#the fact that this is not the first time she gets upset by people misunderstanding her or by being demanding

[miraclewoozi]

DRIVE. - l.c

DRIVE -- or, the night you realise it's actually very hard to stay mad at the guy who shows up at your house, throwing stones at your window on a Thursday night, to try and fix something that was your mistake in the first place.

pairing : chan x fem reader. content : fwb > lovers. angst, smut (MINORS DO NOT HAVE MY CONSENT TO INTERACT), fluff. more or less in that order. they’re both dumb as hell. not explicitly put in any detail but this was written with a more 70s vibe in mind so feel free to bear that in mind when thinking of the car/tech/styles etc if u like. w/c : 7.8k warnings : lots of swearing. it’s all a big fuckin misunderstanding because i am a whore for that. weed & alcohol mentioned (neither party is drunk or high at the time of this taking place). mentions of past cheating (neither mc or chan are the cheater). some pov switching because i said so. let me know if i've forgotten anything. proofread exactly once so if there's a typo, no there isn't. SMUT TAGS UTC.  notes : dino. get the fuck off my ass. i’m so serious i am not strong enough to handle the very real feelings i have for you. go away.  notes 2.0 : i listened to halsey’s drive for some inspo for this & took that as the title, so feel free to give it a listen if you want!

SMUT TAGS : dom!chan. car fuckin', making out, hair pulling, grinding/dry humping, fingering, finger sucking, dick riding, marking/scratching, unprotected sex (make good choices), overstimulation, multiple orgasms. praise. chan calls reader ‘baby’ & ‘sweetheart’. he’s a BIG talker during sex (sorry).

You’re not stupid. You heard his car pull up outside your house almost an hour ago. 

Since then, at random intervals ranging anywhere between thirty seconds and five minutes, there have been clinks of a thrown stone at your bedroom window, a piece of the gravel that lines your driveway. Each time, it makes your jaw tense, makes your fingers tighten in the bedsheets you pulled all the way up to your chin in a foul mood at 8pm. It’s been the same now for almost two weeks — you’ve been getting home from work, showering the day away, eating your dinner and retiring to your room as early as you possibly can. Your roommate tried to find out what was wrong around day three but you very promptly shut her down — she’s since learned that the best she’s getting out of you currently is a dismissive wave of your hand or some kind of a grunt. She joked one evening that it was like she’d adopted a teenager; you scowled so violently that she went to her room. 

Hardly any of your other friends have seen anything of you, either, despite the fact that several have come knocking to check if you’re all right. 

You’re very much not all right, as it happens. This is perhaps the most upset you’ve ever felt, and that’s going quite some way. The angriest, too. It’s worse than when that middle aged woman threw her entire bucket of popcorn at your head when you gave her salty instead of sweet, and you were picking kernels out of your hair for the rest of your six hour shift. It’s worse than when your nasty supervisor ‘forgot’ you were in the bathroom and ended up locking you inside the cinema overnight, because you didn’t have your own set of keys to get out and the people whose numbers you remembered weren’t answering their phones. 

It’s somehow even worse than when a summer crush from a few years ago broke things off by telling you that he already had a girlfriend back home and that you were basically just a means to pass the time and get his dick wet. God, and you thought that was the lowest you could possibly be.

Here you are, though, so far beyond all those things it would be comical, if it didn’t hurt. Chan has really done a number on you, and you’re not sure how you ended up getting so emotionally involved in your situationship with him that this is what you’ve been reduced to. For days now, you’ve been swallowing back tears of frustration (both with yourself and with Chan), rolling around in your bed night on night, unable to get to sleep because all you can think about is him.

Him, and the way he sounded genuinely horrified when his friends asked about the ‘movie girl’, and he laughed, ‘God, no – we’re just friends. That’s never gonna happen’. It was impressive, how quickly your face fell, in no way aided by the squealing giggles that rang through the house as a very, very drunk girl came running out of the living room and shut herself in the toilet, drowning out a chunk of the conversation you were listening in on. Somehow, it hurt even more when he went on to say ‘besides, there’s… someone else’. 

And when you have managed to drift off after hours of staring at the walls and the ceiling, hearing those words on a loop on your fed up brain? Of course he’s been in your fucking dreams, too.

In your defence, all you were trying to do was use the mirror in the hallway outside the kitchen he and his friends were standing in, readjusting your top to cover the hickey that he had so kindly left on your collarbone just the night before. It wasn’t as though you sought him out to listen in; it was a coincidence. And okay, fine, maybe you should have walked away when the conversation turned to the topic of Chan’s love life. Maybe you should have not crept closer and held your breath to be able to hear them all better. Maybe, even, you should have stayed around long enough to ask what he meant by it then and there instead of hopping in a taxi and going home without saying goodbye to anyone. 

Hindsight really is a beautiful thing.

Never gonna happen. Well, Chan seemed quite happy to ignore the fact that it already had happened. Several times. At least four of those being in the very car currently on the street outside your home. The car he’s used on countless occasions to drive you up to lovers’ lookouts in the dead of night, letting one of his many mixtapes play through the tinny speakers, where he’d kiss you breathless and cradle your face between his palms, as his fingers would delicately explore beneath your clothes, as his broad shoulders would slot between your thighs, as his hips rol–

And maybe you aren’t stupid, but Chan seems determined to prove that he sure as hell is. He came to pick you up from work the day after the party like nothing had happened, and couldn’t figure out why you said you would rather walk home in the rain than get in with him and stormed away without any further explanation. Then, he showed up on your doorstep on the morning of your day off with your favourite coffee and a breakfast bagel, asking if you could talk. He still didn’t realise what he’d done to upset you, so you slammed the door in his face. Finally, just earlier today, he ran after you in the mall, persistent as you’ve ever known him to be, and laid a hand on your shoulder when you didn’t turn around to just the sound of his voice calling your name. 

You pushed him off so hard he almost fell over. 

“Why can’t you just leave me alone?!” You had barked, shrugging your shoulders to try and realign your jacket. “I don’t want to talk to you. What’s not clicking?”

His face resembled that of a scolded pet when he took a step back and frowned at you. “I just wanted to–”

“I don’t care what you want, Chan,” you spat. “Give it up. I’m done.”

You could see the desperation swimming in his eyes as he scrambled for what to say and your heart felt like it was being weighed down all the way into your stomach. You supposed that was the part of you that was causing all this ache in the first place, and further that it was to blame for your current state of misery. But you steeled yourself and stood your ground nonetheless. He wasn’t going to win you over with puppy eyes and a pout. Not this time.

In his silence, you only then noticed how hard your breaths were coming, each slow and long but still dangerously unsteady. You lowered your voice, top lip curling at him as you muttered, “You’re embarrassed of me enough to lie to your friends? Fine. I don’t give a–… but shit, next time, tell a girl that to her face instead of behind her fucking back.”

It’s been seven hours, and you keep replaying the last thing he said to you as you stormed away (how his voice got quieter when he realised you weren’t turning back; how he sounded so hoarse, so sorry). 

‘I’m sorry if I hurt you - I— I never meant to.’

If. If. If. Were you not making it completely fucking obvious that he had, most definitely, hurt you? Part of your brain is even now starting to go down the route that he’s doing this on purpose, that it’s some twisted sort of damage control, that he hopes maybe if he plays dumb for long enough, you’ll forget what you were mad about or maybe start to second guess what you heard. But if that’s what he thinks, he obviously doesn’t know you very well at all. That’s never going to happen. 

Hell, for someone you were being so careful to keep in the appropriate lane in your head, Chan really has you thinking yourself in circles. You’re sick to your back teeth of him, and his stupid voice and his stupid smile and his stupid –

Clink.

Stupid. Fucking. Stones.

A groan loud enough to definitely catch the attention of your roommate sounds from deep within your chest at this interruption to your spiral and you finally, finally concede. Whatever argument he’s so clearly longing to have at 11 o’clock on a Thursday night? Fine. He can have it. If it means he backs off for good, you’ll give him his one last ruck.

You pull the window open none too gently and lean enough through it that Chan comes into view. He isn’t even looking up, you realise, too busy sifting through the driveway trying to find his next little projectile, and you hiss his name to get his attention. It startles him so much that he drops the indiscernible bundle in his right hand. He blindly scrambles to pick it up, those big, earnest eyes gazing at you as if you’re floating in midair before him.

“What the hell are you doing?!” You ask him, trying not to raise your voice too loud but at the same time, needing to generate enough volume for him to hear. He holds the bundle in both hands, now, and they catch the light of the lamp by your front door. Flowers, you register, squinting to try and make them out, your brows furrowing so much that your forehead hurts. 

Black dahlias.

You choke back a laugh. Ah, the joys of fooling around with the son of a florist. Are they all so damn dramatic? (Or does he just know that they’re your favourites?)

Whichever it is, you tell yourself that’s not going to work. You won’t let it. Through gritted teeth, you say, “go away. I’m serious. I’ll call the cops on you.”

He shakes his head, begging as he steps just a little closer so his face is more visible in the amber light too. “Please–” he hurries, biting his bottom lip. “Please, don’t– just… tell me what I did. I want to make it right. Please.”

He never begs like this. In all the time you’ve known him, you swear Chan has said ‘please’ to you fewer times than you could count on your fingers. Which is by no means a bad thing — that’s just always been the very comfortable nature of your friendship, and later, the -with-benefits tag that you ended up sticking on the end. 

“Why are you doing this?” You ask, pinching the bridge of your nose and fighting not to shiver in the cold nighttime air. Note to self: don’t do a Romeo and Juliet in the middle of the fucking winter without layering up, first. “What does it even matter?”

“What do you mean, what does it matter?” He asks, looking down at the bunch of flowers in his hands, then back at you. “I-... you know I’d never hurt you. Not on purpose. Please, just… if I did something–”

“There’s someone else,” you echo, fed up with his pretending. He’s a fair actor, you’ll give him that – he might even have been able to convince you, if you hadn’t already heard the other half of this tale he’s doing his best to spin in his favour. 

His face screws up, thinking he’s misheard. It’s his turn not to understand now. If you’re telling him you’ve met someone else, he’s got questions, because you’d promised to be open and honest with each other if that ever happened, so that you could call things off and go back to being just friends without it becoming a big deal. That was always supposed to be a calm conversation, not… whatever this is. You talked about it, right at the start. But… those are the words you’re saying, aren’t they? And why would you be mad at him if you were the one whose circumstances had changed? 

“What?” he asks, finally. “What do you mean?”

“God, no – we’re just friends. That’s never gonna happen. Besides, there’s… someone else!” You raise your voice without really meaning to, before swallowing hard and glancing back inside your room. “You said that, Chan. Don’t piss me off by coming here and pretending like you didn’t.”

Chan starts to look like he’s trying to figure out an algebraic equation in his head while only having half the required information; his eyes fall down to the gravel, his lips move without any sound coming out of them, his features tighten until there are definite lines between his eyebrows. Then, it clicks. The lightbulb moment. He slaps one hand to his face and shakes his head furiously, and you just know he’s going to wake up with an ache in his neck tomorrow because of it.

“Oh fuck,” he curses. “No, no, no, no, no – that’s not–”

“What did I just say?” You spit down at him. “Don’t piss me off–”

“Listen!” He shouts, and you gesture with your hand for him to lower his voice, interrupting his flow of thought and rendering him silent for a moment. “Fuck, please. Come down here and talk to me. That’s not what you think it is.”

You’re in every mind to slam your window shut and leave him out there in the cold. It would work if you got out your headphones to drown out the sounds of him trying to get your attention, which you have absolutely no doubt in your mind that he would do. And maybe then he’d get the hint; maybe then he would understand that you’re not just some pushover who he can just pick up and play with when it suits him. 

But he’s still holding those fucking flowers like they’re a lifeline, still looking up at you without a single lick of anger on his face. Not stress at having been discovered, which you would have expected him to be swimming in right about now. He looks… kind of beside himself, as if nothing could possibly be worse than what you’re threatening to do.

All this, for you? It just doesn’t make sense. 

“Please,” he says again, quieter, weaker. For the first time, you pick up on the hint of a shiver in his voice, and you swallow. Whether you’re gulping back your pride, or your resolve, or the last remnants of your sensibility, you don’t know. 

Does he deserve for you to hear him out? You’re not sure.

But does he deserve to be stuck out in the cold in just his stupid leather jacket and a pair of jeans? 

With regret, you think, no. He doesn’t.

All you give him is a scowl before you disappear from view entirely, pulling the window closed and drawing your curtains again. Faster than you think you ever have before, you throw on a sweatshirt over your pyjamas, grab your keys, and hurry down the stairs as silently as you possibly can. 

He’s stood in exactly the same place when you edge outside and pull the door closed behind you. Up-close, you can see the tiredness on his face: this is a man who has exhausted himself in worry, you think, and yet he still smiles a little when he sees you in full. He still holds the flowers out for you to take. He still purses his lips and blows out a stuttered cloud of air. Nervous, and not in the way you think he ought to be. So when you walk straight past him and don’t take the dahlias out of his hands, instead standing by his car and waiting for him to unlock it for you, you start to feel overwhelmingly guilty. 

Chan is many, many… many things. But he really isn’t this good of a performer, no matter what you’ve been telling yourself all week. For God’s sake, why is it so much easier to be angry at him when he’s not standing right in front you?

You slip into his passenger side as he fumbles to set the flowers down on his backseat again, and he joins you up front just a few moments later. His hands are shaking when he sets the keys into the ignition. His whole body is. When you cast a real look over at him, the tips of his fingers are pale and his lips are lacking their usual rosy, pink hue. Your own teeth are chattering despite only having been truly exposed to the cold air for a matter of seconds; you dread to think how frozen he must be.

“Are we driving?” You ask to break the silence. Since he got into the car and fiddled with the heating settings to try and warm things up a little, he hasn’t said a word. It’s awkward. It’s horrible. You already miss the comfortable way you’ve been able to sit for hours together, barely talking, just watching the lights of the city and the cars travelling through it. 

You already miss him. Which is a strange thought, seeing as he’s only about ten inches away. 

“If– if you want,” he says, stuttering through the frost in his lungs. “We can go—...”

“Drive, Chan,” you say. It’s not just because you want him to stop falling over his words – which, to be fair, you do. Chan has always been very confident, carrying himself with the air of someone who knows exactly their worth. It’s one of the things you treasure about him. So this? Is fucking weird. But a big part of it is that you know his car will heat up faster if it’s in motion, and right now, you think maybe he’s at risk of losing a finger or two if he doesn’t get some circulation back.

He steps on the gas and the car pulls away from your home. It’s the first time you’ve ever been in his car without there being some sort of music playing, whether that’s historically just been the radio or a tape he put together with the help of one of his older friends. (The tapes that always had your first initial on them. The tapes that he never failed to ask your opinions on when he dropped you home – as if he’d compiled them with only you in mind.) The silence feels jarring and you can hear every rumble of the engine, every squeal of the brakes he definitely needs to get serviced. 

But the car does warm through, and you sigh out relief as the bones in your hands move a little easier, as your fingers curl and uncurl to less resistance from your taut muscles. Chan feels it, too; his body relaxes, his breaths stop coming out in fractions, his face gets some colour back. The timing feels a little less awful when you finally say, “go on, then.”

Chan glances over at you as he drives down an unlit street. Only for a second, like he’s checking you’re still there, before his eyes train back on the road. He’s going to one of your favourite spots. It isn’t a lookout – it’s somewhere completely shut off from the rest of town, hidden by the trees near the railway tracks, somewhere you’ve never had to worry about being seen or heard. Maybe he’s anticipating a screaming match. Maybe he’s expecting something else. Maybe, even, he just cares about how much you love it there. 

“I didn’t know you heard that conversation,” he starts, sheepishly. You want to roll your eyes, reach over and thump him, ask if that makes what he said okay, but you don’t. You stay looking out the front windscreen too. Waiting. “I… all right. I was out of my ass drunk.”

