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#the jedi sending out literal children into war like 'yeah this is fine'
incorrectskywalkers · 5 months
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more disaster lineage cal au incorrect quotes because i really want to write a fic about this but writer's block be damned so i'm doing this instead
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Anakin: I lost Cal. Obi-Wan: How did you LOSE Cal?! Anakin: To be fair, he is very small.
~~~
Obi-Wan, watching Cal do something stupid: Anakin, you're officially only the second highest risk here. Anakin: Hell yeah! I'm gonna— Obi-Wan: Don't finish that sentence, you'll move back up.
~~~
Obi-Wan: Cal, please get that hideous thing out of the living room, would you? Cal, to Anakin: Obi-Wan wants you to get out of the house.
~~~
Anakin, to Cal: Okay, I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died- Cal: Twelve, actually. Anakin: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that? Cal: Yours. Anakin: That's right, no one's. Also don't tell Obi-Wan about this.
~~~
Anakin: What’s wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone’s throat out. Obi-Wan: Cal and Ahsoka were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn't get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.
~~~
Cal: Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective? Ahsoka: *crouches down* Obi-Wan: *kneels down* Anakin: *sits on the floor* Cal: Cal: I hate all of you.
~~~
Anakin, driving and singing to the Little Einsteins theme song: We’re going on a trip- Cal: In our favorite piece of shit! Ahsoka: Doing 95! Obi-Wan: We’re going to kriffing die!
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phoenixyfriend · 3 years
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Auntie ‘Soka and Little Leia (and Rex)
The counterpart to Uncle Ben and Little Luke (Original Post, Chrono)
Listen. You all knew this was coming.
This got... very long and detailed and I’m going to have to clean it up and post to AO3. As in, this was supposed to be 2-3k and is literally ten times that long. It crossed 25k. And the initial section actually glosses over a bunch, actual fic-style writing starts at “That, of course, is when things get interesting.”
Warnings: discussion of various canon traumas (most relating to being child soldiers), general PTSD, several scenes featuring dissociation or panic attacks upon being triggered, and canon-typical violence.
Rated T, gen.
I still want there to be de-aging nonsense involved so Ahsoka is physically a late teenager despite having a solid two decades of field experience behind her (we’re pulling her from Malachor).
Leia, much like Luke, is now six. She just came from being a rebellion general. She is not happy about being a child. She was already short, this is just mean.  She’s a human espresso.
UNLIKE BEN, Ahsoka is not happy about this turn of events. Being seventeen-ish is not helpful in the outer rim. She’s a female togruta, young and healthy, and in the Outer Rim, caring for a small human child. Sure, she has her lightsabers and plenty of combat experience, and she can keep them safe, but she’s just one person, and a major target for those looking to make some quick cash. It doesn’t matter how good she is; she needs sleep at some point.
It makes my heart happy to treat Ahsoka and Rex as two halves of the same black ops specialist so you know what, he’s there too! He’s physically like... 10-12 in natborn, maybe. They’re not sure, because clones age weird. He’s moderately more useful than Leia (who is very competent but also physically six, and short for that age), but he’s still... very small.
Reminder that none of them have been born yet.
Ahsoka has a harder time explaining WHY she has children with her, since she's barely more than a kid herself, and clearly unrelated by species. She sometimes just says “Oh, my adoptive brother’s kids” since it’s kind of the truth for Leia and she’s not touching the actual truth about Rex with a ten foot pole.
Ahsoka definitely knows about Leia being a Skywalker, or at least has suspicions that Bail never outright confirmed but was conspicuously quiet about. She does tell Leia about it, but it’s not like that means anything, right? Just, you know, your dad was my teacher! I don’t have to tell you he became Va--oh shit, you already knew that part. Well, fuck. What do you mean he had a son? OH SHIT, PADME HAD TWINS.
Alt take for explaining why she’s got kids: She’s my foundling, I know her name as my child (Leia shut up!!!)
(Ahsoka can fake Mandalore. Sometimes.)
That said, there is... significantly less gambling and significantly more theft to get to Coruscant.
As previously stated, Ahsoka is a black ops kinda gal, and more importantly, she looks like a fairly attractive young woman in the Outer Rim, with two children in good health. She’s a target, and also not the kind of person one generally gambles with. If she does gamble, people get upset when she doesn’t lose, in ways they don’t get upset about Ben doing the same, because she’s, again, a cute teenage girl. It’s exhausting.
As things go, she largely ends up stealing from people who deserve it and/or smuggling herself and her charges into someone else’s ship. They’re small, they can hide. Sometimes she can get them all passage by working as a mechanic, she’s good at that.
Once they’ve got a handle on when they are, they have to decide on Names. None of them have been born yet, so technically they could use their own names without anyone Knowing. Rex and Leia might not even be born, depending on how successful they are at, you know, stopping the war and everything. Ahsoka, though, she’s going be born in two years, and there’s no reason to prevent it, so... she doesn’t want to steal baby-her’s name. That would be mean.
Leia is already calling her “Auntie ‘Soka” when she can for reasons like “selling the bit” and “manipulating adults” and “making us both feel better after we had a mutual breakdown about Anakin being Vader.” Ergo, she decides that whatever new name she picks better include that in some way, and decides on “Sokari” because it sounds pretty.
Overall, they don’t... they don’t actually make it very far before there’s an Incident. Again, teenager with small children. They spend a lot of time hiding out in space ports looking for an opportunity.
That, of course, is when things get interesting.
Specifically, Ahsoka spots a Mandalorian.
She doesn’t recognize the armor. She does recognize the sigil, and thinks ‘well, they’re more likely to help than some,’ because from what she’s heard, the Haat Mando’ade are Decent People Overall. Her view is a little biased, mostly on account of the sheer level of grudge she has against Kyr’tsad. It’s fine! The True Mandalorians have the same grudge, right? And Mandalorians like kids and Ahsoka hasn’t slept in five days and it’s fine. It’s fine! IT’S FINE.
“Oh shit,” Rex whispers, before she can suggest anything. “Oh fuck.”
“Stop cursing,” Leia hisses, elbowing him. “People are going to notice.”
“That’s the Prime,” Rex panics, mostly quiet. Ahsoka’s heart drops, because fuck is right. “That’s Fett.”
Leia isn’t impressed. Ahsoka just angles herself between Fett and Rex and hopes that he doesn’t see them. That’s just asking for trouble.
Unfortunately, Ahsoka is in fact running on none sleep with left trauma, and doesn’t notice Fett walking up and dropping into a seat across from them until he’s actually done so, removing his helmet to glare a little more efficiently.
“Wanna explain why your kid has my face?”
Ahsoka later tells herself that he’s killed Jedi and that’s why he can sneak up on her, and that she can be forgiven some slip-ups with the exhaustion being what it is, and that she’s obviously going to be dealing with some emotional instability in light of the sudden return of teenage hormones and new forms of anxiety that are markedly different from those she was dealing with a few weeks ago.
What Ahsoka wants to say is “that’s kind of a long story,” or “maybe he’s a cousin,” or “kriff off, I don’t know you,” or maybe even “he’s a clone.”
What Ahsoka actually does is burst into tears, which is embarrassing for her, for Fett, for the kids, and for the entire rest of the bar.
It really is the straw that broke the eopie’s back. Even when she was actually this age, she didn’t exactly cry much. Objectively, Fett quasi-aggressively asking a valid question shouldn’t send her into a panic. She’s been through torture and worse. She shouldn’t be crying.
But she is, sobbing her eyes out with no control, and he’s just sitting across from her and looking uncomfortable while Rex wraps his little arms--oh Force he’s so small--around her, and both ‘children’ glare at Fett.
“So, I’m going to take it she didn’t kidnap you from a loving family or do something illicit with a blood sample,” Fett says, after it becomes obvious that Ahsoka’s not going to be ready to talk any time soon.
“She didn’t,” Rex says stiffly, with just the right emphasis for Fett to catch what’s implied. Ahsoka just keeps her head down, eyes pressed against the heels of her palms, trying to get her body to stop rebelling against her.
Fett’s eyes dart to Leia, who folds her arms and draws herself up, every bit the unimpressed princess. “My father claimed her as a sister, so she’s my Auntie ‘Soka.”
The man dithers a bit, the conversation clearly not going where he’d expected. “Right,” he says. “You--you’re all kids. I thought she was a little older, at least, but I didn’t have a good look at her face before.”
She is older, but actually admitting that is only going to make this worse, both for her pride and for her chances of making it out alive.
“Where are you staying?”
“What?” Leia bites out.
“You’re kids, you’re alone, and you’re clearly not okay if you were trying to hide the one with my face as blatantly as you did, and then... whatever this is, when I confronted you,” Fett explains. Ahsoka lifts her head to glare at him, but it’s probably not doing much with the way her eyes are rimmed with red and still wet. “Don’t give me that look, ad’ika, your kids looked as confused and horrified by that as the bartender did. They obviously didn’t think it was normal either.”
Well, kriff you too, Ahsoka thinks.
“And what do you mean by ‘blatantly,’ here?” Leia challenges. It’s adorable, but Ahsoka watched this tiny girl shoot a man last week, and wonders when people are going to start taking that seriously.
“There’s a lot of people in this galaxy, and I don’t exactly have the clearest memory of what I looked like at that age,” Fett says, slow and careful like he thinks they’re dumb. Ahsoka decides to chalk it up as being because Leia’s visibly six. “I would have thought it was just a coincidence if you hadn’t put in effort to hide him.”
Leia huffs, and Rex glares harder. Fett just sighs, like they’re all going to give him grey hairs.
“You can explain whatever the hell’s going on,” Fett says. “I’ll let you stay on my ship, there’s a spare bunk and you’re small.”
“For free?” Rex demands.
“A night on a bunk in exchange for information,” Fett clarifies. “We can negotiate from there.”
Ahsoka takes a few moments, notes that both of the others are waiting on her for the decision, and cringes. She doesn’t feel steady enough to carry that. She has to anyway.
“Rex?” she asks, voice rasping after the breakdown of the past few minutes.
“Yeah?”
“How much?”
He looks up at her, eyes calculating, and grimaces. “We don’t want Order 66. A warning is better, even if we... share information.”
She nods, and turns to Leia. “Any premonitions, princess?”
Leia glowers, cute and furious. “No.”
“No, don’t tell, or no, you aren’t getting any vibes about sharing info one way or the other?”
“The latter,” Leia clarifies, huffy to the last.
“Right,” Ahsoka says, and then just... hesitates. “Fett...”
“You’ve got conditions,” he guesses.
She bares her teeth in what could have, through a squint and perhaps a few drinks, been called an apologetic smile. “Just one, really.”
“Yeah?”
“No hurting, killing, or turning us in for bounties,” she says. “Any of us.”
“You’re children, I wouldn’t.”
She blinks at him, slow and careful. She hesitates. She reaches down, out of sight, sees him stiffen.
She unclips her sabers from her belt and puts them on the table.
His eyes are fixed on the weapons the second they enter his line of sight, and don’t move as he clearly realizes why she made the condition she did.
“I left years ago, because I couldn’t stay without it ruining me,” she says. Still slow. Still careful. She’s so tired. “But if I want to keep Leia safe, I have to get back to Coruscant.”
His eyes finally lift from the sabers, expression blank. “Just her?”
“Rex doesn’t have the same monsters coming after him,” she says. “If it were just me and him, I’d worry less. Leia’s a different kind of target.”
“You’re putting a lot of faith on the table by telling me that,” Fett says, voice flat and toneless. “Considering my occupation.”
“She’s a child,” Ahsoka says, feeling heavy and boneless. “Even with what I was and will be, even with what money you would get from the right buyer, you wouldn’t.”
“There are other risks.”
“There are.”
They stare at each other for too long, probably, and then Fett jerks as Rex kicks him under the table. The boys glare for a moment, and then Rex says, “If she weren’t good, I’d still be a slave to those who grew me.”
Fett blinks, and then nearly growls the word, “What?”
“She freed me,” Rex reiterates. “While I was trying to shoot her.”
Ahsoka lifts a hand and puts it on his far shoulder, pulling him into her side. She doesn’t meet Fett’s eyes again, because part of her is back on Mandalore, dodging her own soldiers and crying out as her family dies across the galaxy.
Fett breathes in. Breathes out. He puts a hand to his head, visibly frustrated. “Fine. A good Jedi kid, and two smaller kids, one of which is apparently in some way mine.”
Rex makes a face, which is fair, but also not helping.
“To the ship,” Ahsoka says, putting her sabers back on her belt and sliding out of the seat. “I’m... I’m Sokari.”
“You already know my name.”
“I do.”
---------------------------
Fett watches her like she’s a predator, which has the benefit of being accurate and slightly flattering. She lets other two take care of most of talking, and then Fett tells her to sleep first, and talk in the morning.
“You’re dead on your feet, jetii,” he snorts. “And that crying jag didn’t do you any favors. Sleep.”
So she does, and Fett doesn’t even wake her. He just lets her sleep. He watches her in the way of a guard. She sees him when she gets up to use the ‘fresher in the middle of the night, but he doesn’t even comment when she collapses right back into the mediocre cot she’s borrowed for the cycle.
Rex and Leia are safe, her hindbrain tells her, even in the depths of sleep. Her mind curls around theirs in the Force, and she trusts that they are here. They are not happy, but they are alive and unharmed, and that has to be enough.
When she stumbles her way to true wakefulness, groggy and loose-limbed, Fett greets her with caf.
“The kids wouldn’t let me near you,” he tells her.
“They’re good,” she says, cupping her hands around the mug. She feels wobbly, in every sense. Her body, her mind, her emotions, her connection to the Force. Nothing is on-kilter right now. “Did they tell you anything?”
“They waited for you,” he says. “But the little miss needed a nap of her own. They’re down in the other bunk.”
“I didn’t notice,” she admits. She should have. She’s Fulcrum. She’s a veteran of the Clone Wars. She’s... she’s supposed to be better than this.
“How long?” he asks, and then when she squints up at him, he clarifies. “How long did you fight?”
“My last fight--”
“No, whatever war you came out of,” he says. Her chest twists cold. “I don’t know if the Jedi sent you into it or if you waded in yourself once you left, but you move like a soldier.”
“I was,” she confirms. “But... but I don’t want to talk about the details. Not until the other two are here.”
He frowns at her. “Is there anything you can talk about?”
She shrugs and looks away, trying to take solace in the warmth of the caff she holds above the table, as if it can hide her, guard her, from the disgraced Mand’alor across the table.
“Jedi?”
“I’m not officially a Jedi,” she says, voice quiet. “Not anymore.”
“Then what do I call you?” he asks. “We’re not exactly close enough for names.”
“Torrent,” she says. “It’s not--I can’t claim my family name anymore. But I can claim Torrent, so I will. And if you want a title, I was a commander.”
“Bit young for that.”
“I got the rank when I was fourteen,” she says, and watches his face do something complicated and unpleasant. “Don’t. I know your own culture puts children on the field that young.”
“Not in command.”
She shrugs. “Yeah, well... the soldiers were technically younger. Adults, but...”
Ahsoka can see the way he casts about to figure out what species grows at that rate. He guesses a few, and she shoots all of it down.
She won’t tell him. Not until Rex is awake.
This part of the story is his.
--------------------------
When Leia tries to sit alone, a foot away on the bench like a proper adult, Ahsoka refuses to let it happen. She pulls the younger girl to her side and quells protests with a glance. It’s a decent skill, but she’s not sure how long it’s going to work on her niece-in-spirit.
“Your body needs the chemical release of skinship,” she says, and Leia glares at her. “I spent way too much time with the boys to not know about this. Deal.”
Rex sits close enough to knock their knees together under the table, and his warmth is the old comfort she needs.
“Do you want the story you’ll believe, or the truth?” Ahsoka asks.
“What’s the difference?”
“One of them involves something so impossible that even most Jedi wouldn’t believe it,” she tells him.
Fett folds his arms and leans forward to rest them on the table, challenging but oddly open. “Try me.”
“Time travel.”
He blinks, just once, fully controlled. “That’s a tough one.”
“There were only three Jedi left alive when I died,” she says. “Or... whatever it is that happened to me. I think I died. All I know is that one moment, I was thirty-two and dying, and the next, I was... seventeen again, and had these two with me. All of us younger than we were. None of us have even been born yet.”
She refuses to look him in the eye. “They both outlived me by... six years, maybe. Got caught up while traveling instead of dying. Leia was twenty-two. Rex was thirty-five. I’m not technically the oldest anymore. I mean, physically I am, but that doesn’t mean anything, and it’s not exactly doing us any good, and--”
Rex bumps his shoulder to her arm. “I dunno, Commander. I’ve spent a long time looking older than I should. Nice to look younger for once.”
She shoots him a small, pained grin. “Could be worse, yeah.”
“Let’s say I believe you.”
Her attention snaps back to Fett, who’s looking damnably blank, and is showing even less in the Force.
He waits a second for her to relax back into her seat.
“Let’s say I believe you,” he repeats. “How’s ‘Rex’ connected to me? What’s so special about Leia there? And what war did you fight in that has you acting like a veteran?”
“Three years in the clone wars,” she whispers, glancing to Rex and forcing herself to not go for her sabers to defend against an attack that her paranoia says is coming and the Force says is not. “Then almost all the Jedi were wiped out at once, and I spent a year... drifting. Then black ops for the next fifteen.”
“Black ops,” he repeats, still damnably flat.
“There was a Sith Empire,” she says, and she can hear her own tone growing somehow emptier. “Glassing planets. Enslaving entire species. Committing genocides all over. Of course, there was a rebellion, and of course I joined it. I was one of the only people left with Jedi training. For all that I’d left the Order, I still had a duty to the universe.”
His eyes flit to Leia, who shrugs and tries to look prim. “I was adopted and raised by one of the founders of the rebellion, a movement built on the desire to instate freedom and democracy in a galaxy that had lost even the pretense.”
“That why you’re special?”
Leia smiles, thin and patronizing. It doesn’t fit on her little face. “I’m special because my biological father was one of the most powerful Force users in history, and his Fall to the dark side and choice to become a Sith is why the Emperor’s rise was nearly uncontested. I do not like power, but it’s in my veins and I can’t change that. Force users are... a lucrative trade, and I’m still the size of a child, so I can’t fight back. I’ll be safer in the Jedi Temple, even if I don’t want to be a Jedi.”
Fett looks to Ahsoka, makes to ask a question, and then shakes his head. Not the time, maybe.
“So, that’s all... very complicated and I don’t know how much of it I believe, but it doesn’t explain...” he trails off, and sighs. “My kid, or whatever you are. I heard you mention clones.”
Rex grins. It is not a kind expression.
“Let me tell you about Kamino.”
---------------------------
Ahsoka has no idea if Fett believes them. Either he thinks they’re telling the truth, or he thinks their delusional kids. Whatever the case, he offers to take them closer to the Core. Ahsoka quietly offers to take a look at his engine in return, and then pretends not to notice when Fett awkwardly drifts to and away from Rex.
“They put chips in our brains to make us kill the Jedi we respected, cared for, even loved. I tried to shoot ‘Soka, Fett. She was seventeen and risked her life to get that chip out of my head while I was trying to kill her. I have never hated myself more than when I woke up and realized what I’d almost done, and I was one of the few that were able to fight it. I heard the stories of dozens of brothers who woke with their chips having degraded and chose to eat their blaster rather than live with the guilt of the orders they’d followed without question because of a thrice-damned Sith slave chip in their head.”
“So no, I won’t call you father or acknowledge you as clan until you do something to prove you’re worth it, shared blood or not.”
What Ahsoka does get out of the arrangement, for all that Fett’s route mostly takes them on a meandering path that isn’t faster than their previous system, is sleep. She gets to rest. She gets to trust that Fett won’t kill Rex, out of guilt for something he hasn’t done, that he won’t kill Leia out of a worry that she’s just a delusional child, a real child, that he won’t kill ‘Sokari’ because it would ruin any chance of gaining Rex’s favor, ever.
She’s not safe, won’t believe she can be until she’s in the Temple and Sidious is dead dead dead, but she’s safer than she’s been in a long time.
Every night, Ahsoka wakes up and stumbles to the little galley, deaths and torture sparkling behind her eyes with the energy of a thousand lost Jedi, ten thousand mourned brothers and sisters.
She is not the only one of their little group to be a survivor of a near-total genocide, but Rex could not feel his brothers die in the Force, even if his nightmares featured what they heard of suicide missions by the emperor’s favored shock troopers, and Leia had... Alderaan had more off-world survivors than there had been Jedi at all.
It’s not worth comparing their pain. It’s stupid to even think it. Part of her can’t help but do it anyway.
“Caf?”
She feels a lek twitch in response to the voice of the only other person on board who can reach the top shelf. “I probably shouldn’t.”
“Whiskey?”
“That’s a definitely shouldn’t.”
“Hoth chocolate?”
“...please.”
She doesn’t lift her head from her arms until the mug clicks down in front of her, ceramic on plastisteel.
“Do I ask what it was this time?”
She shrugs. “It’s hard to explain to non-sensitives.”
“Try me anyway.”
Ahsoka twists the Hoth chocolate in her hands, takes a sip as she thinks. “The Force isn’t just one thing. It’s... energy and philosophy and spirit, a sense of being that ties the entire universe together. Sentient and inanimate and living and dead, empty space and lush forests and stifled cities. For those of us who are sensitive to it, it’s possible to feel the life of everyone around you, theoretically possible to feel entire systems. If you have a Force bond, like a master and padawan, that can stretch across planets, even systems if one or both are particularly powerful.
“So just... just imagine, for a moment, what it’s like to feel the screaming of all those Jedi in the Force as their trusted men shot them down.
“Some of them were close enough that I could feel them die,” she manages. “I... it’s horrible. It’s horrific. It’s not something I can ever forget, and I want to. I want to forget what that moment was like. Not that it happened, but...”
She can feel the tears. Fuck..
“You want to dull the edges.”
“Don’t we all?” she asks, scrubbing the back of her hand across her eyes. “Leia lost her entire planet, billions of people, and she was forced to watch. Rex... Force, I can barely imagine, and I was there for most of it.”
Fett watches her, measuring. “From what he said, they were as much your brothers as his, by the end.”
“No,” she immediately denies. “They could have been, maybe, but the ones I was closest to died earlier, and then I left, and by the time the Empire rose, all but a handful were... no. Rex, I will claim as a brother in all the ways that matter, but I don’t get to do that with the rest. I don’t have the right.”
“You’re hard on yourself.”
“Fate of the galaxy, my good bitch. Guess who’s got it on her shoulders.”
He snorts at her, and nods at the mug. “Drink your Hoth chocolate. We’re landing in eight hours, and you’ve got kids to look out for.”
---------------------------
There’s a twitch in the Force when they land, something pulling at her in a way she barely feels. She’s had her shields up so fully for so long that it’s natural to hide away what she is to the point where she can hardly tell what anyone else is, either. It takes more than a moment to remember how to let herself spread out across the world.
“Auntie ‘Soka? Why’d you stop?”
She doesn’t have an answer to Leia’s prodding question. “I don’t know.”
It’s almost familiar. Old and half-forgotten, not the same as what she remembers, but--
“This way,” she says, and wanders off into the crowd. Leia and Rex follow without question. Fett curses and rushes through the rest of his transaction with the docking attendant. The sound of him jogging after them is almost funny, with the armor, but she can’t focus on that.
Ahsoka slips between people with the ease of a career built on such a habit, children trailing like ducklings. She knows this feeling, she knows this person, what is she missi--
“Oh,” she breathes, going stock still. She knows that face. She knows those braids. She even knows the presence.
Younger than Ahsoka had ever seen her, but unmistakably Master Billaba.
“Torrent, what the hell?” Fett demands, finally catching up. “You can’t just run off like that!”
“It’s Depa,” she says, eyes still fixed on the woman parsing through a datapad with an irritated vendor. She has a padawan braid. It doesn’t feel like Master Windu is on-planet, so this might be a solo mission, a... oh. Senior Padawan, Knight Elect. This is the kind of mission taken to test if she’s ready to be promoted.
Ahsoka feels light-headed.
Fett waits for her to elaborate, but she can’t. This was Kanan’s master. This was a member of the High Council. This was a woman who died and--
“You need to sit down,” Fett says, not a touch gruff. He puts a hand on her shoulder and guides her off the main walkway. “I’m... going to talk to the woman in the Jedi robes. You three just stay there and don’t get kidnapped.”
Ahsoka nods, feeling like she’s not quite inhabiting her own body.
It’s Depa.
Her eyes track Fett without conscious control, and her montrals pick up the sound.
Depa looks up when the armor comes close enough, free hand tensed in a way that says she’s preventing herself from reaching for a saber in reaction to the heavily-armored individual standing several feet away.
“Mando,” the woman says. “May I help you?”
“Are you Depa?”
Depa doesn’t do anything so dramatic as gape or step back, but she does blink rapidly for a moment. She then folds her hands down in front of her, drawing her spine up ramrod straight. “I am Jedi Padawan Depa Billaba, yes. May I ask why it is that you need to know?”
Ahsoka imagines Fett grimacing, or rolling his eyes, or maybe dithering. She can’t tell from this angle, and he has a helmet on besides. It turns his awkward silences into judgmental ones.
“I’ve had some Jedi kids on my ship, hitching a ride,” he says at length. “One of them recognized you and then just... froze.”
“You have our younglings in your care,” Depa says, carefully not accusatory, but close enough to be a warning.
“Not quite,” he says. “The one that actually came from the temple is seventeen. One of ‘em isn’t Force Sensitive, and the last one is but hasn’t been to Coruscant before. They’re trying to get the little one to the Temple for her own safety.”
Depa considers that, and then passes the datapad to the vendor. “Lead on.”
It’s surprisingly simple, really. Fett did all the talking.
And then Depa is standing right in front of her.
“Like I said,” Fett sighs. “She froze up.”
“Hello,” Depa says, hands laced together inside her sleeves. “I don’t believe we’ve met.”
Ahsoka shakes her head. “I know of you. I’ve seen you spar. You’ve never spoken to me.”
All true. A little misleading, but it’s fine, it’s all fine.
Depa waits a moment, and then says, “You seem to have me at a disadvantage. You know my name, but I don’t know yours.”
“Sokari T-Torrent,” she manages. The words feel clunky in her mouth, the sound abrasive for all that it’s just her own voice, no different from usual. A little shaky, maybe. She can feel a cool breeze on her upper arms. Shouldn’t she have armor? She should have armor. “It... it’s been a long time since I’ve seen another Jedi. I’m having a hard time believing you’re real.”
“I see,” Depa says. “Perhaps we should take this somewhere more private? You seem a little unsteady.”
Ahsoka lets herself be led back to the ship, in the company of Mand’alor Jango Fett, Jedi Padawan Depa Billaba, Princess-General Leia Organa, and good old Captain Rex.
It’s like the start of a sick joke.
---------------------------
Fett and Depa talk where she can hear, but they rarely address her directly. Both seem to realize that she’s not particularly useful right now. Leia and Rex are pressing up against her at the little table in the galley, and Ahsoka lets them.
This is real. She can feel Depa in the Force, recognizes her energy even if it’s not quite what it will-was-could-have-been. This is happening.
It’s a textbook Traumatic Stress Response case, one of them says.
Fett has his helmet off. Ahsoka’s sure that’s wrong for some reason. She thinks he might already be on wanted lists. Should she worry about Depa trying to arrest him?
Depa asks about Rex at one point. Fett tells her that someone cloned him without his knowing, but the kid is more comfortable with Ahsoka so they’re still working on what that means for him.
It’s more or less true. Rex squeezes her hand the one time someone suggests separating them. She’s not letting that happen unless Rex wants to leave for whatever reason. They’ve worked apart before. They can do it again.
“Auntie Soka? You’re shivering.”
Is she?
Leia cuddles in closer, and Ahsoka runs a hand over her hair. It’s an absentminded motion, and for all that she knows Leia’s hair is fine as silk, it feels like plastic in the moment.
“I don’t think I’m okay,” Ahsoka announces. The words hang in the air like lead balloons, and she can feel Depa staring at her. “I haven’t been for a very long time.”
“Yeah, we noticed,” Fett says. “Do you need to lay down, Torrent?”
Does she?
“No,” she says. “I... I don’t know what I need.”
“The spicy drink,” Rex tells them. “It’s grounding.”
Right. That.
Fett goes to grab it, and Depa continues to watch.
“How long ago did you leave your master?” Depa asks. “Or... did he die?”
Ahsoka closes her eyes and shakes her head. She can feel the shivers now, tremors in her biceps and a shudder she can’t control in the height of her ribcage. Her teeth grind together, jaw like stone.
“You don’t have to answer that,” Depa assures her. “I’m... going to recommend you see a mind healer on Coruscant.”
That was a forgone conclusion.
A cup clinks onto the table. Fett’s back. “Drink.”
She does.
Depa and Fett continue discussing it as “the adults” at the table. She’s older than both of them. Rex is older than all of them. Ahsoka follows about half of what they say. She agrees with most of it. Rex bullies his way into speaking when she doesn’t, without her even asking, because he knows her mind as well as she does. Fett rolls with it. Depa lets him.
She’s going to reach out to the Temple and see about getting them a ride back to Imperial Center Coruscant.
Fett makes Soka go to bed, taking Leia with her.
---------------------------
She feels more like a person come morning.
Depa’s sitting at the table, datapad in her hands and caff on the table in front of her.
“Good morning,” Ahsoka says, rough and croaking, and Depa’s eyes flick up to meet hers. She nods a shallow hello.
“Feeling better?”
“Much,” Ahsoka says, and goes about gathering a breakfast. There’s definitely some dried meat in here. She can get something fresh when they stop by the market later.
“I was hoping to speak with you about your options,” Depa tells her, once she’s sat at the table. “Fett and your friend Rex took care of most of the negotiation, and I feel like I have an idea of what would work best for you.”
Ahsoka nods slowly. “Okay.”
“There is a Master-Padawan pair a few planets away,” Depa says. “The Council informed me when I spoke with them about you and your wards. They’d be headed back to the Temple in a few days anyway, and the Council has agreed to extend an offer to Fett to handle the transportation. The presence of a Jedi Master on board will allow for him to get in and out of the Core unmolested, and we’d like for you and yours to have a Jedi escort, given what happened yesterday afternoon.”
Her complete spiral into nonbeing?
“I understand,” she says instead. “I suppose Fett agreed because he’s still trying to get Rex to like him?”
Depa shrugs. “That part isn’t my business.”
Of course it isn’t.
“Rex can stay with me for a while, right?” Ahsoka finally asks. “I know it’s not exactly protocol, but I’m...”
“In need of a support system until you’ve seen a mind healer, and against all odds, the child is part of it,” Depa summarizes. “Yes, I recognized as much. I think the Council will be able to allow some leeway there. I don’t know if he’ll enjoy it, given that all the others his age are Initiates, but we can adjust as necessary. On that note... Do you know Leia’s midichlorian count?”
“No,” Ahsoka says, and hesitantly adds, “But her biological father was my Jedi Master, and I’m told his count broke records even as a child. Given what Leia’s shown so far... it’s why I’ve been in a hurry to get her to the Temple.”
Depa frowns at her, clearly working through the implications of a Jedi having a daughter and still teaching... and then visibly dismisses the situation, eyes closing to breathe in the steam of her caff.
Biological father certainly implies a child that was raised by her mother or adopted out so the Jedi father could remain in their chosen career without a conflict of interest or duty.
She’ll tell the council the truth, or... at least Master Koon. Master Kenobi is still a padawan, but she can tell Master Koon.
