Tumgik
#the point is i'm proud of how much i've improved
daggersandarrows · 8 months
Text
having just sort of a Night
#could physically Feel myself getting to that point of “hasn't seen humans in long enough that it's Bad”#this usually hits for me around the 72 hour mark moving up or down depending on how long it's been since i've shared a bad#but it's also that tipping point where i'm in a 50/50 split between “oh i need humans” and “actually what if i just didn't make an effort t#see anyone again ever"#was leaning hard towards option two when meg had to cancel which is when the [i'm in danger] feeling Hit#i don't feel. like. BAD. but i'm having an adjustment coming off gabapentin so i Need to do things that give me purpose#and i was halfway through cleaning the apartment when they called#stopped dead intending to finish and simply Didn't#but i fed myself switched my laundry and did some actual flight rising planning#and finally and i'm most proud of this one#i FINALLY quit my part time job#i fully intended to give them two week's notice but kept procrastinating then got hit with massive guilt which of course got worse#my boss was really nice about it and i guess one week is better than nothing#i have a feeling i'm going to feel much better tomorrow and that my executive function is going to improve bc that was REALLY weighing on m#idk why i just couldn't fucking make myself do it#i even fucking brought it up in therapy fully intending to quit that day#and. Didn't.#oh i also emailed my therapist to discuss esa paperwork! AND i read fetch api documentation in prep for maaaaybe testing into the advanced#code the dream class#i guess i did a lot today it just feels like all i did was sit in front of the tv#i'll feel better tomorrow. i will.#thing is. i'm much better at coping with being unexpectedly alone than coping with being unexpectedly with people.#i know how this works. i'll be okay. i'll be okay#i'm going to finish my audiobook and go to work and code and text my friends#i will be fine#i just feel a little lonely and weird tonight and i need more vitamin d and also to remember to take my meds#thane.txt
1 note · View note
saey707 · 6 months
Note
I SEE YOU HAVE ALREADY SEEN "HEARTSTEEL" I LOVE THEIR INTERACTIONS ON TWITTER AND EVERYTHING (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA) It's cool, just cool :') Well, the point is... could you do a Yone x fangirl!reader? (I've been thinking about an anonymous online friendship and then a BIG surprise when they just meet face to face) Anyway, have a good day <3 -🍄
✿ Prompt: You have a chance encounter with Yone ✿
♡ champion focus: yone ♡ tw: none! ♡ Gender-neutral reader
Author’s Note: YES HELLOOO! ૮₍´。ᵔ ꈊ ᵔ。`₎ა Thanks so much for requesting! I tried my best to get the premise of your idea in, but I did make some changes to improve the flow of the short and make it more authentic! Hope you enjoy! ૮₍˶ •. • ⑅₎ა ♡
Tumblr media
You and Yone met through an online board long before he went off the grid- hell, you met long before Yone even became legendary!
While it wasn't the conventional way to meet someone, you couldn't help but become fascinated by him and all the discussions he participated in. It's not every day you meet a (kind) man so invested in the history of Japanese warriors, DJ'ing, cold brew, and meditating!
You've never met Yone in person, but you figured from his messages alone he was either an old man or a kind soul... Even both. Every email Yone sent you was well punctuated and wise. He always knew exactly what to say, to an extent where you didn't know if he was just researching everything he was telling you or was telling you something based on his life experiences!
The day Yone sent a photo to you was the day you were convinced he was an old man now. It was clear that the photo was printed when he took a picture of it. His long, black hair was neatly kept, and he stood tall and sharp in a suit... Not to mention, there were orbs on the edge of the photo, and his eyes were as red as a demon!
You knew, eventually, your anonymous pen pal would stop replying one day, but it still hurt all the same. For years, you wondered if Yone was okay. You wondered where he was now, what amazing things he was doing. You wondered if one day he would ever email you back again... You wondered if he was dead.
"Hey, Warrior! I know it's been a few years since we last spoke. I know you won't respond, and I don't carry any grudges against you for it. I just can't help but wonder: How have you been? Were you ever able to get that red motorcycle you wanted? Are you still DJ'ing?"
That was the first email in years you sent to him... And you couldn't help but find some comfort in having a one-sided conversation. In a way, it felt like it healed the past few years you were left wondering and waiting.
"Hi, Warrior! You won't believe what happened yesterday: I finally got myself to meditate for 30 minutes straight! I'm still not sure how you can do it for an hour, but maybe someday I can get just as good as you. Hope you respond soon. I miss you!"
It became a regular habit for you to email him, even knowing you would never get a response. But maybe someday he'll be able to see what's going on in your life. Maybe someday, he'll open up his emails and respond to you... It's just wishful thinking.
"Have you seen the new band going viral? They're called Heartsteel! Their producer has the same name as you and even rides a red motorcycle in the music video! Isn't that cool? I know it isn't you, but at the very least I can imagine that it is you. I can imagine it's you out there doing great things with great people. And maybe it makes sense to me now why you won't respond. But just know I'm proud of you. No matter what you're doing out there. I'll email you again in a few days. Bye, Yone."
You sent the email, shutting your laptop now.
Waiting in line for a cold brew, it came as a surprise to you when you saw a man in front of you looking down at his phone, not even realizing that the line had already cut down to his turn to order.
You waited a few seconds... Then another. Then another.
Soon enough, you were annoyed. "Uhh, hey?! It's your turn to order..!" You tapped the man's shoulder, watching as he turned his head to you, confused as he shook himself from the alternate dimension his head was just in.
Your eyes widened as you stared at him for a moment, taking in the intricate details of his face. You recognized the sharp look in his eyes. You were familiar with the shape of his jawline. From the moment you got a good look at him, you knew it was him.
And while it seemed as if he didn't recognize you, the moment you spoke, his eyes lit up. It was you.
"Warrior?"
"Deer..."
289 notes · View notes
maxarchive · 7 months
Text
Tumblr media
CHAMPION’S PRESS CONFERENCE 
Q. Max Verstappen you are a three-time world champion. How good does that sound? I mean, of course it sounds great. It's something I never even really dreamt of. It's, of course, a very proud moment for myself, for my family, my close family. I think everyone within the team I'm working with, you know, to be able to experience all of this together is amazing. And I said it on the radio already on the in-lap. Of course, we talk about performance and, you know, you can always thank the team for that, but I also find the whole atmosphere and how much I enjoy working with all these people, I find that probably even more important. It's very important to come to the track and know that you have nice people to work with.
Q. Of your three titles, where do you rank this one? This one is the best one. I think the first one was the most emotional one, because that's when your dreams are fulfilled in F1. But this one is definitely… It has been my best year. Yeah, well, so far, you know, consecutive wins and stuff like that, and the car itself has been probably in the best shape as well. So for me, this one is probably the one I’m most proud of in a way because of consistency.
Q. At what point in the season did you know you had the title in your hands? Well, not until this point, right? But no, of course the momentum was growing and race after race the gap was getting bigger. So I was just, you know, looking at myself, just trying to go through every single weekend trying to get the best out of it. That for me at that time is more important than dreaming about the title, because dreaming doesn't really bring you anywhere. It's about the effort and work you put in to try and achieve your goals.
Q. Christian Horner says you're operating at a level he's never previously seen. Do you think you've raised your game this year, to a new level? I keep trying to improve. And of course, I don't necessarily think I have become a faster driver, but you have a lot more experience in the car. You grow as a driver, you grow also, I think, as a person in life. And I think all these kinds of things, when I compare to my first season in Formula 1, they help you a lot in terms of just dealing with every kind of pressure situation throughout the weekend, you know, everything that might be thrown at you and in difficult conditions, for example. And in the end it's all about you know, trying to deliver every single weekend, which is I think very hard in Formula 1.
Q. Where have you felt the most pressure this year, which race? It’s a good question. I don't know. I mean, it has to also do with track conditions or whatever. For example, the race in Zandvoort, when you're driving on slicks and it's raining, and I know of course I normally enjoy driving in the wet, but I also know that I'm leading the championship and if I go off and I'm stuck, you know, you lose a lot of points. So naturally, you're always driving a little bit under the limit, but that can be, in a way, dangerous as well. So probably when I was out there on slicks, you feel a bit pressured. Sometimes there are people behind you that are a bit faster, because they have nothing to lose. So it's a very different mindset as well that you're in when you are fighting for a championship.
Q. When you look back at the season as a whole, can we just talk about some of the highlights? Best win?  It's a few. I think my win in Miami, I really enjoyed. Spa, Zandvoort, but also Suzuka, like, winning the Constructors’ for example with the team there was fantastic. It's difficult to really pick one to be honest. Q. What about the most satisfying pole position? Probably Suzuka. Yeah, I've had a few. I mean, OK, maybe it didn't count but the one in Spa probably that I enjoyed – those kinds of conditions where you really have to pull it out of the bag. But yeah, in Suzuka the car was on rails. It was unbelievable to drive. And, you know, while driving, I was smiling and that's quite rare in a qualifying lap. 