You click your tongue, pressing it afterwards against the inside of your cheek, but again, you stay quiet.

“I don’t think you heard what you thought you heard, though,” he goes on to say. “‘Cause– ‘cause it wasn’t…”

But you can only be quiet for so long in the face of this mess. Especially when he’s apparently working towards a doctorate in beating around the fucking bush. “I heard you tell your friends that it was never gonna happen with ‘movie girl’.”

Chan’s face brightens, and you can’t help but wonder what on Earth is wrong with this man. Why does he find that funny? Why is his chest moving like he’s trying not to laugh?

“And you… thought you were movie girl,” he says, nodding. “Okay. Okay – shit. I’m sorry.”

You look at him properly, now, as he indicates to the right and takes the turn that leads him down the lane to your spot. “What are you talking about?”

“I get it,” he says. “You work at the–... but you’re not movie girl. Not that movie girl.”

“Stop talking in riddles before I get out of this car, Chan. It’s too late for this shit.”

He holds a hand up as if to apologise and settles back against the head cushion, suddenly looking far more comfortable than he did thirty seconds ago. He clears his throat, running his tongue over his lips, before sucking in a breath and letting himself go on.

“You’re not movie girl,” he says again, successfully clarifying nothing. “There’s this chick I used to dance with — years back, before… God, when we were in school, like, forever ago. She moved away when we were sixteen.” As he talks, he reaches your destination and sets the car into park, before he unfastens his seatbelt and turns to face you. You do the same, shifting your weight to tuck one leg up beneath you, and with your undivided attention, he goes on. “I ran into her recently. She’s back in town now, I guess. It was like, two weeks—?”

“I’m gonna be all-over grey by the time you finish telling this story,” you interrupt, raising an eyebrow. “Can you please give me the short version?”

“Not if you want it to make sense,” Chan shrugs. Begrudgingly, you let him keep talking. “She said it would be cool to hang out, maybe catch a movie or do lunch or something — and look, I didn’t know she was asking me on a date, I thought she was just being nice, y’know? Trying to be friends, but… you weren’t working that day, it was when you had that… that stomach thing going on? And I brought you the soup my mom made, remember?”

You nod; of course you remember. At the time, you wondered why on Earth this grown man’s mother was making you food — you asked yourself whether he’d told her about you, or if she thought it was for someone else. In the end you decided he must have just been bringing you leftovers. But you’d been too worn out to start asking questions; instead, after you’d eaten, you let yourself fall asleep with your head in his lap as he patted your hair and hummed his favourite songs. You hadn’t let yourself think too deeply about it since. 

“Anyway. We were sat watching the movie and she, uh,” he glances down at his lap, tips of his ears burning pink. “She put her hand, sorta, on my thigh? And then I was like, shit, I didn’t read this right, like… at all. So I moved it off and she took the hint — and after it ended I said to her, you know, I was flattered, right? But I wasn’t interested. And then I went home and got that soup and—… yeah.”

He came straight to see you. To look after you. Hell, you didn’t even fool around that night; in retrospect, it was all uncharacteristically domestic. And slowly, the pieces you’ve spent days struggling to fit together start to fall into place. It makes sense. The only question that remains is do you believe him?

Well, tell a lie. 

There is one more. 

“You said there was someone else,” you add quietly. 

You’ll die before you admit it, but this is secretly the part that was hurting you the most. 

You can’t even look him in the eye, right now; your cheeks are burning with the embarrassment of even caring. As much as you want to tell yourself that the only reason you’re pissed is just because of the dishonesty, you can only stare at yourself in the mirror and point-blank lie so many times. Someone else. You hate it. 

Just the thought of him seeing somebody else, taking them out on dates, smiling at them, laughing with them, kissing them the way he kisses you, touching —

A shiver runs the length of you and you cross your arms, thrusting your sleeve-covered hands under your armpits. 

Chan takes a deep breath in and exhales it slowly, like he’s blowing smoke out of his lungs. “There is,” he admits, nodding slowly, avoiding your eyes, too. “There is someone else.”

“When were you going to tell me?” You ask. 

Chan doesn’t respond straight away. You don’t notice, but eventually his eyes do land back at you; it’s only when he clears his throat to get your attention that you look at him long enough to realise he’s quite deliberately staring. His lips are lifted on the right in a lopsided smile, his eyes soft as he reaches across the seats towards you. You stare blankly down at his hand until he wiggles his fingers, and you think briefly that this is the most fucked up ending to a situationship you’ve ever been through. 

You drop one of your hands down and let him hold it, though, staring at his face as his thumb brushes over your knuckles and you wait for him to finally say it out loud. For him to announce that he’s fallen for somebody and that he can’t see you anymore. To put the nail in the coffin. Don’t tell me their name, you think. I don’t want to know anything about them. Please, just don’t.

“For someone so frustratingly smart, you’re really fucking dumb,” Chan says, finally, swallowing around his words and squeezing your fingers. Whatever stoic expression you had forced onto your face at the start of this conversation dissolves into irritation and you snatch your hand away from him again, letting his own fall and collide with a thunk against the handbrake. 

“Oh, sorry that I didn’t realise you were sneaking around behind my back when that’s the one thing we promised we wouldn’t do,” you snap. “God. The only stupid thing I’ve done here is get involved with you in the f—”

“You’re the someone else.”

Oh. 

Oh.

“I’m—?”

“You.”

The admission hangs heavily between you, as does your nonsense, unfinished insult. Neither of you really know what to do with yourselves except sit perfectly still and try to somehow deal with your increasingly dry throats. When Chan moves, it’s only to turn down the heating dial when his cheeks burn a bit too hot; you appreciate it, in part due to the bead of sweat currently running down your back, but you don’t say so. 

“You could have started with that,” you say weakly, wrestling with all your strength to keep even some of your cards close to your chest. It’s not working though. Your attempt to conceal your elation is a bit like throwing a single leaf on top of a bison and calling it camouflage. 

Chan commits to laughing, finally, your sentiment breaking him too. Now, you do crack that smile, albeit mostly just at the sound that comes from him. It’s bright and airy, lighting his whole face up as he drops all the way back and leans against his car door, pushing his fingers through his hair. “I was trying to build to a moment! It’s not my fault you hit every branch of the anti-romantic tree on your way down.”

“I am not anti-romantic,” you scoff in protest. 

“Yes — you are.”

“Am not!”

“Are too.”

“No, you’re just an idiot.”

“Says she who didn’t realise her fuck-buddy had feelings for about six months, Jesus.”

“Chan—” You start, your voice laced with a playful warning. 

“Here I was thinking I was making it completely obvious,” he rambles on. 

“— oh my God, just shut up and kiss me.”

“Dropping hints left and r—” … “Huh?”

He stops short a fraction of a second after you finish, stumped and silent, frozen with everything but a little buffering symbol above his forehead. Kiss me, you said. Chan, […] just shut up and kiss me. All right, you’ve asked him to do that before, but not like this. Not as if you’ll wither away should you not get a taste of his lips this instant. It takes him some time to process it, but he does move in first, eventually. The way he always does, closing the distance between you like he’s been shot out of a cannon, one hand either side of your face, crashing feverishly against your mouth. 

Every now and again, he’ll be happy to let you take charge and set the pace: mostly just if he’s feeling lazy or especially generous. Tonight isn’t one of those times, however. He holds you and kisses you possessively, like you’re his, like this is how he finally gets to lay claim on you, licking between your gasp-parted lips after he moans straight into your mouth. He’s spearmint sweet, edged with that one cherry flavoured chapstick he stockpiles as he grins up against you, rolling his body fluidly with every separation for air, every changing angle. 

He pulls your sweatshirt up over your head and throws it down into the footwell on the passenger side, straight away hurrying to kiss you hungrily again, hands cupping your neck. His tongue is in your mouth once more, there’s no way you could possibly differentiate your breaths from his: you’re one, in every way you can be with your clothes still on, but it’s not enough. 

“Want you,” you whimper as he nips at your bottom lip and pleasure rushes through you from head to toe. 

“You’ve got me,” he groans with his eyes still closed. “I’m all yours.” 

“No,” you insist, whimpering when his cute little nose drags across your cheek until he’s pressing hot kisses to your jawline. “I— fuck—”  He suckles on the sweet spot below your ear and your spine tingles, head tilting to give him better access. “Chan, I want you.”

Chan settles back from you, his usually bright, sparkling eyes now darkened with desire. All he gives you is a singular glance sideways, but you know exactly what he’s suggesting. You nod, breathing deep, biting the inside of your cheek; he turns off the headlights and it’s all systems go. 

There’s a rush to scramble into the back of the car. Chan takes the keys out the ignition and climbs through the gap in the seats; you opt for the less hazardous approach of getting out of the vehicle entirely and re-entering it instead. Not that it bothers him — no sooner is the door closed behind you, Chan’s hands are on your hips and he pulls you on top of him, your leg knocking the dahlias off the leather and onto the floor in the process. You gasp and glance down but he averts your attention with two fingers under your chin, guiding you to look back at him. 

“What? You think this is the last time I’ll bring you flowers?” He asks, capturing your lips as he leans up to you; at the same time, his hands drop low and he starts to slide open the buttons down the front of your pyjama shirt. “Baby, m’gonna get you so many more.” 

You sigh at the affectionate name, at the change in its use; until now, Chan has only called you baby while he’s buried inside you, bruising you inside and out with sharp thrusts and rough-gripping fingers. But as much as you can feel him growing hard against the inside of your thigh while you try to get comfortable, one knee planted either side of his hips, you can’t help but feel as if this time, it means something different. 

(He’s had feelings for six months: it always meant what it does, now. You know that, deep down.)

Somewhere in amongst the never-ending sloppy kisses and constantly travelling hands, you manage to strip both his jacket and T-shirt off him and you’re pressed bare-chest-to-bare-chest with Chan, feeling every little hitch of his breath in his lungs, every thump of his heartbeat, every tiny increase in the temperature of his skin. Your desperate search for friction between your legs has you rolling your hips down against his hard-on, drawing grunts and making him squeeze at your tits when you rock against him the right way. His head eventually drops to your chest and he replaces one hand with his mouth, freeing his fingers to slide down the front of your pyjama bottoms. 

It’s honestly rarer for Chan to get straight to the point than it is for him to tease you a little first, so when he flattens his palm against you and brushes his fingertips over your already aching clit, you let out a squeak of surprise. He shivers, releasing your nipple from between his teeth for a moment; once he’s collected a little more arousal to ease the friction, he continues to rub at the bud, slowly building the pressure inside you.

“No panties?” He asks, struggle clear in the roughness of his voice. 

“I was in bed,” you gasp, eyes rolling back. It’s for the best that it happens out of pleasure, really, because you’re not sure you’d be able to stop yourself rolling them in exasperation at his remark otherwise. You shuffle a little, lifting yourself up on your knees more, breath hitching when he uses the newly granted space to dip his hand lower and press a finger against your hole. “Please, Chan — this can’t be comfy— just…”

“S’fine” he argues, shaking his head, despite the fact that the angle of his wrist is actually kind of painful, right now. The truth is that he can’t bring himself to care: not when he can smell your fabric softener on the shirt still hanging off your shoulders, the shampoo in your freshly washed hair, all so pretty mixed with the damp scent of your desire. Not when you clench around him as he slides his finger in and out of your cunt. Not when he could get you to soak all the way through these pretty satin pants. 

Your arms snake around his neck as he dips a second finger inside you to join the first. The way your thighs tighten around his hips could — should — be embarrassing, the fact his sturdy lap holds you open enough for your pussy to be toyed with even more so. You almost always do this too music, too — for what might be the first time ever, you can hear every single wet sound your body makes, every hitch of your own breath, every grunt he gives even though he’s not the one being pleasured. 

You don’t even realise how you’re rocking up and down against his hand until Chan licks from the base of your neck to your jaw, smirking over your pulse point and says, “gonna ride my cock this good too, baby?”

And if it was anyone else talking to you like this, you would be embarrassed. Mortified, at being so needy you’re here doing all the work for him. At the cry you give as he splits and scissors his fingers to stretch you out. But instead? You feel another rush of arousal drool out of you as you press your nails into his shoulders and nod, bouncing harder and watching how his bicep tenses up solid with the effort of keeping his arm steady for you to use. 

“Wanna,” you gasp. “Want it so bad, Chan—”

Despite your pleas for this to move further, when his hand pulls back out of the elastic of your waistband, you feel like you could throttle him. The urge ebbs away when his soaked fingers press to your lips and he quirks an eyebrow at you, though — you end up suckling them clean, licking up every trace of your own slick. You lock eyes with him as you do, slumping on your thighs so your drenched core sits right over his tweaking length, the seam of your pants giving just enough friction to your clit for it to feel good as you grind down on him again. 

“Get those off,” he instructs, trying to sound hard and dominant. Which would work, perhaps, if his voice didn’t crack in the middle of the sentence. “Now.”

Even though you’re overcome with a need to tease him, the desire you have to be split open on his length outweighs it, so you do as you’re told and hold it in for later. It’s not easy, but you manage to manipulate yourself in his lap to work the satin down your thighs and past your knees. He helps you tug them the rest of the way past your ankles and feet, shoves them onto the floor — Chan’s hands settle back on your hips and yours skim down his stomach at the same time, fingers grazing over the little hairs that trail from his bellybutton down into his jeans. 

“Can I?” You ask, playing already with his belt buckle. 

He hums assent and you slip it all the way open, tugging as he moves his hips underneath you so you can pull it free from the loops. Between you, you manage to get his jeans unfastened, to pull both them and his boxer shorts down over his ass and to his knees; finally, fucking finally, his cock sits pretty and leaking and free between your stomach and his. It’s getting cold in the car now the heating isn’t on, but you’re already burning up in anticipation for him to ruin you; the way his abs ripple as he takes his shaft into his hand and strokes himself a couple of times to prepare tells you he’s in the same boat. 

It’s like clockwork, from here. You shift into position as easily as you settle into bed after a long day. Chan rubs his tip through your folds, feels the warmth of you and hisses through his teeth with fluttering eyes. Just like always. This never changes. He can’t ever get enough of that first feeling of his cock against your pussy: it’s like the first hit of a blunt, like the first sip of a cold beer, the first full-body stretch early in the morning. He’s sure it’s what arriving at the gates of heaven must feel like. 

You sink down onto him slowly, fluttering around his tip and stilling to give you both a moment to get used to the feeling. He’s thick inside you. Thicker than his pretty, dainty fingers have ever been able to stretch you enough for. Even as wet as you are, you still need to suck a deep breath into your lungs before you can relax your hips further and let your heat swallow him all the way to his base. 

Chan’s head is tipped back in pleasure, he’s biting his lip at the sting of your nails pressing hard into the back of his neck. He loves it, though — loves how the pain shoots in waves down his spine, how it tingles in his brain, how he knows you need to anchor yourself this way or you’ll lose control. He kneads at your ass as you sit against his thighs, listening to you whimpering at how deep he is inside you.

“So fucking tight around me still,” Chan groans, focusing all his willpower into keeping his hips down on the leather beneath him. “Shit, baby — you feel so good…” His neck softens and his head drops forward again as you start to move, rising and falling over and over. He kisses your throat and down to your collarbones while you work up to a rhythm, sliding his palms up your back, hugging you close to him. 

He isn’t even the one putting in the hard work, but within minutes of this, his soft, fluffy hair clings to his forehead. A light sheen of sweat makes him radiant under the moonlight breaking through the trees. He’s breathing heavily, the top of his toned chest painted a soft pink — you don’t think he could possibly look prettier. Not until he cups your jaw with his hands and you look upwards: you land on his smiling face, those plush, swollen lips, his devilish but sweetly glittering eyes. The sight of him, looking at you like you’re some kind of Goddess, makes your pussy tighten and your tiring hips stutter. You slip your pyjama top all the way off your arms and curl your fingers into his hair, meeting him in an open-mouthed kiss, through which you’re both just beaming. 