She already told Jango Fett, of all people.
“Padawan Torrent?”
Her head snaps up. She hasn’t been a padawan in over fifteen years. It’s weird to hear. “I’m sorry, what?”
“I asked if you wanted some time to think it over before I presented the offer to Fett,” Depa says.
Ahsoka gets the distinct feeling that Depa is planning a report to the Council that has ‘needs a mind healer’ underlined at least three times.
“No, I’m--I’m fine. That sounds like a good plan.”
“I’ll speak with him, then. Would you like to come with?”
"No, thank you.”
---------------------------
Fett agrees. Ahsoka’s pretty sure it’s all to do with Rex and maybe Leia. It’s probably nothing to do with ‘Sokari.’ She’s a Jedi, an adult in mind and in body, or at least close enough to count. She’s a damn sight more ‘enemy’ to Fett than the other two are. Not as much as Depa, maybe, but Fett’s been playing nice with her for Leia’s sake.
He plays nice with Ahsoka for Rex’s. That’s all.
They’re only a few planets over from the meeting point, and they have a few days to hang around before the escort meets them. Depa hadn’t given them a name--apparently it could have compromised the opsec for the Jedi team--but Ahsoka’s pretty sure she’ll be able to identify almost anyone. She gets the feeling that the Force is going to send her a familiar face, just as it did Master Padawan Billaba.
Ahsoka lets herself feel the world around her. It’s dark and dreary, in the sense that the beaten-down port is full of petty crimes and less petty horrors, but it’s still lighter than most of the Empire had been. She sneaks away from the ship at night, ignoring Fett at her back, and performs a bit of vigilante justice while she can. She’ll be banned from doing so as soon as she’s reinstated as a Jedi, probably, but for now... for now, she can look at the drug cartels and ‘they’re not slaves, really’ workers and do something to help.
She doesn’t use her sabers. She doesn’t need to. It’s been a long time since she has, for small fry like these.
“What are you doing?” Fett asks her, landing heavily behind her back.
“Chip removal,” she says, hand pressed to the slave’s leg. Her eyes are closed, but she can hear him shifting. “Let me concentrate, I don’t have a meddroid for this.”
He’s silent until she finishes, and waits until the people she’s helped are on their way to the planet’s freedom routes. He doesn’t ask what she did with the owners.
“You’ve done this before.”
“Regularly,” she confirms. “You?”
He doesn’t answer that, just ambles over to the the chains and stares down at them.
“Fett?”
“You go through this like it’s as easy as breathing,” he says. “It’s... impressive.”
“I guess?” she hesitates to continue. “I’m... I don’t think of it that way. This is the easy stuff. A time-waster that helps people. If I wanted to help for real, I’d been going after Jabba or Sidious or--”
“How old were you?” he asks, turning on his heel to face her dead-on. The vocoder of his helmet pulls the emotion from his voice. “When did this... these missions, the slavery battles, when did that start for you?”
“Fourteen,” she says. She’s not entirely sure, really, what counted as a mission for ending slavery and what counted as just a part of war, but she can round down. “Maybe fifteen. It’s a bit of a blur.”
“And you just kept doing it.”
“Of course,” she says. “If I have the time and the energy, if I need to do something and there’s nothing official on my hands, why not?”
He doesn’t answer her.
---------------------------
Rex greets them before she does.
Ahsoka, in her defense, is asleep at the time. It’s a restless sleep, but it’s enough that she doesn’t sense the nearing Force signatures until they’re almost at the ship.
She recognizes one of them.
“Auntie ‘Soka?” Leia questions, when she lurches to her feet and starts pulling on her boots with all the energy of a zombie. “Where are you going?”
“Jedi,” Ahsoka grunts. “Here.”
“I see.”
Leia dresses to follow her, in a little coat that’ll withstand the chill of the outside air, and Ahsoka makes it to the cargo hold just in time to hear Rex saying, “I’m not shaking your hand until you put your gloves on, Vos.”
She laughs to herself, breathless with the knowledge of what she’s about to find. She jumps the railing of the upper walkway, drops down just in front of the Master-Padawan team, and keeps her back to Fett and Rex. “Hello, there.”
One human, one Kiffar. She knows the latter.
“Would you be Sokari Torrent?” the Master asks.
“I am,” she says, with a slight bow. She can tell there’s a bit of judgement for how she’s dressed, but they’re covering it well. A Shadow and his trainee know the value of armor better than most Jedi bother with. “I’m afraid Padawan Billaba didn’t inform me of your names before we met.”
“And yet your friend knew my padawan,” the Master says.
“By reputation,” she says, as smoothly as she can. “I’ve encountered Quinlan Vos before, though I doubt he remembers--”
“I’d remember someone like you,” Quinlan interrupts, with a grin she’s sure is meant to be charming and rogueish.
He’s... very young for her, and not her type. Mostly, she wants to pat him on the head, but that probably wouldn’t go over very well. She still looks like she’s younger than him.
“Anyway,” she says, turning back to the master, “I’m afraid I still don’t know who you are, Master.”
“I am Tholme,” he says, with the bow that a Master gives a Padawan. She feels a little slighted, but it’s fine. She looks the right age, it’s fine.
It’s not like they know.
“It’s nice to meet you, Master Tholme,” she says. “My charges are Rex Torrent, the young man behind me, and currently coming down the ladder is Leia Antilles. I’m sure you’re aware of Jango Fett.”
“The Mand’alor,” Quinlan volunteers, and Ahsoka can almost hear Fett’s teeth grinding.
“Don’t call me that,” he says. She’s sure he’s got a hand drifting for his blaster.
“There isn’t a whole lot of room on the ship,” she says before the men can get into whatever weird contest she’s sure someone might start. Her bet’s on Fett. “But Leia and Rex are small enough to share with me, so I’m sure we can make it work.”
“There’s spare rolls for anyone comfortable with sleeping in the hold,” Fett grunts. “Or on the floor in the passenger room.”
“Well, I guess I could ask for a little help fi--”
“Vos,” Ahsoka snaps, letting her voice take on the kind of ‘obey me or get fresher duty’ irritation that she’d perfected back when the rebellion still had her managing people, before they’d realized she was more use in the field. “Do not.”
There’s a moment’s pause, and Tholme looks unimpressed with that raised eyebrow, but the kind of unimpressed that’s split between his own padawan and the stranger before him.
“Um,” Quinlan says. “I just--”
“No,” she cuts him off. “No flirting.”
It’s weird and uncomfortable and she’d have maybe been okay with it if she was actually the seventeen-or-eighteen-ish(?) that she looked, but she’s not. She’s in her thirties and Vos is... what, twenty? Twenty-one? No.
He stares at her, and she wonders momentarily if she’d gone too far in the direction of judging his intentions in the Force and preempted actual flirtations.
“I’m sorry?” He offers, looking confused, but ashamed. “I, uh, I’ll keep that in mind.”
She definitely preempted the actual flirtation.
Fuck.
Ahsoka closes her eyes and breathes in. Breathes out. Opens her eyes. “Right. That was... I’m not sure how much Padawan Billaba told you about me.”
“Enough,” Tholme says. He moves forward and puts a hand on Quinlan’s shoulder. Ahsoka has no idea if it’s to comfort him or hold him back. “I didn’t share most of it with my padawan, but I have a general understanding of what’s going on.”
Quinlan darts a look at his teacher, but Ahsoka doesn’t acknowledge it. It’s fine. Everything is fine.
“Thank you for your understanding,” she says, and bows, and stiffly turns away to walk to the galley.
---------------------------
Leia squirms into the bench seat, shoving her way under Ahsoka’s arm like a particularly wriggly tooka.
“What was that?” Leia demands, the authority of a rebellion general rather useless in the squeaky voice of a child.
“What was what?”
“The whole thing with Padawan Vos,” Leia says. “You blew up at him before he even did anything.”
That’s pretty true.
“I felt the flirtation coming before it happened and reacted inappropriately because I panicked. I’m significantly older than him, but I can’t tell him that, so it’s just awkward and uncomfortable and... I’m not okay, Princess. I haven’t been for a long time.”
“Yeah, we can tell.”
“Leia.”
“What? I need therapy too! Captain Rex needs therapy! I’m pretty sure Fett needs therapy! You, Fulcrum, you really need therapy. None of us are okay.” She huffs, wiggling impossibly closer. “I don’t like it, but it’s true.”
“I know,” Ahsoka groans. “I just... I just need to hold out until the Temple.”
“Will you be able to hold it together if you see someone you actually care about?” Leia demands. “What are you going to do when you see Kenobi?”
“Stop.”
“I’m serious, you--”
“Leia, that’s enough,” she snaps. “I was fighting that war before you were even born, and I’ve dealt with the consequences since. I know the risks and I’ll thank you to remember who taught you to control your own mind.”
Leia stiffens, sucking in a sharp breath. “That was uncalled for.”
“You’re not the child you appear to be,” Ahsoka reminds her, not a little sharply. “You want to dish it out, be ready to take it. What will you do when we see Bail Organa? When we see the toddler that is Anakin Skywalker?”
“I get it.”
“I’m not sure you do,” Ahsoka mutters. She isn’t surprised when Leia ducks out of the embrace and leaves the galley. She lets the girl go, guilt warring with the memory of how Master Kenobi had more than once spoken that way to Anakin at the height of the war. The fact that she’s an adult in the body of a child isn’t an excuse for poking at Ahsoka’s open wounds. It was cruel and unnecessary, and unbecoming of a... not a Jedi. A princess. A politician.
She rests her head on her arms and zones out. She should meditate, but that seems like... too much effort.
She can feel Vos and Tholme setting up in the room they’ve been assigned. Neither seems particularly angry. Most likely, Tholme’s given the absolute shortest explanation of ‘child soldier, dead master, highly traumatized and emotionally unstable’ to Vos to smooth over the incident in the cargo hold. Rex is with Leia; he’s agitated, but less so than Leia herself. Fett’s annoyed, in the cockpit, but he seems annoyed as often as not. There’s a shudder at lift-off, and a few minutes later, they’re in hyperspace, headed for the Core.
Fett finds her, falls into the other bench in full armor, and drops his elbows onto the table. The helmet clunks down a moment later.
She doesn’t lift her head. “What do you want?”
“Do I need to keep Vos away from you?”
“What?”
“Vos. He made you uncomfortable. Was that him being someone that hurt you in the future, or just the interaction being awkward?”
She lifts her head. She stares at him. “What?”
He leans back and crosses his arms. “Do you need me to tell Vos to stay the hell away from you?”
She’s gaping. “You realize I’m thirty-two, right? I can handle my own battles.”
“You’re also traumatized as hell and everyone can see it,” Fett argues back. “If Vos himself is a trigger, I can handle it.”
“He’s not,” she tells him. This is strange. Fett’s being strange. “He was actually a friend of my grandmaster’s. I’m just uncomfortable with the flirting because I’m a lot older than he realizes, and I can’t tell him that.”
He nods sharply, and then looks away. The silence sits.
“Thanks for asking?” Ahsoka says, well aware of how her confusion over the offer turns it into a question. “I mean, thank you for... caring.”
I guess, she finishes in the privacy of her own head. Or at least pretending to.
Fett makes a face, still not facing her. He eyes the galley instead. She can guess where his thoughts are going. The galley is... not very big, especially with six people on board instead of one, but she’s sure they’ve stocked up enough. On the off chance they do go through more than expected, because of how many growing bodies are in residence, they can stop off and buy more. They have those resources now.
Jango never does ask what she did with the slavers.
“Who’s going to cry if I spice things properly?” he asks.
“Probably Leia,” she says immediately. “Vos will try to power through it even though he’s going to be overwhelmed. No idea about Tholme, but I think he’ll keep a straight face whether he likes it or not. Rex and I are fine, ‘hot’ was pretty much the only flavor of seasoning the GAR had.”
“GAR?”
“Grand Army of the Republic.”
He finally looks at her.
“You already knew I was a child soldier, Fett; don’t act surprised.”
“That doesn’t mean I like hearing about it.”
“I was fourteen. That’s old enough by Mando standards, Fett. Just think back, when did you get on the battlefield?”
“I take your point,” he says, lip curling unpleasantly. “It just hits different now that I’m old enough to look back and think of how damned young fourteen really is.”
Ahsoka shrugs. “Yeah, well--”
“You said the clones were ten.”
There’s the rub, isn’t it?
Of course it was about the clones.
“...closer to seven, by the end. Kamino was just making speedies at that point. Triple growth on the average instead of double, but averages in that case meant they’d been growing at double rates for six years and then got forced through four growth cycles in a single year to beef up the army when we kept losing men.” She looks down at the table, picking at a scratch in the plastipaint with her nail. “Rex and the rest of the ones from the beginning were basically twenty in mind and body, even if they’d only been decanted ten years earlier. The speedies... I always wondered. They’d gone from functionally twelve to functionally twenty in a year. That’s not... even in Kamino, that can’t have been normal. They didn’t act like adults, not the way the originals did.”
Fett rubs at his face, groaning. He swears under his breath in three different languages.
She pities him, if only because he hasn’t actually done any of this yet. He’s paying for the crimes of a man he likely won’t ever become.
She kicks him under the table. “Wanna make tiingilar and see how long it takes Vos to start crying while he insists it’s fine?”
---------------------------
Dinner is when the questions start. Some are relatively easy. Others, not so much.
“My Master was Leia’s biological father,” is an easy truth to share. “She inherited his power, so I need to get her to the temple for her own safety, because home no longer is.”
“Yes, her adoptive parents were unfortunately killed rather recently. We’d prefer not to talk about it.”
“Rex is with me. Where he goes, I go, and vice versa.”
That one gets her an odd look.
“I thought...” Quinlan trails off, gesturing between Rex and Fett.
Fett keeps his face impassive, but his discomfort and guilt leak into the Force. “I didn’t know Rex existed until I ran into these three in a spaceport cantina a few weeks ago.”
Quinlan blinks at him, looks at Rex again, and then turns back to Fett with a grin that might have been described as ‘saucy’ if he were less smug about it. “Wild oats, huh?”
“Are you shitting me right now,” Leia whispers, and Ahsoka elbows her.
“That was inappropriate, padawan.”
Quinlan’s grin fades as Fett just continues to eye him.
“Um, so--”
“How old is the kid?” Fett interrupts.
Darting eyes answer him, as Quinlan tries to gauge Rex. “Ten? Maybe twelve?”
“And how old am I?”
“...early thirties?”
“I’m twenty-seven.”
Quinlan’s grin fades further as he does the math.
“I’d have been between fifteen and seventeen when he was born,” Fett says, tone flat. “Between fourteen and sixteen at conception. I know damn well I wasn’t doing anything that could have resulted in a kid at that age.”
Quinlan rallies. “So, brothers?”
Tholme sighs loudly, hand over his eyes.
“I’m a clone,” Rex says, and Ahsoka can feel the amusement he gets out of Quinlan’s confused shock. They’d both had plenty of respect for Master Vos, but Padawan Vos was nothing but trouble. “Harvested genetic material, grown in a tube, inconsistent aging meaning I don’t even know how old I am for sure.”
“I broke him out,” Ahsoka adds, which is half true.
“There was a chip in my head,” Rex adds, with a bright smile. Quinlan’s discomfort grows. “She got it out. Also, lots of brothers. None of them are... around anymore. The creators were trying to make an army.”
Vos and Tholme have no response. Fett looks like he’s been carved out of stone. Leia’s just ignoring them and picking at her food.
Ahsoka lifts a hand and, without looking, Rex high-fives her.
---------------------------
“Drop your elbow.”
Ahsoka tries to cover her smile at the dirty look that Leia shoots Fett. Fett remains unimpressed by the glare of royalty, just gestures for the girl to do as he said.
“I know how to fight,” Leia grumbles. “I took lessons. I was good at them.”
“And I’m better,” Fett says, leaving no room for argument. “You want the Torrents to take over?”
The Torrents. Rex and Soka. She likes being referred to that way. Like they’re a team that never got split up.
Force, she wished they’d never gotten split up.
“Again,” Fett orders, and Leia moves through the Mandalorian kata with ill grace in her emotions and all grace in her sweeping limbs.
Well, as much grace as an undersized six-year-old can, at any rate.
“Think he’ll ask me to spar her again?” Rex asks, dropping down into the seat next to Ahsoka and passing her a drink.
“Maybe,” she acknowledges. “I think he’s wondering if it’s worth asking Vos to spar with her, so she gets more experience with size differences.”
“Hm?”
“She flinched at his face again,” she tells him. “The whole... thing with Boba, I guess. She still won’t tell me why Fett triggers her sometimes, but he’s not pressing her to spar with him, and there’s only so much she can get out of fighting me. Asking Tholme would be presumptuous, but Vos is just a padawan. I think it’d work out.”
“And you?”
She looks at him, already feeling a cresting wave of bullshit she doesn’t want to deal with. “What about me?”
“Are you going to spar with the Jedi?”
She should. She hasn’t sparred with a saber since she got tossed back into a body only half-familiar to her. She’s let Leia borrow the shorter one to learn some basic blocking moves, Shii-Cho and then, with hesitance, the first Soresu form. Another time, she loaned it to Rex to practice some attacks; they both know that the next time he picks up her saber in battle, having lost his weapons or she her grip, it will be neither the first or last time he wields a sword of light. None of that, however, is... sparring.
None of that is against someone who knows what they’re doing.
How long has it been since she sparred with anyone other than Kanan and Ezra?
How long has it been since she sparred without the looming specter of Darth Vader in the back of her mind, without fear of the Inquisitors, without the knowledge that any saber held by someone other than her two friends would be red as blood and twice as drenched.
Would she be able to hold back as she fought?
“I should,” she acknowledges, eyes on where Fett is nudging Leia’s feet into position for some kind of leveraging flip. She’s so small. “It would probably be a good idea to spar against a master at some point.”
“Do you think you can?” Rex asks.
“I never knew him,” she says. “And he isn’t Dark. It should be fine.”
Rex nods, taking her word for it. They watch as Leia stumbles on a final move, and Fett gestures for her to sit down and get a drink.
“That man is a terror,” she informs them.
(She’d once described him as a slave-driver. She had not made that mistake twice.)
“Least it’s not Kamino!” Rex tells her cheerfully. When Leia refuses to look impressed, he laughs at her.
Ahsoka has a half-second’s warning before heavy boots thud to the ground next to her. “What’s Kamino?”
“Hello, Vos, it’s nice to see you too,” she drawls. “I’m good, thanks for asking, and yourself?”
The boy-not-quite-man rolls his eyes. “Hi, Torrents; hi, tiny one.”
Leia glares at him next.
“So, Kamino?”
“Planet by Rishi,” Rex says.
“Why were you there?”
“They specialize in cloning.”
Ahsoka covers her mouth as the conversation drops into the same awkward gap that always happens when Quinlan stumbles into a subject he didn’t know to avoid.
“Like... you were made there, or you were researching how it works for your own--”
Ahsoka slaps a hand over his mouth. “Now’s a great time to stop talking.”
He licks her palm.
She bares her teeth and arches her fingers just enough to press nails into his cheek.
He bites at her palm, and she yanks her hand away.
“You’re all children,” Leia accuses, conveniently forgetting that Ahsoka and Rex are both over a decade older than her.
“I can throw you the length of a swimming pool,” Ahsoka tells her. “One of the fancy competition-ready ones that would make a Tatooinian cry. You are absolutely the child here.”
“Using the Force is cheating, sir,” Rex informs her.
“Only if there’s a competition,” Ahsoka shoots back. “And proving that a certain princess is a small child is not a competition. It’s a declarative fact.”
“I’m going to rip open the seams on all your tops except the ugliest one,” Leia decides.
“Try me,” Ahsoka challenges. “Adi’ka.”
A low, rough cough interrupts them. “Are you done?”
Fett has his arms crossed, and an eyebrow raised. He knows they’re all adults here, and is entirely unamused. As the silence drags, the eyebrow climbs a little higher.
“Done with what?” Quinlan finally asks, thereby volunteering himself to spar in hand-to-hand with Jango Fett, as one does.
“Poor, poor Vos,” Rex laughs, watching as Fett barks out orders at Quinlan every five seconds to fix his footwork, to stop dropping his guard, to stop wasting energy on flips instead of just dodging the easy way.
“Throw him!” Ahsoka calls. To her delight, Fett obliges.
The thing is, Quinlan isn’t bad at brawling. He’s got training, endurance, skill. The man knows what he’s doing, objectively. He’s just not a match for Fett, and is used enough to relying on his saber that his hand-to-hand skills are rusty. They are perhaps less rusty than those Jedi who don’t take questionable jobs in the Mid-Outer Rim, and Ahsoka’s got a suspicion that Vos regularly gets into bar fights in his downtime, but none of that is enough for him to actually do more than survive against Fett without his saber.
Even the saber wouldn’t help, if Fett had his armor.
“Whose idea was this?”
Ahsoka cranes her head back and smiles. “Hello, Master Tholme. Vos... volunteered.”
“Did he know he was volunteering?”
“No comment.”
Tholme snorts, crossing his arms and eyeing the spar in front of him. “I thought Fett hated Jedi. Giving us a ride for the sake of you three is one thing, but why is he teaching my padawan?”
Ahsoka shrugs. “Constructive bullying?”
There’s a small twitch of a smile, quickly gone. “He said something wrong, I’m guessing?”
“There was no way he could have known,” she dismisses. “We’re just, like, ninety-percent tragic backstories.”
“You’d think the Force would warn him,” Rex notes.
“That’s not how the Force works,” Leia chides.
“No, no, he’s right,” Ahsoka corrects. “The Force does sometimes step in to stop a person from saying something stupid. However, Padawan Vos is at an age where people think they are very rational while being more irrational than they likely ever will be again.”
“Do I want to ask what you were doing at that age?” Tholme asks.
“Running bla...” she trails off, then whips around to gape at him.
He smiles, bland and unassuming. “Does Fett know?”
“Know... what?” Ahsoka asks.
“That you’re significantly older than you look,” he says, voice just low enough that the sparring duo can’t hear him. “All three of you.”
Ahsoka turns back to the spar, only catching Tholme out of the corner of her eye. “He knows.”
“Mm. Were you planning on telling the Council?”
“Yes.” That part was never in question. “How did you figure it out?”
“I am a good investigator,” he says. “And you rely a little too heavily on your physical forms to obfuscate. Were it just one of you, that wouldn’t be a problem, but the pattern repeated across three is a little easier to discern.”
“I hoped the whole ‘child soldiers’ thing would be a bigger distraction,” Ahsoka mutters. She glances at Leia and Rex. Both of them are used to being in charge to some degree, giving orders and making contingency plans, but in this... in this, Ahsoka is in charge. They’d decided that at the very start. It didn’t matter that Rex had lived longer and had more experience, or that Leia had held the highest Rebellion rank of the three of them. Ahsoka had been agreed as leader, and they were relying on her.
They’re waiting on her orders. Stiff and unhappy, in Leia’s case, but they trust her.
“Will you be telling Vos?” She asks.
“No,” Tholme says. “Your secrets remain your own unless they endanger us, and I’ve a feeling they won’t be.”
“Don’t be so sure,” Rex jokes, smile not reaching his eyes. “I’ve been working with this family for too long to trust that trouble won’t find them around the next corner.”
“This family?” Tholme repeats.
“Sokari was telling the truth about her master being Leia’s biological father,” Rex says. He shrugs. “I worked with him, with his wife, with both of his kids, with his master and his padawan. All of them, to a one, are trouble magnets.”
“Ah, but that’s not the secret that’s putting us in danger,” Tholme points out. “Simply existence as a Jedi.”
Rex shrugs. “Fair enough. Don’t say I didn’t warn you, though.”
Ahsoka lurches to her feet, turning with a smile and dancing backward into the the stretch of empty cargo hold they used for such things. “A spar, Master Tholme?”
He looks past her, to Quinlan, and raises a brow. “Would you not prefer to spar with someone a little closer to your level first?”
She barks out a laugh. “Master Tholme, I’m afraid I’ve spent more of my life fighting to survive than having normal friendly spars. My style is more lethal than the average, and you’ve already seen what war’s done to my mind. I ask to spar with you because, if I lose control, if I slip in time or react on an instinct that isn’t appropriate, I trust that you’ll be more able to stop me than a senior padawan.”
He smiles. “Yes, I gathered as much. Still, better to ask. Shall we wait for them to finish up?”
Ahsoka shrugs, turns, and yells. “Clear the deck!”
Rex snorts behind her, and lowly mutters, “Sir, yes, sir.”
She smirks at him over her shoulder. “At ease, Captain.”
“That’s ‘Commander’ to you, I got promoted,” he sniffs, chin held high.
Heavy steps herald Fett’s arrival at their little group. “The hells are you doing?”
“I’m going to have a spar with a Jedi Master, and I want you and Vos to not get stabbed.”
“I’m not that easy to injure in an actual fight, let alone by accident,” Fett grouses. He looks up and over at Vos, who is already significantly taller, if a fair shot less built. “This one, on the other hand...”
“Hey!”
Ahsoka laughs and backs into the center of the cargo hold, drawing her sabers. “Don’t worry, Vos, I won’t play dirty. You’ll probably get your master back in one piece.”
He wrinkles his nose at her. “Getting a bit ahead of yourself there, aren’t you? He’s a Jedi Master and former Watchman. You’re... what, eighteen?”
Ahsoka raises a brow and activates her sabers, tapping the blades together and watching as more than one person winces. “Wanna bet on how long I last?”
“No,” he says immediately, stepping back to join Rex on the bench. “You’ve already blindsided me enough. I’m not dumb enough to fall for whatever you’ve got up your sleeve.”
“I don’t have sleeves.”
“Armwarmers-slash-greaves, then.”
“Greaves go on the legs, these are vambraces.”
He throws his hands up in the air. “I’m just going to stop talking now!”
“Good plan,” Leia snarks, and then literally hisses when Rex ruffles her hair.
Tholme lights his saber and sinks into an opening stance.
Ahsoka mirrors him.
---------------------------
She wins, but barely. She's had a few weeks to practice her forms, has sparred hands-only with Rex and Fett, but this is her first real try at using her sabers against a person, instead of a blaster or thin air, since she arrived in the past. She’s only mostly adjusted to her body.
But Tholme is a healer and a watchman, not a duelist. Ahsoka held her own against Ventress, against Grievous, against Maul when she was this age. Still adjusting to her body or not, her lineage is one of battle, and it bled true.
“You’re terrifying,” Quinlan tells her after they’re done, smiling like the sun as he hands her a towel. “Please never turn that on me.”
She laughs at him. “Would you believe that I’m out of practice?”
“Out of practice with what?” he asks, horrified and fascinated. “Fighting Sith Lords?”
“Among other things,” she says, and smirks when he chokes on his drink. “Multiple darkside users who claimed to be Sith, at least. One being a full Lord, one that was disowned by his master, and one that was apprenticed to a Banite apprentice, so she wasn’t technically allowed to be a Darth because of the rule of two.”
Tholme meets her eyes past Quinlan’s shoulder, head tilted and eyes half-shut in consideration. He’s taking her seriously. He knows what she’s not saying.
“How...” Quinlan trails off and shakes his head. “You know what, no. Asking you people questions never ends well.”
“Good plan,” Ahsoka says, clapping a hand down on his shoulder. “Also, you need to spar with Fett more. Your footwork is shit.”
“It is not,” Quinlan gripes. “You’re all just scary good at this stuff.”
“You mean surviving?” Leia pipes up, and smiles innocently when Quinlan turns to pout at her.
“You’re getting bullied by a six-year-old,” Rex informs him.
“Yeah,” Quinlan sighs. “I know.”
Ahsoka laughs, and it’s fine. It’s all fine. For a week, everything is honestly great. She trains, she laughs, she works through the nightmares.
Then fucking Denon happens.
---------------------------
Denon is a city-planet on the intersection of two major hyperlanes. It’s the kind of place where they stop for two things:
Fuel.
Paperwork.
Technically, there’s a whole mess of paperwork they have to fill out to continue along this specific hyperlane, since they aren’t official Republic ships, and don’t have the licenses to just pass along like ships that are pre-registered to the Trade Federation or the like. They could sneak past--literally all of them know smuggler’s routes--but it’s honestly less of a pain to do things legally. They have a Jedi Master. They have cash. Some of that cash wasn’t quite legally acquired, but nobody needs to know that.
It’s supposed to be a pit stop. That’s all.
It’s just a pit stop.
But no, the galaxy isn’t that kind and Ahsoka’s luck is currently being compounded with a Skywalker, two Fetts, and Vos, which means that of course they run into trouble. Of course they do. There was never any other option, was there?
“Motherfucker,” Ahsoka snaps, lifting her head up and slamming her drink on the table.
The glass is empty. That’s good. They’re in a restaurant right now, a little splurging after weeks with only each others’ company, and spilling the sugary child-friendly juice with that move would have drawn way too much attention from the servers.
“Language,” Tholme says, voice idly unconcerned.
“Sir?” Rex asks, kicking Ahsoka under the table. “What’s wrong?”
“What’s wr--that jackass,” she hisses, getting to her feet. “Rex, grab a blaster, I’ve got shebs to kick.”
“Okay,” Rex says, grabbing one out of Fett’s holster and scooting out of the booth before anyone can tell him not to. “Whose?”
“I didn’t even know that he was... osik, I don’t have jurisdiction,” she realizes. “I don’t have any record of wrongdoing. I can’t arrest him since we don’t have evidence of criminal wrongdoing...”
“Are you two going to explain what’s going on?” Vos asks. “Or sit down, maybe?”
Ahsoka makes her decision. She eyes the window--the restaurant in question is a little dingy, but it’s also several dozen stories in the air. “Rex, remember the thing we did on Geonosis that you hated?”
He pauses, and then sighs heavily. “Yes, sir. I remember the... yeeting.”
Hah. That slang doesn’t even exist yet.
“Great. With me!”
It’s a good thing the windows are forcefields instead of transparisteel. A bit of a twist to the energy and they’re gone.
She only hears a little screaming before the wind tears all noises away while they plummet.
They land lightly--of course--and Ahsoka wraps them both in a don’t notice me aura. Nobody even notices that they’ve just come from above. It’s great that she can just Do These Things again, and get brushed off as Weird Jedi Shit, instead of worrying about the Empire. She’s missed being able to jump out of windows without fear.
Rex follows her as she starts running through the city. They don’t have comms, and he’s still so small, which means he can’t keep up with her even if she runs at normal speeds without Force enhancement.
“Should you carry me?” he asks, before she can figure out if it’s worth suggesting. She did it a few times before they joined up with Jango.
“It’s not... urgent, I think,” she says. She hesitates to speak, even as she keeps jogging with Rex at her heels. “Honestly, I’m trying to figure out if there’s anything I can ding him for so we can attack him. It’s all well and good that I can beat him right now, but all the crimes I know about haven’t happened yet, so it wouldn’t be legal...”
“Commander?”
“Hm?”
“I have no idea who you’re talking about.”
She scrolls the conversation back mentally, considers, and says, “Oh.”
“Who’s getting steamrolled?”
“Uh, Maul’s here,” Ahsoka admits.
“Ah,” Rex says. He makes a face. “I understand the desire to jump out a window, now. I don’t agree with it, but I understand.”
Ahsoka laughs. “I mean, I just... every time I’ve seen him for almost twenty years, it’s been like... on sight, you know? We’ve never not attacked each other, except when I needed him to cause problems on Mandalore. But I always knew I was in the right, then.”
“So... what do we arrest him for?” Rex prompts.
