#theyre so fucking cute. im going to lay on the floor and be overwhelmed by yearning

[nyxofdemons]

THE WAY THAT THEY INVENTED ROMANCE WITH THIS SONG???? HELLO?????

#'i don't know why you waste your time on me' 'baby; all i got is time!' OH MY *GOD* #WHY IS THAT THE MOST ROMANTIC THING THATS EVER HAPPENED #im screaming and crying knowing no one else will ever have what they do #like i am so serious ive never REALLY cried at this show before but this song got me so bad #theyre so fucking cute. im going to lay on the floor and be overwhelmed by yearning #mine #fave #<- yes im tagging my own posts w this #helluva boss #helluva boss spoilers #fizzarolli #asmodeus #fizzmodeus #helluva boss fizzarolli #fizzarolli helluva boss #asmodeus helluva boss #helluva boss asmodeus #e: mammon's magnificent musical mid-season special

[sunqyu]

~ Treasure realizing they love you and the first time they say it pt 1.

Request 1: “ hmm im all in cute feelings, so FIRST I LOVE YOUS with treasure reaction thingy, would be super sweet 🙊💗🌼🌼 “ - anon

Request 2: “ i love your writing! treasure realizing theyre in love with their s/o🥺 “ - anon

These requests are both so adorable and fitting so I decided to combine them. Hope you enjoooy. Also, buckle up ‘cause ITS A LONG ONE AGAIN. Got carried away as usual so it’ll be in two parts. K BYE <3 - Nova

Hyunsuk

realizing it

it doesn’t take much to make Hyunsuk like you

but to actually fall in love with you

that’s a different story

he’s alone at the studio, trying to get his verse right

every time he fixes something he didn’t like, he notices something else

he’s sat at his desk, elbows next to the keyboard

head hanging down with his fingers tangled in his hair

a sharp inhale

a shaky exhale

then his phone lights up, a message from you, asking if he’s home yet and how his day went

2.30am, he reads

he starts typing, frantically, on and on as the chaos in his head makes it’s way onto his phonescreen

only for him to stop and delete it all because he knows what he really wants to send you

but it’s too late and he doesn’t want to be a burden, you need your sleep too

when he looks up and sees his own reflection in the, now dimly lit, screen of his computer

another sharp inhale

‘Not so great to be honest, can I come to your place?’ sent.

on the way to your house he’s still thinking about turning back

but all those thoughts are long gone the moment you open the door

your eyes beaming at him, messy bun wiggling side to side and you’re wrapped up in a blanket

his heart melts as he feels the tightness in his temples and neck from the stress subside

‘Hi- I missed you.’

you probably didn’t notice but he almost said something else

he snickers to himself, that would’ve been a bit early

saying it

definitely the type to say it without realizing what he’s saying

you two are getting groceries

which, even though it’s not a special thing, is always so much fun

this time you ended up playing hide and seek

it wasn’t really discussed, you just lost Hyunsuk at one point and decided to turn it into a game instead of calling him

which means it’s your turn now

it had been over 20 minutes and he was getting worried

very impressed with your skills

but worried

in the end he decided to call you

to his surprise he hears your ringtone behind him

he turns around

the ringtone is still behind him

he turns around

what the-

he turns around but really fast this time

his eyes meet yours a second before you start dying from laughter

‘How long where you doing that for-?’ he laughed in self-pity and disbelieve

when he finds out you never left he sighs

‘Ugh- I love you.’ he mutters inbetween chuckling

for a second he freezes, a thousand things running through his mind

but y’know what? fuck it.

‘Yea- it’s true. I love you.’

Jihoon

realizing it

also seems like someone who does not fall in love quickly

mostly because he’s not looking for it, he doesn’t feel the need to be in love to be happy

but once he does

oh boy

so when you came in his life he wasn’t thinking about a potential relationship

or wondering if you two would be compatible

he simply enjoyed your presence and you two got closer as friends

because of this the moment he realizes he has feelings for you will be overwhelming for him

wasn’t ready

you weren’t even doing anything different than usual

just eating in the yg cafetaria, both rambling about things

subjects that made people walking by look up because they didn’t get the full story

out of nowhere he fell hard

the mechanism that’s supposed to be his brain malfunctioning

croissant in mid-air

it all just made sense

the reason why he could never be sad around you

the reason that made your eyes twinkle more than anyone elses

the reason you saying his name sounds different than when anyone else says it

the reason he’s now sitting with his mouth wide open staring at you without really looking at you

‘Y-yea, I was listening. Ofcourse I was.’

saying it

probably says it on a special occasion

not planned or anything

it just seemed fitting in that moment

he realized before you two were even dating so it’s not like there’s any doubt left

still, expressing it feels like a very big step

it was quite a warm autumn evening

you were sitting on the floor at the salon table

filled with food from different places

‘I’m so proud of us.’ he beamed

you had just finished a very important essay which is going to be a great advantage when looking for an internship

he had just ended filming their third music video

‘I wish I could show you, you’re gonna love it.’ he mumbled before grabbing another bite

it looked like a feast but takeout-style

you continue eating, enjoying each others company

all the windows were open because of the nice weather

a soft breeze would ruffle the curtains

the subtle sound mixing well with the music

Jihoon had looked for just the right playlist for almost half an hour

and it couldn’t have been more perfect

the warm light of the candles was accompanied by a desklight

you got it out of your room because the ceiling light wasn’t cozy but the candles weren’t enough to see each other’s face (or the food)

the topic slowly drifts to more nostalgic memories

dates to the beach, your weekend in Japan, meeting his friends

‘You know what’s funny? out of all of those memories the one that is most special to me was a really simple one.’ something in his expression changed and you sat calmly, waiting for him to continue

‘It was a few days before I asked you out on our first date. We were at yg, eating something.’ he grabbed another bite of food, chuckling at your impatient response

‘I don’t know what it was but out of nowhere I realized I was in love with you.’ the words came out while he looked at his plate, looking up only a second before he continued

‘I still do. I love you-, even more each day.’

Yoshi

realizing it

there’s not really a specific moment where it hit him

his love for you grew gradually

which is exactly how he liked it

from the moment he met you he was never nervous around you

he never felt like he wasn’t good enough or like he had to try harder

everything made sense from day one

there would be moments where is heart could burst from it

like the time you tried to fix his broken jeans with a youtube tutorial

or when you first fell asleep on his chest

the worst was when he couldn’t see you for a few days

as if the love in him grew and grew but he couldn’t give it to you

he just felt like he was going to explode sometimes

the other boys would notice very easily

‘I know it’s only a few days, you guys are right.’

his mind didn’t listen to his own words

‘I’m fine- I promise.’

but if it’s a few more hours he might not be

he would go to bed quite early these days

after he noticed that trying to distract himself wasn’t working

he’d scroll through photo’s you took together

and photo’s he took of you

he’d sent you another text, hoping your phone was off so he wouldn’t wake you up

a strange mix of happiness and sadness

luckily once he realizes his sadness is temporary and it only shows how special you are to him he’ll be able to focus on the happiness

thinking about all the memories you’ve made and will make in the future as he slowly drifts to sleep

saying it

finally

finally he was going to see you again

it was only like three days but boy was he DEPRIVED

he was the first done packing

the first in the car

the first to run into the dorm and put his bag away

aaaand the first to run out the door again

you two had been texting all day about movies to watch and all the stories he wanted to tell

his knee bumped up and down in the bus

he couldn’t remember the last time he was this hyped

only three more stops

he gazed out the window chuckling at himself

who would’ve thought someone could make him feel like this?

his hand clutched on to the souvenir he got you

two more stops

an old couple got in

yoshi always had a weakness for happy old couple

but now especially

he smiled politely at them

admiring how in love they looked

that would be you in the future, he thought to himself

one more stop

his smile was still on his face

recognizing restaurants you two went to

clothing stores where you complimented his style

and then

the bus stop

it’s the one where you two met

he still can’t believe he managed to strike up a conversation with you that day

but it must’ve been meant to be

he looked around frantically as soon as his foot hit the sidewalk

the sound of your shoes on the floor came closer

he turned to face the sound and before he could even see your face he was holding you in his arms again

tightly as if to tell the world you were his

a deep sigh left his mouth before he mumbled into your hair

‘I love you- I missed you so much. I’m so happy to see you.’

Junkyu

realizing it

‘stop being weird-’ ‘says who?’

you and Junkyu were laying on his bed

both with your limbs spread out, staring at the ceiling

you weren’t sure how long you’d been there

he hummed along to the song you just put on

before being interrupted by the sound of his own stomach

‘Oh wow- sounds like it’s time for lunch.’ 

you nodded in agreement as you grabbed your phone

he started thinking about what to get, watching you tap away on your phone

your hair was laying in a circle around your head

a shadow from the ceilinglight behind your phone over your eyes

he noticed how you pupils dilated as they adjusted to the light everytime your moved your phone a bit

your eyes are cool af, woah

he turned to his side, still looking at your features while you scrolled on your phone

the song changed and this time it was you humming along

your voice is so nice, he thought to himself

his dreamy moment was interrupted by you looking at him

oh right- food

‘Uh- I want uh-..’

to his surprise you tell him you already ordered

‘What- what about me?’

you listed the things you ordered for him, saying how you definitely knew what he wanted by now

he was shocked

if you aren’t the SWEETEST MOST THOUGHTFUL HUMAN BEING

then he wouldn’t know who is

his dreamy moment continued, even though you were staring right back this time, confused

he never felt like this before

like he wants to fast-forward and sit in a rocking chair with you, grumbling about youth

wait

fuck

this is love isn’t it?

saying it

he promised

he promised he wasn’t going to fall asleep during the movie

but look at him now

soft deep breathing, lips slightly parted as he was laying against you

even though you didn’t want to wake him up you had already seen this movie with friends and the remote was all the way on the table

you reached forward in slow motion

slowly

sloooooowly

Junkyu moved, rubbing his cheek against your shoulder before mumbling under his breath and laying still again

that was close

the journey continues

slooooooooooowly

you were only 10cm away from reaching the remote

‘N-no hh.. stay h- ple ase.’

a dilemma

lean forward a bit more or sit back and just let the man sleep?

bit more

sloooooooooooooooowly

your fingertips grazed the remote and it wobble side to side

‘Babe?-’ that definitely sounded more awake then earlier

but when you look at him you see he’s definitely not fully awake yet

‘Come back to beeed-’ he whined

bed? boy, we’re on the couch

you didn’t mention it and instead quickly grabbed the remote before you sat back down a little faster

‘Th-nk yo-’ he held you tighter

‘Love you-’

wait what?