You’ve never kissed him this much. When it all started out, you sort of had a rule against it, but now? Neither of you can stop. As he starts to fuck up into you, taking the reins and letting your burning thighs rest, he keeps your face steady with his hands and freely allows his lips to slide against yours. It’s not refined. It can’t be. Not with how hard and fast his movements quickly become, not with the onslaught of curses and moans and babbled praise coming from the both of you. One particularly sharp thrust makes you yelp out a squeak of his name and he just swallows it down, making a point to keep aiming for— and hitting— that same spot inside you. You’re a mess. 

He could do this all night. When your orgasm bubbles inside you and he starts pinching at one of your nipples, sending you over the edge, he’s nowhere near finished. Even though your cunt massages at his length, throbbing and pulsing through your climax; even though your voice is so high by now that only dogs can hear you; even though you nearly collapse on top of him with almost all your weight in his lap, and he has to work twice as hard to keep this going, he barely slows. He definitely doesn’t stop. 

“You can gimme one more, right sweetheart?” He asks, grunting into your neck. “Always feels so fucking good when you come.” You choke up an ‘mhm’, to which he responds by slipping a hand between your bodies and down to where you’re connected. His thumb presses against your clit again — not moving, just applying enough pressure to make you stutter when you say his name. 

Your thighs are still twitching when you try to lift yourself a little, try to meet his movements as he chases his orgasm too. The “problem” with Chan is that his stamina is otherworldly. You couldn’t keep up if you wanted to. 

“Relax,” he says, tensing his jaw, doing the opposite himself. “Fuck — lie down.”

It’s pretty cramped and hard to move, but you lift yourself off him and only slightly lament at the sudden emptiness between your legs. There isn’t time to get too upset, however: moments after you get comfortable on your back, Chan shoves his jeans the rest of the way down and stands with one knee planted on the seats, lifting one of your ankles up to rest it on his shoulder. He slips back inside you easily then, gripping around your calf to keep you both steady. From the word go, his pace is relentless. You scrabble around for something to hold onto but the entire car seems to melt away; you ball your hands into fists at your sides instead, your eyes squeezed tightly shut. 

“Mm-mm. Look at me,” Chan hums, tightening his grip on your leg. “Wanna see those pretty eyes.” 

You obey, opening your lids to look up at him while he pounds into you hard enough to make the car shake. Over, and over, and over, and over. Rougher. Faster. For how long? Who even knows. All you’re truly aware of is how good it feels. How the windows grow foggy with the  steam of your laboured breaths. How his sweat mingles with your own. 

When his fingers on the other hand get reacquainted with your clit, when he bites down on his bottom lip, when his thrusts start to get messier and more erratic and the veins in his arms start to bulge out, you know he’s getting close. He doesn’t need to tell you out loud. The smirk he wears speaks for itself. 

“Where d’you want it, baby?” He asks you, pressing a kiss to the inside of your ankle. 

“In— mmh, in-…side me—” you stammer, hips jolting as you near your second orgasm to match his first. “Please, Chan — want it all…”

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah—”

Well, he must’ve been holding himself back something spectacular, because a few thrusts later you watch all of his muscles contract as he tips over the edge, and you go hurtling with him. It’s all so much. All your nerve endings feel like they’re on fire and your vision starts to blur at the edges; it’s not long before you have to close your eyes to shut one of your overworked senses out, completely. Your muscles are sore. Your throat hurts. Even your lungs ache. 

God, he hasn’t gone that hard in so long, you don’t know what to do with yourself. You can barely speak — it’s going to take you a week to recover from this, minimum. 

He stills deep inside you, feeling his cock throb with the last pumps of his release. Your leg slips off his shoulder and your foot lands down with a thud onto the car’s (thankfully clean) floor; he bends forward to kiss you, still breathing heavily against your lips. You’ve come over completely boneless and reaching up to thread your fingers into his hair again feels like running a marathon at sprint pace. You’d fall asleep right here, right now, if you could, but with sweat cooling rapidly against your skin, you know that’s probably not up there as one of your finest ideas. 

“You really think getting involved with me was stupid?” Chan asks, nudging your nose with the tip of his own. He’s never been less serious than this in his entire life, which stops you feeling too bad when you lightly slap at his rock solid chest and try to push him off you.

“Yes,” you lie, attempting to reach to the ground for your pyjama shirt while he grips your chin and attacks you with tiny little pecks all over your face. “Stupidest thing I’ve ever done.”

(Chan chuckles to himself and thinks that he’s quite happy to be the stupidest thing you’ve ever done, really. He can stay that way, as long as you promise never to stop.)

thank you so much for reading. i hope you enjoyed it - likes, feedback, comments, reblogs are all so appreciated.<3

#dino smut #lee chan smut #dino x reader #seventeen smut #svt smut #svt x reader #kpop smut #j writes. #* #this description is ass we're gonna pretend it isnt. ok THANKS bye <3

[spiderlily-w1tch-blog]

𝚂𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝙼𝚒𝚜𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜

𝕋𝕤𝕦𝕜𝕚𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕞𝕒 𝕂𝕖𝕚 𝕩 ℕ𝕚𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕠𝕪𝕒!ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣

— — —

Reader is Nishinoya Yuu’s sister who looks different enough from him that no one would guess they were siblings. Tsukishima has been pining for Y/n for months now, not ever knowing she was Noya’s sister. When she shows up to the gym one day wearing Noya’s sweater and calling him Yuu, people think that they’re together.

Misunderstandings and jealousy ensue.

𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫: I do not own Haikyuu or it’s characters, all credit goes to its creators and actors

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: Use of Y/n, Jealous Tsukki, Misunderstanding, One(1) Mention of Reader being taller than Noya, Slight mention of Injury and Blood(not much!), Slightly Awkward Tsukki and Reader, I think that’s it???

【Ｍａｓｔｅｒｌｉｓｔ】

— — —

Tsukishima successfully blocked Hinata’s practice spike and smirked at the upset carrot top. When the boy kept glaring, the taller got tired of the look and walked away.

“Hey! Stingyshima! Where are you going?!” The cry fell on deaf ears as Tsukishima just didn’t care, heading to the sidelines to grab his water bottle. Just as he began drinking the doors to the gym slid open. All heads turned at the sound and Tsukishima’s surprise at the visitor made him squeeze his hand, water spraying over his face.

The girl who’d caught his eye months prior stood in the doorway, smiling lightly at the sight of the team. She wore a uniform skirt with thigh-high socks under her flats, though what everyone seemed to notice was the jacket she was wearing. It was one of theirs, their volleyball jacket. More specifically it was Nishinoya’s jacket she had around her, the fabric slightly loose on her form.

“Yuu!” Her angelic voice rang through the gym, her eyes lighting up when she saw him. She ran over to the boy and threw her arms around him. Tsukki’s heart panged and hurt at the motion, the girl who’d caught his fancy already had someone.. and it was his tiny senpai.

“Y/n?! What are you doing here? I thought you weren’t gonna come until after school practice!” Noya cried though anyone could see he was happy to see her. That fact alone made Tsukki want to both wretch and punch Nishinoya in that moment.

“Well, I thought I’d surprise you! I also made you a bento since you forgot to make one for yourself!” She lightly smirked and playfully flicked his forehead.

“Uhm.. Hi, I don’t mean to intrude on you two, but we’ve gotta get back to practice.” Daichi brought their attention back to the rest of the world.

“Ah! Sorry about that! You’re.. Daichi, right? Yuu has told me a lot about you! All of you in fact!” Y/n grinned at the team, the beaming smile only making Tsukki fall deeper, as much as that hurt now. “I’ll let you all get back to practice! See you later, Yuu! Oh! Hi, Ryuu!” She noticed the short boy’s best friend who eagerly waved back at her. The moment the doors slid shut all hell broke loose.

“Noya!! Who was that?!”

“She’s so gorgeous!!”

“Where have you been hiding that Goddess?!”

“Since when do you even know such a pretty girl?!”

“Since when do you have a girlfriend?!”

Unfortunately, the last demand got lost amongst all the others and never got answered.

“Her name is Y/n! She’s my-“ Noya got cut off by Ukai yelling from across the gym to get their asses back to practice.

That was the first time the team met her, it certainly wasn’t the last, though.

Y/n never interrupted practice again after that. She did make sure to show up to every game though, even practice games. She was occasionally allowed to come along during training camps as well because she’d subbed in for Kiyoko and Yachi a good few times or assisted Yachi when Kiyoko had to focus more on her duties as a Third Year. Outside of Volleyball business, however, she would still come around when she knew she wasn’t intruding on anything and if she did show up during practice, she ended up helping Kiyoko or Yachi, sometimes even helping the boys by refilling their water bottles and getting their towels.

Every single time, though, she would be clinging to Nishinoya like he was her lifeline. If he wasn’t immediately available, she’d cling to Tanaka’s side. The fact that Tanaka also got her attention only aided in annoying Tsukki more.

She’d often show up to the group wearing something of Noya’s(as they could tell by his surname written on it somewhere) or show up arm in arm with the guy himself, laughing like anything.

Finally, one day, he couldn’t stand it as she kissed his senpai’s cheek and ruffled his hair before she left, calling a sweet farewell to the rest of the team as well. She gave a particular, lingering smile at a certain tall blonde before her especially fond parting with the shortest boy. He was unfortunately too deep in his jealousy to notice, however.

Kei stood abruptly and walked away from the group, not saying a single word to anyone, the sour look on his face telling nearly all, though. He walked in the direction of the vending machines for cover as an escape so no one would bother him, particularly a certain human tangerine. Luckily, though they all wanted to mercilessly tease the blonde, they left him be, knowing that his mood would only deteriorate more if they didn’t which wouldn’t be very pleasant for anyone. (They did have to stop Hinata, the innocent, naïve bean, though)

A painful ‘thud’ sounded from the machine’s glass, Kei’s fist having collided with it in his rage. He wouldn’t admit it to another living soul, not even Tadashi, but he let a few tears slip out of his eyes, most of them landing on his glasses, his head aimed directly at the ground. He couldn’t stand the fact that such a loud and obnoxious shrimp could get the attention of the girl who had truly captured his heart and they just had to flaunt it all the time right in front of him, even if they didn’t know it.

Suddenly, he heard voices nearby and he quickly straightened himself out before hiding his, now bleeding, hand in his pocket. He settled his face into his usual smug-indifferent expression and coolly sauntered off to wander back towards the group. If he should happen to take a more scenic route and just happen to take a little longer getting back, well then that was up to the fates.

As he wandered back, he found the source of the voices and heard their conversation more clearly.

“-Yuu, I swear to god! Give me my phone back!” Y/n’s voice rang as she shouted at Noya.

“And what if I don’t? What’ll you do then, shorty?”

“Yuu… I-.. I’m literally taller than you.” She deadpanned, looking at him like an idiot. Kei snickered at that, almost ashamed to admit he was even the least bit pleased that there seemed to be Trouble in Paradise. Almost.

“Well- I mean- I guess, yea, but still, compared to.. y’know.. other people! You’re short!” He declared like he had already won the argument.

“Well, you’re not ‘Other People’ so you don’t get to call me short, Shrimpy.” She smirked and that paired with that retort only served to ensnare Kei even more, as much as he knew he would regret it.

“Now. Give me. Back. My phone. And before you ask what I’m gonna do about it, I’ll tell Mom and you and I both know neither of us wants that. So either you give me my damn phone now or you can suffer the wrath of Nishinoya Asuka. So, which is it?” She challenged, holding out her hand, palm up and waiting for her phone to be placed in it.

“You wouldn’t dare,” Noya narrowed his eyes at her, still clutching her soft golden-coloured phone more towards his back, “I know for a fact you haven’t told her about what exactly you spent all your allowance on and I’m sure mom would love to hear about that four-foot dino-” Noya was cut off before he could finish when Y/n faked charging him from the right and then swooping in on his left and grabbing her phone from his hand with a ‘Yoink!’

“You tell anyone about that, and you’re a deadman, you hear me? I don’t care that you’re my brother. You spill to anyone and I’ll be wanted for fratricide.” She threatened, narrowing her eyes at him with a steeled glare and pointing at him in a warning stance.

Hearing the whole conversation left Kei in a state of shock. She’s not dating him. He’s not dating her. They’re siblings. Most of the time when she showed up, supposedly wearing something of his, it was probably hers since that’s her name written on the clothes he and some of the others teased him about for being so girly. She always stuck by him because he’s her brother. No wonder she’d feel so comfortable around him. And Tanaka since he might as well be Noya’s very own brother. Of course, she’d call him his first name if they’re siblings, not many things are closer than that.

They’re siblings. They’re brother and sister. Not dating. That kiss on the cheek and ruffle of his hair was familial affection.

And what was that about a four-foot Dino?

When he saw the two part and Y/n start to head towards the direction he was in, he quickly backtracked enough that it would seem casual for him to walk by and seem like he couldn’t have overheard their conversation.

“O-oh! Tsukki- uh- Tsukishima! Fancy running into you here!” Y/n stumbled a bit on her words and a bit of a reddish tint appeared on her cheeks as she looked up at him.

“Ah, yea. I thought I heard a little bit of yelling earlier, are you okay?” He asked, wanting confirmation from her that everything was alright.

“Ah- uh, yea! Don’t worry! Just a little tiff between me and Yuu! I think I heard somewhere that you have an older brother, do you ever get into petty squabbles with him, too?” Y/n chuckled nervously. It seemed like she was so casual about the information that she and Noya were siblings that they were clearly not hiding it. It seems like they assumed everyone already knew.

To be fair, a couple of them share at least a class with her so you’d think they’d know her surname. Although to be fair, each of those classes she shared with the idiot duo so it makes sense it would go over their heads.

“Oh, uh, yea. A few too many, if you were to ask my mom.” He said lightly, a small breathy chuckle at the end. Man, why did he have to be so awkward around her? His train of thought was quickly cut off, though, when she giggled. Her eyes closed and she brought her hand up to cover her mouth with a loose fist but he could still see her smile and it was, still, the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen. Hinata’s name might mean sun but the girl right in front of him was brighter than any sun. The sight of her giggling at something he had said made him smile, one he didn’t even try to stop or hide. He would definitely try and deny the blush, though.

“I understand that,” she tried to say through her giggles as they tapered off, “Ryuu and Saeko-nee are always fighting. Honestly, it’s kinda rare to not see them squabbling.”

“Saeko-nee?” Kei noticed she was the only one she used an honorific for. For an older sister, no less.

“Oh! She insisted that I call her Nee-san and said that she’d adopt me as her new sibling in exchange for Ryuu.” She laughed, clearly very amused by the situation, and given her compliance, completely accepted it as well. He gave a sound of understanding and the air between the two fell into a comfortable silence, just looking at each other for a moment.

The only thing that permeated the silence was the sound of a tiny little wet ‘plap’. They both looked down toward the sound and there they saw a single droplet of blood on the ground. Soon enough though, it was joined by another.

Y/n’s eyes widened and she surged forward. Quickly, she scooped his hand in between her own to inspect the cuts that he had, quite honestly, forgotten about.

“Tsukki! Oh my Kami! Are you okay?! What happened?!” She cried, too caught up in the moment and her worry to correct herself or even realize when she called him ‘Tsukki’ rather than Tsukishima.

“Uh, I-..” He stuttered, flustered by how close she was and how tenderly she was holding his hand.

She didn’t waste any more time and immediately reached into her bag and pulled out a travel First Aid Kit. She set to work on disinfecting and bandaging his hand, halting for a moment and gently stroking her thumb over the back of his hand when he would hiss at the sting. Once she was finished, it seemed to be a force of habit when she placed a gentle kiss over the bandaged cuts.