“Um... carrying a lightsaber without a license?” she hazards. “We’ll need Tholme there. Hopefully I can just shout at him and he’ll attack me, but I think he only went full nutjob after Master Kenobi cut his legs off. He might be too controlled to try to kill me just for yelling at him.”
“...do we have to stalk him?” Rex asks, sounding like he’d most likely sigh if he weren’t mid-run.
She scoops him up and swings him around onto her back before she answers. “I think we have to stalk him, Rex’ika.”
“Don’t call me that.”
---------------------------
Maul is... exceptionally sneaky, actually. Either that, or he hasn’t done anything wrong yet. Ahsoka’s betting on the former, because she’s seen this particular skocha kung take over a planet before anyone realized he was the most dangerous person around.
Or maybe he’s just not committing crimes, and is in fact just here to buy groceries.
He’s examining a papaya.
She fantasizes about jumping across the market and greeting him with a heel to the cheekbone.
“Are you imagining a flying kick, Sir?”
“Yeah...”
“He’s examining a papaya, Sir.”
“I know...”
“Does he know we’re here?”
“I don’t know. Maybe? Do you think I should go hit him?”
“No.”
“Should I hit on him?”
“No, Sir. I would not advise that.”
“He’s looking at the neloms.”
“I can see that.”
“Why does he have to be so bo--did he just fucking bite a nelom?”
“It appears so, Sir.”
“Like... like rind and all. Just bit the little fucker.”
“Seems it.”
A scuff of metal. “What the fuck are you two doing?”
Ahsoka tips her head around to peer through the grate. “We’re spying, Fett, what does it look like we’re doing?”
Rex cranes his head. “We’re hanging upside-down from a fire escape to get a look at a suspected Sith Apprentice that is currently shopping for various fruits, Mand’alor.”
Ahsoka waves. “Hi, Master Tholme.”
“Sokari,” the master greets. “This seems a very conspicuous way to spy.”
She shrugs as well as she can from this angle. “Yes, but you see, this way’s more fun.”
“Is it now.”
Rex shifted. “He’s on the move!”
“To kill someone?!”
“No, to the deli meats.”
“Kriff.”
---------------------------
Apparently, Tholme and Fett had told Quinlan to take care of Leia, as Leia had wanted to finish her juice and refused to get involved in the Torrents’ nonsense. According to her, if they couldn’t be bothered to explain the nonsense, they didn’t need her.
This was true and accurate.
Quinlan shows up while they’re still stalking Maul, having moved to a low rooftop for a decent vantage point with less likelihood of being spotted. He’s giving Leia an eopie-back ride, and the pout on her face at needing it is adorable. She pouts harder when she sees them.
“Are you even trying to hide?” Leia scoffs.
“Not really,” Ahsoka admits. She’s got Fett’s binoculars out. “I’m not sure he’s caught wind of the fact that we’re here yet.”
“Or he has and he’s just biding his time to escape while we’re distracted,” Tholme points out.
“Meh,” Ahsoka says, avidly devouring the visual that is a teenage Maul glaring at leafy vegetables. “I just want him to do something so I have an excuse to beat his ass.”
“Do I get to know who?” Quinlan asks, setting Leia down on the roof. “Or are we going to keep being completely unwilling to share information?”
“Baby Sith Lord,” Ahsoka says. “He’s fifteen. A child.”
“A baby,” Rex agrees.
“You’re... that’s... ugh,” Quinlan groans as loudly and as dramatically as he dares, flopping down to the rooftop. “Master Tholme, please tell me this isn’t a real Sith.”
“He’s Dark,” Tholme confirms. “Sith is... up for debate until we have evidence.”
“He’s a bitch is what he is,” Ahsoka mutters. She observes the teenager in question stop to poke at some pink tomatoes. “E chu ta, break the law, already!”
“Does he have a lightsaber?” Quinlan asks. “If he has a lightsaber and no Jedi ID or specialty license, we can probably arrest him.”
“Auntie Soka doesn’t have a license or ID,” Leia points out.
“She’s got a Jedi escort,” Tholme says. “And if our supposed Sith is polite and plays nice, we can probably escort him to the Temple as well.”
Rex snorts derisively.
“Do you know why he’s on Denon?” Fett asks.
“No clue,” Ahsoka admits. “Evil reasons, probably.”
“You’re useless,” Leia tells her.
“Thanks, princess, how’s that attempt to open the jam jar by yourself coming?”
Leia says something very inappropriate for a princess, for a child, and for a lady. It’s fairly appropriate for a soldier, which is admittedly what she’s been for a few years now. Ahsoka sticks her tongue out at the girl like the mature operative she is.
“I wish we could still get him to lose his osik by just showing up and insulting him,” Rex mutters, low enough that Quinlan probably can’t hear.
“I wanna punch him in the face,” Ahsoka confesses. “I want him to try to punch me in the face, and fail.”
“Don’t bully the baby Sith,” Rex admonishes.
“He’s a Sith.”
“He’s fifteen, it’s tacky.”
“But it’s Maul.”
“I know, but you’re tw--significantly older than him.”
“But... but it’s the motherfucker himself.”
“...you can bully him a little, but only because he’s a Sith.”
Fett steals the binoculars. “You can borrow them again when you stop acting like children.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” Rex says, dry as Ryloth. “I’m ten.”
“Pretty tall for your age,” Ahsoka mutters, and then giggles.
“Don’t steal my jokes,” Rex says. He elbows her, hard.
“You know,” Quinlan says, slow and tired. “Master Tholme and I are trained investigators.”
Ahsoka and Rex look at each other, and then up at him.
“Okay?”
“...do you want me to find actual evidence of this guy doing something criminal?”
“Oh, yes please.”
---------------------------
Quinlan, as it turns out, is not overselling his skills. He does catch Maul doing something illegal later that day. It’s a little more ‘stealing corporate secrets in the dead of night’ and less ‘torturing people for kicks,’ but it’s still enough to legally arrest him. Quinlan attempts to do so.
Quinlan does not succeed, and is forced to jump out a window to avoid getting cut in half. Maul follows, steals a passing speeder by throwing out the driver, and takes off. Someone--looks like Tholme--drops back to save the driver, but the rest of them give chase. Ahsoka gleefully takes point on that, of course. She’s the best pilot.
(Rex looks bored, but someone is likely to puke by the end of the night. She hopes it’s not Leia, who insisted on coming for some fucking reason.)
“How the kriff is a teenager that good?!” Quinlan yells, clinging to the edge of the speeder to avoid getting tipped out as Ahsoka swerves around a corner with a wild laugh.
“He’s a Sith!” Leia shouts over the wind. “What do you think?”
Quinlan is not impressed by the claim of Sith.
Ahsoka screeches as she drifts across four lanes of traffic and into an alleyway to pursue Maul. He’s pretty good at dodging cross-building walkways, but she’s better. She bares her teeth, hissing, and tries to pick a plan.
“Vos, how’s your aim with Force throws?” She calls to the backseat.
“Uh, decent?”
“Great! Fett’s the projectile!”
Vos takes a second longer to process that than Jango does.
“I’m wh--”
He cuts off, screaming, and is flung forward by Quinlan to crash headfirst into a teenage Sith.
“Take the wheel!” Ahsoka commands, not waiting to see who follows the order, because Fett and Maul are both getting to their feet, the other speeder is about to crash, and she’s not sure who’s going to win that fight.
She jumps from the speeder they’ve been violently dragging around Denon, and lands feet-first on Maul’s... shoulder.
Hm.
That definitely dislocated something.
“You should wear armor!” she chirps at him, drawing both sabers and grinning as he whirls to face her, eyes wide with hate.
He’s utterly silent.
That’s disturbing. Expected, but disturbing.
“Did you just throw me?” Fett demands, higher pitched than she’d normally expect.
“No, Vos threw you.”
“Because you told him to!”
“Yeah, it’s a good strategy!”
“It is not!”
“Why not? Throwing people was standard practice in the GAR.”
She can’t see his face, but she’s pretty sure he’s about ready to strangle her.
Ahsoka cannot, at that point, continue snarking with the father of her best friend, because there’s a red lightsaber coming for her throat, and she should probably worry about that. Maul’s very good at killing people and she’d like to avoid becoming part of that statistic.
As she is quickly reminded, he is... fifteen. And shorter than she’s used to. And already injured.
It’s really, really easy to take him out, actually.
At some point, the other speeder was safely recovered before it caused property damage, and their own is landing a few meters away with Vos and the kids.
“You have Force-negating cuffs, right?” Ahsoka asks.
“No, Master Tholme has them.”
“Oh,” she says, and grimaces. “I guess I’ll just... keep sitting on him then.”
Maul snarls, and she raps him on the skull. “Stop that, it’s uncivilized.”
Rex snorts.
Jango makes a noise that is incredibly frustrated with the lot of them, and turns on Rex. “Was she telling the truth?”
“About?”
“Throwing people being standard practice for the GAR.”
Rex’s face goes pained. “It was in the five-oh-first. And a few others.”
“What’s the GAR?” Quinlan asks.
“None of your damn business,” Fett snaps.
Quinlan throws his hands up in the air again. “Come on! I just proved I know what I’m doing!”
“And their tragic backstory is none of your business, prudii!”
Quinlan blinks at him, and then glances at Ahsoka. “Um.”
“He called you a shadow since your training, um, seems to be pointing in that direction,” she says as carefully as she can. “We were theorizing.”
“Wh... you actually paid attention?” Quinlan asks, looking horribly confused. “I thought I was just annoying you.”
Ahsoka laughs at him. “Oh, Vos... I’ve been running black ops for... much longer than most would guess. Trust me, I know another spy when I see them.”
She smiles as kindly as she can, because she hadn’t actually meant to make him feel left out or unwanted or... well, she’d been pretty patronizing, especially for someone seemingly younger than him. The smile does not work. Quinlan just looks kind of horrified about how young she just implied she started spy work.
Granted, she’d been sixteen for Zygerria...
Deciding to ignore him for a bit, she shifts on Maul’s back and pats him on the cheek. “Don’t worry, Baby Sith. We’re going to get you lots of nice therapy. Mind healers, no Sith tortures, all that fun stuff. Maybe some plushies.”
“You’re also getting therapy, right?” Quinlan asks. “Please say you are. I’m required for the specifics of my training and if anything you’ve said is true, I feel like you really need it and I’m scared of what’ll happen if you don’t.”
Ahsoka laughs, knowing exactly how empty it sounds. “Oh hell, if I didn’t get therapy, I imagine Kix would rise from the grave to force me into it.”
The name means nothing to anyone except Rex, and... ah, yeah, she told Fett about Kix a few weeks ago.
“No more throwing me without warning,” Fett grumbles, dropping to sit on the ground next to her. “Especially not at baby Sith Lords.”
“I am not a child!” Maul spits.
“He speaks!” Ahsoka cheers. “Aw, I knew you could do it.”
“’Soka, I told you not to bully him,” Rex complains. “It’s tacky. You’re being tacky.”
“I’m allowed to be tacky,” Ahsoka declares. “I’ve died twice, that’s, like, permission from the universe.”
“You’ve died twice?” Quinlan asks, back in ‘fascinated horror’ territory. “Wait, no, I shouldn’t ask--”
“Too late! The first time was on a planet that doesn’t exist and my Master lost his mind, killed a god, and used the good favor of another god to have me brought back to life at her expense. Not in that order.”
“I--what? No, that’s--what?”
Ahsoka smiles brightly. “You asked.”
Tholme finally shows up with the cuffs.
---------------------------
“You should eat something.”
He glares at her.
“Baby Sith Lords need to eat.”
He keeps glaring at her.
“Maul, you’ll never get big and strong and ready to kill if you don’t eat your vegetables.”
He bares his teeth.
“No, I don’t eat my veggies, but I’m a Togruta, so if I eat too many vegetables I throw up.”
Rex kicks her thigh, right on the faulds. “What did I say about bullying the Sith Lord?”
“Not to.”
“And what are you doing?”
“Making him eat his vegetables.”
“Soka.”
“Rex’ika.”
He kicks at her again. “Get up, we’re swapping out the watch.”
“But I wanted to hang out with my favorite little criminal mastermind.”
Rex drops to the floor and presses his forehead to her shoulder. “How the hell is being around this guy the first thing to make you cheer up in weeks?”
“I’m allowed to be mean to him.”
“He’s going to bite you.”
“I’ll bite back.”
Rex jabs a finger into her ribs, and she squeaks. “Go get something to eat, Commander.”
“Fine,” she huffs, rolling to her feet and moseying along to the galley. She walks in on Tholme and Fett having an argument about the ways in which Jedi and Mandalorians differ. Quinlan’s on the side, watching with wide eyes, and little Leia’s drinking a juice box at his side, tucked up under his arm and occasionally saying things to fan the flames. Ahsoka assumes she’s enjoying herself.
She opens the cooling unit, looks over the contents, and pulls out a raw leg of eopie mutton. She leans against the counter, bites into the chilled-but-not-frozen meat, and uses the back of one hand to wipe the blood off her chin. The ‘real adults’ don’t notice.
“I’m like ninety percent sure you’re doing this to mess with me but also...” Quinlan trails off, staring at her with horror. “Why?”
“A girl’s gotta eat.”
“Yeah, but all the obligate carnivores I know are like... generally holding to basic rules of courtesy when it comes to not grossing people out,” Quinlan says. “Like, I don’t chew with my mouth open. You don’t... eat in the most intimidating--did you just crack the bone with your teeth?!”
Ahsoka smirks at him, using her free hand to take away the shard of bone so she can suck out the marrow without eating the bones themselves. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but this isn’t polite society. We’re in a galley on a bounty hunter’s ship, and I’ve been living on the run or in an army for most of my life. Table manners are optional.”
“No, they’re not,” Leia orders. “Fett, it’s your ship, tell her to--”
“--and another thing!” Fett snaps at Tholme, clearly paying less than no attention to the food argument.
Ahsoka keeps on eating, trying to catch wind of where the discussion’s at. Mostly, it seems to be at ‘talking past each other.’ Neither of them seems to have fully grasped more than the absolute most basic parts of the other culture, and that’s only enough to insult each other, not actually have a constructive conversation. She’d have expected more out of Tholme, at least. He’s not exactly young.
“Hey, quick question,” she says, in a moment where both of them have paused for breath and the opportunity to seethe. “Fett, when’s the last time you worked with a Jedi, or any member of a Force-based religion, before I popped into your life?”
His nose scrunches up as he makes a face.
“And Tholme, when’s the last time you worked with anyone from the Mandalorian system?”
Tholme’s reaction isn’t any more gracious than Fett’s.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” she says. “Vos, were either of them actually interested in that conversation, or just looking for an excuse to yell?”
“Now listen here, jetiika--”
“Fett,” she snaps. “I am not a child.”
“And neither am I,” he growls right back. “This is my ship, and I damn well don’t need you treating me like a misbehaving youngling. You’ve got a problem, you bring it to my face, not get all smug about people’s tempers blowing over.”
Well, then.
She smiles thinly. “Of course.”
He stands with his arms crossed, in full armor save for the helmet. She puts aside the eopie meat and wipes her hands, smiling until she can put her hands on her hips and let it drop to a challenge.
“You know, I’m just--I’m just gonna go,” Quinlan mutters, pulling Leia out with him, the girl hanging from under one of his arms. “This, uh, this looks like a problem for... you folks. Um. Yeah.”
He sidles out.
Tholme doesn’t.
Fett rubs at the bridge of his nose, and then gestures at the table. “Sit.”
“I’d prefer not to.”
He drops his hand and glares at her. “We have another week on this ship together. We are going to have this conversation. Sit.”
She sits, right on the warm spot left behind by Quinlan and Leia. She crosses her arms, lifts a brow, and waits.
Fett takes the seat across from her. Tholme leans against the counter.
“We all know you’re older than you look,” Fett says. “I heard Tholme mention it, I know that much has been shared. You’re acting like an actual teenager, and I’ve... I’ve put up with a lot. I am trying to keep things civil, particularly with you. I’ve tried to be friendly. You’ve been fucked up since we met, fine, everyone’s got trauma. The thing where you’ve started talking shit to our faces for what seems like your own amusement? That has to stop. You’re older than me, Torrent. Fucking act like it.”
She blinks at him, slow and not exactly happy, and turns to Tholme.
The man shrugs. “I was planning to put up with it until we arrived to the temple and handed you over to some mind healers. Fett doesn’t have that kind of time.”
There’s a curdle in her stomach, defensive and angry and guilty.
“You’ve been... a bitch,” Fett finally says. “You know that. I’m not going to mince words. You’ve been holier-than-thou and rude and condescending, and aiming that at Antilles is one thing, when you’ve apparently known her since she was a toddler and taught her things. Aiming at the rest of us isn’t going to fly. We’re all adults trying to share a space. Stop acting like... just like you have been.”
There is no defense to be made that they aren’t both already aware of.
She closes her eyes and tries to strangle the burst of irrational rage.
Their accusations aren’t unfounded.
They deserve an apology.
She is in the wrong.
She’s felt freer than she had in years, and in that freedom allowed herself too much rein, let herself lace her words with barbed wires and poison instead of sparks and spices, comments that were cruel instead of just joking. Too familiar. Too comfortable.
“My behavior’s been inappropriate,” she finally says, the words clumsy and too big in her mouth. “You’re right about that. I’m sorry, and I’ll endeavor to keep a tighter rein on my less pleasant behaviors in the future.”
At least she only lashes out with words. It could be worse.
She opens her eyes, fixes her gaze on the wall behind Fett, wrestles her expression into stiff neutrality. “Am I dismissed?”
“...uh, no, not after that,” Fett says, sounding just a little horrified. “What the hell was that?”
Tholme hisses out a breath. “Let her go.”
“No, this needs to be discussed, that’s not a healthy rea--”
“Fett, let her go,” Tholme insists, low and heavy.
Fett looks between the two for a moment, seems to come to a realization he doesn’t like, and then gestures almost violently towards the door. “Fine. Go.”
She walks out, doesn’t sprint. She’s stiff. She’s controlled. She’s the one that fucked up, so it’s fine if she doesn’t feel great right now. Getting called out on one’s own failings as a person isn’t something to get upset about if the failings are real. The feelings are real and normal, but this was her fault, and so it’s up to her to fix it, and she can’t let them know it hurt her, because this was her mistake.
She goes to the cargo hold.
---------------------------
Ahsoka works out her frustrations on Fett’s punching bag. She does not augment herself with the Force, just uses raw strength and technique, ignoring the tears that press at her eyes.
She’s fine.
It’s not weird. It’s not odd. It’s not strange to not notice she’s been kind of a bitch since her mood came up with the whole Depa thing, and then Maul. She’s been mean, mostly to Vos and Fett, and nobody’s confronted her about it until now. They let her have room for her trauma, and she hadn’t reined it in. She’s just gotten worse.
‘Snippy’ she’d always been, but age apparently hadn’t fucking tempered it.
“Um.”
She catches the punching bag, breathing heavily and covered in sweat. She hasn’t worked out all the twitchy, nervous energy yet.
“Vos,” she greets, once she’s caught herself enough that her voice won’t waver. He’s on the other side of the bag, but she knows his voice. “Do you need something?”
“You’re kind of... projecting,” he tells her, drifting to where she can actually see him. “Not self-loathing, but, um, recrimination? You just don’t feel very good and I was hoping to help”
Why in all the Sith hells does he have to be nice.
“I got called out on my behavior and wasn’t ready to face the fact that I’d kriffed up,” she tells him. “I’ll be fine. And I’m... sorry. I haven’t been fair to you and was using you as an easy target for some of my ruder comments.”
“I mean, I kind of figured,” he admits, coming closer. “I’ve been tutored by Shadows before, and a lot of them act like you. I just assumed it was more of that.”
“I still shouldn’t have let myself run loose like that,” she says. “I’m... it wasn’t appropriate. I shouldn’t have let it happen.”
He shrugs, not meeting her eyes. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No,” she says. “Not with... not with you. Or anyone other than Rex and a mind healer, really. Most of it is...”
She trails off, distantly noticing that her eyes are tearing up enough to blur her vision, and her nails are digging into the bag in a way Fett won’t appreciate.
There’s so much that beat her down, never quite breaking her, that she doesn’t even know what made her act the way she does.
“Want to spar?”
She looks over at him, wonders what he sees that makes him want to fight her when she’s visibly unstable.
He smiles, kind and easy, and it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. It’s genuine in intent, if not in energy. He wants to help. “You all keep saying I could work on my hand-to-hand. Just take off the armor so I don’t break a finger, maybe.”
“You’re serious.”
“No, I’m Quinlan.”
She’s going to wipe the floor with this boy. “You sure you wanna fight me?”
“You won’t be able to meditate until you do,” he says. He’s right, damn him. “The other option is that I go get your... vod, I think? I go get Rex and you two can talk it out since you trust him with more. I don’t want to do that, though, he’s still a kid.”
She eyes him, lips pressed together and mind awhirl with emotions and thoughts she’d tried to beat out of her head and into the bag. “Ever fought someone without the Force?”
“...yes?”
“Was it cuffs?”
“Oh, you meant me not having the Force,” he realizes. “Er, no. Is... is that something you’ve done a lot?”
She smiles at him. “You’re planning on Shadow work. That means getting captured and stripped of everything you are at some point, Force included. Unfortunately, the cuffs are in use on a very annoying Dathomirian right now, so we’ll have to make do with you shielding like your mind’s a Kessel Spice Mine.”
“...do I want to know how often you’ve been captured?”
“No, you don’t.”
When he comes at her, it’s easy to dodge. It’s easy to tap him on target points, little pokes that show she could take him out, but isn’t going to until he’s learned something. He stays grinning throughout, letting her take the lead, and he treats her like... like a knight. Like a teacher. He’s stepped back and gone from trying to impress her as a fellow padawan, to proving himself to a full knight.
She’s not sure when that change happened, or why or how, but it makes things much smoother. She wants to think that it would have even if she hadn’t gotten a wakeup call from Fett.
So she treats him the way she treated Ezra, for the year she’d spent traveling with Kanan. She treats him as a student that’s willing to learn, good but not yet great, competent but not yet ready to survive. She draws him into the kind of chest-heaving exhaustion that tells a fighter just how much energy they waste.
(Ahsoka may have had her own style, but her grandmaster had been the pinnacle of a Soresu user. She’d spent years on the frontlines of a war. She knew the worth of conserving energy, and she’d teach it to any who stepped in to challenge her.)
“Who taught you to fight like this?” He asks, when they’ve taken a handful of moments to circle each other. His steps are heavy, sure, planted. Her own are light and ready.
“Soldiers,” she says. It’s true enough.
“Not your Master?” he asks, just as he tries to kick for her upper arm. It’s a safe question. For anyone else, it would be a safe question.
But for Ahsoka, it’s another chink in the armor, after a maelstrom of emotion, a storm of self-loathing, a dervish of instability.
She doesn’t break right away.
She spirals. She fights Quinlan, but doesn’t quite see him. Her strikes get sloppy, her feet stumble. She can’t make herself meet Quinlan’s eyes, not when the scrape of his heel against the metal sounds like the rasp of a breathing machine. Her shields get fuzzy, she knows, and she leaks what she feels into the air, making it sour and thick. She doesn’t notice, because all she can see, all she can--all she can hear and feel and--
She drops to her knees and grabs at her head, trying to stop it.
“Sokari?”
She breathes. In and out, harsh and jagged but natural in a way that the damned respirator wasn’t.
Her master her teacher her brother the traitor the hound the executioner
Her face is hot. Something prickles. It might be tears.
She tries to say something, tries to say a name or a request, tries to make anything come out of her mouth that isn’t the broken wail of a woman who hasn’t let herself think about how she died.
She feels herself pulled into someone’s arms, and she can’t quite tell who, but they’re bigger than she is, and feel warm and worried. They care. They don’t understand, they’re scared, but they care.
Her hands shake, clutched to her chest and she can’t breathe she can’t make herself take in enough air to do a Force-damned thing the empire is going to feel her her shields are down and broken and her emotions are spilling and the empire is going to find HER ANAKIN IS GOING TO FIND HER AND--
“COMMANDER!”
Rex.
Rex is here.
Her breath is coming so fast that she’s hiccupping more than she’s actually inhaling. She feels small hands in gloves on either side of her face, and then her forehead presses to something warm.
Rex. A Keldabe kiss. Her brother, her partner, her other half. He’s here. He’s calm. If he’s calm, then things are fine.
“What happened?” Light voice, high voice, small and distant. Leia. Little Leia little princess Leia she’s in danger she’s in trouble Anakin will--
“Commander.”
No. Here and now. She needs to focus on here and now. Her throat feels cold. She breathes too fast, still. She can’t stop it.
“I don’t know.” That’s Vos. He was... they were doing something. He was here. Talking to her. “We were sparring, and she just--”
Right, sparring.
“I don’t know if I said something?” He offers, voice pitching up, unsure and worried. Is he the one holding her? He’s the one holding her. That’s embarrassing.
“Commander?” Rex prompts. “Commander, can you open your eyes?”
She tries. She can’t. She shakes her head.
“Soka?” he asks, voice quiet. “Where are you?”
“F-F-Fett,” she manages. It’s enough.
“And where were you?”
His voice is so soft. So worried. She held him the same way after Mandalore, after Order 66, after all his brothers, all her friends...
“Soka.”
Her mind is spinning, and suddenly all she can hear is Anakin Skywalker is dead. I destroyed him.
Her breath hitches, and she wails.
“Commander,” Rex tries again, but her head is a vortex of Then you will die and Perhaps this child and not the Jedi way.
Our long awaited meeting.
I destroyed him.
Then you will die.
She can’t breathe she can’t breathe she can only see that yellow eye that’s too familiar but belongs to a stranger can only hear a voice that shouldn’t exist can only mourn and break and--
“Soka?”
“Malachor,” she manages. “I--h-he--I died.”
“What did you say?” someone asks. A vod. It’s the right voice, almost, rough and business-like, not accusing anyone yet, and... and... no. No. Not one of her boys. It’s Fett.
“Um, right at the end? I asked her who taught her to fight like this,” Quinlan says, nervous. “And she said it was soldiers. And I joked, I asked that it wasn’t her Master, and she didn’t answer that. A couple minutes later, she just started...”
“Oh, Soka,” Rex whispers, pulling her closer. “Commander, just breathe with me.”
“H-h-he, he just--R-Rex, he j-just--and I c-c-couldn’t--”
“I know,” her captain whispers. “I know, just breathe with me.”
“He k-k-k-killed me,” she sobs, falling out of the Keldabe and into too-small arms. “I l-loved--he was my broth-ther and--and he just--he killed me, he didn’t even stop.”
“I know,” Rex whispers. “Soka, I know.”
Of course he does.
---------------------------
“It was just bad timing,” Rex says, once they’re in the room she’s been sharing with her little family, curled up under a blanket and watching the floor like it has all the secrets to how she lost her world three times over.
“Is there anything we need to keep in mind?” Fett asks, gruff and uncomfortable. She wonders if he’s angry that she took his necessary confrontation and turned it into this mess.
“Don’t bring up her Jedi Master,” Rex says, and pulls her in when she shivers. Her eyes squeeze shut before she can stop them, tears beading up again. “Just... don’t. It’s too soon.”
“He’s--”
“He Fell,” Ahsoka interrupts. “I thought he died, but he became a Sith. And fifteen years later, we ran into each other, and I refused to join him in the Dark, so he tried to kill me.”
Fett swears, low and muffled. She thinks he has a hand over his mouth.
Quin and Leia aren’t there. She thinks they’re keeping an eye on their Baby Sith prisoner. That’s good.
“Soka,” Rex whispers, and she buries her face in his shoulder. She’s too old to be this kind of mess. She’s thirty-two. She’s Fulcrum. She’s...
She’s in need of a lot of therapy.
“We can avoid the subject unless you bring it up,” Tholme promises. “Definitely until the Temple. Is there anything else we shouldn’t talk about?”
Ahsoka can practically feel Rex’s deadpan look. “Sir, we’re a trio of child soldiers ripped from everything we know. Every other sentence is a risk. We’re just... working our way through.”
There’s a knock at the door. Oh. Quin and Leia.
“Just figured we’d drop this off before we went down to visit Mr. Grumpy-Face,” Quinlan whispers. He still thinks Leia’s a child. He’s trying to make things less terrible for her. That’s nice. “We decided he’ll be less angry if he tries Hoth chocolate, and made some for everyone.”
They definitely made it for Ahsoka herself, and Maul was an afterthought. Still. It’s sweet.
“Commander?” Rex prompts, jostling her a little to try and get her to sit up.
“Gimme a sec,” she manages. It takes longer than it should to push herself away from him, to accept the mug that Leia gives her, too-serious worry in the furrow of her brow and the twist of her soul.
She doesn’t look six. She doesn’t even look twenty-two. This girl was always too old for her skin, forced to grow up in the hostile fear of the Empire.
“Thank you, Princess.”
She sips.
She can barely taste it beyond the ashes she imagines coating her tongue.
I destroyed him, her memory echoes. His slightest hesitation before he made the final move, it haunts her. She almost reached him. If only she’d tried harder, yelled louder, been better...
She shivers.
“Do you need help falling asleep?” Tholme asks. “I’m a regular healer, not a mind healer, but...”
She probably should.
She takes another sip of her drink, willing herself to taste it. It’s good. She likes it. She knows she does.
“Can you make it dreamless?” she whispers.
“It doesn’t always work, but I can try,” he tells her.
She nods. “When I finish the chocolate.”
“Of course.”
---------------------------
Everyone’s careful around her for days. The whole decision to be nicer doesn’t mean anything when she’s walking about in a daze of too few emotions, drained of everything she could feel in favor of a grey cloud of fluff in everything she does.
She does forms. Single saber and Jar’kai. Ataru and Djem so and Soresu. Reverse grip, regular grip, partial reverse on either side.
Again. Again. Again.
She loses herself in the motions, not meditating so much as just empty.
Rex worries. Fett worries. Vos worries.
Leia and Tholme keep their shields locked up tight, and she doesn’t know how they feel. She thinks Leia might be judging her. She think Tholme might be pitying.
Maul simply hates. It’s an old and familiar sensation to walk into, and she takes unthinking comfort in his rage. She’s silent instead of snippy, when she plays the role of guard, and they stare at each other in silence. His eyes burn, and she wonders how much he’s heard of her nightmares.
“You need to talk,” Rex tells her, when he finds her with a cold cup of caff, eyes fixed somewhere beyond it all. She lifts her head. “Soka.”
She just stares at him.
He sighs and pulls her into a hug. “Commander, please.”
She can’t.
Ahsoka stares at the wall behind him, resting her chin on his head. Her neck itches under the lek at the back of her head, a little tingle of a feeling that she can’t bring herself to do anything about. The pale light of the galley is sharp against the chipped paint of the metal that surrounds them. It hurts her eyes to look, but it’s not the deep and dark lit only by red--
Then you will die, her memory growls.
She flinches.
“Breathe,” Rex tells her, too-small hands clinging at her back. “Just breathe, ‘Soka.”
She curls in tighter and tries to just breathe.
---------------------------
“Tell me something good.”
Ahsoka blinks. She looks at Leia. She doesn’t have the energy to parse that.
Leia chances a look at Rex, who isn’t leaving Ahsoka’s side any more than he has to, and Fett on the other side. Tholme’s asleep and Quin’s on Baby Sith duty. It’s just people who know, right now.
