#they’re so fucking cringy and ridiculous
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Tell me why I should start reading/watching chainsaw man.
I love weird ass anime, but I'm hesitant of starting new things without a recommendation from someone whose opinion I actually care about.
Do you like anime but have been feeling like lately you can’t really get into or relate to shows where the main characters take themselves too seriously or the silliness is so off the charts that it just feels cringy?
Do you feel off, especially as a woman, seeing so much fan service and scantily clad women especially those of a dubious age or level of consent?
Did you enjoy Tarantino’s early films like Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, and Kill Bill in addition to other 90’s/00’s pulp action/comedy media?
Well do I have a show for you!!
The concept is ridiculous but “guy who sprouts chainsaws from his arms and head and kills demons” goes surprisingly far.
And like okay I’m not saying there isn’t fan service but:
It’s done waaaayyyyy more tastefully and adult than similar anime I’ve seen lately
The girls are of age (sad this even needs to be said really)
Everyone’s base outfits are like pretty much the same
Like I love Power and she gets sexualized but the fact that her default outfit looks gender as fuck and isn’t skin tight bullshit makes me (as a woman) so goddamn happy
And the same goes for the other sexualized characters too, they’re just…..women (except well…iykyk :3)
And the animation ohhhhhh lordy MAPPA you dogs
I mean SNK season 4 was the tits but y’all just knocked this out of the park. Even if you decide “hey I don’t have time to watch this I’ll just read the manga instead” you’re still in for a treat. I use the manga panels ALL THE TIME for good reason because the art is just *chefs kiss*
So whether you wanna binge through the whole first season in an afternoon like @zerosuitsammi3 and @its-brit-bruh did or just read the manga you’re gonna love it either way. Chainsaw Man is an easy recommendation for anyone, even if you’ve never watched anime or read manga before (or if it’s been a while) I can confidently say you will enjoy this one. :D
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Howdy. So I’ve noticed a ton of anti-recovery take surrounding the DID community - specifically fakeclaimers, so let’s talk about it. Sit down, get comfy, I promise this will only take… a while.
1. If you love having DID, you’re faking it.
I understand where this mentality comes from. It’s a mental illness, so it makes sense to assume everybody would want to get rid of it. Don’t get me wrong - if your DID comes with no problems for you, you don’t have it. It is a dehabilitating condition by nature. But let’s look at it this way.
You are stuck with this mental illness. You can take therapy to improve it, but you can never “cure” it (at least as far as we know now.) So why are we so opposed to people finding bits of happiness where they can? If this is inescapable, why can’t people find bits they enjoy?
No, it’s not good to romanticize it. That’s not what I’m saying. If you are pretending it is 100% ok, you’re making it harder for other people to get help by pretending it’s “fun.” But if you love your headmates, the community DID brings you, the different way of thinking you have? That’s a good thing! You’re learning to cope. Don’t bash people for that.
2. If you’re open about your DID, you’re faking it.
I cannot even begin to describe how much I hate this one. It set my recovery so far back. The internet made me believe that seeking out help was something people with DID never did. It trained me to see telling people as proof I’m faking. This just isn’t true.
DID is a disorder made to hide itself, yes, but not from others. From the person who has it. I’ve seen people say that DID inherently comes with shame for having it, but this isn’t part of the diagnostic criteria. We haven’t done enough research to really be able to tell if it’s the stigmatization or disorder itself that comes with shame.
But you know what really doesn’t help? Shaming people for asking for help. As if finding a place you feel safe enough to share means that you’re faking it.
3. If you use certain terms, you’re faking it.
This is completely untrue. Plural spaces use different terms. Using “split” and “headmate” doesn’t mean you’re faking. It means that you are engaged within plural communities, and therefore picked up their lingo. That’s literally it. Internet terms all start somewhere. You pick up terms from who you’re around. People seek out people similar to them. People similar to them use these terms. That’s literally it.
4. If you have fictives, you’re faking it.
Most people seem to believe fictives are a thing to some extent, but they’re ridiculously picky with how you have them. Too many? Faking. From a media they don’t like? Faking. Present in a “cringe” way? Faking. Seeking out things about the media they come from or people who share the same source media? Faking. From something that came out recently? Faking. I’ll just make a mini list within the list for these.
-There is no evidence that there is an upper limit to how many fictives a person can have or that they’re any rarer than brainmade alters. Anybody who says this is pulling it out of their ass.
-“Cringe” sources are one of my least favorite mentalities. People are constantly like “well I believe in fictives but really? Dream SMP?” If it’s too popular, you’re trendhopping. Too niche and it’s “Now they’re going for X?!?” There is no winning. They say they believe in fictives, but you have to be the most insanely specific fictive possible to be real in their eyes.
-I’ve seen a lot of people get pissy over cringe presentation. A lot of this is very transphobic. Such as a character from something who is a man, but is transfem within the system (happens way more with transfem alters, not sure why) or using unconventional pronouns. Being “cringy” does not mean you’re faking. And this should go without saying, but for the love of fucking god, being trans is not cringy.
-People often get a lot of flack for seeking sourcemates or engaging with their source. People call it roleplaying. It’s only a connection to your past though. It’s like wanting to see a childhood friend or watching old home video tapes. Anybody who says that alters aren’t actually connected to their sources is,again, pulling it out of their ass.
-I see a lot of “this jsut came out! How can they have an alter already?” Studies on how long it takes please? I’ve only had one split that ever took longer than a week. I feel like a broken record, but again, anybody who claims that there’s an amount of time to develop alters is pulling it out of their ass.
Shut the fuck up about fictives already. These people clearly think they’re invalid, but claim “they’re real, but not in literally every situation imaginable where they could exist.”
5. If you have healthy system communication/are functional, you’re faking it.
Untrue. Some systems just naturally have less barriers than others and some spend years breaking them down. Perpetuating the notion that recovering and learning to be more functional is “faking” is so insanely harmful. It tells people that they can’t make progress or be open about said progress, because making improvements to the way they live is faking a disorder.
6. If you’re X age, you’re faking.
I see a lot of “you’re a teenager! You can’t have DID!” Yes, you can. It develops in very early childhood (eight years old maximum. Teenagers rarely get diagnosed, true, but it’s possible to have the disorder has a teen. Everybody with the disorder did have it as a teen.
And before you say “Well you’ll never know you have it unless you’re diagnosed-“ give me proof. With every other disorder I have seen people be correct in their self speculation. Why is it so different for DID? Obviously without a formal diagnosis, you have no right to speak for the community or say you 100% have it, but self speculation doesn’t inherently mean you’re faking.
I also see “you’re this old and still faking?” So I ask, if being young means you’re faking and being old means you’re faking, what age am I allowed to just exist?
I need everybody to collectively shut up about all this bullshit. Sources or bust. And don’t say the excuse of “well it’s under-researched so we don’t have good sources yet-“ then don’t make fucking claims. You don’t know these people. Stop accusing them of faking. It’s very tiring.
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Accidentally cursed you with "aw crap I can't give facts because it's spoilers"
Hmm, would Blue or Sophie(?) 's relationship with eachother / other characters be spoilers or can we hear of the dynamics
I’ve been waiting for questions about other characters lmao
So, Blue, Soph, and Pico end up being POLY
because it’s CUTE
Pico has to deal with TRAUMA but he is just
Everyone from the OG game is canon, for various obvious reasons.
My friend and I came up with a human name for Spirit, which I have said a few times(ees Sebastian). He only dons the name “Spirit” after the corruption arc b/c Soul kept bullying him with it, so he made it his name to take away that goober’s power lmfao.
I’m just gonna quickly go over the four goofers dynamics rq just b/c they live rent free in my head so I know how they are.
Soul and C hate each other at first (mainly it’s Soul hating C), but towards the end of the final arc they finally stop being dickheads at each other.
Blue is the nicest to all of them, the first to officially welcome each of the three b/c he’s nice like that.
Spirit and Soul honestly act like brothers because the amount of teasing between them is ridiculous.
Spirit and C are liek…… they’re gay. And sweet. I don’t know how a literal demonic embodiment of pure darkness can be sweet but… fuck- he is. Literally only for Spirit.
Nene and Darnell are like Pico’s siblings. Also they are the biggest allies to his gayness.
Anyways uhhhh- I do want to have at least a cameo, or a moment with Carol, Whitty, Hex, and Sunday, but no promises.
The second arc for this story is comprised of two halves; “world hopping”, and “glitched”
Basically, the “world hopping” is going to different worlds (I’m just gonna say rn that DDTO is literally fucking canon in this world, but only the bit after they end up in DDLC), and then the “glitched” is in reference to Pibby apocalypse because yes that’s a cool idea and yes I want it to be canon. However, I am still trying to work out issues with how they save the world n shit. Honestly, because Pibby is originally from a kids show I genuinely might just have the world be saved in that cringy child show way lmfao.
Also- I do want them to world hop to another world besides DDLC, and it’s like- it’s not like it’s a major spoiler or anything, but for the funsies, you’ll have to wait and see.
Uhhhhhhhhhh OH
OH UH- I CAN SAY THIS BUT I CANT REALLY ELABORATE ON IT-
After the final main arc, I want to do little “in the future” stories, and one of them, is dealing with C o n v i c t….
Monster and Harvester are also canon, though I think y’all knew that.
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Body Headcanons
No one asked but here you go. I’m putting this one under the cut because it’s really long.
Characters: Edd, Tom, Matt, Tord, Eduardo, Jon, Mark
TW: I talk about booties and thighs
Edd: 6'1. Man's is chugging cola throughout the day it is no surprise he's heavy set. Not much for personal grooming. He maintains his cleanliness but the most hair he'd let grow out is a light stubble. Really dark leg and arm hair. Has cellulite and stretch marks but doesn't seem to mind. Actually, has a hand full of tattoos! Nothing crazy, they're mostly patchwork tattoos. Although, when Edd and the other three were all in high school they all gave themselves matching stick and poke tattoos. It’s a smiley face that looks uncannily like the ASDF Movie face. Granted none of them had experience doing tattoos so they made Edd do it for all of them. They all have it on the inside of the right wrist and they're all equally pretty wonky. Although Matt ended up doing Edd's making his look the absolute worst.
Matt: 6'4 A God damn string bean. Most definitely the palest of them all, like you could see the color of his veins pale. He is the definition of a pretty boy. Long legs and surprisingly strong calves. Also has the nicest butt of them all. Don't tell him though, it'll only inflate his ego. Will make sure everyone knows you think his butt is nice and the others will get annoyed. Still has acne scars from high school because he was a chronic skin picker. He also still had fangs from the time he was turned into a vampire. Is he still one? He won't tell~ Covered in freckles from head to toe. He shaves, though it’s mostly because he did it once and now he hates the feeling of the stubble growing back. Although he's not the greatest at it so he still gets nicks and cuts. After the experience with the stick and poke tattoo, he never got another. There's a part of him that regrets it, but he'd never think to cover it up or get rid of it. When he's feeling low, he likes to admire it and think about all of his memories with his buddies.
Tom: 5'8 and fucking smug about it. He is BIPOC. He’s a bit anemic so it makes his skin appear paler than he actually is. His height spawns constant arguments with Tord over who's taller. And yes, there was one point where Tom and Tord tried to see who could make their hair taller than the other. Definitely has a beer gut. Also did I mention the happy trail~ ugh- I'm so weak. No ass to speak of tho. Back is built like a board, sadly. If you ask him to sit in your lap it will hurt, he's got a boney ass. However, he does have really nice thighs. Can we talk about his body modifications now? Okay thank God because- ugh! First of all, he had his tongue split, and he loves showing it off. Used to have his tongue pierced but he hated the feeling after a while. All of his other piercings? He has gauges, two other piercings along the shell of his ear, and snake bites. Actually, has a couple of tattoos as well as the old stick and poke one. He’s always down to go get a new one.
Tord: 5'6 and a half, 5'8 and a half with the haircut. Doesn't go out that often so he's pasty. Nowhere near Matt levels of pale, but it's noticeable. Before leaving the crew, he was actually pretty heavy set. Mans looked like the textbook definition of a weeb. However, when he returned, he was surprisingly lean. You can almost see a hint of muscles too. He’s got a gap between his two front teeth. Quite a bit harrier than Tom. Does not trim whatsoever. Never has never will. Nasty stinky man. Probably has ridiculously noticeable pit hair. Likely to get really cringy tattoos like anime girls from hentai. But it's okay pookie I forgive you. After the events of "The End" Tord's arm was ripped to shreds. So, he actually gets another tattoo done professionally on his opposite wrist. He quite literally just got a replica of their matching tattoo. Why you ask? I’m sentimental, okay?
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Eduardo: 5'10 and a half. The most likely to lie about his height and say is 6ft. He’s kind of a manlet and will make it your problem. His parents are Puerto Rican and he’s dark-skinned. Chubby, though he surprisingly doesn't have as much sugar in his diet. Unsurprisingly, Eduardo is actually rather hairy. No one knows why he's so damn hairy and can't grow a proper mustache. Has a little bit of an ass, though he does have really strong thighs. Probably the type to be able to crush a watermelon with them. Not much into body modifications, although he does have his mother's name tattooed on his shoulder blade. He’s high key a total momma’s boy. Used to have his ears pierced but they closed up long after high school.
Jon: 5'3. Doesn't actually care about his height. He surprisingly pretty built, despite his massive sweet tooth. Him and Mark actually go to the gym together. Though he's more into training his legs. Has the highest stamina of anyone. Mans could be a whole track star if he wanted to. Another member of the cute butt squad. I'd almost call it a bubble butt. Also, this guy doesn't know how to dress. Mother fucker would either wear cargo shorts and a polo top or maybe one if those obnoxious Hawaiian t-shirts. Someone please step in and help the guy, I am begging.
Mark: 6'3 and a half. Another frequent gym goer. Can bench press around 230 pounds easily. Although, he prefers to hide how ripped he is with turtlenecks. His hair is so blonde that it can be a little difficult to notice how hairy he is. For that reason, he surprisingly doesn't do much in the grooming department. Except for his eyebrows, he gets them threaded. Had a phase where he was really into vampires in high school, so he has a neck tattoo of a vampire bite. That's why he always wears the damn turtleneck. He has a love hate relationship with that damn tattoo. Absolutely mocks Jon's fashion choice as he always dresses up. Except at the gym, that's the only time he lets himself dress down when leaving the house.
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#hcs#ew edd#ew mat#ew tom#ew tord#ew eduardo#ew jon#ew mark#ew-headyhearts#ew headyhearts#ew headcanons#ew imagines
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What’s an aroaces equivalent of horny posting?
Complaining about the smut he just read
I started reading some, what I assumed to be cringy, like taboo romance
Just for shits and giggles, I needed a laugh
And 1 it wasn’t even that taboo 2 holy fuck why was it actually good and 3 I’m so touch starved that I’ve been almost crying at books that are two thirds BDSM smut
I feel somewhat robbed of the ridiculous taboo romance I thought I was going into, since both book one and two have like stereotypical taboo romance plots
The first one they’re stepbrothers, but like only for a little while because the parents end up getting divorced after like two months
The second one has like a 12 year age gap, but when they get together they’re 21 and 33, that’s not bad that’s normal
But like why are they good????
And now I’m touch starved and kinda horny
Never thought I’d be getting horny at BDSM smut
Doesn’t matter though because I do not need a new hobby
I’m sure that when I get someone willing to put up with my ass I’ll just make them choke me and call me their baby boy
But no new hobbies, I have too many
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There’s just something incredibly pathetic to me seeing the producer for = (Equal Sign) get bullied on Twitter by ARMY simply for saying in a post about j-hope fans and ARMY streaming the song only for them to get incredibly possessive and gatekeepy that j-hope’s fans are only called ARMY.
No they are not. ARMY is the fandom name for BTS, and yes, he addresses ARMY when doing a lot of his solo stuff (especially when the videos were literally recorded for/from HYBE/BH). But when at Lollapalooza he also addressed Chicago, conscious of the fact that there would be people listening to him for the first time and would not be BTS fans, therefore NOT ARMY. Many of whom could have become fans since then and only know him from that event as j-hope and not BTS.
I just hate it, I also hate how the fandom is so restrictive that unless you claim the fandom name you’re not a true fan of them, and not like, also people who think fandom names are cringy and childish and it’s this weird ass behavior that causes a lot of people to not want to associate with the name ARMY. I sure as fuck don’t, I have always found fandom names lame, ARMY, Beyhive, Swifties, Beliebers, the *name*nators like all of this is just so ridiculous and unnecessary. If you wanna identify with it go ahead, but not everyone should feel trapped into dumb fandom lingo and titles just to say you enjoy a bands music and like its members, that’s stupid.
So no, not all BTS fans are ARMY, not all j-hope fans are ARMY, they’re just fans, and more specifically their fans of music, whether that be j-hope’s or BTS’ if you’re just getting into them, it’s because you like their music.
#Sab talks BTS stuff#for a fandom that hates being associated with 15 year old girls they sure do act like a bunch of high school bullies#also people who gatekeep artists are scum that's a universal fact for any artist#you don't own them as a fan and you should WANT more people to love the artist you love#their music is not a possession for you to deny others stop being fucking weirdos
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star gazing at the beach, enjoying the last days of summer as august is slipping away.
wall of text below the link.
“I’ve just ran pass a flower shop and look what I have!” Luc tilted up from his phone as Della ran on the white sand toward him, a bouquet of daffodil in her arms.
“Awwww, pretty flowers. Bright yellow, suit your hair. It will look better in the morning though.” He nodded. It was nearly 10 p.m on the beach. You can imagine how lack of lights it was.
“I bought it for you, actually.” She handed him the flowers. “You know, late-night jogging around the neighborhood, seeing some cute blossom by the street and immediately thought of that one person waiting for me at home.”
Della was grinning, innocently and absolutely adorably, as if melting him with a heart-warming little surprise is nothing. Luc wanted to hug her, but he couldn’t help noticing, “I love them, darling, really beautiful and the scent is so so so nice and all that. But by thinking of me, did you mean the Greek myth about it or…”
“You’re right. But aren’t they actually lovely despite the “you’re a narcissist” meaning?”
“Yeah, totally. I’d stay optimistic and remember that I was there in your mind while you were out.”
That statement earned him some soft chuckles from Del. She asked, “Since when have you not?” as she flopped down next to him on the mat. “I remember telling you that multiple times. Your ego doesn’t need to be bigger, but spoiling you is probably my duty, isn’t it?”
No, it was not. But Luc was not going to say that, because he was busy fiddling with his flowers, carefully not to ruin them. Luc would definitely brag about it to anyone in the household until those daffodils dried. For now, they were delicate, despite the darkness falling over them, shading the golden petals, he could imagine the twinkling sight of them in his room when he woke up the next morning.
Undeniably, Della had been stuffing him with gifts and kisses and hugs all the time. But then, throwing roaches and punching did balance the relationship between them, and Luc did not mind that anyway. Surprises were thrilling, no matter sweet or brutal. And who wouldn’t jumped in for the thrill head-first, fearless? Especially when Della was the one dragging you?
“Thank you.”
“For spoiling you? Unusual respond, weirdo.” She rolled her eyes, the coner of her lips twitched up into a smirk.
“For anything you’ve ever done to me and for me. I love you.”
“Who doesn’t?” She said, perhaps automatically, but then added in, “Just kidding, I love you too. But you don’t need to look at me like that, they’re just some plants, nothing much.”
“I adore them, that’s count. And I think you’re the best thing that’s ever been mine, that’s count too.” He was about to say something about wanting to keep her by his side forever, even though both of them might die anytime soon. And since when did Della want commitment? Yeah, so he had been asking that same question until they got together five years ago, and everything has changed, but something in her mind stayed unpredictable.
Even Luc could not tell exactly what did he want to do for the future, anyway, so who was he to complain? Though, life without Della was inconceivable, probably she was going to be there also.
If Del weren't around, who would drag him to the bookstore at least once a week? Who would sit on the counter and read while Luc cooked? Who would annoy him every single day and then kiss him tenderly? And, of course, who would run to the beach to bring him flowers at 10 in the evening? He doubt there was a convincing answer to those questions.
“Luc, would you mind if I call you princess?” Great, he was thinking about questions with no answers and she blurted out with an actual ridiculous one.
“You can call me whatever you want, but why?”
“Because it is super cringy? Because you look like the kind of dude says “fuck off bitch, I’m getting the crown” while support the princess to follow her heart?” She made a face at him, then turned her gaze to the ocean, “But if you are my princess, I will give you proper princess treatment.”
“Okay, first of all, people don’t throw roaches at princesses.”
“Make sense. Anyway, why are we out here?”
Oh, he hadn’t told her his actual reason for sitting on the beach this late at night yet.
In New York, it got really hard spotting the stars in the night. In a peaceful coastal town, it was significantly easier. No light pollution and no skyscrappers, much better.
“Look up, Del.” He said, and their shoulders brushed.
“Wow.” Della whispered. “So this is the Midnights aesthetic.”
“Yup, Bejeweled coded.” Luc sneaked a glance at her as he casually pulled her into his arms. She was even more glittering than starlights, and not technically, just the way her eyes gleaming and her hair tousled by the wind, imperfectly perfection. There are millions of glowing dots up there, illuminating the blondie leaning on him down here.