Q. Knowing that there's nothing you like more than winning, this year, with the good package you have, you can out-score score Alain Prost’s victories and also you could reach Sebastian Vettel. Is this your goal right now? Yeah, of course I want to win as much as I can. I know that from third place to second is quite a big gap. So I hope maybe in my career I might end up somewhere there in the middle. That would be nice. But I don't know, it depends a lot on what's going to happen in the next few races and the next few years as well. I don't know how long this is going to last. I'm enjoying the moment and I think that's also very important. I’ve achieved more than I could have ever even dreamed of, or set any goals that I wanted to achieve in F1, right? So I'm loving the moment. We'll see where we end up but it's already way more than I ever thought I could achieve. So it's perfect.
Q. Max, you mentioned the package. How would you rate Honda's contribution to this third championship? It's massive. It's the chassis together with the engine that allows you to achieve these kinds of things. I'm very happy to work with Honda. I always have been. They are amazing people, they’re always super polite but also super motivated and always willing to listen and of course willing to improve. And so yeah, they will always have a special place in my heart even when, of course, they leave at the end of ‘25. But for now, let's just enjoy the moment together. And yeah, I'm very proud also for them, from where we started as a team together and where we are at now. I think we can all be very proud of that.
Q. Max, on the radio after you crossed the line Christian rattled off the names of the other three-time World Champions and he said, it's not a bad list. I know you're not really one for records but in terms of the names you're joining, and maybe going to now surpass in the years to come, do you think about the legacy that you're going to leave in Formula 1 or is it still very much focused on the here and now? I find it always a tricky one because I'm not in Formula 1 to leave a legacy in a way. I'm here to win and I'm here to try to do the best I can and try to enjoy the moment with the people who helped me achieve these things. That's, for me, way more important than trying to leave a legacy. But yeah, it's something that I never thought was possible, to be in that list. When you see those names, you're like, wow! that's incredible what these people have achieved in their careers and now you're alongside them. It is, of course, an amazing feeling. 
Q. Max,  firstly, how do you intend to celebrate tonight? And do you think that might have any bearing on tomorrow's Grand Prix? And secondly, I don't want to keep going back to it but obviously you’ve won three titles in three years, you've wrapped them up pretty speedily, you must be looking at Michael on seven, Lewis on seven and thinking I can get there. I could get to eight.  The first one, yeah, I guess quite a few sparkling waters tonight but I'll be here tomorrow! Yeah, to be honest, the second one… it's a bit different to some other sports where you can really set out targets and you’re like, if I just keep myself in a good shape then these kind of things are possible or whatever. In F1 it doesn't always work like that so I just live in the moment. And like I said before, I've already achieved way more than I ever thought I would.
Q. So shortly after your title, you’re already talking about tomorrow and about the remaining races that you want to perform, that you want to win. I didn't expect anything else but do you fear that there will become a moment in your life that that insatiable hunger is not there anymore? For sure. Yeah, I think that that's normal. I don't think that someone will… Of course, I'm still very young but at one point I think you've had enough. I think everyone at one point has that if that is because you realise that your body can't handle it anymore in some sports then you have to accept that. And you have to just, in a way retire, but for sure, at one point, you might want to do other stuff or race a bit less, absolutely. But not right now.
Q. A similar note to what Ben was just saying, the difference between all three of your titles. In 2021 you fought against Mercedes all the way to the end. Last year, it was against Ferrari, OK, their challenge fell away. This year, your only rival really was within your own team and even that didn't last very long. How did it feel not having to really go against another team this year? Well, of course for F1 you would like to see more competition, but for me, I don't need any other team or like a team-mate to get the best out of myself. I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself to always try and be the best I can, try to prepare in the best possible way. That's what I enjoy and that's the only thing that I really look at.
Q. Max, is it a bit of a shame that you don't get your hands on the World Championship trophy for another six weeks or so?  You're given that P2 plaque by the FIA president in Parc Fermé but would you rather get your hands on the trophy for being the World Champion there and then?  It’s OK, they look the same. I have two at home so they're not changing. It's just one extra name on it. But it's OK, I can wait a little bit. Yeah, I got one next to my sim rig and one next to the TV.
241 notes · View notes
bakersimmer · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Chrono // Latest // Archive // Blogger // Playlist // Feedback and questions
Ever since I was a little kid, I have liked making up different characters and stories—the problems of an only child. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I'm writing to improve my English and grammar because it is not my native language. So, I don't really follow any rules other than grammar rules, and I don't always follow them either, but I try. During parental leave, I got the idea to take my old and sloppy story, Martin's Escape, and start filling in the plot holes. I say plot holes, but I had no plot… so only holes. 😬 I hope attempt number 2 goes better.
In just three months, I have learned so much, and I'm actually quite proud of myself. If you have ever commented on my story posts or shared an opinion or feedback, know I'm very grateful. It's really cool to see that I can communicate the ideas in my head in an understandable way. This has not always been the case.
@zosa95 I will never forget how you explained to me that in English, it is correct to say that you are "in the shower," not "under the shower," and then we tried to understand the logic of English showers and Estonian showers. 😆 And it all started with the idea that Laila doesn't want Martin to slip while in the shower.
Why am I sharing this? I don't know… So that in 2026, I can look back and think what I've thought and said at some point in my life? 😁
125 notes · View notes
qqueenofhades · 6 months
Note
Do you think part of what makes people feel like voting isn’t worth it because things don’t get better under democrats is because we can’t see what would have happened? Like I see a lot of people saying “well biden hasn’t made america much better so there’s no point” but it’s like they don’t understand that under a republican they would actively do everything they could to cause more harm. It’s like they don’t understand that 1. The president can’t do much, and 2. IT WOULD BE WORSE. like they don’t understand the possibilities. Idk people just frustrate me
I'm sorry, as I know you're just relaying what these people think and not claiming so yourself, but the whole "things don't get better under Biden/Democrats" line to which we are subjected so very, miserably often is a lie!!! It is demonstrably a lie! It is peddled by people who deliberately live in their echo-chamber leftist misinformation bubbles and either don't read the news, don't accept anything less than the Magical Socialist Revolution Now, and don't think partial or incremental progress (aka the only kind of progress that exists) is valid. "Biden hasn't single-handedly fixed everything wrong with America and the world after the most damaging presidency ever to exist and 250+ years of flaws, while other countries actually are their own actors with agency making complex choices, so we shouldn't vote for him" is a bullshit lie and I'm tired of it!!!
(Again. Sorry. This is not directed at you. This is just my frustration with this entire ridiculous situation speaking.)
We have had multiple elections now where people voted for Democrats, which resulted in abortion protections, protections for LGBTQ people, the biggest climate legislation ever to pass Congress/be signed into law (the Inflation Reduction Act), vast improvements in the job market, executive actions both large and small, improvements in labor and the economy, a general democratic system, a defense of the rule of law, a warning against fascism, and everything else that Trump trampled on in 4 years and will finish the job of doing if this godforsaken country is either right-wing-zealot or left-wing-zealot enough to put him back into office. (Like, people. Google is free. You're welcome to look up the improvements Biden has actually made, but that would harm your Narrative.) So much of this misinformation is also peddled by people who are proud that they don't have a clue how the American government works and/or deliberately lie about it: see all the claims that it was Biden's fault for not magically stopping a Trump-stacked SCOTUS, selected for the express purpose of overturning Roe, from overturning Roe. Because the president could just unilaterally overturn the Supreme Court with no problems at all if He Really Wanted To, I guess. Even if that is literally not the way it has ever functioned in history.
All the noxious Republicans in state legislatures passing anti-trans/anti-abortion/anti-voting laws ARE NOT SOMETHING BIDEN CAN STOP. If you're going to criticize him for not doing something, for God's sake at least make it for something he can do (like not calling for a ceasefire in Gaza, though I would argue he's already taking a more nuanced approach than the entirety of the American establishment during the War on Terror). And then vote for him when/if he follows it up, not just throw your hands in the air and scream about how you Can't Possibly Sully Yourself (especially when there is some very selective support going on here and a deliberate white-washing of how many orders of magnitude worse absolutely everything else in America and the world would be under Trump. So.)
I'm tired of it. I'm really, really tired of it. I've been trying to cut back on my politics posting because my mental health is bad right now and I often feel like a broken record screaming into the void. But. Yeah. Anyway. Whoof.
155 notes · View notes
swearyshera · 8 months
Text
Thank you!
This may end up being a long, rambly post because I'm a little emotional. But bear with me.
