/Mollymauk aspect)

But Laura didn’t want to tell that story either, even if Travis did make off with her warlock class

So Artagan made it explicitly clear, in every interaction, that he knew Jester was incredible without him (that’s why he chose her at all), that he valued far more than just what she could do, that he never even told her he was a god, he just never corrected the assumption

Cuz he’s an archfey and he also has a minor personal history of starting cults (not to himself the first time but bad habits escalate)

Artagan was the one who talked Jester down from just tossing people into the volcano

He was the only one who never joked about her being a bad cleric, but the Nein ain’t ready for that

And he explicitly chose her safety over his own, which for the uninitiated is A Big Fucking Deal for an archfey

Like, the Moonweaver’s response was entirely proportional, because as Fearne has shown, fey aren’t great at the “some things belong to other people and that is okay”, including personal health and wellness

(Laura also mentioned in Talks that if Fjord hadn’t grabbed her while she was holding Artagan Jester wouldn’t have hesitated to go with him but Matt knew exactly what she wanted and they were Never going to go down the “evil Artie” track)

So since we know The Gentleman was never going to be Jester’s villain, and Artagan was never going to be Jester’s villain, what’s left?

Well, just about all you’ve got is the two people who repeatedly challenged her faith and tried to force her into conflict with her first and oldest friend

And maybe “antagonist” is a better word than villain, but I did say I wanted to piss off people who can’t read

Cuz unlike with the Gentleman, the Artagan question wasn’t dropped until the night after Travelercon, where Jester very gently told them to go fuck themselves of course Artagan was there to stay

And of course if Laura wasn’t down with it, none of the pushing woulda happened

But until that point literally all of Jester’s conflict was internal, and nobody really talked to her about it

And Beau and Fjord’s responses make perfect sense for the characters, just like it makes perfect sense that Jester wasn’t gonna willingly confide in people who kept pushing for murder

Jester needed to be pushed enough to break the happy facade and let some of her struggles and thoughts be external, because some people still somehow refuse to believe there’s any depth behind a bubbly smile and dick jokes

For Jester’s growth to be evident and external in the story, she needed something to fight against, and in this case?

It was her new friends hating her old friend

The friend who gave her the power to save their lives

Two of the people she was the closest to whose opinions meant the most

Her original two road companions vs her original friend

And boy did that make for some compelling conflict when Artagan blatantly refused to get involved even in his own defence

In a way Jester kinda did follow Beau’s story; I’ve made the link between Artagan and Dairon before as older, more powerful mentors with unknown intentions

Beau chose to trust Dairon and follow in their footsteps and let Dairon make her more powerful

Jester sort of wound up leading Artagan as much as he led her, which is a fun callback to Beau calling out Dairon’s anti-Krynn racism in Xhorhas

But yeah, tl;dr?

Beau and Fjord were the closest thing Jester got to an antagonist because Laura explicitly refused to make her own and Matt let her have the story she wanted

#critical role #out of context spoilers #cr spoilers #cr c2 #cr campaign 2 #the mighty nein #jester meta #jester lavorre #also fun that it was two of her love interests #but we never exactly got jester’s opinion on other love interests past the Avantika arc #just laura in talks constantly repeating ‘no she is not thinking about romance she has shit to do’ #the way caduceus assumed jester had all her shit together til he met artagan tho #the road from #‘yeah she seems happy enough she must be fine’ #‘she helps me and yasha with our deity problems #got a good level head on her’ #to ‘HOLY SHIT SHE HAS NEITHER LIMITATIONS NOR SELF PRESERVATION AND SHE COMES BY IT HONESTLY’ #for all matt and laura agree the jester-and-artie relationship wasn’t health #the bar is in fucking hell #and most of the mighty nein brought excavators

[vaguebloggingextreme]

After thinking about it for 5 whole minutes, she comes to the foregone conclusions that actually...maybe it is a bad idea to do this.

Does that stop her? No of course not. The ball is already rolling and she is helpless against any existing momentum already in her life. She is stuck in the current that extends from the movement of those around her, their actions rippling out and forcing her to ballast against them, having neither the energy nor the agency to originate movements herself.

