#there are no friends in the drug game.

[bagels-withcreamcheese]

long time no post I don’t even have time to vent anymore I’m just . So busy. Like chaos absolute chaos the past few weeks I’m stressed out my freaking marbles. And then they got our boy Colin yesterday !! They fucked his shit up!! Uli and I were kinda worried bc he hadn’t stopped by to check his plants u know he’s like pretty much always there at the house. and it turns out he was in the hospital like wtfffff literally the day I make him stupid gluten free banana bread he got jumped by a group of guys and they like literally beat him to a pulp and left him on the side of the road wtfffff no !!!! Not our little guy!!! he needs to start carrying something to protect himself that’s so scary like if u saw his poor face. They like fractured his skull or some shit for what. For 2 ounces. He went to high school with these guys. Like I was so shocked when uli told me like no way. Anyway we’re all furious we’re going to go out and slash their tires and key their trucks n shit. Stupid ass redneck idiots. Deserve to have their faces beaten to shit like what they did to our buddy just ugh that makes me so mad

#people are such scumbags like even if u think u know someone u don’t #there are no friends in the drug game. #anyway I’m struggling to balance my new job and also getting packed up and moved out like I have 1 week basically #I’ll be at San Japan when I’m supposed to give the keys to the landlord so ig I’ll make uli do it #Colin was supposed to help me move but I’m thinking he needs to sit this one out well be fine without him #maybe we can get josh to help #ugh just . stress #we’re going to the state fair this weekend tho so maybe I can just kinda. relax a little #just chill out for a bit #I’ve been so tightly wound for so long like I feel all the stress in my shoulders and neck like AGGHHHHH #honestly I’m not excited for state fair kinda like . bc uli’s friends are coming and Felipe is too #so that’ll be like my first time actually hanging out with Felipe which is so weird #considering he’s uli’s roommate like you think I’d interact with him more often #but I feel like he haTES me like I feel like he’s literally been avoiding me since uli and I met #plus he’s walked in on us having sex twice in the past week so now I can’t even look him in the face I’m just like 😶 #uli’s like “’yeah he’ll probably only joke abt it once or twice’ #and I’m like NOOOO HE BETTER NOT not even once please for the love of god #not in front of all his friends he better noT that’s so embarrassing #that’s so embarrassing after the second time I was like no no I cannot be in this house anymore I can’t show my face here ever again #whatever man i got bigger fish to fry here like I have other things to worry about ugh forget abt it forget about it #tess talks

[malinaa]

if i think about the hunger games in peeta's perspective i WILL start sobbing

#imagine you're a boy who's going to die. you're in love with the girl you've been watching from afar. you know your fate. #you just want to help her‚ but then there's the announcement and she's here in front of you‚ kissing you‚ risking her life for you and you #think‚ i could live and i could love. you think she loves you when she hands you the berries‚ when she puts them in her mouth. #then you both survive and you go back home and nothing is real anymore. you have nothing. no family. no friends. no love. just an empty #house. a drunk for a neighbor. the love of your life walking into somebody else's arms. you think‚ i survived the games. i could survive #this. and you also think‚ i should've bit down on those berries‚ should've felt the juice burst before i died. #and then the third quarter quell announcement rings in your ears and you think‚ she will live and i will die as i should have in the first #place. the girl you love kisses you on the beach and somewhere you heart stirs and your mind revolts and you savor every touch she has ever #given to you‚ in front of the cameras and off. because you are a tribute and you are always being watched and snow's presence looms and #you think‚ i know she cares. but you get taken. you get drugged. you get tortured‚ your mind altered. the girl is a mutt‚ a murderer. she's #everything you despise‚ your mind stirs. your heart revolts. you gain more awareness but cannot distinguish reality from fiction and you #have never known katniss' love. the war ends. you heal. you come home. you plant primrose for her. years down the line‚ you grow in love #more than you thought possible. but some days‚ you cannot tell fiction from reality so you ask the love of your life‚ you love me. #real or not real? and she says‚ real‚ and kisses you. #and you sigh and kiss her back and revel in this. a home. a life. a love. #lit #the hunger games #everlark #otp: real or not real? #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #text #tais toi lys #thgpost

[one-time-i-dreamt]

My friend group created a Minecraft server together and added a mod that let us craft meth.