I am so incredibly thankful for all the love you've sent this week, and it humbles me to realise how much this silly little parody blog meant to people. Thank you for reading, liking, reblogging, commenting, asking, going absolutely unhinged in the tags... I read them all, and they've spurred me to keep going through 32 months, over 5000 posts, 40GB of screenshots and the wildest, most brilliant time of my life.
I'd love to thank people individually, but there's so many of you that I would inevitably miss someone out and that seems unfair! But I will say a special thank you to the She-Ra Uncut team, who I'm proud to consider some of the greatest friends I've made through this fandom, and whether we make many wonderful things, or never make anything again, I hope we can consider each other friends for life.
(Sob story time, feel free to skip!) In 2015, I had a huge breakdown. I was off work for 8 months, in hospital for a week, had therapy twice a week for a year... It was fucking awful. And though I got better, I never really felt like I had a reason to, and that I was just treading water until the darkness came back with vengeance. Then, as She-Ra ended, I made some silly posts that ended up as Etheria Nine-Nine, which led me onto what would become Sweary She-Ra. I had no idea how much this would change my life.
The response to this blog led me to write a script for a She-Ra Uncut trailer, and I loved it. I wrote more and developed a love for the craft, that I wanted to continue. It became a joy, and gave me a dream for the first time I could remember. So I kept writing, I kept learning and improving. In September 2022, I was sat in the Lowry theatre in Salford surrounded by the laughter of an audience watching a play that I wrote. That was the most incredible feeling of my life.
And I wouldn't have had that without thinking "Catra should be allowed to say fuck".
So while, it may be over (and it was pointed out to me that Sweary She-Ra ran for longer than the actual show did!), it's hopefully not the end. I'm very keen to make an audio sequel if I can, maybe several, and I'm not going to disappear into the ether. And hey, I don't know what the future will bring.
But there is a future.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you, everyone.
Alice.
(PS - Hi Crew-Ra, if you're reading this as I maybe suspect one or two of you may be. I am sorry but also not sorry, but also hire me when the strikes are over 😁. Thank you for making She-Ra, I love you!)
237 notes · View notes
being-addie · 10 months
Text
Habits I've successfully developed since my first post🤍
Tumblr media Tumblr media
If you've been here since the beginning, you'll know of my first and most popular post where I discuss developing certain habits to improve my life.
Here it is: https://www.tumblr.com/being-addie/714114582776610816/healthy-habits-im-developing-for-2023?source=share
So far, I've managed to do a lot and I'm so proud of myself. If you did some of them too, I'm really proud of you <3. It's difficult but we did it!
Here's what I managed to accomplish:
⭐Got my sleep schedule right: I FINALLY am sleeping 7-8 hours a night and it's so much better because I wake up at 5:30 am every morning and I'm more alert these days.
⭐Working out: Started going to the gym 5 days a week. I'm also looking into some hip-hop classes in the evenings.
⭐Water: I've tried drinking more water, and it's certainly working. I'm not perfect, but we're getting there!
⭐Digital detoxing: I did it. I successfully deleted social media and I'm so freaking proud of myself. It's 100% not easy and while I do get the occasional bursts of jealousy and FOMO, I'm getting better <3
⭐Creative work: I've started to learn how to crochet, and I'm planning on starting knitting soon. I also want to begin making my own jewellery (possibly try my hand at making clothes as well)
⭐Portfolio: I've begun work on my portfolio and I'm really excited with all the ideas I'm getting.
⭐Clean room: My room is so much cleaner now that I'm tidying up on a regular basis.
⭐Friendships: Currently in a really great place with two separate friend groups who value me, and I'm really grateful to past me for cutting out people I thought were my "friends".
Of course, I'm not perfect, I will be struggling with some things. I did particularly have problems with some of these:
💛My to-do list: More often than not, my to-do list lies incomplete because I just don't want to do it lol. Discipline is key, and I'm working on it.
💛Food: I've had to go out so much, and I've been consuming less-than-ideal healthy food. It's been difficult because I'm out so many hours due to classes that I literally need to buy those sugary protein bars to eat. 10 hours a day of nonstop commuting, sitting for 2-hour classes is no joke. We've also had a ton of birthdays and outings so I'm trying not to give into temptation and buy a bag of chips on a whim.
💛Self-care: I was so busy, I burned out, oof. I overworked myself to the point of a mental breakdown, and I'm still so busy, I'm finding it difficult to set aside time to even do my Everything Shower. I'm going to try and cut my day into manageable chunks so I can decompress.
Learning myself over the last few months has been interesting, to say the least. Paying attention to your mind and body's cues allows you to be more aware of what you're doing and WHY. Here's your sign to start implementing habits you've been sleeping on.
Don't wait, just start. xoxo
<3
Tumblr media Tumblr media
374 notes · View notes
waitineedaname · 1 year
Note
Um. do you think about how mr & mrs kageyama are undoubtedly on the Good-er side of the Parents scale but also are probably viewed differently by ritsu and shigeo. like i think about how ritsu probably had to be the easy one (the one that doesn't need you to care about them and comfort them) since shigeo has probably come home beaten up and bloodied enough times for the both of them?? also i feel like they might've said something like "well shigeo you don't HAVE to do [thing that will make any parent happy/proud] right ritsu :)" at some point. like idkkk i feel like that is definitely part of why ritsu feels so pressured to be twice as good at whatever he does (to make up for whatever mob lacks) but also if anyone said that to me i'd kill myself on the spot because it puts Zero trust in mob's abilities? like i feel it doesn't give him a chance to try because well ritsu will do it anyways why do i need to :/ (but then body improvement club happened. W)
anyways i just thing his parents (unintentionally) put sooo much pressure on ritsu. like the bar for being Good is drastically different for ritsu and shigeo*. and pre-claw ritsu thought that half of this pressure would probably disappear if mob did what he was ""supposed"" to do as the Older Sibling which might be one of the many many reasons ritsu thought he hated him?
*marathon arc is the first instance that comes to mind cuz...idk..before it happens they're like Hm. we should go wait in the middway of the path for shigeo (who waited for ritsu at the finish line?🤨). and after it they're like hehe ritsu got 9th place and shigeo did his best :) (this just sounds. damn. the bar's that low/high?). and both of these are normal! considering how shigeo and ritsu are! but i also feel like they're only normal because that's what you'd expect from shigeo and ritsu respectively which kind of. fucked up my worldview.
okayyy this got long. Sowwy. 😆
the kageyama parents make me NUTS when I think about them too hard bc they're probably the best parents in the series and definitely the most normal, but with being normal comes very normal flaws and parenting fuck ups, like comparing their sons. like comparing kids against each other is a very normal and common thing for parents to do, but it fucking sucks, and it's only made worse with the specific baggage the brother have
they absolutely put so much pressure on ritsu, which is one of the components of him snapping in the cleanup arc. he's like,, the ideal that they compare shigeo too, like they're always like "shigeo, why don't you get better grades, like ritsu. shigeo, why don't you stop doing weird things, like ritsu." I feel like the best example of this is these two pages from the cleanup arc (chapter 23, if you're curious)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
literally every day I think about "ritsu is way smarter than I am. he doesn't do anything weird" [panel of ritsu looking so fucking haunted]
I'm going to put the rest of this under a read more because I had a Lot To Say
anyway, this sets up the expectations for the two of them. shigeo is the one who struggles at school, who messes up, whose psychic powers do weird things. ritsu is the star student, the perfect son, the Normal One. neither of these expectations are fair to them at all, especially since shigeo works really fucking hard when he sets his mind to something, and ritsu has to wear the mask of normalcy and perfection even if it doesn't feel right. it puts too much pressure on ritsu and sets mob up with the expectations of failure! goddammit!!
I don't necessarily blame the kageyama parents, I mean like I said, this is a very normal thing for parents to do, especially with kids so close in age. I've been compared to my stepsister, I've seen this happen to friends who are close in age to their siblings. it sucks ass, but it's a very normal flaw for a family to have. but also, even though the series really emphasizes that psychic powers are just a normal thing, I don't think the kageyama parents were equipped to deal with the specific issues their kids have bc of psychic powers. I can't help but wonder how much they know about that part of their sons' lives... the more I think about it, the more I think that ritsu definitely didn't tell them the truth about the first ???% incident, he definitely lied to protect his brother because I feel like they would treat shigeo differently if they knew he almost killed his brother and several teenagers at age ten. and it's unclear how much, if anything, they know about the major arcs of the show. do they know ritsu was kidnapped? do they know shigeo was trapped in a mental hellscape for six months? I'm pretty sure ritsu actively hid the events of the world domination arc from them. we see their mom watching the news report in the confession arc -- did she see her son on the screen?
idk, I just get the impression that the brothers don't really let their parents into that part of their lives, which means they still get treated normally but also means their parents don't really understand them. I think that's part of why reigen was so important to mob's development as a kid, because he gave him a person he could go to about things he couldn't talk about with his parents. it also means ritsu was especially isolated because he didn't have that kind of person, at least not until he and shou became friends
also what you said about ritsu being the "easy one", that fits directly into the way I think about both of the kageyama brothers being autistic. I think mob was much more visibly autistic, probably needed more support, and because ritsu didn't need the same support, everyone assumed ritsu must be allistic. I think he knew he was the "easy one" between the two of them and I think that got wrapped up in him masking a LOT to make things easier on his parents so they could focus on shigeo. this kid is so damn undiagnosed that I don't think he even realizes he might also be autistic until his teenage years at least
something something psychic powers as a metaphor for autism something something ritsu desperately trying to seem normal because he doesn't have powers, but also desperately wanting to get powers and stop having to act normal. this kid is so fucking sick of masking.