She said, still staring at the dome above, “The sky is so beautiful.”
And he replied, his eyes on her, “Yes, it is.”
#aesthetic board#mood board#moodboard#summer#august#summer aesthetic#beach aesthetic#starlights#writers on tumblr#oc#playlist
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bet on it
Pairing: Na Jaemin x female!reader
Themes: smut | fluff | kidna cracky | light angst | fake dating!au | college!au | idiots to lovers!au | love letters
Word count: 21.2k
Summary: One day, Jaemin stops by with a strange request. Any other person would just laugh in his face and refuse in a second. Unfortunately, I, being the dumbass I am, agree to it. Soon enough, everything gets out of hand, causing much more drama than we could ever predict.
Or in other words, Jaemin shouldn’t bet on things he knows he can’t win.
Warnings: all characters share like 3 brain cells, and somehow they all belong to Ten??? | self-indulgent type 3 diabetes fluff | cursing | mutual pining | college duties negligence | scheming and plotting | double-crossing | hookup culture condoning | corny and cringy stuff | alcohol consumption | smoking | extreme winter sports | amateur matchmaking | professional wooing | manipulative behaviour | steamy smut | oral female!receiving | thigh riding | spanking | marking | overstimulation | protected sex | lots of teasing | made up warnings | I don’t remember more
A/N it’s an instalment for love letters event hosted by neosmutcollective, I hope you enjoy my jaemin entry as well as other entries written by my friends from the network, check out the event tags too, and yeah, happy valentine's day! 😏 💖
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“What?” I yelled, almost spitting my tea. No, I must’ve heard him wrong. Jaemin wouldn’t be stupid enough to do that. It had to be a joke. Or I must’ve imagined him say that. “You don’t mean that,” I added, still in shock, trying to comprehend what just happened.
“Come on, Noona,” Jaemin whined, staring right into my eyes, wishing for me to say yes to his ridiculous proposal. “I wouldn’t suggest that if I knew we couldn’t pull through.”
With a sigh, I shook my head. Jaemin’s proposition was absurd, and I couldn’t believe I was about to ask him again to walk me through it.
Damn me and my curiosity.
“Before I make my mind about this… tell me what the fuck led you guys to make that stupid bet. Then, and only then, I will still say no, but in good faith,” I demanded, smiling at Jaemin, knowing I wouldn’t make it easy for him to convince me. The odds weren’t in his favor, and he really had to put in lots of effort if he really wanted me on board.
“So we were chilling after practice, and then Haechan started to tease me that I have no game anymore,” Jaemin started, and I rolled my eyes. Of course, I should’ve figured it out. A man in his age apparently is a failure unless he has a different girl in his bed at least 3 nights a week, moaning his name at the top of her voice. Even though Jaemin doesn’t have a competitive nature, it still provoked him into agreeing to this absurd bet.
Life must be though with an ego so fragile…
Jaemin isn’t a fuckboy, yet he still has a fair share of love conquests. Though I had no idea whether it was true or not, he must have fallen a little behind the others – otherwise, they wouldn’t tease him about it.
“And then I said his mother must’ve dropped him on the head if he really thinks that,” Jaemin carried on. I nodded my head, trying to wrap my head around this preposterous situation. “Then, I said I could seduce any girl I want,” he added proudly, making me want to flicker his forehead, hoping it would knock some sense into that empty skull at the top of his neck.
“Okay, but how the hell did you end up with having to seduce me? This is the part I have the most trouble understanding,” I pointed out, cocking my eyebrow.
“Then, Chenle suggested we bet on it, and I agreed to it,” Jaemin whispered, looking away, sounding both regretful and shy. “I urged them to pick any girl, so Haechan looked around to choose my next conquest. It was the time when you and Ten were walking to the dance studio, and that bastard suggested you.”
So it was Haechan’s doing – I should’ve figured this one out. He was the only one wicked enough to possibly ruin somebody’s friendship because of a stupid bet.
Or, it was quite genius of him – maybe he figured Jaemin would not cross this line, choosing our friendship over winning this imbecilic bet.
“And you were confident you can woo me? What about our friendship? Does it mean anything to you?” I inquired, curious of what was going inside his head when he agreed to this half-witted bet. Did he seriously think we could have sex and then forget all about it?
“It’s not like that! I don’t want to woo you. I mean… I could, and you would be very much aware if I tried to hit on you, and you would fall for me. No doubts on that,” Jaemin spoke confidently, grinning like an idiot with ego blown way out of proportion. “But–“
Jaemin was about to say something dense, so before more bullshit managed to leave his mouth, I hit him with a cutting board. Jaemin whined, but I was sure he was exaggerating for comedy purposes. My hit was calculated and balanced – it was powerful enough for him to understand it wasn’t a good idea, but at the same, it was not going to cause any permanent damage to his brain. I’d never purposefully do that to him.
“We’re not having sex. Get that shit inside your head,” I interjected, pouring my herbal tea down my throat, already thinking about making another cup. This conversation was making me uncomfortable, and I wanted to put an end to it. Perhaps another lemon balm tea would calm my nerves.
Ignoring his penetrating gaze, I shuffled around the kitchen, setting the kettle on the stove. In the meantime, Jaemin walked around the kitchen island and grabbed me by my shoulders, looking straight into my eyes.
“Come on, Noona, I am not asking you to sleep with me,” Jaemin defended his case, quite determined to pull me on his side.
“Well… it looks exactly like you’re asking me to sleep with you,” I cut in, walking around him to the cabinet to get a fresh tea bag. I’ve really had enough of this bullshit.
“We could just make it look like like we did,” he carried on, and I heaved a deep sigh, regretting even letting him in today. I had this extremely boring essay to write, and at this point, I’d rather begin my research on whatever topic my professor assigned.
“It’s still a no from me, sorry,” I replied harshly, crashing Jaemin’s expectations. Judging by the look on his face, it wasn’t the outcome he anticipated when he decided to knock on my doors. “What happens when you lose that bet? Well… except for your pride, of course.”
“500 dollars.”
“Ouch, sowwy, I hope you can afford that,” I added with a fake smile, patting him on the shoulder, being well aware this amount of money was a game-changer to Jaemin’s budget. If he won, he would have the time of his life, spoiling himself. However, if he lost, he’d have to eat instant ramen on every meal for the entire month. “Either way, I hope it will teach you a lesson to not bet on things you know you can’t win.”
“Ugh, fine,” Jaemin groaned in disappointment, reaching for my hands, holding them carefully as if they were made of china. “If you help me, I’ll give you half of the money,” he proposed, and I looked at our hands linked together, then quickly shifted my gaze to his eyes. “If you help me win, you’ll get 250 dollars, and you’ll be finally able to buy those fancy shoes you wanted so bad. What do you say?”
When did he get so persuasive?
It was a low blow.
Jaemin knew that these shoes were tempting me ever since I had seen them. Multiple times, my thumb hovered over the add-to-cart button. Every time, I resisted the temptation last minute upon seeing the price tag, though. This purchase was way out of my budget. However, now, when the new income opportunity presented itself, it made me wonder.
Suddenly, the kettle began to whistle, bringing me down to Earth from that ridiculous train of thought. Shaking my head, I tore my hands out of Jaemin’s gentle grasp, fidgeting back to the stove, pouring boiling water into the cup.
“Okay, fine, but I have a few questions first,” I gave up after a short pause for intense pondering, and Jaemin smiled brightly in instant gratitude and relief. Without my help, he would be doomed. “And then, if I like the answers, I have a few conditions.”
“Anything.”
“Okay, so first of all, how much time do we have to do the deed,” I inquired as I blew some air before taking a cautious sip.
“About two weeks,” Jaemin mentioned after a while as he had counted on his fingers how many days we have to team up and win five hundred dollars for us. “Officially, we have to do it before Jaehyun’s birthday party,” he specified, and I hummed, realizing it is very little time.
“You seriously think I am that easy? Outrageous,” I gasped, throwing a fake tantrum as I made my way around him to sit down on the barstool on the other side of the kitchen island.
“No, of course not,” Jaemin quickly realized what I was getting on, so he smiled sheepishly, already trying to figure out the best wording to calm me down. “I am just that good,” he added, and I leaned over to smack his shoulder. “Kidding,” he defended himself, stepping out of my reach. “Renjun proposed this party, I mean, it’s the easiest way they can verify we did it,” Jaemin carried on, and I cursed under my breath.
How convenient.
“But we’re not going to do the fucking,” I stated, as a matter of fact, repeating myself in order to make sure we were both on the same page. As much as it would be pleasant to actually do it with him, never under these circumstances.
“No, we’re not, but I guess we can sneak out upstairs to one of the unoccupied rooms, and once we make sure they’re listening, you can just shout how good I’m fucking you,” Jaemin reasoned, and I sighed as regret once again washed through me.
“That’s creepy,” I commented as my mind conjured an image of a group of peeping Toms, eavesdropping on our sex session. Once again, I felt the temptation to drop out of this deal, but then, another thought crossed my mind. “Ugh, fine, I’ll do it. All I have to do is shout for two minutes, and then, these cute shoes will be mine.”
“Two minutes? Are you insane?” Jaemin hollered, offended by my comment. “It happened once, and it was ages ago. I’ve learned plenty of tricks since then,” he blabbered, acting way too defensive for his past mishap. “Just let me live in peace, please.”
“Okay, so we have established the deadline, and although it’s not enough time for anyone to woo me, let’s go with it.”
“Thank you! I knew I could count on you,” Jaemin replied with gleeful enthusiasm as he sat down on the barstool beside me and pressed a chaste kiss against my knuckles.
“But you have to go overboard with the courting,” I added, making Jaemin groan. Hard work wasn’t his best suit, but this time, he really had to try his best, or I’d have to turn him down at Jaehyun’s party. “You really have to make it believable and super romantic. Otherwise, I’m out,” I clarified, and Jaemin nodded, though unwillingly.
“Fine, any other wishes in mind?”
“Once we win the bet, we have to end this whole fake-dating fiasco immediately,” I announced, already planning ahead. It was easy to win the bet, but the most difficult part was getting back to normal. If we planned to fake-date in order to fake-fuck, then it was reasonable to figure out how we’re going to fake-break up.
“We should agree on admitting it was the best sex of our lives, but despite that, we value our friendship even more, so we decided to remain friends. How does it sound?” Jaemin suggested, and I had to once again resist the temptation to roll my eyes.
“I agree with the overall message, but later, we have to work on proper delivery.”
***
On the very next day, Jaemin and I decided to implement our secret plan.
Since I specifically asked to be courted in an over-the-top manner, Jaemin suggested going to the cinema. There were no attention-grabbing titles screened, yet ultimately, we agreed on watching the very last projection of the sequel to Wonder Woman.
“Go get the snacks, I’ll buy the tickets,” I ordered once we stepped into the cinema area of the nearest shopping mall. It was two o’clock in the afternoon, so the establishment wasn’t crowded. Except for us, there was only a family of three slowly making their way to the exit.
“See you in five minutes,” Jaemin murmured before he walked off to the bar to get us some salty popcorn and soda drinks. Though we both considered them way overpriced, it was a perfect way to celebrate the beginning of our fake relationship.
“We still have some time until the movie starts,” Jaemin shyly whispered as he cleared his throat. “Let’s take some selfies to make it public,” he added, and I nodded, sending him a timid smile, knowing this protocol had to be done in order to properly keep up appearances.
These days, everything had to be posted on social media, or it didn’t exist. If we didn’t leave a single digital mark, people might’ve grown a little bit suspicious of our alleged rendezvous. It would probably shock our friends, but it had to be done if we wanted to really sell it to them.
The circumstances were perfect for an impromptu first-date photo shoot. We were able to snap a few pictures without any annoying looks of prying eyes, choose the best angles, and finally post it with an ambiguous description confusing the shit out our friends.
Though Jaemin took about fifty photos, ultimately, I allowed him to upload three.
One picture showed me standing back to the camera as I looked at the cinema schedule, trying to pick a movie. I was wearing an A-line crimson red dress and a pair of warm black tights – the outfit really made my figure look pretty slim.
“What do you think about this one?” Jaemin inquired, showing me the photo of our interlaced hands. With a hum, I inspected the picture, giving him the green light. It was appropriate for our first date – it would signify we weren’t at the cinema as friends.
“This one looks good enough,” I commented as I reached to swipe across the screen of his smartphone. “I look cute here,” I added, showing Jaemin a picture of us. We were smiling, staring at the camera, almost stuffing our faces into the bucket of popcorn.
“What kind of description should I write?”
“Something vague, I guess,” I answered with a shrug, having no clue what kind of comment would be fitting for this Instagram post. “Maybe stick to emojis,” I suggested, and Jaemin went back to work, adjusting filters and typing the description.
With a chuckle, Jaemin handed me his phone, letting me approve his commentary.
“Are you out of your mind?” I hollered, quickly deleting the emojis. Having smacked his shoulder, I turned around, blocking him from seeing the screen. Three blushed emojis suited our fake-date better than a popcorn bucket, a wine glass, and an eggplant.
“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself,” Jaemin apologized, still laughing at his incredibly funny joke.
“Here, I posted it,” I said with an eye roll, throwing his phone at his lap. “The commercials must’ve started; let’s go,” I rose from my seat and extended my arm, wanting Jaemin to hand me the cup of coke. Jaemin, however, completely misunderstood my intentions, putting his hand into mine, holding it gently. “Give me my drink, Jaemin.”
“Sorry,” Jaemin sheepishly smiled before he yanked back his hand and turned his head around, too embarrassed to look at me. I, on the other hand, laughed hysterically. That should’ve served him right after that emoji faux pas.
“I was kidding,” I admitted when my laughter died down. “Come on, Jaemin. Let’s go; I want to see the trailers,” I added before grabbing his hand, hauling him inside the screening room.
At the last row, we plopped down onto our double seat, getting comfortable for the movie. With our belongings thrown onto the neighboring seat, we stretched our limbs before the lights went out, providing us with the best viewing experience.
“Do you think they’ve seen it?” Jaemin whispered into my ear as he placed his head on my shoulders. “I want to check it, but at the same time, I don’t.”
“Mood,” I replied, feeling just as anxious.
The movie began, and we quickly forgot about our bold social media statement, focusing much more on the screening. Residing to our typical behavior, Jaemin placed his head on my shoulder, snuggling closer, taking full advantage of the bucket of popcorn, which rested on my thighs.
It was peaceful and comfortable – just as things were before Jaemin had come up with his brilliant idea to fake-date each other for the sake of that ludicrous bet. Though we acted the way we used to with each other, it felt somewhat different with that supposed romantic connotations haunting us. Not necessarily bad kind of different, though.
Just as we expected, two hours was more than enough for our friends to spam our individual inboxes. We both had dozens of messages from group chats, as well as private ones. All of them were asking and/or speculating what happened and why.
“I don’t feel like answering any of these,” I muttered, dreading to read what Ten and Jiwoo wrote on our roomies’ group chat. “I don’t feel like coming home, either. They’re gonna eat me alive with questions. I am not ready to face them yet. Wanna hang out some more?”
“Fuck, even my mom has seen them,” Jaemin cursed under his breath, completely forgetting about his mother being a mad keen Instagram user. Now, when he looked at our arrangement from a slightly different angle, Jaemin realized it brought way more consequences than he was planning on facing.
It was bad.
Really bad.
With shaky hands, I unlocked my phone, checking the Instagram post Jaemin had tagged me in. Not only our friends flooded the group chats, but also, they didn’t forget to embarrass us even further in the comment section.
lucas_xx444: what the heck??? 😧 is this for real???
yuu_taa_1026: finally!!1 maybe they stop simping for each other now 🤡
_jeongjaehyun: another man down, shame 😔
choi.jiwoo21: 🙄🙄 some men actually grow up, jeong…
mama_nana: Why am I only finding about this now?
“Well… fuck,” I murmured under my breath, still unable to process the fact that Jaemin’s mom knew about it. It was supposed to be a harmless charade; however, with each passing minute, it was getting out of hand. “What is the damage control procedure?” I asked in concern, biting the bottom lip nervously. Lying to our friends was pretty bad, but keeping this relationship thingy up in front of his mother was despicable.
“You know how she is,” Jaemin started, and I sighed, wishing I had no clue of what she was capable of. Unfortunately, I did, and it scared the hell out of me. “Either we go and visit her, or she’s coming to visit us,” he wondered, unable to choose which option was worse. “Fuck, she’s calling me. What do I do?”
With panic flashed in his eyes, Jaemin handed me his phone, expecting me to handle the conversation with his gossip-girl type of a mother. As if that would ever happen…
“Pick up and tell her we’re awfully busy or something,” I ordered him, gliding my finger across the screen, pressing the device against Jaemin’s ear.
“Hi, mom,” he spoke through gritted teeth, staring at me in absolute fury. Quickly, his hand cupped mine before he grabbed the phone, adjusting it.
By Jaemin’s mom’s standards, the conversation was brief. Or rather, her monologue was because Jaemin didn’t speak a single word through the entirety of it. Except for a couple of mmm’s thrown here and there, he didn’t engage at all.
Ideally, Jaemin would schedule the visit after we will have broken up. He’d go there by himself and tell her a story of us coming back to our senses and deciding to remain just friends. Unfortunately, that would require at least one functional brain cell and a pinch of assertiveness – both of which Jaemin seemed to lack.
“And?” I inquired, praying to hear some good news.
With a sheepish smile, Jaemin cautiously looked up at me. “We’re visiting her for dinner on Friday,” he announced, and I gripped my hands, trying to refrain myself from beating the shit out of him.
I didn’t sign up for any of this!
I just wanted some shoes.
“I hate you, Na Jaemin,” I angrily declared, storming out of the cinema, ready to indulge myself with plenty of greasy food. It wasn’t the best coping mechanism, but I needed to consume a ridiculous amount of calories in order to forget I was stupid enough to agree to participate in this travesty. “Are you coming or not?!”
***
The last thing I wanted was to face my roommates. They must’ve had dozens of questions about this out-of-the-blue date, and I was dreadful because I couldn’t provide them with genuine answers. Perhaps, I could try to confabulate my way out of this, but it was, nonetheless, risky.
Having eaten at least two servings of a delicious greasy meal Jaemin and I went for a stroll under the pretense of taking some more photos for future references.
Around 8 o’clock, I unwillingly made my way home. Even with that romantic aura lurking around us, it was still fun to hang out with Jaemin.
Walking up the stairs to the fourth floor, I wondered about possible solutions to my problem. In a perfect scenario, I’d sneak into my room without anyone noticing, so I wouldn’t have to deal with any prying questions until, at least, early morning.
Unfortunately, the moment I pulled out my keys, the doors swung wide open.
“Well, well, well…” Ten tsked with a mischievous smirk dancing across his gorgeous face. Asshole. How dare he tsk me? “Had fun on your date?” He asked, and I tried my best to ignore him. It wasn’t that easy, though. With Jiwoo backing up his teasing, I was outnumbered.
“So… you and Jaemin, huh?” Jiwoo mused, cocking up her eyebrow in curiosity. “Spill the tea. I didn’t spam your inbox to not hear all the details,” she added, and I rolled my eyes, regretting all of my poor life choices that led me to this moment.
“I’ll bring wine,” Ten hollered before he disappeared in the kitchen, also keen on knowing everything that had happened between us. “Don’t say anything until I get there!”
They wanted to hear a romantic story of how two friends realized they had hots for each other, and that’s exactly what I did. Unwillingly, I provided them with an incredible piece of fiction of how we felt the spark when Jaemin stopped by the other day.
Admittedly, it was easy to go with the flow once the wine molecules were coursing through my veins. With some liquid inspiration in my bloodstream, I narrated how adorable Jaemin had been when he had gathered enough courage to ask me out on a date.
“So I assume you’re bringing Jaemin to the cabin on the weekend,” Jiwoo inquired in a teasing manner, and I blinked in confusion. What cabin was she talking about? “You forgot, didn’t you?”
“Forgot about what?” I asked, still clueless about the whole ordeal. With a confused frown, I wondered what this cabin trip was about. Positively, I didn’t forget about it. It’s impossible to forget about plans you weren’t even invited to.
So, Jiwoo explained everything in great detail.
Apparently, Jaehyun and Johnny planned a weekend getaway to the cabin by the sea. They invited plenty of people, but since it’s the middle of a hectic period of exams, only a small percentage of invitees would be able to make it.
Jaehyun, Johnny, and Lucas gave up trying to get the best grades two semesters ago, so their schedule was pretty much open. Renjun, Chenle, and Yeri were nerds with every necessary book memorized by heart, so they didn’t have to cram the weekend before the tests. Jiwoo, being heads over heels in love with Jaehyun, would even cancel her manicure appointment to make it to that trip. She was that serious about this fratboy for some reason…
And now, two individuals needed a perfect excuse to ditch an uncomfortable family dinner. When a chance presented itself in front of me, I just couldn’t say no.
“I’m going. I don’t know about Jaemin, though. He’s meeting his mom on Friday, but maybe he can make it work.”
“Fantastic,” Jiwoo shouted in excitement before finishing her glass of wine.
“Now, when I think about it, I am glad I’ve taken an extra shift at the gym,” Ten chimed in with a playful smirk as he sipped his wine. “You two simping for each other was painful to watch, but now, when you’re hitting it off, it’s gonna be unbearable.”