#dream #friend #friend group #minecraft #game #gaming #drugs tw

[laniidae-passerine]

I made my post about Dean Highbottom and then as I was writing my tags realised that his Hunger Games counterpart is Haymitch. and now my head is in my hands and I don’t think I’ll ever recover

#IM GOING TO CRY. I am part of the system I never wanted anything to do with it #I killed so many people without laying a hand on them. I never ever asked for this. I tried to say no. my hands are still bloody. #both turned to drugs to cope. both had a mentee who reminded them of someone they hated so much #(snow reminded the dean of his old friend. katniss reminded haymitch of himself) #both knew exactly how the games worked and all of its consequences because one made it and the other lived it #both lived in the shadows of the past and never really got out from it #but in the end one of them chose to be cruel to the children who they were asked to mentor #and the other loved even when it was killing him #god. twenty three years and they never managed to drown the fire out of him. his heart broke again and again #but he held onto those shards even as they made his hands bleed. and then one day two children appeared and pieced it back together #and some of it was missing and always would be. you can’t undo twenty three years of alcoholism and pain and grief and self loathing #but a lot of it was still there. far more than he ever even believed could have survived #Haymitch I love youuuuuuuuu I will always love you #and Dean Highbottom you were kinda cringe and lame. guynobody ass bitch. do better #haymitch abernathy #dean highbottom #thg #the hunger games #a ballad of songbirds and snakes #abosas

[tangledinink]

repostober day whatever today is. anyway, you ever drop acid in the middle of the woods? lol me neither, that'd be CRAZYYYY...

#these are a year old at this point but gosh it was fun #we rented a cabin on a lake #fidgetwing #drug ment #drug ment tw #i drew so many pictures and then i played hatsune miku rhythm game and i KILLED #i had just opened the app to look at the pretty pictures and then my friends like #kept spamming co-op invites at me and so i was like #fuck it ig we ball and i did GREAT i was getting the highest score every round #what a time #ah memories #lol anyway first day of work today--

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

finished mafia 2 yesterday . crying screaming building theories

#mafia 2 #Joe is alive i know nothing #i mourn Joe like he was my friend not Vito's #and ok i knew from the beginning like dear god it's game about fucking mafia there's just wouldn't be happy end #but my perfect ending was that Joe and Vito becoming the heads of Falcone family #like all their criminal activities have finally brought them to the top #also if Henry's drug case had been succesfull he'd be completely able to kill Falcone and run a crime family himself #also another thought about Henry (bc im not normal about him) #when he firstly said about this drug case i immedietly thought that it was his way to get revenge on destruction of Clemente's family #like he knew that drrug case will be fatal and it was a way to start war between Vinci and Falcone #so it was like a sacrifice #but i don't think that he was so deeply bonded with Clemente's family he's more like neutral guy idk #im not normal #game posting

[ottiliere]

i am absolutely obsessed with your alpha dave because you just hit that itch for me when it comes to the idea of guardians being the worst version of what their kid version could become. i've always wondered that, if the alpha guardians had the same concept the beta guardians did, how would they be-- especially dave, cause the striders relationships with their guardians are always so like. volatile? just the idea of dave growing up with no one to give him proper attention or care or love, (1/2)

and instead of bettering himself he just turns to the constant attention and eyes of the public when he becomes famous, because he NEEDS attention, he needs people to want him and crave him and look up to him and shit. and alpha dave just going down this spiral of doing more and more wack shit to get the public's attention, doing hard drugs with nasty circles he shouldn't be getting himself in, cause he's constantly chasing after the euphoria of people "loving" him. thats all thank you for listening to me go on and on like a maniac. tldr alpha dave being the worst version of who dave can be is an idea i am absolutely obsessed with partially due to your interpretations of him. ur art and ideas are stellar about the striders (2/2)

oh my god I love you. yes this very much how i envision alpha dave to be and it really falls into my stringent devotion to the concept of "universal karma" i.e. where beta dirk strider was so aloof and in his own head alpha dave strider must exist as an extreme direct inverse of that. needy, demanding, overbearing. this man, much like beta dirk, was not built to be a guardian. I think he kind of sucks super bad and it's so awesome. i could go on and on and on about this but I already have another ask in my drafts about him that’s hit 1k words with no end in sight and who knows when that’ll be ready. thank you for your kind observations. picture me smiling at you right now.