“There.” She stated, then looked up and saw Kei looking at her, wide-eyed and blushing and she realized what she had done. “I-! I am so sorry!” She called and jumped away from him, her face about as red as that Guess Guy from Shiratorizawa, “I-it was a force of habit!”

Her flustered state was probably one of the cutest things Kei had ever seen and he couldn’t help the small, soft smile that appeared on his lips.

“Cute…” He muttered though it was far louder than intended. Loud enough, to be specific, for her to hear him between her rambling apologies.

“I-… huh?” She froze, eyes wide again, and stared at him.

“Uh-! I- uhm-“ It was his turn to get flustered as he tried to find any excuse to cover up what he said.

“Tsukki…” She started, cutting off his own ramblings. She moved forward again, this time more slowly and cautiously, until she stood in front of him, still a reasonable distance away before she spoke again, “I…” Her hands slowly moved in front of her and clasped together in front of her skirt before she leaned into a bow, “I like you.” She tilted her head up to glance at him, “Please.. Will you go out with me?” Her voice was surprisingly steady given how red her face was and how obviously her hands fidgeted and trembled.

Kei froze. He just got a confession. A girl… just confessed to him. No, not just a girl. The girl he’s completely, hopelessly, head over heels in love with. Just confessed to him and asked him out. System Shutdown. Tsukishima Kei.exe has stopped working. How speak? How say yes? How confess back? How nod?

“I-I.. Y-yes… I will.. I will return your feelings…” He somehow managed to speak enough to make sense. To say ‘Yes’.

#tsukishima kei x reader #tsukishima x reader #nishinoya x sister!reader #Nishinoya!Reader #tsukishima kei x fem reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x y/n #tw: bl00d #spiderlily spells

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

In Defense of Marinette

I like Marinette. While there are many valid criticisms of her writing, the same can be said for literally every other character and she's actually doing pretty well given that she's the main character. After all, in a show where consistent characterization is an ongoing issue, the one with the most screen time will probably be the one who's the biggest victim of the issue.

This is heavily exacerbated by the rule that supposedly governs Miraculous. Namely that, in each story, Marinette must make a mistake. Or, at least, so says the head writer:

I really do not care what this guy says on Twitter or anywhere else. I only care about what's in the show because, if you have to go outside the text to understand the text, then you have no idea how to tell a good story.

However, unlike many of the tweets that I've seen, this one isn't some BS bit of lore. It's a writing rule and it has substantial backing in the text. It's extremely rare to have an episode where Marinette comes out smelling like roses and that's a problem because Miraculous has over 100 episodes. In other words, to follow this rule, the writers have to come up with over 100 ways for Marinette to be wrong so of course she's going to come across poorly. Why would you do this to your main character?

It's extremely common for kids shows to have a "lesson of the day" element to them. Someone always needs to learn something, but I've never seen a show misunderstand the assignment so badly. Learning a lesson is not the same as doing something wrong.

It's been a while since I watched the 2010 version of My Little Pony, but it really leaned into that whole "lesson of the day" thing and it actually knew what it was doing, so I'm going to talk about it briefly to discuss things that Miraculous should have done.

The first thing to note is that MLP had an unambiguous main character - Twilight Sparkle - but Twilight was not the one who learned all of the lessons. She had a pet dragon and a crew of five friends who would, occasionally, be the ones to learn the lesson because there were lots of lessons that simply didn't fit Twilight's character. Instead of warping Twilight to make the idea work (cough cough Ikari Gozen cough), the writers just let someone else have the spotlight for a bit.

This is an excellent way to build out your cast and Miraculous had plenty of opportunities to do it. For example, Lila should not have been Marinette's issue. The fact that Lila hates Marinette could have certainly stuck around, but the one who takes her down and learns to investigate her sources? That should have been Alya. A liar is the perfect enemy for an investigative journalist, but a poor enemy for someone who shines as a battlefield commander and overthinks when she's given too much time.

Another way that MLP would teach lessons was to have someone other than Twilight or the main crew cause the issue that they then had to deal with. This leads to one of the best moments in children's television:

And, frankly? Marinette deserves a moment like this. That poor girl has been through hell and is never allowed to make the right call when it really matters. The show will even completely rewrite its lore to make her fail (see: Strike Back). That is such an awful thing to do to your lead! Shows about female empowerment should include women feeling powerful and, no, Lila and Chloe don't count!

Also, the show is literally about Gabriel taking advantage of people who are upset. You don't need to have Marinette make a mistake to shoehorn in a life lesson. Akumas are life lesson fodder and season 1 actually seemed to get this. I'm not sure why they switched gears to "Marinette is the star and, therefore, must always be wrong."

The final way that MLP taught lessons was to have Twilight do something wrong because having your main character do something wrong is a totally valid way to teach lessons. It just shouldn't be your only way because you know who is always wrong in children's media?

Villains.

They wrote Marinette like a villain.

And a large part of the fandom hates her for it because of course they do.

You're not supposed to like villains.

#ml writing salt #ml writing critical #marinette deserves better #Youtube #justice for my poor girl #she legitimately has a good base character and she's fun to write if you keep her consistent #The applejack thing crossed my dash a bit ago and I keep thinking about it and feeling sad for Marinette

[yumeka-sxf]

A chronological analysis on Twilight and Yor - Part 16

*This is part of an ongoing post series. If you missed the Introduction/Part 1, click here*

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Twilight must have realized that what happened with Fiona was still bothering Yor, since he decides to secretly follow her the next day. When he sees that not only is she still depressed, but the neighbors are starting to gossip about his integrity as her husband, he knows that he has to do something fast. But since understanding women's true feelings is not his forte, especially a woman as atypical as Yor, all he thinks this would lead to is her innocently telling Yuri her concerns about Fiona, and in turn, Yuri would want to arrest him for being an adulterer…he still has yet to consider the possibility that Yor cares enough about their (fake) marriage to actually feel jealous.

He decides that in order to clear up any misunderstandings, he needs to talk to Yor and explain to her that Fiona is simply his coworker. He invites her to the bar under the ruse of simply wanting to have a drink with his wife. At the same time, Yor doesn't understand why Loid suddenly invited her out, though she senses that he wants to tell her something…and right away, her imposter syndrome creates the worst possible scenario in her head: that Loid invited her out for a final farewell drink because he's going to make Fiona his new wife.

When he mentions Fiona's name (but doesn't get to finish his sentence because Yor freaks out), that's enough to make Yor see no other outcome besides what she had been dreading since Fiona first visited them at the house. She then tries to put things in perspective – she tells herself that their marriage had only ever been for self-interest, and if Loid really wants to be with Fiona now, she should accept that fact with dignity. But as she tries to tell him that she'll withdraw from the marriage if that's what he wants, the words just won't come out.

In the episode where Yor took cooking lessons, she was finally starting to realize that being part of the Forgers gives her happiness...probably the first happiness she'd ever desired for herself alone and not for someone else. But the realization that Loid's happiness may lie elsewhere, is extremely conflicting for her: on the one hand, she of course wants him to be happy. She even thinks to herself that it's not about her, it's about helping him find happiness because that's how she's always lived her life – thinking of other people's wellbeing before her own.

But now, for what could possibly be the first time, the desire for her own happiness is gnawing in the deep recesses of her mind, vying for attention too. And, even though she doesn't yet fully understand those feelings, they're what's preventing her from simply congratulating Loid on his new wife and moving on. In a last desperate effort to tell him what her "mind" but not her "heart" wants to tell him, she chugs down a ton of booze (much to his concern).

Ironically, she downed all that booze in the hopes that it would enable her to tell Loid that she accepts his decision to marry Fiona. But instead, it brought out her true feelings, enabling her to finally ask him the question that had been bothering her for days: what exactly is his relationship with Fiona?

Her uninhibited remarks continue as she insists that she's a bad wife and not pretty like Fiona. She even brings up the time when she and Loid first met at the tailors and he had said that she was pretty, which she now is thinking was a lie (which shows how trusting she was of him even way back then, and how quickly that trust can be shattered in a vulnerable moment). At the same time, Twilight finally starts putting two and two together, coming to the conclusion that Yor isn't upset simply because she feels inferior to Fiona, but because she's jealous of her…and to him, jealousy in a woman in such a situation could only mean one thing: romantic feelings.

At this point in the series, I believe that Yor has a slight crush on Loid (though she doesn't realize it) and Twilight has some kind of special fondness for her (though he doesn't realize it). So when confronted with the idea that Yor could be romantically in love with him, he does what he always does when feelings that he doesn't want to deal with start to well up inside – he reverts to complete "Twilight Mode." And with that, he brings out the honey trap method he's used with many other women in his career. He turns on the charm and goes through all the standard romantic cues – clutching her hands in his, staring deeply into her eyes, slightly shifting guilt to her by asking if she still trusts him, and maintaining a serious, earnest expression and steady voice.

Obviously he doesn't want to lose her, and he thinks that if he doesn't at least pretend to reciprocate her romantic feelings, that's exactly what will happen. He tells himself that a good spy would be remiss not to utilize her feelings to better his own situation. I'm sure, in his mind, the outcome would be obvious: she'd be taken in by his reciprocation of her love, and they'd continue their relationship without any further disturbance to his mission, just like it was with every other woman he honey trapped before. But unfortunately for Twilight, he still has yet to fully realize that Yor is not like other women, and all his by-the-book methods of wooing won't work on her. In fact, his actions have the opposite effect. Rather than calm her down, his sudden forwardness only makes her panic even more. After all, a romantic confession was not what she had in mind – all she wanted was the reassurance that Fiona is nothing more than a coworker to Loid and that he still wants Yor to be his wife. But Twilight, with his ever-calculating mind and insistence on compartmentalizing people's feelings, jumped several steps ahead, overly simplifying the situation as "jealously equals romantic love, and romantic love must be met with romantic love (even if it's fake)."

We know from Yuri's first visit that Yor is just not ready for any kind of intimately romantic contact, and because she already has some feelings for Loid, she gets even more flustered when he's involved. When she's that emotionally unstable, especially when she's drunk, the only way she can let out her pent up emotions is through (unintentional) violence. That's exactly what happened when she and Loid were about to kiss in front of Yuri, and it's what eventually happens during this disastrous date at the bar. Not only was Yor already stressed out from the anxiety about Fiona she had bottled up inside for days, but now she was also drunk and volatile. So when Loid suddenly pressures her with a completely unexpected romantic confession, that was her breaking point. But this time, Loid doesn’t have Yuri to take the hit for him and he gets to feel the full wrath of Yor's outburst head on (or chin on in this case…she really must have held back or he would have definitely lost some teeth!)

Of course, she didn't mean to hurt him and immediately apologizes. But Twilight continues the one-sided train of thought he had before – since his confession of love didn't work, the only thing that could mean is that he was wrong and she doesn't have romantic feelings for him after all. It makes sense for him to conclude this because now he no longer has to be burdened with the fact that he might actually have such feelings for her too – in his mind, her kick was a rejection, so no need to think about pursuing his relationship with her further, which is perfectly convenient for the spy side of him (but a cop out in all other respects). But as the full force of the blow he took begins to hit him and his consciousness becomes fuzzy, his "Twilight Mode" starts to break down. He's so used to having everyone figured out, but this time, his analysis of the situation failed. For what could possibly be the first time, he read someone completely wrong, which forces his already wavering mind to go into panicked overdrive. He begins rapid-firing second guesses about his previous assessment: If Yor really doesn't have romantic feelings for him, then why was she acting that way earlier? Was she trying to do a reverse honey trap on him? Is she actually a spy too? How could someone like him completely botch an emotional analysis that badly?

Finally, just as he's about to pass out, he has no choice but to conclude that being with Yor has thrown him off balance…probably the only truthful thought he's had the whole night.

Continue to Part 17 ->

<- Return to Part 15

#twiyor #spy x family #sxf #spy family #spyxfamily #loid forger #yor forger #loidyor #loid x yor #sxf analysis #sxf meta

[kanao-kyun]

in this world, it’s just us.

Characters: Nanami Kento x Wife! Reader

Tw: Nothing but tooth rotting fluff! Some suggestive themes.

Synopsis: There are only two people Nanami cares for in his life. His wife and their daughter.

A/n: this song has been stuck in my head for some time now <3

The smell of delicious food is in the air, along with faint sounds of cartoons playing in the living room where your three-year-old daughter sat and watched while painting a picture on the floor.

With one child preoccupied, Nanami has to deal with one more child trying to take his attention away from making dinner.

That child is none other than his wife.

“Darling, please look at me.” The softness of his voice never fails to make your heart race. His large warm hands caressing your cheeks as he gently turns your head to face him. Your cute pouty face meets his soft smile. “Don’t look at me like that; you know how she is.” A chuckle escapes his mouth.

“I don’t get why she has to take your attention away from me! I mean, who does she think she is?” Your dramatic episode only made the blonde man laugh. “She’s our daughter Honey, and she’s only three years old.” He tries to reason with his wife, only to be met by your puff-out cheeks.

Lately, your daughter Mina has taken your husband’s time and attention away from you. Yes, you love your daughter, but at least share the man! You saw him first, after all…

Nanami knows you are upset, but he can’t help that his daughter clings to him like a koala bear. She’s at that age where her dependence is solely on her father. You can say it’s his fault for spoiling her as a baby.

“I get that she’s at that stage where she clings on to us, but I miss you, Kento.” You whine, wrapping your arms around the sorcerer, pressing your body against him while he’s cooking dinner.

“Y/n-“ he’s interrupted by the sudden nip of his earlobe, “I really miss you~” you whisper, smirking at your husbands' reaction.

Nanami can never get over the fact that you and Mina have ways to make him crumble. Like, mother and daughter.

“I guess fucking you dumb last night didn’t cut it, huh?” He bluntly stated, earning a gasp from you, “Kento!” You hit his arm, hiding a blush creeping onto your cheeks into his back, “Mina is in the living room!” You scolded, earning a laugh from the sorcerer.

As if on cue, the little girl ran into the kitchen with a drawing in her hand. She holds it up to you, looking at you with excitement. “Mommy, look what I made for you!” Your little girl bounces up and down, smiling brightly. Yeah, she gets that smile from you.

Your eyes widen slightly but kneel to your daughter’s height. “You made this for mommy?” You ask, taking the artwork carefully. The picture consists of watercolor, which is hard to make out because of the smear, but you can tell they’re lilies.

Your favorite flower..

“Mhm! I made it for you! Do you like it?” The question made her eyes sparkle with anticipation, “sorry for taking daddy away from you..” Your heart swells in happiness, making your eyes water. How can your daughter be so loving and caring?! She must have taken after her father

“I love it, Sweetie~” You smile, picking your daughter up, earning a giggle from her and a smile from Nanami, “look at my two girls getting along now.” He gives you both kisses on your foreheads while he puts food into plates.

“What are you talking about?” You smile, placing Mina onto her highchair. “We do get along! It was merely a misunderstanding.” You laugh, ruffling your daughter's fluffy hair while the little girl laughs.

Looking at his two favorite girls, a soft smile settles on his lips, silently thanking the gods for such blessings in his life.

Cause in his world it’s just his wife and daughter.

© 2022 kanao-kyun

#Spotify #fluff #nanami kento #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen #nanami kento x wife reader #nanami kento x reader #Nanami fluff #Nanami kento fluff #family man #mini series #jujutsu Kaisen Nanami #anime #headcanon #harry styles as it was #this song is stuck in my head

[thestupidhelmet]

A3

AU T7S where Jackie Doesn't Exist on the Show

Season 1

Donna and Eric's transition from friendship to romance takes longer, giving Hyde more opportunities to interfere with the process. Eric grows more insecure that Donna might have romantic feelings for Hyde, not him, so he starts to back off. Donna takes this behavior as a sign that Eric wants to stay just friends.

Donna, however, makes clear to Hyde she only wants to be friends with him, and he finally gets the message when she dates David Milbank.