449 notes · View notes
bluehwale · 1 year
Note
okay so idk if you’re taking requests or not, BUT BUT BUT could u please write ateez as chb demigods (kind of like the jongho one), the scream i let out when i read demigod on the post was a bit embarrassing tbh
also hi new follower 👋 gonna go stalk ur masterlist/s don’t mind me :))
the rainbow thief | demigods! poly ateez au
Tumblr media
02 / ‘the rainbow thief’ masterpost / prev / next
summary. eight demigods find themselves ecstatic over finally mustering up enough courage to let you know about their unbridled feelings for you, only to find a threat looming upon them; a rainbow thief that's set out to steal you.
or alternatively,
your best friends are oblivious to your reciprocating feelings.
pairing(s). ot8 demigods! ateez x daughter of iris! reader (son of hades! hongjoong, son of athena! hwa, son of apollo! yunho, son of poseidon! yeosang, son of zeus! san, son of aphrodite! mingi, son of dionysus! wooyoung & son of ares! jongho)
word count. 3.1k
genre. pure crack, angst if you squint real hard until ur eyes close, tons of fluff, literally the dumbest thing i've written help, basically idiots2lovers, ateez are chronic simps to the point where it's hard to watch, borderline unhinged behavior, they are also himbos!
warnings. alcohol intake (wooyoung and his wine), cursing, not proofread sorry </3
note. hi! this has been sitting in my drafts for a long while and i'm so sorry it took so long to be posted (almost d worded bc of my assignments) anyways, i kinda added a spin on this req by making it a poly fic, i hope you don't mind! thankyou so so much for being my first ever request<3 hv a great day!! ily ^3^ ++ feedback would be greatly appreciated pls i need to improve my writing
masterlist
Tumblr media
San thinks this is definitely a level nine code red.
To give you an understanding of San’s Catastrophe Indicator, here’s some scale to context; a level eight would be Wooyoung somehow finding out his deepest darkest secret— that he still sleeps with his plushies every night; and a level ten would be getting zapped on the ass by his dad’s lightning bolt (and potentially having to stay in the infirmary for a week). So yes, a level nine is alarming, if not, exceptionally lethal.
It’s been exactly 53 minutes and 46 seconds since San has been watching you enthusiastically converse with an unfamiliar boy who’s sitting a little too close to you for his liking. His heart aches at the way you throw your head back as you let out your endearing giggles and how you teasingly shove his arm while the boy looks over to you with a grin, probably proud of a joke he told that made you laugh.
(It has also been 53 minutes and 46 seconds since the pink haired boy remains frozen behind a tree— the perfect hiding spot, he mused— all the while trembling like a leaf as he struggles to resist the temptation of flying in your direction curled up as a ball to hopefully cannonball the boy off the bench beside you.)
San huffs, he won’t let this be! It’s supposed to be the special day where he and the boys finally let you know about their feelings, and he would rather backflip off a cliff than let this undeniably handsome, seemingly perfect, flawlessly flirty guy who looks like he jumped out of a popular romance anime seduce you!
He falters, however, when he sees you stand up and grasp the boy’s hand to rise along with you. 
The poor boy’s eyes almost popped out of their sockets when he sees you inch closer to the blue haired boy, a pretty smile evident on your face as he then wraps an arm around you, pulling you close while whispering something into your ear that makes you blush. 
This can’t be happening! 
San’s hands turn jittery as he unconsciously moves away from his hiding spot, needing to get closer to you, his best friend that he’s been hopelessly in love with for years, but he can feel his heart finally breaking when you excitedly pull the boy into a warm embrace.
Snap!
Your head looks up to see San pausing his steps after accidentally stepping on a tree branch with eyes as wide as a deer caught in headlights. You innocently wave at him and San prays that the ground would swallow him whole.
He feels his hands grow clammy as he ungracefully dives behind a trash can to (unsuccessfully) hide himself from you and the unfamiliar boy walking together towards his direction. But of course, with the unmistaken pop of his pink hair, it’s hard not to notice him— especially for you.
“San!”
The demigod curses under his breath when he sees you in front of him and sheepishly stands up to meet your amused eyes. The blue-haired boy beside you stifles a laugh with an unconvincing cough and San thinks he hears the male mumble, “Oh, is this one of them—” before you elbow him on the stomach, cutting him off as he groans.
You pay no attention to the boy beside you as he doubles over in pain to clutch his gut, you turn to brightly grin at your best friend instead. “Meet Yeonjun! He just got here yesterday and, oh, he’s an Aphrodite kid! I think you both would get along pretty well.”
San feels his eye twitch. He tunes out your voice that rings throughout the air as you introduce him to your new friend.
A son of Aphrodite. Your new friend.
Aphrodite. The goddess of beauty and love. 
His heart sinks into his stomach.
This might be even worse than a code red level nine.
  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ✺◟( • ω • )◞✺
“There better be a good reason for San to drag me here in the middle of drafting up my Capture the Flag strategy plans.” Seonghwa, the brain and only hope of the group, crosses his arms and tsks. 
The state of an emergency calls San and Mingi (an Aphrodite kid and the first San ran to for consultation) to round up everyone in the infirmary, an unfitting spot to hold their “emergency meeting” but the two boys couldn’t wait for Yunho’s healer shift to end. Mingi taps his feet anxiously when it looks like San’s unwillingness to speak due to his sullen mood means that he will have to be the one to break the news.
Ever the poster child of rationality, he slowly starts, “We think… _____ might be interested in someone.”
“You mean some people,” Wooyoung cackles, sipping his wine from an ‘I LOVE DIONYSUS’ mug as he gestures to his best friends sitting around in a circle. “There’s nothing to worry about, everyone in camp told me she’s 100% gonna accept our confession. They even think we’re all already dating.” The boy proudly smiles, taking another sip of his wine as his stomach flutters at the thought of you.
“She’s in love with an Aphrodite kid,” San blurts out.
Splatters of red wine burst out of Wooyoung’s mouth when San’s words finally registers in his mind, leaving him to stammer and gape wordlessly as chaos ensues with the rest of the boys.
“What are you talking about?!” gasped Seonghwa, any previous thought of his strategy plans immediately forgotten.
“But— but we were supposed to tell her today!” Yunho, ever in tune with his emotions, wails while his hands slap his face to cover his already leaking eyes. “What are we gonna do with the humongous bouquet I requested the Demeter kids to make last night?!” He reaches out a shaky finger to point at the flower bouquet and an equally large teddy bear taking up a whole corner of the infirmary. 
Amidst the commotion, Mingi locks his arms around Yeosang who seems to have resigned from his body completely and looks like he’d willingly give himself up as lunch for any nearby sea monster. “Guys, calm down, maybe this is all just a misunderstanding—”
“An Aphrodite kid, you say?” interrupted Jongho, already rolling up his sleeves to relieve his bulging biceps from ripping his shirt apart. “What’s this guy’s name and what does he look like?”
“Jongho, you’re not killing anyone—”
“Mingi’s right,” Hongjoong sighs, eerily calm besides the smoke fuming from his nostrils and his eyes that glint devilishly. “Instead of killing him, making him suffer throughout his afterlife sounds much better, I’ll make sure my dad takes note of him.” 
“That’s not what I meant!” interjects Mingi who, still grasping a Yeosang who’s ready to jump up and dash off into the ocean, shoots a desperate look begging for help to the eldest. 
“Maybe he’s trying to seduce her into a pyramid scheme?” Seonghwa supplies weakly, brain racking to find any other reason to support the idea that maybe you’re merely close with this person as friends and not because you’re in love with him.
“And why the fuck would he do that?”
“We demigods aren’t immune to capitalism.”
“It’s hopeless,” counters San, shutting everyone else up. They look over to him with furrowed brows and trembling lips, one that matches his own. “You weren’t there– you didn’t see what I saw. She looked so happy.”