Mashiho

realizing it

seems like a hopeless romantic to me

so might realize quite fast

this man has been fantasizing and imagining his future love life for so long

not to the point where he’s yanking flowers apart to find out if you love him or not

but he sees the beauty in so many things

enjoys the warmth of the sun on his skin

likes to watch people going about their day and thinking what their life is like

leaves sweet notes on receipts for hardworking employees to find when they come clean his table

little things but a lot of things

he has an eye for beauty and knows exactly how to use it for his own happiness

so he quickly noticed how happy you made him

it was again, the little things

but so so many

how your pinky finger was always a little higher than the rest when your hands were relaxed

how the cute baby hairs on the back of your neck would always leave your ponytail within minutes of putting your hair up

how your foot would bounce up and down when you sat with your legs crossed, even if there was no music

how every time you called him cute he had to keep himself from calling you cute because he knew you’d hide your face in your hands right after

the way you sat against the mirror when you came to watch him practice

sleeves of his sweater to long for your arms as you clapped after each song

loving you wasn’t something that happens at one point

it’s built within him since the moment you met

it just grows and grows as you take care of it with your cuteness and love

saying it

so much snow

everywhere

the snowflakes were most visible under the light of the streetlanterns

appearing and disappearing as they went back into the dark nightsky

the crisp sound from under your shoes was relaxing

you and Mashiho had a snowballfight after finishing about 20 snowangels each

it had gotten dark before you knew it so now you were walking home

his arm around your shoulder, rubbing softly to keep you warm

you felt the cold water through your gloves but sharing bodyheat was all you needed

both of you had soft smiles on your faces, walking in content silence

and you were also just EXHAUSTED so the quiet evening was a nice change

in some of the houses you walked by you could already see christmaslights and trees

he noticed you looking

‘Lets get our own decorations soon.’ 

you nodded happily, leaning against him a little more

this was going to be your first christmas together

you never expected to celebrate it with someone this year

the idea of setting up a tree together and the coziness it would bring made him feel warm inside

you discussed fun things you could do for christmas

ways to surprise the boys or what you wanted to eat

he listened to you talk about memories and future plans

when he noticed how clearly he was already involved in those future plans he couldn’t help himself

‘Hey-’ he gave your shoulder a squeeze to make you look at him

‘I love you, so so much-‘

Jaehyuk

realising it

it was the first time you were going to meet the rest of Jaehyuk’s group

a little nervous but mostly excited you walked to the front door

he told you to text him when you got there so he could see you before the rest did

a few second after you saw he read your message the door opens

you get a kiss on the lips, a tight hug and a kiss on your forehead all after each other

he wanted to show you love but also wanted to mentally prepare you for what was about to him

don’t get him wrong, he loves the other members with all his heart but he could imagine them being a little.... overwhelming.

before he could even ask you if you were nervous the yells from the living room began

curious heads peeking out from behind his back, 11 hands reaching out to you as they all wanted to introduce themselves first

you could make out some teasing to Jae followed by someone’s voice trying to keep the peace

he looked at you with slight worry in his face, only to be greeted by a cheerful smile

before he knew it you were bashing out jokes left and right

even standing up for him a few times in the funniest ways

he couldn’t be happier

so many people he loved in one room

one in particular though

he took a moment to sit back against the couch and look around in awe

so happy

after a few hours and some good food it was time for you to go home

he watched you end your conversation with Asahi

who, to his surprise, seemed like he didn’t want the conversation to end

you waved goodbye to everyone and got loads of no’s and why’s in return

‘It’s late guys, she still has to go home.’

saying it

you still heard the whining when you and Jae reached the front door

you talked a few more minutes about how much you enjoyed yourself and the funny and awkward moments you two noticed

‘Apparently you don’t only make me happy but my friends too.’

you beamed at the compliment

even though you enjoyed the night as well, the validation that they did too meant a lot to you

‘So I’ve been approved?’ ‘Clearly.’

he insisted on walking you home 

you discussed the evening even more

he explained more about their personalities and memories he has with them which now made so much sense to you

your fingers were intertwined, arms swinging back and forth playfully

for some reason he felt a lump in his throat

but he couldn’t quite figure out why

it even distracted him from your conversation a few times

which is very unlike him so you noticed quickly

when you stopped walking to ask him what was wrong

looking him in the eye to show you you were not taking nothing for an answer

the determined look in your eyes made him realize what it was

what he had been holding back

but he didn’t say it

not yet

after a few minutes you reached your frontdoor

‘Thank you for the great evening, I’m sure they’ll want you back as soon as possible.’

he leaned in for a goodnight’s kiss, holding you close a little tighter than usual

for a second he pulled back

‘I love you-’

before connecting your lips again

#this took me forever but I'm pretty happy with it #hope you all enjoy! #treasure #treasure reaction #treasure scenario #yg #ygtb #hyunsuk #jihoon #yoshi #junkyu #mashiho #jaehyuk #kpop

[barryjeanblues]

taako meets death (again)

(also posted to my ao3)

taako has met two raven queens in his life before now.

well, close enough, at least. most - though not all - of the worlds the starblaster had traveled to had gods, and surprisingly enough, those gods were usually - though not always - strikingly similar to their homeworlds gods. (this was useful, because one of the crews number relied very heavily on a certain nature god for his magic. luckily, the nature or life god of each world always seemed to have a soft spot for little old merle, even if they werent merles traditional cloven-hoofed pan.)

twice, taako had met the death god - someone equivalent to faeruns raven queen. 

this had led to taakos understandable trepidation upon kravitz finally putting his foot down and insisting taako meet his mother boss. 

the first time taako had met a raven queen, she had been… overwhelming. the light of creation had fallen into a forest dedicated to her and her followers, and the head acolyte refused to give the wandering crew the light unless they first received permission from the queen.

the crew had agreed, with no other option, bracing themselves to firmly explain the direness of the situation. surely a goddess would be intelligent enough to understand. 

that raven queen had burst into a forest cleaning in an explosion of black feathers, half illusion, half steel, so that when lup brushed the smoky feathers from her eyes they blurred and dissipated, but when magnus tried the same thing he yelped and brought his hand back bleeding. 

that raven queens laughter had been eerie and echoing, almost but not quite mocking, almost but not quite infectious, almost but not quite joyous. the crew had stood firm and offered their argument, and the queen had given them tests and tokens and bargains and tricky promises with too many clauses and loopholes and at the end of it all the ipres numbers had been halved and the rest were weary and worn as they caught the light of creation and fled with only minutes to spare, the faelike laughter of death following them terribly even through the overwhelming cacophony of the hungers assault. 

that laughter had trailed after them longer, if only in their heads. taako would be making stir fry, planning outfits, swapping merles shampoo for hair-loss potions, when hed have to sit down suddenly and breathe through the musical trills of the raven queens cruel pleasure. it had seemed to bounce in his head the way a rubber ball might, ricocheting off thoughts and feelings until it rolled under a couch to be forgotten about, till some slight movement sent it rolling and bouncing about once more. 

davenport had died in an illusion, thinking he was saving his crew. poor merle had been choked by his own plants, betrayal writ across hos face. barrys skin had grown sickly purple with poison - ten to one odds arent very good odds. taako doesnt forget easily. he decides the goddess of death can go fuck herself. 

the second raven queen taako had met much later in their journey, and taako had met her alone. 

lup and barry had become liches a few cycles back. it was something taako had still been coming to terms with. 

taako loves lup. this is an immutable fact of any and every universe. taako loves lup and lup loves taako and not death or memory or space can separate them, not for long. but seeing your sister die, and then… go beyond death, to twist herself and latch on to a chance that she may never return except in madness and spite - thats a hard thing to grasp, even when she succeeds. taako had still found himself shivering when his sister forgot she had a body again and grabbed a hot pan off the stove, crying out in pain. taako still woke sweating from nightmares in which his sister and his friend flew apart and reformed as cackling red robed horrors of insanity and cruelty, too far for him to reach. 

until that cycle, though, barry and lups choice had only been an asset. 

but some raven queens do not take kindly to anything they see as a perversion of their domain. 

barely a week into that cycle, taako had awoken from the guilty non-elven pleasure of a nap only to find himself in some cold, hard court, fashioned seemingly of steel and silver and concrete, onyx lining the floor and the only color coming from sparse sapphires sparkled throughout the long echoing hall. 