“What do you mean simping?” I yelled in a threatening manner, ready to fight him for spitting nonsense so carelessly. I might’ve had a tiny crush on Jaemin, but I wouldn’t call it simping. Also, suggesting the simping was mutual? He must’ve lost his freaking mind. Ridiculous!
“Shit, I didn’t think this through,” Jiwoo mentioned, now probably re-considering if the trip is worthwhile. She would love to hang out with Jaehyun and finally make a move, but on the other hand, she would have to deal with my and Jaemin’s romantic shenanigans.
“Why are you such drama queens? We’ve been on one date, for crying out loud! Stop acting like we’re some kind of overly touchy couple because we’re not,” I barked, having no more energy to argue with them. “We’ll keep PDA to a minimum, don’t worry.”
“No need to get so defensive,” Ten added, enjoying my misery a bit too much.
“I am not getting defensive,” I argued, though facing real trouble, unable to actually back up my perspective. “Anyway, I am going to sleep. Unlike the two of you, some people have real jobs,” I added before storming to my room, plopping onto my bed with a tired groan.
Having changed into my pajamas and sneaked under the covers, I finally dared to connect my phone to the Internet. My inbox was full of texts, so I read them all. I didn’t feel like replying to any of them, though. Instead, I opened my chat with Jaemin.
my love 💖 | 20:41 | I figured it out
my love 💖 | 20:41 | You don’t have to thank me
my love 💖 | 20:41 | Also
my love 💖 | 20:41 | Wtf Jaemin?
my love 💖 | 20:41 | What kind of name is that???
my love 💖 | 20:42 | Change it back
baNANA 🍓 | 20:43 | No. 😘
baNANA 🍓 | 20:43 | The name stays
baNANA 🍓 | 20:43 | You can’t make me 😝😝
baNANA 🍓 | 20:44 | And what don’t I have to thank you for?
my love 💖 | 20:44 | I might’ve found alternative plans for friday
baNANA 🍓 | 20:44 | Oh???
my love 💖 | 20:45 | Jiwoo invited us to the cabin for the weekend
my love 💖 | 20:45 | We’re gonna get so drunk!
my love 💖 | 20:45 | It’s okay if you can’t make it, tho
baNANA 🍓 | 20:45 | Wow
baNANA 🍓 | 20:45 | I have an exam on Monday…
baNANA 🍓 | 20:45 | But I can make Haechan give me his notes
baNANA 🍓 | 20:46 | I wouldn’t miss it
my love 💖 | 20:46 | Good, then it’s a date
baNANA 🍓 | 20:46 | Date??? 🥰🥰
my love 💖 | 20:46 | Stop being so cringy!
baNANA 🍓 | 20:46 | Good night, love~~ 😘
baNANA 🍓 | 20:46 | Dream of me 😇😇😇
my love 💖 | 20:46 | Ugh.
my love 💖 | 20:46 | Disgusting 🤢🤮
baNANA 🍓 | 20:46 | I love you, too
***
As brilliant as my plan was, it fell through. Only partially, though. The little getaway was still a thing, but unfortunately, regardless of how much we tried, we couldn’t reschedule the dinner at Jaemin’s family home.
We still had to pay his parents a visit, but, at least, there was a silver lining.
Thanks to our hectic schedule, Jaemin’s mom wouldn’t have a chance to force us to stay longer. Whether she wanted to feed us dessert or stay the night, it was out of the question.
Since Jiwoo had one more exam to pass on Friday, half of the guests would have to show up later in the evening. Johnny, Jaehyun, Lucas, and Renjun were about to take off around noon while Jiwoo, Yeri, Chenle, Jaemin, and I had to carpool later in the evening.
I didn’t complain, though.
“It’ll be fine. It’s just my mom,” Jaemin reassured me, slipping his hand into mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I bet it’s gonna be like any other time you stopped by,” he added, and I cocked up my eyebrow suspiciously.
“You better be right,” I spoke, though still unconvinced. I knew Jaemin’s mother. She had a tendency to be, hmm…, a little bit extra. Who knew how she would behave now when she found out we were dating?
Since Jaemin was carrying our suitcases, I knocked on the front doors. Jaemin’s mom rushed to let us in, but not before she gave us bone-crushing hugs.
“I think you’ve misunderstood. I invited you for dinner. I didn’t ask you to move in with me,” Mrs. Na jested upon seeing the suitcases in Jaemin’s hands, misinterpreting the situation in the funniest way possible. “It must be shocking, but I enjoy living alone with your father.”
“We’re going to the beach with some friends after the dinner,” Jaemin clarified, and his mother hummed in understanding, acting a bit too cool about it. It’s been a while since Jaemin paid them a proper visit, and she was a little too nonchalant for my liking. “They’re going to pick us up around seven.”
She must’ve done something or was about to do something.
“Here’s some wine,” I spoke up, handing her the bottle as a small thank you gift for inviting us over for a delicious home-made meal.
“Thank you, dear. You’re so thoughtful,” Mrs. Na accepted the beverage, guiding us to the dining area. “I didn’t feel like cooking today, so I ordered some Chinese takeout. I hope you don’t mind,” she added, and I chuckled at her typical antics.
She was an amazing mother to Jaemin, raising him well, but she really was a terrible housewife. She didn’t change one bit, and I loved her for it. She had so much love for her husband, her son, and her son’s friends, and that’s what really mattered.
“Your father will be home in thirty,” she announced before she made a beeline to the kitchen to get a bottle opener. “And the takeout was supposed to arrive twenty minutes ago. If it weren’t for that slow delivery guy, I would’ve got away with my little secret,” she blabbered, laughing awkwardly.
“It’s okay, really,” I reassured her, sending her a genuine smile. “I am craving Chinese food, anyway,” I added before I elbowed Jaemin, so he would say something, too. For a blabbermouth he was, right now, he seemed awfully quiet.
Before Jaemin managed to provide his mother with a proper response, someone knocked on the doors. Since we had already arrived, it must’ve been the delivery guy with food.
“I’ll go get it,” Jaemin excused himself, leaving me alone with his mother.
“So…,” Mrs. Na cleared her throat as he began pouring wine into fancy glasses. “You guys are finally dating. And if you want me to be completely honest, I am a little bit disappointed,” she made a pause to look at me in the eye. What? She didn’t approve of me? That’s surprising; I used to think she adored me. “I am a little bit disappointed either of you didn’t make a move sooner. I was slowly losing hope,” she added, and I sighed in relief.
For a while, I was seriously concerned she didn’t like me.
“Are you expecting any guests? There’s no way we can finish it all by the four of us,” Jaemin commented as he walked into the dining room, setting two plastic bags of takeout. It smelled heavenly, and I couldn’t wait to taste whatever dish Mrs. Na had ordered.
“I can always invite your friends inside when they pull up,” she spoke matter-of-factly, but as soon as Jaemin looked at her sternly, she seconded that idea. “Or, I can pack it up, so you can share it with your friends later.”
“Should we wait for dad?” Jaemin asked when his stomach growled, demanding food. In the morning, he was quite anxious about going to his parents’ house, so he didn’t even bother to eat. Now, Jaemin was starving. He couldn’t wait any longer.
“I’ll get the plates,” his mom spoke, not really answering his question. Within two minutes, she came back with a special set of tableware. In their household, it was used only for holidays and other rare occasions. “Dig in,” she urged us, waiting for us to fill our plates before doing the same herself.
Whatever restaurant provided today’s dinner, it was remarkable. It wasn’t too salty, nor too spicy. Even when I was full, I still stuffed my mouth some more, unable to stop myself.
“You have sauce on your chin,” Jaemin remarked, pointing at his own chin, helping me locate the stray drop of soy sauce. “Here,” he added with a tired shake of his head, wiping it clean with his napkin.
“You two are too adorable,” Mrs. Na cooed, smiling at us widely. “It was worth the wait,” she added, and I creased my forehead in confusion. “Oh, did you hear that? It must be your dad,” Mrs. Na said upon hearing noise from the garage. “You keep eating, I’ll go greet his workaholic ass,” she excused herself with a playful smile before walking away from the table to welcome her husband as any loving wife would.
With a deep sigh, Jaemin leaned toward me, resting his arm on my chair.
“It’s not that bad, actually. I was excepting to go through some kind of FBI-level of interrogation, but she seems kind of chill about this whole thing,” Jaemin whispered into my ear, and I giggled, agreeing with him. It was kind of suspicious, but I couldn’t complain.
“It’s kinda creepy when she’s talking like she’s been rooting for us to end up together, but this one thing aside, it’s bearable,” I replied, and Jaemin nodded his head.
“I am gone for a minute, and you’re all over each other,” Mrs. Na snickered when she returned to the dining room, seeing Jaemin leaned in, only inches apart from my face. “Jaemin, mama’s so proud,” she added before she walked around the room to set the plate for Mr. Na.
“Stop embarrassing me,” Jaemin whined, playing with the food on his plate, pouting. Though his mother pretty much ignored his childish tantrum, I chuckled, finding it absolutely adorable. Maybe she was a teaser, but little Jaemin knew, he inherited it from her. It was time he experienced the taste of his own medicine.
The apple doesn’t fall that far from the tree…
The rest of the afternoon went peaceful. Though Mrs. Na threw in some cheesy remarks here and there, we could handle it. We were slightly buzzed, after all.
“It’s time for us,” Jaemin announced as he heard a car parked in front of the house. “It was nice. We should totally do it again,” he sarcastically added when he reached for my coat and helped me put it on.
“Don’t have too much fun,” she added with a playful smirk upon her face, earning a judging look from her more conservative husband. “No, wait, I second that. Have as much fun as you want. I am a cool parent,” she spoke, changing her mind in a matter of seconds. “And I plan on becoming a cool grandparent.”
At first, I wanted to remind her that we’re too young for children. Besides, technically, we only went on one date. It was definitely too soon to even think about these things, let alone talk about them out loud.
Thankfully, before I managed to say something I’d regret, Jiwoo honked, urging us to get going. If it wasn’t for her impatience, I might’ve ruined the image I had built for myself in Jaemin’s parents’ eyes.
“Your mother was joking! Always use protection,” Mr. Na hollered before he closed the doors after us.
***
Except for a few playful comments shot toward Jaemin and me, the ride was peaceful. As soon as we threw our suitcases into the trunk and squeezed in on the backseat, we hit the road. Jamming to Jiwoo’s playlist, we chatted in excitement, all of us in desperate need of a little vacation. It was a stressful time of a year, but maybe this short trip would actually help us recharge the batteries and calm down after busting our asses off.
“How was the dinner?” Jiwoo asked, staring at us in the rearview mirror. Since there was a limited amount of space, I was almost sitting on Jaemin’s laps. Jiwoo didn’t miss it with her eagle eyes. The way Jaemin played with my fingers didn’t go unnoticed, either.
“Bearable,” I muttered under my breath, not really wanting to recollect these memories now. I’d probably tell Jiwoo everything later, and she understood the subliminal message in a heartbeat. “How was your test?”
“I probably failed, but, at least, now I know what to expect,” Jiwoo answered as she turned to the left as the navigation system instructed her to.
In about two hours, we arrived at our destination.
Having stepped into the cabin with our heavy luggage in our hands, we encountered the middle of the party. A handful of beer bottles were scattered around the living area, the boys fervently discussing some matter.
“You’re finally here,” Jaehyun spoke matter-of-factly, as he noticed us in the threshold. “Go upstairs and leave your stuff in your rooms. We’ve already assigned them; just read the post-it notes stuck to the doors,” he explained before he turned away.
Huh, apparently, they were pros at planning.
The guys rented a cabin that consisted of six tiny bedrooms. Generally, we wouldn’t have a problem assigning them; however, since Jaehyun, Lucas, and Johnny didn’t want to room with anyone, we were facing a dilemma. They guys wanted to have some privacy if they managed to pick someone up at the hotel in the neighborhood. In this case, the six of us had to share rooms. Jiwoo and Yeri could room together. Renjun and Chenle could occupy another one, so it looked like they put Jaemin and me in the last one.
Thankfully, it wouldn’t be the first time when I had to share a bed with Jaemin. He had stayed the night plenty of times before when he dozed off during our Netflix marathons. However, it still was to be a little bit awkward since everybody thought we began dating. We were going to pull through, though.
As soon as possible, we came back downstairs, ready to even the score of consumed alcohol. All of us needed it. Everybody had a different reason for it, but none of our troubles were to be discussed tonight.
In the fridge, there was a whole palette of different types of alcohol. Quickly, I grabbed two tequila-flavored beers, handing one to Jaemin, allowing others to choose their poison.
My plan for tonight was to test every kind of alcohol, gradually going up with the percentages. It was a bad idea, but that’s what college was about – having fun like there’re no consequences.
We partied like there’s no tomorrow.
At first, we kept it simple. Fervent conversations led us to shout at one another, trying to force one perspective over the others. We were going through so many subjects that any sober bystander might’ve had real trouble comprehending how we managed to switch among them.
Then, someone suggested playing a drinking game. Of course, it had to be never have I ever. Everybody had so much fun, especially when the participants yelled at Jaemin and me because we didn’t even bother to abide by the rules. We were sipping our drinks whenever we felt like it, even between rounds, and it didn’t sit right with the rest. Eventually, they kicked us out of their little circle, giving us the crucial task of bringing some snacks from the kitchen.
Sometime past midnight, Jiwoo proposed going outside. It was beautifully snowing, but at the same time, it was freezing. Though I was opposed to this idea, everybody seemed to love it. The guys were throwing snowballs at each other, bringing out their inner child.
As if this wasn’t enough, they decided to take a stroll to the seaside. Though our cabin was maybe a mile away from the seashore, I didn’t particularly fancy the saunter. Jaemin was by my side, offering to warm my hand in his pocket, but I still was on the verge of freezing my ass off. I’d much rather sit by the fireplace under a few blankets with a mug of the mulled wine in my grasp. Apparently, everybody besides me was really intrigued by an ice bath and other winter extreme sports.
Though it was dangerous as fuck, Jiwoo took off her shoes and rolled up her jeans before she walked into the ice water of the sea. Being the dumbass he was, Lucas instantly followed suit.
“They seem to hit it off tonight,” I nonchalantly whispered as I elbowed Jaehyun. Jiwoo and Jaehyun might have a thing going on, but neither of them acted on it. Jiwoo was too whipped to make a move, too afraid of rejection. Jaehyun, on the other hand, was just a fuckboy, not really looking for a relationship. “Look at them. Don’t they look cute?” I carried on, cautiously watching Jaehyun’s expression. They weren’t together, but he seemed slightly jealous and frustrated watching her have lots of fun with Lucas.
In my opinion, he didn’t deserve her, but I didn’t really have a say in that matter. Jaehyun was the person Jiwoo’s heart longed for, and I, being her best friend, had to support that. Or, in this case, I had to give him a little push to get things in motion.
Jaehyun had some feelings for Jiwoo, but he needed some time and character development to fully comprehend them. Until then, it was my duty to remind him what he’s missing out on by not being serious enough to ask her out.
“Nah, I wouldn’t call them cute,” Jaehyun murmured through gritted teeth, positively jealous. “What they’re doing is dangerous; somebody has to stop them,” he added before he kicked off his own shoes, running toward Jiwoo to pick her up and bring her back to the shore.
“What was that?” Jaemin asked, being shook as to what he had witnessed.
“What was what? What do you mean?” I smirked, winking at him, hoping he wouldn’t tell anyone about it. “I didn’t do anything.”
“You played him,” Jaemin spoke, still impressed by how easily I manipulated Jaehyun into stepping into the scene, pulling Jiwoo away from Lucas. “Is this even legal? You’ve never done this one me, have you?”
“No, of course, not! Don’t be ridiculous,” I answered, though my tone suggested a completely different message. “You would’ve known, wouldn’t you?” I teased, chuckling at Jaemin’s funny expression. He was mortified. “I think you’re overreacting. I just pointed out some facts, and Jaehyun reacted to them according to his emotional opinion. I really didn’t do anything,” I added, defending my case.
“Don’t you ever try pulling a trick like that on me, okay?” Jaemin stated, and I nodded, giving him a promise. “I mean… I wouldn’t fall for it, but still, don’t.”
“We should head back to the cabin,” Johnny shouted, gathering the gang. Surprisingly, he seemed the most sober amongst us, so it didn’t come as a shock to me that he tried to look after his hammered friends.
In my opinion, it was a perfect call. I was slowly sobering up, and I definitely needed a refill. With my schedule packed, I had no idea when I would have a chance for another getaway, so I had to make the most out of this one.
As we returned to the cabin, Jaehyun’s eyes didn’t leave Jiwoo.
Jaemin, on the other hand, went upstairs to grab his camera, deciding it was the best time to snap photos. Of course, he had to take pictures of us when we were drunk out of our minds. Why didn’t he take any when we looked decent without smudged make-up?
“Sexy,” Jaemin commented as he pointed his camera at me. “Ahh, sexy,” he kept calling me that, and I stuck my tongue at him, wanting him to go away pester someone else. My hair was a mess, and my lipstick smudged off my lips a long time ago. “So sexy,” he carried on, making me roll my eyes at him. At some point, I tried kicking him, but that bastard was beyond my reach.
Around 2 o’clock, one by one, we began feeling tired.
Lucas was the first one to go. Considering how much alcohol he had drunk, I was surprised he lasted that long. Better yet, it was a shock he could even stand straight. Jaemin and Renjun had to escort him upstairs, but nonetheless, his alcohol tolerance was impressive.
I didn’t even realize when, but Yeri and Chenle managed to fall asleep on the couch. Firmly, Renjun shook them away, ordering them to go to their respective rooms. With tired yawns, they made their way upstairs, falling on their beds face-first.
“Let’s go to sleep,” Jaemin pouted as he sat on the side of the armchair, resting his head on my shoulder. Entwining his hand in mine, he stood up, pulling me up.
“Have fun, guys. We’re calling it a night,” I announced, refraining from yawning.
“No, you have fun,” Jiwoo replied, sending us a wink. Shaking my head, I sighed before we disappeared upstairs. I don’t know what she was thinking; however, I didn’t have the energy to keep my eyes open, let alone other nighttime activities. Besides, Jaemin was just as spent. Even if we were in a real relationship, we wouldn’t engage in half-conscious unsatisfactory messy sex.
“Come here,” Jaemin whispered as he smiled. His eyes were already closed as he patted the mattress beside him, waiting for me to join. “Good job. I think we really sold it to everybody,” he added as he snuggled closer, wrapping his limbs around my body.
“That’s good,” I purred, slowly drifting into dreamland. It was a long day, and it was finally over. Though it had a rough beginning, I ended it in Jaemin’s arms. “Good night.”
“Good night, my love,” Jaemin muttered, resting his head on my pillow right beside my face.
“You were supposed to change that name,” I replied, too drunk or/and too tired to realize it was his spoken words and not a text message.
***
During the second week of our relationship, we grew to be less tense around each other. Better yet, we seemed awfully comfortable, almost as if that’s how everything was meant to be. It was a little bit alarming, but I decided not to point that out. Even if it was just an act, I enjoyed it much more than I’d ever dare to admit. As long as it lasted, I was to savor it.
Ever since we came back from the weekend trip, Jaemin would pop up out of nowhere at least once a day with a surprise for me, proving how over the top he could be in courting a woman.
On Monday, he spammed his social media feed with my pictures from the trip. Of course, he didn’t forget to put a corny description under it, making me flustered. Even though I wouldn’t consider myself photogenic, Jaemin managed to bring out my best features with his photography talent and editing skills.
On Tuesday, Jaemin was waiting outside the auditorium with a cute bouquet of my favorite flowers – white roses. He was there to congratulate me on passing my last exam of the semester. The professor would send us results by the end of the week, but according to Jaemin, there was no chance I’d fail it.
“I still don’t get it how you do it,” Jaemin mused, scratching his temple, trying to put two and two together. “I hardly ever see you study, but then, you panic before an exam only to nail it later on. What kind of black magic is this?” He wondered, and I giggled, unable to explain my poor studying technique. I just winged it last minute every single time in my academic career.
“You better be right about this one,” I replied, still anxious about my grade. I didn’t manage to answer all of the questions, so a passing grade would be a relief. “I’m craving pasta. Do you want t go on a celebratory date?”
“You’re reading my mind,” Jaemin said, grabbing my hand, leading me to our favorite restaurant.
On Wednesday, Jaemin invited me to a bowling alley. Every month he would visit the establishment with his friends. Only on rare occasions, their significant others were invited. None of them could really commit to a serious relationship, so it never became a repetitive custom of their group.
“You guys are disgusting,” Haechan whined after our turn. Jaemin and I were losing by an enormous margin, but we didn’t mind. We were having fun despite a low score. “But at least, we’re winning,” Haechan added, pointing at Chenle and himself.
“I am the winner here,” Jaemin boldly announced, giving my hand a light squeeze, making me almost spit my soda.
Everybody cringed at Jaemin’s bold corny statement.
“I second that,” Haechan mused, looking away from Jaemin. “She’s bearable, and you are just absolutely repulsive,” he corrected himself, and I chuckled. Never in my entire life, I thought I would agree on something with Haechan, but this moment occurred right then.