#eh fuck it #silver lining: might actually get laid this year! #the bar is in fucking hell

[notemaker]

The ringmaster and the amphitheater. The chessboard and the player. Round and round they go.

#THE SILLIES. but also they have DEPTH. Which is INTERESTING #The circus man and the circus tent #theyre the circus duo #two ass CLOWNS is what they are #I find their dynamic very compelling. Its like #Lucifer is the devil from the BIBLE. yet Alastor gets offended by the unfairness of their power dynamic #MY MAN YOU WERE A RADIO HOST WHEN YOU WERE ALIVE #WHEN DID YOUR BAR GET TO THE FUCKING CEILING #Anyways. theyre fun. they have some fun things in common but theyd never admit to it. theyd be the friend to go bitch about someone #also im all for a qpr with these two #theyre so funny. imagine them as roomates #my art #art post #hazbin hotel #alastor #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer morningstar #I wonder if somewhere down in hell the actual lucifer is looking up at us judgementally #i wonder what would happen if I showed a priest from thousands years ago this content and go: yeah this is how the bible looks now #doodles #radioapple #appleradio #duckiedeer #hazbin alastor #hazbin lucifer #hazbin art #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin hotel fandom #hazbinhotel #hazbin hotel alastor

[axolotlclown]

Ok, none of you know what's going on. None of you understand why so many women and young streamers are stepping forward right now. None of you understand why this has to be public.

Multiple large streamers have used their fame, influence, and money to manipulate and abuse those they see as below them. So long as they continue to have fame, influence, and money, this cycle will not end.

This is bigger than just individual cases of sexual assault or other abuse. This is a break down of a much larger problem within the entertainment industry.

These women are telling stories about very powerful men in this space. They are sharing stories of abuse and manipulation. This is very scary for them—it could ruin their careers or lives.

Stop saying "they should have handled this privately." This isn't a private matter. So long as these men have power, they will hurt more women. They aren't sorry. They won't play fair.

By trying to stay silent and bury these accusations, you are ensuring these women never know peace. You are ensuring that more women get hurt.

One day your boss will assault you, and all the men in your life will blame you for waiting as long as you did to speak about it. They will find any reason to blame you. They don't want to get rid of your boss. They hope that one day, they can assault a woman just like you.

This is fucking serious. This is real life. This isn't just some fucking fandom drama that we can bury and move on from. These are real life issues that require real meaningful discussion.

Stop trying to discredit these women just because your streamer is in trouble. You are part of the fucking problem.

#and if youre still confused as to what the problem is #i have a million posts about it already #im so sick of hearing this dumbass take #if you dont have anything productive to add to the conversation #then shut the fuck up #my god #this shit is real #yall are going to get jobs and go to bars and realize how fucking real this shit is #thoughts of dante #fuck it #ill tag everyone #shubble #wilbur soot #caitibugzz #caiti #georgenotfound #gnf #dream #dreamwastaken #andi #punz #wisp #kit wisp #illumina #am i missing anyone? #i think thats it #oh #sapnap #hell be relevant here in a minute #anyway

[stil-lindigo]

Wait, if that wasn’t a call for a ceasefire what did that mean? Will it change anything?

The ICJ does not have the ability to enforce its rulings, provisional or not. They did not demand a ceasefire despite South Africa including it as a central part of their case, and instead outlined that Israel must halt their attacks on "Palestinians" (civilians) as well as ensure safety for humanitarian aid. However, since Israel has been operating under the lie that all civilian deaths are just a result of them trying to target Hamas and them being caught in the crossfire, this isn't likely to change much.

Also, Israel is led by a collection of petty monsters who will interpret this ICJ ruling, toothless as it is, an insult and will take it out on Gaza. Today might be the most violent day yet. Continue striking and keep Palestinians in your thoughts.