at the end of it - and taako had known his eyes must have played tricks on him, because at first the being at the end of the hall seemed, while large, not much larger than a giant, but when hed called a nervous greeting his voice had echoed so awfully he knew the hall stretched much farther than hed thought and the goddess at the end of it must have been unimaginably huge. 

her eyes had glinted a flinty sapphire in her carven steel face when she ordered him to defend the existence of his sister and his sisters lover. 

taako had tried. he truly, truly had. but while taako is a being of preservation and caution, full of intelligence and cleverness, he is not one of cold hard logic. perhaps lucretia could have convinced this raven queen, the only of their number who had ever been able to grasp true hard reason… but taako doubts it. he had doubted it then and he doubts it even more these days. 

the point is, taako, for all his love for his family and his brilliant wit and devotion (probably, in fact, because of it) taakos arguments couldnt convince that raven queen. she saw past his genuine belief that lup and barry had made a good decision, and into his fears for her, and the goddess of death had based her own argument on those. she won. taako never had a chance. 

he, lup, and barry had woken up in the next cycle, newly resurrected. taako never stops feeling guilty about it. 

so. yes. 

taako is more than a little nervous about meeting the goddess his boyfriend serves so devotedly. but, and youd be hard pressed to convince him to admit it, taako would do anything for kravitz. and despite it all he does actually want to see what the deal is with his sister and his best friends boss, and his patron gods… friend? lover? girlfriend? taako isnt quite sure what fate and death are to each other, but its definitely something.

kravitz lays a warm hand on taakos shoulder, but taako squares them up. he can do this, for fucks sake - hes died a shitton of times, he can meet death. 

the doors open and taakos breath - the only breath in this realm of the dead - catches in his throat.

taako is a die hard istus fan, and shell always be his goddess. but if taako wasnt a taken elf, hed follow the raven queen, he realizes with a startle.

shes beautiful, yes. shes gorgeous, and taakos always been weak for beauty, but hers isnt the cold hard beauty of gemstones and gold, thinks his nimble fingers snatch up and hoard in his endless pockets. the raven queen is beautiful in a way that taako cant describe as anything other than simple.

he cant pin down any features. she has a kind face, gentle hands, bright eyes, but taako can tell she is a goddess because despite staying still the image of her flicks and shifts in his head. at once she seems to have every kind face hes ever seen, even if he doesnt recognize anyone. her hands reach out to comfort him - no more than comfort - but she stands without moving in front of taako and kravitz. her eyes glitter and sparkle and crinkle up with cheerful laughter, except taako isnt entirely sure she has eyes at all, or maybe she has too many. 

he thinks… he thinks maybe she has wings, or maybe theyre arms, or maybe theyre black fabric, draped around and behind and below and above her, shifting with the last breaths of every mortal in the universe. its darkness but its not scary, taako realizes, its solacing, healing, the way that he feels when dusk passes to night and the sky is huge and warm and the brush of lups hand against his as she says goodbye for the night is a relief and a love. 

hello, taako, death says. its lovely to meet you. 

she means it, taako knows. he can tell, somehow. shes just happy to meet him. nothing more, nothing less. 

'oh,' taako says aloud, and kravitz laughs his quiet sweet dorky laugh, and the raven queen laughs too, and its just that. its just a laugh, and its a nice one.

'oh indeed,' kravitz says. 'taako, did you really think id serve a monster or a cruel master?'

'well,' taako replies hesitantly, 'honestly, homie, i kind of thought you were, and id, like, have to start some quest to slay death itself and rescue you.'

the anthropomorphic personification of death laughs again, a note of delight in her tender voice. i like him, my kravitz, she says, good job.

kravitz does the dead-reaper equivalent of blushing. taako grins a little because its very cute. 

'death is different here,' taako hums. 'its… it wasnt like this anywhere else i went. it was cold, or cruel, or empty. i dunno why its different in your world.'

'then i guess we're the lucky ones, huh?' kravitz asks. taako leans up against him and murmurs an agreement. 'its why i love my job so much, why it means so much to me. its not that im some hardass, i just…'

'yea, cha'boy gets it now,' assures taako. 'still.' he looks at the ever-shifting, ever-stable face of death again. 'you better treat my boy kravitz and my lady istus well, capiche? or we will have issues.'

its a deal, taako, the raven queen says, smiling. 

when taako opens his eyes, hes in his home in the material plane, and kravitz is next to him, and theyre both smiling. 

#this is unedited and also i wrote it at 4am #taako #kravitz #taakitz #the raven queen #taz balance #the adventure zone balance #fanfiction #death tw #trigger warning for death because it is a fic about the goddess of death #and also taako mentions some times that they died before story and song (so they dont count) #m text #fic #text #ask to tag #o shit yea and its lowkey lowkey inspired by gaimans death because i like the idea of a nice death

[venusmages]

otp tag.

tagged by @solasan​, thank u!!!!!   tagging: @ritualism​ and @editoress​ i think all my other Wayhaven ppl have been @’d already

PENNY AND FELIX EDITION

DISAGREEMENTS.

who is more likely to raise their voice?

i neither! penny if i had to choose, but shes usually p good at keeping cool. and felix doesn’t seem like a shouty person anyways.

who threatens to leave but never actually does?

N/A

who actually keeps their word and leaves?

N/A

who trashes the house?

N/A

do either of them get physical?

N/A

how often do they argue/disagree?

i think their first disagreement is in book 2 when Felix got hurt during Sanja’s rescue. Penny feels super guilty about it and is worried Felix is brushing it off when he has a right to be upset. She’s kinda haunted by that whole situation and the choice she had to make. Other than that, they definitely never really argue. At most in the beginning Penny was just kind of oblivious/flippant because she’s socially awkward lol

who is the first to apologize?

both lmao

SEX.

who is on top? who is on bottom?

Felix is a little top  you cant convince me otherwise

any kinks?

not really

who has the strangest desires?

i think they’re mostly just cute in bed without anythnig crazy going on

who’s dominant in bed?

  FELIX!! in the cute ‘i got this’ kind of way. Penny’s shy so definitely not her.

is head ever in the equation?

duh

if so, who is better at performing it?

felix has the charisma but i think penny has the technique

ever had sex in public?

 they did almost fuck in nate’s library 

who moans the most?

Penny!  Felix thinks its cute

who leaves the most marks?

FELIX LOVES HICKIES. hes sad that they don’t last super long on him, but she tries anyway.

who is the more experienced of the two?

I think they’re pretty even actually

do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?

latter

how long do they usually last?

im sure it varies

rough or soft?

soft!!

is protection used?

YES. penny is ON that shit. Though she wouldn’t be against having kids one day.

does it ever get boring?

nah they’re too cute and in gross cuddly love. Does felix look like he’d EVER get bored of the detective

where is the strangest place they’d have sex?

it didnt  happen but again, nates library. Penny was secretly kinda into it 

FAMILY.

do they plan on having children / do they have children?

 I don’t think either are seriously considering it for a while but Penny is a good 50/50 on it!

if so, how many children do they want/have?

just one, maybe two.

AFFECTION.

who likes to cuddle?

Felix! Penny’s a little more standoffish in general with physical affection, but she does love cuddling Felix. If he wants to cuddle she’s p much always down for it.

who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?

Felix. Have you heard what that boy says

who struggles to keep their hands to themself?

Felix! Though only in private. He know’s Penny’s shy and its cute to do it when shes working or something. He likes playfully distracting her.

how long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?

Probably for a good while, though Penny has a tendency to get antsy. Usually it just means her getting up and him happily following after her though

what is their favourite non-sexual activity?

video games! She showed him Animal Crossing and it was over

where is their favourite place to cuddle?

on the couch!

SLEEPING.

who snores?

Penny...

if both do, who snores the loudest?

Not loudly , but again penny.

do they share a bed or sleep separately?

they share a bed!

if they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?

depends!

what do they wear to bed?

Penny wears pj shorts and a cotton shirt, pretty simple. Felix is probs similar

are either of them insomniacs?

Penny DEFINITELY is. Thankfully Felix doesn’t sleep a lot so she’s rarely disturbing him!

can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?

YEP. Especially after book 1, she started having nightmares.

do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?

Felix is a koala.

who wakes up with bed hair?

Penny. Felix somehow always looks fucking perfect and she’d be jealous if she didn’t think it was so charming.

who wakes up first?

Penny. Even if Felix is just lazing about, she’s one of those responsible people or something.

who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?

Felix tried. keyword being tried. 

what is their favourite sleeping position?

Penny sleeps on her side and Felix clambers around either with one leg over her or spooning her usually.

do they set an alarm each night?

Penny does!

who has nightmares?

Both :(. Hard to tell with Felix how often for him

can a television be found in their bedroom?

Penny doesn’t have a TV

who has ridiculous dreams?

Felix for sure. Sometimes involving stuff pertaining to the Echo World and Penny is like ??? and he doesn’t know how to explain it.

who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?

Felix

who makes the bed?

Felix, because he insists. Penny goes back and straightens it out

what time is bed time?

 bed by 1

any routines/rituals before bed?

felix insists on brushing their teeth together bc he thinks its cute (penny does too). its how she first actually got a glimpse of his fangs

who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?

neither! though felix DOES complain.

WORK.

who is the busiest?

penny. felix is  busy keeping himself from dying of boredom

who rakes in the highest income?

n/a

are any of them unemployed?

n/a

who takes the most sick days?