Hyde and Eric bond over their unrequited feelings for the same girl.

Kelso "dates" Pam Macy, who isn't at all monogamous. Still, Kelso loses his virginity to her at Prom. His Apollo Rocket of Love explodes on the launch pad, and Pam Macy tells everyone at school. Kelso can't get a date at Point Place high afterward. He's ridiculed by boys and girls alike, and he considers changing schools.

Fez is largely unaffected. He finds a different girl to fixate on, one who isn't in a relationship.

Season 2

David Milbank reveals his true interest in Donna is sex, not her thoughts or writing. She dumps him before they've gotten past first base.

Upset, Donna seeks comfort in Eric, who confesses that he's always liked Donna's thoughts. "In fact, I've always liked ... you."

Donna is shocked, happy, and pissed she didn't know this fact earlier. She asks Eric why he acted like he wasn't into her romantically. He says he thought she liked Hyde that way. "Hyde?" she says. "No, Hyde liked me. I liked you."

"You did?" Eric says. "I still do," Donna says, and they begin their romantic relationship.

Laurie, bored, has sex with Kelso in his van. But since he's not in a relationship, it's a one-time occurrence. Unfortunately, it adds fuel to Kelso's obsession with her. With his reputation at school in the toilet, he pursues Laurie to the point of stalking.

Laurie seeks help from Red, who not only threatens Kelso in the garage but also bans him from the house.

With all that's gone wrong in Kelso's life, he grows increasingly depressed. All his friends try to help, and the truth of Kelso's age comes out. He's eighteen.

Hyde suggests Kelso drop out of school, like most of Hyde's cousins did, and get a job. Donna says Kelso should get his G.E.D. at least. She, Eric, and Fez help him study for it and ultimately get his high school degree.

Living at the Formans' house has helped Hyde emotionally, but his nurturing instinct isn't being nurtured. He becomes more closed off and distant, despite giving support to Donna, Eric, and Fez when they need it.

Season 3

Donna and Eric have trouble navigating their misunderstandings without Jackie's advice and perspective. Hyde is helpful but not enough to make up for Jackie's absence. The resentments build up on both sides, and Donna and Eric break up under different circumstances than they do in "Promise Ring". Instead, they believe they're incompatible as a romantic couple.

Kelso enlists at the police academy after being pulled over for speeding. He believes becoming a cop because will negate his reputation for being a bad lover.

Fez's life is less stressful without chasing after someone (Jackie) who isn't interested in him romantically.

Hyde grows increasingly cynical after his dad (Bud) uses him to pay rent.

Season 4

Donna never dates Casey Kelso because Jackie isn't there to set them up. Donna and Eric date a string of people who they don't truly connect with.

Donna, though, grieving her mother's absence, leans on Hyde far more than she did on the show. Secretly, they start a sexual relationship. For Donna, it's a coping mechanism. For Hyde, it's much more. But Donna eventually connects to the emptiness she feels, and what follows is the grief she's been avoiding.

Hyde, without the insight of Jackie, resents Donna for using him and breaking his heart -- even though deep down he believed Donna hadn't suddenly fallen in love with him. He pushes past his own pain, however, and helps Donna and Eric reconcile.

Fez and Rhonda's relationship thrives without Casey's influence and Donna-influenced-by-Casey's confirmation of Casey's perspective.

Kelso sets fire to the Point Place Police Academy on Flare Day and is transferred to Kenosha.

Season 5

Eric and Donna work on their communication issues, among other difficulties.

Hyde moves out of the Formans' house once he turns eighteen, despite Red's reassurance and reasoning. After what went down with Donna, Hyde wants to run get away from the reminders of what he never really had. He leaves Point Place, and everyone is upset about it -- especially Kitty.

Fez and Rhonda consummate their relationship.

To honor Hyde, Eric, Donna, Kelso, and Fez spray paint his name on the water tower. But Eric, through Fez, learns Donna and Hyde were sleeping together last year. Fez says, "I'm happy you can put aside your anger at Hyde and do this for him." Eric says, "Anger? What anger?" Fez says, "Wow, you are even more secure than I thought! If Hyde had slept with my Rhonda, I would kill him."

This revelation tarts a fight between Eric and Donna. Fez and Kelso try to intervene, but Fez gets shoved off the water tower.

At the hospital, Fez's immigration status is discovered. Rhonda marries him so that he can stay in the U.S. and because she loves him.

Eric breaks up with Donna, feeling betrayed by both the fact she slept with Hyde and kept it a secret. He leaves Point Place after graduation to search for Hyde.

Season 6

Kelso and Brooke have sex at the Molly Hatchet concert, and Brooke becomes pregnant as a result.

Eric finds Hyde in Milwaukee. Hyde had gotten seriously hurt at his car mechanic job and needed a kidney transplant. Through this, his true paternity is discovered. W.B. is a match and gives Hyde a kidney.

Hyde's built a new life for himself with his newly discovered family. Eric confronts him about Donna, and Hyde explains the depression and terror and grief Donna was in after her mother left and she and Eric had broken up. "Think about it, man," Hyde says. "Under what other freakin' circumstances would Donna have sex with me? She was miserable."

With his new understanding and empathy, Eric forgives Hyde. Hyde both kept Donna from hurting herself with risk-taking behavior and helped her and Eric reconcile. Eric also lets go of any sense of betrayal he feels toward Hyde and Donna both.

Eric returns to Point Place and apologizes sincerely to Donna (and tells her he found Hyde, etc.) Donna apologizes, too. Not for sleeping with Hyde because better him than a stranger who could have hurt her, although she understands why her being with Eric's best friend hurt Eric. She's sorry for not being truthful with Eric and depriving him of the chance to make choices about their relationship based on the whole truth.

Eric and Donna reconcile, again, before going to college together.

Only Fez, Rhonda, and the Formans are left to help Kelso handle the fact he impregnated Brooke. Kelso, having learned of Hyde's whereabouts, drives to him in Milwaukee -- taking a leave of absence from the police academy.

Hyde sets Kelso to rights. W.B. also steps in, sharing how he wished he'd known he had a son, his grief at missing out on Hyde's upbringing, and sorrow for the trauma Hyde experienced at Bud and Edna's awful parenting.

This week with Hyde and his family convinced Kelso to be in his kid's life and prove to Brooke he's worth of it.

In the series finale, Betsy is born. Kelso holds her in the hospital room while Brooke looks on, tired but happy. Red and Kitty reunite with Hyde in Milwaukee. Fez and Rhonda decide to go to culinary school together so they can one day own a bakery. Eric proposes to Donna while they sit on the Vista Cruiser's hood.

Jukebox Ask Game

#that 70s show #that '70s show #jackie burkhart #eric x donna #michael kelso #steven hyde #fez #ask game #jukebox ask game #my meta #my essay #meta #essay #ficlet

[isagrimorie]

[initial reactions] Critical Role C3x65

(This took a while to do because the first one I wrote vanished when I hit 'undo' to undo one action and it erased everything).

SO. Many things happened!

Out of the gate, Laudna aired her frustration about how Team Wildemount seemed to have had a better time than their team. And everything FCG, Imogen, and Fearne said just made things worse.

Until Laudna let out the 'And your new best friend' thing with Imogen and Frida. Imogen looked so bewildered, her 'excuse me???'

Ashton remains the heart of the group, I love that Ashton missed Chetney and his shenanigans (even though Laudna looked like she was a second away from throttling him). And I'm glad they were able to talk to FCG to calm down a little. FCG was working on my final nerve when they internalized Laudna's frustrations and made it all about them. It feels like Ashton had an epiphany and realization after seeing Laudna's breakdown, it was a wake-up call. Also for them, Bells Hells is:

We also get to learn more about Ashton's backstory and maybe they didn't pursue the direct Hishari line but maybe they can pursue that question in Zephra.

I love the whole thing with the Duskmaven. I love the vision and the realization that Vax is still suffering in that Orb.

The vision the Matron of Ravens gave to Orym, Fearne, and Chetney was fantastic. Matt’s description was so evocative. And then the doors slamming except instead of doors its the white mask of the Matron. She’s in mourning.

I continue to adore the differing views about gods, I love that both Ashton and Laudna’s view is— they don’t need to worship the gods to save them and the world. And after everything Ashton went through, maybe it’s the gods turn to reach for him, and that for Laudna, just like with FRIDA, her faith belongs with the people she’s with.

Let’s talk about Fearne’s ‘I won’t lose anyone else’? Because she’s not as vocal about it. But she’s equally as traumatized losing people but also she might not be possessive of her sexual and romantic partners but friends? Fearne is possessive of. Orym is her best friend!

I also love that Chetney had to deal with the consequences of his actions. He forgot about it but Matt didn’t!

Fearne and FCG are scrying for Ludinus and Liliana and find… that they’re both on the Rudius moon!

Even Ira is on the moon! So. I feel like the end game for this is Bells Hells going to the moon, on a race against time to stop Ludinus for doing his final thing to free Predathos (who will then eat him). I don’t know why Lililana is still following Ludinus since it’s obvious his promises were bunk, but I suppose sunk cost fallacy is a thing.

Also as Aabria said: “Are we all dancing around the fact y’all need to go to the moon?” Because she was RIGHT! They were dancing around the fact they’re all going to have to go to the moon! Thus kickstarting Exandria’s Space Race!

And now to the MAIN THING.

I love actually, that this whole thing with them: the misunderstanding, the kiss all happened with Imogen’s ability to passively mind read shut off. I also love that it all comes in the heels of Laudna airing out her frustrations. Because this time Imogen has to really talk to Laudna, she can’t just get the mental vibe from her. They have to talk. IMO this is the best thing that’s ever happened to both of them, I think they both relied on the fact that Imogen can just ‘hear’ Laudna’s thoughts.

Laudna never minded that Imogen can hear Laudna’s thoughts. But I love that Imogen not hearing Laudna’s thoughts at first pass is actually good for them. Because now Imogen has to learn how to communicate with Laudna through words and sometimes she’s off the mark — the first part where almost everything Imogen said just upset Laudna, to Imogen’s tentative: “Can I kiss you? Because I’m not sure anymore.”

Also, ‘Can I kiss you?’ both did and didn��t come out of nowhere this is a direct continuation of Laudna and Imogen’s conversation the eve of the Solstice. It all started with:

IMOGEN: I don’t know, since you came back, I’ve been almost scared to say anything. [a beat] LAUDNA: Say what? And Imogen did confess to Laudna but Laudna didn’t get it! And then the next second, they were separated from each other.

I can imagine Imogen thinking the next time she gets to see Laudna again she’s not going to chicken out and then Laudna misinterpreting her friendship with FRIDA seems to have resolved Imogen further. Her bewildered: “Excuse me???” was everything.

And then there’s Laudna’s everything, her stress and her breakdown, and fear that her worst self is her only self when it’s the furthest from the truth. Imogen would follow Laudna into the dark because she also feels the calls of temptation. She used to hate her powers but she’s accepted her powers and learned to love it because without her powers she would never have met Laudna.

But also, Laudna being in her Regency Romance era (to coincide with Laura’s ‘Pride and Prejudice’ era) they are so compatible with that Regency Romance with a large serving of Gothic romance.

I’m so intrigued at how both Laudna and Imogen are keeping their change of status from best friends to dating to themselves but it also makes sense they want to figure this thing they have with each other away from other people’s input and feelings.

I also can’t wait for Laudna’s new outfit and Pate backpack home.

And now they're in Zephra, off to one of the most beautiful places in Exandria when everything's on the edge of tipping into something. I can't wait to watch the next episode!

Also, it took awhile but I finally got to finish this not so initial reactions. Thanks, tumblr for the delay!

#initial reactions #long post #cr 3x65 #laudna #imogen temult #bells hells #critical role #ship: southern gothic #critical role spoilers #ship: laudna x imogen #ship: imogen x laudna #critical role c3 spoilers #ashton greymoore #fearne calloway #orym of the air ashari #chetney pock o'pea

[vixymix101]

Why Bluey x Jean-Luc Works

So! Sense I've been in a Blueluc mood as of late, I'd like to make an extensive post on why I love this pairing, and why it works so well!

(Please note this is my personal opinion, and isn't meant to attack or shame other shippers who don't ship this pairing!)

Now! Let's begin!

First off, where did this pairing even begin?

Blueluc started after Jean-luc's first debut in the episode, Camping. His first and only major role in the show-- but this single episode was enough to spark one of the most popular ships in the Bluey fandom!

The first thing we learn about Jean-luc is that he speaks French and cannot understand English, but despite this language barrier, it doesn't deter these two from playing together and instantly hitting it off! They immediately start to connect without even understanding a word of what the other is saying.

It's just the fact that they connect and bond so fast and become such close buddies in such a short time span, if they get along that well in just a few days, who knows how much further their relationship could go and grow if they were able to spend more time with eachother.

A thing to take notice is we see the two build a little make-shift hut, and to me, feels like a metaphor of building a home together. Now it could be reachy but it's definitely something to take note of! They made something special together, something only for them.

But that isn't the only thing I'd like to point out--

Second case in point-- the touches--

These two are already so comfortable holding hands and making physical contact even after, what? A day or two? For most people it can take a few weeks, even months or years to be this comfortable with physical contact like this-- now yes, they are kids and kids usually don't really care but even so, it's still a big leap even for people their age--

Plus, it's just so adorable-- look at them!! Little bbys!! Holding hands!!

Another thing I'd love to point out is the tree and how it's a metaphor of their growing relationship.

While I could be reaching with the building-a-home metaphor, this one is undeniable meant to be a visual representation of their relationship with eachother, as it holds such a large role in the episode, but I'll go more into detail later after it's done growing!

For now, let's take a moment to point out why they get along so well, and how it'd work for any romantic relationship that may form for their future.

As we all know, Bluey is a bit bossy when she plays games with other kids-- that trait likely stems from the fact that she's a Heeler, a herding dog, which could explain why she feels the need to take charge.

And not to throw shade, but her personality type just doesn't mesh well with someone like Mackenzies-- they're both hard headed, stubborn and feel the need to take charge when they can. That headstrong attitude just wouldn't work well for a serious relationship.

But it does work for someone like Jean-luc, who was more than happy to follow along with her games, simply just wanting to play and have fun, not even being told what to do-- just saw that Bluey was collecting sticks and went to help her and play with her.

I'm not saying that he's a "follower" by any means, but I am saying is that he's willing to accommodate with her, a true gentleman I must say! Just a wittle sweetie!

(Plus again, they got so close so quickly and easily--)

And that's not to say Bluey doesn't do the same in return! Again, she can get pretty bossy when she plays, so I think it's worth pointing out how well she handled the minor miscommunications she has with Jean-luc is a pretty big thing for her-- instead of getting upset at Jean-luc or stop playing with them because they can't understand eachother, she instead shrugs it off, and comes up with a way where they can both understand eachother via the drawing on the rock!

She was willing to think of a different way to communicate and get over their misunderstanding so Jean-luc could get it. Most people don't do that, especially for someone they've only known for around a week--

Now, let's talk about THIS scene, now this? This just simply broke my heart on first watch, and even harder on rewatches--

It truly amazes me how they fit so much genuinely good chemistry between two characters in the span of a single episode that most shows can't even do in the span of 2 seasons--

The writers truly out did themselves, there's a good reason so many people cry at this scene and after--

Speaking of after! The time skip!

Now ik many debate if this scene is even canon but there isn't any indicator it isn't a flash forward, so I'd say it very much happened.

Now remember that tree I was talking about earlier? Here's where we pick up where that left off--

It shows that their relationship stayed strong even when they were apart, the tree fully grown and in bloom, symbolizing how their relationship only grew with time, even as they got older.

It's one of my favorite aspects about the episode, and my favorite piece of symbolism for these two.