#the implication here is that Israel can only continue their attacks specifically against Hamas members #but like. the human shields excuse means they'll still murder as many civilians as they want to #i hate this world #i have to believe the lack of ceasefire ruling is an attempt to save face with the international community #who still pathetically squawk about israel's “right to defend itself!!!!” #but its still cowardly as fuck #icj still failed palestine today dont get it twisted #just not as much as they couldve #congratulations #the bar is in hell #palestine

[mintedwitcher]

In the wake of bucktommy going canon, I'm here to remind you all that multishipping exists, it is not a crime or a betrayal, and you are allowed and encouraged to engage in it!

Hope this helps!

#im seeing some folks taking it way too seriously #this is not bucktommy vs buddie #we can like both #we can ship both #hell we can ship all three together if we fucking feel like it #having an otp does not and should not bar you from enjoying other ships #please relax #911 spoilers #tv show: 911 #911 on abc #bucktommy #buddie

[luminousstardust]

sorry but laura and marisha acting their hearts out every week and giving us the queer performance of a lifetime…. with the love AND the drama AND angst AND occasional fluff…….. literally roleplaying themselves to TEARS because they care about these characters so much gets to me so bad. as a wlw who’s lived through every iteration of queerbait and horribly shitty representation it just feels so good getting to watch imodna get together mid-campaign and not just at the very end so we get to watch them GROW with each other and NOT BE PERFECT and have ISSUES that come with their whole end-of-the-world thing but trying their very best to work them out because they want nothing more than the other to be happy and safe…………. yeah i’m never going to be the same again.

#they’ve raised the bar for me forever i honestly have no idea what could ever top them #and knowing that marisha and laura care so much is just so special. they KNOW how much this means to people and to themselves too!!!! #watching imodna interact every week is such a fucking treat and i don’t know how i’m gonna deal when c3 is over #imodna #imogen temult #laudna #critical role #bells hells #critical role spoilers #bells hells spoilers #cr spoilers #laura bailey #marisha ray

[andi-o-geyser]

she’s my new favourite. horrors for all fucking time

#i love her so much #she's got a tiki bar!! a fucking tiki bar! #she terrifies me and i would die for her shes so fun #grandma morri #morri calloway #the morrigan #feywild #critical role #dnd #fearne calloway #bells hells #cr liveblog #cr spoilers #cr3 #cr3e45 #andis thought geyser

[doodleodds]

Me? Uploading a Halloween comic on November 18th, almost four whole-ass weeks late???? Yeah that’s uh. yup. yeah

Thanks for reading! :) <3

#persona 5 #p5 #akira kurusu #OUGH OH MY GOD ITS FINALLY. DONE. I AM LOSING MY MIND #if you've been following me for long enough: yes! this IS in fact the comic i mentioned that i was making last year. #Fun fact! This is also! The Third Draft of said comic!!! i have redrawn this thing THREE FUCKING TIMES #as a result you may notice that i uh. a) gave up on coloring this thing. no way in HELL am i coloring 30 pages. im not...strong enough #you will settle for simply having monochrome colored panels and you will LIKE IT!!!!! >:OOOOO #and b) gave up on backgrounds! yeah fuck that lmao. i am never drawing people in the monabus again and mementos can kiss my ass!!!!! #i just want to draw my silly little characters & not their environments #and you may also say: sophia. by halloween they are already in Sae's palace. why isn't goro with them and where's haru? #and to that i say shhhh suspend your disbelief. akechi is in mementos carving pumpkins to avoid trick or treaters. #and also haru isn't there because i cannot draw 6+ people in a cramped space yet!!! my art skills are Just Not There Quite Yet :( #so she's staying home and handing out fullsized candy bars to kids. that's where she is while this is all going down #'does akira know it's akechi down there?' :) that's up to you! but i WILL say that I was thinking about Akeshu when i wrote this so. :)))) #ANYWAY if you read this far in the tags im so sorry lmao. thanks for sticking around! Hope you had a happy halloween :) #hopefully i won't disappear for long this time. idk im just gonna start uploading other bullshit art in the interim between comics i guess #probably some fire emblem shit. we'll see. we'll see. anyway bye!! till next time!