Penny, though very rarely. She usually saves them for days where she wants to work from home because the office got too overwhelming.

what are their jobs?

Vampire Agent vs Police Detective

who sucks up to their boss?

 Felix tries to charm Rebecca. Rebecca just sighs.

who is more likely to turn up late to work?

Felix. Got distracted

who stresses the most?

PENNY. though she usually takes things in stride, she’s a little up tight.

do they enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?

Penny is fine with being a detective and doubly fine with being an agent.

are they financially stable?

yeah!

HOME.

who does the washing?

Penny. We know what Felix’s stance is on laundry considering he hides his socks in Mason’s hamper.

who takes out the trash?

Felix , and he acts like a hero

who does the ironing?

Penny! She wears nice clothes that definitely would require ironing. 

who does the cooking?

Penny is a serviceable cook, though she tends to cook the same things. And sometimes still eats like a (healthier) college student because she doesn’t have the energy. Felix LOVES using it as an excuse to order food.

who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?

Felix.

who is messier?

Felix. More just disorganized

who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?

Felix. Again, boy clearly hates laundry

who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?

Neither. Unless Felix yoinked the keys - then they could be anywhere.

who answers the telephone?

FELIX. First ring, always. 

who mows the lawn?

city slickers for life so neither

who does the vacuuming?

both. felix likes doing it and danciing

who does the groceries?

Penny because felix will bring back a bunch of things they didnt need

who takes the longest to shower?

Penny. She uses so much water

who spends the most time in the bathroom?

neither!

MISCELLANEOUS.

is money a problem?

nah theyre secret agents

how many cars do they own?

just penny’s little clunker

what’s their song?

waterfalls coming out your mouth // violet hour (especially this one) // sugar

do they live in the city or in the country?

small town

do they own their home or do they rent?

penny’s renting but wouldn’t be against owning a little flat somewhere

do they enjoy their surroundings?

wayhaven is home and comfortable for penny! she was actually falling out of love for it before she got promoted, now she feels protective over it and the supernaturals shes now aware live there.

what do they do when they’re away from each other?

felix goes insane waiting until they can meet up again. penny is often thinking abt him but is eager to get work done so she can do it even sooner

where did they first meet?

abandoned warehouse in book one - though the first meeting SHE remembers is him kissing her on the hand... romance...

who spends the most money when out shopping?

i feel they both are pretty similar! Theyre Fashionable, though Pennys really good at budgeting.

who’s more likely to flash their assets?

listen it doesnt happen in canon but if you do the combat training route with felix he fucking puts your hands up his shirt

any mental issues?

penny has anxiety and has been diagnosed as autistic since she was, like, 12. felix clearly has some shit he’s not letting himself fully mourn but OKAY BUDDY

who finds it amusing when the other trips over? 

penny laughs when felix trips just because he’s like a beautiful ragdoll and always ‘saves’ himself in really funny ways. felix is such a prince charming i think he’d see her tripping more as an excuse to be dashing and handsome at her and save her from face planting than laugh. 

who’s terrified of bugs?

penny definitely isn’t. could see felix losing his shit over a spider.

who kills the spiders around the house?

PENNY. doesn’t kill them though.

do they have any fears for their future?

Penny’s worried that loved ones might get put into danger due to ... everything. Verda found out about vampires and wasn’t hyped, so she’s worried about their friendship and his saftey most of all. She’s also worried about making ‘tough’ choices like the one at the end of book 2. It’s not a pleasant dilemma.

their favourite place?

Penny’s apartment!

who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?

felix FOR SURE

who pays the bills?

both, but penny set it all up on autopay bc felix would forget.

who’s the tallest?

Felix! He’s like what, 5′7-5′9? penny’s 5′3.

who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?

Both! Penny’s shy when doing it but she loves felix’s reaction because he’s always super excited.

who wanders around in their underwear?

neither

who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?

felix. duh

what do they tease each other about?

everything! penny teases felix over how energetic and goofy and ~suave~ he is. He teases penny over being bashful - but she actually teases him more! He teases her over ROMANTIC stuff.

who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?

Penny. The waistcoat, Felix. Why. No

who crushed first?

FELIX DIDDDDDDD. Penny got flustered but is very :/ at relationships bc she struggles socially and the only serious relationship she had prior was fucking BOBBY. So she straight up doesn’t trust that felix is being genuine at first. Also she’s a lil bit oblivious.

any alcohol or substance related problems?

nope!

who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?

neither

who swears the most?

probably felix, though I don’t think he swears a lot either?

#rosetxt #txt #long post #penny langford

[skizmin]

you’re my favourite constellation.

stargazing!au, friends to lovers with han jisung

(this giF IM SCREAMING CUTIE)

request from @straybin: Can I request a stray kids jisung friends to lovers star gazing au! Your aus are super sweet I loved the seungmin one!

(thank you so much ily 💝💓💖💕💞💘💗)

alright lets get straight into it

so youre a highschool student with an affinity for astrology, like, you love it

for your birthdays you get astrology books and maps and even once a really cool telescope!!

its just what you love, okay?

anyway, recently youd moved in with your cousin who lived alone and needed a roommate, plus it was closer to your school than your own home.

you parents practically shoved you in there with short notice (at least they were paying rent and grocery expenses) and you were like well okay

you didnt mind your cousin at all, but she can be a bit excitable and overbearing sometimes but you have to deal with it really

“dUDE i gotta show you something follow me”

you were unpacking when your cousin said this, you set down your telescope and followed her out the front door. your cousin lived in an apartment block basically, she was on the third story out of five. there was a very cute young family across the hall from you guys n stuff

anyway she kept going up and up these stairs and you were like where the fUck are we going im so tired

she laughed and said you were almost there and proceeded to push open a big heavy door

wow

you were in complete awe

in front of you was a massive open roof, the setting sun and the wide sky completely in view from all points, and when you looked up? oh my god it just seemed so clear

“you like stargazing dont you? youre allowed to come up here all you want as long as you dont make a ruckus yeah?”

you agreed, smiling W I D E and attacking your cousin in a hug

like,, two weeks later?

you still hadnt gone stargazing on the roof yet

on top of moving in and mid term school, it was a struggle to deal with so you just didnt have the time at the moment

untillll you had a falling out with a friend. it wasnt anything too serious but a few hurtful truths were said and the added stress of everything else going on, it was just overwhelming

so when you got home that afternoon, you packed a small box with your telescope, your notebook and pens, a couple of your astrology study books and two big blankets

then, after you made and ate dinner with your cousin, you made a big cup of hot chocolate (or coffee or tea or a moccha, whatever you prefer) and told your cousin you were going upstairs and youd probably be back late so youd take a key in case she was asleep

your cousin agreed and watched you balance the massive mug and your box in your hands and also the two big pillows you spontaneously grabbed as you walked out

arriving on the roof, you laid everything out, not bothering to set up your telescope just yet and you sat back sipping your hot drink

you didnt know when you started to cry but it happened, and soon enough you where silent sobbing on your own letting out a few sniffles here and there. life was just too busy and overwhelming at the moment

it was about half an hour later when you stopped sobbing, you were still crying, wiping your tears from your face every minute or so, this was when the door to the roof opened and shut

you thought it would just be your cousin so you stayed still and aited for her to find you and comfort you

the the felt a foot hit your thigh and heard a whisper shout of “hoLY FUCK”

you sat up, hastily wiping your tears as you tried to see the dark figure in front of you, they had turned on their torch and were now shining it directly into your eyes

“i am so sOrry i didnt even see you there, were you sleeping? oh god i cant believe i just almost stepped on you- wait? are you crying? oh my god”

it was some sort of god in front of you, you were sure. perfectly tanned skin, gorgeous doe like eyes, soft cheeks and pink lips. you were pretty much mesmerised, even as he crouched down in front of you

“hey, im sorry. i really didnt mean it its just dark out, are you okay? i didnt hurt you did i?”

he sounded so unbelievably guilty that you felt bad, snapping out of it you responded with a choked out “im sorry, im fine, its okay!”

the boy in front of you smiled out of relief, eyes lingering on you before looking at the set-up around you

“im jisung, i live on 2nd floor. i havent seen you around before, i didnt know we had new neighbours”

he looked at you and tilted his head in confusion, his eyebrows furrowing and his lips set in a slight pout. your heartbeat involuntarily picked up at the sight

“oh! im uh- im y/n, i just moved in with my cousin y/c/n, she lives on third floor...” you awkwardly and shyly looked down to the ground, hastily tidying up the mess of notebooks and your hot drink as he replied

“oh! y/c/n! i know her, shes really nice. how old are you? you look a bit younger than her honestly” his brows furrowed further and he smiled lightly when you looked up at him, he was still crouching in front of you

“oh, im 17, she lives closer to my school than my parents and she needed a housemate, so here i am!” you laughed really nervously and looked down at your fingers again

jisung smiled to himself, ah, theyre cute

“oh, im the same age then!” he laughed before looking away slightly, asking the difficult question, “are you sure youre okay? you look like youve been crying,”

dread crushed your chest, he’d seen you crying, this was really embarassing for you

“oh nothing! i was just- uh, i was just a bit stressed is all” you held your breath, hoping jisung wouldnt pry any further, you really didnt want to talk about it

he laughed good heartedly, “ah yeah, we all get a bit like that sometimes. what are you doing up here though? its freezing, are you studying or something? waiT IS THAT A TELESCOPE?!”

it was your turn to laugh, this kid was really positive and seemed to know how to take a hint

“im stargazing! my cousin said i could come up here but, if you need to roof then dont worry ill go down its no porblem”

you looked at his face this time as you spoke and oh my god stop smiling at me like that 

“stargazing? thats so cool! dont worry, i only came up here for some fresh air, my housemates are a bit loud. so what, do you just look at the stars and planets or?” he finally sat dwn next to you. “can you show me a constellation?”

you giggled and nodded, you whole body tingling because of the close proximity of your bodies and the idea of the stereo-typically romantic thing you were about to do. “we need to lay back okay?”

you laid back, he followed, his head was lost to to yours and his hands rested on his stomach, he turned his head to look at you

m i s t a k e

you didnt turn to him. you were bright red at the feel of his breath fanning across your face you kept your head straight on the sky

“now what?” he softly whispered it to you, your stomach violently dipped and your heart practically stopped

youre all “uhhhh uh- well, uh, you just um- see that sorta diamond of stars over there? and then it sorta uh, has a triangle on top?”

jisung follows your line of eyesight and tries to focs on specific stars that make out the shape, he sees it “oH! i see it!”