I could go on and on about them and why their relationship just simply works, but I think just simply watching the episode will do all the talking for me-- that and the fact this is the most popular ship in the fandom lol--

But I think I've made all my points clear! If you'd like to discuss further, go for it!

Thank you for reading!

#bluey #bluey show #bluey heeler #bluey cartoon #jean luc bluey #bluey x jean luc #bluey x jeanluc #jean luc x bluey #jeanluc #jeanblu #blueluc #blueyluc #bluey x jean-luc #discussion post #analyzing #analyzing media #ship analysis #long post #media analysis #bluey camping #campshipping #ramblings #its mostly just me rambling lol #cartoon #bluey tv show #jeanblue

[alexanderlightweight]

I'm having trouble with my net and Tumblr said this couldn't be sent the first time so I'm sending it again, I apologize if you get a double-

Happy Wednesday prompt!

I sent you a prompt las week so I hope it's ok if I send another one but if not, it's all right, here it goes:

If mastery over shadows is a Trueblood ability, what would the Lightwood one be? And what if Alec got that one instead of his shadows? Or Izzy? What if Alec had a mix of both?

i got a double and that was absolutely fine! tumblr and the net can be very annoying menaces when they work together against people.

it's fine to send prompts every week! there's no restriction on it or anything. i really just answer them when i have time/the right mood for the prompt.

i hope you enjoy this au of star eater (sentient alec trueblood au) and the answer is cold fire. flames so cold they crack the wood into shards of ice sharper than glass or diamonds.

misunderstandings/unreliable narration. this is very much an au so basically when bby!alec breaks, his lightwood powers show up instead of the shadows

-

Robert Lightwood dies with an expression of terrified shock frozen on his face, before he falls and shatters into a thousand shimmering pieces.

Alec stares at the remains of his father and feels nothing but numb relief. The terror of his door being forced open, of not having anywhere to hide from his father's angry disappointment— not when Robert used his stele to unlock the door — and Alec now just feels numb.

Numb and cold and it’s with a sluggish curiosity that he lifts his right hand and stares at the silver flames on his fingers. They’re small and cold, almost bitter and Alec remembers the image of flame.

He wonders why he ever assumed the Lightwood’s fire would be warm in any way, even in color.

It's days later that Alec says goodbye to his mother and he feels as cold and as detached as the flames dancing in his core.

Alec could go with her. He could claim her as his parent and be taken in by her but Alec doubts that’s what she wants. She has a chance now, to actually be happy and Alec will be fine. Izzy needs a parent and Maryse loves her, that will never be a problem.

So, Alec steps back from his mother and he keeps his face cold, like he learned from watching her get ready for meetings or when she stepped away from Izzy to face him.

“The Lakecastle’s are going to come help you, okay?” Maryse tells him again and Alec tries to memorize her face, wondering if he’ll ever see it again. He doubts it, there really won’t be a reason for Maryse to want to see him after this and she’ll probably want to keep Izzy safe and protected and away from Alec.  After all, Alec can’t put Izzy first anymore and he can’t die to protect her like Maryse wants anymore.

It makes complete sense to Alec, but Maryse seems horrified by how practical he’s being. Like she didn’t expect Alec to be aware of the fact that he’s a child born of politics and bloodlines and that his existence is no longer Maryse’s problem. All of which, when he quietly explains it, seems to make Maryse grow more and more upset.

Which Alec supposes makes sense.

Nobody ever remembers how much Alec knows, how much he sees while he’s ignored and forgotten. The shadows have always hidden him, for all that they don’t let Alec melt into them, no matter how much he wishes he could. Sometimes, it feels like the shadows cling to him and Alec wonders if they want him to be a part of them as much as he does.

They aren’t though, so Alec can’t rely on them and while his mother’s reaction confuses him, it doesn’t confuse him enough to back down. Alec has leverage now and while he can’t completely protect himself — he’s not big enough yet and his powers too new — he can make it so that he’s safe and defended and unfortunately, that means mother has to leave.

The fire changed things between them. Not in all bad ways though and the shadows of Alec’s room twist and dance in the cold light of his flames as he practices, and Alec feels like that will be enough. His mother and sister will be gone, Trueblood’s once more and his father is dead. Alec is the last of his line with the powers he was bred for, and he wonders if this is what the Lightwood’s really hoped would come of their line.

“Yes, I know.” Alec agrees, because Hirune Lakecastle is an Elder shadowhunter who only retired to train her daughter, Mirai. Both volunteered for the position of guiding Alec and training with him, and he considers it an honor to be so well taken care of.

“If you need me—” Maryse starts to say and Alec scowls.

“I won’t.” He assures her, because he doesn’t need the worry of his mother pretending to care about him. Alec was the price of her marriage and probably a few other things and Alec — after reading through the betrothal papers — thinks he understands better why his mother hates him.

And she has to hate him, because why else would she and father have treated him like they did if they didn’t hate the duty Alec was born from.

It’s better this way, to let her forget about the heir she had to have and focus on the child she actually wanted.

#writing wednesdays #writing wednesday #lumine writes #shadowhunters #alec lightwood #my fics #my fanfics #my ficlets #shadowhunters au

[nesting-dreams]

i see the memes of entp and infp all the time online of infp cartoonishly hating entp and entp being cartoonishly creepy, but a healthy entp and infp relationship is so much more fun to watch in my view. Entp’s and infp’s always have a rough start of misunderstanding, but if they can be mature and look past that. It’s a nice dynamic. I want to use fictional works as examples for this cuz it’s just easier.

I shall give 3 different examples. There is more, but these are my favourites. Marriage: Clara and Doc from back to the future 3. He saves her from dying and they fall for each other, he comes across as the mad doctor in the old west and she is intrigued, and it turns out she was supposed to die, so instead at the end, he offers her to live in time limbo with him so she doesn’t ruin the timeline, but she doesn’t die either. Clara risks dying on a train to be with him by walking on the outside of it to stop him from time jumping without her, he thought it was the best for her to leave her at first, but changed his mind when he saw her do that. She gives off the impression of being this sweet little thing, but her crazy matches his crazy with that train shenanigans and them hanging out throughout the movie. Doc even realised this after that stunt that she’s not normal. He is very happy about it. (Doc’s closest friend is a very mature esfp, who is the only one who really takes him seriously when it’s needed out of most people).

Crushes, but stay friends: Laetitia and Lupin the 3rd. Lupin the third the first. They meet from her throwing a punch at him after he stole from her after she set the cops on him, so she could steal this book that the Nazi’s wanted, and also again when she assaults him with her shoe later on. He makes her genuinely angry at one point and he realises he pushed the wrong button, what she got mad about was he told a lie about someone she admired and she fact corrects him and gets annoyed with him for trying to make her feel stupid. He got upset with her cuz she poked him back as a retort, but she backs off too when she realised she upset him. She dreamily wishes to solve ancient mysteries for the romance and fantasy of it. He wants to solve it for profit and the romance of it. After the suspicion has died down, They start out arguing looking for some ancient technology, the arguments don’t actually last long. It is not mean spirited arguing. Lupin’s really sweet to her for the rest of the movie. It is not often in the series he shows a sweet side like this. He tried kissing her and both developed a crush on the other. Laetitia loves the arguments and she also playfully sasses to his naughty comments. They both smirk at each other a lot knowingly. Because she looks like a puppy, he denies that he falls for it and makes fun of others for falling for it but he takes one look at her when he at first does not want too and he basically does anything she asks. He helps her out by going behind her back and using trickery to help her and others. She is more authentic and genuine and up front about helping him and others. She Cries when failure happens and he cheers her up, by showing her that he will back her up when she fails, and they help each other reach a common goal. They bounce ideas of each other, she shows her knowledge on things and he does the same. Both have different knowledge that helps each other to their common goal. She is genuinely impressed outloud with his smarts while he does not say it out loud, he gets excited for her when she gets passionate. He actively encourages her to use her head more. Later in the movie, he had jumped out a plane without a parachute for her to save her. Normally he thinks things through, but he didn’t for that one. He does sometimes have bursts of stupidity inbetween the genius. She does not hide her worry for him whenever he gets hurt or she thinks something bad may happen to him which I think does make an impact of him being gentle with her. He doesn’t usually hang around such soft people. both have the same idea when it comes to ending a disaster that happens. She tries blowing up this plane with her in it to stop it being used in killing people, but it does not go as planned. He tries the same thing later cuz while he did want to use it for himself what was found, he realised it was too much trouble “human’s aren’t ready for this yet”. He had a backup plan unlike her to escape before he would get consumed by the explosion. (Other people Lupin became friends with who he had a rocky start with (by rocky start I mean that they also tried to beat him up cuz he was insufferable first meeting: estp, Esfp, Infj, istp (out of these he is softest to the infj. I think it’s that introverted feelers that makes his fe want to take care of the introverted feelers people like Laetitia and Goemon. It’s nice seeing how gently he treats Goemon and Laetitia. He does show his sweet side to Esfp, but at some point he stops because Esfp does not take it seriously. I think he wonders what is the point in showing it to her and he reverts back to his usual attitude). Other people he got along with right away: Intp (he sees her as a niece cuz she’s 14). Who he respects yet he always messes with him: Estj. (Laetitia respects an estj called Zenigata and he is really nice to her. It’s nice seeing the stereotype of an infp and estj hating each other thrown in the trash like that computer meme).

Goemon knows how to roast, he has dark ideas and take jabs, but Lupin never really takes it too far with him. He pokes and prods, but not as much as he does with the others. The infj and infp respond positively to him being nicer, so he keeps doing it. They are his moral compass. Meanwhile, his istp friend tends to keep a distant to help and emotions. Lupin is best friends with the istp, he’d jump into a running bus for him, istp would do the same, but they don’t often have a heart to heart. Their play is more rough and they can take the more serious pokes and jabs at each other. (Lupin healthily boosts Laeitita’s Te to the surface which has her notice when she is being manipulated and to be more practical and to use her head in finding out more information on the person manipulating her (she is an adult infp so she actually is good at using it on her own, he just helps her use it even more and in a more practical sense). both connect with their si and Ne, honestly the nicest parts of the movie is when they’re just talking with each other quietly and not moving the plot forward. He also boosts up Goemon’s Se which has Goemon experience things more in life on a whim, he also helps Goemon notice when he’s being manipulated, but if Goemon has noticed he is being manipulated, he usually is not sure what to do if his usual methods don’t work, so Lupin helps him out of that situation. Meanwhile, both Laetitia and Goemon boost Lupin’s Fe to the surface and make him a nicer person in a healthy way. Meanwhile, with others he can be callous at times and not listen to them. He does not like to see Goemon and Laetitia sad and does his best to make them smile even at his own expense. He acts like a cheerleader for both in a way).

Mentor and student: Dazai, entp mentor, Atsushi, infp student. Bungou stray dogs. Dazai had saved Atsushi from homelessness with the usual trickery behind his back thing. And Atsushi is grateful and just stayed with the detective agency. At first, Dazai tries to keep a distance emotionally, pushing buttons. Atsushi becomes more confident and sassy because of Dazai, and Dazai feels like someone cares about him for once in his life so he softens. He gets in trouble and most of the people in this series just shrug it off, but Atsushi’s almost the only one worrying about him (Dazai got taken away by the mafia and Atsushi started worrying where Dazai has been for the past couple of days while the others don’t worry about it). Dazai loves that his student is so willing to listen to him, even his silly little antics, yet sass him back. Atsushi feels the most comfortable around Dazai aside from Kyoka. Dazai’s incredibly sweet to his student. These two have moments where they can talk about stuff with each other that they can’t with others. entp in mentor roles to infp always feel like that disgruntled dad adopting a stray puppy who’s looking for a home, at first the dad doesn’t want it, but he’s not going to throw the puppy out cuz that’d be cruel, but then he will throw a table if you even insist on finding the puppy a new home or suggest putting it down, eventually. Meanwhile, infp’s are just in general protective of their love ones right away. (Who Dazai was close to who died: Infj / someone he is friends with but won’t admit it: Entj/ Atsushi works with an estj who he respects greatly, they’re not friends or close, but both respect each other. You don’t see that happen often, but it can happen. It’s nice seeing the stereotype not being around for once in fiction / Kyoka is an isfp). Bonus cuz I’m not writing more cuz I’ll just keep repeating myself. Family: Edward and Alphonse from full metal alchemist. Yuta and Gojo from Jujutsu kaisen (Gojo is also his mentor). The family dynamic is a lot like the student and teacher I wrote with entp always being the oldest sibling or oldest distant cousins.

For Entp and infp to work, infp needs to have a bite to them from years of life experience and entp needs to soften from years of life experience. Most infp’s and entp’s in reality do mention being fond of the other. They always are great together in fiction too. I’m not sure exactly where these memes come from of them only hating each other, obviously there will be some infp and entp who dislike each other, but I hear more good than bad. Only an infp (and infj) can apparently make Entp feel this “strange protectiveness” over them that does not really come out for other people. (Side note. I also love seeing enfp/intj and intp/enfj together. they really do bring the best out of each other without overshadowing the other and putting them in a box. They all start out annoying each other, but can’t deny being drawn to each other).

#Entp x infp #Infp #entp #Infp x entp #Lupin iii #Bungou stray dogs #Mbti #Jujutsu kaisen #Full metal alchemist

[vikkirosko]

Hello, can I ask about Angel, Husk, Sir Pentious and Blitzø who are jealous that (some other character) spends time with their partner, what do they do?

Headcanons Time spent

🕷 Angel Dust x Reader 💖

You and Angel have always spent a lot of time together, but when you both checked into the hotel, you started spending more time with Charlie and Vaggie. It was interesting for you to discuss with them their plans for the hotel and even offer your ideas for improving the appearance of the hotel. At first Angel didn't pay attention to it, but when you started spending more time with them than with him, he started to get jealous

He didn't understand why you were more interested in them than with him. They both seemed very boring to him, so he didn't understand why you communicate with them so much. He pretended that he didn't care, but in fact he didn't. He was hurt, but he wasn't going to show it. He didn't want you to think he felt lonely without you

He often began to look upset and he could not hide it from you, although he did not say the reason for his longing. You began to worry about him, because usually he was always cheerful and carefree. The fact that he didn't tell you the reason for his sadness only made you more worried. You were afraid that the reason for his sadness was Valentino's actions, which Angel did not tell you about, so you tried to spend as much time with Angel as possible

Angel saw your concern and could no longer hide the reason for his sadness. He told you about how sad and lonely he was while you were talking to Charlie and Vaggie. You were surprised by this, but you felt relieved to know that he was all right. You hugged him and apologized for spending less time with him, promising to improve. You didn't want to offend him, so you decided to make up for the time you spent apart. The last thing you wanted was for Angel to be upset

🃏 Husk x Reader 🥃

Husk often behaved aloof, even though you were dating. He wasn't someone who was used to showing his feelings. However, when you started spending more time with Niffty than with him, he felt annoyed. He didn't like the fact that you started spending more time with her than with him

Husk wasn't going to tell you that he was jealous of your friend, but everyone noticed perfectly well that his behavior had changed. He became more irritable, but no one could understand the reason for this. You tried several times to find out from him what exactly made him so angry, but he didn't answer you. Niffty quickly began to guess the reason for his irritability, because she saw how he looked at you when you were talking to her

Niffty often asked you about your relationship with Husk and whether there were any changes in them, but you were sure that everything was fine with you. Niffty hinted to you that Husk was jealous, but it was hard for you to believe it. You've never seen him jealous, especially of your friend. However, the more you thought about it, the more you noticed that he was really jealous. That surprised you a lot. You didn't want this, so you decided to hurry to correct the misunderstanding that arose between you

Husk continued to claim that everything was fine, but he was pleased that you understood the reason for his irritation. You started spending more time with him, not wanting to offend him anymore. Niffty perfectly understood why you began to communicate less, so she was not offended, but on the contrary, she was happy for you and Husk. You were both her friends and she wanted you to be happy