[burningtheroots]

A common question and critique, both in feminist literature and in (online) feminist spaces, is ”Why aren’t the good men doing more for women? Why are they still so passive despite being the 'good' ones?”

Okay, so the answer is actually pretty simple.

At best, these self-proclaimed or so-called "good men" don’t care as long as it isn’t inconvenient for them personally.

At worst, they either secretly or openly enjoy women‘s oppression, humiliation, violation — both due to mere sadism and due to the fact that they actively benefit from it, personally as well as systemically.

That‘s why "good men" are nearly non-existent. Some might be allies when it comes to certain topics (though probably not for genuine women-oriented reasons, and yes, intention matters), however, they‘ll still be misogynistic and oppressive in other ways, or tolerate those who are.

And the concept of a "good men" who‘s "passive" is completely ridiculous. If you, as a member of the oppressor class who‘s advantaged by our systemic & worldwide oppression all the damn time, think that not doing anything makes you "good", you‘re merely a bystander, and hence a (silent) enabler. Not a "good man who‘s just being passive".

Silence is complicity.

They don’t deserve to be labelled as "good". Not harming us with their own hands is the barest minimum. And we deserve to raise our standards, and we also deserve that our sisters raise theirs.

Women for Women. That‘s it. That‘s the only way.

#radfem #radblr #women deserve better #women‘s rights #feminism #male violence #fuck the patriarchy #just some thoughts #everyone is stuck between 'not all men' and 'but where are all the good men when we need them?' #especially in libfem spaces but also in general #the thing is that the standards for a man to be considered 'good' are lower than bare minimum #the bar for men is in hell and below already and thus scratching the surface of being a decent person #makes everyone believe that they‘re some sort of hero #if a man doesn’t do anything meaningful and genuine for women‘s LIBERATION #he‘s not a good man #he‘s just a complicit misogynistic enabler #silence is complicity

[silvermoon424]

for real, we need to tear down Confederate monuments and replace them with Sailor Moon and Pokemon ones

#Pikachu and Usagi have done INFINITELY more for the American people than the Confederates did #I mean the bar is so low it's in hell but STILL #sailor moon #bishoujo senshi sailor moon #usagi tsukino #sailor moon meme #fuck the confederacy

[bi-leth-eisner]

AN EQUAL AMOUNT OF WOMEN AND MEN!

AN EQUAL AMOUNT OF WOMEN AND MEN!!

AN EQUAL AMOUNT OF WOMEN AND MEN!!!

#fire emblem engage #engage spoilers #fe engage #fe engage spoilers #this is LEAGUES above Three Houses #not too hard to reach that hhough bc the bar that Three Houses set was in hell #but this is legitimately heaven... #y'all. y'all i cannot express how fucking happy this made me #i genuinely almost fucking cried tears of joy

[thatsnotmygunflash]

Are there any Professor Snart fics out there? The thought came to me and now I'm lying on the floor trying to get my brain to reboot.

Think about it. The gossip surrounding the hot new English professor. The casual but professional outfits. The captivating lectures. The charming smiles. The corny jokes. The starry-eyed students. The never-ending string of faculty friends and students visiting when he's in his office. The abundance of award-winning books he's written (James Patterson who?). The Dean is ready to offer him tenure if Len agrees to add another class or two to his roster because they have so many students begging to be in his class. He goes to his students' poetry slams to encourage them and has a writing workshop for inspiring authors. He sponsored a scholarship in his name for LGBTQ+ students. He volunteers to help with the theater department. Not long after he's hired, Professor Leonard Snart seems to be the only thing anyone wants to talk about at Central City University.