“yeah, thats lyra, its a harp basically.”

jisung squints and you lightly turn your head to him, not fully, just enough to see his face. “oh, it does look like a harp i guess, whys it there?”

“it represents the lyre of orpheus, who was a greek poet and musician, he was killed though...”

“wow, thats sad but also so cool...” jisungs phone buzzes, you see its a message from someone called minho, asking where he is

“crap, y/n, ive gotta go but um. i really liked talking to you and im really interested in the stars now, it seems like theyve all got stories. would you mind teaching me again sometime?”

he was scratching the back of his neck awkwardly

“oh! um- yeah of course i will, i mean, yeah definitely!”

you realised you didnt have his phone, so you couldnt really get your number for him

he saw you looking and spoke up “uh, maybe just next time, um, come and grab me? my apartment is number 6, im almost always there if im not at school really. just, whenever youre going up and you feel like some company, come knock on the door or something?”

you smiled, the thought made you nervous but you did want to see jisung again. “okay, of course.”

he smiled brightly at you, you cursed your heart again, “great! ill get going then, dont stay for too long okay? youll get a cold.” he stood up and waved to you

“bye jisung!” you call out softly as he walks away

you leave not long after he left, it felt boring on your own suddenly. you didnt even remember youd been crying at all, it felt like a massive weight was lifted off of your shoulders.

you slept so easily that night, dreaming of the stars and jisung.

a week and a half later? it was a friday night 

you were packing your box to go stargazing again when you remembered jisung, you wanted to bring him along with you. he might be busy, but you packed an extra couple of blankets and soem pillows and placed them just inside your door before you went downstairs to go and get him

you were so nervous as you knocked on the door, preparing for utter embarrassment. the door opened up tho

“oh, youre not the complex owner thank god.” you were greeted by someone possibly younger than you, he had reddish hair and a sweet smile. “how can i help you?’

you tried to block out the screeches coming from inside the apartment, you could hear about five voices screaming at once “im uh, im y/n, im from upstairs? i was wondering if jisung was here at all?”

he smirked, like he knew something you didnt. “sure one sec, im seungmin by the way.” he turned away from you and screamed into the apartment “jiSUNG, SOMEONES HERE FOR YOU, HURRY UP.” 

“coMING!!” was heard throughout the apartment followed by a “fELiX gEt ofF Of mE” and seungmin smiled awkwardly at you before a head popped past the wall into the entrance way

“oh! y/n! you came!” he tried to walk over to the door but you noticed a body dragging on his legs.

“jiSUNG PLEASE DO MY CHORES FOR ME.” the boy yelled at jisungs feet

seungmin laughed, looking at you saying “ill leave you to it” before jogging over to a tangled up jisung and who you presumed was felix and tearing felix from jisungs body, dragging him away

“uh, sorry about that, hes lazy and pathetic.” jisung laughed, so did you

“i was just wondering if you were free? i was about to go up to the roof..”

jisung smiled brightly, “of course, let me get my coat and phone.”

once he was ready you two went up to your apartment, you told him to come in and wait a bit while you made him a hot drink of hit choice, then you grabbed some pillows and your box and you both walked up the remaining flights of stairs to the roof

it was the beginning of a tradition really, youd go down and grab him, his housemates would call for him as soon as the saw you, before he left theyd whisper things into his ear that made him blush but you simply shrugged it off

after about two months of going up to the roof together, you admitted to yourself that you liked him

a lot

you liked his smile, his voice, how he was endlessly making you happy, you liked he warmth of when hed lie next to you and the way he’d rest a hand on your lower back, guiding you up the stairs. you liked his goodbye hugs and the way he’d hold your hands the one week you couldnt find your gloves. you liked how he was so interested in the stars like you, but you considered giving up looking at the sky to simply look into his eyes because they held galaxies within them. you liked the way he’d whisper your name to check if you were awake and the gentle touch of his fingertips when he brushed your hair out of your eyes

you liked him so much, you couldnt deny it. it crushed you in a way, you thought he would never like you back, and you increasingly got more nervous and drifted away bit by bit

one night, you were up on the roof and jisung sighed loudly, you asked him what was wrong

“can i rant a little bit? please?” jisung had puppy eyes as he sat up and looked at you, you sat up as well and nodded for him to go on

“ah, this is hard,” he started before looking at the pot plants next to your set up that were the centrepiece of the rooftop, 

“i um, basically i like this uh, this person right? i like them as more than a friend,” your heart clenched and dropped to your stomach. oh. this was heart break. “we’ve been friends for a while and i thought, well, yeah i thought id been quite obvious with my feelings. i hoped that their shyness was them maybe reciprocating my feelings but? maybe not. lately theyve just-”

jisung huffed and looked up at you again, your heart got caught in your throat, you could see he was nervous about telling someone about his crush and he looked sad talking about the unfortunate circumstances

“theyve been distancing themselves from me. they flinch away we i try to be more affectionate and- and they just dont seem like they like me anymore. not even in a romantic way, in a friend way. and im just upset i guess. ive never ever liked someone this much before, every night im filled with these feelings of just wanted to cuddle with them and take them on dates and hold their hands and- and kiss them. the whole package. it hurts, y/n. why dont they like me?”

the sad feeling you was feeling showed in your voice as you replied. “youre a great person jisung, theyd be an idiot not to like you, seriously. i cant think of someone more deserving of love than you.” you tried to nervously look into his eyes

“then why dont they like me y/n? no one ever likes me.” he was still looking down onto the ground

“i like you jisung.” 

oh no

oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no W O R D   V O M I T

you clenched your eyes shut, your heart was beating rapidly, you cant believe you just said that when hed just been speaking about liking someone else. you wanted to cry, to bury yourself alive, anything to get out of that situation.

“really? what?” he snapped his head up, staring at you wide eyed and shocked

“nevermind jisung, forget i said it, i didnt mean to make it awk-”

jisung cupped your cheeks, you felt his warm palms and cool fingertips before you felt his lips, slightly chapped yet soft

your mind was going crazy, you barely managed to move your lips along with jisungs before he parted away, still holding your cheeks and smiling widely

“out of all the stars in this world, youre the brightest y/n.”

you died inside before realising he liked you, all the things he said earlier were about you

jisungs eyes were hopeful, happy, loving, especially when you smiled at him so purely

“jisung, kiss me again.”

and he did, pulling you into his lap and letting you tangle your fingers into his hair

he even kissed you outside your apartment, giggling in happiness and tugging you into his body before saying goodbye

jisung couldnt remember a time he’d been this happy, and honestly, neither could you.

finish!! hope you liked it omg

#jisung #han jisung #stray kids #jisung fluff #han jisung fluff #stray kids fluff #jisung imagine #han jisung imagine #stray kids imagine #stray kids scenarios #han jisung scenarios #jisung scenarios #stray kids imagines #bang chan #chan #chris bang #woojin #kim woojin #minho #lee minho #changbin #seo changbin #han #han fluff #han imagines #han scenarios #hyunjin #hwang hyunjin #lee felix #felix

[avasilvugh]

what was pregnancy/childbirth/going home for the first time like with finn vs. maia? how about what it was like to take stella home for the first time? how did each kid adjust to their new sibling(s) when maia/stella came home? i'm such a sucker for Brand New Baby headcancons lol

me, rubbing my hands together evilly bc my friend u dont understand, i have been waiting for a sucker just like u bc I AM SUCH A SUCKER FOR BRAND NEW BABY HCS AS WELL, HERE ARE MINE FOR THE SUPERBABIES

so like the pregnancies were highly planned, no surprises or anything and results were waited on with equal excitement bc like????  holy shit theyre doing this????  and HOLY SHIT IT WORKED?????  