On Thursday, although my schedule was packed with work, Jaemin insisted on hanging out. Tired out of my mind, I let Jaemin inside the apartment. He was carrying Mexican takeout; I couldn’t send him back home. Not when he had goodies.
“What do you want to watch?” I asked as I handed him the remote, allowing him to choose the movie. I was going to pass out anyway, so he might’ve as well picked something he liked.
“Anything is good,” he answered as he unwrapped his quesadilla, taking a bite off of it.
“The Notebook it is then,” I teased, but since Jaemin didn’t stop me, I put it on.
Having eaten my portion of a delicious meal, I lay down on the couch, resting my head on Jaemin’s thighs. I didn’t even realize when I fell asleep. Only when the credits were rolling down on the screen, Jaemin shook me awake.
“When did you fall asleep?” Jaemin inquired, a little bit mad that I forced him to watch the ultimate romantic movie of the twenty-first century. It was toxic as hell, and the way their behavior got romanticized didn’t sit right with me.
“As soon as I lay down,” I answered honestly, as I rolled around, staring at Jaemin’s handsome face. “How did you like the movie?” I asked innocently, swiftly changing the topic. It was for the better if Jaemin didn’t find out I paid no attention to the film. Instead of a great viewing experience, it was just a mere background noise that lulled me to sleep.
“I didn’t,” Jaemin whined, tapping his foot against the floor, making me sit up instantly. “It was toxic and sad at the same time. Noah was a manipulative jerk, and Allie was moody as fuck. The only bright side of their relationship is that they ended up with each other, not ruining other people’s lives,” Jaemin spoke the truth, and I couldn’t agree more. “In conclusion, give me my 2 hours back,” he added, and I hit him with a cushion.
Unable to comprehend what I just did, Jaemin blinked in confusion. Then, a few seconds later, he smirked and grabbed another cushion, ready to fight back.
Unfortunately, our childish antics were interrupted by Jiwoo. She was hanging out with Yuta, studying for the exam they had to retake the next day. To be completely honest, she couldn’t have any worse timing. While watching a movie was explainable, it wasn’t the case when it came to an impromptu pillow fight.
“Should I come back later, or something?” Jiwoo asked, pointing at the doors, willing to leave if it meant for me to get laid.
“Nah, Jaemin’s leaving. I am trying to kick him out, actually,” I announced, sticking my tongue out.
On Friday, Jaemin and I planned on going to the arcade. Unfortunately, we had to raincheck that. One of Jaemin’s coworkers fell sick, and Jaemin had to take a double shift at the coffee shop in his neighborhood.
I already had canceled my other plans to hang out with Jaemin, so I didn’t really want to stay at home all by myself. It was a Friday night, after all. Surprising him at work seemed like a better idea. His friends liked hanging out there; therefore, it must’ve been an excellent excuse for a little bit of acting in order to keep up appearances.
Quickly, I assembled a cute outfit and put on light make-up.
About an hour before the closing, I entered the coffee shop. Except for a few students with their noses in their computers, the establishment was empty.
“Welcome to–,” Jaemin hollered, ready to welcome the customers. “Oh, it’s you. What are you doing here?” He asked as a wide smile spread across his face, enjoying my surprise.
“I just came to surprise you,” I confessed, though none of us paid enough attention to the gravity of my words. I genuinely wanted to hang out Jaemin him as his girlfriend. “And I also wanted to get some discounted goodies. What do you have left?” I asked, looking over his shoulder, trying to see what food didn’t sell yet. An hour before the closing, everything on the menu was discounted by seventy percent, and I just couldn’t walk past that kind of deal.
“You’re not the only one who came for cheap stuff,” Jaemin commented as he saw Haechan and Renjun on the other side of the doors. “Take a seat, I’ll bring you your favorite,” he added, and I smiled at him, walking to the booth by the window.
Having finished my Greek sandwich, I focused on my cup of tea. I was scrolling through social media feed, giggling whenever I stumbled upon a funny meme. It was a perfect evening; complete relaxation in the rhythm of soft foreign jazz music playing through speakers, Jaemin checking up on me once every a couple of minutes.
“Oh, hi, there,” Haechan hollered as soon as he noticed me. He must’ve been returning to his table from a restroom. “I didn’t realize you’re here. What’s up?” We weren’t close, so his question was more like a polite generic statement rather than genuine curiosity.
“I’m waiting for Jaemin to finish, so we can hang out at my place,” I answered, hoping Haechan would get the suggestive tone.
“Actually, there’s something you should know,” he said quietly, looking around, probably checking if Jaemin was within earshot. “I am so ashamed it happened, but I really have to tell you something,” Haechan added, and I couldn’t wait for him to reveal the secret.
Haechan was playing dirty. He wanted to tell me about the bet, ruining Jaemin’s chance at getting me to sleep with him. It was some top-tier double-crossing, and I found it impressive. I had no clue Haechan had it in him.
“We shouldn’t have done it. I don’t know why we even agreed to this,” Haechan added, scratching the back of his head, trying to sound genuinely regretful. “I think Jaemin’s not genuine about the thing you have going on. You see, we made a bet. He has to have sex with you, or else he owes Chenle 500 bucks.”
“What?!” I exclaimed, hoping my consternation was believable. At first, I felt the temptation to say something along, yeah, I know, what’s new, but then I decided to play along. It was actually a good idea to make it seem like Jaemin’s about to lose the bet. Knowing them, they wouldn’t call it off. If anything, Jaemin could double the stakes. “No, it can’t be true. Jaemin would never –“
Now, it was my cue to make a scene. Hopefully, it would play out exactly like in my impromptu prediction.
Reaching the stage of fake hysteria, I rose from my seat and stormed to Jaemin. He was energetically wiping off the tables, wanting to leave shortly after the last customer.
“Is that true? Did you really make a bet you can have sex with me?” I yelled at him through gritted teeth. Jaemin, on the other hand, was confused as fuck. “Did you really think you could get away with it? You disgust me!” I shouted, slapping his cheek. “Don’t ever call me again,” I added before I turned on my heel, storming out of the coffee shop.
Being the only employee at work, Jaemin couldn’t run after me.
Jaemin deserved an explanation. I had to fill him in on my wonderful plan before he would blow it in front of Renjun and Haechan.
my love 💖 | 20:46 | play along
my love 💖 | 20:46 | trust me
my love 💖 | 20:47 | kick them out pls
baNANA 🍓 | 20:47 | wtf???
baNANA 🍓 | 20:48 | that hurt
baNANA 🍓 | 20:48 | I didn’t have to kick them out
baNANA 🍓 | 20:49 | they ran out a few seconds after you
my love 💖 | 20:49 | good
baNANA 🍓 | 20:49 | what the hell is going on???
baNANA 🍓 | 20:50 | I am confused
my love 💖 | 20:50 | Haechan ‘told’ me about the bet
my love 💖 | 20:50 | he wanted to double cross you
baNANA 🍓 | 20:51 | what???
my love 💖 | 20:51 | so the plan is
my love 💖 | 20:51 | they know you don’t stand a chance
my love 💖 | 20:51 | so you double the stakes
my love 💖 | 20:52 | and then bam! we win double the money
baNANA 🍓 | 20:52 | wow
baNANA 🍓 | 20:52 | you’re a genius
my love 💖 | 20:53 | I know
my love 💖 | 20:53 | and since I’m acting like I’m not talking to you
my love 💖 | 20:53 | bye
my love 💖 | 20:54 | see you @ the party!
***
Everything went according to my plan. The guys thought I was pissed with Jaemin, while Jaemin still tried to convince them he stands a chance to court me. It was kind of ironic, they wanted to play me, but it was them getting played.
Together with Jiwoo and Ten, we came extra early to Jaehyun’s party. Still being stuck in friendzone, Jiwoo went out of her way to help him out. Today it meant setting up all types of decorations all over the fraternity house and preparing different kinds of snacks.
Around seven, an Uber pulled up in front of our building. Not to brag, but despite the limited amount of time, we managed to dress up to the nines.
I decided to keep it simple. My outfit consisted of a pair of skinny high-waisted black jeans, a long-sleeved sequin embellished crop top, and a pair of ankle-high boots.
Jiwoo, on the other hand, was wearing a two-piece baby pink dress and a pair of massive mid-thigh black leather platform combat boots. She looked fierce, like a weird baby of 90’s Britney Spears and Marilyn Mason.
Though Ten’s outfit looked the most effortless, it took him longer than us to put it together. Having thrown every single thing from his closet on the bed, Ten experienced a mild crisis. Even though he looked gorgeous in everything, he didn’t seem to believe us. Only after the off-hand intervention, he agreed to play it cool with a pair of ripped jeans, a black shirt with three top buttons left untouched, and an oversized leather jacket.
Once we arrived at Jaehyun’s fraternity, nothing was ready. Thankfully, it wasn’t my problem. Jiwoo was the one who volunteered to help out. Ten and I were about to vibe in the corner, letting other people arrange the place according to Jaehyun’s vision.
Trying our best not to disturb others, Ten and I watched the way the smelly fraternity sex mansion turned into a festive valentine’s manor.
“I hope she’s gonna get laid today,” I whispered into Ten’s ear, looking at Jiwoo working like a busy bee around the house.
“She better; that’s really painful to look at,” Ten agreed, looking a little bit disappointed. Jiwoo was at Jaehyun’s beck and call, and it was about time he acknowledged her feelings.
Around nine o’clock, it was getting a little bit crowded.
Music was blasting through the speakers. Some of the fratboys were already looking for their next conquest. Girls were dancing on a makeshift dance floor in the middle of the living area, suggestively swaying their hips, teasing whoever was watching with their sexy moves.
Later on, when I was in the middle of my fourth drink of the night, Jaemin finally showed up. Together with Haechan, Jeno, Renjun, and Chenle, they walked through the threshold. They all looked great, but Jaemin stood out in the crowd. After all, he was the only one to put on a suit jacket over his white T-shirt. While the rest rocked the comfortable outfits, Jaemin opted for a more elegant look.
Almost as if he wanted to impress someone. Or at least, apologize properly, trying every sly trick to make me forgive him.
Upon entrance, his eyes searched me in the crowd, and when he met my gaze, a smile stretched across his face. Shyly, he raised his hand, wanting to wave at me, but since I stubbornly turned my head around, playing my role of offended woman, he lowered it.
“I’ve seen an ATM on our way here,” Renjun commented, knowing Jaemin didn’t stand a chance of winning the bet.
“It won’t be necessary,” Jaemin replied, following me with his gaze. “I didn’t lose it yet,” he added, and the guys laughed at him. There was no way he still thought he could woo me. “I still have a few hours left; I am not going to give up.”
“You’re such a loser,” Jeno interjected as regret washed through him. Although he didn’t actively participate when the bet was placed, he didn’t oppose it. He was an idle bystander, allowing other people to ruin our friendship. It didn’t sit right with him, but it was too late. The damage was already done, and Jaemin was going to embarrass himself even further. “She doesn’t deserve any of this.”
“It’s not like that,” Jaemin started, but he refused to explain how exactly it was like.
“You’re still gonna fail,” Haechan added with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. Back at the coffee shop, he ruined Jaemin’s chance for success. “Hey there, beautiful,” Haechan spoke when his attention was snatched by one of the girls who walked past them.
Once the boys divided to greet other friends, Jaemin strolled to the kitchen. I was there, and he needed to initiate the first step of our plan.
Sincere apology.
“Can we talk?” Jaemin whispered as he reached out to grab my hand, interrupting my conversation with Ten and Yeri. “Let me explain. You don’t have to say anything. I just want you to listen to me,” he asked, and I unwillingly complied, letting him lead me toward an abandoned corner in the living area. No one could hear us talk, but at the same time, everybody could see us.
“What do you want, Jaemin,” I barked, folding my arms across my chest, startling myself with how good I managed to behave like an angry ex-girlfriend. Though it was my last semester, maybe I should change my major to professional acting.
“Wow. You’re too good at this,” Jaemin commented before he proceeded with his part. “Anyway, I made this card for you. I hope it finds you well,” he announced before he pulled an envelope out of the inner pocket of his suit jacket.
Cautiously, I took the valentine’s card out of the envelope. Once I saw the front page, I couldn’t help but laugh. Jaemin must’ve done it himself, or he stole it from Jeno’s four-year-old niece. It was all covered in hearty stickers and glitter.
Jaemin definitely wasn’t a poet. He had never stood next to one, either.
Instead of a heartfelt apology and love confession, there was a short corny message which simultaneously made me cringe and chuckle.
Are you a ba-NANA? Cause I find you a-peeling.
From Your Love
P.S. it’s from me, your Jaemin
“You’ve really outdone yourself,” I spoke, shaking my head, trying my best not to grin. I was supposed to hate him, but it was too difficult. “I am gonna walk away now. Approach me once you raise the stakes.”
Although I didn’t want to party without Jaemin by my side, it was what I had to do. Having sent him a faint smile, I turned around and walked away, giving Jaemin some time to initiate part two of our plan.
Having drunk a few fancy shots Ten had made for me, we hit the dance floor. At first, we just jumped in the rhythm. However, when the DJ played the song we had practiced at the dance studio, everybody stepped to the side, making enough room to let us perform the choreography.
With alcohol coursing in my system, my moves weren’t as precise as usual – they still earned a round of applause.
“Hey, hey, hey, are you having fun?” Drunk as a skunk, Jaehyun shouted through the microphone connected to the DJ’s console. “How about we slow up the tempo?” Jaehyun yelled, and everybody cheered, making a lot of noise. “Tonight’s the love festival, and I, the valentine’s boy, specifically request every find a person to slow dance with.”
Having set the microphone aside, Jaehyun pushed DJ away from the console, putting on his Cigarettes After Sex playlist. The first song which graced our ears was Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You.
“Can I have this dance?” Jaemin appeared out of nowhere by my side, extending his hand for me to take. “Please?” He looked into my eyes, waiting for my response, looking hopeful.
As soon as I nodded, Jaemin grabbed my hand and gently pulled me against his firm body, resting his left hand on my back, holding me still, making sure I’d not run away. With my head resting against his chest, we swayed slowly, getting lost in our little world.
“They think I am a terrible person,” Jaemin whispered into my ear, his breath tickling my skin. “They seriously think I’d try to ruin our friendship with this bet,” he carried on, and I hummed, taking an inhale, getting hit with Jaemin’s musky cologne.
The boys truly underestimated the power of our friendship. Jaemin and I told each other almost everything. It was bold of them to assume I had no idea about the bet.
“Don’t worry about it,” I replied as I had closed my eyes, getting lost in the moment. “Everything will come back to normal soon enough,” I added, trying to ignore the bittersweet taste of my statement. Our fake relationship had an expiration date, and it was near.
“You’re right. Everything will come back to normal,” Jaemin repeated my words as he rested his chin on top of my head, pulling me even closer. “You’re the best fake girlfriend I’ve ever had,” he added, pressing an innocent peck against my hairline.
“How many fake girlfriends have you had?” I asked, chuckling, sounding a bit jealous.
“Anyway,” Jaemin started, trying to change the subject. “The guys took the bait. And now, judging by the stupid looks on their faces, they’re shitting their pants.”
“Once the song is over, we should initiate the third phase of our plan,” I commented, wanting to be over with this. In about a minute, I was about to pull Jaemin out of the dance floor and lead him to the bathroom upstairs, where we would do the deed.
When another song from Jaehyun’s playlist echoed in the room, all the other couples kept dancing. Jaemin and I, on the other hand, were about to not so discreetly sneak upstairs.
Unfortunately, we met an obstacle on our path.
It was Jaehyun, pointing his phone at our faces.
“It’s a kiss cam. Do what you gotta do,” he spoke, and I creased my forehead in utter confusion. What the hell was he doing? What the hell was a kiss cam? It was a frat party, not a baseball match. Didn’t he have a beer pong championship to win or something?
“What?”
“Do I really have to explain this to everyone? Jesus,” Jaehyun complained, taking a deep sigh, trying to ease his irritation. “It’s Valentine’s day! I am Valentine’s boy! And this is a kiss cam. You kiss, and I take pictures,” he explained, but I wasn’t convinced. “Hurry up! I have to take like 50 more of them.”
At first, I didn’t want to do it. But then, a thought crossed my mind. Who would believe Jaemin and I had sex if I refused to give him a kiss. It was just one kiss; it wouldn’t hurt.
Having licked my lips, I smiled at Jaemin before I wrapped my hands around his neck, giving him a chaste smooch. It lasted maybe a few seconds, but it still made me uneasy. Even if it was just a brief peck, it was too much for my poor heart.
“What the fuck was that?” Jaehyun groaned in disappointment. “One more time, guys. That’s how you kiss your mother, not your girlfriend. You can do better.”
“Show him how it’s done, Jaemin,” I encouraged him, giving him permission to assault my lips, hoping it would happen to be one hell of a performance.
Having smirked, Jaemin leaned forward, pressing his lips gently against mine. Cautiously, he deepened the kiss, knocking the air out of my lungs, making my legs shake under my weight. His hands held my chin in place as his tongue slipped through my lips.
Out of a sudden, nothing else mattered. Jaemin and I were in our bubble, and despite it being a one-time thing, I wished it lasted forever. Whatever expectations I had about this moment, it wasn’t even close to reality.
Jaehyun cleared his throat, wanting to pull us out of our trance. In vain, though. I moved my lips against Jaemin’s in slow sync, letting the sweet sensation strip me of the last remains of dignity. I was to savor every second of it, basking in bliss.
“Ekhem,” Jaehyun grunted, starting to feel a little bit flustered. “You guys done?”
Once we broke apart to take a breath, Jaehyun spoke again.
“Have you seen Jiwoo, by the way?”
“Yeah, I think she went for a smoke with Lucas,” I answered casually, watching panic display on Jaehyun’s face. It was evident he didn’t fancy the newfound information. “She went outside like half an hour ago, though. I wonder what it takes them so long,” I added, planting another grain of doubt in his subconscious.
As soon as anxiety downed on him, Jaehyun bolted outside. He better, though. If Jaehyun wasn’t going to make a move on Jiwoo tonight, I was about to find another guy to ship her with.
“You did it again,” Jaemin pointed out, and I just shrugged, dismissing his comment. So what? One push in the right direction wasn’t enough for Jaehyun to grow up, so I decided to be generous enough to give him a second chance.
“Are you ready for phase three?” I asked Jaemin, but before he managed to reply, I grabbed his hand, pulling him across the dance floor. Giggling, I ran through the sea of people, not so accidentally bumping into Chenle, almost spilling his beer.
“Oh my god, I am so sorry,” I hollered, giggling. Now, when I had Chenle’s attention, we could sneak upstairs to proceed with the final step of our plan. “Come on, Jaemin, let’s go. I am horny,” I added, probably overdoing my part. Unfortunately, the words were already spoken. I couldn’t take them back.
Having locked the bathroom doors behind us, I jumped onto the countertop. “Don’t you think it’s a bit creepy they’re gonna eavesdrop on us bang? It’s kinda off-putting, you know…”
When Jaemin wanted to speak, somebody knocked on the doors. It must’ve been one of Jaemin’s friends, checking if we were indeed fucking. “It’s occupied,” Jaemin hollered, mentioning for me to start my performance.
“Fuck, Jaemin! Eat me out, already,” I yelled, pressing my hands against my mouth, trying to stifle my laugher. This situation was ridiculous, and I couldn’t help myself but giggle. I had only a few drinks, yet I felt like I was high as a kite. “Yes, like that! Ahhh…”
“Can’t wait to fuck that tight hole,” Jaemin played along, almost dying of alcohol-induced tittering. We were definitely having too much fun.
“Right there, Jaemin!” I screamed, holding my stomach as it began aching due to excessive cackling. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, right there,” I moaned loudly, kicking my head back. “Don’t tease me, please!”
“I gotta get you ready for my cock, love,” Jaemin growled, and I gasped, my mind conjuring the forbidden image®.
“Just fuck me! I need your cock inside of me now!” I groaned, hoping whoever was on the other side of the doors heard enough of what was going inside. “Mmmm… you stretch me out so well…” I purred, almost falling off the counter when another round of uncontrollable laughter tried to erupt from my throat.
“Fuck, you’re still so tight.”
“Jaemin! Fuck, I am close. Keep going,” I yelled, mentally preparing for the big finale. This whole act was a vocal performance, and it was time I finished. “I’m coming! Come with me!”
“It was spectacular,” Jaemin whispered so only I could hear him. “I have one more favor, though,” he added, shying away. Oh no, he was about to ask about something stupid.
“What is it?”
“It could’ve been some random dude,” he admitted, scratching the back of his head, unsure how to voice his supplication. “Give me your panties. It’ll be the definite proof.”
“You’re joking,” I deadpanned, staring into his eyes, waiting for him to say it was just a harmless prank. “You’re serious,” I added as soon as I realized Jaemin meant it.
“Come on, I won’t be sniffing them,” Jaemin nagged, and I rolled my eyes. I didn’t even think about it, but now that he mentioned it, I had another reason not to comply with his weird-ass request. “I’ll give them back, I promise.”
“I can’t believe I am considering this,” I cursed under my breath. If any other person would like such a favor from me, I’d deny it in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, I had a soft spot for Jaemin, so denying him didn’t come easy to me.
Hell, I wouldn’t be here if I was able to say no to him.