#theres so many ways to fit barry into this #a stressed senior who can't stand hearing Iris go on and on about her new hot teacher #a fellow professor who cant string two sentences together in front of his favorite author #an inspiring CSI hell-bent on proving the picture-perfect professor isn't who he seems to be #the Ezra/Aria meetfuck in the bar bathroom the day before he realized he just had sex with his new professor #Barry's work friends have adopted Len into their friend group and think they should date #professors rivalry aka how many times can we pretend we actually hate each other before we fuck on your desk #i could go on #but I'll run out of tags #leonard snart #coldflash #barry allen #the flash #captain cold #professor snart

[mishapen-dear]

ive GOTTA appreciate how legitimately forever kidnapped dapper tho. lured dapper to Secondary Location on the basis of being their uncle (and someone who their dad cares about a lot). was acting Weird, but otherwise trying to be nice. lying to dapper about wanting to make amends with bad and asking for advice. luring dapper into secondary location pt2 (the hallway) under the guise of going somewhere else with him, then asking them a question and shooting them down while they were distracted with the sign. the only real hiccup was that dapper didn't fall into the pit when @v@ pressed the button, but i dont care because then there were the conveyor belts that FORCED DAPPER THROUGH AN ITEM SCANNER. and. man!!! that was awesome that was a Legitimate Kidnapping. im sure dapper as the beast they are have ways of crawling through the fucking walls or somehting but. yknow im delighted that dapper's 7th kidnapping gives them Legitimate Reason to have been taken and stay kidnapped. thank you ccforever what a king

#qsmp #qsmp forever #qsmp dapper #it's improv right sometimes things are gonna be scuffed as hell and youve gotta handwave shit and focus on the Desired Effect instead of ho #it was achieved #but with the precedent of previous dapper kidnappings being plot-forced and handwave-y ive GOTTA appreciate ccforever going out of his way #to kidnap dapper LEGIT and on screen and make it believable that they are in Trouble #seven kidnapping and the bar may be low but by golly was it delightful to watch it be surpassed #AND THE SECOND DAPPER DOWNING JUST TO GET TUBBO TO STOP FUCKING AROUND WITH BAD'S CELL #that was awesome

[eclecticopposition]

give meee... headcanons about the Sangfielle friends in the most boring AU you can imagine like. idk. office Sangfielle. grocery store Sangfielle. they all work at a movie theater. whatever sounds mundane as hell and you have Thoughts about :3

okay tumblr ate my fucking answer the first time. let's try this again.

the thing about these guys is that no matter how mundane you make it, they can make anything into a situation. that's just the guys they are. so we put them in a Walmart.

Marn is an employee with a great customer service voice. She's keeping it together in the face of some truly wild statements and requests. One man keeps asking for frootie hooties, a brand of cereal that he insists is real and everyone is just refusing to sell to him, and she's spent twenty minutes trying to tell him that they just don't have it in stock

Lye and Es are having an animated conversation in the clothing area, where she is examining various colorful dresses and he is distractedly picking things off of nearby shelves and putting them back down. The conversation started at how they got kicked out of dayward yve's novelty store and is now about whether stealing should be more or less of a crime than manslaughter, because it's not as bad as killing but it is on purpose. People are trying not to pay attention to them. Eventually they are asked to leave, at which point it is revealed that lye has about two hundred dollars worth of items in his pockets and es has some candles she liked and a new pair of shoes in hers. They are both barred from Walmart.

Duvall hates it here. It's loud, he hates the lights, the aisles make no sense, he can't find anything he's looking for, and people keep coming up to him to ask him where things are. He doesn't even work here. Why do people assume he works here? He's not even wearing any Walmart merchandise. Is that what it's called when you're an employee? Merchandise? Well, it's what it would be called if he wears it, which he never will, because he doesn't work here and never wants to. Have a nice day ma'am.

Pickman is slowly marching her way through the aisles one at a time, peering at her shopping list and holding a tiny shopping basket in one hand. She has to be very careful not to knock the shelves over sometimes. Just trying to get groceries. People are nervously avoiding her. Says "Hey, you" to some poor employee to ask where the milk and cigarettes are. Just grunts at everything else. When she's at the checkout, the guy there asks "Did you find everything you're looking for?", and she just says "No." and leaves

Chine comes out of the bathroom with a live rat in his hand. People scream. The manager finally comes up to him like "Sir, you can't have rats in here." They say "Oh, she's not mine. She was just having trouble opening the door." Gets a big meat on the bone at the deli and nothing else. When he asks how much it costs, they just say it's on the house and try to get him to leave as soon as possible. They go like "Oh, really? Are you sure? I have some money." and sound surprised but pleased, like they're being done a personal favor. The employees insist. He's like "Alright, thanks!" and then asks the rat if she wants anything