The little girl across the table, the child senator, the spy, purses her lips and huffs in irritation. “You knew my biological father before he became one of the worst people in the galaxy. Both of you did. Tell me something good about him.”
Good things.
About Anakin.
“You fought a war as a Jedi,” Leia prompts. “Surely you must have done some good things with him, or at least thought you were.”
Did they?
Every mission ended in tragedy or was just a ploy of Palpatine’s. Every saved life was just...
Wait.
“He built Threepio,” she finally says. “Your father wi--I mean, Bail wiped Threepio’s memory after the Empire rose, for your safety, but Anakin was the one who built him.”
Leia sits up, eyes brighter. “I didn’t know that. I... was Artoo involved? Did he build R2D2, or...”
“No,” Rex says, “But Artoo was his favorite astromech, and they always pushed each other into stupid stunts. We risked a hell of a lot to save that droid, more than once, and I didn’t find out until you started working with the Rebellion full-time, but Artoo and Threepio were the witnesses for your bio-parents’ wedding.”
Leia gapes at him. So does Ahsoka. (Fett doesn’t know enough to care.)
Rex grins, and if it looks a little forced, that’s fine. “He had a holo recording. I was one of the few people left that knew about the marriage that might have wanted to see, so Artoo offered. It was... sweet.”
He waits, probably for Ahsoka to add something herself, but she has nothing.
“I think that’s when they swapped droids, since Threepio was more useful to a politician and Artoo did his best work when we set him loose on the enemy.”
“He never changed,” Leia muses. “Did he always swear that much?”
“Yes,” Ahsoka answers, as Rex laughs. “Always. All the binary I learned started with the best swears.”
She tries to think of another good memory, something else that Leia might appreciate. Her mind ticks back to saving Stinky, which is just a terrible option, because that mission started with Hutts and ended with the Battle of Teth. That massive loss of life, all for the son of the creature that had put Leia in chains.
She wonders if she has anything in her memory that doesn’t end in blood and graves.
“Soka.” Rex.
“Hm?”
“Remember that time Fives and Echo got lost in the undercity their first time on leave, and we had to get the General to help us find them?”
She does.
He’s right, that’s a good story.
“Okay, so what you have to understand,” Ahsoka says, already digging the faint details out and dusting them off, “is that these boys were ARC troopers, top-notch, terrifyingly competent once they got through specialty training, and loyal as hell. Echo had memorized the reg manuals front to back, and Fives was... well, Fives ended up being the only person to figure out the chips before they went into action. Point is, the Domino twins were good... eventually. Just like everyone else, though, they started out shiny.”
---------------------------
“Tholme’s hiding something.”
Ahsoka wonders if Leia will just leave if she ignores her enough. Probably not. This was the girl that got kicked out of boarding school for leading a sit-in at age seven. She’s got patience.
“His job requires him to hide a lot of things,” Ahsoka says instead. “Not as many as Vos will have to, eventually, but a lot.”
“He’s hiding something from us,” Leia insists, visibly frustrated that Ahsoka isn’t as upset about this as she is. “Something important.”
The way she says ‘important’ is clumsy and impacted by the missing baby tooth. She can’t say the r. It comes out as ‘im-poh-ten,’ which is adorable, and if Ahsoka comments on it, she’s probably going to get punched by a six-year-old.
“The Force doesn’t care,” Ahsoka says. “I trust his intentions, if not him as a person.”
“If you don’t trust him, then why trust his intentions?”
“Leia, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I trust one and a half people in the galaxy,” Ahsoka points out. “Me not trusting a person isn’t a sign of anything except my paranoia. The only person I trust fully and without reservation is Rex. Even you, I only mostly trust, because my brain starts screaming if I think too hard. That’s why you’re the half.”
“Okay, whatever, paranoia aside,” Leia barrels on, “He should tell us. Whatever it is that he’s hiding, we deserve to know. We’re not children that he can just hide things from for our own good.”
Ahsoka presses her lips together. “Leia. Princess. I know you’re used to holding all the cards--”
“This isn’t about me being a control freak!”
“It is, though,” Ahsoka soothes, and smiles. “Your mother--the bio one--was the same way. You spent years as one of the leaders of the Rebellion, so obviously you’re used to having all the information, and people reporting to you... but Tholme is a Jedi Master. He reports to the Council and the Republic. Do you know how many people I kept secrets from while I was a padawan? We’re an unknown, Leia. They have no proof that we’re on their side, especially since we’re traveling with Fett.”
Leia crosses her arms and glares as hard as she can.
“I’m not going to bother him,” Ahsoka says. “I’ve already had, like, five unrelated mental breakdowns. I’m putting this on hold until we get to the Temple and I can trust that there’s a healer on hand to sedate me or something.”
“You... want to be sedated?”
“Leia, this... really should be obvious, but a Force-Sensitive losing their osik the way I have been isn’t actually safe. I know I broke a weapons rack last week.” Ahsoka gestures vaguely. “If the Jedi Master isn’t telling me something for reasons that might relate to my clear and obvious mental instability, I’m going to assume he’s got a point.”
“So he should tell me or Rex.”
“We’ll be on Coruscant in four days,” Ahsoka soothes. “Just... let it be. They won’t hurt us.”
“You don’t know that.”
Ahsoka shrugs. “I don’t have to. The Force leads me in all things, including this.”
Leia isn’t impressed by that, but Leia isn’t impressed by much in the first place.
She strides off in a fit that is, perhaps, more influenced by her six-year-old emotional control than she’d like to admit. Ahsoka lets her. It’s not worth the argument.
It’s only a few minutes later that Fett strides in, takes the seat Leia was just in, and asks, “What would it take for you to teach me how to use a jetii’kad?”
She blinks at him. “You want to learn how to use a lightsaber?”
“Yes.”
“...why?”
“Viszla.”
“I see.”
She does.
Ahsoka taps her fingers against the table, eyeing him with the kind of interest she copied from Master Kenobi, years ago. Fett doesn’t fidget, but she thinks he might want to. He just looks back, waiting for her judgement.
“You’ll need to justify it,” she finally says. “It’s a significant difference from what you actually did, so I need to know your reasoning for doing it, and your plans for once it’s done.”
“That’s all?”
“That’s step one,” she corrects. She tilts her head, considering. “My standards for you aren’t built in a vacuum, and you know that. Explain to me what you plan to do and how you plan to do it, and if I approve...”
“You’ll help me achieve it.”
“Maybe,” she allows. “A lot of that depends on Rex.”
“I expected as much,” Fett says. “He is... an admittedly large part of the reason.”
“He would be,” she says. She gives the silence a few more seconds to sit awkwardly between them, and then stands up. “I’d guess you’ve been brainstorming already. Do you have it written down or is it mostly just in your head so far?”
“I’m still... debating options, so to speak.”
She grins, and the shape of the predator’s smile, the baring of teeth... that almost makes him step back. She can see it in the twitch of his muscles. Smart man.
“Follow me,” she says, and doesn’t wait for him to stand. She strides out with tooka-light steps, hears the heavy beskar tread behind her, and goes to the cargo hold. Fett’s confusion grows tangibly behind her, especially when she tosses him a wooden quarterstaff. She picks up the other and spins it in one hand.
“You’re going to fight me,” she tells him, stretching and letting the staff help with the process. “And while we fight, you’re going to tell me what your plans for Mandalore are.”
He mimics her, but there’s a frown on his face. “And why staffs?”
“You and I, we’ve only sparred bare-handed,” she says. “I need a feel for how you fight with a weapon anyway. These are a good start.”
“Not the beskad?”
She grins, and the twitch is back. “No. That can wait. We start with the staffs.”
He takes a stance, and she mirrors him. She lets him strike first with a weapon, but she’s the one that asks all the questions.
(He is the only one on the ship that can fight her one-on-one right now, and he can win. Still, she makes him work for every inch, and what she doesn’t win in bruises, she wins in words.)
(Fett might yet be a proper Mand’alor, but Ahsoka learned war from her brothers, negotiation at the knee of a general and in the shadow of a prince, and government at the side of duchesses and queens.)
(If he wants her help uniting his people, he needs to prove that he can hold them together once she’s gone.)
---------------------------
Ahsoka’s interrogation of Jango’s plans is thorough, and she’s not the only one involved. She brings Leia in, and has her join in on the grilling. She maybe laughs as the twenty-seven-year-old survivor of Galidraan, the Mand’alor, a man who has killed Master Jedi with his bare hands, gets lectured on various government structures by a tiny girl that's missing several teeth and needs to sit on books to see the table properly.
Still, Leia knows this better than any of the rest of them do. The girl might have grown up heir to a monarchy, but she got a classical education and was drilled on democracy and all associated forms of government. Where Ahsoka knows military protocol and law enforcement, intersystem relations and defensive measures, Leia knows agricultural subsidies and welfare programs, infrastructure and education.
Ahsoka may know how to find out if someone’s breaking a zoning law, but Leia knows why it exists in the first place.
“And I grew up in a cult,” Rex says, when an argument on that topic breaks out. Everyone that hasn’t heard the joke-that-isn’t-a-joke stares at him. “The Jedi grew up in a religious meritocracy; Leia grew up in a monarchy; and I grew up in a cult.”
Ahsoka elbows him. He’s not wrong, but still.
Unfortunately, Ahsoka is about forty-seven percent sure that Leia will put her foot in her mouth when it comes to Mandalorian culture, blunt as the girl is. That prefrontal cortex isn’t anywhere near as developed as it should be, either, so impulse control for the princess isn’t great. Ahsoka refuses to let Leia and Fett talk about ways to mend the breaks between tradition and the pacifism of the New Mandalorians without either Rex or Ahsoka herself as a mediating presence. Tholme sits in a few times, but while he knows that Leia isn’t really six--though not about the time-travel, yet--Quinlan doesn’t.
They admittedly end up doing this while he’s on Maul-sitting duty.
“It’s like he doesn’t even care about making nice with the people that, at this point, make up the majority of his people!” Leia grumbles one night, as Ahsoka kicks over a step stool so the girl can brush her teeth. “He may not like the New Mandalorians, but from what I understand, it’s still early enough to prevent the majority of the cultural bleaching you brought up. If he stays this stubborn--”
“Leia,” Ahsoka says, and the girl’s mouth snaps shut. “I’m aware of your reasons for not trusting his intentions. But if I may say? Chill.”
“He’s not even trying!”
“He’s trying a hell of a lot harder than he did in the original timeline,” Ahsoka reminds her. “Brush your teeth.”
“I’m not a--”
“Teeth.”
It’s a little worrying, how the child’s brain affects Leia, but... well. That’ll pass in time, hopefully. Until then, Ahsoka gets to be the aunt she should have been. This includes tucking Leia in, which the girl grumbles about despite the fond waves of comfort that enter the Force around her. Ahsoka doesn’t call her out on it, just brushes back wisps of hair to plant a kiss on Leia’s forehead, and then does the same once Rex stumbles in, grumbling about the limitations of a cadet’s body, but far more ready to follow the protocol that is bedtime.
Rex doesn’t pretend to not like getting tucked in, for all that he’s sharing with a grumbly, already-asleep princess. He smiles up at Ahsoka, lets her hug him, and pretends they can be a normal family for five seconds.
Quinlan’s making a late night snack for himself in the galley. Tholme is guarding the Baby Sith. Fett...
Ahsoka goes to the cockpit, takes the copilot’s seat, and watches hyperspace pass them by.
It takes long minutes before either of them say anything.
“Do Jedi believe in souls?”
His shields are up, locked up tighter than the innermost chambers of the Imperial Palace. She has no idea where he’s taking this question. She has to cast about for an answer.
“That depends on how you define a soul,” she finally says. “Leia told me about Force Ghosts. A Jedi Master who underwent the right meditations and training could pass into the Force upon their death without losing their sense of self. They could remain themselves, to an extent, and interact with force-sensitive individuals. I don’t know if they could last that way indefinitely, but depending on your definition, I could argue those ghosts were evidence of a form of soul.”
“So you believe that the dead pass into the Force, but that what passes could be a soul. Something must exist for a sense of self to disappear at death in a way that impacts the Force as you understand it, and many would use the word ‘soul’ for that something.”
“Mm,” Ahsoka considers it. “I’d say that’s pretty accurate. You’ve put a lot of thought into this.”
“What about those not yet born?”
Her fingers feel cold, and she finds herself no longer able to watch the passage of hyperspace as passively as she had, and her eyes catch on streaks and motes of what is not dust, her vision unable to keep any more still than her heart.
“Oh,” she hears herself say. “The clones.”
It’s a long time before he answers, but the walls come down. He carries a confused sort of grief with him, guilty and a mite resentful. His questions have been building for longer than she’d thought. His voice is rough. “I’ve taken plenty of lives, but I’ve never known the name of someone I erased from existence before they were even born.”
“The stories we told Leia about the brothers.”
There’s a grunt of agreement from Fett, so those dots at least connect.
“I take it my answer wasn’t helpful,” she manages to say.
“Will they still exist?” Fett asks. “Will they be born elsewhere? Or is... is a soul something that only comes into existence after the body does?”
“I have no idea,” Ahsoka admits. “I want... I want to think that I’d be able to find them eventually, to recognize them, if their souls are still born into this world elsewhere.”
“And if your Sith finds someone else to build his army out of?”
Ahsoka looks at him, sharp and pointed. “You wouldn’t.”
“They’ll be doing it anyway, if their plans are as ironclad as you say.”
“You’re already associating with Jedi,” Ahsoka says, fighting the urge to break his nose. “They wouldn’t approach you, not now. They can’t leverage your anger against you. They won’t know everything, but they’ll know that you have friends among the Jedi.”
“You think they can’t come up with better lies?”
He has a point. He has more than one point and she hate hate hates it.
A Jedi does not hate.
I am no Jedi.
“You’re going to have to convince me,” she says. “Especially if you want to somehow balance this with the darksaber thing. I won’t teach you how to fight with it if you’re not planning to retake Mandalore.”
“That’s how they’d sell it,” he says. “Retaking Mandalore. An army ostensibly for the Jedi, and ultimately...”
“You’d build an army of slaves.”
“No, I’d be the inside man for when they build that army anyway.”
She holds his gaze. She looks away first.
“Torrent?”
“I’m thinking.”
He lets her.
“I’ll need to talk to Rex. Probably Leia.”
“Understandable.”
“I don’t like this.”
“I’m only just considering it. It’s an idea, not a plan.”
“That’s the only reason I haven’t ripped your throat out with my teeth.”
“Hyperbole doesn’t suit you.”
She glares at him, and leaves, her mind chopping up and laying out every possible angle on Fett volunteering to do the exact same thing as last time, but somehow worse.
Great. Just what she needed.
---------------------------
Ahsoka isn’t there for the shouting match between Rex and Fett, but she doesn’t have to be. She can hear it form clear across the ship, and Rex comes to her afterwars. He’s been crying, which isn’t as surprising as it could be. These bodies are still prone to such things, and will be for years. She doesn’t comment.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asks.
“We need to take out Sidious before he starts anything on Kamino.”
“Agreed,” she says. “It’ll be hard, though.”
“I don’t care.”
“What did Fett say?”
“That if it wasn’t going to be my brothers, it would be someone else’s. Either we stopped the cloning from happening at all, or we mitigated damage by being there.”
“I don’t think Sidious is going to tap him for it,” Ahsoka admits. “Not unless you’re willing to stage that kind of fight publicly enough for Fett to claim the Jedi poisoned you, family, against him. It could work, but it’s a gamble.”
He knows all of this.
“I miss them,” he says, and she cards her fingers though the curls he’s managed to grow in the past weeks. “I just... even at the end, I had Wolffe. I knew Boba was out there; I wouldn’t be surprised if the beskar let him survive a Sarlacc. I had brothers. Not as many as I used to, but there was always someone. I miss them all, so much it hurts.”
“It wouldn’t be them,” she reminds him. She pulls him closer, puts her cheek to his head. “It would be the same process, the same faces, the same training, even, but the boys themselves...”
He clings to her and shudders.
“Rex?”
“I can’t force them to grow up the way I did. I want them back. Sidious is going to make the army no matter what. Someone’s going to suffer, and I don’t want it to be my brothers, but they won’t exist otherwise, and...”
“And it’s an impossible choice,” she summarizes. “And it sucks.”
“It’s sucks Gungan balls, ‘Soka.”
She laughs, and feels him smile against her shoulder. Good. He needs to smile more.
“He’s still trying to get me to like him,” Rex says. "He’s still making an effort, and he never did that for anyone except Boba, and it’s weird. I don’t know what to do with any of that.”
“Gain a brother,” Ahsoka whispers, and she feels him jerk against her. “If that’s what you want.”
“He’s not vod.”
“Same blood as all the rest, and you’re older than him, so he’s not really in a position to be a parent to you like he was to Boba,” she says carefully. “You don’t have to do anything, if you don’t want to, but... I think he’s trying. I think this means a lot to him, and that he isn’t any more sure of what to do than you are. You don’t have to forgive him for what he did in the future, you don’t have to accept when he reaches out, you don’t have to ever talk to him again after we reach Coruscant if you don’t want, but I think... I think it’s worth at least considering what you have to gain. I think it’s worth looking at what he’s trying to give you.”
Rex huffs. “Why couldn’t he just be the shabuir I knew in training?”
“Something happened between now and then?” she offers. “I don’t know. I never met him in the original timeline. I just know the guy that keeps trying to get on my good side so you’ll like him.”
He outright scoffs. “Soka, that’s not the only reason he’s trying to get on your good side.”
“...I’m a former Jedi who talks trash to his face,” she says slowly. “And I cried on him. There is no reason for him to be nice to me, other than you.”
“He thinks you’re cool and a good person and wants you to be his friend.”
“Bantha poodoo.”
Rex grins in a way that goes straight to smirking. “Soka, I’m not joking. Jango Fett wants you to be his friend.”
“Kriffing why?” she asks, more than a little horrified. “I’m a mess, look like I’m ten years younger than him, have gleefully kicked his ass in front of an audience; I even told Vos to throw him at a baby Sith Lord. Putting up with me is one thing, but I’m... I’m only barely not a Jedi. I’m a historical enemy of Mandalore, and part of the community he hates more than anything, and--”
“And his reaction to you kicking his ass was pure Mando,” Rex says. “In that he now thinks you’re a badass, and thus worth being friends with.”
“I can’t believe that. I physically cannot.”
“Soka, just accept it. The Mand’alor wants to be friends with you.” He scratches at his scalp. “I mean, he met you while you were protecting what appeared to be children, and it’s apparently still early enough for him to care about that.”
She leans back in her seat, eyes on the wall ahead of her and back against the cool metal of the other side. Rex falls back with her. She wonders if Rex changed the subject so they didn’t have to talk about deciding how many of his brothers get to exist, and whether or not he can swallow the bitterness of his history to have a connection with at least one member of his blood. She doesn’t ask. If he wants to change the subject, that’s his right.
“I don’t... no.” She denies it as well as she can, and then the implications dig a little deeper. “Is this me accidentally signing up to be the Jedi Order’s official liaison to the Mand’alor?”
“I mean, this point in time... they’ve got Kenobi for the Duchess, yeah?” Rex shrugs. “Good relations with the system are probably a good thing, and you’ve got a stronger connection than Tholme and Vos.”
“Ugh,” she says. She rubs a hand against her head, and then lurches to her feet. “Fine! Fine. If it’ll get him to retake Mandalore before the Sith decide to bribe him with an army he doesn’t get to keep, I’ll teach him how to fight for the kriffin’ Darksaber.”
“That’s what makes the decision for you?”
“Well something had to!”
They only get one lesson in before Coruscant, but the lesson lasts a full day, and Ahsoka’s got his comm number. Fett’s a quick learner anyway, and Tholme was there to give pointers where Ahsoka couldn’t.
He won’t measure up to a Jedi in saber-to-saber combat, but he doesn’t need to. He just needs to learn enough to turn all those skills with a beskad to something that works with a jetii’kad.
(The balance of a saber is wrong to those used to a physical weapon. The inertia doesn’t work the way anyone expects. There’s no need to worry about damaging the blade.)
(Fett is good. Ahsoka is better. And, bless his heart, he knows it.)
(She will mold him into the shape of someone who not only can, but should rule a system with a history like that, and he damn well knows that too.)
---------------------------
“Dropping out of hyperspace in T-minus twenty seconds.”
The Slave I is not, in fact, a Venator-class starship, or anything else near the size and smoothness of the ships that Ahsoka grew up on. This is a bounty hunter’s vessel, and the drop to real space jolts like nothing else. Ahsoka’s in the copilot seat for the return, but Tholme’s going to swap with her as soon as they’ve got confirmation that there were no problems with exiting hyperspace, and nobody’s shooting at them.
“We’re not going to get shot at,” Tholme had assured her.
“I always get shot at,” she’d told him.
“I have our clearance,” he reminded her, seeming more amused than frustrated. “There’s no need to worry about getting shot at.”
“I also always get shot at,” Jango had thrown in.
“Okay,” Tholme had allowed, after several minutes of his trust in the Temple warring against Ahsoka and Jango’s learned paranoia. The looks Quinlan had darted around the room when Leia and Rex also claimed ‘chronic getting-shot-at disease’ had been a treat. The paranoia of a Watchman and a future Shadow was great, but the paranoia of three revolutionaries and a galaxy-wide criminal was greater. “You can take us in close enough to get in radio contact, but the second we have to ask for clearance and a vector, I’m in the seat.”
She’d agreed, of course. She was paranoid, not inexperienced.
“We’re much less likely to get shot down by ground control if you tell them we’re with you,” she’d said, to his hilariously apparent metaphysical exhaustion. “Obviously.”
“Good enough,” he’d sighed.
What that means is mostly just that Ahsoka gets to watch the distant star at the center of Coruscant’s system grow rapidly brighter. She can pick out the constellations she’d grown up with, the stars the creche had projected on the ceiling every night, the ones that she may not have seen from the surface, but had greeted her and then sent her on her way every time she left on yet another campaign that lost her men their lives for a Sith Lord's wretched plans. These were the shapes and stories she’d never seen again as Fulcrum, a woman so hunted that to come within a dozen subsectors of the planet was to court her death.
For sixteen years, she hadn’t ventured closer than Alderaan, save for a single trip to Chandrila.
And now, maybe twenty minutes away at this speed, was the Temple. It was home.
A home that didn’t know her, that had sentenced her to death, that had hosted the rampage of her former master... but home nonetheless.
“Stable?” Fett grunts.
“Thrusters are good,” she confirms.
“I meant you.”
Ah. “I’m... fine. As good as I could be, anyway.”
She hesitates, but manages to speak before he does. “You?”
“I’m not the one walking into an entire building of triggers.”
“Only because you’re not entering it,” she says. “It’s the home of your ancestral enemies who, bad info or no, killed off a whole lot of your friends.”
“I get to leave,” he says. “You don’t.”
She plans to needle him a bit more, maybe on something a little less based in both their traumas. She needs to talk, if only to fill up the silence and keep herself from reaching out to all the lights in the Force. It’ll be too much, she knows.
Tholme enters the cockpit. “Change of plans.”
“Better be a good reason,” Jango says, voice flat.
“Leia’s crying.”
Ahsoka’s unbuckling herself before she can process the words fully. “What?”
Leia doesn’t cry for no reason. Her emotional control is as difficult as the body makes it, but she doesn’t just cry. There’s always a cause.
“I don’t know. Rex said to get you,” Tholme explains. “She was saying a name. He seemed to recognize it.”
Not good not good not good. If Leia was feeling the Emper--No. She cuts the thought off there. No catastrophizing. Information first.
“What name.”
“Luke. Mean anything to--and she’s gone.”
Ahsoka ignores him, just sprints to where she knows the ‘young ones’ are. They’re all in Maul’s room, because nobody wants to be alone with him now, but it’s the worst time to leave him without supervision. It’s not the worst option; he mostly refuses to talk, still.
This holds true, because he definitely isn’t talking when she bursts in. He’s sitting on the bench, in a corner, hugging his knees and watching Quinlan try to calm Leia down.
“Captain, sitrep.”
“Vos and Tholme attempted to show Leia how to reach out to feel the Temple from a distance. They felt that it would be a good use of the time, and an interesting exercise at this distance. She attempted to do so, struggled for several minutes, and then reacted with shock. She has repeated the name ‘Luke’ several times since then, and we’ve been unable to fully calm her down. I asked Tholme to get you, as you are the only Force-Sensitive on board that understands the situation in full.”
“Understood.” She nods to him, and then goes to nudge at Quinlan. “Vos, move.”
“Torre--”
“You can sit behind her, hold her in your lap like you did when we had lunch the other day, but I need to get in her face.” She waits for him to comply, and then drops to her knees and takes Leia’s hands in her own. She radiates calm and assurance, even though she knows Quinlan’s probably been doing the same since this started. She dips her head enough to get in the girl’s line of sight, waits for her to meet eyes.
“Princess,” she says, and meets Leia’s eyes. “What did you feel?”
“Luke.”
From this distance... they’ve got half the system to go, at least, and Leia’s training shouldn’t reach that far for anything more than the fact that the Temple is there. Ahsoka could feel unshielded individuals from here, if she focused, but she’s also been doing this much, much longer. The twins theory holds more water than ever.
“Can you show me?” Ahsoka asks, instead of asking for more clarification. She squeezes Leia’s hands and smiles. “In the Force?”
Leia nods, and closes her eyes. It’s not the first time they’ve done this, but it’s the first time in a while that Leia’s needed Ahsoka to guide her through.
Luke’s light, for all that it’s unfamiliar to Ahsoka, is brilliant among the rest of the signatures in Coruscant. Like Anakin and Leia, he’s a star in his own right, but he’s brighter. He doesn’t have Anakin’s bitterness or Leia’s righteous anger, just... light. Ahsoka had asked Leia to show her instead of looking for herself because she’d expected to not recognize the boy, but she needn’t have. He’s unmistakable.
He’s so bright that she almost misses the other signature that she does recognize. She shies away, knowing that it would be there, but... but it’s almost twinned with another nearby. Not identical, but different in a way that comes with age, with trauma, with... death.
Leia hadn’t arrived alone, after all.
Why would Luke?
Her eyes snap open, her hand coming up not-quite-fast enough to clap over her mouth as she gasps. She feels a shudder, one that starts in her shoulders and reaches deep into her ribcage, finds a home in her chest and doesn’t stop.
“Oh fuck,” Quinlan whispers. “Torrent? Um, Sokari?”
Rex steps closer. “Commander?”
“That shabuir faked his death again,” she manages. “Three times, Rex!”
He blinks at her. “...I know way too many people who fit that description, Soka.”
“Master Ke--” she cuts herself off. He might have changed his name, just like she had. There’s already an Obi-Wan here. Rex seems to be figuring it out, but she needs to give him another hint.
“He pulled a Hardeen,” she stresses, and Rex’s eyes snap shut with a tired groan.
“Who?” Leia asks, her own tumult of emotion paused in the wake of Ahsoka’s shock. There’s a hope and relief to her, and Ahsoka belatedly realizes that her main worry had been that she’d misidentified what was going on, that she’d given herself a false hope. Ahsoka’s internal reaction, her approval and awe at Luke’s presence, had trickled over enough to give Leia the reassurance she’d needed.
Unintentional as it was, Ahsoka was glad that she’d succeeded in helping her charge.
“Er...” she trails off. “I don’t know what name he’s going by, right now. We’ve spent so long in hiding...”
“The man Luke knew as Crazy Old Ben,” Rex says, and Leia’s eyes light up.
“Oh,” she breathes. “General O--no, names. The High General, then.”
“Yeah,” Ahsoka says, not a little soft. “Yeah, I guess death didn’t stop him any more than it stopped me.”
“I could have told you that,” Leia says, smiling far too widely. She squirms where she still sits on Quinlan’s lap. “He was... he taught you, right?”
“As much my master as the official one,” Ahsoka says. She glances as Quinlan, feels Maul’s gaze on the back of her head. “Your f... my official master was very young when I was assigned to him. He wasn’t ready to teach, wasn’t even ready to be a knight, entirely, so my training was split between him and his master.”
Quinlan pops in at that moment, “Your grandmaster was military, too?”
We all were, she thinks. Even you, in your own way.
“I landed in their care mid-battle,” she says carefully. “It was a complicated situation.”
He nods, and she vaguely notes that he’s got his arms wrapped around Leia, and his chin tucked on top of her head. She isn’t sure if Leia’s noticed, but Quinlan’s picked up ‘baby’-sitting duty so often recently that she’s fairly certain he’s all but declared her ‘little-sister shaped.’ It doesn’t matter that Leia’s older--she’s still taking the juice boxes and gummy snacks that Quinlan shoves at her every single snacktime.
“Do you think...” Rex trails off, something uncomfortable twisting in the Force, even though his face keeps it mostly hidden. “My brothers. If the General survived and... and made it back...”
“I didn’t feel any,” Ahsoka says, because she knows she’d have noticed if it was anyone she’d met, and likely any clone at all. They all felt different in the Force, but they all held a spark that made her know it was one of them. “I’m sorry, Rex’ika.”
“A long shot,” he says, that dash of hope shriveling up. He must see something in her face, because there’s a curl of warmth in him, even if his smile is brittle. “It’s fine, really. I have you, ‘Soka.”
Rex and Ahsoka. Two halves of one whole.
She can’t wait to hear the lectures on attachment, the way people who haven’t seen her wars try to criticize her for clinging to any chance at still having a will to live. She can’t wait to see them justify telling her that it’s selfish to hold her sanity in her hands and refuse to let the grief take it away. She can’t wait to stare someone down for asking her to ‘learn to let go’ after she’s lost her family, her life, her universe three times over.
Most of the Jedi are more sensible than that, are reasonable enough to see those shades of grey and how to approach rules in the spirit they are meant instead of the rigid letter, but there will be some.
There will be more than enough telling her she is wrong to hold her oldest, closest, best friend as dear as she can.
Attachment, they’ll say.
What they’ll mean is ‘codepedence.’
They won’t be entirely wrong.
She reaches out for him, lets him fall into her side and stay there, closes her eyes and reaches out for the man she’d long called father, when they’d still been in each other’s lives.
This time, past the deafening flare of surprise-love-hope of the little star next to him, she can feel him reach back.
---------------------------
The second the ship has landed, even before Tholme and Fett are done with the checks, Ahsoka’s waiting at the exit. She strains her hearing so she’ll know the second the system will let her open the massive door of the cargo hold.
Leia clings to her side, and the boys stand to her back.
Quinlan’s stressed enough that she can feel it like a cloud. She is very much not trying to feel that stress. Quinlan’s stress levels, back where he’s got Maul so he can keep an eye on Ahsoka and the Baby Sith at the same time, are so low on her priorities list that it’s a a little sad.
It doesn’t take long for her to be able to punch the button and open the damn door.
It opens slowly. She bounces on her toes, because there’s a beacon of light and a steady, familiar glow on the other side, and she’s so, so close. She can’t see through the crack yet, because it’s day in this part of Coruscant, and the sunlight is blinding against the dark of the hold. So close. She’s so close.
“The hell’s wrong with you?”
Fett? Fett. He’s already here to get off? This door’s slow.
She doesn’t answer him, because the door is finally open enough to let her out, and she leaps through the gap.
She lands on a pourstone floor, feels pebbles and grit compress under her boots, frantically looks around as her eyes adjust to light and--
The High General, the Negotiator, Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, looking just as he did when she first met him, if a little less armored and a little more fed. The hair, the beard, the crinkle in the corner of his eyes. His spirit is a little older, his smile a little more strained, his posture a little more tired, but it’s him.