“You owe me big time,” I caved in, jumping off the countertop, stepping behind the shower curtain, providing myself with some privacy. “Don’t peek. Even if I slip, you gotta stay on the other side. Got it?” I added as I stuck my head through the curtain.
“Scout’s honor,” Jaemin pledged, and I rolled my eyes. He was a scout for maybe a week. His honor didn’t mean shit.
Clumsily, I took off my shoes and jeans. “Here,” I warned before I threw my panties over the curtain. “I am too sober for this,” I nagged, trying to put my skinny jeans back on.
“Let’s do celebratory shots!” Jaemin suggested, balling up my undergarments, hiding them in his pocket. “We deserve it,” he added, landing me a helping hand when I was stepping out of the shower.
“Let’s go.”
***
Needless to say, Jaemin won the bet.
Unfortunately, it meant the inevitable end of our fake relationship. It was fun when it lasted, and though I’d miss these times, it was time to set the record straight.
As we had discussed, we had to arrange our break up.
Sometime next week, Jaemin stopped by to give me half of the prize. Since the boys had been stupid enough to fall for our little charade, I received a large sum of money. It was Chenle who sponsored the prize. Because of that, I didn’t feel particularly sorry about deceiving them. After all, Chenle was so loaded; he wouldn’t notice if he lost that kind of money on the street. I could finally buy these shoes which I had been dreaming of for so long! Better yet, I'd still have some money left to spoil myself some more.
“How should we do it?” Jaemin asked quietly. Ever since he came, he avoided my gaze, staring at the floor.
“I don’t know,” I unwillingly answered. This conversation was the last thing I wanted to do right now, but it had to be done. Better sooner or later, before I’d catch some real feelings for Jaemin. I had no idea how I would pick up the pieces of my broken heart if we kept this act any longer. “Let’s just delete all posts we published. Someone will figure out something’s wrong, and when they spread the word, we’ll explain we decided to remain friends.”
Maybe I wasn’t in tears, but I felt regret wash through me. Though our relationship had never been a real thing, it felt like it.
And it hurt.
“Alright then,” Jaemin complied, rubbing his hands against his thighs before he pulled out his phone to erase any digital footprint of our brief romance. His thumb hovered over the delete button for a while. After a few moments of hesitation, when he didn’t hear any sign of protest from my side, he pressed it, sending our memories to a bottomless void. “And it’s gone.”
“Are we cool?” I asked, hoping that nothing would change between us. I had a hunch it would take me some time to get used to how things had been before the relationship fiasco. Nonetheless, I still had hope we could remain best friends without any awkwardness.
“Of course,” Jaemin answered with a faint smile, but I didn’t fully believe him. Something was off, and it bothered us. Shame that none of us dared to begin this topic.
After he left that day, we saw each other very seldom. We barely even spoke to one another. If it wasn’t for the group chats we were both in, we wouldn’t talk at all.
Jaemin had said we were cool, but it was evident we weren’t.
It was eating me from the inside out, but whenever somebody asked me about the break-up, I’d always shrug it off, confirming everything’s great. I would tell our friends nothing changed between us. There was nothing wrong; our schedules are just incompatible these days.
When I had pretended I was in a relationship with Jaemin, it was easy. It came naturally, and everyone ate it up without any second thoughts. Unfortunately, now, when I was trying to play it cool, no one seemed to buy it. Thankfully, they didn’t confront me about it. Instead, they offered me their support if I ever needed anything.
In my head, I had a few wild scenarios in which I tell Jaemin we should date for real. However, at the same time, a little devil on my shoulder was telling me it should never leave the realm of fantasy. It’s ridiculous to think Jaemin would reciprocate my feelings.
I felt as if sadness took over my body. Though I was smiling on the outside, I was filled with regret. Barely anything sparked joy these gloomy days. Even this pair of shoes, which I wanted so badly, didn’t stir any positive emotion. I bought them, but I never took them out of the box.
Jiwoo had taken me out on a few girls’ nights to make me feel better. Men are trash – she would always say when Jaehyun ignored her yet another text. Even though they had fucked each other at Jaehyun’s birthday party and agreed to become exclusive, Jaehyun still had lots of problems committing to a monogamous relationship. They hadn’t officially labeled it, but everyone knew Jaehyun was slowly caving in.
Fratboys’ habits die hard, but Jaehyun was finally shaping himself into boyfriend material. He no longer slept around, as far to my knowledge at least, but he still lacked in some departments. For instance, it would take him way too much to text back.
“You were so adorable together,” Jiwoo began after she gulped down another rum and coke. Despite her high alcohol tolerance, she was already drunk, speaking with no filter. “I mean… you were simping for him for so long, and you finally managed to jump that dick.”
“Your point being…” I inquired, finishing my drink. Though Jaemin and I had never had sex, I didn’t want to admit that. What would Jiwoo thought if I told her it was all-pretend?
“I shipped you guys so hard,” Jiwoo confessed. “Ten shipped you too, but he will never admit that,” she added, and I giggled. Now, that was an interesting take. Ten was so random at many aspects of life; it came to me as a surprise he even had an opinion on my relationship with Jaemin. “Can I just take some duck tape and put my ship back together?”
“I am not sure Jaemin would like that,” I answered with a sigh, my mood instantly decreasing.
“Nonsense,” Jiwoo replied in a heartbeat. “This guy is even worse than you,” she revealed, and I rolled my eyes, not buying this. At least a few times a week, at my lowest moments, I happened to check Jaemin’s social media updates. He didn’t seem to mope around at all.
“I find it hard to believe,” I muttered, trying not to get too emotional.
“I mean it,” Jiwoo confirmed her previous statement, eager to explain her thesis. “Jaehyun and I went on a little date to the coffee shop where Jaemin works,” she started, and I nodded, not really sure what she was getting at. Nonetheless, I let her continue. I was curious what Jaemin had been up to. And since he didn’t seem to want to tell me anything himself, I’d accept any type of second-hand information from Jiwoo. “Jaemin misses you. You have no idea how many times I caught him daydreaming. He still has your photo set on his lock screen, and he stares at it a lot.”
Now, that’s interesting.
I had no recollection of Jaemin ever setting my photo as his background picture. Even if Jiwoo was right, it meant he set after we had broken up. It made no sense at all, and I was too drunk to try to comprehend the meaning of this.
Instead, I ordered another round, trying to stifle all the brooding emotions within me.
***
February was the month of parties. Too many birthdays fell during this hectic period, and I had trouble keeping up with them. Fortunately, Ten’s party was the last one of the month. After a small get together at our place, I’d have some time off to relax by myself, most preferably, without alcohol.
Being the semi-hosts with Jiwoo, it was our duty to help Ten organize everything regarding his party. Though our trio was a little bit disorganized, somehow, we managed to get everything ready before anyone arrived.
Maybe it wasn’t comparable to birthday parties at fraternity houses; it still had its charm. It wasn’t as wild, but guests still were having a great time in the company of their closest friends. However, what was the most important, Ten had a blast.
It was his day; he deserved everything he wanted.
Trying my best not to embarrass Ten, I decided to socialize with his friends.
It was time I move on. It took me way too long to mourn a relationship that wasn’t even real. I couldn’t let my brooding mood ruin the party.
“Hmm… Ten has never mentioned you before,” I confessed, not finding it particularly odd. Ten didn’t have secretive nature; he just wasn’t the type of person to over-share. And he often forgot to even mention stuff about his personal life.
“I can’t say I am surprised,” Hendery replied, making me giggle. It was fun chatting with him. Hendery was hilarious, and he knew many secrets regarding Ten. It was my mission to get as much information from him as it was possible. I would need it for blackmailing purposes, of course.
Hiding out in the kitchen, we sipped beer and exchanged rumors as if we were two gossip girls. It was too entertaining to stop. I was incredibly immersed in the conversation; I didn’t even realize when someone tapped my shoulder.
“Can we talk?” I heard the question, recognizing the voice in an instant. It belonged to Jaemin, and it seemed to be laced with both jealousy and irritation. The way he phased his plea gave me flashbacks of the conversation we had at Jaehyun’s party.
I really wanted to continue my discussion with Hendery, but I couldn’t say no to Jaemin. It wasn’t how my brain was programmed. Besides, I missed him a lot.
“Excuse me, I’ll be right back,” I told Hendery before I grabbed Jaemin’s hand, leading him to my room, locking the doors behind us.
“Nothing was supposed to change,” Jaemin started as he sat at the edge of my bed, leaning forward with his upper body propped on his elbows. His gaze was trained on the floor, too frustrated to look up at me.
“I know,” I whispered as I sat down in my chair on the other side of the room. My first instinct was to kneel in front of Jaemin, kiss his forehead, and assure him that everything’s going to be alright.
Unfortunately, it didn’t seem like a good idea, so I refrained from doing so. “I am sorry, it’s my fault.”
“Don’t,” Jaemin interjected before I embarrassed myself even further. “We’re both at fault.”
Despite the loud party noises coming from the other side of the doors, my bedroom was filled with deafening silence. It was awfully uncomfortable, and it was probably a good thing. One of us would get annoyed eventually and cave in, letting out all the bottled up emotions.
“I missed you,” I admitted, staring at my hands. I was all fidgety, and although I was too embarrassed to reveal my inner feelings, Jaemin deserved to know this much.
“I missed you, too,” he genuinely confessed, showing me a shy smile. “Actually, I missed you more than I thought it was possible to miss a person,” Jaemin carried on, and I held my breath, not ready to hear whatever he had to say. “You have no idea how much I wanted to text you or call you, but ultimately decided not to because I was sure you don’t want me to.”
“Jaemin,” I spoke, not really sure what I should say next. I had too many things I wanted to tell him about. However, now when he was here, I couldn’t properly voice my thoughts.
“Are you dating this guy you were talking to in the kitchen?” Jaemin asked out of the blue, catching me off guard with this random accusation. “Or do you want to date him? You two looked like you’re having a great time together,” he added, and I rolled my eyes. At first, Jaemin acted on his jealously, but then, insecurity crept in.
“I don’t know. I met Hendery today, but he seems like a great guy,” I answered honestly, thinking of possibilities of me trying to pursing something of romantic nature with Hendery. After our brief encounter, I could tell he’s fun to be around. And honestly speaking, I might’ve considered dating him if I hadn’t already had feelings for someone else.
Unfortunately, right now, I wasn’t in the right state of mind to date. Not when I was still hung up on my best friend.
“I probably won’t, though. I like somebody else,” I confessed, gaining Jaemin’s interest. Instantly, he sat up, staring into my eyes, patiently waiting for the reveal. “I am stupid, but I like this one guy. He’s such a jerk, I can’t even… he’s been ghosting me for weeks now,” I carried on, hoping Jaemin would get the hint.
Two weeks ago, we promised each other nothing would change. Despite our good intentions, it did. Even though I hadn’t told Jaemin how I really felt, I still lost my best friend.
My silence didn’t save this friendship. I tried to bottle up my emotions to secure our unbreakable bond. It didn’t work, so I figured confessing my feelings wouldn’t do any more harm. Surely, Jaemin was going to reject me, but at least, I’d clear the air between us.
Hopefully, my confession, followed by a harsh rejection, would help me move on.
Instantly, Jaemin ran up to my chair and knelt in front of me, trying to look into my eyes. “Please tell me this jerk is me,” Jaemin urgently spoke, unable to handle any more suspense. Jaemin’s gaze was hopeful, and it was too much for me to comprehend.
“What?” I asked, still being overwhelmed by confusion. What was going on? Why was Jaemin on his knees in front of me? Nothing made sense. How was I supposed to wrap my head around it? “I mean… yeah, it’s you. Who else could it be?”
“You have no idea how sorry I am,” Jaemin confessed as he grabbed my hand and yanked me against his chest, wrapping his arms around me, giving me a tight hug. “You could’ve said something… anything,” he added as he pulled back his head, placing a chase kiss against my forehead.
“I didn’t want to scare you away,” I admitted quietly, unable to break free from Jaemin’s cone-crashing embrace. I couldn’t believe he was so close. Na Jaemin was holding me in his arms, letting me listen to his rapid heartbeat.
“The worst two weeks of my life,” Jaemin spoke, once again breaking the silence. “It felt at least like two centuries,” he added, making me chuckle. Of course, it was an exaggeration, but it’s how I felt, too.
“How about we start over?” I proposed, taking a step backward to have a proper look at him. “Will you go on a date with me? This time around for real, no pretending,” I carried on, trying not to grin like an idiot.
“No.”
“What?”
What the fuck was that?
Did I misunderstand Jaemin’s words? I thought he felt the same, but apparently, he didn’t? Everything suggested he followed my flow only to crush my expectations, later on, leaving a big ass scar and more trust issues.
“I mean yes, but I should be me asking you out. Definitely not the other way around,” Jaemin clarified, making me relax. Thankfully, my mini panic attack was uncalled for. It was just my brain over-analyzing everything, conjuring the worst possible scenario.
“Then you better do your best to woo me,” I teased, wondering if he was willing enough to take the bait. It was just a mere joke, reminding me how it all began. He had wooed me once, and I wasn’t going to oppose to a second attempt. “Fun dates, romantic messages, silly gifts. I want it all,” I added, going a little bit overboard with my request list.
“Everything can be arranged,” Jaemin replied with a lopsided smile before he tightened his grip, almost crashing my bones in the process.
***
Jaemin and I began dating. This time around, it was real; no more pretending, no more stupid bets. Just two people who had discovered friendship could never be enough.
Even though I had told Jaemin I was just joking about this whole wooing thing, he refused to accept it, going to extreme lengths to make my heart flutter. I was already stupidly in love with him, yet he kept trying to make me swoon even more.
Despite our busy schedules, we made sure to see each other every day. It could’ve been a date at the arcade or just a quick coffee or a video call. In all honestly, I gladly accepted any form of contact from Jaemin.
I hated the prospect of going through a day without any message from him.
Except for many mini and maxi dates, Jaemin would also spoil me with plenty of encouraging notes of many kinds. Each massage from Jaemin was even sillier from the previous one. He never ceased to amaze me.
At first, Jaemin would stick post-it notes in different places in my room. Whenever I paid no attention, he would quickly write one for me to find it later. Whenever I saw sleep tight message stuck to my bedpost or you looked extra sexy today attached to the mirror, I smiled like an idiot, imaging Jaemin writing it.
If Jaemin forgot about post-it notes, he would always make it up to me by sending me corny direct messages. We would always text each other before sleep, and Jaemin never failed to make me smile with words such as:
If you happen to have wet dreams of me, you gotta tell me everything that happened. We can recreate it later.
I saw some sexy lingerie on my way home. Your ass would look amazing in it. I’m gonna buy it for you when I get my paycheck.
You’re the reason I wake up in the morning. Just kidding, I have to pee.
Whenever we went out, Jaemin would also scribble something either on a napkin or on a receipt. One time, Jaemin even gave a crumbled piece of paper that he was carrying in his pocket for some reason.
You know I’d give you my kidney, right? And a piece of the liver if you ask nicely. I hope you would do the same for me.
When we have kids, I’ll let you name the first one. Don’t fuck it up.
You’re my favorite pain in the ass.
You are stuck with me. You better get used to it.
Messy notes weren’t sufficient for Jaemin. Although I was more than content with the attention and affection he was giving me, it wasn’t enough for Jaemin. With each massage, he had to out-do himself.
Jaemin even wrote me a song! Or at least, he tried to write me a song. It was really bold of him to assume I didn’t know the lyrics to Jonas Brothers’ Sucker. I loved this song, and even though I perfectly knew it wasn’t Jaemin’s piece of work, I still appreciated the gesture.
Later on, his love letters reached another level of ridiculousness. Jaemin sent me a love e-mail, and if that doesn’t prove how extra he can get, I don’t know what can.
Jaemin didn’t stop there. No, it was just a warm-up.
When I was checking the mailbox, I found a paper plane stuck in between bills. Jaemin must’ve put it there, probably after one of his frequent visits to my apartment. Though the paper plane was a little bit crumbled, I found it incredibly adorable. On its wing, it had “open me” written with Jaemin’s messy handwriting. Inside there was a corny message that turned my insides in absolute cringe.
Your wings already exist. All you have to do is fly.
A few days later, Jaemin gave me a CD with the love playlist he had made for me. Carefully, he had chosen our favorite songs and burned them on a disc. I had no means to actually play it, but I adored the gesture.
Jaemin’s creativity did not disappoint. At this point, he might send me a love letter via a fax machine, and I wouldn’t be surprised. There were no limitations to his imagination, and it was one of the many things I loved about him.
Neither of us dropped the L-bomb yet, but we really didn’t need to. Though that dreaded word has yet to be spoken, we perfectly knew how we felt about each other. We would do anything for one another; no doubt in that.
Having exceeded my expectations, Jaemin proved himself worthy of being my boyfriend. Or rather, he showed me he was way out of my league. When he was bending over backward, I was passively basking in the glory of Jaemin’s confessions. Relationships were about giving and taking, and it seemed our balance was off.
It was time we switched roles. It was only fair if I tried to creep my way into his heart the way he had been wooing mine.
As soon as I cleaned up the apartment and pampered myself a little bit, I pulled out my phone, quickly texting Jaemin. Hopefully, he wasn’t that busy.
my love 💖 | 18:12 | U want to come over?
baNANA 🍓 | 18:16 | 😏
baNANA 🍓 | 18:16 | You miss me???
my love 💖 | 18:17 | 🤡 🤡 🤡 🤡 🤡
my love 💖 | 18:17 | nvm forget I asked
baNANA 🍓 | 18:17 | 😧 😧 😧
baNANA 🍓 | 18:18 | I’ll be in an hour
baNANA 🍓 | 18:18 | want me to bring anything?
my love 💖 | 18:19 | nah, just get your cute butt over here
baNANA 🍓 | 18:19 | ?????
baNANA 🍓 | 18:19 | are you high??
baNANA 🍓 | 18:19 | should I be concerned?
Okay, I had an hour to prepare something for our impromptu date. It was fine; it was more than enough than I needed. The apartment was already clean, so I just had to whip something to eat and cool the bubbles.
For some reason, I felt in a celebratory mood. Whatever tempo Jaemin and I had, it worked in two week periods. We had fake-dated for fourteen days before we called it quits. Then, we didn’t talk to each other for two weeks. Tonight another period came by, and I wanted to celebrate it, hoping to break the unfortunate chain of bad luck.
The alcohol was already in the refrigerator. Having put on an apron, I opened all the cabinets around the kitchen, quickly analyzing the ingredients and what I can make out of them. It wasn’t much, but pasta would have to be enough.
It wasn’t a fancy dish, but I was made it with love, so Jaemin shouldn’t have any complaints. Pouring my emotions into the pasta was to make it extra flavorful.
When the sauce was slowly cooking on the stove, I decorated the table. I wanted to provide Jaemin with some high-end restaurant experience despite being in my cramped apartment. It was the best thing out of two words; we had all privacy in the world offered by a homely atmosphere, but at the same time, we would eat some beautifully garnished food.
Just when I was about to drain the pasta, someone knocked on the doors.
“Coming,” I hollered before I put the pot in the sink, wiping my hands on the apron before making my way to answer the doors. “Hey there, beautiful,” I greeted Jaemin with a playful remark, standing on my toes to press a brief smooch on his adorable lips. It took him off guard, but in some sense, he liked it.
“Hey, it’s my line,” Jaemin nagged when his hands found purchase on my hips, bringing me closer for another kiss since one was never enough. “What do you have there? It smells delicious,” Jaemin turned his head, trying to peek inside to see what surprise I had prepared for him.
“You know, just some carbs,” I answered vaguely, sending him a playful smirk, not wanting to ruin the surprise. I wanted him to sit down at the table and wait for me to bring the whole dish and pour us some cheap champagne.
Jaemin took off his shoes, kicking them to the side. A second later, he handed me his coat, and I put it on the hanger. Jaemin was wearing a pair of gray jeans and a mint oversized hoodie, and I drooled over this comfortable look. He didn’t have to try hard to impress me.
“Just wait here. I’ll be back in a sec,” I spoke when I guided Jaemin to the table, forcing him to sit down in the chair. Jaemin wanted to help me out in the kitchen, but I firmly refused. Tonight I wished to impress Jaemin; he didn’t have to move a finger.
“I know it’s not much, but I hope you’ll still like it,” I whispered when I put a plate in front of him. “Dig in,” I added as I sat on the other side of the table, carefully trying to pop the champagne bottle open. Though I hated doing it, too afraid of breaking something or hurting someone, tonight I wanted to try it.
“What’s the occasion,” Jaemin wondered as he fondly watched me fight with the bottle. “Do you need some help? You’re gonna hurt yourself,” Jaemin offered, genuinely concerned about my safety. However, I just turned around, wanting to finish it by myself.
It took me good five minutes to pop it. And when I finally did it, Jaemin gave me a round of pitiful applause, officially declaring it’s his job from now on.
“It was just painful to watch,” Jaemin playfully commented, and I kicked his shin under the table, showing him how much appreciated his remark was. “So… what’s the occasion?”
“Do I really need to have a reason to spoil my boyfriend?” I innocently asked, batting my eyelashes, and Jaemin smiled at the word boyfriend. We had never discussed labels, but it was self-explanatory we were in a loving relationship. “I figured it’d be nice to give you some more attention,” I absentmindedly added as I reached for my phone to play some soft EDM music through the Bluetooth speaker.