#alpha dave strider #ask #lucy art #I would have given him a coke nail here if I thought I could’ve make it look good #and also. like. tangentially. but very related. #the reason i view him as a cocaine addict isn't just because ohhhh hollywood superstar of course he does drugs #though that definitely enables his access #coke is a death trap for those with no spine and no self esteem because it makes you feel on top of the world. #if you're miserable and spiralling if you're insecure whether or not everyone in the room hates you you can snort a line #and abruptly perceive yourself to be the hottest shit ever #have read stories of many doing coke and thinking they're the life of the party only to be told afterwards that they were being a jackass #there are many such cases of diffident actors becoming cocaine addicts for these reasons #and that everyone hated them for being there #that's fundamentally dave to me #definitely a product of the environment. I think he has ALWAYS been quite insecure but in an environment like this the stakes are amplified #like it's a social game. everything is a social game there. and he is NOT a naturally confident man #the thing is with a lot of the high-profile coke addict actors the thing is like. they're alone. or they perceive themselves to be alone. #alone in hollywood afraid they're just not cutting it not fitting in with the scene not making ''friends'' #which is really more attributable to the social scene being so cutthroat and highschoolesque #a bunch of self-centered preps who would be nobodies if they hadn't grown up in wealthy families and shit like that #and I don't think dave would've come from an upbringing like this at all. alienated this guy craves attention and peer approval #doses and mimosas.flac #this is almost opposite of my view of dirk and i often use dave as a tuning fork for him #i had typed up a whole essayramble here and when i saved tumblr wiped out half the tags. did not realize there was a limit. #i suppose i will save to topic i discussed for its own post. thank you all for reading my tags as usual #sorry i edited your three asks into two asks so this post wouldn't get super long. hope you don't mind.

[ventisstolengnosis]

#drug ment #ask to tag #this is from a 'choose your own adventure' style tiktok abt grimaces birthday #(also i downloaded tiktok to originally just look at videos my friend uploaded of together and now ive fallen into it) #i really need to delete it #i will say to be transparent that this is going along with like. a trend of similar videos where you have to choose the 'safe' options in #these choose your own adventure tiktoks and if you dont choose the safe options then the character typically Does Violence To You like #in horror games. but like. this line was just so fucking funny i had to share it fjfjfjfjf

[obituarybug]

Everytime I play Disco Elysium the ghost of Harry Du Bois takes over my body like I'm nothing more than a mere vessel and uses it to harass working class women, dig through trashcans and continuously spout his undying love for Lt. Kim Kitsuragi

#When I play in VC I have to remind my friends that Harry is speaking using my body #I simply become Detective Harry Du Bois #We are one and the same #This is the true video gaming experience #Dare I say I am the only one who plays the game as intended (fucking insane) #Like I got to the ship yard WAY earlier than intended by ignoring Measurehead and getting distracted looking for drugs by a jacket 😭 #ALSO NO SPOILERS PLEASE #I AM NOT DONE WITH THE GAME #Harry only takes over my body at opportune moments so progress is slow going #The best games involve spiritual possessions #Disco Elysium #Harry Du Bois #It's not an ObituaryBug post if the tags aren't 2x longer than the actual post

[officialgleamstar]

its only 3pm but man. i COULD get high and play house flipper for a few hours

#drugs cw #i have never played that game sober. i just refuse to FHKJGHFJDKHGK #mine #alternatively i play the sims but i usually do that with my friends

[hecksupremechips]

Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over

Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰

#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually #very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds #like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd #but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga #and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit #and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’ #which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road #its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16! #he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control #which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’ #so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way #like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health #i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to #be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident! #so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game #is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me #cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused #but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone #like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways #and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed #but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child #shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING #HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY #like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work #apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs #his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be #better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy #and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad #how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel #makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired

[thankgod4pattsu]

I’m so tired I can’t sleep.

#aesthetic #need friends #xanny make it go away #xanned out #drugblr #drug blog #boyblogging #sad thoughts #sorry for being depressing #sh cvt #self h@rm #soft grunge #sleazecore #silent hill video game #white xanax #drugs cw #tw disordered eating #drugcore #tw death #tw depression #dark poetry #girls who do pills #quite bpd #bpd vent #bpd obsession #actually bpd #bpd thoughts #bpd #bpd problems #bpd feels

[ssunrey]

I played goat simulator for the first time and made a horror game concept with my friend

So I tend to ramble a lot and while playing goat simulator it eventually escalated into a whole plotline from my commentary.