He spreads his arms, low enough that she could have dismissed it if she’d cared less for hugs, except she’s almost as small as she was when they met.
And every other hug she’d given back then had been, functionally, her being a living missile aiming her montrals for someone’s organs.
She’s a little more aware of how to avoid stabbing her friends in the intestine now.
“Master!”
She sprints for him, collides and sobs, feels him stumble back and then sink to his knees on the too-hard floor, and can feel the tears pouring out of her already. Her breath hitches, and she wails like a child, and that last part of her that couldn’t even grasp at safety shreds itself. His arms are tight around her, warm and strong and Master Kenobi don’t you dare leave again.
It doesn’t matter that Sidious is out there, that the Republic’s been building towards war for a century, that even now someone’s kicking up the Trade Federation. Her dad is here.
“I’ve missed you too, my dear,” he says, pressing a kiss to the side of her head, the bristles of his beard scratching along the skin of her forehead. Off to the side, the binary suns that are Luke and Leia grow brighter in proximity, so bright she can barely bear it.
(“Fett, why the kriff are you reaching for your blaster?!”)
(“Torrent said her master tried to kill her.”)
(“Different guy, that was a different guy, put the blaster away.”)
(“You could have just warned me.”)
(“I didn’t expect you to go for a shot on sight!”)
(”Calm down, Jetiika, if I was going to shoot on sight, we’d already be in a firefight.”)
She ignores everything.
“If you fake your death one more time, I swear I’m going to kill you myself.”
He tries to pull away to talk to her more directly. She does not let him. He apparently resigns himself to this, because he just adjusts how he’s sitting and pulls her in closer.
“In my defense, I was far from the only one presumed dead that took advantage of that status, by the end,” he says, letting her slump into his lap and cry herself dry. “I’m proud of you. You know that, I hope.”
She nods against his chest, smearing tears and snot across the linen and wool. She doesn’t care that they’ll need a thorough washing. She can have her public breakdown and it’s fine because Master Kenobi is here.
He doesn’t even know what she’s spent the past fifteen years doing. Luke wouldn’t have known. He doesn’t know she’s thirty-two and broken, beyond a shadow and cut down by her own master. There’s so much he doesn’t know but the Force rings with the truth of it: he’s proud of her anyway.
“I’m going by Ben, now,” he mutters against her montral. “There’s already an Obi-Wan here, after all. Still, I remain a Kenobi.”
She can’t make the words come out of her mouth. She’s overwhelmed, so much so that speech is a mite bit beyond her.
Sokari Torrent, she presses along the frayed bond that’s knitting itself back to life with every breath they take. Leia was already calling me Auntie Soka, and Rex and I both took Torrent, for...
“For the men you lost,” he mutters. “Yes, that’s fitting.”
He smells like sapir tea and a spiced beard oil.
There’s a whirl of activity about her, greetings and ‘a Sith apprentice?’ and introductions. She distantly notes when Fett almost shoots Dooku before Rex shuts that down and advises the Master to leave the area before things spiral out of control. She feels Ben stand, and she stands with him, clings to his side like a child and trusts that whatever happens, whatever needs to happen, he’ll take care of it until she can stand on her own two feet without swaying.
Rex grabs her free hand, and she feels herself settle back into her skin, bit by bit.
She’s back at the Temple. The twins are safe. Her grandmaster is here. She has her other half.
They can save the galaxy this time.
She’s alive she’s home she’s okay.
She’s okay.
Everything’s going to be okay.
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babblingbat · 3 years
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Obviously this wouldn’t solve ALL the problems in star wars but like.  Imagine how much in star wars would be better if adults treated children like, dare I say it, actual children.
Like, if 9 year old baby Anakin Skywalker is brought to the Jedi Council and they say “you are practically an infant and require so much therapy for literally growing up in the worst environment in the world and regardless of what happens next we’ll make sure you end up somewhere safe”... idk what would HAPPEN but at least you wouldn’t be questioning this 9 year old’s right to like, exist outside of slavery.
Or! Obi-Wan in TPM! Granted, he’s like, 25 or something, but he’s also a dude who just became an adult in the eyes of the Jedi because his pseudo-dad died, so maybe don’t saddle him with responsibility right off the fucking bat.  Maybe he’d have fewer issues? Obi-Wan’s canonical childhood is already so incredibly fucked up, he doesn’t need more of this.
The clones! Those are children in adult’s bodies! Don’t send them to WAR are you KIDDING me they’re TEN.  Not to mention they have no rights, aren’t paid, are barely considered sentient, and aren’t given a choice about being cannon fodder in the eyes of the government.  THEY’RE CHILDREN.
The padawans! ALSO CHILDREN.  And you don’t even have the excuse that they look like adults here or that they’ve been trained for war since ever (again, what the fuck).  Ahsoka was FOURTEEN when people said “yeah we can send this kid into an active war zone” and DID.  And initiates can become padawans as young as ten years old! Somewhere in the clone wars there are FIFTH GRADERS running around getting shot at and some of them have probably died because they’re IN A WAR ZONE.  If the Jedi pressured the senate a little and was like “no, actually, you can’t put CHILDREN in BATTLE there are LAWS against that”... well, they might not be successful, but the fact that they were just like, “I mean, lesser of two evils, its our duty to the republic, must be done I suppose” about the ENTIRE ORDER being-- what? conscripted? into the GAR is just... idk.  How can you possibly justify putting kids in war zones when they’re literally there as students who aren’t fully qualified, and then REPEATEDLY left to deal with things like this on their own.  I can understand it if the galaxy was a little chiller and it was more of “yes padawan mine sort out this trade disagreement I’ll be monitoring but it’s your show” that’s fine.  That’s a good learning experience.  But you can’t leave the equivalent of a high school freshman in the middle of hostile territory and be shocked when something goes wrong.
Also, just in general, the idea of children being capable soldiers at all is awful! And, I would think, something that the Jedi Council would disapprove of! Oh, you look out for the interests of other people? Hm, why do you, General Jedi #6, have a middle schooler with you? HOW DO YOU RECONCILE THIS
More specifically... Ahsoka was the age of a high school sophmore/young junior when she was ARRESTED AND TRIED FOR TERRORISM as the Jedi Council tried to make a point about not being soft on their own members during war.  How callous do you have to be to not show compassion to a, again, LITERAL NON-ADULT who must have so much PTSD already and then just go “in fact, we’re going to arrest you for MURDER” as if her life couldn’t get any worse, only to then not give her ANY support after leaving.  That’s not an adult, there! That is a TALL CHILD with laser swords and a lifetime voucher for therapy!
And looping back around to between TPM and AOTC, people let Palpatine talk to a ten year old? Repeatedly? Like, the amount of interest that this elderly man is showing in a middle schooler should definitely raise some eyebrows, regardless of sithy dramatic irony.  Anakin is a CHILD and, if I recall correctly, Palpatine, like, threatens the Jedi order in order to speak with him alone? No one said, “no actually we’re calling the police because this REEKS of come into my white panel van child I have toffee energy”? No one wondered why on earth this guy who runs the galaxy wants to speak to this random snot nosed kid? For crying out loud, no one says “hey mr. Chancellor, I think you probably have like 5 million better things to do than chat up an infant”? hell on earth, no one even does THAT much, which isn’t so much looking out for Anakin as it is wondering why the chancellor isn’t doing his job! TAKE CARE OF YOUR FUCKING CHILDREN, STAR WARS UNIVERSE, BEDAMNED HYPERFIXATION
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grievouserror · 3 years
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Here I go...
Ok.
I’m going to say it
Satine’s views on peace and nonviolence are admirable, but foolish sentiments
Her execution of the ideals was poor.
I mean, Mandalore in Legends (think back to 3976 BBY, Mandalore literally came into conflict with the entire Republic, it’s a freakin’ warrior culture for crying out loud) invaded the Republic at one point [https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Mandalorian_Wars]. You can’t just get rid of thousands of years of military might and culture without severe backlash. 
I mean, look at what happened to Copernicus and Galileo, when they said the Earth orbits the Sun. This violated the Church’s culture at the time and Galileo suffered serious backlash. I know Galileo was placed under house arrest and forced to retract his statements, but Copernicus died before any severe action could be taken against him by the church. Anyway, Mandalore had a military history of nearly 3950 star-wars-year-units, and then (in the eyes of certain Mandalorians) this upstart whelp comes along and says what they stand for is total bs.
To be completely fair, Mandalore was just coming out of a civil war which devastated the ecosystem of Mandalore, turning it into a desert (like Tatooine in legends. Uh, go look it up. Tatooine was at one point a forested worldbuthenitgotglassedandI’llstoprightnow)
Satine probably saw the devastation and bloodshed and became totally against war, which, to be fair, if I was in her situation, I’d probably have similar ideas. However, Mandalorian culture revolves around honor (hehehe Zuko parallels hehehe), especially honor in combat (brain stop with the Agni Kai parallels pls). And then you have this young ruler who says “no combat”. Some people have been affected similarly to Satine and probably support her 100%, others can see where she’s coming from, but you forget, 3950 star-wars-year-units of military history!!! People have been losing loved ones for millennia, and Mandalore would probably have some kind of system in place to deal with the grief. Mental health in Star Wars is seriously overlooked. Oh and if you want to read a series of stories that go really deep into psychoanalyzing Vader then https://archiveofourown.org/series/62222 pls read- Moving on. 
Naturally, the people that kept to the original Mandalorian ways decided that Satine was full of hot air, and decided to show her that her way was wrong, by blowing up children’s hospitals. Oops. Now, anyone with even a single braincell can see that blowing up a children’s hospital is dishonorable by any standard whatsoever. (Dishonored Mandalorians are called dar’manda btw, meaning they’re not Mandalorian anymore) Which is really really ironic when you think about it. Satine is claiming that Death Watch is dishonorable, which is correct, and Death Watch is claiming that Satine has forsaken the original Mandalorian way and is dishonorable, which is correct by the original Mandalorian way, and yeah. One gigantic mess. I bet this is why the Jedi council chose to send Obi-Wan in there. They saw this mess and was like “This is a job for the Negotiator”. It really is.
Oh and Satine’s line “Even extremists can be reasoned with!” 
I would certainly like to think so, but more often than not, a reasonable extremist is rarer than a moisture farmer with good income.
Pacifism is all fine and dandy, but it only really works for a leader of a state if one or more of three conditions are met:
Your state has a military that is able to defend itself
Your state has allies which have a military that is able to defend both your state and theirs
Nobody has a military
I’m using modern-day Japan for this example, because Japan relied upon the US’s protection for a while, but recent developments caused it to start recruiting for a military. 
As we can see, Mandalore in Star Wars does not have a military, they only have the paramilitary Peacekeeper force. That’s fine, but you can’t really push police into a military role unless you're the leader of the US. In which case, go right ahead. They probably have allies with armed forces large enough to defend both Mandalore and the ally, probably. However, I don’t think that’s the case. Maybe Satine would have refused military help? She seems like she would. And of course, this is Star Wars, so condition 3 is never met. 
Satine, for all your flaws, you’re still the best ship with Kenobi, and nothing else can stop that. That concludes my rant.
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Note
If you truly are the master of unpopular opinions, then I challenge you to name ten of them. Across any fandom you like.
Oh snap. Well, I certainly wouldn’t say I’m the master. A lot of my ships are pretty popular ones, for example. I think it’s mostly that a number the fandoms I follow feel like their stories have gotten bad recently, but I mostly disagree. I’ll try to tag each discussed fandom and character! 
1: Star Wars: The Last Jedi is amazing. It’s the best movie in the new trilogy. I love Luke’s character arc, even the flashback moment that everyone hates. I really liked Rey being nobody (R.I.P.) and Rose was a great addition to the story. People unironically say she’s worse than Jar Jar Binks and I just don’t get it. How are they in any way comparable? Oh, and while we’re on the subject of Star Wars - I’m a Reylo shipper who also loves Finn and Stormpilot. Yes, we do exist. I’ve also made my peace with Rise of Skywalker. It’s a terrible movie...when you watch it as a sequel to existing Star Wars. But watch it as a standalone film? It’s pretty damn good. 
2: Pokemon: Looker is one of the worst characters in the entire franchise. I feel such visceral, most likely irrational hatred for him. First of all, I don’t like it when the police are utilized in pokemon whatsoever, because they don’t really fit in this world, but Looker...when he’s not being creepy as hell, he’s just absurdly annoying, and forces himself into your life. I just want him to go away. Black and White are two of my favorite titles, but I still remember yelling “Get out of my house!” when he turned up in the post-game. As much as Sword and Shield have problems, I was overjoyed when I finished the game and realized that he hadn’t appeared.
3: Avatar: There is a certain moment in Legend of Korra, Season 2. I’m not going to spoil it, but it was a moment that broke everyone’s hearts and changed the game forever. Yeah...if you know, you know. People hated this twist. They felt like it ruined the series. Suffice it to say, I disagree entirely. Sure, that moment completely broke me as well, but I don’t think it was bad writing. I think it was incredibly bold and powerful. I appreciate that moment and how the characters had to move forward with that having happened. I felt like it was drama done very well.
4: Harry Potter: J.K. Rowling is...not the worst person to ever exist? Not even close? I’m not nearly the staunch defender of her that I used to be, as it has recently come to light that she’s kind of transphobic. Which breaks my heart, and I hope she learns better. However, literally...all the other complaints against her don’t make any sense? I feel like I’m going to get messages about this one, but I’m happy to respectfully counter-argue the reasons people have for hating her. As much as she can be problematic...she still gave us this universe. And as much as I love the Potter fandom...we can also be a bit entitled. EDIT: She has gotten far worse since this was posted and any desire to give her a second chance has since shriveled away.
5: Timeless. Garcia Flynn has always been my favorite character, and the fan-made Seasons 3 and 4 have made something of a Lucy x Flynn shipper out of me. However, I also don’t hate Wyatt. I actually love and enjoy his character....yes, we do exist. I’m gonna say it over and over again: Wyatt deserved better. Sure, he didn’t treat Lucy very well in Season 2. Considering how his worlds were colliding in ways no one could have predicted, I think we can acknowledge that he was wrong, and move on from it. If nothing else, he shouldn’t still be on the hook for it by Season 4. But...no. I guess he is. (Sigh)
6: Undertale: Asgore is not a terrible person. This is one of the weirdest takes I’ve seen, but people hate Asgore. More than just acknowledging that he’s flawed, they despise him. To the point where they write in head-canons that he groomed Undyne into being a child soldier, or that Toriel was forced into an arranged marriage and didn’t love him....the canon clearly defies both of these ideas. And I get it, he’s killed children before. His cowardice meant he couldn’t fully commit to saving his people. Fair enough. But he’s not evil. No one in Undertale is, that’s kinda the point. Also, you might think I’m an Asgoriel shipper, but no. Definitely not. I’m an Asgore fan, and I prefer Soriel. Yes, we do exist.
7: She-Ra: I’ve talked about this before, but even though I agree that Catra and Glimmer are interesting foils of each other....I don’t understand the idea that Catra opening the Portal and Glimmer activating the Heart of Etheria are somehow supposed to be comparable, or draw parallels between the two of them. Glimmer genuinely thought she was doing the right thing, that she would defeat the Horde and save everyone. She was misguided, but her motivations were selfless. Catra...was furious at Adora and just wanted to stick it to her. When Entrapta tries to warn Catra of the danger, she sends Entrapta to her presumable death. Catra’s motivation wasn’t noble. It was spite. Then, at the end of it all...she blamed Adora. Glimmer took responsibility for her mistake. To be clear, I’m not Anti-Catra at all. I’m just a very dedicated Glimmer stan. 
8: Game of Thrones. I thought Season 8 was okay. The very ending, with the Grand Council? Absolute garbage. Do not talk to me about King “Bran” or the pointless exile of Jon. But everything before that? Even the destruction of King’s Landing? I was fine with it. Mostly because I kinda saw the warnings signs long before Dany got to Westeros. Was Season 8 amazing? No, Season 7 was better, but I still liked 8. Side note, because I just have to keep this recurring line alive - I’m a Sansa stan who will defend everything she ever does, including her betrayal of Jon, but I’m also a Jonerys shipper. Yeah...we do exist.
9: Doctor Who: I love the twist introduced in “The Timeless Children.” It blew my mind and it changes everything. I don’t think it ruins the canon at all, I think it reinvents it into something mysterious and intriguing. The rest of the episode? Eh...I love the Master, but other than that...Most people tend to think that this episode was at least better than “Hell Bent” barring the twist. I...feel the opposite. At least in Hell Bent, the timelords acknowledged that the Doctor was behaving out of character. At least that was the point. In this episode, using the death particle on Gallifrey with no moral debate about it...Doctor, you had a seven season character arc about why doing that was wrong. (Side note, Day of the Doctor is my favorite episode, so I am not happy the Gallifrey is gone again.) Even so, it has to be said - The Jodie era has been amazing. I will never understand why people don’t like it.
10: Shin Megami Tensei IV: Apocalypse: Oh boy, it’s an unpopular opinion to even like this game, and I love it. Most people agree that the story is weak and cliche compared to the original. I disagree. It’s more like a different style. Yes, this game is very “anime” whereas the original felt more like a bible story. But this game has that rag-tag team of misfits who form a found family, and I just live for that trope. Speaking of the characters, my favorite is Asahi. I know people hate her, but I found her to be incredibly endearing, and she had an amazing character arc. Right up there with Hallelujah and Gaston. Nozomi, on the other hand....(deep inhale) let me know if you want to hear my rant about her...
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wildedoves · 4 years
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A Star Wars Story
It’s a new fic I actually had the guts to work on. Have some Anidala with a touch of angst, adventure, action, and of course the occasional comedy. Warning: it’s slow paced. 
Murphy’s Law with a Hint of Luck
Part I : Discovered
Padmé Amidala laid motionless on the pristine white bed, eyes closed and deathly pale in the center of the medical room. The monitors in the room indicated normal vital signs but Anakin, ever particular about Padmé’s well-being, noted her breathing was rather slow. Too slow, for his liking. He watched closely to the rise and fall of her chest, making sure she was still actually breathing despite the oxygenation levels indicating 99% on room air. 
“Padmé…” he trailed. His rising anger and mal-intentions increased as he swiftly made his way beside her. Whoever was bold enough to even lay a single finger on her will have him to deal with later. Oh no, he wasn’t just going to stand idly and do nothing. Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Knight, was not one to take kindly when angered. Those that knew this, stopped arguing with him after realizing they were speaking to a stone wall. Others, well, last they saw was the blue lightsaber whirring to life. 
Someone was going to pay for this. 
As if sensing his rising hostility, Padmé stirred. He watched her eyebrows wrinkle in discomfort as she slowly opened her eyes, observing her surroundings with perplexion. Her warm eyes then gazed into his. Anakin reached for her frail hand, intense worry overcoming his prior mounting wrath— or rather momentarily halting his ire. 
“It’s okay Padmé. You’re okay.” He assured her, placing a small tender kiss to her forehead. 
“Anakin…” She breathed, “Where...where am I?”
“On the Vigilance. Obi-Wan and I were on our way back to Coruscant when we got a distress call from Ryloth.”
Padmé tightened her grip in his hand. Mentioning the planet seemed to remind her, a tear aiding itself to the corner of her eye and sliding towards her ear. Through the Force, he felt her pain, her sorrow, and her anger. 
When they had arrived on the planet, and to the apparently bombed village, Anakin noticed a droid fleeing on a speeder bike about 10 klicks away. Immediately upon landing, he hopped onto a speeder bike in hot pursuit, ignoring Obi-Wan’s instructions to stay instead. Capturing that droid took precedence since apprehending  the droid meant obtaining answers which can then lead to whoever was behind this attack. Besides, Obi-Wan and Rex had it controlled back there. What could possibly stop him from this chase? At that exact moment, his comlink lit green with Rex’s voice patching through. 
“Sir, you won’t believe this but it looks like we found Senator Amidala and she’s—well—you should come back here. General Kenobi has her now and is requesting your return.” 
At that moment, his heart had dropped into the pit of his stomach. Kriff! What was she even doing on this planet? Hadn’t she said a few nights ago she would be providing relief to a distant...planet—and the horrifying realization had dawned upon him. Of course it would be Ryloth. Since its securement from the Separatists for the last couple of years, the Republic had been sending aid to restore the planet’s several damaged villages with the help of his wife and at times, Senator Orn Free Taa, who was practically useless in his opinion. (Anakin had actually said that once and if it wasn’t for Obi-Wan’s careful maneuvering of the conversation, he would have lost some of his privileges of the Senate Building, i.e., entrance to the building for public—and secret— meetings with his wife). He turned his speeder bike and revved the vehicle full speed. 
His master had found Padmé alive under a pile of concrete rubble, including a Twi’lek family and a couple of clone troopers that were not so fortunate. From his description, and his master’s never failing reassurance, Padmé was gravely injured however, stable in the medical bay. 
The medical droid attending her prior to his entrance in the room informed Anakin she has internal damage but with time and adherence to the droid’s medical advice, she would regain her health.
“Ani...there were children here and—and then the bombs…” she closed her eyes, tears spilling at the corners. Anakin gently wiped them away with his thumb, listening closely to her whispering hoarse voice. “This war doesn’t spare adults let alone children...I watched those girls die in front of me Ani...they were only eight.”
“I’m so sorry Padmé,” Anakin began, “War is ugly and there will always be innocent people caught in the crossfire. I don’t know who’s responsible for what happened here yet but when I find them, I’ll personally make sure they’ll regret it.” His jaw clenched. The situation became personal when Padmé became involved. 
“Please don’t,” she pleaded. 
“You saw what they did. You’re my family, Padmé, and I’m not letting them get away with this.”
“And you’re my family and I won’t let you.”
“You won’t? Or can’t?”
“Both.”
Anakin snorted while Padmé watched him carefully. “This is serious Anakin.”
“Look, I love you but I’m not going to just stand by and do nothing. You know me.”
“You can do something by helping the people here instead.”
“Not good enough. I’m going after that droid and finding out their reasoning behind this assault. You can’t change my mind.” 
She closed her eyes and breathed a heavy sigh before looking up at him again. Exhausted, weary, and defeated Padmé painfully consented. “I can’t change your mind can I?” 
It was pure fact really. “Well yeah. Not only did they attack this village but they also attacked you. You’re my wife and a senator Padmé. The chancellor won’t be happy about this. I’m not happy about this.” 
She looked away and a momentary silence followed. It was obvious she was not fond of his plan and he didn’t blame her. His plans strangely seemed to go awry at times and Obi-Wan was (unfortunately) witness to this countless times. Padmé was still quiet. He glanced over at the monitors on the other side of her which were still rhythmically beeping without distress. 
Anakin returned his gaze to her and she shook her head. “I have a bad feeling about this.”
He graced her with his very well known Skywalker smirk. “I’ll take my chances.” 
“Ani, just promise me you’ll come back. I always worry about you when you’re away.” 
“Cmon Padmé, have a little faith in me. You know I’ll always come back to you.” He leaned over and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. “We’ll be heading back to Coruscant soon but until then I’ll be your personal guard. Once there, I’ll make sure you’re in good hands. How’s that?”
A small smile curved her lips. “I would like that.”
“Great, and besides, I think Obi-Wan wouldn’t mind.”
She chuckled and winced immediately. “I don’t know about that. He still doesn’t know about, you know, us.”
“I got this. You leave it to me and everything will be fine.” Of course, things usually don’t go according to plan and the worst typically tends to happen whenever he’s around but for her sake, she had to return safely to Coruscant. He absolutely will not risk losing her. If anything else were to happen— Anakin stopped himself right there and refused to imagine such a scenario. 
“Anakin,” Padmé murmured and broke through his thoughts. “I love you.” 
“I love you too.”
----------------- 
Anakin remained beside his wife until she fell asleep comfortably, still holding onto his hand for reassurance. His presence alone brought her comfort, a sense of security and for this reason Anakin had made it a habit to be there beside her whenever she needed him (if, of course, he wasn’t on a mission some parsecs away). The medical droid had entered twice, checked her vitals, scanned for possible worsening wounds, and administered medications. When it was done and had left the room once more, Anakin leaned forward and kissed her cheek before stepping out of the room himself. She’s safe in there, he mused. 
Then why did the hairs on the nape of his neck stand up?
He surveyed the corridor and observed every single passerby's actions including the medical droids robotic speech patterns. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Probably nothing. He was in Obi-Wan’s flagship which also happens to be one of the safest locations at this current moment. He shook the sensation off and headed towards the hangar where he felt his master’s presence the strongest. Probably still bringing down aid to the village before leaving the planet. 
Pressing the button of his com link, he paged his master. “Obi-Wan, you there?”
“About time Anakin.” Pause. “Don’t tell me you’ve been with the Senator this whole time?”
He rolled his eyes. Well duh. “I promised her I’d be her personal guard on our way back.”
“We have other skilled people for that you know.”
Beside the point. His soldiers are great but nothing beats a Jedi husband. “I know but a promise is a promise and I don’t plan on breaking it.”
If Anakin paid more attention, he could literally feel his master shaking his head in disagreement but knowing Obi-Wan, he wasn’t about to protest considering Padmé’s condition. Of course, Anakin was right.
“Very well.” Anakin hears Obi-Wan sigh in defeat. “If I may ask, how is she?”
“She’s holding up but she needs higher medical care back in Coruscant. How long before we head out?” 
“We’ll be leaving shortly. For now, meet me at the hangar. There’s something here I want to show you.”
“On my way.” 
“Oh, and Anakin.”
“Yeah?”
“Do pick up the pace. We’ve been waiting quite a while for you to appear.” 
Anakin chuckled and the com’s green light faded. 
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misscrawfords · 4 years
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The Rise of Skywalker: Part Two
Read Part One here.
One of the many things I’ve been grappling with over the 2 weeks since TROS came out is the validity and cause of my upset and anger. And it centres round the question: if Reylo had ended differently, if they’d had a happy ending, if Ben Solo had lived, would I still hate the film? Would I still be angry? Or would I forgive and overlook its other myriad flaws? And connected to those central questions is another that pressed upon me, namely: am I angry and upset because it is a bad film on multiple levels that insults its audience and breaks its own mythology in a way that is deeply distressing to female viewers and is fundamentally a poorly written film or do I only feel like that because I am a disappointed shipper? Am I only upset because I have got so attached to my HEA fluffy fanfic that I’ve lost sight of the story that canon is actually telling?
There’s a wider issue contained in these questions that I’ve been asking myself which is that there is a judgement implicit that responding to a film purely as a shipper is a bad thing, that it invalidates my criticism and my feelings if, in fact, I am simply an upset and disappointed shipper who wanted a happy ending. That’s an issue that is definitely worth pursuing but elsewhere.
It’s been two weeks. I’ve read multiple twitter threads, listened to bits of WTForce podcast (it’s very long... and was making me cry...), many reviews of the film, and today I finally started reading Valerie Estelle Frankel’s From Girl to Goddess: The Heroine’s Journey through Myth and Legend which is blowing my mind and giving me the confidence to say what I’ve known for a while:
My feeling that TROS is a terrible film on multiple levels - all of them actually - is valid. You may disagree and that’s fine. It’s only an opinion. But it’s my opinion and I stand by it. And, returning to the initial question that has been perplexing me - in fact I cannot separate the way the characters of Rey and Kylo/Ben were treated from the film’s other flaws. If Ben had lived, if Reylo had had a happy ending, if their relationship had played out differently, even if they had both died, yes, I would have been more inclined to forgive the film its many other flaws and misjudgements, but the fact is, if Reylo had been written in a satisfactory way then it would have been a very different film. Reylo is only one - one massive, egregious error - thing that contributes to the mess that this films. It is not the only thing that is enraging and upsetting but it is probably the biggest. I’ll talk about these other things in yet another post, but for now...
Let’s talk about Reylo.
tl;dr: Reylo is canon and the movie still sucked. Here’s a 5000+ word dissertation on why. Maybe don’t read if my opinions on this are going to make you sad/angry.
I’m going to break down my problems with Reylo in this film logically and honestly, I’m not sure I’m going to say anything that hasn’t already been said, but perhaps reading another perspective will help others who feel similarly? I’m guessing it’s going to help me if I write about it. We’ll see.
There are three problems. There’s the problem of the fate of Ben Solo. In a way, that’s the easiest and simplest one to deal with. Death was always on the cards as a possible ending for him. A tragic hero who commits terrible acts is redeemed in death by saving the world. The death of this character is... not a surprise and has always been an ending I worried about because I’m a shipper and I like happy endings over sad ones. And I’ve been very convinced by the meta and arguments of shippers who have argued passionately that Ben had to live. However, arguably the problem is not the death in itself but the circumstances and the context. So I’ll come back to that.
The second problem is that of Rey. Rey’s development (or lack of it) and especially her ending. Yep. This is a big problem. Far bigger IMO than the death of Ben which, while tragic, could have been beautiful and fitting.
Thirdly, is Ben and Rey together. Reylo. Their relationship and the way it plays out and the way, ultimately, all of this breaks the mythology being established in previous films.
So three very interlinked problems.
To summarise. In TROS Kylo regresses to being the Supreme Leader and trying to source dark power. This is not terribly surprising considering the ending of TLJ. Rey also regresses to someone who is training and who does not believe she is worthy of Luke’s lightsaber. This is surprising because Rey has already accepted her destiny and her role as a Jedi at the end of TLJ. There is no reason for her to feel insecure about it a year later in TROS.
Rey and Kylo connect through their Force Bond and fight. Their anger is understandable but these fights continuously rehash exactly the same material as what was covered in TLJ, leaving me feeling, well, not very much. Kylo is trying to tell Rey something about who she is (a question that was resolved in TLJ) and Rey is angry at him because of reasons. 
There are some good parts here. Unlike a lot of people, I really liked the fight at Pasaana. I felt it took something from TLJ and added something else. It was a rehash of the throne room fight over the lightsaber but while that conflict was entirely personal over an object that meant something to them but not the wider population (beyond what it could do as a weapon), the same conflict here was over a transport ship containing real people and Chewie (apparently), a character of importance to both. So what happened is that their inability to reconcile with each other and meet half way is manifested in a completely balanced conflict which has a living cost. Chewie dies! Rey kills someone dear to her - accidentally, sure - but she now has a body count showing how truly destructive her fight with Kylo is. It is a symbol of how necessary it is they work together and find balance. Daisy Ridley’s acting here was great and I felt genuinely shocked. Shocked that Rey plunged so immediately into a kind of darkness that put her on a level with Kylo and shocked that Chewie was killed off so casually without warning or build-up - a real casualty of war and the raised stakes in this film. I thought it was a great way to build on TLJ and extend it.
So you can imagine how I felt when Chewie’s death was retconned.
Pretty similar to how I felt when C-3PO got his memory back.
I will probably talk more about this in Part Three, which is my wider issues with the film, but it’s sort of unavoidable mentioning them here because of course the way the film invalidates serious emotion by showing in so many ways that Death Is Not The End and is consequently meaningless impacts on Reylo and the fact that Ben dies.
Another nice moment was the snatching of the beads through the Force Bond. I mean, Kylo literally stole some fertility-coded beads from Rey’s neck!? Uh, this subtext is rapidly becoming text, as they say. Pasaana was weird though, right? Rey talks to children, is at a festival of life, she is fulfilling her role of becoming a symbolic mother which she started in TLJ and which fits the child Jedi at the end of that film (who was never seen again but we’ll deal with that later) and Kylo receives a gift of a necklace (a feminine symbol) from her immediately afterwards... This is pretty hot and heavy symbolism. Of their union and a future involving children, real or metaphorical.