  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ✺◟( • ω • )◞✺
The eight sulky boys toddle around mopily as they pick apart the romance-themed decorations littered around the hidden area you all claimed as your group’s private hangout place. They can’t help but feel dejected over the fact that you— their best friend who they’ve been in love with for years, like someone else.
“Thought I’d find you guys here.”
Speak of the devil.
Their heads snap to find you walking on the path of rose petals they prepared earlier today, dressed in a baby blue mini dress you reserve only for special occasions instead of your usual get up of the orange Camp Half-Blood shirt and jeans. An easy smile rests on your face as you greet your best friends and they can’t help but feel their hearts grow heavier at the sight (except for Yeosang who is too busy panicking over you possibly noticing the ‘We Love You _____!’ banner that is still on display).
“______, what are you doing here?” The glint in your eyes visibly falters at Seonghwa’s question, your excitement twisting into unbridled nerves that settles uncomfortably in your gut when you notice everyone staring at you as if you shouldn’t be here.
Word spreads crazy fast in camp and it didn’t take long for you to overhear about the surprise the boys had planned for you. Although it unsettles you that the boys might be upset at their spoiled attempt of surprising you, you can’t help but feel giddy at the thought of them liking you back after all these years of you believing that your feelings went unreciprocated. 
So imagine your confusion when none of your best friends showed up to lead you to your surprise and that, after happily skipping all the way here, you find them hostile in your presence.
“Uh,” you trail off, nervously picking at the skin around your fingernails as you try to gauge their reactions. “It’s just… I didn’t see any of you today except for San. I missed you guys.”
It seems like that was the wrong thing to say as the boys, to your confusion, suddenly broke in tears.
“You can’t say things like that!” Yeosang hiccups, bringing a hand to his face to wipe the steady stream of tears falling from his eyes and earning broken mutters of agreement from the other boys.
"Wha—What?" you stammer, surprised at their reactions. What’s going on?
“You shouldn’t say things like that when you know we can’t have you.”
“What do you mean? Why can’t you?”
“Because you’re in love with someone else!”
You pause. “Huh?” Any trace of your previous nervousness vanished, instead replaced with rejoicement at the thought of them being jealous over you with someone else. You restrain the urge to giggle.
“It’s okay, ____. We understand,” sniffles Seonghwa, clamping his hand over Wooyoung’s mouth who was clinging onto his arm while yelling: ‘NO, WE DO NOT UNDERSTAND!’ It took awhile for the eldest to eventually tackle the younger to the ground, suppressing him by placing his weight over him while Wooyoung continues to let out muffled yelps as he struggles. Seonghwa turns to you and offers a weak smile, the usual shine in his eyes nowhere to be seen. “We’re happy for you.”
You try to contain your amusement. “You are?”
“We are,” Yunho nods, hastily wiping away his own tears to hold both of your hands in his (you can distinctly hear Wooyoung’s muffled scream of ‘WE’RE NOT!’ in the background). “We’ll always be here for you. We’ll always be your best friends.”
“That’s gonna be a problem, though,” you chide lightly, feeling the smile you’ve been trying to mask creep up to your face. “I want you to be more than just best friends.”
It took a couple seconds for the sulky boys to register what you said and when they did, you’d think they’d won the lottery or something (you’re pretty sure Jongho leaped three feet up in the air). 
“But what about that Aphrodite kid?”
You turn to Hongjoong in confusion. “What Aphrodite kid?”
Everyone turns to accusingly look at a certain pink haired boy. 
San gulps. “Yeonjun,” he mutters. It comes out sounding more like a question than a statement.
“...Yeonjun?” you burst into laughter, uncontrollable giggles escaping you from how ridiculous this is. “We’re just friends and he has a boyfriend. I was even talking about you guys all day to him!”
“Y—you were?” San stutters, already feeling the pointed glares burning on his back. “I—I thought you liked him…” 
“I don’t,” you reassure them with a smile. “How could I when I’m in love with you guys?”
Mingi lets out a relieved scream, enveloping you in a tight hug to bury his face in your hair and inhale his favorite scent— the sweet smell of coconuts; you. “You don’t know how happy I am to hear that. We’ve been in love with you too.”
You take a peek from Mingi’s embrace to see the other boys celebrating; Wooyoung’s already chugging down a freshly opened bottle of wine while the rest of the boys are simultaneously doing tiny hops in a group hug and letting out excited yelps. Your cheeks ache from grinning too hard at how cute your boys are.
“_____! We need to go to the infirmary, we prepared something for you!” Yunho excitedly pulls at your arm, just remembering the bouquet and teddy bear for you, separating you from the blonde giant who’s now sporting a pout at you leaving him. 
You and Yunho both merrily skip your way to the infirmary with your hands intertwined and pink dusting your cheeks, unknowingly leaving a pink haired boy to meet his doom.
“Aha, who would’ve thought that she’s not actually in love with another guy?” San forced out a nervous chuckle, slowly backing up from his best friends and wishing he could disappear just about right now. “No hard feelings right? Everyone makes mistakes—”
“Shut up. Come here.”
Not too long after, a loud scream rings throughout the camp.
(“That sounds so much like San, don’t you think?” you worriedly ask the boy beside you who’s dwarfed behind the huge teddy bear he’s helping you carry to the Iris Cabin. 
“Nah, that’s not San.” Yunho calmly shrugs, his smirk hidden behind the gigantic bear plushie as he thinks of his own revenge against the culprit for his whirlwind of emotions he went through earlier today.)
  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ‍  ✺◟( • ω • )◞✺
INTERLOGUE
BEFORE THE EMERGENCY MEET UP IN THE INFIRMARY…
“Mingi.”
“Huh?” The blonde boy in question looks up to see San barging into his room, looking as if he ran a marathon to Aphrodite’s cabin (which is exactly what he did). “How did you even get inside?”
San ignores his question. “You have a new brother?”
“Oh, Yeonjun?” Mingi nonchalantly asks, missing the way San’s figure goes rigid at his name as he returns to applying black polish on his nails. “Yeah, he just got here yesterday. Cool guy. What’s up?”
“I think _____’s in love with him.”
“What?!”
Tumblr media
747 notes · View notes
skywlker-sluvtt · 10 months
Note
🥺 with ani please <3
me when virgin ani: 👹👹👹 this is my area of expertise so i'm excited heheheheh
anakin x afab!reader 18+ below the cut nsfw emoji ask game
🥺 first-time headcanon
✧ it wasn't easy for anakin to get experience at all, being cooped up in the temple or off-world there wasn't much time for him to think thoroughly about who he'd want it to be with. in the end he decides it should be a stranger, surely it wouldn't be that bad
✧ off world he met you at a bar of some kind. he couldn't help but give you the biggest puppy dog eyes and watch you the entire night. if it wasn't for the fact he was pretty it probably could've been a little bit creepy. he's too nervous to talk to you, so you have to approach him.
✧ he's putty in your hands the moment you speak to him. asking him his name and where he's from, playing with the pretty braid in his hair. "jedi huh? i've never been with a jedi before..." it's suggestive enough to get him hard and nervous. "w-well i'd be more than happy to be your first...first jedi" he stumbles over his words before you ask to kiss him very politely.
✧ you gotta pick up on the virgin energy. he can barely kiss you and it makes you giggle a little. when he comes back to yours he'll cOnFeSs to you that he's a virgin, but yk that's fineeeee.
✧ anakin wants to pleasure you he's just not too sure how to. you offer to show him and teach him how to make you feel good and return the favor happily. he tries his hardest and he finds he enjoys your playful banter, he expected the experience to be a lot more serious.
✧ he finishes really quick inside you, with little whimpers he can't control and a flushed face from the embarrassment. after reassuring him it's okay he finishes you off with his mouth and honestly, his skill improves within the last half hour. he's proud of himself for making you cum with just his tongue gladly cleaning all the cum from your pretty hole.
✧ when he leaves in the morning he thanks you profusely and was very confident. ani wani won't be forgetting about you anytime soon, he might even have to visit you at some point <3
155 notes · View notes
Text
Nagi's "Hidden Path"/ Loophole
*featuring Isagi, Bachira, and Rin analysis*
I've been thinking a lot about how Nagi represents a "hidden path" in Bluelock, and the ways in which it seems the main manga and episode Nagi disagree on whether he should succeed- the key issue being his relationship with Reo. He plays soccer for their collective dream in a manga where depending on another character for your motivation is treated as soccer suicide, which should doom him, but his own manga starts with the statement that his genius is shaped by Reo - framed as a good thing.
I've said in the past that maybe Nagi will succeed by Episode Nagi's standards, but fail by Blue Lock standards, and I still think that would be an interesting path to take, but rn I wanna discuss the alternative that Nagi succeeds by both standards, even if to a lesser extent in the main manga since Isagi is the MC. And we're assuming here that his relationship with Reo isn't permanently severed in a way that makes him more similar to every other Bllk character bc that would make him much less interesting and also remove the "hidden path" aspect that we're expecting here.