My friend has it downloaded on his little kid tablet with the foam casing that most kids have (monkey preschool lunchbox iykyk).

In goat simulator everything is pretty scuffed and while you can be destructive, you as the goat cannot die and the npc people cannot either.

At first this devolved into me thinking it's sad, since the goat is not noticed no matter what damage is done (the npcs are reset with no lasting impact even after explosions, headbutting, etc.)

When the npcs are"reset", they still tend to stumble around and fall, which could be apart of the crappy effects but it shows the small effect the goat had (although not very visible)

Then I thought maybe they really are just npcs and the goat the player controls is self aware (as a player we're controlling it, therefore the goat is not a normal goat but self aware)

The goat has to find a way to break out instead of being trapped with mindless npcs

The game was probably made to be buggy for comedic quality (it works) but I personally I thought it was a bit scary (this is where the game plot started to form).

In Goatsville (I think), there are mushrooms that you can lick as the goat, and they make the goat's body look even more silly paired with the glitches when playing.

This could mean taking mushrooms makes it less scary since the goat was less realistic (for me personally it was better to see a weird, unrealistic goat with it's neck flopping around)

Some of the npcs were really weird

In Goatsville (where you start as the goat), there are protesters standing around with signs

At first they weren't relevant since we found mushrooms, but if you read their protest signs they're protesting against "pointy food"

I came up with the concept that the npcs aren't allowed to protest against anything that could spark the idea of rebellion (for the goat/player, hence pointy food)

There is someone controlling all of the npcs

Aside from Goatsville, there are separate areas (me and my friend freaked out when we found out) and there is a statue of a goat

As a joke, I said that the goat statue was of the goat/player's great grandaddy/relative whose remains were in the statue

Somewhere along this time, a group of npcs chased after the goat, and they all looked the same and wore shirts with goats on them. After licking them, it was found that these particular npcs are labelled "goat fanatics" (licking or headbutting an npc will show their name)

What if the goat fanatics are trying to catch us because we've become self aware???

Maybe the goat/player is descendant of a goat god?

These goat fanatics are the ones who erected the statue of the great grandaddy goat/goat god

Maybe the goat/player is next in line?

We ended up heading back to Goatsville and ended up at the starting point again. The player starts in a fenced area with other goats (not self aware). There is a tower that we decide to head up and it ends up leading to another area at the top.

We go inside, and it leads to a goddamn throne room

Goats kneel down as you (goat/player) walk down the red carpet and there is a throne at the end

The throne is made of goat SKULLS

We reach the final conclusion

All along, this was a ploy to find the new goat god (great grandaddy goat god died). The starting point was filled with unaware goats, and the fanatics were breeding goats to find a self aware one (goat/player). By trying to break free, we have been trapped.

#goat simulator #horror games #theory #video games #too silly #my friend said I seemed autistic #those fanatics were terrifying istg #I might get scared easily idk #i spent way too much time on this #that goat literally took drugs wdym mushrooms #I can do a lot in two hours #crack post #i think #I'm spiderman guys

[clownleys]

ao3 author notes: sorry i was absent for the past two weeks! i had to hand sew 42874 crystal gems to my shorts and then someone spiked my drink so i had to redo the whole thing

#anyway welcome back everyone #those two weeks were really like #terrible for me really #and that drink thing was a real final nail in the coffin #ending my year on a horrible note #anyway im okay now! but the same can't be said about my lilac coat #my friends navigated the situation really well and i can't be grateful for them enough #also i will get back to all the ask games soon!! thanks for sending them in <3 #and just in case: #drugs tw #drink spiking tw #alcohol tw #substance misuse tw #i hope that covers the blacklist for anyone who needs it! #and i really truly hope you never ever experience it #memeories.txt #personal

[bluastro-yellow]

I may be rethinking my opinion on Evrat

#it's the fishing village things that irks me. dude I don't believe your affordable housing solution #and even if it's your genuine intention do it before starting the building process #but like. he's a corrupt motherfucker but maybe he really cares about Martinese #pointless microblogging #sorry for the disco posting. again none of my friends play the game so I can only shout into the void of the internet about it #the hardie boys too. they genuinely care (even if their methods aren't perfect). but again they should be doing more than staying #at the whirlings all day. help cuno with his drug problem and cunoesse with whatever's up with her #help the pigs woman #for god's sake there was a missing man and _I_ had to stumble upon it #disco elysium #joyce is worse lol. more interesting to talk with but worse