And Rey learns how to heal with the Force, trying it on a giant worm as practice. This fits with her heroine’s journey - she is not using the lightsaber (a symbol of masculine power) but is using her power to preserve and save, which is feminine power. So far so good. I mean, it’s a shame they are wasting all these Force Bond sessions backtracking on TLJ to the extent that instead of enjoying their interactions, I’m going “Yeah yeah yeah okay but we’ve already done this but better”. But there’s still development so it’s okay and sometimes it’s even kind of hot.
Rey Palpatine. 
Oh dear.
Look, it’s not the thing itself. The union of a Skywalker and a Palpatine, the balance coming from the union of two great families on either side of the Force, is honestly not a bad idea at all. Ben as the Skywalker with a bit of darkness in him balanced by Rey the Palpatine with a bit of light in her. BALANCE. It could be beautiful. 
Unfortunately it isn’t. Rey’s lineage was resolved really well in TLJ. Rey Nobody is a great idea for all the reasons everyone already says - opening up the Force to everyone instead of keeping it as a kind of aristocratic lineage etc. Retconning this is really unnecessary and also sends a terrible message to the audience, especially women, as everyone has already discussed to death. Rey is literally told her power comes from a creepy old man who won’t stay dead instead of something innate within her. Instead of letting the past die, we are digging it up like an overzealous and ignorant 19th century British aristocrat let loose in Egypt with a pick-axe and period-applicable racism. Rey is then told that her parents sold her and abandoned her… to protect her. Another great message. And apparently Luke, Han and Leia all knew this?????? Honestly, I was confused by all this when I was watching the film but from what I’ve read afterwards it seems this is the case and in which case not only does that not make literally any sense at all in terms of what happened in TFA and TLJ but also has pretty awful implications for the OT characters and how they related to Ben. 
As I mentioned, it is also unnecessary for the plot for Rey to be a Palpatine. If Palpatine has to come back (which he doesn’t but okay whatever) then surely it’s enough that Rey is extremely strong in the Force for him to either want to kill her or want to control her? Like, literally that’s what he did to Anakin. Why does she have to be related to him unless the film is making some very unfortunate conclusions about blood. Good blood, bad blood… yeeeaaaaaah, this isn’t great as a message. It could be but that’s not the story the first two films have told. Also does Palpatine want to kill her or control her? Like, I’m genuinely not clear on that. I’m not sure he is. I’m not sure the film is. What is actually going on? Also if Palpatine has been controlling Ben his entire life why the hell didn’t he control Rey? Surely it’s easier to invade and control the mind of his own flesh and blood than that of another random Force child he isn’t related to? Who is surrounded by other powerful Force users? When Rey is all alone? Like if Palpatine is able to build up an insanely massive army that nobody has noticed across the Galaxy while still being kind of dead, surely he can access the mind of Rey on Jakku? Also, how did he manage to impregnate a human woman while being sort of dead and old? On both a mythical level and on the level of a question of taste and plausibility, HOW??? 
THIS PLOT MAKES LITERALLY NO SENSE WHAT IS GOING ON AAAARGGGHHH 
And breathe. 
So anyway, Rey Palpatine. Rey and Kylo fight and Rey kills Kylo. It didn’t really work for me though I’d have to watch again to figure out precisely why. This epic, wet fight just… wasn’t quite as epic as I expected it to be. Maybe it was because Finn was randomly there. Maybe it was because it didn’t have the dialogue from the trailer. Maybe it was because I was just tired of watching them fight and not seeing their relationship progress during the film when it had already progressed beyond this in TLJ. And she kills him like it’s a calculated thing when his guard is down and this whole thing is a mess. Now, it’s coming back to me! The order of events don’t make sense. The characterisation doesn’t make sense. 
Kylo and Rey are fighting. Leia gives her life force to communicate something to her son and dies in the process. I don’t quite understand what she’s doing and why this means she has to die. She’s not force projecting like Luke did. How is this different from in TLJ when she says “Ben” then and he waivers about killing her? She was fine after that! I get that they’re working with what they could for Leia but nevertheless, if you’re going to include it in an actual film, it’s still got to have internal consistency. Not that this film cares. Anyway, Leia dies to make Kylo pause and then Rey kills him which seems very rushed and kind of mean but whatever. Then Rey immediately uses Chekov’s healing to bring him back to life and when she does he’s Ben without a scar. So this is all confusing to me. Did Leia redeam him by saying “Ben”? Did she do anything else that makes sense of her dying? Did Rey killing Kylo bring Ben back? Was it Han’s memory? A combination of all these factors?
But the order strikes me as off. The death of Kylo Ren to allow Ben Solo to live is good. Excellent content. But all that is needed to do this is for Kylo to die – meaningfully (which being randomly stabbed by his lover at the moment when he was changing does not quite feel to me) and be brought back to life – meaningfully. I’m not saying what Rey did wasn’t impressive but I don’t remember being overawed by the music and the cinematography here. This is in many ways, or should be, the turning point in the entire ST: the moment when Ben Solo is reborn. And the exact moment of it happening is uncertain. And does he need the moment with Han’s memory afterwards? I’m not saying it wasn’t very touching to see Han and to have their moment together but it nevertheless didn’t quite gell. Like so many things in this film, it’s a nice moment that is over too quickly and doesn’t quite hang together with coherent plotting and characterisation. The entire sequence is rushed with too much happening – fight, Leia, death, healing, Han, lightsaber, RANDOM FINN etc. etc. And in fact, this moment that should be climactic is then later overshadowed by later Ben healing Rey in the same way, a completely narratalogically meaningless act. But more on that later. 
And I realise that in my hurry to get to this fight, I’ve forgotten Dark!Rey. Dark!Rey, like Rey Palpatine, is an idea that could and should be amazing and, apart from the cool graphics and a moment of gasp for effect, isn’t and fundamentally doesn’t work. Rey is struggling with her inner darkness throughout this film, something that was suggested in both TFA and TLJ, so I’m very much on board with it, and I think it’s important to see women on screen be angry and especially angry in a wild, ugly way. I think Daisy Ridley did a great job with that. But TROS attributed this anger and darkness to Palpatine rather that all the myriad and understandable reasons that Rey had for being angry. Perhaps that could work in some contexts as a metaphorical way of showing her anger but Palpatine is too present physically for that to stick. Instead, her characterisation is given wholesale to her genes and a male influence. This is… not great.
Confronting the dark part of one’s self is vitally important in the heroine’s journey. Only when the heroine has reconciled the dark parts of her psyche can the heroine be whole. TROS has worked out that this important but then hasn’t really known how to execute it. The physical manifestation of Dark!Rey for Light!Rey to fight is hellishly unsubtle and is also over so quick you quickly forget that she’s there. (Again, momentary effect is prioritised over anything that actually makes sense in terms of storytelling.) As a manifestation of Rey’s inner anger, she’s completely pointless. Rey fights her quickly but fighting Dark!Rey doesn’t result in Rey unifiying her dark impulses with her heroic self. She still has dark impulses throughout the film! In fact, she never succeeds in fully reconciling them. If defeating Dark!Rey had been a striking and climactic moment then that would work, but it doesn’t. She continues to fight Kylo straight afterwards and Kylo himself is in some respects (certainly in TLJ) a physical manifestation of what Rey fears and needs in herself. It is Kylo who is truly Rey’s dark double in TFA and TLJ. He tells her what she knows and cannot admit, forcing her to confront that in herself. He attracts her yet repels her. According to what is set up in TFA and TLJ, until Rey can both kill Kylo and reconcile with him, she is not conquering and reconciling with that part of herself. After all, they are two halves of one protagonist. But in TROS Kylo no longer seems to take that role, or not coherently. For example, he delivers information (“Rey, yer a Palpatine lol”) that she doesn’t in fact know. So it doesn’t work. And yet it also doesn’t work that Rey fights Dark!Rey and then immediately goes off and fights Kylo! One of those fights is redundant, perhaps both. If Dark!Rey had been a real character who does stuff, who tempts Kylo, who replaces Rey (Odile/Odette-like) then this would be meaningful. But she doesn’t. I know that some people are arguing that Rey in the subsequent fights is possessed by Dark!Rey but honestly? I did not see that in the film and I just do not think the film is sufficiently coherent to be that subtle about something that is such a major plot point! So she continues to struggle with darkness even after supposedly defeating Dark!Rey which is just nonsense in terms of mythology. She struggles all the way up to her confrontation with Palpatine. 
So let’s get to that. Look, I’m going to be completely honest here: I have no idea what was going on. Palpatine was rigged up on a crane on creepy evil villain life support, there was a giant jam jar filled with pickled Snoke heads, Rey was there, Ben showed up having thrown away one lightsaber but then found another two lightsabers (there were a lot of lightsabers, I couldn’t keep track of which was which and why they were significant), the Knights of Ren were there to do a soundcheck for their upcoming gig IDEK, Finn wasn’t there which made a change and Palpatine wanted Rey to kill him so she would become super powerful until he didn’t want her to kill him. He was tempting her and used the standard threat of “I’m going to destroy the universe unless you take on these super dangerous powers to stop me but if you do then you’ll be evil yourself mwhahaha”. I’m not sure really how that benefits him. Was his end-game plan to build up a massive Sith Empire for his darling granddaughter to rule, ignore her for years in favour of corrupting Ben Solo via some dude called Snoke and then reappear from nowhere in order to die again so she could rule? Because that’s a really, really flawed plan. Like, my cullender is less holey than that plan. I may have got this wrong. But before anyone jumps in to “Well, actually” me, my point is valid: I’m an intelligent viewer who spends plenty of time thinking about SW. If I couldn’t follow the main reveal plan in the climactic film of the ST, then… that is a flaw in the writing and conception. It shouldn’t be that difficult!
 Anyway, back to Rey. She is being tempted yet again (which she shouldn’t be by this point in the film or trilogy) and, briefly (though I’ve mostly given up on hope for this film by this point) I am engaged by her quandery. I think it would be really interested if she takes the power offered and fully embraces her Palpatine heritage – she becomes a Sith in order to save the lives of her friends! Perhaps Dark!Rey was just a warm up to seeing the real Rey transform into Dark!Rey. Then Ben has to save her! As she has saved him from being Kylo Ren, he will save her from being Dark!Rey! Balance. So I think that could be interesting and it raises some interesting moral questions about whether doing something bad for good reasons is ever justifiable. But of course Rey resists! Rey is not allowed to actually do anything bad in this movie! It’s infuriating! Rey is completely good. I think the message the film thinks it’s giving out is that Rey is more than her ancestry – that she is good despite being a Palpatine, that everyone has the power to move beyond their background. Unfortunately, that message was already there when she was Rey Nobody! And the actual message is that Rey is a static, pure character who despite apparently containing darkness is never in any way truly tempted by it or gives into it. Any narrative tension over whether she will succumb or do something interesting is very rapidly dismissed. Just as Chewie’s death is retconned and C-3PO gets his memory back. 
Anyway Ben arrives and they somehow have two lightsabers (???? whatever) and stand and face Palpatine and I think at this point we need to talk about how this is just waaaaay less impressive on every level than them facing Snoke in TLJ. There was tension there and uncertainty and when they fought together it was genuinely breathtaking and surprising. There was no surprise about Ben and Rey facing Palpatine together, but there was a tired feeling of “Oh look, we’ve got to face off against another creepy old man who wants to hold onto power for evil after his time is well over. Oh well, I guess if we have to…” If nothing else, this sums up the Millenial experience very well! Ultimately, not only is Palpatine a confusing final villain, he’s also a boring one. The Chancellor in the PT was interesting on a political level, the Emperor was truly creepy as a foil to Darth Vader in the OT, but this fossil on life-support is neither scary nor original nor even particularly threatening.
That’s the thing with escalating the threats continuously – it becomes meaningless. Making the Boss bigger and badder and threatening the Universe instead of the Galaxy doesn’t make the drama more exciting, it just makes it less believable. It looks very impressive to have the entire sky filled with ships and the threat of Palpatine destroying everything but it’s also ultimately meaningless. A massive threat just means a massive reset button or deus ex force lightning. Superhero movies are very guilty of this terrible storytelling, so is Doctor Who. First London faces an alien threat, then England, then the planet, then the Galaxy, then the Universe… and where do you go from there? The audience doesn’t care about the world at large, they only care about our plucky little heroes and their lives. If Palpatine had said “I have Finn and Poe and if you don’t take on these Sith powers I’m going to murder them” the effect would have been the same, maybe even better because Rey’s dilemma would have been even more personal. Hey, another interesting idea: “I have Ben. Only way to save him is to adopt Sith powers!” Anyway.
So this confrontation is yet another less impressive copy of the throne room scene in TLJ. The lore also gets confusing here. Ben and Rey are tortured which makes no sense because doesn’t Palpatine want Rey alive? Not sure what he’s trying to achieve here except it makes our heroes look powerless. Then Rey takes on the force lightning and does some snazzy special effects to win the war very easily. So easily that you feel no emotion whatsoever at how easily this massive army of ships is instantly wiped out. (Side point, but I’m guessing there were lots of people on those ships and Rey’s just killed them all? And considering we’ve just got an admittedly half-baked but still a plot about the defection of storm troopers, isn’t this just a bit concerning? But Rey can do no wrong and it’s all for the greater good because this is the Light Side of the Force and she is All The Jedi so I guess we’ll just pass over this casual genocide on the part of our heroine.) This seems to kill Rey despite Palpatine telling her to do it to get more power a few minutes earlier. No seriously, isn’t this what happens? I’m so confused. At which point Ben force heals her as she force heals him and whereas she was fine and dandy after doing it, it kills him.
Which… okay. Is a thing that happens. It’s hella inconsistent. And makes no sense. But okay, I mean, okay. I wasn’t even sad. I was just like “…right.” And fortunately the film immediately moves on and completely fails to acknowledge Ben’s existence while triumphant music plays. So that’s a thing.
Remember how I said at the beginning of this meandering dissertation that I was always aware of Ben dying being a possible ending but it was the execution that failed here? Right! Well, the thing is that every time a death happens in the context of a hero’s journey, it’s got to mean something. In a world where people can be resurrected and, uh, SW is very much that world (or it is in TROS), then you can’t just die for no reason! And neither Rey nor Ben’s deaths made sense. Rey absolutely needs an underworld journey as part of her heroine’s journey but her death near the end of the film does not fulfil that criterion. An underworld journey is a way for a heroine to shed part of her behind, to learn something, and to confront herself. The cave scene was Rey’s journey to the underworld. Arguably, the scene on Pasaana where she learned force healing was another type of katabasis. Heck, you can argue that when she finds the lightsaber in TFA it’s a katabasis or when she ships herself to Ben in a coffin it’s another. Like. Rey has lots of metaphorical underworld journeys. But when she dies at the end of TROS she has already reunited with Ben, she has no darkness in her that needs to be purged because she never waivered from the light and when she is brought back she is the same person she was before. Unlike Ben who comes back from the dead literally a different person. So Rey’s death makes no sense either in terms of the magical world and powers in play but also for her heroine’s journey. Maybe she could have collapsed. Maybe the effort should have drained her and Ben of their Force powers – a sacrifice for using powers they shouldn’t have touched. That would have made sense and would have been entirely fitting. But death? Nope.
And Ben’s death consequently makes no sense. Force healing has been established within the very same movie to have no real consequences on the user (also similarly established in The Mandalorian) so Ben’s death makes less sense than anything else in the entire film. The internal logic of the film says that there are no consequences for force healing. And then it kills off someone who does it. Sadness is not the reaction to that; confusion is. And then on a mythological level, Ben shouldn’t die. Kylo has already died. And Ben has been reborn!  I know it’s a meme, but Ben has done nothing wrong. Kylo has been punished for his actions and what is left is Ben. This is very, very clearly spelled out within the film. This makes Ben’s death a senseless tragedy that makes no sense, a final death in a film that has continually shown that death is not real or an ending. Except for Ben Solo. Because… I don’t know? I’ve managed to go 4812 words without mentioning redemption but I guess I can’t avoid it now. I’m actually not a big fan of redemption because it gets all thorny and becomes about morality and specifically Christian morality and I’m just… I’m tired of that. I’m a classicist and stories of classical mythology and classical heroism have nothing to do with redemption and being good and evil and I really see the Skywalkers as a kind of Greek tragedy lineage rather than people who have to be redeemed. I know Vader died changing his mind and killing the Emperor for his son but I don’t see that as redemption. That was a man who had done many awful things making a choice out of love at the very end of his life. And again, Ben saved Rey – this was an act of personal love and had nothing to do with the Galaxy. Redemption seems to be an active, ongoing thing that is about more than the purely personal. Vader wasn’t redeemed and neither was Ben – because he didn’t have a chance. And it all gets confused because, as I keep saying, Kylo Ren died!!!! On a mythical level, that’s all that’s needed! Ben Solo, on a mythic level, has nothing to prove, nothing to atone for, nothing for which he requires redemption. On the level that SW is also a story of politics, if Ben had lived, he would have had to reconcile his past actions as Kylo Ren with his present experience as Ben Solo – and it would have been fair if he had to pay a penalty in the human world. But not the death penalty. Because he has already paid that. Ben succeeds in reconciling and facing off his inner darkness in the way that Rey does not in this film. But he is then punished again and dies needlessly and shockingly in order to save Rey, who also shouldn’t have died.
It’s very unsatisfactory. On a mythic level, it really doesn’t make sense.
And I haven’t even mentioned the whole thing about if they are dyad (lol I keep reading this as dryad and getting a very weird set of mental images) or two halves of a protagonist or soulmates or whatever you want to call it where if one dies the bond just remains as a wound. This is a scenario where Rey and Ben have been very clearly set up as a pair animus/anima hero/heroine who belong together whether that is in life or death. I’ve just been reading about Brunnhild and Siegfried from the Nibelung Ring Saga – they both die at the end when they’ve finally been reunited but they are united in death. It’s sad but their death is inevitable after what’s happened to them and it’s sort of uplifting because they are together. This could definitely have worked for Rey and Ben. And considering death doesn’t stop you appearing multiple times and even doing cool stuff like lifting ships out of the sea, it wouldn’t even have been very sad. The mystical hero/heroine who cannot remain in society once their journey is complete is not uncommon. Look at Frodo going off with the Elves in a metaphor for death at the end of LotR where the more down-to-earth Sam is able to stay and rebuild. It would make total sense for Ben and Rey to be unable to integrate with society at the end of TROS whether that means simply exile or death. So long as they are together.
Anyway, they’re not together which makes the whole thing horribly unbalanced and unnervingly wrong on a profound level. The myth is broken! It simply does. not. work.
But if the ending for Ben and Reylo as a whole was disturbing, false, internally inconsistent and emotionally empty, that’s nothing to the ending Rey gets. Lots of people have already written about this so I’ll try to be brief. Rey has no connection to Tatooine. Rey is not allowed to grieve. Rey regresses to a childhood state, her very definite, spelled out future as a symbolic mother being absolutely aborted. Rey takes as a family name one that she has no personal connection. Rey is left with absent friends and nobody but the ghosts of Luke (who she didn’t like) and Leia to talk to in the role of weirdly incestuous sterile parents. So I guess this is a win for the Luke/Leia shippers?
Okay, I just need to rant a moment. (Yes, this is 5556 words of ranting but you’ve got this far – indulge me?) I’ve seen several takes from people I follow who aren’t Reylos saying that this is a great ending for Rey because she has a family and I’m just like ARE YOU EFFING SERIOUS?????? Are you ACTUALLY trying to tell me that living alone on a barren, desert planet reminiscent of where she lived as a child before she heard the call to adventure, where she was symbolically asleep with nobody but the GHOSTS OF SIBLINGS for company and ABSENT FRIENDS is FINDING A FAMILY???????????? JUST KILL HER ALREADY – she’s ALREADY DEAD!!!!! You want to make me feel Rey at the end even if Ben is dead? Show her surrounded by her found family in the Resistance and show her WORKING WITH CHILDREN?????????????? IT. WOULD. NOT. BE. HARD. TO. DO. THAT. AND. MAKE. IT. UPLIFTING. But this -this is just painful, truly painful and insulting. And don’t give me this crap that she’s not living there, she’s just there temporarily to bury the lightsabers and leave and go back to her friends. WHAT ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT. This is the ENDING of a NINE MOVIE SAGA. The ending matters???? And the ending is of Rey alone with the droid she rescued two movies back staring at some binary suns that only matter to the audience and not to her. THE FILM DOES NOT TELL US THAT SHE IS GOING TO LEAVE AND MEET HER FRIENDS. THE FILM DOES NOT TELL US THAT. IT DOES NOT IMPLY THAT. So this is a bloody stupid argument.
Yeah, I cracked. I don’t regret it. This is so infuriating I actually have literally nothing to say about “Rey Skywalker”. Like, whatever. The film’s already done its worse. Just… whatever. Who cares at this point? It’s meaningless. I laughed in despair at the cinema screen and was glad it was over.
 The fact is, according to the heroine’s journey, this isn’t the end of the story. It makes sense that within 24 hours of the film premiering, AO3 was filling up with “fix-it fics” where Rey goes to the World Between Worlds to get Ben back. Because that’s what heroines do. They save their loved ones. They do it patiently and through endurance. And they always succeed. And unlike heroes who go to the underworld to save their wives (cf Orpheus), heroines who go to get their man succeed. This story needs Rey, like Psyche, to go save Ben. She hasn’t finished her heroine’s journey. In fact, she is in many ways back where she started. Her attempts to integrate and confront her darkness have been confused and ultimately meaningless. She has not unified permanently with her lover yet. She has not become either a literal or symbolic mother. There is a stage in the heroine’s journey where she retreats to where she comes from for reflection and growth. That is acceptable. But that is not the ending!!!
And to place this ending of the film, with Rey smiling and saying “Rey Skywalker” as if this means something and some triumphant music over the top alongside what so many viewers feel instinctively, namely that the myth is incomplete and broken, leaves the audience – or at least it left me – feeling cheated and empty and bemused about why it feels so wrong. Ultimately Ben dead and Rey pregnant would make more narrative sense than the sterile and barren and infantilised ending we were given. And that was just about the worst case scenario of bad writing that we ever thought could happen. 
The myth is broken. Good night.
(Tune in soon to the much shorter Part Three where I discuss everything else that isn’t Reylo related that is wrong with this movie.)
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chaseyesterdays · 5 years
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So this is probably a tad late but I realized you are probably the biggest Star Wars fan I follow (okay maybe not probably) but I want your opinion on TLJ and to an extent TFW, like you honest impression and opinion. I have no problem asking off anon/sending a message if you’ve got some opinions™️, just state so.
Hi Anon! I’m perfectly comfortable answering anonymous messages or carrying on conversations via DM, so however you feel most comfortable is fine by me! I do have A LOT of opinions though and I’m probably not going to remember half of them for this post, so if there’s anything you want me to elaborate on or any other questions you may have, feel free to ask me however you like!
(I’m putting this under a cut because holy crap, this went on so much longer than I ever thought it would.)
Okay, first off: I think TFA had great potential as a film. ( I know you asked more specifically about TLJ, but I feel like I have to start at the beginning to get my thoughts semi-in-order. TFA introduced what could have been very interesting characters: a female orphan scavenger Force sensitive, a POC stormtrooper raised from birth for destruction but with a kind heart that ultimately guides him, a hotshot pilot with a gentle soul and a desire to do the right thing while remaining loyal to whom and what he believes in – even a female stormtrooper captain who could have had such a great backstory if they’d just let her. I can’t demonize TFA too much on not developing these characters because it’s the first installment in the saga, but still, where TFA failed is in its progression of the characters. I can almost forgive Rey’s overt Force abilities in the fight with Kylo Ren because yeah, we’ve seen the same with Luke on a slightly smaller scale, but it still felt a little bit jerky to me in terms of flow. Finn and Poe fared better in my opinion, but only because I felt like this new trilogy would give each of the new trio a movie in which to shine: TFA would be Rey’s and Finn and Poe would have what became TLJ and Episode IX to be more of the focal characters.
But here’s where I have issues with TFA. First, the movie was just a remake of A New Hope with different characters. I get that JJ Abrams was trying to appeal to the original fans while still providing that same magic to bring in the younger generations, but sheesh, the whole plot is essentially recycled with a few things moved around order-wise. Desert planet that isn’t Tatooine but looks like it, jungle planet that isn’t Yavin IV but looks similar, a “Death Star” that isn’t a Death Star but is essentially a Death Star, the death of a wise old mentor… There was literally no originality. I think JJ let his fears of fucking up the saga get the better of him, so he was too afraid to branch out and make the movie really great. He could have used similar elements and plot points as an homage to the first movie while still providing his own take on modernizing the film, or placing different characters as the focal point. In the end, even though I cried like four times watching it because Han Solo was one of my favorite characters and didn’t deserve to go out like that, I can’t rag on JJ too hard for TFA. He tried, but he fell flat on some things, and ultimately his treatment of an Original Trilogy character opened the door for some atrocities to be committed down the road.
And speaking of atrocities, that leads me to TLJ. Now, I’ll be honest here, I’ve only seen the movie once and fucking refuse to watch it again, but I’ve read a lot of other people’s reactions to it and examined some articles/YouTube videos explaining why everybody else thinks it’s such a bad movie, so I’ll call on what I remember for now and if anything else comes up in the future, I’ll let you know. But I’ll start here and now by saying that the reason TLJ was a failure from the start falls directly on the shoulders of Rian Johnson. Rian Fucking Johnson, Mr. Hubris, who literally said he set out to make a movie that destroyed fan expectations and worked to keep them guessing (if I remember correctly – like I said, I’ve sworn off TLJ content for awhile now just to keep my blood from boiling). The direction Rian took TLJ made no fucking sense and completely torpedoed the outline that JJ had for the movie, derailing the trilogy as a whole just because Rian wanted to be the smug, smart asshole who knew better than anybody what was gonna happen. As a result, the movie is full of plot holes and directionless actions and flat dialogue and ridiculous characterizations, and it’s not just a failure as a Star Wars film, it’s a failure as a movie in general because the plot simply doesn’t hold water. It’s literally a low-speed car chase with some cool effects that made half of its characters either useless, annoying, OOC, or redundant. It’s bad. My creative writing professors aren’t even dead yet, but if I’d turned in that script for one of my classes, they’d be rolling in their graves. (Did I mention I studied writing, grammar, composition, storytelling, character building and plot development for four years in college and make my living as a writer now? Trust me, I know my shit.)
First off, one of the biggest failings Rian Johnson had aside from the general plot was mistreatment of characters. The POC characters Finn, Poe, and Rose bore the brunt of that because Rian wouldn’t know how to write good POC characters if they literally smacked him in the face – hell, even the best of us white people are still learning. But Poe was reduced to an angry Latino stereotype, which made absolutely no sense considering his actions and attitude in TFA. He trusted Leia and the Resistance leaders and followed them because he respected them, not because he was blinded by them or whatever else anyone can try to insinuate. Admittedly he’s right to question Holdo because her actions make no sense and there’s literally nO REASON FOR HER NOT TO TELL HIM WHAT’S GOING ON, but he wouldn’t just fly off the handle and stage a mutiny like that. He would have talked to Leia about it repeatedly, talked to Holdo and others repeatedly, and Leia would have made Holdo see sense if she was in character AND SHE NEVER WOULD HAVE FUCKING STUNNED POE.
Ahem.
Finn and Rose’s storyline is harder for me to remember because I hated that cantina sidequest thing so much, but what I do remember is feeling like Finn wasn’t even the same person (he wasn’t, because Rian Johnson killed him and put someone else in his place) and Rose was just redundant because it felt like she was created to be a love interest so Finn would be with someone other than Rey (again, I’m fine with platonic best friend relationships, but considering the fact that Finn/Rey would be a biracial relationship and the big ship R*eylo is founded on a whiny white man literally abusing the female protagonist, it just seems like a blatant attempt to undermine the POC characters and relationships in the film). Now let me be clear: what happened to Finn and Rose is not the actors’ faults, as they were at the mercy of Rian Fucking Johnson, and it isn’t the characters’ faults that they’re so weak. That’s all on bad writing and Rian Johnson, and I’m in no way blaming anyone but him for destroying them. (Also, I don’t want Finn to die at all, but having Rose save him from sacrificing himself just so she could kiss him and declare love for him and keep fans guessing again is just…so bad, Rian. Why won’t you let your characters make sense.)
And then there’s Rey. If I’m remembering correctly, both Daisy Ridley and Mark Hamill said they didn’t get back into character for TLJ because the characters they played, Rey and Luke, weren’t even the same characters in this film, and whoo boy, does it show. First off, I hate this term, but Rey was essentially a Mary Sue in this film. She had pretty much no training with Luke but somehow managed to be an amazing Force user anyway?? Look, I’m a naturally talented singer, but I didn’t just get good because of that, I got good because I worked hard and studied technique and worked with instructors who helped me take my natural talent and channel it and refine it into something better. That’s what Luke should have done. That’s what Rey should have gotten. But neither of them were in character so of course we didn’t get that. Instead, we got an angry, sullen Luke who tried to murder his nephew in his sleep, which NEVER WOULD HAVE HAPPENED BECAUSE HE SAW ENOUGH GOOD IN DARTH VADER NOT TO MURDER HIM SO WHY THE FUCK WOULD HE DO IT TO HIS NEPHEW, HIS SISTER’S ONLY CHILD. No sense people. No sense.
Rey being a nobody is a controversial point because some people love the fact that a great Jedi can be anyone at all. I get that. But what those people don’t realize is that the Skywalker line came from a slave woman. She was a “nobody” in the grand scheme of things – no disrespect to Shmi Skywalker, who was a powerful woman and a goddess in her own right. Making Rey a Skywalker (either from Luke’s line or Leia’s) does not diminish the “nobody” thing. In fact, it’s the only thing that makes sense, because that lightsaber belongs to the Skywalker line and it wouldn’t just call out to anybody – my creative writing professors would have shot that shit down in a heartbeat. So I think Rey will actually end up being someone with a connection to the Skywalkers; some people theorized that “The Chosen One,” AKA Anakin born of midichlorians, could be almost an avatar-like thing, or Rey could be a reincarnation of Anakin if she’s not a Skywalker/Solo somehow. Kinda farfetched, but no less farfetched than the rest of this fucking movie, so whatever.
Tying Rey and Kylo together could have been so interesting if Rey was his sister. I loved the idea that Rey and Kylo were both Solo children of the Skywalker bloodline, representing the Light and Dark sides of the Force and proving that ultimately, the balance between Dark and Light is what defeats true evil and restores balance to the galaxy (after all, balance is not the absence of dark or light, but an equal ratio of it, and I firmly believe that being a Jedi should not be banishing all the darkness in you, but simply controlling it and centering yourself on the balance between love and passion and anger and pain). It would have made such a good story for Kylo Ren to be a double agent or a legitimately brainwashed young man struggling to do what he thinks is right and being misled but still using his gifts to support balance once he realizes he’s been led astray. Instead, we got literally the worst villain ever: he’s not intimidating, he’s whiny, he pitches temper tantrums, he’s selfish, he’s abusive, he’s impulsive… The writers can’t figure out what they want with him, because they’ve worked so hard to make us sympathize with him and like him and set him up like a misunderstood kid, but then they go and have him make the conscious choice to be evil but still be all those “good” things? It makes no sense. His character progression is all over the place because Rian can’t write and the Kylo he created is not even the same character as JJ put in TFA. And as a result, we now have just about canon proof that Rian wanted R*eylo, which is just another glorified abusive relationship that “stans” keep romanticizing. Gag me with a spoon. I’m done.