🐍 Sir Pentious x Reader 🎩

Sir Pentious has always appreciated your attention very much. He didn't like it when you talked to other people a lot. So when you started talking to Cherry, he was outraged. He didn't like the fact that you were friends with his enemy and spent more time with her than with him, but he couldn't forbid you to communicate with anyone and this upset him even more

Pentious took out all his anger on his henchmen. He didn't want to quarrel with you, so he avoided venting rage at you. He was afraid that you might finally end your relationship for Cherry. The last thing he wanted to do was break up with you because of his jealousy

His henchmen told you that lately Pentious was especially angry at them. You decided to find out about the reason for this. You felt sorry for them because they didn't do anything wrong. However, Pentious refused to tell you the reason for his behavior, so his henchmen did it instead. You were genuinely surprised to find out that he was jealous of your friend, so you decided to hurry up and convince him that he had nothing to worry about

It took you a little while to convince him that you weren't going to leave him for Cherry or anyone else. You sincerely loved Pentious and did not want to break off your relationship, especially for the sake of someone else. Your words calmed and pleased him. He believed you and will never stop believing you

😈 Blitzø x Reader 🐴

Blitzø was not one of those who was jealous for any reason, but when he saw that you began to communicate with Verosika often, he felt a strong pang of jealousy. Every time he saw Verosika, he felt annoyed, and the fact that you started communicating with her made him very worried. He didn't want his ex-girlfriend to tell you nasty things about him and ruin your relationship

He tried to come up with a huge number of ways to prevent you from spending time with Verosika. He even tried to convince Moxxie, Millie and Loona to help him, but they did not want to participate in his adventures, so he tried to cope on his own. He didn't want to admit that the reason for his actions was jealousy. He didn't want to lose you

Verosika perfectly saw the jealousy of Blitzø. She didn't plan to ruin his reputation in your eyes. For her, you were a friend and since you were happy with Blitzø, she wasn't going to bother you.However, she couldn't miss the opportunity to annoy him a little more

Blitzø couldn't hide his jealousy for a long time and told you everything. You were surprised by that, but you weren't mad at him. You reassured him, claiming that you would never leave him and that your feelings for him have not cooled. Blitzø was happy to hear your words. He hoped that these words would be true for as long as possible

#Hazbin Hotel #Hazbin Hotel x Reader #Hazbin Hotel headcanons #Helluva Boss #Helluva Boss x Reader #Helluva Boss headcanons #Angel Dust #Angel Dust x Reader #Husk #Husk x Reader #Sir Pentious #Sir Pentious x Reader #Blitzø #Blitzø x Reader

[gilmoregirl]

hi,

i want to state the last week has been incredibly hard for so many, not only because of the gossip, accusations, and losing a place of comfort that caused a lot of confusion, angst, and anger, but also because some of us have been juggling it alongside difficult moments in real life as well - a time in which we could have used community the most. writing this out is mostly for those who are not comfortable reaching out to ask what happened, to be informative, and as a way for us to put the past firmly behind us and find a healing and joyful place to land in our future.

for those who weren't there from the beginning, let's make a few things clear. madi created brittle heart all on her own - from the site itself, the codes she'd made previously, to the discord. it was her solo build, which was never questioned. a few of us (myself and bertie) joined the site as members from the very first day. it grew quickly, and madi had included in the rules to reach out if you were interested in staffing at all. i was the first added to staff four days after it opened, and shortly after we added on athena and mads - a choice i'd made alongside madi as she asked for my input. prior to brittle heart, i'd had no idea who madi was, had been, or the sites she'd made in the past. i knew she'd returned from a year-long hiatus, but was incredibly excited for the future of bh. she urged all of us from day one - even when it was just the two of us - to make our own stamp on bh, add what we wanted, to help improve on what she'd already started. most of the things added in were majority member suggestions, and a few skin edits and discord updates that we thought would help the member base. a few weeks later, bertie and robin were added in at madi's suggestion - while we were a well oiled machine as a team of four, two more admins would allow for some of us to take absences without the growing member base needing to suffer. staffing was smooth, outside of a few intense member related issues that we made sure everyone had a voice in to respond as a team. it was so easy until it wasn’t. 

things began to take a turn during the week that the march madness event had been posted, on march 1st. from the moment i woke up on saturday, until the moment i went to bed late sunday night, my anxiety was at an all time high. there had been a misunderstanding from madi that myself and another admin had been arguing in the staff chat, when in fact we were just two passionate people who talk best by explaining every detail of our thought process, discussing what version of tallying points made the most amount of sense for the event via google sheet. madi had woken up to it, and while i was still asleep, was telling people that they had a "tone" because she'd misunderstood the conversation, a word that she'd been using on a more frequent basis. reading back it was confusing, and felt pointed at one person in particular, but we tried our best to shake it off and push forward. a bit later, a new channel appeared in the staff section labeled "staff issues", with a detailed message about how frustrated madi felt. it directly spoke about how bh had moved so far from the original vision, her original vision, and she was upset with that, and the size of the staff team she'd added on. it was long, and i could tell it was something she needed to get off her chest. i was the first to respond with a long message of my own, showing a lot of love for every single member of the staff team, including madi, and what she'd created. i did offer that i was a little confused, because we often polled in the staff team about decisions, and she'd responded to most of them (if not all), so i was unsure which particular moment had felt like too much. another member of staff responded with a lengthy response of their own, pulling away a bit from the staff issues during a large chunk, and going after two other admins by name for a personal issue regarding a face claim that no one was aware was a problem - because they hadn't expressed it was. one of the people named responded directly to the issue, a little confused, and apologetic, but it quickly spiraled away as madi accused them of making it all about them, and within minutes it escalated to terms "gaslighting" "abusive" from madi, before she quickly stated she would just close down bh instead.

what had turned from a difference of opinion about things like rewards points, badges, how to set up the future social media of our fictional roleplay site had suddenly turned into opening triggering wounds for everyone involved, and how this was madi’s site, her vision, and we were all just players within it - something she had the power to end at any minute all on her own. it stung, and made us all feel used for the talents we'd shared - skinning, discord building, our intense activity and worldbuilding, as well as general upkeep and moderation of the site. things settled for a bit as madi left to collect herself, and we all sat in the mystery of how she'd feel when she returned. would we suddenly be kicked from the server? would the site show up offline? we didn't know. the pit in my stomach grew, because while i'd spent the better part of my day trying to be ultra positive - if someone said this, if they apologized like that, it would all get better - i suddenly started to realize how uncomfortable i was with the idea of staying after how quickly things had spiraled and the harsh language used. when she returned, madi apologized, but once again made it clear - anyone could leave, as this was her vision, and hers alone. she wanted to find a way to return the site back to that, and while she appreciated our help, she could handle it if we no longer wanted to continue.

imagine spending every day for over a month, building connections, large and expansive group plots, starting a new skin day one of becoming staff as directed, helping direct others to requests that weren't even your own, staying up half a night alone to build an event you were so excited for but never got to participate in, just to be told suddenly that it meant absolutely nothing to someone you thought you were building a real friendship with. after a full day - of which i spent the entirety of it online - i went to sleep knowing we'd likely be leaving bh. be it out of pure anxiety, fate, or whatever else, the four of us woke up at odd hours, and decided it would be better to remove our things and leave a message rather than do it during the messiness of the middle of the day. so we did. we left a goodbye message in the staff chat, outlining how much we loved bh and our time on it, but if we were truly not all equal partners (as it had been said by madi multiple times we were - and was now being rescinded on) we didn't feel comfortable continuing on. it felt like the choice was stay on bh, be silent, do as we were told, or go, she wouldn't care either way. we left a note to members because we'd truly cherished that community, but felt belittled and didn't know how to continue on after what had been said. according to madi the night prior, anyone could leave, and it wouldn't change a thing for bh. we didn't know that she'd immediately take our goodbye down, post a message about closing the site, only to post a poll about maybe keeping it open before disappearing and leaving it all to rest on mad’s shoulders.

after leaving, the four of us decided we wanted to build something new, something ours - that we could all share and make it a point to expand upon with new voices when the time came. as we were brainstorming, we were sent screenshots, dm's, and a lot of inquiring messages. at the time, we didn't know how to respond, we wanted to keep it light, and give bh a chance to succeed without tainting it with what we'd been through. while we couldn't stay, we didn't want to ruin everyone else's good time. mads messaged us all privately, asking if we wanted any plots removed, and we gave the details of which we were comfortable leaving to bh, and which we weren't - some of the characters and families on bh were created years prior, and belonged to their original owners who weren't comfortable with others continuing those plots. around noon on monday, madi sent me a message stating she was sorry and leaving the rpc - and offered us bh. she mentioned she was leaving quickly - within the hour - and it gave us a sense of urgency to act and respond. the four of us were uncomfortable to going back to bh as if nothing had happened, as all we could see was how it was now madi's vision, and hers alone, and even when we'd forgiven her for the harsh words used, there would always be a shadow of her in its wake - she'd built it, and that would never change. in her goodbye message to me, it felt clear she would not be posting a goodbye message or actively closing the site, and had even told us if we didn't feel comfortable returning to use it as a way to reconnect or offer new projects. we decided to go back to close it properly, and give the members we'd written alongside the closure after a rough and frankly exhausting weekend. we wanted to be clear that we adored you all to not waste another moment of your time. we went back knowing we were there to close it up - and never attempted to lead anyone on - but waited as this whole situation caught the one remaining staffer at the end of their workday, and wanted to ensure they were fully up to date on what was going on and approved the sentiment before we posted a goodbye.

i'm sure you're wondering why this is now being recounted, of which there are two main reasons. one is the amount of whispers and gossip that has gotten back to us, insinuating we were somehow the problem, how we gave people hope in the two hours we were back in the discord waiting for mads to return home so we could post the goodbye. telling others the reason it closed was over things like face claims, or other menial issues, or because we just wanted to start a new project. the other is because now a total of six people have come to us or realized their own past with madi. one was someone i've known for over a decade, and while we don't rp much together these days, we chat every now and again. they asked me about bh - and about madi- and if she was still pulling the same shit. they used specific phrases and words that madi had used against us, and let me know this happened to them too, on another site. in just a matter of days, so many people had shared an incredibly eerily similar experience - madi created something, was unhappy with the direction it was going after some time (usually within a one or two month mark), caused a commotion by using intense and directed language, and left others to pick up the pieces after she walked away. she's gone by multiple aliases - madi, myah, blair, and this behavior has spanned the better part of a decade, if not longer. pulling people in to be her closest of friends, making everyone feel as if they're on equal footing, before pushing them away and hoping for the best. if it hadn't been for the fact that many - and i mean many - people have come to us in the last week, i'd never speak publicly about this. 

i want the best for madi, i truly hope her tumblr goodbye message is right, and that she spends more time surrounding herself with loving family and friends, finding new joys and good fun. i hope she heals from the events of what happened. but i do not want it to be made out like i, or my close friends, were in the wrong here when we were merely the newest in a line of many that have been sucked in and then spit out at the expense of someone else's vision. no one owes anyone enough to stay in an environment where they are berated, put down, treated as lesser, or told that while their work is great they are not allowed to hold an opinion. this is a hobby, it's meant for light and fun, and joy, and that is frankly all that any of us want for ourselves and our futures. i’m sorry if the closing of bh was difficult for you, as it was incredibly hard for us to leave, but we did so because of the difficulties experienced.

i do not plan to discuss this again. if you would like to reach out, my discord dm's are open. for now, thank you to anyone who has read this, i'm going to enjoy less time being so chronically online, touch some grass, eat some snacks, focus on the writing that brings me joy with people that support and value one another, and show those closest to me some love. i sincerely suggest you all do the same. 

#rp things #brittle heart #washawayrp #truly am a wordy human

[quartergremlin]

avatar live action first impressions:

i like the sets!

i dont really like the cgi bemdimg, but it's not egregiously bad either. I don't like the pacing of the starting fight, and the earthvemdimg is missing that good ome-two pumch, but it's something that if it hadn't already been pointed out to me, I probably wouldn't have noticed.

i also like the idea of small-scale resistance of the earth kingdom (besides jet, jet was framed as an outlier). I appreciate that out of everyone who lost their homes and their families and their livelihoods, there were more options in the earth kingdom than 1: moving somewhere else and hope it doesn't happen again or 2: ve rich and stick your head in the same. oh this is im the past nevermind-

that is some pretty impressive costuming! however. that fake beard. jesus.

i do like the "avatar stairs" that seems like. the shittiest place to spend eternity. Hope you didn't ignore leg day when you were alive. Are they allowed to sit down?

i dont know if I like the fact that aang is the only one flying around or not. probably a sound decision. that many fake flying people in the background.... yeah this is for the better.

i also like how the war is framed in the past outside of aang's perspective. As a kid, it would have seemed like,, the war just happened one day. "The fire nation attacked".

HES TWELVE!!! HES SO TIMY!!!! 😭

aamg just. taking some time instead of intentionally running away is. a choice. that will have some repercussions for his character. but I trust we all understand that without me writing a dissertation about it.

that guy: im a monk, but... 💨💨💥

that said I was prepared for monk gyatso to suck all of the air out of the room in a desperate final stand, but whatever. it's fine. that was fan speculation anyway. makes sense they didn't think that hard about it and just did a regular fight.

zuko keeping tiny avatar statues! i do love and understand that.

so if I'm getting this right:

aang never ran away. so any guilt related to him doing so ever. is just. fake! yes that guilt would still be there, but without like. an actual purposeful action that aang took, the answer is always going to be that he "didn't mean to". He was going to be the avatar (he was going back), but he got caught up in the storm. It was an accident. Where is the arc?

sokka has no misogyny arc, so he's p much right about everything ever. Still doesn't care about bending, but he's being reasonable about the responsibility that they have to their home. He's going to keep doing that for the entire series herding these kids like cats. is the plan to just. have him respect Katara's bending and that's it? Where is the arc?

Katara. since sokka is like. a reasonable guy and not just telling katara to go do some "women's work" what little anger she has is less justified. it feels like she's been de-fanged in response. my least favorite thing in a female character. Sokka shouts her down and she's just. fine with that. upset about it, yeah. but where's the anger, the passion? she was trying to get the boat and duped it up. The problem here is her lack of experience. not lack of control. Where is the arc?

Takeaway: i'll give it a three. I've watched worse things. But the misunderstanding of characters pisses me off and im not sure if I want to stick around to see if they get it together. if I stop, it will probably be because I got bored. Mismanaged pacing is the real killer if it's not ugly as sin.

#avatar the last airbender #/AMD/ THEY KILLED KATARA'S AGEMCEY WTF #there is somethimg so small as a character /decidimg/ to go imstead of veimg forced to that cam make amd vreak shit

[littleoldpessimistme]

20230408

So, it’s been a hot minute.

Today I wanna rant a bit about sexuality, because that’s what’s been on my mind in the last couple days. (Warning: long post)

(Also, there’s a bit about a bad relationship I had, nothing graphic, and I wouldn’t call it abusive, just some misunderstandings and hurt feelings, but let me know if I should put a tw.)

Let me just start this whole thing by saying that growing up I believed myself to be straight (I feel like it’s also worth mentioning that I come from a historically very homophobic country, I was like 13 when I first realized that queer people actually exist). I don’t remember having any crushes in my early childhood like how people say that they had crushes on cartoon characters, but by the age of 12 I discovered fandoms and I started becoming obsessed with certain actors and singers.

I don’t know if this is embarrassing or not, but I can’t say that I grew out of my celebrity obsession phase until around my late teen years. As time went on my classmates and my friends kept getting into relationships and for the life of me I could not understand why you’d wanna date our classmate Gary when he’s not Andrew Garfield. I kind of felt like an alien sometimes and not in a fun way. Looking back I do think I was a bit overdramatic (as teenagers usually are), but I did feel very isolated and I kept thinking that something was fundamentally wrong with me cause I did not like the things my peers did. 