but like……once the initial excitement died down a little, lena starts to worry a lot??  and i mean this is particular to finn, bc like with maia it was more??  ok i kind of know what im doing, but with finn she had no experience, nothing to go off of.  like she can hardly remember her birth mother and lillian was terrible so like….its not as if she has any model for how to be a mother and she’s not sure she’s really thought this through.  like she likes kids well enough??  thinks theyre cute and isnt uncomfortable around them, actually is quite good with them and babies love her almost as much as they love kara, but this will be different, this isnt just holding jess’s niece when they’re at the company picnic, this will be a baby that comes home with them, this will be their baby, their kid to screw up and that’s terrifying???  holy shit

meanwhile kara is like??  so excited oh my god.  she’s so pumped and so loving and she feels like she’s overwhelmed in the best way, where her heart feels really full and she knows that when the baby gets here it’ll just spill over in the best way and she cant wait for it.  and she fusses over lena, moves her schedule around specifically to allow her to drop by l-corp a couple times a day to bring lena lunch or a snack, and she’s like the ultimate partner u know like she keeps the fridge stocked with whatever lena’s craving, always goes to every doctor appointment and childbirth classes, never grumbles when lena wakes her up bc her back is aching or she’s starving all of a sudden or she can’t sleep and the baby is in a weird position.  she puts together all the furniture for the nursery, is That expectant parent that spends a lot of time in the baby section of target, brings home probably more clothes than a single baby can wear.  she’s so excited???  like……how to explain this hmmm…  okay so we know how much kara loves her family, right??  bc she loves them a lot, she rlly does and its not at all that she wishes for biological family or something but theres like a certain…..pull??  i guess??  like this baby is equal parts her and lena, and she has this image in her head, like what if their baby looks like her or more like lena, what if their kid has her mother’s eyes or her father’s strong chin.  like?  she gets to see krypton live on, is what it boils down to.  she gets to see her family and her community and her planet alive and well in the little heartbeat they hear, in the grainy image on the screen at the ultrasound

the pregnancy itself is actually rlly smooth??  and like, when lena’s not terrified, she rlly enjoys it and like knows how lucky she is, like her morning sickness is p tame and only lasts the first couple months.  and like??  its not that she dislikes being pregnant or doesnt want the baby, she very much does, she already loves this little thing growing inside her so so much, just on the basis of it being a piece of kara, she’s just worried she’s not good enough, that she wont ever be able to be good enough to be this child’s mother.  but she just tries not to think about whats going to happen at the end of this, focuses on the way her heart skips when she feels those first flutters of movement or the way the tension slips out of kara’s shoulders the moment she gets home, the moment she can hear their child’s heartbeat.  they were never rlly an out on the town sort of couple, spent most nights tucked up at home, but now even more so bc lena gets tired at like eight at night, so most nights they’re on the couch or lying in bed, kara resting her head on lena’s lil bump, talking to the baby in her mother tongue, telling them all about this great world they’re going to get to see.  when lena’s lil bump turns into a big bump, then its usually them cuddled up on the couch with lena leaning back against kara’s chest, head on her shoulder as she dozes and kara’s tracing out the kryptonian alphabet on lena’s belly and its warm and the cats are snoozing nearby and there’s a stack of baby clothes in the laundry basket on the floor and a half assembled rocking chair in the nursery and its just??  good????

overall its rlly good like there’s some bad moments, some breakdowns along the way.  like it kind of scares lena a little how much she loves this little thing that??  doesnt??  even???  exist yet????  like she cant hold them, cant see them, but god, she already knows she’d do anything for them.  and kara has a few moments where she breaks down as well, where she cant remember a kryptonian word or the details of something she thought she remembered are a little fuzzy and god, what if she cant??  what if she isnt able to pass along her history, her culture?  what if she has this opportunity and she fails, again?

and they’re both so soft with each other, kara picks up on lena’s worry and lena picks up on kara’s and they try their best for each other, they do their best to help even when they’re struggling with their own things and lena tries to learn kryptonian and like….listen, she’s not great at it at first (particularly with pregnancy brain making everything a little fuzzy), but her accent isn’t terrible and she learns the basic vocabulary, enough so that she can confidently say she’ll be of some use in teaching their child to speak the language along with english.  kara buys all the parenting books lena glances at, sits up at night with her to read them, finds a mothers day card even though it fucking january and tucks it into lena’s bag for her to find and tear up over, talks about how lucky their kiddo is that they’ll have lena as a mom as if its the most natural thing to say

towards the later part of lena’s pregnancy, when they’re getting closer to the due date and lena’s getting uncomfortably pregnant and nothing’s fitting very well, not even the maternity dresses that kara finally convinced her to buy around month seven, kara kind of becomes a worrywart.  like she’s been v protective of lena the entire time but now??  anytime lena shifts or sighs or rubs her back, kara’s like WHAT IS IT, IS IT TIME, DO WE NEED TO GO and has like most of their stuff loaded up into the car, ready to go before lena’s has a chance to be like ……kara im ridiculously pregnant, im just uncomfortable, love its fine i promise

that said,, then she’s overdue and even more uncomfortable but the fear has set back in??  and she goes into labor p early in the morning, doesnt say anything abt it bc she doesnt want it to happen, not now, but kara seems to sense it, sticks a lot closer to lena than normal, even for overprotective post-due date.  and then lena’s water breaks???  and she’s crying????  and kara’s like holy shit okay but they dont have time to rlly do anything to talk through it, barely have time to get to the hospital before lenas like……in Active Labor, like ready to push active labor and there’s no time to get an epidural, but luckily she doesnt rlly need one??  she’s in pain, but its not as bad as some things she’s endured, but she’s still crying, begging for this baby to stay put, dont move, i’m not ready and kara’s crying bc she’s split between being heartbroken for her wife and being so so excited to her their child

and then finn’s there, crying loud enough to be heard over lena’s sobbing, kara’s assurances and kara looks at him and is so in love???  she’s so in love, he’s so beautiful, she tells lena as much as she gets to cut the cord and some little part of her knits back together when she helps lay finn on lena’s chest, watches as lena’s eyes clear, brows relax, watches as that same love kara feels dawns in lena’s eyes and its so much???  its too much, but its so good????

and everything is still so good for a while!!!!!  like the few days in the hospital, they’re just kind of in a blissed out stage where nothing is fazing them like......family comes to visit, theres four emails from snapper sitting in kara’s inbox, clark comes by and is visibly uncomfortable but they literally dont give two shits like look at this thing we made!!!!!!!  look at him, he’s beautiful and he’s got all ten fingers and all ten toes and look, he looks bald but he’s just rlly blond!!!!!!!  like.........they are just so in love???  

but then they go home and its different bc there isnt anyone to help them and for kara its like....idk its sort of like she’s super duper aware of her powers when she’s out in the world, like hyperaware and vigilant, but she’s used to being able to relax a little at home??  and now there’s this tiny fragile nonpowered as far as they know baby that is depending solely on her and lena for everything and suddenly she’s like shit i’m going to hurt him oh my god i Did Not think this through and then she like refuses to hold finn except under very specific conditions like sitting down, pillow in her lap to support him from below and lena’s a bit too wrapped up in finn to rlly like register this fact, a little too tired and sore and in love to do much more than notice her wife’s hesitance 

and its not as if kara’s like......//avoiding anything to do with finn.  like she’s still v much in love and wants to be around him, she just doesnt trust herself??  so she’ll still get up when finn’s crying at night, sits up with lena when she nurses him, gets lena whatever she needs during the day and overall does her absolute best 

lena brings it up to alex finally, one night when she and maggie come over to coo over finn and kara’s run out to pick up dinner.  lena and alex have grown a lot closer since lena started hanging out with the superfriends, alex sort of spotting that quiet sadness within a few minutes of having an actual conversation with lena and subconsciously sorting her into the same category of annoying psuedo-sibling that she had winn.  and by this point??  alex is basically as much a big sister to lena as she is to kara, defends her as vehemently as she does kara.  so lena goes to her with this, asks if kara’s said anything about not feeling comfortable or being afraid and alex is like ??  no, whats going on and then lena tells her everything she’s noticed, tells her the guilt she feels for not knowing how to help but she’s exhausted, like that new parent bone deep exhausted 

so alex corners kara just a little, calls her down to the deo for a fake emergency and then locks them into one of the training rooms bc she knows kara, knows she wont admit to anything when lena’s around, knows that she’ll keep trying to uphold this facade that she’s doing okay bc she doesnt want to stress her wife out.  and karas been sitting with this feeling for nearly two weeks??  basically since they went home, so there’s not much prodding alex has to do to get it out of her bc she’s exhausted too, is crying within a few minutes of talking tbh

alex hugs her for a long time, until she stops crying eventually and is like??  i dont have easy answers for you and i wish i did, but kara, you’re not going to hurt him and she keeps repeating it, keeps telling kara that she knows her probably better than anyone and she knows that she’s never going to do anything to hurt the people she cares about and kara’s thinking about red k and alex knows it so she just tightens her hold on kara’s shoulders and leans down a little to catch her eye and she’s like kara, this is your son and its like oh.  my son.  i have a son.  and suddenly kara’s crying again but more from good emotion??  like i have a child and i haven’t been holding him 24/7????  I GOTTA GO ALEX

so kara goes home and lena’s just getting up to get finn bc he’s starting to fuss a little and kara just gently pushes her back into bed and goes to get finn, picks him up and feels something settle when he quiets, looks up at her with big blue eyes that aren’t her color, not exactly, is something closer to her mother’s.  finn settles against her, one of his little hands sort of grasping at the fabric of her shirt, holding on and kara’s so???  overwhelmed???  and she promises him that she’ll be the best she can be for him, promises that she’ll never let harm come to him, that she’s going to keep him so safe and at some point she switches from english to kryptonian (kryptonese??), starts promising all sorts of things, starts promising that he’ll never be alone, that he’ll never be scared and lost and left on his own in a strange place, that she’ll never send him away, not without lena, not without her

lena hears it over the baby monitor but doesnt say anything when kara comes back into the room, having lulled finn back to sleep with a lullaby her mother used to sing to her.  she just pulls kara closer and they doze like that for a while and everything feels calm, settled for once

and then !!!!!  they’re just deliriously happy like finn is a rlly easy baby, doesnt fuss a lot, basically sleeps through the night from the beginning and is essentially the Perfect Newborn.  like they’re just??  so? ??  happy ?????  like lena has what is essentially unlimited maternity leave considering she can conduct a fair amount of work from home and catco gives rlly generous leave for all new parents so kara’s able to stay home for a long time, so they get to just sort of live in this wonderful little bubble for basically the first 4-5 months of his life and even after they sort of start transitioning back to work, its still rlly great??