Also, who the fuck was Snoke? How was he so powerful? Where did he come from? How did he brainwash Kylo? Who trained him or how did he learn all he knew? How could he see everything and sense everything but not hear, see, or feel Kylo moving the lightsaber? Why were he and Phasma completely nerfed and killed out of nowhere with absolutely no character development or reason for dying? The world may never know.
And here’s where I get really angry: the sheer disrespect for the Original Trilogy characters. Harrison was ready to retire as Han, and I can understand that – I don’t like how Han went out, but I can almost forgive that because I don’t want the actors to be miserable. But what they did to Luke and Leia is unforgivable. Straight up, point blank. Luke Skywalker would never try to murder his nephew in his sleep. Leia would never stun Poe or send her son away or be a terrible, absentee parent. Luke would never be the person he was in that movie, because even in the depths of despair, Luke chose good, chose to see the good in others. He and Leia never gave up hope or belief that good would always triumph over evil. The Luke I saw in TLJ had none of that, and Mark Hamill himself said it wasn’t Luke, it was “Jake Skywalker” or some other nonsense. Mark is a genuinely kind and accepting person, so if you manage to make him angry about a character he’s played for more than thirty years, you’ve fucked up big time, and Rian Johnson did just that. And what’s worse, there was no reason for Luke to die aside from the fact that he just wasn’t convenient for the writers to consider anymore. Han’s death happened to let Harrison retire, but Luke’s was just to get the old generation out so Kathleen Kennedy and the other Powers That Be could do whatever they wanted in the Star Wars universe and milk that cash cow for all it’s worth. Now that Carrie’s gone, all real ties to the Lucasverse are gone, and I’m not convinced they weren’t going to kill Leia off anyway for the reasons I stated above. The blatant disrespect of that, of destroying characters I’ve loved my whole life, who literally kept me alive when nothing else did… It’s unforgivable. I wept like I lost loved ones watching Luke and Han die, and I refuse to do it again.
And here’s what it all comes down to for me: hope. Star Wars was founded on hope. The whole franchise was created in the wake of the Vietnam War when everyone needed something good to believe in, a clear divide between good and evil where good won simply because it was willing to fight for what it believed in, support others, love others, do the right thing. Even when the chips were down and everything was at its darkest in ESB, they always had hope, and in the end, hope won out. There are literally documentaries out there and books written about the success of Star Wars and the fact that hope is its literal cornerstone. The sequel trilogy destroyed all of that. There is no hope anymore. The Resistance is pretty much decimated at the end of TLJ, and at the hands of a government (not even a government??) that rose up out of nothing and destroyed like twelve planets with a flick of a switch and blew billions of people away (and of course we never hear another word about that because that can’t be important at all). Everyone is dying. There are no ships left. There are no forces – less than 100 people made it off that salt planet whose name escapes me and I don’t care enough to look up, and it might have been less than 50. There is no chance that the Resistance can rise up out of nothing and overcome that. Considering how far Rian derailed the progression of the trilogy as a whole, I don’t know how on earth JJ can come back and fix it with literally nothing on his side – all for the sake of shock factor (I swear, I shake my fist at Rian Johnson in my head at least once a day). I know the modern trend is to shoot for gritty, hopeless, “realistic” films because that’s what the current mood is in this country and around the world, but that’s not what Star Wars is about. That’s never been what Star Wars is about. The whole story was built on the foundation of hope, that good could rise and triumph over evil, and there’s simply no room for that in this sequel trilogy. Essentially, the sequel trilogy has failed because it destroyed what makes Star Wars “Star Wars” at its core, and for that, I will never forgive it. The prequels may have been dark, but they exist to show that while the good can fall, ultimately, they can rise again even if in the smallest of ways. “Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.” The narrative is so convoluted and misconstrued in the sequel trilogy, and it will never be able to find that same foundation of hope again because Disney fucked up. As I said in 2017, “Star Wars is dead. Long live Star Wars.” So I’ll stick to my Original Trilogy and remember the good things that kept me going, the characters and actors that saved my life and made me realize that even in the face of darkness, hope and love can overcome all. That’s Star Wars to me. Honestly, that’s what Rogue One delivered, and if you take anything out of this, it’s that Rogue One is the only Star Wars thing Disney did right. But the sequel trilogy isn’t Star Wars, it isn’t even halfway decent storytelling, and I hope that on the day I die Rian Johnson and everyone responsible for TLJ can lower me into my grave so they can let me down one last time.
I probably left a lot out because I have so many feelings on this matter, and this response is like encyclopedia-long as is, but it’s the truth of what I feel, and I really hope I shed some light on the topic for you (probably way too much light, but I digress). Thank you for caring about my opinions Anon! I really appreciate you giving me the opportunity to put my thoughts down, and if you managed to make it to the end of this ridiculous post, just know that my inbox and my asks are always open for any clarification or fandom-screaming or thoughts in general. Have an amazing day, and as some people whom I love very dearly used to say, “May the Force be with you. Always.”
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Text
Clone Wars    Senate Spy
       Season 2 Episode 4
Yea,      This     Sound    -s     Good
  A true heart should never     be doubted
    True-
    Doubt     is generally a bad thing
     You’re either certain a person’s an          asshole
       Or not
        (Gosh darn it is this going to be in Asoka episode?)
             I just get that feeling
        ......
         Anyway,
“Treachery        in         the     Senate”
    So a      Tuesday         (I will     not make     any more     political     jokes)
     Senator
    Tak          Ing         Part...
     Oh no he hang out            ....
        with the wrong clique!
         Of enablers!
          (It’s so petty              but makes               sense
            Like;              Seriously
       Is Obi-Wan              Going               to walk over there?
       And            be like;
      ‘Heard you were hanging out with grievous..
                         don’t?
   They’re         grown       adults...
                           (This is why we do accountability)
     Like       they’re even framed like a       cliche
     [Narrator             Voice;
         ‘this is me and my            clique,
          That’s-
            ____...”
           Pffft
           Also, hey
          Watton-boar’s                 In                 Prison!
           No             Ret-cons!
         (I thought that           episode was           relatively good!)
          “Conspiracy,” 
            Do you mean  he thinks they’re               peanuts?
            Or “Plot,”?
           As in he’s           plotting to destroy         them?
      Senator            From           Skipp-io          (We          have             to read              his text             messages!)
        [Okay, that’s the last          joke, but            Seriously,           the           military            gives a shit            what this guy             thinks?]
     And what.          happens       if he answers             “yes”,             (Or decides to say to stay            neutral?]
        Don’t really           have a plan             for that
       [Or is this you didn’t join our cliques so you get to spend the night in         prison,]              Rules?
          Spy?
         How is not blasting every detail of your communications     “spying?”
         Like that’s pretty lambasting for kid                Who’s crime-
      -Wait            what did he even do?
       [Think Yoda’s             snooping again,]
         Mean-while
           Anakin               Sky-     Walker
             That’s a pretty              posh looking hotel                           (Makes sense                 for a senator)
          -Coruscant
        Okay,              so he’s not there,
         “Lengthy,”
       Isn’t he supposed to be            her bodyguard?
       Lead-ing
      Leading fecking,            what,  mate?
         - Get a                    Boomer Bait promotion?
       Because they treated him like                                                     shit last time I checked
      Like          he’s        below        Obi-Wan-
“Now      he    returns,”
  Okay,
  Clearly wasn’t that    important
    With his        wife...
    Yeah...
    Did the      writing get any better(?)
    (Preferably not quasi(?)
    ....
  -Anakin
   - Oh
    ...
    Hasn’t       spoken          a         word
...But
     I         guess        that’s        Ok-ay
   What       do      they      have        in    common?
   What          do       they        like,           About          Each          Other?   
      (I mean             they’re going to have to spend some time in silence
        Looking adoringly              At the               Other                  Person-               Talk-               About                  The               Thing...
           Where’s                  the                 vibing?
             Dinner...
             Padme’s                  tone                      is                   way                      too                   uneven...
                  And                          A                      Question?
                     I’ve                     covered                       before                         but..
                    Questions                          are                          sign                           of                         distrust
         (She              seems                 ner              vous)
                         If                           you                           trust,                           your                          partner                             says                           their                              thing                             you                             say                            yours                                . . .                            And you just                                vibe
                           (Or you                                don’t)
                             Cargo                                 Freighter
                              Military                                transport
                                See?
                                   Dis                                      -trust
But   more   import   -antly        how       are       they                                ....      Avoiding        the        war?
       Like dude I’m pretty sure this was           tox before it              began?
           To abandon                  your productive                            And account                   -able                    Res-                     Pons                    Ibil                    ities?
                Like, even                 as-suming,                    (In the best                  cir- cumstances)                      They’re                           Entertain-ment                       focuses                        purely,                       Shouldn’t                        they                        have                       waited                         for                          the                        all                        clear?
Their      Gen    Leader       to       fix       everything       up?
  (There are blaring signs here that say         things are not alright,)
                                   These                                        two                                        are                                        far                                        from                                      innocent                                          (And por-)                                           Point                                          being                                             there                                             should                                              be                                               a                                               lot                                                Less                                            “Innocence”                                                Lot                                                 More;                                                 “We                                             shouldn’t                                                   do                                                     this,”                                                   To                                                     “I                                                   Don’t                                                   Care,”                                                       To                                                     “So                                                        -Bad,”                                                          [On                                                           Both                                                             Sides                                                          - Looking at you                                                               Amidala’s                                                                Char-                                                                ara                                                                  cter                                                                 Iza                                                                 Tion-                                                                  She’s                                                                   Not                                                                 Anymore                                                                   In-nocent                                                                     Than                                                                   Sky-                                                                    Walker-
                                                                    - In this af                                                                           -fair
                                                             And                                                                 harps                                                               should                                                                definitely                                                                  not be                                                                 playing
                                                               Over                       ��                                           one                                                                     of                                                                    the                                                                most                                                               severe                                                                rule                                                               break                                                                you                                                               can                                                               do
                                                          (Besides                                                               Gen                                                              -erational                                                               over                                                                     lay)
                                                         (It’s not                                                              cute)
                                                               It                                                                   isn’t                                                                    the                                                                 enabling                                                                       (Self                                                                        Less-                                                                power                                                                     of                                                                    love
                                                               This                                                                       is                                                                     purely                                                                   selfish                                
                                                            And should have clear “fuck society”                                                                 overtones (know                                                               ledg                                                                       ab                                                                       L                                                                     -e-
                                                                  [As                                                                   Adults.                                                                   ..]                                                                    . The     alter   -native         far        more      disturbin     g
   (A con-      versation      about        the          Over        sex       ualization           of      children-         And how         you      should      definitely           not         be      playing        harp       music        over        it
-is not a    con   -versation      I wanna       have with     this      movie
   But it won’t    commit     to      either        tone
 Dis-   turbingly!
  (Any way.     .)
   “It      blew       up”
Dude   you’re   supposed      to      be      making    sure     things      didn’t     stagnate      or         get       tox
 That should be   pain-     ted as a lot more malicious
Like;             “ oh yeah       ‘someone’      (Boomers          Or       (Corrupt)             Z-           Tried          to           kill         me            -         screw       holding        those            guys      accountable-             -        “Society’”        Can          deal            with                it”
        Hey               -                  that               was                        something                  -                  But              the             light             music               needs                to                fuck                 off                 (Very               Light-            Ly-            )           . . .
     Already premade?
           Then it   was-
         - Home-
          [Seriously what    was I supposed to get from that ?
         [Like her head bobbled  
         there was no emotion in eyes             [which is bad     considering she’s an adult 
 and should always have emotion                               in her.                      Eyes]
          That           “head bobbling           talking             when              spoken                 to...”    
          More befitting of a   child
        -Reacting   upon      given      orders-
   “Home?”
    Okay?
      Is Padme.. like     an arc    -h        it      ec       t?
  (That sounded like something straight out      of a    bad    parent        In    an       Adop      tion        flix)
   (If they were good      they wouldn’t         say it)
    And Padme        Is not a          bad par-        She’s         His         Wife (Bo     -omer          humor         what’s           the      difference         can          go          right            to hell,)
       Else- 
     Nothing             (?)
        It’s the place you            live (?)          Why would you     name it?
      (And some     thing so impersonal,”
       Like not like the        “home that builds other homes,?”            (Since Padme =        Model arch       -tect?)
      It’s           Fine...
     (Just don’t know       why’d         you’d         name            it        that.)
    Naboo       Am-        bassador
   ....   
    Also
   Right    next to the glass fucking windows,
 Oh,        God,
  They’re still       supposed to be secret        right?
  (Like, writers,        The           Scen-ery                Is contra-       dicting the themes)
     Like just the,  “they’re were supposed to keep the     secret,”
     Then they should meet           In close         quarters no light
      For thematic           appropriateness,
        Perfect
       Did the Ambassador...              Give the senator.                  Clothes?               (Like isn’t that               seriously               offensive?)                Like;                “I don’t like your clothing          style?”
           Like that’s pretty assumed authority        right      there
   (Unless        they        were        really        close       friends)
      Still..   
      Ballsy..
      Five        Blossom        Bread
   “Her        Spec        -ial           Ity,       Wouldn’t         it         be        her       preference-
   ?
 Cause        she’s         not      cooking        Also this is feeling very      Boomer.   right       now;         The        Wife         Cooks;       
   (But (as) if there’s anything wrong with cooking        if she likes cooking         and likes         cooking      for all      others?
    What are we going to get any      further    el-aboration         on        that?   
‘Cause it feels      kinda boomer      right now,
   Special-          Ity
 Special- ty       Again,    stop questioning her      and let her do what makes her happy
   Like seriously      You should be so head over heels     that you would listen to them talk about      nail polish for an hour.    (As in,      hearing them talk about paint dry would be interesting
  Because they are so        fecking            cool
      That’s          how           heavy        in the vibes         you should           be-
      (Also what did the ambassador     give      her.. .?)
    Makes...
     Except for galactic     peace
 [Boo]
[I know that was a     low blow,]
  “Little,”         Oh          No
 “Every        Day-”
     Who ordered the small been to cook?
      Just...wanna .. to talk,
        And why is bring(ing) that tox                into the relationship            seen as a good thing
    (Also productive interest surfaces     at 22, excessive after)
  So, how young is        22?
   (Because ...     )  
   “I’ve         Been          . Sav-”
     Spec            Ial..
      You            Know...
      That’s          almost          ad-orable              What was          that           transition?
        Bread.         Then             Chest           Hug...
        Shouldn’t             she be            getting                  the               bread?
            (And the               cute-ness                  come from them enjoying it together?)
             With                   You
             Dude. ..            that was the moment           you wanted to lighten up               on the tone                  .      (Not to the point of        being not adult,)  
   Put in a dreamy       complementary       ‘I could hear you          .. talk about, anything”
     Special             ....   
     [WHAT ABOUT THE Bread?!]
      I’m sorry,           but there was a lot of opportunity            for cute
             But the tone...              was off
              And-
 [His pupils need to be wider         And the focus needs to be on that
   That he’s so in love with          Amidala
     (Whether             it’s             right or wrong,)
        Her            Lan-guish              Ing                In                Un-              Con              Dit               Ion               al                (Romantic)            Love            More   
      Relax  
    -ed
 Okay. .
  That’s           a   building
  And       a    reminder           ...
   Of        all      the-        -            They’re     enabling
   One      less        day        to fix it            .....
   Bank-ing      (Bank-he?                If         so,         good       consis-      tency-)
Discover        the truth    in this    matter      we must
   What does that     have to do with the           other         Guy?
     What..
    Yoda..     must          Snoop
  “I         Couldn’t,”
    Obi-won          is down         to        snoop              ...
    Sen         a-tor  
 Am-idal            a
     Good for       her
  Not getting pulled into this       Jedi bullshit      ‘Padme,...
 ‘What..
‘(muffled) Weneedyoutospyon      Clovis..
    Change            her        mind
        (Assumed auth-)
            Hella                      Tox. .
  [Also, do the Jedi order          have a literally           no other         senators?
Like no one else      semi-willing to        Partake           In their  degeneracy?
(I mean   good for    them.)
 Summon
  ...
 He just left...
        All-night
He’s on vaca
  Or     shore leave
[Well at least he temporary went    No Contact with the abuser ]
  Where..
  He’s Amidala bodyguard      , right?
  [like I know it’s implied that he went to    a bar or something..]
 But       Like.. .
 Who’s watching    Amidala             then?
 On    the clock?
 [In front of    a huge freakin window
 [Scenery          /=/         Reason           To          Tor          -ped            O
     You         have           to         pace     yourself,      writers!
     Save the art         for the dramatic             Thematically              appropriate               scenes!
           You’re hit-          ting that button          every five seconds !
            Yeah
     Standing beside a HUGE fucking window-
           [i’m sorry the window-             thing really bothers me-]
           Mostly because it screws              with the rest of the story!
           [they shouldn’t be I                    love our life and                      everything                       involved                          in it,”                           This                         should                              be,                            “Oh I wish we could go                           public, we’re so screwed if the                             Jedi catch us,
                         It’s all about the                           yearn-ing                            [From                               my knowledge                           of the genre,]
“Me too,”
  I love    keeping      our love a secret from everyone else      From    everyone else-
   Only getting to see each other   on rare occasions
  And living in terror        About my          Narc...      Authority   Ass-   umers..
    Finding out about our relationship     and     shaming       me
  [Great society       we live in,]
    [Of my own       negli        gence..]
   *Beep*
   *Just       Not       -ic-ed
   Jedi
   Yeah,  missed that detail
   Like missing a lot of unrequited yearning               [For- bid            den-]
        Love        In this      forbidden                 “love” story
Supposedly
 Seven..
  So, why wasn’t it beeping   nonstop?
  Also, Dick   move
  Rais-ing him      on break    just to get some   tea..
 De        -lay
  Yeah, we’re just gloss-ing over that?
  That Obi-Wan will literally send a         police brigade       If     Anakin       (An      Adult)            Doesn’t answer     him          (On        Break)
  Damn,      That’s        tox
 Must’ve    been        a     shit   childhood        -      With   Mister   authority   assumer   over   there       . . .    I’ve      been      Ducking..  ...
 Yeah that’s real    tox
      Assumed authority
     Expecting things         of others          (Apart           from         basic        human       decency)
       There’s too much        tox           in this scene         for me to cover
       But           seriously,          Yeet          the          authority            assumer..
      Angry. .
     As you   should     be..
 At the authority      assumer.. ...
   “don’t think you could read my   mind,”
   ...yeah
     (Yeah, but then again this is a relationship you’re supposed to be                vibing
       Still a dick move he was like I know what        you’re thinking
       But saying           it isn’t going to               fix the         problem             ...
       Per-formative           statements                 Towards                  The                 Abuse-
            Isn’t going   to fix the very                  clear problem
If you want a healthy relationship     you’ve got a kick     them
  And      act    accountably
      Still a dick move             that he tried that though
     “You shouldn’t take this      personally,”
       We’re taking in this relationship             as the world around us         burns...
         Where               you         expecting           roses,
                                             [i’m sorry but this really doesn’t work in                                                     an unrequited love story                                                          (For-bidden]
                     “Duty   comes    first,”
             Except                  with                 society                     and                accountability
               (He’s                    not                   noble)
                   It should be more so                       in jest                          When he says                        “duty calls”                          Having                          noticeably                           flaun-ted                          the rules                           knowledgeabl   -y
                      Every note                          sardonic
                             Urgh
                                        [They tried to play it                                                 straight.]  
                     Urgh
           [This is just a badly         written love story,]
                                      They’re                                            both                                          adults
[Or   should be      if you don’t      wanna get into      sexualization       of          children         territory,]
                                               Neither is   in-   nocent
                                                          Either                                                                is                                                                un-knowledgeable
                                                             Or                                                               Should  
                     Ack
Dis-  -gus       t-       ing         - 
   No     Emotion! 
   None       what-         so- ever!
     [That’s          how             you          know               -                 it’s a good       love story                 -     S/
 Highly,
  .....  .
....
 Okay..
   Sorry...  I’m late
    ....
  ....
 Senator
Amidala
   But      she won’t answer our calls...
Some-one
   Yeah there’s like     50 other      senators             They         all         said        no...
   ...
 Gen
  Good        Friend(s
  Seriously,        that’s not suspicious
   Having non-mutual      friends is pretty common
   As is   Ana-kin not knowing this
  ...
 Obi-Wan   knock it off
   You don’t     know anything
  Nor was Sky     -walker’s
 Be-havior
 Anything different than a general       who just takes       An     advanced     interest        In       Targets
   Point        Being;        This is a council of      snoopers that behavior isn’t a notable
Nor   worthy of the   eyebrow     raise. .
Know them, why would you
Cause, he’s a general?
 Like, seriously
Is social   studies      forbid        den         In       The       Council         Of       Snoops?
  (They are treating this        way more severe than it actually is]
  Also Anakin’s screwed if   the council of hypocrites      Only   allows elder -ly members.    to join    in the   gossip   circles
Asked
Yoda’s        A      Snoop.       -      Refuse.      -
  Emotionally    manipulate   ...
Your     girl   ..friend       ....
 Conv-
 Gas       Ligh        t-       Ing
Women       (Yes I use this because the      innocence tone            literally only             Acts up             More            Sever            Ly-            Around           Her)
   Can’t        make          Their         Own         Dec-         isi          On              -          Er
      I’m sorry but the whole tone is just         wrong                And none of this is       pres-        ented as a bad thing
   Tone is      kept neutral         As if Anakin       still beholden to their     orders        And not     accountable       for their own actions
  [and it’s been like this the       whole episode...   
  Like Amidala somehow the innocent flower that needs to be protected and corrected from her decisions
     -and none of it is presented       creepily
    [with the correct music choice or like this is toxically       en-courage         Ing          Som     e          one          to       be       a      dick         to      their   spouse    (Boomer-        term-       Partner)
 Okay       -    Al        right        -     Time        for-
   That is more like       an     adult         ...  ��
   But     know        ledgeably         and intentionally   tox
   In 
    “Good-
   [Boomer!
     Dear           Frick,
     What
    Cloveis
    Why is Amidala     acting like      an       adult?
  While Skywalker can’t even pull off   human?
  Neither the     knowledg       ability of an adult
   Nor        The      un-accountability       of a child
   [An adult      would know        why she was angry            And         Any feigned ignorance                     Toxic                 Flirt
    Here     Anakin‘s portrayed as too Stupid to Live  
          [For a              Sentient]
     [This is a         Boomer comics          level stupid,
       Like;        “Haha,        I don’t know           why my wife’s mad,”
       [despite both being human and that being a          backhanded insult to both yours and hers humanity  
       -And                    Developed
      Sentience
          As an attempt to avoid            accountability for              toxicity
Future does    n’t find it cute      mate
..Colleague
Reason    -able
  “Old        Friend,”
   Dude,       stop
    Gas-      lighting-
   To- gether
   Oh yeah you can’t have male       friends
    [Or     friends of         any     distinction]
    How
   Okay well at least he’s   acting as a bodyguard
   So that    line might      make sense
  That he’s worried      for her safety
  And...
    Accompanying            her  
         As              Such
Spy-ing
   In the    Council     chamber
   Me...
   ...
Council...
....
[Accoun-t-       ability!]
   That-
   Bull
   Also that’s      just    gossip
  That  
   -
   You know- if she wants to play       she said he said so be it
  Less so,        With the tone       refusing to hold Anakin accountable
    And Amidala only acting like an adult,          For the           “shrew-ish wife,” joke                  To make Anakin’s actions,                   Which it refuses to hold to the same standard and adult tone,                    Seem less terrible                     And Male-                       cious
                  Him
This is an open   aud-itorium   with people      clearly     floating     around,
   You-
  Loud
   ....
   -
  “Let         me,”
    ...
   The        writers...
     Didn’t earn        that...
     .....
     He seems         like a nice guy  
      [Like, yeah          standard           assumed              authority, but            personally he’s at least decent]
        If just a          mix match
       Okay never mind             it just got bad
         His eyes
         Weird shiny                 Thing
             Nope
            -Wine
              This                   just                 got                 power
              Run-
              Not              in-tentionally                    Good
           Po                   Liti                     Cal                  Definitely                  political,
              Nothing                   ‘bout                       that
Both
Nope
Lady, red flags,       Red flags!
  This is more like        the con       versation         between        Amidala and         Anakin
    Should          be         like
      If          the       writers             -          Had         the        balls            -          To write him like an         adult
     Not
 “Owo, too         Stupid             To           Live          Abom.        Un-less           Angry,”
    Nope
     You
    Ena-          bling
     [oh and ob-      viously slightly less evil,]
      Old - Times
        Don’t            Know
That was almost nice          If it,        didn’t completely dropped the ball        On the power thing
     Now it’s just         spaghetti
      Inconsistent          Character             reaction
       Okay...
      Right
On   one   hand     Anakin    has   nothing     to fear     because        dude      clearly         has more interest        in power    than his wife
    Padme
    That’s different
Dude,      Chill
  While the characterization has been        inconsistent and shaky at best
    Dude, clearly
   Again,
   Power
   Dick
    I fecking       hate both of them
Dude,      Doesn’t       Care         That        Much
Being       “a   more,     ‘I can’t       believe    the        condition      of the      airplane,”
   Than
   “Feck’in        Don’t         Mind          Me,”
    Like Anakin is being a   paranoid      dick
    This dude.     Isn’t great   is toxic in his ambition.     Of auth   ority.... over   people
  And     Padme...
  This is just a     toxic     mess         . .
 Ready
Dude, doesn’t have his own ship   and   Captain        ...
 Also, so      they’re taking   her   ship       ...
That’s nice-    (The only initi-ative        This movie     has taken     other         than   portraying       Amidala         as a           shrewd          wife          —-    
      I        mean          the      insult,        Not any-        thing positive        about         being      shrewd        - -
   Fly       Ship
 - - -     What?
  Like is it a greeting thing?
  [Because dude      has shown      no interest]
    Except        power
   And Anakin is being way too   judge-mental
 Clearly,  Nothing       Behind         It
  And   Amidala        can        handle     herself
  (As can     any      adult)
  What-
  Ass-hole
   [put the   tri-umphant music back-       That wasn’t        cool]
  Whelp
  Blast        It
 Yeah,  if I suddenly had my arms and legs      restrained-
Also - I think     Amidala’s starting to pity him
 [And      I am too]
  Yeah like dude          a little too ambitious
  You’re tormenting him
  Or something that didn’t even seem    re-latively serious
 And could’ve just been    kind of some weird    custom
  [See-         Ing       as      dude      doesn’t         even      seem     remotely    interested,]
   She’s       Tr-ying
 Aw,      That’s        Nice-
    At least he has some humor
  Unlike,  
Anakin
   ,Whelp
    Right
      Looks           like               a           de-ranged          superhero                 -            Aight
        Right
        Also?
       What?
Trophy      Wives?
       Pri-viledge
         That’s-                nice
             -
            Dod
          Senator
            Nice
            Nice
             ...
 Fresh       S tart..
    What?
That was      Forced
   Hope        ...
 Clovis        ...
  Second         Chances-
       Again- what did he do?
    Like, episode insists on         lambasting this guy...
     On a Rumor                             Mill...
    And         something that happened when they were                                                                      kids.?
       (I know it’s implied                           relation-ship)
           But, seriously?
        “he didn’t take it well?”
           Dude, has shown no                                        interest
                                       Being about the                                            power
I half- convinced     “not taking it well,”        Was dude eating like a     pint of ice cream..
   And, y’know
   Just break         Up
    Don’t      continue             to         lambaste           the           guy
       Over            “Yoda”              The              Gossip’s      Pre-       Sence-
           Years                Later
             Tox.
  Senator
   Good,       everyone’s       being        friendly,
   [Don’t fuck          it up       Anakin,”
    Se-rvants
    Oh  
     My          Bad-
      So         the          uniform
      Bus-iness
        Sus
      [but then again             he did          explicitly say        that             was why he was coming,”
    And dude pretty smart for not wanting to be 
   gang-ed up                 on
                  So inn-ocent                        Enough
By
See, everything’s    completely     fine..
 Nice..
  See,     Normal
   Droid-
  Never mind-
          But, seriously
How is that          a problem?
  Specifically        Amidala’s        business?
      When She doesn’t help stop the war either?
 Also yeah     way to invite the senator  to your meeting..
Here
  He       Right..
   3po
  Walk         ...
  Spy?
  Also;  
  Good       for       her
  What         ...   
   Why?
    ...
    ...
   Okay          ...
  Cy-
  Showing       some        initiative-
    Good          for
   Lighting         Does-           n’t         necess     -arily        Make        him        evil..
    ...
   Deal
   Valid
    Again..         Terr-          Ifying      wolf cub
      Dude has no            teeth
        Nor energy           for what         he’s             saying
      Clovis
        He          has             a           point...
   .Planet
    Again he’s an absolute     .doofus
     ...
    Whelp
     She didn’t see         that?
      Or hear          that?
       Like, they don’t have           any guards?
       Here-
     Ain’t the            Boss
       Like, seriously        according to them            she just got lost;
       Were you expecting her to stay in           her bedroom?
      Lon-ely
         ?
         My             Dear
         That’s               Very                 Nice-
           Also,                they              legit               hid           behind                the             columns                  ...
              In                their                   own                 house...
                After telling her           they were having a meeting
              This is a     “Did    you    get   lost?”     reaction            -worthy
    Not         “Hid,         Pillars,”
    Room
    “Dressed           for dinner,”
        That’s kinda             dick move
  Unless...    it’s a custom..
    Excuse
     Why        only         him?
     Dinner
    Seriously         that’s just -       particularly      bad negotiations-        Reactions-
     Right
    Shh
Maybe I’m missing something..
...
I feel
Clovis
  Have          To
    They’re going to sell him        out?
    Weak        -ness
     Dude has just been   plain   friendly    this entire time
       Like             No             In-
       Poison            Amadela
          Geez               -us
          That went from                  1 to 5!
             Why?
             Why not just plant the     plans on him?
               Also that’s not necessarily a     rom-antic thing                          Like doesn’t matter   who’s before me  
                 I think I would care   whether a person lived or died
                 Even if   -grudgingly 
                 (That’s a                      human!)
                  Anti-dote
Again,      It’s still leaves the    rest     of whatever organization he’s in
   And the concept of “duress,”           To       disqualify it
    (Like so      far he’s just a spokesperson        ; A Senator,
     Yep,
    Whelp,
       ?
   Oh it’s that     ration      thing     . . .
  In-side
   Okay,  Anakin took a chill pill
   Good,
    Whelp
     Okay,
Senator
   Light        Drink
   Oh,         It          Is         A      Custom’s         Thing,         ...
    Good           Friend          ...
    Too       Disney
And with that weird   marriage thing in the back    
*Spoof      -y
 Acceptab    ly-
 Just      Stand-     ing
Helpless-     Hapless     (More   accurate)
  Drink      -      With       Me-
   Aight
   Whelp
    Are we sure Clovis isn’t going to get drunk/       Poison
   -Shit  
   -
   Whelp-
  -Nice
  -Aight
   Medic      -
  To
   Doofus
   Look          At        Him;
Tumblr media
Face of evil
    Feckin Doofus..  
 Palace
     Nothing            Too            Bad..
      Truly..  
       Nice
But,      also;        Shouldn’t         take her      to a secluded area
      After             Sick..
      Night?
     Order?
    Au-
   Sure-
   Yes
A little weird           but ok
     Right-
    Right-
     -          ...