(I did occassionally have some fleeting crushes on boys from my school, mostly on friends but those usually passed in like a week)

I remember one time (around the age of 17) I was talking to a girl from my school and the topic somehow came up and I told her that I’ve never been in love with a real person, only fictional characters or actors 20 years older than me and she kind of jokingly called me childish. Although now I realize that she most likely wasn’t trying to be mean I remember feeling really embarrassed and hurt.

Ironically a few months after this conversation one of my (at the time) best friends confessed to me and I felt like I kinda had some feelings for him as well, so we started dating. The first few months of the relationship were really nice we spent a lot of time together and I was genuinely sad when we were apart. I did feel like I was in love with him.

A few things however became apparent early on in the relationship. One of which was the simple fact that I did not want to have sex with him. We were both virgins and when I told him I’m not sure I’m ready, he said that he totally understands and he won’t force me to do anything I don’t want to do. After like 6 months we started having more and more problems. I remember one time we were having a conversation about sex, mainly that he really wanted it. I know now that it’s partly my fault for not communicating my own feelings clearly but in my defense I didn’t really understand them myself. I just knew that the thought of sex made me very uneasy and I couldn’t really imagine myself in that situation. 

One thing I could articulate was the fear of getting pregnant (which was a genuine fear of mine, but deep down I knew it was only one aspect of the whole thing) and that’s what I told him. This turned out to be a mistake because he started coming up with reasons as to why my fear was irrational and listing contraceptive methods (as if I didn’t know that condoms existed). I started crying because I couldn’t handle the amount of pressure I suddenly found myself under which made him upset and he started saying things like he thought that we could talk about stuff like this and this made me feel even worse, like I was letting him down.

Obviously I don’t want to blame him and he had his own mental health struggles. I remember he used to tell me that I was the only person in the entire world who loved him and the only happiness he ever felt was when he was with me, when we were apart he was so depressed that he couldn’t function at all. I guess he thought that this would sound romantic but it just deeply scared me.

After a year of dating I eventually broke up with him, mostly because I felt inadequate at helping him overcome his depression and ptsd and spending time with him started feeling like a chore rather than a thing that I actually enjoyed doing. While we were in the process of breaking up he told me that he regrets never sleeping with me because the hormones released during sex help build a connection and I remember feeling really weirded out about that. The whole thing was especially hard on my part because I felt like falling out of love was my fault and obviously he was upset to the point where he literally quoted Green Day’s song “Nice guys finish last” on me which to this day makes me cringe. 

I hate to admit this but I still feel kind of guilty about breaking up with him when I think about it, but I felt that it would be cruel to keep him in the dark and pretend that everything was alright when in reality I didn’t love him anymore. 

Another interesting thing is that I had my first kiss with him and to this day he’s the only person I ever kissed. I am aware that this kind of makes my judgement questionable, because I don’t have anything to compare it to, so he could just be a bad kisser but I kind of hated kissing him. I rarely initiated making out because whenever we did I felt weird. Sometimes I could tolerate it, but mostly it just felt kind of gross and it didn’t really do anything for me. I know that he noticed this, along with the fact that I never let him kiss me in public, or in front of our friends and he told me once that it bothered him that I “never acted like his girlfriend” in public. I kind of knew that this was unusal but I really couldn’t help it, I felt like I’d rather die than engage in any form of PDA because the thought just made me incredibly uncomfortable, but I knew that this wasn’t because of him, just the general idea of others seeing me like that bothered me.

And this is how we get to the sexuality part. It’s been almost 2 years since we broke up and in the last year I’ve been kind of connecting some dots and I read a lot about different identities and other people’s experiences. I still kind of say that I’m questioning, but I find that I resonate a lot with ace folks’ stories and came to the conclusion that I might be somewhere on the asexual spectrum. 

So I just started kind of accepting the fact that I may not have all the gears in the big scheme of attraction, but in the last few days I’ve been sent into a romantic attraction crisis as well. I’ve been saying to myself that it’s okay if I’m asexual, because I can still feel romantic attraction and will eventually fall in love with someone who will accept me for who I am. I’ve always been a hopeless romantic, I’ve read hoards of fanfics about my fave characters over the last like 7 years, it’s one of my favorite hobbies. But I started to realize that I don’t care much for romantic relationships in my own life.

When I think about it, I realize that I’ve always been this way. I remember my mother (oh boi I could talk about her for hours as well) telling me as a young teenager that I was too closed off, “like an ice queen” and I needed to be more approachable if I wanted boys to like me. But I don’t think I actually wanted them to like me. I only wanted to be liked by boys because I felt left out, and embarrassed that I was the only one of my friends who didn’t get a Valentine’s from a secret admirer.

One of my closest friends got engaged last summer and she’s been telling me about the wedding preparations and how she wants everything to be, and that also made me realize that I’ve never thought about what kind of wedding I’d want, not even as a child. I have two other friends who are also in committed relationships and they too talk a lot about marriage and having kids in the near future and I feel so disconnected from them.

I still meet with my old friends from high school sometimes and some of them always ask me if I have anyone I’m talking to at the moment and I always just say no, and they always look at me with pity and I don’t know how to explain to them that I’m perfectly fine this way. I’ve noticed that people seem to accept the concept of a single person longing to be in a relationship and actively putting in effort to find someone, but they simply can’t wrap their heads around the fact that someone might not want to be in a relationship at all?

Whenever I tried to explain this to people before I was always hit with “you’re too young/haven’t found the right person yet/you’ll change your mind” and these always make me question myself and feel bad about myself.

But to close this on a hopeful note I do believe that it doesn’t really matter. Right now I feel like the asexual-aromantic spectrum resonates with me and if I do turn out to be “too young to know” and I eventually “find the right one” then I’ll do that. And it’s not gonna be a big deal at all. 

So yeah, that’s about it for today. If you stumbled upon this nonsense and had the brainpower to read it congrats and thank you! And if you’re aspec and want to share your experience with me, go ahead I’d love to read it!  💜 🖤 🤍 💚

Stay rad!

#asexual #asexual spectrum #aromantic #aroace #questioning #why is attraction so difficult #i just wanna read my fanfics in peace #and eat cake #queer #ranting #vent #long post #past relationship mention #internalized aphobia #am i asexual #am i aromantic #the world may never know #no bitches lol #side blog

[stargazer-sims]

★ Chasing Ghosts ★

Rebel Saetang (keyboard, vocals), Tatsuya “Violet” Kanematsu (lead vocals, guitar), Emi Moriuchi (violin) & Kaito Moriuchi (percussion)

random facts

The band is made up of two couples. Emi and Kaito are married, as are Rebel and Violet, although most people don't actually know Rebel and Violet are married to each other since they didn't have a public wedding (they were married by a judge) and they didn't make any announcements.

Emi and Kaito met in middle school. Violet met Emi during their first year of high school, and she introduced him to Kaito. Rebel and Violet met at the bike rental business where Violet worked part-time during his high school years.

‘Rebel’ is Rebel’s real name

"Violet' is obviously not Violet's real name, but a lot of people actually think it is. There are a lot of people who know him reasonably well who have either forgotten that his real name is Tatsuya, or who never knew it to begin with.

Rebel’s father is Thai and his mother is Japanese-Canadian. His dad is not in his life; he was raised by his single mom, who is an actress. His upbringing was essentially travelling back and forth between Canada and Japan for his mom's work, and because of that, he didn't go to school regularly. He had a private tutor who lived and travelled with them.

Violet’s younger cousin, Taiji, is also a famous performer, as part the idol group Sugar Valentine

Emi got her stage name when she spent her last year of high school studying abroad. Someone in her class on the first day misheard her name, thinking it was “Emoji” and confusion ensued for a while until the misunderstanding got sorted. However, for better or worse, “Emoji” stuck to her as a nickname after that.

Kaito wanted to be a chef if he hadn’t been able to break into the music industry.

Rebel has a speech impediment (stuttering) that gets worse when he's nervous or stressed and goes away when he sings. He’s shy about giving interviews because of it, but is perfectly comfortable performing. Sometimes he stops talking altogether when he's really upset, stressed or scared. He and Violet have developed their own "secret code" to deal with this.

Kaito has a fear of water and doesn’t know how to swim

Emi has been mistaken for a boy on multiple occasions, including a few times on live TV.

Violet loves cowplants and even has one tattooed on his leg.

Emi and Rebel have the same birthday, but he's a year older than her.

Kaito is obsessed with vampires

#ts4 #sims 4 #eagames #snowy escape #chasing ghosts #fake band #stargazersims

[scalamore]

Novel Summary from Ch 110-111 (Part 5)

Lariette kept on frowning, despite being asleep. Rupert, who’s staring over her, wondered if she was dreaming or was experiencing a nightmare; but based on her expression, it looked as though she’d rather sleep forever, choosing to experience those nightmares over reality. He felt like he could do anything in his ability to wake her up, and chewed on his chapped lips again. I want you.

He calmly admitted. It was a bitter acknowledgement. It as a mess of denial and confusion.

He didn’t want her because she was the perfect one. Simply, it had to be her. He had no real reason otherwise.

He looked down at her, who was breathing heavily.

“You don’t like me, do you?” He knew those eyes held hatred for him. That was fine. What wasn’t was her running away. Even if she escaped by crossing the river of the dead, it was unacceptable for her not to be his.

Rupert didn’t possess much. As such, he wasn’t the type to let his things go easily. At first glance, he was similar to the Emepror who desired his mother. He could somewhat understand why that man clung to a doll that was neither dead or alive. But that small misunderstanding was enough to cause him to hate himself. After all, how could one understand such a beast, worse than a monster who destroyed everything?

However, he also believed that there wasn’t anything he could do if Lariette died there and then. There was no way he wouldn’t use force to save her. This was the first time he saw someone’s life like this. The emotion he felt was so new, it was impossible for him to define it. When Eva had died, he was simply relieved because he felt bad for her. He was glad when her horrible life finally ended. “Do you want to die because I desired you?”

 It wasn’t right, or wrong. He buried his hands in her arms and sighed.

I ruined you.

He was a coward. Although he was afraid of becoming like that man, he was more terrified of her dying.

But she was much, much more cunning than him.

He wondered as he watched Lariette slowly opened her eyes. He admired how pretty she was as the beams of sunlight casted on her snow-white face and eyelids. His feelings grew stronger. He had fallen hopelessly for her, the one who completely deceived him with her innocent gaze. You are sly, Lariette Isabelle de Belois. Out of all the people he’d met in his life, she had manipulated him in the most cowardly way – she stole his heart. She most likely knew he wouldn’t bat any eye to any personal threats or danger. She didn’t threaten to seize the throne using House Belois’ forces. She didn’t try to run away either. Instead, she threatened him by using her own life. It was such a small threat, but he was so scared she would go through with it, so he watched helplessly, unable to do a thing. In terms of risk and benefit, her death was not a loss at all. How useful could the former Emperor’s daughter be, when the people didn’t even remember his name? She wasn’t a particularly useful maid either. However, it would be a big deal for him if Lariette disappeared. He felt as though the world will collapse completely. “Lariette.”

He could see her scarlet lips wince as he called her name.

“Get up now.”

Usually she didn’t listen to his commands properly, but this time she magically came to her senses immediately. He was relieved to see her awake, but would soon regret it.

“Please leave me alone.”

His heart shattered to pieces before he could even ask her why she tried to die. The first thing she said as soon as she woke up was to leave her alone. She was begging him to let her die.

She didn’t request to return to Belois. She also knew how ridiculous that request was – but it was much more ridiculous for her to ask him to let her die. She should’ve known that. He became upset knowing she was aware that he would never be able to watch her take her own life. He was also devastated by the fact she didn’t trust him at all.

“I’m sorry...”

“Don’t apologize.”

Laliette sobbed and kept apologizing, but Rupert didn’t want to hear anymore. She was cruel. Despite her crying he did not feel sorry at all. He lifted his barely moving hand to wipe away her tears. She kept crying to the point that it seemed her body would completely shrivel up.

It felt like if he touched her, she would vanish like a ghost.

Was she always this pale?

“Don’t cry.”

“Your Highness– I mean, Your Majesty should not cry.”

“When did I cry?” He gave a faint laugh – it was a while since he last laughed, but before he could finish, she spoke up. His mouth dried.

“Do you love me?”

“…What’s love?”

It was a childish but genuine question. Rupert didn’t understand what she was asking.

"Can you do something when you don't know about it?"

"Of course I can."

Laliette's expression was unreadable. It was an ambiguous face that showed no indication whether she was smiling or crying. Although her tears were soaking her cheeks, she was trying to smile.

"Does Your Majesty know how it feels to die?"

“.......”

"Can you continue living forever just because you haven’t experienced death? Things like that exist in the world. Things you won’t understand until you experience them firsthand. Love is one of those things. It's the same for me."

“So?”

"Please don’t love me."

"I don't love you."

She seemed to be relieved hearing Rupert's flat answer.

"You told me to tell you what I desire, right?"

“Yeah.”

"As long as I don't die?”

Laliette's voice became clearer. Rupert was overcome with anxiety when her round light-brown eyes fixed on him. What would she say to him this time?

"I won't die. I won’t return to Belois either, so you don't have to worry about a rebellion."

“I never worried.”

“The only condition is that I never see you again."

“.......”

“For the rest of my life, I don't want to see you ever again."

It was hard for him to breathe.

"I don't want a relationship with you. We have a terrible relationship."

Rupert couldn’t say anything. He wondered if she knew how cruel she was being. He stood there, unable to breathe, but she continued speaking. He felt cold. It was as if she ripped his heart out and submered it in a frozen lake.

“Why.” Rupert quietly asked.

She stopped speaking.

She stared at him with widened eyes before looking down at the floor. She was crying again.

"Because it hurts so much."

"What is?"

"Deceiving you, Your Majesty. Don't let me hurt you in another way again."

"I said it's fine. I told you I don’t care.”

"Even if Your Majesty is okay with it, the guilt consumes me. I'm very selfish so I don’t want to endure it."

"It's okay if I don't love you then.”

"No, Your Majesty. If you don't listen to me now, I won’t have any other choice."

"Why not?"

"I apologize for my impertinence... But it’s too difficult for me to stay by Your Majesty’s side."

“Lariette.”

"Your Majesty, if you don't listen, it’ll be so hard on me I’ll want to die. I want to leave."

Rupert was speechless. Just hearing those words drained him. How could such a weak voice have that much impact? He didn't even have the energy to complain. He felt numb and hopeless.

“…Don’t die. I’m sorry.”

“Your Majesty, don’t hold onto me.”

Ah.

Rupert gave a small nod. He heard those words before from Eva. It was the last words his mother cried out before she died.

“Don't hold onto me,” she cried out as she tore herself apart from the emperor’s grasp.

Laliette had allowed it though.

"You said I could.”

"I don't think it’s possible anymore."

He was upset at Laliette for telling him to do this and that. But he realized she was just like Eva. That desperation was understandable. She must’ve wanted to run away. She probably didn’t even want to breathe the same air as him.

Rupert had no choice but to nod. It was natural. There was no way an ordinary person like her would want to stay by his side. She wanted to protect House Belois, and he had already promised her he would.

Rupert could have turned into a doll like his mother. However, he had no desire to do that. He could have snapped her ankles so she couldn’t go anywhere, then locked her up inside a bird cage and watched her for his own pleasure.

But he couldn't.

It’s not that he didn’t want to act like the Emperor had, rather, he was afraid Lariette would become just like Eva. Her heart would stop beating but she was still alive. However, she wouldn’t be the same as she was before.

He didn't want to make it so that she could never comment on the pretty wild flowers again.

“Alright...”

If you hate me, I'll live like a dead man.

"Don't even dream about me either."

Those cruel words cut deep like a knife, shredding him apart and leaving nothing behind.