“Is that it?” Jaemin wondered, gazing into my eyes, searching for any ulterior motive I might have. “Are you sure you’re not trying to butter me up before you say something I may not like? What did you do?” Jaemin inquired, and I chuckled loudly.
“Calm down, Na,” I spoke, making Jaemin look up at me once again. I only called him by his surname when I was extra affectionate, so he was curious what I was going to say. “I just wanted to hang out with you. That’s all,” I confessed, but Jaemin scrutinized his eyes, not really buying my innocent talk. “Okay, fine. There’s one more thing.”
“What is it?” Jaemin inquired, grinning at me.
“Can’t you already tell? I am trying to woo my way into your pants, duh,” I confessed, and Jaemin choked on his champagne as he did not expect this wording. “Your heart! I meant to say into your heart,” I corrected when I realized my little Freudian slip. “Wait, no, screw it. I second that. I want to get into both.”
“You’ve already got into one,” Jaemin declared with a lopsided smirk pinned to his face. “But... if you don’t suspect it already, you’re welcome in both,” he added mischievously, taking a sip of his alcohol. I, on the other hand, looked away, feeling the heat in my cheeks.
“Good to know.”
“Where are Jiwoo and Ten by the way?” Jaemin wondered as he looked around the apartment, finding it suspicious they didn’t crash our date yet. Under typical circumstances, Jiwoo or Ten would haul another chair to the table and steal the food, third-wheeling our date.
“Ten is at the dance studio. He’s having a dance competition next week, so he goes there every time he has some free time to practice. And Jiwoo is with Jaehyun. He came here to pick her up a few hours ago. I don’t think either of them is coming home anytime soon,” I explained, smirking. We had the place to ourselves.
Finally, we could bask in each other’s company without any intrusive guests.
“I’d like to cheers to that,” Jaemin raised his glass, clinking it gently against mine.
Having eaten the food, we moved to the couch.
“What now?” Jaemin asked as he stretched his arm, resting it on the back of the couch right over my shoulders.
“I have one more surprise,” I announced before I jumped to my feet. “Wait a second,” I added before bolting to my bedroom.
“What is it?” Jaemin inquired, having no clue what else I could surprise him with. “What do you have there?” He pressed, tilting his head to the side, trying to see what I was hiding behind my back.
“Let’s take some pictures,” I announced in excitement, showing him my Polaroid camera. “I finally bought some film, and I really want our photo in my wallet,” I added as I plopped down onto the couch, resting my head against Jaemin’s chest. “You take it,” I ordered, handing him the camera. After all, he was the prodigy of photography. Besides, his hands were longer than mine.
“I think that’s more than enough,” Jaemin spoke after snapping the twelfth picture.
Having put the camera on the coffee table, he wrapped his arms around me. Jaemin pulled me on his laps, embracing me tightly, placing a round of pecks against my temple.
“Wait! One more thing,” I hollered, leaning forward to reach for the envelope which was lying on the coffee table next to our photos.
“You can’t say it’s the last thing and then bring another one. That’s not how it works,” Jaemin nagged, a little flustered that I managed to find another excuse when he wanted to cuddle. “Who are you? A fitness instructor? When you say it’s the last one, it should be the last one. You can’t come up with new ones every three minutes.”
“I promise it’s the last one,” I sat cross-legged on the couch beside him, handing him the envelope. Cautiously, he pulled the card out of it, and I looked at him, studying his expression in excitement.
“Annoyingly, I like you way more than I’d originally planned,” Jaemin read the cover of the card, smiling widely at the passive-aggressive message. “It’s already good, and I didn’t even read what you wrote inside,” he commented before he leaned forward to kiss my forehead. “I don’t get it,” he added in confusion as he saw the blank page inside the card.
“It’s my love letter for you,” I clarified, but Jaemin was still clueless.
“It’s a blank page. You really have that little to say?” Jaemin asked, trying to make sense out of my card.
“That’s not how you were supposed to interpret that!” I yelled, climbing on his laps, wanting to tear the card out of his ungrateful hands. Unfortunately, Jaemin’s hands were longer than mine, so even when I was hovering over his thighs, I couldn’t reach it.
“How was I supposed to interpret that then?” Jaemin challenged, holding my hips, forcing them down on his laps.
“I wanted to write something meaningful, but I just couldn’t decide what. I have so many things I want to tell you, it wouldn’t even fit on the card,” I started, trying to find the best way to form a coherent sentence. “One way to interpret it is that you have to imagine it’s written in a very tiny font. Because I have so much to tell you, I wrote everything down, but you just can’t read it.”
“I like it,” Jaemin whispered, pressing a gentle kiss against my knuckles.
“Or you can say it’s blank because whenever I’m with you, my head is completely empty,” I added, chuckling at the corny confession. “Or you can assume there are no words to describe my feelings for you.”
“How is it possible that without writing anything, you managed to top all of my love letters?” Jaemin wondered, smiling at me. “What kind of sorcery is this?”
“No, Jaemin. You’re not giving yourself enough credit. I loved your love letters. They were silly, but at the same time, I could feel you really meant everything,” I reasoned, looking down at Jaemin’s lips, slowly leaning in for a delicate kiss.
“Okay, I have an idea,” Jaemin suddenly spoke as he grabbed my butt and threw me off his laps. “I need a pen,” he added, looking around the living room, finding the pen on the coffee table. In a hurry, he scribbled down something on the blank page of the card, making sure I couldn’t peek. “Here, I found my way to interpret it.”
“Oh?”
“Yes,” Jaemin answered confidently, handing me the card. “Read it out loud for me.”
“Okay, I guess,” I cleared my throat before I opened the card. “My beloved Jaemin,” I read, looking at Jaemin’s face with a raised eyebrow. This was going to be good.
“Carry on,” he urged, and I shook my head, unable to believe I was going to do it.
“You’re the most handsome man I have ever seen. You’re also the smartest and the funniest. Not to mention, you’re the best kisser in the world. What the fuck is this?” I interjected, having doubts, knowing it was a bad idea.
“Just keep reading, babe,” Jaemin ordered, wanting me to carry on with his antics. “Though you’re no poet, it’s, by a huge margin, the best love letter I have ever received,” he added, blowing his ego way out of proportion, and I rolled my eyes.
“Now, when I look at you, I understand there’s not a chance I wouldn’t fall for you. So, since there’s not much space left, I just wanna tell you that I love you. I really love you, Jaemin.”
Before I managed to complain that he forced me to say the L-word first, Jaemin interjected.
“Finally, took you long enough,” he teased, and I sighed, wondering where to hit him first. “As if you haven’t figured it out yet, I love you, too.”
“You’re impossible,” I commented, still not quite sure if we just confessed to each other.
“I’m impossible not to fall in love with,” Jaemin corrected, once again hauling me back on his laps, taking my breath away with a fervent kiss. “How about you show me how you want to get into my pants, babe?”
Having had enough of Jaemin’s teasing, I decided not to comply with his request.
“I think you should go.”
“You’re right,” Jaemin agreed too quickly, and it made me alert. “Let’s go to your room because once I start pounding into you, I will not stop even if a group of nuns was about to break in and steal all of your shit,” he added as he picked me up, carrying me to my bedroom.
“You’re impossible,” I repeated my words when Jaemin threw me onto my bed before he landed on it right beside me.
“I think we’ve already discussed this,” he remarked, reminding me of the remark he had given me earlier. “So… where were we?” Jaemin asked as he put his hand on my side, pulling me closer. Soon enough, his palm slipped under the hem of my shirt, caressing my skin.
“Is it weird that the only thing I can think about is you eating me out?” I wondered out loud, stripped of all remains of dignity. Jaemin was in my bed, and I was planning on taking full advantage of it.
“Not at all, love,” Jaemin replied, showing me his eager smile. Quickly, he sat on his calves between my legs, taking his time to take off my jeans. “I thought about eating you out way too often ever since that thing in the bathroom,” Jaemin confessed as he threw my jeans across the room.
Though my panties were still on, Jaemin began his teasing. His soft lips trailed across my thighs, driving me crazy. His lips touched every inch of my skin except for the area I wanted the most. At this point, my panties were dripping wet, yet he didn’t even think of pulling them to the side, giving attention to my much-ignored core.
“You’re killing me,” I whispered, slowly losing patience. If Jaemin kept up with his antics, I’d combust out of sexual frustration. “Bold of you to assume I won’t let you taste your own medicine,” I warned Jaemin. It worked because as soon as I voiced my mischievous threat, Jaemin’s finger hooked under the hem of my panties, quickly pulling them down my legs.
“You’re no fun at all,” Jaemin clarified before his lips finally landed on my clit, making me buckle my hips in an instant. Slowly, his mouth moved against my sweet spot, and I arched my back with each swirl of his tongue.
Though he barely started, I could feel the electricity coursing through my body. In my state of permanent frustration, it wouldn’t be difficult for Jaemin to make me come against his mouth.
Getting into it, Jaemin squeezed my hips, trying to keep me still when he ate me out. His jaw was dripping in my juices as he made his way down to lick my folds.
“Fuck,” I moaned loudly when Jaemin’s nose rubbed my clit when he was running his tongue all over my entrance. “I think I am gonna come,” I admitted what made Jaemin smirk through the kiss. Jaemin barely touched me, but I was already close.
“Come for me,” Jaemin urged, releasing my hips from his firm grip. Now when I could buckle my hips against his face, my orgasm was just seconds away. With my hand in his hair, I rocked my hips, basking in pleasure.
“I need your fingers,” I begged, and Jaemin quickly obeyed my shameful plea. I expected him to tease me further, denying me his long fingers, but he was kind enough to do anything to make me come.
Thanks to my juices and Jaemin’s saliva, his two fingers slid right in.
“Fuck,” I shouted at the top of my voice when the wave of pleasure shot right through me. Jaemin’s jaw still played with my clit as he continued his actions throughout the orgasm.
“You blew my mind, Jaemin,” I muttered after I regained my focus after he had made me come on his face. “I came so hard,” I confessed, smiling like an idiot. It was way too long ever since someone made me feel this good.
“You better get used to it because I am planning this to be a frequent occurrence,” Jaemin whispered, looking at my face as if it was an art piece. “Do you have condoms?” he casually asked as he pulled down his jeans. His erected cock was restrained in the denim fabric, and Jaemin needed to get rid of it.
“As a matter of fact, I do,” I replied as I opened the bedside table and threw a brand new package of condoms at Jaemin’s chest. “Jiwoo got me those after she walked on our pillow fight the other day. Apparently, she doesn’t want any cum stains on the couch.”
For a while, we were lying on the bed, staring at each other. Jaemin gave me some time to recover from my orgasm. According to him, I needed to take breaks because he didn’t want to over-stimulate me too soon.
“I really love you,” Jaemin confessed genuinely, and I quickly rolled closer to him, giving him another chase smooch. His confession was music to my ears, and I could listen to it on repeat without getting tired of it.
“I love you, too,” I quickly replied, leaning in for another kiss. With his hand on my cheek, he deepened the kiss, giving us another chance to get lost in the love trance.
Having thrown my leg over his hipbone, I hovered over his erection.
“Let me take care of you,” I said as I pulled away from the kiss. With a playful smirk upon my face, I grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head. Slowly after, my bra followed suit, and Jaemin grunted upon seeing me completely naked in front of him.
“Sexy,” he purred before he eagerly took off his hoodie, throwing it onto the floor. “On a second thought, maybe you should put something on. You’re too sexy, and I’d like to last longer,” Jaemin explained, handing me his hoodie so I could cover myself up. “No, it’s even worse. Take it off,” he changed his mind after seeing me in his clothes.
Carefully, I pulled Jaemin’s boxers down his legs, letting his rock hard cock spring free. Biting on my lips, I grabbed his erection, giving it a few gentle strokes.
“Fuck it, I am ready,” Jaemin yelled, placing his hand over mine, making me stop. “You have all the time in the world to blow me. Right now, I want to feel you,” he added, quickly pulling out a condom from its packaging.
“Let me at least roll it down for you,” I offered, and Jaemin sighed, weighing his options.
“Nah, I am not willing to take that risk,” Jaemin answered, proceeding to wrap his cock by himself. “Now, come here, sit down on it,” he urged, and I shook my head. Smiling like an idiot, I guided his cock towards my entrance, slowly sinking down on his length.
“You’re good?” I asked, trying to guess what was going on inside his brain. Judging by his sour expression, he must’ve been thinking about something terrible in order to stop himself from coming too soon.
“Yes, everything’s cool,” he reassured, and I took it as permission to gently rock my hips back and forth. Whenever I moved, Jaemin kept grunting quietly. Apparently, he also suffered from sexual frustration.
My hands were wandering all over his muscular chest, admiring his athletic built. My hips were moving at a steady rhythm, but whenever I happened to increase the tempo, Jaemin would slow me down with a firm grip on my hips.
“If you keep doing that, I might spank you,” Jaemin warned me, but it only made me want to disobey more. “Why did I even expect you to be a good girl?” Jaemin asked, rolling his eyes.
“Spank me,” I ordered, trying my best not to chuckle. “I dare you,” I added, pushing the right buttons. “Like that,” I moaned when Jaemin’s hand collided against my butt, shaking me with newfound excitement.
“You’re impossible,” Jaemin comment, still in shock after discovering how much into spanking I happened to be.
“I’m impossible not to fall in love with,” I remarked, using Jaemin’s own words against him.
Unable to handle my teasing, Jaemin sat up. “I love you so much,” Jaemin stated once again before he looked at my lips, kissing them. Now, when I was distracted by his tongue, it was easier for him to control my movement.
In our upgraded position, I significantly slowed down. Carefully, I moved up and down Jaemin’s cock, while he sneaked his hand between our entangled bodies, rubbing my clit. I was close, and I was about to come again.
I didn’t know what he was so self-conscious about. No doubt I would come first.
“Jaemin, I am coming,” I breathed out, messing up my rhythm. It was difficult to maintain the same tempo when Jaemin was playing with my clit. Jaemin’s lips moved down my neck, finding a perfect spot on my collarbone to leave a hickey.
“Me, too,” Jaemin whispered as he began thrusting from underneath me, now desperate to push the both of us off the edge. “You’re so tight, fuck,” he cursed as my walls started to swell around his throbbing cock.
Jaemin moaned against my skin, muffling his sinful sounds. I, on the other hand, screamed Jaemin’s name at the top of my voice, telling everybody in the world he was the person, making me feel this good.
Having fallen onto the sheets, we looked into each other’s eyes. We were panting as if we just ran a marathon. Not that I had any doubts, but Jaemin turned out to be a passionate lover, and it made me love him even more.
“You’re beautiful,” Jaemin complimented me, staring at my face in utter admiration. “I am so lucky,” he added, and I moved closer, snuggling up to him. It was still early, but I was so fucked out, I could fall asleep right there in his arms.
Having pulled me closer to his chest, Jaemin threw a duvet over our sweaty bodies. His fingers were tracing shapes on my shoulder when he pressed yet another peck against my temple.
“Are you down for another round?” Jaemin asked as he discarded the full condom. His cock was still semi-hard. In a few minutes, Jaemin would be ready for some more. “It’s cool if you’re not,” he added, trying not to put any pressure on me.
“I want you to do me all night,” I confessed, looking over my shoulder at the clock. It’s only 8 pm, and I could stay up till daylight with Jaemin.
“Do you want to go bowling tomorrow?” Jaemin asked, and I eagerly nodded. It was fun the last time I had joined the boys on their monthly trip to the bowling alley. Besides, I would be the first woman to break the unfortunate one-time-only curse. I couldn’t wait to show up two months in a row.
“I’d love that,” I answered, snuggling closer to Jaemin’s side.
In content, we basked in happiness until Jaemin regained enough energy to go for the third time. However, this time around, it was slow and steamy. Under the covers, Jaemin crawled on top of me, kissing every inch of my body.
“Do you want to roll it down on me? I think I can handle that,” Jaemin asked, and I reached for the condom, carefully rolling it down his length. “I wish I could fuck you without one, though,” he added, and I flicked his forehead, making him whine. “I’ll pull out.”
“I trust you, but it’s still a no from me,” I replied, guiding his cock into my entrance. Inch by inch, Jaemin pushed himself all the way in. “You fill me up so well,” I praised, purring into his ear. “I love your cock.”
Distance between our bodies was practically nonexistent. Jaemin was slowly snapping his hips, rubbing his pelvic bone against my clit, turning me into a moaning mess. I wouldn’t be surprised if my neighbors called the police because of all the noise coming from my bedroom.
“One day, you’ll let me fuck you raw. I’ll make sure you do,” Jaemin carried on, and I hissed, feeling the approaching orgasm. I didn’t even bother to comment on Jaemin’s statement. I was whipped for him. I knew I wasn’t able to maintain my assertive stance for long. Eventually, I’d cave in, letting him fuck me without a condom. It wasn’t today, though.
“In your dreams, lover boy,” I answered, but Jaemin just giggled, knowing I wasn’t serious.
“You have no idea how many times we’ve done it raw in my dreams,” Jaemin confessed as he picked up his pace, pounding into my pussy, making me moan at the sudden speed. “One day, I’ll tell you all about my fantasies, but right now, I really want this pussy to cream around my cock,” he added, his filthy words making my walls squeeze around his length.
“You wait until I tell you mine,” I challenged with a smirk. If Jaemin thought he was the only one with a dirty mind, he was seriously mistaken. While most of my fantasies were PG-13, there was still a large portion of naughty scenarios. Now, when Jaemin and I were finally together, it would be fun to try to recreate at least some of them.
“You better come because I can’t go much longer,” Jaemin warned me, pounding in and out, chasing his own release. “Fuck,” he yelled, falling on top of me as he shot his load into the condom. His cock twitched inside of me as he moved slowly, riding out his orgasm.
“Jaemin,” I hollered, coming undone underneath him. Despite the other peaks, this orgasm hit me the hardest. For a brief second, my vision turned black as I gave in to the pleasure.
Breathlessly, I lay in the sheets, slowly descending from my high.
“I think all I can do tonight is cuddle,” I commented, feeling too fucked out to engage in any other form of affection. “I don’t think I can walk.”
“It’s okay. I can carry you around the house,” Jaemin answered, finding a solution for my problem. Having pulled his limp cock out of me, Jaemin rolled down another condom, putting it aside.
“What is it?” Jaemin asked as he heard a noise from the living room.
“It sounded as if someone was knocking on the doors,” I spoke, trying to identify the sound. “It must be a courier for Jiwoo. She keeps ordering stuff online. It’s probably the late evening delivery she forgot about. Can you get it?”
“No problem, babe,” Jaemin answered as he put on his jeans, walking around the bed to answer the door.
At first, I wanted to wait for Jaemin in bed. However, it’s been like three minutes, and he didn’t come back, so I found it weird.
Having put on Jaemin’s hoodie and a pair of leggings, I made my way out of the room.
Jaemin was standing by the doors, looking inside a plastic bag. Whatever it was, it smelled like Thai food. Unfortunately, it didn’t explain anything. We were here alone, and we didn’t order anything.
Just when I was about to open my mouth and ask Jaemin what the hell was going on, Ten walked out of his room. It was strange, but I saw him leave, and I didn’t hear him come back.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I asked angrily, trying to hide my embarrassment. If he was here the whole time, he must’ve heard us having sex.
“I live here, duh,” Ten answered matter-of-factly, choosing not to give me the explanation which I desperately needed. “I think it’s mine,” Ten spoke as he walked up to Jaemin to take his Thai takeout.
Although Jaemin and I were standing in the living room in complete consternation, Ten didn’t seem to pay any attention to it. In front of his bedroom, Ten stopped in his tracks, turning his head to face me.
“Congratulations, by the way,” Ten spoke, making me even more embarrassed. “Three times, wow. It’s impressive. Don’t fuck this up, dear. He’s a keeper,” Ten added, sending me a playful wink before he disappeared inside his room.
#jaemin smut#neosmutcollective#neosmutletters#nct smut#nct dream smut#nct u smut#jaemin fluff#nct fluff#nct dream fluff#jaemin#na jaemin#nct fake dating#fake dating au#collage au#love letters au#idiots to lovers#friends to lovers#jaemin angst#nct angst#nct dream angst
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Gojo Satoru general headcanons
Let's get one thing clear: this man is absolutely chaotic. He is always full of energy. His energy levels never reach below 50%. He is loud and proud, always running, and never takes a minute to relax.
Do not give him Monster. Shoko did that once and it took her forever to get him off the ceiling. Also, avoid caffeine. Shoko replaces his normal coffee with decaf and he still hasn't noticed the difference. Keep it that way.
He was the class clown when he was younger. He wasn't exactly a trouble maker, but he may as well be. I cannot word that sentence and I am sorry. Next.
All of his teachers assumed he never listened in class, so they always called in him when they thought he wasn't paying attention. It still shocked them every time he rattled off the correct answer.
Not only did he answer the question correctly, but he could also explain his reasoning behind the answer, and if it was multiple choice, explain why the other answers were wrong.
This tall man child would march up to the board and absolutely fill it to the brim with work, turn around, drop the chalk-like a mic drop and walk back to his desk with the smuggest look on his face.