  Good for you
   ....
Why?
  Never mind jerk       Anakin is back?
   Senator      Clovis
   Private         Tour
    No      it was just a tour,”
   Everything there      was pretty friendly
    Anakin’s gonna         ....
   There      it is.. though     actually sounds more like a guard.
 Not too     Bad...
Warn her
 *Advise
*Not too      bad   
      ...
     Aight...
      Wait...didn’t it        already?
     Returns
     Argh-
    Wait that’s not disgust     that’s headache
           Okay...
Climate      Change  
  ....
Ahah      ha-
(I’m   sorry,     that’s      so out     of place         ... 
 It’s      Hi-     Lar-        Ious
   Back...
    Nice..
      ...
     Nope
   Aight          ....
  “I mean that    is childhood friend
   Or friend
    Except.
    Factory...
      It
     Jedi
   What-
    Seems-
  That’s       Nice-
   Okay
    Not sus.        picious at all?
  . .
  Padme
   ...
   What?
   [just put the drink down...
     Say           That
Also hugs can be      platonic...      (No              Rom...)
     Also good      skipped that     miscommunication       ...
   Aight
  Racing          ...
   Even Dude knows when        to        Back          It...
   Now...
   Where did that come     from?
   Like, seriously,
    What-
    Dude- She’s drugged
   Padme-
   Whelp-
   Ouch
  (Take care of yourself      before you take care of others         moral)
   The tox        ...literally killed her
    Good,
    Whelp
    Neat,
    Okay...
    Weird
    Boundaries are     good...
   Medical       droid..
    Smart       decision
   Ex-
   Good-
  Cap-
  Ack  nowledgemeant-
   If       I-
   Stupid plan-
   -
   No     Matter
   They’re   negotiators-
   Holo-
   Poi-      Son     Ed-           Your-
    Sen-
    Spy
    No shit
   How did he know that?
   Also;
Tumblr media
 Adorable
   [The Republic Senator    I invited here                Might            not            like           the        Separatists?          Impossible!]
       No-
     Dude’s bordering on Himbo             (Corrupt)          But             Still             Trust              -ing
       Right?
       Okay. .
       Right
       ...
     Oh
     ...
    She’s      dying..
    Oof
    That’s        Feck’in         Tame. .
    Leave
     Also, hey          He did         get the          antidote..
      Good..
      Library
    Holo-gram
I honestly     -feel for the guy
   Like, yeah he’s corrupt-        But so is     Padme      In terms   of       finishing the          war
With- his one thing-       Being      Friend       -ship
   (Which       Padme         likely       knew,  
   And      she    betrayed           it
   Like,        that’s      gotta      sting          -       More than the Senate    /Sep     art-       Ist-     -
  Spy
  Dude is acting pretty     tame-
  -Republic
   sides-
   Are
   Yeah..
  Still betray   ..ed his friendship
Like,       Those...        A different      layers of     shitty          .
 Suppor-         ting a different sports      team
   Steal-         Ing         Your         Friend’s         Merch,           To         Lambaste him in front of a crowd          ...
   (Best       comparison        I can       come up        with..)
     Stole..
   Senate
    Great
   ...
   Scheme
  Dude, It was a manu   facturing business
    Not like-
  Dude, like how many     clone    insta-llations do they have?
     He’s at least not          directly           Screwing            them over  
        Imm-ed      - iately
       Get           Away
       Dude, they were just talking about             their emotions...
      “Live,”
      Jedi from        -1 to 10-
     Dude
  Ha ha
   Dude just stands there
  Like,        What?
    Who-
     Me-
  Yeah-
  Don’t       get me           wrong?
     But...
     A        random pilot just came bursting into his room
    Told him not to     touch
    (Which           he         wasn’t-
     You’d- be a little     ‘who the heck is this guy?’
     Why?
    Should-
    Sen-a-tor
     Wrong-
     She’s          Fine?
     Now?
    Like, to him        she’s just tired?
    Nothing seems        noticeably off. .
     Dy-ing
    The       Medical droid?
    Whaaaaat??
       Take        Coursant
     Dude, she’s been dying for like half an hour-
     That-
      He’s trying to be a good friend-
     Out-
   Dude, he just gave you    advice on how to get the antidote
 Ain’t       Inter-      Sted-
   Disc
   Return-
   And I’ll       get
    Fair-
    Good
  [Honestly that comes across very concerned.]
   Like imagine some random pilot dude      Just-           Broke      into the room
   And said he was going to fight a dude     with       clearly     shady dealings        (Poison       up      his sleeve)
    And very    likely guns...
   You’d        Be like dude ‘hold up
(Note; Toxin      Logic- where        Author     -ity       Assum     -ed         Means    So     me-    thing,
 I still   believe    they      could     both     take    this     guy)
   But     Re-       ason- able         (Technically)
   You can’t
    Yeah
   Like,       Dude,        I know         You        Have        Some    Acc-        But          This         Dude         Does-          n’t
     -          -  
   “Kill,”
    Nor-mally,          I’d say      ‘accountability’           But they          actually  made him a         relatively good sympathetic           villain
   Like, yeah        that’s true         He could’ve       (Should’ve)         But       this        is        now     toxin vs. toxin        (aka.)
    Like, already, he screwed himself and humanity over,        And         that’s            Kinda               Sad...    
        You can’t help hope that they get    held accountable            soon
        To         stop         dig-           ging              ...            The            Hole               ...   
       They          dug          for            him           (self)            ...
     Not helped that he doesn’t really do anything evil
      (Moderately upset button (N     -ot Be-zerk) when          Padme betrays his friendship
       —-
        Still...
      Her life..
      Aww.
    Good friend         Clovis,
     ‘Love           Her,’
   Pla-tonic
   (What?    love can be platonic,      Dude     hasn’t shown any      real interest,”
     (Seriously Padme has used the                “lonely” line so many times                Dude’s only            response;  
         Cool, let’s go on a trip             together (Bond                              -ing)
          Cool, let me take you to your              room (non- sexual)
                       No interest
                       -No energy -Neat
      Lot          -Dot
     Come          with           me-
     Quickly-
      Good-
   -Neat-
   Right-
   Whelp
   -Clovis
     There are witnesses-
       Just got him out of a           ultimatum-
        Moved-
    Auth-orities
    Coursant
     “Leave,”
      Whelp-
      Dead-             Damn,           Clovis,           Fucking,           1/10
      Clovis,   
     SNAPPED
       Boy’s  
        done    
       fucking  
       around          - Don’t mess   
       With his friends-
[Seems     more   Anakin]
          Pay this
           Total             Weak-lings
           Aww.
          Even then             he’s nice
         [Though              sounds              like a           goblin...]
         Aight
         ...
     ...Mind
        More               so voice. .
          -Aight
          Clovis- do            n’t fuck               Around.
           Right
           Dick-
           Whelp-
         Sur-vival               Skills
    Dude          He did that under stress         of his friend dying-
      Dick           Move-                 Whelp-
      Body guard was nowhere to be seen
     With the   - eye path
     There
     Whelp-
     There            He              Is.
      Good.
      Fair
     Neat-
    Dick-
   Sorry-
 “sorry, sorry for what?
   Anakin wasn’t right about anything-
     Isn’t deserving         of an apology-
    ....
   But, They already knew it was       there...?
   Success
   No shit
   Whoa  
   WHOA
   WHOA!
   Can-      We          Play-             That              Back-
 “ I made you doubt me,”
   What kind of              -gaslighting-?      
             ?
           - - -   Er-
       The first                     part          absolute     boomer mess   
        Middle;   
          Er-   
        Clovis’s             Struggle              With          Friend-               Ship?     
         Al-right   
         End?          Nope In general,
    The tone           is a      confused mess
                    * Clovis                      a saving grace
0 notes
Text
Clone Wars    Episode 10
        Lair of Grievous
An interesting     episode title
 For sure
 [Quote]
  Most powerful is he who controls      his own power
I really    Like       This      Quote
Being a fan of ... accountability
Notably
“Vice      Gunroy
   Escapes,”
Ahhhhh
   I mean?
 The        Episode      Before       Was      (Marginally)         Better        ....         
   To         It’s    Pre      de   cessor
 Why     do       I         Get        The         Feeling             This          Is        Gonna           Be           A         Long        Run..?
    Any       way
    That’s         Going
    Only       that         one         Guy
    No...       -Body         Else
   Uhm
  Kit        Fisto
  What?!
  Okay
 Guess
   His      design        Looks           Neat
    And          No         Ahsoka!       (The         Bad       Parts.)
“Gun-”
 “And     Return    Him       Just-”
Ena     bling!      Where       he’ll      be     put        in      a     cell       with   other     inmates   that   don’t    deserve     that
And       a     distraction      from   reckoning       with       the     consequences       of     his     actions
(And    the     hope     of     getting      out)
“ I know we’re in the middle of     nowhere,”
 I like this   guy
He sounds cool
Has a personality
(An over involved        one?”
But generally good
This might help my     nerves     after     last     episode
Very     chill
Nice
- Oh spoke     too     soon
So has your old Padawan       Dolved
???
Seriously, does everyone keep track of everyone else’s       Padawan
Obi-Wan, it made sense because he’s an   over involved       dick
But, seriously
Shouldn’t that     be   left    To   Yoda as the grand high   Jedi?
He is the guy that okay’s these requests, right?
It’ll   be   great   to   see   Nadar   again
Dude,     he’s   busy
“ i’ll   transmit      the   coordinates      for      the     ren      dez      vous     point,”
Hey     they   got   Ahsoka right!
Maybe     this     episode     won’t   be     a     headache
(Also they just casually    help him      stalk    his apprentice?
 Like,     that   should     be     his   choice
Like yeah  two heads are better than one but that doesn’t mean he agrees   to be a two- headed dragon
Dick   move
And-       It’s    Gone        (to be fair,       it’s only       slightly         too     much         Tone         Than      Ne    cess     ary
“Yet,”
  No
“Good hunting”
  NO!
Well....         It’s       Over,
Okay....
Nice     backgrounds,
This is a really neat   land
Oh, now     they’re     landing
Oh,     cool
Fog     -gy
Neat
Po   -or     Be     -epy              Ro      -bot
 He   can’t     see     any       -thing
“you’ll     be    fine      R6,”
You   have   legs
Not   pleas   ed
Hav   ing         A               Good      Time
“Nadar,”
*Bows*
Dear   frick   who   invited   him   here?
Like,     Dude
Even     if     the     Gen   shares     the   same   inspiration     as   you,       you   still   have     to     obey         by    the   rules     of       tox
 Aka   you   don’t     get     to   be    a   dick   just   because     it’s      a     differ     ent      gen
You   get   kicked       to     the   accoun   -t- ability     curve,         just      as   well
Walk                Ing        into            Some’s      bus    -i      ness      un   warrant   ed    And   un    -ask-      ed     For     Is      Tox
  And     then,           to    follow       it      up,      with       hey          you        did        well       on the           test          we make         you        take!”
    To     prove        we     can’t     assume    authority        over      you
 [Jedi   master     ship         I     believe]
  I’m surprised dude doesn’t say      ‘yeah       your     stupid   club         sucks,”
 “ i’m     sorry        the      war    pre      -vented     me       from   seeing     your      train    ing   through     to    the   end”]
wait   dude’s        Mentor     bitched    out     and      he      still      had       to      take         the         test?!
Murder      is       now      on      the      table!*
   Note; this is a joke
    I   never   advocate   death   over   account   ability
But, geez       Dude got     screwed      over
   You     were      missed    master
 How    old       is     he?
 I’m   going    with   adult-
Knight     Ok      he    has   enthusiasm   
We’re   all   good!
Then    let’s    have     a     look
Allow       me     to     show        the     way
Trans   lation;      Stop    ass    um      ing    
au     tho  rity
Good     for      him
Pretty    pow.
Also   yeah   just   casually   found
“Charming,”
That’s      a   back   -handed   compliment
Like   calling   something   “quaint”
 Dude     if     you’re   going   to      be    on          this             Quest,        Be      Nice,
 Look   after    the   ships
Oh     those     poor      guys
What       happens     to them?
  [Also     ships?]
Okay
 So,     Sith     mon     astery
No      Guards
It’s a Sith   mon    as     tery     surrounded   by     fog
Clearly       they      were      going       for      stealth
[And     it       Is    pretty      re       mote]
The   ent       rance     looks   sealed
 Yeah      It’s    Old
Possibly     -came in the      back    entrance
 And hoped       no one     wou ld    suspect
[We   specialize     in   ma   king   entrances]
Should     n’t     Dude          (Jedi)     Know       That
  Their,       Jedi
   Also        yeah       the      place     clearly      built       for    stealth
    Let’s       bomb       open        the       front       door
     Not        like        they         could       sneak        out            a          back          way
     This           will        make         less         noise
      Thank            you      common          sense
       But,              It           will            still             allow           them                 a              lot              of             time               To              Es              cape
          Like;    
This why staking out is     important
Patience     the both        of you
 THE      NERVE!
  Dude       he got here         First!
   You        wanna         help?
  Be     back up!
 “ A second look     usually      pays       off,”
   On hand,     yes- scouting      ahead       is      good
  On the    other-
   DICK           way        of        put      ting       it
   You      want        to        explore?
    Do          it      your        self
  You      just     assu      med       author        ity       over        a  wh-          ole      group          of      people
      Stopping             them              from             doing              their              thing
[I’m     fully       expec        -ting        him         to       snap          at         five
Like he’s being   pretty   enab-     ling
But   Dude’s       being         a      prick
  [pla  -ying by the        rule of      “But,”         Inst         ead         Of       “Or,”           Or        “And,”
   During          their      re    latively       func   -tional   mission
[dude     never     said      he    couldn’t      blow      up        the        mon     astery
  Just    stated         the fact         and        went        about          his           biz
A nice     factor
 “What’s       this,”
    A      stone
   Bull         -shit
 Whelp
   Smug        Ass
    You        smell         that?
 Arro   gance?
[let him     get    caught     in     a      trap]
“ smells        like     droids,”
 Metal      Does      -
 It’s     too dark to see      anything
   There’s       white       bulbs
Also     [Forgot to     mention],      Chek       Ov’s         Gun?
[For     the    Gun]
 Whelp
  They          Have        Lights
 [Also,            Dark       side      shadowing]
   Whelp
    Hey         at least        there’s not as much point
     Whelp
[I sense     there’s something     here]
 Yeah?!
 Was          that       not          the whole point?
 Whelp,
 A rusted     out      old      factory
   Whelp
    Poss-          Ibly
    Watch-           Ing
    “Ssh,”
      You         sure        about         that?
    Whelp
  “Well     that was   some thing,”
  ��Jedi,         you gonna            do anything      about that?
    Whelp
    Dude          Taking         point
     Aga       -in
   Whelp
 Ordering      someone else’s     troops
  [I seriously hope        that       comes to bite him         in the ass]
     Roger          Roger
     Crud         it’s the moon                             clones!
No,      just droids up the stairs
Neat
They     don’t see     that?
 Whelp
 Vice   Roy
What’s    going          on
  They     robots;      they’re        already     designed      to protect     you
Also;        BAIT!
The Jedi        are here
 Trap!
Also they’re     walking         side-by-side      Nice
 That’s     totally        someone      else     I       call        it
 “ I know       they’re             near,”
    Voice    recording?
    Whelp
    They’re          right       behind         you
    What,       where        do   something?
 Def       -initely       a   diff      -erent   per   -son
Whelp
Taking    longer     than     expect     (ing)
“ Have      you ever killed a Jedi?”
 These    guys have time for    this
When   fighting to fully trained adult       Jedi
BS
Those basic      clankers
There the  basic mooks   that gets mowed down   in the hundreds
Bs
Good   Commentary
Bad     timing
Oh   now   it speeds   up
Good for   them
They   were   loo   -king   pretty   lame
 Whelp
Stop   playing    with     them!
Republic     Dogs
Restraint
Shut    the     fuck      up
  It took hours
 Because
“restr       aint,”
Against    
Mach      inery
 “ i’m   sorry     master,”
Don’t   apologize
  He’s     being       a     prick
  Like      even       by      my     stan-      dards
  [ignor-         ing        the       war]
     He      turned        a fun       exercise       again        st        machinery     boring
       By           micro         managing          every           one
    -carried         Away
     This          -dick
      Those that have power       should restrain themselves          from using it
     Against         machines?
       Dude....
      I stick pretty closely to one          moral code
       And there was nothing even remotely     reprehensible
       About           That           Deal
      Yeah,        if they were sentient
       But, they act just like normal   robots               Running on         prot      ocol           Alone
    Giv         ing        no       hint          to       sen     tience
    Your complaint        literally         comes          down
    To        chopping them into          one           or more pieces
        That’s            extremely              overcontrolling          and              overbearing
        Not to mention to       reprimand        someone....
       Dick            Move 
      That’s          the         point
    Least        it        had       dark       ened      lighting
 “Lieuten        ant,”
Called    it
  Also     way      to      go     dip shits
  You left a com that can be traced back to your exact location
   Whelp
  Okay...
  The tracking          beacon
   Yeah
They knew   we were coming
 And   didn’t send a trap
Instead sene a thing     that can be traced back to the location
Should’ve known   Gunnery wasn’t here
 No,   you should’ve exercised caution
Well at least he isn’t blaming-
Screaming
Yes   he   would’ve
That    was     the     first     tip    off
Also;     clones?
 I apologize     for the deception
 Bull shit
I apologize for my     colleagues
 -What?
  Dude
Seriously
 How easy are you trying to make it for them to find   you?
Count      Dooku  
Why      Dude?
Oh   Wait   enablers   
Guess   this is their     tea     sess
 Okay    hit us     with        that       snark   
    ....
   Light     Roast
   He   honestly     seems       so       sad
   What
    This          has        got          to            be          a        trap
    No shit
   “Catch         Some          One,”
   No   not the vibe I got
  Also     there’s      the     clone
 Wondered     where      he     went
  “To      Catch,”
  Whelp
  Wow
  What?!
   Well
  Looks      like     someone      likes    creepy      statues  
   (I know       there’s       likely       some       deep        lore)
   Shrine
   Dude this whole place looks like a   monastery/castle?
   You’re just        figuring out        This might be some     ancient     something     or another
 It’s on a foggy     planet,         Huge,       Em-bedding      And   desolute
It basically screams     basic cult
 “Warrior,”
 I was going with   barbarian, but   that   works
Whelp
Weird  
 Juices
Nope        Metal
 Grievous      Cult
This is the lair of   General Grievous
 Are you sure it’s not    a cult?
 Like   I don’t know
But    I wouldn’t keep     Reminders     of how I was        brutally dismembered       Around
  IDK
Maybe I’m just not that    extra
Whelp     Dear     Frick
Back     to    the   thing
Also   yeah   don’t     leave
Get    Rein    force    ments
(I know I roast   Plo   about this all the time)
But    A few more Jedi      Might be useful      Against       a guy      With   multiple   hands
(Or at least     tell them       Your       Lo      cation,         What         a       quick    summary)
  So   they know what they’re getting into   if you disappear under   “mysterious   circumstances,”
Oh, plane
Oh,   Grievous
Looks   like     he’s doing   good for   himself
Seems       happy
Never    mind
Guess where  ignoring that   thing
With     The     Comms
Stale      mate
He   honestly   looks    sad
You   have   lost   your   focus
I mean   so far   he hasn’t   won shit
I’m honestly     surprised   he got it this far
Especially considering you’re the   negative overinvolvement side
Sidious       demands   more     dramatic   results
“ can’t   believe   I came   back    to   working   here,”
More   dead   Jedi
Did    he    kill     a   bitch?
(I would say   good for him          but    death<   Acco untability-)
You   expect   victory     over     Jedi
   Is battle        Droids
   It does    require      a brain
   And     a willingness     to escalate
   Oof
 Seriously,     Just       leave
  Whelp
  These        must be   trophies
  Jedi      he’s   murdered
  Isn’t the str- the Ed-    braid!        Thing       only     for   Padawan’s      Like,        you      don’t      seem        to       have       one
   So yeah       Grievous     probably killed a lot of children
     There    are        so      many
  Maybe      don’t      send     children       to fight       your battles
 Why      Would Dooku        want to set a        trap for his best general
    Minion disposing       Tea?
     Also, why are you      playing         into it?
   Like,         fair enough,           don’t turn down free      Intel
  But,      you could set a trap         and          be doing other things
   Like hunting down     Vice Roy   it doesn’t     make     sense
 “Are       we     the     bait      or      is   grie      -vous     the   -bait,”
Good   question
Definitely grievous though
 He was clearly      offered up      as a   distraction     From   Vice Roy
We    must    consider     who the trap          is for
  Grievous
  You’re      supposed    to     take     him      out
 Your   droid     is   track       ing      an     in       coming      ship
  Here      we     go
Match       es       the   descrip     tion
 Keep     out      of    sight
Whoa   whoa    hold     up
Why    are    they    calling     and     answering      to     you
These     are   Raden’s   troopers
Dude    has   literally   hijacked     his    whole      life
Dude       just     kick     him
 Like   fourth    time    but   ,seriously;
Capturing        him     could      turn      the     tide     of the   war
They’re      literally   handing     him      to you      on a       silver       platter
Dude - needs a break
If      he doesn’t know we’re    here
Instantly down to     do    Dooku’s     Dirty     Work
 “We     need        a      plan,”
  That’s     what      he     just   said
Whelp
That’s   neat
Cool
Mood   lighting   works
Guards
Does he even know what   happened?
Or   did      Sidious/Dooku     set up      this   elaborate      trap     while       he      was      out
   And       he’s      just    coming     home      like;
   Why        is       the     place       so     heckin    trashed
��Whelp
 Dick
 Dude      didn’t sign up for this
  Welcome      home     general
  Half willing to give it to you
 Whelp
*Oh*
Cough        ing
 Don’t     let     him       cut     the     line
Whelp  
  Heck
 He’s       Trying
 “ Don’t make me destroy you,”
 If they try to foreshadow that ear     lier
   No            Bad
   Ter         rible
 Whelp
 Seriously    did they just    reattach his    legs??
 Also,           They really did not bring anything else to capture him   with
 Besides   cables
To      Grab
 And nothing to tie him up   with
How did they    think     this was going to   go?
Argh
Just got     slap   stick        ed
Haha
“Pack     him      up”           ?
  Whelp
  Dude       they      are     just   knocked     out
 Whelp  
 Neat
Walking   a little   funny
Whelp
The clones get in the way
No   you        didn’t         bring   anything      to   restrain    him   with
“Taken     him,”
   Dude he just said       “taken”
   Not like he said    “killed”
   The most objectionable thing he said    in that     was     blaming   the clones   for his failure
  And   clearly    that     isn’t   your   issue
Narrowing  of the eyes was a    good   reaction
(Pretty sure the darkness is     Him putting unwonton pressure   and guilt tripping      (Gas        lighting)
 He’s just too much of a   coward     to say anything     because he can be held     accountable            At the      fifth      thing
 Let’s     tend      to     the   wounded
 Good      job   reflect     ing   mate
Whelp
Docter   where are you?
 Don’t    be upset with me     master
Geez
Dude does need a   break
Even     his     own     lair      is   toxic
Conversation
Rrgh
Look
Aww
Spare       parts
 Off
Body   guards
Remotely   deactivated      for       a    re-charge
Oh   so they weren’t killed
Gosh   dude came back to      A bunch of droids   laying   dead on the ground        Like;
“These.. aren’t. mine,”
Dude      is    having      a    tough     day
 Argh
 Not   good
Good
Lock down the   Perimeter
Good for   him
Whelp
Looks,     Better
Whelp
Watching
Yeah, those guys are dead from   grievous
He wacked  them with metal claws
Those     guys   don’t   have   a   single piercing mark on them
Nor     dented   helmet
Not ready to take on grievous
No one is
Dude has   robotic      arms
It’s time   we   retreated
Make sure to bring something to       restrain him   next time
Whelp
Grievous isn’t doing anything
Good     for him
“ You are    not going anywhere,”
Well, he tried
He WAS   just given          An ultimatum   from his boss
Gotta       stop    caring     about     those      things
“ Guess    we’ll have to fight       after all,”
 Or       blow open the                                door
Or   sizzle     it     open     with   your   light   sticks
 Lots     of   options
Bring      scout
Aight
Whelp     those guys are dead
Also   how did they even find   them?
Okay, that one makes sense because he was parked literally 5 feet from the base
  Fair   Game
Get out of there R6
Good for him
Whelp
That one   guy...
Whelp...
Yet
Good     for     him
 Of
R6
You told him to   leave
Dick
You surprise attack him
Call hypocrite, fair fight
Aaw, he’s   nice
Fair
Whelp
 Shit
Straight to the point
Doom       Man      -sion
Here        we     come
Whelp
Dude with the force       can’t lift one guy
Well 
General
Dude one trap   and you’re ready to call it quits
Lame
We’ve seen the lower levels of your home
No you haven’t
You were on ground level
And you only just saw anything below that   now
“ we’re not impressed,”
Dude speak for   yourself
Also,    fun
 Good     way       to        heal
   “Good, Good, Jedi,”
   This should be entertaining
        - way to heal-
   “You shall provide    sport for me,”
Like;           That
  Whelp
   Good        time            to       entertain          our        guests
        He’s             a           good            host
      Whelp
      Dude          has            a         dinosaur
       And       bots
     Dude         level       spiked          for           a          moment
    Hmm
    Nice
    Oof
    That       sounds     painful
   Armor       Patches
  “Contrary to your belief     I have other things to do,”
       Good              for            him
 He rans    a med channel
 “ go see to it my   repair,”
   Implaments            (?)
*Impale     Ments
   There may be   some discomfort
  But I’m pretty sure   he was already uncomfortable
   Argh
No sedatives
Off
Weak       link
Whelp
Surprised     his  pistol    did anything
Like seriously   even the swords would take   a few   whacks
There we go stabbing it with a sword
Your   knight   instinct
Whelp
And that clown just became the damsel
Whelp
Whelp
Fail
Guess     he’s   dead
 Or   broke     something
Splat noises   are kind of   humorous
So it could just be a   broken   nose
Great
Whelp
Instinct
Grievous is going to pay for this
Dude he made a humorous   “Splat” sound
“Splat”  is not       a     death   sound
   It      is      a     broken     nose   sound
“Destroy      him,”
I understand your pain
No, this is the time to take the kid away from the   bad situation
(Or actually give him the        don’t kill things talk)
   That’s the better option
   (Since he is still an adult and         can make his decision)
“ but you forget your teachings   Nadar,”
Not like that
  That is how you get       hit in the face
But in this war   strength prevails
 He literally   does have a point
  You two survived because of     “superior genetics”
You’ve literally been   hustling him since day one
And revenge is fine   in terms of accountability
 If someone stabs you,      You’re allowed to stab    him back
   Abusers?        Get their        abuse        back
Specifically in Murder
 The dead      isn’t alive     to take revenge
 And while he is right       that accountability is better
  That murder doesn’t   equal murder
   Because of         the belief          That all (human)         Sentient life          Inherently makes       the world better        By the possibility of them        contributing good
    Which is why         I advocate        accountability
     The way         dude is handling it          is shitty
      Firstly; all those present to the body are considered   enablers, if   they      enable     murder
And   everyone     who     sees      the     body       has       to        be          on       high      alert
  And   accountability      on     sight
 Because        if       you     five rules           A       Murder         -er...
  Point being dude should.     shut the fuck up and     help him find this dude
   The rules have changed
  Yes, yes they have
“ perhaps you are the one that has changed,”
  Shut up toxic
     Dick
    Enabling selfish dick
 “ come now,”
   He realized he fucked up
 “ We   need to move    now,”
  There’s         no     saving      that
  Whelp
  Skipped       past       that
   Looks      better
   “Gor,”
    He      named          it
    Oh
   Where       are      they
 Yeah wait what happened with the   doors?
 “Gor...”
 Aww       He     sounds     so    sad
Argh
Oof
That     pissed him off
Incoming     message from Count   Dooku
 Oh,       Good
 The Jedi have infiltrated your Lair
  Damn
 He   really   didn’t     tell     the     man   about   anything
Your   recent   defeats      at    their   hands
  Wow,         Dude can Literally not get a   break
   You just called him    five minutes     ago
 Fuck you
  He looks so       Tired
     And          Done
“Reassess      your    effectiveness,”
  Oh     that’s bound to piss him        off
 That you actively did   that
I’m expecting a face   Heel turn
 “You”
 There      we      go
  “ you   deactivated       my     Guards,”
    Oh....
[I assumed he just    forgot]
“ You let the Jedi      in,”
  No actually   they found a magic brick
  Unless Count Dooku  just so happen       to press    the button           at        the       same       time
Which      if so      nice
  Makes       dude’s overconfidence   even sweeter
“ so you would testing me,”
  Dick
 And he’s starting to look     It
  Oops
He’s pissed now
 Like I know this is     culminating in a fight scene
  But I would just love     if  just walked downstairs.        And was like     yes      I will go with you
 Out     of     Spite
“ i’ll play your little game,”
  In your condition you need your   rest
  I will rest when the Jedi     are dead
 Oh so that’s how they capture   him
 Maybe after he kills the   young one
Sentry
Those robots do     nothing
Whelp
Control      Room
 He’s         Done
Oh,        what do we have    here?
Oh,    this is what he does?
Master      the Jedi are about to enter the control room
  Snarky      little     shit
“Nadar,     get   inside,”
 Yeah,         No
Ahh
Nadar
Cutting       out      the    abuser
  Whelp
Absolutely       can       kick        ass
Surprised       no     one      who   understands   accountability
“Greetings     young      Jedi,”
 Greetings Boomer
“How       Ex       citing,”
   Neat
And   Meta
 Defeat       us       all
You’re one person   but I accept the understanding
  Get him     Master
Oh    he gets to see his apprentice die on the   big screen
Wait, where is the other   Jedi
Where-
Oh no
Self-awareness
 Oww
 But that wouldn’t kill a     determined
Whelp he accepted death
“No,”
Yep, he’d rather die than live in the world   you made
Enabler
(Technically;    Both of you)
 Welp I will kill you all
Do you hear me Jedi
Do you hear me
Fair   game
Enablers       kill   enablers
  No     one   wins
“ R6      is that you?”
How?!
Meet me at the   south landing   platform
I’m coming for you next   Fisto
Whelp, i’ll be   gone by the time you get here
Dick
Whelp
R6, I’m at the platform
Going     somewhere
How?!
But   also OK
Whelp
Hmm
Fan Technique should actually help in the   fog
Whelp
Pawn In Dooku’s game
That power will only   consume you
Like you
Flaunting it
Right now
Unless his battery   gives out...
Whelp
Ok
 Cheating
How   quickly   power      can   switch     hands
  Whelp  Enabled
 Expect      ed
Accom     plishment
 So   there’s   room   improvement
 Oof
“His heart was in the right place,”
  Not      accountability
“ to answer power         with power                 It’s not the Jedi   way,”
      HAHAHaHa
    What’s the title of this     again?
  Star         WARS      The        Clone           WARS
It takes   two to tango
  Feckin hypocrites
  In this WAR
 HAHAha
“ A danger there Is,”
I feel bad    for the   voice actor   that had to say that   with a   straight face
Nailed it   perfectly well
“Oof losing who we are,”
Oh, that scene
 Chills.
  Oh
                I REALLY liked this episode
It was funny   self-aware   and even   had some good moments with the villains
 Also
   They killed a           motherfucking dragon
      *Named              Gore
      * excuse          language
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