So for him to succeed by both standards, I think what essentially needs to happen is that Nagi represents a loophole or caveat in Blue Lock's philosophy. And to understand why that would be the case, we'd have to understand WHY playing for anyone but yourself is a bad thing in Blue Lock. And there are plenty of examples to draw from.
Isagi and "All for One"
We can start with the "One for all, all for one" team Isagi was in- the most extremely dependent soccer we see. I'll be drawing from Isagi's Light Novel for this, because it really just spells it out. First, let's look at the reasoning for that "all for one" given in response to Isagi's request to shoot more:
“Up until now, You could have won matches with your individual skills, but high school isn’t a piece of cake... We win together, and become stronger together! If you do that, then you'll have double the joy! And half the sorrow!”
The reasoning given here isn't that the resulting soccer is better at winning games - rather there is an emphasis on safety. "the world is tough", "If we stick together, there's half the sorrow". And within that emphasis, is the implication that the individual isn't enough.
We can also see complacency in this ideaology. When Ichinan loses, the coach says
“You fought well. It’s frustrating, but this is what Ichinan is capable of now. The third years are leaving after this… and some of you might quit soccer after today but you can be proud of the days you fought together as a team." "To me, Ichinan’s soccer team…is the best team in Japan!!!”
Within this dream doping that Ego rants about later on, we can again see the acceptance on the individual not being enough - "You fought well... but this is what Ichinan is capable of now." We also see within the dream doping the injection of safety and lack of perceived agency. Because we are one unit, there is no blame, no frustration, no need for improvement. The point is the team, not to win, so be proud.
Most damning is the way we see this reflected in Isagi
There’s no need to take a risky battle. If they lose, it will be his fault and he will feel bad for the team. He makes an exquisite pass to Tada's feet. A perfect last pass.
What's emphasized here is the risk in making an egotistical decision for the whole team in believing himself good enough to make that shot himself. What essentially happens here is a devaluing of the self - " I'm not good enough on my own, its safer to trust others, trust the system, not your instincts" And that forces Isagi to not live up to his fullest potential, to chase what he wants. Until Blue Lock that is.
Bachira and the Monster
Bachira is probably the character most directly "punished" in the narrative for playing for someone else. Though I feel like punish is the wrong word because this problem with his ego reared its head and was resolved in the same game - once he realized the problem, Bachira resolved to solve it
According to Bachira's explanation
"...Until now, I was afraid of playing soccer by myself. I guess I wanted you to come save me. But, once I tried fighting on my own, like I'd done as a kid, I realized...
Tumblr media
And so the problem with his habit of looking for another player when playing instead of focusing on himself was again the perceived lack of agency, and devaluing of the self. Longing for someone to play soccer with led to a dependency that negatively impacted his decisions on the field
Tumblr media
So that's why his moment of growth was breaking through all on his own to steak back Isagi and win - ignoring the idea that he should wait for someone else to help him. He needed to believe in his own agency/value to prove himself on the field and achieve his goals.
Rin and Sae
I recently took a look at Rin's Light Novel and there was a line that stood out as kinda similar to Bachira's old habit of passing to an imaginary monster before coming to Blue Lock
he understood why things were not going well. Neither their coach nor his other teammates have the slightest idea of Rin’s image of play in his head. (If it was Nii-chan, he would have made a pass here……) he thought so many times during today's practice. He jumped out in front of the goal to a position where I said, “Here!” but his teammates were like, “Huh?” “There?”
So whether you're passing or shooting, a reliance can develop, huh...
(How do Bachirin shippers feel about this parallel? haha. And what does this say about what Rin says to Bachira "But afraid of fighting alone. It is a soccer looking for someone. That luke-warm ego won't make my heart dance". Cus it seems Rin is criticizing Bachira for doing the same thing he did. What does this mean about how Rin feels about himself? (I mean.. he did already call himself lukewarm later but was he thinking about himself in that moment?))
In the light novel, I think it becomes clear one reason why Sae is so against Rin using him as his reason for soccer - it definitely affects how Rin plays when Sae is away. And since Sae becomes aware of the competition outside Japan during his time abroad, he knows that Rin's mentality as it was wouldn't be enough and thus wanted to spare him the suffering and have him give up. And this is in combination with the idea of "I've found out, that I'm not strong enough to hold you up. If you rely on me you'll fail" At least, this is my interpretation of it - but moving on-
With Rin’s last pass, they score a shot. If his Nii-chan had been there, he would have passed the ball to him in front of the goal and he would have scored it directly….. He stopped thinking. No pass is coming. That is now the reality. Anyway, the team won for the first time in a long time.
We see a lack of agency and a reliance on others once again - "If only Nii-chan was here". Like with Bachira, Rin is waiting for someone to "save" him, which limits what he chooses to attempt and stifles his potential because of how it limits his perceived agency.
We can also see this limitation in how he wants to be 2nd best after Sae - not best (de-valuing). It causes Rin to seal off his ego in order to catch up to Sae, by being more similar to Sae instead of developing according to his own unique talents/ego.
In order to catch up with his Nii-chan he saw off at the airport, he has to make the team’s victory his top priority. To do so, he must hold himself back. Hold back the you who was trying to steal the goal with everything you have using that sense of smell for the goal and assemble an attack as a team play.
Even after Sae's return he's always on Rin's mind, and this still limits his soccer. It's only after Rin declares himself lukewarm and rejects the stories others create through their relationship with him that he is able to go all out by embracing his own personal style, rather than focusing on others.
Back on Topic!
So in summary, what is wrong with depending on others? What causes Blue Lock to default to individualism? Ultimately it seems like its the resulting lack of perceived agency - the idea that you can't do things without other people present. By constraining yourself into a narrative with other people, you limit what you can do, and you limit what you think you can do by molding yourself to their vision. Thus, your potential is stifled.
How can Nagi and Reo become an exception to this reasoning? Well, maybe Nagi's decision to leave Reo during 2nd selection is part of the key.
Tumblr media
We know from Episode Nagi and Manshine that Nagi wants to improve for the sake of his and Reo's collective dream. And he (correctly) identifies following soccer that challenges/excites him as the proper way to improve.
Tumblr media
Here, Reo identifies them playing together as a must, but Nagi corrects him and saying that them being the best in the world together is a must, saying (in his head T-T) that he likes being with him, but that in order to protect their dream, Nagi needs to change.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
It's actually pretty much spelled out here. Nagi says he's fine with Reo playing with other people, but insists that Reo stay with him till the end. Its ok to play soccer with others, but keep me in your heart always. In other words, I don't mind not playing together, but you and our end goal is always in my heart.
This is different from Isagi, Bachira, or Rin's situation because in those cases, the team/monster/Sae were considered as key to success. However, in Nagi's case, success is key to Reo. It's completely reversed. It's that nuance of "I play soccer to play soccer with you, to win with you" vs. "I play soccer for you, I win for you". Because "playing together" is not a requirement for winning, it no longer acts as a constraint that restricts agency. Nagi's concept of being together separate from playing soccer together saves their partnership from being the same as the others and frees him to (for example) join Isagi to improve.
You can see more of this in epinagi
The Tag Game
You might say this is a bad example because Nagi relies on Reo to get him un-eliminated, but by Nagi's "I figured you'd do that, Reo..." we can guess that this was more from laziness than a belief that he needed Reo's help. Indeed, when Reo's in danger of being eliminated himself, when their dream is in any real danger, Nagi takes it upon himself to solve the issue
Tumblr media
They didn't solve the problem relying on teamwork/partnership or anything. Nagi solved the problem because they're partners.
Playing Against Barou
The next time their dream is "Challenged" is when Barou says "Becoming the world's best striker means you'll be alone until you die", essentially a challenge to the viability of Nagi and Reo's dream. Nagi's response to that is to run off and instigate a 1v1 with Barou
Tumblr media
So again, rather than deny Nagi options, his partnership with Reo provided the motivation to act out on his own.
Playing against Team Z
Even when they play against team Z, we see this in action. Nagi plays a more reliant soccer, his dream/Reo is challenged when he sees Reo's face, and Nagi decides to act out on his own.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Nagi will rely on Reo for the sake of laziness, but when it comes to their dream, there's this pattern of deciding to rely less on Reo, take destiny into his own hands, and make an effort. It's really that nuance of doing something to be with someone vs. doing something for someone.