like they do the mommy and me yoga and switch off weekends, kara takes him to swim lessons, they do walks in the park when it starts getting warmer out and like.......love showing finn off.  like he’s adorable and chubby and is rlly calm and smiley and like??  they’re so proud of him, they love him so much oh my god

UNDER THE CUT bc i always keep crying, im such a sucker for new babies

everything is a little harder with maia??  like it takes a little longer for it to work and when it does its immediately a completely different experience.  later on theyll think its probably bc maia manifests her powers a lot earlier, so maybe that’s what it was??  like she’s drawing more nutrients and stuff so that’s why lena’s so exhausted through the pregnancy but basically lena’s essentially bedridden for the first four and a half months with maia, either napping or feeling too nauseous to do anything.  once she hits five months, things get a little easier??  she’s still v tired a lot, but they think that that might just be bc they’ve got more to juggle, like she’s keeping up with a toddler and l-corp is acquiring a new subsidiary halfway across the world that she’s having to oversee from national city

kara worries abt her a lot in a different way from how she worried during finn’s pregnancy??  like this pregnancy takes a bit more of a physical toll and there’s a few complications, like lena develops gestational hypertension (her blood pressure, while achingly normal usually, stays high from the beginning) and her ankles just fuckn disappear and she just feels Bad through most of the pregnancy even though there isnt that emotional angst like there was with finn.  so bc of that, kara sticks p close through the whole pregnancy, is a lot less willing to take assignments that keep her away from home v long, gets v efficient when it comes to supergirl duties

but like??  stress aside, its a rlly cool experience for them bc finn’s around two and understands enough that he points to lena’s belly and says baby, likes to hug and kiss her tummy and its the Cutest thing in the world, like they have so many pics of finn being so sweet and like reading one of his picture books to lena’s belly.  and like??  lena gets to enjoys the pregnancy more bc she’s not as scared, not as petrified that she’s going to fuck up somehow, now that she kind of knows what she’s doing, now that she has a shining, grinning little boy that is like proof that she’s sort of good at this motherhood thing

so u know how lena’s blood pressure is high through the whole pregnancy??  well.  that’s not a throwaway fact pals.  she develops preeclampsia and gets induced nearly three weeks before her due date and like in the lead up to that, it’s rlly chaotic and scary like lena gets a migraine (and she usually gets those??  like that’s not uncommon but she didnt have any during her pregnancy with finn and she hasnt had any leading up to this one with maia) and goes to sleep it off and wakes up short of breath and like??  it just feels wrong, something feels off and calls kara at work and is like something’s not right and kara just flat out panics, drops all her shit and races home and lena’s kind of out of it and its terrifying??  its fucking terrifying and kara’s like fuck this, flies finn to the nearest superfriend for babysitting (it happens to be winn, who startles out of dozing at his computer screen to see little finn danvers grinning from the chair next to him, with a fully packed bag and a note pinned to it telling winn that kara will call soon) and she flies lena to the hospital, giving zero actual fucks about anything other than whether lena and the baby are okay

and it gets kind of crazy after that???  like kara barely has time to call the rest of their family and friends before things are like Moving and, again, there’s not enough time for an epidural but this time lena’s in a lot more pain, like this birth is awful, it rlly is, like lena’s out of it and in way more pain than she was with finn and kara’s scared shitless and their baby comes out quiet??  like no crying, no screaming, just utter silence and lena sort of collapses back on the bed and starts crying and kara’s not even able to get a good look at their kiddo with all the nurses working over em

and then the baby’s like screeching and one of the nurses hands her to kara with a smile and says here’s your little girl, mama and kara’s just like.......entranced and this little baby is so much like finn but so different already and she looks over at lena and beams and lena relaxes immediately, lets out this deep breath and kara’s like we have a daughter, lena and lena sort of sighs happily well let me see her and kara puts maia on lena’s chest, helps lena unbutton the top of her gown and unswaddle maia so she can rest against lena’s skin, feel her heartbeat and they’re so immediately happy???  like all the scary stuff, all the pain is immediately written over with this feeling, with maia’s little hand pressing right over lena’s heart and her eyes locked on kara

and then when things calm down and they’ve had a little time to collect themselves, for lena to get cleaned up a little, finn comes in and is so immediately taken with his little sister, like his eyes get wide and he’s got this small little smile and he’s so gentle without being told, sort of reverently reaches out to hold maia’s tiny little hand in his own and he goes my baby in this soft little voice and he crawls up in kara’s lap and asks if he can hold his baby and kara helps him and lena asks a nurse to grab her phone bc like.......why not get this moment on film.  why not capture her family all tucked into one chair like the most adorable nesting dolls

it’s maybe her lock screen for like six months

when they go home, it’s a little bit of an adjustment period??  not in the same way as it was with finn but in that now they’ve got two little kids with wildly different needs, like finn sleeps through the night mostly but has nightmares that he’ll need to be comforted from and maia wakes up a lot but more just??  wants to be near her moms???  like she doesnt cry so much as just stay awake until one of them check her and pull the bassinet closer to their bed

and for lena there’s a bit of worry over having a daughter??  bc its not that its all that much different than having a son rlly, she knows that and she’s the first to advocate raising children the same, but as a daughter of lillian luthor, as a daughter who lost her birth mother when she was young, but not young enough to completely forget her, as a daughter that has never had a solid maternal figure that supported her in her life, lena’s a little terrified of having a daughter??  worried that somehow, someway, she’ll ruin her

but it fades quickly??  like she and kara have always been v attuned to one another but since having finn, it’s just deepened??  so kara catches on quickly, talks to her about it one night when the kiddos are asleep and reminds lena that she’s a good mom, that finn adores her and so does maia already, its obvious 

mostly the adjustment is about just juggling the two kiddos, making sure finn doesnt feel left out and they work out a p good system, make sure to include him in basically everything

and finn!!!!  loves his baby sister so so much oh my god, he likes to drag his coloring pack into maia’s room when she’s napping.  like his moms will go looking for him and he’ll just be curled up in the comfy rocker in maia’s room, quietly coloring and he’ll shush them if he thinks they’re making too much noise and its the cutest thing ever, like he doesnt have the words for it but he just loves maia so much, wants to protect her and make sure she’s happy all the time

so its kind of wildly different with stella, bc like???  they thought they were done having kids??  mostly bc the experience with maia’s birth was so terrifying, like when they finally had a minute to process what all had happened it was like.......shit, lena could have died, maia could have died and it made them p hesitant to try for another kid, like??  they’re happy with two!!  and if they decide they want to expand their family, they’re v strongly pro-adoption so that’s probably the route they’ll go and that’s all nice and settled but then, well

kara gets a supergirl call at like six in the morning and she rolls out of bed, handles the issue and is on her way home when she glances down and sees something a lil shady down on the pier.  it’s probably eight or nine by now??  the sun’s up, but its winter so its still gray in the city, still feels pre-dawn and kara flies a little closer, sees a man on a pier and hears two heartbeats, his and one that’s weaker, faster, quieter, so she alerts alex and touches down and the man seems almost relieved to see her even as he moves closer to the edge and she tells him to stay, for his baby--because it has to be a baby, kara’s gotten too good at recognizing little heartbeats for it not to be, but the man just smiles sadly, says she’s not like me, i can’t love her right and just as the deo pulls up, the man jumps off into the bay and kara flies after him but he’s just......gone??  just gone.  nowhere to be found.  his heartbeat is indistinguishable from the roar of the ocean, kara can’t see him anywhere but kara can still hear that smaller one, and she hesitates for a moment before flying back up, touching down by the car and opening the door before the agent nearest her can tell her not to.  and theres???  this tiny little baby????  like barely strapped into the carseat, in just a diaper and kara’s like?????  immediately protective.  like the diaper’s obviously been put on by someone that’s never changed a baby before and she fixes that first, unclips her cape to wrap the baby up second, holds the baby close and turns around with this wide eyed look at alex third and alex’s like......well this is happening huh

and she’s?????  so small????  god she’s so small and kara’s heart twists and twists and alex calls out an address to her and it’s not far from the port and kara’s flies low, flies fast but she doesnt even get to the little apartment before she can tell, before she can hear the utter lack of life.  she lands just outside, looks up, looks through, sees the body in the bed, not moving not breathing and she looks down at this little baby in her arms, still sleeping and she just??  has a minor blackout tbh (metaphorically ofc) like she’s not sure what her exact thought process was but suddenly she’s at l-corp and the baby is still sleeping and she touches down, opens the balcony door gently and steps in and lena’s looking up, eyebrows raised until she notices the bundle in kara’s arms and like???  she doesnt Know, but she knows whats happening, knows its big and important and so she drops the papers she was working on, pads over and looks up at kara for a breath, then down at the baby and its like oh.  shit.  this is our baby now, isnt it