That doesn't mean he did the work tho
Idk how schools in japan work but we all know schools in America only care about the amount of work you do and not what you actually know so we'll use that for the sake of the headcanon: he had straight D's bc he never turned in his work
Despite not doing the work snd goofing off, teachers actually really liked him
A lot of people liked him and he was super popular, but he still felt alone
Fake friends, you know how that works, he didn't meet any real friends until he became a shaman
Clean freak. This dude actually makes his bed. He scrubs his bathroom twice a week. His desk can get cluttered but he straightens up once a week. He's not exactly a germaphobe because
He cannot respect your personal space and that's actually canon but let me take it a step further
He's a slapper. Especially when he laughs. It doesn't hurt, it's playful dw. He hugs you from behind especially when he's cold. He picks you up and carries you around. He will grab your wrist, arm, or hand and lead you around even if you're following him. He lays his legs across you or lays across your lap. Puts his head on your shoulder. Platonic cuddling between friends is mandatory. He's just so hands-on it's ridiculous.
Unless you explicitly tell him you're uncomfortable he won't stop
Don't worry, if you aren't in that type of relationship, your no-no square is safe. Except, if you seem chill, he will slap your ass regardless of friendship status. His ass is also slappable. You can't tell me Geto and Gojo didn't run around slapping each other asses, okay
He was weird and scrawny as a child. He didn't start beefing out until he started training to be a shaman and he's still kinda smaller than most beefy boys
He can pick you up and throw you around easily. He carried around a 170 pound Yuji like a sack of potatoes and can easily carry around three times that weight
It's amazing he's so tiny because you remember 2014 Shane Dawson making all of those wack ass desserts that was just s pile of chaos wrapped in chocolate?
He can eat every last bite of one of those monstrosities without getting a stomach ache, gaining weight, or dying basically
He knows bc Yuji dared him to do it
He has really cold hands and feet
He sounds old. Let me elaborate. He's constantly cracking his joints. They also creak when he moves. He complains about body pains like he's 80 y/o
He also shares wisdom with the kids as if he's actually 80 y/o
It's irrelevant advice that doesn't make sense but is also useful. Megumi can't count the number of times he's asked Gojo for feedback on his technique but had been told to remember to chew 40 times or never go to bed angry
Starts off sentences with "now son" and "when I was your age"
He uses his blindfold as a headband when he wants his hair out of his face. He also uses headbands as... Headbands... When he wants to wear sunglasses but get his hair out of his face
He owns so many pairs of sunglasses but he always wears the same pair
He's only bought a handful of them himself, most of them are gifts
No one knows what to get him for Christmas or his birthday bc he has everything, so they resort to sunglasses
His favorite pair is a pair that Shoko and Geto bought him as a gag. He thought they were dead serious, though, so he wore them around for a month
They were heart-shaped, rose-tinted glasses
Can you believe this man doesn't use any gel or anything to keep his hair spiky with the blindfold on? It just naturally defies gravity when the blindfold is on
Tell this man he's pretty because he already knows. He's narcissistic but not the cringy kind
Photogenic as hell. Takes great pictures from any angle.
He gives everyone a different story as to why he covers his eyes. Sometimes he says it's because his eyes are too pretty and are a distraction. Sometimes he says it's because the sunglasses/bandages/blindfold look cooler than his eyes. Sometimes he says it's to protect the six eyes from seeing things he doesn't want to see. The world may never know
He's tried covering his whole face before, but he thinks he's too pretty for that. He at least wants one of his many amazing features to be shown at all times.
So about his driver's license;
He knows how to drive. He can be a good driver. When he wants to be. He just doesn't have a driver's license.
Now he TELLS people he just never got around to getting one, however, there's a rumor he lost it due to too many parking tickets
It's amazing the only tickets he's ever gotten have been from that and once he got caught without a seatbelt; he would have gotten out of that one if he hadn't been flirting with the police officer so bad
This doesn't stop Gojo from driving places though
He steals Ijichi's car a LOT and Ijichi DOESN'T KNOW HOW like??? The windows are never broken and it doesn't look hotwired-
Gojo has a key
You're not even supposed to be able to duplicate car keys but Gojo did
Also; none of the first-year trio knows he doesn't have a driver's license, though that much should be painfully obvious
He whips around corners, speeds up at yellow lights, goes "watch this" and does a donut, it's just a mess
The poor students have to sit in the backseat too. Just imagine Megumi with all three seatbelts around him like that one meme.
He thrives off of Nobara and Yuji screaming from the backseat, and he can see Megumi being smooshed because he thought the middle seat was the safest through the rearview mirror
Which he doesn't even need because of the six eyes
Despite being such a reckless driver, he knows when danger will happen, so he's never once gotten in a wreck
He blasts the radio, which makes up for the driving.
Has a habit of getting in a car and ending up in the McDonalds drive-thru
Steals other people's fries and keeps the fullest one for himself.
He was rebellious as a kid and teenager, but hey, at least his juvie record is sealed
He's been detained and in the back of a cop car many times, but the reason was never really bad enough for him to be arrested. Mostly he's just being mouthy. And the time he got caught spray painting on the side of a building. And that one time he and Getou hopped the fence to get into the local pool. And that other time-
It got worse after Getou wasn't around to get him out of trouble. Suddenly, breaking the rules wasn't fun anymore and he mellowed out.
Tried alcohol and cigarettes before he was legal. Decided neither was his thing, however, he did start drinking occasionally when he was legal.
He's a fucking chaotic drunk. Oh my god he's absolutely feral
Most bars in the vicinity know him by name and they sigh whenever he walks in
Shoko is his emergency contact. She hates it
Shoko has to drag drunk Gojo home at least twice a month and is not happy about it
Once she left him in an alley. He made it home okay so she guesses it's fine
Once he got so drunk he spilled beer on his sock. The thought the fastest way to dry them was by sticking them in the microwave. Forgot about it until someone asked, "Who the fuck is cooking socks???"
I feel it important he was in the break room of the local grocery store and no one knows how he got there
As he was escorted out he stole a grocery cart and rode away in it while singing Don't Threaten Me (With A Good Time) by Panic! At The Disco
He has no alcohol tolerance at all what so ever
He will literally just stare at you and giggle
It's funny he's really flirty but also doesn't seal the deal. Literally, every woman in that bar is willing to get in his bed but he declines every offer. No one knows why
Its because he respects women
He helps his students break the rules as long as they're within reason. Once night Yuji was really hungry and after having a temper tantrum he couldn't order Uber eats bc the school is supposed to be secret Gojo helped sneak him out to get food. Who needs curfew anyway.
The shirts in his closet range from like twenty bucks to the iconic rich bitch shirt the kids ruined in that one chapter we all know the one
He still wears that by the way, he calls it "art"
When he was younger, Megumi drew a picture of Gojo being eaten by his shadow dogs. Gojo found it and now it's framed in his room.
He keeps up with current trends and memes like no one's business. This is how he bonds with his kids.
Don't call him old, but also, he'll tell you to respect your elders it's a mess
He has a lot of games on his phone. You can usually find him holding his phone sideways playing some RPG game he probably spent too much money on
He did hop on the Pokemon Go hype train but after becoming overpowered he got bored
This happens to a lot of games. He pays way too much money, gets to be the strongest in the server, and gets bored
He likes games where you can kill other people's troops and likes to watch as they lose all their power
I canon him as being borderline sadistic
This is why he's Sakata Gintoki reincarnated
White hair, sweet tooth, black leather clothes, dad vibes, never takes anything seriously bc when he does he's scary as fuck, the works.
He is Sakata Gintoki
He liked Gintama growing up. He watched a lot of iconic shows as they aired. He considers himself an og
He's hella bilingual
Because he's the strongest he goes overseas for missions a lot. Because of this he speaks a lot of languages and knows a lot about international cuisine
He takes pictures of himself eating disgusting foods like snails. He never likes them but he loves the idea of Nobara gagging back in japan
Has paperwork sitting untouched on his desk from three months ago that he will not touch for at least another three months
Does the crossword puzzles in the newspaper every week
Uses humor as a coping mechanism and it honestly just became a personality
Constantly popping his joints. I'm sorry if you find this gross I too find it gross.
Probably brought home every stray animal he ever met ever until he was at least like 22 y/o
Tags: @wasabito @kittaliapenn
#jjk#jjk spoilers#jjk headcanons#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen headcanons#jujutsu kaisen spoilers#gojo satoru#satoru gojo#jjk gojo#jjk satoru#gojo headcanons#gojo satoru headcanons
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If y’all haven’t read Scott Pilgrim, please give it a try.
I 100% understand the apprehension. When I started reading, I was expecting the writing to be like… mid-2000s gaming webcomic but with a little more of a plot. Mostly gag without much story, and full of cringy, vaguely offensive “gamer humor”.
What I got was an immeasurably moving story about broken people learning to fix each other, bit by bit, moment by moment, fighting for inch by torturous inch of progress.
And against all odds, succeeding, and learning, and improving, and becoming heroes to each other
I love it so fucking much
I think this book captures the struggle of growing up, and dealing with unfamiliar feelings and mental illness, and navigating relationships…
I think it addresses those topics infinitely better than every other story about teens/young adults that I’ve read before.
It perfectly captures that weird sort of limbo
Where you’re not a teen, you’re not a child, but you can’t really navigate the adult world, because the adult world is bullshit and nobody actually taught you how to deal with it
That part of your life (which, honestly? I think I’m probably still in)
It captures it so well
In such a clever way, where it’s somehow tongue-in-cheek and ridiculous, while simultaneously being an incredibly grounded and relatable story
And it doesn’t make me entirely happy to say I find these characters relatable
They’re fuckups, and they do awful things pretty frequently
But
We all do. We all have at one point or another. What’s important is how we move forward.
“So?”
“So… we try again”
#scott pilgram vs the world#scott pilgrim#spvtw#comics#bryan lee o'malley#my ramblings#also.#I aspire to be as good of a friend as Wallace Wells#Wallace is the best and I love he
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The results pt 2 ~ “What about it makes you cringe?” Category 1
( - prologue. - part 1 - category 2 - category 3)
Okay so this is the results to the question in the quiz, What about it makes you cringe. In reference to the questionnaires core subject about smut fanfics.
Also quick psa there will be a part for the results for the other question - “In kpop fics, Korean words i.e. jagiya, seem to be a no no, would you like to elaborate why?”
Now note these particular results are going to be split into 3 posts because I decided to split the results into 3 categories. 1 - Writing Aspects. 2 - Personal Preferences. 3 - Genuine Problems.
>THIS POST IS CATERGORY 1<
DISCLAIMER BELOW. (please read that before continuing)
This is going to be a long post. The responses were very enlightening but please don’t take this as an attack. Consider this more as constructive cheat sheet to good smut writing or just ignore it if you don’t agree with it. Some of this did get a bit deep appropriate trigger warnings will be put on the appropriate posts but I’m not sorry it got deep fics can also affect real life as much as we wish it were something that didn’t mix in with real life, it does. I’m no official like sex guru or big-time writer, or what ever BUT I did add little advice underneath each answer, which are just a reflection of the people’s answers. Again if you don’t like the sounds of this don’t take it personal and click off.
Writing aspects.
Poorly written/typos – Nearly all of the people said that, poorly written, bad grammar and lots of typos made them cringe. Answers said that sometimes works are so poorly written it comes across as though the person writing doesn’t know how sex works. Now by poorly written they talked about, the plot being non sensical, choppy or lacking decent grammar, too many typos, using words in the wrong context, repetitive language. They also specified they understand not everyone’s first language is English but the least that can be done is proofreading of the works by them or someone else. And many people cried over the use of first person, they felt it brings them out of imagining the fic.
Language used – So they we’re talking about strange words for body parts especially genitals, and just weird terms and phrases in general. Regarding body parts, everyone mentioned that childish or full-on scientific names for genitals was the worst. Feedback suggests calling it a dick, cock – although some commented that cock sounded too vulgar, and pussy. Also referring to female’s arousal as juices was a common answer, to quote one of my fav answers “so none of that her juices coated my fingers’ Like bitch it aint orange juice.” Then for weird terms and phrases, no specific example was given but I’m certain they meant things that literally every man and their dog would not say, ever! Personal opinion here but, “you like what you see?” and “Your wish is my command.”, and “tongues fighting for dominance.” should die off. It’s overused and I’m sick of seeing it – pretty sure no one says that during sex in real life anyway.
So, to avoid it alls you need to do is use second or third person, proofread, and learn how sex works if you don’t know. Also, best way to proofread it to leave it a few days then come back and read it again – also there are apps like Grammarly that help with your writing too. (PSA I personally love proofreading work, because I’m weird like that, so if you ever want me to proofread drop me a message/anon.)
So, take a moment to consider what you are writing, again proofreading is very helpful, and just stick to the mature ways to say dick/pussy. Suggestion here if you can’t write it the mature way, stop writing smut fics because clearly you’re either not mature enough or uncomfortable (to be) writing smut.
Dialogue – Too much dialogue and not enough action cropped up a number of times. Also that the dialogue written is cringy essentially, Then there was too much dirty talk, and dirty talk that shouldn’t even be considered dirty talk which commented a lot in regards to dialogue. And although I think I wrote about this answer previously but weird words, exaggeration, and choppiness in the dialogue. (someone commented over use of buzzword but idk what buzzwords are.) May I also personally add that written fake stutters irritate the living day lights out of me just stop.
---- I actually did another questionnaire about this, it didn’t garner same amount as this one but it gained a good few responses. The answers should be available to see, if you want you can take a look at that to see more about people thoughts when it comes to dirty talk in fics. ----
Advice is, keep in mind when writing dirty talk what sounds good, to plausible, to terrible. Just think about what sounds realistic as well, draw on your own experiences or what you want to be said to you. Also, if you don’t find it sexy don’t write it for everyone else’s sake or to fit in with the trend, stay true to yourself but try to vary it up for each fic you write.
No build up – They talked about how some fics go straight to the dicking down, to action, with no build up or a bit of sensical plot, and it doesn’t work. Or if the characters haven’t even talked and suddenly, they’re down to fuck. They expressed it doesn’t make sense and doesn’t feel like the characters are even that interested, as though they’re fucking for the sake of fucking. This also ties in with some comments that said sometimes people fail to remember smut isn’t just about being railed, it is also about connections with people and making love so going straight to the fucking, fails to make the reader want to continue reading.
The solution to this is to reference history/tension or build up the tension between characters, or just set the scene a little bit before getting straight into it. Also remember no one is having sex without some foreplay and if they are it isn’t very good, so don’t let it be like that in your writing.
Lack of realism/inaccuracies – Okay so this was mainly in regard to sex, the way the body works and some scenarios. To elaborate, people said that there are just some sex positions and places to have sex that just don’t work. In example one person wrote how sex in a gaming/office chair doesn’t work well and they know through personal experience. So, for the readers it’s just super unrealistic that it happens, and it leaves the reader either fixated on figuring out how that is possible or cringing because they know it’s not possible rather than reading the rest of the fic. There’re also just some ways the body doesn’t work I’m not going to go through examples there are so many, but we all know what is meant. Also, I’ll mention that kinks also were apart of the lack of realism, I’ll talk more about that in the next post.
So, based on this the only thing I can say is keep it real and keep it accurate as possible. Like we know its fiction but consider how ridiculous some of the stuff you’re writing may be, how impossible it is. Just don’t be afraid to google things – you can actually freeze and delete your search history – to double check or educate yourself about. Or ask for advice, draw from experience, or maybe try it out yourself with or without your partner then reflect that in your writing.
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END OF CATERGORY 1
(Feel free to discuss in comments, in my messages or send anons or anything like that if you want.)
Tag list
@nctsworld, @lauraneuuh, @jooniyah, @ceoofxiaojun, @lovemayble @hyucksie @myelle-n
- if anyone else wants to be tagged for the next parts let me know via anon or dm -
#kpop smut#wonho smut#nct smut#the boyz#ateez smut#stray kids smut#got7 smut#i.m changkyun#jay park smut#bts smut#SHINee#monsta x#txt#enhypen#ikon bobby#twice#blackpink#itzy instagram#the results#kim taehyung smut#jung jaehyun smut#lee minho smut#google forms smut questionnaire#jackson wang smut#eric nam#kard bm#exo smut#kai smut#jessi#wanna one
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A ridiculously needed defense of Mia Winters
(and I say ridiculously because I don't particularly care for her as a character. But I care for Ethan, and I care that he went through so much shit to save her and never gave up or even thought to, so by extension Mia needs to make sense to me so I need to have a clear image of her in my mind to justify Ethan's ridiculously brave actions in re7, and his devotion to her in re8. But also because my experience watching the show Once Upon a Time and engaging with its fandom has taught me to not hate on characters when they're not fully fleshed out and their bad actions are not adequately explained, especially when said characters are women written by men. And considering that Ethan himself is not fully fleshed out in re7 either, it's no wonder Mia's character is suffering)
So. I'm not here to tell people they're wrong to hate or even just dislike or distrust Mia. That's not my point. But if you do continue to read after the title, you're checking in on your own accord. And my main gripe with people hating on Mia is that they seem to dislike her character when the game itself didn't give much of a good basis on her character in the first place. So yeah, being a woman myself and having seen how fandoms work, I do tend to get a little pissed when people (no matter their gender) are so ready to hate on female characters for no good reason.
Now, I'm not saying Mia is a saint, far from it. RE7 makes clear she holds a lot of the responsibility for what happened, and she even accepts that. But she's also been given redeeming qualities, if you're willing to look for them.
The first glimpse we get of Mia is of her sending a happy message to Ethan, then immediately after we see her admit her wrong and warn him to stay away from her. There's a reason we even get the second video, and that's called setting. The writers wanted Mia to be shown as protective over Ethan while also accepting responsibility from the very first moment - and it's something that repeats itself when we do find her. She apparently has no idea she asked Ethan to come, she self-harms in an effort to stop hurting him, and even through Eveline's control she manages to tell him to leave her.
(like idk why people take lightly the fact that she fucking banged her head on a wall, giving herself a concussion, all in an effort to protect Ethan from what she knew she had turned into but leave it to a fandom to underplay self-harm I guess)
But that's only from the beginning, and from the confused POV of Ethan and a first time player. In Mia's flashback, we see that she'd been given orders that should Eveline get out of control, she had to be eliminated. Now, Eveline had grown fond of Mia, and she was super powerful herself. Taking a powerful being on your side and using them to be on top? That's a super villain origin story if I ever heard one. But Mia doesn't even consider it, from the first moment that civilians are getting in danger, she's ready to eliminate Eveline.
And that's when the first holes start appearing. For what kinds of wars did Mia know that Eveline was made for? How long had she been working with The Connections? Was it before or after marrying Ethan? How did they approach her? How did they know she'd be okay with making a bioweapon to assist in wars? And as herself, how deep was she willing to go in terms of human experimentation?
That's all stuff we have no way of knowing, and frankly any answer, from one extreme to the other, can be assumed. For all we know The Connections approached her, and before she had even realized she was assisting them in creating Eveline. So in general I feel it's kinda unbased to jump on the Mia Hating Train so easily when there's so much missing from the whole story.
Though again, I’m not here to tell people what to like and what not to like. It’s just that I feel there’s a bit too much focus on how Mia is such a horrible person and the true villain of the story and like, it’s getting super tiring, entering fandoms and seeing people being so fucking pissed at some characters. Like, ok. You can’t like everything. But it feels like some people are trying to make that everyone else’s problem.
And the victim blaming is not helping, either. People say all of what happened in re8 is Mia’s fault because she didn’t tell Ethan the truth about what he is, and like. Are we fucking serious. Like I see people call Chris dumb for not explaining the story to Ethan from the beginning, and how it could’ve made things much more simpler if he had, but I don’t think I’ve seen anyone call him the villain of the story (if anything because without him being cryptic we wouldn’t have had the story in the first place). He had his reasons to be cryptic, and if you pause your hate train for a moment, you’ll realize Mia had her reasons as well. We don’t know how long she knew that Ethan was all mold - she wasn’t even conscious during the moment Jack killed Ethan in the first place to see how serious the injury was. For all we knew she only noticed while being pregnant with Rose, or after she was born - so we can’t really blame her for not speaking up. If anything, considering she did realize it and still she stayed with him and knew he and his feelings mattered (”We matter, Ethan! You matter!”) is a big thing. She also seemed to want to tell him, but like, how do you even begin such a discussion? Ethan also saw that she was troubled; you can’t convince me that they were like this, with Ethan knowing she was holding something from him, and Mia knowing and knowingly having a child with him who would definitely be infected by Mold, for three fucking years.