Beyond 1st/2nd Selection
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Brief mention here of Nagi's eyes shining when Reo says "But it's not enough" when Nagi praises him. I think this might be Nagi thinking its a sign that Reo in fact has not forgotten their promise and is also working to achieve it - consistent with the idea of being together without necessarily playing together (Whereas Reo is thinking the other way round - improving for the sake of playing together because that's the only way to be together)
So, where this theory hits its roadblock is the Manshine City Arc, where Nagi asks for Reo's help. But because of all the ominous foreshadowing afterwards, in addition to Ego's words that Nagi's deep ego (implied by timing of skull imagery +all the scenes I just listed to be Reo/dream-centric) is about to be tested, I think their dynamic is bound to change in some direction within the next game. So, their relationship is still in development and the theory isn't necessarily debunked.
**edited in addition** I think the key is that regardless of their behavior, the core of their partnership (ie their internal feelings) isn't dependency, but rather reciprocated faith and commitment, though especially with Nagi's communication and introspection issues, it may take some time for them to figure that out because Reo has no idea the faith that Nagi has in him. Reo actually assumes that their partnership can't exist without dependence - assumes its over when that dependence fades because Nagi will have no reason to stay with him, but this is him insecurely misinterpreting Nagi's intentions. They also can't really flourish until Nagi figures out his ego/motivation, though that's luckily foreshadowed to be addressed. I think with how Reo misinterprets Nagi's motivations on a shallow level in 207, and how Nagi's motivation is foreshadowed to be addressed soon, we will get nagireo communication soon timeline wise (not real life lol). And hopefully with that communication, Reo's insecurity + Nagi's motivation can be addressed and they can begin to figure out a functional partnership within Blue Lock. But really the key here is that faith and devotion don't necessitate playing with only each other in mind, while dependence/reliance does.
In terms of what will happen, I think we might finally get a confirmation of what Nagi's ego is - it certainly fits with their conversation in 207, where Reo tries to give a substitute that doesn't really fit. I'm not sure what would happen once Nagi and Reo have the clarity of understanding what Nagi's ego is though...
In Any Case!
I'm running out of fuel but just to let ya'll know I was thinking really hard about what the difference was between Nagi and Reo's dynamic in comparison to partnerships or teamwork criticized by the main manga and I did not expect the difference I came up with to be the difference between reliance and devotion. "I am not enough by myself" vs. "I will make myself enough for you". I still wonder if I'm just biased?
Plz lmk ur thoughts
link to a continuation of these thoughts - Hiori's Words, Reo's Insecurity, Nagi's Enforced Indifference
134 notes · View notes
meanbossart · 3 months
Text
Some art-advice asks I've been meaning to reply to!
Tumblr media
I use Clip Studio Paint Pro, though I'm not sure what tips I could give just in general. Just experiment with new things often, draw as much as your lifestyle allows, watch how other people do their work but try to avoid "Dont do THIS thing ever" type lessons and tutorials. Use as much reference as you'd like and take your time! To this day a simple sketch can still take me several hours to do depending on what it is.
Tumblr media
Thank you so much!!! I didn't do any kind of formal art schooling but I've always been inclined towards arts and crafts, and started taking drawing semi seriously when I was about 17 (I'm 27 now). I draw a lot of inspiration from western comics and my favorite artists are jason shawn alexander and sean murphy.
Tumblr media
Oh I'm so flattered to hear my stuff's inspired you to take up drawing again, I have a bunch of little crafty hobbies but art is by far the most fulfilling one to me - largely because you're constantly learning and improving.
You're definitely onto something already, I am constantly looking at other people's art (even If it isn't a style I would want to emulate) and analyzing how the pieces come together to create the final product. In my opinion this is pretty much the best way you can go about learning besides real-life reference drawing. You can even take something into your software of choice/print it out and trace it (just to yourself, of course) to get a sense of hand-motion and line use.
As a beginner I think there's no shame at all in taking heavy inspiration from your favorite artists, as long as you aren't straight up copying things and calling them your own. Your personal style Is likely to come out naturally, with time. That's very much how I started myself!
Also, just be patient with yourself, try to have realistic goals for your skill level while simultaneously being proud of everything you do. Even if you absolutely despise a drawing, you still drew something! And even if it doesn't feel that way you most definitely learned from it. Use learning tools and tutorials to whatever point you feel comfortable with but don't get stuck on people's arbitrary rules - unless we're talking about something tangible like real-life application of traditional art tools, things like anatomy, perspective and light are to be referenced from - but It's not the goal to emulate them 100% unless you ARE going for hyperrealism. As someone who uses a ton of reference these days, I can tell you first-hand that I often find myself straying from it on purpose to make a piece look more interesting.
Lastly, draw things you enjoy! Don't let anyone else dictate what you SHOULD be doing and don't fall into the trappings of wanting to stick to one specific style, process, or subject matter.
Good luck!!!
Tumblr media
LOL thank you so much for your very evocative compliments! I haven't ever done a timelapse, not that I remember at least. I'm not sure how they work but I do so much of "I'm gonna try this thing 5 different ways and then decide what I like" that I'm not sure how comprehensive that would be LOL
I could put together a process showcase or something though, I feel like that might be better even, since I get to explain a little of what I'm doing through text and display how I use reference. Something to consider!
53 notes · View notes
Text
Scared to Commit to Dream Project
xuliaxuxu asked: I'm an aspiring author who has been writing for a long time but never actually committed to my dream project because it scares me. I've read a lot about structure, good character development and arcs, and how it all works, but I'm still scared of not being able to write a story I'm proud of. Do you have any tips on how to get through the outlining process and first draft without feeling so much pressure on your shoulders? And are the first steps in writing a novel where you have so many ideas but don’t know how to organise them? It’s been a lonely process since I have no writer friends to talk about these specific struggles. Thank you for your lovely work here on tumblr it has been inspiring me a whole lot!
[Ask edited for length]
If it's any reassurance, the fact that you've been teaching yourself about structure and character development puts you ahead of a lot of writers when they first start out. But it's also a bit of a double-edged sword, because that knowledge raises the bar for what you expect to be able to accomplish. And unfortunately, having the knowledge doesn't mean you can instantly apply it perfectly. You still need to practice applying that knowledge before you can get really good at it. It's sort of like this: if you wanted to get really good at hand lettering, you could watch hours and hours of videos about how to do it... you could learn about the different techniques and the lingo, etc., but that doesn't mean you'll be able to do flawless hand lettering the first time you pick up a brush marker. You'll still have to actually practice those techniques for a while to get really good at it. Writing is the exact same way. And that can be frustrating because you know what you want to accomplish, and you have the knowledge to get yourself there, you just don't have the actual skills to actually get there yet.
So, here's what I recommend... keep the dream project on the back-burner for now. You can still work on the pre-planning (because even that qualifies as practice), but in the meantime work on other projects to get the practice in. There's a little bit of sacrifice here because you should find ideas you're excited about, but you have to write them knowing they're not going to be your best work. And that's fine, because writing them doesn't mean you have to share them or publish them. You can write them and keep them on the shelf as a reminder of the work you've done along the way. You can also revisit favorite projects later to revamp them with a more practiced skill set.
Working on something you're excited about and love--but which has the leeway to be not your best work--is the absolute best way to take the pressure off yourself when outlining and getting through the first draft. Once you've done this a few times and you know you're getting the hang of it, you can revisit your dream project, and just the fact that you know what you're doing will take a ton of that pressure off. Another thing that will help once you get to that point is remembering that your outline and first draft don't have to be perfect--and they won't be. Part of the writing process is having the flexibility to change things as you go, to tweak and improve, even into the later drafts. Developmental editing wouldn't exist if your outline and first draft had to be structurally perfect. :)
As far as organizing a lot of ideas, you might find it helpful to find a story planner of some kind. These exist as web sites (Novlr), apps (Fabula), programs (Scrivener), workbooks (Outlining Your Novel Workbook by K.M. Weiland), and you can even find time for download on Etsy. You can probably also find free ones to download if you can't spend any money. If nothing else, get yourself a multi-subject notebook and divide it into sections like plot, characters, world, brainstorm and get all those ideas out into their individual sections. Even that can make a big difference.
Happy writing!
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!
LEARN MORE about WQA
SEE MY ask policies
VISIT MY Master List of Top Posts
COFFEE & FEEDBACK COMMISSIONS ko-fi.com/wqa
59 notes · View notes
deoidesign · 9 months
Note
Hello I stumbled across your profile and I just say I love your art style! I've gotta ask, how'd your develop it? And do you have any advice for someone who can't decide what they want their art to look like?
Thank you so much!
To be entirely honest, I don't feel like I truly "developed" my style. I feel a lot more like I finally let myself draw it! But I am incredibly deliberate with my work, and I do have clear tendencies and preferences... So I'll do my best to explain how I got to where I am now as an artist.