and kara starts explaining, starts speaking, rambling, falling over her words bc the gravity of what’s happened has just sort of landed??  it’s taken a beat but god she just watched a man kill himself, just watched this child be orphaned and its like??  she needs lena to understand.  she needs her to know why this is so important, but like??  lena’s already there, same page.  she’s looking at this little tiny child and deciding that she’ll probably be able to actually get some use out of maia’s newborn stuff, considering maia outgrew the clothes within a month.  like???  she looks nothing like finn or maia did as babies, is so much smaller and has this head full of dark hair, these dark eyes when she blinks them open to look up at lena, at kara, but she fits, you know??  its like kara and lena look at her and just like.....recognize her.  like she’s always been meant for them

and then kara’s just.......out of things to say, like she’s said everything she can and she’s just sort of looking down at the baby and so is lena and then lena’s asking can i hold ....her? and kara’s nodding, her, she confirms, letting lena slip the baby out of her arms and she’s just like lena, she’s and breaks off, throat closing and lena’s just nodding, smiling down at the baby and smoothing down the little cowlick in her hair.  i think maia’s old bassinet is still in the basement, she says and that’s that

the kids dont even question it??  like finn was young enough when maia was born that he doesnt even remember her coming home, she’s just sort of always been around as far as he remembers and maia doesnt have any sort of context for it, and rlly it doesnt matter??  like they crowd around lena when kara calls them over and finn promises then and there he’s going to be the best big brother and maia’s just staring all wide eyed at this little baby, decided that she’s going to keep her so safe bc she’s her little sister and the only other big sister she knows very well is aunt alex and aunt alex helps keep mama safe every day so.  logic, ya know

there is a bit more jealousy tho??  more from maia than from finn, bc she goes from being the baby to the middle child and like kara and lena are rlly good abt splitting their time equally, but there’s like??  more to do with stella, like they dont know anything rlly abt her background and they dont know why she’s not putting on weight and they dont know whether she’s just colicky or if there’s something they need to be worried about??  and its scarier too bc its all so normal ???  like they did all the tests for finn and maia, knew they had kara’s immune system, knew they didnt have to worry abt shit like whooping cough but like they do have to worry abt that with stella, its sort of like having a first baby all over again??  like there’s a lot of new experiences they’ve never had to think about before so there’s a little bit of jealousy from maia, but literally just a little, just like a couple temper tantrums bc kara says they cant play uno unless maia uses her inside voice, or bc lena can’t come see the picture she drew right that second bc she’s trying to get stella down for a nap

but they handle it rlly well??  like they each take a day with maia and finn, separately so they dont feel like they’re just getting lumped together, go and do whatever they feel like doing and do that ridiculously Good Mom thing where they each explain that, yeah, they’re having to spend a little more time with the new baby but they love them all the same, all equally and that they can pick something to do with their moms each month

that tradition actually sticks around!  like each kiddo picks a Thing to do with their moms, like finn favors the aquarium and maia likes to go to movies and stella usually just asks to go out to breakfast at noonans tbh (listen she is.........so much like kara sometimes)

so while finn and maia adjust p well, its not all smooth sailing.  like??  finn and maia were such easy babies!!  like SUCH easy babies, they rlly lucked the fuck out with them but stella???  oh god stella is such a difficult baby.  not like??  not like super-difficult??  but she cries a lot and the only time she rlly calms down is when kara or lena holds her and sometimes it not even full screaming crying, just quiet little whimpering that just like........breaks her moms’ hearts.  she also gets sick a lot??  lots of colds and stomach bugs and she doesnt put on a lot of weight for the first several months, like consistently on the low end of healthy.  like??  its all new territory for them, bc they never??  rlly??  worried abt finn and maia like this??  they never rlly had to

listen they heave a collective sigh of relief when their doctor tells them that she’s moved into the fortieth percentile for her age range like what????  she’s doing okay???????

anyway.  i’m crying

#supergirl #supercorp #kara danvers #lena luthor #superbabies #catch me reblogging these in the morning #i've been working on this for like four days omfg #anonymous #human interaction

[gayleefiora]

also earlier i had heard you correct yourself and call b your ex-girlfriend which made me smile cuz last week you said girlfriend a couple times and it freaked me out but this is the first time i’ve heard you say ‘ex’ and it was a relief.

so we go to the bus stop and i make you keep walking bc theres people at all the bus stops and im like UGH. i take your hand but its a little awkward so i try to pull it away but you wont let me bc you know i want to touch and we do a little hand dance and then let go and its nice. then as soon as we get there the bus is coming. and im quite frustrated and youre like do you want to get on? and i’m like, i want you to take care of your business but also NO i don’t i dont want it to be here this soon but... what do you want? and the bus is coming and you’re like uhhhh and im like now or never dude and youre like no. dont take it. lets hang out a little longer and im like good. yes. bc thats all i want in that moment. 

so we walk and come eventually to volunteer park and you tell me that’s where you buried your other rat. we walk for a bit. im exhausted, like i havent felt so tired/happy/confused/heartbroken/heartfull/vulnerable in a long time. i just want to go to the dark. so i collapse by a tree and you collapse next to me and we’re already touching so i know its okay. i just turn to you and bury my face in the crook of your shoulder and then its too much and i want to hold you like i do at night when i think of you. and i do. you stretch your arm around me and we just breathe and you hold me. i feel so safe and comfortable and like slightly relaxed for the first time in hours, maybe all day. and we just do that for a while. you hold me and the energy shifts eventually so i switch and hold you so you can feel safe and comfortable and taken care of. and you want it. you want to be held by me. you run your fingers through my hair so soft but firm and i feel so loved. i rub your shoulder and put my fingers deep in your hair and its so thick and beautiful just like mine. your hand is curled on top of your shoulder and one arm is slung across me and when i brush your hand you grasp for me and so i hold your hand while we lay curled together, mostly silent, in the dark. 

you say i dont want to move and i say i dont either. eventually youre like ‘i really dont want to get up. but i have to’ and im like i know its okay. lets try a practice run and you dont move and neither do i. we move closer somehow and i bury my face in your hair. but eventually you do get up and i do too and its okay. we walk back to the bus stop, not touching. 

we get to the bus stop and it comes v soon but before it comes for some reason we’re talking about raccoons. there’s a ladder and you say raccoon ladder? and i say nah, they’re too heavy. but then i remember theyre hella smart and fast and i tell you about jes and the raccoons and the lake. and youre cracking up even tho you don’t know her and i love you for it. and i need to tell you, have been meaning to tell you for a while. so we see the bus and you reach out your arms and i fall into them. and i say ‘i love you’ in the real way and you say ‘i love you too.’ 

you sort of let me go but not really. i hear/feel you kiss the top of my head. you don’t want to let go. i look at your face and its so beautiful and cute and shining with love and i say like a little kid ‘bye raccoon’ and you say bye. get home safe. i’ll see you soon. sweet dreams and i say sweet dreams for you too. and get on the bus which is gross and full of fuckin weirdos but im not focused on that. bc i am focused on this. i text you when i get home and i think you’re not going to text me but at 1:35 you do. you say “<3 me too i think (re: being okay). i hope youre having sweet dreams” its like the fourth time we’ve said that to each other. i love that you texted me even tho you think im asleep. its also at the exact moment i am thinking of you and specifically of sex and how incredibly much i will fall apart when/if we ever have sex. and i hear my phone ding and its just like wow. wow. you love me. you even said it. we said it. 

i just... i dont know what to think or feel or anything rn. i still rly want a spliff but also not. its just wow. its so funny how we cant stop touching now that we did once. like i cant turn off my vulnerability and i keep expecting you to run from it or me but you dont. you just get CLOSER and MORE LOVING and its so weird to me!!! we’re so well balanced!!! because thats what i do for you, is i am always grounded and can always support you and be close to you and make you feel beloved and special but you are so good at doing that for me and its just. wow. it felt so fucking good to hold you. ive spent so many nights imagining it and thinking it would never happen and you must have to. but it did. that happened. i said i love you and you didnt run away, you said ‘i love you too’. which i mean i knew but also!!! to hear it!!! it still doesn’t feel real.

so. that was last night. idk exactly where we go from here except everywhere. you just kept making such an effort to tell me how important and special i am to you. you said it multiple times, at the nus stop too again i think. i know you did bc i said ‘when you say those things i want to respond, but i cant. bc my brain doesnt know how to process. bc it feels so much. if i cant make eye contact with you, i am overwhelmed. thats what that means. it means so much to hear and so i get really quiet and look away but its just bc i want it so much that i dont know how to handle it.’ and yr like its okay, and you just understand. you understand so much. work is hilarious bc we’re so fucking telepathic, esp when its busy. like fuckin lmao we bussed a table in like 15 seconds flat and i saw you about to knock over a waffle batter container and i s2g i CAUGHT IT halfway between the fridge and floor and saved it bc we are that in tune. 

you thanked me at one point. idk why. i said thank YOU then said i mean also like, i accept and that’s sweet. but also. thank you. god. it was so incredibly sweet. i can see how much you love me written over your face all the time but esp when we were in your apartment. no one has ever, ever ever soothed my vulnerability like that. not even dylan or tat. no one has been that sweet with me and known what i needed except myself. to just be held. and loved. and cuddled. by you. the sweetest, smartest, kindest, most beautiful person i have ever met. the most interesting person i’ve ever met. im so fucking in love with you and you... feel that way about me and know i need to hear it and tell me and it cant even be for the reaction cuz i cant GIVE you the reaction in the moment but you know anyways because you can read my eyes so well. thats why i cant look at you sometimes. cuz you’ll see my whole face and know. 

jesus jesus jesus christ.