thinking about how eiji's a pole vaulter and how ash talks about eiji "flying" and how eiji's associated with bird imagery and how eiji's free (unlike ash) and how eiji comes in on a plane and leaves on a plane and how ash cannot fly, ash cannot be free, how nyc is ash's prison, and how ash is the leopard who dies climbing the mountain, unable to live at such elevation, how he was trying to reach the sky and be free but was always stuck to the earth, how he chose to die instead of climbing back down, how he chose to die where he could see the sky and hope and freedom almost like a bird with eiji's letter right in front of him rather than letting everything go wrong and ruin it once again, how eiji's a failed pole vaulter anyway, how a bad fall ruined his career and grounded him (physically and emotionally), how it took flying to america and meeting ash and needing to save him and skip for him to try flying again, how he landed hard and harsh and still the thought of that escape compelled ash to protect eiji at all costs because if he could fly that means something to him, even if he doesn't think he can fly, how eiji is the manifestation of his hope and how when he breaks and asks eiji to stay with him a while he folds himself over his legs and weighs him down and traps him and grounds him, how ash fights like hell to keep eiji alive not because he thinks he can be like him (hopeful, flying, innocent), but because he makes him forget the gravity of his situation, and so he can see eiji fly again. how he wants to see him escape. how eiji is a bird and ash is a wildcat and how ash never once saw eiji as prey. how eiji never saw ash as a predator. how it is eiji's naivete that first endears ash to him, how it is his freedom and flight and removal from darkness and his ability to leave that darkness that really roots eiji in ash's blood as something essential to him keeping on living in this hell of nyc. how it is that distance from the violence and that hope for the future that ash chooses to surround himself in as he dies. how ash dies in a dream because he feels more than anything that he can't fly like eiji, that he can never leave. how his violence is a part of him and will be forever, how it weighs him down. how he wants to enjoy the view from the mountainside rather than looking up from the ground below. as if they can both fly. as if he is with him up there and not grounded. eye-to-eye with what he can't have, seeing eiji's homeland: the sky. how he dies trying to reach the top because he couldn't take retreating and trying again. how ash, tired and tired and tired and convinced it will go on forever if he crawls back down the mountain, chooses to close his life deluged in eiji, in eiji's insistence that they can fly together, in eiji's hope for him and for them, in eiji's beautiful dream. how ash dies without trying to realize that dream. how ash, in dying, destroys it.
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these valentines day cards for scarabia got me blushing, giggling, and kicking my feet fr
(also featuring me unnecessarily analyzing them) (i really hope the cards are in the right order i think they are or else everything that i say here will look incredibly silly)
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kalim al-asim:
To my dear friend—
Thanks for the present! What colorful and sparkly sweets. They look delicious!
I just had an idea! How about we eat them together after school? Gifts like this taste better when shared, after all.
I'll pick out a good tea to go with them. Can't wait to see you later!
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To my dear friend—
Thanks for the gift! It's flattering to know you picked this out for me! I'll treat you to anything you like in return—food, live entertainment, an item you've been pining after... You just say the word.
...On second thought, no. I'll come up with something myself!
Just like you came up with this gift to give me.
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Hey love,
Thank you for that wonderful gift! Getting something like this from you just put a smile on my face!
Let me throw you a feast to show my gratitude!
After that, I'll take you on a magic carpet ride, it'll be really fun!
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SO LET ME TALK ABOUT THE PROGRESSION BETWEEN THE CARDS???
on kalim's first card, it's really cute but it also feels just like his usual demeanor where he treats everyone as a friend.
but on to the second card, it looks like he's definitely feeling more strongly enough about you to think "hey let me get you something too!! let me be your genie of the lamp!" at least right before realizing it would be more meaningful to give you a surprise gift as well like you did.
his "dear friend" on the second card is more real this time.
BUT OMG THE WHIPLASH TO THE THIRD CARD
"HEY LOVE" ???? KALIM WHAT
WHEN I TELL YOU MY HEART JUST WENT HFDSNSFHDJFDK
PLSS HE CANT DO THIS TO ME 💀💀💀
THE "MY DEAR FRIEND" -> "HEY LOVE" PROGRESSION
YOUR HONOR HE IS IN LOVE(???)
NO IT’S PROBABLY JUST A REALLY AFFECTIONATE TERM OF ENDEARMENT CONSIDERING THAT IT’S KALIM
(*denial* *denial* *denial*)
the closest ones (that are available) to doing something similar is jade who goes from "my good friend" -> "my dearest" and vil who goes from "dearest friend" to "my dear"
anyways, the third card is kalim finally wanting to go ALL OUT as a way to show you how he feels about you and how thankful he is. he's literally all about having fun with the person he cares about. making every moment memorable.
kalim's love language is also very much extravagant gifts since he's raised in a wealthy family where everything has been handed to him. that's probably how he got the mindset that gifts are the way to show love and affection because that's how his family did it for him. so the bigger the gift the better he can show you how he feels.
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jamil viper:
Hello—
I was surprised to see you gifted me sweets.
At first I wondered if you were hinting for me to make you something similar... But when I pulled the gift out of the bag, I saw all the details you put into it, right down to the ribbon. It's clear this was a heartfelt gesture.
I'll treasure these treats as I eat them. Thank you.
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Hello—
I'll admit it. I'm beyond surprised.
I suppose a heartfelt "thank you" is in order.
In fact, why don't we meet at the school store after class tomorrow?
Hopefully I'll be able to find you something to return the favor.
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Dear friend,
Thank you for the gift. To think I would receive something from you... Well, it caught me off guard. I'd like to give you something in return.
Hmm... What should it be? What might you like?
Why don't you come down to Scarabia sometime and we'll discuss over a cup of tea.
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jamillll;;;
on the first card, he was suspicious of receiving a gift. at first he's like "are you just giving me something so i could give you something as well?" until he realized "oh this is legit" and that you’re not expecting anything back. and then he just enjoys it which is hella cute.
on the second card (unlike the last one) he's now like "let me get you something in return because i really appreciate the gesture". here i think he's still genuinely confused that you still decided to give him a gift. but at this point it feels like he's only offering to get you something in return because he feels like he has to just to show his gratitude. kinda like a fair transaction.
it seems that jamil is still like "why me". like, you cared enough to see and acknowledge him to even consider getting him a gift. which i believe is something he's not used to. so he just wants to "return the favor" by offering you to go find something you like :)
and the third card;;;
"DEAR FRIEND" GOT. MEEE.
YOUR HONOR I LOVE HIMMMMM
i know for other people "friend" is not on the same level as the romantic "love" but i personally feel as strong with platonic relationships as with romantic ones (if not more) and this hit me HARD.
for the third one he's finally comfortable enough to consider you a friend. but he still sounds flabbergasted that you still even thought of him (and **you** specifically) (like he didn't imagine that you'd even give him a gift).
and now this is less of a transaction but more of like he *wants* to make sure that he gets you something that you'd really like. it's not simply just "hey let's go to the school store and see what's available as a thanks", this time it's "hey i really appreciate that you got me something so let's discuss what i can get you as well. i'll be your genie of the lamp, anything is possible (within reason)"
(original twitter thread with these cards)
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