#the manager tells an employee to get the rat some cheese. chine says that cheese is actually bad for rats and some seeds would be better #the manager tells the employee to get the rat some seeds and for chine to get the fuck out of their establishment #chine is a little taken aback by the rudeness but leaves without further issue #runs into lye and es outside and is like “hey look they just gave me some free stuff” #Lyke is like “what???? I got kicked out because I wanted free stuff!” #chine says “I think I just got kicked out too. Maybe that's just what happens?" #lyke says “yeah but you got to keep the stuff!” #“Did you not get to keep your stuff?” #“I mean. Not *all* of it.” #“Huh.” #“They didn't let me keep the stuff I kept on purpose.” #es makes a reasonable sounding remark about how they'd be running a pretty terrible business if they handed everything out for free #everyone should get what they need but these people do have livelihoods to think about #is also putting on lipstick that she definitely just shoplifted #duvall comes out and swears he's never coming back here. is asked if he's also banned for life from the Walmart. #demands what the hell these people were doing in the Walmart to get banned for life #because he saw a man getting real heated about frootie hooties and that's definitely not a real cereal #so if that doesn't meet the bar he's not sure he wants to know what does #sangfielle #friends at the table #Shoop #asks

[yarpharp]

hey im back again barely a few days later and like.... okay so Astarion is Fucked Up™. But also, to be further Fucked Up (depending on whether you want this to be official canon or just leave it as old content Larian left out) Astarion was a fucking MAGISTRATE of Baldur's Gate pre-vampirism?

Depending on how you want to interpret this, that can mean a number of things. One: He was the equivalent of a sitting judge in Baldur's Gate courts. Astarion was an elf of 39 WITH THE POLITICAL AND JUDICIAL HEFT OF THE CITY AT HIS NIMBLE FINGERTIPS. Two: He was the equivalent of a prosecutor in Baldur's Gate courts. That means he was 39 and a goddamn lawyer. Three: He was the equivalent of a specialized judge, a "judge of inquiry." Four: He was a state/city-appointed official that handled population information, public registers, and acted as a public notary.

Either way, it's hard to listen to this possible-backstory of his life pre-turning and not go "Cazador..... You are a disgusting piece of shit. Absolutely vile. But also..... you turned a perfectly smart and possibly very able-bodied city official with political power into a goddamn enslaved prostitute? Other than the fact you are clearly a sick son of a bitch, you are also an fucking moron for letting that kind of talent rot."

I mean, Astarion as you meet him is not stupid. He's honestly worryingly smart and perceptive (generally, if the dice rolls are kind), and his ability to hoodwink people into thinking he's just some shallow vapid bloodsucker is quite the intricate little disguise. It's been his defense mechanism for over 200 years, but it might also hint at the fact he's generally quite good at running verbal circles around people. It deeply upsets me to think this elf had a very impressive career for an elf of 39 (not even out of immaturity by elven standards! Not even 100! He still had his elf baby name!) and was debased so fucking horribly. And sure, there's some other content attached to this possible-backstory. Hints that he was a "morally-questionable" magistrate, willing to take bribes or look the other way in some cases. But that doesn't mean he didn't have to learn ALL OF THE LAW required to have his city-appointed station, ALL OF THE EDUCATION. The man had to have been from a reasonably reputable background to even afford that kind of education. Higher class, certainly. The way he speaks is enough of an indication.

Idk i'm ranting. Lowkey more reasons to slaughter Cazador; fucker ruined the life of a goddamn Magistrate elf who was insanely young to have such a high position in city government. (if you vibe with that discarded canon. I personally think it fits him well and just lump it in anyway)

#astarion #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #goddamn he was a fucking LAWYER #this just bothers me so much #he's not just a sexy elf this man once passed the equivalent of the Bar exam #do you know what kind of hell pre-law is? #I'm angry on Astarion's behalf