It's important to remember that "style" is something of a nebulous concept. It changes with you as you grow as a person, and most artists can work in and emulate many art styles! Art really is a form of communication with yourself, and your "style" is a reflection of the tendencies and preferences you have. My art does not look how it looked 5 years ago, and my art will look different 5 years from now too. I've changed, and my art reflects that!
(2012, 2018, 2023; two pieces I remember being incredibly proud of and considered my best work up til that point, and then my most recent piece)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
What you need to do, as everyone will tell you, is study the fundamentals (anatomy, perspective, form and structure, lighting and shadow, color, and composition) so you have the proper tools to make the most informed decisions possible about your art, and so you can deliberately break or follow rules as you please for your desired effect. I know it sounds silly to learn rules if you're not gonna be following them anyways, but they help you be much more consistent and intentional! More knowledge is NEVER a bad thing to have!
However, I know it's a bit demoralizing to just be told to study fundamentals. Everyone knows you're supposed to do that, but it takes YEARS to learn, and people want their art to feel how they want it to now (which is very very very normal to want!)
So on that front, I have 2 follow up suggestions that I personally find helpful (of course, everyone is different, so it's not like this is the only way to learn! But, if it resonates with you, it might mean it will work for you too.)
1: Separate study from application
I believe this is beneficial for a few reasons:
If the goal of every piece is learning, it can become frustrating, overwhelming, and boring
It's harder to self critique when there are multiple variables to investigate. I like to study one fundamental at a time
Study (usually) works best with a large quantity of output, whereas application of knowledge (finished pieces) is often more satisfying and effective when you get to take your time
Deliberate practical application of what you've learned in a finished piece helps cement the learning in your mind, and also lets you get satisfying finished pieces with noticeable improvement after a good study session!
I've found that keeping these things separate helps me improve faster and more deliberately, and it takes a lot of the pressure off of both aspects! I'm not worried about my studies looking beautiful, they're just to learn! And I don't feel pressured to critique my finished pieces, cause they're just for fun and to make something pretty. I personally find this helps me have a much healthier relationship with my art.
When studying, copy! Copy things as best as you can, all the time. It gives you something to compare to for self critique (and of course, if you're copying someone else's work and you share the study, ALWAYS give credit, share the original, and say it was for study.) In application, don't copy: reference. Make it yours!
2: Let yourself do the things that feel "easy" or like "cheating"
This one is simpler: nothing in art is easy.
If something feels easy to you, most of the time it's not because it's actually any easier... It's because it's part of your natural tendencies and preferences! This took me forever to realize, but as long as you're actually doing some study, then you're learning. You don't need to learn All The Time. When you're doing the "application" portion, you should let yourself do whatever is actually the most fun and feels easiest! This is where your style will start to come through, and where you get to learn about yourself. Take the pressure off, and have fun!!!
The only cheating in art is theft. If you're not stealing, then it's allowed!
My whole life (and yes, still!) I'd get regular criticism about both my style and my subject matter. You will too. You'll see a thousand different styles, and a hundred different things to admire in each. Your heart will ache that you don't draw like others do.
But art is a form of communication with yourself. It's like your voice, or your accent; just something that's a part of you! It can be fun to mimic others', but when you sit to have a conversation you speak naturally. (I know some people want to and do change their voice, but this is a metaphor and metaphors aren't perfect)
Don't stress so much about what you want your art to look like, especially if you're not sure. There's a lot of value to be had in constant experimentation, I think it'd be rather boring to only draw one style the rest of my life. What I draw is what I want to see, right now, for who I am now! It's a part of me and comes naturally, if I let it!
I hope this helps!
107 notes · View notes
abby-howard · 1 year
Note
Hi! I've been following your comics for a long time and just saw that you squatted over 200 lbs! Congratulations!!
I want to ask this with the best of intentions and good faith. Would you still consider yourself fat? I recently started weightlift training myself and there's this annoying fatphobic part of my brain that is always present whenever i start any type of exercise that says "oh, will this be the thing that makes me loss my belly?" And it usually gets drowned out by the learned body positivity telling me not to make that a goal and there's nothing wrong with my fat.
Tysm! And that is a very good question, thank you for reaching out.
I would definitely still consider myself fat-- I work out 3-5 times a week and have for years, and my legs are pretty muscular, which is nice! But I am a chunky person, and it's pretty clear to me at this point that even if I drown in anxiety every time I eat a piece of bread, that's not going to change XD
That acceptance has definitely shifted the way I think about the gym/working out for the better. My goals are no longer focused on maximizing calorie output, setting the gym up as a punishment for having the body I have, which would always send me into anxiety spirals about going. Instead, I wanted to make the gym a regular (non-stressful) part of my life, because I realized maintaining a baseline of fitness-- at whatever size I am-- is important to helping me remain independent and able to do the work I'm passionate about as I age.
I feel like this change in my relationship with the gym has been one of the more important changes in my life-- treating working out as something more like doing the dishes than some kind of major shift into a new, thinner chapter of my life. I figure that I probably have many years ahead of me, and with how much I value my independence, I want to make sure I can stay mobile and pain-free for as long as I can (so I can keep making comics).
That of course doesn't mean I'll never get sick, or that ppl who do get sick just didn't do enough squats or deserve to be stigmatized for it! But osteoporosis has cropped up in my family before, and lifting helps increase bone density, as well as building a good foundation of stabilizing muscles if anything ever goes wrong. It's helped get rid of back pain and improve my posture, and while I'm sure there's a technique component at play, I feel like I have lifting to thank for my wrist strength-- drawing all those tiny lines somehow hasn't destroyed my wrist, and is always easier when I'm consistently deadlifting!
And, of course, there's the confidence that comes with picking up a big heavy thing and putting it back down. I feel proud that I have a body that can do that, which is something I have never felt before, even with everything I know about body positivity. When I first started lifting I also had those little thoughts about how it might impact my waistline-- I think it's something that's so deeply ingrained in fat people to prioritize that it's really hard to shut off. But it eventually did stop, replaced with an honest desire to explore my body's ability to pick up heavy thing off ground. An exploration of my body's strengths instead of a punishment for its perceived faults.
I hope this was helpful and didn't just sound like an ad for powerlifting XD
263 notes · View notes
phandompenny · 8 months
Text
1990 Phantom Fic Recs
Since the lovely @wheel-of-fish's stream of the 1990 TV production of POTO, I have been unable to stop thinking about Cherik and know there are countless others who likely feel the same.
Perhaps the only thing more tragic than the ending is the fact that there's so few 1990 fics! And among those tagged many of them take some character inspiration but don't really use the unique premise and setup and characters provided in the Y/K miniseries. So I've decided to compile this list of a few of my favourites! Enjoy!
what i would best like to see by queeenciri
A much gentler and happier picnic unmasking, where Christine reacts a little differently! I love the character work in this fic; the thoughts and emotions of the characters feel so real, and it really breaks down their motivations.
Together We Dream by Anonymous
This one is brand new and I'm in love with the prose and writing style of it! An extra conversation between Erik and Christine, one that could fit into canon or be a turning point. Christine reflects on some similarities between them, and it leads to this emotional conversation with angst and joy entwined gorgeously.
How Deep the Bullet Lies by oprhan__account
This is more of a hurt/comfort and whump fic, where Erik survives the ending of the miniseries. It's mainly him processing the events of the show and musing on what comes next, and does have a ending that is pointing towards things improving! Currently listed as chapter 1/? , but it's still worth reading as a fantastic exploration of an intriguing concept.
Sunflowers by CottagecoreCandlelight
Incredibly fluffy E/C, where Christine gifts Erik some sunflowers. Filled with the adorable shyness and sweetness that this couple has, and I'm in love with the visual image of 1990 Erik and his bouquet of sunflowers. They suit him very well!
Understatement by BrendaDaaeDestler
Erik takes Christine on their first date together! Fluff including a candlelit dinner and slow dancing. This is an AU where Gerard is willing to set up such a date, but the main focus is the budding romance between Erik and Christine.
A Magical World by pippa-writes
This is actually a collection of four ficlets! They're mostly canon compliant, and range from Christmas fluff to Christine regretting the picnic unmasking. The first one is even a Phillipe centric look at Christine's grief post canon (unfortunately with the canon ending), which I find quite unique and fascinating.
Rêver by trace-of-rouge
Somewhat tragic and angsty one shot, this is Erik musing on the nature of dreams and his feelings for Christine. It's a very good short character study, and I really enjoy the insight into Erik's thoughts.
The Strange Case of Monsieur Belladova by NPennyworth
If I constantly reread my own story then I'm allowed to put it on my own phic rec list, and I am seriously quite proud of how this one turned out! I wanted to explore a happier AU where Erik gets to just work at the opera house; this is written from the perspective of the opera company as they debate whether to say anything about the mask, but it seems rude to point it out when nobody else has. Mostly humor and fluff, with background E/C.
110 notes · View notes