Like at some point you start going like “They can’t have shown us such a fucking toxic relationship and expected us to feel sad for Mia at the end.” But like, people do believe that yes they intended them to be so toxic and Mia to be such a horrible person and for us to just shrug at it, so of course they would blame everything on Mia and not like, idk, Miranda, who was actually the one actively harming the entire Winters family. Or that Rose getting kidnapped was because Mia had been working with The Connections, and that’s how Miranda found out about her, and I’m like, y’all can’t separate butterfly effect from actual blame, can you? Ethan and Mia decided to have a kid two whole years after the Baker incident - when they felt they were safe, on the clear from whatever could be chasing them. They were on witness protection, the newspaper Ethan looks at in the beginning says that Ethan and Mia’s whereabouts are unknown; they were understandably feeling safe to move on with their lives, until someone from The Connections found where Mia was, and through them Miranda was able to learn about Rose. That’s an entirely different concept from Mia being careless or carrying the entire blame for Rose getting kidnapped or Ethan being self-sacrificingly determined to save her. But of course, let’s hate on Mia and then seriously ship Ethan with the villains because they have redeeming qualities and Mia doesn’t ig
I don’t know. Maybe I’m a bit too jumpy of people hating on female characters. But on the other hand, it says a lot that I don’t really care much for Mia or her character, so it’s not like I feel defensive because my fave is receiving hate. If anything, Ethan is my fave, he gets much more uncalled-for hate and I just shrug that off because who gives a fuck about them haters right. But with Ethan... I feel that the hate he receives is mostly because he subverted expectations; he’s not your average trained badass who knows what he’s doing and remains calm through anxious situations, he’s the exact opposite, and people hate on him for not being the former like... you’re missing the entire point of Ethan purposefully being clueless, panicking, saying cringy-ass quips, and honestly, your fucking loss lmao. With Mia, it feels like people choose to see the worst in her when there aren’t too many things to see. And knowing stuff about the world of gaming, it’s fucking telling. In the world of fandom, that’s just fucking annoying. I hate stuff too. But after a certain point you learn to not make your biases everybody else’s problem. Or at least you should. What would I know, being here hoping fandoms could be calmer places.
#Mia Winters#I don't even wanna tag this with other main tags#cause I'm pretty terrified of the fandom#like#hating on stuff doesn't make you look SmartTM and an IntellectualTM#it just makes you look edgy bitter and unwelcoming
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for some reason, i became obsessed with this irrelevant filler character from izumi tsubaki’s lesser known series, oresama teacher. he’s consistently forgotten by fans and ranked 2nd to last out of the student council members, but despite that, i still think he’s a great and well-written character. also, he’s super cute!
and so without futher ado— here’s my stupidly long lovemail/analysis of shuntaro kosaka. a pure 1.5k word ramble about my favorite boy!
kosaka first appears in chapter #43, introduced alongside the rest of the student council members. he’s in class 1-3, the same as yukioka komari. the first major scene we see him in is him having a bad relationship with fellow council member, kanon nonoguchi.
not gonna lie, i forgot this scene existed and i don’t like it since he touches her forcefully. it’s a setup for their relationship later on, though. at this point, kosaka and nonoguchi are both closed off and cold towards each other; aside from their animosity towards each other from their interactions, they have their own personal issues for not being good with interacting with others. nonoguchi has her problems with men stemming from childhood and kosaka just seems bad at understanding how to act properly with people in general.
kosaka’s main arc is the student festival arc, where he plays the villain, but honestly, he’s just cringy as fuck in it. i think it’s good in that it shows how damn extra he is, though-- imo, he’s the most realistically extra of the characters. he’s a 15 year old kid who thinks he’s smart just ‘cause he gets good test scores. of course he’s going to be that bitch who smiles sneakily and thinks of himself as the grandmaster of the chess game, even when his partner in crime, kawauchi, knew all along of his betrayal plan.
we don’t see much of his motivations or personality in the student festival arc as it focuses mainly on okegawa and kawauchi. all we know so far is that he’s smart, manipulative, and sneaky. seems like a typical bad guy.
until the last chapter of the arc, #51. for the first time, we see the previously cool (lol) and cunning kosaka shuntaro... nervously fretting over how to kneel in apology to his superior, miyabi hanabusa.
we learn that kosaka is obsessively reliant on instruction manuals, ever since his childhood. he’s ridiculously good at studying and always gets first place in tests at school. however, he can’t cope with unexpected changes at all. everything has to go exactly to plan or else he comes up with a different approach to completing the original plan, that isn’t always appropriate for the situation.
he’s perfectly confident in interacting with people-- that’s obvious enough throughout the student festival arc--, but he’s bad at interpreting things on the fly, once again, prone to saying things inappropriate to the time and place. kosaka has to do things in order, step-by-step, otherwise he can’t proceed.
a while back, there was a post that talked about him being autistic. to be honest, i never considered this earlier (as in a few years ago, when i first started liking him a lot). but reading back, he really is strongly coded as such, i think. so frankly, the reason i like him might be a more personal reason, but... anyway.
like with the other student council members, miyabi helps him relax and feel better, guiding him to be more carefree and open. i have mentioned this a few times, but i think it’s really wonderful that miyabi basically helped out a bunch of kids with mental issues when their problems might’ve looked small or stupid from the outside. this is also brought up in chapter #104 during the hayasaka arc, where mafuyu and hayasaka both contact him for information about miyabi. he basically says that miyabi got him to join the student council because he was worried about kosaka’s personality and wanted to stay near him for help.
honestly, kosaka is probably the one who’s most grateful to miyabi (outside of nonoguchi?) simply because he recognizes his own issues. there’s a reason why he’s the only student council member whose face you can’t see during the scene where miyabi graduates; he’s the only one of the guys who cry.
kosaka’s problem is that he can’t cope with his plans going off at all, so miyabi sends him to prank mafuyu. even though he tries to get her by making many elaborate plans, he eventually learns to just attack without plan. it ends with him stuck in a ditch and miyabi unexpectedly pranking kosaka himself.
here we see kosaka’s first genuine smile. and it’s beautiful!!! he’s a sweetheart!!! i think that the story of kosaka could’ve worked even without the student festival arc, but that establishes him as an dramatic kid who’s super smart and cunning-- and here we see him just relax for once, and be truly happy.
after this, there aren’t any more kosaka focused chapters. however, he does appear once in a while, usually with the other student council members. (he’s in the very next chapter using yui’s equipment to cross the lake. but since he usually feeds the fish, they all come to him for food...)
kosaka's bad relationship with nonoguchi is reiterated in nonoguchi's arc, chapter #71 where she beats him up for saying that all girls want a prince. it's a stereotypical thing to say either way, but nonoguchi's response about "men wanting to be princelike is self-serving" is more due to her own issues rather than about kosaka in particular. anyway, this is just to highlight that at this point, they both still have their own problems and don't get along.
the next time we see him is during the school trip arc, where, although he’s still being far too overprepared by carrying too much luggage, he seems to be getting along with his class very well. kosaka organizes his class’s schedule and accommodates for changes on the fly (when his teacher wanted to stay longer to see the sea otters), even if it annoys him a bit. it’s an improvement! he’s able to assume a role where his pedantically organized personality is a benefit. mafuyu also notes that both he and ayabe have become more carefree and open with others, with kosaka becoming “the center of class 4″.
i think this chapter, #82, is also the first time kosaka talks about yukioka. since yukioka doesn’t talk to anyone aside from miyabi, he had never heard her voice despite being a close friend. there’s not really any significance to them being besties (does there need to be?), but it does show his sense of responsibility for others since he basically takes care of her. he has more scenes with yukioka in various arcs, mostly in the miyabi graduation arc where he helps protect yukioka from aki.
speaking of that arc, like the other student council members, he gets something precious to him stolen. in this case, it’s the books that he always reads. we find out that he’s actually surprisingly good at drawing from memory despite him believing he doesn’t know how to draw without instructions. this may be partially may be some juxtaposition of him truly being ‘creative’ even though his methods are so ‘academic/scientific’ (even though i don’t believe ‘drawing well’ is what ‘creativity’ is). in my opinion, this represents his progress in general. it’s probably not just art/drawing, but he’s actually gotten better at doing most things without manuals without realizing or being aware of it.
this idea is also expanded upon with the protection of yukioka i mentioned earlier. because kosaka doesn’t have his books, he doesn’t act so formal and is instead more forceful and ‘manly’, making it easier for him to communicate with classmates. by the way, kosaka’s actually popular with the girls in his class (shown in school trip arc 1-koma), but doesn’t realize it because he can’t understand things not directly stated. what a guy...
here is a short break to talk about kawauchi. i think their relationship is hilarious. from kawauchi getting him to dig holes to kawauchi stealing his math books... i feel really sorry for kosaka, but it’s so funny... he just can’t escape him. even in the very last student council saga arc, it was kawauchi behind the scenes all along...
really they’re two characters who are heavily associated with each other and yet... i don’t think kawauchi’s relationship with kosaka says anything about his personality since kosaka was such a one-bit character during the majority of the arc where they interacted (plus kawauchi is awful to everyone). all kawauchi did was give kosaka more trust issues and broke his phone. i feel kinda mean for saying this but it’s so funny how he caused kosaka to be absolutely terrified of delinquents.
honestly kosaka like... doesn’t have a reason to be associated with kawauchi beyond the student festival event. imo it’s just a way for tsubaki to make kosaka relevant or appear once in a while since the other character he’s associated with (yukioka) got a boyfriend and doesn’t appear as often (kawauchi’s common appearances is due to his surprising popularity with fans).
enough about kawauchi though, we’re finally at the end of this long and loving post. at the conclusion of the miyabi graduation arc, the very first conflict of kosaka shown is finally resolved: he’s made up with nonoguchi!
i really love this scene so much!!! i know it’s kinda just a set-up for the next joke, but tsubaki still dedicated over a page just to nonoguchi and kosaka, so it’s genuine to me! it’s so lovely to see that nonoguchi and kosaka have both resolved their own issues with the help of miyabi and the public morals club. they both acknowledge that they weren’t the best in the past, but now they can become friends... this is a relationship that’s been developing in the background of oresama teacher for over 80 chapters... it makes me so happy that tsubaki gave a resolution to it in the end. she truly does care about all her characters no matter how unpopular they are, and i love her for that.
(by the way, i just found out that this can badge released in the same year as the miyabi graduation arc. they’re so cute!)
the story of kosaka and the student council as a whole ends here. everyone’s finally improved, and they’re all happy... people say “oresama teacher has no plot”, but there’s so much to the story of the student council. if i can write so much about one minor character who rarely appears, i think there’s plenty of plot and plenty to say about the others.
that’s all i have to say on this topic for now.
actually, i started writing this back in 2019 but i forgot about it until recently. my thoughts haven’t changed, though... i hope this post shines some light on why i like kosaka and tsubaki so much. to be honest, though, i’d probably just say that he’s sooo cute and i wanna protect that sweet smile of his... my 174 cm tall son.
#oresama teacher#shuntaro kosaka#text#please read it i simply think izumi tsubaki is a genius#i'm ignoring everything past miyabi graduation arc btw i forgot what happened there so </3
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Idea: Stasya decides to prank Evie as revenge for all the pranks she's pulled. What's her plan and how does it go?
First she consults with Sullivan:
Nastasya: So hey, Evie was a kid when she was Embraced, yeah?
Sullivan: *Looks at Stasya like she's an idiot*
Nastasya: Does she still CONSIDER herself a kid?
Sullivan: When it serves her, yeah. She likes to lull people into a false sense of security with her "I am baby" act.
Sullivan: Seriously though, she had a rough childhood and I think rather than being upset she'll never get older, she's happy to have a second one she'll never leave. A lot of people Embraced at that age are close enough that they consider themselves adults after a while but I don't think that's the case with Evie. So let's assume yes. Why?
Nastasya: I was just wondering if it would be inappropriate to drop her into a pit of dicks, that's all. I want to get my own back and my pranks tend to be en-ess-eff-doubleyoo.
Sullivan: My gut tells me she'd think it was funny, but I tend to get the sense with Evie that it's better to play it safe. Especially if the dicks are squirming. Like they tend to be when you're involved.
Nastasya: o7 Got it.
So I KNOW this question meant Evie, but this turned into a prank on Beckett put on as a show for Evie (both figuratively and literally). Hopefully that still counts lol. There is another prank at the bottom tho which is on both of them!
She ultimately decides to prank Evie by going for Beckett himself. She approaches everyone that Beckett's ever pissed off uh, some of the people who Beckett's ever pissed off because I don't think even Nastasya has that much free time, and goes, "hey, want to help me play a prank with Beckett?"
"What's in it for me?"
"I will do it as a favour to you."
Naturally the answer is a unanimous "fuck yes."
In Maddyverse, this takes place after BJD and therefore post-Dracon, but before Sascha and Beckett become friends. (I don't know if Sascha and Beckett ever become friends in Evieverse but I'm sure this could happen there too.) So Sascha's not talking regularly (if at all) with Stasya either, but they get wind of what's going on and offers to be bait, which Stasya gladly (if a bit warily) accepts in exchange for free access to one of her journals.
Nastasya: which journal.
Sascha: whichever one has information on *me*.
Nastasya:... not to be an embarrassing stalker on main -
Sascha: You've always BEEN a stalker on main.
Nastasya: but I've got like. Eight of those.
Sascha: ugh. I skim through all of them and choose one, then. Deal?
Nastasya: Deal.
So one night, Beckett learns that Sascha is going after a Gehenna-related artefact. Naturally, his response to that is "oh no you DON'T" and picks up the trail and races to catch up.
Once Sascha is aware Beckett is on their trail, they "accidentally" lead him to the beginning of the chain then drop back, grab the popcorn, and watch.
So Beckett ends up visiting a lot of people from Beckett's Jyhad Diaries, who are like, ohhh, you just missed it, I just found out that X is involved! and sends Beckett further down the chain. Every time Beckett appears to lose interest and chase after something else (he tends to do that in BJD), Sascha just casually dips back in to increase the sense of urgency.
But then it gets weird: it becomes apparent that Evie actually has the artefact and is slowly making her way through Beckett's contacts on some kind of misadventure. The story appears to be that Evie stole the artefact from Beckett, and is now appealing to people she knows Beckett's pissed off for help to hide from him and sharing blackmail materials along the way. The "blackmail materials" are videos of Beckett being really silly -- dancing with underwear on his head, casually filming an entire parody of a Rick Roll where he's the star, reciting memes in a cringy context, waxing lyrical about Dracula, replacing the Screaming Cowboy in that one meme, etc. The contacts all know the videos are fake, but they pretend to take them seriously and there's a few running gags of "hey, Beckett, there's a production of Dracula that'll debut in Edinburgh where I hear the actor playing Dracula is very attractive!"
(I'm sure by now Evie will have caught on to what's going on. Beckett will realise Vicissitude's involved, especially as Evie's been by his side the whole time so he knew all along it wasn't her. also because he definitely did not star in any embarrassing videos. Nastasya is hoping by this point that Evie keeps going along for the ride instead of telling Beckett what it is.)
The treasure trail leads to the final dress rehearsal of the production of Dracula that Beckett's contacts have been joking about the whole time, which is being treated as the production itself, but with a friends-and-family audience before the debut. Beckett's assured that one of the actors is a ghoul of the vampire responsible and has the artefact in their possession. They end up with two free tickets and are encouraged to watch the show and wait to investigate until after the play is concluded. Beckett, naturally, would rather spend this time backstage picking on actors but maybe Evie encourages him to watch the show first, maybe she doesn't. Either way, they'll quickly notice that the cast has been a bit genderbent -- Van Hellsing is now a woman that looks rather a bit like Evie, and Mina is now a man that looks a lot like Beckett. There is a lot of homoeroticism between Dracula and "Beckett". Like a LOT.
After they go backstage after the show they find "Evie", who makes a big deal out of "protecting the artefact" in her arms. Eventually Evie and Beckett wrangle it out of her, and she disappears.
It's a book. Specifically, it's a hardcover copy of Dracula. It's been embossed with gold leaf and rebound into a fancy leather cover, but it's definitely Dracula.
It's signed by Beckett. It has a letter inside the cover.
Dear Evie,
I wanted to get you back for all the Beckett-related pranks, but Sullivan veto'd my idea of dropping you in a pit of dicks, so I thought I'd play one on Beckett for you instead. I hope you enjoyed the show. I certainly enjoyed arranging it. The actors are stand ins - sadly the real run will have a "proper" Mina and Van Hellsing. Absolute tragedy and a waste, I say.
Oh, and, enjoy the gift. No matter what Beckett says, he absolutely signed it. I was the one who asked him to, even if he didn't recognise me at the time. I've been waiting to spring this on him for years.
Love,
Auntie Stasya
xoxoxo
PS -- They were all in it. Do remind Beckett that it's wise not to anger everyone he meets. I managed to cultivate quite a few favours just for the opportunity to fuck with Cuthbert Beckett. I hear some of the Kindred I roped into it showed up to the performance.
Nastasya probably doesn't see Evie that often - Sullivan mostly works on the west coast, though I'm sure he brings Evie whenever he needs to travel if she's not with Kara or Beckett - but she is genuinely fond of her "niece" and finds her pranks hilarious, even when they're at her own expense.
I'm sure at some point or other, when she and Beckett are on actually friendly terms, she'll play a prank on Evie herself. She and her coterie fleshcraft themselves to look like Beckett while they're in NYC, and when Beckett briefly steps out for whatever reason, a fake Beckett comes back and wanders off with Evie, first starting subtle then slowly acting more ridiculous until it's obvious it's a fake Beckett. At which point they track down the "real" Beckett (it's another fake) who gets offended at this prank... rinse and repeat until the real Beckett actually shows up (he got distracted with a fake Evie) and they're being followed around by 3-6 Becketts (depending on whether or not Ilias, Sascha and Sullivan are available/want to get involved. Possibly 7 Becketts if Rose joins in - I think having ONE Beckett who looks exactly the same as the others but obviously hiding her forehead would be hilarious - or even 8 if Evie uses her Chimerstry) all claiming they're the real one and "clearly this is a sign of Gehenna!" no this is not based on the prank the squad once played on Jan Pieterzoon at a convention.
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i actually hate stranger things so much it believes in its own hype too much and they’re obsessed with making stupid one off characters the audience will make memes out of so that they can bring them back the next season to the point where it’s painfully obvious and so cringy (i don’t use that word lightly. murray is fucking annoying and stupid. and if you say you liked him and/or alexei you are either lying or so susceptible to the laziest attempts to make a character likeable that you have no critical thinking skills) half of season 3 was meme and reaction gif bait which is such a soulless way to make a tv show. the brand and merchandising is fucking ridiculous, you can tell by how the female characters are written that the duffer bros have never spoken to a woman in their life. they have never heard of nuance or subtlety either. every theme and plot point and character motivation in this show has to hit you over the head with a brick with how unsubtle it is. people make theories about things that aren’t obvious and like i promise you guys they are not that smart. i fucking hate this show. i will be watching season 4
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axelle judges bl shows > My Day
/!\ SPOILERS AHEAD
shitty summary: Sky starts an internship at a baking company ran by Ace, a cold man who doesn’t seem to give him a break.
where to watch: youtube
grade: 8/10
pros:
- the chemistry was fire. you can really feel how much the actors worked on themselves to deliver it & for me it’s definitely the best thing about the show.
- I really liked the representation of the show. I feel like I’m repeating myself by now but I truly appreciate filipino bls actually giving us characters calling themselves gay (though I do feel some biphobia coming from certain shows ngl (not this one)) bc that’s something that almost never happens in bls from other asian countries. while most bls focus on the love story & often forego actual representation, filipino show us that yes two men falling in love does have to do with sexuality. I know, shocker.
- the acting was good! most of the time it was a little cringy & over-the-top ngl, but the actors did really shine during emotional scenes. in a way this reminds me of ossan’s love where most of the story is ridiculous but the actors still got to shine during the scenes that were meant to be taken seriously, aka the emotional ones. my favorite scene, probably of the whole show, is ace’s coming out to kim. both actors were amazing & I loved this whole dialogue.
- I looooove ace & sky, like... a whole lot. I loved how equal they were & seeing their relationship evolve was sooo beautiful. they’re truly what saved this show for me.
- this show is super entertaining. while the first couple of eps are kinda meh, the rest of them is full of drama & plotlines and frankly this almost felt like a soap opera bc it was so ridiculous... but in a good way.
cons:
- wayyyyyy too many dialogues, especially towards the end. don’t get me wrong, I love character development & good exposition dialogues, but here I feel like so much of the show were characters sitting down & talking about their feelings over & over again when they were already made clear by the acting. sometimes not speaking is the best way to show the characters’ feelings.
- moira getting a redemption storyline in ten minutes was the most bullshit thing ever. she almost commited murder & was a terrible person since ep 1 YET decided to apologize just when the show was ending, hummmmm................ & it’s the same for ace’s father, who is suddenly not homophobic when he HIT his son for being gay like a day prior... I just hate these kinds of forced redemption storylines when the show clearly hasn’t given enough time for these characters to change. even ace’s mother returning with her gf & him forgiving her was rushed af. ESPECIALLY considering there’s gonna be a season 2, meaning that they could’ve left a few storylines to develop in depth during that.
- I’m sorry but so much of the plot don’t make no sense. is aces of cake a bakery? a company that makes baking ingredients? why do they participate to a baking competition and decide to send a student in hotel & restaurant management???????? the fuck???? also the most infuriating thing is ace leaving sky in ep 11 bc he wants to settle things with his father AND THEN getting back with sky before he could fucking settle them. I enjoyed the laid back & fun vibes of this show but some things gotta make at least a little bit of sense.
would I rewatch it: probably
I understand that this show will not be for everyone bc it does contain a lot of mediocrity that drowns out the good things. But I’d say give it a try, I think you might enjoy it :)
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